#{ oh my bad you said 'sad'? too bad have angst >:] }

[nan0-sp1der]

💔

CW: depictions of gore, religious imagery, and mature language

It was the last thing she could have anticipated happening. How, in this vast emptiness, was she receiving a distress call from the bunker? How could such a thing even be possible when they were all supposedly in a deep cryogenic sleep, unable to consciously bring themselves to any of the consoles to execute the code? Most importantly, why was this signal being sent out at all?

Not a second was spent speculating as she traveled as fast and as far as her legs would take her, the sand beneath her being kicked up behind her as a split in the desert was formed in her wake. Driven by fear, by the uncertainty of what she would find, she traveled at inhuman speeds to reach her destination: A twisted behemoth of steel that was at one point the doors to the subterranean bunker’s lift. She need not open the double doors as a massive hole was bored between them like the exit wound of a shotgun blast, which meant she only needed to walk into that gash to find the lift was still at the bottom of the shaft. Which meant

Someone… Someone was here. It can’t be, not–

She throws herself into the abyss, landing at the bottom with a harsh clank as her metal hooves and her one knee caught the fall, only denting the elevator pad more than it already had been before. Dust kicks up from the impact and obscures her vision briefly. Oh, how she wished she could have stayed blinded by that obfuscation. Truly, she wished she didn’t recognize the shapes lying on the ground after her eyes adjusted to the darkness, lying in puddles of scarlet and copper. Freshly spilled. She needn’t perform optical scans on any of them. It was made obvious by their lack of movement that they were recently deceased.

Her first instinct is to scream. Bellow into the empty corridor stretching out before her and to whatever force had carried out this blatant act of violence. It would achieve nothing in the end. So she pressed onward.

54 bodies. As she navigated through the halls of the underground facility, taking in the crude work that had been made of her fellow researchers, she counted a total of 54 bodies, most especially including the ones whose remains were made indistinguishable from scraps of meat one would discard from a beef cut. There was one more. One of them was missing. Who, who was missing? She could name all but one body, the samples she took of the carcasses allowing her to give names to all victims but one. Even without having a stomach, she thought she felt it drop as she knelt over one of the more in-tact bodies.

“... No. No, no, no, why…?”

Her footing comes to a halt at the edge of the garden’s tattered lawn.

She lifts her gaze to one last corridor. It was at the very back of the facility. Far removed from everything else in that building was one garden pavilion which was now shrouded in pitch black like the rest of the area. She felt the coolant pump in her chest lurch. Slowly, shakily, she rose to her feet once more to meander over to the beginning of that hall. She remembers this hall. Pure white, shrouded in the glow of fluorescent tubing and granting entry to that luscious greenery that she grew to know so well. No longer did she see that greenery in her vision as she stared into the room. All she saw now was rubble. And, she thinks she sees something else. Someone else.

Her faulty footing guided her down that corridor, stumbling, every joint in her metal frame nearly rattled as she forced herself to push forwards to find whatever lay at the end. She didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to know. She couldn’t accept what she knew was true, and yet she knew that she had no choice but to bear witness to the reality she helped give life to out of sheer negligence and her inability to enforce the same cruelty that was bestowed upon the only remnants of humanity that were left, that she was supposed to help thrive and advance.

By God, she couldn’t bring herself to describe what she saw. No living being should have to comprehend what she did. But, she did. Her savior lain out on a cross of iron that was ripped from the very walls of this room, leaving a great ravine where there was once a roof. Now there was only the surface above and its light that it cast down from it. The only tether she had to her sense of humanity was slain and hung to bleed herself dry on some tastelessly forged cross.

Cattle on a meat rack.

A joke.

A fucking joke.

Where the head of the body was, she didn’t know, but without investigating further she already knew who this was, as her wireframe glasses were left twisted to shit on the floor, one of the lenses shattered and tinged with ichor. Gabrielle. The final victim.

There wasn’t a single thought that ran through Bridge’s mind as she stared upon the monument of one of her greatest failures. It was a blaring silence. As loud as those sirens that rang in her head when she first received warning of what had unfolded here, the silence droned. In that silence something awful brewed. An emotion she never thought possible to manifest on her conscience, but found its way to her in her moment of weakness. Blinding, grating, overheating the circuit boards in her cranium.

White hot rage.

She has failed at the only thing she was meant to do. What she was made for.

Even though she was being drawn to that great hole in the ceiling to chase after the one who brought ruin to this place, she still found it in herself to pick up the damaged glasses from the floor. It was pointless, a meaningless gesture that would only serve as an object to tie to the memory. Though she realized that before she corrected her error, she would need to cement it in reality first. This was proof. Proof that she had failed. And she was taking it with her and existing in that reality whether she liked it or not.

It was time she shared the blame.

[yamujiburo]

Here's an arc I thought about doing but won't do because, it'd be a bit too sad and also it's too similar to the Turing Point Arc I already did and also it would be long. But I'll write it here for you angst enjoyers. This ended up being longer than I thought.

Despite getting the "okay" from Ash to date Jessie, Delia still worries that she's not doing the right thing or being a bad mom. Up until now she'd convinced herself that she had the right to be selfish for once after knowing only sacrifice and putting herself last.

Jessie and Ash, while not as antagonistic towards each other, still go at it. A Pikachu zap here, an angry "twerp" being uttered there. The guilt settles in for Delia and figures that it's best to just cut things off before things potentially get worse or before she gets too attached to Jessie. Her son comes first after all. That's what she signed up for when becoming a parent.

She sits Jessie down, eyes watery (it's the first time Jessie's ever seen Delia come close to crying). Delia says she thinks they should end things. Jessie is stunned but accepts it quickly. She sucks it up in the moment, puts a resigned smile on her face and tells Delia she'll leave immediately and not to worry about her. Delia's also broken up about it but promised herself she'd never cry over a goodbye and she wasn't gonna start now.

Jessie goes to James and Meowth's place greeted similarly to this, lightly teasing her about blowing it with Delia, and she breaks down sobbing. Oops it's real this time. James and Meowth do everything in their power to make her feel better. They let her know that things like this happen and they're ready to go wherever she wants to go (knowing that it'd likely be to painful for her to stay in Pallet). As much as she wants to leave, she doesn't want James and Meowth to lose the good thing they have going. She's not in the right headspace to make any decisions so she'll get to it later.

Ash returns home after doing a little training at Oak's lab. He notices Jessie's not around and asks his mom where she is. Delia is about to tell him but can't quite bring herself to say the truth out loud yet. She simply says "I don't know". Ash looks disappointed. "Aw man, I wanted to see if she wanted to battle. She makes a good battle buddy for all of my newer, baby Pokémon." Delia perks up that this. As quickly as he came, he leaves again to go train his Pokémon.

Later, Delia approaches Ash, asking him if he really meant that what he said about Jessie being a good battle partner. He gives her an enthusiastic "yeah!" and tells her that it's been nice having another battle ready trainer around since there's not many in Pallet. Delia starts to pry a little more. "I thought you and Jessie didn't get along?" Ash is confused, and tells Delia they get along great! "Jessie doesn't steal anymore! And she's getting better at battling which is cool." Delia brings up that she's head them argue before. "Oh... well I guess that's just how we are. I'd be weirded out if she was suddenly too nice to me all the time. Jessie's actually a lot like Misty. But taller!" This gives Delia a lot to think about but what's done is done and it's no use pressing on. It's easier this way.

The next morning Delia's getting ready for work. She must not have noticed that she was acting weird but Ash picks up on it. "What's wrong mom?" Delia's shocked he noticed (he's not usually this perceptive). She tells him it's nothing and that she just slept bad. "Hm. But Jessie says that when you're upset you get really quiet and intense." Delia notices that she was pretty intensely mixing the pancake batter. "Jessie told you that?" Ash nods. "Hey speaking of, where is Jessie? Haven't seen her since yesterday." Delia stops mixing and tells Ash that she and Jessie aren't together anymore. Ash is confused and upset at the idea of Jessie doing something that would hurt his mom enough for them to break up. Delia lets him know that Jessie didn't do anything like that and that them breaking up was just for the best. But Ash questions this, pointing out that he's never seen Delia as happy as she was when Jessie was there and also how Delia looks really sad now. Delia can't argue with that but then tells him that it's complicated. Ash, to Delia's surprise, looks a bit disappointed. He's bummed he wasn't able to say goodbye first and asks if she thinks Jessie would still be willing to come by and train with him sometimes. Delia asks him once more if he was really okay with her and Jessie dating. "Yeah I thought I said that already? Jessie's pretty cool when she's not being evil. And she really likes Pokémon which is a plus!" Such simple criteria. Delia's now worried that she might've made a mistake. She finishes making breakfast and heads to work.

At the restaurant she's met by James. She can feel an awkwardness hanging in the air. She knows that James knows. Before she can say anything James tells Delia thank you for employing him and helping him, Meowth and Jessie get back on their feet but that he's going to quit working at the restaurant and that they'll likely be leaving Pallet soon. Delia's heart sinks. There's now a ticking clock and she has to decide what she wants to do SOON. She asks James where Jessie is. James hesitantly tells her that she's at his and Meowth's place. Delia pleads with James to work the restaurant for one more day at least and to cover this shift. She has to go talk to Jessie. He agrees, hoping that this is a good thing.

Delia runs to James and Meowth's place. She knocks on the door upon arrival and waits. It takes a moment but she hears the door unlock. Jessie opens the door, disheveled, tears and snot all over her face, draped in a blanket. Jessie notices it's Delia and, frightened, slams the door. Delia's stunned for a moment and goes to knock on the door again but before she can the door opens. This time Jessie's tears are gone, her hair's fixed and she ditched the blanket. "Oh hey, Delia! What brings you here?" Delia can't help but be charmed. But this is serious. She shakes it off and asks if they could talk. Jessie invites her in. They get to the couch and Jessie starts frantically cleaning up all the crumpled tissues and dirty dishes off the ground. "Heh I caught a cold yesterday. A one day cold. I'm fine now." Delia doesn't call out the obvious lie and gets straight to the point.

She tells Jessie that she's worried she made a mistake. She made a panicked decision that she was hoping would protect Ash and her future self. But now realizes that she was afraid of the idea that she'd made a selfish decision by dating her. It was a selfish decision but that didn't mean it was a bad one. She was the happiest she'd been, Jessie and Ash were learning to get along and were getting along much better than she'd though. She acknowledges that Jessie has been there for Ash in a way that she can't quite be and is also grateful to her for managing to keep Ash home a little longer. She asks if Jessie would be willing to take her back (despite the distress she caused). Jessie starts sobbing with happy tears. She tearfully says she'll try even harder to get along with Ash and be a better person. Delia reassures her that she's doing just fine.

They kiss passionately but then realize it's weird that they're making out in James in Meowth's place and say they'll continue later. Delia tells Jessie to head back home and that Ash is looking forward to battling with her (and she also needs to let James and Meowth not to quit their jobs).

The end~

[i-starcreamed]

Can I request how Megs would feel if he fought his beloved, reader needs to beat some sense to him and help him from being blinded with hatred. (Tf one plz) Also I want a good ending cuz I'm still sad about the movie. And if it isn't obvious cybertronian reader.

MEGATRON X READER

Obviously Tf One spoilers! God this was so fun to write, I just hope I got their personalities right. I haven't written anything this long in a while !! Also I never knew I'd be so much of a Megatron enjoyer until this movie...yeah, it took me this long.

[ cybertronian! reader Angst and eventually fluff, could be pretty rushed tbh but I just want him to healll. Very NOT canon to the movie

You knew it wasn’t your D-16 the moment his optics changed. Or maybe it was the way he distanced himself from you and your friends in a matter of hours--maybe minutes. It was a subconscious, subtle shift, but one you wished you could have talked him out of.

You suppose you saw the changed D-16 once you made it to the hideout of the High Guard fliers. Your once-kind, responsible lover was gripping Starscream by the neck, his hold tightening with every word from the flier beneath him.

You glanced at Orion, Elita, and Bee, all frozen in horror. You panicked and you stepped forward, placing your servo on his shoulder. Before you could continue, he whirled around, optics burning with a cold, harsh light—practically glaring at you.

“Y/N…“

“D, what the hell are you doing?!” You demanded, your voice steady despite his glare. “This isn’t like you, this isn’t the way, come on.”

He didn’t respond. Instead, his optics locked onto Starscream again. He was seething, the flier grinning through the pain wasn't helping your case either.

“Come on, do it! Do it, don’t be a c-coward!” Starscream sputtered through glitching vocal processors, even as D-16’s servo squeezed harder, threatening to crush the life from him.

D-16 narrowed his optics, “I’m not a coward!” He roared as Starscream’s cackling turned into garbled screeches

You attempted to push him away, roughly shoving him by the shoulder. “D, stop it!” He shoved you back. The sudden force sent you stumbling, and when you steadied yourself, you found yourself staring down the barrel of his arm cannon. His orange optics were locked on you, but for a fleeting moment, they softened. It was like he didn't recognize you, but then he hesitated.

“Stay out of my way, from now on.” He said lowly, as if his words pained him. “Please.”

His hesitation vanished as the cannon swung back toward Starscream. You stood there, stunned, until Orion and Elita rushed over to pull you up. Then you just stood and did nothing.

You watched in horror as D-16 continued to declare himself as someone they should follow to victory. Oh, you knew how much he wanted Sentinel dead now. Hell, you did too. But you weren’t sure if this was the right way. You weren’t a bad bot. Neither was D-16, he never was. You had to do something...before things got bad.

You recalled the moment just before he…snapped.

___

“Y/N, don’t you see? He’s been lying this whole time.” “Yes, D. I see, I know. But—“ “I want him dead. I just-I need..I need to see him suffer. Look what he did. To you. To me. To us. We could have been..so much more.” He placed his servo over your spark, right above where your transformation cog was. He used to dream of you two racing together, having fun. Hell, flying even. Back then he didn’t know what he would transform into. “We can still be more, D. We have a bigger purpose now, we were given the ability to transform by a prime himself. We just need to..show everyone the truth. And we will. Then we can—“ “It’s not enough.” He blurted out, pulling you closer as if it was the last time he’d hold you. “You deserve so much better. I promise you, Y/N. I promise you he will pay.”

___

Things only got worse from there. You reached your breaking point when you saw D-16—no, Megatron—vanish Orion himself. You couldn’t believe it. They were like brothers. And now, your beloved had become something else entirely. And yet, you still felt helpless.

You rushed over, avoiding and pushing the other bots as you made your way to where D-16 stood. They all cheered him on as he was trying to lift Sentinel into the air. He was going to kill him. He really was.

“D, stop it! Look what you’ve done!” You shouted, stomping your way forward, frustration boiling inside. You slammed your shaking fist into his shoulder. Primus, you were pissed at him right now.

“Please, please! Tell me what the hell you’re doing. This wasn’t a part of the plan.” You pleaded with him, hoping you’d somehow get him to react. Instead, he inched closer, the same stance you’d expect of someone challenging you. “No, you’re wrong. This was the plan. It was what had to be done. How can I get you to see that.” He visibly calmed for a moment, reaching out a servo to brush against the side of your faceplate. Despite everything, it’s still him. And he loved you.

You hesitated, then stepped back. Oh, how it pained you. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand your goal.” You said, barely above a whisper. Time seemed to freeze, and he slowly lowered his arm. In an instant, you watched his gaze darken.

“Then you’re just in my way.”

__

Your hopes were revived as Orion, now as Optimus Prime, came back, the matrix of leadership implanted into his chest. Optimus had saved the life of Sentinel (perhaps a little undeserved), knowing there was another way to deal with this. But now he has to save..practically all of Iacon. Maybe just maybe, between the two of you, you can stop Megatron.

The fight between the two friends wasn’t solving anything, you only feared they’d end up killing each other. You got rid of your fear, inserting yourself in the fight just as they managed to gain some distance from eachother. He grunted as you shoved him harder this time, his footing a bit unsteady from his existing injuries.

“What are yo—“

“I told you, stop. This,” you punctuated every word with a shove. “Is. Madness!” You panted, glaring up at your lover. “Come back to me, D. This isn’t the real you. I know it isn’t.” You pleaded, he responded with an irritated grunt.

“I, am Megatron. Not D-16, I am not that bot anymore. Y/N, stand down-“

“No! You stand down! You’re acting foolishly right now! I won't just stand here and watch you destroy yourself and--” You yelled, going straight for him to push him again, but he stopped you with a raise of his cannon. You froze in your tracks.

"Back down, Y/N." He said with a growl. You narrowed your optics, leaning your frame right up against the barrel, hearing a light clink.. The glow illuminated your armor. For a second, you saw his optics widen. He paused, licking his teeth. "I don't want to fight you. But I-"

"But you will if you have to, right? That's what you were going to say? Do it then," Your voice cracked, "I have nothing left to lose."

He huffed, so be it. He lunged towards you, and you raised your arms, blocking the strike. You opened up to move his blaster out of the way, leaving your side open to his incoming fist. It collided with your side, sparks flying from the contact. You grunted, stumbling back. When he came at you again, you caught his arm, pulling him close until you were face to face.

"We're both being foolish right now, are you happy yet? You panted, he grits his teeth.

"Quit saying that!" He growled, shoving you away. He shot his cannon, the blast flying past your side. You slid to avoid it, earning another blast from him. He fired his cannon, but the shot missed. He was aiming wide on purpose. You blinked, you knew his aim wasn't that bad...primus, he really was missing on purpose. If you weren't fighting right now, you'd swoon.

"Are you missing on purpose?" You asked incredulously.

"No! I.. yes..no! Listen to me, Y/N. We can end this now, if you let me do this one thing."

"You've already done enough. D..."

"Don't call me that."

He lunged again, but this time, you sidestepped, charging into him and sending him crashing to the ground, the side of his face hit the ground. You managed to pin him momentarily, struggling to keep him from standing.

"This isn't what you want. Trust me.." You paused. "Megs. Please."

He tensed beneath you, then slightly loosened as you called him 'Megs.'

"This is revenge, it won't help you feel any better. Not long-term. You'll only continue hating and hating, I can't bear to lose you like this. It's...it's tearing us apart." You shuddered, loosening your grip.

Eventually, you felt his breathing slow to a decent pace, slowly, you climbed off him, kneeling beside him. He sighed. "I..I don't know how to stop." He quietly said. You leaned forward, placing a servo against his jaw. "I can help you. I will help you. Megs, you have me with you. You have..Optimus with you. We're all with you."

You both knelt silently for a moment, gathering each other's thoughts. Finally, he had the courage to look up at you. You might never see those big yellow optics of his again, but at least now they weren't so cold. They held some type of sincerity. "I'm..so sorry." He breathed out.

You almost sighed in relief. "You're still angry, and that's okay, alright? Now it's my turn to promise you, we'll deal with this differently. It won't feel fair at first, but it's the right thing to do. Stand up." You gently said, extending your servo out to him. He slowly took your servo, his grip as gentle, almost afraid of breaking you. Primus, how he regrets hurting you. You can see it written all over his face. He was blinded by rage, he was indeed acting foolish. His optics briefly flicked to Sentinel, still on the ground and honestly, grateful to still be in one single piece. He turned away before the anger could return.

"I didn't want to hurt you," He whispered.

You softly scoffed, gently nudging him. This time, without any defensive intent. "You controlled yourself better than I did. I wanted to beat your aft, D-- Megs." You joked, earning a small, bittersweet smile.

You took your servos in his, softly smiling at him. You turned to Optimus, who was just as relieved as you were. "Optimus, do you think Megs and I can help rebuild Iacon? The way it's supposed to be?"

Optimus smiled gently, looking proud. "Of course you can. We all can." He looked at Megatron, his gaze firm but kind. "I am glad to have you back, friend."

Megatron nodded, still tense but..accepting. One day, they'll be as brothers again. You just know it. "As am I." He said, turning to you. His gaze softened. "Y/N...I love you."

"I love you as well, Megs."

[jj-one]

SALTY & SWEET 🥣

pairing: established relationship, nerdy bf!dom!Jungkook x gf!reader, jk is around 21/22 in this genre/tags: smut, (some) fluff, angst, degradation, praise kink, oral (m receiving), facef*cking, food play, c*m play, c*m eating, use of word daddy (once) words: 981

**old repost from my deleted blog

Oh you sad, sad little thing… always finding yourself in these compromising situations. The whole morning went as normal with Jungkook, he was super nice to you and smothered you with lots of loving kisses! But once he arrived back home from classes his entire mood shifted completely.

“Get on your knees, wanna use that pretty little mouth of yours right now.” Jungkook was hovering over you as you sat down.

You were just minding your business on the couch eating a bowl of strawberries when he said that to you.

“W-what?” Your eyes bug out of your head like a deer in headlights.

“Did I stutter? On your knees NOW!” His voice becomes more stern.

You squirm to get up, not wanting to waste another minute incase he gets angrier. Your body feels shaky from his intimidating persona, he usually comes off as sweet and caring but when he’s mad he becomes almost sadistic.

It didn’t take long for him to end up down your throat. All 7 inches of him being taken by you. You kept choking and gagging but the more you did it the more Jungkook would just keep pushing your head back down. His fingers latching onto your hair and thrusting his hips harder to get more of his cock deeper in your throat.

“C’mon, you can take it like the little pathetic slut you are. You’re my precious little pup right?”

His words made you so fucking wet for him.

You wanted to please him in the best way you could. Bobbing your head back and forth, his spit combined with your saliva all over your face. Jungkook likes it messy though, he also loves shooting his load out on your face after a long day. You acted like nothing but a toy for him to use, just a fuckdoll he can manipulate and dump all his cum into when he’s frustrated.

His glasses were sliding down to his nose as he keeps lowering his head to get a finer view of you. Your fucked out face was so angelic to him, so divine… you looked the most beautiful when you had Jungkook’s cock buried in your mouth.

“There atta-girl… such a good little slut for me aren’t you?” The way he talks to you will be your true weakness.

You had to prove your love to him. Your devotion. You wanted his cum as a reward so you had to work hard for it and push through the pain. You try humming to loosen up your vocal cords and take him better, the vibrations sent chills up his spine and he almost lost his balance for a second. Feeling the way he throbbed and twitched on your tongue made you moan against his shaft.

“Fuck yeah… good girl my good little fucking princess…”

You kept letting him throatfuck you and the tears came rolling down now. He loved seeing you become a crying fucked out mess for him, it filled his heart with the utmost joy.

“Aww.. my darling’s getting teary eyed, can’t take all of it huh??”

Your jaw hurts so bad but you can’t stop now, you have only one goal to achieve and that was to make your boyfriend cum all over your pretty face. His cock slammed into your uvula and you made a loud gagging noise, he would just grin and keep pushing hisself in you relentlessly. He laughed at your misery, the way your knees buckled and quivered while being under him.

He wouldn’t be laughing for too much longer though, one more thrust to the back of your throat would leave him nearly unable to talk. His body felt paralyzed. Eyes were violently rolling to the back of his head as he feels his release approaching. He jerks his hips back and quickly pulls out of your mouth. He doesn’t bring his cock to your face though, instead his attention is drawn to the bowl of strawberries you were eating from earlier.

He stands in front of it on the couch and viciously strokes his cock, large white ropes of cum come trickling down onto the fresh strawberries. Once he finishes he looks back at you now with an evil grin.

“Get on all fours for me doll.” He instructs you.

You do as you’re told, getting on your hands and knees, crawling your way towards him. He takes ones of the strawberries— that are now all coated with his hot delicious cum and brings it to your lips.

“Open wide.”

You open your mouth and he plops the strawberry in, you immediately close your mouth to start chewing. The strawberry was so sweet and juicy while Jungkook’s cum was warm and salty, this might be the perfect combination you’ve ever tried.

“Taste’s good right princess?”

You nod your head and finally speak “Yes, so yummy daddy, want to eat more!”

“Then go ahead, eat more.”

You dip your face in the bowl of strawberries and eat another one. You can’t get over how good his cum tastes with the savory fruit. He pets the top of your head like you were a kitten, just grinning at the sight of you eagerly eating his cum.

“Such a naughty little girl… you really are a huge slut.” He degrades you more, wrapping his hand around your neck as he lifts you from being on all fours.

You’re back on your knees again facing him while he kept a tight grip on you. The way this man had you so down bad for him, you were willing to let him do absolutely anything to satisfy his needs. Your body couldn’t stop trembling under his touch, he had you perfectly the way he wanted.

“Still look so pretty, even after sucking off my cock..” his hold on you was only getting tighter at this point.

“So obedient for me, always.”

[satxnsupreme666]

I love you, it’s ruining my life: Agatha Harkness x fem!reder x Rio Vidal

Masterlist

Requested by: @notlhecxzsa

Summary: Agatha cares for you deeply, she loves you, but her fears stop her from revealing the real feelings she has for you, the only way she knows how to cope with her own feelings is by using sarcasm and from time to time say something mean.

Rio developed feelings for you while watching over Agatha and you during the three years you had stayed with her to take care of the the blue-eyed witch who was under Wanda’s spell, Rio doesn’t like the way Agatha treats you just because she doesn’t know how to deal with her feelings.

Can Rio and the coven help Agatha realize that her actions and comments are not only hurting her but she’s also hurting you in the process? Can Rio help Agatha realize that love doesn’t have to make anyone suffer?

Warnings: Agatha is mean to reader because she doesn´t know how to deal with her feelings, reader gets hurt, reader almost dies, angst, I think that´s it.

Word count: 19k+ 

Author´s notes: In this story Sharon doesn´t die, in fact no one dies, I will always be in denial.

Hello, sorry for being a little bit inactive, and for the requests I have already been sent, have in mind I will be writing them and posting them, just give me please a little bit of time.

@notlhecxzsa thank you so much for requesting this! I really loved your idea! You are really creative and it was really nice to write this, sorry for taking too many days to write this, I´ll be honest I had some really bad days and it was so hard for me to even do anything, but I was finally able to get inspiration and finish this story, again, thank you so much for trusting in me to write your request, it was such a delight to write this, so I hope you like this and that you enjoy it! 💕

I hope all of you enjoy this!🥺💕💕

Taglist: @italianaidiota @midnight-lestrange @eliscannotdance

“Hey, sorry, I didn´t mean to scare you” The tall teen said to you with a soft smile on his face, you had not noticed he had been talking to you for the past minutes, too deep into your own thoughts about how some hours ago Agatha had been released from Wanda’s spell, some hours ago in which Agatha had been thinking that you were her wife, it looked like the older witch did not remember any of the past three years, and Agatha not remembering anything made you feel a pang of sadness to your heart, you had wished at least that during the moments she had been nice and caring towards you she would be able to remember something.

You were going to miss so much the times in which she actually seemed to care about you, and you felt guilty for that, you knew very well Agatha did not like you like that, she just tolerated you because you have proven to her your loyalty, but it had never been enough and would never be.

“It’s alright, I am sorry, I am not so used to people touching me out of nowhere” You replied back at him while you made sure the cups and the table were in order, the teen in front of you tilted his head to the side a little and looked at you with curious eyes.

“What did you ask me again? Sorry” You asked him again, clearing your throat a little, it was a little bit uncomfortable to be under someone else’s gaze, you were also letting him know that he could ask again whatever he had inquired.

“Oh yes! I was just asking how come you were living here with Agatha while she was under the spell and you were…not” He asked you carefully, he could see that whatever had happened was a touchy subject for you.

He still remembered the way Agatha had told you how she thought you had disappeared out of her life for real half an hour ago and then she just left the hall and went upstairs to do god knows what, you had been kind enough to help him untie him out of the rope and helped him to get out of the closet.

“Thank you by the way, for untying me” He said chucking, he could see you were kind and nice, and was really curious about what you were doing with Agatha.

You stopped to think about the past three years and about 7 months, the way Wanda had trapped you under her mind control, giving you the role of Agnes’ wife, you remembered everything perfectly because even from the first 4 months of just watching everything from the inside as if you were on a tv show and being controlled by Wanda’s mind, you were also conscious, living everything without actually having a chance to do something, it had been a weird experience,  but what was also one of the weirdest things, was that you had not felt pain nor anything unlike the other residents of “Westview” that had claimed they were terrorized, you had not felt any type of pain during the months you were controlled, that had been what you assumed to be the first months, because one day you just woke up and what shocked you was that you actually were able to move as you wanted.

The teen cleared his throat softly and you came back to the present again, ready to answer his question.

“Well, I am not sure, I mean, one day I woke up not being able to control myself, following Wanda’s schedule, playing the role she had given to me which had been being Agnes’ wife” You felt your face getting warmer at the mention of your role.

“And then suddenly I was able to move on my own, I was able to actually went where I wanted, I don’t know. Then Agnes, or well, Agatha came to me to tell me she had released me from Wanda’s mind control and that I was in debt with her, so she “hired” me to pay my debt to her with some things, so I just stayed, I felt like I really had a debt with her, you know?” You were such a liar, you knew very well you had stayed because you liked so much the older witch that you wanted to get her approval and get her to like you, so you stayed with her to help her and do whatever she had wanted.

“Then you know, Wanda’s hex was destroyed, I am not sure how and I still don’t know, but the next day Agatha seemed to be a completely different person and claimed to be named Agnes, and well, I couldn’t let her alone, you know? She needed help, I helped her the way I could”

You brushed your shoulders trying to act nonchalant, you just hoped he believed you, because you had stayed with her because of the feelings you had developed for Agatha, and when she actually thought you were her wife and the way she actually treated you or her character “Agnes” had treated you had made you fell harder for the older woman, even though you always tried and made sure not to cross any boundaries because you were aware that was not what Agatha had wanted and you wanted to actually respect her, you never initiated any type of physical contact, she would only hug you and give you soft kisses from time to time, or more like, Agnes had given them to you, but you never actually took advantage of that, you always made sure she was fine, listening to her, to the different ideas and plots her mind had created, always making sure she was fine.

The dark-haired boy nodded slowly and seemed to be analyzing you, so in order for him to stop looking at you so weird you decided to change the subject.

“I also wanted to make sure Señor Scratchy would be fine” You told him and went towards one of the couches in the living room to take the fluffy bunny in your arms, bringing him close to the teen so he could see the bunny closer.

“He is so sweet; can I pet him?” He asked you and you sighed, relieved that he seemed to have forgotten the subject of how you knew Agatha, you nodded and passed the bunny over to him after caressing his little ears.

“He is really sweet, never bites, and he loves to snuggle against people” You proudly said remembering all the times you had spent at night on the couch hugging the bunny closer to you or the times when you had been sad and cried alone laying on the biggest couch and feeling the bunny climbing up and snuggling against your arms, you would always hug him and pet him lovingly.

“He would be an amazing service bunny” You jokingly said and the teen laughed, he was petting his ears and saying how cute the bunny was.

You heard footsteps coming from the stairs and quickly straightened yourself, brushing your hair with your hands to make sure you looked decent for Agatha, you did not notice the teen saw the way you were making sure you looked fine, and he internally laughed, he was sure you liked the older woman but would not comment about it.

Agatha came down wearing sunglasses and a hat, her style always so elegant and so beautiful, she really knew how to dress, you quickly looked back at your clothes, hoping they were enough.

“I see you made yourself useful and helped our guest here” She said to you while eying the teen, her eyes peeking from the top of her sunglasses.

You tried to ignore the comment and just nodded; the teen looked back at you with his eyebrows furrowed together.

“So, are we going to gather our coven?” The teen asked out loud and you went to take Mr.Scratchy from his arms, taking the bunny carefully and making sure the little fluffy ball knew how good he was, Agatha had put her glasses back and thought no one was watching her, so she decided to eye you while you were entertained petting the little bunny, she felt her heart skipping  a beat at the sight, she had always loved the way you were so gentle not only with Mr.Scratchy but with animals in general, you were always so kind that it actually started to make her feel things, which was absurd, because how could someone like you actually make her feel something, it was obviously the fake memories Wanda had implanted on her head, there was no other explanation, she huffed and quickly went to look back at the teen.

“Yeah, whatever, let’s meet our coven” Agatha said with feigned excitement, she turned around and you quickly went to place Mr.Scratchy on the carpet, the teen turned himself around and looked at you with a smile.

“You can help me choose the music we’ll play in the car, I have a variety of songs in my playlist and I also have cd’s if you prefer them” The dark-haired boy said with excitement, and you felt happy to be included in what seemed to be really serious, you came to stand next to the teen when Agatha quickly turned herself with a frown on her face and walked back towards the two of you.

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, who told you she could come?” The older witch had felt suddenly a wave of worry taking over her, you were not supposed to be part of that, how would you even be safe? You were not even a witch! She pushed really hard the feeling away and again said to herself it was only the fake memories and fake feelings Wanda had planted in her.

“But I can help” You said eagerly, trying to let her know you would be useful, trying to get her approval one more time.

Agatha felt conflicted, she should not even care about you wanting to come, the more the better, if someone died on the road, no one would care! Everyone had to carry on, and continue to keep on walking down the road, but still, deep down, if something really happened to you, she was not sure what could happen, Agatha did not even want to actually think of something happening to you, but why did she care so much? You were no one to her.

“You are only going to slow us down” Agatha replied looking at you with her arms crossed on her chest, trying to see if maybe you would just agree on not going.

“No wait, I can be useful, you know? I can help you, all of you, just like I have been helping” You said hopeful, trying so hard to convince Agatha to let you join them, you saw the way she pursed her lips and suddenly you felt the same way you used to feel all those months you had passed with her again during Wanda’s hex, your mind going for a moment back to the past, the way she would say a comment that would make you feel bad or how she looked at you when you were too pushy on something, so you quickly lowered your gaze to look at the floor.

Agatha was thinking, too much, many different thoughts coming and going, if she let you go, she would be risking your life, if not many witches survived the road, what could happen to you? You could die and then, she would never get to see you again, her heart was beating so loud she was afraid the teen or you could actually hear her beating heart.

But now that the Salem seven were also behind her, she was powerless, and had no ways to actually do something if you were magically attacked, what would she be able to do?

“You are not even a witch” The way Agatha said that to you, with so much disdain, and making you feel less and not enough made you feel a pang of pain in your heart, you were not used to her mean comments anymore, sure when Wanda was still around and you were helping Agatha the comments and mean actions were common,  but during those three years she had been “Agnes” you had not received any of those, so even now that you were aware and you knew she would make comments like that again, still it shocked you to hear them actually coming from her mouth, hearing them from the woman you loved so much made you want to cry.

Agatha noticed the way your shoulders tensed, and saw the way for a moment an expression full of pain and disappointment was visible on your face, you quickly went to hide and tried to compose yourself, you thought no one would notice it, but she did, you had been so many years with  her that it was something she had picked up from you from the start, your small antics that made you so special, but she was not going to say anything about that.

The teen could not actually believe how even after those years that you had been there taking care of her, Agatha still could treat you like that! It was visible for him that you were head over heels for that woman and yet you tolerated the way she spoke to you, he felt bad for you but also, he did not want to intrude.

The blue-eyed witch felt like she did not know what to do, the only logical way for her to make you not go was the way she knew, the way she was used to, and that was how she was acting, but the sad look on your face and how you were not even looking at her made her for a second think twice what she was doing.

“Fine! Whatever but if you die I am not making a funeral” Agatha quickly said and rolled her eyes turning herself around to start walking to the door, she hated feeling nervous and actually worried for someone else, she had been alone for centuries, never having to look after some else, only looking after her, and then you came, with your sweet smile, kind words and actions, making sure she had what she needed and always tending for her needs, her sweet y/n, but there was no way, you had to know any of that.

Slowly you lifted your head to look at the teen and finally the two of you smiled, you tried to ignore Agatha’s comment, she always said something like that, so you tried not to take it personally, but still it hurt you to hear that.

You realized Agatha had already stepped out of the house.

“We better hurry, Agatha doesn’t like waiting for too long” You said to him and he nodded instantly, the two of you went out and you quickly locked the door, starting to walk behind the teen, following him, you saw Agatha standing next to the car looking at her reflection on the window.

The teen went quickly to open the doors and he went to enter the car to start the engine.

After making sure the three of you were already inside the car the teen smiled at you through the mirror.

“Do you want to play some music?” He inquired while turning the engine on and you were about to say yes but noticed the way Agatha was looking at you through the mirror as well, she had her eyes frowned and decided not to annoy her.

“No, uhm, it’s alright, I mean, whatever you want, don’t worry” You replied back and went to look through the window, trying to avoid their gazes, the teen did not say anything else and started to drive slowly waiting for Agatha to give instructions, but Agatha was too immersed looking at you through the mirror, she was analyzing your expression, the way you seem not to want to cause her any trouble, even going against your own wishes, how could you put her first? Your beautiful face looking at the window, looking at the street and the houses you were passing through, how could you make her feel things she had not felt in centuries?

“Where to Agatha?” The boy asked her directly and she quickly turned her head to look at him.

“Keep driving I’ll tell you when to turn and where to stop” She announced and looked at the path ahead, during the ride Agatha could not keep her eyes off you, looking at you through the mirror, and feeling her heart beat faster at the way your expression tended to change, she was still worried, how would she be able to make sure nothing happened to you?

When you were about to turn your head to look at the other side Agatha quickly turned to look at the other direction so that you would not notice she had been looking at you.

“Wait, stop! You already passed the shop!” Agatha quickly said and the teen had to abruptly stop.

“Oh my god” He said grabbing with a strong grip the steering wheel.

“Are you alright?” The teen asked while looking at you through the mirror and when Agatha saw the way he looked worried she turned her head hastily to look at you, you were grabbing your seatbelt with both of your hands and you just nodded, she sighed in relief seeing you had not hurt yourself.

“Who taught you how to drive?” Agatha said with an annoyed look on her face after the teen made sure to park where the shop was located a few meters behind and finally went to unlock the door to get out of the car. 

The boy and you looked at each other still inside the car, Agatha was already outside walking towards the entrance of the building.

“Is she serious?” The dark-haired boy asked you directly and you only laughed a little bit while slowly nodding.

“Don’t mind her, she doesn’t mean it” You said to him and you proceeded to also get out of the car, the teen did the same and the two of you started to walk alongside towards the waiting older witch.

“Took you long enough” Agatha commented while accommodating her hat.

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Getting to know Lilia had been interesting to say the least, the interaction with her made you aware of how Agatha was perceived amongst the other witches, and got you thinking about her and her actions, for you it was not possible that Agatha could be really that selfish right? Could it be true every single thing that was said about her? Maybe other people did not like it, but for you she was just maybe, misunderstood, she was smart, amazing, a beautiful woman, or maybe, just maybe was your heart dictating your brain what to think.

Agatha had been carefully watching you whenever Lilia said something about her,  whenever Lilia reminded her of what other witches thought about her, her past hunting her again, and the way you seemed to be so deep in thought about everything you have heard, made her heart ache with pain, she did not want you to believe all of those things, she did not want you to become afraid of her, but just as she had never actually care for someone in so much time, she didn´t know what to do.

“So, we’re at the mall, where to?” The teen asked with a smile on his face, you stopped walking and waited for Agatha to give instructions.

“Just follow me, it is not too far away” The blue-eyed witch said while starting to walk again, the boy looked at you and you only shrugged your shoulders, the two of you started to follow Agatha from behind.

After entering a shop on the second floor you frowned, where were they supposed to find a witch in there? You were about to ask the teen when you felt someone pushing you hard and losing your balance you fell to the floor, your hand colliding first on the cold floor making you wince in pain, Agatha quickly noticed that and quickly walked closer to you, she got worried thinking you had hurt yourself but when you started to get up the floor so quickly she did not get time to act as if she was not looking carefully at you, you stood up and were surprised to see Agatha standing there in front of you, frowning you sent her a questioning look and Agatha blinked several times before realizing what she was doing and without saying anything she turned herself around to look for the teen and the witch that had tackled him, her heart beating so fast against her chest, the blue-eyed witch cleared her throat and waited for the other witch to just get fired.

You did not understand what had just happened, and Agatha’s action or whatever she had done made you confused, what had just happened?

Agatha was shaken, she could not believe she had acted on impulse, but the thought of you getting hurt made her heart feel a deep feeling of pain and fear, why did she care so much? You were nothing! Not even a witch who she could drain the powers from, you were a mortal, and that was what also made her feel even more afraid, ignoring always could help, at least that’s what she thought would work.

You were not sure what the teen and Agatha were saying to the shorter woman, you were not interested if you were honest, too deep in your own thoughts, why had Agatha gotten closer to you? Did she want to make sure you were not hurt? For a second you heard jumped a bit, feeling warm at the mere thought of Agatha caring about you, but then you remembered how three years ago you had gotten hurt because she had got mad and she did not even turn herself around to take a look at you. You remembered that day very clearly and it made you shiver, she had been mad that day, mad because her plan was not working, mad because she couldn’t understand how Wanda had created everything from scratch, how she had brought her dead husband back or how she even created her two children! She was not even close to what she wanted and your only error had been to ask if she needed help.

You winced at the memory of her words, the way she had turned herself around so fast you were afraid she would hurt herself.

“How are you going to help me? You don’t even have powers, you are not even useful, you can’t get the information I have already told you to get, if you want to help, you will leave” Agatha had said to you and you had felt the way the tears started to fall down your face.

“You can’t be serious, I am the one who is stressed, you are fine here! I released you from the spell, you are not suffering, I gave you a chance to help me, and you are crying?” You could see Agatha getting angrier and the way her eyes started to grow purple made you afraid.

“Why won´t you leave? I said leave!” Agatha had yelled and the next thing you knew, you had been thrown out of the room, colliding against the wall and falling onto the hard wooden floor with a hard thud, it had hurt, but it was not a unbearable pain, you had slowly stood up groaning a little and Agatha just looked at you with her eyes widened, but quickly turned herself around and walked out of the house, leaving you alone in there, you had felt awful, you wanted to think she had not made it on purpose, you had wanted to convince yourself that she had done it without thinking twice, always listening to your heart instead of your brain, always making excuses for her, and that was what ruined you, always excusing everything she said and did, loving her was sometimes hard, but you couldn’t stop the feeling.

“Are you hungry?” A hand on your shoulder made you jump slightly taking you back to the present, you blinked several times only to realize you were on the food court of the mall, when had you gotten there? 

“Not really” You answered the teen and smiled at him, he nodded and when you saw Agatha you noticed she was looking at you again with that unreadable expression on her face, she quickly lifted her hand to scratch her eyebrow slightly and turned herself around to walk towards a free table to seat there. The way you always jumped slightly whenever someone touch you out of nowhere made her also feel worried, what had happened to you? She really wanted to know but she did not have the courage to ask you out loud.

Agatha’s gaze made you feel a little bit weirded out because, she had never looked at you that way, was she analyzing you? thinking you were just a bother? You had many ideas running through your head, so many bad things that she could be thinking about you so you decided to just take your phone out to start scrolling whatever you could find.

You were trying so hard to focus on something else trying not to mind Agatha and when the teen asked what she wanted to eat and the two of them went to order their food you decided to take that little time to go to the nearest bathroom to wash your face. You still couldn’t understand why Agatha was looking at you in such a weird way, you never knew what she could be thinking or what her next move could be, so you only hoped for the best, feeling the cold water on your face relaxed you a little, you tried to lessen the tension on your shoulders and finally when you dried your face you decided it was time to go back to the two people you had come with, what you had not expecting was Agatha and the teen standing there in front of the table you had chosen and looking everywhere around the place, Agatha seemed to be tense, the way her shoulders seemed to tense just as she was speaking to the teen as if she was scolding him but you were not sure why.

Slowly you made your way to them, trying not to interrupt the conversation they were having in order not to bother Agatha, you did not want to make her angry at you.

After making sure you were centimeters away from them, you were able to hear what was the older witch and the teen talking about.

“You could have made sure she stayed here! Why couldn’t you watch where she went to?” Agatha sounded pissed but you were not understanding what was going on.

“I went with you to pay for the food! How was I supposed to know she would be leaving?” The teen had lifted his hands up in the air, not knowing what to do.

You cleared your throat to announce yourself and the two of them quickly turned themselves to look at you, when Agatha saw you, she felt relieved, she had felt her heart would stop at any minute trying to figure out where had you gone or if you had finally decided you wanted to leave her and be free, she had thought the worst, had you finally realized she was not a good person? That she was actually a wicthkiller and she was not capable of loving? She almost cried feeling desperate not knowing where you had gone, and seeing you there back again in front of her, made her feel at peace, she had wanted to hug you but again, she suppressed that feeling and only sighed.

“You know you could have said where you were going?” Agatha quickly commented while turning around to finally take a seat, she started to eat her corndog nonchalantly as if she had not just blamed the teen for losing you out if their sight and almost crying at the thought of you leaving, the teen was trying so hard not to laugh so he took the seat next to Agatha and brought the cup he had on the table to his lips, covering his grin.

You did not understand what had just happened or why she seemed so annoyed that you had left for some minutes, so deciding not to comment nor say anything you sat down on the seat in front of Agatha and the teen.

The older witch started to eat nonchalantly as if nothing had happened and the teen proceeded to do the same, you did not find anything to do so you just decided to keep doing what you had been doing on your phone, there was not much to do, you still had to wait for them to finish eating and then you had to still look for the other witches to complete the coven.

Your mind wandered back to a few hours ago, when you had heard Lilia saying random names of tarot cards, you had studied a little bit of tarot a while ago, and from what you knew, the first card Lilia had said out of nowhere had been Ace of cups, what did you remember about ace of cups? It had to do with new beginnings, right? Something about new relationships, what else? A card alone could have many different meanings, cards also have to be paired to have a more specific meaning, right? What other cards had Lilia said? Six of cups and two of cups, the meaning could also depend on the deck and also the context of course, what did you remember about the six of cups card? 

It had to do with nostalgia? You tried to think harder, and yes you remembered! It also had to do with the past, in certain cases that could mean the past could come back somehow, revisiting some past memories? You were not sure, the meaning of that was the one you remembered the most, it had to do with partnership, creating a union, union of forces, could it be the coven reuniting and forming a union? You were not sure and tried not to think about it too much, you just wanted to remember what the cards could mean.

The last card Lilia had mentioned had been the lovers and that card could have just as every other tarot card a different meaning depending on the context, so it would be too risky to jump into any conclusions even though you wished deeply for that card to have a good meaning for you and a certain blue-eyed witch,  Agatha noticed the way you seemed to be thinking a lot, the way you unconsciously tended to bite your lower lip while you were too focused on whatever you were thinking, it was an habit she had noticed since you started living with her when Wanda was still around, even if she never allowed herself to say it out loud, she had picked up almost all of your gestures, expressions and even antics, and could only wondered why you looked to be so worried.

The next stop all of you made was on the shop of the famous social media influencer Jennifer Kale, you felt nervous getting to be near someone as famous as her who had so many followers, the teen seemed to be excited due to his bouncy state.

 “Aren´t you excited?” The boy asked you with a huge smile on his face, you nodded slightly letting him know that you were feeling the same, Agatha eyed you a little, she was walking behind you and noticed you shifting a little, showing that you were feeling nervous, it was something you used to do all the time when feeling stressed or nervous, moving your legs a little or passing your hands various times through your hair to soothe yourself, during those three years she would caress your hair a little to help you feel at ease, but right now, she could not get herself to do it .

You still did not understand why Agatha kept staring at you with such a weird look that you did not understand, so you only decided not to engage too much into their conversation with Jennifer, and only stood next to the teen.

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The way Agatha had ripped the teen´s decoration to welcome the witches made you feel a little bit bad for him, but you knew Agatha was feeling stressed, you even felt stressed because you did not know what would be waiting for you on the road, and it also made you feel scared.

“Hey” You said softly to Agatha with a frown on your face, she quickly looked back at you and felt surprised for your reaction.

“It looked nice, he did it with his own hands, I gave him the sheets of paper and the markers, it was pretty” Agatha blinked several times and when she saw the way you had stretched out for her to give her back the decoration Agatha did not think twice and handed it to you.

The teen was smirking and when Agatha saw him, she only rolled her eyes at him and walked into the other room, leaving you and him to keep on doing what you had planned.

“How did you do that?” The dark-haired boy had a big smirk on his face, and you only shrugged your shoulders not understanding what he meant, so you only gave to him back what he had made and helped him to put it back on the wall.

 “That looks nice” A voice behind you commented and you turned yourself around to look at the woman who had arrived.

“He made it” You replied smiling softly at the potion´s witch and she returned the smile, even if you had not spoked with her that much, she could see you were nice.

“Thank you for coming” The boy looked at her with a big smile. Lilia arrived secondly and you greeted her happily, waving your hand at her, she did the same to you and the boy offered them a snack, you were not sure where he had gotten them, but decided not to ask, Agatha could not have given them to him, right?

 “Hi” The woman with the red strands of hair arrived, she had her hands on her pockets and you smiled at her as well.

 “Sorry for tackling you” Alice said to the teen and then looked at you.

“Sorry for making you fall as well” Smiling you laughed out loud.

 “It´s alright, it was not that bad, don´t worry” Alice nodded and shily looked at the floor.

“What type of witch are you?” Jennifer suddenly asked you and you quickly shook your head.

“Oh, no, I am not a witch I am just here helping Agatha” You replied with a smile on your face, the three witches looked at each other with a confused look, they did not understand how could someone be happy helping Agatha, you seemed too nice to be working with her.

Before anyone could make more questions, Agatha appeared again, entering the living room dressed completely different, she really looked amazing with that coat on her.

“Alright, let´s walk the road” The new coven started to walk towards Agatha´s basement and you decided to go grab Mr. Scratchy to put him in a safe place, the teen followed you to get him back onto his large cage to get him safe, you two were too concentrated on making sure the bunny was fine that you did not get to hear the conversation about them needing a green witch, you did not even notice when Agatha left the house and came back with Mrs. Davis behind her.

“Alright, we are all set” The teen nodded and walked back to one of the couches to seat in there, you decided you would go the basement to see how else you could help Agatha with.

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“You can’t be here” Agatha quickly said to you making sure the other witches were not listening, she had guided you towards the stairs of her basement to let you know you were not allowed to be in her basement, at least not right now, she did not even know what could happen and deep down the fear was taking over her again, she feared something could really happen to you, and if you got hurt, she would never forgive herself, but how could she let you know that without making a fuss of her own emotions? Without actually saying out loud what she felt?

Your confused look made you look so pretty, why were you so kind to her even after everything she had done? You were too pure and yet you wanted to help her.

“But then how am I going to help?” You asked her, completely confused on why Agatha was telling you not be there with them, the older woman didn´t want you to get hurt, she did not even know what was going to happen and she could not risk you getting hurt.

“Listen, I know you want to help, but remember, the only ones who can open the door are witches, so, you would be more helpful if you go back and stay with the boy and wait for me to give you more instructions, alright?” She was trying so hard to convince you to go back and was hoping that you would accept quickly, she was sure you still had not even noticed about the weird entities wanting to get her, and you were also completely oblivious to the fact that her former lover had also paid her a visit, so she really needed for her and her new “coven” to get through this as fast as possible.

“Alright” You said to her and Agatha felt relieved you understood quickly.

She made sure you closed the door behind you and went back to the circle.

“What a beautiful wife and helping wife you have Agatha” Mrs. Davis commented, she remembered you and her being on Wanda´s hex and from time to time she also saw you going to the grocery store or just walking down the street during those past three years, of course the woman did not know what had happened.

All of the other witches hastily turned their heads to look at Agatha with a shocked expression on their faces, how was it possible that Agatha had a wife?

Agatha laughed nervously and tried to act as if that comment had not meant anything to her.

“How did you get her to be your wife? Do you have it under some kind of spell?” Jennifer asked with a smirk on her face, how could it be possible? Agatha pursed her lips not wanting to give explanations.

“Well Jennifer, unlike you I can actually get someone who wants to be with me, not magic involved, are you jealous?” The smirk on Agatha´s face made Jennifer feel her blood boiling and Lilia sensed the tension.

“We are not here to discuss anyone´s love life, we have a goal in common ladies” The Sicilian witch tried to reason with them, not wanting for a fight to start.

“Yeah, maybe you can give us some tips later” Alice commented while raising her eyebrows and nodding slowly, Lilia turned her head to look at her with her left eyebrow raised.

“What?” Alice did not understand the look on the curly haired witch.

Upstairs, you went back to sit next to the boy, and looked at you with a concerned expression on his face.

“Agatha told me to come wait here with you” He tilted his head and looked at you carefully.

“We can play a card game in the meantime if you want, I have the Uno game card, I mean it is only the two of us, but,-“

“Sure, I love board and card games, so let´s play” He interrupted you, he loved card games and always was eager to play one with people he liked, he was sure you and him could be great friends. 

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You looked at Agatha standing herself from the water slide, the way she had not let you get cut your skin with the knife, she had taken the teen’s hand to get the blood they needed, the way she had seen so reluctant to actually cut you with the knife when you had offered yourself, the way she quickly snapped back and said no to you, or how she had taken the glass of wine out of your hands, she had not allowed you to drink from the poisoned wine, claiming only true witches were allowed to drink,  but those little actions made your heart flutter with happiness, maybe she really cared about you? Maybe she actually felt something nice towards you? You were beyond happy, finally Agatha was showing something else towards you than just annoyance and that made you feel a lot better.

Agatha felt on edge, she was making sure you would not hurt yourself, but you were making it hard for her, really hard, when she saw you with the glass on your hands, her heart beat so faster that she thought it was going to get out of her ribcage, you almost drank the wine because you had been joking around the teen, she was not sure what you two were laughing about, and her heart felt warm at the sight, but when she saw you were about to take a sip, she had lost her composure for a minute, she had not cared if the others saw her, you were more important to her than anything else or what other people could think, she ran towards you and snatched the glass from your hands, everyone looked at her with wide eyes including you and she only said something mean to cover her real feelings and her beating heart.

 You and Billy had only looked at each other with a confused look and just brushed what had happened off, Agatha always did something like that.

Agatha felt he heart skip a beat not long after the wine incident, you had offered your own hand to get the blood they needed, wanting to help, always willing to help whoever was in need, and again she did not understand how you were not afraid, she was not going to cut your skin, there was no way she would hurt you like that, so she quickly took the teen’s hand and cut his skin, she gave you a quick look with a weird expression you had not seen before, Agatha was stressed, how would she be able to help you and take care of you when you were putting yourself in such dangerous situations!?

Agatha felt relieved for a moment, you had gotten out of the trial without a scratch, you were safe, you were still there in front of her, until the teen and you started to explore the path a little too far away, Alice was saying something about a way to get Mrs. Davis out of the road, to keep her safe, but Agatha was not listening anymore, her eyes squinting to look at the two of you trying to take some orange leaves from the path, but when she saw the way your foot had tripped over she felt her heart skipping a beat again, her worried face showed what she was actually feeling, not daring to hide her emotions, the blue-eyed witch ran off to where you had fallen on the mud as quick as she could.

You had been trying to reach for a weird shaped leave on the path outside the actual road to show it to the teen but the next thing you knew you were fighting to walk out of the pool of mud that seemed to engulf you more and more as the seconds passed, you felt the teen grabbing you by your hands,  trying to push you back over to the road, but it was not working, he was doing everything he could until he felt a body pushing him to the side, a strong pair of arms circled your waist and in less than a second, you were released from the mud, you lifted your head to see the blue-eyed woman looking worriedly at you, she took your face in her hands, checking for any type of wounds and when you were about to throw yourself at her to hug her, she quickly turned herself around to walk back towards the other witches.

You felt confused? What had just happened, so you decided to follow Agatha from behind until you reached her when she was closer to her coven, even if you were scared of her reaction, you stretched your hand out to touch her shoulder.

“Agatha?” You asked in a small voice, and Agatha turned herself around to look at you, the way her blue eyes for a minute turned purple and the way her eyebrows were furrowed aggressively, made you feel small.

“You should not even be here! You are not a witch! You are nothing!” Agatha quickly pressed her hand over her mouth, she had not wanted for that to happen, she had not meant what had come out of her mouth, she did not mean any of what she had said, but the way you had  put yourself in danger already three times and being careless to get outside the path, that you had almost drowned in the mud made her feel even more powerless, she did not have her magic, she was useless! How would she be able to actually save you from a magical threat or even from the Salem seven! She had snapped out of fear and stress, but she did not actually mean what she had said.

Too late, she thought when she noticed your beautiful eyes getting glossy, and the way you looked down at the floor, her heart ached so much looking at you this way, she would have loved to pull you closer to her and hug you but she couldn’t get herself to actually do it.

You felt guilty for missing “Agnes” the way she treated you with respect, the way she made you feel seen and showered you with gifts and compliments, the way she hugged you when she noticed you were feeling under the weather.

Of course, you felt guilty because, “Agnes” was not even real, it was an illusion, something Wanda had created, only playing a role she was assigned to play along, “Agnes” had been just an illusion, a dream! A beautiful dream that you could not help but miss, it had been three years of you sharing your life with “Agnes” and even if she was under a spell, you actually saw the cracks of her actual self, her real personality, some times it was more noticeable but the only thing that actually differed from “Agnes” and Agatha was their way they treated you. Even if you knew the way “Agnes” had treated you had been just something she had to play under the spell, you could not help but wish that Agatha would treat you some day like that, hoping to get her to like you at least, you wanted her to love you the same way you loved her, why had you been doomed to love the person who did not even like you at all?

Even if you had lived three years with her, it only had felt like a short period of time, you had spent so many time loving her, waiting for her to reciprocate your feelings for real, but at this point, you knew it would never happen, and you would only love her forever even if you did not want to, because, how on earth could you actually stop loving her? 

Agatha could not stand the state you were in, she had caused this, she had hurt you, again, she did not deserve you, she would never deserve you, you would only get more and more hurt with her by your side, how could you still be there with her?

You knew Agatha very well, or at least that was what you thought, but did you really?

The three years you had passed with her, you had thought you had got to know her entirely,  you had let yourself think that maybe if you were patient enough with her, gave her enough space, the space she needed, the time she needed to open up, she would realize slowly that she could trust you, and then she would magically realize you loved her completely and that you would do anything for her, hoping she would return one day your feelings, but just as you still could hear her screaming at you, you felt so stupid, still holding onto a stupid daydream and feeling that would never happen,

You loved her so much it was ruining your life and even though you knew that very well, you were sure you would not stop doing it.

Lilia noticed the tension between you and her, well, everyone noticed the tension, but no one dared to move or say something, too afraid to make everything worse, the teen was mad, he could not understand why Agatha treated you the way she did, when the only thing you wanted was to help her and make sure she was fine, you had stayed with her for three years! Taking care of her making sure she would be fine! How could Agatha be so selfish? How could she not be grateful for once in her life? He couldn’t take it anymore, you were one of the kindest people he had gotten to know, and  the way she treated you and said mean things to you had to change, he started to walk towards the two of you to face Agatha and help her to get some sense into that thick skull of hers, Lilia noticed the boy walking with an angry expression on his face, the way his hands had formed into fists and knew that would end up even worse, the divination witch turned her face to quickly look at Jenn and Alice and as if they had understood the two witches nodded at her and Lilia took this chance to quickly stand up and walk as fast as she could towards the fuming teen to stop him.

Lilia put her hand on his shoulder and placed herself in front of him, to stop him from going farther and looked at him straight into his eyes.

The dark-haired boy frowned, confusion all over his face, but Lilia only shook her head, as if telling him not to do what he had in mind.

“Let’s give them time, I can sense your intentions are good, but we cannot interfere, I hate the way that poor girl is treated but we cannot interfere right now” The boy nodded slowly, trying to clear his head, maybe Lilia was right, but he still hated seeing you so sad.

“I will take the girl to have a chat with her, you stay here and make sure Agatha takes back that poor woman back to her home, alright?” Lilia patted his shoulder and turned back herself to get closer to you and Agatha, you were still looking down to the floor, crying silently, Agatha was looking at you not moving, just stuck there in front of you with some tears falling from her face, Lilia came next to you and placed her left hand on your shoulder, in a slow way and making sure she made sound in order to alert you that someone was behind you and getting closer to you, she had noticed the way you tended to tense when someone got too closer too you without alerting first and when someone touched you without letting you know before, so she did not want to cause you more distress, it made her feel content, that she did not startle you.

“Let’s take a walk alright sweetheart?” You nodded and slowly turned yourself around to start walking never taking your eyes off the floor, Lilia saw the way you started to walk slowly and went back to look at Agatha.

“I’m going to make sure she’s fine, please take Sharon back to her home, we don’t need more innocent people getting hurt” Agatha nodded quickly and hastily wiped the tears off her face, Lilia gave her a soft smile before turning her body around and walked towards you, she then placed her hand again on your shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze, that action comforted you, and you made a mental note to thank her for that later. Lilia and you walked next to each other, the older and gentle woman never letting go of your shoulder, you walked in silence for some minutes, until you reached a tall tree with some tree-trunks on the floor, Lilia guided you to them and made you take a seat on one of them, she sat to your right and took your hands in hers, feeling her warm hands made you feel your eyes getting glossy again, she was comforting you and it made your heart warm.

“Oh, sweet girl, why do you keep suffering in silence?” The Sicilian witch asked you with a worried expression on her face, you didn’t dare to lift your face, keeping your eyes on the floor, too ashamed to look at her.

You felt a hand on your chin and Lilia lifted your face to look into your eyes.

“You don´t have to suffer alone, I know you don´t have magic, but that doesn´t mean you are not part of this coven, yes, it is a little messy coven, gathered on the last hour, but still a coven, and you are part of this coven, you trust in me, Alice and Jenn, I know all of us are wary of Agatha, but that doesn´t mean we feel the same towards you, you are nice, kind, and have such a pretty smile that can be contagious, I now you and Agatha are not together, and I know there is much more between you and her, I see you have a deep love for her, a love that is hurting you, so tell me, what´s going on?” Lilia spoke with such a soft tone that made you feel safe, the way she had referred to you as being part of the coven made you feel happy, you felt like you could trust in her, so you decided to do it and tell her how you had met Agatha and how you had slowly fell in love with her, Lilia never let go of your hands, caressing the back of your hands with so much delicacy that it made you feel warm on the inside.

“I still don´t know why she hates me so much, I don´t get it, I thought I would be able to make her like me at least, but she doesn´t even tolerate me, I know she doesn´t care, she always makes sure to say it out loud, but why does she have to be so mean? I know maybe I should not love her the way I do, not after everything she has done, but I cannot make myself stop the feeling, I love her and I hate the way loving her makes me feel” Lilia listened to you carefully, making sure not to interrupt you, she did not think Agatha did not care about you, she saw the way the blue-eyed witch had ran off towards you, she saw the desperate state Agatha had been when she saw you almost drowning in the mud, she saw the way she had hesitated to cut your skin, but hadn´t had any problem using the knife on the teen, Lilia was a very observant woman and was aware of how Agatha always looked at you and watched you carefully since all of you had arrived at the road.

She knew Agatha cared for you, deeply, but the way she treated you made you see the contrary and also made Lilia wondered the reason of her cold treatment towards you but the immense care she felt for you when you were not looking, Lilia was not dumb, and neither any of the other witches, even the teen noticed the way Agatha looked at you from time to time when she thought no one was looking, but her actions demonstrated the contrary, and the only one who could show you and let you know the truth to stop the pain you had in you was the same person who inflicted the pain on you, Agatha had to be the one to talk properly with you, but Lilia was not even sure if Agatha would do it, the purple witch was stubborn and sarcastic, and listened to no one but herself, so trying to talk to her would not even work.

“Listen dear, I´ve seen some things, I have lived for centuries, and I can assure you, Agatha just does not know how to express herself correctly, I am not making excuses for her, no, the way she treats you is not correct, and it makes me feel angry at her for causing pain to you, but I can also see she is in pain as well, I am not the one who needs to speak about what she feels, just give her some time, and take some time for you as well, I know it is really hard right now, because we have to help each other and we are constantly together, but take some time for you and for her, you can always come to me if you feel safe, even Alice, Jenn and the boy would be more than happy to help you and make sure you are fine, alright?” You nodded, not understanding completely everything she had said, but still having her listening to you and advising you made you feel content and kept your heart warm, she gave one last squeeze to your hands and you smiled softly at her.

“See? You have such a pretty smile, it hurts me to see you so sad sweetheart” You laughed softly and Lilia laughed as well, your smile and laugh was really contagious.

“Can I hug you?” You liked that Lilia had asked before and you quickly nodded, you really needed a hug right now, you felt her arms surrounding you and you did the same, her hug made you feel happy and kept your heart warm, Lilia was such a kind woman, with such a beautiful soul.

You heard some footsteps getting closer in a slow way, and Lilia and you separated slowly, you wiped your face again with the sleeve of your jacket and gave her another smile.

“Hey” You heard someone greeting in front of you, and turning your head to look at the owner of that voice you saw Alice walking slowly towards you, her hands stuck inside the pockets of her jacket, she was walking slowly while shuffling her feet against the leaves and dirt, she looked to the floor and then looked at you, trying not to intrude or make you feel uncomfortable, she came to stand in front of you and Lilia, noticing how Alice was moving her feet around the ground shily, and it made you chuckle slight.

“You can come sit here next to me” You patted the spot to your right and Lilia couldn´t help but smile at the interaction, Alice smiled widely and felt excited you had let her sit next to you, she took the spot right next to you making sure she did not cross any boundaries and making sure you were not uncomfortable, you noticed the way the protection witch was trying so hard not to make you feel distressed and it also warmed your heart, she even had made sure she was not touching you that much so you would not feel awkward and you smiled, you moved a little to get closer to her, your shoulders touching and Alice smiled widely at you.

“How are you?” The protection witch asked you softly and you pressed your head against her shoulder, Alice felt happy you were comfortable with her to do that, and it made her feel joyful, she really didn't like the way you seem so sad since she saw you at the mall, waiting slowly behind Agatha and the teen.

“I am feeling better, Lilia really knows how to cheer someone up” Lilia chuckled and Alice did the same, resting her head against yours, her hands still on her pockets.

Lilia pressed again her hand on your shoulder and brushed your arm slowly, comforting you, making you feel better. After some minutes had passed, you saw the teenager and Jenn walking slowly next to each other, when they saw you sitting between Alice and Lilia the smiled and started to walk a little bit faster.

The teen quickly came closer to you and took a seat on the ground in front of you, Jenn smiled at you as well and took the spot next to Lilia.

“Smiling fits you” The teen commented feeling happy you didn’t seem to be crying anymore.

“You have a really pretty smile, it makes me want to smile” Jenn said peaking her head to look at you, you seemed content and it made her feel really happy, it was a nice change, seeing you smile that way after only seeing you grimacing, confused or crying made her heart feel warm.

Agatha then appeared again, she was walking as elegant and confident as ever and when she saw you she felt happy, she felt happy seeing you smiling again, and being with the others who seemed to be supporting you made her feel happy for you, she still felt guilty but was not about to comment that, but what Agatha did not like was that you avoided looking at her while she explained they needed to summon another green witch.

 All of you gathered around the spot where the area in which the ground changed colors, everyone had a flower in their hands and started to ask for the traits you wished for the new green witch you have.

You were almost at the end of the queue, Lilia to your right and Alice to your left, when your turn came, Lilia placed her hand in your back letting you know it was your turn to place the flower and wish for the trait.

“Please let the new green witch be kind” 

Alice brushed her arm against you and nodded agreeing with you, Lilia gave another squeeze to your shoulder, while the teen and Jennifer smiled again at your wish.

Agatha was looking at you with a sad smile on her face, and a pang of guilty reached her heart, she had not been kind to you, what made her feel a little bit better, was the fact that the other witches have seemed to take a liking to you, she really hoped nothing happened to any of them because she wouldn´t know how you would react if you lost one of the witches who were kind enough to make sure you were alright, she feared for them and for you, a really strange feeling she was not used to.

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“Why are you so mean if you feel the same way she feels?” Rio who was asking Agatha from behind caressing her hair. Agatha quickly turned herself around to face Rio, how had she noticed? How had she figured it out? She tried to say something, something to prove that Rio was wrong, but she couldn’t, she knew she could not lie to Rio, the brown-eyed woman would notice right away, and she hated that.

Rio chuckled and proceeded to take Agatha’s hands in hers, she knew that Agatha was trying hard to ignore the feelings she had been having for you, the strong and deep love she actually had for you, the immense necessity to take care of you and make sure you were alright, Rio knew that in an attempt to try and bury her own feelings, Agatha had tried to have as much contact with her while all of you kept on walking down the road, Rio knew it very well and it was not fair for you nor her.

“I know why you suddenly want to be near me so much, and it’s not fair for her and neither for me and not even fair for you, you know it” Rio said while caressing the hands of the blue-eyed witch. Agatha started to feel guilty again and couldn’t deny that what Rio was saying was true, the brown-eyed woman knew her so well, but she wanted to make sure that Rio knew her feelings for her were not an act and she genuinely still felt love for her.

“I am not lying about the way I still feel about you” Agatha desperately said, squeezing the other woman’s hands.

Rio chuckled a little looking back at their hands intertwined and sighed deeply.

“I know, I know you still have those same feelings, we share the same feeling, but you know you are not being fair to her, I know you are saying the truth about us, but…”

Rio stopped to take a deep breath again and looked back to Agatha’s face.

“You keep denying what you feel about her and doing that and it is hurting not only her, it is also hurting you” Rio tried to get Agatha to realize how much pain she was inflicting not only to you.

“I also have to say that I don’t like the way you talk to her or treat her, she does not deserve to be treated like that Agatha, she doesn’t deserve to keep being on pain because you are too afraid of your own feelings” Rio commented again, sounding a little harsh, of course she hated seeing you in so much pain, not getting to see that beautiful smile of yours.

“I watched the two of you while you were under Wanda’s spell, you know? You treated her so beautiful, the way she deserved to be treated, I loved seeing when you came late to your house and y/n would wait for you, she always felt sleepy but she would always make sure to stay awake until you arrived, you would hug her and kiss her making her blush so much that she had to hide her face on your chest, you don’t know how happy she was…” Agatha remembered everything, she remembered doing all of that, but because of her fears and insecurities she tried to bury those memories, she was a little but surprised that Rio had watched the two of you, but she always had done something like that without her knowing.

“I really loved the way she has always listened so attentively to you, always listening to everything that you had to tell, I even feel jealous of her just giving all of her love and attention to you, I would love if she looked at me the way she does it when it comes to you” Rio said a little ashamed, feeling too exposed saying how she felt.

Agatha felt surprised listening to Rio’s confession and couldn’t help but feel a little bit jealous for the fact that she wanted you for her as well.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal her from you” Rio winked at her playfully.

“I just, would like to keep talking with her and with you, after all this finishes, if you’d like” 

Agatha liked the idea of getting to be with her and you, but now you were not even looking at her, not even meeting her gaze! You have been avoiding her since she had yelled at you.

“But she is not even looking at me anymore! She has finally realized the monster I am” Agatha couldn’t hide anymore how distressed she was feeling, the mere thought of you leaving her was making her heart break into pieces, Agatha threw herself at Rio hugging her and clinging to her clothes, sobbing hard against her chest.

“Since I entered that house in Westview, the one I took over to follow my plan, and she was there waiting for me inside what she thought was our home, she opened the door, and smiled at me with one of the most beautiful smiles I have seen ever, she was smiling at me, she called me love and said that she had made dinner for me, I knew right away she was under Wanda´s mind control, I just never thought Wanda would give me a fake wife you know, not that I minded at all” Agatha said with a soft smile even if the tears were still streaming down her face.

 “I never minded her you know? Yes having her there was nice, I just thought that the way she treated me was because of Wanda´s mind control, because of the role she had been given to play, it was bad, I had started to fall slowly, it started with her usual greetings in the morning, always asking if I had a good sleep, or if I wanted something specific to eat in the morning, always waiting for me whenever I arrived late, so I decided to stop the feeling and release her from the spell, so she would leave the town, and leave me…” The blue-eyed witch was being sincere, something that was so hard to get her to do, so Rio only listened slowly to her while caressing her hair.

“I decided to just wake her up from the mind control so that she would not act like that anymore, my heart and mind could not stand the fact that I was falling for an act, I was falling for the pretty girl in my house, for the amazing and beautiful woman in my home, always attending to what I needed, always making sure I was alright, always trying to cheer me up and say how smart I was, I wanted for all of that to end because I couldn´t stand the idea of that not being real, I was going to let her go, my heart was shattering I was going to lose her, but I was not going to just stay there and fall for that, enjoying and feeling happy because of her while she was in pain as well, so I decided to wake her up one day when she was showing me what Wanda had gifted to her, she was happy, showing me the small glass piece shaped like a bunny, it was shaped like Mr.Scratchy, she was so happy she was saying that she was going to put it on our  nightstand, and I couldn’t take it anymore, I quickly just placed my hand on her temple and then I just waited for the worst”  Agatha recalled the way how she had waited for you to start asking where were you, who was she, and what had you been doing there, but what happened shocked her and she did not know if she had to feel relieved or even more scared.

“But the worst never came, she blinked several times, looked at her surroundings and then at the small piece of glass, then she looked at me with her beautiful eyes, there was no trace of fear nor confusion, she seemed relaxed, and you know what she said to me after that? She said thank you, I wanted to be able to move Agnes, would you let me keep Mr. Scratchy´s twin made out of glass?” Agatha chuckled bitterly, in that moment she realized you still were conscious, you remembered everything but did not seem to be angry nor agitated, you were relaxed, but she was not sure about the way you truly felt so she decided to once again, hide her true feelings.

“I just told her she owed me and she had a debt to pay to me, and you know what? She agreed happily, she said she would help me with whatever I needed that she was really happy there, with me! I thought she was only saying that because maybe she was scared and I thought that she would reveal her true self, her true feelings, that she would start acting different, but none of that happened, she still was there for me, waiting for me at night, making breakfast for the two of us, making sure I was fine, asking about anything, always praising every single thing I did, and even after every mean comment I said to her, she still stayed, I even hurt her once by accident! I threw her against the wall, I never got to say sorry, I did not even stay to check on her, I thought that day she would finally pack her things and leave, but she stayed, she has been staying all this time and I have only treated her like she is not worth anything to me, when she means the world to me, why can´t she just leave, yell or say something to me? I am a monster, even after every bad things I have done to her, she is still here” Agatha started to sob more, recalling every bad thing she had done to you made her think more and more you were not safe with her, Rio took her by her shoulders and made her look into her brown eyes.

“It is never late to say sorry, it is never late to finally let her know how you truly feel, if you want that girl to stay with you, and if you do not want to lose her nor let her go, with only an explanation, a sorry and telling her about your real feelings, she is going to understand everything, you have to stop inflicting pain in her and in you, can´t you see how much she loves you? The way she looks at you with such admiration, and I know, you showed her how you really felt during those three years you were under Wanda´s spell, or am I wrong?” The blue-eyed witch sighed and nodded slowly, there were times in which Agatha would be conscious from time to time,  she would come to her senses and realized that everything was just Wanda´s magic making her believe and act in weird ways, but even during those short times, she still acted the same way towards you, taking advantage that you thought she was under the spell, it was a way in which she felt somehow safe, and she had every memory about those three years, the way you smiled when she hugged you, the way you blushed when she complimented you, for her it had been real, and she loved all the time she got to spend with you, but her pride, insecurities and fears made her act the same awful way towards you when she was released completely, and she hated herself for that.

“I know you think you don´t deserve her, that you don´t deserve her love, but you do, but if you do not let her know the real you and your real feelings, you are risking everything you can have with her, Agatha if you do not talk to her, she is going to leave, and I don´t want to lose her neither, I know you love her the same, but if you do not let her know that, how is she going to know your true feelings? If you keep acting that way towards her you would only keep ruining your life and hers, do you understand that? I know you are scared of something happening to her, but you have to show her you care, you have to show her how much you truly love her, she needs you to reaffirm and confirm all of that” Rio was speaking in a soft way, her soft voice explaining everything to Agatha who always was a mess when it came to feelings, Rio wanted to stop the suffering you and Agatha were passing through.

“Love doesn´t have to make you suffer” Rio said with a smile on her face.

“I saw the two of you during all these three years, and I saw the love you two share, I know it´s easy for you to hide your feelings, but it is hurting you more and her, you may have been under Wanda´s spell, but I know that way was easier for you to show how you truly felt, you should really talk to her and say everything to her just as you did with me, or would you like me to talk to her?” The way Rio was asking the last question made Agatha realized that this other woman also cared for you and she cared for her as well, if she could mend everything with her and you at the same time, she would be more than happy, Agatha was aware she had to be the one to talk to you and explain everything to you, she needed to do that for you, so she shook her head slowly.

“I want to talk to her, and explain everything, but, what if she doesn´t believe me and decides to leave?” Her biggest fear was you abandoning her and she was sure she would not be able to stand it, Rio chuckled slightly, how could Agatha really not see the immense love you had for her?

“She is not going to leave, she only needs to hear what you just told me, and be honest, completely honest, no more lies, no more acts, alright?” Agatha understood and felt a wave of excitement, she wanted to mend things with you, and was grateful for Rio being there to help her, the blue-eyed witch hugged the other woman and sighed deeply.

“No more lies” Agatha repeated against Rio´s chest.

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Agatha tried to get near you to have a proper talk with you, but it seemed like you were ignoring her, it was as if you did not want to talk to her, you were not even looking at her when she spoke or was asked something, the blue-eyed witch felt desperate and every time she tried to get closer to you, you always seemed to get to the other side or get to talk with the teen or with any of the other witches but her, any time that would happen she would turn to look at Rio to lift her hands and point at you to make her see you did not want to talk to her, Rio would always place her hands in the air and slowly move them downwards as a way of reminding Agatha to calm herself down and not push things too much.

Agatha was in a rush to get to talk to you properly, she felt the need to explain everything to you and tell you her true feelings but you were pushing her away, she couldn´t help but feel desperate.

You wanted to give Agatha time to calm herself, because you still thought she was annoyed, so whenever you noticed she was near you, you decided to give her some space, not knowing what she actually wanted to do, Rio  wanted to interfere and get the two of you together so you would have the chance to properly speak, but right where she was about to step up and get the two of you to talk, another house appeared in front of them, and given Alice´s reactions, it was clear the next trial was hers, so all of you entered to the house, getting ready for whatever would come.

Agatha went to talk to you when she noticed the teen and you were around the piano with Alice, the three of you were laughing while Alice told you the different keys of the huge instrument.

“I would have loved to learn how to play piano or any type of instrument when I was a kid, but my parents actually didn’t care about what I liked, I remember I liked to draw with crayons and pencil colors but when I asked them to buy me some coloring books or some pencils they would always tell me it was a waste of money and time, then I just grew up and kind of lost interest in certain things” You said while touching softly the keys just softly enough to feel the cold keys without pressing hard into them to make them sound, you had not seen the way Alice and the teen shared a sad look.

“I can teach you to play when we get out of this” Alice commented while looking at you with a big smile on her face, her heart ache for you.

“That would be awesome isn’t it awesome? You can also come to my place and I can show you everything I have, I’m pretty sure you are going to like my movie collection, remember you told me you loved watching movies” The teen said after he listened to Alice’s offer, he wanted to make sure you knew that after all this finished, and all of you completed everything you still would have friends with you.

Your heart couldn’t be filled with so much more love, it felt nice to be wanted to share things with people you liked, it was nice to be felt included, it was amazing to feel wanted and cared enough for people to invite you to do things with them.

Agatha slowly got closer to you and cleared her throat not to scare you.

“Hey can you-“ She had not even finished her sentence when you quickly turned around and started to walk away.

“Yeah, I will make sure not to get in your way” You said out loud and walked towards the corner of the room leaving Agatha shocked and with her mouth open.

“That’s not what I meant” Agatha said softly looking at Alice and the teen, they didn’t say anything and then Rio appeared behind Agatha brushing her shoulders softly.

“Can you tell y/n that she doesn’t have to actually do anything? I don’t want her to get hurt” Agatha told her not minding if Alice and the teen heard what she was saying, the pair only looked at each other confused.

“Will do, don’t worry, go prepare yourself to show off, she likes your clothes by the way, she was looking at you through the mirror” Rio winked at her and walked off to meet you, her last comment made Agatha smile and took a look at her clothes.

“You know she only wants to make sure you’re safe, right?” You heard Rio talking behind you and you decided to turn yourself around to face her, taking a look at the witches in the middle of the room, Agatha was making sure the microphone was to her level, making you smile slightly.

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that” You replied to her looking at the floor, she shook her head and slowly put her hand on your chin, lifting your face to look thoroughly your expression.

“Agatha is a complicated woman, I used to be with her, and she has always been like this, it’s her own way to cope with things, I know it’s not the best way, but if you let her explain herself, everything will make sense, alright?” The woman in front of you sounded sincere, and the way she caressed the skin on your face comforted you in the same way Agatha had made you feel when she was under Wanda’s spell.

You leant into her touch, enjoying the feeling she was providing you; you closed your eyes enjoying the moment.

“You are so beautiful” Rio said in a whisper, you opened your eyes to look at her, feeling your face getting warmer.

“Thank you, you are really beautiful as well” Rio smiled at you making your heart leap.

You could have sworn you have seen her before, but you were not sure where or if it was possible.

“I know you love flowers; it is amazing how you care for the garden you have on Agatha’s garden, making sure they are always watered”

You were surprised, how did she even know that?

“I know it’s weird, but I hope this doesn’t scare you off, but I’ve been looking after you and Agatha, well, maybe a little bit more after you, Agatha has been having you looking after her during these past three years, I wanted to make sure you were also fine, we both know Agatha can take care of herself but is never that bad to make sure she’s fine like you have been doing, right?” Rio took your hand in hers and brought your hand to her lips to press a soft kiss to your knuckles, making you nervous.

“Careful Agatha, she’s stealing your wife” Jenn commented loud enough for her to be the only one to hear, Agatha pursed her lips together and sent you a look.

Rio was talking to you in the corner of the room, she was playing with your hair and you were playfully pushing her hand away, the two of you were laughing and even if the brown-eyed woman and her had already talked about what they wanted, which was the same thing, or the same person in this case, she couldn’t help but feel jealous, you had just met Rio hours ago and there you were touching her playfully?

What made her feel more jealous was when she saw the way Rio gave you one of the flowers hanging around her hair and gave it you, you didn’t think twice to take it in your hands.

“Rio, care to join us? We have to hurry” Agatha called out loud with her hands pointing at the instruments.

Rio winked at you and brushed slowly her hand on your hand.

“We can keep talking later love” The pet-name had made you blush and you only nodded trying to hide your smile while caressing slowly the petals of the flower Rio had given to you.

Rio came towards all of the other witches who already had an instrument in their hands and Agatha quickly took Rio’s shoulder, stopping her from walking past her.

“I told you to only let her know to stay away, not to go and flirt shamelessly with her in front of us” Agatha hissed to her, trying not to yell and Rio couldn’t help but laugh.

“Calm down, we already talked, we have to make her feel safe, that’s what I’m doing” Rio tried to reason with the blue-eyed witch.

“She’s is not only yours” Agatha said again warning the brown-eyed woman.

“Then we better hurry so you can let her know you want her to be yours as well, right?” Rio replied back with her eyes wide opened and a big smile on her face, Agatha only sighed and let her walk towards her instrument.

｡˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩

It happened so fast that you didn’t even get the chance to cover your face or turned around, but it was too late, the next thing you knew you were being carried and you felt the hot and thick liquid coming out from several parts of your body, and the different cuts all over your face made you feel more pain.

All they had heard was the sound of something about to crack, and after they had the chance to do something the glass in front of you shattered into millions of pieces, everyone out of instinct covered themselves but when Agatha realized you had been the one too close to the glass her heart started to beat faster, turning around quickly she saw you were about to fall to the floor completely unconscious, so she ran as fast as she could catching you in the process.

“Please we need to help her, she’s bleeding so much” Agatha screamed completely terrified, she had tried to protect you and she hadn’t even been able to do that.

Yes, they had passed the trial, but that didn’t make them feel happy nor excited, everyone was completely worried about you but the way Agatha seemed to be so desperate trying to stop the bleeding and the tears falling from her face showed how scared she was.

Agatha was passing her hand through her hair nervously not knowing what to do, she felt useless, completely useless.

“Please we have to do something, she’s not responding!” Agatha yelled completely desperate looking at the other witches.

They placed you on the floor carefully, Agatha quickly started to look for any more wounds and when she saw a big spot of blood that had formed on you abdomen it made her cry harder, she carefully lifted the shirt to see the wound and what she saw made her gasp as well as the other witches who were looking horrified the scene in front of them.

“Let me try something” Jenn quickly made something with the water on the little pools on the floor, and started to say something in Latin, Agatha was trembling with fear, without her powers she was not even able to heal you.

Rio came to stand next to her to take her hand in hers to give her some kind of comfort, the brown-eyed woman was trying really hard not to shed any tears, trying to be strong for Agatha.

The teen had his hands in his head, not wanting to look at the amount of blood coming from you, he was so scared for you and started to walk in circles due to his nervousness.

Jenn came back to your body and kneeled to try and pour the water onto your wound, she carefully removed the big piece of glass stuck in your skin and Agatha couldn’t stand the sight, her eyes were completely red, her hands shaking out of fear.

“There is so much blood! Are you sure that’s going to help?!” Alice suddenly asked not sure if she should get closer or give you space, Lilia had kneeled next to you, caressing your hair and with tears in her eyes.

Agatha hoped that whatever Jen was pouring into your wound would stop the bleeding but even after the water was poured completely on you, the blood didn’t stop from coming out of the wound in your stomach.

“It’s not working! Jen why is not working!?” Agatha yelled scared and confused, she kneeled down as well trying to see if maybe her powers were back, but they had not come back to her.

“Damn it!” The blue-eyed woman didn’t know what to do, she had wanted to apply pressure into your wound but was afraid of making everything worse, she didn’t know what to do for once in her life.

“We have to do something, she’s still bleeding!” The teen came running towards you.

“Agatha, we have to do something if we don’t stop the bleeding she will die!” Everyone felt a pang of fear and pain when they heard the teen saying that.

“No, no she won’t die!”  Agatha took your face into her hands, softly caressing the spots that were free off any wounds.

All of the witches were crying at this point, how could it be possible that out of all of them you had been the one to get hurt?

“Please doll, you can’t die, you can’t leave me, I don’t want you to leave, I love you, we still haven’t talked! I still have to let you know everything, I love you please you can’t leave me” The way Agatha was talking to you and pleading for you not to leave her was a shattering their hearts.

Rio couldn’t stand the sight, you were in fact dying, she removed slowly from Agatha and the blue-eyed witch panicked.

“No, no, no please, don’t take her, it’s not fair! Please I beg you not to take her, please my love you can’t take her” Rio’s heart was breaking into millions of pieces, the way Agatha was suffering, the way she would suffer even more if you died, the way Rio would also suffer from your loss, everyone here would suffer horribly if you died, Rio knew it was not fair, it was not fair that you had to die like that, an innocent, Rio knew she had a job, her job was sacred, but would she be able to break the rules for you and Agatha? She hadn’t got the time to speak properly with you, to show you how she truly cared about you, all these years looking after Agatha and you had made her fall for you as well, the way your smile was so sweet and contagious, the way you would always try to hide your face when you were feeling nervous, she couldn’t bring herself to take you with her and never see you again.

The other witches were completely confused, why was Agatha pleading to her not to take you? They were not understanding until Rio’s face showed for a second her true image making everyone gasp in fear.

“I can’t interfere Agatha, I am the natural order, I should never stop the natural order of things” Rio’s voice was deep, and Agatha’s sobs were becoming louder.

“Why is it always an innocent the one which has to pay for the bad things?” Lilia asked out loud caressing softly your hair making sure not to hurt you more.

Rio slowly pressed her hand on the deep wound on your stomach and when she took her hand off, the blood had stopped coming, the gash on your skin was not there anymore, and your breathing became normal.

“You saved her” Agatha’s eyes were full of tears,  the hot streams of tears still falling down her face, but at the sight of your abdomen with no more blood coming and with no trace of the wound, she finally felt she could breathe, Rio only nodded and quickly wiped the single tear that had fallen down her face.

“I couldn’t bring myself to hurt the two women I love” She whispered. 

“I will make sure nothing ever happens to her, right now we have to make sure she rests for a while, I can take care of the other small wounds that she has all over her face and hands, we have to move her to a place where she can rest” Everyone nodded when Rio finished talking, and Agatha and her made sure to take carefully your body to carry you on their arms.

The teen who has the first to compose himself to make himself useful started to gather as many leaves as he could, he started to take many with him from the ground, Alice who quickly understood what he was doing started to do the same.

“Where are you going to put her?” The teen asked when he came next to Agatha and Rio who had you in their arms.

“Over there, thank you” Rio said calmly, she knew you were safe.

Alice and the teen gathered as many leaves as they could and put them where Rio had pointed at, in a spot where the path had some different flowers and a tall tree in the middle, Alice and the teen made sure the leaves they had collected were enough and made sure if was comfortable enough, Agatha and Rio placed you on there carefully, making sure they would not hurt you more.

After they placed you on the leaves Agatha stood up and quickly took her coat off, placing it over your body and making sure you were covered, Lilia came walking to stand next to the two witches and did the same as Agatha, she carefully took her sweater off and kneeled next to you to place it over your body, making sure the two pieces of clothes that belonged to her and Agatha were covering you fully, Agatha felt very touched seeing how everyone also cared about you, and she reminded herself to thank them for that.

Alice noticed the way your head was placed in a weird way so she took her jacket off and moved closer to you, folding her jacket carefully to shape it like a pillow, but noticed the way the zipper had not been carefully hidden so it would not hurt you, Jenn came next to her.

“Let me try” Jenn stretched her hands out and Alice handed the jacket to her, Jennifer carefully folded in a way the zipper would not hurt your head, and handed it back to Alice, the protection witch carefully kneeled and Rio did the same, the green witch lifted your head slowly and Alice placed her folded jacket under your head, finally your head was not in a strange position and you seemed to be comfortable enough.

“Thank you” Agatha said looking at the witches that stood in front of you.

“Thank you for taking care of her, for making sure she´s alright, I will always be in debt with you” Agatha said again with tears forming in her eyes again.

All of the witches were surprised because this had been the first time, they were seeing Agatha being vulnerable.

“We didn´t do anything” Jenn said while looking at you, she still felt bad for not being able to actually do something to heal you.

“Your potion didn´t work, because she was not supposed to be healed, it was not you, your potion worked perfectly fine, you saved Sharon, but this was something different” Agatha said looking at Jenn straight into her eyes and then the blue eyed-witch turned her head to look at Rio, giving her a smile, Rio smiled back at her, knowing exactly that what Agatha had said was true, the potion´s witch was not able to heal you because you were not supposed to be saved.

“I mean, thank you for being with her, I know you may not have known her that much, but seeing you making sure she was fine and letting her walk next to you when she did not want to be near me, make me feel relieved that at least she had someone looking after her” Agatha said sincerely.

“That girl is a gift, a wonderful young woman who deserves every single good thing, and we are going to be with her until we can and until life allows us to” Lilia said with a soft tone all while looking at Rio, Rio nodded at her softly, as a way of thanking her.

“We will leave you to take care of her, we are sure you have too many things to talk about and talk to her when she wakes up, we will be waiting for you to come back with her, alright?” Lilia commented again and Alice, Jenn and the teen nodded, the Sicilian witch was right, they needed to leave the three of you alone and give you time to talk, Alice and the teen were the first ones to start walking back to the spot where the door had been, the two of them smiled at Rio and Agatha, Jenn was the second to leave, sighing deeply and Lilia stopped next to Agatha to grab her hand in hers.

“Make sure she recovers well, and Agatha please stop making her suffer, I know you are suffering as well, so I hope when she wakes up, you will talk to he properly and I hope you say sorry to her” Lilia was looking straight at the blue-eyed witch and Agatha nodded.

“I will do it, thank you for talking to her, she seemed more relaxed after your talk, so I am really grateful for that” Lillia´s face softened and she patted Agatha´s shoulder, she knew Agatha would do the right thing, so she left to join the rest of the coven where they had left, leaving Agatha and Rio standing next to each other.

Rio took Agatha´s hand in hers and the two of them sat net to you on the ground, the blue-eyed witch took your hand in hers caressing the back of your hand and Rio caressed your forehead softly, healing the wounds you had and making sure they all disappeared.

They were not sure how much time had passed but they felt you started to move slowly and Rio and Agatha quickly went to help you to sit down on the spot you had been placed.

“How are you feeling doll?” Agatha asked you while she quickly went to grab your face with her hands, there was no trace of blood nor any wounds on your beautiful place, and she felt relieved that you seemed to be relaxed and not in pain, seeing you with your eyes opened was the most beautiful thing, she had been so scared to lose you, she would never forget how much she had feared for your life, she would go absolutely mad if she lost you for real.

Your first reaction was to blink several times, were you dreaming? Why did Agatha look so worried? And most important why was she touching your face with so much softness? Rio noticed your confused expression and giggled gently, she came to sit next to you, her shoulder touching yours and one of her hands went to hugged you by your waist, making you feel your face getting warmer.

Agatha couldn´t help herself and quickly leant to pressed a soft and quick kiss to your lips, it had been so out of nowhere and of course you had not expected her to do that, but it made your heart beat so fast, that it made you afraid it was going to get out of your ribcage with the force it was beating.

“You almost died, I almost lost you, we almost lost you darling!” Agatha´s eyes started to fill with tears again, the memory making her body tremble again and of course you worried, you took her hands from your face and brought them to your chest.

“But I am here” You said softly trying to give her some comfort.

Agatha and Rio couldn´t believe how sweet you were, you were trying to comfort the blue-eyed witch even though you had just passed through something as traumatic as almost dying.

Agatha chuckled softly and brought your hands to her lips, giving a kiss to the back of your hands, and placing them close to her face to feel the warmth emanating from your soft hands, she was so happy to know you were fine, to know you were there alive and that she was able to feel you.

“I am so happy that you´re here, and it is because of Rio, she saved you, she was the only one who was able to heal you and made you stay here with us, oh love, there was so much blood, seeing you with your eyes completely closed and not responding almost made my heart stop, I was not able to do anything, I don´t have powers, I was not able to protect you, I was so scared since the moment I heard you were coming with us, I didn´t want that anything happened to you, I tried to protect you and none of it worked, you ended up getting hurt” Agatha was crying, the tears were falling from her face and you quickly wiped the tears of her face, you hugged her and she returned the hug, her arms embraced your waist softly and Rio´s hand started to caress your back up and down.

After some minutes that you were sure Agatha had calmed down a little you separated yourself from her and looked straight into her eyes.

“It´s alright Agatha, I really appreciate that you are being finally honest with me, that you let me see this part of you, that you are letting me see the real you, I love you, and I have loved you since I started to share my life with you playing your “wife”” Agatha felt her face getting warmer and you laughed at her blushing face, Agatha really liked when it was mentioned you were her “wife” she had in mind to actually get you to be her real wife but first she wanted to mend things and pass more time with you before finally popping the question, she also was aware of the fact that Rio would start passing more and more time with you and her, so she wanted to talk properly about that with the brown-eyed witch.

“I love you so much as well, everything I have done, every lie I have told you, every mean action and comment I have done to you has been awful, I will never forgive myself for al the time I have treated you like that, I am so sorry for yelling at you, you didn´t deserve any of that, you deserve to have everything, to be treated like a queen, because that is what you are to me, please I hope you can forgive for what I have done, I don´t want to lose you, I want you to stay with me, because I love you, I know there is no excuse for everything I made you pass through, but I was scared, I was scared of my own feelings, every time I looked at you and the way you always smile, it made me fear and doubt my own feelings, you made me feel what I had not felt in centuries, and I was scared to actually face my true feelings towards you, but please, if you give me a chance I will make it up to you, I will never hurt you again” You were so touched by her words, she was being honest, and the best part was that she returned your feelings, this day could not be better, the woman you had fallen for was saying to you that she also loved you!

You had started to cry and felt another hand caressing you back as well, you gave another soft kiss to Agatha and smiled at her after separating a little from her.

“Thank you, Agatha, you really make me happy, I forgive you for everything I really love you so deeply, and I don´t hold any type of grudges against you, it makes me happy to know you feel the same way I do, so of course I will stay with you, I am not going anywhere” Agatha had a huge smile on her face, her heart was full of love for you, and she would make sure this time she show you how she truly felt about you.

You slowly turned your face to look at Rio and saw the loving expression she had on your face, Agatha patted you softly and pushed you gently to turn yourself around to face Rio.

The brown-eyed witch took your hands in hers and started to caress the palm of your hands, tickling you a little.

“Thank you, Rio, for saving my life, I will always have a debt with you, how can I show you how grateful I am?” You said to her with a soft tone, giving her a big smile and feeling your heart leaping, Rio looked at you without saying anything for a couple of minutes, her right hand with her long black fingernails came to your face to caress your cheek and then she placed her hand on your neck, caressing your skin slowly.

“If you give me as many kisses for as long as I live, you will never own me anything” Rio responded with a flirty tone, her eyes watching your lips for a second.

“Don´t worry about Agatha, we already talked, she is not the only one who will have you all to herself” Rio winked at you and Agatha rolled her eyes playfully, of course she would say something like that.

“You can start paying me now” Rio whispered, her face getting closer to you, you leant into her and pressed your lips on hers, it started as nice gentle kiss and Rio took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, Agatha noticed that and pursed her lips a little, did she really have to do it now that you were having a deep talk with them? Deep down she felt a little bit jealous, she had also wanted to kiss you like that.

“Hey, hey, that´s too much, c´mon ladies” Agatha said out loud and you separated yourself slowly from Rio´s lips, your face completely red, Rio had a satisfied look on her face, the brown-eyed witch looked at Agatha and on purpose licked her lips, making Agatha shook her head.

The blue-eyed witch got closer to you, sitting right behind you, she passed her arms around your waist pulling you closer to her and pressing her chin on your shoulder after giving a soft kiss to your temple, feeling content for having you there with her, Rio took your hands again in hers and gave them a squeeze, she also couldn’t hide how happy she was feeling, after all, she was finally able to touch you and look at you closer, it had been what she had wanted to do during those three years of only watching you from afar.

You were happy, you not only had the woman whom you had fallen in love first hugging you with her strong grip around you, listening to her breathing, you also had an amazing woman in front of you who also took your breath away, her flirty nature made her so confident, apart from the fact that she was as beautiful as Agatha and had a deadly stare, you felt happy, even if you almost died, everything had been worth it, you didn’t feel as if loving her was ruining your life anymore, it was making you feel finally complete, you felt loved and that was what mattered, not only you had two women who cared for you romantically, but you also finally had found your coven even if you were not a witch, they had treated you like if you had been really important to them, and couldn´t wait to see them again to thank them for that.

Agatha knew Rio had been right, love didn’t have to make any one of you suffer, not even her, and was grateful that Rio had made her re-think what she was doing, thanks to her, she was right there, hugging you, feeling you close, and Agatha couldn´t be happier, she knew she would have time to spend it with you and also with Rio of course, nothing would take her happiness away, and she would make sure to protect you for real and always have you close to her.

Rio was happy, more than happy, she wouldn´t let anything happen to you, and of course would make sure Agatha would be fine, she would make sure to have an eye on you, and would make sure that Agatha didn´t repeat the same mistakes, Rio wouldn´t let that anything happen to you, she would still have to explain to you why sometimes she had to disappear from time to time, and would explain to you who she really was, she would make sure not to scare you, she know it was something really important to talk about, but right now, she felt content, caressing your hair and putting flowers to decorate your beautiful hair, many different back flowers were adorning your soft hair, Rio was making sure that they would not fall, she was going to enjoy you as much as she could right now, she would have more time to speak properly to you later, right now, she knew she had to make sure nothing happen to any of you to get you safe and out of this place.

[wonsroyalty]

it's okay, i'm okay : ̗̀➛이희승

i don't want him anyway, girl, take him..

✧heeseung x f!reader

genre/warnings: 3.8k, i don’t want to give too much away :0 but angst, relationship, cheating, shouting, sex, fighting, mentions of wishing death. this in no way shape or form represents heeseung, it's purely fictional! italics are flashback scenes!!!

a/n: i’m obsessed with this song omg + i listened to white ferrari (it’s my cry song 😕) at one point while writing this so theres a few references AND i was listening to the new tyler album so if it’s not sad enough it’s because i was so excited 😭😭 ooo and the favourite song choice is from those playlists that enha made at the start of the romance untold era 🔥🔥 for @sofsofenso my no.1 fan, mwah 😽 i hope you like it !!

masterlist

"I. Love. You. So. Fucking. Much." he kissed you between each word.

Your chest was heavy as you held his weight on your stomach but you managed to laugh at his actions.

"We'll be together forever right?" you held your pinky out.

"Forever and ever!" he crossed his own with yours.

Heeseung Lee wasn’t dead but you truly wished he was.

Your naive 11-year-old heart truly believed that you'd be with him forever. He was your first everything.

You were that cheesy couple in the group that everyone believed would get married and have kids and stay together till you were old and grey.

Too bad, considering your luck was always terrible and you had attracted the devil's spawn.

The fleeting moments of you sneaking him into your room, the lingering touches you shared and the overall thought of his existence skated around the interior of your brain.

You desperately wanted to get rid of them but they brought a sense of comfort that only he could fill.

flashback!-

"I think you might be my soulmate.." he trailed off.

"Hee!" you scolded him. "Wait until after we meet your parents."

You smoothed down your black skirt, checking your outfit in the mirror one last time.

He helped you into his red leather jacket before pulling you into his embrace.

"Heeseung!"

"Okay, okay baby." he pulled away. "Let me get a picture before we go,"

The flash of his polaroid camera captured your smitten expression as he kissed your cheek.

His parents loved you, they claimed that their son had a glow around him whenever he was with you.

"Oh my, sorry. I can't focus when I look into your eyes, pretty." Heeseung whispered.

You lightly hit his chest. "I was telling you to look at this."

"Wait, new lockscreen and it's still me!" he got up and did a little dance.

"Yeah, but that not what I- "

He picked you up and twirled you around before attacking you with tickles.

"Stop, stop!"

"Tell me how much you love me and I'll stop." he cackled.

"I love you, so much, Hee." you collapsed onto his bed in a fit of giggles.

He flopped down next to you and pulled you into his chest.

"You really are my soulmate."

What a bunch of crap.

"Yn.. don't look but she's.. over there." Winter glared in the direction of the girl who was partly responsible for the end of your relationship.

flashback!-

Keeho rested an arm around your shoulder as he showed you around the party.

"You're so drunk already." You laughed at him. “Again.”

It was common for Keeho to get heavily drunk at pre’s and every time he said he would stop but just didn’t follow through.

"AM not." he pouted.

The two of you walked over to your friends.

"Where's your man?" Sungchan laughed behind his cup.

"We're not always together." you grumbled.

His comment did make you curious though as you had both made your way to the party separately.

Your grandfather was sick and you wanted to visit him in the hospital before making your way to Keeho's 19th, so you had told Heeseung he could meet you whenever he got there.

Chenle told you that he'd seen him in the kitchen earlier so they all followed you there.

"Heeseung! What the fuck!" you shouted.

Yunjin was pressed up against your boyfriend who had a hand in her hair. They were about an inch away from kissing but judging by the gloss on his lips, you could tell that they already had.

He gently pushed her away with a laugh.

"Baby, hey." he waved to your friends too.

"What is your problem?!"

You pushed him away as he got closer to you.

He grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the kitchen.

"Guys.." Winter called after you.

His feet stopped once you were inside a bathroom.

"I've never seen you that mad before, pretty." he laughed.

"Let me out."

"No way... you're actually jealous."

Your jaw dropped.

"I'm not jealous, I'm breaking up with you."

"No, you're not." His face dropped. “Your emotions are high right now because your grandfather is sick. Don’t let that cloud your judgement.”

All you could do was look away because you believed his words.

"Come on, let's talk about this." he attempted to kiss you.

"Get off! You've clearly kissed someone else tonight and you expect me to want to stay with you despite you cheating."

This wasn't even the first time you'd caught him “cheating” on you.

He laughed in your face.

"This isn't Yunjin's lip combo." he joked.

"Well, it's someone's isn't it?" you frowned.

"So, you're gonna throw away 9 years because you don't trust me?" he calmed down.

Spolier! He'd convinced you to stay with him once again!

You remember the disappointed looks from all of your friends when you walked out with his arm around you.

They weren’t the only people who began to warn you about Heeseung.

Every new person you’d interacted with told you that he was bad news but you reassured them that he was just getting used to university.

He seemed to switch as soon as you’d gotten to uni, badmouthing you to his friends, staying out late, missing dates, ignoring you and each time you’d take him back.

You even took him back when you walked into the lunch area and caught him kissing your seat-mate from Politics.

Your best friends didn’t speak to you for a week after that one.

But you’d become desensitised to the feeling you got when you’d catch him. Taking him back immediately saved you from having to argue with him and you were tired.

Tired from the stress of your degree and having to deal with Heeseung.

Everywhere you went, you received looks of pity. No one envied you for being in a relationship with Heeseung, they all felt sorry for you.

You continued to defend him and every time he’d act out and chip off a piece of your heart, leaving you embarrassed and scared.

“Hee is my soulmate.” you reiterated.

Heeseung was all you ever wanted.

He was all you’d ever known.

Hee was your first everything.

Letting him go, would be losing a part of yourself and you weren’t quite sure if you were capable of doing that yet.

But four months later at the same house you'd been pushed to your limit.

flashback!-

“Great to see that you aren’t as drunk as last time.” Chenle poked at Keeho.

“I’m on lookout, Jiung smashed my dining room table last time.” He rolled his eyes.

“Yn!” someone turned you around.

“Hey, Yunjin.” you all sighed.

“Where’s Heeseung?” she pouted.

You really didn’t know and you were tired of people asking you that.

“I don’t know, go find him if you want.” you shrugged.

You had every reason to be mad at him.

It was your 10-year anniversary and you hadn’t done anything to celebrate together.

The party was his idea of “having a fun anniversary”.

“Yunjin, don’t come over to kill the vibe.” Sungchan groaned.

“Fine.” she grumbled.

On her way past you, she pretended to trip in order to dump her drink down your front.

“Shit.” you ran off to a bathroom in order to get the ice out of your bra, not even stopping to hear Winter scold Yunjin.

Most of them were locked so you opted for the one in Keeho’s bedroom.

On the verge of tears, you attempted to calm yourself down and get a shirt from his walk in wardrobe.

You threw on a jersey that matched with your jeans and were on your way out when someone came into the main area of the room.

“Finally, I’ve been looking for you for ages.” a girl giggled.

‘What is Yunjin doing here?’

“Well, I’m a busy man.”

‘Heeseung?! What kind of a sick joke was this?’

“Ugh don’t remind me. I asked Yn where you were and she literally said she didn’t care.”

‘I didn’t say that??’

“What?” Heeseung sounded confused.

“Enough about her, I’m right here. And we have all the time in the world.”

You could hear her kiss him.

The same lips that had spent countless hours pressed against your own.

The same lips that spoke promises of fulfilment and expressed their gratitude towards you.

The same lips that whispered words of encouragement when it was just the two of you, late at night while you gave yourself to him.

You felt disgusted.

Heeseung Lee wasn’t dead, but you truly wished he was. You wanted him to suffer an unspeakable fate for hurting you but every time you thought of him, you couldn’t bear the thought of having to live without him.

The remaining fragments of your heart fell into the palm of your hand. There was nothing to fight for anymore.

You should’ve moved long before the moans reached your ear but you were frozen in shock.

‘Is this what people warned me of.’ you panicked. ‘I should’ve never let it get this far.”

Your feet didn’t wait and moved involuntarily as you gave away your hiding spot.

You needed to see it for yourself.

The tears that you’d been holding in for months fell down your cheeks.

“I can’t do this- not today.”

Pushing past them you ran downstairs and out the doors, attracting the attention of your friends.

“Yn? What, wait!” Heeseung shouted, running after you as he slipped his clothes back on.

He grabbed your arm pulling you back into his embrace.

You shoved him away violently this time.

“Baby, I’m sorry.”

“You can’t keep saying you’re sorry and then acting out and embarrassing me every. single. time. I’m fed up Heeseung, I am done with you for good. The pain I feel just from loving you is a burden that I shouldn’t have to face anymore. I love you so much, Hee- Heeseung.” You cried as you pushed him away again. “I care so much, but it’s clear that my best just wasn’t enough for you. I’m sure that- that in another life we’d be happy.. but in this one I just don’t think that’s possible.”

“Yn, no. I’ll fix this.. I’ll fix us and I- I’ll change my ways. Just- please.” he trembled. “I wanted- I want to spend my life with you.. I can’t lose you. You can’t leave me. You’re all I’ve ever known.”

“Well that’s not true,” you sobbed. “I don’t trust you anymore.”

“Baby, why.” he grabbed your hands. “Why don’t you trust me anymore? What do I have to do to get you to trust me again.. I’ll do anything for you. I love you..”

You could see your friends in your peripheral vision watching in concern. Waiting to intervene.

“Can I ask you something?” you stared him in the eye. “I need you to answer honestly.”

“Anything!” he pleaded, tears running down his face. “Ask me anything.”

“Why did you do it time after time?” you watched him deny his acts.

“Sieun told me. You were with Yunjin, Aya, Kate. You even tried it on my Winter and she’s my best friend, Mia, Yeji, Aeri.. I can’t.” The tears fell again.

“None of them compare to you.. Baby, please don’t leave.” he tried getting closer to you. “When I look at you all I see is my soulmate. I care for you still and I will, forever.”

“Well, I look at you… and I see nothing.”

For once, he didn’t even try to fight back.

The rest of the night was a blur.

Sungchan punched him and Winter took you home as you cried for days to come.

You waited by the phone for a text or even a call with an apology but days passed then weeks which turned into months.

There was an odd sense of comfort in knowing that he knew he was in the wrong but all you wanted to do was have him hold you and tell you that everything would be alright.

Yunjin waited for her coffee to be made as she looked down at her phone.

"I.. You know what.. I don't care." you leaned back in your chair.

You didn’t know if she was still dating him, and you didn’t want to.

Chenle gasped.

"Are you being real right now?" He pressed. "This is new territory."

You nodded.

Winter suddenly began to look uncomfortable.

"Coming.. over.. here." she muttered out.

"Yn!" Yunjin screeched. “You’re going to Keeho’s party tonight right?”

“Yeah.. Surprised that you are too, you know.”

She pointed at herself confused.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Keeho.” you pointed.

“Oh, I’m not. I’m someone’s plus one.” she looked away bashfully.

“That’s not a problem.” you shrugged it off. “We’re all there to get wasted anyway.”

She mistook your lack of anger as friendship.

“Well, hope I see you later.” she waved, taking off as her order was called up.

“I don’t.” Chenle groaned.

You looked at the time on your phone.

“Cute lockscreen.” Winter giggled.

It was a picture of you, her, Chenle, Sungchan and Keeho on holiday together.

That was the summer after you and Heeseung broke up.

flashback!-

“It is so hot here.” Winter fanned herself.

“That’s because you’re stood out on the balcony.” Sungchan laughed.

Everyone else lounged around your hotel room.

You were still a mess.

They were trying to distract you from anything and everything and while you appreciated the thought, you just wanted Heeseung back.

Your phone was connected to Keeho’s speaker, blasting some songs that you weren’t paying attention to.

A familiar intro snapped you out of your trance and you immediately reached for your phone.

“No- No, Yn give me that.” Chenle snatched the phone out of your hands.

You’d pressed onto Heeseung’s contact and were in the process of typing out ‘I miss you…’

You remembered what Heeseung told you the first time. “Sincerity is scary by the 1975. Whenever I hear the song, I think of you.” he shrugged. “I guess that’s why it’s my favourite.”

All it took was one song, his favourite song, and you fell back into the rhythm that they were trying to get you out of.

“Come on.” Keeho smiled as he helped you up. “Let’s go out, it’s not every day that you get to be in Hawaii!

Now two years had passed.

You were in the final year of your Bachelor’s degree, with employment lined up for you to work under a United Nations representative as you studied for your Masters.

Winter was going off to Paris to work as a designer for a luxury brand, Chenle was already earning 6 figures as an accountant while studying, Keeho and Sungchan were both planning a gap year before going into business and engineering respectively.

Your best friends, all going their separate ways. You couldn’t bear the thought.

You loved them like no other and having to deal with life’s problems alone didn’t seem too great.

Together you’d created a calendar to show whenever someone was free and had planned several group holidays to come.

Spending winter in Paris with Winter, spring break in the Philippines with Keeho and Sungchan and several mini trips in summer with Chenle.

“Cheers!” Keeho shouted.

“What are we cheering to?” you laughed.

“Us… duh!”

You’d all settled on the conservatory sofa, away from the noise and people at the party.

“We have 5 months left, don’t get sappy.” Sungchan smiled.

“Well if you think about it, it’ll be over in no time.” Winter looked deep in thought. “We’ve been friends for 19 years now and those flew by.”

19 years..

It didn’t take long for you all to realise that you really didn’t have a lot of time left in your bubble.

Having to face the real world without your found family was difficult.

“I don’t want to leave you guys.” Chenle cried into your side as you all hugged each other.

“Please don’t be a stranger guys,” Keeho sobbed. “Weekly group facetime calls, weekend trips..”

“I want postcards.” you wailed. “From your world trip.”

“You’ll all get them.” Sungchan bawled.

“Remember in nursery when- when Chenle started that paint fight and we all got scolded by the teacher.” Winter laughed with a sniffle.

Laughter broke out across the group.

You had the picture on your childhood bedroom wall. The four-year-old versions of yourselves covered head to toe and looking guilty.

Time really does fly by.

“I love you guys.”

The moment was cut short when Jiung stumbled into the room.

“Hey!”

“Not me!”

Chenle dove out of the way and you ended up covered in Jiung’s drink.

“Why does everyone put ice in their drinks!” you wined. “I’m going to steal a shirt, Keeho.”

You left the group as they arranged a ride home for Jiung and looked for a change of clothes in Keeho’s wardrobe.

Slipping a shirt on, you left his room but realised you’d wanted to use the bathroom.

There was another down the hall anyway.

You were in the process of washing your hands when you noticed the song seeping through the gap under the door.

“Sincerity is scary by the 1975.”

But you didn’t have an urge to text him.

The door flung open.

‘Why!’ you groaned.

“Ba- Yn..” he tilted his head. “You look better.”

“Please leave, Heeseung.”

You hated how he looked even better.

“Why are you looking at me like that..” you whined.

You hated how your whole being shut down as soon as you were close to him. The past two years went out of the window.

“Like what?” he whispered.

“You know we can’t..” you trailed off.

He took several steps closer to you and you hesitated to breathe.

“We’re not doing anything.” his eyes were very much focused on your lips.

Winter’s voice rang out in your head.

“Don’t tell the guys.. but if you ever end up in the same place as him, I think you should get closure. It’ll help you move on.”

You let him kiss you.

When he pulled away you brought him back, kissing his lips with a hunger you’d never had before.

He pulled you up by the waist and placed you on the bathroom counter, fingers immediately making their way under your skirt.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“One last time.” you confirmed before kissing him again with even more passion.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” he pulled down your underwear and began to lap at your cunt.

Your hands grasped at his now red hair, as your head fell back against the mirror with a gasp.

He knew you like the back of his hand and you were ashamed to reach your climax so fast as he worked your insides with precision and memory.

“Fuck.. Hee- Heeseung, I’m gonna cum.” you moaned out.

“Cum for me, pretty. You did so well,” he praised as he rubbed your clit.

The nickname and intensity of your orgasm did a number on you.

You felt lightheaded as he kissed you breathlessly before reaching into his pocket to pull out a condom.

‘Thank God, he got the message. One last time.’ you thought. It felt too intimate to let him fuck you raw.

Your fingers made light work of discarding his belt and jeans so you could pull his boxers down teasingly slowly.

“Baby, please..” he whined.

You slid off the counter and onto your knees, immediately taking him into your mouth.

Your muscles moved like clockwork, memory working overtime as you pushed his buttons the way he always loved.

“Not yet..” he whimpered.

He pulled your head off his dick and helped you stand up then bent you over the counter.

You watched in the mirror as he rolled the condom on and then rubbed his length on the slick of your release.

“Heeseung,” you whined as he nudged your clit with his tip.

“All in one?” he asked you.

You nodded.

He sheathed himself into you in one go.

Feeling as though you could cum then and there, you slumped onto the surface in front of you.

Heeseung grabbed your hair and forced you to watch him in the mirror.

Once you made eye contact, you became fully aware of the situation you were in.

You cried out as he slapped your ass before slamming into you from behind.

The moans leaving your lips and whines leaving his would be heard by everyone if the music wasn’t so loud.

He knew exactly what to do and you didn’t even have to tell him what pace to go at, he remembered.

“Hee! Right there.” you cried out. “R- Right there.”

“I’m so close.” he cried. “Shit..”

“Me too.” you held your hand out.

Heeseung grabbed your outstretched hand as you came together.

Silence overcame you both as he threw the condom into the bin and helped clean you up.

He tried to kiss you again.

You looked away.

It was clear that he had just cried but so had you.

The tension and emotion you had for each other was too strong.

“I’m sorry.” he croaked out. “I’m so sorry.”

Your arms pulled him into your embrace.

“It’s okay.”

He pulled back slightly and kissed you again.

This time it was light and if you weren’t paying attention, it would’ve felt as though he was never there.

You wiped his tears away before your own.

“Do you ever think about what life would be like for us, if things were different..?” he asked.

Someone burst into the room.

“You bitch!” Yunjin shouted at you.

It wasn’t hard to assume that you’d just had sex with the smell lingering in the room and the mirror fogged up.

“Huh?” you looked at Heeseung to explain.

“Wait, Yn- ”

You laughed in pain.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

You’d just helped him do what broke your heart in the first place.

Instead of sadness or anger you just felt done.

“We were just talking.” you lied.

You weren’t covering for him. You knew that he needed the closure as much as you did but ultimately you were trying to save your own skin.

Yunjin looked furious.

“You can have him.” she seethed. “I should’ve known that he’d never get over you. But I didn’t think that you’d try to get at him.”

“Girl, take him. He’s yours.” you put your hands up, signalling that you were finished with whatever was going on. “I had him in the first place, I don’t want him anymore.”

You felt bad talking about Heeseung like he was an object while he was right in front of you but you pushed that aside.

“No-!” she frowned.

“I don’t want him anyway,” you turned to leave. “Girl take him.”

Yunjin didn’t even try to fight it.

She seemed shocked that you’d given up so easily.

“Heeseung,” you started. “To answer your question, I did. But I learned not to expect much from you.”

Heeseung Lee wasn’t dead, but you no longer cared enough to wish he was.

THE END.

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you want to turn back the clock and jungkook wants you to stay.

idol!jungkook x reader, est. relationship / angst, fluff / word count: 5.8k

content/warnings: mistreatment of service workers / oc felt inappropriately touched by a customer (only mentioned in passing) / (oc works part-time in a restaurant) (then quits) / another dive into oc’s lore / allusion to death / grief grief grief / lots of crying :( / jk wants to move in together :") / mention of s*x (24/7=heaven?) / mention of period blood (they’re in diff contexts js to be clear lol) / u will get pissed and cry and laugh it’s fun <3

playlist! knees - iu ; chinese satellite - phoebe bridgers ; love wins all - iu

> in which masterlist

note: contains lil flashblacks from the giving up drabbles ^^ can be found in the timeline masterlist above this incase u haven’t read them and want to ^^ listen to love wins all when jungkook tells oc to wear their seatbelt (trust me). tried to encapsulate the epiphany of oh. everything’s going to be okay because i am loved when i’m at my lowest. as always reblogs & feedback are appreciated :") come chat!!

—

the rusty swing-set creaks as you unsteadily swing back and forth, staring lifelessly at your white socks and shoes stained with burnt orange. you look up to the sky but the moon and the stars are shrouded by the clouds. not even your favorite snack can poison your sadness with optimism. mouthful of bungeoppang, but you taste nothing, and every swallow only adds to the heaviness weighing on your chest.

your shift should be ending by now, which means you probably should be heading home, but your limbs have given up and refuses to move.

jungkook’s special ringtone ceaselessly disrupts the night scene’s quiet, but there’s no point in answering his calls when you know no words would come out of you.

“are you an imbecile?! you can’t understand basic instructions?!”

“ma’am, i’m so sorry. i’ll take it back and give you the right ord-”

“we’re fucking starving! move faster!”

you flinch as the bowl collides with the tiled floor, producing an ear-splitting sound that reverberates throughout the entire restaurant. you want to give the woman the benefit of the doubt and believe that she just shoved the bowl a little too harshly due to her frustration, but you have a hand over your mouth not due to shock, but the inexplicable pain of having your skin burnt by the piping hot soup… and she’s just… there.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry! please understand. she’s just in a bad mood. she’s not- she’s not usually like this.”

you stand on your spot, frozen and speechless, as her husband profusely apologizes. you’re only jolted out from trance when you feel him wiping your legs with crumpled tissue papers, a little too farther up for your comfort. a fleeting tug-of-war ensues when you forcefully rip them away from his hands. you thank him despite not meaning it.

you grip the edge of your skirt as you sit on your heels, picking up the broken shards of glass scattered across the floor. a concerned co-worker swoops in with a broom and you instantly jump the opportunity to save yourself from the mortifying stares, mumbling another thank you as you take your leave.

“you said table six.”

“____, i’m sorry. that was a fault on my part.”

your manager observes your current state. his stare lingers at your feet.

“but they don’t know that! she literally burnt me!”

“look, we don’t have to take this too far. it couldn’t have been that hot. we can see you’re still walking.” his condescending tone makes you feel so small, but it fuels the anger inside of you. “you don’t have to pay for the damages, so let’s just put this behind us.”

you gasp in disbelief, and it borders on a laugh. you feel crazy. you can’t believe this is actually happening to you. he can’t be fucking serious.

the workers in the kitchen remain quiet as tension arises, minds a tornado of thoughts but mouths remaining shut in fear of getting on the bad side of their superior.

“well you…” you hastily strip off your apron, bunching it up into one big ball. “don’t have to pay me anymore, because i fucking quit! i hope this place burns down!”

and you ensure that it hits him on the face before you turn around to march out of the kitchen. on the way out of the restaurant, you nonchalantly grab a bottle of water from the fridge, twisting off the cap as you push the door open. you leave a wet trail behind your steps as you pour the cold water over your feet, a poor attempt to soothe the sharp pain of the injury.

you know it will be alright eventually; you will heal, but this… this is leaving a permanent scar on your dignity.

with a vexed groan, you retrieve your vibrating phone from your pocket.

LAST EVICTION NOTICE— you do not even bother reading the rest of the words that come after that.

“fuck!” you scream, throwing the bottle at the nearest wall, hands coming up to your hair to roughly pull in frustration. the heels of your palm dig into your eyes and your knees give way to the ground. “this is a nightmare.”

it dawns on you that you’ve finally arrived at a surface on the rock bottom that you so awfully dread. you find yourself standing here— infront of the atm machine, staring blankly at the large number displayed on the screen. this money isn’t yours. this didn’t come from your blood, sweat, and tears. it’s an amount that you’re supposed to accept as a payment for the eulogies you had to deliver. you swore you would never do this, but desperate times come when you’re forced to swallow your pride and allow it to rot you from the inside.

you’re once again faced with the ugly difference between surviving and living.

you grab the cash, hastily pushing them inside the pocket of your jacket as if you’re being burnt by them. you feel so nauseous; if only emptying your stomach would untangle its knots.

you don’t need anything from anyone. this is the first and the last time, you swear to yourself in place of your defeated oath.

you don’t want jungkook to see you like this, helpless and hollow, the antonym of the sun he willingly flew too close to. you look pathetic seeking for solace in an abandoned playground, unfortunate soul stuck at fifteen, in denial of the passage of time.

but there goes your lover running towards you, calling out your name, and you begin praying for yourself to disappear into thin air.

much to your disappointment, no wiser being grants your plea, and now you have a man tucking you in his safe embrace, uncaring of his knees being bruised by the ground.

does he need to surprise you when you least anticipate his presence?

“i’ve been looking everywhere for you! i went to pick you up at the restaurant but they told me that you quit! what happened?”

he pulls away, tenderly cupping your cheeks in his warm hands.

“was it your boss again? it’s him, isn’t it? what did he do?”

jungkook dies a little inside. your glassy eyes study his face, a clear picture of distress and concern, but at the same time, they seem so far away… like you’re not certain if you’re truly here.

you unconsciously squirm— your feet retract themselves, escaping underneath the swing; and your ankles twist, and twist, one hiding behind the other.

this doesn’t feel like being stripped naked.

you feel like you’re being turned inside out.

“what’s wrong? baby…” he utters sadly as tears drip from your lashes—one by one— even they are lost and hesitant.

your distant stare remains.

he doesn’t know if you’re even aware that you’re crying. it’s a frightening sight and he doesn’t know what else to do. he holds you in his arms but you feel too stiff for this to be comfortable. the time passes, and he lets it do so in silence.

he waits for you to come back to him.

he waits, and waits, and waits.

“jungkook… i want to go home.”

“okay. i’ll bring you home, baby.” he strokes your hair, breathing out in relief. “yours? or mine?”

only for his world to crumble into pieces.

“my mom…” you whisper, breathless, releasing yourself from his embrace. “i want to be with my mom.”

and only then does he see traces of emotions written on your face.

“i miss my mom so much.”

the crack of your voice gives him an opening to catch a glimpse of your heart, that is but a mosaic of broken parts. pain, grief, longing… the past two years haven’t been enough to make him well-acquainted with the anatomy of your afflictions. he has only witnessed you speak of your family with a proud and affectionate beam; old stories that spark the agent of joy. and despite knowing that you must’ve been battling your pain all these years all alone, he couldn’t bring himself to meddle with how you handled your grief. however, if he’s going to be completely truthful, he was terrified of this— of seeing you so unmoored and broken. his pain is no comparison. quite frankly, it is an insult to yours.

“i miss her so, so, so much. what do i do? i…” you sobs become uncontrollable, overcome by the weight of the world crashing down on you.

how is it possible that you feel nothing and too much at the same time? is what you would often ask before, but today you realize that your pain simply goes beyond what any of your human parts is able to fathom.

“this is too hard… it’s too tiring. i can’t- i can’t. i don’t want to be here anymore. i’m always so scared. i don’t know what i’m doing anym-”

“shh, shhh, baby- baby, breathe for me-”

“how did my life end up like this? i don’t understand! the world- it’s so cruel- i can’t stand it.”

jungkook wipes away your tears, but it’s no use. once you break down, it becomes impossible to remedy. nonetheless, that doesn’t deter your boyfriend from trying. he gathers your weeping and trembling vessel in an attempt to glue you back together, and in while doing so, he also wills himself to be strong for you.

“why did she have to go after them and leave me all alone here? am i not her child too?”

the obtuse questions you’ve been too afraid to ask out loud are being brought out in the open, spilling out from the torn seams of your soul as they’ve become too agonizing to annihilate over and over and over again.

you know the answer. you know she didn’t want to leave.

but you can’t help but to be angry at the fact that her heart gave up. you don’t understand why it had to happen and why you’re being grinded in the mouth of the world.

“i’m tired, i’m so tired. it’s so unfair… i need her with me too…”

jungkook squeezes his eyes shut, gently rocking your tangled bodies — a defense mechanism. you’re succumbing to defeat as if it’s been long overdue; even your voice is giving up on you.

if he had to imagine, the earth must have shared his current dread when it witnessed a solar eclipse for the first time, wired to assume the worst of perpetual darkness.

“jungkook…”

your weak fists desperately grasping at the fabric of his hoodie— the final thread you are hanging on. your words break into stutters and hiccups, salty tears slipping past your lips and stirring their bitter taste.

“i just want to go and be my mom’s child again.”

and he would truly fucking hate to try and get into the implication of your words, but if jungkook is going to be completely truthful— he is terrified beyond words can say. of this; of witnessing you slip away from everything you’ve ever known; of losing you. maybe he’s being selfish, but whatever it takes, he will make you stay.

he swallows the lump in his throat, hurriedly drying his eyes with his sleeve before facing you.

“listen to me, okay…?” his voice isn’t enough to pull your head from underwater; he lightly taps your cheek, even though it breaks his heart. “hey, hey, hey. look at me, baby- look at me.”

he searches for your eyes, begging them to focus on him. and it’s silly, what he does next, pressing a kiss to your lips as if this is a fairytale. but then it works— you tilt your head to subtly nuzzle your cheek against his palm— and he has to quickly recover from being taken aback. you effortlessly make a slave out of his heart.

“you never stopped being her child. and that will never happen! because even with them being gone, you haven’t stopped trying your best to be a good child and older sibling to them. i… i’m a witness to that. every single day. are you hearing me?”

can he get some sort of sign whether he is doing this right or wrong?

“you’re not alone here because you have me. you do know that, right?”

and you want to believe him… you do. but just like how you’re clinging onto him right now for dear life, you can’t forget how you had to beg him to stay.

“so stop working all these jobs! please, i’m begging you! it must also break your mom’s heart to see you torturing yourself like this. it’s not healthy! just focus on studying and let me take away your burdens, please?”

you stop breathing; your features soften like you’ve made it out of a nightmare.

“jungkook…”

“let’s live together, baby.” he sounds sure; he sounds steady, but the waver of his eyes beseeches you. “you’ve been so good to me, even when i didn’t deserve it. please… let me love you in my own way too.”

“stop. i told you… i’m still thinking about it.” you say meekly, avoiding his intense gaze. “i mean, let’s be honest. what would your family even think of me? your aunt already hates me. what if she uses this to prove that she was right about me and-”

“fuck what everyone else thinks. i couldn’t care less.”

the reminder of the disrespect you were subjected to because of him has him seething all over again. his jaw clenches in anger, and he feels obligated to take a deep breath so he can keep himself composed. growing up, he was always taught to be the bigger person, but he simply can’t implore himself to do that if it means turning a blind eye to your hurt.

“i won’t let her get away with that type of bullshit so don’t even bother thinking about her anymore. i’ll take care of it. we can’t let that get into our heads. right, baby? we said that?” his thumb caresses your cheek softly, and you hold on to his wrist, silent as you try to understand him through the thick haze clouding your mind. “i want to be with the person i love. how could that be so wrong?”

you slowly shake your head in response, a little hesitant.

“i won’t leave again. no matter how hard you push me away, i will stay within your reach.”

and here he is, kneeling infront of you, seeking to make true of what he solemnly vowed to you.

are you going to take this away from him? after everything you’ve gone through together?

he is the only thing you have left to lose.

“i love you.” you whisper, initiating the hug this time.

you’re holding him tight, like you don’t ever want to let go, and it brings jungkook to the brink of tears once more.

“i love you so much.”

he sweetly kisses your cheek, but when you pull away to give him that look, a wordless command for more, his lips finally meet yours for the first time in forty-eight hours. they slowly curve into a smile, not at all surprised that he’s tasting sugar. he’d go through hell and back to experience this kind of kiss one time, only to do it all over again.

“let’s go home?”

you blink at him cluelessly. you don’t know why he’s wearing a dimpled smile out of the blue, neither do you know which home he is referring to. nevertheless, you intertwine your fingers with his, choosing to save yourself from this forlorn neverland.

there’s just… one teeny… tiny problem…

“shit,” you mutter to yourself, freezing on your tracks.

“what’s wrong?”

you awkwardly glance down at your shoes, the origin of the squeaky sound that was impossible to be missed by your ears. after inspecting you from head to toe, a worried expression morphs on his face, and you can only show him a shy wince in response.

“i don’t want to make your car dirty.”

“baby…”

his chest feels so much heavier. he is nearly blinded with red. he wants to scream and be infuriated. what the fuck happened back there?

you merely shrug, sending him a forced smile. “do you still have those extra slippers?”

—

“jungkook, i can do it myself.”

he clicks his tongue, his hand around your calf gripping. “stay still!”

you watch him from the passenger seat, your legs dangling from the edge as he carefully takes off your shoes and socks, yet again kneeling on the ground.

“does it hurt a lot?”

“not… a lot.” you answer through gritted teeth.

perhaps the stinging never did quell; it was just pushed to the back of your mind when more painful things surfaced succeeding it.

“who did this to you, huh? i need to go back there and make them pay! what kind of decent human being would do that?!”

“a miserable woman in a miserable marriage.”

in her eyes, you may be naive and she, the decades old wiser— but who is the one with a lover who would wash not their dirty hands, but their feet that have walked a million miles?

“i feel bad for her.” you comment absentmindedly.

you’re too far deep in awe watching jungkook gingerly clean your bare feet with his hands and a bottle of cool water, doing what you were meant to do earlier, if only granted that you weren’t erupting with rage.

“____, you’re too nice.”

“you’re too nice.” you argue. “also, those shoes are hopeless. just throw them away.”

he glances at you with fondness, shaking his head as he softly pats you dry with a clean towel. you stifle a gasp. it’s no longer as bad as before, but your skin still feels warm and raw. this wasn’t in the job description. you decide that you can practice empathy, as well as your strong belief in karma, at the same time. at this moment, you hope that the universe is already crafting tricks up its sleeve, because you’re in a world of fucking pain.

“there you go. wait until we get off the car before you wear the slippers, alright? and you’re not allowed to wear tight shoes.”

he rises to his feet, not wasting the opportunity to steal a kiss.

“yeah, it was wildly uncomfortable.” you mumble against his lips, tugging at his collar to properly respond to his display of affection. “thank you.”

“wear your seatbelt.” his eyes shines with a glint of with uncontainable excitement. “we’re going home.”

—

you stir as jungkook gently shakes your body awake, his muffled voice gradually becoming clearer as you gain your consciousness.

“wake up, baby. we’re here.”

you tiredly rub off the sleep from your swollen eyes, discovering your boyfriend waiting for you where the door of the passenger seat should be.

“let’s get you some more rest.” he places a chaste kiss on your forehead, before standing aside to make way for you, offering his hand as a gentleman.

you must still be dreaming. you assumed he would bring you to his apartment, but you do not recognize this place. this is a different parking space, a different parking lot.

“um… t-this is…” you stumble on your words, feeling lost. “where are we?”

“home,” he smiles, the kind that reaches his eyes and turn them into little crescent moons.

you must still be dreaming. the clock attached to a nearby pillar strikes midnight, and unbeknownst to you, a brand new day awaits beyond the dark and empty sky.

you were so thoroughly convinced that you’ve been living a life past the point of salvation… but life stands before you overflowing with hope and glowing with ardor.

you take his hand and allow him to whisk you away to another world.

—

this is beginning to feel real, jungkook thinks as he presses the elevator button. earlier’s excitement becomes interweaved with nervousness. he’s a little dizzy as the giant box ascends. if you feel his hand’s growing clamminess, you don’t show it, your clasp still as firm as before.

“you bought another house…”

“hmm, but this one is a secret.” a confession that is yours truly. “this one is ours.”

your eyes wordlessly speak with each other. neither of you imagined following your hearts could materialize your future plans to the present time. what goes beyond dreaming of beautiful things is still foreign to the both of you, but jungkook is here, willing to free fall with you.

the elevator dings.

he guides you through a well-lit hallway, to a door, and you pay close attention as he punches in the passcode— another set of numbers you ought to have memorized alongside birthdays and anniversaries and id numbers.

your heart races but everything else moves in slow motion. the door opens and you get swallowed by the need to remember every moment so vividly as if you’re reliving it.

the first time you set foot into your own apartment,, the empty space daunted you despite its modest dimensions. however, right now, your head is tracing half of a circle, from left to right, just to study this large space in its entirety— and all you can think about are the endless possibilities forming intimate images of a sanctuary in your head— a place where fears and sadness can co-exist with tenderness and joy.

beside you, jungkook patiently holds your hand.

“this one is ours…” you repeat the words, more so to convince yourself, and they drip with disbelief.

you follow his lead as he walks to the other half of the room, bare feet sliding across the floor.

“this is the living room, and the other side is the kitchen.”

he faces you with a wide grin, the kind he wears when he wants to tell you something he is proud of.

“i was thinking that if we get a big television bolted on the wall…”

he gestures to the blank canvas, letting go of your hand to draw an invisible rectangle on the air with his arms fully outstretched.

“then we can easily watch even from the kitchen.”

he puffs up his chest, side-eyeing you expectantly.

“genius, right?”

“and greedy.” you blink. “i don’t think that’s safe to do while you’re cooking.”

“but i’ll be very, very careful!”

“that’s the bare minimum when you’re holding a knife.”

“okay! i look forward to arguing with you about that on a different day!”

his enthusiasm doesn’t waver. in fact, it is fueled. how could it not? when you’re starting to sound exactly like a couple who lives together?

he captures your wrist and tugs you towards the other side of the room, but you pull him back with a noise of protest.

“are we not going to address…” you hang on to your words, eyes wandering to the floor where there are signs of living. “whatever is going on here?”

a single mattress with a single pillow; a folded blanket neatly sitting on top of it. surrounding them are bottles of water, a laptop, a speaker, and a basket of what you assume are skincare products.

“i’ve been sleeping here lately…”

“i can see that.”

“i didn’t want to buy furnitures yet while you haven’t given me an answer… i just thought that if we’re living together, then we should decide on those things as a couple.”

…he dips down to kiss you. “it was hell without you…”

his teeth captures your bottom lip, nipping at the supple flesh.

“going to build a life with you. i’ll build furniture, and they’re going to be ours.”

jungkook feels your stare. oblivious of your thoughts reigning chaos, he tilts his head in question.

how long has he been planning this?

“you okay?”

you blink away the tears brimming your eyes. you shake your head, clinging to his arm. “where were you taking me?”

“this is the kitchen!”

a smile of contentment graces your lips. you’re guilty of admiring the pure, unadulterated joy on jungkook’s face instead of what he is passionately endorsing to you.

“this is the fridge!” he presents to you, swinging the door open. “but there’s nothing inside.”

“what are you saying? there is something.”

the two of you peer at the green can of soda, chilsung cider, left at a far corner. the refrigerator light casts over your curious faces.

“oh, that’s still there?”

the animated sound of your giggles prompts him to look at you, and he couldn’t be more glad to be laughing with you again, bellies aching at the same time.

“do you want it?”

“it’s not peach.”

“let’s move on then!”

there are cups of ramyeon and packs of dried seaweed on the countertop, the photo of his dinner that he sent last night still vivid in your memory. your hand daintily brushes across the white marble, stealing a feel as jungkook drags you to a new space.

“this is the second kitchen and laundry room!”

he waits for a reaction as you survey the room and its overhead cabinets.

“it’s not supposed to be the pantry…? eh, you know what? cooking and doing laundry are more of your thing so you can have them however you want.”

you turn on your heel to walk away, and jungkook follows behind you, celebrating his victory by punching the air and whisper-shouting a yeah!

“what’s here?”

you reach another hallway beside the living room.

“what’s here?” he zooms past you to open a door. “bathroom. there’s a bathtub! but i still need to install grip bars so no one will slip.”

he needs to stop saying things that make you want to make him your husband on the spot.

“and we have my favorite part! the master bedroom, of course!” he swings the door open on the other side. “where else would we spend the most time in?”

“wow, really? i thought you were also endorsing the living room as the bedroom.” you jokingly quirk an eyebrow.

“nonsense!” he cheekily chides you. “you deserve better than that.”

you take a step, peeking inside the empty room that you estimate to be as twice as larger than yours. you can’t say that you care so much about its size, because behind the white curtains, you reel at the prospect of the natural light shining over your face every time you wake up. your mornings have been gloomy since you arrived at seoul four years ago.

he sneaks his arms around your waist, your back resting against his chest, and your being feels so light you might just begin floating when he lets go.

“let’s stay like this for a while.”

“okay,” he puts his chin on top of your shoulder, his soft smile becoming permanent.

the two of you stand at the bedroom’s doorway; the cusp of what could be your entire lives.

“what’s that other room?”

“which one?”

“i don’t know. i see it from the side of my eye.”

he cackles at your humorous nonchalance. “i have more to show you. there’s a guest room… if we decide it to be.”

“cute. i have somewhere else to sleep when i’m mad at you.”

“that’s fine,” he replies after a beat of silence. “at least i’d know where to find you.”

“don’t make me change my mind.”

he cries out your name childishly, burying his face by the crook of your neck. he hugs you tighter. he wants to sleep every night drowning in the sweet scent of your hair. if he had to choose, it would be the most peaceful way to go.

“we have a walk-in closet too!”

“i expected nothing less.” you giggle, not a stranger to his lifestyle. “what’s exciting is that we can finally have a big bed.”

“but i like our small beds.”

“cuddling isn’t all that fun during the summer. trust me, you’d eventually want space.”

“nuh-uh! that’s what aircons are for!”

you roll your eyes at his persistence. “then why did you choose such a huge apartment if you wanted a small bed?”

“so we can have all the space to slow-dance to love songs.”

jungkook, ever the charmer. the butterflies in your stomach come alive beneath his embrace.

“why are you suddenly quiet?” he laughs. “was that too cheesy?”

“no!”

“really?” he spins you around, and heat creeps to your cheeks when he leans in so close that you can perfectly distinguish the brown in his eyes. “so have you given it more thought?”

“given what more thought?”

“there’s nothing to be scared of. it’s only the two of us here, see?” he tells you like overeager puppy. “will you move in with me?”

if this is a dream, you wish to never wake up from it. to have a person care for you this deeply and unconditionally, you want to believe that you have done something right to deserve it.

“i just don’t think you understand what you’re getting yourself into.”

his eyebrows knit together in defense. “what does that mean?”

“the thing is… yeah, sex 24/7 and cuddling and having first times together, that sounds amazing and all… but living with me would probably drive you crazy.”

a tired yawn almost interrupts the end of your sentence, and you cover your face out of courtesy. you sniffle and wipe your teary eyes with the back of your hand.

“i’ve lived on my own for so long. i’m messy and clumsy and i’m used to having everything my way… i mean… i’m willing to compromise, but i can’t promise i won’t be insufferable as hell about it.”

“ah, seriously! you scared me for nothing!” he exclaims, throwing his head back with a groan. “baby, i’ve been living with six other men for the past decade. you know that there was a time when we even slept together in one small room. can you imagine how that must’ve been like for a bunch of teenage boys…? you? messy? think about it again. living with you can’t possibly get worse than that. you don’t have to worry about me! really, i can take it! watch me!”

“but i bleed every month.”

“i’m a man. seeing a little blood doesn’t faze me.”

you make a face. “it’s actually a lot.”

“yah, why are you acting like we haven’t been together for two years?”

“it’s different living together!”

“it’s only natural! i don’t care!”

a noise of complaint bubbles in your throat when he shakes you by your shoulders, coaxing you with an whiny “please baby.”

your chest deflates in defeat. “sure, i guess… as long as we have the big bed, and the slow-dancing-”

“done!” he doesn’t waste his breath, not keen on wasting this opportunity. “anything you want, you have it!”

you narrow your eyes. “and i’ll keep my tutoring job.”

“will you punch the next guy that insists you study at his dorm for me?”

“or i can just keep saying no firmly, baby boy.”

and with that pet name, he instantly folds. “okay.”

“okay?”

“okay, since that’s the only one that you genuinely like.”

“you-” your teeth unconsciously finds your bottom lip to dig into, and you inhale sharply. “…you really love me, don’t you?”

suddenly, you’re raising your voice and waving your hands in the air. you’re feeling too many emotions at once; it’s like when you mix all the colors in a palette and end up creating black. you’re angry and happy and you may be fucking crying again.

“you were just picking up speakers one night and a pretty stranger offers you some boring food and now you want to be stuck with me forever?”

your fist throws a restrained punch to his chest, shoving him backwards.

“oh my god, you’re so stupid!”

jungkook finds this too amusing, tries to hide that he is enjoying this but a smirk is plastered on his face.

“you are loved by so many,” he brushes away the hair that has fallen over your eyes. he tucks them behind you ears and tenderly holds your face in his warm hands. “but i’m confident that i love you the most.”

you are the muse in his dreams. your perfume clings to his clothes. you make him the happiest man on the planet and your pain torments him. what is this, if not love?

“and if that makes me the stupid one? then so be it.”

“when did it become a competition?”

“since you got yourself a competitive boyfriend!”

“okay, fine! let’s make it my fault!”

you throw your arms around his neck, peppering kisses all over his face until he’s an uncontainable giggling mess.

“i’m drowning in kisses! nobody help!”

and you hope you’re hugging him close enough that he can feel the love and gratitude flowing through your veins. your eyes flutter shut, and you sigh— tranquility triumphs over chaos.

“are you falling asleep standing up again?”

“no!” you blatantly lie, drawing back with innocence masking your drowsiness. “we still need to go online shopping!”

“what are we buying?”

your face lights up. “appliances first?”

“appliances?” he cheerfully says. “sure! let’s get you new shoes too!”

as he gets dragged to the living room where his laptop is, he mumbles something with an enamored expression. “i should keep working hard.”

—

“yah, why are looking at me like that?” jungkook chuckles upon feeling your poorly concealed stare, diverting his attention away from the laptop over his stomach. “i’m the real deal. the tv is over there, on the screen.”

“just because…”

you snuggle closer to his side, heart fluttering when his arm that is your pillow moves to also hold you. you don’t really mind a small bed. this is the most favorable consequence a nuisance could have.

“i feel sorry.”

“sorry? for what?”

“because i made you sad, didn’t i? i hate that so much.” you sniffle, hand coming up to pat his cheek affectionately. “i know it must be hard for you too.”

“you’re the one who’s in a lot of pain.” he means to firmly speak, but the tremble of his voice rudely refuses to cooperate. “how could you even think of me feeling sad?”

“because i love you. of course i always think of you.” you argue, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. “i can’t do that now?”

he sighs. “you know that’s not what i meant.”

a kiss is planted on your forehead— tender and cherishing.

“let’s be happy, baby.”

the sharp edges of jungkook’s fears are eroded in a way. in a universe that relentlessly challenges you to be optimistic, your heart that is well-versed in loving continues to rise above it all.

you echo his words wistfully. “let’s be happy.”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[yellowflwrss]

“i’m so sorry baby”;dick grayson

• in which dick does the “shut up” prank on his girlfriend while she’s already having a bad day

- fluff but some angst

it had been all over tik tok, an app dick was constantly on when he wasn’t patrolling or beating people’s asses, annoying his siblings or girlfriend. it was videos of boyfriends doing a prank on their girlfriend, secretly filming in a car or in their houses as their girlfriend walks in and says something. they then cut them off with a “shut up.”

obviously, the prank can go many ways, getting amusing reactions out of the girlfriend and a funny video whenever it ends well. knowing how you are, dick wanted to see how’d you react to this prank specifically. you were sarcastic and kind and your attitude was probably what he loved the most about you. so, he was beyond excited to see what you’d say to him.

earlier that day, you had asked dick to pick you up from your nail appointment. first you had work but your boss said you’d get out early that day (for whatever reason you didn’t care to remember) and you had arranged to get your nails done afterwards for fun.

dick was going to arrive an hour earlier than he did, but he received a text from you simply asking if he could pick you up a little later, and of course dick agreed. he’s do anything for you.

parked outside the nail place he had gotten familiar with over time, dick decided to set up his phone to film the prank. a few moments later he saw you walk out of the nail salon and his smile brightened, the camera catching it all. when he saw you get closer his smile dropped, getting into character. dick unlocked your door and you sat in, putting your bag by your feet and getting comfortable. you didn’t seem as enthusiastic as he thought you would after getting your nails done, but dick continued on either way.

“hey babe. how was your day?” your face adorned a small smile.

“it was good.” was all he said. your face barely dropped, but it did nonetheless. you were confused as to why dick hadn’t asked you the same thing, when without fail that’s what he did.

“that’s good. sorry my nails took a little longer than usual, my boss made me—“ that’s when it was dick’s cue to cut you off, and oh he felt so bad.

“just shut up (y/n),” he felt like such a shitty boyfriend but he was too far in for the prank to back out now.” without looking at your face cause he knew he’d break character, dick continued “just—just shut up.” he shook his head and placed it onto the steering wheel.

your face had dropped to one of sorrow. the camera had captured you looking so sad at your boyfriend’s words and you felt so hurt. “oh. okay.” was all you said as you resulted to staring at your lap as you held back the tears that were threatening to spill out.

when all dick heard was silence for a second or two, he pulled his head to look at yours. and he knew he couldn’t go any longer when he noticed the state you were in. “baby—“ he started, about to apologize.

that’s when you started balling, tears streaming down your face as it covered the “sorry” that he repeated alongside a few apologetic words. your makeup soon got messed up as you rubbed the back of your hands to stop the tears from flowing, crying even harder when you noticed your makeup was messed up too.

dick tried to grab ahold of your hand as you cried, embarrassed. you pulled away and reached for the doorknob. not because you were mad at dick but because you were embarrassed, you felt like a child. before you could open the door, dick had reached over and pulled you to him onto his lap with two hands.

if it were any other situation, you’d be blushing and fawning over what your boyfriend had just done. but it wasn’t that situation. and despite the words he said to you, you buried your head into his neck as you cried some more. at that point you weren’t crying because of him, you were crying because of the day you just had.

“baby i’m so sorry. it was a prank—one of those tik tok pranks. i didn’t mean it at all.” he held your head as you slowly stopped the tears, still with your eyes full. dick killed your forehead and the top of your head then your cheeks and grabbed your hands softly and with care and kissed them as well.

“babe your nails look so beautiful, what’s wrong?” he keeps his grip tight but caresses your face, wiping the black mascara tears from your face.

hiccuping, you shook your head, “no, it’s fine don’t worry—“

“(y/n) tell me, i’m here to listen. do i need to beat anyone up? you know i’ll do it gorgeous.”

scoffing with a smile, you shook your head and intertwined your fingers with dick’s as you continued to sit on his lap in his car and tell him the reason for your bad mood.

“it was going all good. but then i had to stay longer to do some extra work that my boss assigned me. i hated it cause i wanted to get my nails done and see you. and then i had to call my nail salon and tell them to push it to a little later if they could—thank god they could or else i’d probably still be waiting to get them done.” you sniffled from crying earlier and continued on, “then the person who usually does my nails was sick and i had to have someone else do it. but they messed up my nails and i thought it was a quick fix so i asked if they could change a certain thing on it because im paying for their time and id charge them extra and everything.” you started to get teary eyed again and with a small squeeze of your hand from dick, you continued on with your story.

then the person doing my nails scoffed at me and rolled her eyes then started talking shit about me to their coworkers in their language. but i understood the language they were speaking. and i felt like shit.” you started to softly cry once again “i felt so bad to make them do it again and they were also making fun of me and everything else. a-and when i was thanking them profusely and all that, they all rolled their eyes at me and i payed them extra because i felt guilty. and they were just so rude. then when you said this to me i just had enough.” you were now spilling out tears once more.

“baby, it’s all okay don’t worry. those idiots are so rude. you don’t deserve any of that. and i’m so so sorry for what i said, the prank. you don’t deserve any of it you’re too sweet and you’re the best girlfriend, i’m so sorry.”

you smiled and ran your freshly manicured fingers through your boyfriend’s hair. “it’s okay dick. i forgive you. i probably would’ve forgiven you anyway.”

“i know you would’ve which sucks even more. i feel so bad. let’s go home and watch criminal minds with chocolate. and let’s cuddle. you’re getting so many kisses.” he profusely tried to say things he knew would make his girlfriend happy. even if being around him made her happy enough.

your eyes lit up and you wiped your face in fear of how you currently looked because of how much you previously cried. “i love criminal minds.” you whispered in excitement. over the past few weeks, dick had been so busy whenever the two of you had down time, so you weren’t able to chill out and be a lazy couple of couch potatoes. so when you heard this you were so happy.

with the same energy you currently had, dick said, “i know, you love criminal minds.”

“i love you.” your eyes looked lovingly into his.

“i love you more, and im so sorry for earlier baby.” even though your eyes were glued to dick and your mind was blank with the fact that you had such an amazing boyfriend, dick was practically 10x more in love with you, no matter how much you said you loved him more. his heart hurt when you hurt and when you were happy, he was even happier.

—

you had given dick permission to post the tik tok. he felt so bad about it but you kind of found it cute how much he visibly cared in the tik tok. and you were also greatful the camera didn’t catch what you thought was an ugly crying face.

user1 STOP THIS IS SO CUTE???

user2 i wonder what bruce thought of this

therdh00d dick head you should get canceled for making her cry

imbatman tell (y/n) i said hello

imbatman you’re an imbecile for making (y/n) cry.

(later on, dick found out that it was damian using bruce’s private tik tok account to text these messages)

[potterrstar]

do you miss us? ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

sirius black x fem!reader

summary: james wants to ask lily out, but she can't because she's always with y/n, so sirius decides to help him a little, that means spending a little time with his ex girlfriend.

warnings: a lil bit of angst! and then fluff! sirius and reader used to date, and a lot of jily!

word count: 2.5 k

a/n: hi everyone, hope you are doing great, this is literally my first post ever! i'm excited but at the same time i find everything super weird, i'm trying to settle in so i'm sorry for any mistakes, i hope to improve!

───❃•❃•❃───

Sirius was a bit fed up with James if he was honest, not to be misunderstood, he adores James with all his heart but he just wouldn't shut up about Lily. The worst part was that he wouldn't ask her out, he could talk about her all day but he wouldn't make a single attempt to ask her to Hogsmeade or anything.

"I understand how much you like her, Prongs, I just don't understand why you don't ask her out, it doesn't have to be anything exotic, you know?" Sirius fiddled with his wand, sitting on the couch in the common room.

"Because she's with y/n all the time! Lily's never alone, I can never get to talk to her, you know, alone" James sighed dropping his body into the chair at the table.

Y/n. It was even a little hard for him to think about her, they hadn't ended in the worst possible way, it just didn't work out the way they would have liked it to in the first place. They had only broken up a couple of months ago, sometimes he thought he missed her, the times he didn't miss her it was because he convinced himself that he didn't, but however! They were still friends… Or something like that, at least he hoped so.

"Well, interrupt them, I don't think y/n would mind you stealing Lily away for a bit" Sirius rolled his eyes.

James plopped down at the table, giving an exaggerated sigh "This is it, we're never going to date, or get married, or have kids, or-"

Sirius interrupted him laughing "What are you talking about? Calm down mate, it's not as bad as you think" Sirius got up, sat down next to James and gave him a little pat on his shoulder "Look, at the weekend we're all going to Hogsmeade, there you can buy her a drink or go for a walk, yeah? You're not finished."

───❃•❃•❃───

It was already the weekend! You were extremely excited as you hadn't been out to Hogsmeade for weeks, there had been so much homework and exams lately that there was no time for anything. An outing like this was a huge respite.

"Look, sour popsicles! James used to give me these in first year" Lily showed you the little colourful lollipops. Just now you were in Honeydukes buying sweets out of hand. It was going to be Marlene's birthday soon and you wanted to throw her a big party.

You gave a little chuckle. "Yeah, let's take those too" You thought it was a bit funny how much Lily talked about James, she did, even if it was unconscious, James here, James there! It didn't bother you though, it was nice to see her denying it.

"What are you laughing at?" Lily asked you with a frown.

"Oh! James used to buy me these! He's so cute! I want to marry him!" You mimicked her laughing.

"What are you talking about? I never said that, I don't even talk like that! Pretty bad imitation of you, huh?" Lily was completely offended, which again made you laugh.

"Oh, hi, James!" You said looking behind Lily, as if James was there, which he wasn't. You just liked to tease Lily.

Lily turned around quickly, arranging her hair, nervously. "Where did you see him? I can't find him." Lily searched for James with her eyes.

"Come on, Lily" You said laughing as you gave her an obvious look.

Lily turned to you, noticing your stare. "Oh leave me alone." Lily's gaze dropped a little, which worried you a little.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad." You patted her shoulder a little in apology.

You played this way with Lily all the time, it never bothered her, you don't know what her sudden sadness is about.

"Don't worry, it's not that, it's just- I don't know, do you think James likes me? I mean, I know he always jokes about it, but he's never tried to go out with me, we've never even had a conversation alone."

"Lily, are you kidding me? All of Hogwarts knows that James Potter has an absolute and complete crush on Lily Evans" You laughed a little, which caused her to laugh too. "Come on, Li, don't be put off by that! He's probably even around, all of us students came, I don't think he's the exception."

Lily smiled gratefully at you "You're right. Thank you, sweetheart."

Suddenly, James appeared behind Lily, this time in earnest.

"What's up, Potter?" you greeted the brunet, not to mention that your ex-boyfriend was standing next to him.

"Listen, Y/n, I don't think it's funny a second time," Lily demanded.

"A second time of what?" James asked behind Lily, giving her the fright of her life.

"James!" Lily shrieked. "Lily!" James shouted back, imitating her.

As the two of them frolicked around as they always did, you shared a couple of glances with the black-haired boy next to James. You examined him a little better, you hadn't seen him in a couple of days, he was wearing his white shirt with the first few buttons open revealing a bit of his chest, he had half his hair up, a little longer than he had when you were done, his eyes looked greyer than they normally did. He looked good. He always did.

"Hello," you said, giving him an uncomfortable look. It was a little hard to meet those eyes that were once yours.

"Uh, hi…" He responded in kind. He was having a hard time seeing your eyes, which were once his.

You don't know at what point Lily and James ended whatever conversation they were having, but Lily turned to you. "I'm doing some shopping with Y/n, sorry" Lily apologised to James.

"But Y/n doesn't mind, do you?" James said looking at you, you looked back at him wanting to know what the hell he was supposed to be talking about. Maybe, just maybe, you missed a lot in the pale boy in front of you.

"Umm, sorry I- I wasn't listening" you stammered a little looking at them.

"James was just telling me that, if we could go to The Three Broomsticks, but you know we're buying Marlene's birthday stuff and I don't want to leave you alone" Lily said looking at the floor.

You realised that this was the opportunity Lily had been waiting for a long time. "Are you kidding? It's fine, it's perfect, don't worry about me, we don't have much shopping to do anyway." You told them with a smile.

"See? Everything is fine," James looked at Lily.

Lily analysed the situation, it was clear that she wanted to go out with James, but leaving her friend didn't sound like a viable option. "No, James, I'm sorry, I really don't want to leave her alone." Lily said somewhat sadly.

Sirius, on the other hand, also saw the situation. He knew Lily wasn't going to leave her friend shopping for things on her own, and he also knew how depressed James was going to be for the rest of the month if Lily turned him down for the one way out he had risked asking her. He thought about staying with Y/n, not that he wanted to of course, but it was for the greater good, it was definitely for that, he was only going to help his friend, it had nothing to do with him.

"Maybe-" Sirius suddenly spat and everyone looked at him "Maybe I can stay with you" He turned to look at you and you felt your heart skip a beat. Stay with you? Just today was the first time you'd been with him in the same room for more than ten seconds without running out since you broke up. "I mean, to help you finish shopping, after all Marlene our friend right?" Sirius tried not to make it sound like he needed to spend time with his ex-girlfriend, which he kinda did.

Lily and James smiled "Actually, it does sound good" Lily said with a bit of hope and James felt his soul return to his body.

You were paraplegic, saying yes meant spending, Merlin knows how much time alone with your ex-boyfriend who you're probably not over, but it also meant that Lily could finally go on a date with the guy she liked and the truth is that didn't sound bad at all, I mean, you knew how excited she was about that and there's nothing you wouldn't do for your best friend, even go shopping with your ex-boyfriend, why not?

"Sounds good" You gave a genuine smile "I hope you're good at picking out candy" You joked to Sirius.

"I think I am" Sirius gave you a wink. You felt yourself turn a little red.

"Thanks Y/n, I promise I'll make it up to you, I love you!" Lily said as James led her out of the tent. You laughed a little at this and Sirius mimicked you.

"I really hope they get married because I can't stand it anymore" Sirius rolled his eyes and that made you laugh.

"What?" You asked him as you looked at the shelves of candy.

"James!" He expelled as if he was taking a weight off his shoulders "I swear to Merlin that's all he talks about!"

"Is it that bad?" You looked at him, you watched as a couple of strands of hair fell across his forehead, you felt the urge to move them, but you couldn't, not anymore.

Sirius rolled his eyes "You doubt it? The worst thing is that I'm the only one he tells, Remus and Peter are smart enough to ignore it."

You laughed "Poor thing, Sirius. He's just very much in love."

Sirius sighed "Well, I was never like that."

You gave him a somewhat sly look, wondering if Sirius ever talked about you like that with James.

Sirius immediately caught your gaze and stumbled a bit over his words "I mean- Not that I wasn't in love like that- Just that I never bothered him that much about it- Not that it bothered me being in love with you- you know." Sirius cursed inwardly, it was kind of funny, he thought of himself as a confident person, somewhat boastful even but when it came to you, all of that just disappeared.

"Don't worry, I get it" You smiled a little "I think I used to annoy Lily a lot" Remembering when you first liked Sirius.

"Did you?" he asked curiously.

"Quite a lot. I hope she wasn't that bothered" You laughed a little.

Sirius smiled "I don't think so, how could you ever bother anyone?"

You rolled your eyes "Don't do that" You said to Sirius.

"Do what?" he laughed, feigning innocence.

"That thing you do, you're flirting with me, don't do that." You smiled.

"I'm not!" He defended himself offended "I'm just telling the truth, which is different."

"Shut up" You rolled your eyes smiling. For a moment you felt everything like it was before, and for a moment you wished everything was like it was before.

Sirius relaxed his face a little "I mean it, you genuinely are the most interesting person I know, I don't see any way for you to annoy or bore anyone."

You felt a bit of tension in the air so you made a little joke to ease it "I know I'm the best thing you ever had, you don't have to tell me."

Sirius laughed "Hey don't you think that's enough candy?" he said looking at the bag you were carrying, you didn't even realise how much you were carrying from talking to him.

"Oh Merlin, you're right, more than enough, let's go pay."

You and Sirius walked over to pay, so you took out the money you had counted with Lily yesterday, you paid and you walked out of the shop, Sirius helping you with the bags.

There had been a freak snowstorm at Hogwarts a few days ago, even though it was the middle of June. Professor McGonagall at first thought it was a prank by the Marauders, eventually she found out it wasn't them as James told her that they didn't play pranks on that silly level. Then she found out it was a prank by some Hufflepuff second graders, honestly you found it funny, they couldn't reverse the spell so we had to wait a couple of weeks for the snow to stop.

"What should we do? I honestly don't think James and Lily are done." Sirius looked at you.

"Definitely not, I think we should head back to the castle so we can take advantage of Marlene being around and I can hide this well" You smiled at him.

Sirius nodded and took off his coat and placed it on top of both of you so you could get to the castle without getting covered in snow, on the morning you went down to Hogsmeade the storm wasn't this bad.

You grabbed the edge of the coat next to you to cover yourself better and discovered the initial of your name embroidered with red thread that you had made a couple of weeks after you started dating Sirius. A small smile escaped your lips.

This little thing of embroidering your initial on his stuff came about as a silly joke that people would realise he belonged to you, obviously you didn't mean it, but he didn't have a problem with it, so he embroidered a couple himself.

"What's up?" Sirius asked when he saw your smile.

With a small smile you showed him the edge of his coat.

He rolled his eyes with a smile. "Leave it."

"Why didn't you take it off?" you asked curiously.

Sirius frowned "Why should I?"

"I don't know, because we broke up?"

"So?" He turned to look at you. "Just because it's over doesn't mean it wasn't real, you're the realest thing I've ever had."

You stopped walking and looked at him "Sirius, you don't mean that."

"Of course I do" He stopped as well, he picked up his scarf and showed you the corner, where your initial was also and his ring, which on the inside he wore it as well.

" I take you wherever I go." He said to you with a nostalgic smile.

"Do you miss us? Because I feel your absence wherever I go." You asked him directly, feeling your soul leave your body.

Sirius dipped his hand into your neck and you felt your neck crawl.

You smiled "Just to confirm? Will you tell me?"

Sirius moved to your lips and kissed them tenderly "More than you can imagine." He murmured against your lips and kissed them again.

"This is great" You smiled and moved the strands of hair that were in the way of his forehead. "I've wanted to do that since I saw you."

Sirius laughed against your lips. "I have to cut it" Referring to his hair.

You let out a gasp. "Are you mad? You cut your hair and we're done again I swear."

"We're done again?" Sirius repeats. "Does that mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend again?" Sirius asks with a grin.

"Absolutely. Any problem with that?" you smiled back.

"Never" Sirius grabbed the back of your neck and kissed even harder, careful to never let go again.

Though if he did, he'd always take you with him anyway.

[dollarbils]

ruin it | b.eilish

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. billie doesn’t want to ruin your friendship so she keeps her feelings to herself

warnings. angst, kissing, not proof read

masterlist

“I had a great time.” she concluded as she walked you up the stairs to your apartment, having driven you home due to the late hour of the night.

“me too, thanks for driving me home.” you replied when she smiled and leaned in for a hug.

“it was my pleasure.” as you waved her off you gave yourself a second to find your keys and prepare yourself from entering the apartment. you’d decided to give the girl a second chance, after the disaster that was the first date, against your roommate’s wishes. you were desperately hoping she was asleep. the keys turned in the lock and you pushed the door open quietly and headed straight for your room, having heard the tv on in the living room.

“not so fast.” her voice boomed as you heard her footsteps approach the hallway near your bedroom. you cursed yourself silently.

“i thought you’d be asleep?” she crossed her arms once she placed herself in front of you.

“why were you out so late?” her tone was somewhat angry, as if you’d done something wrong. and despite disagreeing with this statement, you grew exceedingly nervous.

“that’s none of your business billie.” your response came off harsher than intended.

“since when is anything none of my business?” she seemed annoyed by your reply.

“billie, c’mon. it’s not a big deal.” you turned away from her in attempt to escape the conversation but she piped up again.

“were you with her?” she asked and you turned to face her. it gave her the answer she needed. “seriously?” she seemed disappointed.

“was she late again? did she show up sober this time?” she referred to what a dick the girl had been last time you’d gone out with her.

“yes actually, she was perfectly nice.” billie almost laughed.

“yeah okay, does she still think your name is bella?” she scolded you. on the first date she’d gotten your name wrong consistently, and billie never missed an opportunity to bring it up.

“no..” you replied sheepishly.

“well that certainly makes up for it. why did you go out with her again? you know you deserve better.” there was hints of sadness in her words as she spoke.

“not everyone gets as many hoes as you billie. i don’t necessarily get to be picky.” she furrowed her brows as you said this.

“why not? even if it means waiting you shouldn’t lower your standards.” it was frustrating dealing with her, she never approved of your romantic choices. it didn’t matter who it was she’d always point out a flaw.

“why do you even care so much? just let me make bad decisions.” you sighed, tired of this conversation. this argument you’d have every-time you came back from a date.

“i care about you. you deserve better, so much better than that fucking loser.” she seemed disgusted by the thought of her.

“why do you always have to ruin my chance at a happy relationship?” you raised your voice, annoyed at her persistence.

“because i know you wouldn’t be happy!” she seethed, trying desperately to get her point across.

“so i can’t be happy with anyone? what am i supposed to do then?” she opened her mouth to speak but stayed silent, not wanting to say something she’d regret.

“of course, no excuse. as per fucking usual. i mean what is it? are you jealous? do you ruin my relationships because you think we won’t be as close?” she stayed silent, contemplating her words. her silence however, gave you an answer in itself.

“oh my god… you’re jealous!” you couldn’t believe it, but her eyes widened at the conclusion you’d come to and she dismissed it.

“i’m not jealous.” she said defensively.

“then what is it?” you searched her eyes for an answer but she didn’t seem to have one herself.

“they don’t deserve you, none of them. you’re too good for any of them.” she repeated herself.

“what the fuck does that even mean at this point? you keep saying it, but it seems like you think there’s nobody that deserves me. stop fucking with me billie i don’t want to hear it anymore.” her expression softened.

“that’s not what i meant.” she was having trouble expressing herself.

“i don’t understand bils, help me understand because it’s driving a wedge between us when there’s no reason for it to.” you were pleading her to explain. explain the truth, tell you what she was holding back.

“you don’t get it.” she said simply, throwing her head back in frustration.

“billie, if you’re just gonna deflect, i’m going to sleep. i can’t deal with your shit tonight.” she lowered her head, scouring her brain for what to say next. what to say to convince you.

“wait!” she grabbed your arm, holding you back.

“no, billie. if you’re gonna be all cryptic and confusing i don’t wanna hear it.” her grip was insisting, pulling you back to her.

“i just don’t want to ruin it.” her words as cryptic as ever, proving your previous point. your curiosity took control though.

“ruin what?” it was a question with a lot of weight.

“this. our friendship.” her words bled with hurt and fear, a combination that broke your heart every-time you’d hear it.

“they don’t deserve you because, i do.” it hit you in several ways, not fully understanding the extent of the meaning behind it.

“what?” you asked for clarification, hesitantly she complied.

“i’d treat you right, give you what you deserve.” she admitted finally, and your thoughts were spoken aloud.

“billie..”

“no. listen to me. you mean more to me than anyone ever has, and i can’t stand to see these idiots mistreat you. and what i really can’t stand, is the fact that you let them.” she waited silently for a response, already accepting that you might not be able to give her one.

“billie.” it was weak, no motion to it, nothing it was destined to be.

“yeah?” her hope was slowly diminishing.

“just..” she tilted her head, confused at your lip taking residence between your teeth.

“hm?” she bit her cheek, nausea forming in the pit of her stomach. the fear of having ruined years of friendship consuming her mind.

“just kiss me then.”

“what?” she was still trying to process your words and you gave her time to do so.

“kiss me how i deserve to be kissed. make me happy.”

“no, don’t do this to me. you’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” she shook her head, stepping away from you.

“billie.” she lifted her head to look at you. “i’m dead serious.” she raised an eyebrow and let you approach her.

“but won’t it ruin it? ruin us?” she was hesitant when she stepped closer to you.

“not if we don’t let it.” you countered, easing your way into her embrace. “besides, you can’t say that shit without acting on it. at that point you may as-well call me bella, it’d hurt less.” she laughed, the sound vibrating in your ears.

“okay.” she held your face tenderly as her lips reached yours. she backed you against your bedroom door as she continued to kiss you, your hands lost in her hair and her groans lost in your throat. her hips attached to yours, moving in a rhythm of passion.

“see, you didn’t ruin it.” you were breathless, smiling like an idiot. she smirked before speaking.

“not yet.” she gripped your ass, biting her lip at your little jump. you wouldn’t have expected this from her, you’d never imagined yourself in this position. but by no means was it a complaint.

“you couldn’t ruin me, not even if you tried.” she saw it as a challenge, and then her lips feathered yours as she formed her words.

“watch me.”

note: oops, i disappeared for a while 🫣 i promise it was with good reason and i’ll start getting back to my requests now. love youuuu

[cheeseceli]

When your parents don't like them

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)

Genre: reverse hurt/comfort? Angst? A little bit of fluff perhaps; reaction

Description: their reaction to not having the approval of your parents in their first meeting (established relationship)

Warnings: not proofread; a lot of overthinking and self doubt in most of the scenarios; the length of each story is not favouritsm!! It's just that some scenarios required more details than others

A/n: I should have posted this one a long time ago... Oh well. And I am literally the mix of Han and Lee Know, this would 100% happen to me if I were in their shoes

Bang Chan

‌HE'S SO SHOCKED

‌Parents always love him, so why didn't yours?

‌He believes he took it for granted

‌But he was so sure your family would love him

‌Rethinks everything he said and did

‌And thinks about what he could've done

‌He'll be up all night because of it, you better believe me

"Maybe it's the outfit I was wearing?"

"Chan, for God's sake, go to sleep."

"Seriously though, do you think my clothes weren't appropriate?"

"There was nothing wrong with how you looked baby."

"... So maybe I didn't introduce myself properly?"

"Chan."

Lee Know

‌ He knew he had to talk

‌ But it turns out he was too scared

‌And your parents just aggravated his problem

‌ He'd give only short answers and would only speak when spoken with

‌ Because of that your parents didn't see him as a really charismatic guy

‌ But I swear he was trying his best

"I swear it wasn't as bad as it seemed."

"It was horrible. I doubt any of your parents even know what my voice sounds like."

"You were nervous. I'm sure they'll understand. If you'd like I can talk to them about it."

"Please, don't. The last thing I want is for your parents to think that besides being awkward I'm a coward as well."

"They don't think either of those things. You'll see, you guys just need to know each other a little bit more. They'll love you."

Even with his worried expression, he gave you a small smile "I hope so".

Changbin

‌ You warned him he was getting too close

‌ He was holding your hand, caressing your thigh, hugging you too tight, kissing you a lot...

‌ All the time

‌ And yes, you both were dating for a while now

‌ But your parents didn't really appreciate the attitude

‌ And truly, he thought that by doing that he was showing how much he treasured and loved you

‌ Sadly your parents didn't understand his actions like he planned

"But what was I supposed to do? Stay away from you?"

"Ideally, yes"

Changbin pouted, not even realising it "but I'm your boyfriend"

"They are not used to this fact just yet. Don't worry though, they still have a lot of time to like you. Just wait and see"

Hyunjin

‌ Similar to Chan, Hyunjin didn't expect to be rejected by your parents

‌of course, he wasn't expecting to make the fall in love immediately, but he knew he had some charms

‌and he actually put a lot of effort into impressing them so when it doesn't work he's like

‌genuinely sad

‌And he's scared your relationship might change now that he doesn't have your family approval right away.

"So... About the dinner"

"They are always like this, don't worry"

"How come?"

"I knew they were gonna play hard to get. But don't you stress over it, sooner or later they will realise there is no need to act like it"

"So I can still convince them into not hating me?"

"Why would they hate you? You were really boyfriend material if you ask me"

He laughed, a little bit more relieved "They were kinda... aggressive back there, y'know?"

"Ugh, sorry about that. I swear things will get better"

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not. Why would I be?"

"I thought you'd get sad or something like that since the meeting didn't go that well"

"I'm a bit sad, yeah. But it's not your fault. You did your best. Besides, it won't last that long. It's kinda hard to hate on the Hwang Hyunjin for too long"

He laughed again, openly this time as he replied "I hope you are right"

Han

‌The problem wasn't exactly what he did

‌The problem was that he didn't do anything

‌Literally anything

‌ He'd excuse himself to go to the bathroom to avoid any questions

‌He barely moved besides that

‌After a while your dad even forgot he was there

‌And Han wished he could disappear

"I'm so, so sorry"

"Ji, it's okay"

"I was gonna answer your mother, I swear. But she was looking at me with daggers in her eyes"

"You were just fine"

"Fine? Y/n, your dad sighed in relief after I left the room. They must see me as a loser"

"I'm sure they don't. Besides, you still have a lot of time left to win them over. I know they'll love you"

Felix

‌Your parents loved him actually

‌They just don't think he is fit to be your boyfriend

‌They think that his angel face and sweet personality wouldn't give you enough security throughout your life

‌And Felix wants to prove himself to your parents so badly now

‌He will use his deep voice privilege to try to prove his point

‌He will go to the gym with Changbin until he's "intimidating" enough

‌And he won't fail on reminding them how he has over 60 medals on taekwondo

"How do I look?"

"Great, as always"

"But do I look intimidating? Scary?"

"Lix..."

"But not too scary. I need to look threatening to others but reliable to you"

"You look like someone my parents will like"

"They already like me, but not enough to like our relationship"

"They will though. Soon enough they will appreciate everything that comes along with you, trust me."

Felix smiled and nodded, feeling a certain comfort into your words as you headed to the door

"Just for the record, you do look threatening but reliable"

"Oh thank you. I was going crazy over this"

Seungmin

‌If your parents don't like Seungmin then the problem is on them

‌just kidding

‌Seriously though, I can't imagine why they wouldn't like him

‌And neither can Seungmin himself

‌So he truly thinks that everything was a misunderstanding and that it's only a matter of time until your whole family falls in love with him

‌He will face it like a challenge

"What about we invite your parents to our apartment this weekend?"

"We just saw them less than an hour ago"

"I think we should see them again"

"Did you like them that much?"

"They seem cool. But they also seem to hate me. I need to change their minds"

"What? They didn't hate you at all"

"Your father's glare would disagree. But that doesn't matter that much because by the end of this week they will love me"

"You seem certain"

"Of course I am. I can't have them hating me for the rest of our lives, can I?"

"They don't hate you. They are just... hard to please"

"I'll change this" he faced you with a confident smile "I give you my word"

I.N

‌Kinda clueless

‌Totally clueless actually

‌He can't understand what he did wrong but apparently he did something awful considering your parents disliked him that much

‌Will try to find ways to apologise

‌Will gift them and try to keep a conversation even when you're not around

"Does your mother like flowers? She does, right? Every mother does"

"What are you doing?"

"You said that she invited us to lunch this Friday. I don't want to go see her with empty hands again. Maybe that's what made her hate me so much the first time"

"She doesn't care about those things, Innie"

"No? Then why doesn't she like me?"

"She's just hard to satisfy, you know. But I bet she'll like you in no time. She just needs to get to know you better"

"You keep saying that but I don't know, I feel like that won't happen any time soon. I really want her to approve me"

He had that hopeless expression again, that one that really wanted to change the situation but didn't know how to. You really hated seeing him disappointed on himself.

"Lilies" you said

"What?"

"Those are my mother's favourites. Lilies"

"Oh my God, thank you" he got up and kissed the top of your head lightly, before going to the door of your shared apartment "I'll be right back"

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist

[star-suh]

Cream Pies

Choi Yeonjun x Male Reader

cw: top yeonjun, public sex, bareback, creampie, ass to mouth, messy rimjob, snowballing, yn was in a bad relationship, jockstrap kink, fantasizing, sex toys, angst, fluff, post-break up sex(?), cumming hands free, pet names, some praising, lame jokes.

—

“good morning, what do you want today?” the happy, always smiley yeonjun said, he was the barista at the coffee shop near the area. it was a not so small cozy place filled with the delicious aromas of differentes pastries and types of coffee.

“please can you give me an iced americano, please” yn said.

“of course, one minute please” yeonjun said with his pretty smile.

although they never spoke about it, it was obvious that there was some tension between the two boys like the continuous stares or when they touched their hands when delivering/receiving the coffee. the coffee shop was like a second home to yn, he always spends his free days there. in fact a friendship started to grow between him and yeonjun. the latter developing deeper feelings but he knew it was wrong, yn has a boyfriend.

yeonjun couldn't help thinking about yn, sometimes when he was horny he would use a pocket pussy and think it's yn the one who's riding him.

“yes yn just like that” he moans while playing with his perky nipples, cumming inside the toy and feeling embarrassed right after that “post-nut clarity sucks” he says. sometimes he felt embarrassed having to attend to yn knowing how in his mind he was fucking him in the most perverted way possible, “this sucks” he murmurs…

some days later he welcomed yn with the same bright smile as always but this time something changed, yn was sad with a gloomy aura around him. he didn't ordered something he just went to sit on the farthest table staring at the ceiling. yeonjun was worried about him but couldn't go to ask him what happened due to so many people being in the shop. the shift is over so yeonjun can finally go to see how was yn, but closing and locking the shop's door first.

“hey ynnie what's wrong?”, concerned laced in his voice.

“i don't know” the other replied “i just broke up with my boyfriend but…” he takes a deep breath “i don't feel that bad about it”.

“what do you mean?” yeonjun asked.

“jun it was kinda a bad relationship you know.. it wasn't toxic but it felt like we were together just to avoid the feeling of being alone..” a few tears threatening to roll down his eyes “we came to the conclusion that this wasn't good for us so yeah…”.

yeonjun just hummed “so what now?” he asks.

yn cleaned the few tears off of his face “now just … being happy i guess” he laughs “i want the strawberry pastry please”, “as you wish pretty boy” yeonjun puts his left hand on his forehead as if he was a soldier obeying his superior’s orders.

both ate the strawberry pastry with some cream landing on yn’s nose. “let me clean it” yeonjun went to clean it bit the sight in front of him was too much to handle, he has the pretty yn inches away from his face. he grabs a napkin and starts wiping the cream, “you're so fucking handsome” yeonout's compliment was received by a shy “thank you” from yn. they lock eyes, each one appreciating each other's features. ‘those lips look so good’ yn thought.

finally giving in, both kissed. it was desperate, they both craved for each other that long. no matter how much they tried to hide it, the feeling was there. yeonjun's tongue exploring the other's mouth while his hands sneaked down yn's pants to feel that amazing ass. yn also put his hand inside yeonjun's pants massaging the growing bulge.

“you taste so good” escaped from yeonjun's mouth who was now leaving kisses on the other’s neck, “you make me so horny junnie” yn moans. “let's go back there” yn jumped on yeonjun's arms and he carried him towards the back room (uh-oh) while still kissing…

yeonjun didn't hesitate to strip yn, discarding his pants and staring and the black jockstraps the boy was wearing, his ass in all his glory was there just for him. the thought of yn wearing that type of underwear all days made yeonjun way hornier than he was “fuck … you look so pretty with this on” he said lifting one strap and then released it causing yn to moan, “i just have to pull down your oants and you're ready to get fucked and filled by me” the top grunts.

he went directly towards yn’s hole, his tongue doing wonders inside of it, “yeon.. jun… too m-much” whimpered the bottom. “but i'm just getting started, love” he replied.

“so. fucking. good” yeonjun spoke in between pants, strings of saliva connecting his mouth to the other's wet hole “i. can't. get. enough .. of it~” his sexy deep voice sending chills down yn's spine “why are you so sexy jun” he questioned.

yeonjun applied some lube in his shaft and put it inside slowly, leaving it there so that yn gets used to his size, “fuck yeonjunn~ it’s so thickkk..”.

yn was in one of those rotating chairs, so yeonjun took advantage to use both his holes at the same time, he thrusted inside his hole then rotate the chair and put it inside yn’s mouth.

time passed by and the pair was still at it, with yn riding that dick while yeonjun praised him, telling him how good he makes him feel. the smell of sex filled the room, their wet sweaty bodies against each other, every caress leaving a burning sensation that they loved. after “unconsciously” yearning for each other all this time they're finally becoming one. “fuck yn, i love you so so so fucking much” yeonjun confessed emphasizing each word with a deep thrust. “i l-love you to-too yeonjunnie” yn confessed too with a little difficulty because of how hard yeonjun was fucking him, it was like this would be the last time they were going to be together. “i’m gonna make you mine” yeonjun hugged yn tight while giving some sloppy last thrusts “i’m gonna fucking fill you up ynnie” and that was what he did, he emptied his balls inside the other, his throbbing pulsating cock sending waves of pleasure throughout yn’s body making him came hands free on yeonjun’s torso.

“fuck i came a lot” he said surprised opening wide both cheeks and staring and the gaping hole dripping with his seed. he buried his face in between the cheeks to suck sperm “after all.. i have to taste my recipe” he said in a cocky sarcastic tone, “if that's the case.. let me taste too” yn grabbed yeonjun by his chin and kissed him, the sperm being passed around between both mouths. “if you want your buns to get filled with my special cream just tell me” yeonjun reassured the other with a passionate kiss…

despite having confessed their love for each other in the middle of sex, both boys decided to start dating to get to know each other better, their relationship progressed and seeing how they had a lot of things in common, now the couple lives happily. yeonjun continues working at the cafe while yn goes for his favorite coffee every day sitting at a table while appreciating his boyfriend's beautiful smile.

[unsolvedjarin]

I was going through a Charles video that mentioned him blacking out in the car at some point. Since I’m a sucker for angst, I was wondering what it would be like for mentor!Seb if it were the reader in that situation instead. Perhaps the season before the one he retires? And maybe we could see more of the reader’s friendship with Charles? Only if you feel inspired by it, of course.

Either way, thank you for sharing your fics with us. They are my favorites and I’m really grateful for having found your blog.

gif by luchitohamilton

EVERY UNIVERSE.

pairing: (mentor! sebastian vettel x ferrari driver! reader) (charles leclerc x teammate! reader)

summary: qatar is a difficult, hot, and taxing track. that along with you having food poisoning, well…that might not end too well for you. thankfully you can always rely on sebastian and charles to be there for you.

word count: 4k

note: can you guys tell i took inspo from mark webber throwing up in his car and the qatar race this year? it was so sad to watch everyone seem so tired especially lance and logan. anyways, the plot kinda got away from me at the end, i do apologize but the seb feels were too intense 😵‍💫

content warning: car crash, mentions of throwing up, inaccurate depictions of food poisoning

part of this series but can be read without!

“Ready?”

A familiar voice makes you turn around from your pre-race preparations. “Depends on what your definition of ready is.”

Charles smiles, “I know it’s our first race in Qatar but c’mon, it isn’t that bad.”

“Isn’t that bad? I might melt in the car! Doesn’t help that I almost missed this one because of food poisoning.”

“Ah yes, how could I forget that,” he teases. He couldn’t forget it, because you’d been complaining about it endlessly for the past three days. You had food poisoning because Mark Webber invited you to lunch on Thursday, and accidentally gave you something dodgy. You’ve yet to forgive the man. “Well at least you’re starting from P4. Lets you fight for P1, no?”

“Against Lewis and Charles? Please. In my dreams, maybe. Plus, you’re starting P3, asshole.” You retort, turning back around to put your balaclava on. The second it’s on your head, though, it gets pulled off, and you look behind you for the perpetrator. “Charles give it b– SEBASTIAN!”

The Aston Martin driver gives you a grin before hugging you tightly, lifting you off the ground a bit. You didn’t expect to see him before the race, but the surprise was definitely welcome.

“Oh but if it was me I would have gotten scolded,” Charles mutters, but his complaints were left unheard.

“Just came to wish you luck before the race starts. P4! You’re going to get a podium, I’m sure of it,” Sebastian beams, letting you go from the hug.

“That’s what Charles said too. He was more delusionally optimistic, though. Said I was gonna win.”

“Because I believe in you! Is that so bad?” Charles complains from the side, his comment ignored once again.

“Well maybe Charles is right— you could win. Meanwhile I’m starting in the midfield, again.” Sebastian complains, groaning a little bit.

“Oh cheer up Seb, you survived Ferrari for 6 years, you’ll live.”

He lights up a bit at your joke, moving to say something before an Aston Martin mechanic shows up outside the Ferrari garage. He wasn’t allowed inside, but it was obvious he was looking for Sebastian– who also wasn’t allowed inside, yet mysteriously got in. Nothing to do with him being friends with your mechanics of course, yeah, totally not.

“Ah shoot, well it looks like they’re looking for me,” Sebastian sighs. He starts to walk away before he pauses and moves back towards you, “Hey, stay safe, okay? New track, it’s dangerous. I know we’ve done practice and quali but you can never be too careful. Plus, it’s sweltering hot. Hydrate.”

You roll your eyes fondly, “Yes, dad.”

His face scrunches up a little, “Don’t ever call me that again, I’m not that old.”

“You could barely work my Instagram the other day! All I asked was for you to open Lewis’ stories!”

“Psh, whatever. I have to go, see you after the race, yeah?” He asks, giving your arm a quick squeeze. You nod, murmuring a goodbye to him. He wishes Charles good luck too, before saving his engineer from the Ferrari mechanics blocking him.

“So he can pull your balaclava off– which you hate, by the way, let me remind you– but if I even try adjusting your helmet straps so it’s safer you slap me off?” Charles speaks up, making you break eye contact from the Ferrari garage doors.

You roll your eyes at him with a smile, “You have got to forget that. It was one time. And it was a soft slap to the shoulder!”

“The point still stands,” he retorts, making you give up on the conversation.

“Whatever, Charlie. Just get ready for the race. Stay safe, okay?” you say, putting your balaclava on again. He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving, a sign of good luck between the two of you. It makes you smile a little before you hop into your car.

Okay. Qatar. New track, new conditions, but still the same old you. You could do this.

The lights go off one by one, and you grip the steering wheel with anticipation like you always did. Race starts still made you nervous no matter how long you’d been racing. One light goes off…then the next…then the third…the fourth one follows…and then…

“AND IT’S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO!”

The first few laps were a breeze, maintaining your position in fourth despite Fernando being on your tail the whole time. You noticed the car was slightly hotter than usual, but decided to ignore it and chalk it up to new changes in the engine.

Around lap 25 you started to feel a bit dizzy and sick during the sharp corners, cursing yourself internally for having such bad timing with the food poisoning. “Charles is 0.200 seconds ahead, feel free to overtake,” your engineer buzzes through the radio.

“Copy,” you reply, not really paying attention, still feeling sick. You overtake Charles with ease around the outside, him not putting up much of a fight because it would have taken both of you out. Now you just had to maintain this position for…dear god, 32 laps.

“Lewis 5 seconds ahead, focus on tire degradation instead.” Your engineer’s warning goes unheard, though, as you noticed the cockpit was getting way too fucking hot.

“The car’s burning up,” you say into your radio, getting only a simple “Copy, we are checking,” back.

“Okay, Y/N there are no problems with your engines, I repeat; no problem.”

What? That’s impossible. You felt like you were melting in there. “Are you sure? Can you ask Charles if his car feels like the sun too?”

“Negative, focus on the race.”

Oh you were going to kill them one day– if they don’t kill you first. A few more laps passed in those horrible conditions before turn 5 rolled around and as you swerved your car, you started to see black spots around your vision.

That can’t be good, you think, having to close your eyes for a second before shaking your head and snapping yourself back into the race. Thankfully Charles had pitted earlier and had a 3 second gap to you. “I don’t feel too well.”

“Copy. Is it the car?”

“Well it’s definitely part of the problem.”

The next few turns were torture, your head bobbing around as you faded in and out of consciousness through the fast corners. Charles was catching up now, and you knew if you didn’t do something soon, he would pass you.

You wanted this podium. You needed it. If you got P3 you would grab P4 on driver standings.

There was a slow corner coming up that was a good overtaking spot, and so you had to defend.

As the turn came around– faster than you expected– the extreme heat of the car, your headache, sweat, food poisoning, and dizziness came together and you suddenly felt light, as if you were flying, before a jolt knocked you out of your consciousness completely.

You were out for less than a minute, but that minute counted for everything. You completely turned into Charles, him having to swerve onto the gravel just so you wouldn’t crash into each other. Your car, however, still had more speed in it, and you were headed towards the wall on the very far side of the gravel.

Thankfully, the rough rocks had shook you awake enough that you were able to swerve away from the wall extremely last minute and only take the tail and back wheel of your car out.

The next few seconds were a blur.

You still felt faint, but could hear a muffled voice headed towards you. You knew the back of your car was completely ruined and you were out of the race, and you put your helmet in your hands in disappointment. You were having such a good run before this happened. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The muffled voice running towards you was closer now, and you registered it to be Charles. He was saying something but you could barely hear him with how your ears were ringing and how the seat of the car was still hot.

The man quickly realized you weren’t hearing him, and opted to come closer and lift your visor up. “Smoke. Car. Get out!”

He didn’t need to tell you twice. You pushed yourself up but barely, Charles having to lift you up by your shoulders. Once out of the car you completely collapsed on the floor, only having your teammate catch you.

“I think I’m gonna throw up,” you say drowsily, still fighting the urge to pass out.

“Safety car is coming, stay with me now,” he replies, tapping your helmet so you stay awake. You were grateful your friend was there with you.

On track, however, Sebastian had just been informed of what went down. “What the fuck? What happened?”

“L/N completely turned into Leclerc. Driver error, push on for P9.”

Sebastian hated how his engineer sounded like a robot reporting a technical statistic. He saw the aftermath of the accident for a split second, and it didn’t look like your car was in good shape. He worries about what shape you were in. “Are they okay?”

“Safety car is coming out for L/N and to crane the car, but other than that they seem fine.”

“Injuries?”

“Please focus on the race, Sebastian.”

“INJURIES!” he shouts into his radio, annoyed. He wouldn’t be able to focus on the race until he knew you were alright.

“Uh…L/N seems to be out of it and on the floor, but they’re okay. They’ll be fine, Seb.” His engineer adds the last statement to reassure the man. He knew you meant a lot to him. Seb nods to himself in the car, carrying on with the race. The faster this finished the faster he could get to you.

The safety car came out and they all slowed down, Sebastian finally being able to take a second long look at the accident. Your car was still there, the smoke coming out of it being extinguished by a personnel. Sebastian thinks he ought to have a word with the Ferrari mechanics after the race. He then notices you, on your knees in the gravel, only being kept up by a driver he can only assume to be Charles. Sebastian thinks that should be him there supporting you, but at the same time he’s glad he wasn’t the one who you nearly crashed into. He couldn’t have it on his consciousness that he could have hit you.

“‘m sorry for ruining your race,” you mumble, still being held up by Charles. The man shakes his head, “It was ruined before that, don’t worry. My engine was acting up.”

You knew he was lying to make you feel better, his engine was completely fine. He was headed for the podium earlier, his first in a while. And you completely botched his chance to get it. The thought makes you sob a little, along with the fact that you ruined your own race.

Crying wasn’t the greatest thing to do, though, as it only made you more lightheaded. Charles notices this and takes your helmet off for you, despite your protests pre-race. You were grateful that he did, though, as the second he took your helmet and balaclava off you felt like you had a breath of fresh air for the first time.

“Better?”

You nod, unable to speak. You still felt dizzy and sick. Charles felt annoyed that the safety personnel were taking so long to get to you, waving them over to walk quicker. Squinting your eyes a little, you find them with some health personnels, and you sink a little lower into the gravel.

“God not again,” you groan, remembering the events that unfolded back in Spa. You did not need to go to the medical tent. As you attempt to get up, however, you fall back down as your vision blurred. Looks like medical tent it is again.

The rest of the race went particularly well. Lewis won the race and Fernando got his first podium since 2014– which you reminded yourself to congratulate him for once you were out of the medical tent– and Seb ended up P9, a position higher than where he started. That would usually be a mediocre result but with his shitty car, you were pretty impressed.

“Water?” A familiar voice makes you look away from the TV screen in the room. Charles sat beside your bed, holding a plastic bottle of water. You nod and take it from him, chugging the cool liquid down.

“Sorry again for ruining your race,” you say as you finish drinking. Charles shakes his head, “Stop apologizing. You passed out, that was no fault of yours.”

“You passed out!?” A loud concerned voice makes both of you snap your head towards the door of the room. Sebastian stood there, still in his race suit like the both of you, a shocked look on his face.

“Is that what happened? You passed out mid race?” He asks again, but this time softer. He walks towards your medical bed– which you insisted you didn’t need– before putting his hand on your forehead to check if you had a fever. The action makes you giggle, but Sebastian had a serious look that shut you up quickly.

He shakes his head with a sigh, “You have a bit of a fever.”

“Any other fun observations?”

Sebastian didn’t seem to be in the mood for your wit, though. “You could have been injured. Just a few meters and you could have fully hit the wall. If you were just a few seconds late waking up you would have–”

He shuts his eyes and stops himself. He didn’t want to think about what could have happened anymore. His voice got wobbly during the end of his statement, making you realize that he was stopping himself from crying. You absentmindedly sit up and reach for his hand, squeezing it gently.

“I’m here, Seb. And I’m fine. Look at me.”

The older driver does, slowly opening his eyes. You squeeze his hand a second time, a soft smile on your lips. “I’m here. And look, I’m completely fine. You’re not getting rid of me that quickly old man.”

Seb lets out a chuckle at that, moving to hug you tightly.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” he mumbles into your hair. “Why did you even pass out?”

“I was already a little dizzy before getting in the car because of the heat but I tried ignoring it. The car was overheating too and it made me dehydrated, I think. My drink pouch wasn’t a lot of help either when the water was steaming hot. Plus…” you trail off, not really wanting to talk ill of Webber.

“Mark gave her food poisoning when he took her to lunch,” Charles butted in, making you give him a look. You forgot he was in the room.

“Mark? As in Webber?” Sebastian asks, Charles nodding in response. “The bastard.”

“Oh c’mon Seb, he just wanted to treat me to lunch. It’s not like he poisoned my food on purpose.”

Seb sighs deeply before agreeing, “You’re right. Sorry. I’m just– I don’t know.”

“I get it. I mean, this is my second time at the medical tent in three months. Makes you think how accident prone I am,” you joke. Sebastian laughs, and you’re glad you got the worried look in his face away.

“The one in Spa was completely your fault, but we may have to pin this one on Mark,” Seb teases. You shoot him a grin, “Yeah, we can say that.”

Before you could talk more, though, a PR person from both Ferrari and Aston Martin came in to fetch Charles and Sebastian.

“What about me?” you ask, getting up from your bed. It wasn’t like you were injured or anything, you were just a little sick and had a bit of a stomach ache. You’d already thrown up earlier, so you felt pretty normal now.

“Sorry, we have orders to keep you here.”

You scoff, “Please. What can they do if I walk out?”

Before the Ferrari PR agent could reply, though, you were already out the room. She stands there helpless, making Sebastian and Charles chuckle to each other before following you. You were always stubborn when you wanted to be.

The second you’re out of the medical tent, camera flashes overwhelm your eyes. You walk past them as you always do, but the contrast of the light to the night sky makes you a bit lightheaded again, having to hold Sebastian’s arm for support. He moves your hand from his arm to his own hand, interlocking it with yours and pull you through the crowd. There were no words needed to be said, he always knew what you needed. You’re starting to think he can read minds.

Once past the annoying lot of cameras, you make it to the media pen where at least they pestered you in a more civil way. The interviewers were all over you and Charles, looking for some inside scoop on ‘Ferrari drama.’ Turns out, the media thought you tried to purposely take Charles out a la brocedes style. Because of this you had to clarify to every person you talked to that, “No, I did not try to take Charles out on purpose. I passed out. We’re good. Yes, we’re still friends.”

Once that was all over, you headed over to the Channel 4 area to give a certain someone a piece of your mind. “Mark Webber.”

The man turns around to the mention of his full name, smiling when he notices who it is. “Y/N! Glad you’ve come and joined us! We’re on in about five minutes, we can do a segment about the crash but if you wanna talk about something else on screen that’s fine too, we can–”

“You gave me food poisoning!” you butt in. “I cannot believe you.” His coworkers give him a look, as if they were holding in a laugh at him being scolded.

Mark stands there with his mouth agape, unsure what to say. “Wasn’t that three days ago? Are you sure it’s me?”

Rolling your eyes, you reply, “Yes, I’m sure it’s you. It started three days ago, and guess who I was with when I ate something unusual three days ago? Oh right, it’s you!”

He pauses for a moment before bursting into laughter, trying to cover his mouth to no avail. “Sorry, it’s not funny that you almost crashed, I’m glad you’re safe, but– ha!– I cannot believe it was because of the dodgy Indian food!”

You gave him a shove, trying to act mad, but the smile on your face betrayed you. His laughter was contagious. “You are such an asshole.”

“Awh cheer up,” he gives you a side hug, ruffling your hair a little. “Sorry for giving you food poisoning, mate. I’ll make it up to you, whaddya think about lunch on me tomorrow?”

You escape his side hug when you hear him say that, “Absolutely not! I’m never trusting you again with food recommendations.”

The statement makes him laugh again, and you chuckle along with him. Hard to be mad at someone who didn’t do it on purpose. Sebastian walked over to the two of you, having watched the interaction from afar.

“Look who’s coming over,” Mark mumbled, making you notice Seb trying to pretend to just ‘bump’ into the two of you. “Still competitive ‘till now, eh? Don’t worry, I’m not trying to out-mentor you,” Mark says out loud, grabbing the attention of the German.

Seb tilts his head with a faux oblivious look, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He grabs you by the arm and ‘discreetly’ pulls you over to his side. ‘No idea’ my ass.

The Australian scoffs with a grin, “Whatever you say mate. Listen, I gotta get back because our feed is going live in a few minutes, but you two take care, alright? Nice to see you again Seb.”

“You too, Mark.” Sebastian replies, this time genuinely. While the media knew the two drivers were now on good terms, they didn’t know just how close they had gotten. The two went bowling at least once every two months just to catch up with each other, you being there for half their competitions– yes, they still competed. Apparently that sense of wanting to beat your former teammate does not go away. So far this year, Mark’s been winning.

Before Mark completely walked away, he looked back at you for a second, “Oh, and, I am happy you got out injury free from that nasty crash. Genuinely glad you’re okay. Sorry that my dodgy food contributed to your sickness.”

You wave him off, “It’s fine, Mark. It’s not like you could’ve known I would get food poisoning. Although, next time maybe check online reviews.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiled, waving you a goodbye as he ran to his coworkers who were already getting impatient.

You shake your head with a grin, “Well at least that’s over with.”

Sebastian slings his arm around your shoulder, “True. So want to get dinner?”

“Absolutely not. I think I’m done with food for a good while.”

“Well you have to eat something,” he insists, as you both walk through the paddock. “How about we get room service?”

“Eh, it’s late, I don’t really want a repeat of Monaco 2019.”

Monaco 2019 was when you and Seb got room service at 10pm because you didn’t check the time. Safe to say the staff weren’t very happy with that. You both felt so bad while eating that food.

“We can just get McDonalds then,” you suggest.

“McDonalds?” Charles asks, popping out from god knows where.

“Jesus, where the hell were you hiding? The atoms?” You ask.

“I was here the whole time.”

“You were not,” Sebastian comments. Charles simply shrugs, tagging along with the two of you, not caring that he was obviously third wheeling a moment. “So McDonalds?”

You roll your eyes, “Yes, McDonalds. But you’re paying because you’re tagging along.”

“No fair! Sebastian is richer than me!”

You both give Charles a look at the same time. Charles thinks it’s eerie how alike the two of you were.

“Charles,” Sebastian starts, patting the Monegasque’s back with one arm with his other still slung around your shoulders. Your accident made him very clingy, but you weren’t about to tell him that. “Let me phrase this as nicely as I can; you are from Monaco. You are rich.”

Charles lets out a sigh, “Fine. I’ll buy the food.”

You clap, “Fuck yeah! Food on the rich man!”

“We have the same salary in our contracts?”

“Shh, that’s not important,” you say, shushing Charles. “Food on the rich man! Although, we may have to go to the hotel right after and just get take out. I can feel Mark’s Indian food from three days ago still fighting with me.”

Charles is the one to roll his eyes this time, “I’ll get the car so we can get there faster, your highness.”

“Thank you, Lord Perceval.”

“Don’t call me that!” he shouts, already walking away to the parking lot.

That left you and Sebastian alone again, just enjoying the company of one another, walking slowly down the paddocks. There were few people now, most having gone back to their hotels to call it a night.

“You know, I’m glad I found you.”

The words make you look up at the older driver, who you find smiling at you. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean obviously we would find each other, there’s only so many drivers in Formula One. But I mean I’m glad I found you in this life.”

“Do you think we don’t find each other in other lives?”

Sebastian pauses and thinks for a second. He’s thought about the other career paths he could have taken throughout his life– other lives he could have lived. He knows there’s no logical way, but he thinks he still would have found you in those lives. The thought makes him smile to himself.

“No, I think we do.”

“Well then good. Because me too,” you reply, giving him a smile of your own. “Why did you suddenly think about it though?”

Sebastian shrugs, “I don’t know. I just felt suddenly sentimental. Feels like a chapter of my life closed but I’m not sure what or why.”

Little did he know that he would start contemplating retirement a few weeks after that.

“Oh well, it doesn’t matter. Whether we find each other in other lifetimes, I mean.”

Seb raises his eyebrow, him now being the one confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean we’re both here now. Enjoying each other’s company. Why bother thinking about versions of ourselves in other universes when we’ve got each other in this one?”

Sebastian gives you the most genuine, softest smile at that. “I love you, I don’t tell you that enough.”

You scrunch your face, “Ew. Sounds like a love confession. Sorry but you’re too old for me.”

“You know what I mean. I love you but not in that way. That’s just gross,” Sebastian says, hitting your shoulder.

“Relax old man, I’m just teasing,” you giggle, trying to avoid his hit. “Love you too. Ew. Sorry, not great with verbal affection. Pretty sure that just made me throw up a bit, and that’s not even with the help of the food poisoning.”

Sebastian just shakes his head, “Okay c’mon now, Charles will be annoyed with how slow we’re walking.”

Later that night, the three of you watched a cheesy romcom while sharing a shit load of fries and chicken nuggets. As you carried on through the night you thought to yourself that despite the hardships of F1, the crashing, the disappointments, the injuries– it brought you a second family you never thought you’d have. And you wouldn’t trade it for any other universe.

Although, maybe a universe where you didn’t get food poisoning.

[redstarwriting]

his girl | ii. envy me

earth 42!miles morales x fem!reader | miles morales x fem!reader

word count: 2.1k

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: language, insults, spoilers, probably bad spanish, 42 Miles and reader get into a little spat, stubborn 42 Miles, violent 42 Miles, Miles and Miles almost fight twice

a/n: teehee and so it begins 🤭 didn’t expect this to turn into a whole series but i’m not mad. i hope y’all enjoy the storyline i thought up and please, by all means, give me your input! thank you all for the support 🖤 enjoy :)

previous chapter: i. his girl

now reading: ii. envy me

next chapter: iii. all the riches

───────────────────────────────

Miles, in fact, did not run. He was too taken aback to do anything, even though his body was screaming at him too. And he was too focused on your confused face. You looked exactly like his (Y/n), and it made his heart ache. And that is how other Miles was able to knock him out so fast. And why he just woke up in his Uncle Aaron’s apartment, chained to the punching bag, just like he did to Peter after first meeting him. He hears his uncle's music blaring from his record player. He looks in the direction it’s coming from. His eyes widen as he sees his Uncle Aaron. He’s alive. “Uncle Aaron?”

“Not your tío,” 42 Miles says, and Miles glares at him. “I’m just tryna go home, bro. Why are you doing this? What are you getting from this?”

“You said you’re from a different dimension?”

“Yeah. And?” Miles asks, narrowing his eyes at him. “Why are you here?”

“I told you I was sent here by mistake! I just wanna get back to my world, man. Dad’ll die,” he says, exasperated, and Miles stares at him with a blank expression. “Your dad alive?”

“Yeah, of course, he is,” Miles says, and 42 Miles frowns slightly. “Oh.”

Miles normally would be able to piece together what the disappointment in his voice would mean. But he's a little preoccupied with multiple other thoughts currently to necessarily care to psychoanalyze his own behaviors. He also doesn’t have the chance to see Aaron’s face drop and see the sadness in his eyes. Or the way you immediately look at your Miles to make sure the news didn’t break him. “But he’s gonna die if you keep me here,” Miles explains, and 42 Miles nods. “Yeah. Well, you ain’t leaving.”

“…Please. You have to let me go,” Miles pleads. But 42 Miles just stares at him, unmoved. “Why would I do that?” he asks, placing his gauntlet next to Miles’ head. Miles frowns, placing his finger on the piece of metal linking the chains together, ready to electrocute it and make his escape. The other him stares at him with an unreadable expression, seemingly no emotion behind his eyes, and just as it feels like shit is about to go down, he hears your voice ring out. “Miles. Just let him go.” Both your Miles and 1610 Miles turn their heads to you. It’s the first time 1610 Miles noticed you were in here. “(Y/n)? Bro, why are you letting her around your business?” Miles asks, and 42 Miles shoots a venomous look at him. “She insisted on coming. This is her first time around this shit,” Miles hisses at him. 1610 Miles can’t help but feel a tightening in his chest. He wants nothing more than for you from his world to be here with him. Not even in a romantic way, at least that’s what he’s trying to convince himself. He just misses you. He chased you away, and now he doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to fix it. His thoughts are interrupted when you clear your throat. Both of the boys look back in your direction. You’re on Aaron’s couch, staring at your Miles with such intensity it makes even 1610 Miles lock up. He can only imagine what it’s like being the one on the receiving end of that look. He sees other Miles’ eyes soften in his peripheral vision as he removes his fist from beside Miles’ head. “Mi amor…”

“No. Let him go, there’s no point in keeping him here,” you say, and 42 Miles frowns. “Not one to let people go, (Y/n). You know that.”

“I don’t give a fuck, Morales.”

“Damn, ma! Not even callin’ me Miles now?” Miles asks, an edge to his voice. You frown. “No. Not right now. Let him go, and we’ll see.”

“Why you want me to let him go? Got a crush on him or something?” Miles asks, and you raise your eyebrow. You glance at Miles, then back to your Miles. “Technically, yeah. I do. Unless you’d prefer I break up with both of you right now,” you say back, your voice just as cold as your boyfriend’s. “You tellin’ me you’d rather have this guy? Sayin’ this guy is like me? Estás de broma…” he mutters, and Miles looks between the two of you. “Not to piss you off more, but this guy is still technically you,” Miles says, and 42 Miles glares at him. “Cállate. No one was talking to you.”

“Man, why do you hate me so much?! I’m you!” Miles says, exasperated. He just doesn’t understand why this version of him is so hostile to him. They’re basically the same! Except Miles is a superhero and other Miles is a supervillain, but they still both have super in the title so how different can they really be? “Is this a call for help or–”

Miles gets cut off but 42 Miles punching the punching bag, right by Miles’ head. Enough force is exuded that the sand from the bag flies out, starting to pour down the side of it. His eyes widen, and you gasp. Even Aaron reacts a bit to it. But maybe it’s just because someone who looks exactly like his nephew is on the receiving end of it this time. This time. “Miles!” you yell, standing up. “What?!”

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

“What I gotta do! You don’t get it, (Y/n)! This is the job!” Miles yells, and you roll your eyes. “Oh, please, Miles. This is the job? He’s you! Wouldn’t you be trying to get home if you knew you could save your dad?!” you yell, and he glares at you. “(Y/n). Don’t.”

“You know you would be,” you walk over to him, placing your hands on his cheeks. He subconsciously relaxes, but only slightly. You sigh. “You don’t have to be such a hardass all the time, amor,” you mumble, and he shakes his head. “No comprendes, amor… I have to be this way. Or else— “

“Miles, he’s not a part of the cartel. He’s not gonna tell anyone here that you let him go… he’s not even from here. It’s okay for you to think with your heart instead of your head just this once,” you say, and he huffs. “Nah. I stopped thinkin’ with my heart a long time ago,” he says, and a hurt expression crosses your face. “Then what am I? A calculated move for you to use as an adavantage when you need it?” you ask, venom in your words. “No, (Y/n), don’t be estúpida. You’re mi vida, but him? How I know he ain’t just some experiment they made? To get to me?” Miles asks, looking at you with a skeptical look. You sigh. “Dude! I don’t even know what you’re talking about! I have spider powers, is that a thing anyone else here has?!”

“No.”

“Exactly! Why would whoever you’re talking about make a carbon copy of you with enhanced biology just to use me for this?!” Miles asks, and you shrug. “He’s got a point, Miles,” you say, and 42 Miles looks at you again. “Thank you, (Y/n),” 1610 Miles says, and 42 Miles rolls his eyes. “(Y/n) you have to understand that I can’t take no chances. You know that the cartel will go after—”

“I know. I know, Miles, but I really don’t think that—”

“You don’t know that (Y/n). You don’t know them like I do,” Miles says, and you sigh. “Miles. Mi amor. Mi vida. Mi sol, listen to me. If he wanted you dead, he would have done it by now,” you try to get through to him. He glances back at Miles, and Miles can literally see the distrust and paranoia in his expression.

He must have been through so much shit. This is a world with no Spider-Man after all. And all this mention of a cartel? No wonder Miles turned to the Prowler. It’s similar to Aaron in his world, he thinks. He thought that he had nowhere else to turn, so he turned to crime. But deep down, he can’t be that bad. Right…?

“Amor, I need to be cautious. I just have to ask him some questions before… letting him go,” he mumbles, glancing at Aaron. Aaron nods. 1610 Miles gets the feeling they’re not planning on letting him go. You must get that feeling too, because you shake your head, pulling your hands away from Miles’ face. “I can’t believe you right now,” you say, and he frowns. “(Y/n), please just try to understand—”

“No, Miles! I’m done trying to understand you when you never try to understand me!” you yell, and he clenches his jaw. “What do you mean by that, huh?” he asks, and you scoff. “I just. I need to leave. Before I do something I regret.”

“Like what, huh? Break up with me? Fight with me? Actually understand where I’m coming from for once?” Aaron cringes at that. You’re probably the most understanding person in his life other than him. That wasn’t the right choice of words. And you let him know it. “FOR ONCE?! Miles! Oh my god! Are you serious right now?! How many times have you tried to understand me?! I lost people too, you know! And I’m not out here—”

“Do you think I want to do this, (Y/n)?! Be fuckin’ for rea! I do this for you!” he yells back, and you shake your head, frustrated to the point of tears. “I never asked you to do this!”

“You didn’t need to because I love you enough to want to without you asking me to! You need it, Mamá needs it, everyone needs it, and I can provide it for all of you!” You angrily wipe a tear away, trying desperately to keep the rest of them contained. Miles softens. “Amor, no necesitas llorar—”

“Stop, Miles. Just… just stop. I need some air, don’t follow me,” you turn, hurrying to Aaron’s door. Miles steps forward to go after you, but Aaron puts a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. “Nah, man. Give her some space. She’ll come around,” Aaron says, and Miles clenches his fists. As soon as he sees you slip out of the door, closing it behind you, he turns to Miles. “This is your fault,” he says, pointing at him. “Miles,” Aaron says, crossing his arms. While he is also weary of this new Miles, his Miles isn’t thinking rationally right now. Then again, he is only 15. That’s why Aaron is here, sometimes he needs some assistance. “Why you lookin’ at me like that?” Aaron asks the other Miles. Miles hadn’t even realized he’d been staring. He shakes his head. “Nothing… nothing. Just… good to see you. Haven’t in a while,” he mumbles, and Aaron raises his eyebrow. That could mean a few things. Best not to dwell on it, though. 

“Who are you, really?” 42 Miles asks, and 1610 Miles groans. “I’m you, dude! Why is that so hard to understand?! I’m not a part of a cartel or anything I just want to get home!” Miles is frustrated. Seeing the world they live in from Aaron’s window, he gets why Miles is so… paranoid. But honestly, how long can he keep this uncertainty up? “Explain how you got here. And don’t just say ‘by mistake,’ alright?” Miles says, showing the claws on his gauntlets. Miles rolls his eyes. “I’m Spider-Man, right? And there’s tons of different Spider-Mans… men? Not important, there’s other me’s! And Spider-Women, Spider-People in a bunch of different dimensions, one of them, Miguel, figured out how to travel dimensions and we all met each other… except I wasn’t supposed to meet them because the spider that made me Spider-Man actually came from this world so someone here was supposed to get bit and I wasn't supposed to exist like this, but—”

“Wait… you sayin’ my world ain’t supposed to be like this…?” Miles asks, and Miles nods. “Yes. The people at Alchemax on my world built a collider and had the spider come to my world and it got out and—”

“You’re the reason for this?” Miles looks at himself, who is not even angrier. “I… n-no, but yes, I—” Miles gets cut off by a gauntlet getting placed way too close to his head again. What he doesn’t know is 42 Miles just put together everything in his head. This Miles was Spider-Man. And his dad was still alive because of it. If that were the case for him, maybe his dad wouldn’t have died. Maybe he wouldn’t have been like this. 

He could have had everything that was taken from him. 

“That’s enough talking, cabrón,” he growls, ready to escalate things yet again. Miles gets ready to break out of his restraints again, and Aaron gets ready to help Miles out. Then, over the music, they hear a scream.

A scream that undoubtedly belongs to you.

───────────────────────────────

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|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, smut, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mentions of violence, mention of putting down / death, etc. words -> 4.2K

abstract -> “I hope we can get along” 

y/n’s perspective

“I’ve missed this place,” Wooyoung said as he got out of the elevator first. 

“You know, Taeyong is angry with you” I heard as I saw Yuta and I smiled. “He should’ve expected this,” I said and he chuckled. “Yes… but he needs to bring some sense to Kun” he said and I nodded.

“I can at least text him you're okay and you've made it back safely. Johnny also told me you needed a lot of rest, and to change the bandages once a day at least and clean them. He said that if you feel weak or tired, slow down and let your body rest you just got out of a coma” he scolded and I chuckled. 

“I can clean your wounds, '' Seonghwa asked and I smiled. “Thank you,” I said and I chose to ignore Yeosang’s glare at him. “Please take care of her… and y/n this place is clean but Johnny said avoid your room in case it triggers a bad memory,” he said and I nodded sadly. 

“Sleep early tonight, by the morning everyone's gonna know you're awake,” he said and I nodded as he left. “Come on, let's get ready for bed first,” Yeosang said and I nodded. Preening… or grooming a dog's version of taking care of their mate. I smiled softly at the thought. 

“I’ll make you some tea!” Wooyoung said as he went to the kitchen looking through the cupboard. “I’ll get the first aid kit ready,” Seonghwa said and I was happy to feel relieved around them again. 

I woke up to Seonghwa’s voice saying breakfast was made. Yeosang and Wooyoung tightened their grip on me. “A few more minutes,” Yeosnag said, still sleepy… “yeah a few more– WHY ARE YOU MAKING BREAKFAST THAT'S MY JOB!” Wooyoung yelled and I laughed. 

“It's already noon, and you were in a deep sleep. It's technically lunchtime already” Seonghwa said and I chuckled. “Thank you, Seonghwa,” I said and he smiled. 

“I did what I could with what was in the fridge. There was a lot of old food so I cleaned it out” he said and I nodded. “Oh. Seonghwa, that's your job now” Wooyoung said and I laughed. Wooyoung did hate to clean the fridge and after he cooked. 

We ate our food while I looked at my messages… Everyone was texting me to feel better and that they were glad I was okay. Kun still hasn’t texted me…

“Are we going back?” Wooyoung asks and I smile softly. “I can go alone, if you’d like?” I asked and he looked sad about that. “I’ll go with you” Yeosang and Seonghwa said at the same time. 

“I think it's best if I go alone… I need to talk to San and maybe see how bad it is” I said and they nodded. At the end of the day… San was my first hybrid I promised to him. I wasn’t gonna let him down now. 

“Are you gonna see Hongjoong?” Seonghwa asks and I sigh. “I… should’ve been more professional about handling Hongjoong. I got too into my head and I forgot the tell signs of a hybrid. I’m licensed in handling red code hybrids… so I feel like I owe him a try” I explained and they looked nervous for me. 

“I’ll have to talk to Kun first, however”

“You’re… okay,” he said speechless. He came up and hugged me tight… There was a time when my parents didn’t care what I did, they just made sure I had enough money to take care of myself. 

Kun was one of my friends who became like an older brother to me… he was protective and overall cared a lot about my well-being even after my breakup with Hendery. Even when my parents found out I studied writing and not business or a respectable white-collar degree. 

“I saw… your heart stops, I thought you weren’t gonna make it” he cried out and I sighed. “Well, here I am,” I said and he only tightened his grip. 

“When Doyoung said you were here yesterday I didn't believe him… and then Johnny and Taeyong confirmed and– I’m just happy you’re okay” he said and I smiled as he let me go. 

“Wooyoung was really bad. He’s never experienced a depressive episode that bad, he’d at least eat and go outside but not once did he move. He’d stare at the door constantly to see if you’d appear” he said and it broke my heart. “Yeosang’s owner was trying to bribe our shareholders to be given Yeosang but my family wouldn’t give in” he explained. 

“Thank you for trying your best even when you assumed I was dying” I said and he sighed. “Why did you take that tiger with you?” he asked and I sighed. 

“I… I didn’t tell you but Hongjoong got to me when I interviewed him. He mentioned a hybrid would do anything to survive and compared it to them” I said and he looked at me disappointed. 

“You should’ve known better. Those hybrids… has anyone told you about San?” he trailed off and I shook my head. “They said he was a code purple and his mind is scattered, can't tell time, aggressive?” I said and he nodded. 

“San… we originally had them all together when they were first here but he turned violent wanting to hurt Hongjoong. When we isolated him the next day he kept muttering to himself ‘any second now’ as if you’d pick him up. Hours after he attacked you… you came for him only hours after and he thinks that’ll happen again. No matter if we remind him three times a day he'll forget… I'm worried about how he’ll behave when he’s with you again” he said and I sighed. 

“I need to see him. '' I said and he sighed “Let us… make sure he’s okay first” he said and I nodded. “In the meantime then… what happened to Hongjoong?” I asked and he shook his head. 

“He's not going with you–” “He’s already my hybrid… I didn’t give him a chance or anything to prove him wrong. I let him get to me and in return only proved him right” I said and he scoffed. 

“Those bandages on your neck are because of him. Your hybrids suffered because of him and I still want to help him?” he asked me angrily. 

“Kun… when we were kids, you saved a hybrid and he’s still with you today but remember Sicheng with Yuta and how he was just as aggressive. Abused and neglected, his parents wanted Sicheng dead but you made a promise to Yuta and now he’s in a sanctuary in China at your family’s estate. You told me you’d help any hybrid you could and that's why you have this job… please do me this favor” I begged and he sighed. 

“You owe me” 

It was like it was almost a month ago. 

Preparing to interview him… the difference is I'm not here for business nor do I have Seonghwa’s protection. I took a deep breath and entered the red code area. It had hybrids locked behind impenetrable glass and a metal covering in front of it instead of the curtains the other hybrids had. 

I made it to his kennel when I saw his report… it had a determined sign. He was gonna be sent to a different center… in China?

I noticed the metal covering was now being lifted. They must've noticed on the cameras I was there already. He was in a corner… his tail twitching and his constraints were clearly uncomfortable. 

“Hello,” I said and his ears lifted up… he looked over his shoulder to see me. He shook his head… “You're not real” he muttered as his head faced the corner again 

“Maybe I’m not. Maybe I'm here to haunt you” I joked and his ears twitched… “Why did you do that?” I asked curious if he’d answer. “I didn’t… want to kill you. I-I want… just want to be free” he said his voice only getting more vulnerable. 

“Seonghwa hates me now… I have no one, I'm alone and I'm going somewhere I don’t even recognize. I have your blood on my hands… it won’t go away” he muttered.

“I… never killed anyone. I didn’t… I wanted… I don’t know anymore. I’m sorry” he said and I could see how his back shook. Was he crying?

“Did you know… I went to your show when I was a kid” I confessed and he froze. “My parents were busy… they couldn't take care of me. So they had a hybrid take care of me. She was a bear hybrid, and they made her take me to the Circus… I had a front-row seat, I remember seeing you” I said and he now turned to look at me. His eyes are glassy and red.

“You looked like you liked to perform. I may have been naive to what they did to hybrids… but you were a part of the main show with Seonghwa” I confessed and he shook his head. “You’re not real” he kept muttering to assure himself. 

“I remember a different ringleader than the one I interviewed… he approached me and asked where my parents were. When my babysitter tried to explain, he yelled at her to be quiet. That a lowly hybrid shouldn’t talk to him that way–” he furrowed his eyebrows. He stood up and tried getting as close to the glass as the chains let him. 

“–I told him my parents were busy and she was taking care of me. He laughed and said that bear hybrids belong to the circus not taking care of kids like me–” he now sat down and looked at me confused and probably questioning if I was really here “–she cried on the drive home. The ringleader gave me a phone number and told me to tell my parents he offered a ton of money for her. I know… that she didn’t trust me. So when we came home my parents were already there… They asked if I liked the show. It's when I remember looking at her and she smiled a sad smile at me with glassy eyes…” he looked at me curious and maybe interested in what I was saying?

“I started to cry. I hugged my mom saying the ringleader yelled at me and her, demanding to see them. They were… angry to say the least, and he was fired, but that didn’t mean the place was shut down” I said sadly. 

“What happened to the hybrid?” he asked and I sighed. “She… stayed with me until I had to go to college. That night she tucked me in and she muttered a thank you. I loved her like I did my mother… but one day when I returned from college to visit her they told me she was no longer needed, and so they sent her away” I said and he nodded.

“I remember that night…  men in suits came and said they were gonna sue. The next ringleader was a co-owner of his so nothing changed… are you real?” he asked and I smiled. 

“Am I?” I asked and he sighed. 

“I’d like to believe you are… even if I'd be lying to myself. Can I ask… where's Seonghwa?” he asked and I debated on telling him. “Happy,” I said and he smiled softly. 

“I hope he is. I hope he gets adopted… he loved seeing the amazed kids when he did a trick and even the hybrids. He always would say to me, he wants to be as oblivious as them… where he doesn’t know what abuse is any more” he said as he cried again. 

“I would always tell him… that it would be impossible. He’d have to be human, it's when I learned you could buy citizenship and a species change” he said… the illegal black market in Korea was dangerous. However, the surgeries they offered were hybrids… it was nearly impossible to achieve but an even smaller percentage rate of survival… 

“It’s stupid… that was my plan and now I don’t even want it. Seonghwa spoke highly of you–” he was now lying down facing his back to me “–he got along the best with Wooyoung and he’d explain to him how you saved all three of them. I never understood what you did” he said and I sighed.

“It wasn’t until they told us… San was a part of the illegal fighting rings for hybrids. No one survived over a month and yet he was a survivor of all his life. Wooyoung abandoned and Yeosang prostituted… and now us, circus captivated tigers…” he said as his whole body shook as he cried. 

“Wooyoung he said how… you wrote about hybrid rights, but I thought it was an act” he confessed and I sighed. “What would you do if you were ever given a second chance–” “I don’t deserve it. I’ll suffer the rest of my life like I was born to,” he said and it made me freeze.  Did he really believe that?

“I’m sorry, y/n. I wish you never met me” 

I walked out and I immediately hugged Kun. 

“Does he really believe that?” I asked and he sighed. “Maybe I judged him a little harshly. Maybe I was a bit biased that he almost killed you in particular,” he said and I nodded. “Do you want to see San now?” he asked and I nodded… I was worried about how he’d react. I was led to an area where the hybrids had no privacy. They were allowed to do the danger to themselves. We stopped at a kennel… San. 

“San, you have a visitor,” Kun said and he looked up and saw me. “y/n!!” he yelled with a big grin on his face. “Hi, Sannie,” I said and he smiled… until his eyes wandered to my jaw. “I’m okay, how have you been?” I said, trying to get his attention. 

“I did that to you…” he said, confusing me. “What?” I asked. “I didn’t mean to hurt you… I love you, you're the only one who cares about me” he said as he put his head down almost in shame.

“San… this wasn't you” I explained and he looked at me confused. “Do you remember Hongjoong?” I asked and his eyes darkened “He hurt you!” he yelled now angry. 

He lost any recollection of time…

“San… who am I?” I asked him and he looked at me shocked. “What do you mean? Why would I forget you? You're… my mate” he said, unsure of himself. 

“San… please get better”

“Please stop crying,” Kun said as I cried in his office. He wasn’t sure of anything… What does he even think of me? Of Wooyoung… of Yeosang?

“You should get back home… you need rest” he said and I shook my head. “But San… what if he forgets I was here–” “He hasn’t… he’s pacing his room muttering your name. Give him time to finally think for himself,” he said and I was satisfied with that answer. 

“I… I was never meant to own hybrids, was I?” I asked and he shook his head. “You're an amazing owner… you’ve rescued them at their worst and given them a second chance. Give him time” he said and I didn’t know if I believed him. 

“How’s… Hongjoong?” I asked and he sighed. “Are you sure you want to take him with you? He needs to be tested and analyzed first… I need to see if he can go down to at least an orange” he asked and I nodded. “Can I see him before I leave?” I asked and he nodded, leading me out of his office and to Hongjoong again. 

I entered again with the button and went in front of his kennel. I waited for the metal curtain to open and he was right where I last saw him.

“You’re… back? You are real… you’re alive” he said and I smiled. “Hello, Hongjoong,” I said and he looked at me confused and… scared. 

“Improve… you're still my responsibility. So when you go down to an orange, you can live a life like Seonghwa. Or… I can pay for your freedom”

I went back home. 

I cried to Wooyoung all night. Seonghwa and Yeosang were worried but I wanted to be with Wooyoung. He has been here since the beginning. 

He… somehow convinced San to trust me and now it was gone. It felt empty with San.

“Why won’t you tell me what's got you like this?” Wooyoung asked me and I could only tighten my grip on his body. I didn’t want him to leave… 

“I made breakfast… I’m sorry Wooyoung but–” “She needs to eat, thanks hyung” 

I was suddenly lifted up to my bed. “You need to eat… then you can get dressed and see him again. That's what you need right now” he said and I couldn’t stop the tears spilling.

“Angels aren’t supposed to cry…” I heard as I saw Yeosang. “Eat, please for me,” Wooyoung asked and I listened. I didn’t know what to do…

“What happened yesterday?” he asked and I sighed as I picked at the food on the plate in front of me. “San… his memory is all over the place. He thinks he attacked me… then I reminded him it was Hongjoong and he turned angry… and he could barely tell me who I was” I confessed and they sighed.

“I also gave Hongjoong the option of living here again–” “No!” Yeosang said and I smiled. “Trust me… he doesn’t seem bad. Besides… I also gave him the option for his freedom” I said and they looked at me confused. 

“I… can get in contact with a surgeon to make him look human. I can find him an identity and give him enough for a fresh start” I said and they looked at me shocked. 

“Those surgeries are low survival–” “That's mainly because they don’t have enough money… I would have to ask a hefty favor to Taeyong but I can get in contact with a good surgeon, and pay them enough to make sure he was okay” I said and they looked at me… concerned. 

“Seonghwa, if you wanna go with him–” “No… I don't want to be human. I’d rather live here if you'd let me,” he said and I smiled. “The offer will always stand… for any of you,” I said and Yeosang and Wooyoung shook their heads. 

“We’re happy with you” 

I was back here… 

I was in front of Hongjoong’s kennel. The curtains raised up and he was pacing almost like he was waiting. “Hi, Hongjoong!” I said trying to offer a grin despite how drained I felt. 

“No offense but it looks like you haven't slept,” he said and I chuckled. “I haven’t… have you decided or need more time?” I asked and he sighed. 

“Seonghwa… is he happy?” he asked and I didn’t know. “I gave him the option to be free like I could do for you… but he declined '' I said and he smiled. “Why are you offering me so much? Thank you for helping Seonghwa… you can give him everything but why are you doing this for me?” he asked and I shrugged. 

“You deserve a chance…” I said and he shook his head. “I don’t,” he said and I tried to offer him a smile. “I could’ve killed you” he cried out. “San… he hates humans you know?” I said and he looked at me confused. 

“He… hated me. Said I only adopted him to abuse him… I admit my reason for adopting him wasn’t too great. When I first saw him I was captivated… but I learned that he couldn’t be adopted because of his past and his code. So I took my chance and did what I could… but he never did trust me. So he yelled… and he taunted me. He hurt me a little bit but he accidentally knocked over a vase I had to push him out of the way so he didn't get hurt. I… got better and went to make sure he was okay but he didn’t want me to be his owner” I explained and he looked at me painfully confused. 

“He loves you… I may have tormented you and planted lies but the way he looks at you… he really does love you” he confessed and I smiled softly. 

“Overtime… he trusted me. He made me his mate… he's important to me” I said, trying not to cry. “Is he okay?” he asked and I couldn’t answer. “Hongjoong, I gave him a second chance too. So… what do you wish for? Freedom or… live with me?” I asked and he sighed. 

“Does… Seonghwa hates me?” he asked and I knew he valued his companion a lot. “He doesn’t… I gave him the option too, you know?” I asked and he chuckled. “He chose to stay with you, I know that for sure,” he said and I smiled softly. 

“I… want to give you a second chance too, and I want to redeem myself” 

While Hongjoong was getting checked out, I was led to San. 

He was staring at me once I came to view… his tail swishing behind him. He was still so pretty… and I loved him so much. 

“You're… y/n. I hated you… then I trusted you… then I loved you” he said and I felt my eyes widen. “I hurt you… then I met, Yeosang?” he asked me and I shook my head. “Wooyoung,” I said and he nodded. “The fox… he had a pathetic crush on you,” he said, making me laugh softly. Kun was beside me… he also looked confused. 

“Yeosang… his owner abused him? He’s… friends with Wooyoung. Doberman and Fox” he said… he was concentrating on facts. “You… adopted two dogs?” he asked while looking at me and I shook my head. “Uhm… cats?” he asked and I shook my head again. “They're from the circus– Tigers!” he yelled and I smiled. “One of them… hurt you,” he said and I nodded. 

“How long… have you left us here?” he asked me with a sad tone. 

“San… I came back for you as soon as I could.” I said and he nodded. “What happened to you? Why do you have those big bandages on your face?” he asked and I slid. “I was in a coma for a long time,” I said and he let out a breathy sigh. 

“Hongjoong’s claws cut a bit too deep into my skin… so I have bandages on. I woke up the day before yesterday” I explained and he nodded. “I trust you… I know you're my mate and I know I love you my head just hurts” he explained and I nodded. He was gonna be like this for a while… 

“But I… just wanna go with you. Please don’t leave me here again”

“San!” Wooyoung yelled as he tackled the panther who tensed up. “This is Wooyoung… the fox you met,” I said as I pulled Wooyoung away from him. San nodded and I could see their confused faces of what was happening.

“He’s mated to you too,” San muttered as he pulled me to him.

“Do you not remember us?” Wooyoung asks and San shakes his head. “Dissociative amnesia is what they're calling it… in his case it's because of an event that causes his brain to go into shock. Kun says in his case he should be able to regain memory with everyday activities but… we should also be prepared if he doesn’t” I said and I could see the worry on Wooyoung and Yeosang’s faces as well as the guilt in Hongjoong and Seonghwa.

“I hope we can get along” 

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

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[awordsmith]

where you came from 𝜗𝜚 s.r

۶ৎ in which you receive a letter detailing the death of your grandfather, head back to your hometown, and wonder if you ever should have left

katcember

who? spencer reid x bau!reader when? s8 category: angst to fluff (comfort) content warnings: proofed! not much sad angst (more sad angst if that makes any sense), death of a family member/funeral, reader's hometown is in Europe (purely for aesthetic), more plot than spencer (kind of idk) reid with warmth word count: 11.2k a/n: this was my one of my first ideas when first posting on tumblr so i really do hope you enjoy it! there are a few words not in english, but sometimes when writing in english it's easier to say something in another language because english can be really...corny sometimes...anyway ily cari !!

The loops and curves connecting the words in that elegant font you grew up learning stuck in the back of your mind like a non-removable tumor. You could feel it. You had a time limit–but not to live. Two days. In two days you would go back to Europe, back to a continent you had thought you’d left behind years ago, a place you had thought you held no attachment to… no emotion.

Maybe, though, it was the fact that you had been gone so long, had not once gone to visit in all your time in America, and now–now your time had run out–or rather, another, no longer invisible hourglass had lost the last of its sand and someone had flipped it again, setting a new timeline in motion.

Your grandpa, your beloved nonno*–oh how you just couldn’t believe it. 

It had hit you so suddenly, your mother normally sent you letters, you didn’t mind her old ways, she was raised by the man who taught you cursive and calligraphy–with craft you thought ancient, and technology was still rather new, and she wasn’t one to conform to change.

You sighed, shifting in your seat as Hotch and the rest of the team gave the profile. The lights were too bright; you stared at the floor, one leg crossed over the other, and your arms folded. You tried keeping your focus. Yes, you were dealing with your own problems, and yes, you had just gotten the letter yesterday, but these children needed you now–and if you couldn’t be at your best with a personal issue weighing on your shoulders, could you even call yourself an FBI agent?

Emily had just left the team a month ago and her replacement wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t Emily. You desperately needed your friend right now, your soul sister. She could tell you what to do and how to handle things like this, she’s been doing this a lot longer than you, has more experience–and she understood you, at least where family matters were concerned.

“You okay?” Spencer whispered as the officers went back to their desks or collected in groups–some even leaving–probably to talk about the best course of action. This guy was going to strike again, every indication of it was there on the board.

“Yeah,” you sighed, feeling your stomach growl.

He furrowed his brows, “when’s the last time you ate?”

“Uhm,” you stood, rubbing your wrist, “I’m not sure, but I’m fine, really,” you gave him a tight smile walking over to the board, “We know he’s targeting school busses on their drop off, he’s insecure about something, his physical strength? That’s the only reason he’d subdue the bus driver in a blitz attack.”

Spencer called your name–almost as a whine–and you paused. “Look,” he said, “I don’t think the rest of the team’s noticed, so if you eat, I won’t say anything…”

You frowned, rubbing an eye, “fine.”

You’d think a look of triumph came over him, but you’d be wrong. He looked resigned, but not indifferent, it was more of a soft relief. Spencer had no idea what you were going through, you hadn’t told anyone–and you weren’t really planning on it. You liked to keep your personal life separate from work as much as possible, that’s one of the reasons you and Emily had clicked so well–you were nearly identical in that department, and, well, you both could agree Clyde was a little bit of an ass. You’d never worked directly with her during her Interpol days, but when she left, Clyde became your team lead, and–well, actually, that’s, pretty self-explanatory.

A few years in, you were able to transfer to the BAU, you’d performed considerably well and Clyde had recommended and vouched for you and–well, Emily knew Clyde, okay perhaps your connections helped a little, but was it really your connections or your skill because without your skill, you wouldn’t have been recommended now would you have?

Regardless, you had known how massive the opportunity was, which is why you’d said yes without a second thought. You joined the team two years ago, when Emily had shown no sign of leaving. You sighed, rubbing your hands together, they were sweaty and you felt sick, maybe you should try eating something.

“Alright,” you affirmed again, “come on you’re driving.”

You threw the keys that had been lying on the table next to the board at Spencer, he’d been close to Emily too, you assumed they still spoke sometimes when they got the chance as you did with her. Your mutual bond was probably–at least you considered it the most probable–reason for why you grew so close in such a short amount of time.

You were close in age, too, which you assumed added to the comfort.

Spencer took you to the closest fast food and you ate in the car devouring each bite. He asked for coffee and “real” sugar on the side, and then he sat there and watched you eat, and when you were finished he drove you back to the police station. 

The case took you to Santa Monica, California. Penelope had ushered you all into the room as soon as you’d got into the office this morning, honestly, you were expecting it, and with the hurriedness she had, you knew it couldn’t be anywhere near good–though you considered none of the cases you received “good”, this one involved children, and it seemed they were the prime target, but what you couldn’t figure out was why.

He didn’t kill all the children–in fact, in both cases, the unsub only killed three kids; it seemed as if he was targeting specific children, but they all came from relatively different backgrounds, and both schools–when considering the environment and looking at it from a geographical perspective–weren’t at all in near-to-similar neighborhoods. Even the two kids that were killed on the same bus had no connection, they weren’t friends, the witnesses said the boys stayed away from each other unintentionally, they just never seemed to cross paths and it just did not make sense.

You wanted–no needed–to figure this out, for the next potential victims–but the team had no clue as to which school he’d hit next. For this reason, Penelope was emailing schools at the masses to keep them on high alert.

“He’s targeting school buses,” you said, taking a sip of your water. “Not schools…” Spencer nodded and you asked, “Why?”

“Perhaps something happened to him on a school bus?”

“It’s important,” you agreed, “but wouldn’t that make him–like–fifteen?”

“No,” Spencer shook his head, “a fifteen-year-old wouldn’t have this much time, he’d have been caught by now.”

“The survivors say he wore a mask, he called the students by name–”

“But not their name–maybe he’s living in a delusion?” Spencer’s speaking sped up, “maybe he’s not fifteen but he’s reliving his teenage days. Maybe he was bullied and now he wants revenge?”

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain going after high school kids now. Why not just go after the people his anger is directed toward?”

“Because he can’t? Maybe they’re substitutes?”

“We need to tell the others.”

Spencer nodded, you rushed out of the car and into the police station, catching Morgan, Hotch, and JJ leaning over a phone, talking to Penelope. You explained your theory and funnily enough, Penelope had just found school records that supported it. Each victim had been suspended within the past year, accused of bullying or inflicting some type of physical or mental pain on another student.

Complaints about the victims were filed by students, so now you knew your unsub had access to all this information, the question was what title did someone need in order to garner this details.

“That has to be how he’s choosing his victims,” Morgan said.

Hotch thought for a second, then nodded, “All alright, call Rossi and Blake, tell them to get here, Penelope, are you still on?”

“Running and ready, sir,” she confirmed, “All alright, give me a list of the next potential targets, all kids who have been suspended or complained about in the last year due to bullying, narrow the search to males, fifteen older.”

“Sir, do you want me to narrow the search between the two schools?”

“No,” Hotch sighed, looking each of you in your eyes, “I want the entire city–”

“Hotch–” 

Spencer’s eyes narrowed in confusion, but Hotch cut him off, “you really want to sit around waiting for another body?”

Everyone went silent and Spencer’s eyes flitted to you for a moment, almost as in reassurance.

“He’s right, Hotch,” you stepped forward, trying to push away all thoughts of what was to be expected of you in two days.

“You,” Hotch narrowed his eyes as if just now suspecting something was up with you. 

A silent staring contest ensued, though it was quickly broken when an officer burst into your makeshift bullpen. “Another body was discovered.” Your heart sunk and you glanced to Spencer for comfort, his eyes drifting to yours for the same thing.

It always just seemed a little bit more painful when children were involved. Your stomach lurched and you felt sick, wanting to throw up the food you’d just eaten. You just wanted this all to be over so you could focus on your family issues. It might have been selfish, but wasn’t that your right? You couldn’t think about this right now, you needed to find this guy before he murdered another innocent kid.

“Give Garcia the geographical point and have her narrow the search.”

Hotch directed at Spencer, turning to JJ, “Stay here, help him and Rossi figure out what career our unsub might have. Morgan go Blake to check out the new crime scene, and,” he turned to you, “Come with me.”

You turned to Spencer one last time, not wanting to leave him. You were always together, working together, that is. Hotch never split you up so you thought there must be a reason for it now, but why, well, you couldn’t know for certain. You shook your head and followed him out the door. He seemed to wait for you with pause, his expression unreadable, almost like he was analyzing you. You tilted your head in warning and he finally relented.

“Let’s go.”

From that point forward, there wasn’t really much of a struggle, it just sucked you had been called in so late, and that another kid had died before you caught the guy. Four kids in total, three crime scenes. The ride back on the jet was tense.

Everyone seemed to need their own space whenever you dealt with a case like this, you, well, you’d play with Spencer’s hair, if you were really tired, he’d let you lean against his shoulder or use his lap as a pillow and sleep. This time, though, you were restless and you couldn’t find the need to sleep anywhere. You knew you probably should,but…it was just too much.

You couldn’t stay seated, you paced back and forth, your mind fleeting from the case to the letter you’d received yesterday. You’d brought it with you and you hesitated only for a second before pulling it from your bag and sitting in one of the empty rows. You could feel eyes on you, though they were trying to pretend they weren’t looking.

You wanted to say you could see them, say you weren’t in need of monitoring, but you were the youngest on the team, and despite your closeness, with Emily particularly, they all cared for you, which is why when JJ slid into the seat across from you you resisted rolling your eyes.

“Are you okay? You’ve been kind of… not yourself.”

“I’m fine, JJ, thanks.” You returned your eyes to your mother’s letter.

“You sure?” she asked, “is it your mother? Has something happened?”

She motioned toward the letter. They’d gotten accustomed to seeing you read over the renaissance looking artifacts throughout the day. That wasn’t the unusual part, no JJ was talking about how you weren’t attached to Spencer’s hip, how you avoided them all almost the entire day, and how you had been so focused on the case as if you were trying to make something else dissappear.

“We’re all here for you, you know.” She reached her hand out, rubbing her thumb over it.

“Yeah,” Morgan motioned for JJ to scoot over, “we’re a family, you know.”

“Aww, I wish I was there,” Penelope said from the other side of Morgan’s phone. You wanted to scoff, but a sad smile pressed to your mouth instead. They were cornering you as if they’d planned it.

Your eyes flitter over toward Rossi and Hotch who were pretending not to listen and Blake, who was evidently really not, then they landed on Spencer’s who stood suddenly from his normal spot in the front of the jet and began walking toward you. “See, even pretty boy’s upset.”

“I am not upset,” Spencer scoffed, sliding into the seat next to you. But then he held your gaze as if trying to communicate with his eyes, “but we are here for you, you know I’m always here, and…I’m sure if you called, Emily would be too.”

You took a breath, and when it came out it was shuddering, and that was the first time crying had crossed your mind. So, you said–first in general, “My grandfather just passed, I’m supposed to leave in two days for his funeral.” You let them take it in, then, “I need time off, Hotch.”

A snort came from Rossi and the team frowned at him, but you smiled, why was he so unserious all the time? You rolled your eyes, but then Penelope spoke up from the phone in Morgan’s pocket, “if you need someone to go with you, I’d be willing.”

Your eyes swelled at her offer and you opened your mouth to say ‘Really?’ but Spencer said, “I’d go too–you know, if you wanted that is,” before you could open your mouth.

“Thank you,” you nodded, “I’d like that…and you know…it wouldn’t hurt if the rest of you came as well,” your admission scared you, what were you doing? This is the exactly the opposite response Emily would have given, but maybe you weren’t as strong as Emily, and maybe…maybe that was okay.

“When are we leaving again?” Rossi sighed, pulling out his phone, “I’ll have to check my schedule.” And with that you let loose a snort, appreciating the kindness of your team.

“Jack, Will, and Henry are welcome to come as well.” You said, “And that girlfriend of yours, Hotch,” you added, “I think I’d be able to brave my family again if I had the Guardians of the Galaxy with me.”

“What about Strauss?” JJ suddenly asked, “What are we gonna tell her?”

“Oh you let me worry about her,” Blake smiled, though you had been sure she wasn’t even listening.

“You’re from Europe right?”

You huffed a sigh, “Yes, Rossi, I’m sure we’re not cousins.”

A few chuckled as Rossi responded with a nod and a smug grin,  “Just checking.”

You claimed the window seat, forcing Spencer to sit in the middle, though you had to climb over him multiple times to use the bathroom, you didn’t care, and neither did he…much. You thought you’d be able to sleep, but just like on the jet, you found yourself restless, and Spencer, well, he couldn’t help but ask.

The first question was simple, “how do you feel about going home?”

You laughed, a bitter expression framing your face, “I don’t know.” You were lying, though he wasn’t sure if you knew that fact yourself as you seemed genuine. The only way he knew for sure your response wasn’t what your subconscious truly thought was was by the way your lips pressed together right before you spoke, that was your tell.

He didn't know if you knew you did it, but he’d caught on to it pretty quickly when you’d first met, it had been something small, but he remembered it as clearly as if it were playing out right now in front of him. It had to do with your favorite food. Morgan had said he’d overheard you talking to Emily about how you wanted a certain order from this new restaurant because it tasted like the one you had back home, and to surprise you, he had brought it in one day and set it on your desk, brimming with energy to see your reaction.

You were confused at first, but when you saw him, you’d grinned, prying to box open, then your eyebrows had shot up and he’d asked you if it was your favorite food. You’d pressed your lips together and nodded, grimacing with the first bite, “I love it, thank you.”

Later on, he’d smacked Morgan for the first time upside the head, running away quickly after, Morgan had chased him for some time until Hotch had told them to stop acting like, “idiots,” and thst, “Jack acthas better self control than you two most days.”

“Do you have any pets at home?” He asked, watching you stretch out your arms above your head, deflating against your seat.

You smiled, “I used to have a dog, but she died before I left for university.”

“I’m sorry,” he frowned.

“Don’t be, she wasn’t really mine, but my sister’s.”

He nodded, it was early morning, everyone had gotten up way before they’d wanted to, except him. He was ready to go a bit too early, and when he’d picked you up at your apartment, it seemed as if you hadn’t slept much either.

“Hey, Spencer?” You suddenly whispered.

“Yeah?” He stared down at you as you began to move, causing him to shift until his body aligned with yours and your back hit his chest.

“Do you want to hear a boring story?” He quirked a brow, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. To the normal eye, you seemed incredibly close, strangely close–a couple kind of close, but to the team and between the two of you, it was more like the relationship Penelope and Dereck had, although instead of heaty words, it was comforting gestures like this, that, and you were always attached at the hip, you were partners with each other before anyone else, work partners that is.

“What’s a boring story?” He asked and you didn’t know if he was trying to be poetic, but it brought a smile to your face.

“My grandfather,” you focussed your eyes on the window, finding warmth in being pressed against him, his arms acting as a blanket that wrapped around you. “He was old in age, I mean, I knew that even when I was a kid, but there were times,” you shook your head recalling the moments in your mind.

Spencer kept quiet, listening intently as he rubbed circles on the exposed inner corner of your elbow.

“He would take me on adventures and back then, he seemed so young, so exceptionally immortal. It was otherworldly,” your voice got quieter as you continued, “I don’t know how to face him,” you sighed–God it seemed like all you could do for the past 45 hours was sigh.

“Tell me,” he whispered, “tell me about the adventures.”

You paused, turning your head slightly to see him, you’d done this countless times, but for some reason, it seemed more pertinent now. More….significant, “my grandad,” you murmured, “he was my captain. That was the game. We’d go to the pier sometimes, or the forest, and he’d always have these elaborate scavenger hunts set up in advance. He really–” you blinked and breathed, “...he was really good at things like that.”

“Setting up games?” Spencer asked incredulously, but you knew it was good-natured, meant to bring the smile that had so evidently fallen off back to your face.

“At crafting and cultivating imagination.”

“Ah,” Spencer nodded, “yeah how did I miss that?”

You smacked is chest playfully.

“How do you feel about seeing your family, how long has it been?”

You gazed out the window again, there was low chatter around the plain, it was dark, the lights were off, and most people were asleep. You pondered briefly about why Spencer was still up and deigned to ask him when sunlight shone through the window, blinding you momentarily. It wasn’t a lot nor was it as bright as you were used to, and it was quickly hidden behind the clouds once more, but you smiled at it anyway.

“A new beginning,” you raised your hand, blocking the slight sunlight that filtered in now and then, not really sure what you meant.

Spencer chuckled, reaching out to grab your wris. He held it, waving it around as if you were casting a non-verbal spell.

“We don’t have to talk about it now,” he whispered, “but whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

“I know you will,” you replied as easily as if you hadn’t said anything at all. “You always are.”

And again, for a moment, you pondered why that was, why Spencer always seemed to be the only person–other than Emily–who was always there for you when you needed someone, why he was the only person you wanted there when things went wrong. 

It was a question that had bubbled up over the last month since Emily had left. You’d begun to lean on him a lot more, yes, but you could very well just have as easily called Emily. Spencer wasn’t lying, you knew she would pick up no matter what, but oddly, you found you didn't want to call her because–you already had the person you needed with you. And he would always be there, even if you stopped working together, Spencer would always be there.

You were sure you could call him in the middle of the night and he’d come running. But why would you want to? You shook the dangerous thought away. 

“It’s sunrise,” he said, pulling your attention back to the window. Slowly, he brought your hand to once again rest on your stomach.

“We still have about 5 hours,” you sighed, noting the time.

He leaned back, shifting in his seat, “Then we better get comfortable.”

You wondered what you’d do first when you landed, would you have so much jet lag you wouldn’t be able to see your family for some time? Would you be able to sleep? Finally? Where would your grandpa be? Probably at the funeral home. Would other family members be traveling into the city for the funeral? If they were they’d have to stay at the main house, there wewould be no other space available in the others.

You were only staying three days, and if Stauss called you in early, you’d have no choice, but to leave before that. You were able to solve one more case before you left, though you had still strained for sleep, everyone else seemed to be a little overly excited. Blake stayed to help other teams, she was new and you weren’t that close, though she didn’t seem to mind.

She was like Rossi in that department, unable to take days away from work as she ran on catching these guys. But for you, and everyone else on the team, you were sure, you couldn’t wait for your days off.

They were the closest thing you got to normalcy, that and time with Spencer outside of work, it was time in your world, one where bad guys didn’t exist, one where you could escape into the realities of a Charlotte Bontë novel, one your grandpa had gifted you before you could remember a life without it.

You wanted to thank Spencer, but you didn’t know how. You wanted to thank everyone, really, but Spencer most of all, and instead of thinking about why, of letting it plague your thoughts, you leaned further into him, rubbed your face into his soft sweater vest, and closed your eyes.

Penelope threw her head back as she grabbed her suitcase, “where to now?” Spencer pushed her sunhat out of the way. She was in for a rude awakening, it was winter in Europe, and though most people were on holiday, that only meant the airports would be extra lively.

“First, let’s make sure we have everyone.” You began counting of heads, narrowing your eyes, “where’s Hotch?”

“We’re here!” Jack came running, Hotch sprinting after him. It was not too odd a sight, for you to see Hotch in dad mode, he normally had that look on when Spencer did something stupid or Penelope said too much on speaker–but this, oh this was gold.

Rossi snapped a photo with an old camera he’d brought along, chuckling when Hotch glared at him. “Alright,” you nodded, noting Hotch’s girlfriend slowly filling the space beside him. “Now, my immediate family isn’t that big, but the rest of the family does live in the same town, so you’ve all been assigned housemates.”

“Housemates?” JJ raised a brow.

“I’ll,” you checked the time, “explain on the train, come on.”

You were honestly surprised everyone had come, you’d invited them because you truly had thought them being here would lessen the pain, but to think that they all wanted to be here for you as well, even Rossi had come–and he hated taking vacation time. Though, the most surprising had to be the fact that Blake had actually succeeded in getting Straus to let you all come.

You stayed together, it was easy for some, though others kept getting sidetracked. You stopped a few times to look at a few shops and monuments, though you kept explaining to Penelope she’d have more than enough time later to go on her mini explorations.

You supposed it was normal though, that was how you were your first time in America–your first time in any new country or state, really. Most everyone had never been to Europe, even for you it felt like stepping into a storybook. You hadn’t been home in so long, it was like a lost memory.

Though afternoon, the day was getting dark already, and people were milling about, readying for Christmas–your heart lurched, and though you tried not thinking about him too much, you couldn’t help but wonder if your grandfather had been alone during his passing, what were his last words? His last thoughts? Rainclouds not only drew to the sky but your mind as well.

You felt more than guilty, that was the only way you could describe the horrid emotion twisting in your gut ever since you’d received the letter. You hadn’t seen your parents–your sister–face to face in a long time. It was part of the guilt of moving to America without giving them a heads up and for leaving when you knew they wanted you to stay.

Your older sister had stayed, why couldn’t you have? There really was no explanation other than you just couldn’t. It felt small, suffocating. You loved your hometown, but eventually, you knew there had to be something more out there, something more calling your name, and the longer you stayed, the more you buried that feeling, the less motivated to do anything you got.

So, you saved up during your uni days and took the first position in America you’d found, which is how you ended up at Interpol, climbing the ranks slowly but surely and eventually working with Clyde.

You reached the train station, the cool weather making everything around you a tint of blue. The benches that sat in front of the train tracks were taken up by Jack, Henry, and Will, who’d been carrying a ton of baby supplies. You paused, checked your watch again, nodded, and turned your face toward everyone again, “Alright people, here’s the plan. My family knows you're coming, one of the reasons they were okay with it is because we own a few properties and can house you all, hence your housemates, or if you prefer, hosts.” You glanced at JJ, “You, Will, and Henry will be staying with my sister and her husband. She has two kids so she’s used to the noise.”

You had thought about letting Hotch stay with your sister, but that would have just been too weird. No, instead you’d paired Hotch up with one of your cousins, who was married, but had no kids. Jack was older, no longer in diapers, and had a controlled temper, so it seemed perfect.

You relayed this information and moved on, “Penelope and Morgan, you’re staying with my aunt and uncle on my dad’s side, trust me, you’ll be thanking me–and Rossi, you’re with my aunt an uncle on my mom’s side Is that everyone then?” You looked around, nodding.

“Hang on,” Rossi held up a hand, “I don’t like the way you said that last part.”

“That’s everyone then?” You ignored him, “All alright, the train should be here–” You cut off your sentence as the train pulled into the station, “...right on time.”

 Waiting your turn to step onto the train as people made their way off, you felt around in your pocket for the letter one last time, sighing in relief when you it was still there. You grabbed your suitcase and began pulling it aboard the train when Spencer grabbed your arm and held you back. You glanced at everyone else boarding the train, making sure you had time before turning back, “Uhm,” he frowned, looking awkward, “where am I staying?”

“Hmm?” Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at your watch again, “with me and my parents.” You said it so simply, as if it were an afterthought–as if it was so incredibly obvious that you didn’t think you had to mention it.

“Oh,” he didn’t know how to feel, he was a little embarrassed, but there was something else…sick? He didn’t know, but it made him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

“Come on,” you latched your hand onto his wrist and yanked him onto the train, “before it leaves without us.”

You honestly wanted to go straight to your parent's house, but you knew you had to introduce your co-workers/friends to your family so when you left it wasn’t so weird, though the only one who complained was Rossi, you couldn’t blame him, but at the same time you found it funny. He swore up and down you had put him in this position on purpose and he didn’t find it funny–“Not one bit,” he’d said right before you left him in his room. “I’ll get you back for this,” he’d warned.

Once you’d left JJ, Will, and Henry at your sisters–she hadn’t been home, thank God, as you didn’t think you could face her just yet–you and Spencer hailed a cab and had all but drifted off to sleep during the ride to your childhood home. Your mom had been the firstborn, so she’d gotten the main house, though your grandparents never left. They had kind acted as your second parents growing up and you were incredibly close, especially you and your grandfather…and now he was gone. You bit the inner corner of your cheek, feeling like you wanted to cry but just couldn’t find the comfort to do so.

Spencer noticed, of course, that you were leaning on him, and had been the entire cab ride. When the it came to a stop in front of a large, three-story Victorian house, he hesitated before shaking you awake. He wouldn’t have done it if he knew what to do, but this wasn’t his house and this was the first time he was going to meet your parents, though it excited him, he couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why.

You were like–his platonic soulmate, nothing had ever happened between you two and just because you were going to be sleeping in the same house, probably a few feet apart, didn’t mean anything was going to start now. Morgan slept at Penelope’s all the time and though Spencer always suspected they were more, nothing had ever happened, which meant it was possible for a guy and a girl to just be friends–and yet, here is was, palms sweating, mind running, mouth drying as he walked up the trail leading to the front door of your parent’s house.

A knock, and hushed whispers, and then the door opened, your mother standing in the doorway with a bright smile on her face. She called your name and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a hug. You wondered if your grandpa was at the funeral home still, if he was cold, which was a stupid thought, he couldn’t feel anything, he was gone, no longer here roaming the earth, telling his outdated jokes and taking you on secret journey’s, and you were no longer that little girl who laughed at his outdated jokes and believed in the magic of his secret journeys.

When you pulled away your mother, with her now thinning, grayed hair pulled into a tight ponytail and the wrinkles lining her frail face–said, “Oh, let me get a look at you.” 

She took a step back and that’s when your father came into view, “Dad,” you smiled, the feeling almost overwhelming.

He pulled you into another hug, and just when you didn’t know if you could handle seeing one more relative you hadn’t seen in ages, your grandmother shouted from somewhere on the first floor, “Is that her? Is she here?”

Your heart seized itself and you took a step back, unknowingly stepping into Spencer’s personal space. You turned to apologize, but your grandmother had already wobbled in on her two dainty legs, as quickly as she could have if in her prime. Her old crone eyes narrowed, “nice of you to grace us with your presence.” She sprinkled salt on the floor as she glowered.

“Mom,” your mother groaned.

“What?” She crossed her arms and turned her head as if she had things better to do than welcome the granddaughter–who’d left everything behind–back into her life.

“It’s fine, Mom,” you reassured as your father went to close the door behind you’d walked in, Spencer gled to your back.

Your grandmother stomped out of the room in old lady fashion. “How are you dear? Have you been getting my letters?”

You cringed, “Yes,” though you never sent one back, you did always text a message, thanking your mom for writing you, she’d only heart it, though, which left you wondering if maybe you should’ve picked up a pen and paper. “I keep them all secure in a drawer.”

She nodded, a placid smile falling to her lips, “Well, you must be tired and–” she glanced at you, then at Spencer, then at your father and held his gaze for a moment before returning her eyes to you, “who’s your…”

“Oh, this is Spencer,” you patted his chest as if that was explanation enough.

Your mother nodded, not really sure how to take it, she turned to Spencer, hoping he’d offer a little more information, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Spencer stared at her hand, contemplating and you were just about to say something about it when he reached out and shook it. Slack-jawed, you eyed him suspiciously, turning away in a huff. When you’d first met him, he’d refused to shake your hand, sure he had come a long way since then, but it still annoyed you for some reason.

“Come, let me show you your rooms.”

Your mother led you up the starcase than faded into a small stairwell, leading up to the second floor. The wood was old mahogany, though you weren’t paying much attention to it. At the end of the left hall was another staircase that led to the third floor, but even half awake you knew it was probably locked. It always had been. 

You recognized the wallpaper, a deep, forest green and you half wondered if the wallpaper in your bedroom had changed, if it had been converted into a guest bedroom. Your mother gave Spencer the guest room down the hall. You waved goonight to him before heading into your room. He paused his eyes taking in your childhood home.

It was so incredibly different from his, but it also felt…small. You were this giant, bubble of energy and a quiet town in Europe just dind’t seem to add up to your personality. He sighed and pulled open the door, you weren’t a few steps away like he had hoped, but you were close enough. He stopped himself–this was completely bizarre, even for him. This was more up–well, he didn’t know, but it wasn’t up his alley.

Tired, you’d turned in for the night, though your eyes caught on all the things you’d left behind, you told yourself you’d look at it in the morning. You were glad everyone was here supporting you, you were especially glad to have Spencer–were glad he came, but then of course he came, that was just the kind of person he was.

You turned off the lamp on the bedside table, burying your face in the sheets, finding yourself still unable to cry, but whispering, “You would have liked him a lot, nonno*.” Which was madness, firstly, why did it matter if you grandfather would have liked Spencer or not. Secondly, your grandfather was gone, and the whole reason you were here was because of that fact. Maybe you just couldn’t accept it yet and that’s why you were thinking all these weird thoughts, why you couldn't cry.

You sighed, shutting your eyes, hoping you wouldn’t dream; to face tomorrow, you would just need sleep. Sleep and a lot of quiet.

You cracked open one eye, light trickling in through the curtains though it wasn’t bright. You left your door ajar as you headed toward the bathroom. There was soft chatter on the first floor, and you were sure your grandmother and parents were awake. The faint aroma of coffee wafted through the air and you wondered if Spencer was up too.

You didn’t have to wait long to find out as he stepped out of the bathroom just as you went to open the door. His hair was wet and he was wearing a white collared shirt under a brown sweater vest. He smiled when he saw you, though your eyes were drawn to the water dripping down his forehead. He was holding a towel, you assumed to try and dry it, though it looked if he hadn’t had much success.

“Morning.” You murmured.

“Good morning,” he echoed, stepping out of the way. “You’re parents said I could,” he motioned behind him, pressing his lips together when you raised a brow. He nodded, “hurry? I am kind of nervous.”

You snorted and shook your head, “sure thing, piccolo*.”

You shut the bathroom door behind you, feeling an airy sensation float through your body as you began pulling your clothes off.

Half an hour later, you found Spencer in his room still trying to dry his hair. “You should just let it air dry.” You voiced, tucking a lock of your own wet hair behind your ear.

He looked up when you opened the door, sighing, and setting the hand towel to the side. His hair was nearly dry, though he was trying to get the wet bits in the back. 

You huffed, climbing on the bed and sitting behind him on your knees, “let me see it.” You began massaging the now-damp towel into his hair, trying to use the little dry parts it still had left. He chuckled, jerking his head slightly when the towel rubbed a sensitive spot. You smirked, “that tickle?”

He huffed another laugh, “stop,” he called your name in warning, “I’m serious.”

You laughed, running the towel teasingly up and down his neck. He jerked and eventually jumped up, pushing you backward on accident. He launched a tickle attack, fingers jabbing at your sides, your neck, under your arms, and when you thought he couldn’t get any worse, he sought your feet, your sockless feet.

“Okay!” You snorted, “Okay, you win!”

“What?” He asked, staring down at you with triumph.

“Oh, don’t be an ass.” 

He grinned playfully, but relented, “Alright, come on, your parents probably want to see you.”

You huffed a sigh and threw your head back, the pillows coming to its rescue as you let your hands come to rest on your stomach, “do we have to?” His grin eased into a gentle smile and you gave in, jumping up, “Yeah, fine.” 

You headed downstairs, passing picture frames from past relatives. There were so many ancient trinkets that your generations had left behind, Spencer said it was like walking through time, and it honestly was. Not just because the house was built in the middle 1800s, but because everything from the wallpaper to the furniture, and right down to the people still living in it–had that reminiscent aura about them.

“Nice of you to join us.” Your grandmother said as you walked in, “And who’s this, a boyfriend?”

Your mother sent hers a warning glare before turning back to you, “good morning, please sit,” she motioned toward the breakfast table.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Spencer said taking the seat beside you, “again.”

Your mother laughed and waved a hand, “There is no need for formalities, but I do want to thank you for coming.” She glanced at you momentarily, but you avoided her eyes. You knew you would eventually have to speak to everyone again, but you weren’t ready for that yet.

“So, how long have you been dating my daughter?” Your father asked. You would have choked on the tea had you drunk any prior. Your eyes widened instead and you turned to Spencer apologetically, but he didn’t seem at all fazed, “we’re just friends.”

His smile seemed content, but your grandmother scoffed. You turned to her, almost already fed up with the little attitude that’d been present since your arrival. You knew she had always preferred the company of your sister, and she detested you for leaving without a word–not to her, but to your grandfather.

You frowned, wanting to ask about it, but you couldn’t find words that would bring the least amount of sadness to the room. 

“Are you going out today?” Your father changed the subject, turning toward Spencer. He seemed to catch on to the fact that you were uncomfortable, so he directed all his questions at your beloved pretty boy.

Spencer answered them with ease–to which you knew you’d be in debt. An hour went by and Penelope was blowing up the team group chat, asking when you were meeting up. Eventually, you knew you’d have to take her around town and to be honest, you could use a little distraction from the looming presence of being around the rest of your family when they got in this afternoon.

“When will you be back?” Your mother asked

“Not sure,” you replied, more clipped than you meant for it to be.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on her,” Spencer reassured, trying to ease the tension.

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” your grandmother poked her head out of nowhere.

You shot her a glare and said, “Is this your way of seeing me off?”

Shocked by your reply, she tutted and jerked her head away, with closed eyes and crossed arms. You rolled your eyes, whispering, “see you later,” in the softest voice you could manage.

“That was…”

You huffed, wrapping your arms around yourself, “tell me about it.”

“So…your grandmother…”

“She hates me because I left, deep down they all do.” You frowned, but no tears came, they seemed to evade you.

Spencer pressed his lips together, normally he had the perfect response for anything you said, but you never spoke about your family. You were always sure to draw a boundary, you were very much like Emily in that sense, or at least he thought so.

You took a cab to the pier, agreeing to meet at the beach seemed simple. There were a few people, mostly locals though, your hometown wasn’t a place tourists normally visited. The main reason this town was able to survive was because a lot of the residents were wealthy, and that wealth stayed in the family and–well, the families stayed here.

“Woah,” Penelope yelped at the fourth store you stopped in, “we have to look around,” she said, eye-widening. Jack and Henry were milling about together, looking at little trinkets. You recognized the shop, it was an antique toy store–your grandfather had bought all your gifts over the years from this one in particular, some were secondhand, but they were sentimental to you and you had taken a few with you when you’d moved to America. 

“Babygirl, calm down.” Morgan laughed, following her down an aisle.

“How’s everyone settling in?” You asked, turning to Rossi when he huffed and muttered something under his breath. “What was that?” You leaned in, grinning.

Spencer pulled you back just as Rossi glared and called you a sadist. “We’re doing fine, your sister is nice.” JJ smiled, “she was asking about you,” she paused, waiting to see if it was an alright topic of conversation. When she realized you were waiting patiently for her to continue, she did, “she said she was sorry for not being home when you dropped us off. She wanted to catch up.”

You took a breath, your cheeks seemingly hot in the cold weather. “I know it’s not my place,” Will started, catching your eyes, “...but I…I think you should talk to her…”

You frowned at him, contemplating, then you nodded, sigh slipping past your lips, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Oh!” Penelope shouted, “Gelato, my phone says there’s a gelato place right around the corner!” 

You noticed Morgan walking up behind her when a laugh–though it sounded more like a croak–rang through your ears. “Your phone would be correct,” an old woman rounded the counter, short as could be. Her eyes bounced from face to face, settling on yours, “I told your old wench of a grandmother you’d come back. Were it for anything it’d be for him.” She sighed, “Come here, let me have a spin, my God how long has it been?”

You wanted to say eight years, but you neglected that subject and instead focussed your memory on figuring out who this woman was. 

“Hmm,” she hummed after a moment, taking a step back, her arms so incredibly bony they looked as if they might snap with the slightest pressure. Her pallor was somewhat tanned, and there were a few black spots up and down her exposed skin.

“You’re nonna’s old classmate.” It clicked, she was always stopping by the house in your earlier days, and she’d sometimes sit on the wraparound porch, sipping wine with your grandmother.

“Did you forget me already capretta*?” She chuckled as if she’d made a joke.

The rest of your group had deemed the conversation not there’s to listen in on, so they’d taken to wandering around the shop, the only one who stayed–partially because he wanted to and partially because you’d grabbed his wrist when he had tried walking away–was Spencer.

“I’m not a little girl anymore,” you murmured, “you shouldn’t call me that.”

“Oh, you’ll always be capretta* to me, you and all the others.” She smiled, her beady eyes watching you for a moment, as if expecting you to do something brash. Eventually, she said, “his funeral is tomorrow, yes?”

“Yeah,” saying it brought out a wave of pain. Your mouth felt heavy and your stomach dropped to your feet.

She nodded, “have you decided what you’re going to say?”

You shook your head, “I won’t be speaking.”

She paused, disappointment flashing across her face, “well, I’m sorry to hear that.” You pressed your lips together and began turning away, ready to get out of this uncomfortable situation, but she wasn’t finished, “you know, I’m sure he’s happy you’re here.”

Spencer watched you close your eyes, take a deep, shuddering breath, and open them carefully. He watched them gloss over and without thinking about it, snaked a hand behind your back, as if holding you to this earth would help you in some way, unbeknownst to him, it did. His touch grounded you, and you thought, another debt to be owed.

“You’re amante*,” she said right before you walked back outside.

“He’s not my–” you waved your hands but your your words faltered as she shook a cloth at you, a knowing smile adorning her face.

“Maybe not yet, capretta*.”

You sighed, yanking Spencer outside. “What did she say?” He asked as if he couldn’t use damned context clues.

“Nothing,” you responded, but Rossi raised an eyebrow, holding up his hands when you shot him a look, your eyes flashing in warning. 

The other’s finally joined you outside and you spent a few more hours acting as a tour guide. When you deemed it time to go home, you told everyone to be ready in formal attire around 8, the rest of your family would be coming in, staying at the main house as it was the last place that still had room, and a small party would ensue. Everyone only came together for weddings and funerals so they tended to make the most of it.

You weren’t really looking forward to seeing the rest of your cousins, hell you could barely face your immediate family, extended seemed a little too much too soon.

You thought about hiding up in your room, you hadn't had much time to take it in yet and you thought it might help.

Relatives started arriving around 7:30. Spencer had wandered down to your room and knocked, though you could hear the hesitation in it. “Come in,” you said, sitting up.

He walked through, shutting the door softly behind him. “So this is where I find all your secrets.” He chirped, an easy smile settling on his face as joined you on the bed, leaning back. “It’s pink,” he noted.

“Hey,” you said, “the wallpaper came with the room.”

He huffed a laugh, his eyes catching on a few blankets stacked neatly on a shelf linear your bed, “are those your baby blankets?”

“No,” you laid back down, the lamp at your side dimming slightly. “I think I stole those from my sister.”

He smiled, “I wonder what it’s like to have a sibling.”

You smiled, recalling all the idiotic fights you’d get into, how your parents would send you two to your room until you, “learned to love each other”. “She’s older by a few years,” your voice carried through the silent room, though it was lively on the first floor. You suddenly remembered you had a third, but you couldn’t recall a single memory of you being allowed there as is had always been locked.

“Do you want to talk about her?” He asked after a while.

You debated, on one hand, it might be good practice for when you spoke to her, on the other hand, what would you even say? You had no idea how she’d been these past eight years, what her life was like. What could you say and so you said, “ask me about her.”

He hummed for a moment, falling on, “why’d you steal the blankets?”

Your lips pressed together and you tried piecing together an accurate depiction of the event. “Well, she’d got them on a trip with our grandmother. My grandfather and I had been on an adventure, I think we were in the forest, I can’t remember,” you sat up and pushed yourself off the bed, walking over to the dresser and bending down to the shelf that held the blankets.

Spencer sat up, letting his eyes follow you, he felt warm, not anxious. Though his mind was working slowly, he found he didn’t mind. You seemed to calm everything down for him, it was a sense of comfort he hadn’t known he’d needed until you came into his life, and his headaches from before had slowly ceased the closer the two of you got.

“This one,” you held up, “was originally hers.” You brought it to him as he pushed himself to the edge of the bed, his feet sprawled around you. You didn’t think twice before stepping in between him, but you had never done that before and it caught him off guard. You had never been in such proximity when you were both wide awake, and you certainly had never faced each other like this.

Nevertheless, he didn’t mind–in fact, he was finding it increasingly obvious that he preferred you to be as close to him as possible. He ran a hand over the smooth ruffles of the white blanket. It was pleaded with light pink embroidery. “You should give it to your daughter.” He heard himself say, though his throat went dry right after. 

“You think so?” You found yourself wanting to be closer to him–as if I’m not close enough, you scolded yourself.

“Yeah,” he looked up at you, and gosh–it looked like he wanted you, and gosh–you felt your heartbeat speed up.

Your body moved on its own, stepping forward, loving the way his legs close together to entrap you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, dropping the blanket down beside him. You lifted your knees onto either side of his waist and sat in his lap, his arms snaking around your hips. “Hi,” you murmured, a nervous–almost hesitant–expression falling over your features.

His eyes flitted between your lips and your eyes, but he managed to force out a, “hi.”

You bit your lip and it drew his gaze instantly, you could feel his heart palpitate in his chest, almost as fast as yours. His eye fluttered close and his head fell back when you ran your hands through his hair. You didn’t know what you were doing, you told yourself multiple times, unsure of why this was happening–now of all times, oh your sweet nonno! Forgive me, you pleaded.

You angled your head forward, ready to do the one thing you’d knew your subconscious had been wanting for God knew how long, but then a knock sounded on the door and Spencer’s eyes opened once again.

“Who–” you cleared your throat, “who is it?”

“Uhm,” a nervous chuckle came from the other side of the door, “it..it’s me.” Your sister. You cursed, glanced at Spencer, then with an apologetic look, unraveled yourself from his embrace.

You walked toward the door, trying to fix your nettled clothing in the process. You took a breath and paused, then opened the door. Your sister stood there, tall, lean, and elegant, as you remembered her to be. “Hi,” she smiled, tilting her head.

You smiled back, trying your best to not give away what had just been going on–what the actual hell was just going on? You wanted to contemplate it more, wanted to ask yourself what the hell you thought you were doing–but refrained from doing so in the moment.

“Can…can I come in?”

You tensed, your eyes darting behind you and Spencer stood, throwing you an understanding glance. Your sister took a step back as he left the room, eyes following him as he disappeared somewhere down the hall. You swallowed and shifted out of the doorway, “come in.”

She raised an eyebrow but kept quiet upon you lifting a hand. 

“How have you been?” She asked once you shut the door. 

You thought about your answer, settling for, “good,” because you had been good, you had been very good, up until you got that letter.

“That’s good,” she responded, looking around the room, smiling, “you know, mom kept it just the way you had it when you left.”

You nodded, yes, you had noticed that, but you weren’t sure how you felt about it just yet.

“What’s this?” She walked toward your bed, where Spencer had been not a minute ago. She picked up the dainty blanket and sat down, steering clear of the part that had been undoubltey rumpled by Spencer. “Oh,” she said as if just recalling, “it’s the blanket I gave you.”

Your eyebrows scrunched together, you distinctly remember you stealing it from your room and hiding it when she had come asking if you’d seen it.

She laughed, apparently recalling the same thing, “I knew you had it back then,” which came as a surprise to you. She bit back a smile as she began folding it again, “nonna told me to let you keep it.”

Your eyes widened slightly, “did she?”

“Yep,” your sister popped the ‘p’.

“Hmm,” you hummed.

“What?” She asked, setting the blanket aside.

“She’s become batty.”

Your sister’s eyebrows rose, “how do you mean?”

“She’s been nothing but brutal to me,” you frowned, crossing your arms.

Your sister’s eye crinkled like she was about to laugh, “wow,” she said instead, “you’ve been gone so long you must have forgotten.”

“Forgotten what?” You scoffed.

“That’s how she’s always been,” your sister shook her head, mumbling your name and something else incoherent before turning to look back up at you, “I hope you visit again, that this isn’t some one off thing.”

You pulled away, your walls instantly going back up and your sister sighed, clearly noting the mask of an expression. “You always did that when you were a kid, you know.”

“Did what?” You furrowed your brows.

“Fold into yourself,” she waved her hands, “I don’t know how else to explain it.” She huffed, “you know, we really miss you, everyone. My kids,” she started, tears thrreatening to break loose, “you nieces and nephews–they don’t even know you.”

You looked down and for a second you weren’t sure what she was talking about, but then you remembered that yes–you were a zia*, your sister had children, three of them, and you hadn’t met them once.

Guilt wrapped itself around you like a veil, “I’m sorry,” you heard yourself saying, your face contorting as if you wanted to cry, wanted to express how remorseful you felt, but didn’t know how to.

“You’re just like her,” she threw her head back as a few tears ran down her cheek, “I think that’s why you were closer to Nonno*. You and Nonna* are too alike, you’re both so damn stubborn.” She huffed a laugh and for a moment, a sliver of a smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

“I think love my best friend,” you found yourself admitting, maybe it was your way of trying to reach out, to tell your sister you were still you.

“That guy that was just here?” She grinned at you, “yeah, the family has been talking about it, Nonna* said to expect a wedding within the next year.”

Your face fell, embarrassment taking over, “what? Why? That old bat!” You scoffed, standing, “I can’t believe her, I’ve only been here–what? Two days? If that? That crazy old woman,” you marched toward the door, “Well?” You called to your sister, “are you going to back me up or what?”

She stared at you for a moment and then slowly, but surely, an calm smile crept onto her face, but her eyes were ones of storybook villains,“yeah, sure.”

The day started gloomy, though when you met Spencer in the hall, it became just a little less than that. You weren’t feeling like yourself, though you weren’t actually sure what self you were referring to. 

JJ had messaged the group chat that she’d be late because Henry had an accident right before they set off to leave. You thought about messaging your sister, but it felt weird, you weren’t used to initiating conversation with your family, so you didn’t, although you did plan to speak before the funeral.

You wore simple black attire, as did everyone else and you caught yourself holding onto Spencer’s hand tighter than usual, almost as if he’d leave you too, and you couldn’t have that. Your heart studded in your chest once you saw the coffin, it was closed, of course. It had been open for the hearing, but that had occured before you’d landed.

You couldn’t move forward. You told the others to go on and after making sure you were okay, they did, “but you’re not allowed to go,” you’d whispered, almost to yourself.

Spencer had squeezed your hand, whispering back, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Your family gathered around the casket and the sacerdote* stepped forward, reading off a few of the retellings your grandmother had no doubt written down with the help of your parents. You noted a few other, non-related spectators, probably friends.

A few of his favorite songs were played and then your mother said a few words, followed by your grandmother, and finally your sister. “Are you okay?” Spencer pulled you closer by your arm.

You pressed your lips together, watching the coffin being lowered into the grave. “I don’t know…” and when you swallowed, you found your throat dry and for the first time since the letter, you not only found yourself wanting to cry, you found it was almost within reach.

The ceremony ended and relatives began dropping dirt into the grave, you thought to say one last prayer before leaving, but you didn’t want anyone to see you. You turned to Spencer and let go of his hand, “I just…” you turned away, pressing your lips together as you eyed the fresh grave.

He smiled sadly, but he nodded; he always seemed to be able to understand you no matter how silent or how loud you were. Maybe that’s why you loved him, you couldn’t be sure. There were so many things you loved about him–gosh you loved him. The revelation was like a wish from a birthday candle being answered.

You stepped away and Spencer watched as you pushed through the crowd. Hotch and the others surrounded him, questioning stares ever-present. “We should give her some time,” he said after seeing you hesitate, then sit near the makeshift headstone.

“What’s she doing?” Penelope frowned, watching you shift in your spot on the wet grass.

“Saying goodbye,” Spencer was the only one to respond–he was also the last one to retreat.

You didn’t know how to begin, you hadn’t spoken to him in eight years. You were scared that he was angry at you, but then again, you knew that couldn’t be the case, yes you knew he was gone, but what if his spirit was still here? What if he couldn’t move on because he had unfinished business and it was your fault?

You stopped yourself, since when did you believe in superstition? That was your parents…and Rossi; not you.

You sighed, running your hand through the grass, deciding to start as if he were still there, trying not to sound too guilty.

Nonno, you began, I–I’m sorry, you shook your head, I know, I know I should have visited. I know– a single tear fell down your cheek and you paused to wipe it away, shocked by your own emotions. “Forgive me,” you whispered.

“You sound like a crazy person,” you jerked your head to the side, eyes landing on your grandmother.

You huffed, eyes narrowing as you sniffled and wiped another tear that had fallen. “You’re one to talk.”

Your grandmother shifted, as if uncomfortable, and then she moved forward, more brittle than you had noticed the first time. “I’m not going to sit down,” she said after a moment, “don’t let my looks full you, I’m not how I once was.” She grunted as she stood beside you.

“Yeah, well, your looks aren’t fooling anyone, so.”

“Ouch,” she laughed, but it sounded like a wenches cackle. “Oh nipotina*,” she clicked her tongue and shook her head, a complacent smile making its way onto her wrinkled face.

You sat in silence, comfortable or not, you were glad she had stopped talking, you didn’t know what to say to her. In your opinion, you had never really gotten along with your grandmother, this wasn’t reconnecting with your parents or sisters or even your zia* and zio*, this was…new territory altogether.

You frowned, “listen, child,” and you did, you perked up, you could listen to her talk, that would be easy, you just hoped she didn't expect a response. “Your grandfather loved you, he never stopped talking about you.” You smiled, but then it faltered. You had abandoned him, hadn’t even deigned to visit because of how guilty you’d felt…

“He knew,” you whispered, heart racing. 

You heard your grandmother sigh. “I thought as much,” she frowned, staring at her husband's grave as if she could bring him back by will alone. 

“You did?” You hadn’t left without saying goodbye, not to him at least, that was one thing everyone had gotten wrong, your grandmother knowing had never occurred to you because you were sure your grandfather kept it a secret. Why else would the entire family have blown up when they’d realized you had left? When they’d realized it was too late to stop or convince you otherwise–because by the time everyone else had found out, you were halfway across the North Atlantic already.

“I always thought it was strange how he never said anything about it.” A grim smile tugged her at her red-painted lips.

“Nonna*, did I make the right decision?” You asked, surprising even yourself.

She sighed and you thought she might say ‘I can’t tell you if it was right or wrong’ or something a normal grandmother would say, but your grandmother wasn’t normal, she was an old bat, probably the same one you’d turn into at her age and she said, “You’re damned right you were wrong.”

Your mouth dropped, taken aback, and then you burst into laughter, throwing your head back as you tried wiping your tears, “oh you’re such an old bat,” you sighed.

“I knew you always called me that behind my back,” she harumphed, jerking her head away and crossing her arms like a child.

“Oh come now, Nonna*,” you stood and reached out the touch her shoulder.

She huffed and dropped her arms, eyes darting around your face in what seemed to be concern. “You were wrong for not telling the rest of us, you had your parents worried sick, and your sister too.” Her frown deepened, “even me.”

You nodded, “I know, but nonna*,” you sighed, wanting to explain yourself, but she held up a hand. You raised a brow, almost saying huh, so that’s where I get it from, out loud.

“Your grandfather always said you were meant for something greater, that your heart wouldn’t allow you to stay in this town the way ours allowed the rest of us.

“No, no nipotina*, you were not wrong for leaving. This town, this family? Yes, you come from here, but there,” she nodded her head toward your co-workers, (or friends, you were honestly still deciding), “with them, that is where you belong now.”

You smiled, finding acceptance in her answer.

“And your friend,” she rolled her eyes when she said it, “well, I expect the wedding to be here.”

You huffed a laugh before turning, catching Specner’s eye, and when he waved your heart swelled. “We’ll see,” you started walking away.

Your grandmother trailed after you, throwing her hands up and shouting, “incovalato*! You insolent child!”

a/n: ahhh i can't wait to write my next fic because i already know waht it is. i don't want to give spoilers, but just know you're going to see dad!spencer !!

@darkmatilda @theylovemelody