#‘i need to get stronger’ process to get stronger

[tookishcombeferre]

I'm a 30 year old transmasc non-binary person. I saw the movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire when I was 7 in the theater. My dad's dad had just died, and we weren't all that close. But, it really helped me to see Milo process the death of his own grandfather at the time. I think Atlantis came out about a year(?) after my dad's dad died? Anyway, I really always related to Milo even if I couldn't understand why at the time. (Now I get it.) I just watched the movie again because I wanted to, and my toddler watched bits and pieces with me while we shared some tea. They watched me *bawl.* My mom's dad, though we never got to talk about the fullness of my experience before he died a little less than two years ago, was the only family member who just understood me with no words. He never knew my name or pronouns - so he never used them. But, he got *me.* His yard was where I could climb trees, feed birds, roughhouse, and do all the "forbidden boyish" stuff. I watched Robin Hood and The Sorcerer's Stone in his living room. I built towers up to the ceiling. I got to read Frankenstein on his porch when I was in the seventh grade. I'm pretty sure my first unabridged copy of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries was purchased for me by him. He was basically my dad or second-dad. Later, he would listen to me talk about my papers, my poems, and my stories and, in turn, I'd listen to the latest of his research in biophysics, when he was still a researcher, or I'd listen to him explain, in layman's terms, the newest experiments he would read about after he stopped doing his own stuff. These were our lost civilizations and genuine arrowheads. When Mr. Whitmore handed Milo the Shepherd's Journal and said the line "Our lives are marked by the gifts we leave our children, and this is your grandfather's gift to you." My own kid was pillowed on my shoulder. I heard that line at 7. I cried in the theater because it's sad. You don't have to have lived the line for it be sad. I needed to learn loss young so I could feel loss better older. Because, now? That line collapsed on me like a ton of bricks, but I didn't get crushed by those bricks. I had a hard hat and padding to protect me. Like I said, my grandfather was like my dad. He's not coming back. But, he has given me so much. He has left me so much, and I get to decide what I want to leave to my own kid someday. I get to decide what world, what legacy, and what I leave for my own child. Because, it wasn't just the journal that Thaddeus left for Milo. It was the values that allowed Milo to remain steadfast when standing up to people physically stronger than him. I remember that right now. Especially right now. It's not just the intellectual gifts my grandfather left me. It's the tenacity. It's the love. It's protectiveness. It's the gentleness. It's the grace. It's the desire to be curious. It's the *need* to know. It's quiet faith. It's the desire to do justice. It's the desire to see peace for the next generation. It's the desire to listen to all sides of an argument before saying my own piece while also knowing when things have gone way too far and need to be shut down. It's knowing when and how to give people space to grow in their own way and time. Because, while everyone else in my family was forcing me into dresses, my grandfather was letting me climb trees in jeans and sneakers. He also didn't bat an eyelash when I cut my hair off my junior year of high school. So, he may not be here. But, he lives in the gifts he left me. So, while, I got my vaccine at 7, it didn't take effect until 28. Even then, I'm only just starting to feel like I'm actually inoculated at 30.

We can't be afraid to keep inoculating the youth. Kids need to see death, loss, and such like in their media. Withholding it from them just makes them less equipped for these exact moments when they're older. I firmly believe that.

Dear, sweet, Littlefoot, do you remember the way to the Great Valley?  I guess so. But why do I have to know if you’re going to be with me? I’ll be with you. Even if you can’t see me. What do you mean I can’t see you? I can always see you.

The Land Before Time(1988) dir. Don Bluth

[superdorf1]

Sword of the day (1/20/2025): Medieval training sword by Cold Steel

I'd like to preface this particular post with a disclaimer: this is a terrible training sword. It's overbuilt, awkwardly constructed, too stiff and pointy for safe thrusting, and it both handles and hits like an old minivan. You could break bones with this thing. There are better products out there, and if you're strapped for money you can even find safer options in a similar price point. The only decent use case I can think of for this thing is as an improvised self-defense tool - even then, you might as well just carry a heavy cane or something.

That said... well, I wasn't always so safety-conscious. The Cold Steel trainer was, for better or worse, my first "proper" sword.

I did a lot of swordfighting as a kid. I'd play at swords with anyone who was willing: siblings, family friends, whoever. To this end, we had a lot of toy swords kicking around the house, of various shapes and materials: wooden bokken, foam boffers, cheap NERF swords, and the like. Less-obvious sword substitutes saw their moments in the sun too, like Wiffle bats and reflector sticks (the latter made for an especially evocative wizard staff.) Heck, regular sticks from the woods got plenty of use as well.

Various objects that saw regular combat use in our front yard. The best time we had with these sword-like objects was spent, not in direct combat, but in a kind of shared storytelling experience: we would fight imaginary enemies of every kind, cutting down demons and robots in worlds of our own devising. We called these collective endeavors "games," but the rules were implicit, the scope enormous, and the creative process as natural as air. I could tell you very little now of the settings we devised, save that they invariably contained an immense battle between good and evil: a small band of heroes, thrown again and again against powers of primordial gloom. We spent many hours this way. I suspect I would see the stories we told as prosaic now. I'll never forget the emotions they imparted. We also fought, a lot. I was the oldest, and a bit of a bully; I enjoyed feeling strong. I'd swordfight anyone brave enough to try me. We went full force with the weapons available to us, and found pretty regularly that our toys simply weren't built to handle the strain: sticks broke, foam swords chipped, wiffle bats dented. I wanted something stronger, more "real," purpose-built for sparring. We looked around on Amazon for awhile, and stumbled on the Cold Steel polypropylene swords.

Me and my sibling each got to pick a sword. They picked this gladius.

I'll say this about Cold Steel: when they call their trainers "virtually unbreakable," they mean it. Polypropylene is a very dense and stiff plastic, and these trainers use a lot of it - they're solid all the way through. We beat these swords on trees, rocks, other sparring weapons, and anything else we could think of. Beyond a couple scuff marks, the only way I was able to damage them at all was with a saw. (I'll get to that in a moment.)

Eager to finally have a "real sword," I set about unearthing the necessary research materials to best use it. I'd taken some martial arts in middle school, and now I wanted to learn to swordfight properly - the way knights did. I found a website from 2001 that claimed to offer just that. Their membership fees were prohibitive, but I could take inspiration from the few resources they did offer for free: most importantly, an old translation of Sigmund Ringeck's Commentaries on Johann Liechtenauer's Fechtbuch, c. 1440. This particular historical manual was dedicated to the use of the longsword. I, not realizing I would need the (slightly more expensive) hand-and-a-half trainer, only had an arming sword. Undeterred, I set about interpreting the Master Strikes.

A grip intended for one-handed use

My endeavors were doomed from the start. The clunky arming sword, already difficult to swing about with one hand on account of its complete lack of balance, was downright uncomfortable to wield with two. The grip was far too short; the wheel pommel dug into my palm if I tried to grab it with my left hand. I didn't have the resources to purchase another sword, and the training tool I had was unacceptable. Drastic measures were in order. The house we lived in at the time was quite large, and it contained, among other amenities, an impressive basement. Half of the basement was done up with drywall and proper flooring, suitable for residential use; the other half was half-lit pipes and bare concrete, the bones of the house visible to anyone who cared to venture down. In the back of this skeletal tunnel was a good-sized plywood table with a vise, furnished with a couple shelves on the walls above. This was our workshop. The workbench was a mess of scattered screws, wood scraps and hand tools, perfect for tinkering and general foolishness. We were permitted to use this space at our leisure, and I applied myself there to the best of my abilities: pounding nails and carving wooden knives, most projects left incomplete, their purpose forgotten, like a caveman's laboratory. This was the space I employed for my latest ambitions. The first thing was to take off that horrible wheel pommel. Locking the sword into the table vise, I hacked away at it with a cheap Japanese hand saw, lopping off the sides of the pommel and squaring it off as best I could. Now the exposed length of plastic could serve as part of the grip, giving me more room for two-handed use. Without a pommel, however, my hand would just slip off the stub. Mere amputation was insufficient. A prosthetic was needed. I sawed off a chunk of pressure-treated lumber from a convenient scrap, roughly the size I wanted. This done, I hacked the chunk down to a crude imitation of a longsword pommel. Finally I put a hole in the exposed stump of my sword with a hand drill, drilled a similar hole through the new pommel, and drove a screw through pommel and sword hilt both. (A screw? A nail? I don't recall.) The operation was complete. I could now learn longsword as the German masters intended.

An approximate rendition of my modifications The operation was, for a time, a success. I could now swing my sword at the empty birdhouse in the front yard, and put both of my hands on the grip instead of just one! My long-term prospects in the field of swordplay, however, were nevertheless doomed. The Cold Steel trainers still had no concept of safety whatsoever, and for that matter, neither did we - we were fighting with no helmet, feeble hand protection, and a weapon almost purpose-built for damaging the skulls and fingers of everyone involved. My sibling, younger and more vulnerable than myself, soon lost any interest in facing me. At some point my hackjob of a pommel popped off the sword entirely, and I gave up the pursuit. I've made only small forays into European swordsmanship since then: I've picked up a couple more practice trainers (after significantly more research), but otherwise I haven't had the time or money to pursue the hobby farther. If I ever join a club in earnest, I'll be going into it with a lot more armchair knowledge (and a lot more caution) than I had in highschool... ...and if I ever have children myself someday, you can bet I won't be buying them swords from Cold Steel.

Total length: 39.5 in Blade length: 32.25 in Handle length: 7.25 in Weight: 29.3 oz Material: Polypropylene Point of balance: no

https://www.coldsteel.com/medieval-training-sword-waister

[halloween-neko96]

On today's episode of my obsessing session over my two favorite blorbos, Cale Henituse and Monkey D. Luffy. I have found some similar aspects between them!

!SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH TCF AND ONE PIECE!

Someone who gives you food is a good person (especially when they are struggling with food themselves)

To both Cale and Luffy, people who give them food are good people. But especially when the person who gives them food is also struggling with food themselves. Lee Soo Hyuk had given Kim Rok Soo (Cale) his chocolate bar after saving him even when they were in the middle of an apocalypse thus food is a sacred thing. Rebecca and O-Tama also bought/gave Luffy food when he was hungry even when they, themselves didn't have much.

Both Cale and Luffy also really value food. To be able to eat and enjoy food, especially with their people is a thing that both of them love. After a battle or a crisis, Cale loves to enjoy luxury meals with his people while Luffy loves to party/have a banquet with everyone. Both of them also want people around them to not be hungry and be able to enjoy food too.

People should be able to live as they want (without causing harm to those innocent around them)

Live freely, live as you please.

I notice that freedom to live as you please is a thing that Cale and Luffy usually give to those around them while the people who oppose that freedom of others usually meet the fucking end of Cale's/Luffy's violent rampage.

I will do whatever I want.

Also, Cale and Luffy usually just do whatever they want too.

Bonus Round

Adaptability (Cale ‘I have a very detailed plan with at least 20 more backup plans’ Henituse VS Monkey D. ‘I have no plan’ Luffy)

Cale Henituse, the strategist who can make up a new plan in a mere second if his original plan is thrown off.

Versus

Monkey D. Luffy, the fool with no plan at all and just bulldozing his way through everything.

Cale ‘I am Weak’ Henituse VS Monkey D. ‘I am Strong’ Luffy

… Cale is a liar, pants on fire. He is very powerful actually.

Cale ‘The Best Scammer Out There’ Henituse VS Monkey D. ‘Can’t Lie For The Sake Of His Life’ Luffy

On another note, Luffy is a terrible liar like Choi Han, lol.

Bonus Bonus Round

Cale ‘My greatest fear is being the only survivor among my people’ Henituse VS Monkey D. ‘Being alone is more painful than getting hurt’ Luffy

Bonus Bonus Bonus Round

‘Watching my brother/hyungs die in front of me’ VS ‘My brother/hyungs come back from dead’

‘Thank you for loving me’ VS ‘Being alive is the best’

Bonus Bonus Bonus Bonus Round

‘I fear no God’ VS ‘Are you a God?’ (Plus ‘Nonsense that normal people should not be capable of’ VS ‘A bunch of genius specialists who follow them’)

Extra Round

‘Having a scary loyal guard dog swordsman’ (AKA Choi Han VS Roronoa Zoro)

[goldkirk]

I opened Pinterest for the first time in months.

That made me realize a lot about how bad I was actually doing and how much of a Waffle House Index use of Pinterest is for adult me, apparently.

I hadn’t realized it had grown that foundational to me in a healthy-brain-exercise-and-hobby-joy way. Nice to know moving forward! It’s another sign I can keep track of and use to spot correlation/indicator patterns earlier my behavior.

I love this kind of thing, it makes me so excited!

[mugzymiik]

oh you'll regret this. /vsilly

mostly copy-pasted from the BugVerse doc but i do have some originally-wrote shit :thumbsup:

claps my hands SO.

BugVerse originally began with me wanting to shove Bug into canon TPC after her only existing in a rp au (hi Dark and Tea (and Sage but u arent on tumblr) i see u /vsilly) and i kinda wanted to extend her out into the actual fandom so Um. BugVerse began. (and honestly BugVerse used to be a filler name now look at it LOL)

SO.

timeline-wise, during tpc

im waiting til a little more comes up in canon tpc before i can make a full-on timeline to fix shit, BUT heres the main rundown, REALLY in general plus some minor shit

yada yada shit happens in the past obviously (also like 1000 years back Pyrare as a child is promised by the Trees to be in for Great Things and hes like umm wtf but No one believes him)

first corruption happens. it takes like 2 weeks for the Trees to actually do something (see: Kitstate /silly) but a week into the corruption pyrare is called to the Trees like will A Pyrare please come to the front desk .your child is waiting for you.

Pyrare gets Gold and boom The First Corruption ends. Pyrare gets corrupted and shatters Gold at some point but its fine he comes back to life and beats up dub and puts his twinkass in a seal

BUT WHOOPSIE DAISY YKNOW WHAT. those last 2 points? there was a Hero before Gold. came out a week before. her name was Bug. the trees were like FUCK OH WAIT SHIT WE NEED A HEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I NEED A HERO or however the song goes, panicked, made a certain octagon. planned to be yellow, came out gray and powerless. Bug.

Bug was forced out of the Tree and given to r*dd (ewwwwww) a week through Kitstate and ushered away in plan for a better stronger Hero to be made in her place: Gold.

anyways yeah corruption ends, shit is fine. Pentellow gets Tsavorite, Iris gets Orange, Cube gets Cya-- OH. OH FUCK. OKAY. UM!

TURNS OUT, DUB GOT STRONGER. HE BREAKS OUT AND CAUSES HAVOC! UH OH SPAGHETTI-OS

shit

happens

i

need

to

figure

this

out

heroes all get staged, theyre on their way to the tower ready as FUCK to go beat Dub's ass. whoopty-doo, yknow what! they go thru a town , just made their way out, then- oh shit WAIT IS THAT A HERO.

turns out, this was the town that Bug (and r*dd by proxy EWWWWWWWW) was residing in. Bug spotted the group, got pissed at their mere existence in her general area and followed them out of spite.

they have a whole confrontation, its revealed that Pyrare knew of Bug's existence the whole time, which puts a little bit of a strain between him and Gold for a bit (because cmon. your dad just caused you to have a heavy existential crisis, you would too /lh)

the group goes "we dont have TIME to return her WE NEED TO GO." so they just take Bug along . which they wished they didnt on multiple occasions throughout the journey (she does eventually chill the fuck out though thanks to Tsavorite after she opens up to him about what she's been through. empathetic ahh creature i love him)

the fuckery happens, heroes get shattered, theres a moment of silence (even the corrupts are a little taken aback; they did want the heroes shattered really, but now that theyve seen it actually happen, they just.. freeze. did they really want those kids dead? they didnt. ..did they-? they were only children. why.. why would they ever want that in the first place-..? what were they thinking?) before Cube's Tree pieces glow; theyre connected to the Heroes. revive them. shock them back to life.

TIO happens lmao

i might add post-tpc later :thumbsup:

anyways. lore-non-timeline-wise

ToL: Connection Item

An item that a caretaker can hold at times to strengthen the connection between themself and their Hero. The connection item's selection process is simple, really- it's the very first gift that a caretaker receives from their Hero. It can't be changed, but it can be replaced with an item that's very similar to the original.

Cyan & Cube: bead bracelet

Iris & Orange: rock necklace

Tsavorite & Pentellow: bandana

Pyrare & Gold: stone

Circusic & Cyanogen: tbd

Hexalace & Bug: ribbon

ToL: Herospeak

A language only Heroes (and The Sun) can speak, AKA that squeaking noise they make when Heroes are in their first stage. It requires a high pitch to properly be spoken in an understandable way- a pitch that only the Heroes and The Sun can reach with their voice. It comes naturally for Heroes and The Sun- however it’s extremely hard to learn for others, often taking years of practice to even become slightly fluent. However, no matter how fluent a regular shape is, their inability to reach the specific pitch of voice causes them to have a heavy accent when speaking Herospeak.

Tree Marking

A triangle marking on a shape's chest that indicates that that shape can fight. Any shape with a triangle marking has a weapon, be it physical or controllable. A triangle marking is considered a blessing from the Trees of Life themselves.

Physical - a weapon that a fighting-abled shape can hold to use. A downside to this type of weapon is that if another grabs it, the weapon holder isn't going to get it back unless they manage to grab it back.

Controllable - a weapon that a fighting-abled shape can summon using just their mind, and control even when not holding it. A downside to this type of weapon is that it uses the weapon holder's focus to keep control of it; if they lose focus or get distracted, the weapon can easily hurt somebody unintended- or even the weapon holder themself.

Kitstate

The state that a Hero is in when first created. The time between creation and birth from the Tree is 2 weeks; their eyes are sealed shut and the only noises they can make are squeaks. Heroes are in this kitten-like state for the first half of that (1 week). “Kitstate” is not the official term for it- it doesn't have an actual term, it's just called that by The Sun. The Sun takes care of them while in this state.

other stuff not able to go in categories and/or i havent written them out enough to put them in the lore section above

post-corruption, the Blue Tree of Life and the Yellow Tree of Life get some pink (for Cyanogen) and gray (for Bug) mixed into them, respectively. this phenomeneoeoom (how the fuck .) doesnt have an official name really, but theyre often called "Split Trees", "Blended Trees", things like that by citizens

following up on Kitstate (putting here since this isnt written out), in terms of the Trees creating the Heroes, creating and birthing are two different things. initially, the Tree creates the Hero BUT they aren't immediately taken out of the Tree– instead, theyre in Kitstate for about a week and then they lose that state afterwards. and a week after that they are FINALLY taken out of the Tree by their caretaker

when in TIO, Heroes temporarily tap into their caretaker's connection to the Trees of Life to be able to use their weapons

the Blended Trees:tm: (or whatever u wanna call em; again, multiple names used by multiple people.) actually are referred to with Segments. for example, Gold is the Hero of, you guessed it, the Yellow Segment of the Yellow Tree of Life, while Cyanogen is the Hero of the Pink Segment of the Blue Tree of Life. literally everybody discards that long ass name though and just calls them Heroes of the [color] Tree of Life, no "segment" bullshit (good riddance i say)

the locations actually have names!!!!! woaw!!!!: Polygon County (Tsavorite/Pentellow's place yk), The Land of Spheres obvs (Iris/Orange)- but also the Pyrare/Gold and Cube/Cyan places r still in concept :thumbsup: BUT the place where the Trees of Life/Dub's Tower are referred to as Paradise Central

corrupts actually become "normal" shapes after the events of TPC. it mainly consists of a lot of the corrupts that came to their senses (kinda) after the Heroes shattered, but also those who felt happier as a corrupt. (eg Ajaceare (probably), Circubit (also probably)). they arent contagious(?) anymore; they are a minority though, often frowned upon, referred to as "cowards" or "traitors", hell some of them have even been outcasted by their friends and family for it. theyre really oppressed, but of course a lot of people arent like that and have actually accepted the new kind of shape among them. i mean cmon- they felt happier as a corrupt, why be a bitch about it? keep your nonexistent nose out of others' business, dickhead! the corruption cant hurt you anymore. cry about it.

YES, THERE ARE ANIMALS!!! IN FACT I HAVE A VERY SMALL HANDFUL OF THEM WITH REFS ALREADY!!! for right now i have Monstercats (cat breed), Staryels (dog breed), Tri-pys (eel species), Septapora butterflies, Chirruplumes (bird species; ALSO TYYYYY ECLIPSE FOR THE NAME HEHEHEHHAAHAH >:D!!!!!!!!)

changes n shit,

"cubes" -> "squares" (to prevent confusion)

"mature" -> "stage" (it kinda rubs me the wrong way to call it "maturing" - because like, theyre still children. they have the same maturity as before, theyre not magically as mature as everyone else in the series just from a magical triangle being pressed to their body)

"Teal" -> "Cyanogen"

also misc fun facts

Heroes have an odd obsession with going through windows

Heroes (capital H) ≠ heroes (lowercase h) in writing; for Heroes (Tree-related) the H is capitalized as a respect/official thing, and also to not confuse Heroes with "heroes"- e.g. "that's the Heroes" vs "you're my hero"

The caretakers are also pretty respected obviously, but their titles aren’t capitalized. Why? Idk

triangles have a much stronger connection to the trees of life than other shapes which may or may not be how Barracuda and Dub made the corruption. ;)

after Dub is defeated, every year on the anniversary of that day the Heroes get in a circle and chant "its not over til its over" to each other for exactly an hour straight. the caretakers were VERY worried initially, and debated calling an exorcist or something- but theyve grown used to it after like the first 3 years. but it still scares the shit out of anybody else who's unfortunate enough to witness it

"add-on Heroes" (AKA Cyanogen and Bug) dont get a gradient in their design; they also have more sections in their hair. why? why the hell not

the Trees occasionally spread out seeds to other areas using the wind. these trees sprout irregularly fast, but other than those two points theyre really just normal trees. the Heroes however can tell what trees were sprouted by the Trees of Life, and they call those trees their siblings. because technically, they kind of are! <3

ima be completely honest i still have no idea what im gonna do with Dub post-corruption as of right now. i'll figure it out eventually though trust :pray:

also yes snake Gold is canon here <3 also bunny Orange

pure shapes top their "i"s with triangles; meanwhile corrupt shapes top their "i"s with octagrams

also Hatsune Miku is canon

and also Monopoly is canon too but its called Capitalism instead (thanks Ash the comm i got from u gave me the idea /sillypos)

SPEAKING OF ANIMALS. the Heroes DO have a few cat-like traits left over from Kitstate:

Bug has a habit to loaf when content

Gold's eyes slit when hes intimidated/angry/whatever (alongside the Cobra-Ish Floomf yea)

Orange's hair fluffs out when surprised/scared/angry/whatever (which is why he wears his hat a lot)

Cyan straightup growls

Tsavorite has a tendency to just, bite. bite and gnaw. Randomly.

Cyanogen is Cyanogen

theres more on the doc :3c

anyways

lowkey tpcblr should hae a showcase or somehting featuring various tpc rewrites by the community

idk just a thought

[goldenchocobo]

Been having a few Ventus thoughts™ lately, and one thing I landed on was;

You ever think that Ventus acts 'immature' for his age because- with the memory loss, time travel, comas and stifling by Eraqus he's endured, he hasn't been allowed to mature? Although he's the same age as Sora and Roxas, he's still gullible/too trusting/Head Empty because he's had years of his life stolen from him.

[mctreeleth]

Big Dice Update:

The metre tall dice is very good but it is difficult so say that is bigger than some of the other “biggest” dice I have seen, and now that the technique has been worked out it isn’t that hard to do the math for the next size up, and the sewing is not technically challenging it is just slow, so like, I may as well go for broke in my attempt to make the biggest roll-able D20 there is.

I found some $4 a metre light grey canvas at Spotlight while I was home over the long weekend but they only had 5 metres of it and I needed 10. Fortunately the one up here in the city also had some, so I now have the 10 metres required to make both the 135cm (bigger than the biggest roll-able dice I have found record of online) and 70cm (can fit through a door - just) D20s.

I have ordered a pack of rainbow dyes to colour it (I just want big random rainbow splotchy batik) which hopefully gets here by this weekend, so we can get some spray bottles and make a day of it. I still need to order a hundred+ dollars worth of zipper and twill tape, and then go back to Spotlight for about $30 of the cheap poplin for the tubes.

As always, the noodles will be the last bit bought, because these two will require another 20 of them, and my apartment is quite small.

Oh, and I would like to take the real big one to the medieval fair, which is in less than 4 weeks.

I make such good choices.

[prettyflyshyguy]

Highlighting chunks of text in my manuscript and commenting 'consider deleting' while I quietly whisper "This is hurting me way more than it's hurting you"

[dani-dimitrescu]

holy-mothxr

"Curious..." Miranda hadn't fully expected this outcome, but the flash of red eyes encouraged her to take note of the changes already happening to Daniela due to the injection and mixing of cells between two different cadou. "I suppose there won't be a need for stitches after all." If her newly formed hypothesis was correct, simply replacing Daniela's skull cap and pulling her scalp back over it should be more than enough to kickstart the regenerative process. And if the bid to make her stronger just like her mother than it would be not long at all for there to appear to be no incision at all. Doing all this and resuming taking notes and sketches to commemorate the occasion, Miranda could only wait patiently to see how Daniela would really feel when she was conscious for more than a few seconds.

Her surgical wound did indeed heal quickly, not as quickly as the Dimitrescu matriarch healed but faster than Daniela's wounds usually healed. As soon as her wound was fully healed her eyes shot open, and she sat up panting. "...don't feel good..." Daniela groaned in pain as another spasm hit her, and she doubled over falling from the table. The rehead tried getting back on her feet, grabbing the table for support. As she did claws on her fingers grew and dug into the wood. Startled by that sudden change she let ho causing her to fall forwards on her knees. "Mother Miranda.....help," she whimpered, scared.

Another wave of searing agony went through the youngest Dimitrescu's spine sharper than before, and she let out a scream as a long sleek tail grow out of her. From out of her back, two new appendages surfaced. They quickly acquired mass and pushed out, ripping through her dress. Strong webbing formed between the digits and segments, forming large, white bat-like wings.

After a moment Daniela rose to her feet. She stood nearly a foot taller than before. Her mind was clouded with rage and  an insatiable hunger for blood. Her glowing red eyes were fixed on the only food source in the room....Miranda. She bared her newly grown fangs at the other woman as she slowly moved closer, her wings knocking down various tools and jars in the process.

holy-mothxr

"Don't move." Placing a hand on Daniela's shoulder, Miranda makes sure the other woman was not about act abruptly and risk ruining everything. "You are fine, but we are not done yet. There is only one more step and then I'll need you to go under again to avoid the unpleasantness of stitching you back up." ignoring the impact her words might have on the youngest, Miranda goes off to retrieve a container filled with a special fluid with the label 'dragon' scribbled over it. The fluid contained cells from Alcina and given the close bonds between the daughters and the Lord, Miranda hypothesizes that the cadou will accept it more readily than if she chose something else. Selecting a syringe to fill with the sample, Miranda hovers over the still twitching cadou and with precision pierces its moldy flesh and injects the contents successfully. She watches dispassionately as it squirms in response before finally calming down.

So far she had ignored the fact that her head was cut open but the mention of stiches reminded her and with that a wave of nausea struck at her. The redhead swallowed hard but did as Miranda ordered and held completely still, only looking up into the priestess' eyes for some reassurance.

Daniela's eyes went wide at the sight of the long needle and she winced in pain as the needle entered. At first she didn't feel much after the injection but suddenly a blast of pain shot through her head all the way to her spine and down to her legs, her eyes wild and suddenly afraid. The redhead felt a strange tightness in her chest. Her body twitched and spasmed, almost in a same matter as when she initally got her cadou and her body refused to do everything but bond with the parasite. Then just before she passed out her eyes turned red for mere seconds.

[sysig]

I got a new prescription (Patreon)

[asleepinawell]

I don't know what it is with all the post-surgery drugs they put me on but for two days now I've been consistently having dreams that I'm playing ffxiv and every single button on my bar has been moved one spot to the left and whenever I hit one it's like surprise! it was actually a different button and the icon changes. it's mildly infuriating but mostly hilarious

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[seithr]

girl i need to get this new laptop i swear to god

[robotsafari]

i also watched the riku and terra limit cut scene and BOOOO THATS WAS SO NOTHINGBURGER AUUUGHH

[cloveprince]

.

[mestos]

i like to think ive grown and improved well enough that i can write a fic for my ships that won't retroactively make me want to delete it immediately out of sheer embarrassment but bpy oh boy is it such a painful endeavour to finish a fic.....