#|| hey brain wtf
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#aitsf#ai the somnium files#aini#nirvana initiative#kaname date#hitomi sagan#chip art#hey wtf is their ship name#hitodate#???#datomi#i hate my life#tags are aini spoilers pls look away#anyway can we think about dates reasons for putting on the mask#and what that meant for his mental state and relationships at the time#how he intentionally used the face of That Guy again and how that distanced him from his previous life#and on top of that he started avoiding hitomi#there is something rattling up there in my brain
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Aww! Baby's first war crime!!
Judy's joining the 'unethical use of speedster powers' list for phasing the brain out of a man's head.
#she just#took it#she just took the mans brain#i#jfc#how are they so fucking op and dangerous and yet also so fucking cheerful and wholesome at the same time#wtf#i love them all so much#Judy: *rips a mans brain out of his head*#also Judy: Hey!! 😄 Did i help the team?! is this helping??!? 😁✨😃#dc#dc comics#the flash#kid flash#the boom#judy garrick#flash fam#speedsters
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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I hate that loneliness makes me second guess every decision I have made in the past 6 months and makes me feel like everything would just be better if I went back into the arms of my abuser.
#I love my brain... but WTF#what the actual and absolute fuck#I get it's a#trauma bond#but yA GOTTA LET THIS SHIT GOOOOOO#when I was still in the relationship I KNEW hands down I would not get the emotional support I needed#so why is it now when I'm finally OUT my brain forgets this???? and is just like#“hey. go back to him. you'll find all the comfort you need there”#but I never did???????#brain... who's side are you really on
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😭😂
#had one of those hyper realistic dreams where it feels more real than irl and for once there was a blorbo of mine in it#and it was super chill me and a friend group (dont know these people but in this world we knew each other since hs) were going bar hopping#and blorbo was acting kinda weird since he changed his look up#friend pulled me to the side and said the dudes trying to impress me and thinks its not working thats why hes been mopey#my brain: wtf man?? no one has to do that to win points for me#anyway we get to a bar and blorbo goes to a different table since were a group of 15#and hes taking off his jacket and i whistle at him and hit him with a HEY!#he looks up kinda shocked and I gesture at his jacket and yell#IF YOU TAKE THAT DAMN THING OFF I'LL KILL YA#and throw him a big grin and wink#he just fucking blushes and grins while putting the coat back on like he won the lottery#like YAY THEY NOTICED ME!!!!!#and i get up and go sit with him and tell him i know he changed up to get my attention and that was dumb#and he's like why??#“man I'm simple just throw a bird mating call at me and I'm yours.”#fucking wake up right when he cracks the fuck up#dumb rant but damn it that was fun wholesome stuff i want to go back to that universe#other pink variant#non magenta post
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WHY THE FUCK IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS 🤦♂️😠
IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT.
#this is what tumblrs for right? screaming with no context. yeah?#*sighs*#WTF IS WRONG WITH ME#hey no. we calm. we very calm#we okay#just annoyed with my brain
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september is almost over and we don’t know the title of the new witcher book yet
#give me a premise or something otherwise im just going to keep thinking wtf could this new book possibly be about#my brain threw this out today: hey we never got to learn what really happened between triss and geralt and the timeline of that#and then i was like oh my god if that happens i think the fandom will explode and tear itself in two and no one will be sane#and everyone sane will be traumatized#the elbow-high diaries
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When i finally get an inkling of acceptance and pride in my sexuality, the Shame shows up again
#bc what do you mean i was fine and now i feel bad about the things i like#hey wtf#and like totally out of left field? nothing triggered it#my brain was just like “You're bad for liking that”#like whatever dude🙄
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i love how on staff cupdays sometimes the cats will just show up because why not hi ekky in a spanish restaurant how u doin babe
#girl ive missed you hi sign of life#but also admittedly a bit of a jumpscare girl wtf#hey girl heyyyy#my mind went blank and i went ekky :)#this man has been on my brain a little too often for my own good#but ekky :)
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Today I tried to say "Eminem's song, Venom" and I said "Veminem's song, Enom".
So how are you guys doing today?
#wtf do i tag here lmfaooo#enjoy my big brain moment#venom#eminem#personal post#hey but at least it's sunny here and the rain is gone
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My paranoia is like. Super bad lately (it's really bad today for some reason) and I haven't been checking notifications, asks, messages, etc as a result so pls just know I'm not ignoring anyone!! Just struggling with the mental illness stuff
#I've literally been sitting here worrying myself sick all day#instead of reacting to notifocations like Literally any normal person would I get like. really scared#my brain does this Cool™️ thing where it's like Hey everyone is secretly making fun of you and they hate you#so like every single notification O get (asks messages tags etc) I'm like Oh god what if they're telling me how much they hate me#or like What if they're making fun of me and think I'm crazy or stupid#I think the woest part of all of this is O literally cannot get help#the psychiatrist I was supposed to see will not get bqck with me about an appointment so idk what to do lol#basically I have no idea wtf is wrong with me and at this point idk if I ever will know lol#idk if this needs to be tagged as vent???#it's not really a vent it's more like me explaining what's going on
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oh worm I had another hc idea and completely forgot it asdfg
#; probably being slapped by a dog (ooc.)#hey brain ??? wtf???#i was thinkin bout...as chronic illness the kids the dorms????
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doing maths hw at 1 am cuz ive been procrastinating and i solved everything wrong then opened the calculator for 3 times 4 oml how am i gonna pass im so serious rn
#my brain is empty rn#i knew it wasnt 16 cuz rhats like 4 times 4 but#ill just finish this quickly so i can sleep#bro#im done#😭😭😭#and im using the phone s flash to see the paper#i cant even use it anymore tho cuz my phone s on 5 percent#but hey#tomorrow is a new day#🥰🥰#kisskiss#happy life#sunny#landscape#thurst day#and i lodt my pencase at school too#wowie mamas!!!!#wtf is a pencase i meant pencilcase goodbye#i need to sleep#iriurrgghhhh#im genuinely gonna pass out..........
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I don't know if it's my brain subconsciously going 'We're so fucking tired of your current obsession/coping mechanism, can we PLEASE MOVE ON ALREADY!?', but sometimes while I'm enjoying listening to/reading about/'researching' my current obsession/coping mechanism (usually a band, like right now - for the past year and a half), I'll have a moment every once and a while where I think about it, 'This is so fucking stupid, and it's so stupid that it makes you happy. You don't even talk to or engage with anyone about this so WHO FUCKING CARES?!' and I get really, really depressed for that moment. Even though I try to think critically about those thoughts to stop them from making me depressed, they usually do manage to make me hate my obsession or be ashamed of it for at least a day. And those are always rather dark days for me, because usually it's whatever I'm obsessed with that gives me at least an hour or two every day where I'm EXCITED to be alive to engage with it, and if I don't have that, then I'm not excited about anything, and therefore I don't think that day is worthwhile enough to exist through. So I don't know what to do about those thoughts beyond thinking critically about them [to stop them from dissuading me from my obsession], because even when I do, they still usually manage to 'win' for at least a little while.
#crystal visions of lilies in the valley#depression cw#P.S. if hyperfixation were to fit better I would say that but I don't have ADHD or autism (I don't think) so I feel like I can't use it.#so 'obsession' makes better sense to me. although I know obsessions can be unhealthy I usually use them as coping mechanisms#in a good way - even in a way that my past therapists have approved of - so I think the word choice is good enough. *shrug*#it's just so weird because it's like 'hey wtf why is my brain literally invalidating me so fucking hard right now!?'#and I don't know why but I do know that I wish I didn't have that experience at all. it's completely unhelpful in all fucking ways.
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if my friends are angry for missing school (which they are totally allowed to be cuz oh boy i’ve missed a lot) today they can be a little less cuz its kind of. cuz of them. kinda/hj/lh
#one of them texted me this morning and was. like “hey pls come to school otherwise i’ll jump off v block” which is a super tall building in#our school#like he was joking. but 1) no tone tags 2) what the fuck dude#and then that made me have a panic attack-well i think it was one? shaking and crying? idk? and now i feel like my brain is dead from the#cyring yaaaaay hrndndhmshsjs#like wtf that was a wild thing to say what#anyways#personal#delete later#probably#thoughts in the void#suicide mention#in the tags but still
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Now that I'm out of Act 2 for both durge and tav I want it to be known that the mindflayer colony was the bane of my existence and not because it was hard but because I can only take squishy brain/flesh/blood ambient sounds for so long
#the mindflayer colony is so miserable i hate it. every room is just like 'hey what's the worst thing you can imagine' it's that#i think talking to the disembodied brain of a child is what finally broke me. where i was just like 'good god wtf'#i know the point is to be repulsed by it but honestly i don't think the characters were repulsed ENOUGH by it#and then they expect me to side with a mindflayer like 20 minutes later. i will not be shamed for trying to kill the emperor on sight lol#anna plays bg3
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