#— ( my god i woke up in the middle of the night to write im so sorry )
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To my pen pal:
Hello again! I guess both of us need to start writing more then. But yes, I guess it is pretty exciting. Seeing everyone getting their letters definitely helps contribute to that.
And yeah, people were getting a bit too comfortable in their own dormitories. Which isn’t a bad thing! I’d be pretty annoyed being downgraded as well (and I was, but not anymore!), but for someone to have to deal with all this on their own? For what little time they’ve had, they’ve made progress. And I’m sure having someone like you helping them out is bound to make them feel better too. Although I am curious… why do you not attend classes? If that’s a question that can be answered. It might be a silly one, but I’ve always been quite curious about stuff.
As long as you have something to want for, it is never too hard to gift someone. Getting something is better than getting nothing at all, right? But drawing is a nice thing to pursue! I’ll keep this in mind. But for myself… I’m not really a good artist. My doodles in my workbooks will prove that much. I like music, but not actually playing the instruments myself. I probably have the skills for it, but I don’t know what instrument to play…
This place looks like it would suit a piano. Maybe I could sneak one in and play some tunes for practice. This place could use some. Or maybe we could convince everyone to just sit and listen to some music? If they don’t yell and claw at each other first. Tensions feel high with certain people here…~
Another question for you before I stop writing. Probably should’ve asked it earlier but I kinda forgot. What kind of stuff do, or would, you like to draw? There’s a lot of stuff here you could take inspiration from if you don’t quite know yet… if you’re interested in the older style, that is.
I think that’s everything now! And hey, we’re writing to each other. I pretty much consider you my friend now. :) Can’t wait for your reply! Write to you soon!
From your pen pal (friend?)
TO MY PEN PAL ( Friend! )
my apologies for the late reply! had to take care of an accident up at campus...
oh but I'm glad to hear you've gotten properly accustomed to the change! some people have a harder time with shifts from their normal. I know of that reaction all too well. do you have any favorite thing about ramshackle so far?
as for why I don't attend classes, the answer is simple silly. I don't have any classes to attend! you may wrack your brain as to why all you wish.
oh I'm sure you're a lovely artist my friend! art is somewhat of a difficult pursuit because of one fact alone. we're always our own biggest critic. It's a human flaw I've seen displayed in so many people over and over again. I find it fascinating. though, I'm not even sure if I'll fall pray to that myself. self-criticism is kinda built into me.
y'know I've always admired instruments myself! especially brass instruments like a trombone, french horn, tuba. they're so shiny you can see you reflection in them and their sound is big and LOUD! never fails to make me smile! I hope you're able to find your instrument of choice. life is easily told through music, once you find your instrument you'll be able to tell your own story.
Playing music here...you might want to ease everyone into that~ our student body is unfortunately well known for it's viciousness. I'd hate for someone to complain and get upset just by some piano. It's always better to test the waters first!
With drawing...is it odd to say i want to try a bit of everything? realism, cartoon, still-life, I want to dabble in it all. Your mention of an old style does remind me, a cartoon rubberhose style is one I'd like to try as well.
I know you said you aren't confident in your doodles just yet but maybe we can draw together, or just hang out. I'm just thrilled to have another new friend to talk to. I do love my dorm, but things are a little samey~ new possibilities are right up my alley.
I'll sign off for now, it's late while I'm writing this anyway. see you in the next letter my friend!
Sincerely,
YOUR PEN PAL
#𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 – ( ic )#nru: exchange 22#— ( my god i woke up in the middle of the night to write im so sorry )
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HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode ten :: MADNESS, BADNESS.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴lewis hamilton x y/n
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔lewis + y/n = combination
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ excessive cussing, none.
☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3
y/n: lew are u awake
lew <3: yeah i’m up
y/n: wait did i wake u up
lew <3: no no dw i couldn’t sleep
lew <3: why are you up tho doll?
lew <3: it’s almost two in the morning
y/n: i couldn’t sleep either <3
y/n: remember the demo lyrics i showed you like three days ago??
lew <3: the one you began writing on the boat?
y/n: yeahhhh that one
lew <3: yeah ofc
y/n: can u help me finish it?
y/n: if you’re not busy ofc
lew <3: never too busy for you doll
lew <3: plus i’m not really doing anything rn
y/n:
lew <3: you and those memes lmfao
lew <3: how can i help you doll
y/n: oh
y/n: i was actually hoping you’d come over
y/n: i’m just chilling in my home studio
lew <3: studio you said???
lew <3: you don’t even have to ask twice
lew <3: putting on my shoes
y/n: omg oh my god okay omg
y/n: y/n x xnda????
lew <3: whewwwwwww 😮💨😮💨😮💨
lew <3: let me cook alright
y/n: get in there lewis
lew <3: omw !!!
y/n: pls bring roscoe
lew <3: dw i will
lew <3: i said your name once and he immediately woke up
y/n: 😭😭
y/n: i miss him sm
lew <3: on our way doll :)))
y/n
♡ liked by lewishamilton, yukitsunoda0511 and 7,204,108 others.
y/n it’s just me and you
tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamitlon
592,495 comments.
username Y/N’S IN THE STUDIO ALERT 🚨
username BITCH IS THAT ROSCOE???!?!?????!?!?
→ username IT IS SHE TAGGED THE ACCOUNT
→ username ROSCOE MUSICAL DEBUT???
→ username producer tag is woof woof
username y/n???? and lewis??? in the studio???? i’m excited????
username YESSSS NEW MUSIC SOON PLS 🔥🔥🔥
username LET HER COOK LET HER COOK 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
username YES GOD PLS
username Y/N AND XNDA????
→ roscoelovescoco y/ns ands roscoe
→ username HOE YOU AINT SLICK
→ username LEWIS DROP THE SONG IMMEDIATELY
→ username OKAY SO THIS JUST CONFIRMED IT
→ username WORLDS COLLIDING????
→ username IM SOOOOOO NORMAL ABT THIS
username LEWIS AND Y/N IN THE STUDIO????
→ username i personally, am frothing at the mouth.
→ username real
carlossainz55 babysitting duty?
→ y/n third wheeling duty actually
→ lewishamilton i was the third wheel 🙋🏾
→ username OHMYGODOHMYGOD
→ username Y/N X XNDA WHEN
[liked by lewishamilton]
username OMFGGGGGGG
roscoelovescoco i’s missed yous y/ns 🐾
→ username i once again say, hoe you ain’t slick 🤨
username there’s so much going on i don’t know where to look.
username LEWIS WAS THEREEEEEEE
username BRO IM BOUT TO EXPLODE
y/l/nestate glad you’re in the studio but please get some sleep 🎀
jensonbutton another banger album coming?
→ y/n maybe 🤭
→ username HUHHHHHH
username FATHER JENSON
→ username ANOTHER ALBUM????
→ username MA’AM YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AND DIP
→ username Y/N COME BACK 🔪
→ username AYEEEEYOOOOOO
→ username SCREAMINGGGG
→ username BWOAHHHHHH
→ username Y/N I SWEARRRRRR
☆ IMESSAGE with : BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
princess george: so y/n
y/n: jesus christ
princess george: wrong
honey badger: lmfao
y/n: oh this feels like a threat
yukino: it is 🔪🔪🔪
PIERRE GASLYYYY: ^^^
y/n: OH???????
princess george: you and lewis huh ��
y/n: don’t ever use that emoji ever again omfg
my baby lando: look at her trying to dodge the topic
babygirl alex: no bc literally
chili!: what were you doing in the studio w a boy in the middle of the night young lady 🤨
y/n: papa????
chal eclair: answer the question bae ❤️🔪
wifey lily: yet another man trying to steal my wife i see
angel carmen: no bc has he no self respect? frolicking with a married woman?
girlfriend kika: my wife specifically??
y/n: oh my god 🤭 babe i’m blushing
alabono: bro answer the question
y/n: 🙄🙄🙄🙄
y/n: he helped me with a demo i’m working on
y/n: we wrote a song together is all
yukino: a part of me wants to believe you but the other says you’re hiding shit 🧐
y/n: omfg yuki how dare you
chal eclair: oh so you just hung out?
y/n: yeah man
PIERRE GASLYYYY: “yeah man” right.
PIERRE GASLYYYY: you liar
PIERRE GASLYYYY: roscoe was still at your house this morning when kika facetimed you so lewis is also probably still there
yukino: SO YOU ARE HIDING SHIT???
y/n: wAIT
babygirl alex: LIARRRRRRRR
angel carmen: HOW COULD YOU
y/n: HOLD AWNNNNNN
honey badger: CAN WE EVEN TRUST YOU MATE
chili!: ^^^^^^^
y/n: OKAY
y/n: LISTEN
my baby lando: 👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼
y/n: roscoe is at my house bc i’m babysitting him today, lew is busy and i’m keeping an eye on him while in the studio
chal eclair: LEW?????
chal eclair: HE HAS A NICKNAME NOW??
chal eclair: I WAITED TWO YEARS TO GET A NICKNAME AND HE GETS ONE EASILY?
chal eclair: THE BEST I GET OUT OF YOU IS SHAL LEGLEG AND HE GETS A CUTE “LEW”?
chal eclair: no.
chal eclair: tell him to pull up
babygirl alex: relax u can’t hurt a fly even if you wanted
yukino: it’s okay charles i’ll hurt him for you
y/n: neither of you is hurting anyone
my baby lando: i smell a potential father figure
y/n: omg shut up
honey badger: she says as she giggles and kicks her feet
y/n: STOPPP
wifey lily: OH SO YOU ARE GIGGLING KICKING YOUR FEET
yukino: down MISERABLE
y/n: NO IM NOT
princess george: what did he do that has you kicking your feet 🤨
chili!: ^^^^^^
babygirl alex: ^^^^^
yukino: ^^^^^^^
honey badger: ^^^^^
y/n: we didn’t do anything oh my god
alabono: we didn’t ask if YALL did something
alabono: we asked what did HE do
alabono: exposed ur self dummy
wifey lily: i’m so proud of you for clocking that babe
alabono: 😌
my baby lando: WAIT
honey badger: YOU TWOOOO DID SOMETHING
yukino: y/n, spill or i crash into lewis next race
y/n: listen. good fucking god.
y/n: i’m literally powering off my phone after this.
y/n: we kissed in the recording both
my baby lando: HUHHHLDOWIFIW
wifey lily: WHATTTTTDOYOUMEANKISSED
chili!: KISSED??? LIKE MWAH MWAH
alabono: MWAH MWAH IS KILLING MEEEE
PIERRE GASLYYYY: Y/N ANSWER THE PHONE
babygirl alex: THEY KISSEDDDDKDOSK
girlfriend kika: LOOOOOOSING IN MY MIND
honey badger: BITCH COME BACK HERE
angel carmen: MY KNEES ARE WEAK WDYM KISS
princess george: YOU DID WHAT WHERE
chal eclair: HE STILL GOT A NICE ENOUGH NICKNAME BEFORE ME MATE.
y/n added to their story!
☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3
lew <3: today was as long as a mf
lew <3: i got home and wondered why i couldn’t hear any barking
lew <3: forgot my boy was with u lol
y/n: oh fuck u seem rly rly tired
y/n: it’s okay i’ll drop him off dw
y/n: lol at least one of us got work done
lew <3: was ur day not good?
lew <3: what happened doll
y/n: roscoe is soooo fucking adorable :(
y/n: i literally couldn’t pay attention to anything that wasn’t him
y/n: he’s so so so cute it’s was so distracting 🥹 and the problem was that i had him on my lap the entire morning and when i stopped cuddling him he started whining and crying n i felt like a monster
lew <3: awww
lew <3: ur so cute
lew <3: i feel terrible knowing i can’t take him everywhere with me
y/n: he’s so babie i love him soooo much
lew <3: more than me?
y/n: yes obv 🙄 know ur place
lew <3: lmfaoooo
lew <3: come over already doll
y/n: aw man ur taking roscoe away from me :’(
lew <3: i miss my son
lew <3: and i miss my doll too
y/n: making me blush lew
lew <3: if not me then who will
lew <3: btw ur staying for dinner
lew <3: u don’t have a say in this :)
y/n: yes sir!!
lew <3: oh?
lew <3: sir huh?
y/n: 🫢🤭
lew <3: come over.
y/n: omwwww
lewishamilton added to their story!
#☆ — ¡h4m1lt0ns!˚⁎⁺˳ .#f1 x y/n#f1 fanfiction#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lewis hamilton x reader#carlos sainz x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#pierre gasly x trader#yuki tsunoda x reader#alex albon x reader#george russell x reader
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Heyyyy are you still requests?? If yes..................
Last night i relived a painful memory when a loved person told me to shut up in front of our friend group and it was so humiliating and overwhelming, i went dead silent for the rest of the month but still played cool with everyone and everyone knew i was destroyed, wasnt leaving home that much yet and the person who told me to shut up was going trough some shit (ON THAT DAY) and actually never apologized...
SO SORRY FOR THE VENT BUT IT WAS NECESSARY FOR THE PLOT I SWEAR.
What if the reader is the one being told to shut up by none other than RAFE CAMERON who is a very close friend and he told the reader to shut up out loud in the middle of a party in front of your friend group (Kelce and Topper) and the reader also play it cool but it collapse at themself like a dying star and all their light is sucked by the black hole it became. But unlike real life, Rafe doesnt need people telling him he fucked up and he felt terrible and a few weeks later he sees reader on a party, unusually quiet, being dragged by their friends around trying to cheer reader up and the reader still trying to play it cool but the damage was showing and maybe Rafe take the chance to approach you but he doesnt know what to say or what to do so he acts like nothing happened?? IM SORRY THIS IS SO CONFUNSING I JUST WOKE UP AND I HAD TO WRITE THAT BEFORE THE MEMORY FADED. Sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable, just ignore it if you didn like ittt!! I love your writting btw i'll never forget that one ask i did and you answered about Rafe choosing between reader and a lover!!!!
and ask 2:
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talking too much- r.cameron
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a/n: HELLO to the both of you! thank you two so much for requesting, and very sorry that this happened to you :( I'd let you talk my ear off about anything any time :) (ps, great song choice)
pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader
summary: i suggest you look at the requests
warnings: reader kind of loses her spark, rafe is a confused and stressed asshole, reader becomes very insecure, feelings of not being good enough, rafe gets very stressed at the end (i think that's it?)
not entirely proofread
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It was finally nearing the end of June and you were planning your 4th of July party with your friends. Topper, Kelce, Rafe, you, Sarah, and a few of your other friends sat around the table, thinking up ideas for what parties to drop into, and what you were going to wear, etc. You were excited, that was no crime. You’d always been the most excitable in the group, it was just part of your bubbly personality, there was no issue with it. No one had ever been more than a little irritated with it before, no big deal. You’d just apologise and remember to tone it down for those people, but your closest friends weren’t those people. Your closest friends liked your personality, your closest friends liked you. It didn’t matter how loud you were.
“And then I guess we’ll-”
“God, do you ever shut the fuck up?” Rafe cursed.
The room went silent. You stood still, frozen as people’s eyes turned to you. Sarah offered a look of sympathy, she knew how much you valued Rafe’s opinion, especially since you had a slight crush on him. You felt yourself recoil. How could he be so rude? All you were doing was giving ideas to the group, it’s not like anyone else was trying to speak much, and Rafe definitely wasn’t adding to the conversation. At least, he hadn’t been for the past hour, just sitting in the corner with his leg bouncing and that stupid vein protruding from his stupid neck. You slumped back in your chair, embarrassment filling your mind as you thought over every other interaction with him and the group. Were you annoying? Did they all actually hate you?
“I don’t hear you talking much Rafe,” Sarah shot back. “Something to say?”
Rafe rolled his eyes. “Fuck off Sarah,” he scoffed and waited for you to bounce back and start speaking again. You didn’t. He looked up as the group started speaking again, going off of all the plans you’d started. You were just sitting there, on your phone.
You just waited until someone actually asked you a question to give your input, and even then all you said was; “Sounds good.”
He’d fucked up. Big time.
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It had been a week since ��the incident’, and Rafe hadn’t seen you. He felt awful, absolutely disgraced after what he’d said. He was stressed, it was a bad moment, and he took it out on you. He was sorry. But how was he supposed to tell you that? How was he supposed to explain how sorry he was, explain that he was just stressed? How would you believe him? You two had never been the closest in the friend group, not to say you two didn’t speak, but you two weren’t exactly attached at the hip like you were with Sarah, or Kelce. All you’d ever been to him was nice, not something he was sure he deserved, but he appreciated it all the same.
How could he get back to that?
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“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Sarah begged over the phone.
“I’m tired, I was working all day-”
“Come on, you’ve been dodging all week! 4th of July is coming up, I don’t want to hang out with Kelce and Top without you,” she whined,
“I’ll be there for the 4th, I’m just busy right now,” you sighed. “I promise I’m ok,” you lied.
“If you’re staying home because of what Rafe said, I’ll kill him,” she swore.
“I don’t give a shit about what Rafe said,” lie. “I’m just busy, promise.”
Sarah sighed. “Alright, see you on the 4th!”
And with that, you hung up. The last week had been one long pity-party that made you feel even worse about yourself, deciding that your friends were better off without you, especially when you can’t even bounce back from one tiny insignificant comment from one random guy. That’s what you thought anyway. But now, you had 3 days before the 4th, and you weren’t sure how you were going to get the courage to face any of them.
Not that they hadn’t reached out. Everyone who was there (aside from Rafe) had called or texted to ask if you were ok, and apologised for not saying anything. Kelce had felt the worst, since he was supposed to be your best friend, and he hadn’t said anything. You brushed them off, promising them it was fine, promising them you were fine. They barely believed you, but you somehow convinced them that you were busy. You told half of them that you were packing for your move, and the other half that you had gotten a job at your mom’s company. I mean, technically you were a few weeks out from moving away and you should be packing, and technically you did just get a job at your moms’ company (managing the online presence and doing admin work), but really both those jobs were easy. You could’ve done them for a few hours, then seen your friends. But you didn't want to. You didn’t want to feel like a burden.
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The day of the 4th rolled around and Sarah picked you up with all the girls in the group in her car. You looked gorgeous in your short red dress, at least that’s what Sarah told you. You kept your mouth shut as the girls gossiped and sang along to songs, only interjecting when truly necessary. When you got to the beach, you managed to break away from the girls and get a drink, standing alone as you watched the night go by. You liked people watching, you found it interesting to see the small micro-expressions on peoples faces, the snippets of their conversations, and everything in between.
“Hi,” Rafe smiled softly. He was in front of you, blocking your view of the people you were looking at.
“Hi,” you answered meekly.
He stood there for a moment as you tried to look over his shoulder, but the group were gone. You sighed in defeat and turned around to pour yourself another drink.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Fine thanks,” you answered. “You?”
“Good, fine… yeah,” the awkwardness in his voice almost made you physically cringe. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“It’s been like a week?” you questioned. In the past week, Rafe had realised how much he missed you, and how much you added to the group. He missed how you brightened up everyone, how you kept the peace by being close with almost everyone, how you made him laugh.
“What have you been up to?” He scratched the back of his neck, his nerves almost getting the better of him, almost making him turn around and not do this. Almost.
“Not much. Working, packing, usual stuff,” you shrugged.
Rafe’s expression faltered. “Packing?”
“I’m moving in a few weeks,” you explained. “So you won't see me for a while.”
No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Absolutely not.
Rafe felt his stomach sink. “Why?”
“‘Why’ what Rafe?” you asked, genuinely confused. Why, out of all people, would he care?
“Where?”
“Just main-land, but a bit further into the city so I’m moving schools,” you shrugged.
“But it’s our senior year?”
“Yeah? And?”
“We all said we’d do it together, remember?”
“It wasn’t my choice to move,” you scoffed. “And also, why are you acting like this is new information? Tonight is my ‘last hurrah’ get-together. We’re doing the stupid sleepover.”
“W-what?”
“We didn’t invite you,” Sarah butted in. “You were a dick, now you reap the consequences.”
You rolled your eyes at the shocked look on Rafe’s face. “Night Rafe, see you around.”
Rafe stood frozen as you walked away, shocked. Had he really not been listening for so long? Had he really missed that? You were moving, you were gone. And there was nothing he could do about it.
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obx masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron one shot#rafe obx#rafe cameron x reader fluff#rafe imagine#rafe cameron x reader angst#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#obx imagine#obx#obx fic#obx fanfiction#obx smut#outer banks#outer banks x reader
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ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴜʀᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛ
ᴛᴇɴᴛᴀᴄʟᴇꜱ/ᴛɪᴛꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ➠ ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ
pairing: intergalactic alien idol! wooyoung x cyborg call girl! reader (fem) feat. ai! san
genre: futuristic au, idol au, smut
summary: your company pleasureplanet™ gets a call from the most sought after idol in your galaxy, requesting you for an evening. he shows you a side his fans have never seen before.
w.c: 2.5k
warnings: switch! wooyoung, reader adapts to whatever woo wants for her own pleasure ^^, alien heat cycles, woo’s got an big alien cock, implied voyeurism, praise, begging, tentacle sucking + fucking, deep-throating, titfucking, choking kink but not in the way you think, unprotected sex, just…so much cum and alien goo lol, breeding/impreg kink, actual impregnation (in this economic climate??), oviposition, creampie, cum inflation
a/n: i’m giving my lord and savior cthulhu all the credit for bestowing this idea upon me,, it’s not like i’ve been wanting to write something this heinous for months and months… where’d you even get that idea from?? haha…ha. but fr im so happy i finally got to write out something that’s akin to a hentai lol i’m living my best smut writer life rn. please heed the warnings and if you did so i hope you enjoy :3
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ᴘʟ4ʏɢ1ʀʟ ʙʏ ʟᴏʟᴏ ᴢᴏᴜᴀÏ
0:01 ❍─────── 4:28
Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%
ᴘʀᴇᴠ | ꜰꜰꜰ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ɴᴇxᴛ
Wooyoung woke up from his sleep in a cold sweat, the flashing lights projecting from the room’s flatscreen making patterns on his glistening skin as he sat up, his body filled with an odd, though familiar heaviness that he knew he would have to take care of sooner than later.
“Shit, is it happening already?” he whispered to himself, groaning as pulled himself to the edge of the king-sized bed to sit comfortably. “San, do a body scan.” Wooyoung rubbed his tired eyes, waiting for his in-house AI system to kick in, a familiar ding suddenly ringing out inside the empty room.
A projection of a youthful man with sharp, feline-like features appeared on the wall closest to Wooyoung’s bed. He looked in Wooyoung’s general direction, giving him a cordial smile and a bow. “Good evening, Wooyoung.” Blue rings of light formed along the edges of San’s brown eyes, studying Wooyoung’s form. “It appears that your BPM is above normal range. Abnormal body temperature and cortisol production have been detected. Unusually high levels of arousal and semen production are recognized as well,” the AI stated matter-of-factly, blinking. “You seem to be exhibiting symptoms of an illness that members of your sector are susceptible to contracting during this time of year. Would you like to see an in-depth analysis?”
“Yes, San.” Wooyoung waited for a moment until a prompt appeared on the small computer built into his wrist, tapping a few options, until it projected various images to him. The application showed him what he was in denial about discovering, the bright red letters indicating that he was indeed smack dab in the middle of an intense heat, and to make things worse, he was carrying. To make matters even worse, he knew his kind was required to transfer his offspring to a willing partner, or else his own body would become a birthing ground.
Knowing that he had too many fans relying on him in the intergalactic entertainment world, it simply wasn’t an option for him to retire. He would have to find someone that could host them for him, but where? And so late in the night? Who could possibly–
“Hey, sexy, are you looking for a late-night lover?” an ample-chested member of the spider dimension with eight hooded eyes and fearsome mandibles questioned Wooyoung from the bright TV screen, bringing a bit of their web together into a pattern that formed a heart.
“Oh?” Wooyoung murmured, realizing that just perhaps his reluctant, desperate prayers to his galaxy’s god were in the process of being answered.
A curvy gray alien leaning seductively against a bar table continued the spiel, “Someone you can unload your deepest desires onto? Someone that can make your wildest dreams come true?”
“Well, look no further.” An enthusiastic, though automated voice took over this time, as the screen showcased the company’s shiny logo, while it flipped through a slew of optional playmates across the screen like pages of an open book, showcasing the wide range of choices Wooyoung had. “Our playmates at Pleasure Planet will take good care of you. For price options, call (XXX)-XXX.”
Wooyoung bit his lip, about to look away from the TV when you popped up on the screen, drawing his attention to you, your human-like beauty mixed with the metal intricacies of a robot standing out to him.
“Well, what are you waiting for, baby?” you asked Wooyoung through the screen, laying across a plush velvet couch in only a small black slip, your back arched, running your fingers up along your sleek body, until you brought them into your hair to push it behind your ears, your fingers brushing against the small lit-up chrome circle near your temple. “Give me a call~”
Wooyoung gulped so hard, he almost swallowed his Adam’s apple, knowing what he had to do. He rubbed at his sweaty neck, feeling more beads of sweat trickle down his neck to his chest, the loose sleep t-shirt that was hanging off his shoulders now tinted a darker color. “San, call Pleasure Planet and book me an appointment with the cyborg girl.”
“Right away, Wooyoung,” San obeyed, bowing at the waist, before his image dissipated, the wall returning to a blank state.
࿏࿏࿏
A soft ding sound filled the empty space of Wooyoung’s expansive cyber chamber after some time went by, finally distracting the overheated alien from his current predicament. He continued to lay in a fetal position on the side of his bed, too overwhelmed by the dizzying amount of arousal that was swirling around his insides like a shoal of fish. “Is…nnngh…she here, San?”
San’s form materialized onto the wall once more, scanning his Master’s crumpled up body, running a number of tests, finding that the situation was beginning to grow imminent. “Yes, she is, Wooyoung. Please begin the mating ritual as soon as possible, to prevent less favorable outcomes. I’m sure your company wouldn’t want you–”
“You think I don’t know that, San?” he snapped back, holding a hand to his disruptive abdomen, groaning in both pain and unexplainable pleasure, as what Wooyoung could only describe as molten-hot lava churning around inside his core, just aching to spill out of him. “Where the fuck is she? I need to–”
“I’m here for you, Wooyoung. Please, put your worries to rest,” you replied as you entered his room, Wooyoung’s eyes following your movements like a moth to a flame, taking slow steps up to his bed, shedding various articles of your clothing until you were bare for him.
“O-oh, hi,” Wooyoung croaked, doing his best to sit up in his bed with his head against his pillow, beads of sweat already soaking into it, strands of black hair sticking to his forehead. He watched you climb onto his bed and crawl towards him, his eyes shifting from your face to your body, trying to get his spinning mind to stop for a moment. “Wh-what’s your name?”
“Y/N, but you can call me whatever you want. I’m yours for tonight~” You mounted him, lowering yourself down to feel his aching length pressing into your heat through his boxers.
“Y/N…” he repeated softly, entranced by you.
Smiling down at him, you gently ran your hands up his rapidly rising abdomen, feeling up his soft body along the way, eventually slipping him out of the sweater he was in, eliciting a whine from the alien below you. You brought your lips near Wooyoung’s parted ones, whispering against them, “Oh, baby, you’re in bad shape, huh? Need me to take care of you?”
Wooyoung nodded weakly, his hands on your thighs, feeling your soft skin underneath his heated grasp. He squeezed into it, swallowing harshly, his Adam’s apple visibly bobbing inside his throat. “Y-yes, please, it hurts so bad…”
San, who was still watching from the wall, cleared his throat, doing his duty and informing his Master of important information. “Master, please return to your body’s natural state soon. Your vitals are starting to worry me.”
“I got it, San,” Wooyoung grunted, glaring at the AI, before returning his attention to you. “Oh my god…” He groaned at the sight of you running your hands up and down your perfectly created body, your fingers slipping past the metal, glowing seams that sealed you together, until you got down to your glistening cunt, your fingers spreading yourself open for his viewing pleasure, all while grinding back and forth against his slippery, clothed length. “Y/N…fuck…I just…don’t want to scare you…”
“You won’t, trust me. Please, let yourself go, Wooyoung, it’s okay,” you reassured him softly, licking at your fingers before they returned to your perfect pussy, rubbing at your clit, feeling zaps of electricity course through your body, your artificial synapses firing off inside your brain. “I’ll take care of you, I promise.”
Inhaling sharply, Wooyoung closed his eyes for a moment to ground himself, knowing you wouldn’t judge every inch of him like people on the Universal Net did. Little by little, he let his body return to its natural state, small, ridged scales growing in patches along his skin, which exhibited an electric blue tint wherever his blood settled in the most, long, slick-covered tentacles emerging from his form, some of them idly curling around different parts of your body — the most notable change to his body being his cock, which tore out of his boxers from its size. It was no longer human-like, but instead resembled his wriggling appendages, had prominent ridges, leaked a steady flow of blue, viscous pre-cum, and had an obvious girth to it, thick, heavy-looking, and perhaps capable of stretching you open to your particular model’s max capacity for cock.
“Oh, Wooyoung,” you sighed, small digital hearts forming within your hooded eyes, cupping the alien’s flushed face, bringing your lips to his. “You're beautiful.”
Wooyoung melted into your kiss and body respectively, bringing his hands up to your own face, holding it, his tentacles exploring the rest of your form for him, a few curling around and in between your tits, others sliding along your thighs and hips, while his slippery cock idly rubbed back and forth along your cunt like it had a mind of its own, sending waves of pleasure into the both of you. “Fuck, I need you so bad, Y/N…”
A string of saliva broke your kiss as you pulled back, squeezing your tits together around the tentacle that was between them, licking at the wriggling tip. “How bad, baby? How bad do you want to fill me up with your cock?” you asked breathily, feeling the tentacle begin to thrust faster and faster, dripping blue pre-cum onto your slick skin. “You want to fuck your cum into me, Wooyoung? Fuck me so deep, it reaches my womb?”
“Y-esss, please, oh my god, please,” Wooyoung moaned out, grabbing at your hips, continuing to grind his large, ridged cock against your cunt, unable to stop gasping for air from how hard he was breathing.
“Then, come here,” you purred, reaching down to grab Wooyoung’s cock and pushing it inside you, feeling it fill you up inch by inch until your hungry cunt swallowed it in its entirety, your bodies essentially becoming one.
Any semblance of composure completely left Wooyoung’s burning body in that moment, encouraging him to grab onto your hips like handlebars and drive his cock deep into your cunt over and over, his tentacles still eagerly exploring the expanse of your skin, some rubbing into your clit, others still preoccupied with your now bouncing tits, an additional tentacle loosely wrapping around your neck, the tip of it sliding along your cheek like it was licking you. “Feels so fucking good being inside you, Y/N, I’m gonna melt.”
“Take me, Wooyoung, do whatever you want to me,” you told the alien in between pants, opening your mouth when Wooyoung’s tentacle rolled down your other cheek and across your lips, eventually slipping inside your mouth when you opened up, the small round disk built into your temple continually flashing blue the longer your body short-circuited with pleasure, your sensitive flesh squelching lewdly each time they joined together in slick, gooey harmony.
Wooyoung watched you with a fondness that bordered obsession, drooling at the sight of his appendage fucking itself into your bulging throat that it was wrapped tightly around, still bringing you down onto his cock at an unnerving speed, the heaviness swirling around inside his lower abdomen growing more and more prominent. “I’m going to breed you, Y/N, did you know that? I’m going to fill you to the fucking brim with my kids.”
You gurgled happily around the thrusting tentacle that was currently stretching out your lips and throat, your body shuddering with pleasure once load after load of blue goo spilled into your willing mouth, dripping down the sides of your chin and traveling along the rest of your slicked-up body. The tentacle left your mouth with a lewd pop and slowly wrapped around your waist instead. “Fill me up, Wooyoung, please, fuck it in me, deeper, I need it,” you begged him, desperately driving yourself down on his thick cock, cupping your own overheated cheeks, the hearts inside your eyes growing more and more bright each time the alien’s cock slipped deep inside your sloppy cunt.
“Gonna fuck you so full, Y/N, gonna plug you up with my cock so you have to be my breeding bitch again and again,” Wooyoung mindlessly moaned out, simply driven by his overwhelming lust and instinctual urge to procreate, the heaviness moving closer and closer to his pulsing cock.
“Yes, give it to me, please…!”
San, who had been silently observing the entire time, cleared his dry throat up to announce, “Delivery of offspring will be completed in…three…two..one…”
Neither you nor Wooyoung could tell who had came harder between the both of you, your joined moans and pants filling up the heavy air in the room. Wooyoung’s hands were cemented against your lower abdomen, able to feel as each warm, egg-like object had been deposited into your contracting cunt. “Feel them?” he asked under his breath, looking up into your barely open eyes.
“Yeah, I feel them,” you breathed, feeling dizzy just from the sensation of being filled to the absolute brim, Wooyoung’s cock acting as a dam until he knew that nothing except loads of his cum would come out afterwards, a small bulge present inside your stomach being the proof of what had been done to you.
Wooyoung let out a small whine, slowly pulling out of you, his cock flopping lifelessly onto his pelvis, his eyes focused on the way your used hole fluttered around nothing, dribbles of electric blue cum dripping out, until a flood of it came seeping out in between your sticky bodies. With a blissful smile on his face, Wooyoung rubbed your stomach with gentle circles, humming to himself. “Let me know when you’re ready for another round, okay, baby?”
You smiled softly down at him, placing your hand over his, ready to ask him for another round as soon as possible when San spoke instead.
“I hate to interrupt, but you have quite the schedule tomorrow, Wooyoung…practice at 9, vocals at 11, a fan meeting in the Twilight Quadrant at 3….” San slowly informed in a disheartened tone, a drop of sweat cascading down the side of his sleek face.
Wooyoung growled, grabbing a pillow and tossing it at the wall, the image of San blurring temporarily. “Shut off! Shut down, San!” He looked back at you, rubbing your hips gently, unable to stop smiling at your pretty cybernetic face.
San disappeared from the wall, but his voice remained. “Just so you know, I don’t actually have a shut-off button, Wooyoung. I’m sentient…”
Wooyoung’s fingers clenched into your hips, his eyebrows twitching downwards. “Oh my god, San, just wait till I fucking figure out how to hack your programming…”
San cleared his throat, shaking his head, though it wasn’t visible to either of you, especially since you were both too busy eye-fucking each other. “Again, I’m sentient. That’s out of the realm of possibility.”
“San!”
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© kitten4sannie, 2024.
#cultofdionysusnet#cromernet#wonderlandnet#ateez#ateez smut#ateez scenarios#ateez wooyoung#wooyoung#wooyoung smut#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez imagines
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Also, do you write for Kid or Killer…………? Is so PLEASE SOMETHING ANYTHING I BEG, EVEN JUST HCS FOR EITHER OR A POLY
-🌷 the Eustass and Killer (and barto ofc) obsessed Tulip
I ENJOY THEM SO MUCH AND I THINK ABOUT THEM SO CONSTANTLY YOU ASK I PROVIDE ❤️
nobody will understand how much i miss the pre time skip killer fit like he looks good in post timeskip but GOD.
Warnings: Cursing, kid being a dick
dating both Kid and Killer there will never be a dull moment
Kid is loud and rowdy and Killer is quiet
you and Kid bicker and poke fun at each other like you’ve known each other your whole life
When you and Eustass are at each other's throats it's Killer who comes and steps in to break the fight
Acts like a mom and is like “I don't care who started it I'm going to finish it”
Because you're too damn stubborn and Kid has such a thick skull Killer has to separate you more than not
Kid may not seem like he cares but he does
he shows it awfully though
he pull up to your bedroom door at an ungodly time of night before going to bed himself
he barges in and bangs on the open door just to wake you up
after your initial reaction which was to grab a weapon and hide under your bed you finally realize its just him
you crawl out and give him a nasty glare
“What is it Eustass? cant it wait until morning?”
“i made this for you asshole”
he gives you a new bracelet or necklace he made himself before leaving without another word
he leaves your door open just to annoy you
you slam the door before returning to bed
the noise from the door being slammed woke Killer awake and he knows exactly what happened
when you all wakeup you get an earful from Killer about being quiet at night because the crew needs to sleep in order to function properly
Killer is almost the exact opposite from Kid
any fights you have with him he will resolve in a normal, calm manner
he lets you sit in the kitchen with him while he cooks
you can talk his ear off and he wont butt in or interrupt you
he does get his piece in when you pause for a moment
most nights he cuddles with you since Kid stays awake pretty late
and if you do stay up late like Kid, Killer will sleep on whatever furniture available and just hold you in his lap
Killer is insecure about his laugh and face so when you first started dating he would only let you kiss his hands or mask
but slowly he warms up to the idea of you seeing his face and every now and again he moves his mask up his face more when you want to give him a kiss
when he does eventually remove his entire mask you cover his entire face in kisses and tell him hes perfect to you even if he doesnt think so
Killer loves it when you play or brush his hair
you help him style it and always puts it into a ponytail for him when hes cooking
Kid lets you kiss him only if you can reach his face
he will make you climb on furniture and jump around just to do so
when hes done making you work so hard he squats down only to tease you even more
“can you reach now, Tiny?”
“well now youre not getting a kiss for that”
“WHAT!? NO THATS NOT FAIR! I WANT A KISS AND I WANT IT NOW”
“Im not giving it to you for that!”
“GIVE ME IT NOW I DESERVE IT”
hes so demanding
when Killer sees Kid giving you shit for being shorter than him Killer will push the back of Kid’s head down so you can reach him
You kiss Kid’s cheek and then go hug the blonde while Kid complains that having Killer help is cheating
on nights where Kid is just worn out and actually decides to go to bed when you and Killer do its an amazing cuddle session
Killer has to separate sleep in the middle which he doesnt mind but only does this because you and Kid will Bicker about anything and everything
“STOP laying on me you big red asshole”
“well youre cutting off my oxygen when you lay on my chest” (you dont he just wants to have the last word)
“God you act like you cant bench triple my weight”
“you two fight like children just shut up and go to sleep” Killer had to physically move either one of you to the other side of him just so the poor guy can sleep
there are some nights you and Kid can sleep next to each other without fighting but you two are always up till 4 in the morning giggling and laughing about the most random ass things
“okay would you rather spend 24 hours in an abandoned mall with 10 cobras or 1 gorilla but you cant use your metal arm or devil fruit”
“Well obviously the gorilla because i feel like i could fight it without those”
“i didnt know youre that dumb”
“oh really what would you pick?”
“the snakes obviously”
“you dont know where they are though! one could drop from the ceiling and theyre harder to hurt! at least you can see the gorilla”
“Snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them if you leave them alone you will be fine”
“But if they bite you youre done for”
“Youre done for if you try and fight a gorilla!”
“i personally think i would intimidate it”
“Kid you cannot intimidate a gorilla, you would be better off with the snakes like they said now shut up”
you and kid do shut up for exactly 4 minutes and 56 seconds then start yapping again
Killer and Kid are the best boyfriends that anyone could ask for
#x reader#one piece x reader#one piece#eustass kid x reader#eustass kid#eustasscaptainkid#killer one piece#killer x reader#kid x reader x killer
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★ ’ BEWITCHED.
★ Gojo satoru x gn!reader
★ IN WHICH ! your lover, Gojo satoru woke you up in the middle of the night just to ask you to ride a bike with him. He took you to a nearby river, just to stargaze and admire you the moon.
★ WARNINGS ?? SFW, pining..?? Cursing, Non Proofread, other than that, none.
★ AUTHORS NOTE : Yall, idk how much times im gonna be changing my theme, but I changed it again 😁😁.. ANYWAYS!! was supposed to be studying, but felt the motivation to go write sooo here we are💀
“Wake up” - “Wake up!!” Gojo said, on top of you. Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice, you were worried that something had happened.
You groaned, still super groggy. “Huh?? Whats wrong??” - “Its really late, you know?” you said with a worried but irritated tone. Why did he have to wake you up in such a sudden??
“Lets go biking” He said with a wide grin. You sighed and turned to the side “Im laaazyy..” you said “Please?? I reaaally wannaa..!!” He pleaded, and you just couldnt resist “Get off me first then!” You scolded him.
You slowly sat up as he got off from you, rubbing your eyes. You checked the time and saw that it was just 1am. The night was cold, breezy and it felt like it was about to rain.
“do i need to change my cloth—” you got rudely cut off by your beloved, he took your wrist and was practically skipping to go outside and ride a bike.
The moment you stepped into the outside, you were hit by the strong, cold wind. You both were in your silly, matching pyjamas. Your teeth almost immediately started clattering, he seemed to notice it but he was cold as well.
You were about to continue walking to your bike, when you felt gojo's warm embrace. He didnt know how to warm you up, so he just thought of this. “I know it wont completely warm you up, but thisll do. Right?”
“thank you, satoru” you smiled so warmly at him, he felt like he was also already warm just because of your mesmerizing smile. He returned the smile, but it was cocky and teasing now.
“You cant live without me, can you?” he playfully asked “Hmm, maybe i can maybe i cant” you returned his teasing demeanor “oh please, ofcourse you cant. Im your amazing, sweet and caring boyfriend!!” he said, grinning ear-to-ear.
You giggled out of his silliness, “i suppose so, i cant disagree with that statement” you were still smiling. “see? Im so cool right!” he was getting even more annoying by the second.
“yes yes, whatever you say satoru” you replied. He finally let go of you, the embrace surely kept you both warm. You continued to walk over to the bikes, one for you, one for him. You were kind of annoyed that there was 2 and he couldnt just bring you with him, but you decided to go along with it.
The both of you hopped onto your own bike, “you ready, [name]?” you nervously gulped your spit down. You could ride a bike, but you werent too good at it. But regardless, you put on a tough face “hell yeah i am!” Gojo seemed to notice your nervousness, he didnt think much of it, expecting that youd be good. I mean, to him, you were good at everything.
He started biking first, and god damn was he good. He was so stable and fast, you were breath taken by the sight of him doing things just so..... Utterly perfect. You tagged along, but when you tried to get fast you started to get unstable.
Gojo laughed and decided to tease you “Pfft! Youre so fucking bad at this!” he chuckled “Youre acting as if you dont suck ass at this too!” Obviously, you lied. He was amazing at this. Then he purposely crashed into you. Both of you shared happiness and laughter. This scenario could be a little more romantic if Gojo wasnt such a tease, but it was a cute “date” for now.
He started speeding up faster into a route you had never been to, you felt a bit suspicious but decided to catch up with him anyways. Turns out, he had taken you out to a lake. The moon was very visible, the sound of the water flowing was so..relaxing. There were a bunch of stars, everything looked so pretty. Even Gojo looked prettier right now!
The both of you parked your bikes and sat down on the grass near the river. The sight was so heavenly. You raised up your head to see the stars,, and they were breath taking. Your attention immediately redirected to the stars and the view, but Gojo? In this pretty place? He was still staring at you, admiring you, yearning for you.
“Even in the prettiest place, id still stare at you. Even in a room full of people, id still stare at you. You bewitched me, and youre so absolutely mesmerising.”
#˚ʚ♡ɞ˚gwens4vr#jjk fluff#jjk drabbles#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu gojo#jjk satoru
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The last days of July // Jack Russel
Summary: His mating season started a few days earlier than expected.
Rating: 18+ minors avert your eyes
Length: 1.3k
Warnings: established relationship, almost smut, wolfman doing things with his fingers, scent kink (maybe?), desperate Jack, really not that much in here
A/N: finally watched it last night and i freaking love it! i just want jack to ruin me. anyway, im typically not a writer, but i had to get this out of my system. might even write more, who knows. apologize the mistakes i surely made, my english is rusty
The sun shone down on him as he walked the path along the river, just trying to clear his head before he returned to his home, to his girlfriend. It’s the last week of July, a difficult time for him, like every year. Normally, he would spend this time of the year away from here. He didn’t want to put her through his… situation.
Being a werewolf brought its own special problems, one of them being that once a year, he went trough something that he could only describe as a mating season, the primal desire, need, to mate and ultimately breed making it very difficult to keep in control, especially when he was near his girlfriend. This year he couldn’t get away in time, the circle starting earlier than usual, and he woke up in the middle of the night with a need so strong, he could barely control himself. He quickly got up and left for a walk, so he wouldn’t take advantage of his girlfriend’s still sleeping form.
He heaved a heavy sigh, trying to think of what to do. In his mind, there were two options to handle it. He could talk to her, explain to her what was going on, trying to keep the damage as small as possible. Or, he could just leave right now without going home first, maybe call her to let her know everything was alright once he was far enough away. He mulled it over in his mind. Leaving was the far more responsible way, but he just couldn’t shake the images that flooded his mind. How she was laying underneath him, moaning his name in the most beautiful melody he has ever heard, clenching around him as ecstasy took over her body, begging him to keep going. And her smell, god, her smell. He couldn’t get enough of it.
“Fuck.” He could feel his pants starting to strain, cock twitching from the memories alone. He licked his lips, making up his mind, and took the path back to his home, where she was most likely awake by now, wondering where he went. Just a short while later, he stood in front of the door. He could hear faint music playing inside. He took a deep breath, trying to gather enough willpower to not just bend her over the nearest surface. After all, there was enough time for that later. He needed to talk to her about it first.
His hand was shaking as he reached for the knob. As he opened the door, her smell hit him with such force, he couldn’t contain the groan that escaped him. She was standing there in the kitchen clad in one of his shirts that barely covered her ass, probably making breakfast. He didn’t really know. The only thing he could concentrate on was her smell. It clouded his senses, making it more and more difficult to control his desire.
She didn’t seem to notice him, as she was still singing along to the song that was playing, her eyes trained on the cutting board where she was peeling and cutting fruit.
Jack just stood there in the open door, watching her like she was his prey, which, to be honest, wasn’t too far away from the truth. His mind was going into overdrive as he took a step inside, curiously sniffing the air. There was something different in the smell, something sweeter, something ripe. The realization of what it was hit him like a freight train; she was ovulating.
A deep guttural moan escaped him. All intentions of talking to her went out the window. He slammed the door shut, and only a second later, he found himself pressed against her back with his nose pressed against her neck, hands desperately clutching her hips to press her against him more firmly.
She dropped the knife with a squeak, startled at the sudden touch. The intensity of his now wandering hands surprised her even more. “Jack, what…” A gasp interrupted her as he was now literally humping her, his hard cock insistingly pressed against her ass. He groaned into her ear, his mouth wandering over her neck, kissing and licking every inch of skin he could reach. One of his hands made its way into her underwear, feeling her getting wetter with every move he made. “I’m sorry,” he pressed two of his fingers between her lips, rubbing her clit until she was moaning his name. “you smell so good.”
He didn’t stop his ministration between her legs until she started shaking, moaning, and gasping loudly. “Fuck, Jack… please...” She could feel her orgasm coming, a warmth starting to build in the pitch of her stomach. One of her hands flew to the back of his head, grabbing his hair to keep his mouth against her skin while the other grabbed his wrist between her legs, if she was trying to get him to stop or to make him keep going, she didn’t really know. She could still feel his hard cock pressed against her ass, which didn’t help her current situation of losing her mind.
Jack moaned the whole time, his mouth and nose still buried in her neck. He couldn’t stop now, even if he wanted to. “Need you to cum. Please.”
It didn’t take long for her to follow his request, the need in his voice and his touch driving her over the edge. A gasp like moan tore out of her throat as she clutched the counter in front of her for dear life, fearing she would pass out from the pleasure flowing through her. Jack’s own moan as he felt her coming undone nearly drove her into insanity, and he made sure to ride out her orgasm until she was shaking from overstimulation. “Jack, baby… too much...”
After her words registered in his brain, he pulled his hand free and quickly sucked his fingers clean from her essence, moaning the whole time as he savored her taste.
She was still breathing heavily as she was suddenly spun around and faced her boyfriend, his eyes pitch black from lust. A small whimper left her right before he attacked her mouth, immediately pressing his tongue into her mouth to share the taste. It was hard to keep up with his pace and she tried to break the kiss to get some breath into her lungs.
As she was trying to sort her thoughts and come down from the pleasure, he grabbed her and hoisted her up onto the kitchen table. Jack spread her legs and stepped between them, pressing another harsh kiss to her lips. He ripped her shirt open, revealing her bare chest to his greedy hands and eyes. She quickly grabbed his face between her hands and kept him from bending down to get to her chest. “Wait! Wait, Jack… what’s going on?”
Jack licked his lips, tugging her closer with his hands on her hips. “I need you.” He almost sounded desperate, grounding his still covered cock against her. She looked into his eyes for a while longer before giving him a quick nod. He nodded too, as if to confirm that she wanted it too, before he grabbed the sides of her panties, ready to rip them from her body. She stopped him again, a small grin on her lips. “On the table? We are eating here.”
Jack chuckled and with a tug, pulled her underwear down her legs to carelessly let them drop to the floor. He crouched down in front of her and grabbed her legs in both his hands, tugging her closer to the edge of the table and let his lips wander over the inside of her thighs. “That’s exactly what I’m about to do.”
-----------------------
wasnt too bad, was it?
#jack russell smut#jack russell x reader#jack russell fanfiction#marvel smut#marvel x reader#mcu fanfiction#werewolf by night smut#my writing
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Rosé x Fem!Reader
TW: Mention of S^icide. Please if you're sensitive do not read such stuff idk why i started writing with this... if you struggle pls contact with anyone or even me. Such stories of mentioned can trigger the person, beware.
Contains +18 content
(In)vincible
“Rosie”
“Rosie!! Wake up” whisper yelled i.
It was around 2-3 am and the sound woke one of the lovers with panic.
“Rosie!! Wake up! There’s a sound coming from downstairs!!”
“Ah..” “ that must be washing machine, i started it before..” rosie on the other hand having a hard time to wake up, or to care according to y/n.
“For god sake i- did you have to do that in the middle of the night? We have all day…”
Girl complained but only would echo into the room and get back to herself while her girlfriend already fall back to dream… what was the point?
You see, long time couples sometimes cannot stand each other. Sometimes everything is so still where you were expecting to be all fun and happy. Which is kind of true though. They are happy time to time and would scream to each other the other time.
Rosé is organized person, she’s structured and right on time with everything. She has already planned her next week meal. And y/n is more different and complicated than that. She wants to watch a movie right now and she would and you wouldn’t catch what’s her next move. You, me, bed now and bang bang bangity bang? No, Rosie cannot be active after dinner for 1 hour. Y/N has learnt to wait.
She has learnt a lot to fit in rosé’s life. She fit in just right that it’s her world that Y/N lives in it. Who was she before she moved in? Everything seems alright at some point but is it? Y/N went back to sleep wondering all the answers.
Next morning Y/N woke up like she was just born. Rosé already came back from her morning run and left the curtains full open for her girlfriend to have all the sun light of the morning. Vitamin D at it’s full potential, however Y/N is not.
“Did you have breakfast?”
She startled her girlfriend who was changing and didn’t know she woke up.
“Jeez… how long have you been awake?”
“Just enough to admire all the muscle show you put on” there, Y/N is smiling full even her eyes are not quite open.
“I had breakfast before i left, its actually almost my lunch time”
“You can join my brunch, my lady”
“You take hour to get up, i’ll probably catch you on your brunchinner”
“Is that supposed to be brunch and dinner mix?”
“I’m not good with words just.. you got it”
Y/N smiled and gave up having a meal with her girlfriend cuz she feels like she’s an affair between her girlfriend and her schedule. However rosé has no idea what those small things mean to her gf and she get things on her way.
Saturday and sunday had passed and monday morning Y/N left for work early. Rosie has all the time to clean places alone.
Bzzzz bzzzz (its supposed to be phone ringing)
“Yeah?..” “okay i’ll check it on the website itself” rosé grabbed your computer to mail files to Y/N because her irresponsible ass forgot.
Alright… google… search bar… search history.
‘Why my girlfriend is not the same?’
‘What can i do to make my gf happy?’
‘S***ide help support’
What?
Rosé stared at the screen for 5 min at least until Y/N called her again.
“Rosie can you please be quick this is urgent just send me already”
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“I- okay. I’ll send now”
Rosé has started to contemplate everything after the first shock. She never realised? But Y/N has been with her for years. They maybe don’t wake together and have breakfast together or dinner or make out or… did they being back to friends? What kind of relationship was that? How could she not tell rosé?? How could she- rosé went through all of it until another phone ring from you wake her up.
“Rosie im asking a favour what are you doing? I’m gonna get fired and i’m having all the panic for god sake its just a file! Please!!”
“I’m sending it now” Now rosé sounds so small that Y/N thought it was about her voice tone.
“Okay i got it thank you, look i’m sorry if it was harsh, i got panicked and all and you know my boss with this goddamn presentstion everytime like it’s-“
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Come home when you get off from work”
“Okay… are you really that hurt? Look i’m sor-“
“No it’s all okay, just, for dinner”
“Oh who are you and what did you do to my gf? Because i….“
Rosé is still shocked how Y/N is trying to be silly, funny, all laugh like she’s on holiday at clouds floating around lightly. Rosé cut it short and hung up the phone. She was actually dripping tears.
She cried good. How long has it been since they drifted apart this much? Was she neglecting her much? Was she in her world too much to see the girl sleeping next to her every night?
Questions took a new turn and it was rosé this time. For how long? ….
rosé realised it’s been 2 and a half hours since she was thinking everything and every detail. She decided to get up and plan a delightful night for Y/N. Her favourite food and quality time. They both could use that.
Then around afternoon, she heard the car engine coming from the front while she was staring at rhe blank. She got up immediately to welcome you at the door. She’s not sure what to do with all the overwhelming information she got today but she had one goal, to make you happy tonight. So she waited for Y/N to open the door and suprise her.
“Jeez!!!!! Rosie! What are you doing? Are you about to go out? You scared me”
“Gosh you scared me too, just wanted to suprise you and give a hug. I missed my gf!”
“Seriously what got into you?? Did you watch titanic again and got into your romantic era? It ain’t like you”
And rosé hugged her gf so tightly. She never realised how precious this small thing is.
“Woah baby, did something happen to you?”
“No… I just wanted to appriciate you. Get change and we’ll have dinner, okay?”
“Okay baby, thank you, this is so sweet of you! I’ll be right back. I love you!”
I love you.
I love you.
What was the last time they use that? What if something happened to her and would she remember the last time they actually appriciate this love? She has to shake herself, she can’t loose it all now. It’s ‘her’ night.
“Woah today you saved my life you know? Idk how did i forget my laptop at home. I’m getting old, babygirl”
Did she? Save her life? Cuz she faced the exact opposite fact today. She actually made rosé really happy but rosé blamed herself for not appriciating it.
They ate all the food and rosé listen Y/N talk about her day. And she listen to her appriciating rosé’s effort on tonight and how happy she makes her. She has to learn to return this love.
“I thought you were going out with that outfit, did you wear this for tonight only?” Rosé knows how to make Y/N crazy with skirt and high heel combination even though it’s silly to wear them around the house, she wanted Y/N to get in the mood
“Only for you, Y/N girl”
“You look, like you could kill 5 people from heart attack from directly looking at you”
Rosé took Y/N’s hand and pull her in closer. Lips on lips and its like the last day on earth. Hands on each other like it’s the first touch.
“Ah, okay sorry, we can stop here since we had just dinner and you plan your sex time according to that for some reason. You’re such a weir-“
“Get on my tigh.”
“Wha- like sit? We can get to the couch, i think survivor is playing tonight”
Gosh, how long they have been apart from each other for her to think anything but sex from rosé.
“Y/N shut up and take your underwear off and sit on my tigh.”
“I-“
“I’m waiting.”
Y/N has no idea what happened to her gf but she’s loving it. Rosé took the charge and take off her underwear. Y/N sits on rosé’s thigh which was between her legs. Rosé pushed her knee up to cause pressure on Y/N’s sweet spot.
“Ah… rosé…”
“Grind.”
“Wha-?”
Rosé is impatient and almost annoyed with her gf questioning everything so she grabbed her bum and make her. “Shit rosé i-“ then rosé didn’t give her chance to talk and put her fingers on her mouth. Finally when Y/N lost her sanity and grind by herself on rosé, other hand of her went to grab Y/N’s throat.
“Make a mess” the suction of her fingers turn into bites and that’s where rosé knows Y/N’s body is full of tension. She then released her body on rosé and she hold her. She hold her tight. “Sorry i kinda make a mess on your legs but i-“
“God sake Y/N because i told you so, you talk too much” she grabbed her like a baby and carried her to the bed. You see, rosé may seem like self-centered but she’s the most selfess with her gf. She just sometimes forget how to hold each other. Y/N, already passed out on bed, makes rosé stare at her long enough. She curled up next to her and cannot control her tears. Emotions are too overwhelming and she has not digested any of it. Where would she go to relieve all of it? Who she talk to? Confront Y/N? The night flies away with thoughts…
After days went by, Y/N woke up to the saturday morning with her girlfriends’ arm all around her. She has no idea why rosé cling into her all week out of nowhere. She’s not complaining but she cannot stop wondering why. Just a week ago, rosé seemed like she would avoid her at all cost. But today, they were truely invincible.
“Y/N?”
“Mhm?”
“Good morning”
“Morning love”
….
“I love you”
….
“I love you too”
You see, rosé couldn’t confront her mostly because she didn’t think she would able to handle it. Who can? Instead she tried to give her all. Everything. Although it didn’t take much to things get back to their abnormal normality.
“Rosé”
“Yes, love?”
“I’m off to work, take care okay?” She peck a kiss
“Okay love, you too!”
She was about to leave but she came back to rosé and give her a passionate kiss this time but rosé already turn back to take the ringing phone
“I love you”
Rosé nodded with her while greeting the person on the phone
And she left. Little did she know Y/N wasn’t off to work that day.
Y/N won’t be able to off to work any day, ever.
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Left Behind part 3 (Lucien x reader)
A/n: Im have decided something (drumroll please)! I dislike this perspective. Also this part was slightly rushed even if it came out later than the others (sorry).
⚠️ - meh
word count- 1200 (finally put a word count…)
part 1 part 2 epilogue masterlist
*****
Y/n was going to be the death of him. When had she gotten so gods damned beautiful? Or she'd always been that beautiful and he'd been too blind to see it. No, that couldn't be it, could it? But Lucien sensed a new confidence in her, as if 15 years of raising a child alone had given her a new strength.
She smiled at him but it was guarded, not the joyful, carefree smile she always used to gift him. He had thrown away that gift like it was nothing. Lucien cleared his throat, "Shall we?" He motioned toward the kitchen door where the smell of tomato sauce could be detected. Y/n eyed him suspiciously before nodding slowly and starting toward the kitchen.
When they walked in Jurian and Alex were chilling at the table. Jurian smirked, "You two lovebirds are making dinner." He directed y/n to boiling the noodles and Lucien to cutting the vegetables. As Lucien picked up the knife to cut the veggies he glanced at Alex and Jurian. They were bantering back and forth, sending snarky comments to the other. Alex picked up a blade deftly and threw it at him so it speared his broccoli.
"Stop staring and get to work already!" He smirked and mockingly saluted her. His daughter, he couldn't hold back his smile. And she'll be a lovely emissary one day, he thought. True to his daughters order, he got to work.
*****
When making dinner, neither she or Lucien spoke until Vassa burst through the doors and saw their predicament. She paled. Alex jumped up and dragged the Queen out to presumably tell her what was happening.
Y/n glanced at Lucien to see him done with cutting and watching her intently. She looked away and finished boiling the pasta. Once dinner was ready shel left the males to serve it and went to find Vassa. She found her and Alex outside, talking in the gardens. She joined them while Vassa asked her, "How did you guys end up here? Alex is taking forever."
Patting Alex's head Y/n said, "I was searching for this one and I'd searched everywhere except here so I flew over and found Luci already here, talking with Alex!!
Both females turned to stare at Alex expectantly and she squirmed under their combined stares. "We... just talked, got caught up on 14 years of gossip I guess.
"Guys! Dinners ready!" They all jumped as Lucien emerged from the back door, a tense smile on his lips. "And um, Y/n can I talk to you?"
The others all looked at Y/n as she nodded and all but shoved them towards the door. "Don't wait to eat on our account" she called as the door shut. Turning to face Lucien, Y/n smiled at him tightly.
Lucien nervously grinned back and began, "look Y/n, I'm really sorry about 15 years ago. First I didn't know you were pregnant and I know that's not a good excuse or reason for you to forgive me. I'm not sure it would have impacted my decision but you need to know the day before I left I got a letter from Elain. It said that she was willing to try with me and give us a chance if I stopped seeing you. So I slept on it and left the next day because the letter ate off all my insecurities, like you would leave me because you are way out of my league. I know that's not a good excuse either but just let me continue, please."
Y/n smirked at Lucien. "Ya know Luci, I woke up in the middle the night and found the letter on the counter... but I didn't expect you to actually follow what Elain said. But go on." She crossed her arms and waited.
It was a good five minutes before Lucien throat could work again. "I loved you, I truly did. When I first got to night everyone was so confused to see me and when I told them about the letter Elain claimed she didn't write it and wanted nothing to do with me. I broke down then and Feyre comforted me through it all. We found out that one of my brothers had sent the letter as a cruel joke. She urged me to talk to both Elain and you, to work out my problems. So I tried to talk to Elain but every time she gave me the cold shoulder I thought of your face when I left you. The way I made you cry when I promised myself I would never do that to a female I loved. So for fifteen years I saw your face everywhere and I tried to build up the courage to go find and talk to you. This is the first time I've been outside the night court ever since I left you behind. I left the love of my life behind and I was too afraid to face the consequences of my decisions. But if you'll take me Y/n, I will be yours forever. I never stopped loving you and I never will."
Y/n watches as Lucien finishes and stares at her feet, she studies him, he truly does love her. She smiles knowing he's waiting for her to reject him and a small selfish part of her tells her to wait so he can feel some of the pain she felt.
After a good minute of silence Lucien looks up to see Y/n smirking at him. She stops smiling as they're eyes meet and she carefully leans forward and kisses him. The kiss is light, but passionate and only lasts for about a second, both Far relishing the taste of the other on their tongue. As she pulls away Lucien smiles and pulls her back.
Y/n grins, "Okay Luci but I need to make some things clear. First this relationship if we choose it requires both parties to be completely truthful about anything even relatively important. But Lucien if you are to leave again I don't think my heart could heal again. Besides we have Alex and if you leave, her heart is too young to break. And if you still harbor feelings for Elain then all of this is off and I'm not getting back together." She pulls back and looks at Lucien.
Lucien thinks for a moment before grinning and pulling her back into his arms. "I promise I will not leave you, not for Elain, not for anyone else. I think some small part of me will always care for Elain unless we break the bond. But I am yours forever."
Y/n smiles, "Good enough." They embraced as magic coursed between their souls.
Suddenly whoops rang out through the garden and someone slow clapped. Alex came running and hugged her parents. She smiled up at Lucien, her new father, and an evil grin spread over her face. “I’m so going to beat you in training!”
Y/n smiled down at her daughter, their daughter. “You won’t be able to beat him if you can’t beat me. And you cant beat me.”
Lucien smiled, eyes shining. And nudged Alex out of the way before smoothly reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. Simultaneously opening the box and sliding to his knee he grinned up at Y/n.
“Will you give me the honor of marrying me, my beautiful Y/n?”
a/n: I think I want an epilogue… do y’all want one? It’ll be focused around Alex. Enjoy your day!
Taglist
@thelov3lybookworm
#acotar#bubybubsters#fanfic#acowar#daddy lucien#lucien acotar#lucien vanserra#lucien x you#lucien x reader
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You have such a interesting life 😨
on GOD i do fr fr. actually my life isnt THAT bad 🙄 ive seen worse but yk completely unrelated i went to see my therapist yesterday and there were some rat ass kids there and i think one of them gave me like some fucking sort of disease 😀 cuz like i woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and i had the craziest fucking diarrhea like it was the same experience of when i had covid omfg and i cant fucking breathe… im like slwoly deteriorating
anyways 😌 its midnight and im bored so i think i might write or something teehee😚😚
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i have to preface this by saying (before i started screaming) that it is now *checks clock* 5:15 in the morning LMAOOOO i started this before i went to bed, woke up in the middle of the night, and finished this (also this is irrelevant but i just got a new cat and we went on an adventure thru my apartment so i kept trying to give her attention while also trying to finish this 😭😭)
i haven't seen a fic this long all the way thru in MONTHS. and oh my god... i am so so SO glad i started to get yunho brainrot and found this 😭 i love murder mystery and crime related things and i absolutely adored the slow burn between yunho and mc. the crafting of their relationship in general and their characters !! mwah chefs kiss
i feel like writing aus like this is always taboo but im a huge fan of when fics explore the grey area between right and wrong, and i think u did such a great job w it :'))) i loved how both yunho and mc thought they themselves were monsters, but they were actually more alike than they originally thought. AND THE WAY U WROTE HIM????? HES A BIKER??? DOCTOR??? KNOES THE HUMAN ANATOMY TO AN INTIMATE LEVEL THAT CAN BOTH KILL U AND /KILL YOU/?? idk if that last one made sense, but the final scene, that progression,,, okay one, that was so sexy i literally got butterflies, and two, he'd know the EXACT spots to make u feel something like y'all can't argue
omg and just yn being a clean freak 😭😭 i feel like that's so fitting WAIT I SHOULD'VE STARTED W THIS BUT i remember seeing a prompt that was like this au, the serial killer x crime fic writer thing somewhere and this is like a dream fic come true for me?? crazy. ur insane in the best way possible
OKAY ALSO yn asking yunho near the beginning abt how best to like, kill someone(?) w a dull 12inch knife that's been sharpened too much and HIM DOING IY @*?$*KSND okay. i just need to know what the other guys thought when they found out cuz that's low-key a love language, he was whipped from the beginning
im sure plenty of other people have screamed abt this but the MY GIRL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 U SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME I ROCKETED UP IN BED LIKE SAY THAT AGAIN I DARE U i think my cat thinks im crazy now. and the way yn so valiantly defended the knives 😭 omg i too would also gag abt the knives used to murder people and then used to murder steaks......... i think that addition was just INCREDIBLE. like,,, ofc irl that's gross ik but i think the dramatic irony was great
(mingi and yeosang at the end w "this too shall pass" IM FKCNDK CRYING 💀💀)
okay i can't believe i haven't said this yet but THANK U SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS!! i absolutely loved this to bits and pieces (coughs) but yeah!! hope u have a lovely day/night <3
Guerrilla
serialkiller!dr.yunho x writer!reader
he is a serial killer with morals okay almost a vigilante
dni if you're not comfortable with this trope.
genres and warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive, violence warnings, atz as doctors cameos, some gory descriptions, twisted morals, past trauma, questionable stuff honestly esp yunho's intrusive thoughts, read at your own risk.
word count: ~27k
synopsis: you're a crime fiction writer and you move in with dr. jeong yunho despite his strange, strict house rules. he's very private and you don't mind that, but he's also very cold and unapproachable and you're determined to crack through his walls. little did you know your obsession with gore and crime would melt his heart. Soon, you find yourself tangled in lies, secrets and a detective from your past who suspects yunho and his gang as you navigate thru your relationship with him.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (i had a dream. we talked about it and this happened-)
“You know, if you could just help me bring my bags inside instead of staring at me like I’m about to commit a homicide, maybe you wouldn’t have to complain about the noise and not being able to focus on… whatever the heck you wanted to do.”
Yunho blinked. Was he hearing you right? When you cocked your head waiting for a response, he licked his suddenly dry lips. “I’m just worried about the amount of bags you’ve brought at this hour of night.”
The ungodly hours after midnight. You tucked your hair behind your ears before dragging one of the heavier bags to your room, the floorboard creaking unceremoniously. You heard the groan of your house owner who finally got up after a solid ten minutes of judging you and went to the porch to pick up a bag-
And almost fell on his knees.
“What the fuck did you put in here?”
“What do you think?” You asked, throwing the bag in your room and going to the porch, snatching the bag and dragging it yourself.
“A body?”
“Or two,” you muttered under your breath and again, Yunho thought he was hearing things. “It’s just my books. I thought I mentioned in the form that I’m an aspiring writer and would be coped up in my room reading or writing most hours of the day. I really won’t bother you much, just help me get my bags inside before the rain gets any worse. I don’t want my books getting ruined.”
Begrudgingly, Yunho obeyed, dragging two bags at once just to show you he wasn’t weak. You, however, did not bat an eye, much to his annoyance. After bringing in the last bags, he stood in your room looking around.
“I’m not sure this room is big enough for your books…”
“Don’t worry, I’ve lived in smaller rooms with more books,” you finally cracked a smile. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Jeong. I thought you’re usually doing night shifts?”
“I had a day off today and planned to sleep, but unfortunately, you disturbed my sleep.”
“You’re welcome,” you weren’t going to let him damper the mood. “Since you’re awake now, might as well tell me any rules about the house so I can finally go fix up a meal for myself. And an apology meal for you, though, as the owner of this house, you should be in the kitchen fixing something for your newly arrived housemate. But… I won’t complain.”
Yunho folded his arms, considering you. There was something about you that didn’t make him want to kill you in the most painful way, which was odd for him. He recalled the last time someone moved in with him and he almost dissected him alive. “Nice to meet you too, y/n. I’m trusting you read the rules before you decided to move in?”
“‘Minimal noise especially during the day, no intervening in each other’s business, an absolute no to bringing over people even if they are your family- if you have to, on a three-days notice, and… no getting to know each other. The workshop in the garage and the upper floor is off-limits.’ I believe I got them right?”
“You have an exceptional memory,” Yunho was impressed for once. “Why did you move here?”
“I’m sure you read my response in your form too, but to put it simply, I can’t afford a nicer place, though I’m curious why a doctor is living in such a dodgy little house in a shady town-”
“I, too, need to make ends meet,” Yunho explained even though he could have easily ignored your question. “Circumstances. Besides, I get a whole house instead of a cramped apartment in the city, and my workplace is close.”
“I know! Cramped apartments are suffocating. Even though I’ll only own a room here and share the floor, at least it’s a… house.”
Yunho nodded. “I’ll give you three days to settle down and break any rules except the ones mentioned in the form. Now, I understand that you can cook?”
“Always been a good cook,” you said proudly.
“We can share the kitchen expenses and if you cook enough for the both of us, I can take 40 percent off your rent. Fair offer, isn’t it?”
“Peculiar is what it is,” you told him. “But I won’t question you. If I have to cook, might as well for the both of us. Saves me money in the long run, and I need to save every penny I can.”
“Right. There are a few cabinets locked in the kitchen, please don’t try to open them. I can’t think of any other rules right now, but try to keep it down, will you? And again, the upper floor is absolutely off-limits.”
“Got it,” you nodded. “Let me know your usual schedule so I don’t think there’s a serial killer entering my apartment in the middle of the night.”
Once again, Yunho had to stop himself from twitching in surprise. “What’s your obsession with serial killers and murders? You’ve mentioned them numerous times in the past half an hour.”
“I think the rules go both ways, Dr. Jeong Yunho,” you smiled teasingly, opening one of the bags and taking a deep breath at the amount of books in it. “But if you have to know… my genres are crime fiction and mystery. I hope I don’t scare you away, especially if I ask you something odd about human anatomy.”
Yunho almost gaped at you before shaking his head and exiting your room, absolutely unnerved by you in a mere half an hour. It was crazy- usually, he was the one making people feel alarmed or discomposed, but you were an odd one for sure. However, as with every past housemate, he was sure you were going to get on his nerves and he would have to either bury your bones in the backyard- consequently breaking the ‘code’- or plan something elaborate and chase you out.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to be a pleasant person to share the house with. But when he opened the door at about 1am to a distraught looking girl that didn’t even reach his shoulders carrying six bags, some bigger than her… he wondered if he should kick you right out and remove the ad he had put in on a few websites looking for a ‘peaceful’ housemate. He was sure you must have some thoughts about him too- he wasn’t the most welcoming person and people would eventually get curious about his closed-off personality and start snooping around.
For now, Yunho peeked into your room from the stairs- you had your hands on your hips and were assessing the room, probably planning how you could fit everything in there. He checked the time- he needed to leave soon. Praying silently that you would just fall asleep or something instead of snooping around, he went to his room to get ready.
You, though, had no plans to sleep tonight. You needed to set your room and get some sleep so you could meet the deadline of your draft that was due this weekend- only three days away. You assessed the space in the room again- if you could move the bed to the corner, you could place your computer table and chair there which would be arriving in the morning. You could line the books along the rest of the walls on the floor. You didn’t need any fancy shelves. Thankfully, this room had its own closet so you wouldn’t need to worry about where to fit your clothes.
You exited the room into the living room space, wanting to get the bearings of this house. The toilet was right in front of your room and one of the reasons you moved into this dodgy house was that it was… a good house. A toilet all to yourself was a blessing, and upon checking it looked clean.
The living room wasn’t too big but it looked cosy. You noticed a lack of personal belongings and decided to add a few potted plants on the windows soon. There was no TV but you had a projector and if you moved the couch, you could have a whole plain wall which was perfect to watch dramas when Yunho would be away. The kitchen space was at the opposite end with a large countertop in between and it looked like Yunho had most of the kitchen appliances already.
And at the end where the main door was, there were stairs leading up to the doctor’s space. Off-limits. You wondered why he was so uptight but you figured that as long as he was letting you live almost for free in return for home-cooked meals and maintaining the house, you could tolerate him. It was strange if you thought about it but you didn’t have the luxury to overthink right now.
You finally had a place- better than an apartment, yet something you could afford. You found yourself smiling. You just need to meet your deadlines now and hopefully publish your book by the end of the year- before the publishers change their mind.
But first… coffee.
You went to your room to get the bottle of your favourite coffee blend, which was really a mixture from a few different brands that you had come up with after years of experimentation. You set two cups on the counter and checked the fridge for milk. You weren’t sure about the doctor’s preferences so you made a simple latte like your own. You were just finishing up when you heard the dull footsteps of him descending the stairs.
“I made coffee…” you trailed off- now that he was in a white button down and black slacks with his hair styled, it finally settled in.
Doctor Jeong Yunho was pretty damn attractive.
“Uh…” he looked around awkwardly before grabbing the mug and taking a sip, raising his brows in surprise. “This… is actually pretty good.”
You grinned. “My own blend.”
He made an impressed face and you took that opportunity to ask. “You don’t mind if I make a few changes to this floor, right? Nothing major, just a few plants here and there, maybe get a chair or two, move the furniture around to make space for the projector?”
“Isn’t it too early for that?” Yunho frowned. “I might kick you out before that. Or you might end up leaving-”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” you dismissed. “What I mean is, I’m staying out of your way so you would have no reason to kick me out because I really, really cannot get a better deal than I got with you.”
“Sure, then,” he finished his coffee. “Do whatever you like as long as you stick to the rules. I’ll be on my way then.”
You relaxed, mind already buzzing with ideas as you headed towards your room to fix your draft.
—-------------------------------
The trial period Yunho had given you was over and you were now seated in the kitchen with your third cup of coffee since midnight, awaiting your judgement.
Really, you were telling yourself that you shouldn’t worry. If you had to be your own judge, you had done a spectacular job of staying out of the doctor’s way except when unavoidable- which was usually right before he left for work around midnight when you would both eat dinner, or his usual shift in the later hours of morning. He insisted that he was fine eating alone and you didn’t have to wait for him to eat your own dinner, and yes, he sounded like he could be anywhere but there, but you told him that if you were cooking for him, you’d rather he eat at least one meal with you. For what reason, you didn’t give and he didn’t ask.
You didn’t give because you may be a self-proclaimed good cook but you were also someone who was sensitive. And that meant that if Yunho didn’t like something you cooked, you would be ready to take constructive criticism and improve.
And he didn’t ask because he could see that you were a sensitive one. He knew the moment he told you off for filling the house with potted plants within one day and you almost teared up asking if he didn’t like the signs of life around the house. He actually almost laughed at that but when he realised you were serious, he told you he wouldn’t take care of the plants. You told him you wouldn’t expect him to because the plants were ‘your babies’ and had moved two houses with you already.
So yes, you stayed out of his way. You cooked for him. You cleaned the house quite a bit- so much that Yunho almost didn’t recognise his own porch because of how different it looked in the span of a few hours that he was absent from the house. He made a point of telling you right after that your trial period wasn’t up, and you made a point of retorting with how you were just waiting for him to give in, to which you earned a scowl. By now, you knew that the doctor was not very friendly- at least not immediately. You wondered if that was the reason why he had troubles with his past housemates.
When you heard the sound of keys jingling and the door unlocking, you straightened and started heating up the dinner- you kept it traditional today- rice, beef and a lot of side dishes. Perhaps, it was your last attempt to win him over, and your heart was beating loudly with anticipation. You never waited for him to come home and share a meal in the early hours of morning but today, you made an exception. You turned around to greet him-
Finding his clothes stained with what had to be blood. His hair was all messed up as well and he had a bruise on his cheek. You exhaled. “Looks like somebody had a long night shift.”
“What are you doing this early in the morning?” He took off his shoes that you noticed were quite muddy. It hadn’t rained in a few days so you briefly wondered where he had been, but you shook your head.
No questions asked. That was the rule.
“Prepared breakfast? For you,” you scratched your suddenly itchy neck. “For obvious reasons. Last attempt to bribe you before you announce your decision.”
Yunho scanned you for a few moments before he said, “I should change first.”
“Of course,” you nodded. “I’ll set the table in the meantime.”
Yunho nodded and went upstairs, going to the room at the end of the hallway and dumping his shirt and trousers in the washing machine, turning it on. He needed to get rid of the blood as soon as possible and detergent wouldn’t be enough so he grabbed a soap and rubbed the stains on his shirt for good measure- now, the clothes would wash themselves.
It was almost a mechanical routine now, he scoffed at how his hands worked on their own now. He went to his room, unlocking it and changing into sweats. Usually, he didn’t eat much before sleeping- after all, due to his night shifts, he slept for most hours of the day and breakfast wasn’t something he cared about, but the smell of beef was making his stomach rumble. He figured he could make an exception today.
By the time he joined you at the table, there were a variety of dishes in front of him and he raised a brow at you. “You really went all out, huh?”
“Of course I would,” you shrugged. “But I’ll be honest. I got most of these side dishes as a gift from one of my friends from work.”
Yunho nodded, thanking you for the meal and eating silently, waiting and waiting but you never asked him about his bloody clothes. Did you dismiss it because you thought it might be from a patient? Or because you simply didn’t care? Was he lucky then, having found you as his housemate? Because one of the qualities he needed in his housemate that he simply couldn’t have stated in the form was a lack of curiosity or inquisitiveness. It was different than being nosy- he could deal with nosy but not someone who would overstep their boundaries because they were curious.
It was why he was apprehensive of you at first. You were a writer. Writers had to be curious and inquisitive, and you were. He knew you were only beginning right now, but the few occasions you had been curious, he was thrown off. And for the right reasons-
“As a doctor, do you think it’s more painful to bleed to death or to drown?”
“As a doctor… do you think a sharp pencil stab to the jugular vein could be fatal?”
That was really all you ever asked him. His opinion as a doctor. You asked with such simplicity that he couldn’t help but stop whatever he was doing and really think about the answer-
“I personally think it’s more painful to drown. The water burns you from the inside. Bleeding to death… you stop feeling things at a certain point and it gets easier from there.”
“Well, it depends on the location of the stab but I reckon if it’s around the base of the neck, it could be fatal. But it would have to be embedded quite deep, and then extracted so a person can bleed to death. If it stays in, there’s no point.”
And his answers would earn him your satisfaction and suddenly, you would be muttering to yourself and going for your room, probably to note it down. He had done his research there too- if he was going to have you as his housemate, he needed to do a background check on you. He didn’t find anything odd in your socials- you tended to stay anonymous and most of your blogs were writing-focused. And when he snooped in your room while you were away grocery shopping, he only found various notes and books on crime and methods of serial killers. He was ashamed to admit he spent quite some time on that book and learned a lot.
So now, having finished the delicious breakfast (you really were a good cook) and finding you uninterested in his whereabouts and the aching bruise on his cheek, he finally cracked the first smile in three days.
“I’ll let you live if you take care of the house like you have been so far. And you really don’t need to wait for me during meals. The rules are still the same.”
You let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding and laughed in relief. “Thank you. I’ll stick by the rules, and I’ll probably have dinner with you if I’m not busy- I don’t like eating alone, to be honest. You can pretend I’m not there if that’s what bothers you. Also…”
When Yunho urged you to continue, your shoulders relaxed in relief but your brows crunched in annoyance. “Do you have to bring your muddy shoes inside? I just cleaned.”
Yunho looked towards the doorway. “I can’t leave them out.”
“Well, I can’t have muddy shoes inside, so you’ll have to do something about it yourself or else I’ll be annoyed and have to clean them myself and you do not want me cleaning your shoes-”
“Okay,” Yunho waved a hand to shut you up. “I’ll take them off on the porch next time.”
“Good,” you folded your arms, considering him. “I think we’re good then.”
Yunho narrowed his eyes. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying that…”
“Well, now that we’ve settled everything, I hope you and I will get along,” you extended your hand and he warily shook it, aware of how small your hand was in his. “Now, since you’re a doctor, I must ask if you’ll take care of the loud bruise on your cheek before you sleep. We don’t want it looking worse than it already is.”
“I’ll take care of it,” he assured, and he couldn’t help but continue. “Aren’t you going to ask?”
“I’ll admit that I’m curious, but I won’t break a rule- and I won’t be tricked into breaking one either,” you winked at him and once again, he found himself smiling. “I’ll just assume you had a bad day at work or a rough case. You must often get them as a… surgeon?”
He nodded and you started stacking the dishes. “You can go rest now. I’ve installed a clothesline in the backyard- I really wonder where you’ve been drying your clothes all this time, but I won’t ask. You should try hanging your clothes outside this time.”
For a moment, Yunho wondered if he should have kicked you out.
“I just have a question before you disappear,” you turned and he paused in his tracks, wondering if his stealth was worsening. “It’s an odd one, for my book, but… approximately how long would a healthy man suffer with a stab wound to this area-” you rubbed the left side of your stomach, “- given the weapon is an old 12-inch kitchen knife that’s been sharpened way too many times?”
For a moment, Yunho wondered if he had forgotten to lock the cabinet in the kitchen that contained all of his knives. “You’re uh… oddly specific.”
“I have to be,” you shrugged.
“Well…” Yunho rubbed his chin, thinking of all the patients and victims he had dealt with so far. “Can I sleep on it?”
—-----------------------
Your life was finally not falling apart, for once.
In fact, perhaps this was the calmest that things had been for a good few years now, you mused to yourself as you mopped the floor, your usual instrumental playlist on a considerable volume playing in the living room. Ever since you graduated and had to face the reality of navigating through life as an adult, mostly on your own, you had to tackle a lot of struggles and obstacles. Sure, things got better when you finally signed a contract with a publishing company and started writing for them, but whenever you thought things calmed down, there was always something happening to make you feel like everything was falling apart once again.
Like a few weeks ago when you had to move out of your apartment that you had lived in for three years because the owner decided to sell the building and every tenant had to empty their apartment on a rather short notice. You were compensated but that wasn’t enough because everything was so expensive now. You couldn’t go back to your hometown- if you went back, you would never be able to leave again. So you scoured the internet and found your current place.
And things were finally okay. You did not have to worry about rent- you were doing a good job at maintaining the house and feeding the owner proper meals and so far, he had no complaints with you (he told you if he ever did, he would make sure you knew). You were now able to keep up with your weekly deadlines and finally able to overcome your writer’s block- all thanks to Yunho.
Over the past two weeks, while you could not say that Yunho had warmed up to you, he was getting there alright. You could tell because he stopped complaining about you overcleaning- or perhaps, he admitted defeat. He also stopped protesting when you joined him for dinner before he left for work at night and it was then you would ask him all the questions you had- mostly injuries related, sometimes medical law, but you found that he was knowledgeable in legal law as well. He was never curious about why you asked him all your odd questions, but one day, he asked you what exactly you were writing.
“I’m writing about a female detective who’s assigned to a case of serial killings in her precinct. The serial killer is a strange one because he does not have a fixed method of killing and his victim pool has no pattern, and at first the detective believes that there is a group of them which may or may not be working together, but towards the end, I reveal that there was only one… and the serial killer was from the same station as her so he always knew what to avoid.”
And that was the only time Yunho looked remotely impressed with what you did- if you didn’t count the time he saw you carrying a tower of books and wondered how a tiny thing like you could carry so much. After that, whenever you told him about your progress during dinner (you insisted you needed to talk out loud about it and if he didn’t want to hear it, he could say so because you were used to talking to the walls) he would offer clarifications at least about the things that concerned him. You asked him if he had dealt with a lot of fatal wounds in surgery.
“When I was a beginner, that’s when I got the worst of them,” he admitted. “But I don’t work in the fancy hospitals anymore. With some of my colleagues, we opened our own private clinic. The hospital life wasn’t for me- at least not right now.”
That was all he offered about his personal life and you didn’t ask why he couldn’t handle a hospital life right now. Perhaps, he was going through some of his own troubles like you were too. He tended to spend most of his free time out anyway so you figured that medical practice wasn’t the only thing he was doing.
Plus, he had a thing for cars- old, beaten up cars that he would fix in his garage that he called his ‘workshop’. He would dedicate his weekend to those cars and would become so absorbed that he would forget to eat. One time, you made a smoothie for him because he had skipped his meal and when you went to the garage and cleared your throat, he appeared in your vision, all rough and messed up. You stifled your smile and raised the glass in your hand. He simply asked you to leave it in the corner and go away.
He forgot to drink that and you found it the next day in the same spot, to your dismay.
You sighed to yourself when you recalled that day, placing the mop next to the wall while you cleaned the window in the living room. You spotted a car in front of your neighbour’s house where the old couple lived and you figured it might finally be their son paying them a visit. You had actually met the couple while on your way to the convenience store and they asked you if the doctor was giving you any trouble.
“I don’t know why he couldn’t have a housemate for so long,” the old woman shook his head in worry. “He’s such a kind young man. He checks on us every weekend even though he is busy and he makes sure we go to our monthly checkups.”
“Really?” That was unexpected. “Sounds like a kind young man indeed.”
She laughed. “You must be a good person if you’ve stuck around for this long. If he gives you any trouble, just let me know and I’ll give him an earful, yeah?”
You let out a short laugh, wanting to tell her that it was probably the other way round, but it had you wondering why his previous housemates didn’t last long enough with him. He wasn’t a very strict person and the rules weren’t something one couldn’t obey. Was it because of his cold demeanour? You had to admit that he was very mysterious and sometimes, you wondered just what exactly he did other than his medical practice.
Maybe curiosity does kill the cat, so you would let it go.
You were just stacking the mops back in the shed when you heard the sound of Yunho’s bike- you could recognise the sound of his bike now- it wasn’t too loud like other bikes but had a deep sound. You turned to find him parking it in the garage and you checked your wristwatch.
“You’re… early today.”
It was half past four, the sun just starting to illuminate the sky. He usually came back when the sun was fully out. He took off his helmet and ran his hand through his hair, scanning you.
“Yes, I am,” he got off the bike, not offering an explanation. You didn’t need one either. He simply nodded at you once in greeting before going inside-
Leaving a trail of muddy boot prints again.
Cursing at him, you grabbed the mop and started cleaning after him, noticing he took off his shoes on the porch this time. You made a face at the shoes, wishing you could have made it at him and picked them up and wiped them on the grass to get most of the mud off before setting them back on the porch. When you got inside, Yunho cleared his throat.
“You don’t have to take care of my shoes, I’ve said it multiple times-”
“I just cleaned,” you clenched your jaw, turning to him. “Look. You’ve got rules in this house, and as your housemate, I’ll state my rules too.”
“Oh?” He looked amused. “Please, carry on.”
“Wipe your shoes on the grass before you take them off on the porch,” you exhaled, a weight off your shoulders. “I hate it when I have just cleaned the entire house and you come from work with your muddy shoes trampling all over my hard work.”
“Trampling might be a strong word…”
“You get my point,” you glared at him and he straightened, nodding. This was the first time he saw you angry and-
He was trying his best not to laugh right now.
“Any other rules?” He managed to ask without cracking up.
“Just…” you looked around. “Oh yes, I’ve got one. When you wash your hands in the sink, you should wipe your hands with that towel-” you pointed at the twin bunny hand towels hanging by the hook you attached on the wall next to the sink. “You can use the blue one. I have the towel for the purpose that you don’t go around spreading a water trail after yourself.”
This time, Yunho turned around and finally let out the laugh he had been holding back and you stood gaping at him, wondering if you should congratulate yourself for finally making him laugh or if the bubbling thing in your throat was your anger worsening. “What? If you don’t like that, you can kick me out.”
“No,” he turned around to face you, looking down. “I’m… sorry. I won’t do that again, I’ll abide by the rules. You don’t have to get so angry-”
“I’m not angry-”
Yunho stifled another smile, shaking his head as if to stop himself from laughing again and you narrowed your eyes.
“You can laugh in front of me. I don’t bite.”
But perhaps, that was the wrong thing to say. His smile faded and he went back to being the same, cold doctor. “You should go to sleep now.”
Just like that, he dismissed you. He dismissed you like any other time you almost cracked through his cold, mysterious demeanour. And just like always, you let him dismiss you and left him alone.
He might not kick you out for setting these rules but if you continued to try to get him to break this wall he had built all around him… he would have no other option. Curiosity could kill you, you knew, but you were so curious about what kind of a person he was. You didn’t have many neighbours but the old couple insisted he was very kind and friendly when Yunho had been anything but friendly to you. He had been distant, unapproachable, sometimes talkative but rarely smiling like he had today. You refused to believe that this was who he was. He had the brightest smile and the most heartwarming laugh that you heard today, and you vowed to yourself that even though he might kick you out for crossing boundaries…
You would make him laugh. Slowly, and surely, you would break him.
—--------------------------
Yunho had had a few eventful days and perhaps, work was the only place he felt at home now, surrounded by all of his friends who knew him. Knew who he was. Knew and didn’t judge him for being the kind of person that he was. Sure, in his own home, he felt comfortable too (except for when a certain someone started nagging) but his true home was with his people.
And to find you pop up at his workplace without a notice made his eyes twitch in annoyance and realise that the urge to kill you might not be as strong as before but it was there alright.
“What are you doing here?” He said through gritted teeth, surprising not only the old lady from next door but also the staff who walked past you.
“Jeong Yunho, that is no way to talk to a lady!” The woman said, shaking her head in disappointment and when you saw Yunho’s features soften when he met her gaze, you scoffed. “She was kind enough to walk me here- I’m having a lot of trouble with my vision all of a sudden.”
“You should have called the ambulance then,” Yunho frowned, taking the woman’s hand and guiding her across the hallway, disappearing at the end and you pursed your lips, deciding to take a seat in the waiting area.
You looked around- the clinic was big enough and the staff had been kind. It looked like it ran well. There weren’t many people here right now- only a few patients in the waiting and you read the board to see that there were a number of doctors available- a gynaecologist, dentist, paediatrician, psychiatrist, nephrologist, eye specialist, ent specialist and orthopaedic surgeon. You were reading the names of all the doctors when you felt eyes on you and you saw a man in a lab coat watching you with mild amusement. You looked away but when you realised he was still staring, you raised a brow at him and he finally approached you.
“I happened to see your interaction with Yunho earlier, and couldn’t help but wonder if you were the new housemate we’ve heard so much about?”
You were rendered speechless- first of all, he seemed to be pretty damn close with Yunho. Either that or he was nosy, but you knew Yunho wasn’t the type to keep nosy people around. And then…
The housemate ‘we’ had heard so much about?
“Uh… You’re telling me that Dr. Jeong Yunho talks about me? Here? At his workplace? Who might you be?”
“I’m Dr. Jung Wooyoung,” he extended his hand and you shook it. “I’m the dentist here, and an old friend of Yunho’s. I don’t know if he mentioned but our friend group opened up this clinic here.”
“He mentioned colleagues, not friends,” you told him and he shook his head in disappointment. “But nice to meet you, doctor. I’m y/n, the housemate Yunho talks about a lot- all good things, I hope?”
Thus, Wooyoung started retelling every conversation he had with him about you and you found him very easy to talk to. There was just something about him that invited you to relax and let loose, and soon after you heard that Yunho had told them all about you being a nagger and a clean-freak weirdo writer, you were complaining about how Yunho was borderline mean to you and you found it hard to believe that he was the warm, kind and funny person that Wooyoung insisted he was.
“I mean… the lady that I brought with me? Our neighbour? I told her she was wrong when she said that Yunho was a kind young man, but you’re saying he’s the funny one? I haven’t seen him smile in days, Wooyoung.”
“He’ll get used to you in no time,” Wooyoung waved his hand in dismissal. “You just gotta keep trying. Me? I cracked him in two days.”
“No way,” you laughed. “I’ve only made him laugh once and it’s been about a month-”
“Haven’t you got patients waiting for you, Dr. Jung?”
You froze, turning around slowly to see a tense Yunho standing at the corner, watching you two for god knows how long. You were about to apologise to Wooyoung for keeping him back but Wooyoung scoffed at Yunho.
“I expected better from you, mate. I like this one- I’m taking her to Hongjoong’s room,” Wooyoung said, getting up and helping you up too, steering you by your shoulders towards the hallway even though you protested and when you looked back to catch a glimpse of Yunho, you caught him shaking his head in disappointment-
But he let out a chuckle. He probably thought you couldn’t see him. He probably laughed because of Wooyoung. But he was going to get so mad at you-
“Don’t worry, he won’t kick you out,” Wooyoung almost whispered, winking at you. “If he tries anything, you come to me, okay? I’ll handle him.”
“Thanks,” you smiled awkwardly. “Where exactly are you taking me?”
“I would have taken you to Mingi, who’s Yunho’s oldest friend and would have given you tips on how to make Yunho give you the princess treatment, but he’s a little occupied right now so I’m taking you to Yunho’s second-oldest friend, Hongjoong.”
“When I accompanied the neighbour lady, I didn’t mean to intrude,” you paused in your tracks, looking at Wooyoung. “I’m not sure I should be here-”
“It’s okay,” Wooyoung assured you with a wide smile. “Relax. Yunho is not some big angry dude who’ll give you an earful at home. I’ll explain- and by now, he probably knows that I’m the one who’s basically kidnapped you.”
You laughed, allowing him to guide you to the eye specialist’s room and when you went inside, you saw the doctor packing his belongings. When he raised his head and brushed the dark strands away, he frowned at Wooyoung.
“The guest doesn’t look too pleased to be here, Wooyoung.”
“This is Yunho’s housemate,” Wooyoung grinned cheekily and Hongjoong said a loud ‘oh’, greeting you. “She’s the writer, Hongjoong. The crime fiction writer.”
“Ah,” Hongjoong nodded. “I read your book when Yunho told us who you were- ‘In the Silent Hours’? Amazing read.”
You were genuinely touched. “Thank you so much. I wish I could say something, but Yunho hasn’t told me anything about you all.”
“We know,” he laughed. “He can be like that. I hope you had a good experience visiting us, though, and if you have any concerns, you know where to come.”
You looked at Wooyoung who was smiling proudly. “I have way too many questions but I won’t ask- Yunho has a ‘no interfering in personal lives’ policy,” you said and they laughed as if that was the funniest thing Yunho could have done. “I’ll drop by with cookies some day, if you’re okay with that?”
“Sounds great!” Wooyoung clapped.
“I should really get going now and catch up with Yunho on our neighbour’s condition,” you said, excusing yourself and they enthusiastically said goodbye, making you unable to contain your smile as you made your way back to the entrance where Yunho was discussing something with a nurse-
Goodness, he looked so fucking hot in that lab coat with his hair done. You were positive his outworldly proportions were what made a boring lab coat look so attractive-
He caught you staring and when he finished talking with the nurse, he slowly made his way to you.
“Where’s grandma?” You asked. “Did you find out what’s wrong?”
“We’ve referred her to the nearest hospital and called her family- it seems to be a case of infarct and she’s lucky that she’s still walking and functioning like normal save for her eyes.”
“Oh-”
“And thanks to you bringing her so soon, we’ve managed to minimise the damage,” Yunho actually smiled this time and you let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding. “She’s resting right now- they’ll take care of her until her family comes.”
“Thank you,” you smiled.
“Well…” Yunho checked the time and you did the same- it was almost 2 which meant he would be off soon. “It’s almost time to go home. You walked here?”
“Yeah,” you said. “I should get going then.”
When Yunho didn’t say anything, you said bye and turned to leave but then you heard the familiar voice of Wooyoung shout ‘take her home, don’t be an ass!’ and you stifled a grin, facing Yunho to assure you that you would be okay walking-
“I mean… we’re going to the same place, so… I could make an exception this time- like the other exceptions I’m making,” Yunho narrowed his eyes at you. “I will pretend today didn’t happen.”
“Oh, please, I’ll walk myself home-”
“I’m kidding,” Yunho smiled and you wondered if it was the place that made him comfortable enough to joke with you. “I would have considered dissecting you alive if you dropped by for no reason, but really, you did a good thing today. Think of it as returning the sentiment.”
“I really don’t get you,” you said, ignoring the reference he made to your last inquiry about dissections, waiting for him when he said he would get his things from his room. When he returned with his bag, helmet and without the lab coat, you followed him outside, repeating that. “I really don’t get you, Yunho. You seem like two different people in one body.”
“Perhaps, I am,” he mused. “And perhaps, you’re lucky I’m in a good mood today. Here, wear this.”
He handed you his helmet and you took it, watching him get on his bike. “What about you?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No, you can wear this, I’ll be fine-”
“Y/n,” he warned, the sudden change in his pitch sending butterflies in your stomach. “Just do as I say. Now, get on and hold on tight. I’m not slowing down for you.”
And perhaps, you should have insisted more on walking back home because he sped through the streets, making you grip his jacket tighter with each passing second, but it was so thrilling that when you reached home, you almost asked for a second round. You took off the helmet and laughed out loud, shaking your head.
“It’s not my first time riding on a bike with someone, but it’s been ages. Can I get another ride one day?”
“Don’t even think about it,” Yunho warned, helping you get off and then parking the bike in his garage. “And I hope you don’t have any questions regarding my workplace today.”
“Oh, I have many, but…” you motioned to your lips, zipping them shut and Yunho nodded in approval, unlocking the house and going inside first. You muttered ‘ass’ and went to the kitchen, heating up everything you had made today, mind still plagued with the events of today.
—-----------------------
You finished plating the steaks, satisfied at your presentation, the cheese perfectly melted on top of the fried crust. It smelled heavenly and since you now knew that Yunho was an actual food enthusiast and a surprisingly gentle and constructive critic, the simple chore of cooking became something you started looking forward to.
When you lived alone, you never made much effort to cook for yourself, but now, things were different. Your house owner was reducing your rent in exchange for home-cooked meals and you could deliver, so you waited for Yunho who would be coming downstairs any minute- he had informed you that he had to leave for work early today so you prepared accordingly, though anyone could tell you were putting more effort into the meals now.
And that was because ever since the day in Yunho’s clinic, it looked like he was finally starting to consider you more than a housemate. You couldn’t exactly call yourselves friends- the rules were still the same, but perhaps, Yunho liked that you were a person of your word. You never talked about that day in the hospital, neither did you ask him about his friends. You never asked him what happened if he came back home at an odd time or if he suddenly went out in the middle of the night. You both respected each other’s boundaries and perhaps, that was what made him start opening up to you.
It wasn’t much, no. It was the little things- him offering to help you arrange the grocery or join you when you watched netflix. He would scroll on his phone, occasionally comment on whatever you were watching and then leave. It was him actually cleaning after himself when he accidentally brought his muddy shoes inside- you gave him a thumbs-up to acknowledge his effort and even that got him flustered, which you thought was cute. And it was him actually taking interest in what you were writing instead of giving answers to the questions you asked.
When you heard his footsteps down the stairs, you pretended to be busy setting the table and he made an impressed face as he took a seat.
“This is new,” he commented, waiting for you to sit before he could dig in.
“I’ve had this recipe for a while and finally felt the urge to try it,” you told him. When he took the first bite and nodded in approval, you relaxed and began eating yourself.
“It’s been about two months. You don’t have to worry about what I think about your cooking. I’ll have it even if it doesn’t taste like something straight out of a restaurant.”
“Can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, but I like it when the other person starts first- when I cook,” you said. He understood. He always seemed to understand where you came from, which was why you both rarely ever disagreed on things.
“It’s really good,” he said. “Also, I wanted to, uh, inform you- there’s a fundraiser happening at the clinic to help the patients who can’t afford to pay their bills. If you would like to participate…”
You passed him a side-eye. “That’s not you talking, is it?”
“You’re right,” he looked guilty. “Wooyoung and Hongjoong forced me to. Something about… cookies?”
“Oh? They remember?”
“They said it’s a good opportunity to flaunt your baking skills if you’re up for it,” Yunho shook his head in thought. “I personally think it’s okay if you don’t want to bake for strangers-”
“When is it?”
“This weekend.”
“I can do it,” you said and when he looked like he was regretting asking you, you continued, “If you have some qualms about me personally attending it, I could just bake the cookies and you could take them with you.”
“No, it’s not that,” he scratched his neck. “It’s…”
“I know, and I don’t mind,” you assured him. “I agreed to your terms when I decided to move in here. I won’t interfere in your workspace if that is what you want-”
“No, it’s okay. It’s just… new for me too,” he admitted and you paused, a bit surprised to hear that. “I’ll let you know the timings-”
His gaze stuck on the kitchen counter for a few moments, prompting you to follow it and see that he was staring holes into the knife holder. You looked at Yunho again to make sure if that was what he was staring at and then his gaze went to the cabinet at the left end of the kitchen-
“Where did you get those knives?”
For a moment, you wondered if his change of tone was something you were imagining until he got up and slowly walked to the counter where the knife holder was, taking out one of the knives and examining it and then almost rushing towards the cabinet at the left end and opening it-
“I told you not to touch the locked cabinets, didn’t I?”
You would have perhaps trembled under his dark gaze if you weren’t so confused right now. “The locked cabinets, yes? But that one was unlocked?”
Yunho glared at you, knife still in his hand. “When did you check it?”
“I was looking for a knife strong enough to cut meat and I found this cabinet unlocked-”
“You used this knife to cut the meat?”
You could feel your hands get clammy by now, lower lip almost quivering and you hated how small your voice sounded when you said yes. He turned around and almost grunted in pain and you wondered just what you had done so wrong. Almost mechanically, you took another bite of your now cold steak. Yunho came back to his seat but instead of sitting, he dropped the knife on the table with a clang.
“You knew that cabinet used to be locked, didn’t you?” His loud voice shook you and you wondered what effect he would have if he shouted. “You keep breaking rules without breaking them-”
“Well it’s not my fault it was unlocked, okay?” You shouted this time, dropping your utensils on the table, frustrated. “You should have locked it properly then!”
Before he could respond, you stormed off to your room, shutting your door with a bang and he slumped down on his chair, trying to take deep breaths, trying to suppress the feeling of disgust he got when he looked at his half-eaten meal-
Because you fucking used his knife to make a meal for him.
The knife he had killed several people with.
How could he forget to lock it? He couldn’t recall not locking it, but still, how could he be so careless? How could he-
He heard a muffled sound- it was hard to miss because the house was usually very silent, but it had to be the sound of you sobbing and to his surprise, despite everything, something in his heart ached at the sound. Now that the cloud of anger was disappearing, he realised he had reacted irrationally. It was his fault for not making sure the cabinet with his murder weapons was locked. He kept them in the kitchen so it wouldn’t be suspicious if someone saw, but still, he should have hidden them well. And then what he said about you continuing to break rules when he himself invited you to the fundraiser-
Yes, Wooyoung suggested it but it was ultimately him who invited you. Yunho shook his head, disappointed in himself and wondered what to do. He came to the conclusion that for now, he needed to collect his thoughts while you sobbed. Shit, he thought. He must have scared you a lot. He had been told way too many times that he was a scary person when angry, and you did not have to see that when you spent an hour making him such a good meal.
So, disappointed and praying to the heavens above that you at least washed the knives properly before you used them, he resumed eating, almost gagging through the rest of the meal and when he was done and had one glass of cool water down his system to calm himself, he finally mustered the courage to get up, be a man and apologise to you.
The thing about you, he realised since you moved here, was that you were odd in a charming way. When he was looking for a housemate who would maintain the house and cook, he didn’t expect someone who was so dedicated to the task. You were busy too, but it looked like you had shifted your schedule to adjust to his. When he was gone to work, you slept, and when he came back, you would be waiting for him. You had added life to this house and he couldn’t believe how much his mood had changed now that the house looked like a home and he ate well.
You always gave and gave, expecting nothing in return. Perhaps, that’s just who you were. A good person, someone he could only wish to be. Someone who only wrote about horrible crimes instead of actually committing them. Someone who believed that her house owner was a respectable doctor and not a part-time serial killer as well.
That was debatable too. He had a purpose- he didn’t kill randomly. He only killed the people who deserved it. But that was a story for later- he couldn’t come into your room and tell you that reason, so what the hell was he doing standing in front of your door?
Yunho knocked gently and when you fell silent but didn’t respond, he knocked again.
“Y/n? Can I come in?”
Silence.
“Please?”
It was the gentleness in his voice that made you mutter a small yes, but only after you wiped your tears away. Truth be told, you weren’t that sensitive. You weren’t sure why you ended up throwing a tantrum and crying tonight but you figured it was long due now. You just wished you could explain to him without becoming a mess again-
And then he opened the door, looking worriedly at you. Worriedly, with his brows scrunched and actions hesitant and you found your vision getting blurry with tears again.
Dammit.
You looked away but from the corner of your eye you saw him look around the room once before hesitantly walking to where you were- on the floor, back resting against the bed. To your surprise, he sank down next to you, mirroring your position.
“I don’t know how to say it, but I’m sorry,” he almost whispered. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s my fault.”
A fresh stream of tears left your eyes and you weren’t sure if it was because of what happened earlier or what he said now. He couldn’t simply come inside your room and apologise and act like it wouldn’t affect you.
“Will you look at me?”
You wiped your tears and turned to face him, hesitating to meet his eyes. He understood. He shifted a bit towards you. “No explanation will make it better, and I’m ashamed that I reacted this way when it’s my fault that I left that cabinet unlocked. I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you when you do so much for me without asking.”
“Yes,” your voice was quivering as much as your lips. “It’s your fault. I mean… I won’t ask but they are just knives, Yunho.”
And then you were crying again at the absurdity of it all and Yunho decided to take responsibility. He patted your head awkwardly and when you buried your head between your knees, he drew closer and wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” he attempted to sound sincere- he was, but you didn’t need to know that he was also stifling grins. “I scared you, right?”
“You did!” You cried. “Do you know how awful you look when you’re angry? And holding that knife? I thought you were going to stab me, Yunho.”
And this time, Yunho laughed heartily, making you laugh as well and push him away. He put a hand on the side of your face to cup it, still laughing as he said, “Please. Who would cook for me if I killed you?”
“I don’t know,” you pouted. “You have a lot of friends. Maybe one of them could cook for you.”
Yunho smiled at that, wiping your tears away and you suddenly felt conscious of the position you two were in, though he didn’t seem to realise it yet- or he was ignoring it, for once. “Sorry for almost yelling at you. And sorry for saying everything that I did.”
“It’s okay,” you assured him, scanning his features now that you were looking at him up close for the first time. You noticed how warm his eyes could look, how soft his features actually were. He looked perfect, and if it weren’t for all the rules that would cost you a living space, you would have crossed a lot of boundaries by now. “I’m sure you had your reasons- and I should have asked when I found the cabinet unlocked.”
“But that doesn’t justify my behaviour one bit,” he shook his head. “Now, will you come out and finish your dinner?”
“But-”
“I have finished mine,” he told you. “And now you should too. I’ll go heat it up.”
With a pat to your cheek, he left the room, leaving you wrapped in his clean and manly scent. You sighed deeply, avoiding the mirror but wiping your face before taking a seat back at the table. You watched him set the table for you.
“You should go now,” you said. “You had to leave early. I’ve probably held you back a lot, I’m sorry-”
“I’ll go when you finish eating,” he insisted and you shot him a glare before picking up your fork.
“Just so you know,” you said as you took a bite, Yunho watching you earnestly. “I don’t usually become a crying mess like I just did. I’m stronger than that.”
“Whatever you say.”
“I am,” you glared at him again. “But I have my limit too. And today was all the pent up emotions from the previous two months.”
“All because of me, huh?”
“Don’t think too highly of yourself,” you teased. “I have other things to worry about too.”
“Of course you do,” he smiled.
“Yep. Like deadlines. And chores.”
“I hope the fundraiser won’t conflict with your deadline?”
“It won’t,” you told him. “You’re assuming I’ll attend.”
“I’ll make sure you do,” he said as you finished eating the last bite. “Because I’m the one who’s inviting you.”
Perhaps, this was another step towards a relationship more meaningful than housemates. Perhaps…
He was finally starting to consider you a friend.
—-------------------------------
Sometimes, Yunho wondered if it was a good decision to have you as his housemate.
It wasn’t that you were doing anything wrong, no. You were perfect. Goodness, you were perfect and he both loved and hated that. He had no idea how he got lucky with you- and he was not thinking about the fact that he got to have delicious meals at home or his place looked maintained.
It was about the things he could talk to you about, and hell, he didn’t even talk to you much. You probably had no idea how much he enjoyed your little questions about what was the most painful way to die or how you would kill someone in a certain context- it was the only time, perhaps, that he could be himself. He had spent a long time being convinced by his friends that he was not a bad person inside, and perhaps, they were right. But if they were…
Why did he enjoy talking to you about this stuff so much? Was it because these secrets were a burden to him, even though his friends knew? He never told them the details so perhaps, talking about killing people and hurting them in detail with you helped him in some twisted, cathartic way. Whatever it was, he was certain that he was getting addicted to watching you get impressed by his knowledge about such things he claimed was from years of his surgery practice, and he was also ashamedly addicted about how unhinged you sounded when you talked about the criminals in your fiction.
He was positive you couldn’t be an undercover-something. You couldn’t even hurt a fly, let alone a human. But the way you got excited when you talked in detail about a certain type of wound or method of torture… he often found himself zoning out and simply staring at you while you talked. Perhaps, he was the unhinged one, but he found you so attractive when you talked about what you loved writing about, and he was very close to asking you about what made you write such gory crime fiction novels. He would be breaking his own rule of not interfering in each other’s personal lives, but all rules be damned- he had to know what drove you to write all of this.
He was also pretty sure you weren’t as naive as you looked and probably found his habits weird. There was no way he could look redeemable after the knife incident. While you were gone the next day, he personally sanitised all of them because he was sure you were going to keep using those knives. He figured it turned out to be okay in the end- he had to change his murder weapons and method soon anyway. The police were starting to connect a few dots and he was sure they would come with a search warrant any day.
But perhaps, it was a good decision to have you in this house. If the police ever came, you could help with Yunho’s image. He felt guilty for using you for that purpose now that he was almost starting to care about you despite his principles but… in the end, it was all turning out to be good. All was well.
A bit too well, if he had to say, as he watched you get a little too chummy with Mingi and Wooyoung. You had done a good job at the fundraiser, having baked dozens of cookies and with some strange ribbon packaging you claimed was cute. He took care of the stall but you still brought a lot of decoration from the house to give it a personal touch, and not only the visitors but the staff were also impressed by your skills. Now that the event was done and you were wrapping up everything, Mingi and Wooyoung had casually joined you to help and to praise your work. Yunho didn’t miss the subtle glances they threw in his direction as if to tease him, and what could he say?
It was working.
“Are you gonna keep watching her like she’s your next target or are you going to make a move?”
Yunho shut his eyes in mild annoyance before looking to his right where Seonghwa stood with his trademark smile, nodding at the visitors who greeted him before they left. If anyone knew that behind the kind smile of the paeds doctor was one of the masterminds of their team that essentially rooted out the evil from the society…
“I’d rather watch. I know Mingi or Wooyoung will say something stupid if I approach them now.”
Seonghwa chuckled at that. “She’s done a good job today. She’s extraordinary, Yunho.”
Yunho narrowed his eyes. “Don’t tell me that you two were discussing her novel when you took a break in the cafe.”
“You know what I think?” Seonghwa almost whispered as if letting him in on a secret. “If she was a part of our team, we could actually succeed in working with the police.”
“How?”
“Think about it,” he bowed at one of the elders who passed by. “Imagine her next work is about what we do. Crime fiction to others, but something the police could use to clean up our mess, yeah?”
Once again, Yunho was in awe of the way Seonghwa’s mind worked. “The police would use that to arrest us.”
“Or they would turn a blind eye and let us do their dirty work. Two sides of the coin,” Seonghwa patted Yunho’s back and left to join Hongjoong and Yunho considered what he had said. When he saw Mingi pick something out of your hair, though, he decided he’d had enough.
“Ah, you’re here,” Wooyoung had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Y/n, now is your time to tell us if you’d like to change your houseowner.”
“Nah, I’m good,” you grinned, meeting Yunho’s eyes who looked pleased to hear that. “This one is good at pretending I don’t exist so sometimes I feel like I own the house myself.”
Mingi laughed loudly at that and Yunho smiled in embarrassment. He was guilty, yes. When you noticed his ears getting red, you laughed. “I’m just kidding. I really couldn’t have a better person as a housemate.”
“You’re lying,” Wooyoung smacked your arm playfully and you put the last of the things in your duffel bag.
“You won’t understand,” you simply told Wooyoung and chanced a glance at Yunho who no longer looked embarrassed and offered to take your bag. You let him and said your goodbyes to the two, waving at the rest of the staff who told you to come again (with baked treats) and you followed Yunho to the parking lot. This time, you had made sure he had a spare helmet and when he noticed you grinning, he asked you what was so funny.
“Nothing, I’m just excited to ride your bike again,” you giggled like a kid. “I kind of have a thing for bikes.”
And there it was. Another reason Yunho felt his heart pound rather uncharacteristically.
Perhaps, that was what prompted him to break one of his biggest rules and ask, “Would you like to have dinner somewhere… with me? You must be too tired to make dinner at home, and I know a quiet spot if you’re up for it- if not… that’s okay too, we could order something instead-”
He paused when he noticed your smile growing and he raised a brow in question. You wanted to tell him that he was rambling (which was cute as hell) but you only nodded. “I’d love to. You’re right, I’m tired- and a quiet spot sounds nice at this hour. I won’t say no to a longer bike ride too.”
Yunho chuckled at that as he put on his helmet. You followed and got on the bike behind him. “It’s not gonna be a short trip if you’re okay.”
“I’m good!” You assured and he told you to hang on tight as he started the heavy bike and started driving towards the darkening horizon. You put your hands on Yunho’s shoulders but as he sped on the emptier roads, you resorted to clutching the sides of his jacket and rested your head on his back, watching the view. You loved how quiet it got in your head at times like these and it almost made you wish this moment would never end.
You didn’t know how much time passed but finally, Yunho started slowing down and you looked up, finding yourself at the riverside. When he parked in an empty space, he got down first and helped you down. You took off your helmet and smoothened your hair, looking around. It seemed to be a remote spot that the tourists had not yet discovered and the pretty lightning bordering the sidewalk illuminated the benches at the distance and-
“Fried chicken!” You grinned. “I didn’t know what I was craving until I smelt it.”
Yunho smiled, motioning you to follow him. He led you inside where you placed your orders and you both decided to take one of the tables outside. There weren’t many people here anyway so you were going to enjoy the cool river breeze.
Now that you sat in front of him, it finally settled in that you were outside with Yunho for the first time. That he offered to take you out for dinner. It didn’t help that he looked absolutely dreamy with his dark hair falling messily on his forehead and his shoulder looking even broader in the black jacket he wore, and when he ran a hand through his hair, swiping it away from his forehead-
He met your eyes and you realised you had been staring. You awkwardly sipped your water and looked towards your left, urging yourself to focus on the sound of the waves instead of the sound of your erratic heartbeat. You cleared your throat. “How did you find this spot? It’s beautiful.”
“I used to live near here when I was little,” he smiled and you thought there was something sad about it.
“Oh, your parents must still live around here then?” You wondered and when his smile fell, you knew you had asked a question you shouldn’t have.
But to your surprise, he answered, “They passed away when I was in highschool. I had to move out soon, so I couldn’t come back here for a good few years.”
“Oh, I’m… sorry to hear that,” you said and he told you it was okay. “I can tell why this place is close to your heart though. It’s wonderful here.”
“Yeah, it is,” he said and you were glad your chicken arrived at that moment, breaking the awkwardness from your conversation. “How did today go? You’re quite popular at the clinic now.”
You grinned, “Nobody can resist chocolate chip cookies, apparently. Wooyoung said I helped raise a lot of money.”
“You did,” Yunho confirmed and you both took a bite of the chicken. You groaned in appreciation.
“I don’t know if it's the river or the vibe,” you said after swallowing the first bite. “But doesn’t the chicken taste so good here?”
“There’s a reason I brought you here,” he laughed at the way you stared at the chicken. “Good food and a killer view.”
It took you both a few pieces to get comfortable and this time, when you asked him about the clinic and all his friends, he answered all your questions. You learned that Yunho and Mingi were school friends and Yunho met Hongjoong at the end of highschool. Their group expanded over the years and today, after years of studying and working together, they had their own place.
Yunho also asked you about your recent progress and you complained about your publishers. He then asked where you were originally from and he learned that you were from a small town at the outskirts of the city and had a younger brother but your relationship with your family was a bit strained so you didn’t visit them often. He also found that you didn’t have many friends, just a few you met annually. He realised then why it was so easy for you to get comfortable with Wooyoung and Mingi- perhaps, they reminded you of your friends, or maybe you missed normal human interaction.
As you finished eating, you asked him what urged him to really bring you here tonight. Yunho looked at you as if to make you reconsider your question but when you held your front, he finally gave in. “Just wanted to say thanks.”
“For what?”
“For everything,” he shrugged. “You do a lot. I haven’t done anything in return.”
“Uh, forty percent off?”
“Yeah,” he laughed. “Just accept the sentiment and shut up.”
“Yes sir,” you saluted and he paid the bill, insisting it was his treat even though you asked to split the bill. “Well, if you won’t let me pay, maybe we can walk a little before we go?”
“That makes no sense, but okay,” Yunho said, shaking his head in amusement and you took the lead, going towards the edge to peek down at the river and then you started your stroll.
“Isn’t it nice to get some fresh air?” You commented, taking a deep breath. “No worries, just the river and us.”
Yunho nodded silently and you grinned. “If you have more spots like these… don’t hide them from me.”
“Just this one,” he admitted and you nodded, satisfied. “What about you? Do you have a spot like this?”
You had… until everything went horribly wrong. You had a place so close to your heart that you hadn’t visited in years-
“You okay?” Yunho asked worriedly, having noticed your smile drop.
“Uh, yeah,” you pursed your lips. “I had one. I don’t go there anymore- bad memories.”
“Ah… sorry I asked-”
“It’s okay,” you assured. “If I grow the guts one day… I’ll take you there.”
“You don’t have to-”
“Just shut up and accept the offer,” you winked at him and he grinned at your statement. You noticed you had already walked around the area, the parking lot in your vision now. Before you could walk towards it, Yunho called your name, making you pause in your tracks.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure?”
“Did you mean it when you said… earlier at the clinic…” Yunho put his hands in his pockets awkwardly, trying to phrase it better. “When you-”
“When I said you were a good housemate?” You asked, internally smiling because you just knew he would end up asking you to elaborate. “I meant it.”
“Why? I have been anything but nice.”
“That’s a lie,” you pointed out. “Just because you have a few rules you’re strict about doesn’t mean you’re not nice company when you’re in a good mood. And you answer all my weird questions without judgement!” You clapped your hands. “What more could I ask for?”
When you saw that he didn’t look convinced, you took a deep breath. “To be honest, my life was falling apart before I moved in with you. Everything started going wrong at the same time. It was too much and I really thought I would have to go back to my hometown- and I would go anywhere but there. So when we made a deal? Yes, I thought you were strange at first but I couldn’t complain, and now that we’ve… warmed up to each other a bit, you’re not bad company at all, Yunho. You may still be an asshole about your rules,” you laughed and he joined, the corners of his lips curving downwards- was he flustered? “But I can see why the people at the clinic like you. You’re quite dependable.”
“That’s…”
“Too much?” You laughed. “In short, you gave me a nice deal and my life is finally back to normal, and you’re a good person, you idiot. That’s all I’m saying.”
“I think you’re getting a little too comfortable with me though…”
“Yeah?” You walked towards the bike. “Says the guy who basically took me on a date.”
And there it was again- the flustered smile of his that was so endearing, the ears turning red and the nervous laugh as he wondered what to do, where to look. You laughed out loud, finding it quite funny.
“You’re a very easy prey, Dr. Jeong,” you teased. “Quite easy to get to.”
“Did you really think of this as a date?” He held his helmet, waiting for your answer and you thought about it.
“Platonic date?” You wondered. “Outing? Icebreaking party? Whatever you wanna name it…”
You faltered when he stepped closer and looked down at you, scanning your face. Suddenly, you were so conscious of the proximity between you two. The dim lights made his gaze look darker and you wished you could take a peak in his mind. He brought his hand up and tucked your hair behind your ear ever so gently, lightly caressing your cheek-
And then he poked you in the middle of the forehead, making you wince out loud.
“I’m still the grumpy mysterious owner,” he quoted what you had said to Wooyoung today and you gaped at him, wondering if he had heard the entirety of the conversation. “So don’t get too ahead of yourself, okay?”
You rubbed your forehead, muttering okay and complaining about how he could have just said so. But when you wore your helmet and settled down behind him, clutching at the sides of his jacket, he held your hands in his and you couldn’t even digest how his big hands engulfed your small ones before he wrapped your arms around his waist.
“It’s better this way- I’m speeding,” he said.
“I really don’t get you, Yunho,” you told him and he cast you a glance before starting to drive, speeding as promised. You were pretty sure he wouldn’t have cared if you held on to the sides of his jacket like earlier or his shoulders for dear life but…
But you wouldn’t complain. So you rested your head against his back again, bodies flush against each other and you let yourself feel whatever you were feeling for the ride back home.
—----------------------------
It was a good day today- somewhat productive because you were almost done writing your book and the editor was pleased with your work too. Yunho was having dinner with his colleagues tonight so you decided not to cook and just have the leftovers from yesterday for dinner then and went to your room to finally sort out the mess you had been avoiding ever since you moved in-
The books.
While you had lined all your books along the walls, creating towers of them that you were scared would one day fall on you if you ever made a clumsy mistake, you had realised that perhaps it was time you let go of some of the books. You could already feel your heart being broken at the thought but your room was starting to look too congested compared to the rest of the spacious house so you would have to make a little sacrifice.
So you spent hours sorting through the books and almost didn’t hear Yunho coming downstairs until he knocked on your room, eyes widening at the books around you.
“Yeah, I know I’m a mess,” you said. “Are you leaving?”
“Yeah,” Yunho nodded, laughing in what seemed to be shock. “Do you need… help?”
“No, I’m just sorting them out,” you dismissed, though surprised at the offer. “I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Yunho was still lingering at the doorway. “Well, I don’t know when I’ll be back, so…”
“Have fun,” you looked at him, grinning. “I’ll be fine. This is something I do annually.”
“If you say so. Don’t get lost in there,” he teased and you rolled your eyes, shooing him away.
And that was that. You didn’t even realise how much time passed- you kept getting distracted as you held each book in hand and recalled the memories associated with it. It was only when the doorbell rang that you frowned, checking the clock. It was 09:47 pm- who could it be? Not Yunho- he had his keys. Maybe the woman from next door?
But when you opened the door to two grown men with badges around their necks, you did a quick scan, realising two things- that they were detectives, and one of the faces was way too familiar.
“Good evening, miss,” the younger one said. “We’re Detectives Lee and Seo from the station-”
“Y/n?” The older one- the familiar face called your name and suddenly, it clicked-
It clicked. Everything you had buried deep inside you, somewhere so deep that you hadn’t thought about it in perhaps a year, was suddenly out and washing over you like a wave of cold water. Everything from about two decades ago started flashing in front of your eyes and you gulped down the thing stuck in your throat with immense effort.
“Detective Seo?” Your voice sounded small even to your ears.
“It’s been a while,” he looked as confused as you. “I didn’t expect to see you here- doesn’t this house belong to a Doctor Jeong Yunho?”
“You’re right,” you told him. “I live on the first floor on rent.”
“I see… Can we come in then?”
“If you’re here to meet Dr. Jeong, he’s not home right now-”
“We can wait,” he told you. “Besides… it’s been a while- won’t you invite us for tea?”
“You can’t just visit so late at night and expect tea,” you folded your arms, finally getting a grip. “What is the purpose of your visit, really?”
“We really needed a statement, or anything from the doctor,” Detective Seo said. “Let us wait for him for half an hour, and then we’ll leave.”
You considered kicking them out but then figured they could wait. Yunho would probably be late and they would have to go back after half an hour without anything. Plus, it didn’t look like Detective Seo was about to budge anytime soon. The other detective also looked intrigued and you gave in, allowing them to the living room though just like two decades ago, Detective Seo made a point of roaming around-
“That your room?” He pointed at the mess of books and you stifled the urge to pass a biting remark.
“Yes, I was a little busy as you can probably see. Please, take a seat.”
While you asked Detective Lee if he would like some tea, you kept an eye on the older detective who was now looking around the living room. You turned on the kettle- there was no way you were going to serve them the fancier teas you had. They would have to make do with teabags.
“How long since you moved here?”
“Is that related to your current investigation?” You asked and he scoffed.
“Come on, y/n. Don’t act like we’re strangers here. Are you still in contact with your family?”
And there it was.
“Not really,” you simply said. “I moved out for college and only visit annually.”
“How’s your mother doing?”
Your mother. Your brother. The people who destroyed you.
“She’s okay, probably,” you said. Your voice was already starting to crack, and that was not a good sign. The kettle turned off and you poured the boiling water carefully into the cups, wondering if Yunho returning early would make things better or worse.
“I moved here around that time too,” he said, taking the cup from you with thanks and after giving the other to Detective Lee, you went to stand near the kitchen, folding your arms again. “I visit a lot though. I heard your brother got into a good college.”
“Yeah, well,” you pursed your lips. “I suppose he did.”
“Do you still blame yourself for what happened back then?”
You pretended to not hear that question and asked the detective to take a seat. It was getting annoying now that he walked casually towards the kitchen, scanning the notes stuck on the fridge- Yunho’s “eat your dinner pls” that you only noticed now, your to-do list and grocery list, and the silly magnets. He made a face and placed his empty cup on the sink-
And then he spotted the knife holder.
“That’s a lot of knives,” he commented.
“I cook. A lot,” you said, wishing you had made that teabag tea for yourself too- anything to keep you from squirming. The detective looked at you suspiciously before taking his hand out of his pocket-
“Do not touch my knives, Detective,” you glared at him. “Can you please get out of the kitchen and wait in the living room?”
“I’m just looking,” he dismissed you and to your annoyance, took out one of the knives to examine, and then the other, then the other-
“I said, do not touch my knives.”
Yunho, who was standing outside the house near the kitchen window that was slightly ajar so he could hear everything, felt his heart swell in pride and admiration- he had never heard you state anything as strongly before. He contained in his sigh of relief, wondering if now was the right time to barge in.
Truth be told, he had spotted their car as soon as he entered the street and at first he thought that you had broken one of the rules and invited someone but upon a closer look, he realised with dread that the car belonged to the detectives who had just recently connected one of the cases with his clinic. He parked his bike in the garage and when he heard voices from the kitchen window, he went to eavesdrop and realised that they had just entered.
“No need to get so angry over some kitchen knives,” Detective Seo’s voice was stern. “What do you need so many for anyway? Are they yours?”
“I’m the only one who can cook,” you were seething now. “And what’s it to you?”
“Well, this one looks oddly familiar.”
“Yeah? It’s for cutting vegetables, Detective. I bet your wife owns it too- if you have one. That one’s for dicing, the one on top for fish because I feel like it remains stinky so it’s only for fish. You have a problem with that?”
Yunho stifled a smile- you were rambling now. He wondered why you didn’t simply tell them that they were his knives originally. He was positive the detectives would be connecting the dots right away and going back for an arrest warrant-
“Well, you see,” Detective Seo picked the longest knife out. “This one?”
“For meat,” you muttered.
“This one matches the murder weapon in the case we’re investigating,” he looked at you. “12 inches, dull but sharpened far too many times.”
“Yeah?” You scoffed. “So someone’s committed murder with a kitchen knife? They’re a genius.”
“How so?”
“Who doesn’t own a kitchen knife?” You almost cried. “They’re probably making a fool out of you, go back to your home and look in your kitchen. You probably have a 12 inch dull meat knife too.”
“How would you know?” Detective Lee asked this time. “That they’re making a fool out of us?”
“Why else would they use such an inconvenient weapon? Either for the thrill, or to make a fool out of you. Or both. Just… put the knife back, okay?”
“You’ve always been an odd one, and you always knew way too much,” Detective Seo put the knife back but narrowed his eyes at you. “Where were you on the 17th around midnight?”
“Around midnight, every day of every year for the past few years, I’ve been home. And I hope you go raiding everyone’s kitchen now that you know what your murder weapon looks like. Also, why are you even here? To investigate me? Again?”
“We came for Dr. Jeong-”
“You think he goes around committing murder only to operate on them later in his clinic? He’s a doctor, for Christ’s sake,” you shut your eyes, feeling a burning sensation in both your throat and eyes. “Please, leave. You can meet Dr. Jeong elsewhere- I’ll ask him to contact you.”
“And why are you getting so jittery?” Detective Seo asked. “Is there something you’re hiding again? Someone you’re protecting again? Or are you just protecting yourself-”
Yunho couldn’t take it anymore- he’d heard enough, and the whimper that left you made his vision dark for a moment. Rushing to the front door, he unlocked it and entered, shutting it a bit loudly to prove a point-
And saw you standing in the middle of the room, curling in on yourself, eyes weary. If hearing you sound like that wasn’t enough, having to look at you in this state was worse and he wished he had acted earlier. He didn’t know what took over him but he rushed to you and wrapped you in his arms-
And when you buried your face in his chest, relaxing instantly in his grasp, red hot anger ran through his veins as he assessed the detectives who stood awkwardly around him.
“How dare you make my girl cry?” He almost growled, wrapping his arms tighter, almost possessively around you. “What are you doing here?”
Detective Seo shook his head in disbelief and Detective Lee took the lead. “We came to talk to you about a few things- it’s very hard to reach you-”
“So you come barging into my house and bombard someone unrelated with questions and make her cry?” Yunho scoffed. “A phone call? Summoning me to the station? Or at least a search warrant, which I bet you don’t have, just like before. Shall I report you for misconduct?”
“Come on, don’t be like that,” Detective Seo finally butted in. “Y/n and I were just catching up- we’re actually acquaintances-”
You shook your head in Yunho’s grasp to let him know that you did not want to be a part of this ‘catching up’ and Yunho patted your back.
“She says otherwise,” Yunho caressed your hair. “I don’t care if you’ve met before. You’re clearly unwanted. Please, leave. You have my number, you can contact me later, but do not make the mistake of coming here again. And do not try to make contact with her again.”
Shrugging, the detectives left, Detective Lee muttering a silent apology on behalf of them both. When you heard the doors sound shut, you tried getting out of Yunho’s grasp to let him know he didn’t need to do that anymore-
But he only deepened the hug, leaning down this time to hold you better and you sighed at that. He rocked you gently back and forth, all the while caressing your head gently as if he meant to lull you to some calm space- and oh, was he successful. You were no longer crying.
Hesitantly, he broke away a bit to see if you were okay. Your eyes fluttered open, a bit red from crying and he cupped your face, wiping your tears.
“Why did you let them in, y/n?”
“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry-”
“No, it’s okay,” he assured you. “Did they force themselves inside?”
“Not really, but they were insisting on coming inside and waiting,” you sniffed. “Detective Seo- the older one… he knows me from when I was a kid and he started to get a bit too comfortable-”
“I know,” he told you and when you frowned in confusion, he said, “I actually heard a bit of it while I was parking.”
“A bit?”
“Most of it,” he admitted, breaking into a smile. “You did not have to defend my kitchen knives with all your might, y/n.”
You chuckled at that. “I don’t know, I got so angry! He kept walking around and it was annoying me so much- I thought giving him tea would make him sit, but no, he had to walk around with a cup in his hand-”
Yunho shook with laughter, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re too adorable at times.”
“And… I can’t believe I’m hearing the word adorable come out of your mouth,” you looked at him in disbelief. “Who are you? And where is Dr. Jeong?”
“It’s just Yunho,” he smiled and you smiled back, spending a moment just looking at him and realising that you were still way too close, in his arms, your heart fluttering uncontrollably.
“Well… just Yunho,” you said, your hands on his waist feeling clammy. “Thank you for coming at the right time. And thank you for… what you did.”
Yunho took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”
You pursed your lips, looking away. You could not answer that, because even if you lied to him, you would break down anyway. Detective Seo had opened the dam of unwanted, ugly memories and you were definitely not okay. You wouldn’t be for a while now-
But it looked like Yunho had made it his life’s mission to make sure you would feel okay. He brought you back in a hug and this time, you didn’t cry. You simply wrapped your arms around his waist better and listened to the sound of his heartbeat which somehow calmed you. To your surprise, he planted a kiss on the top of your head before he squeezed you in assurance.
You broke away to look at him. “What’s got you so… clingy and fluffy all of a sudden? Not that I don’t like it, but…”
Yunho tucked your hair away from your face, kissing your forehead this time and pretending he hadn’t heard that. It wasn’t the first time he got a closer look at you yet he committed everything to memory as if it was his first time seeing you. He couldn’t answer your question either, because…
He was pretty sure he had fallen for you a little when he heard you earlier. The way you never let the detectives think about him for even a second when you were being cornered with the knives- he was absolutely sure that you had not done that unintentionally. Sure, he had initially thought that if he ever got in trouble with the police, you could make a good cover, but now you had protected him on purpose. He would ask you about that, but first…
“Did you eat dinner?”
“Uh… no. I forgot.”
Yunho shook his head in disappointment. “I go away for one meal and you forget to eat.”
You pouted and he led you to the chair, making you sit. He poured a glass of water for you and after you drank it, he asked if you made something today. You told him you didn’t cook today and he sighed.
“So you only cook for me?”
“I like cooking… and I like cooking for you,” you pouted again, feeling exposed.
“But not cooking for yourself?” Yunho asked, making you look at him. “Why won’t you cook for yourself?”
You shrugged. You didn’t have an answer for that.
“Well, I’m not a good cook, but I’ll see what I can do…” he got up and you told him he did not have to, that what he did for you tonight was enough, but he told you to shut up and opened the fridge, taking out the kimchi and then looking through the cabinets-
“Ramyeon sounds good? That’s one thing I can cook well,” he grinned.
You nodded, getting comfortable and watching him roll his sleeves before he washed his hands in the sink, drying them with the blue bunny towel and then you stopped noticing what he was doing and instead noticed the veins on his arms, the faded scar near the elbow that probably ran up his upper arm, his broad shoulders and narrow waist, the dark hair that curled at the nape of his neck-
And those beautiful, beautiful hands that were now setting the pot on the table. You blinked, coming back to reality, and thanked him for the meal. He watched you eat for a few moments before he said, “I’m sorry you had to go through what you did today. It’s my fault.”
“Yunho,” you sighed, “It’s not.”
“It is,” he shook his head. “The detectives seemed to have created some ambiguous connection between me and their recent murder case. The victim used to be my patient, so they’ve been trying to visit me for a while but I kept putting it off- I really don’t like when they visit my workplace-”
“Of course,” you nodded. “No one would like that. You don’t have to explain it to me, Yunho. You don’t have to tell me anything-”
“Forget the rules,” he clicked his tongue in annoyance. “I want to explain because you can’t just put yourself between me and the detectives. How could you try to protect me without knowing what’s going on? And don’t try to deny that you weren’t doing exactly that.”
You took a bite and thought about it while you chewed. Once you swallowed, you answered. “I’ve known Detective Seo for twenty years. I’ve known you for what? Four months? Five? Guess who I trust more out of the two.”
Yunho looked away, somewhat in disbelief but again, overwhelmed by the way his heart was fluttering and his stomach was in knots. “Even when I’ve given you nothing?”
“It’s enough- I don’t need to hear your life story to trust you,” you finished eating the noodles. “I know who you are, and that’s enough.”
Yunho sighed internally- Wooyoung had warned him of this. He had practically manifested it. He had told Yunho that the way he talked about you and the way he treated you were very different and he needed to start manning up and ignoring whatever he was feeling inside. That had been in the earlier months. And now?
You claimed you knew him. What did you know, really? The person who set strict rules and got angry when he thought you broke one of them and made you cry? The doctor who got angry at you for bringing a patient to his clinic and later thanking you because you saved her from something worse? The person who took you to the place he loved yet told you nothing about it? What did you really know-
“I know you,” you began and Yunho wondered if he had said those thoughts out loud. “You’re the person who I thought was an asshole but I trusted because you… you have the kindest eyes. Even when you almost stabbed me to death-”
“That’s on you overthinking-”
“Yeah, I’m joking,” you laughed. “But… you get what I mean. I don’t need to know who you were, I know who you are. The doctor who’s too busy to take care of himself and his space. The person who’s everyone’s favourite at the clinic. The house owner who’s actually quite funny but takes a while to open up. The friend who helps me with my work in so many more ways than he realises. And… the man who is surprisingly protective and caring.”
Yunho buried his face in his hands- he couldn’t look at you now. He couldn’t-
“I don’t know why you keep holding yourself back, but can I ask what prompted you to do whatever you did earlier? You didn’t have to hug me like that,” you drank the rest of the water in the glass, waiting but he didn’t look at you. “You didn’t have to call me ‘your girl’ and shoo them away. You can’t just do things like that and expect me to remain normal and pretend it didn’t happen the next day- because I’ve had enough too. I’ve had enough of you staring at me like I’m either someone you want to kill or someone you want to… do things to. Also, while we’re talking about that- and yes, I’m rambing, but you really need to stop touching me so casually- I hope you have a rule about that somewhere too-”
Yunho finally removed his hands from his face and locked eyes with you. When you didn’t look away, wondering if you were going to regret this, he got up, making your heart sink thinking you really had made an awful mistake this time-
And then he leaned down towards you and to your utter surprise, he pecked your lips gently- once, twice. And then he pulled away to lock eyes with your wide ones.
“Can I take responsibility then? For my actions?”
When you nodded without realising that you had, he smiled, going around the table and sinking down to his knees. For you. You found your hands moving of their own accord, cupping his face with almost trembling hands for the first time and running a hand through his hair, finding them softer than you had imagined. You laughed in disbelief and knelt down to kiss his forehead- you didn’t have to kneel down much thanks to him being so tall. You joined your foreheads and just let that moment sink in, waiting for him to do something but it was as if he had completely submitted himself to you.
“Yunho,” you breathed, “Won’t you kiss me?”
All Yunho wanted was to obey. He tilted his head, your lips brushing and then he brought his hands to your bare knees, sending shivers through your entire being. While he caressed the skin, he pecked your lips cautiously and you almost cried at how hesitant he was. You took it upon yourself to lock your lips with his and that was all he needed to kiss you back, immediately taking lead and kissing you almost desperately as if he had waited a lifetime for this moment. You moved your lips along his, settling in a comfortable rhythm and you realised you quite liked the position-
But Yunho had other plans. He broke apart, gripping your legs in one arm and getting up, making you latch on to him with a squeal which earned a laugh from him as he settled you on the empty kitchen counter, now able to meet your eyes better. He stared at you intently for a few moments, his arms caging you between them and brought your arms to rest on his shoulders, linking them around his neck.
“I’d say something about how it took you way too long,” you kissed the tip of his nose. “But I’m afraid you’ll think I’ve always fantasised about this and leave me here and go in your cave.”
“Never again,” he promised, capturing your lips in a slow and gentle kiss. You had all the time in the world now and a morbid part of your mind wanted to thank Detective Seo for paying a visit tonight even though you despised him. Yunho swiped his tongue across your lips and you gladly opened up for him, the kiss getting heated as his tongue explored your mouth, clashing with your tongue. You couldn’t help but marvel how you both fit with each other so well.
You didn’t know how long you made out like that. Neither did you care, but naturally, you both broke apart and shared a giggle. He opened his arms for you and you gladly hugged him- his hugs were probably your most favourite thing about life now. He laughed at how you wrapped yourself around him like a cat so that he didn’t even have to hold you, simply wrap his arms around your back as he walked to the living room but you muttered ‘my room’ and he obeyed, walking in that direction-
And halting.
“What do you want me to do? Throw you in the pool of books and make out? Might hurt a little…”
“Oh, goodness,” you twisted in his arms to see the mess that your room was in right now. “I was sorting out books because I really have no space anymore and I was going to give away some tonight-”
“But you could put them in the living room? The shelves have some space?”
You hadn’t even considered that. You looked at him. “Can I use that space?”
“I mean… you’ve taken over the whole floor anyway,” he shrugged. “What harm a few books are gonna do?”
You smacked his arm and he laughed, putting you down on the floor. “Well, I should clean my mess then. Don’t want you complaining about how unruly your housemate is.”
“I’ll help,” he insisted and you scoffed.
“There’s no space for you to set a foot-”
“Then make some.”
“Oh?” You shot him a dirty look. “No plans to leave?”
“Do you want me to leave?” He asked cockily and you shook your head, immediately shoving a few books away and making space on the rug where he settled down and pulled you down in his lap, snuggling his face in your neck.
“Tell me about these books,” he muttered, his breath caressing your neck and before you could comment on the position, he kissed your neck lazily.
Well… perhaps it was better to shut up and obey.
“They are a part of me,” you smiled, picking the nearest one and reading the title while he continued kissing and sucking at your neck. “This one I read recently. I think you’ll like it- it’s about doctors- ah.”
Yunho smiled against your neck when you squirmed in his grasp. He had been teasing your sweet spot for far too long now and finally got to hear your pretty moan. “Really? What’s it about?”
“Doctors,” you muttered, tilting your neck and he dived back in. “And the problems they face, the power dynamics- Jeong Yunho, I swear to god-”
Yunho laughed deeply against your skin, drawing away to observe the reddening spot. You tried shifting in his grasp but he held you in your position. “Tell me about another book.”
“Yeah?” You scoffed when he started peppering kisses along your shoulders. “What if I just smack you on the head with one?”
“Tsk, tsk. Already?”
You shifted in his lap successfully this time and before you could yell at him, he was kissing you on the lips again and as you melted in his hold, you tossed the book in your hand away to cup his face.
Sorting the books and cleaning the mess could definitely wait.
—-----------------------------
Though you and Yunho had crossed some obvious boundaries now, you were unsure how that would affect the rules of living in his house. You weren’t only his housemate now, so perhaps, the rules could change?
You started wondering about that after a few days. You hadn’t made anything official yet- he was still working a lot and barely had any time for himself but whenever he got home, he would find you and wrap you in his arms while he asked you about your day. When you asked him the same, he would simply smile and say something like ‘just the usual’ or ‘busy day today’.
Nothing more. He probably recognised the look in your eyes- the look that said that you wanted more. Perhaps he ignored it on purpose. Perhaps, whenever he kissed you after, it was to make up for the lack of an answer.
If you thought about it objectively… you didn’t really mind. Work is work- what could doctors really share about their work? But you knew he wasn’t simply going to work, especially when he sometimes came home looking like he had been running for miles or with blood on his clothes. Surely, doctors wore a gown or something while operating or handling patients. His lab coat never had blood on it, so why would he have blood on his clothes and why would he sometimes look like he got in a fight? He could definitely feel your apprehension even though you pretended to be okay about it.
Perhaps, he liked you because you didn’t ask. That didn’t mean you weren’t curious- now more so than ever. It wasn’t like being whatever you were to him now gave you any right to probe, but you couldn’t help pay a visit to his clinic tonight and see if he was really working a night shift- he had gone out in a rush earlier muttering something about an emergency. You only went to make sure he was okay, was what you told yourself-
It was certainly not because of your growing suspicion of what he really did. Nor was it because you wanted to double-check how Detective Seo told you that Yunho’s clinic had separate staff for night shifts and he definitely didn’t need to be present every night. It definitely wasn’t because Yeosang slipped when he accidentally told you Yunho had no shift a few nights ago when Yunho himself had told you he had one. And it definitely was not how you suddenly realised one day while writing your novel that Yunho’s answers to your odd questions were a bit too specific- like when you asked him about being stabbed in a certain location with a certain weapon and he slept on it and had a rather specific answer the next day. His answers were always a bit too detailed.
You would have ignored all of it but you found yourself inside the clinic and learned from the kind lady at the reception who thought it was cute that you came to check on him that Yunho only had one night shift a week. But according to what he told you, he had night shifts five days a week.
Just what was he doing?
You absently walked home and instead of writing, you just mindlessly cleaned the nooks and crannies in the living room, your mind too numb to think of possibilities. Perhaps, you needed to start defining things with Yunho- beginning with what your relationship was, exactly, and if it was more than housemates you both definitely needed to talk about a few things-
When you heard the door unlock, you looked at the time- it was almost 4 in the morning. You hadn’t realised how quickly time passed. Yunho entered, looking pretty much the same as he did when he left. You managed a smile and he told you he would be right back, rushing upstairs. You went to wash your hands in the meantime, wondering if you should ask him- would he be angry to learn you went out looking for him? Would he appreciate your concern, or would he shut himself away like he has always done-
“Y/n?” Yunho’s voice brought you back to your senses and you realised you had been zoning out in front of the sink, the tap still running water. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just tired,” you told him, drying your hands and going towards the kitchen to get yourself water. You needed to get a grip.
“You don’t look okay,” Yunho’s brows were furrowed in concern. “Did something happen while I was away?”
“I promise I’m fine,” you said, though you were sure your smile was still unconvincing- or maybe Yunho was just too good at looking right through you. “How was your night shift? Did you get a lot of patients tonight?”
“It was okay,” Yunho exhaled deeply. “A few. Not too busy.”
You nodded slowly. For a moment, you wondered if he was doing night shifts in a different workplace. Perhaps, he had never lied and you just hadn’t figured out that he had jobs at two different places-
“You’re staring,” Yunho commented, tilting his head in thought. You broke eye contact, scanning his clothes- as neat as when he left for ‘work’. “You didn’t meet Detective Seo, did you?”
“No, why?”
“That’s the only time I’ve seen you look like this. Come on, you’re making me worried,” Yunho took a step closer, tucking your hair behind your ear. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s stupid,” you laughed, deciding to tackle at least one thing tonight. “You’ll make fun of me or you'll shut yourself in your cave.”
“You need to stop calling it a cave,” Yunho laughed a bit.
“Until I see it, it’s a cave to me,” you shrugged. “Who knows what you do there?”
“You want to see it?” He asked, absently caressing your cheekbone and your eyes widened.
“That… is not what I meant- I’m curious, yes, but I don’t want to invite myself up there.”
“Well,” Yunho put his hands on your shoulders. “It looks horrible right now- it’s messy and if I bring you upstairs, you’ll forget you’re tired and start cleaning the mess. Some other day?”
“Whenever is okay, it’s probably boring and plain,” you said dismissively and he nodded in satisfaction.
“Then what is really weighing on your mind?”
“Shit, I thought you forgot about it,” you muttered but he wasn’t going to let you go. His grip on your shoulders tightened a fraction. “Look, I’m not trying to be that person and I really, really don’t mind how we are and what we are-”
“Get to the point-”
“What are we?”
Yunho blinked. “Sorry, what?”
“What are we?” You sighed. “I love what we are. I don’t mind it one bit, but I feel like we’re still housemates and there’s still this wall between us and if that’s how things should be… I can work with that. I just… I wish there wasn’t such ambiguity- stop grinning like an idiot, will you?”
“Well,” Yunho stifled another grin. “What do you think we are?”
“I don’t know,” you pouted. “That’s what I’m asking.”
“I don’t know,” Yunho shrugged, straightening and bringing you closer so you were almost flush against him. “I don’t think we’d be doing this if we were ‘just housemates’.”
“My point exactly,” you muttered. “I’m confused. What rules still apply? Can I interfere in your personal life? Can I ask you more than I should? There’s still so much I don’t know about you and sometimes I feel like you’re miles away, Yunho.”
Yunho’s heart ached- he wanted nothing more than to bare his entire soul in front of you. He had considered that seriously over the past few days. He was pretty sure if anyone in this world would understand his reasons for what he did and still want to be with him, it would be you, but what if he was wrong about you? What if he had signed himself to an inevitable heartbreak? If so, how could he ever recover?
“I’m right here,” Yunho kissed your forehead. “You can ask me anything but can I answer at my pace?”
That was enough. You nodded and he smiled, pecking your lips. “Thank you.”
“I’ll wait for you,” you told him. “And I know you’re curious about a few things too- you can ask me anything and I’ll answer at my own pace. Okay?”
Yunho couldn’t help it- he cupped your face and kissed you, wondering how you were so perfect. How could you trust him like this? He sometimes wondered if he was dreaming- there was no way you were real. And he told you that every day, just like he did now, and just like always, you smacked his arm as you blushed.
“You should tell me something else- I’m kind of tired of hearing that,” you laughed.
“Nothing else makes you laugh like this,” Yunho kissed you again, lingering. “You know I love it when you laugh.”
You kissed him back, forgetting all your worries and you felt the exhaustion wash away from your bones as he bent down to pick you up so he could kiss you better. You wrapped your arms around his neck and let him take you to the living room- to the couch which was probably your favourite place in this house now, where Yunho and you would spend hours with each other.
As he settled you down on the couch, he broke apart and locked eyes with you. “Well, do you still think we’re just housemates?”
“God, you really got stuck on that one, huh?” You poked his chest. “Okay. You’re what? My boyfriend?”
Yunho’s lips parted and a smile crawled on his lips. “I kind of like the sound of that.”
“Geez, have you never been in a relationship,” you teased and he laughed out loud.
“Just not like this one, no,” he traced your lips with his thumb. “You’re… different.”
“Bet you told that to everyone before me,” you scoffed and he pecked your lips to shut you up. You smiled into the kiss, your hands wandering down his chest and stopping at his hips, snaking up his shirt on his bare skin which earned a light groan from him. You instinctively squeezed his side-
And he stopped kissing you right then. You wondered if you had done something wrong and when you drew apart, you realised he looked as if he was in pain. You frowned, your hands still there while Yunho stifled another groan and when you pressed on both his sides, he finally exhaled-
“You’re hurt, aren’t you?” You whispered, drawing his shirt up without permission and gasping when you saw a big red bruise on his right side as if he had been punched.
“Y/n,” Yunho called in warning but you weren’t having any of it anymore- you pulled his shirt up and if Yunho hadn’t been bracing himself up on either sides of you to keep himself from falling on top of you, he would have stopped you, but now you were staring at his upper body in horror and worry.
You let go of the shirt and it fell down to cover his secrets. You looked at Yunho who couldn’t meet your eyes. “Won’t you let me help you? Won’t you let me take care of you?”
Yunho simply sighed, wondering what to do, what to say. He knew this day would come eventually but he hadn’t imagined it to be like this. He let you gently push him back on the couch and without a word, you went to your room. He slumped down, rubbing his face-
Of all the days, it had to be today. Had to be tonight when he made a mistake and hurt himself. You reappeared out of your room with a medical kit and settled down next to him.
“You’re the doctor, Yunho,” you said and showed him the ointments and medicines in the kit, noticing a number of scars on his body and finally getting a good look at the scar that ran up his arm all the way to the middle of his upper arm. “Tell me how to take care of you.”
Yunho passed you a look, finding the lack of expressions on your face kind of disturbing. Just what were you thinking? He sighed and took out the ointment for the bruise- one he had in his room as well and would have used had he not been distracted by you. You nodded and took the ointment, spreading it along his bruise and gently rubbing it in. Once done, you got up and inspected the rest of his upper body.
“Are you sure that’s the only place you’re hurt?”
“Yep,” he assured you. “You can relax now.”
You scoffed at that, putting the kit aside and folding your arms as you looked at him. “Look… If you don’t want me to, I won’t ask, but you’re not just a doctor. I’m right about that, aren’t I?”
When he didn’t respond, you understood. You were right, and he probably couldn’t say anything. “Do you trust me, Yunho?”
“Y/n, it’s not about trust-”
“Just tell me- do you trust me?”
He locked eyes with you. “Of course I do. If I didn’t… I would have kicked you out long ago, y/n, and I would have never....”
That seemed to satisfy you and when he found the faintest hint of a smile on your lips, he finally relaxed a bit. “I trust you, but there are things I cannot tell you- not right now.”
“I know,” you nodded. “You can stop lying about your night shifts- just say you’re going somewhere. I won’t ask until you tell me.”
Yunho blinked in surprise- just how long ago had you figured him out?
“Also… I would appreciate it if the next time you get hurt, you let me know instead of surprising me like this.”
“Do you… know something you’re not telling me, y/n?”
You smiled at Yunho. If he wasn’t so genuine with his words and his feelings, you would have demanded answers, but what you had with him was special in its own way. No questions asked wasn’t such a bad rule- because you knew that when he answered your questions, you would have to answer his too.
“Do I? I don’t know,” you shrugged. “But I have a feeling that you and I aren’t so different, Yunho.”
Yunho wished he could tell you who he was- his friends insisted he was not a ‘murderer’ like he would often call himself but a vigilante. A hero to most, an enemy to the others- especially the police who had been on his tail for a while now. How could you possibly be the same as him? He had killed people with his own hands, and though it could be argued that he only killed the worst of criminals, if Hongjoong hadn’t been there the night his parents were killed, he could very well be in prison for attempted murder or worse.
All these years, as he killed one corrupted individual after another, he was convinced that he was the one who was truly corrupted inside. He was the one who needed to meet the fate that anyone who encountered him did. His friends, especially Hongjoong, were aware that there was a twisted part inside him that took joy in the simple act of killing people- people who stole from others. Stole their loved ones, their life, their hard work. You couldn’t possibly be as bad as him, could you? There was absolutely no way-
“Stop thinking so much,” you whispered, placing your hand on his and he immediately shifted so he was holding your hand, squeezing it as if he needed some assurance. “I just want you to be careful, okay? Whatever you do… stay safe, will you?”
“How can you trust me so blindly?” Yunho asked.
“I told you, right?” You smiled. “I know who you are- at least to me. That’s enough for me.”
Yunho smiled back, burying his face in the crook of your neck and you wrapped your arm around his bare shoulders, burying your hand in his hair and caressing them gently. You let go of Yunho’s hand only to trace the long scar on his arm, wishing you could ask how he got it but you would wait. You kissed his temple and he sighed, nuzzling against you.
“I’m afraid…” Yunho confessed in a voice so small you were wondering if you were hearing things. “I’m afraid you’ll run away when you learn who I am.”
Your heart sank at his words. He was just like you. In all your previous relationships, you made people run away from you. You could never give them what you wanted. They would find you too secretive or too accepting. Little did they know that you were only hiding your ugly past and trying your best not to let it interfere with your life.
“You couldn’t possibly be worse than me,” you told him and that prompted him to lift his head to look at you. “I’m convinced I’m a monster. Could you love a monster, Yunho?”
Yunho took in your blank gaze as you said those words and he realised that perhaps, you were right. Perhaps, you were just like him too, with some twisted part inside you, something that had you convinced that you were a monster.
And if that was the case… he could love you. He wanted nothing more than to love you and tell you that you made him feel human even at his worst, so he leaned forward to kiss you slowly, letting you know what he felt through the way he held your waist and brought you on top of him, through the way he held you so close to him and sighed when you wrapped your arms around his, through the way he started trailing kisses everywhere on your skin. And when you gave him more, he accepted it. If that was the last time you would ever look at him and not feel horrified, he was going to make sure he made you feel loved so he forgot about all his worries and smiled at you playfully, beyond relieved when you bit your lips in excitement.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” Yunho whispered, sucking at your neck- he had a thing for that certain spot, you had realised now.
“We haven’t even begun, though,” you commented and Yunho paused, considering your words. He experimentally snaked his hand up your thigh and when you only kissed his temple in response, he understood.
An invitation.
“Shall we take this to bed, then?”
You nodded, sharing an open-mouthed kiss before he got up and started going towards your room.
If only he knew that your invitation was for the same reasons as his.
—---------------------------
For all your talk about trust, you sure were walking on the fine line that marked trust from betrayal.
And if things hadn’t turned out the way they had been turning out for the past two weeks, you would have never been here. You scoffed internally as you took another turn into a dark alley, a safe distance behind Yunho so he wouldn’t notice your presence- anything to convince yourself that you were only doing this to make sure he would be safe. To make sure he wouldn’t hurt himself again-
Because you had a gut feeling that something was going to happen tonight, and your gut was never, ever wrong. Your gut had saved (or doomed, it could be argued) you two decades ago. You could trust yourself with that.
Though, again, that was debatable as well. Was it your gut that had you all nervous and hypervigilant or was it the growing suspicions about Yunho?
Because a few days ago, Detective Seo called you and requested that you visit the station. You would have ignored him had he not been so polite for once. Ultimately, the reason you visited him was because you wanted to clear his suspicions of you and get him off your tail- you had finally settled in this town at peace and you couldn’t have the detective ruining that.
And also, a small part of you wanted to learn more about why he suspected Yunho.
You discovered during your visit that you were right- your involvement in his investigation of Yunho made him suspicious of you. You learned that the reason he was so intent on having Yunho come to the station and give a proper statement was because a few of his alibis no longer held any validity- he had said something about a night shift when he had none. The detective didn’t like how the doctors and a few of the staff members around him were so uncooperative and secretive. If that wasn’t enough, the detective was still curious about the 12-inch knife in your kitchen.
He joked about how he or his colleagues didn’t own a 12-inch meat knife at home- apparently a non-professional one was usually 7 to 10 inches long. You told him that it was irrelevant but when he mentioned how his suspect had stopped using kitchen knives a few months ago and switched to a dagger of a unique built, it had you wondering-
The detective didn’t know those knives actually belonged to Yunho, which was why he was also suspecting you now. What if you told him? What if the timing of the change of the murder weapon matched?
You only asked the detective if he really believed you were capable of wielding daggers and he shook his head in denial. You then asked if he really thought the surgeon could be a suspect in his case.
“I can’t tell you what it is, but we have substantial evidence to keep an eye on him, at least. If it’s him, he’s not alone.”
And that’s what got you thinking if you were wrong about who Yunho and his friends were. Especially when only a couple days later you went to visit them at the clinic with some fresh cookies and you got a peek at the register at reception that had a schedule of all doctors and you learned that Yunho had no night shift for the rest of the week-
Only to find him lying about it and hearing the news about the murder of a renowned politician while he was god knows where.
You didn’t ask Yunho why he lied about the night shift because he had agreed not to make up that excuse again. You casually confirmed with Wooyoung if he had really been at the clinic that night and he told you he had, but you weren’t done there. You double-checked with the young girl at reception in the clinic- she was quite a fan of your cookies and now that she knew you and Yunho were close, she willingly confirmed that Yunho had indeed not been at the clinic that night. Neither had any of his friends.
You wished you could simply confront Yunho and ask but he was still hesitant. And really, you would have let everything be. You would have waited for him, but tonight?
Tonight he told you he was going to the clinic to meet up with Wooyoung and give him some company during his boring night shift. Pretty believable, but your gut twisted as soon as he stepped out and you knew that you just had to make sure that he was going to the clinic. You covered yourself with a jacket and scarf, grabbed the keys and wore your shoes-
Changing your mind and going to the kitchen to grab a little something before finally stepping out.
And that’s how you got here, one bus ride and a good walk later, deep in some abandoned part of the town following Yunho through the alleys until he stopped abruptly, making you take a few steps back and hide yourself in a corner. Strangely, Yunho seemed to be inspecting the area. What for, you didn’t know. He looked around and checked if the gate at the end of the alley was really locked. After thorough inspection which made you wonder if he was looking for someone or something, he started walking in your direction, probably to leave. You discreetly slid down and away so he would cross you without looking in your direction, and thankfully, he did.
You sighed, wondering if tonight had been a waste in which case your guilty conscience wouldn’t let you sleep for a good few days unless you came clean to Yunho. You were just following him back because you were pretty sure you would get lost otherwise when you spotted another man at the opposite end of the street. Instinctively, you hid again and waited for the man to continue along that street and get out of your way-
Except he turned in the street in Yunho’s direction.
You made a face and decided to fall behind the two- surely the man would be on his own way soon, except there was something odd about the way he was walking-
He was walking just like you had been- short, quick and silent steps, a good distance behind Yunho to avoid encountering him. Was he following Yunho too? How did he know Yunho would be here? Had he seen you- did he know you were here? It was too dark to make out who he was.
The two turned to another street and the man kept following him even after the crossroads, confirming your suspicions that Yunho was being followed. Perhaps, Yunho had been waiting for this man when he had been looking around the alley-
A sharp glint near the man’s thigh caught your attention and with a sinking heart, you realised-
The man was wielding a weapon. Something sharp that looked an awful lot like the very knife you had hidden inside your jacket.
You froze for a few moments that you knew would cost you something. There was just too much to consider- the feeling of impending doom, the worry for Yunho’s life, the fight-or-flight response making its way to control your future actions and worst of all, the feeling that you were back where you had been when you were still a child trying to protect your father from a situation just like this.
And as the man’s pace quickened and the distance between him and Yunho got shorter, you let the child that had murdered a grown man to protect a loved one take over. Just like that night, you raised your knife in the air without realising when you actually took it out of your jacket. And just like that time, you found yourself running towards the man- this time, experienced and calculating. You would have to congratulate yourself for being so certain about what you were doing-
“Yunho, watch out!”
Though Yunho recognised your voice immediately, the fear in your voice was unfamiliar and he turned around with dread pooling in his nerves, his eyes widening as he tried to process an unfamiliar face of a man with a weapon aimed at him- way too close- and then your figure, perhaps as unfamiliar this time, running towards the man. Yunho instinctively dodged the attack and before he could react further, you collided with the man, crashing on the floor with grunts.
Every nerve in your body screamed as you both clawed at each other while trying not to hurt yourselves, getting nicked here and there and before the man could actually think and overpower you, you buried the length of your knife between his collarbones, effectively disarming him and the man’s eyes widened as he whimpered in pain-
No.
“Y/n,” Yunho almost cried as he sank down next to you, spotting the horror in your eyes and in that moment, he knew only one thing- that he couldn’t let you burden yourself with having to live with blood on your hands. He inspected the stab on the man’s neck, sucking in his breath when he realised the knife in your hand was from your kitchen- the same damned knife he had spilled blood with. The man coughed blood and your grip on the knife finally loosened as you realised just what you had done.
While you remained frozen in your spot, Yunho realised that the man was beyond help though with the current position of the knife in his throat, he was going to bleed to death for a long while before he could let go. So Yunho made a decision and gently unwrapped your hands from the knife, squeezing them to make you look at him.
“Y/n? Are you with me?”
His voice felt miles away, drowned by the ringing in your ears and you could only blink. Yunho took a deep, shaky breath. “Do you trust me?”
You didn’t know how long you stared at him but he gently shook your shoulder, making you crawl away from the shivering body of the man. “Y/n, do you trust me?”
This time, you did hear him and you nodded slowly, still in a trance. “Yunho- save him, please-”
Yunho had his answer. He slid the knife out of the spot between his collarbones only to stab him on another spot in his neck not far from the original and you watched in horror as the man groaned once before falling limp. Yunho put a hand over the wounds as if that could possibly stop the bleeding and then he asked you to take off your scarf. You weren’t sure you heard him right but with his free hand he started to unwind the scarf from around your neck. You didn’t make any effort to help him- you simply watched him wrap your scarf around his neck to stop further bleeding-
“He’s dead,” you practically spat out. “Why do you need to stop the bleeding now?”
Yunho didn’t answer. Once his hands were free, he bent down to pick the man and started walking back to the alley, stopping when he realised you weren’t following him. He turned to look at you, eyes void of emotions. “Aren’t you going to come?”
You got up with immense struggle, looking around- why was there no one to help? Why was this abandoned area so empty in the middle of the night? You grabbed the man’s knife and started following Yunho, your hands and legs shaking uncontrollably and each step got harder to take. When you reached the spot Yunho had checked out earlier, he laid the man’s body down and you finally sank to the floor, drawing your knees to your chest and trying to breathe. You could hear him talking into the phone to someone, giving them the address.
All you knew was that you had killed someone. Again. And this time, your father wasn’t there to protect you and take the blame. This time, you weren’t a child who needed such protection. You were an adult and you had killed-
You felt arms wrap around your figure and you finally let out a shaky sob though your eyes remained dry. Yunho rubbed your back and asked you to breathe with him, drawing away and rubbing your cold hands in his to share some warmth- though his were just as cold. You could only see the blood on your hands, on your clothes-
“Y/n, listen to me carefully,” his deep voice echoed inside you. “You didn’t kill the man, okay?”
“You’re lying,” your teeth were chattering with cold and fear now. “I killed him.”
“No,” Yunho shook his head. “You protected me. I killed him.”
“You can’t do this to me, not you too,” you finally cried. “Not you too. I killed again, and this time, I’ll take responsibility.”
Yunho took a moment to process what you had said as he scanned your figure- everything finally started to make sense though there was still so much he needed answers to. “Listen to me. You didn’t deliver the killing blow. I did. I’m the one who killed him.”
“You and I both know he would have died anyway,” you locked eyes with him and Yunho knew then that it was no use trying to convince you that you weren’t to blame. “You just made it easier for him.”
Yunho didn’t respond to that. He simply kept rubbing your hands as if that could turn back time and make things right. When you heard the sound of footsteps, you got tense and almost panicked but Yunho assured you it was just his friends and everything would be okay soon. You watched Wooyoung and Mingi assess the situation, not reacting much and numbly, you let Wooyoung accompany you to his car. You kept looking for Yunho though and Wooyoung smiled a bit despite the situation, assuring you that he would be right there.
While on your way, Wooyoung made sure you were warm and made you eat a few bites of chocolate, telling you you would need it. You asked him how he was so calm right now- was it not his first time that something like this happened?
“Something tells me it’s not your first time either, y/n,” he simply responded and you fell silent after that.
You shut your eyes and let your mind wander about what was going to happen next. Sure, you felt a sense of security being around Yunho- he had done something you could never have imagined- but there was still a small part of you thinking about how this was the end for you. You were going to go to prison. Perhaps you would meet the same fate as your father. Your mother and brother would certainly be pleased to see you behind bars. You could hear their laughter and the ‘I told you so’ even now-
“Y/n?” Yunho’s gentle voice made you open your eyes. “We’re here.”
You looked at ‘here’ which was another abandoned area with dimly lit streets and a warehouse which Hongjoong was unlocking the doors of. Yunho helped you out of the car- you definitely needed that since your legs were still wobbly. You noticed that not everyone made it back and you asked him where they were.
“They’re taking a detour- they’ll be here in a few minutes.”
You nodded and followed him inside and if the circumstances would have been different, you could have appreciated how well organised the inside of the warehouse was, looking like a home with couches and games and fridge and enough space to do anything and everything. It looked like a hideout and you smiled faintly before sitting on the couch. Hongjoong brought you beer and you gladly accepted, taking a few gulps and letting Wooyoung wrap a blanket around you, letting Yunho clean the blood off your hands and spotting the cuts littering your hands and arms. Now that there was enough light, he could spot the numbness in your eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, suddenly breaking out of your trance. “Are you? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m okay,” he breathed. “Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m good, I…” you looked at your scarred hands. “I’m… okay.”
“Y/n,” Yunho took your hands in his again and you met his worried eyes. “How did you know? Why did you follow me?”
“I… I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” you sighed and he squeezed your hands. “I’m sorry-”
“It’s alright, but I need to know what happened tonight so I can help you, okay?” Yunho said and you nodded, straightening.
“I knew you had no night shift today- I saw in the register by chance,” you told him and he nodded. “So when you said you were going, I knew you were lying. I would have let you go, trust me, but… I had a feeling something was about to happen. Or maybe… maybe I was just too suspicious- because Detective Seo said if it was you, you weren’t alone-”
“You met Detective Seo again?” He asked, his tone still gentle but you spotted Seonghwa looking at you apprehensively. “Why?”
“He called me to the station a few days ago because he was suspicious of me- the knives,” you let out a nervous laugh and Yunho nodded, understanding. “He told me his suspect’s murder weapon and method had changed and the timing was just a bit off. He knew it couldn’t be me but we have history so he just needed to make sure.”
“Did you tell him about Yunho- or anything?” Seonghwa asked.
Yunho gently warned Seonghwa but you told him it was okay. “He doesn’t know the knives belong to Yunho and he is just suspecting him because apparently your alibis are invalid now. That’s all he’s got on you, actually.”
They all sighed in relief and you heard the doors open, the rest of them joining you and exchanging drinks. “You’re all oddly calm about all of this.”
“We’re doctors,” Yeosang commented. “We have to be calm at times like this.”
“You’re oddly calm too,” San noticed.
“That’s what I said,” Wooyoung quipped in and Yunho asked you if the boys were overwhelming you but you shook your head no.
“Can you tell me what happened next? Why did you follow me?”
You took a deep breath. “I said Detective Seo and I have history. When I was little… about two decades ago, I… we lived in a small town, the four of us. My father was in debt and he often had to run away from gangsters and loan sharks. One day, he got cornered by one of the men and he had a gun- he looked like he was about to shoot my dad. My mom was protecting us- me and my brother, but I… I did what I could to protect him. I went to the kitchen, grabbed the first knife I saw and stabbed that man multiple times in the back.”
“Oh, y/n,” Yunho’s voice sounded pained and you heard a chorus of sucked breaths and exhales. Your hands started trembling again and Yunho squeezed them, planting a kiss to your knuckles which just made tears pool in your eyes.
“I did that to protect him,” your voice was just as shaky as your hands now. “That man died and my father ended up taking all the blame to protect me from the police. Detective Seo was in charge of that case and he always suspected me- especially because my mother and brother started hating me for putting my dad in such a situation. He found all of it odd. So tonight… I had a feeling just like that night- like something bad was about to happen. Or maybe I’m just making up that excuse to cover the fact that I betrayed your trust and followed you to see just what you were up to-”
“No,” Yunho embraced you, planting a kiss on top of your head. “Even if you followed me because you were suspicious, you were right to do so. I shouldn’t have lied about the night shift- anyone would have suspected me after that. It just slipped- it’s my fault.”
“It’s not,” you wiped your eyes, drawing away. “I shouldn’t have followed you-”
“You saved me,” Yunho smiled at you. “Your gut feeling, your suspicions… they were right. If it weren’t for you-”
“But I killed him,” you cried. “You cannot take the blame for it now.”
Seonghwa cleared his throat. “We’ve uh… identified the man. Yunho, you might want to tell her who you really are.”
Yunho nodded, wiping your tears away. “Do you want to stay here? Or do you want to go home?”
“I think I’d like to go home… if that’s alright with you guys,” you said and the boys assured you that it was. Yunho got up and took the car keys from Seonghwa, sharing a few words with him and Wooyoung and Mingi asked you if you needed anything. You told them you were fine but you would like to be in the comfort of your own home right now and they understood.
“If Yunho bothers you too much, you can call us,” Mingi teased. “We’ll take care of him.”
“I think it’s the other way round, but thank you,” you finally laughed. “Can I ask- what will happen to that man? The body…”
“Yunho will let you know- you don’t have to worry about anything,” Wooyoung assured you and when Yunho extended his hand, you took a deep breath and took it.
You were going home, and you were finally going to learn who Yunho was.
—--------------------------
It was surreal to enter your home now, Yunho by your side and the weight of the events from the past few hours hanging over your shoulders. You both went to change first and you found yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror as you washed your face and hands. You took a few deep breaths to calm down, as best as you could manage in that moment before leaving and finding the smell of chamomile tea in the living room. Yunho motioned for you to join him on the couch and you passed a tight-lipped smile before obeying. You sipped the tea and waited for Yunho to gather his thoughts.
“When I was in high school,” Yunho finally began and you shifted towards him to watch him. “One night, a serial killer decided my parents were his next victims. He followed my mom home and killed both of them, and I… I wasn’t home- by the time I came home, he was done killing them.”
“Oh, dear,” you held Yunho’s hand. You couldn’t imagine what he must have felt.
“I saw him leaving,” Yunho sighed deeply. “Hongjoong was with me- he witnessed everything. He tried to stop me from going after the killer but I grabbed a metal rod and went after the man. He had a knife and that’s how I got this scar,” Yunho pointed at his arm. “Hongjoong saved me that night but I lost a part of me that night. A part that was human. I became almost animalistic, trying to find the killer.”
“Did you ever find him then?” You asked.
“I did, but after he died,” Yunho slumped back on the couch. “I couldn’t get my revenge. It wasn’t long after that incident. I lost my mind and was about to become the very killer I hated. Hongjoong saved me yet again- he knew that I wouldn’t stop at anything now. I was getting into a lot of fights and basically ruining my life.”
“How did he save you then?”
“He handed me a dagger and told me to do what I must with it,” Yunho admitted. “I was shocked because usually he was the one hiding anything that could become a weapon from me. But then I realised that I was only trying to protect innocent people like my parents. I would aimlessly walk the streets and help anyone who needed it.”
“That’s… very you,” you smiled and Yunho shook his head.
“I’m not a good person, though,” he said. “Somehow, we found each other, the eight of us. We select targets- corrupt politicians, rapists, offenders… especially the people who are public figures and lead double lives. We send hints to the police so they can do their job but when they don’t… we take the matter into our own hands.”
“Oh,” you frowned. “The politician a few days ago-”
“Not me,” Yunho shook his head. “Though he was my next target.”
“So you… kill them?”
“We only kill when someone is powerful enough to get away with all their crimes,” Yunho admitted and your heart sank dangerously- hearing it from his own mouth now, it finally started to feel real.
“Isn’t that… okay?” You wondered. “The police can’t do anything and they would only cause further harm if they are alive.”
“Yes, but…” Yunho tucked your hair behind your ear. “I shouldn’t enjoy it so much, should I? I think I’m twisted like that, y/n. I feel no remorse.”
You looked at him- how could you tell him that you understood? That you were okay with that? He would tell you over and over again that it was wrong, because he knew that too. You knew that too, yet…
“It’s kind of ironic then, that you all are doctors, right?” You finally said and he coughed, making you laugh a little- more in disbelief than in amusement. “So all your night shifts…?”
“We meet up at the warehouse to plan and work on new cases,” Yunho said.
“And the man that I…”
“We identified him- the boys are digging up further but we’re suspecting he’s the copycat killer.”
“The copycat killer?” You repeated in disbelief. “Copying who- oh.”
Yunho pursed his lips guiltily. “Those kitchen knives… they were murder weapons. Now you know why I got so angry when you used them to cook.”
“Oh, goodness-”
“Don’t worry, I sanitised them,” he said as if that could make things better. “When I stopped using them, someone kept murdering people with similar weapons. And not just carefully selected scum- innocent people. It was why Detective Seo suspected me at first and then let me go easily because it just didn’t match. He probably figured out that someone is copying the real killer.”
You took a deep breath. “I killed… a serial killer?”
“Yes,” Yunho held your hands, making you face him. “Do you know how badly the events of tonight could have turned out?”
“But he was going to kill you,” you said. “He had it all planned- he was waiting for you, Yunho. You could have been seriously hurt tonight- do you realise that?”
“I can’t believe you’re still worried about me,” Yunho almost cried. “Do you have any idea what went through my head when I saw you throwing yourself in the way to protect me… I thought I was going to lose you, y/n. Why did you do that?”
“I can’t lose you,” you simply said. “It felt like I was back to being that kid trying to protect my father. Why did you kill him without knowing who he was? Why did you try to take the blame, Yunho? Do you know how scared I was when you did that?”
When Yunho didn’t respond, his eyes tearing up, you continued. “I thought it was happening all over again. You would take the blame and I would have to live with the guilt. I’ve lived with guilt for far too long, Yunho. My father… he never made it out of prison. He was never a criminal and I guess the other prisoners found out, and they… they killed him. My mother and brother never forgave me after that. Do you think I could live with something like this again?”
Yunho wiped his eyes. “I understand, y/n, I really do,” he nodded. “But you have to understand that I was scared for you tonight. You shouldn’t have done any of that- the police will find the man’s body with all his crimes soon, but even if he was someone innocent, you shouldn’t have done that-”
“I did that to protect you,” you smiled. “What’s so hard to understand about that? Just like you delivered the killing blow to protect me, yeah? Why did you do that?”
“Because I love you,” Yunho breathed. “And I couldn’t bear to see that broken look in your eyes.”
“But we’re both broken in our own ways,” the tears finally rolled down your cheeks at his confession and he laughed a little, wiping them away as he cupped your face. “Is that why you’ve been so distant? So unapproachable? You thought you were broken and no one could love you?”
When Yunho nodded, you shook your head. “Well, I might be just like you then. And I love you for who you are. I love you for the way you tried to protect me, and I love you for still loving me when I told you who I am.”
Yunho finally relaxed and laughed, bringing you in for a hug and you got in his lap, wrapping your limbs around each other. You hugged him good and tight, telling him that he didn’t have to be so guarded anymore- he could be himself with you. He kissed you and told you that you could stop being so scared as well. You found yourself content in his embrace as you both shared your pasts and concerns, assuring each other that everything would be okay and helping each other process the events of tonight, Yunho treating the various places you got nicked and patching you up. You were still scared and anxious but he was there for you, holding you even as you fell asleep.
There was no place he would rather be anyway.
—----------------------------
“The snake in the suit was cornered now. With a grim realisation, he wondered if he should have listened to the lanky cop on his case that he couldn’t even bother to remember the name of– he probably meant well when he suggested the snake be careful now. What would the snake need to be afraid of? The snake was a predator. It only needed to worry about finding prey.
However, the predator had become the prey now, defenceless in front of the masked spider who wielded his weapon of justice- a beautifully carved dagger with a golden hilt. For the first time in his life, the snake wished it had been a gun instead so his end would have been quick. However, just like the snake had enjoyed wearing the face of justice to the public while circulating drugs to the desperate, the spider enjoyed wearing no mask when he prosecuted his targets. The spider had one purpose to serve- so why not enjoy it?
The spider leaned into the snake’s ears, holding the tip of his dagger under the snake’s chin as he whispered, “I sent you countless warnings, didn’t I? I told you what fate you would meet if you continued down this road. Prison would have been a playground for you compared to the hell I’m about to show you.”
Any ramblings of mercy went up the spider’s head- he couldn’t hear anything anymore. With a kick to the snake’s stomach, he made him sink to his knees before he swiped the dagger along his cheekbone, producing a spurt of blood. The snake let out a choked whimper and the spider cocked his head, wondering which part of his body to ruin next– hey, y/n… I’m pretty sure it’s not that deep.”
“It’s fiction, Wooyoung,” you simply winked but Wooyoung wasn’t having any of it.
“Yunho, tell me, did you really cock your head and wonder which part of him you’d like to ruin next?”
Yunho only bothered shooting Wooyoung a dirty look in between arguing with San and Jongho about a recent case they had at their clinic- something about how to perform a specific type of stitch that would be seamless.
“What do you think, Yeosang?” Wooyoung elbowed the man next to him. “Don’t you think she’s overdoing some of it?”
“Well, what do you want me to write? ‘Yunho went and killed the politician who had been circulating drugs all around the province’. Plain and simple like that?”
“I think she writes gore to cope,” Yeosang commented. “I’ve been seeing a pattern and- wait, was I not supposed to point that out?”
You looked at Mingi for help who looked moments away from bursting into laughter. “You might want to switch your psychiatrist, y/n.”
“I think I’m good with you,” you grimaced at Yeosang who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “This one should stick to the kidney stuff instead of treating the mind.”
“You heard her,” Mingi clapped, finally bursting out laughing. “Stick to being a nephrologist.”
“I don’t even know how people can have you as their psychiatrist,” Yeosang narrowed his eyes at Mingi and you shook your head in amusement- this banter wasn’t new. “What do you tell them? This too shall pass?”
Wooyoung snorted at that while Mingi raised his finger at him, trying to come up with a retort but failing and sulk-walking to Yunho, resting his head against his shoulder. You smiled at how Yunho naturally adjusted to have both of them in a comfortable position while continuing arguing with the Chois.
It had been a couple of months since that fateful night. You were still trying to process most of what happened that night and the boys were always there to help you with that, going above and beyond. While at first you had been apprehensive of them- rightfully so- now they were almost like family to you. You found that all of them were extremely hardworking and ambitious, but also very gentle and kind. Or perhaps, you were receiving special treatment as Yunho often joked.
Yunho gave you all the time and space you needed to sort your thoughts out while continuing being there for you- you were amazed at how good he was with that balance. He never let you feel overwhelmed or alone. He answered all of your questions about him and he just knew when you wanted to talk about your own feelings. He would ask you what you were afraid to find the answers to and then help you navigate through the tangled web that your thoughts were. When he suggested you go to Mingi for ‘therapy sessions’, you asked him if he genuinely thought you needed therapy and if Mingi was really the right person to go considering his role in what they did.
“I mean… Mingi is sort of my therapist too,” Yunho admitted to your surprise. “One thing about him is that he understands. No matter how sick or twisted you think you may be, he understands and he guides you to your own solution to that. Surprisingly, he’s the one who helped me overcome my rage and trauma of my parents, not Hongjoong.”
That really got you thinking and when you went to your appointment with Mingi in his clinic, he asked you what role you would like him to play- a stranger and just a therapist, or who he really was. You preferred the latter and soon, you found yourself looking forward to going to those sessions. You could now talk about what happened with your father without feeling an immense sense of guilt because even though all this time you knew it was not your fault, you simply hadn’t made peace with that. Mingi also helped you realise that what they did- the ‘vigilante’ stuff- it wasn’t lawful. It might even be wrong and you needed to acknowledge and remember that.
And you did. So when Seonghwa and Hongjoong came to you with an odd proposition, you took your time thinking about it. You spent a few days away from everything, back in your hometown to visit your mother and brother and this time, you could actually talk back to them when they mocked you about going to your father’s grave when, according to them, you were his murderer. That time away helped you sort through the final knots in your mind.
And when Yunho came back home that day to the smell of a freshly cooked meal in his house, he had to take a moment for himself. He spread his arms as soon as he saw you and you crushed him in a hug, giggling like kids. You were back in his arms and that was all that mattered to him. You informing him that you agreed to Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s proposition was a bonus.
“She’s a crime-gore fiction writer, Wooyoung,” Hongjoong finally said. “You can’t expect anything less from her. Besides, the details make it look less believable, which means less people will suspect that what she writes is not wholly fictional.”
“Exactly,” you nodded. “Good one by the way, Yeosang.”
“Yeah, I was going to say that,” Hongjoong laughed. “I once went to Mingi too. He told me that exact line and that’s when I decided I didn’t really need therapy.”
“Ah, I didn’t know that,” Yeosang laughed. “No wonder he’s sulking so much.”
“He’ll be fine,” Seonghwa chuckled and you didn’t miss the adoration in his eyes as he glanced at Mingi. Seonghwa turned to you, closing your book and placing it on the table in front of him. “I think you did a great job. It’s a very engaging story and the facts are present for the wise ones if they can connect the dots. I quite like it, y/n.”
“Thank you,” you smiled. “I owe it to you both. You’re really good editors- it’s too bad you both refuse to take credit.”
“It would only raise suspicion,” Hongjoong dismissed. “You’re the writer. We’re only, uh… inspirations?”
“Inspirations,” Wooyoung repeated. “I know exactly who would be pleased to hear that. Our favourite detective.”
“I heard from a source that he spent two hours trying to convince his coworkers that what you were writing wasn’t fiction,” Hongjoong scoffed. “He’s been quite silent lately.”
“The excitement must have dulled now- it’s been weeks since this book has been out,” you said. “I think he might be starting to take pointers now. He texted me a few days ago asking which politician he should keep an eye out for next.”
“What did you say?” Yeosang asked.
“I told him the next book could be about a detective who refuses to leave a poor girl alone,” you grinned, the group bursting into a chorus of laughter. “He enjoyed that joke, actually. I think he’s warming up to me now.”
“He better not,” Yunho finally joined, putting his hands on your shoulders from behind you. “I don’t want him obsessing about what kitchen tools we use these days. Shall we go home now?”
You nodded, saying goodnight to the boys and exiting the warehouse with Yunho. A bike ride later in the chilly night, you were home and just like always, grinning as you entered- you still loved the bike rides.
“Oh, tomorrow’s Sunday,” you clapped, suddenly remembering. “We get to sleep in. What do you wanna do tonight? Movie?”
“Hmm, let’s see,” Yunho pretended to think, a grin creeping up on his face as he tackled you in a back hug and swung you around once, making your laugh echo in the house. “I think I’ll skip.”
“What’s got you so mushy tonight?” You asked- Yunho was swinging you both back and forth, his cheek resting against yours.
“Nothing,” he muttered. “I just still can’t get used to the fact that you’re real.”
You chuckled at that- you knew that Yunho absolutely loved the sight of you getting along with his friends, working with them, and actually supporting them. You insisted it was because the world really needed less criminals prowling around and while Yunho agreed, he also knew that part of the reason you agreed in the first place was because of him and he told you that he sometimes couldn’t believe that you could love him despite what he did.
You only told him once that a sick part of you definitely enjoyed killing those men if that meant you got to protect your loved ones. He remembered what you said- that everyone had something ugly like that in them- they just hadn’t been desperate enough to realise it yet. And thanks to you, Yunho was discovering a new side of himself- someone passionate and gentle and human. Sure, he had been that with his friends before, but with you, it was definitely different and new.
“Says the 6 foot tall handsome doctor slash biker slash vigilante. It can’t get hotter than that,” you teased.
“Bet you moved in because of that.”
“Maybe I did,” you teased. “Wasn’t it the best decision you made, agreeing to let me move in?”
Yunho thought about it for a few moments, humming to himself. “I could think of a few better decisions I’ve made-”
You smacked his arm, getting out of his grasp and muttering you were going to bed first and Yunho laughed loudly at your antics, following you as you walked towards the stairs and when you noticed him, you sped up, giggling when he started running after you. You barely made it to his room when he had you in his arms again and was peppering kisses all over your face.
“You didn’t let me finish,” he said. “The best decision I made was probably letting Detective Seo rattle you out while I stood outside and listened.”
You gasped loudly. “You did all of that just to have an excuse to kiss me, didn’t you?”
“Who knows?” Yunho shrugged teasingly. “Might not have gotten a better chance.”
“Come on, say it,” you started unbuttoning his shirt. “When exactly did you fall for me?”
“Let’s see…” he thought about it while you took off his shirt and ran your hands across his toned chest, tracing all his scars like you always did. “Could have been when you scolded me about the boots and the water trail and ordered me to use the bunny towel.”
“Sheesh, you’re that easy?”
“Yeah, I’m simple like that,” Yunho muttered before drawing in to capture your lips in a slow, sensual kiss. “It’s the little things you did that made me a mess way before you defended me with all your might.”
“That was the first time you laughed,” you smiled at the memory, turning him around so you could make him sit on his bed. You got in his lap and he squeezed your thighs in appreciation. “I think you had me right there too.”
Yunho shook his head at your confession and you grinned, pushing him to make him lie down. He loved it when you did that and took your time appreciating him, kissing all his scars and massaging his scalp as you drove him a little crazy, rolling your hips on his crotch suggestively once in a while. And he let you take your time because once he took charge, once he flipped you so you were under him and let his hands run all over your body as he kissed every inch of it, and once you were skin to skin-
That’s when you were done for.
#ateez fic recs#jeong yunho x reader#HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READ !!!#omg wasnt there a hanji serial killer au somewhere i need to find that#i think youve just awakened something within me op#also i might have to frolic down ur masterlist one of these days
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second week of school recap! aug 31 - sept 6 ↴
last weeks recap: aug 25 - aug 30
⟡⟡⟡
saturday 08/31:
⟡ went to my friends pool party for her birthday and it was so fun and it was good to see my friends after the first week of school!
sunday 09/01:
⟡ drove back to my dads house and just did some housekeeping things like laundry and attempting to write but ended up just binging SPN and i finally finished season 9 and now im on season 10!! gonna try and speed run the last 5 seasons because i need to be done with this god forsaken show
monday 09/02:
⟡ no school today! it was labor day so me and my sister went out and bought groceries for the week and then spent the rest of the day doing homework! i did write a little blurb for sammy but i have yet to post it.
tuesday 09/03:
⟡ woke up in the morning to see that my second class of the day got canceled so i had a 6 hour gap between my first class and last class of the day so i used the time just procrastinating on my homework for the next day loll
⟡ the day was long and i was so tired by the time i got to my car but im glad there was no traffic so i got home in like 20 minutes and after i got home, i immediately got ready for bed loll
wednesday 09/04:
⟡ my sister didn't have her in person class today so i was able to go home early today!! it was so good and im glad i didn't have to be at school longer than i had to loll
⟡ but i did do my homework late bc procrastination is my vice lmao
thursday 09/05:
⟡ oh god sleeping was a nightmare. it was so hot and my entire body was drenched in sweat to the point where i had to take off my shirt in the middle of the night. I probably woke up almost every hour bc it was so hot and i was adjusting and moving so much that around 3 am i gave up on trying to sleep in my room and went downstairs and slept on the couch with a fan pointed straight at me.
⟡ what had helped significantly to help me sleep was some allergy medication that made me sleepy but i did not wake up to my alarms but i was lucky and didn't wake up late for class.
⟡ but it's really hot today and all i want to do is stay in AC filled rooms and not walk around campus 😭
friday 09/06:
⟡ i slept downstairs on the couch again because it was unbearably hot in the house (the AC broke years ago and we would use a portable ac unit my dad bought he hasn't brought it out in a hot minute)
⟡ no school but i had to leave my dads earlier than usual to my moms this weekend because i had to pick out new frames since the new ones i got earlier this summer spontaneously broke on me.
⟡ my optometrist said my frames would be ready the day of or on monday and we were hoping that it would have been the same day because i wouldn't have to wait an extra week for them but alas they were not ready today
thank you for reading this recap even if i forgot to post it on friday bc i was rotting all weekend loll
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Live Star Reaction - Saw II
im eating popcorn (hooray) so I'm writing this one handed, I apologize for any typos
OH MY GOD !!!! I WAS GONNA SAY THE KEY WAS IN HIS EYE BUT I WASNT FAST ENOUGH
damn I guess I'd just die on this one, let's make a list at the end of this of which Saw Traps I could REALISTICALLY survive and which ones I'd give up on
Venus Fly Trap: absolutely dying, at least it'd be quick
awn man I hope our friend from the last movie survived (I don't remember his name, the journalist)
"i haven't heard from you" yeah I fucking wonder why
(hope he didn't get Saw Trapped)
Are rhey gonna have a weird forced romance? i hope not :/
WHAT ? DONT APOLOGIZE TO HIM !!! HE'S AN ASSHOLE !!!
THEY'RE JUST GONNA GET HIM ????? cute ceramics bowl by way
CREEEEPY DOLL SHIT !!! Aaaand now they're dead, sucks to suck i guess
"get on your knees" *is on a wheelchair* "I don't think so 😌"
"the problem in that room" oh his son got saw trapped daaaaaammnnn
is it all their families ???
"tell me where he is" YES OF COURSE, HE DID ALL OF THIS ONLY TO TELL YOU THE ANSWER RIGHT AWAY
hey guy ik you're spiraling but this 9 year bullshit isn't helping anybody
AMANDA ?????? DAAAAMMNN TWICE IN A ROW GIRLIE ?????
the FIRST thing she did when she woke up was check the back of her head, thats a fucked up attention to detail
did he tattoo the numbers on the back of their heads ? and do theu have to go in order of the rainbow? they're all swearing different colors
or maybe in order of the names (like the initials that match the colors)
hello door, what is this about?
IS IT OUR BUDDY FROM THE LAST MOVIE ????
or is this part of the game?
"while your coming up with a game plan, im getting out of here" if by here you mean the living plain then yeah, I'd have to agree
WHAT DID HE DO 5 YEARS AGO ????? OOOOHHHH GET HIS ASS BRO
"could you get me a glass of water" ... i didn't know you got water... in this creepy lil hideout
this is driving me insane: is that Penelope Cruz ? (i have actor face blindness so I have truly have No Idea if they're even similar)
that's a fun little scavenger hunt we're going on 😊
WHO IS THAT ????? oh ;-; ew ;-;
have they all had issues with the law ? cause those 3 have been arrested and the kid just got got at the beginning of the movie, besides all the investigation stuff Im sure she got in trouble for the drug abuse
"he kidnapped me in the middle of the night" YEAH YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SPECIAL BLONDIE, SHUT THE FUCK UP (ik she's dying but she's annoying also, im sure there's a fucked reason why she's here)
who would've thunk that going into a furnace would've been a bad idea
gotta be one of the top 3 worst ways to go honestly
KSKSKSKS John Kramer is a fucking yapper, love that
get your hand away from the teenage boy, Laura
"started in jail" I TOLD YOU !!!!!!
DID HIS FATHER ARREST EVERYONE HERE ????? that'd be crazy actually
THAT IS SO FUCKED KKSKSKSS "it'll be like finding a needle in a haystack haha" HE'S SO CUNTY ABOUT IT
MOTHERFUCKER !!! HE JUST CHUCKED HER IN HERE !!! OH I HOPE HE DIES NEXT
I say we kill this guy, i mean who's gonna check if one more person dies in this place
"no more talking" we haven't done ANY TALKING cause of your INSUFFERABLE ASS
"i know how this guy works, he's playing a game" oh what privileged information that he aLREADY GAVE US DIRECTLY, YOU USELESS FUCKING BITCH
"you may not remember them but they definitely remember you" DO I JUST HAVE A HUGE BRAIN ?????
HE DID TATTOO IT ON PEOPLE !!!! IM SO SMART !!! I'D SURVIVE THIS TRAP !!!!
is the big guy gonna go around killing folks to check the numbers, cause that's stupid
LEEEEEESSSS GOOOOOOOO !!! KICK HIS ASS BRO
oh please dont die ;-; awn man ;-; i hate this guy
"you two are on your own" no... You're on your own, they're together (for now at least)
he's not focusing on the colors, how is he gonna remember the right order
if detective lady was serious about stopping bad cop n1, she would've shot him
"I'll take you to the house" bby girl do you REALLY THINK he's taking you there
IS JOHN GONNA MAKE HIM CRASH THE CAR ???? He survived once, he could do it again (i really hope he does honestly)
IS A FAKE FLOOR ?????
IS THE BIG TWIST THAT AMANDA WAS HELPING KRAMER THIS WHOLE TIME ????? That'd be fucking lit actually
oh shit he did take him to the house, alright damn maybe force does work
... why is Penelope Cruz not screaming anymore?? THAT'S NOT THE HOUSE !!!! IT'S A FAKE ?????
OH HEY FIRST MOVIE BBY LES GO
awn he dead ;-;
KILL HIM WITH THE SAW !!!!!
"how are you gonna know your number if i dint tell you?" *doesn't fucking hesitate* THAT IS DERANGED !!!!! WOOOOOWWWW
IT WAS A FAAAAAAAAKEEEEEE !!!!!!! THAT'S CRAZY
IS IT A FAKE HOUSE OR RECORDED FEED ?????
IT'S RECORDED !!! OF FUCKING COURSE THAT'S WHY IT WAS SI DARK AND THE BODIES LOOKED LIKE THAT!! THATS WHY PENELOPE WASN'T FUCKING SCREAMING ANYMORE !!!!!
hey guys, ik it's the point but I can't see shit !!!
WHAT THE FUCK ???? (pig mask is so fucking creepy)
where they here the entire time ? THAT'S CRAZY !!!!!!
IS THE ENDING THE SETUP FOR THE THIRD MOVIE ????
WAS THIS A REVENGE PLOY FOR AMANDA ????? YEEEAAAAHHHHHH !!!!! LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOO
are you like so proud of me? except for parts I spewed insane garbage that had nothing to do with the plot : DD
is Kramer dead ??????
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thursday 9 may 2024 // 10:48pm
im really sad today
benjamin and i had a talk about what we are and we both ended up really upset by it. in short-
ben wasn't expecting the conversation to go how it did. he wanted a positive outcome and the idea that we were going somewhere
i basically said i'm not sure. and it is because of the anxieties i face in every day life.
right now, i have been looking for jobs in london, to move down there and start a new life. lately i haven't found anything good
gentle reminder while i write this - perhaps i need to start looking outside of the civil service
anyway. because i dont know whats happening with my future right now, whether i move to london or back home to birmingham, i just don't think committing to him is a good idea
how would it work if we go long distance? would i be able to see him?
if i moved (jobless) would i even be able to afford to see him?
if i move in whether home or massi's, how would i be able to see him regularly? i wouldn't be able to have him over lol. yes, i could occasionally stay with him. but i can't do that all the time, i need to treat (whoever's) house with respect
is it wise to move to a new city in a fresh relationship? i have never been keen on long distance
in some ways i am still exploring sexuality and what it means - do i want to be tied down to someone?
all these thoughts are just wracking my brain. i do think the main thing above it all though is the fact that there is an incredible uncertainty about how my future looks with anyone i date in conjunction with family
it just sucks that this is the reality for me and other LGBT kids. ben, thank god for it, has a generally normal and accepting family and has never had to deal with any family-related unaccepting drama of him being gay. and how i envy him for that massively. i wish i had that but i don't
i had to bring this up to him yesterday when we had our chat to explain how i feel. he cried because his feelings were hurt. i cried because i push this deep down but i had to bring it to the surface for his sake. i woke up to him crying in the middle of the night which broke my heart. he is generally so happy and goofy, i care about him so much and i hate that i have upset him
it is a tricky situation, we have never really had a proper chat about where we are going. we went exclusive and didn't date other people but that was about it. i guess we both should have had the foresight to bring this up earlier as it probably could have saved some hurt. but here we are!
i said this to his face but i just want him to be happy again. i feel like i've shot a puppy. its all so weird because really we only properly started dating since the end of feb, but it has been about 2 and a half months of us actually intentionally seeing each other regularly. it doesn't seem like a long time in hindsight but it has felt like a while, we have seen each other a lot! and have chatted quite a lot
have i led him on? maybe? was i aware i was doing it? not really. yes, i know he likes me a lot. i like him a lot. i actually love spending time with him. but i just didn't really know what was gonna happen when either he or i move away. he had the intention of making it work whereas i don't think i did. i wish i could have that intention, but my anxiety about life and everything else i mentioned above gets in the way of it. i was just enjoying it for what it is
i need to not be too hard on myself. in many ways i am obviously blessed. like i say before, even though the world has no hope right now, i have a roof over my head. i have a job. i earn an ok amount which at the moment allows me to live somewhat comfortably, even though i can't save money on it right now. however, i am evidently dealing with a lot of scared thoughts, anxiety, still about being LGBT and how my family and people around me would react. i have come so far in it already but i feel like moving home or to massi's or wherever is taking a step back in to the closet a bit. i won't have the freedom i truly need to live authentically as sadly, not all of my family would agree and be happy with it. i don't have it like ben does and others and it sucks greatly. i wish i could bring a guy home easily, as is the norm??
it sucks furthermore that whoever i date, they would be dragged in to this horrible mess. i don't ever want to impose this on someone else. however, it weaves it's way in into even the situationships. because, i still don't understand myself too. i still want these freedom's and to sleep around because i never felt like i could before. now that im owning my sexuality and dating around, would i want to do that even more in a new city? i wish i had a better upbringing where my parents spoke to me properly about these kinds of things. i know neither of them are perfect and we don't all have perfect lives. i don't resent them and i love them tremendously. but this is an area where they have failed and they don't even know it. but i don't even blame them for it. they are a different generation and they have had different upbringings to the way they raised me. and i know they love me. it really isn't their fault that this is sadly the way it is. it is just the world we live in, full of disagreement, miseducation, religious aspects etc. but i most definitely don't resent them. i just wish that in my formative years, it was better. soooo much of what i have learn't about myself, my sexuality, i've truly just had to do it alone. it just is the way it is!
re ben- i don't know what to do. ideally: i could keep seeing him and just enjoy him for who he is. but am i warped? most people don't do that as the norm. people enter relationships or they don't. it is categorically unfair to expect him to go along with it casually and just enjoy it for what it is too. his feelings are too deep i think.
i need to know where his head is at when we reconvene
do we just end it then? do we just keep it going until he or i move? i don't even know if i could do that either. i would miss him when he goes. so its like what is the point of us still seeing each other. but i still want to. i just love his company and i just like hanging out with him. he's so silly. he's so sweet to me. sooooo sweet. he's very innocently beautiful
i wish i met him at another time in my life, not this point where i don't know what the fooook is going on
i feel like i accept too many things as being ok when they are not. my head just feels so warped, dull, and non-functioning right now. i feel like i can't think and that my brain just doesn't understand itself. i feel like a CPU trying to run several processes at once and then nothing happens besides error messages popping up saying they can't compute the tasks. my brain struggles to compute things and i can't think properly sometimes
on top of this, i am just generally feeling a bit hopeless again about what my future holds. it is going to be hard. but i must remember, really, i do have a wealth of information at my fingertips right now. a bit of tough love, but i am currently using a powerful machine, the macbook pro m3 which i am privileged to have. i also have a phone. rather than bloody doom scrolling, i can start to learn and research and actually just try things and learn new things all through the power of the internet. i just have to put the work in to find some resources but all the information really is here and available to me. for almost anything really.
i can still make music too and enjoy this. i can still go on a run too and enjoy that. because i have the freedom to do so
i don't want to feel lonely. i will miss ben when he goes. i don't want to stop talking to him. but yk, if we did stop talking, life does go on and he won't be the only good person i meet in my life. relationships come and go. i hope he knows it too that he is so loved. i wish he wasn't insecure, he's sexy and an absolute catch
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recap of the past 2 days of my life (nothing super important; i just feel like writing a big diary-type post)
FRIDAY OCTOBER 13TH (spilling into saturday AM but i'm counting all of it as "friday night" even if it was after midnight. fight me)
had kind of a bad day at work. it was mostly okay but i was tired and didn't want to work and then got pulled into a teams call near the end of my shift and. ugh
took a nap after work
felt Bad after my nap. did not feel refreshed. felt kinda depressed honestly
spent the evening slowly getting ready to go out, wondering if i should just cancel my plans and stay home. almost cried a few times
finally got out of the house. just barely missed my bus. almost turned around and went right back home. almost cried, again
decided to stick it out and catch the next bus
made it to the Dance Party and had fun dancing all night even though i felt like a bit of a loser dancing by myself and not talking to anyone lol. music was too loud; i couldn't really strike up a conversation with anyone!!!! maybe i will find someone to go with me next time
party ended at 2am. there was supposedly a bus i could take home from a nearby bus stop around 2:20, so i headed out to the bus stop and waited. and waited. the bus did not show up. thankfully there was another bus scheduled half an hour later that did show up. but i sure did spend more than half an hour waiting out in the cold in the middle of the night. almost cried again for the 2394635th time
finally got home around 3:30ish i think?
got to bed around 4am
SATURDAY OCTOBER 14TH
woke up shortly before 5pm. oh god i slept almost 13 whole hours. guh
ate breakfast around 5:30pm
chatted with my sister to catch up on the whole day she had while i was asleep
did some laundry
had a lil movie night with sister; we watched Friday the 13th (1980) for the first time (neither of us had seen it before!) on this very appropriate day of Saturday the 14th. good movie!!! yet another one checked off the list of Iconic Horror Movies I Need To Watch
watched robbydude twitch stream. got to the stream late because i was busy watching movie. honestly was not expecting a robbydude stream tonight i kinda thought they'd spend more time cooking their arg stuff. anyway shoutout to robi. im glad i watched the "ultra despair boys" vods this year so i am Aware of a certain very obvious source of inspiration for robi. but i also feel personally attacked by this because how dare u make me think about d*nganr*npa and specifically one of my absolute favourite characters from that godforsaken series. anyway i love robi
so now u are caught up. on My Weekend
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stuff happened today? not much to talk about I feel.
I was late to picking up my friend carmen. I had to shower and I was late when I started showering lol. I like to stay in bed. actually i’m kind of lying about that, but since i’m saying this to a void that could look back whenever it wants to, i’m not going to say it. wonder how that could affect my future if I did talk about it? I assume my digital footprint is large… eh, you probably understand anyway?
anyway, stepdad, john, was a bit annoyed, and the whole guilt of being like 20 minutes late to picking up my best friend kinda made me step back and go, “oh, yeah I should actually do something about this.” and I will. I will actually try being on time for once. hm..
so, we picked up carmen, who, despite being 20 minutes late, hadn’t even started getting ready? it’s ok tho, she got ready in like 6 minutes. oh also, carmen had to leave around 4:30, she plays basketball and had to leave for her game! pretty cool stuff. in her opinion. I don’t really care about sports, and I told her that I would probably go watch her game, but I just.. don’t want to lol. I don’t really find it all that interesting. and also don’t want to go to a place where there’s.. people *shudder.*
alright, so, me and carmen went for a walk, and she wanted to get back at my house by 2:45. we both realized we walked a bit to far to be back that soon, and I was just going to, you know, normally turn around and walk the other way. but carmen, NOTICED A PART OF A FENCE THAT WAS KNOCKED OVER, AND STEPPED THROUGH IT. oh yeah also good to mention our walk had many little curves and turns and whatnot. so yeah, THEN SHE TELLS ME TO FOLLOW HER. this was so abysmal to me, and it felt like a movie. she was the brave one, taking the more dangerous path through a mini-forest with thorns everywhere, and I was the cowardly one, wanting to take the safer path, the path I trusted and the path I knew. so ermm.. what did I do? well my cheeks got red out of confusion and I followed her. ow, those thorns though. so yeah, we’re still going through this forest, and we see some non-foresty bits, cool, we head out there, us both nearly tripping and falling on the weird red thorn twig thing that came out of the ground, did a little loop and went back it. as we keep walking, we see that this field was massive! and there was a little patch of trees in the middle of it, which housed a nice shady place. there was also a house close to where we were standing. it was an odd yellow house, didn’t think much of it, but we kept our distance… carmen walks through the center trees and once I get there as well we notice an iron-chain fence around the perimeter. I think nothing much of it, and carmen suggests, to get home faster, we should hop the fence. i’ve never hopped a fence, and I don’t intend to. so what did I do?? I noticed the entrance, with the gate wide open- then I realized. oh shit, i’ve been here before. I ran over to the entrance of the of the gate and sure enough, right on the front. “NO TRESPASSING”. ah, ok, so carmen and me just trespassed over someone’s private property. i’m sure that’s fine 👍
me and carmen follow the road to go home, and obviously make it there successfully. then I kinda cuddled up on her while wahr went on her phone until her mom came to pick her up at 4:30 for her game. I wished her good luck and so did john. :)
that’s the most important thing that happened. pretty cool, looking back on it now. can’t believe we didn’t get caught trespassing.
god, i’ve said way to much stuff and I’m real fucking tired I almost fell asleep 4 times typing this.
good night.
ohhh my god I woke up and I guess I literally just fell asleep after writing good night I didn’t even post it augh im still tired. but now i’m posting it.
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