#| unfortunately the more i look at it the more i realize how impractical it would be from them to just show up at Tottenham

[hallasimss]

CAS post coming today if i can get my ass to open SRWE and then cycle through 600 different poses rip. also if i can pry myself away from having SHINee's new album on loop

[thelazyhermits]

Because Idia was insanely cruel to me when I was pulling for his tsum and broomquet cards, I have no other choice but to retaliate by making him suffer through as many embarrassing otome game/shoujo manga-esque tropes/situations as possible, all of which will be underneath the cut 😈

Okay, first off, I wanna say the reason behind Idia's upcoming suffering is none other than Ortho as well as all the other Ignihyde dorm members cause they all wanna support their OTP and think Idia could use some help, considering how he is and the fact that he's got a lot of strong rivals lol

After much deliberation, which entailed the shippers thinking about everything they know from otome games/anime/manga, they all come to the decision that the "forced to be together due to circumstances out of their control" trope is the way to go since Idia never leaves his room, so obviously, they need to bring Yuu to him and keep her there long enough that romantic hijinks can ensue.

They decide to go with the old tried and true handcuffed together trope in particular cause it's a classic and always so effective in fictional settings, and they don't see why that won't be the case in real life as well 😂

Naturally, cause this is Ignihyde we're talking about, they wouldn't use normal, old-fashioned handcuffs. Plus, it would be harder to get Idia to wear something that actually looks like handcuffs for obvious reasons lol

Instead, they make what look like metal bracelets, and the story that Ortho provides to Idia/Yuu is that someone from Ignihyde asked for Ortho's help in making them for one reason or another, so Ortho decided to bring them to Idia/Yuu to get their input.

Because he trusts Ortho so much, Idia doesn't bat an eye when Ortho places the "bracelet" on him, and obviously, neither does Yuu.

That's why they're both very surprised when, within seconds, the bracelets suddenly smash together, and they find themselves unable to separate the bracelets, which are now attached like magnets.

Making full use of all the acting techniques he's learned from Vil, Ortho acts surprised cause these bracelets, according to his fake story, should only be capable of acting as communication devices, accessing the internet, etc.

Soon after, Ortho "comes to the realization" that these must be the bracelets that the roommate of the guy he had been helping was working on which "coincidentally" look near identical to the ones Ortho had been helping with.

As Idia starts complaining about how impractical it is for roommates to be working on projects that look that similar, Yuu asks about the bracelets they're wearing and how to take them off since she quickly realizes she's unable to, much to Idia's dismay.

Ortho explains these bracelets are from an anime the roommate likes that he just wanted to recreate for fun. They're essentially handcuffs that keep people stuck together, although there is a feature that allows whoever is wearing them to be set free for no more than ten minutes so they can use the bathroom, etc.

Unfortunately, said feature can't be used multiple times back-to-back, so Idia can't constantly use it to keep from being close to Yuu, which Ortho knew his brother would do if the option was available lol

Once that time limit is reached, the bracelets will immediately seek each other out, as designed, and once again stick together like magnets.

Unsurprisingly, Idia demands that the guy who created the handcuff bracelets free him and Yuu. Unfortunately for him, while Ortho and creator of the bracelets try to free Idia/Yuu, they are unsuccessful because "for reasons beyond them" the bracelets aren't responding to the release code that their creator set up so he could always remove/disengage them.

Naturally, Idia also tries to remove them himself, but much to his amazement, he's unable to, and that's thanks to Ortho who made sure to Idia-proof the handcuffs ahead of time haha

Once enough time passes with all of Idia's efforts to free himself ending in total failure, Ortho and the bracelets' creator promise that they'll immediately start working on fixing the bracelets, which they thankfully can do remotely so everyone doesn't have to crowd around in Idia's room.

In the meantime, Ortho tells his brother to just be patient and to focus on being a good host to Yuu, whom he apologizes again to for all the trouble.

Idia, of course, is not a fan of the idea of being left alone in his room with Yuu, but sadly, he's unable to stop Ortho who hurries out of the room along with the guy who made the bracelets and Grim, whom Ortho promised to keep an eye on for Yuu as a form of apology for inconveniencing her so much.

As expected, Idia starts panicking cause all he can think about are all the otome games/anime/manga that involve the tried and true handcuffed together trope lol

It doesn't help matters that this happens AFTER Wish Upon a Star so Idia is especially awkward when it comes to these kinds of scenarios that remind him of those otome game dreams that had previously plagued him 😂

Thankfully, Yuu keeps her cool since, while this situation is a little exasperating, she's not all that bothered about having to stay with Idia in his room since it's not like she had any plans for the rest of the day.

She's really only concerned about Idia, whose heart may not be able to survive these current circumstances lol

That's why Yuu does her best to be accommodating/supportive toward Idia since she feels bad for him, and she doesn't want him passing out on her 😂

Yuu tries to get Idia to ignore the handcuff bracelets and just pretend this is like a normal day when she comes over to play video games, which is what she originally came to his room to do on that particular day. She's sure he'll be fine if he gets lost in his games since that'll help him temporarily forget about the real world.

Since Idia is desperate to escape facing reality, he goes along with the idea, but unfortunately for him, it's impossible to forget about his current circumstances due to Yuu's wrist essentially being attached to his and the fact that she has to sit close to him in order for him to use both of his hands when he games.

Regardless of whether Idia plays solo or Yuu plays with him, the positioning is awkward/uncomfortable cause of their wrists, although Idia is more bothered by the fact that Yuu is close enough that he can feel her warmth.

His heart starts pounding so hard that that's all he can focus on, and he can't stop freaking out about the possibility of Yuu being able to hear it 'cause how can she not when it's being so loud?!

Even though Idia keeps all his suffering thoughts to himself, Yuu can tell just from looking at his red face/pink hair that he's unable to escape reality with his video games, and she assumes it's because of their wrists being attached, which really is impossible to ignore.

That's why Yuu next suggests reading manga because their handcuffed wrists won't really get in the way since they're both capable of reading using one hand/their laps.

And they can do it with their backs facing each other, which she assumes would be preferable to Idia who likely wants to avoid looking at her in his current flustered state.

Idia quickly goes along with that suggestion since anything is better than his current predicament.

To a degree, it is since now Idia can avoid having to look at Yuu. However, he's still stuck being close enough to her that he can feel her body heat, even though Yuu made sure to avoid pressing her back against his for his sake.

Rather than focus on the manga he picked out for himself to read, all Idia can think about is how close he is to Yuu and how, at any moment, something unexpected could happen that results in their backs becoming pressed together, making them resemble lovers from otome games/shoujo manga who end up in scenarios where they each have their own work/tasks they need to do but still want to somehow be in physical contact with each other so they can simultaneously enjoy each other's company.

Countless scenarios of this nature run through Idia's mind, and he just continues spiraling when his traitorous mind makes him wonder what will happen if he's still handcuffed to Yuu when nighttime rolls around.

Surely, he won't be able to survive.

Without thinking, as he starts internally screaming upon thinking of the agonizing embarrassment that's ahead of him if Ortho doesn't save him soon, Idia moves to clutch his head, completely forgetting about what's currently attached to his left wrist.

Caught off guard cause it happens so fast, Yuu gets jerked toward Idia, and they collide, causing them both to fall over.

And that's how Idia, to his great dismay, finds himself lying on the floor with Yuu on top of him.

Needless to say, everyone in the entire dorm heard the high pitched shriek that Idia released during that moment.

(Meanwhile, Ortho and all the Yuu/Idia shippers are cheering cause the bracelets just alerted them of the drastic increase of Idia's heartrate which they automatically assumes means romantic hijinks are currently ensuing 🤣

Fortunately for Idia, the members of his dorm refrained from tapping the bracelets, so they're not spying on Idia/Yuu like they're fully capable of doing cause they wanna respect Idia/Yuu's privacy, and Ortho didn't think they should go that far.

So instead they're just making assumptions of what's going on based on Idia and Yuu's pulses, which the bracelets are able to clearly monitor, and because Ortho knows his brother so well, he can accurately make guesses about whether or not something potentially romantic is happening haha

In regards to Grim, he's been stationed in a room filled with snacks, video games, and movies, so he's just chilling, living his best life, completely oblivious to what the Ignihyde dorm is up to lol)

Miraculously, Idia manages to avoid passing out, but since the possibility of that happening is still there, Yuu quickly climbs off of him and tries to get Idia to calm down so he won't hyperventilate.

Thankfully, Yuu eventually manages to get Idia to calm down, although he refuses to look directly at her, and she wisely refrains from asking him what happened earlier when he was freaking out which caused them to collide since she doesn't want to take any chances of saying anything that will make him freak out again.

Instead, Yuu tries to distract Idia from his internal suffering by suggesting they watch some anime since that's something they can do while handcuffed, and she's hoping this will help him focus on anything other than the current situation at hand.

Since he has some new episodes that he has yet to watch that he's been meaning to check out, Idia goes along with her idea because surely watching some of his beloved anime will save him from this hell.

Fortunately, for a while, Idia is actually given a respite. While he's still overly conscious of Yuu being so close to him, he's able to mostly keep his focus on the anime they're watching.

Regrettably, everything goes downhill when an unexpected kiss scene happens in one of the episodes they watch.

Normally, Idia can watch those without batting an eye since fictional displays of affection don't bother him, but that's not the case this time cause the kiss scene happens after the main character and his crush end up locked in a room together for an extended period of time, which results in previously hidden feelings coming to light.

Seeing this, all Idia can hink about is how he too is currently stuck alone in a room with a cute girl, not to mention the fact that she's handcuffed to him, which makes things all the worse.

Needless to say, Idia is soon back to internally screaming about how unfair life is to him lol 😂

Yuu naturally picks up on Idia's embarrassment thanks to his scarlet face and bright pink hair and quickly figures out what's got him so flustered this time.

She kindly refrains from saying anything and releases an internal sigh of relief when the anime characters stop kissing and finally get out of the locked room since Idia somewhat settles down after that, although he's still incredibly flustered.

Despite that little incident, the two continue watching anime since it helps to distract Idia and makes it so he doesn't have to talk to Yuu lol

The rest of the afternoon passes like this, with the two watching anime and also playing board games, the latter of which was Yuu's idea since that's something that can also be done while they're handcuffed together and she thought Idia would get distracted if he got the opportunity to beat her like he so often does.

Unfortunately, Idia couldn't enjoy the board games as much as he usually would cause his traitorous mind decided to point out just how considerate Yuu has been of him all this time since she keeps making all these suggestions to accommodate him and never questions his embarrassing reactions. She just rolls with whatever he throws at her.

Idia can't stop himself from getting the "doki doki"s cause of the current circumstances they're in that make him hyper aware of stuff like that, which he'd normally not think too much about for the sake of his sanity lol

He can't stop himself from thinking that Yuu would truly make for a great otome game heroine since, despite her being a scary delinquent tomboy, she's very kind/considerate toward the people she cares about. She's definitely someone who can trigger other people's romantic flags, especially with her ridiculously OP charisma stat.

In hopes of bringing himself back to reality, Idia quickly assures himself that there's no way anyone would ever wanna go for the route of a gloomy otaku shut-in like him. Yuu has sent him a friend request, but that's as far as this relationship is going.

Despite this, Idia still gets flustered whenever Yuu smiles after making a good play in whatever game they're playing, and his heart won't stop pounding like a drum whenever her kind/soft gaze focuses on him.

At this point, Idia really wants someone to just come and put him out of his misery 😂

Unfortunately for Idia, his suffering is far from over since, when evening comes, Ortho and the others are still unable to disengage the bracelets, and they don't think they'll be able to free Yuu & Idia before morning, meaning Yuu has no other choice but to spend the night in Idia's room, much to Idia's great dismay.

In regards to dinner, Ortho prepares it for Yuu & Idia since Yuu obviously can't cook while attached to Idia, especially since Idia refuses to leave his room.

As a form of apology for all the trouble that their dorm caused her, Ortho makes a dish he knows Yuu really likes, but he especially focuses on dessert by making several since he knows how much Yuu loves sweets.

While this is a good thing for Yuu, who's obviously touched by the sweet gesture, the same can't be said for Idia who spends the majority of dinner internally screaming cause he can't stop thinking that the faces Yuu makes when she's happily eating sweets are really cute.

Up until this point, Idia never gave much thought to the faces Yuu makes when she's happy, but under his current circumstances, his traitorous brain can't stop itself from pointing stuff like this out.

It doesn't help that they have to eat side-by-side, and their arms end up constantly brushing against each other. That's why Idia is unable to ignore Yuu and her cute expressions despite how much he desperately wants to.

Idia is suffering™ 🤣

(This was all a part of Ortho's grandmaster plan. While he did want to do something nice for Yuu, he mostly just wanted to give her food that would result in her making lots of cute faces. According to the data he has on her, some of the cutest expressions of Yuu's that he has on file are the ones when she's eating sweets, and he was counting on his brother taking notice of that and getting charmed by her cuteness as a result 😂)

Fortunately for Idia, although Yuu is very much aware of his scarlet face and flaming pink hair, she never brings attention to his embarrassment, which she assumes is because their arms keep brushing against each other.

When dinner finally ends, Idia is internally begging for a miracle - to be saved from this torture.

Regrettably, that salvation doesn't come. On the contrary, his suffering only increases thanks to Ortho who, after dinner, returns to Idia's room after having kindly made a trip to Ramshackle along with Grim to fetch a change of clothes for Yuu.

Ortho's "kindness" comes back to bite his brother cause, after Yuu takes the shortest shower of her life, she hurriedly returns to Idia's side, wearing a tank top and shorts, resulting in Idia getting a clear view of her muscular figure and her chest, the latter of which's size is bigger than people first assume cause of the kinds of clothes Yuu typically wears lol

Cue Idia shrieking like he's being chased by a horror movie serial killer 🤣

Having expected this sort of reaction, Yuu, who really has no control over this since Ortho had Grim collect the clothes she had previously been wearing while she was showering, apologizes and explains this is the only change of clothes that Ortho provided her, and she can only assume it's cause he had Grim go into their shared room to collect your clothes and Grim just grabbed whatever without giving his clothing choices much thought.

What makes it even worse for Idia is the fact that Yuu's hair is still wet since she couldn't afford to take the time to dry it.

Panicking, Idia hurriedly finds one of his baggy hoodies and some sweatpants and forces Yuu to wear them cause he won't survive otherwise.

He soon regrets that decision, however, when he sees how adorable Yuu looks when wearing his clothes that are obviously big on her cause of their height difference and the fact that I HC that Idia prefers baggy clothes.

(This is also all according to Ortho's grandmaster plan. He knew Idia would react like this, and he wanted this to happen cause what's more romantic than the heroine wearing her love interest's clothes?)

Unfortunately, there's really nothing Idia can do since he can't get ahold of Ortho to get him to find new clothes for Yuu, and he refuses to leave his room while handcuffed to her.

As a result, Yuu ends up wearing Idia's clothes for the remainder of the evening, and they'll also be her pajamas for the night.

Once she has put on Idia's clothes, Yuu uses the towel she brought into the room to towel-dry her hair which she didn't have enough time to dry in Idia's bathroom.

This is a slow-going process since Yuu is only using one hand for Idia's sake, and it's agonizing for Idia cause her dripping wet hair is making his heart pound like crazy, and he has no idea why. Why is he getting so flustered over something like this?! 😂

That's why Idia eventually snatches Yuu's towel and dries her hair himself with both of his hands since the sooner her hair gets dried the better, although doing so is murder on his pounding heart cause all he can think about are all the couple scenes from the anime/manga/otome games he's seen that have lovers drying each other's hair.

(This is also what Ortho was going for. It's why he sneakily made sure there were no hair dryers available for them to use 🤣)

Thanks to Idia being so desperate to end his suffering as quickly as possible, he's able to dry Yuu's hair pretty quickly, and she thanks him for his help, all the while giving him a pitying look cause of how flustered he looks lol

Because he really doesn't want to go through the embarrassment of Yuu offering to dry his hair, Idia decides not to take a shower that night.

Plus, Idia isn't confident about getting in and out of the bathroom in under ten minutes cause anything can go wrong when he's panicked/flustered, and Idia would rather die than risk Yuu seeing him fresh out of the shower 😂

Once Idia has made it clear that he'll save showering for after the bracelets are removed, the topic of sleeping comes up cause of how late it is.

Because the only way the two of them can sleep thanks to the bracelets is by sharing a bed, Idia is naturally against the idea of sleeping and instead insists on binging anime all night since sharing a bed with Yuu will surely kill him lol

Unfortunately for Idia, this is the one time when Yuu doesn't try to accommodate him since she doesn't approve of him pulling all-nighters cause it's not good for his health. Plus, she can tell he didn't get much sleep the previous night, no doubt because he stayed up late gaming, so she is determined to get Idia to sleep tonight, much to his dismay.

In hopes of making the situation easier for Idia to handle, Yuu suggests making a pillow barrier between them. That way, they won't ever get too close.

Thankfully, Idia's bed is a decent sized one, so they can both comfortably fit on it even with the pillow barrier.

Idia does his best to resist at first, but in the end, he gives in since he knows he's no match for Yuu when it comes to matters like this. Plus, she has been extremely accommodating the whole day, and he can't blame her for not wanting to stay up the whole night.

That's how they eventually find themselves on Idia's bed with countless pillows in between them since Idia wanted to make the biggest possible barrier lol

As expected, despite the pillow barrier, Idia can't bring himself to relax because of these current extremely embarrassing circumstances, so he's expecting to stay up the whole night, staring at the ceiling while bemoaning how cruel life is to him 😂

Much to Idia's surprise, he's eventually pulled away from his internal suffering when Yuu's hand, the one that's attached to his and is currently buried underneath the pillow barrier, takes hold of his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Half-asleep at this point cause of the late hour, Yuu, who's able to pick up on Idia's distress, sleepily tries to calm him down by assuring him that everything will be fine. Nothing will happen tonight, and Ortho will save the day tomorrow.

As she's talking, Yuu softly strokes Idia's clammy hand with her thumb in a calming motion in hopes of helping him relax. She also starts quietly humming the kind of soft, soothing tune you'd hear playing during lullabies.

Unsurprisingly, Idia gets flustered by the hand-holding, but at the same time, strangely enough, he somehow does begin to calm down for some reason, most likely cause of Yuu's humming since he ends up focusing on that more than the fact that she's holding his hand.

Because Yuu is self-conscious about her singing, Idia has never heard her sing before, and humming is also rather rare, although she has been doing that more as of late, so he can't help but be entranced, especially since it's such a lovely sound.

Of course, his heart still skips a beat when he realizes that Yuu is moving out of her comfort zone for his sake, making him think another of his flags just got triggered lol

Eventually, thanks to Yuu's efforts, they both end up falling asleep, hand-in-hand, and are able to remain in a deep sleep throughout the rest of the night.

This ends up being a bad thing for Idia, however, cause, once his little brother is sure the coast is clear, Ortho sneaks into the room so he can check on how Idia is doing.

After quietly cheering about how well things appear to be going, Ortho decides to remove the pillow barrier since that'll obviously only be in the way of possible future romantic scenarios 😂

Once that's done, Ortho quietly wishes them both a good night and retires to his room where Grim is fast asleep.

Because of Ortho's actions, Yuu is understandably caught off guard when her internal alarm clock wakes her up and she finds herself being hugged by a sleeping Idia who's now treating her like his favorite body pillow.

Not having expected Idia to be a secret cuddler, Yuu is surprised by how tightly he's hugging her and how he's even got his face buried against her neck. Their legs are even entangled - to the point she knows there's no way she'll be moving anytime soon, not without risking waking Idia.

Fortunately, Yuu isn't bothered by this turn of events since she likes cuddling with her friends, and she honestly thinks it's pretty cute that Idia, of all people, is a secret cuddler.

(This is my HC since Idia probably is touch-starved to a certain extent considering how he isolates himself and has been doing that for most of his life, although he does have a warm, affectionate family which is why he's not as bad off as Yuu.

Plus, I could see him being the type who seeks out the closest heat source when he sleeps since I feel like he has a naturally low body temperature despite having fire hair lol)

Thankfully, Yuu already contacted Jack in advance to let him know she'd be missing their usual morning run since she knew getting Idia involved in that was out of the question.

As a result, Yuu has nowhere she needs to be, so while Idia continues to sleep, she just passes the time by playing with his hair which is all over the place thanks to all the moving Idia did while he was sleeping.

Regrettably, this peaceful atmosphere doesn't last forever since Idia has to wake up sometime, and when he finally does, he makes it very loud and clear that he's awake lol

With a piercing shriek that makes Yuu wince cause of their close proximity, Idia pulls away from her and tries to put as much distance between them as possible.

That, of course, ends in his total failure thanks to the bracelets that force Yuu to move along with Idia, so as a result, she ends up falling onto Idia, eliciting even more screams from him 🤣

For the sake of her poor eardrums, Yuu quickly covers Idia's mouth and tells him to stop screaming. Otherwise, she won't remove her hand from his mouth, and she won't try to give him some space.

Since that's obviously the last thing Idia wants, he quickly settles down, and once she's sure she won't have to worry about any more screaming, Yuu finally uncovers his mouth and pulls away from him.

After that exchange, Idia asks what happened to the pillow barrier, and Yuu tells him that, since the pillows are scattered around them and she never left her side of the bed, she can only assume Idia demolished the barrier while he was moving in his sleep.

Naturally, Idia refuses to believe he would ever do such a thing, even while asleep, but regrettably, he's unable to think of another plausible explanation since it's true he was the one who was tightly clinging onto Yuu earlier rather than the other way around, and he was on her side of the bed when he woke up.

Idia is absolutely mortified. He just wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Please just put him out of his misery 😂

Feeling bad for him, Yuu assures Idia that she won't tell anyone about what happened and she won't tease him about it either. She also assures him that she wasn't bothered by his actions since she likes cuddling with her friends, and she knows Idia had no impure intentions cause he was asleep.

This really doesn't make Idia feel much better since he's too deep into his mortification by this point. He can't even really hear her cause he's breathing so hard/loudly, on the verge of passing out cause it's all too much for him at this point.

Upon realizing this, Yuu quickly but gently takes hold of Idia's face, forcing him to look her in the eye.

While maintaining that eye contact, Yuu gently instructs him to match her breathing - to think of nothing but breathing.

Idia weakly resists at first, but eventually, he follows her instructions cause the worry in her eyes is so obvious and he doesn't like that he's the reason that worry is there.

Plus, Yuu uses the word "please" when she asks him to match her breathing, which further shows how concerned she is about him since she's pleading with him to listen to her.

Despite everything she has unintentionally put him through these last 12+ hours, Idia can't bring himself to take things out on her, like he probably would if it was anyone else he was stuck with.

He can't intentionally do something that will make her sad.

As a result, Idia's breathing eventually calms down thanks to Yuu's efforts, and it's only once he completely settles down that Yuu finally releases his face.

Once Idia finally calms down, Yuu gently brushes away his hair from his face, making him blush, all the while holding his gaze. She tells him that he can trust her - that she won't ever purposely do anything to hurt him, so recent events won't change anything.

Once this is all over, Yuu won't bring up recent events again unless Idia wants to. She won't tease him or try to have fun at his expense, because she cares about him and always wants him to be comfortable in her presence. She would never purposely do anything to ruin that, especially not after what happened following the Ghost Bride incident.

So Idia doesn't need to worry so much. She can understand how his negative mind always makes him assume the worst, but this one time she wants him to trust her more than those negative thoughts. She wants him to believe she's not like the kind of person who would hurt him for her own amusement.

The whole time she's talking, Idia just stares at her with wide eyes as his heart once again starts rapidly pounding.

Strangely enough, despite how hard his heart's pounding, Idia doesn't feel panicked like he did all the other times this happened.

On the contrary, Idia feels the calmest he's felt since this whole bracelet handcuff nightmare began.

Catching Yuu off guard, Idia suddenly starts laughing, as if he heard the best joke ever.

For several seconds, all he can do is laugh before Idia says it's just like a shounen protag to say something so cheesy/sappy. He can't believe she can say something so embarrassing with a straight face like that.

Before Yuu can complain, although she is happy to see Idia acting more like his usual self, Idia tousles her hair and says, with a grin, that he's completely forgotten what he had been so bothered about cause of Yuu's typical cringe.

After he thanks her, using his typical mocking tone, making Yuu pout, Idia just continues to laugh and ruffle her hair.

One of the main reasons he laughs so much is cause Idia hopes the sound of voice will drown out the sound of his still heavily pounding heart, and he hopes that by mocking her like this his hair won't give away the fact that Yuu's words actually made him really happy and assuaged his worries just as she had intended.

Around that time, Ortho arrives on the scene, and because things are looking so good between Idia and Yuu, he finally releases them from the bracelets, with the claim that they finally fixed the bug that was making them malfunction.

With a cheer, Idia leaps out of his bed and heads for his gaming console, so he can resume the gaming he had to put on hold, all the while enjoying his newfound freedom.

Much to Yuu's surprise, Idia tells her to hurry and grab a controller so they can do some dungeon crawling together. This catches her off guard since she would've thought that he'd want her to scram so he can have some much needed alone time.

Once she overcomes her surprise, Yuu moves to join him, all the while feeling happy about the fact that it seems her previous words really did reach Idia since he seems genuinely comfortable around her despite recent events.

All the while, Ortho gives himself a pat on the back for his excellent matchmaking. Obviously, his recent scheme was a total success, so now, he's even more enthusiastic about matchmaking! He's gonna do his best for his big brother and make sure Idia's the one who gets that Best Love End!

Idia, of course, won't be nearly as enthusiastic 😂

[fractualized]

Today in TMWSL #10, we get half our answer and also Joker in a skirt again! Look how happy he is.

Spoilers and violence, yadda yadda…

We open with Black Mask interrogating a police officer about what the Commissioner did with his men, but it quickly becomes clear something is wrong!

Joker (our favorite Sewer Rat one) comes over the speaker in Roman's office (?) in the fashion of a flight crew, as Roman manages to get a gas mask.

And our boy makes his entrance as grandly as always.

With the henchmen dispatched, Joker starts to tell Roman about his complaints.

And here's where I bring up Gotham War, and how I guess this is happening at the beginning of Bruce's 2-month unconsciousness after Knight Terrors, right as Selina is starting to steal all the henchmen and train them to be Good Nonviolent Thieves. Because here it's alleged that all the Gotham bosses are still doing fine getting their underlings and it's just Joker who isn't. I have to assume that because otherwise the inconsistency would be another reason to dunk on Gotham War and who would do that!

Anyway, we cut to Wesker who is collecting clues from the men Joker did manage to round up about where the other Joker came from.

C'mon, Scarface! They're probably doing their best! Besides, you've got other things to worry about. 

Jason, noooooooooo! He's just a lil murderous conniving puppet! He can reform! He can do a YouTube series about mob history!

As for Joker, we know where he is. I mean, one of them.

It looks like, for some reason, Joker is giving this cop Lazarus resin, assuming @clownprince's theory about where Joker #2 came from is where all this is going. Though it doesn't explain why Joker is reviving this cop. Not yet….

Also lookit them heels!

Anyway, Joker is looking for clues about his doppelganger with Roman personally, which implies he has a strong feeling Roman of all people has key info?

Oh right, Joker doesn't know the other guy is back in town. But unfortunately Joker #2 knows his twin has wrangled up some friends and is having his own friends, er, de-wrangle them.

In a way, they're just making room for Mr. Waffles' defection!

At least Joker gets to feel himself in this outfit before he figures out his scrappy crew is already being dispatched.

Look, I don't know what Wesker is alleged to be up to but I don't think Joker has a leg to stand on calling him a pervert.

Anyway, Jason brings down Joker's mood. 🙁

Ooh, I love when Di Giandomenico gets him all dark like that.

Joker does manage to get in touch with Shocky back at the warehouse and tells him to get everyone back there.

SHOCKY ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. … Also who are you and how did you of all people manage to find out??

Sadly AND PREDICTABLY, we cut to the warehouse and Shocky has also been attacked by persons unknown. Jason, Steph, and Ravager are already on the scene. And then Manhunter shows up and nobody has any chill so they all get into a fight. Steph manages to calm everything down.

They compare notes and realize they're tracking the activities of two different Jokers. More importantly, they realize Shocky is alive! And we see Joker watching from the rafters.

At first I wondered if Joker didn't like what Shocky told him and tried to kill him, but nah, it looks like the warehouse got hit by Joker #2's crew. And I think they took Fake Jackanapes because he's nowhere to be seen, but per #12's cover he does appear to be back with Joker. Hmmm...

All four heroes are conspicuously absent when Shocky gets taken to the hospital, but Joker hitches a ride on the roof of the ambulance. From flight attendant mode to gremlin mode!

In a completely impractical way of figuring out what Shocky knows, Joker decides to interrupt his surgery in a new costume. I'm not sure if he had time to change into the cops' clothes outside or if he was wearing the first cop's uniform under his Sewer Rat outfit. I am sure that Mimi does not care!

Joker shoots the doctor because he has not learned any lessons about why he has no friends, and gets to the big question.

GODDAMMIT, SHOCKY– but actually I think the trope here is clear. Shocky did answer Joker's question in one word. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN but that's confirmed shortly, after this hilarious page:

It's Albert, the Knight Terrors son! Reading a Wonder Woman comic. It doesn't look like he took Joker's suggestion to ask for better toys to heart. 

Inexplicably, Joker stops in the middle of everything to steal the kid's drugs.

The implication may be that Shocky's words have jogged something in Joker's memory, and he's trying to ease the rest of it out. And that certainly seems to be happening, because we abruptly jump into the surreal "backer," which has a stronger tie to the main story than the others.

Joker is poisoning civilians when it turns out something's wrong with a henchman's mask.

Joker takes this opportunity to create his twin himself (dun dun DUNNNN) with the assistance of Professor Pyg.

Pyg successfully transforms the henchman into a Joker look-alike, and the fun begins, with Joker using his double to seem like he can be in two places at once, and to explain sudden changes of heart or ability. And all that goes fine until:

Original Joker does not appreciate anyone killing his men but him! (For once.) He confronts his creation when he's sitting on a park bench feeding critters. (A Joker enjoying himself at night on a bench? If only a bat doppelganger was there to join him.)

And we end on panels very reminiscent of what happened back in TMWSL #1.

Is this dunking on Three Jokers? I'm choosing to take it that way (even though TMWSL itself could still go the same direction).

Unlike other issues, we return to the main story for a page.

I had to include both these panels because 1) I enjoy the clown balloon exploding perfectly positioned in the cop's face and 2) like the last time Joker was in the hospital, he's reading a comic and replacing the story that's in there with something in his head.

But here it is! Half the mystery solved: Joker himself made his doppelganger! Which raises questions like "why?" and "how?" and "when?" but look there's only another couple issues to go.

And we can keep speculating in the meantime. Again I point to clownprince's theory linked above that some clone or plastic-surgeried reanimated corpse was mindwiped into thinking he's Joker. If that holds true, which it seems like it will because the Lazarus resin came up again, now we have Joker saying that he is the person who did it. Of course, if we go by how it went in the backer, then it's Sewer Rat Joker who is the fake, but since the backers are surreal and strange, the story Joker "read" in the comic may just be inspired by the actual goings-on and he really is the original as he says. It's also possible that we'll find both Joker's are so mixed up that they simply can't agree on who the original is, and we never get confirmation.

Regardless, we can further extrapolate that after seeing the clones at the end of Joker 2021, even though Joker was pissed about that, he may have been inspired too. It wouldn't be the first time that he thought a joke was only funny if he was the one who told it. So after he left Texas, he came across the mindwipe tech Bloom used in Task Force Z, and decided to give it a try? Except the person he brainwashed would be as vain as him and want to be the one-and-only Clown Prince of Crime, and it would never occur to him that he's the copy.

I'm hoping that's what it is, and not that the double was created earlier and it really is like Three Jokers where there's been more than one Joker tHe WhOle TiMe. I mean, Joker's last line could be taken to mean, "I was the one behind our best shenanigans and am responsible for our fearsome reputation." At least it's definitely not some multiverse shit as implied by that Batman #135 page.

We've got a couple issues left to get more answers. My understanding is that TMWSL stops at #12, which is a bummer. I've had a great time reading it, which only makes me grumble more about what's going on in Batman and Gotham War. "I Am A Gun" was delightful, but ever since Batman's storyline hit the alternate universe, the writing has gone… not great, IMO. So I'm not sure what Zdarsky is gonna do with Joker for the reunion. :|

[just-puddding]

@kakashiweek day 2, Puzzle

"How (not) to cope"

It is an unfortunate turn of events, the ones that leads Kakashi to being here instead of on a mission somewhere deep in earth-country or something else of the kind.

Of course, he can't blame mouse for getting fatally wounded, but having to call the mission back earlier than planned and going to the hospital on top of that is what had put Kakashi exactly where he didn't want to be– a yamanaka's line of sight.

And so, Kakashi failed to evade his yearly psych evaluation for the first time in eight years.

It wasn't as bad as he had expected, but it wasn't great either, at the end of their very awkward session Yamanaka had recommended that Kakashi try to get into something that would estimulate his cognitive ability as a distraction from his other coping mechanisms– as he had been adamant that the ones he had weren't healthy

Kakashi doesn't see it, as he enters the small shop he had been recommended, a Rubik's cube might give him something to do with his hands but it won't wash the blood away, it won't make home feel like home and it certainly won't pacify his ghosts.

But it was doctor's orders, so here he is.

Kakashi eyes the puzzle boxes standing tall on the little stands, jigsaws meant to be mounted into beautiful ornate paintings. Well, at least it would be something to place on his wall, the last time Asuma and Kurenai had come over– sent to find him when Kakashi had gotten in a particularly bad self-isolation season– they had remarked that his apartment was about as personal as a prison cell.

He picks a 1000 piece puzzle with a picture of jasmine flowers and places it under his arm, just about ready to leave, try this for a single day and then go back to his normal coping, when something catches his eyes.

A little wooden dog, it looked odd, as if put together with something more than a shelf decoration in mind, Kakashi picks it up

He turns the dog around in his hand, noticing the small hidden compartment in its belly, but it doesn't budge when he tries to pull at the creases, it seems to need some type of tool to open

"It's a hidden puzzle" a sales attendant calls from behind him "look" she picks the little dog up, Kakashi watches as she feels around the dog's ear and rolls a wheel that brings it's tongue out of it's mouth, Kakashi notices a little crevice of a hidden compartment

"Go on" she urges. Kakashi compliantly pulls open the dog's tongue and takes out a little key, with sudden interest he uses it to open the belly. it's empty, but it does have space to put something small inside, like a ring box or a notepad

This is… well, it is very impractical and not particularly safe to keep anything of value on, yet Kakashi finds himself drawn to it.

The dog is very cute and it all just seems… fun

"It's a karakuri puzzle, this one was very simple but we have a few more complicated ones, if you would like to look around"

"Gai" he hears a voice call out to him beyond the world of dreams, Gai opens his eyes, is it perhaps already five in the morning, time for his daily jogging routine!?

What he sees, rather than the beaming sunlight coaxing him gently out of sleep, is Kakashi's silhouetted frame, barely discernible in the dark of the night "did you know there are Shinobi Karakuri puzzles?"

"What wonderful news, my rival!" Gai calls out, quickly trying to shake off his slight morning daze– his youthful spirit shall not be bested by Kakashi's, even though it can't be more than two in the morning at the moment!

His rival scoots closer, straddling Gai's chest "most of them just need small pumps of Nature chakra but there are more complicated ones, a few even need fuuinjutsu to activate, they were popular in Uzushio, or so I am told" he continues speaking, this detail would be missed by most but there is deep excitement in his tone

Too bad that Gai is slowly coming to realize that he has no idea what Kakashi is talking about "I don't think I follow, dear" he says, wanting further information so he can properly support Kakashi's latest endeavors.

His rival picks something out of his pocket, it seems to be a small box, but Gai has trouble making out what the details in the low light. Kakashi takes Gai's hands and shoves the box inside, allowing him to pry at it "Karakuri puzzles" he says, tapping the wooden box "they are usually enjoyed by civilians but some Shinobi Craftsmen have also taken to making their own versions of them, they are puzzles with hidden compartments"

Gai turns around the box in his hand, he can feel multiple crevices and bumps, but none of them seem to give to his prodding "that is wonderful, my rival! Have you solved this one yet?" He questions as he hands the little paraphernalia back to Kakashi

"I have. I got it in water during my last mission, solved it on the way here" Gai can only see Kakashi's hands move around the box without discerning his movements, besides for when he creates a small chakra line and uses it to pull eight cabinets open at once

Once he is done, Kakashi immediately closes the box once again and places it back in his hands "here, you can keep it" he says "i placed a gift inside, see if you can open it. I have to leave now..."

Gai doesn't get the chance to ask Kakashi for further explanation as with the utmost vigor Kakashi hops off of the bed and to Gai's open window "sorry for the blood in your bedsheets, by the way" and then he is gone

Gai blinks, then grins widely "THANK YOU, RIVAL!" he yells after the man. Gai shall take this challenge with the utmost seriousness!

"RIVAL! it is a most youthful day, we shall go out to celebrate the sunny starts of summer with our dearest friends and–" Gai pauses after opening the door, finding Kakashi hunched over on the floor.

It seem his rival is working on something that is in front of him, illuminated by the window's light "maa hello there, Gai" Kakashi calls out, not even bothering to look up to meet Gai's gaze

Gai looks around the room, there are little trinkets spread everywhere, jigsaw puzzles hanging on the wall, intricate boxes on the shelf, little things that look like kid's games on the bedframe. This place is rather different than last time Gai had been here two weeks ago, there had already been many puzzles but not quite this many

It had been a shock, when Gai had visited to tell Kakashi that he had indeed rose to the challenge and cracked his puzzle, as well as say that he appreciated the turtle shell gold amulet his rival had hidden inside, only to see how personalized the place had become

Before, Kakashi's room had been… sterile, is a word for it– though Gai would hesitate to say something so rude! Kakashi had a few books on the shelf, his team picture framed on the bed and a few personal belongings, but the place looked barely lived in

In fact, Kakashi hadn't even bothered to replace the standard decorations that every apartment came with– hadn't done any real changes to the place

But now? Now it looked like a home, rather than a hospital dorm or a poorly decorated hotel room, now it looked like Kakashi

"Look at this place, dear! It seems like you have found a new passion" he beams, flashing his friend a thumbs up– despite the surprise, Gai is glad, truly, that Kakashi seems to finally have found a hobby he enjoys.

"Yes, yes, Sure. Look at this" his rival says, finally turning around to face Gai as he gets up. In his hands is "a wooden replica of the daimyo's palace!?" It is exquisitely done, but it doesn't seem of Kakashi's profile to have something like this

Kakashi comes closer to Gai, who is now shutting the door "it's a puzzle, see the scratch marks here?" he turns the statue over so Gai can see the underside of one of the balconies "it is a cypher, look," Kakashi turns the palace back around, he takes his fingers to the top of the building, with which he twists and pulls it slightly upwards

"See?" Kakashi holds the piece as he starts to turn up the tiles of the roof, each having a little symbol carved under it "I have figured it follows the order of Kana, I believe I have to decipher the writings to get a riddle and then open them in the sequence of the answer" Kakashi tells him

Gai nods along, poking and prodding at the puzzle before Kakashi pulls it away from him, clearly not wanting Gai's help on solving it, Kakashi's pride was just like that– it is part of what made his a worthy rival, his determination to figure things out.

Though some times it is also a problem. Thankfully not now, but some times!

"That seems rather complicated, rival, I am proud of your grand determination! may you have luck solving this puzzle!" Kakashi is already back to semi-ignoring him, working on the cypher instead. He hums a offhanded "thanks Gai…"

Gai smiles a little "next time you see such a well-made challenge you shall get two so I can join you in a youthful competition!"

Gai Pov, it is two A.M and you see this at the end of your bed ↓

[salami-dono]

7/27/23 or 27 July 2023 🌊🦊&⚡🦔

Surge and Kitsunami travel across dimensions, seeking Dr. Jester’s unique guidance about a problem that��s recently been weighing them down. 

A sterile glow from the hallway cast light into the dim scanning room of Dr. Jester’s facility, where two of his henchmen were stationed. Inside the control room on the far side was a desk with several computer monitors. Beyond the glass window to the left of the monitors was the examination room. Dr. Jester sat quietly at the desk, reviewing dozens of images produced by the scanner. He had recommended full-body scans of Surge the Tenrec and Kitsunami the Fennec in order to examine their complex system of cybernetics. The very same cybernetic enhancements developed by the late Dr. Starline.

While he worked, the chaotic duo waited at a table behind him. Surge kicked her feet up while Kit stared at the screens intently. It was a familiar scene for the two cyborgs.

Cybernetics interwoven in the soft tissue... Why? It would've been so much simpler to build androids. Implanting such devices had to have been absurdly complicated, but credit where it's due.

Frankly, the doctor couldn't wrap his mind around the design of these internal supports. It seemed Dr. Starline was just as short-sighted as his idol. Yes, his idol, the Egg Emperor—better known as Dr. Eggman. Once upon a time, Dr. Jester and Eggman, too, worked together as allies. And like Dr. Starline, he longed to have his genius recognized by that man. It took an ambush for him to finally realize that Eggman had no respect for him whatsoever. However, Dr. Jester survived. 

Enough. He steered his mind back to the task at hand. He had a theory that the impracticality of the design was intended, possibly as a tactic to create dependency in the two subjects. It was another way to control them, as he alone had the knowledge to maintain their inferior cybernetic enhancements. Truly diabolical. It was all so amusing.  Once again, he had to praise that platypus.

He glanced at Surge and Kit. The movement alerted the two and they looked at him expectantly. 

"Well? You done?" Surge asked.

She and her companion hopped out of their seats and approached the doctor's chair. He supposed he'd gathered sufficient data. Now it was time to put on a show. Dr. Jester enlarged the scans on the screen and spun his chair around, ready to address them.

"Inside your bodies is an extensive system of cybernetics—"

"Yeah, we know," Surge interrupted, "Could ya maybe skip through the presentation a little, Tin Man?"

Dr. Jester glared at the petulant child, "—I know that you know. Will you let me finish?"

Surge scoffed at him.

"As I was saying, as much as I hate to admit it—it's more complicated than I had anticipated."

Surge and Kit exchanged slightly perturbed glances.

He got up from his chair and walked over to Kit, looking down at him, "Tell me, have you been feeling any pain lately?"

"A-A little. Why?" Kit asked.

"It baffles me how your tiny bodies accepted those cybernetics in the first place," he said, kneeling by Kit. "Unfortunately, there is a problem: your bodies will grow, the implants will not. That discomfort you've been feeling, Kitsunami? You could call it growing pains."

The doctor instructed Kit to remove his glove so he could examine his hand, to which Kit obeyed. Dr. Jester palpated his wrist with his fingers. The boy flinched as the robotic hedgehog felt the metal wiring. Once he finished, he slipped the glove back on.

"Every single piece of these implants will have to be replaced eventually, perhaps sooner for the little one. They were not designed to accommodate growth. You two will have to endure multiple surgeries until adulthood. And, if you survive that long, the cybernetics will still have to be replaced periodically."

His nonchalant tone did not match his worrying statements.

"Well, you're smart, aren't you?" she retorted. "Can't you design new ones? Ones that won't need replacing?"

"Growth-accommodating cybernetic implants do not rule out the need for surgeries; they only lessen them. Alternatively, we could try a single operation. Yes, I could extract the cybernetics entirely and—"

"But, then we'd lose all of our abilities,” Kit voiced his concerns. “What if we don't survive?"

"Yeah," Surge's brows furrowed, "we're not doing that."

"Ha! If you’re concerned about survival, then roboticization will save you from all that pain. Believe me, it's the best, long-term solution. Dr. Starline may have known how to maintain your enhancements and keep you alive, but, hm... He's gone, isn't he?"

That name. Just the mention of it left her shaking. She hated how it cut into her psyche. Surge gritted her teeth and clenched her fists at her sides. No matter what, that man just wouldn't stay dead. Her body and eyes sparked with electricity. Kit took a few steps back and rose into the air using his hydro coils. His eyes glowed red, perhaps as a warning.

"That's the best solution?! You, turning us into one of your machines?! Forget it!"

Surge and Kit moved to the doorway but were blocked by Dr. Jester’s robots, Saturn and Genesis. They took a step back, squaring up for a fight. Dr. Jester chuckled.

"Here's the thing, children: like any creator, Dr. Starline survives through his creations. Yes, through you, he lives on. I'll unmake you and see to it that his legacy—his loathsome existence—is erased! Either I rip that frame out of you, or I fully mechanize you!"

Suddenly, Surge screamed and, in a quick flash, lunged at Dr. Jester. She threw him off balance with an electrically charged punch. He stopped the following swing by grabbing her arm and absorbing some of her power. His teal and magenta quills lit up—the electricity gave him a boost!

"I'm no pushover, you know!" He shouted, slamming her down.

She gasped, "Kit!!"

Kit attacked Dr. Jester with a powerful blast of water. His metal body collided with the multi-monitor setup, shattering some of his fancy monitors in the impact. He tumbled off the desk. Thanks to Kit’s assistance, Surge was able to regain her footing.

"What are you two deadbolts doing?!" the drenched doctor screeched at the robots frozen at the door. "Neutralize them!"

Genesis squawked apologetically. Saturn approached slowly, kicking chairs to the side and flipping the table. Dr. Jester complained about the wanton destruction of his furniture and equipment. Surge and Kit turned to face the approaching robots. 

"Hey, Drippy," she called, "Let's hit ‘em with the classic combo: you submerge 'em, and I'll zap 'em!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Kit then conjured a sphere of water to cage the two mechanical monstrosities, leaving them vulnerable to Surge's subsequent bolt of lightning. It successfully incapacitated the roadrunner but Saturn was able to resist the shock as Dr. Jester did.

The doctor stomped his feet, calling Genesis useless repeatedly. Saturn turned his attention to the boy. He fired a beam from his mouth. It scorched his abdomen and he fell to the floor.

"Hey! Don't you dare ignore me!" Shrouded in electricity, Surge bounced wall to wall, smashing into Saturn each time. Saturn shielded his face with his arms. Once her attack stopped, he forced her back with a single palm thrust. She fell back to check on Kit.

"C'mon, kid! I need you," she said before jumping back into the fight.

Kit clutched his stomach and whimpered. His body screamed at him to return to Surge and support her in the fight. He opted to use his hydro coils to lift himself off the ground. His knees trembled, but he was standing. He'd recover. Go to Surge! Support Surge!

Surge shocked Saturn, and went at him with spinning kicks, but he didn't seem to slow down.

He turned his attention to Dr. Jester. Perhaps he could distract the echidna by targeting him. It worked on Metal Sonic. There was a good chance this robot would protect his master, too. Kit wrapped Dr. Jester's limbs using small bands of water. Saturn's head rotated 180 degrees, followed by the rest of his body, at the sound of Dr. Jester's yelp.

Surge grinned. It was an excellent opportunity. She bumped her sparking knuckles, touched them to Saturn's back and released a massive discharge. He powered off, his body smoking from the voltage. Kit proceeded to swing Dr. Jester around and sent him flying toward Saturn at high speed. They crashed into the wall.

Surge wiped her forehead and gave a wink and a thumbs up to Kit. He sighed in relief, returning to her side. They had won this fight.  Kit cautioned Surge about the two of them lingering for too long, in case something else happened. Surge laughed thunderously, and they headed out.

"You won't last long in your condition," Dr. Jester warned them at the threshold. He was pinned against the wall, tangled in the sleeping Saturn’s limbs. "As machines, you would persist.”

"Oh, shut up! You don't know what's best for us, old man. Sure, these enhancements are a curse, but we're nothing without them. The kid and I will figure it out on our own—like we always have."

Dr. Jester laughed incredulously, "Then, why did you come to me for help?"

They left his question unanswered. Surge made sure to stomp on the bionic roadrunner on the way out. 

Dr. Jester sighed and smiled, caressing Saturn’s arm, “I won’t rest until there’s not a single trace of him left in that world…” 

🏭🌆

Surge and Kit casually exited from a back entrance of Dr. Jester's lab. The struggle against the doctor left them battered, though the damage was only superficial. Surge's clothes were torn, but her body had nearly fully recovered from the fight. Naturally, it was the same for Kit.

"Well, that wasn't the worst thing ever," Surge said as she adjusted her rings.

"Surge? I think... I think he was telling the truth—a-about the cybernetics, I mean."

"Yeah," she huffed, "I've been feeling it, too. Like, a dull pain all around my body, especially around my eyes... Feels like I'm being crushed from the inside."

Kit gasped, "No! W-We have to get you help right away!"

"From where, exactly?" Surge rubbed her forehead. "Hey, your plan from before—what was it?"

"Oh! Uh," he trailed off, "you won't... like it."

She snapped her fingers and demanded he look up and answer her. Tiny sparks flew from her hand.

"We could ask, um... Tails?" he squeaked and covered his face with his ears.

Surge let out a needlessly long groan. Kit apologized profusely. 

"Fine. We'll go with your plan."

"Huh? Really?!"

"Sure, whatever. Not like we got any other options."

Kit smiled tearfully, "Okay!"

"So, where's the nearest warp-thingy?" Surge asked, stretching her body for a run.

"The checkpoint?" Kit scanned the horizon and pointed north. "That way. There's another stage not far from here."

"Perfect! Good on you for being so mindful of your surroundings!" She ruffled his hair.

He giggled.

"Let's go get our second opinion," she said, crouching with her gloved hands touching the pavement. "Try to keep up, Drippy! We're off!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Kit brought his arms closer to his chest and readied his water pack.

Surge disappeared in a flash, electricity crackling in the spot where she had been standing. Kit gleefully took off running—arms outstretched—at an equally impressive speed, propelled by a powerful stream of water. Under the polluted sky, two streaks of light and water disappeared over the barren hills.

[pocketramblr]

StrayGods!Anon here, and first of, Congrats on The Offspring!! ❤❤❤ I wanted to say thank you for answering and that "finding compassion" and "forcing our side to do better" are very much possible in ST:TRM and that the kiddos changing together is very much the point of the Freddie Lives storyline, so I think you may enjoy them. And also, I honestly wasn't gonna ramble about my very specific OCs but honestly that's the best excuse ever to rec a few fics which I think every MHA fan deserves to experience at least once so, yeah, rambling it is. Hope that's ok.

I haven't been keeping up with BHNA in a while so I may be misremembering but I'm pretty sure at one point is mentioned there was a Third World War which, as a plot point, it is a great way to explain how technology may have mostly stagnated but they can still have crazy support tech and can send holograms in acceptance letters. But, last I checked, it wasn't a plot point that got explored and keeping the ST:TRM's take on Aphrodite would allow for that exploration and for just the right context to plop this OC on. Besides, it's a much more interesting (and heartbreaking) version of her than that of PJO and the themes of her storyline are heavy enough to make the seriousness of their situation impossible to ignore. /AKA: If you check nothing else about ST:TRM please let that be "Stray Gods 鈥� The Ritual 鈥� Red Path".

The OC I'm talking about was always meant to be an Aphrodite kid who was very disenchanted with his mother and demi siblings, someone who seemed just as untouchable as All Might from a distance but was just as flawed and vulnerable once you got close (if in different ways), and he was always meant to die. He was inspired by a bunch of different things and while I hadn't considered him for an BNHA AU before but he fits like a glove here. I kinda themed him around The Golden Apple of Discord, which got reflected in his appearance, personality, the sheer amount of plot hooks he could generate, and his last name being linked to an apple variety. He got the name Prospero Fortunato Worcester (aka Lucky) because just around the time his dad realized who the mother was he also realized his boy was gonna need all the luck he could get, and he wasn't wrong. Just like many other Aphrodite kids, this boy had a lot of unwanted attention sent his way and it was what messed him so badly in the end. I sort of envisioned him as having golden brown skin, reddish hair and the kind of eyes that make think of firebenders, but what really made him stand out wasn't his good looks but his charm and hard-earned skills.

Personality-wise I want you to imagine what would happen if a pan version of the very gnc Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel was a deceptively angry couples' therapist who isn't so much interested in helping you solve your problems but in judging/punishing you for not treating your partner as they deserve. He's totally the kind of person who during a quest would have at one point have to make a choice between chucks and stilettos and may've actually chosen the chucks 'cuz practicality... unless someone questioned his ability to *use* stilettos. Then not only he'd have chosen those but he'd make a point of use them as improvised weapons as much as possible regardless of impracticality. If some asshole ever tried taking off a ring before flirting with him he'd flirt back... and then use the distraction to steal said asshole's ring, wallet and maybe even car. After all, even tho he didn't get involved in many quests, he was on the road a lot and would definitely be more *appreciative* of what he gets.

His reason for being always on the road was inspired on a really interesting fic I unfortunately don't remember the name of. The premise of the fic being an investigation of where did the kids of the less easy-to-turn-kid-friendly gods went and what their powers may be. Some of those kids were the children of Eros, and while I have trouble imagining PJO Eros having kids outside his marriage I can easily see it coming from ST:TRM Eros, whose wife doesn't seem to be in the picture anymore. The power/curse of these kids was in their allure and I couldn't stop worrying about the kind of mundane monsters some defenseless kids who don't understand their heritage could attract outside the safety of the camps. Considering satyrs are the children of the god of Lust, Mischief, and Wild Things, they may not have been the best match to ferry those kids to safety... and that's were Lucky comes in. His life was basically those first 4 seasons of spn that were a constant road-trip of killing monsters to save people.

As for why he had sucha distinct role, well... that's tragic backstory territory. Baby Lucky was a charming little boy born as the oldest kid and only boy from a loving family so mixed they lost track of ancestry and a very MLK reverend who made sure to pass down the right values onto his children. Y'know, someone who was very much about equality and social justice but with a dash of God Is Love And Love Is Life that would have appealed even to ST:TRM Aphrodite despite the different religious background. The only reason they were ok with letting him start camp young was because they hoped it would give him the best chance at safety; they were wrong. He never quite fit with his Aphrodite siblings, only partly because that whole "completing" someone that Piper stuck them with reeked of codependency instead of anything his family taught him about love. But other than that he had no problems making friends *without* Charmspeak. Yes, he did have it but consent was a thing he cared about too so he only used it when absolutely necessary. And he was so talented and eager to learn that he got skilled fast; maybe too fast, who knows how his life would've gone if he hadn't gone on a quest so soon.

Regardless, on his very first quest this Angel Dust met his Valentino. A very magically powerful being took a liking to our lovely Lucky boy and did *not* took rejection well. They cursed him with a suitably heroic fate whereupon everyone he loves would be fated to die, except themselves of course. Now that would be a terrible fate for everyone but for a kid from the Godess of Love... yeah, our boy was wrecked. And of course the camp couldn't turn its back on him, especially since it was obvious to everybody that Aphrodite could have lifted the curse if she bothered so, evidently he was on his own to fix things. Therefore he pretty much cut ties with basically everybody, including his mortal family, and dedicated himself to finding a way to reversing the curse or, failing that, to perma-kill the bastard who cast it. In order to do so he got closer to the Hecate kids while still keeping his self-imposed distance as best as possible. It helped than one of his best friends from before then was a very respected Hecate kid that was as understanding as possible of his situation and wanted to see him go back to his old self. And he was granted his new role as a way to help him train and research while keeping himself and others safe as much as possible since life on the road shouldn't allow for many deep interpersonal connections.

A more self-imposed social distancing attempt was his habit of calling people just by nicknames and having them call him by his own; no learning of names. Although perhaps the fact that everyone but his godly siblings got a personalized nickname defeated the purpose of that. As for the other children of Aphrodite they all just got called Dove; which was cute enough so long as you didn't know he called *actual* doves winged rats. Or that he would unfailingly take hairspray and lighter to any suspiciously gathered flock of the things for being enemy birds. He resented his mother treatment of him and the general parental neglect from Gods but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. So he dove right into magic and used it to take that old God Is Love And Love Is Life to the extreme of being able to use his godly powers to either heal, inflict seemingly unending emotional torment on monster and human alike, or even siphon the life-force from anything living through direct contact and use it to empower/heal himself and add it to the strength of his attacks. And he complemented this already OP arsenal with any and all magical trinkets he could carry, plus amazing fighting/weapon skills of his own. Maybe he was trying to distance himself from her mother's perceived legacy but if anything he was the son to most closely resemble her, at least in her Aphrodite Areia and Venus Genetrix aspects. She may've been proud... had she bothered to be part of his life.

Despite this he was never assigned nor invited to any quests after that first one (and would likely have declined any invites anyways) since quests are bound to forge strong bonds between people. That is until a new prophecy demanded it and kinda hinted he'd face the bastard who cursed him then. The way I envisioned his plotline he'd join the MC in their quest and have plenty of chances to show off his badassery and protectiveness in indispensable ways, right alongside his charm and self-destructiveness. Needless to say it wouldn't have taken him long to touch everyone's hearts despite his best efforts. And at some point the confrontation with his Valentino came to pass but no one managed to catch more than the tail end of it where a conversation seemed to have taken place and our Lucky boy started laughing before perma-killing the bastard. The actual objective of the quest got fulfilled as well and for a while everything seemed more than ok. Our boy dropped most of his more self-destructive habits and seemed to have gone back to who he was as much as it was possible for someone who'd changed so much. He reconnected with all the family and friends who'd have him back and seemed to revel in their company. But soon enough the contents of that fateful conversation came to light and not by choice. He'd never claimed the curse had been lifted but as it turns out, it got reversed. In an attempt to save himself the bastard threatened to make so that if he were to be killed by Lucky and he dared to love anyone afterwards then he'd be signing his own death sentence. So now his former quest partners are on a self-imposed quest to reverse *that*. Lucky himself couldn't care less but tags along 'cuz he doesn't want his idiots to get killed in his behalf. Everyone else gives it their all. They still fail. Just as Lucky thought they would and never blamed them for.

In this DOZI/ST:TRM AU I think he should be death since well before Izuku was offered OFA but that his presence should still be felt. And, I'm just spitballing her but, since this Izuku never developed a hero-worship for Bakugou, can you imagine how that offer would've been affected by Lucky filling up that role for Izuku instead? If this boy had already seen one of his imperfect but amazing and seemingly untouchable heroes die before meeting an All Might that's obviously holding by a thread he'd jump at the chance of keeping him from a tragic fate. After both the eidolon and daddy dearest he wouldn't even question quirks being transferable but he may have questions about whether or not anything besides power is passed down with OFA. Also, this Izuku would probably have some very conflicted feelings towards The Godess Of Love.

With that essay over, I just wanna say that looking back I found a really answer you gave about what you'd like to explore if you were to DOZI and it being either amazing crack or thoughtful dive into heavy themes and since I've always been a "Why not both?" kinda gal I'm gonna get straight to reccing those fics I mentioned. First off, I think having had Lucky in his life would鈥檝e made Izuku a lot less tolerant of Mineta and therefore far faster in helping the girls pull the Fury level power play they threw down at the creep in "Mineta's No Good Very Bad Vibes (or: where enough is enough)" by hannahbal. But also that ask about everything about the funky bean being contagious reminded me of "don't you just want to go apeshit?" by kkachis, MargaritaDaemonelix, which is an amazing read for anyone who has yet to see the potential of memes as a tool of psychological warfare. And lastly, the "god Izuku needs a nap" series by Universal_stoat has the Vestiges pulling some UA Unsolved bs that ends up convincing a bunch of people of Izuku's godhood which, kinda fitting for any Greek Gods AU.

Anyways thank you for putting up with this ramble if you've read it till the end and sorry for the lenght. Have an amazing life ❤❤❤

"I named you Good Luck Good Luck, cuz you're going to need it, kid" <- guy who tragically isn't the god of naming things and doesn't have power to actually imbue luck

Lucky sounds like a very fun oc, and I agree it would definitely fit for Izuku to really look up and admire some older campers, which means statistically... Well you know their life expectancy. It would be a fun aspect to consider with Izuku's looking up to All Might in another but similar way

[christianjaym]

Pitch Experience: Part 1 Not Bad Huh?

It’s pitching time! Isn’t it exciting? No, it’s not. To be honest, the word “pitch” that I am familiar with is the one from baseball, not the one I’ll be sharing. So, after learning the other meaning of this term, I suddenly felt nervous because pitching is the same as talking in front of a crowd, which is a weakness of mine. Pitching is the process of presenting the innovative idea you have thought of in a professional way.

We have been instructed to look for facilities and identify problems to construct an innovative solution. I have several ideas in mind, but only a few were presented since most are impractical, like the first one I thought of: self-arranging chairs powered by Bluetooth. Really? Is that even possible? I thought of that because I felt sorry for those people who are exhausted and weak while they are forced to carry and arrange the chairs to our teacher’s preference. I wanted to create technology to make our lives easier, but I realized that the more I thought about it, the more complicated it became. I can’t make it possible because I envisioned wheels on every foot of the chair, which made me realize that carrying the chairs is easier than implementing that technology.

Next, I thought of the idea of a vending machine with different types of bread, but it already exists in some countries. I also thought of gym filters to help you visualize your fitness goals, whether to be muscular or just slim. There would be a mirror with filters, but I couldn’t pursue it due to a lack of resources. I considered applying the filters to a barber shop so you could see how different haircuts would look based on your head size and select your desired style. Unfortunately, that idea was already taken, and I ran out of ideas.

So it’s pitching time! The venue was the AVR room in CIC. It was very comfortable there, so I didn’t waste time pitching. I struggled to find ideas, but luckily, just before our pitching session, I came up with an idea! It was about agriculture, specifically ducks. The problem is that it is hard to determine the gender of a duckling, so I proposed a solution that involved analyzing their blood to identify gender differences. As I went in front of the crowd, I presented my idea thoroughly, but sadly, it was not accepted. Later on, I reflected on why it was rejected and realized that there were some aspects of the problem that my technology couldn’t solve.

[lady-of-endless]

“I stand with you” (Ramattra x Reader)

Author’s Note: So I found another muse and I’m obsessed. Here is a nice little angsty fic (with a happy end). As usual, please excuse any grammar mistake, I’m not a native speaker.

Word count: 1743

Edit: here’s a new fic that can be read separately https://www.tumblr.com/lady-of-endless/710235615367692288/flashbacks-and-height-differences-ramattra-x?source=share

What should be done when someone despises you for who you are?

Your answer was to leave that individual alone and try not to bother him as much as possible, minding your business. It was supposed to be simple, not the complicated task it turned out to be.

Even if you went on with your daily duties at the peaceful monastery in Nepal, he kept on testing you. Slowing you down with his ravenous vortex, blocking your way with his void barrier, whatever it took to reveal your true colors and prove to his brother the hideous truth about human nature. It become a routine whenever he visited.

It all started when Zenyatta announced his brother's first visit to Nepal. Despite your excitement to meet him, your mentor had to briefly explain Ramattra's principles. Before even trying to find a solution, he already arrived.

You could recall how shivers ran down your spine when your chin was lifted by his staff to look up at him.

"Your name, human."

His voice was a shadow compared to the light of Zenyatta's tone. Ramattra spoke harshly, demanding. He could have ended you then and there but instead he gifted you mercy.

So, since then, there were only two kinds of days in Nepal. Calm days and days in which Ramattra visited and interfered with whatever you tried to do. However, with each of the latter, you started to learn more about the vengeful omnic and his devastating story. Unconsciously, Ramattra also discovered more about you. As sickening as it was initially to watch you get along with every omnic from the monastery, he started to get more curious. As trust does not blossom overnight, his visits started to get more frequent. Gradually, his daily torments stopped but even so, you still felt his gaze on you.

One day, Zenyatta decided to visit another monastery in Nepal with Genji. He left you and his dear brother responsible for the sacred place, much to Ramattra's displeasure who was not supposed to be there.

The night was so quiet, a serene snowing night, that could not anticipate such an unfortunate event.

Pacing aimlessly in your room with a late-night cup of tea, you accidentally saw from the window the terrible image of an omnic trapped under a fallen statue that decorated the court of the monastery. Gasping, you dropped the cup instantly, leaving your room in a desperate hurry but knowing exactly who could help.

His name echoed through the halls as you ran barefoot and called for him.

Arriving at his door, you started to bash your fists against the wood repeatedly, not caring about his recharging state at that late hour.

He heard your voice from the first call and sighed deeply, looking at the door but not moving yet.

"Ramattra, please! It's an emergency! An omnic!" You explained in a breathless voice. "Is injured, please, help."

Finally, the door was opened swiftly, his tall figure towering over you.

"Take me there."

You nodded and started running again, with him by your side this time.

"If you have anything to do with this, human, I will not hesitate to-"

"A statue fell over because of the weather." You stated hastily.

It was only then he realized it was indeed horrible weather outside, and even worse for something so weak as a human. Yet, there you were, running in a flimsy impractical outfit. He could not throw a remark because you both arrived at the scene.

A broken and incredibly heavy statue kept the poor monk injured and trapped in place. His pleas to help him panicked you even more. Ramattra wasted no time changing to his nemesis form to lift the stone from the omnic.

After that, when he reversed his transformation to his omnic form, you felt that it was your turn to act. Almost bumping into Ramattra who also wanted to look at the injuries, you both analyzed the damage fast.

It was critical. Ramattra got solemnly quiet and you were quick to notice it.

"No, don't even think about it, there must be something we can do."

He slowly shook his head, he has seen too many injured omics not to predict the outcome.

"I think...I can try to heal him." You continued in a small unsure voice.

Ramattra froze in place remembering that his brother explained how you were studying ways to use your healing ability the first time he saw you at the monastery.

"You think? Are you this unsure of your abilities?" He asked more sharply than he intended.

"I have never done this before... Healing an omnic." You explained in a whisper so that the one in pain could not hear.

Ramattra was speechless once again. Before he could demand explanations, you already started.

"Just describe to me how those components look when they're in perfect shape."

After voicing your idea, you pleaded to the injured omnic to stay with you, cupping his face gently. That gesture of human warmth should have infuriated Ramattra but not this time. "Please hurry, let us do it, Ramattra." You said daring to grip his hand tightly.

He was baffled by everything and especially by the hope in your eyes when looking at him. Why were you this motivated to save an omnic? How dare you care for one of his people when you were just a human? Leaving his wonder behind, Ramattra cleared his throat and started to help you.

Now, with your hands on the cold metal of those broken components you were trying to focus while Ramattra explained how each circuit should be in a stern voice. As you took in his words and concentrated, the damage started to slowly reverse under your touch. He looked in wonder at the omnic and then closely at your face.

After what seemed to be so many moments of an intense healing process, the injured omnic could finally get up from the ground alone. Happiness flowed in his tone when he thanked both you and Ramattra for saving his life. You were smiling weakly in return, something still felt off.

"Thank you for your crucial explanations. You saved another one." You said to Ramattra while both of you looked at the omnic who was walking back to his room in safety.

Ramattra only shook his head and started walking away from you already. This event got him too confused. He had to encounter the joy of keeping another omnic safe with caution and also sort his thoughts alone.

"Maybe you should study more since you are even staying at a place full of us omnics, don't you think?" He commented preparing for one of your comebacks.

However, no answer was heard from you this time, no response, no calm voice.

If Ramattra could have frowned, he would do it right then. Instead, he stopped and dared to be curious about your condition, taking a look over his shoulder. He saw you crashed on the ground, in the thin layer of cold snow.

...He stopped in place.

This is probably a false alarm, he thought. But he convinced himself that you had no intention of testing him.

...He took a step closer.

Maybe you wanted to pay him back for all of his torments. But you never seemed that upset or bitter about it.

...He walked closer to your static figure.

"Get up, human." His voice was as sharp as the wind.

A thought of using his staff to touch you flashed across his circuits but he kneeled next to your body instead. You were still breathing but shivering. Unintentionally, he remembered his brother's explanations again. What you also tried to learn from Zenyatta was how to handle energy loss after healing someone. You needed to rest, but logically not outside in that freezing weather.

Ramattra called your name. For the first time, he did not call you "human", "human pet", or "nuisance", he called the name that tormented his thoughts for days.

Hearing it, made you weakly open your eyes just to close them back.

"Get up now, or your vitals will drop!" He repeated, slightly nervous.

No reaction.

You knew that healing an omnic was different from what you knew you could do and something probably draining, yet you did it with no hesitation.

What was the reason?

Defeated, Ramattra looked around for any other omnic in sight but there was none. He sighed and embraced your body clumsily.

For years, he only knew how to harm a human, not protect it. He had no idea how to hold a body like yours, how to keep it close, safe. Yet, he had to do it. No, he started to want to do it. He did not care how fast the color from the human faces can drain because of low temperatures before, now, it started to worry him.

With the help of his nemesis form, he could put his scarf around your shoulders without letting your body out of his unfamiliar embrace.

"You forgot what I am?" You whispered in a shiver, feeling what he was doing.

There was never a moment in which he would forget what you were. A human that got on his nerves with your affection and care for the ones of his kind (without being a deception, he discovered). A human, different from those oppressors who took away the ones close to him and he killed in return. How could he forget when your face haunted him in his tries to meditate or make plans lately?

"Shut it or I will leave you where I found you." He said instead of everything else. "Save your energy and hold onto me."

So, yes, he knew what you were and who you were. The one that saved an omnic, the one that likes to interact all the time with ones of his kind, the one that wants to learn more.

Your name did not sound like a bad omen anymore.  

Was this what Mondatta preached about? Was this what Zenyatta tried to explain about you? A flashback of his lectures at Shambali made Ramattra feel a pressure in his chest, right where he thought he had a blade instead of a heart.

Suddenly, a cold gust of wind hit. Still advancing through it, Ramattra looked down at your peaceful expression and carefully placed a hand on the side of your face to shield you.

"You are safe with me."

[agentrouka-blog]

Can you make me a scale of most grey to least grey POV characters? And can you sprinkle funny commentary throughout?

This has spent a few weeks pushed behind the stacks in my Inbox by other asks, but much to my consternation it was not eaten by moths or mice, and once again I am faced with this ask that you deliberately chose to send to me, even though I am such a nice person.

The Rouka remembers. 

Okay, fine, let's have a look . How long can it possibly take?

*counting the POVs*

*disapproval intensifies*

(I will make you pay for this.)

Okay. Fine. From DARK to LIGHT:

31) Varamyr - Like if Tyrion was a warg, but without the desire to be liked and doing “nice” things for that reason. Everything is an opportunity to feed his hungry, angry ego - warging, rape, murder, theft. In-built punishment: nothing is ever enough, because he secretly hates himself for being “lump”, and he always will. Get out of One-Eye and die already.

30) Cersei Lannister - Will refrain from murdering children if it’s the impractical thing to do. Is not viscerally delighted to witness or engage in graphic torture. Less of a hypocrite than certain other villains. She’s not pretending to be good. 100% Cersei time all the time, no apologies. Not that it will make you feel better when you’re down in Qyburn’s laboratory of doom. Evil but entertaining!

29) Tyrion Lannister - Like if Theon’s potential for complexity was utterly drowned out by self-pity. He’ll murder people and then whinge about how bad it makes him feel to have done that. And then do worse. He’ll instigate the devastation of an entire region over a personal grudge. I want to watch his soul be scorched while he watches, I want his monumental ego to convulse in agony while he realizes that the reason he is not loved is his own damn self. But he is occasionally friendly to people like Podrick, and will do “good” things if it flatters his ego, so I’ll rank him higher than Cersei. 

28) Daenerys Targaryen - the ego that obliterated the solar system. Like if Victarion was a young girl with dragons. Less rock, more lava. Programmed to Targ. Essentially incapable of escaping her fate because she was raised to consider herself the pinacle of humankind, and all morality is relative to her needs. Will kill a child. Will kill a slave. Will kill slavers for killing children. Very capable of sadistic pleasure. Vaguely more prone to contemplating ethical questions, and then ignoring the result when it’s unpleasant. Body count unusually high for someone her size. Hypocrite. Hypocrite. Hypocrite. 

27) Melisandre - Infected with an unfortunate case of “the end justifies the means”, coupled with an even worse case of Sunk Cost Fallacy when it comes to the whole Azor Ahai business. That special religious fanaticism flavor of “Burning you alive in complete agony is actually good for you! You’re welcome!” Will kill a child with completely neutral feelings on the subject. But her intentions are good! Not that this will comfort you while you feel your toes roasting on the pyre.

26) Victarion Greyjoy -  Exists on a level of stupidity so profound that it doesn’t even contain moral considerations. Many rocks are grey, but his rock is unfortunately programmed to ironborn, so all that rape and murder makes him a dark grey basalt.

25) Chett - Like if Tyrion was low-born and his disability was “ugliness”. He kind of wanted to be liked, but he chose to be a vengefully grim self-pity machine instead. Mean to animals, too! I don’t fault him for conspiring against Mormont, only for doing it in a really selfish way. RIP, and stop kicking those dogs! 

24) Aeron Greyjoy - what happens when your cultural programming makes it impossible for you to not be horrible, but you tried to have a redemption arc, so you went from being a violent raider to being a religious fanatic instead. He’s not evil, not even totally devoid of compassion. Just perfectly at peace with cruelty when it’s for the “correct” reasons. You reap what you don’t sow.

23) Theon Greyjoy - Oh my god, you trainwreck. You are what Tyrion wishes he was. Someone I can love in spite of his horrific trauma-driven choices. And they were horrific. Rape and murder and the enabling of both. And his good actions are still mostly rooted in ego. His love is real but it was so easily overpowered by his anger. Come on, squid boy, work on that self-reflection now that you have your name back. I will cheer for your atonement path should you choose to accept it. For now, you’re a tragedy that has stopped digging and taken the first step up toward the light.

22) Merrett Frey - Oh for the love of french fries, just shut up you pathetic little man. I would have more pity if you’d been a decent father, but you couldn’t even do that. Live by sneaky ambush, die by sneaky ambush. Wenda sends her regards: RIP with that branding on your butt. 

21) Jaime Lannister - So grey he can’t even see his own edges. Few qualms about engaging in villainy or trying to kill children on any given day, but restrains himself because he is touchy about his reputation. Not generally sadistic. Will save a maiden if it flatters his own self-image that day. Abstractly fascinated with the idea of being “good” in a way that promises a potential net positive effect of his existence, all things considered.

20) Asha Greyjoy - Special “Least dark Greyjoy” trophy! Love my girl Asha, but she is still ironborn and likes a good raiding and killing. Capable of taking on a broader perspective, though, and the only Greyjoy who considers her mother in her thoughts. Has a subtle but fascinating growth arc that promises good things in terms of forging a path away from a predatory lifestyle to a more cooperative one for what remains of her whole people. Keep on trucking, pirate lady.

19) Kevan Lannister - Special “One of the least toxic Lannisters!” trophy. Cute because he actually loves his wife and their children. But looses points for weaponizing misogyny against his horrific niece instead of taking vengeance in an honorable way. Also he’s still a Lannister and a Tywin stan, so. RIP, enjoy that stabbing, Kevan.

18) Jon Connington - Not a horrid person, but clearly too egocentric to take a step back and reconsider his taste in men, and whether the failure to win a siege through cruelty was truly a failure at all. Eh. But kudos for protecting Aegon. A loyal guy if nothing else. So far. 

17) Arys Oakheart - So pathetic he doesn’t even qualify as a baddy. No spine to speak of, feels really bad about beating a child on command, utterly incapable of standing up for himself, either in the face of moral pressure or in the face of temptation. Self-pity champion. Mediocrity, thy name is Arys. RIP, you made room for Ser Robert The Strong, who will be more entertaining than you.

16) Davos Seaworth - a smart, compassionate man rendered horribly pathetic by his blind loyalty to Stannis. Sure, he’ll smuggle out a bastard boy to save his life, sure, he’ll disapprove of burning people alive. But he still supports the quest for kingship of the guy who would have killed Edric and who does authorize burning people alive. Cognitive dissonance subtracts 50 points. Also a deeply mediocre father and husband. Meh.

15) Bran Stark - A sweet, loving boy, who is using a horrible coping mechanism to deal with a traumatic loss (and then some) and is running out of the “just a child” excuse. Rated darker than Arya because he knows that his innocent friend Hodor is terrified, and he’s still forcing himself on him, making excuses that he knows are weak because he wouldn’t dare voice them to someone out loud. Bran. No. NO. Bad boy. He’ll do better and save the world, though. 

14) Arya Stark - Promising preoccupation with justice that has - for now - been disturbingly derailed into enjoying vengeful vigilantism. Quick to lash out (verbally and violently) instead of taking ONE DAMN MINUTE to consider if her “opponent” maybe has more complex reasons for their actions than to Make Arya’s Life Harder. She is just as determined and stubborn for good things, though, like rescuing various people, or showing mercy to even the undeserving. Ultimately, a baby that needs to be held and cuddled so she’ll calm down. 

13) Arianne Martell - A political player, kind and clever but with a dangerous taste in friends and exes. Unfortunate capability of holding on to silent grudges forEVER and never trying to clear the air. Few qualms about using people to achieve her ends, including children, but also unusually capable of self-reflecting and honest regret. Genuinely wants to do well. The only way is up and up and up, future queen of Dorne.

12) Barristan Selmy - Kind of a nice guy, but in a deeply pathetic “just following orders” way he doesn’t want to admit to himself. Great at realizing he was wrong about someone after it no longer matters, and then rushing in to be blindly loyal at the next tyrant. Good with kids, though, and a joy to have in class.

11) Eddard Stark - TALK, DAMN YOU, YOU SOFT-HEARTED COWARD. Talk to your wife, talk to your nephew, talk to your daughter. FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. They all love and admire you so much, you have nothing to lose, damn you! Oh, and while you’re at it, keeping hostages is a bad BAD idea. A good guy who will stand up to power, but who will unfortunately often take the easy way out when he has the power to do it. RIP, quiet wolf.

10) Jon Snow - Brave sweetheart with a dark side. His wobbly sense of self-worth leads to self-isolating, and sacrificing himself and others for the big picture. Questionable taste in childhood heroes. Imprinted on Ned’s “No talking” issues. Can snap into blind rage when the wrong button is pushed. A petty drunk. Has shown himself very capable of growth, though, and feels a profound sense of responsibility for the greater good. Soft for children, grim to abusers, will stand up to bullies, fluffy romantic. Will enjoy beheading you if you give him a legal excuse to do it. Kind to animals! Foreshadowed dark turn: Would you bed your sister? Jon? Answer the question! Jon! 

9) Pate - Not evil, but high on the self-pity and wounded ego, which makes him confused about what “love” is. He thinks it’s buying a girl from her mother, like a goat. Pate, my boy, did you consider asking Rosey if she even wants to tour the countryside on donkeyback with you? Did you ever consider that her mother has no interest in selling her to you for your stolen dragon? RIP, dumbass.

8) Catelyn Stark - One of the few consistent advocates for 1) women, 2) peace, 3) Eddard Stark’s cuddly torso. Follows social norms to a fault, which enables the stupid men and boys in her life to keep being stupid, and puts pressure on the non-conforming child. When she snaps, it’s for love. When she lashes out, it’s because she is basically incoherent from grief or has a bad case of raised from the dead. Made Tyrion look stupid, which is an ethical achievement. RIP, Lady Stark, daughter of Riverrun.

7) Sansa Stark - Will absolutely wish you dead and call you ugly and stupid if you wrong her, but be horrified if you actually die. Kind to people 95% of the time. Enjoys the snark, but mostly toward those who deserve it. At the moment far too comfortable with outsourcing her life choices to Horrific People due to self-doubt causing brain-freeze. Take some responsibility and be the change you want to see in the world, little one. The first step is the hardest. Foreshadowed dark turn: How would you like to marry your cousin? What if you didn’t yet know he’s your cousin? What then? 

6) Will - Just a dude in the Night’s Watch, doing his ranger duty and witnessing a horrid supernatural murder before being horridly supernaturally murdered. No moral failings to be detected. RIP, little poacher man.

5) Maester Cressen - Sweet to children, will self-sacrifice to stop a fire-mad sorceress, closes his eyes to the culpability of those he loves. RIP, old man. You tried with that Stubborn Stanny.

4) Samwell Tarly - Will canonically not even hurt a mouse and tries to reason with wights, but has one surprisingly violent outburst at a singer and finds manipulating elections to be a surprisingly intuitive task. A much better grasp of right and wrong than Jon Snow when measured by the scale of Gilly. Also an absolute sweetheart. Can’t wait to see GRRM torture him with real moral ambiguity in the future. <3

3) Quentyn Martell - He just wanted to make his father proud. He did nothing bad, and the one ambiguous thing he tried instantly roasted him. :( RIP, little dreamer. You will be missed.

2) Areo Hotah - He guards and he watches. No pretense at moral fortitude, but no known transgressions, either. Patient with Doran, fond of the Martell clan. Not many chinks in that armor. 

1) Brienne of Tarth - Wear shades or the bright white of her soul will blind you. The purest and bestest. Better than you, better than your fave, better than anyone else you could name, don’t even try.

[poetofthefall]

wasting away again

"You're fucking kidding me."

Jim doesn't look up from the sink. At least, Sebastian doesn't think he does, but the angle (flat on his back on the shitty sofa) doesn't give a clear line of sight.

"I'm sure I'm not," the criminal replies, voice chipper in a tight, dangerous sort of way.

Sebastian winces at the loud clang of silverware against the metal sink. He gives up on trying to look at Jim and lets his torso sink as far as it can into cheap polyfill cushions, breathing carefully. It feels like someone took a tire iron to the back of his skull- what a coincidence, someone did- and his entire body is suffering from the effects. He can't actually remember how they made it out of the carpark.

Are they even still in Scotland?

"Don't you think two weeks is a bit much?"

"It'd be lovely if you didn't question me right now, Moran. I'm not in the mood."

"...Thought you weren't supposed to let people with concussions fall asleep," he slurs to the ceiling instead.

"And I thought you were supposed to be good at your job," another loud noise, this time the ring of ceramic, "but apparently, neither of us are going to be fulfilling our obligations today."

It stings his pride, badly. Seb closes his eyes and lets out a measured breath. The bright, cheery tone Jim's affecting sounds more and more brittle as he goes on talking, and Seb's too damn tired and sore to face one of the man's moods right now. Not on top of the sensation of failure sinking into his aching body.

He wants to argue the impracticality of staying in this shithole for so long, especially through the upcoming heat wave, but silence is unquestionably the best option right now.

Suits him fine. Talking’s difficult, anyway. Seb focuses on the buzz of the street through the thin walls of their temporary bolthole, and the stream of tap water, and the tense clatter of dishes, trying to distract himself from his injuries. Eventually, the sounds fade together, and then away into background noise. He drifts, weightless, for what feels like an eternity, before something becomes obvious to him. "Bloody hate Glasgow," he mutters to empty air.

Another eternity, and there's a warm puff of air next to his cheek, sending a warning signal his mind isn't able to properly process. "Just be glad," someone says flatly, "That you aren't on its fucking coma scale."

That's funny. He should say so, but the world keeps its distance, blurring further and further out of reach until it shifts to black.

--

By the time Sebastian can move around without needing to vomit- two days later? three?- a penetrating, bone-deep heat has already sunk into the flat. With no breeze to speak of, opening the windows is worse than useless, letting in waves of heat from the sun-warmed pavement below.

He wants to shower the grime off his skin, but there aren't any towels, and the only clothes in the safehouse belong to Jim, who's a few sizes smaller in every dimension, even in a world where bumming some sweatpants wouldn't nab him a truly traumatic brain injury.

Seb settles for stripping down in the bathroom and wiping his wounds clean, surprised and unfortunately a little touched to find his head wound already treated. It was a matter of practicality, of course, but also a weird kind of honor; he's fairly sure this is the first time James Moriarty has ever provided care for another person.

Partially because he did a shit job of it.

Seb does the best he can with the generous first aid supply under the sink, because the last thing he needs right now is an infection- the thought of getting a fever, more than anything else, has him paying extra-special attention to the wound.

By the time he leaves the tiny tiled room, his skin is prickling with sweat. He dislikes being cooped up in general, but he hates this safehouse in particular. It's plainly one Jim never expected to use for any significant amount of time. With his faculties fully intact, though, Seb realizes that Jim obviously knows more about the specifics of their situation than he does. If he says they need to stay out of sight for a couple weeks, Seb isn't going to protest the decision.

The crime lord makes himself scarce for most of the day. Probably holed up in the master bedroom on his phone, immaculate as always, conducting his empire from afar while Seb sweats like a dog on what's quickly becoming his least favorite piece of furniture.

He can't actually find his own phone, so after wolfing down two entire cans of Spaghetti-os, Sebastian restlessly excavates the bookshelves for something interesting. It's either that or chain smoking in the miserable little chainlink-fenced excuse for a backyard.

Time passes agonizingly slowly. Sweat trickles down his neck, sticks under his arms and the creases of his thighs. Patience is all well and good, but Seb's only good at waiting if it has a purpose.

Dinner is a halfway decent concoction made from spam, canned pineapple chunks, and some bland fried rice. They're already running low on food; there's no way the supply in the pantry will last more than a couple of days. The prospect of a supermarket run (and its blessed air conditioning) actually eases a bit of the tension in Seb's chest.

He saves some for Jim in the pot. Figuring he may as well take his plate to the pile of old National Geographics on the sitting room floor, he turns the corner out of the kitchen and nearly drops it running into someone.

A switch flips, and he's halfway through the motion of finding a fun, improper new use for his fork before he recognizes the man's face.

"I wouldn't," Jim suggests darkly.

"You're… not wearing a shirt," Seb says slowly, immediately grimacing at the words. He gets a withering glare in return.

Jim is, in fact, clad in only an undershirt and slacks. More than that, Seb can make out perspiration on his forehead and clear evidence of more under his arms. He looks murderous and deeply uncomfortable. It's the least put together Seb's ever seen him, and he's slapped with another reminder that, despite everything, James Moriarty is, in fact, a human being.

"Anything else you'd like to say about it?"

Seb shuts his mouth and shakes his head, stepping back. His boss looks worse off than Sebastian feels, and it's somehow wrong, seeing him like this. He can't help noticing the way the undershirt is clinging to Jim's sides, or his lack of a belt.  "Not at all."

And then, with sudden cheer, "Oh- are you a fan of National Geographic?"

For a moment, it looks like Jim is going to attack him.

--

Night falls.

Jim orders him to throw all the windows open in the hope of a faint breeze, but whatever pleasant effect might be brought on by the lower temperature is cancelled out by the fucking humidity. They end up eating together, half-laying on the cool tile of the kitchen floor, retro editions of Nat Geo spread between them because Jim left his phone on the bed and walking all that way was too much effort.

"At least in the desert," Seb drawls into the silence, low and lazy, "the heat didn't try to drown you."

Jim just grunts.

Seb keeps shooting glances at him when he thinks Jim is distracted. He's never seen him like this, sluggish and cross with everything and- well, seemingly miserable. On the upside, apparently, he has quite nice arms. And shoulders. And Seb likes the way his waistband cuts into his stomach when he sits hunched over, focused on the magazine below him.

Ohhh, Christ. Treading into dangerous territory, aren't we?

But that's nothing new.

And on the bright side, he's learning a lot about cicadas.

--

Sebastian wakes up late, irritable, and claustrophobic.

It's already too muggy to go for a run, and besides that, he doesn't want to put on his dirty, bloodstained trousers even enough to go out for a cigarette. The thought of the mostly empty pantry does cheer him a bit. While Jim mostly seems too busy for his own, he can hardly object to Seb's bodily needs.

He washes his clothes in the tub (cold knob turned up all the way) and hangs them over the shower curtain rod before shuffling towards what is sure to be an unappetizing canned breakfast.

"Good mo-orning!" Jim sings from the dinky little dining table. "Fruit of the Loom, hm? Always so practical."

It takes Sebastian's brain a few seconds to process both the contents of the living room and the fact that he's in his underwear in front of his employer of several years. Given the choice between annoyance and embarrassment, he takes a deep breath and decides to go with the first. He's not self conscious, and it's too hot for clothes. Jim had demonstrated that himself yesterday.

"I suppose you've ordered supplies in for us, then." He makes no effort to hide the irritation in his voice, but Jim seems not to care, waving a hand at the plastic bags crowding the living room floor. "Postmates," he says simply.

Seb sighs and crouches down to examine the closest one, highly aware of Jim's eyes on him. "Food, towels… Boss, please tell me you got me clothes. I can't wear the same bloody set for a fucking fortnight."

"I got you some clothes." The brunet blinks at him from across the room with a shitty little smile. He points to a mostly empty bag near the coffee table, and Seb narrows his eyes at Jim before opening it.

"These are... what?"

He lifts a single pair of bright yellow Tesco Brand Swim Trunks out of the sea of plastic, and Jim claps his hands together, shitty grin widening. "Surprise! They should fit perfectly. And I made sure they were your favorite color, too."

Sebastian has a stress headache beginning somewhere behind his eyes which, he's beginning to hope, might be a sign that his brain is finally starting to shut down, having been knocked around one too many times.

At the blank stare he receives, Jim sighs and drops his hands. "So this is the thanks I get for doing something nice."

"I'll be sure and thank you properly, if you ever actually do something nice for me," Seb deadpans, watching Jim closely. The man just shrugs and takes another sip of what looks like lemonade. Yesterday, a comment like that would have put Seb in deep shit. Today, Jim's humming something he swears is a Jimmy Buffet song.

"Why are you so chipper all of a sudden? It's not like we can just swan off to a public pool at the moment. You'd probably combust if you were forced to share water with the general public, anyways."

He imagines splashing around in the community pool with James Moriarty, floaties included, and the image is so absurd he has to stifle a snort.

Jim finishes the last of his beverage with an obnoxiously loud slurp and springs up from the table. He's wearing a T-shirt today, Seb notes with a pang of wistfulness, and… also swimming trunks?

"Come with me, Moran."

Seb throws the trunks somewhere behind him and follows with a growing suspicion that's proven correct as soon as the tiny, weedy, fenced-in yard comes into view. Approximately three quarters of it is taken up by the largest inflatable kiddie pool Sebastian's ever seen, classy and rectangular, complete with built-in seats, cup holders, and headrests.

It's nearly full at this point, sunlight dancing over the surface of the water, hose water, sure to be utterly ice cold. He twitches. Jim strolls out behind him, extremely pleased with himself. "Why not make the most of summer holiday, hm?"

Sebastian can't tear his eyes away from the pool, feeling the full force of the sun start to sink into his skin. It prickles hotly, and a bead of sweat rolls down his neck. "Of course, this isn't exactly my ideal stay, but since you got us into this mess."

He pauses, expecting a response, but Sebastian is busy rapidly calculating the amount of goodwill he's wracked up with Jim over the years and measuring it against his recent fuckup.

The math comes out about even. But Jim is in a good mood today…  

Well, then. Seb's always had a death wish, it's just been a while since he's chosen to pursue it.

He sprints forward as Jim starts talking again and dives in with a grin, the widest and most shit-eating he's possibly ever managed. Jim's voice has already risen to a shout before Seb makes contact, and by the time he surfaces, Jim is nearly shrieking, cotton shirt gone transparent with water. It's got to be cold. Seb knows it is, because he's absolutely, blissfully, freezing right now, ice water streaming down his face and in rivets down his back. He lets out a shout of wild joy, just because he can, and barely ducks in time to avoid Jim's empty glass.

A much more pleasing (and terrifying) sight greets him when he surfaces again; a furious, shirtless James Moriarty headed in his direction. He floats back a bit, teeth chattering. "S-sorry boss," the sniper calls insolently, letting out a bark of laughter as Jim puts a single foot in, gasps, and freezes.

"What, you gonna let me get away with that?" Seb teases unwisely, flashing a toothy grin. He splashes a wave of water in the criminal's direction.

If he dies here, he dies here. At least he'll go down shivering.

[part one] you are here, written by me

[part two] <-- written by @mathematicallyinsignificant

[angel-riki]

Dazed & Dreaming {Ch. 1}

summary: Y/N's life was always quite normal, some may even consider it boring. However, Y/N enjoyed her simple life and the little pleasures it brought. Unfortunately, that all changed the day she found out her best friend's biggest secret. Her discovery leads her down a rabbit hole of a new and confusing world she never knew existed. She must now navigate this new life filled with love, fear, and the supernatural. What awaits her down this path?

pairing: enhypen x reader (vampire au)

warnings: light swearing

word count: 1,435

chapters: [Ch.2] [Ch.3] [Ch.4]

~~~~~~~~~~

The brisk autumn air pricked at your cheeks, making you shiver as you clutched your coat tighter around your body. You picked up your pace as your shoes tapped lightly against the pavement. Walking to school was nice this time of year, you loved the autumn scenery which was full of rich colors and leaves dancing in the wind. Winter on the other hand, was another story. It was also quite pretty, yet much more inconvenient and impractical. However, right now it was a pleasant walk.

Before you know it, you're at the entrance of your school, trudging up the stairs. Oh how you longed to be back in your warm, soft bed, asleep. You begrudgingly continued on your way when you heard a familiar voice ring out,

"Y/N! Wait up!"

You recognize the voice without even needing to turn around, it was Jake. Jake had been your best friend since he had moved here from Australia way back in middle school. He meant the world to you. You've grown so close over the years, he practically knows everything about you at this point. And you know all about him as well. You smiled and waved at the cheerful boy as he jogged to catch up with you. Slightly out of breath and with flushed cheeks, he greeted you,

"Good morninggg!" He drew out the last syllable with a dorky grin on his face. You giggled, he was always so cute without even trying.

"Good morning," you replied, happily.

"Kind of chilly this morning, huh? Did you walk to school again?" He asked.

"Yeah, I did. I always walk to school, you know that," you chuckled at his silly question.

"You knowww," he began,

Oh boy here we go, you thought.

"Heeseung would totally give you a ride to school if you'd like," he stated. Jake had made this offer to you a few times, however, you always declined. Heeseung was a close friend of Jake's yet he was merely an acquaintance to you at best, you would feel bad having him drive you around. Especially since he already gave Jake rides every morning.

Also not to mention, you found Heeseung incredibly attractive and you don't think your heart could handle that...

"No that's okay, I wouldn't want to impose," you politely declined like always. Jake sighed. You were always so considerate, almost to a fault.

"Y/N, Heeseung totally wouldn't mind, he isn't like that, you know." He smiled, trying to convince you to accept the offer. Especially, knowing that winter was just around the corner.

"I know...I just would rather not," you said trying to escape the topic as your cheeks began to heat up. Jake sighed defeatedly and decided to let it go as you both continued your way into the building.

*****

The end of the day couldn't come soon enough as you headed towards your final class; physics. Yay. You've always hated physics and although you were a straight A student, your grades suffered in that class. Thankfully, Jake was quite good at physics and was always happy to help. Over time, he basically became your tutor. You scanned the front board to see what the topic of the lesson was today. Like usual, you couldn't make sense of any of it. God, I wish I had Jake's brain, you thought to yourself.

As much as you tried not to, you ended up tuning out the teacher and his lecture as your mind wandered to anything but physics. Before you knew it, class was over and students began gathering their books and shuffling out of the classroom. Shit. I didn't pay attention to any of that. You mentally kicked yourself for slacking off. Well, at least the school day is over. You headed back to your locker where you saw Jake waiting for you.

"Hey Y/N, how was physics? I know it's your favorite class," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up," you slapped him playfully on the arm, "I actually totally zoned out the whole period. Therefore, I'm lost and you really have your work cut out for you as my tutor," you retorted.

He laughed and shook his head, "Y/N, you're killing me!" He said while jokingly clutching his chest in imaginary pain.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry I should honestly be paying you at this point," you laughed.

"Nah don't worry about it, I'm happy to help," he said. Gosh he's so sweet, you thought. Sometimes you felt like you didn't deserve him. But if you ever dared to say that out loud, you know you would receive an immediate rebuttal from him. Because that's just how Jake is.

*****

*BZZZ* *BZZZ* * BZZZ*

You rolled over and groaned. Ughhh, it's already time to get up? You had stayed up later than usual the night before. You had been facetiming with Jake as he tried to explain your physics homework to you. Unfortunately, it took you quite a while to understand it since you hadn't paid attention in class earlier that day.

Just 5 more minutes...you thought as you lazily snoozed your alarm.

*****

Your eyes fluttered open as you awoke for the second time. Hm, that's weird. Why didn't my alarm go off yet? You grabbed your phone to check the time. You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the bright screen. Oh shit. You had overslept for 45 minutes. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. You mentally cursed at yourself as you scrambled to get ready in half the time you usually do. You frantically threw on your school uniform and hurried to the bathroom to brush you teeth. You gasped as you saw your reflection. You had the worst bed head you had EVER seen. Just my luck. You quickly threw your hair up into a half updo. Guess I'm going for the messy look today. You hurried downstairs and grabbed a granola bar on your way out. You headed down your driveway only to see a car parked on the side of the road right in front of your house. You were a bit confused but as you got closer you were met with two familiar faces. Oh no. This is Heeseung's car. Your stomach did a backflip. Heeseung smiled and gave a small wave as Jake greeted you from the passenger seat,

"Hey, Y/N! Sorry for the surprise, I knew you would never accept the ride but the weather's getting colder and I don't want you to get sick," Jake rambled.

"Jake told me that you walk to school every morning, but I don't mind giving you a ride, it's no problem at all," Heeseung added with a kind smile.

You appreciated the kind gesture, however, you were mortified. Here you were, looking like the hottest mess of the century in front of the hottest boy of the century. This can't be happening. Of all days, why today?!

You smiled meekly, "Wow, uh, thank you that's very kind of you! I guess I'll take you up on that offer since you already went out of your way to come here," you said apologetically. The two boys smiled at you as you opened the car door and climbed into the back seat.

*****

So far, the ride had been fairly quiet until Jake suddenly broke the silence,

"Y/N, did you do something different with your hair?" Jake asked as he turned around to face you.

God, why did he have to bring that up??

"Uh, yeah, I actually woke up late and my hair was a mess so I just tried to make the best of it," you laughed nervously.

"Ohh, well it looks nice!" he complimented.

"Yeah, you look cute." Heeseung added with his eyes still on the road.

You froze. Your brain began malfunctioning as you tried to compute what Heeseung just said. He called me cute. You chuckled anxiously as you felt your cheeks burning up.

"Thank you," you said shyly.

Jake had noticed your abrupt change in body language, which confused him. But then, it all clicked. Oh...She has a crush on Heeseung. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed it sooner. He grinned to himself, amused by his realization. Suddenly, it made sense why you never accepted a ride.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hi, guys! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I know it was a bit slow, but once the introductory part is out of the way, hopefully things will pick up the pace. Regardless, thank you for reading! I am also uploading this series on wattpad, so if you’d like to support it over there, that would mean a lot! I'm hoping to publish new chapters a couple times a week so keep your eyes peeled hehehe

~Elle <3

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART SIX

:Masterlist:

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, angst (sorry <3)

A/N: this was definitely meant to be posted like a week ago but here it is! <3

---

August 1994

The florescent lights of the hospital waiting room were starting to give you a headache. 

They were way too bright and flickered every so often that it made you dizzy to look at them. But you needed something to focus on to stave off boredom, so you focused your attention on the clock on the wall.

It read just after midnight and you silently cursed yourself, quickly pulling out your flip phone and dialing your mom’s number.

She was probably asleep by now, but thinking about her possibly waiting up and worrying made your stomach turn. The line rang for a moment, but then the ending tone chirped and you were left with her answering machine.

“Hey, Mom. Uh, we had a little accident at practice. Luke was practicing his guitar throw and he kind of threw out his shoulder. I’m gonna drop him off at home and then I’ll probably just stay at the studio so I’m not biking home so late. Okay, love you. Bye.”

You hung up the phone and shoved it in your pocket just as Luke appeared from behind the door. The nurse said something to him that made his eyebrows furrow but he nodded. As you got closer, you realized that his right arm was wrapped in a sling.

“So, you’re not dying?” You joked.

“I might as well be.” Luke pouted, lacing his other arm through yours as you start to walk out of the building and into the parking lot. “They said I can’t play guitar for two weeks.”

You hummed sympathetically, knowing more than anyone how much that was going to drive him crazy. “This is what you get for trying to be all ‘Rockstar’”

“Excuse you.” Luke said. “I am a rockstar.”

“Uh-huh.” You sarcastically nodded.

“You’re a jerk.” Luke grumbled petulantly, resting his head on your shoulder. “Here I am, in unimaginable pain and you have no sympathy.”

“Here’s a tip for the future, if you want sympathy then don’t make me drive through Hollywood past midnight.” You teased, lightly shaking him to show that you weren’t actually serious.

“I’m still surprised that Bobby let you drive ‘Amber’.” He gestured to the car you were walking towards.

‘Amber’ was a present that Bobby had gotten for his birthday a few years earlier and it was his most prized possession. Normally, he never would’ve let you take it, but he didn’t feel like driving and taking Luke to the hospital in the basket on your bike seemed a little impractical. So he had handed over the keys reluctantly.

“You got something to say about my driving skills, Patterson?” You asked as you unlocked the car and settled into the driver's seat. Luke got comfortable in the passenger seat, and winced as he looked over at you.

“Don’t get me wrong, (Y/n). You are many things,” He said. “But a good driver isn’t one of them.”

You flipped him off as you started the car and started pulling out of the parking lot. It was quiet for a minute, but just as you turned back on the street, Luke turned on the radio and a familiar song filled your ears.

“Mmm, yeah!

Tonight, I want to give it all to you,”

“Oh no.” You laughed, knowing exactly what you were in for from the way that Luke’s eyes lit up. He grinned as he cranked up the volume and shifted in his seat as much as he could, ready to give you the performance of a lifetime.

‘In the darkness, there's so much I want to do

And tonight, I want to lay it at your feet

'Cause girl, I was made for you

And girl, you were made for me,’

You were trying your best to keep your eyes on the road, but it was hard when Luke was being so frustratingly cute.

His hair was still messy from rehearsal so it stuck up in different directions and he had a dorky smile on his face as he drummed his fingers against the center console. You pulled up to a red light and Luke looked at you expectantly.

You rolled your eyes, but gave in, taking one hand off the wheel to make a makeshift microphone. Luke grinned as you both began to sing.

‘I was made for lovin' you, baby

You were made for lovin' me

And I can't get enough of you, baby

Can you get enough of me?’

One song turned into two, then three, then before you knew it, you had pulled onto Luke's street.

Unlike the rest of the neighborhood, every light in the Patterson household was glowing bright yellow into the night and Luke let out a heavy sigh.

"Thanks for driving me." He said, his voice suddenly a little quiet. You looked up to the window to see the shadows of Luke's worried parents as they passed the curtains and suddenly the levity in the air was gone.

"Of course." You said.

You both knew what was about to happen.

Luke had told you all about the famous Emily Patterson meltdowns, and how they had been getting more and more frequent since he formed the band. Luke spraining his shoulder was only going to give his mom more reason to push Luke away from music.

From your music.

"Hey," You reached over and interlocked his pinky with yours, making Luke raise his eyes from his feet. "Don't let her get in your head, okay? Our music is important, and I know she'll realize that someday."

Luke’s eyes held yours for what seemed like an eternity before lightly squeezing his pinky around yours. “How do you always know what to say?”

You laughed. “’Cause I’m the greatest best friend ever.”

Luke smiled, his eyes slowly drifting from your still connected hands back up to your face. “Yeah, you are.”

The softness in his voice made your heart skip a beat. “I’m serious though. We’ll get into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame someday and you’ll prove her wrong.”

Luke learned a little closer, his voice practically a whisper, "Is this your way of admitting that I actually am a rockstar?"

"Oh, shut up." You groaned as you threw your head back. "You're the worst, you know that?"

"You love me." Luke retorted.

"Unfortunately." You deadpanned. "Now get out of the car, dork."

Luke fake pouted as he wiggled out of his seat and started walking towards the door, he gave you a quick grin and a wave before disappearing into his house.

Once he was out of sight, you let out a sigh and leaned back against the seats, trying to remember the way his hand felt in yours.

---

2020

"(Y/n)! Where have you been?"

Alex demanded the second you stepped into the studio, a worried expression on his face. As soon as you left the diner so late, you knew that a lecture from Alex was coming.

"I’m sorry, Al." You said. "I just lost track of time."

"Were you with that guy from the diner?" He asked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow.

"Someone's in trouble." Reggie loudly whispered to Luke who was next to him on the couch. Just like usual, Luke barely spared you a glance before he glued his eyes back to his songbook.

"I don’t think you have any room to be teasing anyone about cute ghost boys.” You said, mirroring his position. “How was your afternoon with Willie?”

Across the room, you could’ve sworn Luke’s writing got heavier against the page. But when you looked over at him, he gave no other indication he was paying attention. 

“Don’t change the subject,” Alex's cheeks turned a little pink but he stood his ground. “You’ve been gone for hours.”

“Hey,” You walked up and rested your hands on his shoulders. “I’m sorry I made you worry. But you don’t have to. I’m good.”

“Of course I’m gonna worry.” Alex said, finally dropping his grumpy face and nudging you. “What else are best friends for?”

This time it wasn’t your imagination, Luke’s writing was definitely getting harder, enough to where it was going to rip a hole in the paper. Reggie and Alex noticed this time too and you all exchanged confused looks but before anyone could say anything, Luke jumped up from the couch.

“So! We should get working on this song.” He puts the page on the piano for you all to read. “I could use your help on the bridge, (Y/n).”

Alex shot you one last confused look and you shrugged before shifting your focus to the song. It was mostly finished, and with Julie’s poem as a guide for the lyrics, you were confident that it would be one your best songs yet.

Next to you, Luke scanned the page with the edge of his pencil, pointing at things he wanted your opinion on. Even with all the tension surrounding the two of you lately, it was nice to know that you were still a great team when it came to music.

---

For someone who learned that ghosts exist, that four of them from the 90′s were living in her best friends garage, and that they were all in a band together in one afternoon,

Flynn took the news surprisingly well.

Which meant that once Julie agreed to join the band, Flynn immediately started coming up with T-shirt ideas and new band names. You weren’t surprised at all when Julie announced that Flynn had booked a gig at the school dance a few days later.

You had all decided on the setlist that morning and had been practicing all day. Which meant by mid-afternoon, you had everything memorized. Since it was the first performance with Julie as a part of the band, you figured that letting her take the lead with vocals would be a good idea.

During the second break of the day, Luke and Reggie were messing around up in the loft, leaving you and Julie with nothing to do. So she offered to teach you a little about piano. It was a slow-going process but you were slowly getting the hang of it. "Okay, so, like this?"

Julie watched carefully as your hand flew across the keys. You miraculously played all the right notes to the song that Julie had taught you over the past half-hour and she beamed.

“Yeah! That’s perfect!” She said, “Play it again.”

Your finger was about to press down on the key, but then Alex phased through the doors. Ever since yesterday, you had been waiting for a moment to tease him about Willie. It was only fair since he just grilled you about being out all day.

“Hey, Al.” You greeted as you stepped away from the keyboard and wiggled your eyebrows at him. “And just where have you been?”

“Yeah, man, we gotta start practicing.” Luke said.

“For what?” Alex asked just as Flynn came strutting into the room. You noticed the colorful paper in her hand and nodded your head toward it with a grin. 

“For that.” 

Flynn set the paper down on the keyboard to Julie to see.

Alex whined as he looked it over. “Aw, man. We’re playing a dance?”

“Yeah, it’s how you build a following these days.” Luke said as he plopped down into a chair.

“Yeah, get with the program, Alex.” Julie said and Luke laughed.

The sound drew your eyes to his face and you can’t help but stare at him as you tried to remember the last time you and Luke had joked around like that. It used to come so naturally, but now even just being around Luke felt like a ticking time bomb of awkwardness. 

Luke’s eyes flitted up to yours for just a second and for the next few moments you couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking the same thing.

Flynn shouted, breaking you out of your thoughts. “The band is here?”

She then proceeds to wave to the wrong side of the room and you laughed as Julie gestured towards where you all were actually sitting. You all still waved back despite knowing she couldn’t see you.

“Okay, so now that Alex has graced us with his presence, we should get back to rehearsing.” Luke said and everyone nodded in agreement.

But before any of you could move, Carlos strolled in. “Hey, Julie, remember those orbs from dad’s pictures? I think they’re ghosts.”

Julie’s eyes went wide as she looked at the photos Carlos set on the keyboard right in front of her. She looked back and forth between all of you as Carlos rambled on.

“But don’t worry.” He said as he spun in a circle. “This room is clean, I’m not getting any ghost vibes.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. Carlos was exactly what you always pictured a little brother would be like. You had always wanted a sibling, but the closest you ever got was Reggie.

“If they come back, I’ll protect you.” Carlos puffed out his chest a little. “Because I’m the man of the house.”

Julie raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t dad supposed to be the man of the house?”

“There can be two.” He said as he pulled a salt shaker out of his pocket. “According to the internet, salt burns out their souls.” 

Your eyes all got wide and you backed up until you were almost against the wall. Reggie and Luke both yelped and jumped up as Carlos spun in another circle. Alex screamed as salt went right through his torso, but he straightened a second later with a sheepish smile.

“I’m okay.”

“You’re such a drama queen.” You snort as Alex flipped you off. Julie nodded at Flynn to distract Carlos and she led him out through the doors and back up to the house.

Once they had left, you turned to Julie with an excited smile. "Wait, before we start, I wanted to show you some old Sunset Curve songs."

"Ooh, okay!”

Luke opened his songbook and a page quickly fell out. You instantly recognized the cramped but neat handwriting and laughed at Reggie. "'Home Is Where My Horse Is'? Again, Reg?"

Reggie beamed. "It's a gift."

"Thanks, Buddy." Luke patted his shoulder before opening his songbook to a page in the middle and laying it across the piano for Julie to see. 'I think you’d kill this one."

Julie’s eyes scanned the page for a moment before flipping through the book. "Who's Emily?"

The color drained out of Luke's face as he scrambled for the journal. But Julie kept it just out of his reach. "And this another one, 'She Is Love’? Who knew you were such a romantic?"

You shared confused looks with Alex and Reggie. Of course, you all knew about ‘Unsaid Emily’. Luke always eagerly shared every part of his music with the band, even if it was just a few scribbled lines or a riff he thought of off the top of his head.

But it was clear from the guy’s faces that none of you had ever heard this song. Luke writing a love song was weird in itself, but him not telling anyone about it was even weirder.

"It's just something I tried." Luke said, a faint blush on his cheeks. "But you should flip to the next one. It's got a killer beat."

He played one of the first songs you had ever written for Sunset Curve 'Last Place' and Julie nodded along with a confused look. "So you wanna use a sample?"

"What do you mean?" You asked.

"Sample someone else's music." She explained. "I've heard that riff a million times. It's a classic Trevor Wilson song."

"Who?"

With a couple of clicks on her computer, Julie pulled up a picture of a middle aged guy leaning up against a guitar and your head started spinning.

"Guys, is that...?" You trailed off, hoping that you were wrong.

"It's Bobby." Luke finished.

"Seriously? I just told you his name is Trevor." Julie said.

Alex ran his hands through his hair, a slight scowl settling on his face. "Okay well then he changed it. That's definitely Bobby, he was our rhythm guitarist."

"He looks so old." You said, resisting the urge to reach out and poke the screen.

"He looks like a substitute teacher." Alex added, producing a slight chuckle from Reggie. 

"Julie, what were his other songs?" You asked. You had a feeling the bad news was only beginning. 

"'Get Lost'." She said and your heart sank even further.

"I wrote that." Luke said as he tugged his strap over his head. You could tell he was getting angry beneath his calm exterior, and the same feelings were rising up inside you as Julie went on. 

"’Long Weekend'?' She continued. 

"That one too." Reggie said. "It took (Y/n) and Luke like a month to finish."

"This is freaking me out!" Julie rubbed her temples. "This whole time I thought you were connected to my mom. But you're actually connected to Carrie's dad?"

"Add it to our list of questions." Alex sighed, his leg bouncing as he sat in front of his drum set.

“We used to talk about music all the time.” Julie said sadly. “He never mentioned you guys.”

"Of course not." You scoffed and Luke walked across the room and threw a dart at the board with enough force to put a hole in the wall. “He takes all the credit and doesn’t even mention us.”

“And he’s rich.” Julie flipped her computer screen around to show a photo of a huge mansion. “He has his own helicopter.”

Luke abandons the darts and makes his way over to the screen as Alex jumps up. “Man, we live in a garage!”

“It’s not about the money.” Luke huffed. “It’s about the music!”

Reggie whined. “It’s a little bit about the money.”

“A little about the money.” Alex emphasized.

“He could have at least shared it with our families.” You said, thinking about your mom and how she used to work extra shifts to take care of the both of you. 

Reggie nodded in agreement. “Then maybe my parent’s house wouldn’t have gotten turned into a bike shack.”

Luke took a deep breath. ”What he did was steal our legacy.”

There was a moment of tense silence before he spoke up again.

“Where does he live?”

Julie hesitated. It was clear that all of you were angry, but Luke was on another level. His music was everything to him and being betrayed by Bobby was clearly getting under his skin. You gave her a pleading look and she sighed.

“Above the beach in Malibu.”

Luke glanced at the three of you, asking a silent question. You all nodded and Luke threw on his jacket, a look of determination on his face. “Let’s go teach him a lesson.”

Julie got up from the bench and tried to protest, but you all phased away.

-

As you walked into the front door of the mansion, a million memories raced through your head.

Of days when the five of you would go down to the pier or the park and play for hours, or take a drive around the city in Bobby’s car and talk about being famous one day. You used to joke about someone breaking off and starting a solo career, never actually thinking it would happen.

But clearly Bobby took it a little too seriously.

You and Alex walked to one side of the house while Luke and Reggie searched the other side. Every wall you could see was covered in awards and photos of his performances along with a giant portrait of his face right above the living room. From a little further down the hall, Alex shouted your name and you walked over to see him pointing at a display of shiny silver records.

“Have you seen these records? They’re Platinum.” He said.

“Platinum?” You repeated in disbelief. You ran your hands along the frame and were shocked that you could actually touch it. Across the room, Luke grumbled.

“He recorded ‘My Name Is Luke’.” He said. “My name is Luke!”

Suddenly, you heard the front door open and Bobby walked in.

“There he is!” Reggie called and you all turned to face him as he walked up the stairs. You snorted at his outfit choice and Reggie scoffed, clearly thinking the same thing. “He wears sunglasses indoors.”

Luke and Reggie started bouncing up the stairs after him but you and Alex hung back. 

“Wait!” Alex called. “You know, It’s my first time haunting someone. I want it to be special.”

You stifled a laugh as Luke and Reggie exchanged confused looks before continuing up the stairs.

“I made that weird, didn’t I?” Alex cringed and you patted his shoulder.

“Definitely.” You laughed as you nudged him forward. “Come on.”

You reached the top of the stairs just as Reggie and Luke phased through a door at the end of the hall. Alex was quick to follow but you found yourself stopped in front of what you assumed was Bobby’s office. 

It was a huge room with expensive guitars and fancy furniture. It looked like every other room in the house, but for some reason, you felt like you needed to look in there.

Alex noticed your hesitation and frowned. “You coming?”

“I think I’m gonna look around a little more.” You said.

“You sure?” He raised an eyebrow and you nodded.

Once he was gone, you walked into the room and spun around, taking in the sight of even more awards lining the walls. Your blood boiled thinking about all the hours you had spent writing them only for Bobby to take the credit.

You crossed to the desk to find the bottom drawer cracked open. You tried not to open it, but your curiosity won out. It slid open and you saw that it was completely empty except for an old shoebox that was pushed all the way to the back.

The lid was covered with a thin layer of dust like it hadn’t been opened for ages. It took a minute of pulling, but you finally got the lid off and peered inside.

The first thing you saw was a guitar strap. It was black with white skulls and flowers lining the sides. You recognized it instantly as the one Alex got Bobby for his 17th birthday.

The second was a picture of Sunset Curve playing at the winter formal freshman year. You cringed while looking back at your questionable fashion choices, but the memory still brought a smile to your face.

Finally, there were a few picks spread out across the bottom of the box, and a faded napkin from the diner. 

A wave of confusion and regret washed over you.

So Bobby hadn’t forgotten about all of you.

Maybe he was a music-stealing weasel that you wished you could deck in the nose. But why would he keep all of this stuff if he still didn’t care deep down? If that seemingly always grumpy but secretly dorky boy you had known wasn’t still in there somewhere?

Suddenly, you heard screaming down the hall and you quickly closed the drawer before following the noise. It led to the bathroom door, where Luke and Reggie leaned up against the wall as Alex held the door shut. Then he backed up and the door swung open.

Bobby stumbled out with a terrified look on his face, running down the stairs while he mumbled to himself. The boys laughed and high-fived, grinning at you before phasing out again. You groaned and started walking downstairs where Flynn was sitting on the couch rambling to Carrie as Julie snuck into the backyard.

You followed Julie cautiously, knowing that she would probably be mad at you for leaving earlier. When you walked through the screen door and heard her start to lecture the boys, you knew you were right.

“So, did you guys have fun?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“You would do the same if he stole your music.” Luke said defensively.

“But you guys have new music with me.” Julie added. “And the best way to get back at him is for this band to do great. First we have to play dances, then clubs.”

“Then tours. I know.” Luke said and Julie sighed.

“I’ll see you guys at the school. We go on at 9:00.” She frowned. “Please don’t be late.”

“We’ll be there.” Alex said reassuringly. “Don’t worry.”

Julie turned and walked back through the screen door, giving you a tight-lipped smile as she passed. 

“I don’t care what Julie says. I’m glad we scared Bobby.” Reggie said as he glared up at the mansion.

“I mean, maybe it was a little harsh.” You said and all of them stared at you in disbelief.

“Harsh?” Luke sputtered, like he couldn’t believe that just came out of your mouth.

“I found some stuff upstairs.” You tried to explain.

“What kind of stuff?” Reggie asked.

“The picture of us playing back in freshman year, some of our old picks, his old guitar strap.” You said, but the boys didn’t look convinced. “Guys, Bobby was our friend. We shouldn’t forget that.”

Alex and Reggie looked a little conflicted, but Luke didn’t budge. “How are you so cool with this?”

“I’m not!” You sighed, talking a little louder than you meant to. “God, of course I’m not okay with it, Luke. I put just as much of myself in those songs as you did. But I think we’ve done enough. Besides, it's not like we can even confront him anyway.”

“Maybe we can.” Alex said and you all turned to look at him. “I mean, Willie knows a lot about ghost stuff. Maybe he knows a way we could talk to him.”

“Let’s go find out.” Luke smiled mischievously.

You frowned but nodded. “You guys go. I’ll meet you at the dance.”

“(Y/n)-” Luke started but you had already disappeared in a flash of bright white.

-

If there was anything you didn’t miss about being alive, it was school dances.

You were always wrapped up in work or band stuff to be able to go, let alone ask anyone to be your date. Playing at the freshman winter formal was the first and only time you had ever set foot in a dance until tonight.

Your eyes scanned the gym in awe as you followed Julie through the dancing crowd. There were bright lights and balloons everywhere. There were a few kids dancing but it wasn’t very crowded, but it was still early and you hoped more people would be there to see you perform.

Once you and Julie reached the stage, Flynn grinned from behind her DJ booth and gestured to the backstage area. Julie fiddled with the bottom of her shirt nervously as you both walked behind the curtain.

Flynn gave Julie a hug and you laughed as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Are they here?”

“(Y/n) is.” Julie explained and Flynn waved in your general direction in response. “The boys will be here later. At least I hope.”

“I’m sure they will be.” You tried to reassure her. “They know how important this is.”

Flynn nudged Julie’s shoulder with a grin. “Well, let’s get your stuff set up then.”

-

By the time 11:00 rolled around, you were ready to track the boys down and kill them again.

The dance floor was twice as crowded as it was when you got there, and everyone was impatiently waiting for the main performance. You knew that wherever the boys were, they must’ve just lost track of time and didn’t know they were late. But that didn’t stop you from being angry. Especially when you saw the look on Julie’s face.

“Hey,” You sat on the floor next to her while she stared sadly at the projector. “I’m sorry they’re not here.”

Julie just shrugged. “I was really looking forward to playing tonight.”

Your eyes drifted to the crowd, then to the projector, then to Flynn and you got an idea. “Maybe we still can.”

She furrowed her eyebrows but there was a spark of curiosity in her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“We can perform the songs. Just the two of us.” You started. “Flynn can play some backing tracks and we can still rock this place!”

Julie looked nervous and a little hesitant but she called for Flynn and the girl raced over immediately. She explained the plan quickly and Flynn grinned in approval and assured you that she would take care of the backup music.

A pit of butterflies opened in your stomach. You hadn’t performed without the boys for years, but with Julie to lean on, you were fairly confident that you could get through it without throwing up.

You went on with Julie as planned, pushing thoughts about what the boys must be doing off to the side so you could focus on the performance at hand. It wasn’t quite the same, but it didn’t seem like the audience could tell. You belted your hearts out as they danced along, and both yours and Julie’s nerves disappeared as you got lost in the music.

It ended with a thunderous round of applause and you and Julie taking a bow at center stage. You took your cue to phase away and there was another wave of cheering as Julie waved and joined you in the backstage area.

-

As the crowd of students began making their way home and the stage was being torn down, you sat on the gym floor beneath a colorful balloon arch with Julie. Flynn had made her way to the cafeteria, taking advantage of the fact that there were no adults to stop her. 

You watched the last few students leave, including the blonde boy you’d noticed staring at Julie all night. You turned to her with a playful smile. 

"So? When were you going to tell me about the cute boy who obviously likes you?" You teased and Julie sighed.

"Nick is Carrie's boyfriend." She said as her eyes drifted across the empty room and you smiled sympathetically. She elbowed the air next to your ribs, "When were you going to tell me about Luke?"

"What about Luke?" You asked, trying not to blush.

"Don't play dumb, (Y/n)." Julie smirked. "It's obvious."

You groaned, falling onto your back against the floor and Julie laughed. "How obvious?"

"(Y/n), you wear his jacket like everyday, and that song in his journal was one hundred percent about you." Julie laid down beside you.

You snapped your head sideways and Julie laughed again at your shocked expression. "What?"

"Come on." She said. "Who else could that be about?"

You thought back to earlier, when Luke looked like a deer in headlights as Julie read the title out loud.. But you knew there was no way that it was about you. I mean,  Luke never exactly had a shortage of girls that wanted his attention. 

Just as you were about to point this out to Julie, there was a series of bright lights and Alex, Luke and Reggie appeared in front of you. You and Julie stood up, wearing identical glares, the anger you both felt earlier returning in full force. But before you could say a word, Luke launched into an apology.

“We are so sorry that we bailed on you guys.”

“The night just got away from us.” Alex added, looking everywhere but your face.

“It was about Carrie’s dad, wasn’t it?” Julie asked and when none of the boys answered, she scoffed. “You know what? Save it. Bands don’t do this to each other, friends don’t do this to each other. This whole thing was a mistake.”

“You mean the dance, right?” Luke asked hopefully and Julie shook her head.

“I meant joining a band with you guys.” She said, trying to keep a straight face. You could tell she was holding back tears as she ran out of the gym.

Once she was gone, you took a deep breath and faced them.

Alex immediately stepped forward, guilt etched on his face.”(Y/n), We’re so sorry.”

“I’m not the one you should worry about apologizing to.” You said, looking towards the doors where Julie left just a second ago. Alex followed your eyes and sighed, grabbing onto Reggie’s shoulder and steering him towards the door.

There was a moment of heaviness as you took another deep breath. You realized with a start that this was the first time you and Luke had been alone in months. Talking used to come so easily between the two of you, but now you found yourself struggling to find your words. 

“We really are sorry, (Y/n).” Luke said quietly. “We didn’t mean to hurt Julie. Or you.”

You scoffed, kicking your foot against the linoleum of the gym floor, “But you did, and for what? A chance for revenge?”

“No! Well, yeah. But there was something else that happened. You won’t believe-”

“What could’ve been more important than being here?” You asked, cutting him off. You forced yourself to look up and found him looking back at you intently. 

“If you just let me explain, I promise I would never purposely leave you hanging.” 

“But you have been leaving me hanging, Luke!” You fired back, your voice nearly echoing in the empty room. The second the words left your mouth, you felt nauseous. After months of keeping those words on the tip of your tongue, you had expected saying them to feel better.

Luke winced at your words, but kept your gaze, “Hey, I know I’ve been..” He paused, knitting his eyebrows together, “distracted”. 

“That’s one word for it.” You said and Luke took a cautious step closer.

“It’s just that everything has changed so much.” He said, and for the first time tonight, he looked away, “Even before we died.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but he cut you off, seemingly unable to stop rambling.

“It’s like there’s so many things I’ve been trying to say, but I can’t make the words come out. And it all gets so tangled up in my head and I just end up saying nothing.”

You could see him getting more frustrated as he continued on. “I’m sorry for everything. For being late, for being such a shitty friend and being so far away lately. I just-”

He took another step forward, eyes never leaving your face. “I’m just afraid of losing everything.”

There was an edge to his voice, like it was hard for him to get the words out. As he inched a little closer, you reached out your hand, fingers inches away from his when suddenly he jumped back. A purple shock flashing in the middle of his chest.

Luke fell to the ground, groaning as he clutched his side. You crouched next to him and his eyes fluttered open slowly. “Ow.”

“What the hell was that?” You asked and Luke sat up.

“I don’t know.” He said, rolling his shoulders, “That’s never happened to me before.” 

Suddenly, Alex and Reggie phased back into the gym, both of them looking just as shocked. 

“Guys, something so weird just happened.” Reggie exclaimed. Alex took in the sight of you and Luke sitting so close to each other and cleared his throat.

“Should we come back later?”

You glared at him. “Let me guess, you guys also got shocked with creepy purple magic?”

“How’d you know?” Reggie asked, wide-eyed.

Alex sighed at him before he turned back to you. “We definitely need to figure out what the hell just happened.”

“Yeah, let’s go home.” You said and Luke cleared his throat, staring at Alex and Reggie.

“Uh, you guys go. We’ll be there in a minute.”

Alex gave you a questioning look and you nodded, and with another flash, they phased out.

It was quiet for a minute as you both processed everything that just happened. You and Luke hadn’t had a fight like that since you were kids, and that was the most he had said to you in over half a year. Your head was spinning with all the change.

Luke rubbed the back of his neck and you could almost feel how nervous he was. “So..”

“So…” You repeated.

Luke turned a little more towards you and quickly wrapped his pinky around yours. He gave it a gentle squeeze as he smiled.

“Truce?” Luke asked.

You nodded, smiling as you squeezed back. “Truce.”

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown @charliegillespiewife @merceret @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16 @dangerouslyclose @iainttakingshitfromnobody @givemebooksorgivemedeath @sunsetcurvedotmp3 @askgeoff @mayleenicole5676 @puppy11148 

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13​

Let me know if you want to be added!

[nightshade-minho]

-Blue Book- (11) 

Warnings: anger, stress, y/n briefly wants to murder felix, a lot of negative emotions, headaches, light suggestiveness, britney spears cameo (nah just kidding- or am i) 

Wc: 4.1k (finally a blue book part that’s longer than 2k)

Stop. Stop thinking about her. Stop thinking about how she’s probably out with Minho right now, having fun and laughing over inside jokes.

Sometimes he wished he could just dig into his brain and remove all traces of you. He simply couldn't think of another way to truly get rid of you, eradicate every remnant that stayed in his brain, reminding him how he’d felt back then. 

Years had passed, and he still wasn't over it. There was a tiny part of him that thought maybe seeing you again would calm him down, and remind him that it wasn't a big deal. You'd changed, and he had too. It was time to get over petty high school grievances.

And yet, when he saw you with Minho again...he realized it simply wasn't possible. You were going to plague him for the rest of your life, and he knew it.

"I know pancakes are a weird choice for dinner but- Are you listening to me? Earth to Chan-"

Chan snapped back to reality, blinking as he stared at Felix, who pushed a plate of pancakes towards him, a concerned look on his face.

"I was asking you where you're staying at right now."

"Oh." Chan nodded thankfully, taking the fork and digging in. He was terribly hungry, and he'd missed Felix's cooking. His pancakes were always so soft and fluffy...a lot like him, to be honest.

To be honest, he didn't quite know yet. He hadn't left his parents on good terms, and now he found himself penniless unless he made up with them. Not one to beg, he'd decided to look around for a job. So far, he wasn’t all that successful. There was a heavy weight on his heart preventing him from truly committing to his work. He found it impossible to focus.

Felix sighed, taking a seat opposite him. " Chan...do you not have a place to stay?"

He shook his head finally, his gaze on the plate as he ate. He'd already told Felix the situation with his parents, somewhat. If his perception of Felix was right, he would be overcome with sympathy.

He was right. Felix wrung his fingers, his thoughts racing. He hated seeing the distraught expression on Chan's face. The words were on the tip of his tongue- the only thing stopping him was the thought of how you'd react.

You'd be pissed, beyond doubt.

Felix swallowed. Then again, this was his apartment. You didn't really have the right to oppose him if he wanted to let someone else stay for a bit. Besides, maybe he'd be able to talk some sense into you?

How bad could it be?

"Chan..." He began, inhaling.

"Do you want to stay here? At least until you find a place."

Chan sighed. There it was. He wasn’t surprised to find out he’d predicted correctly. Felix had been his best friend, after all. He knew him like the back of his hand. "Are you sure you...and your roommate...would be fine with it?"

"I'm positive." He lied, scratching the back of his neck as Chan groaned. 

He didn't really have another choice. Psyching himself up to agree, Chan sucked in a breath and pushed away his intruding emotions.

"Sure."

***

You knocked on the door, inhaling deeply as you ran through all the different ways you were going to murder Felix in your head. You couldn’t believe it. He really had the audacity to not only invite him over, but also neglect to inform you the same.

Tapping your foot, you rubbed your forehead as the door remained closed. Sighing, you dug into your bag for your keys, procuring them after a few seconds of searching through the crumpled chewing gum packets and loose coins. You really had to clear out your bag sometime.

You entered your apartment, yawning as you shed your coat, heading to the kitchen for a drink. Your throat was dry, your head pounding with stress. Ugh, what a bad day it had been. Marginally better due to the time you’d spent with Minho- but still bad. Chan’s sudden appearance really had put a damper on everything you’d done since then.

As you reached the kitchen, you stopped in your tracks.

Fuck. You turned around immediately when you saw who was sat at the table, an empty plate in front of him as he scrolled through his phone. He hadn’t seen you standing in the doorway. Yet.

Carefully, you started padding away as quietly as possible. Unfortunately, the gods really weren’t in the mood to smile upon you today.

“Y/n?” 

His voice was tired, bare of any emotion whatsoever. You twisted your neck to look at him, opening your mouth and closing it. He was staring at you, his eyes devoid of feeling, his lips pressed in a thin line. You had no clue what to say. Looking at his face again brought back memories you’d much rather forget.

“It’s...nice to see you again.” He mumbled, tearing his gaze away from you.

‘Nice’ was really not the word. 

“Yeah. How have you been?” You managed to ask, swallowing the lump in your throat. He drummed his fingers on the table top as his mind searched for an appropriate response. You watched him, your heart clenching as you remembered the way his hand felt in yours. 

“Fine.” He finally decided to say. “I’ve been fine, more or less.” After all, he was used to lying.

“And you? Having fun with Minho?” There was a slight bite to his voice as he uttered the words, making you raise an eyebrow. Suddenly, the anger you harbored towards him was reignited. What was he implying? It shocked you that he could talk like that, without a trace of apology in his tone. As if it was you who’d betrayed him, and not the other way around.

“For your information, yes. We’re having a lot of fun.” You snapped, turning and leaving the kitchen to go straight to your room. Just read a book, listen to some music and calm yourself down. He’ll be gone soon.

Chan watched you walk away, his hands balling into fists. So you had absolutely no remorse, whatsoever. 

He bit his lip, hating the weird amalgamation of emotions that were gripping him like a vice. He’d felt envy flood him as you said it, rubbing it in his face. Shaking his head, he turned back to his phone, biting his lip.

***

You knocked on Felix's door, biting your lip in anger as you waited for him to open it. Tapping your foot, you shook your head. Why was he still here, even? He should be gone by now.

"Looking for Felix?"

You started, turning around with a glare on your face.

Shit. He was way too close to you, his face inches away from yours. All you'd have to do is lean in just the tiniest bit, and your lips would be on his...

"He went out. Errands. Won't be back till tonight."

You groaned, taking a step back as you rolled your eyes. "Okay, whatever."

Chan watched you, an amused smile making its way onto his face. He'd flustered you a little, that much was evident. He wasn't quite sure yet if that was something to be proud of...but it was the little victories that counted, right? A part of him was glad that he still managed to have some sort of effect on you, even after all these years.

"You know if it's important, you can always tell me. Is there anything I can get you?"

You scoffed, shaking your head as you backed up further, your hand on the doorknob. "This is my home." you reminded him, his incredulous sentence rubbing you the wrong way.

Chan almost felt bad for you.

Shrugging, he turned to walk away. "Not anymore."

"Huh?" His words took a while to sink into your brain, and you raised your eyebrow in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Y/n...is that any way to talk to your new roommate?"

No. No way. Felix wouldn't...

"What?!"

"Not forever." He shrugged, his hand running through his hair. "Just until I find a permanent place to stay. Until then though, I'll be here."

This couldn't be happening. The anger was increasing slowly, rage directed to your roommate as well as the man in front of you. 

Chan looked back at you, sighing as he noted the upset expression growing on your face. Did you really hate him that much?

"Look. I'll stay out of your hair." He muttered, his tone clipped. "I don't think it will be that difficult for us to co-exist if we manage to be civil to each other."

You pressed your lips together in a thin line. "Sure. I don't care." You had already planned on remaining in your room for the entirety of his stay, however impractical that would be. You weren’t ready to dig up all that trauma from your teenhood just yet.

Chan gritted his teeth, his eyes searching yours as he thought of what else to say. The atmosphere was tense- too many things left unsaid, half spoken promises lingering in the air between you. It was frustrating, yet Chan held himself back. He was an adult now. There was no space for immaturity or trivial grudges in his life currently- no, he had to stay strong. With his credentials, it would be fairly easy to land a job. He just had to speed the process up, and soon enough he’d be out of this apartment. 

So he took a deep breath and gave you a smile, turning around to go back to the kitchen. He prided himself in his decision, a small first step to eliminating his inability to let go.

You watched as he left, chewing on your lip. Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you turned to go back into your room, grabbing your phone and dialing Felix’s number aggressively.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Um, I left to grab some groceries-”

“Did you really offer to let him stay at our place?” You asked, your tone calm as you gripped the bed sheets.

“W-well...yeah..” You heard him gulp on the line. “It’s just for a few days, Y/n, till he gets a job-”

“And do you know how long that’s going to take?” You hissed, rubbing your temple as you heard his footsteps in the kitchen.

“I...look, Y/n. You have every right to be angry. I’m sorry, I should have checked with you first before making a decision.”

“No shit.”

A sigh. “Look, I won’t be home till evening. Please um...keep it mature. Again, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, cutting the call and throwing your phone onto the mattress. It was going to be fine, as long as you stayed away. The apartment was small, so you couldn’t avoid running into him, though...whatever. It’d be fine, you’d be able to hold yourself out for a few days, if Felix was to be believed. You rubbed your forehead, groaning.

You were in dire need of a nap. 

Sighing, you fell back onto the cushy pillows, curling up on the mattress. Your head was throbbing with the beginnings of a headache. You needed a glass of water, but you weren’t going to leave your room today, at least until Felix comes back.

You hated the way your heart was still pounding, your emotions a jumbled mess. It was natural, right? To be this affected? He was your first love, after all. And he’d betrayed you. 

At first, you didn’t want to believe it. There was a part of you that hoped a tiny part of Chan had actually loved you, a part that hoped Minho was lying. But then you’d asked Felix about the ‘bet’, and the guilty look on his face told you everything you needed to know. 

Of course it had been suspicious, the popular guy coming up to talk to you- a lonely new kid who barely anyone talked to, especially when half his friend group were cold to you. But the more time you spent with him, the more you had begun to feel like he truly did love you. Was it even possible to fake emotions as well as he had? Chan was a good actor.

After you left, Chan never acknowledged the message you’d sent him. Not at all. You’d poured your heart out, for nothing. It had been the final nail in the coffin, the final incident convincing you that he’d never truly loved you back.

You sighed and sat up to switch the lights off, flooding the room in darkness as you buried your face in the pillow. There was complete silence in the room for a few minutes, and you let out a peaceful hum, snuggling further into the blanket. Sleep was beginning to overtake you slowly, your eyes closing as you slipped further into dreamland. You slept for about an hour, untroubled.

That is, until there was a loud crash from beyond the door, forcing you to shoot up and rub your eyes, anger coursing through you. You threw the blankets off your figure, storming up to your door and flinging it open. Ugh, fuck this. Fuck staying in your room and not causing trouble. You needed an outlet for this pent up anger, or you were going to fucking lose it.

“What the fuck was that?” You called out loudly, only to be returned with complete silence. Standing in the middle of the empty living room, you furrowed your brows in confusion.

The bathroom door opened just as you were ready to turn around and head back into your room. Swiveling around, you glared at Chan as he stepped out, a rather innocent look on his face. Innocent...nothing like the fact that he was fresh out of the shower, naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist.

For a minute, you were rendered dumb. Your eyes watched as his dripping wet hair trailed droplets of water down his torso, down the ridges of his abs and disappearing into the towel. You didn’t even know he looked like that underneath those clothes...

“Hey. Sorry for the noise.” Chan mumbled, pushing his hair back as he closed the door behind him. “The shower caddy fell down randomly. Don’t worry, I fixed it.” 

His blank expression slowly transformed into something more devious as he shut the door. He smirked as he observed your expression, his ego boosting as he realized he was the reason you were speechless.

“I- well-” You grunted and shook your head. “You fucked up my nap. Thanks a fucking lot.” You grumbled, crossing your arms as you kept your gaze fixed on his face. “Now if there’s nothing else, I’ll be leaving.” You coughed, voice slightly shaky as you desperately tried to conceal your burning cheeks, 

“And...put some clothes on.” You grumbled before heading back. Before you could, though, you felt a hand wrapping around your wrist, pulling you back towards him.

Stopping yourself before you could stumble too close to him, you looked up at him angrily, yanking your wrist away. “What?” You hissed.

“You don’t look too well.” He said, lifting his hand to your forehead. Before he could press his hand to your skin though, you backed away out of his reach.

“I’m perfectly fine. It’s just a tiny headache.” You lied, your head throbbing with a migraine even as you said it.

“Hm.” Chan’s face softened a little as he sighed. “A headache? Do you need water? I have some pills that could help numb the pain.”

You shook your head vehemently. “I don’t want anything you offer me.” You tried to ignore the flash of hurt in his eyes as you said the words. No, Chan wasn’t the victim here, you were. What right did he have to display vulnerability?

“Fine.” Chan opened his mouth, looking like he had more to say. For a second, he contemplated blurting everything out then and there. He wanted you to know the pain he’d been living with through his years...he wanted you to know that despite your betrayal, you were all that was a constant in his mind. And yet, as he continued watching your icy glare, he knew you weren’t in a position to be amicable. 

“Get some rest.” He muttered, anger seeping in again at your coldness, mixing with the concern that was still etched into his heart.

“That’s what I was fucking doing before you woke me up so rudely.”

Ugh. God, he really did have enough of your behavior. 

“Stop being a brat, Y/n. Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you get to be snippy with me. You have no right to be angry.”

The fuck? Oh, this entitled prick- 

“I have every right to be! This is my house you just barged into, I make the rules here. So shut up and leave me alone.” You spat out, clenching your fists.

Chan felt an unknown urge creep through his being as you continued your remarks, scrunching his eyes shut and trying to calm himself down for a second. Okay, so this definitely wasn’t the sunshiney Y/n he’d once known. 

“Felix asked me to stay, I didn’t barge in.. God, you really are a bitch. I’m a guest here, and yet you’re treating me like-”

That was the last straw. You inhaled deeply, feeling your headache grow worse as your anger amplified. You’d had enough. Biting your lip, you shoved past him and headed for the front door. You couldn’t be in the same space as this dickhead for a second longer.

“Where are you going?” His voice was confused, as he turned to look at you storming out in your pajamas.

“Fuck you. Away from here.” You explained, flashing him one last glare over your shoulder as you slammed the door behind you.

Chan stood in the middle of the room, letting out a deep sigh at your sudden departure. 

What was he going to tell Felix? He’d promised himself that he’d keep it civil. 

He seemed to be breaking a lot of promises lately...

***

You stood outside of the door, leaning against it and trying to calm down your breathing, chest heaving. Just the sight of him brought back memories you wished you could bury. How could you be expected to live in the same place as him without wanting to tear out your eyeballs?

Just when you’d thought you were finally moving on, he barreled his way back into your life. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to be mature. 

You just wanted him to know you were no longer the meek little optimistic girl you once had been. Adult life has a cruel way of opening your eyes. 

Rose colored lenses eventually lead to dismay and disappointment. 

***

You didn’t realize you were going to Minho’s apartment until you reached his door, hand poised over the door to knock. Breathing in, you firmly rapped on the wood. A few minutes of silence passed, and you tilted your head in confusion. Minho usually answered the door right away, without too much delay.

You waited a bit before deciding to ring the doorbell, heaving a sigh of relief when the door finally opened, revealing a smiling Minho.

“Hey, thought it was you. I was in the shower.” Clearly. His hair was slightly wet and he’d clearly pulled on the first shirt he could find- unless he actually liked wearing 2009 Britney Spears t-shirts around the house.

Why was the universe chucking so many soaking wet boys at you today? At least Minho was clothed.

You chuckled as you pointed out the motif on the shirt. “’Oops I Did It Again’? Really?”

He shook his head, crossing his arms. “Hey, that music video is a masterpiece. Did you know it was released on my birthday?”

You giggled. “Of course it was.”

He smiled, before standing up straighter. “Wait, why are you here?”

You pursed your lips playfully. “Do I need a reason to visit one of my best friends?”

“Of course you don’t. We just spent time together in the afternoon, though. Is there a reason you’re back so early?” He questioned, placing a finger on his chin and pretending like he was deep in thought. “Oh, got it. You can’t get enough of me.” He said smugly.

You rolled your eyes, walking in as he stood aside to let you in. Minho’s apartment was smaller than the one you shared with Felix, but a lot more nicely decorated. You flopped down onto the sofa, sighing. “That’s not it.” You shook your head. “It’s Chan.”

“Oh. Him.” Minho cleared his throat, crossing his arms as he came to sit down next to you. “What about him?” He asked carefully.

“He’s staying with us.”

“What?” Minho wasn’t sure he’d heard right for a moment, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“Yeah, Felix let him stay. Until he gets a job, apparently.” You groaned, slipping off your shoes and curling your knees up to your chest. “I can’t stand being around him. Not after what he did to me. You understand, right?”

Minho stayed silent for a few minutes, swallowing the lump in his throat as he leaned back. “Right…”

You watched Minho, frowning at his expression. “Anyway, as I said, I couldn’t stay there. Um, can I crash here for a few days? He said he’ll get a job soon and move out, so it’ll be quick.”

Minho’s eyes widened. “Oh? Yeah! You can! You can stay.” He blurted, trying not to seem too eager. His ears turned a light shade of red as he watched you nod in relief, snuggling further into the cushions. “I’ll take the couch.” You mumbled, eyes fluttering as you rubbed your forehead for the millionth time.

“No, you take my bed. I’m alright on the couch.”

You opened an eye, shaking your head. “Minho, this is your home. Unlike Chan, I’m a good house guest.”

“Yeah but... I don’t want you out here on the couch alone. This isn’t exactly a nice neighborhood.”

You sat up, sighing. “I’d feel bad stealing your bed while you sleep on this lumpy couch.”

“Aha! So you admit it’s uncomfortable! That’s it, you’re sleeping in my bed. Besides, it’s big enough for the two of us!” 

Minho wished he could take it back almost as soon as he said it. “Um, I mean…”

 You raised your eyebrows, shrugging. “Uh, no, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” You sat up, a little shakily as your head swam. “God, my head hurts.”

Minho shot up to his feet, sighing. “Come on, I’ll take you to bed.” He grabbed your hand gently, taking you to his bedroom and making you sit down on the edge. You hummed in content, eyes still closed as you burrowed under the covers, snuggling into Minho’s pillows that faintly smelled of his cologne. It was comforting, and soon you found sleep overtaking you.

Minho sighed as he watched you fall asleep, sitting on the edge of his bed. He was nowhere near sleepy and had originally been planning on making some dinner before you came, but now he didn’t want to leave you alone.

Groaning, he lay down on his mattress, pulling the sheets over his body and making sure to leave a respectful amount of distance between you.

He watched you for a while, your eyelashes fluttering slightly as you slept, chest rising and falling with your breaths.

He didn’t know what he was feeling, exactly. There were strong emotions gripping his heart, most of them towards you, and yet he couldn’t act on any of them. Hell, he couldn’t even comprehend half of them.

Minho turned to face the ceiling, eyes following the tiny crack in the plaster. He couldn’t deny it any longer. 

Guilt. The heavy weight sat on his heart was guilt. Thick, all consuming guilt, that threatened to swallow him whole unless he came clean.

He knew he didn’t deserve you...not just because of how he’d acted, but also because of what he was keeping from you. He didn’t deserve for you to accept his apologies, not after the way he’d treated you. Not after he’d kept the complete truth about Chan from you.

Was he being an asshole? Chan was once his friend. A close friend, one he spent every day with. And yet he’d screwed him over.

For a minute, he wondered what would happen if he told you that he’d been the one to make the bet. He’d made Chan continue with it despite his reluctance. He’d noticed Chan actually falling in love with you, and yet had brushed it over. 

Would you still be beside him now if you knew?

He doesn’t want to find out. No. 

There was moonlight streaming through his window, illuminating the entire room too brightly. The light, combined with the remorse, ensured a sleepless night.

He glanced at you again. At least he’d have you by his side. For now...

[benjaminthewolf]

The Story Of P.O.V.: The Optimal Prison

Quick Author’s Note: Holly dang I never thought I would actually be doing this. This was really only supposed to be shared among a small friend group of mine, so be prepared for some dumb jokes/lines of dialogue ahead. And yeah it’s kinda short, but don’t worry, I have longer ones on the docket. 

                                                           ***

*The space around you suddenly lights up as you take your head off the cold, hard floor of the large, glass jar you have been trapped in for the past few hours. Rubbing your eyes a few times to let it adjust to the light, you suddenly find yourself being lifted off the shelf the jar has been sitting on and carried away by none other than the well known Tankman Steve. Steve doesn’t say anything as he takes you out of the tent and out onto the barren wasteland the tankmen have been battling in for Jebus knows how long. Then at last, he comes up to a large, white tank.*

“Captain?”

“Steve? Is that you?”

“Uh, yes, Captain. I brought you the criminal we captured, just like you requested.”

“Ah! Finally! I tell you, regular masturbation gets so boring after a while.”

*The Captain, more commonly known as just Tankman, quickly appears from the top of the tank and proceeds to climb down.* 

“Gimme that jar!” he swiftly instructs Steve as he yoinks the jar from his grasp. He then holds the jar up to his face to speak directly with you.

“So, you’re the tiny little rat that’s been tampering with our communications! You sure thought you were slick, didn’t you? Cutting us off from our supply line for a few weeks? Heh. You really did cause us a loooooot of trouble, oh yes you did! And look at you now. Our brave little soldier, cowering for mercy within the confines of this here glass jar! Oh boy, is this going to be fun, or what?!” Tankman remarks to you with an excited smirk on his face.

“Um, Captain? should I be worried about this?” Steve nervously interjects.

“Hmm? Ah, don’t worry, Steve, this isn’t a Rainbow Dash situation.”

“Oh, okay. For a second there, I thought you were-”

“I’m going to do something waaaaaay more interesting.”

“Okaaaaay, and that is my cue to leave!” Steve swiftly declares before sprinting off back to the base. Tankman watches Steve intently before he disappears from view. He then turns back to you.

“Welp, I guess that just leaves you and me! Now, you might be thinking, “You’re going to put me in jail, aren’t you, Tankman? I am a war prisoner, after all! Where else would I go?” and you’d be correct in that assessment. Kind of. I mean, honestly, with someone as small and slippery as you, it doesn’t matter how many glass jars or other random containers we have lying around, you’re going to find some way to escape from all of them! And we can’t just be constantly monitoring you, that’s completely impractical! So what is an army leader to do in this situation? Well, find some place to put you where we can always know where you are, with no risk of escaping. And that’s when it dawned on me, that I know the perfect place to house such a prisoner like you! Can you guess?”

*There is a bit of an awkward pause as Tankman waits for you to respond.*

“Can you guess?”

*You manage to strew together an attempt at an answer as your heart rate begins to pick up.*

“Hahahahah! Nope! Good guess, though!” Tankman responds before unscrewing the lid to the jar. 

*You give a small yelp as his large, gloved fingers fumble about inside for a second before he is able to grab hold of you. You attempt to wriggle your way out of his grip, but unfortunately, he has too tight of a hold on you for you to force your way out. Tankman sets down the jar before holding you straight up to his face.*

“Can you guess now? Oh, wait, you can’t guess, because I’m holding you too tight for you to breathe! Whoops! Hmmm, maybe it would help if I were to set you down somewhere? Maybe, perhaps, HERE?” Tankman keenly teases you before opening up his gaping monochrome maw and stuffing you inside.

*It was then that you finally understood what place he was talking about when he mentioned putting you in ‘prison’. Unable to conceive of that fate for yourself, you quickly attempt to pick yourself back up and desperately scramble to make it out of Tankman’s mouth. Unfortunately for you, just a mere second before you are able to take the leap, Tankman’s jaws come crashing down around you, sealing you within his maw, as well as sealing your fate. Saliva begins to wet the bottom of your feet before the tongue begins to move. You suddenly lose your balance as you topple over onto the soft, white muscle, just in time to be wrapped up and caressed by it, getting wet, sticky saliva all over your body and clothes. The tongue swishes you around between the cheeks for a little while, before shoving you to the back of the maw, where you feel your feet dangling over Tankman’s throat area. You make one last-ditch attempt to save yourself by grasping onto the large, black uvula dangling above your head. This somehow seems to work for a few seconds, causing Tankman to scoff.*

“You really think that pathetic little stunt is going to save you? Nah, buddy. You’re going down.   ….to my stomach.” he grunts to you before pushing you down his throat with a few large gulps.

*It takes quite a few before you finally lose grip on his uvie, leaving you to plummet down his esophagus, with only one destination: the tummy. Barely able to resist within the tight confines of the throat, you decide it would be better to not struggle anymore as the powerful throat muscles continue to shove you on downwards. You suddenly begin to hear Tankman’s heartbeat as you move further into his body. Then at last, faint noises of gurgling and rumbling begin to pick up volume as you are squeezed through the esophageal sphincter. Diving deep down into Tankman’s guts, you proceed to get black-colored liquid all over you as you take the plunge. Quickly resurfacing as you shove yourself against the white stomach walls, it at last settles in that there is nothing else you can do. You are a war prisoner, and this is your prison.*

“Awwww, are you beginning to get disheartened in there? Well, think on the bright side! At least nobody can violate you in my stomach!” Tankman taunts you as he sits down against his tank and places a hand over his tummy. “And don’t worry, you won’t get digested. Mostly because I’m not sure if killing a war prisoner is considered a war crime or not, but nonetheless, at least you can be happy you’re alive. Which is more than I can say for a lot of soldiers I’ve led. …….oh, poor Bill.”

*Heaving a great big sigh, you realize that if this is where you’re going to be staying for at least the rest of this war, you might as well get comfortable. You nestle yourself into Tankman’s soft stomach walls for a bit as the ambient gurgles and heartbeat continue to rhythmically pulse in your ears. With nothing left to do, you slowly begin to close your eyes as you settle in for your stay in your new, personal, fleshy ‘prison’, provided by none other than the captain himself. ‘I guess it's not the worst deal in the world.’ you reason to yourself as you begin to drift off.*

“Ah, well would you look at that! Feeling comfy already, are we? Well, I don’t blame you.” Tankman states as he pats over his tummy a few times. “Welp! Better get back to camp! I bet Steve’s started wondering what I’ve done with you right about now! Heh! I just can’t wait to see the look on his face when I tell him! That shit’s going to be priceless! Too bad I don’t have a camera around here. Ah well!” he says to himself as he climbs back up into his tank. “Alright, let’s go!” he exclaims as he turns it on and begins rolling along down the wasteland. He then lays his hand on his tummy one last time. “Just don’t let all the war noises bother you, alright?”

[leapyearkisses]

And OMG, They Were Rollmates (m/m) - Oneshot

A D&D-inspired ficlet about an elf wizard and a human ranger sharing a bedroll, and also they fuck. And there are some feelings because I’m incapable of writing porn without them.

NSFW, MESS, sneezing on people

---

Ingvar poked a stick between the smoldering logs he'd stacked in the firepit, but stabbing the coals did nothing to make the fire any bigger or warmer. The wood was just too wet, even this deep into the forest. The thick canopy couldn't protect against the north's seasonal storms. It was just poor luck that he and Aravel had to travel this way at this time of year. It was going to be another cold night. He sneaked a look at his travelling companion, who was setting up their tent.  Aravel blended uncannily into the scenery here. Maybe it wasn't surprising, him being a wood elf. His skin was the fine, rich red-brown of cherry wood. His hair was a greeny bronze that mimicked the hanging moss of his home forest. Even his eyes were camouflage, golden and catlike. In the dark, they reflected the firelight like those of a mountain lion, and Ingvar had been spooked more than once. Combine all that with Aravel's leaf-like, layered robes, and it was hard to pick him out at twenty paces. Ingvar had been trained as a ranger since he could walk, and he was jealous of Aravel's natural, inborn ease among all things wooded. "Almost ready?" Ingvar asked after another minute. Their tent was small, only big enough for two people and a dog. They'd unfortunately lost Ingvar's hunting hound in a landslide a few days ago, along with Aravel's pack, so it was going to be colder than he liked inside. "We only have the one bedroll," Aravel said, stepping back from his work. He was still limping, but there wasn't much they could do about that. 

Ingvar rubbed his own aching elbow. "Well, we'll just have to make do. Come over and let's eat." He produced some wolf jerky from his pouch and shared it out when Aravel came to sit beside him. "How are you feeling?" It wasn't just the landslide that prompted the question. For the last few hours, he'd noticed Aravel slowing down, stumbling occasionally, even sneezing once or twice. Really, it was just their luck. The elf shrugged. "I'm falling ill," he replied wearily. "We should have made camp in Boarstead." He rubbed his slim hands together and held them over the sad excuse for a fire. "We didn't know it was going to be so difficult to cross the pass," Ingvar pointed out. "And you didn't know you would take sick. Did you?" "No," Aravel was quick to say. "No, I would have told you." Hiding such things on the road could lead to mistakes, sometimes fatal ones. "Then it was all inevitable," said Ingvar. He started to rub Aravel's back. "We can share the bedroll. I don't want you to get any worse." "I think hih- that's inevitable as well," Aravel mumbled, leaning into the touch. He tucked his face into his elbow. "Hpptsch! Hh- hh- hh- hh-- haptschiu!" Ingvar chuckled. "Didn't think you'd get that one out, there." "Be silent," said Aravel, primly, before sneezing again. It wasn't quite dark yet when they turned in, but night fell extremely quickly in the forest and it was best to be tucked in and completely settled before losing the light. They washed up as best they could with a few handfuls of water, packed the remaining bag tightly and hung it from a tree, and tried to stoke the fire as much as possible. Ingvar pissed in a circle around their camp to keep away curious animals, a practice he was not able to get Aravel to join in on. Then they entered the tent. The bedroll was narrow but also a necessity. "You first," said Aravel. "You're bigger. I can fit in afterward." So Ingvar climbed inside. He was tall but leanly muscled. He didn't think this whole endeavor would work if he was packing slabs like the warriors they often passed in town, huge beefy fellows who hired themselves out to defend homesteads or hunt bandits. They all seemed to have the same hairstyle, too, a tail at the neck. Seemed to Ingvar like a good place for an opponent to grab you and slit your throat. He wore his own black hair short when he was on the road. Just more practical. 

Once he was settled, he held open the fabric for Aravel. "We'll go back to back," said the elf, and attempted such, but they soon found that the bedroll wasn't wide enough for their knees to point in opposite directions. Normally, Ingvar would have offered to spoon his smaller companion - had done so many times when travelling with various folk - but Aravel actually kept his own mossy hair quite long, and after about three minutes of blowing hair out of his mouth, Ingvar nixed that plan. Aravel had to get out again, then back in, carefully sliding in behind Ingvar, and that seemed to do the trick. It was so tight that Ingvar could feel Aravel's lips on the back of his neck, and the elf had had to tuck his arms around Ingvar's torso. At least the exertion of struggling in and out would keep them warm for now. Ingvar didn't think they would be moving again until daybreak. "Comfortable?" he asked, pointlessly. Aravel's breath was warm on his skin. "More or less," Aravel murmured back. "Good enough, anyway..." And then his breath fluttered uncertainly. "Ingvar..." "Yes? Hey, you can't-" Aravel had started wriggling against him, trying to extract an arm that was wound under Ingvar's own. It made his elbow hurt again and he gritted his teeth. "What is it?? We don't really have a lot of room, here!" "I know, I'm sorry, but I hh have to sneeze! Hah-" Aravel kept tugging, but he'd only managed to jostle them; his arm was still stuck down inside the bedroll when he was overcome. "Haptschiu!" His nose bumped against Ingvar's neck, which was suddenly moist from the spray. Ingvar shivered a little from the sensation, partially from discomfort. "...Bless you." Aravel's skin heated. "I'm so sorry," he said. "Honestly. I'll try not to sneeze." He extricated his arm carefully, finally, so he could rub his nose and dry Ingvar's neck with his sleeve. When he was done, though, there was nowhere for him to put it but back into the bedroll. It hurt Ingvar's back if Aravel tucked his arm anywhere but where it had been before, settled on his hip and chest. It quickly became clear to them both that Aravel struggling to cover every time he felt a tickle was just impractical. It was tiring, painfully jostling, and most of the time not even fast enough to make a difference. Finally, Ingvar just folded his hand over Aravel's. "It's okay," he said. "It's okay. Try to get some sleep. I'll wash up in the morning and we'll forget about it." Aravel's hand was soft and trembling lightly. Ingvar gave it a squeeze. "....If you say so." The elf was clearly reluctant, but he already sounded half asleep. "Sorry." "Shh." Ingvar settled, closing his eyes. He was tired after a long day of travel, and whether their arrangement was for better or worse, he was warm. It was quiet outside. The trees were full of the sounds of night, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He could rest. Or, well. He did want to. But even mostly asleep, Aravel was still unfortunately stricken with illness, and his breathing fluttered with every small itch. He made soft, irritated sounds. He hitched, sometimes for quite some time, before subsiding. Or before working himself up to sneeze again. "Ah... hih... ih- hih-" Ingvar rubbed his thumb over Aravel's knuckles. "Hah-- Haptsch! Apttschih!" Aravel trembled and moaned softly. He pressed his nose to Ingvar's neck, seeking some sleeping aid for the torturous irritation. Maybe every few minutes, then maybe longer, Ingvar felt a gentle, wet burst against the back of his neck. It was an experience unlike any he'd had before in his life, and he had trouble categorizing it into "good" or "bad." Finally, it seemed as though exhaustion won out, and Aravel subsided into a deeper sleep, sniffling but blissfully still. Ingvar tried to match him, and soon enough he also fell asleep. In the predawn, maybe close to 4 AM, Ingvar woke. Some sound had woken him, triggering his honed ranger instincts. A soft sound, quivering in the darkness. Aravel, he realized after a moment. He could feel the elf's chest rising against his back. Aravel was awake, he thought, and it was confirmed when he felt the elf curl his fingers tightly in the fabric of Ingvar's jerkin. "No," Aravel whispered, obviously self-directed. He groaned lightly and Ingvar heard his breath catch sharply in the dark. "Huah-- Aa" He was clearly going to sneeze again - maybe this is what had woken him to begin with - and it sounded itchy and urgent. "Aa- AA- Apptschh! Happtschuh!" Aravel's body was tense behind his, and his nose and lips were crushed to Ingvar's skin when he sneezed. He felt the rush of air, light spray, and a sudden hot wetness against his neck. Aravel coughed lightly and sniffed hard, the sound thick. Aa. Well, he probably wasn't feeling much better then. Ingvar wondered if he should move, say something... but Aravel had started up again. "Hah- hhah- hahktschiu! Ohh... Aa- Haksh! Hh-Hngksch! Ahkttschxgh!"  There was another rush of mess, pooling at his neck. Ingvar supposed he should have been revolted or something, but his brain was currently fixated on a different feeling entirely. Aravel was pressed all along his back, tightly, and he could feel the hard line of the elf's cock against his backside. Now, this was an inevitability, and something he'd experienced with other companions as well, part of the drill. But he'd rarely traveled with anyone whose sleeping interest spurred him to offer reciprocation. Aravel was sick, but that didn't really hamper Ingvar's steady interest, which had been growing since they started travelling together three months ago. And he didn't enjoy the frustrated noises Aravel was making as he wrestled with his wet nose. Ingvar squeezed Aravel's hand. "Hey," he said softly. "I'm sorry," mumbled the elf. His fingers twitched in Ingvar's grasp. "I know. It's okay. Let's come out of the bedroll for a minute." Aravel agreed, and the two of them managed to wriggle out. It was somewhat more difficult with limbs heavy from sleep, but soon both were seated in the very small tent. The air outside of the bedroll was starkly cold, and without thinking about it, Ingvar wrapped his arms around Aravel and pulled the smaller man to straddle his lap. "Wh-" "How do you feel? Can I do this?" Ingvar put one arm around Aravel's lower back to keep him steady. He rested his other hand on the elf's hip. "You tell me to stop if you want to stop." Aravel looked tired and somewhat uncertain in the dark. His upper lip and chin were shiny with mess before he abruptly buried his face in his elbow. "It's hahh fine. I... I'm fine with it." Maybe he would have been blushing, but he ducked further into his sleeve. "Huahh-- Hapkstcxh!!" His whole body rocked with it, and he was still hard. Ingvar could feel the press of Aravel's member against his own. "Bless you," he said, and kissed the elf's hair. "Are you warm enough?" "Hnngh... I'm not cold." "Is it okay if I touch?" "It's- hh hh hih- Hhokay. Aptschiu!!" Again, Aravel rocked.  Ingvar kissed him again and then moved his hand from Aravel's hip to between them. He slipped his hand under the elf's robes, finding velvety bare skin awaiting him. Aravel's cock fit in his palm and he closed his fingers around it gently, skin slipping on the beginning of wetness there. "Okay?" Aravel nodded. His cat eyes had gone half-lidded and he was biting his lip. "I might sneeze on you," he said, breathless. Ingvar laughed. "Tell me something I don't know." He rested his forehead against Aravel's. "You're paying for me to have a niiiice, long bath at the next inn we get to." That earned a wry smile. "I'd love to... but my wallet went over the cliff with my bag, remember?" Ingvar squeezed Aravel's cock, earning him a pleased moan. "That's right, isn't it. Then you can make it up to me in a different way." He nuzzled Aravel's hairline. "Can I kiss you?" "Yes, kiss me." Aravel sighed into his mouth, thighs trembling as Ingvar started to stroke him up and down. The elf tasted sweet and salty. Ingvar wondered for a moment if that's what his cock would taste like as well, but there would be time to find out later. Right now, he wanted to bring them both to pleasure before they got too cold to want it. Aravel curled against him as he worked, tucking his face into his sleeve still, catching and guarding against his frequent sniffles and sneezes. Ingvar ran a thumb over Aravel's tip and was rewarded with the sweetest moan. He teased again. "M' going to bite you," gasped Aravel, taking Ingvar's shoulders in both hands. "Please, please." "Easy, sweet one." Ingvar tightened his grip. "Ready?" He knew the elf was close, could feel it in the way he kept tensing his thighs against Ingvar's own. "Yes," Aravel half-sighed, nails just this side of painful in Ingvar's back. "Now, please." They kissed again, and Ingvar worked his hand over Aravel until the smaller man could do nothing but cling and gasp, shaking, as he came explosively over Ingvar's hand and lap. Ingvar followed soon after, although his release was trapped by his breeches. Not ideal, but he could hardly think of that with Aravel still pressed to him, chest heaving, warm and pliant. And sneezy still. "Happtsch! Akptsch! hah- HAH- HUAH-KTSCGH!!" Ingvar laughed and started to rub Aravel's back again, holding him close. "Bless you." Now the front of his neck was messy, too, but the aftershocks of his orgasm relaxed him and he found he didn't care at the moment. "How do you feel?" Aravel sniffled thickly, not moving from where he was leaning against Ingvar. "Tired. Good, but... mnn." "Let's go back to sleep. Hopefully your nose won't bother you too much now. Sounds like you must have got it out, whatever was bothering you." "I don't think that's how it works with a cold," Aravel replied, voice already muzzy.  Ingvar settled him again against his back in the bedroll. "I'll wake you in the morning to strike camp," he said, taking Aravel's hand again in his. "Sleep well." And at least the rest of the night went well. Aravel did sleep soundly until day broke and they had to move on. His sneezing failed to abate in the daytime, however, and when he began to stumble with fever, Ingvar picked him up to carry on his back, strapping their pack to his front. He'd not been expecting to have to deal with it again, but rather than distaste, Aravel's continued sneezing on his neck now made him feel something quite different. He hurried on through the forest to get them both out of the chill and into a nice, warm bed.

[braindeacl]

Frostbite | Eilidh & Miriam

TIMING: Weeks ago.  PARTIES: @meflemming & @braindeacl SUMMARY: Eilidh and Miriam find a great feast after a sudden blast of cold. WARNINGS: Lots of corpse eating.

White. It covered the streets. The buildings. The people. Everything was lost to the white. A blanket thrown down by the heavens, suffocating everything under its might. The streets and the buildings had no chance, locked in place by their very nature. They accepted their—stood brave against the frost and waited for the melt to break its hold. The people had hope, and for some this hope was justified. As the first white specks fell to the ground, many scurried away. To safety. But the specks soon turned to a pour soon turned to an onslaught. By then, the few who remained had nowhere to go. Stuck in place. Same as the streets and the buildings. But the melt would not free them, only their corpses. The first of these deaths sent an alluring perfume in the air. Calling to Eilidh. Tugging at that hunger that always gnawed no matter how much she fed, only the intensity could be changed. By the time she came upon the scene, the body’s core had turned a pale blue. But the paleness shifted to darkness along the extremities. Darker and darker and darker still. Until the fingers and the toes were a pitch black. Bubbling and breaking along the utmost tips. Lost to the ever encompassing white. 

But Eilidh had no mind for details. Death was all she saw, all she needed to see. Without a thought, her teeth disrupted the scene—broke off more pieces of that brittle body. It cracked and crunched and crumpled against her teeth. Tumbled down her throat like dirt. But filled her all the same. The face and an arm were lost to her insides by the time she returned from the thrall of death. With a new shine to her eyes, she surveyed the area. The truth of the situation becoming apparent. Others shambled through the snow—still clinging to a slipping sense of hope. Others were stilled except for the slow and rhythmic rises of their chests—soon to be like the mangled pile of flesh below her. A source of pain and agony for them. A source of a buffet for her. But confliction tore at her soul. For those who still fought against the creeping death. She rushed over to one. Wishing to grip them back to salvation. But fingers grasped that cold air as the person fell to the ground. Landing as a corpse. And that confliction gave way to the hunger again. 

It was so cold that frost was beginning to form on Miriam’s skin. Not what she expected for a midsummer night, but, really, she had grown up in White Crest; she knew just as well as any of the locals that the expected was to never be expected. So, when a freak blizzard came out of nowhere in the dead of night, she took it in stride. She ended up stuck in it, She managed to break free, one leather covered arm pushing its way out of the snow, and Miriam stood, brushed the snow off, and began walking. The effort reminded her of how long it had been since she’d gone out and fed, an increased workload as well as a desire to spend time with her favorite person keeping her from sustaining herself properly. But it didn’t matter. Miriam could practically taste so much misery on her tongue that she wouldn’t have been able to avoid it even if she tried. Heels crunching through the snow, she headed towards the source. She just wasn’t expecting the carnage that greeted her. “I suppose I’m interrupting dinner, aren’t I?” She asked the zombie feasting, an icy eyebrow raised as she moved her hands to her hair and shook crystalline flakes of snow out of it.

Silence was cut off abruptly by that casual tone. Calm like the blanket of snow surrounding—snuffing out any touch of chaos. Eilidh stopped, spit out a tooth. Not hers—the poor sap’s on the ground. She turned to meet the woman’s eyes. They were cold like the air, but untouched by it. Unlike all the others whose lives were sucked out like the previous heat. Clearly the other wasn’t human. And human suffering and slaughter was not a bother. She wasn’t like Eilidh—hunger did not compel the other’s teeth to bite and gnaw like it did to her. Curious. Her teeth bared for a moment, animal protecting its food. But the other made no motions, and teeth were replaced with tongue. It licked at her lips, removing some of the dark crusts of blood and flesh bits. But it hardly made a difference—her face and neck and arms were caked in the stuff. Not that she particularly cared. The other seemed to place more interest in her looks. Genuine leather ensemble paired with impractical heels. Her face the most evident of this interest, and Eilidh took interest in turn looking. She let out an airy chuckle. “Not really. What brings you here? Hungry, too?” 

The woman was a mess. Miriam had never seen such a messy eater, though, it wasn’t like she was around too many zombies who feasted upon anything more than animal brains cooked or blended into smoothies. And she had to assume that this was a zombie. The lack of heartbeat was, of course, quintessential for one of the undead, but the consumption of flesh, along with the blunt teeth, leaned more towards the walking dead end of the spectrum. “I suppose I was a bit peckish,” Miriam mused. “I was led here because of all the suffering.” It might not make sense, but that was what Miriam craved more than any sort of blood. She felt full, though, empowered in ways that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Mass misery, mass suffering. It sustained her. She looked at her new companion. “My, you’re a messy eater.”

“Ah. Sadist.” Not uncommon in this town, Eilidh had come to realize. Won’t find her complaining—it kept the food ripe. Head tilted at the thought, as she eyed the woman deeper. A waste of a beautiful face, though she’s wasted prettier. But she reminded herself the woman had done nothing. At least, not in front of her. Quick headshake threw that fuzz from her mind. Returning her back to herself. To the easy food surrounding. Motionless, as it seemed the last survivors were gone to the frost or soon approaching. There was a sadness. A wish for a different outcome. But fate decided their time was now. And so graciously decided the two of them would enjoy the spoils. There was nothing to do now but feed and not let their sacrifice go to waste. She broke off a finger; it came off like peanut brittle with a snap. It went into her mouth. That mouth came alive with snaps as her teeth chomped down and down and down. It crumbled on her lips, covered her in more mess. She shrugged at the observation, uncaring. “Food should be enjoyed. Plenty to go ‘round.”

“No, not a sadist,” Miriam said, and she didn’t know why she was so offended by that word. She wasn’t a sadist. The only times she’d ever really, properly enjoyed what she’d done had been killing Theo. But that wasn’t true, was it? She’d cried while she’d killed him, while the overwhelming misery and suffering that he’d felt had sustained her, while she’d turned his skin into a jacket. Miriam allowed her eyes to flash red at the woman in front of her and let her fangs drop. “Just a woman with an incredibly unfortunate set of dietary needs. Tragically, tragedy becomes me.” She looked at the way the woman ate a finger, her face momentarily twisting into something that wasn’t quite but could be very close to disgust. She’d made a mess during her own first large blood meals, but this really was ridiculous. “No, thank you. I think I’ll just take in the misery for now. I don’t enjoy blood slushies.”

Eilidh’s attention snapped back to the woman at her shift in tone. Understanding followed when eyes turned crimson, and teeth turned sharp. There was a shift in her head, a small nod in acknowledgment. “Ah, Dearg-Due.” Arguably tragic, for their name was born from it, as too were they. But Eilidh did not entirely think so—head tilting inquisitively at the revealing display. The woman didn’t share in her curiosity, face squinting in distaste to Eilidh’s own revealing nature. No offense was taken. Instead, Eilidh chomped harder. More gore bits tumbled down, as mischief shined in her eyes. Waiting for the squint to harden on the other’s face. “Don’t think there’s much left. Just the quiet.” As if to purposefully refute her, motion was detected a few meters away. Car door beat and beat and beat against the pile of snow, until it managed to be pushed away. Short, shivered gasps filled the air. Eilidh immediately sat up straighter at the occurrence, gaze locked where she believed the unseen survivor to be. Someone had managed to make it out!

A dearg-due. Miriam looked at this strange woman, not really understanding what she meant and hating that fact. “Right. A dearg-due.” A word that she’d have to look up on her own time, but, perhaps, something of import. Maybe a step closer to not feeling like she was stumbling through this wretched unlife without any sort of instruction manual. She narrowed her eyes at the other woman before rolling them and snorting, a most unladylike sound that she truthfully didn’t care about in present company. “There’s always a little left until it’s absolutely still,” she said, her ears picking up on the sound of a struggling heartbeat before the zombie’s head had even turned. With eyes the color of the blood spilled in the snow, Miriam looked at the man that was struggling, suffering, trying so, so hard to live. His cries were the most dreadful music, a delightful meal. She wanted it to stop. She was lithe on her feet and she made her way towards him, and her hand wrapped around his neck faster than he could blink. “Shh, it’ll be over soon,” she soothed, and she moved her hand, took a bite. It had been some time since she’d had blood straight from the source, and it was still warm, despite the chill in the air. By the time Miriam was done, there wasn’t much left of the man’s neck. She wiped at her face, her chin. She looked back at the zombie. “I suppose I’m a bit of a mess as well.” 

Eilidh’s feet had barely become reacquainted with the ground when the Dearg-Due made her way. Hand gripped tight, threatening to suck out his life. But teeth worked faster. By the time Eilidh was close enough to make out his features, last drops of that life trickled away. Left a red stain on the snow. Left a space for the sadness to return. But it too trickled away, lost to the fog she carried so well. Reverting to a stillness. A deep silence. Where not even a heartbeat could be found, for the two standing had none to spare. Until a chuckle broke it—brought some semblance of life back to the white expanse of the dead. “Ah. You do like blood slushies.” The other’s mouth dripped in the last of that man’s warmth—red blotches against the once spotless mold. But found herself enjoying the sight, more than before. Always an admirer of those with the touch of the wild. “Looks better. One more meal. Might even be stunning.” Like her, with fragments of bodies littering her face and chest, as it did the ground. Stained by that dark, crimson death. 

Wiping at the corners of her mouth as they ticked upwards ever so slightly, Miriam licked the blood off her thumb as she said, “Not quite a blood slushie. He was still lukewarm, at the least.” Amusement and disgust warred within her, both at the bloodbath as well as the woman in front of her. She was no different, now, really, blood on her face, a body in front of her. And she was still thirsty, so thirsty, the kind of thirst that, for once, couldn’t be tamed by misery. It was likely that the bags of blood in her home wouldn’t help much, either. She managed a laugh, though. “I think we have different thoughts on the word stunning, sweetness.” She was still thirsty. She said, “I’m not one to overindulge.” 

Tongue clicked in a baby’s attempt of disappointment. One that held no power, with a touch of humor. But the feeling did linger on the surface. Eilidh simply shrugged at the dismissal. “Only the greedy do.” There was a curious quirk of her brow, noting a strange expression on the other’s face. Causation could not be placed, but assumption was the feast had put the woman in a wild state of mind. Eilidh could certainly relate. Such a state told her to keep feeding, despite the all-consuming hunger being placated. To eat until satisfied instead of simply sated. Eyes focused intently on the recently deceased, whose flesh was still soft and tender and untouched by the stiffness of death and cold. Mouth salivated in turn. Hungry teeth had only ripped out a few mouthfuls when a new distraction arose. A sudden sound in the distance. Unknown but clearly approaching. Another predator? An oblivious local? A hunter? She hissed at the third suggestion, not wanting to deal with that ilk. Body lowered, fingers tensed, preparing for that encroaching mystery.

“Well, then, here’s to not being greedy, hm?” But Miriam was still feeling that tell-tale tinge of bloodlust under the surface, ever present but growing now. It had been so long since she’d fed properly. So long. And she wasn’t starving by any means, and she wasn’t going to complain about it, but, damn, when Miriam used to feed like this, she was ravenous. In the 90s, she’d slaughtered multiple people at a time as a result of her thirst for blood and pain. It would last for hours, only satisfied when she was surrounded by bodies. Much as she was now, but these weren’t bodies of her making. One just wasn’t enough. She heard the sound of a car door slam, saw blue sirens just ahead of them, smelled someone as they approached. Miriam didn’t think. The officer was dead before she properly arrived on the scene, and Miriam ripped her throat before she could make so much as a gurgle. This was warm blood, delicious as it soothed the ache inside her that she hadn’t even noticed. How was Miriam supposed to notice when she neglected this side of herself so thoroughly? She didn’t know. She looked up at her new companion and straightened once more, washing the blood from her face and hands with the snow. The entire altercation had been quick, so quick. Miriam wasn’t one for apologies. She rarely apologized. That was how she was raised. However, she did manage to say, “I’m not normally this…” her lips twitched, “emphatic.”

The situation seemed remedied, as the vampire charged at that approaching commotion. Reduced to gurgles and silence, a seeping redness behind abandoned vehicles. Eilidh feasted as well, hardly one to neglect the hunger. Stripping more of that first kill’s recognizability. Turned from man to meat in tattered clothes. Enough to doubt it was ever a man at all. Calming the pestering part of her mind lost to the fog. She sucked on her own fingers, removing viscera clinging between wrinkles and under nails. Nothing gone to waste. She turned in time to meet her carnage companion. Both stained and dripping in fresh blood. The other trying to hide this fact, transferring blame onto the snow. Eilidh made no such motion, almost wearing it with pride. “Should try it some more. Looks like you enjoy it.” Her attention shifted to what lay behind, the cause of interruption. Lone police car illuminated in that swirl of blue and red, still waiting for its passenger. “Well, they never send just one. ‘Bout to be crawling with ‘em now.” Head tilted at a consideration—to lie in wait for the food to come. But enough death had touched these lands in one night. And, of course, she wasn’t greedy. She gripped onto the remains of that mangled corpse—lugged it onto her shoulder. Before taking her leave, she addressed the woman cut of similar clothe. “What should I call you, lady of blood?” 

Having never really eaten with a zombie before, Miriam couldn’t quite contain the look of horrified fascination. Really, she’d never seen anyone eat with such gusto, not even at dinner parties her parents hosted years and years ago. Maybe Miriam just wasn’t used to watching other undead eat. Not entire bodies, at least, and not like that. It was fascinating, certainly, but it was also unnerving. Not scary, just strange. Unusual. Unnatural. But, then again, they were dead. There hadn’t been anything natural about them since their hearts stopped beating. “Darling, if I indulged like this all the time, we wouldn’t have a town left. I prefer to keep my meals light.” Two people in a matter of minutes was quite the loss of life, even if Miriam was certain the one would have died from the cold. The other was just a casualty of every awful thing that had been growing inside of Miriam unchecked for some time now, she’d need to be more careful. She wiped her hands off on her pants, now free of blood and viscera. “My friends call me Mim, though Miri is fine as well. I own the leather shop in town,” Miriam said, a smile on her lips. “What should I call you, oh mighty finder of finger foods?”

Eilidh’s breath rushed out her nose in a near snort. “Only if you’re picky. Find deer to be just as satisfying. Gives a better chase.” And lacked that sense of… She did not want to place a name. To those emotions that tried to surface at times of feeding. A tainting born from James’ pleasantries. It had been easier in the times before. And when she found herself with those like Mim, twins of that primal nature, some of that ease could be found. Of course, judgement had been placed on her, from that kindred companion. But now, with no sense to hide the parts society deemed too dark and twisted, she only saw a fascination from the other woman. She smiled, revealing a bit of discolored skin lodged between incisors. It grew a smidgen wider, at that fun nickname. Made her consider ripping off a dead finger and chomping down in reinforcement. “Dia dhuit, Mim.” She let out a gentle chuckle. “Guess this means we’re friends. Mine call me many things. Call me Ellie.” Sirens tore her attentions. She saw more swirls of blue and red bouncing off distant walls, but creeping ever closer. As did those shrieking sounds—building on each other into a single blasting. Arm securing her haul grew tighter. Squeezing out those last drops of blood it had managed to hold drizzling down her shoulder. “Better scamper. ‘Till the next.” And she disappeared into the trees.