#‘what would Craig even do’
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soobadnoonecanstopher · 1 year ago
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Yesterday i told my husband i was going to the meat store and a little background info, there has been this super friendly white kitty hanging out outside the meat store and I’ve warned him that if i see that cat and if he’s within grabbing distance I’m gonna get him, so i told my husband as i was leaving, I said “going to the meat store! If i come back with a kitty mind your damn business” and the sound he made was so GUTTERAL hahahaha anyway i didnt see the cat this time. :(
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uniiiquehecrt · 3 months ago
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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icarrymany · 7 months ago
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the mh comics open up such an interesting narrative for our few surviving characters. to them, what happened in the videos was real, but to everyone else its a cool creative web series. when all of that is viewed as fiction, fans have a freedom to speculate about and invade the lives and privacy of real people. and that would be so uncomfortable and terrifying. imagine someone irl having headcanons about YOU. writing fan fiction about you and your real friends. assuming things about you PUBLICLY ! IN MASS!
wouldnt it be so cool to see a character grapple with that in like a self-reflective way? fans asking questions the muse is too afraid to ask themselves. of course, theyre the only person the answer matters to.
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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One of the things I love about Glass Onion is the way that the camera and music work together to tell nonverbal jokes.
Like when Benoit basically has to hold Miles' hand to get him to the conclusion that someone reset the puzzle box Benoit lies about receiving:
Benoit asks if it's possible that someone reset the box, and Miles then declares that someone must have reset the box like it is this huge reveal - and the camera zooms out while the music subtly swells as though he really has figured out something smart, when actually he literally restated what Benoit just said.
#original#I love the reveal that he's not even a smart con artist he's just a piece of shit#he's just a shameless copycat that people keep enabling to do bad things bc they assume he knows what he's talking about bc he's rich#like that line in Fiddler on the Roof - 'it won't matter if I'm wrong or if I'm right cuz you're rich they think you really know!'#glass onion#knives out glass onion#benoit blanc#Daniel Craig#ed norton#I hope the YouTuber sideways does a video about this because he does incredible music theory videos about movie scores#and I bet there are a bunch of hidden meanings within the music that I have no idea how to pick out#that man is like a wizard to me I don't understand how someone can understand music that much!#So cool!#I started this movie like 2 hours ago and I'm barely half an hour in cuz I keep stopping to write film theory essays on Tumblr#oh Adderall you cad!#I have no regrets I feel like this is helping me understand film better. i care a lot about the language of Storytelling#and I must say my favorite medium is film. I am writing a graphic novel right now but if I knew I could just skip that part and make it#into a show. I would do that. I don't wanna draw that much! I like drawing! but I want to see it as a show!!#this is too many drawings!!!!!#but for various reasons the film industry is not really a great place for me - or even possible as a physically disabled person#hard to work yourself up to the director's chair when all the entry positions involve standing for 14 hours at a time#I hope that if I ever do manage to make my graphic novel into a TV show that I will maintain enough control over the project to ensure#accessible hiring practices and workplaces#but in the meantime I guess I have to make waaaay too many drawings#no I can't shorten the story I don't have that kind of control it is an epic saga and the world's longest Slow Burn and that is that
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bugeyedfreaks · 11 months ago
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Sometimes I forget that there is a Cartoon Network Hotel and that it has a Powerpuff Girls reboot hotel room which is hilariously called a “dream” suite.
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steakout-05 · 18 days ago
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he he he. butt
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methinmycoffee · 2 years ago
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Man, the world really is falling apart right before our eyes. It feels like nothing will ever be normal again.
This would be a perfect time for a Tweek episode.
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 6 months ago
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thinking about dream daddy again and god brian makes me so mad
#random thoughts#dream daddy#HIS ROUTE ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM#okay so the thing about the fleshed-out routes is you can tell a lot about a character depending on how many people are around#like with craig his first two dates involve at least one of his kids and a lot of social interaction because he's so overworked#so his final date where you just spend time with HIM one-on-one hits a lot harder#while with joseph he surrounds you with people but takes little periods of time to be alone with you to make a move#before instantly surrounding you with people again so you don't have enough time to question if he just made a pass at you#which is why his final date with you on the boat hits so hard: he purposefully isolated you in a place you could not easily leave#so he could make his move#and with brian... all his dates involve daisy in some way#which would imply he's trying to maintain some sort of distance? but he's not. he actively wants to befriend you#daisy and amanda keep tagging along... and for what?#they're eventually sidelined anyway! each date involves a moment where daisy and amanda are gone and you get a moment alone with brian#brian is the dad whose kid is the most present in his route and it says. literally nothing about him#make it so your character keeps inviting brian out and brian keeps making it a 'bring your kid and make it a playdate' thing or SOMETHING#maybe he's been raising daisy by himself for so long he's a bit rusty on how to interact with someone he's interested in?#on the second date daisy and amanda could have stayed home. it would change nothing#have daisy be sick and amanda be otherwise involved (maybe imply they're both faking to get out of fishing/get brian and mc to smooch)#like i don't think i'd mind daisy being around so much if she wasn't such a nothing burger of a character#give her some flaws! have amanda think she's weird or creepy! show us why she has no friends!#why is brian's route centered around our mc's daddy issues. we don't know his dad. we don't give a shit about his dad.#brian's route's main conflict ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK#you're essentially forcing us to make a character choice based on a backstory you also forced on us. you fallout 4'd us.#like okay. there's a lot of 'here's a part of your backstory you didn't know about' in dream daddy but this specifically doesn't work#like the ska band? it's a jokey plot device that's kind of weak but also a bit whatever#alex? is an explanation for why you're a single parent. very sad. not very fleshed out.#mc's dad? IS THE FOCUS OF AN ENTIRE ROUTE?????? WHAT THE FUCJ#literally no reason to do that. it makes brian a flatter character whose whole purpose is to react to your daddy issues#GIVE HIM FLAWS. MAKE HIM THE ONE WHO TAKES THE COMPETITION TOO SERIOUSLY
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troublcmakcrs · 1 year ago
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//saw an absolutely ice cold take that tweek shouldn't have a coffeeshop of his own when he gets older bc his parents & their coffee is what caused most of his problems, and i'm like... it's about retribution, it's about allowing him to run their business better than they did, to become more successful than they did without using underhanded methods and hurting people, it's about the despite, it's about letting him thrive despite, despite, despite
#misc :: ( ooc )#//i actually hc tweek as being genuinely passionate about coffee#//like DESPITE his parents there is comfort in the familiar; it's what he knows#//when he's having a better day mentally and his parents aren't down his throat about something#//he doesn't really MIND making drink orders for people#//tumblr has suuuuuch a huge problem with characters reclaiming the thing that hurt them tho#//even tho that's LITERALLY what i did with south park so ofc it was gonna get projected onto one of my sp muses LKJFDSKJDF#//tumblr is back on their ''there's only one way to be a victim and that's having a COMPLETE repulsion to the thing that hurt you'' bullshi#//it's his PARENTS he has a problem with; coffee is an innocent and has never done anything wrong in its life 😭#//and yeah for a while he DOES avoid coffee bc he doesn't think he wants to work in a coffeeshop anymore#//and he struggles to find anywhere he fits for SO long bc he's trying to force things he... doesn't really like doing#//and on this blog it's craig who talks him into it like ''hey you LIKE making coffee; why are you not doing that?''#//and it finally clicks for tweek: ''oh yeah why AREN'T i doing that??''#//neither craig or tweek are ~perfect victims~ according to this bullshit website's definition of the term#//if they were they would never speak to each other again bc of tumblr's whole...#//...''you absolutely cannot forgive your abuser under any circumstances'' thing#//anyway tweek's future goth/alt coffeeshop where he offers the occasional free breakfast to homeless people is sexy send tweet#//i'm literally the only one i trust with tweek at this point i'm so serious#//like sorry i know literally EVERYONE has him on their blogs but i Get Him on a different level LKFJDSKJDF
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spacedlexi · 2 years ago
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thinking more about tlou hbo and that ep2 cold open
while it was very good and effectively frightening.... with how theyve handled fedra/the fireflies so far im a little nervous they might be setting it up for the fireflies to be 100% in the wrong later instead of it being less clear cut like it was in the game...
#hbo tlou#what tlou fandom has been arguing over for a decade#which is annoying bc whether or not the vaccine works isnt even the point of the ending#also i have to keep in mind that we're getting part 2 as well so theyll have to set.... all of That up.....#the show has been very good but the parts i didnt like i Really didnt like#2/2 eps with endings that made me go 😬#im really afraid about sam and henry do NOT fuck them up craig#also in regards to my last hbo tlou post:#to the people saying 'it was SUPPOSED to be uncomfortable' would they have done that with a male character? im not so sure#just weird to assault ur female character in her last moments regardless of the 'welcome to the colony' vibe u were going for#i said i didnt care that they swapped out fedra for the zombies but also its weird how theyre handling fedra#and it wouldve been good to see more conflict between fedra and the fireflies outside the qz#it speaks#ok i think ive talked abt my biggest gripes#there are smaller ones but im being kind bc overall its been very good#also knowing that tess's character had already gone through rewrites for the og game im not surprised they took liberties with her scene#also while the show has been very good i do still think the story/characters/pacing were handled better in the game#which i like actually like the show has been nice for new viewers but also new stuff for og fans#and the game is still just a cut above so its worth checking out for any new fans#the performances in the game......are just so incredible#from everyone#and the game has so much more subtlety lol#joel looking at his watch directly he might as well have just taken out a pic of sarah and started crying#the unconscious touch of the watch hits me harder than him just looking at it...#oopsie im talking about the little grievances#bro i just love subtlety and i feel like its being lost these days#subtext my beloved
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spaceytrash · 2 years ago
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I just love Daniel Craig so damn much
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tropical-lazor-beams · 2 years ago
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[image description: black and white sketch. dangeresque, further in the background, points his nunchuck-gun forward in a wide stance. dangeresque too, in the foreground, leans back on his feet & points his own gun in the air. they both look seriously to the right at an unseen target. at the left are some crates in the background. the caption is red, blocky & curvy text, reading "you take the big guy". end image description]
i honest to god put more stock into the relationship between these double-fictional characters than sb & hs themselves sometimes
#the implications man the implications#i read that one comic yes and i think the honest to god nice level the dangeresque two's relationship is built upon is. so fun#i will analyze that in another post. this post is for me to say. i really like it#god what if i wrote a story. see i really like the idea of stories where sb has to confront the beings from his own creations#in a messy & extremely freudian manner#so one where he meets up with the cast of dangeresque would be fun to make. i can imagine it#if cutsey/sultry buttons craig & strong sad's misc brother characters are any indication there is a good deal of actor influence#in the cast's realization as characters. i mean like bubs & the kot & pom pom & the poopsmith play their parts pretty straightforwardly#but let's face it. sb can come up with very nice concepts but he can't do super varied character types.#the rest of the cast are responsible for much of the variety in the actual character trait department. he makes up the drama fine#okay i said i wouldn't do analysis in this post. my point is a fcusa/dangeresque cast meetup would be interesting#because some of them are direct strong bad products & there'd be some people dealing with#yep yeah i figured out that's how sb views me while i was playing that character. or even just yep i'm not like that at all#meanwhile others would be like man it sure is nice how i'm not actually like that but it kind of hurts how sb views me so#and yet others would be like say strong bad since dangeresque & dangeresque too are getting up to some stuff right now#wouldn't it be so cool if we also did something. so that they could see their progentitor-types have also got epic things going on#god ask me about this again at a time not so late at night okay. and also once i've had more time to think about it
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cringelordofchaos · 6 months ago
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Do I "not know who I am" or am I just really insecure and am trying to find a mask to put over myself because despite my best efforts to avoid it, my human nature drives me to put an active effort into having a superficial reputation, rather than letting myself just be natural, and be content with myself without feeling the need to let strangers know who or what I could possibly be?
#Sorry im just contemplating everything lately.#i truly thought i had no idea who i wished to be.#and im still not exactly sure but i think im getting closer to the truth.#i always tried to mimmick my favorite fictional characters. and i still do it. and i dont think ill stop#but due to my obsession with mimicking characters i would find myself troubled as at times i didnt know WHICH character i wanted to mimic -#for a lot of characters i like are the complete opposite from each other.#(example: craig tucker from south park and Albert aretz (real person). i wish i were both sooo bad even though theyre completely different.)#at one poijt i had decided i will simply choose to mimic a character depending on my current mood.#but it doesnt fix mych and still puts me back to the same mentality of actively trying to put a mask for myself instead of simply being nat-#-ural me.#i realized i wished to be a caricature rather than a fully fleshed out three dimensional being.#i mean - who wouldnt? caricatures are so easily defined. im not. i sometimes feel as if i fit nowhere.#sorry went on a bit of a tangent there.#what i am trying to say is that i think i am going to stop and try actively trying to be like someone else.#i mean i CAN relate to both Craig tucker and Albert aretz. and i DO act like both depending on how i personally feel at the moment.#but i shouldn't put restrictions on myself or who i should be. and i shouldn't focus so much on trying ro he like them because it only incre#ases my deep envy of them.#anyway sorry.#tw vent#< maybe??
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steakout-05 · 8 months ago
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headcanons i have about Craig the scientist :)
as are most of the characters i have headcanons for, Craig is on the autism spectrum. he has a flat effect to his voice and facial expressions, doesn't really get most social cues, doesn't know how to react to others in pain the "right" way, misunderstands metaphors and speaks in quite a direct manner because it makes the most sense to his brain. he's quite a literal thinker. he also tends to hyperfixate so hard on a task that he forgets his basic needs and hygene, and thus has quite an unkempt look underneath that hazmat suit of his (which i will get into later!). Barry often ends up needing to get Craig something to eat because of how long he hyperfixates on something.
Craig sometimes doesn't exactly pay attention to his tone of voice, so sometimes he can say something that, to him, sounds completely normal, but because of his tone, can end up sounding really ominous to other people by accident ("We know who you are, Barry.")
Craig has traumatic cataract in his left eye (or wherever the fuck craig's visor crack is supposed to be in canon lol) from the explosion in 'Level 2' and is half blind in that eye. his eye has a very clouded look as a result of the injury. he's also got a huge scar there too that required some pretty gnarly stitches later, and his skin is almost completely numb around that area.
Craig also never really had the best eyesight before the injury, so he's always wearing these big ol' nerdy glasses underneath his helmet. and yes, they are tacked together with a band-aid lol
Craig is one of the few scientists who is not a clone of Peter Simpkins, the late friend of both Professor Brains and (in my headcanon'd canon) Craig. i like to think that Craig and Simpkins knew each other when they were first recruited by Legitimate Research and was pretty close to both him and Brains, and since Simpkins died, Brains has kind of taken more of a liking towards Craig (mostly out of loneliness and needing someone to help around at the lab, but he has a genuine fondness for him under his demanding and angry exterior).
There's a bit of a fan theory that Craig is the same guy as the scientist in the 'Robot Bird' rock opera, which i like to believe is the case. i mean, he's got the same monotone voice as Craig, it's gotta be him. i hope this does end up becoming canon because i think it'd make for an interesting conflict between Barry and Craig!!
Craig may or may not be related to Lab Lady.
Craig's counterpart in the mirror universe is named Kayla.
Craig is demiromantic and is questioning his sexuality (he thinks he might be bi or pan), though he definitely knows he loves Barry <3
Craig has an unhealthy habit of wiping his embarrassing memories, like, a lot. he wipes memories of awkward accidents in the lab, particularly painful failures, and most importantly, the memories of losing literally all his stuff and his career to Barry, which is why he doesn't immediately recognise him in the shorts. Craig has a lot of trouble recounting stories from the past because of this memory-wiping and felt a sense of emptiness, which getting hit in the head certainly didn't help with, so he tried inventing that apple in the Multiverse Madness event to get some of them back. it was pure dumb luck that Barry didn't end up witnessing what happened to Craig in the 'Robot Bird' opera and both are completely unaware of the disastrous can of worms that could have opened. bro's gonna end up like wallflower blush if he doesn't keep that memory erasing under control
and finally...
under his helmet, Craig has messy dirty-blonde hair, a rounded face that has a few stray facial hairs he forgot to shave, a long scar down the left side of his face, hazel coloured eyes and pale skin. this design is inspired by the designs made by @dexterno-artz and @schnabel53 respectively :D
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this is a sketch of my finalised(ish) craig design!!! i've shown earlier versions of this guy in a couple of older posts but i haven't really revised his design much until now. i kinda had the idea of him looking like a stereotypical nerd and then made him messier. i might tone the amount of hair he has down a tiny bit but also i really like the nerdy bird's nest thing he has goin on :) i like to think he literally hasn't brushed his hair in several weeks and it's just become a bird's nest from nights of staying up doing science stuff
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how i feel about barry tbh. he's literally so dumb i love him
(also apologies for the photos being kinda blurry and me forgetting to turn off the filter. again. in my defence it looks really nice and orange on my phone)
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sometimes i like drawing him saying stuff from the shorts to get a feel of how he'd look when talking and make sure he looks juuuust nerdy enough for me to go "yep that's craig". also his big,g, handns,s,
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drew this as a quick side profile sketch to get a general idea of how i want to draw him from this angle. he's talking to barry offscreen and falling in love with him <3
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stupid little comic with a stupid little interaction that would definitely happen between these stupid little guys <3 barry being a little asshole every now and then is very entertaining to me. i need to see him antagonising craig and starting an old couple bickering argument with craig, that would heal me i think
i think i'll post more of this design in the future, i really quite like it a lot :)
#jetpack joyride#craig jetpack joyride 2#jetpack joyride 2#headcanon design#yeag sorry the photos are so fucked looking#my room does not have good lighting.... like..... at all#my sketchbook is also literally falling to pieces lmao#i'm gonna get a new one soon but damn. my poor sketchbook#i didnt even do anything to it....... why must it fall apart and die on me..........#anyway YEAH craig design!!!!#i quite like this design a lot#i feel like there's something that could be added to it but i don't wanna make his design more complicated than it already is#that first drawing of him kinda looks like his eye is bleeding lol#it's just a really big scar dw#craig having traumatic cataract was inspired by my dog getting traumatic glaucoma in his eye#also i think craig would go hard as like. a character who's similar to wallflower blush#except instead of everyone forgetting her but her remembering them#it's craig forgetting everything that happened to him and then finding a way to restore the memories and then he gets SO PISSED at barry#they'll sure need a lot of couple's counselling after that blunder#i kinda wanna make designs for steve and toni#especially steve!!!#how do you think they'd identify steve from the other scientists. would barry just stick a big piece of paper with an S on it to his face#answering my own question: yes he would absolutely do that#steve is the one i feel like both barry and craig tease the most#i find steve literally being so nervous about being perceived that he runs away and damages property to be extremely relatable#also fun fact: craig's hair and eye colours are kinda based off the colour i see the word craig in???#ok this is gonna be tricky to explain but i think i might have grapheme colour synesthesia#it's basically a condition where you can see or VERY heavily associate colours to a specific number or letter#and for some reason my brain has christened 'craig' as being a very specific sort of yellowy green! it's what i see in my head when i think#-of the word 'craig' so i decided to make him kinda blonde and have hazel eyes (which is basically a mix of green and yellow)!! neato!!
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star-anise · 5 months ago
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Currently getting my socks clean blown off by Rethinking Narcissism, by Dr. Craig Malkin. Which I found, in a roundabout way, from this video on Midsommar, grief, and narcissism.
Tonight I woke up from a nap and accidentally took my morning meds, so I'm going to be up for a few hours because of the meth. In place of sleep, I'll try to roughly sum up some basic ideas proposed by the research the book is based on:
That traits of "narcissism" like entitlement, grandiosity, and feeling special are not inherently toxic. There are times and places they are appropriate and beneficial. If you show up at a hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest, you should not sit and wait to be seen after people with earaches and coughs. (Actually, medical systems are designed to prioritize people with more urgent needs, and you qualify under that system. You are special and are deserving of different treatment than those others, which is why making your needs known, even insisting on it if you're not listened to appropriately the first time, is an extremely good idea. It keeps you from bleeding to death on the floor, and keeps the hospital from getting its pants sued off by your heirs.)
It is more useful to view "narcissism" not as an inherent immutable personality trait, but as a cluster of coping mechanisms. As previously stated, there are times they are exactly the right coping mechanism for the job. However, people we call "narcissists" tend to cling to these ones even when they become detrimental to themselves and others, often because they lack other ways of regulating their emotions and getting their needs met. And that is something they can change, if a person is willing to put in sincere and difficult work. It is not usually fast change; it's a matter of years, not weeks. But a skillbuilding approach turned Borderline Personality Disorder from an immutable curse to a fully treatable (though not quickly treatable) condition, and there's a lot of hope that it can do the same for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Meanwhile, there's an opposite end to the narcissism spectrum, and it is also pathological and destructive to hang out there all the time. It's an aversion, or even a resistance, to expecting yourself or other people to treat your own feelings, thoughts, ideas, needs, or preferences as important. For Greek mythology reasons, its proposed name is Echoism.
Unfortunately, because most of the damage echoism does is, by its very nature, localized to its sufferer and their own personal relationships, its downsides aren't often talked about. In fact, it's often seen as an ideal moral state, a kind of altruism or saintliness everyone should strive for. As a pathological coping mechanism a person is trapped in, though, it's often more a fear-based reflex than a conscious and deliberate attempt to achieve some real and specific good. It's not actually as beneficial as being able to recognize your needs, desires, positive aspects, and areas of competence or excellence, and bring them forward in your relationships with other people and yourself.
To me this has all been a cross between a gut-punch and a cool, sweet drink of water. There have been other ways to describe echoism over the years, but this feels like the most concise and useful one I've seen in ages.
It specifically puts its pin down in the middle of the moral debate a lot of people struggle with—"What right do I have to put myself forward? What hope do I have of being seen and accepted? Isn't it better not to burden anybody else?"—and says that the problem is not feeling in touch with either side of the equation, but specifically, the inability to move from one part of the spectrum to another when it's merited by circumstances.
When I was a child, I thought Echoism was the answer. It was my ideal. I thought it was what would get me the love and acceptance I wanted, and would keep me safe from the pain of rejection or not being understood. I had no idea it would actually, in fact, be the primary cause of alienation and loneliness for the rest of my life.
Now I'm so deeply thankful I couldn't fully achieve it, in practical terms. As hard as I tried to erase myself, there were always things I loved too much to suppress. I still found ways to express and discover myself in the books I read, the stories I wrote, the intellectual work of school and the experience of pursuing hobbies I loved, my ambitions to be helpful even when they demanded I stop being selfless, and the relationships where I felt safe enough to experience love and acceptance even if I didn't think I deserved them.
There's this question I found a while back that echoed in my bones: Who am I allowed to be around you? Because that's what I felt like, as a child. If I wanted to engage with other people and minimize my risk of harm, it was my job to bend into a pretzel and fit the shape they wanted. And thank god, thank god, thank god, I couldn't fully do it. Despite everything, there were parts of me too strong and bright to lop off completely to get my arms and legs inside the carriage. I was able to take care of myself and let them grow in secret until I found social places I could let them out again. Despite myself, I found ways to grow and thrive, well beyond the trauma that said I shouldn't have.
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poppy-metal · 3 months ago
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thinking of art donaldson who has the most obvious crush on you but you're oblivious so you don't think about it when you tell him you can't go to the movies with him because you have a date that day. you think arts text back is a bit strange. the - Oh. Have fun :) seeming passive aggressive as hell but what reason would he have to feel that way? you think you're probably reading into it too much and decide to lighten the mood by texting him back-
now you don't have to worry about me scaring off potential love interests!!
he leaves you on read for the first time ever since knowing him. a pinch of worry niggles at you. you don't like the idea of upsetting him. did he think you were being a bad friend? flakey? you decide to send him another message -
you know asking a girl to see a scary movie with you can be kinda romantic. you should definitely ask someone to go with in my place <3 that way she can cling to you!
he does text back then.
Right. I'll keep that in mind.
are you mad at me?
dots appear. they dance on your screen. dissappear. reappear again.
Who's the guy?
you bite your lip. he dodged the question, which meant he probably was mad.
just some guy from one of my lectures! his name is craig!
Are you going to fuck him?
you stare at your phone screen. arts cursed in front of you before, but for a guy his age - the amount is minimal - even rarer over text. it sends a bolt of heat through you unexpectedly, a tingle you feel from your head to your toes. you hesitate on what to say - but you're comfortable with art, you're not in the business of lying to him, even if this isn't something you've talked with him about before.
honestly? probably. I don't see him as boyfriend material or anything, but he looks like fun!
you wonder if this is why art is mad. remembering he told you he grew up religious - maybe he still held some of those beliefs and was upset you were ditching him to have unwed sex or whatever.
the dots dance on your screen again for a time. your knee bounces as you wait for his reply, strangely anticipating it.
You're not looking for a boyfriend?
you think about that.
not at the moment!
his reply is quick then.
What are you looking for then?
you think about that too. your cheeks burn a little more - shifting in your seat. your friendship with art is newish - and while you're comfortable with him, there's still parts of yourself he doesn't know about you. like the part where you're kinda a sex fiend - though you wouldn't know it based on how you portray yourself. girlish and bubbly. you weren't ashamed of what you liked - and yet you paused before typing, fear of his judgement making you consider downplaying the truth.
but honesty was the best policy, and you stood by that embarrassment aside.
just sex, for now. I like having it. like, probably more than the normal amount....
art took so long to reply you physically had to stand up and pace around your room, 7 full laps before you came back down to check your texts.
So it's just scratching and itch, then. It could be anyone?
well.... obviously not just anyone. I do have standards!
They should be higher than that douchbag. and then, right under that. Fuck. I don't mean that in a slut shaming way. I just mean.
The dots again. You hold your breath.
I just mean you should only be allowing someone who kisses the fucking ground you walk on to give you what you need. You deserve more than some quickie on a shitty dormbed. You deserve to be worshipped from head to toe. Every inch of you.
you don't know how to reply to that, so you don't.
it's the first night you touch yourself to the thought of your new friend, though.
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