#‘I'm going to do what I want and you're going to accept it. you can keep doing whatever it is you convince yourself is right though’
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ꪆ୧ ── HUSH-HUSH ┊ KEEP IT A SECRET ﹑ JJK ⤿ starring: g. satoru ◟ choso ◟ sukuna ◟ f. toji.
꒰ love simulation ﹢ headcanon-type · most to least likely to keep your relationship a secret!
𖧷 · love, ‘su: i have nothing to say here but I Need To have this here for layout purposes. it Bothers me if its not there.
most likely 𓂃 can hold themselves back. choso and somewhat toji.
( pda = public display affection. )
listen, CHOSO can keep a secret, but leave it up to him and he would've made it known you two were dating. he's only keeping it a secret because you said to. when it comes to you, everyone knows he never questions your words.
in terms of pda . . . he doesn't do it — actually, he does, but only you know the true meaning to his touch. it's a regular thing to have an arm wrapped around your friend's shoulder, standing close to them, blah blah blah. you get the point: he keeps it entirely friendly.
this doesn't mean he's not clinging onto you the moment your peers aren't around! once they're out of his view, choso will not waste time to satisfy the itch he's been feeling. either he buries his head in your shoulder, whining about not being able to touch you at least, or his hands are intertwined with yours.
in mr. TOJI FUSHIGURO's case, your words are law. he usually sits back and let you do as you please — obviously he'd go along with whatever scheme you planned. he doesn't mind keeping to himself at all; he's not one for much pda anyway.
there are times where he gets touchy, though. he tries to keep it at a minimum, but don't let him be near you during a dinner-out with friends or anything of the sort. if he's seated next to you, trust, his hand will find comfort sitting on your thigh, occasionally squeezing here and there.
sometimes — really rare times — his friends suspect him. they don't reach the “are you dating y/n?” conclusion, but do they reach the “you got a thing for y/n or what?” one. it's all due to the fact that he softens his language with you. he doesn't curse, tone lowers an octave, and has a slight smile. three things his friends will never experience. he doesn't deny it, but he also doesn't confirm; he simply shrugs at their questions and never satisfies their curiosity.
least likely 𓂃 sorry, he's a bit selfish. satoru and sukuna.
SATORU . . . yeah, no. there's no way he would've succeeded. that's like asking him to not breathe for a day. when you brought up the idea of keeping the relationship a secret, he tried talking you out of it. why are you denying publicizing his affection for you? you must hate him, or are you hiding the fact that you're taken? satoru's dramatic, and his favourite literary device is hyperbole. he will exaggerate.
at first he tries his best to keep it a secret, but old habits die hard. calling you names clearly reserved for someone's romantic partner, arm snaked around your waist all the time, glaring at anyone who tries to flirt, giving you quick kisses — yeah, no way.
but, satoru does apologize for failing to obey! if you're mad at him for outing the relationship, he'll spend days upon days begging for forgiveness in creative ways til you accept his apology.
SUKUNA does not give a fuck. he's lived long enough to not care about secrecy. it's cute that you want to keep it on the low, but he prefers letting it known. pair that with him disliking physical contact with anyone else and you've got yourself the perfect recipe for disaster.
whenever he's not with you and someone approaches him — no matter the reason — he's quick to ring up his favourite sentence: yeah no, i'm taken. either that, or he's holding his palm up to reject them. he does not wish to engage with strangers. even his own friends struggle to get him out.
when he's with you, however, he's clinging to you like a magnet. game night with friends/family? he's pulling you to lean on him, doesn't fetch drinks for anyone but you, gets revenge for you if you lost the game, demands that they “go easy on y/n.” the list goes on. it took everyone zero time to put the clues together and figure out sukuna and you are a thing. it's entirely out-of-character for him to be nice in the first place.
#. ae-generated: jujutsu kaisen#nanami isnt here but he's *THE* least likely. that man is showing off the ring u got him saying its his wedding band#whole time its js a matching ring set u bought on a whim#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk headcanons#jjk fluff#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru headcanons#gojo satoru fluff#gojo x you#choso x you#choso x reader#choso x y/n#choso fluff#choso headcanons#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#toji headcanons#toji x reader#toji fushiguro fluff#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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BLURB ABOUT MAX BECOMING WORLD CHAMPION 😩
i wrote this in like 20 minutes it probably sucks but MAX IS THE WORLD CHAMPION AGAIN AND I LOVE HIM SM
Your hands are shaking as you watch the final laps unfold on the screens. Your fingers find the small "33" necklace he gave you years ago – before the switch to number 1, before the championships. Some habits die hard.
When Max finally crosses the line, the explosion of noise is deafening. GP's voice breaks with emotion: "MAX VERSTAPPEN, YOU ARE THE 2024 FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPION!"
"Fucking yes!" Max shouts over the radio. "Thank you so much, guys. This one… this one was the hardest yet. I love you all!"
You're crying and laughing simultaneously as his car approaches.Max practically vaults over the barrier, nearly tripping over his own feet in excitement. "We fucking did it!" he yells, lifting you up and spinning you around. His race suit is soaked with sweat, but you couldn't care less.
"I never doubted you for a second," you say against his neck.
He pulls back, grinning. "Liar. You were freaking out after Singapore."
"Shut up and kiss me, World Champion."
He does, and you can feel him smiling against your lips. The photographers are having a field day, but this moment is yours.
After the media obligations, you find yourself in the back of a car with Max heading to the team party. The Vegas lights streak past the windows as he holds your hand, thumb absently tracing circles on your skin.
"You know what's funny?" he says quietly, the adrenaline from earlier settling into a softer contentment. "After Abu Dhabi 2021, I thought nothing could top that feeling. But this…" he brings your hand to his lips, "this one feels different."
"Because you had to fight harder for it?"
"Maybe. Or maybe because I know exactly what I want to do next." There's something in his voice you can't quite read, but before you can ask, the car pulls up to the Bellagio.
The party is in full swing when you arrive. The entire Red Bull garage has taken over one of the hotel's exclusive clubs, and someone (probably Daniel) has convinced the DJ to play "Super Max" for the third time. Max is immediately swept into the celebration, accepting drinks from every direction.
"To the four-time world champion!" someone raises a toast, and the room erupts in cheers.
You watch from nearby as Max does shots with his mechanics, his face flushed with happiness and alcohol. He keeps looking over at you every few minutes, that soft smile you love so much playing on his lips.
"He's been fidgety all day," Lando mentions, appearing beside you with two glasses of champagne. "More than usual race nerves."
Before you can respond, Max is pulling you onto the makeshift dance floor, attempting to spin you around despite his questionable coordination at this point.
"You're drunk," you laugh as he nearly trips over his own feet.
"I'm happy," he corrects, pressing his forehead against yours. "Dance with me?"
"Since when do you dance?"
"Since I'm four-time world champion and I can do whatever I want."
You're both laughing when he suddenly becomes serious, glancing around the room before taking your hand. "Come with me for a minute?"
He leads you away from the noise, out onto the terrace where the famous Bellagio fountains are creating their water symphony against the night sky. The air is cool for Vegas, and Max shrugs off his jacket to drape it over your shoulders.
"Max?"
He takes a deep breath, and you notice his hands are shaking slightly. Max Verstappen, who can handle a Formula 1 car at 320mph, is trembling.
"I had this whole thing planned," he starts, running a hand through his hair. "Was going to wait until we were back home, do it properly. But standing here now…" He reaches into his pocket, and your heart stops. "I've been carrying this around since Monaco. GP's been calling me an idiot for waiting so long, and he's probably right."
"Max…" your voice catches as he drops to one knee.
"You've been there through everything – the good races, the bad ones, all the championships. You understand this crazy life, and you make it better just by being in it. I love you more than racing, which if you know me, is saying something."
You're both laughing through tears now as he opens the small blue box, revealing a stunning ring that catches the light from the fountains.
"Will you marry me?"
"Yes," you manage to say through your tears. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
His hands are shaking as he slides the ring onto your finger, and when he stands, you throw your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. Behind you, you hear the terrace doors burst open and cheering erupts – the entire team had apparently been watching through the glass.
"Finally!" Daniel shouts, leading the charge with champagne bottles. "I've been guarding that ring since Monaco!"
Max keeps you close as everyone surrounds you with congratulations, his arm firmly around your waist.
"I love you," Max whispers in your ear as the celebration continues around you. "Even if I needed four world championships to get the courage to ask."
You look up at him, at this man who can be so fierce on track but so gentle with you, and smile. "I love you too, World Champion. Always have, always will."
The party continues well into the night, but now it's a double celebration. You keep catching glimpses of your ring under the lights, still hardly believing this is real. Max hasn't let go of your hand, and every time someone offers congratulations, his proud smile grows bigger.
"You know what this means?" Charles says with a smirk, raising his glass. "We might actually have a chance next season while he's distracted with wedding planning."
"Keep dreaming, Leclerc," Max laughs, pulling you closer. "I'm just getting started."
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfiction#max verstappen fic#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#las vegas gp 2024#f1 x reader#f1 fanfiction#f1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#max verstappen blurb#harrysfolklore#mv1 x reader#mv1 fanfiction#formula 1 imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen writing#f1 fic
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Make yandere femboy pls nya (≧▽≦)
Pweaseeeeeee
yandere! femboy roommate who has a massive crush on you but you don't seem to understand.
"hey i really REALLY would like to eat something, YOU preferrably."
"yeah I'm cooking us dinner just wait dawg"
he doesn't know whether you're playing it safe or just stupid. this guy is pretty sure his signals are straightforward and direct after all.
"do you want to go out to the park together?"
"lol as friends right?"
like??? he's pretty sure he's not speaking another language. do you not get it? are you dumb? or... are you intentionally ignoring the signs? after all... you are also talking to other people. you can't possibly not know that he's trying to get your heart.
"where are you going?"
"on a date, see ya."
oh that won't do. what do you mean you're seeing other people? people that aren't him? how could you do this? he's your roommate! he lives with you and clearly knows you better than any of these other shitheads! so why aren't you choosing him?!
no, he'll make you see that you need him just as much as he needs you. no one can love you like he can. i mean, who was the person who took care of you when you were sick? who was the one you came crying to after you saw a video of a baby panda falling down? who was the one you went to for all your problems?
it was him.
him.
not that random guy on the street, not that cute guy at the coffee shop, and definitely not your classmate. no, it was him. your cute roommate who likes dressing in feminine attire. the cute pretty boy living with you who wears skirts, dresses, and all things pretty. your very own roommate who knows more than you'd like others to know.
"hey, i like you and really see you as more than a friend-"
"yeah cause we're roomies!"
ah, he knows what you're trying to do. you're trying to play hard to get! that's it! there's no way you'd actually get with someone else right?
"lol so meet my new boyfriend..."
"😦"
okay, that's it.
he's more than willing to take drastic measures to ensure that you're his. it doesn't matter if you're a bit upset or confused right now, he'll help you realise your true feelings. your true love for him. because that's what a good roomie does, right? they help you when you need it.
and he's the ultimate roomate. so much so that he's certain he'll be your boyfriend by the end of it all.
all yours to do what you want. just accept him and everything will be alright.
#suiana's sinners#yandere#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere concepts#yandere femboy#yandere femboy x reader#gn reader
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𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy
Samantha was right. Violet knew Dr. Parrish, she'd seen her after the "window incident," and she had given her a lot of tips to handle her panic attacks. But Dr. Heartland's words had left a deep mark on Violet's heart. She could still hear them sometimes, in the back of her head. "What if she doesn't believe me?" she asked, "what if she thinks I'm delusional? That I belong in a hospital?"
"Dr. Parrish is aware of the paranormal, you know that," gently reminded her Samantha, which was again true, "she will believe you, and she'll never think you're delusional." Besides, hospitals could be good, helpful places. Not like the ward. But Samantha knew better than to say that right now. "She has helped you before, and she can help you again. You're a very brave girl, Violet. But it's ok to need help once in a while."
Her father's plea tugged at Violet's chest. Would it help him, if she went? She didn't want him to worry about her. And if he asked her to do it for him... then she just couldn't refuse. "Alright, I- I'll go talk to Dr. Parrish," she finally accepted, looking down at her bowl. It still made all the hair on the back of her neck stand up. But she'd do it. For her dad.
Besides, Dr. Parrish wasn't Dr. Heartland. Dr. Heartland was in prison, now. He couldn't hurt her. He couldn't say horrible things to her. And yet, Violet still felt the uncontrollable urge to get on her feet and run as far away as possible. Instead, she took another bite of soup and swallowed it -it felt like ash in her mouth.
'Killian' had done much worse that shoot fellow agents in the leg but Violet didn't need to know about those incidents in the moment. Part of him had not even let them cross his mind as he thought more about agents having episodes instead, he never blamed them when they did but he would also make sure he and the other agents present would get home if he had to. Unaware that she no longer intended to become an agent, Theo was mindful not to interrupt her processing of what he had said.
He held no qualms against Samantha shooting him if she had to either, though he knew she would do as much as she could to avoid doing that, to those that knew him at least there was an easy way to get him to back off. It was the agents that didn't know him that were the problem if he snapped and his paranoia prevented him from telling them the very simple means of scaring him off.
Theo was very sure that Ophir had been the source of his blood phobia and the onset of his more obvious OCD but he did suspect that the ward had a heavy hand in some of his other compulsions or obsessions. He still only took one utensil at a time out of a drawer.
Grateful that Samantha had remembered Violet's reluctance to talk to her therapist about what she'd been through, he nodded along with her insistence and winced a little with Violet's mumble. He could hardly say anything and he still didn't have the mind to argue it in the moment but luckily as ever, Samantha had it in hand. "Please speak to her, Violet. For me?" He asked softly while tucking his hands into the blanket and keeping it tight over himself, much like he had done with Mauve when they initially went on the hunt for the Star Vampire.
He turned to Samantha after a moment, granting Violet some space and time to collect her thoughts and hopefully agree with them. He offered Samantha a small thankful smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he continued to battle with the memories but he was lucid enough to be thankful for her help.
#&(killian beneventi)#violet (there's no happy endings)#multipleoccupancy#delta green verse#read at your own discretion
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The Fart Room
When your gym crush invited you to a party he was throwing that evening you were ecstatic. You weren't even able toplay it cool, instead eagerly accepting.
He smiled at your enthusiasm and told you to be there for 19:00, and gave you his address.
Not only were you going to get to spend time with the guy you would secretly check out, but he said it was going to be attended by other guys from the gym so you figured it'd be a good chance to befriend them. Maybe get some tips on how they got in such greatshape.
*
You rocked up on time, you thought of being fashionably late after seeming too eager earlier. Butdidn't want to risk looking rude,
He opened the door with a smile when he saw itwas you
"Great you're here, come on in"
You entered his home, trying to make friendlyconversation as you kicked off your shoes. Listeningout you couldn't hear any music or any chatter.
"Am I the first to arrive?" It'd be a bit awkward, but at least you could meet each person as they came.
"Yeh, needed to get you in position before myguests arrived".
You paused, confused. "I'm sorry, what do you mean get me in position...and you mean 'other'guests?""
"What? No, mate. This is for my mates at the gym, you know, real builders. Not little guys like you. I mean other than you perving on me we have like no interaction. I invited you here to do us a service."
The amount of revelation stunned you. The admission he knew you oggled him, on top of the insults.
"What service?"
"Here let me show you".
He opened the door to a cupboard under the stairs,and gestured for you to take a look. Leaning in you could see that inside was a large cut out space. Big enough to stand on the end nearest the door, and on the other end, space to sit/kneel. What was more concerning was on the low end there was what looked to be a collar chained to the wall.
It was at this moment you were very aware of the muscular man stood behind you. Blocking your exit.A man you knew nothing about and willingly had entered his home.
"See we get together a lot and we learned early that when you get a lot of gym bros together there's a rather unpleasant smely issue. You know what it's like with all that protein. Wrecks havock on our guts and the farts are toxic. You can only hold them in for so long before it becomes uncomfortable. So for everyone to be able to party in comfort, but not stink out the place, we came up with a solution. The Fart Room".
Using his imposing size he started to push you into the cupboard.
We get some eager little guy from the gym, invite them round and put them in here. As the night goes on people need to use this room more and more.Y'know, the build up of protein shakes, broccoli and chicken diets and the beers at the party. They come in, let rip, and that nights recruit sniffs it all up".
By now you're fully in the room, being slowly pushed further back. You had to start crouching to avoid the ceiling.
"That's sick! Just go outside".
He rolled his eyes, annoyed at you wasting time. It's cold outside, can't keep opening doors to fart, everyone would freeze. Come the summer, we're all out there and don't want the wind blowing our wind back at us. This solution works all year round"
"Then just fart in here without a victim!" At this point your head smacked into the ceiling, the pain forcing you to drop down to your knees, where he loomed over you.
"Sorry, can't. The smell builds up and by the end we stink when we leave having marinated in it, and the gas escapes when you open the door. That's where you come in. You'll breathe it all up. It's better if you take it right from the source, to avoid it lingering. Best you do a good job from the start as well; as we get more drunk, we get a bit more aggressive with making sure we don't smell it; and will force your face in our cracks. He leaned down, reaching past you and picked up the collar.
"Sometimes people arent willing or try to escape. That's where this comes in". He held the collar to your face. "Will you need it? Or are you one of those fags that get off on this?"
"Please, l just want to go home".
"I don't care. Look, alone I can overpower you and chain you up. If you make me do that, l'l tell each guy to not go easy on you, and they 'll be rough. We're talking aggressively roided up blokes only too happy to let off some steam. Once the lock goes on you'll be at their mercy. So I would suggest you choose this". With that he unbuckled the collar and without protest put it tight around your neck.
"That's a good little fart filter. Now let's practice before the party starts".
He stands up, turns around, and lowers his shorts revealing his large muscular cheeks. Immediately you're hit with a sour pungent smell. Clearly if he did shower after the gym that day, he skipped cleaning his ass. Gently pivoting his hips his ass jutted out, inches from your face. Inviting you to come closer. You leaned in and as you felt his warm skin you were hit by the first fart.
BBBBBMMMMFFFF
It was quick, but loud and deep. The smell was as bad as he'd warned. You could smell the veggies he'd been eating. The surprise and stink made you instinctively pull away. Causing you to hit your head again in the tight space you were crouched in.
"Best get used to it, or if you keep flinching like that you'll leave here with brain damage. Though then again, maybe wouldn't be a bad thing, hit your head enough maybe you'll get amnesia and this can become a permanent set up. Would faggy like that?" He laughed as he wriggled his ass in front of you.
You didn't answer, so to fill the silence he let out a long rip.
BBBBBBBRRRRRRPPPPPPP
"Sniff that up, quickly, I'm get a hint of it up here"
To avoid any repercussions you leant back forward and sniffed the air vigorously. Reaching as far as the tight chain would allow you to reach, the collar strangling you for the effort.
"That's better, I think you get your job. Oh, and you may have wondered about the towel hanging here. Well, sometimes the farts get a bit. ..wet. We try not to judge each other, these supplements can do sll sorts to your body. So if a guy sharts a bit, just wait until he's finished and when he's gone wipe your face ready for the next visitor"
As if knowing you were about to try one more time to object and plead to be released, he let out a final fart into your open mouth. As you coughed and spluttered, trying not to focus on the taste on your tongue, there was a knock at the door.
"Oh, here we go! See you later Sniffer!"
And he left, closing the door.
#fart story#face fart#gay eproctophilia#male farts#man stink#fart kink#fart slave#gay fart#eproctophilia
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These are the only things You need to know about manifestation :
Manifestation is not a process. You aren't trying to manifest anything. You are just accepting the fact that it's already yours.
Don't get stuck in the trying/learning phase, you don't need it to make sense. You don't need to know how/when/what. Just know that it's already done.
You make the rules in your reality. Stop asking if you can manifest this/that or why some coach was saying this and the other coach said the opposite. Don't accept what they say as true in your reality. What's the point of being the operant power in your own reality if you're just gonna go behind the latest technique/ fad some random person on the internet tells you to do.
The simplest way is the real way. Accept it as true in your reality. That's all there is to it. If you wanna affirm and persist do that, If you wanna do saturation do that, If you wanna listen to subs do that. There is no right or wrong way. Just accept the fact that it is already done.
To answer the question of how can I assume something to be true when it clearly isn't - How come you always assume the worst when it comes to stuff you want? Don't you assume how you're gonna be late somewhere before it even happens? Don't you assume that something's gonna go wrong before it even happened? Don't you overthink all sorts of shit without once knowing what's actually happening behind the scenes? If you can do all this shit with no proof whatsoever, you can assume what you want is true - if you really want it. I said what I said.
Don't be afraid to claim it as true. You aren't being delusional, You aren't aiming too high, No it's not that farfetched, It's okay to want what you want, It isn't impossible (unless you assume it is). Stop letting fear take over your power. If you can desire it you can have it.
More often than not people stumble upon manifestation because they are desperately trying to manifest something. Like their SP, or money or the job or appearance change or whatever it might be. Most people fail at manifesting what they want the most. In my personal opinion, it's because you're so busy "TRYING" to manifest it and just stuck in the process and have just too much resistance. You guys are never like - I have it, but instead like - I'm trying to manifest it. I'm manifesting this and that.
Change that. You are not gonna be stuck in that anymore. You are gonna decide now and here that it is already done. You have it. It is yours. NOT TOMORROW, NOT TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY, BUT NOW.
You have it now. If you can accept this, nothing can stop you from having what you want.
#law of assumption#loass success#loassblog#loass states#loassumption#loass post#loass#affirm and persist#loa#loa tumblr#neville goddard#consciousness#loa blog#loatwt#loassblr#loablr#loa success#imagination#shradsmanifestt
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 7
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])
THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE 4 ENTRY I SWEAR
agatha: why yes I'm listening politely because I'm being sociable, not because this story concerns me in any way shape or form
she did NOT want TO DO IT AGATHA. HE WAS HER SON TOO AGATHA. did you ever give her a chance to SAY any of THAT. damn rio is (metaphorically) fighting for her life here. waiting centuries to catch her wife with her guard down next to a random fire, and then reworking her LONG PLANNED SPEECH into bite sized easily digestible bits so that her emotionally stunted soulmate doesn't run away screaming
I was doing MY DAMN FUCKING JOB agatha
agatha looks away like whooops! wasn't listening! wasn't looking at you! no sir, not me!
that's right. acknowledge her feelings. show her that you understand but that you're hurting too. be mature. you're doing great. god the way she swallows and stares right ahead, so determined. this is such a crucial moment for her.
agatha: i'm stone cold. I'm a wall. this is not affecting me in the slightest. I'm bored, really.
lilia not missing a word of what rio's saying
lmao the neutral pronoun lasted two seconds. she's not even trying to pretend like she isn't talking about agatha. and the way she nods to herself like yes, I did the best I could with this. so, there.
"she is my scar" is going to the sapphic annals, isn't it?
LMAOOOO the unblinking cat stare. rio is like I WAS TALKING TO YOU DUM-DUM. I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, EVERYONE AROUND THIS GODDAMN FIRE KNOWS IT. CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME PLEASE DEAR GOD
and agatha doing a teeny tiny side glance and going whoooooooops not looking! I'm NOT looking! I'm not even here! and scrunching her face more and more trying to keep it blank
AND she's gone. she's so predictable lmaooo. every dang time.
awkwaaaaaard
rio with her soft smile again! with the little amused eye roll! never getting mad at agatha's antics. she's like FINE I'll come after you, you BIG BABY. the patience this woman has
lilia is so scared of rio because somehow, through her exceptional Seer abilities, she knew instinctively that this is her mortal foe. but something funny has just happened: here in front of her there's just a regular little guy, a bit odd maybe, doing her little thing, trying to talk to her ex. might it be... might it be that death isn't a monster, that it's just a thing, a strange but natural thing that happens to everybody? lilia cannot accept that quite yet. so she grabs rio and says no, no. I've seen what you are. you're scary, you're evil, you're dangerous. this is lilia's survival instincts kicking in. we are simply wired to fear death, that's just how humans are. it takes an exceptional mind and soul to see past that.
oh god, here we go, here we go. deep breaths (I'm telling this to myself tbh. i need the pep talk)
stroking her hair so gently. soft, tentative.
hey, subtitle people??? what the fuck??
rio just stands and stares. lets agatha decide what comes next, goes at her pace always
the haiR CARESSING
the HUG. the BIG SIGH. this bitch was running away screaming from rio just yesterday. and here she is. her love. her partner. she finally acknowledges rio's pain and all that they lost and all that they were (and still are tbh) to each other. THIS is what rio was looking for. she's not flirting to manipulate and deflect now, she's not being somebody else. this is agatha cracked open and bleeding love and sorrow
and they melt into each other, and they're rocking each other back and forth, with all their pain and tenderness and longing
agatha with her face buried in rio's shoulder. I'm unwell
and then agatha gently pushes rio back and strokes her hair and cradles her face like she did so many times before and leans in and here I am giving you a play-by-play and running a commentary like a totally normal and sane person would
you know what makes for a perfect onscreen kiss imo? no it's not tongue, although these two will give us plenty of that too. it's the TREMBLING. THE HESITATION. THE YEARNING.
rio and her superhuman willpower. couldn't be me.
and and and and and agatha looks at her puzzled for a second and doesn't register what's happening and dives for a kiss again she's so far gone. the feral animal noises I'm making you have no idea
THE ICY SHOWER
THE STEP BACK. THE MOST PAINED SMILE
THE REGRET
I think one big reason why agatha is always so calculated is because she's afraid her instincts will take over. she does something big and spectacular and stupid and then calls it a 'calculated risk' when it was actually a rush of fear, desire, sorrow, anger that she couldn't control. tonight rio has managed to poke a little hole into a carefully constructed dam, and now all the water is rushing out and tearing down the walls. agatha has rio in her arms and her shape, her scent, her skin are so nostalgic and familiar. her brain goes on autopilot, she's been lonely for so long, she is FAMISHED for love and connection and sex and acceptance. rio wanted her to open up, but agatha doesn't do half-measures. rio wanted her to give for a change, but agatha can only ever take.
rio HAS to put a stop to it. she puts logic before heart, one of them has to and you know agatha isn't gonna. more than anything rio wants to take this one perfect moment and run away with it, but instead she tears herself away and asks, what happens next? what happens if I have to take billy away from you? that reanimated corpse, that freak of nature who walked into your life only yesterday and took over?
billy is now part of the equation and rio cannot ignore it. she has been so gentle and careful with agatha, easing her into a reconciliation that is now in jeopardy because here comes billy maximoff like a sword of damocles! what happens if agatha takes her back only for rio to break her heart all over again? there would be no coming back from that. rio cannot help being the grim reaper just as much as agatha cannot help being a succubus, and she is almost at her breaking point here. because she is hurting too! she is sick of having to be the mature one! she's sick of always coming in second after all of agatha's issues! turns out there's a limit even to the heartbreak an impossibly old and wise being can take.
(and now I need a smoke and a future episode that is just 30 minutes of hot but soft cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings. please.)
once again a big shoutout and thank you to all the people reaching out and leaving comments, it's incredible to hear from you all @crybabyheathen @onceuponalegendbg @idkbroletssee @psychicsolanum @73chn1c0l0rr3v3l @a-tad-bit-obsessed @a-rusty-bucket-of-woes @miacheezytoon @isagrimorie @april-december @aquaaquila and I'm probably forgetting someone but I see you all and I appreciate you so much!
#agatha all along#agathario#agatha deep dive#rio vidal#agatha harkness#lilia calderu#character study
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This is the greatest lesson I've ever learned was from my father. I was going through a breakthrough at 17. Realizing some shit might be my fault. That even though I needed to be medicated didn't mean I was allowed to say or do whatever I wanted all the time. (Meaning vicious things, things I did on purpose out of hate and pain. Things I would feel bad for when the smoke lifted) And when I was going through that one of the first things I did was go hat in hand to the people I felt I hurt, and sincerely apologize. And that although I could mean it with all my heart, they did not need to accept it.
The thing about it though, wasn't that I was unforgivable, but that we both had the chance to heal by me saying it. And that mattered to me. That you can do as best you can, and that's all you can do.
The fact that it was interchangeable. That you can wish you had done better, while not forgiving the people who made you the way you were at that moment. That you can want better for yourself, while remembering why you need to want better for yourself. That's where the whole, I won't stoop to your level thing comes in.
I'm not religious, but I'd like to maybe point out that the point of confessionals is that you're supposed to have remorse. That you can be forgiven as long as you feel that remorse. That we are not immune to temptation in any sense. That anyone could fall, but as long as they get back up and realize what happened, they could carry on. And yeah you can lie in there and feel like you cheated everyone, including god. Say your 10 hail Marys and feel absolved. But in your heart of hearts you will know. You'll know, and in that sense so will your god.
All you need to do is feel bad, and try and remember that the next time it comes around.
I promise you, if you know what you did, you can stand next to it and say this isn't what I should have done, but I try to do better now, youre on the right path. And it doesn't feel as damning when you look at it again.
the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible
because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person
from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating
it’s fucked up.
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The Pirate King of the North: Part 2 with Concept Art
Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship
Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language.
Part 1
Let's go back a touch to when old Sanji reunited with his Zoro after the arm incident.
Sanji
I'm back Marimo-kun~! Sorry I was gone for so long!
Zoro
What the–? How the fuck did you get into my house?!
Sanji
Turns out I got this exoskeleton so my limbs are practically replaceable! This isn't normal, right?
Commander 1
My Liege, we still need to attach the rest of the flesh.
Sanji
Oh, shush it now. I know it's just for padding at this point.
Anyway! This means we can keep fighting! Isn't that wonderful? I know your dad doesn't fight with that red-head anymore because of it.
Zoro
Dad? What are you…? Forget it. You're a freak. Get out. Now.
Sanji
Is…is it the hair? I thought I'd try something new…. I spent so long fixing it up for you. Do you not like it?
Zoro
Wait, what is that?
Sanji
Oh! This thing on my hand? It's a get-well-soon gift from my dear Doffy! He said I should at least try and make the fight fair for us so you won't get bored of me. What do you think?
Zoro
Fair? What do you mean fair?! And who the fuck is Doffy–?
Sanji
So many questions! Marimo-kun, I'm actually just here to propose. Let's go and get married!
Zoro
This…this must be some kind of a sick joke.
Sanji
I'm plenty serious actually. Come now, it'll be fun! If you marry me I'll give you all the sake you want~!
Zoro
You're barking mad if you think I'd agree to that.
Sanji
Commander, please present the dowry.
Darling, do you accept sea cows or do you prefer gold?
Zoro
Get the hell out of my house!!
Sanji
Hmm…you're right. I'm not doing this properly. Hey, is your dad still at Kuragaina? And was that a yes to sea cows?
Zoro
OUT!!!
This is Sanji's first of many marriage proposals.
----------
Later in the week, a certain captain is over at Zoro's.
Law
You don't have to marry the man. Just get on his good side enough to get the information. I don't care how you do it.
Zoro
You ask too much this time, surgeon.
Law
Oh, for fuck's sake–you owe me. And I'm cashing in.
Zoro
Fine. But I'm only doing this for Luffy. What do you need exactly?
Law
I need to know if someone's still alive…. It's only a rumour but it would kill me I'd I don't find out for sure. And only he might know it.
Zoro
A friend of yours?
Law
You can say that.
Zoro
What's the name?
Law
It's…the Marines call him Corazon.
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Notes: I'm still exploring how to do dialogue the way my brain lays it out in my head. I've written scripts for storyboarding purposes before but Tumblr layout won't let me do what I need so bullet points it is. Oh well! Depending on feedback I might change it up.
#pirate king of the north#villain sanji#old sanji#zosan#zosan fanfic#opfanart#fanfic#one piece#vinsmoke sanji#vinsmoke ichiji#one piece fanart#one piece fanfiction#trafalgar law#roronoa zoro#concept art#sketch#zosan marriage proposal#one piece au#alternate universe
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Resting Stars
Max Verstappen × Reader
What happens when you've reached your dreams and goals? Max Verstappen has just won his fourth world title, and before he has to race again, he shares a few moments with the most important person in his life.
A/N: Surprise fic! I had to post something for our man! Four-time World Driver's Champion! This was written very sleepily during the race, and I'm very happy with it. I hope you enjoy it.
This fic on AO3!
The flat was silent. She trotted into the kitchen after doing her morning routine in the bathroom. Max was already sitting at the table, drinking coffee from his favourite mug. He smiled when he saw her and she returned it.
His face was more contemplative than that of a fresh four time world champion should be. She made herself a tea, before sitting opposite him. "Are you still sure?" He looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, I want to do something else." She nodded too and took as sip from her mug. "Then it seems decided."
They shared a quiet breakfast before slumping down on the sofa. Their sleeping rhythm had been destroyed by Las Vegas, especially after the party they had had. Max had another race on the next weekend and there were still celebrations to be had and congratulations to be accepted, but for now they simply wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet.
"Are we going to get more cats?" She looked up at him from where she had laid her head in his lap. He shook his head. "I'm still going to race, just not F1." He looked over at the patch of sun where Donatello was laying. "When I'm old and gray and don't leave the house any more we can get more."
Silence settled over them once more, Jimmy jumped onto her stomach and rolled up, waiting for her to pat him, which she did. "It's going to be weird. Way weirder for you than for me."
He nodded his head. "Yeah, but I'm going to like it. Doing something else will be good." She looked back up at him from where her eyes had been focused on the cat. "You're going to miss it, even if you don't want to admit it."
He made a questioning face. "Won't deny that I'll miss it, but I'm going to enjoy doing something else, and I can always go back. Someone's bound to take me. But I don't think I will. I'll just enjoy life, racing, being with you, with the cats. Not a care in the world." She cuddled closer to him, if that was humanely possible, and let her eyes drift back to Jimmy.
Max looked down at her, thinking about the ring box that was securely hidden away between his Sim gear. Life would be very different, but he was more than happy with that. His time had come and gone, not in the eyes of others, but in his own. He had loved racing in F1 with his whole heart, but that heart beat for racing, not only in a single category, so he wanted to see more of the world, more of racing. There was so much to be explored, and he had reached his goals in Formula 1.
His retirement would surprise some, but not others. He would be happy with it, had made peace with it before he had voiced the idea for the first time. At this moment, while sitting with her head in his lap, looking out of the window into Monaco, he knew that this decision would change his life, but he also knew it would be a change he welcomed.
"Ik hou van je." His words were clear and steady and as she looked up at him her smile spread all over her face and her eyes were shinning. "I love you too." Max hand wandered over to hers, where she was stroking Jimmy, and squeezed it shortly, before also starting to stroke the cat. It would be a new, and very welcomed, part of his life.
@kigieri 2024. All rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate or repost any of my work.
#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#max verstappen#mv1#mv33#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen oneshot#mv1 fic#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#mv1 x you#red bull racing#las vegas gp 2024#kigieri writes
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EVERYTHING WAS A MISTAKE — i. cheater.
⤷ summary: Leaving home isn't hard, coming back to home is, you're determined to find your sister, but Gojo has many things to say to you.
⤷ pairing: yandere!satoru gojo x fem!vampire!reader.
⤷ warnings: angst, abuse (physical assault), a bit of gore, blood, abusive behavior, it's implied that Gojo has assaulted reader other times in the past, gaslighting, mentions of cheating, mentions of death, psychological violence (Gojo is manipulating the reader into thinking that everything is her fault), spoilers (JJK0).
⤷ more information about story: here.
⤷ notes: this chapter is a bit hard to read (it was hard to write too), if you are in an abusive relationship or have just come out of one reading it may cause triggers, so please stay safe. 🤍 (I forgot to post the chapter yesterday, sorry. 😭)
⤷ word count: 2867.
Human lives are bubbles floating on the surface of the water, fleeting, but the life of a vampire is perennial, like the Pinus longaeva, which will last for millennia if it is not uprooted. You let go of Satoru's clothes, to whom you were clinging tightly until recently. The words he said to you seem like a bad joke, but the part of you that knows him knows that he wouldn't lie about such a serious matter. A million possibilities run through your head and none of them seem right. Your older sister is the current head of the clan, she succeeded your mother after her death, she is also married to Satoru's older brother and is therefore part of the Gojo clan by marriage, no one in their right mind would harm her, unless they wanted to provoke a war that they would never win.
In the past, after you broke one of the clan's three taboos, your sister came to understand your side of the story, and although you confessed your sins out of your own mouth without showing remorse, she knew you well enough to know that you would never commit a crime of this proportion unless it was truly necessary, you were hot-headed, not a serial killer. However, there was a limit to her influence, your sister had to withdraw from the investigation not long after, the other investigators claimed there was a conflict of interest and personal motivations on her part because you belong to the same lineage, although you knew very well why they wouldn't allow her to investigate, you comforted her by saying it was all a mistake.
You accepted the death sentence so that her and her family's reputation wouldn't be tarnished by her crimes, but when you found out what they would do with your corpse after your death, you had no choice but to run away. You escaped from prison and left everything behind, so you would never see your family again and would forever be an outcast, but you knew that Gabi, your beloved sister, still had hope.
You fall to the ground on your knees, your heart breaks into a million pieces that you may never be able to put back together, the tears flow endlessly, but you don't make a sound. Your sister once told you: "One day, I will die, and you will be the last member of our family. And when that day comes, you'll miss me so bad when I'm gone, Y/N!" She said it laughing, you didn't care because she was the head of the clan, and just like your mother, she would die of old age with three children or more, but now those words blowing in the wind have taken on a new meaning, as if she knew deep down that it would happen. You put your hand on your chest and lean forward until your face touches the carpet, you open your mouth to scream, there's no strength left in you to do so, only a bitter taste of defeat in your mouth.
Satoru gets down on his knees in front of you and hugs you, you don't pull back because it's the only comfort you can have right now, you cling to him like you're clinging to your last thread of hope, you allow yourself to cry because it's the only thing you can do right now. He's never seen you react like this, you never cry, you didn't shed a single tear at your own mother's funeral, you were like a beacon in the middle of a stormy night, strong and resilient, no one has ever been able to shake you, so seeing you so vulnerable makes him feel he needs to protect you. He lifts your face with both hands and wipes the snot off with the sleeve of his shirt, you're a wreck, but you muster the strength to get up. Now with a clear head, you know you have to solve this problem, no matter what.
"I'm going to kill them all." You mutter, the glow you're carrying fades and gives way to a gloomy aura, you turn away from Satoru, you're planning how to kill these people, there are too many of them and only one of you, but you've been in a similar situation before, so you think it won't be a big problem. "Thanks for warning me, but I don't want you to meddle this time, it's a matter of fa-"
Satoru suddenly interrupts you. You don't have time to associate what happened right away, it was so fast, only then do you realize that he's hit you, you touch your cheek and it's hot and tingling, your ear is ringing as if a bell is inside your head, and it feels like one of your eyes has popped out of your skull because you're not seeing well. You're so bewildered that he has to hold you so that you don't fall to the ground again.
"I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but stop. Now." He gently grabs your face and presses down on your right eye with his thumb in order to put it back in place, and you stand there as if you were a doll being carefully repaired. "You're a hothead, aren't you? God! Are you thinking of killing someone else? I hope not, I don't want to have to do it again." He scolds you, he doesn't like the idea of having to hit you, but you always cross the line, it's so annoying. "If you make a single slip-up, everyone's efforts will be for nothing, your sister's life is at stake and we still don't know the intentions behind the kidnapping, so. Stop. Acting. Impulsively." He spoke slowly and nodded, waiting for you to agree. "Answer me."
"But-"
"Answer." Somehow his aura seemed to pressure you, it's always like this, he says he doesn't want to hit you, but if you keep doing things the way you want, he'll hit you again and again until you stop, you shrug and he sighs. "Y/N... answer me, I won't do it again, so be a good girl and say you won't do anything."
"I won't act on impulse, I promise."
"Yes, yes. I knew you were still a good girl." His tone of voice has changed, the pressure on his shoulders is also gone, he pushes back a lock of hair and kisses your forehead, it's almost as if he's someone else. "I'd love to spend some time with you here, but we have to go now."
"Now?" You hear a pop, Gloria and the children are still waiting for you, you can't leave without saying goodbye, you look around the room for the bread basket and find it completely ruined, you let out a breath of air through your nose. "I couldn't go and see any of you anyway."
"Who are you talking about?" Satoru grabs you from behind and buries his face in your neck, you're tense and stiff, it would be bad if he found out about Gloria, he's not the kind of person who tolerates jealousy. But fortunately he doesn't seem to know, he sees the basket of bread on the floor and remembers the children you greeted earlier. "I didn't know you liked children so much."
"Oh, yes, of course?! So you were stalking me at that time too?" He replies with a 'mhmm', you roll your eyes. "You're awful." You let out a dry, mirthless laugh. "Oh, I never had a chance, did I?"
"I'm glad you know your place." He's so overbearing and arrogant, yet if you had only half the power he has, you'd act like it too. "I'll help the children later if you behave yourself on the journey back."
"Really?" Your shoulders relax, you lean in to look at him, he nods in agreement and you're relieved, but everything has a price...
"But you'll owe me one." He whispers unassumingly. "Two, actually." He holds up two fingers, you choke. "Or have you forgotten that I'm going to have to take you in secret?"
"I thought you were going to give me up! I even thought I would need Suguru's help."
"Of course not!" He shouts, irritated, an icy chill shakes your body, you lower your head and he continues shouting. "What kind of monster do you think I am? I would never hurt you, Y/N. I... I... forget it." He pushes you away and massages his temples, then stops abruptly and runs his hand over his face as if he's just remembered something. "Oh, one more thing, Suguru is dead."
"WHAT?"
"I killed Suguru, he committed some crimes, but nothing compares to the fact that he hid you from me." Satoru lets out an infamous chuckle, you can't believe what he's just told you, but given the circumstances, you know he's not lying, the only person who knew your whereabouts was Suguru. "You remember when you abandoned me, don't you? Didn't you think about me? How I might feel?"
"You weren't the only one I left behind, and-" You start to speak, but he signals you to shut up and stop making excuses he doesn't want to hear.
"But as far as I know you haven't abandoned Suguru, have you?" You feel the air get heavy and Satoru's shadow covers you, he seems much bigger than you or you're feeling too small, you don't know, you go back and grope the tree, there's nowhere to run, you close your eyes and wait, maybe for the next slap or something worse. "He told me everything before he died... so we have a lot to talk about, Y/N."
Mistrust is like a deadly poison that eats away at you from the inside, it makes love grow cold, but it also gives birth to a weed called resentment. There's no fixing something that's been broken, when you put the pieces back together, the cracks and scars of the breakage will be there forever, it will break again if you fill it with water. There is no way to mend the heart of someone who has already been betrayed or abandoned.
Satoru look at you with a fake smile, the corners of his mouth are twitching, a bad sign, there's no escape for a change, there's only the two of you on this deserted house, even if there was someone here no one would come to save you, there's no place you can use to hide, but there's no way and no reason to hide when the Six Eyes are looking for you. You open your mouth, but give and accept that there is no other option but to stay quiet, he seems satisfied with your decision, the smile on his face widens.
"Satoru..."
"You cheated on me." He repeats with tears in his eyes.
"WAIT, WHAT? I never cheated on you." You choke, you don't know if he's making it up or Suguru said something that made him get it all wrong. "I don't think this is the time or the moment to talk about it."
"But I do." He retorts. "You disappeared for ten years, Y/N. DAMNED. TEN. YEARS!" He puts a lot of emphasis on that. "You didn't try to contact me during that time, you didn't even make an effort to make me try to understand your side, but..." He paused dramatically. "There was enough space for Suguru to continue in your life. Do you know how painful it was to find out from him that you'd been in contact and seeing each other for all those years?" He frowns and laughs like a maniac. "What about me, Y/N? I was alone in the dark for ten years. I had no news of you, I didn't know where you were, how you were or if you were even alive, but he knew because he told me before he died." He scratches the back of his neck and bites his lower lip. "You didn't even bother to break up with me."
"You turned your back on me first! You spent weeks ignoring me before everything happened and-"
"Because YOU were hiding things from ME!" He shouts and points at you accusingly. "I never knew your side because you didn't trust me enough to open up to me, your own boyfriend." He uses both hands to point at himself, the veins in his neck and forehead bulging, he's furious. "But Suguru knew, because you told him everything, didn't you? You even asked for help to escape."
You choke, you don't know if Suguru revealed all the details to him, but your mind goes blank like a blank canvas for lack of arguments, you can't retort, because what he's saying is the truth, at no point did you consider the possibility of trying to contact him, you didn't explain why you killed all those people in the first place, you just accepted the fact that he hated you and decided to walk away without saying a word. Who told you he hated you? Did he really think you were a monster? The fine line between what was true and what wasn't was so thin that you couldn't tell the difference anymore.
"I forgave you for killing those people and for running away, but this..." He points at you and for a portrait of you and Suguru on the bedside table, then makes a cutting sign with his hands, shaking his head frantically. "I'll never forgive that. Never."
"I'm sorry."
"It's too late to say you're sorry." Satoru reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black blindfold. "You never really loved me, did you? You loved him, I was just... an idiot. That's the truth. I was just a substitute for him."
You see the tears streaming down his face, he brushes them away with the back of his hand as if he doesn't want you to see him cry, you feel your stomach lurch, you don't have the courage to approach him, it's bad enough to know that everything that happened in the past was a big misunderstanding, to be abandoned and in a way betrayed, you can't measure his pain. And although you have your share of the blame for his suffering, he has to understand that you were on the run, many came after you to kill you, familiar faces, you have a lot of traumas to carry, and you don't want or need to carry the weight of this ill-fated relationship, but you can't help it.
"I expected a little loyalty from you. But you're one of them." Satoru refers to the fame of vampires and their multiple partners, but you're not like the others, you really only loved him, but he's so blinded by hatred that he can't see. You love him so much that you trusted him with your life. "You... you cheating bitch, I did everything for you, I... I even tried to forgive you for it, but then you started thinking about going after him? HAHAHA, I'm really stupid."
"I'm not a cheater. I've NEVER cheated on you." A lump forms in your throat, you can barely defend yourself against these unfounded accusations, based on jealousy and paranoia, you sniffle and wipe away tears that wanted to escape from your eyes. "I swear, I never did that, I-" 'love you' You continue the sentence mentally.
You endured everything in silence for fear of sharing the burden with someone else, because you are afraid to lose everyone, but you also believe that if you had been honest from the beginning, he would have understood you, and maybe your sister wouldn't have had to go through what you're going through now, but now it's too late to be honest.
"You just used me and are still using me for your own gain, you just want to ensure your sister's safety and leave. Like everyone else... I'm just a tool for you."
"That's not true, stop it."
The truth hurts, and he's telling the truth, from the beginning you thought of him as a tool to find your sister, but not everything is true, you also want to spend time with him, since finding him again has ignited something inside you, but you don't have the strength to go against him. You take a step forward and he moves away, you reach out to touch him and he rejects you, it's so painful that you'd rather he hit you, you grab his hand and he's so cold, so distant, as if an abyss were separating you. You open your mouth to beg for forgiveness once again, but you feel a stinging pain in your head and heart, a buzzing in your ears makes you dizzy and makes you scream hysterically, your nose and ears began to bleed non-stop.
"Y/N?" Satoru's voice becomes distant and his image blurs. "Y/N?! Are you all right?"
"I... I... I feel... so... sorry... I... will... tell you... everything..." Your vision suddenly darkens.
The last thing you hear is Satoru's voice shouting your name.
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#yandere jjk#jjk gojo#yandere gojo x reader#satoru x you#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere x reader#yandere satoru x reader#yandere satoru gojo#yandere satoru gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader
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"That said, both Styles and his therapist have questioned why he cares quite so much about being likeable. This is one of the things he thought about a lot in his big pandemic reflection. In part, it's a choice, he explained. He recalled moving to London after The X Factor and hearing tales of petulant celebrities screaming because someone got their coffee order wrong and deciding to never be that guy, to never give someone a petty reason to bad-mouth him. But more recently he's come to worry that the drive for approval came from a more complex place, a place of caution, fear, control." "Styles said he often spent interviews terrified about saying the wrong thing until he stopped to question what abhorrent belief or bizarre opinion he was scared he'd accidentally reveal and realized he couldn't think of anything."
"And he thought about the cleanliness clauses in the contracts he used to sign, which would dictate that they would be null and void if he did anything supposedly unsavoury, and about how terrified that used to make him. And about when he signed his solo contract and learned that the ability to make music would not be affected by personal transgressions, he burst into tears, a reaction he still seemed shocked by, retelling it to me now, years later. "I felt free," he explained."
"When Styles began therapy about five years ago [so in 2017], he was reluctant initially, feeling it was a music industry cliché. "I thought it meant that you were broken," he said. "I wanted to be the one who could say I didn't need it." He returned to the home theme that has underpinned our conversation, explaining that therapy has allowed him to "open up rooms in himself" that he didn't know existed, allowed him to feel things more honestly, where before he had tended to"emotionally coast.""
"Recently Styles began to work through issues related to intimacy, dating, love. "For a long time, it felt like the only thing that was mine was my sex life. I felt so ashamed about it, ashamed at the idea of people even knowing that I was having sex, let alone who with," he said."
"You look back, especially now there's all the documentaries, like the Britney documentary, and you watch how people were abused in that way, by that system, especially women. You recall articles from not even five years ago, and you're like, I can't even believe that was written."
He has been thinking a lot recently about autonomy, ownership, privacy. About what he should be able to keep to himself, what he should be able to simply communicate through his music without follow-up questions or prying. Around the time of Fine Line, he faced scrutiny around his sexuality. People became incredulous that he wore dresses, waved Pride flags, and yet hadn't clarified with precision, publicly to a journalist or on social media, the specifics of who he'd slept with, how he defined. This expectation is, to him, bizarre, "outdated." "I've been really open with it with my friends, but that's my personal experience; it's mine," he said.
Despite the acceptance that some things could, should, have been different, he still feels lucky every day, he said, lucky to make music, lucky to do what he loves.
"You can't win music. It's not like Formula One," he said. "I was like, in my lifetime, there will be 10 more people who burst onto the scene in that way, and I'm only going to get further away from being the young thing. So, get comfortable with finding something else that makes you happy. I just found that so liberating."
"I just want to make stuff that is right, that is fun, in terms of the process, that I can be proud of for a long time, that my friends can be proud of, that my family can be proud of, that my kids will be proud of one day," he said.
““In lockdown, I started processing a lot of stuff that happened when I was in the band,” he said. He thought about the way he was encouraged to give so much of himself away, “to get people to engage with you, to like you.” He thought about the fact that no baby photos exist of him that aren’t on the internet (you give a bunch to an X Factor producer doing a piece on your backstory without much thought, and suddenly your childhood is online). He thought about the journalists asking questions, when he was still a teenager, about how many people he’d slept with and how, rather than telling them to go away, he would worry about how he could be coy without them leaving the room annoyed. “Why do I feel like I’m the one who has done something wrong?” he said to me.”
— Harry for Better Homes and Gardens Magazine
#what a lovely article :')#vulnerability on HARRY's terms#it's good that he got into therapy and started processing - therapy is an amazing tool#he's come so far i'm so so happy for him 🥹#also the “my kids” mention made my heart glow#you'll be such a cool dad Harry#(you and Lou together 🥹💙💚)#Harry wants a baby#that 'the drive for approval came from a more complex place - a place of caution and fear and control' - no surprises here...#in this house WE HATE MODEST!#in this house we HATE SYCO#him sharing that he burst into tears because he 'finally felt free' when he signed his solo contract... fuck that is so TELLING#music industry#Better Homes and Gardens#interview#article#Harry#therapy#rainbows#sexuality#2022
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Threatening Sentences, Vol. 5
(Sentences from various sources for threats to and from a muse. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"You better watch it. You know my reputation?"
"Nobody is untouchable."
"I've been shot too many times to be scared by a gun."
"I'll give you a choice. You can walk out of here and never come back, keep your mouth shut... The other choice, I don't think I need to go into much detail about."
"Nothing changes behaviour like pain."
"Think twice about playing games with me; I will blow you to pieces."
"Blackmail? Go on, then. With everything you've done, you'll be going down with me."
"We execute traitors. Didn't you know that?"
"You best be looking over your shoulder because if we cross paths again, I'm going to bury your whole family."
"I came back to finish you off."
"I know what you're afraid of me. It's okay; I'd be afraid too."
"If you come after me, you better bring more than that pretty smile."
"Turn around and put your hands in the air now!"
"Don't ever fuck with me. I will know."
"I'm a hair's breadth from riddling you with holes!"
"I can get everything I want from you even if you only have nine fingers, or perhaps only one eye."
"I'm going to wear your head as a watch fob."
"The prospect of death is strong motivation."
"Will you stop playing dumb? I can't stand it when cops play dumb!"
"I'd tread very carefully if I were you. You, of all people, should know what I am capable of."
"You know, I will shoot you! I will shoot you in the liver!"
"If you want to live to see another day, you'll be out of town by nightfall."
"What's the most pain you've ever felt in your life?"
"Do I need to remind you what happened last time you pushed me too far?"
"I have a job for you. If you want to stay alive, you're going to accept it."
"If you like breathing, you might want to fix this."
"If you put your hand around my neck, you'll lose it."
"How nice to see you properly dressed for a change!"
"Never underestimate the power of incentive."
"Make so much as a sound, and a bullet goes through your throat."
"I may not be allowed to kill you, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to hurt you."
"As bad as you think things are now, they're going to get much worse."
"Put that down or I'll blow your head off!"
"Say what you want, but I promise you, you'll be dead by dawn."
"I don't believe that anybody's coming to look for you."
"Do you really think you can win?"
"If you plan on exposing me, then my only option will be to kill you."
#rp meme#rp memes#roleplay meme#roleplay memes#rp prompts#roleplay prompts#sentence starters#assorted;#threatening;
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Sitcom AU - 1. The one with the bride
wolfstar; jegulus; dorlene; panryly; rosekiller
"What I mean is that it's not right."
"Isn't that kind of homophobic?"
Marlene scowls at Pandora, who quickly pinches her lips together with a coy look, making Remus chuckles in his cup of tea.
"No, no, hear her out," Sirius cuts.
"Two male penguins?!"
"Still can't believe you didn't hear about that before," Peter mentions, stirring his new cup of coffee.
"They got an egg too?! When they have been trying to steal one but they get a reward instead?!"
"That was one solution to stop that behaviour," Remus sagely comments.
"If I did that, I wouldn't be given a child!"
"You don't want one, Marl'."
"Thank God for that too— ouch! Fuck! I'm on your side!"
"Just accept that penguins have more rizz than you," Mary says before ducking at the pillow. "Hey!"
The waitress clears her throat from behind the couch and Marlene smiles toothily at her to lose it as quickly when facing them again.
"As if you have any."
"Shouldn't we be happy that gay penguins are accepted and loved? Especially if they raised a little baby!"
"I believe, their chick was also a lesbian," Remus comments
"Their child too?!" Marlene exclaims in shock. "What is going on in this world?!"
"I could present you someone if you are that desperate," Pandora gently offers. "I have this co-"
"I don't need help!"
Sirius grimaces with a nod. "You do."
"Like you are any better, slag."
"I'm on your side!" He argues with a waving hand that she slaps away. "Cunt!"
"On her side against— queer penguins?" Peter wonders.
"I just can't bloody believe it."
"Sometimes, I wish I was a penguin," Remus mutters and pauses at all the eyes jumping on him. "Erm."
"And you call me desperate."
"You literally have a feud with penguins now?" Mary points out.
Sirius laughs before looking up just in time for James to walk in Hogwarts. Marlene sighs, not bothering to glance since these two always predict whenever their other half is around.
"Hi James!" Pandora greets.
"Hey," he grins even if it's a tad sadder than usual while he puts his wet umbrella against the rack already full. "Whatcha talking about?" He asks, sitting down next to Sirius who scooted over and immediately puts his arm on his shoulders.
"Marlene discovered animals can be queer," Peter explains. "And wants to fight a couple of penguins."
James laughs, turning to her. "But that's so cute!"
She scowls at him. "They have it so easy while we have to bloody pay taxes and they got a marriage and child for free, how is that right?!"
Mary leans toward James. "She got a bad date last night and-" she shrieks at the kick in her back, getting her face smashed in the couch's bottom. Marlene cackles evily just as Mary rounds on her. "You better not have used your shoes on my new shirt!"
The waitress pays them no mind, used to their antics, as she nods at James' order before walking behind the counter.
"Knee."
"You're such a cunt. Don't come whine to me about pain from your trainings because I'm never massaging you again."
"You alright, Prongs?" Peter asks. "Where is Lily?"
He shrugs. "I'm alright. She had work to do so," he says and smiles at Sirius who squeezes him with his arm. "I'm really fine. Just a bit bummed out."
Remus offers a supportive smile, leaning out of his armchair to pat his knee. "You're still friends."
James sighs and takes the cuppa from the waitress' hands with a polite smile. "I know… It's just that I kind of hoped her- us, to be it."
"It's her loss, mate," Sirius says with a startle at Remus' slap on his arm. "What?! It's the truth!"
"Lily is our friend too," he retorts with a pointed look but Sirius only rolls his eyes.
"At least it ended well."
"It might be awkward for some time but everything will be fine," Pandora promises. "You just can't picture her naked anymore."
James blushes. "I wasn't going to! And I know that, I'm just disappointed that it ended up— like that."
"You two dated quite quickly," Mary points out. "It's not that uncommon to realise that despite your attraction, you were both better off as friends."
"And that she is a lesbian."
James scowls at Marlene. "First off, she was almost never attracted to anyone before. Second, she is attracted to me. Third, she is trying to figure it out so don't push her around, Marl'."
Pandora nods. "Yes, I want Lily to stay our friend too. She is lovely."
"Why do you assume I'm going to bully her? I'm just sharing facts!"
"Because you are one," Mary sniffs and flips her off when she sticks her tongue out.
James watches them with an amused grin and meets Sirius' eyes with his own unsure gaze. "She would like that too but she is worried. I told her that it doesn't change anything but…"
Sirius pats his cheek before petting his hair. "Don't worry. I'm sure it will be fine."
"She might only need some time," Remus agrees.
"Breakups, as nice as it went for you two, is still hard," Mary adds with a sorry look. "You were both— intense."
Peter shares the sentiment with a nod as they watch James drinks his cuppa and Sirius brushes his wet hair to cheer him up. He smiles at them, lips wordless for several tries before rolling his shoulders.
"I still love Lily, maybe not as much as a lover like I wanted but at least we are. She offered me a chance to try and… If I'm honest, I felt it for a while."
"Oh, Prongs."
"No, it's fine," he promises with a quick comforting smile at Sirius. "I was happy. Think she was too but you know, no sparks or anything. Comfy but more like friends with benefits rather than lovers."
"Shouldn't it be like that?" Marlene wonders, putting down her cup on the coffee table. "Maybe you only got through the honeymoon part."
"We can't really judge on that," Peter slowly says. "No one has been in a serious relationship more than you. Even Re-"
"Let's not talk about him," Remus interrupts.
Sirius glances at him before settling back on James. "I'm sure there is someone out there that will give you all the sparks you want."
James sighs. "It's stupid but I had everything planned. Now I have to plan another wedding, with someone else, in God knows when but I want to find my soulmate-"
"Lobster-"
"To build our lives together and get married," he finishes with a fond but torn expression.
The doors of Hogwarts slam open and the rain furiously takes advantage of that small gap before it closes after a figure stumbles through on heels. The cafe falls silent, everyone doing a double-take at the long white wedding dress, beautiful despite its soggy state.
"And I want a pony!" Pandora blurts out with eager eyes at the apparition.
The disheveled black hair clashes with the long veil scrunched up in it while the bride frantically looks around with wide bloodshot eyes, which almost pops out of her skull when landing on a gaping Sirius.
"Oh my God," he gasps out, hand frozen in a tangle of James' hair as he straightens up in his seat.
With blank and tears brewing eyes, the bride stumbles to the couch, completely missing the step of the entry but she saves herself with a thunderous look and nails digging into the couch.
"Sirius! Oh my God, there you are," she gasps out.
"Holy crap," Marlene blurts out.
Sirius stares at the bride before jumping out of his seat. "What are you doing here?!"
The bride scowls, angrily pulling at her skirt before throwing it to point out the obvious. "I went by your apartment but then I only found your landlord who told me you might be here-- which you are and I finally found you..," her voice cracks the more it goes as her already ashen face blanches.
Sirius is quite close to follow her by the weak step he takes but stops himself. James is as flabbergasted as him but by his frown he mights have recognized her. Remus glances between them before almost inching over the edge, ready to stand up.
"Pads?"
"Hum, would you like a cuppa?" The waitress asks with a worried frown.
The bride almost glares at her, ramming her dress in one hand, before turning back to Sirius.
"I need your help-"
"How the hell are you even here?! Found me?"
"Sirius can't actually be secretly married, is he?" Peter whispers but Remus is at lost of words.
"I know all your whereabouts."
"Can someone explain to me what's happening?!" Mary exclaims with a barely hushed tone, leaning against Pandora's shoulders to stare at them closer.
Sirius jerks, glancing frantically at them until he lands back on the bride who started to breath heavily.
"Oh my God, breathe!" James says, standing up with a gesture at the couch. "Sit down, catch your breathe."
She ignores him. "I need your help, Sirius-"
"Did you just run out of a wedding?!" He exclaims.
"Yes, mine! You— ne fais pas l'idiot !" She argues with big gasps of air, chest bobbing not by much despite the speed under her corset. "I ran off because I couldn't do it, not anymore. I… I just can't. I had to crawl through a window but I had no idea where to go except to you," she gasps out with a fever splattered on her cheeks, "I think I broke my ankle because of these stupid heels."
Sirius takes a deep breath, leaning onto the couch to look at her legs, before looking up. "What's your shoe size? 13, right?"
"What? No, I'm not a child anymore, Sirius! 5," She says, exasperated.
Every patron are still watching when Sirius jumps over the coffee table to get to Mary. She can barely make a noise before her shoes are grabbed and she shrieks when Sirius only tugs harder.
"Sirius! Stop!" She shrieks, clawing at the rug when she is dragged, before throwing a disbelieving look at them. "Wha- can anyone help me?!" She gasps when one of her shoes finally gives up and Sirius almost falls on Pandora before he does the same for the second shoe.
No one moves and even the bride seems stunned by Sirius, who walks up to him to hand him over Mary's shoes. James gapes at them.
"Padfoot?"
"My shoes?!"
"Free heels."
Sirius throws blindly the pair of sparkly heels on the couch, helping the bride stay upright as she tries to put Mary's shoes on with one hand while the other shakily holds on the dress. Mary, baffled, glances at the heels before taking them with a shrug.
"Sirius?" Remus cautiously calls.
"Don't come in the apartment for like, an hour at least!" He calls as he leads the bride outside, helping her as keeps tripping despite the new shoes.
They watch them through the windows, along with everyone else, while Sirius hastily tries to untangle the veil from her long black hair before throwing it out on the street as they disappear around the corner. Pandora turns to gape at them in excitement.
"What just happened?!"
Remus slightly shakes his head and turns to James. "Prongs?"
He jerks to face them, still standing in front of the couch, and his mouth finally shuts with a loud noise. "Huh?"
"Have an idea who that was?"
"She looked a lot like Sirius," Peter comments.
James nods, clearly in his thoughts, before sitting down with a last look at the windows. "It's Regulus."
"Who?"
"Sirius' brother."
"Sirius has a brother?" Peter asks in disbelief. "Since when?!"
Mary frowns. "Hum, then explain why his brother was wearing heels and wearing a wedding dress? Stealing my shoes?"
"You are wearing the heels," Pandora points out.
"Because he stole them and they are clearly expensive— even if they don't fit with my current jeans."
"He is trans," Remus says. "That's the brother who didn't want to run away with him when they were younger?"
James nods, glancing at the windows again. "Regulus."
"You knew?! How come didn't I know?" Peter asks.
"Wait, is he a trans man or a trans woman because I'm lost," Pandora interjects.
"Trans man," James explains. "He— well, their parents aren't quite accepting that part but he still stayed with them. That's why he looks so… not."
"God, was that a forced marriage and forcing him to stay a woman?" Mary asks in horror. "Wait, is it Regulus as a man or? Strange name."
"That's the name he picked for himself."
"You knew him from your private fancy school?" Peter wonders and looks at Remus. "But you weren't there, so how did you know?"
"Erm, Sirius might have mentioned it to me," he admits. "Barely…"
"Oh my God, their parents must be going crazy. They are just insane-"
"Holy crap, Sirius with tits is hot." James stares in disbelief at Marlene, finally coming back to earth by the looks of it with a slight scoff. "What?! I never thought that would happen! And they look terrifyingly similar!"
"I thought his family was in France," Remus mentions, confused. "How did Regulus find Sirius like that?"
"Should we go check on them maybe?" Pandora asks, straightening up on her knees. "He said to not come to the apartment but maybe we can bring some warm food and drinks for them. Make Regulus feel welcome."
James gasps. "Do you think he is going to stay?"
Marlene frowns at him. "Wait… Didn't you have this huge crush on Regulus?! I remember something about Sirius' sibling!"
Mary cackles at James' vivid blush. He makes a rude gesture at her while Pandora smiles fondly at him, joining him on the couch to rub his shoulder. Remus smiles with a sorry on his lips, remembering James' infatuation on his best friend's brother back when they met during university where Sirius only showed up sometimes to visit with no mention of any sibling except for James.
#marauders#hp marauders#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar#regulus black#james potter#jegulus#starchaser#sunseeker#marlene mckinnon#dorcas x marlene#dorcas meadowes#mary macdonald#lily evans#pandora x lily x mary#panryly#pandora rosier#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#barty crouch junior#rosekillers#barty crouch x evan rosier#peter pettigrew#emmeline vance#sitcom au#friends au
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He doesn't understand what Ichigo sees when he looks at him that makes him think so highly of Shiro. They clearly see something different. He sort of shrugs when Ichigo asks that clarifying question. He snorts when Ichigo says he could have been a kingpin. "That's 'cause my lane is very lucrative." His brows furrow slightly at the mention of his backstabbing crew. They're probably right; Shiro probably could take this further, make it bigger. But, "They clearly don't know where this all started. I've turned this into a pretty big operation in just a few years." Sure, the foundation was already there for him when he ended up stepping into Yhwach's place, but instead of running it into the ground or getting killed like all of Yhwach's business partners thought would happen, he's build on that foundation and outpaced said partners. And maybe offed a couple of the ones he didn't like. He wonders if Ichigo knows that. He wonders if Ichigo realizes Shiro never left behind his secondary function of body-maker and body-hider. So he's not a kingpin on the mainland, but so far those mainland kingpins haven't tried to step into his territory and there might be a reason for that. Or maybe he's just gotten lucky so far.
He has no trouble remembering the night Ichigo's talking about, nor the exact look on Ichigo's face after their scuffle, trying to mask his fear with hate and anger. He smirks. "It was a good look on you." He'd seen plenty of scared, angry people, but there was always something different about Ichigo. Ichigo saying he'd still like him even if he was washed up and no longer able to hold his own is weirdly touching. It feels a little like acceptance, like Ichigo can still like him and find him attractive despite the drugs. And he knows Ichigo's disappointed he's using again. That disappointment is a big source of shame for Shiro. But he snorts. "I can still fight just fine. I might go a little overboard sometimes, but I'm a lot more in control of my habits than I was the first time around."
The idea of having Ichigo mention something to Grimmjow only sounds like a good idea in the very first half second it enters his brain. After even a tiny bit of thought, it sounds like a disaster. "Maybe not, but I doubt you're gonna do any better on my behalf. He's probably gonna come for my head. What're you gonna do about that?"
The sweatshirt Ichigo grabs looks cozy and his very first thought is that he might borrow it, before he shoves the idea of being able to swap clothing with Ichigo at will out of his head. They're not partners anymore. He doesn't just have free access to whatever he wants. He nods, "Of course. It's in the back corner. You gotta get a key from the kid at the counter."
His brows go up slightly in a dry, unimpressed expression. What a helpful answer. But Ichigo does go on to explain better. He doesn't quite know what to think or how to respond. "You think too highly of me. What would I even do to the city?" He hadn't realized he wasn't ambitious, but he supposes he's not. He never really thought much about it, but just assumed it was normal. "I assumed you liked me because I was formidable." He can't picture Ichigo even noticing someone who isn't formidable in some way. He scoffs, "No."
That's fair. "Yeah, I get it." He's a little short while he says it because he doesn't want to get into it. He's had an emotional rollercoaster already today and he's pretty sick of it. He doesn't want to sit here and hear about how Ichigo and Grimmjow think he's a horrible person. He really should just drop by, but he always kind of wonders if he's going to get shanked and if he'd try very hard to avoid it. It would all depend on Grimmjow's mood and his own mood. He shrugs. "Whatever. I can figure something out. You don't have to."
He pushes a few hangers aside to look at something in a color that caught his eye but doesn't pull it off the rack. Mostly he trails behind Ichigo, enjoying the chance to do something so mundane with him. He pulls out the most revealing thing he comes upon -more price tag and bow tie than cloth- and casually adds it to Ichigo's pile, mostly because he thinks it's funny but he definitely wouldn't mind seeing Ichigo wear next to nothing.
#blacksun#tsp activity check#omggg the possibilities are endless for this verse XD#they're like three minutes into the meet up and things are already a little tense and it's only when things start heating up to be violent#that they realize they're supposed to be on opposite sides#the whole meet up fizzles out when they accidentally make out instead of fight
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✧ 𝗪𝗛𝗬? ⎥ 911
Pairing: Evan Buckley x Tommy Kinard
Warnings: This does have spoilers for 8x08.
Summary: Eddie is leaving, and Buck goes to Tommy about it.
Notes: This is my first piece of writing for the 9-1-1 fandom. I am a bucktommy shipper so if you have a problem with that then don't read this.
masterlist⎥ navigation
Word Count: 1.2k
In the locker room after shift, Buck is quiet and the silence is tense. He knows that today Eddie is telling the team that he is moving, having finally bought a house in El Paso. Eddie told him two weeks ago when he handed in his resignation.
"Guys, I have uh, something I want to tell you all." Eddie says, breaking the silence. Buck is already dressed so he can leave as soon as this is over. He can’t bear to hear it again that he is losing his best friend. Everyone exchanges a look. They can tell that this maybe isn't happy news.
Hen asks, "Yeah Eddie, what's up."
"I bought a house a couple weeks ago." He tells them.
"Oh nice, is it close to us? Did you make sure to pick a good neighbourhood and school." Chim questions.
"Uh yeah I did, but it's not here. It's in El Paso."
And the silence is back. Bobby knew this was coming, so he's leaning against the lockers, calm and cool. Chim and Hen are dumbfounded, mouths gaping like fish, while Buck stands silent, staring at the backpack in his hands.
"Why are you moving back to Texas?" Hen asks tearfully.
"I'm tired of missing out on Chris's life. Now that he's there and Shannon is gone, there's nothing left for me in LA anymore. I want to be a dad to my kid again, and it doesn't look like I will be able to do that here."
Buck sucks in a breath. He wasn't expecting to hear that from Eddie. Obviously Buck knew how much Eddie misses Chris, but how can he say that LA has nothing left for him? Despite not wanting to make it about him, Buck thinks about how he has been Eddie's partner and best friend for eight years, LA can't mean nothing to him, right? What about Buck?
Buck can't take it anymore. He wheels around and stalks out of the locker room without saying anything more to Eddie. Ripping open the door to his Jeep, he leaves the station and just drives. Before he realizes it, he's only got one turn left before Tommy's house. Well, he's here now.
Inside, Tommy is 25 minutes into a movie he doesn't know the name of when someone pounds on his door. "Okay, okay, I'm coming, hold your horses."
He opens the door to find Buck, panting and face twisted with sadness, fist raised to hit the door again.
"Hey, Buck." Tommy says, and sees him visibly flinch. Tommy's heart breaks just a little more.
His voice is small and sad when he asks, "Can I come in?"
Tommy nods and opens the door wider. Kicking off his shoes, Buck follows Tommy to the living room where he gets parked on the couch. Going to the kitchen, Tommy fills two glasses with water.
"What happened?" Tommy asks, sitting as close as acceptable, despite longing to pull Buck into his arms and shield him from whatever hurts him.
"Eddie's moving. Back to Texas." His voice is smaller than Tommy's ever heard it. It doesn't fit with the exuberant, joyful man he grew to love. Tommy lets the silence sit, giving Buck time to gather his thoughts. And if he wipes a tear off his cheek, Tommy will never admit to seeing it.
"Why, Tommy?" Buck breaks the, tears threatening to fall, "Why does everybody always leave me? And logically I know that Eddie moving to El Paso isn't him directly leaving me, but when he told the team today, he said that now that Shannon is gone and Chris may as well be, that there's nothing left for him in LA anymore."
Tommy's heart shatters, listening to Buck- Evan's shaking words and breaking voice. His face cycles through fourteen emotions in fourteen seconds. "Oh Evan." Tommy finally says, softly.
"How, how can he say that? I'm here, you're here, the 118’s here, Pepa is here. I didn't want to make it about me, but this feels a lot like he's leaving me by saying that. First it was Maddie, then Abby, then you. And now Eddie." Buck is defeated. And he looks at it. Shoulders hunched in, trying to make himself as small as possible. Buck faces Tommy, with a look on his face Tommy never wants to see again. He’s going to punch Eddie for making Buck feel this way, even if it wasn’t directly his fault.
Tommy's breath catches on you. He never thought about what breaking up would do to Evan. It makes sense that he would see it as Tommy leaving him, not setting him free. Because he didn't want to be set free.
“Evan, I am so sorry.” Tommy tells him earnestly, not only apologizing for Eddie.
Buck looks at him, a look of wonder creeping onto his face. “You called me Evan.”
“Yeah, I did. And I need to say something, I shouldn’t have left you that night. I was trying to protect my heart, but in the process I destroyed yours. You didn’t deserve that. I’ve spent the last three weeks trying to justify it, but I miss you so much that it hurts.” Tommy breathes deep, collecting himself before he starts crying. “I regret it. Not what I said, necessarily, but how I said it. I should have left the conversation open so we could talk but I got scared and ran.”
“Why were you scared?” Buck asks, moving closer to Tommy.
“I fell in love with you. And it terrified me, because you don’t deserve to have someone like me, with all my baggage and flaws loving you and holding you back.”
“Tommy, I never felt that way. I’m not perfect either. And now I realize that I’ve been putting you on a bit of a pedestal, which wasn’t great, but it doesn’t change the fact that I do admire you. And I love you, baggage and all. I know I jumped the gun a bit by asking you to move in, knowing you have a whole house to your name, but what I really meant by that was that I’m ready to take the next step. Start getting into the nitty gritty stuff in our pasts, lay everything out on the table, really get to know each other.”
They sit looking at each other, having moved closer while they talked. While they confessed their love for each other. Buck is crying now, and Tommy’s not far behind.
“I don’t need to figure anything out because I want you. I want us. I know you set things at my pace before, but now we are going to go at yours.” Buck says, tentatively reaching for Tommy’s hands. Tommy's face shows surprise, and he turns his hand over under Evan’s, gripping his hand tight. They are both crying now.
“I want you too. I never should have let you go. I never want you to ask yourself why people always leave you ever again.” Tommy pulls Evan in, half in his lap, arms wrapped around each other. Evan tucks his face into that spot in Tommy’s neck where he fits like it was made for him. Evan makes a sound, curling his body into Tommy’s.
“I love you.” Buck murmurs.
Tommy presses a kiss to Evan’s curls, and whispers, “So you’ll take me back?”
“Always.”
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