#‘why do you keep reading it then ren’ i’m 60% through it and i have to know how they land this

[bisexualamy]

i kept going back on forth on if the book i’m reading is any good but now it’s committed the sin of a child character so precocious it belongs in one of those fake tumblr stories from 2010.

do you ever read a novel and just know it belongs on the reese witherspoon book club list? this book claims to say so many things about Rehabilitation and Queerness and the Slope Towards Fascism but it’s so shallow it barely nicks the surface of them. it’s a story about Coping after a big event and Grief which is usually my catnip but it’s so sterile it’s so hard to get into. like yes i guess your book is Queer™ and Subversive™ because your MC is a lesbian into bdsm. this book is about resistance in exactly the way suburban democrats say it.

[kim-miri]

HALF(have a little fun) pt. vii

→ one | two | three | four | five | six

→ Sayomi Zoldyck is the eldest child and twin sister to Illumi, of the renowned Zoldyck family of assassins. At the age of ten she’s taken away to Meteor City by her mother, Kikyo Zoldyck, unbeknownst to the rest of the family, as well as newborn Killua, and left to fend for herself. This is the story of the long-lost Zoldyck and those she becomes acquainted with, all while she just wants to have a little fun.

» part seven / ?

» pairing: eventually - chrollo x oc x feat. hisoka

» warnings: swearing, blood/violence

» a/n: helloo~ this is my first write ever, and it’ll probably be a pretty long series. I’m also balancing school and a part-time job so forgive me for slow updates! If you’re reading this, thank you so much for showing interest and please leave comments below with your inputs!

» word count: 4,732

☾vii. part vii: start of something new

Waking up in a warm, quiet room 199 floors from the ground at Heaven’s Arena, Sayomi sat up in her bed, blinking the sleep from her eyes.

She had slept more soundly than she had in a while, between Meteor City and the watching eyes of the Mafia. 

But maybe it was the faint, earthy scent that Kite had left behind, or perhaps it was the fact that Sayomi was now free to live on her own in one of the most populated cities in the world. She decided it was the latter this time around.

A good night’s sleep had proved to resolve the conflicting thoughts in her head, as Sayomi settled that Kite was a good friend, and would never be anything more.

In this way, she was able to accept the reality that there had never been anything more than friendly interactions between them, and it would stay that way.

In all honesty, she needed a teacher if she was going to make a life out of fighting at Heaven’s Arena. And judging by the immense aura Kite had surrounding him even while he was resting, she knew he outclassed her in nen abilities.

As of now her nen acted as her last line of defense, still being rather inconsistent and hard to control. Though she had improved a great deal with her independent training in Meteor City, she still had a lot to learn about the potentials of her abilities. 

Stretching out her limbs and rising from bed, Sayomi got ready for the day ahead of her.

☾vii.

Kite and his student were waiting for Sayomi on the 60th floor, as Stick Dinner had his 60s match later today.

The three would train in the gym on this floor as they waited for Stick’s match to come around. It was rather empty because the 60th floor was merely a transitioning floor where contestants would come and go.

Kite started his two students off with a basic nen introduction, explaining the four major principles: Ten, Zetsu, Ren, and Hatsu. 

Sayomi had already learned all about nen and its history back when she was around 4 years old alongside Illumi. Kite was aware of this as well but needed to explain the basics to Stick.

A long lecture and one Water Divination Test later, and Stick was now educated of his nen abilities and excited to learn more.

They had now moved onto attempting to recognize Stick’s hatsu, which would become his own personal nen ability. 

Sayomi’s own hatsu was already established, being her hypnotic spell and corpse control. And because she had only truly used it while fighting for her life in Meteor City, she still had significant difficulties with using her power.

Kite was also aware of Sayomi’s hatsu from the days he’d used to visit Kukuroo Mountain. He remembered Sayomi demonstrating her power on weak intruders and aggressive animals, their deceased corpses moving like puppets at her command.

Though he’d never say it out loud, it was quite terrifying.

For this exact reason, Kite had apologetically said Sayomi should wait until she was free to use nen in the 200s battles to train her hatsu. It was just too dangerous to practice for the purpose of training.

Therefore, instead of practicing her hatsu like Stick, Sayomi was put to work training her ren. She would have to maintain it for an hour today, and Kite mentioned she would eventually progress to longer durations of time.

Sayomi’s ren was intense, she had to stay 10 feet away from anyone else to make sure she didn’t affect them. Her body was surrounded in a malicious, deep purple shroud of energy, contrasting with Kite’s pure white aura.

☾vii.

Half an hour had passed with Kite’s training, said man working with Stick to strengthen his hatsu while Sayomi stood concentrated on maintaining her ren.

As of now, she was still fine, just rather bored with the method of training.

She opted to watch the on-going fights on the monitor above her instead of staring at the wall in front of her. However, this proved to be even worse, as the contestants she watched were all terribly amateur. 

Sighing when she saw a contestant trip over his own feet on the monitor, she had caught Kite’s attention. “Not tired yet?”

Sayomi looked to Kite with a guilt-ridden expression. “Ah, not yet, but that’s not why I… nevermind. Sorry!”

Kite let out a rather short laugh at her frantic apology, walking just outside her ren aura to stand in front of her.

“No need to apologize. This exercise is meant to be a drag, it trains not only strengthening your nen, but also patience and putting mind over body. Looks like…  you have about 20 minutes left, keep it up!”

Sayomi smiled weakly at Kite’s attempt at encouragement. He was a blunt person by nature so to anyone else his words probably came across as sarcastic, but Sayomi recognized his sincerity. 

She thanked him with a short smile.

Around the 50 minute mark, Sayomi was finally breaking out a sweat, her arms and legs had actually been burning for a while now, but she’d been holding in any signs of weakness.

She was getting a little dizzy now, putting more force into her legs in order to stay upright and not swaying along with the room in front of her.

“Annnd time. Sayomi your hour’s up.”

Sayomi’s ren faded as she fell back to lean against the wall for support. 

Damn, I must be out of shape or something. 

Kite stepped over to where Sayomi stood trying to catch her breath. “Not as easy as you thought?”

She looked up with a sneer. “I’m just getting started, gimme a week and I’ll pass you up.”

Kite’s eyes were now filled with amusement. Having sent Stick off to standby for his match, he took a seat in front of Sayomi, motioning for her to do the same.

Sayomi sat cross-legged with her head resting against the wall, her eyes closed as she attempted to regenerate her aura.

“What’s your record anyway?”

Kite looked across at the exhausted girl. “About a day.”

“A DAY?!” Sayomi’s eyes flew open at Kite’s response, clearly having underestimated her instructor.

He only nodded in return, wishing to change the subject off of himself. “If I may ask... what exactly is the eldest daughter of the Zoldyck family doing at a place like Heaven’s Arena?”

There was the question. She was surprised he hadn’t asked her earlier.

To lie or not to lie… 

“My parents sent me here as a test of strength. I’m not allowed back until I reach the very top.” Sayomi lied through her teeth, not wanting to tell Kite about her banishment.

That should convince him.

“The very top? Ah, so they wish for you to become a floor master. I see... well with the right training, you can surely get to that point perhaps within a few years?” Kite looked at Sayomi expectantly.

A few years? What the hell even is a ‘floor master’? 

With a measly lie, Sayomi had screwed herself over. She had originally intended in making a few million jenny by cruising through the 100s and getting her own room. But with this whole floor master thing, she could already sense that her future at Heaven’s Arena would become much more complex.

The title does sound pretty cool though… maybe I’ll just go along with the flow for now.

“Right! Haha… they want me to become a floor master. So you think you’ll be able to help me get there?”

Kite looked deep in thought. Did I say something wrong? 

Meeting Sayomi’s eyes once again, he spoke. “On second thought Sayomi… I’ve made a promise to train Stick Dinner, and with the danger of your nen abilities, I don’t think I can do you any good as an instructor.”

She was about to take back her words and say becoming a floor master was unnecessary, but he cut her off.

“However, I just realized something that I should’ve thought of before. I’m not sure how you’d get along, but there is someone with more experience than me at Heaven’s Arena.”

Sayomi looked up, interested in his proposal.

Noticing her apparent interest, Kite continued, “I happen to owe him a favor as well, because I’ve been staying in his room on the 200th floor with Stick. He’s… a rather interesting person, and he finds enjoyment in fighting powerful individuals. But nevermind his personality, I think you would benefit greatly from his experience both with nen and Heaven’s Arena, more than I could ever do for you.”

Kite examined Sayomi’s expression, it seemed to be a mixture of uncertainty and curiosity.

“I’m not proposing you make a decision right away, as he’ll actually be absent for some time… but I recommend you consider it as a possibility.”

In her mind, Sayomi was unsure of what to think about this mysterious acquaintance of Kite, but in her heart and soul, there was an undeniable hunger for more power and more recognition. If she were to become a floor master, her name would surely spread throughout Yorknew City and perhaps even reach her parents. 

“When will he return?”

Kite smiled at her sign of interest in his offer. He knew she would be able to handle his colleague’s eccentric personality, and from there she would only have room to grow even stronger.

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. He’s a very spontaneous man, and the last time I saw him he mentioned traveling around the world to find his next rival.”

Sayomi thought about her current options. 

“I understand… training my nen would most likely require the death of victims, which you would never allow, but without improving my nen I would seemingly get destroyed in the 200s matches. Right?”

Kite took a moment to consider her words. “Yes, more or less.”

Sayomi nodded in return. “So then supposedly… this acquaintance of yours would be willing to train my nen even if it would mean others will die?”

“Precisely.” Kite grimaced at her blunt deduction of his words.

Sayomi threw her arms back, resting her hands behind her head. “Well alright then! Until this friend of yours gets back I guess I’ll just see how far I can get without using my nen.”

“Acquaintance. But yes, I suppose fighting without your nen until he gets back would be a good use of time.” 

☾vii.

Sayomi and Kite headed to the stands of the arena after wrapping up their conversation. Kite’s student was up for the next match, leaving the two childhood friends to watch amongst the crowd.

Stick’s match went smoothly, he had outsmarted his opponent by anticipating each of his attacks, and in the end all he had left was to tire him out enough to land the finishing blow.

He was now qualified to continue on to the 70s, while Sayomi’s fight would be the next day.

☾vii.

Kite stood leaning against the back wall of the 60th floor arena, his eyes focused on the light-footed girl currently playing around with her opponent in the ring. 

He felt almost a sense of pride, watching the little Zoldyck girl who had used to be too shy as to even raise her voice, now dancing around in the illuminated arena full of confidence.

She was taking her time with the unworthy opponent who stood across from her. Under normal circumstances, Kite would have been infuriated with Sayomi’s disrespectful actions, but this time it was much different.

Her opponent had spent the final minutes before their match catcalling and spilling other obscene words towards Sayomi. Kite had moved to step in between the two contestants, ready to punch the man’s teeth in, but Sayomi had given him a look so full of malice he knew to hold back.

She was waiting to absolutely ruin her opponent in the ring.

So when he saw Sayomi taking her sweet time and making a fool out of the man who’d previously disrespected her, Kite only smirked in satisfaction from a distance.

Sayomi you’ve been through a lot, haven’t you… all this anger and hatred coursing through your aura. 

In the arena, Sayomi brought a swift heel down on her opponent's hand. An attack that was worth no points but only for the purpose of causing pain.

Pain… who hurt you Sayomi? What ever happened to the girl who’d cried when she accidentally swatted a butterfly?

Kite experienced a flurry of conflicting emotions as he watched Sayomi torture and eventually knock down her opponent. 

He was worried about her emotional health, knowing for sure now that she had experienced something so tragic and crucial it’d turned her pure aura a 180 degree turn into bloodlust and malice.

However, he was glad to know one thing was for sure. 

She would definitely survive and benefit from his unstable colleague’s training, for now he realized they were so similar it was almost as if they were the same person. 

Or perhaps two halves of a whole.

☾vii.

1 year later

It was the weekend and Sayomi was currently on an off day in between fights.

In the year that had passed with her progressing through Heaven’s Arena, Sayomi was now a single fight away from the 200s.

Admiring the view from Kite’s old room on the 199th floor, she smiled to herself. 200s at last.

The truth was that Sayomi had a room of her own now, being well into the 100s. However she’d already been so accustomed to using Kite’s room that she’d convinced him into switching rooms with her.

Now that all three of them had rooms of their own, the borrowed room on the 200th floor was empty once again, waiting for the return of its owner.

Sayomi had just finished combat training with Kite and Stick, still unable to use her nen because of the possible consequences. 

As she gazed longer out the window in front of her, she started to see her reflection cast in the clear glass, and soon it was all she saw.

Who am I?

Staring back at her, the reflection she saw in the window was much different than she’d expected. Her violet eyes were dull, emotionless, and the passion that had once lit up her soul was now gone, replaced with a worn out ghost of who she used to be.

This was all it took to make Sayomi forget about all she had done to make it to where she was now. This, being her reminiscent thoughts about the family that had ditched her.

She may have declared to herself millions of times that she was indeed her own person now, but the lingering desire to be loved once again forced her start over every single time.

She needed someone to rely on, though she’d never admit it. It was her constant overthinking that she would only become a burden to those who cared about her that stopped her from seeking support in others. Her family had left her insecure and broken, desperate for someone else’s attention.

Let’s see… If Illumi and I are turning 19 this year, that means… Killua will be 9. 

9 years old, huh… 

I wonder if he still looks like me? God, if I were with him I think I’d spend every last jenny just to see that smile one more time.

...I hope you’re hanging in there Killua. 

Just wait a little bit longer, and I promise I’ll come save you.

Forgive me I just need more time to be able to face everyone again.

☾vii.

Watching the sunset over Yorknew City from his new room on the 199th floor, Kite was currently typing back a response to a rather unclear message he’d received from his traveling colleague.

No matter how many times he’d read it, he just couldn’t decipher the exact reason or message behind the text he had received. 

Staring at it with a skeptical expression, he read it once more:

Isn’t it quite amusing how fate plays out sometimes? 

I’ve arrived in the city and can’t wait to meet this student of yours, as it seems I’ve already partially met her without even realizing it. 

I can’t wait to start training with her. ♥️

Kite let out an exasperated sigh.

What does he mean by ‘I’ve already partially met her’? I swear he’s always so ambiguous with his words. 

Damn, what an exhausting guy.

☾vii.

Today was the day of Sayomi’s fight that would determine whether she’d advance into the 200s. That meant it was also the last day Sayomi would fight without her nen and weapons.

However, her day was about to get much more eventful than a promotion into the 200s. 

Kite’s acquaintance had arrived in the city the other day, and after a short visit to a friend, he would make it back to Heaven’s Arena later today to meet his new student.

Kite had no knowledge about this part, as all he was told was that he had arrived in the city.

Back in the 199th floor arena, Sayomi had arrived early, taking her time to stretch and enjoy the time left before her final fistfight.

Kite stood alongside Sayomi in the mostly empty waiting room, it would be his last day with his childhood friend, at least without an excuse to spend time with her.

Once she was in the 200s, Kite wouldn’t be able to do much for her, as he had his own student to manage.

He stared sympathetically at the little Zoldyck girl from his childhood. She had grown into a relentless fighter, leaving no time to enjoy living her life during her prime years.

All he could now was hope that his assumptions about his colleague were right, in that he would not only provide Sayomi with the right training, but also fun and other things kids of her age should be doing.

Sayomi finished her preparations well before the scheduled time of the fight, leaving the two with time to talk and reminisce about the old days.  

They’d also talked briefly about Sayomi’s new instructor. Kite explained how he’d finally arrived in the city the other day, coming back from seeking out the most powerful assassins and hunters to challenge in fights to the death.

Sayomi was delighted at this, getting a feeling that this mysterious instructor would put up a solid fight against her while they trained. “You said he was on the 200th floor, right? Has he not been able to defeat a floormaster yet?”

Kite raised his eyebrows at her question. “Ah… no, not yet. But I believe that’s because he’s constantly sidetracked with trying to find his ‘perfect rival’.” 

Sayomi bit the inside of her cheek, confused. “Hmm but if he’s back now… does that mean he found someone worthy on his trip?”

Kite nodded at this. “Yes, I believe so. It’s either he’s satisfied with the amount of people he’s massacred, or he’s found a formidable opponent he knows he can come back and fight at a later time.”

“I see… he sounds… rather interesting.” Sayomi was actually a bit excited, it’d been a while since she was to face someone of such a high reputation.

Beside her, Kite had taken notice of the slight change in Sayomi’s aura. It seems I predicted correctly, she’ll get along just fine.

☾vii.

“Our next fight decides who moves on to the 200th floor. We have Ichihiro versus Sayomi! At this time, choose your side and place your bets!”

Under the spotlights, Sayomi stood with her hands resting behind her head. Her eyes remained closed, she seemed to be taking the last minutes to relax.

“The bets are in! Looks like today’s match is in favor of Sayomi Zoldyck!”

Ichihiro let out a scoff, mocking his opponent who, in his eyes, seemed overconfident to the point where she didn’t even need to look at him. “Are you nice and relaxed over there, girl? I’ll tell you now you’re gonna regret facing me.”

Sayomi disregarded her opponent's words. In reality, she was worried, and anyone who could see her aura could notice this as well. 

Kite turned his head at Sayomi’s restlessness. What is she so tense for?

Sayomi tightened her grip around her other hand. Inside her head, she tried to calm the exhilaration that stemmed as a result of her final match without weapons. She couldn’t wait to finally stand on the 200th floor.

In other words, Sayomi wasn’t afraid, or intimidated by her opponent. She was worried for him.

God damn… if I don’t calm down I might accidentally kill the guy. 

The adrenaline rushing through her was threatening to spike over, which would cause her to lose control and flip her assassin switch on.

Relax, Sayomi.

“Fighters ready? Following the 100s rules there will be no time limit and fighters will fight until a TKO by 10 points or a KO.”

Sayomi opened her eyes, moving to stand upright as she stared at her opponent.

“The winner will move onto the 200th floor. Fight!”

Ichihiro held back from making the first move. He had reviewed Sayomi’s last fight and seen her strategy of using her opponent’s force against them. 

Sayomi raised an eyebrow at his lack of movement.

Not gonna move, huh? So you think you’re smart.

She took off with steps faster than the average eye could see.

I guess I’ll just have to come to you then.

With a flexible left leg, Sayomi lifted her heel above her opponent's head, slamming it straight into the side of the unexpecting man’s face with a roundhouse kick.

Ichihiro stumbled to the side gasping, spitting out blood from his now split gums.

He raised his head ready to curse out the teen, but all he saw was white.

Sayomi had met the man’s face with a solid left foot, sending him backwards onto the ground with a cry of pain.

Ichihiro was clutching his bloody face now, unable to recover in time for yet another left swing kick, this time to the side.

From far back against the wall, Kite watched with a surprised expression on his face.

She’s holding back quite a bit. Only using her left leg…

A few more solid kicks to the ribs and Sayomi halted her movements as if on command. Turning to the baffled referee, she asked, “TKO by 10 points right?”

“Ah, r-right.” 

Shaking out of his apparent shock at the one-sidedness of the match, the referee raised a flag. “Winner by TKO. Sayomi Zoldyck!”

The crowd cheered as they could now collect their money from the bets they’d made.

With a small wave to Kite at the back of the stands, Sayomi exited the arena with light steps.

She was proud of herself for restraining her bloodlust.

☾vii.

That night Sayomi treated Stick and Kite to dinner on Heaven’s Arena’s 200th floor diner. 

It was a congratulatory dinner, as Sayomi would now be moving on to training her nen, but it was also one of sentimental feelings. The group of three had become close friends within the year they’d spent together training at Heaven’s Arena.

So although no one addressed the fact that the group of three was to become a group of two after today, everyone shared a bit of the sorrow in their hearts as the evening soon came to an end.

The three parted ways around 9, Kite wishing the best to Sayomi on the 200th floor. It wasn’t like they’d never see each other again, they were only a floor apart after all.

However, without the excuse of training or a coincidental passing by, the childhood friends knew that they most likely wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while. 

☾vii.

Sayomi let out a heavy sigh as she walked alone down the hallway of doors to her room.

Releasing her hair from its taught ponytail, Sayomi ran a lazy hand down her face. 

Can a day get any longer? All I wanna do now is take a nice, warm shower… and then sleep in till noon.

Arriving in front of her door at last, Sayomi reached into her pockets for her room key. Sliding the key into the lock, she frowned when she found the door to be unlocked.

Strange… I don’t think I’ve ever forgotten to lock the door before. Maybe because I was too excited?

Sayomi shrugged, speculating she’d probably forgotten to lock the door out of the rush to get ready in the morning.

Swinging the door open without another thought, Sayomi moved to take a step further into her room when a cold chill ran down her spine.

What… is… this devilish aura?

She was on full alert now, awakening her own aura to try and ward off her intruder.

In the darkness of her room, she could make out a faint silhouette surrounded by the deep purple, murderous aura she’d felt earlier.

“Who… are you? What are you doing in my room?” Though she’d sworn her voice was steady, there was a hint of uncertainty as the intruder’s aura became more intense.

The intruder turned to face Sayomi in the darkness. “Hm? Ah, you’ve finally returned… I’ve been most awaiting your presence, Sayomi Zoldyck.”

The man took exaggeratingly slow steps towards her, and Sayomi noticed he walked almost completely on his toes. Almost like he was walking across a tightrope.

She squinted through the darkness, perplexed at the stranger knowing her name. Her mind screamed at her to fight, run, do something, but her feet remained frozen in place as the man’s figure slowly illuminated with the dim lights of the hallway.

The man was considerably tall, though he was also wearing heels, an interesting feat. His brilliant red hair was styled as if he’d been caught in a windstorm, framing an all too pale face with distinct face paint decorating either cheek: a star on the left and a teardrop on the right.

In a way, he was handsome.

This crossed Sayomi’s mind as well, however she’d mentally slapped herself as she was brought back into the reality of the situation. 

“How do you know my name?” Sayomi was on guard, ready to either attack or run on a moment’s notice.

The man only laughed, his pale lips turning upwards in a wide smile as he looked Sayomi over from head to toe.

“Oh darling, you mean you haven’t caught on to the situation yet?”

A step closer and the man’s full frame was now in front of Sayomi to see in all his glory. Broad shoulders, chiseled, toned biceps, a tiny waist, and proportions to die for.

Get a grip, he just broke into your room.

In her flustered state, both from confusion and the rather attractive man towering over her, Sayomi suddenly felt as though she’d forgotten how to speak.

Her mouth opened and closed without sound, concentrated entirely on the man in front of her.

Sayomi’s frazzled state seemed to add on to man’s already overflowing confidence as he let out another brief laugh before crossing his arms. 

“It seems as though Kite has yet to tell you anything about my arrival.” He frowned before continuing, “Well, I suppose you’ll find out all about me in no time, I’m your new trainer after all.”

Sayomi eyes widened at his words. Of course, Kite said he was arriving soon, I totally forgot!

“Ah… well in that case… nice to meet you?”

Her new trainer smirked at her hesitation. “I have to say, I didn’t expect you to be so visually appealing, darling. It seems Kite decided to keep your beauty from me for as long as he could, that sly bastard.”

Sayomi felt her face heat up in a mad blush. No one had ever called her such things, as she was accustomed to words like vicious or murderous. 

Sayomi failed to get the words out of her mouth once again, effectively fazed by the man’s comments.

Said man ran a slender hand through his hair, laughing once again at his undeniable effect on the young assassin.

Reaching out ever so slowly, he grazed his knuckles over the left side of Sayomi’s face, who in turn became even further flustered at the sudden skinship. 

“You, my dear, are going to be quite the pleasure to work with.”

☾vii.

a/n: guess who? 

taglist open:))

[slutsofren]

Hallo! Here’s my official request for some fluff with CEO! Kylo & Mistress for the time he tells her he loves her & his plans for the future :3

This one was super super fun to write but finding the words to put down was so difficult, im so so so sorry @bicthpotato but thank you dearly for your patience !!

Just Because I Love You

Summary: Kylo is in town to spend some time with you, you cannot wait for you two to take some time off and relax. Being the CEOs of your own companies was rough work so Kylo has a little speech for you.

General Info: CEO Kylo & Mistress AU, fluff, first time saying “I love you”, teasing, lots of teasing and sarcasm, light cursing, Kylo talking about his emotions?? whomst???

Read on AO3 here! Just under 2k. 

It was 4:00 on the dot, you knew you’d be able to slip out of the office easily at this time. Besides, you were the boss, who was going to stop you? Your employees knew better, each one went through your rather rigorous 60 day training period and if they lasted then they deserved all the benefits you were able to grant them. They were grateful to be here under your care just as much as you were grateful they helped create a loving work environment.

It helps being a powerful boss ass bitch. You wore that title proud.

What you also wore proud was the immaculate silver necklace around your neck with an elegant “K” charm dangling, catching the light of every room you walked into. It was the latest gift from Kylo, just because he missed you and wanted you to have a small piece of him with you in Los Angeles after you came home.

Your fingers fidgeted with the charm,  rubbing the “K” over and over. You looked at your watch once again, 4:05. You rose from your chair and rounded the desk, grabbing your work satchel and coat, flicking the light off behind you. Your assistant looked up from her computer, “Headed home early, ma’am?”

“How many times do I have to tell you,” you teased, “don’t call me ‘ma’am’ I’m not old.”

She let out a hearty laugh, “Of course, is there anything you’d like me to finish up, Miss?” You paused and thought for a moment but you couldn’t bear to think about work much longer.

“Do one thing and then you can go home, email each department to give everybody the rest of the day off.”

“On account of what, Miss?”

“On the account that I’m in a damn good mood and I’m going to see somebody that I’ve missed dearly.”

You gave her one last smile before continuing out of the office, a little hop found its way into your step echoing in the clinks of the darling heels you wore.

It’s been a couple months since you met the infamous Kylo Ren. You didn’t know who he was when you two met that fateful evening but after spending not just the night together but the following week with him, you knew he was somebody you wanted to continue keeping in your life.

In summary, the relationship the two of you cultivated was almost like two stars colliding in the galaxy and choosing to fly together. The choice to stay around each other, watching him with his explosive temper and him watching you in your cool rage, that choice made whatever you had with Kylo Ren feel powerful and unwavering.

After your time in New York with what you initially thought would be a fling, he visited you in California once before. After your second trip to New York, it was then that you knew in your heart that you were in it for the long haul.

It was nice, you thought as you drove down the busy Los Angeles freeways. You have an incredibly sexy date tonight and he is probably the sexiest man in the world.

You were eager to return home, hoping to see the man who invaded your thoughts soon. His plane was expected to land after it got dark and the two of you had planned a simple wine and dine on the balcony of your apartment. A nice cozy evening with one of the warmest souls you’ve ever met.

The apartment building you lived in was one of those that was lingering from old Hollywood, the art deco structure was an iconic look which made you love it from your first visit. It also helped the security on the building was top notch, something you’ve come to appreciate being a woman living by yourself.

“Honey, I’m home,” you said to no one as you entered your home, leaving your keys in a small bowl by the front door. As you removed your shoes by the doorway, you noticed there was a dark grey silk scarf on the coat rack, an item of clothing that was certainly not yours.

You ran your fingers over it, feeling its softness. After a moment you caught a whiff of the cologne that lightly came off it- it was distinctly Kylo. Your heart went into a flutter as your hands reached the bottom of the scarf where there was a black monogram KR embroidered on the rich material. That smile you had been forcing down finally spread wide across your face as you called his name loudly.

“Over here, little one,” his deep voice rang from outside your balcony. You took off your coat, throwing it off to some chair at your dining bar area. 

Kylo stood on the balcony, waiting for you leaning against the glass railing. He looked incredibly handsome standing there, the sun illuminated each and every single one of his beauty marks that you’d come to love tracing over with sweet kisses during moments of reprieve. His shirt was a tad bit ruffled, adding to his charm. Clearly a man who worked as fast as he could just to fly to your neck of the woods just as fast. 

You could hardly catch your breath as you took the few remaining steps that kept you from your lover, a truly decadent sweet. As your arms found themselves around his neck, his lips met yours in a sweet, chaste kiss. Nothing could be spoken that could mirror the joy in your heart, only the smile you felt sprawled on your face.

“Hey, handsome,” you spoke as you gazed up at Kylo.

He looked at you, letting his hands snake down to your hips, “Hey.”

The two of you kissed one more time before he grabbed one of your hands that was wrapped around his neck, he gave another kiss to the back of your hand. “A true gentleman,” you poked.

He let out a groan, “Quiet you, just sit in the damn chair, there’s something we need to talk about.” By the looks of his facial expression, you knew it was serious but nothing of concern, something that eased your mind for the time being. He led you by your hand, not once letting go and sat you down in one of the two chairs sitting on the balcony. You noticed that Kylo took the liberty of setting out your dinner plates for two on the table alongside fresh flowers, a colorful arrangement of carnations, daisies, baby’s breath, and roses. The mixture of reds and whites filled your heart with adoration for the gruff man in front of you.

Kylo always carried an air of aggression and being rough around the edges, something you’d easily recognize as his signature. It didn’t matter in the end, only that you’d know you’d never be subjected to the end of his red hot blade.

“So,” you edged him on, “Is it Bazine?” He shook his head. “Your mother,” you felt yourself grow cold. He shook his head again, saying nothing. Instead of words he sat down opposite of you and reached into his jacket pocket that hung around the back of his chair and grabbed something, a small box.

He passed it to you, a black box wrapped in a fine white silk ribbon. It was small, fit perfectly in the palm of your hand as you picked it up. “What’s this, Kylo? I’m sure I’ve told you time and time again not to get me gifts,” you laughed.

He looked away, resting back in his seat. “Just open the damned box already, brat.” You laughed again, knowing his little tantrum was a jest. Something you’ve grown to love about him.

The ribbon fell away easily, as if wanting nothing more than you to hurry and open the box too, you took a moment and glanced back to Kylo. His eyes grew dark as he covered his mouth with one of his hands, his eyebrows just as furrowed in hesitation. You could tell he was a bit anxious.

With a click, the little black box was open. Inside was a silver cuff bracelet. Simple, modest, and everything you could ever admire in a jewelry piece. “Oh, Kylo, I love it!”

“Keep looking at it,” his voice low.

A quick glance back down to your hands as you turned the cuff over and there it was, an inner engraving with a simple, “Just because I love you”. A phrase that instantly triggered tears of happiness well in your eyes. 

“You love me?”

He looked at you, astonished you could say such a thing and leaned forward, “Of course, why wouldn’t I? You’re incredible in a room, you command attention, your very essence demands respect.”

You looked back down at the cuff, admiring the words shine in the sunlight, “You sure know how to charm a lady,” you teased in a deadpan voice.

Kylo leaned back in his seat, noting the hints of playful sarcasm you emanated and let out a scoff, “You’re ruthless, little one. I just told you that I love you and your first instinct is to bust my balls.” You chuckled but continued to admire your gift. He whispered your name, calling you to look in his eyes. 

“You owe me nothing, and yet here we are. You waltzed into my life and after knowing the mess I’m in with Baz you stayed in my life, she’ll never forgive either of us for as long as she lives. Not to mention my own mother. You are a strong woman and you’ve seen the absolute terror I can be and yet here you are,” he paused, running his fingers through his hair.

“There is not a damn thing in this world that I wouldn’t change or do any differently if that meant I wouldn’t have met you in that restaurant. Fuck, go on a vacation, a long one, after I sign divorce papers, we could buy a whole new apartment in New York, one that Bazine will never step foot in and that could, I don’t fucking know, be an actual home for you and I. You’ve not a single clue just how much life and love you bring with you, and just how being around you makes me feel, I just-,” he pauses again, realizing he’s ranting, “I didn’t mean to go off on some big speech but what I wanted to say was that I love you, if you’d be willing to be in this fucked up version of a relationship with me for the foreseeable future and hopefully thereafter too, then maybe we can do that whole ‘let’s spend the rest of our lives together’ bullshit I’m always hearing about.”

This was the first time you’d ever heard Kylo Ren lay bare more than he ever had, admitting his own brash reactions, a mild hint at his own insecurities, and for the briefest of moments you were breathless.

Instead of choosing words, you hastily put the cuff on and stood from your chair taking two small steps to reach his noting how anxious he looked between your eyes and the newest addition to your jewelry set. You sat on his lap, taking a moment to caress his sharp jawline, “That was a lot of words to say I love you and you want to call me your girlfriend.”

He closed his eyes and threw his head back groaning, “Why are you like this!” 

You gave him a flourish of kisses all over his face, finally letting those tears from earlier fall, “Just because I love you too.”

[azwriting]

I only just discovered your blog and love love your writing!! Are you taking only prompt based requests? I have one without if you’re up for it. Reader is a bounty hunter and Kylo Ren seeks her out to help find a special object that the First Order are looking for.

The Huntress (Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader) 

A/N: This is SOOO late. I’m sorry… finally getting around to some old requests I never finished…. hope everyone is well and staying safe!

Summary: Kylo travels to a familiar planet in search of a highly regarded bounty hunter, one who’s help he needs in more way than one. 

Warning(s): Angsty (oops I was telling you guys…), low-key kinda horny towards the end, 

Word Count: 1621

Of all the planets in the galaxy….

Kylo scoffed as he exited docking bay 94, sweat already gathering on his brow. The twin suns clung to his thick black fabric, an uncomfortable itch blooming across his skin from the sweltering heat seeping through his layers. The dry breeze whipped rough and coarse sand across the exposed skin of his face, making him regret shattering his mask all that time ago. Not only would it shield him from the dry and unforgiving air, but conceal him from the inevitable prying eyes and hide the slightest tremor of a chewed raw lip.

Swallowing roughly Kylo’s eyes fell onto the building straight ahead, silently cursing the Maker. Why here of all places? A place with such a rich history, a place he was ultimately tied to no matter how hard he tried to sever it. A part of his blood was comprised of this sand and blistering heat, it was what left him harsh and intolerable to even the people of the same descent.

His jaw involuntarily clenched and Kylo’s palms shook from the overwhelming thoughts and emotions threatening to rise to the surface. This had been a test for himself, to see if he could complete this mission without giving into the anguish inside. So far, he was failing.

The cantina was overcrowded, every available space filled with some sort of being or droid. The loud hum of conversations blurring together made his ears ring, the smell of stale malt and sweat making his face twist up in disgust. It was a familiar aroma, one he could easily find in any cantina across the stars, something he knew from the late nights as a child when he would stay up to greet the pilots of a beat up old freighter. They had always smelled like they had bathed in liquor after returning from jobs, fur especially retained the stench. Kylo’s normal scowl was now replaced by a frown of displeasure.

Kylo had to remind himself why he had come to this wretched hive before he drowned in the sea of memories, so dark eyes turned to search the crowd for what he sought after.

Against the back wall, a line of booths were filled, all except one. It was as if everyone in the cantina purposefully avoided the seemingly empty table, leaving the largest gap they could manage between them and the carved out corner. Kylo assumed it was why the already small area felt even tighter. He could only imagine one reason as to why it was left abandoned during such a swamped time. Squinting his eyes, Kylo caught the briefest movement of a shadow, and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

He was right. They were avoiding her…

His heavy boots clunked against the sandstone, gaining the attention of bystanding smugglers, spice runners, and others who were probably wanted on at least twelve systems. It was not the best company to keep, despite the high rank he now held he could still hear the scolding from his youth to be cautious. Shaking away the voices of the past, Kylo continued forward ignoring the eyes that followed and the whispers that carried across the intoxicated crowd.

Hidden in the shadows of the empty booth sat a woman, feet kicked up onto the table, and a vibrant blue drink in hand.

“Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order.” The woman spoke, her eyes never drifting away from her glass. He was not even aware that she had noticed him, but like everyone else in this small cantina she did.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), legendary bounty hunter.” As her name rolled off his lips her face lifted to peer up at him. She was younger than he expected, too young to have acquired the word “legendary” in her name, and yet … she had. A smirk overtook her features and mischief gleamed in her eyes… Kylo was not sure if he liked that.

A calloused hand rose to gesture to the empty spot across the table, the sharp smell of blaster residue trickling up and into his nose. It made him wonder if she had just been in a shoot out or if she always smelled like this.  As Kylo slid down into the bench across from her, (Y/N)’s boots dropped from the table, leaving speckles of sand and dried clumps of mud and grass. An indication that she had just returned from somewhere else…

“To what do I owe the pleasure, all mighty Supreme Leader?” Her voice rose an octave as she innocently batted her eyes at him. Kylo quirked an eyebrow up at the hunter’s antics, bewildered that she felt comfortable enough to mock him so openly… others had died for less.  

“Don’t call me that.”

A chuckle sounded from the young woman, “Why not? Aren’t I supposed to grovel at your feet?” Kylo shook his head, not enjoying this game she was playing. “Or would you prefer I called you by your real name?”

Kylo tensed at that, his real name? How did she even know it? His face must have displayed his confusion because a light scoff sounded from (Y/N)’s mouth. She was all noise and dramatic effects… an uncommon find in a highly regarded bounty hunter. “Please give me some credit,” she paused pushing her faded black sleeves up to her elbows, “There’s only one family in this galaxy that is at the frontline of all these wars.”

Kylo’s lips parted ready to argue against her claim, but he could not muster any defense. She was right. What other family had been a central part of history for the past 60 some odd years? He was not naive enough to discredit her, he was a descent of that bloodline. It was why it was so difficult to be here. He did not answer her, instead choosing to turn the conversation towards her and why he was here on this dreadful hot planet.

“Why is a bounty hunter of your talents on Tatooine? The Guild has not operated here in over three decades.”

(Y/N) narrowed her eyes, the fact that he was dismissing her question and statement entirely did not slip past her. Yet, she purposefully took the bait and allowed for the conversation to shift, she herself was curious as to why he was here. “I’m not a part of the Guild.”

“How do you find work then?”

(Y/N)’s carefree smirk once again fell onto her lips, “People will venture to the edge of the galaxy to offer me jobs, just like you.” Kylo let out a frustrated sigh still baffled by her ease. This hunter found nothing to fear in him, knowing he needed her and would not compromise getting what he wanted. She was much too smart and it was infuriating.

“If you’re looking for the Resistance I don’t know where they are. I cut ties with my few contacts awhile ago.” She exhaled, taking a sip of her drink before placing it back onto the table.

“After Hosnian?” Kylo questioned watching the shift in her demeanor. Sharp eyes sprung up and glared at him with such a fire that the Supreme Leader felt the need to straighten his posture. He leaned back carefully distancing himself from the intensity of her gaze, silently acknowledging he hit a nerve.

A forced laugh, one that was void of any humor, filled their small booth. “Someone did their research.” (Y/N) was right, he had done his research. Kylo had read the file saved from the archives of the New Republic of a girl born in poverty in the Hosnian system. “Need I remind you, the destruction your people caused.” The huntress leaned forward as he felt something cold press against his inner thigh underneath the table… a blaster.

“So I suggest you chose your next few words wisely.”

“I need your help.” His words came out a little rushed, too rushed for a man of such power.

“Clearly.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and dug her blaster a little closer, the sensation making Kylo jump. He was unsure if it was the heat from the binary suns getting to him or the overwhelming emotions inside of being in a place that used to be home to people that he wished to forget, but the thrill of it all was making him slightly turned on. He was certainly not in the right mindset.

“I’m looking for something special and I need your skillset and connections.” Kylo swallowed thickly, dark eyes searching the face of the bounty hunter who was managing to crawl her way underneath his skin. He should have been concerned about eavesdropping outlaws, not wanting them to hear what he was in search of, but he could not focus on anything else. He felt dizzy like he had been intoxicated by the wildflower of Naboo.

“What are you looking for?” The pressure against his inner thigh lightened, but the blaster still remained serving as a silent reminder.

“I’m afraid that’s classified.” (Y/N)’s mouth twitched up, her jaunty state returning, a direct result of him piquing her curiosity.

“How am I supposed to help you find it then?” She interrogated leaning closer. Her hot breath fanned across his face mixing with the cold pressed against his leg, sending shivers down his spine. 

Kylo gulped lowly, “I imagine you’re skilled enough.”

He should have been focused on the potential threats around them or how much this job was going to cost him, but he simply could not. No, all he could focus on was how enticing the huntress’ lips looked as she responded. 

“In more ways than you know.”

Taglist: 

@sporkedloser

[usagichanp]

lexthan

*rubs hands together* I was hoping someone would ask me that

This is gonna be a long one folks.

General:

Rate the Ship -  

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Life long partners, babey.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I think they had crushes on each other for a while. They didn't officially say "I love you" till a few months into their relationship, but they thought it sooner.

How was their first kiss? - I wrote a lesbian Lexthan version of their first kiss, though I don't think canon Lexthan's first kiss was like that. I imagine it to be not really planned out; just like they're talking to each other in the car and lock eyes, then slowly lean in and kiss. Since they've had kisses before, it's not a catastrophe, and it's actually fairly soft.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Ethan. Wrote a whole ass fic about it.

Who is the best man/men? - I know who the best man is in my fics (it's my man Marsh, for those who have read it), but idk about the canon Ethan's best man. Maybe Danny (the Smoke Club Boy) but I'm not sure if they'd be friends enough to be his best man. He might not have one.

Who is the bride's maid? - Hannah. Duh.

Who did the most planning? - Ethan, but Lex chipped in too. Tom might help as well if asked lol

Who stressed the most? - Ethan. Though their ceremony isn't big, he still wanted it to be a good memory down the road (it was)

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

First they had just a courthouse wedding where they signed the papers, then had a tiny wedding ceremony with only close friends. Even if they could afford a proper wedding (Canon Lexthan prolly couldn't afford it) I don't think they'd want a big affair anyways. It's be exhausting.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Lex's mom. Obviously.

Sex:

Now we're getting to the good part lads

Who is on top? - Ethan is a fucking switch. You can't convince me otherwise. He tops maybe like... 60/40 or 65/35. But when Lex tops, she tops bitch.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Ethan likes instigating things since he's a horny teenage boy, but it Lex doesn't want to, he stops. Sometimes Lex instigates, but usually when she does she's in the mood to top.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

I'd give it a 7.5, depending on the situation. While they try to tone it down around Hannah, when they have alone time they'd totally go for it. Ethan's glovebox in his car has a box of condoms in it at all times. What can I say, as I said before, they're horny teenagers

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

They don't like seeing each other hurt so they wouldn't like BDSM. They're not vanilla but nothing too crazy- blindfolding, light bondage (aka tying hands up with rope or cloth), scratching, light spanking, pegging

How long do they usually last? - It depends on how much time they have to have sex. They've done quickies in bathrooms or whatever before, but if they have all night then they're pretty good at prolonging it.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Absolutely. It is said in multiple fics (I think?) of mine that Ethan makes sure Lex has the same amount of orgasms as he does. Always.

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

They certainly can have slow, soft, romantic sex, but Ethan is also 100% capable of rocking Lex's world so hard she can't walk right for a week. (That happens in my first fic, Cassieopia, albeit off screen)

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

1) I fucking love that metaphor 2) They don't get much physical affection at home, so they fucking love snuggling and cuddling- whether it be after sex or just hanging out. Sometimes they cuddle as a form of stress relief after a shitty day.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 2, maybe 3.

How many children will they adopt? - I think they might prefer to have children naturally, but in my California series they gain custody of Hannah when she's 12. Does that count?

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Lex forces Ethan to learn how to change diapers. That being said, Lex isn't half bad at changing them either, since she helped change Hannah's when she was a child.

Who is the stricter parent? - They're not exactly strict parents, but both Lex and Ethan can definitely scold the kid. ("hAnNaH! tHaT bEtTeR bE fUcKiNg fLoSs!!!!!") That being said, both take care to not be abusive to their child, especially Lex. She doesn't want to be like her mom, so she tries to keep her temper in check.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ethan has good reflexes, and has stopped his kids from falling and hitting their chin on a playground structure more than once. (Fun fact! That happened to me when I was 3. I fell from a steel elephant shaped jungle gym at a German zoo, hit my chin on a steel bar, and bit through my lower lip/knocked 3 teeth out. I still have the scar years later lol)

Who remembers to pack their lunches? - Lex. Though the lunches aren't always the healthiest.

Who is the more loved parent? - I think they're both loved, but maaaaaybe Ethan a bit more.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Neither would attend PTA meetings out of the goodness of their hearts. If Lex or Ethan would go to a PTA meeting, it'd most likely be because they wanted to yell at a teacher or principal. They might go seperately or together depending on the severity of the issue.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Ethan wouldn't admit he cried, but he did. So did Lex.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Oh bitch, Lex and Ethan both said fuck the law. If it was just like, an overnight jail cell for some stupid misdemeanor, they might try to break their kid out. Otherwise, Lex would probably the one paying the bail because Ethan would try to punch the cop in the face if the cop talked shit about Ethan's kid. That reaction is not exclusive to cops.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Neither of them are exactly 5 star chefs, but they can hold on their own. Lex is better at cooking breakfast and Ethan is better at cooking dinner- but if he's exhuasted from work, Lex can cook dinner for him.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither are picky. Both of them grew up young scrappy and hungry just like their country without really the chance to be picky. They had to take what they could get.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Lex. She's good at calculating totals in her head. I wrote that in an unrealeased fic.

How often do they bake desserts? - Rather rarely. Perhaps on special occasions or to bond. Ethan has ruined the kitchen with his kid trying to bake a cake for Lex at least once. Maybe more.

Are they more of a meat lover or salad lover? - Meat lovers, babey. Fuck that fancy plant bullshit.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Ethan. I wrote that in the proposal fic.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Depends on what you count as "going out". Lex likes going to McDonalds, but Ethan is the one who suggests eating at actual restaurants.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Ethan, but both have had near misses.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both had fairly messy rooms as teenagers so they're not super anal about having sparkling clean rooms. That being said, when someone comes over Lex does try to tidy the place up a bit. At least enough to make it seem like they have their shit together. Ish.

Who is really against chores? - Ethan can be a bit of a lazy bones sometimes, but Lex isn't exactly a huge fan of chores either. However, she is used to doing chores since she practically raised herself and Hannah.

Who cleans up after the pets? - They take turns. Both hate it.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Ethan, because he doesn't want to incur Lex's wrath.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Lex. As I said above, she actually actively cleans the house beforehand. Not to the level of that freaking out mom from the comedy video who's name I can't remember tho.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Ethan. He has a nack for finding random bits of money. Score.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Lex, though both take relatively quick showers to save water.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They actually like doing it together. It's nice to get some fresh air, and they enjoy each other's company.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Ethan goes over the top, partially to annoy Lex. You know that Christmas tree Chris Pine vine? Yeah, Ethan would fucking do that.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Live a better life together than they did in Hatchetfield. White picket fence and California dreams shit.

Who is more likely to sleep till noon? - Ethan, but Lex is known to sleep till 3 in the afternoon if she's really tired.

Who plays the most pranks? - Ethan. That's literally canon.

I can babble about them all day lol

[pulpwriterx]

THE ONCE AND FUTURE PRINCE (Part 1)

For Reylo Week 2020. Day 6, Past, Present and Future. 

Kylo Ren is dead. But Ben Solo is in solitary confinement in a bunker built just to hold him, about to go on trial for Lord Ren’s crimes. Half the Galaxy thinks it’s an injustice to try Ben for a dead man’s crimes, but the other half wants to see Kylo Ren hang from the highest gallows. Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa have both returned with Ben from the World Between Worlds. Luke and Rey are on one side, Leia is on the other. As Ben’s trial approaches, he ponders the past, tries to endure the present and hopes there will be a future for him in spite of Kylo Ren.’

This takes place in the same AU as “The Most Dangerous Game” and is a continuation of that story. 

Ben Solo finished his push-ups, and his sit-ups, and he drank some water before doing his chin ups.’

He stretched, and did isometric exercises against the walls and then he sat on his cot.

It wasn’t that bad, really.

There were no chains, just the stun collar. And his cell, made of concrete and steel stood alone in an open concrete desert bordered by a vast green forest, in a perimeter of barbed wire and electric fences.

There was a little slot in the top that he could look through, if he stood on his cot, and a locked slot in the metal door, to shove his food through.

He liked to stand on his cot, and look through the slot, at the jailer's cottage, beyond the concrete desert, at the edge of the wood.

He also was allowed an hour of exercise outside, and every other day, the jailer would march him to the refresher stall at the other end of the perimeter, so he could keep clean.

He was not permitted a razor, so he kept his beard braided, in a long, thin braid that now reached just past his collarbone.

It wasn’t that bad, really.

When he was kept in a cell during his Sith training, he was always naked, there was no cot or pillow or sleeping bag or blankets, and the lights were always on.

There was only a toilet.

Also his wrists and ankles were manacled together and there was only thin soup and bread once a day.

In this cell, he got to wear shorts.

He had a berth to sleep on, and a desk, and he got three meals a day and books to read.

The jailer put the lights on at 9, and turned them off at midnight.

When he was in Sith training, Ben lived in a malnourished, fluorescent-lit, oatmeal-colored naked Hell of fear.

This was a whole different kind of Hell.

One that might last the rest of his life.

He hoped to either be set free, or sentenced to death.

Then again?

It wasn’t that bad, really.

Ben screamed, he roared and rushed the wall.

The collar stunned him, and he fell, unconscious, on the floor.

***

In the jailer’s cottage, a red light went off.

The jailer was not afraid of his prisoner, he felt bad for the man, for the conditions he was held under.

The red light nominally meant escape, but all it meant under current conditions was that Captain Solo had made a run at the wall so the collar would stun him, and he could have a little slice of oblivion.

He unlocked the cell and found his prisoner on the floor, unconscious and twitching, and he revived him.

“Ben? Ben, can you hear me?”

His heels were still drumming on the floor, so Commander Antilles administered the hypo.

Captain Solo returned to consciousness with a groan.

The Republic Air Command, which supported him, had promoted him from Lieutenant after the Battle of Exegol.

“Ben, you shouldn’t do that to yourself.”

“Oh, shit! The collar made me piss myself, again. I’m sorry about the mess, Commander Antilles. I’ll  clean it up.”

“You probably can’t even stand, yet I brought the mop. It’s just pee. It wipes up. But you have to stop activating the stun collar. It’s not good for your body. It might kill you.”

“When, Wedge? When?”

***

“What happened? Did he try to escape, again?”

“Leia, I can’t do this. I remember when me and Luke used to take him to the park to fly his model X-Wing! You should come here, and shove his meals in a slot in a Beskar steel and concrete door! Talk to him through a tiny slot in the wall of the bunker you put him in, while he stands on a chair! You should have to run in and revive him after he runs, screaming at the wall so the collar stuns him! Find Ben lying there, twitching, in a puddle of pee!”

“Wedge, do you think I want to keep Ben confined like this? He broke out of four jails and put 15 men in the hospital! One of our Generals told me, regretfully, that we should just have him put down! Put down! Like a sick old tooka cat! He did this to himself! This is the very best I can do for Ben, right now!”

“I know. But it’s not easy.”

“Sometimes, Wedge? I’d like to just land at night in the Falcon, and say goodbye to him and tell him to listen to Chewie and be good to Rey and talk to me once in awhile and let him go.”

“He just got a letter from Rey. And one from Luke. I’ll take it to him, and slip it under the door with his dinner. See if you can get him some visits with her. Or maybe just get the regulations relaxed so that I can bring him his meals in person.”

“We’ll see.”

*** Dear Ben,

I’m back on Tattoine again. I’m in Anchorhead, to give another rousing speech for the Justice For Ben Solo movement. I’d say public opinion is about 60-40 at this point. The good news is, 60 in your favor. The bad news is, the other 40 percent still want to see you hang from the highest tree. I just about have the Tribunal ready to let you wear clothes, so I’ve sent you a box of coveralls. Republic regulation overalls that say “Captain Solo” on them, just to remind people of who you really are. And you hated it when I made you finish at the Republic Academy; even if I did try and cut your head off, Crazy Old Uncle Luke was right, sometimes. I’m still behind you a hundred percent, Ben, and so is your Uncle Chewie. He sent you a tin of Wookiee cookies. Also in the package is a rug for your floor that Rey made from the rags of old Resistance uniforms that Leia wanted to throw out. Wedge told me that you’re beginning to despair. There’s no reason for despair, Ben. I’m sure I was sent back from the World Between Worlds for your sake, and you were not sent back to rot in a cell for the rest of your life. Even if you are sentenced to life, or a long term, I will never stop fighting for you, and against the injustice that you should be punished for a dead man’s crimes. I have convinced the Tribunal to let you appear at your hearing from your cell, but I’m hoping it won’t be the prison that you are in.

Stay strong, Ben. May the Force Be With You Crazy Uncle Luke.

***

Dear Ben, Chewie and I just got your new pilot’s pants with the red Corellian bloodstripe down the leg, and a certificate from Han’s home planet that they were awarded to you by the Corellian Parliament. Hopefully, you can wear them at your trial. Commander Antillies said he didn’t care if it was against regulations, he’s letting you have the rug that I made you. I used my old arm wraps to make the pattern so that you would have something of me in your cell. I’m on D’Qar, still, and I’d say it’s about 70-30 for you, here, and the 30 percent who think you should go to prison aren’t for a life sentence. The Resistance understands what you sacrificed, and what you did for us. By all your savage gods, Ben, I miss you so much. I used to be ashamed of what we almost did in Snoke’s Throne Room, and I always felt guilty that you and I would meet at the Skywalker Farm, but now I’m glad we did. Do you remember , during my training, when you told me that in a totalitarian state, sex is an act of rebellion and love is revolution? I never knew what you were talking about until they carried you out of the Infirmary on a stretcher to throw you in jail. I’m proud that we were lovers. I wish we could be, again, and not for political reasons. I’m so lonely for you, Ben. I’m still sleeping in your tunic from the Battle of Exegol; I’ve had to wash it, but it still smells faintly like you, and I snuggle it close to my body at night, wishing I could snuggle up close to you. I even miss the fights that we used to have through our bond; I keep trying to find a way to reach you through the Force-disrupting field they have around you. I suppose I should write something really dirty to you, like the things I get embarrassed about that I yell while you make love to me, but I can’t think of things like that unless I’m in the moment with you. Chewie and I have decided, if you get life, or anything more than 5 to ten years with a chance for parole? We’re breaking you out of jail and going on the run. Nobody on Tattoine or Arkanis will ever give you up; and like you always tell me? You’re a Skywalker, the stars belong to you. Don’t forget that, Ben. Or that I love you so much. 

All my love, Little Rebel Girl.

On-board the Finalizer; Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s Flagship

It was a short walk to Lord Ren’s private exercise room, but they ran into General Pryde along the way.

He and Ben had a brief exchange and then they were on their way.

Rey waited until Ben had activated all the security locks.

“Is this private?”

“Yes. Ask your question.”

“Why does General Pryde make my skin crawl.”

“Because he’s an evil man. The only reason I have let him live is because I want him to live just long enough to see me destroy his life’s work.”

“That’s cruel, Ben. And you let him think that he’s, well, like a mentor to you. And you’re not a cruel man. Why?”

“Because he’s the most evil man I have ever known. General Pryde was the Chief Officer in charge of Snoke’s Detention block on his ship. He also organized the training for Force-sensitive First Order officers. Better known as Sith Training. It was more like torture. He had the trainees locked up in worse conditions than the prisoners. He made us fight to the death. His trainers were all former Imperial officers who were entirely depraved men. These are men who were in the detention blocks of Star Destroyers scheduled for execution by my grandfather when they were rescued by the end of the war. Pryde was one of them. They enjoyed subjecting us to beatings. Torture. Humiliation. Some of my fellow trainees, men and women, were systematically raped, to break their spirits.”

Rey was shocked.

She remembered General Organa-Solo telling her that even the people who were confederatesof the Sith and the Dark Side were drawn to its evil, because they were themselves evil.

But she hadn’t thought in terms of rapists.

Or sadists.

Or killers.

“That policy ended with me. Now that I am Supreme Leader, there is no torture. No corporal punishment. Rape, by anyone, in any form, on anyone else? On this ship, or off? It’s a capital crime. Off with your head. Execution by lightsaber.” Ben stood up, and ignited his weapon.

“This lightsaber. Alright, Rey.  Enough talk. Let’s pick up where we left off the last time.”

“You mean, in the woods?”

“I do. I owe you a dueling scar. But I won’t put it on your face. Maybe on your shoulder.”

Rey jumped back.

“Wait! Don’t we wear blast vests, or something?”

“No. What’s that going to teach you? No more talk. Defend yourself.”

Ben swung at her and Rey blocked him.

He saw the fear in her face change to anger and resolve.

Too much anger.

“Do you know why you beat me, in the woods, and gave me this scar, Rebel Girl?”

“Because I’m good.” Rey snarled.

Rey battled him back, as easily as she had before.

“Yes. You have balls, and some skill. And you are strong in the Force.”

They were at crossed sabers, but when Rey raised a fist to knock Kylo away, he blocked her punch, made some fast move to get away from her, swung around, kicked the lightsaber out of her hand and stopped his swing less than an inch away from her throat.

Fear returned to her eyes, but also a stubborn defiance.

“But you won because I didn’t expect you to have any skill. And because I was tired, angry, and emotionally desolate over what Snoke made me do. But I’ve won fights in worse shape, and with better opponents. You won because I didn’t want to hurt you. No one else you cross sabers with will have any such compunctions.”

Rey’s breath was short.

She could feel the heat of his lightsaber on her throat, but she refused to ask him to move away, or retract his blade.

Ben sensed mortal terror instinctively rising in Rey, and her struggle to keep it at bay.

That was too much.

He shut his lightsaber down.

She was trying not to shake with relief.

“Breathe, Rey. Breathe deeply. Listen to the sound of your teacher’s voice, and understand that I mean you no harm. Search your feelings. You know that what I am saying is true. This was a lesson. To teach you about just how much you do not know. And to show you that you’ll pay a high price for anger and arrogance, in combat. But you were never in danger. During some of our lessons, you may feel like you are in danger. But you’re not. And it’s not just because you are precious to me and I would never hurt you. I have absolute control over my lightsaber. It’s like an extension of my body. My lightsaber is my arm, my shield, my flesh made fire. I use it to create what I wish and destroy what I will. I want you to sit in this room, in the dark, with your lightsaber ignited in front of you. Do this until I return, and meditate on that concept. Remember my words.”

Rey meditated on Ben’s words, the concept he was teaching her, and on her own actions.

She eventually called to mind the image of Ben striking down General Pryde, amid fire and explosions ten times what she had seen on Snoke’s ship.

And she called to mind him at crossed sabers with her, telling her that she needed a teacher, when he could have effortlessly stuffed out her life.

She thought about him lying in the snow, wounded and bleeding.

He could have called his lightsaber to his hand and struck her down.

But he stayed his hand.

One man.

One lightsaber.

Two sets of actions.

One Light, and one Dark.

And the struggle, in the dark, with her lightsaber in front of her, to find the balance of the two within herself.

She was beginning to understand.

***

In that first week, Ben taught her the basics of swordsmanship, and after their practice, she did her lightsaber meditation for an hour.

She was surprised at the subject matter for the second week.

Fighting, and target shooting with a blaster.

Rey had thought herself pretty good with both, and she was better than at the lightsaber, but Ben, of course, beat her, effortlessly.

Then he explained to her why she had lost, how he had beaten her, and taught her a targeting meditation and an anger meditation.

You never win a fight, he explained, when you lash out in anger, and even in a fire-fight, you always have time to carefully draw, take aim, and fire.

“If I taught the troopers to shoot, instead of instructors like Mad Dog Hux? They’d be a lot better at it.”

The rest of the week he showed her how to fight and how to shoot.

Rey thought she saw a pattern in Ben’s training until he had them both dropped off in the wastes of Tattoine, with him dressed only in a pair of short exercise shorts, and her in a pair of those and an exercise breastband.

That, and desert boots.

They had no sun protection, no hats, and one canteen between them.

The midday suns blazed overhead, already roasting them.

“This is crazy! We’ll die out here.”

“No, we won’t. You’re a desert rat, and this is my Uncle’s home planet. My father’s business was based on this planet. We’ve both used to the desert. And there’s a moisture farm about ten miles from here. All we have to do is get there alive.”

“And we have no sun protection.”

“No.”

Rey took the shorts off, and squatted on the ground to make some mud.

She put her shorts back on and started slathering the mud on her exposed skin.

“This is really going to be a nasty, stinky day.”

Her teacher actually laughed as he pissed in the sand.

“Could be worse. We could be so dry that we had to look for a pool of Bantha pee. That really stinks.”

*** This test, of course, was about endurance, Rey thought.

But, when they finally made it to the moisture farm, Rey wanted to scream.

The place was clearly abandoned, and it looked like it had been for at least ten years.

Rey hardly noticed that other than windblown sand, the courtyard was clean.

Ben pressed his thumb against where there should have been a lock on the doorknob of the blighted main door, and then he turned it.

“We’re home.” He told her.

Rey walked into a beautiful place, all in browns and greens and cream.

It was cool, and smelled fresh, and as she walked from room to room, lights came on.

You couldn’t even hear the cooling unit working.

And it was very comfortable in the rooms; Ben must have started it from the ship, before they got off.

Unlike Ben’s rooms on the Star Destroyer, this place looked like somebody lived here.

“Rey?”

Ben was still in the doorway.

“This place is beautiful? Is this your home?”

“Yes. The old family homestead. You’re getting pee mud, everywhere.”

“Oh gods, Ben, I’m sorry!”

“It’s OK. I’ll have BB-9E clean it up. He must be around here, somewhere, because the cooling unit is on. There’s a hose behind the shed out back. We’ll get hosed down, and come back and take a long bath. Then you can look around.”

Ben looked around the door.

“Niner? Where are you?”

Rey heard an angry bleep.

“I’m sorry for him, in advance. I built him from junk when I was a teenager, and Artoo helped me repurpose a partly fried personality chip. Niner’s like me. He has moods.”

“Is this the same droid that ratted BB-8 out?”

“Niner didn’t know you, then. He’s my droid, Rey. Why wouldn’t he be loyal to me. Well, mostly. NINER!”

The black and silver astromech droid rolled over to Rey, bleeped, rolled away, and she heard rummaging from the kitchen.

He rolled back, and his head twirled around, and he opened one of his ports and a little hose came out.

He started squirting water all over Rey, and the floor.

“Niner! Stop! Don’t you squirt water on me, I’ll take out your cleaning circuit. I meant to clean the floor.”

Niner chirped, excitedly.

“Yes, I know we are both also a mess. Just clean the floor. Come on, Rey. He’s like a big, stupid dog. He pissed on you because he was excited to meet you.”

It sounded like Niner was bleeping an obscene retort at Ben as they went back outside.

***

It was, of course, the old Lars-Skywalker Farm, and it was Ben’s home.

The neighbors knew him as Ben Skywalker, a starpilot, and the grandson of Ani Skywalker, local lad made good, who was also a starpilot.

In the tunnels beneath the house, in the tanks where the Lars family had stored water, only one tank had Ben’s water supply.

The rest were filled with money, supplies, and a smuggler’s bounty.

He even had one tank that was a walk-in freezer, full of meat and frozen food.

One of the other locked tanks was a locked vault.

“That’s where I keep my money. I could hide out here for five years, if I needed to. Maybe more. The door is also coded for your fingerprint. This is your home now, too, Rey. I’m sorry I didn’t carry you over the threshold, but you smelled like piss.”

Rey laughed.

“Ben, you can’t. I’ve done nothing to deserve this?”

“You gave me a month to show you that I am not a monster. To begin your training. You know. Among other things.”

Rey felt herself blushing.

“You’re so cute when you pretend to be a prude. But I know better, don’t I? We’ll get to the tour of the bedroom, don’t you worry. And before you ask? All the plates and cups and utensils and so on are made of wood or stone because I’m a wild man. When I get angry, or when I brood and I feel said and that makes me angry? I love to throw things. And there’s only a mirror in the bedroom and the bathroom because I’m also a mirror puncher. They’re made of unbreakable glass. So are the windows. Because I also like to punch windows, and throw things through them. And this is the bedroom. Just like on the ship, this door leads to your bedroom. Only your fingerprint locks and unlocks it. If I’m having an episode, just lock yourself in this room and wait.”

“Is that why you have extra furniture in your stash.”

“Yes. But if you hear me in here, breaking things? Or in my office?  Set your blaster to stun and shoot me. I’m not kidding. I never trash my office or my bedroom, but I can’t afford to destroy things, in here. And when I go into Wild Man mode? I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Ben also explained to her that if he was in Brooding Mystic Spoiled Brat mode, she should let him alone to brood in his office.

Or outside.

Unless she wanted to participate.

That was usually the mood accompanied by a whole jug of Huttese whiskey.

“Do you have other moods?”

“Yeah. My usual normal. Weird Cocky Goofy Idiot. And your favorite. Sexual Death Star.”

“I wouldn’t say you were normally a weird cocky goofy idiot. You’re so mean to yourself.”

“No. Just honest. It’s been a long day. I think I’d like to lie down and take a long nap? You can retire to your room, or you can try out my bed.”

“I’m tired, Ben. I’ve been walking in the desert all day. And if you think that all you have to do to get me interested, after the day you’ve put me through is lie there, naked, on your bed and look at me like that? You’re absolutely right. I am going to make you pay, you Sith bastard, for that desert march!”

“Talk is cheap, Rebel Girl.”

*** They stayed at the Skywalker Farm for the next two weeks, and then Ben returned Rey to Ahch-To.

Master Luke was waiting for them.

Ben was lugging a large crate with him.

“What’s that, Benjamin?”

Ben pointed his finger in his Uncle’s face.

“Don’t call me Benjamin! You’re a crazy old man, and I feel sorry for you, that’s what! So there’s a Wilderness Survival Pod in here for you along with the Wilderness Survival Tent for Rey. And also?”

He made another trip back to Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter, and returned with a small black canvas bag, with mesh panels on the end.

“My tooka had kittens. You shouldn’t be alone out here.”

Ben carefully handed his shocked Uncle the canvas bag.

“Bye Bye, little Ani. I want you to look after Crazy Old Skywalker. He needs a friend.”

“If he can’t take care of that kitten, Rey, you take Ani back to the base with you.”

“I will, Ben. Try not to get killed before I see you, again.”

“Hey, I killed Snoke, right? How hard can killing all his minions and toadies be? It’s not like I don’t know how the Sith operate.”

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren got into his TIE Fighter and flew away.

Rey turned to Master Luke, who had taken the little kitten out of the little carrier.

“He has a tiny little collar with his name on it. And his claws have been clipped.”

“Ben’s cat just had ten kittens. His and Hux’s quarters are full of tookas. I don’t think he has time to take care of them all, or room for them, so he has to give some of them away. It’s very sad.”

That was not what Luke meant.

He cradled the little cat, and Rey finally saw him smile.

“You know what this little fuzzball is, Rey? Hope. Let’s open these crates and put these tents together, and get this little guy back in his carrier, until we figure this out.”

[babbushka]

Last Straw (1/12) - The Beginning

Newly married to your high school sweetheart Kylo Ren, the two of you move into Skywalker Ranch, a farm recently passed down after the death of Kylo’s grandfather. The place is charming, and the people seem friendly…but are they?

Content Warnings:  Mentions of family death, allusions to violence, but mostly fluff. It is only the first chapter after-all!

                                                    ---------------

It’s a long drive, through the mountains. It’s been a long drive, the past few days. But though it’s been long, it’s growing to a close, and with each mile that you get under your belt, each mile closer to Sweetwater County, the excitement and anticipation grows. Kylo drives the brand new ‘62 F150, a wedding gift from your folks, and with the windows rolled down as the wind blows through your hair, you enjoy the trip.

You try, try your damnedest to stay in high spirits, high enough for the both of you. Kylo’s grandfather’s passing hadn’t been sudden, hadn’t even been unexpected, but well.

It was still hard.

Moving out from the city to live on the ranch, a fifteen-hundred-acre chunk of land, the very same land which Kylo had the happiest moments of his childhood, was hard.

But cancer was harder.

Still, it was his, the ranch. Left to him by his grandpa, the only thing he had left to give to anyone. Kylo hadn’t wanted it to just get sold to the state, so on the trip you went. You packed up everything you owned from your small apartment in the city, hopped in the truck, and headed for the countryside.

It’s scenic, so scenic, on all sides of you – the winding road offering a panoramic view of the rich golden brown earth that surrounds you. The air is so much cleaner here, so much more crisp in the late fall. The trees have all gone red and yellow, a couple leaves hitting your hand as it hangs out the window. Kylo has the radio turned all the way up, and for the first time in a long time, he sings along. He scowls through the lyrics of the old crackling tunes from a bygone era that come from the radio.

They’re nostalgic songs, the old slow sad country type, and maybe that’s why he sings along. Maybe he sings along because he can’t live inside his own head much longer, can’t stay silent much longer. You’re not sure. But whatever the reason, you don’t interrupt him, not for a long while, not until the sun begins to dip beyond the mountains and you emerge from the wood, not until you cut through the golden fields via a dirt road, a big wrought iron gate locked shut before you.

Kylo puts the car into park, turns it off. On the ring he twirls around his finger is an old key, and you stick your head out of the truck’s window to watch him walk away.

“Are we here?” You ask, not sure if this is just someone else’s land that you need to cut through, a secret shortcut he knows about.

Kylo opens the gate, opens it wide, the hinges creaking and groaning, rusted from disuse. His leather boots crunch on the earth below his feet as he makes his way back to you in the truck, kisses you square on the lips through the window with a wistful smile.

“Edge of the property. Everything that stretches until the mountains is ours.” He points as he speaks so softly. Your husband’s always been a quiet man, an explosion of emotion simmering just beneath the surface.

“You okay?” You ask, because you know this, as you cup his scarred cheek, give him a sad smile of your own.

The death has been hard on him, hardest on him than anyone else in the family. Kylo had been the only one to really care for his grandpa, towards the end. His senator mother and sister wanted nothing to do with him, felt he was too bad for her campaign image; his uncle was too busy working at the university, too busy teaching to spend more than a day with him. So Kylo went, visited four times a week, took him any and everywhere he wanted.

Until he couldn’t anymore, the old man too ill to leave his bed.

“Yeah. Just…” Kylo sighs, kisses your palm before stepping away, rounding the truck to start the engine just long enough to bring you onto the property, before jumping back out and locking it once again. When he’s back, he sighs, stares out at the expanse of land before you both, and sighs again. “Just a lot of memories, is all.”

You nod, strike up a match and light a cigarette, handing it to him. He accepts it gratefully, and he drives the truck down the road some more, down the fields some more.

“He would be proud that you’re taking over, keeping those memories alive, you know?” You say, trying to be encouraging, and he chuckles just a little, more of a self-deprecating laugh than anything, and you know what he’s thinking.

It’d be the first time anyone in his family is proud of him, for anything.

He doesn’t say it, but he doesn’t have to. You’ve known him long enough.

“If I remember it right, the house should just be up over this way.” He says instead, and you scoot across the bench seat enough to rest your head on his shoulder, smiling at the sight of it all.

You had thought you had an idea of what fifteen-hundred acres was, but really, this was much bigger than anything you could have imagined, so much different when you looked at it on Google Maps. As you pass by the fields and fields of tall grasses in desperate need of a cut, you can only picture the transformation, can only picture how it might once have been. The cattle grazing, horses galloping, sheep baaing. It really feels like the wild west out here, as the farmhouse comes into view.

The house itself is huge, and you can’t help but grow giddy at the sight of all the windows, all the rooms. The apartment you had shared in the city was only a one-bedroom, but it looked as though there were at least two stories here, maybe even an attic.

It looks old, but there’s a certain charm to that, you find. The whole house is made of wood, long strips that have been nailed together, painted white once upon a time. The roof is wood shingles, these too painted, but in a dusty rusty red. You wonder if that’s just from age, if they were once bright as a firetruck. You can picture it, you think.

The house greets you with a beautiful front porch, above it is a large protruding bay window that you think will be a perfect place to sit and read or write. It needs work though; the windows are broken, whether from vandalism or force of nature you couldn’t know. The paint is stripped and the wood is weathered, there are shingles missing, and the landscaping has grown unruly, out of control. If there weren’t such a beautiful sunset casting a deep orange and pink glow across the farm, you thought it might have looked creepy, some old haunted thing untouched by time.

“How long has it been since someone lived here?” You ask, curious.

“Shit,” Kylo whistles, when he pulls the truck to a stop for the final time of the evening, when he comes round the cab to open your door, offer you a hand to step down. You stretch your legs with a big grin, it had been three hours since the last time you’d had a break from being on the road. “I don’t know, just about fifteen years?”

You whistle too, and Kylo smiles at you fondly, wraps an arm around your shoulder as he pulls you close to his side, kisses the top of your head. He’s so tall, you think, you have always thought.

“Oh good, there’s electricity then.” You tease, grabbing your suitcases from the bed of the truck, which he immediately takes from you so you don’t have to carry them.

“I don’t know, the house was built around the turn of the century, there very well may not be, not all the way out here.” He says, and you stop in your tracks, “I’m kidding – of course grandpa had electricity. Grandma wouldn’t have let him get away with that.” He laughs, trying his best to stay in good spirits.

You can tell though, all he wants to do is cry, can tell by the wetness in his eyes.

He turns away from you though, hides the grief for now, and goes into the house. You follow, not bothering to lock the truck, because honestly, you didn’t expect there to be another person for half an hour at least.

When you cross the threshold onto the creaking floorboards, you’re surprised to find it fully furnished. It’s old furnishings definitely, definitely from around the fifties or sixties, but you don’t hate it – in fact you think of how jealous your city friends would be, the mid-century-mod look so in fashion.

No wonder Kylo loved the place so much, he definitely had a penchant for the 60s. The golden age, he always called it, of real social and political change, of real optimism. You wondered if he was optimistic now.

“Come check the place out with me?” You ask, reaching out a hand for him to take as he puts down the suitcases.

He rushes to hold your hand, always so eager to be near you, and you smile.

“Here, watch your step.” He says, leading you down the hallway, running his hand along the faded and torn wallpaper. “Fuck, it’s a lot more run down that I remember.”

“That tends to happen when a place is abandoned.” You reply honestly, and Kylo’s shoulders begin to shake. You can’t imagine the sort of shock he must be going through, and you waste little time in holding him close, hugging him so tight. “Hey, Kylo, look at me? It’s going to be okay. It just needs a little a work that’s all.” You reassure, and he nods, but tears slip down his nose anyway.

You think about this hall, how there’s spots on the wall where photos once hung. You think about the wallpaper, and how bright it must have been, how Kylo must have trailed his hand along it when he was a boy, a boy playing cowboy with his grandpa, baking pies in the kitchen with his grandma.

“Can we just go to bed? I’m exhausted.” He asks, voice barely above a whisper, and you hug him again, give a soft kiss to his cheek where the salt from his tears are beginning to stain.

“Of course honey, of course.” You agree, you’re exhausted too. Something about traveling always tires you out, you don’t know why.

The bedroom itself is huge, almost as big as the living room, or at least it feels like it with all the windows. There’s that great bay window you had seen out front, and you grow a little excited at the thought that such a beautiful feature is in the bedroom, it makes the whole place feel a little more elegant. There are delicate white curtains, or well, maybe they were once white, now faded and yellowed just a little bit from the weather. You run the scalloped lace edge between your fingers, and hope that a good washing and a bleach is all it needs.

You wish that a good washing and a bleach is all the house needs, but nowhere is it more evident than in the bedroom that this place is a serious fixer-upper. There are panels loose, wiring exposed, rusty nails jutting out from the walls. Big stains in the ceiling suggest water damage, and warped flooring only confirms your suspicion.

After you and Kylo make the bed with fresh clean sheets and have replaced the pillows with ones you brought from your old apartment, you both lay in bed, facing one another, eyes shining from the light of the moon. It is so much quieter, out here in the country, and the two of you can’t help but smile against the sounds.

It’s windy at night, something you didn’t really expect – had it been windy in the city? Maybe it had but you just couldn’t tell, the noise of it covered by the ever present rumble of traffic. The insects are so loud, so loud it’s almost deafening, and every now and again there is the hoot of an owl.

Neither of you can sleep, and this for some reason is the funniest thing, both of you giggling like teenagers, like the very first time you spent the night at his house, way back in eleventh grade. It feels like a beginning, some grand new adventure, one that’s so outside the box of anything anyone could have imagined for you – that you could have imagined for yourselves.

Kylo pulls you close, tucks your face under his chin and kisses the top of your head. He’s all out of tears for the moment, and you count his breathing until it slows to an even rhythm, letting your own eyes slip closed as you sleep for the first time in your new house, on your new farm, in your new life.

If falling asleep to the sound of nature was weird, waking up to it was even weirder. You almost felt like you were on vacation, had stolen away some time to be able to appreciate the quiet, but now that all you had was quiet, it was a disorienting sensation. You have no alarm, your phone battery dead from accidentally forgetting to plug it in, so when you wake it’s to the sun already high in the sky, though despite that, it’s freezing from being so late in October.

Kylo is out of bed, his side empty when you blink your eyes against the brightness of the day, and you follow the smell of coffee to find him standing in his boots and blue jeans, looking all too much like the corn fed farm boy you knew and loved. You wondered if he would get a hat, one with a big curled brim, the same shade of brown as his boots.

You shuffle into the kitchen, find that the floor has already been swept away, presumably by Kylo while you were still sleeping. He opens his arms to you immediately, kisses you despite your sleep-sour breath, and pushes a hot mug into your freezing fingers.

“Did you sleep okay?” You ask, stealing a kiss once more, and then another one and another one, until he’s smiling at you, pouring cereal into a bowl.

“No, but it’s fine,” He says, and you sigh sympathetically, because you both know it really isn’t. He pulls out a chair for you at the small kitchen table, and you sit side by side. “You know, I was thinking, since you’re busy working on your writing, maybe I could put an ad out in the paper for some help.” He says, and you look up at him with a playful brow raised.

“The paper?” You ask, and he shrugs, a smile into his mug. No one reads the paper anymore, not in such an age of digital and technological advancements. You weren’t even sure the last time you saw a newspaper was, let alone looked for an ad in one.

“The farmers have a community newsletter type thing. I remember reading the cartoons in the Sunday edition, but there were always personal ads. People looking for help with cattle, with produce, I’m sure I could put out one asking for handy-work.” Kylo explains, and you hum to yourself while you think.

On the one hand, it would be a great opportunity to meet some new people. You weren’t entirely sure if such an opportunity would come often to you, living way out here. If the newsletter was still up and running, what harm was there in putting out an ad?

But on the other hand, you think as you tap your nails against the mug, it could be a really wonderful bonding experience for you and your husband. You weren’t the most handy person in the world, but you figure, if you’re going to live on a ranch, what better time to learn than now?

(If you agree to put out an ad, click here) (If you decide to help Kylo yourself, click here)

[razorblade180]

Melody of the Heart 2

Everyone: The category is love!!!?

Jaune and Ren: That shouldn’t be too hard.

Adam and Mercury:We’re screwed......

Tai:......*looks at Raven and Summer* oh boy....

*Yang, Sun, and Ilia smile at Blake*

Blake:*red*(Why?)

CFVY:*thinking intently*

Ruby:So.....how do we know who goes fi- *embers swirls around her*

Ozma:The fire picked you.

Ruby:What!? So soon!? A love song!?

Penny:Good luck!

Ruby:Wait wait wait wait wait!!! Shouldn’t the person who knows how this place works go first? Seems a little unfair to throw people into this so recklessly.

Roman:*shouts* You’re just scared!

Ruby:Do you want to go first!!!?

Roman:.....fair point.

Ozma:I’ll gladly go first if it makes you all feel better. *steps in front of the fire* Alrighty then, flame who do I have to sing to?

*embers circle around Salem as words form above her head*

“Drag her and impress the audience”

Yang:Damn, evil ex right from the start.

Ozma:*appears as his first reincarnation* Might as well fully comment to the part. Now what to sing.....

Salem:Gods I hate this place. *glares*

Penny:You can be rude in a love song?

Weiss:Honestly most love songs are rude if you ask me. I wonder how this will turn out.

*everyone is silent as Ozma’s magic makes the instruments play themselves*

Cardin:That’s cheating.....

Salem:Everyone will have this option, so don’t worry about it. It would be hard to get a bunch of you to help in every performance.

Salem:*glaring*.....

Ozma:*takes a deep breath* Here goes nothing...

Ozma:🎶 Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live. Oh take, take, take it all but you never give.....

Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss. Had your eyes wide open; why were they open?🎶

RWBY:*shook* Daaaammmmnnnn! (/0.0)/

Ozma:🎶Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash. You tossed it in the trash, you did...🎶

*embers flow around Tai and Adam as they try not to sing*

Ozma:🎶To give me all your love is all I ever ask cause what you don't understand is- I'd catch a grenade for ya!!! (yeah yeah yeah) 🎶

🎶Throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

🎶I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

🎶You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

OAT🎶 Oh whoa oh~🎶

Ozma:🎶I would go through all this pain. Take a bullet straight through my brain!!! Yes I would die for you baby........🎶 *points at her*

🎶But you won't do the same!!!!🎶 *music intensifying*

Velvet:*whispers* Do we know these people?

Coco:Shhh, I’m watching the drama unfold.

Tai and Adam:Why are we singing!?

Salem:Apparently some part of you empathize with his song and compels you to sing along. Just go along with it; you all sound great!

Ozma:🎶No no no no. Black, black, black and blue; beat me til I'm numb. Tell the devil I said hey when you get back to where you're from.🎶

Salem:*glares*

Ozma: *smirks* 🎶Mad woman, bad woman that's just what you are. Yeah you'll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car.🎶

OA:🎶Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash. You tossed it in the trash, you did!🎶

OT:🎶To give me all your love is all I ever ask. 'Cause what you don't understand is.....🎶

Ozma:🎶I'd catch a grenade for ya🎶 (yeah yeah yeah)

Tai:Throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah yeah yeah)

Adam: 🎶I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

Ozma:🎶You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

🎶Oh whoa oh🎶

Ozma:🎶I would go through all this pain; take a bullet straight through my brain... *tears up*Yes I would die for you baby....🎶

🎶But you won't do the same....🎶

Tai and Adam:🎶Ooooooooohhhhhhh🎶

Ozma: If my body was on fire *glares* Ooh you'd watch me burn down in flames.

Salem:(Shit.....)

Ozma:🎶You said you love me, you're a liar 'cause you never ever, EVER did baby🎶 *crying*

Salem:*refusing to look at him*......

Ozma:...... *grits teeth*

Ozma:🎶But darling I'd still catch a grenade for ya!!!! (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

🎶Throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

🎶I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

🎶You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah yeah yeah)🎶

Ozma:🎶Oh whoa oh I would go through all this pain heh......🎶

Ozma: 🎶TAKE A BULLET STRAIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN!!!!!🎶

Coco:Yes! Drag her!!!👏

Ozma:🎶Yes I would die for you, baby.....

But you won't do the same. No, you won’t do the same. You wouldn’t do the same....... Ooo you’d never do the same.🎶 *wipes his eyes*

🎶Oh no no noooowooooh....🎶

*embers fly back into the flames, glowing brighter than ever*

Everyone:*shock and awe*......

Roman:Well damn.....got my approval.

Coco:Agreed!!!!!

*many approvals around the circle. Actually, a majority of them.....*

Ozma:*takes his seat and goes back to normal* That a good example for you Ruby?

Ruby:How am I supposed to that!? How can anyone top that!!!?

Ozma:As long as you give it your all then everyone here will do well. Also get help from unsuspecting friends and foes.

Raven:Tai was that towards me wasn’t it?

Tai:I have no idea what you’re talking about. *turning away* just felt like singing.

Blake:*looking at Adam*......

Adam:*watching the waves* don’t read too much into it.

Blake:Whatever you say tough guy.

*embers fly towards Ruby again*

Ruby:Sigh, guess I gotta go now. *walks to the flame* lay it on me bonefire! Who’s getting me to sing?

“Convince others to help you serenade Weiss Schnee and when her approval.”

Weiss:......whaaaaaaa?

Ruby:Well then......wasn’t expecting that. *grabs guitar* Magic, can I get you on drums and play that song? I got a feeling you can read my mind.

Ozma:It totally can *immediately starts playing*

Ruby:*starts playing guitar* (Wow, you really can play anything here)

Weiss:Ruby I sort of have an ear for music so don’t feel bad if-

Ruby: 🎶Ooh girl you're shining; like a 5th avenue diamond!

And they don't make you like they used to. You're never going out of style!🎶

Weiss:*Blushing* What!?

Ruby: *smirking* 🎶Ooh pretty baby, this world might have gone crazy.

The way you saved me, who could blame me when I just wanna make you smile?🎶

🎶I wanna thrill you like Michael... *swaying her hips* 🎶

🎶I wanna kiss you like Prince....🎶*winks*

🎶Let's get it on like Marvin Gaye, like Hathaway Write a song for you like this.🎶 *points*

Ruby:🎶You're over my head; I'm out of my mind!Thinking I was born in the wrong time. One of a kind, living in a world gone plastic. Baby you're so classic!🎶

Weiss:*can’t think fast enough*.....

Jaune:*looks at Neptune* 😏

Neptune:😏

Ruby:🎶Baby you're so classic. Baby you,baby you're so classic!

Four dozen of roses; anything for you to notice! All the way to serenade you. Doing it Sinatra style.🎶

Jaune and Neptune: 🎶Ima pick you up in a Cadillac. Like a gentleman bringin' glamor back. Keep it real to real in the way I feel; I could walk you down the aisle!🎶 *rushes to Ruby*

Jaune: I wanna thrill you like Michael *sways hips*

_NPR: Go Jaune!!!

Neptune:I wanna kiss you like Prince *winks*

Sun and Ilia: Kill it Neptune!!!!

Ruby: 🎶Let's get it on like Marvin Gaye; like Hathaway Write a song for you like this!🎶

Yang and Blake: Woooo! Ruby!

RJN: 🎶You're over my head; I'm out of my mind!Thinking I was born in the wrong time

Let's start the rewind, everything is so throwback age!🎶 (I kinda like it like it)

Jaune:🎶Out of my league,old school chic. Like a movie star from the silver screen.🎶

Ruby:🎶One of a kind living in a world gone plastic. Baby you're so classic. *grinning* Baby you're so classic. *heroes clap to the beat* Baby you're so classic!🎶

Neptune: Baby you're class and baby you're sick. I never met a girl like you ever til we met! A star in the 40's, centerfold in the 50's; got me tripping out like the 60’s

Hippies Queen of the discotheque. A 70's dream and an 80's best. Hepburn, Beyoncé, Marilyn Manson. Girl you're timeless, just so classic!

Weiss:*atomic blush*!!!!!!

RJN:🎶You're over my head; I'm out of my mind! Thinking I was born in the wrong time!

Let's start the rewind, everything is so throwback age🎶 (I kinda like it like it)

Jaune:🎶Out of my league, old school chic. Like a movie star from the silver screen🎶

Ruby:You're one of a kind living in a world gone plastic. Baby you're so classic. Baby you're so classic🎶

*dashes to Weiss and puts her in the middle*

RJN:🎶Baby you're so classic!!!!🎶

*embers fly away*

Ruby:*sweating* So......how was that?

Weiss:........

Weiss:*covers her face* You guys are so ridiculous; of course I liked it!

RJN:*High five* Oh yeah!!!!!

Ruby:That’s for the assist you two!

Neptune:Please, like we were gonna miss that!?

Jaune:There was no convincing needed.

*various loud cheering from people*

Ozma:This place is the best.

[absolxguardian]

Master and Apprentice Propechy Analysis

Alright, with Master and Apprentice giving us snippets of Jedi prophecies, it’s time for one of my favorite things, analyzing them with not just the hindsight of over 60 years of events on the characters, but with the knowledge that narrative imperative means that the prophecies cover events in the main story. So let’s go:

“She who will be born to darkness will give birth to darkness.”

I can very confidently say this refers to Leia. She’s Vader’s biological child, and her son will be Kylo Ren. The original prophecy was also in Old Alderaanian, making it even more relevant to Leia. Qui-Gon brings up a possible interpretation of the prophecy having already passed, referring a Malastaran duchess with an evil father and a Dark Jedi daughter. I’m going to say narrative imperative makes it about something the audience already knows about. And something involving the family of the likely Chosen One is going to give the events more weight to the Force, if you want an in-universe explanation.

“When the kyber that is not kyber shines forth, the time of prophecy will be at hand.��

Qui-Gon ends the book believing that the false kholen crystals on his mission indicate that his mission starts the time of prophecy. I don’t really agree with him. To start, there’s nothing about this mission that makes it more prophecy-like than any other mission Qui-Gon went on with Obi-Wan. It’s not their first, and it’s not the one right before TPM. Qui-Gon does have visions that end up being correct, but he didn’t even have them before the mission. And visions aren’t really prophecies.

If you assume the time of prophecy is the time periods covered by the movies (again narrative imperative and the Chosen One prophecy), either TPM or ANH/Rogue One starts the time of prophecy. Qui-Gon’s first vision after seeing the kholen crystals consist of them turning red, like bled crystals. I could see bled kyber crystals not being considered kyber because they’ve been damaged. If that’s the case, then TPM will mark the first time the wider Jedi order encountered Sith lightsabers in a thousand years. And so that’s when “kyber that is not kyber” shines forth. Or if the “time of prophecy” is the OT then the activation of the Death Star would be when kyber that is not kyber shines forth. The laser is powered by kyber crystals, but the modifications and impersonal activation of them could make it so they’re no longer true kyber. I don’t really have a preference for either marker, but I don’t really agree with Qui-Gon.

“When the righteous lose the light, evil once dead shall return.”

Obviously, this could be about the complacency of the Jedi Order leading to the return of the Sith and most likely is, but there’s another more specific reading for this prophecy. And that’s Maul. This would make the Jedi losing the light when they enter the Clone Wars. Now if the prophecy said evil once dead would return because of the righteous losing the light, then I’d say it’s definitely the Sith, because the survival of the Sith comes directly from the Jedi’s problems. Maul’s return is a less direct cause and effect, but the prophecy doesn’t require the return to be because of the Jedi’s problems.

“The danger of the past is not past, but sleeps in an egg. When the egg cracks, it will threaten the galaxy entire.”

Yeah, it’s the Sith. I don’t think there’s any deeper symbolic meaning of the egg part, it’s just that things grow in eggs, but can’t hurt anyone while inside one.

When Qui-Gon is musing over the whole idea of prophecies, he thinks about a prophecy that “said the Sith would disappear yet appear again”. We don’t know the exact text of the prophecy, but I could see it as being either of the previous two. Jedi studying that prophecy agree that it references to a possible return of the Order, which it obviously does. Qui-Gon mentions that it could be about Darth Wrend, a Sith who was assumed dead but then returned to fight the Jedi. Again, I think narrative imperative requires it to be former. I also think we can say that Qui-Gon studying this prophecy is why he’s so confident Darth Maul is a Sith.

“One will ascend to the highest of the Jedi despite the foreboding of those who would serve with him.”

Qui-Gon believes the prophecy refers to him, but since he never accepts the position of the council, it can’t be. And it’s clearly about Anakin. Thank you random Jedi Seer for having such a straightforward prophecy.

“Only through sacrifice of many Jedi will the Order cleanse the sin done to the nameless.”

The most obvious interpretation is that the destruction of the Jedi somehow “cleanses” what they did to the clones. I’m not sure how the Jedi Order falling makes up for what happened to the clones, it certainly doesn’t improve their situation. The only thing I can think of is that it’s somewhat implied that Order 66 only works once (Tiin was only able to pull his Order 66 trick because the clones with the inquisitors were new, but Bilabla’s clones keep hunting Kanan. On the other hand, the few Imperial clones we know of aren’t obsessed with the Jedi anymore), and so with it fulfilled, they’re finally freed from the inhibitor chip. But it seems like a pretty bad deal, but I could imagine the Force or the Seer considering freedom from possible literal mind control enough.

Another reading I could think of is that the masses of the galaxy: slaves, clones, and exploited poor beings are the nameless because no one pays much attention to their plight. With the Jedi Order reset, the sin that was their complacency and being bound to the Republic is destroyed. You see that with Ezra, Kanan, and Ahsoka, but Luke clearly falls into the same trap. Qui-Gon says that the prophecies can be filtered by the Seer’s basis (so it’s a tool to learn about how they see the world), so it’s possible that the Seer just saw Rey’s new light-side Order as Jedi, or maybe Rey ends up calling them Jedi. Of course, this is if it does turn out Rey does the likely thing of forming a new and improved Jedi-like order.

“When the Force itself sickens, past and future must split and combine.”

The stuff about past and future made me think of the World Between Worlds, but nothing about that time really strikes me as making the Force sick any more than the Empire after Rebels. They were single-handedly causing climate change on Lothal, and with the Loth Wolves, the planet seems to be very important to the Force, but I can’t really see Ezra’s time travel as “splitting and combining”. Maybe the Force was just worried about Ahsoka, since she holds the spirit of the Daughter.

However, there’s another way to read this. With the Cosmic Force “awakening” in TFA and Luke noticing a change in the Force when Rey arrives, it’s implied that the events ST trilogy is affecting the Force itself. With them returning to Jakku, where the definitely dark-side abyss is located, it's possible that part of TROS deals with the Force being sick in some way. Rey learning from the Jedi of the past, but also using her own morality and ideas to create a better order and that’s past and future splitting and combining. Take what works from tradition, but make your own future. If my second guess is true, then it means that this prophecy has actual predictive qualities for us, and that’s pretty cool.

“A Chosen One shall come, born of no father, and through him will ultimate balance in the Force be restored.”

So you know how I’ve said that I wouldn’t make a Chosen One theory without the actual text of the prophecy, well here it is. It’s also simpler than the several page mostly-censored version from legends. Well to start, unless there’s some translation gender weirdness (like the original language of the prophecy had no gendered pronouns and the translator’s own basis influenced them), Rey isn’t the Chosen One. But don’t get excited, Kylo Ren can’t be the Chosen One either, because the identity of Kylo’s dad is pretty important. In fact, the only way I can see the Chosen One being Luke is that “born of no father” isn’t literal, but instead, it's about how when Anakin fell and Padme rejected him, he forfeited the right to be Luke’s true father. I like that reading, but the ending of ROTJ seems to imply Lucas doesn’t agree with me.

In fact, I’m now firmly in the “Anakin is the Chosen One” camp, and I’ve left my “series of Chosen Ones” headcanon. The main reason is the “through him” part. It implies that it’s not Vader’s actions that cause balance in the Force, but that it’s an unintended consequence of his actions. Now people have joked that the two-ish Jedi and two-ish Darksiders after ROTS mean that Anakin balanced the Force then, and Rael even brings up that same idea, that balance is when light and dark are equal. But when the Empire rose, it was only the numbers of Sith and Jedi that were equal (and they weren’t even that equal, with the Inquisitors, short-term surviving Jedi, and the almost Jedi like Ahsoka). The Sith were clearly more powerful. However, as I mentioned before, there’s a good chance the Cosmic Force “fell asleep” after ROTJ. And there have been hints that extensions of the Cosmic Force like the Ones or Force Ghosts are actually aberrations. Anakin brings balance to Mortis by killing all of the Ones, and the Father seems confident Anakin will do the same to the wider galaxy. Now he may be wrong, but I’m more inclined to trust a Force god over someone like Maul. And Qui-Gon’s story in FACPOV makes it clear that when a Force ghost manifests, it’s an unpleasant and unnatural separation from the Force. Somehow, the end of the Sith caused the Force to smooth out the aberrations that are consciousness independent from the whole. Well, until TFA. And if that is true, it explains why the Force Ghosts couldn’t give Luke advice until TLJ.

“He who learns to conquer death will through his greatest student live again.”

Obviously “he who learns to conquer death” is supposed to be Qui-Gon, but the question is, who’s the greatest student? Qui-Gon becomes the master when he teaches both Yoda and Obi-Wan after his death, but I wouldn’t describe anything of what Yoda or Obi-Wan does counting as living again. Neither of them really live up to Qui-Gon’s temporal goals. Also, who is supposed to be the greatest? Obi-Wan was Qui-Gon’s only temporal student, and you can’t be the greatest when there’s no competition. But Qui-Gon only taught one thing to Yoda.

The fact the obvious interpretation doesn’t quite fit has led me to another reading, one that also predicts the future from our view as well. And that is that Luke ends up conquering death a lot more metaphorically through Rey. The TROS trailer has, what we have to assume to be Luke’s Force Ghost saying “we have taught you all you know- a thousand generations live in you now.” It sounds like Luke is somehow speaking for other Jedi spirits or at least the contents of the Jedi texts. As I discussed earlier, Force Ghosts are aberrations in the Force. So Luke conquering death is more metaphorical. His beliefs in both the failings of the Jedi, but the need for the Jedi to exist will come to fruition in the form of Rey’s reborn Jedi. And Luke has had many students, but since they all either fell or died, Rey is certainly his best one.

[maggyme13]

YAY 300 Followers!Let´s Celebrate :)

To celebrate that, I am going to do 2 Things:

1.       I will open my Ask- Box for prompts for Oneshots or drabbles to      write

I may write for any Character of the MCU- Movies, Hobbit, Witcher (game) series, Stargate Atlantis, SOA 

for almost any situation- as long as I feel comfortable with it-

Want another character? Just ask;)

NO smut for underaged characters or asks about actors..

2.  I will host a writing challenge for YOU to participate in

You find prompts under the cut.

Please tag me in your work and use the #maggies300challenge tag

Deadline is the 1st of June

You don´t need to follow me to participate, it is appreciated though.

Please reblog this so others can get informed as well.

Just send an ASK with the prompt(s) you choose and the character(s) it is for (see 1.).

There may be prompts chosen by more than one person, should the characters be different.

AU´s are allowed :)

NO smut for underaged and no actors, and please tag accordingly your theme.

Don´t find a fitting prompt? Send in your own suggestion.

I will read every story and put it in a Masterlist and don´t fret to send me a message shouldt I reblock it after a day or two.

(1)    “I shall claim full amends for every fall and stubbed toe, if you do not lead us well.”

(2)    "Keep breathing, that’s the key"

(3)    "You could’ve picked a better spot."

(4)    “I guess that concludes negotiations.”

(5)    “That still count as one”

(6)    “Certainty of death, small chance of success- what are we waiting for?"

(7)    “Not bad. But I prefer this.”

(8)    “So what is the best way to a man's heart?”

(9)    “Between the fourth and fifth rib. That's where I usually go. I'll put a twist at the end if I wanna make sure.”

(10)“There are bad days, and then there are legendary bad days”

(11)“Really? And you plan on killing me with what, your mouth?”

(12)“You're not afraid of the dark, are you?” @sweetness47

(13)“And kid, leave God out of this. He wants no part of what happens next.”

(14)“Three down, eight left. Now, normally I'd just keep going. Six down... Nine down... You get where I'm going with this.”

(15)“I'll kill you with my teacup.”

(16)“If I owned this place and Hell, I'd rent this place out and live in Hell.”

(17)“Me? I'm just passin' through.”

(18)“Remember that favourite game of yours”

(19) "Who's the Better Killer?"

(20)“We all began as something else.”

(21)“I shoulda taken the money”

(22)“Sister, they don't know what to do with just one of me.”

(23)“Get that ASS MOVING!“

(24)“Lesson Learned. No such word as "friend"”

(25)“Join him, or join me.”

@legion1993(John Winchester x Reader X Dean Winchester)

(26)“Where's ….?” “ Which half?”

(27)“Strong survival instinct. I admire that in a woman.”

(28) “It's the winner of the look alike contest.”

(29)“Amazing how you can do without the essentials of life, so long as you have the little luxuries.”

(30)“People, just a suggestion. Perhaps you should *flee*!”

(31)“Is anybody else having trouble breathing?”

(32)“Don't touch it! Don't- Don't you touch that handle!”

(33)“So... I guess something went wrong.”

(34)“You know who I am. You don’t know where I am. And you’ll never see me coming.” @sweetness47

(35)"I hope you’re ready bro, because I’m just getting started."

(36)"I may be as pretty as an angel, but I sure as hell ain't one”

(37)“You keep using that word. I don´t think it means what you think it means.”

(38)“My insurance doesn´t cover PMS.”

(39)“I'm here in case you succeed”

(40)„[nods] I can't.“

(41)“I was with the Navy. Not the Navajo“

(42)“Uh, I have a boyfriend.”

(43)“What kind of diet doesn't allow tequila?”

(44)“It's Central America. It's hot.”

(45)“It's white. You never told me it was white.”

(46)“You ever wonder why there was a job opening?”

(47)“What do you think? Want to take one home?”

(48)“You'll last two minutes in there. Less in those ridiculous shoes.”

(49)“Boys, let's do this!“ @sweetness47

(50)“Oh, like I said. I'm busy anyway, so give this job to my friend here. He loves playing in the jungle. Right?“

(51)“He said we're dead with an accent.”

(52)“You don't ask, I don't tell”

(53)“You know, you're gonna be dead anyway. So I'm gonna shut up”

(54)“Are you crazy? You could've killed me!”

(55)“So you're just gonna lie there and whimper?”

(56)“Fuck, you're old.“

(57)“I'd go with you, but... I don't want to.“

(58)“Language, please.“

(59)“There's no easy way to say this... I'm pregnant..“ @sweetness47

(60)“Have you decided what you're gonna say to her/him?”

(61)“Kinda lonesome back here.“

(62)“Do you have an off switch?”

(63)“Hey, hands off the merchandise.”

(64)“Which ones?” “ALL OF THEM!”

(65)“Hang in there, baby! I gotcha!” @sweetness47

People I think would have fun to participate:

@scarletraine @true-queen-of-mischief @lady-loki-ren @emmii4

[reyloday]

36 Questions

Summary: After a fight between Kylo and Rey on Ahch- To, Luke forces them to do an experiment to bond. [Or, the one in which Kylo and Rey (unknowingly) answer 36 questions to fall in love] Rating: Mature Word Count: 6,138 Additional Tags/Warnings: Implied smut, swearing

Read on A03

Rey liked to think she was a forgiving person. It was hard, but grudges were unnecessary and time-consuming. She would very much rather move on with her life instead of letting something fester in her heart.

But Rey’s lack of grudge would always leave something much larger: A sense of caution.

Kylo hadn’t spoken more than five words to her for nearly a week. She first brushed it off as moodiness, but his sharp replies to simple questions such as “What are you doing?” or “Will you grab that for me?” was starting to make Rey not only angry but a bit sad as well.

He had come to the island only three weeks ago, expected by neither Rey nor Luke. It hadn’t been a nice welcome, but he’d insisted he’d defected from The First Order for good, and Luke was somehow inclined to believe him. Rey wasn’t sure about the decision, but she decided not to question her master.

It didn’t take long for him and her to go from behaving right back to where they started—chilly and biting.

“Would you like some breakfast?” Rey asked Kylo when he passed her. He replied only with an icy glare and kept walking. She looked at Luke, who sat across from her, chewing thoughtfully on some kind of meat. “Did you see that?”

He nodded. “He seems to be in another mood.”

“It’s not another. He hasn’t left the mood for days. What’s wrong with him? It’s incredibly frustrating.”

“It doesn’t matter. He’ll warm up. Just give him time,” Luke said. “Can you ask him to meet us for training?”

Rey rose an eyebrow. “You’re going to let him train with me? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s time. Now go.”

Rey tried not to sigh when she stood and began walking toward Kylo’s hut. Mud squished under her shoes as she went and sweat dripped down her back from the humidity. Even after a month on the Ahch-To, Rey didn’t think she’d ever be over how different it was from Jakku. For once she was finally happy, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let Kylo Ren ruin that.

“Hey,” she mumbled after knocking on the door to his hut, knowing the walls were thin enough for him to hear. He didn’t answer. “Master Luke wanted me to get you. We’re training, and he wants you to come.”

“Tell him I don’t want to.” His voice is barely audible from the hut, but it’s definitely there.

“Why?”

“Because I fucking said to.”

Rey curled her hands into fists and climbed up the steps into Kylo’s hut, slamming open the door. He was lying in the corner on a ratty mattress. “What did you just say to me?”

He didn’t look at her. “I said ‘Because I fucking said to.’”

She crossed her arms. “Yeah, okay. But why? What have I done to you to make it so intolerable to be here?”

He laughed once, mocking. “Are you serious? What have you done? You…” He glanced at her and scowled. “You know what? Never mind.”

Rey stomped over to where he was lying and looked down at him. “Are you kidding me? You’re just not going to tell me? What, am I that awful to be around? Well, I didn’t ask for you to be here, Kylo. Me or Luke. You came here on your own volition, and it’s not my fault you’re a miserable asshole, alright?”

Kylo jumped to his feet and faced Rey, hands tight at his sides. “Tell me whatever you want, Rey. I’ve heard it all before. You think I don’t know no one wants me here? The thing is, I don’t care. I don’t care whether you or my uncle hate me because it doesn’t matter. I have nothing anyway. Keep talking all you want, but nothing is going to change.”

“Are you serious? I said I didn’t ask for you to be here. I never said I didn’t want you to be. I’m happy you’re not some Darksider trying to kill me. I’m happy you’re finally seeing things the right way, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a complete ass to me!”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Do what you want, Rey, just leave me out of it.” He moved to exit the hut but stopped in his tracks when Luke stood in front if it, a book in his hand.

“Kylo,” he said.

“Uncle.”

Luke pushed past Kylo and walked into the hut, glancing between him and Rey. “I heard both of you arguing from my hut. You both seem very passionate.” Neither Rey nor Kylo spoke. “I’m not pleased with your relationship. If you’re going to be working together, then you must mend this… tension between you.” He handed the book in his hands to Kylo. “Page 137. Read the instructions and follow them exactly. Don’t leave this hut until you’re done or you’ll both be mending my robes. Understand?”

Rey nodded. “Yes, Master Luke.”

Kylo looked like he was ready to rip down a wall. “Yes,” he said through gritted teeth.

Luke nodded at both of them and walked out of the hut, his robes rippling behind him. Rey looked at Kylo, who returned her gaze with a sneer. She followed as he sat down on the ground. “Page 137,” he mumbled flipping through the book. Rey was surprised he relented so easily, but he probably knew it was best not to try Luke’s patience when he was being so gracious toward him. “It says we need to answer 36 questions and then stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes.”

“Why?”

Kylo only glanced at her. “It’s supposed to be for bonding.”

“Well, I guess it’ll be easy enough,” she said. “Even if I’ll want to strangle you the entire time.”

Kylo ignored her and sat down the book in a place they both could see. “You can go first.” He looked down at the book and read the first question. “‘Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?’”

Rey answered without hesitation. “My parents. Or one of them, at least.”

He stared at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the book. “Uh, I guess I’d choose my mother as well. Not many other people I can choose from. Anyway, next question is ‘Would you like to be famous? In what way?’”

She thought for a moment. Fame had never been exactly on her radar, and it definitely still wasn’t. “I don’t know. Helping people in some way would be nice.”

“You could choose anything, and you chose ‘Helping people’?”

Rey shrugged. “When I’m a Jedi I’ll have to. And even if I weren’t a jedi, I’d still want to. How about you?”

“I guess bringing balance,” he said. “Which is stupid because it’s never going to happen, but…”

“What’s question three?”

He look down at the book. “‘Before talking to someone, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?’”

“No, I don’t. If it’s important then I have mental notes, but if it’s very casual I say what comes to mind.”

Kylo nodded. “I rehearse most conversations with people.”

“Even me?”

He glanced at her once before shaking his head. “No, you’re not important enough for that.”

“I think you’re lying, but I’ll accept that answer.”

Rey swore she saw a hint of a smile on his face. “‘What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?’” he asked.

“Don’t even get me started,” she said. “I’d have nothing scheduled the entire day and get up when it’s dark so I could see the sunrise. I’d also be able to have any and as much food as I want. I don’t know, just spending time with people I love would be great. You?”

“Uh… I’d want to sleep in for as long as possible and go out somewhere at night and play games and drink and stuff. I don’t really think about it a lot.” He looked at the book. “‘When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?’”

“Yesterday I sang to myself, and… it’s been a while to someone else.”

“I don’t really sing to myself,” Kylo said. He looked awkward and big sitting cross-legged on the floor, but it was endearing in a way. “And I haven’t sung to anyone since I was a kid.” Rey opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off with another question. “‘If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?’”

“I’d go for mind. Aging is a part of life, and I think it’s beautiful.”

“Me too. Question seven is ‘Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?’”

Rey laughed. “I’ve actually thought about this quite a lot. When I was on Jakku, I was sure I was going to die after an accident on one of the junk ships or be attacked by other scavengers. Now it’s probably going to be me accidentally impaling myself with a lightsaber.”

Kylo shook his head, but she could see the small smile on his face. “I… I’ve always thought the way I’d die would be harsh and brutal. I don’t know why. Probably because it’s what I deserve.”

She sat a hand on his arm. He flinched slightly. “You don’t deserve that.”

He nodded but didn’t disagree with her. “‘Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.’”

“As in, us?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, okay. Uh…” She stared at him, uncomfortably aware at how he stared back. “We’re both tall—”

“You aren’t tall.”

“Yes, I am, and I did not ask for your opinion. We also have dark hair and are Force-sensitive.”

“Real creative,” Kylo said. “We’re both wearing shoes, hate those Porgs, and neither of us wants to be here.”

“I do not hate the Porgs.”

“I saw you cuss one out earlier this week.”

“That damned thing took my muffin. It deserved it.”

“Okay, okay. Question nine: ‘For what in your life do you feel most grateful?’”

“Everyone here,” she answered without hesitation. “Everyone helping me.”

“Does that include me?”

“Are you helping me?”

“I try to,” he said.

“Then yes.” Rey stares at him for a moment before shaking her head. “How about you?”

Kylo shrugged. “I guess people as well. The ones who have forgiven me or mostly forgiven me, you know?” He turned back to the book and visibly swallowed. “Uh, ‘If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?’”

She could feel her face burning, but it wasn’t in shame. Kylo knew about her parents, how they were gone. The answer to the question was obvious. “I’d want them back.”

“I know,” he said. “I’d want mine around more. I think… that’s when things started going wrong. When they left me for something ‘more important.’ It just stung, I guess, and I made up for it in ways I could as a child.” He was silent for a moment before shaking his head. “It sounds stupid, never mind.”

“No, it doesn’t. Don’t think that. Nothing you say is stupid, Kylo.”

“I doubt that, but thank you. ‘Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.’”

Rey flushed. “I-I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. We don’t have—”

“No! I can do it. Uh…” Memories ran through her mind—the sand, the sweat, all the cuts and bruises and broken bones. Very few were good, and even the good ones probably wouldn’t qualify as one to Kylo. “I was left on Jakku when I was young. I don’t know exactly when, but they’ve said I was 6 or 7. No one knows why they did it or why they chose Jakku, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I picked up scavenging since there was really nothing else to do, but it wasn’t easy for a little girl. Sometimes people would help me a give me portions, but that stopped when I was about 11, I think. I lived alone, had to deal with things myself. I spent every day scavenging, trying to earn enough to feed myself, but things always seemed to get worse.” Rey paused and looked up at Kylo. “Then I found BB-8 and everything changed. You know the rest. Your turn.”

He nodded. “I, uh, was born on Chandrila. They named me Ben because of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I was very attached to my mother, which, I think, hurt my father.” Rey noticed he was fidgeting quite a bit. “My parents weren’t horrible people. They gave me all the material possessions I could’ve ever wanted, but there was something missing. My mom was busy rebuilding the Republic, and my dad was helping her. Sometimes they’d leave for weeks at a time and would leave me with a nanny, but they never lasted for long since they were terrified of me.” He sighed. “My parents too. They were scared of me. My dad didn’t get the Force thing, and it scared my mom how powerful I was, so they sent me to Uncle Luke’s academy. I trained there for years, and it helped me control the Force, but it didn’t really give me…” He trailed off.

“Fulfillment?” Rey offered.

Kylo nodded. “Yeah, close enough. I didn’t even realize that there was someone in my head, someone who had been there since I was a baby. He fed me darkness, and one day I think I just… snapped. They kept secrets from me, and, I don’t know, I hated them and I hated myself.” He clutched his thighs, digging his fingernails into the fabric of his pants. “You know the rest.”

Rey stared at him. She never really realized how alone he was. She always thought being surrounded by people meant one could never be lonely, but it seemed even being some child prodigy watched over by people who were terrified of you left some kind of emptiness.

Kylo cleared his throat. “Uh, question 12: ‘If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?’”

“I’d want to be able to understand people better,” Rey said. “I always just assume things, but sometimes there’s more to it.”

He studied her for a moment then returned his eyes to his lap. “I’d want to be able to make the right decisions all the time. To not be such a mess-up.”

Rey sat a hand on his out of instinct. “You’re not a mess-up. You’ve made some bad decisions and are an asshole sometimes, but you’re not a mess-up.”

He looked down at her hand, and she removed it quickly. “‘If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?’”

The answer was obvious. “My parents. I’d like to know who they are, why they left me on Jakku, who they were running from, if they’re alive.” She stared at him, waiting for his answer.

“I’d want to know if things were going to get any better.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Like… In the future, if I fixed things with people or if The First Order was gone. Stuff like that.” He shook his head. “‘Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?’”

“I don’t know. Um… well, there is something, but it’s stupid.”

“That doesn’t matter. This whole thing is pointless, anyway, remember?” Rey almost thought he was serious, but there was a small smile on his face.

“Well,” she said, her face slightly flushed, “I’ve always wanted to kiss someone.” His eyes widened just a bit. “Not like a kiss on the cheek, but a real kiss. There was never really an opportunity for me to on Jakku, and I came to Ahch-To quickly after I left, so I never did.” She shook her head. “Okay, your turn.”

“Uh, I’ve always wanted to take a vacation with someone. A real vacation, not some bullshit tourist trap vacation. One where you can just relax and and be calm and enjoy things. My parents would go on vacations with me when I was young, but they stopped after I got sent to training, and then I never really had time afterward.”

��That sounds great. You should do it after… everything.”

He nods. “Yeah. I will. ‘What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?’”

“Is it bad if I say defeating you?”

Kylo did laugh then, very quietly. “No, but why?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it made me realize that I truly was something out of the ordinary. It gave me the strength to go on.”

His hand made his way up to the scar on his face. “Then I’m glad you did it.”

“Why?”

“Because it gave me strength too.” He trailed his fingers down his scar and settled his hands in his lap. “Leaving. That’s my greatest accomplishment.” Rey didn’t need to ask what he meant. “‘What do you value most in a friendship?’”

“Trust,” she said. “Trust and honesty is extremely important to me.”

“I agree,” he said. “‘What is your most treasured memory?’”

“Meeting BB-8 because that’s where my life really started. You?”

A smile crossed Kylo’s lips, just for a moment. “Family dinners when I was a kid. It didn’t happen a lot, but on good nights we’d all talk to each other and share news. I don’t know, it was just… happy.” He cleared his throat. “‘What is your most terrible memory?’”

“Jakku,” Rey said.

“Really? It wasn’t anything else?”

She rose an eyebrow. “What, did you want me to say the mind-probing?”

“No, but it seemed like a reasonable guess.”

“It was just a few minutes versus a decade of constant misery. I don’t think it will ever measure up.”

Kylo nodded. “Mine would be… my time with Snoke.” Rey didn’t ask for a further explanation. She’d seen his scars enough to know. “‘If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?’”

Rey stared at him. “I don’t know. I’d probably just keep doing what I was doing but do some things on the side too.”

“First kiss?”

She smiled. “Yes, first kiss.”

“I’d probably take some time off at first, but knowing me I’d get bored and come back.”

“Of course you would.”

“‘What does friendship mean to you?’”

“It means… being there for someone through the good and the bad, no matter what,” she said.

He nodded. “For me, it means trusting someone completely and embracing their flaws and staying with them unequivocally.”

Rey smiled. “I think what you’re describing is love.”

Kylo shrugged, tapping his fingers on the floor. “It’s practically the same thing, anyway.”

“Yeah, I’d agree. There’s a very fine line between the two.”

“‘What roles do love and affection play in your life?’” he asked. Rey could sense the change of subject.

“Not a lot,” she said quietly. “I’d like there to be more. Not much time for it, honestly.”

“Me too. As a Padawan, I wasn’t really allowed those kinds of bonds, but I’ve always been an emotional person. I couldn’t cut ties with love completely. It seemed unnecessary and extreme. I think cutting emotional ties is the last thing that will benefit me.”

Rey nodded. “I agree. I’ve spent my entire life without love. I want it. In some way, at least.”

“Good. ‘Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five.’”

“Does that mean five each?”

“I’d assume so, yes.” He met her eyes. “I’ll go first. You’re very nice.”

“You walk slowly.”

Kylo rose an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it. “You’re good at using the Force.”

“You’re smart.”

“You listen to me.”

“You don’t laugh when I don’t understand something.”

“You’re resourceful.”

“You’re genuine.”

“You call me out on my bullshit.”

“You’re attractive.”

Kylo choked on the last one. “Wait, really?”

Rey could feel her cheeks heating. “Yeah.”

She swore Kylo had a blush on his face. “Okay, um, next question. ‘How close and warm is your…” He trailed off and looked back up at her. “Let’s skip this one.” He looked down at the book again. “And the next one. Um, how about we go to number 25? ‘Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, ‘We are both in this room feeling …’”

Rey nodded. “Okay, uh, we are both confused as to why we are doing this.”

“We are both mildly annoyed at Luke Skywalker.”

“We are both extremely nervous.”

“We are both curious about each other.”

“We are both tired.”

“We are both more similar than either of us realized.”

Rey cleared her throat and looked away from him. “Uh, what’s next?”

Kylo looked down at the book. “‘Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share…’”

“A kiss,” she said, her voice just above a whisper.

“My life,” he said, matching her volume. “‘If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.’”

Rey took a deep breath. “Um, I’m a very clingy person, and I need constant validation.”

“I hide behind sarcasm because it makes me feel better about myself.” His eyes flickered back up to her. “‘Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.’”

“I think you’re a beautiful person,” she said. “Not just physically, either. I don’t know. I think you’re too hard on yourself sometimes. You’ve done a lot of things right. I admire how humble and honest you are with yourself, even if a bit brutal.”

Kylo’s lip quivered just a bit. “I-I like how you look for the good in everything, but you’re not afraid. You’re genuine and kind and… I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

She sat her hand on his but didn’t pull away that time. “Yes, you do.”

“‘Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life,’” he said, his voice small.

Rey removed her hand and immediately missed his warmth. “When I was around 18 on Jakku, I started my period for the first time, and I didn’t know what it was because no one ever told me, so I thought I was dying, and it wasn’t until I saw a healer after Starkiller that I found out what it was. It was a long conversation, but now I know.”

Kylo smiled just a bit. “I never realized how bad Jakku was.”

“It was pretty awful. Now tell me what yours is.”

“Wow, um, there’s a lot to choose from, trust me. There was this time at the Jedi Academy that I was training with some fellow Padawans and one of the boys had it out for me because I was a ‘special snowflake.’ Let’s just say one of them tied my shoe strings together when we were doing a blind-folded exercise and I broke my wrist when I fell.”

“Oh no, that’s horrible.”

“Yes, and madly embarrassing because I should’ve been able to catch myself, but I didn’t.”

“They still shouldn’t have done it.”

“Whatever. It’s over with now.” He looked at the book. “‘When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?’”

“In front of another person was on Starkiller Base after…” She didn’t dare say what triggered it. “By myself was a few days ago.”

“Why?”

Rey shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been feeling alone lately.”

“I understand,” he said. “Are you okay now?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Good. Um, the last time I cried in front of another person was a few weeks ago. By myself was a few days ago as well.”

She nodded. “Are you okay too?”

He met her eyes. “I’m better.” Rey nodded, knowing not to pry any more. “‘Tell your partner something that you like about them already.’ I like how real you are,” he said immediately. “It’s really nice that you’re not trying to be someone else for the sake of it.”

“I like how you understand me, even if we’re completely different people… And I like how you touch me,” she added at the last second, not completely sure why. Her face flushed.

Kylo looked like he was going to reply, but he didn’t. “‘What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?’” His voice was higher pitched than usual.

“Love,” Rey said. “Real love.”

“Marriage.” Kylo looked back down at the book. “‘If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?’”

“That I like them,” she said. “Differently than they think. And I didn’t because I was scared and confused and… I don’t know.”

Kylo nodded. “That I was sorry. Because I was too scared to say it before.” He fiddled with the pages on the book, not meeting her eyes. “Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?’”

“My lightsaber,” they both answered at once.

“‘Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?’” Kylo asked.

“I’ll pass on that one.”

He nodded. “My mother.”

“What number was that?”

Kylo looked down at the book. “35. There’s one more question. Are you ready?”

Rey nodded. “Do it.”

“‘Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.’”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of problems.”

“None at all?”

“I mean, I have problems, but I don’t know if you could help me with any of them, honestly.”

“Okay, then tell me your most recent one.”

“I’ve found someone’s not nearly as big of a prick as I thought they were.”

Kylo rose an eyebrow. “Is that so? Such a big problem.”

“A huge one.”

“My suggestion would be to admit it to them.” There’s a smallest hint of a smile on his face. “I think you might be surprised what they say back.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. How about you?”

“Nothing too drastic. Just that my uncle may not be as big of a loon as I previously thought. What would you say about that?”

Rey smiled. “I’d say you’re wrong. He definitely is, but not necessarily in a bad way.”

Kylo looked back to the book. “The last thing we have to do is stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes.”

She faced him and let out a deep breath. “Ready? Will you count?”

He nodded and met her eyes. “Ready.”

It was hard not to remove her eyes from his at first. It was what she’d been doing the entire time they were together. As time went on, it got easier to stare at him. She wasn’t sure what the point of this was, but it was nice, in a way, to study him without constraint.

Rey had looked at Kylo’s face before, but usually it was out of disgust. This time, though, she was able to appreciate it differently. He wasn’t conventionally attractive like some of the men she’d met lately, but he was attractive in a different way. His scar was the most striking thing about him, mostly faded from that day on Starkiller Base but still recognizable. She didn’t regret it, but she did find herself wishing she could touch it, wishing she could touch him.

And all at once, she found herself moving her attention from his scar to his lips. She imagined how it would feel to have them close, to have them move against her own lips in some sort of messy rhythm. Her face reddened.

From then on, she couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts. Some were about the feeling of him on top of her, naked and whimpering with every touch. Others were about him in her arms, snoring quietly against her chest.

Each passing second brought more and more and more, and Rey wasn’t sure what was real until Kylo’s fingertips brushed her knee. She touched his hand gingerly with her own and watched as he let out a wavering breath. Rey bit her lip as she laced his fingers through his.

Finally, after four agonizing minutes, Kylo said “Done” with a higher pitched voice than usual. Rey ripped her eyes away from his and settled them on their hands before returning back to his eyes. “K-Kylo,” she said, voice wavering.

“Rey,” he said back.

“You’re shaking.”

He looked down at his hands and back up again. “I know. Are you…”

“No.”

“What do we do now?”

“Touch me,” she said without hesitation.

Kylo immediately obeyed her, setting his right hand on her cheek and his left on the back of her neck. Slowly, he leaned forward until their noses just brushed. “Tell me to stop.” The feeling of his breath against her was enough to drive her mad.

“No.”

He leaned forward just a bit, letting their lips just brush before moving back. When their eyes met once again, Kylo let out a shaky breath and went right back to Rey’s lips. He moved slowly at first, kept himself at a distance from her, but Rey grabbed at his clothes, pulling him closer and closer. His hands moved from her face and neck and trailed down her shoulders before settling on her thighs.

This, she thought. This is what it’s supposed to be.

It felt like they were there for hours, exploring each other with gasping breaths and shaking hands. After a while, Rey mumbled something along the lines of “Bed. Please.” and they moved toward his mattress (which most definitely was not built for two people). Rey couldn’t help but think of her daydream where he laid between her hips and did sinful things. His fingers traced her waist as his lips moved against hers slowly enough to make her want to beg for more. Every touch was fire, and Rey loved the way she burned.

Rey kicked off her shoes and shoved them away while Kylo did the same. He sat up on top of her and removed his belt, followed by his tunic, tossing them somewhere across the room. Rey had seen him in less, but it was more intimate with him so close, with his hands on her, implying so much.

There was a blush spread across his chest when Kylo removed his shirt. He didn’t give Rey much time to admire it before returning to her lips, pressing them together gently. As he kissed her, his hands pulled off her vest easily and returned to remove her shirt, hands trailing down to her thighs.

Clothes were tossed about the room. The sweet sound of kisses turned into moans as they moved together in a messy combination of fumbling limbs. It felt like hours ago that they were staring into each other’s eyes, and Rey was imagining how it felt to have him like this. Only the real thing was so much better.

There was a voice in her mind, reminding her who he was, what he had done. It tried to distract her from the way Kylo touched her, moved with her, made her whimper and cry out his name. She didn’t let it because none of it mattered in those moments they were together.

Afterwards, they lay together, blanket draped haphazardly over their bodies. Rey traced her fingers across his back, connecting each of his freckles together. She wanted to speak. She could tell he did too.

“Kylo—”

“You didn’t like it.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, something he seemed very sure of.

“What? No, no, Kylo, that’s not what I was going to say.”

He turned over to face her. “It wasn’t?”

She set a hand on his cheek. “Of course not. You… It was good. So good. I was just thinking…”

He swallowed. “Thinking?”

“Yeah. Um, you know, what we are. I mean… what happened wasn’t exactly normal.”

A small smile appeared on his face. “I wonder if my uncle knew this would happen.”

“That’s a rather disturbing thought, one I would rather not think about.” She pinched his cheek. “But what about us?”

Kylo sighed and ran a hand over his eyes. “Rey, I’ll take anything you’ll give me.”

“Anything?” It was strange to think about. If she asked him to marry her, would he do it? Not that she wanted to marry him or anything yet, but it was interesting to think about.

He nodded. “Anything. The fact that you’re here right now means… more to me than you can understand.”

“Kylo, were you in love with me before this?”

He didn’t answer her immediately and wouldn’t meet her eyes, but there was an unmistakable blush on his cheeks and chest. “Um, it’s possible.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “God, how long ago?”

“You know when I started being an asshole to you?”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Rey tried not to giggle, but the longer she stared at him, the worse it got. Eventually, she burst out laughing, while his blush got worse. “I can’t believe you,” she said when she caught her breath. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I know,” he mumbled. “But you still have something to answer for me.”

“And that is?”

“Are you in love with me?”

Rey set her hand on his cheek and swiped her thumb across his bottom lip. He seemed shocked for a moment. “I don’t know. All I know right now is that I want to be here with you, and I don’t want to leave.”

Kylo pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “That’s good enough for me.”

Rey opened her mouth again but was cut off when the door of the hut swung open and in walked none other than Luke Skywalker. Kylo gasped and sat up, yanking the blanket to cover himself more. “Kylo!” Rey shrieked and moved behind him.

Luke gave them a once-over and rolled his eyes. “I am too old for this.”

“Get out!” Kylo shouted.

“Calm yourself, Solo,” he muttered walking toward the book in the middle of the floor. “Which page did you look up.”

“137, like you told us.”

Luke sighed. “I meant 127. You two just took a love experiment.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You answer 36 questions, and at the end it’s said you can fall in love with anyone.”

She shook her head. “What, so this is fake?” No, it couldn’t be. How she felt couldn’t be the product of some experiment.

Luke grunted. “No, it’s not fake.” Rey finally let herself breathe. “It doesn’t work for most people, but… it seems it made your relationship fester into something different.”

“Please leave,” Kylo said, hands curled into fists.

Luke nodded and left without another word, slamming the door behind him.

A few moments later, Rey glanced at Kylo, who looked like a strange combination of confused and angry. Rey set a hand on his shoulder. “Kylo—”

She was cut off when he started laughing. It wasn’t quiet and hidden like the few times she’d seen it. His shoulders shook, and he bent over, struggling to breathe. For a few moments, Rey wanted to ask whether he was okay, but she decided otherwise and just enjoyed the man she had now.

Finally, after what seemed like minutes later, he turned toward her and pressed their lips together. “Thank you,” he mumbled against her.

“For what?”

“For being here.”

Rey smiled and brushed his hair back. “Always. As long as you don’t leave, I won’t.”

Kylo pulled Rey back down onto the mattress and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. Their legs intertwined, chests pressed together, they stared into each other’s eyes. It was similar to the way they’d done it earlier, but as they laid together again it was different. Rey could feel Kylo’s heartbeat against her hand as she lay with him. She still wasn’t sure where they stood together, but all that could be resolved later. It didn’t matter then, even if she was afraid of everything that would come next.

Because, after all, there is no love with the absence of fear.

[sentrava]

At 35, I Started Caring About My Skin — Here’s My Routine

The hardest thing about traveling so often is keeping a regular, healthy diet and a skincare routine compatible with TSA requirements and my aging self. I recently turned 36, and I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t truly get serious about caring for my skin until about 18 months ago. That said, better late than never (right? RIGHT?), so I put together this play-by-play of how to maintain a skincare routine in your 30s—and, in particular, how I keep it up while on the road.

But first, it must be said, I am not a doctor, a dermatologist or an aesthetician (clearly). You should absolutely see one (or all) of the above before doing anything drastic with your own skin. I do have a great derm, Dr. Lorien Sites at Nashville Skin, who I see once a year for skin checks and preventative cancer screenings and an aesthetician in Nashville, Mallory Hamilton at Woo Cosmetics, as well as one in Manchester, Megan Hershman of Be Well Skin, who I go to for professional facials and waxing. That said, I can only afford so many such treatments, so I’ve learned what I can do on my own and what I need to leave to the pros.

And it happens to be my favorite time of year: the Sephora VIB sale! I tend to stock up on all the products I need during this sale for 11 days every April and November. It’s the perfect excuse to try out a bevy of new products as there are 10 to 20 percent discounts throughout the course of 11 days, in addition to all sorts of freebies and perks.

Note: This post is in no way sponsored by Sephora, though I did include affiliate links when applicable below. I purchased every beauty product I featured below through Sephora (or Ulta if I can’t find it at my first-choice shop) and have stopped buying actual skincare products via Amazon. Why? Read this.

My Daytime Routine

After going overboard with products to start and creating blackheads for the first time in my life as a result, this is now what I do in the morning now. I don’t double-cleanse every single day, as I don’t wear makeup and my skin is already sensitive, so the second step is just an occasional add depending on how my skin is feeling that day. It’s always a trial-and-error with what works for you, though I’ve found a lot of helpful tips via beauty guru Caroline Hirons over the years. I also often defer to this New York Times piece on building a skincare routine when I’m feeling overwhelmed and sifting through the black hole of skincare recommendations that is the Internet.

Step 1: Rinse my face with warm water and a cleanser like this Algenist one

Step 2: Double cleanse with an exfoliating product like Tatcha’s Deep Cleanse (optional)

Step 3: Apply Tarte Knockout Tingling Treatment as a toner (I don’t do this every day)

Step 4: Splash my face with Fresh’s Black Tea Kombucha Antioxidant Essence to ward off pollutants

Step 5: Apply a layer of Drunk Elephant Day Serum

Step 6: Apply Supergoop SPF and an additional thin coat of moisturizer if needed (i.e. if my skin is dry)

Go about my day!

I’ve tried to be better about wearing SPF every single day, even if I don’t think I’m going out in the sun. My bestie Lemon turned me onto Supergoop! products a couple years ago, and those are my go-to for days I know I’ll be outside at some point. Plus, I love that it comes in a 1.7-ounce bottle, so I can keep it in my carry-on and reapply as needed. Back home, I have a massive tube of Le Roche-Posay’s Anthelios SPF, a line my makeup artist friend Brenna introduced me to a few years ago (and one you can now find at your local pharmacy like Walgreens), that I apply when running or working in the yard.

I have combination skin that errs on the oily side, so won’t use a moisturizer during the day unless it’s winter (or allergy season like now) and my skin is feeling tight and itchy. In that case, I’m a big fan of Little Seed Farm’s Goat’s Milk Moisturizer, which is a nearby Tennessee brand I purchase locally from Kroger’s but has a website from which you can order if you aren’t local. I also love Tatcha’s Water Cream, and it’s a bonus that it’s a clean product, too (slowly making the switch to mostly products that are certified clean).

Keeping my products organized and ready to use step-by-step has been a lot easier in the new house as we actually have bathroom space and closets here. I like to keep everything where I can see it so I can survey what I have in stock, so I loved adding this rotating beauty organizer I got on Amazon for just $26 to my new bathroom. I also have a variety of Container Store and STORi plastic bins like this one that I use to organize my overflow and hair products in my bathroom closet.

Using Face Masks

Since I work from home, I often do a mask once or twice a week midday and have all my skincare products readily available and have liked splashing this Fresh essence on my face throughout the day when I need a boost. I’m constantly trying new ones, but here are a few of my favorites:

REN’s Glycol Lactic Radiance Renewal Mask (I use this peel once a week and it’s glorious)

Sephora Collection Face Masks (I prefer the coconut, pearl and lychee)

TONYMOLY Sheet Masks (for $3.75 a pop, you can’t beat the price)

My Nighttime Routine

One thing to note is that figuring out what works for you takes time. Don’t introduce everything at once, otherwise you won’t know what’s working and what’s not. For example, the Pixie Glow Tonic from Target beauty bloggers rave about? Only made my skin break out and become more red in complexion. I immediately took it out of my rotation and started testing out different Vitamin C and brightening serums instead.

Wash with a deep cleanser (I like various Peter Thomas Roth products)

Apply a serum (Sunday Riley Vitamin C or Drunk Elephant T.L.C. Framboos)

Apply a retinol (currently using Drunk Elephant’s A-Passioni)

Apply an eye cream (I haven’t found one I love but currently am using Drunk Elephant’s that came in a set)

Apply a night cream (see below for my thoughts on this)

Between each step, I make sure the product has properly soaked in before I add the next layer. Rule of thumb if you can’t remember which order to apply is: lightest to heaviest. My night cream or moisturizer depends on how thirsty my skin is (I used to not use one, but now I’m trying to reverse deep forehead wrinkles without Botox so use one religiously). My go-to is Belif’s Aqua Bomb, particularly in the drier months like winter, but I really love Farmacy’s Sleep Tight quenches my skin but doesn’t make me wake up feeling oily.

I also finally started using a silk pillowcase, the Slip pillowcase beloved by bloggers everywhere, and I’m kind of mad my mom has used one her entire life and never enforced it upon me because it does help protect both your skin and your hair. And as someone with crazy wavy hair, I can actually straighten it one day, sleep on the silk pillowcase and wake up to it not a mess for a change.

In terms of toning and skin-brightening, friends of mine swear by Karen Hayes Esthetics’ Koji pads, and I finally dropped $160 on a pack and … was extremely underwhelmed. I used them religiously for the recommended 60 days and saw no change in my skin tone. That said, I didn’t actually go in to see the esthetician first—rather, I filled out the survey online—so maybe I needed a stronger prescription? I don’t know. In a world of abundant skincare options, I don’t think I’d drop the money to re-try this one. I’m getting more religious about using a toner and Vitamin C serum instead.

After a decade of using retinol from my derm, I’ve been using OTC retinol products for the past year after my skin went ballistic with an allergic reaction the last time I tried medical-grade products. I’m due for my annual skin checkup with my derm soon, so I’m going to ask her to prescribe me a new retinol—not because my skin breaks out regularly, but because I have deep forehead lines that need reversing (I laugh a lot, what can I say?) and I’m just not into the idea of Botox (no judgment if you are). For those who don’t need as strong a retinol, I do like Drunk Elephant’s A-Passioni Retinol Cream and also Algenist’s Retinol Serum.

Drunk Elephant products are pricey, so I’d recommend you go with a sampler kit like this one before investing in the full-sized products to see what you like. But I’m fully on that bandwagon now, as I’ve been using them for nearly a year, and my skin feels so clean and fresh daily (plus, their products are non-irritating and non-toxic).

When I Travel, Here’s My Beauty Kit

My friend Christie, to whom I also go for skincare tips, made me envious of how organized her beauty kit always is, so I threw out my old caddy and bought this hanging organizer instead. I keep it hanging in my bathroom and each section is organized by theme: first aid (Band-Aids, medicine, prescriptions, etc.), dental hygiene, shampoo and conditioner, hair products and skincare. It’s always ready to go when I need to pack my suitcase, and this way, I never forget anything, which I was inevitably doing before. I also now use this little $8 seven-day pill organizer for my prescriptions, which has reduced the chance of me forgetting one bottle since I’m on so many daily allergy meds.

For this, I typically use Sephora samples I get when I’m stocking up or I buy mini-kits of products I use that are under three ounces. Nothing will get me to check a bag when I travel, so I find it’s always easier to be prepared. Some kits of minis I’ve used and love:

Algenist Discovery Kit (which includes the retinol, a serum, an eye cream and more)

Drunk Elephant’s The Littles (which includes a small version of every one of the products I use of theirs)

Tatcha Pore-Perfecting Duo (I use this for my cleanser and moisturizer when traveling)

What You Eat DOES Matter

Doing food elimination diets for my autoimmune disease means that I’ve seen firsthand how my skin reacts to certain foods, dairy in particular. And while we are mostly dairy-free day-to-day—we long ago, started making our own almond, cashew and coconut milk—neither one of us is one to turn down sour cream or cheese, and if I’m at a fancy coffee shop, I’ll occasionally opt for real creamer as opposed to oat milk or cashew substitute.

But if I’m consuming dairy or sugar on the regular, you better believe my skin reflects it. I get large breakouts around my mouth and jawline, and it’s just not pretty. Again, I’m a big fan of these cheap, but totally efficient Nexcare acne patches to get ride of isolated breakouts quickly (note: this is the only beauty product I buy via Amazon as my local Walgreens doesn’t carry it—but yours might). You can’t beat $6 a box! Target also carries the CosRx brand ($5 for 18) that beauty bloggers swear by.

Dermaplaning

I’ve had professional dermaplaning three times, and little has given my skin quite the glow as removing all the peach fuzz and dead skin cells. I absolutely love the effect of dermaplaning, but the problem is that it only lasts about two weeks (at least for me), and it is not cheap. Instead, these days I do weekly at-home dermaplaning with a variety of tools:

Stacked Skincare dermaplaning tool

Level Setter Razors

Tinkle Hair Removal Razors

Stacked is by far the most efficient, but it’s also very sharp, so proceed with caution. The $10 drugstore brands work fine to just get your face smoother for applying serums and creams; not having that layer of fuzz and dead skin definitely helps your products soak in more (and your makeup to go on more smoothly if you’re a daily makeup-wearer).

Microblading & Your Brows

So far I’ve yet to find a brow-grow product that fills in the patchy parts of the brows I overplucked in my teen years. Ladies, why did we not listen to our mothers? *face palm*

I’ve tried Shisheido, Rapid Brow and Sephora—none of which have done anything for me. I finally ordered the two-part GrandeBrow Brow and Lash Enhancing Serums from Sephora, and still nothing. One eyebrow got thicker, I’ll give it that, but the problem brow stayed, well, problematic. So, if you have an effective eyebrow serum, help a girl out, will you? I’m thinking of asking my derm for a Latisse prescription next time I’m in as nothing OTC seems to work.

I would love to try microblading, and honestly was going to do it years ago until I found out you have to get touch-ups once to twice a year. While I’m OK paying $500 for something that has a semi-permanent effect, paying $500 and then hundreds of dollars for touch-ups every quarter or bi-annually is just an investment I’m not ready to make yet (plus, the thought of getting my brows tattooed freaks SVV out to no end). But if you have thoughts on microblading or success stories, please let me know in the comments!

What’s worked for you when it comes to your skin? I’m constantly learning how to take care of myself after years of neglecting my skin, so share your favorite tips or products, pretty please!

At 35, I Started Caring About My Skin — Here’s My Routine published first on https://medium.com/@OCEANDREAMCHARTERS

[r-o-se]

A bit less than 101 comment summary abt produce 101 season 2 ep 6  [watch it here]

Noone even reads those anymore but I like doing them so you know what fuck it lol 

1.      Omg this subber adds full names and ent companies I’m in love theyre just showing the rankings rn

2.      The benefit is now 10k for the team that gets 1st place by individual points but the 1st place trainees for each category is 100 fucking 000

3.      The position songs are

a.      RAP- Zico – Boys and Girls // iKON – Rhythm Ta // SMTM – I’m not the person you used to know // Mino – Fear

b.      VOCAL – BoA – Amazing Kiss // SJung Seunghwan – If it was you // Blackpink – Playing with Fire // BTS – Spring day // I.O.I – Downpour

c.      DANCE – Ed Sheeran – Shape of You // Flo Rida – Right Round // Jason Derulo – Get Ugly // NSync – POP

4.      Good luck kiddos the choosing is hidden so they won’t see who chose what before they’ve chosen themselves

5.      Seungwoo just dragged my baby Hyunbin through mud and said he doesn’t wanna be in a dance team with him again lol I understand him fully though aahahahahha

6.      Samuel just said he’s a bit afraid of Jihoon so he wants to avoid him but they’re in the same team again aaaaaaahahahhahaha  THIS IS SO CUTEE

7.      Hyungseob didn’t want eigher but GET FUCKED AAHAHAH ALL HIGH RANKED DANCERS ARE IN GET UGLY SEUNGWOO AND DANIEL AND HYUNGSEOB AND JIHOON AND SAMUEL

8.      PLAYING WITH FIRE TEAM AKA REN DAEHWI SEWOON ANDDDDDDDD BAEKHO

9.      FUCKING GOD DAEHWIS FACE WHEN BAEKHO WENT INTO THE PLAYING WITH FIRE TEAM AHAHA LIL KID SO SCARED

10.   Hyunbin is up and BoA is like…. Bro u alright?? U sure about this?

11.   BOI IS GONNA SING AAHAHAH FUCK DUMBO ITS IOI DOWNPOUR

12.   Big Woojin was the last to choose Get Ugly and closes it goddamn

13.   Gunhees mouth opens so wide holy shit

14.   ALL VOCAL POSITIONS GOT TAKEN BEFORE WOODAM COULD CHOOSE IM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED THIS IS SO SAD IM SO SORRY BABY BABY HES CRYING THIS IS SO DEPRESSING

15.   Fuck this show I’m so so sad how could they do this to Woodam

16.   Everyone are looking forward to Playing with Fire Team bc they all know how arranging music works

17.   Baekho: Disagrees w Sewoon

Mnet: *tense aggressive music* *montage of angry eyed Baekho* *red filter*

18.   This team has troubles with agreeing on the style of the stage

19.   IM A BOY YOU ARE A GIRL IM A BOY BUT YOU ARE A GIRL

20.   This stage has Alpaca Youngmin, BNM Donghyun and Dongbin the crybaby

21.   But it looks like theyre having disagreements too RIP

22.   Dongbin doesn’t even know how to rap baby why did you go there someone save Youngmin

23.   JINWOOS TEAM YE BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

24.   Mnet is tryna pit Jinwoo and Seongri againste eachother aahahah fuck off anyways Seongri is the center

25.   Kim Yehyeon just gave everyone a full course in music theory and composition WELL FUCKING DONE DUDE YOU GOT MY RESPECT

26.   Save Yongguk who others haven’t even noticed before I NOTICED U I STILL LOVE U IM A PESSIMIST TOO WE CAN BE NEGATIVE TOGETHER

27.    This team works so well and sweet together I love it

28.   Shape of you team now with Noh Taehyun and oldie tiptoes Seongwoo and Namhyung and Justin and others

29.   Taehyun doesn’t wanna teach anyone because he hates teaching but good fucking luck with thet aahahah

30.   They’re doing expressions to figure out the leader its so EMBARRASSING AAHAH AWWW

31.   JUSTIN YOURE 15 FUCCKING STOP WHAT THE HELLL IS THAT FACE

32.   TAEHYUN IS CENTER AND LEADER U DESERVE IT BOYO HE STARTS CHOREOGRAPHING RIGHT AWAY AND HES SO FASTTT DANCE GOD

33.   JR TEAM

34.   Baby was right away like ‘I don’t think I can be center so forget me’ but Guanlin and Moonbok want the position so that’s a thing

35.   Jr thinks Guanlin fits the center and eventho Moonbok wanted the position too he didn’t say anything because he wants to ggive others a chance ngl I really have started to like Moonbok hes friendly and not as annoying as I thought before

36.   ITS JINWOOS TEAMMMMM MY BOY LOOKIN FINE AS HELLLL DOIN DUMB POSES

37.   Everyone are shook while practicing cause their harmonies are so gooddd

38.   Kim Yongguk is a baby with low self esteem but he improved a loootttt I’m PROUD HE GOT PRAISED BY SEOKHOON

39.   During the actual concert BoA is in Japan doing a concert so she’s gonna oversee everyone rn which is really nice of her

40.   EVEN BOA PRAISED YONGGUK IM SO PROUD

41.   Ok but they aren’t giving the others screentime at all which is a bit sad IDK I WANNA SEE OTHERS TOO

42.   THE OTHER TEAM BOYS ARE CHEERING FOR EACHOTHER THIS IS SO CUTEEEE

43.   Jinwoo just sitting there being pretty is enough to make my day ngl AND HIS VOICEEEE

44.   ‘your body will react now’ my what anyways its right round time

45.   Cheetah is so adorable this season anyways this stage is LIT AND DAEHWI IMMITATING THEM IS CUTE AS FUCK AND THEYRE SYNCED AS HELLLLL

46.   They keep filming one girl in the audience I stg she gets more screentime than most trainees

47.   If Hwiseung and Byunmin get eliminated I’m gonna be Real Fuckin Sad

48.   Eunki is the leader and wants to be the new Bang Bang team

49.   Besides him, the team has Haknyeon plus Hwiseung and Hwanoong and K-Tiger Hyunmin and some others as well, Hwanoong is the center which makes Haknyeon salty ripppp

50.   Eunki has a death wish I stg he picks on Haknyeon and obvi Mnet grasped onto it and bam evil edit eventho Eunki has a reason to pick, Haknyeon is kind of behind on the choreo eventho he has a point since he doesn’t have a big part

51.   Eunki and Haknyeon talked it out I’m glad and everything goes really well and smoothly on the practice stage IM SO HAPPY

52.   THE PERFORMANCE HAS SUCH GOOD ENERGYYYY also they did scorption dance but didn’t fully show it?? Mnet the fuck

53.   HYUNMIN IS SO LIT I LOVE HIM AND HAKNYEON GOT TO DO KISSY FACES AT THE CAMERAAAAA

54.   Boys and girls Donnghyunnnnnnn is a CUTIE CUTIE but bnm kids are worried about the high standards everyone have for them goddamnit Dongbin poor baby

55.   BIG WOOJIN WENT AND HELPED THEIR TEAM WITH DONGBIN TOO BABYYYYYY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

56.   DAEHWI IS SO CUTE JAMMING ALONGGGG THEIR STAGE IS SO GOOD I LOVE ITTTTT

57.   Kinda sad that they don’t have the iconic IM A BOY YOU ARE A GIRL IM A BOY BUT YOU ARE A GIRL chorus but it’s the stage itself is good and DONGBIN IS STILL ALIVE AND SMILING AND DONGHYUN IS SO GORGEOUSSSSS FUCKKKKKK AND YOUNGMIN IS FUCKING OWNING IT I LOVE HIM

58.   A trend that needs to stop: Leaders blaming themselves for everything and apologizing for first place

59.   SHAPE OF YOU TEAM YOOO BOYYYYYYYYYY IM LOOKING FOWARD TO THIS HARD eventho I already saw the vid of how they got evil edited and screentime cut and whatnot

60.   Oh nooooooo it’s a dance battle obvi Taehyun is out there fuckin KILLIN it best dancer in broduce I stg I LOVE HIMMMM everyone are thinking he will win first dance position

61.   EUNKI AND PARK WOOJIN AND ONG KILLED IT TOOOO HOLY FUCKING SHIT

62.   Their team has a loooot of small mistakes which makes me sad and yeah exactly as the vid said, they didn’t give them screentime and fucking cut out the killing part I’m so angry

63.   THE CHOREO IS SO GOOD I LOVE NOH TAEHYUN SO MUCH THEY FILMED THE SYNCCED LINEUP STUFF FROM THE SIDE WHY ON EARTH WHY DOES MNET HATE THEIR GROUP

64.   The crowd is shouting encore…. Is this why Mnet evil edited them…. Jesus fucking Christ I’m so angry

65.   THE KIDS ARE SO HYPE ABOUT BEING CALLED FOR ENCORE THIS IS SO CUTEEEE TAEHYUN GOT FIRST HES SO SO WORTHY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE REALLY DESERVES IT

66.   The others are still so happy for Taehyun this team has such good teamwork I’m cryin Mnet fuckin rudeeeee

67.   MINO FEAR UP W MY BOYSSSSS JR MOONBOK GUANLIN KIM TAEMIN

68.    Save Guanlin who can’t perform well in front of teachers I UNDERSTAND U BOO I GET IT AND HE GOT EVEN PRAISED BABYYY

69.   Their entire team got pencils in their mouths CUTIESSS

70.   Can’t believe Guanlin has two NU’EST guardians now god bless JR and Baekho BOA PRAISED HIS PRONOUNCIATION IM SO HAPPY I LOVE JR GOD BLESS NATIONS LEADER

71.   Taemin has been a trainee for 5 years????? Holy shit SAVE THIS BOY I’M SAD

72.   Moonbok made his rap for Hyunwoo bc he’s sad IM SAD TOO AAA

73.   ALL OF THEIR RAPS ARE SO EMOTIONAL WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO GOOD IM SAD

74.   NUEST  ARE ALL LOOKIN SAD KAHI IS BORDERLINE CRYING BAEKHOS LIPS TREMBLING IM EMOOOOO AS FUUUCKKKKK

75.   FUCKING DOGBIN BEING HOPELESS ABOUT NOT DEBUTING HYUNWOO IS IN THE CROWD CRYING AND MOONBOK IS BEING SAD THIS IS SO GOOD I LOVE THIS STAGE AAAAAAAAA

76.   ITS JINWOOS TEAMMMMM MY BOY LOOKIN FINE AS HELLLL DOIN DUMB POSES

77.   Everyone are shook while practicing cause their harmonies are so gooddd

78.   Kim Yongguk is a baby with low self esteem but he improved a loootttt I’m PROUD HE GOT PRAISED BY SEOKHOON

79.   During the actual concert BoA is in Japan doing a concert so she’s gonna oversee everyone rn which is really nice of her

80.   EVEN BOA PRAISED YONGGUK IM SO PROUD

81.   Ok but they aren’t giving the others screentime at all which is a bit sad IDK I WANNA SEE OTHERS TOO

82.   THE OTHER TEAM BOYS ARE CHEERING FOR EACHOTHER THIS IS SO CUTEEEE

83.   Jinwoo just sitting there being pretty is enough to make my day ngl AND HIS VOICEEEE

84.   ‘your body will react now’ my what anyways its right round time

85.   Its basically the exact same footage as before Haknyeon vs Eunki

86.   Cheetah is so adorable this season anyways this stage is LIT AND DAEHWI IMMITATING THEM IS CUTE AS FUCK AND THEYRE SYNCED AS HELLLLL

87.   They keep filming one girl in the audience I stg she gets more screentime than most trainees

88.   If Hwiseung and Byunmin get eliminated I’m gonna be Real Fuckin Sad

89.   ITS BLACKPINK STAGE TIME YE BOIIIIIIIIIIII It’s Baekho, Ren, Daehwi and Sewoon

90.   They got some problems with Sewoon playing guitar but it all GOOD they got em solved

91.   Ren got shades on lookin like the love child of Zion.T and Lady gaga

92.   Daehwi just blowed some red god damn CONFETTI it looks GOOD AS HELL YOOO THAT BOY LOOKS FUCKING FINE HERE

93.   Ren was last, Sewoon third, Baekho second and Daehwi first

94.   Cant believe Sewoon and Daehwi got over their Baekhophobia tru character development

95.   GET UGLY STAGE HOLY SHITTTT ALL THE POPULAR KIDS THERE

96.   Danik my dude doin all sorts of handstand bboy things bruh I bet his arms look hella nice

97.   THEY JUST CUT IT!! JUST LIKE THAT! NO FUCK

[amorjihope]

#1-116 😎😎😎

*cracks knuckles* are you ready for this?

yes? then let’s begin

1. Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I’m not really confused about anything so idk??

2.Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? on occasion yeah, and most of the time a collective group text of good morning from ot7

3.If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? not unless it became excessive and hinting at a addiction, then no, not really

4.Do you find it easy to trust others? no, definitely not, but it does seem easier with fellow kpoppers, idk why

5.What were you doing at 11PM last night? I was working on my first square for taegi bingo and talking to ot7 about shinee (? i think it was shinee it was probs jihope instead tbh)

6.You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? …mmm I don’t drink and I don’t plan on drinking or getting drunk at any point in time tbh so this is question is moot

7.What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? lol what I’ve done all the other times I suppose, leave my s/o and move on. cheating happens and there’s no real point of pinpointing the blame on anybody (especially yourself) for it. It’s all pretty pointless cause your s/o was just being a coward and not telling you they weren’t happy in the relationship so yeah

8.Are you close with your dad? not really no

9. I bet you kissed someone last night, right? no, I wish

10.What are you listening to? Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls (’:

11.You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? water, you know, so I don’t die an early death *shrugs*

12.Do you like hickeys? I’ve never had any before, but I think they’d look really good on my chest *wink wonk*

13.What time do you go to bed? two or three am

14.Is there someone who continuously lets you down? yes

15.Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? yep, all thanks to years of practice lol

16.Do you always answer your texts? late, but yes, I always answer

17.Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? no, I mean I am dating her so I don’t really think I hate my girlfriend

18.When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? oh man, my highschool best friends I talked to yesterday, my current best friends tho I’m talking to now as I answer all these questions (thx syd lmao)

19.Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? have you ever heard of these talented, beautiful, and wonderful boys named Jung Hoseok, Kim Seokjin, and Min Yoongi? Because I have and they light up my world with one breath (ok but seriously, yeah, pics of bts and astro and mx make me happy as hell and when I see my girlfriend, I feel like the happiest person on Earth)

20.What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? non-binary yoongi.

21.Is anyone else in the room with you? my little brother and sister and my doggo

22.Do you believe what goes around comes around? yep and what’s coming around is this fist! lol but yeah I do think that when you do something horrible, it’ll come back to bite you in the ass ‘cause that’s just how life works

23.Were you happier four months ago than you are now? no

24.Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? my mom

25.In the past week, have you cried? I was literally crying over seokjin and top like two hours ago o; and I mean real ugly tears too

26.What colour is the shirt you are wearing? black and white

27.Do people ever call you by your last name? no, they can’t pronounce it

28.Is anyone ignoring you right now? yeah lol shout out to my ex who I texted back in early december trying to dump and he never responded nor read my text ;p

29.Do you have a best friend? I have multiple

30.Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? no, I mean he kissed me without my consent so I think it would only be hard for me to not kick his ass to be honest

31. Who was your last call/text message from? anahi!

32.Are you mad at anyone? Yeah, sorta

33.Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes

34. answered here

35.How many more days until your birthday? 169!

36.Do you have any summer plans yet? yep! roadtrip with a friend and!!! roadtrip to go see my ollie bear at work as a life guard :D @suga-peaches

37. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? uh, sex or gender?(they’re different so) the only male friend I have is Maxie @joonphases

38.Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? no, secrets and half-truths aren’t my thing

39.Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? no, I’m an extremely blunt person and have shared everything about me with some person or other so

40.Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No. Have I ever regretted allowing someone who has kissed me without consent getting close to me though? HELL YEAH

41.Do you think age matters in relationships? well in most cases, no, but in terms of laws and consent, yes. I don’t think a mere child should be taken advantage of by their twenty year old boyfriend. If you’re like twenty five and dating a forty year old then no age doesn’t matter. It all depends on context I suppose

42. Are you available? nope :3

43. How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Well since this isn’t asking specifically about romantic feelings, 7

44. If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? I already have ten piercings (mostly ears) but I’d like to get my nipples pierced to be honest that or my other nostril

45.Do you believe exes can be friends? most definitely! i’m still friends with like five of my exes

46.Do you regret anything? No. If I did, then I wouldn’t really be living then, would I?

47.Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? jihope being married. non-binary yoongi. jihope being married. ace!kook. jihope being married. ot7. jihope being married. kim seokjin. food. JIHOPE BEING M-A-R-R-I-E-D.

48.Did you ever lose a best friend? yep

49.Was your last kiss a mistake? The last kiss that I gave, no. The last kiss I received, hell yeah.

50.Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Well, I don’t really think he’s interested and I’d rather not pull the poly card on my gf so soon

51.Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? I’m going to say yes, considering I’ve known her since the fourth grade, but tbh I’m not sure o:

52.Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Well we’re going to a dance recital on v-day so I hope we’re still talking o:

53.What was the last thing you ate? a rice crispy bar

54.Did you get any compliments today? yes, ot7 showers me in them daily because they are amazing human beans who like to activate my praise kink often

55.Where are you going on your next vacation? what’s a vacation?

56. answered here

57.Are most of your friend guys or girls? neither! I have mostly non-binary and genderfluid friends (:

58.Where have you lived most of your life? I’ve never taken a step out of California

59.When was the last time you took a long drive? never, I should though

60.Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? nope

61.Have you ever TPd someone’s house? um, has anyone ever actually done this??

62.Who do you text the most? anahi for texting, but I talk to ot7 the most through kkt and I only message you syd here on tumblr cause I’m a loser lol

63.What was the last movie you saw? HP and the Deathly Hallows pt 2

64.What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? she’s never had one??? and if I get my wish, she never will

65.How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? oh god how old was I in 2011 omg what grade was I in back then was it 7th grade?? idk I had like ten probably I’ve never really kept track

66.Is the last person you kissed younger than you? no

67.Do you curse around your parents? yep

68.Are you happy with where you live? no

69.Picture of yourself? oh man I hope your nuts are prepared

70.Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I’m poly, but it doesn’t mean I condone cheating or using poly as a scapegoat to excuse cheating either. Cheating is cheating and poly has nothing to do with it.

71.Have you ever been dumped? once

72.What do you most like about making out? framing the other person’s face with both my hands, it feels intimate and really nice and I like it a lot

73.Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Oh yeah, definitely. Its called experimenting *wink wonk*

74.When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Yeah, I like being in control, but I still ask if I can kiss them so

75.What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Hands, tummy and thighs oh lord, but when I’m feeling super soft then tummy, hands, thighs, and eyes

76.Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Momma and ollie bear! @portscutie @suga-peaches

77.Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? Never had sex

78. answered here

79.What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? Jung Hoseok. Yoonminseok. Kim Seokjin. Namyoonjin. Min Yoongi. My girlfriend. Jihope. Choi Youngjae. OT7 (and not in that order).

80. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? yeah, having children shouldn’t affect the feelings that people have for one another and honestly if they already had kids that would be a big weight off my shoulders. You learn a lot about someone from the way they treat their child(ren).

81.Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? yep

82.Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? not really

83.Do you miss your last sweetie? nope lol

84.Last time you slow danced with someone? last january at formal with my girlfriend who was just my best friend back then

85.Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? why is dated being quoted? long-distance relationships are just as valid as face-to-face relationships (sometimes even better) and yes, I’ve been in a few

86.How can I win your heart? you have to be my girlfriend, my platonic date friend (@joonphases) who hangs in my night sky, or Jung Hoseok, there is no in between

87. What is your astrological sign? Leo!

88.What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Ranting about the feminization of Seokjin in most fics and how he’s automatically pegged as the bottom (because of being feminized) and just how harmful that is to the lgbtaq+ community. Oh and then crying over Seokjin and how this fandom doesn’t treat him half of how he should really be treated which is equivalent to royalty because KIM SEOKJIN IS A KING. A KING I TELL YOU AND I’M GOING TO GET THAT TATTOOED

89.Do you cook? yep, since I was five

90. answered here

91.If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? this question is void

92.Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? various, but they’re generally pretty serious so it’s all just one big poly lovefest that’s really warm and comforting I never get into serious relationships quickly tho, those are bound to fail most of the time when you rush into them

93.What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? physical traits aren’t important when determining my interest in someone

94.Name four things that you wish you had! my own room, a personal library, a chance to meet ot7 at the same time, and a chance to tell bangtan how much I love and appreciate everything that they do and hope that they always take care of themselves

95.Are you a player? no, that’s childish af

96.Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yep, my record is two seconds lol

97.Are you a tease? sometimes

98.Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? not yet, but time will tell

99.Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? I am right now

100.Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? oh most definitely, my lovely ot7 @portscutie @suga-peaches @joonphases @bangtans-snail @mochirapgod @sofarawcy (I love you guys so much, hi loves)

101.Hugs or Kisses? kisses, they’re sweeter, but hugs are more tender so both

102.Are you too shy to ask someone out? lol definitely not

103.The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? their hair

104.Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? if I like them, yeah

105.If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? fuck no, i’d punch them for even trying to coerce me into helping them cheat on their s/o. plus, wtf does being “sexy” have to do with it? you could be as good looking as Kim Seokjin himself and i’d still drop kick your ass for trying to pull that shit

106.Do you flirt a lot? oh, yeah, lots

107.Your last kiss? with my gf on the cheek

108.Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? yes

109.Have you kissed anyone in the past month? no

110.If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Min Yoongi. In that order and then all together all at once.

111.Do you know who you’ll kiss next? *waves flag* gf

112.Does someone like you currently? I’d hope so, considering I’m in a fully committed relationship

113.Do you currently have feelings for anyone? fucc yeah fam

114. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I don’t do flings

115.Ever made out with just a friend? plenty

116.Are you happier single or in a relationship? neither?? I’m happy with myself regardless of my relationship status and honestly you should never allow your happiness to be determined by another person

wow i can’t believe i finally did it o: you’re lucky i love you syd also i’m still working out the details about your care package but i love you sweet bub

please excuse any typos, its late and i’m tiredt ok ok woot love you all! don’t be afraid to ask me other things in my ask!! I talk to two people on tumblr and that’s it. i need freeeeendz

ALSO LONG LIVE JIHOPE THE MARRIED COUPLE ; - ;

xo rose

[nol-overwatch]

Writer’s Callus, Chapter Two

Fandom: Durarara!!, Baccano

Pairing: Shizuo Heiwajima / Original Female Character

Tags: Mystery, Romance, Drama, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, not too sure what else to put without it spoiling too much.

Synopsis:  A foreigner visits Ikebukuro for the first time. She’s only supposed to be there for a few days and then return home, but this is Ikebukuro after all. The city of gang violence, flying sign posts, and unorthodox sushi. Those aren’t the only things keeping her entranced; it’s when she met a certain blond in a bartender’s outfit, that she started wanting more out of her mundane life.

You can read it here on AO3 and FanFiction.

—

‘My memory is not like the other one

Turn to strike my face

Always second place’

The young woman calmly turned off the alarm clock. She would’ve let it play for a bit longer, but the events of yesterday came rushing back at her, and she smiled at that.

She slowly sat up, her green eyes blinking slowly as she surveyed the hotel room she’s staying in. Her hotel, Sunshine City Prince, was a little too fancy for her tastes, despite it being a 3-star hotel. She very much preferred staying at a local bed and breakfast, but of course, her family wouldn’t allow it.

The sky outside her window was a pale blue color, with a slight pink tint and light gray clouds dotting the distance. ‘It’s a nice day to go out exploring,’ She thought as she carded fingers over her messy auburn locks. As she stretched her limbs, her hand landed on the familiar leather bound journal she kept at her side.

Her fingers skimmed the surface; the large print on the cover read ‘READ THIS’ and she figured ‘no, there’s no need this time’. Not with how the day started like this. With a satisfied sigh, she picked up the book and set it aside on the table next to her bed.The time on the clock read 7:03 am. She can grab her breakfast at the convenience store by the park, as she wanted to eat while watching the people of this city.

Ren turned on the TV, managing to catch up to a local morning show, while she washed up, changed out of her negligee and into her usual shirt and slacks. She packed light, knowing her family would provide her some appropriate clothes for the funeral, but she also thought of shopping for clothes here, as well as the souvenirs she’s bound to bring home.

“...the Slasher has claimed two more victims—”

The young woman looked up from the sink just in time to see a glimpse of the TV through the bathroom mirror. ‘A slasher? In a place like this?’ She wondered as she dried her face and let the towel rest on her neck. She then leaned on the doorway of her bathroom and watched the news.

What looked like a pixelated mess was first shown on the screen, until Ren realized it was just a close-up shot of the victim’s bodies. “I’m here at the west entrance to Ikebukuro Station where the crime happened.” There was a reporter in front of the ambulance, and behind her was a haphazard mess of yellow tape and police officers. It might be the camera angle, but Ren knew the place must be swamped with commuters and onlookers, especially since it’s situated at one of the busiest subways in the country. Traffic must be a pain in the ass right now.

She sat back on the bed and picked up her journal out of reflex. She was already rifling through the pages when a frown creased her face. The news of a slasher in the area worries her a lot. Should she write that down, just in case?  ‘Might be a good idea. Who knows, it might save my life.’ She thought as she reached over her bedside table for a pen, when the telephone rang.

She tilted her head, curious as to who would call her at this time, and reached for the phone instead. “Hello?” Ren said, then realized she spoke in English rather than in Japanese. She coughed awkwardly and apologized in the appropriate language. “Sorry, do you need something?”

“Good morning, Miss Shiori. This is the reception desk of Sunshine City Prince. We hope you’re having a wonderful stay.”

“G’morning. You have something for me?”

“Yes, you have a call from Mr. Masa Shiori, shall I refer the line to you?” Ren suddenly gripped the phone a little too tightly. ‘To think he would be calling already.’ Her eyes narrowed as she resisted grinding her teeth. Right, this is something she’s bound to face since coming here anyway.

“Miss?” She clicked her tongue and forced herself to smile. Yeah, it’s inevitable, but that doesn’t mean she has to face them right away. “...No, tell him I went out.”

“Understood, miss. Have a pleasant day.” There was a soft click, and the call ended. Ren then threw the phone on the bed with more force than necessary and massaged her temple. What an awful start to what should be a nice day. The family meeting’s not until the day after tomorrow, but not even a full day has passed and that annoying miscreant of a brother of hers is already ruining it for her. She wanted at least a few days to herself, but now she has to figure out a way to avoid him until then.

“Okay, first things first.” She said as she grabbed her journal once again. It’s imperative that she must write this down. At least, she was about to, when a loud growling sound from her stomach distracted her thoughts. Ren sheepishly smiled to herself; weirdly enough, that seemed to calm her nerves a bit.

“First things first,” She instead grabbed her coat, her wallet, and most importantly, her journal, and strode out of her hotel room. “Let’s get some breakfast.”

—

It didn’t matter that he turned in early, Shizuo was still late for his job.

He chanted a mantra in his head, urging himself to calm down before he’d get infuriated over something as trivial as a delayed train. Honestly, he should’ve just walked in the first place. Then he wouldn’t have to think of turning the place upside down, that would make things a whole lot worse.

Shizuo stalked the streets with a half-lit cigarette, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets. He already texted Tom, but even that guy’s also late because of the delayed trains. ‘What a shitty day.’ He bitterly thought as he impatiently waited for the pedestrian light to turn green.

Sunshine 60 shopping street is just as busy as it usually is. The morning rush was starting to die down, despite the chaos that happened this morning regarding the Slasher. Shizuo thought, since it’ll be awhile til Tom-san meets up with him, he might as well get something to drink. Ah, right, he should stock up on his cigarettes. A few nights ago, he once smoked through a whole pack after chasing a certain flea out of the city. That really stressed the hell out of him.

Shizuo slipped into the first convenience store he saw, right across the usual place he and Tom would often meet. “Welcome,” The store clerk greeted him just as the blond nodded and immediately headed over towards the vending machines selling his favorite brand.

It was then he saw that person again, his whole world slowing to a momentary pause.

They were still wearing the same outfit as yesterday, though it looks like they didn’t style their hair properly; it was tousled to the side revealing more of their face. Now that he’s standing so close, he can see that they’re probably a young woman, around his age. She looked as if she was contemplating something, and stood in front of the vending machine he was aiming for.

‘Her eyes are closed again.’ Thought Shizuo, and immediately he shook his head. The hell was he thinking all of a sudden? Who gives a damn whether he can see her eyes or not. He sighed loudly, moving to the next vending machine so he could get his cigs then get out. This day’s not going into his favor, huh.

He started punching in buttons, when suddenly, he heard her speak up. “...Blue American Spirit.”

“Ah?”

He swiveled his head to her side, and he was shell-shocked once again. Frankly, she wasn’t even looking at him, but at the vending machine he was using. And it was only then he got a clear view of those pale green eyes of hers, ones that continue to stop him in his tracks for god-knows-why.

It really was a question that has plagued him since last night. Why? Why is he acting like this towards a complete stranger? It was a surreal, almost familiar feeling.

Kinda like...the first time he met Celty, his mysterious transporter friend. No, he’s quite sure, it felt exactly like that feeling.

Unaware of the emotional turmoil brewing at this guy’s head, the young woman tapped her chin and continued to stare at the row of different cigarette brands in the machine with remarkable interest. “That brand seems to be incredibly popular here. That must mean their investment would do well then.” She said quietly, her gaze unmoving.

‘What a weird woman.’ Shizuo concluded. This city is full of strangers and weirdos, and this one didn’t seem to be an exception. “Lady, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He grumbled as he adjusted his blue sunglasses. “But lemme just buy my shit, alright?” He turned to face her, but suddenly flinched when he found her looking at him directly.

What, did he assume wrong? Is she actually a pretty boy? He mentally shuddered. Tom, and even that oddball Shinra, did tell him to be careful when addressing someone based on their looks. A lot of people would take offense if they were addressed wrongly, however this one didn’t seem the slightest bit offended. Rather, her lip curled into an apologetic smile as she slowly shook her head.

“Mhm, go ahead then. Please excuse my rambling.” She bowed politely and walked off to another aisle. Shizuo slowly went back to buying his pack, his mind rewinding back to what just happened. That was definitely a foreigner; her Japanese is perfect but there’s an underlying accent there that he can’t quite place. Unlike Simon, his Russian friend who works at a sushi place and has a distinct accent, she sounded American.

His brow ticked in annoyance. There he goes again, thinking about this stranger. He should tell Tom when they meet up, ask for his advice on what to do before this becomes a problem. Shizuo finally got his pack, and went towards the back where the refrigerated drinks were kept. He grabbed a carton of milk, and sauntered over to the counter to pay for it.

That auburn-haired woman was there too, having her items checked out. She got a carton of milk as well, albeit it’s the fruity one, and three spicy tuna onigiris. It also looked like she was rummaging wildly into her pockets, “That’s odd. I swear I brought it along with me…” She muttered to herself as she started emptying her pockets. Both Shizuo and the store clerk deadpanned at the stuff she was placing on the counter: candy wrappers, spare change, a book, a brochure for a museum, two subway maps, and what looked like hotel keys.

‘Why can’t she just use a bag to hold her stuff?!’ The both of them had the same thought.

“Ah! Here we go.” Finally, she procured a small, colorful card with a flourish. “I can use this point card here, right?” She beamed as the clerk hesitantly separated her stuff from the food on the counter.

“Y-yes, miss…”

The cashier started putting her items in a plastic bag just as she began cleaning up the mess she made. If Shizuo didn’t think she was unusual before, now he thinks she’s got a few screws loose. ‘Not the first time I met someone like that. ’ He thought as he silently watched their exchange with a bored expression.

“Here you go, miss. Please come again.”

Plastic bag in hand, she thanked the cashier and, to the blond’s surprise, tilted her head to face him once again. Still that apologetic smile on her face, but a little wider and much more relaxed, she gave him a small, informal salute. “Sorry to keep the line waiting!” She chuckled before quickly leaving the store. The man stared after her, eyes blinking in confusion.

‘That a tourist thing?’ He wondered as he paid for his pack of cancer sticks and his milk. He declined the plastic bag, deciding to consume it immediately after buying it. That, and Tom must be waiting for him at the usual place.

“Oh,” The voice of the cashier snapped Shizuo from his thoughts. “That woman forgot this.” He said, holding up a worn-out, leather bound book. The blond recognized it as the one she was digging out from her pockets, and it looked like the same one she was reading last night too.

Without thinking, he grabbed the book out of the cashier’s hands and bolted out of the store. He almost bumped into someone in his hurry, but Shizuo didn’t give it any thought as his gaze swiveled up and down the shopping street, looking for that particular auburn head. He’s tall enough to look over the heads of the average person, but damn, there’s still so many people walking by this way. “Damn it…” He cursed as he squinted at the distance. She can’t have gone too far, but…

“Huh, Shizuo?” He heard a familiar voice and he followed it to one Tom Tanaka, who was curiously looking at him in front of the store. “What’s up? What are you—”

Shizuo interrupted him. “Tom-san, did you see someone walk out just now?” His sudden question made the man in the dreads scratch his chin in contemplation. “Huh? No, not really. I just got here myself.” He replied as Shizuo continued to look up and down the street. No good. There really is no sign of her. Usually by now he would have noticed that certain hair color, or that mysterious aura of hers.

Or even just the uncanny way her eyes would stare, as if she’s seeing the depths of his soul.

Sighing, his shoulders drooped while he rubbed the back of his head. Tom frowned at him, then looked down towards the book he’s holding. “Does that...belong to them or something?”

“Yeah...idiot forgot it on the counter.” He clicked his tongue as he tucked the book under his armpit. He and Tom stood by the shade of a newspaper kiosk as the blond explained the situation to his boss.

Now, he’s stuck with that person’s possession. Should he return it to the store and have them take care of it? He pondered over the thought until the older man spoke up, “Well, if it bothers you so much, why not try and read it? Their name might be in there, or maybe an address.”

“Oh, yeah. You might be right.” Said Shizuo, who grasped it on hand again and rifled through the pages. His eyebrows then shot up above his glasses, and the next, frowned deeply. Tom was in the middle of checking out a magazine from the kiosk stand when he noticed his bodyguard’s alternating expressions.

“What’s wrong? Is it not there?”

“...No, it’s just...” The blond then held the book wide open and showed it to him, who peered at it carefully then did a double take.

“Don’t suppose you can read english, Tom-san?”

“Hell no, I didn’t even take it seriously during high school.”

“Me neither.”

He forgot he was dealing with a foreigner here. He sighed as he gingerly flipped through the pages. Even though it’s written entirely in english, what surprised him the most was the content of this book. He couldn’t understand a single word, but every page, every line, it’s written and filled completely to the point that the page started thinning under the weight of the ink. He figured, that person must’ve cared for this book a lot. She’s written on it so often to the point that it's sagging under the weight of overuse. When she finds out it’s missing, would she remember that she left it here? Is it actually a good idea just to leave it to the convenience store staff then?

Shizuo reached the last page, or what he thinks is the first page considering it’s a western book, and there on the very bottom of the page was a single line, two words. This must be her name, and he racked his brain trying to remember how to fucking read it.

Tom watched him glare at the page with intense concentration and sighed. He tried hiding an incoming smile, so as not to embarrass his subordinate. “We’re gonna be in Sunshine 60 for the whole day, so when they come back looking for it, you’ll spot them right away. Sound good?” He said in a reassuring tone, causing the other to finally calm down. Some of the tension left Shizuo’s face as he looked away and awkwardly adjusted his glasses.

“...Sounds good.”

—

It did sound like a good idea, until the sky darkened to a burgundy orange, and soon night would fall over the city of Ikebukuro.

And there’s still no sign of that weird foreigner lady.

He and Tom went through their usual routes. The pachinko parlors, the manga cafes, nondescript bars and clubs, each time had the same situation as the last. His boss would inform their clients of their debt, they’d bargain for another day or two, Tom would persist, and they would bring out some sob story explaining why they couldn’t pay today. And that’s where Shizuo would finally step up, at least, Tom would mention his name first, and if they didn’t budge, then yeah, he would step in and wreak havoc. He always hoped their clients would finally start thinking with their brains first and just pay up front already, but then again if they keep doing that, he might not have a job anymore.

Anyway, it was only after Tom told him it was the last client of the day that Shizuo then noticed the setting sun. He stopped by the same convenience store for the 5th time, and asked the clerk if she’s dropped by already. And every time, he received the same answer, “No, sorry she hasn't come back yet.”

Now he and Tom were having a late afternoon snack in front of the very same convenience store he kept visiting. Tom got himself a hot cup of coffee, and Shizuo with his usual bottle of cold milk.

He didn’t think this would already be a pain in the ass. Lugging it around was okay, but keeping an eye on it, making sure it doesn’t get lost, during their rounds, was something else entirely. Maybe he should’ve looked for someone who could understand the language. “Mhm,” Shizuo took a long drag out of the fifth cigarette he’s smoking today. “Does Celty know english..?” He contemplated out loud, as Tom started lighting his own after finishing his coffee.

“Why not try contacting her? As for me, I’ll see if anyone at the office knows the language.” The man in the dreads said as flipped open his phone, already typing in a text. Shizuo’s relieved that Tom’s on the same page as him; he didn’t even need to explain much. This is why he’s one of his few friends in this city.

The blond unflipped his phone, ready to text the Urban Legend herself when, just as quickly as the thought crossed his mind, he heard it. It’s the rush hour; people are coming home after a full day of work, or at least, hitting up Sunshine street. One would be hearing all sorts of things at this hour, the general conundrum’s almost deafening. However, he heard it immediately, the separate sound of running footsteps, light but hurried and obviously in a panic. Shizuo inclined his head towards that sound, and sure enough, it’s that woman again.

Her hair askew and matted with sweat, her green eyes were wildly looking around until she caught sight of the convenience store she stopped by earlier. She was about to run inside, when she realized too late she was going to crash into someone. “A-ah!” She gasped, stumbling over her feet as if she tried to stop herself, but in the end that person’s body’s becoming closer and closer she’s going to crash—

“Whoa, there.”

The woman blinked. For some reason, she was completely halted. She didn’t fall over too. What on earth..? “Hey, you okay?”

Shizuo gripped her shoulder, easily stopping her from crashing onto him. He crossed the street as soon as he saw that familiar auburn head, intending to call her out as soon as she’s within earshot, but saw instead that she might get into an accident with that kind of speed. Good thinking on him, to use his own body as some sort of wall.

Tom put down his phone, his bespectacled face surprised to see that the owner of that book is a woman, and a woman that seemed to make an impression on the blond as well.

She was panting, clearly out of breath from running, but she stared up at Shizuo with the mildest surprise. “Y-yeah, thank you…” She slowly said, finally standing up straight to look at him properly. The blond could see that she was scrutinizing every detail on him, and that drew a frown out of him. “Something on me?” He didn’t intend for it to sound menacing, but it did anyway, causing her to shake her head hurriedly.

“N-no, that’s not it! It’s just that….If I remember correctly, you’re that guy from this morning, right? Buying cigarettes at this store?” She gestured to the shop while he nodded along. “I know it’s far-fetched but have you seen a journal around here? It’s leatherbound, it has some printed letters at the front—” She went on to describe the appearance of the book, the very same book still tucked under his arm, and he wondered if she ever spotted it on his person.

She was still explaining, her voice growing frantic and weary. Doubts and hopeless thoughts were filling up her head, prompting her to trail away in her words. She looked as if she was on the verge of breaking down right in front of him.

Without another word, Shizuo handed her the book. She had stopped talking then, the mere appearance of the book sent her mouth agape, her lower lip quivering as she gripped it a little too tightly. “This...this is…” She started as she visibly shook.

The blond blinked. ‘Is she going to cry? Over this book of hers?’ He put up his hands, as if to calm down whatever’s coming, but then she looked up at him with a wide smile, tears pin pricking her viridescent orbs. “Thank you! Thank you so much..!” She exclaimed.

“Uh, I—”

“You have no idea…” He paused. “You have no idea how important this is to me…” She uttered as she brought the book closer to her chest. Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck. He always seemed to be tongue-tied around this woman. Not that she was a difficult person to deal with, rather it was as if he didn’t know how to interact with her. He looked at Tom for advice, but for some reason the dreadlocked man was looking away, his back turned on them while looking at some magazines on a nearby kiosk.

“Uh,” He awkwardly began. ‘If Tom won’t help me, then I might as well finish this on my own terms.’ “Sorry, I tried going through it.” She tilted her head at him, as he explained further. “I was looking for a name, or at least, an address, but then I couldn’t read english.”

She hummed thoughtfully at that. “Mhm, that’s okay. I know you’re only trying to help.”

She then rummaged into her pockets and procured a pen. Stepping closer to him, she opened the book right on the first page, where he thought the only two words there were her name. She calmly smiled at him, her otherwise spent appearance looking quite serene right now. “My name is…” On top of those two words, she wrote her own name in kanji.

Ren Shiori.

Shizuo read it over and over again. He thought that name fits her so well. “And you are?”

“The name’s Shizuo Heiwajima.” He replied bluntly. It’s been a while since he had to introduce himself, usually people in this city knew his name before he even got to do normal introductions. His name became a warning to those who are new to Ikebukuro, a warning to stay away from him.

So was it okay? For a foreigner or a tourist, to know his name so casually? That looks to be the case because Ren nodded at him with a tiny grin, the barest signs of apprehension visible on her face. “It’s nice to meet you, Shizuo.”

And in turn, she thought that name suited him well.

[willreadforbooze]

Hello!

Here’s our weekly wrap up from the WRFB crew =)

Ginny’s Updates:

Hi everyone, it’s been a great week. I went to go see My Brother, My Brother, and Me, and The Adventure Zone, and I even made it to the Ren Faire! I’m getting ready for a few book clubs and I”m trying to work my way through a few things.

Currently Reading:

Love a La Mode by Stephanie Kate Strohm: This is one of the books I’m reading for a book club. It’s about two teens that get accepted into a cooking school of some kind. I’m not super feeling it, but I am laughing that it was suggested by the person in the book club who would most hate having to read this book if someone else suggested it. (She somehow didn’t realize what the book would be about)

The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson: I literally just started this so I’m not really sure what it’s about. Reading the summary it sounds like our main character is super magic and is gonna be hunted down, but so far she just got married and does not seem happy that her husband is super attractive (mostly because she’s worried she doesn’t have much to offer, obviously this will be proved wrong).

Finished Reading:

Mine to Posses by Nalini Singh: This is book 4 of the Psy-Changeling series. Probably not my favorite. Clay and Talin have a slightly strange dynamic, and I kind of felt like the personal growth for both of them had weird timings. That being said, I love the plotlines that are moving between the books. 3.5/5

Breathless by Beverly Jenkins: This is the second book in the Old West Series. I read the first book a few weeks back and really enjoyed it. I liked the two characters in this book. Portia knows what she wants and is going to make sure she gets it. Kent has been humbled in his life and also knows what he wants. I will say this book struggles a little with telling rather than showing. The last few chapters of the book covered a lot of ground but it all felt like way too much. 3.5/5

Half a King by Joe Abercrombie: I felt a little leery about this book at first but it ended up being a solid read. Yarvi was going to go into religious service (basically) and ended up becoming a king. He also somehow manages to not do that well and becomes a slave and was determined to somehow get his throne back. The story brings in a delightful cast of characters and was in generally crazy enjoyable. 4/5

Artificial Condition by Martha Wells: This is the second book of the Murderbot series and boy is it great (do we have a review for this one?). I’m trying to figure out how to write this without spoiling. Murderbot is trying to find out about something that happened in their past. Murderbot continues to have an absolutely delightful personality and I love their point of view on the world. This book did a fun job of showing some of the flaws in their thought process, while also showing how fucking good they are at certain things. 5/5

Partials by Dan Wells: Post-apocalyptic world, humans created superhumans, a virus got sent out and suddenly a bunch of humans die and infants can’t survive. Rules have been put in place so that all women of a certain age have to be pregnant and yet this isn’t treated like a huge fucking deal. A teenage girl decides she’s the one who knows how to create a cure and goes on an adventure. I feel like I’ve seen a lot of the teenager saves the world and while parts of this were pretty unique, a lot of it felt pretty rote. 3/5

The Trouble With Christmas by Amy Andrews: We received this book in return for a free and honest review. so that’s what I’ll be doing. Suzanne is an artist who is escaping to a small town to try and get her muse back. Through quirky events (read: her not having enough of a backbone to let her mother know she needed a break) she ends up fake dating the surly Rancher Jake.  Also it’s set in Christmas. Think this is basically a Hallmark movie. I’ll be writing a review.

Paused

After the Flood by Kassandra Montag: I ended up setting this one down. It’s an arc we received and honestly I’m just struggling with it. The book is really really dark and while there’s hope in it, I just found it a little too difficult to push myself into reading it. At this point you can probably guess that I read a lot. I can usually tell if I”m not feeling a book if I keep finding ways to do things that aren’t reading. Which is what happened here, so I set it down. I might pick it back up, but it needed to at least go on hold.

Linz’s Updates

Well I was TRYING to celebrate fall’s arrival but it’s 90 degrees. Climate change is REAL.

What Linz read:

Recursion by Blake Crouch: Reviewed by Ginny (https://willreadforbooze.com/2019/06/07/drunk-review-recursion-by-blake-crouch/), read by many others. A cop and a scientist try to figure out why a mysterious affliction is infecting victims with memories of lives they never lived. Total mindfuck, really enjoyed it, 4 stars.

The Last Book Party by Karen Dukess: Perfectly acceptable novel about a 25yo girl having a quarterlife crisis in the ’80s. The writing was fine, the climax and resolution were a little too pat.

War Girls by Tochi Onyebuchi: UM WOW. JFC. WOW.

Bitter Orange by Claire Fuller: Uh, summer 1969, England, Frances is hired to research a dilapidated historic property for its new owner, along with a glamorous sexy couple. But they’re not all they seem, drama ensues–look, I’m actually a little salty about reading this book because I knew it wasn’t great, I just wanted to see how it resolved, and not much was resolved so now humph.

What Linz is currently reading:

I have The Book of Lost Saints by DJ Older and A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer slated next but I only finished Bitter Orange a few hours ago and I’m pissy so I’m taking a break to work out.

Sam’s Updates

What. A. Week. I feel like I say that every week, but I had my first Tarot reading today, and it sounds like it’s going to lighten up… but maybe not. We’ll see. I also didn’t get much reading done.

What I read this week:

Steeltide by Natalie C. Parker: This is the second book in the Seafire series, which I didn’t enjoy as much as I wanted to, but THIS book. I liked this book much better than the first one, though it was still not stellar. Caledonia is a fierce leading lady and I truly love that. Drunk review coming.

The Girl From Everywhere by Heidi Heilig: This story is about a girl on a pirate ship that can travel through time. Her dad, the captain, is tryna get back to Hawaii so he can save his wife, but it may mean that our lady may cease to exist. I… was right. I am not a big fan of this author. There were a few plot holes I couldnt really get behind and while it was better than other books I’ve read by her, I won’t be continuing with the series.

What I’m currently reading:

The Name of All Things by Jenn Lyons: This is the sequel to The Ruin of Kings a demon, chosen-one story but with such flare that I don’t even care. I’m gonna tell you Book 1’s synopsis. Our main man, Kihrin, in jail, and he’s telling his life story that ended him up where he was. It’s such a well-rounded story. It’s also hysterical. This is book 2 and I’m LOVING it.

Grace and Fury by Tracy Banghart: This is a YA story about a world where women have like… zero rights. Our main character has been selected to be a “Grace” which I’m assuming is like a harem for the heir to the throne? We’ll see. Listening on audio and I’ve only just started. Linz wrote a review for this when it came out.

Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore: I’ve literally just started this because I needed something to read on my phone while I was bored. I don’t know what it’s about yet.

Minda’s Updates

Amazing weekend. I started nesting aka painting our Pixar-inspired nursery. Any must-do tips for the space?

What Minda finished:

Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner – All the feels story about two completely different sisters growing up in the counterculture 50s-60s era. Civil rights, LGBTQ love story, and psychedelic drugs, and the ties of a Jewish family. Review to come! 4/5 shots

What Minda is reading now:

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia – Reading this one for book club this month! During the Jazz Age, a Cinderella-type Woman in a small Mexican town dreams of more to her life. Then a twist of fate finds her life tied to that of the Mayan god of death and send her on adventure into the Mayan underworld to fight for her life.

On Swift Horses by Shannon Pufahl – Still haven’t actually opened it, so not sure this counts as reading. This novel is historical fiction based on a brother-in-law and sister in the American west.

  Happy Reading!

Weekly Wrap Up: September 23-29, 2019 Hello! Here’s our weekly wrap up from the WRFB crew =) Ginny's Updates: Hi everyone, it's been a great week.