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planetsxmore · 2 years ago

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SHORT MESSAGES FROM YOUR FUTURE LOVER

one two three

four five six

lowkey inspired to make this as i saw a few other blogs - this a short pac that'll consist of complete/incomplete sentences channeled by your future lover/spouse/soulmate- choose your pile carefully! - you can choose more than one pile if you'd like - used intuition and rw tarot deck for this reading - this is a general reading and may or may not resonate for you all - stay positive,and hydrated loves <33

your likes and reblogs will be appreciated •

ꕤ PILE 1

you're the sunshine to my darkness

are you okay? because i'm not

stop doubting yourself,you're amazing and complete! i love you for how you are -

i can't wait to have you in my arms but i know that's not possible - even after we meet because it'll take us time to realize how much we love each other

the color blue is our color..

it takes time to heal wounds and broken hearts

you're the best thing that ever happened to me

i'm insecure and i'm afraid you'll run away from the scars i have...

let us dance all night,talk all night - love all night...

i love your smile,it's adorable

ꕤ PILE 2

stop it,you're tickling me...

we're literally more than friends,more than best friends even....

it's uncanny the way we both understand each other. words aren't even needed to express what we want to communicate with each other

we're weird,and we know it- and frankly speaking we don't don't care *wink*

our love is more like an understanding - it's pure,less of the lust and more of the emotional love - we laugh with each other,cry with each other and do absolutely everything together - if we haven't met,i know it's unbelievable for you but you'll believe me once we meet, darling.

you hate my pet,why tho?

our dates are the best - they're soo secretive yet soo quirky lol

you hate it when i snort/snore/slurp - but i can't help it love xD

i gave you my everything yet you didn't think of it alot. why does it feel unrequited at times?

our taste is very similar..in almost alot of things

ꕤ PILE 3

i really love the way your body looks or may look,keeps me guessing...

you're a little too sensitive,can you be a little open? i mean c'mon life's about fun - don't waste yourself overthinking most of the time

whenever i listen to love songs,it reminds me of you..

you're jealous of my exes,but what am i suppose to do if i'm soo hot --

i feel as though so much,so much could be better between the two of us. i'm a little impatient in everything and i can't change that,love - i've tried, trust me

idk why you're soo shy,i'm all in for you -

i hope you understand that i'm not the one to believe in "happy ever after-s" - it's life,babe - we gotta understand it's not a storybook

i love it how you listen to me,it makes me feel as you're the one for me for life - but again,i don't believe in story tales - kinda love. i love it fast - and quick -

clinginess is not anything i love neither co dependency

i love it when my gifts make you happy - the twinkle in your eyes are everything!

[ loves,i don't know how you feel about this pile - but for some of you, i feel you're attracting a very toxic lover/fs - if that's the case,and you don't feel good about this pile- please don't worry since this is the future you're attracting at the moment - change your energy and be a little more positive to attract a better future and partner / you don't need to end up with such an individual if you don't want to - however,if you're fine with this,then no prob! ]

ꕤ PILE 4

close your eyes and imagine - i know you'll feel me around you...

i love how we do homely activities together (cooking/cleaning/working etc.)

you and i are equals. - equals for life

we argue like little kids and make out at the very next moment..

you're my jellybean and i'm your savior.

you always end up in trouble and i always end up fixing it all for you,but i'm with you don't worry

i'll find you but you need to be strong till then! don't let your feelings out for just anyone please

you like my car and i like your lips ...*winks*

it's soo funny how you'll hide your feelings for me and it'll be obvious at the same time..i'll do the same thing.. honestly it'll be a circus and we'll be like two clowns until we confess

please bear with me when i close off. i have past baggages that make me feel isolated at times and opening up can be difficult. just stay with me,i promise i'll open up for you,love.

ꕤ PILE 5

you're literally my drug - i don't know if it's toxic or not,but all i know is that i feel strongly for you ... strongly.

you love my hugs,i know you do .

i know i'm usually very busy and taking out time can be difficult - but i'll manage i promise,just don't go away with anyone else.

you're my favorite - my utmost favorite

maybe sometimes you'll feel as though i'm selfish - wanting all of your body,time and love for myself while i give you less -- but what can i do,love? it's just the way i am. i crave you... can't see you with anyone,even your work bothers me at times when you ignore me because if it - i'm sorry,i'll try to work in these habits...but habits are difficult to change y'know?

i'm possessive,yes i am. i don't want any third party between us - any !

you love our long drives and dinner dates , and i love them with you too !

i love you. i love you right? it's not infatuation,it's not obsession !

i love it when you smile for me, because of me - i love to be your source of happiness!

just be mine, please. when you crush on anyone apart from me,i feel -- i just don't feel good,even if it's a celeb.

[ loves,i don't know how you feel about this pile - but for some of you, i feel you're attracting a very possessive lover/fs - if that's the case,and you don't feel good about this pile- please don't worry since this is the future you're attracting at the moment - change your energy and be a little more positive to attract a better future and partner / you don't need to end up with such an individual if you don't want to - however,if you're fine with the possessiveness,then no prob! ]

ꕤ PILE 6

we're soulmates,yes we are.

do you know how much i had to think over before approaching you? why are you always soo - soo intimidating y'know lol

we're opposite poles of magnets. two parts of a heart - we fit perfectly.

listening to music together soothes me..

i can be a little workaholic but trust me sweetheart, whenever i get time - i rush to you,for you. i just want to build the most stable future for us. I see you in my future..

i'm a little inexperienced in relationships - they never excited me until you came in the picture..

i do whatever i can for you, but if something still bothers you - please,tell me. i don't mind you telling me what i can do better.

love me forever.

i'm all yours,love. the good and the bad. just like the raw ..

i'm scared that our families won't accept us but, no matter what,i'm with you. we'll work through this - you just work on yourself right now, don't stress out. we'll be with each other,as soon as the universe thinks it's time

#planetsxmore #pac reading #pick a card #future spouse #future lover #free tarot readings #pac #tarot #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #intuitive readings

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the-one-and-only-taffie · 4 days ago

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Back with more White Diamond x Sentinel Prime crackship nonsense baby!!!

Ever since I first thought about these goobers, I haven't known a single day of peace (mostly cause the ideas are just racking around in my brain)

So here's a list of headcanons I came up with for Prime Diamond! If you have any questions regarding this ship, my ask box is open. Double if you have any thoughts or anything to add, go on ahead! I hope y'all enjoy!

I may make a part 2 when I come up with more lol

For this relationship to even be possible (as possible as a crackship between two characters from completely different franchises can be), it will have to take place Post-Steven Universe Finale/Future when White Diamond is in her therapy, self-help guru era. And when Sentinel Prime is... alive.

Also, I have been trying to do research regarding this but since the results are so inconsistent, I'm gonna assume White Diamond is around 80 to 90 ft tall and Sentinel is around 60 (based on how he's double Orion Pax's height and apparently TF One Orion is around 33 ft tall). If you know their actual canonical heights or anything close to that, please lemme know!

As mentioned in a reblog, White Diamond would take an interest in Sentinel Prime as a sort of little DIY project. Though he tries to hide it, White with her supernatural intuitiveness can tell there's more to him than meets the eye (he's an asshole). Having been inspired by Steven to see the worth and beauty in imperfections, she wants to give someone like Sentinel a chance like Steven did for her. Though she is making genuine strides to improve upon her previous controlling and obsessive behavior regarding perfection, this aspect of her will resurface in her attempts "fix" Sentinel while in a relationship with him. She adores and finds much interest in his "positive imperfections," but helping him improve on his more negative ones wouldn't hurt, right?

Other reasons she developed an attraction to him is for the same reason all the Sentinel fangirls did: he's just so... pathetic. When he tries to impress her with stories of battles he's never fought in and gives her a tour of his treasure room full of artifacts he didn't discover, she can tell he's trying way too hard to impress her. She finds this cute and charming rather than douchey and desperate.

Sentinel Prime pursued her because, as stated in a previous reblog, "his diva ass was always going to try and seek out a gem fit for a king." He laid his eyes on an 80-90 ft giant alien rock woman and thought,"I need her." As any sane person would. She was supposed to be nothing more than another symbol of wealth for him to show off to the other elites and officials of Iacon City to further cement the royal image he works so hard to maintain. He definitely underestimated how overwhelming White Diamond can be, and I am not just referring to her height.

Sentinel would rather have his spark be extinguished than admit to this, but his stabilizing servos get wobbly at the idea of his alien girlfriend being so much taller than he is. His pride would never admit to this, nor would it accept someone taller than him accompanying him. He believes that as a "Prime," he is supposed to be much taller, bigger, and more imposing than those around him.

Whenever they make a public appearance, Sentinel insists that White shrink herself to a height more tolerable for his fragile ego. He bullshits an excuse about their buildings not being designed for a being as tall as she is. White obliges, but given how Iacon was built when the previous actual Primes were all gigantic and alive, she quickly figures his lie and confronts him about it. He'd just lie again and say he didn't want the other Cybertronians to be intimidated... by her beauty. Clearly, it's not because of some Napolean complex or something. Still, White is in her patience era, so she takes the compliment for what it is.

The "guy who doesn't like speeches" vs. "professional yapper" isn't a joke. Sentinel can't stand how much White Diamond loves to yap. She's the kind of person to have thoughts and opinions about anything and everything. Given that she doesn't breathe, she doesn't even need to catch her breath in the middle of speaking, so she can go on and on and on, much to Sentinel's annoyance.

He tries to get her to quiet down at times, but as White tends to do, she either doesn't hear him or straight up ignores him. Her monologuing, along with her height and just how shiny she is, is very overwhelming for Sentinel at times. The only good thing he finds about this aspect of his sweetspark is when she dotes on him and showers him with compliments and attention. As if an attention hungry fame whore needed any more of it.

Sentinel even allows White to indulge in her psychoanalysis, playing up the whole "tragic hero whose brothers and sisters perished in battle and now has to face the pain and weight of protecting his people alone" angle that she eats up. White does sometimes hit dangerously close to home, so Sentinel shuts her down before she could dig straight to bedrock and uncover the more unfavorable parts of himself he wants to stay hidden.

Speaking of staying hidden, the way White carries herself in public makes Sentinel was to keep her locked away in a jewelry box. White is excellent when it comes to using her words to inflict psychic damage or to build someone up. When it comes to social situations where charisma, relatability, and poise are needed, this is when White is at her most alien. She is not the most socially adjusted given that prior to the finale, she spent thousands of years hidden away in a world of her own delusions. She doesn't have much of a filter, something she has been working on to avoid upsetting others.

She has the habit of pointing out any interesting thing that catches her eye, especially about people, whether or not it's positive or negative. This has led to her unsettling the bots at best or offending them at worst. Sentinel then has to come in and use his charisma to difuse the situation and paint her behavior in a more positive light. Only for White to turn around and ask everyone if they ever noticed how Sentinel's wings move in accordance to his mood and how adorable it is. Everyone laughs. Sentinel is thoroughly pissed.

Sentinel definitely has more relationship experience than White Diamond. All of her knowledge comes from what she's heard from the gems that come to her for advice or from that human show the little green Crystal Gem recommended (she can't remember her name). In her attempts to emulate the behavior she's heard of and observed, she ends up coming off as cringe or detached from reality. At certain points of the relationship, she even imposes certain "deadlines" on courtship behaviors she expects from Sentinel. All his previous relationships were private, casual flings. He only made this one public because bagging a bad bitch like White Diamond is an accomplishment he felt he had to show off.

This may come to bite him in the aft when her radiance catches the attention of other bots. On these occasions, he acts possessive and showers her with attention, gifts, and affection. He tells himself and Airachnid it's because he doesn't want her to outshine him in the eyes of the public. In reality, he gets jealous and doesn't want to lose her interest and, most importantly, her attention. As overwhelming and embarrassing as she can be, a twisted part of him really craves her attention.

In private, Sentinel can flip flop greatly in how he treats White. On some days he leans on her for support and wants her to pet his wings while he vents about all the dumb, annoying bots he has to fraternize with and all the boring meetings he has to attend. White occasionally interrupts him with advice or her own views on the situation, which frustrates Sentinel. On other days, he's completely detached, not even bothering to give her the time of day. He is at his most consistently sweet and romantic when they're both in the public eye, performing grand gestures of love. This intensifies when they're on camera.

They present themselves as THE Iacon couple, but Sentinel and White argue a lot about pretty much anything. More often than not, White is trying to advise him on how to improve himself and his city, and Sentinel kindly tells her to shut up and mind her own business.

They are both very prideful people who can't accept when they are wrong. White is more willing than Sentinel to admit to it and compromise. If she believes she is 100% in the right, she won't go down without a verbal fight. She has yet to figure out how to properly counter Sentinel's "NUH UH!" though. She believes this is normal and healthy as she hears time and time again how arguments are a sign of a functional relationship. White knows how in the past she never allowed anyone to express their grievances or criticize her. If they did, she'd twist their words to further force her own viewpoint or take control over their mind and body. Seeing Sentinel passionately argue back while White practices her listening skills and only sometimes speaks over him gives her hope that she isn't regressing back to her previous toxicity. No one has told her that disagreements are healthy and normal, but frequent fights and arguments are not. And the kind of hellish circles these two go in just ain't it

#transformers #transformers one #sentinel prime #tf one sentinel prime #white diamond #steven universe white diamond #su white diamond #crackship #headcanons #shipping #prime diamond #taffie yaps #tf one #microwaving them in my brain

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askthefivefallen · 4 months ago

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“Okay, so the key to a good sand castle is a good sand to water ratio. If you have too much water, it’s mud, too much sand and it won’t stick. You want it to stand on its own but still be pliable. Like this,” *Emily squeezes a handful of sand and it keeps the shape of the space between her palm* “Once you have that, you can build it up and shave away what you don’t need. If you make a mistake, just add a little more and fix it.”

*She offers the sand castle building kit to Shamira* “Here, now you try!”

Alright, Sugar, here you go. Go ahead and summon your mask; it's your time to shine.

Shamira smiles, snapping her fingers to summon a periwinkle mask into place. It wasn't the same as her face guard, the fabric far more flexible and permitting her to speak, but it brought her a similar level of peace. She then took the kit Emily handed her, tilting her head as she puzzled through the various pieces. Aside from the bucket that carried the kit, there was a small hand shovel and several molds to build the actual castle. "It seems fairly straight forward."

She kneels down and familiarizes herself with the various components before taking the bucket to dig out a small pit, intending to use it to create a pool of water she could easily draw from and using the displaced sand to build her castle. Then, she went to gather water.

You know, now seems like a good enough time to ask- why sandcastle building?

I'm unsure what you mean with that question.

You're pretty invested in doing this and I'm just curious what about sandcastles has your attention. Not like either of us knew surfing was a bad idea until this morning.

Shamira gathers up water in the bucket and ferries it back to her pit, going back for a second trip as most of the water began seeping through the sand at the bottom.

I am intrigued by the concept and I hope to better understand our dynamic by experiencing the process myself.

Our dynamic?

Yes. We're very much like a sandcastle.

Sugar, I'm pretty good at reading you, but ya gotta explain this one.

Shamira continues bringing water, focused solely on creating her pool of water and conversing with Ass in her head.

Sandcastles combine two concepts that should not make sense together. Sand is malleable, always shifting, dynamic; a castle is not. The stone is immutable, worn away only after ages have passed. You are the sand- dynamic, changing, adapting, and yet you remain true. No matter how the ocean beats against you, you are still the same Ass, despite how much you've changed,l just like you may never walk on the exact same sand but the beach endures. I am the castle; I am set in my ways, virtually incapable of changing easily, and I fear I may be worn away entirely one day.

What makes you think you'll be worn away?

A few things. I'm not as strong as you- spiritually. It's as Emily said; you are a wild, blazing flame. I am not.

Just because you're not a flame doesn't mean you can't endure. Look at the Palace; that's a type of castle and it's been around ages.

... I suppose.

And, even if you're always going to be a castle, that doesn't mean you can't change. You were once a castle dedicated to Sera. Now you're dedicated to Emily.

I changed because you showed me how. In that way, we are a sandcastle- two things that, by all rights, should not be even remotely considered relevant to each other. Yet, we are.

Okay. Well. Couple things. First, whatever our 'dynamic' is, I promise it's gonna be stronger and hardier than any fucking sandcastle.

Noted.

Secondly, sandcastles, even well built ones, are still messy and imperfect. So, it's okay if we're a little messy and imperfect, too.

Reasonable.

Finally, trust Em's word. It's about finding the right ratio, the right balance. It might not be intuitive. But, if we keep working at it, we'll figure it out.

I believe that's a sound strategy.

Awesome. Now, you've been fucking silently filling up that hole with water for, like, ten minutes. Em's probably a little worried.

Shamira blinks and looks up, turning her head to meet Emily's gaze while holding up the bucket. "Preparations are almost complete. Then, construction can begin."

((@ask-emily-em-emmy))

#ask the fallen #ass (but not that kind)#ask emily #servant shamira #lutualverse #beach ep

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nightghoul381 · 6 months ago

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Spoken Words ~ Liam Evans (POV) x Reader

AHAHAHA IT'S LATE BUT---Entry number 9 in @judejazza's An Invitation to Crown Castle event!

Pairing: Liam Evans (POV) x Reader Prompt: Words of Affirmation Genre: Hurt/Comforty-Fluff CW: None WC: 1k

To say that I am overwhelmed is an understatement. When you first pitched the idea to try and ‘be me for the day’ I thought it was adorable and readily agreed.

However, I soon realized that I am in over my head as you begin to shower me with praise.

“You’re so sweet, Liam!”

“I love you so much, you make my heart feel so light and happy.”

“Liam you’re looking so gorgeous today!”

I’m used to some compliments and praise, but I suppose I didn’t realize how often I tended to express my adoration for you through my words.

My face is burning as we make our way through the market, and I find myself struggling to come up with an appropriate way to respond, especially when you keep making my heart skip so much.

“You don’t really need to keep making things up to praise me for,” I tease, swinging our joined hands between us.

When you stop suddenly I stumble a bit. Glancing over my shoulder I see your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

“I’m not making things up, I’m just saying what I’m thinking out loud, like you do.”

My cheeks flush, and I smile shyly at you, tugging your hand to convince you to keep walking. I keep my eyes fixed on the feeling of your hand in mine.

More kind words with each shop we pass, and I can start to feel the niggling feeling at the back of my head, I don’t want to feel this way…

I try to keep my mind from escaping from me as I feel the cold rainy feeling wash over me. It’s no use though.

It’s not true.

You know it’s not true.

No one could ever truly love someone like you. A miserable wretch of a man.

No one wants someone so broken and unlovable; you should stop pretending that any of this is real.

The dark voice in my head is so quick to tear apart anything and everything you say, even as you continue to tell me how happy you are to be with me, and how much you love spending time with me even doing something as simple as strolling through crowds holding hands.

I school my expression, reacting as I know I’m supposed to react, brightly smiling each time you tell me how lovely I look and how much you want to kiss me. Perks of being an actor, I suppose. I can put on a fairly convincing performance, pretending that I’m happy and not crumbling inside.

I zone out for a bit, startled when I see that we’re now in a narrow alley, tucked away from the rest of the people.

“Liam,” you state softly, eyes staring deeply into mine. “You’re getting lost again.”

“Oh, um… sorry. I guess I got caught up in my head,” I laugh, slapping a grin on my face to try and reassure you that I’m okay.

I feel your hands come up on either side of my face, thumbs gently brushing against my cheeks.

You shake your head calmly and I know you’re telling me to stop hiding my real self from you.

I don’t know how you’re always able to see through me so quickly, but I can’t help but feel impressed.

“You’re so intuitive. I’m no match for you,” I chuckle, letting my lips drop from the forced smile.

I feel tears stinging the corner of my eyes as your thumbs caress my cheeks. I let myself nuzzle against your palms and breathe deeply.

“I suppose hearing compliments and such nice things… I can understand a couple, maybe. But you’ve said so many nice things, things that no one has ever thought before. I don’t know how you could convince yourself that you really mean any of them.”

I scoff at my weakness, eyes squeezed shut as tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.

“I must seem so crazy to you. You’ve been doing nothing but saying such kind things, just as I always do to you, and yet here I am, crying and unable to believe it. I’m too broken for love…”

I feel the warmth of your lips press against mine and my eyes shoot open.

“Liam, I mean everything I’ve said today. You’re not broken. It can be hard to accept compliments, I know I had a difficult time with it myself when we first started spending time together. I was able to come to believe them because you were sure to tell me so consistently and sincerely each day. I want to do that for you now.”

Your hands fall from my cheeks, reaching instead for my hands to pull us out of the alleyway. You know you’ve managed to draw me out of the rain and into your warmth I suppose, your face glowing with a tender smile.

“Every day, Liam. I will tell you every single day, how much I love you, how much I enjoy my time with you, how wonderful I think you are. I’ll remind you so many times that it will become easier and easier for you to believe me,” you promise, striding out into the sunlit and bustling marketplace.

“But what if I can’t do it… if I’m too broken to believe you?” I whisper to myself, startled when you respond.

“Then I’ll tell you even more, because I know you’re not broken, you’re just running on empty. My lovely kind, Liam. “

The little spark of joy that wells up in me begins to burn a little stronger. Perhaps you’re right, after all. Maybe, just maybe, your affirmations repeated often enough will fan the flame in my heart until I’m able to see the world around me even if your light is far away.

“Okay then, but don’t expect me to hold back from complimenting you just as much, if not more,” I shoot back, finally letting a genuine smile spread across my face. I don’t know how you can see someone worth all the praise and kind sentiments in a guy like me, but… I hope that someday I can.

No, I believe that someday I will.

Taglist: @judejazza @aquagirl1978 @natimiles @themiscarnival @candied-boys

Feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list!

#ikevil #ikemen villains #liam evans #invitation2crowncc #ikevil liam #ikemen villains liam #ikevil liam evans

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the-common-cowgirl · 4 months ago

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The Blood of the Dragon

Ch:2 - Good Hands

Pairings: Aemond x OFC (Alice Strong)

Summary: Alice needs a break. Her pent up stress finds a new home as she loses it on the nice, new customer.

Warnings for this chapter: Some Strong Language

A/N: I am working to slowly repost an entire fic of mine from AO3. You can go to AO3 and read ahead or tune in twice a week for individual chapters. Please follow fics-by-the-common-cowgirl for updates when I post!

Masterlist

The next morning had gone almost how all mornings had gone since Alice inherited the business a little less than two months ago, when her father died.

Alice woke up too early, baked for hours alongside her mother, opened up the bakery only seven minutes past Eight in the morning this time, and waited, impatiently for no one. She watched people walk into shops across the street and walk past her storefront with bags from neighboring shops but never into her store.

“Alice,” her mother called from the large industrial kitchen behind her. “Sweetling, you need to eat.” Shuffling out from the kitchen, she had a blueberry muffin in her hand. Alice looked at the muffin, at her mother’s shaky hands, then to her wrinkled eyes.

“Thanks,” she said softly, taking the muffin from her mother’s worn and warm fingers. Staring down at it, she remembered the muffin she handed to that man last night. The man who hadn’t left her mind.

Aemond. Just, Aemond.

“What’s on your mind, Sweetling?” Her mother had a way of always knowing when something troubled Alice. Call it mother’s intuition or simply luck, she always knew.

“It’s nothing mom.” Alice put the muffin down on the counter, “Go upstairs and get some rest. You’ve done your part already.”

Her mother smiled with warmth before she turned back toward the door for the stairwell, limping slightly from her condition. “You don’t have to worry about this place. It’s in good hands,” Alice’s mother called out whilst still walking away at a snail’s pace.

“Yes mother, I know. Dad knew I could handle it and all that…” Alice rolled her eyes smiling fondly; so to not show the agitation under her skin. She loved her mother very much but there was so much her father hid from her mother. He didn’t want her condition to worsen with stress Alice supposed, but her mother had no idea how deep of a financial hole they will be in soon if Alice didn’t figure out how to fix this.

“Oh my little sweet summer child.” Her mother’s singsong voice sounded as she started to slowly ascend the stairs.

Summer Child. Alice hated the phrase. It was an old phrase used to humble children born in summer, like Alice was, because they did not know the ‘cold.’ It was a metaphor really, cold meaning bad things to come; bad things that happened. Alice hated it. Alice had seen bad things. She had taken care of her mother at the age of twelve when her health almost completely failed her. She took over her mother’s duties in the home, bakery and raising her younger brother alongside tending to her mother, and just barely getting through schooling those few years. When her mother got better, the little bit she did, Alice continued the duties she resumed alongside getting a job to help pay for the bills. She did all of that without complaint. But, she was a Summer Child, not her brother who fucked off to gods-know-where the second he turned sixteen, leaving Alice alone to assume the family business and baggage. But no, Alice said ‘fuck this,’ too and left for college at eighteen in Pentos, accepting a scholarship that paid for half of her degree in Business Administration.

It hurt her to leave her mother, to leave her father and to leave the baggage they carried but she thought that maybe if she got a degree in Business of all things, it would surely save theirs right?

Wrong.

Alice had never felt more like a failure in her life. An MBA and nothing to show for it but a failing business that was handed to her of all things.

Alice groaned and put her head in her hands as she contemplated her life.

How did I fuck up so badly? Where did I go wrong?

Shoving down her self pity and standing up straight, Alice decided it was, for her mental state and the state of the business, best to get to work. She went to the back and grabbed a broom, sweeping the creaky wooden floors. Then getting a mop and mopping. When the floors were shiny, she started wiping down the baseboards. Slowly and carefully, she made her way across the front lobby until everything from the few chairs and tables to the doors and floors glistened and gleamed.

Alice looked across her work with pride then, her smile faded, noticing the sky darkening.

All day and not a godsdamned customer.

She threw down the rag and stormed into the kitchen, preparing the kitchen for lockup as she had a thousand times before.

Alice began moving the trays from the display case at the counter back into the kitchen after preparing it. She’d give the unused goods to a women’s shelter just a couple blocks away in the morning.

Halfway done with her work, Alice stormed back out of the kitchen when she was stopped dead in her angry tracks by a tall, handsome silhouette waiting silently at the counter.

Alice stared at Aemond in disbelief for approximately half a minute, and he let her. He stared back at her with a deadly half-lidded gaze that made her shiver with fear and heat pool somewhere deep within her at the same time.

Then she broke the trance, “Uh, I’m so sorry. I did not hear you come in.” She looked up to just above the door where the old metal bell should have been…and it was there.

“I have not been waiting long,” he said impassively.

Alice moved to the counter, ready to take his order, trying to clear her head which always seemed fuzzy around him. Always as in the two times she’s ever seen this man. “What can I get you?” Her warm, welcoming, customer smile appeared across her face. She could feel its lie, she didn’t want to smile at him, she wanted to drool.

Aemond’s eye flicked down to the counter, beside the register, where her blueberry muffin from this morning sat, uneaten. Alice looked back up nervously, unsure of the situation due to the silence.

“Did you lie to me?” His soft voice came from lips that were too perfect for a mere mortal, yet, Alice couldn’t help but be confused, unsure if she heard those brilliant lips right.

“What?”

His gaze flicked back up to her. She was unable to read his emotion, if he had any. “You said you recommend the blueberry muffin, but here one sits. It’s clearly intended for you, yet, untouched.”

Alice’s smile faltered, “Uh, I uh- I just haven’t had time…”

“Because you’ve been so busy?” He retorted quickly, slightly accusingly, raising and eyebrow over his brilliant blue eye.

Alice tried to blink away his brazenness and fixed her jaw, steeling herself from saying something stupid. Oh, but it was so hard, “Are you watching my store’s business?” Her tone was accusing, harsh, but not as harsh as she could have been or would have liked to be, “Are you another developer?”

Aemond smiled, as if he had achieved something and shifted his stance, settling into his hips, standing ever-so nonchalant as if he enjoyed her little burst of anger.

And that made Alice angrier.

“You know what I highly recommend? Developers stop coming into Flea Bottom and wringing the life from what mom-and-pop shops we have left here. I know they blacklisted my bakery on their tourist sites. I know other shops aren’t recommending our name when people ask where to go. But you blood-sucking developers have to stop somewhere right? When will enough be enough?” Alice picked up the blueberry muffin meant for her and tossed it angrily at Aemond who’s quick reflexes acted immediately and caught it in a single hand, crumbs fell to the gleaming wooden floor below but Alice didn’t give it a second thought, “Get out!”

Aemond smiled, as if he had achieved something he had set out to do, then nodded toward Alice, “Have a goodnight, Alice Strong.” He turned and sauntered toward the door, bell ringing on his way out.

Alice ran her hands through her hair, getting muffin crumbs in her locks but she didn’t care. She felt stupid. She cursed herself in behaving such a way.

Gods I’m a moron. Don’t chase away business Alice, he’s the only damn business you’ve gotten recently.

She knelt down and placed her head in her hands, sinking into the old wooden chair behind the counter.

You’re such an idiot. He’s handsome too. Oh, you’re such an idiot Alice.

“Alice?” Her mother’s soft voice startled her as she looked up to the sound. She must have woken her when she yelled at the customer because her mother was in her pajamas.

“I’m sorry mom, go back to bed. I’m just gonna finish closing up and-“

“Sweetling, stress is getting to you. You need to get out and have fun. Why don’t you go meet up with friends tomorrow and I can run the counter?” Her mother smiled hopefully at Alice, as if she had this speech prepared.

Alice sighed. Her heart felt full at her mother’s offer but she knew it would been too much for her mother to run the counter for that long. “Mom, I’d like that but I can’t do that,” she said with an exasperated tone, flashing a reassuring smile toward her mother on a way to thank her for offering such a kindness.

“Why sweetling? You’re afraid for me? I’ll be fine. It’s you I worry about.”

”Mom-“ Alice began the argument but her mother cut her off.

“If I get tired, I’ll close up shop. I promise.”

Warmth spread across Alice’s cheeks, she hadn’t seen her friends still left in King’s Landing in quite some time. “I think…I think I’d like that mom.”

Her mother slowly moved to her and grinned her bright, wavering smile to Alice, cupping her face and placing a shaky kiss to her forehead, “You’re leaving the shop in good hands Alice. Don’t worry about me tomorrow.”

Likes, comments and reblogs never necessary but always appreciated!

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #a song of ice and fire #fanfic #hotd #aemond smut #aemond fic #house of the dragon aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond x oc #OC: Alice Strong #aemond fluff #dark fic

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devouredbyflame · 7 months ago

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Good morning! It’s Ari, again.

I might drop by to DM sometime, but since I’m about to work, I didn’t want to be rude and just DM/start a conversation to throw questions at you and run off lol I’d rather DM to get to know someone if that makes sense. I thought it might be more appropriate to drop little questions here if any really drive me nuts while I’m reading your blog in the meantime.

If I ever ask anything you don’t want to share, feel free to say so! I’m trying to understand what I’ve read you say about finding your path yourself and avoiding echo chambers when you should be learning from the Divine, so I’m gonna try to limit my questions, but between my having ADHD, anxiety, and just generally being kind of detail-oriented, I still find myself fixated on specific details a lot

So with that ramble out of the way (sorry, I’m kinda long-winded, I’m sure you noticed in my email lol) my actual question(s) for today!:

(I see how long this got, so for a summary, this jumble of questions is about the likenesses of Deities you mention putting on altars)

In your first post about altar creation, I saw you say one of the things you need is a likeness of the Deity you’re making it for. It might be a silly question, but what really counts as a “likeness”? Is it just anything made with the intention of being His likeness? Or are we supposed to make an intuitive guess? I could see maybe going by personal UPG, but assuming we’re just starting out and not confident in anything like that, trying to make the altar to connect in the first place, I’m wondering how we know what we’re looking for.

Since I’m not able to practice openly at home, but my family knows I was a bigger fan of Hiddleston Loki than the MCU itself, I was thinking of finding a good/affordable figure of MCU Loki. So if the owner of the household rifles through my things, as she’s prone to do, and she finds a candle, a marvel figure and a couple of (to her) random things in a box, she’s more likely to think it’s just a box of knickknacks. But I’m afraid this will be seen as some kind of joke, I don’t want to be too familiar, in case I’ve been wrong about my connecting to Him so far.

Final thought- do Deities even really have human-looking appearances? I see Loki appearing differently to different people, especially as a shapeshifter, but is it really a thing that any of Them look a certain way? Like I’ve read you talk about meeting Him face-to-face when He has possessed people in front of you, and how He’s your roommate/in-and-out-of-your-body way of being with you now. But is there a way you “see” Him? And is that a way He’s appeared to you, in a dream or meditation or something, or is it just kinda a creative idea of how He looks?

Sorry for the length, and any errors! I’d stop to edit it down and fix run-on sentences, but I’m already kinda late starting work (oops). So I hope you have a good day! Hopefully I’ll have time to actually chat this weekend, if you’re open to that!

Hi Ari! You're totally fine. I love answering questions so give me what you got and I can do my best to further clarify for you. And also, I am ADHD so I 100% understand the need for detail-oriented clarification. My numerous questions is how I got to where I am today because I would ask Loki so many things about how stuff works so I can better grasp the nature of the concept. I am more than delighted to share what I've learned, how it works, and why it's been successful and that's kind of the point of my being here.

My answers are also really long-winded and mostly because I have a lot of knowledge and experiences and very few places to share it so bear with me.

So, in regards to the likeness question, I would say anything that is made with the intention of it being the Deity in question would be the best point of reference. However, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be an obvious representation, just something that is synonymous with Their energy. Like, if you had a candle vaguely in the shape of the Deity in question or a clay model, a doll, or a picture that reminds you of Them, that also works. The purpose is to draw the energy of that particular Deity into the shrine which means you would need to "open the door" to both sides. Like, the Deity would need to know it is for Them as well as you so you can look at it and go, "ah, yes, that is the God in question." You would think They wouldn't care because They know your heart and your intention, but it is easiest when the object is designed with the God in mind.

That being said, I personally had MCU Loki on my altar for a year or two when I first began, knowing Loki probably was aware of my situation and that I needed to be closeted until I had my own place to live. I don't think it would necessarily be a problem if you have Tom Hiddleston instead of Loki Himself. When I got my own place, I got Him a statue carved out of wood and quite a bit of art by various artists I've found who I think draw Him really well.

The whole debate about whether or not Loki cares for MCU Loki itself is complex and I can possibly get into that in more detail if anyone is ever interested. But based on my experiences with Him, He has indicated that no, He doesn't really care for it to be on your shrine. It's fine if that's what you need to be conspicuous. He only really seems to care if you don't ask Him if it's okay. The point, I think, He wants to make is that by asking Him His opinion, He will make it okay because you gave Him your reasoning and didn't just assume. Which makes sense considering a shrine is a Deity's possession and not a devotee's after the point of making it a shrine. So, as long as you're asking His permission to use it on His shrine, I think that's absolutely clear with Him.

I cannot speak for Him, but I sincerely doubt He would ever wish to put you in the way of any danger when it comes to His shrine being made. However, I know Him to be very possessive of His belongings and prefers giving His consent with certain things. If you invite Him when creating a shrine, He will more than likely give you a sense of what you need to be doing for Him and whether or not it's okay. If you don't trust that, using a pendulum, flipping a coin, or other "yes/no" random generators are helpful. I wouldn't worry too much that you are afraid of insulting Him just because you don't have an option.

Just don't ask Him multiple times the same question because that's when He starts giving false answers. It can get aggravating but typically He doesn't like having only one-sided answers and would prefer to say both "yes" and "no" because He tends to swing both ways when talking about the nature of Himself as well as the Gods since it's never only ever just one single way.

I think He does mind Tom Hiddleston being used as His likeness if you have no reason to hide your shrine and if you don't ask His permission to so so He may say "no" but then "yes" later on given His consent and an explanation of your reasoning.

Now, I don't know your situation, obviously, and there's no reason for you to get into more detail about it to some random stranger on the internet but I will point out that having a shrine is a lot less obvious than you would think. People won't know what they are looking at if they are not pagan. I kept my shrine on my desk for the years I was closeted and my ex who was an atheist as well as my Christian parents did not know what they were looking at unless I specifically told them what it was. Even then, they were confused. I think unless the people you live with know what a pagan is or what a shrine should be, you likely are going to be fine even if they go through your belongings.

I recommend keeping it in a shoe box somewhere or an even smaller box that's tucked away somewhere no one will get to it even if they are looking. It's probably for the best regardless because it would keep other energy from getting to it that would be less than savory and could interrupt the energetic transaction between Loki and yourself.

Also, in regards to appearances, no, Loki does not have a physical appearance whatsoever. He is energy and energy does not have a form that we can see clearly with our two eyes. He likes to call Himself an "orb of light" and that He "floats around all day and does not do much of anything on this physical plane except wait around for stuff to happen."

I have seen Him manifest physically before but it is not human-like nor is it remotely something that is a common occurrence. It looks like glimmers of golden light that shines in the corner of my eye and flashes before it can ever be seen fully. My cats see Him all the time, actually, and watch as He zooms around the apartment and plays with them since cats have a keener sense of vision than we do.

So, no, He does not have any actual human-like qualities. However, it is my understanding that the way we perceive Him is translated by various triggers in our brain. Just like how we visualize a person as they are described that we haven't seen before, Loki essentially has a means to assist people with seeing Him who may have trouble recognizing who He is so He gives a common appearance. He's explained to me that when it's important for someone to know who they are looking at, He will appear to them as a lanky ginger with long red hair, golden eyes and pointed ears. But if it's not, then He can show up as anyone He wants to in any way.

So I suppose it's both the way He wants to be seen and also our own brains piecing together visuals that He triggers and we conceptualize as vaguely human but very obviously not given the amount of energy that resonates off of Him. So it's both intentional that He looks the same way to a lot of people while also being intentional when He doesn't. Regardless of where, how, and why He manifests, though, He feels the exact same way all the time and you'll know who He is just by being in His presence. So, I suppose, also, it doesn't truly matter about what He looks like on your shrine.

I hope that answers your questions (probably more info than you ever asked for) but I'm always open to clarifying things here and otherwise and that goes with anyone who stumbles on my blog. That's why I'm here. Also, yes, please DM whenever you want! I love meeting people. It's my favorite. Talking about this shit is my jam.

#anon ask #deity work #shrine #lokean #norse pagan #devotional polytheism #pagan blog #deity worship #paganblr #norse paganism

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myrmica · 5 months ago

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[#was this base they built just never used after this] great news there is at least literally Once more 😆,29/11 "A New Empire" v=7HIQ6Lg9r1I summary: mostly just mapicc wrangling villagers at the other snowy mountain base "I'm still gonna be evil but people can live in my country if they'd like" ... Mapicc did. make a shrine. of Zam's 2 dropped items like they were talking about. "to our fallen comrade" chat asks if he was *banned*, which, legit! why are you phrasing it like this!

anon ask continued:

"guys I miss Prince Zam this is usually what Zam would be doing and I would just be like making jokes but now I have to actually contribute" 😂 // 33:28-34:15 the problems with playing on 20 hearts (✨i love counter-intuitive ~dynamics) // 47:40-48:16 "I miss Zam. [...] I don't think he does [miss us back]" // 1:02:28-38 Mapicc, having decided to go to spawn to see Zam "I'm not afraid of Zam. I'm afraid of the encounter ... Not afraid of Zam. Not in the slightest." ok (Zam is not visible at spawn. Dirt blocks that haven't grown grass yet are at spawn.) (goes to End, disapproves of the Space Adventure set dressing (netherrack and cobblestone)) // 1:13:27 mapicc being The Evil One is good marketing for his videos (@ brain see you should take the unconvincingness as deliberate) [the genuine belief that zam was being honest about his motives there deteriorated over time] this is why i gave in to Clipblog Urge instead of trying for only summarising to be more space-efficient, see 1:15:05->16:41, which hits: -- I wish we didn't do this [Zamfight] -- If he had restocked he would have been fine. I really don't think it was impossible for him to win, he had duped items—so much more than us. [chat: isn't restocking banned?] The guy was duping, like I don't expect him to - follow the rules -- I don't think we needed to fight. I think it was Ro's fault, I think Ro left him out way too much—that entire time he was being so dumb he was like yeah dude it's a Duality Duo I was supposed to convince Mapicc and that's my fault. Like, Zam is a part of the team too bro, you're being dumb. like... hm. sure, "Zam felt ~left out of Team Awesome" was part of it—though boy Mapicc sure was saying literally yesterday that Spoke made Zam feel left out, which I am reading as a) when talking to Other Lifestealers and not Team or chat he's not going to badmouth Roshambo but Spoke doesn't expect/need that; b) whatever name he puts in that slot - never Mapicc —but, man, is that his understanding of Zam's attitude to ~the rules? (when i listened i thought it absolutely was and now staring at the bare words i'm not sure. lol.) because. if you thought zam's entire or supermajority problem was not being valued/listened to/part of decisions, and not very much the exploits themselves... well. you might think that [not listening to zam about] the duping hurt zam, and also that he might have got rid of them the same way that roshambo 'got rid of them'. ...or you might have eclipse federation problems. ✨narrative coherence. (sorry for the ask spam, trying to send it all in one broke... so many times. 😅)

(no problem! i've consolidated them all for convenience anyway, as you can see :D)

WHAT AN INTERESTING ONE. i think mapicc makes a lot of sense here in relation to his later actions, and it's notable because this happens explicitly before the idea to get back at zam the way he ultimately will has fully occurred to him: “Spoke knows where Zam’s base is. I could pay him a visit. You know how eerie that would be? What if i did that.”

and in the meantime, before he does decide to pay that visit, he's poking around at other story ideas so to speak. like, "what if i built all this stuff and recruited a bunch of people?" which obviously goes nowhere. but it's crazy that, okay, zam betrays team awesome leaving just mapicc and ro, two players. supposedly (in zam's mind at least) doing this fixes an imbalance in the way things were before, where he was left out, where it was always Mapicc and Ro before it was him. but mapicc opens his very second stream after that betrayal with: "Team awesome is no longer a strictly two player team. Out here is going to be the biggest community of lifesteal members ever."

(side note, you're right: mapicc standing in front of a sign that reads "to our fallen comrade," answering the question "is zam banned???" with "WHAT? NO. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?" is killing me.)

like, everything in these two mapicc streams before the shoe drops point to a different kind of narrative than the one we wind up with, but hints are still there. it's sort of a perfect storm; showing up at zam's base would be interesting, and mapicc plays into being the evil one because it's entertaining and memorable, and then zam reacts Like That, which is definitely entertaining and memorable. it all builds on itself. you have mapicc alone out here bemoaning the fact that zam isn't there to do the things he's used to zam doing in his life, honoring him by hanging those items up, privately blaming ro for his not being there anymore, realizing that he knows how to get zam's base coords...

the thing about him blaming ro in private but not to other people's faces is a really good point; take the scene much later where he convinces zam to settle their conflict on mapicc-terms for example, he's rhetorically treating him and ro as a unit because that's what will get the result he wants. so he goes from buying into zam's argument about the duped items being wrong when it's useful to get ro to do what he wants, and then drops it again when he's alone with chat. i think it's like, regardless of what he does or doesn't understand about zam's driving values here, it's more beneficial to mapicc to assume that zam still has duped items/doesn't actually care; it places him in a more versatile position, it can justify his actions when he needs them justified ("he had a chance, more than you guys think." and here it seems relevant that being alone with chat is different from really being alone with himself, which then raises the question of whether a 'character' on ls can exist in the same way without the camera? i think the camera is part of the process through which the character happens in some cases. schrodinger's mapicc. that's besides the point.)

it's really funny the degree to which zam will constantly say he's wrong for things he doesn't actually think he's wrong for in s4, while mapicc will never admit he's wrong for anything even if privately he knows he might be.

#m #asks #lifesteal

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farewellneverland2004 · 11 months ago

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my gripes with ep 1 Phayu

so I came across this post that made me remember my biggest gripe with Phayu at the begining.

Plot-wise, I see why that needed to happen, because unlike everyone else around them, Rain doesn't really Idolize Phayu, in fact, he's semi-jealous because his current crush is enamored by him. Still, he doesn't know the bike bro is Phayu, so he admires him in a different way than others. If he acted nice (like he should've done) and let him know he indeed remembered him, he'd probably just be another admirer from afar. but if Phayu pretended not to remember him when it was only like a day or two ago and they actually talked, he'd have a less than admirable look at Phayu but still recognize him as a flawed person.

while also giving a better excuse as to why Rain didn't hesitate to ask him for help, because he knows more about cars than he does, but since he doesn't remember him, He feels comfortable asking for help from him again. at least, that's how I read it

but character-wise, this seems not only cruel to crushing Rain's spirit but also a way too convoluted and silly plot for a man with Phayu's level of intuition. Like what nitwit tinkers with a guy's car to have an excuse to be their knight in shining leather jacket, yet decides "you know what? I should make the cute guy think I don't remember him instead of just saying the truth that I vividly remember the cutie on the side of the road with a flat tire to maybe idk have a cute little icebreaker talk?"

Like there was no reason for him to think this would actually work out for him in his favor and he just got lucky that Rain is terrible at subtly stealing glances at him. Because for all we know, he could've just been completely willing to accept that he didn't remember him and move on with his life.

If anything, this, along with him fucking with his car should give him the idea that maybe Rain isn't just completely playing hard to get.

Maybe I'm Bias, but I 100% am on Rain's side for the mishap/borderline assault. Phayu! Buddy! you're supposed to be smarter and more mature than this! You genuinely thought that he was supposed to get the hint that you wanted to hook up instead of having him pay money to get his car fixed, when his car was messed up BY YOU!? You're hot! but sometimes people are just stranded in a rainstorm and need a mechanic, and they're willing to pay money for their car to be fixed.

It's not easy for everyone to catch on to the deeper meanings behind "can you pay the price" or whatever. and if you thought he was just clumsily hitting on you, why did ti take you a good head wack before you got the memo that he wasn't looking to sleep with you?

Is that what you think "playing hard to get" is? You're the king of playing hard to get! you should be able to tell the difference I feel.

But, like I said before, I am speaking from the lense of someone who is neurodivergent. So I might just be interpreting things as the way I view interactions with people.

But can someone else tell me if they also agree with this gripe? cause I know that kinda toxic and jackass decisions in the first episode of shows aren't anything new, but I just feel the scene is almost written as if we are supposed to all believe that Rain was the one making mistakes and leading him on because he's supposed to be too dumb to realize how obvious he is about his attraction towards Phayu. And I hate that because not only does that feel like victim blaming, but also excuses Phayu for making a dirt bag decision of trying to sleep with a very confused college student who is verbally telling him to stop and that he was not intentionally throwing himself at him.

like i said before, I love Phayu, but that decision making always pisses me off because it doesn't even really fit with his character.

#love in the air #love in the air series #phayurain #bl gripes #if I hear one more person call Rain stupid again im gonna riot #phayu was the stupid one in ep 1

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redwizardofgay · 2 years ago

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I regret very much to inform all of you that I am still on my bullshit with dnd 4e, and that today I shall be ranting about one of its better ideas: sorting classes into set roles.

So! 4e had this pretty neat idea of actually staying outright, in the rulebooks, what role a specific class was suited for given their abilities. Given that dnd is allegedly a roleplaying game, this is, on the face of it, a good idea. It gives players a good idea of what they're supposed to do in combat beyond "kill the monster" and also gives party building a much more coherent direction than "we need a cleric". Especially with sources acting as a sort of qualifier for what sort of powers and abilities a character could have, this creates a gorgeous symmetry where you could say something like " I want to play a divine striker" and wouldn't you know it 4e has just such a class. As is characteristic for 4e, however, the execution flamed out hard, and doesn't really work as intended.

The game offered a total of four roles: controller, defender, leader and striker. Seems pretty straight forward, right? Well.... by 4e's reckoning "controller" is an area of effect blaster unit, defender is a battlefield manipulator, and leader is healer. Strikers alone actually do what they sound like they should do: single target damage. There are three problems here. Firstly, it's never a good thing when the meaning of a game term doesn't intuitively follow it's obvious meaning. At minimum this slows down acquisition of knowledge and makes communication more difficult than it otherwise needs to be, at worst it actively confuses players and renders the system useless. Secondly, 4e is balanced around there being 5 players at the table, and yet there are only 4 roles. Nothing about that makes sense to me, and I just have more questions than answers there; most notably why certain roles are just not present. Which leads me to point three: missing roles. Long term dnd fans will automatically notice that 4e's role roster leaves out a role for skill challenges (traditionally held by bards and rogues), and the idea of a controller --- something like a Mesmer is Guild Wars or an Enchanter in Everquest fits right in with what 4e is going for, so why isn't there a class to represent that archetype? While I've found a tonne of neat insights from the devs of 4e as to why they made the choices that they did, this is one that still evades me. Like, why would they add this really neat system and then half-ass it so badly? In any case, I want to present you all with an idea of how to fix it.

To begin with, we're going to change around what roles we have. I see no reason to keep the four that we've already got so I'll instead present my thesis of five roles: Controller, Defender, Expert, Striker, and Support.

Controllers are characters who control the flow of battle, most often by manipulating enemy creatures' behaviour (either through mind magic or through punishing effects like countermagic,) the position of friends and foes, and the battlefield itself. A druid's ability to transform the weather and terrain of the battlefield makes them an ideal controller, as does the illusionist's ability to manipulate the perceptions and ideas of their enemies.

Defenders are characters who protect others. While defenders can manipulate enemy behaviour through taunting (an ability common to all classes in this role,) they can also use reactions like opportunity attacks, parrying, and defending (shoving allies out of a space and taking an attack on their behalf) to protect. Fighters and paladins are the quintessential defenders. Fighters' ability to lay down zones of control around themselves and viciously punish anything that gets too close makes them an ideal defender, while the paladin's ability to heal and smite makes them a punishing protector of the weak.

Whenever a party is faced with a skill challenge, they'd best call in an Expert to help them. Experts are characters with oodles of skills like picking locks, recalling knowledge, and tracking monsters that add ample depth to the game experience. In a fight, experts help their friends along by using their skills to get into advantageous positions (in which case they usually serve as sub-strikers) or using their knowledge to ensure every strike is as deadly as it can be (allowing them to serve as sub-supports.) Rogues and bards are quintessential experts.

Strikers are damage dealers, and count both single target and area-of-effect damage dealers as part of their club. As a striker, your primary objective is to hit the enemy as hard as you can from one turn to the next. Wizards and warlocks are both strikers, with wizards being better at multi-target attacks and warlocks being masters of single-target damage. A wizard's ability to command the essences of reality to assault large swaths of the battlefield makes them slow, vulnerable engines of destruction. Warlocks, in contrast, are essentially magical snipers, striking at enemies with punishing accuracy and ferocity before vanishing into magical darkness.

Supports, finally, are the healers, buffers and debuffers of the D&D party. As a support, you are expected to make your allies be all that they can be --- either by patching them up when things go awry, by making them better at things than they usually would be, or by making rest of the world bend to your will. Clerics and warlords are supports. Clerics are powerful healers who magical ability to heal and raise the dead enables many adventurers to push themselves beyond the brink and make it home again. Warlords, in contrast, are tactical super-geniuses whose military know-how ensures that their allies move with the confidence of trained soldiers.

I would also like to introduce the concept of sub-roles that is, a position that a class can play in but doesn't manage to do as well as a proper member of that role would. Rogues, as mentioned above, are adept strikers, even if their primary use is as experts. Wizards, in contrast are primarily strikers but can fill-in for an expert with their vast knowledge of the arcane. With sub-roles also accounted for, classes get to be more than just the role they're meant for, while also making it more difficult for parties to build themselves poorly and suffer as a result.

And that's what I've got one roles so far. I think the idea of having explicit roles for a class can be a good thing, but of course that comes with the caveat that they should be evidently loose. As in, the affinity any class has for a role should be loose enough that only a fool would insist that a rogue cannot be a striker, or a wizard must also be a blaster. That's more for community management than anything else, but I still think it's worth putting down somewhere.

#D&D #DND #D&D 4e #long post #still on my bullshit with DND 4e #I really want to run a game for some folks #but finding people willing to play the worst version of D&D is a bit of a challenge

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mbti-notes · 1 year ago

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Anon wrote: Hello. I hope you are doing well. If possible, I would very much appreciate if you could assist me through assessing which type is more likely to be me. I have been pondering this matter for a while, and I suppose I have managed to narrow down my type to two possibilities: ISFJ and INFJ. I would like to believe that I am almost certain that about having Fe and Ti, and that my type might be the latter (INFJ). However, I wished to receive a distinct perspective from you, because I believe that it might still be possible for me to either have Si as a dominant function, or, the function order to be more different from what I had in mind, thus indicating other type that I had not put into consideration.

For more information, I am 19 years old, and I suspect having clinical depression, anxiety, and autism, as well as trauma and having issues involving difficulty recalling events in the past and lack of attention. Therefore, I believe that these factors could potentially alter the assessment.

Evidence for INFJ:

Introverted Intuition (Ni):

I feel ecstatic when I have a purpose, or something to strive for in my daily life. Ever since I was a child, that was manifested within me as a dream that I ought to achieve. There was an abstract image in my head, where I would be in a state that which not only mostly brought joy and fulfilment to myself, but to other people, too. I felt like I could contribute, somehow, and that I was meant for something rather important. I did not know through which means and processes I had to undergo, and to tell you the truth, that didn't seem to be important to me at the time. As long as I had the results that I wanted, all was well. I also remember me being eager to start working so that I could achieve whatever I had in mind at the time.

On the flip side, when I feel as if I do not know how to proceed without any guidance. I could not help but feel incredibly lost. I have been trying to find something that I can strive for and that is mostly fixed, that will not immediately be modified, because I feel uneasy at the prospect of having a goal that which has its uncertainties. This is why I no longer believe that my existence can be a significant addition to people's lives; they can leave me at any moment, for any reason.

I would like to say that I am able to synthesize information to discover interesting ideas and implications, although, I often felt that my visions hardly concretizes because they are engulfed in imagination. It feels as if my mind is “empty” and murky, and, due to the information I gained, I have a new guess that is seemingly based “out of nowhere”. An example to that would, perhaps, a couple of people that I have known of in an online platform (and it was an one-sided meeting, they likely didn't know anything about my existence. I had a gut feeling that something was very off about them, as well as their attitude. I have not seen people with such a type of behavior before. But, because I did not have any concrete evidence back then, it was just an assumption, and nothing more, so I brushed it off. Months passed, and it turned out that I was right; these two individuals were exposed as gross and despicable.

In general, I have difficulties to make decisions. I guess that, without any fixed values or support, it gets even difficult, because… what are you doing this for? Who are you doing this for? What's the meaning of it all? You are getting tired, and for who, or for what?

I think an example to that would be my studies. I have been needing to talk myself into not succumbing into sleeping and waking up early to review the subjects, because I don't see much purpose in doing that (even though I would find myself satisfied at the ending, for managing to succeed a goal).

I suppose another instance would be the fact that I practically gave up on making friendships in real life within educational settings. Why should I do that? It's not like we are going to keep contact after we are done with our exams. I have a hard time with initiating conversations because I struggle to find anything to talk about, and it is not uncommon for the other party to not reach out, either. Therefore, in most of the cases in my lifetime, this “friendship” is set up to fail due to seemingly mutual lack of interest.

I am always trying to visualize and predict how a situation will play, and, due to that, I end up rehearsing and preparing myself for when it eventually happens. It's as automatic as breathing; it's not something that I can just stop at will. I always try to foresee the “ideal” reactions that others will have at what I do or say, as well as the “ideal” place and time for that. This is why I do not tend to enjoy people who have an often an unpredictable personality, because they make me feel genuine dread. For such people, I take more time to try to guess how my interaction with them will go. Even then, I am not totally confident that the idea that I had in my mind may even become true. Perhaps I am a perfectionist who feels terrible when their ideals are not concretized. An example to that is when I manage to set a scenario in a conversation with people, and it concretizes almost flawlessly, with only a few tolerable changes, I get frustrated when someone or something, that I did not call for to be part of it, decides to interfere by inserting its existence in it, modifying it almost immediately.

As for controlling tendencies… I think I can relate to that, to some degree. My controlling urges manifest as a desire to “fix” something, to go in a different way. An instance would be when someone does something that I find “unacceptable” (even though their action is not really engulfed with ill intent). My initial thoughts are, “That's not how you should behave. That's not how it should go.” However, most of the time, I simply puts such thoughts aside because I know that I should not behave like that.

I suppose the quality of my life is determined by aspirations, yes, and whenever I could not follow them, as well as my ideals that I imposed on myself, I felt as if my life got progressively bad, in a sense. An example is when I wanted to be an artist (mostly for fun, although I did consider it as a possible career one time, only to be discouraged). When it reached a point where I could no longer draw due reasons like lack of motivation, lack of free time, and distaste towards my style, I decided to quit. I felt as if my days got more dull after taking such a decision.

I often find myself feeling as if nothing that I do has any significance — it does not help that I have decided to make nihilism a philosophical part of me, recently. Whenever I contemplate the thought of my future being uncertain, opaque, and not meeting my expectations, I suffer. I fear that the life of happiness and comfort with the people that I adore will never occur, and that I will be stuck in here, in eternal pain, unwanted and unneeded. When I contemplate the thought of not being able to afford a home of my own where I can not only be myself, but also, to be much more happier than I am, it brings a pain to my stomach. I failed at everything that I promised to myself, because my disabilities wouldn't allow me to be an “overachiever” anymore.

I can say that, while do I tend to not have an enjoyable time individuals who were described like that in the guide (“brash”, “shallow”, “fickle”, “narrow-minded”, etc), it should be said that I used to be like that, too. I recognize myself in these descriptions, and, as such, I don't dislike them as much. Still, I don't like to entertain the thought of being perceived as either shallow or narrow-minded, and I make conscious efforts to be not seen like that. My answer on this is twisted and contradictory.

In terms of feedback, one of the only things that would apply to me would be “vague”, “too serious”, “distant” and “unfun”. These were ones that were directly spoken to me, and that I remember.

I remember the fact that me being vague and biased led me to have troubles with my family; they wanted more precise information, not something that could be interpreted wrongly. Therefore, as a result, I forced myself to be as detailed, clear, and precise in my explanations as I could. But that's not something natural.

It is a pattern that I prefer living in my own head instead of being present in the reality. I was even called out on it, saying that not everything is “the perfect fantastic world of my room”, which is where I tend to be most of the time to engulf myself in my daydreaming and find comfort. The reason why such a phrase was associated with me is because, rather than allowing myself to learn essential life skills, I willingly let myself be trapped in my own bubble.

I look at my online friends enjoying themselves in whatever activity they are, and I cannot help bit want to be a part of it to some degree. However, rather than taking any initiative and trying to make new experiences myself, I fantasize about the scenarios of interactions in my head, I encounter me being amused with just their conversations.

As for unrealistic expectations, I suppose an example to that would be my tendency to think that I can still do the things that I used to do as a child, with little to no difficulty. I believe that my disabilities are not “that bad” and that “they won't interfere in my life”, and that I do not require support from other people. It's faulty and illogical, I am aware of that, but I still try to press on, thinking that I can still handle it.

In the same coin, I have also been having the proclivity to see my life as “over”. It's too late for me now, I wasted the opportunities I had. If only I had snatched the chances, if only I were not too fatigued to do such things, if only I had not fooled around during all this time… I shall have to endure the pain now. I doomed myself.

Now, onto my evidences for Se being an inferior function…

Extraverted Sensing (Se):

I appear to have troubles with impatience. When I am forced to stay away from my habitual environment to do something that requires either a lot of processing, or, being aware of my reality, I get restless and irritated, wanting to get over with it as soon as possible so that I can be left alone and/or resume whatever activity I was previously doing, frequently not considering the consequences and repercussions of having such a brash temperament. I guess such a tendency is another reason why I can often be blundering, and this is may be why I often make repeated mistakes.

Whenever I reach a breaking point, I simply need to be left alone, dwelling on the feeling. This has happened several times, where I would cry in front of people due to an undesired change (or an implication of a change) that, to others, did not mean much, but it meant a lot to me. I would feel myself paralyzed, static, unmoving, and almost silent. The intention is not to manipulate others in order to get attention and support. In fact, I do not want their comfort and sympathy at all! I simply wanted to dwell on that for a while, until I felt myself better to proceed. Ignore me and my existence. If you tried to support me, I would most likely not give it a heed, because the world around me is blurry.

I have a policy that, even though it does not work perfectly now, and I know how flawed it may seem, I still cannot seem to let go of it: “Work now, have fun later.”

As a child, I would often place focus on my work. The sooner I finished it, the sooner I could find myself relaxing and enjoying my free time. However, nowadays, I sense a reversion at play; whenever I try to focus on a task involving college, I suddenly decide, “No, this is getting tiring. I am going to listen to music/rest/scroll through social medias/talk to my friends.” And I don't seem to have notion of time passing, so, when the day ends, and I realize that I was not as productive as I wanted to be, I feel guilty, and sometimes even punish myself because of that. I recently decided to implement break sessions to my studies (because I have never had that). But, even then, when I am working, there is this urge to procrastinate even when it's within my study sessions.

Another example would be in this semester in my college. I was so fatigued and fed up with my studies, as well as issues related to my mental health, that I could not find will in myself to give attention to what my teacher was saying in regards to his subject. That was an occasion that was uncharacteristic of me, as I always tried to at least give my utmost focus to my classes and studies, since I appear to lack attention in almost every other area. Abruptly, I decided that I would do well conversing with my online friends in the middle of the lecture. It did not do much, though, as I still felt awful.

I also realized that I have the proclivity to only pay attention to my surroundings in order to complete a goal. Generally speaking, I tend to feel anxious whenever that happens. This is elaborated on my comment about my family calling me “vague”; I forcibly developed the ability to speak in great amounts of details because my explanations were seemingly lacking. On the days of exam, I always tend to quickly and desperately skim through my papers in order to refresh my mind of the details, because I know that it does not matter if I understand the general concept, there might be something in specific that I do not remember that is most likely going to be present in my tests. Other than that, I cannot bring myself to be fully present. The issues were already present even before I found out I often have depressive and dissociative episodes; I was (and I still am) often called out for not being attentive.

Onto the auxiliary…

Extraverted Feeling (Fe):

For example of resisting Fe, I have developed the habit of distancing myself from others whenever I feel as if my presence is not wanted or needed, I am not doing well, but I would rather not tell anyone and simply isolate myself, or that I did something that hurt someone I cared about (regardless of them confirming that directly). I also have been keep my relationships at an arm's length because I fear that, if I get too attached, in the long run, it is going to wound me even further should they leave me (or I decide to leave them, because they wronged me). Nevertheless, I still find myself craving for emotional intimacy, even though I also fear it.

I have a difficult time seeing people having differences and complexities of their own, specially when I see myself in them (or when we are too alike). An instance would be making a type of joke that I think the other person would find amusing because that is what I would find laughable. There have been occasions where I genuinely hurt people with my antics, and that I have not realized that I did that until it was too late. I was under the impression that we were having a good time, and that they were not taking it seriously. I was incorrect in that, however. I can hardly tell whenever I go too far with my jesting, so, because of that, I got into the habit of making little to no jokes, having a “humourless” demeanor in the process. That is something that I am trying to change, however, and I do make sure that the jokes, as unfunny as they may seem at times, are not harmful.

The greatest example that I can provide of overindulging Fe is silently allowing people who are close to me to unintentionally overstep boundaries that which I have established. They are a great addition to my life, and they contribute positively to my happiness. But, sometimes, they will do things that make me uncomfortable without meaning to. And, I quietly endure it whenever that happens, giving excuses to not remind them not to do that, because they are either going through an arduous time, or, the interaction that we are having is very entertaining and joyful… I don't want to ruin it — or make it worse, should they feel bad during the conversation — with my selfish reminders. I am too afraid of doing that, because it's not the right moment. I can certainly handle the discomfort; right now, they are more significant. Their thoughts on me are very important, and I wouldn't want them to think negatively of me in any manner. I often sacrifice my own needs and thoughts in order to meet theirs. I nod to some ideas that they have — reasonable ideas, of course, not those that could be extremely harmful — even though, many times, I don't initially agree with them, or have different thoughts because their concept is not what I had in mind. My values, opinions, and ideals, though seemingly rigid, commonly shift quickly when I meet a new person and I desire them to stay in my life. It's a chance to make a new friend, so, I often try to find common ground between my perspective and theirs, and if I have to change an opinion of mine for that, so be it. I am often dreadful that my friends might despise me in some manner, due to a wrongdoing that I may have done to them at some point. Because of that, in an eventful day, they decide to either leave me behind and cut ties with me, or, severely scrutinize me.

I am afraid that I am not sure if I can provide a great instance of “healthy Fe”. I actually believe that I am quite unhealthy. However, I will try.

In occasions where it is perceived that my Fe is healthier, I frequently give room for others to place their thoughts in situation first, before I say anything. Sometimes, I will even incorporate some of their takes and concepts into my belief system, sucking them like a sponge (although, I am aware that type of behavior can, too, be considered unhealthy). I will try to understand their side to the best of my capabilities. This means a lot for someone like me, who, admittedly, tends to be quite self-centered and does not often regard other people's views. This part of me got diminished over the years, however, due to me willfully wishing to change that. I have a more fair comprehension of people, holding a less partial nature, and being more respectful of their boundaries and wishes. I will do antics if it means I can put on a smile in another person's face.

Now, onto the next function…

Introverted Thinking (Ti):

For a moment, I thought I would be a thinking type because I have been shown to be logical-driven; I often put emphasis on reason, and on things that make sense. Yet, whenever my seemingly sound declarations are put into question, or, I sense that someone is judging me with a criticizing tone, I flinch in fear, because I cannot quite explain further than what I had planned to say. This logic is mostly performative, it is based by other people's reactions.

Whenever people would praise me, they would mention my “intelligence”. And, to tell you the truth, I was proud to know that. It basically went over my head. And, nowadays, being as self-deprecating as I am, I genuinely reached a point where I see being smart as my only redeemable trait, the only thing that I am actually positive about myself. If I am not even intellectually exceptional, then… I don't have anything to talk about myself as a person in a positive light.

I am a fairly emotional and sensitive person, and, like I previously said on a few occasions as while writing this, I am terribly self-centered. That combination is not great, because that would mean that I could not feel joy for a friend who was happy for something good happened to them, when I was suffering. I was mostly thinking about how I was feeling, and that I wanted the person to feel the same.

I learnt, though harshly, that having intense emotions to certain topics, as well as being as egotistical as I used to be, wouldn't do me good. People could take advantage of that, or get away from me. In situations where I would explode in anger during arguments (justifiably or not), such a reaction only made the situation worse on my end. So, I decided to try to supress my emotions at once, thus making myself appear detached to them, and emphasizing rationality. And, I could not see that not expressing them properly could be unhealthy in any manner. I often think how I am aware of my flaws and my wrongdoings, but, when it comes to emotions, I simply put them aside. “I don't get upset easily. What else do you want to know about it?”

I adopted the principle of being impartial to most topics unless I have a deep understanding on things, because “that is the most logical thing to do”, and, “I would rather not share my immediate opinion on something until I have enough information than to quickly form a view on something I may not be knowledgeable at all.” That's hasty, and we don't want to do that, my view may immediately and probably suffer change as I gain information, and in order to not be perceived as someone who modifies their thoughts in the blink of an eye, I would rather just watch and see. Until I have fully comprehended it, I will not speak at all. I would take it to such an extreme that I often disregard my initial feelings on the matter in other to be as neutral as I can.

I have this desire of being as accurate in my judgment as I can, not only in order to make me proud, but in order to please others, too. The more precise, the better, is what I tend to think, because it is more efficient and brings more satisfying results in this manner, even if it may be energetically draining at times.

Now, here is my argument for why ISFJ could be plausible.

Evidence for ISFJ:

Introverted Sensing (Si):

I often feel comfortable when something in the concrete world happens exactly as I expected it to happen, and I get immediately thrown off by sudden changes. When I don't know what to do in a new situation that which is unlike anything I have ever experienced, I almost immediately find myself shaking. An example to that would be the time where I had to take the train to go to a course of mine from a different track by myself. I was feeling quite desperate, because I did not know that, regardless of which track it could take, such a vehicle would lead you to the same path. This information never came to me about that because it was assumed that I already knew of such a thing.

I am not certain if I can fully relate to the “when feeling low, I compare my negative experiences in the past with my positive experiences in the past” statement. Perhaps, as an instance, I could attribute that to my frequent astonishment whenever I speak to literally anyone I have not spoken in a good while. I perceive their changes in their physics, as well as their personality, and I compare to what they were like when I first met them. Sometimes, the alterations are so drastic that it does not feel like I'm speaking to the same person! It feels a little odd, to tell you the truth. Then, I compare myself, and I notice that… I may not have changed a lot. Sometimes, that makes me feel a little upset, because I feel like I should change to some degree, too, but there is this sensation that I am “stuck”, somehow, and that I am unable to proceed in life because of that.

In terms of feedback, I was called stubborn and narrow-minded a few times because I would often go do things in my way, even if they were made in the “wrong” way. It is simply because I got used to do it in such a manner. An example to that would be my family teaching me how to clean the floor with a broom. I guess it's because of my carelessness with physicality that I cannot quite sweep exactly in the way they want me to sweep, but, I cannot quite seem to stop doing it, even when I know that it is not in that way.

I would say that, although I do enjoy to have some routine in order to bring a sensation of stability to my life, I am not fully averse to change. However, it ought to occur in my terms, or be something minor (and even then, I am not always pleased at the possibility from the latter statement).

A manner at which I acquire knowledge is when I recognize patterns and immediately assume that it's going to happen like this because of experience. For example, whenever someone quietly stares at me in a certain way, due to something that I most likely did “wrong”, I swiftly assume they are going to speak something, and if I know the answer, I respond to their unspoken question as soon as possible because, as well as not handling the silent judgment, it has always been like this. For other example, I notice that, for food that I have never tasted, I take a look at its texture, appearence, and smell, and envision the taste in my mouth. When I do that, I tend to compare the possible flavor it has with the flavors of any dishes that I have had in the past before even trying it. This way, I immediately have an assumption of what it is like, and whether I will most likely be prone to enjoy or dislike the nourishment.

I like to go with already established procedures because, as well as providing a sensation of security and familiarity, it is more efficient to go by them, as thinking of alternative processes to take can be quite taxing. Even if the standard instructions do not always work for me, I still try to follow them.

Now, for the inferior function…

Extraverted Intuition (Ne):

I am a person who tends to mostly see only the negative outcomes that a possible action can lead to. Sometimes, in moments of stress, I will allow myself to indulge in more optimistic scenarios. Although, these thoughts are short-lived, and in a matter of seconds, I find myself falling into the urge of being pessimistic once again, automatically thinking of the worst and mentally preparing myself for it (assuming that I cannot avoid it). An example to that could be when teachers in high school go with an approach to their tests and exams that which differs from the standard. I don't remember if they warned beforehand, but, I think they did not do that. I break down because I am certain that I will fail, and thus repeat the year, and that makes me awfully afraid of how my future is going to turn out.

Admittedly, describing what an inferior Ne looks like to me is where it gets tricky, because I feel as if I either have not experienced an Ne grip at all, or, my bad memory makes it arduous to recall if I have had any more moments of grip, or, it is actually because Ne is not present at all (or it is actually a higher function). Hence, this is why this argument looks short. However, I still believed the possibility for ISFJ due to the fact that I believe that I have some similar tendencies that Si dominant users tend to have.

That is it. Thank you very much for reading it thus far. I hope that my analysis has followed the correct requirements for the assessment.

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I don't think dominant Si and inferior Ne fit very well, whereas INFJ functions fit better. I agree that INFJ is most likely correct.

#ask #assessment

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