#‘it’s actually quite funny when he’s being rude to other people isn’t it’?

[thetarttfuldickhead]

I think there’s a lot of unmined potential in Jamie being conditioned to prick out when he’s flipped off, ‘cause if the team’s doing the rounds some late night after a win and some random dude decides to give Jamie the finger then—

[ts4ritsa]

༊*·˚ cold + unapproachable s/o who has a soft side for them

ft. makoto naegi, hajime hinata, shuichi saihara, & kaede akamatsu from danganronpa * ˚ ✦

tags / cw ✎ male!reader in mind but is pretty much gn, established relationship, fluff, reader is easily angered and quick to defend s/o, headcanons, not proofread, may be ooc, requested

MAKOTO NAEGI ✰

a lot of people say you and makoto are the grumpy and sunshine trope — and they would be right. you, someone who is closed off and unapologetically cold towards others, with someone as upbeat and kind-hearted as makoto? your classmates would say they’d like to be surprised, but that kind of pairing isn’t uncommon nowadays

makoto thinks their opinions are funny, taking them lightheartedly. he knows you are indifferent about them, but he enjoys mentioning it every once in a while, enjoying the little smirk he might elicit from you instead of the scoff you give other people when they make such comments

besides that, makoto couldn’t be more happy to be in a relationship with you. he considers himself extraordinarily lucky, being able to attract a guy like you. whenever you get affectionate with him behind closed doors, he’s just can’t help but become a blushing and giggly mess. yes, he appreciates everything you do for him and reciprocates in full

he doesn’t ramble that much about stuff and usually enjoys hearing you talk instead; also is really interested in trying out the foods you enjoy

in the event that someone is disrespecting and being blatantly rude to makoto, he tries to not let it get to him but it does hurt — though he immediately snaps out of his thoughts because he realizes he has to de-escalate the situation since you are always dead set on defending him and returning the insults to the other person

makoto appreciates your��� commitment towards him, promise! but he tells you he’d rather you use a more peaceful approach while chuckling awkwardly

HAJIME HINATA ✰

hajime’s personality paired with yours is quite the dynamic, but you compliment each other well. both of you are relatively reserved, perceived as aloof and kooky, and although hajime isn’t an expert with people he certainly seems like he is when you both are together in public

honestly, hajime finds it very surprising — how uncaring and standoffish you are with other people but how warm and attentive you are with him and only him. in a way it boosts his pride

tries to keep up with your affectionate gestures as much as he can, but he can be left quite speechless at just how much love you can give him. still he accepts it in full

you can both just talk for hours on end, secretly it’s hajime’s favorite thing to do with you

for dates he enjoys going to what’s been recently popular since exploring and reviewing is fun with you around and he can give you his honest thoughts while also being curious on what you have to say

when getting into an argument with another person and they get heated, he gets easily irritated but remains level-headed. though when you insert yourself and defend him like your life depends on it he secretly finds that delightful and helpful

you and him pretty much always win whatever quarrels you find yourselves in since he’s quick to prove them wrong and you’re quick with your comebacks

though hajime will thank you he’ll probably tell you it’s better to not openly show them that they hit a nerve with their words

SHUICHI SAIHARA ✰

shuichi can’t believe he pulled someone like you. despite the both of you having a more withdrawn nature, you’re practically different in almost every other aspect. but he isn’t one to complain — after all, shuichi’s feelings for you are just as strong as yours are for him

finds it really endearing that you show him a more gentle and kind side of you. he tries to hide how much it makes him feel all warm inside but the tint of red on his cheeks along with a silly smile give it all away

actually really loves that you let him ramble about what’s on his mind. well, even if he doesn’t technically ramble, he is a very thoughtful person deep down and it’s refreshing to be able to talk freely without being judged

appreciates each and every gift that you give him, though every time you do get him something he insists you you’re spoiling him and he usually finds a way to gift you something right back

shuichi couldn’t be more happy with you, really, you make him feel like he’s won the lottery, and in return he wants to show his love for you in any way he can, any way that you’ll let him. he tries to hide how strong his feelings are to his classmates but they can see right through him, it’s pretty funny

though sometimes shuichi feels low-key intimidated by you, especially when you get into fights with other people. he is fully aware that you do not hold back with your insults, and tries to calm you down, yet it doesn’t really do anything to stop the argument. usually he just lets you settle it in your own way and lets you cool off with him after, complimenting your stubbornness but suggesting you try to avoid getting into trouble

KAEDE AKAMATSU ✰

another sun and moon! all of your classmates and kaede’s friends like to joke about the contrasts between you two, and while kaede herself thinks it is pretty amusing, she brushes them off since they can be a bit of a handful and she doesn’t want them to bother you about it since she knows how you are

kaede really adores your personality, more specifically the way you treat her so special compared to regular people. she gives you special treatment in return, unabashedly too. does not care who sees her pouring her heart out on you, she’d rather focus on the guy of her dreams that’s right in front of her!!!

definitely takes advantage of you listening to whatever she has to say. she likes to bring up trivial matters and silly topics that have been on her mind and just go on small but passionate rants about them. definitely asks you questions too and feels more enabled when you simply nod and agree

oh and kaede just melts whenever you give her gifts! it’s the cutest thing to her. she’ll shower you with affection again and again, praising you for your kindness

kaede may come off as simple and non-serious with her affection, but it really comes from the heart. behind closed doors she really loves having quiet intimate moments with you. ex. cuddling while mumbling sweet nothings as you both are on the verge of falling asleep

if someone ever insults kaede, she usually just returns the energy and laughs it off. but when you both first started dating she found it hard to just dismiss things since you were quick to bite back even harder — which she found interesting. it kind of sparked something in her to be more openly taunting when people tried to start something with her. however she does still prefer to remain composed and not make much of it after

©2024 ts4ritsa | req by anon

[artistmarchalius]

Cockney Rhyming Slang! ✨

I’ve seen a good amount of rhyming slang from Hobie in fics and I love to see it! I love language and slang; I find the origins and usage of words fascinating, so I thought I’d make a little post about it to offer up some knowledge, tips and suggestions that I hope will be helpful or interesting to both those currently incorporating it in fics, as well as to those who want to use it but might not know where to start. Or even to those who don’t write but want to know!

So here we go!

First, a very brief history!

Cockney rhyming slang originated from the East End of London in the early 19th century. It was originally used by Cockneys so they could speak in front of the police without being understood and was very handy if you had some dodgy dealings going on. It has since passed into common language and is no longer restricted to use by Cockneys.

So you can see why it would make sense for Hobie to know a lot of it if he’s running around rebelling against a corrupt government run by supervillains!

How does it work?

Cockney rhyming slang works by taking a word and using a rhyming phrase of about two to three words to replace it. For example: “Daisy roots” means “boots” and “Ones and twos” means “shoes”.

There can be multiple phrases used for the same word, for example: both “Trouble and strife” and “Duchess of Fife” mean “wife”.

A Cockney rhyming slang tip:

A little shortcut to make your Cockney rhyming slang more authentic to a day to day Brit is to only use the first word in the phrase. For example:

If I wanted to write “Use your head”, I could write “Use your loaf of bread” and that would be accurate, but it would be even more accurate to just say “Use your loaf”.

Another example:

“I haven’t got a clue”, which if you’ve seen Across the Spider-Verse, you would know is “I haven’t got a Scooby Doo”, is commonly shortened to “I haven’t got a Scooby”. This actually threw me off when I saw it in the cinema and I never knew why until I learned about the “first word rule” in an East End documentary the other night 😂

Other examples:

Bread and honey = money. “I don’t have enough bread for that.”

Rabbit and pork = talk. “He don’t half rabbit on”. Chas and Dave wrote a song called Rabbit, which is a bit casually rude towards women as many things from the 80’s can be, but it did give us the line “You’ve got more rabbit than Sainsbury’s“ which I find quite funny.

Butchers hook = look. “Let’s take a butchers at that”

Donkeys ears = years. “I haven’t seen you in donkeys!”

I believe that back in the day, only using the first word of the phrase was an added level of secrecy to keep the police from knowing what you were talking about since it took away the rhyming portion of the phrase which the police might have been able to guess the meaning of. Only those who knew the rest of the phrase would know what the other was talking about. It has since become a more common practice to the point where many people don’t even realise they’re doing it (as I did until recently).

However, it is still perfectly acceptable to use the full phrase. For example, I’ve called someone on the old “dog and bone” (phone) and I’ve heard the stairs be called “apples and pears” but not really just “apples”.

Other examples:

Donkeys ears = years. “I haven’t seen you in donkeys!” as mentioned above. It’s also commonly mistaken for Donkeys Years. “I haven’t seen you in donkeys years”. Although technically it isn’t the full phrase, I’d say this still counts.

Shortening and adaptations:

Over time, some of the phrases have been shortened and adapted to form new slang. For example:

Bottle and stopper = copper (police). I’ve seen a lot of use of bottle and stopper in fanfics and that’s perfectly acceptable. However, the phrase is more commonly shortened to “Bottle” or adapted to “Bluebottle” or “Mr Bluebottle” due to the colour of their uniforms. Also, “bluebottle mob” can be used to mean the police force.

Another example of shortened and adapted Cockney rhyming slang is:

“Pork pies” = lies. More commonly shortened to “Porkies”. E.g. “she’s telling porkies.”

Here are some other slang words that have their origins in Cockney pronunciation:

Wotcher - an informal greeting originating from the Cockney contraction of “what cheer” (basically meaning “hello” or “what’s up?”). E.g. “Wotcher.”

Bruv/Bruvver - brother. Used the same way one would say “bro”. Bruvver is a cockney pronunciation of “brother” which has been shorted to the more commonly used “bruv”. E.g. “Good to see ya, bruv!”

And there you go, some quick knowledge about Cockney rhyming slang! I don’t claim to be an expert on the topic, a true Cockney would know far more than I do, but I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring and share the knowledge I do have in the hopes that it will help or entertain someone.

I’ll make another post going into police specific slang terms since that seems to be something that is intrinsically tied to the Spiderman experience, as well as Hobie’s, even more so as an anarchist arachnid, fascist punching punk rebel.

I might also make another post about general British slang words. Let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in or if there’s a specific area that you’d like to know about!

[invaderzia1]

Horns (Wyll x Tiefling!Reader)

After breaking his promise to Mizora, Wyll navigates life as a brand new Tiefling. Luckily for him, he has support in his tiefling friends.

yes I’m aware the game isn’t out yet but I really liked that scene with Wyll and Mizora. Also this is set in act 1

Since disobeying Mizora, Wyll had been rather moody. Nobody could really blame him, not after the way she stormed into their camp and basically turned him into a tiefling, laughing about how some magic even she can’t fix. She left him with rather hefty horns on his head, leaving him to figure out how to navigate life with them by himself and laughing about how it’ll affect his reputation as the blade. So nobody was surprised when the heavy horns caused Wyll to struggle with his balance and maneuvering through his recent days, but they rather kept to themselves, all having other things to deal with then offer support to the poor man.

Except, you had been watching him. You had always found him quite charming and handsome, it honestly made you quite glad that he accepted traveling with you and the rest of your companions.

It had been a week since the incident and you’ve kept a close eye on Wyll, giving him space to process everything. But being a tiefling yourself, you couldn’t help but notice the lack of care he is giving his new horns. You knew what happened when people didn’t take care of them correctly, having suffered the consequences of failing to properly take care of your own.

Wyll is stood by the river near camp, having finished cleaning himself and getting ready to join the others for whatever food Gale decided to cook up. He barely even notices you sneak up behind him, too busy staring at himself in the reflection of the lake, still not used to his visual changes.

“You know, you gotta take care of them.” Your voice startled Wyll, causing him to jump slightly before turning to look at you. “Can’t just pretend they aren’t there or they’ll grow weird or get too brittle.” You moved closer to him, trying yo be cautious around him while assessing his new horns. “Kind of hard to tell right now what they’ll do, but I have some extra things if you need them.”

“What?” Wyll says in disbelief, almost self conscious about you having noticed how poor he’s cared for them the past couple days.

“If you don’t take care of them they might start grow weird.” You walk over, trying to get a better look at how his horns seems to be growing. “Or, they’ll become brittle and start to chip off.” Reaching up, you cautiously bring your hand to his right horn, but refusing to touch it until Wyll gave consent.

It takes Wyll a few seconds of going through his emotions before he leans his head down, letting you touch his horns. Your hands touch softly against it, standing on your top toes to get a better look at where they meld into his head. Then moving to look at the sharp tip of the horn.

“Hmmmm,” you let your feet fall flat again, letting go of Wyll, “I have an extra pad to smooth it down. They look healthy, but you are going to have to be careful of them getting over grown.”

“Like a sheep?” His voice comes out as a mix of surprise and disbelief, raising an octave.

“Yes,” you smile, finding it a little funny how that’s the only comparison he could think of, “like a sheep.”

He makes a noise of annoyance, accompanied by the sound of your laugh. As he looks up at you, he takes notice of your broken horn, recalling Karlach also has a similar situation. It feels rude to just ask, but he feels the situation permits it.

“May I ask what happened to your horn?” Wyll nods his head to your broken horn, instinctively your hand goes up to touch the nub.

“Oh this old thing,” you start, laughing a bjt to yourself as the memory surfaces in your brain, “fun story actually, when I first started traveling I didn’t have enough money to keep my usual tools with me. So I went without taking care of them. Ended up in a fight against a lone gnoll, thing got a good grip on my head and just took the rest of my horn off.” You can’t help but laugh, knowing to everyone else that seems wildly traumatic, but so much time has passed that you feel disconnected from it. “Luckily, I was able to even the score. We both left that fight pretty fucked up.” Your hand falls to the necklace around your throat, decorated with teeth that Wyll is now able to identify as gnoll.

Wyll’s mouth drops horrified for a brief second, then letting air escape his nose as he starts to laugh. It’s a weird and fucked up thing to bond over, but for the two it seems to work. As the laughter dies down, you put a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait here, I’ll go grab my bag and help you with them.” You say, then running back towards camp, leaving Wyll slightly flustered by your kindness.

You rush back, a brown bag tightly held in your hands as you come back. You gently lead Wyll to a large rock by the water, patting it for him to sit down, which he does. Placing the bag next to him, you jump onto the rock and kneel behind him, just like your parents used to do for you when you were young. Reaching into the bag, you pull a small vial of a yellowish liquid and a round brown pad.

“Alright, now this is horn polish, you can find it in most market places or you can make your own.” Your hand snakes over his shoulder, showing him the vial. “It goes on before you use this,” your other hand goes over his other shoulder, reveal the coarse rough pad of material. “This will help you buff out your horns and keep them looking smooth.”

Your hands disappear behind him, he can hear the vial open behind him and then feels your hands softly applying some of the liquid to his horns. You take great care in making sure you cover all of them, then wiping your hands off on your bag.

“This is going to feel kind of weird the first couple times, but it’ll get better, I promise,” you warn him, giving him a few seconds to brace himself.

The feeling of the rough pad against his horns is awkward and uncomfortable, almost like hearing nails on a chalk board. Wylls teeth grit together as he clenches his hand together, trying to brace himself as you go to work. He feels your body get closer to him, trying your best to comfort him while using both hands on his horns. You try your best to be both thorough while going quickly, recalling how much you hated this when you were a kid. To try and distract him, you opt to speak.

“When I was a kid, my dad used to help me with my horns. He was always better at this part than my mom,” you admit. “I used to start crying when she would do my horns for me because she was so rough with it. If I saw her with the pad in her hand I would immediately start crying and run off, trying to hide. She’d always find me though.”

“Really?” Wyll chuckles.

“Yeah. Looking back, I feel kind of bad about the trouble I gave her when she was just trying to help me. But at the time it seemed like a reasonable response.”

Wyll and your laughter blend together, the mood becoming more light as you continue to work on his horns. He starts to tell you small bits of his teen years, talking about the trouble he used to get in.

“Alright, now that we are done with this part, it’s time to move on to the finish touch,” your voice announces, slowly putting the used product back into the bag. You pull out another bottle, this one looking more clear than the polish, but a thicker consistency. Your hand rests on his shoulder, leaning over as you show him the bottle more. Wyll feels his heart rate pick up feeling you this close to him, but watches as you start to explain this product. “This is your last step, it’s a protective coating to keep your horns shiny and helps strengthen the keratin.”

“So, I just slather it on them?” Wylls face turns slightly to look at yours.

“Yeah, you don’t need much either, it spreads like crazy.” You lean back, popping the bottle open and reaching up to his horns again.

Slowly, your hands start to rub the oil onto his horns, being as gentle and smooth as possible. It grows quiet as you concentrate on keeping the oil only on his horns and making sure it’s spread as thin as it can be. Wyll, on the other hand, grows quiet as he enjoys the intimate position you are in. It’s been years since he’s felt this close to another person, having spent years to following Mizora closely. He allows himself to drift closer to your touch, feeling more at ease now than he has the past couple weeks, possibly even the past couple years.

“And that should do it,” you reach down and wipe off your hands on your bag. Wyll snaps back to reality, giving some space between you. You smile softly down at him, then gesturing from him to look at himself in the lake.

Wyll stands up and takes a few steps, looking down at his reflection and seeing how nice his horns now looked. Moonlight now illuminated them from the shine, its a small change but it makes him feel warm. It’s the first time since becoming part infernal that he’s felt content with his new appearance.

Wyll looks back up at you, still looking amazed by the work you had done. He takes a step closer, putting a hand on your shoulder as he speaks.

“Thank you.”

“No problem, I know it’s been tough for you.” You smile softly at him.

Wyll moves closer, as if he wants to lean closer. You prepare yourself for him to do so, your body leaning closer to his until a loud voice interrupts the both of you.

“Are you two done down there or should we just eat without you?” You both hear Gale ask, followed by comments from Shadowheart and Astarion that you most certainly don’t need to hear to know that its innappropriate.

Now both your cheeks flush red, flustered by being caught by the rest of the group. As you hear Astarion make one more comment, you start running up the hill and threatening to grab your a stake for him. Wyll just stands there, watching you as you start to argue with Astarion, hearing Shadowheart and Karlach laugh at the display. His heart fills with warmth as he looks back at his reflection in the lake, seeing the way his horns now shine with the moonlight. Grabbing your bag, he slowly makes his way back to camp.

[shir0oos-thoughts]

Sorry not sorry to any Knox fans but i needed to rant a lil bit

Be forewarned….this is a LONG one guys😮‍💨

When him and Tess were first introduced i was like “Oh well just as long as they don’t take too much away from the main story and are likeable” (BOY was I wrong😟)

Now don’t get me wrong he was a big help at the end of the book by helping transport the scepter. Also when Tess got fairystruck, anyone else thought “huh…that was…easy?” AND I GET IT the fairies were probs influenced by the interactions of humans (especially kendra) and were flattered by her costume as well as her age may have helped but it just all felt wayyy too plot convenient..

THEN they started getting their own chapters. Okay. Now im lowkey irritated bc could you IMAGINE if we got a RONODIN pov or one of Warren, Vanessa or Tanu? And i knoww its bc they’re cousins & are important secondary characters (even though the characters i listed are just as, maybe even more important) BUT WHEN I FINISH SETH’S CHAPTER I GET ALL EXCITED FOR KENDRA’S and then it’s one of theirs… (though the only thing saving it was Newel and Doren tbh) And I have to force myself to finish it bc i don’t wanna miss important details😔

And this isn’t particularly referring to Tess mostly Knox being insufferable but the point still stands!

*ALSO when he killed Remulon (which he did do his big one with that so 👏👏👏) Shouldn’t he technically NOT have been able to use the unicorn horn since in theory it’s impossible to just pick it up bc it attacks the person with magical guilt?? If anyone has the answer to this lmk plz DID I MISS SOMETHING or is this just a plothole??😭

ALSO also when he had the AUDACITY to TRY Seth (even if he was influenced by the crown) while he was “giant king” talking all that smack as if he didn’t injure Newel after being told how DANGEROUS the unforgiving blade was. And Seth just made him eat back up his words with barely any effort I KNOW THATS RIGHTTT I absolutely loved that scene😝

…..And don’t even get me STARTED on the whole Ob“knox”ious joke….😕

Overall he was helpful and can crack good jokes, when its not corny!! Just *REALLY* annoyingly boastful at times. Tess was tolerable tho. I would add more but this is already long enough as is lol.

But Im curious on other people’s thoughts on him🤔

[fictionalmenxyn]

Hi, so I had a request from an anonymous about Y/n having fun with the boys and being a bit loud and someone tell Y/n that they are loud and it makes Y/n become quiet for the rest of the day. Sorry the actual question isn’t here as I was having problems with the typing. This is a add on to the childlike e very head cannons.

Hope you like it :) also sorry if it’s not what you expected or if it’s too short.

Like mentioned before feel free to ask stuff I will get around to it don’t worry. I will answer as much and as soon as possible so don’t think your getting ignored. Have a good day/night! :D

Standing at the bar with Price, Y/n was waiting on the bartender to pour all of the boy’s drinks. Price had made a few jokes and comments that Y/n found really funny and of course you were laughing and loving the atmosphere of the local pub. Grabbing the pints you were still laughing and giggling at Price; while Price had thanked the bartender. As the two were both walking over there was this middle aged woman with what looked like to be her husband. As Y/n kept looking over to her friends the woman glared at you. Sitting down, you sat in between Gaz and Ghost. You spoke “who wants a game of cards?” Soap spoke “I will” then Price spoke “alright let’s have a game.” You pulled the cards out of your trouser/pant pocket and started to open the box and shuffle the cards. You started dealing the cards out to everyone and then began the game. As you were playing Ghost now and again would make a comment about Soap being unable to keep a poker face. The Ghost said “You might catch flies with your mouth open that wide, Johnny. Worse than Alejandro when he chew his food” and somehow a switch was flicked in your mind and now you were having a laughing fit. Everyone then too joined in as they enjoyed watching you have fun. After a few more laughs and card games, you and Rudy decided to head over to the bar to grab some more drinks. You smiled at the bartender as he passed you your drink. As you took a sip there was a small tap on your shoulder. Looking to your side you saw a rather irritated woman, you politely smiled and spoke “could I help you miss?” The woman spoke “uh yeah actually, why do you have to be so loud? People can probably hear you from the other side of the pub” your smile dropped immediately. You felt as if you’ve just been punch in the face. You spoke “but it’s a pub?” The woman snarked “well your being too loud” you looked down embarrassed. You looked back at her “sorry miss, I’m just having fun that’s all I didn’t mean to ruin your day or anything” the woman lifted her chin up in arrogance and spoke “good” she then strutted away. You looked at Rudy and he spoke “that was quite rude” you nodded and you spoke “don’t worry about it, ok?” Rudy asked “are you alright? She was quite blunt with that” you nodded and spoke “yeah..” you both walked over and handed the pints to the others. Sitting down you sat there in silence as the others talked. Feeling like a burden in a place that welcomes everyone. Ghost whispered “what’s up with you?” You shook your head and whispered “nothing.” He replied “come on I can tell there is something wrong” you shook your head again. He took the sign you didn’t want to talk about it so he stopped prying. That whole day you were there and at other places you stayed quiet.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

hey! i don’t know if you’re free/able to write right now but i have a request i’ve been meaning to put in :) it’s a oliver wood x reader one where the reader is dating someone, but it’s not a very healthy realationship and oliver realizes he’s in love with her too. maybe it some big arguement that causes y/n and her former partner to break up and when oliver realizes he comforts her and she eventually spits out her feelings. no pressure though <33

So this came out a tiny bit longer than I had planned, but I hope you like it! Thank you for the request! 💕

Warnings: toxic relationship, mentions of insecurities and a really awful boyfriend

~

Chocolate, tissues, and one of his oversized hoodies. This was Oliver’s patented feel-better recipe for you whenever you had a fight with your boyfriend. It was an embarrassing pattern: your boyfriend would be a jerk, you’d fight, he’d scream at you, you’d run to Oliver, Oliver would hold you while you cried, and, once your eyes were dry, you’d run back to your boyfriend and his half-apologies, which always managed to remind you how the fight was really your fault, and isn’t he actually the bigger person for forgiving you?

So, when you walked into potions class with a blotchy red face, Oliver knew exactly what to do. As soon as class ended, he took your hand and led you to Gryffindor tower and up to his dorm. Soon enough, the two of you were lounging on his bed, sharing some fudge he’d bought last time you were in Hogsmeade, laughing at the latest ridiculous thing his teammates had done at quidditch practice.

Oliver’s heart swelled as he watched the smile on your face, the one he knew hurt your cheeks. He felt proud; this was the fastest he’d gotten you from crying to laughing. But his heart also ached, knowing that any moment now you’d sober up and go find that rotten boyfriend of yours.

Sure enough, you eyed the clock warily, noting that it was almost dinner. “I should go,” you said slowly, slipping off the bed. “Got some reconciling to do.” You tried to smirk, to play it all off as a joke, but this smile didn’t quite reach your eyes the way it had a few minutes ago.

“Why do you stay?” Oliver blurted out.

You stared at him quizzically. “What d’you mean?”

He shrugged, knowing he was tiptoeing into dangerous territory. “He’s a jerk,” he explained. “He’s rude to you, he flirts with other girls in front of you, he makes fun of you, he talks behind your back…” Oliver shrugged again, a sigh escaping his lips. “You just deserve better. That’s all.”

There was a heavy silence as you mulled over Oliver’s words. He’s not wrong; your boyfriend is the worst. But he’s also the only boy to notice you in the five years you’ve been at Hogwarts. As you stare at Oliver, a tiny voice in your head can’t help but wish he would notice you like that. But you know that will never happen; he’s gorgeous and muscular, captain of his quidditch team, charming and outgoing, the absolute whole package. Just being friends with him was a dream come true.

You offered Oliver a small, sad smile. “Thanks, Oliver,” was all you could manage before turning and walking out the door.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Oliver laid back on his bed, shoving another piece of fudge into his mouth. Merlin, would you ever figure out how he felt about you?

~

The screaming match in the Great Hall was the final straw.

Your boyfriend was being obnoxious, as usual. Except this time, when you asked him to please stop, he doubled down, his voice growing louder with every word, until he was yelling at you in front of all the students trying to enjoy breakfast before going off on their Saturday morning activities.

“Calm down,” you begged through gritted teeth, the tears threatening to spill over as people’s heads turned to look at the two of you.

But he kept going, telling you all the horrible things he’s said before- insulting your looks, your intelligence, reminding you that you’re not funny, even comparing you to the girls whose beauty always made you feel insecure.

Something in you just broke in that moment. Maybe it was the cruel words spilling from his mouth. Maybe it was the look on his face, the anger in his eyes as he looked at you. Maybe it was the awful mixes of pity and disgust on your schoolmates’ faces. Whatever it was, you stood up, jaw set. You ignored your shaking legs and looked down at him.

“I’m done.”

That was it. That was all you said. Two words, and then you climbed out of your seat and willed yourself to march out of the Great Hall, ignoring the stares and whispers that followed you.

You wandered aimlessly through the hallways, just needing to get away from him, along with the embarrassing scene he’d just caused. Now you’d be that girl whose boyfriend (ex-boyfriend, you corrected yourself) screamed at her at breakfast. Great.

Finally finding an empty hallway, you collapsed on the ground and buried your hands in your face. You felt a mix of relief, embarrassment, and sorrow; but mostly you felt free.

Someone sat down next to you. It couldn’t be him, because he’d be screaming in your face by now. When you looked up, you didn’t feel an ounce of surprise to see Oliver Wood by your side, watching you with tenderness.

“Hey,” he whispered. He reached over and took your hand. “Y’okay?”

Surprising yourself, you nodded. “Yeah. I think… I think I actually am.”

He smiled gently at you. “Good, good.” He paused a moment, looking down at your clasped hands. “You’re really done with him?”

With a sigh, you nodded again. “Yes.” You leaned your head back against the stone wall and gave his hand a squeeze. “Because of you, you know.”

“Me?”

“Well… yeah.” You turned your head to look at him. “You were the one who told me I deserve better. And back there in the Great Hall, I realized you were right.” You shrugged. “So, thanks, I guess.”

Oliver’s smile grew. “You’re very welcome.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, his thumb stroking your hand gently. You scooched closer and leaned your head on his shoulder, the way you had about a million times before. But something this time felt different.

“Can I ask you something?” you whispered, so quietly Oliver was almost unsure if he heard you.

“Hmm?”

You sat up, looking at Oliver again. His golden eyes searched yours. “Why do you put up with me?” The confidence you had discovered in the Great Hall was beginning to dissipate. “All my drama and- and my crying and my neediness. Why’d you put up with it?"

“Er…” Oliver’s cheeks burned as he let out an awkward chuckle. “I mean, we’re best friends, right? It’s what best friends do.”

There was something in his tone, in his nervous shifting, in the way he couldn’t quite meet your eye, that told you something wasn’t quite right. “Oliver?”

He ran his free hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. “Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m-I’m not trying to press you into something- especially right now- but I mean, I always figured it was pretty obvious-” Another deep breath as he finally met your eye. “I love you.” His smile returned, lopsided and bashful now. “I’ve loved you for years now. And I figured eventually you’d realize that you deserve a lot better than that-” He gestured in the direction of the Great Hall. “-and that, when you were ready, I could maybe have a shot with you.”

“Oh.” That was all you could say as his words washed over you. Your mind raced, recalling all the times you’d turned to Oliver for comfort and the million different ways he knew to make you smile. Slowly, a smile spread across your face. You leaned forward and pecked his cheek, warmth against your lips.

Now it was Oliver’s turn to smile. “So, I do have a shot?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, leaning your head back against his shoulder, squeezing his hand. “I’d say you have a shot.”

[inamindfarfaraway]

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals Pitch Meeting

[Should be experienced imagining the voice and acting of Ryan George, who is linked to above.]

Producer Guy: So, you have a musical for me?

Screenwriter Guy: Yes sir, I do. It’s called The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals because the main character, Paul Matthews, doesn’t like musicals.

PD: He doesn’t?

SG: No, he can’t stand them. Watching one is his own personal hell. And that isn’t a throwaway quirk, it comes up several times and is integral to the plot.

PD: Isn’t the protagonist typically meant to be relatable to the audience?

SG: Yeah.

PD: And won’t the audience be full of people who like musicals?

SG: Yeah.

PG: Bit of a weird choice, but okay then. So other than the musical thing, what’s Paul like?

SG: Oh, not much.

PG: What?

SG: Yeah, he’s the most average, boring, white middle-class American everyman you can imagine. No desires, ambitions or hobbies; he never expresses much passion for anything except things he doesn’t like. He has an office job at a company that’s so generic, I didn’t even think of what it does. He’s not particularly nice either. Like, when his best friend Bill asks him to help him reconnect with his teenage daughter Alice, he refuses to avoid his own discomfort despite having nothing else to do. And when his other friend Charlotte right next to him is clearly upset because she’s in a miserable marriage to a neglectful, cheating husband, he doesn’t bother to comfort her.

PG: Isn’t the protagonist typically meant to be likeable and interesting?

SG: Yeah, but we’re not gonna do that I decided. So another important character is Emma Perkins, this barista Paul has a crush on. She’s the only reason he keeps going to this crappy café.

PG: And what’s her deal? Is she kind and friendly to balance out Paul being so apathetic?

SG: No, she’s also rude, but she has better reasons for it. She hates her job and has really annoying, mean coworkers her boss favours over her, who just won’t shut up about how great musical theatre is. They all love it so much that there’s a new rule that if they get tipped, they have to perform a whole song and dance routine.

PG: But working for every tip negates the point of a tip!

SG: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I said, it's a crappy café.

PG: I gotta say, though, you’re presenting musical fans in quite a negative light there. They are the people whose money we want.

SG: (aside) You haven’t seen anything yet. Anyway, Emma and Paul bond over not liking things and people - it’s cute. But then at the end of the day, a meteor crashes down in a big storm and lands right in the town’s theatre, which is putting on a musical. And the meteor turns out to have evil alien life inside it!

PG: Oh my God. What happens to everyone in that theatre?

SG: Well, it’s offstage, but we find out later that the alien works by taking over your body like a virus and killing you to use you as a vessel for its hive mind. So that probably happens to most of the people. Bill and Alice get out okay, but a lot of people are dead now.

PG: This escalated very quickly!

SG: Yeah, this show does that. It’s a horror comedy; it’s like a sitcom where anyone could brutally die. But here’s the thing: the alien hive mind makes the Infected sing and dance like they’re in a musical, so all the fun, catchy songs are actually it controlling people’s corpses. That’s how everyone knows the lyrics and can move in time to music nobody’s playing. You only hear the music if you’re Infected. And it spreads really fast, so this mindless musical obsession could literally destroy humanity!

PG: That’s so dark and tonally dissonant. But I have concerns about the villain essentially being a living musical, in a musical. Won’t that kinda alienate the audience? As in ‘make them not like it’, not ‘make them aliens’.

SG: No, it’ll be fun. The first song after the intro is very entertaining. There’s this really funny part with a silly, crazy homeless guy.

PG: Ah, yes. Making fun of the homeless and mentally ill is tight!

SG: Not what I… (moving on) and, and, we can cleverly parody musical tropes. For example, Paul’s boss tries to get him to sing an “I Want” song because the Hive want him to be the protagonist of their ‘musical’, but he doesn’t want anything so he’s a terrible protagonist.

PG: Oh, that was on purpose! I thought you were just a bad writer.

SG: Yeah, no, I’m setting up an arc. So the Hive take over most of the town - which is on a island and the bridge gets pulled up, so there’s no way off - including Emma’s café. But she escapes with Paul and they meet his friends from work, plus this obnoxious asshole Charlotte’s cheating with called Ted, who's the worst. But then the Infected police show up, including Charlotte’s husband Sam. She begs him to snap him out of it ‘cause she still loves him, but he pulls a gun on her.

PG: Oh no.

SG: Fortunately, Ted knocks him out.

PG: Oh, good.

SG: But he hits him too hard and his brain falls out!

PG: Wait, even putting aside how unlikely it is that his flesh and skull were broken open wide enough that his whole brain could fall out, isn’t the brain… attached? That’s a very implausible injury.

SG: I’m gonna need you to get all the way off my back about that.

PG: Well, okay then.

SG: So Charlotte has a mental breakdown and Emma suggests they go to her biology professor, Henry Hidgens. He’s an eccentric doomsday survivalist who somehow predicted this exact incredibly specific apocalyptic situation and has a huge house with top-notch security. And he's a biologist, so he might be able to study the alien infection if they bring him Sam.

PG: It’ll be hard to get there safely with the town swarming with alien zombies, especially carrying a dead man.

SG: Actually, it’ll be super easy, barely an inconvenience.

PG: Oh, really?

SG: That part just happens offstage.

PG: So they get to shelter?

SG: They do, so they start to relax for a bit. Except Charlotte, she’s dying inside and stays with her tied-up dead husband. Bill and Ted have this funny argument where Bill threatens to kick Ted’s head, which, you know, is a stupid threat.

PG: It is?

SG: Yeah, because you’d have to kick really high and most people can’t do that.

PG: I thought you would just push the person to the ground with your arms and then kick their head. Most people can do that.

SG: True.

PG: And it would be highly effective. You could kill someone that way.

SG: (getting an idea) You could, couldn’t you? (writes that down)

PG: What are you writing?

SG: Nevermind. Emma and Paul have a nice heart-to-heart where she reveals her backstory. Turns out she had a sister, Jane, who lived a great life, dream job, true love, kid, everything, while Emma left home at eighteen and travelled around being aimless and irresponsible. But then last year Jane died and that’s why Emma came back and is studying, to try to do something with her life now that Jane can’t anymore.

PG: Aw, that’s sad.

SG: Even a zany horror sitcom has its serious moments. So she and Paul bond some more, until Charlotte and Sam burst in.

PG: Wait, what?

SG: The Hive made her think he’d come back to life and manipulated her into letting him go. Then he just killed her.

PG: Dick move.

SG: Massive dick move! So now Ted gets beaten up by the possessed corpse of the woman he loves, after the last things he said to her were mean because he’s the worst. Fortunately, Hidgens kills the zombies.

PG: Oh, good.

SG: But Alice calls Bill and she’s under attack at her school!

PG: Oh no.

SG: If Bill goes to save her alone he’ll almost definitely die. But Paul volunteers to go with him.

PG: So he won’t be nice to his friends in everyday life, but he will risk his life for them?

SG: Precisely, this is really bringing out his inner hero. But when they get there, Alice is already Infected. She sings a whole song about what a terrible father Bill is and he's so guilty that he failed her that he tries to kill himself with the gun they brought. Fortunately, Paul takes the gun off him.

PG: Oh, good.

SG: But he drops it on the ground, so Alice just shoots Bill herself.

PG: Oh my God! Why did he let go of the gun? That was a very poor decision!

SG: Extremely poor, yes. Alice nearly kills Paul too, but the army rescue him. Specifically this secret special unit that I made up called PEIP that deals with supernatural stuff like magic and aliens that most people don't know about. They're ordered to kill everyone to keep the weird stuff secret, but the leader, General John MacNamara, is a good person so he doesn't do that.

PG: So he lets Paul live?

SG: He does, and he sends a helicopter to take him and Emma off the island.

PG: Paul tells him about Emma?

SG: Uh-huh. He realizes that he's in love and finally does want something: to be with her.

PG: Cool, cool, cool.

SG: Meanwhile, Hidgens and Emma are studying the Infected. Emma theorizes that if the brain of the Hive is in the meteor, they could take out all of them by destroying it.

PG: Is that true?

SG: There's no reason it couldn't be! But Hidgens changes his mind about the Hive being evil, knocks Emma out and ties her and Ted up. Then he opens his house's gates because he wants the Hive to get in.

PG: Why does he think the Hive isn't evil?

SG: Well, he's thinking that since humans are so immoral and harmful we're killing the planet and each other constantly anyway, but the Hive will bring peace and harmony. And he loves musicals.

PG: Oh, he does?

SG: Yeah, he's even written his own awful one, and he plays a song he wrote and composed to lure the Infected inside. He's willing to die and doom humanity for his twisted, irrational love of musical theatre.

PG: Really slamming your audience again. Hey, why wasn't he at the musical the theatre just put on?

SG: I don't know.

PG: Fair enough.

SG: So Paul comes back, frees Emma and Ted and they escape, but General MacNamara kills Ted because the soldiers are Infected now!

PG: And this is all onstage?

SG: Yes.

PG: Then it's gonna be hard to get past a division of fit, armed zombie soldiers who can survive not even having brains in their heads.

SG: No, it isn't. Emma shoots MacNamara in the shoulder and that makes him just give up.

PG: What about all the other soldiers?

SG: Please ignore them.

PG: Okay.

SG: So Paul and Emma get to the helicopter and think they've made it, but the pilot is Emma's mean coworker from earlier and makes them crash.

PG: Why is she Emma's coworker and not just the army pilot, if the Hive got there first?

SG: Because.

PG: That works. Are they okay after the crash?

SG: Paul is, but Emma's too hurt to walk. Paul says they should find a boat -

PG: Wait. There are boats? Or does Paul just think there might be?

SG: I have more notes on this town and it has a boating society, so there are boats.

PG: Then why haven't the Infected got in the boats and gone to mainland? Shouldn't they have done that by now?

SG:

SG: ...You're right. I didn't think about the implications. Oh my God, I didn't think about it!

PG: Whoops!

SG: Whoopsie! So anyway, Emma tells him her theory and he goes to blow up the meteor with a grenade.

PG: But then he could die, and right when he actually cares about something. That is heroic. Do he and Emma have a touching maybe-last goodbye?

SG: Kinda. They try to kiss, but she coughs up blood in his face. The Hive knows Paul is coming and lets him in order to infect him. He does his best to resist its control, but it makes him sing and dance and have an existential crisis.

PG: Oh no.

SG: But at the last possible moment, he pulls the pin, blows up the meteor and saves the day!

PG: Wow, wow, wow. Wow.

SG: So we cut to two weeks later. Everyone else in the town is dead, but Emma was saved by the army reinforcements and she's getting out of hospital on the mainland and ready to start a new life.

PG: Well, at least she survived and the Hive is defeated. That's what Paul wanted. But it's still a shame he died.

SG: That's what Emma thinks... until he walks in!

PG: (excited) What?

SG: Yeah, he's okay and he gives her this soft smile and she's the happiest we've ever seen her and they hug.

PG: That's such a sweet ending. After everything they've been through, getting to be happy together feels earned, and I really have warmed up to them both.

SG: And then Paul starts singing.

[Beat. Producer Guy's relieved expression turns to confusion, shock, sorrow and horror as he processes that information and its implications. He stares at Screenwriter Guy, betrayed.]

PG: But that means he's... (SG nods, proud of himself) and Emma's theory was wrong, and... (SG nods again) the Hive is on the mainland now, so the entire world is... (SG nods again) oh, a very depressing ending!

SG: Set to a very cheerful song! The cast even stay in-character for the bows; the Infected bow while Emma screams and cries and begs the audience for help before being dragged away. So what do you think?

PG: That ending will haunt my dreams. But as creative as the premise is and as emotional as it gets later on, I don't know if this will be that big of a hit. The tone changes so fast and jarringly, the main characters aren't that likeable at first and it all just seems pretty niche. And it spends so much time mocking its own genre and audience. I can see it becoming a cult classic, but I don’t think you’ll be able to launch a series with it or anything.

[wildnya]

Big Sister Draconia

@leclerc-eisner @imvietnamesenotchinese ask and thou shall receive

i wanted to make an overpowered oc for twst. this is the result.

important edits:

~ no she is not to be taken seriously she’s here to make thing’s funny and entertaining

~since the diasomnia chapters have come out take anything that goes against canon with a grain of salt those are subject to change

i don't have a name for her just yet so if anyone has some suggestions that would be very appreciated(i want to keep that trend of 'mal' or something with `Mel' being the start of the name since granny draconia's name starts with it too) (and yes i have considered Mallory but it's too cliche for me). for shits and giggles her middle names are Meredith Sue

this is a bunch of rambling everything is out of order grammar is weird words are used incorrectly misspellings exist bear with me

i added my christconia edit to catch people’s attention it has nothing to do with the post

tagging @cupids-chamber @twisted-lusty @writing-for-me-at-this-point @bestwishes2u @stupidneko @mrsmephisto @leonakingscholarship @honey-milk-depresso for clout reblogs and mutual attention seeking

first things first, appearance. she is gorgeous and when i say that i mean natural super model body make the girls wet the boys hard the theys/thems sweat and asexuals and gays reconsider their sexuality drop dead gorgeous. she looks like a female version of malleus. but she is much taller than him. if they stood directly in front of each other mal's face would be in front of her chest. the end of her hair stops where her hips and midriff meet and is black and silky soft. what does she use? dish soap yes you heard me she uses dish soap. vil has begun to believe it has to do with growing up in Brair Valley. her boobies are on the bigger side but nothing extreme. hands are rough and callus from combat. same eyes and horns as mal. she looks like she has no muscle on her arms but it is quite the opposite there isn’t anyone alive that’s able to beat her in arm strength. oh and she has a six pack.

she never talks. ever. this is not an exaggeration. no one has heard her utter a word for centuries not even meemaw draconia remembers what her voice sounds like. and then there’s the permanent resting bitch face. only Malleus has been able to get her to smile and even then it's rare.

her magical energy is on a whole other level compared the everyone else’s. she’s so strong she isn’t included in the worlds strongest magicians. has enough magical energy to power all the magic devices in the world for at minimum a century. in this AU of mine there are certain individuals that are excluded from the top magicians list because they’re power is just so immense and can’t be measured. (i actually have two other oc’s in the same situation if anyone wants to hear about them-)

the reason malleus is the heir instead is because she didn’t want it. she’d rather do her own thing, and by that i mean go around the world fighting anything worth her time and enjoying her hobbies. she will leave for years at a time without notice and no one will hear anything about her til she teleports into the castle covered in blood dragging whatever she picked up on her adventure behind her. it is extremely unsettling and terrifying. malleus got used to it at a young age so he has grown immune to such sights.

one time she destroyed a whole empire because the ruler had the audacity to keep bothering her with letters begging to marry her. after that she tossed the responsibility of the aftermath to some trusted subordinates before peacing out like two decades. she’s also annihilated multiple nations for the smallest offenses. insult my retainer? everyone in the castle dies. look down on me for being a fae? you get to watch your friends and family be tortured to death. challenge me to a duel in a rude &/or condescending manner? say goodbye to any appendage that allows you to indulge in your favorite pastimes. you try to feel me up without consent? you will be neutered and be awake for the whole procedure. touch my baby brother? we don’t talk about what happens to anyone who does that.

her dragon form is a lot bigger than mal’s but nothing close to their memaw’s size. for reference malleus has canonically said she is much bigger than him.

lilia served under her during a few wars. not once did she lift a finger. the most that she did was patrol a border once or twice. the only thing she was somewhat active in was helping out citizens.

she likes things that are either much smaller or bigger than her. if you are a short king or queen she might take interest in you. but that depends on if she finds you amusing enough. she will put you in her lap and kinda just, toy with you. your face will be squished, hair will be twirled, and head patted. then she’ll leave you alone to do whatever. but you stay in the lap. the lap is where you live now. she will hand feed you. ask for whatever you wish she’ll get it for you. sweets? on the way. books? give the servants 20 minutes. latest game console and games? you might have to do some explaining to the servants but don’t worry you’ll have it before the next hour.

mal is too big to sit in her lap comfortably like he used to but he likes to snuggle close into her side and cuddle. he’ll rest his head on her boob while she does whatever. if his tail is out it is wagging. there have been numerous times someone has made friends with the floor thanks to the force of the wags. he is obsessed with her to the point he’s lowkey a platonic yandere. had certain things been different he absolutely would be. big sister does not like dealing with troublesome people though so that's that.

honestly if you’re unfortunately malleus’ darling and she exists in this universe you 100% be safe. she may not seem like it but she cares a lot about her homeland and how her family acts as they are a big part of it's image.. she has dealt with many yandere’s over her many years of life and knows how suffocating it is with them. she will not think twice about helping you. and if that means she has to beat some sense into her brother than so be it. she is happy to cast a curse that makes it impossible for malleus to be near you or spend years investigating a way to send you home. and if it really comes it she will be the death of her brother. she loves him more than anything but there is no way in hell she is gonna allow him to taint their home and bloodline.

she is nearly 1000 years old. when lilia first saw her he wasn’t even in the double digits of age yet. at that time she was the equivalent of an older teen in fae years. if you ask him what his first impressions were he’ll say that he thought she was awe inspiring and part of the reason he decided to be a soldier. they first met during his training to be a guard. she was sent to survey their progress. lilia will talk fondly about how some big shoots challenged her to spar and got their asses whooped with out her even taking her hands out of her pockets

speaking of pockets she really likes them. if the outfit doesn’t have pockets for her hands it’s unacceptable someone fetch the royal tailor these pants do not suit my tastes. she likes to go clothes shopping for herself others and pets. she has a lot of pets. she has her own castle up in the mountains and a whole section is dedicated to any animals she has picked up. they are the most spoiled animal babies to ever exist. each one has there own room, area to relieve themselves, and food made only with the best ingredients to match their tastes. her favorite baby is a corgi named Jellybean. she loves it so much she placed a spell on it to always be reborn like a phoenix so long as she lives. malleus has a life long one-sided rivalry with this pup. jellybean loves him. the feelings are not mutual.

she always disguises herself when she’s out shopping. y’all thought malleus had it bad when it came to people being terrified of him? ha even dark fae are petrified of big sister. if you read any parts of the story where mob diasomnia members interact with something related to their fae prince you will see they act similarly to sebek and silver. if big sister is in the room they would be acting the same as the majority of the school population does to malleus. she walks into denny’s and within minutes the entire restaurant is cleared. can’t blame them though she actually murdered grandpa draconia cuz he was tainting the family name. while memaw, papa, and mama draconia unconditionally love her even they feared her power to a point. mal is one of the so few the number doesn’t even reach the double digits people that isn’t afraid of the power within. that’s mostly because of his sister complex tho.

back to shopping she prefers to go out and shop for already made clothes. she can be very impatient so if she does need to get something custom made the poor unlucky individual has to literally close shop/put everything else on hold to make her outfit less they get on her bad side. only granny draconia and her late mother were able to get her to put up with this. they’d go as far as to hire the best of the best and have them collaborate to complete the job within a few days to keep her from coming after them. she likes turtlenecks a lot. more likely than not if she’s on an outing she’ll be wearing a turtleneck. same goes for lounge clothes. a perfect go to gift for her. malleus made a self designed matching turtleneck sweaters for her and himself one year for christmas. every year he designs a new pair for them. she has kept every single one, but she’ll never admit to it.

she loves to drag take those she cares about on shopping sprees. if she takes you you are the focus. she does not take multiple people if she can help it and this is her way of saying “I care about you” so suck it up and let her do her thing. you will be woken up before the crack of dawn and won’t make it back home until jesus crispy it’s 2 in the fucking morning please take me home i am about to pass out. on the bright side she will buy you anything you desire, clothes or not, and carry you around if she already isn’t.

do not complain. she does not take kindly to this and this is a way to get kicked from her proclaimed harem. yes she has one but not in a traditional sense.

like dragons in fairy tales she’ll hoard anything she finds interesting. she gets bored easily when something isn’t challenging enough. that’s where living things come into play. as stated before she has a whole section of her castle dedicated to pets. well there is a smaller castle located not far from her main one that is solely for those in her “harem”. it’s not actually a harem harem. just a bunch of people she thinks are amusing that she kinda just, kidnaps whenever she feels like it. of course they all have their own room like the pets but they also each get a personal servant and chef provided by her. (a lot of them are actually the ghosts of people who she killed, they are bound to serve her until she either releases them or dies oof) when malleus took part in the masterchef event he begged her to visit. as the best big sister ever she granted his wish but didn’t join as a judge. she is very aware of others view of her and didn’t want to ruin the other kids fun so she waited until after the event. malleus convinced ruggie to stay and cook too as he wanted the experience to be as close to what the others had. big sis took one look at the yeen and knew immediately he was going to be added to her collection. Malleus can pick up on the subtle changes in her body language easily after years of trailing after her whenever he could. he has complicated emotions about her harem and is very hostile towards the males apart of it in particular. poor ruggie is so confused and terrified for his life why is malleus suddenly glowering at him with smoke coming from his nose and why is his sister staring at him like she wants to eat him. needless to say the kitchen was pretty hot after that. but hey, at least ruggie can mooch off of the seemingly endless money big sister has. (she has expired a small amount big business bosses too for being greedy assholes and taken over their companies instead of destroying them. y’all thought kalim’s was wealthy? ha she makes sunshine child look poor) she has picked up others from NRC too, Riddle and Epel are 2 of them. they are smol angy kids in her eyes and she loves to carry around cute tiny things like them. Idia and Ortho are there too. ortho is a robot with a soul and who is also an adorable mischievous child he is a prime example of her favorite characteristics. idia had fascinating hair and is easy to fluster, another prime example of what she likes.

she does not like Grim. his voice annoys her.

more likely than not she’ll probably like what personification mc has taken on too. mc is probably the only man malleus approves of in the harem if he identifies as such.

this is getting long imma end it here if ya want to know more pop into my inbox i’m more than happy to answer questions

ps i will be posting a nsfw version on my adult blog so if ur interested hop over there-

[thegirlwhowrites642]

I find it kind of funny when people say Ginny was rude to Fleur because there’s a reason behind it if you read between the lines. I lived in France for six months, and while I loved the country, the people there can come across as quite rude. Honestly, it could be because of the language barrier, but they are more direct, and it can come across as offensive rather than what was intended. The French are also very passionate and patriotic, so everything France has or does is better than anything in any other country. Fleur’s first language wasn’t English, so when she spoke it, I’m sure some things came across as more rude than they were intended to be. I don’t know how much Bill told his family about his love life, but if he’s anything like my older brother, then he probably gave them a day or two notice, and I’ve always thought Ginny was close to Bill and extremely protective. So she was probably like "you're coming home? Yes! Wait you're bringing a girl... but I thought we could hang out..." Ginny is fiercely protective of everyone she loves, especially her family. Fleur strikes me as a city girl from an upper-middle or high-class family. The Burrow was probably a shock to her, and she was stuck in the country side with nothing to do. This probably brought out the worst in Fleur, which triggered Ginny because how dare she come into her home and make comments about everything. It’s her home and her family, and Ginny will not let anyone critique it. Imagine someone coming into your home and saying you should do this or that, or that something is dirty or the food is too fattening. It would piss you off. Ginny isn’t going to put up with that shit, future sister-in-law or not. No one insults her family, home, or friends. Honestly, that’s what I love about her the most—that when she loves you, she fucken loves you, but if she hates you... well, good luck mate.

I completely agree with you but the thing is: it's not written between the lines. It's very openly stated. Not understanding this is an open declaration of functional illiteracy.

And this doesn't change the fact that Ginny is being mean and harsh and quick to judge, but it doesn't come out of nowhere.

It's actually really interesting to see the other side, the negative one, of her fierce protectiveness.

And the scene when she admits she was wrong is a super sweet moment between Ginny and Harry. It's Harry that very gently pushes her in that direction. It's really beautiful to see both how Ginny makes Harry emotionally intelligent and how Harry makes Ginny a better, more reasonable, person.

[tinpani]

what's mimi and kara's married life like? Does she get along with the other matsus? Or the background characters?

*cracks knuckles*

their married life is awfully mundane and there isn’t much to really say about it. mimi is the breadwinner and has BEEN the breadwinner. karamatsu is only expected to cook and clean, and mimi’s not going to make him get a job because. let’s face it karamatsu is a trophy husband and mimi is rich as hell

if they ever have kids, they’ll be adopted. mimi miiiiight not be able to have kids ….. but that’s just a theory …… a mimi theory……

“does she get along with the other matsus 🥺🥺🥺” bitch. don’t ask that question. ichimatsu is threatened by mimi. literally. mimi doesn’t like how rude he is to karamatsu and like i knowww they’re brothers that’s what brothers are like to each other, but that’s ALSO mimi’s significant other and it ALSO doesn’t like how he just . takes it.

mimi gets a bit mad at ichi, ichi tries to retaliate, but then remembers this is a Rich Girl that could probably do worse things than beat him up he cannot comprehend (bullying ?) that it will not face any consequences for.

lemme uhhh thing from discord:

ok ok. once upon a time osomatsu and mimi were rly close friends like that bitch was its bestie (aside from nyaa ofc) and he would borrow money and talk shit abt choromatsu and fuck arnd w mimi and it was awesome even if mimi didnt rly understand him that well but whatever. he (+ kara) inevitably introduced it to choro so it could understand what osomatsu is talking abt, tho it clicked well w choro . wasnt much of a big deal. until mimi started hanging out w choro more bc mimi understands him better than oso and then mimi realises it doesnt get along with osomatsu *at all*. ex osomatsu would ask mimi for an opinion (that he doesn't actually care for) and mimi would be accustomed to say "do whatever u want", whereas choromatsu would ask mimi for an opinion, mimi would say "do whatever u want", and choro would say "i literally asked u for a reason dont gimme that" and mimis like "omg . " . and it starts to notice that it does not feel exhausted after being with choro like it did with oso. eventually mimi just stops talking to oso altogether .

damn! sad !! also that happens so gradually i think oso only kind of notices.

like i said b4 mimi’s close w choromatsu. of course it is they’re both otaku but mimi likes anime more than idols so they try to introduce each other to the stuff they like (actual thing i do watch demon slayer. watch demon slayer. watch demon slayer NOW)

that isn’t to say mimi being friends with nyaa and choro means nyaa and choro are friends. choromatsu thought that but quickly found out that was Not True At All

i also think it’s rly funny how mimi iru and choro can be like a “smart group” or whatever but mimi and iru are actually smart and choro gets lost and feels left out when they talk abt smart successful ppl shit. i mean mimis like an engineer or something

but no like when it’s just choro and mimi it’s awesome. they go shopping together bc choro won’t make fun of it for wanting to go to anime stores and choro sometimes forgets mimi’s a “girl” and not one of his brothers so when mimi’s like “ohh i need to go 2 uhh victoria’s secret or some shit” and choromatsu’s like “nooo you can’t!!! wait.” and then remembers he’s out with a “girl” omg

jyushimatsu’s chill. that’s all i can say. he’s awesome. mimi’s a bit frightened of totty and totty is a bit frightened of mimi. when will they get over this 😢

mimi does in fact get along with normal people! you’ve read before mimi is super close with nyaa and even calls her nyaa-dono which she finds funny. mimi is also friends with dobuko and chibita, and speaks to atsushi on occasion. it’s a regular at sutabaa and aida and sacchi know it, too, though they were quite alarmed to see it come in with karamatsu on its arm of all people.

and of course it knows more people than that. it’s got employees that have employees that have employees. there might be more to that chain idk i haven’t thought about it enough.

[rambleswhatsthepoint]

02/05/2023

Time passes.

Yesterday i had one of the best saturdays i can remember for a long time.  I went out to meet my crazy brit friend downtown.  we met up at noon.  we first went to get a lobster roll cause i’ve been craving one.  then we walked over to “the club”, a social club that he’s a part of.  it’s funny he used to talk about it when we worked together and i always wondered what the deal was about it.  it’s super cool.  if i was even close to being downtown i’d want to join as it was quite nice.  very posh and i guess fancy lol.  

we hang up our coats then proceed upstairs.  first he showed me the library, a great big room full of plush leather couches with foot rests, a large fireplace with a couch, some desks.  the walls are floor to ceiling books.  the east windows face out where you can see the art institute, the bean, the lake.  there were a few people in there quietly reading.

so then we go to like “living room” type place that literally has 4 huge flat screen tvs with couches and tables.  a little further down there are like dining tables and chairs and a bar.  we take a seat near the windows.  there’s a menu and we have a few drinks and chat and laugh the day away.  he’s super good at guessing people’s ages and i am not lol.  there is no payment here, you just write down your membership number and you get charged later.  super posh lol.  my drink was some sort of basically chocolate/espresso martini.  crazy brit gets a drink called the “thirst trap” lol that’s made with gin.  Gin and i have a bad past so that’s a no for me lol.

we get feeling a little bit chilly and unfortunately the fireplace in the area we are in isn’t working.  so, he asked the staff if they could possibly light the one in the library.  we bring our drinks there and sit in front of a grand fireplace.  the library is thankfully empty.  he goes through the “matches” i have on my dating app and we message a few.  when i say “we” i guess it was he messaging as me.  it was fun and we had a hilarious time there.  until a curmudgeon of a lady came it at some point and we didn’t even notice cause our backs are to the rest of the room.  we were there first laughing our faces off and talking about who would die first in the apocalypse when we hear a “HEY!  There are plenty of other places to drink your cocktails” from way across the room.  Ew, what a biatch am i right?  She apparently was thinking we should have known she had walked in.  ugh her rudeness bothers me even today.  what about a “hey! i dunno if you saw me come in but can you please keep it down?”  

Anyways after that we leave and then walk down aways.  he goes, have you ever been at the bar at the palmer house?  Uh no?  ok then let’s go.  we sit at the bar there and i’m just drinking water at this point and he has a couple more drinks.  but then i get hungry so i get a bbq chicken flatbread pizza.  we observe and talk about and talk to the people all around us and have a great time.

he is like my designated hype person.  every time i talk or hang out with him i feel like i can do anything.  i don’t feel quite as broken.  we go through old pictures and he tells me “i always thought you were a costume person” LOL.  the whole day i didn’t pay for a dime except my parking.  well i know he makes a ton more than i do, lol, i so i guess it’s fine.  like probably double, so he can afford it lol. 

but it was a super fun day of talking and laughing and day drinking and i would love to have that again lol.  i would love to meet and actually date someone i could have just as much fun with and laugh with.  

for example one of the people i’m texting....  i sent him a picture of the roaring fire and said I’m at hogwarts casino.  and he said, oh i’ve never been there, where is that?  and we answered Platform 9 and 3/4s.  and he said In IL?  and we responded Kings Crossing.  i felt quasi mean, but we were joking this whole time and this guy has no idea.  which means he has possibly never watched harry potter?  or just not the brightest lightbulb in the tool shed?  i don’t know.  i guess i could just say i don’t know if i’d be laughing my face off with him talking about life and the ridiculous.

partner that with the fact that he doesn’t really engage in any conversation or answer or ask any questions besides “when can we meet?”  like why do you even want to meet me, dude, you have no idea if we have anything in common or would get along whatsoever.  i’ve offered to chat on the phone a couple times and he never does.  i mentioned that today and he called while i was driving, but i swear to you the phone rang just like 3 times.  probably not even long enough to go to voice mail.

i dunno, i guess i should just pay attention to those red flags and disengage from that guy.

anyways by the time i head back to my car at the parking garage it’s almost 8 pm. lol.  got home by 830 and in bed by 9 or so like my usual oldy moldy self.  day drinking is fun! LOL.  for some reason i thought drinking was only late at night (which would totally disrupt my sleep schedule lol).  so it was great to remember that this is an option!

oh yes, work is a tire fire.  the tire fire that continues on.  i really need to go over my resume and find something else.

last week one evening i spoke on the phone with leo for an hour talking about relationships and trying to cheer her up.  another night i spoke to cancer and asked her what traits she thought were good for me to search for in another person.  so i guess it’s nice to be keeping in touch with friends and be there for each other

[mystical-lemonade]

Betrayed by a Friend

Warnings: Very vague mentions of violence. (It’s Floyd what do you expect)

Word count: 1,060

Pairings: Azul Ashengrotto x gn!reader, Jade Leech x gn!reader, Floyd Leech x gn!reader, Vil Schoenheit x gn!reader.

Azul knows how it feels to be betrayed by a friend

He knows it very well

So when his significant other comes into his office at Mostro Lounge and stumbles into his arms

Azul is deeply concerned for them

It’s very rare for Azul to see anyone crying as hard as you were in this moment

But as the ever benevolent young man he is Azul is more than happy to just let you sob in his arms for however long you need

He’d rub your back gently and press soft kisses to your head

Once Azul was confident you were breathing consistently and tears were quietly rolling down your cheeks

Instead of the rasping and irregular breaths you were taking while sobbing your poor heart out

Azul would gently ask what happened

Hands cupping your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs

His forehead pressed to yours

When you do manage to convey to him that you got betrayed by someone you considered a friend

Azul is immediately plotting a murder

Logically he knows he can’t actually kill somebody because they made his significant other cry

But emotionally? Azul wants nothing more than to have to call in that favour the Leech twin’s father owes him

Instead of voicing those desires, Azul settles for continuing to hold you to his chest

Telling you that it’s okay if you need to cry more, that he’s here for you. No matter how long it takes for you to start feeling better.

Somehow manages to get you a glass of water without even moving from his spot beside you

It even has a cute little bendy straw that looks like a heart! (It’s his favourite gag gift the leech twins ever gave him, but don’t tell either of the tweels)

Jade had been trying to subtly warn you about the person you called a friend

He has ears in the walls all across campus so Jade had a suspicion about what was upcoming

That doesn’t mean he is rude to you about this topic

Really all he does is try and hint that perhaps this friend isn’t as kind as they would have you believe

So when this friend does inevitably betray you, Jade is right there beside you

Ready and willing to offer you comfort

While he’s not quite as tactile as his brother when it comes to his affections

Jade is more than happy to wrap you up in his arms and embrace you as you cry

He’ll even offer you a clean handkerchief from his breast pocket

Jade will remain by your side for as much time as you need him to

He’d definitely rub your back gently as you cried against his chest

Would get you a tall glass of cool water so you don’t get dehydrated

He’s more than happy to spend the day acting as if he was your butler, tending to your every need

Eventually Jade manages to lull you into having a nap

Probably having told you something along the lines of ‘you’ve had such a rough day, don’t you think you deserve some rest Dearest. Sleep, I’ll take care of everything else’

After you’ve fallen asleep Jade calmly walks to Mostro Lounge and immediately begins preparing for the arrival of a special guest

Jade would intimidate charm his way into your former friend’s dorm to pick them up

So he bring them back to Mostro Lounge for the extra special evening he prepared for the two of them

People tend to overlook Jade’s violent tendencies due to Floyd being more obvious

But after an evening in Jade’s care, it is all but guaranteed your former will never overlook or forget them again

Floyd does his absolute best to cheer you up when he sees you crying

Telling you funny stories

Offering up snacks and beverages to you

Squeezing you (gently), close to his chest

Kissing your tears away as they roll down your cheeks

But if Floyd can’t get you to talk to him at all in the first 5-10 minutes he’s with you?

Floyd will kinda just set you down

Somewhere he knows would be a comfortable place to sit

And then he’d just leave you

Because as much as Floyd loves his precious Jelly-kun

He also doesn’t have the temperament or attention span to sit with someone while they cry

However Floyd gladly takes care of that filthy guppy who betrayed you

After he finds out about it of course

If you can’t tell him yourself Azul will gladly spill the beans

Thus begins Floyd’s new mission of the week

Making your former friend’s life a living hell

First Floyd would start by following them around silently

Never making a move to hurt them, but just letting them know

He’s watching them always

Then when Floyd gets bored of making the paranoid he’d promptly break as many of their bones as he could

Vil’s first priority is to get you to stop crying

It is his one singular goal

Everything else can come later

Right now, he wants you to stop crying

So he will do absolutely everything it takes for him to succeed.

He’d wipe your tears away with a handkerchief made from a silk and cotton blend

Only the best for his Sweet Potato

Vil gladly offers you hugs and cuddles if that’s what you require

Would pet your hair and back if it helped

Definitely would allow you to cry into his shoulder

As long as you don’t have any dark makeup on, of course

He’d hate for the lovely matching pyjamas you got for the two of you to become stained

When he does get you to calm down enough he can understand you

Vil is pissed

It isn’t easy to get Vil to lose any and all respect he has for a person

Not only are they being a back stabbing bitch? But one that hurts the people that love them? On purpose!?

That’s just about the fastest way one could achieve that

So needless to say Vil is definitely going to be giving that former friend of yours the cold shoulder permanently

And you know what they say about Vil, he’s truly a trend setter worldwide

Soon the person will feel as lost and abandoned as you felt in the moment they betrayed you.

Hello Dears, this post is actually one that I dedicate to a person who is going through a tough time right now. Hope you’re doing better now sweetheart <3

In other news, Jupiter is an idiot who forgot that I had this written. Whoops

Anyway if you enjoyed reading this post and want to read more from me please check out previous wishes, or make a wish of your own.

Sincerely, Jupiter

[ghooostbaby]

deeeep dive into why and how wei wuxian and lan wangji love each other, complete each other, are the inverse reflection of each other’s deeply hidden internal selves mirrored through the other’s external self, lan wangji’s inner wildness that he has to conceal and protect recognizing and loving wei wuxian’s outer wildness, wei wuxian’s deep, fuddy-duddy morality and values that he conceals with an elaborate subterfuge of jokes, mischief, and bravado, seeing and loving in lan wangji the ability to say no that it was never safe for him to express directly, “between you and me there is no need for thank you and sorry”

oh and a slight diversion midway through into a manifesto on WEI WUXIAN IS NOT INSECURE the whole story is about a society where being liked is ESSENTIAL for survival and it is actually completely perilous not to be liked, and his “people pleasing” is a skill and tool for his survival especially as an orphan and proven to be a necessary one when he stops doing it and STOPS SURVIVING

after the cut discussing the very interesting dynamics of consent in general in the novel, but not going into the consensual non-consent kink stuff till the last paragraph if you need to avoid for any reason.

I've been thinking about how Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian the exterior, unfettered expression of the wildness Lan WangJi holds in him and protects with rigid codes of conduct, propriety and outward dignity.

I have had this sense that these two are mirrors, either one reflecting the hidden, interior (and unallowed) self of the other. but it seemed more clear from Lan WangJi's side, especially knowing about his history with his mother and the spicy side that emerges when he drinks and in the extras.

I also - just... the way this whole story shows how romantic love is truly this longing for your self, to become yourself, to become the thing you're not allowed to be, seeing in that person the expression of whatever it is you can't become and longing for it, protecting it, joining with it as closely as you can without ever being able to let it live inside your own body.

On the surface it seems a lot more difficult for Wei WuXian to find a piece of his soul in Lan Wangji. I think its a bit too simplistic to see whatever draws Wei WuXian to Lan Wangji as a reverse-psychology sort of craving of acceptance from the only one who won't give it, pushing and pushing against this impenetrable boundary that he needs to break to feel assurance that no matter what he can make anyone accept him.

And he is SO drawn - in a mind boggling way, in the teenage flashbacks Lan WangJi rudely and aggressively throws him off over and over and Wei WuXian cannot keep away! Even when he talks about how boring Lan WangJi is, he never stops trying to be around him and talk to him.

I've seen discussions of the way Wei WuXian has always relied on the goodwill of others to survive, and that his placating of others to survive is a character flaw. Although that seems only halfway true. 

As a young child he didn't have anyone's goodwill for a while and he survived, and it seems like he can always find a way to survive from whatever means and sometimes very limited resources he has at his disposal. Doing what he has to do to become powerful enough to survive losing his core and being thrown into the burial mounds slowly costs him the goodwill of everyone around him - and what happens to him as a result shows how much placation was a truly necessary for someone without the protection of biological/hereditary family bonds.

(Don’t get me started on how his loss of his golden core and his development of demonic cultivation to give himself power by ‘unnatural methods’ through the use of a musical instrument is a metaphor for disability and the way ableist society sees the use of accessibility devices and tools. Actually please DO get my started haha.)

Wei WuXian is so charismatic and seems very used to getting what he wants and needs on the strength of that. He pushes a lot of boundaries and seems pretty confident and flexibly prepared to handle the consequences, whether beatings or harsh words. But he does work so hard to make others feel good, good with him, good with themselves.

When he is in the cave with Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian is described as "like one who forgets all past pain as soon as the wound heals". He can't resist coming up beside Lan WangJi and talking to him again and again after every time Lan WangJi pushes him off, only finally staying away when Lan WangJi bites him (and he still keeps trying to talk to him after a little bit!) and then calls him an awful person (!!! Bad Wangji! :(((( ). In the end, when Lan WangJi (very minimally) discloses what happened to his sect and his father, and even cries, because of all the defences/assaults Lan WangJi has put up Wei WuXian can't do anything or say anything to help and feels miserable.

Lan WangJi just absolutely refuses to allow Wei WuXian to take care of him - and I began to wonder maybe that’s what Wei WuXian actually really likes about him? Why he is unable to resist coming up to Lan WangJi again and again? Maybe because Lan WangJi refuses to let Wei WuXian appease him. He’s not trying to crack Lan WangJi to get to this impenetrable place of approval and acceptance. In a way he can’t quite understand, Lan WangJi is a respite for Wei WuXian from the constant work to be the one who pleases.

And  how different this is to how Wei WuXian is (or has to be) with Jiang Cheng when he wakes up in Lotus Pier after the cave. Jiang Cheng gets so down and really really needs Wei WuXian to do what he does so well (and wasn’t allowed to do with Lan WangJi) - chasing Jiang Cheng down while being injured and reassuring him about all his insecurities about his father's acceptance and becoming a sect leader and Wei WuXian's own abilities excelling his - and at first Jiang Cheng is pushing him away, but he really does need Wei WuXian to do all this to feel better.

Wei WuXian is described as not wanting to be lonely, and not wanting to see other people unhappy, and he keeps trying to push and pull with whatever he has to not be lonely and lift the mood for those around him. I don't think it's a kind of codependency or insecurity. It’s not that Wei WuXian is afraid to say no, in fact I would say he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do, but he must always do it creatively, with humour. Similarly to Nie Huaisang, he uses a persona of foolishness to give himself a covert agency.

I also think I'm writing this because I don't like seeing this discussed as a sad bean character flaw for him to always need to be liked - its a strategy, its a tool, its how he survives and excels. Doesn’t the whole story prove how essential being liked is to a human’s survival? And he is so so good at being liked, in making others happy, even when he is refusing to do what others want from him that he doesn't want to do, he does it in a way that deflects criticism, with a smiling bravado that never says what it truly means and has people writing him off as shameless or foolish or just endearing himself toward them despite themselves.

He is always at work really, with jokes and flattery or mischief and teasing, to get the resources he wants and needs. Case and point, when he makes a big coquettish show for mianmian, definitely not being "people pleasing" for her, but the group of girls around them all find it funny and cute and in the end she gives him a perfume sachet which ends up being a valuable resource for later. Or the time he outright tells Jiang Cheng that if you give the girls some lotus seeds they'll remember you and return the favour in the future. (Also notice how his interactions with girls seen as flirtatious are actually strategic resource-gathering acts.) These are the skills he has developed to meet his own needs. (THIS IS NOT A CHARACTER FLAW. I REPEAT.) He takes what he needs and steals from the Lotus Pier markets knowing it'll be paid for, he lives like he never know when his next windfall will come from so he'll take what he can when he can find it. Like Jiang Fengmian said, if there is no guarantee of a meal in the future then today's meal should still be enjoyed. It’s how Wei WuXian said to Nie Huaisang at Cloud Recesses, you have to find ways to make your own fun out of whatever you have. So he gets kicked out of class, goes fishing, gets alcohol, he pursues his own pleasure. He actually is quite insistent of his own agency and right to choose, he just can never directly say no.

And that little detail that Wei WuXian always tucks coins into his clothes just in case, that makes him able to buy food when he and Jiang Cheng are on the run... breaks my heart and reveals so much about the way Wei WuXian is constantly at work on ensuring his own survival and never takes for granted whether he is safe (he knows he never is). 

I've seen some people talking about Wei WuXian sacrificing so much for his brother and sister out of a need to be accepted out of a chronic sense of insecurity. But isn’t this just true? Doesn't he live in a world where being accepted is absolutely essential for survival? Doesn’t this whole story show the cruelty of a social system based on networks of hereditary/biological family that closes out and scapegoats any outsiders, and that without biological family connections that can enclose around you, you can never truly be safe if not constantly working to earn acceptance? (And then beautifully ends with the way a gay romantic relationship that queers marriage/family/etc disrupts all this and creates safety and inclusion for Wei WuXian without needing a normative family.) (AKA romantic love does not resolve some internal personal problem in Wei WuXian but disrupts and refuses and rebels against the problem of SOCIETY.) (*breathes heavily*)

And that’s why Lan WangJi is magnetizing to Wei WuXian. Lan WangJi is always saying no. Although what Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian is an exterior wildness, Wei WuXian is not really out of control so much as he is playing and caring and supplicating and showing off and pleasing people to get the resources and the acceptance he needs to live his life. He has firm values and desires that he can never outwardly state, only creatively spinning plates to distract and deflect while he refuses what goes against his values, protects who he cares for, or takes what he needs to in order to survive/thrive. Lan WangJi embodies an exterior of resoluteness and direct agency that Wei WuXian doesn't have the luxury of. And he's so drawn to him for his ability to repeatedly say no, to refuse to get along, or make others laugh, make other people happy, but just simply follow what he thinks is right.

Wei WuXian’s outward wild movement protects an inward stillness. He is an exterior of people-pleasing around an interior of refusal. He is an exterior of youthful rebellion around an interior of unflinching morality. He sees in Lan WangJi the outward expression of his stillness, his morality, his resistance that he can't express, that he's had to protect.

FYI after the cut gets more into the dynamics of consent in the story, and the last paragraph directly talks about consensual non-consent kink play in wangxian’s relationship.

When Wei WuXian is with Lan WangJi, there is no work to be done. Lan WangJi cannot be swayed by him, and so there's no point vying for resources or favors. Lan WangJi will either give him everything or refuse him everything based on who he is, it does not matter what Wei WuXian does and he can't do anything that will change Lan WangJi’s mind. Someone he literally can't win over. After the resurrection, they are often in an adorable tug of war, where Wei WuXian tries to take care of Lan WangJi, while Lan WangJi won't allow him to but demands to care of Wei WuXian right back. Actually, Lan WangJi insists that Wei WuXian take everything he wants or needs from him and is even angry when he doesn't take or when Wei WuXian tries to offer a gesture in return, even something as simple as a thank you Lan WangJi won't accept. It’s kind of adorable how frustrated Wei WuXian is in doing this thing he's learned that he needs to do, and just... so confused by Lan WangJi, and has to find a way to please this person who aggressively refuses to be pleased and is ONLY pleased by Wei WuXian being pleased.

(Not to mention the way Wei WuXian delights in finding that Lan WangJi can’t say what he wants, and they have sort of these chaotic cohesive both-being-so-pleased-by-working-hard-to-please each-other moments where Wei WuXian is letting Lan WangJi please him by finding out what pleases Lan WangJi and giving it to him.)

The wildness Lan WangJi had always hidden within himself is something he sees as just as dangerous as Wei WuXian thinks of his desire to refuse. He saw his mother be socially alienated, shunned, and eventually die because of her wildness. His ability to survive in the world, aka to be accepted by his family, is contingent on him being able to control this inner wildness. From a young age (re: Phoenix Mountain kiss) he could only understand his sexual desires for Wei WuXian as something repulsive or dangerous that had to be repressed and controlled, and that the only way he could imagine his desires as possible was as non-consensual. His secret gay desires were never available to him as anything but something monstrous.

Importantly, it’s not like everyone else other than Lan WangJi are all vampires cruelly demanding Wei WuXian’s constant sacrifice. Wei WuXian is always vibrantly, charismatically offering so much, before anyone has asked. It’s Wei WuXian who creates this kind of relationship for himself again and again. It’s Lan WangJi who simply refuses - he refuses to charmed, to be cared for. And so in the end Lan WangJi becomes the one person who Wei WuXian feels doesn't need anything from him. When he says he's eating the corpse's fruit to save Lan WangJi money and Lan WangJi says that will never be necessary. Or when Wei WuXian asks what toy he should win for Lan WangJi at the market game, and Lan WangJi says anything Wei WuXian gets will be the one he wants. (XD stahhhhp it’s too sweet !!!) He really just wants Wei WuXian to be, to exist, to spend his life discovering his own desires and allow Lan WangJi to help satisfy them, he doesn't want anything from Wei WuXian other than him living - happy and safe.

It takes someone like Lan WangJi to refuse Wei WuXian’s aggressive generosity, it’s definitely not an easy thing to say no to Wei WuXian, dazzling or annoying people so chaotically before they even realize there’s something to say no to. The sacrifice he gives to Jiang Cheng, he never even offers a choice - and perhaps it would have been too much for Jiang Cheng to accept if he had the chance.

Lan WangJi’s statement "Between us there is no need for thank you and sorry" seems like one of the most important sentences in the novel, and you can’t help but noticed the way “sorry” and “thank you” is littered meaningfully through the book. What is owed, what the characters owe to each other, the give and take, touches every part of the story (down to wangxian's erotic explorations!).

When Jiang Cheng talks to Wei WuXian at the Guanyin temple he makes a lot of contradictory statements about what Wei WuXian owes, what he was given, what he took, what he (Wei WuXian still) is owed in return. Wei WuXian, according to Jiang Cheng, took everything from the Jiang clan, and paid them back with their deaths. The Jiang clan give him his life when they took him in, and he owed Jiang Cheng service for the rest of his life as the right hand to the sect leader, that’s what Wei WuXian had promised anyway. At the same time, Wei WuXian sacrificed everything (his golden core) to Jiang Cheng, by giving everything he was taking one more thing - Jiang Cheng’s right to even be angry at him. Jiang Cheng had taken everything from Wei WuXian. Everything that happened around Wei WuXian after could be said to be because of the loss of his golden core, which Jiang Cheng might be said to be responsible for. But he never asked for it, maybe he never would have wanted it. He wishes Wei WuXian told him, but Jiang Cheng never told Wei WuXian his golden core was melted while he was sacrificing himself to save Wei WuXian. He wants Wei wuxian to say sorry, but that makes him feel pathetic. And Jiang Cheng says sorry too. It’s a mess of paradoxes, and in the end somehow it seems like the scales are balanced in the most hollow, dismal way.

What is owed, what is given, what is taken ... Wei WuXian has never been part of a family. He has always had to say thank you and sorry for everything he's taken. Wei WuXian himself admits that he used "thank you" as a way to enforce distance between himself and Lan WangJi. Lan WangJi's point i think is that they belong to each other, Wei WuXian is his, and he is Wei WuXian's, unconditionally. The way that Jiang Cheng speaks of him in the Guanyin temple (admittedly I read a fan translation and this is very nuanced, related to slight variations of grammar), even when Jiang Cheng clearly is so broken by the loss of Wei WuXian from his life, he talks about Wei WuXian as an outsider. It is what MY family gave to YOU, never what you took from our family. But at one point Wei WuXian was part of their family - but he takes too much, and becomes an ex-disciple, not a brother. Wei WuXian’s inclusion as a Jiang was always conditional. 

Even when Wen Qing and Wen Ning leave him to go take the blame for qiongqing path they tell him "thank you and sorry", drawing a line between them and him, so he doesn’t even belong to these people who he sacrificed everything for. The way Wei WuXian acted when he was younger, he was always keenly aware of this - he always knew that he didn’t belong to anyone, no one is going to protect him unconditionally. And after first escaping the Burial Mounds, he is done pretending. When Lan WangJi warns him about what a demonic cultivation path will do to his heart, Wei WuXian replies: “After all, on the topic of how my heart is, what could other people know about it? Why should other people care about it?” He is done pleasing. Nothing has changed really, he still belongs to no one and is alone, but now he is angry about it, and instead of saying thank you and sorry he is going to become too powerful to be at anyone's mercy. And then we see in the story afterward what happens to people who don't say thank you and sorry.

The whole point I think is the impossibility of choice, the impossibility of consent in this society. If he didn't forgo the behaviour his social acceptance was conditional on, he wouldn't have survived the burial mounds. But once he becomes powerful enough to survive and get revenge on the Wens, he is socially outcast. Except he was already outcast from the beginning.

And so how do Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi find a way through all that to a life together where all their desires are possible, where Wei WuXian can say no while also being pleasing (safe) to others, and Lan WangJi can indulge in his wild desires while still being good? The answer is kinky sex!

It is kind of miraculous and beautiful how Wei WuXian finds a way to say no, while simultaneously pleasing Lan WangJi, giving pleasure, while taking it, saying no, and knowing his refusal is not just tolerated, but gives Lan WangJi pleasure, knowing Lan wangji and knowing the painful belief Lan WangJi holds within that his desires are unacceptable and unspeakable, and that Wei WuXian can take care of Lan Wangji in a secret little way and please him and give everything to him by craving this wildness in Lan WangJi while at the same time he gets to say no again and again , and it won't push Lan WangJi away, he can refuse everything while at the same time be totally pleasing and thus safe, and also for Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian's pleasure at saying "no" while still being held onto, that he genuinely wants to be fucked even while begging Lan WangJi to stop (and the many ways he does give his consent for this throughout, especially their first time), allows Lan WangJi the ecstatic feeling that this idea that his sexual desires are only possible through force are not just something his lover forgives him for but something his lover is SO turned on by, and that he has consent for his fantasies of non-consent, Wei WuXian has the same fantasies from the other side, he is doing what he is supposed to while doing what he shouldn't, and actually these monstrous feelings in him allow him to take care of Wei WuXian in a way that he needs - that they both need - and all these impulses that are so wrong with Wei WuXian become very right and a way to do good. And they are just both so perfect and perfect for each other and I love them and I am so happy for them to have a long kinky life together.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖈𝖊 I || professor!helmut zemo x reader

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞 : history is so much more interesting when he’s teaching it.  you’d better be careful before the two of you end up with a history of your own.

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙 : 6k

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 : smut (incl. semi-public sex in an office and oral f receiving), significant age gap (reader is 20, zemo is 39; it isn’t actually mentioned though but it comes up in the next part), the slightest bit of angst?, nearly pwp at this point lol

                                    You wouldn’t know it by the way you were enraptured with his lecture, but you weren’t even a history major.  

Quite far from it, really, well outside of the college of liberal arts, and yet here you were in the front row, watching him gesture over a large map of Western Europe while he explained the sociocultural impacts of the Treaty of Versailles.

It was probably pretty obvious why you took such interest in all this, though.  After all, you were the only one who dressed as well as he did, your blazers and skirts and loafers standing out amongst a sea of hoodies and sweats and flip-flops; and, you were the only one who paid close attention and yet never seemed to be taking any notes…

Why would you, after all?  Looking away to write in your notebook would mean missing out on all the fun, and unfortunately you had found that when you copied down the words he spoke, his accent was not retained in writing.

Some kid in the back of the class had asked about his accent the first day; you thought it was kind of a rude question, if you were being honest, but he didn’t seem to mind too much (if perhaps a bit surprised that anyone cared).  He explained he was from a small country called Sokovia, but that his accent was a bit unique since he spoke Russian, German, Spanish, and Italian as well.

Because of course he did.  Like he was specifically designed to target all your weaknesses.

“Well, I could talk about that for the rest of the evening but I’ll spare you all and let you out a bit early today, how does that sound?” Professor Zemo offered.  The other students weakly cheered, a few claps here and there as you heard binders shutting and backpacks being zipped, but you were disappointed.  You didn’t want to go back to your dorm, all you were going to do there was think about him anyways.

Damn, I’ve really got it bad, you thought to yourself, shaking your head as you stood up and gathering your things, slinging your bag over your shoulder.  You glanced up at the podium where another student was chatting with Professor Zemo, and either he said something really funny or she was trying way too hard to flirt with him.  You rolled your eyes, irritated by the display and yet envious of her audacity to just go up there and talk to him.  Imagine having a crush and actually being able to look them in the eye and hold a conversation; you could barely do that with people you didn’t happen to find attractive.

Just as you were about to make it out the door, you heard your name and spun around.  You were shocked to realize it was the Professor trying to get your attention.  If only you’d thought to pretend you hadn’t heard him.

“Could I speak with you for a moment?” he requested, motioning you over with two curled fingers.  With a swallow and a nod, you stepped out of the flow of students exiting into the hallway and approached the desk at the front of the room.

“What is it?” you asked.

“I just wanted to discuss your most recent paper, if you have some time,” he explained, and your heart sunk.  Of course it was garbage, you’d written the whole thing last minute during a near-all-nighter.  “I still have the copy you turned in here in my bag.”

“Right, of course— sure,” you nodded.  By now the classroom was empty spare for the two of you, your words echoing slightly; presumably that was intentional, since these places were built for acoustics, but it made you worry you’d have to hear whatever criticism he had for you multiple times.

He pulled out the slightly-wrinkled paper and took his glasses off of his vest to wear (fuck, did he have to wear the glasses, just to personally attack you?) as he glanced over the top page before folding it over the staple.

“This essay,” he continued, “it’s—”

Ridiculous.  Idiotic.  A blight on humanity and a waste of printer ink.

“Fascinating,” he finished, surprising you.  “After I read it, I searched your student profile on my office computer—”

You gulped, trying not to take that as a compliment.

“I’m looking at your information and I’m seeing you aren’t even a history major— is this a mistake, when it says your major is computer science?”

“No, that’s my major,” you nodded.

“Well, that’s a shame,” he decided, “because you have some really interesting ideas in here, clearly you must have studied history before.”

“I mean, not really,” you shrugged.  “I didn’t even care that much about history until, you know, you...r class,” you finished quickly, realizing it sounded too odd otherwise.

And that smile, the way he looked down at the floor suddenly, was he blushing?  “Thank you.  I’m always… glad to inspire.”

If only you knew everything you’d inspired in me, Professor.

“If you didn’t care about history, what would motivate you to register for an honors history seminar?” he asked suddenly.  

“Well…” you trailed off, reaching up to scratch the back of your neck as you dodged his gaze.

“It couldn’t possibly be because I’m teaching it,” he realized.

“I came to your talk last year, the one you did about the Sokovian civil war,” you finally admitted, letting out a lungful of air as you said it and looking up at him sheepishly.

“Ah,” he nodded, “yes, that might make a bit more sense.  But we still haven’t found the real reason, have we?”  His eyebrow raised slightly and you felt like he was toying with you— but you liked it, the shiver that ran up your spine made that obvious.  “Because the question remains of what would possess a computer science student to take time out of her busy schedule on a Friday night— if I recall the night correctly— to listen to some stuffy visiting scholar talk about a bloody war in a country she may not have even heard of before.”

“My friend brought me,” you defended.

“Under what guise?” he pressed.

“She… may have mentioned something about… a cute professor with a sexy accent…” you stammered, cringing slightly as you spared a glance back up at him.  He was staring back at you with the most bewildering expression.  His eyes said ‘you thought I was cute?’, and yet his smile said ‘I knew it.’

“You must’ve been horribly disappointed when I took the stage,” he finally replied, voice a bit lower, softer, not echoing around the room anymore.  

“Not at all,” you returned, almost below your breath now, and suddenly you became very aware that you were standing too close to him, but you couldn’t move away, you couldn’t even look away anymore.  “I’m here, aren’t I?  Taking your class?”

“And you make it nearly impossible to focus, did you know that?  I swear your eyes never leave me, I can feel them on me.  It’s quite unfair, because I can’t stare back at you no matter how much I want to.”

Just as you looked down at his lips and back up to his eyes, which seemed to be following a similar pattern on your own face, just when you thought this might be it and you were about to do something you really shouldn’t (but really wanted to), you heard the door open behind you and you spun around so fast you nearly hurt your neck.

“Oh,” the man in the doorway mumbled, apparently surprised to see you enough to nearly drop the papers tucked under his arm.  “I’m teaching the next class in here— Honors History of Islam?”

“Professor Waters, yes, my apologies,” Zemo nodded, “we were just… our discussion ran a bit long, we’ll get out of your way.”

You and Zemo awkwardly gathered your things and made a dash for the door as the older professor took his place at the podium.  Once the two of you were out in the hall, you let out a sigh and gave each other a glance, like you were each waiting for the other to either acknowledge or ignore what had just (almost) happened.

“I have my next class across campus in a half hour,” he remembered suddenly, lifting his arm and pulling back the brown sleeve of his coat to look at his watch.  

“Right, you should… get to that,” you nodded.

“Walk with me?” he proposed, and you hoped your smile wasn’t as beaming as it felt.  

“I’d love to.”

So maybe you ended up skipping your evening class to sit in the back of his History of England course.  And, perhaps, he ended that one early, too, this time to buy you coffee at the student center; and your discussion ended up going on so long that the coffee shop closed and you had to go to his office to finish the conversation.

But, in a certain sense, it could be argued that you never really got a chance to finish that conversation after all… because a few moments after he shut the door to his office, you, for lack of a better term, jumped his bones.

“Fuck,” he mumbled against your lips as you pulled him closer by his jacket, “we can’t do this.”

You nodded, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck.  “Mhm, yeah, you’re right,” you agreed breathlessly.

His hands took their place at your waist as you both stepped back, the back of your legs bumping into his desk which you jumped up slightly to sit on.

“I mean, we really can’t do this,” he continued, kissing your neck instead now while your legs wrapped around his hips, your skirt riding up slightly, your fingers fumbling with the buttons on his collar.  “I want to, overwhelmingly so, but we can’t.”

“I know,” you sighed; your head fell back when his teeth grazed over your pulse, and his hand was right there to catch it and hold it up, gripping the back of your neck.

“This absolutely cannot happen,” he groaned when your legs pulled him closer, something hard and hot pressing up against your thigh through his trousers and you were really hoping it wasn’t just his cell phone.

Then he rocked his hips, just barely, and you felt the outline of the ridge of his head and it was definitely not his phone unless he had the most suggestively-shaped phone case of all time.  You gasped and grabbed his face to kiss him again, shamelessly desperate now, weaving your fingers into the hair just above the back of his neck.

By now you had managed to get a few of his buttons open so when you slid your fingers down from time to time, they ran over his chest and the patch of dark blonde hair there.  Funny enough, you couldn’t remember having any strong opinions on chest hair before this afternoon, but now you felt your walls fluttering around nothing.  

He helped you shed your blazer just before tossing his own coat aside, never breaking the kiss, holding your face gently while he pushed you down to lay on his desk— he reached behind you to clear a few stray papers out of the way first.  

Your back hit the glossy wood and his weight pinned you down, rough hands sliding up your legs and under your skirt as you tried to push your hips up for more friction where you needed him most.

He pushed your hips back down, not too roughly but definitely enough to get your attention, before sliding his hands up your skirt again where he toyed with the hem of your panties.

You wanted to say something, more specifically you wanted to beg him to touch you, but you had this fear that if you spoke now it would all become real and he would stop because, as he had so poignantly noted, this can’t happen.  And both of you knew that… so maybe it would be easier to let it happen if neither of you really acknowledged it.

Luckily, he didn’t tease you too long, reaching under the fabric and swiping the rough pads of his fingers over your slickened folds.  You choked on your gasp, accidentally digging your nails into his shoulders when he drew delicate circles around your clit.  All at once, he suddenly pushed those fingers right inside you and your back arched; you needed so much more than just his fingers but the way they twisted and curled against your walls was nearly perfect as well.  

They didn’t stay long, quickly pulling back as you watched him quickly open his trousers just before you felt the head of him pushing up to your entrance.

His eyes met yours, dark with need, yet somehow clearly asking you for permission, making sure this was what you wanted: and fuck, you wanted it more than anything.  The moment that you nodded, he began to push forward— slow and deliberate, but unyielding.  

Perhaps as a perfect healthy college student in a male-dominated major, you had no real excuse for it to have been so long since you’d had sex.  As you liked to put it: dating as a woman in computer science means the odds are good but the goods are odd.  Truth be told, you weren’t sure at this point if having had sex any time in the past year would’ve prepared you for him anyway.  It felt like he was forging a new path inside you— certainly a wider one than anyone else ever had since he was so thick.  

With his hips fully seated against yours, the tip of his cock just reached the end of you, just barely brushed over those sensitive spots you didn’t even know you had before.

It stung a bit to be filled this thoroughly, so it was no wonder you were biting down on your lip hard enough to bruise it, your fingers clutching at his shirt tightly.

“Am I hurting you?” he whispered, finally breaking the silence, voice strained like he was struggling just as much as you were (though in an entirely different way).

“A little,” you admitted.  “Please don’t stop.”

He groaned a few curses as he started to move back, and forth, and so slow you could hardly stand it.  

“Fuck,” you breathed, “oh my god, harder, please…”

A little smile crossed his face, a sharp exhale almost like a laugh, and it made your cheeks burn even hotter than they already were.  But, he obeyed, regardless, more aggressive in his movements yet not any faster as he held your hips to keep you from sliding across the desk’s glossy wood surface.

Your moans were starting to echo around the office’s beige walls at this point, and he snarled as he bit down on your neck.  “You need to stay quiet,” he hissed in your ear.  “Can you do that for me?  Can you stay quiet even when I’m making you feel so good?”

“I-I’m trying,” you whimpered, “your cock is… so deep…”

“Oh, I know,” he cooed, voice heavy with faux pity, “poor thing, you can’t take it?”

“No!” you yelped.  “I can take it!  Please, please don’t stop.”

“I won’t have to if you stay quiet, darling, we can’t have somebody hearing you now can we?” he chuckled, licking and sucking at your pulse point as your eyes rolled back in your head.  “We can’t have somebody hearing you cry for me, and coming in here, and seeing you laying on my desk getting fucked by your professor, right?”

What the hell was wrong with you that that idea actually turned you on?  Why did it actually make you want to moan louder until everyone could hear you?

And when his cock speared right against that spongy spot inside you, you did exactly that and he had to suddenly clamp his hand down over your mouth.

“Fuck,” he growled, “you’re going to get us both in trouble.”

Your attempts at apologies were totally incomprehensible with his hand over your mouth, not that they were likely to have made much sense either way.

Blinking your eyes shut, your legs began to quiver slightly as he rutted into you, your toes curling inside your loafers.  You felt so full you could hardly stand it, stretched so wide that you were forced to feel every detail of his cock as it filled you.  Already your walls were bearing down on him; you couldn’t help it, it was like your body was just his instrument now and instinct had taken control of your movements.  

His accent was definitely stronger now as he whispered in your ear, praising you gruffly.  You knew from the beginning that you loved high marks and encouragement from your teachers, but this… this was different, and you hadn't known how much it would affect you.

"Good girl," he breathed, "you're taking me so well, draga, you feel so perfect around me."

You whined from behind his hand and he chuckled at your obvious neediness.

"You like making me feel good, darling?" he presumed, his smile pressing against your neck between nipping kisses to your pulse point.  "You like knowing that I can barely take this tight cunt gripping me so well, that I'm already addicted to your precious body and want to fill it with my seed?"

With your eyes rolling back in your head you nodded feverishly, heavy in your state of total delirium as he pumped his cock deep into you over and over.

You reached up to try to pull his hand away from your mouth, and he met your gaze with fire in his eyes.

“If I take my hand away, will you be good?” he challenged, and you nodded feverishly.  He was a bit hesitant but slowly moved his hand down, and though you did have to keep biting your lip, you managed to restrain yourself.

Every drag of the ridge of his head inside you was somehow more intense than the last, somehow hitting right at your spot and it was like each rough thrust knocked his name out of your mind and onto your lips until you were chanting it like a prayer, or a plea.

And each time you said it, he fucked you harder, snarling and whispering your name back to you a few times, in between little praises; "Beautiful," he mumbled, "such a sweet little girl… such a perfect cunt."

“I— fuck, I’m gonna—” you stammered your warning.  

“Will you come for me?” he finished for you, and you nodded quickly.

“Fuck, I’m so close,” you hissed.

It was obvious just by the build-up that you were going to come hard, pleasure tightening in your core until you were sure that it would spill over but it just kept going, making you wonder if it would ever reach the breaking point.

And oh boy did it, it slammed into you in fact, and your legs quivered as you struggled for air.  He growled in your ear, fucking you harder through it all, stroking every place that had only become even more sensitive.  The moment you could form words again, you were wasting the ability on a string of swears and promises you couldn’t keep.

“Yours, fuck, it’s yours,” you sobbed.  He chuckled a little, pulling back to examine your face which must have given away how fucked-out and cockdrunk you were already.

“Say it again,” he demanded darkly, holding you tighter, fucking you a bit more deliberately though not any less aggressively.

“Yours,” you gasped, cut off by a rough and dominating kiss.  Your moans were lost to his tongue but he didn’t need them to know you were coming, the way your body gripped him tighter than ever was sign enough.

“So good,” he whispered against your lips, “you’re doing so good for me…”

His words washed over your skin and soothed you like a salve, bringing some relief from the overwhelming feelings his body was assaulting yours with.

All things considered, he was still moving rather slowly, each of his thrusts measured and patient, and never really changing speed even as you were coming around him.  Weak little cries fell from your throat each time his hips met yours and the tip of his cock kissed the deepest parts of you.

Your body went limp in his arms and you hadn't noticed before how good it felt for him to hold you, for his strong hands to support you like it was nothing.  His thumb gently stroked your back through your shirt and you mewled weakly into his shoulder.

"So good, draga, so fucking good," he mumbled, holding you closer.

"Please… faster," you whimpered, "I want you to come."

"Is that what you want?" he taunted, ignoring the way you nodded immediately.  "You want to make me come, darling?"

"Yes, please, want it so much," you gasped.

He finally sped up, though it was still nothing like the lightning-speed jackhammering you were used to from guys your age: it was better, certainly, especially when he lifted your leg onto his shoulder and pushed so deep you saw stars.

The second one seemed to hit you all at once, almost out of nowhere, and you heard yourself mumble, “Professor, I’m coming.”  It sounded a bit pitiful, the way you said it, but he apparently didn’t mind as you felt him nod encouragingly in the crook of your neck.

You felt totally drained by now, exhausted even though all you’d been doing was lying there and taking it, but you knew he wasn’t done with you yet.  But, if the way his thrusts were becoming more desperate and erratic were anything to go by, he might be done with you soon.

"I'm going to come inside you," he groaned against your ear.  You were, like, 99.9% sure that if you told him not to, he would pull out, but the way that he phrased it, like a demand, like you didn't have a choice and he would do it either way… it had an effect on you, one he noticed when your channel tightened around him instantly.  "Oh, you like that idea, hm?  You want to be full of my come?  Your sweet little cunt is already trying to milk every drop from me."

"Yes," you breathed, "fuck, I want your come in me, please!"

He sped up quite a bit then, each slam of his hips into yours making you choke on a whine, your arms weakly clinging onto him for dear life.

You could feel his cock swelling, flexing, pushing your body to its limits as he moaned lowly through his teeth, streams of come making you feel warm and full.

He didn't stop until every drop was in you, thrusting in time with each pump of his release until he slowed to a stop.

Strands of hair fell into his face as he hung his head, panting hard and fast.  You melted back onto the desk, realizing this might be the first time in a solid half hour your back wasn’t arched.

It was a bit of a struggle to keep your eyes open against the heavy fog of afterglow that filled your mind; you couldn’t remember the last time you felt so… satiated.  As a college student, you were always thinking about the next assignment, mentally re-evaluating your calendar, or preparing for something— and usually all on less than six hours of sleep.

But now your mind was as close to a blank slate as it had been in at least a decade.  Even though you probably should’ve been, you weren’t even thinking about the potential consequences of this, the implications, the risks.  No, you were just staring up at him, thinking about kissing him again.

He would have to lean down for that, though; there was no way you were going to sit up now.

You hadn't even noticed that you had closed your eyes, almost falling asleep right there on his desk, until you felt his hand cradle your face softly, a calloused thumb rubbing over your cheek.

In unison, the both of you sighed deeply.

As much as it felt like a real effort, you blinked open your eyes and looked up at him, watching him comb his fingers through his hair.  It only messed up the style even further yet he looked better than ever.

He slowly moved his hips back, leaving you annoyingly empty, and readjusted himself until he almost looked put together again… but his collar was still uneven and his lips still looked bitten and there was still that precious pinkish hue on his cheeks.  If anyone else saw him in this state, they’d either know what happened between you two or think he’d just run across campus or something.

If anyone else saw him in this state, you’d be a little jealous, to be totally honest.

You got back to work trying to right your appearance as well, though you knew the best you could hope for was only mildly presentable; he looked at you like you’d never looked better, though.

“Well, this was fun,” you chuckled breathlessly, “but it’s getting pretty late and I have an eight a.m. tomorrow…”

“Yeah, so do I,” he nodded, glancing away.  

You picked up your bag from where you’d dropped it by the door, lifting the strap over your shoulder and starting to turn to leave.

"I… I should walk you back to your dorm," he announced, making you smile.

"That's sweet, but save your chivalry.  I can take care of myself just fine."

"But—"

"I think it's safer if we're not seen together walking together by my dorm," you interjected, "especially when I'm walking a little funny…"

"I hope I didn't hurt you," he winced sympathetically.

"No, trust me, that was… exactly what I needed," you breathed.  He smiled a little, looking down at the floor.

"Then I'll see you in class," he nodded, watching you closely as you stepped back and picked up your bag, starting to leave his office with one last small wave goodbye.  “Wait, wait!” he whispered harshly just before you could let go of his door, and you giggled as he leaned out into the hall and glanced around to make sure no one was nearby.  

When he confirmed the coast was clear, he smiled and grabbed your face with one hand, pulling you into a sudden kiss.  And you smiled too— you couldn’t help it— as you kissed him back, almost ready for him to drag you back into that office and start this all over again.  He did let you go, though, with one more whispered ‘goodnight’ and a look that made your heart do little somersaults.

As you finally did make your way back to your dorm, you tried to figure out if that was a goodbye kiss or a ‘see you soon’ kiss.  Or maybe a ‘thanks for the one-time office quickie’ kiss?  But you didn’t know enough about this sort of thing to know if that was even an option.

All you did know was that you really hoped it wasn’t the last kiss you’d have with him.

Can I speak to you in my office today after class?  Thank you.

-Z

You may ask yourself: can one simple email, in only thirteen words, strike fear into the hearts of those who read it?  And the answer is yes, assuming that email is from Professor Helmut Zemo and read by the lovestruck student who slept with him two days ago and hasn't stopped thinking about it since.

Only one of a few things could happen in his office after class, and there was a massive gap between the best and worst case scenarios.  You dressed for the best but prepared yourself psychologically for the worst.

You caught him staring as you walked past the teaching podium to your seat in the front; you just hoped nobody else caught him.  And if you'd thought paying attention in class was tough before, boy oh boy was it a challenge now.  The nerves of what he wanted to discuss with you were bad enough alone, but that combined with memories from two days earlier randomly assaulting your psyche was just overwhelming.

When he pointed at the map with two fingers, you could remember exactly how those fingers had felt inside you, twisting and curling and getting you ready for his cock.

When he spoke, you could hear the difference in his voice compared to how he groaned out his praises while he was fucking you within a damn inch of your life.

And every once in a while, when he couldn’t help but glance at you for a moment, his gaze burned right through you; you were helpless to those brown eyes, completely paralyzed by them, and it must’ve been hours of that before class finally ended.

For the first time, you were the first person out the door when he released the class.  As much as it was going to be a little bit weird to beat him to his office, it was certainly better than any of your other options.  There was a chair in the hall beside the door, and you took a seat and pretended to read a book just to look busy (there was no way you could actually turn symbols on a page into readable language right now, not when you knew he’d be here any minute to talk about… something).

Your peripheral caught him coming down the hall, but you pretended to be deeply immersed in your book until he was right beside you, unlocking his door and opening it for you and himself.  Tucking your book away and following him inside, you found him already staring at you, expression completely unreadable.  Your gut sank in anticipation of whatever conversation this was going to become, and a moment passed in heavy silence.

"Hi," you greeted plainly, letting out a quick breath.

"Hi," he returned.  "Close the door behind you."

You nodded and did as you were told, quietly pushing the wood back until the door latched before approaching where he had come to stand beside his desk.  Though you didn't originally intend to, you found yourself standing a bit too close.

"I'm not quite sure where to start," he admitted, chuckling breathlessly as he reached up to rub the back of his neck.  He looked cute flustered, which was a shame because his tone seemed to imply you needed to not be thinking about how cute he was.  “Listen, you should know that what happened before… it was a mistake,” he sighed.  “It can’t happen again.”

“Do you regret it?” you asked point-blank.

“It can’t happen again,” he repeated in lieu of a real answer, and you looked closely at his face; you didn’t find as much confidence there as you were looking for, it wasn’t the face of a man who knew he was making the right choice.  You certainly didn’t think he was making the right choice.

“Why did you want to have this conversation alone in your office, then?” you challenged.

He cleared his throat slightly.  “So no one would hear us.”

“Hear us talk?” you pressed.  “Is that all?”

“That’s… definitely the plan,” he nodded, swallowing dryly.  "Like I said, it was a mistake— my fault, not yours.  And I just hope we can put it behind us respectfully."

“All the best mistakes are made at least twice,” you whispered, reaching up to trail your finger down his lapel.  “Don’t you think?”

“Don’t do that,” he requested tensely.

"Do what?"

"That," he hissed.  "Stop being… irresistible," he clarified, eyes darting from your lips to your finger to your eyes and back again.  "A man can only take so much.  I'm trying to do right by you."

"You already did when you fucked me that good," you smirked.  "Nothing else could be as right as that."

Your fingers were just barely brushing over his belt when he grabbed you by the wrist.  Jaw tight and eyes solemn, he shook his head.

You wrenched out of his grasp with a nod.  It was worth a shot, but you didn't want to be that person who couldn't take no for an answer— so, you gave him a little smile and readjusted the strap of your bag.  “Well, if it was just the once, then you should know that I’m still glad it happened.  Even if it shouldn’t have.”

He nodded, strategically not speaking— but you knew he would agree, if he could.

“And if it’s any consolation to you now, you were the best I ever had.”

You reached for the doorknob, just starting to turn it and open your way out when he suddenly slammed it shut with a hand right above your head, making you gasp and spin around to look up at his dark gaze.

“Professor…” you whispered.

“The best you ever had?” he repeated, grinning proudly when you nodded.  “Oh, sweetheart, I wasn’t even trying.”  He leaned down to brush his lips against your ear as he whispered to you: “You don’t even know yet how good I can make you feel.”

A shiver ran up your spine; your tongue darted out to lick your lips.  “Are you going to get on with it and show me?”

He didn’t even let you step away from the door, dropping to his knees right there and pushing up your skirt to kiss and bite your thighs.  “Only if you ask very nicely,” he taunted with a brow raised in challenge.

“Please,” you breathed, “fuck, please, want you to taste me.”

His hands slid up your legs, grabbing the hem of your panties before sliding back down.

It wasn’t like you’d never been eaten out before, but this still felt like a first considering your skirt was pushed up to your waist, your panties were pulled down to your ankles, and even just one slow lick over your folds made it obvious he knew exactly what he was doing.

“F-fuck,” you choked, reaching down to weave your fingers into his hair.  He grinned against your skin and kept going, exploring you carefully before finally sucking on your swollen clit.  Your knees threatened to buckle, your head fell back against the door so hard it almost hurt, but all you could really feel was his mouth on you, moving like he knew your body better than you did.

So it was no wonder, then, that you already began to spiral towards your release, legs shaking around his head as he devoured you mercilessly.

"Oh my god, I—" you tried to warn him, but he already knew, and he pulled back to wipe his mouth with his sleeve and stand up.  He grabbed your jaw and kissed you roughly, stopping to whisper to you so close that his lips brushed against yours.

"I'm sorry, draga, but you've spoiled me… now that I've felt you come around my cock, I can't imagine making you come any other way.  I need to feel your cunt grip me so fucking tight… it's all I've been thinking about since I last saw you," he admitted.

"I thought about it, too," you sighed.  "I was up all night trying to make myself come as good as you did but I couldn't… your come was still leaking out of me."

He growled and leaned in to nip at your ear.  "Oh, poor thing… I can imagine it so easily, you laying in your bed with your legs spread, fingers getting exhausted from playing with your little pussy too much, these perfect lips whining for me because you need me to take care of you."

"H-Helmut, please," you whimpered.  

"Yeah, something like that," he smirked.

"I can't wait any more, just fuck me.  Need you inside me," you breathed.

"Then bend over my desk."

{part 2}

[lapetitechatonne]

Can I have this dance?

i am so obsessed with this ship, so here’s some more content.

ao3 link here

Kate’s Masterlist here!

Dani would never admit it, but she enjoyed being able to dress up on occasion. No matter how much she denied it, her time with Vlad made her like the finer things in life. Now, don’t get her wrong, she didn’t crave it like he did, but she could appreciate it.

Still, it felt odd, looking at herself in the mirror.

Her velvet, emerald dress was a simple silhouette, just slightly hugging her curves and a long slit up the leg. Her favorite part was the straps, which less resembled straps and more resembled a diamond necklace. They were a simple chains with beautiful stones that sparkled when she moved.

She put on the thin necklace that matched the straps, as well as a pair of dangly earrings Pamela insisted on. Not that Dani minded, Pamela was a bit much but the woman liked Dani better than any of Sam’s other friends, so she wasn’t unbearable. That was why Dani was going to the gala in the first place, Sam demanded to bring a friend and Dani was the only one Pamela could stand.

Dani slipped on a pair of long pearl-colored gloves and gave herself another once over. Her dark hair was pinned up, curls perfectly falling to frame her face. She liked the contrast against the white of the gloves.

“Are you ready?” Sam asked, her own silky plum dress catching in the light.

“As I’ll ever be.”

---

Mar’i could think of ten thousand things she’d rather be doing than attending another stupid gala. It was so unfair that Mar’i was the only person in her family who knew how to act at them. Like, get it together people, it’s just embarrassing at this point.

Whatever, not that it would change anything. The press was enamored with her every move as not only the first baby to be born into the Wayne family in how long, but also because she was the daughter of a model. Anytime she didn’t show up there were articles about it. Which, rude, where were the articles about Damian and Tim not being there?

Sexist press, with their stupid double standards and their stupid obsession with her.

She hated it here. But at least she got to wear a pretty dress. She liked pretty dresses, even more so if they twirled nice.

“So, any lucky boy yet?” Gag her with a spoon. “You know, your dad used to be quite the heartbreaker in his day. I always thought he’d end up with that Barbra girl myself. Funny how things work out, isn’t it?”

Mar’i focused very hard on not breaking the glass in her hand. God, didn’t these old women have anything better to do than gossip about her love life?

“No, I’m focusing on my studies right now,” She flashed her charming Grayson smile and the old ladies huddled around her cooed about her being so focused.

Mar’i spotted her dad out of the corner of her eye and excused herself. He was retreating to the snack table—not without her damnit.

That was until she collided with another person and spilled her drink on them. Fuck, this was going in the paper, wasn’t it?

---

Dani had no idea this would be so goddamn boring. She was going to die of boredom, again.

Everyone here was old. And annoying. And Sam had been whisked away the moment they got here, so why was Dani even here.

Dani ate another very small snack that she didn’t even try to pronounce, and contemplated just, phasing through the walls. Would anyone see her? Probably not, and Sam was preoccupied so it would be forever until she noticed. But neither of them had their phones so she couldn’t let her know she left without actually talking to her. Damn.

A waiter with a tray of champagne passed her and Dani was tempted to grab one but decided she should probably just find Sam. Escape plan or not, Dani was tired of being alone with these stuffy losers.

Why did they all have to smell like that? It’s like she’s walking through the worst perfume store ever, honestly, you’d think being this rich they could afford something better—

“Shit—” Dani bumped into someone and their drink spilled on her arm, soaking her glove and almost knocking her over. Damn, they were strong.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” Dani looked up and immediately felt her body freeze.

The girl’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern, her dark wavey hair half pulled up and half falling down her back. Her lilac tulle dress shimmered in the light—she looked like a fucking fairy.

The most beautiful fairy Dani had ever seen.

“Let me help you clean up, gosh I’m such a klutz.” The girl took Dani’s hand, and she could feel herself blushing.

Dani let the girl pull her through the crowd, careful to not trip on her own goddamn dress. The girl weaved through the crowd with practiced ease, her own t-length dress fluttering with each step. Was it weird that Dani liked the way she walked?—she’d have to ask someone later. Probably Tucker. He’d make fun of her the least.

The crowd started to thin, and suddenly they were in a hallway. They made a couple of turns that Dani didn’t retain at all—Pandora would be disappointed—before stopping at a bathroom.

The girl pulled out a washcloth—from where?—and ran it under the faucet. Dani took that as her queue to take her glove off.

“I really am sorry,” the girl pouted, and Dani could feel her heart beat a little faster.

“It’s okay,” Dani let out a strained laugh, “I was looking for a way out anyway. I’m not great in crowds of people.”

The girl looked up, her bright green eye almost seemed to glow while the glitter around her eyes shimmered in the bathroom lighting. Her smile was warm and welcoming, like she had all the love in the world to give.

“It can be a bit overwhelming, it’s it your first time?”

She put the washcloth down and picked up a hand towel, lightly drying Dani’s arm.

“Yeah, I’m here with a friend, well, really, she’s more my brother’s friend—but I um, I lost her. A while ago.”

She laughed, and Dani decided it was her favorite sound. God, she sounded like one of those bad romance books Jazz thought she hide well. She could practically hear Danny teasing her.

“I’m Mar’i, by the way. Hand me your glove?” Dani fumbled for a second before passing it over.

“I’m Danielle, or Dani—with an i—if you um, want.” Dani blushed, again, god what was wrong with her. Surly she was coming down with something because it was way too hot in here.

“My name’s spelled with an ‘i’ too, isn’t that funny?” Her heart skipped a beat. “Well, it shouldn’t stain,” Mar’i said as she ran the glove under steaming water, “but better to wash it out just in case. My dad’s lost quite a few shirts that way.”

“Well, um, thank you. For helping. Pamela would never forgive me if I ruined her gloves,” Dani laughed, and tried not to be as awkward as she felt, but it was hard with the way she could hear her own heartbeat. Usually, she couldn’t even tell if it was beating to begin with.

She was definitely coming down with something. A ghost sickness? Was the Gotham smog just finally getting to her?

“Well,” Mar’i turned off the water and rung out the glove, “that should do it, but you can’t very well put it back on.” She scrunched her nose and Dani had the sudden urge to reach out and soothe the line on her face. Because that wasn’t weird or anything. “I suppose we can hang it in the kitchen for now, we’ll just have to get it back to you before you leave.” Dani’s heart thumped at the idea of seeing Mar’i again. “Is that alright?”

Dani nodded and Mar’i beamed. Dani found herself grinning back.

“I’ll take you there, so you know the way in case you can’t find me later.”

“Lead the way.” Dani tried not to be too excited about going off with Mar’i. It was just because she was more interesting than anything else here. Yeah, that was it.

---

Mar’i walked out into the hallway and waited a moment for Dani to catch up. She adjusted the neckline of her emerald green, velvet dress, and Mar’i thanked the stars that she didn’t spill any on her dress.

It was a beautiful dress. The thin straps were made of gold chained jewels that matched the small pins that decorated her dark hair. Mar’i tried not to let her breath catch as Dani carefully removed her other glove and folded it up in her hand.

Dani joined her in the hallway, and Mar’i realized she was staring. She felt her cheeks heat up as they walked back the way they came.

“So,” Mar’i turned to see Dani looking around the hallway, “you know this place pretty well. Do you come to these things a lot?”

“I should, it’s my grandpa’s house,” Mar’i laughed. Dani blushed, and it made Mar’i want to tease the girl more. She looked cute like that.

“Oh, well, it’s a um, very nice house.”

Mar’i hummed. “It’s nice, but sometimes a bit too big to be comfortable. It helps that we have a big family, but still.” Huh, that wasn’t something she would usually say. God, she hoped Dani didn’t tell the press she said that, they’d label her an ungrateful snobbish socialite or something like that.

But, for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to be too worried. Something about Dani was just. . . it was different. There was something about the girl that Mar’i couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Like, it almost feels wrong to take up space, like you don’t belong,” Dani’s voice was quiet and there was a far-off expression on her face that made Mar’i want to pull her close, until she was completely present with Mar’i.

“Yeah,” Mar’i sighed instead, “but Grandpop does his best. He’s good to us like that.”

The troubled expression on Dani’s face got darker, and this time Mar’i didn’t resist the urge to reach out and hold the girl’s hand.

Her hand was cold, but not unpleasant. Like dipping your hand in a cool river, soft and engulfing. It was nice against her naturally warm skin. She took a moment to admire how their hands weaved together. Dani’s was a soft, cool white compared to her own warm brown skin. It was almost poetic, like those poems about the sun and the moon.

Dani’s eyes snapped to her hand, her focus shifted out of whatever made her look so sad. Mar’i was quite please by that, and even more so when Dani began to blush but didn’t move her hand away. Mar’i felt her inner flame flicker, warmth filling her chest.

They finished their walk to the kitchen in silence, luckily it seem all the staff was out serving leaving them alone.

“We can set them over here,” Mar’i laid the damp glove over the back of a dining chair, breaking her hold on Dani’s hand. The rush of heat back to the palm of her hand was uncomfortable, and perhaps a bit sad. Mar’i didn’t want their time together to end.

“Thank you,” Dani’s blue eyes looked up at Mar’i through dark eyelashes—and oh god, Mar’i was a goner. Yep. She had a big ass gay crush on this girl. “You really didn’t have to go through all the trouble of helping me.”

“Sure I did, I’m the one that spilled my champagne on you to begin with,” Mar’i giggled, “just don’t tell my dad. He doesn’t like it when I have a glass, but it’s hard to get through these things without one.”

“Right?” Dani sighed in relief and finally relaxed. Mar’i hadn’t even been aware of the underlying tension in the girl’s body until it was gone. “It’s so boring. You’d think a bunch of rich people could afford something more entertaining.” They both laughed, and Mar’i felt light in a way she usually didn’t at these events.

“It’s always so stuffy, it’s honestly nerve-wracking. I actually can’t remember the last time I had a real conversation at one of these things.”

The blush was back on Dani’s face, and Mar’i just wanted to kiss her little button nose. God, she was such a lesbian.

“Talking to you,” Dani shifted her weight and rubbed the back of her neck, “has been the most fun I’ve had all night.”

Their eyes met and Mar’i grinned.

“If you want,” Mar’i spoke before her rational thinking could stop her, “I can show you around a little bit. I’m sure no one’s missing us, and the gardens are really pretty this time of year.”

Dani looked at her, her crystal blue eyes wide and cherry lips slightly parted. Mar’i could feel her inner flame flare and she had to consciously think about keeping the flames out of her hair. Dani smiled, and Mar’i almost lost her control.

“I’d love to.”

Mar’i smiled so wide it hurt. She took her hand again and pulled her out the back kitchen door. They walked down the path past the greenhouse to the garden below the ballroom balcony. Alfred always made it look extra special for galas.

The spring breeze was cold, but not unpleasant. Small ground lights lined the cobblestone path and illuminated the rose bushed that had just bloomed. They were a mix of reds and pinks, the scent swirled in the air around them.

“Wow,” Dani said looking around in awe, “this is like something out of a picture book.”

“You haven’t even seen the best part yet,” Mar’i laughed. Dani looked at her with wide eyes, and Mar’i wondered if there was any merit to love-at-first-sight. Or if she was just a hopeless lesbian. Probably both.

They continued down the path until they finally came to the center of the garden. The beautiful stone fountain with a small cupid statue on top rained down water that sparkled in the low light. There were flowerbeds lining the rose bushes, yellows and purples contrasting the pinks of the roses.

Mar’i smiled as Dani giggled and pulled them both to the fountain. They could just hear the music drifting out of the ballroom over the rush of water, and Mar’i thought it sounded prettier like this.

Dani reached out and let the water run over her fingers. The look of wonder on her face was worth any backlash of disappearing halfway through the gala. Besides, it’s not as if it was the first time—and probably wouldn’t be the last.

“You can see the stars much better out here,” Dani’s eyes drifted to the sky, “but still not better than at home. Only a few constellations.”

Mar’i looked up at the sky, and despite being familiar with the stars, she couldn’t say she knew many earth constellations. After all, Tameranian space travel was far more advanced and useful.

“You know the constellations?” Dani’s face lit up.

“I love the constellations. I think there’s something wonderful about the idea of stories written in the stars. Like this cluster over here,” Dani pointed and Mar’i moved closer to see where she was pointing at. Dani smelled like lavender and rain, “that’s the Pleiades. The myth is that they were the seven daughters of Atlas, and Orion ruthlessly chased them. They prayed to be free of him, and so Zeus turned them into doves, and then into stars to keep their father company while he held up the heavens. It’s said that the Orion is still chasing after them in the stars.”

Dani’s eyes lit up when she spoke, her free hand waving in the air to emphasis to her words. The carefree smile on her face made Mar’i want to melt.

“How tragic.”

“That’s not even the worst one,” Dani moved, pulling Mar’i along by their joint hands to point at another constellation, “That’s Cassiopeia, and this one,” She moved then again, but this time she let go of Mar’i’s hand and moved behind her, pointing at some stars over her shoulder, “is Andromeda. They’re mother and daughter actually.” Mar’i found it hard to focus on Dani’s words when one of her hands rested on her waist and minty breath tickled her ear. “You see, Cassiopeia was a queen and she claimed she was more beautiful than the sea nymphs, and the nymphs got so mad that they asked Poseidon to punish her. He sent a sea monster to her kingdom, and the only way to stop it was to chain her daughter Andromeda to a cliff and sacrifice her.”

“That seems a bit dramatic.”

“It’s okay,” Dani laughed, “Perseus saved her. He was walk by after killing Medusa and used Medusa’s head to turn the sea monster into stone. Wild shit.”

Mar’i turned to look at Dani, who was still looking up at the stars.

“You really know a lot about them.” Dani blushed and looked at Mar’i, then looked away.

“I like stories,” she said quietly, “I think because there’s so much to learn from them.”

“I think that’s beautiful,” Mar’i said softly. Mar’i turned around fully, offering a hand to Dani. “Would you like to dance?”

Dani nodded placing her hand in Mar’i’s. Mar’i placed a hand on Dani’s waist, Dani’s other hand on Mar’i’s bicep. Dani’s cool touch was relief from the burning fire in her chest threatening to take her over. As they swayed to the music playing distantly in the background Mar’i had to focus on keeping her feet on the ground.

Dani was looking at their feet, even though they moved perfectly in sync. Mar’i felt time stop as a violin solo played in the background and Dani lifted her eyes to meet Mar’i’s. It was like looking into a swirling galaxy and seeing endless opportunities in front of you. Her eyes, they just held so much hope. More than Mar’i ever thought possible.

It made Mar’i’s heart sing and the solar warmth heat her skin. It made her want to fly above the clouds and just laugh with joy. Looking into Dani’s eyes, Mar’i had never felt so free.

---

Dani had never thought herself the romantic type. Sure, she read all the romance books Jazz kept under her bed, and maybe she liked a good romantic comedy—she was a clone not a heathen—but she never saw herself feeling fluttery because a pretty girl asked her to dance in a garden.

She also never imagined that a pretty girl would want to dance with her in a garden. Vlad made it pretty clear that she was unperfect, unlovable. Jazz and Danny and everyone always told her differently, but sometimes she couldn’t shake that tiny voice in the back of her head telling her she was nothing—that she would never be anything.

But here she was—slow dancing in the most beautiful garden she’d ever seen, with a girl that was way out of her league smiling at her like she was something.

The warmth of Mar’i’s hands took the permanent chill out of her skin, like she was a cat laying in the afternoon sun. It made something in her core purr, it wanted closer, closer, to the source. She wondered how it would feel to curl up in Mar’i’s arms and just be.

Dani looked down at their feet as they moved, too afraid that if she looked up, she wouldn’t be able to stop green from flooding her eyes.

The moment she did, it was like the world stopped spinning.

Looking at Mar’i was like looking at the sun, so bright and beautiful that it hurt. Her green eyes were so bright—too bright to be human almost, but Dani didn’t really mind. Because in this moment, Mar’i eyes refracted like emeralds and her lips shined like strawberries, and the only thing Dani could think about was if they would taste like strawberries.

Dani couldn’t be sure who started to lean in first, or when their lips finally meet, but the moment they did Dani’s heart pulse with her core, a rush of blood and ectoplasm flooding through her. The lips on hers were even warmer than she imagined, and she did taste like strawberries and something sugary. Through the dizziness and captivation, Dani pulled Mar’i closer, a hand on the back of the other girl’s neck, a hand resting on her shoulder.

Mar’i’s hand on her waist pulled her in, her other hand came to rest on Dani’s check, and she thought it might have been the gentlest anyone had ever touched her. Not like she was made of glass, but like you would touch a rose petal, searching and delicate and all at once. Dani decided it was her favorite kind of touch.

She leaned into Mar’i’s hand, pulling her even closer until Dani couldn’t tell where she stopped and the other girl began. The smell of roses and lilacs settled in the air between them, anytime Dani took a labored breath she thought it was magical and hoped it lingered.

When they finally broke apart, Dani could barely breathe. The air felt thinner and her world was disoriented, but Mar’i pressed her forehead to Dani’s and every worry washed away. Mar’i nudged Dani’s lips back to hers with a small movement, and this kiss, it was different.

There was still gentleness, but their grasps were tighter and hearts were beating faster. Mar’i bit Dani’s lip and the sound she let out probably wasn’t human, but Mar’i slipped her tongue inside her mouth anyways. She tasted sweeter like this.

“What the fuck—”

Dani’s eyes snapped open, she pulled back from Mar’i, only noticing a moment too late that they’d been hovering at least three feet in the air. Dani fell to the ground, losing her footing in her heels and falling towards the fountain. Mar’i grabbed her arm, but it wasn’t enough to stop the momentum.

They feel into the fountain, Mar’i’s warm body over hers. Damn—she definitely had water in her ears.

“Jesus, Mary, and fucking Joseph, what the fuck?” Dani peaked out from behind the curtain of Mar’i’s hair—so that’s where the lilac smell was going from, focus damnit—to see a slightly disheveled man running up to them. His tie was crooked and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days—maybe Dani could convince him he had a hallucination.

“Uncle Timmy!” Mar’i’s voice shot up a few octaves and Dani could feel her skin getting hotter. “We were just—i mean, it’s not what it looks like.”

Mar’i fumbled over her, and Dani admitted she was slightly enjoying it, before pulling herself over the edge of the fountain. She reached back in and heaved Dani to her feet, almost causing them to tumble back down. God, she was a mess. And now she smelled like—she didn’t know, stale water and leaves? Whatever it was she didn’t appreciate it.

“I can’t believe—do you know how many reporters are here! You could have outed yourself!” Tim—she thought she remembered Pamela talking about a Tim Wayne—whisper shouted at them. He was turning a concerning shade of red.

“It was just a little kiss—” Dani was going to try the ‘you-hallucinated-the-flying’ route.

“A kiss?! Most people don’t kiss three feet in the fucking air,” he threw his hands up before taking a deep breath. “This is fine. Everything is fine. God, Dick’s going to kill you, and then me.”

But why would ‘Dick’ do that when Mar’i wasn’t the one flying? Wait, could she fly?!

“Please don’t tell dad.” Mar’i walked up to him and gave him the cutest puppy dog face Dani had ever seen. If that girl looked at Dani like that? She’d gladly do anything. “It was just a little mistake, please Uncle Timmy?”

Dani could pinpoint the exact moment he caved in his expression.

“Okay, okay, fine. But you two need to go change, before anyone with a camera sees you. Otherwise, we’re all fucked.”

He ushered them back up the manor like he was expecting a reporter to pop out of the bushes at any time. Soon they were back in the kitchen and being pushed down a hallway that Dani hadn’t even noticed. It was a secluded hallway without much décor, obviously made for quicker and more discreet trips around the manor.

Dani could feel herself growing more anxious with every step. She didn’t know how she was going to explain this, and she couldn’t even think about Sam right now. She was so dead. Again.

Tim pushed them into a room—god, he had more nervous energy than one of those tinfoil hat people, he should really see someone about that.

“Okay, both of you stay here, dry off or whatever. I’ll tell them that you weren’t feeling well or something. Yeah. Something.” He was gone as quickly as he came with a slam of the door.

They both stood there, staring at the closed door for a moment. God, what even was her life? This was ridiculous.

“Um, there’s a bathroom through here,” Mar’i gestured to a different door. “I can grab you some clothes?”

“Yeah, that sounds, uh, good?” Dani said, shifting her weight back and forth.

Mar’i nodded and moved to pull some clothes out of a ridiculously big closet. Dani glanced around, noticing the circus posters and star maps she’d never seen on the walls. There were also pictures hung up on a cork board above a desk, lots of Mar’i with various different people. She noted that Tim showed up in a few.

Mar’i riffed around, throwing a piece of clothes on the lavender bedspread, and Dani realized that they were in her room.

Oh.

She was in Mar’i’s room. A pretty girl. That she’d kissed.

When Mar’i turned around holding out a small pile of clothes Dani was certain she looked like a tomato.

“Let me grab a towel before you get in there, feel free to use anything you need,” Mar’i disappeared and reappeared with two fluffy white towels in her hand. “Here, oh um, I’ll knock when I’m done changing.”

“Thanks,” Dani took the towel and walked into the whitest bathroom she’d ever seen. She closed the door and leaned against it, a little afraid to touch anything because of the sparkly pristineness. That was except for the vanity area around the sink that had a bunch of makeup products sprawled out over the surface.

Still, her dress was starting to itch.

Dani huffed, throwing the stuff Mar’i gave her on the closed toilet seat and began peeling off her wet dress. The body-shaping undergarments underneath were even harder to get off than they were to get on—she was never letting Pamela bully her into this shit again—but soon enough she was standing in the strange bathroom naked.

Somehow this wasn’t how she saw her night going.

Dani toweled down, enjoying the soft fluffy fabric against her skin. Normally she would just phase the water off her, but she already had enough she couldn’t explain. That was just asking for trouble.

After she was dry, she put the towel aside and pulled on the clothes Mar’i gave her. The top was a simple black tank top that fit well enough, but she was swimming in the sweatpants. Dani pulled the strings tight and rolled up the cuffs—three fucking times, god she hated being tiny—but she still looked ridiculous.

Well, at least she looked less like a sad wet kitten now.

Dani felt cool water trickle down her neck and realized she hadn’t dried her hair. She started by taking out the pins holding her curls up, which honestly didn’t look too bad. Whatever these Gothamites put in their hairspray really did the trick. She distantly wondered if it would hold up to ectoplasm too because Jazz would kill for some of that.

After getting the pins out Dani shook her head, shaking the curls from their spot glued to her head. She scrunched them with her towel, trying to preserve them at least a little bit.

Mar’i knocked on the door causing Dani to jump a bit. She was tenser than she thought.

“I’m decent if you want to come out. If you’re ready, that is, no pressure.” It sounded like she wasn’t the only nervous one.

Dani took a deep breath and stepped out. Mar’i was standing in front of a mirror towel drying her hair, only in a sweatshirt and shorts. From this view, Dani could appreciate Mar’i’s long brown legs and solid thighs. They looked like they could crush a watermelon—and that certainly did not have Dani drooling a little, thank you very much.

Mar’i turned around, a frown forming on her face, “If those are too big I can try to find something else, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think—”

“Don’t worry,” Dani found herself grinning at Mar’i’s concern, “they’re nice and comfy.”

Mar’i smiled at her, and Dani felt her heart melt a little.

“I’m glad, I still can’t believe that—well, ya know.” Mar’i slouched, her eyes focused on her feet and it didn’t suit the girl at all. Dani decided that Mar’i should never be unhappy or worried, at least not as long as she could help it. Not when her smile was pure sunlight.

“I’m so sorry about that—” Dani began, only to be cut off by Mar’i’s frantic voice.

“You’re sorry, I’m sorry. You never would have lost balance if I hadn’t. . .” Mar’i gestured to the air with her hands, looking genuinely distraught—which only confused Dani.

“That wasn’t your fault, I’m not very good at. . .” Dani gestured to the ground and hoped she conveyed something meaningful.

“Still, I should have been more careful.” If Dani was confused before, she was lost now. Did Mar’i think she was the one that made them float? It wasn’t like kissing Dani would unlock hidden powers—

Oh.

“Can you—ya know?” Dani gestured to the air again. Mar’i tiled her head, her sad expression replaced with confusion.

“Can you?” Mar’i squinted her eyes at Dani.

They stared at each other, the height difference between them becoming very apparent. It hadn’t been bad when she was in her heels, but Dani will be the first to admit that she got the short gene and Mar’i had very nice, very long legs. The other girl stood almost a whole head taller than Dani.

It was kind of hot. Damnit—dumb gay brain, focus. Flying. Right the flying.

“I mean,” Dani had no idea where she was going with this sentence, “I thought that I did the thing, but if you thought that you did the thing, then we both. . .” Nowhere good that’s where. “Ya know. So that means. . .” Dani trailed off.

She had no idea what she was saying. Why did she start talking again?

“I think I get it,” Mar’i said—which, that made one of them—and moved closer so Dani had to look up at her, “so that means we’re. . . I mean we’re the same, I guess?”

Dani frown her eyebrows and tilted her head. “So you’re a—”

“Alien.”

“—ghost?”

Oh, they fucked up. Dani could tell Mar’i was thinking the same thing by the look on her face. It took seconds for it to morph into a concerned frown.

“Wait,” Mar’i reached out slowly giving Dani more than enough time to pull away and grabbed her hand. She gently turned it over, palm up, like she was examining it. When she looked back up Dani thought her eyes looked mistier than before. “You’re—you’re dead?”

She said it like Dani told her she forgot her inhaler, concerned but not overly worried. It made Dani giggle a bit.

“Half. Half-dead. A halfa.” Dani could see the wheels turning in Mar’i’s head. She reached out and took Mar’i’s other hand. “Don’t think about it too hard, it’ll hurt your head,” She placed Mar’i’s warm hand over her heart, and she couldn’t tell if the warmth was from her blush or Mar’i’s skin, “all that matters is that my heart beats. A little slowly, but it’s still there.”

Mar’i’s face softened at the edges, she released Dani’s hand and brought hers up to the back of Dani’s neck. It felt nice there, warmth spreading through her tease shoulder muscles.

“I’m half alien. Tameranian.” Mar’i’s words brushed over Dani’s cheeks and the taller girl leaned down.

“Guess we’re both halfas, huh,” Dani giggled, and this close she could feel the laughter in Mar’i’s chest.

Dani looked up, and once again saw a soft green glow from Mar’i’s eyes.

“You’re eyes. . .” She trailed off, unsure if she was imagining the glow.

“They glow,” Mar’i laughed again, “we hide them with a holo-projector, secret identities, and all that.”

Dani reached up a hand to cup Mar’i’s cheek, “Mine glow too.”

Mar’i smiled and lifted her hand from the back of Dani’s neck to her ear. She pressed her forefinger against her earing, and Dani heard a soft beep before watching the holograph around Mar’i’s eyes fizzle out.

They were so green. Her eye whites were actually a soft green, her iris was a richer green, and Dani found them endlessly fascinating. They weren’t ectoplasm green, despite their persistent glow, instead, they reminded Dani of fresh grass or pine trees.

Dani blinked, finally letting go of the tight control she had over her eyes. Her eyes lit up and Mar’i gasped, eyes fluttering between both of Dani’s like she was trying to take in every detail she could.

Mar’i moved her to Dani’s waist and lighting pulled her in for another kiss. This one was softer, sweeter, than the others, and much shorter. They broke apart, the green glow of their eyes lighting the space between them.

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Dani said, still a bit out of breath. She wanted this to stay between them. Their own little secret.

“Pinky promise,” Mar’i giggled, lifting her hand from Dani's chest and holding out her pinky finger.

Dani laughed breathlessly, raising her pinky to clasp Mar’i’s. With their clasped pinkies between them, they leaned in for another kiss.