#‘im complicated’
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it’s been days and I can’t stop thinking about dorian gray but specifically from the 2003 movie the league of extraordinary gentlemen. who let that man be so flamboyantly melodramatic and where can I get one I want to study him as he says funny little quips at me
#the league of extraordinary gentlemen#he was my favorite part of the entire movie#‘im an /immortal/ not a /gazelle/‘#‘grOwl’#‘im complicated’#‘bomb voyage’#‘*in the middle of a fight to the death * *rolls eyes* we’ll be at this all day’#what a queer man#i know he made out with and fucked Mina but#to me he’s queer#because i want him to be#im sure this doesn’t match the real Dorian from the actual book but I haven’t read it yet#Im just going to savor his silly demeanor
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thanks for the light
I was just trying to figure out how procreate works but then the op brainworms got to me and 35 hours later here we are! can you tell I miss home-cooked meals :')
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#fanart#one piece#opla#zosan#blackleg sanji#op sanji#roronoa zoro#nami#usopp#monkey d. luffy#i was like wow procreate is so cool for letting me check time spent on each canvas...35 HRS and 22 MINUTES????#tbf it's spread out over 3 weeks BUT STILL#guys...the file name for this is nakama.png and im so emotional about it#something something comfort food and family and this is what love looks like and now im sobbing#im so predictable it's the found family that gets me every time#and the scene where they all announced their dreams with a foot on the barrel?? i swear i teared up a little#also this is lowkey the most complicated thing i've ever made im so proud#nothing but the best for these strawhats <3
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reminder to all my disabled lovelies that "gross" symptoms do not make you gross or lesser in any way. incontinence, vomiting, irritable bowels, or gastrointestinal issues shouldn't be as demonized as they are. you are real, valid, and loved
#this post brought to you by#herniated disk and incontinence that im going to urgent care about tomorrow#honestly im scared. those symptoms together can cause serious complications and. yeah not good#struggling with this tonight for me but i gotta put the energy out there. manifest that shit#cripple punk#actually disabled#disability#disabled#cpunk#cw emetophobia#cw bodily fluids mention
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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honestly if you don't outwardly show support for palestine, i'm automatically assuming you're a zionist. no one has an excuse about being uneducated anymore. everyone who does not support us, either out of ignorance or genuine malice, is complicit in our genocide and i do not trust them at all. if you have not spoken out about what is happening, you are not, and were never, our ally.
#i don't wanna say “zionist until proven otherwise” but it genuinely is basically to that point#im sick and tired of people using the excuse that “it's complicated” because it's genuinely not#and they're willfully contributing to our genocide by staying ignorant#i'm sick of this and i'm going to refuse to respect ANYONE unless they outwardly show their support for palestine#palestine#free palestine
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heiress eternal
#so many thoughts about her#the handmaid#the handmaid homestuck#homestuck ancestors#damara megido#homestuck#egg art#according to hussies book aradia was in contact with the handmaid to receive game instructions#which is interesting considering megidos can speak to the dead and the handmaid is one of the few ancestors alive#so either handmaid channeled a dead aradia or future aradia channeled a dead handmaid#handmaid could of also just manipulated the timeline to make sure aradia was the catalyst for the game being played#or something less more or equally complicated#and without this we just have to assume its maid powers allowing aradia to have flawless instruction of what to do or shes just a#level 3000 gigabrain girl genius at 13 years old#and instead of putting that interaction in the story we got. the dancestor flashes#so im a little miffed about it really
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the madness frustration loneliness of the dissonance of a mismatch of the rotten heart to the rest
allosexual aromantic swag happy pride *peaces out*
#my art#alloaro#aromantism#happy pride#my animation#if this isnt fucking obvious is a personal post about MY EXPERIENCES#i love being aro more than any other part of my identity tbh but bro#this shit is crazy wack when you dont got the asexuality to match it made me into a fucking specimen#and i love picking apart my own brain#also bi aro ppl are so crazy rare and for what. i dont get why allo aro ppl are so rare. WHY ARE WE SO RARE? WHY.#like the opposite many more alloro ace ppl exist than split attraction ppl of my flavor and thats Wack. its wack. i dont get it.#its not like its complicated (okay maybe it is but also it isnt its simple to Me) so whats the populations problem.#gif#anyways. i wanted to animate this personal piece bc im a fucking weirdo i guess
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when your long term long distance low commitment casual boyfriend breaks up with you for a job promotion
#good omens#good omens season 2#gos2#gos2 spoilers#good omens spoilers#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#barbie#btw im just being silly ik its more complicated than that lol
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sorry to break it to you but asexuality doesn't equal sexual purity. To some of us, sex is like... rotisserie chicken.
#i can't stand the smell and texture of rotisserie chicken most days#but on rare days you want it#i have a complicated relationship with rotisserie chicken#i was hit by an intense craving for it recently after not consuming it for years and now im back to hating it again
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girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief
for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled
something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.
figuring out the looks:
i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair
#tim drake#dc#bruce wayne#janet drake#sart#i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter#which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves#but this also definitely works for trans tim#she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter#would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around#she barely knew her son#gender idk he's a girl 👍 hope that helps#i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn#-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED#i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol#(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)
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still figuring out how to draw this guys face. more coming soon 🙏
#please tell me im not the only one who has no idea gow to draw those braids on the sleeves. so complicated for no reason#effervescent-art#leonard mccoy#star trek tos#star trek fanart#leonard bones mccoy
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weird state of self
#almost midnight. quick post therian art#this is also about being autistic! \o/ and being in the closet! and being weird!! and.. yeah its about being a werewolf again. yeah#im not exactly a therian myself (its complicated) but ive been inspired by therian artists lately soo ^_^#and i really like to blend humans + wolves in general. idk if u could tell.#therian#therianthropy#aceart#wolf#werewolf#wolfkin#otherkin
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#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#kim kitsuragi#harrier du bois#harry du bois#this is probably one of my fav conversations in the game...#sad that not many people get to see it(?) cause you need like 7 in empathy?#comics#comic art#trans#cw blood#blood#cw smoking#my first time making a comic i hope it looks okay lmao#ough i have so many thoughts about kim and his complicated relationship with his name#im interpreting the dialogues in a very transgender way but its definitely about his racial identity too#cause its a *seolite* name#another factor of him not being seen as a revacholian#and its one of the only things he has left of his parents too#i wonder if the name kim is seen as more masculine or feminine in seol and in other isolas?#im definitely *not* projecting haha#i read once in a fic that kim *attempted* to translate his parents' letters when he was young#10/10 fic made me cry#thats why i decided to add the seolite dictionary - i dont think kim would have *tried* to learn seolite otherwise#he definitely has some kind of internalized racism he needs to get over#sorry for rambling#my art
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there is such a trauma to daughterhood. it comes from the lack of agency - not only from being born as a woman but existing in the world as a child. an oppression on top of an oppression. people make jokes about girls with daddy issues but nothing compares to the kind of trauma you recieve from having a complicated relationship with your mother. people talk about it so often. and it's one thing to have a mother who hates you which is always awful, but often it feels worse to have a mother who doesn't. to have a mother who is simply exhausted by the fact you were born. a mother who doesn't hate you, but loves her men more. a mother who maybe wanted to be a mom, once, and then came to realize what a thankless job it was. and she didn't want to hate you, but it was hard to love you and even harder to like you. a mother who doesn't hate you exactly, but never outgrows her desire to be attractive and beautiful and makes you her enemy in that way. or a mother who has nothing more to her than being a mother and clings to coddling you in a way thats suffocating. so many daughters develop deep empathy for the mothers because they were women, daughters, girls once. everyone deals with it differently. but at the end of it, you still need a mother and that is the most horrible and wretched part of all. the trauma of being alive, of being a woman, and of having a mother but still needing one. such a uniquely miserable feeling
#aristotle.txt#ask to tag#motherhood#it is so... man#this isnt about me but about the weird fic im writing JHXFHKJD#it just made me think. its so complicated to have a mom who is not good at being a mom#and sure she is just a woman. but you did deserve a mother once. ohhh how wretched
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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SEA MOON SEE YOU
#og art#one piece#sanji#blackleg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#IM NEVER TOUCHING THIS CANCVAS EVER AGAIN#GOD. WHY DID I DO THAT.#HOWEVER. ITS CHOPPERS BIRTHDAY SOON. I HAVE TO MAKE PREPARATIONS#PREFERABLY LESS COMPLICATED THAN THIS SHIT#HAVE YOU FUCKING HEARD THIS SONG. HAVE YOU REALLY#IT HAUNTS ME. HE WAS JUST A LITTLE GUY.#I WANT TO HOLD HIM LIKE A COOL ROCK#HE WAS SO LITTLE….. WHY IS THE WORLD SHIT……..
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