#‘like a dog’ is also a lil bit of a weird song…. it kinda. it fits other characters as well as somnix.

[pepperpixel]

2 more aberration odium character playlists!!!! Finally!!!!! This time for Tetack and Somnix! Two angsty trolls struggling to be true to themselves and each other, while under the pressure of forces beyond their understanding..

“Lemon Boy” - Tetack Whyoul’s Playlist

“Like A Dog” - Somnix Avyurn’s Playlist

Just like with all the other playlists these 2 have songs that are in both of them! … considerably more this time then there were on the other mixes.. the songs shared in these 2 are generally indicative of when both Tetack and Somnix are feeling the same thing about there relationship!

You might have noticed there’s also more songs in general in these mixes!!! That’s cuz… I had a lot of songs for Somnix and Tetack ghghgh- idk man! turns out a lot of songs fit w edgy relationship drama and being seduced by dark and terrible forces!!! Idk what to tell u!!

Once again the mixes are in chronological order! The songs progress in the same way the characters progress! Most of these I feel like. Paint a pretty clear picture? Like. Obviously we haven’t told you exactly what happens w these two yet but you can get the vibes here! The edgy edgy angsty vibes…. But! Neither of them end edgy and angsty! They sort themselves out eventually! That’s what matters lol

[keis-slut]

PINES TWINS HEADCANONS

|

in honor of their birthday (8/31), some headcanons of 25 year old dipper and mabel!

also bc i binge watched the show again-

includes what they’re up to, relations, interests, stuff they do in their free time, etc.

+ short 5 song playlist of their taste at the end

(will be songs from recent years since it’s now, as in this second, of their interests. i’d be happy to do a full playlist if requested!)

|

DIPPER

-stayed in touch with stan and ford all these years, he’s very close to them. they’re still around but much older and calmer

-so, yes, he’s covered in tats. yk that fanart we allllll have seen? yea they pretty much look like that, some weird ones, he rlly likes patchwork style tattoos

-probably has one on his chest or stomach/lower pelvis tbh, he’s a quirky dude

-mabel probably dared him to do something like that because she thought he’d chicken out from the pain but he did it

-him and mabel have matching tattoos that was dippers idea, dipper has a pine tree on his ankle and mabel has the shooting star on hers

-his pain tolerance is definitely pretty high given all the stuff he’s been through

-he decided to grow his hair a bit longer because he likes it that way. he enjoys being able to put it into a messy half up lil bun

-as for shaving his face, he likes to be clean. as much as he was excited about chest hair or whatever, once there started to be more hair coming in, he got tired of it and started keeping clean. maybe some stubble on his face once in a while if he’s lazy

-he has rosacea he mistakenly took for acne when he was growing into his teens, so he just naturally has a reddened face, probably from all the stress. aside from it being a medical condition, it’s rather cute

-he’s also in the sun a lot in california, so that’s what caused that and his darkening freckles.

-he’s good with his skin though, he likes to just keep himself clean, that’s it.

-he also wears chapstick, but only the cherry flavor from the chapstick brand.

-likes jewelry so he wears a bunch of different necklaces and bracelets and rings. he changes his necklace like every week, it’s always some kinda rock in wire or dog tag. also pierced his ears so he wears small studs or smthn

-ahem he has his tongue pierced ahem

-wears a lot of plain clothes or band t-shirts. he’s got like a weird grunge/hippie mix to his style, like converse and band tshirts with like a bandanna and all his jewelry

-still wears hats, he likes beanies too

-he consumes a lot of media, he loves cartoons but will watch the occasional greys anatomy episode

-he loves video games, such a nintendo sucker like mario, sonic, zelda, smash

-his fav series is the legend of zelda im not biased shut up

-he also got into anime more, this happened a bit after he left the summer of 2012. you can blame soos for recommending he tries it out, and he did

-i feel like his favorites would be like soul eater, jujutsu kaisen, or death note

-cat person cat person cat person

-owns like 3 cats

-orange tabby he named corduroy, grey tabby named tyrone (calls him ty), and a black one he named august, for him and his sisters birth month.

-she helped him decide the name, they got him together so technically it’s both of their cat but mabel still has waddles (and a guinea pig but this isn’t mabels headcannons)

-he decided against going to college but instead has his own interactive websites for people interested in the weird and crazy supernatural, this all started from a blog he created himself about the weird things he’s researched.

-he’s thought about studying computer science, or becoming a teacher for philosophy or even psychology, something like that, but he now thinks college will get in the way of his personal research, so he finds things off of that

-he does a lot of his own research on these things anyway because he’s still interested in it

-for an actual job to make a steady income he’s been working at an amazon warehouse for a couple of years

-dabbled in smoking weed but it’s not for him, he’s too paranoid

-he has a lot of friends but most of them are online

-you thought the awkwardness was just part of the preteens phase, well it wasn’t

-he’s still pretty awkward but i guess some girls find that more attractive as you get older and not gross

-also i think dipper is straight, but he’s still pretty flamboyant.

-he’s definitely tested the theory of him being not straight though, that’s all imma say

-he’s better at talking to girls, especially now that he knows what he really wants to do and who he is, the confidence in himself was the key

-sometimes he’s shy, but doesn’t have a problem smiling or saying hi or complimenting someone

-he’s had a couple of relationships, done a handful of things and tried stuff out, but he still hasn’t found the one

-he’s the kinda guy that needs to find someone who’s ok with him being very private and independent sometimes, and he finds that hard

-as much as he can be distant, he still wants a long term partner eventually

-he also does know he has a lot of his own issues to figure out to do that, because he knows he can get distant, and so he has traumas to work out and he’s aware of that

-at heart, he is very much so a lover boy though

-his top love language from the 5 would be acts of service. he may get distant and stuff but he still thinks about you a lot and what you need or what you’re doing, like bringing you soup or tissues when you’re sick, switching your clean clothes to the dryer, simple stuff like picking up after you if you forget, or even teaching you new things he’s learned about because he likes to share that

-in order of the 1-5 from most to least, acts of service, gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch.

-just because it’s the last doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it, he just shows the others more.

-he’s perfectly fine with cuddling and kissing all day in bed on a lazy rainy day, all gloomy outside during a thunderstorm and you both are cozy in bed, nice and warm form body heat and in and out of sleep.

-he needs this very often he’s so stressed

-wears knee high socks to bed tho oops

-he’s doesn’t like wearing a shirt to bed that much though, but he does wear the socks

-always with shorts or boxers tho, he doesn’t like the feeling of pants over long socks, or pants under the covers anyway. not a fan of layers

-as much as he’s very into technology and being lazy or whatever, he does like to go outside a lot and hike, or casual walks

-he enjoys the feel of nature, and more so during the summer. summer is his favorite season for nostalgia reasons

-drives a subaru crosstrek. and he liked the camo green, ok?

-covered in magnets and stickers

-wants to get a motorcycle

-now that he drives, him and mabel make frequent trips to gravity falls whenever they can to see everyone, they all still stay in contact, and love seeing the twins.

—pinetrees pods

stick season - noah kahan

birds of a feather - billie eilish

baby i’m home - odetari

snakelike - whatsaheart

crush - ethel cain

|

MABEL

-also stayed in touch with stan and ford like dipper, they’re both close with them (stan and mabel are closer but they all love each other equally)

-i feel like she also would have tattoos but they’re kinda smaller and more floral and colorful, not huge and overbearing though

-not to be sad, but waddles doesn’t have much time left and so she got a little tattoo of a cute pig on her hip for memory of him

-she chose her right hip because that’s his favorite spot to snuggle on her when they sleep together or cuddle, he was always on that side

-she definitely kept like a girly hippie and y2k kinda style as she got older

-she keeps her hair long and always natural, she never really likes to blow it out or straighten it, but she loves doing different styles like braids or space buns, but usually just naturally down and wavy.

-likes hair clips and scrunchies, especially the ones with the cute designs and colors on it. like the hair clips that look like wings and have dangling jewels

-she did however have a little phase where she wanted to dye some of it, she did the front strands of her hair hot pink and purple before

-she really likes doing her makeup, all kinds of styles and colors. she’ll try eyeliner, face paint, glitter, lipstick colors, bright eyeshadows, everything

-she doesn’t overdo it, but always has some kind of color in her face, like a natural face but some blue or purple eyeshadow, something cool.

-has a small stud on her nose, but a lot more piercings on her ears.

-she never wanted anything crazy but she thinks more holes to put cute earrings in was a good idea

-she also enjoys tv, she loves movies more though. she likes cartoons but more enjoys shows like friends, or reality tv shows like the masked singer or love island

-she also enjoys video games, mostly because dipper introduced her to alot, zelda she likes because of him and she got into animal crossing too

-NEEDED pietro on her island or else she wouldn’t play.

-she bought her own switch because of this

-it has pink remotes and lots of stickers, obviously

-she also has a pc, she likes playing minecraft with candy and grenda. she isn’t very good at it tho so she plays with cheats LOL

-social media obsessed, she posts everything, especially on tiktok and instagram. she likes sharing, sharing is caring.

-her user would probably be like “sh00t1ngst4r31” or smthn from like 2016 pinterest username ideas but she doesn’t care too change it, she still thinks it’s cute

-pothead, it makes her feel funny and fuzzy and happy and stupid and…oh i’m hungry.

-so yea, she also has a guinea pig and she named her star, after her own alias as shooting star

-she likes to draw and she actually makes money off her art, like selling designs or stickers on redbubble, but also makes art of characters from games and stuff, or pretty nature designs

-shes in college for theatre and film, she would love to make movies or shows some day. she’s also interested in acting and singing a lot too

-there is a boy she likes in her class but she’s nervous to talk to him, after the whole boy crazy teen phase, she’s calmed down but become more nervous to talk to boys if she likes them, otherwise she’s extremely social.

-mabel isn’t straight guys. never was and never will be. she finds its much easier to talk to girls if it’s a crush.

-GOES TO DRAG SHOWS!

-she’s friends w all the queens, she gets behind the scenes of them changing and choosing their songs and outfits and their theme for sets !!!!

-she’s like adhd central, but yes she’s on medication for it.

-i also think she has a personality disorder of some sort, like bpd

-she has a tough time keeping relationships because of how wild and moody she can be as a person, it can get confusing and it’s hard, but her optimistic trait keeps this lovely girl going, she’s doing ok don’t worry.

-DRIVES A MODDED JEEP WRANGLER ITS PURPLE AND COVERED IN DUCKS

-also likes anime, she’s an ouran high school host club girly, but also the occasional demon slayer fan

-she loves my hero academia be fr

-she’s in love with ochaco

-wears big asf t-shirts to bed, panties and socks. it’s cozy

-collects stuffed animals, she loves emptying her wallet at arcades and only playing for stuffies. it’s not all for nothing though, she’s pretty good at what she does.

-big collector and still scrapbooks.

-she has shelves of manga and figures, also books of drawings and memories, and other random collectibles

-really likes sanrio

-she is in school and does have her own online business, but she does also dog sit and dog walk on the side

-i feel like she loves to cook and bake, she likes to try new things all the time

-she enjoys traveling too, she’s been to the east coast in the states like new york, vermont, and down to virginia and north carolina too

-also out of the country, she’s been to japan, and paris a couple times. she HAD to take a picture that made it look like she was holding a tiny eiffel tower before she dies cmon

-she loves fall, definitely a pumpkin spice girl

-prefers dunkin over starbucks, but will get the occasional cake pop from starbucks

-she’s still taller than dipper lol, i’d say she’s like 5’6 while he’s an inch shorter

-she wears glasses now, but prefers contacts. she only wears her glasses like at home or doing casual stuff if she doesn’t feel like putting her contacts in but for the most part she wears the contacts

-she loves taking trips with dipper back to gravity falls, she’s especially excited to see wendy again now that they can really relate more with girl things since mabel’s old enough to understand a lot more

-they take mabel’s jeep when driving to gravity falls, but switch out driving here and there.

-passenger gets aux, it’s their rule

—shooting stars symphony

girl, so confusing - charlie xcx

i love hollywood! - slayyyter

l’amour de ma vie, extended - billie eilish

ancient dreams in a modern land - marina

joyride - kesha

[rabdoidal]

tag game! 🎧🎶 tagged by @theocannibalism shuffle your music library and share the first 10 songs that come up.

Thanks bud! Shuffling my liked instead of my playlists for fairness ✌️

Waiting For The Weekend by San Cisco: a decent song! I liked it more in uni but it's certainly still musically pretty - it's a little trite to write a love song about drugs being personified, but San Cisco can make anything a sexy indie jam (7/10) Favourite line: And when she's standing right next to me / She's never quite as close as I'd like her to be

Your Dog by Soccer Mommy: a STELLAR song by a band truly so close to my heart - my fav combination in music is a clean voice and dirty bass. also this song also has a fucked up relationship dynamic and its. very Izzy Hands to me sorry (10/10) Favourite line: Forehead kisses break my knees / And leave me crawling back to you

Pulaski at Night by Andrew Bird: another top tier banger but also (shout out to artificial ghost radio listeners) this is my NBC hannigram song its so. like the classical instruments and delusional sweetness makes it feel like a candlelit waltz in a blood splattered suit (10/10) Favourite line: I write you a story / But it loses its thread / And all of my witnesses / Keep turning up, turning up dead

Paint It, Black by The Rolling Stones: truly wild that this is in my likes because its a great song but its like. I don't think I've ever intentionally listened to the rolling stones apart from this? anyway bangers only I always love how dramatic and goth it is (8/10) Favourite line: No more will my green sea / Go turn a deeper blue

Androgynous by The Replacements: this song honestly makes me tear up sometimes, even tho its purely joyful, because it makes me think about how its a song from the 80s that has more kindness and love for genderqueer people than most people do 40 years later. It makes me love being t4t (9/10) Favourite line: Now, something meets boy, and something meets girl / They both look the same / They're overjoyed in this world

Cinnamon Spider by Jack Off Jill: nothing wrong with an alt/goth song about revenge and guilt with weird voice modulated screaming and creepy whispering (7/10) Favourite line: Consumed by hate and guilt, she'll never retire / Too old to fix, too dead to ever acquire

Human Fly by The Cramps: I've been listening to a lot of rockabilly/oldhead goth rock recently and I'm loving the cramps! I've only really heard the big hits until recently, but Human Fly is definitely my stand-out favourite, I love songs that are kinda nasty and maggoty or more conceptual or goofy! It makes it stand out to me (10/10) Favourite line: And baby I won't care / 'Cuz baby I don't scare / 'Cuz I'm a reborn maggot using germ warfare

The Price Is Right Theme Song by Antarctigo Vespucci: I'm a little over listening to indie emo at the moment so I do frequently skip this when it comes on shuffle, but the lyricism is honestly heartbreaking (5/10) Favourite line: Oh my lord, I wish that I didn't know they'll still make TV shows long after I go.

Big Bird by AJJ: I have thoughts feelings comments and critiques of AJJ, but I can't deny that if you want to be in a dangerously bad mood it hits. it completely hits. and I think its interesting that they make songs about taboo intrusive thoughts and criticisms they have of the world, even if i dont always love the song they make in the end (6/10) Favourite line: So I bought a knife / I am a knife / I am a Knife Man

Arty Boy by Flight Facilities ft. Emma Louise: a real vibey party song about being inexplicably into the guy taking photos and smoking at the function instead of dancing - to me it reads as a little comphet, or a little bit bisexual, because the way Emma Louise is singing about the ladies is a lil sus (7/10) Favourite line: And all the girls must be models here, sipping up on margaritas / Twist their bodies so beautiful, making shapes with the music

idk who to tag but if you want an excuse to do this, go with my blessing and pretend I tagged you

[a-wins-a-win]

okie so ur guy finally got around to watching Bare : The Musical (mouse!! why?? because!! I love comparisons <3) and anyway. thought I’d document my thoughts

tldr; I think I would like Bare: The Musical as a standalone story, but as a Bare: A Pop Opera adaptation/re-interpretation I think it falls short in a lot of ways.

it gets a bit long so under the cut, if you wanna skip the dot points i summarise/reiterate down the bottom of the post

okay no but the photographic memory detail is kinda interesting. kinda sad in a lot of ways too if you think about it

the audio quality is Not It so forgive me if I don’t pass judgement on any of the songs

“Jason you act every day.” “I didn’t fool you <3” they’re cuties // they are SUCH goofballs here! they’re so dumb! teenageboycore if there ever was! I love them <3

it’s so WEIRD to hear a lot of these lines out of order / in a different context

ALSO the lack of singing during auditions is throwing me off

“Do you think your sister’s bi?” “…” “Bipolar?” I laughed—

Matty Patty babey boy!!! he’s so… he’s so something. idk if I like it yet. im very used to introvertedly anxious Matt but this Matt is such a lil cutie

WHOAH OK Portrait Of A Girl is way early

but I think I like a lot of the lyrics - “You don’t have a clue / what she is doing with you / what she is doing to you.”

actually no this is a crazy interesting take on Matt & Ivy and I’m OBSESSED with the way we get to see Ivy’s actual introspection on it in this context

ohhh okay. so it’s That kind of basketball team situation for Jason (+ Peter !! goddamn they really hate that kid)

the art class is a fun character device ! (also I’m screaming over the Math Book exchange)

i am intrigued by the Romeo & Juliet casting in this version ngl

I knew that they merged the Nadia & Lucas characters (lowkey I hate it! I think it does a huge disservice to Nadia + inevitably the McConnell dynamic) but it’s still weird to see it . That said “Out Of Your Mind” [as best as I can approximate what the song’s called??] is kind of a vibe

he was named after Peter Pan r u kidding ?? i am so so intrigued to meet Claire Simmonds in this version now

ohhh nooo I am having FEELINGS over Best Kept Secret (as I always do) but DAMN

“If the word were different and if wishing made it so […] I’m trying just as hard as you!” jason mcconnell you will be the death of me

im SICK why is everyone so MEAN in this version

EMO PUPPY DOG MATTHEW LLOYD I LOVE YOU

^ also goddamn that whole scene was An Exchange. interesting take

“You Don’t Know” is beautiful tho*

“I hear ya.” “Do you?” any glimpse of snarky/sarcastic Peter is a relief (not sure that I’m quite here for this Peter characterisation) . Also the Peter-Diane friendship is somewhat iconic

JASON is the birthday bitch!! that’s. something.

oh okay! this Portrait Of A Girl/Boy reprise is so intriguing to me. this version of Ivy in general is so intriguing to me

snarky Peter Simmonds you are everything to me <3

i miss ‘Are You There?’ hopefully it comes back to me later, I am desperate to see this Peter & Matt have a meaningful conversation

i could honestly not discern most of those lyrics but whatever they replaced 911! Emergency! with seems unnecessarily extravagant? for very little payoff

“Peter did you learn the entire script?” “Maybe.” no I love that for him though. i’m struggling because I like a lot of this Peter’s little character MOMENTS, but OVERALL I don’t like him

again the lack of singing is throwing me off

“I’m NOT your boyfriend!” OWCH

“Your world might not stop!” ohhhh okayyy i am. going a bit insane. over this mcsimmonds.

EVER AFTER !!! EVER FUCKING AFTER !!! (or whatever this version is officially titled)

what is the general consensus on Jason having Role Of A Lifetime?? bc aside from the title not making thematic sense for his character... idk it could just be the delivery but i don’t hate it

i am Not Here for the Nadia-likes-Matt subplot, tbh. i think it’s silly.

there is something so so desperate & violently destructive about this Jason - and it isn’t even like. hidden behind this facade of effortlessness that Pop Opera Jason puts up, if that makes sense?? (yes I am upset that he kissed Ivy first even if it makes sense for this version of Jason)

what an act 1, ngl. I am so anxious for act 2.

oh ok that’s a bit cute

“What if I told the world your story? / What if I told them what you’ve done? / What if I went and shared your secret? / What if I let them know I’m someone?” OH OKAY!!! this Peter is A Character!! and he’s fascinating!!

“I am gonna win… yep, I promise.” oh ow okay that hurts

“What If I Told?” [again guessing at song titles] is doing irreparable damage to my psyche /pos and I can feel it happening in real time

oh shit! i forget that they’re not even roommates in this version!

i feel like this version of the story (or at the very least ‘Touch My Soul’ or whatever it’s called here) is really capitalising on the Ivy-Peter similarities in the way the characters are being played

ARE YOU THERE? <33 WHY ARE YOU SO LATE IN THE STORY???

“Are you there? What did I do wrong? / Tell me and I’ll fix it, get us back where we belong.” screaming crying throwing up what the FUCK

disappointed in the lack of patt meter tho ://

NO BC THIS CONTEXT!!! of Sister Joan putting Peter in!!! i actually quite like it!! i kind of hate the stagings where they have Peter like. butt in, for lack of a better phrase to use. bc that’s so uncharacteristic for him, I always read that scene as he’s stage whispering the lines/doing the motions for Diane to follow along with and he just sort of ends up in the Actual Scene accidentally

ough. the mcconnell siblingsism… it’s missing and it makes me sad

“I don’t wanna be here anymore.” OH NO OH NO I DON’T NEED TO BE THINKING ABOUT THE TRAGEDY OF PETER’S SUICIDALITY NEXT TO JASON’S SELF-DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCIES AND THE WAY THIS STORY PLAYS OUT !!! IM GONNA BE SICK !!

“God Don’t Make No Trash” isn’t my favourite song in the show or anything but I do miss it a bit, even if the replacement song works for Sister Joan + this Peter

ok no now I’m upset do we just not get to know anything about Peter’s mother at all in this version?? look with this version of Peter I don’t feel like she’s a necessary piece of his character/story but still. would’ve been nice

“I have plans, I’m not that girl.” // “If I can’t, then why should he?” Ivy !! i am back and forth on this Ivy! i like a lot of it but I also don’t like a lot of it, those lines tho are so everything to me

“So talk to him.” “We don’t. Talk.” rip to the mcconnell siblingism. like I suppose it makes sense? given the vague family dynamic this musical gives us, but still. I miss them <\3

there is something so physically painful to me to watch Jason have such obvious emotional stress fractures

the lack!! of singing!! is so wild!!

oohhh this Matt is so fucking vindictive - “Is this just another thing you’ll try for the day?” SCREAMING

OH FUCK OKAY

oh I’m gonna be sick watching this meltdown

again!! the absolute sick dog violent desperation radiates off Jason generally but FUCK ME it’s so bad here - like I really truly believe that in that second right after Cross that this Jason made the decision to kill himself**

love the R&J costumes in this version tho ngl, they’re a bit cute

oh shit he’s really just. Dead. like obviously he’s dead in the Pop Opera as well but without Queen Mab it really does just feel like. you blink and he’s gone without any sort of buildup/unravelling

i feel like they definitely tried to recycle a bit of the early versions of the Father Flynn storylines for Father Mike here - like they don’t explicitly go for the queer angle but it feels a little bit alluded to, imo

the fucking bookending!!! i’m such a sucker for that shit

oh. okay. it was certainly A Watch - definitely interesting! full of odd character choices I didn’t love, most notably the basketball team and the way that side plot played out, also the merging of Nadia & Lucas’ characters. I think it does a huge disservice to Nadia’s character, the McConnell twins relationship, Nadia & Peter’s relationship, & I like Lucas as a character (& a plot device) so it really feels like a lose-lose situation. And I would’ve liked to have Peter’s mother at least alluded to, especially given how much more Sister Joan seems to fill a motherly role (and it would’ve made sense thematically! Given his hypothetical conversion with Jason’s mother in You & I, coupled with Diane’s whole spiel about her mom being her best friend - it’s a missed opportunity imo) (even tho as established for this characterisation of Peter it’s not quite so necessary)

that said! credit where credit is due - I am supremely intrigued by the characterisation of… okay most of the cast now I’m thinking about it. Would definitely like to do a comparative character breakdown (let me know if anyone else would care for that at all).

Emo puppy dog Matt Lloyd you are so special (it’s such a silly way to play him!! the show all but eliminates the academic part of his and Jason’s rivalry and THAT makes me sad bc I think it would be so so interesting to play into the rivalry more with this Matt and this Jason - but the way Matt & Ivy’s relationship exists in this version of the show, the absolute lack of any academic focus At All [which?? like they are At School, that SHOULD count for something] and even the play part feels somewhat lacklustre in so regards to the Matt vs Jason element, which again I think is a mark against B;TM)

as I said above - I think I would like Bare: The Musical as a standalone story, but as a Pop Opera adaptation/re-interpretation I think it falls short in a lot of ways. Which is another point - it’s so so crazy to me that The Musical is the adaptation of the Pop Opera, not the other way around. Which kind of sucks! because I think making it into a book musical, not a sung-through show, does give a little more breathing room for character & relationship work and development, but it just seems ill utilised, to the point where it doesn’t even seem to match the Pop Opera, let alone improve/expand on it. Because all the extra dialogue time had to be spent on reordering the story beats so we ended up losing time with the characters in a way.

or at least that’s how it read to me - obviously I am not a professional reviewer/critic so don’t take my word for it, I just wanted to talk it out. or shout it out into the void, as my tumblr may be. if you read this whole thing?? shoutout to you, I love you <3

[hannahlovesluca]

hey heyyy, if you dont feel like doing matchups atm feel free to ignore this BUT i've been a lil tempted...

(i'd prefer a guy but a lady is fine too!)

my name is basil

my pronouns are she/they :3

sexuality: bisexual w/ a preference for men

i'm a sagittarius!

im an isfp-t (according to the test im 99% introverted-)

my oshis are: luca kaneshiro, kyo kaneko and maria marionette

appearance: VERY PALE...it's kinda concerning. i have like shoulder length messy brown hair, green eyes (with VERY VISIBLE eyebags) and somewhere inbetween thick and thin.

personality: i'm rlly quiet and socially anxious in public but online? i'm probably the most unhinged person you'll ever meet. i have like zero filter and i rarely ever think before i speak. my friends say im super empathetic and nice but im also a tad bit silly... i apologize wayyy too much and i'll admit, i'm a bit of a horndog and i am decently flirty (even tho my rizz game is like -100). i also get distracted veryyy easily and i procrastinate a lot.

i rlly like cats, salty foods, calm video games, art (even tho i suck at it), my friends <3, writing, candles, anime, sleeping and vocaloid songs

i HATE flashing / bright lights, bugs and spiders, loud noises, the dark, super quiet places and social gatherings

love language (giving): PHYSICAL TOUCH 100%. i loove hugging people and just touching people in general! (that sounded rlly weird). runner ups are acts of service and words of affirmation!

love language (receiving): basically the same as giving! i adore physical touch so much, it makes me feel rlly happy :3. runner ups are quality time and words of affirmation.

extra: im EXTREMELY PICKY with food. like i barely eat throughout the day and i assume that if theres a food i havent tried, i won't like it. i also suck at cooking (aka ive never cooked anything so therefore i suck). uhhh i have a russian blue kitten named shio as well as three other cats and two dogs!!

thats it i think!

GET BETTER SOON HANNAH!!!

i pair you with…

Mysta Rias!

hear me out…

• oh my god you are actually the exact same person

• extremely introverted in public and unhinged as hell behind closed doors

• also hes said before he likes short hair on a girl so 🙈🙈

• and again, like a previous mysta matchup; neither of you can cook.

• which leads to a lot of dates whether that be in a restaurant or ordered from door dash (thats the company right? ours in sweden is called Wolt LMAOO)

• also thank you for hoping i get better i am fully recovered

• mysta adores physical touch so knowing thats your love language is amazing for him hes so infatuated jejdksjsowudbdkwo

• and VOCALOID!!! he loves vocaloid and rhythm games

• IF YOU LOVE RHYTHM GAMES HE WILL ACTUALLY DIE OF HAPPINESS

• also isfp and infj (him) go really well together imo and its just so :))

• ugh him, luca, ike, selen and pogmu… i could go on forever about them

• messages you’ll receive:

• “KISS ME BITCH” “why couldnt you just ask in person?”

• “where the fuck did all my socks go”

[squarebracketsmileyface]

i can't get the thoughts into words but the diner by Billie ellish is so S,IL Jay?? I can't explain why but it's him and his obsession/stalking of Alex

maybe it's the line "you could be my wife, could get into a fight, I'll say you're right, and you'd kiss me goodnight"

You're so so so so right. This song is soooooo Jay, poor guy. Poor lil freak. Poor lil freak stalker. Idk how to put it into words either, but this song just feels like Jay, kinda off kilter, the gait of his emotional reactions is just kinda off. Idk maybe uncanny is the word? I feel kinda like the way Jay is with Alex almost falls into the uncanny valley but if there was an uncanny valley for emotions? (Can you tell I don't understand the uncanny valley effect? I only feel it for dogs 💀)

The song feels like that too, kinda creepy and dark and just Off a bit, y'know? I feel like that's Jay. A lot of that's probably just general mental illness stuff, cos that seems to make people fall into the uncanny for people? But just, yeah, idk 👍

But like, yeah idk, he's not evil, he can get better, he does TRY to get better once he's been away from Alex for a few years, once he's with Tim. But he does need therapy, and he's all resistant to that.

Like I love calling him and Alex toxic and shitty and stuff, and like, they are. They're just two of those people who just need to stay away from each other, who can only make each other worse. And then they decide, yeah let's be best friends since like, primary school. Because they were both weird and freaky and no one else liked them, so of course they gravitated to each other, and of course because everyone else hated them, they grew to love each other almost obsessively to make up for that.

And like, obviously the operator is involved and it's making it all worse, so chuck that out of the equation for a moment. When Jay and Alex are with other people, they do get better. Alex has like three great years with Amy where he learns to get over his internalised homophobia and how a relationship can have proper communication etc. And when Jay's with Tim he starts to learn that he can't rely on manipulating situations to get what he wants, he slowly stops feeling so hung up over his relationship with Alex (this poor man does NOT know how to let go of things 💀)

Jay and Alex are just not good for each other, and thats fine, sometimes that just happens.

Sorry anyway idk where that lil rant came from. Probably cos I've been If It Ain't Broken brained for a while and I miss the fluff and slow getting better that I was writing with the last chapters of "Sorry, It's Locked". They're my babies and I can't wait to write their first time, before they got super toxic together and all that.

Also can't wait to write the aftercare part of If It Ain't Broken chapter 4. I just need to write fluffy. I need those two specifically to have some fluffy and healthy stuff together, because so far I'm reeeeeaaaally painting them as shitty shitty shitty, and they weren't always like that, like, not even most of the time. Like my intention with them is that most of the time they're literally just fine, a lil tense maybe, but not as god awful shitty as theyre being in their worst times, aka the times you see in If It Ain't Broken.

[sonicattos]

ah random blurble spouting random headcanons at a random person i follow at 3 in the morning time! -Everyone says Shadow is represented by heavy metal, a lotta people seem to think that the Super Sonic songs of Frontiers would be "better suited" for him, however a lot of the songs in his own GAME are NOT heavy metal, in fact, most of them are electronic rock or full-on electronic jungle, sometimes even trance type tracks. As such, I propose that the genres that would best represent him would be either atmospheric dnb that uses lots of samples, or experimental types of electronic rock. -Sonic would be the type to listen to breakcore (like actual breakcore) to help him focus and Tails would be the type to be like "S...Sonic h...how does this- yknow what, sure, if it helps it helps" -Shadow likes nature. We already know he probably has a soft spot for animals, he loves lavenders, and part of his whole thing is thinking of the world as beautiful in some ways, as Earth itself represents both his and Maria's own personal desires, dreams, and wishes. Despite the fact that he has that edgy emo boy demeanor going on with his looks and his small actions, his overall personality really doesnt actually reflect that much, apart from some of the ways he speaks. However, that can just be chalked up to him enjoying being a bit dramatic. Overall, he's a lot less.... aggressive, than people seem to make him out to be. -To add to the "dramatic" part, I think he genuinely enjoys BEING dramatic, but in the moment he doesn't really realize he is being dramatic. Like, i dunno if this is relatable, but the being "autism funny" thing i go through, where I intentionally do try to be comedic, yet somehow at the same time i dont actually realize i am. I'm stating things I truly think, however i do know that when I say it that way it makes people laugh with me, so I'm cool with it. This is part of why the Shadow in my Paradox AU got into theatrics as an adult, because he's really fucking good at being dramatic and people think he's just a really good actor, but no, he's thinking about actual shit that's happened and channeling his inner drama from that thing into himself saying the lines lol. -Tails often tells Sonic all about how he overworks himself and shit, but he himself does the exact same thing. Whether or not it's something he picked up from Sonic, or just something that happened to be part of him thats a similar trait, is unknown. However, it DOES lead to them both badgering one another over overworking themselves until they both do the "I'll only stop if YOU stop!" thing to eachother before passing out somewhere random. Amy often has to check in on them to bring them out to a couch or something like that lol. -Tails tried to make a robot doggy to act as a "friend" to Knuckles so he could have a buddy on Angel Island whenever he's there for extended periods of time, the robo dog ended up a lil... wonky, though. Think like... a very very weird chihuahua. That's what it acts like. But Tails can't bring himself to "shut it down" because he says it's TOO much like an actual dog and he feels bad for it. They have yet to show Knuckles, so this weird yapper robot that "sleeps" most the day and kinda weirdly wobbles around the rest of the time just kinda.... lives in Tails' workshop. And sometimes bumps into them while they're doing stuff. This dog is also the only thing Eggman outright refuses to destroy when it comes to Tails' creations, even sometimes going out of his way to make sure it DOESNT get caught in the robotic-battle crossfire while fighting the team. Eggman is.... oddly sympathetic toward robotic beings, as seen in a lot of continuities of him where he doesnt just, like.... scrap and replace his "less reliable" robots despite them being, well, less reliable. It's an oddly continuous trait of his and I think it would be funny if a silly weird robo dog were to be his goddamn weakness lmao.

-This is more of a future au, but Amy ends up growing up to be a very witchy type who's genuinely knowledgeable in those types of practices. She's already got those hippie vibes to her, even moreso than the rest of the group lol, so I think it'd check out pretty well! Knuckles would bring her an especially cool rock that looks like a squid and she'd be like "Knuckles those are amethyst crystal points where did you find this it's absolutely stunning??????" And he's like "oh there's a bunch of em none of them looked that cool though". And it turns out that he's been finding cool crystals everywhere, just none of them looked enough like animals to him so he didn't think they were that important lol. But now he brings her the "weird shiny ones" because he knows she likes em so why not? -Sonic and Shadow have a chili dog eating contest and Sonic learns the true extent to the whole "Shadow cant get sick" thing -Just... overall other bizarre shit they compete over. They'd absolutely make a competition out of anything, which they need to absolutely bring back in-canon. They wouldnt always be beating the shit outta one another, but they WOULD be having multi-mile races over the dumbest possible decisions, or having a contest over who can go the longest without pissing someone off on accident lmao.

(tried to give some love to characters besides Sonic, Shadow, and Tails lol. They're all good characters honestly, I love em. Also help me name the robot doggy because i may use that in a possible AU lol)

- i agree with the first one!!! although i feel like shadow appreciates almost all types of music! he hates being perceived so he doesn’t talk about the music that doesn’t “fit his vibe”

-i can see sonic either LOVING breakcore or despising it, no in between and i won’t elaborate

-shadow loving nature is one of my favorites. and there’s no way it isn’t true since it was his and maria’s dream to visit earth. they’ve had to have read books and stuff too! that’s why he’s standing by that tree in shadow 05, it’s “his tree”

-you’re so right about shadow being dramatic. in game canon, doesn’t matter in what game, he’s calm, but when he gets excited or any intense emotion, he starts yelling and says over the top one liners. a more recent example would be in team sonic racing and how he behaves in the game while just talking to someone vs how he acts while racing. he’s so monotone and calm but when he’s competing he’s practically screaming at everyone.

-i hc tails is an intense hypocrite because at least sonic takes time for naps. tails will not sleep for days and still yells at sonic for pulling one all nighter.

-i love the robot dog hc hdjfjd; eggman is a very interesting character because while he literally abuses animals he has sympathy for his robots. perhaps because he designs them with voices and personalities and such. you’d think he’d shut off orbot and cubot by now especially since they’re ruthless to him but no, he still keeps them around. don’t forget sage like jeez he literally just made a human girl and didn’t think he’d be attached?

-i see amy becoming more witchy too!! she already has her tarot cards and her “sonic sense” i’m pretty sure she’s said that she can sense chao as well? or just peoples auras in general? i have this stupid hc that she cursed herself by accident which is why she wears rings, and also why she can turn invisible in 06.

-shadow becomes sick for the first time not clickbait

-i love the competition for no/a stupid reason so much. they kinda haven’t stopped doing that, again, in team sonic racing sonic challenged shadow to a race because he wanted to help shadow on a mission i think.

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

Virtue!! Your event!!!! Why are you so sweet let me smooch you😭

If it's okay I would love to tell you about my Selfship with none other but Benkei bear 🫶

Sadly I don't have any selfship art bc your bitch is broke but I have a picrew

We're just that wholesome lil couple where you think "oh my how adorable I want that too!"

We got our difficulties choosing movies because I live for horror and gore which he's scared of bc he's a baby. All big and tough but he's the softest. He would keep a light on when I listen to true crime to fall asleep and states it's so he can read and play with my hair but in reality he's scared (but won't say anything bc he knows I can't fall asleep otherwise)

He would protect me from everything and speak for me when anxiety kicks in but as we know I'll gladly destroy kneecaps if someone pisses my loved ones off so I think this dynamic fits us best

He's this cool headed, calm, rational guy that likes to be loud and cheer all his friends on while I'm that impulsive little crackrat that can't open her mouth for shit - and if I do it's either veeery quiet (or I will make you question your existence if you chose to fuck around and find out)

Him and Ace are best buddies and it makes me question from time to time if he's with me so he can hang out with my dog 💔 can't blame him tho, that stinky is a legend.

Our song is Work song by Hozier. It just gives me this big ol Benkei vibes.

You probably have the whole knowledge of A-Z about him thanks to yours truly 🫶

And about me uh yeah. I'm a lil Shrimpy that would kill for her dog and loved ones, big anger issues but a shy baby. As you know I love to crochet and lately to paint / draw.

I don't know what else to tell you but I could go on for hours about how much I would like to lay in bed and cuddle him right now because yeah. I love him and he's that big walking heater that likes to cuddle.

I just love this man why is he not real 🥹

Greet the Breadstick from me please and give her some good booty scratches if she's into that🖤

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◇─◇──◇── @benkeibear  x Benkei! ──◇──◇─◇

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birthday edition!!! Wishing you a very tolerable year with more ups than downs hehe <3 <3

□ I feel like Benkei has definitely tried to train you a bit in the past. So he can be particularly comfortable and secure in your ability to stand you ground against the GIANTS you experience on the daily.

□ And thank god it happened after hours bc i think it has also once maybe ended in steamy locker room times.

□ Benkei has tried to squat Ace (with ace kind laying on/being held on his shoulders). I don't think ace loved that. His lil face was VERY CONFUSED, but the gym insta followers loved the video.

□ this one is kinda out there but i think maybe Benkei might have discovered yarn bombing and coordinated with some local grandmas to yarn bomb a park. I think he probably tried to get you to teach him (I'm not sure if his hands were quite dexterous enough) but tldr, the grandma population loves him and he thinks it's a very silly idea.

□ big spoon/little spoon? Puh-lease. Benkei lays on you. He hugs your hips and nestles his cheek into your tum and he could die happily like that, your warmth on his cheek. It's super cute right!!! WRONG! Come winter you are going to be plagued by his COLD NOSE. It is the ONLY PART OF THE MAN THAT GETS COLD. But ugh anything for him T.T

□ Benkei sends you a video every. single. walk. with Ace because he's a silly boy or his ears flopped really cutely.

□ He absolutely lifts you in the grocery store.

□ Benkei, in all his buff, yet soft glory spends a lot of time at Shinichiro's place lately. He always smells really sweet when he comes back too.

□ it's weird but like it's Benkei. Benkei would never do anything so sketchy as cheat.

□ Of course, he was really getting baking lessons from housewife in the making Emma. Even better than the cheesecake me makes for your birthday, is the stack of photos of Benkei with each and every one of his failed creations along the way.

□ Also, he's the most reasonable of the older gen trio, but he still forgot candles so you just blew out his lighter lmaooo

□ I just know he'd be coordinating for months to get people to get to see you irl esp after the last few years of wild shit. It's made even more sweet bc I don't think he's really the stay-tightly-in-touch type so it's really a little labor of love and UGH I LOVE YOU TWO.

□ Most importantly Benkei lets me play flirt with you and is in on the running joke that if heaven forbid anything happens to him, I get you

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If anyone but rhy made it here - sorry yall, this is me celebrating our girl's birthday so it's a super special extended length version.

BACK TO IT THO!!!!

Have you ever lovingly teased him about his very of-the-time tribal-y tattoos?be honest. eheheh

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Come make my day, tell me about your self ship, and get some hcs of your own.

[finniestoncrane]

ah thank you for tagging me cassandra 💚 @jervis-tetch-my-beloved i started a new thread because i didn't want to annoy everyone lmao i'm so dumb

Nickname: finnie is my nickname! or i guess fin too! ms. crane if ya nasty

Sign: virgo

Height: i think 5ft 8"

Recently Googled: john candy (we watched p, t, & a 💜)

Song Stuck In My Head: b.o.t.a - eliza rose, i just really like the lil bee bee boop be de bee doo boop bit

Number of Followers: 577 eep i am baby

Amount of Sleep Last Night: i think in total like 7

Lucky Number: 248

Dream Job: i do not dream of labour i wanna write porn in the forest

Wearing: black overshirt, plain grey tee, mustard corduroy lucy and yak dungarees, and my black converse

Books/Movies That Summarize Me: painfully, and i mean this wholeheartedly and genuinely, the first chapter of history of a drowning boy was shockingly revealing, it takes so little for paths to diverge huh?

Favourite Songs: i literally cannot pick favourites of things i find it distressing but at the moment i think it's clean clean by the buggles or pressure by billy joel

Aesthetic: soft grunge in a primary school teacher kinda way, goth in a librarian kind of way, weird in a bisexual kinda way, definitely queer just from looking at me kinda way

Favourite Author: cassandra you typed finnie and it literally made my eyes water at my desk and i sincerely hope you did mean me and if not i'll die but also that's the nicest fuckin thing and i'm dying and march you too what the fuck ANYWAY probably uh shirley jackson, stephen king, adam marek, jeremy dyson, max brooks, richard matheson, peter vronsky ??

Favourite Animal Noises: when dogs do that old man grumble when you scratch them or they stretch, when my dogs specifically go "grrr" really low when they want my attention

Random: @riddlersbimbo sent me the most amazing holiday card and it is on my desk at work and i spend at least 10 minutes a day looking at it and smiling 💚

💚 Tagging (but they might already be tagged further down the chain i am scheduling this for later) 💚

@riddlemeri @riddlersbimbo @shigironki @pinkpanda1846 @s0ftmary @diaboligoat @worri-wort @paprikaspice @ihavenosoul12 @midnight0906 @that3nbytrash @pompous-puffed-up-penguin @letshaveadepressionparty @thebeautifulsoup @sweetums0kitty @luckyspade-8 @a-rose-as-sweet

[aeferkssr]

MEETING YOUR PARENTS - 5nemo boys !

!! 5nemo characters meeting your parents but they're actually meeting my parents lol! this is very self indulgent lmao and i will be describing my parents a lot so if you relate to any of these we the same person fr fr. also venti's is really crack-fic ish because he would do that and i kinda rushed this ☠️☠️ and i cleraly have favourites

✿ ｡˚︵ 사랑 𓈒 ˙ ｡ 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗬 𝗕𝗢𝗬S !?

AETHER - OUTLANDER

○ aether just gives off the vibes of a mama's boy so i think he would have a really good relationship with your parents!

○ your parents love him, your siblings love him and even the neighbours love him!

○ when he first came over, the first thing he did when he walked into your home was to quickly scan the room for any embarassing baby pictures you might have.

○ not to tease you or anything... just to appreciate them

○ alas, he did find the wall with your entire family heritage from the last year and when he finished greeting your family he got his phone to take pictures of them

○ if you aren't really embarassed of them yoy best believe that he will change his profile pictures on all immediate social media platforms to that one picture of you hugging your cousins dog when you were 3.

○ if you were... then get ready for the constant teasing from him.

"you were soo cute as a baby, [name]! man, i wish i could go back in time and just" he puffed out his lips as he pinched his fingers together making goo goo gaa gaa noises "you know?"

"....no?"

HEIZOU - ANALYTIC HARMONY

○ he has met your parents before because of his line of work so he was very familiar wirh them. howevee, this was his first time mewting your parents as his.

○ to be fair, thats a little merve wracking but this detective has got it all under control!

○ he has done a little digging on your family just to find out their likes and dislikes (which you told his wasn't necessary and just plain weird)

○ when he actually met your parents he got uncharacteriscially nervous. you had to calm him down a little so that his voice wouldn't shake.

○ what if they don't like him? what if they think he's too much of a smartass to date you? what if...

○ all of his worries went away when he actually stepped into the house. maybe it was the fact that his lover was right next to him that eased his nerves....

○ ...or it was the alexa he saw out of the corner of his eye that replaced his fear with excitement.

○ as soon as he was finished introducing himself he zoomed over to the alexa and started to occupy himself with the ai.

○ soon, your whole family could be seen around the table as you qatch your dad and your boyfriend have an intense game of multiplayer feel the pressure.

○ oh they played all the alexa games, when they finished with feel the pressure yoy asked ti play song quiz and now you and youe boyfriend were competing against your mom and your dad.

○ surprisingly, heizou knew a lot of 80s songs so that helped you a lot in the long run.

○ at the end of the day, your dad ranked up two places in the world players for feel the pressure and made a life-long friend.

"psst, babe, you dad pulled ne aside and asked when the wedding was. and that he'd be glad to officiate it"

"i- um-" you turn to your father who was giving you a thumbs up "daddy... please..."

VENTI - WINDBORNE BARD

○ venti venti venti

○ vent wenti penti

○ yeah i like venti a lil bit

○ but yeah venti meeting your parents is an interesting experience

○ as well as heizou, he was also invested in your alexa and used it for most of the visit. not to play the games (but he would be really good at song quiz) but to play random songs.

"alexa, play when we were kids by twice"

"when we were kids by twice is only avaliable with amazon music unlimi-"

"DAMMIT"

○ yes this is venti's kpop idol arc

○ playing and singing along to the songs caught the attention of your family members. since venti is an enterrainer at heart, he started ti sing and dance even louder performing a show for your family

○ you jooined for some of the songs but most of the time you were videoing your boyfriend sing his heart out with a wooden spoon as a microphone

○ eventually, your family joined in with the song selections. the songs ranged from micheal jackson (where your dad could finally show off his dance moves from when he was wayy younger) to baby shark (which was venti's imput after saying how you baby him so much)

○ when it came time for venti to leave he played one final song: we are the champions by queen

○ as you guys sung the song, venti waved your phones flashlight around like a lighter.

○ overall your parents loved him teehee

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA - SCARLET LEAVES PURSUE WILD WINDS

○ mama's boy ii

○ no but he would be so so kind to your parents

○ like if he came over for dinner he would help set the table, or he would clean up

○ kazuha will most definetly gossip with your mom.

○ or even listen to her problems and come up with helpful solutions. (you're starting to think that your mom loves him more than you)

○ your dad on the other hand think he's a bit off

○ he says that since he is a man, he knows their intentions. and he thinks thar he is just going to use yoy for something and as soon as he gets it hes gone

○ but kazuha gladly picked up on your dad's resentment and reassured him that he had no ill intent with his child

○ and he did it in his usual calm demeanor

○ now your dad has MAD respect for him

○ go you omg

"you need not worry sir, i have no ill intent with your child." kazuha says as you catch his eye. his lips form a soft smile before continuing consoling your father

XIAO - VIGILANT YAKSHA

○ modern au xiao (heart eyes)

○ NOT BUT YOU GUYS WRITE HIM TO FINE

○ him always being a bit stand off ish and not interracting with others much but he just can't seem to get his eyes or his hands ofd of you

○ hearts hearts hearts

○ anyways, like he qas with most people he was very quiet around your parents. was it anxiety? was it just him being xiao? we'll never know

○ but all of his worries went away when he spotted the old wii console under your tv

○ he tugged the fabric of your clothes gently and motioned over to the console, his face a slight tint of pink

○ when you realised that he wanted to play on it you because as excited as xiao was when you agreed

○ you didn't have much games that still worked on it but you did get to play a wii version of call of duty that yo found at the bottom of your disks case

○ since xiao is a loser valorant player, he quickly adapted to the game but still struggled a bit with the controller.

○ time flew as you went through all of the cds that still worked.

○ from just dance, which xiao sat on the couch at got perfects while yoy actually stood up and danced and got goods. (xiao was secretly holding back laughter)

○ to the old tangled game you found that actually still worked, you two breezed through the games that were avaliable to you.

○ however, its never a wii night without some competition. during your final game, your family started to join in one by one. they fought against eachother, laughed with each other and overall had an amazing night

"the day was... fun. i guess. it was nice to spend time with you and your family like this. also we should definetly get a wii."

[grandaddy-of-all-liars]

Hello my’ mellows, today I will be telling you about Ren and Stimpy characters that I don’t think get enough attention.

Mr Horse

No one talks about him and it weirds me out. he’s not only a FANTASTIC critic but also a snazzy dresser, I mean have you seen that suit he was wearing in Ren Seeks Help? He also was in the army so it’s clear he’s very strong. And to top it all off he’s a very handsome, and I’m surprised that not many people haven’t fell heads over heels over him.

Muddy the Mudskipper

This one is a little more understandable since he didn’t have much of a role in the series, but I still thinks he deserves a mention. KILLER theme song, and cares for his friend enough to take him to a mental asylum to get help (I’m referring to Ren Needs Help). Also is a Hollywood big shot so that’s pretty cool.

The headless boy from APC

I know I briefly already mentioned him in the comment section on your last post, but I feel like I should mention him here too. Some how can operate just fine without a head which is very impressive. Had a kinda cute moment with Stimpy when they were building that house (well chimney I mean). Despite seeming to lose everything and living in a hole he still tried to have as much fun as he possibly can. Overall this character is just wholesome in general and I wish we could see more of him.

Ren’s Mom from APC

This one is gonna be a bit biased since I have a bit of a crush on her, I mean she’s practically a girl version of Ren that fact alone is enough for my lesbian brain go “ME WANT GIANT CHIHUAHUA WIFE” which is a weird thought to have since she’s not a giant, anyway enough of what ever this is let’s get on with the real reasons. She’s very beautiful, but deserves a much better marriage. A lovable psychopath just like her son (this is based off of speculation).

I hope you enjoyed my little TED talk and let me know if you think I missed any (which I probably did). Well bye for now!

i enjoyed reading EVERY word of this thank you so much for sharing your two cents! super ask, thank you for helping me not terminally hyperfix on Ren 0_o

also [chihuahua wife panic], sdhchfhczrf how did I fail to appreciate such a catch that is his mom, I cried when I saw this 💔

ok so we concur:

dapper Mr Horse🔺️

Muddy (the tune is on mental repeat now)🔺️

Headless Boy 🔺️(when hes embarassed and crosses his feet and hangs his lil larynx in shame 🥺)

Ren's stone cold fox Mom🔺️ (does she have a name? confession: i had a kind of awakening when her skirt lifted to reveal the garters 👀)

Submitting for your approval:

Wilbur Cobb - the shit he says plus he's like actively decaying idk why it makes me hysterical. he's completely batshit but kinda sharp still, i mean, pro tip: 'if you call everything crap you're never wrong'

Chuck - i think i actually like him more as a character foil for Ren bc he eggs him on to the point we get to see another side of Ren's pathos, and i like to imagine Ren was once secretly in love with him

Jasper - ok maybe i'm too narrowly focusing on the brotherhood of the dog here, the canine antics are so much fun. wish he were a recurring cameo

Eggyolkeo - please don't hate me for this >.< inanity is my lover and this character is just so hokey and ridiculous i can't not celebrate him. when he performs on stage and Elvis-struts in his cape and gargled into the mic i lost it. plus seeing the boys being all parental is just so darn cute, despite the poor ending

well thank you so much for having me on the show, i had a lot of fun here tonight :) seriously thank you for the stellar topic!!!! i'm sorry it took me forever to reply please feel welcome to send more, i should be getting my life back from work a bit soooooon

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON PART THREE OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

A DC RENDITION OF THE SONG “MOTHER KNOWS BEST” FROM TANGLED.

Here I will leave the links to my reviews of Part 1 and Part 2

Well, here we are, three issues in this story of only six parts and i still cant tell if i like it or not. What i know for sure tho is that Zdarsky never read any Red Hood books, i had my suspicions but now i am at least 95% sure.

This Jason has been nerfed. We had a perfectly balanced Jason back in 2005 he was smart, skilled, confident and strategic. Then from 2011 to 2020 (let’s put the fact that Lobdell is trash aside for a moment) Jason was skilled, he had the whole “chosen one” thing going on with the all-castle, and in some moments you could even see him being quick witted and confident. But now in this first half of this story he is extremely insecure, his skill set and expertise is barely there and is presented as just reckless. 

The other day i was talking about how DC treats Jason, how they just can’t decide on who he is, what motivates him or what he wants. His personality is a whole ass mess, it was fine in 2005 and 2010 when Winick wrote him but then Lobdell from years 2011 to 2020 just couldn't decide what he wanted to do with Jason or his relationship with Batman and his rules. After Lobdell finally left Jason was passed around people who either only read Lobdell's work, or didn't read anything from him or didn't take into account Jason's life because their book was set in a future that may never happen. 

What i am trying to say is that Jason doesn't have a personality, and writers don't really add things to the Jason that we “know”, what they do is start his story from zero over and over again. There is no consistency to Jason's character and while you could argue that maybe this new start could be the definite version of Jason Todd/Red Hood i will point out that this nerfed version of him is a major disservice to the character that he was when he was brought back to DC.

It’s simply not nice. 

And in this particular issue the “Jason isn't that good at this whole vigilante gig” is even more pushed because of the whole “batman knows best” bullshit. I am not getting this (anthologies) book with a Red Hood story just for Batman to come in and be like “I am actually good at this job, you know nothing AND i have the moral high-ground”, this is NOT it.

If you are reading a Red Hood story chances are that you will be interested in Red Hood not Batman. 

Oh one more thing, Jason was an excellent Robin. He was kind, smart and skilled. I liked the flashbacks in UtRH because it showed Jason being all that but he also understood a couple of things about the kind of criminals that Gotham had, your common thug is easily scared of the concept of Batman but the dress-ups knew that no matter what they did the Bat would never kill them, that’s what Jason thought about criminals there.

This Robin Jason is treated rather poorly by Zdarsky at times, he feels insecure and inferior to Dick but he is also dismissive of him and the Robin mantle in the first issue, now in this one he is shown as way too reckless (which is kinda bad because it feeds into DCs favorite trope of “Jason’s death was Jason’s fault”) and his stance on “low level” criminals is weird, like it was made clear that drug related criminals are Jason’s biggest issue, thieves were not. 

Those are my general thoughts on this issue and the current state of Jason’s characterization. I have some panels from this issue that i want to talk about in more depth tho, so here we go. 

The issue stars were we left off once more, Tyler defends Jason and when Batman asks who he is Tyler says that he is the Blue Hood, that was really sweet of him, that child is adorable and he needs to be protected. 

Once the Bat distracts Tyler Jason tells the Bat that the man he killed was Tyler’s dad. 

There are a couple of things i want to point out from these panels, Jason feels incredibly guilty, not about killing Andy but about leaving Tyler in a situation that is similar to the one he was left in when his own mother died. He still believes that Andy was not a good man and deserved to be dead, after all he was drugging his own son and was the reason Tyler’s mom overdosed and is now in the hospital. It just hits incredibly close to home for Jason and i understand completely. 

The other thing i want to point out is that Jason says “I know your rules. No killing in Gotham” so, this is (to me) confirmation that Jason hasn’t killed in a long time and that he has been sticking to the Bat's rules (at least in Gotham). Andy (a drug-dealer) is the only person that Jason has killed since the events of UtRH (that are apparently canon in this story because it was mentioned in the first issue). 

Following this conversation the Bat says that he will take care of Tyler’s mother (yikes, i really thought in my last post that Jason was the one who would have tried to get her the help she needed, to me it seems more appropriate if Jason does it given that this is his story but what do I know) 

This is where this Red Hood story transforms into the Batman show.

Not only will Bruce take care of Tyler's mom but he will clean up the mess and shut down the making of the drug all by himself. Jason tells him that he will do it but the Bat tells Jason that if he wants to do it they will have to do it together because there is no way he is letting Jason out of his sight, he made a mess!

Yes, nothing like making the lead character look incompetent at his job. Love that for Jason.

Before the team up starts Batman and Red Hood go to Leslie's place to leave Tyler with her. This is a good moment only because there is a dog involved, well…Tyler, Jason and a dog are involved, best panel in the whole issue? I think yes.

Maybe I have a couple more panels that are my favs in this issue, here they are, a lil bit of positivity in this extra bitter post.

Now I will be honest, I hate Batman (Bruce’s Batman, love Dick Bats he was the MVP) so him saying that he is helping a Robin makes me want to shoot him. You are not helping; you are overtaking, as you do. Never a team player, the Batgod must always be the center of the show.

Back in the new cave Bruce talks to Jason about the drug and who he thinks might be behind it's production. He also makes sure to let Jason know that he is very smart and might be the only person outside of Crane's circle that knows how analyze a very unstable compound…weird flex but okay. He also teases Jason about his detective skills. Yay.

Flashback time! Get ready!

Robin Jason and Batman are at a crime scene and Jason doesn’t seem to be in the mood to play CSI: Gotham with Bruce.

At one moment Jason says “and then we will stomp the guy who did this” (“this” being murder), which makes Jim Gordon (who came to see if batman was done playing Sherlock Holmes) uncomfortable, so Batman tells Jason to wait for him. As Jason is going he sees someone acting suspicious.

Back to present day Batman and Red Hood are visiting the woman that created the compound that makes Fear Gas, the interrogation starts well but because this is the Batman show and Jason is bad at reading people and asking questions we have a scene that shows Jason being a bit too much.

I honestly thought that the first question was fair, but then after they leave the office they were in Batman basically goes on a rant about the things that Jason missed.

Ok, I get it Batman = good vigilante. Red Hood = Incompetent.

Zdarsky is honestly trying to make us believe that Jason hasn’t picked up any of those things, in his years as Robin with Batman AND Nightwing? They both taught him, there is no way Jason doesn’t know the basics of how to read people. Also do you guys remember Jason in UtRH and Lost Days? That guy read people perfectly, how is UtRH canon in this story, did Jason lose his skills in the explosion when he blew up the Joker?

As if that wasn’t enough Batman calls Red Hood reckless after they don’t agree on what to do next.

To this I say the following: Never again make me believe that Jason will willingly work with Batman. They don’t work together and neither are willing to meet each other halfway, even less let the other lead. This makes the idea of Jason following the Bat’s rules and him being part of the “Batfamily” the joke that it actually is.

They don’t work well together anymore; bring duality back to Gotham 2021.

Back in the past where the previous flashback is resumed we have Jim telling Batman that the new Robin seems a bit too rough around the edges. Did Jim ever meet Dick as Robin? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Dick was a sweetheart but he also beat criminals alongside batman every night. It just doesn’t feel like what Jason said was that much of a violent statement or anything, maybe I just don’t get it.

But don’t worry if you don’t get it, because we are shown Robin Jason going after that suspicious man, he is beating him asking if he knows anything about the murder or what exactly he was doing so close to the crime scene when Batman arrives. Through Batman we are told that that man was no longer a criminal, to which Jason says this, “…The guy is a jewel thief! He will always be a thief” and Batman responds “I refuse to believe that. Didn’t I meet you in the middle of stealing the Batmobile’s tires?”

I can’t believe Bruce went full “It’s over Jason. I have the moral high ground” on Robin Jason.

I mean Jason is OOC, we know this, but he has to be that way in order to make Batman look better when compared to a child. DC hates Jason Todd #Confirmed.

It kinda reminds me of that thing DC does with Dick and Barbara, Dick is skilled and smart as long as Barbara isn’t in the room, if she is then Dick will forget to check if there is someone inside his apartment and then be thrown across the room by her and then be told that he sucks at putting security in his living space.

Moving on...back to the present one last time Jason is interrogating a man while he dangles him from the edge of a building (did Dick teach him that? I bet he did.) After getting some information he calls Oracle so he can make sure that the place he is going to is safe. Oracle tells him the she will help him but she did not like the fact that the last time she helped him someone ended up dead.

Now, fair warning, Barbara and Jason big NO for me and after Geoff Johns and his antics in Three Jokers I have zero love for their “team-ups”.

Jason says this, 

Believing in him? Excuse me? Chonky, baby, she only helped you find a building.

All I can do at this point is pray to whichever god or whoever hears that this does not lead to Jason pinning for Barbara. We don’t need it (Barbara doesnt need it), I might be overreacting, I hope I am, but nobody wants that kind of drama right now, thanks.

When he arrives to the place he was looking for I think everyone can tell that it’s a trap, everyone but Jason apparently. 

How on earth does Jason not realize it’s a trap up until it’s too late? Are you joking? Is this a Red Hood story? Are we really doing this? Just how incompetent is Jason in Zdarsky’s eyes?

Freeze…is it Freeze? I don’t care but he is there, he freezes Jason and that’s the end of the issue.

Listen, I wish I could say that this is the worst Jason has been treated and that this book is horrible, I wish but I can’t. I can’t do it because this isn’t the worst characterization or book of Jason, this is still a pretty good story, could it be better? Yes.

I mean this story is written by someone who obviously doesn’t know Jason and that sucks but it still isnt the worst characterization and it messes me up. Three Jokers was worse than this, certain plot decisions in Future State: Red Hood were worse than this (in my opinion) and Lobdell’s New52 RHatO was pure trash (that is the worst book, just horrible please dont read it). 

I am saying this only to make it clear that even tho this issue was painful (mostly if you don’t like Batman) I still have hope that it can turn out to be good. I cant help it, i want and need this story to be good and there is still time for it to get better. 

Alright thats all i have to say, let me know what you thought about this issue and my review, bye!

[doublekrecs]

ethanol (k. tetsuro)

ethanol (k. tetsuro)

synopsis: your lab partner in chem is annoying.

word count: 4.2 k

college!au, barista!akaashi, e2l, mean!kuroo, meg thee stallion stan!atsumu fem!reader

warnings: a lil angsty, swearing, nsfw, smut, some semi x reader smut, fingering, oral, face sitting, drunk sex, drinking, mentions of weed, degradation, hate sex??, unprotected sex, overstimulation, a lil breathplay?

walking into a stem class, especially chemistry, you expected at least a few girls to be in there with a male majority. it’s not that you didn’t get along with boys, in fact, your best friends were men themselves. but being a girl in a science class meant constantly being talked down upon, sometimes sexualized by some weird ass incels.

so when you walked into your small class as the only girl who knew no one with nowhere to sit, you settled for the next best thing: sitting next to a guy who had seemingly okay vibes. and you spotted exactly that. you couldn’t deny that he was kind of hot, a little rugged looking with his messy rooster hair. though he was only sitting down, you were also able to tell he had some height on him.

you took your seat next to him and waited in silence for the professor to start the class. this class is only a semester long. this repeated in your head like a mantra. one semester. one semester. and it’s next to a seemingly normal hot guy. you could do this. as the professor got right into the topic, you got to work right away. notes were scribbled, important topics were highlighted, your focus completely spent on the class.

“god, your perfume reeks. what did you do? dump the whole bottle?”

you looked to your left. gears were turning in your head and you felt yourself tense at the sound of his first spoken words. are you fucking serious? yeah, you liked your vanilla scented perfume. bokuto did, too. hinata loved it. akaashi was indifferent, but he never said anything negative. one semester, you repeated to yourself. one semester.

“your hair looks like absolute shit, but you don’t see me complaining about it.”

and that was your first impression of kuroo tetsuro, your lab partner. a complete asshole.

-

“and he fucking asked me if i dumped a bottle of perfume on myself! i’m not going to survive this semester with this rooster bitch.”

you sighed loudly and turned to bokuto and hinata who listened intently. while you came down from your red, hot anger, the faces of these two angels helped you feel good again.

“i’m sorry, (y/n), but there’s this one guy in my math class you might get along with. he said he was taking the same chem class, so just tell me when you need help,” bokuto responded, putting his arm around you, “but for now, it’s dinner time.”

“from where?”

“osamu. hinata won a bet against atsumu and now we have free onigiris.”

hinata snickered in the kitchen while akaashi typed away on his laptop. your roommates really were the sweetest.

-

for the next two weeks, the class slowly started more and more labs. you and kuroo mostly stayed silent unless you needed to talk about what to do with various liquids or what solid formed from what. it was okay like this. he was tolerable, except when-

“you’re off by one mililliter.”

“what?”

“you heard me, you’re off by a milliliter.”

you turned to kuroo and your sight is met with his usual stoic expression, “does it even matter? this is a huge beaker and one milliliter is like nothing compared to the rest of the solution.”

“you want to get consistent results, don’t you? so stop being sloppy or else we’re both going to fail this class. you can’t treat this class like the way you treat your perfume.”

shock took over, then boiling anger.

“sloppy? you come here looking like a fucking rooster.”

“what do you mean?”

“have you brushed your fucking hair in the last 3 years? have you looked in the mirror?”

just one semester. one semester.

you calmly composed yourself, remembering that bokuto and hinata had planned a movie night. you can get through this stupid class period. -

“and he lost his shit over one fucking milliliter! can you believe it?”

akaashi listened as he poured the milk into your coffee. you always liked to visit the cafe during the slow hours to check up on your roomie. plus, the quiet atmosphere, the smell of pastries, and akaashi’s pretty face was the perfect setting for ranting about your stupid fucking lab partner.

“i don’t know, (y/n). he’s a bit of an asshole, but maybe he’s just meticulous. it could be a good thing, you know.”

“metic-a-what? i need you to translate your big boy vocabulary, kaash.”

“you know i hate that nickname.”

“yet you have no problem when bokuto calls you that. you’re warming up.” he sighed in response while you gave a toothy grin back up at him.

“you got me there. but what i’m trying to say is that he pays attention to small details. he looks at little intricacies, especially in your assignments.”

“intri-ca-what?”

-

the next month of chem went by fast. you and kuroo had little snarky remarks here and there, but nothing too bad. he was just less of an asshole for right now.

you sat in your usual spot with the same scent of vanilla lingering on you since the first day of school. the class period went by with the usual routine: notebook? check. pen? check. highlighters? check. asshole lab partner? check. until halfway through the lecture-

“shit.” the highlighter ink was running low, your notes were getting less and less vibrant. while you knew highlighting signified some kind of shallow understanding of the subject, color coding helped you organize your thoughts.

you made a note to yourself to buy a new pack the next day.

but then the next day came and there was already a new one at your desk. midliners, in fact, the ones with prettier colors. the ones that were slightly more expensive than your usual ones with a post it note that read your name on it. you had no problem with accepting this anonymous gift, picking it up with admiration shining in your eyes. now you can continue class with your usual routine: notebook? check. pen? check. highlighters? check. asshole lab partner? check.

-

“so no one was going to tell us that we were going to throw a party tonight?”

akaashi spoke sternly to the two children on the couch while you prepared some snacks. for a party. that you discovered was happening tonight. ten minutes ago.

“aghaaashi, we haven’t thrown one in awhile. plus, it’s been awhile since all of us drank together.” bokuto whined. hinata had his full puppy dog eyes on as if he was a little boy begging their dad for a puppy.

“fine. but if anyone throws up, you guys are the ones cleaning the bathroom.”

while akaashi turned around, the children celebrated by excitedly putting out their drinks. this was going to be a long night.

-

there’s some whores in this house. there’s some whores in this house. there’s some whores in this house.

dim lights? check. henny and sprite? check. meg thee stallion? check. the basic tools necessary for a fun night.

tsumu drunkenly held onto you as if you were some kind of pillar. who knew it only took a few shots for such a big man to lose his ability to walk straight?

“(y/n)!!! wap is playing!!!”

“i know, baby, it’s your song!!”

“i know damn well flattykawa isn’t stealing the fucking show!! hold my drink, babe.”

that’s when you kissed his cheek good luck and your buddy disappeared onto the dance floor. and your eyes were met with the sight of a pretty boy staring at you.

“kaashi, who’s that?” your roommate turned to you, the pretty boy, then back to you.

“semi eita. he was in one of my literature classes. he was also on the volleyball team at shiratorizawa in high school.”

“the one with big daddy ushiwaka?”

“yeah,” he grimaced, “he’s in a band now.”

“A BAND??”

“you know what? just remember to use protection-“

kaashi was interrupted by the sight of tsumu throwing it back to hinata. the tangerine haired child really was doing his best, but tsumu was a big man. although, he really did show oikawa up.

“shoyo is so small. is he going to be okay?”

“not my problem.”

your focus went back up to the blondish grey haired musician. ruffled hair, cuffed jeans, a loose shirt. semi eita. huh. you took your last sip and discarded the red solo cup. you took another peak at him. bedroom eyes.

“hey, (y/n), the guy in my math class just got here- oh.”

“i’m gonna have to meet him some other time, bokuto.”

kuroo poured himself another drink and immediately found bokuto full of energy and red faced from the alcohol. a hyena laugh filled the room at the sight of hinata and tsumu, until he scanned the rest of room and saw you. in the hallway. with some guy with grey hair. who you led to an empty room. his heart dropped a little, but he didn’t know why.

“hey, my roommate is kinda busy right now so i can’t really introduce you two,” bokuto apologized, “why do you look like that?”

“like what, owl head?”

“sad.” he spoke with concern.

“oh, i thought i saw this one girl from one of my classes. but it doesn’t matter. let’s go drink.”

-

not even ten minutes later, you were in your bedroom with the pretty grey haired musician, most of your clothes already on the floor. you straddled him and cupped his face as his lips met yours, then your neck, then your shoulder.

his fingers found their way into your panties, quickly finding your clit as he sucked the sweet spot on your neck.

“s-semi.” you whined, grinding on his hand.

“you wanna cum on my fingers first, babe?”

you nodded quickly, lips once again meeting his. he laid you down on your bed, head resting in the crook of your neck. you felt two fingers enter you as semi curled them, his thumb rubbing your clit. the pace was agonizingly slow, but the more vocal you were, the more he sped up.

“you’re so fucking wet, baby. you’re so fucking tight.” he mumbled in your ears.

his mouth made contact with your nipple, swirling his hot tongue over the hardened bud. his mouth continued to move south, eventually replacing his thumb. you felt his tongue circle your clit quickly as his fingers continued the assault on your g spot. you clenched around his fingers, letting out small whines as the coil in you began to tighten.

“i’m going to cum, semi.” you breathed out.

he let out a low groan of affirmation, “don’t hold back, then.” his fingers began to move faster, your g spot being hit even harder. his mouth was back on your clit, sucking the small nub harshly. your thighs began to shake as his fingers fucked you through your high.

he pulled his fingers and his mouth met yours once again, your teeth pulling on his bottom lip. his fingers were brought up to your lips and you sucked on them greedily. this was going to be one hell of a night.

-

the crackling sound of the oil filled your ears as akaashi cracked some eggs onto the pan. the smell of food and coffee drifted in the apartment. the morning after was always nice for you two since you guys rarely drank a ridiculous amount of alcohol. sure, you had to take out some trash and clean up here and there, but surprisingly, no one threw up last night.

“when do you think bokuto and hinata are going to wake up this time?” you asked sipping your coffee while akaashi added rice onto the pan.

“hinata’s awake, he just feels like shit. bokuto fell asleep in the bath tub, so you know the drill.”

you nodded, walking up to the fridge to make your classic hangover concoction. as if on cue, bokuto walked into the living room with his fingers pressed onto his temple and hair looking all sad.

“good morning, you baby.”

“you hooked up with semi, didn’t you?” bokuto responded with a smirk on his face.

“i did what?”

and that was the moment semi decided to emerge from your bedroom shamelessly. his hair was messy, his clothes were all disheveled, and the memories from last night hit you all at once. you didn’t even notice that he was sleeping next to you in your bed when you walked straight to the kitchen for breakfast.

“morning.” he smiled at you and gave you a peck on the cheek. bokuto snickered while akaashi was unphased by the interaction.

“morning.” you responded, your face getting hot as you recalled the events of last night. he was good. very good. you couldn’t deny the fact that he had some talented fingers. and a pretty good stroke game.

“you want any coffee?” akaashi offered, as semi headed towards the door.

“no, i’m good. i’m supposed to eat breakfast with wakatoshi.” he replied groggily. semi let out a yawn and bid bokuto and akaashi a farewell before he pulled you aside.

“thanks for last night. call me if you want to do it again some other time. or not.”

you nodded, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks as he left.

“(y/n), you fucking asshole!! you were supposed to get with the guy in my math class!! i knew him in high school he’s a big sweet nerd!” bokuto whined.

“yeah, yeah, i’ll meet him when there’s another party. me and semi were just a one time thing.” you brushed him off as you put all the ingredients in the blender for the hungover children.

-

“all of you are going to have to collaborate with your partner for this lab report.”

you threw your head back with a silent groan. this was going to be a long assignment. you looked to the asshole on your left. his face was expressionless as he looked back at you.

“i know you despise me, but we both want an A on this.”

you couldn’t disagree with him. he had become more tolerable the past few months, often lending you notes that you had missed with the addition of some snarky comment. plus, you often got good scores on your assignments, some of his insight being helpful. at this point, you had developed the habit of going to the cafe akaashi worked at after to rant. he would make you some coffee, lend you some advice, and calm you down as you ranted about your asshole lab partner. it was a whole routine.

“fine. the cafe after class. my friend works there and it isn’t too crowded.”

“okay.”

the rest of the class period went by in the blink of an eye and you finally found yourselves entering the small shop. the scent of coffee and pastries filled your nostrils and a sense of happiness and familiarity flowed through your veins.

“kuroo?” akaashi furrowed his eyebrows.

“kaaaashi!!” he responded excitedly, “i didn’t know you worked here.”

“well, i gotta make money somehow. plus, (y/n) here likes to snag some free coffee during my shifts.” akaashi narrowed his eyes at you.

“wait, you two know each other?” you asked. how did this asshole know your sweet, stoic roommate?

“our volleyball teams played a lot in high school. i used to practice with bokuto and akaashi. you’re their roommate?”

the barista nodded as he prepared your iced coffee, “i was just at your party a week ago. small world.”

kuroo looked at you and the puzzle pieces came together in his head. so this was the cute roommate bokuto boasted about. not bad.

“how do you two know each other?”

“he’s my lab partner.” you grumbled quietly.

“you wanna say that a little louder, sweetheart?”

you flinched at the nickname while kaashi tried his best to hide a smile. it was a small world indeed.

the next few hours were spent sitting across from kuroo, entering data, highlighting important results, interpreting the recorded numbers. it was plain busy work in a cafe, but it oddly felt warm. when it came to writing about applications, kuroo seemed a little better than just tolerable. you would have an idea and he wouldn’t shut it down. instead, he engaged in them and spoke with intent. you would make a small connection to an environmental solution and his face would light up and his eyes would widen in excitement. the input that followed was filled with insight and it almost felt like his heart would pour out. he really did live and breathe chemistry. it was nice to see someone just as passionate as you are.

the bell of the cafe rang signifying another customer. you instinctively looked up, your face immediately lighting up.

“tsum-tsum!!” you jumped excitedly, “i haven’t seen you since you threw back to hinata bokuto’s party!!”

“please do not remind me,” he said with a disappointed sigh, but quickly turned back to his trademark smirk, “but did i look better than flattykawa?” he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“no.”

“wow, that was cold.”

while tsumu ordered his muffin, you let kuroo know that you were going to take a small ten minute break to catch up with tsumu to which he responded with a grumble.

you quickly got up and sat at another table with tsumu, quickly catching up about the past week and telling him all about kuroo.

“ooo (y/n), you wanna kiss him so bad? he probably wants it, too. i can feel his death glares.” tsumu said with a wide grin and raised eyebrows.

“what? no! that’s my asshole lab partner!” you whisper yelled back.

“whatever you say. the fact you two hate each other thickens the sexual tension, baby girl,” tsumu stood up and placed a kiss on your cheek, “remember to come to my volleyball game on friday, there’s gonna be a party at later that night. i’m sure bokuto told you already.”

you nodded and pulled him into a hug before he left.

“so miya atsumu, huh?” kuroo spoke up as you returned with your iced coffee.

“what about him?”

“you’re dating? i don’t see another reason to waste time that could be used on a project that’s worth a good chunk of our grade.” he replied snarkily.

“he’s a friend, i don’t see why you need to be a dick about me wanting to catch up with a friend.” your head hurt. fifteen minutes ago, he was sweet and insightful. but now, he was a cold asshole again. what the fuck was this guy’s problem?”

“well maybe you should stop slutting around with your ‘friends’ while we’re supposed to be working.” you scoffed. slutting around? is he fucking serious?

“i can’t believe i thought you were a sweet person for a few hours. i can’t stay here if i’m just going to get slut shamed for the rest of our work time. i’ll see you in class tomorrow, you fucking asshole.”

you got up and checked up on akaashi who was already clocking out. he was going to get an earful on the way home tonight.

-

“(y/n), you better not hook up with anyone tonight. you’re meeting my classmate tonight and i don’t want to have to tell him that you were ‘busy’ again.” bokuto pointed at you with a stern look on his face.

“yeah okay, ko.”

“good.”

you walked out to the living room with some light makeup and a skirt. hinata’s eyes lit up as he sped towards you. akaashi rolled his eyes while bo coughed.

“(y/n), you look so pretty!! when did you get that skirt? oh my!!” hinata poked and bombarded you with compliments and questions like the sweet child he is.

“(y/n), why are you wearing your horny stress outfit?” akaashi asked, glaring at the skirt.

“my what?”

“whenever you want to relieve some stress by hooking up with someone, you wear a skirt, dummy,” bo explained, “oh no. the victim better be my math buddy.”

you huffed. sure, they weren’t wrong, but still.

“is this about your lab partner?” akaashi questioned, pulling you aside from bokuto and shoyo.

“maybe,” you paused, “okay, yeah, but there’s been so much tension after that incident and i hate it. it’s stressing me out and the project is due in a few days. let me hook up with bo’s friend.”

“fine.”

-

dim lights? check. henny and sprite? check. meg thee stallion? check. the basic tools necessary for another fun night. now, you were just waiting for bo’s nerd friend to appear.

“tsum tsum!!” you yelled happily, immediately jumping into the arms of one of your best friends.

“i’m glad you made it, (y/n), i missed your ass,” he kissed your cheek, “so who’s the victim tonight?”

“bo’s friend if he’s into that. i’m supposed to be meeting him here.”

“ohhh, the nerdy one, right?”

you nodded while taking a sip of your drink. you already felt more relaxed from the environment of the party. plus, a faint scent of weed filled your nose. it was probably from suna.

“kuroo-san!!” bokuto called out. wait. did you hear him correctly?

“bokuto-san!!” oh, no.

“(y/n), come here! this is my friend from high school! the math one-”

you and kuroo stared at each other, his face expressionless, yours morphing into disbelief. everything bokuto said drowned in the background noise of the party. and suddenly, you connected the dots. oh shit.

“y-you!” you pointed at him, unable to form a full sentence.

“me?”

“yeah, you!”

bokuto paused and watched the scene happening in front of him, “you two know each other?”

“he’s my lab partner, you dumbass!” you yelled while bokuto’s hair spiked up in nervousness. he decided to slowly back away and find hinata before something happened to him.

you poured more henny into your red solo cup and prepared another drink for kuroo. yeah, he was an ass, but you might as well give him a chance to loosen up. maybe get an apology. you held out the cup to him and he muttered a small thank you.

“so,” he started, “our project is due in a few days.”

you sat down next to him while mindlessly playing with the ends of your skirt, “yeah, i guess.” you two sat in awkward silence for another minute.  

“look, asshole-”

“i was just about the apologize, but then you decided to bitch again-”

“you didn’t talk and i want to leave this situation immediately so i can go hook up with-”

“with semi? with atsumu? is that the reason you came?”

“you’ve been on my goddamn nerves lately, i think i’m allowed to sleep with whoever i want so that i can relieve some-”

you were cut off by a pair of soft lips on yours. maybe it was the alcohol, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. the taste of liquor and something sweet on his mouth was intoxicating and you wanted more of it. but you hated him. he was your asshole lab partner after all. but he was also an excellent kisser. kuroo pulled away quickly, but before he can say anything, you spoke.

“what the fuck was that, kuroo?”

“i don’t know, but do you want to do it again?”

“...yes.”

and so you both got up, drunkenly stumbling to a random room. you were immediately pushed onto a bed, kuroo sucking on the spot below your ear as he pinned your body down to the bed.

“you know, i fucking hate the smell of vanilla, but because of you, it’s become one of my favorite scents,” you blushed at the comment as he pulled down your underwear beneath your skirt, “lace, huh? were you planning to get laid?”

“you’ve been stressing me out, what do you fucking think?” you responded with an attitude.

he began rubbing your clit in small circles and you let out a small sigh of relief, “so, you’re a fucking brat, huh? is this how it’s going to go?”

“well, you’re a fucking asshole, so i don’t know how else you expected this to happen.” he pressed harder and quickened his pace as you mewled under him. he found the sweet spot on your neck and began to suck harshly. you felt two fingers enter you slowly while thumb continued the assault on your clit.

“f-faster, tetsuro,” you cried out as he sucked more hickies onto your neck. he curled his fingers and assaulted your g-spot harshly while you clenched on his fingers.

“you’re already close, i can tell,” and then he halted his movements, “but i don’t think you deserve to cum yet.” you whined.

and with that, he entered his fingers into your sensitive cunt once again, kissing his way down your body until he reached your clit which he greedily sucked. you let out small whimpers and moans and you swore you felt him smirk. then a sudden feeling of emptiness.

“fuck you!” you pushed kuroo off of you, getting on top and straddling his lap, “i’ll make myself cum.”

your lips met in a heated kiss and he groaned as you grinded on his clothed crotch, “you’re a fucking brat.”

“i don’t care. shut the fuck up and let me sit on your face.”

he brought your pussy up to his head and gripped your thighs ensuring that you would stay in place while you lifted up your skirt. you felt kitten licks on your clit which only made you go lower until you were able to feel more of his tongue. he licked a strip from your pussy back up to your nub, sucking it harshly. you let out another moan, gripping his hair which only egged him on. the wet muscle found its way into your pussy and fucked you deliciously.

“fuck, tetsu, i’m coming-”

with the sounds you made, your skirt, your tits, and the feeling of your pussy on his mouth, kuroo thought he was going to cream his pants. you shamelessly grinded on his face until the knot in your stomach became tighter and tighter until it eventually broke.

you removed yourself from his face and appreciated the image of your juices on his face, his thick lashes, and sharp cheekbones, until you snapped out of it and went to work on discarding his pants. slipping off his underwear, his cock sprang free. pre cum spilled from the pink tip. sucking a hickey on his inner thigh, you took his cock into your hand, slowly moving it up and down to agitate him as he thrusted into your fist. taking the tip in your mouth, you sucked gently until his hands found themselves tangling into your hair and pushed your head down until he hit the back of your throat.

“you look so good with your mouth stuffed full of my cock,” you sucked in your cheeks and he let out another groan, “who knew this was the way to get you to shut the fuck up.”

you could only moan at his response, sending vibrations down his dick. your head bobbed up and down until you pulled him out of your mouth. you smirked, drool and pre cum dripping down your chin, knowing you gave him a taste of his own medicine.

bringing up your lips to his ear, you spoke, “how does it feel now?”

he replied by pushing down onto the bed and pinning down your wrists. you could feel his tip rubbing your clit, “i was planning to cum in your pussy anyways, slut.”

you felt yourself get wetter at the sound of his voice until he swiftly pushed himself, instantly bottoming out. the stretch stung, but the mix of pleasure and pain had you wanting more. your skirt cinched around your waist, the sight making him even harder.

“fuck, you’re so tight, baby,” he gave you another kiss before he pulled out all the way and snapped his hips back into you.

his mouth made it way onto your hardened nipple, swirling the bud with his tongue as he set a fast pace for his thrusts. you were vocal, whining every time he buried his cock inside of you. wanting you closer, kuroo harshly grabbed your ass and pulled your body into a new position that hit deeper into you.

“you’re a fucking slut, you know that?” his pace quickened. you were a babbling mess, your breasts bouncing and the knot in your stomach tightening. the sound of your moans and skin slapping against skin filled the room as you came closer to your high. his hand squeezed the sides of you neck firmly. the only thing you were able to feel was him.

“you think atsumu can fuck you like this?”

you were unable to respond coherently as he pounded harder into you, your legs wrapping his waist as you came again. he kept going.

“how about i make you cum again, brat?”

“i-i don’t think i can,” you whimpered.

“sure, you can,” he gripped your hips tighter, the tip of his cock hitting your cervix. you felt completely spent, but he refused to quit. he brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing it harshly in fast circles and you felt your second high coming.

“f-fuck (y/n).” he let out a final groan as your pussy milked his cock while you saw stars.

kuroo laid on the bed while you two distanced yourselves. you didn’t know what to say, so you scanned your surroundings.

“shit.” you muttered. “what?”

“this is atsumu’s room.”

you both looked at each other for a few seconds before he let out a hyena laugh. you giggled along with him.

“how do you know?”

“i’ve been in here before. just didn’t quite register where we were. we could have fucked in a closet and i wouldn’t notice.” you answered in a light tone.

“so, you’ve been in atsumu’s room before?”

“i mean, yeah. to hang out and stuff,” you turned to him, “why do you care so much?”

“well i thought that reason was obvious considering we just had sex,” he grumbled, “now we’re three feet apart and everything feels awkward.”

“i mean i couldn’t tell if it was just sexual tension from hate or if you actually liked me. it’s kind of hard to tell considering other.. events?”

“well, i like you. i thought you were pretty ever since the first day i met you. i just didn’t know how to tell you so i insulted your perfume and gave you some highlighters,” he rubbed the back of neck, “sorry.” he added quietly.

“sorry,” he looked at you in shock, “for, uh, calling you an asshole, i guess.” you mumbled looking back at him.

“i’m also sorry for calling you a slut. i might have been a bit jealous when i saw you with atsumu. and semi that one night.” he awkwardly laughed and looked the opposite direction.

so he wasn’t good with his words. you scooted your body closer to him and wrapped your arms around him as you got into position to straddle his lap. your head rested on the crook of his neck and his breath hitched.

“don’t worry. you don’t have to say anything.” you kissed the spot below his ear and beamed at him when you pulled away. he swore his heart skipped a beat.

“why are you blushing?” you asked, smirking up at him.

“it’s the ethanol,” he said quickly attempting to hide his face by looking away, “you know how alcohol makes your face turn red and stuff.”

“is the alcohol also the only reason we just fucked?”

“n-no!”

“then do you want to go another round?” you asked innocently, grinding on him once again.

“ye-”

“(y/n)? what the fuck did you and rooster head do in my bed?”

[honesthammie]

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

[spado-the-pomeranian]

Well, g ű l p, I made myself a jjba OC, for Vento Aureo, of course. S o o o this is quite a longread with some stupid jokes and deep symbolism (no) (btw english is my second language so... there may be mistakes and weird phrases in some places, sorry)

Name: Antonina "Nina" Kormyltseva

Namesake:

Antonina is a slavic name with a greek origin, meaning "resisting" and "joining the battle".

Short form, Nina, referring to german punk singer Nina Hagen ( I took some bits and pieces from her 80s looks and her appearance in general).

Kormyltseva is referring to Ilya Kormyltsev, russian poet and lyricist of a famous soviet/russian band "Nautilus Pompilius" (they had quite a rebellious songs, ya know; thus both name and surname gives her a Rebel Rebel vibe).

Age: 23

Birth date: 10.27.1977

Zodiac sign: Scorpio

MBTI: ENTP (Says a lot about her (and our society))

Height: 183cm (6' in feet, if I'm not mistaken)

Hair colour: Her natural hair colour is something like light chestnut, but she bleached her hair and then dyed them blue (dye your hair blue only if you have clear base, kids, otherwise you gonna get a weird dirty pond colour)

Eye colour: Hazel

Occupation: Police Officer (formerly) (in Russia), Private Investigator (in Russia, later in Italy)

Home country: Soviet Union/Russia (because USSR collapsed in the 1991 when Nina was like 14 or something I am bad at math)

Stand: 「 PEEK-A-BOO」 (after Siouxsie And The Banshees song, a theme of "somebody's watching you from the dark", desire to remain invisible, voyeuristic tones etc). Stand gives Nina an ability to travel through shadows (much like Black Sabbath, yup, but in that case it is a power type stand). Stand has a secondary ability named 「 KILLING JAR 」 (still Siouxsie And The Banshees reference, a kind of Nina's "private prison"; killing jar actually is a devise used by entomologists to kill a specimen, a metaphor for a controlled violence): it allows Nina to turn people into a shadows. People in a shadow state can't interact with outside world, but they still can see and talk to Nina (if she tortures someone with her ability, she simply ignores them, using physical violence in rare occasions only (when she feels like it)). To keep a living being in a shadow state Nina needs a concentration. The amount of it varies from person to person; non-standusers, for example, are much easier to keep, though strong-willed people (ya know, like Bruno, for another example) are able to escape.

Also, she uses a shadow space in her jacket to store some things (like camera, voice recorder, phone, electro shoker, checks from stores etc.)

Music theme (of sorts): The Quaterdrawing of a Dog — Siouxsie And The Banshees

I've specifically listened to some of the DP adaptation (and ASB) canon characters themes and decided that Nina need one too. This track perfectly describes her with it's tense (waterphone intro, yay), yet somehow chill and melodical synth and guitar sound. And this sweet whistle sound... chef's kiss.

So um... About her origin. (there are a lil bit of violence, just a warning)

She was born in Moscow, in middle class family. Her father was a programmer and her mother worked as a seamstress. Also, she has an younger sister, who at some point in the future became a fashion model (because for some reason I thought that a contrast between two sisters would be quite funny).

Her father was kinda absent during Nina's childhood because of work. At home though, he unconsciously over-controlled her and other family members, sometimes being verbally abusive and manipulative. At some point in 90s, he started to drink alcohol to cope with stress of economic crisis, which was caused by collapse of Soviet economy and a fast pace of "shock therapy". Nina hated him because all of that (though, she constantly feels guilty about it).

On the other hand, she loved her mother and sister grately. They were her role models, even though she'd grown up nothing like either of them.

Since childhood, she was fascinated with crime cases and mysteries, and that's why she went to study for a police officer. But she didn't stay as one for long: sexism, "glass ceiling" and overall corrupted system forced her to become a private investigator.

One day she was hired to investigate a domestic violence case: powerful rich man crippled his wife out of jealousy and tried to get away with it. Nina helped in building a strong case, but the man escaped punishment by bribing (and threatening) the jury.

Nina, being a hypocrite and a desperate human being a big friend of justice and a vigilant, decides to avenge the crippled clientess by maiming her abuser. However, the man dies during the torture, and Nina, in a state of shock, tried to get rid of the body, unsuccessfully. She was caught and sent to prison, where she lived through some shit and nearly got killed.

But she also gained a stand, that's pretty cool.

With a help of her newfound ability she escapes, collects her belongings and flies to Naples (the only foreign city she was in once, because of her sisters work). She works as a PI, although most of her cases are "my spouse is acting strangely, he/she is probably cheating on me, check it out".

Aaaaand actually... I was planning to write a huuuuge funny angsty cool bizarre and d e e p detective story of how she worked with bucci gang (with little funny encounters with other canon characters) (and with more badass OCs of mine😎). Someday I will.......

A bit more about her as a person I guess?(+ random facts)

Her exterior might look cold, but in all actuality she is very sociable and fun to hang out with.

She is extremely sarcastic and loves to make fun of people (lovingly, of course).

She is caring and clingy towards people she trusts (and it's pretty hard for her to trust, she's a scorpio) . If she trusts you, she'll show you a lot of attention, both physical and verbal.

She is a kind of chameleon: she tries to behave in such a way as to win people over (although sometimes she misreads them).

Awfully, awfully petty. Won't try to harm you if you wronged her, though she'll be very mean towards you and probably will spit in your coffee.

Has a tendency to be biased towards some people (*cough cough* mafia dudes for example *cough cough*).

Paranoid and suspicious because of her job and past experiences.

E x t r e m e l y c u r i o u s. She longs to know everything about everyone, so she uses her stand to spy on people she finds interesting... she is creepy lady, uh-huh.,.,.,.,

Keeps her vulnerable side to herself. Probably won't openly speak about her feelings. Rare occasions only. Very rare.

Peek-A-Boo, unlike her user, is adorkable little baby :). She is much more open and friendly, expressing Nina's caring cute side. I keep imagining how Peek-A-Boo climbs everywhere, looking-touching-shifting different things out of curiosity. (Probably she is ENFP, lol)

Nina has a collection of photos of weird people on her laptop.

She's a pretty good singer. Also, she can play synth (one hand only... but she tries!).

Her favorite musician is Nick Cave, she resonates with his goth sad bastrad music... She likes Siouxsie And The Banshees as well, BUT that's obvious, yeah... She likes music in general, can tell you thousand cool facts, can name you thousand obscure bands.

Feminist queen

Uses lots of metaphors in her speech. She says that it's her "russian" habit since she grew in Soviet Union where it was hard to freely express your opinion directly... or maybe she's just pretentious, who knows.

She has a lot of plants in her flat, though she doesn't really know how to take care of them. That's why they die so often. (Symbolism? Yep.) But she has a cactus named Budgie. Peek-A-Boo likes it vvv much. She tried to take it outside with her few times. Nina said no. ( "Let me see what you have?" "A cactus!" " N O.")

Associates herself with a dog. It's her favorite animal. ( I even named her playlist as a "woof woof bork bork")

Her favorite film is "Beware of the Car"(1966). Fav book is "Les Misérables".

The most important fact. She likes pineapple pizza. She fights Italians because of the pineapple pizza. "It's tasty, you guys aRE JUST MEAN."

That's it folks. Thank you very much for reading, you are cool. You can ask me something about OC in comments,.,.,.(about her design👀).,.,.,.,. Or you can just ask anything.

[bitchiha]

✎ Naruto x types of Tik Tokers

A/N: My friend told me to write the Naruto Characters as types of TikTokers so here we go ;-; I kinda fuck w it tbh Requests and ships are open! *send an ask of who I should do next!*

Naruto Uzumaki

Naruto is the god of gen z humour and that is on periodt

He would make the most pointless fucking videos ever and people (including yours truly) would laugh their ass off

Like a video of his toe with the disco lights filter and then the last second is a picture of a frog with way too many saturated filters and a random word like ‘ramen’

And it gets 2 million likes

He also rates ramen on it and will get in heated debates with people over it

Will probably post a vid of a new justu he learned and then Tsunade would have to force him to delete it because it could give enemies an advantage if they see his skills

Breaks his phone more than 200 times trying to use his Rasengan as a Tik Tok transition

Def has a series called “roasting people in the Leaf village”

“Next is Kiba, yah I know what you’re thinking and yes, he smells like dog and bonus! He acts like one too!”

“Then we have Lee, aka bushy brow. I think this picture of him speaks for itself”

Ends up getting chased by other villagers w pitchforks after he drops a roast video

Can’t learn tiktok dances for shit but will have the audios playing over eachother in his head at 3x speed when he trains

Will take videos of Kakashi bc the girls love it and it always gets him on the fyp

Has a series called “pt _ of trying to see what’s under Kakashis mask”

He knows all the trends and memes

Tbh he applies more effort into tiktok than his own life

Has a shit load of followers (1 mil+) and never lets anyone forget it

also he’s such a barb.. like it’s unreal

Raps Nicki songs and films it in three times speed for the British gurl effect

Shikamaru Nara

Probably has some sort of like reaction acc and says he got the app as a joke

Meanwhile he really enjoys it like he spends a good chunk of his day on it

Likes duetting videos from the weird side of tiktok with sarcastic remarks or a reaction pic

Trolls the shit out of any leaf shinobi on the app

Like he will duet their videos and just embarrass the shit out of them

Whether it’s roasting them, exposing them or whatever

He has to make constant new accounts bc they always block him or he gets banned

which is such a drag but it’s also worth it bc he gets a kick out of being a troll

Always on the weird side of tiktok

Anything he comments will be a top comment w a good couple hundred likes

Spends most a lot of time looking at Temaris TikToks bc she’s cute

Like Naruto, he is up to date w all the memes and trends — in fact he probably starts some

But never gets cred for it bc he constantly needs to make new accs

Literally his usernames are just Shikamaru1, Shikamaru2, Shikamaru3 and so on for each acc he has to make

Other than troll posts, he makes an occasional rant post about his mom or any shinobi that tells him to do work

And the comments will all be like “yes unmotivated king!” “Give us nothing!” “And that’s on being lazy”

Has dedicated followers that constantly follow his new accs

on the fyp a lottt which is kinda weird but makes sense.. I mean he’s smart enough to figure out TikToks algorithm

Sasuke Uchiha

I think we all seen this coming..

Maybe I’m a bit overboard but this is supposed to be funny

So here we go: HES A FUCKING EBOY

LIKE BDBDJSJSJS

Stop and like I picture him doin those tiktok transitions to a lil peep song and he has like 39 rings on his fingers

Gets trolled non stop by Shika, Kiba and Naruto

But at the end of the day ALL and I mean ALL the females on tiktok are drooling over him

Thinks he’s being so deep and edgy but it’s low key cringe

Everyone ignores that factor tho bc mans is hot

Let’s Shikamaru and naruto troll him bc his fan army will literally attack them

Wears chains, hella rings, just all the eboy drip

Girls think he’s a vampire and it makes their thirst even stronger ( mine too!! :* I am a whore afterall <3)

Does TikToks to Lana Del Rey songs

Will never ever ever ever post a tiktok dance, but he secretly knows all of them

Doesn’t keep up w the trends too much aside from the dances

tbh like he mostly just hops on to make a weird sad grungey video and then leaves

It drives naruto and kiba up the wall at how famous he is like he is always a million followers ahead of Naruto

And he doesn’t even try like wtf

His captions are always like: ☠️⚡️⛓🗡

Constantly on the fyp

Girls love how he gives them 0 attention, like he never responds to / likes comments, never duets videos, never goes live

But he still has a huge ass following

So many fan girls it’s unreal and like he’s so fucking mean to them but they still go back for more

It’s like they enjoy it!! Ik I do