#‘oh yeah! the avengers exist in this too!’

[wishchip106]

hmm thinking back to when i listened to that unbeatable squirrel girl podcast and Erik would just constantly call in asking for Charles

bro misses his husband forreal

link if anyone’s interested ^^

[notanactressyayy]

—𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭—

pairing . Natasha Romanoff x fem! reader

summary . she needs you, in multiple ways — she's just scared to ask for it.

warnings . smut — I am NOT responsible for the content you consume — thigh riding, scissoring, fingering, vulnerable sex (because yes), taking care of Nat because she deserves it.

notes . English is not my first language, I'm brazilian, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes. this is probably the first fic I ever post so hi hi!!!

(I'm sorry if this is bad, I literally wrote that in a waiting room, completely in a rush.)

divider credits: @cafekitsune ^^

You didn't know exactly why the TV was on. You weren't interested on the show, and Natasha wasn't even looking at it. Her eyes looked down as she fidgeted with her fingers. You could tell she was anxious, that something was bothering her.

You just never expected that this was something to do with you — no, you didn't do anything wrong. It was her.

Natasha and you met years ago, and had been in a situationship for a while now. You weren't friends, but somehow, you couldn't recall the time you started dating (because it never existed). Friends with benefits was too cliché, and maybe not enough to describe what you actually had with her.

To begin with it, you met Natasha when she was still an Avenger. You were never part of the team, but they treated you as if you were. You were close to everyone, but specially Natasha. There was a reason she had let that happen, since according to her, she was in New York to be a hero, and not to have friends.

Friends.

The moment the russian started to blush whenever Thor teased her about how close she was to you or when you simply stared at her for a few seconds or more was when she realized that she made a mistake. A good one, she hoped. In a heartbeat, she was telling you her story.

You listened — just, listened. Your hand went to brush her hair behind her ear whenever she looked down, and the sparkle of pride in your eyes was not something she could miss. You didn't pity her. You didn't try to bring up a justification for what she went through, or to bring up a solution to fix her. You were proud of her for who she became, and were there for her whenever she didn't want to be that person for a while.

It was with that trust in you that she found herself wanting, craving even, something more. She's human, wether she like it or not. She can't deny her feelings or urges, not even the most dangerous spy can.

So her walls broke when you said you were going with her to Norway after the Avengers split.

Natasha shifted a little in the couch, the blankets around her getting all crumpled as she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Your focus went from the soft patting of the raindrops in the window to the woman next to you, as you frowned a bit.

"Nat?" you called, leaning your side against the backrest of the couch and looking at her. "What's wrong?"

She turned to you, a little startled, but tried to shake it off with a small grin. "Oh, it's nothing. It's just a little hot in here."

"We're in Norway," you laughed, giving her that goddamn smile of yours. "And.. it's raining."

"The..." she shook her head, failing miserably to come up with an excuse. "The blankets are making me hot."

"Mhm, are they?" you raised an eyebrow, and pulled the blankets off you both, and letting half of them fall to the floor. "Better?"

Natasha shivered, but nodded nonetheless. You saw she was unquiet, and that this looked a little more serious than the normal.

"Natasha."

"Yeah?"

"What is going on?" you repeated your question, scooting closer to her and placing your hand above hers — just to make things worse.

Natasha almost whined at your action, which made you pull your hand back and frown even more. "I'm sorry,"

"No, it's not your fault." she shook her head. "It's mine."

"Then tell me." you smiled softly, lifting her head up to meet your eyes with your pointer finger. The sight of her green orbs was something you maybe never saw before.

"I..." she mumbled, clearing her throat. She then grabbed your hand and held your wrist gently, not sure of what to do next. "I don't know."

"It's okay," you whispered, bringing her hand up and placing a kiss on it. You had no problem with being affectionate and she didn't mind either, but today, it was different.

"Y/n". Natasha whispered back, looking into your eyes and getting lost in them. She was clearly unsure of what to do, and how to express what she was feeling. So she brought your hand up and placed your palm above her heart. Faster than the speed of light.

"Hey..." you cooed, tilting your head as you felt the aggressive beating against your hand. "You... are you, scared of something?"

"No." she quickly shook her head. She wasn't having any negative emotions right now. "I'm not anxious, I'm not scared.. I'm just.."

"Just what?"

The fact she was not having an anxious episode or a panic attack made you slightly relaxed, but not completely — then you realized, the touches you were giving her made her sensitive. She was needy.

The Red Room turned her into a closed person, and that didn't completely vanish when she was with you — it was like there was a bug in her system that had to be fixed, soon. She couldn't be totally open, but not completely closed.

You smiled at the thought, and leaned in closer, inches away from her face, which made her breathing uneven. "Tell me what you need, Nat."

"I..." she took a deep inhale and placed her hand on your cheek, pulling you into an unexpected kiss — a desperate one.

She kissed you frantically, her movements with urgency as she placed her hands behind your neck, trying to pull you close. You couldn't say you expected this, but it wasn't unwelcomed either.

Your hands went to her waist as she shyly crawled onto your lap, her legs hooking around your hips as she pulled away for air, her forehead against yours.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." she breathed, feeling her eyes start to burn with unleashed tears.

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for." you murmured, arms gently wrapping around her as she straddled you. "It's okay, let's not rush things. Let's take deep breaths, mhm?"

The fact you wanted her to calm down before anything almost calmed her down instantly, but she breathed with you, then leaned her head on yours, her cheek on your hair.

"I just need something," she whispered, more calmly now. "I—I think I need you."

"And I'm here," you turned your head to press a kiss on her temple, caressing her back. The redhead melted.

Natasha leaned down to kiss your lips again, but not with urgency. She sighed softly against your lips, her hands moving to hold your face, and yours, to hold her waist. It didn't take long for her to start moving slowly — she shifted, instead of straddling your lap, her legs were around your thigh. Your eyes opened, and you broke the kiss to look at her.

"Nat, my love," you whispered. "Are you sure of this?"

"Please." she uttered back, closing her eyes and gripping your shoulders. "I know you'd ever hurt me.. you would never disrespect me, you would stop if I asked you to. Right... right?"

You smiled sadly, realizing she was trying to reassure herself, and not actually ask you this. "Yes, yes, Natasha. I want to take care of you. I want to see you, beyond that shell they turned you in. I want you to feel comfortable enough with me to ask for this, and this is such a big step for you."

She sighed in relief, hearing the honesty in your voice. She nodded, clearing her throat. She leaned down, hiding her face on the crook of her neck and pressing small, gentle kisses on it. Then her hips started to slowly move, and the tiniest bit of friction made her gasp. "Y/n..."

"Shh," you held her hips, guiding her through her own pace. The little high waisted shorts she wore rolled up, so surprisingly thick that you could feel her wetness. "That's great, Natty. Move yourself for me, like this."

Natasha whined at your words, starting to grind against you slightly faster. The clothes were starting to feel uncomfortable, as she felt the need of you seeing her. She grabbed your hands, and slowly moved them underneath her blouse.

You did what she wanted, grazing your fingernails against her skin and slowly massaging her flesh, resulting in a soft moan of hers. "Take it off." You looked at her with a questioning look, even if you had an idea of what she was asking for. "Undress me, Y/n."

Given her permission, you smoothly lifted her blouse and pulled it over her head, letting it fall to the floor. She stopped her movements briefly, just so you could slide her shorts and panties down her thighs, her heat now in contact with your leg making you groan.

She felt your hands moving up to unclasp her bra and smirked softly, holding her arms out so you could take down the straps. That woman was surely breathtaking, her body, her marks, her scars, her voice, her everything.

"Natty," you uttered, pressing kisses in the valley between her breasts and moving up, to her ear. "There's so much I wanna do with you..."

Natasha closed her eyes, your touch making her shiver again, as she began to fastly grind her pussy against your thigh. "Please." she quickly removed your shirt and soon enough, you both were completely naked.

The feeling of skin against hers, the human touch that she never felt when getting off with a strap while thinking of you was unbelievable, a touch that she knew that wouldn't hurt her. It was so good, so different from the men she seduced when a spy, so different from the men that touched her in the Red Room.

"My pretty girl," you hissed, throwing your leg above hers and starting to grind yourself with her. "So beautiful, and all mine."

"Yes," she panted, burying her face in your neck again as her nails lightly scratched your back. "Y/n, please."

"You're coming with me." you sweetly commanded. Natasha started to whisper things in Russian that you couldn't really understand, but you took it as a sign that she was close.

Soon enough, Natasha's legs started to shake and her moans on your ear got slightly louder, you both coming together, her juices mixing with yours. She didn't stop, though. You gasped, looking up at her. She still needed more.

"Touch me." Natasha growled, grabbing your hand and moving it close to her cunt. She was starting to feel confident, and you liked it.

You didn't think twice before burying your middle and pointer fingers on her hole, using your thumb to slowly rub circles on her clit, biting your lip at the sight of her back arched. All for you.

"God, Y/n," she moaned, using her own hands to squeeze her breasts and circle her hard nipples. "Yes, just like that."

"You like it like this?" you asked, shoving one more finger inside her, her moans getting louder. She slowly started to lift herself from your fingers, just to lower her hips again, riding your fingers. "You're gonna come for me again?"

"Yes!" she nodded frantically, her breaths coming in little gasps for air. She gripped your shoulders tightly, throwing her head back and orgasming again. It took a while for her to calm down, and you didn't waste time before gently taking her and laying her down on the couch, spreading her legs and pressing soft kisses on her inner thighs, licking her juices and making her squirm around.

"Y/n," she murmured quietly, reaching her arms out.

"Oh, baby." you pulled Nat into an embrace, holding her close to your chest and caressing her hair, running your fingers through her red locks. "It's alright."

Natasha whimpered, wanting to hide herself in your arms and never come out again. She closed her eyes and laid her head on your chest, arms circling your waist.

The talk about this could wait. The silence was comfortable enough for now.

[nerdy-novelist017]

Trouble (Eric Draven x Rebel!Reader)

Bill Skarsgard, covered in blood and acting feral as he violently kills people to avenge the woman he loves?? Yeah, that really did a number on me….but I couldn’t help but fall in love with Eric’s quiet character in the first act so pls enjoy my ramblings! 💕

Eric Draven Masterlist

Word Count- 1.5k+

Summary- Eric's carefully guarded solitude is disrupted by a bold newcomer who seems to be trouble incarnate.

“I wanna get in trouble.”

A voice, sudden and electric, broke Eric from his reverie as a figure’s shadow fell across the intricate lines and shadows of his drawing. He glanced up hesitantly, shielding his eyes from the harsh sunlight behind you. His eyes were met with the sight of you – a tempestuous spirit with wild, untamed hair that cascaded around your face like a mane, defying the order and discipline of this facility. There was a glint in your eyes, mischievous and daring, that seemed to challenge the very atmosphere around you. You loomed above him, a figure of restless energy, waiting for a response that he was unprepared to give. 

“What?” he managed, his voice barely above a whisper, a stark contrast to the boldness of your intrusion. 

You grinned cheekily, and with an audacity that left him momentarily stunned, you stepped up onto the picnic bench he was perched at, planting yourself so that you were sitting on the table as if it was your own personal stage. Your feet, clad in worn, oversized sneakers rested casually on the seat in a silent declaration of your disregard for rules. “Don’t you?”

Eric blinked at you, his brows furrowed as he hastily pulled his papers closer, as if to shield them from your encroaching presence. “No.”

“No?” you parroted, a suggestive playfulness tone to your voice. “But this place is so boring.” 

He glanced around the yard, taking in the stark reality of the rehab facility, his eyes lingering on the chain link fence with its towering barbed wire glinting menacingly in the afternoon sun. “It’s supposed to be,” he said with cold detachment. “And you’re not supposed to be fraternizing with me.”

You followed his gaze, casting a sly look to the guards who stood at the back door, and a smirk danced on your lips. “Uh oh, I wonder what the consequences for that will be.”

Eric wanted to roll his eyes at your attitude. This was how all the newbies were when they came in: brash, defiant and convinced they could outwit the system. They came in with fire in their eyes only for it to be extinguished within days by the crushing reality of their situation. Nobody stayed trouble for long. He watched as their bravado withered, soon to be replaced by resignation. And the ones like you – those who pushed the boundaries with reckless abandon – often found themselves confined to solitary confinement, their spirits slowly eroded by the wright of their own demons. 

“You think I could seduce one of these guards to sneak us in some contraband?” you asked, raising your brow in a conspiratorial way as you nodded toward a pair of male guards standing near the backdoor, idly chatting and sharing a cigarette. 

Eric’s gaze traveled over you, from the oversized, ugly pink sweatshirt that swamped your frame to the untamed hair that framed your face like a wild halo. You spoke of “us” as if any semblance of companionship existed between you too. There wasn’t. It was just him and his solitary existence. He had no need for friends, no desire for connections – especially not from someone like you. 

“No,” he said finally as he returned to his sketch, hoping his blatant disinterest would be enough to drive you away. “You need to get off the table.”

He could feel your eyes on him, your gaze almost too intense. When you tilted your head, studying him in amused disbelief, he knew what was coming. Another newbie thinking they could crack him open like some sort of nut, put together the broken pieces like a puzzle. He kept his attention on the drawing, hoping you’d take the hint and leave him alone. 

“C’mon, you don’t look like someone who’s this much of a stick in the mud.” Your voice was playful, teasing but Eric could sense the challenge beneath it. His silence seemed to fuel you, as if his resistance was exactly what you were hoping for. “What’s your name anyway?”

He hesitated, hating how you were forcing him to interact with you like some needy puppy. “Eric,” he muttered, keeping his gaze locked on the drawing.

“Eric,” you tasted his name on your lips quietly. It grated on him, the way you spoke as if you already knew him, already had him all figured out. “You’re an artist, huh? I bet you’re all dark and broody, right? The strong, silent type?”

His jaw tightened, his pencil pressing a little too hard against the paper. He didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of him, but he could feel your words digging right under his skin. Dark and brooding? Strong and silent? You didn’t know anything about him, didnt understand the darkness that lingered in the corners of his mind, the weight of the silence he carried, yet here you were, already trying to pin him down with labels. And typically, Eric didn’t care what anyone else here labeled him with, but your unnervingly amicable voice was something he wasn’t used to. It was almost laughable, except it wasn’t. It was annoying. 

Your words struck a nerve. He remained quiet, instead choosing to focus on the shading in the corner of his page, tried to drown out the sound of your voice, but he knew his silence was betraying him. The tension in his jaw, the way his grip on the pencil tightened – it all gave him away, and he could almost feel you noticing it, filing it away for later. God, why couldn’t you just leave him alone? 

Then you leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a whisper for only his ears to hear. “You know, I think you want to get into trouble. You’re just too scared to admit it.”

His eyes snapped up to meet yours before he could stop himself, his heart racing at the sudden intensity in your eyes. And there was something in your gaze that unsettled him. Annoyance flared up first, hot and defensive. But beneath that, he felt a flicker of . . . curiosity. And he hated that too – hated that you were getting under his skin. What the hell did you even know about him? What gave you the right to pry into his life, his thoughts.

“You don’t know anything about me,” he retorted, his voice sharper than he intended, the words escaping in a rush of defensiveness. 

You shrugged, unbothered by his tone, a playful smile tugging on your lips. “Maybe not yet, but I’m good at figuring people out. And I think you’re bored out of your mind here, just like me. You’re dying for something – anything – to happen.”

Eric shook his head, forcing himself to look back down at his sketch. “You’re wrong.” 

Even to his own ears, the denial sounded weak, and that only served to deepen his irritation. 

You let out a dramatic sigh, stretching your arms overhead, and Eric resisted the urge to glance up. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. I’m always up for a little fun.”

“Fun,” he echoed, the word leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He wasn’t even sure why he bothered to respond, but something about your persistence was unraveling him bit by bit. “That's what got us in here in the first place. 

You paused, and for a second, Eric thought maybe he had finally shut you up. He looked up and caught a flicker of something else in your expression, something serious that made his chest tighten with a feeling he couldn’t quite name. But just like that, it was gone, replaced by that infuriating grin. 

“Maybe,” you said, your voice softer, thoughtful in a way that made him uneasy. “But maybe that’s what will get us out of here too.”

Eric watched as you slid off the table, landing lightly on the ground. For a moment, he thought you might actually leave him alone, and the relief that washed over him was sweet. But then you turned back, hands stuffed into the pocket of that oversized sweatshirt, your grin still in place – though it didn’t seem to reach your eyes quite the same as before. 

“See you around, Eric,” you said before sauntering off, as if you didn’t just turn his whole world upside down in a matter of a few minutes. 

He stared after you, watching as you kicked at the feet of another unsuspecting patient who grumbled at you as you passed. His mind raced, his drawing forgotten, the lines and shadows now blurring together in an indistinct mess. He hated how you so easily managed to disrupt his carefully-constructed isolation, how you made him think about things he thought he’d buried a long time ago. He wanted to believe you were just another reckless newbie, just another faceless patient in a sea of addicts who would burn out soon enough. But something in the pit of his gut told him you were different – something he couldn’t shake. 

In the silence that followed your departure, Eric was left to grapple with the realization that the trouble you brought was not just a disruption, but a catalyst for change, a challenge to his solitude. And now as he returned to his meaningless drawing, he wondered briefly if perhaps your indelible, chaotic presence was exactly what he needed to rewrite his own story in the hell hole. 

And that scared him more than he’d like to admit.

Tagging some of you who seemed interested!

@apolloanddaphnis @one-of-thewalkingdead @m00npjm @maimai-0603 @redwitchbitch1 @at-midnight @fandom-fanatix @spoiled-bat13 @alinahdee @mrsalwayswrite

[allophonicmess]

Too Sweet

Logan Howlett x fem!Reader

Act 3

Warnings: spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine

This is a fluff chapter. Gotta give you guys some candy after all that angst

Word count 4.1 K

Life resumed as normal after that. Or as normal as it could be when you are suddenly placed in the new timeline. Logan kept getting confused by little details that were different to the life he had lived before. Professor X ? Sure he exists but he had hair. Cyclops? Oh yeah. He was just as annoying as he remembered. Who are the fucking Avengers and what sort of rich nerd was Tony Stark? And what about Jean?

“A hot red head with the telekinetic powers?” Wade hummed, pretending to be lost in thought. “Uh, no. UNLESS! Charles used to have a beautiful flowing mane that I don’t know about. He is turning grey, you know… but it suits him. Silver fox”              

So Jean was out of the picture. That was good, right?

Logan groaned at Wade's bad joke. He shifted his focus outside, watching the landscape change from looming tall skyscrapers to even fields and trees that started changing colour with the season. It reminded him of home.

“Just to get this straight.” Logan shifted in his seat. The car that Wade had bought from the dealership had been heavily discounted and Logan now understood why. You would think it can’t get worse than the Odyssey? Oh boy, were you wrong. It was too small for 4 people, let alone 2 mutant men. He already felt sorry for whoever might have to sit in the back for whatever reason.

“Y/N has powers?” Logan asked, trying to play it cool. The whole drive had been a big Q&A.

“Yup,” Wade said with a pop. One hand on the steering wheel and the rest of him laid back in his seat.

“They call her Osmium, too?” Logan didn’t like this dependency on the wanna-be hero. But he had to make a good first impression.

“Osmimimum? Uh no. She is called Atom” Wade laughed “Don’t if she actually does stuff with atoms… It's more like…” Wade groaned as he tried to think of an example.

“She manipulates density.” Logan pointed out. They had trained together many times. But Y/n was never allowed to use her full potential with the X-men. They condemned violence and so she was often left out on mission and focused on keeping the school running.

“Ugh- I guess? She once told me in great, boring detail why ‘Atom’ is a bad superhero name for her but they kept it for the marketability. “ He shrugged “Oh! I remember that one time we stopped a child-mutant trafficking and she got mad, like REAL MAD, and then she turned this one guy into goop.” Wade nodded fondly, thinking back at that moment. “And I mean like Nickelodeon kids choice award goop, like slurpable slushy goo, like-“

“Okay, alright! I get it.” Logan groaned in annoyance. Shaking his head at Wade. He was thankful for the man’s support and friendship but god was he annoying. Constantly.

“I wish she would do that to me sometime. It’s on my ways-to-die bingo. But she keeps refusing!” Deadpool hit the wheel dramatically.

“You are disgusting,” Logan stated dryly. “The most disgusting person I ever met.”

“Don’t forget the most annoying!”

...

The decision to go back to teaching was not made out of fun or for the joy of doing it. Maybe partially, even though Logan would not openly confess so. It was made out of necessity. Living with Wade and Al became tiresome after the first few weeks. It was always the same antiques, the lack of schedule as well as a constant state of chaos that made him crave the ordered life at the school once again. He hoped that it would give him a sense of belonging. The X-men might be different here, with a few quips and details that didn’t match with his reality. But living at the school would tie him to a strict schedule and by god, he needed some structure in his life.

 But all in all, it meant home.

“Okay, peanut. Today is a big day. But I know you’ll do great and meet a lot of new friends.” Wade joked in a motherly tone as they arrived at the Mansion. “And no hair pulling or biting unless they ask for it, okay?”

“I can’t wait to be rid of you” Logan groaned as the car came to a halt. He exited the car with a low groan, stretching to lose stiffed muscles. Not having to constantly ride in Wade's joke of a car was another reason that he preferred living at Xavier’s Institution. Speaking off:

“There you are. Welcome, welcome.” Xavier rolled into the mansions yard.

“A pleasure to have you, Logan. I must say, I was very pleasantly surprised when I received your response to my inquiry.” He moved towards Logan, offering his hand for a handshake.

Logan inspected the man. He was older, in his 40s maybe. But younger than the Charles Xavier he had worked with. He sported shaggy longer hair that was starting to thin out. Soon he would need to get it trimmed to keep his professional exterior. Along with a beard that was rather spotty and seemed too reminisce of his look in the 70s. Xavier looked like a mix of the two versions that Logan got to meet during his time at the school and it made him wonder how time worked here. Events seemed to play out in different order, they didn’t happen at all or much later than seemed correct.

He shook Xavier’s hand, thanking him for the offer. “Of course. I was surprised when you contacted me.” Logan confessed. His gaze shifted towards the grand building in front of him. It was the same old English style build that he knew, with a few modern elements added here and there.

“Is it familiar to you? The school? I assume you have experienced quite a few dejá-vus since arriving here.” Charles observed Logan.

“I do. Some things are the same. Others don’t match what I know or didn’t happen at all.” He confessed. Already feeling the brother connection build, similar to the one he had with the other Charles.

“You will find your answers. I am sure of it.” Charles turned around motioning Logan to follow him inside. “I think it is best if we continue this conversation in my office.” He looked over his shoulder at Wade, who had waited in the car, listening in on the conversation.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll be on my way. You call me if you need to get picked up, Pookie!” He waved at Logan in a motherly way.

“You aren’t coming?” He asked, somewhat confused. But then he saw Charle’s face, the intense stare he gave Wade.

“Uhhh, no I technically have a house ban for no apparent reason-“

“You burned down the west wing” Charles answered dryly.

Wade clicked his tongue, “Right, okay. Yeah… But! It’s very modern now.” He chuckled weakly. “You’ll still call me up for a mission, right?” He tried to persuade the professor.

“If the mission takes place outside of my building then yes.” Charles agreed, focusing back on Logan. And leading him inside. Neither of them commented on the cheer that Wade gave as he drove off.

Being back at the school felt surprisingly good to Logan. It was like coming back from a long holiday. Most everything was the same: Students running in the hallways, playing games in the gardens and-

“Fancy seeing you here!”

Logan turned around quickly, looking for whoever addressed him. Some children were buzzing along the halls, none of them too interested in him. Then he spotted her by the stairs. Leaning onto the dark wooden rails of the gallery. The light from the window behind her illuminating her figure.

“Y/n”, he breathed.

“Hi! Charles told me that you wanted to start teaching again.” She made her way downstairs, focus shifting between not falling and keeping her gaze on him. She seemed pleasantly surprised to see him.

He turned more toward her, watching her get closer to ground level. With each step he felt his excitement grow “He contacted me, actually. Asked whether I wanted to work here…”

“Oh really? What a coincidence ”She grinned mischievously, stopping at the end of the stairs and leaning on one of the bannisters. She kept a little space between them. There might be some familiarity between them but she didn’t want to push him too far yet and give him the chance to get closer to her if he felt like it.

But Logan stayed in place: “Do you have anything to do with that?”

She smirked,  and he felt some of his charm return to him . He might be rusty but some things were just engraved in him.

“Maybe” She shrugged, smiling softly with a playful sparkle in her eyes “But I’m assuming that you won’t be teaching history, right?” Y/n teased carefully. The multiverse situation was a thing she wanted to be careful about. Wade had told her a little bit about what had happened to Logan before he transferred but she didn’t know any details.  

“No, I teach PE and defence classes. You do science, right?” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, hoping to lose the tension in his body. He threw the tidbit of knowledge into the conversation, hoping that he was right and that the two versions of her had that much in common.

“Chemistry and Literature, yeah.” She smiled. She then looked at her watch before pointing towards another corridor with a sigh “I’d love to talk more, but I need to get to class. Maybe we could meet sometime.” She secured the book in her arms.

“Yes.” He answered with a stiff nod, his hands were getting sweaty.

They stood In awkward silence.

“Maybe over a coffee?” She asked, looking up at him, her lip curled upwards. Her look became more expecting as he watched her in silence.

 He would catch the bait she just threw, right? Scott had laughed when she asked him about what Logan had been like; What this version might be like.

 ‘He’s an asshole’ He said ‘a cocky asshole and who thinks he can charm any girl he likes’ she blushed at that comment ‘But he is into the dark, mysterious type if that is what you are after’

“Maybe”, Logan gave  cold and curtly.

He regretted his demeanor when he saw her smile slip for just a moment.

Fuck.

Her face slipped for a moment “Oh.. okay.” She huffed softly. “See you around then.” Y/n nodded quickly before running off.

...

A routine established itself after the first weeks back at the school. The work there itself was the same. Teach the children standard curricula, training them in controlling their powers and some extracurricular activities.

He would spend some evenings with the other members of Team X ,as they called themselves here. Sometimes he would meet Y/n in the hallway but he didn’t work up the courage to stop and talk to her beyond a quick ‘hello’.

What is wrong with you? You used to sweep women off their feet. She is offering herself to you at any chance and you still can’t manage to ask her out?

He sighed as he changed back into his regular clothes. The class had just ended. It was Friday, still fairly warm for October and the trees looked beautiful in all shades of red, orange and yellow.

 Would be perfect for a romantic walk… A charming, rugged man could ask a woman out for that.

“That guy died a long time ago…” He mumbled to himself. Picking up his bag and closing the locker.

He exited the gym, making his way to his room or rather apartment. Wade managed to burn down the teacher's quarters along with the kitchens and cafeteria in some wicked stunt. No one knew what happened and that was for the best, he guessed.

However, that incident resulted in a modernized reconstruction with more spacious rooms for the teachers and a communal cafeteria that students and members of Team X shared.  Great for extroverts but Logan had to pass it every time he went to his rooms, much to his dismay. To make it worse,  the communal space was separate from the hall via a glass wall, allowing for a perfect view of everyone who tried to sneak past. Which led to uncomfortable situations such as this.

“Logan!” Piotr called, waving his huge metallic arm to get the other man's attention. Logan's initial reaction was to ignore him as he had done many times with the members of his old team.

No, he wanted to do better. He needed to. It was that kind of behavior that made him spiral in the first place. So he took a deep breath and channeled all jolliness available to him after 6 hours of teaching and a generally low level of it to begin with.  He slowly made his way towards the teacher's table.

“Come, eat with us.” Piotr offered him the seat next to him on the thick wooden bench. A seat opposite of… fuck- of fucking course he was in on Wade’s plan to play matchmaker.

 “We can’t have you get scrawny, eh?” he joked.

“Not that that would be likely to occur” Y/n joked as Logan sat down. His look snapped towards her and her eyes widened in shock at what had just come out of her mouth.

A knowing, wicked grin spread across Colossus's face. That fucking asshole…

“What are we having?” Logan asked, ignoring the situation that had just occurred. He tried to keep his gaze on Piotr who was busy filling a plate with whatever was in the big metal pot on the side of the table. His eyes shifted to Y/n every so often.

“Pierogi. I am trying out new recipes for a cooking class with my students” He said proudly, placing the plate in front of Logan “Y/n said, they are very good. Right?” He asked her, putting the woman on the spot.

“Oh, uhm…yeah. I like the new… stuffing.” She said, the answer sounding more like a question, carefully looking at Logan when he tried it. She was thankful for Piotr’s brotherly demeanor and gentle nature. Yet sometimes he would tease her as any older brother liked to do. And they sure liked to do it in front of people that the younger sibling might fancy.

Logan nodded in agreement, complimenting the man for his cooking.

“You cook here regularly?” He asked with a mouthful.

“Of course! Cooking is a very important life skill. As well as baking. You should join one of Y/n’s baking classes, she is very talented.” Colossus complimented the woman, making her grin.

“I plan on holding a workshop on the weekend for older students and alumni. You should come.” She offered, a hopeful look in her eyes. Maybe she was too discrete the last time she tried to get Logan to ask her out. So this time she tried to be more direct with her offer.

“I don’t bake,” Logan answered in a backhanded comment as he continued to eat. He didn’t think too much about it. He had planned to ask her out after lunch. He was overly focused on what he would say to her once the others left to notice how he had sounded.

It only occurred to him when he saw how Y/n visibly deflated. “Oh, right” She hummed, swallowing another bite of her food, eyes looking anywhere but towards the man who had once again rejected her so swiftly.

Piotr, just sighed with disappointment, leaning back in his chair. His hard elbow bumped into Logan’s side.

You fucked it up. Again.

...

“Okay, stop. You mean to tell me that she tried to ask you out not once but TWICE and you rejected her?” Wade paced through the living room. Trying to make sense of what his friend had just told him. “You mean to tell me that you now spend 3 months at that school? Being in her proximity 24/7 and actively avoiding her?”

Logan sat on the familiar black couch that looked even more beaten up than the last time he was at the flat. With disgust, he realized that he didn’t even want to know what caused the new damage.

 “I don’t avoid her”

“Oh no? And yet the few times she does catch you creeping in the halls you manage to scare her off.” Deadpool said down one of the rotatable bar chairs. Swirling dramatically.

“No wonder the girl’s not interested in a sad drunk fuck like you,” Al commented from the table where she sat, carefully packaging her newest acquisition of sellable goods.

“ No, Al that’s the thing! The girl wants him DESPITE being a sad drunk fuck!”  Wade jumped from the chair to pace around some more. He had to come up with a plan to get the two to spend time together, and get to know each other better. Create some closeness to let the sparks fly and catch on.

“That’s even worse.” Al laughed, snoring.

“Thank you for the compliments… Reassuring.” Logan groaned, regretting to even have answered Wade when he asked him about how things were going with Y/n. Maybe he wasn’t ready to be with someone again. He liked her and wanted to get to know her but something was stopping him. The urge to protect her from danger and he still thought of himself as the greatest danger to her and his team.

“On the other hand, she is still interested after being rejected TWICE. So you still have a chance, Pookie.” Wade said, sitting down next to Logan, yet again way too close.

“I’m gonna help you, buddy, Don’t you worry.” He leaned in closer, his lips brushing Logan's ears “Act three needs some lovin’ and I make sure you get all the loving you need, baby” He whispered towards Logan. And with dread, and a bit of disgust,  Logan accepted that he had no chance of stopping the man.

...

By the time the midterms rolled around, Logan had gotten familiar with the schedule and his  profession once again. He slept better, tended to snap less at people and even his drinking tendencies seemed to get better. Being part of a community felt good and it made him angry at his younger self for rejecting the people who loved him out of some ill-placed ideology: that to keep them safe, he had to distance himself from them.

And yet you are doing it again.

He sighed as he trotted into the community kitchen. He broke his coffee maker in a fit of frustration last week and hadn’t found the time or energy to tell Charles to get a new one. He stayed out of the professor's way for the most part, not wanting to be roped into some conversation about ‘needing therapy’. So he sourced his caffeine intake from the machine that sat in the big, homely department kitchen. Another benefit was that there was always a fresh pot ready and waiting for him. Downside, there were almost always people in the kitchen, waiting for others to join in for conversation and breakfast.

This morning he should be safe from conversation. Most students and some staff went home for the fall semester break, leaving the school running on a minimal level to accommodate those who had no home to go to. There were no classes, meaning that the school apparatus calmed to a halt.

In practice that meant that almost everyone slept in with no pressure to get up early. And for Logan, that meant that he could enjoy his drink in peace before people tried to talk to him.

Lost in thought he strolled into the kitchen. It seemed empty, thank god. He sighed in relief, stretching languidly. The air exiting his lungs in a low groan.

Then a soft click sounded through the room.

A fridge being closed.

“Oh hey, you’re up early.” Y/n appeared behind the full-size fridge door that had previously shielded her from his view. She looked a little tired, not yet fully awake and a bit tousled from sleep.

Aww C’mon. Maybe Wade was right about the universe wanting them to come together. But primarily to annoy him and allow for Wade to give him the ‘I told you so’ speech.

“So are you.”  He answered, leaving on the door frame and watching her pour some creamer into her cup. Upon closer inspection, she did look younger than her other iteration. Her features were softer looking with fewer wrinkles and scars. He needed to ask her about that at some point.

She leaned onto the counter to reach for another cup, taking it out of the overhead cabinet. Proceeding to pour some coffee in it. “How do you take your coffee?” She asked, turning towards him.

“I’ll take two sugars” He answered, moving towards her with slow even steps. The threat of Wade’s ‘help’ kept looming in the back of his mind, pushing him to be more open towards her and to come out of his shell. Who knows what that maniac had in mind?

Y/n hummed in agreement, dropping in two cubes of sugar and stirring the dark liquid before handing it to Logan.

He thanked her softly, holding the porcelain with his much larger hands. He had moved quite close to her, both leaning against the kitchen counter. The closeness and difference in height between them meant that Y/n had to look up to him, to make eye contact.

With a grin he noticed how she shifted her stand, one hand bunching up the material of her cardigan.

You still got it if you let it happen, man.

They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, enjoying their drinks and watching the sun paint pictures onto the kitchen surfaces, colored by the stained glass windows.

She was the one who broke the silence. “Are you ready for the training session today?” She asked, turning towards him, shifting her position so that her hip was pressed against the counter.

“Training?” He asked confused, setting down his cup to cross his arms over his chest, the muscles shifting visibly under his skin.

That’s right! Show her what you got!

“Yes, staff training? We got the call from Washington about a mutant security threat. Charles wants us to be ready just in case. Do you read your emails?” She teased, watching him over the rim of her mug.

“I don’t know how that stuff works if I’m honest with ya.” He shrugged “Do you go on missions regularly? On Government orders?” He remembered that Xavier had mentioned something along the lines of that. Some complicated struggles between heroes about government regulation and so on.

“Yes, after the blip it was decided that an X-team force should be established to take care of mutant-related threats or endangerments.” She explained.

He had heard of that, too. “Right. What was that blip again?”

The energy in the room shifted suddenly.

Y/n huffed, almost spilling a bit of her drink. “Ha, that’s a bit of a heavy topic for morning coffee talks.” She looked around uncomfortably. Logan seems to have hit upon a heavy subject.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He apologized quickly. Beating himself up for screwing it up once again.

“No, no it’s fine.” She shook her head, setting down her drink to cross her arms as he did. Only that she seemed to do it defensively. “Half of all life stopped existing for five years and… that left a few scars.” She explained somberly, softly nodding to herself.

Logan blinked, his mind moving at high speed to get the conversation on a good topic again. Anything to turn it around and to prevent her from having a bitter aftertaste to their first proper talk.

Yet it was her, once again, that stepped up. She noticed how he got nervous, eyes wandering, shoulders sagging.

“I’ll explain it to you later. When we are not so pressed on time.” She reached out slowly, placing her hand on his arm, squeezing it in reassurance. Y/n smiled at him softly, moving around him to exit the kitchen and prepare for the day ahead.

Without thinking Logan placed a hand over hers, just in time before she pulled hers away. It had her stop in her tracks. Her eyes moved to where his rough callused palm warmed the back of her hand, up to his eyes. He was watching her with intention.

She was nervous. This was either going to be an invitation to finally get to know him or he had enough of her and told her to stop fancying him.

“You can explain it to me on a walk to the lake? Tonight?” He asked, one eyebrow raising in question. His hand squeezed hers gently.

A second of silence followed.

She exhaled, the stress leaving her body but she had to keep her composure. A grin spread across her face “Sounds like a plan.” She held eye contact for a few beats, then let her hand slip out of his hold as she left.

That’s how you do it, Tiger!

Her lips pressed together to keep from smiling too hard as she exited the hallway.

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[mysecretlittlelibrary]

I Love You When You Don't Love Yourself

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Self deprication??? People talking shit I dunno

Genre: fluff and maybe angst

Summary: Bucky let's the opinions of random people get in his head a little too much on a night out

***

You take one last look at your makeup in the mirror before deciding you're satisfied with the look.

"You almost ready to go doll?" Bucky asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"Perfect timing. Yeah, I just need to put my heels on." You say standing up and walking over to your shoes which you'd left by your closet. Bucky meets you by them and leans down to slip your heels onto your foot. Oh, how he treats you like a princess.

"You look amazing." He tells you as he stands back up, kissing your temple softly.

"Thank you, so do you." You say. Bucky's hand settles against your back as it always does when you're walking.

"Alright let's get on with this." Bucky says as you leave the tower.

"Do you think everyone's already there?"

"Steve definitely is, Nat probably isn't yet, Tony definitely isn't, Wanda and Vis I'd guess yes. Everyone else is up in the air but everyone's left here."

"Last to go-"

"We won't be the last to leave. Telling you now." He tells you.

"I know." You laugh. "Trust me I have no desire to stay the latest."

The Avengers team has been invited to a charity gala which normally nobody would even think about going to, but after the last several months, you definitely think the team could use the positive press so a number of you are going, to represent the team. It takes you and Bucky 20 minutes to get to the venue and Bucky groans when he sees the red carpet lined with photographers.

"No way there's a red carpet here." He rolls his eyes.

"Of course there is. These galas are a gold mine for PR brownie points." You say. "Just smile baby, if they ask us anything worth answering I can do the talking."

"Works for me." Bucky says leaning over the center console to kiss you quickly before getting out of the car. Bucky hands the keys to the valet as he walks around the front before opening your door. He holds out a hand to help you out and then shifts that hand to your lower back, leading you down the red carpet. You can hear a cluster of voices shouting both of your names behind the disorienting flashes but it's hard to make anything out specifically. That is until you catch one voice above the rest.

"Y/n! What's it like dating the Winter Soldier!?"

You can feel Bucky tense a bit beside you though he tries not to let it show on his face. You flash a bright smile at the sea of photographers and slip your hand behind you to quickly squeeze Bucky's.

"Oh well I wouldn't know, the Winter Soldier doesn't exist anymore." You say easily.

"Are you saying you don't think your boyfriend is dangerous!?" Another voice.

"Not any more than any other avenger. I honestly think that the most volatile of us is Tony! But- for some reason, nobody's worried about the guy who can fit rocket blasters into a briefcase- just the... guy who can punch really hard." You let out a half laugh to lighten the severity of your words but you know you've done what you were trying to do when Bucky pulls you closer subtly and the questions stop. "Ciao!" You add with a light wave. You and Bucky walk the remainder of the carpet, posing every so often until you make it inside.

"The guy who can punch really hard?" He quirks an eyebrow at you once you're inside.

"Well yeah. Don't get me wrong you're plenty dangerous- but we have a god that can summon lightening, a witch that can completely warp reality, a kid who has the strength to throw an entire airplane- and I mean Tony's just some guy comparatively however- that suit of his has military grade weapons and he could at one point carry in a briefcase, I feel like you are not the biggest threat to humanity even in this room."

"You make us all sound dangerous."

"You are. We are. Honestly, the world is just lucky Tony thinks that being a hero comes with more glory than being a villain, and the rest of us have decent moral compasses. The line between hero and villain is pretty thin and when you have abilities people don't understand you are always walking that line. They could turn us into fugitives tomorrow. That's why we do things like charity galas so that's less likely to happen."

"You know we are so lucky you're around because I don't think anyone else would care to protect us in this way." Bucky slings his arm across your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

"True but I suppose that's the good thing about a team, everyone offers a different skill set." You shrug with a chuckle.

"You're so amazing." He says kissing your temple.

"Well I have to be, my boyfriend's pretty cool you know." You smile.

"Oh, is he?"

"Yeah, the coolest." You nod.

"He's a lucky man." Bucky chuckles. 

"Sure is. But I think I'm luckier."

I think he'd disagree."

"I'm sure. Let's go find our seats."

"I'll get us drinks first and find you at our table after." Bucky says removing his arm from your shoulder but kissing your hand before he lets you go.

"You sure?"

"I could track you down in a sea of thousands doll, go. I'll see you in a few." He says.

"Something fruity please." You tell him.

"I know what to do." He winks and walks off. You pivot towards the tables to search the name cards for your and Bucky's seats.

"Y/n, hi I'm Noah, I just wanted to say that I'm a huge fan of yours." The man, Noah, appeared pretty much out of nowhere.

"Hi Noah, thank you. Just- trying to do what's right." You smile. You'll admit you've not had many adults come up to you and say they're fans?? It's usually kids so you're not sure what's the best approach here.

"Oh you don't have to be so modest! You're a hero! You've earned every right to brag."

"I'm not really the bragging type is all." You chuckle.

"That's so honorable." He nods. You hum in response.

"I'm gonna go find my seat, but it was nice to meet you!"

"Oh did you come alone? Is someone waiting for you?" He asks.

"What?" You blink at him.

"Well just that you're usually always with the one with the arm- the soldier."

"Bucky." You say.

"Right him. I'm just surprised to see you without him." Noah shrugs.

"Oh, he's here. He went to get us drinks."

"Interesting. I'm surprised."

"By what? Like you said we're always together." You shrug.

"Yeah, right, I know I guess I just thought by now you'd wake up."

"Excuse you?" You scoff.

"Oh come on darling, you and I both know you can do way better than that killer you're with now." He smirks placing a hand on your arm.

"If you want to keep that hand I suggest you keep it to yourself because if you touch me again you won't have to worry about 'that killer I'm with' I'll end you myself." You smile back at him.

"Fiesty."

"Yes, I tend to be when you insult my loved ones. Go figure. I'm going to go find my seat now before you dig yourself a hole too deep to climb out of, enjoy your evening." You say before walking away. Perhaps you should've mitigated that without threatening him, if it reflects badly on the team you could be undoing the very thing you came here for and that's usually Tony's area of expertise, oh there's your name but I mean that guy totally had it coming he was being an absolute jerk. How dare he say-

"Found ya." Bucky kisses your cheek as he sits beside you, cutting your train of thought.

"Hey." You smile giving him a peck on the lips. "What'd you get me?"

"I forget the name but it's a vodka cran with peach and lime basically, something from their specialty menu. I thought you'd like it." He shrugs.

"I'm sure it's lovely, thank you." You tell him taking a sip. It is pretty good. "What'd you get yourself?"

"Just a whiskey." He says. "Anything fun happen while I was away?"

"Nope, I ran into some guy before I found our seats but, that's an interaction barely worth mentioning." You roll your eyes.

"Uh oh, what'd he do?"

"Doesn't matter." You say with a kiss. "Have you seen anyone else yet? It looks like none of us are at the same tables." You point out.

"I saw Tony and Pepper's place cards but they're not sitting if they're already here."

"Oh, what table are they at?" You ask.

"It's over there, and don't worry I already told the bartender that Tony is only allowed one drink." Bucky says making you giggle.

"Well, that's a relief. Let's hope he didn't prepare for that restriction." You hum.

"I think Pepper keeps him on a pretty tight leash so it shouldn't be a problem. I just figured you'd rather be safe than sorry."

"When it comes to Tony's alcohol consumption absolutely." You nod.

"Oh my god is that the winter soldier?" You hear a voice whisper next to you.

"I can't believe they let him in here." Another hushed voice responds, making your jaw clench.

"Well I'm not about to sit next to him." Voice one scoffs.

"I'm sure we can get someone to switch with us it's fine. Come on." Voice two says and the two scuttle off.

"Fucking idiots." You roll your eyes. Bucky clears his throat and takes a sip of his whiskey.

"Oh look there's Vis." Bucky points out the red synthezoid at a table a few rows away from you.

"Okay so we're here, Pepper and Tony should be, Vision and Wanda are there, isn't Steve coming? I wonder where he'll be sitting." You hum.

"I bet he's already in his seat. Look for a bunch of giggling women hovering at a table and we'll probably find him at the center."

"I wonder why they sat us all apart."

"I imagine to promote mingling. All the Avengers at one table would be rather intimidating for the rest of the gala I think. No one would approach us." He shrugs.

"Oh maybe." You hum. You pick up the program sitting on the table to get an idea of how the evening is meant to play out. They'll start with an opening address, then serve dinner, then do the auction items, and the rest of the night will be dancing and mingling. You and Bucky entertain each other at the table until someone begins the night's todos with the opening address. The speech is about five minutes long, thanking guests and talking about the importance of the cause. Dinner orders from the preselected menu are taken quickly and food is brought out within 15 minutes.

"See I told you it was him." You hear a hushed conversation, not at your table but close. Bucky's hand hovers over the fork that he had been reaching for.

"My goodness you were right. That's scary."

"And to think he has a girlfriend walking around like that." That's the line. Bucky stands from your table abruptly and storms off. You hurriedly gather your purse to follow after him but you stop at the table you'd heard the voices coming from.

"If you guys are so bored with your lives that you have nothing better to do than gossip the least you could do is keep your pathetic opinions to yourself." You scoff before walking off to track down your boyfriend.

"Bucky wait." You call when you catch up to him just outside the venue.

"I want to leave." He says.

"It's barely been an hour-"

"And in that time there have been four separate instances of people talking about me like some zoo animal who can't fucking hear them."

"Four?"

"I heard that guy telling you that you can do so much better than the 'killer you're with now', so yeah. Four."

"We'll leave." You nod. Bucky hands his ticket to the valet and it takes almost no time at all for them to bring your car around to the front.

Your drive home is silent, though you rest a comforting hand on Bucky's thigh as he drives. Back in your room at the tower is where the quiet is finally broken.

"I'm sorry." Bucky frowns.

"What on earth for?" You shake your head at him

"I totally ruined the evening. I know this was- important to you that we go." He sighs.

"Don't be ridiculous. There are enough Avengers there to represent the whole team Bucky we didn't have to go, we didn't have to stay. Plus I never want you to be somewhere you don't feel comfortable. The gala is not nearly as important to me as your feelings." You tell him.

"Everything would be so much easier if it wasn't so-"

"Bucky don't. That's a dangerous path to start down. There is nothing wrong with you."

"Stop, y/n. Stop pretending that you don't hate it. If I could still have my normal arm I-"

"Well you don't." You snap, cutting him off.

"What?" He blinks at you.

"You don't have your 'normal arm' Buck, and I didn't even know you when you did. I fell in love with you with the metal one attached to your body, and it's the only you I've ever known. How could you possibly think I hate it?"

"You heard what people were saying tonight-"

"I'm not dating any of them or their opinions. And neither are you. Who gives a fuck what they have to say about it? Don't let them decide what parts of you are worth loving." You say grabbing his face.

"Don't you get tired?"

"No. I'd happily spend the rest of my life clapping back at people's ignorant comments if it meant always coming home to you. I've fought evils those peabrains couldn't even comprehend if they tried, their narrowminded drivel means nothing to me. They're like walking talking gossip rags. Who pays those any attention?" You roll your eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too. All of you. Even with your metal arm and your chaotic history. Don't you dare let random noise make you forget that." You poke his chest.

"Alright alright." He laughs pulling you against his chest into a hug.

***

[missmarveledsblog]

It's just pretend right? ( Bucky barnes x reader ) part 6

summary : revelations and secrets are finally revealed as kitty comes to terms with everything she thought she knew and was about to know and well once one avenger is attack well it's an attack on them all as the team visit the ranch .

warnings : this is a happier part sad but happy and sort of goofy

previous part

“ she not the only one , gonna need a little more than that terminator “ tony called his eyes locked on screen as friday was running it’s test on the dart . 

“ jessie , he was like her only he knows he’s adopted just not all of it ,  but her dad he said he was the same as her , it’s not what it looks like he’s not hydra not fully he’s a double agent  look it hard to explain either he or fury can explain the dynamics but we’re going to have to run some test make sure he doesn’t burst into flames” bucky explained placing her on the cot .

“ or shooting vines … oh yeah she does that too  so i guess we’re going to have to see what else our girl body is hiding from her and us “ tony said as their heads shot in his direction . 

“ why couldn’t she be just be the normal one , healthy family life but nope it’s like become an avenger and the trauma follows “ nat mumbled checking over her once more ignoring bucky. “ oh give it over “ she pushed him away .

“ stop fighting over me it gonna give me big ego like stark” she groaned 

“ hey Look she ok “ tony rolled his eyes . 

“ other than my life was a lie and my brother could be whatever i am what is going on and who is after me  “ she sat up as nat and Bucky helped her .

“ well hydra is after You , you brother well who might be your brother is from same lab rest i don't know fury kept his lips tight on this one and well  seems as they want you back” tony explained .  

“ that is just magical no seriously this fan fucking tastic” she scoffed. 

“ maybe let your dad explain “ nat smiled sadly .

 “ i will, you wanna Test My blood right ?” She looked to to tony who nodded . “ well lets do this first “ she pulled her sleeve up  looking down at her  arms  remembering what it was that came from them . 

“ how did you get your abilities how did they start” tony asked pulling the kit out from . 

“ you Dont have to tell him doll” bucky squeezed her should he could feel her tense , could hear the breath that got  caught In her throat . 

“ no its fine erm my cousin , terror twins we call them well they told me jessie was hurt climbing Into a water tower, they said It was accident but they pushed me in and  i thought i was going to drowned … no one was going to find me  then it came Like i just felt this feeling like building and building i thought  It … It was me dying  then boom fire to point all the water turned into steam that steam well   Actually did nearly kill me no oxygen And  i was in a coma for like a month , they laughed when i cried now everytime I see their stupid faces i remember like im trapped in that water tower “ she sniffled . “ nat and fury only people after family to know that well tony And steve cause a file that wasn't suppose to exist “ she laughed dryly Wiping  tears from her eyes . 

“ kitty” she turned To see her Dad and maybe he didn't expect it but she ran into his arms . She could see it , see that guilt and yet That Unconditional love in his Eyes . 

“ papa you need to tell me the truth The whole truth please”  she looked up at him and suddenly it was like looking down at the little girl he put to bed so many times after nightmares  or scared of monsters under the bed .

“ best sit down , please know this before i tell you this kitty none of it was fake for me  not one second did i think of you any different then my daughter” he smiled sadly . 

“ maybe we should give them space to do this “ nat winced , she knew  , steve knew and bucky knew . 

“ but i wanna … fine” tony pouted following the widow out while bucky squeezed her shoulders . 

“ i was in the military that part was true and i was good  , so good i caught the attention of shield who wanted me to work for them  , it was no brainer  whether to take the job or not really it was probably one of quickest yes  i said in my life first  they told me a baby was found little boy taking out of lab would we care for him and we said yes actually your mother said it  we got jessie then a few years later actually jessie was eight and the twin well were 6 and then nick fury came to me a mission so classified that not even the director alexander pierce knew it was going down , he said they found a lab pierce didn’t wanna bother with it but fury well couldn’t let it go so i went undercover pretended i wanted to be hydra said it was the future shit like that , they believed me  i’d send in the intel to fury and work in some lab one night they got this woman i and she had most beautiful baby girl i ever seen  , the lady fought she said she couldn’t do it again but they killed her so i called fury the raid happened and he slipped me out the back told me take this baby and not to stop for anyone he would come when he could so i did i brought you home and your mama she fell in love with you i went back and we told pierce everything and left out the part of you fury burned the place down so they would think you went with it  we got promoted i stayed for couple of years then i retired said i would help with the kids and ranch wanted to watch you grow up and that wasn’t a lie” he looked at her she could see it all in his eyes  . 

“ why didn’t you tell me , why didn’t fury tell me  was that how he found me in new york? “ she asked . 

“ i called him new places and that gift of your never did work so i asked him make sure you weren’t locked in a lab somewhere like .. “ 

“ E.T” She chuckled. 

“ jessie mom i don’t know if you both got same mama , she was pretty like you “ he held her face. 

“ then how come they won’t accept me ? they accepted jessie ? “ she asked softly . 

“ because your grandfather left everything in your name and their vultures …. Thanks  young man “ she turned to see tony letting her grandmother in . 

“ i like her … shit sorry i leave you too it … touching stuff really sorry for doubting you “ tony waved as he left . 

“ stop listening you over grown toddler” she yelled. 

“ couldn’t hear you “ his voice rang out over intercom of the jet . 

“ this is weird airplane” her grandmother looked around . 

“ ok back to it  the old guy left everything to her “ 

“ TONY “ 

“ Fine i’ll stop listening “ not that she believed that. 

“ yes as voice said he left it to you  most of it all is a bit of exaggeration some for jess and the twin not the horrible ones   cause you guys cared even still you write me every week telling me of your stories although i don’t like the gods part there’s only one of him “ she sat down . 

“ maybe wait before bring loki and thor here?” she whispered to her dad who nodded in agreement. 

 “ that’s why they pushed me in that water tower” she gasped . 

“ they heard  your grandpa talking with his lawyer “ her dad confirmed . 

“ you know no matter what they say your our kitty right? “ her grandmother asked . 

“ i do i’m sorry i ran off earlier  i mean it’s a lot still in tbh “ she winced . 

“ good now go say sorry your poor mother is beside herself in there “ her grandmother swatted her arm sending her to her feet  and kept swatting as she walked out the door to the house . 

“ hey stop .. can’t get around my ass  OWWW … sorry ma’am “ she yelped after the woman pinched her arm . “ stop laughing stank” she grumbled . 

She walked into the kitchen and seen her mama sitting and she felt instant guilt yes they did keep a lot from her  and yeah she was still right to feel  betrayed but giving the other outcome she did really have a great childhood and they didn’t treat her differently even with her gift they still treated her with same love and care  probably more so .

“ mama “ she smiled as the woman looked up rushing toward her honestly kitty was surprise how she still had tears left .

“ i’m sorry really baby we just wanted to keep you safe” she cried . 

“ i know now , i’m sorry for scaring you … also think your moms more lively then she letting on “ she whispered last part . 

“ hey pyro on the prairie your gonna wanna here this “ tony called . 

“ jesus what now is my birth parent actually aliens “ she scoffed  as she , izzy and her mom walked in just as jack and jessie walked in carrying cassies things . 

“ hey good timing this concerns you to  … bruce let them have it ?” tony called. 

“ hey kiddo you ok “ bruce voice came out the phone . 

“ i mean as well as i can come on lay it on me are me and jessie ET” she sighed . 

“ actually no  your from earth but hey wouldn’t be surprising giving it all really ..” 

“ today big little guy “ tony huffed. 

“ well you and jessie are sibling  you share the same dad , his mom died giving birth  and well your actually related to another member of the team “ bruce explained . 

“ please don’t say it bucky .. i mean i may be from south but not that far down south “ she grimaced . 

“ no it’s not bucky or steve actually it’s nat it would appear you two share same mother “ . 

“ holy shit i had dirty dreams about my little sisters sister “ jack blurted out .

“ please say i’m adopted too “ izzy face scrunched up in disgust as she stood away from her twin . 

“ your birth father well he was also part of nats life” bruce  went more quietly . 

“ shit bruce are you my dad” she gasped. 

“ do i look old enough to be your…. Nevermind actually turns out alexei shostakov is who your birth father “ bruce called . 

“ i did not see that coming “ nat mouth fell open 

“ wait the dude that pretended to be your dad then … you have got to be shitting me really?  Can we not pretend it was an alien “ she whined. 

“ sorry kiddo we’ll see you guys soon “ he hung up . 

“ what do he mean see you soon” she turned to tony. “ who’s we “ . 

“ the team hey your one of us mean priority is to stop whoever’s after you “ tony shrugged. 

“ i knew we had a sisterly bond” nat smirked . 

“ so my dad is guy that sold you?” jessie finally spoke up as nat nodded .” what the shit “ he sighed . 

“ i know right but you got two adoptive sister lets hope you didn’t have dirty thoughts about nat too “ she winced. 

“ nah i like that wanda chick we ain’t related to her in anyway are we?” he asked. 

“ ok moving on from that how the hell is alexei my dad?” she asked  . 

“ i’ll see if yelena can find out” nat pulled out her phone . “ hey lena we got more siblings “ she called walking out the room . 

 “ really no sign of being et “ she asked . 

“ sorry kitty cat “ tony patted her shoulder .  

Honestly she couldn’t believe one simple trip home well would result in all of this , nat being her sister  and the widows host/adoptive dad being her birth father and her being a lab experiment for hydra just tied it all in a neat bow serious how she wasn’t in a padded room albeit there was still time for that . she also had the team coming to the ranch in matter of hours and now she was hiding in her room trying to make sense of it all . 

“ come in “ she called as the knock on her door snapped her from her thoughts 

“ just wanted to check see you were ok “ bucky poke his head in .

“  i’m ok i think it still doesn’t feel real like this is so crazy all in a day i find out i’m adopted , nats my sister  so is yelena in a way which also mean i’m not even american right?  Oh god  what is my life” she fell on her bed staring at the ceiling. 

“ an your not an alien “ he pointed out . 

“ i was kinda hoping for that” she sighed . 

“ well turned out alexei volunteered for some red room / hydra thing back in the day before they severed ties  now he’s gushing about how his boy and his girls are well you know ” . 

“ yeah i think jessie would actually shoot him “ she laughed . 

“ he does want to meet you but nat told him that was up to you and to give you time  but yelena is on her way “ he said. “ she heard someone attacked and well “ 

“ she is very all for family “ she nodded. 

“ yeah jacks currently have a identity crisis asking is nat his sister too “  he lay beside her. 

“ bet you didn’t think this was going to happen when you agree to be my fake boyfriend “ she snorted honestly it had to be a joke right . 

“ i was thinking alien too cause doll you are out of this world “ he smirked as she broke out into laughter. 

“ oh my god you did not just say that  and steve said you were a ladies man sure you weren’t the dork back then “ .

“ you doubting my skills “ he sat up leaning over her . 

“ yes after that yess” she laughed alittle and yet she leaned up . 

They were mere inches apart before a banging on the door . 

“ hey teams here” nat yelled as bucky fell back . 

“ COME ON “ she yelled so close and yet so far . 

“ we could pretend to be asleep “ bucky groaned getting off the floor . 

“ nah nats waiting” she huffed. 

“ she’s right i am come onnn” nat sang . 

“ to be continued “ she winked before heading out the door .  

“ thanks natalia “ bucky groaned as the widow snorted . 

“ sorry barnes maybe  you can woo my little sister… so fun to say “ she smirked .

part 7

taglist : @vicmc624 @babble28 @scott-loki-barnes @ozwriterchick

[i-am-ir0n-maiden]

It's Not What It Looks Like

for @msdjsg7

Welcome to Chapter 2 of my first fic, first Loki fic, and first char x reader fic, Taking Chances! You can find Chapter One here.

Warnings/tags: a little bit of strong language (shut it, Steve), good!Loki, fluff, soft!Loki, Avenger!Loki, you and Loki are friends (maybe eventually more, oops that could be a spoiler), Loki's in a stabby mood for about half a scene

No age limits

Fandom: MCU movie Loki

You blinked awake slowly after the best sleep you'd had in weeks to find yourself in a bed not your own. Too much green.

Then you noticed that you were in someone's arms.

Loki's?!

You shifted a bit, embarrassed, trying to remember how you got here. Oh, right... in your exhaustion-hazed brain last night, you thought getting your Jotunn best friend to cuddle you to cool you down in place of the air conditioning was a good idea. Yeah. That's right.

Loki stirred a bit and woke up at your movements, that malicious smirk creeping onto his face as he looked down at you. He didn't need to say anything - his face said more than words could. He thought this was funny.

You glared at him. "Shut up," you growled as you shifted away, trying to put some distance between you two. Anything to make this less awkward, oh Norns why did I ever think this was a good idea, I need to get away from him I don't like the butterfly feeling I'm getting right now because it's starting to transition to turning me on...

He actually smiled at you. "I haven't said a word, darling." He paused for effect. "You, on the other hand, were... rather demanding last night." The smile became his trademark smirk once more. "It's not often a woman forces herself into my bed and orders me to hold her."

Your glare intensified as you pulled away, out of his grasp, and slipped out of the bed entirely.

You didn't expect long, cool fingers to wrap around your wrist and keep you from taking another step.

Loki had moved faster than you'd ever seen any being move before to grab your wrist and prevent you from leaving.

You froze for a second, barely able to believe your ears at what he said next. "Did I tell you that you had to leave?"

You finally snapped out of your holy-shit-is-this-really-happening trance, not making any more moves to leave, as you said "I should... It's dawn."

"I see that. What I do not see is how the sunrise has any bearing on your staying with me or leaving. It's quite rare that anyone chooses to be near me." He attempted to pull you back.

You sighed, but let him pull you off-balance so you landed back beside him. "If the others see me sneaking out of your room, they might, well... get ideas." You said as you settled back in beside him.

He chuckled softly at that. "Mm. Perhaps we shouldn't allow that."

"Then why do you want me to stay?"

"Simply because I desire your company, is that a problem for you?"

It was once again your turn to be shocked. "N-no. It's not. But you only get five more minutes."

He pulled you close enough to put his arms back around you. "I shall not keep you a second longer than you wish."

You two laid there a few more moments, simply existing together and listening to the sound of one another's breathing. When the five minutes were up, you reluctantly slipped out of Loki's grasp, eliciting a small, sad whine from him. "Already?"

"Yeah, Lokes. I really need to leave now." You said softly as you headed for the door. "See you at breakfast?"

"Won't miss it, since you asked me." His reply was barely audible through the blankets he'd burrowed back into.

What the fuck was that all about? You thought as you headed back to your own room for a shower.

________________________________

When you walked into the kitchen after sneaking back to your room to get ready, Natasha grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side without even giving you a chance to say a word. "So. You and the iceman, huh?" She whispered, looking at you with a conniving smirk.

"Wh- what are you talking about?" You said, trying to feign innocence despite the blush creeping onto your face.

"You went past my room last night and this morning."

"So?"

"Loki's is the last. Mine's next to his."

"It- it's not what it looks like, Nat, I swear..." You managed to say, looking away from her piercing gaze.

"Sure. We've all seen the looks you two give each other, haven't we, Clint?" She called over her shoulder to her partner in crime.

Clint, in the middle of shoving waffles into his mouth, glanced up and said something unintelligible due to his mouth being full.

"See? He agrees." Natasha locked that intense stare she uses during interrogations onto you, daring you to lie again.

"Oh my Gooood..." you moaned in exasperation, rolling your eyes while you frantically formulated a lie.

"Yes?" The smooth voice beside you shocked you, and you glanced over to see Loki smirking at you. "You called?"

"You're not helping, Loki!" You shot him a glare. "Tell Nat why I was in your room last night." You attempted to communicate with your eyes that he needed to lie to her to un-incriminate you both. Tell her anything but the fact that I demanded you cuddle me.

His eyes lit up for a split second - you could practically see what he was thinking. 'This is going to be fun.'

"Well, Miss Romanoff, she walked into my room, forced herself into my bed and demanded that I hold her because it was "too hot everywhere but with me."" He put little air quotes around the last six words - he must have picked that up from Thor.

"God damn it, Loki, why -" your protest was cut off by Natasha's "HA! I KNEW IT!" She triumphantly high-fived Clint and you noticed her surrepititiously being handed money by Sam, Steve, and even Bruce. Thor looked pleased.

She turned back to you with a satisfied look on her face. "JARVIS, you can fix our changes now."

"With pleasure, Miss Romanoff." the AI replied, sounding almost... teasing?

"You see, we've all seen the looks you and Reindeer Games here give each other. So lady triple imposter and her birdbrain decided to do something about it. We actually were all in on it." Tony added from the coffee machine.

"I had JARVIS crank up the temp in your room, the hall, and a little bit in Loki's." Clint said around his fork.

"I obeyed, but made certain that your thermostats showed no change." JARVIS added from the ceiling.

"I went along with their grand scheme and made it believable, didn't think it'd work though." Tony chipped in again from behind his coffee mug.

"I orchestrated all this because you two clearly are all heart eyes for each other." Natasha said, looking satisfied.

"And we bet them it wouldn't work." Bruce, Sam and Steve added sadly.

Thor now looked confused. "I.. was told to ignore everyone else and keep quiet."

You and Loki exchanged identical infuriated glances and took a simultaneous step forward, reaching for your favorite weapons - Loki conjuring a dagger out of thin air, you drawing the one he gave you from its sheath on your hip. "Lot of planning just for it to backfire on them, huh?" you said as you and Loki advanced on the others. "Mm." Loki agreed.

"See? You even reacted the same!" an unfazed Natasha managed to say through her laughter.

Sam's eyes got big and he stood up, tugging Steve and Bruce, who was getting nervous and looking a little green veined, with him. "Thor, should we run?" he asked, already heading for the door.

"I advise it. My brother rather enjoys stabbing people who get on his bad side." Thor replied.

"Relax, Dr. Green Bean. Don't go smashing the place." you said as you passed Bruce being tugged along by Sam. "We won't touch you three."

Loki paused and touched your wrist with his free hand. You glanced at him.

"Perhaps we should give them what they wish?" he whispered just loud enough for the others to hear.

"How... do you propose to do that?" you replied, confused.

His free arm slipped around your waist. "Is this okay?" He looked pleased with himself.

Why not, you thought, and said as much as you leaned into him.

"We've changed our minds." Loki said as he lowered the dagger in his hand and you sheathed yours. "However, conspire against me again and you will see why I am called the god of mischief." He, without warning, threw his dagger, embedding it in the wall a few inches from Nat's head.

"HEY! You WILL be fixing that, and by hand, not with magic!" Tony complained at the hole in the wall that appeared when Loki made the dagger disappear, and reappear back in its place in his room.

Loki pulled you a bit closer and led you along with him as he stepped around Tony and towards the cabinets to find something to eat. As you moved beside him, one thought ran through your mind.

What the fuck is happening between us.

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

[omgwhatchloe]

many many things annoy me about homophobic rdr2 fanboys, and heres one of them:

you absolutely CANNOT ship arthur and charles (just two men, one of which was designed to be a romantical option for the other that never made it into the final cut, both of legal and morally right age, who have a much different, closer bond than other gang members, no toxicity around their relationship in the slighest, even a few actors from the game have said they like the ship) because what the fuck is wrong with you why would you EVER ship them?! and NO YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT SHIP HOSEA AND DUTCH (they have their own nicknames for each other, care for each other very very deeply, have been running together for years and years, held hands, described themselves as two dads with their own son) THEYRE JUST FRIENDS THATS DISGUSTING

oh but yeah, you can ship sadie and arthur (sadie is a grieving widow who clearly only shows attraction/admiration towards her late husband, sees him as the best man shes ever known, would never replace him and is overrun by her urge to avenge him) and you can also ship arthur and mary-beth (mary-beth is at least 10-15 years younger than him, the ship is morally wrong, he is protective over her like a little sister just like the other girls) and yeah you can ship molly and dutch too (molly is being emotionally abused by dutch, dutch actively flirts with others while neglecting her, drove her to extreme depression to the point she was suicidal and constantly felt trapped and isolated) BECUZ STRAIGHT IS GREAT GUYS!!!!! THEYRE NOT GAY GUYS EVEN THOUGH IT WAS VERY COMMON FOR OUTLAWS TO LOVE EACH OTHER NO MATTER THE GENDER BUT THAT JUST DIDNT EXIST IN THE GAME OKAY!!!!!

[rei-ismyname]

Ororo, how did you get here?

I wonder if we'll get a solid, in character explanation for why Storm would become a cop (Avenger) again. I'm writing an analysis on From The Ashes (so far) and while I'm clear-eyed about where most characters and books are at, I really need to know if they're even going to bother explaining why Storm would leave Arakko (oh yeah, there's still a million mutants on the red planet) and if they do to what degree. Sure she can just bail off screen but it'd be deeply out of character. She's a member of the Great Ring (or at least she was, occupying Magneto's empty Seat of Loss after she yielded the Regency to Lodus Logos.) She's the most impactful political and cultural figure in a generation. She was the leader of the winning faction in the Genesis War. She had a lover, who was caring for two orphans. I think they were living together. She was happy. I can't recall any ties to Atlanta, but it doesn't really matter. Without serious explanation she's going to look fickle, like she's shirking her duty. A duty she chose, too. Fought multiple wars over. She's getting a solo book, there's totally room to do it properly.

The other big ting for me is Magneto. The First Krakoan age put him through the ringer - his character arc was objectively given the most attention and subjectively the most satisfying. Even without Uncanny X-Men #700 he was poised to shake up the status quo but when you include his chat with Charles that's a promise. A promise that needs to be paid off. Not just any old promise either - it's an ideological breakthrough five decades in the making! He's been kept in the background so far and I haven't really been able to judge whether that promise is being kept or not. I hope so but my expectations are low. It would be such tonal whiplash I can't even think of an analogy.

Interestingly both Max and Ororo were Of Arakko last time we got a close look. Magneto died defending Arakko, he has friends there. He is literally one of the society's heroes for slaying Tarn the Uncaring and The Hour Of Magneto/Judgement Day.

Yeah, that's right. *AIR HORN* *PUMPS FIST* He cares about the Arakki and they care about him. He'd want to pay his respects to the Fisher King and generally see how it's going. He lost his place on the Great Ring when he died and Vulcan blew up his house, but neither are especially important. Both planet and culture are dear to him. After X of Swords, in that brief period when the Arakki were on Earth, it was Magneto meeting with Isca about teething problems. 'Twas Magneto who spearheaded the Terraforming Operation, handling the communication/logistics and harvesting enough iron to bring the planet to life from the Khyber Belt. While he was doing that, Ororo was fighting Nameless to the death for the Noontide Seat.

I could honestly go on, but my point is these two especially are invested. (Roberto Da Costa too, but it seems the New Mutants are represented by Magik alone and Cypher looking like an idiot.) If that continuity is disregarded I'm going to have a problem with it. Honestly, if Arakko is there and not being used in any stories I'll be scratching my head. How do you go from terraforming planets to hated and feared on Earth as anything other than a regression? The geopolitical implications of it being there pretty much break the world they're selling us. They're telling us it's so dangerous for mutants that they're developing secret hand signals and Underground Railroad'ing. At least some mutants would move to fucking Mars. All countries would be at Defcon 1. Did the entire galactic council just forget Sol exists?

I'll stop there, save some for the actual essay instead of the rant lol. If you're enjoying it I couldn't be happier for you. I am struggling to, though, and I'm very wary of heartbreak. Maybe that's on me for how I manage my expectations. We shall see.

[js589]

So, my husband and I just finished The Dragon Prince, and...

We're mad.

(There is a lot I love about TDP, and about season 7, but it gets very little mention here. You have been forewarned.)

Like, this final season was just coming at us with everything it had for most of the first 8 episodes. Sure, there were filler-y bits every now and again, but there was a pretty good buildup. Episode 8 especially was just like oh wow, we're going here. (As much as Karim just never learning was frustrating, it made his fate very fitting. I was both horrified and impressed.)

But it seemed like the final episode, rather than serving as a fitting ending if there isn't further media, reminded us of all the plot threads that are still dangling, some from much earlier seasons!

The whole show had moments of "okay, this was an unnecessary bit" and "okay, when are we going to get back to this thing that seems to be really important?" but Mysteries of Aaravos was definitely much worse about it. The baitlings/glowtads, for example, probably should have been relegated to side materials.

And Harrow-bird... I have multiple misgivings. First of all, it should have been much clearer earlier on if this was indeed going to be A Thing. There's no way it resolves quickly, but it could have been spaced out through the seasons. And the unseriousness of the reveal really felt like it cheapened the emotional impact of Ezran deciding to forgive Runaan even though he doesn't know how to yet. That could have been an amazing exploration, and instead, it's moot because Harrow arguably hasn't actually died. Like, Callum could bring him back. Easily.

And while this is a show aimed at children, Ezran not actually using the nova blade after it got hyped for so long felt kind of like a pale imitation of AtLA, but Ezran's peaceful ideals never actually got confronted the way Aang's did. In TDP, Callum had to face up to his inner darkness multiple times, but God forbid Ezran not get saved from actually doing anything remotely controversial. I mean, Avizandum and Zubeia's sacrifice works, IMO, but it just feels like anytime Ezran has to confront big, scary things, it turns out he didn't need to and it's actually all kind of okay somehow.

But above all, the arc title is now too fitting. A lot of those mysteries of Aaravos are still mysteries, and they didn't need to be! If this is the Aaravos arc, then it should have had an actual resolution and not a "we'll circle back in 7 years" ending. Like, they'd better put it together and just keep Aaravos from coming back in that case. Seriously, Aaravos gave humans dark magic. Why did the Startouch council not intervene the way they did with Leola? Why did they not intervene when he returned? If he'd done something to incapacitate them, you'd think he'd have said so, but he appears to not have exacted revenge yet. Other questions: does the book that uses the key still exist? Is the key actually important? Can Callum use it to forge connections? Is (as my husband jokingly theorized) dark magic just star magic with a different source?

What about Claudia? I'm left wondering why she still serves Aaravos. I'm assuming it's because she understands his desire to avenge Leola and she doesn't care about who else gets harmed along the way, but I feel like that doesn't really square with her characterization? I dunno...

Finally, as much as I love Rayllum... yeah, it got a little too much focus. Not as much undue focus as other elements, but it was definitely overdone. (But I did actually appreciate Rayla readying to kill Callum. Like, dude's got plot armor up the wazoo, but she doesn't know that.)

Overall, I'm just really dissatisfied with all that's left open. Mysteries of Aaravos had massive pacing issues. I believe that the story could have been told in its entirety, and I wish it would have been.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda Under Cut

Allura

Lots of people (myself included tbh) ship klance (Keith and Lance). In s8 the creators made Allura/Lance canon (but then they killed her off and left the ending ambiguous it was weird). Anyway the fandom treats her like she's the most terrible bitchy woman ever but all she wants to do is end the war and avenge her destroyed home planet. Yeah she wasn't always the nicest or always the best, but you could argue some other characters in the show aren't either and they aren't treated near as bad as allura. people really just hate her bc Lance liked her. I don't think allura/lance are good together, but I still liked her as a character and thought she was interesting and had a lot of growth during the show. she DEF is not evil like some people portray her as in fic or talk about her in captions on posts. I've seen people say that they HATE her and that she's the worst and I'm like ??? let her live (well sort of ig she is dead now). lots of fic writers use her as the villain which is so interesting to me bc the show literally has villains like use them. anyway allura so perfectly fits the bracket description she deserves better.

I hate to acknowledge my time in this fandom but I hate the way the fandom treated her more. Allura was treated like shit no matter what side of the Great Ship War you were on because she was always a threat to the biggest ships (klance and sheith). At best she got put into Background Lesbian or Consolation Prize Shallura (Space Mom-zoned) (She was not a motherly figure btw. She was just Black). At worst she was violently demonized for being ~racist~ (kinda not cool with the alien race that blew up her planet for a few episodes), complete with misogynistic language hurled at her (she got called a bitch sooo much). Allura was a good and cool character and the show did her dirty but the fandom was somehow worse.

i apologise for speaking the dark magicks, but amidst the voltron fandoms many, many transgressions, there were a particular subset of people who just hated this girl. the infamous klance wars of the 2010s kept this perfectly fine childrens cartoon character in the sights of shippers everywhere, and she (and her voice actress im sure) were subjected to years of petty squabble blown up to global perportions. ive seen hate, ive seen rants, ive seen fanfics that made her homophobic. girls been through the ringer, and even though voltron was never the show its fandom wanted it to be, i believe allura deserved better

Mary Morstan

a controversial one i know, but it’s tumblr. how could i not? anyway shoutout to the writers for CANONICALLY killing her off for the non-canon ship. she was so cool honestly poor girl

Oh god where do I start? Constantly being turned abusive? Killed off (in canon!)? Constantly being removed from fic? I cannot stand the way she's treated, but it's 100% impossible to find Johnlock fic without the "umsympathetic Mary Morstan" angle. It's infuriating!

The fandom insulted Mary at every conceivable turn, refused to acknowledge her narrative importance or impact on the other characters, called for her death repeatedly, and even SENT DEATH THREATS TO HER ACTRESS because she had the AUDACITY to be a morally gray female character who was married to John (they did not care about the moral grayness of the male characters, but she was irredeemable, apparently-presumably because she was a "threat" to the main fandom ship). And though she was definitely sacrificed on a SPECIFIC mlm ship altar, she was still tangentially victimized by OTHER mlm ships too! For example, this fandom was willing to make up a character WHO LITERALLY DID NOT ACTUALLY EXIST to ship with different male character (who was morally...way worse than she ever was), as well as create swathes of content about two men who had maybe one canon interaction in the whole show, before even thinking about the possibility of making content for this character or even just talking about her in a way that wasn't overtly misogynistic and degrading. When Mary died in-story (in what, in my opinion, was an unnecessary, bullshit way), her death was, to this fanbase, not actually about her and was just seen as "proof" that the two male leads would now get together (they didn't). And this STILL continues to this day. People reduce her to "selfish bitch," completely ignoring any of her complexity by claiming that she's incapable of caring about anyone (despite helping to save lives on more than one occasion, as well as dying in an act of sacrifice) and insisting that any of her positive qualities MUST be completely fabricated. I've seen a lot of female characters get mistreated by fandom for a mlm ship's sake, but I don't think I've EVER encountered an example as bad as this one.

[heartilywrites]

♡ — Leaving tonight ; H. Callahan

cw: angst, but like, a bunch of that ; avengers: endgame strong references ; avengers: infinity war final battle reference just at the beginning ; spider!hazel; black widow!reader ; mention of death

word count: 2.8k

a/n: love me some angst, this is my post ~celebrating~ endgame happening canonically now, i just happen to remember we made spider!hazel a thing and i needed to write her in the mcu timeline. . . i made peter exist at the same time as haze because,,, why not? i think they would be best friends idk. anyways, hope you enjoy!

“ 𝓐ll alone, all we know, is haunting me. . . Making it harder to breathe. ”

⠀⠀Ever had that feeling that something is about to end very very bad? Great! That was the exact feeling everyone at the battlefield had, even the most optimistic person could be doubting about the conclusion of that fight. Yeah, you were winning against the army, but that gut wrenching feeling that it may all be in vain was there, haunting you.

You fought with everything in your system, but there wasn't really much to do as a Widow besides helping to stop the alien army and hope for the more powerful avengers to stop everything from the source: Thanos. . . And then you saw wakandians disappear in dust, your heart dropped to the ground when you realized what that meant and your feet were quick to run looking for Natasha.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Please, please, please.” you begged while your eyes began to accumulate tears.

You heard your name being shouted and were fast to recognize Natasha's silhouette running to you too. An almost crushing hug was what you received, after making sure neither of you were about to disappear you look to the scene next to you. 'Oh god' the captain's voice whispered in disbelief. You lost.

And that was just the beginning, once you arrived back from Wakanda you were fast to look for your friends only to find that Brittany was the only from your group still around, both of you cried as soon as you saw each other and hugged.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Where's Hazel?” her voice asked, “I know she ran out the campus with you, didn't she?” your eyes widened.

Hazel. She and this other spider–dude went to fucking space as a stowaways when you clearly heard on the earpiece Tony's voice telling them to stay on New York, obviously neither of them listened even after your own scold while helping on the ground as much as you could.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'll be back, darling, I promise!” her voice in a robotic sound told you before losing signal with her.

You didn't know if she was alive anymore, but after the first couple weeks, you were beginning to accept the idea that she did dust away along with the other kid, Tony and the wizard dude. And you started to grief.

At least you were until one night in the compound an earthquake caught everyone's attention on a possible attack, curious your feet took you out of the building and in your visual field a spaceship appeared with a glowing woman directing it to the ground.

You were far behind from everyone, squinting your eyes to see a bit better your jaw almost fell to the floor to the sight of Tony coming down the stairs with a blue woman and. . . Wait.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hazel!” an exclamation came from you now running to help the girl, once again crying, but those were tears of relief. She hugged you tight as much as she could. “I thought I lost you.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I thought I lost you.” she repeated back on a sob, once you pushed away you saw how bad she looked. “Oh my god, Steve shaved?”

At that question, you turned your face to the captain who was talking with Tony and frowned. “I guess. . .” once again, your eyes were back at her and a sniff was heard from both of you. “Fucking idiot, I'm confiscating your web–shooters everytime we see a spaceship.”

After laughing at your comment, she gave you a weak kiss, leaning on you after a bit and you guided her steps to the building.

They did a little meeting to get the ones on space to date, your teeth were biting your bottom lip trying not to cry at the pictures of those you called your friends that weren't around anymore.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We lost Peter.” Hazel whispered while watching the argument the two grown men had. She, just as Tony, were connected to an IV and you were on her other side holding her hand. “We lost everyone, we–.”

You calmly shushed her, your thumb was leaving caresses on her hand. “We did what we could.” you smiled weakly. “And we're going to do everything to get them back.”

And you were one to keep a promise.

The next thing the group did was trying to find Thanos, but you didn't had the right mind to go with them. You wanted to stay with Hazel and take care of her, so that's what you did; stay. You hugged Natasha while wishing them good luck, telling them to 'get that bitch's ass' as she laughed and assure you they were going to bring everyone back. . .

But then, 5 years went by.

As soon as they got back, everyone took their own way. Defeated, neither of you needed to ask what had happened, because their faces said it all.

Once Hazel got better, both of you decided to move on, try to have a normal life. Kept studying at collage with Brittany, the three of you grew closer together. Deep down you knew things really won't be back as they were, missing Josie, Isabel and PJ became something constant like breathing; the first two years you usually went to the compound to train with Nat, but after that you started to drift away from the avengers to continue with your life, she didn't stopped you at that.

Sure, you did missions once in a while, but it wasn't as much as you did before the events. Your relationship with Hazel got serious and one night, she proposed to you. Obviously you said yes, you wanted to be with her for the rest of your life if it was possible, she had been your rock all those years in work, such as you were hers and it finally felt as the universe was trying to let you two rest at least a little bit.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We need you two, kid.” Rogers' voice was heard after his speech and a bit of silence, you were serving the dinner, passing a plate to him and one to your now fiancé, both of them smiled. “We need as many hands as possible.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I. . . I don't know, Mr. America.” Hazel was the first one to speak, you took your seat across from her.‍ “Our graduation is near, we're planning a wedding as well.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's our second chance, girls.” he said, his eyes moved from Hazel to you.‍ “Congrats on the wedding, by the way, but this is our only chance to get everyone back.”

Your eyes darted back to Hazel as she did the same.

Maybe you'll get your friends back, maybe they'll be here for the celebration. What else could you lose? It was something easy, he said, risky, but easy enough. Travel in time to the stones, take them to use them, bring everyone back and take them back as if they never left their timelines. Piece of cake, right?

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Are you sure you want to do this?” Hazel asked you while saving both your and her suit in a bag.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Are you?” You shot back, raising a brow her way. You sighed and walk to her side of the bed.‍ ‍ “Haze, we can get them back. Have Josie, Isabel and PJ on our day, don't you want that?” Her eyes looked down to the bag.‍ “Didn't you say you wanted to have them as best women?”

She laughed and nodded slowly.‍ “Fine, but we're only helping with the stones, yeah? Once that's done we come back home, we still need to choose between daisies or jasmines.”

You nodded with a funny smile and gave her a tiny kiss.

Once in the compound it was explain how everything would go down, where the stones have been seen and who had them at that time. It took no more than two days to get the information in order and everyone did teams; yours was the one going to Vormir and Morag, the soul and power stones.

A pretty good speech, a couple of words exchanged and a promise to come back was said by everyone before everyone started to travel.

Arriving to Morag was quite the experience, you've never been to space so looking around was almost inevitable.

A scream was heard from Hazel before kicking. . . Something similar to a rat, you laughed while taking away the white suit, underneath that it was your well–known black suit, your fiancé had her classic one without the mask.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Are we ready?” You said looking at your teammates, they nodded.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Good to go, kiddo.” Now it was your turn to nod. A small hug was received by the older man for the both of you. “Get the stone and comeback, no messing around, okay?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yes, dad.” Hazel said jokingly, after a bit she took your hand and started to walk towards the ship.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Take care of each other!” he exclaimed, you gave him a military salute followed by an 'aye aye, captain', the doors closed.

You both looked around the ship while walking to the pilot and co–pilot seat, once buckled up, the ship itself began the trip.

Your hand was holding tight to the seat, both laughing at the speed and colors, truly an experience worth living.

When arriving to Vormir, both of you looked shocked at such landscape. Nothing like we had on earth, you thought.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Let's go, m'lady.” Hazel called for you, offering her hand, you took it with a smile. “Let's get this stone and go back home.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Easy work, we should've choose New York for a bit of a complicated level.” you said while walking.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “And miss the opportunity to come to space? Nuh–uh, maybe we should've changed planets with them.” she responded back. “This planet is way too dark, feels sad.”

A laugh fell from you mouth. Now infront of the big mountain in there, Hazel got the both of you up with webs, knowing it would take more time if you climbed the mountain.

Once at the top, you took your gun out for precaution and both sets of eyes inspected every corner they saw.

You heard a voice say your name and your father's name, at least you figured that was him since after the same voice pronounced Hazel and her father's name as a welcome later on, such jumpscare made you both be on guard ready to attack. Then you saw a. . . A man? with red face, floating. “Consider me a guide to you and all of those who seek the soul stone.”

You exchanged looks with Hazel before putting down the weapon, your fiancé never let down her guard. “Yeah? How do we get it then?” she asked, still a bit scared.

The entity floated in the middle of the two, you followed him to almost the edge. “What you seek lies in front of you,” he said while both heroes walked to see down. “In order to take the stone you must lose that what you love, an everlasting exchange.” you could feel how your heart dropped, turning back to see Hazel. “A soul for a soul.”

You walked a bit back to think about what was just said, sitting down on a rock in silence. “There has to be another way,” Hazel said after a couple of minutes in silence. “Or maybe he was joking.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I don't really think so,” you responded blinking a couple of times. “Think about it, Haze; Thanos came here with his daughter Gamora, got the stone and left without her, that has to mean something.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Maybe he lost her somewhere else, how do we know he isn't making shit up and the stone is somewhere else?” Hazel stood up from the rock, clearly stressed at the situation.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “He knows my father's name. . . I don’t even know it, I don’t think he'll be guessing if I knew him or not.” now you stood up and took her hands. “If we don't get that stone, billions of people will stay dead. . .”

She nodded sighing. “Whatever it takes, right?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Whatever it takes.” you responded with low voice. Cutting distance with her, your lips met in a sweet kiss; one filled with sadness too knowing what was about to come, regret at the thought of accepting the mission, but calm at the thought of saving people. Once you pulled away, a smile showed on your face. “I love you, Hazel, remember that, yeah?”

The girl blinked confused at your words. “Did we just thought of different endings?” she shook her head, taking your arms. “Honey, you have the wrong idea.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hazel, please, let me do this.” you almost cried, taking a step back. “I promised you that, didn't I? We're going to do everything to get them back and this is how. After everything I've done. . . This is my way to redeem all the pain I caused.”

She didn't answer, in your distraction she pinned you to the floor while shaking her head. “No, you'll tell the girls I love them.”

You were quick to change positions and stand up while pointing at her with your electric gun. “Tell them yourself, Haze.” your voice defended before shooting her, seeing how the shock did its work at keeping her down you started to make your way to the edge.

Hazel was fast enough to remove the shot from her and sit up, when trying to use her right web–shooter she realized you had covered it, but not the left one so she changed hands and shot you on the ankles making you fall. With a curse coming out of your mouth, your hands were fast to get the small knife from your belt and cut the webs as Hazel was about to reach the edge.

You ran as fast as you could just as she jumped, hugging her and shooting a gadget which you attached to her was in matter of seconds. The mutant was fast to take your wrist.

The gadget was short, and it was right on her hip so she couldn't reach you with her other hand if she wanted to.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Don't do this, please, don't do it.” she pleaded, your hand was open so if she tried to shoot another web at you with the left shooter, she'll drop you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's okay.” you smiled at her, with quick hand you took away her left shooter. “Let me go, it's okay, I promise.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I can't, I need you, please, don't do this.” Even with her sight blurry from the tears, Hazel was able to see how calm you were.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I love you.” your voice breathed out one last time.

Taking impulse from the rock, your feet pushed you as Hazel's grip slipped and let your wrist go.

A bloody gut wrenching scream came out of her mouth, feeling how throat hurt from said action, a lightning took her away while she called your name.

Next thing she knew, she was on a pond lying down. Sitting down, on her left hand she could feel the stone, Hazel opened her hand and tears began to stream down her cheeks at the look of the yellow infinity stone. What was she going to say know? How can she show her face back home without you by her side?

It took a couple of minutes for her to find any strength to stand up and get back to her time, but as soon as she arrived to the circle, she felt again on her knees. Completely numb, hearing the other voices muffled celebrating and asking her about you once her knees made noise.

Natasha's voice brought her back, Callahan looked up to her, tears falling from her eyes silently, she couldn't bring herself to tell her how her apprentice sacrificed herself for the stone.

So you could only imagine how she felt once the whole team won over Thanos again and brought her friends back, only for them to ask for you after hugging her and thanking for bringing them back.

Your funeral was alongside Tony's, but Hazel didn't cried, she just stood silent watching at her own ring on her hand, sitting on the stairs of the cabin.

Brittany was the one who sat next to her when she realized she wasn't inside with everyone else, they both were in complete silence.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You know. . .” she finally talked after hours of silence, hoarsely. “I just. . . I hope she knows that we did it. That we won.”

Brittany looked at her, compassionate at the way she was feeling. “She knows.” she said, passing one arm on her shoulders, Hazel leaned her head on her friend letting a couple of tears leave her eyes. “I'm sure she does.”

[thewritergremlin-rae]

Not Your Place

Pairing: Loki x Mutant!Fem!Reader Characters: Renslayer, Mobius, Classic!Loki, Alligator!Loki Rating: M Words: 1,848 Content: 2nd person, TVA, Post(ish)-Avengers: Infinity War, Suicidal Thoughts, Attempted Suicide (Non-graphic) Summary: In your grief, you saved the Universe from Thanos but, according to the TVA, that was not your role to play. Ao3: HERE

Notes: Obviously leading up to here didn't totally follow MCU - otherwise there would be no time for Reader and Loki to get together but it's not toooo important and might come up later? Haven't decided hahaha

I know being Norse the whole 'Laufeyson' is not really a family name and they don't have one - therefore there would've been no family name for Reader to take and honestly? Loki would probably take hers cos up until Infinity War - I can't imagine he's happy wih Laufeyson OR Odinson but we know the TVA has him down as Laufeyson.

I wanted to use it as the reveal - and also some kind of name was needed for Reader - and it works as an alias.

Aaaaand yet another Loki/Reader one-shot with basically no Loki - I'm so sorry!!!

Banners by cafekitsune

“…charged with sequence violation, 9-45-51. How do you plead?”

Your head spun with thoughts of the battle you’d left behind, the yelling, the fighting, the grief. All the dirt and grim still clung to you, showing the war you had been dragged from, yet your weapons had been taken and logged for evidence, your mutation somehow not working.

You felt numb.

“How do you plead?” The woman's voice echoed, sharp and annoyed, as you looked up to meet her gaze. No compassion, no empathy. Despite not having seen anyone else and you having a feeling you were already considered guilty - this whole court thing was probably very boring.

“Not guilty.” But maybe it would be better if you were. Erased, sent to nothingness or heaven or Valhalla or whatever existed after, if anything.

“Mrs Laufeyson, you killed Thanos.”

Your grip tightened as you remembered reaching inside of him for every molecule of water and holding it, freezing it. Can’t click if your hands are frozen, can’t do anything when all the water in your body is frozen. His water content hadn’t been that much different from a human.

And then you’d torn him apart.

“Yeah, I stopped him from killing half of Earth, half of the universe!” Anger rose up in you as it had done then. As it had when you had seen Thor come to the battlefield with only a raccoon and a tree.

Because grief would’ve gotten you ripped apart by those aliens in Wakanda and when Thor didn’t strike a death blow? You knew deep down he was out for revenge.

And Loki must’ve fallen.

“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” the woman answered and your mind went back to the cartoon explanation of the Time-Keepers.

“Then what was supposed to happen?! Thanos killed my husband! If he snapped his fingers, he’d half life across your stupid ‘Sacred Timeline,’ but I’m wrong for killing him?”

“Oh, he’ll be stopped, but not by you.” She banged the gavel. “The court finds you guilty of violating the sacred timeline. Your sentence is to be reset. Next case.”

And just like that, they pulled you from the stand. Like your victory meant nothing, your anger and grief pointless in the face of how time was supposed to flow.

That you were supposed to lose Loki.

“Reset? What does that mean?” A guard held you as the other pulled their stick from their belt, it clicking ominously as it lit up.

“Wait, wait-” You nearly missed the man who jogged to the front of the courtroom. “She could help us find the variant-”

“She was married to one, even if the variant looks different. How do you know she won’t fall for this one too?” The conversation floated above your head, but that got your attention immediately.

“You want me to help you… find Loki?”

The old man turned to you with a gentle smile. “A Loki. There’s a variant causing some trouble, so I thought maybe you could help us find them?”

You watched him, like you were thinking about it. The guard relaxed their grip on you, that gave you an opportunity. “Like hell I’d betray Loki-” you snarled, grabbing at the stick and pulling it into you.

Losing him was bad enough, betraying him was completely out of the question.

You didn’t see their faces or the reaction to your suicide. You just hoped that this would be enough of a battle to take you to Valhalla.

Your eyes snapped open to an overcast sky. Wind rustled the dry grass beneath you as you slowly sat up.

This seemed far from the golden halls of Valhalla.

Failed, you’d failed again. You pushed yourself to your feet and surveyed the long abandoned buildings and debris. A dumping ground it looked like. Was this really what came after?

You trudged steadily across the vast fields, moving further away from the rumbling cloud - much to your relief. The last thing you needed was a storm above you.

You’d passed an Avengers Tower at some point, the building dull and power long-gone. You missed it or rather you missed those peaceful days, coming to live with all the Avengers, drawn to Loki and his cooler aura.

You should’ve known he loved the ice as much as you. Your ice mutation, his true heritage as a Frost Giant - maybe that was what had eventually drawn the two of you to one another. There was always something so quiet about the ice rink and it had become your secret place. Snowball fights, skating, certain activities that weren’t entirely designed to happen on ice.

Tears misted your eyes as you kept going, not sure if you would even find another person - human, alien or anything else - in this realm. Just buildings and places that you did or didn’t know from time gone or time to come.

It seemed like there was no day or night here, just endless clouds. A place that time had forgotten, a place outside of time? You wondered if it sat somewhere on Yggdrasil or if one of those Sorcerers, the ones Bruce had met, could come here.

But if it was a different time and not just a different space… A semi-sphere sticking out of the ground caught your attention. Some kind of wheel on it that reminded you of the way bank vault doors always looked in movies.

It probably couldn’t hurt to open it and see what lay beneath - if anything. You grunted and pushed and pulled at the thing until you found the right way to open it. It creaked in protest, moving slowly before you heard a loud clunk and you began to pull.

The door opened, though you couldn’t see much inside, but there was a ladder to take you down. Death being the worst that could happen, you climbed in and made your slow descent.

The darkness didn’t last long before the hodge-podge of interior decorating greeted you.. Not that this place seemed to have any furniture stores handy.

“Hello?” you called, reaching for the next rung.

A rung that didn't exist. Your grip slid and the ice you reached for did little to soften your fall as you landed with a smack on the floor. The world turned blissfully black. Finally.

Your head throbbed and you groaned in disappointment - where was death when you needed it?

“Hold still a moment longer.” A hand cradled where the throbbing pulsed from in your head as another hand told the rest of you to stay in place. The pain lessened and soon vanished. “There we are.”

You opened your eyes to question what had been done, to find out why something in it was familiar. Your eyes met before your gaze flickered up to a familiar yet different head piece. You shook your head. “I - I was climbing down the ladder - where am I?”

The older man snorted. “At the bottom of the ladder, my dear.” Your eyes swept over his clothes, but soon returned to the horns.

“Loki…?” you whispered tentatively before staring at his face. But, as you suspected;

“I don’t think I’m the Loki you seek, hmm?”

You dropped your gaze, that familiar lump forming in your throat again as you shook your head. There was no way your Loki could have become this old and you weren’t sure that this was what he would look like if he was older.

He patted your head gently. “I suppose you’re the same as all of us, caught by the TVA?”

You nodded, telling him your name. “They - said something about a Loki - they were looking for, I didn’t want -” You breathed out a sorry before taking deep breaths and trying to force that emotion down again so you could speak. “I used the stick thing, I thought it was how they would ‘reset’ me. But I’m here, I thought I would die but…”

Loki tipped your chin gently and shook his head. “No, there’s no peaceful death for us here, I’m afraid. Come on.” He pulled you easily to your feet, still holding one hand as he carefully helped you down the steps to some seats. It almost reminded you of a bowling alley as you took a seat on the two person couch.

He moved away and you took in the space around you, the large chair that could’ve belonged to a mall Santa, bowling pins, old arcade machines, boxed wine, a paddling pool and an - “An alligator?!”

“Another Loki,” he calmly told you, handing over a glass of water. The alligator made its way closer and accepted your tentative pat on its head. Your fingers ran over the cool scales and it seemed content not to attack you.

You sipped the water and shook your head in silent disbelief. “Sure, why not Loki as an alligator.” You looked up, finding the older Loki looking back. “Are there other… people, Asgardians, aliens here?”

“There’s a much younger version of myself who is here too. There are other Lokis out there.” He nodded up to the ladder you’d come down. “But many of them can’t work together - just backstabbing each other until someone rises to the top.” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head and sipping from his goblet.

“What happened, if you don’t mind my curiosity?”

Your gaze slipped away. “Something happened with Odin and he died. And- and Loki and Thor have a sister? They went to Sakaar and found Bruce but he was Hulk for a long while. And Asgard was destroyed, Ragnarok happened? I only had Bruce to ask and he - wasn’t totally sure. The most important thing was that Thanos was coming.”

“Ah, yes,” Loki murmured in understanding and you fell silent. It all felt too new. “I managed to escape him on that ship. I disguised myself as debris. He didn’t notice and I was able to drift through space until I found somewhere to stay in solitude. As you can see, I spent a long time there, I’ve aged much since then, but I missed everyone. I wondered if Thor missed me, or Sigyn, anyone.” He sighed and sat back in his chair. “As soon as I started to put something into action in regards to leaving? The TVA showed up.”

“I’m sure they did,” you whispered. After all, it had been Thor’s blow, one of revenge not instant death, that had been the nail in the coffin of your hope. “He wanted revenge on Thanos.”

“You came straight from battle?” At your nod, Loki gestured behind you. “It’s not much but you can clean up, I’ll find something for you to sleep on.”

He got to his feet, leaving you alone, and even Alligator Loki slid back into his paddling pool. Perhaps in some sort of effort to give you privacy. You stripped out of the TVA jumpsuit and climbed into the bath, pulling the curtain around you.

You turned on the water and in your first moment of silence, of tentative safeness, you found the ability to mourn the loss of your husband.

Want to be tagged in future parts or future Loki fic? Go here

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

The Truth Revealed

Pairing: Platonic! Peter Parker & Reader; Reader x Bucky (but that's not really plot relevant)

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: nun too bad, Bucky finds out the truth and kinda blows up but it all works out yk lol

Genre: kinda angst kinda fluff

Summary: You happen to be the only person who still remembers Peter Parker exists and you are not about to hang him out to dry. So what happens when you take Peter in and basically become his guardian? Well- nothing is simple where super-teens are involved, but you and Peter can certainly handle whatever comes your way. Right?

***

Peter comes barreling down the hall yanking his mask over his head as he rambles quicker than you can warn him.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I know I missed dinner, but man you would not believe the night I've had?! And of course most of it won't be reported because they're not like world ending, Avenger level threats just a bunch of losers bullying my neighborhoods? It's like they all decided to commit crime tonight or som-" he stops suddenly when he finally sees Bucky sitting next to you on the couch. "Mr. Bucky- I- didn't know you'd be here tonight. Hi." Peter says awkwardly. You take in Bucky's changing expression and then look back at Peter.

"Peter your dinner's on the counter." You say, clearing your throat.

"Right yeah thanks." Peter pivots into the kitchen.

"What the fuck?" Bucky turns to you.

"Take a breath." You warn.

"I'm breathing- but what the fuck?"

"I know this is a shock but there's no need to make it a big deal."

"Oh this is a huge deal, Peter when you're done heating up your food come have a seat." Bucky calls into the kitchen and you cringe to yourself.

"Peter when you're done heating up your food take it into your bedroom." You call and Bucky's head snaps towards you again.

"Are you serious?" Bucky blinks at you and for the first time ever it feels like you're on different sides of the fence, but you have to handle this in whatever way is best for Peter and right now that means putting yourself between him and Bucky.

"You and I will talk about this first because we are the adults and then if you still want to speak to Peter after, he can join us." You say calmly.

"He needs to be part of this discussion." Bucky says.

"No he needs to eat dinner and you very clearly need a moment before addressing him." You stand firm. You know if he talks to Peter first he'll go red in the face yelling at him and Peter doesn't deserve that, you don't even know if he'll be able to handle that reaction. Bucky blows out an angry breath through his nose and fixes you with a look that would probably make anyone else wither away but you hold his gaze unwavering until Peter shuffles down the hall with his dinner.

"How long have you known?" Bucky asks you once Peter's room door is closed.

"Technically speaking, since 2017." You say.

"Excuse you?" Bucky frowns.

"It actually caused one of the worst arguments I ever had with Tony, for involving him in that Sokovia Accords fight at the airport when the kid was like 15." You scoff.

"Sokov- so you're not his godmother and you didn't know his aunt?"

"I'm not his godmother technically no, he doesn't have one. Or I guess his aunt would've been his godmother? Sorry not the point- when Tony died I kind of took over as his 'Avenger adult' since Tony was sort of mentoring him, granted we butted heads on Tony's methods a lot before that so I guess it started before Tony died. I did know his aunt though, we became friends once I learned Peter was Spider-Man." You say.

"So were ever going to tell me that or was I just going to be left in the dark forever like a fool?" Bucky asks.

"Bucky you are not a fool, first of all. It's not like I kept it from you maliciously, it's just that this wasn't my secret to tell you. It was Peter's decision to make and I support whatever choices he would've made regarding who knows and who doesn't." You explain.

"But we are supposed to be a team."

"We are a team."

"You lied to me. Malicious or not, you hid this pertty big thing from me." He frowns.

"Bucky-"

"You told me you were taking in a friend's kid after she died." He cuts you off.

"Which is true." You say.

"You didn't tell me that kid was an Avenger. One of us."

"Well it's not like you were rushing to tell him your secrets either." You point out.

"That's different he's a kid we're responsible for, this is something I should know."

"When I first brought Peter here you explicitly said you wanted nothing to do with that responsibility. Even just being friendly with him was something you dreaded the very idea of. I respected that wish. You've started developing a relationship with him and that's great but excepting me to betray his trust because you suddenly want to be involved is unrealistic you have to see that." You sigh.

"What if he decided never to tell me?" Bucky crosses his arms.

"Well then he doesn't have to!"

"Seriously? That would've been okay with you?"

"Yes. Peter has made sacrifices that no child should have to make and I will not let you make him feel guilty because of them. You can be mad all you want, I understand it hurts to find out you were left out of something and that's valid but you're not about to yell at Peter, you're not even going to speak to Peter until you stop pointing fingers for something you have no idea about." You grit out.

"Explain it to me. How do you justify that you've kept this from me for years now?"

"You didn't want anything to do with Peter 3 months ago. Why would I go telling his secrets to someone who specifically said to leave them out of it?"

"But that's clearly changed." He rolls his eyes.

"And it's still Peter's secret. You know better than anyone, trust is earned. I can't decide for Peter when that risk is worth taking. He has to decide for himself that he's ready for you to know and maybe that day was never going to come. Yes we're taking care of him but he's not a child James. Spider-Man is his and it's already ruined his life once."

"Spider-Man ruined his life?" Bucky scoffs.

"After Tony died I- wasn't around as much as I maybe should've been for him, Peter ended up getting caught up with some guy who offered him guidance where he had none, but he turned out to be a super villain and tried to convince the world that Spider-Man, that Peter was dangerous, evil even. It spilled into his normal life because that guy revealed to the entire planet that Peter was Spider-Man, it affected his friends, his family, there were protests outside his school. He couldn't deal, he went to Strange, asked him to fix it, make the world forget he was Spider-Man but that went horribly wrong, got so outta hand, universes started colliding with each other, and Peter was facing villains he should have never even known about. Almost lost his friends, did lose his aunt, and the only solution Strange had was to make everyone across all universes forget Peter Parker ever existed. He went from mourning Tony, to mourning every relationship he's ever had. Either through death or the earasure of his existence from their memories. So excuse me if I'm not keen on forcing him to tell anyone, including you, a damn thing. Last time didn't go so great." You say.

"Oh-"

"He has been fighting adult battles, making grown up decisions, since he was 15. Being a hero robbed him of so much and I am doing everything in my power to give him something back. You will not make him feel bad for not sharing something that has caused him so much pain." It takes a lot to control the emotion threatening to make your voice shake as you speak.

"I didn't realize." Bucky says.

"I know. That's why I insisted we talk alone before you say anything to him. I know how you can but but this is much bigger than us just 'lying to you' for no reason." You say.

"Is there anything else regarding this that I'm missing?" He asks.

"Not really. It's not like you had memories of him to lose from all that's happened, I don't think you ever even met him as Peter, he disappeared in the snap same as you and after Tony died he went to London on a school trip and you were off dealing with that wannabe Steve so- yeah. Nothing really changed for you."

"But for you?"

"Nothing really. I- was maybe the only exception across universes for Strange's insane spells. It's why I took him in." You shrug.

"Oh wait- so when you said you went to yell at Strange a few weeks ago-"

"He altered reality at the whims of a teenager, he deserved way more than a yelling at." You nod. "Do you still want to talk to Peter?"

"Yeah- I'd like to." He nods.

"No yelling?" You verify.

"No yelling."

"Alright, I'll go get him." You nod walking down the hall to Peter's room. You knock on the door and wait for him to mutter come in before entering. "You almost done eating?"

"I'm done." Peter clears his throat.

"Bucky wants to talk to you." You tell him.

"Is he still mad?" Peter winces.

"No." You shake your head.

"He seemed pretty peeved earlier." He wrings his hands together nervously.

"He was, that's why I had you leave, so I  could handle it, which I did." You sit next to Peter on his bed.

"I don't- like it when you guys argue." He mumbles.

"Neither do I." You shrug.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" You frown.

"You were arguing because of me." He says and you shake your head immediately.

"We were arguing because Bucky and I are two adults with opinions, believe it or not we're not going to agree on everything all the time. Even though it doesn't happen often." You wave a hand dismissively.

"Yeah but- I heard you guys... it's my fault for-"

"Don't start. Bucky was mad he didn't know, sure, but you are not responsible for his feelings and he didn't know the circumstances. I wasn't going to have him yelling at you when you did nothing wrong, especially since I'm the one who decided we would keep it from him."

"But it's my secret, he shouldn't blame you for-"

"Peter, love, my job is to protect you, even if it's from Bucky. You let me worry about the big bad wolf. And please, for once in your life, stop trying to be the grown up. You've got two of us doing it just fine." You kiss the top of his head. "Let's go, I told Bucky all that went down and he's much calmer now, but if he starts yelling that conversation ends immediately. I'm not about to let him make you feel guilty." You tell him. Peter nods and the two of you return to the living room where Bucky's still sitting.

"Hey kid, have a seat." Bucky clears his throat when he sees you. Peter sits in the armchair and you sit next to Bucky.

"I'm sorry for not- telling you earlier about the Spider-Man thing." Peter says.

"It's fine kid. I get why you might be hesitant to spill. I've got my fair share of secrets that I wouldn't go telling just anyone. It was just a shock, but I want to be clear, I'm not mad. I mean I was at first but once y/n explained everything to me there was really no way to justify being angry with you."

"I just don't want to be the reason you two fight."

"Nah don't worry, this was nothing. As far as fights go, it barely counts, and you are not to blame. I'm just hotheaded sometimes." Bucky shrugs.

"So- everything's okay?" Peter asks.

"Yeah." Bucky nods.

"Everything's okay Peter." You say.

"Oh shit-" Bucky blinks.

"What?"

"The whole accords situation."

"Yeah when the whole world thought you killed King T'Chaka." You nod.

"Ye- thank you." He says flatly.

"What about it?"

"The fight at the airport, you said Tony brought Peter to that fight."

"Correct. I cussed him out for that."

"Circling back to that, I can't believe I didn't realize it before, he grabbed my arm, it was crazy- you have to be pulling punches when you fight, right Peter?" Bucky asks.

"Uh- yeah, usually. I- could easily kill someone if I'm not careful." Peter says.

"That's impressive." Bucky hums.

"Sorry, what did you not realize before? That he pulls his punches?" You ask.

"No. He was super talkative during that fight. He's been living here for almost a year and I never made that connection, I honestly should've figured it out within a couple of months if I was actually paying attention."

"I mean, your hypervigilance usually takes a back seat when you're here so it makes sense you didn't notice. Plus, that was almost a decade ago at this point, we've had much bigger fish to fry since then- it's easy to forget details like the sound of some kid's voice." You say.

"If it helps, I don't sound the same as I did when I was 15." Peter says. "Do I?" He asks you.

"Not exactly, no." You say with a chuckle.

"I mean yeah sure I just can't believe I missed it."

"Baby, it's not that deep." You kiss his cheek. "Peter and I are just great secret keepers." You wink at Peter who smiles.

"You and I both know my secret keeping puts yours to shame." Bucky scoffs yanking you over into his lap.

"If you guys are gonna get all lovey can I go back to my room?" Peter interrupts making you and Bucky laugh.

"I just wanted to make it clear to you that I'm not angry with you. I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things." Bucky says.

"You know I've got you too Petey." You smile at him.

"Thanks guys. I appreciate it I swear but you're still in his lap and it makes me wanna leave." Peter says.

"You know one day Peter you'll love a girl so much you never want to let her go." Bucky says squeezing you tighter for emphasis. In any other circumstance you'd have giggled but you see the way Peter's shoulder's drop and your heart aches for him.

"Yeah, one day. I'm- gonna go play some video games." Peter says before disappearing down the hall.

"Was it just me or did his energy change?" Bucky frowns at you and you sigh.

"He had a girlfriend." You say.

"What?"

"Before Strange's spell that erased him from the memories of the whole world he had a girlfriend. And he loved her enouhg that he was willing to alter the very course of our world to see her happy. Still does."

"Man I'm an asshole." Bucky's head drops to your shoulder.

"You didn't know."

"Yeah but-"

"No buts. It was an easy mistake to make. We're all figuring things out as we go." You say.

"I should go talk to him."

"Sure." You say sliding over onto the couch so Bucky can stand.

"Don't worry doll I'll be back." He says kissing you cheek.

"I'll be here." You smile at him as he goes down the hall. It's a good thing Bucky knows everything now, but you clearly have quite a ways to go when it comes to Peter. You wonder if it'll ever get easier.

***

Tagged Users: @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @buchi91

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

I Don't Miss You At All (ITA One Shot)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Warnings: tears, trauma, therapy

Word Count: Thank you Tari for being such a nice friend. For reading all that I blurt out here. Thank you for being my reader and supporter even though I have been so inconsistent as a writer and as a friend.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

"Looking for something?" Your attention is brought back by the gorgeous olive-skinned lady in her late forties sitting before you. "Hmm?" is all that comes out of you while you are biting the dead skin on your lower lip. "You were looking around for something on the ceiling and-" she points at the French doors opening to the porch outside with the pen in her hand- "the doorway." Your crinkled brows relax and go up a little. "Oh. Right. It was...I was looking for cameras." Now lady furrows her brows even though she is smiling at you. "It was on involuntary." You shrug casually. The lady does not react. "I am used to cameras in my vicinity." you try to summarise. She opens the notebook in her lap. "Nothing negative. Just a project my father has going on." Now her lips make that straight line and you suddenly feel like you've failed a test. "So there is an entire crew-" "Miss Y/N, breathe." she tries to calm you down.

You breathe in, hold the air and let it out slowly, taking in your surroundings again. The beige-coloured room is well-lit- thanks to the abundant sunlight coming through the French doors. You sit on a cream-coloured velvet sofa, wearing your oversized shirt with a happy Tony Tony Chopper eating candy on the front and a pair of blue mom jeans. "So-" the lady starts, seeing that your nerves seem better- "why did you come in today?" "Doctor I-" "Jane. It's Jane. Please call me Jane," she urges with a smile before settling on her cream sofa. "Okay...Jane." You nod.  "So, tell me why you are here today." Pressing your hands between your thighs and letting the warmth seep in, you feel your chest tighten. The air that goes in to help you form the words suddenly feels heavy in the lungs. Your eyes seem to betray you a little too. You smile, trying your best to let your facial muscles close your eyes as much as possible and wipe away the moisture by some miracle. But they fail. A tear falls down your cheek, falling right through the smile. "Because I'm not okay," your voice croaks. Your shivering hands try to wipe away the tears that now seem endless. "Sorry," you whisper an apology. "It's okay," Jane soothes you, pouring a glass of water from the jar sitting in front of you on her coffee table, "let it out. That's good. We're halfway there already because you are aware you are not feeling okay. So, no need to rush. Crying is also a part of it. It is okay to cry." You gulp down the water in seconds before pouring yourself another round. "Okay," you announce softly, nodding in Jane's direction. "Take a minute if-" "No, I'm good," you confirm and settle back down in your seat with a sigh. Jane's eyes smile their kindest smile at you. "Okay. let's begin."

"Yeah-" you nod- "so, it's been a few weeks now..."

The six am alarm starts to buzz on your phone and before the alarm tone can even begin to ascend, your fingers are stopping the buzz. There is no point in the alarm when you lay wide awake in your bed in the dorm room, your eyes looking at infinity in the sky outside as they have watched it break from dawn to a proper sunny day. The constant throbbing in your head has become a part of your existence now. You lay in your bed for another hour and you would have laid there for two more had Yusuf not knocked at your door. "Y/N! We have a lecture in twenty minutes. Please tell me you are still not sleeping." You have heard him, but your body lays in bed, still looking at the sky. Yusuf knocks again. Silence. "Okay, I'm coming in," he shouts, "you better be decent because we cannot miss today's lecture." You groan and crinkle your nose when Yusuf pulls you up by your arms. You protest, not wanting to attend today's lectures. But Yusuf's begging techniques seem to be your weakness. Deodorant under your armpits and a change of shirt later you are sitting through the day's lectures, pretending to write in your notebook. Everything around you is on the move- the professors, the students, the assignments leaflets, the laptops, even the bugs crawling on the class's windows outside- while you sit in one place. Nothing seems to grab much of your attention. Except for that one whiff of jasmine, lily and a mix of spices that sometimes travels through the air and fires up the wrong wirings inside you. Some days it just makes your heart race up a bit, making you short of breath for a while. On other days, you sweat through your body, unable to breathe, looking for the washroom to run into before crumbling down in there. Today it makes your hands shiver. Your back can feel the cold sweats coming in. "I'll just come back," you mumble to Yusuf and rush to the washroom from the back door of the lecture hall. .

"All good?" Yusuf's concerns are always transparent. "Yeah. I think the dinner from last night was acting up." You smile at him through the lie.  More lectures start and finish before it is time for lunch. "Don't feel like it," you declare, "not hungry." "Have some juice still," Yusuf presses, already having brought you a glass of fresh pressed juice. "Dude, that shit's expensive," you state before sliding it back to him. "I can't. I don't feel so good." But Yusuf does not give up. You take three sips before your stomach begins to feel the nausea. You sit in the grass looking at the endless stream of students going about their day with no thought going inside your brain. And then you see those pair of green eyes. Your heart starts to race again. Only to find it is someone else. But it is already too late. The tears have begun to form. And it is starting to get hard to hide them. Taking out your earphones and plugging them in, you press play on a random tutorial on how to make rice in ten different ways and lie down on the grass with your eyes closed. Some days it works.

.

It's four in the evening and you have volunteered to get dog food for Yusuf's pitbull. You have your car now to drive you through the city, a second-hand ocean-blue Honda.  Your mind knows that dog food is an excuse. But no arguments are made. You sit in the city traffic, waiting for the light to turn green. Some random radio channel is turned on in your car. You have never bothered to set it up before. They start to play a familiar song.

Wind blows Blew me to where I belong It was you A home I came into the night

The cold sweats start again. It gets harder to breathe. The light has turned green but the vehicles in front of you are not moving. You shut down the radio and press the horn into infinity. Your car revs and breaks into a spree, only stopping at a spot where there aren't any eyes and you can finally hit your steering wheel as much as you want before you break down into an ugly cry. Two hours pass before you text Yusuf you cannot find the specific brand of dog food and return to the campus. Parking your car near your department building, you walk to the dorms. It's a thirty-minute walk.  Sometimes you feel like you hear the familiar soft British accent on your way. Your chest feels the heaviness again, but your brain simply makes it for another student on campus. You don't have any more tears left to shed for the day.

.

Back at the dorm, you stand under the shower for ten minutes doing nothing. The shirt and PJs you had on last night are what you wear again. You come down to the dining area to see if you have any appetite. You smile at the familiar faces that greet you. You know your smiles are growing weaker every day. But there is nothing you can do about it. Salad. Soup. Bread. Pasta. Fruits. Ice cream. A tiny leaf of lettuce. A finger-sized slice of bread. Two pieces of penne with barely any sauce on them and a slice of apple. That is all that goes onto your plate. Even the lady serving you is concerned for her favourite student who used to leave the dining hall only after stuffing down two huge servings of everything. You sit on the table in the corner right by the window. It is a cold spot so no one ever prefers to sit there. Even as you sit down to eat the contents on your plate, you are not able to finish the bread and the pasta.

.

Back in your dorm room, you sit in the dark on your bed for about an hour before your phone rings. It's Tony. You look at the time on your phone. It's time for the usual call. You switch on the study light to accept the video call but your fingers never touch the accept button. Finally, you accept the voice call, putting it on speaker. "Hey, sweetie," Tony's voice greets from the other end. "'Sup," you greet back, not truly matching the enthusiasm. "How was college today?" "It was fine." "..." "..." "Okay. Cool. How's that car doing?" "Doing okay." "Because I can send you a better-" "It's doing okay." "...okay," Tony's voice goes down an amplitude, "that's good to know. So...did they have anything good in dinner today?" "Same old." "Did you eat?" you can hear the concern in his voice. "Mm-hmm." Silence. "Are you in your lab?" you finally say, wanting to prevent any more questions that you did not have the strength to answer. "Yeah. Working on a special suit right now. For a special someone." There is a pause for a moment. "Can you...can I hear you work? I have to work on an assignment and I need some sort of background noise to help me get it done faster." "Oh, okay." The amplitude is a little better now.  You lie down on your bed, your legs bent close to your chest, keeping your phone next to you. Tony goes on with this work, chatting with Friday. You continue to listen to him, never consciously feeling the tears fall from your eyes, wetting your pillow. Bruce joins Tony sometime later. You don't know how long has it been since you've been lying there. But you can hear Bruce tell Tony it's two in the morning so they should call it a night. "Y/N, sweetie? You asleep?" Tony whispers through the phone. You say nothing. "I guess she's asleep. Good night, goose," Tony hums before ending the call. You do not wish for the sleep to come, for it has not visited you for quite some days now. But the fear of seeing a familiar face when you fall asleep is also the reason you do not want slumber to hit you. But it comes tonight. Bringing with it reasons you are going to feel the numbness, the hole in your chest, the cold sweats all over again tomorrow.

Loki only visits your dorm when you are not there. You are gone early from the room because you have an eight am class today. The room reeks. Used tissues lie on the floor, below the study table, overfilling the dustbin. There are half-eaten packets of chips sitting on the desk along with half-finished cans of soda. Your hoodies, sweat pants, shorts and undergarments lie in a crumpled mess in the cupboard as well as the laundry basket. He opens the windows first- noticing the dead succulents on your window sill that Yusuf has brought as a 'dorm-warming gift'- before getting to work. He clears the trash, cleans the floors, disinfects the desk, changes the bedsheet and duvet, and replaces the dirty laundry with clean ones. Taking one last look at the room, he makes sure to leave your clothes just as he had found them to not raise any suspicion. He replaces your bottles and mugs with fresh water, praying that you will drink as much as possible. Then he leaves.

.

He disguises himself as another student to watch you from afar. Sometimes he catches you lost in a thought in the window of your lecture hall. On other days he sees you looking at the void while sitting in the campus grounds. It is visible you have lost weight. Your eyes have bags under them. Your signature smile that went up to your eyes is not there. Twice he has witnessed you rush into the washroom with great urgency, and both times he has stopped himself from following you, for multiple reasons. Both times he has waited outside in the corridor, pacing back and forth. Both times you have come out with a freshly washed face, red eyes hiding behind spectacles and a smile for whoever greeting you in the corridor.

.

He keeps a good distance whenever you walk back from your department to your dorm building. The way back is dimly lit and you prefer to walk alone, no matter the time. Sometimes he watches you stop abruptly in your path. Sometimes you sniffle and wipe something off your face. Other times you take your phone out and look at something on it for a long time before closing it and resuming your walk.

.

He avoids the nights. They do not bring the best of him. Because they are not the best for you.

"Jane, is it? You do realise I would not be here had those two baboons not tricked me into walking into your office on the pretext of an emergency." Loki huffs and rubs one hand on his face while the other rests on his hips. Jane purses her lips and shrugs in agreement before sitting down on her sofa. "Must have been an emergency for your friends to bring to a clinical psychologist, right?" Loki chuckles sarcastically. Jane is unbothered. "Oh, Miss Clinical Psychologist-" Loki's eyes have nothing but pity as he looks in the doctor's direction- "you are talking to a thousand-year-old being infamous for the art of manipulation. So, no offence, but I am pretty sure I can diagnose myself better than any doctor on this planet. Let alone this galaxy." This time Jane is the one chuckling. "I am two hundred per cent sure no one has the knowledge of psychology on this planet as much as you. And I take your word for all that you said. But-" she takes a tiny remote from the coffee table in front of her, points and clicks it to the opaque window separating her room from the reception outside, revealing Peter Parker and Scott Lang pacing the length of the reception hall- "for the sake of those two worried souls, why not humour me for...twenty minutes? Not to mention, even the best of psychologists need another experienced person to help them out in desperate times." Loki looks out at the two figures who have no clue they are being watched. He can't hear but Peter is saying something to Scott with a look of anxiousness, to which Scott simply keeps his hands on Peter's shoulders for a moment, telling him something, and finally taking him into his embrace. The window goes back to white. Loki comes back into the room. He is lost in a thought for a moment. "Well played, Jane," Loki announces in a mumble. "Had it been any other day, I would not give a damn about any of this." Jane simply gestures to the seat kept for Loki with both her hands. The God sits down and sighs.

"Why do you think they are so worried about you?" Loki raises his hands in defeat. "Beats me." Loki notices Jane has not touched the dairy kept in front of her. Neither her pen. She simply sits there for the God to elaborate. After a prolonged moment of thought, and the presence of zero judgment on the doctor's face, Loki gives in. "It's their friend. She...and I are not on speaking terms anymore." Loki's voice has gone soft. Jane nods. "Is their friend not your friend?" "...she was. Till she confessed that she liked me." Loki huffs the 'liked' part as if it were an insult. "Okay." Jane nods, adjusting herself a bit towards to edge of the seat, interested in knowing more. "Nothing more to it, Jane," he points out, averting his gaze, "she's gone...a bit far so we don't see each other much." "So, you do see each other." Loki takes in a long breath, furrowing his brows as if trying to push something away. "No. I go see her. She is staying in the city. I-" Loki's gaze goes down to his fingers that have started playing with the velvet on the sofa- "check in on her. Sometimes." "Why do you need to check in on her?" Even if that question is out of curiosity, Jane makes no effort to react in any way. Loki scoffs. "Because she is wasting away, Jane. A woman like her, who is capable of changing worlds is wasting away in a box half the size of the room we are sitting in because she was rejected by the God she fell for." Jane pours herself a glass of water. "You still haven't answered my question, though, Loki." Loki looks at her in confusion. "Why do you need to check in on her?" She picks the glass up. "What do you mean- I just told you she is-" "Wasting away, yes. That's the choice she made. Why do you feel the need to go there?" Jade sits back with the glass still in her hand. "Because I am the reason she is in this mess." Loki cannot understand what is so hard to understand. Jade turns her head a little. "So are millions of other women after a breakup. Why is it so important for you to go back to her? You have already told her how you feel." Silence. The glass is sitting in her lap. Loki can feel an unnerving feeling in his chest as he glares at that glass of water.

"Because I love her," he finally admits. "Because I cherish her. Because she nearly died because of me." Jade does not speak in the silence that comes after. "Because it is preposterous to think I could ever be with her." The confidence and anger with which Loki had entered the room has dissolved into the sea of certain new emotions; emotions that seem to be taking over his features gradually. The previously poised glare has turned into a fragile pair of eyes blinking a bit faster than before. "And why-" Jane's voice is soft as it stresses her words- "do you think you cannot be with her." Jane raises the glass to her lips, drinking the water, giving the room a good long pause. At that moment, the God feels the rush of tears in his eyes, the onset of a slight quiver building in his lips, the shakiness of his breath as his throat tries to bring out what has been sitting inside that little boy for ages. "Because I'm a monster." his voice breaks as he looks back at Jane. "Because I don't deserve that love." He tries to breathe in to compose himself only for his throat to shake. "Because I am scared of not being worthy. Because I am scared she will find out it is all a facade and I am nothing but a spineless pawn. Because I have only been loved on conditions and am afraid to get hurt again." Tears fall frantically through Loki's eyes. He does not bother to wipe them off. Jane pours Loki a glass of water and hands it to him. "Must have been hard to say it out loud," she states. "I can assure you if you choose to sit with me to figure it out, it will be a bit easier than it is right now. It won't be a smooth sail, but it will hurt less. And you just want the pain to stop, don't you?" Loki takes in a lungful of breath. "I want it to stop." Janes nods in reassurance. "Please make it stop."