#‘oh yeah no we didn’t make it lol but we stole it from the folks who did so that makes us cooler than them automatically’

[psqqa]

it IS very funny to me though that all the descriptions of st mark’s basilica are like “it is renowned for its impressive facade and statuary, much of which are the plunder of various military conquests and campaigns”. which is just. Peak Europe.

[maddogofshimano]

A Man’s Promise: Daigo Scratcher Event

Daigo time! Look at these fancy new cards (and karaoke Akiyama, who is the scratcher prize for some reason)

This one ended up being much longer and funnier than I expected, and we get to see Daigo being kind of cool!

Summary: Daigo goes to investigate rumors of Omi Alliance remnants in the outskirts of Kamurocho. He bumps into an old friend turned enemy and gets tangled up in the unintended difficulties the Tojo-Omi war has caused for a local elementary school.

<a certain day in 2006>

With the conflict between the Tojo and the Omi coming to an end, on the outskirts of Kamurocho, the root of the conflict between east and west is still smoldering.

Daigo: The remnants of the Omi Alliance are still around Kamurocho? Is that true?

Yayoi: Yes, that's the current situation as far as we've been able to tell. Even though things are finished, one group has rallied and refuses to accept the outcome. Daigo: Tch, those asshole...! Kashiwagi: Just to be safe, I've informed the clan members to be ready to move out war at any time--at least until this dispute is settled. I'd like to avoid further burdening our members with this.

Daigo: ....Then let's see how those assholes like dealing with me. Yayoi: Daigo, what are you planning on doing? Daigo: I'm going to smoke out those Omi remnants and drive them back to kansai. Kashiwagi: We need to avoid getting into a second conflict with the Omi. Daigo: Yeah... I got that. <Daigo heads out> Daigo: (Well, talking about hunting down the Omi remnants is all well and good, and they're supposed to be in Kamurocho's outskirts) Daigo: (But how the hell am I supposed to find the bastards...)

???: Aniki. Daigo: You're... Shitamura? (Tl note: could also be Shimomura or Shikukira or probably a bunch of other readings but that's what I'm going with. No clue if he’s been in anything else, I don’t recognize the name!)

Shitamura: You really remember me? Shitamura: When I heard my aniki had gone and become the head of the whole Tojo Clan, I figured you'd have forgotten all about me. Daigo: When you conspired with the other side, I was crushed. I haven't forgotten you at all. Shitamura: Haha, you remember stuff from that long ago? Shitamura: By the way aniki, do you think ya could put in a good word for me to join the Tojo Clan? Shitamura: I'm sure you can see that I'd be useful to you. Daigo: You better think carefully before making jokes like that. Daigo: Do you think I'd deal with a double-crossing man like that? Shitamura: Oh, is that so. Well if the Tojo Clan doesn't take me, won't that mean I have no choice but to work with the Omi? Shitamura: You understand the situation, right? Shitamura: There's still a considerable number of Omi remnants hangin' around Kamurocho. Shitamura: I'm holdin' my breath until the Tojo Clan gets tripped up by it. Daigo: What do you know about the Omi remnants? Shitamura: Who can say? Daigo: So that's how it is. If you want to join the Omi, that's fine. Shitamura: What? Daigo: Go join whatever organization you please. I don't have any right to stop you. Daigo: However, if you join the Tojo and betray them in favor of the Omi... Daigo: I'm destroy you with every ounce of my strength. Shitamura: Oooh, scary. Seems that you're the one tellin' jokes now. Daigo: It's fine if you think it's a joke... but it's not. Shitamura: Wait, where are ya going? We're not done talkin', right?

Daigo: I have to investigate the Omi remnants. I don't have time to deal with you. <Daigo leaves> Shitamura: Shit. I gotta get back on the right track! (Tl note: struggling here. 調子に乗りおってからに!) Daigo: (I've been talking to people for a long time, but no one seems to know anything about the Omi remnants.) Daigo: (Is it already that late? I'll have to make another try tomorrow, then. Hm? That's....) Daigo: Hey, what are you doing out this late? (Tl note: I very briefly thought this was the same kid as in Haruka's scratcher lmao)

Takashi: ...Who are you, old man? Daigo: You can call me Daigo. And you are? Takashi: ....Takashi. Daigo: I see.... Hey, Takashi, you should hurry up and go home, won't your parents get worried? Takashi: Leave me alone. Daigo: Well that's not going to happen. It isn't good for a kid like you to be out this late--especially when loitering by yourself, this street is hard to call safe. Daigo: So go home, I'm sure you have homework to do. Takashi: ...But, I don't want to go to school anymore. Daigo: Do you get bullied at school? Takashi: That's not it. Daigo: Well then, will you tell me why you don't want to go to school? Takashi: The event I planned just got cancelled. Daigo: Event? Takashi: It's a scratch card event, you could even win a prize. Takashi: I went and handed out scratch cards to all the old folks on this street. Takashi: If someone won, they'd get one of the rings or necklaces we all made as a prize. Daigo: So why did it get cancelled? Takashi: Because a bunch of scary old men are having a big fight in Kamurocho. Daigo: ....................... Takashi: If we held the event, we'd all get dragged into their fighting... Takashi: So, we had to cancel it. Daigo: So that's what happened. Takashi: All that planning we did? It ended up being for nothing... Takashi: We spent all of our free time after school doing our best making those scratchers... Daigo: ...But, the fighting is already over. If you held it now, there shouldn't be an issue, right? Takashi: We can't. Those scary old guys are still loitering around our school. Daigo: What? Takashi: They lost the fight but they said that even then they won't run away. Daigo: ....Takashi, which school do you go to? Takashi: Ochiyama Elementary. (Tl note: Literally "falling mountain" which is a really funny name for an elementary school) Daigo: (Ochiyama... that is a little bit outside of Kamurocho) Daigo: (Kashiwagi-san did say they were on the outskirts of Kamurocho, so are the Omi remnants hiding out at Ochiyama.....?) Takashi: Since the event I planned was cancelled... After all of our hard work........ Takashi: Everyone tells me that these things can't be helped.... but that just makes me feel worse.... Takashi: So that's why I want to stop going to school...... Daigo: (This kid.... I can't help but feel responsible for this.....) Daigo: ....Go on home for tonight. I'm sure your parents are worried. Takashi: But! Daigo: It'll be okay if you go home. Takashi: If you keep saying that I'll just go somewhere else. There's a lot of other places I can hang out.... Daigo: That's, uhh... Takashi: See ya. Thanks for worrying about me. But, I'm not going to go home. Daigo: ....If I go talk to your school and get them to run the event, will that make you go home? Takashi: Eh! Really? You'll talk to the old guys there so the event can happen!? Daigo: Yes, I promise. Takashi: Sure, I'll go home then! But don't you forget your promise, okay? Daigo: A real man isn't a backstabber. <the following day> Teacher: Principal, there's a guest here to see you. (Tl note: oh my god Daigo. imagine being this poor principal and the chairman of the local yakuza shows up like "hey you gotta run this scratcher event the kids worked really hard on it :(" I would die)

Daigo: Pardon the intrusion, Principal. 

Principal: So, which student are you here about? Daigo: I'm... a member of the Tojo Clan's Dojima Family.  Principal: T-Tojo clan...!? Daigo: I've come here today to make a request. Daigo: The event that the children thought of, can I get your approval on it being run? Principal: The... event? Daigo: The scratcher event. We've heard that it was cancelled. Principal: It's true that the event was cancelled.... But why are you interested? Principal: I think people like you have meddled with the children's event more than enough. Daigo: There's no deep meaning behind it. Really, we just can't forgive ourselves if we disadvantage children like this. Principal: Oh... So you're sticking to your own principles. Principal: You should know that the event was cancelled because of a yakuza attack in the vicinity. Principal: Do you think that by doing this you will end up causing us more trouble? Daigo: (There shouldn't be anybody on the turf around here. So that means it is the Omi remnants...) Daigo: .....I promise the children will be safe. So please, allow the event to happen. Principal: I can't trust in the promise of a yakuza. Principal: I can't stand to see a school become so noisy anyways. I was only doing the event for the board of education. Principal: Now, even if I run such an event, my evaluation won't get any better... Daigo: Oi, Principal... Daigo: Didn't you hear me? Principal: Huh? What? Daigo: I'm telling you that if there's any problem at all I'm here to clean it up. So there's no problem from you, right? Principal: O-Oh, right, that's what you said, sir. H-Ha ha... Daigo: Of course, Principal. I'm glad we're understanding each other.

Daigo: Well, I'm off. I look forward to working with you after this. <Daigo leaves> Principal: Hoo... What the hell, why me..... Why do I have to suffer through meeting someone like that...!

<A few days later>

Takashi: Mister!

Daigo: Ah, Takashi. Takashi: We're going to have our event! You really did keep your promise! Daigo: It's like I said. A real man never double crosses. Takashi: You're right. Thank you! Well, I gotta go prepare! <Takashi leaves> Daigo: Heh... I can hardly believe he was so depressed before. <Daigo's phone rings> Daigo: Hm? My phone is... This is Daigo. Principal: I-It's me. The principal at Uchiyama Elementary. Daigo: Ah, you. Have you decided to open the event? Daigo: I'll owe you one for this. As thanks. Principal: A-About that, just now a bunch of mean looking men just entered the school. Principal: They came in here to ask about you, and what we talked about. Daigo: What? What do you mean? Principal: I told them why you were here, and they stole all of the scratchers for the event tomorrow... (Tl note: rggo actually fucked up on this and marked this as Daigo dialogue when it clearly isn't lol) Daigo: All the scratchers were stolen? What the hell, who does something like that... Principal: The man, he was named Shitamura. Daigo: Shitamura huh.... And he took all of the scratchers? Principal: That's correct..... every single scratch card the children made, they're all gone, so the event won't be able to happen... Daigo: Shitamura, that bastard... What is he playing at...... Principal: That person did ask me to pass along a message.... Daigo: A message? Principal: He said he'll be waiting at Kamurocho's Batting Center... Daigo: Got it. I'll head there right away. <Daigo goes> Shitamura: Yo, aniki. Ya kept me waitin'.

Daigo: Shitamura, why the hell did you steal all the scratchers those kids mad? Shitamura: Why, to lure you here... I knew you'd have no choice. Daigo: What? Shitamura: There's a lotta people that have a grudge against ya. Omi Member: Hehe. It's about time we repaid the favor. Daigo-san.

Daigo: Seriously, you're... Shitamura: Yep. A buncha Omi men. Me, I actually decided that the Omi was the better deal. Daigo: Shitamura, you fucker... Shitamura: C'mon, I saw ya goin' into that Ochiyama Elementary school. Shitamura: And I got to wonderin' what that was about, and boy was I surprised when I got the story from the principal. Shitamura: My aniki, who's got a glare that could scare a cryin' kid into silence, is off doin' all this cause of a brat. Shitamura: Everyone's been sayin' ya lost your edge when ya went back to the Tojo Clan. Daigo: It doesn't matter what you think of me. Just hand over the scratch cards already. Daigo: Those kids worked real hard making them. Shitamura: Do you think bein' told soft shit like that will make me hand 'em over? Daigo: What are you hoping for, asshole? Shitamura: You're so cold to me. You really gotta let go of that grudge. Shitamura: For now the good people of the Omi want to get some payback. Shitamura: Of course, not even you can handle this number of people. Daigo: ....Well, we'll see. Shitamura: I'll let you in on something, as a final gift to take to your grave. Shitamura: That rumor about the Omi remnants hiding out around Kamurocho, I was the one who planted that. Daigo: What? Shitamura: That's why ya didn't find any Omi sniffin' around Ochiyama. Daigo: Then why is the Omi wandering around Ochiyama Elementary? Shitamura: That's just to extort cash from the principal. Shitamura: That principal is neck deep in gamblin' debt with the Omi. Daigo: So, the only one lurking around the school was you? Shitamura: Exactly. The remnants of the Omi was just a hoax to catch you off guard--and it seems like you, soon-to-be chairman, have fallen for the bait. Shitamura: Once I kill ya, my cred with the Omi will go through the roof. Daigo: So when you approached me about joining the Tojo, that was a ruse too? Shitamura: Yep, if I could get closer to you, I could get more info on the Tojo. Shitamura: The Omi pays top dollar for that kinda stuff. Daigo: Seems your backstabbing is alive and well. Honestly, I'm relieved to hear that. Shitamura: Why's that? Daigo: Since it was only a rumor that remnants were hiding, the Tojo can stand down from it's war preparations. Daigo: One more thing, none of you fuckers understand a damn thing about why I went into that elementary school. Daigo: So don't trust in your own power so much. Shitamura: ....Is that so. Shitamura: Though if the next chairmen died here, that would be a big problem for the Tojo, right? Daigo: Me, die? I already told you to think before you say stupid shit. Shitamura: Oh, well ain't you full of yourself? Shitamura: The Omi has a big grudge over the war. Think they're gonna be happy with a settlement? Daigo: I understand... It's on me to remind them about why the Tojo Clan is feared. Shitamura: Excellent, let's fuck this bastard up!

<EVENT START>

Shitamura: H-How the hell'dya win against that many people!

Daigo: It doesn't matter how many weaklings you gather. It's pretty sloppy of you if you're only noticing that now.

Shitamura: Shit! Daigo: With that out of the way, hand over the scratchers. Shitamura: What the hell.... Why's a guy like you want to help some elementary school event...... Daigo: I made a promise to a kid. I'm going to make sure that event happens. Shitamura: Th-That's it....? Daigo: I told that kid I was making a promise to him as a man. That's plenty of reason. Shitamura: Ha, hahaha.....! Daigo: What's so funny? Shitamura: ......I was small-minded in hinderin' ya, I think. There couldn't be more difference in the kind of man you 'n' I are. Shitamura: I wanna stop bein' a yakuza. Daigo: That's a good idea. Shitamura: The scratchers are stashed in this locker. ...Well, I'm off for good. Enjoy yourself, aniki. Daigo: Sure... <cut away> Kashiwagi: Pardon the intrusion.

Principal: A-And you are? Kashiwagi: Greetings, I'm Kashiwagi, member of the Tojo Clan. Principal: A-Another from the Tojo Clan... What do you want this time? Kashiwagi: I have something to deliver to you. <a soft thump of paper hitting the table> Principal: Th-This is...? Kashiwagi: 3,000,000 yen. Please accept it. Principal: Eh!? W-Why are you giving this to me...? Kashiwagi: Our next chairman is indebted to you for your assistance. Principal: Next... chairman? Kashiwagi: A young man by the name of Daigo Dojima. He came here, right? Principal: That fucker- ah, I mean, that gentleman, he's going to be the Tojo Clan's chairman..... Principal: Wow. I had no idea who visited me.... or that I'd get so much money........ Kashiwagi: Please don't trouble yourself with that. This money has no strings attached. Please continue on exactly as you were before. Principal: I-I just don't understand this... Kashiwagi: You listened to our soon to be chairman's request. This is the reward. Principal: Th-That was really worth 3 million yen? Kashiwagi: The next chairman, for some reason he really enjoyed that event for the children. Kashiwagi: Without you, he wouldn't have been as enthusiastic about starting out..... You understand, right? Principal: Uh-.... right, I got it! Absolutely, I pushed through anyone who voiced opposition! Kashiwagi: The next time you hold an event, the next chairman would be thrilled to take part. You have the gratitude of all of us, Principal. Principal: Ha, haha... Th-That sounds great! How could I ever refuse something like that... ha ha ha............. Kashiwagi: ......Around here, Omi remnants have been appearing frequently--which is your fault. <Music cuts out> Principal: ..................Eh? <Music gets ominous> Kashiwagi: You know they've been coming by wanting to collect on the money you blew on gambling and playing around. Kashiwagi: That's why, in order to collect that money, Omi have been loitering around the vicinity... Kashiwagi: Therefore, the real reason the children's event was cancelled, is you. Principal: Well.... that's.... Kashiwagi: Furthermore, you've been hiding this fact--hoping that the Tojo Clan might wipe out the Omi around the school before the cause of it ever came to light... Kashiwagi: But it didn't, and I think you've made this very difficult for us. Did I miss anything? Principal: ..................... Kashiwagi: ........Come now, to hold the children's event a dangerous group like the Omi was wiped out.... Kashiwagi: So it's all done and dusted... wouldn't you say, principal? Principal: Y-Y-Yes sir....? Kashiwagi: If something like this happens again... We'll have no choice but to bring down the hammer. Do you understand what I'm saying? Principal: O-Of course.... Something like this will never, ever, ever happen again, I swear..... Kashiwagi: Well, I'm thankful you understand things now. Coming here today was a good idea after all. Principal: Y-Yes sir... From now on I'm going to be on the straight and narrow.... Absolutely..... Kashiwagi: Haha, no need to go that far. ....Just make sure you don't cause problems for people again and you'll keep living just fine, Principal. Principal: Y-Yes sir... Of course....! Kashiwagi: If you'll excuse me then. I'll drop by to visit some other time. <Kashiwagi leaves> Principal: Hahahaha.... haaa....... I'm.... going to stop gambling..... <cut to the park> Takashi's friend: Takashi-kun. The scratcher event was a huge success! All the old men and ladies on this street loved it! Takashi: Yeah. Did everyone have fun?

Takashi's friend: Yeah, of course! Takashi: Nice! I better get thinking of how to make the next event even more interesting, it'll be so fun! Daigo: ...............

Man in black: Daigo-san, are we going to continue watching these children? (Tl note: BRO your own bodyguard calls you by first name???) Daigo: No, there doesn't seem to be any more Omi in this area. There's no need for further observation. Man in black: Understood. <Man leaves, Daigo gets a phone call> Daigo: Kashiwagi-san, what is it? Kashiwagi: I've just received information that a foreign mafia group is trying to expand into Kamurocho. Kashiwagi: Daigo, we need you back at HQ to start developing counter measures. Daigo: Got it, I'll be there shortly. <hangs up> Daigo: (It's just one thing after another huh... Well, this is the responsibility that comes with my position....) Daigo: (The job of the Tojo Clan's 6th Chairman, a role I'm starting to step up to)

<END>

Bonus time: 

can you imagine what that principal is going through. I know he’s a shit head and kind of deserved it but it’s just so so so funny to see Daigo and Kashiwagi bullying this guy

the most important thing about the entire event is that the scratchers looked like this

please enjoy a faceapp by @majimemegoro​ as well that made me wheeze

finally he can smile and not look like it’s hurting him immensely to do so

[hopefulobjectmiracle]

A quick analysis of the puppy scene in 3x15, because my OTP is perfect.

This is honestly just a whole lot of gushing and flailing, tbh. Because Kurt and Blaine and their relationship are wonderful and I love them so, so much. So much so that I can write paragraphs on a scene that is barely one minute long. 

This somehow ended up being much longer than I intended, oops. Hope you enjoy it :)

We start off this scene with Blaine alone at his locker, presumably putting away his belongings from his last class, and you can still see Kurt’s ‘Gay-diddy-gay-gay-gay’ class council election poster on the inside of Blaine’s locker, even months after Kurt lost the election. But Blaine still keeps it up, because he loves Kurt, and if he had it his way, Kurt would win everything. Awww. He appears to be deep in thought, and when Kurt hides behind Blaine’s locker, speaking in the world’s most adorably terrible British accent, it startles Blaine for a second.

And man, does that make me sad. This is a kid that has been bullied, undoubtedly shoved into lockers and pushed here and there just like Kurt was. He hears an unfamiliar voice and immediately flinches back in fear, expecting the worst. 

But it isn’t the worst - it’s the best. Because it’s Kurt, the person Blaine loves more than anything, hiding behind the locker, and it’s Kurt speaking in that cute-ass accent holding a stuffed puppy in front of his face. 

(Side note - I once read that Chris Colfer improvised the dialogue and accent of this scene, as well as coming up with the name for the puppy, which totally checks out since Chris is a huge Anglophile.)

And as soon as Blaine recognizes his boyfriend, his face breaks out into the sunniest smile, and he does his signature “Kurt-made-me-laugh” move, the blushy head-duck (see here for reference). 

Kurt also looks similarly delighted to see Blaine, because Blaine is lovely and Kurt loves him so, so much, and because he’s also excited to show Blaine the gift he got him and help Blaine out with his problems. Kurt really loves Blaine, y’all. He looks so damn proud of the stuffed animal he got for him and equally proud of his own ability to make Blaine laugh with his clever puns. 

Kurt goes on to explain that Finn won the stuffed puppy while out at the amusement park for Senior Skip Day, along with thirteen others for Rachel, and as soon as he says this, Blaine nods along as if to say - oh, of course, that Rachel - because Blaine is considerate as hell and knows his friends very well. And in honest-to-god Kurt fashion, bb stole the puppy from his brother, because Kurt is the definition of Be Gay, Do Crime, and he also recognizes that Rachel does not need 14 different stuffed animals. 

He pouts a little right then, telling Blaine that he wanted to give it to him so that Blaine would have something, since Kurt wasn’t able to convince Blaine to go with them on the field trip. I wonder how that conversation went. 

Also, pouty Kurt is fucking adorable. Protect him at all costs.

Blaine is melancholy again, telling Kurt that he would have just brought the mood down for the group. And when Blaine says this? Kurt stops beating around the bush and gets straight to the point. 

Sweetly stroking the stuffed puppy, Kurt tells Blaine that he understands him. That he gets that family problems are hard, because they’re hard for him too. He uses himself as an example to try and get his point across to Blaine more effectively, and mentions that he and Finn disagree on nearly everything, but at the end of the day, they love one another and are always there for one another despite their differences. 

I’m also getting so many brotherly Furt feelings from Kurt referring to Finn as “the big lug” and talking about how much he loves him. Ugh. I also cry at the line where Kurt tells Blaine that he only has one brother and shouldn’t give up on that, given what happens to Finn. I wish we’d gotten more of that relationship in canon before Cory’s untimely passing, because they clearly had so much love for one another, both on-screen and off.

Anyway, Kurt sees the love he has with his brother and wants Blaine to be able to experience the same thing, because he loves Blaine so, so much and he thinks that Blaine deserves everything great in this world. He also brings back the cute-ass accent, and upon seeing Blaine look upset, bumps Margaret Thatcher Dog against Blaine’s cheek to get him to smile again - which Blaine absolutely does; his face is bright and sunny again because of Kurt’s silliness. Awww. 

Kurt tells Blaine never to give up, and Blaine indignantly responds that Cooper is the one who is leaving for a big audition. Kurt pauses, and tells Blaine that Cooper hasn’t actually left him yet. He says that Cooper is waiting in the auditorium, hoping that Blaine will come and talk to him and make things right. This line very strongly implies that Kurt and Cooper coordinated this, and that Kurt made an effort of talking to Cooper to try and arrange a meeting with Blaine - because in a matter of mere days, Kurt was able to glean how important their relationship was to Blaine and wanted to do everything he could to fix it. Give him all the boyfriend awards, folks.

I’m kidding. Please don’t start the Better Boyfriend Olympics again, lol.

Blaine huffs out that talking doesn’t actually work with Cooper, and that he’s tried it to no avail. And Kurt just nods knowingly, as if he was aware that Blaine would say that. And though it isn’t explicitly mentioned, I bet he did know. He then goes on to say that perhaps talking isn’t the best answer for Blaine. Maybe there’s something else, a better method of communicating his feelings that would work more for Blaine. 

Okay. You know what this reminds me of? Flash back a year, to Silly Love Songs. This is (perhaps unintentionally) a direct callback to 2x12. Back when Blaine was still crushing on someone who is not Kurt, he said this to the Warblers about his idea to serenade Jeremiah. 

Blaine (2011): I'm not really good at talking about my feelings. I'm much better at singing them.

And here are Kurt’s words, from more than a year later. 

Kurt (2012): Maybe talking is not the answer. Maybe you need to show him how you really feel in the best, most honest way you know how. 

Can I just stop right here and squeal a little bit? Because Kurt knows his boyfriend so, so well. He remembers the things that Blaine tells him, even things from over a year ago. He holds onto this key piece of information about Blaine, because Blaine is important to him and the things he tells Kurt are worth remembering. And here, in this scene, he puts his memory to good use to try and remind Blaine of his most effective and heartfelt form of communication so that he can help Blaine mend fences with his brother. 

GIVE HIM THE BOYFRIEND AWARDS, FOLKS!

Kurt is so, supportive of Blaine and just wants the best for him, and it just boggles my mind when people claim that Kurt didn’t love Blaine as much as Blaine loved him, because from even short simple scenes like this one, anyone can tell that it isn’t true. 

After listening to Kurt, Blaine stops, and for the first time, genuinely considers it. Prior to this, all of Cooper’s attempts at talking couldn’t get through to him. Blaine still felt the jealousy and resentment from all those years growing up. But after hearing Kurt’s advice, he puts that aside and realizes that some things, like family, are more important, and so he makes that decision to go see his brother and try and express his feelings in a different way. 

Blaine turns to go meet Cooper, and Kurt watches him go, looking so damn proud of his boyfriend and so, so hopeful...

Y’all know what happens next. Blaine and Cooper, a pair of brothers, sing a breakup song. Yet somehow, it works. Singing manages to communicate all of those emotions that were suppressed before, and opens the doors for real conversation between the two of them. They do successfully patch things up, with Cooper finally recognizing Blaine’s talent and Blaine trying to support Cooper in future endeavors. They are on a path to a close relationship, which is all both of them had ever really wanted in the first place. 

And if not for Kurt’s advice, this may not have happened. Y’all heard that right - Kurt Hummel helped Blaine patch things up with a member of his family because he knew how important it was to Blaine, and he knew how badly Blaine wanted this even if Blaine didn’t let it show. From all the bits and pieces of information we’ve gathered over the years about Blaine’s family, they don’t appear to be all that close, which is why it’s even more important for Blaine that he is able to reconcile with his brother.

(For more of my thoughts on Blaine’s family, feel free to check out this analysis of mine. Yeah, this is a shameless self promo. Deal with it.)

So...what was the point of this analysis? I’m not quite sure. I suppose I just had a lot of feelings about Blaine, Klaine, family, and the way that Kurt shows love. Like I’ve said millions of times, just because Kurt is more subtle in the way that he shows love to Blaine, doesn’t mean that it’s any less powerful. Scenes like this, in which he handpicks Blaine’s own words and uses them to push Blaine towards something he was too afraid to admit he really wanted? Kurt helping reconcile Blaine with his family? This is Klaine at its best, and scenes like this are why I will always, always ship this couple. 

Kurt and Blaine are incredible, y’all. 

Peace. 

[fromzerotoeuphoria]

@waywardfacegarden replied to your post:

Couldn’t agree more with this. Honestly, I agree with every single word on here. I feel like most mh shippers think that us rh shippers just ship it because we hate mako or something but i actually love him so much??? and i, in no way, try to undermine mh’s relationship. i always thought it was so cute and soft and tender, since the first ep. i LOVE, absolutely LOVE their friendship. and i think haru DOES care a ton about mako. he does. and they obviously have a special bond, they’ve known each other since so long. they care about each other and their friendship is so sweet?? i love how haru gives mako the fishes in first season and a lot of other moments of them. and i said this in a post when i first watched the first season, but again, like you say, i GET why people ship them. i get it. they’re cute and their relationship is actually pretty good but it just??? i don’t know, what especially got ME to ship rh instead of mh since the very first ep is how clearly DIFFERENT rh’s dynamic was since the very start. how clearly different haru reacts to rin. he becomes ALIVE when he sees him. his eyes, his whole expression just lights up when he sees rin came back. you don’t see haru act like that towards anyone else. SURE, he cares DEEPLY about mako and, like i said, their relationship is special, he holds him dear and it’s clear, but it’s just different with rin. his reactions are always so visceral when it comes to rin, since they were kids. he pretends like he doesn’t care sometimes but it’s so obvious that he does, kid!haru had a crush and no one can tell me otherwise. it’s all over the place. sure, with haru everything is subtle, but the thing that’s so amazing about rh is that you don’t even have to LOOK for it. even when haru is all subtle about his feelings, he always REACTS visceral with rin, and that’s the thing. idk, when i knew mh was more popular than rh it just… baffled me. i was so surprised, because to me, it was always so obvious how their relationship was a LOT more strong friendship-like than rh. and ngl, it’s frustrating for me, too LOL, but i guess we have to live with that.😂😂 everyone has different opinions, and i guess a lot of people are drawn to them bc of the childhood friend trope… tho you also kinda have it on rh but okay😂🤷‍♀️ it just makes me sad how i’ve seen so much hate around from both sides. and i’ve also come across a LOT of mh shippers that keep telling rh shippers “no, you should ship sousuke and rin and mako and haru, that’s how it should be” and it makes me so sad bc ALL ships are valid???? and it just sounds like they’re always trying to invalidate our ship but oh well. [ALSO. SOUSUKE AND RIN’S RELATIONSHIP IS SO PRECIOUS, NOT TALKING ABOUT IT BC I LITERALLY WOULD NEVER SHUT UP, BUT I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THEM. i fell in love with their friendship since the very first second with their special handshake😂😂😂 i just. have a soft spot for all the samesuka relay team tbh, but maybe that’s bc i’m so in love with rin it’s insane😂😂😂] AND ALSO. FINAL POINT OF ALL MY BABBLING HERE (lol, sorry for invading your post, i just were surprised of how i literally agree with every single word on here) BUT YEAH. KID RIN IS BEST KID/BOY, I LITERALLY WOULD DIE FOR HIM. I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, IT’S RIDICULOUS. I WANT TO PROTECT HIM. I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. idk, man, i just. could talk about rin and kid!rin for days to no end, oof… literally him and rinharu what got me so hooked with free! tbh… like i didn’t expect to be this invested in free! bc i just watched out of boredom, and 20 minutes later after first ep, i was already hooked bc i was already head-over-heels with rin and rinharu LMAO. what did they do to me, honestly��� my love just kept growing… like end of first season was SO SO SO satisfying???? it was so emotional, i cried like the 6 times i watched it in a row, and i felt SO incredibly satisfied???? i’ve rarely felt THAT much and that much satisfaction with an ending before. honestly first season of free is masterpiece. BUT ANYWAYS. SORRY FOR TALKING SO MUCH. I’M SHUTTING UP NOW. HAVE A NICE DAY, FELLOW RINHARU FAN.

The way these comments MADE MY DAY <333

Thank you so much for commenting!! That post was me just rambling out my own thoughts about the two ships, and I originally didn’t plan on sharing it publicly, but since I love reading other people’s posts like that, I figured maybe someone might enjoy mine too 😊 And I’m SO HAPPY you did!! 💜

I said a lot in my previous response to you, so for your sake and for anybody reading I’ll refrain from repeating myself (when it comes to Free! and my thoughts/opinions, I could repeat myself 10000x and not even bat an eye ...but I won’t do that to y’all haha). But YES Makoto is a precious big squish, his friendship with Haru is important, and MakoHaru do care so so much about each other. No sense in trying to undermine that.

BUT THE RINHARU RELATIONSHIP 😩💥🔥🤯😭😭. I LOVE that you used the word visceral, because that’s it EXACTLY. Haru has a visceral reaction to Rin—and vice versa, but the fact that HARU reacts this way is powerfully telling of just how much he feels about Rin. From the very first episode, Haru barely reacted to anything—he was a rather apathetic teen who really only longed to be in the water. But then enter in Rin Matsuoka, and not only does Haru viscerally react whenever Rin is mentioned, but he also has multiple flashbacks of RIn before he even knew Rin was back in the country.

Because Haru doesn’t react this way—so raw and, and you said, viscerally—with anyone else, I just cannot see him not having special feelings for anyone else aside from Rin. It just makes sense, as he never showed these kinds of feelings towards anyone else in his life since the time Rin returned to Australia after their falling out-race. For me, If there really was potential for a reciprocated ship-relationship between Haru and any other character aside from Rin (within the context of Season 1), it would’ve either happened already considering Makoto had been there the entire time and no sparks or flames, or Haru would’ve been so focused on a new character that wasn’t Rin who had newly entered his life (which, as we know, he wasn’t). But no, Haru was so fixated on Rin, it completely baffled Rei, the newcomer to the group, as to why Haruka was so obsessed with Rin. I mean, if that alone doesn’t blatantly confirm that Haru has some pretty strong feelings towards Rin, then idk what to tell folks who are in denial. 🤷🏽‍♀️

KID!RIN IS THE REASON I FELL FOR ADULT RIN. Like, I knew that this bright and dazzling shooting star of a kid was still in Rin somewhere, and since that Rin stole my heart within the first 75 seconds of the anime, by default part of me was stolen by adult Rin, too haha (though ngl, it took like 4 episodes for me to start sympathizing with him, but when I did wooooosh!! XD). AND YES THE WAY I DIED DURING EPISODE 12!!! I literally covered my mouth and was silent-screeching into my hand, waving my other hand wildly in the air, had to pause the video to collect myself multiples times and basically fell apart and lost my mind over the entirety of episode 12 😂 I have my “recap” here if you’re interested in getting a closer look at my subsequent meltdown, haha.

Ugh anyways this got WAY too long (plus by the time I’m actually posting this, we’ve been gushing out essays about this in our dms hahaha, I’m sorry it took so long to post this friggin reply! >_<) so I’ll just cut it here.

[trensu]

Episode 12: The One where Everyone Goes to Evil Summer School and Has a Bad Time

And we’re off to a bad start bc we’re at Evil Summer School and WC is monologuing like the world’s shittiest villain

His flunkies take everyone’s swords and wwx whispers “lan zhan” after watching lwj hand over his sword (LIKE, THE ONE THING HE HAS LEFT OF HIS HOME *SOBS*)

Lwj ignores him tho

And then keeps ignoring him

Be easy on him, folks, he’s overcoming some trauma

We get more useless wc monologuing

But we’ll ignore him and focus instead on how wwx keeps throwing worried little glances at lwj

(hey remember how last episode i told you all about lwj’s capture and subsequent injury even tho it wasn’t wangxian moment?? IT PAYS OFF IN THIS EPISODE WITH MULTIPLE WANGXIAN MOMENTS)

(also, just fyi at this point wwx still doesn’t know what all went down at the cloud recesses or that lwj is injured; i mean yeah, wc bragged to him about it but what, we’re gonna take him at his word? Heck no)

Wc assigns the class homework - Memorizing Wen Clan Rules

So we see wwx being all studious

He and jc are dragging the wen clan for their hypocrisy and then wwx has an Epiphany

Wwx: hey, the Wen clan is so petty, they wouldn’t have just settled for LWJ attending Evil Summer School; they would’ve taken way more hostages I mean disciples!! SOMETHING BAD MUST’VE HAPPENED

And he leaps up with every intention of tracking down LWJ but some wen flunkies are guarding the door so that ends up being a no-go

But wwx is not deterred! No sir, he is coming up with a plan to finally get LWJ’s attention 

We’re back in class at Evil Summer School and wc is all i’m gonna pick ppl to recite the rules bc i’m a douchebag

And ofc he picks lwj, wwx, and jzx

Lwj: Can’t do it. Not today.

Jzx: Yeah, no, that’s Beneath me

Wwx: oh oh pick me!! I can do it!! *raises hand excitedly*

Omg wwx he already picked you, you don’t have to do that

Wc: okay, but if you get it wrong I will Punish you bc i’m an asshole that way

Cue wwx’s Classic Look of Disgust (guys, guys, i just love this expression on his face SO MUCH, i couldn’t even tell you why)

But that look quickly morphs into his Signature Mischievous Grin 

Which he aims at lwj, so ofc it looks SUPER FLIRTY ahhhhh

Lwj continues to ignore him

AGAIN I ASK, how the HELL does he keep doing that??! If i had wwx smile like that at me, he’d have my FULL UNDIVIDED ATTENTION FOREVER

Okay, here’s where a good moment becomes a GREAT moment

Wwx goes up all cocky and starts THEATRICALLY doing STRETCHES even tho all he’s doing is RECITING LINES, OMG, WWX

Wc: GET ON WITH IT

Wwx: right, right, i got this. Okay, listen carefully~!

Wwx: *STARTS RECITING LAN CLAN RULES*

THAT’S MY BOY!!! LOOK AT MY BOY GO! HOLY SHIT, THE AUDACITY. WHAT A BI-CON, I LOVE IT!!

Now lwj FINALLY looks at him!!

And it only took 14min and wwx reciting his clan’s rules to FINALLY GET A REACTION

Wc: HOW DARE YOU RECITE LAN CLAN RULES IN QISHAN

Wwx: oh dear, oh gosh, how foolish of me! I am SO sorry i got them all mixed up!!

And then he literally pats himself on the back with a pleased little smirk

And that’s how jzx, lwj, and wwx end up in Evil Detention carrying manure to the vegetable fields

Lwj is just pouring the manure out of the buckets

Wwx: lan zhan, you want me to find you a scooper?

Lwj: *ignores him*

Jzx: *unwillingly bears witness to this and rolls his eyes*

(don’t even, jzx, you het disaster)

Wwx: hey lan zhan, how come your clan has a silencing spell but not a spell that blocks out gross smells?

Lwj: *picks up empty buckets and leaves, CONTINUING TO IGNORE WWX FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON*

Here wwx just sloppily dumps out his buckets and chases after him

As they walk over to wherever they need to go to refill their buckets, wwx starts asking lwj Plot Questions and generally worrying about him

Which could’ve become a sweet moment

Except that wc shows up to ruin the moment with his, you know, general existence

So obviously wwx has to go and insult wc to his face, right? HE WAS TRYING TO HAVE QUALITY TIME WITH HIS SOULMATE, GODDAMNIT

Wc tries to whip wwx but wwx catches it like a BADASS and is all “don’t try me”

But then wc gets his flunkies to tie up wwx!! (i’m telling you guys, this clan really seems to have a thing for tying/chaining people up)

Lwj sees that his soulmate is defenseless and is like, can’t have that happening and goes to defend him!!

Ugghhh but that ASSHOLE WEN CHAO GOES AND HITS LWJ ON HIS INJURED LEG WHICH SENDS LWJ TUMBLING INTO THE GROUND

Wwx: HEY, leave him alone! I was the one insulting you!!

DO YOU SEE THAT GUYS?? THEY ALWAYS DEFEND EACH OTHER!!

And actually this starts up a general pattern for them: lwj always defends wwx physically and wwx always defends lwj verbally

IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. THEY COVER EACH OTHER’S WEAK SPOTS WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT!! 

(lwj isn’t all that good with words as you know, and wwx has this talent of making everyone around him want to punch him in the face, his beautiful beautiful face)

Wc goes to whip wwx again, but LWJ gets up on his feet in an instant (even with the leg wound!!) and catches the whip ONE-HANDED AND YANKS IT OUT OF WC’S GRASP

LIKE, DON’T FUCKING TOUCH MY SOULMATE YOU SLIMY BASTARD

Obvs he didn’t say that, but you can see it in his eyes that that’s exactly what he was thinking, word-for-word. Trust me on this.

The wen flunkies release wwx who drops to the ground and lwj immediately grabs him by the arm

He doesn’t try to lift him up and he’s not actually holding him up

So why the arm-grabbing?

I’LL TELL YOU WHY

BC HE WANTS TO BE NEAR WWX, THAT’S WHY

And let me remind you that this is the same lwj who’s all “i don’t touch people” back in episode 5: the One with Angry bb!LWJ

Yeah, that rule doesn’t apply to wwx anymore BC SOULMATES

Although in all fairness, who wouldn’t grab onto wwx given half a chance?

Okay now wc monologues some more 

Wwx: wc, stop babbling 

(omg wwx, stop baiting him)

Wc: TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON

Lwj: *BOLTS UPRIGHT ON HIS INJURED LEG AND BLOCKS THEIR WAY*

Srsly, injured leg!! And it doesn’t even slow him down when it comes to protecting wwx!! And he stretches out his arm so his pretty white sleeves mostly cover wwx from view

Wc: don’t worry, the dungeon’s big enough for two (wc you slimy bastard, you’re ruining everyone’s sex dungeon fantasies)

Wwx: *pushes away lwj’s arm* nah, just take me. The dungeon’s bound to be cooler than being out on these sunny fields anyway lol

And now we have this terrible moment where we see wwx be well and truly terrified for the first time in the show

He’s thrown into the dungeon WHILE CHAINED UP and there’s this HUGE MUTANT DOG MONSTER

Poor wwx visibly pales and breaks out into a cold sweat while wen chao mocks him (I HATE HIM SO MUCH)

Okay, i’d like to take a moment here to fully acknowledge that this dog monster thing is, like, really horrible effects-wise. We all know this. But we’re gonna pretend for sake of the Emotional Trauma it causes our darling wwx that it’s actually a big scary thing, okay?

Anyway

WEN NING TO THE RESCUE - knocks out the dog with strategically placed needles and provides wwx Medicine Pouch and Medicine Bottle 

he’s like, i stole medicine for you bc we’re bffs and i’d die for you (which he does eventually lololol I’M SORRY THAT WAS AWFUL)

I’m sure you’re all hey trensu, this isn’t a wangxian moment you said this was a wangxian guide, what the heck

BUT IT IS A WANGXIAN MOMENT and also it sets us up for ANOTHER wangxian moment later on in the show!

It’s a wangxian moment now bc wen ning provides the info wwx has been trying to get this whole time, aka what the heck is up with lwj and the cloud recesses?

Wwx looks utterly DEVASTATED when wn tells him lwj’s home was burned

And when he tells wwx about the wens breaking lwj’s leg?

FUCKING FURIOUS

HE’S SO ANGRY THAT THEY HURT HIS LAN ZHAN

HE PUNCHES THE STONE FLOOR OF HIS CELL WITH AN ALREADY BLOODIED UP HAND

THAT’S HOW ANGRY HE IS

See? Totally a wangxian moment

Oh, and then we see him take like, only one (1) medicine piece from Medicine Bottle and then slips the it and the Medicine Pouch into his robes

Wwx: i’ll save this for lan zhan

I’LL SAVE THIS FOR LAN ZHAN, HE SAYS

HE’S INJURED AND CHAINED UP AND HE’S SAVING THE MAJORITY OF THE MEDICINE FOR LAN ZHAN

BC HE LOVES HIM

AHHHHHH

Okay now we’re back in class (and wtf, wwx has to attend class even after all that??)

Wwx is still looking all wrung-out and bloodied

We see lwj look at wwx all concerned!

Plot stuff happens

More plot stuff

Now we get set up for our last wangxian moment of the episode!!

Wen Flunkie: hey boss, there’s this monster in this mountain that probably someone should get rid off

Wc: oh cool, good thing i’ve got all these hostages i mean cannon fodder I MEAN visiting disciples with me. Let’s do it!

TIME FOR A FIELD TRIP (OF EVIL)!!!

Wen chao is on a horse with his girlfriend while everyone else is walking bc wc is the WORST PERSON

Then oh no, lwj is visibly limping as they go on!!

And wwx looks over and sees lwj limping

~THEIR SONG~ STARTS GENTLY PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AHH AHHHHH

IDK IF YOU GUYS NOTICED YET BUT THAT’S OUR CUE THAT SOME GOOD WANGXIANTICS IS COMING UP

Wwx does not hesitate even a minute to go help him!! BC THAT’S WHAT SOULMATES DO

But JC ofc holds him back (what the heck jc), and he’s all leave him alone, you’ve helped him enough already

And wwx is like, HE JUST LOST HIS HOME, JC!! AND HIS LEG IS BROKEN. WHAT IF HE LOSES HIS LEG??

JC: it’s not like he’ll let you close enough to carry him anyway!!

Wwx: well that’s his choice BUT I STILL GOTTA OFFER BC I LOVE HIM, HE NEEDS TO KNOW IT’S AN OPTION!!

JC: we can’t stick our noses in his business!

Wwx: well SOMEBODY has to help him!!

And he flounces off to go to lwj

Wwx: lan zhan, how’s your leg?

Lwj: it’s fine

He says, y’know, like a liar.

Wwx: hey, we’re friends, you can be honest with me!! Are you sure your leg is okay??

Lwj: it’s fine

GOD DAMN IT LWJ, HE’S TRYING TO HELP YOU

Wwx: don’t pretend it’s fine all the time!! I can carry you~! 

OMG HE SAYS THIS WITH THE SWEETEST, MOST SINCERE SMILE, GUYS

HE WANTS TO HELP LWJ SO BAD

HE WANTS LWJ TO LET HIM CLOSE!! 

BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM, AHHHHH

And with that sweet, sincere smile, the episode ends

On a high note!!

Lovely, lovely, it was lovely, i want to stare at that smile forever

Return to Masterpost

[catsafarithewriter]

“Don’t be mad but.....I stole a dragon’s egg.” Why do I picture Louise saying this to Persephone when she thought a baby dragon would be a great gift but all goes wrong afterwards? Lol just the thought of that makes it funny

I have three separate asks with this specific prompt, so I’m guessing ya’ll really like dragons, huh? XD (Each ask is with a different character too, so I’m doing all three too.) One lost ladies ship coming right up! 

(Inspiration hit suddenly, so for anyone else waiting for their prompts, I shall get to them, I promise!)

x

It had been at least three days since Louise’s last bout of tomfoolery and, really, that should have been Persephone’s first clue that chaos was on the horizon. 

She had grown complacent, she decided in hindsight, and honestly she should have known better. But they were celebrating their anniversary - well, one of their anniversaries; they had married several times in several different worlds - and Persephone had dared to believe they were simply due a romantic walk through an underground market. Browsing, exploring, maybe topping it off with the shadow-puppet show... 

She was just admiring the many masks on display when her wife careened around a corner and grabbed her paw.

“Hello, love!” Louise called over the fast-approaching sounds of chaos. “My darling, my dear...” She hauled Persephone down a tunnel. “My beautiful and wonderfully understanding wife--”

“What have you done?”

“Done? Why would you assume I have done anything?”

“THIEF! CRIMINAL! RUFFIAN!”

Persephone raised an eyebrow at Louise, not the easiest of tasks when one is sprinting down a rapidly narrowing burrow. “Call it a wife’s intuition.”

“Fine! I may... Now, don’t be mad, but I may,” Louise shouted, “have stolen an dragon’s egg.” She motioned to the bag she had tucked under one arm.

“Is that all you’ve done?” Persephone bellowed back. She gestured loosely with her free hand to the hoards of guards hot on their tails. “Oh, thank goodness, and here I was thinking you’d gone and done something reckless!”

"Now, don’t be mad--”

“You should have warned me before pulling a stunt like this!”

“I’m warning you now!”

“You,” Persephone panted, “and I have very different definitions of the word ‘warned’.” They came to a partial cave-in, and she relinquished her wife’s hand as she scaled it with a single running jump. She landed on the other side just in time to see Louise clear it with a spinning flip. 

Persephone gave her A Look. “Careful. Your von Gikkingen is showing.”

“Gotta keep in practice for when I show up my brother.” She wove her hand through Persephone’s paw and continued the helterskelter sprint. “Anyway,” she continued, annoyingly not out of breath yet, “you know we couldn’t just leave it there. They’re the ones selling a dragon’s egg! That should be illegal!”

“I know, but did you consider there were subtler ways to steal it than grabbing it straight off the shop floor?” Persephone demanded. 

“I didn’t just grab it!” Louise retorted, mock-insulted laced into her words.

“Oh Bast, you did the light show, didn’t you?”

“It’s a perfect distraction! Harmless, distracting, snazzy-- OH!” Louise’s wide-brimmed hat flew off as they skidded around a corner, and Persephone caught it with a well-practiced snatch.

“I keep telling you that you should get elastic for this thing,” Persephone admonished. 

“It would spoil the look though.”

“It’ll spoil the look even more if you lose it or it flies off into a river somewhere.”

They slowed as they came to an empty tunnel, dimly-lit with infrequently-used torches, and Persephone passed the hat back to Louise. It sounded like they had thrown off their pursuers by scaling the cave-in. “So, now we’re the caretakers of one dragon egg. Any ideas how we’re going to get it back to its kind?”

“We could always look after it,” Louise offered. She gently rolled the egg out of the bag and admired its shimmering sky-blue surface. “Just until we find its family again. I mean, how hard can looking after a dragonette be?”

Persephone, who had already gone through motherhood once, and that had been with a kitten and not a flying lizard with the ability to spit fire, snorted. “Louise, honey, we are not raising a dragon.”

“I mean, of course we aren’t; we need to get this little fella back to his folks, but having a dragon on our side would be pretty neat, wouldn’t it?”

“HALT! Come back and pay for that, thief!”

Out of nowhere, a short, chameleon-like creature appeared, no taller than the cats’ waists and sporting yellow streaking pattern across its face. 

“This?” Persephone asked to Louise. “This is who you stole from?”

“It’s not my proudest moment, but--”

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” she demanded. 

“He was selling a dragon’s egg!” Louise protested. “It’s not stealing if you take something that was already stolen!”

The shopkeeper bared its teeth. “If you don’t pay for it, then I’ll have to make you.”

Louise stepped forward, wielding her parasol between them. “Oh yeah? And who’s going to make me? Persephone, hold the egg.”

“I’ve got the egg. But, Louise--”

Louise threw back the kind of confidently charming smile that Persephone had fallen in love with - and also the kind of smile that usually preceded something reckless. “Don’t worry, love. I think I’ve got this covered.”

“Uh-huh,” Persephone said, all while really wishing that for once, just once, Louise would read up on the worlds before charging into them. She stood back and waited to intercede when she was needed. She watched as Louise swung her parasol in a loose arc designed to firmly knock the shopkeeper off-balance and then miss as the creature vanished. 

“It looks like a chameleon, but its skin is actually more akin to cuttlefish,” Persephone called. “It can change colour to blend in with its background.”

“And you’re -- ow -- you’re only telling me this -- ow -- now? Stop biting me!”

“It’s called practical learning!” Persephone said. 

“And what am I learning? Ow! Cut that out, you little--”    

“To include your wife in your criminal habits. And maybe plan things out for once in your life.”

“Sure, sure -- ow -- next time I’ll draw up a diagram for you.” 

A lucky swing of the parasol found its mark and something slammed into a cave wall. The nothingness shimmered, and yellow scales glitched into view. Beady black eyes stared at them. 

“See?” Louise panted. She straightened, rolling her shoulders back, and approached the shopkeeper. “That wasn’t so difficult.”

“Alright, dear. Just watch out for it’s--”

Persephone faltered as the shopkeeper snapped open its mouth and shot out a long, long pink tongue that slapped Louise’s cheek. 

“--tongue...”

“It licked me! Did you see that! It licked me! It... oooh, that can’t be good...”

Persephone gently set the egg to one side, and rose to her paws. “Let me guess: tingles, sparks, and now you’re beginning to lose all feeling in your cheek?”

“That about sums it up.”

“Then you’d better sit down before the paralysis spreads to the rest of you and makes you sit down.”

“Paralysis?”

“Relax. It’ll wear off.” Persephone ducked as the tongue made another attack and squatted down in front of the shopkeeper. “Hello, sir.”

“Pay up,” he growled.

“No, I don’t think I’m going to do that,” Persephone said. “And before you even consider another lick, just remember that I have a cutlass strapped to each side that can fell ship masts, so consider what it can do to a tongue.” She casually leant both arms on the pummel of each weapon. 

The shopkeeper swallowed nervously and pursed his lips shut. 

“And, given from the almighty smack you’ve just taken, I’m going to guess that your camouflage ability has taken a jolt. Don’t worry - once the stress wears off, you’ll be as as good as new, minus one of your wares. But you’re not going to be vanishing any time soon, am I right? Don’t speak, just nod.”

The shopkeeper nodded. 

“Now,” Persephone continued, “what my wonderful, but slightly over-enthusiastic wife said earlier is true. It’s not really stealing if the thing in question was already stolen. And what you have - had, sorry - is most definitely not something that would be parted for any money. In fact,” and she tilted her head to one side, recounting the facts, “I believe trading dragon eggs is illegal in all worlds in this sector, am I correct?”

Another nod. 

“And a fine, upstanding merchant like yourself would never dream of selling the eggs of a sentient species. So, what is going to happen is this; we are going to go our separate ways - my wife and I will return this egg to the family that you ‘found’ this from, and you are going to go home and reconsider your life choices, capiche?”

More frantic nodding. 

“Good, good. Louise, how are you faring?”

“My legs feel like ants are running up and down them.”

“Ah, that’ll be the pins and needles stage. You’re about a sixth of the way there.”

“Wonderful.” 

Persephone knelt down by her wife and lifted Louise into her arms, balancing precariously to sit the egg in Louise’s dipped lap.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Louise mumbled.

“Not in the last hour, but you’d better make it quick before the paralysis hits your tongue.” Persephone glanced back to stare daggers at the shopkeeper, just daring him to attempt anything, before her attention was called back to her passenger just as the paralysis did indeed hit Louise’s tongue. “Love, please stop talking. You’re drooling on my coat.”

Louise slurred something that may have been, ‘I love you,’ in the very loosest sense of the phrase. 

Persephone kissed her forehead. “I love you too. Now close your mouth otherwise I’m going to tell your brother all about this little adventure.”

Louise made a disgruntled sound but didn’t attempt to add anything.  

And now off to return a dragon egg to its family. 

How difficult could that be?  

[tonya-the-chicken]

I wrote this post some time ago as a reply to someone and now I somehow want to post it again with some changes lol

TW: mentions of murder, referenced canon abuse and swearing

Let’s talk about redemption arcs and people’s overwhelming desire to punish fictional characters for what they did... Inspired by Endeavor hate ngl... I mostly speak about fictional charcters in this post so pllease, don’t go dumb and understand that fictional characters and irl people should be treated differently

I think sometimes people don`t understand why punishment exists in our society at all. Like, why couldn`t we just forgive? Why punishment is needed? Oh, I would like to talk about behavioural psychology, but it is kinda creepy so instead let`s remember what my teacher of LAWS said(idk what you call it in your bitchass America)

Punishment basically serves two functions:

Preventative (show others and a person that they can’t just get away with their deeds). Like, if you knew that there are no negative consequences, wouldn`t you do it? Wouldn`t you kill the old lady?

Correction and all work with a person in general (for example, you can be forced to go through some psychological help)

Also, I lied there’s one more: compensation. Like, if you stole something, then bring money back, you little shit. Or pay for therapy for your victim

So when we put it into stories and so popular nowadays redemption arcs (which I fucking adore if they are done correctly) we have 4 points out of this 3 cause the first one can be put into two

Character is punished to show others that this is not something you should do (it’s a kinda societal thing and has nothing to do with character in particular. This point in general is not interesting because it doesn’t drives changes in person by itself)

Character is punished so he himself would think twice before doing this shit again (we can’t know if person’s remorse is genuine so it’s better to simply scare them. But I can allow skipping this point if person’s remorse is clealy shown to be genuine and we as readers understand that. That’s probably the big distinction we, as readers, should see: while irl we never know persons true motives, work of fiction can provide them to us clearly)

Character changes and understands what is wrong in what he has done (the part of redemption we all love and enjoy)

Characters work hard to correct or atone for their mistakes

As we can see first two bullets has nothing to do with character development and serve for the purpose of maintaining order. The third one IS a character development and the last one is what makes people actually forgive horrible actions and not go ape shit I guess. But for some of us nothing is enough, isn`t it?

And there is one more shit that is often in redemption arcs and that shit is great and I fucking love it

Explanation of the character’s behaviour, their reasoning and motivation

I truly enjoy reading about WHY characters behave a certain way but people, remember, SAD BACKSTORY IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Same goes to your mental problems and hard life situation. The fact that behaviour can be explained doesn’t mean shit. Like, behaviour also follows certain laws and despite the fact that it’s sometimes hard to understand all the details we still theoretically can explain ANY BEHAVIOUR. Does this mean we can excuse any behaviour? HELL NO

So remember folks, “They had their reasons to do this” means nothing most of the time. “I wanted to try how it feels” is actually a valid reason to kill someone, you know. Of course, if crimes is not severe, reasoning suddenly can be very important like we won`t punish harshly someone who stole bread cause he is starving or cause he has kleptomania (I mean as a literal disorder). But even in that case you must pay back money cause like stealing is bad but eat the rich

let`s talk examples from bnha cause why not

Endeavour

We have Enji oh my baby you have done so much stupid shit you dumbass. Sad backstory even if will be brought up in the future, currently is not a focus of redemption at all. Like, he even doesn`t explain his behaviour too much. “He want to be the strongest, so he decided that even if his genes will make it to the top it will be enough. As a result,  blinded by his goal,   he abused his family”. Basically, it`s all the explanation we have right now. And if Hori stops at it I will be fine with it. Honestly, as much as I want to learn more about Enji’s past if Horikoshi leaves everything at this I would give him nothing but mad respect cause... This kind of shows that your reasoning doesn’t matter that much if you did horrifying things

So 3 points to redeem someone

Enji didn’t suffer any punishment for his actions (nightmares are considered punishment only if you believe in God. Also, too weak, God, try harder... And same goes for High-End). When I think about him being punished I actually worry about society’s reaction cause, like, he is number 1 hero and the fact that he’s an abuser will be, like, very shocking to simple people.Trust in hero will fall harder than my will to live during 2020. And honestly, media would just turn this into a drama possibly hurting other members of his family, like.... Enji being legally punished for his action would be an interesting plotline but in general I am not a fan

We see his genuine remorse and character growth. We all agree that he even is drawn differently now changed and trying to become a better person, yeah? Clumsily at first, but he genuinely works hard to be a better peron, hero and father. I can respecct that

Compensation… Well, you can exactly “correct” trauma so he should pay up for psychologists for each child he probably should follow the path of atonement and try to give them something he robbed them from. Like, go to family dinners with Fuyumi even though every last one of them is a disaster and nobody is happy to be there. Or make everything possible to provide Rei calm life with her children (like building a new house, yes, this is an amazing thing) or at least become *reducted cause I wanna this post to be serious and SFW*... Tbh I have nothing to say, he himself says multiple times that he seeks nothing but atonment, not even forgiveness

So like you better work bitch to make your family happy bastard... [And tbh they seem so much better then when I first wrote this post, I am so proud of you, my garbage fire man]

Overhaul

In no way is he redeemed but somehow people put Overhaul and Endeavor stans in the same category so here he goes

Kai has something Enji doesn’t: very good and detailed explanation, a plan, a smart reasoning. His wrong deeds were basically for a better good he believed in. But we all collectively hate him for what he done to Eri despite his actions having r E A S o n S. Dude has some MOTIVATION. So like yeah bros. It makes him an interesting character and he is an amazing villain but dude deserves to rot in prisons. He shows no remorse and I am gonna bet he won`t even think about somehow helping others. Dude is a shitty person. And I fucking love him

So let’s go for our 3 bullets again

Punishment. Yes, he is punished, he is in jail with both his hands cut off. Would it make people forgive him? Nah

Personal growth. I would like to see it but as far we saw barely no growth... Though maybe being in jail without quirk will make his brain work

Atonement... Dude has a Messiah complex, I ain’t waiting for that anytime soon

So I asked myself if I had two men: one who spent a sentence in jail for child abuse but is more or less the same person and another who wasn’t punished for his abuse but feel genuine remorse and actively try to make things better who will I choose? Of course, I will choose Pikachu

But is it possible to redeem Overhaul? I wonder if there`s a force in this world strong enough to make him become a better person. Welp... I am a sucker for redemptions, justt letting you know

All for One

Oh, he is irredeemable (and this is sexy). Why is he here? Cause, well

Even if he is punished there`s no punishment severe enough to describe how horrifying his deeds are

Even if he is to feel remorse… he has like 500 years or something??? And he didn`t feel anything killing people??? So why would he change today?

Even if he atone for what he’s done… I am to believe he started at least a civil war. You can`t atone for that bitch. You crossed all fucking lines, all fucking lines

AfO is literally the most evvil man in bnha... I don’t want to see him redeemed cause I love characters that are pure evil and I love the despair of realizing you can’t fix what you have done. Though you are free to have a different opinion! Who knows, maybe Horikoshi will make a classy redemption for him and I will scream out of excitement? Cause I am that kind of bitch??? Who knows! I just love to think Doctor Ujiko is gay for him

Anyway, why do people like to make this characters suffer? Like, Endeavor, Minoru, Overhaul, many others? Is this part of the “punishment” to feel like person paid for their deeds? Or do people just like fictional violence and punishing “bad” characters make them feel good about themselves? Who knows

I have no idea what this post is about I want to sleep and I like Enji though if you dislike him this is fine. I hope it was interesting reading this, love you all bye

Don’t kill me for my controversial takes, I am depressed

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Saturdate With Lan Zhan Pt. 1

So in order to get things off on the right foot, I got up EXTRA early on Saturday. On purpose. Of my own free will. 

I wanted to get a full day of this. SO I told Lan Zhan to meet me at that hobby shop we met at before for that walk we took at 9 in the morning. Oh that seems so long ago now but it wasn’t. 

So much has been happening in my life lately it feels unreal. 

Anyway, 9AM. That meant I had to get up early enough to get ready and walk there (Hell if I was lettin’ my skateboard ruin my hair that day).

I had wanted this day to help Lan Zhan unwind from last weekend. I know how tough that was for him. I wanted this to be a GOOD day. I think I succeeded.

Well… I wanted that… but also… I kinda just wanted to go on a date. Which really… I mean… it wasn’t a date. And I shouldn’t have treated it like one. Especially since…. 

Well at the very least if I wanted it to be a date I probably should have TOLD him that. But I was being selfish. I doubt he would have said yes if I asked him out as a romantic thing. But as friends… then I could just pretend for a while. And I did. Hardcore. I’m… a bit ashamed of how I acted. But what’s done is done. (Despite the common opinion I do actually feel shame sometimes. A lot of times actually….)

The point of all that is that I decided to dress up some even. I put on my nicest jeans (the ones that make my ass look fucking amazing), and this nice like jacket/scarf combo. The scarf was a gift from Shijie way back when. She knitted it herself for me with this SUPER soft yarn. Its’ this nice deep red and nice and big. I love it so much. I’d wear it all the time if it weren’t sure to give me heatstroke in the summer. Well that and I want it to last as long as possible. 

(I think I actually stole the jacket from Jiang Cheng way back when but eh details details). 

So I got up early to get dressed and like actually BRUSH my hair n shit. Again, though many would ne’er believe me, I do, in fact, own a hairbrush thankyouverymuch. My hair’s just still short enough that I don’t normally need it. Besides the messy out of bed look is sexy right? Right??

AAAAAnywaaaay

I managed to wake up on time and got out the door after all my primping with enough spare time to get a coffee! I actually timed it perfectly. It’s easy when Lan Zhan is always perfectly punctual. (It’s impressive really. Neither late nor early. Just perfectly on time). I got a coffee with like ALL the caffeine for me so that I didn’t hate life when Lan Zhan showed up, and I got a tea for him. And I timed it so it’d be the perfect drinking temp by the time he showed up!

Sometimes the best laid plans actually work ha!

Admittedly I probably should have started drinking my coffee sooner, heat be damned because I was probably a little more than half asleep by the time Lan Zhan showed up to pick me up. Heh. But nothing better than waking up to see Lan Zhan’s face no matter what the circumstance!

Didn’t spill our drinks so still counting it as a win. 

I was about to get up and just jump in the car but this perfect human being got OUT to greet me and gave me a nice warm hug! (It was only a bit chilly but I was tempted to complain about how cold it was so he’d hold me tighter. Resisted. Barely.)

I will never get enough of the feeling of being in his arms. Never. 

Anyway we climbed back into the (nice and toasty) car and got ourselves all buckled in (safety first folks!). And then idiot that I am I realized that my map was still in my pocket, unbuckled my seatbelt to get it out and buckled up again before I smoothed it out. 

Lan Zhan raised a perfect eyebrow at me and tried to sneak a peek at my paper but I snatched it away before he could ruin the surprise. 

Told him no peeking allowed!

He pointed out he could punch in the address into his fancy car GPS like a normal human but that would spoil it!!!

I told him he was just gonna have to trust me. He looked a bit dubious (fair) but consented. 

Okay so… turns out I actually DO need to be more careful when I’m writing. There were a few instructions that even I had trouble reading what with the paper being so crumpled and having written in a rush because I almost forgot this morning. Smudged the ink a few places too. 

Lan Zhan probably lost a bit of confidence in me after we nearly missed our turn offs the second… and third…… and…  well either way! No peeking means no peeking! 

And I got us there JUST fine in the end!

I think for a moment Lan Zhan lost ALL confidence in me when I made him pull into this parking lot that was really just a large field. There were other cars parked there but other than that all you could see was corn and hay bales. 

And a giant sign of WELCOME. It was cute! We got out of the car and I took a deeeeeeep breath. It smelled like leaves and pumpkin and apple cider and mini donuts and just oooof. The best of all the Autumn aromas. 

Lan Zhan asked where we were, but I just grinned at him and told him to trust me again. We got in the fortunately very fast moving line to get in. There was an entrance fee but I was prepared! I already had my money in my hand so Lan Zhan couldn’t be sneaky and pay for it instead. He likes to do that but I was adamant that today was going to be my treat! This was for him after all and I wanted to treat him.  

He looked a little put out but I grinned at him and told him “Everything is on me today. Anything you want, you tell me!” and then I STARED HIM DOWN basically DARING him to disagree.

He stared back for a long moment but eventually signed softly and agreed. 

VICTORY!!!

Before he could change his mind and start fussing, I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. My heart was going a million miles an hour because now was the moment of truth. 

I stepped away from him and spread my arms wide like I was some weird person showing prizes on a game show. 

“Ta-Daaaaaa! It’s a Corn Maze!!!” 

And it was.

Lol

Have y’all ever been to a corn maze? I only went once with the Jiangs shortly after I was taken in by them. I think Uncle Jaing wanted to make a good impression. We all went as a family. Even Madam Yu.  (She pretended to hate it but I know she enjoyed being able to spend time with her kids without anything else going on. Even if she had to deal with me being there too.)

I’d been looking for a place for a while when I stumbled across this one. It isn’t the same one I went to as a kid. Actually I think this one’s even bigger. It had everything!! Music, food, a petting zoo, crafts and games and just everything! And an apple orchard out back! 

I kinda stayed there with my arms up, probably looking like the world’s stupidest scare crow. I was trying not to be disappointed because he looked… well more confused than anything. 

“It’s a pun. Get it? A Maize Maze. Corn Maze. Maize…. Pun…” 

He nodded at me (i finally put my arms down) and asked me what we were supposed to do. 

I’d thought it was a bit self-explanatory but then the poor man hadn’t even been to the movies before a couple of weeks ago. (We went together on one of our saturdates and it was wonderful)

So I started pointing out all the things we could do. There was the maze, of course, but also live music and the petting/feeding zoo. I pointed to the crafting section and the orchard and there was even a corn bath! 

I think.. He kinda broke at that. XD The look of a man who was completely lost. 

“A corn… bath?”

“Yeah it’s literally just a pit filled with corn.”

He gave me this LOOk then. Oh dear god I just wanted to kiss him. He looked so adorably perplexed. But he just nodded like he was accepting it. 

I started to lose confidence as I was talking about the apple orchard and the hay ride. 

I started to give him an out because clearly this was a horrible idea and of course he wouldn’t be interested in such a childish bunch of activities. I said we could leave if he wanted. 

He assured me that no it was fine and that he wanted to do all the activities with me. Told me he’d just never done anything like this before. I kinda knew that already but every time I realize how limited his childhood was it just breaks my heart.

TBC.

[nickelkeep]

Slice of Your Pie

Pairings: Dean/Cas, Naomi/Zachariah Rating: Mature Word Count: 6900 Warnings: Homophobic Language, Sexism, Dean going off.  On Ao3

It wasn't like Gabe to call before noon. Usually, because Castiel was working and Gabe knew better, but also because Gabe would be in the middle of a busy shift at one of his bakeries. Castiel hesitantly picked up the phone, grateful for the week off from his job.

"Gabe, are you in prison?"

"Come on, Cassie. Is that the only reason I would call you?" Gabe's voice was boisterous yet nervous. "I'm just checking in on my favorite baby brother."

"I'm your only baby brother." Castiel pulled the phone away from his ear to confirm the time. "Shouldn't you be elbow deep in flour or something, right now?"

"Nope. All three shops are under control, and I took the week off to fly in. Staying with Mom and Dad, you know?" Gabe's happy charade was faltering, and Castiel had a feeling of what was coming. "It's always great being home. Especially when I get to spend time with my favorite brother."

"Still, your only brother. Did Anna say no to you crashing at her place?" Castiel leaned back in his couch and kicked his legs up on the coffee table, careful to not disturb the stack of papers he had been grading.

"Anna's out of town until Thanksgiving, and something about she doesn't trust me to not burn down her house."

Castiel laughed. "That's a legitimate concern. Are you asking to crash here?"

"Actually, no. Mom and Dad have left me alone, for the most part." Gabe let out a heavy sigh, as though he had been burdened with the most laborious task on the planet. "Are you coming for Thanksgiving?"Castiel pulled the phone away and looked at the clock on it for the third time. "Gabe, have you been drinking?"

"Look, I told them it would be pointless, but they didn't listen. They want all three of us there for the holiday. Dad said he's getting up there in age, and he wants to be surrounded by his children and non-existent grandchildren."

"Like he's getting grandchildren from any of us." Castiel rolled his eyes. "No. I'm not coming."

"You know that's not going to fly." Gabe suddenly sounded exhausted. "Me and Anna will be here."

"Great, then he's got his two kids, happy marriage and white picket fence. Make sure you pick up a dog for him before you leave."

"Castiel, please. Don't make me beg. Or sic Anna on you."

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "Anna's smart enough to not call or to tell our parents to piss off."

"It's just a couple hours on one day. You can cold shoulder them and give them the good old silent treatment." Gabe's voice took on a subtle hint of pleading. "Help me get them off my case and yours."

"I'm much happier spending my Thanksgiving at home with take out and a movie marathon. I might be alone, but at least I'm not getting attacked every other word out of their mouths." Castiel rubbed his forehead, trying to erase the thought of going to his parents for the holiday.

"That was one year, Cassie."

"Excuse me? What fiasco have you been watching?" Castiel stood up and moved to the kitchen to get a beer. "'Why are you single, Castiel?' 'Are you over your phase, Castiel?' 'Castiel, are you going to find a nice woman and give us grandkids?'" Castiel scoffed. "Don't even get me started on the digs they take at my job."

Gabe took in a suction of air, indicating that he was working on an idea. After a pause, he spoke up. "Bring a date."

"Right, like I'm going to find a guy to date me in less than a week." Castiel rolled his eyes.

"There are escort services, Cassie." Gabe paused. "Wait, that's it. There's also Craig's List. See if you can find a date for the day."

"That's ridiculous."

"I'm serious, hop on, look in the area, and check out casual encounters. That's got to be someone else looking for someone to spend the day with."

Castiel rolled his eyes and grabbed his laptop off the coffee table. "I thought that was for more... intimate encounters."

"HA! Like I'd send you to that part of the website. I certainly don't want to picture my baby bro doing the do with a dude."

"But, you just want me to bring a random person to Mom and Dad's to keep them off your back and mine." Castiel cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he typed in the address for Craig's List. "Look, I make no promises. If I don't make it, you can tell them that their worst fear came to fruition."

Gabe laughed. "That you married some random guy behind their backs, and you're moving to Venice to be Gondolier Captains."

"Maybe that one would push father over the edge." Castiel laughed. "Maybe this isn't a bad idea. I'll call you tomorrow with a definite answer. You and I both know either are good."

"That's my Castiel." The warm affection caused Castiel to smile. "Please give it a sincere look over, ok?"

Castiel promised to give it the old college try and disconnected his call with Gabe.

He pulled up the Casual Encounters section of Craig's List and was surprised to find out how right Gabe was. Many people were offering their services for Thanksgiving company. As he scrolled through the ads, one with an interesting title caught his attention.

Alone on Thanksgiving? Want to stop the ‘Why are you still single?’ questions?

I’m a 35-year-old guy with a GED and a loud, beautiful muscle car that’s older than I am. When people try to guess my age, I get anywhere from 32-38 depending on if I’ve taken the time to put on clothes that aren’t holey jeans and flannel shirts and do my hair. I work as a cook in my friend’s restaurant and tend bar for an aunt when I need extra cash. So if you’re looking for a platonic person to be your SO for a day, I can do it.

I am bisexual, so I don’t care if you’re male or female.

At your request, I can:

Hit on family members (including your parents).

Start an argument over politics and religion (I’m a liberal atheist).

and/or

Propose to you (I have a ring that works perfectly for this).

I can also act drunk as a skunk, but I personally don’t drink. I’ve been sober for a few years now. Need a ‘drunken’ fistfight started? I’m your guy.

I’m not looking for payment other than the free meal that comes from accompanying you.

Castiel smiled. This was perfect. It was a guy, he would appear to be less than to his folks, and he promised that he could cause a ruckus. Castiel quickly clicked the contact link and got their number to text them.

[1:00 PM Castiel:] Hi, I just found your add on Craig's List. Is your thanksgiving dinner date offer still open?

He waited several minutes, scrolling through a few more adds, just in case, when his phone's notification for a text message went off.

[1:07 PM 555-555-6767:] Hey, yeah. I didn't think anyone was interested, or it got buried. Name's Dean. You?

Castiel smiled, this crazy idea might actually work.

[1:09 PM Castiel:] My name is Castiel, and I am very interested in you pissing off my parents.

Castiel hit send and realized he needed more information about the random stranger he invited to Thanksgiving with him. As he got ready to send a request to meet in public, Dean beat him to it.

[1:12 PM Dean:] Interesting name there. You free in about an hour to meet? Would kinda like to see you and talk to you before I conform. It also sells the dating thing better. [1:15 PM Dean:] Any particular place where we can meet?

Castiel sighed out a breath of relief before sucking in a breath of panic. Where could they meet?

[1:17 PM Castiel:] A cup of coffee or tea, maybe? I only know of Right Ground, but they're good.

[1:19 PM Dean:] Oh hell yeah! My friend is the owner. The petite redhead?

[1:20 PM Castiel:] Charlie, right? I've seen her a couple of times.

[1:22 PM Dean:] Perfect! I get off soon and can head right over.

[1:24 Castiel:] Sounds good. What should I look for?

[1:30 Dean] Black Impala. She's my pride and joy. If you're looking for me, Sandy Brown hair, Green Eyes, lots of freckles, and uh...

[1:31 Castiel:] What?

Castiel tilted his head in confusion as he waited for Dean's reply. Was this going to be where he mentioned he had a humpback?

[1:36 Dean:] I'm a bit bowlegged. I've been told it's a bit of a turnoff, but I figured I'd be honest upfront.

Castiel let out a laugh of relief.

[1:38 Castiel:] There is nothing wrong with bowlegs. I've heard they make some things easier. 😘

As soon as Castiel sent the message, he instantly wished he could take it back. Instead, he quickly sent a follow-up message.

[1:39 Castiel:] I'm going to go get ready. See you in about 25 minutes.

Castiel let out a huff of air while waiting for lighting to strike, or a boulder to be dropped on him.

[1:41 Dean:] LOL! See you soon, dude. (Dude, right?)

Castiel didn't get a chance to respond as he quickly hopped in the shower and got ready to meet Dean for the first time.

…

Castiel had arrived slightly ahead of his and Dean's arranged meeting time. He didn't see a black Impala anywhere, and when he walked inside, there were no men that matched Dean's initial description. Castiel headed to a corner seat that he normally tried to grab when he went to get coffee and found it surprisingly empty.

He sat down, facing the entrance with his back against the wall. A little kernel of self-doubt starting to grow in the back of his mind. Charlie was behind the counter, and he briefly wondered if Dean texted her to tell him to keep an eye for him.

Castiel went to grab his phone to check the time when the low rumble of a muscle car stopped him. He stole another glance at Charlie, and a huge smile crept upon her face. Castiel looked out the front windows. Dean's black Chevy Impala pulled into a spot, and out exited Adonis himself.

Dean didn't give himself enough credit when he described himself. The sandy brown hair was styled short and looked as though it would be soft for Cas to run his fingers through. And the freckles! Dean was a walking star map, and Cas wanted to trace his fingers along the freckles he could see. The only thing he couldn't see were Dean's self-proclaimed green eyes.

Once Dean entered the cafe, Charlie yelled to him and ran out from behind the counter. She wrapped her arms around him and started animatedly yelling at him for not checking in often enough. Dean graciously accepted her punishment and walked further into the shop. Castiel could finally make out the bowlegs that Dean appeared to be self-conscience about. If anything, the legs emphasized everything perfectly.

Castiel shook his head once, twice, and a third time for good measure. This was supposed to be a professional business interaction. He stood up while sliding out of the booth and walked over to Dean and Charlie. "Hello, I'm sorry for interrupting, but are you Dean?"

Charlie looked at Castiel and smiled before looking back at Dean. "You come to my shop for a date, Winchester? Not to see me? I'm offended. Now you don't get that slice of pie." She punched Dean in the shoulder.

"Hey! It wasn't my idea, it was Cas'. He said he liked your coffee." Dean looked at Castiel.

"He is right, I can show you the text message." Castiel reached for his phone in his pocket before finding his hand being swatted away. 

"I believe him, and you. Gotta give the old man shit, though."

"Old man?" Dean blinked in shock. "I'm offended."

Charlie shrugged and walked back around the counter. "If you two want drinks, get up here and order before we have the final rush of the day."

"After you, Cas." Dean gestured. "Also, is Cas ok? Not sure how to pronounce your full name."

"Cas - Tee - Ell. But Cas is fine. If anything, it would infuriate my mother and father more." Cas smiled. "My brother calls me Cassie, I hate it, but I let him get away with it."

"Okay, one brother. Any other siblings?" Dean smiled at Cas.

Cas blushed from Dean's smile, "I have my brother Gabriel and my sister Anna."

"Are they part of the deal? Or are they off-limits?" Dean asked. "I mean, I clearly know you want me to go after your pops at the very least."

"You can jab at them if they jab at you." Cas conceded. "Looking for someone to come with me was actually Gabe's idea. So he may not appreciate being a part of the prank."

"Okay. We can play that by ear."

Cas tilted his head. "You said you wanted to see if we clicked before you agreed to the whole thing."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Dean winked. "So, tell me about your parents?"

The pair got up to the counter before Cas could answer, and Charlie sat down two cups in front of them. "Dean, black americano with room for cream. Cas, if I remember correctly, spiced chai latte."

"Thank you, Charlie," Cas responded as he went to grab his wallet.

"I threw it on Dean's tab. You two have a fun date." Charlie winked at them and shooed them so she could get to the next customer.

Dean blushed and looked at Cas and mouthed Sorry before picking up his cup and walking over to where they kept the cream.

Cas took the opportunity to grab his booth back and waited for Dean to join him. "So, you asked about my parents?"

"They're the targets, right?"

"Yeah." Cas nodded and took a sip of his drink. "My mother is Naomi, my father is Zachariah."

Dean held a finger up as he finished taking a drink. "Your family highly religious?"

"What gave that away?" Cas tried to hide his disdain, but by the look on Dean's face, he wasn't doing a good job.

"Gabriel, Castiel, Zachariah... Pretty sure there's a Naomi in the bible too." Dean placed a finger on his lips. "Not too sure about Anna."

"Prophetess in Luke's Gospel," Castiel responded.

Dean nodded in quiet contemplation. He paused a moment, and Castiel could see the gears turning. "Safe to assume you're gay or bi?"

"Very much Gay. I've been told it's a phase my whole life. My parents keep asking when I'm going to bring a girlfriend home. You're the first 'boyfriend' I'm bringing home." Castiel took another sip of his drink.

"Got it. What do you do for a living?"

"High School English Teacher." Cas scoffed. "Reason number two hundred fifty-one I'm a disappointment."

"Being a teacher is a disappointment?" Dean shook his head. "Well, I'll make sure that they know I'm a cook by day, bartender by night. I'm sure they'll love that."

"Your sarcasm is perfect. They both hate sarcasm, despite it being their first form of communication." Cas leaned back in his chair. "They definitely look down their noses at people too."

"Well, I'm sold. Food, chaos, and spending time with an attractive man?" Dean rested his elbows on the table and rest his chin on his knuckles. "This may be one of my best Thanksgiving in years." Dean winked. "What time should I pick you up?"

…

Over the next few days, Cas found himself texting back and forth with Dean frequently. He kept trying to remind himself that it was just so they could get to know each other so they could pass off as a couple on Thanksgiving. However, with the way that Dean flirted, it was harder and harder to keep that line from blurring.

[Wednesday 3:47 PM Dean:] Hey Cas, I know I'm supposed to be an asshole, but should I attempt to bring something with me?

Cas laughed, picturing how his mother would react if she were brought a gift from Dean.

[3:49 PM Cas:] You don't have to bring anything at all, although the image of my mother turning up her nose is both amusing and disappointing.

[3:51 PM Dean:] So, bring a six-pack of cheap beer. Got it.

[3:52 PM Cas:] You're incorrigible.

Cas found himself setting a special notification for Dean's text messages. He fought hard against doing it, as they were going to go their separate ways after Thanksgiving. Still, it seemed like something you would do for a significant other.

He heard the notification go off, and he picked his phone up again.

[4:00 PM Dean:] If I were a betting man, I'd bet that you liked it though.

Cas found that he couldn't disagree.

…

Cas' parents, completely surprised that he was coming and bringing a date, asked Cas to arrive around 3 PM on Thanksgiving.

Dean showed up at 1:30 PM.

"Hey, Cas." Dean stood in the doorway to Cas' apartment and leaned against the doorframe.

Cas couldn't help the smile that grew across his face. Dean was dressed up in a nice pair of jeans with a black tee-shirt and an open deep red button-up. "Hello, Dean." He stepped back to let Dean in. "You're early."

"I hope you don't mind. I was a little nervous." Dean smiled sheepishly. "Meeting the parents is kind of a big deal."

"That was the whole deal, Dean. You join me, free dinner, you make them regret telling me to come to dinner."

Dean's smile dropped a little, so slight that Cas almost missed it. "Right. I knew that."

"Everything okay, Dean?" Cas stepped closer and placed his hand gently on Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah, of course." Dean's face betrayed his words, but Cas let it go. "I figured I could also come over and help you load anything that might need to go with us in the car."

Cas frowned, unhappy at seeing this side of Dean. "Want to take a seat? We have some time to kill."

"Actually, can I hit the head? Then we can pack up Baby. You said it takes about 45 minutes to get there on a good day, and there is some traffic."

"Yeah," Cas responded as he pointed to the hallway. "First door on the left." He watched as Dean stepped away, wondering what changed so drastically.

Dean quickly finished up in the bathroom and found Cas in the kitchen, juggling a casserole and a couple of pies. "Dude, please tell me your pies are good."

"As long as they don't hit the floor, they should be." Cas smiled and allowed Dean to take them off his pile. "I remember Charlie teasing you about pie, so I stopped in special to ask what kind you like."

"Pecan?" Dean asked, a huge grin coming back across his face when Cas nodded. "Dude, you went to Charlie to ask her? Why didn't you just ask me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise, to thank you for this week." The next words escaped Cas' lips before he could stop them. "I'm glad that at the very least, I got to make a new friend out of this."

"Well yeah, Charlie's awesome," Dean responded without missing a beat.

Cas rolled his eyes. "I mean you, Dean."

"I, uh..." Dean's cheeks flushed scarlet as he stuttered over his words. "You're awesome too, Cas."

"Come on, then, let's go load up your car." Cas held up the casserole dish and nodded his head towards the front door. "Sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave."

The pair of them quickly loaded up the car, and Dean handed Cas his phone to punch in his parent's address. The first few minutes of the drive were quiet, as Cas appreciated the roar of the engine. 

"So, uh, Cas." Dean broke the silence once they got on the highway. "Question for you."

"I'm listening." Cas looked over at Dean and took a moment to admire his outline, highlighted by the sun. 

"Well, we determined that we've been together for a few months and that we met when you came by my place of work. But, uh, are you ok with a little PDA to sell it?" Dean's cheeks turned bright red again, as though he were embarrassed to ask.

Cas slid a little closer to Dean to be able to reach his hand and hold it. When his skin brushed against Dean's, it was as though sparks of electricity shot through his body, and Cas shivered involuntarily.

"Okay there, Cas?" Dean stole a glance at Cas and smirked, before returning his eyes to the road.

Cas nodded as he found his words lacking. They enjoyed the rest of the ride in comfortable silence, only the music and the occasional hum from Dean filling the car.

Once they arrived, Cas took a moment to look at Dean and give him a final once over. The shade of red he was wearing was enticing and made his freckles and eyes pop more than Cas would have thought possible. It had taken all of Cas' willpower to not trace over them with his finger.

"Ready, Cas?"

"I am." Cas nodded before looking up at their dreaded destination.

The pair got out of the car, and Dean took Cas' hand before going to the trunk. Cas looked down at their hands and felt a soft warmth against his cheek. He turned to find that Dean had kissed his cheek.

"Sorry, I should have asked first." Dean apologized, running his free hand through his hair.

"Dean, you already asked, and I had given you permission." Cas smiled and let out a little sigh. "Let's grab the stuff and get this over with."

Dean popped the trunk and handed the pies to Cas, grabbing the casserole, before closing it back up and following Cas to the house. Cas had shifted the pies to one arm and rang the doorbell. His hand immediately went back to Dean's, and he tried his hardest to not let his nerves show.

"You don't just walk into your parent's place?" Dean tilted his head in confusion. "Even if you don't get along, isn't it home?"

"This place has never been home, Dean," Cas replied, clipping his response as the door opened.

A stoic, cold woman answered the door, looking down at them, despite the pair being taller than her. "Castiel. You came." She scrutinized Dean more thoroughly. "And you brought a friend."

"Mother, I told you I was bringing my boyfriend." He turned to look at Dean and smiled. "This is my significant other, Dean."

Naomi's lips pulled in to a tighter pout. "That term wouldn't be correct, Castiel. Come in. You know where to set them up." She stepped back into the house, allowing them entrance.

"I make two pies and your favorite cheese and spinach casserole," Cas mentioned as he walked past. "I'll need to borrow the oven for five minutes once the turkey is done."

"I don't know, Castiel." Naomi picked up her pace to walk in front of them. "You should have asked if the oven would be available to cook things in."

Dean stared in disbelief at the way Naomi was talking down to Cas. "You mean you can't spare five minutes to make the cheese gooey again? I didn't realize heat was a limited resource."

"Excuse you?" Naomi placed her hand on her chest in shock. "Castiel, you will keep your friend in line."

"Boyfriend, Mother. But he's right. This is your favorite dish. I made it just for you. You don't want it warm?"

Naomi rolled her eyes as the pair set down their food offerings. "I'll figure it out." She glared at Dean. "Why don't you go find your father? He should be in the TV Room watching the game."

"Football. Sure. Let's go, Cas." Dean watched as Naomi cringed at the shortened version of her youngest son's name.

Cas tried to not laugh as he led Dean to the TV Room. He leaned in close to Dean to whisper about Zachariah. "Dean, he absolutely hates his name being shortened to Zach, and he hates the Eagles."

"Oh, I am all over this." Dean winked and wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulder.

"Father?" Cas inquired as they entered the room. 

"Castiel. You came." His eyes traveled to Dean. "And you brought a friend."

"This is my boyfriend, Dean." Cas felt the words falling easier from his lips. "Dean, this is my father, Zachariah."

Dean unwrapped his arm off Cas' shoulder and extended his hand to Zachariah. "Please to meet you, Zach."

Zachariah stiffened, and his eyes became cold as ice. "Zachariah, please." He took Dean's hand and shook it.

"Of course, sorry about that, Zachariah. I'm just a nickname kind of person, ain't that right, Cas?" Dean took his hand back and wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulders again, leaning in to touch their foreheads together.

Cas could see the vein in his father's forehead start to throb. "Castiel, do you have no respect for your name?"

"I do, as does Dean. But my name is archaic, and sometimes it's just easier to shorten it." Cas looked at his father and stood his ground.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Zachariah." Dean stepped between the two. "Cowboys vs. Eagles, right?" He pointed at the TV.

"You watch sports?" Zachariah asked, his doubt not hidden at all.

"Hell yeah!" Dean hopped over the back of the couch and landed next to Zachariah on the sofa. "Just cause I like to suck a dick every now and then, doesn't mean I can't like sports." He leaned forward and grabbed some crackers off a platter on the coffee table. "Oh shit, Eagles up, 21-3! Fly Eagles, Fly!"

"Castiel, a word!" Zachariah demanded, scrambling out of his seat. Dean looked at Cas in worry, not relaxing even when Cas gave him a gesture indicating he'd be fine.

Cas followed Zachariah into the kitchen, where Naomi was mashing potatoes. "Who is this bastard friend of yours?" Zachariah hissed, grabbing Naomi's attention to join in.

"He's not a bastard, and he is my boyfriend," Cas emphasized the word boyfriend for the umpteenth time since arriving. 

"You are in a phase, Castiel. We've found some nice girls who are very interested in you." Naomi added. Before she could continue; however, the front door opened, Gabe and Anna walking in.

"CASSIE!" Gabe called out, causing both of their parents to cringe. "You came home!" He dropped Anna's duffle bag in the foyer and bolted into the kitchen, trying to pick up his younger brother in a bear hug. "You seriously need to stop growing!"

Anna walked up behind Gabe and pushed him to the side, wrapping her arms around her younger brother. "Hello, Castiel. I've missed you." She pulled back and offered an apologetic smile. "Gabriel told me you were bringing your boyfriend to dinner. Is he here?"

"Castiel's friend is in the TV Room," Zachariah responded before Cas could. "And he is a rude, ungrateful, little prick."

"I can assure you it's not little." Dean walked into the kitchen. "Sorry, I heard the commotion, and I just wanted to make sure Cas was ok." Dean walked over to Cas and wrapped his arms around Cas's waist. "Gonna introduce me, babe?"

Cas melted into Dean's embrace, allowing their actions to cross into new territory. "Dean, this is my older brother Gabe and my older sister Anna."

"I've heard all about you two." Dean lets go of Cas long enough to shake their hands before holding Cas again.

"Well, why don't you all go into the TV Room. Your father and I will finish up dinner." Naomi responded coldly, clearly annoyed by Dean's presence.

"That sounds like a plan. Get that damn football off the TV." Gabe responded.

"But the Eagles are winning. They're hands down the best team in the NFL this year, wouldn't you agree, Zach?"

If looks could kill, Zachariah would have killed not only Dean but all three of his children as well. Gabe, sensing his father's temper rising, herded Dean and his siblings out of the kitchen. "Jesus, Cassie, where did you find this one?"

"Took your advice." Cas shrugged.

"Word to the wise?" Gabe looked at Dean. "Keep him."

"Dean, you don't happen to have any siblings, do you?" Anna asked.

"Brother, half-brother, and an adopted sister. I'm the oldest." Dean tilted his head. "Why?"

Gabe and Anna exchanged looks before Anna followed up with another question. "They single?"

Dean laughed, a rich, warm sound that made Cas melt. "Sammy's not. I don't know with Adam, but he's the youngest of us all, barely legal. Charlie's single, and flaming lesbian."

Anna looked at Gabe. "Sorry, guess I win this round."

"Wait, Anna, you too?" Cas' head tilted in shock and confusion.

She looked over Cas' shoulder to see if their parents were listening. "Bi, Castiel. I'm Bi."

Castiel looked in shock at Anna, then turned to Gabriel. "Are you going to drop a bombshell on me too?"

"I don't care about gender?" Gabe responded.

"What? When?" Cas palmed his forehead and sat on the sofa.

Both Gabe and Anna had the decency to blush. Anna responded first. "I figured it out in college."

"I've dated many people over the years, Cassie. I just didn't always bring them home to mom and pops." Gabriel added.

"You're so much braver than the both of us," Anna whispered. "You brought Dean home with you."

Dean sat on the sofa next to Cas and wrapped his arm around him. He leaned in and quietly spoke into Cas' ear. "Want me to prank them, too?"

Cas burst out laughing, shaking his head and throwing his arms around Dean's neck. "I know why you two did it," Cas stated while hugging Dean tight. "I don't even think I can be mad."

"Dinner time," Naomi announced, appearing in the doorway to the TV Room. "We would appreciate no hanging all over each other at the table, Castiel." Naomi turned her nose up and walked back towards the kitchen.

"Let's go knock out this wonderful holiday, shall we?" Gabe clapped his hands together.

The dining room was awkwardly quiet as the all entered and took their seats. Naomi stood at her place and looked at Zachariah. "Grace, Dear?"

Zachariah nodded and clasped his hands together.

Lord, bless this food and grant that we May thankful for thy mercies be; Teach us to know by whom we're fed; Bless us with Christ, the living bread. Lord, make us thankful for our food, Bless us with faith in Jesus' blood; With the bread of life our soul's supply, That we may live with Christ on high. Amen.

When none of his children nor Dean responded, Amen, Zachariah cleared his throat. "I said, Amen."

Gabe and Anna quickly said it, and Castiel murmured it, but Dean refused to say it.

"Dean, is there something wrong with your voice all of a sudden?" Zachariah shot another deathly stare at Dean.

"Nope, my voice works just fine. I just don't do religion." Dean shrugged. "Guess you could say I'm an Atheist."

Cas flinched as he heard his mother gasp and prepare to yell at him. However, before she could get a word out, Dean spoke up.

"Are you about to yell at Cas? Cause Cas says Grace before every meal. I respect that he does. You know why?" Dean picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and scooped a heap onto his plate. "Cause Cas doesn't force me to believe something I don't. He's kind, he's caring, and he's understanding. Clearly, you two didn't teach him that." Dean scooped a heap of potatoes on Cas' plate then passed the bow to Anna.

"How dare you!" Naomi spat. "You are a guest in this home."

"Yeah, let me tell you how guestly it's felt since I entered your house." Dean stabbed at the plate of turkey on the table and grabbed a few slices for himself and a few for Cas. "You both refuse to acknowledge my relationship with your son. You both have looked down on me for being a man who is attracted to men and women. God forbid I slip that I work two jobs." Dean smiled sarcastically. "Oops."

Dean passed the fork to Anna, who was staring at her mother as though she would explode. "You know, Naomi. How would you feel if I told you the farce between you and Zachariah here were invalid and not real?"

"We are one man, one woman. That's how it was created. You don't find any instances of your perversion in nature." Naomi gripped the edge of the table.

"Actually, Mom," Anna spoke up. "This last trip for NatGeo? I told you where they sent me. I was in the Savannah. I saw gay and lesbian animals everywhere."

"And the rangers released a document saying that the animals learned it from homosexual humans." Zachariah pointed sharply at his daughter. "You will speak when spoken to."

"You're going to tell the smartest person at the table to shut up?" Dean let out a low whistle and took a bite of a roll he had grabbed. "Man, I'd listen to everything she has to say. She works for National Fucking Geographic." He turned to Cas. "I'll still talk books with you all the time, though, sweetheart." He leaned in and kissed Cas' cheek.

"I said there would be no hanging over each other!" Naomi slammed her hands down on the table.

Dean snorted. "Me, kissing Cas' cheek, is not hanging all over him." He rested his hand on the small of Cas' back. "I bet a hundred dollars if Anna had brought along a boyfriend, or Gabe a girlfriend, you'd call a kiss on the cheek cute."

"Leave." Zachariah's voice sent a chill through the room. "Gabriel can take Castiel home."

"Like I'm going to leave Cas here to take more of your abuse. How long have you been telling him that he's wrong?" Dean whipped his head to Naomi. "How long have you been calling him a pervert?"

"We've never called him that." Naomi defended.

"Mom, you literally just did." Gabriel finally spoke. "You just called being Gay a perversion." 

"Castiel isn't gay," Zachariah spoke up.

"Yeah, he is, Dad." Anna stared at her father. "And I'm bisexual. When I told you two about my boyfriend, Rupert? I was actually talking about my girlfriend, Ruby. Ruby and I broke up, and I couldn't properly mourn that relationship because I didn't have a mother who understood me."

"Well, if we're all coming out. I have slept with more dudes than I have fingers." Gabe added. "I've also slept with as many women. I've slept with as many non-binary people. And you know what? I've also slept with Trans people. Love is love, and attraction is attraction."

Naomi looked as though she were about to faint, and Zachariah pointed a knife at Dean. "This is your fault."

"MY FAULT?" Dean yelled, finally raising his voice. "I just met Gabe and Anna today. They were queer long before I met them. I'm dating Cas, who came to me and asked me out. Tell me how this is my fault."

"You made them think it was ok to share this information."

"And you made them feel like they were less than nothing. You're the problem here. Not me, not a single one of your children."

Cas stared at Dean in awe. No one had ever come to his defense so quickly, and here Dean was also defending his siblings. "Dean, I think we should go."

"That's the first smart thing you've said all night, Castiel." Naomi snapped.

"Oh no, you did not." Dean turned to face the Ice Queen at the end of the table. "Did you seriously just call my boyfriend stupid? You know, your youngest son? The person I fall for more and more each time I talk to him?"

"You know nothing about this family, and you came in here and–"

"Ok, Boomer." Dean cut Naomi off, and Gabe spat out his drink laughing. "Cas, let's grab the food you brought and head back."

"Get out of my house!" Zachariah shouted.

"Already working on it." Dean shot off a one-fingered salute and stood up with Cas and followed him to the kitchen.

Dean quickly found the two pies, while Cas found his casserole hidden in the fridge. He pulled it out and frowned, showing Dean. "She was never going share."

"Cas," Dean set down the pies and took the casserole, setting it down as well. He pulled Cas into his arms and held him tightly. "I'm sorry if I did too much."

"I think you could have kept going." Gabriel entered the kitchen. "Cassie, you brought pies? Trying to one-up me?"

"Dean likes pecan pie. You usually bring pumpkin." Cas melted into Dean's embrace, determined to make sure it wouldn't be the last time Dean held him like that.

"Touché." Gabriel let out a sigh. "Got room for two at your place?"Anna entered the kitchen. "Go pack your things, Gabe." She looked at Cas. "Your address still the same? We're not staying here."

"You're just going to crash with me? How do you know I don't have a roommate?"

Anna cut Cas a look. "You two are a new couple, you haven't moved in together yet."

Gabe called to them from the foyer. "Let's roll before they figure out how to trap us here."

"Coming, Gabe," Anna replied. "Meet you at your place, Cassie?"

Cas' face lit up at his sister calling him a nickname - even if it was one he wasn't particularly fond of - and not Castiel. "Yeah. Same address." He reluctantly pulled out of Dean's arms and grabbed the casserole, placing it in Dean's hands. "We should escape too." Cas picked up the pies and followed Anna out of the kitchen.

"Yes, sir." Dean smiled and followed the siblings out of the house.

…

Once back at Cas' apartment, this time with two siblings in tow, Dean helped Cas get the food in the house and prepared to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Gabe tilted his head in confusion, a trait all three siblings shared.

"I messed up a lot for you guys today. I'll let the three of you have your Thanksgiving together."

Gabe and Anna looked at Cas, who took Dean's hand into his. "I know we haven't been together long."

"Yeah, when did you find him, Monday, after we hung up?" Gabe smirked.

"Shut up, Gabe." Cas, Anna, and Dean said in unison.

Cas waited to see if Gabe would say anything else before continuing. "When I did this, I didn't think it would be more than a business arrangement. But I want this to be more. Please, Dean?"

"I'm not sure why, you still want that after today, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want more with you." Dean pressed his forehead against Cas'.

"Well, that settles it." Anna smiled. "Welcome to the family, Dean."

While Gabe and Anna set up in the guest room, Dean called up Charlie, and Cas ordered some Chinese food. Within a few minutes, Charlie was banging on Cas' door, bringing gifts of rolls and croissants and coffee from the Cafe. The two fiery redheads were introduced and instantly hit it off.

Their dinner arrived shortly after, and they all curled up on the various chairs and sofas together. They took turns picking movies to watch and created their own Thanksgiving.

As the night crept upon them, Charlie apologized but reminded them that she had to get up early for Black Friday shoppers who would hit up her cafe for coffee and breakfast. She exchanged numbers with Anna and told them to not be strangers.

Dean got up to go, and Cas grabbed his hand. "You said you're not working tomorrow. That the restaurant was closed for a long weekend."

"I did." Dean smiled at Cas. "I also don't want to impose. You have a full house right now, and I'm not sure if Gabe or Anna are claiming the couch."

Cas tilted his head in exasperation. "Did you think I wanted you to sleep on the couch?" He looked around, Anna had run to the restroom, and Gabe went to go grab a couple more of the chocolate croissants Charlie had brought. "I want you to stay with me tonight."

"You do?" Dean swallowed - hard. "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to." Cas stood up and led Dean back to his bedroom. "We don't have to go that far tonight," Cas added as they entered the room. "I'd actually prefer that we didn't.

"This is new, but it feels like forever at the same time." Cas continued, "Did you mean what you said?"

Dean wrapped his arms over Cas' shoulders. "I've meant every word I said today, but what phrase comes specifically to mind?"

"That you fall for me more and more each time we talk?"

 Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips against Cas', a soft caress that left them breathless. "One-hundred percent, Cas."

[melimelrockswell1204]

Post-17

I. Have. So. Many. Feelings.

To say that I have watched that clip about 538372 times would be underestimating the number a little bit very much...and that's because I had to work.

You know how I knew this episode was going to be amazing? When Hermione says, "Are you really all this miserable?"

Oh, honey.

Have you been paying attention?!?!?!?!

This is why this particular musical worked so fucking well - b/c Heathers talks about teenage misery & disillusionment. I have yet to meet a group of teenagers as disillusioned & miserable as those that attend Riverdale High. With the exception of a very few, they have to deal with a whole bunch of adult shit, including the primary fact that their parents are off making decisions that affect them directly, without giving their children any thought. They have to deal with murder, drug use, gangs, cults & a role play game that kills people.

So...Yeah, Hermione. They are that fucking miserable.

Every teenager on that show is going through something - Betty, Jughead, Josie, Veronica, Toni... everyone. It speaks to how completely oblivious the parents are that they don't even fucking notice...nor do they seemingly care. The parents are too wrapped up in their own bullshit to see what their actions & plans are doing to their children... And with this musical, the kids are saying they've had it.

But alas. Nothing is ever so straightforward on our little show.

I must say, that the cult storyline that they're pursuing this season is both horrifying & so fucking apt to what this town has become. It's not just about the haves & the have nots, it's not about accepting who are you are, it's not even about how this brooding writer stole the heart of the girl next door. The town in & of itself is evil - it makes good people do bad things, & bad people do worse. It's about the cyclical nature of Riverdale - of how the sins of the father are sometimes paid by the son (or the daughter, in some cases), how daughters fail their mothers by being decent human beings, and how this picture perfect small town had everyone fooled that it was nice & quiet, when the exact opposite was true.

I find the cult so horrifying because people commit atrocities when they feel that they are morally superior. It’s this smug “oh you poor fool” attitude that every Farmie has that I find to be so incredibly sinister...especially when you realize that regardless of whether you’re in the Farm or not, they know everything about you, all your secrets, and will use them against you to break you. 

Cults aren’t cool, my friends. Try your best not to join one. 

This episode - especially in regards to the season as a whole - was fucking perfect. You have to look at where everyone is at - Veronica dealing with her family’s bullshit, Cheryl being the scorned bitter ex (it’s a job she does well, amiright?), Jug dealing with his mother being a fucking drug dealer... This musical was perfect for this season. As mentioned before, these kids have a right to be teenagers...and they can’t be. 

Fuck it, I’m just gonna say it. The reasons this musical hit so hard is because in the town of Riverdale, there’s a grand total of 4 good parents in Riverdale, and one lives in Chicago full-time. 

And the ending? 

First off, let me say that I am not surprised I didn’t see Alice in the audience. She has shown that she has no concern for Betty whatsoever, & the statement that they were trying to make with the reprise was simple: Let us be kids again. You’re hurting us. Stop it. 

But why would Alice do something that Betty needed? That’s just crazy talk!

And the mocking way that Edgar just stood up, & clapped? That was beyond fucking creepy. And you know what that said to me? 

It doesn’t matter that the kids are breaking. It doesn’t matter that they’re too young to deal with any of the shit that they’re dealing with. It doesn’t matter, b/c it is falling on deaf ears, ears that are now only attuned to Edgar’s voice. 

It was fucking chilling, people. 

Now.

The. Scene. (or scenes, as it were LOL). 

This was one of the most beautiful Bughead episodes in all of Riverdale history. You don’t have to take my word for it, you watched it, you know what’s up. 

When we started with their story, no way they thought that investigating Jason Blossom’s murder would steer them down this path. Those two kids are fucking exhausted of having to investigate their friends’ parents, of having to constantly wonder when the other shoe is about to drop. The song works so fucking perfectly for them b/c they don’t want to do this anymore. They would so rather investigate the mystery meat served in the cafeteria, where did that extra $5k go that was meant for the library, & profile the new History teacher. 

But they can’t. 

A couple of weeks ago, the wife ( @paperlesscrown​ , for those of you not in the know - our wedding was fabulous btw. We honeymooned in Bali) & I mentioned how the core four needed each other b/c they each represented something different. Archie represented glory, b/c he needs the action. Veronica, pride - b/c she needs to brag. Betty represented justice, b/c she needs the balance. And Jug represented truth, b/c he needs the why. I bring this up b/c of this very important point - b/c of the nature of who they are as people, Bughead will always be trying to figure things out. It’s just who they are. That’s not the point I’m trying to make though. 

The point I’m trying to make is this - Bughead is fucking exhausted. Jug’s anguished, “How did we get here?” kicks me in the gut, man - b/c how did we get here? He’s so tired, so sad...

...and then...Betty. 

Listen, folks. I’m gonna keep it really real. 

Bughead is the heart & soul of Riverdale. 

Pass it on. 

The support that they have for each other... it’s truly one of the most magnificent things on television. They both want to be 17 - just regular, normal teenagers. 

But Riverdale won’t let them. 

If you don’t find it so heart-wrenchingly beautiful that these two complex imperfect people are able to support each other unconditionally, then go to a doctor b/c there’s seriously something wrong with you. 

That’s why the “You’re the one I choose” was so powerful to me. B/c you have two characters who, for most of their life, did not get a choice. Their choices were taken away from them, by crazy overbearing mothers & drunk violent fathers. 

But this choice, this decision?

It’s all theirs. They are making it. Consciously. Firmly. Absolutely. 

Betty will always & forever choose Jughead. Jughead will always & forever put Betty first. 

If you don’t think that’s one of the best, most powerful ways to say, “I love you,” then I don’t know what to tell you, man. 

Plus!

We get the “ Cuz you’re here with me.” 

FUCK. ME. UP. SHOW. 

I am going to explain why this line matters.

This entire season, all the attempts that Betty has made to help others have turned out fruitless. She would be ignored, vilified. She’s been trying to help everyone else...and it doesn’t seem to matter. 

But w/ Jughead? 

She matters. 

She’s wanted, and needed. 

Again, I say it. Bughead is the heart & soul of this show. 

Christ, this episode was amazing. 

[crystalkleure]

Pluto from Beyblade lmao

Ah Yes, The Apocalypse Sure Does Seem Like Fun! xdfcdxdfcgv extremely valid [also I love his haircut and stupid clothes…first a Cult Potato Sack and then he shows up in a Spiffy White Suit for the Armageddon Party]

My turn!

Melone from JJBA! [Vento Aureo, specifically]

He’s a horny fucking freak lmao. One lady bitch-slapped him for being a creep and he liked it. Licked her hand while it was buried in his face.

Even his fellow Cold, Hardened Mafia Hitmen think he’s a scummy pervert vfcdxfdcgvgv LOOK AT THE WAY THEY LOOK AT HIM HERE:

He absolutely deserved the stupid fucking way he died [stuck his tongue out Too Far Too Much and got it bit by a venomous GiornoSnake THAT WAS ON FIRE, went out making a goddamn Ahegao face xdcfvgcgv rest in piss, purple bastard], I just Really Really like his design a lot, he is Super Pretty, and I think it’s funny as hell to watch him just constantly get dunked on. That’s literally all it took to hook me lmfao I Am That Shallow. But I am probably gonna get absolutely flambéed for this eventually because UH…..Oh man, I gotta warn anybody I’ve just accidentally tricked into thinking they maybe wanna look this character up, haha………

[[tw for faux-sexual assault under the cut? HE DOESN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING QUITE THAT FOUL but the way he SAYS shit is absolutely fucking atrocious…he scares the crap out of one woman, but, then…evidently didn’t actually have any intention of doing That to her? Still, don’t read this if alluding to that sort of thing freaks you out and Do Not Investigate Melone]]

…His stand ability is AH. BAD. VERY BAD…sort of. He, like, sticks a Little Bit Of Stand Magic inside someone and then it grows like a parasite?? HE CHOOSES TO REFER TO THIS AS IMPREGNATION in spite of the fact that no…actual sexual assault has occurred at all?? It does not involve reproductive organs of either party and the little stand parasite thing just Kind Of Appears after literally a couple of minutes. I think it materialized out of the woman’s back?? Scene was a little unclear, but it was VERY clear about where it did NOT come from. [Fuck, does he even NEED to use a woman for this?? Are we SURE??] MELONE JUST CHOOSES TO MAKE THIS WHOLE PROCESS SOUND AS WEIRD AND GROSS AS POSSIBLE. When it’s apparently just more like “Here, hold my leech for a minute” *slaps a bitey slug on your arm* *bitey slug absorbs your Brain Data instead of your blood*??? SO HE ABSOLUTELY HAD ALL THE POTENTIAL TO NOT BE QUITE AS TERRIBLE AS HE IS AND HE JUST OPTED NOT TO TAKE IT. PURELY BY POWER OF EXTREMELY BAD PHRASING.

So yeah this guy would um, definitely trigger some folks, watch out.

Also he’s one of those “What’s personal space lol” sorts of guys, and I genuinely can’t tell if he’s deliberately, maliciously trying to make the people he’s harassing uncomfortable/frightened, or if he’s just so wrapped up in his own nastyass thoughts that he’s not really thinking about it. I think it might be the latter but IS THAT REALLY EVEN ANY BETTER THOUGH, CONSIDERING………………..

To his credit, he actually tried to stop his weird stand spawn thing from eating the lady it cloned its personality from because apparently it Was Not Actually Supposed To Do That, but it didn’t fucking listen to him and then stole his motorbike lmfao

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 5]

Half the badges means halfway finished, right?

No. No, it never means that.

The squad:

Caspet (Haunter)

Puff (Dratini)

Nessy (Milotic)

Boruto (Ninjask)

Omchomp (Eelektrik)

I’m rooting for you, team.

Hello Pirate Plasma.

One of them has a Watchdog.

Caspet, kill.

Good Caspet.

And so the day is saved! Thanks to... Me and Russell!

Oh, wait, hold off on the exclamation points. Russell is giving the sad backstory talk about how his little sister was given a Purrloin as a gift, then Team Plasma stole it. Cue Russell feeling so sad and helpless, and now he wants to be strong and not helpless, and believes in the power of friendship backing him up.

It’s like Nintendo took every single villain code it could get its hands on and threw it on a good big bro who depends on his buddies.

Aw heck I think I need to have a Rotation Battle with Hearbreaker Charles before the bridge opens up. Also known as that battle type that takes three pokemon. Hoo boy. Okay. Let’s. Let’s try this.

It could and has been worse.

Hey, success. Nice work, Caspet. Sorry Puff gets all the exp from it. He’s smol. He needs it.

Bridge opened up, so that means... new friend time!

Duuuuuuude!

Want.

Hey hey hey hey I caught him!

Now what’re we naming you... Vertex!

Say what you will, Pokemon mook villains are charming as heck with some of their dialogue. You kids would have so much fun larping. Stop bringing real theft into it and have a grand ol’ time.

The Knight Plasma promises to tell me a story about the conflict if I visit their house. I shall do that momentarily. For now, the Pokemon Center calleth.

Okay it’s been a lot of weeks since that last sentence, so I really need to read up a bit and see where I’m at.

Hm.

I’m gonna wander around training stuff. Boruto needs a move that isn’t Leech Life.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S WINTER! THE GAME SAYS IT’S WINTER!

SNOW!

SNOW.

Oh, and I guess I should check that I have Poke Balls.

Yeah, okay, good.

Exploring time.

There’s this hotel on this block that I have zero memory of.

Exploration indicates that’s because there’s nothing of value in it.

We ended up fighting Charles again and now Caspet knows Shadow Ball. I might cry. Thank you, Caspet. Thank you for being alive.

Hope. It beckons.

But that means it’s time for Boruto to have the Exp. Share.

Cool, I don’t care.

Oh, in a battle.

Hoo boy. Fingers crossed.

Sure, let’s do this.

Level 27 Herdier. Not too bad, then.

...It knows Crunch.

That takes Caspet down to almost half, so Vertex can start earning his keep against the Swoobat. Good boy, Vertex, you didn’t die. Yay.

Russell appears and sad talks about former Team Plasma folks trying to do right happen. They are sad and Russell is sad and it’s all very sad.

Aw dang it. Rood offers us a Zorua. We don’t get to take it because it isn’t randomized. So much sadness all in this one building. In a weird way I’m sort of happy to see more of Knight Team Plasma. Some of them really were on N’s side, and some of them really did realize that pokemon could be their friends. It’s an oversimplification, but it’s really sweet.

I can’t go south until I have the town badge, which I can’t get because Clay’s off doing Clay things somewhere.

Gimme something that won’t die, game.

My team is going to be nothing but Electric types by the end. Also lol I forgot to heal I am suddenly much happier that this is a Pikachu.

Pikachu’s new name is Rynalds. Bye forever, Rynalds.

Cofagrigus was also an option.

Welp.

There’s also Exploud. And Alakazam.

Cool, I have a Moon Stone now.

...How the heck am I supposed to train my party. Exp. Share and letting the big kids handle it is the surest path to insanity I can come up with, but I seriously need my team to be useful beyond its top two.

Boruto still doesn’t know anything useful.

You know what he does know now?

Swords Dance.

You are a disappointment to Boruto’s Dad, Boruto. Which I guess is me, in this universe.

I’ve reached the dark grass, so let’s see if there are easier training opportunities here.

Dusknoir! Hey, I had one of you! Flaffy, Bastiodon, Tirtouga, Volcarona

Puff’s going to take the lead and Dragon Rage things to death while I’m next to a healing house. He’s going to need a ton of exp anyway, he might as well contribute to the cause of his friends.

None of you have good moves. Caspet better not die.

...Okay, five minutes into this, do I have any good TMs...?

No. I do not.

We enter the cave for hope of a change in fortune.

!

And it’s a male Ralts!

...Wait. Do I have a Dawn Stone?

I see this theoretically ending very sadly for me.

Caught, though. His new name is Diego and he will be very loved.

. . . . . . . .

-stumbles through the door several months later-

Ultra Sun possessed all my interest and my Nuzlocke ways got put on hold for flying through wormholes. So it’s been way too long, but since this is done over text that’s not too obvious, right?

Oh, and during my off-time, it wasn’t something I looked up thanks to that being against the rules, but I remembered that it’s Caspet’s Poison typing that’s a problem against Psychic. Yay for that brief mystery concluding.

Now where the heck am I.

Right. Grinding and caves and not quite ready to talk to Bianca.

And it’s Summer now, according to the game’s clock. I wish that were true in the outside world as well. It’s cold.

If I had a Dawn Stone, I think I would add Diego to the squad. Omchomp is beloved and etc., but I won’t claim to be horribly attached, and Ralts’ every evolution has a spot in my heart that Pokemon Go can’t fill because I’m not wasting 100 candy on anything less than 93% perfection.

Only as much as I love Gardevoir, Gallade is so cool and I only get to pick one, aaaand... Yeah, okay, nothing’s being swapped out yet. Back to grinding. Back to hoping that Boruto learns literally any STAB attack.

Why does this keep happening. Ah, and this is not something Puff should be anywhere near. Arguably nothing on my team should be anywhere near it. #grinding_problems.

You know, I’m beginning to remember why I wasn’t in a hurry to pick this run back up.

Boruto learns Slash.

Heck, I’ll take it.

Uh oh.

Oooooooh I am become error.

The logic behind this was that Puff’s been in front against Kyurem constantly before Nessy gets switched in, and all it ever uses is Ancient Power. If it had anti-Dragon stuff, it’d be using it, right?

Hoo boy.

Sorry, Puff.

Like. It’s been a while, so I don’t remember much of you, and I’m kind of relieved I’m not stuck with something that takes so long to gain levels anymore, but ow.

K, Vertex goes in and we are running now.

All the way back to a Pokemon Center.

Really, really sorry, Puff.

What am I going to do without Dragon Rage... the one true grind power.

Rynalds, Frill, or Diego. Those are my choices.

In you go, Diego. I would prefer a Gallade, but that doesn’t much matter at this point.

It could be much, much worse. This run started with way worse. This is fine. It’s fine. Absolutely fine. Does not make me dream of Exp. Share that affects the entire team at all.

These are my happy tears. Obviously.

...

See. I thought to myself, “It probably knows Fire Blast.” Then I thought to myself, “Sure it can learn it, but it’s a low level legendary. Speaking from experience, those things have jack for moves. Boruto will be fine.”

Then Boruto was not fine.

Lava Plume.

Oh, and a critical hit for good measure.

I have nothing to say.

But Omchomp is going in the designated survivor box, and I’m not replacing anyone in the current lineup. I’m just. I’m gonna train these four. And. Make that work somehow. It’s too early to get caught up in everything dying during grinding.

Neat, Diego’s cave has Charizard. And Seviper. Bayleef. Probopass.

Vertex could maybe handle being Diego’s training partner... let’s give that a try instead of bloating Nessy’s level even further.

And the first thing a Charizard does is Dragon Rage the 84 health thing.

This continues to be a very long trial.

Back to Autumn.

My son. You shall be the most beautiful ballerina.

Okay, things starting to feel a bit more positive? A bit more like it might all be okay? Yeah! Let’s go! Grind them feet into the field!

Did I know there was Alakazam in the normal grass outside Chargestone? Because there is. And I have a Gardevoir in need of tutelage. Well great, at least now I know where I’m grinding.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DID THE RANDOMIZER SETTINGS RIGHT!

GENGAR GET!

No more Eviolite for Caspet, which. Well, sure, it stresses me out to only have as much Defense as Caspet really has, but maybe I’ll pick something up along the line that helps with that. You never know.

Back to the grind.

...With the stray thought that this is much less necessary with the four I have. I’d like Vertex over 30, but realistically, Caspet and Nessy are enough to deal with a lot, and Diego’s getting there.

I’ll get Vertex over 30 and hit go on the plot button.

Oh wait. Diego’s only offensive move is Magical Leaf.

Aaaaah, ghosts of Boruto’s past...

Eh, let’s just talk to Bianca.

She says nothing of interest to those who already know you can push Chargestone Cave’s rocks around.

So, I’ve just realized that I can fight Clay now, probably, and because I’m largely making myself sad doing non-plot activities, I’m going to give that a go. Nessy is overleveled and suited for it. I’ll give her a Mystic Water. Vertex can carry the Exp. Share for a bit.

And down we go.

I have no memory of this place. It is dark.

Better, but I think I like the previous games’ setup of this gym more. Aesthetically. I hated moving around it, but it was all very pretty. This has too much dark to roll with the pretty much.

Okay, first fight! Let’s see if I should actually be trying this.

First and only pokemon is a level 31 Baltoy. I think we’re good.

Geez. There are too many platforms here. Gym, I am disappoint.

Nessy.

Carry.

First out is a level 31 Krokorok. One Water Pulse downs it. Following that up is a level 31 Sandslash, and in the spirit of optimism and needing exp, Diego’s going to try to Magical Leaf it into submission. One isn’t enough, and Clay uses a Hyper Potion on his next turn. Next Magical Leaf after undoing that does the trick, and I think we’re bringing out Nessy next to contend with the Excadrill.

The level 33 Excadrill.

Nessy’s 38, if I haven’t mentioned it this post.

...Wow. One Water Pulse later, and we’re done with Clay.

Yaaaaay.

[hermitknut]

A:TLA watch, part 3

Folks I am so happy to continue watching this XD

Here we go then, volume 3! I’m trying to put the episode titles on now, so it’s not as confusing.

Now we have a time limit… I don’t think it’s gonna speed things up much, because there are SO MANY EPISODES, but we’ll see.

 The Water Scroll

Yaaay I’ve been wondering if we were gonna get Katara teaching Aang!

I like that Aang picks it up so quickly and that they deal a bit with Katara feeling king of ehhhh about it

She stole it didn’t she!

YUP

CABBAGE MAN IS BACK

Aw man this is the episode of mild interpersonal drama and lesson learning isn’t it

Incidentally I would watch like four hours of Uncle Iroh dragging Zuko around the shops

Shouty Katara!

Zuko has pirate friends now. Maybe they’ll teach him to wear his hair with more comfort. I maintain that’s most of his problem, honestly. No one can be happy with that much scalp tension.

“I’ll save you from the pirates” well okay bahahaha. Zuko’s so obviously a teenager. He’s really channelling his inner Malfoy this episode.

“no katara, it isn’t [your fault]” “yeah, it kind of is” UNCLE TEA

Damn that whole action sequence was really well done

 Jet

NO THEY CAUGHT THE LEMUR

‘why don’t you ask sokka’s instincts’ KATARA XD

Question: why aren’t they riding appa on the ground??

Oooo a bad-ass outlaw type person, and friends, who are defo gonna make Sokka’s leadership claim get examined

Honestly I love how Aang just. Gets on with people? Like straight away. It’s a nice character choice.

Uh oh, katara has a crushhhh

You’re too good for him, sweetie. He doesn’t know when to stop smirking.

Oh, and he’s bullying an old man now, yeah. Definitely not good enough for Katara.

DO NOT TRUST SMIRKY BOY

HEY

HEY

YOU PUT SOKKA DOWN. HE’S A TWERP SOMETIMES BUT HE’S GROWING UP NICELY AND I’M FOND OF HIM.

Kick his butt katara!!

Oh no :( :(

Oh the villagers got out! Speedy work, Sokka

Lol how sassy was that “yip yip”

 The Great Divide

Ah, both a place and a metaphor. Gotcha.

Oooo they’re heading to the city-of-not-any-war-but-maybe-some-war (which I should probably look up how to spell)

Come on Katara you’re smarter than that, that story isn’t the whole story.

The changing animation styles are fun!

Damn I feel like I recognise the voice of the Leader of the Posh Tribe from somewhere…

“they’ve had a taste and they’re coming back for me” lol dude they didn’t eat you before

Ahahaha that’s a neat solution

Omgggg tiny babies!!!!

Aslan. He sounds oddly like Aslan, that’s who. I don’t think it is Aslan, but still.

Bahaha Aang you liar.

The Storm 

Oooo creepy dream :( someone hug Aang

“did we get captured again” lollll good guess though

“he doesn’t mean that” why do I feel like Iroh is the only reason Zuko still has a crew

Hey. Hey. Don’t you shout at my avatar like that, dude.

Oh I am so here for this backstory. Bless little Aang.

Zuko backstory too??? YES PLEASE.

…baby Zuko doesn’t have a… that’s not a birthmark, is it…

*scowls at the Fire Lord*

Nooooo they sent aang away???? Bahhh.

Argh this episode is gonna make me cry

Noooo Zuko

Wait that’s IT, that’s ALL ZUKO DID

FUCK YOU FIRE DAD. FUCK YOU.

Omg the parallel of Aang giving people hope – including Zuko

Dude firebenders can handle lightening? NEAT

“I’m too young to die!” “I’m not but I still don’t wanna” bahaha

How is this this beautiful, I legit gasped when they hit the water

I could binge watch this forEVER but okay okay I’m stopping for the night. More soon.

H

[fourjokersandajudge]

Impractical Jokers, Season 1, Episode 4 "Boardwalk of Shame"

Liveblogging observations/opinions:

Not sure when they started using their current opening credits, but it was one of the best moves ever.

CHALLENGE ONE: DON’T I KNOW YOU?

The guys are back in one of the many NYC parks.  They have to get a stranger to admit that they know the joker.  During this process, they have to rely on embarrassing cue cards created by the other guys.  If they can’t get the stranger to admit that they know them, they lose.

Q’s turn -  I just love it when Q looks right into the camera just before he starts his turn.  And I also think that it’s hilarious how he refers to the other guys as “J.O.s”.  LOL!!  Q's target turns out to be a young man from Copenhagen.  So funny how the mark repeatedly refers to Q as “sir” when conversing with him.  The cue cards that he is given are:

(from Sal)  “You’re my ex-wife’s friend.”/(from Joe) “Farted at the dinner party”

For Q’s second target, he picks an older man. The cue card that he is given is:

(from Sal) “From the circle jerk”

Q ultimately told his second mark that he didn’t know him and got a thumbs down.

Murr’s turn - the cue cards that Murr got for his approach were:

(from Q) “Night Court”/(from Sal) “President of the Dakota Fanning fan club/(from Joe) “On Broadway in Spartacus”/(from Q) “Proctologist/(from Sal) “I showed you my toe nail collection”/(from Sal) “I got diagnosed with SARS”/(from Sal) “Stole that baby’s diaper”

Sal’s turn - For Sal’s first approach, the cue cards that he got were:

(from Joe) “The clinic”/(from Murr) “Waxed Stallone’s scrotum”

For Sal’s second attempt, he got the following cue cards:

(from Joe) “The Christmas party”/(from Murr) “Peed in the holy water”/(from Q) “Run a cock fight”

Sal finally gets the young man to admit that he knows him.  LOL!  Most of the time, I think that these folks agree just to get away from the “weirdies”.  LOL!!  Sal gets a thumbs up.  Sal’s strange bow at the end of his turn was funny.

Joe’s turn - Joe picks a young lady for his first try and gets the following cue cards:

(from Murr): “Spin class”/(from Q) “I exposed myself”

For Joe’s second attempt, he selects another young lady and gets the following cards:

(short montage of various quotes)/(from Q) “Ate a live squid”/(from Sal) “I make stars out of Spanish children”/(another short montage of various quotes - the other guys are very amused and laugh heartily at his attempt)

Joe fails to make headway so he gets a thumbs down.

LOSERS - MURR, JOE, and Q

Sal gloats over the other three as he is the only one to secure a win for this challenge.  He appears to be very proud of himself.  LOL!  And Joe slyly slides in a couple of “your mother” jokes.  HA HA!

CHALLENGE TWO:  TOWEL CRASHERS

The guys are back out at the beach and have to find a way to sit on a strangers beach blanket laid out on the sand.  If they are asked to leave, they lose.

During their turns for this challenge, the guys all wore “glasses cameras” to record their adventures. Sidenote, I have a thing for guys in glasses...and all four look VERY nice in them. 

Q’s turn - (Wow, Q...what the heck are you even wearing?  LOL!)  In a very dejected manner, Q trudges across the beach, complaining about the beach and sand repeatedly.  He picks out a particular blanket and lies down on it.  Two women who were sitting in chairs right next to the blanket spot him and immediately ask him to leave. Q gets a giants thumbs down as he heads back towards the boardwalk.

Joe’s turn - Joe peruses the beach goers to find his best chance at a win.  He decides on a blanket on which a couple are lying down on their stomachs.  The man immediately rejects Joe’s attempt and starts packing up his things.  Joe gets a thumbs down.

Murr’s turn -  Murr pretends he’s on an argumentative phone call with his girlfriend as he plants himself on a blanket on which a couple of young ladies are lying on their stomachs.  After he hangs up the phone, he reclines so that he’s lying on his back on the blanket.   The other guys look on in amazement and Sal declares “that motherf****er....I hate his guts!”  LOL!!!  The two women go back to relaxing and Murr gets a thumbs up.

Sal’s turn - Sal, who’s carrying a floaty toy with him, wanders around the beach looking for what he believes will be his best opportunity for a win. He picks a blanket that is not in use at the moment. “Yeah....this looks nice!”  LOL @ the other three guys hoping that the blanket belongs to a large man who would pound on Sal. A woman eventually returns to the blanket and sees Sal asleep and snoring on the blanket.  She wakes Sal up who immediately says “Oh, hey bro!”  HA HA!  Bro?!?!   The lady lets him stay.  Sal strikes up a pleasant conversation with her and then takes another nap.  He asks her to wake him up in a half hour.  She lays down and reads her book. Sal gets his thumbs up.

LOSERS - JOE and Q

It’s nice to see Murr and Sal be able to bond with each other in the commonality of a win over Joe and Q.  It just warms my heart.

I’m still annoyed at the stupid doodles that they draw over the Joker’s faces on the loser board tally.  Grrrrr...

CHALLENGE THREE:  REPEAT AFTER ME

Now, the guys are at a grocery store where they have to strike up a conversation with a stranger and insert a specific word into the conversation provided by the other guys.  The goal is to get that stranger to repeat that specific word back to the Joker.  If they can’t get the word said, they lose.

Joe’s turn - His word is “oodles”.  He starts speaking to a woman and inserts his word several times.  Unfortunately for Joe, the woman never repeats the word, so he gets another loss.  Joe’s reaction to the loss is a super cute blend of him recognizing his failure in frustration, and smiling at one of the cameras mounted in the store.

Sal’s turn - His word is “nougat”.  Sal approaches a woman in the market and asks her where to find nougat in the store.  She eventually says it back to him, so he gets a win.  He delivers a smug smile to the camera.

Murr’s turn - His word is “bolognese”.  Murr approaches a shopper and asks him if he knows where to find the bolognese sauce.   After some really ridiculous and pathetic attempts to get the man to repeat it back, Murr fails and takes the thumbs down.  The other three guys are greatly amused and applaud Murr’s failure.

Q’s turn - His word is “vis-a-vis”.  Q approaches an older woman and asks her where to find coconuts while inserting vis-a-vis several times into his sentence.  After a few seconds, she repeats the word back.  Q’s little celebration is amusing.

LOSER-MURR and JOE

CHALLENGE FOUR: JUMP IN THE TRUNK

Now, they are at Route 23 Automall.  They are posing as car salesmen with the goal of getting customers into the trunks of the cars at the dealership. If they fail to get someone into the trunk, they lose.

OMG...the intro is so cheesy, all of the guys look like used car salesmen still stuck in the 1970s.  LOL!!!  What the heck, Q!?!?  Nice pornstache.

Murr’s turn - Murr is in the backseat of a car with a couple sitting in the front seats.  He tells the couple that the car is good for if they want to “get it on”.  He proceeds to point out that the seats recline.  He works hard at getting the couple into the trunk by some interesting moves.  But the lady gets out of the car.  Thumbs down for Murr.

Q’s turn - He tries to get an older gentleman into the trunk of a Nissan Sentra by demonstrating the roominess himself (and getting in the car’s trunk).  LOL @ his pretending to be a victim of a mob hit.  The man walks up to the trunk of the car and shuts the lid with Q still in it.  Thumbs down.

Joe’s turn - Joe is trying to sell a Ford Explorer to a woman who is sitting in the driver’s seat.  The guys tell Joe that every time the woman asks a question, Joe has to “go and ask his manager”.  Ah ha...we get our first LARRY mention when Joe hops out of the car to look for Manager Larry!  So funny!! Then Joe and the woman move over to a Nissan Sentra.  Joe gets into the trunk and tries to encourage her to get in too, but she refuses.  Joe loses.

Sal’s turn -  Sal approaches a couple of guys.  He gets one of them into the front of an SUV and keeps on lowering the price to entice the guy to buy.  He’s a terrible negotiator.  LOL!  Sal and the customer get out of the front of the car and goes to the Sentra.  He encourages the customer and his friend to try to get into the trunk and they both agree.  I love his laugh after his win.  

LOSERS-JOE, MURR, and Q

HA HA!  I love how Sal put the three losers in the back of the Sentra and closes the trunk.  “I’m in the dark with Murray!  Open the trunk!”

EPISODE LOSER - JOE

Punishment time - They return to the beach.  It’s fun to see the four guys get out of their do-it-yourself ride - a BMW (which Q drove). Joe has to wear a sandwich board telling everyone about how he lost a bet and to ask him what he has to do. (OMG...Murr’s “Come at me, bro!” half shirt.  LOL!!!!)  The guys also give Joe a bunch of envelopes.  Whenever someone approaches him, that person has to pick one of them and Joe has to do whatever the envelope says.   A lady approaches Joe and takes one of the envelopes.  She opens it and tells Joe that he has to put one of her toes in his mouth.  The guys are all horrified and amused at the same time.  Someone not on camera is dry-heaving the entire time Joe is putting the lady’s foot in his mouth - I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if it was Sal!  LOL!!  OMG!  Joe’s look at the camera while the toe was in his mouth was hilarious!!  

Number of belly laughs:  9

My personal rating - 6 (out of 10)

[vacationcalendar]

8/6/21

hi....

So, judging by the 14 day gap in my “daily” blog, the trip took more out of me than I was hoping. I’m gonna go back and read my last post and hear how nervous I was about losing my sweet sweet structure, and I’ll just nod my head in silence like, “we know buddy, we know.”

So today, I’m going to get back on the horse, and maybe do a teensy bit of rationalizing/excusing on the way. Because no matter what happens, I will always be a good person ;D

To be clear, I did a couple hand written blogs on the road. And I did say that I would not transpose them here. I mean, the hand-writing alone would make that task nigh impossible. But since it’s only TWO goddamn posts, maybe I’ll give it a shot. The first one was on-time, it was 7/23; I wrote it in a moving car- actually lemme read it real quick.  -------

Ok, yeah, the gist of the whole post was just “Fuck, this is going to be tough.” I was donating all of my energy to staying present with my family. And normally, that would round out at about 90 minutes, tops. But when you’re at a beach house, it’s the whole experience. I’m realizing now that I budget my “work” time for writing; I still have a hard time budgeting my “free” time (relaxation time?) for writing instead. And now I see that I thought that I’d be treating time with my family as my free time, and I’d still have a little bit of work time to use for the blog. This was not the case. This was the specific fear I was feeling before the trip that I could not articulate. Family time is under no circumstances “relaxation time”. That is the work time. Full stop. Every second I stole away from them instantly became a moment to recharge the batteries, and as awesome I seem to be at the writing shit, I can not yet do this to “unwind.” The writing is work, and spending meaningful time with my family is probably harder work than actually working at a job.

So I realize now that I didn’t write anything this trip because I was WORKING MY ASS OFF. And I should have known that. Have I never talked to my mother on the phone before? It’s just that times like 5 in person. Obviously. But now, I’m looking around like, is this whole vacation thing a scam? You have to put in so much effort to milk the fun experiences out of it. You can’t just wander outside with your arms out and catch fun like a sunbeam. AND it was wildly expensive? I shouldn’t have to shell out that kinda cash and still have to work that hard.

 Although, I did realize on the beach one morning that this is what you’re paying for. You’re paying for the privilege of accessing the one of the only beautiful places left on Earth. The earth has a limited number of amazing places, so capitalism decided to protect them and make them stay special by making them prohibitively expensive. Otherwise it would be wall to wall people, filling it up with garbage, because even that would still be better than living in Ohio. Like that’s Econ 101. But as I was walking and remembering that the system has been rigged for generations, I got pissed. Like, some rich white guys decided long ago who should be rich (their kids, and maybe their race too, why not?) and who SHOULDN’T. And now you see an amazing place that basically has a placard hanging in the entrance that says “rich people only,” and we’re all pretending like that’s a fair system. It honestly seems a little sad that a even a system that was a true meritocracy would decide who gets to enjoy a clean, beautiful beach, because that’s not how amazing things should be treated. It’s exclusiveness is not at all what makes it beautiful. But when you find out the capitalism has had its white thumb on the scale for centuries, and then has the audacity to pretend it doesn’t anymore, and you know for a fact it’s why a majority of the people on this island are here in the first place, it feels fucking awful. 

Like, I’m sitting here, even now, thinking “what the fuck do I actually do about this?” And for a second there, I was like this is a cool thing to put in a book, and I had to actually make sure I didn’t just mean “ooh, racism bad!” No shit. I’m also pretty sure that’s been tackled before. I’d something A LITTLE fresher than that. The real question is, “how do the people living in an all-encompassing system that governs them throw away that system? How do they actually enact a plan to replace the entire system with a new one and get away with it?” Because any system will have people at the top, and those people will fight to keep that system in place. I mean, they’re literally at the top, this new system wouldn’t have them anywhere near the top! Are you shitting me? Hell, most of the new systems that might show up would put that bastards in jail for God’s sakes. So yeah, they’ll fight it tooth and nail, why wouldn’t they? And they are literally in charge. And I mean, when I lay it out like that, the answer to this pivotal question is obvious: revolution. You as a people need to muster up the courage and the energy to burn it all down. Those black lives matter protests were huge for this. They pumped with courage AND energy for weeks. And while I think that kind of energy is bound to fade, the courage stays.

I’m writing something in my head right now. I just realized I could probably share it with you in writing... jesus...

Part of my idea for Captain Toch was that he was in the revolution business. He never cared about the who or the why, but he was always ready to create chaos. It was the only place in time he truly thrived. He found that living through a coup was the most profitable thing a person could do. When the ladder falls, it’s all up for grabs, and it’s only really dangerous to the folks trying to scurry back up the ladder. Ettis feels he was made to knock ladders over. He isn’t one for sitting on top of one. It’s two completely different skills, taking people down and building people up. Weaver questions him on this: Don’t you ever feel guilty? You’re success is only ever in the downfall of others? You’re stability only ever comes from the chaos imposed on thousands? But Ettis disagrees. “I’ve never in me whole life seen a ladder that couldn’t use a rattlin’. People pray their whole life that one day the people on top would be shaken from their towers. And the only people that pray that the towers hold steady is the bastards inside ‘em. And I’ve never met a man inside a tower that ‘asn’t overstayed his welcome. Every profound act of chaos would see a new opportunity to establish order. Every tower that falls gives us guys enough pieces left over to build a better one for his kiddos. You’ll always hear buggers beggin’ ya to leave it alone, but they’ll never one of ‘em tell you why you shouldn’t. (I’m not sure yet what Ettis’s take on the dreaded power-vacuum would be. He feels justified in overthrowing governments but is clear that he doesn’t put any effort in helping people put together a better one in the aftermath. He has definitely oversimplified things, and ultimately he mostly just feels like this is his purpose on earth. This is talent, and I don’t think coming after kings who have proven themselves to be villainous should be too problematic to distract the reader from Weaver spending so much time with this character. I definitely think this is a perfectly good reason for Weaver to move on from the Fran’s Lion and onto new adventures after this though)

One thing I do want Weaver to challenge Ettis on is: What do you do when a king is a good man? Would you still topple his leadership for a score? And I think Ettis would tell Weaver that it’s literally never happened. And we’re left to take that how we will. Some part of Weaver doesn’t believe him; like Ettis is manufacturing his righteous position for his own means. But another part of Weaver does believe it. He’d never met a kind ruler or a fair one in his life, although he had seen far fewer. Maybe kings were meant to be taken down from time to time? Maybe this chaos washing up onto these king’s shores was itself part of larger, more natural, order of things. The forest would burn off rotten dead trees from time to time to the benefit of the forest. The rains would run off spent soil into the river to keep the plants coming back each season. Why couldn’t a ship of men come ashore and raise a din looking for treasure, when that treasure only existed in the first place because the king had been poisoned by greed? Still, Weaver couldn’t help but feel a little sad that the first truly great man he’d managed to meet was the one bringing the storm and not building the houses. Maybe bringing order to that many people was simply not a possible task. It just FELT like is was. And that feeling sank into Weaver’s chest. He realized for the first time in his stay aboard the Fran’s Lion he wasn’t feeling hungry anymore.

Huh, I kinda like that. I should write more details for the book like this. I mean, my style still needs work, but all the more reason to keep swinging at it. And style notwithstanding, I think I hammered a decent little idea there at the end. 

You know what? For completion’s sake. Let’s take this time to finish getting the second “analog” blog post summed up in here.

reading------ 7/28/21

Sentence one: OK, writing *not* at my desk is BULLSHIT, and I won’t do it. FUCKING SORRY.

So yeah, it just wasn’t going to happen, lol. Oh wow! My next sentence is literally: I’m still a good person. Deal with it.

I literally said that at the start of this blog too, omg. I forgot about that.

Yeah, I was pretty upset that I couldn’t write while I was there. And to add on to my point at the start of today’s post, this is all evidence pointed to the fact that I can only work so many hours in a day before I run out of juice. I didn’t write when I wanted to when I had a job, and then I had a pseudo-job on the trip, and I couldn’t write then either. And the ONE TIME I did write (I read the rest of 7/28) it was fucking great and it felt fantastic and I got some really good thoughts and ideas down on paper to look back on later, and I STILL couldn’t get into doing it while I was there. It’s not just a good idea to write. I have to make a commitment to it. It’s not a game, even though it sometimes feels like one. Honestly I have to commit to certain games too. I might just be broken, and we’ll have to deal with that. 

So the gist of this blog post was all the frustration I’d been feeling and expressing today, only I was *right* in the thick of it. I was recovering from being pissed at myself, I WAS pissed at myself. And I probably had had a couple drinks at this point in the evening. So I start the blog letting myself off the hook for failing my deadlines as it were. But then I pivot, and I put myself back on the hook! I compare myself to Tom Scharpling, whose memoir I was just about to finish at the time. And while it took him forever and a half to write THAT BOOK, it took him no time at all to *write.* He would not allow himself to quit that. He dug into his ideas and saw them manifested into the world. And I remember seeing that and looking back at all the ideas I had had over the years that I simply allowed to remain ideas. Letting them fade away into the ether, only existing now as electrical signals in my brain with the rest of my cruddy memories.

So then I said in the blog, if you really do feel that bad about it, then you have to write something creative RIGHT NOW. Go ahead. I’ll wait. And I called the creative writing part a “crumb of an idea,” cuz I had to lower the stakes a little. I was stressed out, and on vacation no less!

The crumb was a standup bit that I had formulated earlier in the trip. I’ll actually just transcribe that part right here for posterity’s sake: Do you guys ever call the food in your fridge "food for daddy?" Is that a thing we all do? Like I've got chocolate milk in there, and that's chocolate milk for daddy. Anyone else? Pretty standard, pretty standard procedure, in my opinion. Why? Hmm, good question. You know I guess I'd never really thought of it like that. I guess, which do you prefer? Opening the fridge and grabbing a fruit on the bottom yogurt, or opening the fridge and- "oooh.... fruit on the bottom yogurt for daddy? Mmmmmooyyoommooyhhhguu" [touches fingers to lips because how could you not?] "Ben & Jerry's Coffee Caramel Fudge Non-dairy Frozen Dessert Pint?..... Daddy like.... [like is in italics, and the italics indicate that I'm sultry as FUCK] Anyone else have roommates? Not a partner you live with, just a regular roommate that splits rent with you? And they do their own thing most of the time. And they buy their own groceries and share a fridge with you, so you have to separate your roommate's food from daddy's food? Anyone else? And every now then you have to be like, "Jeff, did you have any of Daddy's babybel cheeses? It's fine if you did, I just don't see very many babybels left, and daddy's going to Jewel this afternoon." By the way, I'm not saying you have to love this joke, you don't have to laugh or anything. I just need to make sure you at least TRY to visualize a husky white single guy in his 30's shouting down a hallway, and the hallway is considerably shorter than what you're imagining, down to a slightly huskier single guy in his 30's, "did you have any of daddy's babybels?" TRY IT. Next time you are putting away a fresh box of Eggo Waffles into your freezer, I want you to whisper to yourself, "Eggos for daddy" and SEE if you life does not appreciably change. And I know a majority of you right now are thinking, "No. I won't do that. This is the dumbest thing I have ever had the misfortune to be subjected to. Move on. Or better yet, just go away." And I will, but just watch. The next time your at the grocery store, you will inevitably walk by the Eggos. And you won't be able to help youself. You can't control it. You're going to think it. You might shake your head in disapproval while you do it, but you're gonna say it. (muttering) "Eggos for daddy" And your partner will be like "what did you say?" (Turns, snapping) DADDY'S EGGOS "...what?" "Forget it" (angrily pushes cart away) This is my power, I tell you now. You either like this premise and you're having a good time. OR, you hate it and a week you're going to snap at your significant other in public. Either way, I win.

See? That wasn't so hard. Now you are free <3 -Max

Oh my god I have to take my THIRD bathroom break since I started this morning. Fucking hell.

So let’s just call it there for today. Lotta good stuff out of the way, and a lot left to do tomorrow (probably). I have to remember to stat tagging these for archival purposes. Like this had standup AND book notes in it. That could be good to check back in on later. Hmm, but the actual hashtags part of tumblr is to help get eyes on your blog, which this is NOT for. (yet? idk) So maybe I’ll just tag them at the end here myself, and I can ctrl+F in the future. Hopefully that works O_O

Standup, EoW (book)

Alright see you tomorrow. Love ya

[kingofattolia]

a list of things about Star Wars: The Last Jedi

TLJ felt like watching two completely separate movies. .. .  one i deliriously LOVED and one i spit upon and shake its profane dust off my sandals

THE GOOD

“ive got an urgent message for General Hux” “YOUR REBELLION IS DOOMED” “yeah... im holding for General Hux”

it straight up took me a minute and a half of this scene to figure out this was actually the start of the movie. it felt like one of those pre-movie skits where it seems like a movie but then anthropomorphic M&Ms tell you to turn your cell phone off. was it just me or were there a LOT more comic moments in TLJ compared to almost every other star wars movie? anyway i loved it even tho it gave the movie a slight someone-made-this-while-high-on-LSD feel 

Leia USING THE FORCE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

R2 playing Luke the “you’re my only hope” recording of Leia, i almost died

FORCE SHENANIGANS. we saw more powerful, dramatic, and varied uses of the Force in TLJ than we have ever before seen in a live action media and i was L I V I N G

“you’ve closed yourself off from the Force”

Rey and Kylo’s foRCE BOND TALKING like this.. . . is so interesting .. .  and it wasn’t only Snoke doing it because they did it again after he’s dead...

Rey lifting 30 giant fricken boulders without even breaking a sweat after having one (1) single “training” session

Kylo remotely activating Anakins lightsaber

projecting himself........ across the entire galaxy. . ..

Yoda. in the former EU the Force ghosts had a non-negotiable expiration date a certain time after their deaths. Obi-Wan couldnt just come back and visit Luke forever, he faded away at some point. is this no longer true??? DOES THIS MEAN ANYONE CAN COME BACK IF THEY WANT??? why was yoda so physical even as a ghost that he could whack luke on the head

summoning lightning like alright this is a new Jedi power im adding to my arsenal

Leia’s mary poppins action

Luke vaulting across the cliff to stab fish

POE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he turned from a kamikaze into a leader who's able to see the big picture and walk away, im so proud

everyone..... messing with Hux...... i loved this

Snoke smacking him into the floor

Kylo smacking him into the wall

Kylo force choking him

slowly taking gun out. . . . . HES AWAKE ABORT ABORT... slowly putting gun back . . . Hux is going spend every waking moment wishing he took that shot

Finn's character arc, like what an awesome Slytherin. the contrast between him and the codebreaker 👌👌👌👌 & where he makes the choice REBEL scum 👌👌👌

LET'S GO, CHROME DOME

i cant believe Phasma died again lol. her backstory novel was SO DRAMATIC and she just dies over and over

when Kylo does that little skid out into the hallway to look for Rey

Chewy breaking down Luke's door

when Luke kisses Leia on the forehead . . . .

kylo KILLING SNOKE I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY. IM SO

this had to happen, it was so obvious but i didnt think they would actually do it, Snoke was so boring and useless, i am SO GLAD they didnt drag him out..... I AM SO HAPPY HES DEAD

it was truly awesome... i couldnt stop grinning it seeing it the 2nd time... "I CANNOT BE BETRAYED, I CANNOT BE BEATEN, I CAN SEE HIS MIND" & then he narrates the entire process of Kylo killing him i was LIVING. everyone theorized for so loooooong and so hard about what form Snoke's control over Kylo took and how it would be possible for him to break it,, , , and then he just DOES IT JUST LIKE THAT by SHEER MISDIRECTION FOLKS I AM SO ALIVE

THE TEAM UP FIGHT

i love lightsaber fights so much i would very nearly give up my critical integrity for a single awesome duel and this was,,, so awesome

when Rey drops her lightsaber to catch it again and cut that guys knees out from under him

when Snoke is cut in half and then the lightsaber rockets towards Kylo and Rey's hand SHOOTS INTO THE FRAME to catch it 👌👌👌

when Kylo takes on FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE

"THE SUPREME LEADER IS DEAD" "long live. . . the supreme leader .. "

not gonna lie, i am such a huge fan of supreme leader!Kylo. CAN HE EVEN LEAD ANYONE??? DOES HE HAVE THE CAPABILITY?? HONESTLY WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO? WHAT WILL HIS SELF-DIRECTED MISSION BE? VADER NEVER GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ATTACK DOG, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING TO HAPPEN

I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IM SO HYPE TO FIND OUT

THIS IS BRAND NEW

"finn! rose! you're not dead! where's my droid"

the little slave kids from Canto Bight. did the kid at the end use the Force to pull his broom!??!

"that library did not contain anything the girl Rey does not already possess" Yoda thinks hes so funny. REY STOLE THE LIBRARY LMAO... thanks Rey... im glad someone around here has a brain...

the Falcon swooping in to draw off the TIEs on Crait

"OH, THEY HATE THAT SHIP"

Vice Admiral Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze. . . aside from the drama of the moment & making Hux look stupid, just visually it was awesome

absolutely every single thing said by either Hux or Kylo in Kylo's command shuttle above Crait

"i want every gun we have to fire on that man"

"blow that PIECE OF JUNK oUT OF THE SKY"

when kylo's like "concentrate all fire on the speeders" and then Hux immediately shrieks "CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THE SPEEDERS" and Kylo looks at him like 🤔

"do you think you got him?"

when Luke faces Kylo

WHEN LUKE FACES KYLO

this scene makes the movie for me honestly. as of now im in a state of uneasy ceasefire with TLJ and the sequel trilogy as a whole. if the scene of Luke facing Kylo did not exist, TLJ would probably be dead to me

"did you come to SAVE MY SOUL" "no."

absolutely everything about Luke was so completely epic in this scene. even though he barely said anything, even the way he stood was epic. im not sure how Hamill did this but it was everything i ever wanted

"i failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." "i'm sURE YOU ARE"

the contrast between Kylo's fighting stance and Luke's

when Luke steps out from the massive cloud and duSTS OFF HIS SHOULDER

this fills me with so much pure glee i could literally ascend

"if you strike me down in anger, i'll always be with you. like your father."

the slow, dawning horror when Kylo starts realizing Luke's not actually there

"see you around, kid"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

my favorite line in the WHOLE THING i could Scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

when Rey slams the door in Kylo's face

THE BAD

Luke should have LIFTED HIS X WING OUT OF THE WATER WITH THE FORCE AT SOME POINT GOSH DARN. i knew from the moment we saw the submerged x wing that this moment was meant to happen.... but then it DIDN’T. like PLEASE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE THIS

the casino subplot. . .  it was awesome for Finns character development but couldn’t he have developed character over an actually materially relevant story arc.. . .

BB-8 didn’t fight Dark BB-8 like what the hell honestly

for what earthly reason does Kylo need to wear his pants up to his armpits. is he TRYING to look like a doofus

why wasn't Lando the master codebreaker. like quite frankly, give me one good reason. why. no. there are no good reasons. when is Lando going to come into it you cowards

honestly....... what the FRICK was that horrible backstory behind what caused Kylo to turn

WHAT THE FRICK

im trying to keep my cool but this is a huge, enormous, and vital problem i have with this movie and whoever came up with that should be shot

Luke, in a brief moment of insanity, ignited his lightsaber over his sleeping nephew's bed to assassinate him because of a vision

LUKE SKYWALKER the guy who wouldnt believe that DARTH VADER, ENSLAVER OF WORLDS, SLAUGHTERER OF CHILDREN, MASS MURDERER OF THOUSANDS, was a lost cause and who refused to kill him, TRIED TO KILL HIS APPRENTICE IN HIS SLEEP

like... do you see my problem?

character assassination. it is ludicrously greater-than-Anakin Skywalker levels of overreaction to a Force premonition that Luke would see a vision of darkness and instantly move to slice his sleeping, defenseless nephew in half, and even in Luke's version of the story Luke is legitimatly the bad guy. he brought about the future he was afraid of, just like Anakin

because of this background, every interpretation is blown wide open to reasonably see Kylo as the victim and Luke's actions as those of a villain. of course he had to defend himself? it's legitimately possible to construe the subsequent killing of the other students as self-defense as well. if they wake up to find Ben having "killed" Luke? anything could have happened, Kylo could honestly have done barely anything bad up to this point and have been driven to the dark side on that one night

it's going to take.... so much work.... to walk this back. obviously Kylo's a villain now, because of what he's chosen to do since then, but for Luke to come out of this not looking like trash, they would have to provide SO MUCH more backstory including the "dark" things Kylo had done to make Luke suspect him, and have him probably be actively seeking darkness while under Luke's tutelage. and then Luke still seems like a fool and a betrayor

maybe they WANT Luke to come off as a legitimately bad person? i've seen some interpretations of TLJ as tearing down "legends" by showing everyone as flawed people, teaching the lesson of not deifying people to Rey AND the audience as well. if thats true and they actually want me to believe Luke is not worth believing in, i'm sorry but i reject that

luke skywalker is not a bad person

rey said "you didnt fail Kylo, Kylo failed you" WHICH... its true that Kylo failed in all his actions after this. but if this is the unmitigated truth about what happened that day, Luke definitely failed Kylo, thats not really arguable

i spit this backstory out of my mouth and stomp on it

bye felicia

"the legacy of the jedi is failure and hypocrisy. at the height of their power they allowed darth sidious to come to power and wipe them out" ok true. "it was a jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of darth vader" YOU TAKE THAT BACK

a related point..... Luke is a coward.

i'm not saying that the only kind of Luke i would accept is HEROIC LEGEND LUKE WHO BURSTS FORTH FROM HIS ISOLATION AND SINGLE HANDEDLY DEVASTATES THE FIRST ORDER. but at the same time, his isolation is NOT in any way comparable to Obi-Wan's. "i came here to die" ok buddy.

dying is all well and good, hiding from your failures, being broken for a while after taking a hit like that

what i am NOT able to forgive is how he abandoned Leia

???? the frick???

"so many losses, i can't take any more" "sure you can" STORY OF LEIA'S LIFE

"im from the resistance, your sister Leia sent me" boy when she says jump you better say "how high?" honestly YOU OWE IT AT LEAST TO YOUR GUILT TO DO THAT FOR HER

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE? SHE'S ON HER OWN DEALING WITH EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE GALAXY AND HE'S DOING WHAT? YOU'RE TELLING ME LUKE WOULD HAVE ABANDONED HIS SISTER LIKE THAT??? AND WHEN SHE SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR HIM HE SAYS "no frick u" ?!?!?

if that's Luke Skywalker then Luke Skywalker is a useless coward

that is not Luke Skywalker

honestly everything Rey said was spot on "Leia sent me here with hope. if she's wrong then she deserves to know why. we all do"

the overall thesis of the sequel trilogy seems to be "there's no point to any of this"

a powerful student turns to the dark side and destroys the Jedi Order. an authoritarian regime destroys the republic and takes over. a small band of resistance fighters rallies against great odds. a Force sensitive from a desert planet teaches herself the Force from old Jedi books after her teacher evaporates into the Force after teaching like 1 lesson. everyone Leia loves dies

guys... i'm tired

it's just exhausting. what is the point? in the sequel trilogy we've seen the republic destroyed, the resistance decimated and harried from place to place until theyre down to 12 people on the millennium falcom. there's only one movie left. they're going to come back from nothing and destroy the first order and then smile at each other in the ashes?

why?>??? what are they going to do? build a republic again? is rey going to build a new jedi order? we've seen how that worked out

there's nothing to believe in here. HOPE is such a strong theme in the sequel trilogy. "as long as there's light we've got a chance" "leia sent me here with hope" "the galaxy has lost its hope, the spark is out." "hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." like good grief. constantly hammering on the need to have hope, but WHY?

what's the point of defeating the imperials, spending your life trying to build something good in the galaxy, trying to build a family, when you're only going to have to do it all again in your old age, when everyone you love is dead?

i cant see any hope if this is the ending for the OT characters, so i powerfully struggle to care about and cheer for Rey, Poe, and Finn. what's the point in anything they're doing? what's the point in the sacrifices they're making? it might turn out just exactly like it did for Luke, Leia, and Han, spending their old age in loneliness, sorrow, and violence

if this is the way history repeats itself, you probably should just make out like the stuttering codebreaker. "dont join"