#‘oH bUt He’s nOt aS gOoD aS gENe oR JoHnNy’

[cherriiramen]

JUST WATCHED THE WONKA MOVIE. THE AMOUNT OF GENE WILDER’S WONKA REFERENCES THEY USED IN THIS MOVIE MADE ME GENUINELY HAPPY IDK WHY.. LIKE WHEN HE SANG ‘a world of pure imagination’ BY THE END OF THE MOVIE I FREAKED OUT 😭😭

[bunny-jpeg]

you had how many kids? (141 + more)

long post - sorry!

captain john price -

the first time price sank his cock into you. it was game over. you are probably going to end up with at least six kids running around a big piece of land in the center of the british isle. equal split between three girls and three boys. the price genes must be strong because they all look like spitting images of their father.

price loves his wife though, he just thinks you're the sweetest thing since honey. after you put the kids to bed and you're in your bedroom, your darling husband can't help but hold onto you by the hips and maybe rub up against you. your softness, so motherly. it almost makes his mouth water. he tries to convince you for baby number seven but you just tell him that there's no way that's happening. but price is a cunning man and maybe a few mind blowing orgasms will change your mind.

simon 'ghost' riley -

your daughter was an accident. it was simon's last night at home before he got deployed again. and he spent that entire night sunk into your sweet cunt. you'd find out a month into his deployment that you were pregnant. worried about telling him, you kept it to yourself. you were anxious about the news throwing him off his game and him getting hurt. he needed to come home alive.

when he came home, he made sure he treated his missus right. while the pregnancy was a bit of a shock, he made sure he made up for lost time. and while that often had you on your back. it almost meant being spoiled by your husband. your daughter was close to being the biggest the hospital had delivered. you two would be content with your daughter, who took mostly after you. but within five years she would be going around proclaiming that she was going to be a big sister!

john 'soap' mactavish -

oh johnny was a smart man. he knew what he wanted and he got it with ease. he wanted to take you back home, settle you down in a night place in edinburgh. he was thinking in the stockbridge neighbourhood, where you and him could raise your kids in peace. the first time he held you in a mating press he knew that he wanted to be the father to your (many) children. he'd take care of ya, never let the mother of his children be without. he placed a sloppy kiss on your lips, a seal of his promise. you end up with two boys, only eleven months apart (the look you got from your doctor when she found out you were pregnant so soon). they were mactavish boys that was for sure. their father's dark hair and he winning smile.

johnny does want a daughter however, he imagined she'd be a spitting image of you. while he loved his boys, there was no question about that, he thought a daughter would complete your little family. curious eyes like yours, that beautiful smile. as he kissed your neck and dug his fingers into your soft hips. maybe he could convince you in a few years to try for one.

kyle 'gaz' garrick -

kyle never thought that he would've ever been a father. when he signed up for service, he didn't expect to be done with that role well beyond when it would be suitable to be a father. so your son was an accident. he could almost pinpoint the night of his conception. he was home from abroad and the two of you spent the entire night (and the following morning) becoming requited with your bodies. you giggled when he showed off his more toned muscles and his fingers got tangled in your hair. his dark eyes felt familiar, like home, under the soft light of your bedroom. The resulting time together produced his son.

you don't end up with a big family, while you two live in a decently sized home just outside the city he is content with it just being the three of you. he'd rather be the best parent to one then worse off to more. he was a good father to his son, proud of the little baby. even when he woke you both up at all hours of the night. it was life and kyle was happy. but when your son turned five, you had something to share with kyle. you were pregnant again. he had to admit, after that, the idea of having a few more kids wasn't a bad idea.

bonus! bonus! bonus!

phillip graves -

oh phillip wants a full house. he didn't buy that nice piece of land outside of houston for show. big yard, white picket fence, in a safe neighourhood (can't have you getting hurt!). he'd be living out his all american dream. so when you ended up pregnant five months after marriage with twins, he was beyond happy. he thought your pregnant body was beautiful, even well into your second trimester he was fucking that sweet cunt of yours. telling you how good of a mama you were.

phillip thought you were the best thing since sliced bread. even when the aches and pains of pregnancy come and go, he'd making sure that his wife is good. if he can't be around, he sends his shadows to make sure that you and the kiddos are alright. so expect a big, loving all american family. you'd never thought you'd be spending your twenties caring for almost five kids!

col. alejandro vargas -

alejandro wants you safe. and you being pregnant can cause some issues. it makes you a target, so you packed up your life and headed somewhere more quiet. most information about you was redacted from public and private records. he even went as far as to change your name and identification. it was for you, for him and for the daughter you eventually had. but despite that, when alejandro returned home. he was the shadow to your daughter. she knew who her daddy was. eventually when he can get out of the snare of the military, he was home. your little place in the middle of nowhere, he promised to protect you and your little bundle.

the times he visited while you were pregnant though. he loved to run his hands up and down your swollen middle. he smiled at you, almost proud of what he did to you. while you'd in the end have only your daughter, it was a complete home. and don't worry, after your daughter's birth he is more than willing to show how much he loved his sweet wife.

rodolfo "rudy" parra -

oh rudy, sweet rudy. he couldn't help himself. the first time you fucked, or rather made love, he knew he wanted to breed that pussy of yours. he was using a condom, but he could picture himself doing it bare backed. the feeling of your slippery cunt tight around him. nothing protecting you from accidents. he'd often daydream on his off time about the three kids you had. he had even picked names out for them, but he'd get your input on it as well. after all you were the beautiful woman who was carrying them. such a good wife to him.

he left the military when you got pregnant, as did you. life became less about the violent conflicts and more about raising your son. he was a quiet baby, and rudy adored him. he also adored his beautiful wife who worked so hard to give him his son. he reminded you of that often. you do end up with those three kids within a five year gap and rudy couldn't be happier.

könig-

oh, könig. he knew that you'd be carrying a big baby. like look at him, he towered over you and could easily bench you in your third trimester. so he wasn't expecting a whole army of children. one very large boy was enough for him. the 99th percentile. but he was there the entire time, he made sure that you were taken care of. he felt safe having his larger body up against yours, protecting it. he'd rub your belly with his large hand. even if you were very pregnant, you still were small compared to him.

he loves his son, obviously. the first time he held him, he almost cried. he was a father now. he had a wife and a child, a home to call his home and a place to feel safe. he was an attentive father, he was used to being up early. so you got to sleep in while he checked in on your son. he made sure to teach him german, english and a few of the other languages he had picked up. he was going to make sure his son knew all about the world. he was a proud father!

[wxnheart]

𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐳𝐚, 𝟏𝟒𝟏 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐒𝐨𝐚𝐩

note: Soap is so ruggedly adorable. I couldn't help but pick this gif. He looks so awestruck. Imagine him looking at you the same way. The sequel is here, guys!

Unconventional seemed to be the story of your life. Or that's what others thought. For you, it was as normal as eating and sleeping.

But of course, nothing was normal when it came to Ghost and Soap. Mm. You wouldn't call it unconventional. You'd call it exciting. Yeah... they're exciting. They keep you on your toes and you on theirs. And damn if you didn't enjoy everyday life with them.

Of course, you two can be (lovable) pains in Ghost's ass. But to be fair, everyone is a pain in Ghost's ass so you're doing something right if all he does is stare glare in longsuffering Ghost. And stare glare in longsuffering Ghost he does...

But yeah, it's the little things that make this relationship worth it.

Like the fact that Ghost has to be in the middle of everything. Literally. He sits in the middle of the couch, he's in the middle when you sleep. He's the neutral to your chaotic and Soap's... somewhat-but-not-really chaotic nature. He's, uh... he's in the middle of everything. ("...But I'm bigger than you both." "All the more reason to keep you in the middle, Lt." "What the fu—")

He also may or may not be the little spoon no matter what. Spoiler alert: he is. If it isn't Soap with an arm around his waist in the bed, it's you with your... everything pressed against him. You're probably copping a feel, too, and Ghost just sighs. You better not be touching anyone else's body but his and Soap's.

But hell, you love to cop a feel of Soap's beautiful body too, and he'll wink at you. Sometimes, he'll flex those big arms of his, and holy shit, you're swooning. Simon rolls his eyes.

And let's not forget the most recent argument about who snores. You say Johnny, he says it's you, and Simon says it's the both of you because you've ruined his 'beauty sleep' more than once. ("...Beauty sleep?" "Can't let these good genes go to waste." "....") You decided to record yourselves one night and come find out, all three of you snored. Ghost will call bullshit.

Fun fact: Simon does snore but it's really noticeable when he's REALLY fucking tired and Soap has a tendency to sleep like the dead and be alert at the same time. You bore witness to this a couple times. What the fuck?

Oh yeah, back to the little things: watching television together is a hoot and a half, too, if only because you're usually in control of the remote. You're really the only one who watches tv. Or so you think. Soap usually doesn't care what you watch unless it's clichè (and he will talk shit about how cliché the show is) and Ghost would rather the telly watch you three fuck. He already knows what's going to happen to the main character anyway because he and Soap binge-watched and trash-talked the show when you were out running errands.

When they're gone on assignment, they're confident you'll hold the fort down but that doesn't stop them from worrying about you. It always makes your day when they call to check on you.

You also tend to flood the group chat with memes or just start random conversations. Simon has banned you from posting risqué photos because all he'll think about is coming home and fucking you into the mattress. Soap is in agreement.

And when they do come home, the first order of business is holding you. Group hugs and cuddles are a must, especially for Ghost. And yeah, you can't deny how good it feels to be in between two muscular and handsome men.

And it's such a sight to see when you're the first one awake and you watch your boys sleeping so peacefully.

Let's not forget when they huddle closer together when you get out of bed. You took a picture of one such instance. Simon rolled his eyes and Soap was tickled by it.

Yeah, it's the little things that make this relationship worth it...

[coyoteprince]

Some thoughts on the masculine side of my gender experience and how it ties into vulnerability

I am nonbinary, I believe some flavor of fluid, but I just read as a goth cis woman to the layperson. That's fine and good, there is a safety and privilege in being stealth even with the alternative way I dress, but there also feels like a safe with something precious I keep locked away in me.

I take comfort in referring to myself as a "woman with a man's personality" and likening myself to a kelpie or nymph: beautiful, soft, but merely a vision of a woman: in reality underneath the gossamer, a beast that fails man's words.

Occasionally, something stirs to life in me, similar but different: those feelings of masculinity. I am naturally positioned by my genes (I can grow a shitty sparse beard) and temperament to have some secondary features- but thats it.

And yet, when the pangs of longing ache, they come on suddenly and harsh and I feel trapped.

There is nothing I can truly do to feel comfortable with the swing of identity. Only shapeshifiting back and forth could satisfy me which is impossible. Yes, I could seek hormones or surgery, but I have decided for now to not for a variety of reasons. As part of that, I've always been rather... defensive and secretive about the masculine part of my identity. I have a secondary masculine name I only allow people I trust to call me, and this dumb tumblr post is the first time I'm admitting some rather personal things to the public eye.

I'm well aware today many won't respect the nature of my gender just because I am a ~nonbinary girl~ and not seeking permanent transition, but even before that the thought of being trans was too much for me.

The first time I realized I was trans I wasn't older than 15 and noticed the thoughts I was experiencing about wanting to feel like a boy. It frightened me so bad that I vowed to never give it attention again specifically because I already knew I was queer, mentally different, being abused, and "didn't need another target on my back". Haha. Hahaha

Ignoring those thoughts hasn't been too hard except when I see the ghost of my identity. Then it is overwhelming, like a wave crashing over me and threatening to sweep me into the tide. Painful and exhilarating all at once. Before I know it, it's gone again.

I read and watched The Outsiders in middleschool, as did many. I latched onto Johnny, a greaser kid with an abusive family who tried to play tough but was really just an incredibly scared, sweet runt. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I identified so hard with him but hindsight is 20/20. Despite the hamminess of Outsiders, I continue to hold a fondness.

Later, when I became comfortable with my nonbinary ID (something that was quite difficult for me) and an adult, I saw another ghost. A theme now set: soft hearted greasers. The first time I heard this I curled up and couldn't stop replaying it even though it made my chest ache.

Finally, the last ghost I've seen and what really made it all click for me was Izzy.

I was neutral of Izzy for the first season (sorry my old man fucker peers), but seeing him become disabled and starting to soften made me intrigued. Then, the drag scene and him singing: I yelped in excitement, bewilderment, and bawled like never before. It was the most intense gender euphoria I've ever felt. Izzy shot to the top of my favorite characters ever in an instant with all he grew to embody.

I guess I identify with boys clad in leather, forced to become rugged in all the wrong ways. Underneath, a natural softness terrified but desperate to show itself.

You can see this in Waite, too: A handsome, dark man who is oh so soft underneath. It's no secret that in my story over time he accepts his nonbinary identity and allows his truth to be seen framed by carnations and frill. Perhaps he is what I wish I was.

On the other hand, Degare is somewhat closer to my reality. A gender all his own, effeminant masculine mannerisms, fairly feminine dress, breasts and vagina and all- though he is still often more masculine than how I present. In contrast to Waite's uneasy fear of judgement, he tries to guard his natural softness rather aggressively out of fear of being taken advantage of.

I'm sure to many reading this I sound like a transmasc "egg" that hasn't cracked yet. To others, very mentally ill. Maybe to some who are fluid, they know the wish-washy feelings.

Either way, I'm a proud freak and I've worked hard to not allow others to hold power over how I view myself anymore. These past 4 years through a cocktail of treatments (though meditation and practice have been the biggest game changers) I've diligently learned how to balance being openly loving to all and authentic- yet protecting my energy and staying sure of my identity no matter another's opinion. Misery loves company and bitter, paranoid gossips and I no longer get along.

Softness, kindness, vulnerability for others and yourself are all difficult, at times seemingly impossible things to achieve when you come from a harsh upbringing and live in a world bombarded by bad news. Change in your view and behavior is excrusiating. But I believe striving for authenticity and love is the most important thing we can do as humans in this life.

Whether I end up transitioning down the line or staying as I am, I've learned to cherish these flashes of masculine desire and be empowered by vulnerability- and I don't regret it.

[sh4wty18]

i saw u doing johnnie x pregnant!reader and loved it, wanted to know if u could do jake x pregnant!reader?? xx

- lisey 🦇

of course! anything for my fav moot <33

jake x pregnant!reader hcs

purple = reader orange = jake

tw: nothing here is accurate or representative of jake in real life. this is all fictional and for fun only!

★ when he finds out you’re pregnant, he wants you to be resting ALL THE TIME. like you have to explain to him that just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t do stuff

★ he definitely uses your pregnancy as an excuse to order food out a lot

“hmm i think the baby wants taco bell… what do you think, babe? 👀” “i think you want taco bell, jake!” “no!!! how dare you accuse me of such tomfoolery?! the baby definitely wants it! i think we gotta get it… for the baby of course”

★ he’s constantly checking in on you and making sure you feel okay. like if tara or carrington want him to go out he’ll triple (definitely quadruple) check with you and make sure you’re okay to be alone

★ speaking of going out, he feels SO BAD that you have to miss out on partying, drinking, smoking, etc. to the point that he literally goes sober for you

★ he would choose a night in with you watching your favorite movies over a night out

★ he never was much of a date planner before you got pregnant, but now he’s planning dates 24/7… man’s down bad and he will honestly be happy doing whatever you want all the time

*cue jake looking at himself in the mirror after letting you give him a makeover for fun… makeup, glittery nail polish, etc.* “do i look like a pretty princess?” “oh yeah, you’re the prettiest princess ever, baby”

★ he’s not scared to be a dad he’s just not prepared. he doesn’t feel like he’s out of his youth yet and he somewhat wishes he had more time before entering fatherhood. however, the more your bump starts to show the more excited he gets to meet your little one

★ he doesn’t care if it’s a boy or a girl he’s just excited to have a mini version of you and him running around

★ constantly making jokes about how your kid is going to be the most gorgeous person of all time (because they will have your combined good looks, obviously)

“our baby is gonna have the best mix of both our genes and they’re gonna be so cool and smart and funny and kind and awesome!!!!”

★ happy stims when he can feel the baby kicking :’)

---

these were so fun to think of and i hope you all enjoyed :) especially @liseytopia !!!

[ceilidho]

okay you opened a can of worms by inviting me to share my thoughts but i'm spewing this jumbled mess into your inbox.

i don't know why the fallout price cult leader got the worms WIGGLING as much as they did but it's so, so brilliant. because cults are so, so sneaky. there's a reason why people join them, or are born into them, and never ever leave. they're charismatic. kind. they make the weird acceptable in ways most others wouldn't. like i mentioned before, out of the frying pan and into the fire; except you don't fully realize you're on fire.

price's vault runs so smoothly that no one would ever expect anything sinister because all the inhabitants are completely content, if not thrilled with their lives. they welcome you with open arms, which is much needed and extremely missed after not having real human contact for x amount of time due to distancing because of the sickness that ravaged your old home.

oh god, and new breeding stock? i just know that if you make a comment about it, unsure if they're joking, they pass it off as an archaic term. it's your strong genes. you survived a plague, didn't you? if you eventually choose to wed and have children, it'll strengthen the population. that's it. don't think too hard about it.

but all it is is fucking mind games. they have to rewire your brain if you'll ever be an upstanding citizen of the vault. everything is completely normal, especially the things that make you uncomfortable. it's how they get you. how they hook you in and never let you go. and hell, if they can't train you? good on Mr. Price, our Overseer, to take in such a wreck of a woman. he truly is our good leader, setting such a wild thing straight.

it's like if midsommar and fallout had a fucking child and i'm so here for it. i think this will rot me from the inside out for a few days.

but also the idea of raider!johnny just. fuckin covered in blood after slaughtering the band of raiders for ever dare insinuating that you were anything but his is also hot as fuck. i do love my men feral and disgusting.

omg I forgot to post this the other day because I read it as I was falling asleep but holy shit……please write this I beg of you 😫 sometimes I look back at the way Price spoke to Gaz in MW1, the subtle manipulation of it all, and god. He’d make such a good cult leader.

[moonlit-escape]

★彡 ˙🌱. ¡! Vylad Mystreet headcanons !!

the second character i fell in love with. how cruel it is that he has fuck all going for him. I'll fix that.

korean and white

pansexual (actually this one is just canon) (cole petty ily)

doesn't have like a set label for his gender, and is cool with anything people wanna see him as

will try anything once

will put anything in his mouth

can sleep literally anywhere

i think this man might be the most laid-back, flexible person on the planet.

except towards geese because fuck those things

any time he has slept in a park he has made sure there were no geese around because those fuckers have stolen his stuff before and made him watch as they drowned it

listens to the most underground shit you've never heard and it all slaps (i didnt add this kind of stuff to his playlist though bc i wanted it to. make sense.)

also just listens to underrated music in general (includes just underrated songs from super popular bands)

currently holds an award for being the "funniest man on mystreet" and he didn't even have residency there

kind of has random visions about his friends in his sleep, but he just thinks they're normal dreams and that he misses his friends a lot (oh little does he know.)

used to say the most cryptic shit as a kid and freak his brothers out

being friends with vylad as a kid mustve been the weirdest experience. the kid eats glue, dirt, and moss, befriends frogs, crows, and moths, tells you you've suffered immense turmoil in a past life completely sincerely, and then infodumps about the entire history and process of typewriters for some fuckin reason

im 100% sure all three of the boys have autism and they got it from zianna

while he doesn't really want to connect himself to the ro'meave name (mainly bc of garte), he does love his family to death and sends his mom and brothers post cards every once in a while (when he remembers, mostly)

doesn't really reach out to his family any other way and neither do they. which he understands; communication is a two-way street

tries to stay positive and practice a healthy mindset and self-image, even and especially when he feels his insecurities and sense of self-worth creeping in

knows how to fish with nothing but a shoestring and a good fuckin stick

Loves pickin up good fuckin sticks

also cool rocks

he collects cool rocks from all the places he visits and keeps them in an old jewelry box. he keeps special ones he plans on giving to his friends in the top part of it

always making friends with stray dogs, cats, rats, raccoons, and opossums. someone stop him

has a johnny stein hotel transylvania relationship with his backpack (it literally has everything he owns in it)

knows how to fix and alter clothes

he knows how to do a lotta shit, alright. i don't think you'll find a craftier little guy than vylad ro'meave

except when it comes to fixing a water heater or anything to do with pipes or electrical tbh he hasn't lived in a house in a While

i'm obsessed w the idea that zane had spent so much time and effort trying to get gene to notice him meanwhile vylad enters gene's peripherals for 2.5 seconds and gene's like I Want Him.

poor vylad can't get on zane's better side for shit

owns a few skirts and dresses and high-heeled boots because he can wear whatever he wants

goes to ren faires whenever he can honestly. sometimes as a job!

when his hair gets too long he ties it back into a low ponytail or pigtails until he can get it cut again (doesnt really like having long hair)

wears weird and funky socks

he absolutely has a roblox account

likes to pronounce words wrong on purpose sometimes. mostly by putting emphasis on the wrong syllables

ABSOLUTELY adds extra e's to his words when texting bc thatse good showbiz babey!!

the type of kid where his first word was actually just a full coherent sentence

i'm coming to terms with the fact that he is most definitely a furry (not the type to dress up for it though. he just does artwork)

spent so much of his younger years trying so, so hard to achieve an astounding success to get his father to notice him. feeling like he had to "earn" his place as a ro'meave with him. but, it was a good thing he realized fast that that was never going to happen

because he did achieve some incredible things! he was a perfect child prodigy; on his way to dual enrollment by only his first highschool year

but, he realized, one whole summer with his father home, that all that work to be the perfect son, just like his brothers were, was.. really for nothing, when he saw zane completely break down one night after dinner

so, he dropped the course to dual enrollment entirely, asked to be transferred from o'casis to phoenix drop high, and decided to take more time for himself. figuring out who he is and what he likes. which, is sorta just turning out to be "anything, except the things he doesn't"

but, there's a lot out there still. and, while he still feels like he hasn't entirely found his own sense of self-worth, he's going to keep trying new things and discovering all that he can about himself until he feels whole enough to come home

[aishnico]

#𝙅𝙊𝙃𝙉 𝙁𝙍𝙐𝙎𝘾𝙄𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀: 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳

» word count: 2.6k

» warnings: fluff, small pregnancy talk, smut, oral & (fem! receiving) penetrative sex, breeding, grammar issues

“and there she is!” your husband, john announces while opening his arms to flea’s toddler, sunny.

sunny started to squeal cheerfully when he saw you and john. flea was holding her on air and using her like a plane. when he stood before you two, he slowly kneeled and made landing noises.

“say hi to uncle johnny and auntie [name]!” flea chuckled at her giggliness. “hewo!” she smiled with closed eyes.

“oh, sunny! i didn’t know you started to talk. i’m so proud of you!” john melted at her cuteness. he slightly raised his hand for a high-five. she looked at his hand for a few seconds then hit it with all of her will.

“ah!” he pretended like he was hurt by her action as the three of you laughed.

“she grows so fast.” you sighed as you watched john and sunny play.

��i know right? she even learned some curses,” he whispered into your ear.

“what?!” you slightly raised your voice. you looked at them and saw they were not even looking in your direction.

“shh! do not let frankie know about this, she’s going to kill me!”

“michael, we are going to kill you, she’s just a toddler!”

“shh, some shit happens.” you hit his stomach with your elbow slightly then raised from your seat and walked towards them.

“our little sunshine is growing so fast, what are we gonna do now?” you pouted and caressed her soft cheeks.

“she’s always gonna stay as our little sunshine. right, sunny?” john asked her.

she hummed and nodded. she climbed on his lap and lay in a comfortable position. “jowny!”

“aww!” he hugged her carefully to not crash her. you melted at the sight in front of you. there was no lie, john was really good with kids. Immediately befriending them in the moment when they just talk.

you grabbed your camera from your bag and positioned it to a perfect angle.

“john, sunny, say cheese!”

“cheese!” they said at the same time. after a couple of seconds, the photo was ready. sunny was looking at the picture with excited eyes. so you gave it to her. she looked at the photo for a couple of seconds, then turned her head to john.

“us?”

“yeah, us.” he caressed her head.

you wondered how he would be as a father. you both talked about kids and you were neutral about them. sure, they are adorable but you two are busy with your own work. that doesn’t mean you don’t want them.

“look at this curly, blonde hair and blue eyes, you just look like your father,” john said while looking at flea.

“hehe, you know clara too. i guess i have pretty strong genes.” he chuckled.

“that’s for sure,” you added. sunny turned her head toward you and made grabby hands to you. you giggled and got her from john.

“who’s our princess, who’s our pumpkin, who’s our little shining star?” you asked her while spinning her in the air.

“me!” she raised her hands suddenly. “indeed you are!”

“guys,” flea caught your attention. “i want to ask you for something.”

you and john looked at each other then turned your heads to him. “what is it?” john asked.

“john, you are more than a bandmate for me. you’re like my little brother. i enjoy every second i spend with you.” he then looked at you. “and you, [name], i’ll always be grateful to you for saving him. for bringing him to us again. you two are one of the few people i can trust in my life.

i talked with franny, she said she’s okay with it. i’m asking you, to be godmother and godfather to sunny.”

you were utterly in shock, not knowing what to say. you looked at john and he was in the same situation as you.

“flea, this is a serious decision. are you sure?” you asked him.

“one hundred percent. this is the proof of my trust in you. what do you say, john?”

“i-i don’t know. i feel so… honoured. i’m willing to protect her at all costs. but like she said, are you sure?”

“yeah! you two are pretty calm, collected, and trustworthy. i don’t know why are you so unsure. i’m sure you two would be cool parents.”

you looked down and blushed. not wanting john to see your pinkish face. he would make fun of you later.

“then i’d love to be her godfather,” john said with an endearing tone.

“great! you, [name]?”

“same goes for me.”

“excellent. we haven’t baptized her yet. so i’d like to see you guys there.” he got up and picked sunny from your arms. she was yawning and was ready to sleep in your arms.

“our little princess is tired already. i’m gonna put her to bed.”

“and we were just about to leave. right, john?” you smiled at him.

“uh huh. we’ll talk about this later. bye!”

it was evening already. you were washing dishes while john was drying them and putting them in their places. jazz music was playing in the background. it was a cozy atmosphere.

after you finished he offered you to watch a movie. you agreed and settled everything. the movie has started but you weren’t paying attention at all. your mind was still stuck at today’s events. how john was playing with little sunny, how gentle and caring he was with her. your cheeks reddened at this.

“is everything okay, love?” he asked you with a soft tone.

“yeah, it’s just hot in here.” you smiled and shoved the napkin away.

“is the movie boring for you? we can watch another or close..?”

“i’m fine johnny,” you snuggled to him. “let’s continue.”

“love, there’s clearly something bothering you. i can see that. just tell me what’s wrong.” he caressed your reddish cheek and kissed the top of your head.

“damn, you know me too well.”

“of course. i’m your husband, after all.” he gently held your hand and put a kiss on your ring while making eye contact with you.

“john, i want kids.” you turned your head to the other side with frustration. “i just can’t get out the moments we spent with sunny from my head. you were amazing with her. i couldn’t help but imagine how you would be around our kids. i was thinking about it for a while. but now, i’m 100% sure. i want it.”

there was a silence between you two. you closed your eyes and bit your lip. it was probably a bad idea to tell him about this. he was a rockstar, he can’t be around always. and you have your own work anyway.

he let out a sweet chuckle and wrapped his arms around you tightly. you opened your eyes with a confused look but giggled when he started to pepper your face with kisses.

“i was thinking about it too, for a while. i thought you weren’t ready so i never mentioned it. but whenever i see you with clara, sunny, or any other kid, these ideas come into my head again. we are both busy, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have them. i can always spare time for you and i know you can do it too. we are financially stable, we accomplished most of our goals, traveled to new places, experienced a bunch of crazy things, and we have a long time ahead… i think we can try.”

“johnny,” you melted in every word, snuggled him closer, and wrapped your arms around him in response. “i love you so much. but i want to give them the best life. the best family environment they could ever ask for. can we really work this out?”

“we will, sweetheart.” he kissed the top of your head again. “if we want this so much, then we will. we will go to any parental classes, we will go to your appointments and i will be by your side during the birth. i swear, i won’t let you down. never again.”

your eyes got filled due to his words. him mentioning his drugful past and how he regrets everything about it made your heart clench once again. but you two covered from it. you were by his side and he did his best to recover. since that day, he never let you down. and you know he won’t from now on.

“and i love you too, sweetheart.” he wiped your eyes and started an emotional kiss. tasting each other’s lips without rushing, savoring every second. you wrapped your arms around his neck, wanting to pull him closer. meanwhile, he put his hands on your cheeks, caressing gently. almost afraid to break you.

things started to get heated when you started to suck on his bottom lip and play with his curls. he deeply inhaled and responded by doing the same thing to your upper lip. you accidentally moaned when he bit your lip.

“sorry,” he pulled away with an apologetic smile.

“it’s okay,” you replied while climbing onto his lap. “i think we should move this to the bedroom.” you teased him.

“yeah,” he held back of your thighs, lifting you effortlessly and carrying you to your bedroom.

after a couple of seconds, he kicked the door of your bedroom and slowly put you down on the bed. you spread your arms, smiling at him endearingly. he looked at you couple of seconds, admiring your blissful face.

“every day i wake up and thank god for seeing you by my side with this face,” he admitted before lifting your shirt from your body, and then unhooking your bra. he felt himself start to get hard when he saw her exposed breasts. sudden cold air made your nipples get hard and the way he was looking at you made your core wet.

his thumbs trace lazy circles around your hardened nipples, making you gasp and bite your lip. he smirked at your reaction then took your right nipple into his mouth while playing with the left one. he started to suck gently at first but your sweet whimpers and the way you rubbed your thighs made him increase his pace.

his plump lips moved on your torso, giving pecks here and there until he reached your shorts. he made eye contact with you while stripping your bottom half. the eye contact made you even wetter and you got embarrassed by that so you broke the eye contact.

“baby, look at me,” he demanded with a low voice. you gave up and stared at him again.

“there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, yeah? i just wanted you to be flustered,” he smirked then spread your thighs apart and gazed at your wet core.

“all this for me? i appreciate it so much.” he teased before continuing to give pecks to your clit. you gasped and arched your back due to the sensation. after continuing to tease you for a little bit, he shoved his tongue inside your needy hole.

you let out a whimper then held on to his brown hair, pulling him closer to your pussy. you’re gasping every second when more of his tongue slips in and out of your pussy, sliding a bit more each time and it makes your thighs shake and walls clench. and his beard pricking wasn’t helping any either. the area of his nose was already covered in your slick. he sure didn’t mind, though.

his thumb started to draw small sloppy circles. pressing down on your puffy clit while his tongue continues flicking inside in and out of you. it didn’t take too long for him to find your favorite sweet spot.

“johnny!” you managed to moan out his name as you basically started to ride his face. he hummed in amusement while increasing the pace of his thumb.

“i’m gonna cum— oh!” it was getting too much for you. your grip on his hair tightened as you let your body relax, letting all the tension leave your body.

he groaned at the taste of your cum. wiping every last drop with his tongue. wanting to taste everything you just gave him. after a couple of seconds he pulled his tongue out and panted loudly. his gaze turned to yours. he crawled on top of you while licking his lips before connecting your lips once again. making you taste yourself on his lips and taking your breath away once again.

it felt so hot when he was kissing you like there was no tomorrow while exploring your torso with his calloused hands. he entered his tongue inside your mouth. tongues swirling around in perfect sync.

you rubbed your thighs around his torso, signing him to give you more. he broke the kiss and stared at you with his big brown eyes, asking for permission. you smiled and gave him a peck before nodding. he intertwined your hands, one finger caressing your ring while he slowly entered you while making eye contact.

you both moaned quietly at the sensation. he stayed still until you told him to start to move. you wrapped your arms around his neck, meanwhile, he was pampering you with multiple kisses to ease your pain.

“you can move, johnny.” you declared by patting his neck twice. he kissed the top of your head before sinking deeper inside of you, inch by inch. you hissed and squeezed his hand. finally, he bottomed out inside you and started to move in and out of you.

he groans at how your tight, velvety walls are clenching and around stretching his hard shaft.

“you’re doing so good for me, sweetheart.” he breathed out while increasing his pace. you whined in response and threw your head back.

he lifts your legs, putting them on top of his shoulders and his back. the new position gave him access to fuck you harder. he grinds his hips roughly against you, the lewd noises of your sloppy cunt and your blissful face made his dick grow even more.

the heat between your bodies was too much. but when he finally found your sweet spot all of these didn’t matter, you wanted to receive all the love and pressure he was giving to you and chase your high. you gasped with mouth agape, pulling his face close to your neck.

“oh, johnny!” you cried out as you began to match his thrusts. you knew it wasn’t gonna take long for your upcoming release. he sensed it and rutted you repeatedly.

“wanna cum? go ahead, sweet girl. let it out for me once again.” he demanded with his low, husky voice. your toes curl, as you cum hard around his cock, walls squeezing and shuddering around him.

your cunt continued to pulse around his dick but his thrusts didn’t stop. however, your previous orgasm and movement of your walls increased his desire to cum. it was your turn to make him cum. so you whispered inside his ear. “c’mon johnny, cum deep inside me and give me your babies tonight.”

he lost it when those words left your mouth. he groaned and tightened his grip around you while you trapped his torso with your legs, pressing them around his back harder. thick ropes of cum entered inside your walls, painting your insides white. he trusted a couple of times to fuck his seed deeper into you.

he laid on top of you without putting his whole weight on you. both of you were trying to catch your breath. after a couple of seconds, he slightly raised, still not pulling out his cock.

“are you alright? do you want anything? water, towel, shower?”

you smiled shook your head as ‘no’ and pulled his face back to your presence. “i just wanna lay down with you. and then,” you stopped and whispered into his ear. “wanna ride you like there’s no tomorrow.”

he smirked. “oh, darling. i’m all yours tonight.”

[georgieluz]

oh ok then.! what about pairing your mutuals with band of brothers but as a couple.? ex: mutual x band of brother character.? with who your mutuals would be good with.?

ohhh wait sorry my brain is all over the place today. you said matchmake them with my mutuals, not cast them as. my bad! i shall provide the goods! i'll matchmake like my life depends on it!

(disclaimer: if you're aroace and i was unaware and paired you with someone consider it platonic! bc platonic pairings are just as important when it comes to vibes)

dick winters → @merriell-allesandro-shelton i think he'd be good for you! he'd be very calming and would bring a sense of stability amongst the chaos of life. i also think you'd be able to appreciate his dry sense of humour and he'd feel more at home and at ease bc of that.

lewis nixon → this was the hardest one and there were both too many choices and too little choices. there are a few people that would be obvious picks and way too predictable so i'm giving myself a challenge and i'm gonna pair all the nix stans with other characters :)

harry welsh → can i choose myself? come on, i'm literally your resident harry welsh stan!! no? ok, fine, @iceman-kazansky then! bc you're a fellow harry welsh appreciator and i trust you to dote on that man as much as i do!

carwood lipton → @theflyingfin bc you deserve the amount of love he would give! and i do think you would work well together. he'd appreciate your depth and willingness to express your emotions and just yeah, i'm speaking it into the ether

ron speirs → @hellofanidea. no i will not elaborate. ok i'm kidding i will slightly elaborate. this is one of those "push two people together bc you're curious about what would happen" so i am pushing you two together on account of a hunch that the result would be intriguing

bill guarnere → @cody-helix02 hello bud, you're getting guarnere bc i think you've got the perfect mix of chaos and lowkey softness that would work perfectly with him! y'know, you'd laugh a lot together but you could also ground each other, and i just think you'd have a very charming time together.

joe liebgott → @lamialamia bc i think your personalities would match pretty well. you both say what you think and what's on your mind so i think you'd both appreciate that openness and it would make communication a lot easier. i think your sense of humour would match well with his as well. yeah. i support it!

johnny martin → @cchickki you wouldn't be intimated by his grouchiness and i think it would be a fun match!

joe toye → @blood-mocha-latte. you'd give him the love and appreciation he deserves! i like the balance of how aesthetic you are and how abrupt he can seem on the outside? it makes sense in my head i swear!

eugene roe → @footprintsinthesxnd. i know you've been in a dick obsessed phase lately but you'll always be for gene in my eyes! otp for the ages!!!

george luz → @deadhoodwalking just vibes y'know

david webster → @starlordsatellite a good match up and i think you'd bring the fun out in him too??

babe heffron → @teabights do i feel like you'd make each other more chaotic? yes i do. do i support it with my whole chest? YES I DO

skip muck → @ep6bastogne i know i chose him for you in the cast your mutuals one but i think part of that was just from how well i think your vibes match? idk like i just think you'd have the best dates. y'know that couple that are really fun to hang out with in a group? yeah. that's you guys. fuck it, i ship it.

floyd talbert → me? sorry ok i swear i'll shut up. he's just so fucking pretty. ok back to business.. @hxad-ovxr-hxart don't question my methods the universe is telling me this is the right choice

alton more → @blvestxr (it would feel absolutely criminal to choose anyone else at this point but also you understand him and that's all he could ask for in a partner really.. someone who can see past the surface level stuff.. so yeah, 10/10 pairing)

shifty powers → @mads-weasley for some reason this just makes sense and popped into my head instantly?

chuck grant → @jump-wings. i feel like your aesthetics AND personalities just match nicely? does that make sense? it does to me so i say that's reason enough!

don malarkey → @lewis-winters bc you'd either balance each other out or it'd be a "fix him? i'm gonna make him worse" kinda situation that i'd be down to see unfold

this was a mess i'm sorry

i tried ok

don't fight me

you're stuck with them now

forever :)

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Sin City

Y/N, the manager of America’s worst behaved band of celebrity misfits, babysit accompany them on a trip to remember.

Johnny Knoxville X Gn!reader

2.3k Words

(Fluff)

Warnings: Very suggestive content, crude language, drug use, alcohol, urine, flirting, bar fights, nudity (it’s Jackass)

An: Thank you for all the love on my last fic!!! I had SO MUCH FUN with this one and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!!

You spent the whole taxi ride to the hotel agonizing- but when didn’t you before a job? MTV sent you along to babysit the worst behaved man-children in entertainment leading up to some live event thing, and you knew nothing good could come of this. Of course, these routine concerns were exacerbated by the nature of where it would be held- the bad behavior capital of the U.S.- Las Vegas.

As you squinted out the taxi window for the hotel they were put up at, you couldn’t help but get transfixed by everything. It wasn’t every day you got to see this kind of stuff. The ornate, hulking buildings, the multicolored blinking neon, the drunk guy getting thrown out of the strip club-

“Ughhh…” Youe head thumped against the glass. Why now? Rummaging in you pocket, you threw a handful of dollars at the driver and threw open the door, dashing through thankfully stalled traffic. From the neon bathed sidewalk, Bam didn’t even notice you until he was praticlly staring at your shoes as you leaned down, trying to help him up. His head whipped up, looking at you, confused, “Y/N…?”

Drunkenly mumbling and completely ignoring your attempts to help him, Bam practically climbed you as he made his way to his feet. His forehead and cheekbone were badly scratched up and dripping from the rough concrete. “Ahahaha!! Oh my god- dude!” Just as he was booted out, Ryan stumbled after him, laughing like this was the funniest thing he’d seen. Bam, still holding onto you like Gene Kelly to a light post, gave Ryan an admittedly wimpy shove, swaying, “Shut up…Y’fuckin asshole…”

Coming up behind you, you heard a recognizable, raspy yell. “Aaah!” Steve grinned as he nimbly darted out of the swinging doors, ducking arround you as Pontius followed, hot on his heels like some kind of circus act. Chris laughed as he gave chase, “Ooh~!” He spoke in a sing-songy high pitched voice, holding back giggles, “Why don’t you come back and finish up that lap dance, big boy?” Even you couldn’t help laughing at the situation while you tried to diffuse it. “Okay, okay, this is fun, but-“

“But…?” Johnny leaned over you, surprising you with how quietly he slank out amidst the chaos, making you jump a little. He grinned and leaned over to you, speaking in a low, beer scented drawl, “Aww c’mon, Y/N…can’t we just have a little fun?” Sighing, you rolled your eyes, “You have a live show in an hour- you should already be at the hotel by now! Why- did you go to a strip club anyway?”

“We’re in Vegas. We’re gonna go to the strip club!” Bam, rather matter of factly said. “Plus, Steve knows some of the ladies here!” God, if any of them would know strippers, it would be Steve. He reached over to high five Bam, “Yeah! Discounts!” Rolling your eyes at them, you continued, “Whatver, let’s just get you to the hotel.”

Of course, amongst the groans you did have to convince them using a bit of a bargaining token- a trip to the hotel bar. Of all the places they could be, that was probably the best- a relatively safe environment for the level of carousing these guys were accustomed to.

“So, what’re you planning on doing at the show anyway?” You sipped your drink, idly chatting with Johnny. While you were usually on your toes, you felt relaxed enough to take your eyes off of them for a minute, and when he invited you to have a drink- of course, you weren't one to turn that down. He chuckled, “Well, there’ll be some of the usual- staplers, ‘bustin cans of beer on our heads…” He trailed off.

Maybe a couple feet behind you at the pool table, Chris was talking to some stranger, and you could tell things were getting heated. Knowing him, they were probably disagreeing over something stupid like which Charlie’s Angel was the hottest, so you didn’t pay too much mind as you went back to scanning the establishment. Taking a sip of your drink, you started again, “Really? That’s it?” Your eyes drifted from the sticky countertop to the yellowing 70s lights that hung from the low ceilings and back to the stained, green felt pool table. “Well,” Johnny took a sip of his beer, “There is this- this one thing-

The pool cue that was splintered behind you might as well have been six inches from your head with the absolute sound it made. “Listen, motherfucker!” A familiar raspy voice spat. Even Pontius was surprised at how quickly he snapped. There was Steve, wielding a pool cue with this giant-pupiled, crazed look in his eyes and standing in the kind of stance you only see in bad martial arts movies. The poor guy on the other end was backed against the table, probably scared out of his mind. It was like the whole world stopped for a second. “Steve, Steve! Buddy.” You froze, not even thinking about Johnny until he took over the situation, speaking up in a low yet authoritative tone, “Let’s just…chill out, okay?

And just like that, Steve grinned, laughing as he lowered the pool cue like it was the funniest thing ever. You sighed in relief, not sure if you could’ve diffused that on your own without getting a cue through your trachea. Johnny threw an arm around him like nothing happened, “Okay buddy, How about I buy you a drink?” Steve cheered to that as your Nokia vibrated in your pocket and you flipped it open.

“Y/N. Cabs are out front.” That’s all your manager said before she hung up on you. Shit. “Okay, okay guys! Cabs are here, let’s go!” You went around, rounding everyone up- like hearing cats. Eventually, you got them all stuffed into the cars like sardines and peeled off towards the venue.

You surveyed the crowd from your place in the wings, leaning against a wall that hadn’t been cleaned in at least 50 years. Watching the buzzing crowd file in and seeing the camera people set up their equipment, you couldn’t help but get excited. In 10 minutes, the cameras would start rolling, and all of America would be present for the insanity that you had to live with, right from within this shitty little club.

Out of the blue, but quite faintly at first, you heard a familiar, electronic rhythm coming from just behind the stage, gradually getting louder. “You know, I feel like partying right now!” You weren’t sure whether or not to be upset, as for all you knew this wasn’t planned, but you weren’t complaining as Pontius paraded out. You had no clue where he got the tracksuit (nor the silver space-blanket thong), but as he danced around, unzipping the jacket and stumbling out of the pants, you had to give it to him- he could get a reaction from the audience. Applause and whoops thundered through the venue, and even though you really should’ve stopped it, even you found yourself grinning.

Johnny caught up to you from backstage, nearly on top of you from how tight the corridors were. He leaned over your shoulder, squinting for a better look, whispering exasperatedly, “What- what is he doing?” You shrugged, “Beats me.” Doing a double take, you remembered your job, “What’re you doing- get out there!”

Mentally preparing himself, Johnny ran out onto the stage, grinning, speaking into the mic, “Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass Live!!” At this point, Pontius had tired of the dancing and had now progressed to full on grinding against Johnny’s side as he cackled, trying to keep it together, “This- uh, this handsome devil right here is Chris Pontius!” More laughter and applause ensued as he playfully shoved him away, but to no avail.

Then came the eternal showman, Steve-O. Even more than Pontius, he could get the audience riled up as he seemingly did every little thing with bravado. Johnny spoke with fondness after he did one of his favorite tricks, in which he dropped his cargo shorts, tucked his junk between his legs, and completed a full backflip, landing with his hands in the air. Johnny patted him on teh shoulder like a proud father, “And here we have the very talented Mr. Steve-O!” Pontius, who was still humping Johnny like an excited dog, was pulled off by Steve…visibly excited. Even you couldn’t help yourself from giggling as he just owned that tent in his silver mankini.

Without any cue, Ryan came up from behind you, squeezing past you and nearly topping you over just in time for Bam to throw down his skateboard on the opposite side of the stage with a clunk, hopping on and moving in your direction. He threw a punch at Steve’s crotch (prompting Johnny to cover his) and slugged Ryan square in the eye, inadvertently plowing him over, and by extension you. As you were tackled to the ground, crushed under a pile of giddy dudes, cheers echoed in the house. With how excited everyone was, you couldn’t be that mad. Even Johnny was a little surprised, chucking, “That- that was Dunn and Bam, everyone!”

But after the show was over, and all you were thinking about was getting back to your room. Sticky, sweaty, tired- all you wanted was to shower off all the…fluids and go to bed. Luckily, all the guys had gone off to their rooms of their own accord, so at least they could act like actual adults in that regard. Reaching your room, you jimmied the key to your door into the hole…only to find that it didn’t go in. Rattling the lock for a few moments, you gave up, your arms exhaustedly dropping to your sides as your forehead hit the door. Maybe you could just sleep in the hall. But with a clunk of the turning lock, the door gave way, and you stumbled a few feet into the room, looking up to see a tall, blonde man in front of you.

You spat, “What are you doing in my room?” Ryan chuckled as you confusedly peered around him, acting like he had no idea what you were talking about. “What do you mean? This is our room.” Rubbing your temples, you explained, “No, it isn’t- my suitcase is right ther-“

Eyes going wide, you stared in shock at the only bed in the room. There was Bam, posed like he was mid snow angel on top of the bedspread wearing the shirt he wore to the show and…nothing. Just watching TV, Winnie the Poohing it. Ryan caught on to your surprise, finding you reaction entertaining, “What? I mean, if you really think it’s your room, we can…” Catching yourself staring, you whipped your head away from the blinding man skin, whisper-yelling, “Is- does he just do this?! Is this normal?” He nodded. Wow. You had to give it to them- if anything, they were close. You really had to think to yourself- would you sleep on that bed?

“You know what? I think I’m good- you guys can stay here.” Ryan nodded and closed the door. Assholes. You did have to give them some credit, it was a pretty genius plan. Bam’s sticky fingers probably didn’t help in getting the key, and they were probably still pissed at you commandeering their strip club fun. Assholes.

Walking the halls, you knew you needed somewhere else to crash. Maybe Chris’? Know his propensities toward tossing off, you’d surely leave that room smelling like bleach in the morning, so that was a no. Johnny? No. He left for ‘one more beer’ about an hour ago- more like six or seven more beers. Lost in thought and the peeling beige wallpaper, you didn’t realize what was at your feet until you accidentally kicked it.

Well, you didn’t recognise it until it groaned, rubbing its head and turning around. Looking down, you saw Johnny’s bare muscular frame pressed against the floorboards, prone on the scratchy carpet. Your jaw dropped and you gasped, whispering, “Oh my god- Knoxville?” He looked up at you, eyes half open and clearly plastered. “Y/N…? What’re you ‘doin in m’room…?” You wanted to ask Johnny why he was laying down in the hallway, or why he was only wearing his boxers- or more importantly, why in god’s name had he pissed himself.

“This isn’t your room, Johnny. This is the hallway.” Kneeling down to his level, you tried to nicely reason with him, as futile as it may be (and as much as you wanted to ignore him), “Y’didn’t answer’m fuckin question.” Well, it was worth a shot. You knew you couldn’t lift him up, or at the very least, he wouldn’t let you. But you had to admit, under the yellowing hotel lights, with how he rested his head on a muscular forearm and how toned his back was, he looked kind of handsome from that angle. Sighing, you decided to appeal to him and his irrationality, “Dunn and Bam stole my room key- I have nowhere to sleep.”

It was like the drunken animosity disappeared in a second, as Johnny’s expression changed to a more relaxed one. “Oh…‘Cmere.” He gestured with one arm. You laughed, a little nervous about the dark spot on the carpet next to him, “No way! You pissed yourself!” Almost like he didn’t know already, Johnny looked down, then back up at you, “No I didn’t. That’s all Steve-O there- that’s not me.” That almost made it worse, but you had stopped questioning the things these men did a long time ago. Johnny groaned, “Go’t sleep. M’tired.” Grabbing your forearm, he gently tugged you closer to the ground until, with some resistance, you relaxed next to him and he fell right back to sleep, almost on top of you. Underneath his heavy arms, you felt surprisingly comfortable. It was kinda sweet, in the way only these guys could be.

[alijwriting]

Broken Britain

Here comes junky Johnny

He’s come to score

He’s brother said their mums a whore

He drives around a broke old van

He’s mother lives in a caravan

Their kids are wretched

He’s wife is blue

He’s eldest son is on the glue

He lost his job years ago

The drinking problem did ever grow

Two bottles of whiskey to pass the day

He’s poor old wife would always pay

It’s grim round here lass

You should make a move

Folks round here got things to prove

There’s gobby Debbie at 73

And her old man with the dodgy knee

The fight each night like cat and dog

The police come round on the dot

Come on you two call it a day

Some of us have bills to pay

The council house is damp and poor

Not a stitch of carpet on the floor

You wouldn’t choose it ..the life of despair

But it will get you if you don’t care

Learn your sums now

Go to school

So your be no bodies fool

It’s no good though

The genes are bad

You’re do nothing worthwhile with that lad

He’s fit for nothing

His parents poor

If you see him coming best bolt the door

He’ll steel your purse

Right out ya bag

And use your change to buy some fags

His sister sarah

Didn’t take the pill

She had a baby

But the babies illl

Or that’s what the neighbours thought

But the babies mum was up in court

Well try again sarah said

As she wearily laid on the bed

Her tummy rumbled her tears they flowed

How will her baby grow

Tomorrow’s another day

But to leave this place she’ll have to pray

Nothings good here ..days are hard

Maybe she’ll buy a scratch card

dream of money and feeling well

Instead of this god dam hell

Not a winner not this time

Oh well it’s another night of crime

When will it get better on this estate

Some bastards smashed her garden gate

No one gives a shit round here

She wishes she could disappear

She’s had enough now

She’s need a break

Get her out of here for fucks sake!

She never stood a chance

Poor sarah

She was brought up by a carer

Her mum left years before

Sarah heard her shut the door

In the cold and dark she stood

Alone and frightened but understood

Her mum had run to get away

She couldn’t do another day

The depravity it gets in the bones

And eats away in silent moans

If you do not leave this hell

That’ll be your life as well

Come on kids there’s gangs to run

At eleven you can have a gun

It’s easy money selling gear

It’ll make your problems disappear

It’s bad round here

Just like they said

Any aspirations put to bed

Get that bullshit out ya head

And get your arse upstairs to bed

There’s no hope for boys like you

For there’s fuck all to do

Wishing is pointless and dreaming’s mad

You’re always end up like your Dad

Ali J 💙 (copywriter)

[rorystormandthehurricanes]

Rory Storm and Johnny Guitar, possibly 1961 in Butlins

“Rory Storm was far more show than substance. He learnt his tricks from watching Elvis Presley and Gene Vincent. He had little originality but was a very good copycat. He would cock his leg over the mike like Gene Vincent and cover his songs like ‘Rocky Road Blues’. I will never forget him knocking the Reslo mike over at Holyoake: his foot hit the mike, which was the only one we had. I thought, ‘Oh god, I hope he hasn’t ruined it’, and, fortunately, he hadn’t. I told him that he must never do that when we are down to one mike. If you glanced at some of the early photographs of Rory Storm doing tricks with his mike stand, you might think it was a young Rod Stewart.” - Bob Wooler

[sunnysombrero]

HE FULLY EMBRACED HIS ITALIAN GENES TODAY AND IVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER HE LOOKS SO SO GOOD OMG LIKE HOLY FUCK🥵🥵🥵 he looks so so hot being an Italian king

RIGHTTT OH MY GOD I WAS GIGGLING IN THE MIDDLE OF WALMART. i could NOT believe it. they all ate that up. call it unrealistic wishes but johnny goal tonight?? 🕯️🕯️

[simmingnate]

Don is fully embracing his role as Daddy, and not in the 'you've been a baaad little girl and Daddy needs to give you a spank' kind of way that he's normally used to. No, this is REAL parenting - and he loves it! Even when Guyee shows his true Peppers genes and throws a tantrum.

Don's attentive daddying has got Guyee learning all sorts of useful skills - such as lifting that big ol' head of his.

As the Pepperlets were lucky they had Johnny, Guyee is lucky he has Don - otherwise it's likely none of Beverlee's children would even know how to walk.

But while Don's attention is all on Guyee, and Beverlee's is all on Beverlee, the Pepperlets are still managing to thrive in their own special ways.

Daphnee and Destinee are closer than ever, and Davee had found a new skill - fishing! He can't wait to teach his GOOD FRIEND Kirk!

But while some things have changed, others have stayed the same! Bev and Don are still WILD about each other - at least, they are in the bedroom.

Even without Lovestruck or Wicked Whims, these two manage to keep things 🔥HOT🔥 and each other 🔥SATISFIED🔥

Davee mostly uses their treasured desktop computer for research and looking at universities he wishes he could afford to go to, but he also spends a decent amount of time IMing with his GOOD FRIEND Kirk Landgraab!

Oh, Kirk, you always know the perfect funny cat video to send! 😸

But Davee isn't the only Pepperlet invested in Kirk… Daphnee can't help but feel jealous of the attention he gives her brother! Can't he see how hot she is?!

Fortunately, she always has another boy on hand, and takes out her frustration by flirting with sexy alt-boy Keaton 😏

(This is Keaton btw, just in case you forgot)

[brahkest-fr]

do you have any tips on making fandragons? yours are really good in a way i cant quite quantify

oh why thank you! I love my dumb fandergs so much kldjkldd

I'm not sure if I have tips per se, but I can explain how my thought process works when I do make fandergs so maybe that can be helpful 👀

when it comes to making them, the way I do it is first deciding what breed to make em. I consider what details I want to bring out of the fandom character so for example, I made my Johnny Bravo dragon a pearlcatcher cuz I wanted the dragon to have hair but not so much like a tundra. I also had an outfit in mind (to match Johnny's t shirt and jeans) so that ruled out ancients since you can't dress em and I didn't feel like making a skin lol.

and behold: a man™. when I drew him, I thought it'd be funny to actually match the style of the show so he's all angular and disproportionate. I only included features that I wanted from the pearlcatcher like the horn, ears, and tail and tbh he looks like a rhino lol but I decided stuff like the hair tufts on the face and limbs was too much for my taste.

same thing went for my Samurai Jack dragon. however, this guy's actual dragon sprite is a lot more complex just cuz I felt like making him fancy and giving him armor.

but when I drew him, he's just very much like Jack in the show, including the style. and I'm not saying fandergs have to match the style of whatever, I just think it's a fun nod. you can also notice here I didn't draw the smoke gene on him. that's just a personal decision I wanted to keep only on the sprite, in reference to Japanese ink paintings.

my design philosophy in general is "how would x person look like if they were a dragon." but if it's like an animal/creature fanderg (like for example my bazelgeuse derg from monster hunter) then I just kinda combine both elements together.

so for Tasha here, laced and edged look like chonky scales which for me was close enough to the egg-like scales of bazel and I got a skin for the fire theming. no clothes cuz I didn't wanna cover up the skin so sometimes I don't even dress em up if I prefer seeing their bodies.

when I drew her, you can see the combined bits of both the monster and wildclaw - bazel's wings, the chonk claws, egg scales, facial features - wc tail feathers, the multigaze, feather hair. there's a lot of "use your imagination" in my designs so like, I don't usually take things at immediate face value. so some people might see laced/edged as just flat scales or maybe even feathers but my brain went oh those are fat fuck egg bombs kjldfkldkl.

sometimes my fandergs are just inspired from colors like Baja who's a taco bell fan dragon lol. I saw this hat and was like yeah I can do something with that. another example of a derg I didn't really dress cuz I wanna see the baja blast™ capsule. Baja would prolly be one of the more thematically standard flight rising dergs of my fandom ones cuz she's just a spiral without anything fancy pancy going on like the previous ones.

and sometimes it's just fun to make things kinda funky. for my Jacket fanderg, I was like, what if the chicken mask was literally a part of him and badabing it worked out really well with scales. his other colors are like red and white cuz I wanted a sort of basic bitch rooster color scheme. most of the fandom bits come from the skin I made him so he's a bit more involved on the artsy side of things. the art of him afterwards became a literal interpretation of the sprite.

I have a lot more fandergs of course but that's more or less my thought process on designing them! I don't usually have any sort of standard for designs, it really ends up being how much I feel like putting in and how much do I directly want to interpret from a fandom source. sometimes it's very literal and other times it's like a lil nod or so. tbh, you can really make a fanderg out of anything since what you wanna see is entirely up to you. I personally think it's pretty fun to see how close I can get with just what the site has to offer.

I have two more fandergs I'm actually working on rn and am very excited to share when I get to it hohohehe

[thenightling]

Wonka review Warning: This review contains spoilers.

I just got done watching the new 2023 Wonka movie and... It's good. Not the best film ever but the ending is fantastic. And the ending really sold me. It's sweet. It's a musical. And it has the whimsy Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them *should* have had. First, the superficial. Visually it's gorgeous. And I absolutely love his velvet frockcoat. And the finale, when they recreate the chocolate room of Gene Wilder's Wonka but using modern technology... Oh, my God, that put the Johnny Depp / Tim Burton version to shame! This is set at the start of Willy Wonka's career. And it's clearly Gene Wilder's Wonka. He has that manic personality. Also he has the orange faced, green haired Oompa Loompas. And his business rival is Slugworth, who only exists in the Gene Wilder version of the story. Also you see a gorgeous re-creation of Gene Wilder's Wonka's Chocolate room at the end. At the start of the story Wonka gets taken in by what I can only describe as the Thenardiers from Les Miserables who trick him into signing a contract with tiny print resulting in an indefinite indentured servitude. (Don't worry, he gets out of it by the end but it's an annoyingly drawn out thing in the story). At the start of the story Wonka is a illiterate. He was so busy teaching himself about making chocolate that he forgot to teach himself to read. And a little bookworm girl called Noodle teaches him how to read. In general this is actually very creative and original story for a prequel to an existing property. It is very refreshing to hear original songs again, and not a remake. I even teared up when they did the backstory about Wonka's mother even though I could tell from the trailers she had passed away. A lot of it was quite predictable but that's okay. It was the predictable, familiarity, of ... well, a Dahl children's book. Even the gradual fate of the corrupt chief of police felt right out of something Roald Dahl would have written. I was surprised at how sweet it was. It has some cliches and borrows elements from other musicals but it's configured in a new way and Wonka, the character, is written really well. Clever, whimsical, sneaky, and sweet. If you go to see it, be sure to stay through the end credits. There's a little bit of an epilogue where "Lofty" tells us what became of the story's antagonists. This was a decent movie. It's not as good as Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory but it was good in its own way. In fact this felt like it was originally meant to be a Broadway musical but someone decided to make it into a movie instead. This was the first good family film I'd seen all year. I hope it gets nominated for best original song for at least one of the new songs. It's better than anything Disney's done lately. It's also nice to see a musical that isn't just a remake with a shoe horned new song added.

Yes, pure imagination is in the movie but not until near the end. It's a good, sweet movie. Not perfect but good. And the ending is what really made it for me, when I saw that recreate of Gene Wilder's Chocolate room while Pure Imagination was being sung, that's when the nostalgia hit hard. This has potential to be a well-remembered movie. I think my mother would have liked it. She liked all versions of Willy Wonka. I wish she could have seen this. My only complaint about the new Wonka movie is I think "Lofty" the Oompa Loompa should have had more screen time. He only had what felt like three scenes. A lot of creativity and heart went into this script and you can tell it was written by a fan of the original film and Dahl. Despite the cliches there were some great original ideas. I liked it very much.