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i knew it was going to be rough, but choosing to save minrathous over treviso as rook de riva is actually brutal
#veilguard spoilers#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#rook de riva#viago de riva#lucanis dellamorte#crazy that this is the ONE conversation aside from the end of the crow questline where viago actually expresses a positive opinion about u#and it's in the context of u having let him down (again) and let your city burn :')#he does rely on u. and u weren't there. god.#for the best i think that dinara would never actually do this bc she would not survive this conversation#solas would need to pull some S tier blood magic out of the bag and wipe this entire convo clean from her memory
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the way jolyne breaks so much convention as a jojo protagonist from not being introduced as an inherent badass and having to earn the right to be called that over the course of the story to her life being over from the moment that story begins while still not painting the events of it as a soul-crushing tragedy but rather a journey through which she reconciles and finds new meaning and purpose to herself as a person. i love jojo stone ocean i wish women were real
#soda offers you a can#never over my jolyne brainworms im afraid it's terminal#she is just. phenomenal in the context of jojo anyway. within the constraints of the medium that is a weekly shonen manga#while i do wonder what stone ocean could've been if executed in a more long-form way like the parts after it have been#and while the overall story would've benefited from the more generous pacing those parts have#it still grabs you in ways i don't think any other part does#then again i am judging manga against anime bc i read part6 and watched parts 1-4#(and read half of part5 i know i need to go back to it in some fashion at some point)#jjba
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im crying at this???????
#me when i know my crush is watching and i need to act like i moved on to make them jealous#also 'take it back'#does this mean that doggo is lando's ????#DONT SHOOT THE MESSANGER IM JUST THEORIZING BASING MYSELF ON THE GIVEN CONTEXT#lando norris#landino#formula 1#f1#fruity landino#what a little twink you are lando im genuinely always bewildered by your actions i love you so much please never change
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Im soooo weak to when Bond is like casually being used or exploited at his expense for some ostensible Greater Good except the situation doesn't HAVE to come to that, not really, and he's so inured and even numb to it that he barely pays it any mind; meanwhile, Q absolutely minds and is very indignant on his behalf and works overtime to like either try to avert or forestall the situation before it gets to the point where Bond has to dig his own claws into more of his soft underbelly to offer up on the sacrificial alter of politics of all tawdry things, or to manufacture a way in which he does the needless "needful" so as to spare Bond at least one unnecessary additional wound upon his psyche.
bonus if Bond finds out and maybe after being angry or indignant about it - I don't need you to do my job for me, Q, this is what I'm here to do - and either Q tells him/lets slip or he deduces that like, this isn't Q thinking he can't get the job done, this is Q finding him precious and worthy of protecting, and like. he's just very in awe of that and does in fact feel very safe and cherished within the cradle of his Quartermaster's regard
#00q#of like... yes it's constant surveillance. but also it's like. constantly having a companion & constantly having an all-seeing eye#looking out for you and reaching out to influence your life#I'd imagine it's very like religion (*puts a Bond thought bubble on this*)#it's the Take Me to Church-ism of it all#lmao I didn't start this off as a web-weaving but now I'm weaving it into a web#but yeah in this fic - looked it up it's Playing the Part - this other rando agent is like. is he in your ear rn? the Quartermaster?#and the guy is like. I don't know how you handle it‚ being under his watch all the time. I know he's supposed to be your guardian angel but#I hope I never come to his attention‚ I don't want him to care enough to know a thing about me.#and it's sooo so interesting in the context of Q and this like. pathological need for omniscience we often assign him#cuz yeah it COULD be very oppressive and overbearing#but like. I think it complements Bond's Ambiguous Disorders a lot bc it WOULD read to Bond as Caring#like so much of his life doesn't belong to himself anyway so a lot of the puppeting is old hat#but what a novelty to have someone who does it not because they want something from him or because of what he can do for them#but because they care so deeply about *him* as to want to do right by him and look out for his well-being#also sidebar'ing back but like there's a lot stupid about Business English but 'do the needful' is probably one of if not THE dumbest thing#I've ever heard or seen in my life. like. absolute epitome of garbage bullshit bureaucracy-speak nonsense and I know I'm getting into dicey#territory cuz despite whatever origin it may have had it's seen more today as an Indianism. but still like in and of itself it's such#a dumb phrase. and speaks to such a height of bureacracy & it's like. you don't have to say it like that. there are other words you can use#okay anyway. back to 00q#somehow I've brought this into 'blasphemy but make it sexy. as a treat' lmao but yeah... Q as Bond's wrathful & jealous God....#WAIT another web weaving. Ulysses when Bond is like. no not a guardian angel. Q is his patron deity his household god. mm yes *chefs kiss*
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also I know we've seen the Garashir scene floating around where Garak tries to convince Julian that the suit he's made- that has big ol revealing holes sewn in- would be good for a doctor to wear BECAUSE its so revealing. but I want to impress on everyone just how insane that scene actually is
it is directly implied that Garak made that very revealing, entirely silk suit specifically FOR Julian, and that he did so as a surprise gift, because Julian had absolutely no idea it existed
#star trek: ds9#the heart of the warrior#elim garak#julian bashir#otp: I need to know that someone forgives me#I feel like this is very important context to that scene#cause out of context its already wild but the context of why that suit exists in the first place is CRAZY#Garak very much made a slutty revealing suit just for Julian#and then later Garak does a favour for Julian and makes it clear he expects Julian to wear the goddamn suit as his repayment#let me be clear: GARAK EXPECTS JULIAN TO DRESS SLUTTY FOR HIM AS REPAYMENT FOR A FAVOUR#absolutely fucking insane#these two never quit in any medium they appear in
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No matter what happens you can ALWAYS doodle ur sona interacting with your blorbo 🔥🦋 it's always correct and admirable ^_^
#TRILLION CLUB ATTACK#ive never ever drawn synth in a serious context everr :3#ANYWYAYS this is how i feel about this guy forever.. what a FASCINATING and PECULIAR BUG!! i need to hit him with hammers.#look upon my bug :3 and disparage#otto octavius#elliot tolliver#superior spider-man#superior spider man#superior spiderman#UGHH HATE THIS GUY hes so intriguing...#isa's art#synth-spinner#spidersona#imagining a beautiful world where superior falls into my spidersonas world bloody and beaten and all synth does is bully him evil style#also cuz synth's doc ock is an antivillain and she allies with him occasionally shes already so used to being annoying to ocks so .#annoying torment GO
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#i dont think this needs context#and its so vague I can tag a bunch of stuff because oh my irene have I been hurt by many mediocre Minecraft roleplays#aphblr#minecraft diaries#mystreet#my inner demons#dsmp#what was the fuckin#yandere high roleplay#does anyone know what Im talking about#anyways uhh this is the part where I pause tagging to see if anyone else has even talked about some of the ones I want to list#skydoesminecraft#yeah their roleplays fucked me up big time#samgladiator#i found it :3#minecraft roleplay#if it wasn't obvious I think this screenie is very funny and applicable to a lot so feel free to tag your own series here#there were a lot of these#i could make an argument for iHasCupquake's Oasis series counting sort of#and also being what jesson wanted but never got but the world isn't ready for that#my screenshots
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unfortunately at a point where I just don't trust anyone's opinions on frank/hazel or frazel or their dynamic with percy anymore. a lot of u guys have not read son of neptune in 5 years and it shows sorry 😔🙏
#it's like the only thing people retain about that book is that percy remembered annabeth and hazel thought he was a god at first#and honestly whatever that's fine but the misinformation and lack of context is what gets me#like posts about how frank and hazel never swear (both of them swear multiple times. leo was wrong in that one quote)#I've ranted about this before but my god the son trio suffers so much for having percy in it#it's not that I don't love percy but rick really set frank and hazel up to fail/he needed to overcompensate by fleshing their dynamic out#more over the rest of the books. why does frank have 24 povs and percy has 50#they have such a different experience from the lost trio who get to exist more independently of a preexisting popular character and more#was spent on their trio dynamic than frank/hazel/percy throughout hoo#that said it's very apparent that in son (not so much in other books) it's evident that the three of them care a lot about each other#and they should have gotten to be just as much of a lasting trio as jason/piper/leo 😔 but rick hates frank LOL#there's something allllllmost interesting about giving the shapeshifter character a new body (blessing of mars) but rick made it so boring#(and fatphobic)#anyways tlh and son are the best books hoo I reread all pjo books yearly and that opinion never changes#baye.txt#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson#frank zhang#hazel levesque#the son of neptune
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I have been trying ever since I first watched rwby to picture canon Tauradonna. The dates they'd go on, the hobbies they'd share, what intimacies they'd indulge
And I can't
There's just no romantic chemistry between them no matter how many "my darlings" the writers throw in last minute. While each character have qualities that make them attractive, there's nothing that truly shows why or how they're attracted to each other
Hell, the only answer the comics can give for why Blake was into Adam was the "I can fix him" mentality, which. Gross, but that's still more than anything we get for why Adam likes Blake. Maybe they both like sushi? She just fights real good? Who knows, man
As individuals, I can gleam an idea of the kind of lovers they'd be, but together? Does not compute
#rwde#doesnt help that adam simply Does Not Exist outside of either the white fang or blake#or that neither ever talk abt their past together. blake straight up never says what she did in the fang that she needs to atone for#shawluna why are you so allergic to details? give me the damn context!#anyway adam majors in acts of service while blake majors in quality time#i can only imagine them in a familial dynamic and i wish society would value chosen bonds just as much as romantic#i love the idea of blake reading to Adam during their down time and her copy of ninjas of love was a gift from him-#-bc he couldn't read that it was an erotica. he just saw ninjas on the cover and thought she'd like it#i think theyd also be big into practical gifts. horn oil and burn creams for him. art supplies and backup ribbons for her. things like that#*biting at the bars of my enclosure* WHY WASNT ADAM A REAL CHARACTER GIVE ME THE EMOTIONAL DRAMA I CRAVE SHAWLUNA#MESSY RELATIONSHIPS IN MESSIER SITUATIONS ARE MY JAM
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i'm getting towards the end of the skypeia arc, & i'd like to say just how much i adore the way the female strawhats have been treated.
just... every aspect of how the way their characters have been previously contextualized influences the story-line is treated with a masterful amount of consideration. we're given so many layers to both of them that enrich not only their characters specifically, but the arc, and the one piece world as a whole. without nami & robin having their specific skills, and their specific values, without those being built upon, the story would have come to a halt.
you could not have skypeia without nami & robin being who they are as individuals. not just because they never would've gotten there without nami, but also because the way these women think is itself foundational to the machinations of the arc as a whole.
to be totally upfront, if you think any other strawhats were more central to the skypeia arc than nami & robin were you are full-on fucking lying to yourself.
#obligatory disclaimer that i’m aware luffy is the protagonist & a lot of interesting stuff is explored w him. this isn’t abt him though.#part of me wonders if this is an aspect of why people will write off this arc sometimes tbh... like that & the political themes.#but yeah anyway i get why people say that for all there are 100% misogynistic tendencies in oda's writing & character design#it is very very hard to say that he as an individual is an ideological misogynist. like the level of care he puts into his female cast mem#-ers generally speaking & how he approaches what existing as a multi-dimensional individual would look like in their specific contexts is#like... in a lot of ways still something that is unprecedented across all forms of media.#but also not the point but anyone who says nami in particular doesnt get real fights/is unskilled um... no you're wrong read her fight in#alabasta & then all of skypeia.#like in alabasta she takes on arguably a stronger opponent than sanji when considering the structuring of BW. not only that but she does s#with a weapon she has never used before while actively reading the instruction manual. and she WINS. she wins based on sheer intellect &#the ability to utilize skills the audience already knows she has. the pre-existing basic fighting skills she's introduced with are elabora#-ed upon by incorporating her skill w navigation. same with the way her cunning is used in skypeia to cover her lack of sheer brute. &#the best part about it is she's fucking tough in a way that makes sense! she isn't strong/weak just for the sake of positioning her as such#it is thoughtful & it strengthens her as a character rather than just like giving the power-scaler types smth to mindlessly chew on.#like do i wish nami got to fight more & take a more active role in that regard even if i don't think she needs to be a fighter in the same#sense as the monster trio? yes absolutely. i'm guessing this is going to be smth that bothers me potentially even more with robin.#but that does not mean her fights are not masterfully written when she gets them or that she isn't tough as a bag of nails.#respect my darling woman or die.#skypeia#nico robin#nami#grey's one piece tag
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dust and horror angel and demon themes,,,, they could totally parallel each other...... :3
dust=angel of death described in the delta rune prophecy (self declared) (i DEFINITELY elaborated on this one waayyyy before but anyways dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME SAVE ME.... death is a blessing ass guy. life is torment and he will be the one to liberate monsters from their bodies and with the strength they provide to him be able to take down evil evil creation of pure misery that is the human ✨✨✨ dont worry his evil cackles are to HIDE HIS PAIN of saving everyone....... trust)
horror=demon that dragged everyone in horrortale into hell (as perceived by everyone else) (i think it would be a cool hc if everyone outside of snowdin viewed horror as literally a demon. maybe undyne preaches that. anyone outside of snowdin might be WAYYY worse because they starve for longer and literally take part in cannibalism so they might not have the same sort of mild sanity that snowdin residents do,,,, besides he DID kinda bring them all eternal suffering. kinda. nobody but undyne knows what happened at the core so she could totally just paint the story to blame horror fully)
ANYWAYS i like the possible dynamics this could have :333
dust to horror (please let me kill you PLEASE let me kill you i can end it all so peacefully wouldn't it be nice??? i promise ill make it quick just for you),,, horror to dust (i want you to live and suffer with what youve done i want you to watch all of your choices hit you one day and i'll be there and laugh at you. i'll keep you alive just to keep you suffering ok?)
OR dust to horror (you dont deserve to die you dont deserve to even be hurt by me. not because youre the exception but youre the Exception i absolutely loathe you so youll never get the sweet release of death :3) and horror to dust (just let me die already i dont wanna be here. youre supposed to be a savior right??? an angel?? then why don't you save me already when i need it more than anyone else)
#SHITS THIS OUT BECAUSE I NEED TO GET RID OF IT. my evil doppelganger will adore this post i've already shown them#this is definitely a bit of an exaggeration of their characters in my eyes but i love it :333#i dont think that dust is THIS deluded in my eyes and i dont think horror is this cynical. even tho theyre both still these traits#i came up with this idea while writing my mtt meets eachother fic :3#you can probably totally guess where i made the connection. thank you horrortale undyne for this one single thing#anyways i dont know how to shove killer into this LMAO. i was thinking like.... angel and demon on your shoulder to swap choices#but but triglycercule doesnt killer already have that with his stages??? well YES but both can be true at the same time :333#idk i dont have enough brain juices for this rn. so you get this half assed explanation 😭😭‼️‼️‼️#dust: we should kill this person. totally because they need to be freed and not because they piss me off#horror: no we should keep them alive but torment them so they never get the sweet release of death and suffer#and thanks to killer THEY CAN DO BOTH!!! YAAAAY!!!!! the powers of determination are awesome man (smug tiktok emoji)#dust is sounding awfully similar to a certain killer au of mine i made..... swapinverse rearing its ugly head once again smh#idk if this is more of a symbolic thing or LITERALLY angel dust and demon horror#because i like both ideas........ imagine an actual angel dust and demon horror going around with killer doing the little dialogue i said#what would killer be in this??? he's not a mortal or a human as would be per usual when describing whats between an angel or demon#killer as a god lmao..... noooo noooooo..... maybe just something akin to one. i meaaan technically-#someone who's more into religious theming would probably eat this idea but i cant be bothered uaghhhh#if i say anything about killer i will get shot. but i can tank a couple bullets. killer does have the ability to let both dust and horror#fufill their own ideologies. and also i am a big fat SUCKER for killer keeping horror and dust 'in line' IDC if its a bad sanses concept#i love it and therefore it's now mine to use in an only mtt context. otherworldly beings trio ‼️‼️ aghhhhh#i have like 89 drafts if the drafts reach 100 by the end of the year i think i'd DIE. so this is getting posted idc#you wont see me using literal angel and demon dust and horror. but if you look in my mind you'll see the themes regularly in what i talk ab#anyways back to writing this stupid fic i go. dust is currently battling several inner demons rn. good luck loser :3#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#tricule hc
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hey you ever think about how okuyasu probably had to see (if not help) his brother try over and over to like maim and dismember their father in an attempt to euthanize him, something that clearly hurts and distresses the guy despite his immortality?
do you ever think about how the boys were beaten "for no reason" (existing around their father) and then when their father turns keicho says that if he beats his dad enough he can be obedient but he never stops scratching around in that box and it makes him murderously angry. and then it turns out that their father's been trying to scrape together some reminder of the family they used to be this whole time. he's doing something innocuous and mildly obtrusive that pisses keicho off so much despite the fact that he would understand if he just looked a little closer, at a different angle, that it was his father seeking love and connection in the same way he was as a child, and that he is reacting in the same way his father did to it?
or how okuyasu (who was young enough to not Quite remember the abuse in the same way as keicho) was the one to want to shift gears towards curing him over killing him, to restore his memories and mind so they could heal their relationships - break the cycle? how you might think it's his distance from that contributes to his ability to want that in a way keicho can't, until keicho dies and okuyasu still chooses to focus on the scraps of good within their relationship (while acknowledging that keicho was Not a good person) despite how directly he experienced abuse from keicho? and how that speaks so much to okuyasu's deep sense of loyalty and love (even to his own detriment)?
or how it's josuke (with the power to heal, to fix, that kind power) who is able to start those relationships mending through his emotional curiosity and empathy? and how it's josuke okuyasu clings to in the wake of his brother's death? someone so different from the men he grew up with who only ever hurt each other because they were hurt and someone who proves that kindness and love are like. sustainable? how josuke didn't change him into being a loving person but finally answered it to form a healthy relationship? buh
#i have. never really analyzed jjba before#i don't know why but something about it makes the deeper stuff just bounce right off my brain for some reason#however! i have noticed this. do with it what you will etc#as if i needed a reason to be emo about okuyasu tbh#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#diu#nijimura okuyasu#nijimura keicho#fucking. papa nijimura. idk his name#btw i'm not saying okuyasu is a good person for like. loving his abusers. that's a morally neutral phenomenon#and i think that's clear in context. it's both because he's got a big ol heart and because he (even when he knows he probably shouldn't)#clings to people who are awful to him out of loyalty and loneliness and love and naivete. he wants to believe it means something#he does it because he's traumatized and it's all he knows AND because he's a sweetheart. it's both. and god that's like really cool to me#idk that i've really seen that pulled off so efficiently before#higashikata josuke#anyway what if i!!!!! exploded#sorry if this reads like ass im not even gonna look at it. im flushing it into the void immediately tyvm#and after all that okuyasu's like omg your mom's hot lol!! :D love you buddy!!!! like he's so funny to me
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stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir
(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)
But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?
so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me
in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone
and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age
but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind
and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind
(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)
"I just see this place as my home"
so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3
#arknights#asto speaks#not much of an essay writer i just keep thinking about them and i need to force other people to think about them too#thorns story fucks me up bc like. this whole almost found family adjacent idea of like#maybe home isnt something decided by your birth but something you can chose based on what truly matters to you#it just gets to me. i guess.#jordi gets to me in a completely different direction there's nothing personal about it i just find his story *fascinating*#just a guy. a completely normal guy. an absolute nobody caught up in these dreams of greatness while also fully aware of his own normalcy#but never letting either of those overshadow the other. never losing that self awareness or that fuckin obsessive determination#god. what a Character#i love jordi so much like genuinely#i joke a lot about him being just a Guy but thats also kinda like the best thing about him#the fact that he is the way that he is and does all the things he does despite being just a Guy#gently holds#for context i was so hyped about new iberia lore when sn was announced i read the whole thing as soon as it dropped on cn server#cuz someone uploaded all the story sections to bilibili right after it came out#and '我只是把这里当作自己的故乡啊' fucking hit me SO HARD#in like the greater context of elysium demanding to know why hes risking his life in like 5 different ways to return to gran faro#because yeah jordi just doesnt want to leave his home but like we the audience knows the full *weight* of what that home means to him#and the weight of the dreams that made him chose to see Gran Faro as his home and to refuse to let go of that#thats why i like the original a lot more than the translation i think like it really emphasises that active *choice*.#this is the place jordi has *decided* to see as his home and he knows what that means and what it means to him#side note the part on thorns might not actually age well depending on whether hg decides to ever release more aulus lore#i mean i'll gladly take the L if it means more aulus and/or thorns lore like#i just wanna know what (if anything) is tying him to iberia yknow#ak#iberiaposting
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#queen maeve#the boys#dominique mcelligot#she's never done anything wrong in her life#ever#look at that face#does she look like a war criminal to you?#anyway sorry#but i was giffing something else yesterday and i really needed to gif these cute expressions#she barely smiles on the show as it is#doesn't have a reason to lol#and yes most of these aren't geuine smiles anyway but shhh what is context#third self indulgent gifset#probably last one but i needed it#my gifs
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related to my lrb but i said it like three posts ago. people on here looove to treat spn gifset excerpts as inherently severed from its context. the conversation i just rbed literally includes dean relating this couple's dynamic to his and sam's... but the gifset excerpt doesn't include dean's line about it and so half of the notes somehow made it about dstiel (and extended it to samleen of course)
#this fandom is SO WEIRD!!!!!! ive never seen anything like this#the fandom itself and the way it interacts with art made from the show#has literally stretched itself to fit the way dstiel fans interpret their ship#they need to sever immediate contexts within the way they interact with fan content to omit certain aspects and claim reference to others#and now the whole fandom does this when they interact w gifsets#people do it too re: woobifying dean. i said this in the tags on a rb about 4.19#but the part of sam and dean's conversation about adam's potential always cuts out dean's hypocrisy#about the way dean treats sam goung to school vs how he's relating adam to his own schooling#the idea that the last scene in 1.14 is Actually About dean being hit by john while sam wasn't comes from this severing of context as well#the episode is about sam's relationship with john and how his monstrosity plays into his relationship with john#and his budding guilt complex about it with a side of the way his monstrosity hinders his idea or normalcy...#it's the same thing for 9.07!!! the malnourished‚ perfect parent dean discourse never acknowledges the fact that#he gambled the money away when really it would be more interesting to analyse the fact that he was a kid and kids are irresponsible#and shouldn't have been given that responsibility in the first place#his losing of the money did not warrant that punishment because it was an inherently impossible circumstance#but it's the same severance of context!!!#whatever lol#ludere
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Pax should have said no.
Damn it all, they should have said no. Should have said go to hell and fucked off back – stop contacting me, sort out your own shit – but they didn’t, fuck knows why, and now they’re stuck here.
(They know why. They know exactly why; absolutely anything would be better than fucking off back to Cyrodiil. What’s for them there?)
But there’s nothing worth staying for here either, and now she’s crammed in between strangers on a long table, everyone dressed in fabrics she’s never seen with dyes so saturated they seem almost gory, eating stuff that isn’t food and talking loud enough to make her want to hurl a glass into the wall. It’s bizarre. The woman next to her, ruddy-faced and bald, wears a headpiece that shines like the sun the Isles doesn’t have; the other side is taken up by a stranger in a bone-white porcelain mask who has not moved but to swill the wine around in their glass. There’s scarcely room for Pax’s chair. It all feels like such a baffling pantomime of aristocracy (she's known the real thing well enough – feasts and toasts and luxurious gifts she had no use for, and if she doesn’t stop thinking about it she actually will throw a glass), bright colours and rich settings and a god taking offerings at the head of the table.
At least, Pax thinks, no-one tries to talk to him; they’re too busy fawning over their lord. Which is probably to be expected; but it all feels so strange, so unsettling, the way they all lean in towards it like flowers turning to face the sun, like seaweed dragged at by the inescapable pull of the tides. They grow towards it through the cracks in the air, matter moving toward the inevitable centre, as if they can imagine nothing more than this.
(Even more unsettling is the way it responds in kind, listening attentively to anyone who speaks to it, leaning in as though to kiss them, as though to swallow them whole. All hell, why did Pax agree to this? Why did they come?)
(They should have told it to fuck off. Should have said no way, I don’t want to help you, don’t want to get involved in anything you’d need my help for. I don’t owe you anything. I don’t need anything from you. I don’t want anything to do with you. I’m done.)
(Pax is done. Pax is sick to death of all this shit; doesn’t want to deal with this, the vaguely described problems of a god that picks people apart like it’s unravelling a thick yarn shawl. Doesn’t want to deal with anything like this. He’s had his fill of gods.)
(Why is he still fucking here? Why did he agree to this? This is no better than eating in that weird fucking inn in town. This is no better than –)
(That’s a lie. It’s a bit better than Cyrodiil. Just as much a shithole, but it pulls the rug out from under him often enough that he doesn’t have time to think too much.)
“Not hungry?” says a prowling voice, coiling catlike into the plaits in their hair, and Pax jumps enough to jostle the masked bastard sitting ramrod straight next to him.
He looks up.
At the empty placemat across from him sits a figure veiled in gossamer, glittering in the glow of the lit-up lichen on the distant throne; the fabric of its endless shawls pulls apart at the ends, peeling away from itself, shedding patches like iridescent insect wings every time it shifts. If Pax squints, they can see through it to the grand marbled wall behind.
She glances back at the chair at the head of the table, where something lounges, eyes dripping gold, intricately carved cane laid across its knees; its too-many fingers are laced with the hand of a man whose gown blooms floral. Flatly, she says, “What the fuck?”
“Aren’t you hungry?” Sheogorath asks, pouting; she can hear it laughing down the other end of the table. “It’s a proper feast. We pulled out all the stops.”
Pax shifts their eyes away to peer down at their plate. “You have served me worms,” she says. She flicks the dish with a fingernail. “In jelly. With flowers.”
“Larva, actually,” Sheogorath replies. It’s still at the other end of the table. It doesn’t seem eager to explain this. When it smiles, the gossamer falls away; its whole face splits in half.
It’s all so fucking stupid. Pax takes a deep breath – in through the nose, ignore all the odd spiced smells, and out – and does not yell at it, or try to hit it, because she’s gotten herself into a situation where that’s not really an option, because she’s a fucking idiot. Why didn’t she just say no?
(She knows why.)
The Mad God’s teeth flash bright as the ornate silver cutlery. Its chair scrapes back from the table. “It melts in your mouth,” it tells her, eyes glittering, “but I won’t make you try it. Walk with me?”
The figure still sits at the head of the table, snatching something from someone’s plate, always, always laughing. Its limbs sprawl like tentacles, like the silken threads of a tapestry, to encompass the whole room. The dinner guests stare as though bewitched, bedevilled, beguiled. Not one of them is looking at Pax. If he were to drop dead with his face in the food his corpse would not be discovered until sunrise.
Pax sniffs and shoves his chair back from the table. He lets Sheogorath (the second Sheogorath – but it must be, what else could it be?) lead him through a narrow door into some winding hallway, the walls lined and rimed with ornate coloured-glass windows. (It’s so much quieter. Still as garishly bright, but Pax is getting the sense that that is inescapable, here; the clothes they wear, as crumpled and covered in travelling-grime as ever and startlingly out of place against the odd jagged finery of the dinner party, seem unimaginably dull in comparison. Everything seems unimaginably dull in comparison.) Outside the windows, they can catch glimpses of the city – its winding, lamp-lit streets, the jumbled mess of its architecture, the sky arcing above it like a child’s attempt at watercolours. Pax wants to smash it, tear it down.
There’s no sun here, but still it’s night. The sky has shifted to purple and black.
“Isn’t it nice?” says their companion; when they look back, it’s nothing more than a shifting impression in the stained-glass window, a series of hairline cracks. It still manages, somehow, to smile at them.
It’s not. The sky is a shadow and the flamboyance of the palace is scraping at their spine. “Sure,” Pax says flatly. When she flexes her fingers, the bruising staining the base knuckle of her thumb aches.
Sheogorath looks at her – an ancient man leaning on a stick, a flickering painting, a bloody corpse, a little girl in velvet-red skirts, a breath. In its mercurial shifting she catches the flowery blossom of the man at the table’s collar, an unpleasant glimpse of her own braided hair, the smell of sulphur. It tips its head. She can’t focus on it anywhere but for the eyes.
“You don’t like my dinner parties,” it announces, as though it’s a revelation, a tragedy; its body crumbles like sea cliffs slowly eroded by the ways. It’s annoying – bloody obnoxious, and incomprehensible, and kind of weird that it noticed, that it would even care. (She’s never liked dinner parties. Nobody ever commented on it before.)
I’ve had well enough of them, Pax could say, or no, I don’t like you, but it’s the fucking Mad God, Daedric Prince of – Pax doesn’t even know what, he’s never known much about this shit, only that it’s well worth avoiding. Prince of the mad and the missing and the foolish, of breaking and breaking and putting yourself back together backwards. She should have said no, but she didn’t, and who knows what would happen if she went back on that now?
It's slinking closer. All that stay static enough to make out are eyes and teeth.
“Pax, yes?” it says, soft-voiced – a hand lands on his arm, small and dry and shivering, the skin as thing as a mouldering leaf. “You have no obligations here. If you want to be on your own, be on your own. We’ve plenty of space for it.”
Pax’s eyes narrow. He does not jerk away from it.
In the light of the coloured sky, the coloured windows, its face is phantasmagorical. “If you don’t want to be here,” it continues – still so skin-pricklingly gentle – “then your hand will not be forced. I’ll speed your way home if you wish.”
They can’t help but twitch at that. It’s setting their teeth on edge. (It’s lying – has to be. After its ages of coaxing them in, meting out information, not telling them where they were until they were on its doorstep, it would not give them the chance to leave.) Rough, still covered in road-grime, Pax asks, “Why should I believe you?”
(None of them have ever given them the chance to leave.)
Sheogorath, a figure of hollow skin and bone, inclines its head. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Pax,” it says. Its eyes are wide and bulging, whites on full display like a frightened horse; it grins again. “Others might. But we’re not a monolith. We’re not even especially similar.”
Pax bites down on the flat edge of their tongue. “That doesn’t mean anything to me.”
The light coming in through the windows flickers. The Mad God turns to meet it.
“I’m the youngest,” it says, its voice glittering like mist on the air. “Did you know that? I don’t remember the world without you in it.” Its form spasms, volatile, wings and limbs and eyes like a snail’s on stalks sprouting and choking and subsiding back into its mass. “I’m closer to you than any. I understand, almost.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Pax repeats. She’s gritting her teeth, tonguing at her gums where two are missing. Are two devil-gods not enough to deal with for a lifetime? Is there really going to be more of this now, too?
Rolling through the air like smoke, the voice says, “It will.”
Pax presses purple-green knuckles to her mouth. Her teeth dig into the soft meat of her lip.
Sheogorath turns to face her, hair moving as though blown by the wind, as though tugged by the tides. It sighs. “You don’t believe me,” it says. Its tongue pokes through its teeth. “That’s perfectly fine. Clever, even. But if you want to leave, all you need to do is tell me so.” It pauses, then; the train of its strange, gnarled crown shifts over its shoulders when it moves its head. “Or just leave. The door is still open.”
“You’d be fine with me just leaving,” Pax rasps around his knuckle, “after weeks of not leaving me alone?”
(Of begging him to come, poorly-hidden agitation giving way to blatant franticness, half-swallowing the fear that choked its face in every mirror it spoke to him through. Of begging him still, after he got here, after he met it – begging in a roundabout manner, casual as anything, its every motion reeking of fear. Its abject terror when he turned to leave. You’ve come this far. Why not hear an old man out? Pax told it that it wasn’t an old man, that he didn’t give a shit either way, and it slid through a child, a monster, a sulphur-burned body coughing blood, his own shuddering form in armour he hasn’t seen in months, and it said please.)
(Regained its composure, its gentleman’s face, immediately afterward. But it – the Mad God, unknowable, inconsolable – said please. Pax still doesn’t know what to do with that.)
The Mad God, now, shrugs. Taps at the hairline cracks in the stained glass windows. “I’d prefer you didn’t,” it says, one pair of hands braiding something intricate into its beard. The hand on the glass slips down. “I told you. I do need a champion.”
“And I told you,” Pax bites, something aching and ugly surging in their gut, “not to call me that again.”
A smile, bloody-mouthed and beaming. “But we will abide,” says Sheogorath, and digs its fingers into the cracks of the stone. One brick slides loose, mortar dug up under its nails. It offers it up.
Pax licks their teeth and takes it.
The brick shivers, momentarily – crumbles, in their hand, like sand slithering through their fingers, and left in their palm is a hardy slip of bone. Spiked and sprawling, carved with intricate patterns; it arranges itself around an oval of empty space, the perfect size for four sharp-knuckled fingers.
“You can always leave,” the Mad God tells them, and for a moment it does look so very young and strangely, staggeringly hopeful. “But give it a chance. I think you could love the Isles, if you choose to.”
#for context - in my version of events sheogorath's recruitment of the HoK is a lot more active#it needs someone who can fulfill the metaphysical niche of the hero. it needs someone experienced enough that they might not even die tryin#and it needs someone desperate enough to take the deal#pax is fifteen years old has alienated everything that maybe could have been a support system and is grieving very badly.#perfect mantling material!!#so sheogorath pursued them very specifically and was very judicious about what they revealed when. which is why pax already has some kind o#relationship with it here - they've interacted before - in that for weeks pax's reflection has been constantly begging them to 'visit'#writing the interactions of these guys is a lot of fun because there is always so much sheogorath is keeping from pax. it is#extremely strategic in how it presents itself#and pax falls for it hook line and sinker. though we can't really blame them#it's hard to outsmart something that's in your head#and at this point pax is pretty much made up of their worst impulses#which sheogorath cannot and does not help with#see: this piece#“I would NEVER make you do something you don't want to do <3 if you'd like to go back to your miserable self-destructive hellscape that's#YOUR CHOICE. but wouldn't it be more fun to be regular destructive here... i made you brass knuckles... 🥺“#im obsessed with them#the elder scrolls#tesblr#tes#my writing#fay writes#oc tag#pax#oblivion#shivering isles#the shivering isles
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