#— love notes ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dixonsbrat · 18 days ago

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𖥔 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎, 𝐈’𝐌 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𖥔

summary ; daryl relives the tough choices that were made when he decided to leave the commonwealth.

notes ; established relationship, takes place both in france and at the commonwealth. just a whole lotta angst honestly. 4k words - this is the longest fic i’ve written in literally forever so enjoy ᡣ𐭩

do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.

"have you ever been in love?" sylvie’s question takes daryl by surprise, his attention momentarily pulled away from the road ahead of them as he turns to look at her in the passenger seat. her french accent is thick, though her words and facial expression are soft - like her.

there’s a noticeable shift in his demeanour, his heart panging in his chest as his thoughts drift toward you back home, back at the commonwealth, where an ocean now stood between you and him. there’s a sad look in his eyes, a mixture of pain and guilt and it’s clear that something deeply rooted within him had happened between the two of you.

“why do you look so sad?” sylvie observes him gently. she can sense the weight of his thoughts, the memories he’s carrying. she wants to press him on it, to further dissect the man that had fallen into their lives, but decides to wait for him to speak instead.

daryl doesn’t answer immediately, his gaze fixated on the open stretch of road ahead as his hands tightly grip the wheel. sylvie’s question was simple, straightforward, but for him, it was anything but. the weight of his thoughts bear down on his chest, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions he had spent months trying to bury deep down.

“s’complicated.” his voice is low and gravelly when he does finally answer, though laced with hurt as he clenches his jaw tightly.

“complicated?” sylvie repeats, her voice gentle, yet betraying her curiosity. she’s not pushing, she just wants to understand - understand why that was the word he had chosen to describe whatever it was that was clearly plaguing him.

“mhm…” he grumbles, a slight nod of his head as he refocuses on the road once more.

sylvie senses the deep hurt and longing that lies beneath his stoic exterior, “because you… still love them?”

“... sometimes love ain’t enough.” his voice is harsher than he intends, but he leaves it all the same. he could still hear whispers of your laughter ringing in his ears, and how sweet you sounded when saying his name. if he could turn back time and stop himself from ever leaving the commonwealth - from ever leaving you - he would.

his mind flashes back to the last night he had spent with you, the feeling of you in his arms, soft and close. how you looked at him with those warm eyes full of adoration, full of care, the way no one else had ever looked at him before and he wished he could have held onto that moment a little bit longer, a little bit tighter.

you’re sitting on the floor of your room, laughing, your legs stretched out alongside daryl’s as you both lean against your bed. the night had settled over the commonwealth and though exhaustion tugged at both of your minds, you didn’t want to retire for the night just yet, not when you knew it was your last night together.

“i’m still pissed at you,” you say, though there’s no real anger in your tone, just lighthearted playfulness as your eyes gleam in the soft light of the room. you had a habit of looking at him as if he were the only person in the world - which to you, he was.

he nods, huffing out a quiet laugh, “i know. i know ya are.”

his eyes fall to your body, admiring softly, the way your shirt hangs a little off your left shoulder, showing a hint of your collarbone, and his fingers slowly reach to trail down the exposed skin. you notice the way his eyes roam your body, and for a moment, the mood of playful banter shifts into something warmer, something heavier. the air feels a little more charged between you both, the feeling of wanting, not knowing when you’ll get the chance to hold and touch one another like this again.

daryl tries to ignore the way his stomach twists at the memory, the way his mind drifts back to the last time he had touched you. he knows he shouldn’t but the memories are too vivid, he can practically hear your soft gasps in his ear, hear the way you say his name, all breathy and full of love. he can’t help but let himself get carried away in the distant memories of you and the love you shared together.

you bite your lower lip a little, drawing his eyes towards your mouth, and he feels a pang in his chest at the action. you see the way his jaw tenses, how he looks at you with his steely blue eyes, and know he’s fighting against his thoughts, trying to suppress the desire that was clearly building inside of him.

you feel that familiar twist of desire in your own stomach, that familiar need for him building with every passing second. you shift towards him slightly, your leg brushing against his, “...what am i going to do without you?”

he’s struggling, holding back, but he can’t resist the way you move towards him, the way your thigh brushes against his. he brings a calloused hand up to cup your face, thumb tracing over the skin of your cheek. his eyes flicker to your lips again, his heart beating faster, the pull towards you becoming stronger. the desire to hold you, to keep you close, to never let you go, is overwhelming.

he swallows thickly, “yer gonna be fine. always are.”

there’s a pause as you shake your head, taking in a deep breath as tears dare to prick at your eyes, “not this time.”

the feeling of helplessness washes over him as he sees the emotions play across your face. his hand moved to your jaw, cupping it gently before tipping it slightly so you’re looking directly at him. your eyes are watery, pained, and it kills him to see it, to know he’s the cause of it. his thumb brushed over your cheek, wiping away a lone tear that had slipped down it.

“don’t cry,” he tries to reassure you, voice gruff and low, but somewhat softer for him.

“how can i not when you’re leaving me…” you exhale, eyes almost fully glazed over as your mind spirals with the dread of what comes in the morning.

he doesn’t know how to make you feel better, how to soothe away that fear that’s plaguing you. daryl has always had a tendency for keeping people at arms-length, to not let them get too close in case they leave, in case they get hurt. but with you it’s always been different. you’re different. you’ve seen deeper into him than anyone else ever has and despite that, you stayed.

you chose him.

your eyes flitter across his features, as though to be committing every small detail to memory. every crease, every freckle or mole, even the grey hairs that were poking through the scruff on his chin, you wanted to remember it all as though it was the last time you’d ever see him.

he can tell you’re scared, unsure, trying to memorise him, like you believe that this might be the last time you see him. he can feel the shakiness of your body, the warm tears that fall from your eyes, your soft forehead pressed against his. there was nothing more that he wanted than to be able to tell you where he was going and how long he was going to be gone, but most importantly that he would be back.

you move your hands up to rest around his neck, pulling him as close as humanly possible, your lips only grazing his before you eventually close the space between you. it’s soft and gentle, the way your lips move together, your tongues lightly dancing, but the need for one another quickly takes over. transpiring into a longing of want and need to be even closer. his hands grip your hips, holding onto you tightly like he’d never let you go.

“i love you,” you breathe the words as you try to regain your breath but all daryl can see is the mixture of love and sadness in your eyes.

it wasn’t the first time you had said it to him, or the second or third, you made sure to say it to him as much as he would allow you to, but no matter what, it always felt like the first time. he buried his head in the crook of your neck, lips grazing over the sensitive skin there as he breathes you in. he can feel the way your body trembles, the way you cling to him, afraid to let him go.

“i love you too,” he mumbles against your skin, the words barely audible, like a secret you both already knew but didn’t want to admit aloud.

“who was it not enough for — you or them?” sylvie’s question rips him from his thoughts, hitting him deep in the chest once again.

daryl exhales heavily, his fingers tensing around the steering wheel once more. “i don’t… me,” he answers honestly, his voice almost a whisper. the words hang in the air, heavy and loaded with the weight of his decision.

sylvie sees the turmoil and decides to change the topic slightly, deciding to approach the matter from a different angle, “will you tell me about them?” her voice is low and soothing, drawing him slowly out of his dark thoughts.

he wants to scream ‘no’, to shut it down immediately, knowing that the act of talking about you, even though it would be painful, felt like the only way to keep you close. he wasn’t one for sharing, for letting others inside his mind, but the idea of telling someone about you, not knowing if he’d get another opportunity to do so… it hurt more than the idea of reliving the memories he had shared with you and the impact you had made in his life.

he’s quiet for a moment, swallowing the growing lump in his throat before he opens his mouth, “she was… she was beautiful. caring. strong. stubborn, real stubborn.”

he lets out a soft chuckle at the thought of the numerous times you’d made his life a living hell over the years, yet he’d secretly loved the way you’d never take his bullshit and would always put him in his place. sylvie can’t help but admire the way he lights up as he speaks about you, the tension in his shoulders and jaw easing at her gentle prodding.

“she had this… way about her, ya know?” his voice is still gruff as he speaks, yet there’s a softness to his tone now, an undeniable fondness. “she could hit a target in the bullseye without battin’ an eye but then trip up on her own feet a few seconds later.” he continues, a hint of awe in his voice now as he describes you, like he’s talking about some mythical being. he finds himself once again getting lost in his thought of you, the corner of his mouth lifting in a sad smile.

“she knew how to make me feel…safe. usually it was my job to make others feel that way, to be the protector, but not her, she always wanted to take care of me. like she’s got this hold on me that i can’t shake, and i don’t… i don’t know if i ever will…”

“you still love her… that’s why.” sylvie points out after seeing the way he had spoken about you. it was the first time he had indulged anyone in a conversation about himself, about his life before france, about you. you were clearly important to him, otherwise he wouldn’t have let himself get so caught away in talking about you, and he can’t help but feel surprised at himself for doing so.

“ain’t that simple,” he responds, the sharpness returning to his voice as his walls go up once more because he knows that he can’t deny the truth. he did still love you, of course he did, that was never in question. but he also can’t ignore the complex factors that had torn the two of you apart, or that it was entirely his fault.

sylvie pauses for a moment, before saying, “perhaps, but perhaps it also shouldn’t have to be so hard.”

daryl lets out a bitter scoff, his jaw clenching tighter and he turns his attention back to the road ahead. he doesn’t respond to her this time, his mind preoccupied with the tangled mess of his emotions. he knows that things should be simple. hell, they had been simple at one point. but life wasn’t a fairytale, especially in the world you now lived in and it was his job to keep you safe, whether you liked it or not.

you watch as daryl pulls his backpack tighter around his shoulders and continues walking as if you hadn’t said a word, as if you hadn’t just told him you wanted to go with him, wherever it was that he may end up. “i said i want to come with you,” you repeat louder now, your words echoing back to you as your heart thrums so loudly in your chest that you were sure it was going to explode.

daryl stills at your voice now, his shoulders tensing at your words. he had heard you the first time but hoped that you would drop it after seeing him continue on his way, but, of course, things could never be that simple. he can practically feel the desperation in your voice, the pleading tone making his heart ache, but he stubbornly resists the urge to turn around and look at you.

“...no.” he responds without any hesitation, any trepidation, his voice firm as he allows no room for you to argue.

“no?” your voice is a soft murmur as you move to stand in front of him. your gaze full of confusion and hurt, your heart still racing in your chest. “what do you mean ‘no’?”

his blue eyes finally meet yours, the usual warm depth within them now cold and guarded. he stands there, jaw clenched, looking down at you with a mixture of stoicism and stubbornness as he fights off the urge to reach out and smooth away the hurt he sees in your eyes.

“i mean ‘no’,” he repeats, his mind set. “ya ain’t comin’ with me.”

your heart sinks for the second time, the pain and confusion swirling inside you like a storm. you swallow hard, your eyes stinging with the onset of tears once more. “that’s it? just ‘no’? you’re not even going to consider it?”

“there ain’t nothin’ to consider,” his jaw clenched once more and he sighs heavily, as if the question pained him just as much as it did you. he brushes a hand through his hair, tucking it behind his ear as he bites down on his lower lip. “i can’t have ya gettin’ hurt.” his voice is quieter this time.

you stand there frozen as you watch daryl continue on to where his motorcycle was parked by the front gates, unable to comprehend the way in which he was acting. as if you hadn’t just spent the entire night making yourself sick over whether or not you wanted to go with him or stay behind at the commonwealth, all while he was sound asleep beside you.

daryl’s heart is heavy as he walks away from you, every step feeling like he was dragging anvils behind him, but he forces himself to remain stern, to stay strong in his decision. he was doing this for you. he had to.

you follow behind him, watching as he swings himself onto the bike and settles into the leather seat, “i know how to handle myself, daryl – you of all people know that.”

“that ain’t the point,” he snaps back.

“then what is the point?” you throw your arms up and let them fall back to your sides, your emotions beginning to get the better of you once again, but daryl wasn’t having any of it. “daryl, please… i want to come with you,” your voice cracks and you take a deep breath in trying to keep yourself in check but only failing.

the sound of your voice cracking breaks him, the pain in your words physically stabbing at his heart. but he couldn’t back down now, not after already making up his mind. he’d never be able to live with himself if something were to happen to you and all because he agreed to let you go with him. he had already almost lost you a handful of times, he didn’t know how much luck he had left and he sure as hell wasn’t ready to find out.

he looks away from you, avoiding your eyes and shakes his head, “no.”

you reach forward to place your hands on top of his as they lay on the handlebars of the motorcycle, “i can’t… i can’t be away from you. not again. not even if that means giving up our home and everything else we were building here. i want to be with you… please.” you take in a shaky breath as silent tears begin to roll down your cheeks.

daryl’s hands clench beneath yours, the gesture betraying his internal struggle. he can feel the weight of your words, the weight of your pain and your love for him. his heart aches, conflicting with the resolute part of him that was telling him to just start the motorcycle and ride off before he eventually gave in.

he lets out a heavy sigh, his expression conflicted and pained as he finally turns to look back up at you. seeing the tears streaming down your face breaks something in him.

“i’m… i’m doin’ this for your own good,” he says, the words sounding hollow even to his ears.

you shake your head, clamping your teeth down on your bottom lip in an attempt to stop the sobs that were clawing their way up your throat, but there’s no use, “that’s bullshit.”

he flinches at your words, his defences crumbling under the weight of your accusation. he knows you know him too well, that you can see through his excuses and facades. he takes in your tear-stricken face, the sight like a dagger to his heart. he can see the desperation in your eyes, and it’s tearing him apart.

his own eyes start to sting, his nose burning with the beginnings of tears. he opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. no words could explain how he was feeling in that moment, the conflicting thoughts and emotions raging within his mind and his heart.

he can’t take it anymore, the sight of you crying, the weight of his own guilt, the pain of his decision. he lets go of the handlebars, his hands coming up to cup your face, his fingers wiping away the tears rolling down your cheeks. he looks deep into your eyes, torn between loving you and trying to protect you.

he presses a kiss to your forehead. it’s soft and gentle, full of worry, but painful. he just wanted to do the right thing by you. he didn’t want you out there with him, he needed you here. he needed you safe. you would be safe with the others, and he knew carol would look after you.

he holds the kiss against your forehead a moment longer, his eyes squeezed shut as he tries to memorise the feel of your skin against his lips. when he pulls away, his eyes slowly open, looking at you with a thousand words left unsaid. he wants so desperately to just hold you, to keep you safe in his arms forever. but he can’t.

“so that’s it then?” you ask, your voice so small through your tears.

“m’sorry…” is all he manages, the words tasting like poison, but his mind and heart refuse to budge. “i just… i have to do this alone.”

“you really expect me to just go about my days knowing that you’re out there all alone? constantly worrying if you’re okay, or if you’re even alive?” your throat was burning with emotion, your eyes stinging as you try to maintain it. the thought alone of something happening to daryl was making you feel sick.

each of your words feels like a knife to his heart and he feels like a fool for being the one to cause you this much pain. he wants to tell you that he’ll be fine, that he’s strong and can keep himself safe… but the truth of the matter was, he had no idea what was going to happen the second he stepped outside the gates of the commonwealth, or if he would be okay. he was all too well aware of the fact that the thought of leaving you behind was as terrifying to him as it was to you.

“i’ll be fine,” he says anyway, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your cheeks. he wanted to give you some sort of reassurance, no matter how small or how little he actually believed it. he just needed you to understand that this was something he needed to do and that he knew how to look after himself well enough, but you see right through him.

“we both know you can’t promise that,” you whisper as you pull out of his touch. “not really.”

daryl can feel the distance between the two of you growing already with each second that passes, his heart aching and his head pounding all at once. your words only add to the guilt and the pain that he’s already feeling, knowing that he can’t give you the real reassurance you need. he swallows hard, trying to keep his own emotions in check.

deep down he knows he can’t promise something, that at that moment, he wasn’t even sure of himself. he could see the questions, the realisation, the hurt swirling in your eyes as you stared up at him, silently pleading for him to contradict you, to tell you that it wasn’t true.

“i can try,” is all he can muster and your heart feels like it’s going to collapse in on itself. you knew daryl better than anyone, better than he knew himself, and you knew he was being sincere, but that didn’t stop the doubts and insecurities you had about him leaving. nothing would ever make you feel better about it.

“please…” he suddenly grabs your hands again, holding them tight in his own, not wanting to lose the feeling of your touch, of your skin against his. he could already feel it slipping away – feel you slipping away – and the distance growing further between the two of you. “please… just… trust me,” he practically pleads, his voice soft and his gaze filled with helplessness.

you look down at your hands wrapped in daryl’s, the touch feeling so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. it just serves as a painful reminder that he really was leaving. your own features are shaky as all you can do is accept his words with a nod, another tear rolling down your cheek as you press your forehead to his.

his eyes flutter shut as you rest your head against his, each tear that you shed causing the ache in his chest to grow even more. he can feel the resignation in your gestures, the way you submit to his decision, even if deep down you didn’t agree with it.

he savoured the feelings of you against him, eyes closed, his hands holding onto yours as if he were clutching on to the last shred of you that he had. he wanted to keep you here, in this bubble, forever if he could. and in that moment, he swears to himself that no matter how long he’s gone for, or how far away he ends up, he was going to come back for you, no matter how hard or how much time it took.

and he was going to keep that promise.

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paperdice · 5 months ago

Note

Hii! I saw you write for saiki k, so i was wondering if i could please request Kusuo x foreign reader hcs? Reader is a transfer student from somewhere outside of Japan (maybe australia because i’m australian, but anywhere is fine if you can’t do that 💕), and she (or they, up to you) ends up in saiki’s friend group and they get feelings for each other. If you end up deciding to do this, tysm!! xx

𝐊𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬)

"Is it sad that my heart's beating frantically? you give me that look and I'm over the edge."

small note, reader will be Australian for the hcs but it won't be heavily influencing in all the hcs

When you first joined the new school, it was naturally nerve-wracking for you. New country, new culture new everything, it was one scary ride that only made you hope for the best.

Thankfully, you wouldn't be alone much longer, not with the new friends you've made. In fact, one of them had been tugging at your heartstrings for awhile now, and the melody felt right for both of you.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ Kusuo knew your intentions and how you were rightfully afraid during your first day. He knew how you truly feel, just as he does for everyone else in his life. Your thoughts and feelings were another book for him to read clearly, so why was it he was slowly growing an interest in you?

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ He's got a sharp mind, he knows himself better than anyone else, or so he thought. He always knew that he wasn't interested in romance and thought he would never feel it due to his psychic abilities. His romance radar seemed to be a little 'nonfunctional' but he didn't care.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ After awhile of getting to know you, he realized he was feeling off when around you. A feeling he didn't recognize was growing within him, and he quickly realized it. In the deepest farthest back of his mind, Saiki understood it had to be a romantic feeling.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ He was stung by the idea, though the more time flew the more he was okay with it being towards you. The hidden love you had for him was no secret that you could possibly hide from Kusuo, he observed the gradual blossoming of your feelings for him firsthand.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ When you first arrived, people were curious about your life in Australia and shared their thoughts and comments during your conversations. Although Saiki didn't say anything to you, internally, he was interested in the life you lived before moving.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ He knew you snuck in a lie or two about encountering a snake that tried to eat you, or how you threw in scares with exaggerations about the snakes and spiders. Or how overly dramatic you made yourself when addressing the pure hatred felt towards the city of Melbourne, Saiki never knew there was a city in Australia that was heavily frowned upon. And from what he heard in your thoughts, you didn't know why either, not from personal experience that is.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ Trying to evoke reactions without ill intent, you seemed friendly. Over time, quirks like these grew endearing to Kusuo. He saw right through your choices more and more, only to find more things about you he liked. So, how is he now that he knows he likes you and you like him?

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ He definitely looks out for you. Naturally, he knows better than to be a stalker constantly following you around. His abilities underline that idea as useless; though it's not like he'd ever do it. That's why he checks up on what nuisance is bothering you or what future nuisance will be. People do have a habit of barging in on you. You'll never say how tiring it is, so Kusuo does you favors.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ He enjoys your new-found company in the friend group, whenever you come around he subconsciously moves more in your direction. You don't like bothering him too much so he doesn't have to worry about you being a problem, he knows you don't wanna make some foolish mistake in front of your crush. Though you don't have to worry, your flaws to him are meaningless.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ Sadly Kusuo doesn't get butterflies around you, but being near you disrupts his control over his powers and makes it hard for him to maintain while solving unthinkable problems. This can be frustrating, but he's never been mad at you about it, he can't control his heart after all.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ Ever since he developed a crush on you, he has been smiling without even realizing it. It's just a small, soft smile that creeps onto his face when he sees you enjoying yourself with others. Luckily, he manages to catch himself before anyone else notices.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ Saiki can't help but be a little jealous if guys are flirting too much with you, he knows you won't accept them however for some reason his mind can't help but feel envy.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ He finds your opinions and morals interesting, internally giving dialogue on breaking down your thoughts and why you might think that way. An unspoken way of his is that he shows he cares about how you think by breaking it down like some analysis.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ If you have any hobbies or interests, he'll take some time out of the weekend to take a look at what's got you all hooked. Music tastes, collections, shows, podcasts literally anything you're into he'll give it a try. The appeal might rub off him, you do have good taste in things, to Saiki that is.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ His crush on you was a secret for a long time, and was almost accidentally figured out by Nendo. That mindless Nendo somehow connected the dots out of nowhere, maybe he saw how Kusuo looked at you, or maybe how close he gets naturally. Whatever the case, Kusuo freaked as Nendo was calling your name. But when you turned, it was just Saiki standing there, you felt crazy..

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ Kusuo has only ever thought of you two being in a relationship as a maybe thought, which says a lot. But he decided that if he truly does want more in the future, he will make a move, a slight one at least. Just for you.

Saiki is such a cutie pie, maybe ill write dating hcs at a later date. Thanks for the request, feel free to return to ask another!

#saiki k x reader #saiki x reader #kusuo saiki x reader #fluff #headcanons

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babbymochiiii · 2 months ago

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⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ 𝑃𝐿𝐸𝐴𝑆𝐸 𝐿𝐸𝑇 𝑀𝐸 𝐻𝐸𝐿𝑃 𝑌𝑂𝑈: 𝐻𝑈𝐴𝑁𝐺 𝑅𝐸𝑁𝐽𝑈𝑁

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ cyborg! renjun x afab creator! reader; please let me help you...it's what i'm meant for.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ warnings: 18+ MDNI, nipple play, self fingering, whimpery and beg-ish renjun, fast learner renjun, making out, slight oral (f), pent up frustration being taken out on reader, p in v, creampie, not proof read, etc...if i missed anything let me know pls ;P

⊹ ࣪ ˖ author's note: INSPIRED BY THE SONG THE MACHINE BY REED WONDERS & AURORA OLIVAS ( listen to it if you haven't, such a good song! ) thank you so much for 300+ follows! it means so much to see you guys wanting to keep up with my writing 🥹 as a little thank you, here is this fic for you!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ word count: 3.8k

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ m.list for more fics!

You were stressed.

Beyond stressed at that.

You looked towards the papers in front of you with frowned eyebrows as you mentally cursed at them for making you so stressed out. you let out a deep sigh as you ran your hands through your hair before resting your head at the crook of your arm.

Renjun assessed you from the corner of your room as he scanned through his system trying to figure out the exact solution for him to help you. He softly called out your name, to which earned a soft hum of a response from you.

“Do you wish for me to help you in anyway?” he asks as he looks at you with the softest expression you have ever seen him give you.

Great. You thought. I’m being pitied by my own creation. This causes another sigh to escape your lips before you turned your head to the side to fully look towards him. “I’m okay Renjun. Just —” another sigh. “— just having a hard time trying to figure out this equation here and nothing is working.”

Renjun frowned towards you as he knew there was something more than this and he could not pinpoint the exact reason as to why this made his chest hurt. “But —”

“Really I'm okay, Renjun.” you said as you tried to give him the best convincing smile you could muster.

Not fully convinced at this point, Renjun lets it go as he knew it would cause an issue with you and he did not want to see you even more stressed than you already were.

Renjun knew why he was created by you. At least he understood why you did. You were lonely, and just wanted someone that could love you and fully understand you as the way you were without changing who you were for anyone. But he could not understand why you never used him like he was supposed to be used for. It broke his heart, well his metaphorical heart, to know that you were hesitant to do more with him as he wanted to do so much with you. He just did not want to push you.

You always rested with Renjun by your side in bed, it was your way of making sure you got your full rest. But for some reason, tonight you were having a challenging time getting that said rest. You kept tossing and turning trying to find the most comfortable spot on your bed. A sigh escapes through your lips, and you lay your hand on your forehead as frustration crawling through your entire body.

A thought crossed your mind that made your body flush at the thought. You turned your head to the side and were met with Renjun’s figure sleeping soundly next to you. Blessing your past self in the moment for creating the program in which he would require a certain amount of sleep to properly function. Not wanting to waste the open window you had, knowing that in an hour or two, Renjun would wake up soon as his sleep cycle would be ending.

You started to mess with your nipples through your shirt. As you continued to tease and roll them with your thumb and pointer finger, you gently removed one hand from a nipple and used to trace down your sternum and down to your navel, creating a ticklish sensation that causes you to sigh in content. You finally reached the band of your underwear; you slowly pushed your hand underneath the waistband.

You bring your fingertips down towards your folds. Completely passing your clit wanting to further tease yourself and moved towards your entrance where you knew you could gather enough slick to mess with your clit. Once you felt that you had gathered enough slick on your fingertips, you moved it towards your swollen hood and gently applied pressure on it. A shudder of a moan escapes your lips at the pressure you were creating as this was exactly what was going to help you sleep for the rest of the night.

Slowly, you started to apply more pressure as you started to move your fingertips in the way you liked it so on your swollen clit. Small moans escape your lips as the sensations you were creating were descending on your legs. As you started to pick up the pace, a loud moan slipped through your mouth which caused you to cover your mouth with your free hand and quickly cast a glance towards Renjun.

Biting your lower lip, you remove your hand from covering your mouth and bring it down towards your wet folds. You started to feel around your slicked entrance, collecting as many fluids as possible around your fingers before you slowly slipped one into your entrance.

As you started to pump your finger inside of you, one finger became two fingers inside of you as you continued to chase after your height. The slow starting out pace you had quickly turned into a faster paced on as you started to follow the pace you had on your clit.

So, entrapment in your blissful world of pleasure, you failed to notice how Renjun stirred a bit before waking up fully.

Renjun felt himself blink his eyes slowly, adjusting them a bit in the dark room. His senses slowly came to him and the first thing that did was his hearing.

He could hear the way you let out muffled moans through your mouth, the squelching sounds that came out from your entrance as you fucked yourself with your fingers.

Could this finally be it? Renjun wondered. Can this finally be the time she uses me as she intended me for?

Renjun tried his best not to make his presence known now as he was not sure how you would react to him waking up and just listening in on you trying to pleasure yourself.

So, naturally he waited.

Minutes continued to pass and Renjun continued to lay idle as he heard you pleasure yourself. He felt completely perverted knowing that he had not made his presence known to you, but he did not want you to stop because...it felt like he was the one helping you reach your peak.

You were about to reach your height when you heard the smallest sound of a whimper. Too into pleasure you just thought it was yourself, so you just continued chasing the feeling within you. Just as you felt the feeling tighten within your core, you heard the faintest whisper of your name.

You turned your head to the side to see a completely flustered Renjun looking at you with such doe like eyes and a deep flush on your face.

“y/n...” he whimpered your name again in such a breathless way that it completely took you over the edge.

Unexpectedly, you felt your core tighten completely and release in such an intense manner that it made you see stars briefly. You knew you were close to an orgasm but, seeing Renjun’s expression and the way he cried out your name was enough to set you over the edge.

Trying your best to catch your breath, you turned your gaze to Renjun.

“How long —” you cut yourself off as you felt your skin flush at the thought of how long he could’ve been watching you. “— how long have you been watching me?” you question as you placed your hands on your chest.

Renjun felt his ears heat up as he avoided your gaze for a moment as he didn’t know how to put into words the feelings he felt while watching you. “N-not that long.” He said gently and watched with a calculated stare for your reaction.

You turned to face forward to stare at the ceiling as you tried to understand the situation fully and to put all your thoughts together. You knew that Renjun would wake up at any moment the moment you started to pleasure yourself but to be fair you didn’t think it would take you that long to finish.

All it took was to look at him and hear him say your name. That one voice spoke in the back of your mind, though as much as you wanted to be annoyed with it, you knew it was right. It was right in the way that you were scared to even admit to yourself for a while now. You knew the reason why you built Renjun, and the sole reason as to why you created him the way you did. It was to help you get through the loneliness you had but to also help you with any pent up stress that you had. And yet...you never used him in such way as you started to see him as a human being.

Renjun did have a program where he could understand and fully act like a human being himself, but you still held back just because you weren’t sure you were the one that was ready to take it there with him.

So caught up in your own thoughts, you almost missed the way Renjun moved closer to your side and placed a tender hand on your face and gently turning your face to where you can face him.

“Please —” his voice breaks. “— please let me help you.” he begged you as his eyes started to water a bit.

You were completely stunned at his reaction. You didn’t know what to say or what exactly to make of this situation but, your body had a different thing to say in the matter. Before you could even fully process what was happening, you leaned into the little bit of space that was left between the two of you. You placed a tender kiss onto Renjun’s lips to which he recuperated back. The two of you slowly explored one another's mouths, trying to figure out the pace the other wanted to place.

Completely enamored with the taste, Renjun couldn’t help but place his hands into your hair, slightly pulling on the strands collecting the moan that rushed out of your parted lips and pulling you much closer to him. Going off of instinct alone, Renjun pulls himself up from the bed and pushes your legs open with his knee creating a space for his body.

The moment his knee made contact with your quivering nerves, you let out a whimper into the kiss as you involuntarily rocked your hips on his knee trying to chase for that delicious sensation that was overstimulation.

Renjun pulled away from your lips and started to place tender kisses along the column of your neck along with small bite marks in between each kiss that only elicited the prettiest moan he has heard leave your mouth this whole night so far.

I wonder what she would sound like when I kissed between her legs... Renjun couldn’t help but wonder to himself as he started to leave open mouth kisses down your navel and on each side of your hips. The moment his lips reached your lushest thighs, he couldn’t help himself but teasingly bite them as his hands slowly made their way down. When his hands reach your thighs, he grabs a handful of the fat of the thigh that causes a whimper to escape your lips as you prompt your elbows up to take a look at him from your hooded eye lids.

“W-what are you doing?” you asked out of breath as you felt your heart hammer even harder in its place in your chest.

“I wanna taste you...” Renjun muttered as he placed a small kiss on your clothed clit.

Before you could say anything to Renjun, he pulled your panties to the side and kitten licked your sensitive nub. Not being enough for him, he licks a strip from your entrance up to your clit with the fat of his tongue.

The sensation of Renjun just licking up and between your folds was enough to send your toes curling and your eyes to turn to the back of your skull. He continued licking and sucking your folds as his goal was to suck out as much of those delicious moans out of you as he can.

Remembering the movements you did on yourself you reach your own high earlier, Renjun softly placed the pad of his fingers on your entrance as he only wanted to gather up as much slick and spit as he could before he pressed his slicked-covered fingers onto your clit.

This draws out a high pitched moan from you as he started to create tight, small circles on your clit. At this point you were a panting mess as you wondered how he knew your body so well.

“H-how —” you cut yourself off as you felt his tongue start to gather up as much of your sweetened slick as he could on his tongue.

“I’m just applying the things I've seen you do on yourself.” Renjun answered between licks as he couldn’t get enough of your taste.

As he continued, you felt your stomach tighten as he started to flick your clit. “P-please not like this —” you cried out as you arched your back off of the bed.

Renjun stopped all motions and looked at you for a moment. “Do you want me inside of you?” He gently asks as he starts to sit on his knees, waiting for your answer.

You nodded your head as you hurriedly answered him. “Yes! Y-yes please I want to finish on your cock.” you said as you looked at him with such a deep and pretty flush on your face, only making him lose his composure even more.

Without answering you, Renjun rushes to lean into you for another heated kiss as you opened your legs wide for him to be able to insert himself between your legs. As the two of you fought for the little bit of dominance in the kiss, you started to push down at the sweats that laid on his hips with your feet as you felt yourself growing desperate for not having him inside of you. The same was being done with you, Renjun took hold of your panties into his hands and just ripped them in half as he didn’t want to wait any longer as well.

Once you were both successfully naked on your bottom halves, you both pulled away from the kiss and looked down towards where Renjun’s cock was resting painfully hard on your thigh.

Oh... you knew that Renjun was packing, for God’s sake you were the one that designed it for him. But seeing it for the first time in such way...it was making your mouth water at the pretty sight before you.

Renjun was on the thick side of the things, with the prettiest shade of pink for his tip. A couple of throbbing veins adorned the side of his cock that you were just dying to feel inside of you.

Before you could say anything to him, Renjun took hold of the base of his cock and guided it to between your folds to gather up as much slick as he could. Feeling like he needed his dick a bit more wet, he spat on himself, and your glistening folds a couple times to where he gave a content smile. He then guided his tip towards your awaiting entrance.

Renjun started to slowly push his fat tip into your tight entrance that caused for a groan to leave his lips and for a moan to leave yours. He continued to push himself inch by inch until he was fully seethed inside of you.

You knew Renjun wasn’t moving as he was letting you adjust to his size considering he didn’t fully prep you for his size, but how could think about him adjusting when you needed him to start moving or you thought you were going to go crazy at the stillness.

“Renjun...s-so full.” you whimpered as you placed your hands on his shoulders and lightly dug your finger nails into them creating half-moon indents.

He slowly started to glide against your gummy walls, and you swore you felt one of his veins thump violently inside of you. Renjun swore under his breath as he tried to hold in his load as he didn’t want to ejaculate prematurely just because of how your warmth was consuming him whole.

You watched the way Renjun couldn’t take his eyes off of where the two of you became one. You watched the way his eyebrows frowned in pleasure as small pants started to come out of his mouth. Renjun’s gaze switched up to you to see how you were handling everything, and he swore he felt something within him snap at the look of ecstasy on your face.

Without much warning to you, Renjun pulled out almost completely just leaving his tip inside of you and thrusted fully in one go. This caused you to arch you back off of the bed with a squeal.

“S-sorry! Did I hurt you?” Renjun panicked as he completely stayed still inside of you as he wasn’t sure how to take your reaction.

“N-no just — ah! — just felt so good.” you moaned out as you felt Renjun’s tip nudge slightly at your cervix.

“Oh...” he muttered quietly as he looked down at where the two of you connected once again before he started to create a fast pace.

Short, quick pants leave your lips as you tried to keep up with the fast pace Renjun was going at now. You felt more of your wetness sleek out of you as you watched the way he was completely zooned onto your stomach as he watched the way each time, he pounded in he could see a slight bulge through your stomach.

You went to say something to him when he suddenly started to pick up an even faster pace and was hitting that spot within you that you yourself couldn't even get to.

“F-fuck — mmgh! — you feel so good.” Renjun grunted out as he took hold of your legs and pulled them over his shoulders, putting you into such a mean mating press.

“Junie!” you cried out as you felt him go into a deeper angle inside of you.

“Made me wait for so long for you to use me the way I was intended to.” he said as he pushed your thighs down further against your chest.

“Had to fucking watch you fuck yourself with your fingers for you to even let me fuck you.” he grunted between each thrust as he pushed down on your hips, so you wouldn’t move an inch as he continued his ruthless pace on your wet cunt.

At this point you were a complete squelching mess as Renjun kept fucking into you relentlessly. You felt your mouth fall open as silent moans fall through your lips as he continued to hit your g-spot with such precise hits.

“Did you enjoy the fact that I was watching you the whole time baby, hmm?” he teased as he pressed down on your neglected clit causing you to arch your back as much as you could off of the bed. “Tell me baby, did you?”

You felt your head move up and down numbly as you felt yourself getting completely dumb on his delicious cock. Renjun took hold of your face and squished your cheeks together in such a degrading way that you felt yourself clenching, causing Renjun to falter a bit at the sensation.

“Use your words when I’m talking to you.” Renjun said as he leaned his face down to where your lips grazed one another.

A breathless moan leaves your squished lips as you nodded your head which quickly followed a squealing response; “Y-yes!”

“Such a good girl.” Renjun groaned out as he placed his lips on yours as he let his hand go from your face as it loosely wrapped around your neck.

As the of you made out, Renjun created faster and tighter circles against your clit making you whimper into the kiss that he swallowed as your tongues glided against one another. Your felt your core starting to tighten signaling that you were close to your second release of the night.

“I’m — ngh! Ah! — I'm close!” you moaned out once Renjun moved away from your lips to lean down and place love marks on your breasts before he started to lap his tongue against your sensitive nipples.

Renjun knew you were close to the way your velvety walls start to contract against his cock in such a delicious grip that he was so close to blowing his load inside of you completely.

“Can feel you clenching so tightly around me baby...” Renjun said as he felt his thrusts become staggering and somewhat sloppy as he knew he was also close.

“Junie please, please, please come with me!” you whined out as you started to feel the tightening sensation become too much causing for tears to brim against your water line.

“Fuck baby.” Renjun moaned out as he started losing all resolve in holding out as much as he could.

With a small whimper, Renjun looked into your eyes, and you too saw tears brimming at his water lines as the sensation of cumming was all but new to him. You took hold of his face in your hands as you knew he was having a hard time letting go.

“Come with me baby.” you whispered gently between the two of you.

With one last hard thrust, he came with a mix of a whimper and grunt as the gentle, fucked out expression and words you were giving him was just the right push he needed.

As you felt ropes of his cum start to paint the inside of your walls, it was what you just needed as your core tightened completely before releasing in such an Earth shattering orgasm.

You felt Renjun start to soften inside you as you both tried to catch your breath. Renjun placed his forehead against yours as the two of you basked in your post-sex glow. Slowly, Renjun removed himself from inside of you with a low hiss before he laid by your side and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side.

He gently moved the strands of your hair that stuck onto your sweaty forehead out of way, he started to place gentle kisses along your face before he landed on your lips, kissing you gently.

“Don’t do that to me ever again please.” Renjun whispered against your lips.

“I promise baby.” You whispered back to him with a small kiss.

Renjun leaned down and connected your lips into another gentle kiss, sealing the promise between the two of you as he held onto you tightly by his side.

a/n: thank you for reading and thank you again for 300+ follows!

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mingisongs · 5 months ago

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more sleep ⋆• .𖥔 * ˚

ateez! YUNGI; mingi x fem!reader x yunho ᡣ𐭩

summary; waking up next to your boyfriends ♡

pairing; song mingi x jeong yunho x fem!reader

wordcount; 825

tags; comfort, fluff

warnings; somewhat nsfw

notes; written while having a severe endo flare LOL, sorry for mistakes •_•”

i awoke to the sound of rain hitting the windowsill above my headboard. the room was dim, the air cool, the smell of the rain having made its way through the walls. my entire body was overcome with a sense of peace i could feel throughout my bones. my heart was cloaked in euphoria, floating in the middle of my rib cage.

my back was against the plush sheets, my position oblique to the outline of the mattress. the duvet rested on top of my hips, the temperature just enough that i wasn’t to hot or too cold. it felt perfect.

the right side of my body was flush against mingi’s left. my arm rested against his torso, my head resting against his shoulder, turned to face his. as i opened my eyes, i was met with his side profile, succumbed to a deep sleep. his plump, pink lips were parted slightly, quiet breaths with the rise and fall of his chest. the blankets were low enough that they exposed his bare upper body, clad only in jammy pants. his arm was around my shoulders, somehow still in the same position we’d fallen asleep in. i snuggled closer to his warmth.

on the other side of mingi was yunho. he was lying on his side, mostly turned onto his stomach. his head was on the pillow rather than mingi, but his arm was draped over mingi’s stomach, fingers resting against the curve of my waist. he would twitch occasionally in his sleep, causing his fingertips to graze my skin. his hands were a bit smaller than mingi’s, yet still just as loving and gentle, and having them on me in any way set off an electrical storm inside my body.

mingi took a deep breath in his sleep, readjusting, pulling me closer. this caused yunho to stir as well, yet he moved only to rest his cheek on mingi’s shoulder, and tighten his arm around mingi’s tummy.

i realized mingi wasn’t fully sleeping, as he turned his head to press a kiss to yunho’s forehead. butterflies erupted in my belly. sharing a bed with these two was more than easy. i was so fucking in love.

i turned on to my side, still facing mingi. his eyes were closed yet he was failing to pretend, because the corners of his mouth were resisting a smile.

i left a gentle kiss on his jaw right below his ear. i went to kiss his lips, but he caught me off guard by leaning up and meeting me halfway, causing me to giggle in surprise.

“can you guys quiet down,” yunho groaned. “i’m trying to sleep.”

i reached out, tracing my thumb on yunho’s cheek. “sorry, sleepyhead.”

he hummed contently. “it’s raining. looks like we have to stay in bed all day.” this caused mingi to laugh.

i sighed. “what little time i get with you two, i’d love to spend every moment we have together in bed like this.”

mingi squeezed me gently. “me too.”

“then we can do that, princess,” yunho said, lifting his hand from mingi’s skin to place it on the side of my face. i leaned up into his touch. “whatever you like.”

“i’d come over there and kiss you,” i said. “if i wasn’t still half asleep.”

“who’s the sleepyhead now?” mingi asked teasingly.

“you’re the biggest sleepyhead here,” yunho replied, and i giggled as mingi playfully nudged yunho.

they looked at each other for a moment, and i watched their eyes. it was endearing, gentle. though i sometimes saw a fire ignited behind their pupils for one another, this was something soft. a home they’d built for one another rooted deep inside themselves.

for a moment, i forgot i was present there with them.

“i love you,” mingi said quietly, his deep voice still raspy with sleep, before nudging yunho with his nose. yunho’s eyes fluttered closed, he smiled as mingi kissed his forehead once again.

mingi turned to me. “and i love you.” his plump lips met mine, and he kissed me with the same love i had seen him give silently to yunho. slow, slow kisses. i pushed my hips closer to his from the side, trying to get some sort of friction, and yunho’s ran his fingers against my belly. my brain nearly shorted out.

“i love you both so much,” i whispered, my lips still touching mingi’s.

mingi laughed, pulling away. “it’s so early.” forehead kiss. “i need more sleep.”

yunho traced his knuckle beside my belly button. “and we’ll give you lots of attention when we can keep our eyes open.”

i nodded. “okay.”

i settled back into my spot curled up against mingi, so close my lips against his throat, and yunho rested his hand on my waist. we were both snuggled up so close to mingi it was a wonder he could even breathe. but he looked so happy.

and i felt euphoric. ♡

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boybandposter · 7 months ago

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[Headcanons]

⤷𐙚 featuring: Lili de Rochefort 🤍

⤷𐙚 a little bit of toxic behavior if you squint? WLW; she gives off “mean lesbian” (Asuka Kazama…).

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

- The first time you two met, you knew she was trouble. Rich, a smartmouth, and downright arrogant. When you two were in the company of others, she was as sweet as could be. But when it was just the two of you? Lili would nitpick every little thing you did. “Do you really pour tea that way? It’s so… unprofessional.” “Could you fix your hair? There are several mirrors in my room, and yet you still choose to appear slobbish.”

- Until Salt, her cat, took a liking to you, she didn’t care for you in the slightest. Luckily for you, Salt happened to warm up to you (more so than Lili, but you won’t tell her that) fairly quickly. That’s when Lili finally gives you a chance, but only because Salt did. Not for any other reason.

- It would’ve taken a considerable amount of time for Lili to even consider you a friend. But I’m when she finally does? You better not have any other people you want to hang out with. After all, you’re her dearest friend and you should be treated as such. Lili would do anything for your time, but she forgets to mention the manipulation behind the scenes, when she’s paying people to leave you alone.

- She’s the type of woman to be all over her best friend, seemingly innocent on the exterior. From cuddling on the evening of a sleepover to sitting on your lap doing your makeup for you, she’s touchy. But you don’t think much of it, and you’re just glad that she doesn’t treat you poorly anymore.

- Lili teases the living hell out of you, regardless of whether you ask her to stop or not. In Lili’s mind, that’s her showing you that you’re close to her— even if some of the words that slip from her lips would be considered offensive. She especially likes to make fun of you in her native language, her sharp tongue never failing to make a quip on anything you do.

- I can imagine Lili just taking you everywhere she went, treating you as though you were a personal pet. “Come try this on!” She smiles, holding up a short dress. “Does this shade look good on me?” She asks, applying the lip gloss perfectly (and of course, it looked amazing). But Lili just wants to hear your voice, so by all means— she’ll ask you anything to listen to you.

- Lili would totally love sharing food with you— specifically sweets, such as ice cream and milkshakes. Sharing a cup, cheek-to-cheek while enjoying the treat. And suddenly, there’s “something on your face” and she’s wiping her thumb on your cheek. But mind you, you better not take more than an equal share of the food, or you’ll never hear the end of it.

- On the quieter nights with Lili, you two cuddled up in bed with Salt somewhere at your feet, the two of you will share a pair of earbuds playing your favorite music. Lili silently watched you, chewing on her perfectly manicured nails. She couldn’t help but take this moment to admire your beautiful features, her blue eyes raking over your body. What? She couldn’t admire her girlfriend?

- Despite Lili’s protests, you’ll take the time to go and watch her fights. She’s against you seeing so much violence, especially when it’s from her hand. But she won’t stop you (more like her bribes of new clothes or makeup being insufficient) from watching her in the crowd. Lili always keeps an ear out for your cheering, which never fails to boost her morale.

- If Lili were to ever lose (by some slim chance), I just know she would wallow in self pity. If anything, she’s more upset that she lost in front of her girlfriend— she didn’t want to look weak. Gentle coaxing and soft words is all it will take to bring a smile to her face, albeit it’s always reluctant. A few kisses would sweeten the deal a bit as well.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

⤷𐙚 author’s note: 2nd semester has been super crazy, so it’s been literally 2 months since I last posted :( I’ll try to post more often !

#florence writes !#fanfic #writing #requests open #x reader #tekken #tekken 8 #lili de rochefort #lili tekken #lili de rochefort tekken #lili de rochefort headcanons #headcanons #lili tekken x reader #lili de rochefort x fem!reader #lili de rochefort x reader #wlw

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bu11etzzz · 10 days ago

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 |Welcome!| <3

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Inbox/Dm’s are open .ᐟ.ᐟ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

(- If you have a special request or would like to chat)

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

About me .ᐟ.ᐟ

Hi! Im pancakezzz or Vinny which is my real name, i go by he/him pronouns, I have c-ptsd, anxiety, I’m a bit on the spectrum and I use little space to cope!

I’m an age/boy regressor! (SFW, NOT ANYTHING WEIRD!) My big age is 15 and my little age ranges from 0-3

I’m also a pet regressor, a bunny and lamb and occasionally a puppy

I’m single but not looking for anyone. I have no cg (but I’m open to looking for one possibly.) I barely have any friends…(⸝⸝⸝╺﹏╺⸝⸝⸝)

I’m very socially awkward and don’t know how to talk to people so sorry if I’m a bit awkward or come off as a weirdo (⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝)

This is my one and only account!

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

More info/Dni .ᐟ.ᐟ

↓

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Interests .ᐟ.ᐟ

I have tons of different aesthetics, goblincore, emo, cottagecore, scene, punk + more. I love the color baby blue and cute childlike aesthetics when regressed! :D

I love drawing when regressed and when I’m not, I love music and I occasionally play instruments, I cook and bake a lot and I want to be a chef! :3

I love to make moodboards and outfit inspo for the agere or petre community

I love comfy clutter, it’s a safe haven for me. Comfy cozy places especially during winter all bundled up is something I really enjoy!

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Fandoms .ᐟ.ᐟ

Video games - Stardew valley, Genshin impact, Call of duty, Fnaf, Animal crossing, Fallout, Red dead redemption, Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda, Arkham Knights, Deadplate, Minecraft, Sally Face, Hypnosis mic, Resident evil + Creepypasta & Percy Jackson (which isn’t video games I just didn’t know where to put them)

Movies - Batman Dark Knight, Sugar and spice, Deadpool, Spiderman, Lilo and stitch, Practical magic, On the count of three

Tv shows - Supernatural, Hannibal, The walking dead, Gotham, Tmnt, Lego ninjago

Shows when I’m regressed - Bluey, Shaun the sheep, Spongebob, Blues clues, Sesame Street, Strawberry shortcake

Anime - Ouran host club, My hero academia, Given, Death note, Sk8 the infinity, Bungo stray dogs, Vassalord

Music - My chemical romance, Avenged sevenfold, A perfect circle, Ghost and pals, Miku hatsune, Type o negative, Seether, Get scared, Lady Gaga, Radiohead. I enjoy genres like rock, scenecore, rave, alternative rock, indie, sigilkore, angelic metal and shoegaze. When regressed I love soft lullabies and instrumental music to calm me down!

(More to be added .ᐟ.ᐟ)

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

!DO NOT INTERACT!

(Striking out a few words as to not make people uncomfortable)

Please do not interact if you’re homophobic, transphobic, pro life, fatphobic, racist, sexist, misogynistic, ableist, a terf, white supremacist, gore watchers/enjoyers, nazi/support nazi’s or Hitler, Anti therians/furries, Anti age regression or pet regression, PEOPLE WHO SEXUALIZE AGE REGRESSION. Age players, pet players, ddlg, abdl + other forms of sexual play. Nsfw/nsft accounts, porn accounts, maps/pedophiles + there’s probably more I’m missing but please just don’t be a weirdo.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Please interact .ᐟ.ᐟ

age regressors, pet regressors, furries, therians, people who share the same interests, fellow cool people!, or anyone who just wants to be friends and respects my boundaries! :D

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

BYE .ᐟ.ᐟ <3

- pancakezzz ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

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ccosmopolitan · 5 months ago

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— . 𝐂𝐎𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌 !

౨ৎ masterlist | rules (byf) — this blog contains NSFW content, minors do not interact or you will be blocked!

# 𝑪𝑶𝑺𝑴𝑶 (Nova) .𖥔˚ she/her pronouns . . 9teen — cancer sun, gemini moon, pisces rising ★ : infp-t, bisexual in love with himbo men and dom women !

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 . satoru's princess. hawks' nightowl + miruko's bunnygirl. aki's pretty girl. kumigami's wifey. and atsumu's slut.

꒷꒦ favorite things ? : anime. collecting manga and trinkets. astrology. ancient history. poetry. rainy days. cats. being organized. drawing. being alone. writing/reading. k-pop (svt & bts!). naps :)

ULTs: jjk. bnha. aot. csm. demon slayer. death note. soul eater. haikyu. hxh. one piece. blue lock. a silent voice. tokyo revengers. jjba & many more!

CCOSMOPOLITAN 2024 © written content ISN'T to be copied, translated, reposted, OR recommended outside of tumblr!

#౨ৎ ׅ ۫ . ♡ ⋆

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kepler-station · 1 month ago

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OMGEE CUTE BLOG??? HELLO MOOTIE! I HAVENT MET ANYONE ON TUMBLR LIKE MEEEE HAIIII

AII !!! 🥹🫶🏻 thankyou, u too !!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

IM JUST LIKE YOUU, YOU'RE JUST LIKE MEEE— hehehe same ive never seen a blog like mine until i saw ur post abt the ancients trapping thief reader cookie !!! 🥹🥹🙌🏻 happi happi happii

#— love notes ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

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jiarkives · 6 months ago

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can you babysit our child?

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ summary — you ask nanami if he can babysit your child while you go out.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ character — nanami kento (jujutsu kaisen)

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ content — fluff, ooc nanami (?), no pronouns used but kinda leaning towards fem

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ notes — i just had an idea and wrote it,,, no edit whatsoever 😶‍🌫️

Recently, Nanami’s students showed you an application called TikTok and you had been hooked to it, to say the least. Whenever you had free time, you would scroll on the app for hours on end.

And while scrolling one time, you came across a certain video of a couple and decided to test it out on Nanami to see how he would react.

“Hey, Ken?” You called out to your husband from the living room as you played with your toddler in her playpen. “Can you come here for a sec?”

“Yes, hon?” Nanami stepped into the living room from the kitchen where he had been cooking your lunch for the past hour or so, his apron still tied around his waist and the sleeves of his sweatshirt folded haphazardly up to his forearms.

“So I have an appointment with my nail tech tomorrow, right?” You reminded. “And Shoko and I decided to go out for a girl’s day.”

“The one you told me about over dinner three nights ago?” God help you, he even remembered when you told him. “Do you need something, hon? You know you can just take my card, right? You know where my wallet is.”

“No, no, but that is a tempting offer, admittedly, but no.” You grinned. “But I was just wondering, since I’d be gone the whole day tomorrow, maybe you can babysit our child?”

His eyebrows were immediately drawn together at your words and admittedly, a part of you thought he would turn you down and so you spoke quickly, “It’s alright if you can’t though. I can just reschedule my nail appointment and with Shoko.”

“No, it’s not that. You should go, hon, you deserve a break,” he told you in assurance, but his brows are still furrowed. “But why are you saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Babysitting,” he said. “You asked me to babysit our child.”

“Well, yeah, because I’d be out tomorrow and someone needs to take care of our child, you know?” You said, feigning nonchalance.

“Honey, I want you to be honest with me. Have I been making you feel neglected lately?” He asked worriedly, stepping closer to you and even going as far as sitting beside you on the floor. “I know I’ve been working overtime the past few days. Have you been feeling lonely because of that?”

Now, it was your turn to be confused.

“No, why’d you ask?”

“You asked me to babysit our child,” he reiterated. “Hon, I am the father of our child. I will take care of them the way a father should, and not just babysit them like I’mm being paid to do so.”

You were about to speak, but he cut you off, “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but I’ll make it up to you two, alright? I promise.”

“Ken.” You giggled, throwing your arms around him. “It was a prank. I saw it on TikTok the other day.”

“Honey.” He sighed.

“I know, I’m sorry.” You jutted your bottom lip out as you pulled away. “But I love you so much, oh my god.”

“I love you too.” A small smile grew on his face. “But don’t ever do that again.”

He stood and moved to go back to the kitchen, but paused to turn to you, “And you’re definitely taking my card now.”

Well, your child is definitely going to have a new sibling soon.

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findroleplay · 6 months ago

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... hellooo 💌💋 20f discord writer here ! ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

so i recently started playing tes: morrowind/the elder scrolls 3 and the brainrot has taken me by storm — particularlyyy for voryn dagoth/indoril nerevar (or the nerevarine). i'm looking for those interested in playing voryn against my nerevar and/or nerevarine (oc) specifically ... but vivec, sotha sil or almalexia would be nice to see too !

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 001 : my works are either multipara or mini-novella, typically reaching over one or two-thousand words per response & i write almost exclusively in third person pov, present tense (though i can absolutely adjust to fit the needs and comfort of my partner: writing more/less, switching the tense, etc). ofc, i don't expect this to be mirrored or anything — just do what's comfortable for yourself !

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 002 : mxm, mxf, trans characters, etc. are all welcome & nsfw/dark themes are super encouraged (🕊️ included). i'm open to anything you can think of !

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 003 : please be open to chatting ooc. i love to gush about our characters and ideas, and i really want to see that same enthusiasm reciprocated. if you don't have the time & aren't interested in becoming friends during our journey as writing partners, please don't reach out !

( NOTE ) i have to warn that i haven't finished morrowind, nor am i too educated on the elder scrolls lore yet. this is genuinely my first venture into the tes community, and honestly high fantasy in general, so i still have plenty to learn about the world and its characters — which means i'll probably need some patience (and maybe a little hand-holding) until i understand it at a decent level. & spoilers are totally okay!

i have no idea how active this fandom is, but thank you for reading ... ! as usual, please like the post if you're interested !

#roleplay #rp #tes: morrowind rp #the elder scrolls 3 rp

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huexuri · 10 months ago

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★ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‧‧ 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.

NSFW, MDNI!!!

⚠︎ sensitive topics: mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts, a scene mentioning eating disorders and self harm, another mention of self harm (scars) in another scene but it's used in a fluff scene ⚠︎

➜ pairing: fem!reader x switch!kai

➜ synopsis: you're in a very dark place. in your hopes of finding a best friend that loves the same things you do; just to give yourself one last chance to be happy, you come across hueningkai — who ends up being the beam of light in your dull, melancholy hell of a life.. and he might've just saved you from ending it all.

➜ genre: angst, smut, fluff, college au, love at first sight

➜ warnings: first of all — reader is GOING THROUGH IT holy shit... and is pretty ill mentally, reader has ed, has sh scars and stuff like that, fem!reader, switch!kai, the sensitive topics stated above, angst is mostly in the beginning and scattered throughout the story, first time sex, blowjob, cum eating, quite a lot of fluff, quite a lot of swearing (literally the first 2 words of the fic LMAOO), friends to lovers trope, fluff ending, implied that reader wears baggy clothes, reader is basically a character and not "you" anymore in this sense.

➜ wc: 8.5k WHAT THE FUCK

➜ note: this is nawt proofread!!!! my first ever serious fic...... really hope i don't fuck this up or forget about it or!!!!! ya. + I WENT INSANE WRITING THIS like bitch was so hard 2 write 4 WHAT

“fucking bitch seriously blocked me on everything...”

you stare at your phone screen in disbelief.

“fuck you mean by i can't contact this number??!” you shouted in fury — your voice echoed into nothingness as you collapse onto the comfort of your mattress.

as your phone slips from your grasp, it drops to the ground. you let it fall, indifferent. you bury your head into a pillow and let it soak your salty tears.

but.. how did you end up like this?… all because of your now ex best friend — yewon. she found a man. at first, you were beyond delighted for her. she'd always complained to you about being lonely, and you swore to her that she had you, no matter what… but she didn't. she broke your promise — and the girl that once had an irreplaceable bond with you had turned into someone else when you voiced to her about your suicidal thoughts. it didn't help that she seemed like she loved her few week relationship with that guy more than the eight year friendship she had with you. you'd always been there for her through thick and thin, yet when you opened up about your struggles, it didn't occur to you that she'd scold you for being sensitive... or for being an attention seeker? or that she'd rather talk to a fucking trash can than listen to you blabber all day about some "emo shit"?

she would never say this to you. you know she wouldn't.

when you texted her about that, she was out with that stupid fucking guy. she didn't have time for you. but to you, it wasn't just emo shit — you really needed her. this time, you really. needed. her.

you still tried to reach out to apologize; but she chose to block your contact on everything, throwing away the almost decade old bond you have with her — leaving you on the brink of despair.

you were really so fucking close to ending it all.. no, you were going to do it. you wrote a letter and all.

yet, somehow, amidst the darkness, you found a glimmer of hope, a reason to hold on. despite the unbearable thoughts, you gave yourself a chance to seek happiness, and for that, you're grateful.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

it's been a week since; each day since her betrayal feels like a relentless onslaught. you would say you've been miserable, but words like 'misery' pale in comparison to the heartache she's given you.

everyday you resist the urge to rip and tear the polaroid photos of the both of you off of your walls.

what went wrong? she was your everything. she meant the world to you.

that was your last straw, and you were really starting to consider what you wanted to do a week prior.

but just then, you felt your phone vibrate in your hands, with that familiar ping sound that reminded you of when she'd always talk to you. it made you shiver in unease — everything reminded you of her.

ding! 2 unread notifications!

“another one?”

you frustratedly turn on your phone to find 2 unread messages from an unknown number. he went by the display name of kai… you thought it was painfully familiar and off-putting, but you decide to dig deeper.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

Kai : hey, i'm sorry if this is a bother</3

Kai : but are you yewon's friend?

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you probably left him on read for 5 minutes straight, because you gazed speechless at your phone screen, at that notorious name — yewon — for 5 minutes straight.

“who the fuck is this dude? this is so fucking creepy.” you muttered to yourself before your thumbs started glazing over the screen in hesitancy.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

Kai : hey, i'm sorry if this is a bother</3

Kai : but are you yewon's friend?

you : who r u??? and what do YOU know about her??

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

maybe you came off as rude, but how can you not, when some random ass uncanny guy is asking you about your personal problems?

ding! 1 unread notification!

another one, and as you read the text, your gaze softens.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

Kai : i'm fr sorry i struck a nerve,, but i'm yewon's ex, well because i js broke up w her:/

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

ex? you wondered. "didn't she love him so much she left me?" you scoffed, pettiness lacing every word.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you : i thought y'all were doing good? n also why are you texting me about this

Kai : basically i got a bit nosy when she left her laptop open when she was showering and then i came across her texts w another guy which were obviously romantic

Kai : then i decided to look further and found she blocked some1 which i assume it's u bc i got that number from there, and i felt really bad that she was so brutal to you esp when u seemed like u needed her most? it said u texted her smtg like "girl i really need to talk, im in a horrible place rn please talk to me im literally at my breaking point" and then she fired off on you.... like damn..

you : oh… okay,, yeah. and also i'm sorry she treated you like shit as well

Kai : i should be sorry as well, since it looks like i got in the way of your friendship, like i feel really fking guilty

you : it's fine, i know you didnt have bad intentions

Kai : i js wanna say since we both got hurt by the same woman, we both need someone that understands eachother and im just suggesting if we can be friends? if you're still grieving i wont bother you abt it,,

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you came to the realization that despite being cheated on, he remained respectful and considerate of your feelings, a realization that gently tugged at the corners of your lips, being the first smile of yours since the incident. in that moment, clarity washed over you, and you knew without a doubt that the both of you needed each other.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you : okay.. sure:) my name is y/n.

Kai : i'm hueningkai, kai or hyuka or huening for short.

you : okay, hyuka it is

Kai : why? lolol

you : it's cuter than kai or hueningg :ppp

Kai : well, whatever you wanna call me then loll

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you looked back up at the polaroid photos of you and yewon on the wall. you're dedicated to rip them off. it isn't just you — she's the problem, and over the 8 years of knowing her, only now you start to realize that she is an asshole. she has always been, and you were too gullible to realize.

you were never a believer of the concept that "everything happens for a reason", but from then on, you had a gut feeling that this “hyuka” guy came into your life for a reason. maybe he is that glimmer of hope, that reason to hold on.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

as it turns out, now that you're texting kai on a daily basis, you've discovered that you both share a deep passion for astronomy. dreaming of the day you can finally explore space or simply just gazing at the stars at night, you both find yourselves bonding over this pretty form of study.

even better? you both end up attending the same college. school life never really comes up in your conversations, so it comes as a delightful surprise when you accidentally bump into a tall, really, really pretty boy whom you immediately recognize from the greek god looking face and voice you've been texting and calling every day — hueningkai.

“aah, sorry!" you mutter, hastily retrieving your bag from the floor.

"naaahh! don't worry about it—"

you recognize that energetic honey voice all too well.

"hyuka?" you look up to him as you slowly retreat to your feet, hoping you didn't mistake him for someone else.

"y/n?" he exclaims with a smile, his eyes scanning your features with fascination and disbelief.

“it's really you!!” you gasp as your hand hovers over your mouth. quickly adjusting your bag onto your shoulder, you take a step back to fully look at him in real life for the very first time, and not just through video calls.

“woaaaaah, holy shit… you're so pretty in real life.” kai mutters in fascination, almost like a whisper. he's scanning you up and down as his smile softens into an amused one.

“says you??? you're fucking ethereal…” your gaze fixates to every feature on his face — you're looking at him as if he's like an angel.

“t-thank you,” he mumbles, flustered.

“mhm...” you smile and nod, slightly giggling at that.

“you know… since we have a bit of time before lectures start, wanna grab a bite with me?” kai suggests, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

“of course.” you immediately reassure him.

kai's lips widened into a delighted smile. you hold onto his wrist as the both of you stroll out the hallway.

it's been a long time since you experienced this kind of joy — because hyuka is such a ray of sunshine, being around him makes anyone's heart flutter.

as you and kai make your way to the campus cafe, the air is filled with a comfortable silence, disrupted by the occasional shared smiles and sneaky glances to eachother. stepping foot into the cafe, the both of you gasp in awe — the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and egg tarts being the second thing on your mind after.. hueningkai.

the both of you find a cozy c shaped sofa at the corner of the cafe. you both settle in, the chatter of other students fading into the background as background noise as you and him talk about nonsense. the both of you chit chat over egg tarts and steaming cups of coffee. you find yourselves safe and sound within each other's company. sometimes, he rubs against you — which makes you feel a bit hot in your cheeks. maybe it wasn't intentional, but oh god, did you feel like you needed him.

finishing up the tarts, the both of you return to campus satisfied and without a word, before exchanging waves as you both walk to your designated lecture rooms.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

during lectures, all you can think of is kai. his presence has a way of making you feel safe and it almost hurt to not be around him. you could've stayed at home crying over yewon, but when you meet someone that encountered the same problem as you, it's as if time stands still when you're with them, and all your worries fade away. kai is your someone. he eases the churning in your stomach with his energetic personality, and when he's all timid and flustered you can't help but giggle. his laugh is contagious. he's like a happy virus, or a beam of light that follows you like a shadow. and ever since the day he contacted you, you stopped relapsing — your thoughts have calmed down and it's like he saved you. no, he certainly did.

not to mention, that dazed intensity in his eyes, the pretty curve of his hooked nose, his fluffy, cloud like brown hair that seems to invite you to run your fingers through them, his sun-kissed skin that speaks of lazy days spent under the golden rays, and those perfect, pillow lips that are basically begging you to absolutely ruin them. shit, you're really falling in love.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

you wake up the next day to a series of messages from kai.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

hyuka💓 : girl, just because it's our day off doesn't mean you get to wake up at 2pm……

hyuka💓 : IT'S BEEN AN HOUR SINCE I SENT THAT I DIDN'T MEAN IT BY ACTUALLY WAKE UP AT 2PM OMGGG

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you sigh at your phone screen, so bright in your bare eyes. he knows you have an atrocious sleeping schedule.

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you : it's not my fault this week is the only week since centuries ago that we have a holiday, no shit ill sleep in😭

you : what did you need tho??

‎‎‎‎‎hyuka💓 : i needs you at my place rnnnnnnnn im so bored and honestly i just wanna talk to you, yk? you know since you never really got 2 cry to someone about ykkk

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎�� ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you realized what he meant — it was evident he was trying to be considerate, not bringing up memories of… her. yet, despite his efforts, a wave of unease washed over you, screaming at you that you hadn't completely moved on. as you stared at the crumpled polaroid photos that once adorned your wall now barely stuffed in your dustbin, you really did need to let it out. you knew can't just ignore it and push it under the rug, no, not with the voices ringing in your head, telling you everyday to fucking kill yourself, you can't. you weren't over it yet — instead, you just forgot about it when you were with kai.

gazing over the text again, he really does care about you. you start to feel a bit better at that.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

you : thank you hyuka <3 i'll come over asap ok??? js need to find the address u gave me previously lol

hyuka💓 : of course!! i also need some entertainment and company, so i really do wanna hear you talkkkk

‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧

turning off your phone, you lazily head to the bathroom to clean up. you spent a rushed 5 minutes trying to find a decent casual outfit while smothering vaseline all over your lips. you didn't want to appear at his doorway looking like a slug, especially because you just woke up.

grabbing your keys and necessities, remembering that he has an obsession with plushies, you grab your favourite one and rush out the apartment.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

you walk to his apartment as it wasn't far from yours. the thought of just chit-chatting to him in his room clouds your mind. your heartbeat races as you hope you don't look too unpresentable. despite your nervousness — you clutch the small plushie hanging on your bag handle, and it provides a sense of comfort, reminding you of him in a better light. you navigate the familiar streets, the cool morning air brushing against your skin.

arriving at his doorstep, you take a deep breath before pressing the doorbell. your heart pounds in your chest as you wait.. you have no idea why you're so nervous, maybe it's just because when he's on your mind, you feel a bit giddy inside.

when the door finally opens, you're immediately greeted by his warm smile, instantly easing your tension.

"hey girllll," he says, his tired eyes still glistening with excitement. "c’mon in!"

you follow him inside, the plushie held tightly in your grip. his apartment is moderately tidy for a college student — maybe a few pieces of clothing lying around, but you can't deny that your room is 5 times worse than that. you settle into the cozy atmosphere of his apartment, the tension slowly melts away. as you walk up the stairs to his room, he offers you a hand, probably for stability. you really hope he doesn't realize your cheeks are becoming beet red as you take his hand in yours and walk up the stairs together.

finally — you reach his room, and the both of you sigh as you settle in. first thing you notice? — his bed. you're greeted with the familiar collection of plushies at the corner of his bed that always show up in frame whenever he's on call with you. you gaze at his collection in awe as your lips slightly part in amusement, because it seemed as if he treated his plushies better than anything else in the house — they're stacked on top of each other with care, penguins that are arranged from big penguins to small ones, and the cherry on top? they're colour coded.

you plonk on his bed as if it was yours — but you make sure to not disturb his plushies, and he giggles.

“you really that tired?” he looks at you, palms on his waist.

“yeah,” you sigh. “but i can't decline talking to you, can i?” you say with a sarcastic smile.

kai giggles cockily. “toooo baddd~ you're stuck with me now.”

you grin at his silliness as you put down your bag and unhook your plushie to show it to him.

“look at what i got~” you coo.

his eyes brighten and his hand goes flying to cover his mouth and he gasps in amusement. he walks over to your direction and you scoot over to give him some space before he sits onto the spot on the bed beside you.

“oh. my. goshhh!!” he almost snatches it from you as he turns it in different angles to look at it under different lightings.

at that moment, you look at him like he's a toddler. he's sure acting like one, but you find it cute how he's so facinated about things like this, and at last, you feel a bit warm inside — a feeling of safety and comfort that locks within you when you're around him like this.

“give it backkkk!” you whine as he turns away from you, fixating on that poor penguin.

“mini peng peng will sit here beside the big peng pengs until you go home!” kai ignores you as he sits it beside his penguin plushie collection on his bed.

you sigh in defeat and he smiles at you.

“damn, you're lucky you're cute as hell.” you mumble.

“okay, okay. did you forget why you were here?” kai settles down.

for a moment — you look at him with confusion.

“you know… i mean, if you want to. i really don't mind if the mood darkens, i just want to console you. you didn't have anyone, right?” his tone deepens in pity.

…

“oh…” you answer, the bad memories flooding your brain once again.

“no, no, if you want to of course— i don't want to force you, please don't be sad—” he frantically tries to calm you down and immediately regrets asking.

“no, kai, it's okay. i feel that it's better if i don't bottle it up.” you say, avoiding his gaze.

kai nods at you with expectancy, he waits for you to talk.

“but..” you look up at him.

“but??” he responds, almost within light seconds.

“are you sure you want to sit here and be burdened?” you say, your head low as you look away again.

“y/n…”

“what, kai?”

he leans in to softly hug you, he doesn't fully hug you until he gets a signal of consent from you. when you timidly retrieve the hug, he squeezes you and pulls you in, chest to chest with you. he slightly shivers at the feeling of your chest so heavy against his. his chin is on the crown of your head as you quiver slightly beneath him.

“don't say that. you're not a burden..”

you don't respond, instead, your eyes slightly water.

“why do you think i wanted to talk to you?” he asks, with a warm, almost parental-like comforting tone.

you shake your head in response, shoving your face further into the soft wool of his sweater.

“ever since i saw the messages on yewon's screen, i didn't feel bad for anyone but you.” kai sighs.

you manage to mutter. “but, you got cheated on, aren't you sad?”

“no. honestly? i loved her very much. but it was so painfully obvious she used me for my money, so i was planning to break up with her anyway. when i found out she cheated on me, i just thought it was a win-win situation. she seemed happy to leave me anyway. i was only with her for two weeks, you know? and in that time, i never felt the same bond with her, or anyone else, that i feel with you after just a week and a half.” kai reassured you. every word he claimed, it calmed you more and more in your bones. honestly, you were so close to asking “what are we?” but you couldn't word anything but burst into tears under him.

your sobbing muffled in his sweater. you hope you didn't get any spit on his sweater.

“shh, shhh. it's gonna be okay.” he spoke to you, his chin rubbing the top of your head as he pats you on the back, almost like a father figure. there was no other word but “safe” you could use to describe how you felt as that happened.

that, followed by 5 minutes of comfortable silence in your hyuka's arms as you slowly calm down.

“wanna tell me what's up?” he broke the silence, his voice laced with care as he stroked your head with one hand, other still on your back.

“mmm..” you push away from him, finally looking up to his face for the first time since he hugged you.

your eyes are red, lips glossy and slightly parted, nose and cheeks swollen as you manage a pathetic smile. kai looks down at you dumbfounded, he giggles at the sight of you like this.

“damn girl, you look…. awful?” he remarks jokingly. he restrains another laugh as he wipes your tears.

“i do not need to know, hyuka..” you respond, smiling back at him as you wipe his hand away in efforts of wiping the rest of your tears.

the both of you end up lying on the bed, facing each other.

you've never been this close to him before — especially lying on his bed beside him as you go on and on to an understanding hueningkai who nods at every word you say.

“i got diagnosed with an eating disorder.” you softly say, and kai nods.

“i got hospitalized, i made starving myself a priority. hell, i still have tendencies of counting calories. i promised i'd stop. i knew it was bad..” you sigh.

kai winces slightly at your hospital comment.

“had nobody to stop me, -nd i couldn't stop myself,, and then.. and then,” your voice trembled with uncertaincy.

“—the scissors on my table was looking at me, screaming at me to use them on myself, and i—”

“what?” kai cut you off.

“um..”

“please don't tell me you…” kai gestured with a circular motion with his hands, indicating what he wanted to say.

“i'm sorry,,” you sigh, disappointed.

“...oh.” he looked away from you.

“fuck, don't tell me you hate me now? i'm so sorry, I won't do it again, i promise i really—”

“y/n..”

“yeah?” you said, ending with a sigh.

kai takes in a huge breath — “i don't hate you. i'm not disappointed either. i don't encourage you to do it, but i—i’m sorry, it just took me off guard. i'm not saying i want you to—but—it’s your choice, so i'm not disappointed in you, but i'm sure you're aware it's bad for you. just please tell me you won't continue. and mean it. even if you can't right now, i'll be with you until it comes true.” kai sighs, rolling onto his back as his chest rises up and down after holding in a breath he didn't know he held.

“k-kai, i'm.. i promise i won't. maybe i'll break the promise, but…” you pause.

kai looks back at you.

“i'll try my best, for you okay?”

kai shakes his head.

“no, not for me,” he closes his eyes, “for you. for the sake of YOUR well-being. it's not for the sake of making me proud, even though i very well will be proud of you for being clean, but i care most about your health. i want you to stop, for you.”

“i—i..” your voice staggers, somehow restraining what you want to say.

you've always told him “i love you”, many many times. often, it comes off as platonic, but why do you feel tingly — why does your heart flutter as you try to cough out those three words? i, love, and you. it's just three words. why don't you just—

“i love you,” you sigh, breathy in his ear. “h-hyuka.”

“i love you too, y/n.” he responds. it clearly came off as platonic for him, so you don't say anything else to ruin it.

“y-yeah.. thanks. for a lot,” you sniffle again. “thanks for listening to me.”

“it's nothing. it really isn't. i'd much much muuuch rather listen to you talk about your problems than talk to a trash can.” he jokingly references the texts of your ex best-friend, and because it's been quite a while, the both of you giggle at that with no hard feelings.

“um, y/n?” he says, out of the blue.

“yeah?”

“do you mind if i see the scars?”

your heart stops for a second.

“uh, um..”

“i don't want to force you. please don't show it if you don't want to.” he retreats.

“no, i trust you.” you reassure him.

trust is a heavy word. it's certainly weighty — how can you apply this word on a guy you only met for barely two weeks? but he certainly has done nothing but make you feel safe. he's not love bombing you either — as everything between you guys have been kept platonic for every day you've known each other. so, you know that you trust him.

he nods and sighs, prepared for the sight that is awaiting him.

as you sit up, he follows suit, his gaze following your every action. but you hesitate to roll up your pants.

"you really don't have to.." he breathes out, his tone heavy with empathy.

your head dips slightly; awfully disappointed in yourself.

"no, i'm sorry. maybe not now... maybe a bit later when it's less obscene looking.."

"okay, of course." he reassures you gently. he pats your back, each stroke tinged with understanding.

the tension between you both in the room grows hot despite the depressing topic. the way he made you feel so secure kind of had your core honestly ache for him... you know hyuka noticed by the way you constantly crossed your arms to cover your pants, but despite his face growing noticably hot — he didn't mention it.

the rest of the day spent at his, you both did talk about less depressing things — and more about your shared hobbies with him, much about plushies and music and astronomy just to clear the air for a bit.

as he sends you home, the sun sets a beautiful pink and you feel so much better, so much weight off of your shoulders. you can't stop thinking about him. your thoughts about him have became... slightly lewd. maybe it's just the times where he doesn't think you notice him sneakily glancing at your chest once in a while. you think it's cute.

but... he manages to make you feel comfortable and he knows how to keep it in his pants. which, you can't stop thinking about.

you really can't stop thinking about him.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

a few days passed by, and as classes had ended — you had a week of free time to complete your assignments. you wanted to go back to your apartment to complete them.

as you make your way towards the train station, a familiar voice echoes in the distance. who else can it be, but your best friend, hueningkai, calling out to you? you turn your head to see him running towards you, a bright smile on his face.

"y/nnn!" kai's voice rings out, filled with excitement as he closes the distance between you.

you stop in your tracks as you take out one side of your earphones. a smile sneaks up on your face as you look at him, waiting for him and his long legs to catch up. when he finally reaches you, he's slightly out of breath but still, beaming.

"hyuka!! what're you here for?" you ask, unplugging your earphones and stuffing them into your pocket.

“haah… haa… i made a last minute choice to go back home, and since you're here now, i'd prefer riding the train with you.” he says, panting.

“honestly, since you're here already, you can stay at my place for a night if you want.” you suggest, since he'd let you over that day.

“mmm… i’ve got no clothes to change..”

“silly, just borrow mine. my clothes are awfully baggy, and you know it.” you giggle.

“you're so right, i'm coming! hehehe~” kai drags you by your arm like an excited toddler despite being almost a foot taller than you. he drags you to the next stop after buying tickets, and the both of you board on the train together.

as the train rattled along the tracks, you and kai sat at the seats nearest to the end of the train.

"how's everything going with your classes?" kai asked, leaning back against his seat.

you shrugged, a tireless look across your face. "been like shit honestly, ’ve been having loads and loads of assignments, but at least they're due not that soon, so i'll probably be okay.” you sigh as you scramble in your pocket for your earphones.

"damn," he replied, sighing. "i've been swamped with practice lately."

you nodded in understanding, knowing how much he practices for piano. “too bad, but you already can play the piano so well, so it's weird seeing you practice every second of the day when you're not studying."

kai whines at your comment. “i have 495 pieces i haven't mastered yet, you don't get ittt..”

you scoff in reply as you plug in your earphones into your phone.

you wipe the left side of the bud and hand it to him. “wanna share? i have aaaaaamazing music taste.” you smile.

“i don't believe you, but sure..” he takes your earphone bud and puts it in his ear. you follow suit with the right one.

“this is actually kinda good?” kai looks at you in amusement.

“are you saying you didn't expect me to have good music taste? you bastard!” you nudge him playfully, and he giggles hysterically.

a few minutes pass in silence as kai slowly dozes off onto your shoulder. his fluffy hair is against the crook of your neck. you sneakily take his hand in yours, and in surprise, he'd intertwined his fingers with yours and even gripped it tightly. you felt your cheeks grow hot, but you stayed there like that. the train shakes consistently as it moves, but when you have kai holding your hand, you feel more secure than ever.

the rest of the train ride passed in a blur, the hours slipping away as the both of you rested against each other. before you knew it, the train was pulling into your stop, and you gave kai a light tap to wake him up, gathered your belongings, unplugged your earphones, ready to head back to your apartment with him.

you reach your apartment door and unlock it, letting him in first. he trails behind you as you lead him to your room.

“you can just hang around in my room first, i'm gonna go to the toilet. i'll be right back!” you said as you walked out of your room. kai hummed in understanding and put his things at the corner of your room.

leaving him alone, kai's gaze wandered curiously, fixating on familiar objects with an uneasy feeling in his gut. he'd slowly settled onto your bed to check his phone until something else caught his eye — a piece of paper that looked like it was stuffed at the corner of your bed frame with much effort. kai knew he shouldn't butt in your business, but he couldn't help but reach for the ominous looking paper, torn and worn with dust and rips.

kai reached out, fingers trembling as they brushed against the surface of the letter. with a hesitant breath, he uncrumpled the paper, more of a letter as he continued to unravel the folds. his eyes quivered the more he read — each word a dagger to his heart as he realized what it was — that suicide letter you had written 2 weeks prior after that incident; a damned diary page torn out of it's book with your heaviest feelings written onto the sheet as poorly written words.

he doesn't remember you telling him about this before. he never had a doubt that you were faking that energy whenever you were with him. he could've never guessed you rip your eyes out everyday in the campus bathrooms because your intrusive thoughts keep telling you to jump. and he would've never thought you were ill if you didn't tell him.

“how can such sunshine like you be consumed by such darkness?” was the thought that rang in his mind the further his eyes made its way down the paper.

the words no longer made sense to him. they blurred before his eyes, tears stinging like alcohol as he struggled to read the next sentence.

“the fuck are you doing?” you stood at your doorway, beads of tears welling up at your eyes once you realized what he was reading.

kai's heart clenched with anguish as he looked up at you with eyes glossy with tears.

the both of you exchanged uncomfortable stares at each other as he held the paper in his hands tighter than ever before, his knuckles turning a whiteish hue.

“why d-didn't you say anything?” kai's lips quivered as he stared deadly into your eyes; eyelids failing to hold his tears from falling.

“put it down… please..” you softly begged as you reached for the paper, fat beads of tears rolling down your swollen cheeks.

but kai puts it behind him, and he stands up.

“p-please, please don't hate me, please i'm so awfully sorry, i re—”

“don't.” kai sighed.

and then, in the silence that followed — kai enveloped you in his embrace. as you returned the hug, the both of you shivered as tears uncontrollably fell from the both of your eyes. there were no words spoken between you guys — just timely sniffs and “i'm sorry” being whispered over and over again.

“y/n,” kai's lips quivered as he let go of you and wiped his eyes.

“yeah?” you reply, timidly.

kai cupped your face as he swooped your tears away. "you know? if you left this early, you wouldn't be able to see the stars like you always wanted to — instead, you'd be the star that i'd gaze at every night with tears in my eyes.”

you felt tears well up at your eyes again.

“i love you, y/n.”

“i love you …. too?”

“no, like… actually. i really fucking love you.” kai confessed lowly.

silence fills the air as he expectantly waits for a word. but, all that clouds your mind is... finally. he finally confessed.

“i'm sorry—” kai stumbled as he took his hand off of your face.

“no. can i?” you said as your eyes darted at his plump, swollen lips.

“can you.. what?” he asked.

placing a hand on his face, the air grows intimate between you guys. his eyes glisten at you, hoping you'd do what he thinks you would. before your lips meet with his, time seems to stop for a split second—

and then it happens. the soft collision of your tender lips against his, and the both of your eyes flutter close. the tension in the air begins to rise as your soft moan travels down his throat as a vibration and he can't help but grab your waist closer to his.

“mmm, fuck.. cherry lipbalm?” he mumbles into the kiss, and you nod. my god, his dirty talking is already so hot to you.

you let go of the kiss to catch a breath. there's a string of spit connecting the both of your lips as you let go.

clearly, the mood had become so much more lustful. you run your fingers through his fluffy hair for the first time. the both of your tears had dried in no time — now, the only thing the both of you need? each other.

you nudge his inner thighs with your knee, and as soon as you felt his erection hiding beneath his pants, you knew he wanted you as much as you did.

“oh my god,” you moaned. “that’s really hot.”

“do you wanna? perhaps it'll make you feel better, maybe relieve some tension..” kai asked.

“protection?” you suggested.

“mm,” kai went to reach out in his bag, and like a magician, a condom appeared in his hands.

“how do you have—”

“i bought a couple extra when i got some for my friend. now, it's just been there for a while.” he immediately explains.

“did you ever think you were gonna use them on someone?” you walk him to the bed, crumpling the letter and tossing it to the other side of your room.

“no,” kai grins. “but it came in handy huh?”

when kai is in this mood, it's as though he's a completely different person from the kai you've known since the day you met him. my god — his tone has never sounded this lustful, his voice going down an octave as he speaks.

“i'm going to make you feel so good,, make you forget about everything that happened. treat you like a princess. i’ll do all the work, okay? i feel like you definitely need it.” kai gently picked you up and onto the bed with your back against the mattress.

“mmm.. i trust you..” you nodded as your body shook with that pet name. he delicately tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“are you sure you want this, y/n?” he stops in the middle of unbuckling his belt — making sure you fully consent to this. you nod desperately and he grins in response as the belt slides effortlessly off his waist.

he unbuttons his pants and immediately his hard-on looks like it's going to explode any time out of his boxers.

“wanna help me take it off?” he coos, as he kneels closer to you.

“yeah, hyuka.” you tug at his waistband playfully and pull it down. he's way bigger than you expected — his cock stiffly springs out of his boxers and hits his stomach with momentum. his veins travel from below the tip all the way to his stomach, and as he pumps his cock back — his fiery red tip is revealed, and as you admire it, you touch it and it's burning hot to the touch.

“holy shit.. how's that going to fit?” you scoff out in amusement as kai giggles at your unserious comment, a tinge of his usual bubbly self present in that giggle.

unwrapping the condom, he offers it to you to help him put it on.

instead, you sit up on your elbows so that his cock is in front of your lips — placing the condom on your lips, you hold his hips in place and bob your head forwards to roll it on with your lips.

he gasps as his breath catches in his throat — his eyes rolling back as he looks back at you. “my fucking god, y/n,” he sighs in pleasure. “that looked so hot, you know?”

you look up at him as your lips leave his cock with a pop sound, smile stretching across your face, proud at the praise he'd given you.

you lie back on your back as he adjusts the condom around the base of his shaft.

you unbuckle your pants hesitantly.

“but.. you won't be scared by the scars?” you quietly said, almost missed by him if he wasn't paying attention to you.

“i’ll never be scared or be mad at you. as long as you don't relapse, i'll be proud of those scars that proved you won a war. now, don't be scared, just lie there and i'll fuck you so good you won't have to worry anymore.” he reassures you as he patiently waits for you to undress.

“o-okay,,” you smile at him, shivering on the inside at the last few words, your desperation for him growing more and more. he delicately helps you bring your pants to your toes.

taking them off, he runs a finger across your jagged thighs.

“they're so pretty, you know? you, your thighs, those prettily healed scars, everything is perfect. i'm so proud of you.” he smiles in satisfaction as he watches you spread your thighs open for him. he places a kiss in your inner thigh, and taps his tip against your clothed folds.

“for the last time; are you sure, princess?”

“yes, yes hyuka! i want you!” your voice desperate in reply, he slips your panties aside, letting the cold air hit your sensitive clit.

kai teases your folds as he rubs his tip against them, going back and forth as the wet sounds combine with your desperate whines echo throughout the room — sounding like music to his ears.

“so fucking wet already… such a pretty clit for me~” he softly coos as he runs a thumb across your squelching clit, and your hips slightly tug at that.

“mmmh, j-just want you in me already—aah fuck—”

he thrusts a finger up your naturally lubed pussy and stares at simply how glossy his finger looks.

“shit, you're really desperate, huh?” he grins as he puts that finger in his mouth, sucking it clean.

“taste so sweet, pretty.” he coos at you before nudging his tip around the rim of your entrance.

“shit, i'm gonna thrust now, ’kay?”

“mmm!!” you whine in response as you nod your head.

“f-fuck, haa…” he whines as you take him inch by inch.

“so fucking tight, ngh—” he moans when he feels his tip touch the back of your gummy walls. he's only a bit more than halfway in.

“a-ah, my g-god,,” you whine lewdly as your breath staggers.

“so.. so pretty like this.. i promise i'll do everything to make you happy again.” kai whispers as he holds your hand.

he starts to slowly pick up his pace as he pumps his shaft swiftly in and out of you as wet, sloppy slapping sounds echo with a rhythm. he's dedicated to making your hips meet with each thrust.

“fuckkk, feels so good, mmmfhh!!” you let go of his hand and bite on your knuckles as you restrict your noises, hoping your neighbors won't hear you.

“who cares if anyone hears us,” kai takes your fist off of your mouth, and locks his fingers with yours again. “fucking want you, wanna hear your pretty—ngh—voice tell me how good i make you feel~”

“s-shit, so good, so good..” you manage to mumble as scrabbled words leave your tongue.

“make you feel so good? feels good, huh?” kai uses his freehand to cup your face and stroke your cheek lovingly.

“mmmh!!” you whine out, his thrusts getting sloppy as he throws his head back.

“aah… my god, your walls are clenching on me, fucking drives me crazy,,” his trembling voice manages to go down a few keys, almost like growling.

“does it? show me how it makes you feel..” you reply, clenching on him harder as he winces.

he lets go of his hand in yours, and forces your palm onto his clothed chest — and yet, you can still distinctly feel how fast his heart is beating, and how he's shivering as he continues to thrust.

he interlocks his fingers with yours on his chest, securing it at the feeling of his pumping heart.

“this is how you make me feel, making me go insane, you know that? do that again and i might just bust already,” he moans out, his hips stuttering.

oh my god, he's hot. really fucking hot.

“do it, then. you have protection on.” you suggest, and immediately you feel his thrusting come to a stop as his eyes roll back and the rubber expands inside you.

“fuck, you really did?” you smirk up at him.

his heavy breathing is jagged as his lips tremble. holding the condom at the base of his shaft, with one final thrust he milks himself of his hot cum, he finally comes out of you — a slightly wet pop following as he leaves you inch by inch.

“that was,” you cut yourself off as you catch a breath. “so good..?” you sigh.

“i know right.” he replies as he takes off the condom delicately — some of his cum still around his entire cock. a string of his slick connecting his glossy tip to the base of the condom.

“damn, that's nasty..” you laugh, and he holds the condom with caution in reply to your words.

“you're right,” he sighs. “i'll clean this and throw it away.” the condom is sticky and sagging with his cum. he ties it up and disposes it in a plastic bag he'd always prepared.

“you're hard ….. again?” you notice, as you look down to his cock now glowing blushy red again, and standing up on its own.

“fuck, guess you gotta help me now..” kai looks at you with a cocky smirk, and you roll your eyes.

but how can you say no to that? because now, you're sat face in front of his hard-on again, this time ready to clean it up with your lips.

“this is my first time, so just tell me if it hurts.” you prepare him, and he nods.

you close your eyes and take him in. despite being the first time, hearing kai gasp as you lower your head on him, making your way down from his tip makes your confidence skyrocket. you hollow your cheeks and wrap your tongue around his cock — striking every nerve that sends blood rushing to his cock.

“sss-shit, aah—” he grits his teeth, and immediately you let go of his cock, in fear that you've hurt him by accidentally biting or scraping his shaft.

“did i hurt you, hyuka?” you ask, worriedly checking for any red spots on his shaft, but there wasn't anything.

“n-no, please don't stop, p-please, it felt so good,” kai whines out desperately as he starts to bottom out. he didn't sound close to anything dominant like the kai that was topping you a few minutes ago.

“mmm, okay.” you breathe out onto his tip, hot breath hitting his sensitive spot as he sighs.

as you bob your head down onto him again, swallowing him and enveloping his entire shaft down your throat, almost triggering your gag reflex. you coat his shaft with your saliva and your tongue hugs his tip carefully, flicking it up and down as you watch his hips jitter in response. he moans under you, staring at his cock disappear down your throat.

you slide up and down at a fixed pace and his voice staggers as you do.

“fuck, are you sure this is your f-first—mmh—” he doesn't manage to finish his sentence as he throws his head back at the feeling of his cockhead fitting perfectly at the base of your throat, and you had no idea how you had it in you to not choke on him.

“oh my god.. o-oh.. my fucking god,” kai cries out, his hips starting to stutter, hitting your upper pallette. “i’m gonna cum, fuck, fuck..”

he starts to thrust into your mouth by instinct, and you take him with all your last efforts, and then, you feel his cock twitch inside your mouth, followed by pumps of semen down your throat as you try swallowing every drop of it, despite feeling new and gooey and weird to you.

“haa…haah…” he moans, and you slowly lift your head off him.

“my god y/n. i can't believe this is your first time..” he breathily states.

“really?” you finally catch the breath that you felt like you'd been holding this whole time. when you look up at him for the first time since you sucked him off, his lips are all glossy, his eyes are swollen with tears and his cheeks hot with pleasure. you have never seen him more fucked out than this.

“my god, you're ruined!” you giggle as you lean forward to wipe his semi-dried tears.

“says you with your drool covered mouth..” he remarks, and you immediately wipe your lips.

“is that all you have to say after i just gave you the best blowjob ever?” you tease.

“noooo!!! it was so good, it literally sent me to the stars.” he giggled.

“one day, i'm bringing you to see the stars, for real.” you replied, and you could see his eyes glisten as it spread wide open in interest.

“no! i'm the one bringing you there! you deserve it more!” kai defended like a 5 year old kid, and you couldn't help but chuckle.

“as long as i'm with you, you don't have to worry about how i feel. you saved me, you know?” you sighed.

“what? so what does that letter mean?” he asked sternly.

“the reason why it was trashed in the corner of my bed is because it was written before i met you, dumbass. you made me change my mind.”

“o-oh,” he softly spoke. “really?”

“of course, hyuka. i'm never this happy around anyone. anyone, but you, obviously.”

kai placed a peck on your lips. “i fucking love you so damn much, i hope you know.”

“i know. i realized i loved you the day we ate at that cafe together. in class, all i could think about was you.”

“mmm, and i realized i loved you the day i bumped into you that day and saw you for the first time.” kai smiled.

“okay, okay. let's go get cleaned up, enough of this cheesiness.” you sat up, and he mirrors you, giggling like his usual self as he pulls his waistband up and trails behind you to the bathroom.

⋆.˚ ☁︎ .𖥔˚ ☾

"hey! easy there, don't pull too hard!" kai yelped as you raced towards the shore at nearly light speed, dragging him along by the wrists.

"we've gotta seize every chance to see this! we didn't travel all this way for nothing!" you shouted into the chilly midnight air, your voice echoing against the starry sky.

the night is silent and remote. as the both of you reach the seashore, you both halt to a stop at the shoreline — panting as the both of your heads look up to finally see real stars in the night sky, clusters of stellar bodies that glisten under the prettiest rays of light. the moon is also shining brighter than you've ever seen it.

“i think i'm going to cry,” you jokingly say as you sit down onto the sand. you bring him down with you, grip on his wrist still awfully tight.

“is this what heaven on earth feels like?” kai adds, and you laugh even more.

kai scoots over to sit closer to you as the both of you lean against each other, gazing at the stars like you're both hypnotized.

"i can't believe we're finally stargazing together for the first time," kai said softly.

"yeah," you replied, still lost in the starry spectacle, the world around you fading into a distant hum.

there's a comforting silence that follows, disturbed by the whooshing wind, or leaves waving and fluttering against each other and birds tweeting from afar.

“but..” kai broke the silence.

“hm?” you hummed as you took your eyes off of the sky to look at him.

“if you've always wanted to go watch the stars, why didn't you decide to go yourself? why would you wait for me?” kai asked, his voice breathy and cold.

your head laid onto the comfort of the crook of his neck. “because, despite all these stars, you still shine the brightest. i wouldn't enjoy this as much as i am now if i wasn’t sitting here with you. you're my one and only starlight.”

“your starlight?” he hesitantly said, his voice barely over a whisper..

a genuine smile stretches across your face, finally finding solace with the person who has been the light in your life since the day you met him, the hyuka who saved you.

“yes, my starlight.”

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