#{don't text me tell it straight to my face || dash}

[waldau-archived]

i don't know anyone who writes wonwoo as perfect as you! you manage to capture his personality so well🥺could i please request a friends to lovers thing for wonu? you've been friends for YEARS and you've had your moments and hidden glances but this one night you're just sitting out and feeling the winter breeze together. he can feel you staring and asks why you're doing that..while you contemplate whether to give in and just confess. you're so overwhelmed with emotions for him but you're also so terrified to tell him bcos you're scared to change the dynamics your relationship has so far.

thank you so much for saying that about my writing, anon :') took me entirely too long but i had a sudden burst of inspiration after seeing the latest gam3 bo1 wonwoo with long hair 😵‍💫 hope you like this! title taken from the english version of crush by seventeen.

hearts in parallel — jeon wonwoo | 2,730 words | fluff

gender neutral reader. warnings: none.

wonwoo's standing outside your car in the parking lot of your office. part of you is convinced you're just imagining things, because he's supposed to be in japan. touring. doing idol things. having fun.

every morning you look forward to the pictures he's made a habit of sending whenever he's on tour, whether they're what he had for breakfast, or what a sleeping dokyeom looked like with a moustache drawn on his face. his only motive for doing that has been to convince you to let him take you on a vacation whenever you're free, because he says there's always something you'd enjoy wherever he goes.

it's sweet. it really is. even if you have to keep reminding him that you have your usual 9-5 that's so different from his schedules.

but it is wonwoo, when you focus on the way he's standing against the hood of your car, hands in his pockets as he looks at what you assume is the view of the sun setting in the distance. crazy how he'd sent a picture of it to you just today morning from another country.

suddenly, you fell woefully out-dressed. it's your usual work attire, but wonwoo's got his airport look on, complete with a dashing coat that you've never seen before. maybe he has it on only for today.

"surprise?" wonwoo asks sheepishly, when he catches you staring at him.

you blink once more, just in case. "wonwoo?" you ask, a little uncertain. "aren't you supposed to..."

"tour ended last night," he explains, pushing himself to stand properly. "i texted you afterwards."

you think back to the messages you exchanged last night, but they're a haze at best. all you can currently think of is your calendar you've been crossing things off of for a better part of the day.

any other time, you'd be extremely happy to see wonwoo, but today you don't feel like you can match his energy. "sorry," you murmur, rubbing your face. maybe if you rub it hard enough he'll disappear and you can catch up with him when you're a bit more presentable.

"hey, no," he says, catching your wrist as you pull your hands away. "you look perfectly fine. did i catch you at a wrong time?"

you realize you just said your last sentence out loud. "just tired," you say, proud of yourself at how even your voice is despite the fact that your hand is in his. "i'm glad you're here, though."

wonwoo lets go of your hand. "then is it fine if i drive you home?"

you look at him. he looks pretty serious, and you snort. "did you seriously come here just to drive me home?"

wonwoo nods. "straight from the airport. dropped my stuff home, then took a cab and came here."

no wonder he's still got the airport look on.

"you're a weird man, jeon wonwoo," you say, searching for your keys in your pocket.

"that's probably why we're friends," he deadpans, catching the keys you toss him.

"you should be sleeping," you say, chucking your bag on the backseat. "or resting at home. not being my chauffeur."

"maybe i wanted to be your chauffeur because i'm not sleepy," wonwoo replies, slipping on his seatbelt, waiting for you to do the same before starting your car. "it's been a while since we've hung out together."

that's true, you think. ever since you got this new job, your hours have been filled with work, and even though you're not overly swamped, you've been seeing your friends a bit less frequently than you would have liked. wonwoo included. and wonwoo's also had less time to spend with you, given how the band's been planning more foreign tours in the past year.

so you're glad you're spending time with him, even if you're not at your best.

"who said you don't look good?" wonwoo asks.

you bite your tongue when you realize you've spoken out your thoughts again — it's just a testament to how tired you are, with no filter between your thoughts and words. you shake your head, but wonwoo's not having any of it.

"i came here straight off my flight and i look absolutely dishevelled. you're lucky i don't mind you seeing me like this."

"your so-called dishevelled airport look is just as good as me at my best, so don't even start, okay?"

"yah," wonwoo says, laughing. "i don't appreciate you slandering yourself like that."

"fine, what do you appreciate?"

"you spending some time with me and not worrying about anything else."

blunt, as always. you appreciate it, even if it makes your heart jump a little. and it's not that you're worrying over anything: it's just the sudden nature of wonwoo's appearance that has you a little confused. but you're not complaining.

"by the way," wonwoo says, when you finally pull out onto the main road after leaving all the traffic behind, "i got you something."

"again? wonwoo, i told you i don't need souvenirs from every—"

"this was for your birthday, sweetheart," he says, pausing to pull something out of the pocket of his coat. "i still have your stuff from japan waiting to be unpacked."

"you're a menace, won," you say, hands hesitating to accept the slim box sitting on the dashboard. "i told you i didn't want anything."

"and i told you it'd be a crime if i didn't get you anything. maybe i would've listened to you if you didn't get that insanely expensive camera for me."

you glance at him. "that's—"

"—a completely valid argument," he retorts, reaching for the slim box and putting it in your lap. "i've been waiting to see your reaction ever since i got it."

shaking your head, you make a show of opening it. one thing about wonwoo is that he somehow always knows what to gift others. you could tell him you didn't want anything, and then he'd give you something you didn't even know you wanted.

case in point: there's a dainty silver chain sitting in the box, with the pendant looking very familiar. you take a closer look at it and realize—

"you didn't."

wonwoo has his mischievous grin on. "of course i did."

it's a customized engraving of your cat on the circular coin of metal, a perfect replica down to the little discoloured patch of fur on your cat's face.

you'd complained to wonwoo, once, drunkenly, about this really cute online jewellery store that sold customized necklaces. you'd never been able to find it again despite going through your search history and searching the web extensively.

now that it's sitting in your hands, you can't help but wonder how much time he must have spent tracking it down, finding the perfect picture for the engraving.

"i don't know how to thank you," you say honestly, looking at wonwoo. he still has the smile on his face, looking straight ahead.

"just wear it forever, and you're good."

"oh, emotionally manipulating me? is that how it's going to be?" you ask, tracing the chain with your finger.

"i don't think it's manipulation if it's your cat."

you can't argue with that. you snap the box shut and put it in the pocket of your jeans. "you shouldn't have, won," you say perfunctorily.

wonwoo doesn't respond, simply choosing to switch on the radio.

for once, you're not driving, and you get the chance to appreciate how beautiful the city looks when it's nearing night.

"you hungry?" wonwoo asks, when the car stops at a red light.

you shake your head. "not for a few more hours. you?"

"nope," wonwoo says, flexing his fingers on the wheel. "but tonight's a full moon night, so i was thinking we could go to the riverside and just hang out near the pier? if you're not too tired?"

you think about it. you get to hang out with wonwoo in the moonlight, which will definitely be a sight to behold. the way he's been living rent-free in your mind for a while now is embarrassing, to say the least.

"i don't mind."

you sneak glances at him when he's answers a call from dino asking him if he's free to hang out tomorrow, when he's excited to hear one of his own songs on the radio. he's cute, and the feeling's eating you up from the inside every single time you're with him.

he just looks so...boyfriend. he's let his hair grow out, and black really is his colour. not to mention his glasses which might just be your undoing.

wonwoo parks at a spot not far from the pier.

you get out of the car and immediately get hit by a gust of cool air, and you're really glad wonwoo decided to come pick you up today, because there's no way you would've come here by yourself.

the walkway around the river seems nicer than the last time you were here, bigger and better with more lights and somehow, lesser people. it's exactly what you need right now.

you fall in step alongside wonwoo, comfortably silent as you make your way from the car park, the relative silence amplifying the sound of insects chirping and people chattering around you.

you don't look down for a second, and suddenly there's a tiny pebble that gets stuck in your shoe and trips you up. you brace yourself for a slightly hard impact, but the next thing you know is that wonwoo's arm is around your waist, pulling you into himself.

"careful," he chides softly, rubbing your back for a moment before letting go. "are you okay?"

you nod mechanically.

"let's switch sides. the light's better here."

it's these little things that wonwoo does, that make you fall for him even more. what started off as a little crush is now a hopeless, helpless twinge in your heart that multiplies whenever you so much as look at him. no matter how much you've gotten better at controlling your feelings around him, you can't help but stare at how good he looks tonight, the moon highlighting his face, its silver beams running through his black hair.

you've really, really missed this. just hanging out with him. and maybe you miss the time before you realized your feelings were so earth-consumingly deep that it began clouding every interaction the two of you have had.

"do you have the box with you?" wonwoo asks, all of a sudden.

you question his words for a second, then remember. "yeah," you say, patting at the slim box sitting in the pocket of your jeans.

"let me put it on for you?"

what should have been a calm night out with wonwoo by the riverside has now ended up into you becoming a mess of nerves, your skin burning where his fingertips touch you, fastening the clasp into place. you can't see how it looks on you right now, but wonwoo already has a solution.

"stand here," he says, directing you to a particularly bright lamppost. "you need to see how good it looks on you."

you try protesting, but wonwoo brushes away your concerns. "let me just take a picture. just one."

it's never just one picture with wonwoo, and you can't stop him when he has his mind set on something. you give in and stand under the light and try to muster up a real smile for the camera. you succeed because it's wonwoo standing behind the camera, pulling a funny face that makes you laugh.

he shows you the photos once he's done taking them, and you're not looking at the camera in a single one. he always makes you look better than you do, somehow. you return the favour, taking pictures of him posing in the same spot.

"these are good," wonwoo remarks, scrolling through the photos. "i'm glad you got the moon, too."

you nod before you say something embarrassing like you're the moon, though. you watch as wonwoo takes some more pictures of the sky, and the life around the riverside. the restaurants and shops light up the view for you but you can't help but just look at wonwoo. he looks so serene and in his environment that you can't help but wonder if having wonwoo as your boyfriend would entail dates like this on a regular basis.

"you're staring," is all he says, after two full minutes of silence.

you hum and slowly turn your gaze away from him, focusing on the trees in the distance, trying to play it off casually. rookie error.

"is everything okay?" he asks, pocketing his phone and moving a bit closer to you. "want to go home?"

you shake your head. "you?"

"no, i'm fine."

and then his hand is covering yours.

you try your best not to freak out, but under his hand, your hand is gripping the railing so tightly that you're sure your knuckles are white.

"sorry i missed your birthday," wonwoo says, leaning in close enough that he's towering over you. it's the perfect height to k—

"it's not your fault," you say, licking your lips. "you had work. and you even called me when you were free."

"still. it doesn't make up for me not being here."

"i don't mind," you say honestly, your other hand gripping the railing for strength you don't currently possess. "you're here now."

wonwoo hums, seemingly dissatisfied. your hand's genuinely burning under his, and you resist the urge to check if it's on fire.

"well, for what it's worth," wonwoo says, turning to face you, "i hope you had a good day, and i hope i'm there for your birthday next year. like a good friend."

"you are a good friend, won," you say quietly. "the best."

you wonder if you should just give in and tell him how you feel. given you know how mature he is, you doubt he's going to shun you the way you're afraid he will, but part of you doesn't want your dynamic to change. he's so easy to talk to, and he knows so much about you, and you're afraid of having to find it all over again in another person. maybe it's for the best to let this moment pass.

"you are too, sweetheart." his thumb brushes against the back of your hand, and something in you snaps.

"would you still consider me the best if i told you i liked you?"

wonwoo blinks. in the wake of his silence you can once again hear the vehicles on the road behind you, the sounds of people around you, and maybe even your heart if you shut your eyes.

"you know," he says after a while, his grip on your hand still in place, "i've been trying to give you a chance to say that for the past few months."

your brain plays a comically loud record scratch sound. you look up at him, but he's smiling.

"what."

"i...was hoping there would be a small chance you liked me, and then jeonghan let it out one night when we were out drinking. but i couldn't make the first move because i was scared."

"you were scared? of?"

wonwoo takes his hand back and rubs his neck sheepishly. "i didn't know if he was telling me the truth or making things up. you know jeonghan."

"...yeah," you say, brain still trying to get back on track. "so right now i have one more person on my hitlist."

"whoa, what? i just...implied i liked you!"

"and i just said— wait. what?"

wonwoo laughs. "do you want to be on the same page as me?"

you nod slowly, still processing things. still not believing your luck.

"here's what we'll do, then," wonwoo says, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "i'm going to drive you home tonight. then we can take jeonghan off your hitlist and send him some more alcohol, just as a thanks."

you wouldn't even have imagined this a few hours ago. you trail your fingers along the railing, reaching out to hold wonwoo's hand again. he meets your fingers with ease. "and what do i get in return?"

"you get to call me your boyfriend. and kiss me, if you like." wonwoo's leaning over you again. it's the perfect height to kiss you.

and he does end up kissing you, this time.

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam. A potentially stupid question. Image descriptions for screen readers. Do they work the same way for audio and video? As in are they needed or helpful? I'm finding conflicting answers when I search for this.

Not at all a stupid question! I think sometimes it can vary by community, to be honest.

Screen-reader users, visually impaired folk, and others for whom IDs are particularly relevant, feel free to chime in; I'm going to ramble and you likely have more useful stuff to say. Remember to do it in reblogs or notes, as I don't post asks sent in response to other asks.

I'm not visually impaired, and I don't use a screen reader and thus am not really able to speak with firsthand authority. In the past, when I've asked, I've heard that in-post text is better than alt-text for images; even if that stops being the case, I prefer to use in-post text because there are people who aren't screen-reader users who also like the IDs. I do too, actually. And generally I've heard that video as well as image should be described. I don't do straight audio generally, but when I do, if it's a song I don't bother because the title is there and lyrics are googleable, if it's speech I like to see/give a transcript.

I like when videos have descriptions especially, because I am almost never in a position to play a video I see on my dash. If the video doesn't autoplay I don't want to hit play because then it will load with audio and I'm usually either a) somewhere I can't have audio or b) already listening to something and unwilling to turn it off. If the video autoplays it's muted, but if it's audio-heavy there's the same issue. So if someone posts a video without a description/transcript, unless it has captions, I can't engage.

There are a lot of guides out there for how to write IDs and I kind of think, based on conversations I've had, most of them are bullshit by people who don't use screen readers. In my experience, which is not universal but is relatively comprehensive, people who can't see an image often do not want a precise objective description as we're instructed to provide.

There's a great essay that touches on this, Against Access, where the writer, who is Deafblind, talks about how he doesn't want a diagram, he wants an emotional evocation.

Why are you telling me, telling me, telling me things? Your job isn’t to deliver this whole room to me on a silver platter. I don’t want the silver platter. I want to attack this room. I want to own it, just like how the sighted people here own it. Or, if the room isn’t worth owning, then I want to grab whatever I find worth stealing.

I've had people get shitty with me about putting "feelings" into my IDs, but the majority of people for whom those IDs are necessary have told me they like it because, for example, saying "She looks like she's about to commit violence" is a subjective opinion but conveys something that "A woman is standing with arms upraised and a frown on her face" does not. And if you're describing an image but there's not a ton of meaning to it, describing it in clinical detail is wasting time. A paragraph describing a fortysomething white guy and all the clothing he's wearing and the room he's in is not as helpful, on occasion, as simply saying "This is a photograph of me in my bedroom." It depends on context, which is your call to make, and the only way to get good at that is to do it.

But again: this is my experience with my readers, and even John Lee Clark, quoted above, doesn't speak for his whole community. So I would suggest that the best way to get an answer for this is just to ask your readers what they'd prefer. If you have friends who use screenreaders, ask them. If you don't, or if you don't get a response from your readers, I would do what you feel is best until someone tells you otherwise, and then be gracious and discuss it with them so you can better understand their needs. In my experience, when someone is genuinely trying to make a more welcoming space for disabilities -- as opposed to making virtue-signal attempts to Be The Perfect Ally -- they get a lot of slack when they don't get it exactly right. It is better to make a welcoming space for people to feel safe telling you that you fucked up than it is to pretend you're never going to fuck up.

So yeah, as someone who is more or less fully sighted, that's my two cents, but if you really want to know what your readers want, you know...I'd ask them. :) Good luck, either way.

[lovejosephquinn]

I feel like it's horny season, all the thirst on my dash is killing me and the Paris con, don't even get me started ☠️ I'm not sure if you have done something like this before, but may I request Mr. Quinn shamelessly railing you after the con in a hotel room, because you've been feeling insecure about all the girls he met? Or something along the lines. Please 👉👈

It's horny season all year round on tumblr, don't you know? 💀 Especially this year, the year of Quinn istg 😫

Thank you for your request @iliveforotps, I hope it's what you wanted and more x

UNDER 18'S DNI.

It had been a long day, you'd watched on from the side lines Joe interacting with hundreds of fans at the Paris con, 90% of them female and usually it wouldn't bother you, maybe that was because you'd never been there to see it properly. You knew in the darkest depths of your mind that Joe was yours and only yours. But you couldn't help but feel a tad jealous over the way he was innocently flirtatious with a handful of them. It was his job at the con to please the people that had paid money to meet him, you had to walk away sometimes just purely so you didn't yell out anything stupid; you often think out loud and that was a dangerous game in this particular situation.

You decided to text Joe, letting him know you'd gone back to the hotel room a little earlier rather than waiting for him to finish his panel because you were 'tired.' An absolute shit excuse.

Laying on the bed silently sobbing, unsure as to why you'd let today get the better of you, there was absolutely no reason to be behaving like this, but here you were.

You heard they key card swipe across the door and in came your boyfriend, mid yawn rubbing his eyes walking in and locking the door behind him, finding you curled up under the sheets, not a word spoken, your eyes shut pretending to be asleep so you didn't have to face telling him the truth so soon. Joe knew you like the back of his hand and could tell something was up straight away, it was unlike you to not want to be by his side so when he received the text and read it after the panel he instantly worried about you.

"Baby?" He cooed, slipping off his jacket and shoes and climbing into bed next to you. Joe rubbed back and fourth down your arm, leaning over you and planting a kiss on your cheek. You couldn't ignore him.

"Hi." you whispered, a blank look on your face.

"Why'd you run off? I missed you." Joe pouted his lips like a sad child, instantly giving you the puppy eyes you adored to see. You hid your smile, Joe's head tilting to one side taking a hold of you and pulling you into him as he enveloped you in his arms, cradling you like a baby.

"Long story." You sighed, nuzzling your head into his chest, the scent of your boyfriend calming you ever so slightly, his warm embrace was hard to refuse.

"How long is long?" He questioned.

"Not very. I just-"

"You just?" Joe interrupted, you leaned upward to meet his face with yours.

"I just got a bit jealous today, seeing the way you were with all the... girls, it was just a bit much."

Joe smiled sympathetically. "Oh my beautiful girl, don't be so silly, you know I'm yours." You should of seen it coming in the second his lips crashed onto yours, your mouths opening up to prolong the kiss, tongues slipping and sliding in, Joe letting go of you and laying you onto your back and caging you between himself and the mattress; the way his arms flexed as he held himself above you. You drank in his features, your boyfriend was so undeniably sexy you couldn't help but gawk.

"Let me show you." He uttered, before meeting your lips once more, grinding his hips down onto your thigh, the way they tilted open so he could straddle between them, pushing himself into you whilst his lips caressed yours fiercely. Biting down on your lip earning a messy whimper from your throat.

"Is that what you want, does my girl need some attention the way only I can give her?"

You nodded slowly, staring down at the way he licked his lips, savouring the taste of your saliva that had been left on his mouth.

Joe rid you of your clothes thick and fast before undressing himself, ushering the sheets away so you were completely bare before him and vice versa. "Mmm, nobody compares to you, you're so fucking hot Y/N."

You liked that line, it even put a smile back onto your face, without any warning, he grabbed a hold of your legs pulling you to the end of the bed, hoisting your feet back onto the edge and spreading your thighs apart to reveal what he craved most.

"It's been a hell of a day and all I've wanted is to eat this beautiful little cunt, can I?" He uttered, kneeling down on the carpet before you, his pupils dilated and clearly hungry for a taste.

"Mhmm. Show me who you belong to and who you love most like you said you would."

Joe wasted no time in using his hands to open up your slit, showing your aching clit and the entrance that made his cock throb hard below. "With pleasure." His face smashed against your cunt, tongue rapidly licking up and down like a starved animal, lips instantly meeting your clit and wrapping them around it, sucking harshly and nibbling slightly, you grabbed a hold of your tits, playing with your nipples as his darkened eyes looked up to you, you felt his mouth smirk into you, his tongue flickering over your bud thick and fast.

"Just like that." Your hands grabbed a hold of his hair, pushing him inward and bucking your hips up, giving him no room to breathe but just devour. His tongue stroked down your cunt, lapping circles around your entrance. "This sweet pussy needs tongue fucking I think." He gestured in a questioned tone.

"P-please."

"Please what, my love?"

"Fuck my hole with your tongue."

"Absolutely." Joe hummed, his muscle sticking itself straight inside you, flattening out and curling around all the ways you enjoyed, making you writhe onto the bed, you were unsure of where to put your hands, so you pushed them back and grabbed a hold of the pillow, your back arching as he vibrated it around inside of you. Reaching his thumb up to vigorously attack your clit, you were so god damn close by this point, your moans were bouncing off the walls of the hotel room, his name being squealed loudly with all you could muster. Then he stopped.

Standing up to lean over and flipping you over onto your stomach, Joe's devious smirk reappeared. "On all fours, my cock will take your cum." Joe spat onto his cock, lathering it with his fingers making him hiss. "You see what you do to me? If this isn't clear enough to let you know I'm yours I don't know what is."

"Still don't believe you, prove it." You egged him on further, ready for the fuck of your life, a growl erupted from his throat, as if he hadn't already proved it, you irritated him a little with your words and with that, he plunged his cock into your hole, giving you no room to adjust, just all of his length crashing through the tightness of your cunt. Your moans hit an all time high as he shamelessly railed into you, his fingers bruising your hips using you as a prop to fuck you harder. "I'm fucking yours, you slut, don't second guess it." Joe screeched, his head falling back and eyes rolling into the back of his head.

"And you're mine, all fucking mine." Joe took a hand off of your hip and crashed it down to your ass cheek, spanking you hard, your face falling into the mattress as he pushed your back down so it was only your ass at cock level. "Yeah take my fucking cock baby, oh my-"

Your moans echoed in unison, the way he fucked you as hard as he did had you both in panting messes, his cock throbbing inside of you almost ready to burst. You pushed yourself backwards, creating a motion of you fucking into him as he fucked into you.

"Keep doing that, I'm going to cum. Are you close pretty girl?"

"I-I-" You couldn't say another word as your walls tightly caged his cock, his foreskin feeling the benefit and his tip hitting the base of your cervix. "Yes Y/N, yes!" His hand spanked you one last time along with one last thrust and he was spent, his cum flooded inside of you and you milked him for every drop.

"D-did t-that h-help." He could hardly make a sentence, his lungs had practically given up from how good that felt.

"Tell me one more time." You giggled, Joe pulled out of you and threw himself down next to you, leaning onto his side and tickling your ribcage.

"That's what I thought." His soft, loving smile returned along with the sparkle in the eyes that you loved so much, sealing the deal as he took a hold of you tightly, planting a light kiss, the taste of you still lingering. He was indefinitely yours, but maybe you'd be a little insecure more often if that was the endgame.

[skzpixie]

Taglist: @mynameisnotlaura, @palindrome969

Kai: Hey, you want some leftovers?  Minho: What's that?  Kai: You've never had leftovers???  Minho: No, because I'm not a quitter. 

-

Chan: I drink to forget but I always remember.  

Kai: You're drinking orange juice. 

-

Kai: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?  

Changbin: Why? It was important.  

Kai: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".  

Hyunjin, shrugging: The people need to know. 

-

Kai: *pitches an idea*  

Jeongin, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!  

Seungmin, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit. 

-

Kai: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time. 

-

Kai: Twilight Sparkle was the main character because she represented the element of friendship—  

Hyunjin, tied up: PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN!

Kai: I'M NOT DONE!  

Kai: And Rainbow Dash was the sporty girl— 

-

Felix: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body.  

Seungmin: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot.  

Felix: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!  

Kai: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from... 

-

Jeongin: Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!!  

Kai: What makes you think I read? 

-

Kai: Christmas lights?  

Chan: Check.  

Changbin: Thermos of hot cocoa?  

Chan: Check.  

Felix: Santa suits?  

Chan: Check.  

Kai: Shovel?  

Chan: Check.  

Minho: Alibi and bail money?  

Chan: Check- wait, WHAT?! 

-

Han, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.  

Kai, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f- 

-

Changbin: I love you.  

Kai: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.  

*Kai and Changbin kiss passionately*  

Minho, to Seungmin: You owe me 20 dollars. 

-

Seungmin: Changbin, I don't like you.  

Changbin: What did you say?  

Seungmin: You heard me!  

Changbin, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said. 

-

Chan: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-  

Felix: It was me...  

Chan: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance. 

-

Felix: We call that a traumatic experience.  

Felix, turning to Seungmin: Not a "bruh moment".  

Felix, turning to Kai: Not "sadge".  

Felix, turning to Han: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO". 

-

Jeongin: You use emoji’s like a straight person.  

Kai: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me. 

-

Hyunjin: What do you think Kai will do for a distraction?  

Han: She'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.  

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*  

Han: ...or She could do that. 

-

Kai: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down. 

-

Kai: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat. 

Hyunjin: I’m not stupid, you know.  

Kai: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it! 

-

*Kai and Felix texting*  

Kai: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely.  

Felix: Isn't Hyunjin there?  

Kai: Yes but I like you more. 

-

Jeongin, referring to Han and Felix: Those guys are dorks.  

Kai: Yes, but they’re my dorks. 

-

Seungmin: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!  

Changbin: It's kind of complicated, but Kai- 

Seungmin: Got it. Forget I asked. 

-

Seungmin: Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend?  

Kai: Generic excuse.  

Seungmin: I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face.  

Kai: I can. 

-

Felix: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT.  

Kai: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes. 

-

Changbin: If you want my advice-  

Han: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.  

Changbin: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me.  

Hyunjin: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder. 

-

Kai, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-  

Seungmin, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?  

Hyunjin, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.  

Chan, appalled: Call the exorcist. 

-

Kai: What’s your name?  

Changbin, whispering to Jeongin: Can I tell Her my real name?  

Jeongin: No!  

Changbin: I’m… Jeongin.  

Jeongin, whispering to Himself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right… 

-

Kai: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio! 

-

Hyunjin: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.  

Kai: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?  

Han: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.  

Seungmin: Guys. 

-

*at 3am*  

Felix, holding the vlogging camera: *runs into Changbin’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead!  

Changbin: *wakes up* Dude!  

Felix: *cackles*  

Kai: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind Changbin* What the fuck, Felix?  

Felix: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT- 

-

Kai: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges. 

-

Changbin: Stay foxy.  

Han: Die lonely. 

-

Kai: How many children do you have?  

Chan: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference. 

-

Chan: Hey, Changbin? Can I get some dating advice?  

Changbin: Just because I'm with Kai doesn't mean I know how I did it. 

-

Kai: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic. 

-

Kai: Hey guys, I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.  

*5 minutes later*  

Jeongin: Kai it’s been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.  

Kai: snnnzzzz...  

Jeongin:  KAI YOUR STICKS! 

-

Han: Life is like Kai. It's short. 

[berglietz]

Seasons Greasons: A Meta Analysis based on Caspar's Culinary Palate + Return Gift For Shez's Whistle

AKA: no one should ever 'jokingly' challenge me to write a meta to my irl face. take these 1k words now

THE BACKSTORY:

May 6th, Baltimore Inner Harbor. It was a lovely day—by which I mean the sky was grey and gloomy and decided to start spitting a fine mist down from the clouds as soon as Lucius and I stepped out of the light rail and started our trek toward our destination. Our destination being a birthday celebration for Erica, which obviously made the day lovely regardless of the weather. At this point we had already gotten past the 'hello's and reciprocal 'oh god you really are shorter than i remember's, and had settled into our table at the cafe. Inevitably, the conversation quickly turned to Fire Emblem. We are who we are.

Playthroughs of Warriors: Three Hopes entered the scene, and then discussions of the Merc Whistle mechanic. "I haven't given mine away yet." I said. "Don't they give you a return gift that you can wear as an accessory to use their special ability?"

I pulled out my phone. I learned that Caspar's return gift to Shez was called Seasoning Set. Across the table, past the strangely shaped flasks of hot water and growing number of drained shirley temple glasses, N "Njamin" Von TOAmod smiled at me and said "I expect a meta post about Caspar's seasoning set on the dash by [due date]*" *I do not remember the exact phrasing, nor the initial due date. I am going to say it was 'next month', that way I don't get any of my extremely real roleplayer points docked for tardiness.

And thus, I was committed to the bit. Straight up married to it. Welcome to the wedding. The reception is catered, obviously, and we'll be serving—

Well. I'm getting to that.

THE SEASONING SET

(This is a crunchy screenshot that I cropped myself from my own Switch. Forgive me)

The details of note to me are:

Clarifying that you have matched your bestie/S-support equivalent's sentimental gift with something you "don't need" is so rude LMFAO. I'm glad he is keeping up the same behavior from his story about a girl trying to ask him out to the Goddess Tower in Three Houses where he seems to totally misread a situation and make an ass of himself by dismissing the person/not matching their energy. Really beautiful stuff.

Multiple spices, you say? Looks like I have to come up with more than one. It's not just salt in there.

CASPAR'S COOKING SKILLS

They are bad. He has a big red downward-facing arrow next to his face in the list of candidates for cooking together in Three Houses. If you choose to let him cook anyway, he tells you his pitfalls himself:

"All right! Leave it to me! I'll fry it, grill it, and try not to burn it!" / "Sorry for making you do all the work, Professor. I mess up the ingredients every time!"

With this info, I am taking the text saying "he forgets to use spices" very literally. The impression I get is he gets so overwhelmed by multi-step cooking processes that he loses track of ingredients. He does like some spices in his food and drink, though, so I will presume that the spices in his seasoning set are ones that he would enjoy putting in his food if he ever remembered to toss them in.

THE FAVORED FLAVORS

The easiest spice choice comes directly from his favorite type of tea.

Ginger Tea: "The sharp spiciness of ginger laces the body of this tea, unforgettable and brightening."

Bam. Right there. We can put ginger on the list. For the rest, I'll take a look at the dining hall dishes he likes that fall under the Spicy category.

Sauteed Jerky: "Jerky aged in the monastery and sautéed for a delightfully salty flavor. A perfect snack to go with your favorite drink."

The description doesn't give me any seasoning beyond salt, but according to the resources on serenesforest this dish is counted as a spicy one! When I think of spicy jerky (and look up a few recipes to confirm my memories) I think of a peppery sort of sensation on the tongue—black pepper and cayenne (or other hot peppers).

Sauteed Pheasant and Eggs: "Thin slices of bird meat and shredded cabbage, mixed with scrambled eggs and sautéed with spices. Invention of a certain noble."

This one gave me no hints as to what types of spices. RIP. I relied much more heavily on googling for this one, and settled on interpreting this dish as a take on anda bhurji, maybe?? (literally 'scrambled egg'. it's an Indian scrambled egg dish). Online recipes for this one gave me spices such as turmeric, coriander, red chili, and ginger.

THE SEASONING LIST

Just to have it all in one place, here's all the hypothetical seasonings I've thrown out all put together:

Salt

Black Pepper

Ginger (mentioned x2!!)

Cayenne/Red Chili (or whatever Fodlan equivalent capsacin-haver there might be)

Turmeric

Coriander

Go forth, Shez. Make a delicious spicy scrambled egg dish. Perhaps you can share it with friends for brunch. That'd be a beautiful way to bring things full circle, don't you think?

BONUS: MY BOY HATES FISH

I just think it's so fucking funny that he hates every seafood dish. Look at this list of foods he hates.

Grilled Herring, Fish and Bean Soup, Small Fish Skewers, Spicy Fish and Turnip Stew, Onion Gratin Soup, Sweet and Salty Whitefish Sauté, Fruit and Herring Tart, Cheesy Verona Stew, Fish Sandwich, Super-Spicy Fish Dango, Pickled Seafood and Vegetables, Two-Fish Sauté, Gautier Cheese Gratin, Cabbage and Herring Stew, Bourgeois Pike, Fried Crayfish

Only three out of this list don't have something referencing fish/seafood right in the name, and two out of those three do have fish in the ingredients if you go looking:

Onion Gratin Soup: "Onions stewed with white trout and baked with a layer of cheese on top. Will warm you up from the inside out." Cheesy Verona Stew: "A rich dish consisting of verona and sautéed Teutates loach. These ingredients are boiled and served with two kinds of melted cheese."

Maybe there is something he dislikes about gratin, though, since he dislikes Gautier Cheese Gratin as well. A texture problem, perhaps? Either way, it doesn't feel as prominent a dislike as his thing with fish—the guy also hates the Fishing Float gift. Caspar is a certified fish hater. This makes his participation in the fishing tournament even funnier to me: he will straight up make an exception for his seeming disdain for fishing if it's turned into a competition he can try to win. Definitely no way he was eating his catch though. Maybe he fed it to his cat friend from his supports with Ashe, lmfao

Anyhow, I'll leave off with this silly indulgent little meta here. Thanks for playing along! ilu toa ❤

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.49 What in the world

I texted Chi Chi and asked about dinner. Luckily, it was at proper dinnertime, not in the middle of the afternoon like we used to do it. That left plenty of time for a good rest and getting my head straight. I fell asleep immediately and woke up still troubled. Dating multiple women was harder than I imagined it would be. How did other dudes keep it straight? I wasn't cut out for it. Truthfully, I preferred meaningful relationships, despite still delaying one. Regardless of how I felt about everything, I had an engagement to keep, so I took one last deep breath and went downstairs to see if Dad was ready.

As we walked down the street, I saw him glancing at me out of the corner of my eye.

"What is it, Dad?"

"Ummm...I know I said I would never pry, but... Is she the one..."

"Chi Chi? No. We haven't even gone out yet."

I could tell he was relieved, though I wasn't sure why. Did he like Eleanor? Wouldn't it be crazy if both of us ended up with Chi Chi and Eleanor and lived together in their house? Ugh. I didn't get the opportunity to be grossed out by my parents' love life and I certainly didn't want to start now.

The younger ladies met us at the door with smiles and holiday cheer.

"Hey guys," Chi Chi shouted. "Happy Harvestfest! Come in, come in! Make yourselves at home!"

Karmine wasted no time stealing my attention.

"Luca! My birthday is in a few days are you gonna get me a present???"

Again, I was a deer in headlights. I barely understood what she said because she spoke so fast. And I didn't realize she was that old. Thankfully, Chi Chi saved me.

"No, he is not!" She turned her attention back to me. "Please don't get her anything. She'll have to sleep in the yard if we cram yet another thing in that room! Oh! Mr. Ali, have you met my daughter? This is Karmine! Karmy, say hi to Luca's daddy, Mr. Ali."

Instead of greeting Dad, she burst into laughter.

"Allie?? That's a girl's name!"

Chi Chi gasped.

"Karmine!! That is not nice!"

She tickled herself pretty good and was doubled over in laughter. It almost made me laugh too.

"It's alright," Dad said. "It's nothing I've never heard before."

"Well, I'm sorry," Chi Chi said. "Let's eat, shall we? I can't wait to see what you made, Luca!"

"It's just tofurkey with veggies inside."

"Oh! Well, I've definitely never had that before."

Karmine dashed through all of us, yelling, "I WANNA SIT NEXT TO LUCA!"

Seeing as I had no choice, I sat next to her. Dad sat next to me at the head of the table, and Chi Chi sat across from me. Eleanor came from wherever she was and sat at the opposite end of the table next to Karmine. What a lucky girl to still have her grandmother. I wished mine would have lived long enough for me to get to know her. My other grandparents were like fictional characters in stories I occasionally heard.

"Sorry I wasn't there to greet you," Eleanor said. "Thank you for cooking, Luca. This is a real treat!"

"I was glad to. I want to get better at cooking."

"You all can talk if you want to," Chi Chi said, "but I'm gonna dig in!"

It was funny how different families were at the holidays. Some were more formal and sang songs before eating while others went around the table saying what each one was grateful for. Others took great care to appease those pesky gnomes. Chi Chi and her crew were super casual and did none of the above. I didn't mind it, but it begged the question: What was the point of Harvestfest without observing its traditions?

My tofurkey came out good, if I may say so. Even if I doubted, all the moaning from across the table confirmed it. And then there was the cat. He jumped on the table as soon as I placed down the platter. Dad's eyes flicked toward me larger than I'd ever seen, and I echoed his sentiment. Good thing we had already served ourselves by the time he started walking all over the food. I saw the unease on Dad's face as he attempted to keep smiling while silently yelling out for help. Chi Chi and Eleanor said nothing and went on eating as if this was a regular occurrence. How were they okay with that thing shedding its hairs all over our food?? And to top it off, Chi Chi kept kissing it in the mouth! I was no stranger to fur baby kisses, but I never let Tofu kiss me in the mouth. Not even Mama, who loved dogs more than sims, kissed them on the mouth. The mouth! Really, Chi Chi?!

Apart from the cat fiasco, dinner went pretty well. I even caught Dad and Eleanor sneaking glances at each other a few times. Karmine held me hostage, and my brain hurt, trying to keep up with everything that came out of her mouth.

After dinner, Karmine got bored with me, I guess, and followed Eleanor and Dad into the living room. I wanted to give them space to talk, but wasn't sure where to go. Sitting alone in the dining room was lame, and I didn't see where Chi Chi went. I felt weird about snooping around their house to find her, so I just stood in the doorway, acting like part of the conversation but also trying to stay unattached. She found me, eventually, and pulled me into the hallway.

"You good?" she asked.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. Thanks again for inviting us."

She nodded toward the bedroom we stood in front of.

"Let's talk."

I stifled a laugh as I wondered how many women's bedrooms I'd enter that day. The room was a good size and had a distinct sleeping area like mine and another space she used as a gym. I always thought I knew the least about Yasmine, but looking around Chi Chi's room, what did I really know about her? I mean, true, she told us her whole life story on the first day we met, but that didn't tell me anything about who she was currently. She was a professional athlete, but I didn't even know what sport she played.

"So like," she began, as she sat next to me on the bed, "what's your deal?"

"My...deal?"

"Yeah! Like, you're cute, you have a nice body, and you seem like a really nice guy... Why are you single?"

It had been a while since I'd been able to mess with someone, so I threw on a cheeky grin.

"How do you know I'm single?"

"I never see you with anyone, and you accept all my invitations!"

So much for being playful.

"Okay...you got me. I am single... It's complicated, but...well, the short answer is it's because I choose to be."

Seriously, Luca? You sound like some temple monk or something!

"Well, what I mean is I'm dating, but not looking for anything serious yet," I added.

She nodded.

"That doesn't sound so complicated."

If I told her the long version, maybe she wouldn't think so.

"What about you?" I asked. "What's your deal?"

"I'm kinda the same, I guess. I'm in my fun era right now. Ha ha! My husband was my first love and I'll always miss him, but we met and got married really young and Karmine came soon after. I loved our little family, of course, and I regret nothing, but I never really got a chance to live and discover myself, you know? So...yeah! For now, I just want to meet and mingle with as many sims as I can so when I'm ready to settle down again I don't have any shoulda coulda wouldas. I want more kids, so a serious relationship is definitely in my future. Just not yet."

It amazed me how many words could come out of her and Karmine in mere seconds. They never breathed!

"Now that we got that out of the way, you still owe me a date," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

I laughed.

"I do owe you a date."

I wasn't sure if I could ever get the image of her making out with the cat out of my head, but hopefully we'd still have fun...without kissing.

🤣

In Chi Chi and Eleanor's defense...

Let me tell you about this cat lol. (mini EA rant incoming!) This cat REALLY had to poop. Like, he had to go so bad, he risked everything and walked all over our dinner constantly! Luca would shoo him but he would not budge! He meowed and meowed and meowed...the poor thing was probably in pain he had to poop so much. So I finally investigated the house to see why this cat wouldn't leave us alone. The house has no litter box!! Why would EA create a household with a pet and place them in a house with no facilities? Like...really?? I'm so tired of them doing stuff like this.

Kitty kisses are brought to you in part by overlapping animations lol.

[honeydew-sillies]

"Takenaka's Cure for Boredom"

A Mob Psycho tickle fic !!

word count: 2,446

a/n: I've had this sitting for around almost done for a bit and figured I'd cut it off where I did so I could finally post it! Will hopefully write a sequel eventually... no promises. Shoutout to these two for being my favorite ever. Next on the agenda is Takeritsho... mwahahaha !!

warnings: none aside from light swearing!

☆☆☆

"D-don't!"

Momozo felt the sly grin on his face grow ever so slightly larger. Across from him sat Kageyama Ritsu, both sitting on the latter's bed.

They had been doing their individual homework together the whole afternoon, Momozo texting the other that his weekend tennis practice had been called off. Well, "doing homework;" it was more so Ritsu trying and failing to get Momozo to pay attention to anything other than his phone, and in turn also getting distracted.

(He didn't normally have too much of an issue focusing, but it wasn't Momozo's fault the kid never took any breaks.)

The distraction currently being the way Momozo had confidently stated "I'm bored," before setting his phone down, shooting a glance at the younger boy sitting next to him on the bed, and slowly bringing his hands up as "claws," inching in Ritsu's direction. As he seemed to have made a very ANNOYING habit of doing recently.

"Don't what?"

"Do not tickle me! Takenaka I swear to god-"

As selfish as it may have been, Momozo always relished in how skittish he could get the "Mr. Student Council, Straight A's, Mature and Serious Pretty Boy," which was a facade that he had seen through almost immediately. And not because of his telepathy. Ignoring the part of his brain that groaned at how grossly cheesy it was, the older boy enjoyed being able to see this side of Ritsu.

"Okay, so you're telling me that you really do not want me to tickle you? Is that right?"

The brunette bit back a fond laugh as he watched Ritsu squirm ever so slightly. He noted the small smile that the other was trying very hard and failing to bite down, the way his cheeks were already a lovely shade of pink, and how he was very clearly hesitating in confirming that he most definitely did not want to be tickled right now. Momozo quirked up an eyebrow as if to say ‘I know you’re lying.’ He did that often.

This kid was so easy to read it was almost annoying at times. Almost.

"Hey! N-no fair, you can't use your telepathy, that's cheating!"

Momozo barked out a laugh, grin widening. Normally, he would've grown irritated at the accusation; but with Ritsu, it was far too much fun messing with him for Momozo to be angry. Poor kid just gave himself away, too.

"How many times do I have to remind you, I'm not using my powers. People can say a lot with their eyes and body language. Plus you’re, like, super easy to read."

He watched Ritsu swallow as the boy realized his mistake, once again floundering for any attempt at control over the situation. If Momozo didn't immediately shut down the train of thought, he probably would've said it was cute. Gross.

"W-wait, but my eyes were-"

"Saying that you want me to tickle you? Yeah, I picked up on that."

Growing impatient, Momozo dashed forward on the mattress while Ritsu was still taken aback from the "matter-of-fact" statement. The shorter of the two let out a yelp, scrambling to get away from his assailant, but to no avail. Not only had Momozo had a head start, but he was also just a tad stronger than Ritsu due to his practicing for club and his height. …At least Ritsu liked to tell himself that.

Momozo put on an innocent smile at the friend underneath him; Ritsu's head had found its way to his pillow on the way down, with Momozo resting his hands on either of Ritsu's sides as he kneeled next to him, towering over him just enough to keep him in place. And as much as a show the raven-haired boy made of squirming around, it was clear to both of them that he really wasn't trying to get away. Plus, if he did want to, he had the strength to do so at any time.

"Takenaka!" Ritsu very nearly whined, biting his lip as the wobbly smile on his face became more prominent.

"Mmhm?"

Ritsu threw Momozo what was apparently supposed to be a sharp glare, though there was no clear malice behind it. Embarrassment, maybe, but not anger.

This was so unfair. It was so… childish. Definitely not something a serious, mature and perfectly ordinary middle schooler would spend time doing. So why, Ritsu asked himself, was his stomach filled with a buzzing excitement? Why did he already feel the giggles bubbling up in his chest, and why was it fun? Why was he having fun?

Normally, the only person who could ever get away with and actively tickled Ritsu was his older brother, Shigeo. And occasionally Sho, which was becoming more common, though that was embarrassing just to think about. Momozo has been a… new addition to Ritsu’s “I actually enjoy your company more than an acquaintance” list.

Which had, once again, somehow turned into his “you’re allowed to tickle me without getting telekinetically slammed into a wall (on purpose)” list.

What’s worse was Momozo’s telepathy; it had unintentionally caused Ritsu to allow himself to be more honest with the brunette, which meant not being able to keep up his totally serious and responsible front all the time. The invisible threat of his thoughts and emotions being free to read created a nervousness in Ritsu, making him state more things outright instead of trying to cover them up like he normally would.

Which also meant revealing a more playful side not often seen by anyone, other than his older brother and family.

Hence the situation at hand.

“L-let me go!”

Speaking of telepathy, the more excited a person got usually meant the louder their thoughts got, both subconscious and not. And esper’s thoughts tended to stand out more to Momozo’s hearing in general, though he wasn't sure why. Probably some sort of weird power energy thing.

At least he wasn’t doing it on purpose when he heard ‘Oh my god just do it already this is awful this is so embarrassing he's so-’

“You could very easily get away if you wanted to, Kageyama.”

Ritsu let out an indignant growl. It was anything but intimidating.

He flusteredly spat out, “You’re so annoying!” and what Momozo also hears is ‘Please don’t make me admit it-’

He sighed almost fondly; he had been pretty mean, what with knowing how much anticipation got to the other boy. Maybe it was time to do what he had actually planned to after getting bored with his phone and work…

Ritsu let out another squeaky yelp as he finally felt the hands around his sides squeeze firmly, the hypersensitivity from being on edge having built up to the point where he couldn’t stop the first surge of laughter to cascade from his lips. It was slightly high-pitched, but still boyish and sporadic and somehow so perfectly Ritsu.

But if there's something else that is most definitely Ritsu, it’s being stubborn as all hell when he feels like it. So, instead of fighting back (which Momozo would make a point of bringing up later), the younger boy smacked a hand over his smiling mouth, muffling his laughter as he instinctively squirmed away from the fingers kneading into his sides once more. He tried weakly to roll from side to side in an attempt to dodge Momozo’s hands, which followed him no matter where he went.

“Aw c’monnnn, it’s no fun if you don’t laugh…”

Ritsu shook his head, shoulder bouncing ever so slightly with the laughter that was being held back.

Okay, new tactic, then.

Momozo took a moment to focus more than he had been previously, staring at the boy underneath him with a menacing grin as he projected his own thoughts:

‘I know you want to laugh. Come on come on come on just laughhh you are so boring-’

Ritsu jumped from the startle (he would never quite get used to that power), and let out a few muted giggles behind his hand, narrowing his eyes at the other boy as if to challenge him. He thought back, loud and clear,

‘Eat shit-’ Before very clearly stifling a laugh at whatever look just crossed Momozo’s face.

“Alright, jackass. If you want to be like that then…"

At first glance, most if not all people would not expect Takenaka Momozo to be a “playful” individual; he was cocky when comfortable, sure. Stand-offish, socially anxious, and hardly ever outright playful. In the same way the telepath was allowed to see a realer version of Ritsu, Ritsu was shown a different side of the former as well. And, in all honesty, he regards this fact fondly.

…Except right now.

The raven-haired boy only had time to exclaim a quick “NO!-” before he fell into louder laughter, audible even behind the hand clasped over his mouth. The cause of this laughter of course being the fingers that were once kneading into his sides moving to massage his lower ribs instead; even being so kind as to pay special attention to the sweet spot between the two lowest ribs, causing Ritsu to arch his back upwards and let out what could only be considered a squeal. His face was most definitely burning up now.

“Wow, was that a squeal dude? Forgot how ticklish you are…” Momozo noted nonchalantly, the teasing lilt in his normally aloof voice driving Ritsu mad.

“Shuhut UP! I’m nohot even thahat- NAHA-!”

Whatever Ritsu was about to say was very rudely interrupted by another even higher-pitched round of laughter. Momozo was quick to disprove Ritsu’s claim by turning back and squeezing one of the latter’s knees; he narrowly avoided being kicked while Ritsu’s torso leapt forward instinctively before falling back against the bed. His body had very nearly gone limp, as it did when worse spots were targeted.

Ah, right, he really didn’t have much of a tolerance to strong tickling. Momozo smirked.

“Not even that huh? Didn’t catch that.”

“OKAY OKAY OKAHAHAY IHI’M SORRY! TAKE! SHIHIHIT-”

The slip of the nickname went unnoticed by the laughing boy, and if Momozo’s chest fluttered just the tiniest bit, he ignored it. Instead, he opted for being nice enough to move from the bad spot, bringing his hands up to skitter his short nails over Ritsu’s stomach through his unfortunately thin long sleeve t-shirt.

Ritsu fell into a fit of incredibly bubbly and distinguishably not serious giggles, legs instinctively kicking as he shot his hands out to hold Momozo’s wrists now that the dam of laughter had already been broken. However, that was more so to steady himself than to really fight back, and both boys knew this; it was already too late for him to put up a fight, and he was definitely laughing too hard. Ritsu naturally refused to acknowledge this. Momozo, on the other hand…

“Stohohop looking ahat me like- like thahahat!”

“What’re you gonna do? Push my hands away?”

"Shuhut UHUHUP!"

"Hm, that was kind of rude." Momozo responded calmly as he casually massaged the small bit of pudge Ritsu always had on his tummy that he "definitely should have grown out of." Not that he had time to think about that currently, though, considering the endless waves of giggling laughter that made it hard for him to form any coherent sentences.

The brunette continued to attack his friend’s stomach with no signs of letting up any time soon; he switched unpredictably between squishing around the softer area and spidering his fingers, sneaking his hands just the tiniest bit under the end of Ritsu’s now rumpled up t-shirt to scribble over the spot just beneath the shorter boy’s navel. A spot that, without fail, always made him kick and hiccup-laugh like there was no tomorrow.

At this point, Ritsu's thoughts had turned into a sort of jumbled and mostly incoherent mess, which wasn't anything foreign to Momozo. Sometimes thoughts were less of… thoughts, and more so feelings. And the only intense feeling radiating off of Ritsu was 'It tickles it tickles it tickles so BAD-'

The ticklish shocks running through Ritsu’s body were the only thing he could focus on as he shook his head back and forth, feeling how his cheeks were burning up and how the butterflies in his stomach just refused to let up. It was like an unbearable but pleasant electricity coursing through his nerves, starting at his stomach and spreading through his body before all collecting at one point in his chest; the place where the uncontrollable laughter flowed freely from his mouth.

Despite his brain’s natural reactions to the sensations, Ritsu really didn’t mind the feeling. In all honesty, he quite enjoyed being tickled; it allowed for a certain sense of vulnerability he had always had a hard time showing, a way for him to feel comfortable enough to laugh and smile freely. Though his stamina could only last so long, especially as someone who isn’t fully used to being tickled.

The younger boy didn’t seem to notice at first that the ticklish sensations on his stomach had ceased, catching his breath as he let out the rest of his breathy titters.

After a moment, Ritsu glanced up and made eye contact with Momozo, who to anyone else would have seemed bored; but Ritsu wasn't anyone, and caught the small smile still resting on his lips, likely mirroring his own unconscious one. A smile he quickly tried to cover up by glaring daggers at the boy above him.

What he would've give to wipe that stupid smile away with-

"You good?" Momozo asked, thankfully cutting off wherever that train of thought was headed.

Ritsu broke the eye contact bashfully, needing to look at anything other than the stupid genuine expression on the boy leaning over him because that's embarrassing and this is embarrassing.

Speaking of embarrassing, he quickly pulled his hands away from around Momozo's wrists, opting to cross his arms instead and pretend he didn't look like a toddler pouting at the moment.

"Alright, solid answer."

"So are you going to get off of me now, or what?"

"Dunno." Momozo shrugged. Ritsu bristled.

"What do you mean you don't know??"

"Do you want me to?"

"...You're a jerk."

The brunette couldn't help but chuckle. While his boredom had most definitely been cured, he knew they were both having far too much fun to go back to focusing on homework anyway. Well, Ritsu probably could, 'Like the nerd he is.' Momozo noted to himself.

He was pulled away from those brief thoughts by Ritsu's suddenly much less flustered tone of voice (which definitely couldn't be good) as he asked,

"Hey Takenaka."

"...'Sup?"

Ritsu grinned.

"I'm bored."

In the moment it took the latter to realize what Ritsu was getting at, he was already too late.

[casspurrjoybell-26]

Too Old For This - Chapter 8 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Unlike Zachary, Avery didn't look racially ambiguous.

Many people would pin her as black... or at least half-black.

She had relatively curly, dark 4A hair, a broader nose, full lips and darker skin than Zachary.

She was standing by the door now with an inquisitive look on her face.

The red lipstick she had on was a little smudged from her nibbling habit.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked after a while of silence, moving away from the door before walking over to the bed.

She didn't take a seat... she just hovered about before focusing her gaze on the cat on the bed.

"A friend," Zachary mumbled, folding his legs.

"We met when you were away."  

"Oh, I see," his sister said, nodding her head.

She had on a sleeveless blouse and jean trousers head could only be described as 'mum jeans.'

Avery looked so different from him.

They'd been separated a few times as kids by teachers and coordinators because they simply didn't believe that they were siblings.

It was also a headache for his parents, who coincidentally didn't look like either of them if you didn't look hard enough.

They had the same parents but funny things could happen when both your parents were mixed race.

Zachary looked like he could pass as anything from Jewish, Romani, Indian, middle eastern and depending on how far someone was going to stretch the definition of black... maybe that too.

"Why are you home?"  

It felt weird to say but he hadn't been expecting her to be back for another week or so.

Heck, he'd been expecting her to make some excuse as to why she had to stay at her boyfriend's place some more.

She didn't even send a text or anything, just appeared out of nowhere.

Avery shrugged.

"Mum asked me to come and check up on you..." she trailed.

"Physically, not just call you," she mentioned, gesturing to herself.

"I'll be here for a few days to make sure there's some stuff to eat and that you're okay."

Zachary nodded.

He hated the way his sister... well, everyone except Leroy spoke to him like an infant they were babysitting.

He could be mad about it but honestly, the most he felt these days was a dash of shame.

He hated burdening them and needing all this attention at his age.  

"Okay, I'll be heading to my room now," his sister said.

"And maybe you can tell me a bit about your friend later. How did you meet?"

Zachary bit his bottom lip.

"He came to see the cats, then we got talking on the porch."

"I see," his sister mumbled, nodding her head.

She seemed to be contemplating if that was a good or bad thing.

"Err, he might come over tomorrow," Zachary added.

"To see the cats."  

"To see the cats?" she sounded doubtful.

"Yes."

"It's better you tell me if I need to not be here when he's here because I assure you, I'll be hearing everything from my room."

His sister sighed.

"You know you're thirty years old, you don't need a reason to meet a hookup."

Zachary felt all the blood run out of his face as his mouth hung open at his sister's words.

"That's not..." he paused, blinking rapidly.

"For fuck's sake, Avery, he's straight, don't make it weird."

His sister laughed, raising her hands as she backed up to the door.

"Whatever you say."

She was the first person to figure out Zachary was gay.

Well, there wasn't much he could do to hide it since everyone around him was handling his affairs and they were constantly only a few clicks away from his photo album and search history.

Zachary was pretty sure the first few times he'd been 'caught' it had been questionable fanfiction artwork and search terms.

Though, he wondered if his sister genuinely thought he had any sex.

It wasn't like he ever left the house or did anything to socialize.

Well, he supposed he thought he could meet people on Grindr or something.

She did meet her boyfriend on one of those dating apps.

"It's good to see you. Call me if you need anything. I'm just upstairs," his sister said, opening the door before slipping out and leaving Zachary by himself.

The man stared at the door a little too long after his sister left before looking down at his phone and texting Leroy the news.

Message to: Leroy.

You can come over tomorrow. I just confirmed.

FRI, 9:46 PM.

[ambassadorarlert]

toxic!armin head canons

author’s note: this fr has been a long time coming. it took a while to gather my thoughts lmao. he can’t be sweet all the time, right??😭

warning: modern au. toxic characteristics — obsession, jealousy, possessiveness. gaslighting.

18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

we're not gonna look away from armin's whole underlying character trait of being a known manipulator. he is going to gaslight you.

armin starts his mind games as a last resort. when he's desperate to have his way. when he's being back into a corner, and you're holding your ground in an argument or disagreement. when you're winning and he's losing. he'll play into his unfortunate-baby face-sweet-boy persona and say, "i'm only telling you/doing this because i love you!" armin slaps, "I don't know what you want me to do." at the end of most arguments because he knows it will make you quit arguing out of pure frustration.

we can all agree armin goes through your phone

he immediately clicks on iMessage to see who you’ve been texting. snoops through everything. pictures, contacts, notes. all of it. armin goes all up in your private dm’s, discord, looks through your snapchats. who you’ve been sending tiktoks to. he’s so extra, he even scrolls on your social media timelines. your dash. your fyp. just to see what you’re always looking and giggling at bc who is making you laugh if it’s not him ? arminknows he won’t find anything and that you would never do anything behind his back. but he looks anyway and holds his breath just in case. and, if he does find something he doesn’t like, he will confront you about it and not even address the bigger question

major attachment issues. in bold, italics and regular size font.

the root cause being his parents died when he was really young and was only raised by his grandpa who worked all the time. /: armin definitely has mommy issues. he's very anxious to pleasure you and do everything you want him to bc a.) he's hopelessly devoted to you b.) for some reason he think it'll make you love him more. armin will get really attached to you after the first date, and everything in your relationship moves quickly. he says i love you first. 3 months into the relationship you’re moving in together. engaged after 1 year, married 6 months later. he’s sensitive and in tune with everything you’re doing and feeling and saying. the slightest change in your voice, oh you must be mad at him. when you're literally just tired and have 0 energy, he must be annoying you. armin needs regular reassurance and validation. he will straight up ask “do you still love me?” at least once a day.

armin gets jealous so. so easily.

armin thinks he's not good enough for you and that you deserve someone who can do the things he can't, while simultaneously not being able to bear the thought of you being with another man. he views other guys as a threat and is off-putting on purpose. he goes through your followers and interactions daily and reports guys who leave compliments and thirsts. he gives guys dirty looks when he see's them obviously looking at you. will ask trap questions like "would you still be with me if you could start your life over?" armin is well liked among your girlfriends but makes no effort with your guy friends, and has succeeded in distancing you from a few of them. he disguises ultimatums as open communication. armin's jealousy is a delicate spectrum.

he's very possessive of you.

you're his everything and he wants everyone to know that. you're so gorgeous, he's not gonna hide you away. armin recognizes that you're your own person, and you can show off however you'd like. as long as he's somewhere in the background. he encourages that you tag him in all your posts. he fights for his life trying to convince you to let him come with you while you go out with your friends and he wins most of the time. but when he has to stay home, he stays up and waits for you, he double/triple texts and asks when you'll be home even though you made a point to give him a timeframe. and don't even be 5 minutes late because armin already has seventy-five questions lined up. if he's feeling extra silly, he'll start a fight over text. 🤪

2023. do not copy or repost any work by arlertwitch on any other platform. violators will be prosecuted. 🪼 — @artsyblkblocked / @sleazymac-n-cheesy / @arlerts-angel / @chiinni / @aegonslawyer / @stoned-eren /

[hidingourstruggles]

#1: Guilt

"Well, that's all for class today. Make sure to finish reading the textbook section for tomorrow so we can discuss it in groups." Mrs. Emerson announces as she strides out the room.

My heart dreads as everyone starts filing books into their bags and bustling into the busy hallways. Don't get me wrong. I'm as eager as they are to leave this classroom. It's what comes next that seems to be keeping my bum on the chair. 

"Why aren't you packing up? Stacy's already there waiting for us."

I look at Liz, her slender body in her tight, ribbed top and light blue skinny jeans, texting away as she taps her foot impatiently. 

"On it," I murmur as I slide my chair back and look down at my gray sweatpants.

"Could you go any slower" she states as I get up and swing my backpack across my overfit hoodie. 

I trudge along the hall that inconveniently seems shorter than usual as I rack my brain to think of any excuse to avoid the coming situation. Unfortunately, I've already used up all my excuses this week, so today, I have no way out. 

It's okay, I tell myself. It's fine.

Discomfort engulfs my face as we enter the cafeteria, but I push my emotions down and smile as Stacy rushes towards us. I can't help but notice how good her body looks in her mini skirt and cropped cardigan. 

"Hurry up. I'm starving," Stacy exclaims as she loops her arms into ours and drags us to the line of students. 

I pick up my tray and pause for a second while I scan the food.

" You better not pick at a salad again, Emily. They even have your favourite pasta today." Liz nags as she and Stacy pile their plates up. 

I force a smile on my face before stating as if it's obvious, "of course I'm going for the pasta." I hesitate, not long enough for them to notice, before I scoop some on my plate, spreading it out to make the portion look bigger than it actually is before taking a seat across from them. 

Okay, I skipped breakfast and only had one meal yesterday. This should be fine. After school, I'll go to the gym and run for an extra 30 minutes. Eating lunch is normal, not something to feel guilty about. 

"Emily? Hello?" Stacy waves at my face, breaking me out of my thoughts. 

"Why aren't you eating? Don't bring up some diet nonsense because you're so skinny you gotta eat up!"

"Yea Emily, you don't even need to diet. I would die for your body!" 

I try hard not to frown at the irony. Stacy and Liz are the epitomes of perfect bodies. They would never understand how I feel having to go around with them. It takes every nerve in my body to push down a scowl and keep a straight face so that they don't notice my discomfort. I pick at my pasta a bit before shoving some into my mouth. My stomach starts to squeeze as guilt floods over me. I ingest some more before I can't take it anymore. I need it out. 

"Where are you going?" Stacy asks as I get up from my seat.

"Just gotta run to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

I slowly turn and fake a calm walk out of the cafeteria. Right when I'm out of their site, I dash to the washroom and barge into an empty stall. I stick my finger as far back as I can before I double up over the toilet and release all the junk from inside. Relief falls over me, quickly followed by shame.

It's okay, they don't know, nobody knows.

[mariana--diaz]

So maybe Mariana had a habit of taking the bus from the south side into the north side a handful of days out of the week just so she could go on a five mile run through the bougie neighborhoods. So what if she made sure to wear her tightest biker shorts and sports bra with paper thin windbreak that, while baggy, did nothing to hide her curve and mass amount of exposed skin she was showing, especially when tied around her waste. If you asked her why she spent at least eight hours a week this way, she’d lie and tell you that North Normal was just nicer scenery. That the streets were perfectly paved and she didn’t have to worry about tripping over cracks or pot holes. The real reason, of course, was to see what middle aged eyes she could catch. These men just need a hot girl to flirt with them while collecting the news paper or mowing their lawn and suddenly she was getting a new laptop after going out on a few dates.

That was the plan for today, but plans changed. The second she laid eyes on Harvey Vance, Mariana could feel her blood boil. The boy and his picture perfect group of friends that had rejected her all those years ago. Maybe she thought his friends deserved what happened to them. Maybe it was karma. But it was Harvey who had got off easy, and she was going to make damn sure he got what he deserved.

It was the giant dog he was walking that was her way in. Putting on the perfect excited face, Mariana jogged over to the two and immediately made sure to lock eyes with Harvey. Of course her attention quickly went to the dog, but she made sure to pay attention to their owner as well. She had a plan, and part of it meant she had to make sure Harvey Vance wanted her. “Oh my gosh! What an adorable dog! Can I pet him?” She asked, leaning over, allowing Harvey to get a look at the girls if he so chose. She played it off as letting the dog sniff her hand though. She knew what she was doing.

“Hey, I know you right? You go to normal high?” Pretend like you don’t have a vendetta against him, that you’re just one of the girls at his school. That was crucial. 

@juniordeputyvance​

[marianaxdiaz]

“No, I mean it! Your arms are like, some of the biggest I’ve ever seen.” She batted her eyes at the senior boy, seductive smile on her lips as she slowly let her hands run over his bicep. While Mariana’s escapades recently ended with her in a euphoria, bloody bliss, the blonde had no intention to feed on the football player in front of her. No, she truly just wanted to sleep with him. Blue eyes, a sharp jawline, son of some rich car dealer. He was the boy every girl dreamed of going on a date with, the one you swoon over in the halls. 

Mariana had secretly lusted over him since her freshman year, and when she was gifted this incredibly body, she made sure to put in some groundwork so he’d notice her. Looking at him long enough in the halls that’d he catch her eye, but ignoring any real interaction he attempted to start for the attention of one of his team mates. Make him want her, and crave her while she denied it. It got her a prom date... and maybe more.

Looking at his watch, she noted they wouldn’t be crowning Prom King and Queen for at least an hour. It was plenty of time to have some fun. “Are you as well endowed in other areas?” She questioned, hazel orbs flicking towards his crotch as if to drive home what she was implying. His brows shot up and she could tell he probably wasn’t expecting something so bold, not this early in the night. Especially not without any alcohol in her system. But she was an impatient girl. 

“Let’s go find someplace more private and we’ll find out.” Taking his hand in her own, the girl began to guide them out of the ballroom. For a second she caught a familiar gaze across the room, Jamie Ward, and she wondered why he was even paying attention to her in this moment. Probably judging her, but she was too close to cloud nine to allow herself to think deeper on the subject. She pushed any thoughts of him and newspaper club out of her mind as she pulled her conquest out of the ballroom with her.

It took thirty seconds top to find the men’s bathroom, and Mariana pushed the door open with a force that was unnatural. Her boy toy was too entranced with her and the deep kiss she planted on his lips to notice though. It took seconds but suddenly he was wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up on the counter. The kisses slopping and his body pressing into hers just how she liked it. Oh, this was going to be a magical night.

@devilsward

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Weight of the World

A huge, massive, genuine thank you to @rayslittlekitten for the help with this. This idea has been rolling around in my brain for months and months, and I've only just come up with the brain space to write it. Can be read as a The Reaper and the Death Angel one-shot.

Contains: Consent and kink negotiation, smut (Sub!Jax, rope bondage, hand job, F masturbation, size kink, oral sex F receiving, face sitting, P in V, aftercare), fluff.

3.9K words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed

Jax learns to let go

You had been spending the day at Disosa with Venus, your normally busy Friday was freed up by a huge administration screw up that was going to take weeks to fix. Nero and Jax had been at CaraCara giving the girls the rundown on how working at Disosa would work and how much they would be paid for a date.

"How have things been at home dear?"

You shrugged, "a lot, Jax has been so overwhelmed that I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes. He won't relax for a second, even the sex feels like he's aggravated."

She chucked, "sounds like he needs some time out of his head."

You sighed, "that's what the sex is usually for, but I know he's a million miles away. I don't want to put more on his plate but the guy needs to take a break." Venus gave you a gentle smile and picked up the rope that was currently resting on the table.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Ideas filled your head, "he seems like the type that would enjoy his woman telling him what to do."

You nodded, "there have been those occasions, which he has enjoyed very much."

She gave you a smirk, "then I think you know what you need to do."

The slam of the front door told you all you needed to know about how Jax's day went. "Are you alright my love?" Jax huffed, his face locked in a scowl, "sometimes running the Club feels like herding cats." You placed a hand on his shoulder, "you wanna take a few days, leave Ope to take over. We could head to the cabin and spend the weekend doing nothing?"

"Are you kidding me? Between expanding Diosa and trying to find new ways to earn, I don't have the time."

You shook your head, "bullshit, I have shit backed up to the middle of next year and I can spare a weekend, if you burnout you'll feel even worse."

Jax's jaw clenched, "I'm not fighting with you over this."

You took a deep breath, "I don't want to fight Jax, I just want to help." Jax huffed, "we always go back to this, you don't want to fight but you won't budge on me needing to get shit done."

You shook your head, "you can't get shit done if you're not sleeping and looking after yourself."

He left out a short laugh, "says the woman who stays at work for two days straight with no sleep."

It was your turn to huff, "then I come home and do nothing for two days straight after that." Jax sucked on his tongue, trying to think of a reply that wouldn't hurt your feeling but before he could say anything, his phone rang.

He stormed back when the conversation ended, "this isn't finished."

You sighed, "no it's not, but you clearly have shit to deal with."

****

It was just past ten when your phone rang, you were sitting up in bed hoping that Jax got home before you fell asleep, his tone told you all you needed to know, "hey darlin."

His side of the bed was going to be cold tonight, "hello my love, you'll be dealing with Club stuff tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry and I'm sorry about this afternoon too, I know you're just trying to help."

He sounded sad, "it's alright, things have been pretty stressful the last few weeks, I'll see you when I see you."

Jax sounded a bit better, "good night darlin, sleep well."

"Goodnight beloved."

****

You woke up the next morning to Jax's side of the bed untouched, as you walked downstairs, any hope of Jax having fallen asleep on the couch was dashed, his shoes and bike weren't there either.

You got breakfast together and answered work emails then did your best to get your mind off what was going on with Jackson, he texted you midday, and your mood dropped further.

"I won't be home until tonight. I'm sorry, miss you."

If a text could sound sad, his would, "not problems my love, I'll see you tonight."

You put the phone down with a harsh breath, half wanting to spend the day wallowing in your misery but after centring yourself, you had a plan, with a deep breath and an internal pep talk, you got up to put it in place.

****

Jax returned home to a house that smelt like fresh bread and his favourite stew, the smell of beef making his mouth water. He kicked off his shoes and came around the corner, being greeted by you with a glass of scotch in one hand and a plate of nuts and cheeses in the other.

"Have a seat my love, dinner with be ready in an hour." You placed the booze and snacks on the side table and stepped toward him, running your hands under his kutte before taking it off and hanging it on its coat hook in the hallway.

"What this about?"

There was an arrogance in his tone, "I was talking about your stress when I should have been doing something about it."

He sat down and you handed him the food you had prepared, "I need to put the finishing touches on dinner, you relax and enjoy yourself." To Jax's happiness, you had sat him down where he could watch you cook, the scotch warming his throat and the rich cheese eased the hunger he had been feeling all day.

Jax had a smug smirk growing on his face, it wasn't like you didn't dote on him but this made him feel different. He was sipping what was clearly a high end drink, and eating cheese that must have cost you a lot of money while you cooked his favourite meal.

You could feel his eyes following you, you knew what he was thinking, that after dinner, he could drag you upstairs and spend the whole night taking out his frustration on you while you begged him to keep going. You smiled to yourself as you started to pull the beef off the bone, while that would normally be the case, tonight, he was wrong.

****

Jax watched you take both plates in your hands and walk to the dining room, following you with his trademark swagger, "you didn't need to get up, I was coming to get you."

He smirked, "I couldn't wait any longer, it smells amazing." You put the plates down and pulled out his chair, Jax smiling as he sat down.

Dinner was a slow affair, you listened to Jax as he talked about his day and why he was so busy, not offering solutions, just being there with him while he spoke, as dinner wound down, you got him dessert, a caramel cake you had spent the day baking then handed him another glass of scotch and told him to relax while we got the next part of the night ready.

You walked upstairs and into the bedroom, drawing an extra hot bath and lining up the various products you had chosen for the night, lighting some candles and dimming the lights.

After that, you returned to Jax and walked him upstairs, undressing him piece by piece, starting with his rings as you pulled each one off and pressed your thumbs into his tight palms. You moved to his shirt, running your hands over his abs are he bent down so you could pull it over his head. His jeans were next, Jax smirking as the belt came away and your hands reached the fly, "don't get any ideas Teller."

He huffed, "come one darlin." You chose to ignore the growing hardness in his pants as you removed the last of his clothes and directed him to the shower.

"Get clean then climb into the bath, I'll be in when you're done washing up."

You prepared the bed, putting out the massage oil and making sure the room was at a comfortable temperature. Then you went back into the bathroom just as Jax was sitting down in the bath, you had left a chair at the head end of that bath and sat down, picking up the tingly hair mask and rubbing it in your hands before weaving your fingers on to Jax's scalp and rubbing the cream in, Jax's head falling against your hands.

"That feels so good."

His voice was rough, "good, there's more of that on the way." Next was a wet skin cream that you spread all over his exposed neck, shoulder and upper arms, your hands gliding over the knots and tensions while Jax leaned into your hands.

The water had been tinted with the oils you added and the products you had washed off Jax's body but the look on his face betrayed that he was hard under the water.

He chuckled as you smeared a face mask over his fine features, "you really are treating me tonight, aren't you darlin?"

You leaned down a pressed a kiss to his shoulder dome, "and I'm not done." You wiped the mask off him and helped him out of the bath and drained the water, drying him off with the softest towel you owned. You did your best to act like his cock wasn't standing to attention as you brushed the towel over his crotch, Jax's abs hardening as the soft fabric brushed it.

"Go lay on the bed on your stomach, there's a pillow there so you can lie down without turning your head." You followed close behind him and picked up the bottle of oil that was being warmed in a bucket of hot water, Jax paused when you didn't climb on top of him, instead settling next to him as you uncapped the oil and poured it over his muscular back.

You rubbed the ache out of his back, pausing to trace his tattoo as you went, then moving down to his strong thighs and perfectly shaped ass, his foot twitching as you ran a firm hand from the back of his knee, over his asscheek and into the hard ropes of his lower back.

"Flip over." Jax did so slowly, his muscles unwilling to retighten as he moved.

He settled on his back, his cock hard, red and weeping against his stomach, "you gonna leave me hanging."

He was clearly talking about his dick, "I'm not done with this, you're going to have to wait." You spread the oil over his chest, digging your fingers into his solid pecs then moving down to thumb out the painful knots over his ribs.

"Come a little closer, I'm getting cold." You rolled your eyes and got up, turning the thermostat up and moving to sit with you back up against the headboard, bringing Jax's head into your lap while you teased out the hard bludges along his jaw from clenching it all the time.

"Come on darlin, stop teasing." You shook your head as you ran the flat of your hands over the sides of his neck

"I'm not teasing you, I'm doing this to make you feel good."

He chuckled, "I know what else will make me feel good."

You shook your head, "when I'm done here."

"You don't need to keep going, I'm good, I want something different." You pressed your fingers hard into the dome of his shoulder, Jax gasping as the muscles unravelled far faster than what felt good, "you need to learn to let go Jackson."

He huffed, "I'd rather pound you into the mattress."

You took a deep breath, "no, I have no intention to leave you hanging but I want to look after you so let me."

Jax reached up and wrapped a warm hand around your wrist, "you're about to get yourself in trouble."

You yanked your wrist away, "you're here because you can't let go, don't ruin the night by undoing all my hard work."

Jax chuckled and you cut him off, "you have a control issue."

He huffed, "no I don't."

"Says the man who won't let me do anything for him, why won't you let me look after you?"

He smiled, "you are looking after me, but I want something more and you're not being fast enough."

You sighed, "like I said, control issues. I let you tie me up and do God knows what without thinking but I can't rub your back with the promise that you'll be getting off later because you want things your way."

Your tone was still warm but you were getting frustrated, "is that a challenged little girl?"

You smiled, "maybe it is, if you let me tie you up and let me take the reins for the night, I'll change my mind about your control issues."

Jax wound his hand into your shirt and pulled you down, "you can try but we both know you want to be the one being tied up."

"Not tonight, I'll be back." You went into the closet and pulled out the rope, unfurling it and walking back to the bed.

"Do you consent?"

He nodded, "do your worst."

The sides of your lips ticked up, "be careful Jackson, my worst might involve a flogger."

He swallowed, "alright pretty girl, the night's yours."

You walked back to the side of the bed dropped the rope, then picked up his arm and ran your hands up and down his flesh, "what are you going to say if you want me to stop?"

You could tell that Jax was indulging you in the hopes that he would get the upper hand and turn the tide, "I'll tell you to stop."

"Good, get comfortable with your arms above your head please." Jax didn't really say please and thank you when he was the one in control, he did as you asked, and you bound his hands to the headboard.

"You're so polite."

You gave him an almost glare, "now now, if you keep this up you may not be cumming tonight."

He huffed, "you're going to waste all your hard work just to teach me a lesson, that doesn't seem pretty fair to you."

You shook your head, "what I think is unfair to me is that you feel the need to bluster your way through everything. Letting go would do you some good."

He shot you an arrogant smirk, "it's that what I'm doing."

You clenched your jaw, "no, not really." With his arms tied, you climbed back on the bed and ran your hands over his chest, "all these big strong muscles and you can't do anything, if you pull, I'll extend this even longer."

Jax's eyes were filled with heat as they found yours, "are you having fun?"

"Yes I am, so don't give me a reason to have more. Remember the flogger dearest." That shut Jax up, "although, I think that perfect back would make a very nice target, I imagine those will defined muscles would blush so nicely but I think I'd like to redden your firm ass more." Jax seemed to understand that he wasn't the one pulling the strings after that.

"Alright I get the message." You got off him and stood and by his side, getting undressed slowly while you locked eyes with Jax. You ran your hands over your skin, stopping to graze your fingers over all the sensitive spots that you knew Jax loved to touch. Once you were naked and Jax's eyes were hooded, you swung a leg back over him and hovered over his upper chest.

Jax's eyes locked on your centre, his mouth watering when he saw you were visibly slick, "is that all from touching me."

The sharp look you gave him shut him up, "stop talking, you're antagonising me." Jax pressed his lips together as you slid your fingers down your body and through your slit.

"Are you enjoying the view, it's a simple yes or no Jackson."

He swallowed, "yeah, I do."

You smiled, "good because at this rate, it's all you're going to get." You spread your knees so he could see more of you and circled your clit with your index finger, Jax's eyes were fixed on its path as you collected wetness from your entrance and used it to slick your path.

You rubbed your clit until you clenched around nothing with the need to be filled then slipped two fingers inside your body. There was a lacing of disappointment, Jax's fingers felt so much better. You added a third and pressed your fingertips into your G-spot, Jax was breathing like he was running a marathon.

You fought the urge to place your free hand on his chest as you approached the peak, you forced yourself to remain quiet as you came. Jax watched you flutter around your fingers with a mix of anger and desire. You pulled your fingers out and brought them inches from his face, "you want a taste?" Jax lifted his head and you pulled away, "I didn't offer, I asked. Would you like a taste?"

"Please." Jax opened his mouth as you moved your fingers towards him and he sucked them into his mouth, you pulling them away long before he was satisfied. "Come and sit on my face, I want more."

You shook your head, "no. Maybe later." You collected more of your wetness, leaned back and grabbed his cock, stroking the first half of his cock in slow, gentle movements.

Jax grunted and he lifted off the bed, you putting your weight onto him so he couldn't move any further, "be good."

Jax huffed, "why are you being so mean."

You chuckled, "I'm not being mean, I'm taking my time. Now stop talking." You added more pressure and moved your hand over the whole shaft, it didn't take Jax long to reach the edge and you slowed, "not yet Jackson."

He swallowed and took a deep breath, holding back as best he could. You went through a cycle of speeding up and slowing down as he twitched in your hand, having to squeeze the base of his shaft as the pleasure mounted. Jax relaxed back into the pillows, his mind slowly quieting as the wave of sensation rolled over him.

Just as it was becoming impossible for him to hold back, you slowed and then stopped, sitting over his thighs and bringing a hand to stroke his face, "you've been so good for me, would you like a reward?" Jax nodded, "I need a verbal answer my love."

Jax took a deep breath, "please." You smiled and shifted, settling over his face and lowering yourself down.

Jax craned his head to reach you, his tongue coming out to lick you from clit to entrance and back again. You grabbed the headboard tightly as he sucked on your clit, doing your best to make sure your moans were rewards and not givens. Just as you were about to let out another one, he tugged on the ropes and you shot up.

"I told you not to tug." You sat back over his thighs and went back to stroking his cock, using the same pattern of stroking and squeezing until Jax was gasping and shaking. "Do you want to be inside me?"

Jax's eyes shot open, "please."

You smiled down at him, "then you need to show me you won't tug."

You moved back over him, Jax licking his lips as your centre moved closer. Jax moaned against you as your taste filled his mouth, smiling on your skin as the vibration caused you a gasp. This felt different to him, normally going down on you was an ego boost, he knew exactly what to do to get you shaking around his head but this felt like an act of worship and he suddenly understood why you loved getting on your knees for him so much.

It felt like the only thing on his mind was getting you off, he was no longer worried about the Club or money or the cops, nothing else mattered but how you were soaking his beard. Jax could tell you were close by how hard you were holding back the noise, but rather than say something, he just doubled his efforts.

You faulted and looked down, the far away look in Jax's eye telling you all you needed to know as you came violently. Jax acted like a man about to die of thirst as he did his best to get you to stay above him. A particular shake from you told Jax it was time to drop his head, then you were shifting backwards and leaning down to kiss him softly.

Jax's lower face was wet, and he licked his lips, "do you want to be inside me Jackson?"

Jax moaned, "was that a yes, no or a need a second?"

He took a deep breath, "yes please." You smiled and grabbed his cock, rubbing the tip over her slit then sunk down.

Jax gasped but to your surprise, didn't tug on the ropes as you started to move. You started off slow but that didn't last long, just as the pleasure became overwhelming, you sped up and he fell over the edge like a car off a roadside cliff. He slid out of you and you untied him as fast as you could, Jax's arms coming to wrap around you, "thank you Jackson."

He buried his face in your neck and kissed your skin, "I love you so much."

You smiled softly, "I love you too. You need anything?"

He shook his head, "just stay here a little longer?"

You nodded, "of course." You brought his wrists to your lips and kiss every inch of skin while Jax regained his bearings.

It took a little while before he let you slide off him, so you raced off to the bathroom the clean up before returning to the bedroom with a warm, damp washcloth and wiping his face then his soft cock. "You doing alright?"

He nodded, "I'm good." You climbed into bed and pulled him into your arms, his head resting on your chest.

Jax kissed your skin and took a deep breath, his brain still just out of reach, you twisted and opened the drawer, handing him a bottle of water, "can you have something to drink for me?" Jax took the bottle from your hand and drank half before handing it to you, "thank you my love."

"You need anything else."

Jax lifted his hand and brought it to your cheek, bringing you in for a kiss, "I'm alright." His tone was soft and reserved.

"Ok, did you enjoy yourself."

He smiled, "yeah, that was fun." You kissed his cheek, "would you like to do something like that again?"

He nodded, "yeah, maybe not right away, that was a lot."

You giggled, "yeah, it was."

Jax pressed his lips to your forehead, "I've gained a new respect for how easily you let go for me, it was harder than I thought it would be."

You hugged him tighter, "thank you for saying that." You held Jax for a little longer while he came back to earth, "would you like me to get you a snack?"

He shook his head, "I'm still stuffed from dinner and you."

You giggled, "alright then, sleep?"

He nodded and you moved down on the bed, Jax moving to lay on top of you with his arms wrapped around your body, "goodnight darlin."

"Good night beloved, I love you very much."

Fin

Your comments are wanted and loved!!

[jewbeloved]

can i request kyle, tweek, wendy, craig and kenny with a werewolf reader

Kyle, Tweek, Wendy, and Craig with wolf s/o🐺🐺🌺💗💗

I FORGOT TO DO KENNY IN THIS SCENARIO, IM SORRY😭😭😭😭😭😭

Warnings: A little bit of angst in Tweek's part.

Gender: Neutral

💚 Kyle Broflovski 🍏

Honestly, he is one lucky and sneaky jew If he somehow always finds out about stuff by accident or on purpose.

He texted you saying that he was coming over to your house and before you could reply back he went offline meaning that he was on his way.

You panicked, wondering how he is going to react to you being a wolf. You spent the next few minutes coming up with a plan, before you knew it you heard a knock on the door.

You desperately hid in the closet, refusing to open the door.

💚 Kyle's pov 💚

I knocked on the door waiting for Y/n to open it since I was excited to come see them.

It's been a few minutes and there wasn't any answer.

"Y/n?" I knocked a few more times before turning the knob to see that the door was left open.

"Why is their door opened??" I walked inside and didn't see Y/n in the living room or the kitchen. I then went upstairs to go and check their room.

And to my surprise, their room door was also open and I didn't see them in there either.

"Y/n? where are you???" I tried to investigate their room for a little.

I looked under the bed, and under the blanket but there wasn't any sight of them.

I didn't want to think that something bad could've happened to them.

I then hear some ruffling coming from the closet.

🤍 Your pov 🤍

I heard footsteps coming near the closet. Before I could have a chance to hide behind the clothes in my closet, the door swing open and standing in the door was Kyle....

"Y/n?!?!" He gasped when he saw me in my wolf form.

Kyle stared straight at you, mostly in confusion because he doesn't know how to react to your state right now at the moment.

You were scared that Kyle might run out of the room and go tell everybody. But he instead softened his expression, but he still held a look of disappointment. Mostly because he is a bit upset that you never told him about any of this like you never trusted him.

He walked closer to you and pulled you into a hug.

"Please don't tell my secret to everyone Kyle!"

"I'm not. But Y/n, why did you hide this from me? You know I will always love you no matter what you are"

"I never had the courage to properly tell you.....I'm sorry..." You buried your face closer into his chest as he rubs your back.

Kyle was indeed shock and confused when he first saw your wolf form.

You did end up explaining everything to him and he listened through it.

Later on when you got more comfortable to show your form around him, he was really glad he got to see it more often now that you were comfortable showing it to him.

He probably won't let anyone else see you besides Stan because you know how Cartman gets.

Kyle loves petting and playing with your tail while giving you loads of compliments <3

"Awww you're so cute and fluffy Y/n :)"💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

💛 Tweek Tweak 🌈

The gif above is mostly how he reacts when he first saw your wolf form.

You'll have to hold Tweek back and get him to calm down because he might probably freak out too much and tell his parents.

But it isn't his fault at all! He was just startled by you! He will come back to his senses eventually!

Nope, you will have to spend the next 2 weeks trying to calm him down and gain his trust again.

That is until he broke out of your arms and dashed out of your room screaming for his dear life.

You tried to chase after him but he already was out of your sight and the front door of your house was wide open.

You fell down to your knees in defeat knowing that Tweek will expose your secret and wolf hunters are probably going to hunt you down just like when you left your original home.

You went back to your room and climbed in your bed putting your hands up at your face crying desperately.

You spent the next few hours crying not knowing that your room door opened silently.

The person looked up at your crying figure feeling a amount of guilt in them.

They climbed into your bed and wrapped their arms around you.

You tensed up and look behind you to see who it was.

Blonde spikey hair, green unbuttoned shirt, blue pants, and yellow eyes piercing at you.

"T-Tweek.....?" He leaned his head into the back of your neck hugging you closer to him.

"I-I-Im sorry...Y/n...I didn't mean to run out of the room like that...my anxiety was tensing up and I didn't know what to do....please forgive me..."

He completely said that without doing his usual 'ACK' or 'UGH's.

"Did you tell anyone my....secret..?" He made eye contact with you again as you said that.

"No I didn't....I realized that wolf hunters do exist and they probably might try to hurt you If I told anybody...You ending up injured or killed is one of my biggest fears.." Tears began to spill out of Tweek's eyes.

"Y/n, I'm sorry! I couldn't stand hearing you cry any longer. You mean a lot to me and I apologize for being so afraid knowing that it's you and you would never hurt me"

You hugged Tweek back as tears spilled out both of your eyes.

"I forgive you Tweek....I forgive you..."

You both cuddled to sleep, knowing that Tweek will always stay by your side and never leave...💛💛💛💛💛💛

💖 Wendy Testaburger 📱

She probably reacts similar to Kyle a little.

But she softens up more quickly after you explain your full secret to her.

But she is very confused on why you never told her from the beginning.

She absolutely loves playing with your fur! but she likes petting you the most.

Wendy might probably only tell Bebe about your form and nobody else.

Believe it or not, but If the government somehow manages to find out about you.

I have a feeling Wendy would protest against them or do anything in her power to prevent them from getting their fishy hands on you.

She may have lost with spreading awareness about photoshopping and breast cancer, but she is putting her foot down and not losing this one.

And that's a pinky promise, Wendy will always keep you safe because you mean a lot to her and she means a lot to you <3💗💗💗💗💗💗

💙 Craig Tucker 💛

Em...okay? you're a wolf. Can I start petting you now?

He legit probably won't care about you being a wolf and continues to still view you as his s/o.

But there might be some times where he will play with your fur If you want, but just expect him to ignore the fact that you're a wolf and focus on trying to give you cuddles instead.

If you get a bit annoyed at him ignoring your wolf form, you probably might howl in the midnight so he won't get any sleep and that annoys him.

"Y/n, can you stop please I'm trying to sleep you know"

"No, stop ignoring my wolf form and give it attention >:C"

Yep, he will give in and adore your form so you can stop being all whiny.

You also got your fur hair all over his bed and he had to clean it up with an annoyed face.

He overall still loves you for you who are. 💙💛💙💛💙💛💙

Craig is a hamster and you can't change my mind🤭🤭

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

[mypoisonedvine]

artificial scarcity || (soft)dark!Jake Jensen x reader

summary: you'll realize how good he can treat you, how badly you need him, one way or another. you just need a little encouragement, that's all.

word count: 4k, somehow...

warnings: smut! (dubcon; she is fully consenting but under dubious circumstances), drugging (technically), kidnapping, imprisonment, starvation, touch-starved reader, bed sharing, grinding/thigh fucking, size kink, spanking, implied stalking/voyeurism, implied noncon (kinda?), jake being possessive and manipulative and creepy

a/n: this was supposed to be a drabble which is why the pacing might feel a little rushed in the beginning but I hope you guys don’t mind!

Jake was normally a relatively patient guy, especially with you since he had an obvious soft spot for the newest member of the team.  But after months of trying to get your attention, of his abysmal flirting not getting him anywhere, of you becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of him as a friend and nothing else, his patience was running thin.

He was tired of waiting for the perfect opportunity to rescue you and show you that he was the perfect guy for you.  He was tired of waiting for you to figure out that he could be everything you needed if you just let him.  So, he figured he needed to manufacture a chance to save you; he needed to take away some things just to bring them back, show you what it was like to let him take care of you.

Getting close to you was easy, you were teammates and friends so you trusted him.  The tricky thing was he didn't want you to know it was him, so he used your trust to lure you right into his trap.

Movie night tonight? There’s some cheesy slasher playing at the drive in at 1930, he texted you as soon as he could to the showtime to decrease the odds of you having any time to tell anyone about your plans to meet up with him; he’d rather not have the heat of being the last person to see you before your disappearance.

yeah sure!  are you driving? you replied almost instantly.

Yep, I’ll pick you up at S Lamar and Hanover in 10, he informed you, knowing it was close to your apartment but far away from any security cameras or likely witnesses.

He parked a block away and walked around the corner to see you standing there under the flickering streetlight looking at your phone.  You were waiting for him, and as he hid behind cover to come closer, you were clearly looking around for where he might be.  Thankfully, you didn't see him or his tranq gun, and he got your neck on the first shot.

He ran to catch you before you fell, relishing the weight of your body limp and pliant in his arms.  Somehow, he resisted the urge to play with you now, knowing it would be worth the wait to let his whole plan come to fruition.

//

The room he locked you in was dark and damp, barely any light but enough to see the half-full water bottle he left for you; your chain was short but you could reach everything you needed.  It broke his heart to hear your cries but he had to ignore them, if he came in now it wouldn't make sense.  He needed to be patient.

When the video feed from his camera inside showed that you'd fallen asleep for the night, he snuck in to bring you a new water bottle and a little granola bar since you'd screamed all day about being hungry.  You seem surprised when you woke up and saw it, quickly grabbing the bar but taking a long time to examine and smell it first before eating, like you were afraid it was poisoned.  But you ate, and drank your water, and waited for rescue.

Day 3 was the hardest to watch.  You tugged at your chain so much that he worried you'd hurt yourself.  He decided tomorrow was the last day because he couldn't take any more of this.

On the fourth day, he waited until you started to cry yourself to sleep before shutting down his equipment and finally coming to the door; he took a deep breath, preparing himself, before dramatically kicking it down and gasping when he saw you.  He called your name into the dark and you barely had the energy to open your eyes, poor thing.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" he yelped, dashing over to where you were chained and picking at the lock.  "I'm gonna get you out, don't worry, you're safe now."

"Jensen...?" you mumbled sleepily, making him smile and stroke your face a little.  

"Yeah, I'm right here."

//

He carried you to his car and drove you home-- not your old home, your new one which also happened to be his apartment.

"I think it's time to wake up, I'm guessing you wanna take a shower," he cooed at your sleeping form, watching you stir in his arms before finally blinking your eyes open and looking up at him.

"Oh," you whispered.  "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes," he laughed, "you've been out the whole ride here."

"Oh…” you repeated, “and where are we?"

"My apartment.  I didn't want to leave you alone right now."

You nodded, seemingly in agreement.  "You can put me down now."

He reluctantly did as you'd asked, watching you carefully put weight back on your legs.

"Woah!" he chuckled when you wobbled a bit, reaching out to catch you, but you recovered.

"Thank you," you whispered, and he smiled at you.

"Just wish I'd found you sooner.”

"Um, you said I can take a shower?"

"Yeah, down that hall, first door on the right.  I'll bring you some clothes,” he explained, and you smiled weakly before navigating your way to the bathroom.

//

You looked so good in his clothes that his heart skipped a beat when he saw you step out into the living room.  The t-shirt that was almost too tight on him was baggy on you, reminding him of how delicate you were in so many ways, how much bigger he was than you.

It reminded him that if he really wanted to, he could force himself on you and you'd be helpless to stop him.  But that wasn't what he wanted.  It was going to be so much better this way.

"Wanna go to bed now?  I'll take the couch," he offered.

"N-no," you stammered, and he gave you a quizzical look.  "I don't… I don't want you that far away."

"Okay, I could sleep on the floor," he bargained instead, "in my room, with you."

"No," you sighed again, "then I won't be able to see you."

"I'll be right there," he reminded you.

"It's a king, right?  You can share with me."

"Are you sure?" he pressed.  "I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"No, please, this is the only way I'll be comfortable."

"Okay," he smiled, guiding you to the bedroom.  He let you watch him take off his shirt and smirked a little when he saw you ogling.

"I usually just sleep in boxers," he admitted nervously.  "I'll put on some pajama pants at least."

"It's fine, really," you smiled.  "I don't wanna be any more of a burden than I already am."

"You're not a burden."

"And I'm not gonna wear pants to bed anyways," you shrugged.

"O-oh."

But he hadn't given you a new pair of panties to wear because he didn't have any to give you.  Which meant that if you took off the sweats he'd given you, that'd leave you in his shirt and nothing else.

He tried not to let that thought go straight to his cock as he unbuttoned and pushed down his pants, seeing you conflicted on where to look, before getting in bed.  You did the same, taking the sweats off once you were under the covers and tossing them out from under the blanket.

"Goodnight," he smiled as he turned off the lamp, hearing you whisper it back before starting to shift around and get comfortable.

He didn't have to wait nearly as long as he had expected to hear you meekly whisper, "Jensen?"

"Yeah, is everything alright?" he asked, voice full of concern.

"I… I don't want to ask you for anything else…" you sighed.

"No, hey, it's okay," he assured, "ask for anything."

"Would you, um, would you hold me?" 

He cleared his throat a little.  "If you need me to."

"Please, it's the only way I'll be able to sleep."

He sighed a little but relented, coming over to your side of the bed and spooning you, gingerly laying one arm over you and trying to avoid touching you anywhere too personal.

"Thank you," you sighed sleepily.

"Whatever you need,” he assured.

"Jake, why are you doing all this for me?" you asked quietly, turning back a little to look at him.

"You're my teammate, nobody gets left behind,” he explained.  “Besides, this is all my fault anyways.  You were waiting for me when they got you."

"No, Jake, don't say that.  It's not your fault."

"Alright, but it's not yours either.  You didn't deserve that."

“You’re right, but I don’t deserve this either,” you mumbled.

“Yes, you do.”

You shifted slightly against him, humming contentedly, and he groaned.

"I think maybe we should stop," he hissed, pulling away— but you stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"No, wait," you whimpered.  "Why?  What’s wrong?"

"I, uh, I guess I'm just experiencing some of the consequences of laying in bed with a beautiful woman…"

"Huh?"

"The, um, the biological consequences."

"I— oh,” you whispered.

"Yeahhh...” he trailed off awkwardly.

"No, hey, it's okay.  I don't mind, I mean, you can't help it,” you shrugged.

"Sorry, I'm not normally this easily amused but it's been a while, so…"

"I understand," you assured, "really, it's okay… just don't go."

He just barely heard your gasp as he pressed himself against you, his shaft cradled perfectly between each soft globe of your ass.  "Is this okay?" he asked quietly.

"Y-yeah," you answered, making him suppress a laugh since it was obvious you were noticing his size.  He would bet a grand at least that you were getting wet right now, if he had anyone to bet against.

Your back arched a little, pushing your ass into him with more force, and you actually started to rock your hips ever so slightly.

"Stop moving," he hissed through his teeth.  

"I'm not…" you denied weakly.

"Yes you are, you're… rubbing yourself on me."

"I'm sorry, it just feels good,” you admitted sleepily, surprising him with your forwardness.  “You like it too, right?"

"Yes, but I feel like I'm taking advantage of you,” he admitted worriedly.

"You're not,” you promised, “you did so much for me— you saved me— and I want to help you, too.  You said it's been a while since you were with anybody, I could help you out… you know, you could rub up against me until you…"

He groaned a little but leaned in closer until his lips were right against your ear.  "Are you sure?  Don't do me any favors, you don't owe me anything."

"I want you to," you assured, making him smile and nod a bit, taking a moment to enjoy a deep breath as he prepared himself.

Carefully, he began to rock his hips forward, rubbing his cock on you through his boxers.  Even with a layer of cotton in the way he could feel your warmth, he could imagine how smooth your skin was.  If you hadn't been able to make out the shape of him before, you certainly could now— the ridge of his head was probably digging into you, and on particularly long thrusts he could feel your ass against his balls (which, inversely, meant you could feel his balls against your ass).

He held your hips as he picked up his pace a bit, grinding into you and breathing heavily in your ear.  You gasped and tried to hide a moan by biting your lip but he heard it.  It was even more obvious when he whispered your name to you, heavy with desire, and rubbed your spine with his finger.  Your back arched even further, inviting him to push harder against you until he felt the slightest wet patch forming on his boxers— not from him, from you.  It made his cock throb and his breath catch in his throat.

Overcome with need, he pushed his boxers down quickly before getting back to it, both of you moaning at the feeling of his skin on yours.  He was so close to your pussy he could hardly stand it, and he knew you must be dripping right now, desperate to be filled.  He could probably slip right in and you wouldn't even stop him, but that wasn't what he needed from you right now.  You needed to ask him for it.  He knew you wanted it, but he needed you to know you wanted it.

A drop of precum formed at his slit, smearing onto your skin and easing his way further.  

"I want you to feel good, too," he whispered.  "I don't just want to use you."

He pushed his cock down and slipped it between your thighs instead, sliding right against your wet, silky folds.  You whined beautifully as he thrusted forward, your thighs clenching (and therefore gripping him even tighter) when his cock slid right over your clit.

Your wetness was plentiful enough to drench him just from this, so he already knew the answer but he still asked, "does it feel good?"

"Yes," you sighed.  "Yes, it's good…"

He knew he could make you come like this, and he knew exactly how to, but that wouldn't get him what he wanted.  Instead he only gave you enough to keep you on the edge, moving too slow to really let you finish.  You even tried to move faster but his grip on your hips was too tight, keeping you still so he could savor his own pace and keep you desperate.

"Fuck me," you moaned.  

"I don't have a condom," he whispered nervously.

"I don't care, just please…"

That was all the encouragement he needed, pulling back enough to guide his head to your entrance before sliding right in.  Your wet, hot walls stretched open to accept him, struggling against his girth but eventually giving way.

Your hand shot back to grab onto his thigh, trying to keep him from going too deep, but he had no intentions of holding back now that he was inside you; he delicately grabbed your wrist and guided your hand back to your chest where he wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly.

"Baby," he moaned into your ear as his hips met yours.  "This is my pussy now."

You gasped and shivered in his arms, eyes falling shut as he pulled back and pushed in again, incredibly slow but as deep as he could push himself.

Your moans were perfect, even better than the ones he'd heard when he hacked into your webcam because it wasn't just your fingers or toy anymore, it was him— exactly what you'd always needed, whether you knew it or not.  He'd dreamed of this for so long and now that he had you he couldn't imagine ever letting you go.  Every inch of your channel was like heaven, every moan was somehow more beautiful than the last.

"That's it, baby, take all of me," he purred when he pressed deep into your cunt, holding your hips so the tip of his cock hit the deepest parts of you.  You made the cutest little choking noise and he kissed your neck while trying his best to make you do it again, moving faster and slapping his hips against yours more firmly.

"Jake," you managed to whimper, and he groaned through his teeth.

"Yeah, I'm right here," he promised.  "That's me inside you, sweetheart, that's my cock filling you up."

He leaned back slightly and pulled your ass apart so he could see his cock stretching you out, disappearing into your body.  It made his head fall back for a moment before he pulled you close again and started thrusting faster.  He reached around and brought two fingers to your clit, rubbing it fiercely as he kept thrusting.

"Oh fuck," you moaned, "Jake, right there… I'm gonna come…"

He laughed a little, kissing your ear as a show of approval.  "Baby, you're so sensitive," he praised, giving your clit a little spank.  You cried out and shuddered, bouncing yourself back on his cock, meeting his thrusts.  Amused by your neediness, he stopped moving and watched you go.

"There you go, sweetheart, fuck yourself with my cock.  Make yourself come."

You whined and kept going, your ass slapping against his hips loudly.  He kept rubbing your clit as you worked his cock, your walls starting to clench down on him rhythmically and your body beginning to shake.

The absolute second he heard you cry out with pleasure as you reached the peak, he grabbed you and rolled both of you over until you were on your stomach and he was brutally fucking you into the mattress.  He could still feel you pulsing around his length, gripping him tight and pulling him deeper.

"That's it, keep fuckin' coming for me," he groaned.  "Gimme one more and then I'm gonna fill you up."

"Jake!" you yelped, grabbing onto the pillow and even biting it as he slammed into you.  

"You're so good, baby, your pussy feels so good," he growled, pinning you down by your shoulders as he sped up even more.  He laughed when he felt your walls weakly fluttering, his balls hitting your swollen clit with each thrust.  "Gonna come again already, baby?  Just from my cock?"

"Yes," you sobbed hoarsely, "yes, Jake, I'm gonna come again— oh my god, please don't stop…"

"Oh, I won't stop," he assured.  "You take it so fuckin' good, sweetheart, like you were made for it.  Like you were made for me."

You moaned loudly and he took the opportunity to spank you— not incredibly hard but enough to make you whine a bit… and get even wetter.

"Oh fuck, you like that huh?" he purred with a grin.  "You like it rough."

"Yes, fuck, I love it," you agreed with a moan.  "I'm— I'm coming, Jake, don't stop."

"Yeah, I know," he chuckled, "I can feel it.  Feels so good when you come on my cock, baby…"

You went suddenly from arching your back and gripping the pillow to falling limp and relaxing, your body his toy now as he fucked you to the point of overstimulation.  Your moans were exhausted and muffled now, your walls clinging to him desperately as he continued stroking every sensitive place he could reach (which was all of them).

He could so easily pull out and paint your back, or jerk himself off over your ass, but if he was going to claim your body then he was going to do it right.  

He didn't warn you in advance, just in case you suddenly decided to tell him to pull out, but he did make sure you knew what he was doing.  "Fuck, I'm coming!" he moaned as his cock flexed and his seed filled you, still thrusting in time with each pump of his release.  It was nearly overwhelming, physically and psychologically.  He was finally filling you like he'd fantasized about basically every time he got off since he met you, finally making you his the way you should've been from the beginning.

He sighed and laid down on top of you, smiling as he kissed all over your face, neck, shoulders, and back.

You giggled sleepily, but whined when he tried to pull out, bringing your legs up to hold him inside.  "Don't go yet," you pleaded.

"Okay, baby, I'll stay right here until you fall asleep," he promised.  "Goodnight, beautiful…"

//

Not only could he not think of a night he'd slept better in his life, but he was pretty sure this was the best any man had slept in the history of sleep.  But even then, he wasn't at all disappointed when you woke him up.

"Good morning," you whispered in his ear with a giggle, making him blink his eyes open and look down at where you were resting your face on his chest.

"Good morning," he returned with a grin, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

"Last night was… pretty amazing," you smiled coyly, and he stroked your cheek as he felt it warm even more.

"Yeah, you have no idea," he chuckled, lifting your head so he could give you a kiss.  It was supposed to be quick and wholesome but you deepened it instantly, wrapping your arms around his neck.  

Just as you started to climb up to straddle him, he heard your stomach loudly growl and he pulled back to laugh.

"Sorry, sweetheart, but it sounds like you've got some other needs to take care of first," he smirked.

"Ugh, you're right," you sighed, "I'm going raid your kitchen."

"No, let me do that, I'll make you something— whatever you want," he offered, starting to sit up, but you pushed him back down.

"Jake, you've done enough for me already.  I don't even know what I want, that's why I wanna go look at what you have."

"If you insist," he relented, watching you hop out of bed and playfully smacking your ass when it was within reach.  You giggled and scampered away, leaving him to lay back and put his hands up behind his head, taking a deep breath of satisfaction.  His plan had not only worked but gone beyond his expectations— clearly you had wanted this, on some level, from the beginning, you were too eager for him to believe otherwise.  But that didn't matter now, because you were finally his and it was exactly as he'd dreamed it would feel: right, undeniably and overwhelmingly right.

He decided to take a break from basking in his own glory for a while to get up and find some food for himself as well.  After all, he planned on fucking you at least one more time today so he'd need lots of energy to keep him going.

He slipped back on his boxers and walked to the kitchen, finding you there standing oddly still.  "What are you doing?" he asked with a bemused scoff.

"Jake…" you mumbled, staring into the cabinet blankly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping closer but stopping in his tracks when he saw what you were looking at: a six-pack box of granola bars.  He sighed a little as he internally chided himself for such a rookie mistake.  "Baby, seriously, what's wrong?"

"I… these… this is the same kind they gave me… it was the only thing I ate for almost four days."

"Oh my god," he whispered, stepping up behind you and wrapping his arms around you to try to soothe you.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring back any bad memories.  You only ate granola bars for four days?  Honey, you must be starving, please just let me cook you something—"

"No, not only granola bars: only a granola bar.  Just one…"

You reached up to grab the box but he held you tighter, trying to stop you.  Instead what happened was you accidentally knocked the box over, exactly five bars sliding out and landing on the floor with a crinkly thud.

You gasped with realization and tried to squirm away but his comforting hug turned into restraint instantly.  "Jake, let me go…"

"I'm sorry, baby, but I don't think I can do that."

"Jake, please," you begged with a sob.  "Why did you— how could you?"

"I know you had feelings for me, you just needed a little encouragement."

"Feelings for you?  I hate you!"

"Huh, that's odd, because I distinctly remember you begging me to fuck you last night,” he taunted.  “I remember you coming for me, twice.  Is that what you normally do when you hate somebody?"

"You're a monster," you sneered.

"And you're stuck with me, whether you like it or not," he chuckled, spinning you around to bend you over the counter, pressing his hips against yours as you whined and failed to squirm away.  "So you might as well let yourself like it."