#‘im home’ is pretty dad too but that time it made sense for the role lol

[sunlightfeeling]

世界に一つだけの花 🌻

25ans (ヴァンサンカン): 2017.3

[evietales]

Let's talk about Chrissy and her relationship with her dad. We always talk about things with her mom, but what does she feel about her dad? Who is he to her beyond a father? Does he care? Does SHE care? Tell us about them.

oooooh , this is such a good one ! my headcanon of laura cunningham is that she has a bit of a spending problem , an attempt to keep up the latest trends in sears catalogs. so it puts a lot of pressure to philip to pick up extra hours at his job. i headcanon that philip works a 9-5 office job , but i'm not sure what exactly. probably insurance, yeah i think that sounds right ? philip and laura met in high school , he came from the cunningham family which they weren't exactly super well off but pretty known in hawkins as a generational thing ( i don't know if im making sense ) ? and then you have laura , who was a pastor's daughter and from a decently affluent family. i don't know if it was necessarily ever love from laura's part , with philip being on the football team and her being considered " popular " herself ? for philip , i think he did genuinely love laura , at least at first. but they married pretty young , basically right out of high school and things weren't always as good as they seemed? laura put a lot of pressure on him for the perfect american dream , and it was a lot of pressure for him to live up to. i don't think chrissy was necessarily planned? but she worked for a little while as a " band-aid " to fix their marriage. and i think for a little while , it did help. at least until laura began not only putting pressure on philip , but chrissy as well. growing up, philip was chrissy's world ! she viewed him as an amazing father , who worked all the time to provide the life that she had. because despite her mother , chrissy does recognize her life was privileged. but i think a lot of her view changed as she grew up and began to see philip for what he was. a lot of his " late hours " ? spent more often with his secretary than his family. he was quiet , ignored / overlooked the abuse that laura cunningham inflicted on their daughter. he never spoke up about it , never protected chrissy from her. he was more content with pretending his home life was fine. if he wasn't working " late hours " , philip was often just found in his recliner in the living room , with a drink in hand. it's where he would pass out. it wouldn't be out of the norm for chrissy to have to wake him up in the morning , to remind him to get ready for work if her mother hadn't already with her shrill screaming. there is clearly no love between philip and laura cunningham , though from an outsiders view it might seem that they're the happiest couple in hawkins ! i think he does love his children , in a weird arms length away type of love. but philip is so miserable in his life , he sees his children as part of the issue ? it's never the life he wanted , at least looking back at things. he was forced to settle down , he was forced into this role because of laura and it's made him miserable. if he didn't have to worry about taking care of them or breaking up their home , he could live the life he wanted. so in a way, he might view chrissy as something of a burden , even if he would never admit it ? so , there is love for his children , but there's also disdain for them as well. it should be more pointed at his wife , but it would be so easy to leave her if it wasn't for the children.

chrissy's views on philip are complicated to say the least. she loves her dad , but knows her dad is an active participant in her abuse. even if her abuse comes from her mother , her father does nothing to stop it. he is either never home to do so , or simply is too far in his drink / pretends it doesn't happen. he'll always be her father , so there will always be that connection there. and i think part of her will always search for the dad she remembers as a younger child, the man who hung the moon and stars ? but she knows now that she's older and sees him for who he really is, that man doesn't exist? veering a little off topic , and more so to our portrayals / headcanons : but i think the more she learns about uncle wayne , the more she realizes what a real father should be like ? the way she sees the care he has for eddie , it makes her long for those days of when she was younger and her father would never miss a ballet recital? it's why he starts to mean so much to her as a father figure.

[lollytea]

Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my first language

Ever since that first ask about the future hexquad Ive been thinking about what would Amity like to do in the future, and you know what Ive settled on?

I kinda feel like her passion would be being the best housewife she can be, like, it feels weird to say because girl is so strong and smart she can do anything, but what if what she wants is making sure her family is well fed and looked after?

Girl is so nurturing towards Luz and protective of Willow, she bakes Luz a pie as a welcome back gift, she reads books to kids in her free time, she is in her element when she can actively help someone (words of confort were not enough she got up and got a plan to get flowers for luz's dad in Reaching out) so if she gets a family you bet thats her top priority and joy

Like yes, i can see her working alonside Alador with inventions, and also a pro brawl fighter, and a book shop owner (all of them at the same time even) but if you ask her she goes all Izumi Curtis "im a housewife!"

And as a bonus, it also would be a very F you to Odalia who didnt value her family happiness at all to have her star daughter biggest ambition be precisely to have a happy family

Anyway thats all, cheers

The SECOND I read that this was an Amity ask and I saw the word "housewife" my immediate thought was an Izumi Curtis type. Like YEAH that's exactly it. She's one of the most powerful witches on the Isles but she is far likelier to describe herself as simply Luz's wife. It's a drastic leap from how she used to feel the need to establish herself as a talented witch, and top student, out of insecurity. But now she's matured significantly and made her journey with self esteem and self acceptance so she no longer needs to. Amity defines herself by those she loves and who love her in return.

This makes a lot of sense and I really love this take. Obviously young girls should be encouraged to be ambitious towards their future careers but there's also such a stigma around them choosing to be homemakers and mothers, especially if the girls in question are overachievers who have so many options laid out for them. Like this inherent belief that being a housewife is simply for girls who are unable to be anything else.

It's such a nice idea for a girl like Amity, who's been preened since birth for the most successful and esteemed future. She's always had such high expectations placed on her shoulders to climb the ladder and be the best of the best. So honestly, her choosing a life for herself that has nothing to do with financial success or monetizing the magical expertise that Odalia pressured her into developing is empowering as fuck. She just does what makes her happy.

Because yeah, this poor girl was starved of familial love all her life. It would totally be within her right to devote herself to building a warm, loving and stable home that she can call her own. With her wife and maybe kids too, if she chooses to have them. I feel like I can see her having them. Amity adores kids after all.

All the above examples mentioned of how Amity would be in her element with this role, but also. The beginning of Eclipse Lake where she's bustling around the Owl House with a clipboard, giving orders and making sure everyone is carrying out their tasks. Peak mom behavior. She's so organised and on top of things that I can imagine if she had kids, she'd be the fucking best at juggling their school schedules, clubs, extracurriculars, and distributing their chores equally and like. She'd run a really tight ship. Which would help a lot, since I figure Luz might struggle a bit as an adult with ADHD when it comes to keeping structure in her life and family. But this is where Amity excels! She even enjoys it! So it works out pretty well.

I do think about how Amity was raised in a mansion and probably never had to cook or clean before in her life, with the abomination servants doing everything. (I always wondered if the fairy pie is how they're SUPPOSED to look, what with the Boiling Isles being weird and all, or if its just like that because Amity can't bake.) But it's alright. She's only fourteen. She has plenty of time to learn. Luz, at the very least, has had a normal home life so Amity can definitely pick up homemaker skills from her.

And also absolutely. Really loving this idea of Amity's future revolving around caring for her loved ones but also being free to fully exercise her hobbies and passions without feeling guilty about it. She can draw and write and study abomination magic and help Alador out with his inventions when he's stumped and participate in the Bonesborough Brawl and basically just do whatever sparks joy for her.

I was initially so warped by the real world economy that I was thinking "Can she really support herself by being a homemaker?" But like?? You know what?? Amity and the other kids (who were 12-16 at the time) went to singlehandedly confront Belos while the rest of the Isle was perishing. If there's any justice in this new Boiling Isles they're gonna rebuild, then Amity will be receiving weekly financial compensation to guarantee that she will always live comfortably.

[headheartbellarke]

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.

  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

  “Je vous ai manqué!”

  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

  “But I wanna know what he says!”

  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

  “Okay, then, what is it?”

  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

  “Don’t you ever say that.”

  “But it’s true –”

  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

  “Charlie…”

  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

jatp requests are open <3

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈��)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[santakinard]

ADJSJS BUCKS “ IM FINE IM NOT THE ONE WHO GOT SHOT”

LIKE SIR

SURE IT WASNT YOU WHO GOT SHOT BUT IT WAS UR HUSBAND UR ALLOWED TO NOT BE OKAY

OH GOD NO BUCK DONT THROW YOURSELF INTO DANGER JUST CAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT HOW SCARED YOU ARE

NO WAIT IS THAT THE SNIPER

BUCK HOW CAN YOU JUST SEE THAT AND NOT TELL ANYONE

OH MY GOD NO HE BLAMES HIMSELF FOR WHAT HAPPENED

IM CRYING

ikr??? Buck not being okay AT ALL to the point where he blames himself so much that he thinks it would've been best if it was him instead of Eddie and he wanted to get shot by the sniper. I just alsjsjshehehe Buck bby let me hug you.

WAIT NO TAYLOR WTF

WHYD YOU KISS HIM HIS HUSBANDS IN THE HOSPITAL

SHDJSNS NOW SHES LEAVING

YAY EDDIE'S AWAKE

'his husbands in the hospital' alajsjsh 😂😅 and seriously! Like Taylor I get this is an emotional time and Buck could've gotten shot again but now is not the time to kiss Buck. I'm still not over the timing of Eddie waking up right when Taylor kissed him. Eddie's Jealous Ho senses were tingling and had to wake up immediately and talk to the Buck 😂😂

yo wait i just realized this is the first time i’ve seen ana since he got shot kinda sus how the “love interest” has been absent 👀

Very sus indeed. Like Ana said one line this entire episode. Hell we didn't even see Eddie wake up to her or her reaction to him getting shot (both of which we saw with Ali when Buck's leg got crushed). All we saw was her sitting at Eddie's bedside one time, then when Buck arrives, she literally stepped aside so that Buck and Eddie can fully see each other and reunite (I'm sensing a symbolism here). My sister described her as an ornament and she basically was. Interesting how the love interest is a bg character that doesn't have one-on-one moments with Eddie while Buck's entire arc this ep was pretty much what usually a love interest's role is when something like this happens 👀🤔

OH MY GID NO BOBBY

BOBBY GOT SHOT

I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

Bobby getting hurt too was so hard. But I just LOVED how Buck and Athena worked together (along with everyone else) to save Bobby. Mother and son working together to go save the dad. AND WHEN ATHENA LITERALLY WALKED THROUGH FIRE. Aksjshsjsj these two are SUCH goals I swear.

OH MY GOD MADDIE MY LOVE

IM SO WORRIED ABOUT HER

I know my poor Maddie. But I'm so freaking happy that she asked for help. That scene and this entire sl in general is so incredibly important. This is a giant step in a better direction for her and I'm so yet again so freaking glad that she has Chimney in her life. Hope things get better for them.

OH MY GOD ITS THIS SCENE

OH MY GOD THE WAY THEY TRUST EACH OTHER

“ NO ONE WILL EVER FIGHT FOR MY SON AS HARD AS YOU”

IM SCREAMING

“YOU ACT LIKE YOURE EXPENDABLE BUT YOURE WRONG”

I'M SCREAMING RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. It's officially been a week (crying about it) and I'm STILL screaming about this scene. Will I ever stop? Absolutely not. The way they trust each other indeed. Like good luck Ana and Taylor or anyone else who wants to date them bc Buck and Eddie sure as hell aren't gonna trust anyone more than they trust each other, which includes their SO's. Can't wait for them to realize what's wrong with this picture and actually do something about it. But yeah this scene will forever make me feral I can't even. (It's like the emotional version of The Kitchen Scene™ if tho that one had emotional moments but still).

OH MY GOD AND HEN AND KAREN SEEING NIA AND HER MOM

THE PICNIC

listen I am SOOO freaking happy that we saw Nia again and her being happy but still remembering Hen and Karen and Denny. And then her mom.thanking them. And the picnic asdfghjkllsha. I cried ngl.

THE WELCOME HOME PARTY

Ah the welcome home party. Where we see Eddie reunite with his everyone, but especially Christopher as the camera focuses on the father and son and then pans to Buck smiling brightly at them. Like they're girlfriends are literally RIGHT THERE and yet we focus on the Buckley Diaz family. Ajajsssksjsh. That entire moment warmed my heart.

WAIT OH MY GOD ALBERTS A FIREFIGHTER

"FIREFIGHTER HAN"

AGDJAKMSKSJ

right??? like earlier this episode when Albert picked up Hen's phone my mind immediately went "hmmm I wonder if Albert will be a firefighter next season" but then I completely forgot about that thought and then that ending scene came I aksjsjshssksjs I was so freaking happy I can't even (also Ravi the Probie was there in that scene which made me really happy bc I really love him). Seeing the 118 firefam being there to support Firefighter Albert just alwjakajshshshs *clenches heart*

OH MY GOD AND THE SUPPORT NOTICE FOR PEOPLE WITH POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

THIS SHOW REALLY IS DOING A LOT TO BRING ATTENTION TO LOTS OF SERIOUS THINGS AND THAT IS SO AMAZING

I know right?? ngl I'm in awe with how many important and serious things they bring up that need to be talked about. Especially something like Postpartum which is incredibly important to talk about and show but rarely is. Along with everything else they talk about which is either rarely shown or not at all (like Hen's story with the medical racism and prejudices or the conversation that Athena and Hen had about that missing girl). One of the many, many reasons why Iove this show so damn much.

IM CRYING WHY IS IT OVER

I'M CRYING RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. Tonight was the first night without a new episode and I'm a mess. idk how I'm gonna handle this summer hiatus until s5. I'm probably gonna do a rewatch lol.

Anyways, sorry this is late and I hope it's okay that I put the rest of the asks together. But I'm freaking glad you finished the show and loved it so much too! It truly is *chef's kiss*

[motherjoel]

Leading Lady (Spencer Reid x Reader)

chapter four- talented little thing

wc: 1.8k

summary: you get to know the team a bit more before your first tech rehearsal

a/n: hope you guys like it! im also taking oneshot requests if you guys feel like you’d like to request something :)

chapter index: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3

-

It wasn’t long before your small apartment felt even smaller- the team had showed up within 5 minutes and although you were extremely overwhelmed, you knew that this was the safest you could be. Reid was frantically running around, talking to various people in FBI jackets and you felt like you were standing in the eye of a hurricane. You sat down at your kitchen table and put your head in your hands, trying to calm down when you felt a presence next to you. Looking up, you saw the blonde agent you had met the other day, Agent Jareau was her name. 

“It’s going to be okay, I know the chaos can be a little much but this is how you know we're working our hardest,” she said, resting a comforting hand on your arm. 

“I know, and I'm really grateful. You've all been great, and Spencers… he's… great,” you decided, smiling to yourself. So, hey, maybe you had a little crush on the guy. It wasn’t like you could act on it, with him sleeping on your couch, but you couldn’t help the butterflies when he rambles about facts or blushes when you notice him looking at you.

“Yeah he is,” she smiled. “And he seems to feel the same way about you. I haven’t seen him this worked up about a case in awhile,” she said, her voice sounding a little suspicious.

“Oh,” was all you could muster. Maybe he just feels responsible for you and he doesn’t want to mess up. Before the two of you could continue your conversation, the team made their way over to you with a woman on a video chat screen who you remembered to be the bubbly Garcia. Spencer had his eyes trained on the files in his hand, the rest of the team was focused on you. The woman with black hair, Prentiss, spoke first.

“Y/N, is there anyone in your life that has been acting differently recently, maybe taking more interest in you?” she asked. This was surprising to you.

“You mean… I know this crazy stalker killer?” you asked, shocked. You thought it was just some random dude who has a vendetta against thespians. Morgan spoke next.

“Well, the thing is, none of the other victims had been followed this closely. It’s a change in his MO, leaving these photos on your door. He's taking special interest in you, and we think it's possible he's killing these other women as a way of playing out his fantasies of you,” he says with a concerned look.

“So… this person is killing all of these women because of me?” you questioned, your chest growing tight. You looked to Spencer for comfort but he was still looking down at the file. You know you shouldn’t feel guilty, there wasn’t any way you could have caused this, but you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling. It seemed like Agent Jareau could sense your panic and she grabbed your hand in hers, Morgan put a hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s a strong possibility,” said Hotch. “Which is why it's important that you continue to go about your daily schedule as usual. We don't want the unsub to panic once we're onto him and get more people hurt. Spencer will continue to live with you and go everywhere with you, it's only a matter of time before the unsub messes up and makes himself known,” he finished. This was definitely a lot to take in, and although you appreciated the comfort of Agent Jareau and Agent Morgan, the one person you really wanted to comfort you was in a different world.

“So I can still go to my rehearsal tonight? It’s important that I don’t miss it, it’s the start of tech week” you said, hoping that it wasn’t too soon to be out in public. 

“Tech week?” questioned Morgan.

“Oohhhh, how exciting!” said Garcia and you smiled at her, grateful that you still had the show to keep you sane.

“Tech week is the week before the opening performance of a production where all of the technical aspects of the show are present and used in the rehearsal process,” Spencer said, as if on instinct, without looking up.

“Yeah,” you agreed, “and it's kinda important I’m there…” you trailed off.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot we're protecting a talented little thing! Eponine is a dream role of mine!” Garcia almost shouts.

“Aw, stop you’re making me blush,” you laughed, briefly forgetting the situation you were in. That's when you noticed the stern look from Hotch and you looked back to see Garcia with wide eyes mouthing “I'll text you.” You smiled and gave her a thumbs up, returning your attention to Hotch.

“Yes, you can go. If the unsub knows your schedule, he knows that it would be out of the ordinary for you to miss this rehearsal,” said Hotch, much to your relief.

The agents soon finished up at your apartment, and Agent Jareau (who you now call JJ upon her request) gave you her phone number in case you had questions or wanted to talk, which you thought was very nice and you were glad the two of you hit it off. 

Your apartment was now empty aside from you, still seated at the kitchen table and Spencer sitting on the couch. The agents were only in your home for an hour or two but it felt like an eternity. You hadn’t eaten yet all day so you decided to ask Spencer if he wanted to get lunch with you. You walked over to the couch and sat on the opposite side from him.

“So… wanna get some food?” you asked hoping he would look up from his work, and he did, but his face didn't show the soft smile that you had grown accustomed to.

“You want to go out now? Right after a stalker left a menacing envelope on your door?” he asked, with a skeptical look on his face. His harsh tone took you by surprise and your face visibly fell.

“Well I have a rehearsal later anyway, so we have to go out eventually…” you trailed off, his eyebrow still raised at you. “Fine, I guess we can order a pizza,” you huffed and walked back to the table where your phone was.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and you turned around, surprised.

“For what?” you asked, genuinely curious. He didn’t have anything to be sorry for, it's not like he was stalking you and killing these innocent women.

“I’m sorry that this is happening to you and I’m sorry you're stuck with me as company,” he said, looking away.

“Well I guess that first part makes sense, but you're great company!” you told him. He looked skeptical. “Seriously,” you continued, “I don’t know if any of the other agents would have ‘delved deep into their psyches’ with me, or gotten me to tell them about my dead dad,” you said bluntly.

“Well to be fair, you kind of did that without me asking…” he said with a slight smile. You gasped in fake shock.

“Ohhh, so that's how it's gonna be,” you laughed, the tension in the room dissipated. “Well I'm ordering the pizza now, cheese okay?” He nodded and smiled before focusing on his files once again. You were satisfied with yourself, glad that things seemed normal again.

-

Hours had passed since you ordered the pizza, which the two of you shared on the couch while watching Gilmore Girls (Reid, even being the genius he is, remarked how fast they talked in that show). It was time to leave for your rehearsal, and although Spencer insisted on driving, you could use the fresh air on a walk to clear your mind (or as fresh as the city could offer). You grabbed your purse, your script and water bottle and walked out the door with Spencer in tow, locking the door behind you. He offered to hold your script and you were hesitant but ultimately gave in.

The second your foot hits the sidewalk outside of your apartment you feel off. Maybe you were overreacting, but it was a similar feeling to the one of being watched that you had experienced a few days ago. You picked up your pace and Spencer seemed to notice and he did the same, his hand instinctively resting near his holster. You tried to make small talk in case anybody was listening in.

“So, the rehearsal is probably gonna be pretty long, but it might actually be entertaining. I mean you’ve read Les Mis in a couple languages so the show should be pretty easy to understand,” you jokingly told him. He chuckled beside you.

“And it's okay that I watch? Your director wont mind?” he asked.

“No, I'm sure it's fine if I just tell him once I get there. Fantine’s boyfriend watches rehearsals all the time,” you reassured him, before realizing what you had just said. “I mean not that you’re my, you know...” you said before he leaned down and lowered his voice.

“It's okay- the cover, remember? As far as anyones concerned, I'm your boyfriend,” he told you. This did about as much to reassure you as it did to give you butterflies. You just nodded and did your best to hide your blush. It wasn’t long before you were outside the theater, and you were thankful for that. You trusted that you were safe with Spencer but you couldn’t help being on edge 

The two of you stepped inside the lobby area where your director was finishing up a phone call. He hung up the phone and turned to greet you.

“Y/N, hello! Thank you for being on time,” he said, his voice laced with stress. You wondered who he was mad at for being late.

“No problem John. Oh, is it okay if my boyfriend sits in on the rehearsal? He’s visiting from out of town and he loves theatre,” you said, trying to seem as convincing as possible, although you didn’t hate the lie of Spencer being your boyfriend.

“Fine, he can take a seat in the back. Go get your costume on, mic check in 30,” he said, barely addressing Spencer before darting off and picking up a phone call. 

“So… I guess i'll see you soon. I might be able to sneak around and watch the first part of the show with you, I'm not onstage for a while,” you told him while leading him into the auditorium, seating him in one of the last rows.

“Okay,” he smiled. “Go break a leg,” he said, which sounded a little unnatural coming from him but it was really cute. The two of you laughed and you walked back out into the lobby to get changed in your dressing room, not taking notice of his eyes following your retreating form.

-

taglist: @mcntsee, @diesinspanishbcimhispanic, @chickens-are-life, @rexorangecouny

[asexual-juliet]

Hello, sorry to bother you, but I was reading your older posts and now im so hyperfocusing on Dick Casablancas. He’s potentially the worst person ever, and I think I still really like him??? It doesn’t make sense, but he had so much room for character development!!! He had been through so much trauma and had a objectively pretty bad childhood/parents, and I think he could have been a really decent person if he was allowed to be anything other than the comic relief. Also I love your work.

this is literally the opposite of bothering me. you’ve given me the go ahead to talk about this piece of trash garbage boy as much as i want and for that you have my eternal gratitude!!

honestly, when i say i love dick casablancas, i’m talking about the version of his character that i have created in my head where s3 explored his trauma and he actually worked through his shit and became a better person. but alas.

the big thing to remember with dick is that he was supposed to be a minor character, but the writers liked ryan hansen so much that they started writing him in more until he became a series regular. so by the time they decided they wanted to write him as this funny, likable character, they had already set him up as a guy who treats women like shit and does creepy things with rapey undertones.

and honestly, this is understandable! they didn’t realize how fun dick’s character could be until they had already made him into a shitty person. the problem is that instead of addressing it, they chose to ignore it and hope the viewers would forget.

obviously the biggest problem with dick’s character is him encouraging cassidy to rape veronica as established in 1x21. the writers wrote it thinking that dick would remain an unimportant minor character and that the rape plotline would end with duncan, but they chose later to write dick a bigger role and retcon the rape, giving his actions real, dire consequences, and there was a conscious effort to make the viewers forget about the worst thing the character ever did. it’s a really shitty part of his character, and there’s no divorcing dick from his actions, but the writers could have acknowledged it and had him grow past it, especially after s2 when cassidy’s abuse came to light.

cassidy’s plotline gave them a perfect opportunity to explore dick’s shitty past actions and have him reflect!! sexual abuse thoroughly fucked cassidy up, and s3 could have been a great opportunity for dick to take a step back and see the effect that his gross non-consensual actions could eventually have on the girls he harassed, but the writers ignored it in favor of writing him as the two-dimensional comic relief.

dick had an incredible amount of potential after everything went down with cassidy, and we saw the writers tap into that a little bit with the scene in 3.01 where he shows up at logan’s suite and cries, the scene in 3.18 where he asks logan about what happened on the rooftop, and the scene in 3.18 where he calls his dad out on his bullshit (as well as the more subtle way they had him spend basically all of s3 drunk), but they could have done so much more with it and just didn’t!! dick is genuinely one of, if not the most traumatized characters on the show and we deserved to see that side of him much more than we did.

also like you pointed out, dick is the product of two shitty parents, and i think it would also be super interesting to explore his relationship with his dad a little more! because dick was his dad’s golden boy, but his dad also treated cassidy like shit, and to have dick deal with that and kind of start to realize the negative lasting effects his dad’s toxic masculine ideals continue to have on him would’ve been so interesting. so many of his shittier traits are learned behaviors, and that would have been so interesting to highlight

also. this is irrelevant but how fucked up is it that the only place dick had to go after he was kicked out of his dorm was to the building his brother threw himself off of??? how lonely is he that that is the only place he has to go??? and how hard is it for him to live there for at least a year??? the fact that he came to logan’s suite saying “i have nowhere else to go” ...the thing is he could’ve easily gone home because his dad skipped town and kendall’s dead but like??? he chooses the place his brother died over the place where he lived which is absolutely heartbreaking. like, the neptune grand is where cassidy left mac, tried to kill veronica, where he killed woody, and where he killed himself and dick still chooses to live there. and i’m definitely reading too much into it but part of me is gonna put his decision on the fact that he lived in his house with cassidy and didn’t notice anything when he was being abused/killing people/raping veronica and if he lived there alone guilt would definitely overpower him. but at the grand logan is there and dick’s not alone and yeah, it’s where cassidy died, but dick wasn’t there to witness everything that happened that night, and he really couldn’t specifically have stopped the actions of that night, but he blames himself for not noticing something was off with cassidy and bullying him and being home might remind him of that.

in conclusion: girls don’t want boys girls want a solid narrative arc that focuses on dick casablancas and his unresolved trauma. thank you so much for the valid asf ask.

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

[yubathegnome]

shakespearean au: sge concept

warning - this is long and contains otk spoilers (and macbeth spoilers lol). no i do not offer refunds for time wasted. but if u don’t read this, i will find u because my fatigue is fuelling me w anger :)

11:00 pm: ok so I was casually floating in a bowl of water (segue- what is the point of baths? you can literally do the same things in ur bed but dry...) thinking about how great a shakespearean au would be... yes, I hate Shakespeare’s pretentious ass and if I have to read Romeo and Juliet one more time, I might obliterate my existence. however, imagine the drama of a midsummer nights dream au- immaculate fairy hallucinogenic woods vibes w the magic of fairies that could be linked to sge, just everyone going insane bacchanal in the woods. sadly there are more characters in this play than unnecessary first years in TCY so I decided to try twelfth night instead. 

12:30 am: ok, I have tried every combination of characters possible for twelfth night (just imagine - agatha in the position of duke orsino and tedros in the position of viola, ah the angsty friends to lovers, the jealousy arc potential, misunderstood love ahh) but I always ended up w an agaphie... incident (sweet home alabama)

2:00 am: tried hamlet, taming of the shrew and king lear (plot is way to depressing)... becoming delusional

2:30 am: I WON’T GIVE UP UNTIL SHAKESPEARE IS AT MY KNEES, HERE I PRESENT U ... MACBETH

macbeth au

if u don’t know the plot... uncultured. jk i blame the british education system for my knowledge of this play but here’s a plot summary

let’s pretend scotland is camelot? yeah, just do it.

also: “Fair is foul, and foul is fair, hover through fog and filthy air.” (aka the only quote i can lowkey remember from year 9 for an absolute trash equivocation essay i waffled)

oh and also “what, you egg?” (he stabs him) - do i even have to explain the amazing significance of this quote? pls keep reading, i’m not insane.

character list:

macbeth - rhian

ok confession - i love rhian, 100% didn’t deserve to die so here he can be the tragic protagonist

outshone tedros in QFG (not that hard tbh) and gave us a glimpse of never!tedros’ potential character similarities - corrupted by evil, assuming that there r good intentions in evil people, kinda power hungry, thinks he deserves a position he really doesn’t, tricked by a prophecy

he’s a simp for sophie lets be honest (soz keian shippers) so the choice for lady macbeth should be...

lady macbeth - sophie 

ok, just imagine, no morals/manipulative sophie slowly going insane and having power over powerful men- my fave trope of her wanting to kill rafal/king duncan but unable to pull through last minute because of her daddy issues... yes <3

slowly going insane cus she can’t balance her evilness and her humanity

the hand washing scene... 

“Look like the innocent flower, But be the serpent under it.”

the guards that are killed by lady macbeth and macbeth - nicola and hort 

they were a cute duo when they investigate in QFG and that’s abt it, hence the short roles

the dagger - excalibur

cursed swords check

3 witches - mistral sisters

bruh this is perfect, i don’t have to explain, this is all slotting into place

king duncan - ... yoooo, does it really matter, just the previous king of Camelot. wait maybe that Uther guy. whatever.

banquo - chaddick 

im tired, ur just gonna have to pretend that tedros is king arthur’s grandson and yes, chaddick’s son

i shall allow chaddick to have an actual role where he is a humble, loyal knight who isn’t just conveniently used to fulfil some random prophecy... oh wait poor guy was wronged so bad in TCY- ok ik he dies in macbeth too but like he has a bigger role here than in the 6 sge books. chaddick/ banquo are good plot devices that only exist so the prophecy makes sense, bingo!

macduff - tedros 

c-section king

he just would be that character with the unique and coincidental part of his past that allows him to be king

young and underestimated check

daddy issues and family trauma

kinda doesn’t deserve to be king but uno what, ~prophecies~ 

(just forget abt malcolm’s existence, i have the power now)

the king of england - agatha

agatha as king... we love to see it yes this is my way of incorporating tagatha just pretend macduff falls in love with the king of england ok.  agatha breaks the news that tedros’ dad has just died- cute comforting scene

 scottish macduff realises the english are ok just like tedros realises agatha isn’t a witch... idk someone write a oneshot

3:30 am:

me: let’s fix all my mistakes w some aesthetic mood board ideas.

*types in “macbeth aesthetic” into pinterest* *chooses the first 3 images*

this is very much adequate

4:00 am; do what you will with this information, people of the internet. this doesn’t even make sense at this point. can’t wait for the black coffee overdose my body will endure tomorrow :) also i love how the sleep deprivation slowly makes my tone more aggressive. im a simp for tagatha but rhian being the main character makes me happy. how do y’all make ur theories and stuff all pretty. WAIT NO COVEN! wait no hester oml... ok maybe the 3 witches might have to be the coven, wow, i can’t believe i’ve done this.

ok imagine them all running around in a circle chanting “Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!” - iconic

 ok, they can be the king of england’s attendants.

4:15 am: haha just brushed my teeth... why is this so chaotic. i cant get myself to proof read this because then i have to acknowledge how much time i have acc wasted so pls be traumatised by this chronic brain puke. will i ever write this fic... probably not but miracles happen. good night girls and gays - sweet dreams :) probs will regret this in the morning... oh how i worship the anonymity of tumblr

ps - currently writing a hate essay on hort which i might never release on fear of assasination by 12 year olds... we love to see it

pps - if u made it this far, idk what to tell u, u have perseverance. or maybe u just can’t read. how do i end these things and why am i treating this like a dear diary blog. goodbye. oh yeah, can some sge accounts maybe like... idk... interact w me uwu. i will go insane if i have to play devil’s advocate w myself any longer... GOODNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[gingrrfrog]

these nights (4)

word count: 5.6k :/ kinda long sry

warnings: angst

summary: jeno, yejin, and jaemin were a team. they told each other everything, they trusted each other. jaemin nor jeno would lie, right? right?

a/n: hi idk how many of u like this but since the c*ronavirus has me locked inside my house im just gonna write until this is over :/ hehe enjoy also here’s a masterlist I concocted just for timeline purposes :] 

After an hour of chatting, Jihyun finally decided that she was hungry. They both argued over who should cook, Jihyun’s reasoning being for coming over unannounced while Yejin’s reasoning was that Jihyun was the guest—and she would be a horrible host if she made her cook. The bickering ended instead with her calling her sous chef, Taeyong, secretly while Yejin was in the bathroom. Yejin begged, the last thing she wanted to be was a nuisance during but Jihyun only assured her by informing her that Taeyong lived in this same building, asking a small favor before ordering him to shut the restaurant down due to the snow outside.

“You really didn’t have to do that, Unnie. I really could’ve made us something to eat.”

“And I’m telling you that Taeyong owes me a few favors anyway! Plus, it’s not like he’s far from where you live and he lives right upstairs. I promise you it’s fine.”

Yejin sighed heavily, “you’re unbelievable.”

“Believe it or not, it’s not the first time I’ve heard that.”

Yejin could only laugh as they continued to talk. Yejin opted to sit on the floor criss-crossed as they talked about littler happenings in Jihyun’s pregnancy. Yejin looked at the coffee table while she spoke, noticing a few incriminating photos from the night before, haphazardly shoved under magazines.

Fuck you, Na Jaemin. She hissed to herself. After this, she was never letting Jaemin clean anything. It’s almost as if he planned this. Just then, Jihyun reached over to take the magazine after noticing Yejin’s attention was on the magazine.

“Is there something on the magazine? Oh pictures! Oh—pictures—“

Yejin could do nothing but watch in horror as Jihyun stared at the polaroid in her hands. It was almost like staring at a car crash, she wanted more than anything to look away, but the picture of Jeno’s dick in her hand almost demanded her attention.

“Holy shit, is this Jeno?”

Yejin blanched, her hands catching her hand in pure, unadulterated embarrassment. If she could call Jaemin right now she would scream his ear off, “I am so fucking sorry.”

“No it’s—“ Jihyun tried her best to stifle a laugh as she placed the polaroid back on the coffee table. “It’s…reassuring to know that Jaehyun and I aren’t the only one who do this.”

“But you and Jaehyun oppa don’t keep the photos stupidly hidden under a magazine,” Yejin groaned, her head still hiding in her hands. “I’m going to fucking kill Jaemin.”

“That’s very true. If anyone saw me naked Jaehyun would skin them alive from pure jealousy,” Jihyun failed to hold her giggles back any longer, pulling at Yejin’s arm. “Don’t be embarrassed! I’m not embarrassed! Shocked, maybe, but it’s healthy!”

“You have an amazing body—“ Jihyun mentioned, laughing harder when Yejin screamed out in pain, covering her ears from anymore bullying.

“I need to see your naked pictures now, then,” Yejin said out of nowhere. “There’s no way I can go through this embarrassment on my own.”

“First of all, I have nothing to embarrassed about. Secondly, Jaehyun has them under lock and key, I don’t even get to see them.”

Yejin blinked, “he keeps your photos under lock and key?”

“Ah, well, the disgusting ones are on an old phone, but there’s more to the old phone that made Jaehyun lock it up. It’s not just my asshole on display. However, if you want a conception story for this,” Jihyun pointed to her belly, “there’s an hour long video on that phone.”

“Oh, Jesus, gross,” Yejin meant to say internally, but it came out as a whisper as Jihyun threw a pillow at her.

“Gross?!”

“I don’t really want to think about Jaehyun oppa that way! It’s weird,” she mumbled. “As beautiful as you are together, he’s not my type.”

“What is your type then?” Jihyun asked, taking another pillow under her chin, “dopey eyed and nagging?”

Yejin snorted, “yeah, actually.”

“And you couldn’t find it in one so you gathered two?”

“Jaemin wasn’t planned, it just kind of happened.”

“I’ve heard that one,” Jihyun grinned, running her hand over her stomach, causing Yejin to laugh.

“I’m serious! I thought he hated me at first, Jaemin. He only glared at me for the first two weeks, but he had to get used to me. Jeno was the only person I knew in Korea when I got here, and I followed him almost everywhere. Jaemin had the key code to our apartment then, and I was always there when Jeno wasn’t, and he kind of had to settle for me until Jeno got home from wherever he was.”

“Jaemin has always been like that as a kid, especially if it was towards Jeno.” Jihyun took the time to reminisce of Jeno and Jaemin when they were younger, always offering fleeting touches whenever they were around or always searching for the others hand when they were far. “Jaemin is possessive, just like Jaehyun, but he likes to pretend he isn’t.”

“What about Jeno, then? What was he like as a kid?”

“You’re going to hate this, but Jeno was a normal kid. He played video games after school, he ate played outside with Jaemin or whatever friend he had at the time, and then he went home. There really isn’t a difference from the Jeno you’re seeing now and the Jeno then.”

“Can I ask you something?” Yejin sat up on the couch, next to Jihyun’s head as she peered up at her. “I guess I’m just a little confused, and I know that this all works with families and stuff, but did you really grow up with Jaehyun and his brothers?”

“I did. I mentioned that I was always with my dad during his jobs, and he was Jaehyun’s dad second-in-command at the time. I was always at their house, playing video games with Jaehyun because he couldn’t go outside a lot because he got sick easily. I played with Jaemin when he got older and I babysat Jisung when he was born. Jaehyun and I grew up together but we didn’t realize we had feelings for each other until we were fifteen…”

“Well, I didn’t realize I had feelings for him until I was fifteen. Jaehyun said he always knew, but I think he’s a liar.” Jihyun laughed.

Yejin smiled fondly, “that’s…kind of amazing. It all makes sense now, I guess, but what about Jeno?”

Jihyun hummed slightly to herself, “Jeno’s family…it’s a little difficult, I’m sure you gathered that already. Jeno’s dad died pretty young, and Jeno’s mom left after that but you know all about his sister.”

Yejin blinked. She racked in her brain for a mention of a sister—Jeno had mentioned his parents several times, about how his father died and his mother left, this was knowledge she had gathered from Jaemin. But a sister? Jeno nor Jaemin mentioned a sister.

Jihyun looked up from her hands to see Yejin contemplating and trying to remember. Jihyun bit her lip and sat up quickly, her head spinning.

“Jeno…Jeno hasn’t told you about her?”

“I mean no but maybe he forgot—or maybe we never got to it or maybe…” Yejin admitted defeat as she realized that Jeno never mentioned his sister and perhaps never made any plans to do so. Jihyun offered an awkward grimace.

Jihyun pondered for a moment, wondering how much she could say without offending the walls Jeno very obviously built. Should Jeno decide to tear the walls himself was one thing, however, it was not up to Jihyun to determine when and how. But, considering the hurt behind Yejin’s eyes, she gathered that it was now the time to play damage control.

“Please don’t be mad that he never told you. Jeno…he likes to be happy. He likes to feel loved and surrounded by the ones he loves—so please be understanding as to why he never told you. I don’t think he ever wanted to remember.”

“Jeno’s sister was my best friend in school. Like Jaehyun, we grew up together too and I considered her my older sister too. We were a set—Johnny oppa and Jieun unnie, Jaehyun and I. When I wasn’t at Jaehyun’s house, I was at their house after school while Jeno was always asking if Jaemin was with me. Jaemin was always attached to my hip at the time, so I guess that’s how Jeno and Jaemin got to be as close as they were.”

“Sorry, I just—“ Yejin shook her head as she tried to digest new information. Five years together and Jeno never gave a hint to a sibling. That being said, this opened a new family tree, one that was huge. “Jeno’s sister, Jieun unnie was with Johnny. Johnny’s first wife died before I got here, so that means Johnny—“

“Is Jeno’s brother in law? Yeah.”

“Then, all of Johnny’s kids are his nieces and nephews?”

Jihyun gave a sheepish smile, “…yeah.”

Yejin let her head fall against the couch, her hands on her face once again as she gripped her scalp, “what the fuck. What the fuck, Lee Jeno?!”

“This isn’t going well, is it?” Jihyun asked, her bottom lip in between her teeth as Yejin reappeared from her hands.

“What happened? Why isn’t she around what the fuck! Why didn’t Jeno tell me anything?!”

“It’s not his fault!” Jihyun quickly tried to explain. “A lot... a lot happened before you got here, Yejin. Jaehyun’s dad died earlier than we thought, alliances that we had were broken at Jaehyun’s sudden inheritance, it was a war we weren’t even slightly ready for.”

“What happened to Jeno’s sister?” Yejin asked again, noticing that Jihyun was trying to divert the conversation. Once the latter realized she had failed, she scooted closer to Yejin, taking her hands in her own and she stared at her with urgency.

“There’s only so much I can tell you, Yejin. Please understand, I was never supposed to tell you about Jieun unnie, that’s above my role. All I can tell you is that once we found out Johnny was a target, he took great care in making sure that she was safe. She took the wrong car that morning, and what was meant for Johnny landed on Jieun unnie.”

Guilt fueled in Yejin’s stomach as she realized she had pressed too hard, watching as Jihyun’s eyes watered at the memory she just barely managed to heal—only for Yejin to come and pick at the wound.

“Jeno lost everything after that. He wasn’t the same, nobody was. He left the day after the funeral and we didn’t know where he was, we looked all over Asia but we never thought he’d be in the states,” Jihyun explained quietly. “Before we could tell him to come back, he came back on his own...with you.”

“That...could be some explanation as to why Jaemin glared at you when you first came up. He was trying to protect Jeno from anything that could hurt him.”

“Jaemin thought i was going to hurt him?”

“...we all did,” Jihyun admitted. “I gave you the benefit of the doubt and thankfully it worked out for this long, but it took me a long time to get me to convince Jaehyun and Johnny oppa that you weren’t going to hurt Jeno. Meanwhile, you took care of Jaemin on your own.”

Yejin huffed, eyes pooling almost instantly as she crashed into Jihyun’s arms, “thank you for trusting me. I love Jeno, more than anything— I would never hurt him.”

She could feel Jihyun’s smile as she wrapped her arms around her body, patting her back, “I know. You don’t have to thank me, if anything, I should be thanking you. I was scared that Jeno would be broken the rest of his life, but you came and it looked like he got better...even now though, I can see that it still hurts him.”

“Regardless, I’m grateful that you were there, and although you had to find out in the most fucked up way, you never asking questions led Jeno to love and appreciate you more.”

“Does that mean that I should never bring this up?”

Jihyun sighed, “that’s a tricky question. I’m not in the position to say because it’s not my relationship and I know you’ll be opening a traumatic can of worms if you do.”

“Should I run it past Jaemin?”

“That might be your safest bet, but you’re not entirely safe from his defensiveness either, fair warning.”

Yejin sighed, still wrapped in Jihyun’s arms as she felt another member begin to squirm against her arm.

“Oh—someone’s awake.”

“She has really good timing.” Yejin mentioned quietly, lifting herself up from her Jihyun’s hold.

“She’s good at that,” Jihyun smiled gently.

Yejin took the time to lay down, watching Jihyun’s stomach stretch and pull as her baby practiced what seemed like yoga inside her. Yejin has never had information overload, but if she did, she imagined this is what it was like. Jihyun took her turn to sit on the floor then, resting her arms on the couch with her head resting against them as she carefully studied Yejin’s face.

“Talk to me, Angel.”

“I’m...just trying to process, I guess.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve never said anything, this is my fault—“

“No, it’s not. I’m not blaming anyone but I’m definitely...upset that no one told me anything until now.” Yejin played with the frayed ends of the pillow she was laying on, staring blankly at the floor. “Jeno is the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with, Jaemin too, so how long were they planning on keeping this from me?”

“We all have our demons, Yejin.”

“But we also have people that help us fight them. I just don’t.. I don’t understand.”

“Is there anything you’ve never told Jeno?”

“I mean, I try to be as transparent as I can with him, because I expect the same thing but—“

“—you said try?”

Yejin chewed at her cheek, “maybe I’ve kept things from Jeno and Jaem too, but it still doesn’t reach missing sibling and family information level.”

“Like?”

“Like...I don’t know! Nothing important! Little things!”

“That’s subjective.”

Yejin huffed in disbelief, “I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work on me, Jihyun unnie.”

“I’m not telling you to not be mad at Jeno. I’m just telling you, try to see why he hid it in the first place.”

Yejin grimaced, sitting back up and noticing that her stomach was fully growling at this point. It took a few more seconds for the door bell to ring, Jihyun turning her neck and chuckling to herself quietly.

“Looks like Taeyong oppa also has good timing.”

Yejin helped Jihyun get up from the floor to open the door. Yejin would only be around to thank Taeyong for coming all this way, to which she already had the entire conversation scripted in her head. Taeyong would say it was no problem and that he would do anything for Jihyun, while Jihyun would kiss him goodbye before Doyoung killed her for keeping him from his boyfriend.

The conversation went almost identically in real life, with the exception that Taeyong playfully whined from being discharged from work before greeting Yejin and kissing Jihyun goodbye.

“Let’s eat, hm? everything is better after a good meal.” Jihyun tried her best to comfort while Yejin gave her dull smiles and nods of affirmation.

Maybe this is the feeling of uncertainty and fear she was feeling the morning?

Jaemin 

Sometimes Jaemin wished he didn’t have the job he did. It was nothing against his brother, everything he started and created, and he definitely didn’t feel this disdain because of the danger that came with it. If anything, he wished he were a little further along, near Jeno’s league, doing things like staking out and shooting things…and…well…just doing the cool things that wise guys did.

But Jaemin? Jaemin is nothing but a dirty accountant and that bored him. He doesn’t understand completely why he’s here, sitting in the room along with his brother and Johnny, listening to them vent and scream to the other people on the phone about why a certain action is reckless and why Kun isn’t allowed to do x,y,z.

This is so fucking boring, and Jaemin is barely allowed to go out to take a piss.

During these times, Jaemin would usually entertain himself with Jihyun if she was home, taking time to bond with his soon-to-be sister and take advantage of her cooking, but Jihyun was over with Yejin doing God knows what and probably having ten times more fun than him.  Jaemin holds back a groan before Jaehyun gives him a look.

“Jaemin?”

“Yes hyung?”

“Have you gotten a call from anyone yet?”

“Nope, it’s almost like you forgot to pay the phone bill or something.”

Jaehyun smirked before going back to his call, “no—no Kun hyung, I’m not yelling at you, I just want an explanation…”

Jaemin cleared his throat as he heard the phone ring, noticing that Mark’s number was on. He answered it quickly, eager to talk to anyone that wasn’t himself.

“Hello?”

“Oh! Hey, Jaemin, I thought I called Jaehyun hyung’s line sorry—“

“Please don’t hang up,” Jaemin cried quietly. “If I have to listen to myself think one more time I’m going to kill myself.”

Mark laughed on the other line, bright and annoying as it always was, “well Jaem! I don’t really have anything to tell you really, but I can think of someone who does.”

Jaemin perked up on the other side of the phone as there was silence, a few shuffles, and then a familiar voice on the line, “Hello?”

“Hey stud,” Jaemin grinned.

Jeno scoffed on the other line and he could almost imagine the roll of his eyes, “behave—Mark hyung is right here.”

“It’s not like he can hear me, you’re the one making a big deal,” Jaemin defended. “How are you? Everything okay?”

Jeno hummed, “yeah. It’s pretty boring right now. The suspected building is an orphanage—we really aren’t seeing anything but a whole bunch of kids.”

Jaemin narrowed his eyes, “you think they’re doing work in an orphanage?”

“I’m not sure, I guess that’s what we’re here to find out. But what better way to recruit than build a false sense of family with illicit business.”

“You’re the one to talk.”

Jeno chuckled, “I know. Anyway, the phone service here is suspicious and goes in and out every two hours. It might be really hard for me to call Yejinie later…do you think you could tell her?”

“Of course. She might cry.”

Jeno whined, “why would you tell me that? I’m going to feel awful all day.”

“I’m kidding. Odds are she’s going to be pretty disappointed but I honestly doubt that she’ll cry about it—not over the phone at least.”

“Just tell her I love her and that I’m sorry. I’ll call her as soon as I can.”

“I’ll pass it along.”

“Thank you. And Jaem?”

“Hm?”

“I love you too.”

Jaemin’s ears burned before he could laugh and react, “I love you. Don’t forget to call.”

“I won’t. I’m nearing the end of the hour, service is about to shut off again.”

“Okay, okay—I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

Jaemin hung up the phone at the same time Jaehyun and Johnny had, both with grave looks on their faces. Jaehyun was the first to exhale and rub his face harshly before pulling it back, staring at the phone in front of him.

“I can’t wait til this blows over,” Jaehyun groaned.

“It’s only two more days, we should be good,” Johnny cleared his throat. He looked over at Jaemin and cocked his head, “did Jeno tell you anything?”

“How did you know I was talking to Jeno?”

“Do you usually tell anyone else you love them?”

Jaemin snorted and recounted the quick information he was told from his boyfriend, not long before Jaehyun nodded.

“It’s the same thing Mark just told me,” Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair before glancing over at Johnny. “Hyung, what if we got this all wrong?”

Johnny shook his head, “it’s only 6:30. We don’t have the slightest idea as to what they do at night, and if we got it all wrong then we keep looking. That’s all.”

Jaehyun stood up from his chair and stretched his neck, “I’m going to take a break. Take one if you all need one.”

Without another word, Jaehyun exited the room as Jaemin watched Johnny sink in his chair further.

“Hyung,” he started, carefully. “Do you think we have it all wrong?”

Johnny used his knuckles to rub the underside of his chin, scratching at the prickly hairs that were forming as he stared at the wall mindlessly, “I don’t have a clue, Jaemin.”

Jaemin’s jaw tensed before staring at Johnny for a few moments, not long before he decided to take a break and call Yejin now that he had the change.

The call went as he expected, she was delighted to hear from him and disappointed to find out she wouldn’t be hearing from Jeno tonight. He had asked how it was going between the two of them, both Jihyun and the baby and Yejin recounted that it was going great, and that it felt nice to have someone around the two days that neither he or Jeno would be around. They chatted very little, as Jaehyun reentered the meeting room before Jaemin did, prompting him to end the call a little earlier than he would’ve liked.

So then, the cycle continued. Jaemin continued to stare at his phone in silence as Johnny and Jaehyun returned to arguing with whomever was on the phone at that time. Jaemin couldn’t begin to think how people in office jobs could do this—quite honestly, it made him sick to his stomach. Regardless, noon came around quicker than he thought it would, and they had delivered Chinese food considering his brother was being stingy with the food in the fridge. Hour passed quicker after lunch as they were allowed another break, but Jaemin took advantage of this to take a nap, falling asleep on the meeting room couch before being woken up two hours later, graciously as Jaehyun had let him sleep in.

Jaemin peeked at his brother through his eyelashes, watching as he discussed quietly with Johnny over the plan time and time again, feeling sick to his stomach as he felt a wave of deja vu hit him like a truck. Jaemin, when he was younger and before Jisung was born, was often attached to his father and always sat around in his office despite his father lecturing him on secrecy. Granted, at the time, Jaemin didn’t know anything that his father did, nor did he care, he just remembered sitting on the couch playing on whatever handheld device he had while he argued with his right hand man, who was then Jihyun’s father.

Jaehyun now looked almost identical to their father in his earlier years. The same frown, the same hand on his chin whenever he was thinking…even the way he stood over the phone to speak into it was the same, as well as the same curses and swears their father used to say. Jaemin closed his eyes all the way and pretended, just for a moment, that he was the same 8 year old boy taking a nap on the dusty worn out couch, hiding from his eccentric mother only for a second’s worth of silence. It didn’t work, however, as he heard his landline ring, and he was rushed out of his daydream.

He noticed it was later now, closer to dinner time as he reached to answer the phone. The number was Mark’s again, and he answered swiftly only to hear him cut off just when Mark answered hello.

“That phone cut off is a bitch,” Jaemin groaned, still somewhat bleary eyes and cranky. “How are we supposed to call them if someone over there is cutting off the phone lines every two to three hours?!”

“That’s what we were talking about just now,” Jaehyun sighed. “I feel like we have the right place, they aren’t cutting phone lines for no reason, much less a good one, so the orphanage has to be a front.”

“Unless they’re trying to save money?” Johnny pressed.

Jaehyun shook his head, “an orphanage? Cutting off service? Hyung, the orphanage should be the first place that has phone service, delivery calls, emergency calls, calls from adoptions agencies. There’s no reason why those phones shouldn’t and wouldn’t be ringing off the wall.”

“That’s what you would think.”

Jaehyun blew a short breath out of his nose before rubbing his chin, “yeah. That is what I would think.”

Soon after, dinner time came along but neither party was hungry enough to eat—just from the sheer anxiety from Mark’s incomplete call. More so because it’s been two hours, and he has yet to call again. A clean-up operation rarely goes wrong, especially if Mark and Jeno are behind it, but Jaemin still can’t help to feel a sense of unnerving fear to him, one that threatens the lunch in his stomach.

Ten pm and Johnny had left to his room, Jaehyun and Jaemin being the only two in the rooms, both waiting for someone to say something. After a few minutes, Jaehyun turned to Jaemin and gave him an awkward smile.

“You can go to bed, Jaem. I’ll probably be up late anyway.”

“I think I’ll stay here for a little bit, if that’s okay,” Jaemin returned the smile before Yejin came to mind. “But, I’ll take a break real quick. If that’s okay.”

Jaehyun nodded, “of course.”

Jaemin got up from his seat, freezing once he heard Jaehyun clear his throat, “hey, Jaemin? You don’t have to but—“

“Yeah, I’ll ask about Jihyun noona.” Jaemin smiled widely, relief washing over Jaehyun as he gave him a genuine smile this time.

“Thank you.”

Jaemin left the room for a bit of privacy, opting for the smaller meeting room and taking a seat in one of the armchairs. After a single dial tone, Yejin answered almost immediately.

“Jaem?”

“Hi Angel,” Jaemin smiled, fatigue flowing out of his fingertips as his heart beats happily. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Jihyun unnie went to bed kind of early, about an hour ago.”

“Jaehyun hyung asked me to check on her, is she okay?”

“You won’t believe it but she’s given birth and the baby has taken it’s first steps.”

Jaemin laughed, “you’re lucky I’m not my brother, I wouldn’t have found it remotely funny.”

“I wouldn’t dream of saying any of this to your brother in the first place,” Yejin laughed. “How are you, baby? Is everything okay?”

“Everything is okay here. I slept for a while so time went a lot faster,” Jaemin reassured, “it really is the most boring fucking job in the world. It’s like a call center but for illegal things.”

Yejin giggled, “when we’re old we can go to a farm. You, me, and Jeno raising chickens.”

“That’s all I want, let’s buy a farm house right now.”

“God no, if I’m around a farm I’ll kill myself.”

Jaemin grinned and played with the hem of his shirt, taking the time to listen to Yejin’s soft sighs before she continued, “have you heard from Jeno?”

“I haven’t. I’m sorry, baby. When he called the line went flat and I wasn’t able to talk to him.”

“oh. okay.”

“I’m sure I’ll talk to him tomorrow morning. He’s leaving the site tonight for another one, hopefully this one has better reception and I won’t have to play messenger.”  

“Hopefully. It feels weird not having either of you here, it’s too quiet—more so now that Jihyun unnie went to sleep.”

“I told you you’d miss us when we’re not around.”

“How was I supposed to know I’d miss your annoying whining?”

“You’re supposed to miss me, every single waking moment of your life.”

“You’re psychotic,”

“Psychotically in love…with you,” Jaemin cooed, laughing wholeheartedly when he heard her gag over the phone.

“Just now I was beginning to think I believed Jihyun unnie when she said Jaehyun oppa gave you a run for your money in affection. But you really are disgusting,“

“Babe he really does give me a run for my money,” Jaemin grinned. “It’s actually disgusting.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,”

“Yeah right, over his dead body. Major tsundere—maybe even abusive.”

“Now you’re just being an asshole—“

Jaemin jumped at the sound of the door swinging open, his brother shoving his coat on as he gave Jaemin a frantic look. “We have to go. Now.”

“What—?”

“Now, Jaemin!”

Jaemin scurried on his feet, “Yejin? Baby? I’ve got to go, okay? I’ll call you in a little.”

“Jaemin? Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

“I uh,” he cleared his throat and ran to grab his jacket before shoving it on with his phone pressed between his cheek and shoulder. “I don’t know yet, angel. I’m sorry. I’ll call you.”

“O-okay. Be safe, I love you.”

“I love you, sweetheart. So much.” Jaemin blew a kiss into the receiver before hanging up, shoving the device in his pocket as he caught the gun Jaehyun tossed him midair. Johnny had already started the car outside as he was being led inside.

“Hyung, what the fuck is going on?” He asked after settling in his seat.

“Mark called. He told me Jeno was bringing the car around when they flipped the car over.”

Jaemin felt his heart fall to his feet and the bile rise in his throat, “what? What do you mean? Who’s they? Is Jeno okay? Is he still there?”

“We don’t know. I don’t know anything.” Jaehyun admitted quietly.

Jaemin clenched his jaw, “what do you mean you don’t fucking know anything?”

“He’s at the hospital, unresponsive.” Johnny added sourly. “Your brother didn’t want to tell you that bit.”

Jaemin’s breath is shallow as he glared at Johnny through the rearview mirror, somehow also begging him to tell him that this was some kind of sick fucking joke. Jaemin tried to regulate his breathing until he got to the hospital, Johnny dropping both Jaehyun and Jaemin at the doors.

Jaemin pushed through people, causing his older brother to apologize for his behavior despite Jaehyun calling out for him to wait for him. He reached the reception desk and demanded for Lee Jeno’s room, only to make the nurse behind the desk stare at him in confusion.

“Are you fucking deaf? Lee. Je. No. Do I have to spell it out—?”

“Jaemin, take a seat,” Jaehyun suddenly said behind him, taking his arm and gently nudging him to the side before Jaemin snatched his arm out of his hold.

“No.This is all your fault, this would’ve never happened if-“

“Excuse me,” said Jaehyun suddenly, giving the receptionist a smile before bowing. He took Jaemin’s arm again, this time much harder as he pulled him in an empty hallway.

“Is that how you speak to someone who is trying to help you?” Jaehyun seethed quietly, glaring at his youngest brother as his grip tightened around his arm.

Jaemin’s jaw was set as he glared at his brother in return, tears filling his eyes as he refused to reply.

“Speak.” He growled, “you had no problem speaking up when you were in front of the nurse and you will do the same now if you had something worthwhile to say.”

Jaemin remained silent as Jaehyun let go of his arm, “that’s what I fucking thought. I give you a lot of slack because you’re my brother Jaemin, but don’t disrespect me again. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, hyung.” Jaemin spat, his eyes now on the floor as he watched a tear fall onto his shoe.

“You will stay here, I will go speak to the receptionist. If you make another scene, so help me God, Jaemin I will fuck you up myself. Do I make myself clear?”

Jaemin nodded, falling against the wall as he slowly slid down while bystanders walk past him.

He felt as if he had been staring at the wall for hours until he heard a familiar voice next to him. He looked up to see Mark with a grim look on his face. Jaemin stood up and Mark didn’t waste any time in taking his hands and bowing deeply. He was saying something but even then he could pinpoint what the words were.

“…so sorry, Jaem. It should’ve been me, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be like that, hyung,” Jaemin felt like he was speaking underwater, too calm and too distant. “I’d feel just as awful if it were you.”

“He’s okay, though.” Mark continued. Jaemin must’ve not been speaking this entire time. “He’s concussed, real bad. A lot of broken bones, but he’ll be out of surgery soon. He’s alive, Jaem.”

“Where is he?” Jaemin barely got out, surprising Mark.

“In surgery still, it’ll be a few more hours, but we can go to the waiting room,” Mark wrapped an am around Jaemin’s shoulder. “Do you want to call Yejin?”

Jaemin shook his head, looking at the time on his wrist before looking back at Mark, “no. She should get some rest, I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

“Are you sure? She’s probably worried right now.”

“She won’t sleep if I tell her tonight, it’s best if we wait until morning.”

Mark grimaced before nodding, leading Jaemin into the waiting room where Jaehyun and Johnny sat on the opposite side. Jaemin made sure he didn’t sit down until he glared at his brother once more, listening to Mark give him his entire story. 

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[kendrixtermina]

Further reactions to "The book of lost tales":

I appreciate that Idril canonically wears armor and does swordfighting.

I feel like I can actually imagine adult!Idril much better now like in armor and with open hair, distraught but ready to fight while babby Earendil does not yet realize the danger...

My first thought is that Earendil was probably cute in that baby chainmail. My second thought is OUCH, Idril and Tuor always made sure their growing baby had fitting chainmail cause they felt the apocalypse might get them at any moment. Imagine that, imagine them having the baby armor fitted every year or so :(

Its fun how much of the basic structure already exists but most of what you'd consider the main characters doesn't exist or is scattered across various minor roles The only Prince anywhere in sight is Turgon - Except for Team Doriath, theyre all accounted for. I suppose Maeglin is kinda there in name only with vaguely the same role & motivation, but looks personality and background all did a 180 since. Luthien is still pretty much "princesd classic" at this point, not quite the fearless go-getter from the final version - markedly this version tells Beren that she doesnt want to wander in the wilderness with him whereas the final one says she doesnt care and its Beren still wants to get the shiny so as not to ask this of her and also for his honor.

I mean in the finished version Id consider the 3rd and 4th gen royals to be the main characters (well, alobgside Team Doriath and the varioud human heroes) and theyre hardly here. Imagine the silm with no Finrod!

Feanor had no affiliation with the royal family whatsoever, and is also generally less super. He's just the guy who won the jewelsmithing competition, not the inventor of the whole discipline. Still seems to have been envisionad as a respected member of the community who gets called to the palace for crisis meetings and is listened to when he stsrts giving speeches. From the first he already has the backstory of going off the deep end (or at least growing disillusioned with Valinor) after a family member is killed by Melkor and theyre still the first to die, but its just some other rando unrelated to the royals

The situation regarding the humans is different - instead of Melkor leaking their existence, its Manwe who explains that the other continents were supposed to be for them eventually. So Feanor goes off on a tirade about weak puny mortals comes off as a more of a jerk unlike in the final version where Melkor barely knew about the humans and described them to the Noldor as a threat. On the other hand in this one, also very much unlike in the finished product, Melkor dupes even Manwe into being unfair to the elves as a whole. In this the final version is a definite improvement, both Feanor and the Valar come off as a lot more sympathetic and though still deceived he's partially right in some things at least, so you have more of a genuine tragedy rather than a simple feud

There is something to the idea of Commoner!Feanor tho. I guess some of this survived in his nomadic explorer lifestyle and how both his wife and mother (who arent mentioned here) eventually were the ones to get that background of being not especially pretty ladies who are not from the nobility but got renown, respect and acclaim for their unique talent and contribution to society, with each having invented things and Nerdanel also being renowed for her wisdom. Hes sort of an odysseus-like Figure in that sense. I suppose later developements necesitated that Maedhros & co. have an army not just a band of thieves, which means they needed to be nobles/lords. That said this being a society where artisans are very respected and half the lords have scholarly/artistic pursuits going, the gap was probably not as big to begin with as it might have been in say, medieval England. Esoecially since Nerdanel's father had been given special honor by one of the local deities and that the social order might have been a very recent thing in Miriel's time. One might speculate that the first generation of Lords started out as warriors during the great journey, or perhaps just Finwe's friend group.

Also found that bit intetesting where the Valar have to deal with the remaining political tensions and effects of Melkor's lies on the remaining population in Valinor... - i guess with the change of framing device it was less likely for news of something like this to reach Beleriand. That, or the existence of Finarfin and his repentance made this go smoother this over in later cannon

Turgon's go-down-with-the-ship moment reaaly got to me. Im half tempted to write a fic where his wife, siblings and dad glomp him on arrival in Mandos. I dont care that none of them exists yet in this continuity i want Turgon to get hugs

I love all the additional Detail that got compressed out in the shift from fairytale-ish to pseudohistoric style especially all the various Valinor magic insofofar as it is compatible with the final version - particularly love the idea of the connection between the lamps and the trees that is now integrated into my headcanon forever

Its actually explained what the doors of night are

If I had not already read unfinished tales or volumes X to XII where this is also apparent, this is where I would say: Ah so the Valar were supposed to be flawed characters. Manwe has an actual arc; by the time he sends Gandalf he finally "got" it. I think in the published silm the little arcs of Ulmo and Manwe are mostly just lost in compression/ less apparent when only some of the relevant scenes got in but not all

It occurred to me way too late that the "BG" chars are the most consistent because theyre at the start and most stories are written from beginning to end. Finwe doesnt get a dedicated paragraph of explicit description until HoME X but my takeaway was that he's described pretty much like I always imagined him anyways/ same vibe I always got from him... charismatic, thoughtful, enthusiastic, sanguine temperament, brave in a pinch but at times lets his judgement be clouded by personal sentiment (though that last bit is more apparent/salient as a character flaw once he became the father of a certain Problem Child) ...i guess this would be a result of jrrt having had a consistent idea of him in his head for a long time.

This means Finwe's still alive at the time of the exodus which is just fun to see/interesting to know... Interestingly he sort of gets what later would be Finarfin's part of ineffectually telling everxone to please chill and think it over first while Feanor simply shouts louder (which is consistent with his actions before the sword incident in later canon where he initially spoke out against the suspiciozs regarding the Valar) - but its not exactly the same, he's more active than Finarfin later in that when "chillax" availed nothing he said that then at least they should talk with the other Kings and Manwe to leave with their blessing and get help leaving (This seems like it would have been the clusterfuck preventing million dollar suggestion in the universe where Feanor is related to him and values him) but when even that falls on death ears he decides that he "would not be parted from his people" and went to run the preparations. I find it interesting that the motivation is sentiment/attachment (even phrased as "he would not be parted from [his people]" same words/ expression as is later used for the formenos situation), not explicitly obligation as it later is for Fingolfin (who had promised to follow Feanor and didnt want to leave his subjects at the mercy of Feanor's recklessness )

Speaking of problem children. It seems the sons of Feanor were the Kaworu Nagisa of the Silmarillion in that originally all they do is show up at some point and kill Dior as an episodic villain-of-the-week. And then, it seems their role got bigger in each continuity/rewrite... probably has something to do with the Silmarils ending up in the title later making it in the sense their story that ends and begins with them. They have zero characterization beyond "fierce and wild" at this point, though in what teetsy bits there is we already have the idea that Maedhros is the leader and Curufin is the smart one/shemer/sweet-talker, though not the bit where Maedhros (or Maglor, or anyone really) is "the nice one". Which I guess explains why "Maglor" sounds like such a stereotypical villain name.

"The Ruin of Doriath" was purportedly the patchworkiest bit of the finished product, but I never noticed and it actually left quite an impression of me upon first reading, the visual of Melian sitting there with Thingol's corpse in her arms contemplating everything thinking back to how they met... she had the knowledge to warn him not to doom himself but couldnt get him to understand it because he doesnt see the world as she does.... After reading this though I wish there was a 'dynamic' rendition that combined all the best bits like, youd have to adapt it to the later canon's rendition of the dwarves, have Nargothrond exist etc. But i mean that just makes Finrod another dead/doomed relative of Thingol's whom bling cannot truly replace, like Luthien and Turin. In the Silmarillion you could easily read it as just an "honoured guest treatment" but here and in unfinished tales I get the impression that Thingol actually did see Turin as a son.

Already you see the idea of trying to make the stories all interconnected but there is less than there will be (the human heroes aren't related yet and there is basically no Nargothrond, which is later a common thread for many of the stories - a prototype shows up in the 'Tale of Turambar' tho complete with half baked prototypes of Orodreth and Finduillas

O boi im not even through yet

[yoddream]

The Price to Pay | n.jm

pairing: jaemin x fem!reader

summary: when you’re given your dream job, what will happen to you and Jaemin?

warnings: ANGST, bad writing lmao, depression (not specifically mentioned but it’s obviously there), a shit ton of crying, jaemin being kind of an asshole ngl, mentions of hockey (only because there might be some things that don’t make sense idk maybe they do to somebody who doesn’t watch it), VERY INACCURATE INFO ON BECOMING A TRANSLATOR

notes: here’s part 2 to New Beginnings! idk how to link it lmao im sorry im really bad at this also im iffy on how this came out but at this point whatever i wrote a lot. I’m gonna try to do the bold for korean again (cuz new beginnings on the app is fucking jacked af but on the full website it looks how it’s supposed to) but like just assume that everything the OCs are saying are in Korean and whatever the Dreamies say that aren’t to English speaking people are in Korean

“Please put on your seatbelts as we will begin our descent to Los Angeles, California.”

You did as the flight attendant asked and looked out the window. The ground slowly got closer and closer, and your heart raced with excitement. Despite how you’d felt a year ago, you couldn’t wait to land and start the next chapter in your life. You could still feel the exhaustion from it being in the middle of the night in Seoul, but that was so little compared to all the emotions running through your body.

Once you were out of security, you pulled up FaceTime on your phone and called Jisung. It rang and rang, and you almost gave up when he finally answered the call. He was out of breath, as if he’d just run to get his phone. His face lit up when he saw yours.

“Y/N! You landed safely!” he said. Your parents appeared in the frame, which made you smile.

“I did! I’m heading towards pick-up now, so hopefully I’ll be on my way to the rink,” you told them.

You’d decided you wanted to be an English-Korean translator, so you had been hired as a translator for a new NHL prospect. He was born and raised in Korea, and he knew very little English, so you were going to help him during prospect camp, translating and teaching him English. You expected to be in America until September, but if he made it past both prospect and training camp, who knew what your future held?

“Oh honey, I’m so proud of you,” your mom said.

“We both are. You’re gonna do great, we know it,” your dad added.

You looked around and spotted your name on a sign that was held by a man with a driver’s cap. You told your family you had to go and hung up before walking over. He greeted you with a smile and grabbed one of your bags, heading to the parking lot. You shot a text to the boys, letting them know you’d landed. The drive to the rink didn’t take long, and you were escorted by a security guard through the hallways to an office.

“Ms. Park is here,” the security guard announced before heading back to his area.

“Y/N, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Rob Blake, the general manager,” a very tall man in a suit said. He held his hand out to you, which you shook. “We’re very happy to have you here. Chi-won Han’s translator from last year has a new job, so we’re glad you can stay for longer.”

“Thank you, Mr. Blake. I’m very excited for this opportunity,” you stated with a wide smile. “So, where should we start?”

Mr. Blake’s assistant gave you multiple papers to sign before bringing you to get your ID made. You proudly hung it around your neck, even though your picture looked absolutely horrible (you just got off an eleven-hour flight). Then, Mr. Blake himself brought you to a conference room where the prospect, his agent, and the coaches were.

“Everyone, this is Y/N Park. She will be Chi-won’s translator.”

You bowed and said, “Han Chi-won, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Park Y/N.”

The boy bowed as well. “Thank you for flying here, Y/N. You have to idea how appreciative I am.”

You then introduced yourself to the agent and the coaches, dropping your bags to bow and shake hands. You told them about your exact role and how to contact you in case you were needed last minute. You’d been given a phone for work with everyone’s contacts in it, along with a rental car since you still had a valid driver’s license. You were then handed the keys to your apartment, which you would be sharing with Chi-won and one of the Kings’ players, Tyler Toffoli.

“Y/N, do you own any skates?” Marco Sturm, one of the assistant coaches, asked.

You shook your head. “I’m not very good at skating, but I’ll definitely do my best.”

“Have Tyler and Chi-won take you shopping for a pair. We really need you on the ice for drills.”

You translated for the hockey player when his head perked up at his name. He nodded shyly, his eyes darting to the floor. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him; he had no idea what anyone was saying, so for all he knew you could’ve been talking poorly about him. None of you would do that, but he didn’t know any better.

“Camp doesn’t officially start until tomorrow. We just wanted you to meet before then so that you can get situated. before the madness,” Mr. Blake explained.

“I appreciate that. It’s past midnight in Korea, so I’m pretty exhausted,” you replied.

“You guys are all set for today. We’ll see you bright and early tomorrow for day one.”

You turned to Chi-won and asked, “You wanna get food?”

He nodded vigorously, saying, “Tyler and his wife were making breakfast when I was called down here.”

Grabbing your bags, you said your farewells to the men before heading out, Chi-won hot on your feels. When you clicked the key fob for the rental car, a new SUV lit up. You let out a low whistle and popped the hatch, tossing your suitcases and duffel in. You and Chi-won then climbed in and decided on a local diner. The car ride was mostly silent, the radio playing softly in the background. When you walked into the restaurant, his eyes widened in fear as the waitress spoke to him. You ordered juice for the both of you and then started translating the menu with ease, watching his shoulders relax at the sound of a language he knew.

The two of you ate in silence for a couple minutes, simply enjoying your food. You checked your personal phone for any messages, but there was nothing. You weren’t surprised, though. The boys were supposed to be asleep, so you expected there to be nothing, but it still hurt to see that you hadn’t even heard from Jaemin. Then again, you probably should’ve expected as much.

“What?” Jaemin asked quietly.

You’d shown up at the dorms, wearing one of your boyfriend’s sweatshirts and a pair of shorts. Your hair was a mess from stressing out, so you had the hood up. He had to know what was going on, and you were out of time.

“I’m going back to America,” you repeated. “A major sports team contacted me last month to help one of their prospects. He doesn’t know much English, so I’ll be translating for him during camp.”

“When you do leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?!” You flinched at the sudden rise of his volume, the sound bouncing off the walls. There was no way the other Dreamies hadn’t heard him. There was no way the other Dreames hadn’t heard him, and you started to panic. This was definitely not how you expected this to go. “You’ve known for a month, and you’re just telling me now?!”

“I was going to tell you sooner, but since you’re working on your comeback, you’ve had to cancel dates! I didn’t have a choice but to tell you now!” you argued.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?”

“I didn’t say that, Jaemin. I’m just explaining that there wasn’t a good time, so that’s why you aren’t finding out until the day before my flight. I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.” Your hands were wringing in the kangaroo pocket, but it was hidden by the island in the kitchen.

“How long will you be gone?” When you didn’t answer right away, his jaw clenched. “How long, Y/N?”

Scared by his tone, you said, “I have no idea. Prospect camp is for a few days, but they’re expecting him to continue on to training camp in September.”

“Are you even coming back? What does that mean for us?”

“I don’t know, Jae!” you snapped. Your voice reverberated off the walls, and you could hear shuffling down the hall. “I don’t know.”

There was a heavy pause. He then asked, “You don’t know if you’re coming back? Or you don’t know what will happen with our relationship?”

“Both.”

“You’re very young to be a translator,” Chi-won stated, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You wiped your mouth with a napkin, giving you time to think of your answer without revealing too much. “My step-dad is from Korea. He and my mom got married when I was nine, but he and my step-brother had to stay there while my mom and I live here. We would visit whenever there was a vacation for school, so I learned it over the years.”

“Do you live in Korea now?”

“Right in Seoul. I moved after I graduated high school last year.”

Chi-won was silent after that. After you paid the bill, you plugged in the address for the apartment building and made the quick drive over. Parking along the street, Chi-won grabbed your bags for you and led you to the apartment. You used the key to unlock the door and walked inside. A man and a woman looked over at the same time from the kitchen and smiled.

“You must be the translator. I’m Tyler, and this is my wife, Cat,” the man introduced.

You shook their hands and said, “It’s nice to meet you. My name’s Y/N Park.”

“Come right in. I’ll show you where your room is,” Cat offered.

You followed her down the hallway to a room that had grey walls, dark wooden floors, and a matching wooden dresser. There was a queen-sized bed with fresh sheets on it and a cream armchair in the corner. Identical nightstands stood on either side of the bed, and there was a bathroom attached to the bedroom.

“Make yourself at home. You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing up,” she joked.

“Yeah, I’m gonna take a quick nap, if that’s okay?” you asked.

“Go ahead.”

Cat closed the door behind her, leaving you alone. You collapsed onto the bed and checked to see if any messages had come in before you’d left the diner’s WiFi, but still nothing. Sighing, you put your phone on the nightstand and let your eyes close, the heaviness becoming too much to fight against.

When you woke up, the sun was high in the sky. You groaned as your arms stretched above your head. According to your phone, it was a little past noon, so you rolled out of bed and headed to the kitchen. Luckily, the password to the WiFi was on the refrigerator. As soon as your phone was connected, it started blowing up with messages and snapchats. The sudden sound made you jump, definitely waking you up. You took some time to respond to the boys and your parents, and it took you a few minutes to notice that none of the notifications were from Jaemin. Sighing, you shoved your phone into your pocket and went looking for Chi-won. You found him in his room, looking at an English book with furrowed brows.

“I’m not starting lessons until after prospect camp,” you said.

The boy jumped, clearly unaware of your presence until you announced it. He closed the book and placed it on the nightstand before looking around the room, avoiding your eyes. Sighing, you sat at the desk that was by the window.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked.

“What if I don’t make it past this camp?” he questioned.

You let out a deep breath and said, “Then you go back to your team in Korea, continue to train and practice, and then next year, you’ll come back. The exact same thing as what you went through last year.”

“What will happen to you?”

“I’ll go back home as well. I’m currently under contract with the team, so if you’re not here, I’m not needed. They’ll let me know when I am. You’re stuck with me.”

///

You and Chi-won walked into the practice rink the next morning, a fresh pair of skates in the duffel bag on your shoulder. You’d gone out with Tyler and Chi-won after dinner to buy them, just like Coach Sturm had told you to. The thought of being on the ice with a bunch of hockey players and falling on your ass was terrifying, but you didn’t have much of a choice.

You headed to the weight room and sat on a bench. Skating wouldn’t come until after they were done for the day, so your bag was simply dropped to the floor. You then pulled out your phone and looked at the last message you’d sent to Jaemin.

You: I know you’re upset, but I would love for you to be at the airport tomorrow.

He never showed up. Everyone else had, but he’d stayed at the dorms. The way the conversation had ended left the status of your relationship up in the air, and you were too scared to ask. Your anniversary was supposed to be in a little over a month, but you didn’t even know if that was something to be celebrated anymore.

The sound of the door opening behind you caught your attention. The players started filtering into the room, shooting odd looks your way. You stood up when Chi-won walked in, moving to his side for when the head strength and conditioning coach started talking.

After a speech, the coach came over and introduced himself, apologizing for missing the meeting the day before. When you assured him it was fine, he transitioned the conversation to the first test he wanted Chi-won to run through. You translated everything as you followed them to the bikes, not missing a single beat. You watched as he pedaled and pedaled, sweat dripping down his face as his leg muscles rippled from the rapid movement. You could hear the cheers of encouragement from the other prospects as they watched the others that were running through the tests.

When there was time for a break, Chi-won took the water bottle you handed him, draining it fairly quickly. He then grabbed the towel from your shoulder and wiped his face and neck, tossing it in the hamper in the corner. He looked around at the other prospects, watching them talk and laugh with each other. You felt bad knowing he wouldn’t take that first step. It was understandable, though. You’d gone through the same thing when you started making trips to Korea; you’d been surrounded by people who understood you as much as you understood them, which was not a lot.

After a few minutes, it was time for more testing. You followed the group around the weight room, mostly watching but translating when needed. Everyone’s eyes were on you whenever either of you spoke, but all your attention was on him and whoever was talking to him.

At the end of the day, Chi-won looked like he was about to drop at any moment. You decided to skip the skating and brought him back to the apartment, using the work phone since it could connect to data. He dozed in the car, his face finally relaxed. You’d never noticed how much tension was there until now. Between the stress of getting past this camp and not knowing what anyone was saying, his head was probably spinning.

When you entered the apartment, Chi-won immediately headed to his room to nap. There was a note from Tyler and Cat that they’d gone to run errands, leaving you alone. You tried to FaceTime your parents, but neither of them answered. You knew the others were rehearsing, so you called Mark, but he didn’t answer either. Feeling dejected, you headed to your room and sat in the armchair. You looked out the window and watched the world below, a sudden flashback to the day you and Jaemin were sitting in the mall’s food court. Your heart ached at the thought of one of the happiest days of your life, knowing there was a chance it was all over.

///

It was the last day of the four-day camp for prospects. You wobbled onto the ice as you tried to skate closer to Chi-won. He looked over and rolled his eyes before skating over, grabbing your arm, and dragging you to the group. A few of the players laughed, but you didn’t care. You would be laughing too if you’d seen it.

Yesterday, they’d run drills, so you got to see Chi-won on the ice for the first time, and you could see why he was their first-round pick the year before. However, the true test was the scrimmage scheduled for today. Drills could be run over and over until you got it right, but in a game if you made a mistake there was no going back.

Once the teams were split, Chi-won helped you to the bench. You could hear your personal phone ring with a FaceTime call, but you ignored it. It was most likely Jeno, calling to talk to you before he finally went to bed. He loved to call you before he went to bed, which annoyed Jaemin whenever you were on a call with your boyfriend. You wished you could answer, since you hadn’t had much interaction with anyone. You mostly translated back at the apartment, leaving you craving to talk to someone, but you felt too awkward talking to Tyler and Cat.

The scrimmage was exhilarating to even just watch. Chi-won was fast, despite how large he was. He wove through players, making fantastic plays. His stick work was quick, and he seemed to know where his teammates were, making passes without looking. There was no doubt in your mind that they were keeping him, but seeing the looks on the coaches faces made it that much better. Chi-won played fairly, probably too much; he always passed the puck for a goal instead of taking a chance himself.

During a break, Coach Sturm was going over a couple plays to Chi-won’s team. You translated as fast as you could, trying your best to make it sound clear and right. Hockey pretty much had its own language, so you assumed it was working when he nodded along. As he was about to head back onto the ice, you grabbed his attention.

“Shoot the fucking puck, man. You’ve made plenty of great passes. They want to see what you’re capable of.”

His eyes widened, but he nodded and bumped your held-out fist before skating back to the face-off. You watched the puck drop, and the game was on. Your eyes never left the player you were there for, his form zipping across the ice with a breakaway. He was denied, but you could tell there was a fire lit under his ass. There were still amazing passes, but he was taking shots on goal more. The goalie was just unbelievably good at his job,

There wasn’t much time left in the scrimmage when Chi-won was skating towards the goal, him against two defensemen. His feet moved in a way you couldn’t explain, and he slipped past the opposing players, taking a shot on goal. You nearly jumped with joy as it flew past the goalie’s shoulder, and you didn’t miss the smile on his face as he celebrated with his teammates.

At the end of the day, Chi-won was asked to dinner with some of the other prospects. He nodded his head with a grin, so they told you the restaurant. Your phone connected to the Bluetooth as you were typing it into the map, and “My First and Last” immediately started playing through the speakers. Chi-won sent a look your way but said nothing.

The other players made sure you and Chi-won had seats next to each other so you could easily translate for him. They asked him questions about his life in Korea and his teammates. He talked about his family, his girlfriend Eun-ji, and his friends. You were learning more about him by doing your job rather than conversing with him yourself. You could feel something heavy settle in your chest as they all talked to each other, only looking to you when you translated.

When you were back at the apartment, Chi-won collapsed onto the couch. You sat in an armchair and stared at the ceiling, thoughts of Jaemin running through your head. It’d been five days since you last heard from him, and you were still hesitant to reach out. He was probably in the same boat, but what if he didn’t want to hear from you? What if your relationship was over and you didn’t know it? You hadn’t talked to the other boys about it, not wanting to drag them into your drama.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Chi-won complained.

“Sorry,” you said quietly. “How do you think camp went?”

“I think I did well. My whole body hurts, though. I wish Eun-ji was here. She gives amazing back massages. I would be in constant pain if it wasn’t for her. I’m definitely the luckiest guy in the world.”

That’s what Jaemin tells me. “Is she gonna be starting college this fall?”

He nodded. “She wants to study sports medicine, so she’ll be studying at Seoul University. I’m so proud of her.”

You looked at the time on your phone before realizing that it was your work one. Your personal phone was still in your duffel, which was in the car. Cursing under your breath, you rushed downstairs and grabbed your phone from the bag.

Jaemin💕: 3 missed FaceTime video calls

Shit. Just in case your relationship wasn’t fragile enough, you’d missed three calls from him. It was the first time either one of you had tried reaching out since you stormed out of the dorms in tears. Worried, you headed inside and returned to the apartment as fast as possible. You tried calling Jaemin back, but he wasn’t picking up. It was about ten in the morning where he was, and he never slept in too much no matter what time he’d gone to bed, so you knew he was ignoring you. Trying again, you cursed and swallowed around the lump in your throat. He finally picked up, and he was not happy.

“Hey,” you said as you moved to your room.

“Hey. Where were you?” he asked.

“We were at camp, and then we went to dinner after,” you explained.

His eyebrows raised. “You went to dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“Was it a date?”

Your eyes widened in shock. “What the fuck, Jaemin? Of course it wasn’t a date! Why the hell would you ask that?”

“I mean, you did say you didn’t know how this would affect our relationship,” he snapped.

“That doesn’t mean I would cheat on you. God, do you really think that low of me?” You could feel the sting behind your eyes of tears forming, but you tried to hold them back.

“I don’t know what to think anymore, Y/N. You waited until the day before you were leaving to tell me about it—”

“I didn’t have a choice, and you know it!” you exclaimed. “You know what? I’m done. I can’t do this right now.”

You hung up and threw your phone across the room, muffling sobs into your hands. Being here, having the job you’ve worked towards the past year, it was supposed to be exciting, yet you were dealing with possibly the worst heartbreak yet, and you didn’t even know if there was a relationship to salvage anymore.

Your phone was ringing with a FaceTime call from Jisung, but you ignored it. He couldn’t see you like this; even though you were partially in the wrong in the fight, he would completely lose it and attack Jaemin. You didn’t want to be the cause of something happening to NCT Dream. It would have to stay to yourself, just like everything else about your life.

///

You’d been in America for two weeks, and you were absolutely miserable. You didn’t talk to the boys as much, ignoring some of their calls so that when you did answer, there was too much to talk about for you to think about Jaemin during the calls. You hadn’t talked to him since your last argument, and you didn’t know what to do. Jisung didn’t now, but it was clear he was suspicious of something. You just wanted to go home, but Chi-won had to stay in California for more training and practice. He’d been invited to training camp in September, so it was easier for him to just stay here until he knew his future with the team post-camp.

Chi-won’s English was improving a little, but it was clear he wasn’t confident in himself. Learning a language was hard, and English was one of the most difficult. From conjunctions to words sounding the same but being spelled different to even the sentence structure, you didn’t blame him for feeling self-conscious and frustrated. You had talked to Jisung, and he’d agreed to speak with Chi-won.

“Chi-won, can you come here for a minute?” you called out.

He walked into the living room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked at your phone, jaw dropping when he saw Jisung on the screen. You held it out and said, “My brother wants to talk to you.”

He took the phone, sending a glance your way before looking back at Jisung. You moved to the kitchen to make breakfast, giving the boys some privacy. You could hear Jisung’s laugh through the tiny speaker, and it made your heart ache. Not seeing him every day felt like torture. You were so used to talk to him every day, but the both of you were too busy with your jobs, not to mention that you were still unsure of what the others knew about you and Jaemin.

As you were making some fried eggs, Chi-won joined you, holding your phone out with Jisung still on the screen. The hockey player sent a look that told you there would be a conversation later, and then he disappeared to his room. You looked at Jisung and smiled, asking him how it went. He said it went well, that Chi-won seemed to really listen to what he’d had to say. A door had opened behind him, and Chenle walked into the room. His face lit up when he saw you, and he ran over and jumped on Jisung’s back.

“Y/N! I haven’t talked to you in so long,” he said, suddenly pouting.

“I know, I’m sorry. Prospect camp was crazy, and I’ve been busy with teaching Chi-won English,” you replied. “I wish you guys were here. You’d love it.”

“We’ll have to visit sometime. Jisung, we gotta head to bed. We have practice tomorrow morning,” he said.

“Sleep well, you two,” you said with a smile.

“Love you!” they shouted, and then the call ended.

You finished breakfast and called for Chi-won. He joined you in the kitchen, taking his plate from you without a word. The two of you sat at the breakfast bar, eating in silence. Tyler and Cat were in Canada for a wedding, so you were alone with him. You waited for him to say something, anything, but he didn’t. Instead, he washed the dishes and went back to his room. He returned a few minutes later in workout clothes, so you changed into your own outfit and silently followed him to the gym downstairs. He started out on the bike while you went to the treadmill, starting a light jog.

After a few minutes, Chi-won said, “So, your brother is Park Jisung.”

“Yup. Has been for ten years,” you panted.

“I didn’t even know he had a sister.”

“No one does. It’s too dangerous.”

“That must suck. I can’t imagine keeping my sister a secret,” he said.

“Seeing him live his dream makes it all worth it. Besides, once I’m living here permanently, we’ll be able to tell everyone who I am.”

///

Getting out of bed was harder and harder as each day passed. You could feel yourself settle into a deep and heavy depression. and it seemed like the people you were living with were concerned. You never felt hungry, you were having trouble finding the motivation to shower, and you were ignoring every call that popped up on your phone.

There was a knock on your door before Cat poked her head in. You glanced at her before turning your attention back to the window. She sat in the armchair and leaned on her elbows, sending a smile your way.

“So, Chi-won and Tyler talked to the team, and they decided that if you want, you can go back to Korea until it’s time for training camp,” she told you.

You sat up slowly and asked, “What?”

“We can all tell how homesick you are, and Chi-won said that you had an argument with someone that sounded like your boyfriend. They have a back-up translator, so you can go home for a little bit,” she explained.

“He told you all that?”

“Well, he used an app to translate, but yes.”

Leaping out of bed, you hugged her tightly, mentally thanking yourself for having showered that morning. She laughed and hugged you back before telling you to start packing. You started throwing your things into suitcases and your duffel bag as she left, and tears started streaming down your face in happiness.

You hugged Tyler and Chi-won in thanks before rushing to the airport, not wanting to stay in America any more than you had to. You called your parents and Jisung once you had a ticket purchased, and they promised to keep it a secret. Jisung was practically vibrating in his seat once he heard the news, and you couldn’t wait to hug your family again.

Somehow, you managed to sleep on the flight. When you landed, it was about three in the afternoon. You raced towards your family as soon as you spotted them, leaping into Jisung’s arms. He lifted you up and squeezed tight, as if you would disappear if he let go. You then hugged your parents, not afraid to let the tears fall down your cheeks.

“I missed you guys so much,” you sobbed.

“We missed you too, sweetheart,” you dad said.

When you were home, you took a couple hours to settle in before taking Jisung with you to the dorms. Not only did you have some boys to surprise, but there was a certain boy with blue bangs you needed to speak to. Jisung seemed to be excited to be on the other end of the surprise.

As you walked into the building, your stomach twisted into a giant knot. You didn’t know how Jaemin was going to react. Before you could dwell on it too much, Jisung opened the door to the Dream dorm. Jeno and Haechan were playing video games in the living area, but they stopped immediately when they looked at you.

“Sunshine!” Jeno shouted. He threw the controller on the couch and ran over, scooping you into a bear hug.

“What are you doing here?” Haechan asked as you managed to pry away from Jeno to hug him.

“They let me come back home until training camp starts,” you explained. “Where are the others?”

“They’re in their rooms. Jaemin’s napping, but Renjun and Chenle are playing PUBG,” Jeno explained. “It’s good to have you back. Jaemin’s been moping every since you left.”

So they didn’t know. “I’ll go see Renjun and Chenle first. Jaemin must be really tired if he’s napping.”

You walked down the hallway and quietly stepped into Renjun and Chenle’s room. They were too busy looking at their phones to notice, so you sat by Renjun and asked how he was doing. He glanced at you and then did a double take before tackling you to the bed. Chenle complained, but when he looked up a screech left his mouth instead as he piled on top. They started asking you a bunch of questions at once, but you shushed them and explained why you were home. Chenle didn’t want to let go, but you explained that Jaemin didn’t know yet.

Jaemin looked so peaceful as he slept. You could just stand there and watch until he woke up, but the conversation needed to be had sooner than later. Quietly closing the door, you walked over and sat on the bed as gentle as possible. Your fingers carded through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead. He sighed in his sleep, melting under your touch. You called out his name lightly, but he didn’t stir. You tried a couple more times, and his eyes finally opened. He stared at you for about ten seconds before grabbing you. You were suddenly thrown on the bed, and he pinned your arms down before kissing you.

Kissing Jaemin felt like a dream, especially after what you two’d been going through the past few weeks. He pressed kiss after kiss to your lips, finally pulling away with a frown.

"I’m really sorry for how I acted the past couple times we talked. I trust you, and I support your career,” he said.

“I forgive you. God, I forgive you. I’ve been so miserable the past few weeks. I should’ve tried harder to tell you sooner than when I had.”

“Let’s just forget this, okay?”

“Deal.”

He leaned down to press your lips together again, not leaving any space between your bodies. He trailed kisses down your neck, sucking a mark into your skin at the base of your throat. When he moved back to your face, he whispered, “I love you.”

That was the first time either of you had ever said those words. Whenever the two of you were together, there was a good chance another Dreamie was with you, so actual dates were rare, which meant that neither of you felt like it was the right time to say them. However, the past three weeks, had proven that it didn’t matter how much time was spent alone.

“I love you too.”

It was about half an hour before you two emerged from the room. The others made fun of the hickeys that were all over your necks, but in that moment you didn’t care. You and Jaemin were more than okay, and that was all that mattered to you.

[ofmargos]

chicago’s very own margo rosas has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mercedes-AMG G65 , welcome ! your resemblance to camila mendes is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re distrusting , but being passionate might help you . i think being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be lipstick stained kisses on mirrors , doing vocal warm-ups five minutes before top of show , popping bottles of bubbly to celebrate buying a new pair of shoes . ( my biological dad paid off my mom to keep my relation to him a secret ) & ( cis-female + she / her  ) +  (  lia , 20 , she / her , cst )

whAT is up my dudes ! i’m lia & i lowkey missed wealthy & writing for my bbygirl margo so i’m rlly excited to be here !!!! if you know her from before i’m sorry lmao i’ve tweaked her background a bit but everything else is p much the same ig ?? she’s fun , she’s a dumbitch , & she’s here to make things harder than they need to be probs . but if you wanna know more , i wrote a novel below so plz enjoy that . if you wanna plot then LIKE THIS & i’ll slide in your im’s.or if you prefer discord hmu @  𝐛𝐛𝐧𝐨$𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥#1904. i look forward to writing with y’all ! <3

S T A T S ↴

-- * FULL NAME : margaret lucia rosas -- NICKNAME(S) : margo ( preferred name , started introducing herself to people as “margo” back in like the 7th or 8th grade ??? who’s margaret ? we don’t know her ) , mar , mars -- * AGE : twenty-three -- * D.O.B : october 31 -- * ZODIAC : scorpio -- * GENDER : cis-female --* ORIENTATION : heterosexual heteroromantic -- * HEIGHT : 5′2″ -- * NATIONALITY : american -- * BIRTHPLACE : chicago , illinois -- * OCCUPATION : broadway performer -- * TRAITS : passionate , creative , dramatic , distrusting , outgoing , ambitious , fun-loving , loyal , daring , sarcastic , stubborn , overconfident , impulsive , hard-working , petty , secretive lowkey

B I O G R A P H Y ↴

( TW : BRIEF MENTIONS OF ABORTION, ALCOHOLISM, AND DRUG USE )

   first things first , i’m just going to say it-- margo was an accident . and her story begins with her mother , stassia , who was born and raised on the wrong side of the tracks in chicago , illinois . although she was born into poverty , she had big aspirations for herself and wanted a better lifestyle . her ambition and work ethic were unmatched , and that’s how she managed to get into columbia university ( thank you scholariship $$ ). stassia was in the middle of struggling through her college years when she met her future baby daddy . he was older , going through grad school , and the sole heir to a billion-dollar company . the sparks between them flew instantly despite their differences and they messed around for the better part of a year before the unexpected happened . stassia found herself taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom in between finals ( #justcollegethings , amirite ) and swore she was going to pass out when she noticed the double lines . and let’s just say that her baby daddy did NOT take the news well . a lot of horrible things were said that day . too many hurt feelings for the relationship ( that apparently was never that serious to homeboy ) to carry on . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) so he cut all ties with stassia-- but not before giving her a crazy proposition : get an abortion and never talk to him again OR keep the baby but tell absolutely no one it’s his and never talk to him again . they both seemed like shitty options to stassia , who was actually tragically in love w him , but when he even offered to PAY HER a hefty sum ( i’m talking millions of dollars ) to keep the secret .. well-- it seemed like a blessing in disguise . she’d finally have the funds to live the life she always wanted . even if there was now a baby she didn’t plan for in the mix . so she took the hush money , had the baby in secret , and ran off to completely reinvented herself . ( TRIGGER WARNING END )

    although margo’s mother was born into poverty , margo certainly was not . by the time she was born , margo’s mom was ramping up to graduate college and join the high society in the heart of chicago . she got a good job , a lavish place to live , and never told margo about her past . margo grew up completely disconnected from her mother’s side of the family and had no idea of the lies she was being fed over the years . early on in margo’s childhood , her mother met a man through work who she would later go on to marry . that man is the only dad that margo has ever known . he and his daughter were a welcomed addition to their little family , making margo’s home life feel complete in some way . she was provided a good life with the dual income adding to the millions her mother kept . the life her mother always wished she had growing up . in a way , everything she did was for margo . she never wanted her babygirl to struggle like she had to .

   as she got older , margo went to all the best schools but only made average grades . she was never too concerned with academics and instead focused on her poppin’ social life and extracurriculars . during her middle school days , she developed an affinity for the performing arts . when everyone had to pick an elective , margo found herself in the theatre class and absolutely loving it . and she was good too . she had excellent stage presence and took every role she got in school productions in stride -- literally the best tree number 3 you’ve ever seen in your life . as she moved on to high school , she rose in the ranks of the theatre department until she was pretty much landing every single lead by the time she was an upperclassmen . acting was her passion , and she figured why not turn being dramatic and talking a lot ( her two most notable personality traits ) into a career . to really hone the craft , she trained herself to be a triple threat : actor , singer , and dancer ( sutton foster , eat your heart out ) . honestly truly had rachel berry in early seasons of glee vibes-- she knew she was the best around and wouldn’t stand to let anyone take the spotlight from her . her peers hated to love her talents because she acted like such a bitch to them offstage / out of character . not that margo really cared for what others thought of her anyway . self absorbed as ever , she told herself she didn’t need friends and generally pushed away any one that dared try to get close to her-- save for her sister . though somehow , someway she managed to get sucked into a small group of friends that would change her for the better ( s/o to ky and gio , sorry they had to put up w bitchy hs margo , rip )

   after graduating somewhere in the middle of her class , margo followed in her mother’s footsteps and went to columbia university . she was really only able to get in because she was a legacy and her parents made a considerable donation to the school , but we don’t talk about it . and to say that margo’s college years were transformative feels like an understatement . on one hand , they were some of the best years of her life : she got a true taste of independence , met some of her best friends ( s/o oliver and claudia ), and felt fulfilled to be in the city she had romanticized for so long-- new york baby ! but it was also a very low point for her . back in her high school years , she felt like a very big fish in a teeny tiny pond . she was hot shit , the top dog in her department , and all her hard work and effort to remain leading lady had paid off . however , at columbia she was just one in hundreds of talented people . some with more or less talent , or more or less connections , but they deserved a shot at fame just as much as she did . margo felt like she was fighting for her chance in the spotlight every single day and it was both parts exhausting and humbling for her . she had a amy march mentality “i want to be great, or nothing” and considered throwing in the towel . temporarily thrown off by the pressure to be successful , she took a small tumble from grace . ( TRIGGER WARNING !!! ) turning towards alcohol was her coping mechanism of choice . losing herself in the party scene and surrounding herself with other people that prioritized getting drunk or high over going to class and getting good grades had an obvious effect on her academic performance . ( END TRIGGER WARNING ) she almost lost her place in the BFA Theatre Program during her junior year due being on academic probation . it took a little bit of intervention on her close friends and family part to get margo clean and pull herself together . but by her senior year , she got back on track to graduate on time and participated in various shows at local theaters to build her resume . after almost losing everything she had ever worked for , a fire was lit under margo that had her determined to push herself hard than ever before and make a name for herself in the theatre world . 

   after she graduated from columbia she moved to new york permanently so that she could fully submerge herself in her work . not long after graduating , she was lucky enough to book several gigs including her big breakout role as lydia in beetlejuice the musical ! it really skyrocketed her into broadway stardom which is cool . a life long dream that once seemed unobtainable was suddenly a reality and she couldn’t have been more elated . with her sudden ( and well deserved ) success , she got a lot of media attention . soon she was getting verified on twitter , instagram , gaining a whole bunch of followers , and getting asked to be on talkshows and stuff to promote the show . honestly , truly a dream ! but her new-found fame gained the attention of another group of people .. her mom’s long lost family . one of her aunt’s ( that she previously didn’t know existed ) reached out to her through social media . and at first , margo honestly couldn’t believe that she had family that her mom never told her about . but after some thought it sort of made sense . in hindsight , her mom had always been evasive whenever margo asked about the other’s childhood or her side of the family .

   when margo told her mom about her aunt reaching out and how she wanted to meet her , her mom shut it down quick . stassia told her there were a lot of reasons that she didn’t talk to that side of the family and that was that-- PERIODT . but margo was #rebellious and went to meet with her aunt anyway . and that’s how she found out about her brazilian roots and her big ol’ loving and supportive extended family . that whole experience made margo reconsider what other things her mom was keeping from her . and boy oh boy was that a rabbit hole she shouldn’t have gone down . when margo started to demand her mother tell her the truth , it caused their relationship to grow tense . stassia eventually cracked and told her about her bio-dad and all the things she went through for margo . with the truth finally being exposed to her , margo started seeing things in a new light . like her whole life is kinda a lie and why didn’t her father want her ? where was he ? does he know who she is ? why did he never try to contact her ? has she ever walked past him in the streets and never knew ? it was all too much for her to think about so she just kinda ... shut it all out . she acted like nothing was different , even if her “ what if ” thoughts keep her up most nights . 

   if you just ignore the abandonment issues , insecurities , and her inability to handle emotions and focus solely on her success in material terms : margo’s doing really well ! she’s been living in new york full time for two (2) years now . she’s one of broadway’s most popular rising stars . having completed her run as the original lydia deetz on broadway , she’s moved on to take on the mantel of janis in mean girls on broadway . she’s learning , growing , and thriving . just trying to have a good time all the time with her friends and live the dream , baby !

P E R S O N A L I T Y  &  F U N  F A C T S ↴

margo is super fun-loving and down to clown 

will try anything once and it’s gotten her in trouble more times than she can count

also cannot stand to be bored , so she’s always looking for the next big adventure 

although she can be really ridiculous sometimes , she’s very serious when it comes to her work . she’s super hard-working and doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in the way of achieving her dreams : even herself

margo’s a very sociable girl and will talk to anyone and everyone . she’s the type that will hold a conversation for 2hrs with a stranger at a party and then when you ask her “who was that” she’s like “i don’t remember their name but i do know their entire life story so that’s cool”

has a way of making people feel like they know her really well when really she’s only letting them see 1/8th of her

keeps her personal life private normally unless you’re super good friends w her

i wouldn’t recommend pissing her off , bc she is petty as a mf and will lit rally never forget how one’s wronged her . this causes her to start fights sometimes . she’ll just bring up old shit out of no where and , since she’s nosy af , she makes everything her business and confronts people on their bs

she’s a whole liar bc she claims she’s a “retired party girl” but really party girl margo has never stopped , will never stop , can never be stopped

studied theatre in college but minored in mass communications just in case she needed a backup job

is v bad at being an adult !!!! like ... can’t cook , often forgets about her responsibilities until the last minute or needs to be reminded like 20 times , stills calls her parents to be like “how do u use a washing machine plz help” , y’know the drill . yet somehow she manages to act as a mom friend to the people that are closest to her ??? v much a “do as i say not as i do” type of hypocrite lol

she has a tiktok and posts dumb shit on there all the time w her friends and like vlogs her backstage experiences in the theater and does the stupid dances and all that stuff hehe

is learning portuguese after meeting the brazilian side of her family

self-proclaimed dancing queen and it’s not because she learned ballet , jazz , and tap whole dabbling in other styles but because when she’s drunk you will in fact catch her dancing on tables !!!!!

i cannot stress enough how bad she is at dealing with her own feelings . like ... instead of dealing with them head on she just ... shuts down . runs away . will ghost on someone she really likes just bc she’d rather leave first than get left and i hate her for it

have i mentioned how big her ego is ???? pHEW . she rides a v fine line between self confident and OVER confident . but tbh it’s just a cover up for how much she rlly hates herself , there i said it

loyalty is EVERYTHING to margo . if you got her back , she’s got your back . but if you screw her over or mess with anyone she loves then she’ll likely try to make your life a living hell IM SORRY

undiagnosed insomniac . nights she spends alone in her own bed are the hardest for her because it’s when all the bad scary thoughts creep up on her and no matter how much she wants to shut them out and just close her eyes and fall to sleep , she can’t . so she’ll often roam the city looking for a distraction or hit up her friends and bother them for some spare company

she’s doesn’t like to be alone ( not like in a romantic relationship sense -- she actually likes being single bc she’s afraid of letting ppl get close enough to hurt her ). hence why she’s always had a roommate even after she moved out of her parent’s house . if she’s not attached to her roommate / best friend kylie’s hip then she’s definitely hitting up her sister or her other friends to see if they want to hang out , even if hanging out is laying around doing nothing or running errands together . margo wants to tag along just for the company

notoriously known for coming up with terrible ideas or following through with other people’s terrible ideas without question bc #YOLO

she’s her pr agents worse nightmare simply bc she has no filter and will not change herself or what she posts just bc she has a big audience ( follow margo on social media and you’re gonna see the good , the bad , and the ugly she does not give a FUCK )

always has good intentions ! her execution / way of showing those intentions is just poor !

she is a rich girl that could not survive not being rich and doesn’t even realize how spoiled she is . spends money like it’s nothing

a mob boss ( this is a joke but also kinda not a joke )

WANTED CONNECTION PAGES HERE 

[purplesurveys]

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Have you ever had FOMO (fear of missing out)? Sure, I’ll get it quite often cause there’s always so much going on. If so, what's caused it? The last time I got FOMO it was when Blanch and Andrew made plans to have a drink Friday evening a few months ago, but they invited me by the time I was already home for at least a couple of hours. Fortunately for me the hangout never pushed through that day haha. Are you happy with your social life? I’m a lot happier with it given how dismal it used to be. I’ve since reconnected with some high school friends like Ciamae and my relationships with my orgmate friends are stronger than ever. If not, what would you have to do to change that? Have you ever hosted a party? If so, what kind of party was it? No. I don’t want to bear that responsibility lol I feel like I’d be awful at planning it and that I’d turn out to be a lousy host. I’d rather go to someone else’s party.

What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Meh, don’t remind me of my nonexistent cooking skills. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? No. It’s a gated subdivision, so not only is that not allowed, but the people living here probably aren’t into graffiti either. They’ll be pretty common once exiting the main gate of the village, though. What kind of a phone do you have? iPhone 8. What kinds of stuff do you have on your keychain? I only have the keys to my car and front door. I used to have a rainbow Mickey Mouse that Gabie got for me as well as a UP keychain thingy, but both of them fell off at some point so I stopped including non-key things on my keychain because I was really sad about losing those trinkets. Have you ever made something with your own hands that you're proud of? Yeah. I forgot which province that was in – I think it was Vigan? – but they had a pottery factory that we visited and I was able to make my own small vase. I wasn’t able to take it home because they said firing it would take a couple of days, so I only have a photo of my work as a souvenir. If so, what is it? ^ I’m pretty sure I already posted a photo of that vase on one of my surveys; I just don’t know if this is also the exact survey I answered before lol. What is your favourite Jack Lemmon film? I haven’t watched any of his work. I’ve always wanted to see The Apartment though. What is your favourite David Hyde Pierce film? Unfamiliar name so I had to look him up...andddd after Google I’ve learned I haven’t watched any of his work. A bit of an impressive portfolio though. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn't count!) No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? I don’t feel forced out of the house by it lol but I do love going to museums and trying out new restaurants and what food they have to offer. It’s not as demanding as having Pokemon Go as a hobby as I like doing either on my own time. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No. If so, did you get any lead roles or mostly supporting roles? Which IM app do you use the most? Messenger. For a brief period during the quarantine my friends and I gave Telegram a shot since they also have games in there, but that only lasted like two weeks since the game bots were too wonky. What's the most ecological thing you do? I think it would be segregating my trash. I’ve forgotten most of the things my old school taught me but that’ll forever stay etched in my head, and I’m really grateful that my university also has separate trash bins to allow me to continue the practice, because so many other public areas don’t. My former music teacher, Ms. Ettie, also taught us to ‘save the polar bears.’ It’s essentially lessening your paper consumption by always folding your notebook leaves in half, but she’s always used ‘saving the polar bears’ with us both as an easy way for us to remember, and because it’s a cute way to put it. What's your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? I don’t really like playing lots of board games and I don’t get to encounter them much either. I always end up having a hard time following any of them – especially the new ones that seem to have much more rules :/ – and board games are too expensive these days anyway. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Filipino. Besides English, what other languages can you read? Filipino. I’ve also been learning Spanish on Duolingo, but I’m still very rusty and despite being familiar with many words and phrases it’s still hard for me to read complete sentences altogether. Do you think you could make it as a chef? No, the kitchen and I have never been friends. This has baffled me for a long time because both sides of my family are known for their cooking, and my own dad is a chef. I dunno what happened to me or my siblings or cousins lol. What's your favourite kind of tea? Unhealthy, sweet, artificial/powdered iced tea. I also like the tea they give out at fancy hotels that are hot, thick, and almost taste like nothing since they make me feel fancy hahaha but I don’t get to have them a lot, so. How do you like your tea? ^ Just the first one I mentioned. I’m not much of a tea girl so the powdered iced teas are already enough for me. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? There’s been many things that have made me extremely happy but I suppose I haven’t been as happy as the time I passed my dream school and the time I asked Gab out again and she said yes. Girls, do you ever just say "Fuck it!" and go without a bra? Yes. It’s hardly noticeable whether I’m wearing a bra or not because my chest is really tiny, and in fact it looks even more unnatural when I wear a bra because all of them are just too big for me, even the ones with the smallest cup sizes. Because of that I can alllllllways get away without wearing a bra in school and no one would bat an eye. What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? So far it’s been driving out of town by myself. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? Unfortunately no. They had bug dishes in Vigan but the menu said their availability would depend on if they’re in season, and unfortunately we were there at a time when they had no bug dishes and I had to settle with the next most exotic thing they had, frog legs. The next place I wanna get to try bugs in is definitely Thailand. If not, would you even want to try one? Yup, I just said I do. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? In the same way that adults are. A lot of kids are exposed to the internet now, so I suppose they’re influenced to be impatient a lot quicker what with the possibility of their videos buffering, websites loading slowly, and other factors like those. But then again I don’t know if I’m making sense; I haven’t had to handle and observe a young kid in years. Have you ever tasted birch sap? Nope.

How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? I haven’t. Which edible flowers have you tasted? I don’t think I’ve tried any of them? And answering no to the last three questions has made me realize how inexperienced of a foodie I still am haha. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I can think of three but there were always external reasons as to why they were bad. 

Mad Mark’s was really bad and we had to follow-up so many times for each of our meals AND our check, but I’m not as resentful towards them since one of the seemingly only two servers present was pregnant. 

Barcino’s service was also quite awful and we waited an hour for our food, but we forgave them since it was Valentine’s and the place was ridiculously busy. 

Probably the worst experience comes from a family dinner at Shakey’s, but only because it was my parents’ fault. I had no problem at all with the service but I think my mom and dad just decided to be extraordinarily snippy that evening and criticize every single thing our server – and eventually, the manager – did. It was really embarrassing and I remember spontaneously crying out of frustration at their childish behavior lol. We ended up walking out with my mom sneering “your service sucks” to the manager and me giving him an apologetic look. It was so brutally embarrassing, eugh.

What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? Probably Pewdiepie jokes. Have you ever had a life threatening condition? If so, what was it? Nope. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else's? If so, why? Eh, it’s something we can’t help but do sometimes. What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? Fruitcake or food for the gods. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? Not me personally, but I’ve ordered t-shirts with custom prints back in high school for our events. What does your favourite mug look like? I really only have one mug and I’ve described it so many times on here, so I just looked for it on Google this time and this is what it looks like. The design turns blue when the beverage inside is hot, and it gradually fades back to black as it cools down.

Do you ever copy surveys to Facebook Notes and share your answers? Mmm nope. I’ve only taken surveys and posted them on my Tumblr. What's the best thing about today? I found out Keeping Up with the Kardashians is coming to Netflix by June and I CANNOOOOOOOT be any more excited for it haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? Yes, always. Everyone I follow on here writes very well and it’s always interesting to read their answers :) Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Nighttime. I don’t really like the sun and I’ve found the nightlife more suitable to my personality, interests, vibe, etc. What's your highest level of education so far? I’m taking up an undergraduate degree but I’m supposed to be graduating this year. The schedule is still wonky due to coronavirus, but I have hope in graduating. I still 130% don’t know if I will be taking up law but I’ve had family and friends lightly nagging me to try taking law school entrance exams in 2021. If you could have any job in the whole world, which would you like? A travel blogger/vlogger. Describe your ordinary day. Back when life was still...normal, I’d drive 1-1.5 hours before my first class so I can beat the traffic, but usually I’d still end up in bad traffic because that’s Metro Manila for you. What I would do on my free time depends; if my schedule was freer I’d go to Skywalk to hang with friends, but sometimes I’ll have errands to run like printing something at the internet cafe. I have nearly-daily meetings in the afternoon so I’ll have to go to those too; and then 1-2 times a week I’ll drive to Ortigas so I can see my girlfriend. It was a very hectic schedule and I miss it a lot. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? A what now? What is the brand and colour name of your favourite lipstick? I don’t have one. What do you like on your tortilla? Just whatever goes on a fajita. I don’t really have tortillas much. How about inside your pita bread? ^ All the same, just whatever goes in a shawarma as it’s one of my favorite food. What do you like in your burger? I answered this in a previous survey but I wouldn’t hesitate to order a burger if a menu says it has caramelized onions, brioche buns, and some kind of secret special sauce because that always makes me curious haha. I’ll sometimes go for bacon, jalapeño, or eggs too, but not always. How about on your pizza? I only ever order quattro formaggi; I never have the heart to order anything else as it’s my favorite variety of pizza heh. Would you ever take part in a games club? Probs not as it’s not really my hobby. If so, what would be your ideal club? I dunno, this question is quite vague haha. I suppose if there’s an club or org that bands together people who love history, debates about it, or likes watching documentaries on different history topics, I’d jump on it. Would you be able to give a speech on your favourite subject right now? Sure. We used to have several impromptu speech exercises in my public speaking class and no matter how much I dreaded each of them I always did quite well, so I got convinced that I must have some sort of talent or skill in it that I never got to discover until I had that class. Do you work better alone or in a group? Depends on what needs to be done. If there’s a video that needs to be done or a poster that has to be made, I’d be much more comfortable if I was in a group cause then someone else could take over those tasks.

Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower? It also depends. If I like the topic or task we’re given, I have no problem leading the group. Which one of your friends have you known the longest? For how long? Angela, 15 years. What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? It’s a local song called Sino by Unique Salonga. It’s not a recent song anymore, but I came across a fan video of Unique performing it in a gig and just fell in love with it all over again.