#also the format got fucked up so if its a lil messy i sowwy

[vegetalass]

What about the RDR2 boys on a road trip?

Thank you so much for this fun request! As you can see.... I went a little crazy❤️✨😩

General 

They fight about what snacks they should bring and end up forgetting them all

They all fart in the car and blame each other for it. 

Literally ends up being the stinkiest ride ever and everyone wants to Die 

The fighting about what’s played on the stereo is endless and someone is always unhappy about it

If they have to take two separate cars, Hosea switches up the groups so that no one is stuck with the same people for too long

If one car seats seven, Hosea and Dutch will take the other for themselves (smh)

I’m not gonna lie… literally all of them would pee in a bottle… how they feel about it is pretty different, though 

Arthur 

Can drive one-handed

Drives in silence, not because he likes silence but because everyone else is Too Loud and he needs a break

Tries to talk about the scenery but that’s boring and he gets ignored

Also gets ignored when he points out cool cars.. and cows… and license plates… 

Even Charles can’t be bothered to respond

Backseat driver

Gets yelled at constantly for this but doesn’t stop 

John gets it the worst

He doesn’t have road rage, just thinks that everyone is a bad driver 

His favorite thing is to roll down all of the windows in the car 

Rarely gets to do this because of how many complaint’s he’d get

Stops at every farm stand on the side of the road that he sees 

After a while he doesn’t even need anything and just does it because he feels bad if he drives past them

The only thing he’ll eat while driving is chips

His clothes and seat get covered in crumbs

Wears his hat, jacket and boots in the car even though it’s hot and doesn’t make sense

Also probably buys one of those dangly pine trees to hang on his rearview mirror

Can’t read in the car because he gets carsick :(

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but he doesn’t want to talk about it

John 

If he’s not driving, he’s probably asleep 

And if he’s not asleep, he’s “resting” 

Honestly, he just doesn’t want to talk to anyone in that environment

The grumpiest one of them

He’s just mad (sad) because Abigail wouldn’t let him go with Ms. Grimshaw and the girls

Probably ends up spilling something and tries to blame it on whoever is sitting next to him 

Spends most of his radio time just browsing through stations

When he finds anything he likes, it immediately goes to ads and the process starts all over again

Takes all his rest stops at 7/11 just so he can get a slushee and a hotdog 

He’s okay with stopping at gas stations too but they’re just not the same

Takes off his shoes in the car and just wears his socks the whole ride 

He probably drives like that, too 

This is why Abigail didn’t let him go with them 

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but he’d be mad about it and would try to bring it up a lot

Charles 

Plans out where and when he’s going to make stops

Probably does a few stretches and some jumping jacks when he gets out of the car

He will let the gang stop at McDonalds but only if he thinks they deserve it

The only thing he orders for himself is an ice cream cone 

The safest driver out of everyone

So safe, in fact, that he’s always made to drive at night

He doesn’t mind much because everyone is pretty quiet when it’s late and that means less complaining

Makes a long playlist full of music like Sufjan Stevens and Mumford & Sons (and The Black Eyed Peas) 

Everyone tries to clown him for it but he’s the King of brushing it off 

“When it’s your turn, you can play what you want” or “I didn’t complain when you were playing 100gecs” 

First of all: drag them… 

Second of all: okay, Dad. 

Talented because he can read in the car without getting carsick

Apologizes for everyone’s behavior when they go anywhere

Makes everyone use hand sanitizer after doing literally anything

They have to pass it around the car like little kids

It’s probably Bath and Body Works

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but pretends that he wouldn’t 

Micah

If he’s driving, he gets control of the radio. Doesn’t matter if it’s his turn or not, he gets Full Control. 

If anyone even suggests changing what he’s playing, he snaps at them

Dummy probably smokes in the car

Dummy also probably eats while he drives

Holds his food while steering 

Everything gets greasy

His rest stops are incredibly short

So short that they practically don’t exist

Threatens to drive off without people 

The only time Dutch intervenes with his behavior is when he tries to pick up a hitchhiker

He’s like, “Look Arthur, it’s your long lost brother!” 

He also probably tries to stop at a gentlemen’s club in the middle of nowhere at some point, too 

“I could crash this car right now if I wanted to” 

He only says this once though because it causes a riot

Backseat driver but only to Arthur 

Sean swerving and Hosea speeding: I sleep 

Arthur accidentally cutting someone off: REAL SHIT?

The only other one who gets to use the charging cord (because he’s mean and demands to)

Would he pee in a bottle? - He’s almost happy to

Hosea 

Is never allowed to drive because he doesn’t like to make stops. He 100% will drive past every single rest stop and every single McDonalds they see

Everyone could be screaming at him to pull over and he’d just ignore them

Drives way too fast. Catch him going 90 MPH saying “I’m just going with the traffic!” 

Everyone else: terrified

When it’s his turn for the radio, he chooses to play an audiobook

If you complain about being bored to him, he’ll try to get everyone to sing campfire songs 

Everyone gets to about ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall before giving up and start fighting

He’s also the one to suggest playing “I Spy”

The gang will play but it’s all like 

“I Spy something gross” 

“Is it Micah’s butt crack?” 

“Yes” 

Has one of those mini electric fans that sprays water at you when you press a button 

Doesn’t share it

Always has his phone plugged into the charger to the point where no one else can use it 

Keeps a box of bubbly water under his seat 

It’s lukewarm

He’s the only one who drinks it but he offers it to everyone 24/7 

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but only because he makes the other boys do it and he feels guilty

Dutch 

Acts like everyone should be grateful he’s driving even though they’re all taking turns 

Pulls the “You’re lucky I drove, I’m not a chauffeur!” card when someone is mean to him about anything

Music of choice is just Elvis Presley with a few random smooth jazz songs mixed in 

“What do you boys know about this?”

Everyone: … 

Complains about everything

If he’s not complaining about someone being irritating, he’s complaining about how hot it is, and if not that, there’s something else

Always thirsty and needs to have a drink with him at all time

Will only share it with Hosea or Arthur and lowkey neither of them want what he’s drinking 

When he’s driving, makes everyone stop at a drive-through cafe where he orders the most expensive iced drink on the menu 

Like Arthur, gets mad at people for “not enjoying the view” 

“You boys are so lucky you get to experience the…” Blah, blah, blah 

Ends up falling asleep but only because he wears a sleep mask and ear plugs

Probably listens to music on a walkman lmao

*Dutch in sunglasses and headphones* “Sorry I didn’t see you right there, I was too busy, mmm, blocking out the haters” 

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, because he thinks it’s efficient 

Kieran 

Slowest driver of the bunch 

And out of all of them, takes the most stops 

Probably packs his own bag of snacks and it’s all fucking jellybeans and gummy bears 

Says that they’re the easiest to eat while driving 

Technically, that isn’t even a lie (Micah, please take notes)

He will stop anywhere anyone asks… Why is he so nice?

His favorite stop is Dunkin’ Donuts, though

The music he plays is either great or awful and no one can agree on which is which

Every other song is 2000s dance techno

That or Taylor Swift (and that’s when people start yelling at him to change it)  

Spends the whole trip in slides and no one wants to sit next to him because of his exposed feet

He can (and will) drive in them, though 

When he’s not driving, he’s probably watching a movie or playing games on a big ass tablet

Gets made fun of for using huge headphones

People are just jealous he’s able to find a wifi signal

Would he pee in a bottle? - He’s done grosser things for less, so yes 

Javier 

Brings himself a sandwich to eat and ends up sitting on it 

Backseat driver energy but he’s better at restraining his comments than Arthur 

That being said, if your driving is shitty, he will send you Vibes 

Doesn’t bother much with searching for music and just ends up playing a few hour long YouTube mixes when it’s his turn for the radio 

It’s either that, or Mexican radio for 2 hours (and he will sing along)

The only people who don’t complain about this are Charles and Arthur

Probably the only one out of all of them to make the gang go to an actual restaurant during his rest stop

It’s the first real meal any of them have had in like, three days, and suddenly they all feel better

They refuse to admit it, though

Clips his nails out the window at some point

Ties a bandana around his eyes and uses it as a sleep mask 

*insert that picture of the guy with his face mask over his eyes on an airplane* 

Also probably uses the bandana to block out the smell of farts when it gets especially stinky 

Would he pee in a bottle? - He doesn’t want to, but his logic is that if everyone is doing it, why shouldn’t he? 

Sean 

His driving speed is normal but his driving skills are… Bad

He just isn’t paying attention honestly

Too busy talking

Probably tries to text and drive

Arthur takes away his phone after that

Also, did someone say road rage? 

When it’s his turn for music, only plays nasty pop and rap  

It’s fine at first, but the fourth time he plays “I Cry” by Flo Rida or “New Body” by Kanye and Nicki Minaj, everyone gets mad 

Only takes rest stops at gas stations

And takes literally the longest stops out of all them 

Probably spends the whole time telling the gas station cashier about how annoying everyone is 

Everyone is like “kasjdfkhd” because they think he’s the annoying one and they’ve been waiting to leave for like ten minutes

Don’t sit next to him because he will sweat on you 

If you share your drink with him, 50% chance he’ll backwash in it 

When he’s not driving, he’s watching Tik Toks without headphones (if Arthur has given his phone back, that is) 

Would he pee in a bottle? - Without hesitation

Bonus: 

While the boys are all off fighting, Ms. Grimshaw packed the girls a picnic that they get to enjoy at a nice, camping rest stop 

Molly speeds like the devil 

She’s like Hosea, if not worse 

Tilly made everyone a different playlist and they all take turns listening to them 

Karen isn’t allowed to drive because she spiked her water bottle before leaving

Also isn’t allowed the aux cord because she will play inappropriate music or meme songs 

Sadie pumps the gas and chooses all of the snacks for everyone 

It’s a mixture of healthy treats and candy 

Jack is the Squidward wearing sunglasses while sunbathing meme when John asks if he wants to ride “with the boys”