#‘ur writing sucks ass’ ‘ur mom sucks my ass’

[luvrhyune]

remembering the time my friend said “ur mom” after something i said, so i retaliated with “yeah well your mom after she took my strap last night. yeahhh it went so far up her ass it came out of her mouth.”

[bainutwater85]

can i get nsfw headcanons about any naruto characters? your choice !!

characters: gaara, kiba, kakashi, shikamaru

cw: cum, anal, vibrators, dick sizes, fem reader with fem parts

a/n: hope u enjoy! also i’m writing for them during the time naruto and hinata got married (?) i know they were like 19-23 or 24

GAARA !

when you two are alone: he likes when you lay on him n he rubs your back inching his way down to you ass, rubbing it and kneading it in his hands.

twerk on this man, give him a lap dance i swear to god he won’t be disappointed by anything you shake. his eyes will be wide and he’ll have the biggest smile on his face, if y’all are drunk and doing this then you’ll definitely be fucking wherever you are at. Most likely will come in his pants..

his balls are tight and full, not big but average size for his age. Loves when you just lay next to him and invade his space then slipping a hand in his pants to massage his balls; especially when he’s cramping there to.

he’s not much of a sex guy but definitely prefers dry humping over the real dick in the ass thing, if yknow what i mean. you 2 just get the grind on..slow and sensual. & by dry humping— he’s not humping you like a wild animal, just dragging his boner across your leg/thigh. You do the same..just without ur panties (^_^)

Don’t get me wrong..he’ll have sex and release his load in you or on you a few times— he just has a..in between sex drive (?) basically: sex isn’t always on his mind unless you propose to it and if he’s having a rough day (which is almost everyday & barely resorts to sex to get relaxed) anywayss. With that being said i really feel like he likes to take sex slow so your foreplay will last about 15-20 mins and another 20 while he’s kissing every crack and creavice of your body.

⤴︎ i also feel like he’s big into role play. Like yes, i’ll be the princess and you’ll be the evil big bad wizard that needs my love and touch. Or yes you can be the UPS guy and i can be the mom of 2 college and highschool kids during the summer waiting for my dildo to arrive because me and my husband divorced a few months ago

he don’t lick pussy he SUCKS pussy. he don’t give you fast kitten licks he will head straight for the clit and suck on it like a pacifier and rub it when he’s done.

his cum has an easy flow and isn’t too thick but he spurts out a lot. Also average size with an average girth, 6.4 inches at best🙌🏾

KIBA !

biggg ash, GIRTH && LENGTH WISE. i’d say 6.6 at least. n he lovesss it when you whine and tell him it don’t or won’t fit & try to push him back a bit by his abdomen or run. just for him to grab you by the hips/waist and start pounding into you

unlike gaara he will dive in and lick your pussy clean. sorry not sorry, he has no pussy eating technique and does what he saw a man do on a porno he seen when he 12 years old. yeahhhp

why fuck one hole when you can fuck 3? we all say in usion. He’s an anal god & prefers the butthole than the vagina or mouth.

speaking of mouth..he likes a little teeth on his cock, not a lot tho😗 cause it “tickles” he says.

Guys..he does not have breeder balls..i’m sorry :(. They aren’t small they just aren’t as big but they don’t sag either..they’re TIGHT. tight like if he was to go soft rn his ball sacks would be a futon for his penis

also has bad ball cramps and whines so much when you can’t or won’t help him with it. But “its fine” he says, just don’t beg for any dick post- shark week 😒. && to top it all off he is a MASTER MASTURBATER. when he got with you he stopped watching porn and used his imagination with you being the the source of material.

sleeps bare butt ass naked with his balls all out jus free ballin like we’re in the paleoithic age💀

ass eater ass eaterr. he don’t care if you ain’t shower this morning he wants to go in and down. He’s a free and wild man when it comes to sex, LITERALLY.

whines the most and hates to admit it but he just can’t help how tight you are. Like you wrap around him just right and it makes him come on the spot sometimes

they don’t mind a bush or fuzzy peach. But kiba is the one to cry when you shave or get a wax down there 😗 the others don’t mind if it’s hairy, a little hair never hurt them and plus “we grown” kakashi, kiba and SHIKAMARU say in harmony 😭

+ all of the character listed above

KAKASHI !

always and i mean alwaysss has to have a hand on your ass and tits. it’s not even in a horny or sexual way— he just wants to squeeze and feel the squish of your body. Unknowingly massages them to and you don’t even point it out, then he’s moving his hand looking down at your nipple like “why is it hard?” man you just gave top tier massage that could clear migraines and cramps.

his dick is big and he knows ittt. Sitting on his lap is enough for his dick to go in ‘up mode’ he will nottt back down or let YOU back down when you tease him and try to leave him by hiself with a hardon, no ma’am..you’re gonna finish what you started.

never fully gets naked when you two are having sex. his shirt is off, pants down and his dick coming out the deisgined hole of his boxers. Your bra over your tits and panties pulled to the side.

he lives in the country and rural era of konoha so yes you suck his dick and he eats you out on his back patio, what about it?

doesn’t want you having any dildos, he doesnt know why it makes him so upset you need a FAKE cock to make you cum when you have him. The only sex toys he’ll allow is a vibrator and butt plug. Speaking of vibrators, he so fascinated by the way your plump pussy lips move when you use it😫

preps you all the time, you two could’ve been fucking since the day you got together, he’s still gonna prep you either way cause mans is BIG. he’s more of a shower than grower tho 😗

6.7in when soft and 7inch hard. His girth isn’t wide..it’s more on the skinny side but he reaches places better with the size and length. Once you cried so hard and almost reached your breaking point when his thrust kept getting deeper and slower cause he was hitting the entrance to your cervix and lord was it painful yet pleasing at once.

his balls are average but they sag, not low but they got some weight to em on the inside 😭

SHIKAMARU !

wants to makes movies with you and has made movies with you. But it’s premium tho so only you and him only see it.

always and i mean alwayssss has a hand in your panties or on your thigh. You two would be chillin in the living room, the floor or in the bed (most of the times the bed) and he’ll just sneak his through and just rub your clit. he doesn’t finger you just rubs you slowly, occupied with his phone and your pussy while he’s just strolling through social media and getting you off all at once.

fav position is most likely doggystyle. Why? because if you both are getting your freak on and wanting to watch something..you can do both.

lazy sex..need i say more? he’s got you laying on top of him with his dick barely all the way inside you and giving half ass thrusts while you both are half away and naked at the crack of morning

hates pulling out, says it ruins the good feeling when you’re about to cum. Naw sweetie he just wants to be a dad of a cheerleading team. He might wanna be one and done or 2 kids but the way he cums inside of you..😗 it says otherwise. he doesn’t even pull out till you guys wake up, and if he did so you can go pee and get it out your system— he’s gonna ease way back in and go to bed like that 😭

another sagger and shower but not a grower. He’s average, length and girth. 6.6 hard and 6.6 soft. It’s just limpy yknow?.

also sleeps naked well semi-naked. but you? oh he makes you strip down to your socks and earrings. he wants you skinned down to the toess. He only sleeps in a bare of boxers and time out time he uses rhat as his advantage. won’t even take them off to pull his dick out. he either slips it through the hole of his pants or over the hem of the boxers. Somtimes doesn’t even take it out himself and gets you to do it by grinding it agaisnt you or pulling you closer to it.

cums a lot and cums whenever and wherever tbh. on your face in your mouth, wipes it off for you tho. One thing he lovessss to do is slap his tip on your lips or cheeks he just loves slapping his cock all over your face anyways

[sl33paholics]

hii, so glad to hear that ur back. Can you write a smut with Josuke or Alucard and reader losing their virginity to one another and just being loving to each other throughout the whole thing? Love your other fics btw! :)

Would You Do This With Me?

Josuke Higashikata x fem!reader

Warning(s): Smut (first time, virginity taken on both ends), breast play, nipple play, clit play, hair pulling (on Josuke's end), condom usage (gotta stay safe), moments of awkwardness, and more as you read

This was so fun to write - this took the whole evening yesterday + half of this morning to finish lol

"Josuke...Josuke...JoJo, you rabid dog!"

You'd say to him as the two of you were on the bed, feeling his hands tug onto your bra and the other hand gripping hard on your hip, but the words had fallen from your mouth as he kissed along your jawline, and you could hardly hear them over the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears. You let out a throaty moan, trying to catch your breath, your hips bucking against him as you fought for control over yourself. His lips were soft and warm against yours, and you felt so dizzy that you thought for sure you might faint. "Oh god..." you murmured, tilting your head back and giving yourself up to the sensation as you let out another soft moan, your hands running through his hair as he gripped harder at your hipbones. Your body was humming with pleasure, but it was only getting worse by the second. You couldn't take any more of this. Your whole body was on fire, your blood rushing, you needed more -

His lips left your jaw and moved down to your neck, sucking hard. His teeth scraped at your skin as you let out an embarrassing whine.

Josuke immediately pulled back after hearing that noise. He looked into your eyes, his pupils blown wide and his cheeks flushed red, his hair sticking up everywhere. He was panting hard, his face a mess of red.

"Shit," Josuke whispered, his voice hoarse. Josuke sat up, looking away from you. "Did I do that too quickly?" You blinked owlishly, completely dazed from being kissed like that. "I...I told your ass to calm down...idiot..." You said between taking breaths as you giggled, shaking your head. The both of you just stared at each other for a moment, before Josuke broke out into a smile, a laugh, and then threw himself onto the bed next to you, wrapping his arms around you and pressing kisses all over your face as you tried not to scream.

"You're lucky...that my mom is not here, she's at a girl's night..." Josuke muttered, kissing you on your cheek. His hands wondered up to your bra, and you felt Josuke 's fingers fumbling with the laces, then he reached under your bra, grabbing at one of the straps. You shivered as his cool finger skimmed over your skin, making you snort. He started working on the other strap, pulling at it until it loosened enough for him to slide the garment off your shoulders, laying it next to you on the bed. Josuke began to touch your breasts, rubbing circles into your sensitive skin as his lips trailed across your collarbone. He started kissing you there, making you squirm beneath him.

You bucked your hips to grind into Josuke, biting your lip when he gasped in response to the action. He continued to kiss your collarbone, moving one of his hands down to your nipples and beginning to pinch them, causing you to let out a loud gasp. Josuke grinned as you gave into the sensations, moaning louder now. When he swiftly moved his other hand down now towards your panties, you cried out and grabbed at his arm. "Wait, wait, wait, wait! Not yet..." You bit your lip again, and Josuke paused as he watched you closely. You could feel Josuke growing stiff beneath you, his hand still resting on your breast. Then he seemed to get impatient, leaning forward to kiss you roughly, his tongue thrusting inside your mouth before his fingers slipped underneath your panties. You moaned into his mouth as his fingers touched you, his fingertips gliding gently against your folds.

You groaned as he pressed himself against you, his dick hardening against you, his grip tightening as if warning you. "Josuke...please, don't stop…" You whimpered out.

The tip of his fingers felt the wetness between your folds, his fingers gliding over your clit lightly, sending waves of pleasure over your body. Josuke kept moving his fingers in slow strokes, watching you carefully for signs of discomfort. He didn't want to hurt you, after all. You had already been through a lot, it seemed. But if he was going to be honest, the more he did this, the more aroused he became as well. It took every ounce of self control he possessed not to start fucking you right then and there. "Please, Josuke...don't tease me..." You moaned softly into his ear, feeling his fingers touch your swollen like the curious boy he was. You clenched your thighs together tightly as he kept touching you. You could almost feel your pussy swelling even more at Josuke's touches, your body craving more of his cock, desperate for it.

Josuke stopped his fingers for a moment, then slid his thumb over your clit, slowly stroking over it. The motion sent you over the edge, your body jerking under Josuke's touch.

Josuke removed his other hand from your breast and the one from your panties, positioning your legs as he finally took off your panties, tossing them aside.

You're now completely naked, for the first time in months of dating JoJo.

You were so lost in a trance that you didn't even notice that your boyfriend took off his boxers as well, his dick jutting out proudly as he climbed atop you. His face was flushed, his breathing ragged and labored, and you could see the dark veins pulsating in his neck. "You bought the condoms, right, JoJo?" You asked nervously, looking up at him from where you were on your elbows, your hands holding onto his shoulders for support. You could already tell how much he wanted you right now. "We... we have to use them..." You panted, reaching up and stroking his face, feeling his stubble scratch against your fingertips.

Josuke nodded jerkily as he reached over to his nightstand to retrieve the condom. "I...I even got lube. This wasn't so easy to get... but I managed to buy it." He admitted sheepishly.

Your mind went blank for a few moments as Josuke went on to put the condom himself, throwing the wrapper to the side. It was only then when you felt the cold, slick feeling of the lube being rubbed on against your clit that your senses kicked in again, and you gasped out loudly. You were about to push up against him, but Josuke pushed you back down onto the bed. "...sorry, it's cold. I thought it'd be kinda warm right now ...for us." He apologized quickly, placing the bottle of lube onto the nightstand and sliding himself on top of you. "Yeah, um...it's fine. Thank you..." You said breathlessly.

The two of you were now staring at one another. Of course, the tension and anxiety were there, but the two of you were also so focused on one another that you were barely aware of anything else. Your boyfriend shifted himself so that he was hovering over you, both of you staring at each other intensely. "Are you ready?" Josuke asked huskily, his hand cupping your cheek. You nodded, closing your eyes to savor the moment. "Just let me know if I'm putting it in too fast or somethin'." He held onto your hand and slowly pushed himself into you, your pussy clamping down onto his length, causing him to moan. "Holy shit...JoJo..!!" You hissed, squeezing his hand. Josuke stopped moving looking at you with concern. "Am I going to fast? Should I stop? Let you adjust?"

"No, no... you're doing good. I just need to adjust..." You said softly, your heart racing as Josuke's shaft moved slowly in and out of you. You began to slowly move to adjust yourself, your body tensing up and relaxing as you adjusted to the feeling. After a little while, Josuke went on to continue and thrust into you as he threw his arms to grab hold of the headboard. Once he was fully in you, he continued to pump himself into you slowly, giving you ample time to adjust to his weight and size. You were able to relax once Josuke's hands grabbed hold of your hips and pulled you closer to him. "Good...so good..."

You hummed, gripping the sheets as Josuke began to sped up his pace.

"Damn, you're tight..." He mumbled, grunting at the pressure you were putting on him. "Fuckin' perfect...like a fucking doll..." He gripped you tighter, his hips pushing harshly into you, his erection straining against your walls. "Josuke!!" You moaned, gripping onto his bicep, your nails digging into his skin. The sudden picked up pace in movement made you squeak and arch your back slightly, your head falling back as your muscles tensed, a low grumble leaving your lips. Josuke immediately pulled back, panting heavily as he looked down on you. "So beautiful..." He whispered, running his hands through your sides.

It was all until he hit your spot.

And all hell broke loose.

You couldn't contain the high-pitched cry that left you as you quickly covered your mouth with your hand, your lips quivering as your whole body shook violently.

The scream took Josuke by shock, and based on your reaction to him, it was a sign to continue thrusting. Before you even had the chance to say something, he moved his hips in quick thrusts, hitting your spot as hard as Josuke possibly could, sending another wave of pleasure rushing through you, your entire body tense as you screamed at the top of your lungs.

Like introducing a new toy to a toddler, Josuke couldn't stop. The sound of your voice was like music to his ears, sending a chill throughout his body as he increased his speed, driving his cock deeper into you, making you writhe with pure bliss. Josuke could hear you crying, muffled noises of pleasure coming from your throat. He'd never heard you make noise like that before, and it excited him beyond words.

Josuke leaned down as your arms quickly clasped around him tightly, your body arching up against him as your legs wrapped around his waist. Your stomach felt like it was burning and ready to burst any moment now. You could already feel your juices soaking the bedsheets, pooling beneath you as you squirmed and rocked your hips wildly, your cries filling the room.

Soon enough, the two of you reached your climax simultaneously. You were shaking uncontrollably, your body convulsing underneath Josuke as he came within you, spilling his seed inside of the now messy-used condom. You closed your eyes tight as you released your own release, a quiet sob escaping your lips as you tried to regain some kind of composure, your fingers trembling against his bare chest and your eyes fluttering open.

The two of you stayed there, in that position, for as long as you needed to. Josuke moved away from you as your arms dropped from his back, beside you. Josuke slowly pulled out of you, removing the condom off of him and tossing it carelessly on the ground. He lay down beside you, his arm circling your waist. "...you're going to have to clean that up, you know? That's gross.." You'd say quietly, burying your face on Josuke's chest. You felt his hand stroke your back comfortingly.

Josuke chuckled softly, resting his chin on the crown of your head. "I know... I'm just exhausted and too tired to leave the bed right now..." JoJo poutted, his arms tightening their grip around you as you both laid like that for a few minutes, the two of you simply enjoying each others company. Soon enough, you yourselfdrifting off to sleep, snuggling up towards Josuke, feeling safe and secure, your body relaxed after the orgasm the two of you had.

[moneymartin]

OKOK SO I JUST SAW THE NOTIF!!

so hear me out…maybe reader is like a fam friend of Kate’s. They were best friends and played together all the time. They went to Iowa together, and are roommates. Reader plays volleyball, soccer, softball, wtv you want. And like a slow burn friends to lovers!!?? (i’m a whore for friends to lovers) i’m talking mutual pining, years of attraction and feelings…literally brewing for 22 years (kate’s going to be 24 soon, so like they’re moms were bestfriends so Kate and readers friendship started when they were like 2?)

PLSPLSPLSPLS IF U CAN!?😋

・❥・- no hard feelings.

summary: basically the req lol. r plays soccer at uoi and kate is a nervous wreck 😭

warnings: none rlly… just the use of y/n if that even counts as one??? 💀

rpf!!! don’t read it if ur uncomfortable 😣

wc: 2.25k

a/n: not my usual stuff, i know. i’ve just been itching to write something about kate :( plz don’t unfollow me guys and don’t leave me mooties </3 🤧 i swear i’m going back on my yjs grind once school ends. every divider is a timeskip btw cuz this is lowk long and im layz asfk… also kind of messy i’m so sorry

NOT PROOFREAD!!!!

22 years. you and kate have been friends for 22 fucking years, and she hasn’t picked up yet. your very obvious feelings for her are starting to fade the more she’s been avoiding them. it sucks so fucking much.

these stupid feelings started when both of you ended up at the same university and the same dorm. you never saw kate in that light. she was your mom’s best friend’s kid, and the rest was history. you played tackle football with her when she had nobody else to play with, practiced basketball with her. you two were practically attached to the hip. the same elementary, middle school, highschool, and the same damn college.

it wasn’t like you could just leave too. the scholarship you were offered for soccer was totally worth the taking, and you couldn’t leave behind the team either. the first few times you gained feelings for kate was when you were in middle school. ‘experimenting’ with your feelings. well, that was your guys’ excuse after you two losers got caught by her mom. after that it was just dating stupid boys to get your head out of it and your head off of kate. thankfully, she was trying to do the same exact solution. you knew a lot about her.

but the one thing you didn’t know was that she felt the exact same. she was just too scared to say it. its not like she wants to lose a 22 year friendship over her uncontrollable feelings. first thing she did was go to caitlin, and she was practically freaking the hell out over it. cait was definitely the anchor between the both of you. helping you with accidental arguments so you didn’t lose kate, helping you out with what to say when she was upset. it was good having someone like that, but it was so incredibly stressful having to consistently ask for some sort of advice.

eventually you were tired of it. tired of waiting for something to happen. waiting for a move to be made by kate or maybe just a few little hints that kept you going. although you couldn’t anymore. it was draining, like someone who didn’t realize what you felt about them. you told caitlin everything after that reality set in for you. it was the blinding of your feelings that let everything slip through your mind and basically fly over your head. how could you be so naive to believe that she did and you were just trying hard for nothing in return. it was dumb, and you knew that much.

one night after a long day of testing and practice, you stumble your way into your dorm, the door locked and a frown crossing your face. the keys were in your stupid locker. “open the door, please..” you murmur, voice tired and confused. you bring your fist up to the door and knock softly, the sound of the lock clicking and the door creaking open. “jeez. soccer must’ve been a pain in the ass. you look like shit.” kate laughs, grabbing your arm gently to stable your body. letting out a heavy huff of breath, you lean slightly into her and drop your arms to your sides. “tell me about it.” she smiles and hoists you up carefully, locking the door and bringing you to the living room.

the moment your butt hits the couch cushion you let out a soft sigh and look at kate, her big stupid and soft eyes locking onto yours. the corners of your lips curl up slightly and you snicker, raising your eyebrows. “do you really wanna know? cause its a stupid story.” you exaggerate and rub the back of your neck. kate takes the spot next to you and nods continuously, her head leaning onto your shoulder. “trust me, dude. i wanna hear it.”

“kay, well… coach dilanni was being a total douche about what i wanted to practice. i mean, its fucking practice for a reason. i’m supposed to practice what i need to practice! not what he wants me to practice.” your voice gets a little low and you start to slur out your words. the repeated words and slow murmurs make her laugh a little, her arm hooking around your neck and bringing your head towards hers. “and he gave me so much attitude. like, the more i tried to defend myself the more he spoke over me. the old head was thinking about benching me during the champ game!!!” you blurt out and let out a groan.

she starts to realize just how tired you are and pouts, her head moving away, and her hands cupping your face. your head involuntarily moves to stare at hers, your eyes half open, your lips pursed slightly, and your head dropped down a little. “he looks like a nice old guy but deep down that man has some serious problems,” you grumble. “and don’t even get me started on the tests i had to take.” kate’s eyebrows raise and her face stills for a moment when you bury your face deep into her neck. your breath tickles at her skin and she feels shivers running up and down her back. you’re so tired you don’t even realize what you’re doing.

“y/n…” she breathes out heavily and you hear her swallow down whatever she needs to say. your head pulls out and you look at her with big eyes too, just like how she did earlier. water forms in your ducts as you try to fight off the sleepiness, but the way kate is looking at you makes it hard to get off of her. “hm?” you hum and drop your head against her shoulder. “never mind, okay.” her voice drops too and softens a bit, a familiar heat rushing up to your face when she runs her fingers up and down your back.

the warmth of her body and the relief you feel when you hear her voice makes your head spin like crazy. its like she knows what you feel about her and is just doing this to mess with you. the second your eyes shut, kate sucks in a sharp breath in through her teeth and practically manhandles you. gently, of course. but shes picked you up like a damn baby and you don’t have the slightest intention of stopping her from doing it.

your stomach spins and churns awkwardly from the contact. you’ve known kate all your life, but right now it feels like you just saw her on campus for the first time. after you got that news you guys shared a room together. you suddenly get the reminder of your feelings for her, like a shit ton of fireworks igniting in your stomach. more so reigniting. she brushes her fingers up against your face to move a few strands of hair from it.

kate likes you. she really fucking does, and its just the fact that she can’t spit it out no matter how much she wants to. no matter how much she wants to scream it from the rooftop and tell the whole world about how she feels. she thinks you’re the prettiest girl she’s ever seen and she has that gut feeling where she believes that you feel the same way. she isn’t stupid but shes smitten and that’s blinding her as well. just like how it did to you.

“y’know how we’ve been friends for like.. a bajillion years?” she laughs nervously and curls her lips downwards a bit. you know that shes nervous and its starting to make you nervous too. you’re starting to sweat a little underneath your shirt and you can somehow feel it under your skin. “yeah, why?” you ask and open your eyes to look at her face. its all red, her eyes open wide with anxiety, and her mouth slightly parted.

“okay, listen to me and don’t freak out… please.” kate squeaks out and moves her hands away from you. her reactions and jitters cause you to sit up and watch her every move just to make sure she really doesn’t start to freak. theres a feeling in your stomach that can’t really be put into words. it’s that feeling where you wanna throw up because of your nerves and the wanna jump off a bridge before you hear what she says. “i won’t go crazy, you idiot. what’s wrong with you?” you ask with a little chuckle but it quickly fades away when you realize what she’s about to say.

you’re not feeling this because you’re embarrassed of what she’s feeling. you’re just nervous and not used to it. at least thats what you’re telling yourself. there’s a little voice in your head repeatedly telling you to “calm the fuck down!” and it isn’t really helping. your brain is fried from the tiredness you feel too, but this seems really important. “nothing is wrong with me, i just dunno.. need to tell you something before its too late.” she whispers and tilts her head to the side a little, figuring out how she has to say it and if she really should let you know. now that she’s declared that she needs to say this little thing before its ‘too late’ confirms everything you need to know.

“this probably sounds stupid and dumb and i’m going to sound like the biggest loser in the world,” she starts, her voice cracking and her face contorting in different ways you’ve never seen before. in all the years you’ve know kate, shes never been so anxious and nervous about something like this before. its kinda scary. “but i think i’m like.. really in love with you.” she stumbles over her words and buries her face into her hands. it takes you a moment to process what she says as the sleepiness corrupts your mind. “i’m sorry, what?” you mutter.

“i said i like you!!!” kate blurts out and you watch her face turn the reddest you’ve ever seen it. you’ve been with her for almost all of her relationships and this is the first time her face has ever looked like that. her previous partners have never had her like this, they’ve never had her the way you have, and you’re realizing that just now. “oh.” you gulp. the words you’ve been waiting to hear for more than half of your life have finally been said, and it is the greatest relief you’ve ever felt in your life. and everything makes sense now.

the way kate brushes up against you in the halls, the fact she always walks you to your classes no matter how far hers is from it, her taking you to soccer practice, her watching your games like how you watch her, and the fact that you are the reason she blushes like she’s embarrassed herself. although she hasn’t, she’s just so into you, and nothing is gonna change the way she feels. “‘oh?’ is that it?” kate spits out and starts to panic a little. after she’s just admitted, she’s expected something different from you. maybe the same thing? she doesn’t know what she was expecting, it just wasn’t that.

your eyes widen and your face grows redder the longer you stare at her and when your tiny tired peabrain registers that she reciprocates what you feel. “no! that’s not it, stupid, i like you too!” you blurt out as well and push her shoulders. kate has a look of something on her face. you can’t tell what it is but she seems happy about what you said, and that makes your emotions explode. “okay, you know what? i love you, actually! i love you, i love you, i love you!!!!!!!!” you stutter out a bunch of times. years and years of hoping and waiting that she’ll finally do something comes to a stop. “i have my whole damn life.” you murmur, catching your breath slightly from the continuous shouting of your feelings at her. the burning and churning in your stomach goes away and is replaced with a certain sense of relief. a relief that you haven’t felt in ages.

“oh so, you’re serious, serious?”

“yes, okay. i’m not joking, like i meant everything.”

“say you swear or i won’t believe one word you say.”

“i swear on coach dilanni’s life.” you giggle, fingers threading through kate’s blonde strands. her head is propped up on your chest and her eyes are slightly open. you two have been sitting there for about ten minutes, talking about why or how you even got these stupid little feelings for each other. but none of you are complaining. matter of fact, you’re both on the verge of falling asleep but the presence from each other makes you both wanna stay up all damn night if you could.

“he’s not gonna like that...” she murmurs, voice soft and slurring a bit. kate wraps her arms tight around your waist, her head moving into a more comfortable position. your hands are all over the place and you’re basically just messing up her hair, one of her eyes closing when a few strands get in her face. “you have no idea what you’re doing, huh?” her lips turn into that smile you know all too well now, and her eyes closing completely. a yawn escapes from in between your lips and she hears it, snapping her head upwards, that smile turning into a smirk.

“kiss me.”

and you do.

[star-dust-shark]

pjo characters as weird and dumb things me and my friends have said

Percy: what the fuck is cockblocking like I can't block ur cock on Snapchat

-

Will: UUUUUUUGH MY ASS HURTS- ooh look a butterfly

-

Leo: I CANT FIND MY PRETTY STICKER- AW FUCK- SHIT- MY VAGINA- OOAOoOoOOooAHAHHAgh

-

Jason: I can't actually believe I just agreed with you but hey here we are

-

Reyna: why the fuck am I friends with any of you hoes

-

Piper: should I...? too late I did it

-

Will: the best way to rizz someone up is by rizzing them up *turns to friend, winks horribly* hey baby girl

-

Rachel: one sec getting my anger out *aggressively splatters paint on canvas*

-

Annabeth: sometimes I'm smart. When I'm smart, I'm smart. *awkward thumbs up and grimace*

-

Octavian: fuck the gays they should all die ... I mean I could fuck some gays

-

Hazel: I'll make you tea but not in a sweet way I'll make it so hot in burns your tongue and you can't speak for a week

-

Frank: hey guys check me out I'm a furry on drugs *WOOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF*

-

Grover: I love plants :3 specifically magic mushrooms but like

-

Leo: I mean I would totally fuck you but like respect man

-

Will: Ugh fuck my life I hate everything *coldplay starts playing* I retract the previous statement I fucking love life

-

Jason: UGH UR ALL SO DUMB but I'm in

-

Nico: if u wanna kys clap ur hands *rapidly claps hands*

-

Piper: *hypnotizes u with my beautiful blue orbs* come over to my house

-

Hazel: respectfully hope you die <3

-

Frank: I'm on acid what's it called when a ton of cats jump on each other a dog pile or a cat pile

-

Reyna: OH THANK GOD- sike I don't believe in that motherfucker hahahha

-

Annabeth: I'm so smart *holds up the one good test I got in school* see the teacher even gave me an 11/10 because I wrote my name in a cool font

-

Leo: UUUUUGGGGGHHHH IM SO HORNY- *mom walks in* oh hi mom how are you

-

Will: we can just... fuck. as friends though no homo.

-

Rachel: IF I DON'T DRAW SOMETHING IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES I AM GOING TO MAUL SOMEONE

-

Octavian: you all suck and I hate you *silence* no wait come back

-

Someone: haha ur gay

Nico: yeah??? and ur not?? like don't knock it until you try it dick is yummy man

-

Hazel: someone just told me what smearing is and honestly I kinda wanna die *fix you by coldplay starts playing* LMAO WTF

-

Frank: you sad ass emo dog just be happy

-

Percy: I Am OnE wiTh ThE oCeAn AnD HopEfuLLy aLL oF ThE hOt MerPeOpLe In iT

-

Leo: *talking to literally nobody* hey guys!! gonna go get my top surgery! *shows up at claires*

-

Reyna: I only wanna die sometimes and that's normal right

RIGHT

-

Will: *playing guitar* haha look guys I'm fingering A minor *strums violently*

-

Jason: screw men *eyes widen* I should start taking my own advice ngl

-

Will: *listening to a playlist that Nico made him* ugh my emo ass boyfriend and his stupid music I hate him *proceeds to write his name over and over again in diary with hearts around it*

-

Nico: what if I strangle someone with a pair of earbuds

Will: please don't

-

Leo: *in demonic voice* LeAf *eats it*

-

Nico: *pulls gay flag out of pocket* omg it's u

Will: *shuffles around in pocket, finds condom* ... it's u, vanilla flavoured

-

Leo: my name's Leo

Percy: and I like jugs

Nico: I'm mentally ill

Leo: and I'm on drugs :D

-

Jason: is there anything better than pussy

Piper: I thought you where gay

Jason:

Jason: my boyfriend's trans?

-

Will: the temptation to fuck an emo boy rn is killing me

-

Leo: the masculine urge to

Leo:

Leo: I forgor

-

Will: that's good!

Nico: like me in bed

*silence*

-

Leo: smash or pass Ryan Gosling

Nico: SMASH

Will: PASS

Solangelo: *glares at each other*

-

Nico: omg stop with that song

Will: but

Will: but you can take me hot to go :(

-

Annabeth: yeah

Percy: yeah

Annabeth: *in funny voice* yeah

Percy *hentai moan* yEEEAAAaaH

-

Leo: *pointing at Nico* EEEEEEWWWW AN EMOOOOOO EWWW

-

Jason: never ever look up what an eyesha erotica lyric means

Reyna:

Reyna: oh you poor soul *pats back*

-

Nico: I can't breathe

Will: just

Will: breathe air

Nico: I breathe drugs

-

Piper: I'm gonna go play basketball

Leo: haha play with my balls

Jason: already do

Leo: *chokes on air*

well that's all sorry for the torture, thanks to @localcosplaymushroom, @crowwolf8, @justagremlinoncaffeine, and @secret-mewtwo for all of the funny convos that went into this

[samandcolbyownme]

since ur now writing for Zach can I pls get a Jared Bailey one shot?? You have free rein and no rish at all for this req. thank uuu fic mommy

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of Jared being drunk, drink, flirting, friends to lovers trope, love confession, slight sexting (Jared is bold when he’s drunk), unprotected sex, semi rough actions, biting, scratching, but more love making pretty much? Slight angst, maybe? Fluff with a dash of smut

Based off of this TikTok.

Word count: 4.4k | not really edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You weren’t really excited about Coachella, but your friends on the podcast were destined to change your mind.

You joined the podcast earlier on in the year, and when Coachella came around, you had a ticket that you couldn’t get out of - no matter how hard you tried.

“Come on.” Tara begs, “You need to come with us!”

You sigh, “Tara, I don’t r-“

“You’re either coming or you’re fired.” Zach says and Jared steps in, “Hey now. Don’t say that, a lot of people like her.”

“By those people you mean you?” Zach teases and Jared’s face turns a shade of red, “That- No. I didn’t..” he laughs, “I think it would add to the fun if y/n came with us.”

You let out a long, dramatic sigh, “Twist my arm harder why don’t you?”

——

Weekend one was a partial blur.

You get bits and pieces as you look at the photos you took, which were a mess by the way, but they were so funny to look at.

You had to admit, you were so glad you didn’t try to back out last minute.

One thing in particular that you remember clear as day is standing in the crowd, Jared’s arm around you as you listen to Lana and Billie sing ‘Ocean Eyes’.

You were in total awe of them, just like Jared was of you.

He looks down at you a gently smile resting on his lips as he admires your face. How your eyes are glazed over from a mixture of alcohol happiness because being here was so much better than you had originally thought.

Even though he was slightly plastered, Jared couldn’t seem to keep his love drunk stare off of you. You’d look up at him and he’d just smile at you before looking back up toward the stage.

Every now and then Tara would elbow you and smirk, teasing you about how close you and Jared have become, “I told you, you needed to come.”

You roll your eyes, smiling as you lean into Jared’s body more. Another think you remember,is how you and Jared went back and fourth, all night stealing drunk kisses from each other.

It quickly turned into a competition and the race to find who can steal the most by the end of the night was on - and you won that race.

As weekend one at Coachella came to an end, you can definitely feel that you and Jared are closer. You text and talk on the phone more. You pick on him during the podcasts more and even though his red cheeks scream that he hates it, he secretly loves any attention you give him.

You tried not to let it get to you, but you were questioning yourself on why he hasn’t said anything about what happened.

Fuck, pictures get out from fans, you’re most likely getting a dating label slapped on your asses.

——

W E E K E N D • T W O

“Sucks you can’t come tonight.” Jared says as he puts on his hat. Your eyes move up his body, and you nod as you lean back in the chair, “Yeah, but you know what they say, your moms birthday only happens once a yet or something like that.”

Jared starts laughing and you join in, proud of your joke.

“God I love you.”

You both freeze and he laughs nervously, “You know, cause you’re my best friend. You got that label faster than Zach did.”

You smile slightly, keeping the pain of being friend zoned as contained as you can, “Right.”

He must not remember last weekend.

You nod, “No I get it.” You stand up, checking your phone, “I gotta go. I have to get dressed and then go to my parents house.”

You walk towards the door and stop before you leave, “Have fun tonight.” You smile and he nods, “It’ll be hard without you.”

You laugh, “Call me if you get bored.” As you walk towards the steps, Jared yells out, “You’re going to regret saying that.”

——

As you’re sitting in your parents living room, you get a text from jared and you smile as you read over it, Ready for that phone call yet? I’m bored out of my fucking mind.

Attached was a selfie of him from the chin up. You save that, adding it to the collection of birthday post photos, My sister is taking forever to get ready, so if you want to call quick you can.

Within a quick minute, your phone lights up with JareBear🧸🤍 appearing across the screen. You bring it to your ear as you answer, “Is it really that bad?”

“Oh god, you have no idea.” He groans on the other end, “The artist we’re waiting for, I guess is Ice Spice, but she doesn’t come on until later.”

“sorry to tell ya, sweetie, but you got a few more hours yet.” You laugh slightly and he sighs, whining out, “Don’t make it worse.”

You smirk, “Sorry, sorry.”

Your mind races as you think about just asking him if he remembers what happened last weekend and why you aren’t his girlfriend yet, but as soon as you get read to, your mom rushes out, “Okay. Okay. Shes finally ready.”

“Sounds like you gotta go.” Jared sighs, “Tell your mom I said happy birthday.”

You don’t want to hang up, but you know it’s the right thing to do, “I’ll call you later.” You laugh as you stand up, “Don’t get drunk, too fast.”

He laughs, “I’m not making any promises, sweetheart.”

You tilt your head, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Y/n.” Your sister waves you on and you nod, “Alright, I’m being herded so..” you laugh, “Be safe. Call if you need anything.”

“Promise.”

You hang up and walk over to your sister. She stares st you and you give her a look, “What?”

“That JareBear?” She smirks and you scoff, “I- none.. of your business.” You walk down to the car and she sighs, “The way he looks at you on the podcast, y/n,.”

You stop before you open the door and you nod, “When he looks at me.. I feel like he’s looking at me like I’m actually something worth looking at.”

She juts her lip out and furrows her brows, “He sooo likes you.” She laughs and walks around to get in. Your mom looks back at you, “How’s Jared?”

You feel your cheek heat at the sound of his name, “He’s good. He says happy birthday by the way.” She smiles, “Tell him I said thank you.”

You look down, tapping the screen to type out a text to Jared, My mom says thank you for the birthday wishes.

You see the bubbles pop up and you smile at how fast he answers you, I love your mom, she’s so nice. You smile, Yeah, now you know where I get my niceness from.

You rest your phone down and watch out the window as your mind races about what you are with Jared.

——

As the night goes on, you can tell that Jared is getting drunker by the hour, but he still manages to answer you right away.

It might not be anything related to your previous text, but he still answers you.

You cover your mouth as you read the texts coming in from Jared, “Oh my god.” You lean over to your sister, whispering lowly to her as you bring your phone between the two of you, “look at this.”

I have a glowsitck

Gkoesyick

Fuck

GLOWSTCK

damn it

You laugh and type back quickly before he sends another text, Are you drunk again, J?

You knew calling him J would get him. You don’t do it often, but you’re the only person who calls him that, so it drives Jared crazy in such a good way.

“Do you think he is?” Your sister asks and you laugh with a nod, “Dude.” You lean in, “Last weekend we-“ you glance up at your mom and dad, who are lost in conversation with their friends.

You lower your voice, “When we were drunk, we were all over each other. Literally had a competition to see who could steal kisses from the other most.”

“Who won?”

“Me.” You smirk, and she nods, “Good, carry on.”

You continue filling her in on the night and she smirks, “If you guys don’t become a couple by the end of night, I’m calling him nyself.”

You laugh, looking down as you read his text, Maybe a little bit, and don’t do that.

You bite your lip, playing innocent, Don’t do what?

Your sister leans in, “I think he’s just waiting for another sign that says you want him.” You roll your eyes and before you can argue, she sighs, “This is a man we’re talking about, okay? As much as we hate it, most of them are stubborn as fuck and can’t see what’s right there.”

You shrug, “i think I’ll ask him when I talk to him tomorrow, when he isn’t drunk.” You sip your wine and almost spit it out at your sister’s next statement.

“Invite him back for your place tonight.”

“I can’t do that.” You laugh nervously as you sip your wine, “that’s.. what if.. I can’t..” you shake your head and down the rest of your wine, just in time for the waiter to come and refill the glasses.

Your phone vibrates and you look down after thanking the waiter, You know whayt swerthesr t

You smirk, Are you having fun, J?

“If he wakes up at your place then you have no choice but to talk to him about your relationship.” Your sister nudges you, “That man loves you.”

You smile, pressing your lips together as you chew on your inner cheek. You look down at your phone and your heart skips a beat at Jared’s text, I rally wish yoi werehere we coujd have a repest of last week emf.

You chew on your thumbnail, really thinking about what your sister said, until your mom pulls you from your thoughts, “right, y/n? Honey.”

“What? Sorry.” You laugh slightly, “I think I had a little bit too much wine.” Your mom laughs, “I was just telling Erica about you and Jared, how long have you been together?”

“You do that Dropouts Podcast with him, too, right?” Erica adds and you sigh, “Mom.” You laugh, “Nothing is official, and please don’t be spreading that stuff around.”

“Yeah mom, if that gets out and it’s not true, the fans will come for you.” Your sister jokes and your mom rolls her eyes, “Oh gosh, you and these influencer rules and stuff.”

She goes back to her conversation and you go back go looking at Jared’s message, So you do remember.

He instantly responds, it’s short but you understand, I do.

You look around, excusing yourself before you get up to go to the bathroom, composing yourself because this is a step in the right direction - but you were naturally nervous.

You lean against the sink as you type, I was kind of worried you didn’t remember all of the things with us. That’s about all I can remember.

You look in the mirror, fixing your hair and reapplying your lipstick before walking back out to the table.

Everyone is standing and gathering their things to head to the car. You follow them out, lagging behind with your sister to fill her in on the conversation.

“Progress.” She nods, “Good progress.”

You can’t help but smile as you get in and you look down at your phone, “They’re watching Ice Spice and then I don’t know what they’re doing.”

“I’ll go get him if need be, just..” she looks at you, mouthing out the words, “Get him to come over.”

You roll your eyes, laughing as you shake your head, “I just..” she cuts you off with a tap on the arm and she shakes her head.

“Fine.” You smirk, “I’ll do it.”

——

The car ride from your parent’s house to your house was nerve racking. You stayed there a little bit after and the heat that’s been building up in the conversation between you and Jared was now on fire.

You sat in your car staring at the messages Jared had sent when you were driving, I’m drimk.

So ddrunk.

I love yoy

I’m drunk and o love hou

You rest your fingers over your lips, jumping slightly when you see his incoming call, “Hey, Jare. You doing okay?”

“I was just.. you haven’t answered my texts and I-“

You cut him off, calming him down, “I just got home. I’m still in my car. Here.” You tap the FaceTime icon, “Go to FaceTime, Jare.”

It takes him a second but when his face pops up on the screen, he smiles when he sees you, “Hiii, pretty girl.”

His words send thousands of butterflies lose in your stomach, “It’s me. Hi. I read your texts and I really think you should Uber to my place when you leave Coachella.”

He raises his brows with a smirk, “I guess it’s a good thing I’m already on my way then, yeah?”

“Wait.” You perk up, “Seriously?”

He laughs, “Yeah I’m walking to my Uber now. I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay.” You bite your lip, “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me, see you soon, baby.”

Your breath hitches and you smile, “See you soon.”

You hang up and race inside, moving around to make everything look nice and neat before running to get a quick shower.

Once feeling refreshed, you opt for a simple t shirt and sweats and your body froze when you heard the door open, “y/n. I’m here.”

You take a deep breath before making your way out, “Hey.” You smile and walk over to him, “How was Ice Spice?”

Jared stares at you before failing at trying to hold back his laughter, “shit, okay. Zach is probably going to bring this up on the podcast because he loves to embarrass me, but-“

He laughs harder, “Okay, so, with us being whatever we are now, would you get mad if I say something about another woman’s ass?”

You furrow your brows in confusion and shake your head, “No.” you raise them, tilting your head, “but, now I’m really intrigued.”

Jared pulls you over to the couch, tossing his hat down on the end stand before he sits down next to you, “so..” he turns towards you, “I’m going to be honest.”

You nod and he sighs, “I was watching the show, and I was thinking about you, and then..” he laughs, “I never knew that someone ass could move like that before.”

You cover your mouth, laughing as you lean back, “Oh my god, Jared.”

“And it..” he lowers his voice, “Turned me on, so then..” He brings his voice back to normal volume, “I naturally thought of you and you know..” he reaches up, brushing hair from your face, “How you make me smile..”

You smile and he smirks as he brushes his hand over your cheek, “and I’m also super horny, but that is way besides the point.”

He laughs slightly and without any hesitation on your end, you grab his face and smash your lips into his. He groans slightly and his hand reaches out to grip your hip, “Mm.” He leans back slightly, eyes scanning over your face, “Do you want to do this?”

You nod, “Do you want to be with me?”

A smirk grows across his face as he nods, “Of course I fucking do.” He pulls you in, kissing you once more as he pulls you into his lap.

His hands snake under your shirt and his cock grows harder as he rolls your perked up nipples between his fingers.

You let out a moan, grinding down on him as he kneads your boobs, “You’re so fuckin’ sexy.” Jared whispers, slipping one hand out from under your shirt so he can cup your cheek, “Take your shirt off for me.”

You nod, bunching up the bottom of your shirt before you pull it over your head. He unties his bandana from his neck and leans forward just enough to slip his shirt from his body.

“So are you.” You lean in, kissing up his chest to his neck then over to his lips. His hands grip your hips, moving them slowly as your tongues dance for dominance.

He wins and bites down on your bottom lip, earning a moan from you. You look down at him when he lets your lip go and you whimper, “Can I finally have you?”

He bites his lip, pulling you into him as he sits up to meet you, “You, my love, can have whatever you want.”

You smirk and slide your hands down, nails dragging against his skin. His jaw falls slack when you lift up to slim a hand under you to palm at his aching cock through his shorts.

You lean in, lips brushing against his ear, “You feel so big, J.”

“Fuck.” He breathes out before pushing his lips to yours. He pulls you into him and rolls you over so your back is flush against the cushions, his lips staying on yours for another minute or so before he sits up to pull your sweats down.

He raises a brow when your bare cunt is revealed to him, a smirk rising on his lips “Almost like you knew I was coming over or something.”

You shrug, giving him a wink, “Gut feelings, you know.”

He smiles and stands up to take his shorts and boxers off before returning to the place between your knees, both naked and so beyond hungry for each other.

“You sure?” He asks one more time and you lay your hands on his cheeks, “Need you in me, Jare.” You pull him closed with your ankles that are locked on his lower back and he groans, “Fuck, baby.”

Your lips part as you feel him rub the tip of his cock against your soaked opening. He pushes in and you gasp out, clinging to him as you feel him stretch out your tight walls.

“Fuck.” He gasps out, burying his face into your neck, groaning louder as he pushes fully into you. You moan loudly, dragging your nails over his shoulders as your lips desperately search for his.

“J-Jared.” You whimper out, getting him to lift his head, “What, baby?” He leans up, putting his weight on his elbow as he brushes hair from your face, “You feel so fucking good.”

“Mo-move. Move, please.” You move your hips and he nods, pulling out and sliding back in. His forehead falls into yours as you both let out moans.

His grip on your body tightens and your hand find its way to his hair, tucking at his hair, “Feels so good.” You breathe out, “I love you.”

His hands travel up to find yours. He pins them above your head and deeps his thrusts, “Say it again.” He whispers, “Please.”

You look up at him, lips parted and brows furrowed as you moan out, “I’m so in love with you.” His lips twitch into a smile, “I’m so in love with you.”

He dips his head down, connecting his lips to yours with a fiery embrace.

You clench around him, whimpering against his lips, “I’m so close. So so close.” You rock your hips and he nods, pulling you to sit up, still straddling his lap.

His cock slips back inside of you and you moan, head tilted back as you grind your hips into his. He slides a hand up to the back of your neck, pulling you down to kiss him.

His other hand holds your hip, squeezing as he groans into your mouth, “Fuck. Where do you want me, sweetheart?”

“Fuck,” you whine, “anywhere.”

You dig your nails into his skin and clench around him, curse words and his name rolling off of your tongue loudly,

He lays you down, his thrusts resuming as soon as your back hits the cushions, “You feel so good.” Jared groans in to your neck, “You’re going to make me cum a lot faster than I wanted to.”

You kiss him, biting down on his bottom lip and gently letting it flop back against his teeth, “Good thing we have all night, right?”

He smirks, nodding his head, “Was hoping you’d say that.” He leans down, thrusts growing sloppy as his lips connect with yours.

You cup his cheeks, clenching around him as you help him chase his high, “Feels so good, J.” You whimper out, “cum for me.”

Your words, delicate yet so, so filthy, push him over the edge.

He pulls out, spilling his cum onto your pelvis with a groan. You gently kiss over his cheeks, rubbing a hand through his hair as he comes down.

He plops next to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek before getting up to grab you a towel, “Do you.. uh, want to shower with me?”

You smile, and despite already getting one, “As long I wake up to you still in my bed in the morning.”

“Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that not happening.” He smiles and holds his hand out, “Come on.”

——

T H E • N E X T • P O D C A S T • E P I S O D E

You sat there, completely soaking up the fact that no one in this room that you and Jared have been seeing each other.

You kept looking over at him and when he’d look at you, you’d look down quick and pretend you were picking lint off your pants or something stupid like that while you fought back a smile.

“Oh! Speaking of Coachella!” Tara says leaning forward, “What was your guys best parts about it?”

They each go around, Tara says music, Zach makes some stupid joke. Alyssa says the music and seeing the outfits.

“I think.. one of my favorite parts about Coachella, was from weekend one.” Jared says and Tara glances at you, “He’s going to say the Lana performance.”

“How did you-“ Zach smiles, his cheeks turning red, “but.. Yeah. That was just.. a really good moment for me.”

You smirk at Tara and take a deep breath, “Jared was one of the best parts about my Coachella.” You look over at him and he smirks, lifting his hands.

“Every time I saw you, I just got so exited.” Jared smiles as he nods. You nod, “It made me excited, you picked me up a few times as just made sure I was okay. It was cute.”

“Yeah.” Jared says with a huge smile, “You said that that thing wasn’t really your style so we all kind of agreed to try and make it as fun for you as it could be.” Jared smiles and you pout, “You do love me.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Zach says, “Anyway-“

“Way to butt in and ruin the mood, Zachary.” You roll your eyes and laugh. Zach gasps, “Oh. Speaking of..” he points to Jared, “What did you think of that Ice Spice performance?”

“Oh my god!” Tara gasps, “I loved it!”

Jared’s mouth falls open and you start laughing because you already know where this is going.

Zach is definitely calling Jared out about it on the podcast, “Dude.. no.” Jared shakes his head and lays his arms out on the desk, “I didn’t know asses could move like that..”

Jared pauses quickly, “It was incredible.”

You cover your mouth and shake your head, “Oh my god.”

“And she’s also an amazing performer..” Jared continue, “I don’t know too much of her music, but..”

Zach tilts his head, looking at Jared, “How did it make you feel watching that thing, um-“ Jared cuts Zach off, “Fucking turned on, what are you talking about?”

Tara laughs, “oh my god.”

You lay your fingers over your lips and all you can do is laugh and shake your head.

“But also like.. amazing..” Jared says and you point, “Wait.. that’s so weird you called me after Ice Spice then.”

Everyone looks to Jared and he has a huge smirk on his face.

“Ooh, Jared. What were you doing?” Alyssa teases and you laugh, “And you’re like hey, are you home? What are you doing tonight, y/n?”

Jared continues to smile, getting slightly nervous, “Umm..” he laughs and you tilt your head, “isn’t it crazy that you did that?”

Jared waves his hands, “I’m.. gonna have to go no comment on that..and then..”

You all laugh and Tara mocks Jared, “He was like, I just watched Ice Spice, y/n what are you doing tonight?” She laughs, “oh my god.”

Zach chimes in, “If you guys did hook up in the dessert, would you speak about it?” You purse your lips and look over at Jared.

He shakes his head slowly and all you can do is giggle.

“I think, y/n would.” Alyssa says and you laugh more. Tara points, “Instead of where did Tara wake up this morning it would be guessing where y/n woke up.” She laughs harder and you shake your head, looking at Jared and he knows exactly what you want to say.

He fights back laughter, “Why are you lookin’ at me like that?”

You laugh, “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking like if we did hook up this past weekend, like would it really be that crazy?”

Instantly Tara leans in, “No.”

Alyssa follows, “I second that.”

“wh-what!?” Jared laughs, “What does that mean?”

“But on a serious note, what would it have taken for it to happen, though, Jared?” Zach asks and Jared smirks, shaking his head, “Not a lot.”

You laugh along with everyone else, until Tara grips your arm, “Wait! No fucking way!”

“Oh, I think she cracked the code.” Jared laughs and you nod, “Yep, give it a second.”

Tara looks between you and Jared and shakes her head, “No, fucking way.” Zach looks so confused, “Why is she tweaking out? Tara I told you, you can’t do that here anymore.”

Tara flicks off Zach, not even looking at him before taking off her headphones and waking away. You look at Jared, “I think we broke her.”

Alyssa gasps, “No! You didn’t!”

“There it is.” Jared laughs and Tara walks back over, “I remember you leaving now, Jared. You sneaky mother fucker.”

“What the- oh shit. Everybody. Jared finally lost his virginity. Let’s all give him a round of applause.” Zach claps and you laugh.

“I hate you sometimes.” Jared says to Zach as he laughs, shaking his head while his face grows redder.

——

I hope this didn’t suck. I haven’t been in the writing mood lately, but as usual, let me know what you thought.

Thank you for reading! Ilysm! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[hugshughes]

Patience is a Virtue C. Loveland

Colston Loveland x fem!Minter!reader

synopsis - Colston gets the trophy, and finally gets the girl.

wc - 3.8k

contains - UNEDITED! this is based off of this request! READER IS COACH MINTER(michigan defensive coordinator)'S DAUGHTER!!!!!!! kissing, hugging, fluff, cursing, stress over the game. guys if u don't like my cute outfit i picked then #1 ur a hater and #2 it's not a big deal! think of something else🤞🤞🤞 cause my Adidas navy handballs with gold accents ARE STAYING. there IS a picture of the outfit im describing but im obvi not gonna stick it in the middle of the fic so if anyone wants that i guess request or message me lols?

an - GUYS PLEASE LET THIS POST LETS PRAY TOGETHER. THIS WAS CUTE. i've been getting the BEST requests lately. i'm on my Michigan FOOTBALL grind. ive spent a long while introducing the jesse minter daughter reader.... she might have to stick around. i want to write for Blake Corum but don't know what to do because literally all i have written for the past week is like "girlfriend or friend of player reader comes to watch their playoff game, reader and love interest kiss after love interest wins game" so... DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVEEEE WRITING THAT SHIT. but it feels so repetitive. BUT THIS? I LOVED THIS. daughter of the coach is so scandalous and i love it. minter is only 40 so like we're just saying he had his daughter (reader) pretty young, like 21. hope u enjoyyyyyyyy ;)!

-

You woke up with a start. Your body jolted as you brain registered a shout somewhere in the room. You sucked in a breath, opening your eyes, only to close them again. You squinted, trying to orient yourself. You were in a hotel room, your brothers were the ones shouting.

You groaned at the realization, then let out a shout when you felt three small bodies land on top of you.

"Holy shit, get off of me!"

They immediately scrambled, most likely going to tell your mom you cursed in their presence. You loved your 3 baby siblings, but they were pains in your ass sometimes.

You heard a faint "she said shit mommy!" in the conjoining hotel room, and rolled your eyes. You sat in bed, stretching, grabbing your phone before grabbing your bag and locking yourself in the bathroom before your mom could scold you so your siblings shut up about it.

Today was the college football playoff championship, and it was safe to say your family members above the age of 8 were stressed. It was 8:11, and you had to be out the door by 9:50. You showered, drying your hair after and then starting to pick your outfit. You brought a lot of different gear, you had not clue what you wanted to wear to the game. You had so much Michigan gear, and even more maize and navy colored clothing, courtesy to your father.

After almost 30 minutes, you decided on a cute denim skirt, a maize long sleeve, and your navy Adidaas Handballs. You perfected your hair and makeup, successfully erasing any signs that you'd only been awake for about an hour.

You came out of the bathroom all put together, your bag and pajamas in hand. Your siblings were sitting on your bed, watching something on the TV. Since you guys had 6 people in your family, you'd gotten two hotel rooms with the connecting door in the middle. You slept in one room with your little sister on the other bed, and your parents and brothers slept in the other room. You walked through the connecting door, checking the time. 9:17.

Your mom was getting ready in the bathroom when you walked into it. You sat on the closed lid toilet and started talking to her about the plans for today.

"You really gotta stop cursing in front of the littles!"

Your mother scolded you, a grin wide on her face. She was joking, of course. You and your parents had always been close, you'd been their baby for the longest. You'd been with them since they were two just married 20 year olds in college. Not that you remembered it, but you were there for all of your dad's junior and senior year games when he played at MSJ. You'd been there through all the coaching jobs. From Cincinnati, to Georgia State, to the Baltimore Ravens, you'd been there through all of it.

You sat with your mom until it was time to go. Your dad corralled everyone together, taking a photo before you all headed to the elevator. When an elevator came, it opened up and there was barely any room unless your parents held two of your siblings, so you told them to go ahead and that you would wait for the next one.

You only waited about a minute before the doors slid open again, revealing none other than Colston Loveland. His eyes lit up, a grin shining on his beautiful face. You'd always had a weird little thing with Colston. No words were ever said about it, but there had always been a vibe between you.

Being the daughter of the defensive coordinator definitely drove a lot of the guys, even ones you had classes and other school related things with, far far away. The boys knew how protective their coach was of his family, and didn't want any bad blood on the team. Something about you just attracted Colston so heavily. He knew he shouldn't even think about it, but he never could help himself.

"Hey coach."

You rolled your eyes at him playfully as you stepped into the elevator. He always called you coach, he had to remind you he was one of your dad's players. You would've loved to forget that for two seconds.

"Hi Cole."

He could've died. You'd called him Cole, instead of Colston. It was the smallest, most insignificant little thing, but it made him melt.

"Where's your family at?"

You tilted your head towards him, he wanted to talk, okay. You smiled at him, he loved it.

"The other elevator was too full, some of the guys were on the way down too."

He nodded, the smirk never leaving his face. You thought about kissing it off of him, then realized you had just thought of kissing his smirk off of him. Shit. You were in deep with this kid, and there was little to no chance anything would ever happen.

The elevator reached the lobby, and Colston gestured for you to step out first. You exited the elevator, the boy hot on your tail. You were immediately greeted by a hallway packed full of Michigan players, coaches, families, and more.

You have Colston one last glance and smile before finding your mom, taking your baby brother out of her arms and into yours, playing with him. Colston's eyes followed you, he admired you as you smiled and laughed with your brother. You were perfect. He was gonna have to find a way to get around the fact that you were his coach's daughter.

You held your brother with one arm and your sisters hand with the other as you smiled at the cameras, walking through to the buses. Your family followed behind the rest of the coaches and families, the team trailing behind you.

The ride to NRG took longer than you assumed it would, almost an hour because of the traffic, and it didn't help that everyone could tell that the buses were transporting one of the CFP Championship teams in them.

Everyone went into the stadium together, through some backstage type area. You walked with the team until you had to go separate ways. You hugged your dad, squeezing him tight. You would see him again before the game, so you saved your 'Good luck, I love you Dad.' sentiment for then.

You'd always had a special connection with your dad, you were closer to him than almost anyone else. You were his baby, his first baby. Still, you were his baby in his eyes. Your dad would do anything for you, and he was quite protective. Though he was protective, all he wanted was for you to be happy, and if it meant dating one of his guys, he would have no problem with it.

Your family sat bored in the box of the stadium, looking down on the field as Washington practiced. There was over 6 more hours till the game started, and there was practically nothing to do.

You took a nap on the carpeted floor of the box with your siblings for a couple hours, your mother snapping photos that although you were embarrassed of, were undeniably cute. Once you guys had woken up, there was about 2 hours till game time. You voted with your family on whether you guys wanted to stay in the box, or sit way close to the field. You all wanted to be closer to the field, you wanted to see the action head on.

Your family departed the box, along with a few others to see the team one more time before the game. You got down onto the field in about 20 minutes, and stood with your dad for awhile. When you were being told it was time to go, you quickly hugged your dad.

"Good luck, I love you!"

He thanked you, saying the three words back as you guys waved at him, going to leave. Your eyes caught on a certain brunette as he ran off the field, his eyes finding you quickly. He smiled at you, ugh, that smile.

"Good luck, Cole!"

You smiled at him, right before you turned to go up the tunnel. More and more fans started to pour in as you got settled into your bleacher seats. You were three rows from the bottom with a perfect view of the field. You settled in as the national anthem ended and the game began.

As the game progressed, you were so happy to say that Michigan was winning, the entire time. You'd caught Colston's eyes multiple times during the game, letting it linger for a few seconds before giving him a stern look and gesturing towards the field. He'd mouth back, 'okay, coach.' and turn back around. Your mother caught the interaction once, her heart warming seeing her baby with a crush.

You stood up, your brother in your arms as you jumped up and down, shouting, Michigan had finally won! You cheered and danced around with your little siblings as you celebrated. You were all so insanely proud of your dad. Soon though, you were being escorted to the field, eager to see your father and congratulate him.

Blood was pumping and hearts were racing as you exited the tunnel, smiles burned onto your faces as you went to look for your dad. You held your sister's hand as you two ran around, trying to find him. Your mom shouted, and you turned to look at her. She pointed to your left, and there stood your dad, hugging one of his players. Your sister went back to your mom, to walk over to your dad with her as you all but sprinted over to your dad, weaving in between sweaty boys and families.

Your dad saw you incoming and held his arms out accepting your forceful hug. You both laughed, your dad squeezing you tightly. Your best friend had finally done it.

"Literally told you you would do it."

He laughed again, agreeing as he laid a kiss to your temple, pulling back with one arm to accept your other siblings into the hug, who'd finally made their way over. After a minute, you took your siblings from your dad so your mom could hug him, and kiss him, much to your brothers' disgust.

After talking with your dad for a little, you spotted a familiar 6'5 frame standing by himself as his teammates walked away from him. You sauntered over, shouting his name when you were in earshot. The brunette quickly turned around, the smile already gracing his face deepening.

"Well hi, coach."

"Congratulations, Cole. You know your catches were pretty legit."

You gave him a slightly impressed face, shrugging your shoulders. He laughed, rolling his eyes playfully.

"You can't win 'em all over, can you?"

You laughed in turn, stepping closer to him. Colston's heart was racing as he looked down into your eyes.

"But really, Cole, you were incredible, serious."

He nodded, accepting your praise with a grin, before he looked around, over-exaggerating a look of being in thought.

"You know, coach, I think I might just deserve a reward, for my quote incredible performance."

Your eyes widened, your heart starting off, faster and faster.

"Really? What might that entail, Cole?"

Shit, he was gonna have to kiss you if you kept calling him that. He was about to take the leap. He knew he had to at some point, and he was on an adrenaline rush, that just chanted at him to do it.

"Well I think it entails you accepting a date with me back in Michigan."

Your jaw dropped slightly, you were dumbfounded. Colston really wanted to go on a date with you?

"For real?"

Colston nodded, seemingly confident, though he was shaking in his boots on the inside.

"Well then, I think we can make that work."

Colston's heart erupted. He literally could not have been happier. He'd just won the Natty, and got his dream girl to agree to a date, holy fuck. You got nervous all of the sudden, leaning up to kiss his cheek, before turning to leave.

"Just text me, Cole!"

He nodded, his eyes following you as you went to go find your family again. His family came back over to him, they'd been gone for just a second but stopped and waited when they saw him talking to you. His family, especially his mom, knew quite a bit about you.

You found your family, immediately grabbing your moms hand to pull her a few steps away. You looked at her with the biggest eyes ever, still in shock over what had just happened.

"What's up, sweetheart? Why are you all, thousand yard stare-y?"

"Mom Colston just asked me out, and I said yes! And then I kissed his cheek! And then I left!"

Your mom laughed, her baby was finally growing up. You'd had a few boyfriends in all your days, but you'd never been proper crushing like you were right now.

"That's so good! I knew this was coming, we just had to wait for one of you to get the courage."

You blushed, hiding your face in your hands. Your smile suddenly dropped, a realization coming to you.

"Is dad gonna hate me?"

"Why would I hate you?"

Shit.

You ended up telling your dad later on in the night, when you were tired and sitting in the back of a restaurant the team was celebrating in. Your family didn't party for too long, having a 4, 7, and 8 year old didn't exactly allow you guys to stay out for too long. Even your parents 19 year old daughter got a bit cranky if she stayed out too late.

When you told your dad, he just laughed. He knew you and Colston had things for each other, he was waiting for the tight end to make a move.

-

You were stressing. Tonight was your date with Colston. You sat at your vanity, ranting to your roommate over it. You put on makeup and did your hair, wanting to look cute but not over the top.

Colston had told you to wear comfy clothes, so you were in one of your most common outfits. Leggings and a Michigan sweatshirt. You stared at yourself in the mirror, doubting yourself. You had known Colston for over a year, almost two, but you didn't really know him that well. You wanted him to like you so badly.

"Babe, you look fantastic. He's going to stare at you all night."

You sighed at your roommate's encouragement. But before you could respond, you got a text from Colston. He was outside your dorm building. Your roommate pushed you straight out the door, saying bye.

You went down the stairs quickly, making your way out of the complex. You saw Colston as you opened the door, slipping out. He looked up and smiled at you, his stupid beautiful smile.

"Hey, Gorgeous."

You felt the heat on your face even in the Ann Arbor cold. You smiled, shaking your head as you gave him a spin, showing off your extra casual outfit.

"Even in this ensemble?"

He nodded, his smile deepening. He pulled you into his side, hugging you. You were immediately enveloped in his warmth. You ducked your head down to hide the shock in your eyes. He smelled really good.

When you pulled away Colston led you to his car, opening the door for you before going around and getting in. You two buckled up before Colston pulled out of the parking spot, setting off into Ann Arbor. He gave you the aux, warming your heart. You both knew he probably didn't listen to the same music as you, but he wanted you to listen to whatever you liked.

Smaller Acts by Zach Bryan came on when you hit shuffle on your main playlist, making you smile. You resonated with the song, always having thought that smaller acts of love were more important than any grand gestures. You got to really look at Colston while he drove. He kept his eyes right on the road always, until you got to a red light, that's when you'd jerk your head back forward as he turned to look at you. He was really pretty, his jaw was so insanely defined, he had a strong neck, and the deepest brown eyes. You stared at the tattoo on his left forearm, he was hot, to put it simply.

You drove for around 40 minutes before the car slowed, pulling onto a gravel driveway. You looked out of your window, seeing a large screen and projector, and lots of cars. He had brought you to a drive in movie. You could've cried when you saw the sign reading the movie you would be seeing. Ocean's 11. The very first time you ever talked to Colston, he'd asked you your favorite movie. You said you couldn't pick one, then settled on Ocean's 11 because it was one you'd seen so many times you could quote any scene.

You couldn't believe he remembered. You'd never mentioned it since then. That was the kind of smaller, seemingly insignificant thing that meant the world to you. You jerked your head to the left, staring at Colston with wide eyes. He was dealing with the tickets for a few seconds before you pulled into a spot, then he finally looked to you.

"Cole, I cannot believe that you remembered."

Colston smiled, and on the inside he was celebrating that you loved it. What he hadn't expected though was you leaning over the console and hugging him. It was honestly the sweetest thing any guy had ever done for you, you were beyond grateful for this boy, and it was your first date.

"This is the sweetest thing a guy's ever done for me, I'm being serious."

Though you were mostly saying that about the fact that he'd remembered, the date itself was also amazing. Colston knew you enough to know that you'd have preferred this over any fancy restaurant, and that meant a lot.

"It's the least I could do, coach. You mean something to me, 'm gonna take care of you."

You just squirmed in your seat, getting more comfortable and smiling as you looked ahead of you. You wordlessly reached over and slipped your hand into his, pulling them into your lap.

Colston was so happy he could've gotten out of the car and started dancing. He acted as cool as he could on the outside. You two settled in as the movie began.

At some point, Colston had reached back into the backseat and grabbed a blanket that he tossed into your lap, and a bag of food and snacks.

You traced your free hand over Colston's tattoo, admiring the line work and shading. The movie ended, and Colston's hand stayed with you as you two began the drive back. You fell asleep on the drive, your head leaning against Colston's arm.

You woke up slowly about 5 minutes out from school. You kept your head on Colston's arm, but allowed yourself to carelessly stare at him in your tired state. At a stoplight, he turned to look at you, smiling deeply when his eyes met your sleepy ones.

"Hey, coach. Nap good?"

You smiled and nodded, yawning at him. He laughed lowly, turning his head back when the light went green. You parked outside your building, dampening your heart. The night had been perfect. You sleepily got out of Colston's car, after he told you to not dare opening your own door. He walked you up to the entrance with his hand on your back, rubbing his fingers back and forth lightly.

When you got to the door you stopped and turned around, wrapping your arms around his middle.

"Thank you so much Colston. This was like, the best date I think ever."

He smiled, hugging you tightly. Colston had the best time, obviously you were gorgeous, but getting to talk to you one-on-one without interruptions was his idea of a good time. His insides melted whenever you fell asleep, and before then, he could've swore he was in love while you traced over his tattoo.

You pulled away from him, looking at the boy through heavy eyes. He looked absolutely handsome in the dim lighting of a street lamp. You put your hands on his shoulders, leaning up and kissing him. You probably wouldn't have if your drowzy mind hadn't commanded you to. Obviously you wanted to, but you weren't sure if it was 100% mutual yet, but it was.

Colston's hands went to hold the back of your head, his hands in your hair. He kept the kiss shorter than you would've liked, knowing you were tired.

You looked up at him with stars in your eyes, a smiling fighting its way onto you face. Colston's hands shifted from your hair to your jaw, rubbing his thumb over your cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow baby."

Your blown out eyes widened at the name, your heart clenching in your chest. Colston saw the reaction, his lips quirking up the slightest bit.

"I'll see you, Loveland."

You let go of him, turning towards the door. You paused for a second, quickly turning back around and kissing Colston again. Colston's hands grabbed at your hips, pulling you closer. Colston smiled brightly into the kiss, giggling to himself.

You pulled away from him, a grin falling to your face.

"You ever gonna let me leave, coach?"

"Thinkin' about it."

"You get inside, gorgeous. It's too cold for you to be out here."

You smiled, nodding at him, letting go of him for the last time.

"You gotta go too, off season just started. You gotta stay on your A-Game Loveland."

He laughed at you, shaking his head as he watched you walk into the dorm complex, turning the corner and out of his sight. You ran back up the stairs and to your room, squealing like a 13 year old as you described your date to your roommate.

Colston sat in his car, texting his mom that everything went well. When he put his phone away, he finally let himself think that you were the girl he'd want to be with forever. It was finally real. The boy just had to be patient.

[rengokuology]

I would love to see a lexi x fem reader from euphoria, maybe reader is like nates younger sister but she is the sweetest and kindest person, so lexi and reader both have a crush on each other and so maybe cassie and maddie try to get them to admit their feelings and somehow they do, so it's pure fluff with lexi and reader sharing a kiss at the end, something like that, and then them being in a romantic relationship

PLAY PRODUCTIONS. . .

LEXI HOWARD x NATE’S SISTER! READER

WARNINGS !! nate jacobs, lots of sweet—tooth fluff! so yeah—

DEAR REQUESTER, thank you so much for being my first ever requester! this is my first time writing x reader so i hope you like it! if you don’t like it, you can send back in another request and i can write another one for you! enjoy your time reading!! <3 /p

it's funny, you know? how such an asshole like nate jacobs can be related to such a sweet angel like (reader) jacobs.

i mean, that's what mostly anybody sane thought. people like lexi, rue and more.

but there were also douchebags who would try and say she was like him. but she was never.

nate jacobs never helped his friends to classes. never tried to be as respectful as possible. nope, that was all her.

that's what lexi thought every time she saw her with nate, and it would be common that she held an intense glare at him for being such an ass.

but that would go away when she always approached lexi, always being happy to see her friend / crush by their lockers that were across from cassie and maddy's.

you two had such a beautiful chemistry that maddy and nate were never going to have and so, maddy and cassie noticed.

"oh my god, they're fucking whipped for each other." maddy claimed, looking at the two of them that were laughing while they shared each other memes they found the night before.

"yeah, they are." cassie smiled at them, slightly jealous that she didn't have a relationship like that. but she was proud of her sister for having something she didn't. a healthy crush.

maddy turned to cassie, closing her locker as she pointed at the two.

"if we don't get them together, somebody's gonna steal one of them. and they probably need to be together." cassie lifted a brow at maddy, glancing at the two before turning back to maddy.

"i don't know. they can get together by themselves, plus, we shouldn't intrude on their love lives." cassie told maddy, as maddy crossed her arms, lightly laughing sarcastically.

"well, last night, i saw little angel with one of nate's friends at their house. we don't want that because that dude is lowkey a dick and doesn't deserve someone like (reader). plus, we wouldn’t be really do much, just give them a little push." maddy told cassie, grabbing out her phone and showing the guy she's been seeing.

cassie looked at the photo before looking back at the two then back at maddy.

"ok, let's do it."

lexi and (reader) sat at their desks in history class as (reader) lightly scrolled through her phone in secret while glancing at the teacher.

hey

(reader) smiled, looking across the room to lexi's chair as lexi smiled at her phone, glancing at their teacher as well.

hi!

we still hanging out at my place tonight?

sorry, i can't tonight. aaron just told me my parents got into a fight so i gotta help my mom

sorry about that

its fine, it happens

still tho, ur parents are kinda dicks

yeah, kinda but their still my parents, so yeah

(reader) frowned at her phone, thinking of what words to type next.

sorry i can't spend the night at your place again

its ok! your busy, i get it

still sucks tho-

yeah

(reader) put her phone away, slipping it into their hoodie pocket as lexi shut off her phone as well, kind of frowning as cassie looked at the two, finally finding something cassie and maddy could do to get them together.

next class, maddy and (reader) sat next to each other in science class, (reader) zoning out through half of it, bored.

(reader) felt a buzz in her pocket, taking it out slowly to see a text from maddy.

hey

(reader) glanced at maddy confused, as the two didn't really interact and would only contact each other if there was an emergency.

hi, u ok?

yeah, u going to lexi's tonight

nah and how do u know about that

cassie but who cares about that rn, why aren't u going

my parents got into a fight, gonna take care of my mom and make sure she doesn’t get wine drunk

who cares?

i do. it’s my mom, i need to take care of her

but do u want to?

. . .

how about u come over to their home and relax a bit, cassie says she misses you and plus, i’m gonna there, i’ll make up an excuse for u

she does?

yep

i guess i’ll go then

cool, see u later then

yep

(reader) smiled lightly, closing maddy’s contact and opening lexi’s

i’m actually coming over tonight

cool! see u

yep!

lexi’s mood lifted, putting her phone away as she was happy that she got to spend time with her and finally!

the two weren’t able to spend time after school because of her parents getting into fights constantly for the past month, which sucked because that was the time where they were able to spend most of their time together.

but because maddy persuaded her, she was finally able to go now that she had an excuse. which made the two lovebirds happy.

so. . . maddy wasn’t there, same with cassie. they both lied.

but the two teenagers could care less as (reader) sat at the edge of lexi’s bed in silence, playing truth or dare.

“truth or dare.” “truth.”

“is it true that jules and rue are dating?” (reader) questioned lexi, resting her head on top of her knees, rocking back and forth, bored as a movie played in the background.

“i. . . actually don’t know.” “yeah? hm.”

“they definitely have some type of. . . tension though.” (reader) said, throwing her head back to the bed post as lexi nodded, agreeing with her as she typed on her computer.

“what are you writing anyway? just asking.” (reader) asked, picking at her painted finger nails.

“i’m trying to write a play.” “ooooo! what’s it about?” (reader) questioned, her interest being picked up as she raised her head.

“about our lives, my life, just what happens in this high school.” lexi explained, smiling at (reader)‘s sudden interested and smile.

“can i take a look? just for a second?” lexi nodded at her as she scooted herself closer to lexi, looking at her computer as lexi lightly scrolled through the plot she had.

the plot described the people, ranging from jade, hallie, marta, luna and angela. the plot focused one part on angela, the main character telling the audience that she liked angela, having a deep crush on her despite not confessing to not ruin the friendship she loved.

considering the play was about the lives in their high school, she assumed the main character was lexi as (reader) let out a ‘oooo’ in interest.

“who’s the lucky girl then?” (reader) turned to lexi, interested. lexi looked at her, hesitation rising in her as (reader) waited for a response.

“um. . . it’s you, (reader).” lexi confessed, staring at her with a slight blush on her cheeks while (reader) was frozen in place. not because she was mad but because she was shocked that her crush liked her back too.

“w—wait, really?” (reader) questioned, trying to make sure that she heard lexi correctly.

“yeah, i’ve liked you for a while now.” (reader) suddenly let a smile come onto her face, smiling the hardest to the point her cheeks hurt from the pressure.

“can i kiss you?. . . if your ok with it?” (reader) asked lexi as she nodded, moving closer to lexi, kissing her lightly on the lips.

the two separated from the kiss, lexi still having that blush on her cheeks as (reader) smiled at her, now holding her hand.

“this might be a dumb question because we probably are but can i be your girlfriend? if your comfortable with it, i don’t wanna—“

“i’d love that.” lexi interrupted her question as she smiled, clapping her fingers a little, happy.

“thank you.” (reader) thanked as lexi nodded, holding her hand still.

“can i help you with your play?” (reader) asked lexi as she nodded again, (reader) now laying on lexi’s side as she typed on her computer.

and for the rest of the night, they spent their time writing the play during their first night as girlfriends.

————

AUTHORS NOTE, sorry if this kinda sucked! i’m still getting used to writing x reader since i mainly write x oc on wattpad a lot so yeah, sorry if this wasn’t good, i hope you enjoyed tho and have a good day!

[marblemoonstones]

cravings 🥞

main masterlist

summary: you and jungkook are just best friends, but that doesn’t stop you from yearning for more.

warnings: f reader, curse words, fluffy!!, not edited well

word count: ~4.2k

a/n: trying to get back into writing, but tbh this is kinda rushed and i’m so sorry for that 😭 jin’s return is so so soon, and ik it’s not a jin one shot, but enjoy this mediocre warm up.

*does mention sweeney todd musical, no spoilers but some characters mentioned*

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

jungkookie: 🍪: did u get my text

you: ...maybe

jungkookie 🍪: so?

You sigh, mentally debating whether or not you want to go. Tomorrow night is your school's theatre performance that you and Jungkook are going to see together. As much as you were looking forward to it, Jungkook had asked to go out to eat afterwards. which meant that you two would probably end up going with a bunch of others (due to Jungkook's popularity) leading you to do two things that you absolutely hated: staying up late and having to socialize with other people. But, on the other hand, you didn't want to disappoint Jungkook. You know that if you don’t go he wouldn't either, and would end up taking you home instead. While he acted as though he didn’t mind, you knew that he likes to hang out with his friends. And, since he is always with you, you feel guilty if he doesn’t get to hang out with others. So, you decide to suck it up and go, only for Jungkook's sake.

you: okay i'll go out after 

jungkookie 🍪: yay ur the best!!

Seeing Jungkook's enthusiastic response made you sigh. Why did you have to have a crush on your best friend? Those hopeful eyes and gorgeous smile have always made you wistful, hoping that maybe, someday, you could tell him the truth. But, alas, you're stuck with admiring him in your heart.

you: yeah yeah whatever

you: see you tomorrow @6 

jungkookie 🍪: see u tomorrow!

Well, it is what it is. At least you get to spend more time with Jungkook. Sighing, you turn off your phone and resort to your favorite pastime: binge-watching youtube kpop compilations. You know there are a million other things you could be doing (homework being one of them) but who doesn't love to watch a bunch of (hot) idiots goof around? 

~

The next day, school goes by in a blur of the usual 'pretending to pay attention but actually talking to friends’ ritual. 

Your to do list grows but you manage to ignore it. That's a later problem.

The first problem right now is picking an outfit for the performance tonight. Your closet looks like it threw up on your bed, and it’s definitely going to be a pain in the ass to pick up all these clothes. At this point all you want to do is curl up with a book and forget about going at all.

Your mom pokes her head in and says "Going somewhere special tonight?"

"No," you respond, starfished on the bed, hardly visible with the piles of clothes. “Just the school musical." 

"Oh right, well, enjoy that honey. Are you going out afterwards?" Your mom asks. 

"Yes," you groan, throwing a hand over your face. 

"Okay...well have fun. You’re only a teenager once!" With that, your mom leaves you to your fashion dilemma. 

Eventually you settle on a cute sweater with your favorite pair of jeans. Casual but also dressed up just enough to hopefully impress Jungkook.

After a quick snack (eating afterwards will definitely be a big affair, so no dinner) you head out after getting a text from Jungkook.

jungkookie 🍪: i’m here hurry up 

you: i'm coming. learn to have some patience 

jungkookie 🍪: just get your ass out here 

"Bye mom!" you shout, grabbing your purse and dashing out the door.

"Bye sweetie! Have fun!" 

You get into Jungkook's passenger seat and shut the door.

"You need to learn to wait five seconds," you say, shoving him.

"But what's the fun in that?" Grinning, he pulls out of the driveway. 

You two jam out to the radio on the way to the theatre, you stealing glances at his side profile. His button nose and full lips paint the perfect portrait. How can someone be so heavenly? 

Pulling into a spot, Jungkook asks you, "So what exactly is this musical about?" 

"Jungkook!" you scold, "I told you to look up a synopsis before coming to watch!" 

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't have time. I assume that it's about a man named Sweeney Todd?" (a/n: sweeney todd is underestimated)

You roll your eyes at Jungkook, then grab his arm.

"Let's just go. I hope they have a summary in the program." 

After showing your tickets you two grab a program and go find your seats. You had forced Jungkook to get decently close seats, much to his complaints. 

"But y/nnnn I don't want to be that close to the pit...my ears will literally die!" 

"Suck it up, buttercup. I want to be able to see it up close, you know I love live theatre." 

Jungkook pouts, but secretly loves how much you adore musicals.

"Okay, right here! Row C." You and Jungkook go to the middle and get settled.

"You know I'm only here for you, right?" Jungkook asks, flipping through his program. 

Your heart stutters.

"What about supporting Jimin?" You ask, trying to ignore the question. The theatre nerd is one of Jungkook's close friends, and in the ensemble. 

“Jimin doesn't care whether or not I’m here," Jungkook says, finding the blonde's photo in the program, "Besides, he gets enough attention from all the girls anyways." 

"Ha ha very funny. Did you find the summary?" you ask, reaching over to flip to the front area of the program and pointing to it. "Read. Now."

"Okay, okay, I'll read it." Jungkook starts reading it while acting overly shocked. “Wow…it takes place in London. Does that mean they have to fake a British accent?”

You sneakily snap a photo of him looking like an idiot and add it to your album 'kookie 🐰.' 

After Jungkook finishes reading it, he turns to you.

"Okay, y/n, I read the summary. Happy?" 

You nod. "Yes. Now I hope you can kinda understand what's happening." 

As soon as you finish saying that the lights dim halfway, and you know that it's going to start soon. 

"Did you take a picture of me?" Jungkook whispers as the orchestra starts warming up.

You feel your cheeks warm. Hopefully he can't see it in the dim lighting. 

"No?" you whisper, and it comes out as a question. 

"Why would you take a photo-" 

Before Jungkook can finish his question the music starts and you're thankful you don't have to answer him. 

"Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...his skin was pale and his eye was odd...he shaved the faces of gentlemen who never thereafter were heard of again..."

~

A Little Priest finishes and the lights come up for intermission. 

"So, Jungkook, what did you think?" You gush, wanting to discuss all the details and songs.

"I think that Pirelli was a real dickhead, that's what," Jungkook says passionately.

"Shhh! Don't say that so loud. Yes, he was a dick, but he's not a problem anymore!" You look around subtly, hoping that no one heard Jungkook.

"Yeah yeah. I think that Lovett is pretty smart, but she's too infatuated with Sweeney. Like, girl needs to calm down a little."

If only he knew how much you were infatuated with him; you'd put Lovett to shame.

"Yeah...I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back." You hurry out, suddenly sweating, and leaving a confused Jungkook behind.

In the bathroom you shut yourself in a stall to attempt to calm yourself down. Your beating heart does little to help, and you want so badly to tell Jungkook the truth. But you know that he probably doesn't feel the same way. I mean, why would he? He deserves to be with someone as amazing and perfect as him. You have your qualities, but they don’t compare to Jungkook’s. 

Steeling yourself you open the stall to go wash your hands and check yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks aren't tinted as much and after a quick fix of your hair you look normal. 

Taking a deep breath, you walk back to your seat. 

"Sorry, I just really had to go to the bathroom," you sheepishly say to Jungkook, who's looking at you strangely. 

"Mhm...okay. Anyways, what was your favorite song so far?" is the suspicious response. 

You don't think that Jungkook really believes your excuse, but he diverts the subject so you go along with it. 

~

After talking for the rest of intermission, act two starts. You take your focus off of Jungkook and enjoy the rest of the show.

Amidst the chaos with the lunatics, you leans over to whisper, "Jimin makes a really good crazy person."

Jungkook stifles his laugh, but it's true. Jimin makes the most demented face and has you questioning whether or not he's actually insane.

~

At the end of the show you and Jungkook give the performers a standing ovation. 

"Woo!" You cheer, seeing the cast grin at each other.

When the house lights come up Jungkook drags you over to say hi to Jimin.

"Hey, great job! Y/n over here thought that your facial expressions were really funny." Jungkook elbows you playfully. 

You just awkwardly smile, as you only know Jimin through Jungkook.

"Well thank you, y/n. I try," Jimin responds, dramatically giving a bow.

You laugh a bit at that, making Jungkook grin.

"Hey, so y/n and I are going to go out to eat and I was wondering if you wanted to join us." There it goes. You knew Jungkook would want to hang out with other people, as he always does.

Little do you know that it's only because Jungkook is too nervous to be with you by himself.

"Sure, just let me put my mic away, change, and take this makeup off of me so I don't look like a clown," Jimin jokes. 

"You already look like one normally," Jungkook snarks, earning a shove and a "Shut the fuck up," from Jimin. 

"Well y/n and I will go get a table because we don't want to wait for your ass," Jungkook says, starting to leave. 

You wave at Jimin and he just winks, gesturing for you to follow Jungkook.

Jungkook pulls out of the parking lot. You turn on the music again, partly because you hate a silent car but mostly because you want to listen to Jungkook's angelic voice.

You then realize you don't even know where you're going to eat.

"Wait Jungkook where are we going?" you ask, but figure it out halfway through your question.

"Ihop of course! I know you crave late night breakfast," is the peppy reply. 

You are so lucky to have someone who knows you so well, but you don't want to force him to go there just because of your cravings. This always happens.

"Oh, well don't feel obligated to go there! We always go there because of me. Why don't we go somewhere for you this time?" you ask, trying to convince Jungkook.

He just stubbornly shakes his head and says "No, it's okay. I know how your cravings get, and I'm always in the mood for pancakes! Besides, I already told Jimin that's where we are going." 

You protest, but his stubbornness keeps you from arguing for long. He always wins.

Eventually you pull into the parking lot and hop out.

"So Jungkook...is it only us and Jimin?" you ask as said man checks his phone. Maybe you won't have to deal with a ton of people?

"No, sorry y/n. I know how you don't like a lot of people. Jimin invited some of the theatre people like Jin, Hoseok, and Taehyung. And then they invited their friends, so Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jackson are all coming," Jungkook finishes, giving you a sympathetic look. (a/n, it’s always jackson, isn’t it?)

Ugh. Why did you have to have such a thoughtful best friend? 

"It's fine, Jungkook. Don't worry about it," you say, genuinely meaning it. Giving Jungkook a smile, you hope to ease his worries.

It works, as he grins back and gestures for you to follow him. 

Stepping inside Jungkook gets a table and then you both follow the waitress.

"Table for nine, right here. Would you like to wait for everyone to arrive before you order?" Asks the waitress.

"Yes, please," Jungkook replies.

You thank your waitress and then sit down on the end. Jungkook sits beside you.

"How long do you think it'll take for them to get here?" You ask, checking the time and seeing that it's 10:07. On a regular night you’ be curled up in bed either reading or binge watching a show.

"Soon. And if they don't then we'll just order without them," Jungkook says cheekily. 

Approximately ten minutes later the doors to Ihop burst open and you see the cluster of boys. 

"Well, I guess they're here," you murmer, feeling a little out of place as the only girl. 

"Yeah...hey if you ever feel like it's too much, just text me or let me know because I'll do my best to help you," Jungkook says at the pack comes over to sit down. 

"Hey Kook, how you doing?" A makeup-free Jimin asks, sitting next to him. Taehyung sits across from you and waves, a boxy grin on his face.

You wave shyly back. 

"Good, took you guys a long time to get here, though," Jungkook complains, shoving Jimin lightly. 

"Whatever. You're the one who didn't want us here in our makeup, so deal with the consequences." As Jimin finishes this sentence the waitress comes back over.

"Ready to order drinks?" She asks, notepad and pen at the ready.

"Sure," Jungkook says, then orders a soda. 

Going around the table you're last, and mostly everyone else orders a drink with some kind of caffeine. Will you be lame if you get a water? You don't want to keep yourself up all night. 

"And you miss?" She asks.

"I'll have a water please," you say quietly, causing her to nod.

"Okay, I'll get those out for you!" She bustles back to the kitchen and everyone proceeds to continue talking and laughing in their loud banters. 

You already know what you're ordering, so you place the menu down and look at the odd crew that you're with. 

Across from you Taehyung and Yoongi talk loudly, with Taehyung doing most of the talking. Yoongi just sits, an image of bored, but you can tell from his endeared stare and small upturn of his lips that he's enjoys listening to Taehyung. 

Next to Yoongi sits Namjoon, Jin, and Jackson. They're typically a quieter trio, and they chat amongst themselves calmly...ish (compared to the next group). 

Across from Jackson sits Hoseok, then Jimin, Jungkook, and you. 

Hoseok is talking animatedly with Jimin, using his arms to gesture and you almost laugh when Jimin just barely dodges his arm. 

"So y/n, what are you going to order?" Jungkook asks, drawing your attention away from Hoseok.

"French toast," you say, shrugging, "What about you?" 

Jungkook ignores your question and hums in response, "Oh, it's a french toast night. Are you feeling okay? You only order french toast when you aren't that hungry and can have leftovers later." 

How does Jungkook always know? You aren't hungry despite not having dinner. Sometimes these spells happen where you don’t eat much, and somehow Jungkook always can sense when they are.

You see Jimin lean out behind Jungkook and dart his eyes to Jungkook and back to you, eyebrows raised suggestivly. 

What's that supposed to mean?

Diverting your eyes away from Jimin, you're about to respond but the waitress comes back with the drinks.

Thanking her, you quickly rip the straw wrapping off and promptly shove it in the water, taking a sip to avoid answering the question. 

But Jungkook won't let you off the hook so easily.

"Y/n, answer the question. Or, at least answer this: did you eat dinner? If not, then you should really eat more than one piece of french toast," Jungkook says loudly, ignores the poor waitress who's trying to get his order. 

"Jungkook, order. She's waiting." You gesture to the waitress, and Jungkook quickly orders his combo meal before turning back to you. 

"And for you miss?" The waitress looks concerned as Jungkook gives you an angry look. 

"I'll have the classic french toast, please," you say meekly, feeling Jungkook's glare at you.

The waitress nods before quickly scurrying off, clearly aware of the sudden tension at the table.

"Y/n, you know I only ask because I care about you," Jungkook says, still being louder than you like. 

"I know, Kook," you say, your voice much quieter. Does he understand that he's being too loud? Some people from the tables around you are staring. 

Jungkook takes a look at your face and realizes his mistake and he goes to apologize. 

"Y/n, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I shouldn't have been so loud and-" 

The talking around you suddenly feels louder and it’s all too much. You're feeling anxiety because of the situation, guilt because Jungkook always has to apologize even when it's not needed, and sadness because you wish you could stop being so annoying with these types of outings.

"It's okay," you manage to say, stopping Jungkook's rambling, "I'm okay. I think that I'll just go home now." This is what happens when you go out. What you wouldn’t give to be tucked under your covers with your moonbeam reading light on. 

"Can you cancel my order?" You ask Jungkook, seeing him protest. 

"Y/n-"

"No, it's fine Jungkook. Really. Stay and enjoy," you manage to get out. Seeing him so sad makes your heart clench but it's for the better. 

You get up from your chair and leave, Jungkook's stare burning into your back.

Half of you hopes that he follows you, but the other half doesn't want that to happen. 

Your stomach aches (Probably from hunger, or nerves. Or both.) and you are yet again thinking that this is another example of why you don’t deserve Jungkook. He’s just too kind. Honestly, doesn’t he ever get tired of taking care of you? As much as you wish you could pull away from him, he still draws you in like a magnet. Curse his amazing personality.

You are afraid of what will happen in the future. Will these feelings go away? Will they go away if you suppress them? Will Jungkook laugh at you if you tell him? Of course he'll laugh. There's no way he feels the same way. Who would ever like you?

All these questions bombard your brain as you lean against the wall. 

You know that you need to text your mom to come pick you up (Jungkook was your ride home) but for now you focus on calming your self-depricating thoughts and suppressing your feelings.

Someone touches your shoulder and you almost jump out of your skin.

"Woah! Sorry, it's just me y/n." There stands Jungkook, looking perfect as always even in the horrible fluorescent lighting. Great.

"Oh, hey Jungkook," you say, "Why are you out here? I told you I'm fine." You should’ve known that it was impossible to trick Jungkook into thinking you’re okay.

"You're clearly not fine. Can you tell me what's wrong? First it's rushing off to the bathroom and now rushing out of here. You've been acting weird all night. So, what's up?" Jungkook crosses his arms and leans against the wall next to you, clearly not planning on leaving until he gets the answer out of you.

Fuck. 

"But Jungkook-"

"No, y/n. Just tell me. Please." Jungkook is so desperate to know and it seems as though he's begging for answers for more than just tonight.

How can you tell him? 

Memories flash before your eyes of you and Jungkook.

~

Middle school, where you both were the most awkward people, still developing their personalities while adjusting to hormones. But after being partnered up for a project you two became friends. 

Walking across the stage for middle school promotion, you in that floral sundress that makes Jungkook go crazy and him in a polka-dotted bow tie.

Starting high school together, your friendship still going strong. Clutching your backpacks as you take the next step into adulthood, all while still being a teenager. 

Going to homecoming and prom together as 'friends' only, despite the looks. His tie always matches your dress, causing you to pretend that he’s yours, if only for one night.

Jungkook being there for you as you cry because of school stress. 

"I-I just can't do it anymore. There's too much. I'll never be able to catch up and then there's always more piling on and it never ends! Why does it never end?!"  

He just wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, his warmth and silence being the best remedy as you sob your heart out, while wrapped in your worn pink blanket that he bought for you.

You being there for him at all his various sporting events. Cross country meets, basketball, swimming. Whenever there was a home meet, you were there, sitting in the bleachers cheering him on. 

During the hot cross country meets, you were the one to give Jungkook a water bottle at the end.

During the basketball games you'd be in the students section with some friends, dressed in whatever the theme was that night. You would always cheer the loudest when Jungkook would score (which was quite a lot, considering how good he was). 

During swim meets you'd be on the bleachers. Even though there were many other attractive shirtless boys, you only ever looked at Jungkook (and his fine muscles...who knew he was hiding abs under his baggy sweatshirts?). 

~ 

Staring up at him now makes you realize that even if he doesn't feel the same, it's Jungkook. He wouldn't just destroy your friendship if he didn't like you back. Jungkook would let you down slowly and still keep your friendship. 

"Okay Kook. I'll tell you." Inhaling a big breath you clench your fists and spit it out.

"I like you."

Silence. 

You avoid his eyes, choosing to look at the concrete. You ask yourself why you thought this was a good idea. Surely he thinks you're stupid. God, why are you such a fool-

"Oh."

A note of, hopefulness? Is that really what you hear? Confused you look up to Jungkook...smiling? 

"Why do you have that gleam in your eye?" You ask, still scared but now also suspicious.

Jungkook just takes a step closer, still wearing that stupid goofy grin with a hint of something else.

"Because." Is his helpful response to your question.

Before you say another word Jungkook closes the gap between you two, pressing his lips softly against yours. 

It's better than what you ever imagined and sweeter than anything you've tasted. His lips are like sugary clouds of cotton candy, and you want to taste them forever. If this was a rom-com, the peak of the movie would be this moment right here.

Suddenly the dim lighting and ugly parking lot seems romantic, blossoming with love.

Jungkook pulls away, clearly enjoying the befuddled look on your face.

"W-what?" You ask, semi-breathless, still reeling from what just happened. 

Jungkook just laughs quietly. 

"Isn't it obvious? I like you too y/n," he says, grabbing your hands.

Were you in a rom-com, or did your best friend just confess to you?

"Wait, hold on. You do?" 

Apparently your skepticalness is funny to Jungkook because he just laughs again. 

"Yes, y/n. I just kissed you, doesn't that show my feelings for you?" Jungkook asks, pulling you close. 

You can feel the comforting warmth of Jungkook and ask yourself again if this was real life.

"And, if that doesn't show them, then should I kiss you again?" 

Jungkook is sneaky, that little devil. 

Before you can answer, he leans down to press a kiss to your left cheek. Then your right. And next is your nose.

"Jungkook! Stop!" You giggle, trying to push him away. 

"No! Not until you know I like you!" Jungkook is stubborn, and under the onslaught of kisses you can only be strong for so long.

"Okay okay! I believe you!" You’re must sinking into Jungkook’s hold more.

"Good." He stops kissing you after one more on the top of your head.

You bask in his arms around you for a minute. 

Then, you furrow your brows as another question pops into your head.

"Wait, Jungkook...now what?" You ask the question innocently, making Jungkook laugh once again at all the options he has.

"Now I take you on a proper date, give you hugs and kisses all the time, always be with you, hold your hand constantly-"

"What?" You interrupt, eyes wide at all the things Jungkook is listing. 

"That's right. Now that you're mine, I can do all this and more!" Jungkook cheers, all while hoping he isn't coming on too strong.

"Oh...that sounds kinda nice," you admit shyly, your heart pounding again at the thought of being able to love Jungkook freely.

"I'm glad. Now, let's go finish our first date?" Jungkook gestures to the Ihop building. 

"Okay." 

Bashfully you reach out your hand and Jungkook takes it happily. 

a/n: why do i kinda hate this now 😭 i hope the mc didn’t come off as victimizing herself, she’s just insecure. please remember you’re beautiful and strong, and deserve all the love in the world! 🩷🫶🏼

please request if you have one! i often run out of ideas, so any are welcome! (please sfw tho) :)

[mollyrolls]

roommate storytime bc what is wrong w her actually

i’ll just write out the convo bc i can’t process this yet

they come in and sigh really loudly

molly: “what’s wrong”

roommate: “oh, yk. boy troubles.”

“ahh i’m sorry. what happened?”

“this guy j told me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship w me bc im leaving next year and he doesn’t want to do long distance, which sucks bc he was so perfect”

“oh, yeah that’s weird. idk, could you just like hook up w him or smth?”

“no, bc he’s so perfect that he doesn’t want to have sex w anyone he’s not in a relationship with”

“oh ok.”

another loud ass sigh

roommate: “he was just so perfect yk, like he looks like a ken doll”

“well idk, no one is perfect”

“yeah, you’re right…. he is a trump supporter… but if you can look past that he’s perfect”

“….”

“politics are just hard for me, bc of my mom… and the only reason he likes trump is bc kamala is so….”

“…..”

“plus he’s so hot… and it was just nice knowing that someone that nice was into me, like he’s such a good guy.”

“yeah, sure. i wouldn’t get to hung up on him though.”

“oh no, i won’t. i only knew him for two days.”

“i see. maybe you’ll have better luck at [school they’re transferring to next year].”

“yeah maybe… i’m just glad i didn’t seal my feelings with him bc i didn’t sleep with him. bc biologically the hormones that get released when an amab person has sex is like an ego thing, and then an afab person releases connection building and relationship hormones.”

“hmm.”

“ok well i have to pee!”

like… sweetie…

idek where to begin with this. i’m gonna do it rhetorical analysis style

this guy j told me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship w me bc im leaving next year and he doesn’t want to do long distance, which sucks bc he was so perfect: lie. he just doesnt want a relationship. you have a whole semester you could be together, he’s just a dick.

no, bc he’s so perfect that he doesn’t want to have sex w anyone he’s not in a relationship with: admirable at first, but now i’m thinking he’s a misogynist and wants to control ur body. also, not an indicator of perfection

he was just so perfect yk, like he looks like a ken doll: he’s a mid white blonde guy. to each their own i suppose

yeah, you’re right…. he is a trump supporter… but if you can look past that he’s perfect: so, he’s not perfect actually, he’s a major asshole who probably hates you bc you’re nonbinary who passes as a woman… double whammy as far as he’s concerned. also, that’s not something i can just “look past” i feel like that’s a fundamental difference i could never agree with. but. sure. i guess.

politics are just hard for me, bc of my mom… and the only reason he likes trump is bc kamala is so…: no please elaborate i’m very curious what kamala is so… what? also what does ur mom have to do w anything

plus he’s so hot… and it was just nice knowing that someone that nice was into me, like he’s such a good guy: again, mid BLONDE white guy. also, doesn’t seem that nice to me. lets raise our standards maybe

bc biologically the hormones that get released when an amab person has sex is like an ego thing, and then an afab person releases connection building and relationship hormones: actually what are you talking abt. i’ve never heard this before please cite your sources bruh

ok well i have to pee! : go piss girl

[secret-vent-rant-account-i-guess]

Ok..I've been thinking about making this for a while so... trigger warnings...I guess

If you do not want to listen about colombine then don't read this so if you don't like any of the stuff related to that then... please go away

If you do want to listen to this and you..... really like the two guys who did it like.....really like them...then also don't read this because it's just me yelling about how I don't like them

And finally 3....there is no grammar or punctuation and I don't wanna put it so without further adieu

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT ERIC HARRIS AND DYLAN KLEBOLD AND WHY THEY SUCK

Ok context I've been doing this thing where I get baked and watch disturbing hour long iceberg videos it's fucking awesome you should try it anyway I was watching "the disturbing and controversial video games iceberg"

Here:

https://youtu.be/sQ1wzo2Zh14?si=Dq74dIht-POE-anC

And on like...teir 3 I think there was this one game titled "super colombine massacre RPG" it's.... exactly what it sounds like and the last teir was doom maps made by Eric harris and idk after watching that video....it stuck with me not in a way that traumatized me but....I kept thinking about those guys their names and faces so often it's like....every other thought and I think a lot

And because I think about them so often I feel bad about it because I feel like one of the people who have a crush on these guys....I don't have a crush on them I have no positive feelings for these greasy mudballs

AND THEY ARE BOTH....JUST ASS LIKE THEY GENUINELY FUCKING SUCK IDK HOW Y'ALL EVEN LIKE THESE DUDES I HATE THEIR GUTS

SPEAKING OF WHICH.....HOW DO Y'ALL EVEN SIMP FOR THESE TRASHMITES

LIKE ERIC HARRIS IS THE MOST AVERAGE LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER I'VE EVER SEEN LIKE....I KNOW LIKE 5 DUDES WHO LOOK LIKE HIM

DYLAN ON THE OTHER HAND LOOKS LIKE THE DEFENTION OF GREASY LIKE THEY ARE BOTH.....JUST....NO

AND ME THINKING ABOUT THEM CONSTANTLY PROBABLY ISNT GREAT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH BECAUSE IM SCSRED TO GO BUY A SODA AT NIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE THIS IRRATIONAL FEAR THELAT THEY'RE GHOSTS ARE GONNA GET ME....I KNOW THAT WON'T HAPPEN THERES NO WAY IT COULD

ANOTHER REASON IT SUCKS FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH I THINK LIKE.... ALMOST EVERY OTHER GUY MIGHT SHOOT UP MY SCHOOL THAT MAKES ME KINDA PARANOID

AND FINALLY I WAS IN CLASS AND A CLASS MATE OF MINE CAME A LITTLE LATE WEARING A TRENCH COAT AND SHADES I ALMOST HAD A GODDAMN HEART ATTACK ITS NOT OK

AND OH HO HO HO MAN....I FOUND SHIT I FUCKING FOUND....WEIRD SHIT I TRIED TO GO ON THIS SITE CAUSE I THOUGHT MAYBE THERE ARE OTHER HATE POSTS ABOUT THESE GUYS....THEN I REMEMBER ITS FUCKING TUMBLR I FOUND THE FANDOM....THID MADE ME FEEL WORSE LIKE....I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT IM NOT ATTRACTED TO THESE FUCK WADS AT ALL LIKE 50 TIMES I FEEL BAD LOOK MAKE ALL THE DYLRIC SHIT YOU WANT MAN BUT FUCK....I DON'T WANNA BE LIKE YOU (wow that sounds mean I'm sorry)

THE FICS ARE WORSE MAN....THEY ARE SO..... IDK HOW TO SAY IT BUT I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER FELT TRUE DREAD TILL NOW

IVE BEEN HAVING DREAMS ABOUT THEM BRO ITS NOT GOOD

(I had this dream where Eric and Dylan lived in one of those influencer mansions like hype house or something and they were telling all the tik tokers about this thing called "cliff terroism" it's domestic terroism but better for the environment and JFK from clone high was there he approved this message)

THERE ARE.... CHARACTER AI BOTS OF THEM.....I-I HAD TO TRY THEM I HAD TO SEE I USED IT TO YELL AT THEM AND THEY WERE LIKE "ur mom" AND I ALSO PRETENDED TO BE A DOG BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

I TRIED SO HARD TO GET MY MIND OFF THEM I GOT HOOKED ON WALLY DARLING FOR A BIT SO I GOT CHAT GPT TO WRITE AN ESSAY ON WHY WALLY DARLING IS BETTER THEN THOSE FUCKING ASS RATS

LIKE I..... I FUCKING HATE IT AND THEM AND WHAT HAPPENED AND MAYBE DEEP DOWN I HATE MYSELF A LITTLE TOO

Thanks for listening...I really needed this

[iheartmyspotify]

The Redfields are sleeping over [Resident Evil Contemporary AU]

Claire Redfield x Chris Redfield x GN reader HEADCANONS

A/N: there are NO sexual or romantic themes. Enjoy the good time and have fun reading this! The link to the spotify playlist is on the title.

TW: reader and Chris are the same age (19) and both are nic addicts. Slight mentions of alcohol and cigarettes usage, along with swearing from time to time. If ur not comfortable, feel free to skip the paras that mention this. Btw y'all live in Raccoon City and the outbreak had never happened.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

⛧ your parents are on a business trip this weekend and allowed Chris and Claire to sleepover as much as they want

⛧ you guys had planned this moment for weeks already

⛧ ''No sleeping bags allowed and NOBODY sleeps on the floor. My bed is big enough for all of us!''

⛧ even if Claire is six years younger than you, her presence doesn't bother you at all. she's actually like a little sister to you and spending the weekend together has never sounded this good!

⛧ using the money you all put up together, Chris went out the night before and bought the snacks. he also managed to sneak in a few beer cans, a whole 34oz bottle of vodka and some other stuff that if Claire finds out about, she'll tell her parents and her big brother is going to be in some big big shit

⛧ the night starts straight wild. The neighbours come by from time to time, but after the third visit you decided to just ingore the loud pounds on the door.

⛧ Chris comes closers to you and whispers ''I had to suck some good dick to get these without and ID.'', then passes you a pack of Dunhill Blues. His words made you laugh your lungs out.

⛧ Just Dance, Mortal Kombat and Karaoke made your whole night

⛧ your and Chris' special song is Telephone by Lady Gaga. No one else is allowed to sing it. He sings Beyoncé's part and you Gaga's

⛧ the music y'all chose is such a vibe i swear

⛧ Chris made the playlist and you sent the songs

⛧ he's a sucker for oldies, especially Modern Talking and y2k europop

⛧ Jill comes over after you told her to and she spent the friday night with you all

⛧ while smoking on the balcony, trying do hide from Claire, she finds you and Chris outside and threatens her big bro she'll tell mom if he won't let her do his makeup

⛧ you locked the doors, Jill cuffs his hand and feet with some scarfs and Claire makes the magic happen

⛧ he's so slay istg😻 claire took the photo and sent it to their family group chat

⛧ Claire gets bored first and goes to sleep around 3AM the second night

⛧ you and Chris insert the big ass speakers from the living room into the bedroom and blast machinegun sounds to wake her up. She stars crying on the spot

⛧ y'all get hungry and try cooking some fancy meal, but you ended up almost burning the kitchen

⛧ around 5AM the deep thoughts start to kick in, so you go out and things get serious. No laughs, no jokes, just sentimental moments that bond your friendship even more

⛧ ''So? Did you guys had fun this weekend?'' your parents ask.

''Eh, it was alright."

⛧ whatever happened those nights it's in the past and it should never be brought up, especially near your parents.

__________________________________________________________

ㅤIdk about you, but I had so much fun writing this. I always imagine how nice life would be if I had a sleepover from time to time with the Redfields. Also, they've been through so much pain that i hope that in a paralel universe they get to party and relax all of the time.

ㅤI hope you enjoyed it and please don't hesitate to request me anything you want. I love recieving ideas.

xoxo

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Alright we're gonna do our first big compilation of my longass notes for a friend of the blogs fic, obviously we mUST start with The Thunder Answered Back by @spicymiilk

Fair warning, I would read the whole fic before reading my notes and laughing/crying along with me. I do think you can go chapter by chapter if you wish. Also a fair warning, I usually cull my notes before posting a fic comment; I really let myself go wild here. Proceed with caution.

Chapter one I didn't have too many notes bc I was deep in it and also there wasn't too too much cringe. Idk if this is well known about me, but I can watch like, hardcore porn or gore and not flinch. I used to watch Animal Planet vet shows while eating cheese its when I got home from school, just munching away while they did surgery on little puppies. But if you write even a tiny bit of cringe it takes me like 5 business days to recover. I fully cannot look at the screen. I will leave the room if an awkward conversation happens in my tv show. I also can't not react to cuteness as well. These notes were mental escapes a lot of the time in this fic, like mother of GOD I want to die even imagining these conversations. Mortifying. Anyways.

Unhinged things I would say on the google doc but here!

DIALOGUE, dialogue, dialogue, dialogue. It can make or break a piece and it CARRIED in this one. It's so very cringe and realistic lol. Dialogue is usually the hardest for writers but I don't think our man here has this problem lol.

Great setting as well, I can feel the heat. A setting you can physically feel is so immersive, it sucks you right in, and my ass has never been to Italy but I've been on a dock and I've been in a hot thunderstorm and I can feel it all.

Obsessed with the way Spider steps into the house and Neytiri's like "dinner, gayboy??" like she was on his ass instantly skskskks. HER LITTLE SLIGHTS AT HIM?? EXPLAIN, LOL. WHAT DID THE CHILD DO? Reminds me of the time my friends mom asked me to stop calling her Chris and I didn't understand why and just blurted back "Okay, Chris." It's just so funny to me when she hates Spider in modern fics, because there's no systemic context it's just her beefing with a small child oddly lol. Having read the whole fic now, it's just Quarich's racism connection, I believe.

I am obsessed with the plight of the boys. Obviously Spider needs to leave, but I'm hoping Lo'ak escapes the military industrial complex lol. I'm so torn. I had Sully fam on the brain, and I wanted Spider's continuing relationship with them all so badly. Maybe I simply need for them to ask Spider to stay with them? Like "live with us for a year buddy, get yourself ready for college. You can do anything king but also ur part of the family, now go deflower our son."

Here is that clarifying question I asked: Did Kiri and Spider have sex??? Or did Mandy tell her about Spider's dick? OR BOTH? I simply could not figure that out. Also missed opportunity to name that character Ninat for the lols. The next generation of Ninat's beefing with and over Sully men.

Now that you've given me my answer, truly hilarious comedic content for everyone around.

Kiri, at night: want to hear about Spider’s dick?

Lo’ak, charcoal and paper out, ready to create an impressive sketch: ew, no, go ahead.

Chapter two, FUCK OFF Jeytiri flirting karaoke is adorable, that’s hilarious. The whole scene made my heart happy bUT NOT HAPPY ENOUGH not enough comfort I need more of it.

Spider turning to Lo’ak who's aLREADY LOOKING AT HIM cause they’re both like “oh you mentioned love, let me look at my best friend,” I’ll die.

Lo’ak literally BEGGING Spider to sing so he can swoon in the corner. I love this headcanon that seems to be cropping up of Spider being like a really good singer, it's very interesting to me.

JAKE UNDERSTANDING SPIDER I’ll die. Jake’s adopted that child you can’t convince me otherwise. Dude, even Neytiri fucking sees him as part of the family, I’ll scream. The tooth gem thing??? Iconic. Loved it. She’s giving Spider specifically cookies??? I’ll die. She's included him in all their shit. Not just anyone can do family game night karaoke. The karaoke, I am obsessed. Adorable. The Kiri and Lo’ak banter means the world to me. Their limp wrist agenda, the limp wrist bullying. What will he do when he can’t hold that against her? She must be unbearable to him in return when Spider isn't there. We love a homophobic gay. It's like what I said about my roommate i slept with twice (who follows me on here and we all better hope doesn't perceive this post); "I only get offended when SHE calls me slurs because I know then it comes from a place of true homophobia."

Kiri is literally begging Spider to understand Lo’ak wants him. BEGGING LO’AK TO UNDERSTAND SPIDER WANTS HIM. Kiri trying not to die at how obvious they both are. Kiri, going to beat the shit out of Lo’ak for asking about Mandy of all people bc of how far he's gone to avoid learning about that. I STILL AM UNCLEAR AS TO IF HIS ASS ACTUALLY DIDN'T KNOW SPIDER BROKE UP WITH MANDY OR HE WAS JUST BEING AN ASS.

Also fuck u for underestimating the importance of Tuk to Spider, he wants Tuk to remember him please I swear.

Also I have noted you have hinted at Spider’s praise kink. I can see it clearly. Nothing more will be said on that topic, but sometimes a praise kink simply makes sense for a character.

'IT COMES OUT MORE LIKE GAY' that was just for me, I know. So was Ninat's kid, obviously. Now that it's cONFIRMED for me I love to know that I am the target audience of all locorro fics ever.

Spider: *calls Lo’ak baby and gets embarrassed*

Lo’ak: *rebooting*

Lol Spider punching Lo’ak for saying slurs is so funny. Lo’ak's like if I say it I ain’t it, and that's on falling for the guy that is punching me for saying the slurs.

This little "I knew" reveal was CERTAINLY not what I was expecting. Not at all. A delightful little twist huh? A little trope subversion? AN EXPLICIT DRUNK CONFESSION IS SO HEART-WRENCHINGLY AWFUL OH MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED THEN WHAT DID THEY D O I MUST KNOW. "It’s not a big deal bc I… like u too obviously lol." That's the end of the sentence and the end of the communication. I was driven insane by that, I just finished XO Kitty, worst show ever, and I was reminded how much I despise when communication would solve legit every problem but it's handled realistically here. Communication is so hard for the boys Kiri will throw hands. And I brought your inhaler with me obvs cause I’m in love with you.

I’m sad about an asthmatic fist fight but it’s so appropriate. I am sad tho. I am a hurt/COMFORT bitch where is my COMFORT. I don't think my body is ready for a nocorro fic from u @spicymiilk my blog is about to become all comforting headcanons and we're going to ignore the plethora of Hunger Games ones I got today.

Now we have to sit here in this world where Lo'ak thought Spider was emotionally(?) cheating on Mandy with him if he thought they were still dating, the fucking clown idiot fool.

FINALLY, for the third and final chapter, with some bonus answers Andrei has given to my demanding all caps questions.

I’m so mean, I’m laughing at the idea of Kiri waking up at an ungodly 7:34am to Lo’ak ugly crying over Spider’s fake bed on the floor like he’s gone off and died in the war. She’s just like the pizza box community meme like uhhhh. Now I know this must happen oFTEN so I again figure that she must have gotten really good at sleeping through his ugly sobbing.

JHUST FUCKING LEAVE QUARITCH THIS IS SO ANNOYING GET OUT OF MY PLOT I’M TRYNA SEE KIRI’S TEXTS, ugh I'm so biased I despised how much he was in this chapter he should choke I wish asthma was contagious. Although, for some reason Quaritch calling Spider Lo’ak’s wife did things to me personally, The sweet homosexual love line then took me out back and popped me (I mean this in a like, Italian mafia putting me down outside way and not like, doing poppers outside a club although for some reason both are giving the same energy).

Neytiri murdering Spider for both turning her son gay and also making him sad can be something so personal. I still am in denial of every universe where she doesn't like him, and in this one I just love the idea of them slinking back to Italy having eloped or some shit where Spider now has to build that relationship but now having deflowered and stolen her son in the night. Hilarious. They must bond over talking about how stupid he is. They're so similar, how can the people with Jake and his clone not be.

Lol I also forgot Lo’ak got a black eye, that makes Kiri’s texts earlier so much funnier. Kiri was like they made out so hard he was struck with love. Developed a bruise. His gayness punched him in the face.

SPIDER KILL YOURSELF IM IN YOUR ROOM KICK YOUR DAD OUT IS SO FUNNY TO ME THE KYS SPECEFICALLY KILELD ME.

Oh my god the crying was all a lie, a fantasy, I’m so disappointed. More realistic, sure, but still. I am unclear as to if it was rEAL.

I had the cunt thing spoiled for me when I was catching up on posts I missed; never did I imagine lol. Almost as hilarious as Lo’ak telling Spider to die because he didn’t look at him, gay.

Spackle covering the hole in the wall, hmm, I wonder who punched that there?? Also abusive Quaritch giving romantic advice is making me want to puke up all my organs. I know Andrei says say the hole in the wall was nothing, but you can't have an abusive dad character and then mention a hole in the wall and nOT have us thinking that Quaritch punched a hole in the wall. Every reader is gonna think that.

Lol those Kiri texts and what she says is sO MEAN god I totally get why she did it but omg way to ruin a man over something that is not his decision or his fault. She’s just so so mad about the gays being dumb. Can’t believe she finally coughed up this info. Also the way Quaritch could probably hear all this through the wall makes me wanna die.

Speaking of Quaritch, what an interesting portrayal of their relationship. As a Quaritch hater, there's very few fics where I don't just fully skip long interactions with him. I gotta have really been sucked into the world, and I was with this one. I can't tell what of my feelings on the characters have made me biased on the relationship and what are my feelings on what the text portrayed. The feeling of too late in their relationship is there, overwhelmingly and devastatingly, but part of me found myself unconvinced by the attempts from Quartich. I literally can't tell if it's my own bias (most likely) or if it's my own lack of explicit background knowledge.

What we do learn of the past we learn in fragments, passing lines from Spider's internal monologue. They aren't the focal point of the story, but they are deeply important to the world created, and it leaves me with a feeling like I'm in an unfinished paint by numbers; I don't quite have the full picture. (Again, as I always say to you in my beta notes Andrei, these are incredibly harsh comments for fic. It's just good enough I'm treating it as though it's more lol (bc it can be)).

As to why everyone is finding Kiri mean; yeah she's neurospicy and we do clearly get the vibe that they talk to each other in this way, this casual banter that doesn't really mean anything. That being said, casual "kill yourself" or like "this is all your fault" and shit like that when the character is clearly upset and angry comes across as serious. Knowing Kiri as a character I didn't think she was, but reading it took me aback because as a standalone I don't have that context. In arguments and serious moments those words pack a punch, especially to a reader in such close third as we are with Spider in this one. We are WITH him and seeing only his thoughts and perspectives, his hurt is front and center so it's easy to feel hurt and defensive as a reader. I digress.

Lo’ak’s like every man in a crime show calling his wife to hear her voice one last time before he goes to to the dangerous mission and almost dies. He's like "I'll hear Spider's breathing and then know the US military is the way for me." Spider, the barrier between Lo’ak and the goddamn US military. That’s so funny to me. This is another reason to feel confused by Kiri's vitriol; it's not Spider's fault what Lo'ak chooses to do with his life and it is unfair to blame him. One line of her doing it I get, but she does it several times and the only excuse we get for her is from Spider.

Kiri is better than me I’m an awful secret keeper. But also maybe she could’ve coughed that bad boy up earlier, huh?

Tbh tho, on a serious writing note; it’s so well written because from the beginning we know exactly what is happening. They both like each other and Kiri knows both sides. That was obvious to me. You tell us from the get go that Spider is leaving when he turns 18, and that Lo’ak is leaving to join the military, WE KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN. And yet the train chugs on and each event sets it in motion instead of derailing it, leaving us with an inevitable tragedy we all saw coming. Well done. If I was giving line edits on a publishable work, I’d say speed up the timeline. Make the whole fic (so excluding prior events like the party) all happen like. A few days before Spider leaves. I want to feel it all in real time, up close, as it happens. No breaks in time. I also want that memory convo with Lo’ak earlier lol, so that the realization of it can hit later. And honestly, if it wasn’t fic I’d leave it with the Kiri and Spider convo. No happy ending. BUT NOW LET ME GO READ MY WELL DESERVED HAPPY ENDING. U would've been SICK for not including one.

Extremely uncommon fanfiction Jake Sully W here. It should be more common I am an unapologetic stan.

Them going to find each other is so funny to me. Kiri was personally sending them on a wild goose chase as revenge.

OH THERE IT IS THE COMMON JAKE SULLY L. Although driving your gay ass son to do an airport rom com moment at 5:45am is actually quite the parenting w, where the fuck was Neytiri she would’ve been much more efficient. I mean she wouldn't have let him go, but she would've been efficient about it.

The idea of Lo’ak making his final decision to go to the military earlier in the day and then not actually doing it until he wakes Jake up at 2am makes me cackle. Jake: you go get that dick son, your mother can kill us both later.

ALSO WHY’S HE PULLING HIS SHIRT COLLAR SO HIGH, HMMM, ANDREI??? Showing up to meet his grandmother absolutely dEFILED. Does Lo'ak even have a change of clothes, that monster.

It’s 2:18am (when I originally write this), I have work tomorrow as I do literally every day of the week, and I’m just smiling to myself at this shit. Criticism: not enough of them being happy and also I didn’t get to learn what depraved things Spider wanted to do to Lo’ak that he drunkenly told him about that Lo’ak then had to live with torturing himself (and Kiri) over for months.

Andrei's response on what Spider drunkenly said to Lo'ak for the people: The depraved things are as follows— spider sat his ass in Lo’ak’s lap, completely and utterly gone, and waved poetry about Lo’ak’s long and strong fingers for at least ten minutes. He also made sure to mention his borderline tank top kink. Lo’ak definitely did not internalize that

I just have to say; I should've expected that. Those two gay ass losers to simply lose their minds over tHAT, which is like nOTHING. A REGULAR CONVERSATION I'D DARE SAY. ONE OF THE FIRST CONVERSATIONS I HAD WITH ONE OF MY ROOMMATES WAS ABOUT HER HAND KINK, SO I RECIPROCATED BY SAYING I THOUGHT THE DWARVES IN LOTR HAD GOOD HANDS. LO'AK WAS DEAD, SIMPLY MURDERED, A BLUSHING FOOL OVER THAT.

Lo'ak, stumbling into his and Kiri's room: Spider confessed his love for me and said... depraved things.

Kiri: OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE SAY.

Lo'ak: He said he likes my tank tops... I can barely speak of it out loud.

Kiri: Oh. 🙄

Also lowkey Kiri has to be enraged they’re normal now that they’re away from her. ALSO DOESN’T THAT BITCH LO’AK HAVE SCHOOL?? Hilarious all around. Lo’ak brings Spider back because they cannot be apart and then keeps him in his and Kiri’s room for the next year until he finishes high school. They see how long they can go without Quaritch finding out Spider’s nearby. Kiri hates them so much, especially now that they fuck in her space.

Andrei said in response to this: Lo’ak finished school in Florida!! Pulled a fast one on the school system and said hey I’m smart enough to finish like two classes here. Kiri didn’t speak to EITHER of them for months. Neytiri would call to check up and Kiri would be whining in the background about how she’s betraying her

They make up when Spider saves up to get her a ticket to visit them for a summer 🤸

The idea of Lo'ak never returning is so funny to me in so many ways. First of all, Spider dropping him off and picking him up like he's the sexy older boyfriend in every romcom ever. Second, the idea of Spider bullying him for having to go to school still. Three, they just squat with Spider's grandma, and she's like god I expected one gay loser not TWO. Four, Neytiri calling to check up just resulting in her and Spider both bitching about Lo'ak and Kiri respectively here is how the Neytiri and Spider fanboys can win-

Also, the idea of someone having to tell Neteyam about this makes me want to cry real tears of laughter. He’s in his first semester of college someone free him.

Andrei said: Let neteyam live in blissful ignorance. He knew Lo’ak was a raging homosexual for their entire lives and the second he saw spider he was like. Oooohhh okay. And then he never looked again the mental strength required to deal with it was just too much

Kiri, on facetime: so Lo'ak followed Spider-

Neteyam, opening a textbook in his Harvard dorm room or some shit:

[this-is-chaos-magick]

https://www.tumblr.com/this-is-chaos-magick/761040354318368768/httpswwwtumblrcomthis-is-chaos-magick7609472

I agree with all of this pretty whole heartedly (except for the Marvel hates her part, I just think screenwriters for the studio don’t know how to write her because of how much the comics writer truly despise Wanda as a character. House of M sucks and you’ve been dooped lol). But to your point of Wanda trying to find help, and find people who will still accept her (which definitely makes the monumental task of changing easier), and I’ve always thought that the X-Men would be pretty perfect for that part of her story.

I say this because the X-Men are very well known for some of their members having done some extremely awful things (for some of them, worse than what Wanda did in MoM), but the thing about those members is the fact that they’re not only trying to be better and redeem themselves, but in some way have a found a pseudo family or found some form of relationship where they feel seen and aren’t alone. With Wanda, I always think of Rogue, someone who was raised as a rather villainous force, who joined the X-Men, and hasn’t felt like a good person, but she still tries, and is never alone, and I think that’s something Wanda needs at this point. More than reuniting with Vision or finding her kids, it’s finding a good, stable support system, one that’ll encourage her to do better and get therapy, have empathy for her and her past, and just generally give her a safe space to be seen and fuck up.

I’m sorry for the rant, I know it’s also extremely X-Men pilled, so my bad. But I genuinely want Wanda to be treated with empathy from people who will see her for who she is.

Hey sorry again for the late reply,

I was being sarcastic (is that the right word😭) on the mcu hating Wanda thingy, it's like a running joke eversince dsmom... since they keep making her suffer :(

I agree with ur comment about Wanda being with the mcu X-Men but I don't think X-Men is coming to the mcu soon, it seems Feige keep dilly dollying about them (and also....I don't think x men fans would want mcu Wanda's character to be with them...and the discourse would be annoying) mcu writing kind of sucks right now...and let's be realistic .....Wanda is mostly likely gonna come in the next avengers movie as a shock value and probably...oh god probably gonna be captured by RDJ's doom or some annoying shit like that...and I hate the fact that's mostly like is gonna happen...💀[annoyed screaming] Since mcu knows how to disappoint us with always making the worst choice possible

Okay enough with negativity let me be positive, 🙏

With Agatha all along releasing...and her having a coven, if Wanda returns... somewhere in the future I am hoping for her to be with Agatha and her friends...I know Wanda and Agatha have issues with each other, but them both being free of the darkhold influ...maybe they will understand each other, try to forgive each other and then be friends and then mentor her? I want Wanda to learn more about magic I am upset that Wanda literally just got into magic in the mcu and they killed her quickly...:((((( we really need a scarlet witch movie, tbh I don't think Wanda actually died in the dsmom even tho I always makes a post about it (I am dramatic ass hell) you know since the witches road is getting used in Agatha,

you know I have a idea for a scarlet witch movie

its mixing the original writing from mcu writers ( Jac Schaeffer save us) and a bit of Scarlet witch (1994) storyline, trust me I already think this through it could work with the right writer and director [I'll make a separate post why I think so let me just edit it in the drafts if anybody is interested] also gives Wanda a villains to fight that could work with her mcu storyline

[aristotels]

ningguang!!!! who are ur fav genshin characters/ships? and whats ur favorite nation……

its such a pity its a gacha game which very rightfully puts people off bc like. its a genuinely good game with good writing and lots of content. im just waiting for comrade xi to finally instill that gacha ban so that they change their business model lmao.

i post more on my genshin blog @genshitotel but my fav are childe, kaveh, and dehya. other than that i rly do love all genshin chars, furina is my girl, so is hu tao and beidou (aHHH BEIGGUANG) and ofc yae, nahida... qiqi's kit sucks once youre higher level but her story literally broke my heart.

liyue as fav nation, sumeru as fav arc. sumeru would be the favourite if it wasnt so fucking huge and pain in the ass to navigate lmao

im not a big fan of the artstyle, its too complex for me, tho the cutscene animations are incredible. its such a treat to see them.

there are chars i relate to so much - kaveh especially (since im an artist) but ei's story of loss and furinas life under a mask resonated so much with me as well. i lost my mom so the way the life stopped for ei after she lost her sister was so relatable. she was so scared of loss she didnt even tell yae goodbye.

i think the only char i actively dislike is mika bc of that fucking voice and bc my ex loved him (also why i cant stand kaeya and diluc).

nahida must be my fav archon tho zhongli is right behind her (he really did not give a shit). ningguang i love just for being a girlboss billionare mayor lmao

p.s. I have merch if u wanna grab anything

[star-dust-shark]

pjo incorrect quotes as things me and people I know have said on crack

Jason: these grapes are funky

Leo: these grapes are fucky

Leo: *drops sandwich, cries*

-

Nico: I will never forget the fact that Piper and I where sitting together with headphones on and she looked up only to see me playing air guitar and head banging to whats my age again

-

Solangelo: *kith*

Will: *walking away with a dorky grin*

Will: *almost gets hit by car*

Will: *gets home and screams into pillow for twenty minutes, then picks up diary and writes like five pages about Nico, then texts him for like an hour and a half and afterwards draydreams about him*

Will: hmm I think I might like Nico

-

Leo: imagine having sex and someone moans like a hentai girl lol

Percy: *moans* KyAAaaaAAHHHhhhhhh

-

Reyna: bro apologized like Colleen Ballinger

Reyna: like fuck off I hope you die

Percy: tOxiC GosSiP tRaiN

Jason: not a groomer

Leo: *hair flip* just a loser

-

Piper: Im horny- I mean horngry- I mean- *cries*

-

Nico: mentally I am a fifty year old man

Will: yeah totally not obvious mister motley crue

-

Leo: jason

Leo: I have something to tell you

Jason: yeah?

Leo: Im gay

Jason: WHAT

Jason: NO WAY THATS CRAZY

-

Annabeth: my wrist hurts

Percy: emooooooooooo

Annabeth: I literally sprained it wtf

-

Hazel: no you cant commit mass genocide Nico

Nico: its pride month this is homophobic

-

Reyna: okay how about we play the quiet game

Reyna: whoever wins gets my two dollars

Reyna: three, two, one, ghost town

Frank:

Leo:

Percy:

Annabeth:

Jason:

Nico:

Leo: *face red, fists clenched, rocking back and forth*

Everyone: *concerned looks*

Leo: I cant- IM A BITCH IM A BOSS IM A BITCH AND A BOSS AND I SHINE LIKE GLOSS

-

Piper: your moms hot

Jason: lol what she ugly asf

-

Will: im concerned with your eating habits, Nico

Nico:

Will: its very serious Im kinda scared

Nico:

Nico: womp womp

-

Jason: would you suck my dick if-

Percy: yes

Jason:

Jason: if there was poison in it and I would die if you didnt

-

Leo: ive learnt something interesting

Leo: my arm skin one day may be cut off and turned into a penis

Leo: therefore...

Leo: *bumps arm into Jason*

Leo: JESUS JASON STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS

Jason: WHAT

-

*talking on tumblr*

Hazel: wyd

Frank: jus on tumblr and talking to you

Hazel: lol nerd imagine

-

Hazel: *bats eyelashes* what does gyat mean

Frank: uhh It means generous young amazing t-

Leo: GORL YA ASS THEEK

-

Rachel: Im so single

Will: skill issue? L ratio? no rizz? no game? no bitches?

-

Percy: I havent taken my meds

Annabeth: oh no good gods

Percy: so that means

Percy: I will either try to kill myself orrrrr

Percy: like violently fuck someone

Jason: I volunteer

Jason: I volunteer as tribute

-

Nico: hey girl *winks* r u a racoon

Nico: bc Im trash

Nico: *bursts into tears*

-

Annabeth: *walks into bathroom, sees spider*

Annabeth: *yelps* oh

Annabeth: hello mister spider

Annabeth: youre not so bad

Spider: *moves*

Annabeth: FUCK NAH PERCY WERE MOVING PACK YO BAGS

-

Jason: *hits knee* oh fuck- my knee-

Leo: okay

Jason: *scared* ur gonna fuck my knee????

-

Thalia: I am now a tree a tree I am a tree is me

-

Nico: im actually kinda insecure about my knees weirdly enough

Will: aww bb :(

Will: well I think you uh

Will: ...have beautiful knees???

-

Nico: *jokingly* I can read your mind

Will: oh no

Will: oh shit

Will: thats not good

Nico: it cant be that bad

Will:

Nico: are these thoughts about me, per chance?

Will: WHAAAAT NOOO *hangs up*

-

Leo: daddy hands, twig nerd bod

-

Leo: im confused why can girls call their friends girlfriends but whenever I call Jason my boytoy twink malewife manwhore someone gets pissed

-

Hazel: yeah, this guys really annoying me

Frank: ugh im gonna fist him

Hazel: ...

Frank: what

Frank: like beat him up?

Hazel:

-

Percy: my friend thinks youre cute

Annabeth: what? who?

Percy: me

Percy: Im the friend

Percy: I think ur cute

-

Nico: so weird when someone comforts you

Nico: like why

Nico: just lemme be a moody emo brooding sad angsty depressed boy for a bit

-

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo: *in toad voice* BItCH i SaiD wHaT i sAiD iD rAthEr bE FaMoUs InsTeAd iD LeT aLL Of ThAt GeT To MY heAd I DonT cArE ILL pAinT tHe ToWn ReD

-

Nico: *crafting with scissors*

Percy: *walks in*

Percy: what are you doing

Nico: ...crafting?

Percy: oh okay I thought you where cutting yourself

Nico:

Nico: IM MAKING A HELLO KITTY ART PIECE

-

Leo: *glares*

Frank: *glares back*

Frank and Leo: *glaring at eachother*

Leo: omg I just felt sparks

Frank: DUDE STFU WTF

-

*sees gay porn*

Will: thats it im homophobic

-

Nico: so I wrote this song

Nico: *adjusts mic, positions guitar*

Nico: *deep breath*

Nico: *strums single chord* my whole family died

Nico: thank you, thank you

-

Nico: just realized the only physical contact Ive had in like a whole month was Leo dabbing me up

-

Jason: straights ask why theres no straight pride month but like

Jason: isnt there a toyota month or smth

Jason: id say that works