#{i'M SORRY I HAD TO}

[thestarsshineevenwhenhidden]

Oh.

I knew i had a lot of things but i never expected to have behaviours common to autism-

guys, you should do autism bingo

me and my friends just did it

[churchofpossum]

[linolinoing]

♬ king gnu — don't stop the clocks ♬

[spidybaby]

"Gavi, look at me. This is not you."

"Gavi, stop. It's not worth it."

😞😞😞

[mackerel22]

Fyodor: You're dead for that!

Dazai: Do it...

Dazai: Pussy.

Fyodor: I will enjoy this.

Chuuya, getting in the way: Hey, Elsa!

Chuuya: Get your icy hands off my bottom, bitch!

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Just girly things ♡

[inprogresspokemon]

#Uhhh - Salazzle are a female-only species of Pokemon that utlize a powerful pheromone to attract and control male Salandits; competitions between Salazzle is decided by which one has amassed the largest reverse harem of underlings. If a Salazzle begins to grow, lighten in color, and develops an unusually provocative behavior, something is clearly wrong because it may in the process of turning into a Basilust, and later a Lovander. Once a Salazzle has begun this transition, is it still even a Pokemon? Is it a Pal? The lines are a bit blurred here. It's advised to keep your distance from this nocturnal creature, which will be begin to actively pursue other species to join their inner circle of attendants.

Named: Salazzle - Basilust - Lovander

This April Fool’s Day addition is featuring my artwork of Lovander, a "Pal" from Pocket Pair's 2024 game Palworld.

Happy April Fools! Previous years: 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

- - - - - - - - - -

Follow for more In-Progress… Palworld Pokemon?? evolutions!

FAQ | Social Media | Pokemon Index | Commission Information

[tsunamiholmes]

"There's a fourth one???"

[thecasualqueer]

Myriad

A ficlet based on an alternative use for myriad.

Kara lands on Lena's balcony "what are you planning on doing with Myriad?" she demands without a second thought.

Lena stands up and looks at her confused, instead of answering her she simply walks towards Kara and puts out her hand for her to shake. "Supergirl! I don't believe we've met before, I'm Lena Luthor"

"What?" Kara asks in confusion.

Lena repeats herself "I don't believe we've met before I'm Lena Luthor".

"Please tell me this is some kind of a joke to get back at me"

"Get back at you? For what?"

Suddenly it hits her "Lena its me, Kara..." she pauses a thought suddenly occurring to her "you know Kara Danvers, right?" she pleads.

Lena just looks at her blankly, and that's when Kara knows. Knows how Lena used myriad. Knows how badly she has fucked up and that she wouldn't be able to fix it. Knows that Lena has truly forgotten who she is.

"I'm sorry" Lena says sympathetically as the superhero breaks down in front of her.

"it's okay" Kara says trying to collect herself "I understand, I won't bother you again."

Kara takes one last look at Lena trying desperately to capture a picture of her face in her mind but too many tears blur her vision. She says goodbye and launches up into the air and flies away.

---

Kara lands back at the DEO still crying and collapses to the ground in a heap. She knows how pathetic she must look, she only came back to update them but is now too grief stricken to move. Alex rushes over to her to find out what is wrong. Kara wants to tell her everything but when she opens her mouth all that comes out are sobs. She feels as though she is trapped in a hell of her own making unable to find a way out.

"Are you hurt?" Alex asks but Kara cannot answer her, even if she could bring herself to speak she's not sure what the right answer is. She doesn't feel hurt, she feels broken, but that's not what Alex means.

"What did Lena do? Did she use myriad on you?" Alex questions her further and this time Kara manages to shake her head at the second question, still, even after everything, making sure to clear Lena's name of any wrong doing.

Eventually Kara manages to force some words out of her mouth, but they aren't what she was expecting to say. "I love her" she says between sobs "I love her and she doesn't even remember me".

"Oh" Alex says suddenly understanding everything she hugs Kara tightly as agents swirl past them trying not to stare at them. "It'll be okay, you'll be okay" she whispers into Kara's ear. Kara doesn't believe her but she hopes she will one day.

[greenbunny7]

[Ford] Why is it even called a cup of joe?

[Ford] Wait, I just heard myself... Stan stop looking at me like that! Stan we have the same mother! Don't. you. dare. Stan STAN!!!

[Stan] Cup a joe mama

[Ford] *dies of 1d38 joe mama damage

What Stan looked like

[thebuckandeddiething]

"Eddie and Marisol take a closer look at their relationship"

[artemis-fowl-incident-report]

Shout out to Julius on this the ides of-

Oh wait, wrong Julius.

There you go. Anyway, happy stabbing!

[01432853]

Snowfall 冰雪谣 (2024) and #incorrect quotes

[mackerel22]

Dazai: Now I'll arrange our security.

Atsushi: Why?

Dazai: The mission is dangerous and we're hot. The enemy will want us for our info and our boddies.

Atsushi: Our info maybe...

Dazai: Speak for yourself kitten...

Dazai: Now I'm calling the only man who can fuck me.

Atsushi: What???😨

Dazai, calling Chuuya: I mean, who can protect me...us...

Atsushi: Ugh. 🤦‍♂️

Chuuya, picking up: What now?

Dazai: Well hello my big dick chibi.

Chuuya: What

Atsushi: the

Chuuya: fuck

Atsushi: Dazai!

Dazai: Language everyone!

[vixstarria]

Kinktober Day 17 - Bloodplay

For every day of the month of October I will be posting a little snippet following prompts listed in this post. Most of these will not be full fics, but rather short snippets, set-ups, and, in a few cases, copied bits and pieces of fics I have already published. But, if there is a lot of interest and feedback on any of the snippets, they might just evolve into full fics, so keep that in mind.

Disclaimer: A realistic approach to vampire porn that absolutely no one asked for. TW: menstruation. This is a crackfic. Late Act 1, probably.

He had bumped into her - well, purposefully cornered her, really - just outside of camp. The slight flush of her cheeks and uncharacteristic hint of nervous agitation in her eyes at the sight of him only spurred him on.

“There you are,” he purred. “And here I thought you’ve been avoiding me.”

“It’s been a long and difficult day,” Asmodea deflected.

“Has it? Then you will be coming to my tent later, won’t you? You must be so sore and tired, I can help you relax,” he cooed.

“Not tonight, Astarion.”

“Why..?” he teased, wrapping his arms around her and maneuvering her until her back was pressed against a tree, a barely perceptible whimper betraying her real thoughts about her preferred methods of rest and relaxation.

He already knew why, of course, his acute sense of smell had picked up on it immediately.

“You already know why, you smug bastard, drop the act,” she grated.

His face split into an impish grin at her words, but he relented.

“I want to try it,” he said earnestly. “Can I? Please?”

She sighed but seemed to consider it.

“Is this something you've done before?”

“No, never,” he said. “It was forbidden.”

Asmodea swore under her breath.

“And what makes you think you’ll enjoy it?”

“Oh!" he gasped and leaned away in faux-sheepishness. "I was sure we had covered this before, but in case we haven't," he leaned in to whisper to her, "I am a vampire.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“That's not what I mean, you asshole. ...The blood. It's not what you're expecting." She swore again. "How do I explain this... It's not like normal blood, it’s… thicker. Glob-like, even.”

“Sounds delectable.”

“And I don’t know if you realise this, but I don’t just… bleed on command, it… leaks, slowly.”

“Oh you tease," Astarion chuckled. "Threatening me with a good time and a long time.”

“…Look, it’s really not what you think it is,” she sighed. “And it’s not even all just blood, it’s-”

“I know it’s not all made up of blood. You do not need to explain how menstruation works, darling, I am well-informed.”

“How?”

“…What?”

“How is it that you’re informed?”

The circumstances of Astarion’s education involved Dalyria nearly having an aneurysm when overhearing him and Petras theorising on the finer aspects of the process, and, outraged, taking it upon herself to lecture them on it, in meticulous detail and with utter disregard for their eventual protestation.

“I am over two centuries old,” he said, hoping that explanation would suffice. It did.

“I don’t know…”

“What you don’t know is what you’re doing to me,” he whispered in her ear, pressing his hips against hers. “Your scent is driving me insane, I just want to bury my face between your legs. Won’t you let me pleasure you that way..?”

“Godsdamnit, Astarion,” she breathed with a quiver in her voice.

“Please,” he purred against the shell of her ear, knowing that that simple measure would make her knees buckle.

“Fine,” she relented. “Just don’t be weird about it.”

“Sit on my face.”

They had moved to Astarion's tent at last.

She seemed to have finally let her inhibitions go, moaning and grinding her hips slowly against his mouth, her knees in either side of his head. He couldn't have been happier.

It was decadent, rich, tantalising. She had been right - it wasn’t quite what he thought it would be, but it wasn’t worse, just different. The smell and taste of her sex mixed with her blood was driving him mad with lust. It didn’t gift him the same vigour and vitality as the blood from her veins - in fact, he had a suspicion he might feel sick later - but for now he didn’t have a single care in the world, as he lapped desperately at her cunt, trying to stick his tongue as deep inside her as he could.

“More,” he groaned in between swipes of his tongue, “you can give me more, can’t you?”

"I told you-" she breathed, but she never got to finish her sentence as he expertly flipped her onto her back, and continued to lick, adding his probing, digging fingers to his ministrations.

Eventually there was a pause in Astarion's tonguework, and Asmodea opened her eyes to glance down between her legs.

“Ast- What are you chewing?!”

“I’m not entirely sure, darling,” he said, thoughtfully, continuing to jaw something. “A blood clot, I hope.”

 Asmodea cursed and tried to sit up and move away from him, but before she could get away he wrapped an arm around a thigh, securing her, and rattled off, trying to assuage her.

“Nonono, darling, it is delicious, you are delicious, you have nothing to be ashamed of, this is the greatest day of my unlife - after the day I'd met you, of course - it makes up for all my missed birthdays for the past 200 years, please just believe me, this is the most delectable blood I have ever tasted.”

She had nearly calmed down and lay back down, taking a deep breath, before he continued. “…But is it supposed to be stringy..?”

Astarion snickered as he just barely managed to avoid a kick aimed at his head. Her change in temper, albeit precarious, was, as the mortals say, a cherry on top.

My Kinktober masterlist and prompts post

[izzymarksthespot]

Izzy: This isn't over, Mr Bonnet.

Stede: enemies to lovers, slow burn, 100k words