#‘She is one of countless bi/straight radfems’

[mithliya]

i didnt argue about whether het-partnered women could take radical action. i wasnt even discussing whether they could be radical feminists on this post until you derailed it. the point of my post is that its not misogyny to think separatism is integral to radical feminism and its definitely not misogyny to insult men.

i dont call myself a radfem bc i respect that its a term for actual activists who take radical action. unfortunately, many people dont hold themselves to the same standards, and now people who dont hold such standards are trying to belittle my statements using that. i go to protests (including radfem protests), i speak up on my beliefs, i follow the ideology quite heavily, i educate myself on the theory, i donate to womens charities and causes, im working towards a career focused on helping traumatised women psychologically, etc.. but i think a radical feminist does more. i think radical feminists live the ideology and put more into furthering the cause bc theyre an activist group, not a fun identity to take up online after you realised gender ideology is sexist and hold some feminist beliefs. meanwhile you are desperate to make it more lenient of a term. and youre so desperate to argue that that you came onto my post and derailed it to make it about your desire to be deemed a radical feminist. i dont know how many times i should say i dont care and this is not the topic of my post for you to stop derailing it. you could address the actual point of my post if you take issue with it, but so far all of you have simply twisted my words and started talking around the subject. the way youre foaming at the mouth to try to frame women you disagree with as misogynists is tired and you even tried that up there despite me not saying anything misogynistic to you.

i keep seeing these posts like “i am TIRED of the misogyny against straight women from radfems” and as i brace myself to see something horrible and shocking, they end up elaborating with:

“this lesbian said i shouldn’t use the radical feminism tag for my post about details of heterosexual sex ive had”

“this woman said dating a man is not radical feminist of me.”

“this lesbian said separatism is good. meaning she wants to PUNISH me for being a woman”

“this woman is so misogynistic for saying men influence the women in their lives into having less feminist ideals”

“calling my boyfriend jakey or nigel is misogynistic”

how has radblr devolved into arguing that even insulting men is now misogynistic? this is embarrassing ladies!

[misshorrorotaku]

Hey. I know you were already told this but as a former TRA the reason so many of us find radical feminism is because it's an actual safe space for LGB and GNC ppl whereas Trans activism is filled with racism, sexism, and homophobia. As a GNC lesbian, your activism aims to eradicate me and anyone like me. Sorry that the truth hurts and I hope someday youll look past your hatred of women and become a decent ally to marginalized people.

“Safe space.”

That’s why lesbians get shit on for finding women sexually appealing right? To the point where even redkatherinee, a radfem artist who radfems spent years defending after she drew trans people being boiled alive and baked into pies (as well as countless pieces of art aimed at triggering dysphoria, more often aimed at trans men than trans women) got accused of fetishizing lesbians cuz she drew an anime woman naked with visible cellulite.

That’s why radfems talk about killing, mutilating and otherwise harming all men all the time, only bothering to specify they don’t mean gay men (and black men and blah blah *insert non-acceptable targets here*) when a gay man speaks up about it, and say that all men are predatory (again, only specifying “straight men” when a gay man speaks up about it) and tell gay men they wish more of them had died during the Aids crisis since most gay men aren’t joining them in their hatred of trans people, right?

Oh, and let’s not forget bisexuals. Cuz we all know that the lesbians supremacists TOTALLY care about bi women. Except when they date men. Or don’t agree with them. Or find men sexy at all. Or even find women sexy at all. Then they’re cockworshipping handmaidens. Pick-me’s. Fetishists. They can “just choose to not date men,” or they don’t have radfems’ sympathy and are complicit in their own abuse.

And GNC people! Don’t even get me fucking started. If it’s not failing to give a fuck that gnc people feel a large brunt of their anti-trans bullshit (arguably more than trans people do, since they outnumber us), it’s pushing for shit that makes it so now little girls need to have strangers check that have the right genitalia before they can play school sports. It’s mocking trans people’s appearances using features that gnc people more often than not share. It’s acting like having wide forehead, larger shoulders, a hairy body, a square jaw, being a bit taller than average, etc. ALL MEAN THE PERSON IN QUESTION HAS TO BE A MAN.

Radical feminism and especially radical feminists are the furthest thing from a safe space the LGB and GNC folk have. They’re just so good at lying to those of you who tow the line that you can’t see that. Step out of line, disagree with them, and they’ll either treat you like shit or start using the manipulation tactics they spread around their spaces to ensure you “peak” again.

The trans community is like any community. We’re flawed. You will always find racists, sexists, homophobes among groups and especially their allies. It’s true for the LGB and GNC folk, it’s true for black people, it’s true for muslims, the jewish, EVERYONE, but for some reason it’s only trans folk progressives are comfortable turning against for the existence of those people. Hell, you yourself brought forth one of the justifications for that. “You’re trying to eradicate me and anyone like me.” We ain’t trying to do that at all. And even if the most extreme of us are, it’s a completely impossible fucking task. XD The threat would be non-existent as it could NEVER be achieved. Contrary to what terfs believe, we’re not some all-powerful monolithic group backed by billionaires.

Once you get your head out of your ass, and see the truth, just like countless ex-terfs before you, I hope you’re one of the lucky ones who gets out before you feel the brunt of their abuse.

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[female-malice]

you don't have to answer this if this is considered offensive, but i joined this site (this year) thinking i could ally with radfems but then i saw a bunch of them being racist, one of them called me a racial slur on twitter (a radfem user who said it was ok bc when i called her out on her racism, she said "it's misogynistic to not support women"), and the others on here are deeply homophobic. why are so many of them refusing to acknowledge accountability??

Because you're talking about random people using the internet.

I don't subscribe to identity politics. Whether someone calls themselves a radfem, a communist, a socialist, a witch, or a BLM activist, it doesn't mean anything.

I come across countless people who call themselves LGBTQ+ activists, yet they're blatantly proudly homophobic. Just because someone identifies as something doesn't mean they're an official spokesperson for what they wrote in their bio. So whoever I see online, whatever they call themselves, they're just an online person to me.

Overt online racism/homophobia/misogyny looks like people posting hate-speech memes or calling people slurs. Just like the twitter interaction you mentioned. When you come across someone who's overtly racist or homophobic online, you're not going to be able to change them. These people won't take accountability. They may be capable of change when confronted with real life situations that require it. But online, they can curate their internet use to confirm their bigoted world view. So they don't feel they're in the wrong.

Passive online racism/homophobia/misogyny is when someone overlooks experiences and perspectives they're unfamiliar with. When you come across someone who's passively racist or homophobic online, they probably don't realize it. And then it can be constructive to point out a different perspective they didn't think of.

There's a big difference between these two online behaviors and the appropriate response to each. The first one has nothing to do with you. It's simply a weirdo online playing a game with themselves. The second one can be an opportunity for an interesting and positive discussion.

But you probably shouldn't be using twitter to talk to anyone about anything. It's the worst place to have a discussion. Leave twitter to the pros. The only thing it's good for is following journalists, scientists, and public figures. You can use it to keep up with professional feminist writers like Claire Heuchen or Jane Clare Jones. But don't bother with the random people arguing in the replies to their posts. Twitter is a terrible site for talking with random people.

I think tumblr is a better site for talking with anonymous random people. And there are several anonymous writers like sespursongles who've contributed incredible feminist essays through tumblr.

You broadly characterized women who discuss feminism on tumblr as "deeply homophobic." In my experience, I never see examples of overt homophobia when women discuss feminism here. I do see some passive homophobia from straight women. But half the women who post here are not straight. This is a site with a lot of lesbian and bi women. We regularly share our perspectives with straight women who are unfamiliar with them. So homophobia is a regular topic of discussion. Does that mean there's more homophobia on tumblr than anywhere else? Or does it just mean more gay people freely discuss homophobia on tumblr than anywhere else?

[womenfrommars]

Do you have like a list of straight (or bi but they talk abt male attraction some) radfem/radfem leaning blogs or books? I’ve been kind of feeling torn up about the separatism discourse. I know that’s a little silly since it’s just tumblr drama. Maybe I’m a little sensitive bc I’ve been cooped up inside for too long, not that I have a strong social circle anyway. I’ve tried looking for feminist groups in my area but they’re nonexistent and starting one myself is not currently something I can do. The internet is the only place I’ve found any kind of feminist community but it sucks and people are really cruel to everyone else for no good reason. I’m thinking about just deleting everything and giving up. I hope this isn’t annoying or anything, idk what to do I feel lost.

I don't have a specific list of books or people but I know @probablyaterf can maybe get you into a rad-leaning Discord server where male attraction isn't treated like a taboo. Shoot her a DM!

I agree online spaces can be extremely unhealthy and I think the radfem community on Tumblr is no exception. It might be good for your mental well-being to either take a break from it or lessen the amount of time you spend on it. Focus on building relationships in your real life, with feminists or not, and you'll notice an increase in your happiness. I understand not wanting to give up on feminism but also please remember to not give up on yourself. You deserve a support system and if Tumblr doesn't provide that for you, maybe look elsewhere

After my first blog was deleted, I took it as a sign to spend less time on here, and I've been noticing some benefits to it. I focus more on interpersonal relationships and I am generally in a better mood (with the exception of today since a few things went wrong, but what can you do)

There are countless studies that show a correlation between social media and poor mental health. Social media can also be very addictive. If you still wish to engage in feminism, there are always documentaries. Some are even free on YouTube. I personally also read ''Pornland'' by Gail Dines, and she is a radical feminist who's married to a man and they have a son together as well. Tumblr wants you to think that's inherently anti-feminist, but it's not. The sheer irony is that Dines has done more for the feminist movement than most people on radblr ever will

There is a reason why a lot of women end up leaving radical feminism and it's not because they become conservative or neo-Nazis. It's because the radfem community pushes women away, and some people on here are arguably radicalised themselves (in the traditional sense of the term). People on here advocate for anti-male sex selective abortion which is exactly the stereotype of a feminist created by the media. SCUM Manifesto might as well be satire of radblr

[terventenko]

i thought you'd be a decent radfem by reading your bio but you're just another one of those terfs that mainly loves chatting shit about any and all trans people instead of like... actually educating people or trying to help them or sharing information. really sad. there are more and more of y'all and honestly no wonder people are "abandoning" the lgbt community cause why the hell would any decent quiet gay or bi person want to be in the same space as you? i'm so tired of y'all goddamn

please do me a huge favor and read all of this before you claim that i'm not trying to educate, help, or share information.

if you took a look at my most used tags, you'd see that this blog is primarily for criticizing queer theory and archiving ways it has harmed women- often, in the case of transwomen in female spaces, PHYSICALLY harmed them. transactivists say "that never happens!" and this blog has countless examples of the fact that yes, it does happen.

if you scrolled down to interactions i've had with libfems and transactivists, you'd see that i do try to educate and have open discussions with you. i understand where you're coming from because i believed what you believe in for years. i try to show you my point of view, share my experiences, and come to some sort of mutual understanding- or at the very least, civility. but you're never receptive. all transactivists ever have to offer to the conversation are insults, circular reasoning, the denial of sex-based oppression, and threats. just the other day someone threatened to put me in the hospital for trying to explain radfem theory and how modern trans activism harms women.

i've tried educating. you don't want to hear it.

radfems are immediately noplatformed. that's why none of you actually understand what radical feminism is or what we're fighting for. you don't allow yourselves to engage with us and listen. you scream "terf!" at any woman who criticizes liberal feminism or queer theory. it's exhausting.

why are women the only oppressed class who aren't allowed to make jokes about their oppressors? gay people are free to say they hate straight people. poc are free to say they hate white people. as a disabled woman, i make jokes about able-bodied and neurotypical people all the time! but when a female says she hates males, she's immediately deemed an evil, irredeemable bitch who has blood on her hands. modern transactivism is just the same old patriarchy, misogyny, and male entitlement with a coat of nail polish.

and while you're here- i do not have to be "one of the decent ones" for you. do you not hear yourself? you sound like every other entitled asshole who thinks marginalized people are only worthy of respect if they're "one of the good ones". i don't advocate for the rights of women on the basis of their sex for some rando on the internet to feel better. this is bigger than you. get over yourself.

[acciotomriddle]

and what about people who are anti-jkr because of her piss-poor writing of historical native american societies, treatment of lgbtq+ people, and radfem leanings?

Yes, she could have done a better job at researching Native American lore, but honestly, she gets way more hate for it than the countless others who have done the same, or had very stereotypical characters, or worse, written Native Americans as mindless savages. And you can hate her research without hating her 

She doesn’t treat LGBT people badly. She was writing HP in the 90s where she wasn’t even allowed to have her own female name on the book cover because publishers were afraid it would drive away people, do you really think she could have got away with adding LGBT people explicitly in her books back then? And her modern books (the Robert Galbraith ones) are incredibly diverse and inclusive

Also, she didn’t say “so and so character is gay” but she also didn’t say “so and so character is straight”. Hell, all the main characters could be bi as far as we know because she never said otherwise. If she’d made a point of saying nobody but Dumbledore is gay, that would be different, but she never said that

She is also definitely not a radfem. I don’t know where people get these ideas. She is (validly) concerned about cis men pretending to be trans women to invade women only spaces, which isn’t about trans women at all, it’s about cis men. 

Following the crowd of haters only skews beliefs, you actually have to read things yourself to know the truth

[nix-that-rad-lass]

Yeaaaaaaaa no. Yes there are ngs that claim to be lesbian but are bi.... but I doubt that to be all that common. Ngs and goldstars both deserve their own spaces within the lesbian community. There is a difference between saying “this is a space for gold stars to talk about their experiences and enjoy each other’s company” and “non gold stars are all secretly bisexual and appropriating lesbianism”

One is actually defending and enjoying your space and the other is ‘invalidating’ and erasing anyone with different experiences and excluding them even though they are part of the same demographic.

I could also point out how this whole “only gold stars are lesbian” stuff is rude to actual bisexuals as well as women and girls who went through abuse at the hands of men only to be told that that makes them ‘tainted’ and ‘unable to be lesbian’.

You puritans are out here saying that anyone who didn’t make your same choices regarding life can’t possibly share the same biological reality as you.

You say ‘we are all pressured to date men’ - and we are! Except everyone responds to pressure differently, everyone is faced with different challenges and threats, and just because someone didn’t or couldn’t face their own situation like you did yours doesn’t make them not lesbian.

You say ‘no lesbian would willingly touch a man in that way’- yet there are countless examples of women forcing themselves through their pain and disgust and fear to try and, frankly, correctively rape themselves.

How is this all that different from people who say “well she consented to sex, that means she consented to kink/bdsm/std/pregnancy”? Because you say “well she went through with it and so all it is is regret!”- as if sex with a man wasn’t a coerced option? As if it wasn’t out of self hate and environmental cruelty?

To add, for you to say that any woman who has ever touched a man (which, let’s face it, y’all just consider ‘tainted’) to be Unable To Be Gay, or means they are secretly bihet or straight- how is that not cruel to actual bisexuals? To act like any woman who has touched a man is impure or tainted, and like being bi is something shameful?

And you can say you don’t believe all this, but most of the gold star fanatics I’ve come across do. Most of them are fucking puritans mirroring psycho religious freaks. Most of them abandon all sense of female solidarity in order to feel superior to other women who ever were with a man.

And to sum up: fuck you. I’m exhausted and tired and I know everyone else is too. Be a gold star and have fun, but stop being such a dickhead to everyone who isn’t. And sure as hell don’t call yourself a radfem if you’re turning around and abusing or harassing any woman who disagrees or who has had a different life.

Why do nongoldstars feel immune from showing empathy to gold stars for going through unspeakable homophobia? I'm tired of being called lucky. I was miserable and punished while you pretended to be straight for approval. It wasn't luck that I never forced myself to be with a man. Thanks for removing not only all the homophobia lesbians endure for being lesbians but also the autonomy we have to choose that homophobia over men and straight privilege.

How is me stating my experience and making a place for ngs lesbians to y’all about there’s, AWAY FROM GOLDSTARS, oppressing and harming you? How is me asking others experiences separately not showing empathy? How is acknowledging the ngs experience erasing goldstars?

I never ever said goldstars have it easier, or don’t have trouble, etc. I said that ngs get a lot of unwarranted hate from goldstars and I wanted ngs to share their experiences so goldstars would understand us. The idea was to talk about our experiences so others understand and can relate. Ya know, solidarity? But y’all for some reason are obsessed with thinking we are oppressing and abusing and erasing you and refuse to just.... accept that not everyone has the same experience?

[mithliya]

ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server). 

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish 

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!  

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr. 

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in  the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server. 

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above 

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something 

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia: 

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic. 

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present 

 “straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic. 

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady): 

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently. 

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.  

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person. 

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’. 

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently? 

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces 

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar.