#‘everyone at the grocery store knows im a freak’

[horrorknife]

just got back from the grocery store and realized i had my bell on the entire time. Oops !

[fortloser]

This blog seems super fun- I cannot wait to see where this goes!

Wish you folks the best of luck with the public, and I hope y'all have a good time :]

Hallo everyone! medic here!

I'm so glad to hear you have been enjoying our posts. I was very nervous to start this account and seeing all the love and support has warmed my small German-shaped heart,tough I think the general public has a much lesser opinion of us at the moment… Scout and the other two idiots just got arrested and we had to bail them out this morning, scout said he would add his side of the story once we got back to base. There are some drawings these hooligans made at the bottom of the post.

stay healthy!

with kind regards, medic

note from medic: as usual I had to correct scouts message

Oh man, you will not BELIEVE the day I had, so I woke up and the first thing I hear is soldier screaming at me to “GET IN THE VAN MAGGOT” like good morning to you too douchebag, and before I know it im getting shoved in the bed of the truck because the other freak wanted to ride shotgun. So we get to the store and you know it goes pretty smoothly. We fill up our carts and we realize at the checkout that nobody brought the team's credit card, in a moment of silent understanding we all rush out of the store with our carts to the truck and throw in as much as we can. After that it uh,, gets a little fuzzy, the cops show up, I got a couple of swings in (they hit me in the face!), there was a chase and then we landed in jail. Nurse and Pissy Pants had to come bail us out. and to add salt to injury Nurse gave us crayons and our mugshots to draw on during the drive back. He said something about us being childish and never letting us get groceries together ever again, what a jerk!

/anyway, we just arrived back and I can hear Hardhat shouting so this is me signing off!

[jqmalikhsgib]

beauty and the freak

four

you wake up early on saturday morning due to a loud banging on your front door. you had hope someone would be home to see who it was, but as time went by you assumed everyone was either asleep or they’ve been gone.

you groaned before moving eddie’s hand off of you and getting out of bed. you looked over at your boyfriend and roll your eyes. eddie could sleep through the end of the world. you head downstairs before opening the door and immediately wanting to slam it.

there stood your bitch of a mother with some dessert you’re sure she bought from the grocery store.

“it’s too early for you to be here and bother everyone. kindly go away!”

“now is that a way to speak to a neighbor? let alone your mother? and what are you wearing? what have i told you about looking your best at all times. even when you’re asleep!”

“sorry mother! we don’t all sleep in coffins. what are you doing here?”

“i came to greet my new neighbors. is that so wrong?”

“when it’s you? absolutely! dads not here and neither is his wife.”

your mother shrugs her shoulders. she gently pushes you aside and invites herself into your home. closing the door, you turned and rolled your eyes. “oh, sure! just come right in, mother.”

your mom looks around the place and hums. “quite cute.”

“seriously, what do you want?”

“like i said, i came to visit my daughter and ex husband.”

“i don’t wanna see you!”

your mother turns around. she gently grabs your hand and shakes her head. “when’s the last time you got this done?”

“why does it matter?”

“i just want what’s best for you darling.”

you groan as you head to the kitchen, grab a cup, thanking your father for making coffee before he left. your mother follows behind you.

“why don’t you come live with me and my fiancée?”

“since when have you been engaged?”

your mother shrugs her shoulders. “he asked me two weeks ago. you’d know that if you’d bother to text your mother back!”

“who was knocking on the door? oh. hi.” steve looks at you and you shrug your shoulders.

“steven.”

steve simply ignores her. he knew she didn’t like him much because his mom married her ex husband. but that wasn’t his problem.

“ed, here?” steve asked you.

you nod your head. “he’s sleep.”

“as always! the man is a menace.”

“im sorry, ed? who is ed?”

“eddie, mom!”

“as in munson? you don’t seriously have him in your house?! you do know his dad is a criminal right?! does your father know about him being here?” she turns to steve. “does your mom?!”

both you and steve laugh. “yeah! eddie’s my best friend. of course they know!”

“how could you associate yourself with someone like that steven?!”

steve looks at you as if your mom has been living under a rock. in this town, everyone knows everybody’s business. and despite your mom being your typical overbearing, condescending, arrogant woman, she minded her own business—besides yours and your dad’s business—

you weren’t surprised she didn’t know about eddie and steve. and you weren’t surprised that she didn’t know about you and eddie. this only made you smirk.

knowing this would just piss her off and possibly get her out of your life—but knowing her this would only make her control your life even more—you take a sip of your coffee before hearing footsteps.

“morning, man!” eddie yawns. he didn’t notice your mom, yet. instead he walks over to you and smiles. “how’d you sleep, baby?” eddie wraps his arms around your waist.

“i slept amazing. love cuddling you.”

“yeah? what else you love, hmm?” eddie kisses your neck.

you gently giggle. “ed, steve’s right there.”

“oh, please! i know you two are freaks! the walls between my room and yours are pretty thin, sister.” steve nudged you.

you blush.

“um—excuse me?! what the hell is going on?”

you honestly forgot about your mother. but now you were happy she’d been here. eddie’s perfect in your eyes! no one could tell you otherwise. and you’d never use eddie, not for anything! but knowing that your mom didn’t like him made you love eddie even more—if that’s even possible—

eddie looks at you and noticed your smirk. he smirks back knowing exactly what you were thinking.

“hi, miss yln! how are you?”

your mom looks at eddie up and down as if he was trash. eddie’s use to the looks. it doesn’t bother him a bit.

though it did bother you! she couldn’t judge anyone. she’s a manipulative serial cheater!

“get your hands off my daughter!”

“mom! he’s my boyfriend. stop being rude!” you roll your eyes.

“boyfriend?! you can’t be serious, yn ymn yln?”

“i am! we’ve been dating for a year and a half. how have you not known this?!”

your mom stares at you as if you had two heads. “you barely talk to me! and you know i don’t gossip. how could you be dating this—this—”

“freak? trailer trash? criminal child? cult leader? satanist? ive heard it all misses yln. doesn’t even hurt. bottom line, im in love with your daughter. im gonna marry her someday, rather you like or not. make her a munson and have millions of munson babies! gonna take her on the road with me when my band and i make it big! gonna prove you and this hick ass town just how wrong they are. i would love if you’d accept my relationship with her, but it ain’t gonna change shit if you don’t.” eddie shrugs his shoulder and walked away. you looked at him with so much love it almost pained you.

eddie truly is the perfect man!

“yn, we need to talk about this!”

yn shrugs her shoulders. “you heard him. get in line or get the fuck out. actually, just get the fuck out!” you walked away from your mother as steve grabs and apple, smirks, and takes a bit of it.

“you told her, sissy!”

taglist:

@lov3withurgency @sunshineandwitchery @melaninjhs @baileebear @am0iur @lovesanimals0000 @pipsqueakkitten @playgurlxoxo @peachy4u2 @thepurplelovewitch

[paul-ster]

GUYS I MADE THE PONYBOY GETTING LOST IN A STORE FIC.

Except I think it’s dog-water 😭😭😭 I really hope I did the idea right. If not I’ll probably rewrite it. THIS WAS MADE IN TWENTY MINUTES DAWG 😭😭

@positively-peachy-143 @frogdisaster I hope I executed this idea correctly :3

Anyways, ENJOY!!!

The brisk cool air of a commercial store hit Ponyboy- hard. He stood there, ten-year-old him, excited to be shopping with the whole gang. It was rare for them to all be together, especially with their new addition- Dallas Winston.

Ponyboy stood near Darry, following him as the gang weaves through the store. Mrs.Curtis had sent them on a shopping trip that the whole gang ended up following. Darry was the only one taking it serious though.

Still, he could t help but join along in the gangs tricks. Stealing random stuff and putting things where they didn’t belong. Ponyboy tried to join in, but mostly hung back with Johnny. Johnny stood quietly, watching alongside Ponyboy.

Mrs.Curtis needed a lot of things. She just about needed the whole entire store. But, with extra boys to take care of, she just tried to get Darry to buy what he could. While Darry would never tell her, he had started putting some money into the grocery bill.

As the gang tried not to get kicked out, Ponyboy couldnt help but look at some cigarettes. He had seen the entire gang smoking them, especially Dally. While Dally started giving him a cigarette or two, Ponyboy wanted his own pack. Ponyboy looked at the cigarettes, trying to think about which one he’d want.

He saw Johnny looking back to him and then to the gang. Johnny assumed Ponyboy was going to follow, so, he followed the rest of the gang. Ponyboy started getting lost in his head, almost forgetting where he was.

It wasn’t until he didn’t see anyone else that he started to panic. He tried to look around, trying to see if he could find the gang near him. Part of him was already panicking, while another tried to stay level-headed. Ponyboy continued to walk through the aisles, suddenly unsure if he should go back to where he had been. But, his memory failed him as he stepped into the clothing aisle.

A mother and her children passed by. Ponyboy wanted to ask her for help, to tell her that he was lost. Yet, Ponyboy couldn’t as he started to get lost in the clothes aisle. The clothes seemed to blend in, making it harder for him to know where the exit was.

It was like a maze to him. While he had a good build for a ten year old, he wasn’t as tall as he wanted to be. His heart pounded through his ears as he tried to rush through clothes. After not getting anywhere, he decided to go under the racks.

But to no avail, he was still lost…

So, he did hat he could. He pursed his lips together, and blew. A low note came out at first, before ending it with a high note.

:3

Darry looked around, laughing as he threw in another pack of spaghetti into the cart. It was already halfway full and Darry was getting ready to wrap everything up. “We all set?” He asked the gang. There were some nods but Darry saw something. Johnny was in another aisle, whistling low before ending it with a high note. Darry’s eyes looked to Johnny as Johnny continued.

“What’s wrong Johnnycakes?” Dallas asked. Johnny looked around the aisles for a moment then to the gang. “Pony’s gone.”

Darry and Soda felt their hearts drop. Sodapop looked to Darry, “Where did we last see ‘im?” Everyone looked to Johnny, waiting for his answer.

“Last I saw him, he was looking at some cigarettes,” Johnny told them. Darry nodded, trying his hardest not to panic. Too bad that memo didn’t get to Soda.

“The cigarettes? Okay- okay im going there,” Sodapop said before running to the cigarettes. Steve followed him, “We’ll find ya later.” Darry nodded, looking to the rest of his gang.

Dallas was unphased, while Two-Bit and Johnny were freaking out. “Let’s split up, he’ll be easier to find that way. Johnny come with me and Two-Bit go with Dally,” Darry said with certainty. Johnny nodded and quickly got to Darry. Dally rolled his eyes but still followed Two-Bit to wherever they were going to look at.

To anyone who hadn’t known what was happening, they would’ve thought that the boys had gone insane. They were whistling, low and deep before ending it with a high note. Workers gave them glared as they continued to do so.

Two-Bit and Dally flipped some off as they continued to look around. All the while, Darry was panicking.

“What am I going to do???” He asked himself as he whistled again. The notes were off though. Johnnys whistle was almost pitch perfect.

Still, all Darry could do was hope that the gangs whistle was enough for Ponyboy. After all, he was able to hear Dallys whistle from where he was. Sodapop tried to whistle loud too, but his shaky breathing prevented it.

“Cmon man breathe. Think of it as a little break for now,” Steve tried to joke. Sodapop tried taking some air, breathing it heavily. Then he started coughing as he heard someone else whistle.

Sodapop perked his head up as another whistle came. The whistle was just about the whistle that Ponyboy did.

Two-Bit and Dally found them, “Ya heard it too?” Two-Bit asked. Sodapop nodded, before whistling again. “We thought it was you,” Steve told them. They all gave each other a look before starting to go where they heard the whistle.

Johnny and Darry also heard the whistle. Granted, they were nearer than anyone else in the gang. After a couple of more bird calls- they found Ponyboy.

“Where is he?” Sodapop asked as they settled in one part of the clothing aisle, the last place where they heard the call. It had been the loudest, but they weren’t able to see Ponyboy yet. Darry waited for the whistle to come. Then, through a rack of clothes, a low note came out before hitting a high note. Sodapop pushed the clothes aside, seeing as Ponyboy was crying in the clothes.

He looked up at Soda, before pulling him into a hug. “Easy there kiddo, we’re here,” Soda said, smiling a bit. He looked to Darry who had just felt like a weight was off of his shoulders.

“Why didn’t ya just stay put?” Steve asked Ponyboy incredulously. Two-Bit gave him a light shove as they started to walk to the registers. Some people gave them were glances as Sodapop continued to hold Ponyboy.

“Is that them? The bird-callers?” A customer asked. Two-Bit laughed as the gang left the store. “Hear that? Maybe we oughta catch some birds.”

Ponyboy smiled sheepishly as he sat in the car. Darry gave him a look and Johnny gave him a relieved smile.

“Y’all’s whistles sound like dying birds,” Ponyboy admitted. “Shut it before we tell your mom that you got lost,” Steve retorted.

:3

[kylejsugarman]

happy birthday to the babyest baby that every babyed!! how do they celebrate baby’s first birthday together as a family? how does present-day baby feel about being 20? how does au squared fam celebrate baby’s third birthday once theyre disappeared to alaska? how does present-day au squared baby feel about being 16?

anon hitting ALL of the possible universes and scenarios in one question like beating me with clubs and sticks 😭 thank u for the questions and saving me from having to write an annoying, unprovoked post!! ill try to keep these brief so im not putting a gd novelization on everyone's dashes

their first birthday as a "family" is baby's seventh, where jesse's only known demi for like 5 months and doesnt know what the rules are for something like this, but hes saved from any awkward questions by demi calling him like (royal advisor going door to door to every person in the kingdom to invite them to the ball) "baby would like to see u if then if that's ok." of course its ok, but now he's gotta get her a present!! hes still getting the hang of carving and woodworking in a more professional, advanced sense and decides to practice his new skills by carving her a little dolphin that looks like the stuffed one she's always carrying around. theres no birthday party like the kind he remembers from childhood ("baby's not very. Into that kind of thing," demi says charitably later when he asks her about it. which Is true), just him and demi and mason having dinner at ihop before going back home for some gifts and a "the spongebob movie" viewing party. baby doesnt make much of a fuss but shes Very excited to open her presents and when she opens jesse's gift, she gets more excited and animated than hes ever seen her before as she describes each of the dolphin's fins to him and then (following a gentle "what do u say?" from demi) thanks him with a little hug of his arm. because of her joyful reaction, he carves her a sea creature for every birthday going forward and is now giving her a tiny wood barracuda for her collection as he and demi make the long drive up to fairbanks to visit baby at school for her twentieth birthday!! they're going to spend the weekend with her :) and though they dont say anything significant about it, they're both really happy that when they go back to their hotel this evening, baby is going to be spending time with some of her new college friends to celebrate :') shes kind of ambivalent as always about "turning" twenty and still doesnt really feel like an adult or anything close, but she does feel more comfortable and content about moving forward this birthday more so than any other beforehand. twenty feels like a big number and shes not as scared or lonely or anxious as she thought she'd be

god, au squared fam.....Au Squared Fam. this is literally the first time jesse's able to actually physically be there with baby on her birthday other than like. the Day of her birth. after missing the first two due to rehab and Being A Slave. he almost doesnt know what to do because its really just the three of them, they've made some tentative acquaintances here in alaska since arriving, but neither of them have families anymore and baby's fully three and thus doesnt Know anyone, so its almost like. what do u do?? he rarely lets baby out of his sight anyway, how's her birthday going to be any different?? demi convinces him to throw a little party in their kitchen to at least set the Tone and even though its just some streamers and balloons and a little grocery store bakery cake with some questionably accurate sesame street characters piped onto it, it really does make the occasion feel festive. they both feel like things might be ok :) baby doesnt really comprehend the Significance and freaks the fuck out when they light the "3" shaped candle (thats fire!! in the house!!), but she has a good time and is stoked to see elmo on a cake and plays "bap the air-filled balloon around the living room" with her parents for a solid 2 hours. its all so beautifully mundane, so normal and safe and quiet. jesse knows that baby doesnt really understand what birthdays mean and that he wasnt there for her first two (only that he Wasnt There in general for a while), but he can't help feeling periodically guilty and overwhelmed and just holding onto her so nothing can ever separate them again. and present day au squared baby is having a sweet sixteen!! just a tiny one (and no car, the dyspraxia still reigns in this universe) in their backyard, which is decorated, and baby and her friends are all dressed up so they can take fun pictures. demi sets out tons of flowers and jesse gets a baby shower cake that says "congratulations on the baby!" for the Bit, which baby honestly loves. she knows why hes so All In about her birthday and being a good dad in general, so she takes a second to tell him that she loves him and always will no matter what :')

[csaw]

Meet the weird cousin no one talks about at the family reunion:

Vigore! (in my head it's pronounced like Igor) (He's my OC/Sona for oxy's dunmeshi modern au)

Vampire freak, he likes getting in everyone's pants. and he's very open about it, don't sleep with him if you can't handle everyone he knows finding out lmfao

Random things about him under the cut:

He is 5'8, not very tall...

He doesn't know what romantic love is, so.. he calls everything that isn't sexual love platonic (guess who's projecting!)

He has a friend group (aside from his coworkers) and he makes out with all of them otl and has been in bed with all of them at least once... but they're just friends. Friends that have sex with each other but still, friends.

I think u could put him under the polyam umbrella, but he genuinely doesn't know what the difference between romantic and platonic love is so ... he's really confusing. He'll take u out on a few dates and introduce you to his friend group and even his family and then finally you guys have sex and then u have to ask... What are we ? 🥺😿 And he'll say smth like "we're besties :3 ur like a brother/sister/sibling to me... I love you so much." BRO YOU STUCK UR DICK IN ME WDYM IM LIKE A SIBLING TO YOU?!?!?! and then he makes out with you again- rinse + repeat. endless cycle until you cut him off or try to explain u want him romantically. Then he's like. Okay? What does that mean??

He's a vampire, I would say he's pure-blooded but he's also super young for an immortal, he's like. 27 ish. And he still works in a shitty min wage job. Plus a secret hobby that he uses to make side cash..

His mom is 200+ years old and his dad is like in his 180's. But they both look like they're in their late 30's or very early 40's

His favorite drink is O- low sugar blood with lemon and cucumber.. he likes it hot, he hates drinking cold blood (most vampires do tbh)

He got high once in highschool with his friends and ended up having a psychotic episode, so. He doesn't take drugs other than his prescription anti-psychotics now!! and his sleep meds. nocturnalism be damned...

He visited Chilchuck's store ONCE with his dad and the only reason he keeps coming back is to hit on Chil. Chil hates (?) this, Vi buys absolutely nothing and just follows him around pretending to be interested until he can try his luck again. His dad and chil are acquaintances with each other (divorced fathers get along) but .. fucking... Vi is sabotaging that relationship just by being a nuisance. He wants that hot halfling dilf to pound him out of frustration. Chilchuck hasn't asked him to stop yet... So Vi takes that as a sign that he can keep showing up! He's waiting for Chilchuck to break so he can get that hate sex he's been dreaming about since he met the guy

He acts pretty normal at work, and tries to keep a decent relationship with his coworkers (Laios + Kabru)

He is thirsting after Namari, she goes to the store he works at for groceries and.. he gets heart palpitations when she talks to him. Luckily his blood is rotten bc he's dead, so he doesn't blush! But if he was alive, you know his pasty ass would be bright fucking red. Namari is the only person he gets this nervous speaking to, tbh. He's usually really chill, or unabashedly freaky on main. This is the only time he considers thinking of a definition for romantic love, because. It feels different from platonic love. (Or what he calls platonic love at least) It's also very much a sexual attraction thing, but! There's something more?!

He's vers btw, and he low-key wants to fuck Kabru ... He has a thing for pretty twinks and dirty butches, sigh.

He wears open flannels, low cut tank tops, sometimes a band or graphic tee, and ripped jeans. He owns 2 sneaker pairs, one of the pairs is one size too big and the other is half a size too small, and then he has his combat boots that r actually the correct size but take too long to put on so he only wears them occasionally. He also wears crosses out of spite since he's a vampire and the world's biggest sinner.

He has a blade tattoo bc he thinks blade is hot and he had a crush on Deacon Frost from the first movie. He's so fucking gay oh my god

He has way too many accessories. And clothes in general tbh. But he's prepared for any occasion....

He has the vibes and personality of a stoner but bro doesn't even drink alcohol. He's too scared to do anything like that. Poser tbh

Hrmmm... Ask me questions about him idk

Oh he doesn't sweat and he wears mostly full body clothing in the day time, just to keep the sun away. Yes he gets crispy in the sun... Not a metaphor he starts to burn up and his skin turns to ashes. Vampire business.

He doesn't like telling people that he's a vampire bc of stigma around it, but he doesn't try to hide it either? It's something most people figure out pretty early on without him having to explain it lol. Also he doesn't like being sexualized bc of his vampirism, he wants you to sexualize him because he's a stinky hairy freak that likes getting pegged by older women. Not because of some stereotype u made up in ur head about him.

That's all I know for now...

[bitegore]

(9 People You Want To Get To Know Better, tagged by @dovesndecay!)

I'll taaaaag... uhh... ok tbh i have a headache and i cant remember anyone's urls, tap yourself in if you want i'm curious about everyone XD

Three ships:

Vortex/Wildrider (Transformers) - freak4freak fastbrain4fastbrain "i'll try anything once" freaks should hold hands and cross cables about it, thanks for coming to my TEDtalk Louis/Armand/Lestat (Interview with the Vampire) - I think they should have a really angry hatesex threesome about how they literally cannot stop fucking Louis over and then I think they should all try to fucking kill each other. For my amusement. Motormster/Drag Strip (Transformers) - still not over that one. they hate each other and they are sooo bad for each other </3 and i think that's very sexy of them and they should try to kill each other

First ship: I think it was Anidala (Anakin/Padme Amidala). I've always loved a tragedy. First ship I ever wrote for was Church/Tex from Red Vs Blue though. I wanted Tex sooooo bad, I had such a crush on her.

Last song: Had Goodbye Sober Day by Mr Bungle, ПЁСИК by SQWOZ BAB, and Cobra by Megan Thee Stallion actively playing as I write this ✌️last song I deliberately looked up and put on was Not Like us by Kendrick Lamar though

Last TV show: Interview with a Vampire (2022). Good fucking show. God damn.

Currently Watching: nothing - I'm not really a big show-watcher.

Currently Reading: Does Sexual Selection Influence Ornamentation of Hemipenes in Old World Snakes? by Konstantin Andonov, Nikolay Natchev, Yurii V. Kornilev, and Nikolay Tzankov (this is a research paper about snake genitalia)

Currently Eating: scrambled eggs with leftover squash and carmelized onions from last night, interspersed with handfuls of salt. i have a salt headache. i need more salt or im going to die.

Currently Craving: I want dairy treats so fucking bad right now. im out of milk and i havent got ice cream and i want both soooo fucking bad. i should go to the grocery store but i dont want to becaue my head hurts.

[br1ghtestlight]

Have you done Mr.Ambrose headcannon yet?

If not then...headcannons?

🏠 <- this is my home, I live in your asks

NO I HAVE NOT EVEN THOUGH HE IS MY FAVORITE GAY FREAK <\3

he is queer Definitely gay but he's flexible about women in the right situation?? borderline delusional and thinks every straight guy wants him SO BAD (nobody wants him except Me) also he's nonbinary and uses he/she/they pronouns but he doesnt really care he's ambivalent to gender he doesnt give a fuck what u call him

he is a drag queen and does performances at gay bars on the weekends and gets STUPID drunk after he performs. he is shockingly good at doing makeup and costuming. in a better world he wouldve done costumes and wardrobe in hollywood movies

he majored in english when he was in college bcuz he wanted to be either a screenwriter for hollywood movies (fun fact his voice actor directed and acted in a gay romcom and i think thats the kind of thing ambrose would pretend he's too cool for but secretly enjoy) or a novelist (he still writes in his free time) but neither of those worked out as actual jobs so he settled for elementary school librarian. even though he hates kids so much and isnt technically qualified but they were desperate when they hired him

he doesn't have a relationship with anyone in his family like if he died tomorrow everything he owned would go to his dog. his parents were just terrible shitty people and he doesn't get along with them at all refuses to attend family events if they're there. he doesn't talk to his extended family either but he's happier this way!!!! maybe he didnt have a great childhood its not like he would ever talk about it with anyone except for occasionally his roommate when they're up late and he gets very drunk

i also feel like he's either an only child or a younger brother who was always compared to his older sibling but no way his ass is an older sibling SORRY

his roommate is a lesbian and he's gay which is why they live together. no chance of catching feelings (this was agreed upon when they moved in together)

without a doubt he is a functioning alcoholic mostly bcuz he refuses to deal with any of his mental health problems or talk about them with anyone. its going great for him dw

sometimes he likes dressing up in feminine clothing and makeup just for fun and bcuz it makes him feel confident and its a different look than normal. he usually stays home and its just around his roommate but if he feels up to it he WILL be the sluttiest gay at the grocery store or dmv

his full name is william ambrose but he prefers people call him by his last name even outside of a school setting. i think william would be a traditional family name from his great great etc grandfather and he's like ughh im not going to carry the LEGACY of some random dead guy who doesn't even give a shit about me who do you think i am

he is definitely the type to watch shitty reality tv like the bachelor or love island and complain about how stupid everyone is being but also he LOVES the drama and watches every episode. he auditioned once for the gay version of the bachelor but they rejected him and he's still pissy about that if you bring it up

he claims he knows which students at wagstaff are going to grow up to be queer bcuz of his gaydar and he mostly says it to the other teachers in the teachers lounge as a joke but also he is slightly protective of them and won't take bullying from ANYONE if he hears them talking shit there will be an anonymous complaint to the principal. they are his little gay ducklings (gene would be in this category although he's slightly too annoying for ambrose to like him)

[narryffdreaming]

istg why parents start acting like kids as soon as we get older??? this morning i told them we needed to check what we had at home and what not so we could go to the grocery store asap. yknow, before things get worse outside and everyone starts freaking out at the same time. then my dad was like "idk i didn't think about that yet", so i said "i know that's why im saying we should do it now!!" so i went through a list of basic things we need and also things we like to have, like milk coffee bread rice pasta water candles toilet paper blahblahblah and my mom kept saying "yes yes yes yes yes". so we decided we didn't need to go to the grocery store.

well now it's 7pm it's dark outside it's raining half of the streets are blocked and my parents just came back home saying that they had to leave the car at the grocery store bc it wouldn't start and that they tried to call me to pick them up but they couldnt (of course!! since phones arent working!! which i told them earlier!!!!!) and so they walked in the rain for 7 blocks. then when they told me all this i just went ????? why did you even go to the grocery store in the first place?????? and my dad was like "to get toilet paper and bread 😃" and i just......... istg i can't. like WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY they do these things whyyyyyyyy couldn't they pay attention was i was trying to be responsible????? honestly i just cant it drives me insane

[capesandshapes]

reasons minnesota is the best us state

vote minnesota here, because im right and you know it

minnesota is the longest running democratic state. true blue. these colors don't run. this is probably because we want everyone to know its freaking cold here and staying blue every time we're on a map gets the point across

has the actual worst football team and everyone knows it but no one cares

home to the mayo clinic, 3m, target, and general mills who made what... that's right, count chocula, kids.

hot dish is a cool word and basically like depressioncore cooking

if you live in the south part of the state the hormel plant is slowly killing you to make canned spiced ham which is cool

one time they just elected a wrestler to office and like no one said anything

the state bird is the common loon who minnesotans have turned into indescribable monsters that attack children, cars, and trucks much like the geese that also terrorize half of the state

it is a major activity in at least one minnesotan town to tie a dollar store sled to a truck via rope and do donuts at extraordinary speeds with high schoolers loaded on top of each other in the sled until someone has to go to the er (that town is my town (no one has died (yet)))

Minnesota has the Mall of America which smells like that because there's apparently no heat. The sheer power of sweaty gross tourists helps the mall face the winter. baller.

if you like grocery bags with handles then man do i have good news for you

Diversity win! Gay icon Judy Garland is from Minnesota

Diversity Loss! Straight Icon Bob Dylan is from Minnesota

Minnesota has an amusement park named Valleyfair, which used to host the Berenstain Bears who famously smelled like b.o. and the broken dreams of children. This was good for tourism but bad for children. Now they have peanuts characters who cant dance but do smell better.

Minnesota has the world's second most mid renaissance faire, but you can bring your dog to it and I think that's something you need to know.

the average minnesotan eats 19 gallons of mayonnaise a year. this isn't a real fact but it sounds like it could be.

the minnesota state fair debuted butter on a stick. this was widely regarded to be 'an idea' and 'something that happened'

the twin cities are very flammable. burn them down.

trespassing is a very common hobby with many minnesotans breaking into private or abandoned property because there's not much else to do. this is because there is no jack in the box drive-thru in the state

Lutheran sushi is a dish that was invented by god and probably whispered to a lady named Edna in the middle of the night. It is made of pickles, ham, and cream cheese. Legend says it was the front runner for the official secret state food, bravely competing against tatertop hotdish.

Every minnesotan town is the birthplace of paul bunyan. this is because he was very big. the only place that is not the birth place of paul bunyan is eden prarie which 90% of minnesota inexplicably hates

Minnesotans love complaining about the snow and how cold it gets there, unless you mention that you feel a chill elsewhere, then all minnesotans become the picture of winter survival and mock you for disliking the cold.

in summary, minnesota is the best, screw the rest.

[say-al0e]

How's your tooth? What were your fav. Things in Germany(beside the chocolate)? The least(beside the airport)? I need to know everything!

Doesn’t hurt so bad today! I’ve got a sinus infection and that makes my mouth hurt (no idea why, but it always does 😭) so I���m just holding on. I have to call the dentist tomorrow to see if they’re taking new patients (and if they can see me soon-ish, but maybe not until I feel better physically and can breathe out of my nose again) so wish me luck.

I’m listing all this below a read more since it got a little long 😂 I started a whole list and will post it eventually.

Favorite things:

public transportation! We don’t have that here where I live so it was super nice getting to just hop on a train and not having to drive. It was also pretty cheap and I never had any issues with it running late.

The grocery stores are so cheap. I went into one and was so shocked at how insanely cheap groceries were! I also really like the recycling system. I just recycled my bottles at my hotel but it was super cool (and even adding on the pfand, stuff was still insanely cheap).

McDonald’s curly fries. Stupid but so good.

No one really bothers you in shops? I appreciate help when I need it but there was no one constantly being like ‘are you okay? Do you need help?’ It was nice to be left alone.

Public bathroom stall doors. The ones here are insanely creepy, i now realize. Do not like the space. Love the full coverage doors in Europe.

Black currant. It’s not a flavor here but it should be. 11/10 love

The duvet situation. Having like no top sheet and just a duvet felt weird but I grew to love it.

Capri Sun with bubbles.

Chocolate.

All the museums!

Soccer (football) culture. Coolest experience ever was seeing a game, riding the train with fans, and just being there for it all.

Least favorite: (keep in mind a lot of this is because I grew up in a small southern town and have those ‘southern manners’ instilled in everything I do. A lot of these are probably normal in parts of the US and might just be a city thing. Not judging, just a little surprised and kinda thrown off.)

People blow their noses ridiculously loud in public. I get it, it’s normal there. Still. A massive culture shock to me. Not judging, just not a fan.

Dog culture. So many of them were off leash and I have no fear of dogs but a random dog, off leash, on a busy street? Freaked me out. Did not like. Also off leash on the train and that too freaked me out. (Almost all of them were well behaved but it only takes one wrong move for something to happen. I guess I’m just paranoid.)

Self checkout at grocery stores. We bag as we go along. I got yelled at in German for not knowing that you ring it up and then bag when you’re done, even though the instructions in English clearly did not specify that. Totally my fault, but still embarrassing. Should’ve just gone to a regular cashier.

Smoking. Everyone was smoking everywhere. At the entrance of buildings, right by the train, outside restaurants; everyone had a cigarette in hand. Smoking is so rare in public (at least where I live) that it blew my mind. And it smells so bad. Least favorite thing by a mile.

No one says excuse me. If they need to brush by you, they’ll just nudge you out of the way. I thought it was just a one off but it happened so many times. They didn’t speak at all, it wasn’t just me not understanding them saying excuse me, promise. I get manners are different but that threw me off. Wasn’t expecting it but I’ll know for next time.

Every chip is paprika flavored. It’s fine but it’s kinda bland? Maybe I just didn’t get the right brand but it was just meh. Lays was the only brand with any other flavor I saw.

Everything is closed on Sunday’s. (I’m from the middle of nowhere. Grew up in a town where that’s the norm. But Berlin is a massive city so it’s just odd to me that everything is closed. Maybe for work/life balance? I dunno. Im sure there’s a reason. Just not fun when you’re a tourist and still need food on a day everything is closed.)

Overall, everything was great. A lot of my ‘complaints’ are just culture shock things that I didn’t think to expect would be different. And, again, they’re not bad. Likely just ‘big city’ things I would experience in a large city here. Just a few small surprises as an American on her first trip to Germany.

[winters-hysteria]

basically tony gives reader something that takes away their control over their body and makes them follow orders (experiment, it was consensual and reader offered). then they see a package that says "so good it'll make you want to dance on the roof" so they do. on of one of the tallest buildings in the city. so basically they're up there dancing and everyone's below them freaking out

"here you go, kid." tony handed bruce and i the drink with the "control juice" mixed in. he was testing it to see if he could actually control someone. i took it from him and gulped it down, shivering at the cold. bruce sipped his cautiously, wondering if it really worked.

"yeesh, next time don't make it quite so icy, tin man."

"speak for yourself kid, ice is nice." he paused, thinking. "hey! ice, nice, that rhymes!" he earned a snort from thor at the stupid dad joke, and turned to me grinning. "how ya feel?"

i rolled my eyes at him, then looked at my arms. "i don't feel any different than i did two minutes ago." i sniffled, looking at him. "i'm gonna go to the store and grab some costanzo rolls since-- *AHEM* --BUCKY didn't get any even though it was written on his arm."

"(Y/N)! i'm sorry! jesus!" the ex-assassin gave me a playful half-lidded glare, licking his lips at me.

"iM sOrRy, JeSuS!!" i retorted, hiding the soft blush that dusted my cheeks. "i'll be right back. steve, rhodey, you got babysitting duty." i snorted, hearing tony's noise of distress and steve's noise of protest. "i'll be back in twenty."

"yeah yeah, just hurry." i grabbed my sweatshirt (it was really bucky's, but i steal everyone's stuff if it fits me.) i threw on my cons and opened the door, heading out into the brightly lit, bustling city. "how can a place be so busy at night?" i wondered to myself.

i found the grocery store pretty easily. it wasn't too far away from avengers tower, and it was a small store, comfortable and safe. i quickly made my way to the rolls, picking up two bags. i turned to browse the other aisles for perhaps some chips, or a different snack, when it hit me. and it hit me hard.

all the sudden, i was on the inside looking out. i couldn't control my own hands, dropping the bags of rolls i held in each. i mentally panicked, but it didn't seem to do anything to my body. i moved through the aisles, looking for my next command, when i saw a box with a slogan that said "so good it'll make you want to dance on the roof!"

that seemed like a good idea.

back at the compound, steve started to get worried. "why are they taking so long? it's been almost an hour."

"not sure cap, but i think they'll be okay. my kid after all. knows how to fight for themselves." tony was tinkering with a little robot he'd made to wake (Y/N) up in the morning because it was so hard to.

"you know, i think your 'control juice' works, tony. bruce has been sitting here for a while, right after i told him to. that's not normal." nat's voice floated in from the other room, striking anxiety into tony's heart. "rhodey! turn on the news! (Y/N) is apparently on it."

rhodey grabbed the remote and turned the living room tv on, then tossed the remote to nat. "there you go."

on the screen was a live feed of a person dancing on a roof. a roof of a really tall building, and they were dancing right at the edge of it. "tonight we bring you the avenger's (Y/N), who seems to have lost their mind." the news reporter's voice faded out as tony focused in on the way they were dancing. "...we are trying to bring them down. more at 11."

"holy shit." steve whispered.

every single person in the room except for bruce looked at him and said "language!"

"oh my god, you guys are never gonna let that go." tony shook his head in response, and looked around the room. "we gotta go get my kid."

(your pov)

i was panicking. my body moved like water, landing in all the right steps, but i held so much fear that i would fall. i could see red and blue lights flashing beneath me, their spotlight trained on me, but i couldn't stop moving. i wished that someone would come save me. i pulled myself into a backbend, feeling my spine pop every time i moved further. i cried out in mental pain, my body jolting. i immediately went limp, realising the effects of the juice were wearing off, but i could end up falling if i didn't just let it happen.

then something slammed into me a lot harder than i would've liked and i screamed. i heard sam's voice in my ear though, telling me it's just him, and felt relief flood through my veins. "holy shit sam, i can't move my legs."

"i know! the control juice works!" he yelled, finally landing on the ground outside the compound. i fell to my knees, right in front of bucky. he laughed.

"didn't know ya wanted it that bad, doll."

i groaned at him, rolling my eyes and taking sam's outstretched hand to help myself up. "uh-huh, you wish."

"i do, but we can all dream, huh."

"BUCKY!" i shrieked, laughing. "you can't just say that!"

"alright doll. but let's get you inside, your dad's having a coronary worrying about you."

"okay!" i replied. we went back inside. i was safe, and i could control my body again. now i just had to watch out for my dad's drinks.

[antacidsnake]

Having trouble sleeping but I checked the cdc page and I’m quite literally at moderate to high risk at all times even when wearing a mask bc work isn’t well ventilated people are shouting and breathing heavy often, people come in sick all the time both workers and shoppers, and IM the only one wearing a mask 90% of the time.

We tend to have upwards of 160 visitors a day. People who come into the store. People who breathe, cough, and ask to speak to the manager. Oh but tell me again how it’s unrealistic and unbelievable that I’d get covid from work?

Zeke is literally some well off bitch boy who pretends to care about the pandemic in that he makes everyone else freak out about it and he’ll wear a mask once a month on his grocery run but he doesn’t have to worry about it in his day to day. So clearly germs are just one hundred percent repelled by a mask and that’s that so I must be lying about it.

I know I’m not the brightest bulb, like I’m definitely not gonna be shmoozing with suits into giving me money like bitch tits but the way he ignores science just to suit his illogical pursuit to blame me is pissing me off

[godblessgamora]

2022 year in review

thanks for tagging me @quillsmora ❤️

number of stories posted on AO3: 9

word count for this year: 129, 594. it’s actually insane how much i wrote in under six months

fandoms i wrote for: guardians of the galaxy + antman

pairings: starmora + scotthope

stories with the most:

kudos: songs that make sense (which makes me super happy because i love this fic so much)

bookmarks: songs that make sense (that’s my most popular work in every sense, so i’m not surprised at all)

comment threads: make my wish come true (i attribute that to the fact i asked zoe and claire to leave comments on ao3 rather than on twt lol)

word count: make my wish come true (the story was supposed to be like 20k lol)

works I’m most proud of:

— make my wish come true: i think the story is a lot of fun. i loved wiring all human au but also i just think the characters are are really funny, sweet and well written. i like the jokes i put in the fic and i love their development

— songs that make sense: okay sooo. this one is kind of special because it’s my head canon that gamora carries a lot of guilt. then again, it’s not really a head canon, is it? the movies talk about her guilt, but i don’t think it was mentioned in depth. and because of my headcanon i genuinely believe she feels really guilty for pushing peter to go to ego (and she DID push him, she’s the reason he went), and the fic focuses on her guilt. it’s a fresh take (i haven’t read anything similar on ao3), and it’s a very important perspective (#tome). plus the fic was inspired by a line from castle, and we all know how much i love the show. this fic is a tiny connection between my two favorite fictional worlds <3

— this one means forever: it’s unpublished yet (i’m still writing it) but… i’m so proud. it’s a very special, very emotional (well, hopefully) one shot. if i manage to make the ending as emotional as it is in my head, i will be beyond happy. also the fic is my connection to lucifer, and it’s another tv show that holds a special place in my heart. i can’t wait for everyone to read this story, though im scared to post the link on twitter so i might not even tell anyone, i don’t know.

works i’m least proud of:

— rewrite the stars: just something about it gives me the ick, i can’t even explain it

— road trip fic i’m working on now: just something is so wrong. i’m still wiring and haven’t started editing, but the first draft is terrible. i think i would have to ask friends to read the first few chapters before i post to make sure it’s even readable

share or describe a favorite review you received: i always screenshot reviews that are anything but generic “i loved the chapter, thank you”. shan’s review to the first chapter of make my wish come true is very special + review by sharkinterviewee to wicked games.

it’s not really a review but zoe’s tweet “kate could write a starmora grocery store fic and ill be invested”. it’s one of my lock screens and i always look at it when im feeling down

a time when writing was really, really hard: i post only when the story is fully written, so if it’s hard then i will just stop writing until i feel better. but posting make my wish come true was so freaking hard, and it was one of the reasons why i left twitter. christmas + anything gotg related messed up with my head a lot, and having a christmas starmora fic was even worse. i took a break from anything gotg and genuinely contemplated deleting make my wish come true. december wasn’t fun </3

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: starmora smut. i haven’t posted the fic yet but i was really surprised when i finished the fic

a favorite except of your writing: ohhh that’s a fun question. i have a few, but i’m too lazy to post it now, so ill post screenshots on twitter instead 😁

how did you grow as a writer this year: well i’m pretty sure i make way less grammatical and punctuation mistakes than i did when i started lol. ty to people who don’t mind those and are understanding of my english as a second language situation <3

how do you hope to grow next year: it’s silly but i want to write a 100k words story. i hope to accomplish this goal

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: two things, honestly: support on twt and actual books. i got back into reading and definitely stole some tropes, some situations, and some lines. but also gotg hive. i’m beyond grateful to claire for her support with make my wish come true, as i truly believe she’s the biggest supporter of the fic and she always made me smile with her comments and excitement. also zoe because i still have screenshots from that one evening we talked about the fic, and her support meant so much (again, posting the fic was really hard). and shan, bff ur “seated” tweets made me smile so much.

anything from your real life show up in your writing: i wrote an entire fic about my favorite croissant place so…

any projects you’re looking forward to starting in the new year: i REALLY want to write the spy au (set in space). i hope i can do it! but for now my main focus is finishing the road trip story, this one means forever, and writing couple outtakes for make my wish come true and i want crazy

tag writers: i don’t check tumblr at all so i don’t know if you’ve done it already but if you haven’t and want to go ahead @enigma731

[crayondinos]

okay so i just kinda want to word vomit/rant a little and the only person who would be okay with that is like SUPER busy rn now so i don't want to bother them

i've been volunteering for the parks system the next county over and it has been awesome! i haven't told any of the people about the jw stuff and my mom hasn't joined me so they all just know me as an awkward homeschooled kid! i'm terrified of mom or dad telling them about being jehovah's witnesses and ruining what i have going. this is my only connection to the outside world since none of my job applications have gone anywhere and if i lose it...

speaking of the job stuff, i got told that the parks director might want to hire me!!!! most of the jobs available want you to have a drivers license and i'm waiting to get mine till i turn 18 (only 4 months till then btw) so we don't have to pay for classes cause its like 500 dollars.

i have a part tonight. i'm sick of this. i wasted several hours of my life working on it. the worst thing is, well the two worst things ig are 1: i am really proud of how good it is and 2: i'm looking forward to maybe being told that i did good. the last talk i did the chairman said i did 'incredible'. he said it from the stage and i really liked it. i hate that i liked it.

i hate all i have to do to keep up the appearance of being a good jehovah's witness. i hate doing service three to four times a week and doing my bible reading -actually i kind of enjoy the studying but i hate that i have to do it to avoid suspicion- and i hate having to be "neutral" and i hate having to pretend to agree with everyone's political views despite the fact that we are supposed to stay neutral! LIKE NO MR. BROTHER MAN I DONT GIVE A SINGULAR SHIT ABOUT WHOS IN OFFICE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IM NOT FREAKING SUPPOSED TO!!!!!!! i hate that i seem to be the only one acting the way jehovah's witnesses are supposed to when i don't even believe this stuff.

there was a bible study, we'll call them R, who started coming to the congregation my family goes to and mom got really attached to them. then R blocked the person studying with them, my mom and numerous other people. I never got their phone number. R stopped their study. my mom cried alot about it. i had to pretend to be sad but in reality i was so freaking happy. they had just graduated high school and they had short cut purple hair and lots of ear piercings and they did marching band. they gave such gay vibes but i have no idea if they are. we ran into R at the grocery store after the meeting a few weeks ago and they were polite as was mom. mom avoided saying anything about the meeting to make us seem more approachable i guess? thats how she explained it later to me in the car. mom waited until we had walked far enough away and then hugged me, hard, when she pulled away her eyes were wet and i felt like a piece of shit for not caring about what had upset her.

i have a car, my aunt moved across the world to be a need-greater and she gave it to me. i'm paying her back by selling some stuff for her.

i don't like myself. i inherited both my parents anger. i feels like the anger twisted together to create a person whose muscle fibers and bones are made solely from hatred, hatred for others, hatred for myself, hatred for life and for death. hatred for almost everything. i don't want to be shunned by my family. i love my family just as much as i hate them. they are everything to me but i can't live in this awful religion forever. i can't serve a god i despise for my whole life. i can't tell people they will see the people they love alive again when i don't believe it. i can't pretend to agree with the hatred this organization is practically weaved with. im so fucking scared. i'm scared of my family hating me, of my mom, dad, little sisters and little brother not talking to me again. i know my dads not going to live for more then a decade. he has so many health problems. i hate that at his funeral i most likely will not be able to talk to anyone, i know that i will be disfellowshipped once i leave. i'm queer and planning on committing so much "serious sin" and i'm not going to be sorry, not one fucking bit.

i would kms if i wasn't such a coward

[recents]

i often think that when i go out in public im obviously and immediately a freak and everyone knows im mentally ill, but recent developments have caused me to begin wondering if it’s literally *just* the autistic involuntary vocalizing thoughts and daydreams with gestures thing (very visibly Talking To Yourself In Public) that has caused me so much trauma about this, or specifically having been policed, ostracized, unpersoned, or punished for that behavior so much. i usually dont notice im doing it until its too late, but im able to mask that some days, and people whove never seen me do this actually treat me like an adult and an equal— they dont talk down to me, they dont look scared or apprehensive or suspicious, they dont try to make me leave, they dont try to escape the situation as soon as possible.

it’s at the point where i actually pathologically cannot let anyone see me enter daydream mode voluntarily, including my partner. we have a one bedroom and if i’m going to enter daydream mode to brainstorm for a project or just to relax, i go in the other room and the door gets closed.

in my experience, with everyone ive ever met, everyone from bosses and teachers to therapists and doctors to the person checking me out at the convenience store, people whove never seen me talk to myself tend to treat me like a human and an equal, professionally, academically, and socially, but as soon as someone sees me talk to myself, i get unpersoned.

all i can really say is, for all i have been policed for my behavior, thank god i’m white or i could be dead for it. thank god i’m “high-functioning” and have a job and can take care of myself, which has allowed me to get out of situations that could have become dangerous. i find it really interesting that there are very specific narrow mentally ill/neurodivergent behaviors that even very compassionate people immediately target and start treating you like you might need crisis mental health care for, like loudly talking to yourself. hey hey i’m not in psychosis, i don’t even get psychosis, i’m just vocalizing my thoughts and vocally stimming, i can’t help it but i don’t need help i’m literally just trying to get groceries. i don’t need the mobile crisis unit; look i work at a bank and everything, see how hygienic i am, please put your phone away!