#|| a thousand stories yet to be told || { blog list }

[raphaelapproves]

Alright! This weekend, when not running errands and having to Adult, I mostly worked on getting my catch-all multi set up.

As it stands now, my current blog list in regards to BG3 is:

@darkeningdawn [ OC daughter of Lathander, Dawn // side ]

@dirgeforthedead [ Canon Divergent Dark Urge, Dirge // main ]

@immenselytalented [ Rolan // side; still under construction ]

@lionofthealliance [ King Varian Wrynn // main; World of Warcraft muse but has BG3 verse ]

@morethandarkness [ multimuse for OC & canon drow // main ]

@neveraguardian [ Khadgar // side; still under construction, World of Warcraft muse but will have BG3 verse ]

@stalwartprotector [ Halsin // main; currently on hiatus ]

@thefaithbroken [ Zevlor // side ]

@thishouseofhope [ Raphael with other NPCs // main ]

@whotellsthestories [ multimuse for canon, alternate, adapted, and OC characters set in Baldur's Gate; side ]

[ I am also still working on finishing up my tiefling multi, but have not yet done so ]

With this newest addition of whotellsthestories, you can find canon muses such as Rugan, Klaus, Tumeril, and Geraldus. You can also find an alternate take on the Dream Guardian that basically runs from the premise of: what if the canon plot twist didn't happen?

You can find muses adapted from Tolkien, RAID, Ever Legion, Path to Nowhere, World of Warcraft, Overwatch, Marvel, and other sources such as mythology.

You can also find quite a few original muses, some fandomless from the start and some OCs that were originally meant for one of the fandoms listed above and have now been adapted into Baldur's Gate III.

[kit-williams]

Chaos Tulio: Superbeast

This is a Loyalty swap for Tulio. Not based off of any fan heresies a lot more work goes into those and I'm not willing to build from the ground up an alternate Horus Heresy. However all of the boys (Except Tyberos and other actual 40k characters) will be getting a Loyalty swap. There will also be a "Falling to Chaos" version for the Loyalists and (tentatively) a "Rising to Redemption" for the Traitors.

Also Psychi in this story has descriptions due to the more... graphic nature of this one to lessen any ick someone might feel about a reader insert

Word count: 3542

Tag List @bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts

@liar-anubiass-blog @thevoidscreams @barn-anon @sculptorofcrimson

Thank you to @squishyowl for the dividers

tw: sex ahoy, dubious consent, will also tag as noncon as well, yandere, Tulio is his own warning

Readers Discretion is Advised

The traitor realm of Ultramar was the largest holding of traitors outside of the eye of terror. Controlled by the fallen Primarch Robute Guilliman; it fell overnight following the charismatic leader that was the primarch of the 13th legion. The realm was a beautiful hell... a hell where they knew exactly how much worth you had in you the moment you were brought into their clutches. For a thing of Chaos... even the Chaos was calculated and planned for... for the Primarch hated surprises.

Tyranids were a surprise that the Lord of Ultramar despised and thus he dedicated several thousand of his sons to dealing with it and the profane rituals to insure that they could protect the realm of Ultramar. Profane rituals blessed these sons of Ultramar as to defeat their seemingly endless xenos foe... they chose to become like their foes. To become the beasts.

Lieutenant Tulio Sydo had secured a large victory for his Primarch, at the cost of thousands of his men, a few warp drives, and his fellow Lieutenant... the Hive Fleet barreling towards Macragge was no more... the splinters of the hive fleet would be hunted down but for now he was told to recuperate... to relax... to partake in revelry... as his worship of the four was far too lopsided according to the chaplain... the youngest deserved his worship.

The room smelt of sweat and sex as concubines bodies moved against mutated flesh. The four armed and eight eyed Lieutenant was watching the depravity... they couldn't be too rough given theses were the modified concubines... surely someone's seed would take. His lounged as his digigrade legs were spread open, his cheek rested on one of his hands, another held a goblet of wine, a third resting near a weapon, and his fourth hand laced through the blonde hair of his once favorite concubine as she took his cock in her mouth. He was fused to his armor in certain locations... his thighs, the tops of his hands and arms, and from the nose up was now twisted with a large singular horn coming from his forehead.

He could smell her... his black tongue lazily swiped over his needle like teeth. His eyes closer to the back of his head could watch her... his Psychoula. Comparing her to the concubines they looked far prettier... healthier... with a glow to their skin. His eyes darted to the symbol of the Prince on his former favorite's tongue just working her best to please him. Psychi feared him... he could see it in the way tears gathered in the corners of her eyes... those plain brown things. How thin her dirty brown hair was but oh what a rich chocolate brown it could be when cleaned. He had the pleasure of seeing her look good once... once again when his favorite was failing to make him feel alive.

Slaanesh wasn't his favorite of the four... Khorne was his main patron and it was hard to drag him back to the center of worship that being so high up in his father's good graces required. So Tulio had to... excessively indulge in Slaanesh to balance out his souls humors. Yet this... neglected looking thing drove him to feel such licentiousness desires. His eyes, the ones that could see her, focused on her as he churned his hips. Hand gripping the hair tighter as he closed those still green eyes of his just picturing those sad looking brown ones looking up at him.

He grew to dislike his erstwhile concubine when she had caught sight of her, of course ignorant of his interest in the feeble little thing, and simply upturned her nose to the poor little thing. But, her mouth was a good replacement until he could get those pale lips to wrap around his own cock one day soon. Oh yes orgy first then rewards for his men as they had all chosen their desired pitiful creature to have as theirs and theirs alone and he could tell they all were watching, or trying to not watch, nervously. He sees her tense as he catches her eyes dart over and notice how he looks at her and what is going on between his legs. Tulio can't help but grin as he lets out a groan letting the whore between his legs drink it up.

"Brother Cyrus." Tulio started as he was being cleaned off. His second also appeared to be boredly watching the festivities but really Tulio knew his eyes were focused on some one armed black haired waif. Such a tiny looking frail thing... Tulio might have been tempted to lust over such a cute looking thing but his Psychi caught his eyes first.

"Yes Lieutenant?" He replied with a bored sigh.

"You want a go at this?" He gestures to the concubine in his lap who looks at him confused. Cyrus looked over clearly uninterested before Tulio purred out, "Might make sure you don't... break your little waif... if you get some of that eager passion out. Whole point of this orgy really... don't need any of my closest men sobbing about breaking their new toy."

They ignored the concubine trying to get an answer to beg for her master's affection and Tulio could have ignored her but he looked down at her boredly, "You were always on loan to me my dear. I just tend to get possessive of my things." He says grabbing her chin and pushing her lips together, "However, I'm about to get a tight new toy..." He says before brother Cyrus grabs her and drags her into a side room.

The wine ran down his throat so smoothly cleaning away the acidic feeling from gorging himself earlier. He looked at the empty goblet holding it to the side and just gently rolling his hand as he watched his timid little Psychoula come over to fill the glass. Her cheeks flushed from the debased acts and the pleasured moans... perhaps glances from the women to entice them to join in and enjoy.

"What do think about this my dear?" He trilled to her watching confusion crawl across her pretty face slowly like a body divided below the waist... refusing to die and dragging it out like intestines across the ground.

He watched her mouth open slightly a few time as her eyes darted around trying hard to look away but knowing that she had to maintain eye contact with him. "I... I... its... it's not exactly... my first choice?" She tried her best not to stutter and if it was anyone else he would be offended at the lack of respect given to him. Tulio knows he'll teach her better manners she's just not use to his divinely gifted aura yet. Few mortals could manage to not be intimidated or struck with fear the first few times meeting him.

"Oh?" He cooed to her moving to him now lounging on his side giving her his attention. The saliva clinging to his cock has dried off and he was eager to replace it with something else. One of his hands began a languid stroke, "What brings you such hesitations Psychoula?" Tulio did his best not to have a predatory grin as he could see the other rewards looking at her with pity and fear as they tried to ignore the mewling and moaning throng in the center of the room.

His eyes dilated for a moment watching her pink little tongue wet her dried and chapped lips. His eyes wandered down to the front of her stolla where the fabric revealed the tattooed symbol of the Ultramarine's on her collarbone like all slaves. "It... it looks rather violent." She just says uncomfortably, he could tell she wanted to beg to be dismissed but she was trapped.

"Oh it is. But," He pauses taking a drink, "they are modified to handle such carnal appetites. Only the prettiest things can become like them..." Tulio leans in watching her start to shake but like a good girl she doesn't move, "I think you're pretty enough to become one." He whispers into her ear pulling back to watch her stiffen with fear. Those tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as she whimpers just biting on her bottom lip resisting the urge to beg for mercy.

Tulio stops playing with himself and sets his goblet down as his clawed hands grab her feeling the barest of resistance as he pulls her into his lap. This lower set of arms pulls on the low quality fabric apart causing her to start crying as everything below her waist was now revealed... he could feel how boney she was. One upper hand retrieved his gobelt... the other upper hand worked on throwing the last bits of her ruined stolla away... one lower arm was groping her ass, his cock twitching with excitement, as his other worked her breasts.

"You're so small zoi mou." He stated as her breasts were small from lack of food... lack of nutrition... oh they wouldn't do. Two of his hands rushed down and grabbed her ass with a smack causing her to yelp as he felt up the slightly boney thing, his cock leaking again with excitement at her being in his grasp and his hands felt up her body. "This won't do at all." He said tutting softly as he grabbed her chin. He loved to watch her cry... it stirred something noble feeling in his chest. She was a soft and frail thing that needed someone to protect her and he was going to be that one to do so.

"You'll fatten up soon enough and have breasts as enviable as any of the other concubines getting ravaged here." He made her look at one of the women face down on the floor with a pleasured look on her face as cum oozed down her thighs while one of the battle brothers was roughly rutting with her. She was too speechless only making whines of pleasure... he could smell the shameful arousal from Psychi... "Fat breasts for me to grope and hold," he whispers in her ear, "fattened hips for me to grab and feel my balls clap against." He turned to have her look at him, "You want to be in that position, dont you?"

He watched her shake her head and just chuckled, "I can smell you." He poked her nose like some amused child and not a being of twisted transhuman dread and the simple dread of the profane gifts he has gotten. He pushes her against his cock and she jerks in his grip.

"Please you're too big my lord please! Mercy!" She finally sobs and Tulio shivers, one of his hands gathering up his cum on some fingers.

"Hmm you're right... how about we change that." He leans her back slightly pouring the far too rich wine into her mouth. She lets out a sputtering noise as his cum covered finger pushed into her. She pushed the goblet away and coughed as the red wine stained her skin and wetting her hair as Tulio worked his finger in and out of her at a fast beat smearing just a light coating of his thick cum into her unprepared sex.

She felt her body relax and react to the way his finger moved in and out of her quickly and filled her with a thickness akin to a cock. Tulio's barbed tail twisted and coiled around itself in its own way to express its master's twisted glee. "Yes," he dulcetly crooned, "be a good girl and relax for me." A clawed hand moved over her stomach... claws gently tapping against those visible lower ribs of hers. Tulio loved the way she cried... the pitiful expression she wore just stroked something in him. Tulio felt that same sentimental twinge itch in the back of his mind... was this what loyalists felt over their charges?

He drags out a gasping moan as his index joins his middle finger. He pulls her dirty hair free of the frazzled braid and watches it spool out over the lounging chair. His eyes all focus on her... drinking in the full picture of her pleasure... his hands dance over her body. He held a memory covetously close to his wicked hearts... having seen her smile. Having seen her express a pure spark of joy even in hell. Her smile made such a frail looking creature like herself look radiant and glowing.

She whimpered under his ministrations as she writhed on the large lounging chair unable to stop squirming. Her eyes screwed shut as she was torturously close... Tulio leaned in as his long thin black tongue glided out of his mouth like some predatory beast and it moved into her... finding her clitoris... she squealed as she orgasamed and she tasted like he was expecting... unhealthily... but he wasn't a fully selfish lover... she'd taste like dark chocolate to him one day... that delightful bitter and salty combination mixed with an essence uniquely her's.

He knows she should have asked if there was anything else he needed... but his answer would have been a yes. His hooves touched the stone floor as he grabbed her by her upper arm and dragged her to another room, her legs seemingly failing her. She caught those pitying looks from the others but they would soon have to worry once the concubines were sent away with cum filled cunts. The sexual frenzy of his brothers would end soon... but he was going to indulge in his reward first.

Pressing her hands against the wall in the second room he rocks his cock against her back as he takes his time letting his eyes meander and wander over her body... again far too thin for his liking... he'd find out what fruits and sweets she'd like and help her indulge... oh he certainly was feeling the high that others got from the Prince of Pleasure. She was surly placed in his path by him to keep Tulio from giving it all to Khorne... just as the Weaver of Fate kept his mind sharp... and the loving Grandfather kept him hearty and hale... he would return to balance with his now continued indulgence of his dear Psychoula.

He tossed the empty metal goblet away as all of his hands moved over her body, two hands grabbing and squeezing her breasts on the edge of being too much for her body he could feel her try to flinch away but she was very much well trained... hardly flinching away at all. "I'll enjoy breaking you in... have you begging for my cock again."

She whimpered choosing to remain silent... Tulio clicked his tongue feeling a bit ignored. The way her eyes widened in horror as his palm talon shot out and punched a hole into the metal wall. How her body trembled against his as Tulio leaned in whispering, "I expect you to answer when I tell you something zoi mou. I'm being oh so very nice," He hissed into the shell of her ear, his hands on her breasts shifting to let his nails dig into her oh so frail flesh... "I could rip your flesh right off your body." That got a sob out of her, "Answer honestly my dear..."

He savored with sick delight as her mouth opened and closed as tears were flowing down her cheeks like rain. "Please just don't make it painful." She managed to squeak out of her without sobbing.

"Awww, zoi mou, is that what you're worried about?" He said grabbing her chin and having her look up at him. Of course, she'd be pain adverse for their first time together... perhaps they would work up to that... or not... Tulio just wanted her to be begging for his cock. To see her smile at him with a coy lustful grin in his bed as she wiggled her ass and bare sex to him just wanting to fill her. "I will do my best to make this a moment you want again." He kissed her temple.

She could feel the pointed head of his cock force its way between her prepared folds... it started out thin but got thicker towards the base. She pressed her forehead against the wall, forced to the tips of her toes as Tulio sunk inch after inch into her. Tulio on the other was clenching his jaw trying his best to not just break her and rip her apart for his first time with her. He had to be gentle...

His eyes snapped open, he didn't realize he closed them all, he licked the inside of his mouth as he adjusted his hips and began the slow thrust in and out of her divine sex. It's how he didn't burn himself out... he savored each time he had sex keeping them far enough apart that it made it feel so wonderful and new... he probably would be indulging so much more often if this is what was waiting for him.

Psychi whimpered as he picked her up, hands still on her breasts on the edge of being so painful. The way he wrapped his arms around her... she could feel him starting to squeeze... more and more. Her moans became less and less sure as the distraction of the sex was waning and the impending dread returned.

Tulio tilted her back and started to squeeze causing her to thrash around him, her walls fluttering around his cock causing him to groan as those tears rolled down her cheeks, "Lord Sydo! Lord Sydo please!" She screamed fearfully as she has seen what an Astartes can do to normal human flesh...

"Tulio." He hissed, "Call me Tulio... moan that out for me!"

"Tulio! Tulio!" She screams trying to moan but she just sobs as she can feel the pressure against her body... she was going to die.

"You say my name so sonorously how I am compelled to listen." He trills to her before tossing her naked body onto the bed in the room . He watches her try to recover but he is upon her swiftly and he plunged his cock back deep into her as once again she feels it dance on the edge of painful but Psychi can't help but moan slightly.

Tulio has been a kind lover... as he is certain she has orgasmed at least 4 times since he started giving her attention. The soft whimpers as his cock gently grinds against her cervix... perhaps he lied a little promising that this time wouldn't hurt... it would hurt a bit... one of his upper arms traps her in a headlock, he watches those eyes look at him with fear.

He promises zoi mou! Just let him breed you right now! You will come to love this! He thinks deliriously as his body suddenly floods with the right cocktail of chemicals and neurons firing. The tip of his cock pushes against the very back of her being... Psychi feels something move inside of her before she feel the pressure and she starts to just scream as it hurts. She claws at those ceremite ridges on his arm holding her, she's thrashing as she feels something move inside of her as Tulio's profane biology goes to work flooding his system with hormones as he lets out a soft groan as he finally releases inside of her.

I can't breathe! Is Psychi's last thought as it's too much for her... the racing of her heart... the painful pressure... his arm around her. She cannot hear the bellowed order from Tulio then the screaming from the "gift" mortals. No she gets no closure... as it all... fade... to ... black.

For the first time in her miserable short life... everything feels quiet... everything feels safe. She can feel sleep languidly pulling away from her but whatever she is on is soft. A gentle clean breeze kisses her cheeks and she can feel a gentle warmth on her skin that feels so comforting like a babe's blanket. She does her best to ignore the gentle light that dances across her eyelids occasionally.

She lets out a contented sigh and feels like all of that hardship... it was all a dream and she was finally dead. Something rustles behind her and a warm voice... strong... assured of itself... but it whispers to her, "Welcome Home." The voice says before gentle kisses are pressed against the back of her neck coaxing her back into the deep slumber. Home... what a funny word to here but if this was home... then she never wanted to leave.

Tulio Sydo Lieutenant of the Tyrannic division of the Traitor Primarch Robute Guilliman's Ultramarine legion... sighed contently watching his new wife, consort, concubine, possession. Return to her sleep as they were back in the Ultramar system and he was back home. He once more pressed kisses to the back of her neck as he thought how she would be modified soon... for now he would just enjoy finally having his zoi mou all to himself. His tail lazily swayed behind him as he closed those grass green eyes of his and trilled contently.

[lucywritesagain]

Could a human love a monster

꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈﹕Loki masterlist ꒰ ᐢ｡- ༝ -｡ᐢ ꒱ Navigation ﹕┈・𐑺 ‧��˚໒꒱

Please note that this story is a repost from my old blog @lucywrites02

Summary: Loki is again in a spirale of negative thoughts but can your feeling for him change the way he sees himself

Word count: 1.2k

You were sitting in your room, peacefully reading a book until your bedroom door opened violently and slammed into the wall. You quickly stood up, dropping the book on the floor. You were really confused when you saw that your friend, Loki, was the one to disturb your alone time. Even when he was angry after a fight with Thor he always knocked on your door. If he was really pissed he just walked into your room. But ripping the door out of the hooks? That has never happened before. You were even more taken aback when you looked at his face and saw his glassy eyes staring right at you.

“Loki, what happened?” you asked, wanting to know who dared to hurt him like that.

“Were you there?” you could see that the god of mischief was on the verge of tears. You wanted nothing more but to help him but you had no idea what he meant by that.

“Was I where? Loki I-I don’t know what you are talking about” He was now fiddling his thumbs and his hands were even shaking a bit. You knew he did that everytime he felt anxious but now it wasn’t just the anxiety. He was terrified.

“May 4th, 2012” he said, looking everywhere but in your eyes “ Were you there” the question was barely a whisper as if he was afraid of asking this, which of course he was. But what Loki feared the most was your answer. Now it all clicked. You couldn’t lie to him about it but you also knew that he won’t like the truth. You took a deep breath as if it would help you with anything.

“Loki….. I...” you took a step forward, took a deep breath and continued “I-I was there in New York when you attacked” Loki thought someone stabbed him in the heart when you said that. That was the only thing he was afraid of the most. He promised never to hurt you and yet he did it way before the two of you even met. “ but I forgive you because I know it wasn't’ your fault!” you tried to make him feel a bit better but it was too late for that.

“Forgive me?” Loki’s cheeks were now stained with hot tears “How could you ever forgive me for doing something like that? I killed thousands…… I could have killed…. Y-you” just thinking about that made the god want to jump out of the window.

“You were manipulated, Loki!” you explained, struggling to stop your own tears from escaping your eyes.

“YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, DO YOU!!!!!” he yelled which made you flinch and take a step back. Loki felt terrible the second you told him you were in New York that day but seeing you right now all scared and nervous because of him….. That made him feel hundred times worse than when he found out about his heritage. “I am a monster! “

“YOU ARE NOT!” you shouted furiously. You were angry but not at him. Never at him. You were angry at every person that made your Loki feel that way. You loved him and seeing him now with his face stained with tears talking about himself like he was nothing hurt you. “You are not a monster, Loki. You are so much more and yes you hurt people in the past but guess what? So did everyone else in this tower. Me, Natasha, Tony. The list goes on and on….” you walked to him and took his face in your hands. He tried to move away from you but you didn't let him. “If you were a monster I wouldn’t care about you. I wouldn't let you sit in my room for hours so that you can rant about how stupid Thor is. I wouldn't let you borrow my books so that you have something new to read. I wouldn’t invite you to watch movies with me because I know you secretly like them and find them entertaining.” Loki looked at you with an awe. He really wanted to believe you but there still was a part of him that couldn’t accept it “If you were a monster I wouldn’t be in love with you…”

He has been waiting so long to hear those words. For so long he has hoped that you could one day reciprocate his feelings. But now he was scared. Scared of hurting you like he did that fatal day in New York. He wanted to make you happy but would he ever be able to?

“No, y-you can’t…” he pushed your hands away and turned around “please, don’t”

“Loki, please stop it!” you carefully touched his shoulder, not wanting to push him into any more physical contact but also trying to comfort him but he pushed you away again “You run when people get close to you, you're scared of the thought of someone loving you and you think you don't deserve to be happy. I want to help you and show you that you deserve to be loved more than anyone. Please let me help you...” now you were crying, too “Unless you don’t feel the same. Just say it and I’ll never try again. I’ll never even mention it” Loki couldn’t tell you he doesn’t feel the same. That would be the biggest lie he ever told anyone. He could live knowing that you hate him but he could never forgive himself if he hurt you by denying his feelings for you. As he turned to look at you, your gaze met his crimson red eyes. You noticed that his skin was now blue. You were taken aback at first but quickly remembered how Thor once told you about Loki’s “other side”.

“How could you ever love someone like me?” You noticed that his skin was now blue. You were taken aback at first but quickly remembered how Thor once told you about Loki being a frost giant. “I mean look at me, really look at me, you know not what I've done in my past” you stared at him with admiration with your eyes for you have never seen his Jotun form before. He’s intention was to scare you away, make you hate him not to make you love him even more. “I can’t risk losing you…... You want to know the truth?” he took your hand and put it on his chest. He was slightly colder than usual but you could still feel his beating heart under your palm. “You are everything to me and I don’t deserve you. I love you so much it hurts. But I know you deserve so much more than a monster I am” he looked at you expecting to see disgust on your face. What you did next what a big surprise

Putting your other hand on his cheek, you leaned into his face and your lips met his cold but delicate ones. Loki was beyond shocked. He just showed you the part of him that he hates the most and told you off and yet here you were, kissing him with passion he has never experienced before. His hands grabbed your waist and pulled you closer. You stopped only to take a breath, your foreheads touching.

“I love you” Loki whispeared, looking into your glassy eyes

“I love you, too” you responded smiling

“I-I am so sorry… fo- for everything. If you give me another chance I-I will make this right” your noses were now touching.

“I don’t have to give you another chance, Loki. You didn’t do anything wrong.” you smiled and kissed him again.

And for the first time in years Loki felt truly happy.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

What is this?

Past =-= Next

Author's note: Next part of Catuis's story in Husbandry. Thanks to @sleepyfan-blog for letting me borrow Cedric and Ash'val.

Summary: Catius is sent on errands and spots a Dangerous Person.

Warnings: let me know if I need to add anything.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @whorety-k

Catius was humming to himself, it had been a few months since they'd found Jophiel and had taken him to the Imperial Fist and Salamander Base to get properly patched up. Of course, convincing a skittish, panicky, wounded, and paranoid Jophiel to go to a base filled with Elder Cousins that are First Born that he doesn't know was not easy, also being stalked by a Night Lord had been… not fun.

He was glad that they'd called Elder Apothecary Hura to deal with the fellow Chaos Marine, even though Cedric had to owe Hura a favor for the aid. Hura had called in the favor by requesting Cedric to help him with an incredibly skittish Loyalist Thousand Sons First Born who'd been found in the desert by some of his fellow Chaos Marines and was not… reacting well to being in a Chaos Marine Base.

He'd called Imhoden a 'skittish little cousin'. He knows that Black Templars have a dim view of 'warp witches' but as Cedric was of a gentle temperament and younger, it would help, or so they hoped, calm Imhoden down from his Psyker Paranoia. Cedric has yet to come back from the Chaos Base, but they are in regular contact with him, so he's fine.

And, they do have code words and phrases that they use to ensure that he's still fine, and if he needs back up Catius and the others will go to their brother-cousin's aid, Alliance be damned. For some reason Salamander Captain Ash'val has been keeping a closer eye on him, Claude, Ramiel, and Jophiel since Cedric had 'willingly' gone to help Hura with a particularly tricky patient.

He's finished up the work he's been assigned and heads to who's been assigned to order him about today and reports what he's done and requests another duty task. He's happy to work and is ordered to go and get some supplies from the base line human's town for some items that are easier to buy then to make from scratch themselves.

He nods and is given some local currency and a list and heads to the local town to get the supplies. As well as have a walk about to see who's where in town. There was a rumor that one of the feral war bands of Black Templars was going to be heading into, or would be near the town and they wanted to try and keep an eye on them. Black Templars tended to be rather… temperamental types.

Also, their reactions to a Bond are… not ideal. They are usually not Human Killers. As he's gathering the items he looks to where he spots the feral war band of Black Templars and freezes when he hears a voice that he recognizes. His hearts sinking to his chest as he shuffles to a location that's deeper in the shadows of the building as he mentally swears and carefully peaks around the building.

He feels like a rabbit caught in a trap. Ramiel's told them… some of the things that his so-called Mentor did to him. Has heard the bastard's voice over Vox during some of the rare times that Ramiel was able to try and talk to him, before… before they arrived on Ancient Terra.

Captain Petras is on Ancient Terra- and he's part of one of the less human friendly Black Templar war bands. Oh, this is not good. He's one of the more Infamous Primaris Killers, and he's here. Fuck. Chaplains tended to hold a lot of sway among their battle brothers due to their rank and position within the chapter. Oh, this is not good at all. Suddenly there is a voice in his HUD display and he makes a startled noise.

"-ius, come in Catius," The voice- he recognizes and relaxes a little, it's Captain Ash'val, "Catius sit rep- your vitals are going nuts, what's the situation?"

"Sir," Catius croaks, takes in a breath and then starts again, "One of… of the Primaris Killers is on Ancient Terra."

"…Primaris … what?" Ash'val says.

Catius shivers at the tone of the the Dragon's voice. "What do you mean Primaris Killer? A Chaos or Renegade First Born Astartes?"

"No," Catius says, "He's a Loyalist. Chaos and Renegade Space Marines killing us is understandable, we try to kill them. No- Primaris Killer is a title for Loyalist First Borns who decided that Primaris Marines are abominations to be purged and killed."

There is a silence on the other end of the vox-line and Catius feels like he's said or revealed something that perhaps, Cedric and the other's hadn't told Ash'val or the other First born cousins at the base. Why? He's not sure, but he's got a sinking feeling that he's said something he shouldn't have.

"Catius, get back to base," Ash'val orders, "give me a description and name of this… 'loyalist'."

"… Ramiel didn't tell you? or Cedric?" Catius says, really wishing he could keep his big mouth shut, "This particular Primaris Killer murdered Ramiel. In front of Cedric. And he's a Chaplain."

There is another loud, eternity filled, but actually quite short pause from Ash'val. "He's a what."

Catius winces, there are many reasons why allied Chaplains are… a source of… anxiety for Cedric and Ramiel, and to a lesser extent the rest of them. While Catius had been 'lucky' to not have to deal with many first born before arriving on Ancient Terra, most of the other's had and it hadn't been… the best for them at times.

"My estimated time of arrival is five minutes sir," Catius reports, "I was only able to get half of the requested supplies.

"Someone else will finish getting the supplies, your safety is more important at the moment." Ash'val replies.

Catius blinks and tilts his head, not that Ash'val can see that at the moment, "I don't think he spotted me sir."

"Does he know you are friendly with Ramiel and Cedric?" Ash'val asked pointedly.

"Yes sir." Catius replied.

"And do you want him to know you are here? And possibly them to?" Ash'val asks.

"No Sir!" Catius says with wide horrified eyes, "no!"

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Spring 2020 - JAG Headquarters Naval Base San Diego

Chapter 6 Part 2 of You Are My Soulmate

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Reader

Description: Being at an inquiry has been incredibly difficult. It always is, from what Bradley's heard. But that the inquiry is for his soulmate and he can't do anything to help makes it worse. When the verdict is awarded, all he can do is hold his soul as she sobs with relief. Maybe this is the chance for him to make things right with her?

Disclaimers: Misogynistic speech. Mentioned Homosexual Relationships. Angst. Flagrant disregard for protocols or Authority. Angst. Anguish. The author has no idea how Navy inquiries go (so take all the legalese with a grain of salt).

This content presented in this story is for audiences age 18 and over only. MINORS DNI. I will not be accepting tag-list requests from Blank or Ageless Blogs for this story.

Warnings: Female!Reader

Word Count: 3792

A/N: Can Rooster fix things with his soulmate? I hope so! We're going to see a lot more of Rooster and Tinkerbell together over the next chapters! I hope you all adore it!

I’m neither a law professional nor in the US Navy. In this more than any chapter for this story I’ve written, I implore you to ignore the pseudo-legalese and my fragrant lack of knowledge regarding military inquiry protocol.

AO3: Cross-posted Here!

Wattpad: Cross-posted Here!

My Masterlist

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Rooster

In the unspeakably tense moments after Commander Marks requests the charges against Tinkerbell dropped, Bradley reels, quietly sitting in his chair. He’d known Hawk was responsible for his accident; he’d been told so weeks ago. But seeing the footage, seeing Hawk affix something to his jet maliciously, deliberately, is something he cannot fathom. He wouldn't be here to testify if he had been just a touch more reckless and rash. And where would his actions leave Tinkerbell? 

It had shocked him, seeing her vivacious eyes and smiling mouth dull and stern. She’d looked entirely unlike the firecracker he’d come to admire. The stress had bowed those strong shoulders, bent her proud neck, and caused an imperceptible shiver in those petite, calloused, usually grease-stained fingers. She had looked like an entirely different person in the courtyard during the recess Pops had so willingly granted. With dark, deep-set bags under her eyes, she’d looked so tired yet so indescribably gorgeous he’d fought his way through the crowd to sit beside her, to provide some of his own strength to his flagging soul. The longer they sat there, the more he’d had to concentrate on hearing her quiet, beaten-down voice, the stronger his resolve had grown, and the more his soul had seemed to sing.

She is yours. Yours. Yours. Yours. MINE

He’s sure more than ever Tinkerbell is his. He just has to redeem himself. After all, Bradshaws don’t have platonic soulmates. Bradley’s more than aware of the rumors floating through the Navy about his dads - both his adoptive duo and his birth. When he was just figuring out the rough landscapes of love, Mav sat him down and explained the different bonds people could have - the different loves they could bear. Goose, Mav had explained, had more bonds than anyone he knew. Goose was a man of love, fiery and bright at times and syrupy slow at others, wrapping people in his heart like they were made to belong there. Goose had been so filled with love for his mother it had been palpable even when he spoke about her. That same love he’d extended to his wingmen, those few colleagues whom he considered friends and brothers.

“Bradshaws are big-hearted, Bradley. Your mom has a big heart, and so did your dad. I know you have a heart bigger than both your parents.”

He hadn’t realized how true Mav’s statement was until he was thousands of miles away from his family, alone and cold, with only a new-found fiery sister of his heart to keep him company. Since those dark, cold early days, he’s shared his love with more friends, reclaimed his family, and built lasting friendships with the other Daggers. Only his friendship, his love, keeps him from lurching to his feet as Hawk spews his poison about women in the service, like the two women he mentioned aren’t worth easily ten times as much to the Navy as he is. Both of those women are more than capable of fighting their own battles.

For Natasha Trace, his robust and fiery protector and best friend and sister, all rolled into one person, Hawk’s words are a cross too heavy to bear. Bradley doesn’t stop her. How could he when he’s aware of how hard she’s had to work to get to where she is? It doesn’t surprise him when the other Daggers stand in solidarity next to him, inadvertently blocking the MPs from disturbing Natasha from her task. It’s Jake and Javy, sharing a look he can’t decipher who collect her, her chest heaving, her eyes wild as she stares at Hawk’s battered face with unadulterated rage. This isn’t calm, cool, collected Natasha Trace. This is Phoenix standing there, flames crackling under her skin with all the forces of a vengeful god as she stares at the downed figure of the man who has hurt friends twice over.

When the MPs haul Hawk upright again, his nose is broken, bright red gushing out of the appendage as lurid bruises bloom to life around his eyes. At that moment, it’s more than apparent who still has strength and poise and is the proper Naval Officer between the pair. Hint: It’s not the man listing on his feet and unable to salute the COMPACFLT of the US Navy or meet his eyes as he stalks out of the room. It’s the slim, dark-haired woman with fire in her eyes and pure steel for a spine with bruised, broken knuckles held unflinchingly in a salute. Now, he sees the warrior she is, the strength in his best friend, as the Daggers move in a coordinated mass of highly awarded personnel, collect Tinkerbell, and walk out of JAG Headquarters.

Neither of the women surrounded by the Daggers breaks until they’re deep in the parking lot. Tinkerbell breaks first, her sobs quiet, barely withheld gasps of pain as her fear drains away. It’s like an earthquake shattering Bradley’s calm. He pushes his crutches into someone’s hands - maybe Payback or Fanboy- and stumbles to her. It’s telling, he thinks suddenly, when neither Jake nor Javy stops him as he limps by. But when Tink’s face tips up, tears making glistening tracks down her cheeks, he can’t resist pulling her close. He can feel the shudder in her frame as she buries her face into his chest and cries like she can’t believe she won, or more likely, like she can’t accept her win in addition to Hawk’s defeat. Bradley hasn’t stood on his feet in so long that the strain is evident as his aching muscles hold her weight in addition to his own. But he will not fold to his body’s whims, not at this moment. He’s surrounded by the citrus scent of her perfume, her hair like silk against his fingers, catching at the rough pads as he holds her close. When her arms wrap around his waist, clutching tight and pulling him in closer, he finally breathes a sigh of relief. This is where he belongs, where she does - wrinkled dress uniforms be damned.

He's not sure if Nat breaks or when she does, not until later when he's been unwillingly parted from his soul and after he's showered and been able to sit with the knowledge he's been granted during the trial.

“You like her, don't you, Rooster?” Bradley shrugs, careful not to jostle her hand in his as he cleans the split, bruised knuckles. “I mean, I wasn’t sure if you did, not for the longest time. But that embrace outside of JAG today? That’s when I knew for sure.”

“It feels inevitable, Nat. Like I was always meant to.” She lets him avoid her gaze, lets him stay rapt in the careful, slow disinfection of her wounds. Nat hasn't flinched once, despite how much the rubbing alcohol must hurt.

“She's your soulmate, isn’t she?” Bradley gasps a little, his words getting trapped as he tapes Nat’s knuckles up and busies himself with putting away the roll of gauze and all the ointments he used in their proper places. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Bradley shrugs. “Would you believe it if I said I didn’t know?”

“How is that possible?” Nat’s pacing circles into the tile of Bradley’s kitchen, her hands restlessly tapping against her thighs as she moves. “Didn’t you have the dreams leading you to her all along?”

“I’ve only had a single soul dream since turning 21, Nat.” Bradley’s gentle as he pushes his best friend onto the soda. 

“It happened in the middle of the night on the first carrier I was posted to after flight school.” Bradley can hear her realization as he dips into his fridge for several beer bottles.

“Wait, did this happen at the same time you crashed?” His smile is rueful as he hands his best friend one of the bottles.

Bradley sips on the cold liquid, suddenly needing something to whet his parched throat. “Yeah, Nat. It was the same day I woke up with the scars on my face. It was also the day I swore not to find my soulmate.”

“Why would you do that, you idiot?” Hearing the anguish in her voice, Bradley jerks his head up. What he sees is something he’s not seen in years. A tear is tracking down Natasha Trace’s cheek, anguish in her eyes. The last time he saw Nat cry was when she’d earned her callsign, her first ejection from a flaming fireball. There was abject terror, fear, and a strong sense of her own mortality in her that day. This time, the pain is for a completely different reason as she rockets to her feet.

“You know!” Her arms curl around her ribcage like she’s trying to give herself a frantic, unwelcoming hug. “You know how much I would give to have my soulmate. I would have given anything to wake up on my twenty-first birthday and have a name on my wrist in bold black. Not one faded to the color of my skin.” When he reaches for her, she slaps his hands away. “I would give anything to have a chance. So, do you want to run this by me again? Why you didn’t want to find yours?”

“I….” Bradley can’t lie, not when his best friend looks so angry and sad. “I didn’t want to risk someone else’s happiness. Not when I know how dangerous it is, doing what we do, Nat.”

“I was two years old when my dad died. We were here on North Island, Mom and I. We’d come down the weekend before to see him. He’d promised to take me to a baseball game after Hop 31 because it was supposed to be a half day. When it happened, it felt like my world stopped, Nat. My mom crashed to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut. I’m sure now that she felt the moment he died. She was nearly catatonic, Nat. I had to let the Admirals in when they came to tell us he was gone as she screamed, wailed, and sobbed.”

When Bradley looks up at his best friend, he knows tears are cascading down his face, mirroring hers. “How, Nat? How could I put someone else through the pain I’ve already felt once in my life? I’m sure now that feeling my dad’s death killed my Mom, Nat. She wasn’t the same afterward. I had Mav and his own soulmate, sure. But it wasn’t the same. I should have had my dad.”

“What changed your mind, then?” Bradley knows that Nat’s forgiven him. “It had to have changed sometime between then and now. Because the way you held her after we left headquarters? That embrace wasn’t platonic.”

“I nearly died during the accident, Nat. One month in a coma and all of the rehab after it showed me how fragile my life is. I’m not ready to waste another minute of it. Tinkerbell….” Bradley can’t hide the joy on his face, expressing itself in a soft smile. “She feels so right to be around. I haven’t been happy over the past few months. But talking to her during the recess Admiral Kazansky granted? I felt happy and light. I felt like I found the place where I belonged.”

When Nat collapses onto the sofa beside him, he knows he’s won this disagreement.

“So what are you going to do? How are you going to whoo her?”

It’s a question Bradley doesn’t have the answer to. Everything in him still screams he should attempt to be her friend first. He mulls it over through the night, waking up feeling unrested yet filled with nervous energy. Unsurprisingly, though, his day on base is filled with paperwork. He’s still a month from being cleared to fly, and filing reports for the Admirals is all he’s allowed to do. Maybe Mav will let him help with training one of these days?

It's when he goes in search of his godfather that he meanders past Hangar Two. A Welcome Back banner is spread across the back wall, and a few strands of sparkly tinsel are strewn across the floor. Besides that, it seems to be business as usual for the AMDO team. But Bradley can’t see Tinkerbell. She usually wanders with her tablet in hand, chatting and laughing with her team. He loiters near the open hangar door for a few moments but eventually leaves when he sees maintenance crew members approaching.

Unsurprisingly, when Bradley tracks Mav down, he's ecstatic to have help with the lesson plans. It feels good talking about flying. That one afternoon has him dreaming about flying again. He can’t wait to get back into the cockpit of his jet. He never does find Tinkerbell that day on base. Nor does he find her during the next one or the one after that. It worries him not seeing her around the base. Commander Grayson is still lurking around, his face expressionless as he leads the AMDO team that should rightfully be hers. The case of the missing Tinkerbell concerns him, so much so that he keeps an unconscious eye out for her and her pretty red convertible even when he's out running errands in the Bronco the following weekend.

It's a beautiful spring day. The sun is out, a delicious breeze is blowing in from the ocean, and Bradley feels at peace. Bradley’s out purchasing Goose’s favorite beer and Ice’s favorite vodka for the freezer as a favor to Mav. It’s been a very long time since he’s had the chance to celebrate his dad’s birthday with his dad’s closest friends. Most of his dad’s Top Gun cohort are flying into North Island - Hollywood, Wolfman, Slider, Merlin, Chipper, Sundown - the whole gang will be in the same place again for the first time since ‘86. Bradley hopes they won’t hold a grudge against him for the years of no contact. 

When he pulls his car into the parking lot of The Hard Deck hours before opening, he's surprised to see the cherry red convertible he's been searching for all week right there. When he saunters into the bar, she’s not in there. He’s half aware of what he’s saying as he gives Mav’s colossal drink list to Penny. But really, he’s jumping at every sound in the building, every creak, moan, and groan as the sea-soaked wooden surfaces settle around them. His head is on a swivel, and his eyes are peeled for one person’s sweet smile and melodious voice.

“Bradley?” He yanks his attention back to Penny, who has known him since he was a baby, with a sheepish grin.

“She’s out on the beach.” He starts, looking at her. “Pete told me a little bit of what’s happened. She was meant for you. Go to her. It looks like she needs you. It will take me a while to compile this ridiculous drinks list anyway. Of course, Pete would need upwards of 5 gallons of alcohol!”

Bradley feels like he’s living in an alternate universe as he staggers onto the sand. Everyone in his life seems content to step back and let the Fates drag Tinkerbell and him together. Why doesn’t anyone seem to see how much he’s hurt her? Why doesn’t anyone seem to see how much he has hurt himself? Why is nobody threatening him - ordering him to take care of her? Do they only see what he does in the mirror? The sad, sorry soul covered in scars who only wants to make her smile? The person who never wants to see her cry again? Or do they see the villainous knave who will break her heart? Bradley’s no longer sure what he’ll see in a mirror - the protector or the heartbreaker.

All the questions get washed out with the tide as he finally sees Tinkerbell. She’s in a tie-dye print white sundress, toes stretched out in the sand as the tide wets them. Her hair is loose around her face, whipped around by the wind, and if the sight of her doesn’t take his breath away, her smile at the sight of him does. He can see it now as he staggers unsteadily across the sand on his crutches, the sweet grin, her lips looking plush and glistening in the sunlight.

“Hi, Bradley.” He wobbles a little at the naked affection in her voice, plonking down almost too heavily onto the blanket she’s sitting on. Half his ass is on the blanket, and the other half is definitely in damp sand, but he doesn’t mind. Not when she giggles at him and then grabs his crutches to lay them carefully out on her other side.

“Hi, Tinkerbell.” He lets himself lean just until his arm brushes hers. It’s silent out here, just the air rifling through his hair and clothes, snatching at the full skirt of Tinkerbell’s pretty sundress.

“What’re you doing out here, Bradley?” Bradley can’t believe how good his name sounds falling out of his soulmate’s mouth. 

“I came to buy some drinks from Penny.” Faced with Tink’s big doe eyes and soft smile, Bradley lets the whole story spill, telling Tinkerbell about the annual celebration for Goose Bradshaw that Mav plans.

“It must be nice,” There’s a faraway look in her eyes as she looks out of the blue ocean. “To have so much family coming to see you, to celebrate your father’s life even after so many years.”

“Where are your folks, Tink?” Her head jerks up, mouth parting in shock as her cheeks flush. She wraps her arms around her knees, resting her cheek on her knees, facing him. The new position allows Bradley to see the smooth skin of her back and a glimpse of stark ink curling around her right side. It’s too soon to kiss her soft skin, right?

“My parents are on the East Coast.” There’s something sad in her voice as she clutches her knees to her chest like she’s holding in her emotions. “I haven’t seen them in a few years. Not since before I was on the Nimitz.”

“I’ve been on or deploying out of the West Coast for much of the last decade. I talk to them on the phone whenever I can, but it never feels like it’s enough. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be with my family. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be loved by a family.”

Bradley can sense the despair in her voice as he scoots closer and mirrors her position as much as he can. “Can I tell you a secret?”

At her shy nod, he takes a breath before fishing in the pocket of his jeans for a handkerchief. He hands the folded-up, square of fabric to her.

“You also gave me one of these in the atrium during the inquiry.” Her voice is soft as she traces over the embroidered name and monogram on the fabric.

“Yeah.” Bradley’s voice quiets even further. This close, all he can smell is the salty sea breeze and the citrus of Tinkerbell’s perfume. “Those kerchiefs belonged to my dad, Nicolas Edward Bradshaw. They were an anniversary present from my mom to him for their fourth wedding anniversary. These kerchiefs are one of the few things I remember about my dad, Tink. Every time I cried, my dad used to swoop in with one of these kerchiefs, the ones my mom always ironed and lightly starched for him. It was a labor of love for her. He even had one of these kerchiefs in his flight suit the day he died. I’ve been carrying them around with me ever since my eighteenth birthday because I needed a little bit of Goose Bradshaw’s indomitable spirit when I thought I was alone.”

“I’m sorry, Bradley.” He takes her hand in his at her apology, drawing them up until he can kiss her knuckles. 

“You’ve nothing to be sorry about. What I wanted to say is that I remember these kerchiefs in his hands. I remember the smell of the starch my mom used. I remember how soft the fabric was against my face. But I don’t remember much else of my father. I get snatches of his voice every once in a while or hear his laughter in the wind. Everything else I know of my father comes from the stories I’ve heard my whole life. I can’t tell anyone who knew him this. They all look at me like I’m horrible for forgetting him. But I was so young when he died, so absorbed in growing up, that it feels like I missed out on knowing him, so therefore, I missed out on grieving him entirely.”

“I’m not sure my dad knew how much I loved him when he died. For that matter, when my mom passed away from cancer when I was sixteen, and the dumbest little shit, did she know? Did she know how much I loved her?  Did they know how much I missed them when they were gone?”

The words dry up in his throat then because tears are brimming in Tinkerbell’s eyes. Her voice is soft as she squeezes his hand back like he did hers. 

“They knew, Bradley. They knew you loved them then. I’m sure they know you love them now, as well. I’m so sure that if they had the choice to stay or go, they would have picked to stay here with you for as long as they could.”

“I know, sweetheart.” A small, disbelieving smile curls up the corners of her mouth. “But they left a family behind for me. It took me over a decade after my mom passed away to realize they did, but I’m done taking my family for granted.”

Her small giggle makes him smile, too. He ducks forward and carefully dabs the tears away.

“Basically, sweetheart, I brought that up to ask you a question.” At her nod, Bradley inhales. “Would you want to come with me? To celebrate my dad tonight?”

“His birthday is today?” There’s disbelief on her face, lips parted slightly.

“Yeah. Mav holds a get-together for everyone my parents considered family at his place every year.” Bradley’s got his heart in his throat. Would his soulmate want to meet his family this soon? Please let her say yes. He can’t think of a better way to introduce Tinkerbell to his family.

“I’d be happy to.” Her smile sets his heart alight as she stands up and helps him stand. Before Tinkerbell folds up the blanket, she wraps her arms around his waist, soaking in his warmth. His heart thuds frantically as he walks her up to the Hard Deck because it finally feels like good things are happening.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

Taglist:

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[edge-oftheworld]

you know i don't really talk about it on this acc much, but i find myself in a lot of various neurodivergent spaces. hearing stories of people desperately trying to communicate their needs, being invalidated, or forced to jump through hurdles they're unable to in order to get help they need. thinking about how as humans we have so many differences in communication, yet so many people are silenced when using theirs, struggling and invisible, blamed for their own difficulties, for not measuring up. people's experiences being pitted against finite resources, victimised by systems many of us can't thrive in, burdened with more than some can keep up with, it's the nature of being disabled, unable to empower themselves. and there's only so much legislation and that can do, as good as it is. good systems need to be put in place, but those systems need to be backed by the support of people--not just those who are vulnerable but a whole tribe of us in solidarity. we need that love, and to build it, we need connection and understanding that simply being told 'these are people with needs' isn't going to evoke.

and for that reason i really love writers and artists. i think as humanity we owe a lot to them. i love a talented writer who can get into someone's head, be they real (with consent) or a fictional amalgamation of the characteristics of people, and share their writing far and wide, so people can feel and learn something from it and be a little more understanding. you don't need buckets of empathy necessarily, just a perspective, that window into how someone or a group of people experience life. and to use that new information to choose to be an ally. i love you, fanfic writers, for doing this and building the skill to take beyond fanfic if you choose. i love artists who create art that give us insights into perspectives, that capture moments and feelings and really make us question how we do things. it's very punk. artists of all kinds, i love you.

and this is a music blog. i have to mention songwriters especially. because i've spent my life looking for songs that convey experience in the most real way possible. i've chased perspectives and representations of my own in artists' music. you can learn to see things a thousand, a billion ways through music, both in the lyrics when they are present, and in every musical element put together. it all creates a picture. it presents something. it communicates on a much more primal and validating way than just using words, facts, demands. it allows us to see much more intimately and intricately ourselves and each other. it is absolutely necessary in our activism for vulnerable people, invisible for one reason or another, disabled, neurodivergent--you name it. and it is a really beautiful statistic for me to see, that so many songwriters are neurodivergent. this allows a kind of communication that might be difficult to have otherwise. it is something people of all neurotypes accept. we all, to some degree, love music. and we can (and do, often without realising) use it to do just this! to communicate, as songwriters, our own experiences or those of whoever inspires us. we see souls and we see lives through it. and music has no real categories and labels, just a new piece for us to connect with, maybe deeply, or maybe just witness for a moment, and see something we usually wouldn't.

and so i have a dream. a dream where we can channel the often accidental (but also, often so purposeful) activism of music into the causes we care about, thinking about which voices are centred, and making sure whoever is sidelined gets a chance to be heard sometimes. a dream where we don't just have lists of how to be better allies and legislations we vote yes or no to, but we can educate ourselves on all these diverse and different experiences through music as well as specific, measurable, often emotionless data. because i've spent the last six years trying to figure out how i exist in the world. why i am the way that I am. if that sounds familiar. i've come across an encyclopedia's worth of knowledge on diversity. on neurodivergence. that I had to sift through to see what fits me. but in the process i can see the experiences of so many people, all of whom I see a little bit of myself in, and I've learned how accommodations work and sensory profiles and how there is so much injustice in the world most of us aren't even aware of because people's pain is invisible. and they're often not given the tools, the labels, the words to use to describe it because people simply don't think about it. they don't know. they don't know how to see it in someone until they're told. until that person has nowhere else to go, if they're lucky they'll find the blueprint for their life and their brain before living without it destroys them. and work back from there.

isn't it good that scientists and those experiencing these things have put together categories of human for the kinds of specific blueprints we might need? yes I know there is problematic history of exclusion and many other things--that still influence stigma today and why we don't ever think of neurodivergence or disability when someone is what we class as successful--but we've figured some things out!! we can help people with them!! we can combine our winnings!! science and labels and lists of accommodations that come with them, with personal art about experience from people who are in some of these categories, people who aren't, every kind of unique experience you can think of. imagine it. a world of people with so many resources they need to feel better. some of them make art. some of them enact legislation. all of this goes back to helping each other!!

i could probably look at every artist i know well and have a guess at how their brain and nervous system would be categorised. i have the confidence by now to say that i would for the most part, be right. or at least very close. if i had the chance to do this i could tell them i love them and i desperately want them to be okay and of the impact of their art. i could be part of distributing that validating or experientially educational art to those who most need it. I already do that, to the extent I am able at the moment. and i try to be a good activist. i've seen a lot more awareness of things i've been talking about over the last 2-3 years. we're getting better. but sometimes I do feel like i'm posting bits and pieces of information through the entire internet with part of my goal being hopes that this person i care about whose art i've consumed and loved and benefitted so much from, might put the pieces together and figure these things out for themselves. we're getting better. i still feel helpless when i encounter some content some artists i love put out.

i don't think it's respectful to be like 'i hc this person as this' all over the internet, so i'm not gonna do that, and i ask that you also think of the implications of what you theorise as well--99% of the time it's fine. i know that. but i also know the stigma around neurodivergence that exists still is there, and also what labels people use publicly are their own choice and this should never be taken away from them. but we don't have to be detectives without filters to simply talk about our own experiences with neurodivergence, with whatever things we struggle with, to each other in the fandom, and build a culture of creating awareness. we can do that. without taking away anyone's autonomy or anything like that. so talk to me about this stuff!! please. always. i always want to hear it. and i wanna hear what songs you relate to because of it!! that's what i'm here in the fandom for. i love you guys. i'm being vague on purpose but if you catch what triggered this spiel (and it's a recurring pattern. every time something new comes out) i salute you. we can bond over it. please bond over it with me. i try to be an activist, yes, but really, i need connection and validation of my experience just like I think all of us do, and deserve to have. small conversations are part of creating this vision <3

[dindjarin-mandalorian]

A Soft Place to Land (The Mandalorian - Din Djarin x OC) - Chapter Twenty-Seven

Author’s Note: Links to my Masterlist and AO3 can be found on the side of my blog if you're on desktop or at the top in my pinned post on desktop and mobile. :)

This fic begins several years before the events of Season One of The Mandalorian take place, but it’s now caught up to events of the first season. At this point in the story, Din and Lira have known each other for about thirteen years, and this chapter takes place immediately after the events of Chapter 8 of the show.

This is possibly the longest chapter yet - 10,000+ words! So it's a long one. :)

Warnings: I don’t think there should be any warnings for this chapter, but if I’ve missed something, please let me know!

Tagged: @nova646 @arduadastra @jynrumbly @jesfreedark @littlemisspascal (If you would like to be added to my tagged list, let me know in the comments or you can message me! And the same goes for if you'd like to be removed. 🙂)

_

Din woke before Lira the next morning, and for the briefest of moments, he feared he’d dreamed everything that happened with her the day before, that there was no way she had told him she loved him. But then he opened his eyes and saw her lying next to him, her arm draped over him, holding him close, and he knew it was true, though it was still hard to believe. He couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on his face as he watched her sleep.

Part of him wanted to wake her so he could talk to her, but the other part of him just wanted to stay in bed with her forever. He glanced up at the Child asleep in his hammock, grateful that he hadn’t woken yet, then breathed a soft sigh, content to stay right where he was.

He knew they had a lot to discuss, knew there was so much about the day before to process and work through, but there would be time for all of that later. Right now, he would let Lira sleep as long as she wanted. He refused to get out of bed, knowing that she would definitely wake if he did. His arm had found its way around her at some point while they slept and it pillowed her head now. It was numb, but he didn’t care.

He moved ever so slightly, just enough so that he was on his side facing her, his smile growing a little more at the sight of her. Her hair was a little mussed, her cheeks flushed red, her lips slightly parted, and he didn’t think he’d ever seen a more beautiful sight. He knew she would argue that fact, but it didn’t make it less true.

Lying so close to her, watching her sleep peacefully, he knew he would give anything to wake up next to her every single morning for the rest of his life, and he hated that he’d wasted so much time when he could have admitted his feelings years ago. If he’d known she felt the same, he might have found his courage sooner, but now that he looked back, it was obvious. He should have known, should have seen the signs.

He hadn’t let himself see them, not believing there was even a chance she could love someone like him, but now, with the knowledge that she did love him, he knew the signs had always been there. The lingering glances, the small smiles, the way she would bite her lip sometimes when he’d turn to look at her. The way she found any excuse to touch his arm, to stay next to him. The way she would laugh at something he’d said, her eyes alight, though he knew he wasn’t really that funny.

The soft way she said his name, the comfortable way she would lean into him, the way she would blush when he would compliment her about even the smallest thing. And there were probably a thousand other signs that he’d missed altogether, but he knew now, without a doubt, that she’d been telling the truth the night before.

She loved him.

His heart felt so full that he was afraid it would burst, and he wanted to kiss Lira so badly that it hurt. He silently cursed the helmet, the Creed, everything that was keeping him from waking her with a gentle kiss.

When he’d first sworn the Creed, he hadn’t imagined that there would ever come a day when there would be someone in his life he would want to remove the helmet for, someone he’d want to kiss, to share his life with. And though he’d often dreamed of kissing Lira, he hadn’t expected the feeling to be mutual, so he hadn’t put much thought into how he could kiss her and still keep the Creed. Now that he was faced with the possibility of kissing her - just the thought made his stomach flip - he knew he needed to figure out a plan of action.

To kiss her, the helmet would have to be removed - there was no way around it. Yet if he removed the helmet, she would see his face, and he might as well toss the helmet out of the ship’s airlock if that happened.

His eyes widened slightly, unable to believe he hadn’t thought of it before. Just because his helmet was off didn’t mean she would have to see his face. He thought she might not mind keeping her eyes closed, and he trusted her enough to believe she wouldn’t open them. He grimaced as the thought of a blindfold entered his mind. He didn’t want to do that, to resort to covering her eyes as though he didn’t trust her, to restrict her sight while he retained the ability to see her, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought it might be the only way.

He knew she wouldn’t intentionally open her eyes while his helmet was off, but things happened, and it would only take one slip up for him to break the Creed. He sighed, deciding he’d worry about it later. He needed to talk to Lira first, anyway. He’d see if she had any suggestions. Maybe they could work something out together.

Together. He still couldn’t believe the events of the night before. He’d known Lira for over thirteen years and had loved her for most of those, and now, finally, she knew how he felt about her. To say that it was a relief would be a massive understatement. He couldn’t wait for her to wake, for them to talk, to start the next phase of their life together.

Lira sighed softly and her eyes fluttered open, staring at his helmet for a moment before a faint blush colored her cheeks and she whispered, “Are you awake, Din?”

Din grinned. “Yeah.”

She bit her lip, a shy smile appearing on her face. “I couldn’t tell with the helmet. Have you - have you been awake long?”

“Not too long,” he answered quietly.

Lira nodded, embarrassed to have been the last to wake. What if she’d looked funny as she slept? What if she snored? Oh, stars, why couldn’t she have woken up first?

She was shaken from those thoughts by the realization that her legs were tangled with Din’s. She didn’t know when she’d rolled to face him, when she’d wrapped her arm around him, when they'd fitted their legs together, but she didn’t make a move to untangle herself from him.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

“I slept very well, thank you.” Her wink sent a shiver down Din’s spine. “Did you?”

“Yeah, better than I have in a long time.”

Lira grinned. “Any particular reason why?”

“Might have been because I was holding a beautiful woman in my arms.”

Lira laughed softly, her cheeks turning even pinker as her eyes dropped to his chest. “Smooth,” she said, looking back up at him with a soft smile.

“Thanks.”

She laughed again, then breathed a contented sigh. She began rubbing soft patterns along his back with her hand, wishing she could feel his skin, then scooted the last half-inch to close the distance between them. “This is nice,” she whispered.

“Yeah, it is.”

“I didn’t expect this to happen when I woke up yesterday morning.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“Although, I hoped it would one day.”

“So did I.”

She slid her arm away from him, causing him to mourn the loss of contact until she reached behind her and pulled his hand from her own back, moving it in front of her. She brought his hand up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it before clasping it with her own and holding it against her chest, moving her thumb gently against it.

He shivered slightly at her touch, hoping she wouldn’t notice. Lying so close to him, so attuned to him, she did notice, however, her smile growing at the realization.

“You have very nice hands.”

“Thank you.”

“I wish I could see more of you.” Her cheeks instantly reddened as she realized what she’d said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean - I only meant - I just… I didn’t mean for that to sound as weird as it did.”

He smiled behind the helmet. “It’s okay, it didn’t sound weird.”

“Are you sure? It feels like it was weird.”

“Not weird at all.”

“Okay, good.”

“For what it’s worth, I wish that, too.”

She stared into his visor, wishing she could see his eyes, knowing it was impossible. She couldn’t even say, “Maybe one day,” because she didn’t think that day could ever possibly come if he remained a Mandalorian, and she knew she didn’t want to be the reason he gave that up.

She brought his hand up to kiss it again, then blushed once more as her barely-awake brain finally parsed what he’d said. Just because she couldn’t see his face didn’t mean she couldn’t see the rest of him. She bit her lip at just what that could possibly mean, trying to keep her face neutral.

Unfortunately for her, her thoughts were written all over her face. Din cleared his throat, wanting to pull the helmet off then and there so he could kiss her. He knew they still needed to talk before kissing entered the picture, but dank farrik, he wanted his lips on hers that instant. Wanted to kiss her neck, wanted to trail his kisses even lower.

He swallowed, glad he was wearing the helmet so she couldn’t read his thoughts on his face. Suddenly much too hot under the helmet, he wondered if Lira would be his cause of death. If being so near to her would one day make his heart explode.

It would, he reasoned, be a wonderful way to go, all things considered.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

He was tempted, briefly, to be completely honest, but then decided to keep his thoughts about kissing her to himself for the moment. “You.”

She smiled. “What about me?”

“How much I love you. How lucky I am to be holding you right now.”

“What a coincidence. I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

Din grinned. Part of him kept thinking it was all a mistake, a fluke, that she would change her mind, but then she would say something like that, and he’d realize all over again that it was true, that it was happening.

He remembered just how close he’d come to losing it all the day before, then remembered her burned arm. “How’s your arm today? Does it still hurt?”

She raised it experimentally, wincing as she brought it back down and draped it across his waist. “The burn is much better. Whatever you put on it last night worked wonders. The soreness from yesterday is still very much present, however. My whole body feels like it’s been trampled by a mudhorn.”

He reached his arm around her and began to rub her back in what he hoped were soothing circles to try to alleviate some of her soreness. “Yeah, I know how that feels.”

“Are you okay today? You got a little more beat up yesterday than I did.”

“I’m okay. A little sore, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“So tough,” she teased, gently squeezing his waist. “It’s okay if you’re not okay, you know. I won’t think less of you if you admit you’re sore.”

“I know.”

“And?”

“And I’m really sore.”

Lira laughed softly. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’re already helping.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Her smile softened at his tone. “Well, I wish I could do more.”

He leaned forward a little, just enough to gently press his helmet against her forehead. “This is enough.”

She closed her eyes as she hummed happily.

“What are we going to do today?” she asked quietly.

“We can’t just lie here all day?”

She smiled and looked at him again. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it? I don’t think the little one would appreciate that, though. I’m surprised he’s still asleep, honestly.”

They glanced up, both stifling laughter as they realized the Child was awake and staring down at them.

When he noticed that they’d spotted him, he climbed out of the hammock, swinging from the edge for a moment before dropping onto Din’s leg and sitting up, cocking his head to the side as he stared at the two of them lying in the small bed.

Lira wondered, briefly, just how long he’d been awake, then realized it didn’t matter. She smiled as she watched him tug on Din’s arm.

“You ready to get up, kid?” Din asked.

She melted at the gentle way Din pulled his hand from hers and patted the Child’s back.

Din suddenly realized that getting out of the small bed was going to be more of a challenge than getting into it, given the way his legs were tangled with Lira’s.

“Okay, kid, you’re gonna have to get out first.”

Lira laughed as she recognized Din’s dilemma. “How are we going to manage this?”

Din shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to climb over me again.”

She flushed, biting back a teasing smile. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately, then sucked in a breath, wondering if he’d ever stop embarrassing himself in front of her. “I mean, I wouldn’t not like it. I didn’t - I don’t - I don’t mind.”

Lira’s smile grew wider as she listened to him stutter. Din being nervous and shy instead of confident and sure made butterflies flutter around her stomach, and she wasn’t sure what it said about her that she liked the fact that she made him nervous.

The little one saved her from having to reply, however, by squealing loudly at the pair of them after he’d dropped from the bed to the floor.

She laughed. “We’re coming, little one! You’ll have to be patient while we figure this out.”

She grinned at Din, her cheeks still a bright red as she struggled to sit up and disentangle her legs from his. “We’re really going to have to figure out new sleeping arrangements. Not that I don’t like sleeping so close to you - quite the opposite, actually - but this is really unnecessary. What if there’s an emergency and we have to get up really fast? Someone is going to hit the ground hard if that happens, and it will probably be me.”

Din laughed, grateful that she hadn’t said anything about his awkwardness. “I wouldn’t let you fall. But you’re right, I’ll try to figure something out.”

She finally attempted to climb out of the closet, moving so that her arms were on either side of him as she held herself above his prone body, her knees on either side of one of his thighs, pausing to say, “Although I would happily sleep in this sardine can with you forever if that’s the only way I could be close to you.”

Din swallowed, one arm still outstretched, numb, the other moving to her hip of its own accord, wanting to pull her down on top of him. His thumb slid beneath her shirt, skating softly against her bare skin. She gasped at the sensation, closing her eyes as he continued to caress her.

The Child babbled from behind her and her eyes popped open, startled at just how quickly she’d forgotten the world around her with Din’s hand on her bare skin. As much as she hated to move, she knew she had no choice.

“He’s not very patient this morning, is he?” she asked, her voice slightly shaky.

Din shook his head, his own voice raspy when he finally answered. “No, he’s not.”

“I guess that just means you’ll have to be the patient one,” she said, finally sliding off of him and out of the closet.

“Patient for what?” he managed to ask as he sat up.

She tossed a wink at him over her shoulder before scooping up the little one. “You’ll see.”

Din didn’t think he had enough patience to wait for whatever she had in mind, but stars he hoped that whatever she had in mind aligned with what he was thinking. He slid out of bed and followed her as she made her way to the cockpit, waiting at the bottom of the ladder as she climbed up.

Her voice floated down to him. “We’re still in hyperspace.”

“Dank farrik.” He’d forgotten all about putting the Razor Crest into hyperspace the night before, his thoughts completely consumed by exhaustion and Lira.

He hurried up the ladder and dropped into the pilot’s seat, checking the navs.

“Where are we?” Lira asked.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Somewhere safe.”

“Oh, good! So we’re fine?”

“Yeah. Probably shouldn’t have left the ship in hyperspace for so long, though.”

Lira wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, it does sound kinda… tired.”

Din laughed softly. “It does. I’ll find somewhere for us to land and we’ll let it rest.”

“Good idea. Maybe somewhere with good food? I’m starving.”

He hadn’t realized it until she mentioned food, but he could definitely eat. “Yeah, me too. I’ll see what I can do.”

Even though he knew it wasn’t a good idea to leave the Razor Crest in hyperspace for so long, he was grateful that it put a fair bit of distance between themselves and Nevarro. And, if someone was still looking for them, the chances of anyone finding them immediately were slim, and that thought relaxed him enough to land the ship near a market with an open-air tavern.

Once they were settled and Din had ordered their food, as well as scanned the room for any threats, he realized Lira was staring at him.

“What?”

“We should go back to the ship to eat.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” He looked around again, thinking he’d missed something the first time.

“Because you’re hungry.”

“Because I’m - what?”

“Because you’re hungry, too, and if the little one and I eat here, you’ll have to wait even longer before you can eat. Because of the helmet, you know.”

“I -”

He wasn’t even sure what to say. It wasn’t even the first time she’d been so considerate of him and his helmet, but the fact was that it still took him by surprise every single time. He was used to not being able to eat immediately, used to his food being cold by the time he was able to finally remove the helmet to eat it.

“It’s okay,” he finally said. “I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do.”

“It doesn’t matter, Lira. You two can eat, and then I’ll eat once we’re back to the ship.”

“No.”

He wasn’t sure why she was so adamant about it, and he stared at her, his head tilted to the side. “I really don’t mind -”

“I don’t eat until you eat.” She reached out and laced her fingers with his. “Okay?”

He had the feeling that she meant more by her words than just wanting him to eat. It felt heavier than her just being polite about waiting until he could eat his meal before she ate her own. There was a subtle shift in their relationship, and he knew it had to do with the fact that they’d admitted their feelings for one another the night before. Maybe this was what it was like to have a true partner in life.

Finally, he nodded. “Okay.”

Her smile lit up her face as she squeezed his hand. “Okay.”

When the waitress returned with their food, they made their way back to the ship, Lira feeding little bites to the little one as they walked.

She nudged Din’s arm with her elbow, smirking up at him. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’re wearing the jetpack.”

He tilted his head at her. “Didn’t want to lose it.”

“Pfft - didn’t want to lose it. Where’s it going on the ship, Din? You know what the Armorer said. It won’t work properly for you until you take some time and get to know it.”

“I know. I’m not going to use it yet.”

She raised a brow. “Mmhmm. Okay.” She fed another bite of food to the little one, then added, “Although, I really like the way you wear your cloak with the jetpack.”

“You do, huh?”

Her face flushed slightly, though she didn’t look away from him. “Yeah, it looks… nice.”

“Thanks.”

“Even if it does seem sort of dangerous to have any kind of material flowing behind you when you’re using the jetpack.”

“It won’t catch fire.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure, Mr. Flame-Resistant-Cloak.”

He laughed. “I am.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Her voice was soft and she sounded close to tears, which was a complete turnaround from her previous statement, so Din slowed to a stop and turned to look at her. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, hastily brushing a tear away with her free hand. “Ugh, yeah, sorry. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

She nodded again, then dropped her head to hide her eyes from him. “I just… you scared me yesterday, Din.” She swiped at her tears again. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Din reached out and placed a finger under her chin, gently lifting her head until her eyes met his visor. “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t want you to apologize, Din, I just -”

“I know, but I’m still sorry. I led you into that yesterday. I knew it might be dangerous, but I didn’t expect it to be that bad. I know it scared you, and the last thing you should feel is scared. I want… I want you to feel safe when I’m around.”

“I do, Din. I do feel safe with you. But I thought you were dead. When I thought I’d lost you, I barely even registered the fact that I was in danger.” She bit her lip and looked away for a moment before turning back to him. “I didn’t even care,” she whispered. “I didn’t even care that I was in danger. If it hadn’t been for the little one… I probably would have gone back and joined you.”

“Don’t say that, Lira.”

“But it’s true.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to live without you, and I know me saying that is probably a lot, and probably sounds really dramatic, but… I can’t imagine my life without you now, Din.”

He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, then gently stroked her cheek. “I can’t imagine my life without you, either.”

She crinkled her nose and Din smiled at the familiar sight of her trying not to cry. “Come on,” he said softly, “let’s get back to the ship and eat, and then I think you and I need to talk a little more.”

“Yeah, I think we do.”

They started walking toward the Razor Crest again, and Din slid his arm around her waist, holding her close to his side as she rested her head against him.

When they reached the ship, Lira nodded her head at the ladder to the cockpit. “You can go up and eat. We’ll eat down here and then join you once you’re finished.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

She shrugged a shoulder lightly. “It’s no big deal. We’re fine down here, aren’t we, little one?” The Child squealed in answer, and Lira grinned at Din. “See? We’re good.”

“No, I mean you don’t have to.”

Lira’s brows drew together in confusion. “What?”

“I got soup so I can just… lift the helmet enough to drink it. You won’t see my face. It’ll be fine.”

Her nose wrinkled. “You’re going to drink your soup?”

“I mean… yeah.”

“It would be easier to use a spoon, you know.”

“Maybe, but I want to eat with you and the kid.”

“And you’re sure it’s okay?”

“Yeah.”

He knew it was toeing the line to lift the helmet even the small amount to sip his soup, but he didn’t care. He was tired of eating alone, tired of Lira and the kid having to leave the room while he did something as basic as eating. If he and Lira were truly going to start a relationship, he knew some things would have to change, and he might as well start with something small.

“Yeah,” he repeated. “It’s fine.”

A small smile appeared on her face. “Okay, if you’re sure then we would love to eat with you.”

“I’m sure.”

Her smile grew and she nodded. “Okay.”

Once they settled into the cockpit with their food, Din smiled at the sight of Lira resolutely keeping her eyes away from him as he lifted the helmet enough to sip his soup.

“You don’t have to stare at your food, you know,” he told her. “You can look around.”

“I just don’t want to accidentally see your face!”

“You won’t. I’m not lifting it that much.”

“But still.” She gently lifted the Child from her lap when she realized he was trying to look under the helmet, and turned him so that he was seated facing away from Din. “No peeking, little one.”

Din’s grin grew even more. “It really is okay, Lira. I wouldn’t have suggested this if it was a problem.”

“I know! I know. I just… don’t want to forget and then look at you and then boom - you’re not a Mandalorian anymore.”

He knew that if anything put him in danger of breaking the Creed, it was him not being able to keep himself from kissing her and not because she saw his chin while he ate, but he appreciated the fact that she took his Creed so seriously.

Wanting to reassure her, he carefully set his bowl of soup on the console before holding out his hand to her. “Look at me, Lira.”

She continued to stare resolutely at her food. “The helmet’s on, right?”

Din chuckled softly. “Yeah, it’s on.”

She slid her hand into his and then finally looked up at him. “Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi.”

Her smile sent a jolt through his stomach, and he swallowed as he searched for the right words to say even though he knew it was futile. He could never seem to find the right words when he was in her presence. He had to try, though.

“I appreciate you being so careful about not seeing my face, Lira. I know it’s hard to deal with all this,” he motioned to his helmet with his free hand before adding, “I know it isn’t ideal.”

Her smile softened. “It’s not too bad.”

“I just - I hope you know what it means to me. That - that you see me even though you can’t… see me.” He grimaced behind the helmet. “Sorry, that’s - that’s really…” he trailed off, no longer sure what he was even trying to say. “Sorry.”

She rubbed his gloved hand with her thumb as she continued to smile at him. “You don’t have to apologize. I know what you mean.”

He wasn’t even sure he knew what he meant, but he was grateful that she wasn’t calling him an idiot.

“I just wanted to tell you that it’s okay for you to look in my direction while we eat, that’s all.”

She squeezed his hand as she nodded. “Okay. I just worry.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to make you break the Creed.”

“I know,” he repeated. “You won’t.”

She nodded again, smiling as she released his hand and picked up her fork again. “This is nice, though. Eating in the same room.”

He grinned to himself as he realized she was at least looking in his general direction now, even though she still wasn’t looking at anything close to his helmet or face. “It is.”

They continued to talk while they ate, Lira finally relaxing enough to enjoy her meal and his company without worrying about accidentally looking at his face. Her food was long gone by the time the little one began to yawn and rub his eyes. She didn’t know how much time had passed while she and Din had talked, and she didn’t want the moment to end. They’d skated around the topic of their new relationship, choosing instead to talk about lighter, less important things, but she knew they needed to discuss it eventually. She also knew, however, that the little one needed a nap.

“I think the little one and I are going to go below for a little bit.”

Din nodded, understanding exactly why she wasn’t mentioning the fact that the kid was sleepy. “All right.”

She set her empty bowl aside, then stood, settling the little one on her hip and reaching out to squeeze Din’s shoulder as she passed him. “I’ll be back soon, and then maybe we can talk a little more.”

Her shy smile made him want to take her in his arms, but he knew the kid needed to go to sleep, and if he ever got Lira in his arms, he wouldn’t want to let her go. “Sounds good.”

He turned in his seat to watch her go, then cleaned up their empty dishes to pass the time while he waited for her to come back. After what seemed like several hours but was actually only about thirty minutes, he heard her climbing back up to the cockpit.

She sank into the co-pilot’s chair with a soft sigh and smiled at him. “Didn’t think he was ever going to fall asleep.”

“I was beginning to wonder.”

She laughed quietly. “I almost fell asleep waiting for him to fall asleep.”

Din chuckled. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

She tilted her head and winked at him. “Would you have missed me?”

“Yes.”

Her smile softened at the tone of his voice. “Well, I would have hated to miss this conversation so there’s no way I would have allowed myself to fall asleep.”

“I’m glad.”

She bit her lip, then said, “Soooo… where do we start?”

Din hesitated for a moment. “I don’t know.”

Lira wasn’t at all surprised that Din wasn’t going to be the one to open up first, and though she wasn’t sure what the best way to start this particular conversation would be, she decided to just jump right in with the most important part. “Well, can I say that I’m beyond happy about what happened last night?”

“Which part?”

Lira laughed. “‘Which part?’ The part where we said we loved each other.”

“Oh, yeah, that part was definitely the highlight of the day.”

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“Although the part after was pretty nice, too.”

“The part where we slept squeezed into your sardine can of a bed together?”

Din chuckled again. “Yeah, that part.”

Lira grinned. “I liked that part, too.”

“I know I should try to figure something out about the sleeping arrangements before we go to bed tonight, but part of me doesn’t mind sleeping so close to you.”

She flushed lightly. “I didn’t really mind it, either.”

Even though Din knew that they’d admitted their feelings for one another the night before, as well as slept in each other’s arms, he still couldn’t believe that they were having this particular conversation, that she was happy to be having the conversation with him. It was almost too hard to fathom the fact that she wanted him.

“I still can’t believe this is happening.”

“Me, neither,” she replied. “After thirteen years, I was about to accept the fact that you didn’t feel the same as I did. I almost… I almost quit going with you on bounty hunts a few years ago because it hurt so much, but then I realized I’d rather have you as a friend than not have you at all.”

That would have been heartbreaking, Din realized. If she’d given up on him before he’d worked up the courage to tell her he loved her… it didn’t even bear thinking about. The fact that he’d almost let it happen by being too afraid to say anything gnawed at him. He didn’t even want to consider the alternative.

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Me, too.”

“And I’m sorry it hurt you.”

She shook her head slowly. “There’s no need to apologize. I could have said something, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to mess up what we already had.”

“I know what you mean. I didn’t think there was even a chance that you felt the same and I didn’t want to risk our friendship.”

She smiled at him. “We’re such idiots.”

Din laughed. “You’re not an idiot.”

“That’s debatable.” She laughed softly, then gazed at his helmet for a few moments before she blushed and glanced away, lightly clearing her throat. “Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! Talking about our favorite parts of last night. Oh, and agreeing that the sardine can is fine for sleeping… for now.”

“At least until you get tired of sleeping so close to me.”

“I’m never going to get tired of that, Din Djarin.”

“You say that now, but when your leg starts to cramp or your arm goes numb and you can’t roll over, you might change your mind.”

“Nope, not going to change my mind. Not even leg cramps could make me want to stop sleeping so close to you.”

Din couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. “Not even leg cramps, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Good to know.”

“Do you want to figure out new sleeping arrangements? Because it’s okay if you do,” she added in a rush.

“No! No, I definitely don’t have a problem with sleeping so close to you.”

“Even if your leg cramps or your arm falls asleep?”

“My arm fell asleep last night and it definitely didn’t make me want to stop sleeping with you.”

Din chuckled at the look of consternation on her face. “Your arm fell asleep? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal. You were sleeping peacefully and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Yeah, but your arm was asleep. That couldn’t have been comfortable.”

“It was totally numb, it wasn’t bothering me.”

Lira sputtered out a laugh. “But still.”

“How about this? I promise if I’m ever uncomfortable, I’ll wake you up.”

“Sounds good.” She continued to smile at him for a moment before adding in a softer voice. “Should we talk about the more serious stuff now?”

Din sighed. “Which serious stuff?”

“You almost died yesterday, Din,” she said quietly. “Do you need to talk about that?”

“I’m okay.”

“I know you’re okay, but are you okay?” She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “Really okay?”

He stared at her hand on his for a moment before slowly answering her. “Yeah, I mean - yeah. I’ve been in dangerous situations before. It’s not something that’s new to me.”

“Yeah, but… have you ever been that close to death?”

“Probably. Probably been that close to death more times than I’ve even realized, honestly.”

She squeezed his hand. “You sound so nonchalant about it.”

He shrugged a shoulder almost imperceptibly. “It’s not that I’m nonchalant about it or that I don’t care, it’s just - I’ve lived with the knowledge that I could die at any moment, during any given battle, on any given day for years. I’m not invincible. I’m a Mandalorian, a bounty hunter. Fighting has been my life for almost as long as I can remember. It’s who I am, Lira. I don’t want to die, but I’ve had to accept that it’s going to happen one day. Yesterday was just a little closer to it than most days.”

Lira swiped a tear from her cheek with her free hand. “I don’t like the thought of you dying. And when I thought you were going to yesterday? I almost couldn’t go on. I wouldn’t have been able to go on if it hadn’t been for Cara and Greef. I just - it’s hard for me to come to terms with that part of you.”

“I know. I wish it didn’t have to be that way, but it comes with the territory when you’re a Mandalorian. Even if I stopped the bounty hunting, I can’t change being a Mandalorian. Wearing this armor, it attracts danger. People see it and they want to take their chances. They want to be the one to beat a Mandalorian, they want to be able to brag about it.”

She flashed him a small smile through her tears. “I bet it rarely goes their way.”

He chuckled softly. “Never.”

She sighed, then said, “I know what being a Mandalorian and bounty hunter means. I’ve been hanging around you for over thirteen years, so I know. But you always seemed so powerful, so capable, like you could never be beaten, and yesterday just proved that you can be hurt, and I don’t like that. I wish I could protect you and keep you safe from everything, but I know I can’t.”

“You’re right, you can’t.” He turned his palm up and laced his fingers with hers. “Is this a deal-breaker? Me being a Mandalorian, always living with danger around every corner - is it too much?”

She squeezed his hand and shook her head. “No. No. It’s not a deal-breaker at all. I don’t want to see you hurt, and I’ll always worry about you, but no, it’s not a deal-breaker. I love you, and it’s going to take more than a little danger to make me leave you.”

Din released the breath he’d been holding as she spoke. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“And,” she hesitated, biting her lip before continuing, “do you want to talk about IG-11? How - how did he save you?”

He sighed, swallowing in an attempt to keep his tears from falling. “He, uh, used bacta spray on my injury.”

She raised a brow, her eyes widening slightly in sudden realization. “Your injury - it was… it was on the back of your head, right? The blood… there was so much blood on Cara’s hand.”

“Yeah, that was the worst of it.”

“So if he used the bacta spray on your head…”

“He removed the helmet.”

She gasped and squeezed his hand again. “But he’s a droid, so -”

“So it doesn’t count.” Even as he said the words, they felt wrong, so he tried again. “I mean, it did count. It does. It just - it doesn’t mean I can’t put the helmet on again. He isn’t - he wasn’t a living thing so I didn’t break the Creed.”

Lira breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, good.” She shook her head sadly, then added, “Are you okay with that? Even if he was a droid, he was still the first to see you without it in so many years. And then he sacrificed himself for you and the little one. That’s a lot to cope with - are you sure you’re okay? And then - oh stars, and Kuiil. He was your friend, too. I’m sorry you lost so much yesterday.”

Din hadn’t let himself dwell on what he’d lost the day before, on how much more he’d almost lost - he’d only allowed himself to focus on the good parts - on Lira telling him she loved him, holding him in her arms as she slept. But he knew he needed to deal with the bad parts, too. He just didn’t want to do it yet.

“Thank you,” he finally said. “I’m okay, though.” She raised a brow and he laughed softly. “All right, I will be okay. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life and it never gets any easier. Kuiil and IG-11 both sacrificed themselves for me and the kid, and there’s nothing I can do to bring them back. All I can do is try to honor their sacrifices the best way I can.”

She smiled sadly and nodded at him. “You’re right.”

Din cleared his throat. “Can we talk about the good stuff again?”

Her smile grew a little bigger and she laughed softly. “Which good stuff?”

“The stuff that involves me and you.”

He tugged on her hand very gently, wanting to close the distance between them, wanting her closer, but letting her make the decision of whether or not she wanted to move closer to him. She stared down at their clasped hands for a moment before biting her lip and lifting her eyes to meet his gaze again.

Without releasing his hand, she stood and took a step closer to him, and another, until she was standing right at his knees. She arched a brow in question, and he pulled her down onto his lap without speaking. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and he enveloped her in his own arms.

Lira thought she might pass out from the sheer delirious happiness she felt. She couldn’t believe they’d talked, that they’d finally admitted to having feelings for each other, that she was sitting on his lap, wrapped in his arms.

It felt like a dream, but there was no denying the solid feeling of him in her arms. She felt Din slide his hands up her back and she shivered, though his hands were gloved and above her shirt and jacket. He wasn’t touching her bare skin at all, and yet it felt like his touch was branding her all the same.

She sighed softly and tightened her hold on him, never wanting to let him go.

Din’s modulated voice was quiet when he spoke again. “Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of doing this?”

Lira smiled. “How long?” she whispered.

“Almost as long as I’ve known you.”

She pulled back enough so that she could see his helmet. “Really? That long?”

He hesitated for a moment before answering her. “Yes.”

“But you never… you never acted like you were thinking about… about me like that.”

He shook his head at himself. “I didn’t think you felt the same so I didn’t want to make things weird between us. I didn’t - I didn’t think I deserved to tell you something like that when there was no way you could be happy with me.”

She stared at his helmet’s visor for a moment, her brows drawn together. “You know that’s not true, right? Stars, Din, why wouldn’t I be happy with you?”

“I just thought - I don’t know. I thought that what I did for a living would scare you away. I’ve had to kill people. You’ve seen me kill people. At first, I didn’t even think you’d want to be friends, I just thought you tagged along with me for the same reasons you went with all the other bounty hunters. It was just another job for you. I was just another job for you.”

“You have never been just another job for me, Din.”

“Never?”

“Okay, maybe the first time was just another job.”

He laughed softly. “I didn’t even want you to go with me that first time.”

Lira smirked. “Oh, believe me, I haven’t forgotten that.”

“So the second time wasn’t just another job?”

Her smirk grew a little more. “No, not really.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. There was just something about you. I was intrigued.”

“Intrigued?”

“Yes. And, honestly, part of it was that I knew you didn’t really want me going with you and I was determined not to back down just because you were a tough Mandalorian.”

“So the only reason you kept going with me was because you were being stubborn and wanted to put a Mandalorian in his place?”

“Basically, yes.”

“I’m glad you’re so stubborn then.”

Lira laughed. “Yeah, me too.”

“When - when did you realize?”

Lira’s smile softened at the hesitant way he asked the question, as though he still wasn’t quite sure it was true.

“When did I realize I loved you?”

“Yes.”

She bit the inside of her lip as she considered. “There were so many small moments when I think I knew but didn’t even want to admit it to myself because I thought it was pointless, but I think the first time I started to really realize it was after you saved me from the sand wastes. The next time I saw Greef, he told me how much the puck he offered you was worth, and he couldn’t believe you’d turn down something that was worth that much. He said you would have been set for years, Din. He didn’t know why you left so suddenly, but I did. I knew it was because of me.”

She glanced down then back up at his helmet with tears in her eyes, whispering, “I knew you gave up those credits so you could save me.” She brushed a tear away with her hand, then laughed very softly again before continuing, “And then every moment after that just made me fall more in love with you.” She huffed a soft laugh. “Stars, even this moment has made me fall more in love with you. I don’t - I don’t know how I can keep falling more in love with you when I’m already so in love with you, Din.”

He tightened his grip on her waist. It was almost too much, almost overwhelming. Sitting with her on his lap, his arms around her, listening to her tell him just how much she loved him - dank farrik, it was like a dream come true. Something he’d never even allowed himself to imagine because it seemed so far out of reach.

And yet.

“When did you realize?” she asked softly.

He was silent as he thought back to a moment not long after they’d met. “It was… it was after we’d captured one of the bounty targets and were on our way back to Nevarro. It had been a pretty rough day. I’d had… I’d had to be - it was more violent than it usually was.” He swallowed and shook his head. “I hadn’t wanted you to see me that way, and that was when I’d first wondered why. I was used to that being how most people saw me. People saw the armor, they heard the word Mandalorian - they usually came to the same conclusion. Violent, dangerous, a killer. It never really bothered me. And then that day, it did.”

“Oh, Din,” she said softly, lifting a hand to place it gently on the side of his helmet.

“So while I was still grappling with the reason why I didn’t want you to only see me as a dangerous Mandalorian, we got back to the ship and I got us in the air. It was quiet, we weren’t talking. And then I felt - I felt your hand on my arm. I - it was so gentle. I wasn’t - I wasn’t used to anyone being gentle with me.”

Lira’s eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t interrupt him.

“And you asked if I was okay. That was all. ‘Are you okay?’ And that was when I first started to realize, even though it still took me a long time to really admit it.” He stared into her eyes, wishing she could look into his own. “And you still are, Lira. You’re still so gentle with me. It’s - I will never get tired of that. Gentleness isn’t something that any Mandalorian gets to experience often.”

“You deserve all the gentleness in the world, Din.”

She leaned into him again, wrapping her arms around his neck once more.

Din took another moment to savor the feeling of her in his arms, then said, “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

She leaned back again and smiled. “What is it?”

“Yesterday, when we were talking to the Armorer, she named the kid and me a clan of two.”

Lira’s smile grew a little wider. “She did.”

“I don’t take that lightly.”

“I know you don’t. You’re going to be a great father, by the way. The little one already adores you. And I know this is just until you can find the little one’s people, but there’s already a bond between you. It’s really sweet to watch the two of you together.”

“Yeah, he’s great,” he said, still surprised at how much he already cared for the little womp rat.

“Oh, sorry, I interrupted you - what were you saying about it?”

Din knew that they’d admitted their feelings, knew that the chances of him messing things up by what he was about to say were slim, and yet he found he was nervous to say the words. He cleared his throat, buying a few more seconds of time.

“It meant a lot to finally earn a signet, to finally have a clan, but I don’t want it to just be a clan of two. You’re as much my family as the kid is, Lira.” He stared at her for a moment, working up the courage to keep talking. “We’ve been friends for a long time.”

Lira smiled even as her tears threatened to fall. “We have.”

“And I’ve wanted to be more than friends for… a while. I may not have said anything to you, but… I’ve considered you my family for years. I’d be honored if you’d be a part of my clan. Officially.”

Lira bit her lip to try to keep the tears at bay, but it was useless. “I would love to be a part of your clan, Din. It means the world to me that you would want me.”

Din leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side.”

“And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Lira whispered.

They sat in silence for a few moments, foreheads pressed together, holding each other as though they’d never let go, as they let their words settle into truth, as they both absorbed what the moment truly meant.

A clan. A family.

It was what they’d both been longing to have for so long, and now it was theirs.

When Lira finally sat back to look at him, there was a shy smile on her face and a light blush across her cheeks. Things had changed between them, even more than they had the night before when they’d said they loved each other. One might argue that those words and feelings of the night before could have been borne of adrenaline and a brush with death, a moment of passion.

But this - the quiet confession, the weighted question, the soft Keldabe kiss - it was real, and there was no denying the seriousness of it, the mutual relief that the words had finally been said aloud and that those words had been received in the way they’d both been too scared to even dream about.

Lira pulled Din in for another hug, slowly coming to terms with the fact that she could do that now. She could hug him, she could hold him, she could whisper she loved him whenever she wanted. It was a dream made real, and all she’d ever longed for.

Well, not quite all.

“You know,” she murmured against his shoulder. “If you weren’t wearing this helmet, I would kiss you right now.”

Din’s grip tightened around her. “Is that right?”

“Mmhmm.”

His modulated voice was low and it sent a shiver through her. “Is that a promise?”

“It is.”

“I may have been thinking of ways to do that this morning before you woke up.”

Lira grinned as she pulled back to stare at his helmet. “Oh, really, Din Djarin? You were thinking about kissing me?”

“I’m always thinking about kissing you.”

She bit her lip as her cheeks flushed a deeper red. “Did you come up with a way?”

“Maybe. I mean, it isn’t ideal, it isn’t perfect. It - you may not like it.”

“Try me.”

He hesitated before he said the words, still wishing there was a better way. “I thought you might be able to wear a blindfold.”

Both brows shot up at his words. “A blindfold?”

“If you don’t want to, I understand,” he said in a rush. “I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. Forget I said anything.”

Lira sat up a little straighter, and Din loosened his hold on her, thinking she meant to stand, to get away from him. He knew he should have kept those particular thoughts to himself.

“Sorry,” he added, removing his hands from her completely.

He couldn’t even bring himself to look at her face. Embarrassment flooded him completely, and he was afraid that this would finally be the moment he overheated under the helmet and passed out.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s a good idea!”

The tone of her voice gave Din the courage to meet her eyes again. “It is?”

“Yes! I mean, it might feel a little weird at first, but it’s a good idea. I would definitely wear a blindfold to kiss you.”

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or -”

“I want to wear it. I’d do anything to kiss you right now, Din.”

Relief washed over him, and he wrapped his arms around her again as he raised a brow. “Anything?”

She flashed him a teasing grin. “Anything.”

His breathing grew heavier and he nodded. “All you’d have to do is wear the blindfold. I wish - I wish you didn’t have to, but -”

“The Creed, I know. I understand.”

“Are you sure this is something you’re prepared to deal with? Still not seeing my face even if -”

He paused, and Lira raised a brow. “Even if what?”

“Even if we’re together.”

Her smile was bright as she stared at his visor. “Together. I like the sound of that.”

“Me, too.”

“And yes, I’m prepared for that. I’ve known you for over thirteen years, so I know you can’t take off the helmet in front of me. That doesn’t come as a surprise. I mean, I didn’t expect that to change just because we’re together.” She smiled at him again. “I’m prepared to deal with that, and with this -” She tapped the side of his helmet gently. “You’re worth dealing with anything, Din,” she added in a whisper.

Din sighed softly. “I love you, Lira.”

“And I love you. Now, about this blindfold… I think we should try to find one soon.”

Din’s face burned beneath the helmet. “Would it be weird if I said I already have one?”

She laughed, a light blush blooming on her cheeks. “Not weird at all.”

“In that case, I already have one.”

She grinned. “You know, it’s actually very flattering that you want to kiss me so badly that you’ve been carrying around a blindfold all day in the hopes of getting me to wear it.”

“I thought you might be offended by the idea.”

“I think you’re underestimating just how much I want to kiss you.”

“You’re sure you’re okay with it? I promise it’s fine if you’re not, we’ll think of something else.”

“I’m sure. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to see your face, but since that’s impossible, I will gladly wear a blindfold if it allows me to kiss you.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Shhh,” she said softly. “Don’t say that.”

“But -”

“Nope.” She placed a finger on his helmet where his mouth would be, causing him to grin. “Now, let’s see that blindfold.”

“Now?”

“No, next week. Yes, now. Or was this conversation not about you wanting to kiss me?”

“That’s definitely what it was about.”

“Then let’s see it.”

He laughed as more relief coursed through his body. “Yes, ma’am.”

She grinned as he pulled a black piece of cloth out of his pocket and held it up for her inspection. “Okay, so you weren’t lying about carrying around a blindfold.”

“Nope.”

She took it from him and ran it through her hands, her heart swelling with love as she realized that he must have chosen the soft material intentionally.

“Do you want to test it out now?” she asked shyly.

“Yes.”

His voice was low and rough, and Lira felt her face flame as she handed the piece of cloth back to him. “Will you?”

He nodded and brushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyes, lingering with his thumb on her cheek before lifting the cloth and wrapping it snugly around her head.

“Can you see anything?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No, nothing.”

Din turned to make sure the Child hadn’t snuck back into the cockpit undetected while they’d talked, then turned back to Lira. Lira, who was sitting so sweetly on his lap, waiting so patiently, so trustingly, that it almost shattered him. She’d allowed herself to be blindfolded, willing to let him deprive her of one of her senses just to kiss him. No matter what she said, he didn’t deserve her.

He lifted his hands and pulled his helmet off, a slight tremble moving through him as he set it aside and gazed at her face for the first time without it being through the helmet’s visor. He realized at that moment just how much he trusted her. He trusted her with everything, not least of which was the fact that he’d removed his helmet in front of her knowing she wouldn’t remove the blindfold no matter what.

The moment felt sacred, like he needed to tread reverently. He pulled off his gloves, slowly, and dropped them on the console behind Lira. She tilted her head at the movement but didn’t speak. Like him, it seemed she felt the weight of the moment.

He didn’t want to startle her, so he whispered, “I’m going to touch your face now.”

When she nodded, he cupped her cheek, running his thumb along it gently.

She gasped at his touch. “You’re not wearing your gloves.”

“I’m not.”

“Scandalous.” She said as she smiled and lifted her hand to his, moving it to her lips and pressing a slow kiss to his palm.

Din swallowed, then raised his other hand to cradle her head, pulling her forward gently. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

That was all she had time to say before Din’s lips were on hers and he was kissing her as if she was the salvation he needed, the very essence of life he required to survive. A heartbeat later, her arms were wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, and she closed her eyes tight as she felt his own arms wrap around her waist as if he’d never let her go. He held her in his arms so tightly that it was as if he was afraid she would disappear if he loosened his hold even a little. As if she was the only thing tethering him to life.

She felt the slightest tremble of his lips against hers before he deepened the kiss and she lost herself in the sensation of it, of the feeling of his lips on hers, his arms wrapped tight around her body. She wanted to be closer, needed to be closer, but for now, it was enough to kiss him.

Some part of her mind was stuck on the fact that he’d removed his helmet, and even though she was wearing the blindfold, she couldn’t shake the thought that he wasn’t wearing his helmet, but the rest of her didn’t care about that at the moment. She wanted to keep breathing him in, she wanted to lose herself completely in him.

The day before, she’d thought she’d lost him forever, and now he was kissing her as if his life depended on it, as if he loved her as much as she loved him. The thought bloomed through her like a supernova, and she was afraid she was going to combust at any moment. Instead of stopping, however, she kissed him even more fervently.

For the span of a millisecond, Din had been afraid he’d made a mistake by suggesting the blindfold, by even considering asking her to do something like that, but then she’d returned his kiss and he was lost. If she’d asked him to throw himself out of the airlock, he would have done it, but with the way she was clinging to him, with the fire that her lips spread throughout his body, he knew she would never ask that of him.

When his body screamed for air and he finally had to pull away from her, he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

Once he trusted his voice not to fail him, he quietly said her name, lifting his hand to caress her cheek again.

A small smile appeared on her face. “Your voice sounds different without the helmet.”

“Is that bad?”

“Not at all.” She pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then leaned back again. “You have a mustache.”

“I do.”

She grinned and ran a hand through his hair. “And you’re not bald.”

He laughed. “Nope.”

She moved her hand to his face and gently traced his features with her fingers. “Is this okay?”

His breathing grew ragged, and he whispered, “Yes.”

“You have very strong features.”

“Do I?”

“Yes. I bet you’re very handsome.”

Din flushed. “I don’t know about that.”

Lira brushed his cheek with her thumb, and he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes and savoring her caress. “I have no doubts, Din,” she murmured, running her fingers lightly over his lips before kissing him again.

Din could hardly believe that he’d finally found the courage to tell her how he felt and that she was sitting on his lap, kissing him, touching his face. He hadn’t felt the touch of another person in so long that the sensation was almost overwhelming, but he wouldn’t stop her for anything in the galaxy. She was so soft, so tender, that he was close to tears, and he knew he never wanted to go another day without feeling her touch.

He was glad that Lira had agreed to wear the blindfold, but he would have understood if she hadn’t. He wouldn’t have pressed the issue. But stars, he was grateful that she was so understanding, that she didn’t question the Creed or why he held to it.

Lira broke the kiss, leaned her forehead against his, and smiled softly. “How are you feeling? With the helmet being off, I mean. Are you okay?”

He thought about it for a moment as he laced his fingers with hers, caressing her skin with his thumb. He’d worried that having the helmet off in front of her would bother him, that he wouldn’t be able to do it when it came down to it. But now that he’d done it, he found that it was easier than he’d imagined. He would never have even considered it with anyone else, even with the blindfold, but it was different with Lira. The complete trust he felt around her was something he didn’t share with anyone else, and he knew, without a doubt, that she wouldn’t remove the blindfold no matter what happened.

“I’m more than okay.”

Lira’s smile grew a little wider. “Are you sure? If you’re not comfortable without the helmet, it’s okay. I love kissing you, don’t get me wrong. It’s even better than I imagined it would be, but I don’t want you to ever be uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable. I trust you. I hope you know that.”

Lira felt tears well up in her eyes. “I know.”

Din moved his hand to cradle the back of her head again. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Lira.”

Lira bit her lip, her cheeks burning, though they weren’t burning as hot as the rest of her body. “Well, now you’ve got me.”

Her words sent flames licking up his body, and he kissed her again, desperate to quench the fire, though he knew that the flames would only devour him if she continued to touch him.

He found he didn’t care.

He craved the flames as he craved her touch. He wanted to be burned alive by her. If she consumed him completely, he would die a happy man.

Lira broke the kiss again and whispered against his lips, “I love you, Din.”

He felt his heart swell even more, then whispered, “I love you, too,” before kissing her again, losing himself completely in her, forgetting everything else. He didn’t know what the future held, didn’t know where they would be tomorrow, but he knew that no matter what, Lira would be by his side.

And that was all he needed.

[kangaracha]

Definitely didn’t go snooping on your blog and find an ask list from like 2 weeks ago. Nope, not me. 😅

For the WIP ask list (obviously I’m meaning NEVERMORE 🤩)

3. Who’s your favorite character for this chapter/fic?

10. What is the last line of dialogue you’ve written? (Feel free to redact if it’s spoilery 😂)

14. What have you been finding frustrating with writing this chapter/fic?

Custom question, can I get something Felix related out of it? 🥺❤️ (you can say no I guess😒😂)

snoops are my favourite kind of people, get ur nose in there u freak.

3. Who’s your favorite character for this chapter/fic?

oh god. overall chan has been doing a lot of legwork in the early stages of this thing, i appreciate that his character arc is easy for me to keep tabs on and it's so fun to frustrate him. this chapter though, minho is just such a fun excuse to write snappy dialogue and be a little bit. insulting is the wrong word but you know what i mean. teasing, maybe.

seungmin also, he's got that bit of bravery that sends the story forging ahead to discover something new and i love shit like that, i'm always curious to see around the next corner. and he has that merciless humour too, like minho.

10. What is the last line of dialogue you’ve written? (Feel free to redact if it’s spoilery 😂)

"They chase the ghosts away at night," Minho sighs, and then looks up when he feels their collective eyes on him, questioning. Confused. 

"The city's haunted," he says, like that explains it all, and drops his head into his hand again. 

14. What have you been finding frustrating with writing this chapter/fic?

the word counts. keeps and i have been discussing this at length - i really don't know if it's this new site we've been using or just that the worldbuilding and characterisation for 8 main characters is so immense that there's no choice but to give it the space i've given it, but like, 20k chapters???? more than once?????? you can tell i've cracked it with a certain chapter when i've started splitting it in parts - like this current one which i genuinely thought would be like 10k, and is currently TWENTY SIX THOUSAND WORDS. UNFINISHED. which is why we are on part 3 looking down the barrel of part 4. one day, we will reach miroh, but not until we crack 30k for this chapter.

Custom question, can I get something Felix related out of it? 🥺❤️ (you can say no I guess😒😂)

i have been agonising over this all DAY, i only have the chapter after next pre written and a bro hasn't really shown up in either of those chapters in a meaningful way yet (don't get sad there's just a certain circumstance that happened in the next chapter that meant we had to focus on someone else for a while xD) so i just simply have no bonus felix content to offer and that kills me, i wanna give you something so bad

i'll tell you what i told keeps the other day; while i don't need felix for much of part 1 (have i told you nevermore has three parts? nevermore has three parts), there is a lot of him coming in the side effects/yellow wood arc. that's your jam babe, just stick with me i'll get us there i swear. also, he's my main guy for part 2, can't do it without felix.

[thetracksatchristieroad]

How I Became a Swiftie in 7 Days

I’m going to keep leaning into this Taylor Swift stuff right now because between the release of Midnights and this whole Eras Tour fiasco, Taylor has been a predominant thing on my brain. In light of that, this is a blog post I wrote going on 2 years ago now, back when I was super convinced TikTok was going to be my THING. While I’ve sort of stepped away from TikTok for the time being, I still feel like some magic was created when I made my “How to Become a Swiftie in 7 Days” series and was completely overwhelmed by the attention and support from the swiftie community. Since I originally wrote this piece, my blog where it lived has become no more, and I’ve been pretty sad for awhile that this piece has stayed hidden away in my drive folder, so I’m resurrecting it here:

Right now I’m sitting in my room with a still steaming mug of chamomile lavender tea. Waiting in dim candlelight hoping to summon a moment of solace after an impossibly stressful few weeks. The last time I found myself in this place was the summer night I first listened to Folklore by Taylor Swift. Heart full of desperation, curiosity, sadness, and just under all the anxiety, hope. That was where Taylor Swift’s music found me.

In the winter with a tired mind, body, and soul, I found just enough creativity and courage to give TikTok a try. That’s where Taylor Swift’s fans found me.

I was a sophomore in high school when I first heard of Taylor Swift. We had a substitute teacher in my health class that day and he’d just attended the concert of a young, up-and-coming country singer. He raved about the young girl’s songwriting talent: “She said she wrote that song when she was thirteen, and you know what, that song was good too”. Too bad I didn’t listen to country music.

A few months later, I went with my older cousin to watch her get tattooed. We rode in her boyfriend's truck and she told me she loved the song currently playing through the speakers. Our song is a slamming screen door, sneaking out late, tapping on your window. I simply nodded and smiled because I didn’t like country music.

In my junior year of high school I watched the music video for “You Belong With Me” all the way through more than once, but I’d never tell a soul because my friends knew I didn’t care for country music.

In college I could hear the girls down the hall of my dorm building jamming out to Speak Now and reminding myself that I wasn’t like them. 

As a college graduate in 2014 I watched music writers I knew place 1989 near and even at the top of their favorite albums lists knowing that I didn’t like Taylor Swift but sometimes finding myself mumbling the words to “Blank Space” and wondering if I was missing something.

I was.

My first realization was that summer night of 2020, listening to Folklore by candlelight. Swift’s narrative driven lyrics woven together by gentle and enticing melodies. Did I really ignore such beauty for more than a decade? I had to fix it.

So at the beginning of 2021 I spent seven days listening to the seven Taylor Swift albums that I had yet to listen to, and I decided to bring TikTok along for the ride. I posted a video on New Year’s Day explaining this dive into Taylor’s discography, not sure what to expect. I definitely didn’t expect thousands of likes and views and around a thousand new followers. Clearly when it came to Taylor Swift I’d missed quite a lot.

In seven days I listened to all seven albums, from the beginning of her career to just before Folklore. I listened to Taylor's stories of love and heartbreak and growing up. I listened as Taylor learned that love is real, but it’s not a fairytale. I felt with Taylor as she took her deepest lows and turned them into her greatest strengths. All the while, her fans told me what her songs meant to them, about the drives they took, the tears they cried, and the hope they’d found.

After experiencing Taylor’s introspective and poetic storytelling for myself, I understand why so many people are drawn to her as an artist. There’s something so magnetic about the world she paints for herself and it’s hard not to get sucked into the force field.

Turns out I like country music, and I love Taylor Swift. I wish I could go back to that truck ride with my cousin and turn the volume up on “Our Song”. I wish I could tell my college-age self that I’m exactly like those girls down the hall. I wish Taylor Swift could’ve landed in my favorite albums well before Folklore. I wish I could’ve let myself love Taylor sooner, but I’m glad I’m here now.

*Photos are taken by me, quotes are from TikTok

[kusumsays]

खम्मा घणी ;

घणी खम्मा

Rajasthan - a land that shows the culture it owns with pride, colors and a cherished tradition towards its Mehman. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kusum-says-khamma-ghani Udaipur (Day 1) What is not said already about this city which I can write? The city which proudly exhibits Maharana Pratap or the city with a magnificent history or the city with lakes, isn't it? I would say a city that welcomed me with mountains and took me to lakes where the lakes were surrounded by walls of the palace and the lakes with monuments in the mid of the serenity and with everything around, I went back in history all the way long. It felt different from all the other days. Watching the sun setting by lake side and the night lights reflecting themselves in the waters was mesmerizing in its own ways. My day ended well with a beautiful evening. Tired of last night at airport and full day in the city, I slept right away as Chittorgarh was on the list for the coming day. Chittorgarh (Day 2) My buddy woke me up at 6 a.m. in the morning and I cherished myself in yellow bandhani. With all the Rajasthani songs in the car and the chats with our driver bhaiya, we reached Chittorgarh fort. While getting closer to the fort, it looked humongous and beautiful. It looked royal. When I finally got in and started listening to the stories of the kingdom of Mewar rightly told by our guide, I realized the world has always been a harsh place to live in and yet beautiful enough to forget its harshness. The temple of St. Meera Bai - Devoted to Lord Krishna, she was a queen, a poetess and most importantly, a devotee. Her stories mesmerized me while walking inside the temple she used to pray to the Lord - queen who left the kingdom and mysteriously disappeared somewhere in the Lord's world. Sleeping Monkeys - Right outside the temple where St. Meerabai used to pray to Lord Krishna, I spotted a group of monkeys and, surprisingly, all of them were asleep in the sunny day. The magnificent fort walls of VII century A.D. - there are no words to describe it, it was my favorite part of the entire trip and simply sitting on the top watching them is all one needs to experience the beautiful feels of Chittor. Johar - the ritual performed by thousands of ladies and queens of centuries - listening to these stories, the dark historical side I felt and, something inside of me wept a bit when the cruel war was perceived. Padmini palace - in the mid of the pond blooming with lotuses, the queen Padmini stayed once whose mere reflection won the heart of the Mughal Emperor which let to the war and took lives of many including her own. Beauty, indeed, took lived. She is gone and her story has lived on. Vijay Stambh - this beautiful victory monument was once accessible to be climbed till the top but nowadays, one is not allowed to climb up. I, sadly, missed the city view from here :( but never the less it was fascinating to look at the beautiful architecture. Sitaphal Sarees - This area boasts of the custard apple plantations and the fabric made out of custard apple seeds. Surprisingly, it was a delightful experience interacting with the local artisans and their works. One of the lady workers who hailed from Kota called me 'Mantri Bai' and gave her blessings to me and such small moments were priceless, indeed. After all of it, I pleasantly had dal bati churma with gatte ki sabji at the foot of the fort and while getting inside the car to leave from there, I smiled at the fort and waved a bye. Watching the sunset from the car and listening to the Rajwadi songs, I captured the memories in my heart. From the stories told by our driver bhaiya, I captured the stories in the lives of people living there and I realized that more or less, we all are on the same page and choosing love over practicality is the only way one can live and make it till the end.

Fateh Sagar (Day 2) On reaching back to Udaipur from Chittorgarh, I halted at Fateh Sagar lake to grab a cup of coffee and checked a local shop to collect more memories for family. The moon accompanied me all the way.

Jodhpur's Mehrangarh (Day 3) On reaching Jodhpur early in the morning, I embarked on the trail embracing the tradition of Indian attire. Soothing musical entrance at Jawant Thada and Mehrangarh fort welcomes everyone as they truly say 'Padharo Mhare Des'. Men in colorful turbans and women in Rajputi poshak beautifully depicted their culture, traditions and simplicity. On seeing the musical instruments and listening to the folklores, winds of Jodhpur played along as I watched the city blues from the temple of Goddess Chamunda at the top.

Jaisalmer's Sand Dunes (Day 4) The smiles dazzled in the sand dunes of Jaisalmer with the moon, the cultural program and the adventures in the dessert especially when my camel started running for a while and the desert safari. I celebrated my time by grooving with the artists on the tunes of 'Ghoomar' knowing it is the last day of my trip. I returned back with smiles on my face while waving the desert a bye. Truly unforgettable times! Much more to see, Cheers to the upcoming Rasjasthan exploartion!

[untaemedqueen]

Take One (M)

Pornstar!Yoongi x Fan Fiction Writer!Reader

Genre: Strangers To Lovers!AU, Smut, Fluff

WordCount: 24k

Warnings: Masturbation, Fingering, Big Dick!Yoongi, Slight Dom!Yoongi, Degradation (Slut, Cum Slut), Spanking, Sex Against A Wall, Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Phone Sex, Edging, Pussy Slapping, Daddy Kink, Hair Pulling, Cock Slapping, Cum Swallowing, Love Making, Marking, Body Worship, Cunnilingus, Face Fucking, Multiple Orgasms, Possessive!Yoongi, Forced Orgasm, Doggy Style, Impreg Kink

A/N: Again the biggest shout outs to my crew @ppersonna​​, @ladyartemesia​​, @xjoonchildx​​ who are constantly rooting for this fic to come out. I love my ladies so much!!!!!!!

There are three things which Yoongi was certain of. One, he was a big star in his field of work. Two, he had a huge cock, one to rival many of the largest names in his industry. Three, he can only find pleasure these days in written word. 

He has seen so many bodies in his career. So many different women and men that he cared very little for the human form. Now, written word where he could just simply envision a woman of his choosing doing what is described in twelve font Ariel Black ink. That is where he finds his pleasure.

He found himself after a long day on set, looking for mental relief. People make fun of his job, but it's incredibly taxing on one's spirit. He tried for years and years to be not only the best porn star in his field, but the most talked about. He succeeded after not too long, one utterly embarrassing title called 'Little Cat, Bowl of Milk' skyrocketed his success and had people coming back time and time again to his profile on all the major porn sites. He began to realize that success was eating at his bones. He so often found himself not being able to cum as he fucked his co-star half way to Sunday. 

It wasn't about being the greatest anymore, or having the biggest cock in the industry. It was about actually being able to cum without the prop team having to strap a tube on the underside of his cock and pump out this incredibly realistic looking paste that actually looks like jizz. It was practically degrading. And yet, Yoongi only found himself orgasming through reading. 

It was a random happenstance as he was scrolling online. Just looking at a few different blogs on Tumblr before finding a link in their biography stating 'Masterlist'. Finding himself intrigued he clicked on the link, the girl with the pen name Nevermore had countless series of books. She was great at writing, truly understanding her character's complexity and portraying it in such a way that had Yoongi constantly on the edge of his seat. But above all, the sex scenes she wrote were so erotic; so completely entrancing that he began to lose himself in her stories. He had never cum harder than before he read the words she so ardently wrote.

Jumping onto his couch, his feet find their place on the arm as his hand rests beneath his head. "I wonder what's up with Kyla and Bjorn today." He whispers to himself before sipping his beer. Every day of the week waits with bated breath to be Sunday. Nevermore publishes every Sunday at 8 o'clock and Yoongi never misses it. He will even stop a late filming just to read her new chapter. 

Stopping by her blog fills him with a sense of renewal. He first checks her updated page before anything else. She seemed to have an almost poetic soul within her, as if her fingers poured out earnest sentences with cryptic and riddled meaning. It's her latest post that catches his attention, first and foremost, before he can even click on the book's masterlist. He sips his beer as he peruses the post.

Coming Tuesday - Take One. 

Pornstar!Min Yoongi x Reader

Author's Note: I usually research heavily for smut to make it seem the most realistic as possible. I looked into porn to get a sense of what pornstars go through day to day and came across Min Yoongi. Eajsidicjeisoc HE'S UNBELIEVABLE! So the next book will be a fan fiction based on him. And believe me when I say I'M A FAN.

Beer goes flying out of his mouth. Sitting up quickly, his eyes widened at the text. 

"EXCUSE ME?!" He yells loudly before putting his hand over his mouth. 

A voraciously nervous giggle escapes him as his eyes flit to the popcorn ceiling. "Me? She's seen me?" He doesn't know whether to be astonished or incredibly flattered. He was a mere reader, one of the thousands that follow her blog and here he was being featured in one of her gorgeous stories. Would she write him like he is or turn him into a sex god? Someone completely void of feeling like Bjorn? Or someone absolutely brimming with possibility like Kyla? His bottom lip purchases between his teeth as he lets out a happy groan. I guess Tuesdays would be the days to look forward to now.

Sweat builds upon Yoongi’s lean frame as he snaps his hips into his co-star once more. His arm muscles shake as he holds himself above her thin frame, “You like that? Hmm? Like getting pounded by your sister’s husband? You’re such a fucking slut.” He recites his script before wrapping his hand around her neck. She whimpers out, botoxed lips parting for air as she keens loudly.

“Yes! Fuck! More, I’m such a little slut. I want you to fuck me so hard!” She whines and he can feel his energy slipping from him. This isn’t exciting. This doesn’t get him off. It was a trivial part of his job. He knows she’s enjoying it, the way she drools isn’t prompted. The way her eyes roll back every time the head of his cock meets her cervix folds isn’t scripted. He used to savor that. He used to adore fucking his co-stars stupid, making them forget their lines so he could take a break and edge his orgasm away before pile driving into them like a frenzied maniac. Now he just wishes she could hurry up and cum so he could get to the blog. It was Tuesday after all. 

“Oh Christ.” He murmurs out as she cums on his cock for a third time. Her cum squirting onto his thighs as she screeches to the heavens. The camera was solely focused on her battered pussy. And so, with that knowledge he closes his eyes. Picturing, or trying anyway, how Bjorn took Kyla into the fish hut after their summer raid. How he laid her down on the bed of hay and let his wild freeness overcome him. The way he ran his fingers over her nipples deftly. Deftly, that was a word used in the books often that he found himself loving. He remembers reading in obscene vividity how tight Kyla was for Bjorn, signifying that she had not been with a lover since he went to raid England. 

Yoongi finds himself gasping gently as he pictures the scene written just weeks ago by Nevermore’s beautiful hands. His cock was thickening just at the thought and he lets out a loud groan. Pleasure seeping into every nerve of his body as his teeth clamp down on his bottom lip. Picturing someone else beneath him, someone more supple to the touch. Someone who was simple and adoring being underneath him because they wanted to be. 

Alas, he’s ripped from his impending orgasm as his co-star scrapes her ridiculously sharp nails over his arms. He lets out a defeated sigh before opening his eyes. Jaw going slack he waves in the prop team. It’s still disgusting to him, the feel of the tube beneath his cock twitch and pulse as the paste emits from below him. It smells like glue. 

He gives a loud moan, something the director would say is beautiful as the paste lands on the folds of her pussy. He pulls away from her, ripping the tube out from beneath him as she giggles to the camera. Her index finger sneaks its way into her mouth and she gives a ginger bite to it before sighing happily. “Thanks Yidu.” He murmurs before grabbing a pair of boxers from his manager.

“What’s the matter, Yoongi? Can’t seem to get off?” Yidu calls to him as she sits up on her elbows. 

“Not with you or with anyone.” He mumbles to himself before shoving open his dressing room door. 

“What’s wrong with you?! Yidu is hot, man!” His manager, Hoseok says as he closes the door behind them. Yoongi rolls his eyes as he digs into his jacket before pulling out his phone. 

“Hobi. I told you. It’s hard to get off anymore, it’s just so… so-”

“Trivial? Come on, Yoongi! You just had one of the hottest A list porn stars beneath you!” Hobi says before handing Yoongi his coffee as he sits down in the arm chair.

“Then you go fuck Yidu. Give her a good seeing too.” He mumbles as he unlocks his phone. Hoseok scoffs loudly before throwing himself down onto the loveseat. 

“Yeah right! She’d never want to be with me after your eleven inch cock was deep in her kidneys.” Yoongi snorts at his comment before turning around to him. 

“It’s eleven and a half inches. I wish you would get it right.” He jeers before sipping his coffee.

Hoseok didn’t leave him alone for the rest of the afternoon. So, he had to wait with bated breath to read the new book until he got home. Which he finds agreeable since he would want privacy anyway. He’s kind of nervous. Isn’t it odd to read a book about yourself? As flattering as it is? 

What if the book painted him out to be this sex craved monster? He takes a deep breath before unlocking his phone. “Okay.” He whispers before crossing his legs and throwing them up on the couch.

There’s something magical about meeting the right someone. Captivating, even. The way irises flit between one another in a moment of glorious silence. The breath that is held within one’s chest as you stare longingly at the other person before you. Hands could shake from nerves, excitement- both, even. It had never happened for Min Yoongi. Until you. 

Yoongi clears his throat before leaning deeper into the couch cushions. There it is. The master at work. Painting him to be a god among men. A small smirk finds its way on to his lips as he settles in for more.

It took a second to notice him. To see him in a sea of moving bodies. He was a gentle breeze in a vast desert. And, in that second you yearned to know him. 

He was tall. Taller than you by all accounts. His hair was black and long, the gentle spring breeze blowing his bangs into his eyes as he leans against the hotel door waiting for his car. 

Expensive. That’s a word that could describe him even in the darkest of nights. The way his leather jacket clung to him, highlighting his biceps. Even his sunglasses screamed exorbitant. With one foot pressed against the foggy glass of the door, you found yourself walking towards him without any care for yourself. 

His jeans hung low, the crisp white t-shirt he adorned barely covering his pale skin underneath.

“Someone’s been watching ‘To Meet A Man’, hmm?” He quips as his thumb trails slowly over his bottom lip. He was already hooked. Seeing himself as the character and yet, completely setting himself outside of it as well. He was torn between the two and he feels as if he could go on this way forever. 

Stopping in front of him, he tilts his head towards you before smirking. “Can I help you, little one?” His voice was like the sound of a harp. Sharp and melodic. 

“You’re standing in front of the door.” You reply. Your index finger pointed at the foggy glass beneath his foot. He opens his mouth for a fraction of a second before nodding. 

“Thought you recognized me.” He murmurs to himself, opening the door to let you into the hotel. 

“I bet you’d like that.” You smile at him, black sundress rippling through the breeze before entering the hotel. 

“Yes. I think I would like that.”

God, this was enthralling. His toes curl as he reads on. Loving the picturing being painted already. How is it that you made this Min Yoongi so incredibly bold and attractive? How is he not this attractive? 

Yes, okay. He was hot. Undoubtedly. He knows that. But, he never flaunted it if he wasn’t on camera. This Min Yoongi was confident and sound. Surely he could cum on command without having to think of book characters to maybe do it. 

Yoongi wishes he was like his book counterpart. He’s a fan of him.

Stepping on set, he takes in the scene before him. This is something his character in Take One would be into. Tying up his woman Y/N. Pleasing her through and through, making her beg for more just because he could. 

Sipping his coffee he hums to himself as his hand runs over the silken sheets of the prop bed. “Wow. Big budget.” He jokes to Hoseok who snorts as a reply. 

“Your co-star is here.” Hoseok whispers before nodding across the set. Yoongi takes off his leather jacket before looking her over and he internally groans. Nothing like how he pictures Y/N at all in the book. 

“Fine.” He mutters out as he hands his leather jacket to Hoseok.

“When did you start wearing leather?” His long time friend asks as he sniffs the jacket. Yoongi shoos him away before running his fingers through his hair. “Mind your business, Jung!” He snaps before taking off his sunglasses.

He’s worked with this porn star before. She was hot, obviously. The kind of hot that screams high maintenance. And she always brought her dog to set. Which was odd. Also, annoying. Every time it yaps, they would have to start the scene over which for Yoongi used to be great but now, he feels an impending sense of doom as the chihuahua opens its mouth. “Yoongi!” 

Oh yeah, her voice was really high pitched. Something that could break a wine glass if she tried to sing opera. “Candy.” He whispers before kissing her cheek.

He used to be fond of her. Hell, they’d even gone on a date once after they filmed a marriage scene together. She was not for him. Not for anyone that had a clear thinking mind and that could count above fifty. “I’m so excited! You remember Tiberius, don’t you?” She asks as she holds up her dog. 

The small dog growls at Yoongi as he gives a half hearted chuckle, “Of course I do. Hi...Tiberius.” He retracts his hand harshly as the dog nips at the air.

“Let’s go get you dressed. Hmm?” Hoseok asks, hooking a hand over his shoulder. He hums to him as they walk towards his dressing room. “Please, kill me now.” He whispers fiercely, earning a loud laugh from Seok as he pushes open the door. 

Running his hands over Candy's body, he lets out a hum of appreciation. Concentrating on keeping his face steady as the camera pans upward. He pinches her nipples roughly, a gasp emitting through the set as she wiggles her hips cheekily. Would Y/N like that? Would she like his book counterpart to treat her roughly like this? Or would she want to be praised? 

"God, look at your sexy little nipples." He says aloud before slapping her breast. She whines into the camera, pulling on the handcuffs as her legs part wider. "So fucking hard for me." He comments before trailing his tongue around her stiff peaked areola. 

She keens for him and his eyes shut just to shield his eye roll. But as the room fades to black behind his eyelids, he remembers something. Nevermore watches his videos. She watches to get ideas. 

His head turns to the director as he moves out of the way for the camera to take a shot of her wet pussy. "You said free script?" He asks him.

The director waves his hand agreeing before looking back at the monitor. His smirk sends Candy beneath him into a fluster. She eyes him delicately as he spreads her legs. Candy was good at this though, rolling off the cuff with whatever her co-stars do. 

Yoongi taps his palm to her pussy before rubbing slow circles on her clit. "Look at you, baby. Aching for my big cock. You remember when I met you outside of the hotel? In my leather jacket?" She whimpers at the stimulation before nodding. 

"You looked so good for me. I wanted to just tear you apart." He hums at her words before pulling his cock out of his briefs. 

"I asked if I could help you, little one. But it's you who'll be helping me. Suck my cock." He instructs as he shoves his cock towards her face. Saying the lines from Nevermore's story, acting like his book counterpart sends his nerve endings aflame. 

His body tingles with satisfaction and the smile that creeps onto his face is one of pure joy as his cock enters her lips.

Throwing yourself down onto your roommates bed, she raises an eyebrow at you before folding her arms. "What's with the face?"

"Viiii." You whine loudly before burying your head into her pillow. She scoffs gently before laying down next to you. 

"Are you stuck with your writing?" You whinge loudly in agreement before rolling on to your back. 

Twirling her hair around her finger, she snorts gently before leaning against the headrest of her bed. "What part are you on? Hurry up Taehyung is coming over in forty minutes to take me out on a date." 

"Oh Taehyung is more important than your best friend ever that is going through a crisis?!" You faun shock as you sit up on your knees. She laughs, kicking out her feet before rolling her eyes. 

"No. Well...He has a big dick so getting dicked down might be more important but anyway, back to your crisis." Your lips sputter as you giggle before crossing your legs beneath you.

"She's going to have sex with Min Yoongi." You tell her and she hums before tilting her head.

"And? Your smut is hot. Just do what you always do. Fuck her till she's crying." She states plainly and you can't help but chortle at her words.

"But he's a fucking porn star. I don't know how to just-" You intertwine your fingers before smacking them together repeatedly.

"Okay, the word is cohesion. Whatever the fuck that is you think your doing- is gross so please stop that." You pout at her and she pokes your nose before grabbing her laptop with a gentle grunt. 

"Let's get some ideas for your dirty sex romp." She whispers before opening up the laptop.

Skimming through the videos, the thumbnails make your eyes go wide. "How does she do that?!" Viola asks loudly before trying to pick up her leg and put it behind her head.

"Seems like the work of the devil." You murmur before continuing to scroll. 

"Look! A new one! 'Cuffs and Leather.' Sounds lethal." She wiggles her eyebrows at you and you nudge her with a laugh before opening up the video.

Right off the bat it's filthy. And, you can't help the way your body leans in as his hand grazes over her bare sides. "God, his voice is so rich and dreamy." Your roommate comments as he tells her how pretty her nipples are.

Your thighs press together unconsciously before tilting your head. His eyes seem alight with mischief as they look deeply into the camera. It makes something inside of you stir almost innately. "She's pretty." Viola whispers before leaning back against the headrest.

"Look at you, baby. Aching for my big cock. You remember when I met you outside of the hotel? In my leather jacket?" Those words send your heart lurching.

"No fucking way." Viola yells as she sits up quickly. Your head whips to her as your eyes go wide. 

"No way. No FUCKING way!" She screams before cupping her mouth.

"I asked if I could help you, little one. But it's you who'll be helping me. Suck my cock." His voice, the teasing tone sends you rigid. Your throat dries up and all you emit is a squeak as Viola slaps her fingers onto the spacebar pausing the video.

"Oh my FUCKING GOD. Y/N!" Her screams sound foggy to your ears as your heartbeat begins to fill the void of noise. He's seen it. He's fucking READ it. 

Your face goes red as you stare at the screen. Your left eye begins to twitch as Vi presses her hands to your shoulders and shakes you. Her squeals bring you back to reality and you cover your face with your hands. "That's so amazing! He's read Take One!" She cheers happily and you begin to feel sick.

Your stomach rolls, a cold sweat creeping onto your skin as you put your hand to your forehead. "No." You whisper to yourself before laying back onto her plethora of pillows.

"Yes! This is incredible!"

"No." It's weaker this time as she straddles you. Jumping up and down happily and your body moves freely atop the mattress like a limp noodle. 

"Y/N! What are you going to do?!" She squeals as she shakes you around.

"Delete it." You say before looking up at her. She stops for a second before going wide eyed. 

"What?! Delete it?! No! What're you talking about?!" She says quickly as you grab your phone from her bedside table.

"I have to delete it. This is embarrassing. I mean, he has read something I made for myself and-" You go to unlock your phone and Viola scoffs loudly. 

"No! Give me the phone." She says loudly and you begin to wrestle atop her mattress.

"I HAVE TO DELETE IT. HE SAW WHAT I WROTE! I USED MY OWN NAME IN A FIC!" You yell out as you pin her beneath you. But, she has the grip of a strong barbarian as she shoves your phone down her tank top.

"No! If he didn't like it he would have just ignored it! But, if he had enough balls to put it in a porn! Then you know, he likes it! And he doesn't know your name!" She says. 

You grimace at your phone in her shirt before folding your arms. Maybe she was right. Maybe, he did like it. "So what am I supposed to do?" You ask her as she pushes you off of her. 

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she leans in. Fingertip pressing to the tip of your nose as she smirks. "You're going to write the hottest smut in existence and send Min Yoongi, the porn star cumming in his expensive Dior briefs." She says before fishing your phone out of her shirt and throwing it at you.

"That's disgusting." You whine as you wipe your phone. She shrugs before popping a piece of gum into her mouth.

"You've written sex scenes where men run an actual fucking train on a girl and she's covered in like four different types of cum. Get over it." She says before blowing a bubble. You roll your eyes at her before looking back down at the scene. 

He wouldn't have said something if he didn't like it. He would have just gone on with life as it were. "Now go write your cute little brain away." She says before shooing you out of her room.

"What're you going to do?" You ask as you jump out of her bed.

"Get ready to get fucked by Taehyung. Duh." She says before rifling through her closet. 

With a snort you shut the door behind you before sighing loudly. "Okay, Yoongi. It's on." You whisper before cracking your knuckles and walking towards your bedroom.

Yoongi throws himself on his bed. The California King size is way too large for him. It's seen only him for years now and he can't seem to get as comfortable in the constantly cold sheets like he used to.

Propping his pillows up, he leans against the headboard. Tuesday, the greatest day of the week has arrived. He wonders if you've seen the video that was just released. Did you hate it? Were you too caught up to watch it? He has so many questions that he could speak outwardly just to fall on deaf ears and stagnant air. 

Opening up today's chapter, his eyes scan the regular genre and warnings. But the author's note-- that catches his eye.

Author's Note: I SEE that someone really enjoyed the first chapter of TO and for that...I'm very grateful.

He clears his throat loudly before sighing. The smile that radiates off his face would blind even the most ardent sun lover. His fingers tremble, heart beating voraciously inside of his chest. It takes him a second before he's ready to continue on.

"She saw it." He whispers to himself before sniffing gently.

Crossing his feet he scrolls down the page. Eyes reading the words so fast due to sheer excitement that he has to read them over again to absorb their meaning.

It was the coldest of nights when he invited you back to his hotel room. You knew he was only going to be around for so long and you felt the pressing need to see him for as long as you could. 

You had always made fun of coffee dates. Always joking and jeering with the ever so clever roommate you heartily loved. Ana was your rock in a very baron land. She implored you to go on the date with him anyway, knowing his career and who he was. Maybe he would be different than every other man, or maybe he would just be the best lay.

"You thought coffee was only for cheapskates, huh?" Yoongi asks as he ushers you into the hotel room.

With a giggle you past the entrance, "Something me and my roommate Ana have said before." 

He hums understanding before closing the door behind him. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Just because I have the job I do, doesn't mean that I invited you back here to fuck." He says as you shrug off your coat.

He graciously takes it before hanging it on the door hook. "When will I ever get to fuck the esteemed Min Yoongi again?" You quip back to him as you fold your arms.

His smile dazzles you. Sets your breathing irregular as he cards his fingers through his black hair. "Oh, little one. Quite often I hope." He whispers before stepping towards you.

His hands press to your sides, caressing them gently as his head tilts to the side. Cinnamon brown irises flitting from here to there as he drinks you in. His pupils begin to widen, like molten hot tar spreading over the Earth. "I enjoy spending time with you. And, I'm okay with doing just that." He whispers, running his thumb over your bottom lip slowly. 

The smooth pad of his thumb sends your stomach alight with something akin to fire. Burning hot and bright inside of you, you step closer to him. "And I'm okay with being here. With you." 

He takes your words as a confirmation. Pressing his lips eagerly to yours, you find yourself melting in his strong arms. Lips collide, tongues lashing out at one another as you grip tightly at his biceps. 

It's your earnest whimper that sends him into action. His greedy hands grabbing at your thighs before hauling you up easily. "God, your lips are so soft. I bet they'll feel like heaven around my cock." He whispers against you.

His feet pad slowly across the granite floor before you're pressed up against the grey wall of his hotel room. Your fingers knit into his black hair, tugging gently as you angle his face higher. Nipping at your bottom lip, he suckles once coaxing a sweet moan from your throat. "Fuck." He growls as your legs wrap around his waist.

Yoongi chuckles to himself before pulling his erect cock from his briefs. "What're you playing at Nevermore?" He murmurs as his thumb slowly drifts over the reddened tip of his cock. 

His lips trail over your cheek, the kisses erupting a lava like pool within your stomach. Your lips part for air as he suckles away at your collarbone, leaving cherry blossom petals in his wake. "You're incredible." He says, before pulling down the low cupped shirt you wear.

Your breasts spring out, pushed up by the cups and he lets out a wanton groan at the sight. "God, look at your sexy nipples."

He lets out a breathy laugh, fist beginning to jerk at his cock faster. His tongue licks over his lips before moaning. "Oh fuck. She really watched it. So hot." He whispers to the still air of his room. Even with lust filled eyes, he pays attention to every written word. Gasping gently at each moment as he reads it through. 

His lips, colder now against your heated skin, drift over the valley of your breasts. Stopping over each areola to pluck at your stiff nipples. Your gasps elicit the only reaction worthy, his hips thrusting against you with each sound. "Shit." He curses before suckling harshly at the sensitive skin. 

His tongue flicks so fast against your stiff peaks that your head lolls back with heady wanting. It's in this moment that his name rolls off of your tongue. He stops for a second, fingers kneading at your ass before smirking. "Say it again." He commands through gritted teeth before slapping the thick globes beneath his palms.

"Y-Yoongi." You whimper out and his eyes roll back before latching onto your attended breast. His hands bunch up your skirt tugging roughly at the fabric. "You wet for me? Hmm?" 

His fingers dip between your asscheeks, feeling at the fabric of your panties. Your breath hitches as he pushes them aside. Running his fingertips over your folds, you whine out his name. "You're soaked, little one. Jesus." He thrusts a finger into you without warning-

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Yoongi chants as his cock throbs in hand. His phone clatters to the pillow beside his face as his eyes screw shut. "Oh Christ!" He whines loudly before cumming. 

In a sea of stars, he sees the image of Y/N so clearly as he orgasms. Ropes of cum smatter onto his raggedly breathing chest. He gasps loudly before tilting his head to his phone. "Fuck. She's good." He whispers before looking down at his chest and throwing his head back to his pillow.

Yoongi groans loudly as he sits down on set. The Americano in his hand getting cooler by the second as he skims through the script for what seems like the hundredth time. 

"Hoseok tells me you have suggestions." Namjoon, the director says. Yoongi smirks at him before nodding. He holds his hand out to his manager who grunts gently. With a sigh he hands Yoongi the packet of papers before shaking his head.

"This. This is gold. Just read it." He tells the director as he hands him the packet. His thumb skims over the pages before giving a defeated sigh. 

"Okay. I'll read it." He says before looking over at Yoongi's co-star. She smiles briefly, nodding in his direction and he feels a sense of calmness.

His co-star today was one of the better ones. She was sweet, naturally pretty and fun to have banter with. "Lin. Hey." He calls to her as the director skims through the packet.

"Hey Yoongs!" She cheers. Walking over, he finds himself staring at her. She would make a good Y/N, most of the things described in Take One would fit her nicely. She leans against his chair casually before running her fingers through her hair. 

"I heard we might be switching it up." She points her thumb backwards to Namjoon as he continues to read.

"Yeah. I just...read this idea somewhere and I thought it was great." Yoongi announces to her as Hoseok grabs her a chair. 

Sitting down she nods calmly, "What's it about?" 

"Steamy first date sex. Coming back after a coffee date and just fucking up against the wall. It was pretty hot." He admits, thinking back to the sheer amount of cum that landed on his chest because of it.

"You have the arm strength to hold me up?" Lindy jokes as she pushes him with her shoulder.

"You still have those thighs of steel? I might need your help on this one." She gives a laugh before turning her attention to the director. 

"Genius." Namjoon comments as he smacks his palm to the top page of the packet, "Let's do it." 

Yoongi smiles widely before looking at Lindy as she grabs the packet. 

"You're soaked little one. Jesus." Yoongi mumbles against Lindy's neck as he thrusts a finger in without warning. She moans loudly, eyes screwing shut as he expertly curls his finger within her.

His cock was so hard already, knowing you would watch this and knowing that it's from your book. Lindy was quick at learning the lines, expertly acting as the perfect Y/N he could only hope for. 

"Fuck!" She curses, nails gently scraping down his arms. He groans gently, suckling at the column of her throat as he adds a second finger. 

"Your pretty pussy is so tight." He says as he scissors her open, her arousal practically dripping down his hand. 

"Y-Yoongi." The gentle tone in her voice makes his arms quake. Y/N would whimper for him like this he bets. 

Picking her back up off of the wall, Lindy discards her top. It's almost feverishly fast how his lips attach to her nipple. Groping at the skin of her ass, kneading roughly he spanks her hard. She gasps loudly, breasts thrusting towards his face. 

"Once I saw you, I only wanted this. To feel you in my hands like putty. To-" He scissors her pussy open wider for his cock, "-To feel your soaked cunt stretch around my big cock." 

His hand leaves her cunt only to unbutton his jeans. She kisses down his neck, nipping gently at the skin in her euphoric pleasure. "I want your big cock inside of me." 

He groans at her words, pressing her harder into the wall. Cock springing out, he coats the underside in her arousal before lifting her easily by her thighs. "Thighs of steel, get ready." He jokes, almost silently into Lindy's ear and he can hear a gentle snort in reply. 

He positions her entrance above his cock before pressing his lips to hers. The kiss is heated, tongues tangling with one another as he slowly sets her down. Her mouth opens wider at the stretch, his teeth biting and pulling at her bottom lip with a moan. 

"God, you're fucking tight." He mumbles as her hands snake around his neck. 

He was in his element now. Thinking of the book and becoming his book counterpart. Knowing just how crazed Yoongi in the texts becomes at the feel of Y/N's pussy on him. He could practically cum right now on the spot and it sends him into a pleased fury. 

"Y/N." He whispers, closing his eyes. He doesn't realize what he has said until Lindy leans in to him. 

"Easy now, big guy. Don't put your girlfriends name in." His eyes snap open before clearing his throat. 

"Sorry, Lin." He says before thrusting roughly within her. Her hands scramble to grip him tighter as he begins to fuck her for all she's worth.

"Goddammit! You feel so fucking good! Oh shit!" He whines loudly and his eyes flutter shut as he pictures Y/N on his cock. 

Teeth gritting, he rolls his hips filling every nook and cranny of her cunt. She was the perfect vessel for this, transporting him to a cloud high above nine as he bulldozes himself inside of her. Every sound, Lin's gasps and moans send him on the right track of hearing Y/N's voice. She was practically alive off the page for him. 

"Fuck! Your cock feels so good!" She whines as he lifts her hips off of the wall. His tongue licks over his lips as his cock impales her deeper. 

"Rub your clit for me, little one." Bunching up her skirt, she rubs at her clit and he can feel his cock already throbbing. He should keep himself at bay, finish the scene but this was the first time he would be finishing inside someone in almost two years. He can't pass this up.

"Yoongs." Lindy warns as he presses his lips into a straight line. 

"God, little one. You're going to make me cum, your pussy feels too fucking good." He skipped a bunch of lines to get to this one. He can't bring himself to feel sorry though as white hot pleasure courses through him. He could see her behind his shielded eyes, could see Y/N drooling for his big cock as he fucks her. He could hear her whimpers and moans as he fucks her open. 

He could feel Lin's fingers moving in frenzied circles to get off on him and he chokes on a moan as he buries his face into her neck. "Y/N. Fuck. Your pussy is so amazing. Oh, God!" He whines as his cock throbs wildly within her begging for release.

In her heady pleasure, she forgoes chiding him. Instead, she orgasms loudly. Moans ricocheting off the walls of the set as her pussy clamps around his huge cock. "Y/N! Oh shit!" He gasps out loudly as his thighs lock.

He doesn't notice the camera panning to where they're conjoined. He certainly doesn't notice how much he babbles Y/N's name. Lin runs her fingers through his hair, tugging roughly and that's all it takes before he's stuttering inside of her. 

"Oh SHIT!" He yells out as his cock gives a final twitch of pleasure. He cums hard, arms and thighs shaking as her pussy becomes painted white with his seed. Her thighs clamp around him, holding herself up as he practically goes limp before her. His eyes fill with pleasurable tears and he brings himself back to reality to hold her to the wall.

Pulling out of her gently, he finds it immensely satisfying to see his cum finally leak from a pussy after so long. He moves out of the way of the camera before running his fingers through his hair. "Oh fuck." He murmurs realizing now what he's said in his hedonistic pleasure.

"Please cut out Y/N's name." He tells Namjoon who simply nods as Lindy spreads her pussy lips for the camera. She sticks her tongue out at Yoongi and he gives an exhausted chuckle before closing his eyes. Nevermore is the first person to make him cum like this in years.

"You alright?" Lin asks as the prep team cleans her up. Yoongi sighs happily before nodding to her. 

"Oh yeah, I'm great. Sorry I said her name during that." He tells her and she scoffs before rolling her eyes.

"Don't apologize. It felt good to be Y/N." She says before kissing his cheek. 

It felt really good to be Yoongi too.

Sitting down in your living room, it's become a ritual now-- or so Viola says, to watch every new porn Min Yoongi puts out. "This is the most canon like thing that's ever happened in my lifetime." Vi says as she throws herself down beside you. 

She scrolls through the new video playlist before casting it onto your television. Opening a bag of chips, she holds it out to you. 

"I'll probably choke." You murmur as you settle in to watch the new video. She snorts loudly before munching on a chip. 

"This is so exciting. You know, I cancelled a date with Taehyung for this." She informs you before pressing play. Placing a pillow on your lap you bury your chin into the soft fabric before tilting your head to her.

"What's the name of this one?" 

"'Cheap dates.'" She says before throwing the remote onto the coffee table and giving the screen her undivided attention.

"You're soaked little one. Jesus." Yoongi whispers and the embarrassed laugh that bubbles forward is almost ridiculous. You bury your face into the pillow and you get a quick swat on your arm from your best friend reprimanding you.

"Pay attention! He's fingering her." You laugh louder now, picking your head up slowly. 

It's almost like a fever dream. Watching him reenact the scenes you've so earnestly written. After the initial shock and horror of it all, it kind of became flattering. Knowing that he was so into it. There was something inside of you stirring. 

"Goddammit. You feel so fucking good." You say right before he says his line. The overwhelming sense of pride you feel while watching this makes your heart swell. It’s almost as if he was your greatest supporter. It’s a deeper understanding of knowing how connected you are just by the words you write. 

“It really is exactly like the second chapter.” Viola says. Her voice rips you out of your day dream like state. 

You watch as Yoongi becomes almost animalistic, driving himself into the woman wrapped around him. It stirs you, your thighs pressing together inherently as your lips part. 

“He seems like he’s real into it. Look at him.” Your best friend murmurs and you can’t deny her words as he skips half of the scene in his deep seated pleasure. As he buries his face in her neck you can hear his soft grunting and babbling like there’s no tomorrow.

“Y/N.” The end of your name gets tapered off quickly and you sit up quickly at his moan. Your pussy clenches around nothingness, head turning to your roommate as her jaw drops wide open.

“Did you just hear him s-” Your voice is cut off by hers as she leans in to look at the television.

“Oh yeah.” She whispers before covering her mouth with her hand. 

It’s an awkward silence as he finishes his scene. Heart racing at the speed of sound. Your palms begin to sweat as you stare at his lusty haze. Watching his arms and legs shake with bouts of euphoria. “Y/N. This is… I mean… He’s thinking of you when he fucks someone else.” Vi whispers.

“No. He’s thinking of the book character. I’m just Nevermore to him.” You feel a sense of overwhelming pride as he gently sets his co-star down on the ground. Her pussy creams with his cum before the video ends and you find your body hurtling itself back into the couch with a sigh. 

“Post a selfie.” Viola says quickly before throwing your phone into your lap. Your head turns to her in confusion as she waves her arms wildly. 

“What?!” Your voice is exasperated as she moves her hands faster. 

“Post a selfie on your blog and as soon as he likes the post then just take it down.” She says before unlocking your phone for you. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, not truly understanding what she’s trying to get at.

“Why?”

“Because you’re fucking hot and he needs to know what you look like! Just trust me! Did I get the hottest guy in a four mile radius to talk to me by just posting a selfie?” You nod slowly to her and she winks at you.

“Trust me. Just do it.” You shrug before opening up your camera. 

“Pull these babies out.” Viola says as she pulls down your tank top to show your cleavage and you narrow your eyes at her as she shifts you around before humming to herself.

Fixing your hair, you tilt your head and she tuts her tongue beside you. “Just lips and tits.” She tells you and you sigh gently.

“Why?” You ask again.

“Because your eyes are the element of surprise. Just listen to me for once in your life, please.” 

Sighing loudly you do as told, taking a picture of your lips and the curvature of your cleavage. Viola hooks her chin over your shoulder before smiling. “Wow, your boobs look great.” She comments before patting your upper back. 

Opening up Tumblr, you attach the photo before looking at Vi. She grabs the phone before smirking and you read over her shoulder as she types in a comment.

Feeling like Y/N today!

You snort as she posts it, breath catching in your throat as she replays the porn video. 

“What’re you going to do after the shoot?” Yoongi asks his manager as he slings his leather jacket over his shoulders in one smooth motion. He watches Hoseok shift from foot to foot awkwardly. Raising an eyebrow, he leans against the door jamb waiting patiently for a response. 

“I’m actually going out with Lindy today. We...um...Started talking after your last shoot.” Hoseok mumbles. 

Yoongi gives him a gummy smile before clapping him on the back. “Have fun. She’s really nice, seriously.” 

Pulling out his phone, Yoongi takes into account how Hoseok smiles to himself before fixing his clothes. It’ll be good for him to go out with someone. Yoongi knows exactly what it’s like to be lonely. “I’ll head out first then.” Hoseok tells him as he opens up his Tumblr app.

“Have fun, go fuck her so hard she’ll feel it in her kidneys or whatever you say.” Hoseok snorts at his words before tapping his hand against the door frame as he leaves. Picking up his shoulder bag, the first thing he thinks is if Nevermore has watched his latest video.

He hasn’t seen it but he never watches his works after they’re released. There’s something truly cringey about it. Since it was Sunday, a new chapter of Bjorn and Kyla is out. The second to last chapter which seems almost heart wrenching before remembering he has his own story that has only just begun. Clicking on her profile, his legs quake at the image. 

“Oh shit.” He whispers at her selfie. 

She was all natural. No botox like he’s used to seeing. No breast implants. Just Nevermore. And from what he could see, she was right up his alley. There was a small seam between her tank top and breast showing black lace from her bra. His bottom lip finds itself tucked between his teeth as he leans against the door frame. God, she looks cute. Her lips are parted and he imagines his tongue dipping between them, caressing the pink petals. 

His pants begin to tighten and he locks his phone without a second thought.

Getting home for him was almost a blur. Nevermore's lips and chest constantly in the forefront of his brain. Her lips just gently parted as they were, they seemed to hold an innocence to them that intrigued him. She writes such glorious works, the filthiest of sex scenes and she still had this air of innocence. He was so enraptured by a quick glimpse of a photo that he was even wondering if he himself were changing. Changing into a man who wished for something deeper, something fulfilling. 

Throwing himself down on his couch, he unlocks his phone. Her picture was gone from his dashboard and he sighs gently. 

"Damn." He whispers before refreshing the page again. Just a single post from her. Just one line that sent his lips into a full on smile.

Just a taste for you.

It was kind of exciting. This backhanded flirting that you two have gotten yourselves into over a mere book. You would write and he would act. He would moan your name, close his eyes and dream as if he was inside your book. You would write with the intention to see him act it out. 

Yoongi sips his coffee, the first Tuesday he's had off in a long time does not come without excitement. Refreshing your blog, he tilts his head at the new chapter. "What're we getting into today." He whispers before leaning back in his chair.

Softly his fingertips caress your skin, eyes alight with wondrous emotions as you stare at each other in the grandiose bed. The morning sun alerts you, it's golden rays peeking in the window as if to chide you for not having slept all night long.

"I think I love you." Yoongi admits, his voice deep with tiredness as his arm encircles your waist. You begin to smile, eyes creasing with delight. Running your fingers through his black hair, you feel his lips against your shoulder.

"I think I love you too." You whisper before giggling as he straddles you.

"Let me make love to you and show you-" 

"Oh God." Yoongi mumbles as he sets down his coffee. Love? God, what even is that? Now he really wishes that he was like his book counterpart. So sure and sound with himself that he could venture out to find love with other people. It almost nauseates him as he continues reading. Jealousy creeping up inside of him like venom. 

Nevermore's beautifully written words make him seem devoid of feeling anything at all. He wants to be this Yoongi, so badly it's almost eating him alive.

His fingers press the backspace before opening up the messenger page. Clicking on her name he tilts his head as his fingers fly over the keyboard.

Min1993: I don't make love, Nevermore.

Sending the message, he hums to himself. Before he can pick up his coffee he widens his eyes. "Oh fuck! You idiot what did you do?!" He yells before trying to will his phone to unsend the message.

With an exasperated sigh, he throws his arms up annoyed with himself. Shoving his phone away, he buries his face in his arms before scoffing.

"I don't make love." He mocks himself before closing his eyes.

"VIOLA GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" The screech that emits from you earns a clattering in the kitchen and wild cursing. You stand up from your phone as if it has caught fire, both of your hands slapping over your mouth. Your eyes widen at the message, the five words on the screen feel as if they're stabbing you.

"What?!" Viola yells as she stomps into your bedroom. With shaking hands, you point at your phone before swallowing. She hip checks you out the way, drying her hands on the kitchen towel. 

"I just broke the ceramic dish me and Taehyung made at the pott- OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" She screams as she drops the towel. She jumps on your bed, picking up your phone and you close your eyes. 

Writing for him and seeing what he does is one thing. Getting a message from him is clearly another thing altogether. It's with a shaky sigh that you run your hands over your face. 

"He messaged you. I can't believe it and-" She looks over the message before smirking, "He's flirting with you."

With a scoff you look up at the ceiling. Your eyes drift from here to there, not focusing on anything with certainty. Drifting past one of his porns randomly had gotten you here? Flirting with one of the hottest men you'd ever seen in your life. This was like fiction in and of itself. Pushing past your insecurities, your insides clamor with excitement. Arms and legs shaking with adrenaline. 

"Go on! Answer him!" Vi says before pulling you down to sit next to her. Your hands quiver as you take the phone from her, thumbs nervously shivering above the keyboard.

NevermoreWrites: Then what do you do, Yoongi?

"God, imagine if he asks you out on a date? Imagine he fucks you?" She asks, getting comfortable on your bed. 

Her voice falls on deaf ears as you stare at the phone. That nervous niggling beginning to eat at you again. This banter that you'll begin to engage in, where will it lead you? If he wants to meet, you would dare show your face to him? Even after describing Y/N in the books exactly like yourself? 

The insanely loud pop of the Tumblr messenger goes off and you jump from your nervous spell to look at your phone. 

Min1993: I would love to give you some pointers. If you'd be interested. I think myself more of a Bjorn than anything else.

You gasp gently, sending Viola scrambling into your lap. He's read your other books before? Oh God! 

"Amazing! He's amazing! It's official and he has a huge cock!" Viola says before slapping her thighs in a defeated manner.

NevermoreWrites: A Bjorn? Wow, I'm impressed. 

You run your sweaty hands over the knees of your sweatpants. You tilt your head to Viola as she smiles widely. 

Min1993: I've been a fan for a long time Nevermore. Seriously, I have ideas. Give me a call 3721-8724.

Both of you in your room lowly whistle at the same time before laying back on your bed. Your heart beat fills your ears as your roommate giggles. You lay silently for a while before turning to look at one another. 

"So you gonna call him?" She asks quietly as you put your hand over your heart.

"Mhm." You hum to her before beginning to smile. Maybe this project that you began for just yourself is turning into something even bigger than you could ever imagine.

Yoongi doesn't do nervous. He hasn't been nervous since his first audition where he had to have his cock measured. But now, waiting for your phone call, he finds himself incredibly nervous.

Throwing the fourth empty water bottle in the trash, he paces around his kitchen. Even after drinking so much water, his mouth still felt dry. He even put on nice clothes for a phone call. "Something is wrong with me." He whispers to his empty apartment.

This woman, that he's waiting on. The woman he's been a fan of for so long now is going to call him. And, he hopes to the new gods and the old that he doesn't make a fool of himself. Pacing the granite floor of the kitchen, he wills himself to keep his eyes off his phone. Staring at the clock of his oven instead as seconds feel like years. 

It's the ringtone that makes him jump. Knocking over the container of kitchen tools on his counter, he curses before picking up his phone. Taking a deep breath, he answers the call.

"Hello?" His voice is steady, which he is grateful for. But the way his chest vibrates with anxiousness makes him grimace.

"Hi." Your voice is soft. Sending shivers down his spine as he leans against the marble countertop. Your voice sounds so sweet to his ears. 

"Nevermore." The word becomes breathless as he begins to smile.

"Yoongi." 

God, his name from your lips is gold. Shoving off of the counter, his heart finds its regular rhythm. His feet pad to the living room before flopping onto the couch with a sigh.

"I am a big fan of your work." He admits to you. You giggle at his compliment, sending butterflies aflutter in his gut.

“And I am a big fan of your work.” He gives a devious chuckle, his arm finding its way beneath his head as he gets comfortable.

“God, this is nerve wracking.” You say and he can hear your breathless laugh behind it.

The image of your lips, parted ever so slightly and your cleavage come to mind. Swiping his tongue over his lips, he doesn’t find it odd how at ease he has already begun to feel.

“I thought the same thing, but your voice is very calming.” Even without seeing you, he likes to think you’re smiling as widely as he is at his words. 

“Yours too.” You whisper and he can hear shuffling on the other end of the line.

“I really am a big fan. I’ve read all of your books before even seeing that you were writing a series about me.” His fingers play with the hem of his charcoal grey button up shirt as he stares at the ceiling.

“Did I get anything right so far?” You ask him quietly. Your voice was as eloquent as your writing. Every word sounded like a song he never could tire from.

“Some things. I’m a fan of the Yoongi in your book. He’s much braver than me, I like how you portray me. Far better than myself, I’m sure.” He hears you snort gently and he chuckles in return.

“Just because you fuck as a job, doesn’t mean you aren’t human.” You tell him. And, the curse that slips past your lips begins to stir something inside of him.

“You did however get something wrong.” He murmurs, his voice becoming a bit more gravelly as he runs his hand over his chest. The gasp you take, the quick sound has his tongue slowly traipsing along his lower lip as he begins to smirk.

“What did I get wrong?” You ask and the nervousness bubbles through easily. Clearing your throat, he takes that second to chuckle to himself.

“Oh, Nevermore. I don’t make love. I fuck every way till Sunday.” His voice is smooth as velvet, and he finds his cock beginning to stir in his jeans.

“Oh God.” Your voice is faint and you sound like you’re about to pass out.

“I can stop. Or I can show you my ideas on how to make it feel more like me. If you want, we can always just talk about Bjorn or Kyla. What the last chapter is going to be about next week.” He says quickly, hoping he didn’t give you the impression that all he wants is to have phone sex. Because, in all honesty, he doesn’t. He wants to get to know you. Wants to know how your wonderful brain can write such amazing, illuminating things. But, the prospect of you all for him right now is something he cannot pass up.

“No...No. I just haven’t done something like this in a long time.” You admit with a laugh. He chuckles to himself before pulling his arm out from beneath his head.

“We’ll take it slow.” He murmurs before hearing your hum of agreeing.

“Tell me your name. Please.” He hears your unsure hum and he tilts his head. Forehead resting to the couch cushion as he practically feels your hesitant stutter.

“Or don’t. I can call you Nevermore.” He says quickly, hoping to not ruin the mood.

“Y/N.” You whisper.

He chuckles at this. Eyes closing before sniffing. But, you don’t laugh along with him.

“Y/N? Like in the book?” He asks humorously. 

“Yes. Like in the books. My name is Y/N.” Your voice is devoid of any playfulness. Yoongi sits up quickly, fingers carding through his black hair as he nods. You were deathly serious. But, it doesn’t put him off. No. If anything his cock strains harder against the unforgiving tightness of his jeans. With a sigh, he unbuttons them before licking his lips. 

“Fuck. That’s hot.” He announces and the breath of relief you give makes him lay back down. 

“It was supposed to be for me and my readers… I-I never thought that you would re-”

“Y/N.” His voice is quick as he cuts you off, “Shall we begin, little one?”

He can hear your sweet low whine before you hum in agreement. Unbuttoning his shirt slowly, he lets his fingers drift over the smooth skin of his chest.

“You got my cock real hard over here, baby. I’m thinking about that cute little picture you posted for me.” He whispers as he unzips his jeans. 

“Did you like it?” The softness of your voice sends his nerves wrought with excitement.

“Fuck yes. You should have kept it up just a little longer. I was getting hard in public over your little slutty display.” Your gasp elicits a groan from his throat. 

“I wanted you to see how much I appreciated you using my scene in one of your movies.” He finds it cute that you don’t use the word porn like it isn’t something he does almost every day. 

“You can show me now how much you appreciate it. What’re you wearing?” He asks as he tugs off his jeans, throwing them over the lip of the couch without a care. 

“I’m wearing just panties and a t-shirt.” You reply and he groans louder at the thought.

“Fuck. You’re going to take everything off for me, do you understand?” He asks as he discards his button up shirt to the floor.

“Yes.” He curses quietly at your submissive answer before pulling his cock out of his briefs. 

“Your lips looked so pretty parted like that. I want them around my cock.” His hand shakes as he reaches for the length of his cock. Precum beginning to pool at the slit as you keen on the other end of the phone. 

“I’ve wanted to feel you all over me since I first saw your videos.” You admit to him.

“Fuck, I bet you do baby. Touch your nipples for me.” 

With a gentle gasp, you reach for your breasts. Your breath is hitched as you cup them in hand. “Roll your nipple with your fingers and pinch.” He instructs you and your hips bow off the bed at his request.

God, how were you here doing this right now? With him? THE Min Yoongi having phone sex with you. 

Whimpering, you roll your nipples between your fingertips. “I bet you look so pretty playing with your tits, little one.” The use of the pet name that you wrote for him sends you into a frenzy. Stomach unfurling with lava like heat as your legs spread wider on the bed.

“Yoongi, please. I need more.” You beg. The devilish chuckle he gives has liquid arousal seeping out of you towards the mattress.

“You need more? You’ve already seen my cock. I need to picture what your sweet cunt would feel like around me. How you would beg me to fuck you so hard you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day.” You pant at his words, breath devoid in your chest as your toes curl.

“Touch your aching pussy for me, then.” He whispers and you hear his breath hitch on the other end of the line. Your hand dips down your stomach, all the while your fingers continue to pinch and roll your nipples. 

Spreading your pussy lips, you’ve surely never felt yourself this wet before. “My pussy is so wet for you.” 

“Jesus, fuck.” He mutters out and you try to imagine how he looks right now. Laying down with his bottom lip clasped between his teeth. Droplets of sweat sticking to his black sideburns. “I bet your pussy is nice and swollen, hmm? Your clit is probably real sensitive, begging to be touched. Why don’t you rub your clit for me, little one?” 

Doing as told you run your middle finger around your clit in gentle circles. Pressing your lips into a straight line you whimper out quietly. He tuts his tongue in a way that makes your eyes roll back. “Who told you to keep quiet? I want to hear you, Y/N.” 

“Fuck.” You mumble through gritted teeth. Hearing your name actually fall from his lips as he pleases himself, knowing it’s really you who he’s giving his pleasure to makes you moan louder. 

“That’s it. Fuck, you sound so hot. How wet are you for me? Put a finger in your cunt.” With a whine, you do as told. Running your fingers down your sodden lips before entering a finger into yourself. Grabbing your phone off the pillow beside you, you place the phone between your legs as you thrust your finger into yourself. 

The moan he gives is almost hedonistically evil, “Another.” 

Pushing the second finger in, the sounds of your soaked pussy emanate throughout the room and you moan his name loudly. “You’re so hot, Y/N. I swear to fucking God.” His voice sounds muffled as if he’s speaking through gritted teeth. 

“Yoongi. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me.” He whimpers out before groaning. 

“You got me edging myself baby. You sound so fucking good.” Thrusting your fingers, you let out a yelp as you curl them to the spongy spot inside of you. 

“Take them out.” You whine in defiance as you continue to build your pleasure higher. Your eyes roll back as you squeeze at your breast, hips lifting off of the bed.

“Y/N. Take them out of your pussy. Now.” His voice demands respect and submission and with a frown you take your fingers out of yourself. 

“If you aren’t going to listen. We aren’t going to play. I’ll hang up and cum alone, is that what you want?”

“No.” You mumble to him. He hums in agreement as you pick your phone back up from between your legs.

“Put your filthy slut fingers in your mouth and suck your slick.” It’s almost mind boggling how quickly he changed roles. But, fuck, if it doesn’t get you on edge. 

Entering your fingers into your mouth, you whimper at the musky taste on your tongue. “You taste how needy you are for my large cock? Bet it tastes good, doesn’t it? Knowing that your dripping for a porn star you’re dying to fuck.” 

Whining against your fingers, your pussy clenches around nothing as he lets out a laugh. “Spank your cum slut pussy. I want to hear it.” 

Your hand shakes as you rear back before slapping your cunt. “You can do better than that, slut. Slap your filthy cunt.” 

Fuck, how is he so goddamn hot? You slap your pussy, the feeling ricocheting through you as your body jolts. Gasping loudly, you end with his name on your lips.

“That’s it. Good girl, little one. You’re so good at following directions. Play with your clit again, you must be aching.” He says and you can hear movement on the other end of the line. 

“Are you touching your cock?” You ask him.

“Fuck yes. You’re driving me insane, baby.” Your clit throbs, aching to be touched and you concede. Rubbing smooth circles, you whine his name out only to hear a string of curses from his end of the phone. 

"Tell me what you want to do to me." You beg as you continue your ministrations. 

He gives a growl and your eyes roll back at the thought of him stroking his cock to you. "I want to stretch you out on the bed, body flayed for me. Make you cum on my cock so many times you'd go stupid for me. I wanna spank your naughty little cunt for even teasing me this badly." He admits and your whimper earns another curse from him.

"I want to suck your big cock, let you use me like a cocksleeve." 

"Jesus fucking Christ." He says breathlessly. 

"Put your fingers in your pussy. Cum for me, I want to hear it." Your fingers jump at the chance, leaving your breast to play with your sodden hole. 

"I want to bend you over a fucking table and spank you so hard. Want you to drool for my cock and cum. Wanna make you cry for it." You hear faster movement on his end, his breath hitching before groaning loudly.

Entering two fingers into yourself, you keen loudly for him. Toes curling as you set an unrelenting pace. You haven't felt this sexy or turned on in so long. "Did you cum for me?" You ask sweetly before tucking your bottom lip between your teeth.

"Not yet, baby. I'm real good at keeping myself on edge. It's my job, remember. Curl your fingers to your g-spot." He tells you. 

Curling your fingers, your thighs become turse. "Yoongi! Fuck! I-I want to cum for you."

"That's it, little one. Keep going. You sound so gorgeous when you moan for me. Makes me want to please you so well."

"What else do you want to do?!" You ask quickly as the bubble inside of you begins to expand.

"What else? Baby, I want to do everything to you. Wanna suck on your sweet nipples until they're swollen and red for me. Fuck your cunt until your squirting all over me like a fucking slut. I especially want you to let me use your throat how I see fit and cut off your air with my cock. Watch you gasp for breath as you let me use you as a cocksleeve." You gasp for him, eyes screwing shut as your hips lift off the bed.

"Your pussy sounds so wet. You're making a fucking mess, I bet. I would love to lick it up. Taste your pretty litt-" You whine his name loudly, hips gyrating as you reach your precipice. "-Go ahead, little one. Cum for me."

Willing it to be so, you orgasm. Your head lolls back as your ears go deaf with white noise. You feel your cum leak out past your fingers as you fuck yourself through your orgasm. "Such a good girl." He praises as you whimper his name repeatedly. 

"Yoongi." You whine as you ride out your high.

"Still here, baby. I'm so close to cumming." He groans out.

Fisting his cock in hand, he can hear your exhausted pants on the other end of the line. His cock throbs wildly, having been edged to completion four times already.

"I want to suck your dick so badly. Let you cum in my mouth and swallow it. Show you I'm a good girl for you." Your voice is so gentle, so fucking sweet.

"Goddamn, Y/N. I'm- Baby, fuck!" He curses as he shoves his phone up to his shoulder off of his bare stomach.

"Want you to cum in my pussy and make me lick it off your cock." The beautiful thought of his cum glazing your lips and cheeks sends his fist stuttering.

"Y/N! Shit!" He yelps out as he orgasms. He gasps loudly, eyes screwing shut as he ruts his hips into the air. Warm ropes of cum land on his stomach as he moans for you.

"Jesus. Wow." He slurs out, feeling drunk off of the pleasure. 

There's silence for a bit as you both breath heavily. Yoongi's eyes slowly open before he chuckles to himself.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He asks as he uses his boxers to wipe his stomach. You hum in agreement and the sound tickles him pink as he turns his body on the couch.

"Until I read your stuff, I couldn't cum for a long time. I was really not excited about sex anymore until I read your works." He admits to you. 

"Really? But, you seem so into your work." He feels cozy now. This pillow talk going above and beyond anything he could have imagined. 

"I haven't been for a while. This was more erotic to me then most of the women I fuck." Your silence at his words makes him question if he's said something wrong. Picking skin off of his lip with his teeth, he waits for your reply.

"That makes me feel really warm to hear that." You finally say and he lets out a breath of relief before smiling. 

"Well it's true… Listen Y/N. I'd really like to continue talking to you. To get to know you more." 

"I'd like that, too."

"You fucking like it? Like trying to gasp for air around my cock? Hmm?" He seethes through his teeth as he thrusts his cock deeper into his co-stars throat. 

Yoongi has gotten amazing at shutting his eyes and picturing you behind his eyelids. He hasn't even seen you, yet. But, your conversations on the phone, the way you can giggle and talk for hours it was like a dream. A dream he would never want to wake up from. 

You were so real with him. Your personality is so magnetizing that it almost makes him feel like he's always known you. And in a way, he has known you. Your mind, your creativity and the way you write expressed something deep in your soul that he had always known.

The tap to his thigh makes him stop. Pulling his cock out of his co-stars mouth, he slaps it against her cheek. Smearing his precum and her spit over her face, he tugs her hair roughly before smiling. "Look at you, slut. Begging for daddy to stop when you practically got on your knees to grovel for my pleasure. What does that say about you? Hmm?" 

With a whimper she opens her mouth for him again, black mascara tinted tears streaming down her cheeks. "That's a good girl." He praises before entering his cock into her mouth. Your lips would be much better suited for the task he thinks. Remembering how you begged to let him cum in your mouth just to swallow his seed. 

"Jesus. That's it, little one." His cock throbs as her tongue swirls over the head. Pulling her closer with every thrust, his head lolls back. He wants to cum so badly. Wants to release and let the camera see his cum on his co-stars tongue knowing you'll watch it. 

"Fuck. Your slutty mouth feels so good around my cock, baby." He whispers through gritted teeth. He bets his life on it that you would whimper at the taste of his precum as your fingers dig into the skin of his thighs. That you would extend your tongue just to get every drop of his warm cum in your mouth. 

"Y/N! Fuck!" He yelps out as he orgasms. 

Disregarding the name he just said he taps her cheek roughly before pulling out. "Show me and then swallow for daddy, you slut." 

She does as told, the camera panning to her mouth before swallowing. "Good girl." He says before stepping away from the camera and her.

"Did you like it?" He asks as he cracks open his beer. 

With a laugh you hum unsurely, "I don't know. You seemed awfully pleased to cum in her mouth."

Rolling his eyes, he sips his beer before sitting down on his couch. "You know I was picturing your mouth around me, don't be silly." 

You giggle as a reply and he can hear clacking on your end of the phone call. "What're you up to? Writing?" He asks as he puts his feet up on the coffee table. 

"Yeah. Next weeks chapter of Take One." You tell him and he smiles at your words.

"Am I going to fuck you over a table again? That was hot." He mumbles over the lip of his beer bottle. 

"No. You're making love." You say seriously. Rapid tapping enters his ears and he sighs dejectedly. 

"You know I don't do that. I don't know how." He replies.

"I watched that video of you having sex with a woman on your wedding night." He gives a breathy snort before clearing his throat.

"Yeah but I didn't love her. I was acting. Your Yoongi in Take One is seriously in love with Y/N. He gets all emotional and shit." The sound pauses and silence invades his ears. He's gotten used to your long pauses, taking them as a sign of deep thought now rather than nerve wracking. 

"I'll teach you." You finally say to him. 

His eyebrows quirk up and he leans forward on the couch at your words. "You'll teach me?"

"Yeah. I'll teach you how to make love. Teach you how to feel emotion rather than just fucking someone till they can't remember their own name." 

"If you recall, last night you couldn't remember your own name after we had phone sex." He quips back, a smirk playing on his lips. 

"Yoongi."

"Y/N." 

"I'll teach you." You tell him sternly and who is he to say no.

"Yes ma'am." He replies quietly and he can practically feel your smile through the phone. 

"How about on Thursday? Your apartment or mine?" You ask.

He shivers at the thought before running his thumb over his bottom lip. Fuck, you were amazing. "Mine. Should I buy candles? Maybe rose petals? Decorate a heart on the bed with them?" He jokes to you.

"No. Just you and your pretty cock is fine." 

Fuck.

You stand in front of his front door, tilting your head at the brass numbers. You should feel more nervous that you are, you find yourself thinking. You were more excited than anything else. This is like finally seeing a lover after months of being away from one another. But, you’ve never seen each other. Only talked for long hours until the early hours of the morning. 

You feel comfortable talking with him though. Constantly finding yourself at odds with your gut as butterflies flutter endlessly within you. It just felt natural. You weren’t even that nervous for him to see you in your entirety after portraying Y/N in Take One exactly like yourself. 

Taking a deep breath you ring his doorbell. You can hear sound through the midnight blue door and your heart leaps with excitement. 

A minute feels like hours as you stand in the hallway. “Coming!” You hear faintly.

His voice is even rich and creamy through the door, sending your poor nerves on edge. You pull at the hem of your dress, teeth picking at the skin of your bottom lip.

 The door opens and you’re greeted with the handsome face you’ve only seen on screen. Breath catching in your throats, you both look each other over for a second. Taking in his black hair as it sweeps into his eyes and the black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. “Wow.” He’s the first to speak.

“Hi.” You whisper before clearing your throat. 

He looks like someone straight off the front page of a magazine. His obvious gawking makes you feel giddy, your stomach flipping and falling like you’re on a high rollercoaster descending to the ground. 

“Hey.” He says, a smile creeping onto his face.

You notice how his arm veins protrude as he pushes the door open wider. “Come in.” 

With the flurry of excitement, you don’t really take in much of his apartment. Besides the fact that it’s clean and neat. You mainly focus on him. On the way he swings the door shut and runs his hands over his face like he’s trying to ebb away a bout of nervousness. Min Yoongi getting nervous, why you’d never think that. 

He presses his back to the door and through his black jeans you can see his thigh muscles tensing. “Wou-Would you like a glass of wine?” He asks, before rubbing his hands together. 

“Sure. That’d be great.” You say.

He nods slightly, before rushing past you and you giggle quietly as you follow him. He’s so endearing. So absolutely handsome.

Rounding the corner, your eyes fall to his dining room table and you shake your head with a laugh at the many candles that are lit. “Very funny.” You say as he steps into the kitchen.

He chuckles to himself, not making eye contact with you as he pops the cork of the wine bottle. “They’re beeswax candles for wax play.” He mumbles and you let out a laugh before leaning down to the table. 

Elbows folding in on themselves, you look over the bright colors before tilting your head to him. Everything he’s doing, every movement and action is filled with tenseness and you feel sorry that he’s so nervous. 

“Yoongs?” You ask gently. 

His head whips to you as you call his name. His smile is gummy and gorgeous as he tilts his head. “You okay?” You question as he picks up the two glasses of red wine.

He hums in agreement before taking a deep breath and handing you the glass. He seems to have an inner struggle with himself as his hand reaches for yours. Probably wondering whether or not he should take it in his own hand. You let him work through it and you’re alright when he puts his hand back down to his side. 

His fingers flex and rub against the fabric of his pants as if he made the wrong call but you don’t say anything. It’s kind of nice to see his all power, sexy demeanor lost at the sight of you. It makes this real. Makes him real.

He shuffles over to the couch and you follow. Sitting down, he stares ahead at the art installation instead of where a television would be in normal living rooms. You can see him swallow multiple times, Adam’s apple constantly bobbing before shifting a glance over to look at you. 

“Nervous?” You ask him before sipping your wine. The flavor bursts in your mouth, undertones of stone fruits and Earth invading your senses. He takes a sip himself before leaning back into the couch and throwing his arm over the top.

“Honestly? A little. You’re exactly how I pictured you.” He says over the lip of the wine glass.

“And that’s a bad thing?” You ask playfully as you cross your legs.

“No! God! No, not at all! It’s kind of amazing. You’re really beautiful. I just don’t hang out with people much. I read your stories and just stay at home by myself.” He finally makes eye contact with you.

His onyx eyes focused solely on your face. They were holding emotions far more than you thought they would. It makes your heart clench, something deep inside of you falling into a cavern without anything holding you tethered. 

“Well, you’re exactly how I pictured you too.” You jeer and he chuckles in reply. 

He seems to relax after that, molding himself into the couch naturally. And you find it surprising how much you adore his not so cocky attitude like you see in his movies. “Your eyes are very pretty.” He announces before leaning over and putting down his wine glass on the coffee table. 

As he moves you can see his upper chest and you tilt your head at the sight. A god among men, perhaps. 

You cross your ankles, outstretching your legs and his eyes flit to your thighs. He licks his lips quickly before sitting back up. “Are you nervous?” He asks as he rests his back against the arm of the couch.

“Not really. I’m more excited to finally meet you, after talking for so long.” He smirks at this before folding his arms. 

“Who would have thought that you would be the one to put me on edge?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask with a laugh before taking another sip of wine. The alcohol burns nicely as it slides down your throat. Warming your stomach and your insides as he throws one leg up onto the couch bent at the knee. 

“You always seem so shy on the phone. I’m surprised it’s me that is feeling the effects so strongly of our meeting.” He says before holding up his hand as it shakes slightly. 

“I’m not shy on the phone. I’m submissive for you. That’s different.” You retort making him hum as you set down your glass of wine. 

Taking a deep breath, he looks you over once more. There’s something primal in his gaze, taking you in now like prey. He reaches forward, fingers sliding over your dress fabric. Your body turns towards him on instinct, ready for whatever he is going to offer. 

This is something you’ve come to terms with. You like him, kind of adore him actually. Talking with him on the phone, giggling and chatting for hours at a time made him seem so perfect. You were honest with one another, your connection very real.

"And are you going to be submissive for me today? If you choose to spend your time with me?" He asks quietly, the octave in his voice dropping so low you could practically feel the baritone shudder through you.

"No." You tell him confidently and he gives a short laugh before inching his way closer to you.

"And why not? You like it when I make you submit." He whispers. 

He was so close now, that his wine tainted breath fans over your face. 

With him being so close, you could see every emotion in his eyes. Every little thing calling out to you. His tongue slowly licks over his bottom lip and your groin twinges with satisfaction as he begins to smile lazily. 

"Because I came over here to teach you today." 

"Y/N." He whines. 

You watch the way his perfect lips part as he speaks your name. The way it rolls off his tongue like a plea and it makes your stomach coil. 

You press your hand against his clothed chest, feeling his pectoral muscles twitch and you feel power surge through you. He was yours to be with today, not anyone else. Not a co-star or any other person, just you. 

"Yoongi." You reply and you watch his breath catch in his throat. His eyes flutter shut and you smirk as he relaxes at your touch. 

"Say it again."

"Yoongi." He groans at the word and you sit up straighter at the effect you're having on him. It's with a simple giggle that you shove him backwards. He hits the arm of the couch with a grunt before opening his eyes.

Pupils blowing out with lust as his onyx irises gaze upon you. You crawl over his body, his hands finding their place on your thighs upon instinct. 

"I like hearing my name from you." He murmurs before showing you the column of his neck as your head bows down. 

You press your lips to his skin, the scent of fresh soap and linen breeching your nose as you give slow open mouthed kisses to his honey colored skin. His fingers dig harder into the flesh of your thighs and you could feel him trembling beneath you. 

"God, your lips. They feel so good." He whispers before swallowing thickly. 

Your hands roam over his shirt, as you suckle gently on his skin. He gasps gently, eyes fluttering shut as he holds you tightly. "I'm going to teach you." You whisper against his skin before nipping. 

His hips lift at the sting, eyebrows furrowing as he turns his head to give you more access. "Fuck." He seethes through gritted teeth. 

Your fingers begin to slowly unbutton his shirt, his hands snaking over your thighs to your hips before squeezing. "You're so fucking sexy. I knew you would look this good." He says as you lift up to unbutton properly.

"You're pretty hot yourself." You joke and he chuckles before looking back up at you. His thumb drifts over your bottom lip as he locks eyes with you. 

"You want me to feel emotion? You got it." 

Your chest puffs up at his words as you shove open his shirt. Revealing small abs and perfectly smooth skin, it's hard to find a place to focus as your eyes flit from here to there. His hands steady your hips before sitting up. 

He grabs you tightly before slinging you over his shoulder with a chuckle as he stands. "Yoongi!" You gasp out and he bends down just to pick up his wine glass. 

He chugs the contents before walking towards his bedroom. With this angle your eyes focus on his backside, every step contorting the muscles of his fit ass. Your hand reaches out for it and you feel a swat at your own backside. "Behave, little one." 

You whimper at his words, feeling arousal beginning to pool in your panties as he steps over the threshold of his room. You want to look around and take it all in but you're met with his bed first and foremost. 

Throwing you down, he runs his fingers through his hair before crawling over your body. The sheets are silk beneath you and you make out a painting on the wall before his face is in your sights. 

"What the fuck are you doing to me? Hmm? Getting me all nervous around you. Making me want to please you so well just to hear my name fall from your pretty lips." He asks as he runs his hands over your dress.

He discards his shirt and you watch his small abs flex under his taut skin with every breath. "Can I take this off?" He asks sweetly as his fingers find the zipper at the side of you.

You lift your body for him as he unzips. He groans at the sound before pressing his lips to your jaw. Sweet kisses glide over your skin and you gasp at the feeling. "I-I'm sup-supposed to be teaching you." You find the words to say as his lips trail down to your neck. 

He suckles gently at the skin, leaving pink and red rose petals in his wake. "I think I got the gist, little one." He whispers against you before nipping at your collarbone. 

Shoving your dress off of your body, he groans at the sight of you. "This is the bra you wore in that selfie, isn't it?" He asks, running his fingers over the black lace hem of the cups. 

You find it in yourself to hum in agreement as he throws your dress to the floor. You don't care how wrinkled it'll get, you can only focus on him as his hands reach for your almost bare body. 

You were making him feel something. Something he certainly isn't fucking used to. 

Knocking your legs open, he situates himself inside them. "Are you okay? Do you want to continue?" He asks for your confirmation as his hands run over your sides. 

"Yes. Fuck, yes." You whine. He chuckles before bending back down. His hands grab at your breasts, squeezing them rough enough to elicit a loud gasp from you. 

"Your skin is so soft, little one." His tongue laps over the skin atop your bra before tugging down the cups. Your breasts heave up at the action and he groans at the sight. 

"Look at your pretty nipples. Fuck." He curses before encircling your areola with his lips.

You were everything he had hoped to see. Everything he could possibly want and here, underneath him like this was sending him into overdrive. 

His hips rut in the air as he flicks at your nipple with the tip of his tongue. Rolling and squeezing your other breast in hand. Your back bows for him, gentle moans escaping your throat as your legs spread wider.

Your hands grasp at his strong shoulders. As he forsakes your nipple to leave his marks around the skin of your breast. "God, you're fucking amazing." He mumbles before moving to your other breast.

Whining his name, your hips lift up begging for more. Hooking his fingers into the sides of your panties, he slowly pulls them down. Tugging on your nipple with his lips as he leaves your core bare for him. "Spread." He instructs.

You find it arousing how he hasn't even looked down below yet. As if he's waiting to reveal it to himself like the greatest gift. Spreading your legs for him, you can feel strings of arousal breaking and snapping to your inner thighs. 

His lips trail down the valley of your breasts and your breath becomes caught in your chest. His thumbs flick at your nipples as he takes his time, kissing and suckling every inch of you. "What the fuck? Were you made for me? You're so perfect." He says before dipping his tongue into your belly button.

"Yoongi." You whimper out as your fingers find his soft locks. Tugging on it, he growls against your skin before looking up at you. 

"Keep doing that and I'm going to forget this whole love making thing and fuck you till your bow legged." He promises and you tug gently at his hair with a giggle. 

He rolls his eyes in response but you don't miss the smirk he gives. He shoves your legs open roughly and your jaw drops in excitement. He kisses at the bare mound of flesh of your pubic bone before picking his head up. His hums to himself, tongue licking over his lips. 

His bottom lip purchases between his teeth as he makes a V motion with his fingers opening your pussy lips for him. He stares lewdly at your cunt and you could see his hard cock throb through the leg of his jeans. "Look at your pretty little cunt. You're fucking dripping." He mumbles before rearing down and spitting. 

You moan at the feeling, hips thrusting into the air. 

His fingers glide over your soaked cunt. Your eyes screwing shut as he prods at your entrance with a finger. "Eyes open. Watch me." He instructs. 

Your eyes snap open as he nestles his face between your thighs. He breathes in deeply before latching his lips to your now swollen clit. 

"Oh fuck!" You whine loudly as your back bows off the bed.

His mouth was so incredibly skilled, lapping at your clit with such expertise. 

His eyes were on yours as he devours your needy pussy. 

He gives a flat stripe to your sex, before showing you the amount of arousal on his tongue and swallowing greedily. "You taste so fucking good." He mumbles before suckling at your clit again. 

You keen loudly, hands fisting tightly at his hair as he flicks the tip of his tongue to you. Your body jolts with pleasure as you mumble his name. 

Without warning he enters a finger into you. He himself moaning against your sex at the tightness of your dripping pussy. "God! Yoongi!" 

He hums in agreement before lifting up, slowly he drips his spittle from his mouth. You watch with keen eyes as it meets your cunt before he's ravaging you once more. Grinding your clit to the flat of his tongue, you feel white-hot pleasure coursing through your veins. Your skin feels aflame, your stomach tightens as you course towards the precipice. 

He curls his finger inside of you before slipping in another easily. "God look at you, so eager to cum for me, little one. So gorgeous." He praises and you whine as he lets you ride his tongue again.

He could feel his cock begging to be released from the confines of his jeans. Straining so tightly to the fabric as he precums at the sight of you losing all semblance of reality. You were gorgeously fucked out beneath him, cheeks tinged pink with arousal. He feels something stirring in his gut, something completely different than arousal. An emotion that sends him aflutter and he wonders if he's catching real, true feelings for you.

"Cum for me, baby. Cum on my tongue." 

Tugging on his hair harder, he groans against you. The vibration shoots through you as your eyes become spotty. Gasping for air, you babble his name as the tightness within you is almost too much to take. It's the image of him as he picks up his head that makes you lose it. Lips, cheeks and chin coated thickly in your arousal and you careen over the precipice as his fingers lovingly strike the soft bunch of nerves inside of you. 

You see stars as you orgasm. Hips undulating violently as your ears ring with white noise. "Goddamn." You hear from him faintly as your thighs shake.

He watches you lay so fucked out beneath him and he smiles. Yeah. He's caught fucking feelings. Moving up your body, he presses gentle kisses to your nipples before kissing you. 

Your first kiss together is wildly heated. Tongues lashing over one anothers as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. You can taste your arousal on his tongue and you whimper against him as he flips you over easily. "You're so fucking pretty." He murmurs with wonder.

Your legs straddle over him and you barely notice his hand creeping down your stomach. He rears back before slapping your pussy hard. You writhe with overstimulation, gasping loudly as your thighs lock. "Had to." He jokes before hooking his hand around your neck and pulling you down for a kiss. 

The kiss is languid now, tongues exploring each other's mouths as you unbutton his jeans. The sound of the zipper sounds so loud in the silent room and it fills you with gusto for what's to come next. 

He doesn't break the kiss as he shoves his pants down roughly. He sighs loudly into your mouth as his cock springs free from the confines of his jeans and briefs. 

You've been dying to see his cock in person. And boy, does it not disappoint. You practically gape at the size and thickness. Rose colored veins meet your gaze on his length and you find yourself practically drooling at the sight. His bulbous head is a mean shade of red as it weeps precum begging to be touched. "All for you." He says as he runs his thumb over your bottom lip.

"Me and every other porn star." You joke and he clicks his teeth at your words.

"I don't want them like I want you. I've never wanted to feel a body like yours in years. You're special to me, don't you get that? You make me feel shit. You make me cum. Nobody does that anymore, baby." Your eyes greet his as he speaks. And, you watch him earnestly pour out his emotions. You give him a sweet smile before running your hands over his chest.

He sighs at the contact before combing his hands through your hair. "I'm serious. You want me to make love to you? You got it. You want me to fuck you so hard you'll beg me to stop? You got it. Anything. Anything you want, I'm here to please you." 

Your heart swells at his words and you smile wider before grasping his cock. He gasps at your touch, hips rutting into the air before gritting his teeth. "I want to please you." You tell him.

"By all means." He mumbles as his jaw muscles flex. 

Bending down, you pepper kisses over his long length. Earning gentle groans from him as his hands make a ponytail with your hair. Your tongue laps at a trail of precum as it lazily runs down his length and he shivers in response. "Fuck." He curse before gripping tighter at your hair.

Swirling your tongue around the tip, he lets out a hiss of pleasure. The sound makes your pussy clench around nothing. "Goddamn." 

Spreading your legs wider with his hands, he rubs gentle circles onto your clit and you moan loudly as you take his length into your mouth. "Agh, Christ. Your mouth is amazing." He hisses out as you assiduously work your mouth on his cock.

Hollowing your cheeks with every suck, you feel brazen as he moans your name. "Not even some porn stars can suck cock like this. Jesus Christ!" He yelps out as he shoves your head down on his cock. Gagging around his length, he moans louder at the sound. 

Tears spring forth from your eyes as you look up at him. His bottom lip is trembling between his teeth as you run your tongue flat over the base. "That's it, baby. Just like that. Your mouth is amazing, baby girl." He praises you and you keen as he pinches your nipple. 

You whimper against his large cock, your hands gripping at his terse thighs as he lifts his hips with every head bob. He makes it a point to praise you every time you gag. Show love to your body as you cry on his cock. 

Spittle and precum stream over your chin as he begins to lose himself in the pleasure. "God, I've wanted to fuck your mouth for so long. Since you put that selfie up for me. I knew you would feel so fucking good around my cock, baby. So fucking eager to please me." His cock begins to throb as you swallow around him. Trying to get him as deep in your throat as possible. 

"Fuck yeah. Let me use you like a fucking cocksleeve." He murmurs out as your nose nestles to his bare pubic bone. He rears back before spanking your cunt again. Your body undulating at his ministrations and he holds up his hand showing you your fresh wave of arousal on his fingers. 

"Look at how horny you are for me. Fuck you're incredible." He enters his fingers into his mouth, moaning both at your taste and as he fucks his cock deeper into your throat. 

This wasn't particularly love making in a normal sense, but who gives a fuck. Right now, as he fucks your throat you can only whimper and want more. Getting so caught up in being with him that there really wasn't anything but perfection in this very moment. "Y/N. You're going to make me cum, baby. You're- Fuck." He curses before pressing his lips into a straight line. 

He tugs on your hair roughly, his eyes still on you and surprisingly not on his cock as it disappears into your mouth. His heart swells with admiration, wiping your cheeks of your tears as his jaw tightens. Licking over his base you watch him gasp loudly and your thighs tighten around his.

"Oh baby. Fuck. I'm cumming! Shit!" He whines out and his cock gets thicker inside your throat before orgasming. His eyes roll back as ropes of cum slide down your throat. He whispers your name ardently as you swallow diligently.

"Show me." He gasps out and you pull off of his cock before opening your mouth. 

"Such a good girl." He praises.

He takes a second, blinking the lusty haze from his eyes before flipping you onto your back. You giggle at the sudden movement, a smile painted on his face as he leans down to kiss you. Discarding your bra to the floor, he pecks at your lips.

"First woman in my bedroom. First woman to get me to cum that hard in so long. I got a lot of firsts going on today." He whispers against your lips before nipping your bottom lip. 

"Really? I'm the first girl in your bed?" You ask, surprised.

"Oh yeah. No ones ever been this special for me to invite them over. Keep playing your cards right and I'll make you dinner." He jokes as he spreads your legs.

Your giggle is cut off as he enters two fingers inside of you before stretching. With a whimper, you whine his name. "Cum for me one more time. I gotta stretch you to fit my cock in." He expertly curls his fingers inside you and your chest heaves upwards at the feeling.

"You-You never stretch any of the other girls on camera." You say as he scissors you open.

"They don't need to be stretched, they're constantly loose or have already been prepped. Also, stop talking about them and my job. This is about us right now." He says before silencing you with a kiss. 

The pad of his thumb rubs over your bundle of nerves and you gasp into his mouth. His fingers begin to fuck you faster as his tongue glides over yours. His taste, the subtle hints of wine and your arousal have your mind becoming fuzzy for the second time. Your pussy clenches around his fingers, arms hooking over the back of his neck as he nips at your tongue.

"You're such a good girl cumming again for me." He whispers before curling his fingers so fast inside of you that you feel all the air in your lungs disappear. 

"Y-Yoongi! Fuck! I'm-"

"Go ahead, baby girl." With a loud moan you orgasm for the second time and he scissors your pliant channel open as he whispers words of praise in your ear. Your vision goes white behind your eyelids and you barely feel his fingers leave you. 

He waits for you to come down from your high. Caressing your cheek with loving strokes as he aligns himself to your entrance. You whimper as he prods at you before looking up for confirmation.

"Just say the word and we can stop. I don't want to push you too much on the first round." So he wants more with you? 

You pull him closer and he pushes his bulbous head past your entrance. Both of your mouths falling open in tandem as he slowly thrusts inside. He was stretching you so open, the feeling almost mind boggling. 

"Oh God." You whine as he buries his face into your neck. Kissing over your heated skin, he pushes himself to the hilt inside of you. He allows you to adjust around his considerable length as he plays with your nipples. Pinching and rolling them between his fingertips. 

"I'll make love to you for however long you let me." He announces into the crook of your neck. 

He suckles more vivid colors to the surface of your skin as your legs wrap around his waist. He pulls out slowly, letting the head of his cock drag against your soft walls before thrusting harshly back inside.

The both of you moan loudly, your hands scrambling to grab onto his arms as he begins a diligent pace. He pulls your face with his hand to look at him as he fucks you lovingly. "You drive me so crazy. So fucking nuts. I can't believe I get to do this with you. You're like a dream." He whispers before kissing you softly. 

The balls of your feet dig into his backside as he continues his pace. You can tell he's dying to go faster but he makes it a point to give you what you want. He was truly making love to you, every thrust having purpose and meaning as he sheathes himself inside of your heat. 

"So nice and wet for me. So fucking tight." He seethes out through clenched teeth and you rock your hips with every thrust to meet him. He grabs your hands before intertwining your fingers together. 

His lips suckle at your skin as he begins to fuck you faster. Sweat beginning to produce on his sideburns. Your hands tighten your grip on his as you lift your hips for more. "I really like you." He tells you as you moan.

"I like you, too. A lot." He smiles before thrusting harder inside of you. Your head lolls back as he begins to fuck you with everything he has. 

"Oh fuck! Y/N!" He cries out into the valley of your breasts. You're a blubbering mess beneath him now, the tightening in your stomach coming back in full force as each thrust meets your cervix folds. 

Lifting himself up, he watches how your breasts jiggle with every thrust. How gloriously in pleasure you are beneath him and he can't deny the feeling of ardent emotion as his heart strings tug at the sight. "Shit!" He curses loudly before letting go of your hands to grip your hips.

Pulling you down onto his cock with fluid motions, you feel his cock begin to throb within you and your pussy clenches around him.

His hand reaches for the apex of your thighs, pinching your clit skillfully. Your eyes roll back, mouth drooling for his cock as he splits you open.

"You're so fucking tight for me. So fucking made me for me. Who does this pussy belong to?" He asks before pinching your bundle of nerves again.

"You! Yoongi!" You gasp out as your veins pump with pleasure. 

"Cum for me again." He mumbles.

He hooks your ankle over his shoulder before drilling into you at a speed that shouldn't be humanly possible. Mumbling his name incessantly you cum for him a third time. Eyes screwing shut as your cunt milks his cock for his cum. "Fuck yeah. So fucking tight." He mutters out as he watches you bask in deep seeded pleasure.

Your cum squirts out of you, landing on his thighs and he growls animalistically before pulling out of you. Flipping you over, he lifts your hips in the air and you can barely understand what's happening as you moan loudly. He enters you in one fluid motion, simultaneously spanking your ass hard. 

Lurching forward you moan his name as you grip at his bedsheets. Fisting them until your knuckles become white. "Fuck. You're so amazing. So fucking willing to keep creaming on my cock." He growls out as his hand grabs at the back of your neck.

He pulls you back onto his cock with fervent need, his eyes on your smarting globes and the way your pussy sheathes him so tightly. "So beautiful." He says before smacking your ass again.

You appreciate the sting, letting it bring you back to reality. His hand finds the junction of your thighs once more and he rubs furious circles to your clit. You yelp out at the over stimulation, eyes watering with tears. 

"Yoongi! Can't!" You whimper. 

"Yes you can. My woman can do anything." He's claimed you right then and there. You allow yourself to be pushed through the over stimulation, crying and whimpering before your simpering turns to loud moans.

"That's it, baby. Good fucking girl." He seethes out before spanking you again. "Let's go for four." He pulls out of you almost fully before spitting on your battered cunt. Pulling you harshly back onto his cock, your cunt continues to convulse around him as he begins to throb harshly.

"Oh fuck. You're going to make me cum." He alerts you. Thighs shaking, you rock your hips back to him with every thrust. Your hands grip the sheets tighter as you cum for a fourth time without warning. 

You bury your face into the mattress crying out loudly as he groans. "Oh fuck! Baby!" He yells out before stilling inside of you.

Ropes of cum smatter the walls of your cunt and you whimper feebly as the warmth fills you. He lays his chest to your back before kissing your cheek. You can feel his chest heave for air behind you and he pulls out gently. Pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek, he chuckles as you cream with his cum. 

You flip onto your back with a tired whine and he laughs quietly. Bending down, he kisses you gently before standing. "Let me clean you up, okay?" 

You hum as you close your eyes. God, hes fucking incredible. 

Cleaning you up, he watches as your head lazily tilts towards him. "You okay?" He asks with a laugh. 

Snorting gently you nod before looking over his naked body. "Did you mean what you said? Do you like me?" You ask him and he stops his ministrations.

Bending down he kisses you. The kiss filled with passion and reverence. "Yes. I like you. Very much." He replies.

"So...what are we?" You ask quietly as he lays down beside you.

His arms pull you into his chest as he rests against the headboard of his bed. Pushing some stray hairs behind your ear, his lips meet your hairline. Brushing against it gently, he closes his eyes. 

"I claimed you while we were having sex and that still stands. I'd like to see where this goes between us. Your soul is so pure, so honest and I'd like to know you on every level I possibly can." Your eyes flutter shut and you smile into his chest as he holds you tighter. 

"I'd really like that Yoongi."

"Me too, little one."

"Baby." His voice is loud as he steps over the threshold of your shared apartment. 

You jump at the noise, sending your fingers flying over the keyboard of your laptop before looking up. You smile at his figure, his bleach blonde hair falls into his eyes as he smiles back. You erase the keyboard smash before closing your laptop.

"Don't stop on my account." He tells you as he sets his keys down on the kitchen table.

"I'm almost done anyway, I was just editing the next chapter." He raises an eyebrow at you before padding over and kissing the top of your head. You purse your lips for a kiss but he hums awkwardly.

"Might not wanna kiss me. I gotta go take a shower too." He says before taking off his shirt and showing you the wax candle burn marks on his chest. You laugh, rolling your eyes as he winks at you.

He notices how your eyes shift to your laptop as he continues to stare. What are you hiding? "Wanna come take a shower with me?" He asks as he discards his pants.

"Sure." 

"Who'd you film with today?" You ask as Yoongi runs the bar of soap over your back, pressing sweet kisses over your bare shoulder.

"Candy. She says hi." He whispers as he pulls you closer to his naked body.

"While she was gagging on your cock?" He snorts into the nape of your neck before swatting at your backside. Whining at the sting, you turn your head and pout to him. He nips at your protruding bottom lip before nuzzling his nose into your wet hair.

"What were you writing before? Take One?" You hum in agreement as he runs the bar of soap over your breasts.

"What are we doing this time? Fucking in a car on our way to the Porn Awards? Or, maybe going on that vacation we won at the charity ball?" He quips and your body goes rigid as he questions you. Fuck, you're acting odd. 

"Just fucking." You say, your voice sounding small under the sounds of running water as it slaps the floor. 

He pulls away from you before rinsing his body off. "I'm done with the shower, are you?" He asks, finding himself sounding distant. 

You shut the water off and grab the towel from him watching him walk away and out of the bathroom.

Yoongi lays in bed, watching you comb through your hair with your fingers and he folds his arms. Your back muscles were terse and he raises an eyebrow as you throw your body down onto the bed as if you're frustrated. 

He can't seem to understand where this was coming from. You've been together for years now and every time you've shown this sort of tantrum or distance from him, he's always just fucked it right out of you till you couldn't remember why you were upset in the first place.

You were usually very vocal. He remembers the first fight you had gotten into, something that he still agrees is his fault. He was careless at first, when you began dating. Not really telling you the subject of the porns he was filming.

He would come home with hickies and scratch marks, without thinking of how you would take it. But, he hadn't had to explain himself to anyone ever. So he understood when you finally snapped and cursed him out. You put him on a sex ban for almost a month and he felt like a hollow shell, reverting back to not being able to cum inside of his co-stars for that little while. 

Just thinking about it gives him shivers and he pulls the covers over his chest higher. Getting comfortable in bed, your back is turned towards him. "Baby, come lay on me." He insists as he runs his hand over your bare thigh.

You stay silent before huffing out and flipping over. Wrapping his hand around your body, his thumb presses into the muscles around your spine. Kneading them gently as his lips drift over your temple. "What's wrong, baby girl?" He asks quietly.

"Nothing. I'm fine." You reply as you lay your cheek on his chest. He rolls his eyes at your hollow words before tipping your chin up with his index finger.

"I'm your fiance, you're supposed to talk to me. We're in this for life, remember?" His eyebrows raise with his words as your fingers run over the wax burns on his body.

"I'm fine. Seriously." You give him the fakest smile he's ever seen in his life before closing your eyes and he sighs a little too loudly.

What the fuck did you write that's got you so upset?

Yoongi picks at the skin on his lip as he watches you sleep. You've been distant for over a week now and he's starting to think he's done something frighteningly wrong. 

He made it a point to tell you that he didn't need to read Take One anymore. That you could pour your emotions and feelings into the story almost like a diary. He wanted you to have that creative outlet that brought you so much freedom.

He loves that about you. Anything and everything you write has meaning, you make it count. And, if you needed to write about how annoyed you were with him in your books then so be it. Vent to your heart's content as long as any real major problems were discussed with him first. 

But, God there was something wrong and he knows he would find the answer if he opens up Take One. Grabbing his phone off the bedside table, he lays you down gently before standing up. He stares at you for a second in your moonlit bedroom, watching you wriggle from the movement before becoming dead to the world once more. 

He sighs as he walks to the bathroom. His feet pad against the heated floor before locking himself in. Sitting down on the toilet, he unlocks his phone. Blinking rapidly at the bright light before scrolling through your blog. 

Chapter 99: To New Beginnings

"Oh Jesus." He mumbles nervously before putting his cheek on his hand as he begins to read.

It's early morning when your husband wakes you up. Breakfast in bed was never his thing, burning eggs so easily as if they were going out of style. 

But it was a welcome sight as your stomach grumbles with hunger. His smile stutters your heart as he sets the plate of food down before you. 

His touch is warm as he caresses your cheek. The feeling waking you up faster than the strongest coffee ever could. 

After last night's ball, how you danced among countless bodies with no faces, he seemed to become reinvigorated. Wholly invested in love for one another. 

He watched children in small dresses and suits play beneath glittering chandeliers. Watched their small bodies dance effortlessly to the cords of classical music and it struck something inside of him. 

"Little one." He whispers to you.

Looking up from your plate, your eyes greet his. His irises show you nothing but ardor as he grabs for your hand. 

Running his thumb over your wedding band, he swallows thickly. Nervousness sweeps through you as his eyes flutter closed. 

"What's wrong?" You whisper, setting down your plate.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I just want to talk to you." You nod to him, sitting up straighter as you give him your undivided attention. 

His hand is atop yours, running smooth circles over your skin. In the morning sunlit room, you can see his forehead crease with tension. It seems like he has something to say and it just won't come out. Like he could shout underwater without any outcome. 

He takes a deep breath before looking up at you again. 

"I want to try for a baby." He tells you. 

Your heart lurches deep in the recesses of your chest. Eyes wideni-

"Oh, baby girl." Yoongi whispers before running his hand over his exhausted face. He has thought about it, surely. But, he never put much stake into it with the job he has. 

This is why you've been so distant? You want a baby? Why weren't you comfortable enough to tell him? You could talk to him about anything and everything.

It doesn't seem far fetched to think about having children with you. You were the greatest love of his life, the only love of his life. If it's what you want, then he wants that too. 

The thought sends his mind alive, waking from his exhaustion as he continues to read.

Sliding his hands over your bare body, his lips caress your breasts. Suckling at your nipples with the new intention of having them swell for his child. 

"God, how amazing you're going to look with my child inside you. So pretty and swollen for me." He whispers above your nipple, his breath hardening the bud to stiff peaks.

With a gentle mewl, he spreads your legs. Eyes on yours as his irises begin to swell with lust. 

"Wouldn't you love that, baby? Letting me cum deep inside your fertile womb and give you my son or daughter?" He asks as his fingers knead at the flesh of your thighs.

"Yes! Fuck! I want you to put a baby in me!" You cry out as he begins to smirk deviously.

Yoongi shifts in his seat, hand reaching down for his cock before stopping. God, this was fucking hot. 

Then he imagines you, swollen with his child as he lavishes upon your body. You walking down the street hand in hand as your rub circles onto your stomach. 

"Oh fuck." He mumbles before rubbing at his cock through his briefs. 

Reading through the sheer eroticism you have written, he finds the thought of you becoming pregnant weighing heavily on the front of his mind. Knowing him, he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it until he makes it a reality.

Standing up from the toilet, he opens up the medicine cabinet doors. Rifling through the small objects and toiletries he finds your birth control container. Without a second thought he clutches it tightly in his hand. "Whatever you want, I'll give it to you."

Unlocking the bathroom door, he leans against the door jamb as you lay fast asleep. “Fuck, I love you.” He whispers, before walking back over to his side of the bed.

You can see him staring at you through the big mirror in your bedroom out of the corner of your eye. Shutting your laptop, you meet eyes with him and you both tilt your heads at the same time to each other.

You giggle gently before looking down at the comforter beneath you. You really shouldn’t have been so pissy with him over the last few days, especially when you haven’t even talked to him about why you were so short and rude. 

He knows you too well by now, he probably knows something must be going on with you. It’s just all been coming to a head lately, you could say. Seeing Viola and Taehyung’s baby, seeing pregnant women in the street glowing and looking happy. It makes you feel like something is missing in your life. 

And, you want these things with him. You love him with every ounce of your being. You should just talk to him, just tell him. It scares you, what if you tell him and he says that because of his career it’s not really too hopeful to have a child. It’s nerve wracking.

“What’s up, baby girl?” Your fiance asks as he sits up straighter. His onyx irises feel like daggers through the mirror and you stand up before giving him a sweet smile. 

“Nothing, going to get ready for bed.” He hums to you before throwing his phone on the bedside table. 

Rifling through the medicine cabinet, you raise an eyebrow at where your birth control should be. You move things around before furrowing your eyebrows. 

“Yoongs?” You call to him as you shove his razors and shaving creams out of the way.

“Yeees?” He asks before stepping into the bathroom behind you.

“Have you seen my birth control?” You ask quietly.

You feel his lips press against the back of your neck. Giving soft kisses to your skin, he ignores your question as his hand runs over the hem of your tank top.

“Babe?” You ask gently.

Shoving your tank top up, your breasts bounce freely before being shielded by his hands. He groans as he cups them, squeezing gently. Your body shudders at his touch, pressing back into him as you steady yourself on the granite countertop. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I love you so much.” He murmurs against your skin.

Tilting your head to give him more access, you raise your arm to rifle through more of the medicine cabinet. He’s quick to push your arm back down, grinding his hardening cock against the globes of your ass. 

“You aren’t going to find them, they’re gone.” He tells you as he rolls your stiff peaked nipples with his fingers.

With a whimper, your eyes flutter shut adoring the attention. Especially, when you think you don’t deserve it with how nasty you’ve been with him lately. 

Kissing over the shell of your ear, he holds you closer before thrusting his hand down the front of your sleep shorts. Gasping gently, your hand hooks around the back of his neck. 

“Wh-Why won’t I find them?” You lick your lips as his fingers part the folds of your pussy. 

Suckling small marks of reds and pinks, you can hear his hum. Feel it vibrating through his chest as he holds you so close. 

“Because I have them." He whispers before spreading your feet wider apart with his own. Running his fingers over your cunt, he moans as your slick begins to coat his fingers. Digging into his sweatpants pocket he produces the aluminum packet, holding it between his two fingers.

“Why?” You question him, before biting your lip as he rubs circles onto your clit with his middle and index fingers. 

“Because I’m going to stuff you full of my cum and make you carry my child.” He says nonchalantly.

You gasp loudly as he slaps your pussy gently. How could he know what you wanted? Was he that in tune with you? 

"Can I throw them away baby?" He asks, his breath fans over your ear before nibbling your earlobe.

"Yes." Your voice is breathless. 

Groaning at your response he chucks the packet into the garbage before picking you up with his strong arms. Taking off to the bedroom, he kisses over your neck.

“I’ve been thinking about getting you knocked up for the past few days. It makes my cock so hard to think of you swollen with my child, baby girl.” He says as he throws you unceremoniously down onto the mattress. 

Rubbing your thighs together, you watch him crawl up the bed. His tongue laps slowly over his lower lip as his eyes devour you. 

It sends your heart racing. Knowing that he’s going to fuck you with such intent. Knowing that he’s fucking you with purpose and not just for both of your pleasure. 

“Why do you think I haven’t been shooting all week? I want my cum to be potent for your fertile cunt.” He announces as he climbs over you. 

His hands grip at the sides of your shorts before tugging down roughly. Leaving you bare and open to him as he spreads your legs wide. He eyes your soaked cunt before giving you a lazy smirk. Running his fingers through his blonde hair, you can feel your gut explode with wanting. 

“You’re going to let me fill your sweet pussy up, aren’t you baby? Let me fill you to the brim till your tight little cunt is dripping with it.” You let out a sob of pleasure as he plucks at your nipple with his lips. 

“Yes! I want you to give me a baby so badly!” You whine out as he nestles between your legs.

He lavishes on your breasts, groaning gently as your hips thrust upward. Your pussy clenches around nothing, your clit starting to swell with need. His hands press your hips down firmly to the bed as you writhe beneath his ministrations. He looks up at you, his eyes give a stern warning and you know not to move again without being told. You whimper his name gently as he kisses down your stomach, mouth leaving hot, wet kisses before hovering over your womb.

“Look at you. You beautiful minx, I can’t wait to see you swell with what’s mine.” He whispers before licking from your lower stomach to your sex. His tongue is achingly slow, sending your toes curling as you do your best to keep your ass planted on the bed. 

Kissing and suckling at your slick folds, he moans at the taste of you. Lapping up your arousal on his tongue like it’s his favorite meal. Frankly, it fucking is.

"Oh Yoongs! Fuck!" You whine as his arms hook around your thighs. 

Prodding at your entrance, the amount of arousal that leaks from you has his lower half already rutting into the mattress. When it comes to his job he can stave off any sort of pleasure but with you, he just can't help losing himself. 

He enters his finger into you slowly, enjoying how your thighs twitch and lock as he suckles on your swollen nub. 

"Fuck. You're soaked." He groans loudly against you. 

Adding a second finger, he could already feel you beginning to pulsate around him. Trying your hardest to not move at his request. "Grind on my tongue baby, you deserve it." He murmurs before letting his tongue hang out.

With a mewl, your hands fist at his blonde hair before gyrating your hips. Your eyes meet and the whimper you give has his cock twitching into the mattress. 

"I want it so badly. Want you to get me pregnant with your baby. Fuck me so full of cock and cum." You whine loudly.

His eyes roll back at your words as your breath quickens. His fingers curling so fast inside of you, it must be the work of the devil. 

"I'm gonna cum! Fuck!" White hot pleasure courses through you, cutting your nerves to the quick. 

Your fiance grips hard at your thigh, his fingers pumping into so fast you might have just seen Jesus as you rush towards your precipice of pleasure. 

His tongue flicks your clit at a dangerous speed sending you over the edge moaning his name loudly. Back bowing off of the bed, you cover your mouth with a shaking hand as you let out a sob of pleasure.

He kisses over the inner skin of your thighs waiting patiently for you to come down from your high. Running your fingers through his hair, you wince as he scissors you open.

"I know baby, but I gotta prep you. Your pretty pussy is too tight for my cock." He tells you as his lips drift over your skin. 

Stretching you open, he tugs down his sweatpants before sighing at the freeing feeling. Watching his cock spring out, you let out an involuntary moan at the sight. Precum weeps mercilessly from the head as his tip turns an angry shade of red. 

Spreading your legs wider with his own, he pulls his fingers from you gently. The loss of being full makes you focus more on his cock. As his eyes run over your figure, you can see it pulse and twitch with need. Your mouth goes dry at the sight, hips lifting off the bed at the sheer excitement of being filled with him. 

“I know baby. I’m coming.” Yoongi whispers before running his cock through your slick folds. The stimulation to your clit has your jaw tightening as your teeth grit together. It’s a sexy concoction of overstimulation and need as your body jolts with each rut against you. 

Pressing his lips needily to yours, your tongues collide in heated passion. Gripping the base of his cock, he enters you slowly. Moaning in tandem into each other's mouths. 

“Christ, your cunt is so tight.” He groans out against your lips as he thrusts himself to the hilt. 

Letting you adjust around him, his lips pluck at the column of your neck. “Gonna look so pretty for me, little one. So beautiful with my child inside of you. I can’t wait to eat your needy cunt while rubbing your big belly.” He whispers against your neck, groaning loudly as your pussy clenches around him at his words. 

“Oh, you like that so much don’t you? Picturing my baby inside you as I fuck you every way I can.” He jeers as his fingers roll your nipples almost painfully slow. 

“Yes! I can’t wait to be big for you. Sucking your cock as you play with my milky tits.” You whisper as you card your fingers through his hair. 

“Oh, fuck yeah.” He curses.

Pulling out of you, he steadies himself on his elbows above you before thrusting hard into you. Your hands grip at the sheets beside you, knuckles going white as your head lolls back.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby. Soaking my cock so nicely. Shit.” He whispers in your ear. 

The feeling of his breath producing goosebumps on your skin as he begins to bulldoze himself inside of you. Hooking your legs around his waist, you begin to meet each thrust with your hips. 

“Your cock feels so good inside me! I love when you fuck me!” You moan for him as he sits up on his knees.

Shifting your leg over his body, he presses your legs flat against one another. Your pussy becomes tighter around him at the new angle as he practically turns you on your side. Spanking the globe of your ass, you moan as your skin smarts with the sting of his slap. 

“Gonna take my cum deep in your aching little cunt, aren’t you little one? Let everyone in the street know how well I fuck you to get you so nice and big for me.” His head lolls back, licking at his lips as he grips at your hip. 

Plowing into you, your mind becomes muddled. Babbling and whining as he fucks you with every ounce of passion he has. “Rub your clit for me baby, I’m so close to blowing a load in your sweet pussy.” 

Lifting your leg, he grips your knee as you press it against his stomach. Your fingers rub your clit with furious circles, aided by how much of your slick weeps out of you. "Oh fuck, you feel so good, baby. I'm so close." He whispers as his eyes flutter shut.

His bottom lip purchases between his teeth as he holds your leg tighter to his body. Snapping his hips faster your stomach churns with delight. Your eyes flutter shut as you lift your hips higher, letting the head of his cock brush against the soft patch of nerves inside you.

He could feel your cunt beginning to twitch and clench around his cock and he curses loudly before bending down and kissing you deeply. Swallowing your moans, he groans against you as the head of his cock brushes against your cervix folds. Losing your mind once more, you grip onto his shoulder.

"I'm cumming!" You sob out as your eyes fill with tears.

"Good girl, baby. Cum on my cock. You look so gorgeous when you cum for me." His thumb trails over your bottom lip as you lose yourself in the pleasure.

Your body locks before going boneless as you orgasm. Sobbing loudly, your back bows off the bed. Ears ringing with white noise, you whimper gently. 

"Oh shit! That's it, little one. Your pussy got so tight!" He cries out as he snaps his hips harder. 

His hands grab at your breasts, squeezing and rolling them roughly as his thrusts become erratic and out of rhythm. 

"Oh God, please give me a baby. Take my cum deep in your pretty pussy. Please baby." He begs as he stills inside of you.

"Fuck, take it deep baby girl. Shit!" He cries out as ropes of warm cum paint the walls of your cunt. 

He lets out a shaky breath before burying his face into your neck. "I love you baby so much." 

He pulls out gently before lifting your hips. "Keep 'em up for a bit." He instructs before kissing you sweetly.

"You read Take One, didn't you?" You ask, voice riddled with exhaustion. 

When he doesn't respond you smirk tiredly. His lips drift over your cheek before nodding.

"Forgive me." He whispers to you.

He sits up on his knees before stuffing his cum back into your pussy as it begins to slowly weep from you.

"I'm sorry I wrote it and didn't explain why I was being so coarse with you." He runs his thumb over your bottom lip.

"I love you, little one. We're perfection together and children will only add to our amazing life. I want them with you, too. I want everything with you." He tells you, onyx irises staring earnestly.

You giggle before opening your arms. Laying beside you, he clicks his teeth before pulling you into his side. 

"I love you, too. Always." You say as you hook your chin to his pectoral muscle. He wrinkles his nose to you before kissing your forehead.

Sitting down on the couch, you close your laptop before side eyeing your fiance. 

There he sits, beautiful and poised as ever. Sipping his beer, his hand lands on your thigh. He leaves gentle strokes as he notices the attention you're giving him. 

Turning his head away from the movie, he tilts his head to you before leaning in and kissing your forehead. You smile at the warmth of his lips before coddling into his side. 

"Finished this weeks chapter?" He asks gently as his thumb caresses your skin.

"The last chapter actually." You reply as he offers you a sip of his beer. You shake your head with a smile as you extend your feet to the coffee table. 

"Last chapter? But we have so much more to do together. Like getting married and having kiddies. Buying a house and things of that nature." He whispers as he kisses your cheek.

"The ending is perfect for right now. I would really like you to read it." 

Muting the television, he turns his body towards you fully before furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't read it anymore, you know that. It's a trust thing for us." 

You giggle before putting the laptop on his lap. "Just read it. Okay? It's the last chapter… You might find it...uplifting." You tell him.

Placing the beer on the table, he sucks air in through his teeth before opening up your laptop. "Alright." He mumbles

Your feet find their place tucked underneath you as he begins to read.

There are certain ways that one can feel pure bliss. Whether it be seeing a lost loved one after a long while or hearing a song that strikes all of the right cords inside of you. Pure bliss can come in many forms. 

Today was your form of pure bliss. The sex god, your sex god had finally arrived back home from work. Sweaty, with a tired smile gracing his face as he throws his leather jacket onto the coat rack.

Your insides jump with joy, nervously excited giggles raring to pass your lips as he turns to you.

"Hi beautiful." He murmurs with a wide smile before pecking your lips gently.

"Hi." You whisper again his lips before copying the expression on his face.

His head turns to the dinner table, fully set with hot food waiting in the middle. Two candles on either side, picturesque like it was taken straight out of Good Housekeeping. 

"Wow. This looks amazing. Thank you baby!" Yoongi claps his hands happily as you both walk over to the table. Usually you both sit at the ends of the table but today you've taken the seat beside him.

Grabbing your hand, he gives the back of it a gentle kiss before leaning back in his chair. 

"Why such a lush dinner? Did you see my newest movie?" He asks with a laugh.

Butterflies roam free within you at his question. You giggle with him before holding your breath as he picks up the linen napkin from his dish. He gives a quick glance to the plate before almost giving himself whiplash to look back down at it. Sitting in the middle of the plate is a monochrome picture. 

Just a little hint of something white inside grey matter. Taking a sharp breath, he lets out a strangled noise before shaking hands approach the picture. "Oh my God." He whispers before clutching at the paper.

Your hands press together like a prayer as you bring them to your lips. He lets out a loud sob, eyes screwing shut as his hands continue to shake.

"You're pregnant?!" He cries out loudly.

"Yes. I'm pregnant." You say with a giggle as he kicks his chair away. Grabbing your wrist tighter he hauls you up before burying your face into his chest. 

"Oh, little one. Thank you." He cries as he holds you tightly to his body.

Yoongi wipes at his eyes before turning his head to you and sniffing quietly.

"It's beautiful, baby. Seriously. You need to be published. Get your own movie or something." Your fiance says as he closes his laptop.

With a smile, you lean your head against the top of the couch. "So what do you think about me being pregnant?" You ask gently.

He smirks before placing the hardware down on the table and grabbing you. He holds you close to his chest and you can feel his steady heartbeat which has become your life song. 

"We're trying, it'll come babe." He whispers as he runs his hand over your head in a calming manner.

"I use Take One as a diary. It's there to help me keep track of real life events too." He hums in reply before swaying your bodies in tandem.

He smiles unknowingly as his eyes shut. Real life events? Real life?

You wait patiently for it to set it, staring at the television as it lights up with different scenes of the movie he was watching. 

Then all at once, he goes rigid and you give a relieved laugh.

"Didn't take too long now did it?" You tease him as he pulls away from you.

Looking back up at him, his eyes are wide. Pressing both hands to either side of your face, you can see his eyes beginning to water with emotional tears.

"You're pregnant? With my baby? My perfect, precious baby?" He asks and he takes in a deep breath as you nod.

He scoffs loudly before sobbing. He caresses your cheeks with his thumbs as his eyes screw shut. His chest racks with emotion as he bites his bottom lip. 

"Fuck I love you." He cries.

His lips press to yours and you close your eyes to take in the passionate kiss.

"I love you too." You whisper against him.

Yoongi groans as he sits down in the director chair. He sips his coffee before looking over the set for the day. He chuckles to himself before folding his arms.

It's your voice that has his head cocking to the side as you step on the set. Stomach so large he's certain you can't even see your feet today. 

"Hi my loves." He says as he holds his hand out to you.

You wrinkle your nose, grabbing his hand as you place a kiss to his temple. 

"Hey boss man! I'm ready to go." He hears from the side of the set and his attention turns to the owner of the voice as he rubs at your belly.

"Y/N, this is Park Jimin. He'll be playing Yoongi in Take One." He introduces the younger man.

You bow your head to him as you take a seat besides your husband. Lazily he rubs at your stomach before calling everyone to their places. 

"Look at us, huh? A director and a screenplay writer for the biggest porn films in the industry. Who would have thought?" He whispers in your ear as the lights begin to dim.

With a laugh you nudge his shoulder as Jimin props himself up against the hotel door just like the first chapter of Take One.

As the scene begins, you find your attention wavering to your newly married husband. Tilting your head, you take in his handsome features. A god among men.

The giddiness explodes inside of you as normal and you feel his son kick inside of you. With a snort, your thumb runs over his wedding band as he holds his hand.

Who knew writing a simple story would get you here? In the greatest place you could ever dream of?

There’s something magical about meeting the right someone. Captivating, even. The way irises flit between one another in a moment of glorious silence. The breath that is held within one’s chest as you stare longingly at the other person before you. Hands could shake from nerves, excitement- both, even. It had never happened for Min Yoongi. Until you. 

[raphaelapproves]

Because I am a Menace™️ and I think I have to update my carrds, the current BG3 and BG3-related blog list and their current status. Active means either I have muse and have and/or would love threads/more threads:

The List

@thishouseofhope // main // Raphael and some Haarlep, maybe a few other House of Hope NPCs // VERY ACTIVE

@morethandarkness // main // a multi for all of my drow babies, original and canon/adopted // VERY ACTIVE

@darkeningdawn // main // original character, pawn daughter of Lathander // ACTIVE

@stalwartprotector // main // Halsin // HIATUS or with plotting

@lionofthealliance // main // Varian Wrynn from World of Warcraft // ACTIVE, BG3 verse available

@thefaithbroken // side // Zevlor // VERY ACTIVE

@banefultyrant // side // Lord Enver Gortash // ACTIVE

@onlyfaerietales // side // multi for original and canon fantasy from different sources, adapted to BG3 // HIATUS or with plotting

@weariedshield // side // 'Demon' Schilder from Path to Nowhere mobile game // ACTIVE, BG3 verse available

--------

Soon to be properly set up, maybe as early as this weekend if motivation holds

@dirgeforthedead // side // a likely highly headcanon-based and canon-divergent Dark Urge [ VERY loud so almost definitely will get set up all the way this weekend ]

@spareastory // side // Asharak

@immenselytalented // side // Rolan

@nomoreyielding // side // AU Dream Visitor [ premise; what if he was someone different entirely ]

@consumedbyshadows // side // Pitch Black from Rise of the Guardians / Guardians of Childhood series [ BG3 verse will be available; apparently he has returned after literal years of silence and he is very loud ]

@guiltbound // side // Vincent Valentine [ this will be specifically for BG3 verse(s) one of which I came up with while writing Varian's BG3 verse, based off of a discord WoW verse with @hopeteased who only enables me ]

Why am I like this? Could they all just go on one multi? No, because then they wouldn't all have their own distinct aesthetic and my brain says Absolutely not unless there is a unifying theme. And even then sometimes it or someone won't cooperate. 😂

[monsterenergysimp]

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader 

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you 

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.  

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

    shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

    i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

    NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats  super cool actually

    i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and       youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

    [link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

     No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

     I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?  

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

    xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

[snelbz]

Life As We Know it {Chapter 15}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta looked in the mirror and figured she looked decent enough. Having not been on an actual date in quite some time, she felt a little off her game, but the dress she had chosen felt better than the others she had tried on.

After admiring the deep, crimson color and the way her breasts looked in the low neckline, Nesta sprayed her hair and slipped on her heels before grabbing her clutch and walking down the stairs.

Nyx was in the living room, bouncing up and down in his exersaucer. When he saw Nesta, he grinned.

“Hi, sweet boy,” she said, leaning down to kiss the top of his head and hoping her lipstick hadn’t rubbed off. “Cassian?”

“Kitchen!”

“I’m heading out,” Nesta said, leaning back up.

He was a room away, in the kitchen, making the gods knew what for their dinner. Nyx always ate whatever she made for him, but it was typically a challenge. Earlier in the week, Cass had started deviating from his generic meals for Nyx of jarred baby food and puffs. It seemed like it didn’t matter what the man fed him, Nyx adored it.

She made her way into the other room and stood behind a chair at the kitchen table and cleared her throat. “I shouldn’t be home too late,” she said, drumming her fingers along the wood.

Cass glanced back at her and his eyebrows rose. “You sure? You look pretty nice for shouldn’t be home too late.”

Blushing, she said, “We’re just going to dinner.”

He turned back to the stove, where he was sautéing some broccoli and carrots, but she caught the smirk on his face. “I doubt dinner will be the only thing he wants to eat.”

A knock from the front door halted whatever her response was going to be.

For a moment, neither of them moved, then Cassian blinked. “Are you going to get that or should I?”

Nesta huffed as she made her way back through the house and opened the front door.

Balthazar was there, that glorious smile plastered on his handsome face. His brown eyes went wide in appreciation. “Wow. You look incredible.”

Nesta looked down at her dress before saying, “Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.”

“Thanks-.”

“Alright, don’t keep her out too late and make sure she doesn’t drink too much.” Nesta spun around to find Cassian leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. “She’s not a pretty drunk.”

She widened her eyes at him, not sure if he was joking or not. The glimmer in his eyes said yes, but she couldn’t be sure.

Balthazar narrowed his eyes slightly, his gaze trailing down Cassian’s arms. “Are you Illyrian?”

Nesta swore she felt the tension in the room thicken at the three words.

“I am,” Cassian said, and she wondered if the flexing of his arms was intentional or not. “So I’d be real careful what the next words out of your mouth are.”

Balthazar smirked and unbuttoned one of his shirt sleeves, rolling it up to reveal—

Illyrian markings.

Cassian’s brows shot up and Nesta looked back and forth between the two of them.

“You’re from Illyria?” Nesta asked, once it was clear that Cassian wouldn’t say a thing.

“I am,” Balthazar said. “Grew up in the mountains. Moved here nearly a decade ago, but my parents still live there. I go there a couple of times a year.”

Cassian whistled before Nesta could say anything. “The mountains are beautiful. My mom used to take me up there for a getaway when I was younger.”

“Ah, yeah, I love it there,” Balthazar said. “I’d love to move back someday.”

Nesta cleared her throat, awkwardly. “I hate to break up this bonding moment, but we do have dinner reservations.”

“Right, of course,” Balthazar said, nodding. He stepped back, letting Nesta by. “If you’re ready, we can go.”

“Cass, have a good night,” she said, throwing him a look over her shoulder.

“Yeah, y’all, have fun,” he said, smirking at her as he closed the door behind them.

Balthazar walked Nesta to his car, opening her door for her and heading to his own side, climbing behind the driver seat. They rode in silence for a second before Balthazar said, “I’m glad you said yes.”

Nesta, despite herself, blushed as she looked over at him across the car. “I am, too.”

*

Cassian hadn’t been lying when he told Nesta he wanted her to go out with the doctor. If she had a boyfriend, he’d be less likely to think about sleeping with her again.

But he hadn’t expected to see another Illyrian at the front door. There would have been no way he could’ve known, since Nyx had only had to go to the doctor once while they’d had him, but surely Rhys would have mentioned that his son’s doctor was Illyrian at least once. There weren’t many Illyrians in Velaris, most of them choosing to stay in Illyria, to the north.

He hated that Balthazar was a nice guy.

A great guy.

A damn Illyrian.

While Nesta was gone, Cassian tried to keep his mind off of her on her date. And yet, it’s all he could think about, which was ridiculous. Nesta deserved to be happy, deserved to have fun.

And Cassian wasn’t complaining. He loved hanging out with Nyx, loved doing all the things that uncles did. And yet, Cassian felt off.

Everything was better when Nesta was around.

Nyx whimpered and Cassian seemed to understand as he lifted his nephew out of his bouncy seat and cradled him in his arms.

“Aunt Nesta will be home soon,” he crooned, bouncing Nyx.

The baby still looked around, looking for her.

For the first couple months after the accident, Nyx had constantly looked around, constantly searched for Rhys and Feyre. But recently, he hadn’t been looking around much anymore, and when he was it was for one of them.

Silently, Cassian had hoped it didn’t mean he was forgetting about Rhys and Feyre.

He sighed, carrying him to the kitchen. “Uncle Cass wants some ice cream, how does that sound?”

He clapped once and Cassian chuckled. He got a big bowl, with two spoons and settled back on the couch, Nyx next to him.

Nyx’s bites were much smaller, and Cassian tried his best not to laugh when his eyebrows bunched together, a little brain freeze hitting him unexpectedly. After he’d had a few bites, Cassian set him down on the carpet, letting him crawl over to where his toys sat on the floor.

“When are you gonna walk, dude?” He asked, watching as he banged two plastic blocks against each other.

Nyx had mastered pulling himself up right before he turned one. Yet for whatever reason, he still hasn’t taken his first steps. He and Nesta talked about it a lot, and they’d discussed whether it was something they should ask his doctor about.

He supposed Nesta could do so tonight if she was so inclined.

“It’s about time for bed, you know,” Cassian said, watching as Nyx threw his toys across the living room. “For you and me. Once you go to sleep, I’ll be right behind you.”

Nyx made a noise that nearly made Cassian laugh out loud.

“Exactly,” Cassian went on. “So, let’s get you in your pajamas, then Uncle Cassian is going to relax for a while.”

Nyx didn’t protest as Cassian carried him upstairs and started to get him ready for bed. Cassian gave Nyx a bath and got him into his pajamas before he laid him in his crib. After patting his belly, Cassian went back downstairs and laid on the couch.

He laid in silence for ten minutes before deciding that Nyx was sound asleep and nothing would wake him.

Now, all he could think about was Nesta’s date.

He didn’t let himself think about why that was.

*

Nesta wasn’t sure she had laughed this hard in months. She was actually fairly sure she hadn’t.

Not since before the accident.

“Wait, wait,” she said, using her napkin to dab underneath her eyes, having laughed so hard that tears slipped out. “There were how many people there?”

“At least two thousand at the game and way, way more watching on TV,” Balthazar replied, cringing, reliving the time he’d accidentally been pantsed during a championship baseball game in college.

And had left nothing to the imagination.

Nesta was laughing again, but took a sip of her wine and shook her head. She was having an amazing time. The conversation was coming easily, the food was delicious, and Bal had made a spectacular wine choice.

He reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m having a good time,” she admitted, surprising herself.

He brushed a thumb over her knuckles and smiled. “I am, too.”

Nesta looked down where their hands met. His hands were interesting. Softer than she expected, but strong. Not rough, at all, like Cassian’s were.

Her eyes snapped up to Bal’s.

She wasn’t going to think about Cassian.

“You know, I hear they have amazing desserts here,” Nesta went on, keeping her hand in his.

“I hear the same,” Balthazar said. “In fact, I may have ordered us a sample board while you were in the ladies’ room.”

Nesta raised a brow. “Is that so?”

Balthazar nodded with a grin. “I figured why only taste one when you can taste them all?”

Nesta laughed, quietly. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Just as dessert came, Balthazar ordered another bottle of wine, and Nesta was blown away. Once again, she knew that doctors made good money, but it was surely the most extravagant date she had ever been on.

Having already eaten the cheesecake and the pavlova, Nesta scooped up a bite of chocolate cake and moaned. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she sighed, delighted.

When she opened her eyes, Balthazar was watching her, intently.

Nesta’s cheeks turned pink.

If she would have been asked to sleep with Balthazar a week before, she would have surely said yes. But now? Even with that look in his eye, she hesitated. He was handsome. Sexy, even, and she was certain that underneath his suit he was built like a Greek god. He was charming. He was kind. He was a perfect gentleman.

On paper, he was complete and utter perfection in every single way.

A part of her — a bigger part of her than she liked to admit — however, couldn’t shake the pleasure she had received only nights before by someone who was very much not the man sitting across the table from her now.

“I’m stuffed,” Nesta said, at last, draining what was left in her wine glass.

“Happily stuffed or in pain stuffed?” Balthazar asked, his voice a little quieter, that look in his eye remaining.

Nesta chuckled, softly. “Oh, happily, for sure.”

“Good,” Balthazar replied, and waved to the server for their check.

They were back in his car within fifteen minutes, and Balthazar reached across the middle console to take Nesta’s hand.

She let him.

“I have to confess,” Balthazar began, his voice just above the soft radio, “that I don’t want this night to end.”

“Does that mean that you’re taking me out again?” Nesta asked, looking over at him.

He smiled, not taking his eyes off the road. “Does that mean you’re saying yes to another date?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” she replied, tracing the line of his long fingers with her free hand. She quietly admitted, “Though, I won’t have another free Saturday for a couple of weeks.”

“That’s okay.” He pulled their joined hands across the console and pressed his lips to the back of her hand. “I can wait.”

His lips were warm against her skin, and he had just a bit of stubble on his face, enough to tickle, not to scratch. She swallowed roughly, wondering again what he would be like as a lover. From what she knew of him, she was almost sure that he would be sure, slow and calculated. Everything he’d do would be to ensure her pleasure, which she certainly wouldn’t be opposed to, but…

She wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted anymore, not when she knew how amazing it could be to be with someone who was completely unleashed, who was frenzied as he tried to bring her to release, and—

Balthazar said something and Nesta was completely lost in her thoughts. She cleared her throat, grateful he couldn’t see the blush on her cheeks as she said, “I’m sorry, I was out of it for a moment.”

He chuckled quietly. “It’s okay. I asked if you might want to see a movie one night this week, if you had any free nights?”

Nesta thought about it for a moment. “I’m free on Thursday.”

“Thursday,” he repeated, and nodded. “Alright. Thursday. I’ll pick you up at seven?”

“Perfect,” Nesta said, smiling as Balthazar pulled into her driveway.

He parked, got out, opened Nesta’s door, and walked her up to the front door. “Until Thursday, then.”

“Until Thursday,” she promised. He leaned forward and kissed her, softly.

It was a quick kiss, but it was nice.

They said their goodbyes then Nesta was opening the door, making her way inside.

The house was quiet, as she expected it to be at a quarter till eleven. After slipping off her shoes and setting her clutch near the door, Nesta was tiptoeing through the house, only stopping when she caught sight of Cassian sprawled across the couch.

She couldn’t help the smile that bloomed as she looked at him. He had one of Nyx’s stuffed animals clutched in his hand, halfway behind his head almost as if he was using it as a pillow. One of his legs hung off the side of the couch, his foot pressed flat against the floor, and Nesta couldn’t help the quiet chuckle as she stood there, looking at him. He looked so peaceful while he was asleep, his face relaxed and almost boyish like this. It was so at odds with the smirking mischief she usually saw there. She wondered if this is what he would have looked like if she would have asked him to stay in her bed the other night. Shaking her head, Nesta quickly banished the thought, not wanting to detract from the almost perfect date she’d just had.

Glancing around the living room, she noticed that it was an absolute wreck. Toys were strewn everywhere, as if they’d been thrown as far as Nyx’s little hands could manage them, and a completely melted, but mostly empty bowl of ice cream sat on the coffee table. Unable to stop the quiet chuckle, she silently picked up Nyx’s toys, putting them back in the basket where they belonged. She also scooped up the remains of the bowl of ice cream and carried it into the kitchen.

She turned the water on a low stream and was rinsing out the bowl when she heard a sleepy voice behind her.

“You’re home early.”

The rasp in his voice made her knees weak.

She looked over her shoulder to find Cassian leaning against the doorframe, his eyelids half fallen, one hand scratching the back of his neck.

Nesta chuckled. “Early? Must not be too early if you’re drooling all over the couch cushions.”

Cassian huffed a laugh as he came up behind her. “You don’t have to do that. I was planning on cleaning it.”

“No big deal,” she said, placing it in the dishwasher. “I’m pretty awake, thought I’d take care of a few things anyway.”

Cassian nodded as he leaned back against the island. “So…”

Nesta turned and crossed her arms as she leaned back against the counter. “So.”

“Did you have fun with Doctor Wonderful?” Cassian asked.

“I did,” she said, leaving it at that.

He waited for a moment, but when it was clear that that was all she was going to give him, he asked, “Yet you’re home before midnight and are wide awake enough to clean up after me and the baby?”

Nesta knew what he was asking, what he was insinuating, without voicing the words.

Why didn’t you go home with him?

“It would seem so,” she replied, a hand reaching up okay with the charm dangling from her necklace.

Cassian’s eyes tracked each motion as the charm zipped back and forth along the chain. His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip and he nodded. “Well, I’m glad you had a good time.”

She wasn’t sure if she was waiting for him to say something else, but when he abruptly turned and headed for the stairs, she blurted, “How was your night?”

Pausing, Cassian turned back to look at her. He laughed quietly, and said, “My night doesn’t matter, Nes. Just as long as you had fun. Goodnight.”

He didn’t give her a second to reply as he turned the corner and she heard his footsteps thumping up the stairs. A moment later, his door closed.

Nesta spent far too long thinking about his words after he left.

Just as long as you had fun.

Why did such kind, simple words bother her so much?

[dailylogyn]

My late late entries for Logyn Appreciation Week

Day 3: Favorite Depiction

Mythology, especially Tommy Krappweis’s, Mara and the Firebringer. He depicts them in a way that Pop Media can’t seem to get right, both as a couple and individuals. In the movie/books, Loki and Sigyn are happily married despite his imprisonment as Sigyn holds the bowl over him to protect him from venom (just like in Mythology.) During it, she gets kidnapped by Loge who wants to use Sigyn for her powers. Loki is willing to freakin break free and start Ragnarok in order to get her back safe and sound, but instead calls upon Mara for help in getting her back. It’s honestly the greatest depiction of Loki and Sigyn I’ve seen so far and it’s so accurate to Norse Mythology. Please, just check it out if you haven’t already. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY TAG ON IT: HERE!

Day 4: Favorite Logyn Fanart/Edit

We have such amazing artists/creators in this fandom that it’s honestly hard for me to pick a favorite. You don’t know how blessed we are to just get Loki & Sigyn content from them in general, so I’m gonna list the ones I know off the top of my head to honor them: @dank-art​ @ellecaterina​ @sigynoffidelity​ @nanigram​ 

Day 5: Your Thoughts on Loki and Sigyn and why you support them

They are honestly such an UNDERRATED couple in Norse Mythology. They deserve more attention that they get. I mean, they are just two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other, there is no other way to describe them. I just constantly wonder how the compassionate, loving, and steadfast Sigyn managed to capture the heart of the chaotic, rebellious, trickster that is Loki. They are such opposites, but yet, somehow balance each other together perfectly. 

It honestly SICKENS me when Pop Culture Media, especially ones like Marvel Comics and Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard in particular -- as well as haters/people who misunderstand them -- depict Loki as abusive towards Sigyn forcing her into things and making Sigyn out to be a doormat who goes along with it willingly. NONE OF THIS WAS EVER MENTIONED IN THE MYTHS, so it baffles me that this is what people come down to concluding with the few surviving myths we have of them. It’s why their relationship is usually so misunderstood. 

Loki and Sigyn deserve better. It’s why I created this blog and @sigynappreciation​ to help spread awareness towards them and put misconceptions/misunderstandings about them to rest. It’s 2022 people, they deserve to have their story told in a positive light. 

Day 6: If you had to choose one to expand on...Marvel or Mythology?

This is one that’s hard for me to choose because I’d love to known what tells of them from Mythology we don’t even know because they didn’t survive over the centuries....but I also want Marvel to do Loki & Sigyn Justice for  how they depicted their relationship dirty in the comics from the 70s-90s. 

But ultimately I’d have to say Mythology because that is where their story first started. It’s where they came from. AND JUST THINK OF ALL THE PIECES OF IT WE ARE MISSING BECAUSE IT DIDN’T SURVIVE. There is SO MUCH to their story we don’t even freakin know. GWAHHHH.

Day 7: Free Choice!

I don’t have anything else in mind, so I’m just gonna share one of my favorite rants I did of how Pop Culture Media does Loki and Sigyn dirty with @noooomygabbages​ because I’m always willing to rant anytime someone does Loki and Sigyn wrong. 

It just speaks A THOUSAND WORDS on what the Logyn Fandom feels 24/7:

[byuntrash101]

PARAPHILIA - Part 3

Pairing: sub!Baekhyun x CEO!Reader

Genre: EstablishedRelationship!AU, slice of life, fluff (a tiny bit), smut

Tags: gentle dom/sub dynamics, sub!Baekhyun, apron, footjob, feet in mouth, praising, cum play

Raiting: +18 (you know me 🤪)

Word count: 3k

Summary: when you come back home from a very tiring day of work, your boyfriend Baekhyun knows exactly how to calm your nerves: with a foot massage.

A/N: This one has a different kind of dynamic since it’s gentle femdom. You see, the girl behing this blog is a switch so I hope you can enjoy this content too. Anyways don’t hesitate to comment or slide into my asks💖💖. - Cat 😽

Tag list:  @lovebuginlove @calamell @bobohumyonlyboo @smolbeanmika @making-me-blush @wooya1224 @yixing-jaehyun @f4ncyvelvet @lalalala-lav @deligxt @xofanfics @byunsugar @dixnysustae @to-all-the-stories-i-love @artisticcgroove @myexoobsession  @geniusloey @blahblahblah-boo

Tell me if you want to be added/removed

PARAPHILIA masterlist | General masterlist 

Paraphilia #3: Podophilia, sexual attraction to feet

W O R S H I P

You massage your temple in small circles as you try your hardest to concentrate on the road, driving your black Mercedes SUV. Today was a really rough day at work.

You were CEO of a startup company that designs programmes protecting video games and preventing hackers to illegally distribute the games. The company is ever growing as the hackers become more and more inventive.

Today you met with Kazuo 'Kaz' Hirai, CEO of the Playstation branch of the Sony Interactive Entertainment group. You had to negotiate a contract to be the company to protect every playstation exclusive game that was to be released in the next five years. Needless to say, a huge deal for you and your company.

"Aishh..." you scoffed as you recalled the cold expression of the japanese middle aged man. That old fart was really stubborn and strong headed. But so were you which made the negotiations rather difficult. After hours and hours of negotiating you finally came to an agreement interesting enough to the both of you, your firm but also Sony.

So yes it was a really rough day. And you were tired... and hungry. Very hungry you thought as you pulled over in the drive away of the modern residence.

Once in the entry you were instantly greeted by the smell of delicious food coming from the kitchen. You didn't even bother taking off your high heeled black pumps and simply directly walked to the dining room.

There you find the table neatly arranged for two. Your boyfriend Baekhyun comes in from the kitchen and instantly jumps when he sees you.

"You scared me! I didn't hear you coming!" he says holding his chest. You puff out a laugh.

He still has the oven mits on, he's wearing a casual pastel green shirt with comfy jeans, topped with a cute blue apron. He's just adorable.

"Sorry I'm so tired I just didn't feel like yelling "i'm home" when I came in"

"I knew it was going to be a tiring day for you so I made you dinner" he came over to you and took off the oven mits then your coat and purse which he placed on the coffee table. He pulled the chair for you.

"That's so gentlemanly of you thank you" you said as you were getting seated. He bowed his head returning your smile before disappearing into the kitchen.

Soon he came back holding the food. Your eyes lit up at the delicious sight and you sat up on your chair. Baekhyun served you and himself then sat just right in front of you.

"Thank you for the food" you said as you leaned in and extended your arm to gently squeeze his hand over the table. He lightly blushes.

"You're welcome" he said before looking down on his chest. "Oops I forgot to take the apron off." he stood up again but you stopped him.

"No keep it on... I think it suits you! It's cute" you smiled at him, he smiled and sat back down.

You proceeded to eat, during the meal Baekhyun kept quiet about your work. He knew it was better to let you eat and enjoy a peaceful evening before actually starting to ask questions. Even though it killed him not to know and he just wanted to bombard you with a thousand questions.

"Aaah... I'm so full" you said rubbing your stomach. Baekhyun cutely smiled at you, his eyes forming crescents that complimented nicely his constellation moles.

"I'm glad you liked it"

"Of course I loved it you're the best cook ever" he was embarrassed at the compliment but flattered anyway.

"Thank you" he then marked a silence and hesitantly asked. "Hmmm... y/n... so how were the negotiations?" finally he asked the question that was burning his lips. You sighed. You would have liked it if he had waited until tomorrow to ask you but on the other hand you understood his curiosity. This contract was a turning point for the company.

"Well... it was... difficult" you said simply. Baekhyun stayed silent only waiting for more details. "Yes... basically I had to cut back on a lot of things I asked... I mean they were the bigger company at the table so I didn't have much negotiation power..." Baekhyun creased his eyebrows, worried. "But I still managed to secure a good deal. So, yes, next week we will officially sign the papers" you said finally. Baekhyun bursted in a loud celebration, which took you by surprise.

"Honey! that's great! you worked so hard for this!"

"Yeah" you said unconvinced... Honestly to you it somehow felt like a small defeat since you had to cut back on so many things but at the same time you had no other choice... "I think I'm just frustrated about how it actually went down, you know?" Baekhyun took your hand in his.

"Honey... the most important thing is that even if the deal isn't the absolute best it's still good for the company and if you do a good job in the course of the next 5 years they will want to work with you again and maybe other big companies will also want to... Next target Nintendo!" He said with a huge smile, gently rubbing your hand with his thumb.

That is something you always loved about Baekhyun. After dating for so long people complain about your significant other not being surprising anymore. When truly it's the best thing about having a relationship. The person staring back at you knows you like you two share the same heart. When your mind is full and you can't seem to put your thoughts into words… you don't have to because they know you. Baekhyun knows you. 

He cheers you on when you're down. Sees the positive when you are tired of restlessly hoping. He's your light. He lights up your path everywhere you go.

He was adorable, staring back at you with dark brown eyes and the cute blue apron. So so cute... that unholy ideas started to form inside your dirty mind.

"You're right" you said looking back at him. Under the table you extended your leg and started to rub your foot on his pants. Baekhyun instantly stiffened, his smile dropped. "If only there was a way that I could relax..." you smirked at him with suggestive eyes.

"M-maybe a f-foot massage?" Baekhyun asked hesitantly, he was such a cutie stuttering like this. It made your heart melt.

"Why not?" you said shrugging, acting casual.

Baekhyun took a step in your direction but you stopped him.

"No!" he stopped in his tracks. Looked him up and down, licking your lips, anticipating what was to come. "Crawl to me" you said, smirking again. Baekhyun's warm smile was nowhere to be seen. Instead, it was replaced by that soft submissive expression that you loved so much.

Without a word he got on all fours and slowly approached you, not breaking the eye contact you had. His face was slightly blushed, mixed with embarrassment and anticipation.

Once he reached you, you gently cupped his cheeks.

"Good boy" you praised him. Then you pushed back your chair and rotated on your butt to face him. You crossed your leg and presented him the foot that was hanging in the air. "Now do your thing"

Baekhyun looked up at you then he placed one hand over the heel of your shoe to support your leg the other hand behind your calf. He laid a soft kiss on your ankle and trailed his way down to stop where the shoe went over your toes. He looked up at you for further instructions.

"Lick it" you said. He didn't hesitate to stick his tongue out and lightly flick it against the shiny leather. A satisfied smile spread on your lips. He kissed the shoe again and you felt him lightly pull on the heel to take it off. You quickly lifted his chin with the pointy tip of the shoe.

"No.. Not yet" he whimpered cutely. He's so impatient. "Stand" you command. He does as he's told. "Now strip but keep the apron" he nods

He slips his hands underneath the blue apron and starts to unbutton his shirt. He then takes off one sleeve then the other one. He drops the pastel shirt to the ground. His toned arms move to mesmerize you. You bite on your bottom lip as he continues the show.

He moves on to unbuckle his belt and peels the denim off his skin. Finally he removes his boxers which he throws to the side.

He's left completely naked apart from the apron, which is tightly hugging him. The thin fabric is letting little to the imagination. You can clearly see his broad shoulders and arms who rest at his side and Baekhyun's pretty pink nipples. You let your eyes go down where you can see your boyfriend's bulge pitching a slightly twitchy tent underneath. You lick your lips thinking he's already so excited for you.

"Kiss me" you said lifting your head up slightly. Baekhyun bent down and linked his lips with yours in a heated and passionate kiss. 

You untangled your fingers in his hairs, lightly pulling on it, which made him cutely whimper into your mouth. You took the opportunity to push your tongue inside his mouth and deepen the kiss, pulling harder on his hair. He let out cute muffled moans. Then finally you let go of him. He was panting, face flushed red and his hair was messy.

"Now you may remove my shoes" you uncrossed your legs and laid both your feet flat on the ground. Baekhyun hurriedly kneeled down and removed both your shoes, setting them neatly on the side. Your feet made contact with the cold tiles of the dining room. But you didn't mind at all.

"Now lick them" you commanded. Baekhyun was ready to lift your feet to his mouth but you stopped him. "No get down there and lick them from the ground" you said sternly.

Baekhyun placed both his palms on the floor and bent his arms until his cheek touched the tiles. His ass was up in the air when he started to lick your toes. The tickling sensation sent goosebumps on your body and you sighed in satisfaction, fully enjoying the power you held over him.

You then slowly lifted your foot to give him access to your soles. He never broke contact with your foot and his face followed as you lifted it, bringing him back in his initial kneeling position. When he could finally lick your sole he didn't wait for a second. He licked your foot from the heel up to the toes. Your soles were his favourite part and you knew it. You smirked when you saw him indulge himself in the moment.

"Suck my toes" you commanded again. He nodded vigorously, tightly grabbing your foot and as he opened his mouth to bring your big toe inside it. He looked back at you and a soft moan escaped your lips feeling his wet mouth around your foot. "Such a good boy" you moaned softly, your breathing getting ever so slightly quicker.

"Enough!" You say before abruptly taking back your foot. You push him on his chest which causes him to fall back on his butt and his palms flat on the tiles. In this position the tent he's pitching is very visible. And you can't wait to finally see it.

You bring your toes underneath the apron around his crotch area and with a flick of the ankle you push back the fabric over the belt.

Finally you lay eyes on his twitching and aching cock. Precum is already seeping from the slit and you can't help but to smile from ear to ear when you finally uncover it.

"Look at this... Aren't we excited?" you asked, bringing your toes to his balls. Baekhyun stiffens.

"Y-yes" he whispers, unable to take off his eyes from your feet. You lightly lift your foot to the base of his shaft and he buckles up his hips, impatient.

"No no... you have to be good, okay? Are you gonna be a good boy for me?" you coo.

"Yes!" he says excitedly, his eyes still on your foot, nearly popping out of their sockets.

"Good boy" you say before wrapping his cock with both feet and starting to pump his swollen dick. Immediately his eyes roll back as he bites his bottom lip. You pick up the pace and Baekhyun looks back at you. You normally don't go this hard right away but he's not complaining. He feels so good from the footjob.

Baekhyun's saliva really lubed up your feet and they glide easily on his precum oozing dick. You continue to harshly jerk his cock with your feet.

"Fuck... Honey... This is... Aaah... so gooddd!!" he says moaning shamelessly in between each word. He sounds so needy and whiny and most of all he looks absolutely delighted with his eyebrows deeply furrowed and his mouth hanging open.

You felt him twitch around your toes and withdraw them immediately before he can spill his juice. Baekhyun let out a disappointed whimper as the pleasure fades away. You can't help but to smirk when you see him squirm.

"Get up" you command him.

You stand up from the chair and flip the table cloth over the dirty dishes, making way for you to sit.

You take your time, taking every single piece of clothing off you, striping sensually for your boyfrined who thickly swallows as you're removing the last piece of fabric.

You set your bottom on the dark wood of the dining table and lean back over on your elbow, your knees together bent back on your chest. Baekhyun stands in front of you, his dark red cock seeping precum and twitching.

You then part your knees slowly, uncovering your glistening pink folds absolutely drenched in your juices. You're feeling incredibly aroused. Baekhyun is in awe in front of such a view. No matter how many times he's seen you, every time he still is breathless.

"Come here baby" you say as you gesture to him to come close. "Now fuck me baby" you murmur in a sultry tone.

Baekhyun can't believe his ears. Rare are the occasions when you let him fuck you. Most of the time you are on top and in control. But today he's been such a good boy you exceptionally let him be on top.

He doesn't take one more second to align himself with your lonely and aching center. Slowly he pushes himself inside you. The slip is easy as your juices coat even your inner thighs. You gasp delightfully at the sensation of him gently stretching you open.

"Fuck... Y/n...Aaaah" Baekhyun lets out a high pitched moan that wakes up the butterflies in your stomach. You love to hear his struggling moans.

"Fuck me faster" you command your boyfriend who has his eyes tight shut, trying his hardest not to bust right away.

He takes a bruising grip on your fleshy thighs and gradually he picks up the pace, waves of heat and pleasure wash over your entire body as you shamelessly moan while Baekhyun makes your breasts jump with each thrust.

"Tell me how good this feels baby" you tell him, craving more of his high pitched and needy voice. Baekhyun whimpers before answering.

"Aaah... Your pussy feels so good" he says before letting go of one of your thighs to bring your foot to his face. He buried his nose in your sole. "Fuck... aaaah... Honey" he sounds pleading, so submissive despite the fact that he's the one over you roughly pounding into you.

He gasps when he feels your walls tightening around him. He takes one of your toes in his mouth. He makes you feel so good, the way he doesn't restrain his thrusts has you gasping each time his tip kisses your cervix. Your moans and his mix in a beautiful symphony that resonates in the empty dining room.

"Baekhyun don't stop I'm gonna cum" You moan as you extend your hand to bring a little attention to your clit. With two fingers your circle your swollen and needy bud. The pleasure rises again and beads of sweat roll in between your bouncing tits.

"Fuckk... I'm cumming too" he says in one breathy moan, your toes hanging on his lips.

"Aaaah yes baby" you moan finally letting go of the knot in your stomach. Your pussy tightly clenching around Baekhyun's cock, milking it to the last drop of cum.

Baekhyun then pulls out to spread the last streams of cum on your feet, which you bring in front of his pulsing cock and point out. You feel the hot liquid coat your toes and your ankles as Baekhyun cusses and moans loudly.

He then staggers to one of the chairs and crashes on it. His cock still pulsing in his fist, chest heaving and glistening with sweat.

You look at him straight in the eyes when you bring your feet to your mouth and lick them clean. The bitter and sweet taste of Baekhyun's cum fills your mouth. You close your eyes fully enjoying it, moaning against your toes on your lips. Baekhyun looks at you being this naughty with an evil glint in the eye.

"Baby you taste so good" you whisper. Baekhyun smiles, still panting and exhausted.

"Does that mean I'll get to be on top more often?" he asks.

"Hmmm..." you bring your finger to scratch your chin, fainting to think deeply.

"No" you say with a smile. You're already off in the staircase laughing when Baekhyun grumbles and pouts cutely protesting.

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