#{They were somewhere in Europe

[cologona]

Batman: The Knight is good but in my heart I know that Bruce Wayne was all of about 14 years old when he went off on his world training adventure.

Because if Bruce was running around chasing dangerous and morally dubious people before his voice even dropped, begging them to teach him, it makes a lot more sense why he’d see a grieving, angry little Dick Grayson years later and think yes, the ethical and normal thing to do here is to teach the boy to fight myself and give him his own costume.

[jula483]

chicago, raleigh, washington DC, philadelphia

2024 was pretty fun I guess 🥺💖

[beautifulelephantsealsunrise]

happy nerp friday everyone!!! (нерпятница)

[theonethinginlife]

.

[boredkitkulover]

i need people from Western Europe to be chill and kind about Eastern Europe. we are not basically russian, we don't speak cyrillic (???), we have our languages, cultures and traditions. we are not basically Western Europeans, we have our cultures and traditions. it's not that hard. Europe is not only five Western countries. moreover, Europe is not only European Union. we are not basically not-European. we have our histories, cultures and traditions and they may be different from yours but it's FINE

[severalowls]

Thinkin about how when I was like 9 our teacher went on a brief tangent vividly-but-not-graphically describing seeing a woman get hit by a bus on a particular street years earlier and how people tend to want to get that stuff off their chest but how its probably going to stick with others too.....

[cosmic-kiwi]

"A half century ago and more, scholars and essayists often traced the earliest hints of the American character to the arrival of settlers in Jamestown and Plymouth—a view that is less prevalent now. Yet American history had been unfolding for some time before 1607. The Spanish Empire penetrated deeply into the Americas during the long century that elapsed between the landfall of Columbus in 1492 and the first English settlements. The recent discovery of an old footprint in Mexico suggests that hominoids may have been here as long as 40,000 years ago—far longer than previously assumed. The New World is not always so new—what may be the oldest living thing on earth is a bristlecone pine tree named Methuselah, nearly 5,000 years old, in California. In other words, American history goes back very far—to what T. S. Eliot called “a time / Older than the time of chronometers.”"

'Where Does American History Begin?' by Ted Widmer

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

[biblicallyaccuratepigeons]

it is normal and good to want to be a hero but so so few of the guys talking about that actually mean it and are also hero material. as someone actually descended from the kind of man's men that people talk about, it's genuinely insulting to see these guys talk about it without any understanding—but who could have taught them? their dads were either absent or abusive. who was gonna point them towards arthur, or robin hood, or any other good example of a good man, and teach them the values at their cores which made them great? who was gonna teach them that pillaging and conquering for personal gain is dysfunctional? who was gonna teach them that women, beautiful and fearsome and sensitive as they are and can be, are not merely treasures to add to their hoard? who was gonna teach them honesty, strength of heart, nobility, and brotherhood?

if masculinity is dying, it's the "spartans" and "vikings" who are killing it

[dreamyberry]

9 favourite characters tag. Since there are so many anime designs I like, but I went for characters with whom I somehow can relate.

Tagged by @dreamyghostie (post)- feel free to tag me in your post if you do this after seeing mine, would be fun to see others' charas

[playingonedchess]

posh people invent a sort of food that people would actually want to eat channlenge

[replicantdeviancy]

The way his date spoke of his secretiveness surrounding his occupation, it raised a myriad of questions in the detective’s mind, curiosities of why & what reasons James might have felt so inclined. Was it the church which demanded it of him? Or was it his own particular proclivity towards discretion that he believed might serve him better than candidness? Connor wanted to ask, but he felt the moment had passed with grace, that small opening slipping shut amicably between them. He didn’t want to wrench it open now with his childish demanding, so he held onto those queries, filed them away for a later time, when he might have another opportunity. Right now, he wanted to enjoy their time together, let himself bask in the attention afforded him by that hypnotic gaze & fascinating mind. Priesthood aside, James as an individual was an intriguing man - there was something mysterious about him, unrelated to that which had already been confessed. That enigmatic nature of his was captivating to the detective, who was so knowledgeable in the way of the mind, learned well beyond his years. It was a rare person whom Connor couldn’t completely decipher, & it made him want to keep this man all to himself. Selfish little thing that he was.

Assurances of how James viewed him, sought to know him without casting judgment upon things that couldn’t be helped, made Connor feel so secure in his company, like he was something precious, deserving of protection. The younger man was still astonished just how comfortable he was with James, how effortlessly the priest could quiet his hypervigilant, overthinking mind. He was sensitive & thoughtful, & there was unmistakable sincerity interlinked with sass. The detective picked at his food more than anything, as he was far more interested in what James had to say, starved in a way that would find relief not in nourishment of the body, but of the soul. While Connor had never been exposed to scripture in his youth, he could savor the little verses mixed into their conversations as morsels of intellectualism borrowed from what he assumed were a collection of fables intended to elicit thoughtfulness upon morality. At least that’s how it felt when the priest proclaimed them, peppered them into their dialogues. But this one he offered now, articulate & always chosen with what seemed like such care, felt loving.

The detective couldn’t help the sweet smile that formed with his flattery. “You have a sermon for every situation, don’t you?” he teased before shoving a chip into his mouth, that smile playing upon his features as he chewed, momentarily busying himself gathering the ketchup bottle. There was a mild disappointment when he realized that the restaurant used the glass bottles instead of the squeeze variety, yet with just a little finesse & a bit of luck, Connor was able to get just enough of the condiment out to satisfy the necessity for additional flavor without making a mess. He played it cool, as though he hadn’t momentarily fumbled, & continued to give his date bedroom eyed from across the table while he occasionally picked at his meal. “Not that I mind. It’s not something I was ever exposed to before, but I can appreciate it.” He meant that - bible quotations were a rarity in his life, as the only individuals the detective personally associated with on a regular basis who might utter one were Markus, or his adoptive father. A far different context was involved, as they spoke from a philosophical standpoint.

With James, it felt romantic. Connor suspected there was a fair bit of romance to this man, faintly masked beneath the open flirtatiousness that invited a more carnal perception of his character. The detective was there for all of it, as he had made his own intentions quite clear. He wanted this man; physically, yes, & in any other way James would let him. It didn’t feel too hurried, rushing in like this, willing to go all in. Connor wasn’t the kind of person who half-assed anything, & he wasn’t about to start now. It appeared as though the two were on the same page - James offered up yet another pretty picture of a little holiday adventure in England for just the two of them, & Connor found himself rather taken with the idea. It prompted a quietly eager response. “I’ll be sure to keep my calendar open. It would be a shame to pass up an offer for late night pub food & debauchery.” Never mind that his pulse had slightly elevated with elation at the idea of being allowed into another small piece of his companion’s world, invited to see more of the man who sat before him & eyed him with a wanting gaze. Those eyes made him feel just a little vulnerable in the most titillating of ways, as the detective knew James sought to look beyond the surface & that flawless mask he wore, unafraid to coax his way through the layers of Connors defenses built up over the years.

He really could see himself running away with this man for a time, or forever, if he so chose. Just cast aside doubts & speculations & let somebody else take control for once. Leave it all up to his handsome would-be seducer & relinquish control completely. He found himself longing to visit the cozy little villages of the northern English isle, the windswept coasts at the edge of the Irish Sea, or the stunning villas of Italy. Lounging about like some pretty little thing at the priest's side, where James could admire him freely, secure in the knowledge that the boy was his & his alone.

Such visions endured as their banter continued, as his date informed him of yet another uniquely English culinary delight. “Curry sauce?” The thought gave him pause, & Connor considered it, curious as to how it might taste. “Well, you can’t conquer half of the world & not adopt a few cultural classics,” he teased, never one to let the opportunity pass. “I don’t know. I’m a simple guy. I have an addiction to avocado toast & pumpkin spice lattes.” The remark brought forth a little laugh at his own expense - the detective had been called a basic bitch on more than one occasion, & he wore that title with pride, ever convinced that people who didn’t like cozy lattes were missing out.

But of course, his devilishly handsome companion was there to distract his thoughts, effortlessly stealing away his attention. His sultry flirtations beneath the table were met with delight, matched in fervor. No, the detective didn’t understand what James had said, but the tone in which he spoke that single pretty word had his heart skipping a beat, as did that devilish smile, the unbroken gaze. The touch was returned, causing a faint shiver as his breath caught in his throat that James’ retort. He wouldn’t have minded one bit, & his own wicked little half-smile said as much. “Patience is a virtue, James,” Connor practically cooed, his voice just a bit more hushed, a little husky. “But as a humble sinner, you have me sorely tempted.” If either of them had an ounce of shame, it wasn’t present here. So engrossed in their own little world, Connor couldn't make himself care if anyone heard. “You may just convince me into a confessional booth, yet. As long as we can share, that is.” He let James’ imagination run wild with that imagery, cutting himself another piece of fish to enjoy.

Savoring the moment along with the flavor & texture of his meal, Connor indulged openly in James’ attention. He wondered just how long this thing between them would last, if it would turn into a long distance relationship sooner rather than later. While the DPD had their own proceedings with the case which had brought them together, Rome had its own agenda. It had Connor daring to ask a question that he almost didn’t want the answer to, as the potential heartache to follow had him nervous. “How long do you think you’ll stay?” Not long, he expected. The idea made his chest ache. “I might be presumptuous here, because of Mr. Moore’s passing. But you don’t seem the type to stay in one place very long.” There & gone again like a ghost - it felt accurate, & equally disheartening. Was it too soon to admit that he wanted the priest to stay? “I’m just hopeful that you won’t suddenly disappear on me.”

"Me too. As ridiculous as it might sound... doesn't feel completely terrible to finally admit it to someone. Especially someone outside the usual conscription." By that, he primarily meant those of the supernatural community. At least, that was what James liked to call them, though he knew the Vatican and many of his peers had far more colourful terms for them. But admittedly, despite everything, despite his orders, what he was taught to think about the sometimes seedier sides of the world, he couldn't hate them. Vampires, werewolves, fae, the list was endless, but it didn't mean that every single one of them was evil. He'd met beings from either side, the good, the bad and some who seemed to linger somewhere in between, viewing the world and everything in it with a sense of neutrality. The funny thing was, he could understand every single side, they all had their reasons, he'd seen some for himself, but at the end of the day, it was their actions that really defined them and ultimately made James' decision about whether or not to hunt them down or turn a blind eye and let them go about their business.

That was another layer he may ease the detective into. Demons being real was one thing, but reminding him that it meant Heaven, Hell and angels were real was another, only to be topped by the fact that all manner of other beings existed too. He really meant it when he'd said that it all changed a person's outlook on the entire world. Darkness had a different feel to it, knowing that once the sun went down, it wasn't just mortal night owls that came out for their nightshifts, there were vampires seeping out into the world to start their day only to recoil back into the safety of their homes once the sun began to rise again. Or something as simple as looking up at the breathtaking sight of the full moon and knowing that somewhere, there were people in agonizing pain as their bodies twisted and contorted into a massive beast. That was just the surface, the most known types, the Brit could do on forever about all the different variations of those as well, then keep going for everything else that was blundering around on the planet that didn't quite fit into the human or seemingly 'normal' world.

A conversation for another time. The first hurdle was letting the guy wrap his mind around the whole exorcist thing, any further details could wait, so long as the reality of it didn't hit the guy like a train and send him scampering off as far away from the priest as possible.

Not that he'd entirely blame him, of course.

"I don't know... who am I to judge someone on how their mind works? Coming from someone who's fluent in sarcasm, I reckon there's more than a couple people out there who'd have a thing or two to say about how mine works as well." Perhaps further proven by those few sentences, as if that was even needed at this point. His wit really was the thing that kept him going, softened those hardest moments, whether for him or for others around him. It had worked so far and he wasn't about to try and shed it now. He wasn't even sure he could even if he wanted to, that old saying 'can't teach an old dog new tricks' quickly came to mind. Of course, James could pretend, he could act like someone else for a while if it got him where he needed, or the information he was looking for, but it wasn't something that could keep it up for long, that smart tongue of his was just too sharp to keep restrained for any real amount of time.

"'But the lord said unto Samuel, look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the lord looketh on the heart'." Even he found himself amused at how easily the words came to him, smirking a little as he prodded at the battered fish on his plate with his fork. "Sorry, seems my priestliness comes with me even when I'm not in uniform." He teased a little, an evidently amused look sweeping across his face as he cut a piece of fish and shoved it into his mouth. Though after a few happy chews of it, that smile returned again, slyly glancing back down at his food. "Just something you'll have to get used to..." If the guy decided he didn't mind it, or felt that he could stomach all of the clergyman and his little quirks.

It seemed the pair of them already had visions of seeing one another again, maybe even on something of a regular basis, something more than just friends, maybe? Or perhaps he was being too presumptuous, once again needing to remind himself that it was never that simple. For a moment, he could enjoy it though, right? Pretend as if they could go off into the sunset hand in hand and nothing could touch them? "Well, next time I pop back across the pond to the old stomping ground, I'll let you know. A night in the town, couple drinks at a local watering hole, some greasy fish and chips from a late-night takeaway then back to a hotel where we can sin to our heart's content." There was no veil about those last words, barely even an innuendo as he made it quite clear that he did indeed have somewhat -- - carnal, leaning about the man opposite him.

One more sin to add to the list. He'd soon run out of ink at this rate.

He half lamented the fact that he didn't have a house back in England now, long since selling up and making his primary residence in Rome. Most of the time when he returned to the UK, if he was nipping back home to the north of England, he'd reach out to his old friends and let them know he'd be in the area, usually being welcomed with open arms into their homes for the few days that he'd be there. When he was elsewhere in the country, or even in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, he just booked himself into a hotel, mostly sticking to the cheaper side of things. It was mainly when the Vatican itself tried to take some control of where he stayed that he'd be thrown into somewhere a bit more luxurious, making the Brit feel rather out of place. Not that he'd say no to some luxury while it was there, maybe go for a swim, a few bottles of champagne, just to round things off.

Was it wrong that he was already toying with the idea of Connor being there with him? The pair of them lounging around in some fancy suite, wearing big fluffy dressing gowns, with a bottle of champagne on ice next to them? He really needed to slow down, ground himself, feeling not too unlike a young man again with all these fanciful notions springing to mind.

"If you think tomato sauce is beyond the pale, you should see what we put on them at three in the morning." Notably thinking back to many a night merry night that rounded off at a local chip shop where the group would drown themselves in ridiculously battered foods and sauces that would likely be the last thing someone should consume after a hefty night of drinking. "Curry sauce is usually top of the list. Pour that sucker over it and... there you have it, some fine British cuisine. Partly borrowed, mind." A smirk left him at that, not being able to hold it in any longer as he put another piece of fish in his mouth. The only reason he hadn't asked about curry sauce there was because he didn't imagine they had any, and if they did, he'd probably get some strange looks for asking. If they weren't British, there was a strong chance they wouldn't really understand it. He didn't fully understand it himself, now that he thought about it, it was just normal back home.

Yet as he looked back down at his food, going for a few chips this time, it was the foot against his ankle that had the Englishman pause for a moment, sly blue eyes lifting to stare across the table. His smile grew to match his gaze, thoroughly amused as he popped a few chips into his mouth. "Mmm, sfacciato..." The man purred in fluent Italian, not minding whether or not Connor understood him, he liked to think that his manner made it quite clear what he was saying, transcending spoken language altogether. With a growing curve of his lips, he turned his foot, running the toe of his shoe up the inside of the detective's leg a little higher, never breaking eye contact for a single second. "Keep going like that and I just might have to skip to dessert right here and now..." He'd let Connor's mind envision what he meant, already having more than a few ideas himself.

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When They Call You Clingy So You Distance Yourself PT. 3 | Hyungline

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Suicide

Pt1, Pt2 Maknaeline

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BANGCHAN|

You ran your fingers through your hair as you walked up to your front door.

The past week had already been stressful enough. After arriving at the airport, you realized that somewhere between you getting off the plane and getting to your parents' car your phone had fallen out of your pocket. You had to attend a funeral, your flight home had been pushed back by a day, and you still had a shit ton to do before you moved. Not to mention it ate at you the entire week that you were gone all you could think about was the argument you and Chris had.

Overall you felt absolutely shitty and you just wanted to crash.

You unlocked your door and slipped your shoes off and walked into the kitchen and set your purse down. You had left your luggage in the foyer, and were contemplating how nasty it would be just to leave your things in there until you unpacked at your new place.

You made your way into your room and flicked on your light and gave out a quiet yelp when you noticed someone in your bed.

Your heart slowed slightly when you realized that it was Christopher in your bed, hugging the bear he bought you in Europe when he was on tour.

He was curled in a fetal position, and knowing his nature, you knew he must have been staying in your room the entire week you were gone.

Your heartbeat sped up as you walked over to him, knowing what confrontation awaited.

He whimpered quietly in his sleep. Sadly.

"Christopher." You whispered, shaking his shoulder slightly. He whimpered again and you could swear you heard him say your name.

He must be having a nightmare.

"Baby." You said shaking him awake, harder this time.

Chris startled awake and looked at you. He stared for a moment as if you weren't real.

"Y-Y/N?" He asked quietly.

"Hey-"

His chest collided with yours as he pulled you into an embrace, and you immediately felt his tears wet your shoulder.

"I-I'm s-sorry b-babe. I didn't m-mean any of it- I didn't pl-please d-don't l-leave me. I'll do any-anything. I'll qui-quit wo-working so I won-won't be stressed an-anymore. A-Anything I-I mean it-"

"Love, shhh. I'm not leaving you." You said as you stroked his hair. It felt gross, and he smelled a little stale, and he looked worn out overall. You could tell that he probably hadn't moved much all this week.

"Did you really stay in my bed waiting for me to come back?" You asked quietly. He let out a whine into your shoulder refusing to let you go.

"Chris, I promise I'm not leaving you."

"But the boxes..."

You chuckled and stroked his hair again. "I'm moving, yes. But not away from you. The neighborhood I live in isn't the safest, and I figured you would like it better if I moved closer to the dorms, so you didn't have to travel as far in the opposite direction of your home." Chris still held onto you, and you could feel the downturn of his lips pressed into your shoulder like a soft kiss.

"You didn't answer my calls...I thought you broke up with me..."

You sighed and pushed him away from you slightly and you could see his heart sink a little until you kissed the edge of his lips, his slight stubble exfoliating your own.

"While I will admit, what you said wasn't very kind of you...I know that isn't you." You murmured, caressing his cheek. His brown eyes were wide and sad but filled with hope. "I understand you were stressed, and I understand I can be clingy at times, but that's only because I have so much love and affection for you, I have to get it out in a physical way. Or else I might actually explode." You giggle as you pinch his cheek.

His eyes widen slightly, and he opens his mouth to speak but you press your finger to his lips.

"Let me finish. I didn't answer your calls because I lost my phone at the airport when I went home. My cousin's spouse took her life so I went to go attend the funeral. I wasn't informed until a few days before, so I went to the studio to tell you I was leaving." You let out a breath. "I also wanted to ask you while I was there is you could help me finish packing since I have to be moved out in two days."

Chris looked at you. "I'm sorry for your loss, baby. I'm also so-"

"Shhhhhh." You said placing a quick yet super soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you for your condolences. But don't apologize for snapping at me Chris. I already forgave you the minute you did it."

His bottom lip trembled, and he started to cry, little hiccups coming through as he still apologized, even though you knew he meant it when you said he didn't. He repeatedly apologized.

"You're too good for me." He said once he calmed down, his quiet sniffles and hiccups infrequent.

"And you're too handsome for me." You said as you kissed the tip of his nose.

"You're beautiful though. Way more than me." He said staring holes into you. "When we get married and have kids I want them to look exactly like you."

You laughed and shook your head. "They need your smile though, which I have yet seen you give since I arrived." Your voice held mock sternness as you tried to look serious but ended up letting out a loud chuckle.

He was finally able to give you and actual smile, and his adorable little giggle finally peeked through. You poked your pinkie in his dimple and he giggled again.

You ruffled his hair once and then made a face.

"You need to go shower, love." You said your nose wrinkling.

He pouted and wrapped his hands around you, laying his head on your stomach. "Mmmm, just a couple more minutes. Let me hold you."

You sighed, a smile on your face as you looked down at the boy you knew you would spend the rest of your life with. You scratched his head affectionately.

"Who is the clingy one now?"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

MINHO|

"Y/N!" Minho had been running around for almost an hour. His voice was hoarse and the wind was biting at him through his coat as he ran. Knowing your stubborn ass you had probably only left the hotel in a thin jacket, with one or two layers at most.

He took a second to catch his breath and looked around. "Y/N!"

He was about to start off in a different direction when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Did you find her?" Minho asked when he picked up a call from Jisung. All the members of both Stray Kids and TWICE were looking for you.

"Sort of? She asked me to go pick her up from in front of the Louvre - she said she lost track of time but she's too scared to-"

Minho started running again. "Thank you! I'll call you when I have her-" He hung up and felt his legs move faster than he thought was humanly possible.

Please God...Universe...whoever please just please let her be okay.

He arrived and he looked around for you. When he didn't see you he started to panic until he noticed your figure swamped in one of is hoodies hunched over on a bench dozing off.

"Y/N!"

You perked your head up and saw your boyfriend running towards you, his long coat nearly flying off his shoulders.

He stopped in front of you and you braced yourself for him to start yelling at you after he caught his breath.

But instead of yelling at you his pants turned into desperate weeps.

"Minho-"

He fell down on his knees and you quickly joined him on the ground.

"You-you scared me I tho-thought..." He couldn't even look at you.

"I'm sorry Minho, I didn't mean to...I..." Your voice was wobbly. You hadn't ever seen Minho cry before in the entire time you had been together. You didn't know how to comfort him, or what to say to get his cries to stop.

It made you want to cry how vulnerable he sounded. How weak and broken.

"Its not safe here. Anywhere. Thats why I was so scared." He whispered looking up at you, his eyes rimmed red. "One of the girls said they couldn't find you and I panicked. I've been running around for almost three hours."

You felt a pang of guilt strike you in your heart.

"I-I'm so-sorry..." You began to tear up as the pain of being mad at Minho seemed to hit you like a ton of bricks. You missed your boyfriend. "I'm sorry for being clingy too. I thought you wanted to be alone so I hung out with the girls...but I felt like maybe they'd think I was clingy too so I thought I would just spend today alone-"

"Y/N stop. First off the girls will never and I mean never find you clingy." He wiped his face and chuckled, a small smile forming on his face. "We were in a meeting last week and they were playing rock paper scissors over who gets to marry you. I told them that you were mine and Tzuyu said 'did you guys hear something?'"

He licked his lips and took a breath. "Secondly you don't need to apologize, Jagiya...all of this...this was my fault. I shouldn't have called you clingy. Because your clinginess...its something I love. Adore even. You know how to respect boundaries when needed as well. But it's obvious I have work to do on that, because I crossed a line I never should have crossed. So I am so, so, sorry Y/N. I'm sorry that I can't manage my frustrations in a way that won't hurt you. And I'm sorry that I'm horrible at communicating. I'm sorry that I say things that never should come out of my mouth."

You look at your boyfriend and the sincerity in the words his is saying. You swallow as he continues.

"I'm sorry that I cause more trouble than it's worth sometimes. That I make things a little more stressful than they need to be as well. I'm sorry that I can't express my love in the way you need either." He takes a shaky breath and he looks at you; your hear thumping in your chest at his apology.

"I love you. I love you. So much, Y/N. But I struggle to express that love and affection properly...which isn't fair to you." He lets go of your hand and you instinctively reach out for the warmth of it again. He lifts up one of his knees from the ground.

"So please be patient with me. Be patient with me so you understand the depth of my love for you. It is going to take a long time...if I had to guess..."

He pulled out a navy blue velvet box from his coat pocket. You watched as he opened it and a dainty but elegant ring was placed in there.

"It will the take the rest of my life to be able to show you." His voice trailed off and he trailed his eyes up to yours as he waited for you to say something...anything.

"I love you Y/N L/N."

You shook your head. Minho felt his heart start to shatter until you giggled and wiped away your tears.

"You idiot, it's Lee. Not L/N. Lee." You held your hand out and Minho slid the ring on your finger, his own trembling.

"I'm sorry I ruined your elaborate proposal."

Minho cocked his head as he helped you up, pulling you as close as humanly possible to his side so he could wrap you up in his coat as well.

"How did you know about that?"

"Jisung told me when I called him earlier..."

Minho chuckled as you guys walked along.

"Thats why we should probably wait to tell him about our engagement." You admired your ring with a bright smile.

Minho shook his head. "I'm gonna tell him when we get back. Because I want the world to know."

You looked at each other and immediately bursted out laughing because you both had the same thought.

"And that will be the quickest way for them to know."

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CHANGBIN|

Changbin had sped past three red lights to get here.

He would not lose you. He couldn't. The past couple of weeks had been grueling for him.

Your presence was something he was missing in his life. And that furthermore showed him how much he needed you.

How desperate he was to keep you.

He pulled into the lot illegally and ran into the small coffee shop. All the memories he had with you flooded his mind, since this was you and his favorite coffee shop. He had just been so busy that you guys never had time to come here anymore. It was more than half an hour away from your house and his dorm. And even further from the studio.

He scanned the small area and almost immediately pinpointed you with another person. A guy.

He was in a nice outfit as well. Very clean and put together. Lean and tall.

He watched as you both got up and hugged each other and watched as you smiled brightly at the guy and laughed at something he said.

"Alright I'll see you Wednes-"

"No! You will not see her Wednesday!" Changbin said as he pulled you from the guys embrace. "Listen, I don't know who you think you are but I'm her boyfriend! And she hasn't properly broken up with me yet so you can't have her! And if even if she did I wouldn't allow it!" He stared the guy down. Or rather up.

Damn he's even taller than he looked.

"Y/N-ie did you not tell-"

"I'm the only one who can call her that! Well...me and the guys but you're not the guys so you can't." Changbin mumbled angrily like a frustrated toddler.

"Changbin! Quit being such a fucking dumbass!" You said smacking him above the head lightly. You turn to guy and apologize profusely. "I'm sorry, Bin is a little...possessive." A nervous laugh escaped you. "Like a Chihuahua...but not the kind quiet sweet ones more like the ones who have a bark bigger than themselves." You said looking at your boyfriend with frustration in the lines of your face.

He looked down as you apologized to the guy once more.

"It's okay Y/N-ie...I think this is a memorable meeting. I'll definitely bring it up in my speech when you guys get married." He laughed. "I'm Justin Kim. Y/N's brother-in-law." He held his hand out and Changbin looked between the two of you. Justin had a smile on his face while you were looking at Changbin with annoyance.

"Ah! I'm so sorry...uh..."

"I think I'm older than you but I didn't grow up using honorifics so you can just call me Justin."

Changbin bowed and apologized, but held his hand out to shake.

"My wife and I are moving here settling down here soon. She's back home but will be here next week with the last of our things. She was stationed here for a little bit when she was in the military and loved it and since her only sister found love here and doesn't have much time to come see her since she's dating an idol, she thought it would be nice to move here. I agreed since it is beautiful, and this where our family is." He motioned his head towards you.

"Although she might be a little upset that I met you before she did. Especially since she'll be entrusting you too take care of her little sister...although I feel like its more so because she's quite a big fan of you guys. Ever since Y/N-ie said she was dating an idol she's been keeping up with culture and your band, so she can better understand."

Justin smiled and looked over at you. "I'll uh...let you guys talk though. Y/N-ie I'll have your sister call you when I get home. She might be a little flippy floppy though because she went through the stock of pregnancy cravings I bought her." He hugged you one last time and pulled Changbin into a hug as well before walking off.

"Changbin are you really that idiotic?" You looked at your boyfriend and he tried to sputter out a response, but you interrupted him befroe he could form coherent words. "I think you are, I fear." You let out a defeated sigh as you slunk back into your chair. You looked tired.

"Jiwon, can you grab me my usual. And do you remember Binnie's?" Changbin turned to see a barista nod at you and start to prepare your order. He sat down across from you and quickly realized that he was mistaken about a lot of things.

"Binnie I would never break up with you. I may break your head open because sometimes my God I want to slap you upside it so hard, but I would never break your heart." The sigh you let out was deafening. "If you were so jealous about me talking and hanging out with Minho so much why didn't you tell me? You really think flirting with a barista to make me jealous is a good idea, babe? Really?" Jiwon placed two drinks in front of you guys. "Chan told me. I think he spotted it pretty quickly, and noticed how you were turning down her advances when I wasn't around. Also, rather rudely too apparently - because Seo Changbin what do mean to tell me when Chris said you made a gagging noise at the poor girl!"

Changbin's eyes widened, and his lip popped out in a small pout. "I'm sorry Y/N."

"It's okay Binnie. But there isn't a need to be jealous baby. I'm not leaving you for Minho, he's just an extremely close friend. I'm not leaving you for anyone else period. And I'm sure as hell not going on any dates. I had to dress nicely because we were doing a photoshoot." You gestured to the cafe you guys were currently sitting in. "Justin and I are going to be co-owners. I thought it would be nice to have a location closer to where we live so we can go more often, and that one little restaurant closed down so I thought it would be a good opportunity." A soft smile painted your face. "And it's partially selfish reasons...I can't help but think of us when I think of this place."

Changbin's heart swelled with affection. So much affection that it hurt him.

"So while I have been upset with you for the past three weeks I'm over it Binnie. I miss you so much." Changbin got up and moved next to you.

"You mean it?"

You chuckled and placed a kiss on his lips. "100%." You said connecting them again, a little bit more passionately, but pulling back when you felt a mass amount of messages come through your phone, and then it immediately started ringing. Changbin pouted as he stared at your lips as they turned into a nervous grin.

"Although...you might have a shit show in store when it comes to my older sister."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

HYUNJIN|

You sat with Hyunjin the couch as you two watched your favorite series together. Today was your yearlong anniversary. You had been in bright spirits for the occasion as you guys went out and did things together.

Hyunjin slowly ran his long fingers through your hair, and he felt you slowly dozing off.

"Baby..." Hyunjin whsipered, "Are you sleepy?"

"Hmm, just a little..."

"Can we talk?" Hyunjin paused the show, not giving you a choice.

You sat up and you felt your heart thump in your chest.

"Yeah we need to."

Hyunjin nodded. "You go first."

"No you"

You both spoke at the same time.

"Marry me-"

"We should break up-"

You looked at Hyunjin dumbfounded and he looked at you with utter digust.

"First off... that is utterly disgusting that you would even consider breaking up with me? What are you some sadist? Deriving pleasure from my pain and humiliation?" He said putting a hand to his chest dramtically.

You looked at him with wide eyes. "W-Well are you some sort of crazy person?! What the hell do you mean marry me?!"

Hyunjin pouted. "Well you can call me crazy all you want I'm being serious." He ran a hand through his brown bangs. "We've been together a year. And I know I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And I know for a fact you do because how the heck could you not want to marry me? I mean we'll quite literally be the most beautiful couple God has ever put on this earth." He said rolling his eyes in a joking manner.

You didn't see amused, rather your lip was shaking slightly and your eyes watering.

Hyunjin bit his cheek and pulled out a little ring from his pocket.

"It's a little cliche, I know. And some will probably say too soon. But I know what I want." He said quietly.

He took a breath and spoke slowly, switching to his native language.

"Cling to me Y/N. For the rest of your life. Ask me how you look. Let my eyes cling to you when I admire you. Let my words cling to you when I say just how beautiful you are. Cling yourself to me every night before we fall asleep, and let me cling to you every morning when we wake up. Let yourself cling onto me when you feel like you aren't enough, and let me cling onto you so I can show the world that you are enough-that you are more than enough; and you will always be more than enough. Let me cling to you in the times where I feel you need reassurance, and I'll let you cling to me the times where you feel like I'm not sufficient enough. We may not be perfect but Y/N no couple is. I don't care what people think about us. We can be perfectly imperfect together. I'll let you cling to me so those hateful words have no room to stick. I'll let you cling to me so everyone around us knows that I am not me without you. That you're the one who completes me. Cling to me so tightly that if God forbid you ever leave you would take everything of me with so no o that no one else could ever cling to me. Because I won't let anyone else do that. No matter how much they claim to know what is best for me, they don't. Because if they did, they would know that it's you. And it will always be you. Thats why I'm so sure of this."

He slid the ring on your finger, as you watched him admire it on your hands. He didn't look up as he murmured quietly.

"Cling to me Y/N...I'm begging you."

You looked at Hyunjin and felt a few tears fall onto your hand as he held it with both of his own.

"You...you knew?"

Hyunjin shook his head. "Not when I said what I said. But Y/N I swear I didn't mean it in a mean way." He looked up at you helplessly. "In retrospect now I realize they meant it in a vicious way but...I genuinely thought that clinginess was a good thing. Isn't that how it's supposed to be when you love someone? Aren't you supposed to want to be with them?"

His brown eyes searched your face. "Because that's how it is for me. How it will always be. I don't want it to be any other way."

You felt your eyes prick up with tears.

"Did you really mean it when you said you want to break up?" He whimpered.

You shook your head aggressively. "No, Hyunjin no- I was just feeling insecure. I see how everyone reacts at us and sometimes I feel like I'll never be accepted as being your girlfriend."

"Fiancée." He corrected. "If they won't accept you as my girlfriend then I'll make them accept you as my fiancée. And if they want to be asses after that than tough luck because if anyone dares to not accept you as my wife than I'll find a way to deal with them." He said in complete seriousness.

You couldn't help but laugh as you moved your hands to cup Hyunjin's cheeks.

"Hyunjin I haven't said yes." You said quietly.

He gives you a determined look. "But you will say yes..."

He waited patiently for you to say yes.

"Jagiya. Three letters. Y-E-S. You just have to move your mouth to say it." He said stubbornly.

You shook your head.

"I'm not going to say yes Hyunjin."

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest but instead you kissed him lightly, resting your forehead against his own.

"You won't say yes?" He whined.

"Nope."

"Why not...do you not want to say yes? Can you give me a straight answer Jagiya? Because I won't accept it until you say no. Until then I'll assume you are just being stubborn."

You smiled as your eyes met. Hyunjin looked at you waiting for you're answer. Which was so much more than a yes.

"I'll cling to you Hyunjin. Always. As long as you promise to do the same."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

@hardladytale @yaorzu-blog @viola-celine @jiminssluttyminx @pearl-monkeys @wave2ivy @keshet2k @dreammix88 @mysticalhumano @hannahlolo @periodpoops @m1rroh @seungmyynie @beebee18 @theodorenottgf @qrstarz @xocandyy @stay-tiny-things @vixensss @bo-fairykim @conwunder @parisanmorovati @lovesunshinefelix @hyunjins-dimples @ka0ila @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @chuuyaobsessed @dollschan @katexstay @lisunny2 @abovenyx @adrisiwiris @dontwannaexist @minsungsthirdwheel @ray0magdalene @maaayytyroshka @ddiidi

(if I missed you I'm so so sorry <3)

[crystaza]

you're actually pretty close! they're playing tag across europe (it's a rematch, they played it last summer & they're about to start their second season of it this year!)

i didn't think i'd actually get close lmao.

[morgue-friends]

"A Maiden's Token" | Count Orlok x Female! Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, dub-con, count orlok is his own warning, blood kink, penis in vagina sex, sexual tension, creampie, oral (f receiving), death is mentioned, no aftercare, reader probably has stock-holm syndrome.

Fourteen days, that's how long you've been here. That's how long you've been left on your own every daybreak and then expected to entertain death itself every evening. As the sunset on the snowy horizon, you made your way back into the castle, dragging your tattered dress by what remained left of it through the snow. Upon entry, you were shocked to see that the fireplace was still lit. Occasionally, it would flicker out during sunset as if the castle consciously knew a force of darkness would be awakening.

With a sigh, you lifted your dress and dropped down by the fireplace suddenly out of breath. Maybe it was the consistent blood loss or the freezing temperatures of the European mountains that you were succumbing to. As far as you knew, he hadn't given you any reason to believe that you'd have an extended stay at the castle. At the end of the day, your chances of reaching the next morning relied solely on the temperament of a man. Your mother had taught you well enough about men to know that when they get bored, they tend to move on.

You felt the presence of tears threatening to depart from your eyes as you thought of your poor mother. She must be so worried and heartbroken. Ever since the two of you arrived in Europe after leaving America, her overprotectiveness of you has grown enormously. When you told her of a Count from a neighboring country requesting your services for painting a self-portrait of him within his own castle, she warned you against going and you decided to shelve away her concerns as mere fairytales. You gripped the silver locket necklace hanging around your neck for security and sighed. Your mother had gifted you this locket on your most recent birthday, and holding it helped you think of all your fondest memories with her.

Now, here you sit, sleep deprived and undernourished. He left you only bread, some grapes, wine, and a bucket of water. You were thankful for the water as you refused to be inebriated in your current situation. It was almost shocking to see he had the decency to have the water refilled each day, but you knew it was only because he'd hate to let his food source run dry.

Suddenly, you were startled when you heard the pouring of wine into a goblet behind you. You hadn't even heard him ascend up the stairs of the castle, and yet there he was in his full glory at the head of the dining table. Now, whether he did ascend the stairs and walk right past you or he simply just appeared at the table was something only god himself would know.

"You have been crying." The Count's thick accent hung heavy in the air, his voice sending a rippling wave of goosebumps over your skin. The tone of his voice was accusatory and not at all sympathetic. Even with English clearly not being his first language, you could hear his overwhelming disappointment. Over the two weeks he's kept you here his English had somewhat improved either by hearing you speak it whether you were asking to excuse yourself to find somewhere to use the bathroom in the empty bucket he gave you. Or from your begging and pleading for him to just let you go home.

Your cold hands desperately wiped the tears from your eyes, and you stood to your feet. He watched you approach the elegant dining table, and you took your seat as far as you could away from him. It was painfully obvious that this night would go just about the same as every other night. You two would intensely stare at eachother while you'd ate your bread for dinner, he'd make you get up and walk to the guest bedroom where he'd make you strip naked and feed from you and then you'd pass out from the pain and awake in the morning to the Count missing and nowhere to be found.

It wasn't even like he needed to feed from you. From your understanding, as he explained it, he'd go into the nearby village and 'have his fill' after he had siphoned a small amount from you. It made you feel like some kind of appetizer or twisted desert for him to be keeping you alive this long. Even with his figure shrouded in darkness, you could still tell by his posture that he was growing impatient with waiting for you to finish your 'dinner'. It was almost like the flickering flame of every candle avoided his very figure as if the fire itself was scared of this entity.

When you finally finished, you stood up from the table and waited till he rose from his seat before you allowed him to lead you to the guest room. You had gotten so used to his grotesque heavy breathing that when he suddenly stopped, the silence was deafening.

"You are crying again." At least when he said it this time, he sounded somewhat amused. It was like he knew that you've accepted your fate and that there wasn't anything you or god could do about it. The door to the guest room opened slowly without him having to touch the handle, and you stepped inside, fingers already loosening the ties of your corseted dress. "Forgive my tears, my Lord." You cringed at the title you gave him. Of course, an entity this dark would be so egotistical to have you address him as a Lordship. You had wondered if this kind of evil was something that would come from inside someone or from the beyond.

"Why would I need to forgive such fragility? You are a human girl. It is in your nature to be weak and fragile." A vein could have popped in your forehead, and you wouldn't have even known it. His words made you seethe and boil with anger, you had to bite your tongue so hard not to say anything that would get him to eviscerate you on the spot.

"Ah, there she is, my cochetă, my minx, be angry so that all your blood may flow freely." Your body winced at the nickname he gave you. He had called you it frequently rather than your real name. Even when you had unknowingly signed away yourself to him in a contract, he addressed you only by 'cochetă' which he explained was romanian for Minx since you weren't at all fluent with the language yet. You dropped your dress and undergarments off in a chair away from that bed so that you may spare it from any more trauma. After taking your seat on the bed, you draped the blood-stained blanket over your shoulders in an attempt at making you feel like you haven't soiled your modesty.

"I have seen all you have to offer. You will not hide from my eyes." With in an instant, you removed the blanket, not from your own will but because he compelled you to do so. Another tear fell down the side of your face, and this one he wiped away with the side of one of his long pointed nails. Your head fell back onto the mattress, and the Count leaned over you and dropped his face to below your exposed left breast. His breath against your skin felt like ice, and you shut your eyes in order to brace for the pain that never came.

Instead of the feeling of two fanged teeth penetrating your heart, you felt the knuckle of one of his fingers brush against your clit and your back arched. Your eyes widened, and you sat up to meet his stare. There he stood, completely unafflicted by your reaction. In fact, it was almost as if you were the one who did something wrong. Impulsively, a heat pooled in your lower abdomen, it's warmth radiating down your legs. You squeezed your eyes shut in hopes to catch your breath and calm yourself down. What he did to you was only causing a natural response from your body, and you had no control over such responses.

Nonetheless, you still felt the urge to mentally shame yourself for being a such sinful whore who's body responds like that to the touch of something - someone so heinous. It was almost as if the devil himself had cursed you with such blasphemy with the way your nipples hardened to a peak and your thighs squeezed together, trying to prevent you losing yourself to sin any further.

You didn't even open your eyes back up when you felt his cold hand grab a hold of one of your thighs, you were then pulled further down the mattress closer to the edge of the bed and to him. A hand that was so cold that it felt like it was devoid of any life and any warmth worked it way up your chest and grabbed one of your breasts. You bit your lip to hold back a gasp when the peak of your nipple was rubbed back and forth by his thumb. It wasn't until you felt the contact of his mouth around one of your nipples that your eyes shot wide open.

You looked down to see that he had your left breast peaked in his mouth while he suckled on your nipple. Your body betrayed you once again, and that heat you were feeling at your core seemed to grow much hotter. A swipe of his cold tongue against your nipple made you look down again, and you got a good look at the head of the man doing this to you. He had since discarded his hat in the dining room, and now you have a much closer look at the spirit you were dealing with. The back of his head was rotten and decayed even under the several thin tufts of brown hair on his head. It felt like you were looking at a corpse of a man that should have been locked far away in a coffin in the depths of hell.

You weren't even paying attention when a hand parted your thighs and brought attention back to your clit, he pulled back the hood and started rubbing slow deliberate circles around it, being mindful of his claws. He switched to your right breast, and at this point, there was no use controlling your gasps and whimpers anymore. He was so gentle with you. Maybe this was foreshadowing that tonight would be the night he'd finally get rid of you, and this was just him rubbing salt in the wounds and making the evening last as long as possible. He'd never touched your nether regions before, but when he fed from the blood of your heart, he'd often rub his hands around your waist as if he was mockingly consoling you the way a lover would.

The hairs of his thick mustache tickled your nipple and you weren't ready for when he dragged downward a long lick from your breast, to over your stomach and then finally stopping at the mound between your legs. You exhaled deeply when he resumed and dragged his blackened tongue down your slit, getting a taste of your wetness in his mouth. This wasn't something you should be enjoying, just the symphony of approving noises that left your lips made you feel appalled with yourself. It wasn't until you felt his lips lock around your clit that you became heavy lidded and utterly defeated.

You settled with the idea that he's being so cautious with you because he's going to make you reap what you sowed when it was time for him to experience his own pleasure. And regardless of how good he made you feel in this very moment, you still hated him. He tricked and imprisoned you in this hellish imitation of a castle. He left you alone and unattended during the day, allowing a pack of wolves to ensure you never take your leave. It was because of him that your mother was a several weeks journey away, worried sick about you, and you weren't even sure if you'd ever see her again.

You were on the verge of crying again until he rose to his feet, his figure demanding your full attention. His clawed hands fiddled with the buttons of his trousers, and your breath hitched. The hefty fur cape he wore would frequently would drape over his frame and seculde him in almost total darkness. You never knew what his daily wear looked like since he seemed content in hiding in the shadows of your vision only to reveal slightly more of himself to you when he fed from your body. What came to your vision when he glanced back at you was the erect bulbous head of his cock. It was engorged and jutted upward toward the ceiling as if it demanded your gaze on it.

He crept closer to you, staring intensely as if trying to gauge your state of mind, trying to see whether you were going to fight or flee. Instead, you just allowed your head to fall back onto the mattress. It was pointless to do either of those, and deep down in the darker realms of your subconscious, this behavior from him was welcomed. When the head of his thick member prodded at your entrance, your breath hitched, and you closed your eyes tightly.

Instead of thrusting inside, he thrusted his shaft upward, dragging it along your slit to coat himself in your wetness. When the shaft slid up against your clit you couldn't help but mewl out, still feeling that knot in your lower belly that was just waiting to be undone. When he finally seized the moment to thrust inside you, your eyes shot open, burning and stinging with tears. The Count let out what sounded like an inhuman hiss as his length seeped into your heat, inch by inch. The stretch was almost unbearable. It felt like you were being split right down the middle into two halves of yourself, and you weren't sure what half you pitied more. Your mouth opened to make a noise, but nothing came out. Such an intrusion of this nature left your throat speechless and strained. He pulled his hips back, and a clawed hand shot up to your face and held you in place upon his re-entry.

Those pointed nails of his were so sharp it felt like you had needles digging into your skin. Beads of red came into your vision dripping down your face from how much pressure those thick claws of his put into your flesh. When you tried to snatch your face away from his hand, he only pulled out and thrust into you more harshly. The squelching noise your cunt made around his length felt nothing short of sinful. To your disbelief, you learned he still had more of his shaft left to give you when he pushed himself further inward to the hilt. The thick head of his cock struck your cervix like hammer and a painful cramping sensation followed behind it. He hummed a noise of satisfaction as if he was he was impressed you were able to take all of him to the hilt.

Your breasts bounced on your chest when he roughly pulled out entirely only to shove himself back in. You gave a whine in response, and it was only then that he had seemingly guaged a fine line of pleasure and pain for you. Adjusting himself, he started up a pace of feverent rutting that made your legs tremble pitifully around his waist. The pressure of his hand on your face left when he leaned over to get a taste of the clotted blood that dotted across your forehead. His body was so much larger than your own that he had to contort himself over you to be able to taste the crimson he created and be able to continue his rutting.

The frequent movement of your body from the impact of his hips against yours was beginning to loosen that knot you felt in your belly. Your moans grew louder, and so did the beating of your heart against your rib cage. Inducing this creature to feed from you because your heart enticed him was the last thing you needed right now. The pace of his thrusts harshened, and so did the primal look he had in his eyes. Having him over you and staring at you like this, as if he were a lion and you were a weak gazelle soon to be eaten. For such an entity of darkness, he had such expressive eyes, sometimes they were so black you could see your reflection. Sometimes, they were so white and cloudy, you'd wonder where he had come from, heaven, hell, or neither.

"Please..." You weren't quite sure what you were begging for, but in your heart, it felt like it was for release. Release from the built-up pressure in your belly, release from the castle, or even release from life itself. Your hand reached up, and you cupped the flesh of his face. His skin was so cold, so rotten, and yet there was a feeling of life as if there was perhaps a soul present, but you knew better. There wasn't any life within him, as he was death itself. There was no soul within him, as he claimed the souls of others.

The closer his body, his cock, brought you to this peak of of pleasure that you pleaded for, the wider the smile grew on your face. A smile that didn't go unnoticed as his lips claimed the skin of your neck in what felt like possessive kisses. Perhaps this union of flesh solidified the extent of your stay at the castle through your own submission and your yield to the power he had over you. Those kisses trailed up to your own lips, and you tasted death from his mouth to yours. You tasted your own blood from him, and you tasted his hatred and his darkness, and yet you no longer had fear for it. With a painful clench of your walls, you came undone, your release washing over you in thick waves.

The spasming, clenching, and squeezing of your canal made the already deep and ragged breaths he took erratic, as did his rutting a few quick snaps of his hips and you felt a spurt of cold fluid inside you. The chill of it rose up your spine as it felt as if death itself had released into you. A deep animalistic growl vibrated off of the stone walls around you and bounced around in your skull. When he removed himself from you, you felt the remainder of his spent coat your inner thighs.

You looked away as you sat up on your own elbows, trying to balance yourself, and when you looked up, expecting to meet the eyes of a starving beast, you were met with an empty room. He had left you, spared you even. You couldn't imagine the type of carnage and havoc he'd wreak upon those villagers tonight. Reaching up to clutch your necklace for security and your hands found nothing but skin. He was gone and had taken your necklace with him. He took it as if you had bestowed upon him the honor of having a maiden's token.

[bootyliciousbeta]

sooooooooo if i were to hypothetically go to your work while shifted and you as a joke point out this co-worker and then for funsies I """""have a polite conversation""""" with them... like let's play pretend for a sec. no no like babe what if ahaha not that I would whatttttttt

my co-worker said that it's weird how i managed to get married when im so "boring"

[tumbler-fucking-sucks-goodbye]

So I saw this

And I was like, "Wait. I'm a maintenance man. I need to know about these toilets that chop."

So that's how I learned about macerating toilets.

So, in case you didn't know, there are toilets that chop, and they're called macerating toilets.