#‘take a shot every time the writers/team sidestepped

[heyclickadee]

And that’s a wrap!

I compared season two to The Empire Strikes Back, and that was his response.

[unreachablevoice]

Oneshot? Daminette Oneshot!

OKay, you see, I’ve been reeaaallly wanting to write about people crying for a while now for some reason (don’t ask me why I legit don’t even know). So I thought, why not make a oneshot? So BOOM! here it is! (even though I should've been writing my other Daminette and/or Maribat fics)

Anyway, I just learned that writing about people crying SUCKS! Like, why is it so effing hard???? Why did no one warn me about this??? (I mean I should’ve seen it coming either way because EVeRYTHING ABOUT WRITING is hard). So I am very sorry in advance if this isn’t as good as it... whatever it is??? hahahaha because I gotta tell you, I just did this on a whim because WRITER’S BLOCK! THAT DUDE IS SO ANNOYING!!!

Oh and you know, I’m not sure if this is considered angst? Angst with Happy Ending?... So I just researched about it and asked ma chérie belle and she said yes? But I’m still not sure so I’m just going to tag it as one.

Anywho, umm the first part of my Daminette Age Gap AU just received 400 loves (that’s what I want to call it cuz I think it’s cute leave me be!) so let’s just say that the sole purpose of this oneshot is to satisfy my craving for crying stuff and to celebrate those 400 loves (thank god for convenient coincidences) that I received from you wonderful peeps!!!!

Enjoy~!

Warning: Swearing and cuss words are present. Please read with caution, thank you!

I’m Not Scared Of Anything, But Losing You Would Be Terrifying

Cruising down the alleyway with his Father right beside him in his Batmobile, the sirens of police cars rang in his ears.  

They had received a call from Commissioner Gordon not too long ago, saying how Scarecrow had escaped from Arkham and is causing havoc in a café somewhere. It would’ve been fine to just leave it with the GCPD and a few from their team but some reported that he was making a new concoction of his Fear Gas. Something much more intense.

Skidding to a stop, he takes off his helmet and walks to where his Father and the police were conversing.  

“Robin.” the Dark Knight nods to him as he places himself next to his looming figure.

Crossing the police tape and getting inside the café, Robin comes face to face with Scarecrow. A gun in his hand, pointing at the hostages as he laughs maniacally.  

“Scarecrow!” Batman calls from beside him, “Enough is enough! Let them go!”  

The villain throws his head back and laughs loudly, earning a snarl from both of the vigilantes.

“You see, dear Batman,” —Scarecrow raises his gun— “I’ve been wanting to try my new experiment.” he smirks at them and cocks his gun with his other hand.  

“And you’re just the right person for the job.”

Not a second after, his goons began ambushing them.  

Three goons began to circle him with their guns in hand and a demented smile on their face. If he hadn’t seen Scarecrow command them himself, he might’ve thought that the Joker was the one leading the attack.

With quick work with his Batarangs, he swiftly flings their guns out of their grasps.  

Seeing as how they’re disarmed; one goon throws a punch to his face. Robin’s hand immediately shots out and blocks his punch and twists it in a direction he was sure was not possible an arm could handle.

The goon screams in anguish, which gives Robin a momentum to punch him square in the face with his free hand and watches as the goon's nose drip with blood.  

Dropping the now passed out goon, he turns to the other two goons and kneels down and pulls out a Bo Staff.  

Letting out a battle cry, he lunges at them and whacks them to their side, which throws them to a few tables. The sound of cracks bringing satisfaction to his ears.

Finishing the goons, he turns to Scarecrow and sees him still sporting that smug smirk on his face. What’s his motive? Why is he still smiling even though they’re practically beating up his henchmen?

They briefly catch each other’s eyes and the villain’s smile grows even wider.

Robin scowls at the villain and readies himself in a battle stance.

Without even having the chance to take a step forward, Scarecrow raises his gun and shoots at his direction.  

Quickly sidestepping the bullet, he looks back at the villain, “You should really work on your aim.”

Scarecrow smirks at him mockingly, “Was I really aiming for you?”

What?

He looks behind him and sees a tank of Scarecrow’s Fear Gas punctured by his bullet.

Holy shit.

His eyes widen and he reaches to his utility belt to pull out a gas mask, but before he was able to put it on his face, a goon tackles him to the ground. Causing him to loosen his grip on the said mask.

“Fuck!” he mutters as he tries to wrestle free from the goon’s hold. “Get off me!”  

As he struggles to be free, he feels the mist cloud his vision. Blurring his surroundings and making everything indistinguishable.

“Get up!” he hears someone yell at his ears and the goon that was holding onto him disappears.  

He abruptly stands and closes his eyes shut. Clenching his jaw, he reminds himself that none of what he’ll see is real. To dismiss everything and pay it no mind because they are not real.

His breath becomes ragged and his heart thunders against his chest as he hears voices around him.  

‘None of this is real!’ he chants to himself and covers his ears.

The sounds slowly began dissipating and everything went quiet. Too quiet.  

“Damian!” an angelic voice suddenly cuts through the silence and calls out to him.

‘Habibti?’

He slowly and warily opens his eyes and is immediately met with a different environment.

Gone was the café he was previously in; he was now in a park surrounded by trees and some benches on the side. The sun was also shining brightly and the birds were chirping. Everything seemed perfect. Too perfect.

He looks down at himself and sees that he’s no longer wearing his Robin uniform but regular civilian clothing.  

‘What am I doing here?’

“Listen to me!” the sweet voice calls out to him again.

“Wha—?”  

“Look at me!” the voice shouts again and he feels his every being shake. Making him lose his balance and fall on the floor.  

“Marinette?” he calls out and looks around. Where was she?

Whipping his head around, he is immediately met with a mop of blue-black hair.

Relief floods his whole being as he stands up and goes over to her, “Hey, I’m here,” he smiles and reaches for her hand.

“No!” Marinette shouts and slaps his hand away. Only then did he notice that her comforting gaze had turned into a sharp glare. Her beautiful blue bell orbs gone as a dark sapphire blue filled with anger replaced it. Why was she looking at him like that? Had he done something wrong?

“H-Habibti—?”

“Stop calling me that!” he winces at her tone and Marinette’s scowl deepens. Her hands ball into fists that he was afraid she’d cut her skin with her nails.  

“W-What are you—?” he hastily reaches out to her once more.

“SHUT UP!” she shouts and everything shook again. Her face, still sporting that scowl, looks at him with disgust.

“I can’t believe I ever dated you,” she spat and steps back.

Damian recoils as though he’s been slapped in the face. He feels a twinge in his chest as though his heart has been pinched and punctured. No, please. She's the only thing that stayed in his life, don’t let her go now. Please.

“Marinette,” he calls as his hands reach out to her again, in to which Marinette avoided in distaste.  

Seeing how angry and disgusted she looked at him made something inside of him shatter. Was he that horrible to make her not want him touch to her? Was he that disgusting?

“Mari—”

“I can’t even stand to look at you right now.” he flinches as though he just received a punch to his gut. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her in his arms and cry and ask what he’d done wrong, but he can’t do that when she’s sneering at him with abhorrence.  

“I hate you, Damian,” she glowers in that tone that he hated so much. The one that he never wanted to be directed at him. But now it was.

He drops down to his knees and crawls to her feet, “I’m sorry,” he cries out.

Tears began to pool at the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he repeats in a strangled voice. But Marinette won’t even look at him anymore.  

“W-Whatever it was, I’m sorry,” he choked out as he pleaded at her feet.  

Marinette kicked at his hand away and seethed, “Don’t touch me,” she hissed as though his touch was dirty. He was dirty.

“I don’t ever want to see you again,” he blanches at her statement. His hands shook as big blobs of tears drip down his face. His heart beating sporadically as his ears rang with how everything seems to sound louder.

“Plea—”

“We’re through.”  

Everything felt numb. He couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t hear anything. Just that phrase repeating itself over and over again in his head. More tears began flowing down his face and he felt like he could drown, like he couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t believe that he’d one day hear those words. That those pink lips, those very same lips that he would kiss senselessly, would say that to him.

Marinette glares at him one last time and walks away, leaving him with his despair and depression eating him up.

He had always wished that this day would never come. But not all wishes come true. And now, he’s watching as the girl of his dreams, the love of his life, his girlfriend for four years leaves him. Leaves him and never comes back.

“P-Please,” he sobs as he reaches out to her disappearing form. “I promise, I’ll do better. Please, just don’t leave me.”  

He stands up and attempts to run after her. But he couldn’t. Hands were holding onto him and stopping him from running after the bluenette. Feeling like the whole world was against it. Like they wanted to see him suffer.

“No!” he shouts and thrashes around, trying to get the hands, that bound him to where he stood, off. Why were they so against it? So against him? Did the world really not want him to be happy?

“Please,” he wails and just stands there, letting his tears fall as the world takes away the only thing that made him feel free.  

He stood there and broke down as he watched his love disappear from his world; from his life. He cries out and screams shamelessly as he mourns for her dying love for him. As he hears and feels his own heart break from her rejection.

And he feels it. Feels their stares. Feels the whole world taunting him on how he just lost the only person who’d stayed by his side and accepted him. Making fun of how they knew he couldn’t do anything about it. How he was powerless.

He shuts his eyes tight and slides to the ground, wishing that this was all just a dream...

No.

This is not a dream. Because dreams are beautiful.  

This is a nightmare.

As he sits there and cries for Marinette, he feels a small prick on the back of his neck. And another. And a third. Then the slight cloudiness of his mind disappears as everything went black.  

————————

Fluttering his eyes open, Damian is met with a white ceiling and warmness on his face as the sunlight crept through the window.  

He lets out a groan and rubs the side of his head.  

‘Where am I?’

Roaming his eyes to check where he was, a flash of recognition comes across his green orbs. He was in his room. How?  

A soft click resounded from the door and captures his attention as a blue-black blur emerges, seeming to be whispering with something at the door.

‘What’s going on?’

He rubs at his eyes and groans again. Everything was bleary and his mouth felt rough and dry. What was he doing here? Back in his room? Wasn’t he at a café before?

“Dami?” he flinches at the voice and feels a warm sensation on his forehead.  

‘What is this?’

Damian reaches up to the warm... thing on his forehead and grasps it, trying to feel what it was. Was it... a hand? Why was there a hand touching his forehead? Wasn't he alone in his room?

Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks up to see a black—kind of blue—blob?... What the fuck?! Wha—What is this? What exactly is he seeing right now?

He raises his arm and tries to grab at the blueish black blob. And by grab, he meant fight. He was fighting to get the hand on his forehead off. Fighting to reach for the blue-black blob.

“Dove, calm down,” the blob speaks as it holds on to both of his hands to steady them. “It’s just me.”

Suddenly, his eyesight began clearing. The blurry things that he was seeing were no more, everything began getting clearer.  

The blue-black blob that he was trying to fight (and he was definitely not losing) was finally turning comprehensible.

His eyes widen at the thing—correction, person in front of him. His breath hitching and his heart beating against his chest as he stares at those familiar blue bell eyes.

“Habibti?”  

Marinette smiles softly at him. That same smile she always used to tell him that everything is all right. That smile that always seemed to make him feel calm, no matter the situation.  

“Yes, it’s me.”

Damian chokes out a sob and feels his tears pour down his cheeks again. He reaches out to her and buries his face on her chest, trying to relish the feeling as he was afraid that everything—that this might just be a dream.  

“Oh, dear.” he hears her mutter and feels her hand pat his head and smoothen his dark locks of hair. And it eased him a little. Made him feel that he was not hallucinating and that he was safe.  

“I heard what happened,” she says in that tone, that voice that sounds so soft and caring that it made him cry harder. “Your brothers said that you inhaled Scarecrow’s new concoction of Fear Toxin and that it was so strong, they had to triple the dosage of the antidote.”

Marinette continues to rub circles on his back and cradle him back and forth as he continues to cry. Making him feel like he was a child, safe in his beloved's arms.  

“I wish I could have been there,” she whispers and holds him tighter. Something that made him feel safe and away from the world, even if her arms were dainty and delicate. “Could have helped you.”

Damian feels his emotions and cries come back tenfold as he remembers what he saw when he was still influenced by the Fear Toxin. How hurt and devastated he was. How his whole world fell apart.  

“I-I thought—” he hiccups, “—you were going to leave me.” he sobs harder and feels the spot on her shirt where he was crying go wet.

“No.” she pulls away from him just a bit and looks at his face, “I will never leave you.” her voice so raw with emotion, so sincere that it made him cry and thank whoever was up there that they are together.

She reaches up to his face and caresses his cheek, “I love you.” she smiles and kisses his forehead. Her lips so soft against his skin that he sometimes wondered if he just so much as to touch it the wrong way, would it tear open and bleed a pretty red color?

“I love you too.” he croaks out as he feels his voice go hoarse with all the crying. God, if his brothers could see him now, they’d for sure tease him for the rest of his life.

————————

OMAKE: 

Marinette – *is lying down with Damian tucked in her arms* Wanna tell me about it?

Damian – ...It was terrifying.

Marinette – I thought you said you were fearless?

Damian – *pouting* I am! But that was seriously horrifying!

Marinette – Don’t you mean SCAREy?

Damian – UGH

Marinette – HAHAHAHA XD

Damian – You have got to stop hanging out with Grayson

————————

Edit: Okay, I forgot that I was suppose to tag people.. sorry ^^; and uh I’m still not sure on how to do this whole tagging thing so I’m sorry if I missed some people 

Tags:

@thornalchemist23

@abrx2002

@k-poplunardreams

@joejoejodee

[jbuffyangel]

Selfless: Arrow 6x23 Review (Life Sentence)

Arrow delivers an emotional, but unsurprising finale. There isn’t much we didn’t see coming, but thankfully Stephen Amell and Paul Blackthorne, in particular, brought their A games and made me feel all the feels.

And oh yes, you can bet your sweet bippy we’ll be discussing the whole Oliver-didn’t-tell-Felicity-he’s-going-to-prison-for-life situation.

Let’s dig in…

Preface

Arrow Season 6 is similar to Season 4 in the sense there were certain tent points the writers were trying to hit. It resulted in pushing the story a certain direction rather than letting it develop organically. For example, the Olicity break up was easily avoided just like Oliver going to prison is easily avoided.

However, if Olicity breaking up was the only possible outcome then lying was the lesser of storyline evils. We have to suspend logic for prison to become the only possible outcome like we did in Season 4. Does it make great writing? No. It doesn’t, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles with Arrow sometimes.

The primary issue with Season 6 is the Big Bad. Arrow lives and dies with their Big Bad, since 75% of the story is built around stopping this person. Ricardo Diaz is easily Arrow’s worst Big Bad ever. Supposedly, it’s impossible for Oliver to stop Diaz on his own because he’s always two steps ahead and has the city on lock.

Umm… no. There’s almost nothing in the way Arrow has built or presented Diaz that makes him a viable threat to Oliver or the city. He’s a poor imitation of a gangster who screams a lot. The only reason Diaz is a few steps ahead is because the other characters reacted illogically or stupidly to him. Oliver should have been able to take this guy down long before 6x23. Hell, Diggle should have taken him down in 6x06.

We have to believe Diaz’s is an unstoppable Big Bad, which requires Oliver to ask the FBI for help and make this deal. 

Unfortunately, this is just not true. If this was Adrian Chase as Prometheus then we can absolutely understand why Oliver would go running to the FBI. 

Diaz? Not so much.

The intent of this preface is to acknowledge I see the Grand Canyon sized plot holes. 

Yes, prison is easily avoided. Yes, Ricardo Diaz is the worst and can easily be taken down without all this extra “help.” Or if “help” is required then get it from someone who doesn’t demand 25 to life.

Olicity

No beating around the bush. Let’s dive right in. Oliver has secured everyone immunity (Yeah!!!) and spends the better part of the episode casually dodging Felicity while he goes on a farewell tour with the other characters.  Felicity picks up on it because 1) she’s Felicity and 2) Oliver is ridiculously obvious about it.

Felicity wants to know what Oliver gave Watson to secure immunity for everyone. Rather than patiently wait for Oliver to fess up like she normally does, Felicity offers a guesses - Oliver agreed to give up the Green Arrow. This guess conveniently gives Oliver the opportunity to lie without really lying. He sidesteps the truth by answering, “Sort of.” 

Sure, giving up the Green Arrow is all part of life in prison, my forever gumdrop. Anything else you’d like to know? Of course, Oliver should have fessed up immediately. Lies of omission are still lies and we danced this dance all of Season 4 and Season 5 Oliver Jonas Queen! Learn fool!

Felicity’s reaction to Oliver giving up the hood is something we should make note of.

Source: @callistawolf​

We can insert this gif for every stupid decision Oliver has ever made.

What irritates me about this scene is an argument snowballs on false pretenses. Oliver doesn’t tell Felicity what they are really fighting about. He is giving up being Green Arrow because HE IS GOING TO PRISON. Oliver no longer believes in becoming his best self because HE IS GOING TO PRISON. Watson isn’t stopping Oliver from being who he is because it was OLIVER’S IDEA TO GO TO PRISON.

This is like picking a fight over laundry when you are really arguing about money. Stop talking about detergent when you’re really throwing down over the 401k. I’m also having trouble wrapping my head around prison being Oliver’s idea, 

but of course it was because 1) Oliver is the stupidest to ever stupid and 2) he is that selfless. 

We are led to believe Oliver is just about to tell Felicity the truth, but they are interrupted by Curtis because he insists on annoying me every single episode.

Watson officially arrests Oliver while he waits in the hospital for news on Quentin with the rest of the team. 

He explains to everyone (primarily Felicity) he’s sorry he hasn’t explained what’s going on, but there just wasn’t any time. Umm… how about those few minutes you’ve been sitting in a waiting room with your wife, Oliver? Seems to me there was plenty of time to fess up.

Me: Yup, that’s right. Look away in shame you big, dumb, guilty oak tree!

Also me: My poor-honorable-yet-misguided-selfless-cupcake-in-perfectly-accentuated-leather-pants.

Oliver didn’t confess because he didn’t want to confess. Telling Felicity makes it real. Telling Felicity means Oliver has to face everything he has given up. He’s kept it together as he hunted down Diaz and said his goodbyes to Diggle, Quentin, Rene and Dinah. But now it’s just Oliver and Felicity in a room. He has to tell his wife goodbye and Oliver can’t keep it together anymore.

Felicity is ready. She has a plan and promises Oliver she will break him out of prison with Diggle’s help. Oliver explains he’s being transferred to a supermax. A breakout is impossible.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Felicity argues Oliver kept his identity secret because he wanted a life beyond the Green Arrow. This confession, this agreement, sacrifices that dream. It sacrifices a life he was so close to living. Oliver understands that. 

He wanted to save the city more. He wanted to protect Felicity and William more. Without them there is no dream. There is no life. He would have nothing. Oliver would sacrifice anything to keep his wife and son safe, including his freedom.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Marc Guggenheim explained in an interview the reason why Oliver did not tell Felicity about the deal he made with Watson is because she would talk him out of it. I agree this is true. I cannot imagine any circumstances in which Felicity Smoak would agree to her husband spending life in prison. Can you? 

Look at her reaction when she thought Oliver was only giving up the hood. Felicity almost had Oliver convinced then and she didn’t even know what they were really arguing about.

Felicity would have convinced Oliver to forego this lunacy because he doesn’t want to make this sacrifice. Oliver wants to go home, make dinner for his family, play a video game with his son, put William to bed, and then make love to his wife. Oliver doesn’t want to go to prison. He’s holding on by a tether. One slight push in the other direction and his will would break. It’s not difficult for Felicity to change Oliver’s mind because he wants her to change his mind.

That doesn’t make what Oliver did okay. He absolutely should have discussed his plan with Felicity prior to making a deal with Watson. Felicity would have argued passionately against it and Oliver would have either listened to her (likely) or did it anyway (less likely, but he can be a stubborn mule, so possible). 

However, my husband doesn’t get a free pass to lie to me simply because he knows I am going to disagree. That’s not how marriage works. This is Felicity’s life too and Oliver made a monumental decision for her rather than with her. I simply understand why Oliver did it. Both things can be true at once.

I suppose my Buffy/Angel history is coloring my opinion. 

Angel became human once, but chose to become a vampire again by the end of the episode. I’m still mad at him over it and it’s been 20 years.

Angel sacrificed the one thing he always wanted, a happy and human life with Buffy, to save her life and the lives of other. 

Unfortunately, Angel didn’t discuss the decision with Buffy beforehand. He made a life altering choice for her rather than with her. Why? Because Angel knew Buffy would change his mind. Where Whedon succeeds is where Guggenheim fails. ANGEL TELLS BUFFY THAT.

“I couldn’t do it if I woke up with you one more morning.” (Angel, “I Will Remember You”)

See? It’s so simple. 

One line explaining a character’s thinking rather than relying on an interview post airing to explain it. It doesn’t mean Buffy shouldn’t have a say, but it made Angel’s choices a lot clearer. At the very least, Oliver needed to explain why he didn’t discuss prison with her. Oliver needed to say he feared Felicity would change his mind. We needed a line like, “I couldn’t do it if I woke up with you one more morning.” Hell, just plagiarizes it. 

Despite Stephen’s assertions this was the most emotional scene ever between Oliver and Felicity, I didn’t feel it. 

Maybe it was the way the scene was shot. Felicity kneeling, rather than sitting across the table and holding Oliver’s hand, felt awkward. Stephen Amell tends to like the scenes where he’s allowed to emote more. The airplane scene in 3x20 is a great example of this. I thought Emily and Stephen’s acting was wonderful, but something took me out of it.  My issue was probably with the dialogue – not with what was said, but what wasn’t.

My frustration with Marc and Wendy’s writing is there’s often things left unsaid. We are so close to the characters saying what needs to be said, but ultimately they fall short. I needed Oliver and Felicity to have their “I Will Remember You” fight, but the scene didn’t even come close. 

Maybe they will pick up this fight/discussion when Arrow premieres in Season 7, but I believe the time for Felicity to voice her anger over Oliver’s decision was in 6x23. Arrow is constantly putting Olicity discussions on hold because of storyline carryover/cliffhanger shenanigans and it gets frustrating. It seems odd for Felicity to say six months later, “Hey remember that time you made a life altering decision for me, went to prison for life, and left me alone to raise our son? That sucked.” But that’s Arrow for you.

I don’t view this lie in the same lens as the lie about William.

I know I know, but I have reasons. Samantha gave Oliver an ultimatum and I wouldn’t have much respect for the man if he walked out on his child. 

However, there was something selfish in Oliver’s lie to Felicity. He was able to spend time with his son and maintain his relationship with his fiancé without dealing with any consequences. The lie allowed Oliver to have his cake and eat it too.

There is no cake here.  There isn’t even a can of frosting. 

Source: olivergifs

Oliver is giving up everything and everyone he’s ever loved. The very definition of selfless is putting the needs and wishes of other’s above one’s own. The William lie exposed trust issues, Oliver’s guilt over Robert Queen’s death, his never ending need to self destruct, and a refusal to let Felicity all the way in. I don’t see any of that present now. This is good because it would unravel all the hard work Oliver did in Season 5, particularly 5x20.  

This isn’t about trust, or being afraid of the darkest parts of himself, or self destruction, or refusing to let Felicity all the way in, or unworthiness. This decision is 100% about falling on the sword and protecting those he loves. Okay, let’s agree it’s 90% about falling on the sword and protecting others. The other 10% is Oliver “Everything Is Always My Fault Even Though It Really Isn’t” Queen. Guilt is absolutely playing a role in Oliver’s decision.

Oliver: I had to look at the way I’ve been doing things. It’s not working. I lost my city. I lost my team. There’s a penance for that. 

What’s so sad is Oliver truly did nothing wrong. What happened with the city and the team was mostly out of his control. His team abandoned Oliver primarily because they all regressed to a toddler like state and threw a never ending tantrum. Oliver offered apologies long ago that were refused. The newbies, and Diggle, chose to leave and that choice was outside Oliver’s control. 

But Oliver always looks inward rather than place the blame on others. He’s much more comfortable holding himself accountable than he is holding others to the same standard. This is why Oliver is more than a hero. He’s a martyr.

I do not believe Oliver is hitting another self destruct button on his life like when he slept with Sara and brought her on the Queen’s Gambit or when he lied to Felicity about William. The darker parts of Oliver’s soul are not driving his decision - his light is. Oliver’s protectiveness, self sacrificing, and honor led him here. He’s not running from who he is. Oliver is being the very best version of himself. This is what a hero looks like.

Source:  arrowdaily

But that doesn’t make it any easier on Felicity. 

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

I went back and reread some of my 5x20 review and landed on this:

If Felicity gave it time, if she let things continue the way they were, then she’d fall right back into his arms. It’s so easy to love him. It’s so easy to lose herself in him. Felicity couldn’t do that because she didn’t want to wake up twenty years later, with her marriage crumbling around her, because Oliver Queen abandoned her again to another lie or another choice that didn’t include her. Felicity doesn’t want to become a ghost in her own life.

But isn’t that exactly what happened? Didn’t Oliver abandon Felicity to another lie, another choice, that didn’t include her? Didn’t he leave Felicity on an island all over again? 

Yes, that’s exactly what happened. I expect Felicity will express some anger towards Oliver when Season 7 premieres. She sure as hell is entitled to it.

However, it won’t be a deal breaker like it was in Season 4. Felicity isn’t walking away this time because she knows exactly what she walked into with this marriage. We already know Felicity’s stance because she told us or, that is, she told William in 6x11.

This is probably the most important monologue of Season 6. Even though Felicity is talking about Oliver the scene isn’t really about him. This scene is about how Felicity views loving Oliver, marriage, and making peace with the life they’ve chosen. 

Felicity knows, without equivocation, what it means to be married to a hero. The fear of losing Oliver is what kept Felicity from marrying him. 

She thought if they could just keep the status quo and not rock the boat then she would never have to face losing him again. And Felicity has discovered there’s many ways to lose Oliver Queen. 

However, she remembered life is precious. 

Felicity would rather live knowing everything can be taken from her in an instant, while holding on to Oliver, rather than live life without him.  

But Felicity recognizes Oliver’s imperfections. 

He’s made many mistakes that have torn their relationship apart. Oliver swore he would never lie to Felicity again and yet… here we are.

Felicity predicted this day in her break up with Oliver and Felicity Smoak is never wrong. Back then it was a knowledge Felicity couldn’t live with. It’s the reason she walked. She couldn’t be married to a man who at any point would leave her on an island. She couldn’t be married to a man who would exclude her from decisions. She couldn’t be married to a man who would lie to her.

Or can she?

The truth is we all have pieces of ourselves that are hardwired a certain way. We all have imperfections that creep up no matter how hard we work on them. Those imperfections rear their ugly heads in our relationships and, for better or worse, we argue again and again over them with our partners.  There is no perfect human being. Love is about dealing with the bad in our partner as much as it is about loving our partner for all the good.

For all of Oliver’s faults, and there are many, what remains hardwired is his protectiveness. Oliver Queen loves deeply and there are no limits to the lengths he will go to protect those he loves. Oliver will make sure that he is the one to fall on the sword because there have been too many times he’s watched loved ones fall before him.

I joked in my 6x22 review it was almost as if Oliver and Felicity were competing over who gets to die for who. This is a competition Oliver will always win. He will lie, cheat, beg, borrow, steal and, yes, even kill to ensure Felicity’s safety. There is no line Oliver won’t cross. 

Felicity danced with her darkness in Season 5, but she still didn’t come close to Oliver and that’s the way he’s determined to keep it. He will sacrifice his light to save hers. The only thing more unbearable than going to prison is Felicity going to prison. Oliver doesn’t fear his own death, but the deaths of those he loves. This is what will always drive him. There is no changing this. This is simply who Oliver Queen is.

What happened just before Oliver went to Agent Watson? Felicity almost suffocated from smoke inhalation. Oliver was carrying her lifeless body in his arms. She was prepared to die to stop Diaz and almost did. So, there are no limits to what Oliver had to do to make sure that didn’t happen again. And yes that includes lying.

Does it make lying okay? NO OF COURSE NOT.

I’m saying this is an imperfection in Oliver. He has a God complex. All heroes do. 

Felicity told Oliver post coital in 5x20 if she could understand why he lied then maybe she could find her way back to him. Felicity understands why Oliver lied then and she understands why Oliver lied now. 

He is imperfect, but it comes from a pure place. His choices are not always good, but his intentions are. Oliver Queen is an imperfect heart trying to love perfectly.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Felicity knew there would come a day where Oliver would sacrifice it all for the greater good because that’s what this life requires. That’s what it means to be married to a hero. Oliver Queen is selfless. 

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

That selflessness means sacrifice for Felicity too. It means there will be times she is alone on an island. Felicity said I do anyway because an imperfect life with Oliver Queen is better than a life without him. Oliver’s selflessness is what Felicity loves most about her husband… and what she hates most.

Derek: I promised that I’d love you –

Meredith: Even when you hate me.

Derek: Even when I hate you. (Grey’s Anatomy, 8x03)

Felicity allows her husband to be who he is. She loves Oliver for who he is and in spite of who he is. She shares this man with the city he’s sworn to protect. Felicity understands Oliver will never entirely belong to her or the life they’ve built together as long as he’s Green Arrow. The mission will always come first.

But Felicity chose this life and Oliver Queen.  She will go into witness protection, with her son, and face this island. She won’t be entirely alone. Felicity will have William and he will have her, but that’s a cold comfort to what lays before her – a life without Oliver.  

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

This will be a long, dark, lonely and painful journey for Felicity. A journey she wasn’t given a say in. As angry as Felicity will be at Oliver, and she should let him have it, she will also understand why because she would do the same. Felicity would do anything to protect her family and city. Her sacrifices are equally selfless as Oliver’s. It’s why they are a perfect match. They are both heroes.

Source: gothsmoak and  olivergifs

Quentin Lance, Black Siren and Oliver Queen

Quentin finally dies for his fake daughter due to his overwhelming guilt over his real daughter’s death. A few therapy visits would have helped immensely and would have been far less costly Q, but go off I guess. 

Arrow failed to write any meaningful storylines post L*urel’s death for Quentin. I had hope when he dated Mama Smoak, but that went nowhere. He was reduced to a prop for Bl*ck S*ren this season and I’d rather see him gone than used like that.

Arrow keeps flip flopping back and forth between Bl*ck S*ren being Quentin’s daughter to Bl*ck S*ren not being Quentin’s daughter so much I have to take migraine pills. 

Sadly, the flip flop is all they have with the character. This push/pull with the redemption arc is all Bl*ck S*ren has going for her. If they settle on evil then it renders Quentin’s sacrifice pointless. If they settle on good then the writers are back in their LL writing box and I firmly believe they’d rather eat their young than go back there. 

So we flip flop. Sometimes Bl*ck S*ren is acknowledged as Quentin’s daughter. Sometimes the other characters go out of their way to point out Bl*ck S*ren is NOT his daughter. Sigh. I just don’t care anymore.

Let’s be clear that BS is an absolute waste of character space regardless. 

Source: katie-mcgraths

The entire reason Felicity and William are going into witness protection is because she decided to use her Canary Cry against Diaz for the first time all season and at exactly the wrong moment. 

Did BS really believe the fall off the roof would kill Diaz? It looked like she pushed him off a waterslide. I guess we can add stupid to the long list of unpleasant characteristics. 

The only upside of that scene was seeing Oliver’s crazy angry eyes. I’m gonna abuse this gif.

Source: katie-mcgraths

He wanted to throw her off the building right along with Diaz. Have at it, big boy. God bless.

Before Quentin runs off to save Evil L*urel, he and Oliver reminisces about how long they’ve known each other and how far their relationship has come. Yup, we get it Arrow. Quentin is going to die. No need to hang a neon sign.

Quentin not so casually mentions his pacemaker to Oliver (Ha! Remember that 2x23-3x01 plot line that was never spoken of again until now?!), so Felicity is able to track Quentin’s and thereby zero in on Diaz. It’s one of the few times Quentin’s crazy actually made sense and proved useful. Way to out on a high note Captain.

Unfortunately, he’s a moron because he jumps in front of the bullet meant for Evil L*urel. He just stayed put and BS moved a little to the right we would have a mortal wound. A girl can dream.

Quentin’s willingness to put it all on the line for his fake daughter leads to a very nice goodbye scene with Oliver. 

Source: @olivergifs​

Both Stephen Amell and Paul Blackthorne brought their A game. Oliver tells Quentin he’s like a father to him and it made me feel all the things. Yup, I was a sobbing mess.

See? Oliver didn’t need to marry LL for this father/son relationship to develop between these two men. 

That road began in 1x23 when Felicity defended The Hood to Quentin and he began to see the vigilante in a different light. Oliver and Quentin managed to carve out a relationship that had absolutely nothing to do with L*urel and it’s one of the series best arcs.  

All Oliver Queen ever wanted was to earn Quentin’s forgiveness and respect. It was a long, difficult and painful road, but they eventually arrived at a place Oliver never dreamed possible. 

Not only did Quentin forgive and respect Oliver, he loved him like a son. 

It’s easy to forget Oliver Queen is an orphan. Quentin was Oliver’s foster father in more ways than one. Everything Oliver said to Quentin was true. One of the primary reasons Oliver is a good father to William is because he had Quentin Lance as an example. One of the reasons Oliver is the man he is today is because Quentin Lance was in his life.

So this is goodbye Quentin. 

I believe it was time to let the character go, but I will miss his snarky yet on point remarks about the ridiculousness of Arrow and his sage wisdom. 

I’m sorry Arrow didn’t give Paul Blackthorne more to do because he is an acting rock star who had the power to make me cry whenever he felt like it. We’ll miss you Paul, but I am excited to see what he does next.

Source:  sirenfrost

One thing I am super ticked off about is Sara didn’t get a goodbye scene with her father, ya know, his ACTUAL DAUGHTER.  The real one who is alive and standing in the hallway!!!!!

What was the point of having Caity Lotz on the show if she didn’t get a scene with Paul Blackthorne? I’m a big Sara/LL fan, but that little chat with BS in the hallway could happen anytime. Rene rated a goodbye scene with Lance, but nope, not his daughter. Honestly, this show makes absolutely no sense sometimes.

John Diggle

Oliver makes up a second Green Arrow suit (I want to know who makes those. I feel like this is an important character we are not meeting) and offers it to Diggle during his farewell tour. Diggle turns it down because their “disagreement was never about the uniform.” 

This is true. It was about Diggle’s mid life crisis.

Diggle: I really thought I wanted this mantle. It means something. You’ve made it mean something. When our city looks at it – it gives them hope Oliver. It would be diminished if there was more than one.

So now Diggle doesn’t want to be Green Arrow? Or he wants to be Green Arrow if he’s the only one? My head hurts. Can we just move on from this ridiculous storyline? 

Put on the Spartan suit Diggle and come home. As far as the Green Arrow giving hope to the city – we are talking about the same city prosecuting Oliver right? The sentiment is nice, but Diggle doesn’t exactly have his finger on the pulse on the will of the people.

Oliver became almost everything Diggle ever asked him to be. He was a husband, father, mayor and vigilante all at once. Oliver becoming the best version of himself caused Diggle to spiral. If John is not counseling Oliver on how to beat back his demons then where does that leave him? John Diggle’s mission was Oliver Queen, but the student became the teacher this season and John couldn’t handle it. Diggle lost his way when Oliver found his. He no longer knew what his purpose was. Diggle couldn’t see that even though Oliver may need him differently it doesn’t mean he needs John any less.

Hopefully, Oliver selflessly going to prison for everyone on the team and securing them immunity, will remind Diggle who Oliver Queen is. He is a man worthy of John’s respect, admiration, friendship and love. Prison will present a huge emotional challenge to Oliver and he’ll need Diggle’s guidance more than ever.

However, when Oliver emerges from the darkness of prison and finds his way back to the light of heroism, I hope John emerges from dark as well. Hopefully, John is able to move past his mid life crisis and find a purpose beyond Oliver Queen. Maybe Diggle will realize being Spartan is plenty of purpose. Maybe he’ll discover something new like Felicity did with her company. I want Diggle to find whatever he’s searching for because Oliver Queen casts a long shadow. Oliver’s light should illuminate the man Diggle helped mold rather than blind him. Diggle will see Oliver clearly again when he sees himself clearly again.

The Newbies

Does anyone understand why Oliver is apologizing so much? What in the sweet mother of freaking Moses did he do that requires this much apologizing? 

Source:olivergifs

Dinah and Rene finally cough up a sort of apology and admit to admiring Oliver, but only after he apologies to them for what feels like the tenth time. Why did it take so long to get here? The simple answer is a 23 episode season and there couldn’t be “peace” until the final episode. But there is very little difference between Oliver’s apology in 6x10 to his apology now.

The newbies acted like entitled, whiny and violent brats for the better part of the season. Suddenly flipping the off switch to their petulant behavior and offering Oliver a couple measly compliments doesn’t get it done for me. 

There wasn’t even a conversation with Curtis, which can be viewed one of two ways. 1) He’s not a blip on Oliver Queen’s radar screen and the character doesn’t rate a conversation or 2) The writers are blind to Curtis’ abhorrent behavior and think he has nothing to apologize for which is INSANITY.

These people do not deserve Oliver Queen’s selflessness, but he didn’t do it because they deserved it. Oliver did it because the newbies needed protection. It says far more about Oliver’s character than it does theirs.  

My sincerest hope is they feel an extreme amount of guilt and realize what jackasses they are. Their finger pointing, fits, and fighting all contributed to Oliver ending up in jail. Rene’s betrayal is the primary reason the FBI zeroed in on Oliver in the first place. The newbies have a massive uphill climb to redemption and I remain skeptical the damage done to the characters can be repaired. Time will tell.

Stray Thoughts

Oliver giving up his happy life with Felicity and William, a life without the mask, just sets up his endgame even more (or what I think will be his endgame).

I’m hoping there’s more to this “deal” Oliver made with Watson. Maybe some undercover work like my buddy @callistawolf suggested.

Anatoly’s excuse for missing the raid is Big Belly Burger. That is all kinds of awesome. Never change Anatoly.

Longbow hunters mention! Hello Season 7 villains!

Quentin should list L*urel as “Evil L*urel” in his phone to help him tell the difference BECAUSE THERE IS A FREAKING DIFFERENCE.

“Or L*urel dies a second time.” YOU CAN ONLY DIE ONCE YOU TWATWAFFLES. THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST DEATH FOR THIS L*UREL BECAUSE SHE IS A DIFFERENT L*UREL.

“I gotta say they are a lot easier to operate when they aren’t being hacked.” I love this perfect cup of fruit salad.

Rene did make me cry with that goodbye call to his kid.

How stupid are you FBI agent? You don’t stand there and look at the fire as it comes blazing toward you. WE CALLED THESE GUYS FOR HELP? WHY????

“From what Oliver tells me she’s not even your daughter.” Don’t you love how on Oliver’s “I was wrong about everything” tour he sticks to “BS is not L*urel and she is evil.”  Awesomesauce.

“Would you be taking this risk with our L*urel or was this the kind of risk that got her killed in the first place?” Quentin needs to rewatch Season 4 because it was time for LL to go.

Oliver stops Diaz with a few measly punches and IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED WEEKS AGO.

The FBI didn’t help very much. Oliver and Felicity figured out a way to get the list of all Diaz’s city officials. Watson brought some man power to the raid on the precinct, which Oliver could have gotten from the many superhero shows he’s launched. Furthermore, I thought the whole point to expanding the team was so that Oliver had help. So, why are these dingbat newbies around if they can’t take down a couple cops?

Sara & BS scene only bolstered my belief that BS belongs on Legends of Tomorrow. 

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 6x23 gifs credited.

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[bluetinge]

Human ability and helplessness in fantasy/SF media

    Whenever I read a book or watch a TV series about beings with otherworldly abilities, I’m usually the one chanting for Team Human. I think this is probably a pretty normal reaction--we are, as far as I am aware, all humans after all-- and yet humankind has a tendency to be somewhat powerless in such media. In Dr. Who, the vast majority of the time it is the super-powerful Doctor who saves the day, not his helpless human sidekick. In Homestuck, the kids may be powerful and genetically human, but they are also received their powers by being “chosen ones” and, paradoxically, are not even borne of the same human race that inhabits (and completely fails to protect) Earth. There are hundreds of examples of fantasy/sf that, in varying degrees, prop up their heroes and villains as either nonhuman or human-but-special, and this media tends to portray a grand struggle between the Chosen Ones that relegates ordinary humans to the role of helpless spectators, bystanders, and victims. This trope is so common I have to wonder if we humans have some inferiority complex that sees us so quick to condemn ourselves to irrelevancy in the grand scheme of things.

       Encountering media that disobeys this trope, and gives run-of-the-mill humanity a little bit of agency, is usually a nice breath of fresh air. In largely nonhuman- or augmented human-dominated works of fiction, I instinctively cheer for any human characters that happen to be on the periphery of meaningful plot momentum-- I was happy to turn my criticisms of U.S. government agencies away and urgently cheer for Nick Fury in the recent Captain Marvel, for example. And yet, I have recently found myself wishing for the opposite--yearning for the 100% all-natural human brothers of Sam and Dean to have a little more power, a supernatural kick, to give them an edge over both the metaphysical malevolents that haunt their world, as well as the various humans of authority that inhabit this world and enable these evil beings with their skepticism and sense of superiority.

    I should mention, first and foremost, that I am very late to the Supernatural fandom train-- I just started watching a few weeks ago, and I’m only about halfway through Season 1 at the moment. I should also mention that there are plenty of hints that Sam, in particular, is no ordinary human being, and I am certain later seasons have already invalidated a great deal of what I am writing about here. It doesn't change the fact, however, that at present, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that Sam and Dean need to be a little more... powerful than those around them. 

    To start with, there is the obvious problem that in order to accomplish much of anything, Sam and Dean need to lie and make vague appeals to authority in order to make any progress whatsoever in the episode. These attempts frequently don’t work, which is appreciated by the rational part of my brain and frustrates the part that wants a smooth narrative, but even so eventually the skeptical townsfolk around the brothers are required to act in ways that stretch my suspension of disbelief-- all for the sake of plot. If the endangered civilians around Sam and Dean accept their pleas to “just let us look around,” it annoys me-- this is not really how people act, especially towards suspicious strangers. If they reject Sam and Dean, this also annoys me-- its a fairly predictable plot setback that slows everything down. The only solution, it seems, is to give Sam and Dean some otherworldly abilities, some quick and easy way to give the brothers persuasion or stealthy access to off-limits areas (not to mention an easy way to escape their frequent stints in jail).

    This same situation presents itself again with the more violent encounters with the various ghosts and goblins that live in Sam and Dean’s world. I can accept that the brothers have a long history of studying these supernatural events and a great deal of expertise in dealing with them-- I can accept this very easily, in face. Knowing how to exorcise a ghost? Sure-- as long as the requirements of the exorcision are spelled out in advance, I am happy to believe that these two brothers are able to banish an entity far more powerful themselves. Able to successfully defend themselves against said entity? It depends strongly on the episode and the scene, but I am frequently frustrated by how these two powerless meatbags are able to stand up to ghosts that kick cars off of bridges and wendigos that have hunted men for a century, and nothing takes me out of a piece of media more than catching a glimpse of impenetrable plot armor. Naturally, my first thought is these boys need more than wits and a rifle that fails to fire half the time--they need some supernatural chops that can stand up to the forces of darkness.

    I don’t believe, however, that this is the only solution to the problem. We have enough media that shows super-powered humans and aliens as the only ones able to defend the people of Earth-- and while giving these two a magical weapon, or rituals of power might enhance the two while retaining their fundamental humanity, I am more interested in another solution. Can all-natural human heroes stand up to forces of darkness, and make waves through their fellow mundanes, without the need to resort to spells? I believe they can.

    Its a question of narrative framing. How much of what I discussed above was intentional? Good stories require conflict and high stakes, after all--and every plot element I find “frustrating” might be someone else’s “satisfying.” There is no way to please everyone, but I might be more willing to accept knowledge and expertise as appropriate weapons if, well, the knowledge seemed more expansive and the skills, more powerful. I especially am interested in improving the presentation of Sam and Dean’s expertise in dealing with these things-- sure, they should be struggling, but at the same time a little glorification could go a long way. Part of the problem seems to be that there is a disconnect between the expertise talked up by the show, through our background knowledge of Sam and Dean’s lives spent training to deal with any situation, and the reality shown to us on the screen. Could a little bit more fight choreography and attention to detail be enough to bump up these encounters from “barely making it” to “Sam and Dean have a real shot?” What about the attitudes of the characters themselves, which seem to switch from confident to completely-not-in-control as the stakes raise? At a certain point, I start describing a show which is not Supernatural anymore, but thats a show which I might be more enamored by.

    The question of the brother’s conflicts with the average folk around them is somewhat more difficult to solve, but can also be looked at as narrative framing. It is ultimately the decision of the writers to include these subplots, which I find tedious but others might find integral. Could use of plot device solve these problems before they begin? If the helpless victims contact the brothers, instead of the other way around, the skepticism issue is sidestepped entirely. If this is too much, liberal use of victim awareness can still be used to divert it (I’m talking having the victim see something they cannot explain, which has been done in the show a few times with great results).

    Ultimately, it is all a question of what kind of show the writers want to write, and I want to consume. I have a desire for more ordinary human agency, but a tighter suspension of disbelief and a frustration with certain kinds of plots. And despite my initial impulse with regards to Supernatural, I don’t think Sam and Dean need supernatural powers--all the show needs is a willingness to let their human powers shine.

[be-dazzled]

She’s In Your Court Gray Fullbuster, Juvia Lockser FFnet link: click here Tumblr: all chapter + misc Genre: Multi-chap, Romance, Comedy Rating: M for sensitive language

Summary: Gray Fullbuster is a player both in love and in life. He plays Professional Basketball and is being groomed to be in line with Basketball Legends Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Kobe Bryant and Stephen Curry. There’s just one problem, Gray Fullbuster is a play-ah. His life is a giant mess of crazy parties, waking up with random women and waking up in random women’s apartments. Just living the life.

 The opinion of the public on him is waning. To save the million-dollar endorsements in the verge of disappearing, Gray needs to change his image. Therefore, Gray Fullbuster, Fiore Knight’s Team Captain and Most Valuable Player, will be in the next season of “My Star Can Dance”.

 There’s another problem: it seems like his star isn’t that bright since his partner, one of Fiore’s prominent ballerinas, doesn’t know him? His billboard is hanging in front of her dancing school! And it was a good billboard since all he was wearing was his six-pack and an Aztec bandana. How come she didn’t notice?

And you play it coy, But it's kinda cute. Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do. Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true. Cause you can see it when I look at you.

- Everything, Michael Buble

 Juvia Lockser wondered what she had ever done wrong to deserve getting stuck with a five-year-old goofball trapped in a hot basketball star's body. The times she tried to make a conversation, Gray would twist her words and insist that she liked him, which was obviously not the case. Okay, maybe. Maybe, she liked him a little bit. Also, she liked his body a little bit.

 “Levy? Am I cursed?”

 Juvia fixed her hair in front of the full body mirror. She pulled her blue locks into a bun, leaving a few baby strands astray.

 “What do you mean?”

 Levy emerged behind the counter, dropping a stack of magazine on top the marble counter. The young assistant huffed. A smoke of dust irritated her sensitive nose.

 “Why do I have to be paired up with that guy?”

 “You mean, Mr. Gray?”

 My Star Can Dance’s assistant writer stacked the magazines neatly on one side and took another set from below the counter.

 “Don’t call him that.”

 “Why not?”

 Juvia turned away from the mirror and walked toward the young writer.

 “It reminds me of that book.”

 “Which book? Oh!”

 Levy blushed at the realization. Both Juvia and she read that book, not together though.

 “Didn’t you like Christian Grey?”

 “Don’t remind me.”

 Juvia rolled her eyes. Her mind wandered over the Fifty Shades trilogy she kept in her book case. That one made her reach for ice. The room’s temperature shot up to a hundred. The steamy scenes from the book and the movie played in her mind in vivid images.

 “Eh, a-a-anyway. Why was I even paired up with him? Is there no one else?”

 “I honestly don’t know.”

 Juvia grabbed Levy’s shoulders and spun the surprised Shrimp to face her. She wanted to look into her friend’s eyes to see if she was lying. Levy McGarden was telling the truth.

 Juvia sighed in defeat and let go of the surprised, and honestly a little scared, Levy.

 “Is it too late to change partners?”

 “Probably…”

 Juvia faced her with hopeful eyes. She would jump at the opportunity of getting rid of that Hoopster.

 But Levy intentionally kept the answer hanging.

 “No.” she finished.

 Levy let out a hearty laugh. It wasn’t everyday she could tease the woman who kept calling her Shrimp in High School. Revenge of the Shorties.

 Juvia glared at the woman. She was enjoying Juvia’s misfortune too much.

 “Why are you so against it? When I found out you were going to be paired up with Mr. Gray, I was so excited for you I screamed at my head writer!”

 Juvia could see Levy’s frustration. Well, she ought to feel lucky, shouldn’t she? Considering that… Juvia wondered for a second. Should she tell Levy the truth?

 “Well…”

 “I even remember when we were in High School, we skipped class just to mmmnn…”

 Shrimp’s next words were shut by Juvia’a quick hand.

 “Don’t say it out loud!”

 “What shouldn’t she say out loud?”

 The two women jumped in surprise. None of them heard Hoopsters footsteps. Gray was never that discreet. He made sure his presence was felt, one way or another. So, how did he manage to enter the practice room without detection?

 “Mmmnnnmm.”

 Juvia was horrified. Did Hoopster hear anything? And if he did, to what extent? The surprised, and a little anxious, bluenette was so preoccupied with these questions that she did not feel her hand suffocating one show writer.

 “Geez, woman. Release the poor girl.”

 Juvia only realized she was taking Levy hostage when Gray pointed it out. She immediately retrieved her hand that covered the writer’s mouth and apologized.

 “Was that a girl-on-girl thing you guys liked to do privately?”

 Gray should be thankful, Juvia thought. He should be thankful that there wasn’t anything within her reach. Otherwise, the ballerina would have grabbed the nearest thing, anything, to throw at the cheeky pervert.

 The day of the preshow was drawing near and Juvia was still not confident about their routine. Bunhead was thankful that the self-proclaimed basketball superstar agreed to drive down her studio for practice, even on weekends. She politely asked Levy if she could keep that a secret from the show and the crew members for the time being. Their presence made it hard for her and Gray to concentrate.

 “You just wanted to be alone with Mr. Gray.” Levy teased which Juvia didn’t seem to hear.

 All her attention was focused on one thing – impressing her idol. Nothing else mattered.

 Gray was all excited and giddy when he arrived at Juvia’s dance studio. Finally, he could have Bunhead all to himself. No cameras, no audience, just the two of them. It was time to put on the charms and the moves.

 Your savior has finally arrived! Was what Gray wanted to announce, kicking the door open. But he heard two people talking inside the practice room. He recognized the voices belonging to Juvia and Levy. He felt a pang of disappointment. So, they were not alone.

 Gray recovered from the dismay when he heard the two talking about him. He pressed his ear against the door to hear more. He did not like how they talked about him anymore like he was some kind of plague Juvia would rather avoid.

 Something sparked his interest though, when he heard Levy say something about skipping class in High School. He was hogging the door already when silence came and Juvia yelled at the other woman thereafter.

 What shouldn’t she say out loud?

 “Hello, Mr. Gray.”

 Being alone with Bunhead? It was too good to be true.

 “Hello, Levy.”

 “Good, you’re here.”

 Juvia walked past Shrimp, sidestepping Levy. She acted so casually like she was not suffocating the other woman earlier.

 “What? Afraid you can’t trust yourself to be alone with me?”

 Juvia knew exactly what he meant. She glanced at the innocent buffer she asked the previous night. Levy was more than happy to come. Better than waiting for death a.ka. Levy’s Head-Writer to call. Bunhead was sure Gray would seize the opportunity to try something funny. She just did not trust the conceited Hoopster to be alone with her. If Juvia was being honest, she couldn’t trust herself around him too.

 “Afraid I can’t trust myself not to kick your balls if no one is here to stop me? Yes.”

 How did Juvia maintain a straight face when she said that? She needed to impress Fiore’s Prima Ballerina, Aquarius. That’s it.

 “Get ready, we’ll start in five minutes.”

 Wow, not even a good morning?

 Juvia disappeared behind a divider. Since Gray was already in his practice clothes, he decided that the best use of his five minutes was to interrogate the third wheel about earlier.

 “So, Levy...”

 As much as he did not appreciate Levy’s presence, Gray was not rude enough to send her away. But he stumbled upon fascinating information and it appeared that Levy held the key to open it. Thus, Gray walked over to the counter where the writer stood behind.

 “What were you guys talking about?”

 “Nothing, Mr. Gray.”

 Levy was a bad liar. It showed on her face when she tried. So, she trained her evasive eyes at the flower painting on the wall behind Gray, not wanting them to give her away.

 “Would you like some water?” She beamed at him, obviously trying to change the subject.

 But Gray would not go down without putting up a fight. He ignored her offer and leaned over the counter, standing face to face with the fidgety Levy, their faces just inches away.

 “Why did you guys skip class in High School?”

 Gray has realized that women tend to become more honest when he looked straight into their eyes; like he was some kind of truth serum.

 But something more interesting caught his attention. He easily recognized the GQ front cover photo sticking out the stack of Juvia's Dance Magazine collection. He pulled it out and beamed. How could he not recognize it when he had a large portrait of that sexy GQ photo hanging in his bedroom?

 The curious cat spread the stack on top of the counter. His smile grew wider with every discovery. Juvia kept a fair share of his sport and health-related magazine covers. Maybe, even all of them.

 “If you’re done interrogating Levy, shall we start?”

 The ballerina’s approaching light steps painted a sly smile on Gray’s face – one that reminded her of the cat in Alice in Wonderland.

 “So…”

 Gray raised a number of magazines in Juvia’s face, intimidating her into admitting to the truth. What a stroke of luck! Gray was just asking for some recognition. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that that hostile little thing was actually a fan. Gray finally succeeded.

 “Th-that’s not mine!”

 Almost.

 But Gray wouldn’t buy it. Her guilty blue eyes, and the overwhelming evidence in his hand, said otherwise.

 “You know, there’s nothing wrong with being my fan.”

 He dangled the evidence in front of Bunhead – taunting her. The number of copies was overwhelming. Some even dated back from when he was just starting making a name for himself. The magazines and their variety were definitely in the level of a collector’s item.

 Juvia, however, did not take the bait.

 “They’re probably Mary’s. She’s a fan.”

 “Mary only started here a year ago, Juvs. These looked like they were here for quite some time.”

 Juvia shot daggers at the traitor.

 Really, Levy? Whose side are you on?

 “Then, maybe, my mother’s. So, can we start now, Sherlock?”

 The insult in the end only grazed Gray's inflated ego. How could it be Olivia when the poor woman could not even remember him even if his giant billboard stared her in the face? Before he can retort back, Juvia was already at the center of the room, eager to start the practice. And drop the subject.

 Gray replaced the evidence on the desk, retreating for now. He threw a glance at the writer behind the counter. She avoided his eyes almost immediately. Guilty as charged.

 Gray put two in two together. This discovery was a gold mine: he was not going to let this go. The athlete-celebrity lit his imaginary cigarette in his mind. Oh, Sherlock was going to get to the bottom of this.

 Gray moved behind Juvia's slender figure, falling on their opening position. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his open palms flat on her torso. When Juvia leaned her head back against his athletic shoulder, following the choreography, the raven-haired could not help but take in the scent of her fresh perfume – a combination of sweet and sexy and evasive.

 Gray was supposed to dip his head against the ballerina’s neck but his warm, soft lips brushing lightly against it ruined Juvia's concentration. So, she decided against it, much to her partner’s dismay. They settled with Hoopster just looking straight ahead.

 “Why can’t you just admit it?”

 At the first drop of the beat, Juvia lowered her body, sliding against Gray’s, and stopped midway. Both her open palms rested on the athlete’s strong hips for support. She extended her right foot forward, with toes pointing sharply outwards, and drew an arc on the floor before pulling it back to its original position.

 “Admit what?”

 The bluenette’s skinny arms snaked around Gray’s neck and her slender fingers interlocked behind it. Her back was still at him. Both her feet lightly brushed against the carpet when Hoopster spun Juvia once. She finished the sequence with her left leg held in a powerful en pointe.

 “That you do know me.”

 “I never said I didn't.”

 “But that time…”

 “Will you drop it and concentrate on the dance?”

 Juvia missed a step in a turn and collided against the Hoopster. Something she has been getting really good at lately.

 “I won’t stop until you admit.”

 The bluenette fell on her opening position with her left foot – the working foot – pointed in front of the other with a space between them. She stepped and put all her weight on her working foot and ended her first turn with a passé by lifting her toe up and resting it on the side of her knee. She was too busy perfecting her pique turns to listen to Hoospter.

 But Gray was not a quitter.

 “Until you admit that you are a…”

 Second pique turn.

 Hoopster tailed the ballerina as she repeated the traveling turning step in a diagonal.

 “Big.”

 Third pique turn.

 “Fat.”

 Juvia got a little distracted and missed her landing in the final sequence. She was about to make contact with the floor when Gray’s agile reflexes kicked in and caught her.

 “Fan.”

 Juvia blinked at Hoopster. Blinked. Blinked again. She waited for him to put a stop in their awkward position but Gray had no intention in doing so. Not until he got the ballerina to admit to his suspicions.

 “Will you stop it and just pull me up?”

 “Not until you say it.”

 Juvia smiled at him but her eyes promised danger.

 “Pull me up or I’ll kick your balls.”

 Gray immediately complied. He wouldn’t dare find out if that woman was kidding or not.

The date of the preshow came fast. It was a close-door event held at the Magnolia Amphitheater. The signed judges for the show would watch and comment on the contestants’ performance before they go live. Some sort of a culminating activity in a dance camp.  

 Juvia’s heart was racing. Not because she was nervous about the dance nor to dancing before an audience. She was already used to auditions and live performances. No. The reason why Juvia has been waiting in bated breath was because in any moment she would be standing face to face with her childhood dance hero, Fiore’s Prima Ballerina – Aquarius.

 She was so excited she didn’t get any shuteye the night before.

 Juvia paced Gray’s dressing room, sitting and doing nothing would not help her calm down.

 “Juvia, you are going to bore holes on the floor if you keep doing that.”

 Blue eyes glared at the man in front of the vanity mirror having his make-up taken care of.

 “Wow, you have really good skin, Mr. Gray.”

 The make-up artist returned the sponge and foundation in her bag, deciding that with Gray’s flawless skin loose powder would do the trick. It was like a woman’s!

 “Thanks, Laki. The secret is actually staying hydrated. I also take good care of my skin.”

 “It really shows!”

 Juvia rolled her eyes. How could this weirdo think about beauty regimen when she was about to lose her mind just thinking about meeting Aquarius?

 A slight knock on the door interrupted the talk about moisturizers and facial creams.

 “Excuse me, Mr. Gray, Ms. Juvia. We’ll come out in ten minutes. The judges have arrived. We’d like to introduce you to them before we start.”

 Juvia’s heart somersaulted.

 “Alright. Thank you.”

 Juvia felt embarrassed forgetting her manners. It was Gray who thanked him on their behalf.

 Juvia spun to see Gray climbing down his sit. On the vanity mirror behind him, she could see that they both were wearing black. It wasn’t anything fancy since this was just the preshow. The material hugged his body so fine and perfectly. Anything looked good on Hoopster. Even just a plain shirt and tattered pants. He looked heavenly walking towards her with giant smile on his face.

 A heavy pair of hands landed on Juvia’s shoulders.

 “You ready?”

 For the dance? Yes. In meeting her childhood dance hero? Juvia’s mind went hazy for a moment.

 “Let’s go then.”

 She didn’t hear herself answer. The excitement and anxiety of meeting Aquarius rendered Juvia speechless and made her lose all functions. So, Juvia let Hoopster push her outside the door and into the lobby.

 Juvia would surely regret later how she let Hoopster take the lead and how she showed weakness today. For now, she let the Hoopster be.

 The crew members asked the contestants to form a single line. The executive producer would be introducing each of them to the three judges – an up and coming danseur, a musical directress and the woman whom made Juvia fall in love with dancing.

 Juvia’s ears throbbed at the sight of Aquarius. She looked so beautiful and surreal. The whole moment felt so surreal. Juvia’s heart hammered against her chest, hard. Was she dreaming?

 The moment of the meeting arrived. Aquarius was shaking the last hand before she extended hers to Juvia. Bunhead did not hear what the executive producer just said. Her eyes were trained at the elegant beauty standing in front of her.

 “I’ve heard a lot about you, Ms. Lockser.”

 Lockser? Was she talking to her?

 “Oh… I’m sorry. I’m a big fan, Ms. Aquarius.”

 Juvia finally managed to spit out coherent words. Thank goodness.

 “And I’m Gray Fullbuster. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

 Juvia saw Hoopster take Aquarius’ hand, flip it and kissed the back of her palm. Juvia heard the woman let out a soft laugh. So did the others. She felt a bit jealous. Fullbuster was so suave.

 “My, my. If it isn’t Fiore Knights’ miracle worker.” She was referring to Gray’s nickname in the basketball circle. “My husband’s a big fan of Fiore Knights and yours, Mr. Fullbuster.”

 “Gray will do, Ms. Aquarius.”

 See? Even Fiore’s Prima Ballerina knew him. Juvia Lockser was probably an alien for not knowing and not getting excited about his existence.

 The other two judges, a man and a woman whom Gray had no idea who they were, shook his hands too. They made small talk with him before the executive producer led them to the next couple and to the last. Mr. Producer would not want to others to think that they were playing favorites.

 The executive producer then led the group somewhere else and the contestants were told to go to the backstage.

 Juvia lingered behind, her eyes plastered at the woman with the long blue hair.

 “Wow, Ms. Aquarius looked really young for her age, doesn’t she?”

 Juvia ignored him.

 “If she wasn’t married I would definitely hit that. Oomph.”

 Juvia turned a heel and walked away so casually like she did not just elbowed Hoopster at the side.

 “Geez, are you jealous or something?”

Gray nursed the shot of pain at his side. That woman has really turned violent. Well, maybe, he deserved it. He just made a pass at her childhood heroine.

 His midnight eyes searched the waiting room for his attacker. They found the culprit standing at the opening that led to the main stage. Gray pushed himself up and walked over there.

 “I didn’t know you are such…” Gray heard she liked that BDSM book. “a sadist.” He whispered.

 “Aw!” He yelped. Now his other side throbbed in pain.

 “Geez, woman. If I won’t be able to perform tonight–” He started to make her feel guilty about her violence when Juvia grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to her eye level.

 “You make sure we make it to this preshow or else…”

 Remember, nothing pretty came after or else.

 “You know that thing you are so proud of?”

 Gray found himself unable to concentrate. Juvia was so close that he could smell her perfume. So intoxicating.

 “What thing?”

 Juvia did not answer his question. Instead, her sharp eyes drifted down south. Gray followed the trail, his eyes landing on...

 Did she mean his thing?

 “I’ll cut it.”

 Gray jerked back, instinctively crossing his arms over his favorite part of his body. The threat against his manhood sobered him quickly.

 “Y-you’re kidding, right?”

 “Do you want to find out?”

 Hell no. The woman just threatened to castrate his happiness. Of course, he wasn’t going to try to even find out if she was serious.

 Because Juvia Lockser trying to impress her idol was dead serious.

Juvia sighed. She sighed for the umpteenth time that morning.

 “Honey, if you keep doing that all day, you are going to suffocate my plants.”

 Olivia finally voiced out her concern for her plants, which she meticulously grew herself around their kitchen. And if there was something that irritated the classy woman more than the indirect threat to her beloved pots was her daughter losing her table manners.

 Juvia had both her feet up on the seat, crossed in an Indian sitting position. Her elbow was propped on the table to support her messy-bunned head. And she has not touched her breakfast.

 “What’s bothering you?” She slid in one of their expensive table chairs. “And will you put your feet down? Elbows off the table too.”

 The younger bluenette knew better not to argue so she politely complied, putting down her feet on the floor. She kept forking her sausage on the plate though.

 “Are you nervous about the live show?”

 Juvia nodded.

 Concern flashed on Olivia’s blue eyes, a shade lighter than her daughter’s.

 “Why?”

 “You’ve seen our practice, Mom. Fullbuster is an okay dancer, to say the least, but we seem to be–” Juvia searched for the right word. “– uncoordinated.” Just the perfect word.

 “He keeps stepping on my foot. Then we collide against each other every chance there is. He even keeps dropping me.”

 Juvia massaged her left arm which was still sore from slamming against the floor.

 “Plus, you heard what Aquarius had to say with our routine at the preshow.”

 Bunhead was still mortified. She came in that theater with one goal: impress Fiore’s Prima Ballerina. Aquarius did pay her compliments with her skills in dancing but she said she wanted to see more, feel more. The shame of failing her hero miserably has not eased up even three days after the preshow.

 Juvia whined at her mother when she mentioned about her weight and saying it was probably the problem. The ballet teacher maintained that she kept watching her diet and she weighed normal for her height.

 Olivia Lockser chuckled at the way her only daughter was defending her weight. She teased the young Lockser who looked all flustered. Olivia cleared her throat, trying to gain composure. When the giggles died down, the older Lockser spoke in a more serious tone.

 “Then, maybe you need to know your partner better.”

 Juvia was skeptical.

 “What’s that got to do with anything?”

 Hearing her stomach complain, Juvia finally took a bite of her sausage. All those denying and defending made her hungry.

 “I don’t think the problem is that you and Gray are uncoordinated. The problem is that you are quite hostile towards Gray.”

 Juvia was offended. Of course, she denied the accusations. But her mother insisted that she was definitely mean towards Gray.

 Was her mother taking Gray’s side?

 “Hypothetically, let’s say that I am quite... unwelcoming… towards him.” Juvia was careful in choosing her words, playing down her hostility. “How does it affect our dancing?”

 “Dancing is like making love.”

 Juvia knew spit-takes were definitely not funny in real-life. But she did one however, spitting out the chunked pieces of her sausage. She wiped her mouth quickly. Only if she could wipe the redness of her face with the napkin too.

 “I’m sorry. Wh-what?”

 Olivia chuckled at how childish her daughter reacted to the word ‘making-love’. She was already twenty five for goodness sake.

 “Dancing is an expression of one’s self. It reveals one’s soul. We expose a part of our self in every step, in every move. Through dancing we relay a message, we tell a story.”

 Olivia’s words were profound and enlightening. No trace of the bully of a mother she was earlier.

 “Like making love, dancing unites not only the mind and the body but the heart as well. That intimacy between partners then translates into a move that reaches its intended audience and touches anyone who watches.”

 Juvia pondered over her mother’s words. Same as what Aquarius said during the preshow. The Prima Ballerina did not exactly use the same words (especially the word ‘making-love’. What is up with that?) but Juvia knew what she was driving at, that the routine lacked heart.

 Dance to express, not impress.

 “Honey, you’re a great dancer. You don’t have to prove yourself in that respect. And you and Gray? Well, you do look good together but you can’t translate that chemistry through your dance because, like I said, you are hostile towards him.”

 Guilt hit Juvia like a pandemonium, over and over again. Was she really to blame? Juvia knew her mother wasn’t pointing fingers. It was probably Olivia’s way of reminding her to warm up to Gray a little.

 Looking back at the first few days she has spent with Hoopster, all she did was argue with him. They never even had a decent talk. He was the one to blame. All that Hoopster did was test her patience and annoy the hell out of her. However, if Juvia was being honest, Gray was the more cooperative one between them.

 Gray arrived before call time. He never complained about anything he was asked to do for the show. He wasn’t a diva at all. Unlike those celebrities she worked with during the first season. In fact, they had that one moment, albeit brief, before the start of the preshow when Gray gave her a pep talk. Probably out of habit since he was the Fiore Knight’s Team Captain. Still, Juvia felt a little relieved back then.

 He was supportive too. When Juvia was overwhelmed with the thought of meeting her childhood hero, Gray stepped up and proved to be someone she could rely on. Someone she could trust. Juvia should start trusting her partner. To do that, she needed to open up to him, even just a little bit.

 The faint screech of the chair's legs against the carpeted floor pulled Juvia out of her thoughts. Olivia was getting out of her seat to attend to her plants again. But before she did, she faced her daughter and left her one last advice.

 “Keep that in mind, honey.”

Writer’s Corner: You guys! We’re on the last revised chapter. It’s time to contiue to chapter 6. Anyone else noticed how charged the air is between these two? So much sexual tension. With that, should I go down that path? Should I write le sexy times between Gruvia? Let me know!

[ladystylestores]

The Persistence of Police Killings

Want to get The Morning by email? Here’s the sign-up.

Good morning. A federal program to replace school lunches isn’t working. Facebook is OK with encouraging polarization. And four Minneapolis police officers have been fired after a black man’s death during an arrest.

During a six-month span in 2014, four separate police killings of African-Americans grabbed the country’s attention. Eric Garner died after being put in a chokehold in New York, while Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo.; Laquan McDonald in Chicago; and 12-year-old Tamir Rice in Cleveland were all shot.

The killings sparked a debate about how to reduce deaths caused by the police. In response, more police departments directed their officers to wear body cameras. Some introduced new training programs. Civil-rights activists and politicians began paying more attention to the issue.

Six years later, however, there is no sign of meaningful change, at least on the national level. The number of police killings has hovered around 1,100 every year since 2013, according to Mapping Police Violence, a research and advocacy group. (A Washington Post database shows a similar pattern.)

Now the subject is back in the spotlight.

On Monday night, a Minneapolis man named George Floyd died after a police officer pressed his knee into Floyd’s neck while he lay on the ground. The case was the latest in which the official police report presented a different story from a cellphone video that later emerged. In the video, Floyd can be heard saying “I can’t breathe” again and again.

Four officers involved in the arrest were fired yesterday. “Being black in America should not be a death sentence,” Minneapolis’s mayor, Jacob Frey, said. “For five minutes, we watched a white officer press his knee into a black man’s neck. Five minutes.”

What, if anything, might finally succeed in reducing police killings? I thought it would be worth sharing a few suggestions from around the country that I found while trying to make sense of the latest case:

Samuel Sinyangwe of Campaign Zero, a group formed after Brown’s death: Restrict chokeholds, train officers to de-escalate conflicts and prohibit them from shooting at moving vehicles, among other steps.

A 2019 California law: Change the standard for when an officer can legally use deadly force, from one based on a “reasonable belief” of imminent danger to one in which a later review finds it “necessary.”

Jennifer Cobbina, Michigan State University: Implicit-bias training for officers and “frank engagement between law enforcement and the people they serve to address tensions, grievances and misconceptions.”

David French, National Review: Acknowledge that “many controversial police shootings are lawful and justifiable” but also stop accepting excuses and cover-ups for those that are not.

Chuck Wexler, Police Executive Research Forum: Train officers to intervene when a colleague “may be on the brink of using excessive force,” as Los Angeles and New Orleans are doing.

FOUR MORE BIG STORIES

1. Slow start for a hunger relief program

An emergency program created by Congress to replace school meals during the coronavirus outbreak has reached only about 15 percent of eligible children, according to an analysis by The Times. One problem: Outdated state computers.

Other virus developments:

2. Trump vs. Twitter

Twitter said yesterday that it would not remove Trump’s tweets spreading a baseless conspiracy theory that the MSNBC host Joe Scarborough killed Lori Klausutis, a former congressional staff member who died in 2001 of a medical condition.

Klausutis’s widower had pleaded with Twitter to remove the posts, writing in a letter, “I’m asking you to intervene in this instance because the president of the United States has taken something that does not belong to him — the memory of my dead wife — and perverted it for perceived political gain.”

A Twitter first: The company added a fact-checking link yesterday below two Trump tweets that made false claims about mail-in ballots.

3. How the Taliban endured

Senior military officials plan to present Trump with an option to pull all American troops out of Afghanistan before the November election, at least six months ahead of schedule. But commanders are expected to advise against that option, out of concern that it could doom the peace deal reached this year with the Taliban.

4. Facebook chooses polarization

An internal Facebook analysis found that the platform was helping polarize the country, but senior executives decided to shelve the analysis and not take action, The Wall Street Journal reported. One presentation given to senior executives warned that “if left unchecked,” Facebook would feed users “more and more divisive content in an effort to gain user attention & increase time on the platform.”

Kevin Roose, a technology columnist at The Times, explains: “It raises the possibility that these presentations — and others like them — will come to be seen as a smoking gun for Facebook, the way that tobacco and oil companies had known about the hazards of their products years before they publicly admitted it.”

Here’s what else is happening

The National Hockey League announced a plan to finish its virus-shortened season. The top 24 teams will compete in a round-robin playoff, likely hosted in empty arenas in two cities.

A white woman in New York was fired from her job after a video captured her calling the police on an African-American man in Central Park who asked her to leash her dog, as required.

Jimmy Cobb, a jazz drummer who was part of Miles Davis’s seminal album “Kind of Blue,” died Sunday at 91.

BACK STORY: SPACE LAUNCH

Two NASA astronauts are set to blast off to the International Space Station today. But it will be different from past launches: This will be the first one run by a private company — SpaceX, founded by the entrepreneur Elon Musk. Kenneth Chang, a science reporter, offers some perspective:

Back in 1968, Pan Am started issuing memberships for its “First Moon Flights” club to space enthusiasts hoping to someday book a commercial flight there. It was a fanciful promotion — the membership card was free — but more than 93,000 people signed up. Pan Am is long out of business, and we’re still a long way before someone can buy a ticket to the moon, but the SpaceX launch is the first real step toward that dream.

Although NASA has been involved in working with SpaceX, this is SpaceX’s operation. In the future, NASA will simply pay the going rate for a ticket to the space station and not be involved with running its own space transportation system to low-Earth orbit.

More: The launch, scheduled for 4:33 p.m. Eastern time, will be streaming live on NASA’s website starting at noon.

PLAY, WATCH, EAT, READ

Take a (virtual) food tour across America

Pepperoni rolls, cold noodles, New England seafood chowder — there are some meals that just taste better coming from a favorite restaurant.

Read a buzzy sophomore novel

Four years ago, Brit Bennett released her debut novel, “The Mothers,” centered on friends growing up in a small-town black community in California. Now she returns with the highly anticipated “The Vanishing Half,” about twin sisters who lead diverging lives, one as a black woman and the other passing as white.

“Bennett is a remarkably assured writer who mostly sidesteps the potential for melodrama inherent in a form built upon secrecy and revelation,” Parul Sehgal, a book critic for The Times, wrote in a review. “The past laps at the present in short flashbacks, never weighing down the quick current of a story that covers almost 20 years.”

Thanks for spending part of your morning with The Times. See you tomorrow. — David

P.S. The word “ervaringsdeskundige” — Flemish for “experience expert” — appeared for the first time in The Times yesterday, as noted by the Twitter bot @NYT_first_said.

Today’s episode of “The Daily” is about the threat that the coronavirus is posing to the U.S. Postal Service.

Lauren Leatherby, Ian Prasad Philbrick and Sanam Yar contributed to The Morning. You can reach the team at themorning@nytimes.com.

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[mrmichaelchadler]

Sundance 2019 Interview: Babadook Director Jennifer Kent on Her New Film, The Nightingale

Jennifer Kent, the writer-director of the Sundance sensation “The Babadook”, is back in Park City five years after her modern-day horror classic took the festival by a storm. She is here with her arresting period drama-thriller “The Nightingale”, which premiered in competition at the Venice International Film Festival last summer and won two prizes: Special Jury Prize for Kent, and the Marcello Mastroianni Award for actor Baykali Ganambarr. “It seems like I spent a full year promoting “The Babadook”, it really took a lot of time,” says Kent, explaining her long absence. “And I was writing over that time, but also adjusting to a new life. And I had a lot thrown at me, a lot of offers, and I was trying to [decide] what I wanted to do. And I kept looking and reading a lot, but nothing was grabbing me.” So Kent pursued her own projects and wrote two films during that time: “Alice + Freda Forever” and “The Nightingale”, which she wanted to make first. “But the good news of that is, now I have another film ready to go very quickly. So I'm happy it's worked out that way.”

Set in 1825, “The Nightingale” trails the story of the young Irish convict Clare (Aisling Franciosi) and Aboriginal tracker Billy (Ganambarr) she teams up with to find the British officer (Sam Claflin) who raped her and killed her family. Throughout their journey, Kent investigates and displays the violence of the era from an uncompromising viewpoint, without ever sidestepping what makes her survivor characters human. We sat down with Kent ahead of “The Nightingale’s” first Sundance screening to discuss its historical canvas and themes around violence and hope. She also shared preliminary details on her upcoming projects “Alice + Freda Forever” and the sci-fi series “Tiptree”, about science-fiction writer Alice Bradley Sheldon, better known with her pen name James Tiptree Jr.

While “The Babadook” and “The Nightingale” are very different movies, in general terms, they are both centered on very specific female related troubles and horrors. 

I think they reflect my concerns very strongly. And I think I'm attracted [to that]. I mean, it's very hard as a filmmaker to say, "I make these kinds of films." Because all I can say is I try to make films very much from my heart, and from myself, and so it doesn't surprise me that they have similarities. I tend to be interested in films that are traveling from darkness to light usually in some way. Traveling through darkness, perhaps.

“The Nightingale” is a really tough film, thematically as well as technically since you were shooting in remote locations in Tasmania. And you're depicting stories of violence; sexual violence and violence against indigenous people. How did you work through all these risks and challenges?

I think I was really disturbed by the level of violence in the world, and I'd had my mother die, and I think it always brings questions of, "What's this all about? This life experience?" And for me, life is about a process of evolution and it should involve love. When I looked at the world around me, I didn't see a lot of that, and it was very disturbing and heartbreaking to me. I wanted to tell a story that really was about love ultimately. "Can humans love in even the hardest and most difficult of times?" And I think we can. I don't think it's a simplistic ... I don't have the answers to violence of any kind, but I really wanted to look at it honestly and in a deeper way, and I'm so proud of this film for that reason.

It was so tough to make. I mean, let's not lie here, it was so tough on every level. We shot on an island, no crew, really very little infrastructure for filmmaking. We shot in the wilderness, in autumn, in the mountains. But on top of that, this heartbreaking story of my country, which is also the story of this country, and many colonized countries around the world, is something that I wanted to speak about. It was the hardest, but [also] the best experience of my life.

I want to talk a little about the way you engage with and even film sexual violence in this story. For instance, I really responded to the fact that throughout her journey, revenge mattered less to Clare, and preserving something really core to her humanity mattered more. I think I positively responded to that aspect, as I have always had trouble with this so called “rape revenge” genre, to be perfectly honest. Your film subverts that.

Yeah, I have real problems with [rape revenge] too. Even the construct of “rape revenge” irks me. When people call this a “rape revenge” film, [I get] very offended, because I think they've missed the point entirely. But for me, the whole film had to be told through Clare's eyes. So what she was experiencing and feeling, that went in the shooting of it, in every aspect of it, that's how I approached it. I couldn't find a rape scene on screen that didn't show bodies, naked bodies, female bodies. To some sick and damaged mind, that could be somehow titillating. And I really worked hard with my DP. And the wonderful actress Aisling worked very hard to make sure that this was not the case, that we told it purely from an emotional [perspective], from how that person would experience it.

And that was my next point: the gratuitous display of nudity drives me insane in rape scenes. 

And it's a misunderstanding of what rape is. Rape is a violent act, it involves sex, but it's not sexual—the person who is committing that act is doing that to annihilate another human there, whether that human being is male, female, or otherwise. I felt a responsibility to make sure that it really did shock and hit people in the way that the act itself is shocking and heartbreaking. I wasn't interested in making a gratuitous act within a story, and it really needed to be as close to that experience as Clare would've felt it.

How did you work with your two actors filming those scenes, getting them into that headspace and providing them the right kind of on-set atmosphere?

I am an actor myself; I trained as an actor, and worked as an actor. So I know the vulnerabilities attached to it. I can confidently say I know how to push an actor and when to support and nurture them. And I have to say, the toughest job on that set was Sam Claflin's, and hats off to him. He is an incredible person and beautiful actor, and he had the courage to take on this role, when a lot of men were frightened of it.

And my job was to really support Aisling, of course, but also to support him, because he found it very hard. And without going into a lot of details, I did a lot of research on the mind of the perpetrator, and I wanted to have compassion, I wanted to explore that from not a black and white perspective, from that complex perspective. So, Sam and I worked on that together, talked a lot, we did a lot of improvised, sort of very structured games between him and Aisling. So they developed this dynamic that didn't involve any sexual contact, that involved physical contact, that when they repeated it before a take, it would get them straight to this place. I understood that for Aisling to be touched in certain ways, it had to be very carefully thought out. They really, really were very, very grateful for that. The set had to be very safe. These are terrible things that happen, and I could not put my actors through any of it.

While the events themselves are fictional, your story lives on a canvas of historic reality. Can you talk about building a story like that? That's based on reality, but not a true story. 

It was really important for us to get historical accuracy for many reasons. I'm a white person telling an aboriginal story. So we had an elder, an aboriginal elder, Uncle Jim Everett, who worked very hard with us. I brought him on. He didn't have time but he loved the story, he felt the importance of the story, and it's a story that had never been told about his people. So he was on from the get go, from the first draft, and always I deferred to him. But he was always aware, "This is a shared story," he used to say to me, "I'm here to authenticate it, and make it real," and he and his community were across it, so those aspects you can't make up.

Similarly, the experiences of the convict women at the time were accurate. They were more often than not raped. And it was a culture of rape. And in fact, the violence between the whites and the blacks in Tasmania was a war of women. So women were stolen and they were raped and they were discarded, and it was really common, so common that the men would then retaliate as they do in the film, and they would be killed, or the women would be killed, so this is the story of my country.

And so, I had to make sure that that was very historically accurate, but whether there was two people that travel across the land in this particular time, in this particular way, that's where we could take liberties. Infrastructure had to be [accurate]. I can say, this happened actually, and worse. Much worse than I documented. If you can believe it, I pulled back on the violence that existed at that time.

Even though you pulled back from the violence, you still engage with it in a very uncompromising manner. And I do agree that it’s necessary to show the truth. I'm wondering though if you were concerned at all about what the audiences would make of it. Did you negotiate with any kind of concern or fear in your hear?

I think I'm of the belief that stories need to be told, and we are the guardian, custodian of that story. We put our hand up for it, and if we don't, someone else will. I guess I had a strong responsibility to the story. So I always, and this may sound crazy, ask the story: what does it need? How far to go?

I think as a filmmaker you always wonder, especially if you’re making something slightly controversial. I was quite worried; say for example, how my own people, Australians, would receive the film. Because it's our biggest blind spot as Australians; this period in our history and what we did with colonization. For example, the government refuses to move Australia Day, even though it's the day of a well-known massacre. So things like this, there's a stubbornness. Either we didn't do this or it was over 200 years ago, get over it. So, yeah I was a little concerned about how people may take it, but I guess my commitment to the importance of the story always took precedence, so I always focused on that.

I did find premiering it was quite hard, to be honest. I was shocked at the way the film was received. Not by everyone, there were a lot of people who were really moved by it. But others who just from interviews felt like I'd made pornography or something offensive that should never have been made, and I was really saddened by that. I found it quite tough, because to me, we need to be talking about these stories to evolve as human beings, and if we don't, we're going to go backwards. I mean look at the world that we live in.

You can't heal until you own up to what you've done.

You can’t. And the happy ending to that story is that we premiered in Adelaide in October, and Australians never give standing ovations, we're just too chill, too self-effacing, and that's too fussy. But they just stood and applauded for five minutes or something. It was so wonderful to me, and I had people coming up to me afterwards wanting to talk about our history and talk about their own stories, so I felt very heartened by that, that Australians are ready to face this, and I think that's such a wonderful thing.

Jennifer Kent's "The Babadook." Courtesy of IFC.

On one hand, I don't want to talk about what happened in Venice Film Festival between you and this male journalist who heckled you with a sexist slur. On the other hand, I think it kind of crystallizes one of the points in the film about toxic male entitlement. Did that anger you?

No, I found it funny. And then I had compassion for the man, because he said he didn't know why he said it. I felt compassion for someone who had that sort of automatic response. Because it says a lot about him. And what I felt more saddened by, I think, is the general feeling that surrounds one random comment, that mentality. Because I think you can go, "Oh, one person says that," but I think what's more disturbing is a general feeling within a country or a continent. Someone can say something hurtful and it can just be, water off the duck's back. But when you realize that frame of mind, that perspective, exists in a lot of people silently, that's what I found very disappointing. It's ubiquitous. We're suffering from a distinct lack of respect for the feminine across the planet, whether that's in nature, in indigenous cultures, in women themselves. There's a misunderstanding of the feminine force and how powerful it is, and then there becomes a great disrespect for it.

But I feel hopeful. I feel hopeful that the fact that it's all coming to the surface, like some boil coming to the surface, means it has to come up and out. And that can be painful in the process. But ultimately (and I may not appear to be from my films), I'm an optimist and I have a great belief in humankind. I think we really need to enlist qualities like kindness and empathy and compassion. Without these qualities, we will not survive, we simply won't.

And that's for me what “The Nightingale” is about. Those qualities that are found in the two most unlikely people to come together. And for me, it's a tale of platonic love, and I think the world could learn a lot from platonic love, between man and woman, it's a beautiful thing.

You mentioned the script that you've written for “Alice + Freda Forever”. And I think there is also a TV series you’re working on, “Tiptree”. What can you tell me about these projects, even if it’s a bit premature to talk about?

Well, Alice + Freda is ready to go in terms of the script. We have a script that we're really proud of and excited by, and just thinking of it, I get goosebumps. I really, really want to tell that story next. And we're moving forward on casting. It has two very young girls at the center of it, and it's based on a true story. I want to keep the girls young, because they were. They were the equivalent of 12 and 13 year olds now, emotionally, so it probably means we'll cast 16, 17 year olds, unknowns, if I can get away with it.

We're looking at Savannah, Georgia. It’s not so much an empowering story, this one. It's more of a coming of age, I guess, in a very painful way. It's about the choice to love whoever you want to love and how difficult that was then, and maybe still how difficult it is now.

But yeah, such beautiful characters. It was amazing to draw on something that existed. So to have Alexis Coe's book, “Alice + Freda Forever”… But also I traveled with Alexis a couple of years ago to Memphis, to the library there and to where the girls lived, and to their gravesites. So I really connected with their story.

And I think that Alexis said when she read the draft, the first draft, it was like reading all these documents that she couldn't find to tell the historical story that she'd found in an attic somewhere. So it's more about their love story rather than the stuff in the book, which is all about the court case.

And Tiptree?

I don't know where to start. There was this writer of short science fiction stories in 60s and 70s who was very feted, and of the level of Philip K. Dick, or Ursula Le Guin. He was really creating the most powerful stories of gender and of being an outsider. But they were so potent, very prescient; because it's almost the world we're living in now. So they were written 50 years ago. They're incredibly relevant still, and then he was sort of well known. His stories were well known, but no one knew who he was for 10 years, and then eventually someone uncovered his identity to be a woman in her 60s, in I think Virginia. This woman's story is unbelievable. Unbelievable. And she was a genius. So I want to tell her story.

So you'll make something episodic at a network?

Yeah, but including her short stories within. It's not a straight biopic; so aliens from her stories inhabit her true world, and then she will be in the world of her stories, and it's so exciting to me. It's science fiction, which I love. I came across that because I was being given a lot of science fiction scripts. And I thought, “Where are the female science fiction stories?” So I Googled “female science fiction”, and I came across her! It was so hard to get the rights. And then I got all the rights to these stories, so it's just meant to be. I could sit for hours and tell you how we got these rights. I'm working with producer Brian Kavanaugh-Jones, who is wonderful. He's engaged with a company called Imperative, and so that's the deal at the moment. But Imperative has thrown some money at the development, but we want to keep control of it. So we didn't want to go to HBO and have it sit on a shelf and not get made, for example. So, we want to come with a pilot and a bible, so I'm working on that at the moment.

After “The Babadook”, people thought of you as a horror director. I am thrilled that you’re also working in other genres, but I’m also wondering if you want to make another horror film too. (I hope so.)

I think horror is inherently cinematic. I love horror. People got the wrong idea after “The Babadook”, cause you do interviews and you say things, and I said, "I'm not a horror director," because I'm not. But they thought then that I was putting horror down. It couldn't be further from the truth. I grew up on horror. I insisted on horror from a very young age. So, of course, for me it's about the story. If a story comes to me and I really want to tell it, its form will present itself. Do you know what I mean?

Makes perfect sense.

So, if I want to tell a story that's in a horror genre, and it's a brilliant story about humanity, then I'll jump in and tell it. I mean, I may be doing something with Guillermo del Toro, I don't know, I have to hear his pitch for it, so there is a possibility.

That's exciting.

Yeah, it's exciting, but I don't see why we should be pigeonholed, because I do want to tell the stories that I'm currently engaged in. Science fiction is another area that has so much worth and can tell us so much about humans and how we operate.

from All Content http://bit.ly/2RhFKIL

[theconservativebrief]

Every week, critic at large Todd VanDerWerff and internet culture reporter Aja Romano get together to discuss the latest episode of HBO’s sci-fi drama Westworld. This week, they’re discussing the second season’s eighth episode, “Kiksuya.” Spoilers follow! Proceed with caution if you haven’t seen the episode!

Todd VanDerWerff: “Kiksuya” could have — and probably should have — gone so, so wrong.

For as much as I admire Westworld’s attempts to depict a kind of uber-struggle for respect, autonomy, and self-definition that represents every oppressed person in the history of humanity, by using the hosts to stand in for all of them (and often explicitly coding them as such), there have been plenty of times when the show has tossed these balls in the air and then had no idea what to do with them, just barely catching them on the way down instead of starting to nimbly juggle.

When you mix that with the idea of an episode about the Native American “Ghost Nation” hosts, performed almost entirely in Lakota, there are so many places where the whole enterprise could absolutely shatter into tiny pieces . That’s before I even start in on some of the episode’s creative decisions, like the fact that it’s basically an episode-long flashback ostensibly delivered as an expository monologue to a young child (who is actually an ancient host, but you know what I mean).

Yet when you consider that Westworld’s primary storytelling mode is, “Here is what’s happening and why,” it’s not surprising that an episode that is mostly exposition works as well as this one does. I wouldn’t call “Kiksuya” perfect, but it does fill in some gaps in the Westworld timeline, occasionally too conveniently — see also that encounter with Logan out in the wilds of Westworld. It also offers a couple of terrific scenes, including a nighttime meeting between Akecheta (Zahn McClarnon) and Ford (Anthony Hopkins) that takes place amid a gruesome tableau of Ghost Nation hosts frozen in place and has more of the horror and eeriness of the “creation meeting the creator” feeling the show strives for than almost any other scene of its ilk. I even liked the sense that Ghost Nation had adapted the circumstances of what happen to hosts after they die into its mythology.

All told, it’s a little languid and could have lost 10 minutes without too much trouble. (There are a lot of gigantic landscape shots, which eventually grew repetitive.) But “Kiksuya” has the visceral emotion that the series often lacks, and McClarnon is a terrific leading man. This is probably my favorite episode of the season so far, which I would not have expected going in. What did you think?

Lots and lots of wide shots… HBO

Aja Romano: I definitely agree. McClarnon is a superb actor and this episode could have fallen flat in multiple moments, but I felt like it was all held together by his dawning realizations and the tremor of understanding in his eyes.

The moment in the scene where he meets Ford, when Ford orders him to analyze and he realizes that he can’t fight his own programming, is as close to pure horror as Westworld has ever gotten for me, and the writers (Carly Wray and Dan Dietz) get there mainly by reliance on character and emotion. That’s a strong choice, and shows just how much they had to work with in McClarnon, because the narrative of this episode otherwise gives us more of Westworld’s tendency to really drag out explanations and plot reveals. But ultimately, even when I noticed the lagging pace and the redundancy of the exposition, I just didn’t care because I was enjoying the characterization and the emotional impact of the story so much.

I think where this story loses a little bit of momentum is in how it ultimately connects with its two contemporary tentpoles — Emily’s love/hate relationship with her father, and whatever the hell is going on with Maeve. Akecheta’s encounter with Emily felt anticlimactic and cryptic, and it didn’t tell me anything new about either character. (She’s definitely a hybrid, though!)

I feel like the reveal that he was attempting all along to protect Maeve’s daughter, not steal her, is too easy, sidestepping some of the the complicated implications of how season one habitually framed his actions as threatening. And it implies that Maeve may have somehow had racial biases programmed into her reactions to him, which is a huge thing to hint at but gloss over.

Of course, his framing of the narrative could well be false, especially given what we see of Maeve at the end of the episode. I’m not entirely sure what to make of their exchange, mainly because I’m not sure what he gained from it. She gained a new ally, and he gained the chance to explain himself. But it didn’t seem to move the plot forward at all. What did I miss?

Take my heart with you when you go. HBO

Todd: I guess the implication here is that Maeve and Akecheta now form an axis of power devoted to escaping the park before “the deathbringer” (Dolores) destroys everybody. As story development goes, this isn’t bad, but it relies too heavily on us thinking Maeve might really perish, a victim of Delos’s disinterest in preserving anything but her rogue code, and I just don’t think for a second Westworld is going to unceremoniously kill off its second lead.

One of the things that frustrates me about “Kiksuya” is the way in which much of it seems to exist solely to prove to skeptics that much of the story was planned out from the beginning. That made for some gorgeous imagery — Maeve confronting the maze in the dust chief among those images — but the way that Westworld can feel a little schematic, like assembling a piece of furniture where it’s not quite clear how everything fits together until the end, is heavily tied to this sort of planning. I haven’t quite been able to escape the idea that the show thinks its core audience is everybody who reads the Westworld subreddit. And, honestly, maybe it is.

Still, I have to agree that the episode came as close to being a horror tale as Westworld ever has, rivaling even some of the darker moments for Dolores in season one. Akecheta’s journey to the underworld in search of his disappeared love was weird and gorgeous and mythic, one of the few times this season that the mash-up of very old stories and very new technology has hit its true potential to reveal the messy underside of both aspects of the show. When he came across her frozen, empty body, standing amid so many other decommissioned hosts, boy, McClarnon makes every single second of that revelation play. It’s horror and myth and tragedy all at once, hitting the sorts of heights I wish the show was able to attain more often.

There’s been a lot of speculation that Ghost Nation would tie a lot of this season’s mysteries together once its backstory was revealed, and I guess “Kiksuya” sort of does this. Now that we know the maze is something Akecheta and those he “woke up” are deliberately spreading and that he’s come to think of his “tribe” as encompassing all awakened hosts around the park, certain aspects of the series make more sense. And I love that he’s the one who first came up with the idea of a “door,” when he saw a massive construction project and realized he lived in the wrong world. I just wish the maze felt to me like something more than a cool image, that it felt like an actual symbol for something deeper than a riddle.

But that’s all quibbles. The idea that the world is wrong has always been a potent one on this show, and season two has drifted from it just a tiny bit. I’m glad it had such centrality here, and even if I’m not sure why Maeve and Akecheta are teaming up, I’m glad they are. Somebody has to stop the Deathbringer. We’ve only got two episodes left, Aja, so where do you think all of this is headed? And is there any way to redeem my onetime favorite Dolores?

Aja: I think if we keep thinking about the mythology of Westworld, we end up where we started, enmeshed in cyclical pathways, probably with a giant inferno in the bargain, given how much fiery foreshadowing we’ve been treated to this season. Given where we seem to be headed — a giant cast reunion in the Valley Beyond — my speculation is that the question of Dolores’ redemption might be answered through the maze itself.

At this point, the only thing that could really redirect her course is to be faced with a direct threat that requires her to join forces, with the other hosts or the humans or both. And we know that at the center of every proper Grecian labyrinth is a proper Grecian minotaur. It seems to me that the best method to bar the way out of Westworld, introduce an escalated conflict for season three, and give Dolores a chance to redeem herself, is to unveil the bull at the center of the maze in the final act — whether it’s Ford 2.0 or something new.

Of course, this could also be a feeble attempt on my part to play Westworld’s game of catering to its subreddit. I hope not, because the lovely thing about an episode like this one is that its emphasis on character development reminds us that the emotional and socially conscious core of Westworld is much more rewarding than the endless gamification of its story about gamification.

Season two has been steadily leading us toward an intersectional awareness of systems of oppression, in which we see characters like Akecheta — and Lee, whose abrupt tearful apology to Maeve I didn’t wholly buy, but which seemed in keeping with the episode’s theme — becoming aware that their problems aren’t solely their own.

That intersectionality is almost certainly going to end up manifesting physically in the final episode. Whether Dolores gets on board or not, it seems fitting if, ultimately, we learn that the only way out for the characters we’ve met along the way is to wage an even bigger power struggle against a monster yet unseen.

Original Source -> “Kiksuya” is Westworld season 2’s best episode so far

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