#{ but not only that but i couldn't find the right lyrics or vibes for their particular dynamic 😩}

[mcltiples]

Send ❤🎶 for a mini playlist for our muses~ || accepting

@countlessrealities sent; ❤🎶 [[ Alastor & Vox ]]

Only You - The Pretty Reckless

Oh boy, have you seen my head? / I've lost my mind so I forget / Oh boy, have you seen my heart? / It's beating so loud, I'm falling apart and- / Only you can bring me back to life / Only you can put me into right / Tell me when I can breathe again

Mine - Halestorm

I will wear you down / I will break your crown / Because it's mine / Mine, all mine / I will scream your name / I'll make your body shake / Because it's mine / Mine, all mine

Chemical Love - Escape The Fate

Addicted to the way we hurt / Can't breathe for the life of me / I'm drowning in your eyes / I must be under a spell / You've got me hypnotized / 'Cause they'll be running away / But there's nowhere to hide / Always on my mind

Last Dance - Butcher Babies

So light a candle for me / Let it burn slowly / This is our chance / Give me one last dance / And I'm coming home, I'm coming home / Under the pale moon / You look just like you used to / This is our chance / Give me one last dance / And I'm coming home, I'm coming home

[03jyh23]

🌏⌇atlas┆song mingi

│part of goes to waste the series based on my favourite keshi songs

│listen here

rapper!mingi x non-celebrity!reader

│synopsis: in the heart of bustling seoul, you and mingi shared a luxurious penthouse apartment. despite the grandeur, loneliness consumed you as mingi's skyrocketing fame distanced him from the loving boyfriend you once knew.

│genre: lovers to strangers, angst

│trigger warnings:  heartbreak (obviously), mature language, mention of past trauma and pain

│words: 8.9 k

│playlist: empty box an album by song mingi, tracklist: after hours, too late, killing me (english), wait, paranoid, drunk, lonely heart, empty box (english)

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! finally, here's the next part of goes to waste series. i had to take some time off after publishing 2soon (check it if you haven't yet), which was a truly personal piece, but now i'm back! atlas is very loosely inspired by the song; it's more about the vibe the song gave me than the actual lyrics. i also changed the original synopsis quite a bit because i honestly didn't feel like sticking with the first version. same as with 2soon, i spent some time creating a playlist, and if you do decide to listen, i hope you enjoy the songs i've chosen. oh! and if you read through my small author notes, then you're lucky because i can finally reveal that both the reaper (jongho) and right here (yeosang) will be published as a mini-series (but only after finishing finding our way back)!

love, monika ♡

i’d be so grateful for a little love – a tagged reblog or comment would truly make my day!

│taglist: @skittyneos │@kyeos4ng │ @vcutparis │@hoeforalbedo

You were sitting on a bed in the bedroom you shared with Mingi in your very own luxurious penthouse apartment in the bustling center of Seoul. It hasn't been long since you moved in here, but the vastness and elegance of the place made you feel even lonelier than ever. Mingi was out, performing at a sold-out arena show, and the glaring reality was that you weren't there to support him. It wasn't that you didn't want to attend; the painful truth was that he simply forgot to invite you—his girlfriend of the last 4 years, someone who had stood by his side through thick and thin. You looked at the floor, your eyes catching the sight of your suitcases and bags packed meticulously with your belongings, ready to move out of this once cherished home. The thing was, you couldn't quite leave without seeing Mingi one last time. Your heart ached at the thought of parting without a final goodbye, and it didn't let you go. You didn't know life without Mingi, and the prospect left you shit scared. The very thought of navigating through your days without his presence was enough to send shivers down your spine. However, you couldn't pretend any longer that Mingi hasn't changed. The boy you once fell in love with, who was caring, attentive, and always made you feel like the center of his universe, seemed to have vanished. In his place was someone distant, preoccupied, and seemingly indifferent to your feelings. You tried to rationalize his behavior, blaming it on the stress of his career and the constant pressure he was under, but deep down, you knew it was more than that. The connection you once shared felt like a distant memory, and the reality of who he had become was impossible to ignore. 

It all started not even a year ago. Mingi's song went viral on the internet, and he gained a massive following in a span of three days. From being an independent artist playing in clubs for maybe a couple of hundred fans, he went straight to signing a contract with a major company, making huge checks and selling out arenas in a span of minutes. The transformation was almost surreal. One day, you were cheering him on from small, dimly lit venues where you could see the sweat on his brow and the fire in his eyes as he performed. The next, he was being whisked away to luxurious studios and high-profile meetings with industry moguls. It felt like you were living in a dream—or a nightmare, depending on the moment. Suddenly, the simplicity of your shared life was replaced by a whirlwind of glitz and glamour. Mingi's phone never stopped buzzing with calls, texts, and notifications. Invitations to exclusive parties, collaborations with big names, and interviews with top media outlets flooded in. While his career skyrocketed, your relationship seemed to plummet into an abyss of neglect and misunderstanding. As he became more entrenched in his new world, you noticed changes in him. The boy who once couldn't wait to spend a quiet night in, watching movies with you was now constantly on the go, his calendar filled with events that didn't include you. The intimate conversations you used to have, were replaced by strained, hurried phone calls and text messages that felt more like obligations than genuine connections. Despite your best efforts to be supportive and understanding, the growing distance between you became an insurmountable chasm. Mingi's success had come at a steep price, and it felt like you were the one paying for it. The man you had known and loved for years was slowly slipping away, replaced by someone who seemed more like a stranger with each passing day. 

The night was getting later, and there was still no sign of Mingi. Maybe he wasn't planning to come back today; maybe he was too busy with his new rapper friends to even care to come back. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment and frustration. You glanced at your phone, hoping for a message or a missed call, but there was nothing. Well, it wouldn't be the first time he had left you waiting, feeling like an afterthought in his increasingly busy life. You tried to occupy yourself, turning on the TV and flipping through channels, but nothing could distract you. The boy who once couldn't stand to be away from you was now someone who seemed to have forgotten you existed.  

With every passing minute, the reality of your situation became clearer. Mingi might not come back tonight, tomorrow, or even the day after that. He was out there, living his life, while you were stuck in a place that no longer felt like home. You still vividly remember your first day in this apartment; it was a momentous occasion. Mingi had received his significant check from the tour ticket sales, as well as the royalties, just a week passed since, and you were moving into the luxurious space. The excitement and anticipation were palpable as you both looked forward to starting this new chapter in your lives together. You left your one-bedroom apartment with a tingle of sadness, each corner filled with cherished memories of the life you had built together. However, the excitement and anticipation of creating a new home in a spacious, luxurious penthouse overshadowed any melancholy you felt. You both dreamed of this moment, envisioning a future filled with endless possibilities and new adventures. The thought of decorating the new place, hosting friends, and building new memories brought a sense of joy and hope. It was a new chapter, a fresh start, and despite the nostalgia for your old apartment, the promise of what lay ahead made the transition feel like the beginning of something wonderful. So, you never thought you would be leaving this place like this. Heartbroken. The walls that once echoed with laughter and joy now felt cold and distant. Every corner of the penthouse, which had been a symbol of Mingi’s dreams and aspirations, now seemed to mock your pain. The spacious rooms that once brought a sense of freedom now felt like a labyrinth of sorrow. You recalled the countless evenings spent planning your future together, the whispered promises of forever, and the dreams you had woven into the very fabric of this home. Now, those dreams lay shattered, scattered like fragile pieces of glass. The weight of your decision to leave pressed heavily on your chest, making it difficult to breathe. You never imagined that the place which once brought you so much happiness would be the same place you'd have to walk away from. 

You promised yourself you wouldn't wait longer than 3 AM, and as the hour approached, you picked up all your belongings and took them to the hallway. Each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of your decision sinking in deeper with every passing second. You glanced once again across the apartment, taking in the memories etched into every corner of the space that once felt like a loving home. With a heavy heart, you left your keys on the kitchen counter. As you put your shoes on, you paused for a moment, feeling the finality of your actions. You were ready to turn off the lights and walk out of the door, the silence of the apartment echoing your own sense of abandonment. Just as you reached for the switch, the doors opened with a soft creak that seemed to reverberate through the entire space. 

There stood Mingi, his face pale and eyes wide with a mixture of shock and disbelief, as if he had seen a ghost. His presence, so unexpected and surreal in that moment, made your heart skip a beat. The silence between you was deafening, filled with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions. For a split second, neither of you moved, as if frozen in time. 

"What is going on?" he asked, his eyes finding your gaze as he swallowed hard. 

You took a deep breath, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I can't do this anymore," you replied, your voice trembling. 

His expression shifted from confusion to concern. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?" 

"I mean us, Mingi. I'm not even a part of your life anymore," you said, tears welling up in your eyes. "I packed my bags. I'm leaving." 

Mingi's eyes widened in shock, and he took a step closer. "Leaving? No baby, you can't just leave." 

You shook your head, feeling the weight of the decision pressing down on you. "I deserve more than this. I'm done. We're done," you said, almost out of breath, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and sorrow. 

Mingi's face contorted with emotion, his eyes pleading as he reached out to you. "Please, let's talk about this," he said, desperation lacing his voice. 

You looked at him, your heart breaking all over again. "It's too late, Mingi," you responded, trying to keep your resolve strong even as tears streamed down your face. "I'm so sick of pretending everything's alright, that you haven't changed," you continued, your frustration bubbling to the surface. 

Mingi stepped closer, his hands reaching for yours, desperation evident in his voice. "What are you talking about? I'm still the same, I’m still your boyfriend who would do anything for you." 

You took a deep breath, your voice trembling as you confronted him. "Are you even aware my birthday was a week ago and you haven't showed up to the party?" 

Mingi's face fell, a look of guilt and realization washing over him. "I... I didn't know. I'm so sorry," he stammered, but the damage was already done. 

"So no, Mingi, you are not the same. My boyfriend would show up to my birthday party, hell he would organize it himself. And you know what you did that night? You were sitting in a fucking club with your fellow rappers doing God knows what," you spat, the pain in your words cutting through the air. "My boyfriend loved me, he wanted to spend time with me, he cherished me, he would never leave without kissing me and telling me he loves me," you said, your voice cracking. "You are not him." 

Mingi's shoulders slumped, the weight of his actions finally seeming to hit him. "I messed up. I know I did, and I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking. 

‘’Sorry is not enough,’ you took a deep breath, your eyes filling with tears. "I'm so sick and tired of justifying your shitty behavior in front of my parents, our friends, and most definitely myself. Every time they ask me where you are or why you're not around, I must come up with excuses. It's exhausting, and honestly, I'm tired of lying for you." 

Mingi's eyes filled with tears, his voice breaking as he whispered, "I never wanted to let you down. I know I've been distant, but I never stopped loving you." 

You shook your head, "You don’t love me, Mingi. Actions speak louder than words, and your actions have clearly shown me where I stand in your life. When was the last time you took me out, huh? When was the last time you asked me how I was doing? When was the last time you made love to me, not just fucked me after your show, huh?" you demanded, each question hitting him like a blow. 

Mingi's face crumpled as he absorbed your words. "I didn't realize... I thought you understood how busy I've been," he mumbled, his voice tinged with regret. 

"Busy? We all have busy lives. But love means making time, no matter what," you said, wiping away your tears. "I can't keep waiting for you to remember that." 

Mingi's tears began to flow freely, his voice barely a whisper. "Please, don't go. I promise I'll change, I'll make things right," he pleaded, but you could see the doubt in his eyes. 

"Since you went viral, you haven't even taken me to your shows, to the afterparties. I don't know your new friends. Do they know about me?" you asked, your voice rising with each word. Mingi's hesitation spoke volumes, and you felt another crack in your already shattered heart. "That's what I thought," you murmured, more to yourself than to him. "If they don't know about me, then maybe you don't want them to. Maybe that's why it's easier for you to forget I exist." 

Mingi's eyes widened, realization dawning on him. "No, it's not like that," he tried to argue, but the conviction in his voice was gone. The silence between you grew heavier, filled with all the things left unsaid over the past months. 

"Tell me honestly, now. You're rapping about fucking bitches and maybe that's really what you're doing in those clubs, huh?" you spat, the accusation hanging heavily in the air. 

Mingi's face paled, his eyes wide with shock and hurt. "How could you even accuse me of that?" he asked, his voice trembling with a mixture of anger and pain. "I would never do something like that to you. You mean everything to me." he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. He took a step closer, desperation in his eyes. "I swear, it's not what you think. Those lyrics, they're just part of the persona. They don't mean anything." 

You let out a bitter laugh, the sound echoing through the silent apartment. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? That it's all just an act? Because it doesn't. It just makes me feel like I don't even know who you are anymore," you retorted, your voice trembling with emotion. "You spend all your time with these people, living this life that I'm not a part of. How am I supposed to believe you when you say it's not real?" 

Mingi's shoulders slumped, the weight of your words pressing down on him. "I know I've made mistakes. I know I've been distant, but I never wanted to hurt you. I thought you understood how much pressure I'm under," he said, his voice cracking. 

"Being under pressure doesn't give you the right to treat me like I don't matter," you shot back, wiping away the tears from your rosy cheeks. "You used to make me feel like I was the most important person in the world. Now, I feel like I'm just another obligation, something you can push aside when it suits you." 

Mingi's eyes lit up with a sudden realization. "Please give me a moment, I know what will make you stay," he said, his voice filled with a newfound sense of urgency. Before you could respond, he turned and rushed towards the bedroom. You stood there, your heart pounding in your chest as you listened to the sounds of Mingi frantically ruffling through drawers and opening cabinets. The noise grew louder, punctuated by the occasional clatter of objects being moved aside. After what felt like an eternity, Mingi emerged from the bedroom, his face flushed and his breath heavy. Clutched tightly in his hand was a small, elegant box. He walked towards you, his eyes never leaving yours, and with shaking hands, he opened the box to reveal a stunning, custom-made Tiffany engagement ring. 

"This... this is what I was waiting for," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "I wanted everything to be perfect before I asked you. I know I've messed up, but please, give me one more chance. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Tears welled up in his eyes as he held the ring out to you, his entire being pleading for forgiveness and another chance. You stared at the ring, the weight of the moment pressing down on you as you tried to process everything. Mingi took a deep breath and then, in one fluid motion, he dropped to one knee, holding the ring up towards you. His eyes were filled with desperation and hope, the tears streaming down his face reflecting the sincerity of his words. "Y/N please, marry me," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I know I've been distant, and I know I've hurt you, but I want to make it right. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, showing you how much you mean to me. Please, give me another chance." You stood there, your heart pounding in your chest as you looked down at Mingi, the man you had loved for so long, now kneeling before you with a ring in his hand. The future you have always dreamed of was right there in front of you, and you cried harder at the sight. The ring, a symbol of the life you had envisioned together, glittered in the dim light of the penthouse. It was everything you had ever wanted, yet the weight of the disappointments and heartbreaks made it difficult to embrace. The tears streamed down your face, mixing with the raw emotions that had been building up inside you. You couldn't help but think of all the broken promises, the lonely nights, and the feeling of being forgotten. The ring was beautiful, but it couldn't erase the pain that had accumulated over time. 

Mingi kneeled there in front of you, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and desperation, waiting for your response."Now we have enough money to book the beach venue you dreamed of," Mingi started, trying to control his own tears. "I will order you a custom dress from the designer you told me about, inspired by the Disney princess you loved since you were little," he added, his voice trembling with desperation. "And we will go to Belize for our honeymoon," he continued, his words coming out in a rush. "We will rent a whole house by the beach, just like you always wanted. Every morning, we'll wake up to the sound of the waves, and every night, we'll fall asleep under the stars. There won't be a single day when I won't prove to you how much I love you," Mingi's voice cracked, his eyes pleading. "Please, give me another chance. Please marry me. I promise I'll be the man you fell in love with, the one who would move heaven and earth just to see you smile. We’ll make new memories, beautiful ones that will overshadow all the pain I’ve put you through. I swear, I'll spend every moment making it up to you, showing you that my love is real and unwavering. So please, please say yes." The image he painted was truly everything you ever wanted, the plans you made together on countless nights, dreaming of a future filled with love and happiness. The beach venue, the custom dress, the honeymoon in Belize—all of it was exactly what you had envisioned. It was as if he had taken every whispered wish, every secret hope, and turned them into a tangible reality. His words, filled with desperation and promise, tugged at your heartstrings, making you yearn for the life you had once believed was possible. The thought of waking up to the sound of waves, falling asleep under the stars, and creating new, beautiful memories was almost too tempting to resist. In that moment, you saw a glimpse of the life you had always wanted. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as you tried to steady your racing heart. The weight of the moment felt almost suffocating, but you knew you had to make a choice. When you opened your eyes again, you looked at Mingi, your voice barely above a whisper, 

"I can't," you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. The words felt like shards of glass slicing through the air. You saw the hope in Mingi's eyes flicker and fade, replaced by a look of utter devastation. His shoulders slumped as he dropped completely to the floor, the ring slipping from his grasp and falling to the floor with a loud echo. You heard him cry out in agony, and it broke your heart all over again, shattering it completely. For a moment, the silence was deafening, filled only with the sound of your ragged breaths and Mingi's soft sobs. You stood there, frozen, the weight of your decision pressing down on you like a physical force. Every fiber of your being wanted to rush to him, to take back the words and make everything alright, but you knew deep down that it was too late. 

Mingi's tears flowed freely now, his face a portrait of anguish. "Please, don't go," he pleaded, his voice raw with desperation. "I need you. I don't know what I'll do without you." 

"I'm so sorry, Mingi," you said, your voice trembling as you took a step back. "I wish things could be different, but I can't keep living like this." 

Mingi looked up at you, his eyes red and swollen with tears. "Please, don't leave me," he pleaded, his voice cracking with desperation. "I can't lose you. I'll do anything to make it right, I swear." 

You shook your head, "It's not about what you can do, Mingi. It's about what you haven't done." With a heavy heart, you turned towards the door, picking up your bags. Each step felt like a thousand, the weight of your decision making it almost unbearable to move. As you reached the door, you paused, looking back at Mingi one last time. The sight of him, broken and pleading, was almost too much to bear. "Goodbye, Mingi," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I hope you come across something more than better, something that brings you true happiness and fulfillment. And I’m so sorry it’s not me." With those final words, you turned the knob and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door softly behind you. The echo of the door click reverberated through the empty penthouse, a stark reminder of what you were leaving behind. 

eight months later

It was a Saturday evening, and you were lying in your bed, scrolling through TV channels because apparently your best friend forgot to pay for your Netflix subscription. These past months, you were figuring your life out from the base. With your breakup, everything changed. You were now living in a small apartment, shared with two of your friends to make the rent cheaper. You hadn't saved up much while being with Mingi, mainly taking part-time jobs to be available whenever Mingi needed your help with his career—booking a venue, simply helping around with scanning tickets or delivering merch. You used to spend your days running errands and managing small tasks that kept his career afloat, and in return, he assured you that you didn't need to worry about your own income. Then, when the money came, he simply wouldn’t let you work, claiming what was his was yours, and he had more than enough. His generosity was comforting, but it also left you unprepared for the financial independence you now had to face. So apart from dealing with the heartbreak, you’ve also been struggling a bit with a reality without him. 

Now, as you lay in your small bedroom, you couldn't help but reflect on how drastically your life had shifted. The luxurious apartment you once shared with Mingi was now a distant memory, replaced by this compact space that you now called home. It was filled with laughter and companionship from your two friends, but it also served as a constant reminder of Mingi’s absence. 

The breakup had not only shattered your heart but also forced you to reevaluate your priorities and rebuild your life from scratch. Every day was a struggle to find your footing, to rediscover who you were without Mingi, and to carve out a path for yourself. Despite the challenges, you were slowly learning to embrace this new reality, one step at a time. 

After a long search, you finally stumbled upon a music award show where a band you liked was performing, and you found yourself intrigued. A few other performances passed; the MC announced they would reveal the winner for the Album of the Year in the rap category. Despite trying to ignore all updates about Mingi, you knew he had released a new album earlier this year, so seeing him being nominated didn’t surprise you. You couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions as his name was mentioned. You saw him through your TV screen, his hair now cut short and dyed a vibrant pink, a stark contrast to his previous look. His nose was pierced, and you must admit it made him look even hotter. He was wearing a sleek black blazer with nothing underneath, the simplicity of his outfit highlighting his confidence. He looked absolutely gorgeous, his features as handsome as ever, capturing your attention completely. You couldn’t help but smile, a wave of nostalgia and admiration washing over you. Your heart began to beat faster with the excitement and joy of seeing him again. 

And of course, Mingi won. You didn’t know exactly why, but you couldn’t help yourself—you clapped your hands enthusiastically. You were so incredibly proud of him and his achievement. With a wide smile on his face, he stood up from his seat, took a deep breath, and confidently hopped on stage. He walked over to the microphone, adjusted it to his height, and paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "Thank you, everyone," Mingi began, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "This album means the world to me, and it wouldn't have been possible without the incredible team behind me and the fans who have supported me through everything." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I want to dedicate this award to someone very special to me, someone who was with me since my early days." Mingi's words hung in the air, and you felt a lump form in your throat. You knew he was talking about you. The memories of your time together, the sacrifices you made, and the dreams you shared all came rushing back. Despite the pain and heartbreak, a part of you was deeply touched by his acknowledgment. He continued, "I know I've made mistakes, and I've hurt the only person I have ever loved. But this album represents a journey of growth and redemption. It's about learning from those mistakes and becoming a better person." The audience applauded, but your mind was elsewhere, lost in the whirlwind of emotions Mingi's speech had stirred within you. You couldn't help but wonder if he truly had changed, if he had finally realized the impact of his actions. As the applause died down, Mingi took a step back, holding the award close to his chest. He looked directly into the camera, his eyes seemingly searching for yours through the screen. "You know," Mingi continues, "this special person told me that since I gained popularity, I’ve been only rapping about fucking bitches, and she hated that." Mingi smiled and looked at the award in his hands. "So, with this album, I came back to my roots, to lyrics that truly mattered and reflect who I am." As the applause echoed around him, Mingi took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words and the emotions they carried. He remembered the countless nights he spent writing, the struggles he faced, and the moments of doubt. "I don’t know where she’s at now, what she’s doing," he paused, running a hand through his hair, his eyes filled with regret "I wanted to be a man and respect her decision to leave me, so I never reached out." His voice cracked, the weight of his words sinking in "Because the truth is she deserves way better than me." He swallowed hard, his eyes glistening with unshed tears "I don’t even know if this will reach her, but if it does, I just want her to know that I still, very much love her." A tear finally escaped, rolling down his cheek "And that life without her is shit." He took a deep breath, his voice barely a whisper. He glanced around, seeing familiar faces of fellow artists and friends who knew his story then he looked straight at the camera. "So, to my ex, to the one I prayed to end up with, thank you for breaking my heart. This one is for you." He raised his award and bowed. As he left the stage, you couldn't help but feel a surge of mixed emotions. The love you once shared was still there, buried beneath the pain and heartbreak, but his words made you wonder if there might still be a chance for redemption and healing. You sat there, stunned and overwhelmed, tears streaming down your face. The raw emotion in Mingi's speech had reopened old wounds, but it also made you question if there was a possibility for a new beginning. 

Too caught up in your thoughts, you didn't notice when the cameras started to broadcast live from backstage. An elegant reporter, dressed in a chic green dress, stood waiting with a microphone in hand. Her eyes sparkled with anticipation as she spotted Mingi approaching, clutching his award tightly. She greeted him with a warm smile and a nod, gesturing for him to join her on a plush, cream-colored couch set up for the interview. As Mingi took his seat next to her, the reporter's smile widened. "Congratulations, Mingi, on your incredible win tonight!" she began, her voice smooth and professional. "How does it feel to take home the Album of the Year award?" 

Mingi took a deep breath, trying to steady his emotions. "It feels surreal," he admitted, his voice slightly hoarse from the whirlwind of emotions he had experienced on stage. "This album was a labor of love and a journey of self-discovery. Winning this award means the world to me." 

The reporter nodded; her expression empathetic. "You've mentioned that this album, Empty Box, holds a lot of personal significance. Can you tell us more about the inspiration behind it?" 

"The title of the album, Empty Box, symbolizes a metaphorical space where I have placed all the love I couldn’t give, oh god I hate to call her that but, to my ex-girlfriend." Mingi's eyes welled up with tears, and he swallowed hard. "It encompasses not just the love, but also our unfulfilled dreams, the cherished memories we created together, and the mistakes we made along the way." He paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts, his emotions visibly overwhelming him. This album reflects my journey, regrets, and lessons I've learned. Each song is a chapter of that story, a piece of my heart that I hope resonates with those who listen." He took a deep breath, his voice cracking as he continued, "I wanted to create something that speaks to the pain of losing someone you love, the guilt of not being able to give them what they deserve, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, we can all find a way to heal from our past mistakes." Mingi's eyes were filled with a mix of sorrow and determination as he spoke, his words carrying the weight of his emotions. He looked directly into the camera, his eyes searching for a connection with those who might be watching. "To anyone out there who feels like they've messed up, like they've lost their way, I want you to know that you're not alone. We all make mistakes, we all have regrets, but that doesn't mean we can't find a way to move forward. This album is my way of reaching out, of saying that it's okay to feel broken, it's okay to struggle, but it's also okay to hope for a better tomorrow." 

The reporter nodded, her eyes reflecting the depth of Mingi's words. "Thank you for sharing such a personal journey with us, Mingi. Your honesty and vulnerability are truly inspiring." She paused for a moment, letting his words resonate with the audience. "What's next for you? Are there any upcoming projects or plans you'd like to share?" 

Mingi took a deep breath, a small smile breaking through his tear-streaked face. "Right now, I just want to take some time to reflect and reconnect with myself. But I promise, there's more music to come, and I hope to continue growing both as an artist and as a person." 

The reporter's eyes sparkled with curiosity as she leaned in slightly. "Is this album some type of closure for you? Are you ready to go out there and find love again? I bet there's plenty of girls, or guys who would die to have a chance with you." 

Mingi took a moment to reflect, his eyes distant. "In many ways, this album has been therapeutic for me. It's allowed me to process my emotions and come to terms with my past. As for finding love again, I think it's important for me to focus on healing and personal growth first. Love is a beautiful thing, but it requires a strong foundation." 

The reporter nodded, her smile warm and understanding. "Thank you for your honesty, Mingi. Your journey is truly inspiring, and I'm sure your fans appreciate your openness." 

Mingi smiled back, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Thank you. I'm grateful for the support." With that, the interview concluded, and Mingi stood up, shaking the reporter's hand before walking away. As the camera panned out, you turned off the TV, your mind racing with thoughts and emotions. And you knew you needed to see him again. You've been staying strong since you left him, but now, the wall crashed down and you couldn't stop your racing heart, you couldn't prioritize your mind screaming at you not to do it. The memories of your time together flooded back with an overwhelming force, each one more vivid than the last. The late-night conversations, the shared dreams, the laughter, and even the fights—they all played in your mind like an old movie reel. Despite the pain and the heartbreak, you couldn't deny the love you still felt for him, a love that had been buried but never truly extinguished. Your emotions were a tangled mess, a mix of longing, fear, hope, and regret. You thought about the life you once envisioned with him, the future that seemed so bright and full of promise. Would it still be possible? Could you find a way to rebuild what was broken, to heal the wounds that had festered for so long? As you sat there, your heart pounding in your chest, you knew that you couldn't ignore these feelings. It was as if something was pushing you towards him, giving you a nudge to take a step towards reconciliation. The thought of seeing him again both terrified and excited you, but you knew that you had to follow your heart. With trembling hands, you picked up your phone and stared at the screen, your mind racing with a thousand thoughts. Should you call him? Text him? Show up at his door? You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, and made your decision. You were going to see him. 

You run to your closet, your heart racing with anticipation and anxiety. You put on a hoodie as the autumn air was getting colder, layered a denim jacket on top for extra warmth, and decided to go. Living on the opposite side of the city now, getting to Mingi's place would take more than an hour, but you didn't mind the long journey. As you left your room, one of your roommates looked at you, her eyes filled with curiosity. 

"So, I guess you heard the speech?" she asked, a knowing smile playing on her lips. You could feel the pride welling up inside you, making you even more determined to reach Mingi and share your feelings with him. 

"Yeah, I did," you replied, your voice trembling with emotion. "I need to see him." 

"Honey, I know you want to, but don't forget why you left him in the first place," she said gently, her eyes filled with concern. "You were heartbroken and exhausted. It took so much strength for you to walk away and start rebuilding your life." She paused, her expression softening. "I understand that his speech stirred up a lot of emotions, but please, think carefully about this. Remember all the nights you cried yourself to sleep, all the broken promises. Just don't lose sight of why you made the decision to leave. You deserve to be happy and to find someone who truly values and respects you." 

You nodded, taking her words to heart. "I know, and I won't forget. But I need to know if things can be different now. It's just, I am so proud of him, and I just wish he knew that" you whispered to your roommate, your voice filled with a mix of hope and determination. Your roommate, who had been silently listening, came closer, her eyes reflecting concern and empathy. "I know we've been through so much, and the pain was unbearable at times. But seeing him up there, pouring his heart out, made me realize that a part of me still cares deeply for him. I can't ignore these feelings. I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep, feeling hurt and abandoned, but maybe he's changed. Maybe he's truly learned from his mistakes. I need to see for myself if there's a chance for us to rebuild what we once had, to heal together and find a way back to each other." 

Your friend reached out, gently squeezing your hand, her touch offering a silent reassurance. Her eyes softened as she spoke, "I understand why you feel this way. It's not easy to let go of someone you love, especially when there's still a part of you that believes in him. But you need to be sure that he's really changed, that he's willing to put in the effort to make things right this time." 

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I just wish he understood that despite everything, I don't hold any grudges. I want him to know that I forgive him and that I'm willing to give him another chance if he's ready to make things right." Your voice trembled slightly, the weight of your emotions making it difficult to speak. 

Your roommate gave you a warm, encouraging smile. "You have a big heart, and it's clear that you still care about him deeply. Just make sure you protect yourself too. If he's really changed, he'll show you through his actions, not just words. Take it one step at a time and trust your instincts. You deserve to be happy, and if giving him another chance feels right to you, then follow your heart." Her words offered a sense of comfort and clarity, helping to ease the turmoil inside you. You took a deep breath, feeling a renewed sense of hope. 

"Thank you," you said, your voice filled with gratitude. "I need to do this for myself, to know if there's still a chance for us." With that, you hugged your best friend and stepped out into the autumn night. 

The journey to Mingi's place felt like an eternity, each passing moment filled with a mixture of anticipation and fear. As the bus drew closer to his building, you couldn't help but feel a surge of doubt. What if this was a mistake? What if you were setting yourself up for more heartache? But the memory of Mingi's heartfelt speech and the love you still felt for him pushed you forward. 

When you finally arrived, you stood outside his door, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. With a trembling hand, you knocked, the sound echoing through the hallway. To your surprise, the door is opened by an elderly man, dressed in an elegant suit. His eyes widen in surprise as he sees you standing there. "Good evening, sir," you say hesitantly, trying to mask your confusion. "I’m sorry for the late visit but I'm here to see Mingi. Is he already back?" The man's expression shifts from surprise to bewilderment. 

"I'm sorry," he replies, his voice carrying a hint of confusion. "But I believe you have the wrong address. Nobody by the name of Mingi lives here." He looks at you sympathetically, as if trying to help you figure out your mistake. 

Your heart sank, and you felt a wave of confusion wash over you. "But this was his address," you murmured, feeling lost. 

The elderly man gave you a kind smile, "I moved in here few months ago, maybe he was a previous owner of this apartment?" 

Your heart sank even further as you realized that Mingi had moved. "Thank you," you said softly, turning away from the door, feeling a mix of disappointment and confusion. As you walked back to the bus stop, the doubt began to creep in again. Maybe meeting with him would be a mistake? The universe seemed to be throwing obstacles in your path, as if trying to tell you something. Perhaps it was a sign that some things are better left in the past, that moving forward meant leaving certain chapters closed. You couldn't help but think about all the reasons you left in the first place, the pain and the heartbreak that led you to this very moment. Was it worth reopening old wounds for a chance that things might be different? As you boarded the bus, you decided to give it one last shot, you took your phone out. You scrolled through your contacts and found Mingi's number, your finger hovering over the call button. Taking a deep breath, you pressed it and held the phone to your ear, your heart pounding as it began to ring. After a few moments, you heard a familiar message on the other end, "The number you have dialed no longer exists." 

The automated message echoed in your ear, a stark reminder of the distance that now separated you from Mingi. You pulled the phone away, staring at the screen in disbelief. How could it be? You had been so certain that reaching out to him was the right thing to do, but now, it felt like the universe was conspiring against you. You tried calling again, but the same message played, confirming that Mingi's number had indeed been disconnected. A sense of finality washed over you, making the reality of the situation sink in even deeper. It felt as if a door had been firmly closed, leaving you standing on the outside, unable to reach the person you once held so dear. As you sat back on the bus, the city lights blurring past the window, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Disappointment, sadness, and a lingering sense of what could have been. The memories of your time together replayed in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of the love you had lost. Deep down, you knew that this might be the universe's way of telling you to let go, to move forward with your life. With a heavy heart, you put your phone away and leaned back in your seat, taking a deep breath. As the bus continued its route, you gazed out at the city, the lights flickering like distant stars.  

six months later

You just started your shift; the day was going to be long and tiring. With holidays fast approaching, people were buzzing to buy new goods. You were working as a manager in one of the luxury shopping centers, a position that demanded a great deal of patience and resilience. The opulence of the surroundings was a stark contrast to the stress that came with the job. The elegant displays and high-end brands attracted a clientele that was demanding and often indifferent to the staff's efforts. Managing a team in such an environment was no small feat. You had to ensure that everything ran smoothly, from inventory management to customer service. The rich customers, with their endless requests and high expectations, often tested the limits of your endurance. They seemed to suck the life out of you, leaving you drained by the end of the day. Yet, you couldn't afford to show any signs of fatigue. Your role required you to maintain a calm and composed demeanor, addressing complaints with a smile and ensuring that every shopper left satisfied. The holiday season only amplified the challenges. The influx of customers meant longer hours and heightened pressure. Each day felt like a marathon, with waves of shoppers flooding in, eager to make their purchases. The store was a hive of activity, with sales associates rushing to assist customers, restock shelves, and manage transactions. Amidst the chaos, you had to keep a watchful eye, ready to step in whenever issues arose. 

You were on your way to the staff area to take a break for lunch, feeling exhausted from the busy morning shift. The holiday rush had turned the shopping center into a whirlwind of activity, and you were grateful for a brief break. Just as you were about to reach the staff area, one of your co-workers called out your name. You rolled your eyes, already anticipating another request or issue that needed your immediate attention. With a deep breath, you turned to face her, trying to mask your frustration with a polite smile. 

"I'm really sorry to bother you, but we have a situation that requires your expertise. There's a particularly demanding customer, and the supervisor has tried everything but just can't seem to handle it. She asked me to find you because we really need your help with this. Would you mind stepping in to assist? I know you're on your way to lunch, but it would mean a lot to us." 

You sighed internally, knowing that this was part of the job. "Alright, lead the way," you replied, forcing a reassuring smile. Following your co-worker, you mentally prepared yourself for yet another challenging interaction, hoping that it wouldn't take too long so you could finally enjoy your much-needed break. 

She led you to one of the private dressing rooms. From a distance, you could hear a female voice demanding something from her, you supposed, boyfriend. "Oh baby, what do you think about this one?" you heard as you approached the door. Your heart skipped a beat when you recognized the voice that responded—it was Mingi. You stopped in your tracks, your mind racing. The reality of seeing him again, and with someone new, hit you like a ton of bricks. But you took a deep breath, steadied yourself, and pushed forward, opening the door to the dressing room. Inside, you saw Mingi standing next to a woman who was examining herself in the mirror, holding up an elegant dress. The room was filled with an awkward tension as Mingi's eyes met yours. For a moment, time seemed to stand still, the memories of your past flooding back with a vivid intensity. 

Mingi's expression shifted from surprise to a mix of emotions—confusion, regret, and perhaps a hint of longing. The woman, oblivious to the charged atmosphere, continued to admire herself in the mirror, adjusting the dress and waiting for Mingi's opinion. 

You felt like the air was taken out of your lungs. He was here, standing before you, after so much time had passed. Memories of your time together flooded back, each one more vivid and overwhelming than the last. You had to swallow hard and clench your fist to keep the act up, to maintain your composure in front of him and his new girlfriend. The mix of emotions inside you—shock, longing, regret—threatened to break through, but you knew you had to stay professional. This was your job, your life now, and you couldn't let the past disrupt it. "Excuse me madam, I’m a manager here," you said, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside. "Is there anything I can assist you with?" 

"Oh yes, we've been looking forward to buying the limited-edition shoes from the new collection," she said, her eyes lighting up with excitement. 

You took a deep breath at her words, trying to maintain your professionalism. "I'm really sorry to inform you about this, as my coworker already told you, madam, the shoes I believe you are referring to are only available for special order." 

Her enthusiasm faltered slightly, replaced by a look of disappointment. "Special order? Is there any way we can place one now?" 

"Unfortunately, the special-order period for those shoes has already ended," you explained gently. "They were available for a limited time, and we are currently out of stock. However, we do have a selection of other exclusive items that might interest you." 

You caught Mingi's eyes boring into you, his face pale and expression frozen. He stood still, as if rooted to the spot, and he seemed to not even breathe. The intensity of his gaze sent a wave of emotions crashing over you, each one more overwhelming than the last. You felt your eyes watering, a rush of emotions threatening to spill over. You blinked quickly, trying to get rid of the tears and maintain your composure. This was neither the time nor the place to let your feelings show, but the sight of him, so close yet so distant, made it nearly impossible to hold back the tide of emotions. 

The girl in front of you sighed, clearly disheartened by the news. Mingi, sensing her disappointment, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's all right," he said softly. "Let's take a look at what else they have. I'm sure you can find something you'll love." 

She turned to you with a sharp expression, her tone shifting to one of impatience. "Do you even know who my boyfriend is?’’ 

You swallowed hard, forcing a polite smile despite the tension. "Yes, madam, I'm well aware. Please allow me to show you some other exclusive items that might catch your interest."  

"Baby, won't you do something about it?" She once again turned to Mingi, her voice carrying a hint of frustration, but his eyes never left yours, the unspoken words hanging heavily in the air between you. 

Mingi shifted uncomfortably, his eyes meeting his girlfriend for a brief moment before he turned to you again. "I'll see what I can do," he said softly, trying to soothe her. 

You took a deep breath, gathering your professionalism. "As I mentioned earlier, the special-order period has ended, and we are out of stock for the limited-edition shoes. However, if you'd like, I can take your contact information and notify you if any new limited editions become available in the future." 

The woman sighed, clearly not satisfied, but nodded reluctantly. "Fine, let's do that then." She handed you her information, and you quickly jotted it down, aware of Mingi's gaze still lingering on you. 

"Thank you for your understanding," you said, handing back her details. "Is there anything else I can assist you with today?" 

She shook her head, her disappointment evident. "No, that's all. Come on, baby, let's go." As they turned to leave, Mingi hesitated for a moment, his eyes locking with yours one last time. You could see the unspoken words and the regret in his gaze, you silently hoped he would say something, anything. You gave him a small, professional nod, and without a word, he turned away, following his girlfriend out of the dressing room. Once they were gone, you let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. 

You realized that the man you loved was no more. Instead, you met with someone who wore his face, who had his voice. Someone who was a stranger. The warmth that once radiated from his eyes was now replaced by an unfamiliar coldness. It was as if time had reshaped him into a different person, one that you could no longer recognize. The memories of your past seemed like a cruel illusion, a reminder of what once was and what could never be again. You realized with a heavy heart that the essence of the man you fell in love with had faded, leaving behind a mere shadow of who he used to be. 

Don't talk to strangers, they say, or you might fall in love. And when that love fades, those familiar faces turn into strangers once more. The irony of it all stung deeply. The very person who once knew you inside and out had become an enigma, a puzzle with pieces that no longer fit. As you watched him walk away, hand in hand with someone new, you couldn't help but feel a profound sense of loss. The man you once knew, the man you once loved, was gone. And in his place stood a stranger who bore his likeness but none of the familiarity. 

The journey of love had taken you full circle, bringing you back to a place of solitude and reflection. The lessons learned were etched deeply into your soul, a testament to the transient nature of relationships. You couldn't help but wonder if you would ever recognize that familiar face again, or if he would forever remain a stranger, a fleeting memory in the tapestry of your life. 

[doodle-girl]

The Monsters of Eastridge: DOAI Playlist

Description: At this point, might as well make a playlist for everything. Welcome to my own personal demon-filled hell, this is mostly based on lyrics, vibes, or both 🎃 (Edit: Due to recent fixations, this now also includes some Sitcom AU stuff.)

(Yeah this is made mostly for @spookmuth but also just anyone else who’s interested in my music taste/how my thoughts work. Will update the post whenever the playlist updates, have fun! Also footnotes will be in brackets because I like footnotes)

Edit: Now on spotify! Courtesy of @witheredallium <3

“Happy Face” by Jagwar Twin [I have had an animatic for this jangling around my brain for actual several months oh my god]

“Turn the Lights Off” by Tally Hall

“A1 - It’s just a burning memory” by The Caretaker [Yeah idk how well this actually fits since it’s based on a song from like. The 30s. But I think it’s obligatory for any analog horror ever lol]

"I Can't Decide" by The Scissor Sisters [This one I got inspo from havoc-bloom's playlist/clip of Pastra finding it. A few of these are, actually, lol] [Edit: I have now realized just how well this fits Clyde in the sitcom au and I am once again plagued by art ideas 👀]

"I'M Sane" by Axie [Me when I torture the innocent with horrid monsters and become one myself. but I'm a little silly about it teehee~ 😜]

"The Circus" by Toby Fox [This popped up on shuffle when I was drawing Clyde once and my brain refused to let go of the vibes™ ever since]

"Animal Cannibal (Possibly in Michigan)" by Buckshot Princess [I would've put the one by Karen Skladany but it's not on apple music 😔 sad. This cover's really nice tho]

"The Dismemberment Song" by Blue Kid [Same reasoning as "I'M Sane," nyehehe. Also this song really feels like it's ripped out of a musical number. If you told me it was I'd believe you.]

"The Mind Electric" by Miracle Musical

"Horror Show" by K-Modo [You ever just. Think about why Lankmann does the things he did? Like what's his game here?]

"Dance of Corpse (feat. Hatsune Miku)" by Kikuo [this might also spiral into an animatic lol. Anyway do me a solid and go look up the music video, turn on the official english subtitles and come back to me.]

"The Nowhere King" by The Centaurworld Cast

"Nothing Changes" by Jewelle Blackman, Yvette Gonzalez-Nacer, and Kay Trinidad [this musical makes me feel. so many things. And I just think the vibes/lyrics of "why try when you'll only end in misery" might fall into the category of vibes here idk idk]

"Murders" by Miracle Musical

"Kitchen Fork" by Jack Conte [I don't remember exactly why I put this here rn but I just know this is an Alex song. It's so beautifully haunting and passionate stg] [Edit: yeah definitely an Alex song]

"Meet Me in the Woods" by Lord Huron ['kay I know the vibes are probably off but look at the lyrics and tell me it shouldn't go here]

"A Crow's Trial" by Vane Lily [Look man I can’t explain this one exactly but just trust me on it]

"You're F****d" by Ylvis [Yeah I put this one here as a joke song. Every single character in here is SO doomed by the narrative, I'm sorry Alex but it's true. teehee~]

"UNCANNY / ft. KAFU" by kian [I actually couldn't find this one on apple music but galactinqq was right about this being an Alex song and I'm putting it on the post]

"Raising the Dead!" by Jessica Law [Styx, you madlad, this is SUCH a Lankmann song oh my god]

“Hymn for a Scarecrow” by Tally Hall [“Simon isn’t even in the series yet, though” My guy it’s called Hymn for a Scarecrow and it’s Tally Hall what else do you want me to do. I love Simon so much I miss him already <3]

“Break My Mind” by DAGames

“In the Mood” by Glenn Miller [this one was in Vol 1! So I found it and I’m putting it here <3]

“Pictures” by Kyle Allen Music [I mean technically the series is videos but whatever. This song fits sue me]

“Ruler of Everything” by Tally Hall [I saw the words “mechanical hands” on a DOAI fanart once and it jumpstarted an idea that refuses to leave me. Turns out it fits VERY well holy crap]

"I'll Be There for You (Theme from Friends)" by The Rembrandts [shoutout to froggydrawz's own sitcom AU playlist for more material for me eheheheh ✌️ I'll be putting a few of those here]

"I'm Still Standing" by Taron Egerton [sitcom exclusive because canon Alex is fucking dead /lh]

"Digital Silence" by Peter McPoland

"How Far We've Come" by Matchbox Twenty [another sitcom one nyehehehe. This AU has me by a chokehold unlike any other AU I've been into istg]

"Who is She (Reprise)" by Kimiko Glenn [I apologize for those who came here for a normie-ass DOAI playlist, I promise it started out that way but y'know that's fixations for ya. Anyways I added this one on a whim because it gave off veldigun!Alex AU vibes. Might fit with other stuff idk do with that what you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

"Soft Bitch" by Rio Romeo [pretty sure it was spookmuth that made a sitcom AU art inspired by this song and I love it]

"Runaway" by AURORA [secret-spirit if you see this at all just know this was your doing (/pos). This is like, my favorite AURORA song and seeing you do an Alex art in the whiteboard to this song sparked a primal "holy shit" moment in me]

"Lose Control" by Teddy Swims [I was doodling in the DOAI whiteboard when my mamá started playing this in the other room and my brain immediately went "oh my god what if Clyde and Winfrey"]

"Soft Apocalypse" by Charming Disaster [Once again, everybody give it up for Styx's music taste, this is making my brainworms go mad with art ideas 👏👏👏 sitcom AU song, btw]

Side note, might hit a word limit here? So Imma have to continue this list in a reblog, just look through those for more if ya want✌️

[helaelaemond]

REQUEST TIME Because of your beautiful, beautiful mind, this idea came up after reading your amazing Billy fic (Only worth living if somebody loving you).

How about a Billy who, as you showed, is turned on by taking care of his SO, but turned on so much that he cannot help but cum from this?

I know it'll be great, as the idea mostly came from you and the EYE CONTACT will break me.

thank you for this wonderful prompt, and for trusting me with it! In @myfandomprompts I believe!!!!!!!

Title: This Is My Idea of Fun - part of the It’s All For You series but can be read as standalone

Pairing: Billy Washington x female reader

Summary: You've come back from a week long holiday with your friends, and your boyfriend Billy has missed you. He's missed taking care of you, touching you and tasting you, giving you everything you need. And in giving you everything you need, he finds his own satisfaction.

Cunnilingus, breast worship, nipple orgasm (female), hands-free orgasm (male), mild praise kink, pet names, established relationship, fluffy smut.

Rating: E

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: references to Lana Del Rey (this whole series is based on Video Games - the lyrics and the vibes. JUMPSCARE I GUESS)

Tag list: @sylasthegrim / @myfandomprompts/ @arcielee / @babyblue711 / i forget who else might want Billy tags <3

"Billy!"

He grins as he waits for you at Stansted arrivals with open arms, and you fly to him. "Hey!"

Catching you in his embrace, he peppers your face with kisses, not caring that you're feeling gross from your flight, not caring that you smell of the stale aeroplane air, not caring, not caring, not caring. Behind you, your friends meet their partners, too, although none are as welcomed so lovingly as you (not that it's a competition - but it still feels good).

"I missed you!"

His heart leaps when you say that, and he runs his fingers over your hair. "Hmm. I missed you too. Didn't know what to do with myself all week. God, you look good. Look at your tan!" The Mallorca sun has warmed your skin and left you glowing, and he kisses your forehead. "You wore sun cream, right?"

"Of course!" you laugh, batting away his worries. "Factor fifty, three times a day."

"Hmm. I'm not sure it counts if you're adding tanning oil on top of it."

"Shut up!"

He grins and grabs the handle of your suitcase, and although you protest, he takes the rucksack from your back, too. When you turn towards the train station within the airport, he grabs your hand. "Where you going?"

"Aren't we-?" you gesture to where your friends are meandering to head back to central London.

"Absolutely not. No public transport for my girl."

"For God's sake!" you laugh again. "It's only a half hour train! You didn't have to drive. Couldn't wait to get me alone, huh?"

Billy ducks his head but gives you a glance. "You joke, but..."

You shove him playfully. Leaving him for a moment, you hug your friends goodbye and promise to see them soon, and then you go back to him. Arm in arm, you walk out of the airport. It's only been a week away from him. But you're giddy being back with him.

After some convincing from your side, you'd agreed that you'd text every day, but not go into detail about what you're up to - that way, when you got home, you could tell him everything. At first, it made him nervous, but now that you're animatedly telling him everything as he drives down the M11, he's glad.

It's magic, seeing you like this. It's a beauty to listen to you talk about anything, let alone something that makes you so happy. He listens almost in a trance, and as he sits at a comfortable seventy-five in the outside lane, he rests his hand on your thigh. God, it's good to have you back.

By the time you've returned to the flat you rent together, you've told him all about your week-long holiday. Inside, it's clean and tidy, and on the living room windowsill is a fresh bouquet of lilac and lavender.

"Oh, Billy."

He smiles and kisses your temple. "Welcome home."

"Thank you."

You hug him for a long moment, just happy to be in his arms. But then his kisses move to your neck, and you squirm away. "No, stop. I need a shower. I feel gross."

Billy's nose scrunches as he beams at you. "Alright. Want me to unpack for you in the meantime?"

You think about telling him no, that he doesn't have to worry, but he strokes your cheek, and you're reminded how much he likes to take care of you, in his own way. "Could you?"

He nods.

"Thank you."

You take your time in the shower. You scrub every inch of yourself clean in an attempt to scourge travel from your skin and hair. By the time you've finished, Billy's unpacked your bags and stuck a wash on. It makes you feel all warm inside, the little gestures he performs that show he loves you. That you're his person to look after. You wrap yourself up in a towel and pad into the living room.

"All better?" he asks from where he's sitting on the sofa.

"Yeah. I need a proper brew, though. Want one?"

"Go on, then."

In the little kitchen, you pull out two mugs. They're ones you painted together on a date when you were still teenagers. He painted sprigs of lavender on his. It's what you smelled of on your first date. It's his favourite smell now, and your favourite flower. The memory makes you smile.

Strong arms encircle you as the kettle boils. A sharp chin finds its place on your bare shoulder. You put a tea bag in each mug, and a teaspoon of sugar in yours. Where Billy's mug has your signature lavender painted on it, yours has yours and his initials in a purple love heart.

"Shouldn't I be the one making you a drink?" he asks softly. His voice is low and smooth, every bit a comfort as a cup of tea.

"You've done plenty for me! But you can wash it up later, if it makes you feel better."

He laughs lowly, and kisses your neck. "Mmm. You smell nice now."

"Yeah, I didn't enjoy stinking of eau de Ryanair."

"Mm. Much better now. All clean. Just in time to make you dirty again."

You lean back against him as you cackle in delight. "That's a shit line, Billy! You'll have to try harder than that."

The kettle shakes as it comes to a loud boil, and you pour the hot water, followed by milk. The tea bags can stew for a few minutes.

"You want me to try different lines?"

"Hmm. Depends what lines you've got."

"I don't think I've got any."

You turn to face him and give him a smile. "You must have some. You know the right things to say in certain contexts."

He tilts his head down almost bashfully. "That's different."

"Yeah?"

"It's easy to say the right things when you're already half out your mind."

Heat flushes your cheeks, and you rest your hands on his shoulders to pull him down for a sweet kiss. "That's true. And you always know what to say then, anyway. How do you know what to say?"

Billy gently presses you back against the counter and places his hands on it either side of you. His gaze roams down your neck and to your exposed collarbones and shoulders. "Dunno. You just make me want to say them."

"Well, I'm glad that you do. You know, Sofia told us that Tom doesn't even talk during sex?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Sometimes she has to even beg him to go down. He doesn't like doing it that much."

Billy meets your gaze with surprise in his eyes. "Really? Tommy?"

You nod.

"Huh. Maybe I need to get better friends."

That makes you laugh. "You should give him some tips!"

"I dunno. You think I've got anything worth sharing?"

You swallow. Butterflies have burst into your stomach. Just talking about it makes your skin tingle. And it's been a week. A week away from Billy might as well be a year. Yeah, a holiday with friends was really nice, but it had its drawbacks. On the second night you had cried because you missed him. Of course, your friends had laughed and rolled their eyes, and you'd got yourself together quick, but- but Billy.

"Yeah. You're alright at it, I guess."

His smile is so sweet as he leans closer to you. He tilts his head down and cocks it slightly to the side. "Only alright?"

You lick your lips. "Well. It's a better way for you to use your mouth than trying shit chat up lines."

"Wouldn't you prefer it was that way round, though?"

You try - and fail - to bite back your laughter. You're still blushing. "Yeah... when you put it like that."

"I missed it while you were away, you know?"

"'It'?"

He kisses your lips softly, nipping ever so slightly. "Your taste."

The power he holds over you is unreasonable. When he pulls away, your breath is still held. "My...?"

He watches your face for a moment, and then grabs the cups behind you. "C'mon. Let's go sit down."

Where he goes, you so happily follow. Back in the living room, you sit on the sofa next to him and cradle the mug in your hands. You blow on the top of the tea, and take a sip. Mm. Tastes like home.

"So what did you do with yourself while I was away?"

Billy positions himself on the cushions so that he's close to you, facing you, his knee touching yours. "Work. Saw Lana."

"How is she?"

"Settling in, I think. Mum and Dad are happy she's home."

"Bit of a different climate to the Middle East, though." You smile.

He sips his drink, too, as his fingers ghost along your shoulder. "Hmm."

"How's work?"

He doesn't answer. But his expression is soft. His sweet blue eyes follow the line his finger traces on your skin, up the side of your neck, and then down to where the towel is still wrapped under your arms and over your body.

"Billy?"

"Work's fine."

Another sip. And then he leans in and kisses your throat. The tea makes his mouth hot, and it draws a quiet noise from you. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too."

As he kisses your throat again, you take another sip. It's sweet, refreshing, soul-warming. The tea is nice, too. You smile softly.

When Billy's fingers carefully tug the towel open, you let it fall with a certain amount of relief. Since you came out of the bathroom in it, you've wanted him to do this. To welcome you home properly. From the moment he gripped your thigh in the car, actually, your heart has been quicker.

"Give me your cup." He takes it from your fingers, half empty, and rests it next to yours on the table. Another intimate gesture, a sign of him taking care of you.

Your body is dry now, clean and smooth and fresh. He runs his hand over your stomach and up your side, and his thumb caresses the swell of your breast. The other hand turns your face by the chin to look at him. He smiles slightly. "Hey."

"Hey."

"I missed you."

It never gets old, hearing that. "I missed you, too."

He kisses your mouth again. You close your eyes, and give into him.

How beautiful it is when you give into him, he thinks. You're clay under his hands, ready to be moulded, shaped, turned into something divine with the help of his touch. How you part your lips when he guides you makes his heart leap. He sighs when your tongues meet lazily. It's a hot and wet pressure that sends bolts of lighting down his spine.

He could kiss you all day and all night and never get bored, never need more. You're so soft and pliant under him. How sacred it is, to be wanted like this. Billy keeps hold of your chin as you share deep kisses, while his other hand spreads fingers wide and caresses your side. After a long moment, he guides you to lie back on the sofa.

"You're so beautiful," he breathes against your cheek.

You laugh breathlessly. "Even with these tan lines?"

Smiling, he traces the line over the top of your breast. Your skin is so supple here. "Yes."

"They look stupid."

"Better than there being no tan lines at all."

"I'd never sunbathe topless."

Just the thought makes his arms tingle. It makes him bite gently against the shell of your ear. His breath is hot against it. "You'd better not. Your body is for my eyes only."

That earns a soft sigh from you. "Says who?"

It's a poor attempt on your part to tease and challenge him, but already it's under his control that you've fallen. "You. Every time you give yourself to me like this, it's a promise that you're mine."

"You don't own me." But your voice is gentle, your smile wide.

"No? Then why have you stopped breathing?"

It's satisfying how you gasp under his touch. He kisses you deeply a final time before his lips find a path down your skin. He follows the curve of your jaw and the slope of your neck, and at your collarbone, he leaves careful bites to the bone. Between your breasts, he presses his nose and breathes hard.

Across your lower back, he splays his fingers and lifts you up slightly. You arch closer to him, and he hums lowly at the grasp on his sandy hair.

"So beautiful." He can't help telling you again and again. "You're so beautiful."

You laugh softly. "Stop being so sweet." But your eyes are closed, he sees as he glances up, and you're preening at his words.

"You want me to be cruel?"

Again, you laugh. "Alright. You can keep being sweet."

"That's my girl."

Billy kisses the underside of your breast, and brings one hand to the other to carefully massage it. He bites the delicate skin here and there, and makes a pattern of kisses around your flesh. As he neglects your nipple, you feel your areolas tighten at the stimulation and anticipation.

"Please," you whisper.

"There's no rush," he soothes.

"But I want you."

He kisses your sternum harder than before. "I know, baby. Just relax. I'll take care of you."

You whimper quietly. He's doing everything right, except this time he's being slow about it. He drags his pretty lips down your stomach and you tense, but then he returns back up to your neck.

"Relax," he whispers.

You try to let the tension go, but it's difficult when anticipation is coursing through you. You open your eyes to see him looking down at you. Against your waist, his thumb runs soothing circles.

"Take deep breaths for me," Billy murmurs. As he leans over you, his short hair falls over his eyes, and it makes you smile. You stroke his face affectionately. You do as you're told.

"That's it. In, and out, nice and slow. Good job, baby. Just like that."

As the tension slowly melts away from your body, Billy is satisfied. Barely holding back his hunger, he returns his attention to your breasts. As you lie comfortably on the sofa, focusing on your breathing, he strokes up and down your sides, fingers ghosting along the swell of your breasts. Circles replace strokes, the tips of all four fingers trailing wide over your flesh.

When his touch glides over your pebbled areolas, you sigh and smile. The expression on your face makes his stomach tense. God, he could come from that alone.

"Does that feel nice?"

The deep breathing you've been practising has you finally relaxed and almost in a haze of desire now, and you nod. Words are out of your grasp, but you give him an encouraging hum. The anticipation no longer feels like a burden - now, it's just a promise.

"It feels nice for me, too." Closer and closer, Billy's fingers get to where you want them. And then, with a careful grasp around the bottom of your breast, he licks over your nipple. The stimulation makes you whimper and arch up. He runs the tip of his tongue around it, watching your face carefully for your reaction. Against your other breast, his fingers mirror the action of his mouth.

Billy blows cool air over where his tongue has been. He smiles when you toss your head to the side in response. After taking a long sip of warm tea, he takes your nipple into his mouth and sucks. The heat and rush of blood is so good.

You try to rub your thighs together to relieve some of the tension, but his knees are between yours and you can't. Instead, as the tension at your chest makes your mind foggy, you clench and unclench, driving your pleasure higher.

He notices. He can read you. "Easy," he whispers. "Breathe." His eyes bear into yours, blue flame, and you nod, obeying him. He smiles. "Good girl."

Another whimper sounds in your throat. He rewards you with his mouth again.

"Oh, God," you sigh. "Yes. Please."

Not a single touch has drifted south of your navel yet, but that doesn't matter. The attention at your breasts is more than enough. Pleasure builds deep within your body at the touches Billy lavishes on you. Soon, your steady breaths are not so steady anymore. Your jaw is slack, your hands fists at your side.

"Yes, yes, yes!"

He pulls off your nipple only to latch onto your other one. His fingers replace his mouth quickly and between his finger and thumb he carefully twists and pulls on you. Teeth catch puckered skin, and the sensation sets your whole body aflame. It drives you higher and higher.

"P-please!"

His free hand is firm around your back and he holds you firmly in his strong arm. You're drunk on his attention, seeing stars, consumed by him, by your Billy. The attention on your nipples is everything you need, and it builds and builds and your vision blacks out, you lose all sense of the world, and, and-!

"Fuck! Fuck, Billy! Yes, yes-!"

"Good girl," he hisses with your nipple between his teeth. His eyes are fixed on your face. "Just like that, baby. You're doing so well-!"

"Oh, shit-!"

As your orgasm erupts within you, you swear and writhe, burning. You twist and turn and arch, pleasure washing over you and making you cry out. It's overwhelming. It rips through every cell until you're shaking and mewling.

Billy's attentions slow, and after a long moment of taking you through your long peak, he presses his forehead over your heart. Hands stroke your sides soothingly, down your hips and thighs, and back up to your arms.

Silence follows. It's only punctuated by your heavy breathing, his quiet noises of encouragement.

"That was so good," he praises softly. "You're so pretty when you come."

You sling an arm over your eyes, but laugh softly at the praise. With your orgasm, some tension has been relieved from your body, but the haze in your mind remains. "Billy..."

"You want more?"

With flushed cheeks, you nod.

"Where do you want me?"

You trace your skin and drag a long line down your chest, your stomach, your hip. You spread your thighs and rest one foot on the floor for balance. The other is thrown onto the back of the sofa.

Billy lets out a shaking breath. "Oh, baby. You're so generous. All for me?"

The arm that was over your eyes now reaches for him, and you hold his hand. Lacing your fingers together feels as intimate as anything else. The butterflies in your stomach take flight again. "You."

"I missed your taste so much." He slinks down your body and kneels in front of the sofa. Strong arms twist you so that your legs come to rest on his shoulders. "Look how ready you are for me. Oh, you're so pretty."

His mouth is watering at the sight of you. Glistening, swollen, hot. His toes curl.

"Please," you whisper.

"What do you want me to do, baby?"

The pet name makes your thighs twitch. You used to cringe when you heard people call their partners 'baby', but in the most intimate moments with Billy, it feels so right. You're his. "Your mouth."

"Should I use it for 'shit chat up lines'?" And despite the overwhelming desire that shrouds you both, he grins.

God, it's so pretty the way his lips pull up like that. It makes his eyes sparkle, brings out smile lines on his cheeks. He's so loveable. "No. The other thing."

"What other thing?"

"You know."

He kisses the inside of your knee where it rests on his shoulder. "I know. But I want to hear you say it."

You blush - you hear your heartbeat in your ears. You feel it rush between your legs. "Please, Billy. Eat me out."

He almost growls in relief. "God, you're such a good girl. Thank you for using your words for me."

The praise makes you whimper. He's so good at it.

Between your thighs, Billy bites his lip. And then he closes the distance, and he's home. There's no home without you, not really, and this is the hearth. Warmth, fire, comfort. He loves your soul - but it's your cunt he worships.

His fingers make a 'v' shape at the apex of your thighs to spread you wide for him. The sight of your swollen clit, red and wet, makes him groan quietly. He tilts your hips slightly and presses his tongue first to your entrance, and the briny saltness of your readiness makes his eyes close. Your taste. Your fucking taste.

"Look at me." Your voice floats in the air like a song. His eyes open quickly and meet yours. It sends bolts of pleasure through him to hold your gaze as he runs his tongue up your length. Beneath it, your pulse rushes. A testament to how much you need him. How desperate he makes you. It's a love letter, every beat.

His tongue is soft while he pries at your entrance. The nerves there are stimulated in response, and your stomach tenses and relaxes in a familiar rhythm. Like he did around your nipple, here, he circles in a steady pace until you're arching closer for something more. As he sucks on your soft folds, you throw your head back and whine.

"Billy," you moan. "That feels so fucking good."

You're rewarded with a long lick up to your bud. He can't resist ghosting his teeth over it, and when you squeal, he smiles against your cunt. Each time you glance down at him, you meet his gaze. He can't take his eyes off your face.

Between his legs, his cock is neglected and aching. There is no stimulation for him, no relief. But it's like he's sharing in your physical pleasure now. He applies pressure with the flat of his tongue to your clit and rubs it back and forth, and the pleasure that builds for you also does for him.

Then, he pulls back.

"Shit, Billy-!" You glance down at him, panting, and see how wet his chin and lips and nose are. It makes you proud. All for him.

He can't keep away from you for long, though. Only a few seconds of respite are given to you before his tongue finds its place back on you. You're so warm and silky against his mouth, it's heaven. So slick and wet, too, impossibly ready. Billy nods his head up and down - still holding your gaze like his life depends on it - and lets his tongue pry against your entrance. Just a little angle change, and his nose catches the underside of your clit.

"Yes!" you beg. "Just like that, right there!"

But he can do more for you. He can be better, always better. With your thick scent filling his nose, your salty taste filling his mouth, he nips at your folds and then finally, finally, seals his lips around your clit.

Stars pop in his eyes now, not just yours. His cheeks hollow out as he sucks on you. Arms clamp around your thighs, biceps straining to hold you fast. Your own hands bury into his sandy hair to stop him from moving, too. You're locked together, bodies and souls.

"Yes!" you encourage again. "Billy, I'm so close, I'm so close, keep going, please, pl-!"

His mouth fills with your taste, with his own saliva, and he keeps suckling on you. Pressure is building in your stomach and his, and your cries and moans and begs push him, push him, push him. It's too much, he'll crack soon, he can't last much longer, not with your own climax imminent-

"Billy! Billy! Oh my God, oh my God! Billy! Bill-"

The lips around your clit wrench an orgasm from you that makes you scream. Your knees tighten against his ears and your whole body shakes. It washes over you for five seconds, ten, fifteen-! Your throat is raw from the gutteral cries, your cunt is throbbing from the tension and release, tension and release.

And then Billy is moaning between your thighs. His blue eyes are fixed on yours. But they're blown wide, and his hands are trembling, and then his jaw is slack, and his whole body jerks once. You whimper when you realise what's happened. It's the hottest fucking thing you've ever seen.

He’s come just from eating you out alone. No touch, no stimulation. Just making you finish has him spilling in his fucking trousers.

After a while, you both go limp. He barely has the strength left to climb on top of you on the sofa, but somehow he manages.

Minutes go by. Your breathing steadies. It matches up. Your hearts beat in tandem.

Peace reigns in your home.

After a while - minutes, hours, who knows? - you return to your body. The weight of Billy on top of you helps. Your hands find their way back into his hair, and you slowly massage his scalp.

"Mmm."

You smile at the noise he makes. "You're brilliant. You know that, right?"

His face is tucked into your neck, sweaty and sticky. "For that?"

"For everything."

"Mmm?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're good at that." You laugh quietly. It makes him shake a little on top of you. "But everything else, too. You picked me up from the airport. You made sure the flat was spotless. You bought me lavender."

He kisses your neck softly. "This is all I think of."

"Mm?"

"It's you, all for you. Everything I do."

You pull him closer and smile, letting your eyes close in bliss. "You're my heaven."

Billy strokes your sides. "You're my home."

[chasedbyatlantic]

sunshine, joel miller

masterlist summary: IN WHICH — after getting lost on your little getaway, out by yourself, help is on the way once your situationship - joel miller - gets wind of it.

warnings: post outbreak!joel, jackson era!joel, f!reader, angst into fluff!, (almost)smut at the end - hints to it, joel being caring for you, mentions of guns, swearing, joel being husband material as usual. lmk if i missed anything!

wordcount: 2.5k

a/n: i got HEAVILY inspired from the lyrics behind sunshine (steve lacy/fousheé) for this, its also my first go at a little angsty vibe so i hope u love it as much as i do. remember to like, comment, reblog and follow for more! send in requests. xoxo

—

It had been weeks since you last saw him.  You felt bad, you really did- you just couldn't bring yourself to love him and then lose him like you did with everyone else.  This world was so cruel to you, you didn't want it to be any crueler.  Not anymore.  You had been through so much in the last few years, that you were now holding on with a thread, and the thread was thinning out even more.  You didn’t tell him that you didn’t want to be with him, no, you told him that you just needed time to- think it through.  He seemed more than happy with the decision when it happened, it just (sort of) backfired after. 

You found out it had gotten bad after you talked with Ellie last.  Over the period of time you two were together, you grew closer to her - she trusted you, and you trusted her.  Ellie had told you that Joel was always locked in his room, other than when he had work.  He would skip meals every so often, but it was something that didn’t bug her (it bugged you, though).  After she had told you all of this, she made you swear under the non-existent god (her words, not yours) that you would never tell Joel.  You promised, of course, but this made you nothing short but scared, scared for him.

You and Joel worked together, that was how you met in the first place.  You were both on the more-experienced end of the patrollers unit throughout Jackson, and often went outside of the walls together.  That had changed, though.  A few days after you had loosened (not ended) the ties with Joel, you had been assigned to a new sub-unit by Tommy Miller (Joel’s younger brother), one that wouldn’t intertwine with Joel’s at all.  You weren’t sure if he had said something (you really hoped he hadn’t, you couldn’t deal with any pre-apocalyptic drama anymore), or if it was just the world doing you guys a solid.

You were close with Tommy’s wife, Maria, so you had somehow convinced her to let you take a small trip outside the walls by yourself, to scavenge for supplies and what not.  You told her you knew the outside area like the back of your hand, and you weren’t all wrong.  It was just- well, you didn’t know it off the top of your head, you knew it through a map (that was something you’d never tell Maria, though).  She made you promise her that you would radio her if anything went down while you were out, anything ranging from getting lost to coming across unfamiliar people.  That’s where you found yourself right now.

You left the walls two days ago, and now you were lost.  You had lost your map after having to kill a clicker late the night before, and couldn’t find it no matter how hard you looked.  Though, you only looked for about an hour- you had to get out of the area quickly, because if there was one clicker, there was bound to be others.  You now found yourself in the living room of a house you had cleared out earlier in the day, praying to whoever was above that someone would answer the radio call. 

“This is- it’s me, Maria,” Your hand was holding down the side button, as a sigh was heard across this station, “I’m lost, I should’ve listened, my coordinates are-” You had listed off the rough points, admitting defeat.  Maybe this was the universe’s way of telling you that you needed to move on and start off fresh.  Hell, you thought to yourself, this was a damn good way of Mother Nature telling you to leave those people behind, if that was her goal.  You waited a moment before flipping through the channels, having absolutely nothing else to do but this.  It was still radio silence throughout all of the twenty-some odd channels.  You decided to give yourself an ultimatum, if no signs were shown by the morning, you’d move on for the better.

You had fallen asleep not long after you gave yourself the ultimatum.  You only realized that after your brain woke itself up god knows how long after.  Your body was nowhere near waking up, this had to have been the best sleep you had gotten in weeks, after everything that happened with Joel.  You weren’t a cliche person, no way.  But, you knew you hurt Joel, even if he refused to show it ever.  You felt like shit for doing it, you really did, but maybe he would’ve figured out that it was for the better (sooner or later, at least).  

Speaking of figuring it out, you had figured that you better get up.  It was probably around nine or so in the morning, and you had already slept in far too late.  You shifted around on the floor, where your makeshift (not really) bed was, before you heard breathing.  Not your breathing, no, but something- someone else.  If you weren’t fully awake before, you sure as hell were now.  You didn’t open your eyes, but you shifted once more, you had a pistol in your back pocket that you had to get out.  As you tried your very best to shift as normal as one could in their sleep, you finally reached the pistol.  You hand wrapped around the body, and finger hovering the trigger, before shooting up and ripping the pistol out of your pocket.  Your eyes were translucent-like right now, which meant you weren’t able to see properly who was in front of you.  It was only by the tone of the voice that gave the person away, “Now cowgirl, what’d I teach ya’ ‘bout pointin’ guns at people ya’ know?”

It was him, it was Joel Miller.  With the gun still pointed at him, a million thoughts started to race through your head.  Why was he here?  How did he find out?  How did he get here so fucking quick?  Though, your thoughts were cut short when your pistol was ripped out of your right hand- and you just let it be.  You rubbed your eyes, finally able to lay your eyes across the man in front of you.  He looked like he had lost a bit of weight in his face, but his hair was still curly and untamed, his muscles still threatened to strip the seams out of his shirt, his eyes were still- no, you thought to yourself, you couldn’t and shouldn’t be thinking like this.  

“You shouldn’t be here, Joel.  Not after what happened.” You immediately shot up, not letting your eyes linger for a second longer.  He was sat, leaning against the door frame into the kitchen.  His rifle was resting against his knees, the safety on since he knew you wouldn’t do anything.  “What?  Just ‘cause we- doesn’t matter.” He muttered, “Ya’ called, and I came’n checked on my colleague.” A colleague?  It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, when he said that.  You had to ignore it and keep your guard high, it wasn’t like you if you didn’t.

“How the fuck did ya’ get the radio station?  It was only for Maria.” You had gotten up, honestly just wanting to leave.  Even after feeling like the shittiest person on earth for distancing yourself from Joel, you would’ve preferred anyone else to answer the call for help.  As you made your way to the entrance of the kitchen, just beside to where Joel was sitting, he put his rifle up and covered your path.  “Made ya’ somethin’ to eat, missy.  Ya’ still eat y’ur eggs over easy?” This set you off, almost. Why was he being so nice to you, after everything you did to him?

You pushed your way through his rifle and into the kitchen, the smell of freshly cooked eggs, something you hadn’t smelled in god knows how long, came passing through your nose.  Joel always treated you right, you didn’t deny that.  You had heard the man in the other room getting up, so you quickly ripped off a piece of the over easy egg and shoved it in your mouth.  He would’ve obviously seen you had taken a bite, but you wanted to hold onto the little bit of pride you had left.  “Listen,” Joel had began as you turned to face him, he was leaning against the frame, “I’ain here to rehash anythin’, just wanted to make sure everythin’ was alright.” 

It wasn’t before, but why did it feel like it was now?  You shouldn’t have been feeling like that, you thought to yourself. You should be running away and pushing him farther away from you than before.  “It is, you can- leave now.” You had hesitated, and your eyes fell from Joel’s.  You couldn’t even look him in the face when you said it, you knew it was wrong.  All you wanted to do was hug him and kiss him again, but the fear of attachment you had was lingering heavy right now.  Joel noticed this, crossing his arms.  He knew that you were bull-shitting him, and that everything wasn’t fine.  He had been with you long enough to know when you were lying, and when you weren’t your usual self.  “‘M sorry- ya’ know that, Sunshine.” He told you, one of the few times you had ever heard an apology escape the man’s lips.  This had roped you into meeting his gaze again, your heart almost dropping.

Joel went to say something else, but you immediately cut him off. “Don’t you apologize.  I was the one to- to push ya’ back.” You began, “It shouldn’t have happened and’m sorry for it- Jesus Christ Joel, you know I still love ya’.” There was different tones said to this, angry ones, sad ones, embarrassed ones.  You knew, and Joel knew, that whatever you had done was to try and protect him, but no matter how much you pushed him back, you guys were meant to be no farther than three feet away from each other.  

“There’s the girl I know, not some pistol whippin’ chick.” He had a rough smile playing against his face, he couldn’t help it.  Joel, despite not showing it, had butterflies that were running through his stomach like crazy right now.  You made him feel like that whenever you wear near him, and he hadn’t experienced that for twenty years.  He unfolded his arms and rose one, signalling you in for a hug.  You couldn’t help it, you immediately stepped forward and embraced the man that you had missed so dearly.  Though the fear of attachment was still alive and well, you felt as if you could outrun it right now.

It felt like it was your first hug in years (in weeks, actually), and it felt so rewarding.  Joel was praying (even though he wasn’t a religious man at all) that you would come around, and that you would love him again- like he loved you.  Your head fit into the crook of his neck just like a puzzle piece, and he was happier than ever.  “‘M sorry.” You repeated yourself once again, wanting to say so much more but just couldn’t find the words to.  His hand fell to the bottom of your neck, “I know,” He began, “Now, go eat y’ur meal before I eat it for ya’.”

You had a small smile rise to your face as your arms dropped from Joel’s embrace.  You had reached over and gotten the egg, ripping a piece off the edge of it.  You turned back and turned your glances up (Joel had practically towered over you) to meet his eyes, bringing the piece of egg to his lips.  As Joel took notice of what you were doing, he parted his lips in order to assist you.  As your finger slipped into Joel’s mouth, he started to suck around your finger.  It felt good, almost too good, in your opinion.  He let out a small, raspy moan against the piece of you that was in his mouth.

He had let go after a moment, letting your hand fall back to the side of you.  “Missed everythin’ ‘bout ya’.” He had started, tucking a piece of your hair behind your right ear.  “‘Specially the late nights.” You knew what he was talking about, sex.  Even though the world had gone to complete shit, people were still going to be people.  “Before anythin’,” You had started, “Do ya’ wanna, I’dunno, get back at it?” You were bad with words, Joel knew that.  But he also knew that you were hinting at continuing your relationship together.  He didn’t want anything else, honestly.  He missed waking up to you, going to bed with you, and everything in between.  Joel wasn’t an emotional guy by any stretch of the way, but he tried to be more considerate when it came to the people he loved.

Joel had answered your question by leaning forward and placing his lips on top of yours.  He was soft at the start, unsure on how you would take it.  He was also hoping that this would give you an answer, instead of a verbal ‘I need you now’ one - thankfully, it did.  It gave you a clear-as-fucking-day answer.  You had parted your lips, allowing Joel to take control over the both of you while you two were catching up on the missed kisses from the last while.  This is when he had started let his rough edges show, he slipped his tongue in and started to love on you more aggressively.  He was still hesitant on how you were going to take it, but you reacted very positively (to his pleasure).

Joel became handsy first, his hands travelling from over your hips to under your shirt and unclipping your bra.  He knew that you wanted it as much as he did right now, he could tell by the muffled moans that were escaping your lips against his.  You were soon to follow suit, your hands moving from Joel’s chest, to his more southern regions.  A grunt had escaped his lips when you began to undo his belt, and he removed your bra from under your shirt.  This was the only person you had ever wanted to do anything like this with, Joel knew that.  He felt the same way with you, he knew that you were delicate with him and his subconscious.  

Now that things were finally figured out between the two of you, you could go back to loving Joel.  You would deal with your fears at a later date, not now, not anytime soon.  You had to focus on what you loved most, and it was the man right in front of you.  Joel was glad you had come around, he didn’t know what he would’ve done if you didn’t.  In this hell-bound world, you were one of the few things that really mattered to him.  Everyone goes through their hardships, it just makes the shared relationship stronger.  You had finally figured that out as Joel was making love to you.  Fears can come and go whenever they want, but people you love will stick with you- even through the fucking apocalypse.

—

sunshine, steve lacy/fousheé

[lots-of-sun]

A/n: Somehow I always end up writing about people walking LOL. Also a lot of my fic titles come from song lyrics!

Tamao Serizawa x Fem!Reader

SO KISS ME

Working at a bookstore always had its interesting experiences, especially when I'm usually the only person on shift everyday. Despite still being in high school, I was always rostered on, I guess being in senior year was bound to have it's downsides. The boss was always so picky about who worked here, not that it really mattered as long as you were competent. But over the two years I'd been employed here, I seem to be the only one who stuck. Not that my boss was ever mean or harsh, just didn't accept lazy or disrespectful staff. That's how I always ended up on the same schedule every week. Not that I minded, consistency was oddly relaxing, not having to worry about what to do next, always knowing.

The shop is small, yet packed with book shelves and a single table seating area right at the front of the main floor, across from the counter. I'd always loved the vintage and cozy vibe this building had, tucked away on a back street, like a little treasure that you'd only be able to find if you looked hard enough or stumbled across by accident.

One thing that kept me around this job for so long, was the people. With every face that stepped through that entrance came a new story, a new corner of the world I'd never learned about, a new adventure. The odd sense of home I got from the regulars who frequented for the newest reads or even the classics, always put a smile on my face. Though there was someone who stopped by often, despite never buying anything.

Tamao Serizawa had slipped into my life fairly nonchalantly, so much so that I don't entirely remember ever meeting him in the first place. Though I do recall the first time I'd seen him, walking past the open doors of the bookstore about a year and a half ago. He'd been surrounded by his group of friends, laughing along with them. He hadn't noticed me back then, but that changed a few months later.

I had easily forgotten about seeing him, I saw almost a hundred faces a day, even if it was just from people watching when the store was dead. It was a Monday afternoon when he'd entered the shop with his usual gang, I'd been adding pricing labels to newly arrived books from behind the counter near the door. They all wore classic school boy uniforms, yet they all seemed to be tweaked differently, defining them to being individual. They'd piled in near the entrance and brushed off my offer for assistance, though a pair of eyes seemed to linger on me. Even after they had looked around and left without purchasing anything, I couldn't shake the feeling of having someone watching me. Though I tried to brush it off as nonchalantly as I could.

That was until they began to come in more frequently, sometimes it was the whole group and other times it was only two or three of them but Tamao was always amongst them. Soon, they'd started spending most afternoons in the small seating area near the front of the store, never reading but always talking, plotting things I'd only eavesdropped on when I got bored. It became apparent to me pretty quickly that they were a part of one of the neighboring gang schools, though I didn't judge, there was no point, not when I didn't know them. After their first few rendezvous, they began including me in conversations, some were incredibly trivial, the kind of chats you'd have with friends. And others were serious, asking for advice and even if I didn't know how to answer, I tried my best.

On most weekends, Serizawa came in alone. Browsing the visual novel section, making small talk and asking for recommendations. He was always more engaged and at ease when he was alone, like he had more time to think without someone talking in his ear all the time. It's something I found comfort in, getting to see two separate sides to the same person. I wonder if he was like this with his friends, if he was actually always this calm and I just overlooked it when he was surrounded by others. But I definitely grew attracted to this side of him and eventually began to watch him more often, even if it was brief glances in his direction.

Today was no different than any other, heading straight to work after my final class of the day, changing out of my uniform in the stores bathroom and relieving my co-worker from their shift. I head out to the main floor and take a seat on the wooden stool behind the counter. My eyes scan the open notebook that sits next to the cash register, going over the list of responsibilities I have to complete before closing the store for the night.

Then the entrance bell rings and I don't even need to look up to know who it is, I'd heard them before they even made it to the door. The familiar sound of chatter and heavy shoes against the hardwood floors makes me smile. I raise my head to see exactly the people I'd expected.

"Hey guys, finally decide to indulge yourselves in literature?" I joke, knowing the answer is a resounding no. I take in all of their appearances, looking how they always do, save for a few extra bruises. My eyes linger on Serizawa for a split second, his gaze already fixed on me by the time I look towards him.

"Not today, but maybe one of these days" Tokio speaks up first, over the chorus of greetings I received.

"I could use a good book" Tokaji mumbles, already heading over to the seating area with Tsutsumoto.

"Serizawa's definitely trying to indulge in something else" The Mikami brothers whisper to each other, snickering at their own teasing words. They earn a slap on the back of the head by the man himself, the same hand retracting to run through his short hair.

"Don't mind them, monkeys haven't had their banana today" Serizawa's voice is thick as he lunges towards the brothers who scurry away to join everyone else at the table. He turns back to me, giving a small smile. "Yellow suits you" He adds softly, referring to the crew neck sweater I wore, before turning to join the others.

I smile at his words, feeling my heart leap in my chest. My eyes follow him to where he sits, it's kind of odd seeing him so outwardly different when he is around his friends, knowing there's a whole other side to him. I need to stop staring before any of them notice, even worse if it's Tamao himself. I busy myself with the duties of the checklist that's been taunting me since I sat down, but don't miss the feeling of someone watching me.

I hadn't even noticed how late it had gotten until I come out from the back room and it's getting dark outside. Tamao and his gang had left not too long ago, having said their goodbyes before disappearing down the street, while I continued to pack up for the night.

I let out a sigh of relief, happy to be finally heading home. I double check that I've locked the doors properly before turning to start my walk home, maybe I'll catch a taxi instead, I'm tired tonight. But as I turn to my left, there he is. Tamao Serizawa, standing under a yellowed street lamp with a half finished cigarette hanging from his lips, which he exhales the smoke through his nose. He's facing me, watching me like he usually does. Except this isn't usual, he's never here when I close the store, not that I've noticed at least. But overall, he seems to have been waiting for me. He flicks the cigarette to the pavement and puts it out with his foot, clearing his throat as he takes a few slow steps towards me.

"Serizawa? Is everything okay?" I ask, a slight concern filling my voice. Blame it on the overthinking, but I jump to the conclusion he might need support, whether it be emotionally or physically. Though as he lets out a calm chuckle, I think he might want something else.

"I hope so" He responds shortly, a smirk ghosting his lips as he stops when he's close enough to talk more gently. "Sorry to make you worry, I just thought I could walk you home." He clears his throat, "It can get... lonely"

I sort of blink at him as I purse my lips, trying to hold back a smile at his reasoning. It was clearly an excuse but I let it slide, barely. I notice the way the corner of his lips quirk up and his eyes squint, obviously being aware of how blatant his defense is. Now we're both standing here, staring at each other in the dim light of the side walk, clearly trying not to laugh. He tries to break his expression but ends up falling into a deeper grin.

"Yep" I squeak out, closing my eyes as my voice cracks with a rising laugh. "It can, how thoughtful of y... you" My slight pause comes from the lurch of my body as I try my hardest not to laugh at the expression he's making, he looks like he's trying to hold in a sneeze and I probably don't look much different.

We both let out a small snicker at each other, which devolves into a chuckle and a laugh. It feels like I'm melting into this moment and the implications of why he'd want to walk me home has my heart racing. We try to compose ourselves, a small giggle here and there. He looks down at his shoes before back up, seemingly regained his previous demeanor, despite the curl of a smile on his lips.

"Let's go, it's late as is" He tries to be serious and I let him, let him be who he wants to be. I nod in agreement with him and as I begin to walk, he follows.

It's not long before we're in my neighborhood, I'd always lived close to where I worked, not wanting to have to take the packed trains everyday. We'd walked in near silence the whole way here. It didn't bother me though, if anything it was sort of endearing, not feeling like I have to talk all the time. Serizawa is the first to break the silence as we near my house.

"I don't want to mess this up" His voice is vulnerable, it almost shocks me into freezing but I match his slowing steps and look towards him. I open my mouth to speak, ask if somethings going on but he cuts me off before I can.

"You mean a lot to me, more than I thought you would. You were always beautiful to me and I couldn't stop myself from coming back to you, even when I wasn't sure. But now I am sure, I know how I feel and I don't want you to slip away without ever telling you." His voice is the calm, soft tone it always was when we were alone together and my heart leaps to my throat at the realization of what he's trying to say.

"Serizawa, are y-"

"I like you a lot and if you are willing, I'd love to take you out" He speaks again before I can finish my sentence. He seems so assured in what he's saying. A smile is now growing on my lips as I go to respond, to tell him I'd love to.

"Tama-" And once again, before I can say any more he interrupts, this time sounding slightly more nervous and he holds an unreadable expression. He brings his hand up to run his fingers through his hair.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way but I needed to at least tell you, I wouldn't be able to let you go if I didn't say anything" He concludes sincerely and this time he finally looks towards me. I can't help but grin and the heat that's rushes to my cheeks tells me I'm blushing. He looks unsure, like he thinks I might just start laughing at him.

"You know what I love about you?" I start, a small laugh escaping my lips. "How you let me finish my sentences" It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders as he mirrors my smile, giving a small chuckle. It's my turn to cut him off as he opens his mouth to say something.

"And, I love when you come around and the way you run your hand through your hair when you're nervous" My grin widens as he looks away slightly, seemingly surprised I'd noticed his anxious habit. I place my hand on his arm softly, "And I'd love to go out with you"

His smile widens and his expression is something I've never seen him have before, it's a mixture of relief and adoration. The way his eyes are trained on mine in the soft glow of the street lamps, it has my heart pounding. I let myself relax, relieved that my feelings weren't one sided.

"Then it's settled, let's date?" He asks, sounding like he's double checking that's what I really meant.

I can't help but grin wider, shaking my head softly in disbelief. Pushing the gate to my house and holding it open with my body, I face out into the street to look at him, I nod reassuring.

"Yeah, let's date, unless you've already changed your mind" I tease him softly and I watch as he rolls his eyes sarcastically. It feels odd how easily we seems to fit in with each other, feeling closer and more confident.

"I could kiss you right now" He says those words like it's the most natural thing to say in this moment and maybe it is, but I still feel my face burn in a deeper blush. He lets out a chuckle and stuffs his hands in his pockets, preparing to leave. But I don't want him to go, not yet at least.

"Then do it" I take a step closer to him, hearing the gate squeak softly as it moves with me.

He looks up towards me now that I'm standing on the small step that leads to the gate, his eyes shine with something I can't quite recognize. He takes a step forwards as well and I lean down slightly so I can reach his face. One of his hands withdraws from his pocket, raising to rest on the curve of my waist and my hand moves to cradle his jaw. Our lips connect in a soft but quick kiss, one that leaves me wanting more. His lips are cold but inviting and I don't want this to end. As I pull back gently, I feel his hand leave my side and mine retracts back to tuck under the warmth of my crew neck.

"Goodnight, Tamao" I whisper, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his cheek.

I enter the front area of my house and begin to close the gate as he steps out of view behind the solid fence of my property, not before hearing a small 'night' come from him. As I approach my front door, the hum of a tv playing fills my ears. Though as I step up on the front step that leads to the threshold of the building, I turn back to look over the top of the fence, watching the back of Tamao's body get further and further away.

"Yes!" It's soft but I still hear it and watch as Serizawa pumps his fist in the air like he's won a great victory. The sight makes me cover my mouth to hold in a small laugh. I finally look away and I find myself still grinning. I don't want the way my heart lurches for him to stop and something tells me it won't ever, something tells me he'll keep my heart safe.

[nakmor-leigh]

Assigning rock/metal/punk songs to the companions because why not

Halsin

Footsteps - Pop Evil

I've walked an empty mile/ Wore down this lonely soul/ I take these footsteps/ Go higher/ Go higher

(Really hard not to give him the love songs i have saved bc i love him so much)

Wyll

Leviathan - Volbeat

Horns that sprout out from your head/ A glowing light beneath the surface/ You said that you and I/Could make 'em all terrified/ And clean up the whole world

(Not only does this song reflect Wyll's journey to find and awaken Ansur, but it's WYLL, WYLL is the leviathan!!)

Karlach

I am the Fire - Halestorm

Roaring like the sun/ And I am the one/ I've been waiting for/ Screaming like a siren/ alive and burning brighter/ I am the Fire

(Very on the nose but i couldn't find a song that fit both her personality and her story like this)

Gale

Fear Inoculum - Tool

Exhale/ Expel/ Recast my tale/ Weave my allegorical elegy

(This song fits in overall vibes, lyrics, and even long-windedness [affectionate]. Literally sounds like someone casting a spell)

Shadowheart

Haunted - Evanescence

Long lost words whisper slowly to me/ Still can't find what keeps me here/ When all this time I've been so hollow inside

(Yes yes "Bring Me To Life" is a very Shart song but, aside from Evanescence being a Shadowheart BAND in general, i think the lyrics of Haunted fit her the most)

Astarion

I'm Not Jesus - Apocalyptica

When your world comes crashing down/ I want to be there/ If God is looking down on me/ I'm not Jesus/ Jesus wasn't there

(Me 🤝🏽 Astarion: surviving horrible abuse and being very bitter about it 🥲)

Lae’zel

Indestructible - Disturbed

Another mission/ The powers have called me away/ Another time/ To carry the colors again/ My motivation/ An oath I've sworn to defend/ To win the honor/ Of coming back home again

(This entire song is her entire personality and character motivation)

Minthara

Looking Down the Barrel of Today - Hatebreed

Once had a shotgun to my head/ They said i wasn't worth the bullets/ Now the world is my trigger/ And I'm here to fucking pull it

(I gotta be honest, i haven't recruited Minthara yet, so this is just off what little i know about her. She can have a badass fight song, as a treat)

Jaheira

When Legends Rise - Godsmack

Throat is dry/ My vision's fading/ I'm paralyzed/ And left here waiting/ Taking time/ Just one step forward/ Won't lose my mind/ I'm here to stay

(Jaheira is awesome and a legend. She keeps trying to give up the fight but always finds herself stepping up again because it's the right thing to do)

Minsc

Tribute - Tenacious D

So we played the first thing/ That came to our heads/ Just so happened to be/ The best song in the world/ It was the best song in the world

(¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It sounds like his exact type of story telling, and exactly like something that would happen to him lmaoooo)

[queerdraws]

⚔️👒 Zolu Playlist 👒⚔️

28 songs Full tracklist, selected lyrics, n writeup below cut

(Contains: The Happy Fits, PUFFY, Illuminati Hotties, Paramore, The Shins, The Orion Experience, Best Coast, Utada Hikaru, etc) (+a couple songs absorbed from ao's zolu playlist)

1. The Shins - Simple Song Mixed POV, Zoro being recruited by Luffy. ... You sure must be strong And you feel like an ocean being warmed by the Sun // My life in an upturned boat Marooned on a cliff You brought me a great big flood And you gave me a lift // I know that things can really get rough When you go it alone Don't go thinking you gotta be tough To bleed like a stone Could be there's nothing else in our lives so critical As this little hole?

2. Slow Pulp - Cramps Zoro POV, vibing with being a pirate, actually. realizing he's a lot like Luffy / they have a lot in common. Wants to protect his crew. Part of a family now. But also specifically drawn to Luffy, drawn along with Luffy. Has a nice confident, grungy, fighty vibe. ... Be a better lover, I know that I'm a runner Oh no, I think I've become her There's nothing better than being the protector Out of a routine, the only one I've ever seen I wanna be a foolproof machine There's nothing better, wanna be like Heather I'll take anything That you wanna give But I want everything Everything

3. PUFFY - Friends Forever Mixed POV, perfectly in sync. friends forever. big adventuring vibe. facing the world together. slight nod to whiskey peak. sidenote: it's really annoying to find this song on youtube without scooby doo noises playing over it (official music videos my beloathed...) the "pokemon and their trainers" (...gijinkas) video is the best one for my region at least. ... Just when I thought I had to make it alone You were right there by my side Making a stand holding my hand the way you do There to remind me of a "me and you" When I'm with you all my fear disappears Like if I reach, I touch the sky You've got my back, pick up my slack when I can't see But nothing picks me up like knowing we'll be Friends forever Face whatever Friends forever Yay! we're never gonna be apart You and me, we are so oddly the same The way we think, the way we play Right from the start, so off the charts, about this thing But we didn't know at first that we were making Friends forever Bound together Friends forever Yeah! We'll always be there Oh yes, there also can be times that get rough And all that can be said is "sorry" That we were wrong and said some meaningless stuff And we'll go on together, through any nasty weather Yeah

4. Illuminati Hotties - Sandwich Sharer Luffy POV - flippant & happy vibe. but also visceral, grungy, fighty. kissing. sharing food. "you thought i was bleeding but that's just my spit!!". ... Restarted kissing You said "I'm dreaming" I couldn't stop from laughing Cause it's the realest thing I ever did Taking our clothes off Painting on rooftops Sit back on shingles in the shade, I bare my teeth at future fake outs we had coming Drooling tomato sauce, to make it look legit You thought i was bleeding but that's just my spit Sandwich sharer Unprepared for What comes after this Take the big half I will bite back What you won't finish Until we're finished

5. The Happy Fits - Sailing Zoro POV oops catching feelings for a friend ... My body's achin' My ship's left the shore Your eyes are waiting My knees on the floor And it's been so long Since I had a friend And it's been so long Why can't we just pretend? And I feel your laughter Your warm, open stare And I'm chasing after Somethin' that isn't there

6. The Pillow Queens - Favourite idk just vibes "tell me i'm your favorite" + "i'm being so normal" ... i’ve got no reason to be feeling like you’re mine for the next four seasons let it die, let it die i can’t help hoping that you think i’m really nice want some brief hand holding on the sly, on the sly hey you can say it, i’m your favourite hey you can say it, i’m your favourite

7. The Beths - Warm Blood Luffy POV - Zoro is warm and good feelings. Not "you make me feel protected", but "you are a raincoat". Feels very Luffy. "you really get me" ... Nothing makes me feel like this Nothing makes me feel like this Nothing but you Nothing but you My head is hanging from the roof I'm floating all about the room Because of you Because of you I wanna bask in the rays of the way I feel right now (Ooh oooh) I wanna bask in the rays of the way I feel right now (Ooh warming up my blood) You are a raincoat, you are a zeppelin flight You are a bonfire burning a three dog night You are an isle of calm on a stormy sea You really get, you really get You really get me I wanna be here when you call Pick up the phone and I would fall in love with you In love with you

8. MONKEY MAJIK - Around the World Mixed POV. During timeskip. Counting down the days until we can see eachother again. We'll change the world, make it better, we're training to make that happen. sidenote: the mixed eng/jpn version of this song is my favorite and the one i'm referring to here ... Every night I look to the skies And wonder what we did Always a naive point of view that breaks us in the end If I could find the meaning of it all I’d take the chance Maybe in time We’ll walk the mile and change it if we can It’s now and always (How did we get this far,did we get this far now) Always (We’re making a brand new start, just a brand new start now) Always (Nothing will hold me down, never hold me down now) Always (Wave goodbye to me!) Around the world 新しいことに(with the power to) Around the world 踏み出す力で(step forward to something new) Around the world 世界は変わる(I'll change the world) But don’t run away ’cause if it’s not OK! I’ll change that world Into something better honey!

9. Natalie Holmes - Hideout Zoro POV, Luffy brings light to all those around him, reawakens ppls dreams and leads his crew in to a beautiful inspiring new life :') ... Under the stars, out in the elements If there's no room, there are no elephants When you speak the waves are radiant You've got a face that softens every muscle in my body I’ve never needed all these things to feel whole Something familiar in the love that you provide (And now) I’ve got an empty hideout cause I don't need to hide now The wind can blow out the candle, cause I'm certain I can't fall You've got a face that softens All of the glass I’ve trodden Now I’ve got an empty hideout I don’t need to hide now I don’t need to Something in your love makes everything light up We don’t say a word although we want to Your heart was on the line now suddenly it’s mine There’s something in your love Something in your love Something in your love, in you love

10. Daft Punk - Digital Love just vibes. dreaming. dancing together. having fun. ... Last night I had a dream about you In this dream I'm dancing right beside you And it looked like everyone was having fun The kind of feeling I've waited so long Don't stop, come a little closer As we jam the rhythm gets stronger There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun We were dancing all night long The time is right to put my arms around you You're feeling right, you wrap your arms around too But suddenly I feel the shining sun Before I knew it this dream was all gone Ooh, I don't know what to do About this dream and you I wish this dream comes true Ooh, I don't know what to do About this dream and you We'll make this dream come true Why don't you play the game? Why don't you play the game?

11. Mitski - Stay Soft Mostly just like the bridge "open up your heart like the gates of helllll". But feels more like Zoro POV (thirsty). And touches a little the communication issues these two have ... Fury, pure and silver You grip it tight inside Like a knife, it glints in your eye It's why I've arrived, your sex god Here to take you where You need to go, to where the dark remembers you Open up your heart Like the gates of Hell // I am facedown on my bed Still not quite awake yet Thinking of you, I tuck my hand under my weight Just tell me what you want to do Tell me what you want to burn away 'Cause I could be your stoker

12. Air Traffic Controller - You Know Me Mixed POV. You know me! Perfectly in tune. ... You know me You know everything about me now My heart is in your hands, and you know you could break it But wouldn't you rather make me sing like this? You know me I try to find some good in everything Since you came along, somehow this got easy 'Cause all you wanna do is please me, my love This could be a roller coaster But we're gonna make the most of it Whether on top, or we're going down, you know me You know me (I know you) And how I get when I'm uncomfortable If I'm too hot, or cold Tired, bored, or hungry I'm fine when you're around me, boy And you know me I've never been on time for anything I do apologize, I know it's such a bother I promise to try harder for you, girl, oh I will

13. The Orion Experience - Honeysuckle Kisses Luffy POV. Desires filed away in a very Luffy way "All I want is all my wishes, and I've love to have your honeysuckle kisses". Romance as an afterthought to the great big adventure. ... They say we're crazy, completely insane I don't give a damn, I think we're fascinating We keep it moving and riding this train They can stop and stare But I don't care Oh, they just can't see who we are You and I, yeah We belong to the stars No matter how they try They won't tear us apart All I want is all my wishes And I'd love to have your honeysuckle kisses All I need to fulfill my bliss is Is your honeysuckle, honeysuckle kisses That's what I want

14. The Happy Fits - Around and Around Zoro POV, Pre-relationship, unsure about what's happening due to poor communication. Things are coming to a boiling point. And also "I could see the world with you" - be by your side forever, go on adventures. Do you want that? Do I? Will you have me? ... I don't know what I'm seeing, when the world keeps spinning around my eyes I think I lost my meaning Just another day to survive And I can't keep thinking about it, keep thinking about it Can't be still anymore No, there's nothing so simple about it, nothing simple about it Can't be still anymore I can't be still anymore I can't be still anymore I'll go 'round and around Go 'round and around with you No, don't slow me down No, don't slow me down, will you? And I could see the world with you And I could see the world with you

15. Paramore - Proof Mixed POV, during timeskip. They're apart. Missing eachother. Believe in you, ride or die. So strong! They'll meet up again, even stronger than before. ... It's really hard I can't cry in your arms 'cause you're not here It's not your fault, and if it was, I wouldn't care My heart is bigger than the distance in between us I know it 'cause I feel it beating So strong, it'll knock you down So strong, so strong Over here I can count the miles away from where I wanna be I bet your skin is warm and that you're smiling Yeah, that's what I always loved the most about you So strong, come and knock me down Hey! Baby, if I'm half the man I say I am If I'm a woman with no fear just like I claim I am Then I'll believe in what you say There's nothing left for you to do The only proof that I need is you

16. Utada Hikaru - Chikai (aka zolu "wedding" song. Primarily Zoro POV, making oaths, matching rings, liking someone so much it makes you feel uncool, waaaaaaauughhhhghgh😭) ... I don’t know about fate But this time I have to accept that it exists // Today is a day without lies It's a perfect day for making an eternal vow Don't need pretty flowers or witnesses Let’s wear rings of the same color // What I say now isn't borrowed words It’s not a promise, it’s an oath I can’t go back to being a liar Let’s wear rings the color of the morning sun Let’s dance with our hearts pounding Let’s celebrate being alive in this moment // Kiss me once, kiss me twice Give yourself to me Let’s listen to sound of the sun rising, side by side Let’s swear to live our lives together

17. Best Coast - When I'm with You Mixed POV ... The world is lazy But you and me We're just crazy So, when I'm with you, I have fun Yeah, when I'm with you, I have fun // I hate sleeping alone

18. Gerard Way - No Shows Pre-relationship. Not wanting to be tied down, but also being drawn in to it anyway, idk. ... Been weeks I been living And your smiles are giving me All types of treble Weak knees I been given And those nights are making me Star-struck and metal Stay free, don't go 'Cause we don't need no Try to be living as your vice And can you be my type? 'Cause we need to be given a good life And can I be your type of metal? Stay free, don't go 'Cause we don't need no shows

19. VUKOVI - Colour Me In Mixed POV - Follow you anywhere, die for you, we're one together (you're mine you're mine you're mine!) ... All I am And even more I'll give it to you Couldn't count All the ways That I'd die for you We are one We are whole And I'll go with you Breathing out, breathing in And I loved you again // Where you go, oh, I'll follow Through our bodies in the dark We want it and it's perfect With you in my arms Where you go, oh, I'll follow Through our bodies in the dark You're mine You're mine You're mine Mine

20. Opus Orange - It's What I Do Mixed POV - just vibes. I feel like it describes them but can't explain it ... every time you look for me you know i think i might disappear every time i look for you i know the bright lights interfere ‘cause i’m not the kind that’s so easy to find when you’re looking for me you’re not the kind with the salt water eyes at the bottom of the sea so take my hand we are the blind leading the blind no i don’t have a plan so let’s go where the sea meets the sky now we're gonna float away everything i want to say to you gets washed away downstream everything i want to give to you is a shade of blue or green i’m not the kind to draw straight lines in the desert sand you’re not the kind with peace of mind and a gun in your hand

21. Illuminati Hotties - Toasting Primarily Luffy POV. Just vibes. Short and sweet, flippant and reckless. They cause descruction and just laugh it off, and move on. ... Toasting a Pop-Tart And thinking of you There's a lot I'd rather do Instead I'm biting my lip And I'm biting yours too 'Til the blood tastes like chocolate goo Our bodies Are twirling The kitchen is burning When we both choke down the ashes You mention you're bored I guess I could've toasted more

22. The Happy Fits - Sweet Things Mixed POV after the end of their journey, pirate king and worlds greatests swordsman continue sailing together forever ... So tell me three things, three words that you know about me I'll say, I'll say "won't you come with me, baby?" Nothing lasts forever It's only now or never Tell me sweet things, sweet things that you know about me I'll say, I'll say "won't you bury me, baby? Underneath our loving forever" Don't you take me, take me all the way and then erase me I could be the one if you stay here Underneath our loving forever So take me home Well you say that nothing matters Well you said that nothing mattered except when I'm here with you Does it feel right? (Does it feel right?)

23. The Black Keys - Go Narrator POV - The two boys growing old sailing together ... There comes a time, two hearts of gold Leave together, run forever on the open road They gotta go oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh They gotta go oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh In the winter time, when the day is long You're halfway there, the field is bare And the fire is gone Are you all alone? Are you feeling cold? Find your flame, call her name, and hit the road

24. PUFFY - Love so Pure Mixed POV - love so sure. two people perfectly suited for eachother from the start. mutual trust. soulmates. :) ... I was his from the momentthe we first met From our solo to duet, it took no time Call it fate Or just two hearts magnetized But I never felt so high Since he's been all mine We've got a love so pure, yes a love so sure The kind of love you hold so tight We've got a love so pure, yes a Love so sure The kind of love that lasts a girl for life! With a kiss I can't resist on turn away All I want is him to stay, it's paradise With out a word Nothing heard me say so much With a look or silent touch I know we'll bе all right

25. Tegan and Sara - BWU Mixed POV - don't need to follow conventions to prove their love. ... I love you I don't need a ring to Prove that you're worthy You're under my skin It's easy I don't need a lock to Prove that you trust me I walk the walk To be with you Just to be with you Oh, to be with you Just to be with you Save your first and last dance for me I don't need a white wedding Save your first and last born for me We don't need a white wedding All the girls I loved before Told me they signed up for more Save your first and last chance for me 'Cause I don't want a white wedding

26. IRONTOM - Partners Just what it says on the tin. They're partners. lol ... Partners, we're partners We're partners, we're partners

27. Ashley Eriksson - Arguably Mixed POV - idk, vibes ... Sometimes I wish I was talkin' to you 'Cause you know everybody that I do You would hear my story, and you would agree We are always right on, you and me And you can always count on my company On and on and on, endlessly We're all loving creatures of the same decree But we've got one up on them don't we? Don't we? Arguably, don't we?

28. Animal Collective - The Purple Bottle Luffy POV. Frantic. Explosive big feelings. Can't stop talking --about Zoro to other people, and to Zoro about anything (sometimes i'm talkitive and you're not talkitive, I know...). And idk, the vibes. "purple" as a metaphor for sensuality, feels playful and lovely. But the end of this song really drags on so it's at the end of the playlist lol. ... I've gotta big big big heart beat, yeah! I think you are the sweetest thing I wear a coat of feelings and they are loud I've been having good days Think we are the right age to start our own peculiar ways? With good friendly homes // Sometimes you're quiet and sometimes I'm quiet, (Hallelujah!) Sometimes I'm talkative and sometimes you're not talkative, I know // And my dear dear dear Khalana I talk too much about you Their ears are getting tired of me singing all the night through Lets just talk together You and me and me and you And if there's nothing much to say Well, silence is a bore. // Can I tell you that you are the purple in me? Can I call you just to hear you would you care? When I saw you put your purple finger on me There's a feeling in your bottle Found your bottle, found your heart Gives a feeling from your bottled little part

------

Aaaand that's all of it! Thanks for reading :)

[insecateur]

I'll be standing tall (La Maison-Dieu)

A 10 songs bilingual Sycamore/Lysandre playlist (in honor of Pokémon X&Y's 10th anniversary)

(Unfortunately, I don't use Spotify, so you'll have to make do with this YouTube playlist or look for the songs yourself. But do look under the read more for Lyrics Excerpts and all of that.)

Why a bilingual playlist? Well because I'm a bilingual guy, for a start, and because my experience with Pokémon X&Y in general and this ship in particular has always been bilingual as well (even trilingual, arguably.) I wanted to put together some of my favorite songs in English for them and introduce English-speaking fans to some of my favorite French songs for them, too. A lot of those songs are songs I've quoted, mentioned, or even used as inspiration for art and fic.

(Why is Augustine on the English side and Lysandre on the French side? Because I thought Lysandre would be offended at the idea of being on the English side while Augustine wouldn't care about it as much.)

SIDE A: ENGLISH

Sunburn by Muse

He burns like the sun And I can't look away And he'll burn our horizons Make no mistakes

This is the classic, quintessential PRFR song for me. Its only crime is that it's het, sung from the point of a view of a man singing about a woman. That pesky little detail cannot stop me, however.

Without You I'm Nothing by Placebo (feat David Bowie)

I'm unclean, a libertine And every time you vent your spleen I seem to lose the power of speech You're slipping slowly from my reach You grow me like an evergreen You've never seen the lonely me at all

Do I even need to say anything about this? I listen to this song when I need to make myself Suffer thinking about them. Oh to be unable to bring yourself to say something about your beloved friend's downward spiral...

Hardest of Hearts by Florence + the Machine

Darling heart, I loved you from the start But you'll never know what a fool I've been Darling heart, I loved you from the start But that's no excuse for the state I'm in

My friend sent me this song saying it was about them and they were RIGHT. Shout-out to my friend for that. I like how it can be alternating POV, too.

Changes by The Happy Fits

I try to run away but I find myself, again Stuck in the same place Who will I be today? I can't control the world or change it

This one was suggested by @jonphaedrus and I'm really happy I could have its contribution in here as well. This is very meaningful to me.

Celebrate by Metric

Even the darkest hour soon will be over My friend, it will be over

I couldn't not put a Metric song in there! It was tough finding the right one... But I thought putting a more optimistic spin would be nice, too. I actually associate this song with SLaWCS specifically as well, which is a nice touch.

SIDE B: FRENCH

Pâle Septembre by Camille

Mâle si tendre Au début de novembre Devint sourd aux avances de l'amour Mais quel mal me prit De m'éprendre de lui ?

Did you know? This song is the reason why I associate Lysandre with the Tower arcana. Or at least, it's what put the idea into my brain first. This one is also a quintessential PRFR song for me.

7 Vies by Kyo

La vue est magnifique Contemple-la tant que tu peux La lumière alcaline Le bien, l'ennemi du mieux Tant que le temps défile Tout doit se vivre à deux Je pratique le langage des signes Et celui du feu

I think I should be allowed to include some more vibes songs in there, although I'd argue this one fits them well. It's a bit abstract, but it fits.

Tout donner by Maître Gims

Tu es ma maladie Ma guérison quand tu l'décides Mes nuits s'illuminent J'en confonds le jour et la nuit

A desperate, self-destructive pining song... What else could a man want in this world. It's very tasty. I think about those lines way too often.

Aimer à mort by Louane

L'espoir qui joue, le feu, le froid Un souffle au cou, baiser de roi Pour nous reprendre, pour nous défendre Pour se comprendre chaque fois

Another intense but more optimistic one. I want to believe... I want them to believe as well...

Rouge Ardent by Axelle Red

As-tu trouvé, dans les feux, dans les flammes Ton idéal rouge ardent As-tu froid As-tu peur de l'aurore Tu disais "tout s'évapore" Tu as eu tort

It's a song about being in love with a failed idealist. And also the color red is there. What more can I say. (Also, this time it's originally a het song from the POV of a woman singing about a man, which ties it all neatly together, I think.)

Happy 10th anniversary to all my fellow shippers, young and old, new and ancient, whether you were in the trenches with me back in October 2013 on this webbed site or you joined us in 2021 with the Pokémon Masters revival, thank you for loving them always. Here's to loving them more and more in the future, and here's to the Pokémon X&Y remakes as they become clearer and clearer on the horizon. (And maybe we'll get a Legends game, too? Wouldn't that be something...)

[alliumsduo]

tw for: unhealthy obsession, blood (in the playlist), and fear of abandonment (Let me know if anything else should be added! (stay safe everyone <33))

hi @zethsnex!! i'm your spooky gifter this year for @mcyt-halloween!! i tried my hardest with this playlist (warning: this is my first time making a themed... anything. i went for like three days straight in a private playlist eliminating songs left and right for what would fit and compiled them tonight lol) and i made it as disturbing as i could stomach (which isn't much lmao) but i did my best and i hope it suffices!! below is a more in depth dive of the au !! i hope you enjoy it, this is my first time ever doing smth like this!! :D

i made this a fae x prince au (to the best i could i hope i manifested those vibes into this playlist) but i did a sort of switch, and usually the fae (in this case, techno because i did a prey duo since you chose techno and quackity as characters) would be the one with a very possessive and obsessive personality, i flipped the tables and made q the possessive one. basically in this au quackity is the prince of a kingdom, born from cold and neglectful parents, he finds solace in the very creature he was warned to stay away from, fae. techno, the innocent fae in this story reluctantly (and i mean very reluctantly) befriends our prince quackity through days and days of gifts and forced conversations. quackity gets so close and connected with the fae to the point where he can't bear to be apart from techno. it becomes an unhealthy obsession (shown through songs 27-36) with the fae. songs (12-26) show a brief but wholesome period with prey duo where each other find a sort of safe space in one another, where quackity was starting to realize how much he trusted techno and how safe he'd felt around the fae, which would grow into an unhealthy and codependent relationship. and finally, songs (1-11) show the timespan before quackity met techno, his life in the castle and a brief look into the family dynamics of his (formerly) cold life.

A couple of songs I'd like to highlight:

Step On Me: The Cardigans

I honestly thought this song showed quackity's willingness to do anything and everything as long as techno stayed, and kept being his safe space where he could confide in him about everything anything: even if it meant betraying confidential family secrets.

Absence: Rio Romeo

Quackity couldn't begin to imagine a life without his friend: but could Techno? A song like this conveys perfectly I think Quackity's fear of abandonment: and that he's more than willing to do anything to keep his friend.

Somewhere Only We Know: Keane

Quackity and Techno meet in the same spot every day: In the woods under a massive willow tree, surrounded by deer and flowers. Quackity's family never cared enough to go looking if he ever went missing, and even if they did, no one would know he was hanging with the fae in the woods.

Treehouse: Alex G, Emily Yacina

Do they have a treehouse? No. But the lyrics 'Why can't everyone just go away? Except you. You can stay.' I feel screams to me that Q trusts Techno to the point where no one can just let him talk and yell and scream and not say a word about it. He isn't 'Quackity, Crown Prince.' with Techno, he's Just Quackity. Random guy who ate a cattail plant and was spitting it out for almost ten minutes straight while the fae laughed and made fun of him.

[thevalkyriesshadow]

✨ just imagine ✨

Az and Gwyn finding themselves in Lunathion

They ended up there because they were experimenting with an interdimensional travel theory they found in the Library (probably something along the lines of holding gwydion and TT crossed and touching the onyx monolith on ramiel or something along those lines)

They tumble out of one of the gates (maybe the heart gate or rose gate) right at the feet of Bryce and Hunt ("Well how the tables have turned" Bryce teases)

Imagine Az and Gwyn figuring out how to work a phone. Az would read the manual while Gwyn pushes random buttons.

Gwyn taking endless pictures of Az and playing with the settings. Az in turn grabbing sneaky photos whenever Gwyn wasn't looking. It becomes a game of who can get the most sneaky photos of the other in a day.

Her favorite subjects are his shadows and hands. His are her freckles and eyes.

Az blushes every time Gwyn whips out her phone and starts snapping pictures, but he's a willing participant nonetheless.

Az and Gwyn spending hours just listening to all types of music. Once they start learning lyrics and replaying their favorites, Gwyn puts on a mini concert, singing and dancing on the bed above Az. (He films every single performance.)

They frequent the clubs just to dance and vibe. The first time they went Gwyn couldn't sit still and pulled a grumbling Az out onto the dance floor. Gwyn is unhinged at the club and let's herself get lost in the music. Az watches on lovingly and growls at any male who tries to approach her and pull her from her trance.

They play video games and are extremely competitive with each other. To the point where Bryce and Hunt wonder if they need to separate them because it gets so violent

Like Gwyn throws pillows, while Az pelts her with whatever snack they have out and both throw empty threats at each other ("I'm going to throw TT in the river""you wouldn't dare""wanna bet?"..."remember that glass pegasus figurine in that shop you wanted for solstice?""azriel dont you dare - its the only gift i want!""then stop blowing me up!!!"*blows him up**az is shocked*"id rather buy my own glass pegasus figurine than let you win"*gwyn wins for the third time in a row*)

Az would be like a mother fretting over their child whenever Gwyn would hop onto her electric scooter, making sure her helmet was secure and that her brakes worked.

They love watching movies and TV shows together. Both of them are usually pretty good at guessing the plots or who did it in a murder mystery.

They excel at trivia game shows.

Gwyn's whole world is changed when she discovers vibrators.

And then Azriel discovers it, by chance ("What is this?" "Oh gods..." "And why does it vibrate?" "Az -" "...wait..."*realization hits him...he sets it gently down on the bedside table**walks away blushing**gwyn dies of embarrassment*)

But then both of their worlds are shook when he watches her use it on herself (consensually - no peeping tom foolery, unless Gwyn asks for that down the line 😉), or she asks him to use it on her 🤤

[slutttttttttttttttt69]

Why, In my opinion, "Spiracle" is the ideal song for Sebaciel.

In case you are unfamiliar with the song I am referring to, it is titled "Spiracle" and performed by Flowerface.

I've got way too much time on my hands and I'm seriously lacking sleep, so I thought I'd write this thread.

But before we dive in, let me recommend Flowerface.

Besides having this amazing song, they've quickly become one of my favorite artists and have much more to offer than this.

So, without any more delay, let's get started!

WARNING!

I'm just a teenager looking to have a good time, so please don't take any of this too seriously.

So, I came across this song while scrolling through Sebaciel playlists, and boom, there it was.

Since the very first time I laid my ears on it, I couldn't get enough of that tune. It's got this spooky, eerie, yet strangely comforting vibe that fits perfectly with Sebaciel aesthetic.

Little did I know, it was just the tip of the iceberg.

Personally, I'm drawn to music primarily because of its lyrics. So, it was only natural for me to do some digging on them. Let me tell you, I was far from disappointed...

The first verse goes:

I want the parts of you you only show

To the corner of your bathroom mirror

I want the parts of your hand-grenade heart

That beat slowly with anger and fear

Yall can already guess where Im going with this.

This is how Sebastian sees Ciel from his point of view,how he is expressing a desire for intimacy and emotional connection with him.He is asking to see the hidden, vulnerable parts of Ciels emotions and thoughts. The lines about the mirror and heart represent a desire to create a safe space for him, to let his defenses down and open themself up.Personally, I have observed Sebastian's deeper affection towards Ciel compared to Ciel's feelings towards Sebastian.Ironic.

I want the parts of you you only show

To the birds outside your bedroom window

I want the teeth that you lost as a child

That you hide in a box under your pillow

These lyrics express a similar desire for closeness and intimacy, but with a focus on the Ciels younger self. There may be a reference to the idea of lost innocence, and a wish to go back in time to find those parts of the Ciels childhood that he feels he no longer has. The notion of a box which is hidden under a pillow may represent Ciel's feeling of embarrassment over his experiences, or perhaps his lack of acceptance of the past.

YALL SEE THE VISION RIGHT?

I want your quiet, your screaming and thrashing

The salt on your lips and the hands that God gave you

And I want your violence, your silent sedation

Your moon eyes, your telescope, morbid fixation

NOW THIS IS WHERE IT GETS REAL.

Sebastian is looking for the extremes and complexities of Ciel, wanting access to his intense passions, aggression, and pain. The reference to salt on lips suggest Sebastians hunger and desire for physical intimacy, while the mention of morbid fixation suggests an interest in the dark, twisted, and perhaps taboo aspects of the other Ciels psyche.Not to mention the violence part.

Do I really have to explain further? This verse delves into Sebastian's willingness to assist Ciel in seeking revenge, his patience with Ciel's outbursts, his understanding of Ciel's complexities, and his unwavering love for him despite it all.

And I want your pyro, your born-again virgin

Your hands on my insides, your fingertips crawling

And I want your Jesus, your suicide mission

Your lips on the microphone, soft disposition

The lyrics reveal a longing for intense physical closeness and sexual discovery.Sebastian who is eager to delve into Ciel's raw desires and untamed passion, craving deep and intimate connection. The phrase "born-again virgin" hints at a willingness to embrace his primal urges, showing a sense of surrender. And let's not forget the religious undertones - "I want your Jesus" says it all. Ciel's quest for revenge is his suicide mission.

UGH.

And I want your parties, the shark in your water

The scrapes on your knees and the blood that spills over

And I want your zeroes, your polluted marrow

The sweat on your palms and your surveillance shadow

The shark in the water speaks of a danger or threat, while the scrapes on knees and flowing blood speak of pain and violence. The notion of zeros could represent Ciel's emptiness and absence, while the polluted marrow suggests his idea of a loss of purity and sickness. The line about the sweat on the palms and surveillance shadow ties in with Ciel's paranoia and anxiety. All of these themes show Sebastian's desire to experience the full range of emotions and physical sensations, including those that may be difficult or uncomfortable. I LOVE THEM.

I want your secrets, your clementine fields

The ropes that you climb up, the parts that won't heal

I want your safe word, your passive resistance

The sickness you foster, your favorite addictions

Dude. "I want your safe word" HELLO?

"THE PARTS THAT WONT HEAL" !!!!!

ALSO the mention of the clementine fields can refer to Ciel's of innocence and childhood naivety. The lines about ropes represent Sebastian's desire to explore and heal the Ciel's past wounds.

And I want your nightmares, the ghost in your doorway

Your paralyzed sleep and your *scream*

I want you, butterfly, I want you, sailor

I am your lover and I am your jailor

These are pretty self explenatory,thats why they are my favorite.

Just too much paralles.

This is what I see when they say "I want your nightmares,the ghost in your doorway"

Sebastian's perception of Ciel as a butterfly holds significant meaning, symbolizing hope, transformation, and rebirth. Through his affection for Ciel, Sebastian finds hope and undergoes a profound change, shedding his cold demeanor. The butterflies also embody notions of freedom, earthly beauty, love, and the human soul. Similarly, Ciel can be likened to a "sailor" due to his curiosity, yearning for the unknown, and hidden passion. Sebastian, as both Ciel's lover and literal jailor, perfectly aligns with their contractual bond. Bound to Ciel until the end of his life, Sebastian consumes his soul, sealing Ciel to him until the end of Sebastian's own existence.

Alrighty then! That's the complete song for you. Maybe I'll consider doing "Cornflower blue" next. I really hope you all enjoyed this. And hey, I'd be thrilled if you could drop some comments and share your perspective on this. It would mean the world to me!

[abcwordsurge]

heyyy so while prepping for my ohio / michigan "the Game" fic, I've made a playlist that I might as well share, to get you all hyped. not gonna link the playlist, because my account is connected to my last name, but I'll tell you what's on it!

--

"I'm Ready," AJR

good playlist starter, right? shockingly, this is the only AJR song here, even though I love them to bits

lyric of note: "I won't forget you, but I may forget your name" (because ohio doesn't say michigan's name? eh? eh?)

--

"she likes sports," almost monday

mostly in this for the beat and, y'know, sports

--

"Saturday," Twenty Øne Piløts

there are quite a few TØP songs on here (which is great ofc). personally I think ohio's a fan of TØP, because tyler joseph and josh dun are both from columbus, and I like TØP and I'm projecting

also of note: the Game is always on a saturday

--

"Benny Goodman," Saint Motel

there's also a not insignificant number of saint motel songs here, because I find myself incapable of listening to a saint motel songs without thinking of michigan. no rationale for that association, just the vibes

--

"Choke," IDKHBTFM

because I have to have a few songs on the enemies side of enemies to lovers (and also this is a banger)

--

"Kill the Director," The Wombats

I'm going for a romcom with this story, so "if this is a romcom, kill the director" really does something for me. puts me in the mood to write I suppose

--

"True Love," P1NK

it's so cliche to put this on an enemies to lovers playlist, but I couldn't help myself

--

"We Don't Believe What's On TV," Twenty Øne Piløts

not 100% relevant to my story, but the lyric "I used to say I wanna die before I'm old, but because of you I might think twice" lives in my mind rent free

--

"Van Horn," Saint Motel

this is the song that inspired me to write this story. not gonna give away too much, but you'll see once I start posting

--

"Inarticulation," Rio Romeo

oooh I love Rio Romeo. the lyrics to this song are so fun. also I feel like the "I don't know what the words are but something in me cares about you" theme fits this pairing quite well

--

"From the Start," Good Kid

this was actually written by Laufey, but the good kid version of it fits the vibe better

--

"To My Enemies," Saint Motel

the ultimate ohiogan song in my opinion. I think of them every time. I've already written a fic with a title from this song, and I am endlessly tempted to write another. love this song

--

"Tear in My Heart," Twenty Øne Piløts

I can't believe how long it's taken me to realize that this is, like THE ohiogan song. it's so them you guys. also, imo, an incredible playlist closer.

--

now starts the countdown- 14 days till chapter 1!

(also, @xechoecho88x, what with your music-inspired ohio / michigan series, you might find this of interest)

[passports-pls]

I was very disappointed in the lack of quality Mine playlists so I made my own 🤞

Listen here

you COULD listen to it in your own free time OR you could listen to it alongside my mentally insane directors commentary 😌

(under the cut)

for the sake of this post not getting too long I am grouping all the important songs into different categories pertaining to the different eras of mine tm

Pre-Daigo Misery (Nobody - The Other Woman)

This section is mostly abt Mine being a lonely little weirdo (characterised mostly by the smiths unsurprisingly) and because this era lacks a lot of actual content my notes are less specific between songs

There are actually so many male manipulator songs that fit too perfectly with Mine in this part of his life that I couldn't resist like I'm sorry but creep by radiohead is LITERALLY about him i don't make the rules

Okay but I do find 'Heaven Knowns Im Miserable Now' so funny in this context because I'm sure Mine was forcing himself into the yakuza expecting it to be so much easier to have close connections with these other men compared to his previous 9-5, only to find its almost exactly like his 9-5 just with more crime

'Salvatore' and 'Therefore I Am' are specifically the songs I attach to his bateman-esque grindset and his bubbling hatred for most of the people he works with dsfgf

okay but THE OTHER WOMAN ASWELL. It's literally mine you wouldn't understand. He dedicates so much time to taking care of himself and setting himself up to be an actual catch of a man and yet,, no one gives a shit about him despite all the effort he puts into his lifestyle to appeal to the ppl around him

LIKE??? Kicking and screaming he's so lana del ray coded

Just the sheer depression of this era i feel so bad for him

Yandere-mode activated (Can't Get You Out of My Head - The Killing Moon)

Self explanatory however actually finding songs that pertain to his specific brand of obsession was surprisingly difficult sfdsf

Although I will say that I cope and seethe at the fact that I had to sift through Killing Stalking playlists to settle on most of these songs gfdgsf

Theres such a delicate balance between the right amount of fluff and insanity that very few songs capture without being about literal stalking

like no in this case the stalker fucking won

that and vibes of idolizing Daigo like a god, I think 'Out of Touch' and 'Stolen Dance' do this the best

And freak because I can only imagine in all of Mine's relationships it's always been purely transactional and no ones ever put in the effort to actually talk and get to know Mine in any intimate form.

my poor touch starved blorbo

FEELINGS TM (Romantic Homicide - How to Dissapear)

THIS SECTION I FEEL GREATLY ABOUT

These songs to me are all about how Mine copes with Daigo's hospitalisation and when he wakes up. His whole internal battle surrounding his premature grief and his loss of connection with Daigo because could no longer see him as a truly living thing anymore

'Change' specifically hits when you think about it in this context. Because it's not so much about any real change in Daigo himself it's all about Mine's mental image of him now (because let's be real, Mine was way more in love with the idealised version he had of Daigo more than anything tangible about him)

IFHY is a little more of any iffy choice but I think it still convey's a lot about how conflicted Mine likely felt as well as just continuing his Yandere behaviour just in a much more sinister flavour

Okay but here's where my favourite song of the entire list is

WHITE FLAG BABY

admittedly it's completely self indulgent and ties into the mine-lives theory. But just the guilt and shame Mine felt when he see's that Daigo was indeed alive and that he was going to have to explain the past few weeks to him

yeah i would've thrown myself off that roof as well

also the lyric "I will go down with this ship" paralleling his "everyone abandons ship eventually" line just tickles my brain in the best way

'Door' and 'I Guess' are also just Mine guilt tm as well

'I guess' even more specifically because he's literally attached himself to daigo like a parasite and now he's thinking daigo's gonna break up with him I just AUGH

He KNOWS he's completely fucked up but I don't think he realises how much of a pushover Daigo is just yet and that he would have forgiven him eventually gjfdg

I'll probably update this with more notes as I remember them but for now I hope y'all enjoy the playlist!

[yuseirra]

This is so weird!!?? This is so weird?? Fatal keeps giving me this imagery, the melody of the song itself too. I may be repeating the same idea over and over but I'm so convinced on this, hear me out, That song is literally portraying the mind of a person being driven into insanity, with it's.. ominous and confusing aura all over it, it doesn't seem natural, what Kamiki's went through. I really feel like something's driven him into insanity. I'm not really in denial or anything, but I just find it so confusing and hard to understand because what he is now is WAY FAR PAST how his usual breakdown would have been. It just makes sense if this is the case because he IS the guy Ai's wanted to save. and the songs don't feel... it's really only him that's brought him to be this way, this is a person who gets easily influenced. This is so bizarre. Does anyone feel this way when you listen to those songs? Mephisto's core emotion is longing and sorrow but the lyrics start turning a bit weird in the end with a strange conclusion that the speaker wants to become the one they long (this can be just an expression of determination depending on the context but if you look at what Kamiki's done??? I think he LITERALLY wanted to become like her by increasing his weight of life whatever the heck that is) and Fatal, well, that song has a vibe of desperation and something really, really omnious. I'd say that this reminds me of that one panel from 140 when his eyes started becoming black with this weird.. flow pouring all over it, it's a song of corruption, he's totally become corrupted. Why are the songs like this??

If the timeline goes Mephisto -> Fatal in that order, it would perfectly portray how this guy's mind shattered apart. He's been growing crazier, well, he couldn't stop once he started heading into that direction but again!!! Let me say this again, a person like him cannot become twisted in this direction on a natural level. He showed no aggression towards others as a child. IF HE DID THAT, I WOULDN'T BE CONCERNED OVER ANY OF THESE THINGS. I WOULDN'T NEED TO TRY AND MAKE SENSE OF THIS GUY BC I WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD.

This is just something I intuitively feel, but—

If the emotions are this overwhelming and filled with despair, Kamiki would have followed Ai a long time ago. That’s just how their personality originally was, right?

I really don’t think they could have continued living or enduring it—

But it seems like something kept them from dying back then.

Aqua went through something similar, didn’t he? Is this truly a natural outcome of their thoughts and feelings?

Aqua was also overwhelmed with such despair that he couldn’t go on living, but then suddenly, he concluded that his father was the culprit. The reasoning was weak… and that conclusion turned out to be far from the truth, but it led him to live for the sake of revenge.

Why do I get the sense that something similar happened to Kamiki?

The guilt and despair Kamiki must have felt were likely even deeper than Aqua’s. Given his original personality, there’s no way he could have endured that… He’s always been a genuinely gentle person. He’s mentally strong enough to hold on for the sake of one person, but if he loses that person, he completely collapses. That person was the foundation keeping his mind together. Ai was the last piece in his Jenga tower, and when she was taken away, he just… crumbled.

Even so, normally, this person would never harm anyone…

He keeps singing about how he can’t go on living, and yet, he’s still here, right? He says he can’t escape from the stage, doesn’t he? What exactly happened to him?

I really think something influenced him. It’s too strange. What is the black star, exactly? Whenever it appears, all the characters start acting strangely. Could it be some kind of deity or malevolent spirit?

It’s impossible to explain otherwise!!! There's GOT to be something up with that thing!!!

I can vividly imagine the feelings this person must have experienced, even if it may only be a glimpse: they’re the kind of emotions that you just can’t live with; it's too overbearing and painful I don’t understand how he managed to survive until now, with that kind of personality. If he were a tougher person, he might have forced himself to keep going even when life felt unbearable, but he didn’t have any reason to live, and the logic he held onto wasn’t all that stable, either. (And for him to hold onto it, he had to degrade to the point of hurting others??) It’s like he was persuaded to believe in something, just like Aqua, holding onto a fragile belief… It feels like someone planted the idea when he was vulnerable.

Shouldn’t we dig deeper into this? There’s something really off about it;; If he’d been strange from the start, I wouldn’t even bring this up, but this person was genuinely a good person. How did he manage to stay alive?

I have a hunch, but could it be right?; If the story ends without addressing this, I feel like it won’t make sense. Usually, people don’t end up like this;;

I hope they unravel the hints hidden in the songs.

Oh, they really need to, because I'm SO STUNNED.. from a psychological standpoint. I need to see the process, because he's too different. And even while being that way, the way he usually acts is still pretty...seemingly benevolent and kind, it's like a shell of who he originally was is coexisting with what's crawled inside and taken over his entire heart. It's intriguing and honestly, really sad to look at because he could have still been that person if Ai was there with him. The guy Ai loved is still there, but it's like... that only exists either within the outer layers as a frail skin, or lies only as a fragment as a part of his soul now. The rest, I feel like it's been painted on.

What happened to this guy?? Many terrible things. Yeah, people WOULD break. They would become insane, I can see that too. But in order for a personality to shift this entirely, to this extent?? This guy was on the extremely kind side and he just flipped just as bad to seem like a demon of some sort and I-;; It's DRAMATIC.

I think this falls into the realm of brainwashing or possession. Will I be wrong??? but this is like.. the only way for Ai's wish to make sense and become a reality...By all means, this guy needs to see a psychiatrist or get some exorcism. Pour saltwater. Perform Misogi on him. Something should be done because he's NOT himself. Well Aqua's dunked him into the waters-

but the song!!!!! it sounds like it means something!!! help, I need them to explain this to me because if this doesn't mean anything, I don't get it. I don't get what else this is supposed to be.

[elliestation]

ALYXCAT'S PAWSOME PLAYLIST - MY FAVORITE PARTS OF MY OWN ALBUM

I WANNA…i love the stereo space in this track. it just feels so wide to me and im being hugged by my guitars. im just so proud of myself to making this so quickly as proof of concept that i could make something really good if i just chose to have fun.

ANYTHING….the first and last verse of the song was written by my girlfriend. she wrote a song for our first anniversary that turned me into a SOPPING WET CRYING MESS and i had to reference it in some way. i ended up making this song for this years anniversary with a bunch of cute art i doodled with the lyrics on it…she cried and i was so glad.

TRACK THREE. this one encapsulates what writing this album felt like to me. everything was in perfect alignment. i feel like i really cracked the code. like i finally crossed (krossed haha) a hurdle that i'd been stuck on for many years of my life. its so corny and full of things i love about the songs i love, but thats the point. this is the song that taught me to embrace the rough and scrappy drafts and ideas and throw my feelings of inadequacy to the side. Polyana's verse really cemented this for me too because she just freestyles at the end and it just felt right to keep it in. TLDR: this song taught me to trust my gut. i love it so much.

HEADSPACE. i wrote this song after having a "regular" conversation with someone in my family and i was realizing i was dissociating as a defense mechanism whenever a specific sort of interaction would occur. i've always wanted to write a song that gets really intense and is really grand, rough, and intense, and this song really did it for me. its the first time i really appreciate my singing and screaming voice in its natural range, so im glad it was the first one on the album to feature it.

RECHARGED. i wrote this on a bad day but originally as a joke to make myself feel better. the starting sample is actually a stupid deku meme put through many layers of botanica ass sound design to hide it. i got a bunch of funny reactions from my friends after showing them. i actually did feel pretty refreshed after making this. enough to keep moving forward for the day <3

HOLD ME (sunglare from the sun). aside from the weird title shit thats going on with this track, this song is about a conversation i had with myself. my weeks kept feeling like moments of drowning mixed with the most euphoric times of my life on repeat. as much as i wanted to give up on everything i held dear to me, some part of me couldn't let go and encouraged me to keep going. despite all my self-sabotage, a part of me still had some fight left. the way that this song progresses is something that i never thought i could ever accomplish, and im glad that fighting side of me won because i would have never made this song without it.

CANT LET YOU KNOW. the person that this song is about changed my life. i know that the chorus and all that sounds like they sucked, but really i can't help but hope they're doing okay. though i may be afraid to tell them to their face, i hope they find this song and know that im glad they were apart of my life. i just love how corny this song is and I LOVE POLYANA'S VOICE SO MUCH. okay anwya yeah I ALSO LOVE THIS FUCKINNN OUTRO ITS SOOOO PRETTY TO MEEA AAA

SENTIMENTAL ALIBI. kros… FUCKING. KROS. THIS GUY IS MY FUCKING GOAT. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. THIS SONG WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE ALBUM!!! i made a little sketch one day and sent it to him just to hear his thoughts and HE CAME BACK WITH A WHOLE VERSE THAT MATCHED THE VIBES PERFECTLY WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT! and it ended up becoming the WHOLE SONG and one of the biggest projects i've ever worked on. for this entire album being the first times i've ever started working with people, im SO GLAD that my first experiences have results like this. these people have become such important pillars of my life and im so glad we were not only able to communicate that into a song together and work so well together doing it. my fav part of this song is the final climax…this is the first time i really sang my heart out on a chorus,,,,,and I LOVE HOW IT SOUNDS!!! THAT USUALLY NEVER HAPPENS!!!

TAKE A STEP. this song pushed me with the sound design a little and im really happy about it. when i hear this song i always feel a bit of me choosing to be a little hater and cringe at the conry ass message i have in this, but strangely i feel such comfort knowing i can look at those feelings, accept them, and move on despite them. i may think its stupid, corny, cringe, whatever. but i'll keep following those feelings because they have only led me to create this entire project. i will keep taking a step towards the realest parts of me no matter how fucking stupid i sound because its the only way to grow. im really glad this is the last song on the album for this reason.

the entire album means so much to me because this (and hopefully future projects too) will continue to serve as reminders of the lessons, memories, and joy i experienced when creating this project. dare i say, i would need a Sentimental Alibi to free myself from the nostalgia of this project.

i really hope these messages resonated with you <3 thank you so much for reading.

love you, stay safe.