#‘oh wait no there he goes again…’
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Danny didn't know what to do with all these flowers. Sure, Amity had done a 180 after they stopped listening to his parents (its just a shame what had happened to them) and they now loved thier guardian and savior.
Which brought him back to the flowers. It was the day after Valentines and he had gotten gifts from what felt like everyone in the city (except Vlad who was in ghost jail via the Observants) leading him to having a massive pile of flowers, stuffed animals and candy to figure out what to do with.
Obviously most of the stuffing were going to be decorating his lair in the GZ but the flowers would rot eventually and he didn't even own a single vase anyway. He was not going to mention the chocolate.
Then Tucker gave him an idea. He can just give them away to other heros.
Cackling he set about plans to ambush the batfam who he had met once or twice when he was exploring through dimensions (and promptly chased out of the city)
He started with Red Robin the smartest and arguably the cutest of the brood. He had picked a good time too because birdy looked five steps away from falling asleep on the rooftop while running, so when Danny through a bouquet or roses at him the soft petals clocked him right in the face.
The look he gave was one of pure confusion as he stared at the plants. Then, all too soon it clicked and the vigilantes face turned a lovely shade of red as he looked around for whoever tossed them. Luckily Danny stayed off the visible spectrum that night.
The next victim was Spoiler who he clocked in the back of the head while she was distracted by talking to a civilian. The yelp she made was glorious and almost made Danny cackle and give away his position.
Red Hood Danny had to be the hardest one. Sneaking up on him was almost impossible. He could sense RH like he could a ghost but something was definitely off. He wondered if Hood could sense him too. Is that how he always seemed to know he was around. It didn't matter in the end because Danny had a lot of free time without the ghost attacks and a near endless supply of ammo. Still. Danny was getting irritated and just decided to chuck flowers at the guy until he landed a hit. He didn't know why hood was freaking out so much over flowers or why he was shooting at the flowers or even what "Pit" he was screaming about but the moment he got a hit in Danny decided to bounce.
Robin was funny. He threw a bouquet and the little bird caught it like a sword before inspecting it with a raised eyebrow.
Orphan was nice. She caught her bouquet gracefully in her arms almost as if she was expecting it and held it to her chest before looking right at him and waving.
While he was invisible.
He bolted.
Occasionally he liked to interfere with the bats rogue battles by throwing a single rose into the frey, startling the baddie of the hour and giving the bat or bats time to collect themselves. Yeah thats right. He Tuxedo Mask'd them. Something that infuriated some of the bats and got other giggling.
He at least knew better not to do this to Poison Ivy. For her he portaled in something special. The look on her face when one of those battery powered toddler jeeps came racing down the street with a full rose bush in a glass bubble and into the fight was something he'd cherish forever. Especially when she realized she couldn't control the thing thanks to the glass.
This leads to the last bird.
Nightwing was probably one of the best victims hes had. He took it like a champ and even played along, giving a little speech about being honored to receive such a gift, prompting Danny to throw individual flowers at the heros feet. Nightwing continued talking and Phantom kept giving him flowers, distracted by what the hero was saying and slowly drifting closer until-
The kick to the side of the head didn't really hurt, when you get used to being thrown through buildings not much could really hurt you anymore but it was enough to stun him and force him to drop his invisibility. Another kick and a few shocks from a pair of acrizma sticks for struggling and he was on his belly at Nightwings feet. He felt something fasten around his wrist and his core felt restricted but he didn't transform back into Fenton.
Crap. Power dampening cuffs.
He was so screwed.
Danny was later upset to discover there was a whole other bat he didn't know about or even get to target once due to him being on the daylight shift.
#dp x dc#fanfiction prompts#prompts#valentine's day#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#batfam#bruce goes full overprotective dad#and then hes like Oh its you again#Let me adopt you#danny: no#nightwing: what about me?#danny: hmm. maybe. depends if i have a chance with RR or not#Red Robin: wait what#batman: no#danny: i wasnt asking you#tuxedo mask is that guy from salior moon if anyone is wondering#i thought this was funny#danny is tied up somewhere being interrogated by bats#and trolling them#but hes actually kinda scared
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HERE’S OLDER AVA STUFF I FORGOT TO PUT IN WITH THE OTHER DOODLES
#you can tell it’s older because victim’s still ghost mode and also is not being a general menace#dude wait.#fanon victim being audio of person going “look at the little baby!! bgwbagwb babieee awww”#and canon victim being second part of same audio that goes “KILL YOURSELF”#OH GOD I HAVE TO TAG EVERRONE AGAIN#OH ALSO#THANK YOU TO KIND PERSON WHO POINTED OUT FANDOM NAME FOR PURPLE MOM#animator vs animation#ava#ava tsc#ava tdl#ava tco#ava yellow#ava blue#ava red#ava green#ava purple#ava king orange#ava mango#i forgot he has mango tango fandom name#that names actually so awesome#ava victim#ava gold#ava orchid#ava navy#also technically alan but as a stick figure!!!#so I guess uhh#ava alan becker#<— ??? yeah?#wait the implication of the tag that ava invented alan becker and not the other way around is kinda funny actually
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diversity win your spam emails are queer
#deltarune#spamton#swatch#art#doodles#pansexual#lgbt#bigshot spamton#stupid joke ive had sitting in my head for months whjbfghbjdfg. artist brain override gay brain (me too). good for him though!!#me refilling my printer ink tanks: omg my printer is pan... soooo coool....#and dont forget that he owned the mettaton dress of transgenderism either. arguably this has the trans flag colors too#wait theres a car joke here also. TransAm? more like TransPan. haha nice#+ his glasses fit the theme so Bonus Spam + i changed my 90s swat a little again#they're just gonna be different every time i draw them. for funsies. and thats fine. i havent even posted 90s queen yet SMFH !!!!!#there's something to be said about metaphors in their 90s fashion choices. something something more colorful design back then#something something not hiding their eyes yet something something Learned A Lesson....#you could read that a certain way. or perhaps not#obligatory 'my swatch uses they them' tag#obligatory 'fine to tag as ship if you want idc' tag#obligatory 'oh god i swear im trying so hard to draw and post more' tag#i saw a tag on a post from like 2019 that said 'man i only posted 9 times last month!' and im like. god. i wish i could post 9 times a#month Now???? honey you had a big storm comin#i just keep starting things i dont have the energy to finish. except for a silly gay color profile joke apparently#im sure the Smoke Smell goes reeeal good with the Dumpster Smell btw.
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im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.
do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.
and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...
i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.
...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--
#lots of expansion on this in tags beware#this is a draft from 2:40AM the day before i just felt something within me and i needed to write about fallen angel q!bbh angst NOW#this post is brought to you by q!bbh in purgatory and post-purgatory i will never forgive you purgatory 1#no one can bear to have a healthy conversation about q!bbh's behaviors let alone TO q!bbh. BUT IF Q!BAGHERA WASN'T STUCK ON THE ISLAND...#i miss u bbh + baghera interactions let me see u soon pls#he isn't impossible to communicate with ur just not jiving with his autism right u can get through to him i swear BUT TOO LATE he DIED#now he doesn't remember!!! (unless that part of the library is recovered) u lost ur shot!!! (ur issues with him will rise again)#now every time bagi goes “'cause he's a demon” with bbh i go OH MAN SHE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S MORE... it hurts how flippant it is sometimes#because WE KNOW OH MAN WE KNOW IT'S MORE and this concept of him being fallen adds SO MUCH CONNOTATION to EVERYTHING he does#it isn't just DEMON THINGS it's GOD MADE ME THIS THINGS and i just can't wait to know WHY what did you DO!!!#your instincts are to be nice though cautiously detached when your life restarts so WHAT DID YOU DO IF YOU ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD???#goopert talks qsmp#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo
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thinking about the pain of knowing there’s a place out there where things are different, but not having the power to make them that way in your own world. ultimately, these two have to live without the other. powder has her ekko but ekko lost his powder. she gets to live her life alongside him, but is burdened with the knowledge that there is another version of him out there alone, and this version herself destroyed. meanwhile ekko must live his life with everyone he cared about gone. all the people he grew up alongside have died or moved on; changed into people he no longer recognizes. he gave everything to save everyone, did what he could to reconcile with jinx, and managed to rekindle a spark in her, only to lose her again. and so he goes to the last place he got to be with her, in this other world, and tries to pretend that it’s the first time.
#i imagine he goes there a lot and tries to recreate the moment. tries to pretend like it’s the first time every time.#but of course it isn’t and will never be again#i do also have a lot of thoughts about how arcane treats its poc and specifically black characters#i think the way ekko and mels stories were handled is shameful#as a white person though i will be mainly sticking to reblogging black creators thoughts but it rly is deplorable#but they r my favs they carried#like mel coming in to fight ambessa had me going insane#cried when i saw her#yes i was drunk but that’s beside the point i would have had the same reaction dead sober#mel & caitlyn vs ambessa was awesome but i was just waiting for caitlyn to tap out bc i wasn’t interested in her LOL#i get they both needed to fight ambessa to win tho like she’s that strong#but girl idc about caitlyn#im just rambling about the show now but 😇#oh also sevika is a fav of mine but they cut her act 3 lines </3#fmsl#arcane#ekko arcane#jinx arcane#timebomb#mine
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no because the 911 fandom is going completely wild about something that makes no damn sense. like its okay for buck and eddie to date multiple women and drop them constantly throughout the course of their narratives on the path to self-discovery, but for some reason buck finally starts dating a man and suddenly it's his forever relationship
#evan buckley#911#i dont get this#'oh no what about buddie!!1'#like idk maybe wait?!?!#sorry but i hope buck dates around and i hope he even dates a woman again just to fuck over all the biphobes#buddie is NOT as important as him having an established character arc do you even care about these characters at all lol#plus it really goes to show what's normalized in media#men can only be interested in men if they've sacrificed their heterosexuality for The One like miss me w that shit#911 abc#buddie#eddie diaz#bi!buck
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one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!
#have always wanted to be good at it but it takes time#at least for me#my mom was describing one of her college friends to me the other day#and she goes ‘yeah she was kind of like you. personable and direct and kind.#‘and she was always going to deal with you (positive) instead of ignoring you’#honestly compliment of all time! because it does not come totally naturally to me#and there’s a lot that gets in my way—shyness anxiety a certain stiffness#but I love when i can feel it sort of giving way#anyway just rambling#also once again teaching has helped with this so much#because kids HAVE to be guided through a social situation. they don’t know what to do#and if I let them run it it’s always stupid#so just taking control asking the questions kind of —situating them so we can have a moment and then I can dismiss them#not that I do the same with adults lol. but works more often than you think#just having some direction and taking charge of a social interaction#I remember this comedian once saying he loved when someone took control in a social situation re: greetings/handshakes/hugs#like ‘oh thank goodness someone is figuring this out’ it’s so true and so funny skskdkdjd#I hope there is nothing peremptory about it! but I often find I’m so much ruder by doing nothing#than by being proactively kind and (hopefully) appropriate to the occasion#you know I’ve spoken on it before but my life really changed#when I made myself go back and say goodbye to my students after graduation my second year teaching#like. I literally ran away because I was so shy and it felt so awkward and no one was taking charge of how to do it#and the students wouldn’t (can’t) so it felt like they didn’t want to#and then I realized no—if someone is going to take the lead here it has to be me#and then I did! and there was in fact so much love waiting for me#people just don’t know how to show it#so you have to give them an opportunity#this is so many thoughts but I feel this sooooo much and I care about it so much
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TO ME, THAT’S CINEMA
#tomgreg#so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin#TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1#are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet#sick to bastard death of them god#so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to#greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like#girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks#and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk#and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg#doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo#sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed
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consider sanuso bodyswap where Sanji is of course "admiring" Usopp's body and Usopp is trying desperately to keep himself from getting worked up so that he doesn't light himself on fire.
Luffy and Chopper are not helping. They are in fact doing the opposite of helping. They've ramped up their pranks and are doing anything possible to get Usopp angry so that he combusts, freaks out, and then dives into the ocean to put himself out. They think it's hilarious.
Nami and Brook are Also not helping, since they're conspiring with Sanji to put on a fashion show with Usopp's body. Sanji called it "not wasting a precious opportunity to get him in something other than overalls". Usopp called it mutiny and he was gonna- dive into the ocean, holy fuck Sanji why is it so easy to catch fire?!
Best part about this is that Sanji assured him, several times, that his body doesn't get hurt by catching fire. Usopp still jumps into the ocean every time.
Robin pipes up at one point, asking if Sanji was immune to just his own flames or all flames. Sanji just kind of shrugs and said it depends. Franky, having just been leisurely watching all of this gets an idea. Would his Franky Fireball hurt Sanji's body or just give him more fire to work with?
He tries to coax Usopp into agreeing to test it out and, somehow, he manages it. Albeit, Usopp is all knocking knees and chattering teeth, a very odd sight from 'Sanji'. As part of the deal though, he can only shoot a fireball the size of his hand.
Usopp meant his small hand. The one Franky used for tinkering and fine detail work. He did not, however, clarify this.
So, when a fireball the size of Franky's big hand comes out, well. Usopp runs for his goddamn life.
It takes him a few moments- and the voices of his friends sounding distant and below him- to realize he hadn't, in fact, run to the men's quarters, but rather into the fucking sky.
And oooooh, boy he is gonna kill Sanji one of these days. Why was his body's first fucking instinct when running to go up, what the actual HELL-
Usopp lit himself on fire again.
He curses out Sanji as his Sky Walk fails in the same moment and he plummets towards the deck.
#one piece#sanuso#nemotime#usopp the first time he lights himself on fire: WHAT THE FUCK WHAY THE FUCK WHAT THE HELL OH GOD OH F-#oh ndvdggdvdv okay listen. listen. omagine Zoro's been asleep this whole time. and he misses the memo that there was a bodyswap.#and he wakes up to 'Sanji' kicking him abd immediately goes into fight mode... and then is really fucking spooked#bc 'Sanji' is blubbering about Zoro going to kill him and that he couldnt die this young and Zoro's just. Still as a statue.#Literally cannot compute.#and then 'Usopp' comes up to him. threatening him and calling him names the way he was expecting from 'Sanji'#Brook: oh dear he mustve slept through all the commotion. Zoro-san! Usopp and-!#Nami covering Brook's mouth: No wait i smell a money making opportunity#shes gonna con him. idk how or with what yet but shes definitely gonna con him#hes gonna be sooo pissed when he finds out she conned him but his usual outlet for physical violence is currently indisposed so. lol. lmao.#i like making zoro suffer idk why its just funny#wait wai what if Usopp didnt trip on him what if when he plummets to the deck he lands on Zoro lmfao#also Franky's standing there like 'Why did you dodge it?!' and Usopp is right back to trying not to light himself on fire again lol#oh n Jinbei gets roped into the fashion show stuff#where he incurs 'newbie's first debt to Nami'#damn now im thinking about him slightly concerned about all this spontaneous combustion and then Robin saying something to make it worse lol#ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANTLY the real tragedy of this post is that because Usopp's constantly worried about Combusting#it never really sinks in how blatantly Sanji is checking out his body + enjoying doing that fashion show#and because of Sanji 'enjoying the view' he never notices the brief moments where Usopp quietly does the same#before being interrupted by Luffy and Chopper coming out of nowhere wanting to roast marshmallows on Usopp's leg#okay im done were done im good its bed time gnight gmorning gday to all
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heya, i have to wake up in three hours but! here's another lil human au snippet! ft. lightly implied Laughingstock! disclaimer i am so so tired so don't come at me for typos or strangely worded sentences or missing info <3
~
Before heading home, Eddie swings by a charming little store he’s been to once or twice before. He usually goes to the chain store by his house, but he doesn’t feel like dealing with the hustle and bustle and the endless aisles. This little store is quiet, nice, and strangely has everything anyone could need.
The lot is mostly empty at this hour, so Eddie claims a spot right at the front. As with the other times, the windows are littered with displays and stickers - half off on this, sale on that. Eddie enters Howdy’s Place with the chime of the door’s shopkeeper’s bell. He’ll get what he needs and get out, quick and easy and peacefu-
Boisterous laughter slams into Eddie like a hammer, so sudden that he jumps in place. An employee stocking cans nearby glances weirdly at him. Eddie clears his throat and hurries into the nearest aisle as the laughter tapers off. The silence barely lasts a second before loud chatter starts up. It’s too fast and muffled for Eddie to understand, but he can pick out two distinct voices - one deep, one less so but still decidedly masculine.
Eddie tries to tune it out as he gathers what he needs. Toothpaste, some paper towels, shampoo. For the hell of it, he nabs a box of classic bran muffins from the spacious food section. He lingers for a moment, enjoying how far-away the conversation seems at the other corner of the store. Unfortunately, theft is illegal, so Eddie is forced to move towards the noise.
A strange thing about the store - it’s a combination general store, antique shop, and diner, complete with a miniature gift shop separating the two. One long checkout counter stretches from the open store area, behind the gift shop, and into the diner, where the conversation is coming from. An interesting setup, but an understandable one. It allows anyone behind the counter to move fluidly between customers and sections.
As Eddie approaches, the conversation becomes slightly clearer.
“-said, no wonder you didn’t get her number!” the deeper voice barks, and the two dissolve into that almost-too-loud laughter again.
As it tapers off, the other voice says, “Sounds like a real charmer! But really, you oughta be careful, Barn. One of these days someone’s gonna throw a right hook at ya.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. A transatlantic accent? He hasn’t heard that anywhere outside of real old movies and a queen he once knew. It sounds natural too, like the man was born to sound like he belongs on a 1920s radio show. It nudges something in the back of Eddie’s mind. He’s started to get really sick of that nudge.
“Oh, this guy did.”
“No kidding? I don’t see a shiner.”
“Well, yeah. I went left.”
Both of them laugh again, and Eddie feels a tiny tug at the corner of his mouth. That wasn’t funny enough to garner an actual laugh in his opinion, but it wasn’t unfunny.
Eddie steps up to the counter and quietly puts his acquired items on it, not wanting to interrupt. He chances a glance to the side - walking space in front of the counter’s length lets him see right down into the diner.
A large man with dyed-blue hair and an interesting fashion sense is at the bar, talking to an employee leaning against the other side. The employee doesn’t really catch Eddie’s gaze, but the other man… Eddie swears he’s seen him before. He studies him from the corner of his eye, not wanting to be rude but unable to mind his business.
“Our bouncer didn’t even get a chance at the action - the idiot knocked himself out tryin’ a second swing!” The customer says. His deep voice, wavering with humor, only adds to the sense of familiarity. Metal glints in his right ear. Eddie knows this man from somewhere.
The employee shakes his head, tutting. His busy hands polish a vintage pitcher. “I swear, you get all the crazies.”
“Makes for a good story, though.” The customer takes a sip from his tall milkshake and scoffs. “Though if it wasn’t all well-ending, amusing bull, I doubt I’d be so tolerant.”
Minutes drag by as the two keep talking. Eddie goes from patiently waiting to awkwardly trying to get the employees attention. If only there was someone else behind the counter, but the only other staff member is elsewhere, likely still stocking shelves.
The two men are too absorbed in their little world, even though both are facing Eddie’s way. The customer has both elbows on the counter, one of them bent to prop up his chin. The employee has his hip leaned against the edge as they chat. They’re obviously very familiar with each other, and clearly deeply enjoy each other's company.
Still - and Eddie is sorry to say, but it’s bad customer service. He’s not in a rush, but he’d still like to be on his way home. He could be fishing out the complex keys right now. He checks his phone - he’s been here for nearly fifteen minutes. Picking out the items took less than five.
Eddie sighs, staring at the various cigarette packs displayed behind the counter. He’s never seen the appeal in smoking, but as the laughter starts up again, he almost wishes he did. He’s going to treat himself to a very long shower once he gets home.
The store’s other employee walks behind the counter, carrying a box. Eddie lights up. Finally - she pointedly clears her throat and heads into the back.
The constant conversation stalls for the barest moment, and he looks over. The customer grins at him for a second - lord he’s handsome - before turning that grin towards his friend.
“You’re losin’ your touch, Howds,” he teases, bringing his shake straw to his lips.
“I resent that statement. You’re just distracting.”
“Lil’ me? Distracting? C’mon, you can just tell me I’m pretty to my face. I’ll take it like a champ, I swear!”
“Ha, good try.” The employee sets the pitcher down and starts to mosey in Eddie’s direction. “Your ego is big enough for the both of us as is. One more compliment and your head’ll pop like a balloon.”
“Well, given that most balloons don’t really pop, they just kinda deflate slowly-”
“Sorry for the wait!” the employee says loudly in a glaringly obvious customer service tone. He stops in front of Eddie with a cardboard smile. At the other end of the counter, the familiar man snickers and hides his grin behind his drink. “I trust you found everything you did - and didn’t! - need.”
Eddie just stares up at him for a moment. At six-one, Eddie hasn’t felt small in a very long time. He usually stands at least a full inch above other people. This employee - Howdy, his name tag states - has several more on him.
“Uh, y-yes, I uh, I did,” Eddie stammers, glancing at his items.
“Wonderful! And again, my sincerest apologies for the delay. My friend makes a game out of keeping me from my job.” Howdy shoots his ‘friend’ a glare with enough heat in it to make an ice cube sweat.
“No worries.”
Howdy scans the items at an almost frightening speed. Beep, into a paper bag. Beep, in. Beep, beep - “Oh, no.”
“What?” Eddie says, dread plucking at his ribs as Howdy holds the bran muffins and shakes his head. “Is there somethin’ wrong?”
“Indeed there is! You’re making a mistake with these. They’re absolutely horrible, I tell ya - and bad for you, too!” Howdy tuts and puts the box to the side. “No, no, you don’t want those.”
“I… don’t?”
“Not if you knew better! Lucky for you, I’m here to set you straight. What you need is-” he snaps his fingers, “Barnaby, be a pal and-”
“Already on it,” ‘Barnaby’ says, appearing next to Eddie.
If Eddie weren’t already paralyzed, he’d jump right out of his skin from how Barnaby towers over him. He has to be a scant inch or so shorter than Howdy, but he still makes Eddie feel tiny. Unfortunately, Barnaby is even more handsome up close.
“Here ya go.” Barnaby hands a plastic container to Howdy and taps it, smiling lazily down at Eddie. “I’d take his advice on this one. Those bran-named muffins may sound fancy, but they’re pretty crumby! You want muffins of quality. Real breadwinners!
Eddie can’t help a soft laugh. “Breadwinners, heh, that’s a good one.”
“Are you selling these or am I?” Howdy says, raising a bushy eyebrow.
“Hey, I’m just doin’ what you asked! I’m bein’ a pal.”
“And I - I’m sorry," Eddie interjects, "but you’re awfully familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
“Eh, I’ve been around, but uh… you ever been to [INSERT GAY BAR NAME HERE]?”
Howdy clears his throat. “I’m trying to make a sale here, Barn. You can flirt on your own dime when you’re not costing me mine.”
“Didja know your nose gets redder when you’re jealous?”
Howdy rolls his eyes and shoves Barnaby in the diner’s direction. Barnaby goes with a hearty snicker. Despite the joke, Eddie thinks it has some merit as Howdy scans the final item and rings him up, considerably frostier than before.
Belatedly, Eddie realizes that he didn’t actually agree to the different muffins. Too late now. “Say, what kind of muffins are those?”
“Poppyseed-lemon.”
Eddie relaxes - that is a lot better than boring bran. “Y’know, my mother loved poppyseed-lemon muffins.”
“Did she now,” Howdy drawls.
“Like you wouldn’t believe! If baking was so much as mentioned, she’d jump right on houndin’ us to whip some up for her, or send us to go buy some. We’d never even get a taste! They’d be gone the moment they hit the air, I tell ya.” Eddie chuckles. “Took me a while to understand what all the fuss is about, but man was she right. They are good!”
“Uh-huh. Well, we have a fresh batch delivered every morning. They’re not the same type every time, mind you, but I can promise that they’re all of the highest quality.”
“Breadwinners, right?” Eddie jokes. Howdy doesn’t blink, but Barnaby snorts. He’ll take it. “I might have to come by more often, if that’s the case! Thank you kindly, sir.”
“Mhm, have a good day.” Howdy hands him the bag and strides away without a glance. The dismissal is clear as day. “Say, Barn, did you hear about the racket one of those cult crackpots stirred up at our dear friend’s tearoom?”
Eddie doesn’t catch the tail-end of the sentence as he hurries away, but he frowns. Cult? What cult? There’s a cult? He certainly didn’t hear of one before moving here, and none of his background checks had turned up anything of the sort. He hopes it was just a figure of speech.
The door chimes again as Eddie leaves. It isn’t until he’s in his car that the embarrassment of that whole exchange catches up with him. If he had a nickel for every time he’d made a fool of himself in front of a gorgeous, strangely familiar man, he’d have three nickels. At the rate he’s going, he’ll either be rich, or he’ll have to move.
Eddie subtly tries to peek around the store’s window displays from the safety of his car. He catches a scant glimpse of blue hair - come to think of it, it’s a similar shade to Wally’s. But where Wally’s had, to Eddie’s memory, been uniformly dyed right down to his eyebrows, Barnaby’s rich brown roots were obvious. His beard and eyebrows weren’t dyed, either.
As Eddie relaxes back into his seat, he re-reads at the store’s name. The color drains from his face and he barely restrains himself from slamming his forehead against the steering wheel.
Oh, of course. Of course he made a fool of himself in front of the owner. Eddie can never come back here again. And it was such a nice store…
#wait wym this is almost 2k words what the Fuck!#ok! the writing gods blessed me tonight i guess!#anyway slight context -#in my mind there's a whole Plot and stuff for this au#where it starts off with eddie running into The Group™️ and meeting them mostly separately#before they all meet up and go 'hey yeah you guys ran into eddie from high school too? cool. he's ours now'#and forcibly drag eddie into their little Circle#wh modern human au#snippets from the bog#also sorry about the [INSERT GAY BAR NAME HERE] lmfao i cant come up with one atm#i want it to be wh-related and Clever#but i am not very clever on a good day and this has been a bad one! and again! im tired!#i. dont know how to tag this. whatever! if you see it you see it!#ok im going to sleep. for a whopping three hours before my alarm goes off. *less than three. Sigh.#i always do this! its like 'oh i have to wake up early tomorrow! lets not sleep at all! im feeling so creative!'#gonna go think about this au's laughingstock as i drift to sleep#FOR THREE. HOURS.#have i mentioned the three hours????
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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Me thinking about shallan davar and her relationship with her dad
#ME!#the stormlight archive#ITS BEEN A NIGHT FOLKS#KALADIN AND SHALLAN ENTERED AND EMERGED FROM THE CHASMS. SHALLAN KILLED HER DAD#ALL OF THE THINGS I HAD BEEN NOTICING IN SHALLAN'S FLASHBACKS THAT HAD BEEN NIGGLING AWAY AT MY SANITY FINALLY STOLE IT FROM ME#AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH#oh and lets not forget how iconic the announcement of shallan and kaladin making it back to camp was#a messenger runs up and fucking cuts off amaram and is all breathless and just 'THE PLATEAU' and dalinar just sighs and is like 'fucking#sadeas again. man i hate that man' and the messenger is just all 'no sir. he came /out/ of the chasms' AND WE KNOW WHO IT IS AND WERE#FUCKING CHEERING but dalinar doesnt know know. but that man Suspects. you know he does. so he 'looks sharply towards her' and goes 'who?'#'Stormblessed.' AND IM SCREAMING YOURE SCREAMING EVERYONES FUCKING SCREAMING. WE ALL KNEW IT AND YET HERE WE ARE LOSONG OUR MINDS BC THAT#DELIVERY UGH PERFECTION. and then dalinar man that he is embodies all of us after the page break bc the next sentence is 'Dalinar ran the#entire way.' WHICH OF COURSE HE FUCKING DID. FUCK YEAH. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH#words of radiance book of all time#shallan davar character of all time#SO SO SO SO GOOOOOOOOD#AND ONLY GOOD THINGS TO COME#why do i remember kaladin swearing all the oaths again and again and again as hes saving elhokar's life?? bc Iconic of him if true#Cannot wait to lose even more of my mind to this book
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okay more on hajime's underwear. . in a world where all the fte's are canon for everybody and not just a gameplay thing, do you think everybody on the island made it like. a bet or something. every single person he's became close with on this fucking island gave him their panties as a token of closeness, so like are they waiting for him to reciprocate?? the one person he gives his underwear to is like. the Chosen hajime person and they get to gloat ? do they ask.
#this is a crackfic waiting to happen i need to not make another wip . But.........#everybodys in the cafeteria of the hotel . sat patient like a serious meeting is gonna happen.#“so.. hajime who are you giving your undies to? all of us have given us yours..”#“??? excuse me?”#think hajime has to run away . but they keep chasing him down. like the everybody loves shadow audio thing but with hajime's panties.#or the mlp the gala ticket episode where theyre trying to impress him for it.#“ah hajime i made u a nice delicious cake!!!!.... so uhm... any ideas on who's getting ur panties? haha. no reason at all.”#he tries to find refuge in chiaki and she's normal. like 100% normal and he's like oh thank god...#i think her and komaeda being the only ones to not be at the cafeteria matters . i shouldve said that but oops#and theyre chilling and he keeps faking himself out bc it Seems liek chiaki is gonna ask about his fucking underwear but it's always normal#. and at the end she's like “this was fun hajime. ..” *expectantly looking*#and it clicks. she didnt say anything but she Was expecting him to give it over. like how everybody else did after a while#“yea! it was... uhm haha. so i'll be on my way ^_^;;”#chiaki's cheeks puft out and he can Tell she is disappointed. he's not sure why. why this matters. why it's like a token of. Something#that is sooooooo important to everybody. but oh well#he's off on his way and he finds komaeda. distressed over dropping his keys in the water. he can go fish em out ^w^#and he does. and he and komaeda hang out. because this is the 2nd fte space of the day that hajime typically has.#komaeda is the One person who doesn't even give a shit about his panties. like at all.#and hajime thinks this is gonna be a chiaki 2.0 situation but nagito is like “okay cya hajime ^w^ thanks for that!” and goes inside .#doesnt even give hajime a chance to give him anything. if he wanted to.#Lol...#i think im gonna run out of tags soon so ill cut it there.#micetalk#hajime#literally all of class 77b#nagito my darling#chiaki the wifey#contained myself on this one. insaneee right?#danganronpa#thinking things again
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Dragon Age thought of the day with Veilguard spoilers:
I am trying to not get my hopes up about the Inquisitor's appearance in the game, because like, Hawke was pretty underwhelming and even they had the blue-purple-red personality way to handle their non-player-controlled dialogue. The Inquisitor has nothing like that, but I doubt we'd get to choose the Inquisitor's dialogue because they want the game to be accessible to new players - unless that's also a choice at the beginning of the game, whether or not you control the Inquisitor, but I doubt that too--
Anyway so I'm trying to have low expectations but like. The fact that the Lighthouse, Rook's base, is/was also Solas' base? I need the Inquisitor to show up there. I need Ena to barge in and start rifling through all the corners of Solas' bachelor pad. Rook is like "hey, I know Varric was friends with this guy, and Harding says you had, um, history, but he's still kinda a god, right, and maybe we shouldn't piss him off" (as if I as Rook will not also do the same thing in my gameplay).
And Ena, who's been pulling all the books off the shelves to see what Solas is reading and then shaking the books to see if he's got any loose papers hidden in there, is like "Listen. He owes me this much. Oh, he's got some of Varric's new releases here! I can't believe he's still reading them, Dorian, listen" - because she has Dorian on speakerphone while she's here, of course - "oh, I have been looking for a copy of this treatise on dragon physiology forever, Rook I'm taking this when I leave, by the way--"
#da4 spoilers#veilguard spoilers#i think ena shows up and half of the gang think she's remarkably stable for all she's been through#and the other half - including harding - are like 'oh god this woman is about to come completely unglued'#i think she's gone all the way through the five stages of grief and back again and repressed everything and now she's just like. tired.#just goes 'why are you like this' to solas and then gets down to business#he's waiting for her to serve the divorce papers on him for real this time and she keeps not doing that.#one of the many personal hells he's crafted for himself. he can't decide if it's worse if she gives up on him or if she doesn't#harding is the number 1 fan of this impending divorce by the way. she looks at ena and goes 'PLEASE i will be your legal witness. please.'
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#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again.#i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this#so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo#i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me#my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning#so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me#i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip#and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to-#-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover#but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries*#it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen#this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it#but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good..#all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel#and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is#i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t#the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’#to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from-#-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!!#it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most#like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them#the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10#and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again#he’s like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head#but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch#because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :)#anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as-#-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate#i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell.#i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight
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