#‘I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed’

[thereoncewasagirlnamedjane]

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN.

PAIRING — bucky barnes x f!reader

CONTENTS — ficlet; fluff; slight angst; established relationship; body image issues [tw: hysterectomies]; self-indulgent to the max.

SUMMARY — When your relationship with Bucky begins to progress physically, you decide to divulge some very personal information.

WORD COUNT — 1.3k

NOTES — so i struggled with whether or not to repost this due to its unique and potentially triggering subject matter, but what the hell. experiences like mine should be told. and i want you all to know you’re beautiful :3 yes, you! 🫵🏻 i will accept no notes on this <3

✩ masterlist ✩ library blog

Of course, you don’t need to tell him anything.

The relationship is still so new, and it isn't like Bucky would be able to tell—could he? You can probably take this little secret of yours to the grave and it likely wouldn’t affect your relationship whatsoever.

But Bucky isn’t like any of the other men you’ve been with. He’s sweet and kind and so very loving, even if he doesn’t often get the chance to show it. And whether you’re out in the field together or back at home safe and sound, you do trust him completely.

Your rational brain knows he, of all people, would never treat you as something less than. Your irrational side, the part of you that has been disappointed time and time again, paints a different picture.

What if, just like your exes, he finds you repulsive after he learns what’s bothering you? What if he withdraws, tosses you aside like some days old garbage?

You hate it. You hate the part of you that doubts him, that is so full of doubt and fear despite the fact that you’ve fought aliens and mad titans.

But you have a policy of always being honest and upfront with your partners. At the time you had the procedure done, you didn’t think your medical history would be a big deal. These things happened, couldn’t be helped, and it didn’t change your lifestyle or overall health—in fact, your quality of life has improved dramatically since.

Regardless, the very necessary hysterectomy you’d gotten left you without all the parts that, according to some people, made you a woman.

Your ex-boyfriend actually recoiled when you told him, a decision you made just as things were getting serious between you. You thought you’d nip it in the bud in case the topics of marriage or children ever came up, considering you wanted neither of those things and the latter was no longer physically possible for you.

He couldn’t see past the health complications you would’ve had to live with if you hadn’t gotten it done. He accused you of lying to him, insisted you’d somehow betrayed him, and clearly didn’t understand what a hysterectomy actually was no matter how much you tried to explain it to him.

If you’d told him before you’d ever been intimate, he was audacious enough to confess out loud, he never would have touched you in the first place.

You never felt so undesirable and so ugly in your entire life. You ran back to the compound after the breakup and straight into Natasha’s arms, who didn’t ask any prying questions but made promises of revenge, torture, and murder.

You resolved to never date again. You swore off men and decided to throw yourself into your career. You did have a pretty good one, after all. What more did you need?

Well, him.

Bucky won you over the very first day you met, looking every bit as tense and anxious as you felt whenever you walked into a crowded room. You somehow plucked up the courage to walk over and introduce yourself, welcome him to the team.

He turned away from Sam and Steve at the sound of your voice, the scowl melting off his face and turning into something else entirely as he almost dropped his beer. With your quick reflexes, you managed to catch it before it shattered on the floor, handing it back to him with a small smile.

“Sorry, thanks,” he mumbled, eyes locked onto yours as he clumsily took back his drink. “I’m—beautiful, you’re so—Bucky.”

“I’m sorry?” You asked, still grinning.

“I mean—I’m Bucky,” he sighs and squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head as he took your hand and shook it, still flustered. Steve and Sam, however, exchanged a look that said they would never let him live this down.

What followed was a slow but sweet courtship. Bucky was evidently a fan of taking things slow, which you didn’t mind at all. You liked that he was a little old-fashioned, always buying you flowers, holding out his arm for you to take as you walked down the street to the restaurant where he’d made reservations. He calls you “sweetheart”, and he always kisses you like it’s the very last time.

A dream come true, that man is. With your ex, you understood you just so happened to pick a particularly bad apple out of the whole orchard; the asshole was just one guy. Not everyone would feel the way he did, and you know Bucky would never say or do anything to make you feel bad about yourself.

Your own brain, on the other hand? He’s going to think you’re disgusting. He’s going to break your damn heart and you won’t survive.

And to make matters worse, lately, he can’t seem to keep his hands off you. Bucky grows bolder each day, steadily moving past all the sweet smiles and coy glances across briefing rooms. One time, you were even caught feverishly making out in a supply closet by a mortified-looking Pepper Potts. You couldn’t bear to look her in the eye for days.

But because Bucky pays attention, observes much more than he speaks, he can tell you’re holding something back. Even as he’s got you in his room, straddling his lap while the two of you kiss like a pair of hormonal teenagers, his hands relentless and seemingly roaming everywhere all at once, he can tell you’re distracted.

He’s not always an angel, because he plays dirty. He pleads for you to tell him what’s wrong, to spill your heart in soft hushed tones, his lips planting sweet kisses along the curve of your jaw.

You confess embarrassingly quickly for an intelligence agent who’s been trained to withstand literal torture. You turn away from him in shame as you tell him about the surgery; you don’t have a reproductive system, you no longer menstruate, and you’re technically in menopause.

You need hormone replacement therapy, and you cannot ever have children. By some people’s standards, you are incomplete and always will be.

You move to leave, to retreat from his piercing stare, but Bucky winds his arms around you. He hooks a finger under your chin and gently turns you back to face him. His eyes soften at the sight of your watery ones and he kisses you again, chastely, sweetly, this time.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t really care what parts you do or don’t have,” and again with those magical hands of his, he sets out to prove it to you.

They cup the sides of your face with reverence, one cool thumb caressing your kiss swollen lips. They then slowly begin their descend down your neck, ghosting over your chest, and smoothing down your belly, drawing soft lines toward your pelvis.

“Do you care that I can only ever hold you with one good arm?”

Your heart cracks at that thought. “No, I—!”

“You’re so beautiful. You don’t even know, do you?” Bucky then proceeds to ravish every part of your body with his sweet yet sinful mouth, leaving literally no inch of skin unkissed, only pulling back when he’s left his mark. “Thought you were a goddess the first time I saw you.”

“Oh, stop it,” you scoff, your cheeks warm, your arms curling around his shoulders.

“Still have my suspicions, actually,” he grins before grabbing your hips to flip you onto your back, swallowing your startled yelp with another searing kiss. Bucky doesn’t give you time to catch your breath before he’s tugging your clothes off, making you laugh at how eager he is, and tossing them carelessly onto the floor.

You feel exposed and vulnerable underneath him, but when you look up he only looks back at you with adoring eyes.

“I promise, sweetheart, you look all woman from where I’m standing.”

FIN.

© 2025 by thereoncewasagirlnamedjane. do not repost, translate, or copy to third party sites. no part of this work may be fed into any AI software or websites. minors are asked not to interact with my blog; you are responsible for your own media consumption. followers with zero engagement, serial likers, and blank/ageless blogs will be blocked.

[inexplicifics]

A modern Witcher AU ficlet for @domaystic 2025 prompt 5, withered flowers, also on AO3:

“He’s not coming back, you know.”

Jaskier tears his gaze away from the vase of withered flowers on the windowsill and glares at his best friend. “He will. He’s just…late.”

“Jaskier,” Priscilla says, very gently, “it’s been a month.”

Jaskier takes a shaky breath. “And no one’s found a body, so he’s not dead.”

Priscilla sighs, but she turns the subject to their mutual nemesis’s most recent terrible album, and Jaskier manages to distract himself for the rest of the afternoon with ragging on Valdo Marx and writing half of a new duet and going down a delightful rabbit hole of learning about the history of chocolate chip cookies.

And then Priscilla leaves, and Jaskier is alone in the too-big house again. He slumps down in the breakfast nook and reaches out to touch one flower petal very delicately. They’re nothing special - not storebought roses, not hothouse orchids. Just buttercups, gathered by the side of the road, because Geralt is secretly a complete and utter sap.

He always brings Jaskier flowers when he comes back from a contract, and Jaskier puts them in a vase on the windowsill and sighs happily over them until the next ragged bouquet.

Usually, Geralt takes a couple of contracts a week, and the flowers don’t have time to wilt more than a little.

Usually, Geralt isn’t gone for a month.

He’d said this would be a longer contract, yes, but Jaskier had thought he meant a week, maybe two at the outside. Not this endless awful waiting. And Geralt’s phone just goes straight to voicemail, and his brothers aren’t picking up their phones - not that Lambert is ever great at it, but he’ll usually answer texts at least - and the horrible waiting is driving Jaskier mad.

He doesn’t realize how long he’s been sitting there until his phone rings, over on the counter where he left it, and he startles and discovers the sun has set and the entire kitchen is dark. He fumbles to his feet, tripping over the table leg, and catches himself on the counter with a curse.

Suspected Spam, the screen reads, and Jaskier pushes the reject call button with another muttered obscenity and flicks on the light. Dinner. He should eat, even if his appetite is terrible these days. Priscilla will be so disappointed in him if he admits to skipping another meal.

He’s rummaging in the fridge for whatever might still be edible - there’s leftovers from a dinner out with Essi, that’s probably still good - when he hears a car pulling into the driveway.

He slams the fridge shut and goes scrambling down the hallway, tripping over his own shoes and thudding against the door, scrabbling for the doorknob for a long moment before he manages to flip the lock and yank the door open.

Geralt is standing next to his battered, well-loved old station wagon, gaunter than he ought to be, shoulders slumped with exhaustion -

And in one hand he holds a little clump of buttercups, the yellow petals seeming to glow under the porch light.

“Geralt,” Jaskier breathes.

Geralt gives him a tiny, weary smile. “Sorry I’m late.”

Jaskier half-tumbles down the porch steps and tackles Geralt back against the car, clinging to him tightly; Geralt lets out a soft oof and wraps his arms around Jaskier just as hard.

“You asshole, I thought you were dead,” Jaskier mumbles against Geralt’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” Geralt says, nuzzling at Jaskier’s hair and inhaling deeply. “Phone fell in a swamp.”

“Of course it did,” Jaskier sighs.

“Missed you,” Geralt admits. “There kept being more kikimoras.” There’s a vast weariness in his voice; Jaskier can only imagine day after day slogging through a swamp, forever chasing horrid creatures, bone-tired and filthy and injured.

“Come on,” he says, straightening up and kissing Geralt gently. “I’ll draw you a bath.”

Geralt smiles and offers the buttercups. Jaskier takes them reverently.

They’ll look lovely on the windowsill, a brilliant gold reminder that Geralt is home at last.

[sturniololuvz]

can you do a fic of matt finding out his daughter is on birth control becuase she's doing it with her boyfriend and her mom/matts wife knew but his daughter didnt want him to know and he kinda freaks out because he thinks hes losing his little girl

“Still My Little Girl”

Matt wasn’t snooping.

Okay — maybe he opened the wrong cabinet in the bathroom looking for cotton swabs, but he didn’t mean to find the little orange bottle with Y/N Sturniolo printed on the label.

He stared at it, heart dropping as he read the prescription.

Birth control.

He stood there for a moment, frozen, trying to process it.

Why wouldn’t she tell me? Does this mean she’s…? She’s sixteen. She’s still a kid. My kid.

“Matt?” his wife’s voice came from behind him, soft, hesitant.

He turned, holding the bottle in his hand. “You knew?”

She sighed, already anticipating the storm. “Yes. She told me a couple weeks ago. She asked me not to tell you.”

“Why?” Matt’s voice cracked, a quiet mixture of hurt and disbelief. “Why wouldn’t she come to me?”

“She thought you’d freak out.”

“I’m not freaking out—” he snapped, then paused, catching himself. “Okay, I am freaking out, but not because she’s on this. I just…” He looked down at the bottle again. “I didn’t think we were there yet.”

“She’s being safe, Matt. She’s being smart.”

“She’s sixteen.”

“She’s also respectful, responsible, and she loves her boyfriend. You raised her right.”

He sat on the edge of the tub, staring at the tiles. “I didn’t think I’d find out this way. I thought when that part of her life started, she’d come to me. I thought she’d still need me.”

“She does,” his wife said gently, sitting beside him. “But she’s also growing up.”

⸻

Y/N came home later that night, backpack slung over one shoulder, humming to herself until she saw her dad in the living room.

He stood up.

She immediately froze. “You know.”

Matt nodded. “Yeah.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Mom said—”

“I know what she said,” Matt interrupted, voice calm but tight. “I just… I wish you had said something.”

“I didn’t want you to look at me different,” she mumbled.

Matt walked over slowly. “Sweetheart, I’m not mad that you’re on birth control. I’m not mad that you’re growing up. I’m just…” He took a shaky breath. “I’m scared. Because in my head, you’re still five years old and scared of thunder. And now you’re doing grown-up things and making grown-up decisions, and I don’t get to protect you from everything anymore.”

Her eyes softened. “I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“You couldn’t,” Matt whispered, pulling her into a hug. “But damn, it’s hard watching you grow up.”

She hugged him tightly. “You’re not losing me, Dad. I’m still your little girl.”

“You better be,” he muttered into her hair. “Just… maybe don’t rub it in that you’re smarter than me now.”

She laughed into his chest. “Deal.”

⸻

[pochiperpe90]

[ENG] Death Stranding 2 between future, Marinelli and the pandemic: interview with Hideo Kojima (parts about Luca and Alissa)

You have always chosen new actors for each of your works. What is the process or criteria by which you select them?

Take Luca [Marinelli], who plays Neil: he doesn’t just appear in cutscenes. When the character appears as an NPC, you also have to record sounds, groans, breathing, grunts… and this part seems to never end. It’s tough. And of course, the actors are also working on other projects.

Then it’s all about connection, just like in Death Stranding. My casting process always starts with actors I like. I watch movies and series and think: “I want to work with this person”. Then I contact them directly to present my concept.

Is there a scene or performance by an actor in Death Stranding 2 that you are particularly proud of?

Yes. There is a scene between Neil and Lucy. You may have only seen one so far, but there will be many more interesting ones later.

I have already told on several occasions that I saw an Italian film, Martin Eden, with Luca Marinelli. It really struck me. Maybe I saw it before the pandemic, but I wrote a commentary for the promotion of the film in Japan. After this, Luca sent me an email: he told me that he had been a fan of mine since his childhood and that he had read my commentary on the film. He asked the distributor for my contact details, and that's how we met.

When I thought about involving him, I knew that his character had to surpass the one played by Mads Mikkelsen. I asked myself: "Is it even possible?".

The character of Mads could not return in Death Stranding 2, so I knew that some fans would be disappointed. I had to find someone who could go beyond. I remembered Luca, I wrote to him directly and offered him the role. He accepted immediately.

I was also looking for an actress to play Lucy, but in the midst of the pandemic it wasn’t easy. One day, Luca asked me if I had found his “counterpart”. I told him no. He told me that his wife (Alissa Jung, ed.) is an actress and also a director, so we met and I found her really brilliant, intelligent, perfect for the role of Lucy.

We scanned them both in the midst of the pandemic. Neil also has some scenes with Norman, while Alissa, who plays Lucy, mostly has scenes with Luca. I can’t say more, so as not to give away spoilers.

Luca, in the meantime, was filming a series, M: Son of the Century, directed by Joe Wright. When I offered him the role he was beautiful, he looked like a young Alain Delon. But at the time of the scan he had changed: I asked him what had happened. He replied: “I’m gaining weight to play Mussolini.” We couldn’t do much, so we scanned him as he was.

A year later, at the time of the motion capture, he had changed again. I was like, “Oh my God, that’s not the Luca I was expecting,” but we solved it digitally. It was a big problem, but the series he shot is really good!

Most of the scenes between Alissa and Luca are just between the two of them, and the interesting thing is that, being husband and wife in real life, they have incredible chemistry. Luca comes from the theater, Alissa is an actress and director – sometimes she would try to take over on set too! We shot at SIE studio in Los Angeles, which is a huge studio, almost like a Hollywood set. A couple of my crew and I would go and manage the shots, but there were a lot of other people there including technicians, makeup people and others. But when Luca started acting, everyone came over to watch. I’ve never had anything like that happen to me.

SpazioGames

[anna-scribbles]

last one i promise(<—lie)

[the-writing-bre]

Literally the 2nd time ever posting on here, but I’m just dumbfounded by the many different avenues they could’ve actually taken before coming to this!

[byjove]

Philomena is a real complainer of a cat, which I love about her. A true bitch and moaner. You pick her up when she doesn’t want be touched? Rwowhhhhhhh. You stop her from doing something she shouldn’t be doing? MAAAAAOWWWWW. Bored? Maeowwww. Stressed out about something? EHHHHYOWWWW. She is so loud and persistent with her complaints that I would worry she was actually deaf if she didn’t freak out at loud noises. She just loves to complain!

[otissbluebearshirt]

respectfully, this is a TERRIBLE idea and you’re about to lose the majority of your fanbase, myself included, because we can’t afford to eat, let alone subscribe to another streaming service

[weirdglassthing]

Youll never guess what I started!!

While watching the first episode I forced myself to figure out how to draw rett and it paid off look at him!!

Avantris singlehandedly forcing me to learn how to draw men

Silhouettes because they look shockingly baddass, Barbie pyke because Jesus do not leave his hair unrendered, and the sketch because I find it funny

[hilariousnameplaceholder]

Wild as fuck to leave us on a cliffhanger of mark reintegrating and have the entire next episode have nothing to do with mark reintegrating

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #97

The Justice League fought hard against the anti ecto acts but unfortunately it wasn’t enough and the laws were passed anyways but not before a clause was added to them that states the JL had the right to pull a ghost out of a facility of they had potential to work for them. When they see the potential hero Phantom is caught by the GIW they of course do their best to acquire him. Unfortunately the government sees Phantom as JL property now instead of his own person. Phantom seemed content being trapped on the watchtower and explained it was better than whatever the GIW was planning. Superman thinks something weird is going on with the ghost as when he supposedly went to bed in the room he was assigned he’d temporarily gain a heartbeat again. Constantine is just glad the young prince hasn’t decided to kill anyone in the US congress yet for passing such a ridiculous law. Batman’s adoption senses are tickling.

[spirkbitch]

i’ve been attempting to understand for a while why i hate so much that a video of the january 6th insurrection was used in star trek, and aside from how much it confuses the timeline (eugenics wars in the 90s, nuclear winter in the early 21st century, but somehow all sorted out by 2016 and trump was elected president?), i think i’ve found part of my problem with it.

it just seems like an easy cop out to get ‘progressive points’, a quick way for the writers to show you where they stand, without even an attempt to fit it into the timeline in a way that makes sense.

my main issue is that star trek has, of course, always dealt with complicated issues, but it used to be so much more thought out. there used to be metaphors, allegories, explanations that actually made sense (though sometimes it wasn’t spelled out for you) . The Cloud Minders, Let That Be Your Last Battlefield (tos) and The High Ground (tng) are just a few episodes off the top of my head, that deal with similar, difficult, situations. Even episodes like A Private Little War, which clearly hasn’t aged well, was very obviously an allegory for proxy wars, a very real and pertinent issue at the time it came out.

but the thing is, you have to think between the lines to understand them, none of them are so heavy handed as to just directly show a video of a historical event just to say “hey guys this is bad”, like it was only put there to prove the point that the show runners don’t support that.

one issue this brings up for me is, while trying to find others that agree with me on this i just keep coming across the sentiment “politics shouldn’t be in star trek”. if you’ve managed to miss the politics this whole time then i regret to inform you that your skull may be made of lead.

it’s hard to discuss real opinions on a show when so much of the criticism is flooded with “it’s too woke!! why is there politics in star trek!!!”

star trek has always been an overwhelmingly progressive show, (accounting for the fact that it started in the 60s of course) but unfortunately a lot of people have managed to miss that, a lot of the progressive points have ‘aged out’ of the show, and no longer make the point they used to as clearly as they would have had you watched them when they came out. now it seems that writers are overcompensating to drive home the point that it’s a progressive show.

to people who missed how progressive it already was, this makes it look unnecessarily ‘woke’ and like it came out of nowhere, for the rest of us who were paying attention, it seems very heavy handed and like they’re trying too hard to achieve something that old trek did effortlessly.

[goreberry22]

[ask-the-colony-tree-siblings]

Gourmand: Any minute now.

Hunter: …I-

Arti: I’m sorry!

Hunter: Huh?

Arti: I-I’m so sorry. For attacking you, and for- for everything. 

Arti: I’ve been such an asshole to you.

Hunter: …Yeah you have been an asshole. But I fucked up too, I didn’t know what I was saying. I thought… 

Hunter: …it doesn’t matter what I thought. I shouldn’t have said that. I, uh… I-I heard about your k-

Arti: Don’t. It’s in the past now.

Gourmand: Is it? 

Gourmand: You attacked him over saying something that triggered you, so no, it doesn’t seem to be all in the past. 

Gourmand: It isn’t fair to hurt someone for not knowing something that you never told them. 

PART ONE IS DONE!!!!!!!!! Part two will probably come in about, uh, seven years, give or take. /j

(It isn’t perfect, but it’s been too long and I needed to get the first part of this comic out. I’m honestly super happy I finished, because it was unnecessarily hard lmao. Anyways I’m gonna ramble in the tags now)

[bnha-trash]

justice for lov ☹️

[gonetoforks]

PLEAAAAAASEE REMEMBER that disney’s still on the BDS list. as a polynesian myself i absolutely refuse to give micheal mouse any money for “representing indigenous people” (or whatever it was my white mom was saying) while they’re cool with indigenous people being bombed and starved and whatnot