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#{ He is lovable and kind-hearted. He would make a lovely partner in my eyes. }
yuichiroswife · 2 years
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GO THROUGH A MORNING ROUTINE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT KIND OF NPC YOU ARE
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Romantic Interest.
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Ooooh so you're romanceable. :))) And even if you personally are not (and are some flavor of aro/ace) know that there is so much about you that is just romantic in the ways that a painting or poem can be romantic. There's this softness, beauty and emotion to you that is magnetic to people, and you get more complex the longer people know you until all of the sudden it clicks. You're the character that gets explored a lot more deeply than others, or should be, as the more anyone learns about you, the more wonderful you become in their eyes. Even the things you aren't a fan of within yourself are details that humanize you to others and make you this tangible, living wonder. So don't hide those parts of yourself away, they are beautiful in a way that the important people in your life will or already have learned to marvel at. <3
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Tagged by: @crxstallium​
Tagging: Steal it from me and make sure to tag me.
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wooahaes · 7 months
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svt - with a shy partner
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pairing: non-idol!svt x gn!reader
prompt: svt with a partner who is shy(/kinda anxious).
genre: mostly fluff. established relationship in all.
warnings: reader getting anxious. some food mentions throughout. alcohol/clubbing mentions in soonyoung's (reader has a shitty time) + mentions of reader having shitty friends in soonyoung's. seungkwan yelling at someone being a dick in his. vernon fakes sick. usage of 'dude' as a term of endearment in vernon's. minghao being affectionately evil. chan being a lovable menace for a moment to distract them (teasing + tickling reader). intentional lowercase, no proofreading.
daisy’s notes: sorry some of these are longer than the others, i just wanted to write mostly affectionate sweet established relationships. also this is probs veering into anxiety territory at some points im sure.
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choi seungcheol
seungcheol knew that you loved him softly. this would never be an issue with him: some people simply weren't loud when it came to loving others, and he was never going to turn away your subtle touches and loving words. being outgoing was hard for you even now in life, where seungcheol had learned to manage it well. therefore, he knew how to take care of you in social situations. he would lead conversations when you were faltering, and he always stayed close to you just to give you someone to latch onto when things were getting to be too much. shy as you were, you still tried sometimes.
and now he was on his way to save you from yet another conversation with the only two friends of his you allowed to tease you.
joshua was snickering at whatever jeonghan had said to you to make you shrink into your sweater (the one that matched seungcheol's, with the heart patches on the elbows), and you looked as though you might drown yourself in the soft fabric if jeonghan didn't stop. but seungcheol knew as well as you did that all it would take is you saying a firm 'quit it' for both men to back off. they were harmless, through and through. but the moment seungcheol was close enough, you already sought refuge at his side, burying your face into his sweater. he could feel your face burning hot.
"what are you saying to them now?" seungcheol rolled his eyes, arm wrapped around you. "are you trying to kill them?"
"all i did was point out that you two are matching again," jeonghan hummed. "it's not my fault they get embarrassed when i point it out."
joshua rolled his eyes. "cheollie to the rescue again."
"shua!" you peeked back at him, lips pressed into a very cute pout. "cheollie, they're bullying me again..."
seungcheol fought back a laugh. that was always how these things played out. jeonghan and joshua, two of your longtime friends, would tease you a little, and then you would pout at your cheollie while he protected you. hell, the latter half was usually how seungcheol saved you from other silly things. he'd been the "excuse me, they asked for no pickles" kind of boyfriend to you time and time again... mainly because he knew you'd hold your tongue otherwise, trying not to bother people. but with these two? you were comfortable playing this little game.
so seungcheol squared up a little. "are they?"
jeonghan rolled his eyes. "here they go again." and he grabbed joshua by his elbow, leading him away with an excuse. if seungcheol hadn't been matching you, maybe they would have played... but something about matching anything gave seungcheol this weird boost of strength.
seungcheol rolled his eyes in turn, wrapping his arms around you as he turned his attention away from them. "i'm glad you're okay with them, you know." he let out a blissful sigh. "it's cute to see you embarrassed."
"cheollie..." you pouted again, eyes meeting his own. you glanced around the room, suddenly acutely aware of how you'd been holding onto him. no doubt your face was burning hot with embarrassment again. "can we go home now?"
he chuckled, leaning to kissing the top of your head. "we can," he promised. "let's go."
yoon jeonghan
if there was one thing that endeared jeonghan to you, it was the cute flustered expression you had whenever he started flirting with you. no matter how long the two of you had been dating, all he had to do was call you adorable to see your eyebrows shoot up, lips agape as you made some comment about how the two of you were 'past that' now. his favorite moments, however, were these: you were trapped on one end of the couch, legs draped over his lap, and he was toying with you idly. sometimes it'd be admiring your hands, or complimenting your hair, or pointing out how much he admired you sense of style...
today? he'd been pinching your cheeks with that wicked giggle you loved (even if you refused to admit it sometimes). "you're just so cute," he snickered. "i'm so lucky..."
"hannie..." you whined, eyes still pinned to the tv screen. "you're missing it."
your face was burning hot underneath his touch, though. a little win in his book. "i'm trying to appreciate you right now," he teased. his gaze flickered back to the tv, where the male lead was (finally) confessing his love. "what does he have that i don't?"
"jeonghan, i--'
"do you like him more than me?" he teased you further, leaning in. "i could be him. he couldn't be me, though."
your gaze met jeonghan's as you pouted a little, yet never pulled away from his touch. "jeonghan..."
"i'll re-do my confession to you," he dropped one hand to rest on the outside of your thigh, leaning in. that jovial expression dropped for a moment as he became completely serious for a moment, playing it up all too well, "i'm in love with you. do you... could you be in love with me, too?" he traced your bottom lip with his thumb. "i know you once loved joshua, but--"
and that was your breaking point as you pushed his hand away, already snorting. "jeonghan!"
before you could try to dive away from him, jeonghan had wrapped his arms around you, that airy laugh punctuating his break in character. he pulled you back in, head resting on your shoulder. "you're too easy to mess with," he giggled. "you should have never told me you had a crush on joshua, by the way."
you rolled your eyes, snuggling in. "noted."
joshua hong
joshua knew how to calm you down when your shyness was getting the better of you. he wordlessly wrapped his own stretchy, bead bracelets around your wrist, and ran his thumb across the beads. you told him once that it helped you for some reason (you'd never figured out the cause), and that had been enough for joshua to always keep at least one bracelet on him. even in a formal event like this. you had made the sacrifice of coming to his work event with him, the lead he could do was ensure you were taken care of.
one of the higher-ups had struck up conversation with you, and joshua knew that it made you far more nervous. you'd answered their questions as best as you could about your own work, your college, your life... and the occasional stammer was enough to give you away to him. joshua knew you were terrified of slipping up, of saying the wrong thing. he'd been the one who spoke for you in several other situations, but he knew what other people would think if he kept doing it. he shouldn't speak for you. or, even worse, that you were rude for not speaking for yourself. he could stand people thinking badly of him, but of you?
he'd silently rolled the bracelet off his own wrist while no one was looking, and pulling it over your own when pretending to inspect your watch. it looked out of place at this formal event, but it was fine. he kept a hold on your hand, thumb running across the beads. for a moment, you looked at joshua, and then gave him the subtlest of smiles before resuming your space.
when he brought it up, you already had an answer. "it's because you're there with me," you told him later that night while sitting outside of a burger place. you'd been stealing his fries, but he didn't care. he was out of that place, and so were you. you could take everything if you wanted. you'd already taken his heart, what else did he have left that wasn't yours already?
"but you know that." he said. his tie was loose around his neck, the top few buttons undone. his jacket had been left in the car he left parked down the street. the two of you needed a real meal after the appetizers (or the 'horse divorce' as you had whispered to him to get him to laugh) were barely enough to feed either of you. "i'm never gonna leave you alone in situations like this."
"i know." you averted your gaze when you said it, ever the bashful one when it came to acknowledging his affections. "i just... i like it when i know you're there. and i like wearing the bracelets you make. it just makes me feel more connected to you, if that's okay."
he leaned over, lips pressing against your cheek. "that's always okay," he said, voice softer. "we're a team. i've got you, alright?"
you smiled again that same sweet smile he'd kiss goodnight forever if you'd let him. "alright." and then you snagged another fry from his meal, eyes flickering up to meet him. "thanks for being on my team, shua."
for you? he'd be anything you needed. teammate, cheerleader, manager... just say the word.
wen junhui
"you forgot them."
jun wasn't afraid to speak up for you. seungkwan had been getting a head count of the group since he'd been the unlucky volunteer to go back inside the vacation home to get drinks, and he paused immediately at jun's casual statement. his gaze flickered over to where you were sitting next to jun, visibly flustered, and everyone else had suddenly shut up.
"huh?"
jun waved it off casually. "you forgot to count them," he said, arm curling around you. "just don't forget to get their drink."
"it's okay," you squeezed his hip gently. "i could have gotten my own drink--"
"seungkwan lost the game, so it's his job," jeonghan called out from his spot on the other side of the fire. he was always so mindful of you and how you got timid when around the full group. "don't be sorry about it."
"seungkwan should be sorry," chan said without missing a beat. "he's the one that forgot them."
mingyu caught seungkwan by the back of his shirt before he could step towards chan, instead pulling him back into his arms with a lighthearted laugh. "i'll help you," he said. "come on. let's get everyone their drinks."
you watched the two wander off, fingers already curling around the edge of jun's shirt. all you had to do was give it the slightest tug to earn his attention. "you didn't have to do that," you said softly.
his brows raised a little. "hm?" he looked toward where the pair had left. "did you want to get your own drink?"
"no, i..." you pursed your lips. how did you say 'i'm used to being forgotten' without it sounding bad? you were typically the quieter one in a group. if you weren't with your close friends, then people seemed to overlook you by accident--just as seungkwan had done. "it's normal for me, that's all."
"it's his job, though," jun said, as casual as he could be about it. "if you wanted to get your own drink, that's fine--but it shouldn't be because he miscounted."
if it wouldn't net him a little teasing, you would kiss him here. even a chaste kiss on the cheek earned teasing with all his friends present. so you just snuggled in, knee pressing against his, and gave him a quick squeeze around the middle. it was subtle enough no one would comment on it.
"thank you, jun," you said softly. "i..." get nervous with large groups. but he already knew that.
even if it earned him a little teasing, he leaned in to press a kiss into your hair. "i've got you," he promised. "don't worry. i'll always remember you."
kwon soonyoung
all of this fucking sucked and there was no place you wanted to be more than home. but you were always a bit of a pushover, always the person who said no to going out, to going to clubs, to doing things in highly busy places when you could barely move... and yet here you were, completely miserable. why did your friends even invite you to places like this now? you'd compromised with them in the past (clubs that were a little less packed than the one you were in, or going to karaoke to drink and sing so they could get loud if they wanted), but it felt like those days were slipping away now. you hugged yourself tight, trying to make yourself smaller as you kept to a side table while they danced their hearts out with strangers. it was too loud and too cramped, and your drinks tasted disgusting, and you'd swallowed your struggles for the past few hours. when was the last time your friends did something you wanted to do...?
then your phone lit up. tap tap?
you responded in kind: tap tap.
be there in ten!
soonyoung had established this system with you forever ago. he'd gone off talking about his experience in martial arts and that tapping out was basically the way to get out of it all. you'd expressed a little confusion over the subject: wasn't the point of martial arts to, you know, to fight? but he'd played with your fingers idly, humming to himself as he considered the way to explain it simplest.
"everyone has different limits," was what he had settled on, looking up to meet your eyes that day. "so if you meet your limit... just text that to me and we can leave. no one has to know what it means."
you gathered your things as silently as you could, just to ensure you still had your belongings at this point. you danced with your friends earlier, only to tap out of that when you wanted another drink. someone had said something raunchy to you, and been kind-of a dick when you tried to innocently mention you had a boyfriend (then why are you even here?). thus you sentenced yourself to the sidelines. out of sight, out of mind, out of trouble.
soonyoung didn't seem to care that he was in his sweats. no doubt he sweet-talked the bouncer into letting him in to find you quickly and leave, because he'd already taken your hand the moment he made his way to you. he guided you out of the place, waved to the guy, and made off with your hand in his.
"i don't like these friends," he said outright once you were far away enough and your hearing was starting to return. your head still felt slightly fuzzy from it all. "why do you let them treat you like this?"
you'd been friends with this group since college. they went out clubbing then, too, but they had never pressured you to go with them then--and they still made an effort to do fun things they liked that you also liked. when did that start changing? you counted back the time. longer than six months ago? a year? what changed--
you looked at soonyoung. oh. that's what changed. soonyoung came into your life and gave you a safe place to be yourself. and around then, that's when your friends had begun making comments about how you were always so 'safe' and too timid for things. pushing boundaries was good, right?
soonyoung took your hands in his. "you shouldn't let them force you into this so often," he said, voice gentle. "i know it's hard for you to say no, but... you look miserable still."
you shook your head. not tonight. please not tonight. and soonyoung nodded in kind, squeezing your hands.
"my housemates are home watching movies," he said. "we can make more popcorn! i washed your spare clothes so you can get all comfy," he beamed at you. "but if you don't want to hang out with them, we can watch something in my room instead. is that better?"
you liked soonyoung's housemates. you shook your head. "can i sit between you and jun?"
he giggled, kissing you gently. "as long as you don't mind him cuddling with you, too."
with soonyoung around... you were more okay with anything.
jeon wonwoo
you had never believed in soulmates before, but if you had to pick one... you were pretty sure wonwoo was it. the two of you had met through a mutual friend (one kim mingyu, who was your loud, loud neighbor at one point--but also the guy who brought over food when you were sick and took care of you when you had no one else to help you), who had turned to you and said he knew someone perfect for you. the two of you met in a bookstore for your date, and the rest was history. wonwoo put you at ease faster than anyone had ever done before, and you were sure that it was because the two of you were alike.
case in point: it was saturday night, and wonwoo was spending it with you. "with" being used loosely: he wasn't talking to you, mostly muttering under his breath to himself, nor were you doing something together. he was curled up on the couch, playing a video game by himself, while you were happily doing a jigsaw puzzle today. saturday was cozy days in this apartment. fridays were when the two of you ventured out. sometimes you went out for dinner, or went to the movies, or went to a mall just to explore for hours. sometimes you were joined by friends, other times it was just the two of you. but that's how things were with you and wonwoo: the weekdays after work could be spend doing whatever the two of you wanted to do. the weekends were for relaxing at home, save for the occasional party (usually birthdays, but you made your fair share of appearances outside of those) the two of you made plans around.
being with wonwoo was easy. his introverted nature seemed to go hand in hand with your shyness. he was okay with speaking for you when you were particularly nervous with people, and he was equally fine holding your hand when you felt okay enough to speak up. he never judged you. being with wonwoo was safe. the most he ever did were the gentle chuckles that sounded from him when he was admiring you, finding tiny bits of your behavior particularly endearing.
"wonwoo?" you called out. he pulled off one set of his headphones, peering back at you for you to continue. "i love you."
his gaze softened. "i love you, too." he didn't turn away yet, though. "are you thinking about something?"
he always seemed to read you easily (you were his favorite book, in his humble opinion). you averted your gaze, already feeling the heat flood into your cheeks. being with wonwoo was easy, yes, but your shyness always seemed to take hold when it came to your feelings past those three words. "i just..." you fiddled with your fingers. "i was thinking about you. and... you're always really kind to me, you know? i don't have to, y'know, worry about messing up with you. i can... i can just be me, timidness and all."
wonwoo just seemed to admire you now, the softest smile on his face. "right... because you accept me as i am. i like this," he gestured a little to the room in general. "we don't have to go out all the time and do things. it's like..." he trailed off for a moment. "you're going to make fun of me."
you waved a hand, "no, no, just say it. i won't, i promise."
"we're cats." he paused when he heard you snort a little in response, but continued. "you've seen them before. some cats just laze around each other, and that's enough because they're spending that time together. we don't have to be doing the same thing... but just knowing we can spend this time together shows me that we love each other." he paused again, waving a hand, "not that i don't love doing things with you! it's just nice to know that we fit together."
"like a puzzle," you said absentmindedly. it earned a soft chuckle from wonwoo in kind.
"yes." he set aside his controller, making his way to you. "like a puzzle." he pulled out the chair across from you. he'd reached out, picking up a piece. "may i?"
"you may," you giggled, watching him carefully put it into place. "wonwoo?" you reached forward, brushing his hair from his eyes. "you're my favorite puzzle piece."
he chuckled warmly, cupping your cheek for a moment. "you're mine, too."
lee jihoon
the relationship you had with jihoon was maybe one of the slower ones anyone had seen. it wasn't for lack of attraction at all--anyone who spoke to you or jihoon knew that the two of you had fallen for each other. but for the longest time, both of you grew flustered when it came to skinship in public. the most either of you could handle was holding hands through busy crowds. the moment one of his friends noticed and called attention to it? you separated. it was why soonyoung, seungcheol, and vernon became jihoon's defense squad: if someone noticed that jihoon was holding your hand or arm or anything... one of the three were there to keep them from commenting on it.
and their jobs were harder now that jihoon had brought you on a trip with them all. he wanted you there, you needed a break from work after saving so much vacation time, and having a group of friends present made things a tad easier and also harder. easier because you didn't have to worry about things being awkward with you and jihoon, and harder because holy fuck, jihoon had a lot of friends. you'd ended up attached to vernon out of all of them. something about the guy's laid back nature put you the most at ease (wonwoo was right next on that list, though).
"hey, um..." you had tugged on his sleeve to get his attention, always so careful of other people's boundaries. "i know what you're doing."
jihoon had looked up from his phone, eyes flickering from you to vernon. "huh?" he paused, voice soft, "has he been bothering you--"
"no! nonono--" you waved a hand. "no. um. jihoon. you brought it up last night."
vernon looked between the two of you. "what?"
"you tell the others to knock it off anytime they see us touch at all," jihoon said outright. he was good at that when you were starting to shy away from things. "it's not a big deal. we're adults."
truth be told, it was usually mingyu who brought it up. but the others gave their fair share of loving teasing toward jihoon when they noticed the way he held tightly onto your hand at times, or the loving way he gazed at you. they always took glee in watching his face turn redder and redder. but you... you had always been a different case. jihoon could handle the teasing: he wouldn't stand it for you, even if he knew it was coming as a symbol of their acceptance toward you. you needed to say if it was alright first, not them.
"i just..." you were getting flustered over it. "i appreciate it. i like you guys a lot, but it gets kinda embarrassing when someone like jeonghan teases us like we're teenagers on a first date."
"they're shy," jihoon ran his thumb along the back of your hand. "not a kid."
vernon looked between the two of you, and something clicked. there was this understanding between the two of you that no one else had quite understood yet. all of them knew how jihoon was when it came to skinship: he didn't want to be treated like a child. and you, with your shyness, could be seen in a similar light. maybe that was why the two of you clicked so well. something about yourselves could be misconstrued and used to speak down to you, and both of you recognized that in each other and respected the other's wishes.
"yeah! yeah, i get it," he nodded. "i'm glad you guys have each other."
you averted your gaze, lips forming a subtle smile. "thanks," you said, voice quieter than before.
the two of you separated from vernon after a little more conversation, and he watched as jihoon flexed his fingers before clutching your hand in his own. and when no one was looking, he leaned in, whispering something into your ear before kissing the skin right in front of it.
the two of you were happy. and that was all that mattered to any of them.
lee seokmin
seokmin knew that, as well as you could mesh into social situations now, there was one thing that made you more nervous than anything. and that was when pictures were being taken.
he had his fair share of candids of you saved in his phone for his eyes only (or, well, his eyes and anyone who caught a glance at his home screen--his lockscreen would always be a picture of the two of you). pictures with or taken by seokmin were in this different realm of 'safe,' according to you. hell, pictures taken by you were safe, too. but he'd seen the way you tried to duck out of pictures constantly, always uncomfortable when they came up in mandatory situations.
so when he saw the wedding photographer's assistant making his rounds to grab pictures of the guests during the reception... his hand tightened a little around yours. he leaned in, lips grazing your ear for a moment, "just stay close to me and i'll block what i can, if you want."
you had been confused at first, only to spot the guy a moment later. you glanced down at yourself, brows drawing together. being a distant face in the wedding video during the ceremony had already been a little nerve-wracking, but photos of you... you looked at seokmin, a deer in the headlights. "i..."
you told him once that you didn't like pictures of yourself because you felt out of place in them. it all came from a lack of confidence that you managed to find when you were in control, or when you were seeing yourself through seokmin's lens. he clutched your hand tight, guiding you away from where you'd been sitting together, watching others dance.
"seokmin, wait," you tugged him to a stop as he guided you toward a side door. "you don't have to. i can go by myself--"
he shook his head. "he got pictures of me when i was dancing with minghao earlier," he said. "we can go outside for a minute, okay? you can't avoid all pictures tonight, but..."
you already knew that: hence why you were avoiding these. you were already tired, clothing a little less neat compared to this morning, and all you could think about was how thankful you were for seokmin. you squeezed his hand. "okay," you said softly. "then... lead the way."
(and if mingyu snapped a picture from a window of the two of you walking outside... then you were okay with it. just this once.)
kim mingyu
if there was one thing you were thankful for, it was that mingyu talked about you constantly. you weren't exactly the most outgoing person, always a little too nervous when it came to people you didn't know... and with a silly, loving boyfriend who also happens to be incredibly handsome, some people were all too eager to flirt wih him. as much as it made you a little insecure (and a lot more jealous, to be honest), you trusted mingyu wholeheartedly. mainly because you'd seen the way he reacted when people started flirting.
"i'm married," was his go-to now. neither of you were married (mingyu said he was fine marrying you as much as he was fine not doing it: he was committed to you, period, and didn't need papers to say that if you didn't want them), but the rings you wore were wedding band-adjacent. you had wanted a pair that looked simpler because your work could dirty your hands sometimes (thus you wanted something easy to clean), and mingyu liked the sleek look of these compared to the others.
sometimes you swore he took a little too much joy out of flashing his "wedding band" at people. he told you once that it was because people always backtrack so hard, it's a little amusing.
except when you were standing right next to him. that was when mingyu pulled you into his arms, giggling like a dummy (your dummy, always) as he showed off his ring. "we're married, actually," he would say. "aren't they cute?" he giggled. "they're still so shy after all this time..."
the person had wandered off, face burning with embarrassment, but seungcheol rolled his eyes from where he was boxing up your chocolates. "for how long?"
mingyu smiled, arms still securely around you. "ah... does the time really matter?" he swayed a little, dragging you along with the motion. "we're together for life. that's all that matters now--"
"you suck at lying." seungcheol smiled a little when that earned a snort from you.
mingyu just hugged you tighter. "someone has to do it!" he nuzzled your head. "and i like doing it. did you see their face when i said we were married? it's cute."
seungcheol rolled his eyes. "so i've heard."
"are you saying they aren't cute?" mingyu's voice became more serious now. would he be pouting if you turned to look at his face? you weren't sure, but with mingyu... you felt like it might be a safe bet. "they're right here. don't be mean to them."
"if i called them cute, then i'd never hear the end of it from you."
something about the way they continued to bicker like brothers finally earned a laugh from you, hands holding securely onto mingyu's arms. it stopped him there, and he immediately dove around you to kiss your cheek.
"see?" mingyu said. "they're cute. shyness and all."
xu minghao
"cute."
you looked up from your book, curled up on one end of your couch. minghao was smiling at you, head propped up by his hand as he leaned against the back of the couch. you knew this smile too well now: something inside that cute head of his had stirred awake and decided now was the time to tease you. you'd seen stoic, serious minghao plenty of times, alongside the wittier, snarky version of your boyfriend you had fallen for after he made one snappy comment back at one of his friends... but playful, silly minghao would always be your favorite flavor of him. except for when 'silly, playful' meant complimenting you. minghao knew compliments were your weakness in life.
"hm?" you sounded, hoping that maybe you heard him wrong. "did you say something."
"you heard me." that same smile greeted you now. "you're cute."
shit. shit. this was already a losing battle as you shrink down against the couch, the hood of your hoodie being dragged up. "hao... don't."
"hm?" he reached out, pushing your book out of the way--just enough that he could see your face. "don't what? tell the truth? you know i think you're cute, why shouldn't i say it?"
"it's embarrassing." you looked away.
"we're the only ones here, my love." your heart rate spiked for a moment: not the 'my love'. he knew what those words did to you. your ears were burning now, and you continued to hide yourself in your hoodie.
"still..." you already knew he had won this, whatever it was. you shoved your bookmark into your book, setting it aside as you continued to hide, tugging at the drawstring from your hood to close it around you. your voice grew higher as you finally confessed, "you're cuter."
"we're not talking about me right now," he had begun to move in. "you're just proving me right, you know. you're cute." he nudged your knees aside as he propped himself up over you.
this man was going to be the death of you.
he tugged the hood away from your face, string coming loose with ease. "see?" he poked the tip of your nose. "cute. it's a fact."
all too easily, you gave in when he wrapped his arms around you, tugging you so that you could be closer to you. he folded himself around you, burying his face in your neck as he breathed out a happy sigh.
"is something up?" you asked quietly. "i mean--i don't, up, i don't mind the sappy stuff. just..."
"i'm fine," he pecked your neck, nose grazing against the underside of your jaw. "just needed to love you louder today." he paused, raising his gaze to meet yours as he leaned around you. "is that okay?"
with a sigh, you settled into his arms. "yeah," you mumbled. "always okay. thank you for asking."
boo seungkwan
this was mortifying. what if you died right here? would that be better than witnessing this? chan had an arm around you while vernon was trying to pull seungkwan back. you just wanted one nice night with your boyfriend and his friends, and now seungkwan was very loudly arguing with someone who had said something not-so-nice about you relying on him so much. you were fine when it was just the four of you, but seungkwan knew you. he knew you struggled with being heard: hence why he reiterated your request on your behalf.
"they're my partner and i'm not going to let you speak about them like that!" he balled his fists. "just because they won't complain doesn't mean you can insult them to their face!"
"seungkwan," vernon pulled his arm harder. "dude. we're gonna get kicked out."
"fine!" he said, looking back at vernon. "i don't care! he was rude to them and made fun of them--they don't get to insult anyone i love like that!"
"seungkwan," you called out, finally getting his attention. you shook your head. "it's okay. let's just go."
he stole one last glance at the asshole he'd been yelling at, before taking a breath. seungkwan pulled away from vernon, making his way over to you as he took your hand. the four of you left, heading back outside as seungkwan immediately rounded to face you once you were far enough away from the place. he waved for the other two to go on--he just needed to speak to you alone. seungkwan took your hands, squeezing them gently.
"are you okay? did i ruin our night?" he frowned, pausing as he tugged at your sleeve to fix it back into place. "i would have let it go if he didn't make fun of you."
"it's okay," you said. "i'm sorry you always have to do this for me."
he blinked. "hm?" he looked back. "that place was busy. vernon didn't hear you, so i made sure your request got across." he paused, realization hitting him. "not that it matters now..."
"you guys can go back without me," you said, pulling your hands free. "i'm gonna go home."
"but--" he stepped forward. "you don't have to. we can go somewhere else." he paused for a moment. "i'm sorry i started yelling at him. i..." he took a deep breath. "i love you, and i don't care that you get shy or nervous or whatever you want to call it. i'm happy to talk for both of us if that's what you need me to do." he paused. "do you really want to go home?"
you nodded. "a little."
"then i'll go with you," he took your hand. "we'll come back out another night."
you squeezed his hand. "seungkwan?" you interlaced your fingers with his. "thanks for having my back."
"thank you for having mine," he pecked your cheek. "i'll always be here."
chwe vernon
the moment you turned the corner, vernon immediately straightened up, all signs of 'illness' seeming to disappear entirely. it made you slow to a stop, hand leaving his as you stare at him. was... was that why he was so insistent on not taking a cab home? he'd said the night air might help if you walked a little, but...
"alright. where to?" he turned, phone already in hand. "there's that dessert place you like. wait, did you eat? we could grab something else instead--"
"i thought you were sick." you sounded dumbfounded, and vernon blinked.
"you wanted to get out of there." a true fact, but you hadn't said it to vernon yet. "oh, dude. you get this look on your face." he made his way over to you. "like... you looked miserable. so i figured i'd take one for the team and pretend i'm sick so you wouldn't have to come up with an excuse again."
your cats could only get sick so many times without people wondering if something was wrong with them, after all.
you frowned. "you didn't have to do that."
"i kinda did." he took your hands. "like... i saw the look on your face. the 'please stop asking me about work, and my relationship, and my life, i'm going to pass out' face. remember that work thing you took me to? you did that face there, too."
maybe you loved this man more than anything.
"so... where do you wanna go? we could go back to my place. i've got popcorn, we could steal seungcheol's netflix account again, watch something dumb."
it earned a giggle from you. "he knows, right?"
"you haven't seen the new profile he made last week." he pulled you back with him, letting you follow his steps, "named it freeloaders. we're not the only ones using it, y'know."
you giggled again. between vernon, mingyu, and wonwoo... you weren't surprised seungcheol knew the netflix account was getting used by more than just him. they shared accounts, after all. he was using vernon's disney plus account often enough, mainly to get to hulu.
"just say the word if you ever want me to make up something, by the way," he squeezed your hand. "i know you get bad with people sometimes. let me handle it, alright?"
at least you had vernon in your life to make it all easer.
lee chan
chan chuckled. "it's okay," he said as he felt you bury your face in his neck. "i don't think he'll think anything of it."
chan was beyond used to seeing you flustered over the silliest little things. while he replayed his own slip-ups later on, you wore your emotions plain on your face after finishing a phone call with your close friend (and the guy who introduced you to chan), seungcheol. you'd slipped up and said an innocent 'love you!' to him, something chan always saw coming considering you'd long-since confessed that he felt like family to you. he saw the regret on your face for saying it so casually to a friend when it took you forever to say it to chan, and now he was fighting back the urge to laugh as you whined.
"he's never gonna let me live it down."
chan patted your back gently, chuckling a little now. seungcheol definitely wouldn't let it go--at least not to chan. "you're close friends! friends can say they love each other."
"i know, but..." you squeezed your eyes shut. "it's embarrassing. he didn't even say anything back and--and you know how cheol is."
that he did. chan heard your phone chime, and reached for it to steal a quick look... only to see seungcheol had texted you back: CALL ME BACK >:(
"baby?" he held up your phone, waving it in front of your face. "he's waiting."
"nooooooo," you whined again. "he's gonna make fun of me."
your phone began to ring. chan didn't hesitate to answer it, putting seungcheol on speaker. "they're dying, cheol."
"they didn't let me say it back!"
you buried your face further into chan's neck. of course seungcheol took it in stride--and of course his real problem was that you didn't give him the chance to say it back. chan let out a snort, hand curling around the back of your head as he gave it a quick pat.
"you're killing them still. you know how they get with affection."
you knew seungcheol was rolling his eyes with that annoyed sigh he let out. "they're like family. i wasn't going to be mad until they hung up on me before i could say it."
the affection truly was killing you. chan had seen you bury your face in his neck before, always too embarrassed to just accept the sweet words of anyone--especially himself. he called you one night to drunkenly ramble about his affections for you, and immediately apologized when you broke your favorite mug while you were mentally malfunctioning. even now, he felt the way you grabbed at his shirt, face burning hot with embarrassment. this was the reason why he could never arrange a surprise party for you: you might pass out if so many people broadcast their love for you at once.
"so?" seungcheol said, and you could hear someone laughing in the background. mingyu for sure, and someone else. "ignore them."
"love you, cheol," you mumbled. "sorry i hung up earlier."
your apology was met with a warm chuckle. "it's okay. let me know when you're coming over for dinner again," he said, and then paused for a second, "bring your boyfriend, too."
chan gasped in mock offense, as though he hadn't been sitting there the entire time. he hung up the call, and immediately wrapped his arms around you. "you love me more, right?" he teased, just to see that cute pout on your face. he'll kiss it soon, too.
you averted your gaze, face burning hot now. first cheol, now chan? "you know i do."
"say it." he poked your side, just to watch you squirm. "or else."
you could feel the way his fingers were starting to tickle your sides. "chan!"
all too easily, he'd made you forget about your nervous blunder as he dove forward to kiss you amidst your giggles. "say it!"
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taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny
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witchthewriter · 2 years
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Hi there lovely! Here’s my information for the Sons of Anarchy Ship/Match-up
Features: I’m a female, standing at 5’6, I possess long light brown hair with a tint of redness in the sunlight. My hazel eyes change each day from green/brown to brown/gold. I have the sun and moon tattoos on my thighs, a shark up my side torso on my ribs, half an arm sleeve and a neck tattoo revealing my zodiac sign – Gemini (which I often hide) I’m slender with curves.
Hobbies: I am a workaholic; it becomes my hobby at times. I work in the funeral home, removing the deceased from the POD. I enjoy my free time spent with my dogs, my fierce Doberman and my lovable, motivating exercise collie partner. I enjoy reading all things Stephen King and James Patterson and playing any horror related video games. You guessed it, I’m a strong advocate for the horror genre, and Freddy Krueger will always have my heart. I watch SOA and SPN religiously whenever I tilly tally around the house.
Personality: Often seen as an outgoing, happy go lucky, eccentric lady (This is from first judgement from people I know) When really, I’m rather introverted and possess way too dark humour. I collect knives, different types ranging from a replica of the SPN demon blade, to a jungle machete. These are all encases in a glass shelf, only used for display. I love to make others laugh, and I’m incredibly loyal to those I care for. I don’t practice religion (I support others who do) as the only thing I believe in, is the reaper.
Aesthetics: Not sure if this is a term but my house is very much cabin like. Wooden beams, brown features, brown clocks with black accents. I love this kind of theme, heavily decorated with green plants and fish tanks.  
Likes: Lover of being at home, with my man and the dogs. Also a lover of all things spooky. I enjoy long hot showers with my candles lit in the shower itself, It’s so peaceful. I love to read, whether it be books in my hand or online. Sadly, I am a smoker, so my time alone on my patio having a cig is therapeutic to me. I adore time spent with my little family or my close friends whether it be going to the pub for a beer or shopping at Walmart for new bedding 😊 Coffee is my best friend.
Dislikes: My biggest dislike in this world, is seeing animals mistreated. I am that person that buys the near dead betta fish at the pet store and brings it home to treat and watch thrive. I dislike SNAKES. They just scare me, but don’t wish any ill will on them. Hypocrites are my triggers, can’t stand someone who preaches to the choir about wrong doings when they’re actively just as guilty. Own your shit is my motto.             
Brief fun facts about me!
Used to train canines for search work, in areas such as narcotics and explosives. My closest friend is my grandma. I love to wear black. My go to perfume is good girl. I play COD often – I’m competitive in nature. I wear the SONS rings as I got them custom made, and it’s my favourite accessory!
I put way too much into this post, but hopefully it’ll help lots with finding my best ship! Thanks for taking the time to do this 😊  
Want one? Here be the rules 🦋🌈
You LITERALLY sound like a character from Supernatural?!?! Are you sure you aren't Bobby's long-lost daughter or something?
Also being a canine trainer?! Um... are you the coolest person in the goddamn world? I think so.
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𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏
𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑶𝒑𝒊𝒆 𝑾𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏! I think you guys would be such a perfect match. In a way, you remind me of a cool-ass version of Donna? You seem very strong - emotionally, mentally and physically. Opie is a quiet guy, very loyal and genuine. You don't have to worry about him being manipulative or having underlying motives. He practically wears his heart on his sleeve but does his best not to show it.
𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔
・You’d both be very level-headed and know you can trust the other. Opie is incredibly loyal, and if you showed to him the same loyalty, then nothing could come between you. 
・I think Opie would put on a brave face to watch horror movies, and he finds some scenes funny. Although he gets tight-lipped when there’s a lot of gore (feels a bit guilty?)
・He’d actually like one of your favourite horror movies, and love getting themed gifts from you
・Opie would love staying at home with you - you two would move in together and make your home a paradise. You both have a similar aesthetic. Cabin, rustic, and cosy, Opie would absolutely adore your dogs. 
・I think you would fit in with the club very easily. Gemma would be wary of you at first, but realise you aren't someone that's easily pushed around. You would definitely grow on her without realising it.
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theboysfromaustin · 2 years
Text
February 17, 1972
"Shirley."
She and Ian were alone for the moment. "Yes, Ian?" "The surgeries…" He didn't have to say which. She knew. "Do you….want them?" "Yes," her voice wavered, "More than anything. But the cost is…" Ian leaned forward, taking her hand, "I want to help you." "Help me? What do you…" She trailed off, her voice becoming stern, "Honey, no! You have you to think about you, and…" "And I'm a lawyer. I help people. I have a house. I have an awesome car. I don't want for anything. You and Maureen, you…" He blinked back tears,
"You two have helped me so much. I want to return the favor, so that you two can live your best lives. You've been there for me since I became an attorney." "Ian, you're such a kind young man. So many people haven't accepted me because of…" She swallowed hard, "...Since I'm transgender…" "What matters most is in your heart. I was ashamed of myself for a long, long time. I thought I was a freak. When I came out to Maureen, and she said you two were lesbians, it made me feel so much less alone."
"Recovery takes a long time, I'd…I'd be out of work, Maureen would have to cover the mortgage, power, water…the cars….not to mention food…" "No, she wouldn't." "But…" Ian's voice was firm, "I'm not going to let you destroy your savings or have to struggle. You're my adopted mothers, and I…" Ian's voice cracked, "I love you both, and I'll move heaven and earth for you."
Shirley stared at him, tears in her eyes,"Ian…" Then she grinned, "The man you love is gonna be the luckiest son of a bitch in the world." Maureen entered, tray in hand, "Here we are! Hot tea, and…Shirley, why are you crying?" "Our son, our wonderful son has offered to pay for the surgeries." Maureen nearly dropped the tea tray, "He did?!" Shirley nodded, wiping away tears, "Not just that…everything while I heal."
"Ian!"
"Mum, if I didn't help you guys, I wouldn't be a very good attorney or a very good son." "You're so generous, Ian…" "Anything I can do, I will…
You two are my family."
—-
About a month and a half later
Ian stretched, yawning, blinking sleepily against the light. He got up, carefully remaking the bed, and stepped out into the hall, padding softly into Shirley and Maureen's kitchen. He opened the cabinets, pulling syrup, flour and sugar out, and the fridge, grabbing butter, eggs, milk and bacon.
He hummed to himself as he worked, pulling out a pan, whisking things together. He put the bowl aside, grabbing fruit from the bowl to chop. He heard a door open, and turned to see Shirley limping down the hall. He set the knife down and rushed to her, "Mum! You shouldn't be walking!" "I'm fine, kiddo!" He got her to a chair, and fetched a cup of coffee. Under her robe, he could see the bandages around her chest.
"Are you alright?"
He kissed her forehead, gently hugging her shoulders. "Pain, but I took meds, itchy stitches." "You do have a lot." "Sitting hurts." "Let me get you a pillow." He went to the other room, grabbing one off the couch, bringing it back to her and picking his bowl back up to finish whisking.
"What are you making?" "Crepes, eggs, bacon. Fresh fruit and syrup for the crepes." "You're out-gaying us, kid. I'm lucky if Maureen makes me a Pop-Tart." "I…don't know if I've ever seen Maureen cook. I'm always bringing in Top Notch and Tamale House." "Oh, she cooks, but she doesn't like it, which is why I do it."
"I see more cooking and food-fetching for the next few weeks in my future." "Don't you know it." Ian chuckled, "Good thing I love cooking. And it's nice not cooking for just me." "You need a partner, honey." "I know, I know! It's hard, though!" "You need someone like me….but a guy." "A lovable smartass that's fiercely loyal?"
"Precisely."
"What are you two up to?" "Making brekkie." "Keeping our boy company." "You should have gotten me up, Shirl." "Didn't want to wake you. You were out like a light." Maureen rested her chin on Shirley's head, "Don't push yourself, my love." "I won't," Shirley touched Maureen's hand as Ian began to cook. "Just tell me what y'all want for lunch and dinner, and I'll go to the store."
"You're too kind, Ian."
"He'll be a good husband one day."
"Bold of you to assume we'll ever be treated as people."
"So young, so cynical." "I'm 32." "He's so cute." "Awww, I'm cute." *You are. Don't let it go to your head." He grinned, prodding at each pan. Shirley winced, "Man, I could use some weed…" "I can make pot brownies." "Love you, son." "I wanna get blazed, too." "Oh, we all will. Maureen, go grab some from the greenhouse." "Can do, chef stone-baked," she stepped outside. "Thank you again, Ian." "I'm so glad I ran into her all those years ago as a rookie lawyer. That I got to have you two as my mums," he chuckled softly, smiling, "Really helps with missing my mum…"
"She'd be proud of you, kiddo."
"I hope so…miss her…." Maureen came back in with a basket of weed. "Ah, wow, that's a lot." "Well, it's getting tall." "We're going to space today." "Yeehaw." Ian laughed, turning out another crepe, "This really is nice, though - a family, unconventional as we may be, all spending time together."
"The family that gets high together stays together?"
"Something like that - and I wouldn't have it any other way."
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missgeniality · 3 years
Text
Opaline Moon (m)
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“The Moon can never breathe, but it can take our breath away with the beauty of its cold, arid orb.” - Munia Khan
➺ Banner: @hobiandsprite​ 💕
➺ Pairing: Seokjin x Female Reader
➺ Trope: Friends to Lovers, Idol!AU
➺ Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff
➺ Rating: 18+
➺ Word Count: 11.2k
➺ Summary: You are ingrained to love Jin, right upto the blood that courses through your veins. Confessing, however, is a whole other game. So it’s a good thing you’re bad at keeping your hands to yourself, because happenstance can handle the rest. 
➺ Warnings: talks about dance floor fucking, making out in the bar bathroom, fingering, pussy slapping, passing out drunk, daydreams about thigh riding, reader masturbates, they make out A LOT, neck kissing, a hickey, nipple play, some biting, cum eating (kind of, you’ll see), blowjob, protected sex!, reader and jin are corny, the hurt is real but the sex is real-er
➺ Author’s Note: My lovely, lovely moots - @taegularities​, @kithtaehyung​ and @baepsaetan​, thank you so much for betaing this and hyping it up, your comments made this fic a hundred times better! As I mentioned on the teaser, this fic took a lot out of me, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing the angst and will write more whenever the story aligns! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing, and I hope this lovable Jin reaches your heart! (ngl, in usual fashion, I will come back and edit it again, so if you see a spelling mistake, your eyes are lying to you) Do let me know what you think, your asks and comments make my day!
This is the second part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!
ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
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Sweltering heat. Blaring traffic. Little to no sleep. Through all things wrong, one man’s thoughts wrapped around you like a cooling breeze, a shield to protect you from the vicissitudes of reality, to draw you back into all of him. Unfortunately, your reality may never see that day come to light.
Kim Seokjin.
Kim Seokjin, the man who cooked you up a greasy break-up meal at three in the morning with not a sight of discomfort, putting your needs above all.
Kim Seokjin, whose puns make you roll your eyes heavenward, half awed at how he manages to pull one out of his collection at a moment's notice, and half irked by the untimely laugh it brings out of you.
Kim Seokjin, the man who will never be yours, and you have no one to blame but yourself. 
One could argue that the miscommunication that had caused this present condition was two-way. If you had stopped him, corrected him, let him know the truth… you wouldn’t have to resort to the extreme measures you’re currently entangled in. One would also say, you are trying to redeem your mistake by trying too hard. Surely, everyone and their mothers could see through your ruse. 
This is the fourth time you’re visiting Jin for his BE shoot - a shoot taking place two hours away from the city, disguised under various layers of secrecy to prevent any leakage of the album concept, or Jin in general. Of course, you had been made privy to such exclusive information, because you and Jin were ‘best friends’. 
Best. Friends.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Best friends. The term you coined for (and forced upon) the bond you had. The bond that was too close to sprouting into something new, something fresh, something that was filled with glimmering allure and dragged you in like quicksand. But also, it reeked of commitment, of shadows, of newness that you hadn’t felt in the longest time, and fear of already being far too deep in without even taking the first step. 
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The loud thrum of some internet kid’s new hit pulses through the air of the club as bundles of couples occupy the dance floor, laughing and gyrating to a song that, in your opinion, most definitely does not suit gyrating. But with enough of the weekend happy hours intake combined with hormone-riddled minds, one could very well throw it back to a church choir. 
You weave through the drunken bodies, trying not to spill the precariously held three drinks in your hands, making your way to your inner circle, the only people to blame for dragging you to this slosh-fest.
“Y/N!” 
Somehow Hoseok’s voice can echo across the club, but you didn’t even need his addressal because Jin’s laughter is loud enough to navigate anyone to your table. Seeing you struggle with the glasses (and mostly the crowd, with some of them living their exhibitionist dreams), Hoseok gets up to assist you.
“I swear, if I see one more couple pretending to be dancing as they rub one off of each other’s thighs, the black market will have my eyes.”
“Oh yeah?” Jin’s breathy voice interjects your black-market dreams, still bursting in short laughs from whatever sent him rolling before your arrival. “Why don’t you go join them?”
“And whose thigh is she taking, yours?” Yeji snorts out, one hand holding her nebula blue drink, the other wrapped around Hoseok, urging him to come closer. Jin’s features scrunch into a cringe, and you’re thankful for the dim lighting because the disappointment in your features does not reach them.
“The only action these leather pants are getting is in the damned laundromat,” he points to his shiny trousers, “some jerk dropped his drink on it.”
“You could be the first person to give some chick an orgasm and a yeast infection.” Hoseok giddily adds, his fifth shot clearly making a mess of his brain cells. 
Jin claps and gets up to move away from the group. “Better than a pregnancy!” he yells, before zigzagging through the crowd, possibly to the restroom. He is on his third cocktail, and you’d think cocktails are lighter drinks. But in this bar, their taps just seem to flow with tequila, and it is very evident in the way Jin is currently walking.
His absence hits you harder than you think, but it might be the alcohol talking. Jin has always been the mood-maker of the group, the one who brings everyone together. Of late though, his magnetic persona has been an irritant in your life. Any outing you two take, any chance you have to come clean about the burgeoning crush you have on him, is effectively disrupted by one of his posse. And today, Hoseok and Yeji took that trophy. 
“Earth to Y/N. Has the cocktail finally broken you?”
You flutter your eyes in a manic fashion, to disperse the daydream you were indulging yourself in, and bring your attention back to the couple calling for you. Surprisingly, they have stood up, Yeji emptying the last of her neon drink. 
“What happened?”
“We are going to the club nearby, they have better stuff. And that’s code for ‘they actually add water to the drink and the surround sound doesn’t shatter your ear drum’.’” 
She isn’t wrong. The cocktails and music here are a 19-year-old frat party dream, not something the working class can digest. But you’re tired at this point, and don’t want to be smothered by someone else’s love life when your own is down the dumps.
“You guys carry on! I’ll tell Jin where you are and he’ll meet you there!”
You watch as Hoseok and Yeji lead each other to the exit, hands circling their partner’s waist. They giggle on and on, about nothing and everything, and it only hardens the emptiness you feel inside you. 
Why can’t you gather the balls to spit your feelings out? What could possibly go wrong? Yes, you may lose one of your closest friends, but is this friendship really worth the agony? The bitterness you feel when you see any couple enjoying themselves? The anger you harbor whenever Jin tells you about his dates? The heartache, when he hugs you and tells you that you’re the best thing that’s happened to him… as a friend? Is it? Your plastered brain tells you to not make any rash decisions, so you don’t, instead choosing to get up and search for your best friend. 
The corridor leading to the washrooms is dimly lit, throwing a merlot filter over your eyesight, making you squint in search of your friend. You being shitfaced does not help, and while relishing in your floating wooziness, you see Jin come out, and feelings you’ve held at bay for so long slither through your currently porous defenses. 
He has always been good-looking. He himself has said so a dozen times.
But wow.
His hair lays messily atop his beautiful face, unkempt, like a breeze of beauty swept across his mighty looks and displaced every strand, causing disarray, but even the disarray only frames his superior looks and adds to its potent charm. The black, patchy sweater hanging loose off his broad shoulders makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel as a friend. That stupid gut of yours is currently screaming, yelling for all hands on deck, trying to block all the feelings from gushing in and sending you into overdrive.
By the time you can gather yourself to stop from giving in to those dangerous thoughts, Jin has crossed the distance between you, coming close, too close. Chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul, searching for whichever fantasy you chose to lose yourself in. His eyes flit down to notice your rumpled dress that has found its way a couple of inches above its designated spot. His gaze returns to yours, but not without a newfound hardness, an almost steely glaze over the kindness that you usually find in the chocolate pools, accentuated under the garnet lighting. 
“Hey, umm…” You beg for a reprieve, from your thoughts, from your filthy mind, from the way he is eyeing your cleavage, or just for the burning between your legs. You’re about to make some serious mistakes, you can feel it down to your bone.
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You’re far too overdressed. 
You knew it when you were in the process of getting dressed, but right now, you feel it much more - you look like a shiny disco ball orbiting amidst the plethora of loose tees, leggings and flannels. Everything screams comfort, because the amount of work they’re putting into this begs for it. 
The strappy lace sundress you wear is extremely out of place, the halter-neck tie behind your neck fastened a little looser than necessary, giving your breasts the exposure they deserve, a nice valley view. Your dress skirt, adorned with pretty frills and dainty flowers, cut across your thigh to frame your petite hips. You are one floppy sun hat away from an extravagant Greek cruise - and in the moment you wish you had one to hide your face in shame. 
You’re just out here, trying to escape the zone. 
“Oh, would you look at the time, it’s tits out Tuesday already?”
Your eyes roll before Sanghoon even finishes his sentence, because you wouldn’t expect anything else from him. On the team of the set design, he is carrying a whole drapery worth of plush, mauve curtains, struggling with the slipping fabric. But apparently not struggling enough to stop him from getting his nose into your business, it seems.
“Literally not even a time you just mentioned. Can’t get one thing right.” You can’t stop yourself from stretching a hand out to feel the curtain fabric, the satiny sheets begging to be touched. Before you can though, Sanghoon moves away, not allowing you to shift the focus of the conversation.
“Don’t steer away from the facts. Your tits.”
“That’s the fact?”
“They’re out.” He bucks up, trying to point with the hand stuffed underneath all the cloth. “That’s the fact.”
“Ugh, can’t a girl dress up once in a while?” The pointed attention makes you uncomfortable, because everything he’s insinuating is true. With every passing staff member, you count a new shade of grey, interspersed with occasional blacks and greens, a stark contrast to your floral overtones. Amidst the thousand footsteps taken in your vicinity, only yours are pointed heels, echoing across the studio with every clack. But you’re a stubborn one, refusing to give in to his totally valid argument. “I just woke up early.”
“Girl.” Like light through frosted glass, he sees through your bullshit, but only partially. “You put an alarm to dress up? I have nightmares of the boss brandishing her whip and telling me to get into position, and even that doesn’t wake me up.” 
“Have you ever considered… not announcing your kinks to everyone and their sisters?”
“Ehh,” he simply shrugs, “nothing is new when you’ve serenaded your boss drunk in a karaoke bar and still managed to keep your job. Wait. Is that highlighter?”
“Stop staring into my tits!” You can’t believe you got caught, but also, who can you blame? After testing this outfit out from the crack of dawn, you decided your cleavage needed some extra help. Three YouTube tutorials and one TikTok lady - who make it look far easier than it is - down, the contouring brought out the swell of your breasts, and against the light fabric of your dress, it does look too good to be true.
Memories of that night in the bar come in billows and waves, of how enamored Jin was with the way your boobs looked at that time. Even under the dingy lighting, in the cramped space, under heavily inebriated scrutiny, you couldn’t miss the flicker of heat in his gaze every time it passed your chest. 
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One thing led to another, and it was a cascade none of you could stop. The heat of attraction between you two does not help your wandering mind, and the fever drowns the knowledge that what you’re feeling is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, crossing some lines that can never be mended back again. With the proximity, his musky scent invades whatever defenses you were trying to patch, piercing through all your inhibitions and you pull him into you, claiming his lips to be yours. 
With his wobbly knees and your wobbly heels, you somehow find your way to the washroom - mostly he does, you give in halfway to wrap your legs around his lean waist, his sturdy legs balancing your weight on them as your back hits the wall, and his lips tear down your walls. 
“You look so fucking sexy today,” between bated breaths and indulgent sighs you confess, “just driving me nuts.” Letting your hands drag along his abdomen, feeling the ups and downs of his abs, you attempt to rid him of the sweater that’s been on your hit list all night. But to your dismay, your endeavor is blocked, when Jin gathers your wrists in his palm, turning you around to bend you over on the countertop, the smooth marble chill hitting your braless chest, perking your nipples under the cold. 
“And you?” Jin bends to give your earlobe a languid lick, progressing very slow, a complete contrast to the movement of his hips as he ruts against your ass, your already short dress bunching up with every move. “You think it’s smart to have your tits torment me like this?” Grabbing a handful from behind, he tests the weight of each fleshy mound, and by now you are certain your perked nubs can pierce his palm. 
His free hand, not yet torturing you, decides to get in on the action and disappears under the counter, swiftly crossing the bunched fabric of your dress, gaining easy access to your pussy. The cold touch of his pads sears against the heat of your core, finding your pleasure button and languidly fiddling with it, with no intention to cross you over the brink in sight. The only pleasure you can indulge in is the reflection of him abusing your nipples, pinching and tugging them down, whispering filthy words into your ear as he takes in your fucked out countenance. 
You feel lacking, weak hands balancing your dizzy self, finding purchase to keep you upright - but you’re both drunk on alcohol and hypnotized by his beauty to do much more than stare at his mirrored counterpart. “For fuck’s sake, kiss me.” 
How he understood your slurred words, you don’t know, but you are glad he did. In a moment you’ve been displaced, the hurried motion sending your neurons into a flurry. Once your back meets the hard marble, and your eyes have the privilege to see his, you pull him in closer, the force enough to hold you against the wall while your legs wrap around his lean waist. 
Originally not a fan of drunken misadventures, that side of yours is strangely mute to the going current onslaught. Well, you don’t have much breath left to say anything, because Jin is efficiently stealing it all, his teeth clashing with yours as you engage in the messiest kiss ever known to mankind (or at least, to you). He changes pace often, dragging his tongue leisurely against your lower lip, conveying tacit words, just to switch it up with a sharp bite and reel you in. 
One corner of your senses can feel his fingers messing around your cunt, and playing with the wetness your thong can barely contain. It makes you shudder, the damage that his fingers can cause solely circling around your hole. 
“Fuck me.” 
In your drunken stupor, you don’t know if the words leave you right, but you get confirmation when his long fingers finally penetrate your cunt, giving your walls something to clench on - although nothing could possibly compare to what you imagine you can get from his dick.
“God, you feel that grip,” he grunts, with two of his fingers in you, and Jin’s smile is the most sinister you’ve ever seen. “I think we should take this home,” is what his lips utter, but his fingers delve deeper, searching for the spot that crumbles you. The base of his palm grinds against your throbbing clit, and you are forced to bite down on this sweater, lest an embarrassingly loud moan escapes you and cues outsiders into your filthy doings. 
“Now,” you half-hiss, half-growl as you grab the cusp of his legs to feel his half-hard erection grow under the pressure of your hand. Your palm sliters up just to go down again, this time without the blockade of his pants, but you are stopped short of success when Jin’s fingers slip out of you to give you a sharp swat. 
“Stubborn, aren’t we? Can’t fucking wait,” he whispers into your ear, and as he envelops your lobe with his cushiony lips, he continues, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
No, no, no. 
Your brain rejects logic, chews and spits it out before any of the rationale seeps into you. You have wanted this for far too long. The need inside you for a meaningful relationship materializes in the form of recklessness, desperately looking for surface-level relief for the moment. A night of sewing sutures to your battle-worn heart, stitches that may come off at the slightest strain - but right now, that will do. 
“Please, Jin,” your tantalizing tone riles up his cock again, eagerly waiting for your next words, “can’t you feel me dripping? Come on, I can take you.”
“Fuck, hear that wetness.” He lets his palm slap against your sopping entrance, not stopping with one. With every slap, droplets of your arousal splash out, the insides of your thighs coated in the sticky sweetness, but your body is an endless reservoir producing plentiful more for Jin to play with. “Have you been sitting with this all this time?”
Two long fingers invade your channel again, leaving you with no response other than a gasp. They scissor incessantly, preparing you for what could be the railing of your lifetime. One curl inside and his fingertips hit the spot he was looking for, making you warp your body to take the pleasure coursing through your veins. His tongue seems to mimic the actions, looping around your earlobe as he sucks it inside, both ends of your body engulfed in all the attention he could provide. 
Your cunt is weeping against the assault of this man’s hands, tears of your cum flowing down your legs with every pump of his arm. You are getting there, the sweet swell of release inching closer and closer.
But something doesn’t feel right.
The tightness in your belly, that is to a point caused by Jin, is harboring other sensations that are not entirely pleasant. Maybe you’re anxious about the happenings. Maybe you haven’t had a good orgasm in a while and have just forgotten how this thing works.
Or maybe, the bar should have the water tap actually give out water.
Either your eyes close, or your brain does, but suddenly all you can see is darkness.
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 Again, you are just trying to escape the zone.
“Step under those studio lights,” pointing at the too-bright stage lights being set up at the moment, Sanghoon continues, breaking your daydream, “I bet you could signal to aliens with the booby-reflection. Call them to Netflix and chill.”
“In about five seconds, my heel will be puncturing your eye. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” 
Sanghoon’s drivel was cut short, and so were your murder plans, with his entry. “Oh look, he’s on set. Gotta go!” 
It’s like the lights, earlier threatening to burn away your skin, dim down in reverence of the glow of his face. The twinkle of his eyes when they meet yours. The shine of his smile when he throws you one. The vibrance of his tone when he calls out your name. Everything he does now threatens to burn you whole and it’s a wonder you’re not scalding, but the singe hurts you deep inside.
“Y/N! How do I look?” It’s a bathrobe. Like satin, or silk. Fucking hell, your brain could explode with the adjectives coming up, a whole chunk of them very much inappropriate to utter out in the current scene. Your arms want to rise, engulf him into you, and you have to physically halt the muscles from doing anything stupid. Brain, quick! Say something snarky and spicy, as best friends do!
“What’s the theme, unicorn puke?” The safest way to deflect is to attack. So you do just that. “You look like you dressed out of Hannah Montana’s closet. Which if it's true, I really need to see it. There’s a top that I’ve been eyeing for decades!”
“Don’t say decades.” Jin’s eyes crinkle in humor. “Makes me feel so old. Your dress is pretty cool too!” 
Cool.
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You find out how difficult life can be when you count every single minute of yours. So far, you have counted 4,310 minutes. That is two days, twenty-three hours, and fifty minutes. Ten more minutes and it will be three whole days since you and Jin spoke. 
Yet again, you can’t blame him. When you came to the next day, you were in your bed, clad in the same shimmering silver bodycon that you had donned last night. The same one that had been privy to the colorful deeds you had committed in what was a dreary, colorless setting. 
One ibuProfen and ginger ale, downed with some severe recollections of the previous night, and you had been ready to throw it all up again. 
I don’t want to hurt you.
Words couldn’t describe what you were going through, and numbers weren’t invented to count the endless thoughts racing in your brain. You don’t know what is more upsetting. The fact that you actually had a chance to open your heart and you totally let your pussy think instead? Or that he was the one coherent enough to stop you from getting too far, and you let your desperation get the best of you? Everything about that night was wrong. And all the wrongs lie on your side. 
I don’t want to hurt you.
In the moment, it was physical, he had to have meant that. But there was a tremor in his voice, you can remember clear as day, a slightly shaken side of him had emerged through the intoxication, and the words he had breathed were not shallow. There was a gravity to them, that you’d stupidly ignored in the heat of the moment.
And now, here you are. Counting up till the last minute, after which you can effectively call the friendship ruined. Stirring your tea mindlessly, you try to focus on the show on TV, the variety show comedy not striking the usual funny bones that they could 4,311 minutes ago. 
The programmed ding of your phone bursts your thought bubble, a sound you have missed the past 72 hours. The ring you dedicated to Jin, that always had you running to receive because anything he sends brightens your day. But unlike those happier times, this ring has your gut fall into a pit of despair, struggling to choose between dispersing the suspense or remaining blissfully unaware of the damage you caused.
Jin: Free tmrw? We could grab coffee Jin: And talk
Talk. How? You barely remember what went down, save for fleeting moments that you recollected with great difficulty. Your fingers type back, trying to mimic the nonchalance in his text, that is very much absent in your actual demeanor.
Y/N: Sure. Paik’s at 1? Jin: Yup. See ya
Three texts, zero laughs. Of course, you’re not expecting him to land his jokes in this situation, even someone as talented as he can’t flip this tension. You’re just going to have to wait for tomorrow, when he decides whether you have a place in his life or not. 
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The painstakingly worn outfit, accessorizing the whole look, the straps of your heels digging into your toes, the specks of makeup dust lying stale on your collar bones, the shine faints at that word. Cool. A perfectly normal phrase for a normal friendship. You are left maimed, while he absent-mindedly tends to the rope of his robe, blissfully unaware of the cyclonic emotions churning inside you. All you can possibly do is gulp it down. 
He runs his hands through his hair, beautiful locks coming out of place, and from one corner of the set, a groan of anguish emerges. 
“Oppa! Don’t play with your hair and face.” A masked lady runs forward waving combs that look like artillery, “We just got done setting it!”
Some finger guns, a happy apology, and some silly jokes later, all the stylists merrily round up to undo his doing, and Jin signals to you to catch up later. And as he walks away, the strings tugging at your heart reappear, as they do every time you come to meet him.
You have a masochistic streak in you, putting yourself through this every day, when he had made it clear, that you two never stood a chance. 
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As if things aren’t already difficult, he looks like a dream. 
Soft, snowy skin gleaming like it has personal lighting wherever it goes, you get flashes of the rarely witnessed sweat on his skin, from the ferocity of last night. He’s blowing away the foam of his cappuccino, and tiny bubbles float into the air before falling flat on the table, like an animated shine that follows him along. God has His favorites, and God makes sure all the lighting in the world is perfect for these favorites. 
In no hurry, you wait at the counter to get your latte. After receiving it though, you can’t linger any longer and drag yourself to the table of doom.
“Hey.”
If the rasp in your voice is evident, he doesn’t show any recognition on his face. But you’ve learned to never trust an acting major. 
“Hi. How are you doing?”
Inadvertently, a snicker escapes your lips. “Are you interviewing me for a job?” you joke, trying to disperse the heavy air, filled with unspoken words. “If so, at least know that I’m very expensive.”
The familiar windshield wiper laugh does not greet you. Dead silence does. The half-smirk he painfully gives you is heavy, and the furrowed brows haven’t an inkling of joy. It shoots daggers in your heart, to know that you are the reason for this jolly man’s despondency. 
“Listen, I don’t think we should skirt around the issue too much. It happened, these things happen. You think Hoseok and Yeji didn’t have sex before making it official?”
His matter-of-fact nature isn’t new to you. Jin has always been a very practical man. Regardless of his inane sense of humor, his logical point of view has always been flawless. 
But right now, at this very moment, logic isn’t what you are looking for. You are looking for answers, but as far withdrawn from logic as possible, to take the edge off of the tension-laden air that surrounds your table.
“Yeah, but even… unofficially… we aren’t a thing, right?” 
Your abrupt question takes Jin unaware, almond eyes widening, like a toddler caught in an act. 
“No, no! Of course not! I would never!” 
His confession slips out with an ease that hurts you, digs deep to carve out the part of you that dreamt of anything more. Your eyes fall to your knees to avoid his perceptive gaze, the sting clear as the sky on a summer day. 
You force a smile and continue. “Then there’s no issue. Anyway,” you gulp your coffee down, burning your throat, but it's a distraction from the burning inside, “I need to get to work. Anything else?”
He’s still searching you, for what, you can’t possibly fathom. From the looks of it, he should be happy with this homeostasis; he doesn’t even know what this means for you. To still stay suspended in limbo, not being able to move up or down, to continue having thorns digging into your beating soul as you watch him like nothing bothers your already frail feelings. Scene by scene, you can visualize the future, him distancing himself from you as he finds the one he calls his, with you left in the shadows. Your knees tremble in fear of the impending future.
Seeing you in a tizzy, he calls out, the voice too loud for the cafe and your mind’s prison cage. 
“We’re still best friends, right?” If you knew better, you’d say his expression is that of sadness, of regret. But your judgment is clouded with your own bothers, and you interpret it as a look of pity. Like a lovesick puppy, kicked to the streets, with nowhere to call home. 
“Yeah! Always.” You give it as much enthusiasm as you can muster. 
Best friends.
Ropes wind around your heart, tugging and causing the deep ache that sets in as you walk back into your dreary building. Each string pulls you into a different dimension where you could move on, where you could be okay with the setting you had just agreed to. Where you would keep up your end of the promise and truly remain friends with him.
But no matter how strong the tug, your heart never yields, never lets go of the castle of dreams you built, staying steadfast in its own misery, choosing to hope, choosing to live the life of unrequited love.
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“And that’s a wrap! Good job everyone!”
Applause and hurrays echo across the set to bring you back to the present. The shoot has officially concluded, which means it's time for your most favorite and least favorite part of the day - Jin and you doing best friend things, like grabbing lunch, gossiping about obnoxious coworkers, threatening to disembowel each other (in Mortal Kombat, of course) and other friendly activities. 
Ever so respectful, Jin takes his time thanking every member of the set, regardless of whether they moved a cushion or held the reflector screen for hours. All the women gush over his beauty, reminding him of how, even amidst the glowing ornaments, his face was the brightest. His responses vary, from quiet little giggles, to complimenting the crew for making it happen, to straight up owning his charisma like a boss. That’s your man. 
Well, not quite. Not one bit.
After exhausting the handshakes and hugs to be received, Jin walks to you, hands pushing his robe back to give it a cape like effect. You’re just glad that the man’s child persona still stays with him, no matter the situation.  He guides you to his green room, cracking his bones on the way, (very sexily, might you add).
“Holding a pose for that long gives me cramps! You’d think dancing breaks my back, and you’d be wrong.”
You’re desperately avoiding looking at his fingers, and keep your eyes below them - shoot! His ceaseless stretching gives you a glimpse under his shirt - it is dragging your memories back to the last time you saw them, and you’d rather not. It is hurting you in more ways than one. 
Eye contact is your safest bet. Looking up, you give him a lopsided grin. “Your grandfatherly days are approaching, Jinnie.” 
“Hey!” 
The rest of the conversation was less speaking, more yelling and chasing after each other to the green room, Jin taking mock-offence at your jab at his age, and his fingers reaching out to flick your forehead in retort. In your noisy, messy fashion, you both finally enter the room, dim gold light bulbs and shiny mirrors meeting your huffing self. 
One hand on your knee, you hold on to Jin’s arm with your other, gasping for breath. 
“Your grandmotherly days are already here, Y/N,” he snorts, and earns a kick on the shin, but that doesn’t stop him from bursting into snickers.
“Wow, why does one man need 4 mirrors?” You gape at his current green room, mouth wide open. It looks better than your entire apartment, with the counter carrying top-of-the-line makeup products. Only the best for this man. “So you can admire yourself from 4 different angles?”
Jin has disappeared into one of the inner rooms, but you can hear him snort at your comment. “Come on, I’m not that conceited. When the whole crew shoots together, the extra mirrors help.” The last part of that sentence is muffled, and that cues you into an important fact. 
Jin is currently changing into something more comfortable.
A process that includes him getting naked.
Well maybe he doesn’t get fully naked, top on, top off, bottom on, bottom of-
Still. You’re sweating like a whore in church. 
And things only get tougher when he finally comes out. 
The ocean blue sweater he dons is tucked in. Who tucks in sweaters? Kim Seokjin. Why does he tuck sweaters? Oh, because he’s got an amazing waistline that he should most definitely show off, and the heat between your thighs becoming increasingly potent is a testament to that. You pretend to adjust your heels, giving the right expressions to show you’re in pain, but in actuality you are bringing your legs closer to get you some relief, just any relief. 
Ripped jeans too. You get a peek of the thighs you were denied access to the night of the fuckening. Ridged and beautiful, not a speck in sight to mar his perfection. You are glad the facial expressions for pain and pleasure are not far apart, because your thighs, albeit very lacking, are helping the imagery in your head. Just Jin, seated on one of these leather chairs, and you straddling his thigh, clit aching against the strands of the rips in his denim, the fabric soaking up the wetness, with every push forwa-
“Now that you mention it, I do look dashing.”
And there goes that dream. 
You pinch his cheeks in adoration, the vulgarity of your thoughts getting whitewashed by his silliness and blooming heart-shaped flowers in their stance. You feel your own pinch in you, wondering if this scene would be the same had you blurted your feelings out that day at the cafe.
It's times like these when you remind yourself why you choose to quieten that side. This dynamic cannot reincarnate in any other form. Any imbalance to this equilibrium could cause a serious case of best-friends-turn-awkward-acquaintances, and you don’t know if that’ll hurt you more than you currently do. You don’t plan on finding out.
But on God, he tests that resolution every single day.
Jin doesn’t even hint that he knows of the turmoil blasting behind your eyes. He nonchalantly fixes his hair, gives you a one-over as you are mentally undressing him, nonchalantly as well. Then he moves to grab his cologne, and two spurts disintegrates all the whitewashing and takes you back into the obscenities you were unfolding. 
“So I’ll just go over the shoot photos, and then we can leave! You’re cool waiting here?”
“Hmmn, yeah!” You don’t let your mouth run any longer, fearing what might slip out. 
He gives you a wide, innocent smile. “Great! See you in a bit.” Poor guy. If only he knew how debase plans you were conjuring just from the aroma of his cologne. 
It is musky, like cedar or pine, perfectly suiting him. It is the same scent you remember inhaling, face stuffed in his sweater when he was fingering you to the tenth circle of hell. As he walks away, the fragrance diminishes, save for the slightest hint of lingering. You search for the source, and find the culprit strewn across the sofa.
The outfit Jin wore for the shoot held remnants of the perfume, and when you bring the shirt close and take a long, deep whiff, you transport yourself to the land of your dreams. You relish the fever smell of his cologne, mixed with his own natural scent, deciding that this is what you wish to smell like every waking morning.
Your longing for him has crossed way beyond physical boundaries. You longed for his love, longed for his attention. Longed to be the one that brings the light to his face. From morning rays to the darkness of the night, you wanted to experience it all by his side. To be his lone star, shining bright beside the moon. 
Your hands are moving without your control, disrobing you of your thirst trap of a dress and putting on Jin’s shirt instead. One look at the mirror and you let out a silent groan - it fits you just right. Just enough to cover your ass cheeks, loose enough to let the air conditioning hit your heated pussy. While well-fitting shirts have never been the cornerstone of a successful relationship, your delusional mind takes whatever wins it gets.
Adding layers to your pipe dream, you don the robe that gave you a tough time throughout the shoot. When you press the tails of the robe to your cheek, the softness of the material is soothing. Soft, like Jin’s eyes, like his hugs, like his smile. Like him.
Leaning against the counter, you steady yourself, mind split in titillation. Your fingers find their own path, drawing circles on your breasts over his shirt, imagining Jin’s long fingers in place. While teasing your nipple to pointed peaks, you slip your other hand under your panties, trying very hard to mimic his digits, twiddling your clit between your fingers. Alas, the effect isn’t achievable, because Jin seems to know how to play you better than yourself. 
The scent is getting stronger, without any provoking, and it is doing wonders for your immersion. You let out a loud moan when your fingers press inside, and you’re just glad no one can witness this.
“Y-Y/N?”
Fuck.
You are pulled away from your dreamland that was so impenetrable that you didn’t hear Jin step into the room. All the blood gushing to your nether regions has made a U-turn to flood your brain to think of a plausible explanation for this position. Instead it makes you giddy, and when you try to stand you wobble in your heels, to be rescued by what you think is a very scandalized Jin. 
Time stands still when your eyes meet, and what you see are blown out pupils trembling, many questions fluttering between you two. Jin crosses a tenth of the distance between you, lips flutter as they try to make a decision - do they want to part and give way to the voice of question? The voice of reason? The voice that will break this hush, burst this bubble where he has the one chance to give in to his longing?
You bring your lips closer, and cause immense disquiet in his dome, the way of his heart gathering speed against rationale. Your eyes dance between matching his gaze and finding his lips, every fraction of an inch you cross sending tremors through you. You can feel the shockwaves traverse through your body, making a pitstop at your lips, tingling them awake. They move downwards, passing your heart, beating it wildly against its cage, and then to the pit of your stomach to tighten in anticipation; finally reaching the tip of your toes, where you stand right now, a nanoscopic distance between you. Each one of you is afraid to cross the bridge, unaware of the other’s desires. 
Finally, Jin acqueises and meets you on your side. 
Atomic explosions ring through your head, clearing out every single thought that is not about Jin’s lips on yours. The ropes that held your heart from beating to the tune of your want, they’ve loosened their knots to give you the leeway to love freely. As your lips exchange positions, his teeth lightly drag across your plush petal, and it brings back the most important part of that night that you couldn’t recollect - the one where his lips sang wordless songs of adoration against yours. Blind as a bat, you were.
You dig your fingers into his hair, not minding your residual arousal coating his locks, and you feel his hands doing the same to you. With your eyes closed, you feel a rough edge to his cushiony soft lips, but Jin fixes that mistake - one stray strand of hair trapped in the middle of your indulgence - he pulls it away to give you all of the kiss. The hand tucked in your tresses pushes in, silently demanding more access, and you’re nothing but ready to give it.  
His tongue sneaks in to play a game with yours - when you seek it, it goes into hiding, finding perfect pleasure in soft, sweet kisses, but when you stay, it comes back in, awakening your tongue to deepen again. Everything he is doing is too much and not enough in one go, and you whine into his mouth in desperation, seeking some well-earned relief after months of holding back.
Amidst the flurry of your lips, your back hits the vanity countertop, and Jin pushes away everything on top to make space for you, not caring what expensive item flies down the counter to accommodate your ass.
As if you’ve made up for the months of holding back, the softness of the kisses erodes, teeth coming into play more and more, reminiscent of the night that went by in a blur. He swallows every mewl you give in return, blissed out beyond repair, your neediness making his cock strain against the denim. 
His hand snakes down, spreading his fingers to get a hold of your back to push you towards him, covering any gap that dared to intervene. Now unworried about the shoot, your hands have effectively ruined his perfectly placed locks and messed them up to resemble the craze he let you spin in.
Before he can glide his tongue back in, you break the kiss, lest you lose yourself in it to the point where you forget to breathe. With attached foreheads, you take deep drags of air, letting the oxygen flow to your brain before you make some ill-advised, unclarified decisions.
“I- I was jus-”
“Shhh. Wait,” he breathes out, wanting to take a second and fully savor the moment. You nod in return, making his head move along with yours.
After sufficient air fills his lungs, Jin starts. “Y/N, we should stop.”
Last time this had happened, you had tried to force your way through his barrier, without giving his feelings a second of consideration. So this time, you don’t repeat your mistakes. “Tell me why.”
“Because, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I’m way deeper in this than you think.”
“Jin, I-”
“Let me finish.” He stops you before you can explain how much you reflect his emotions, possibly more. He doesn’t seem to want to listen now. “Let me finish, or else I’ll chicken out, for the millionth time.”
You’re dumbfounded. Millionth time? When was the first? Acting majors, by God. 
“I love you, Y/N.”
No, now you are dumbfounded. Your hands, holding his precious locks, drop down in shock, at sheer disbelief that all this time, he has been ready and waiting to return you the favor. Jin though, misinterprets it as a look of disdain. 
“I-I know I do, and I’m sorry that I do. I know you don’t feel the same way. You can hate me all you want, but this is the truth.”
“And yes,” he continues, refusing to halt for even half a second, afraid that the courage he mustered to confess would dissipate the moment he does, “I’m attracted to you, and I don’t know what went down here --” flicking his wrist to mention your (his) outfit, “--but I’m looking, okay? And I’m hard as fuck. But that’s not all there is to it.”
“I need all of you.” He takes an audible gulp, trying to stymy his emotions from overpowering him. “I want to take you out, I want to hold you hand, I want to bring you to all the places I love. I want to introduce you to people, not as my best friend, but so much more than that. It hurts me,” bringing his hand to his chest, he emphasizes the point of pain by clutching over his heart, “hurts to call you that because I’m lying through my fucking teeth.”
You break eye contact, because there are tears smarting your eyes at his heartfelt revelation. You can’t believe the idiot that you have been all this while. The man of your dreams stands in front of you, baring his soul, and you can’t even do him the decency of telling him what you felt yourself before jumping his bones.
And you love him, too. Maybe you haven’t said so, even to yourself, but you’ve known all this while.
You love him.
“If you are just looking for a fuck, or want any sort of a ‘benefits’ situation, we should stop. I can’t lie to myself anymore.”
“Jin, my God,” you half-sigh, half-laugh, feeling a burden lift off of you after months of pining.
“You don’t have to pacify me, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Even in this moment, he is looking out for you. His lips are curved upward to show you that he’s okay, but his pupils are shaky and restless, not in sync with his smile. You hope your next words can fix that for him.
“Pacify you? Hate you?” You shoot him an incredulous look, one you will explain to him very soon. “You are a much better person than I am, Jinnie. For months now, I’ve loved you, but even at this point, I didn’t stop to tell you.” The guilt of letting your hormones cloud your judgement for the second time lays heavily on your conscience. “I’m sorry for not making this clear earlier, but let me now. I love you, Kim Seokjin. I have for way too long. I want you, I need you. You have me, in every possible way.”
It feels unparalleled to get that off your chest. The leaden weight of your emotions immediately disappears - or the fact that it's shared, makes it much, much lighter. But then you look at Jin, and he still seems to have not put two and two together. You patiently wait for him to process all the information. 
When he finally recoups, he yells, “What?!”
You let out a loud guffaw, the first one with no inhibitions in the longest time. “What?”
“Why didn’t you say anything that day at the cafe?!” 
“You said you’d never date me, asshole!” You punch his chest softly, before slipping your hands behind him and pulling him closer. “I might not look like it, but I have some dignity.”
“I said that?” Jin brings one hand to pinch his nose in annoyance. “What an idiot. I think I was just inverting everything to make sure I don’t accidentally slip up.”
You lift your head to meet his eyes again, letting him see the tears you were hiding. You find a couple in his eyes, too. But the smile on your face is genuine, and that is all that matters. “I was blind too, so don’t beat yourself up about it.” 
Flitting your eyes down to find the contour of his cock against his jeans, you ask him innocently, “How about we make up for lost time?”
“Fuck, yes, please.” And with that, your lips are engulfed again.
When you have all your guards down, the kiss tastes sweeter than before. Mere moments ago, while thoroughly enjoying the kiss, a sense of reticence had clouded your pleasure, holding you back from luxuriating in the headiness. A series of what-ifs had plagued your subconscious without your realization, but with all that cleared, you wholly submit to the kiss, emptying your mind until nothing but his name remains.
“Fuck, Y/N,” Jin gasps out, when you bite into his pillowy lower lip, “I thought you looked the prettiest in the dress earlier but,” after pulling away, he drinks your current attire in, “you look the most beautiful in this.”
You snicker. “Even more than World Wide Handsome?”
His eyes bore into yours, no hint of the joking lilt he always carries in them. 
“So much more.”
Your hands find their place amidst his shaggy hair again, and you lodge his face into your neck - a command Jin acquiesces to with great pleasure. After a long, wet lick to your collarbone, he lays feather-soft kisses on the trail he left, starting from your shoulder and working inward, until he brushes against the back of your ear. You grasp at his sweater, because his lips feel so good. Your breaths are short, sucking in every time he allows your skin the luxury of a soft peck.  Once he lays a kiss on your forehead, he brings his gaze down to one of the main reasons that causes his cock to stir.
“Fuck, look at your nipples under my shirt.”
Gazing down, you can see the two pointed peaks that caught Jin’s eyes. 
“That tends to happen when I’m thinking of you.” 
He twists a nipple over the shirt, hardening it further, and you throw your head back in the satisfying pain. “Yeah, I remember.”
You are unraveling every second, the ache swishing amongst the bliss his fingers are bringing in you. He’s switched over to drawing circles around your nipple, until he snaps and tugs your shirt up, finally revealing the palmfulls of flesh awaiting his hands. 
“Ah that night, I didn’t get to do this. Take this off.” But then, he makes you put on his robe again. You throw him a questioning look, to which he responds with a sheepish smile, “Just so, you know… you don’t feel cold… or something.”
“Just say you like me in your clothes and move on.”
“I love you in my clothes,” he admits in a heartbeat, his expression that of anguish, “can we move on?”
“God, gladly.”
Unexpectedly, he bites the side of your boob - not hard at all, but feeling his teeth against your skin sends your head reeling backward. Your involuntary response is to wrap your legs around his waist, grinding your core against him. His teeth continue to nip you lightly across the expanse of your breasts, the trail of saliva he leaves cooling parts of your flushed body. Finally, finally, he latches onto your left nipple and gives it a long, pleasurable suck.
“Ahh, Jin - you’re too - God damn it - you’re too good at this.” 
Without stopping the onslaught he is unleashing on your breasts, his fingers begin to move - but soon, they stop, hesitation rippling off of their tips. His pace falters, and his mind is fighting on the next course of action.
“Can I-”
“Finish what you started that night?” you complete for him, already prepared with your answer. “Yes, please.”
All forms of uncertainty shoot out of his touch, and he confidently trudges forward. Playing with the band of your panties, he gives you a well-intended chuckle, murmuring, “As far as I remember, I was so good you passed out.”
“Boy,” You groan, intended in jest, but his teeth slide against your jaw and it mostly comes out more wanton than jovial, “let me see you have tequila for dinner and remember much the next day.”
“Fair fair,” he gives in, shifting to buss the valley of your cleavage, feeling your heart thud against your ribs holding it in place. “Well today,” he starts without moving his face, his nimble fingers moving past the barrier of your underwear, pressing two fingertips directly on your clit, and hissing like it's him at the receiving end, “I’ll give you enough to remember.”
You pull his sweater off and chuck it away, not wanting to be reminded of any blockades that kept you apart, and your hands roam the expanse of his back remembering the touch of his skin from the night at the bar. His body isn’t new to you, but the circumstances make it feel different. 
Finally, his fingers find their way inside you. 
Yes, this. This was what was missing from your drunken tryst. With your heads in place, your ardor intensifies, and you move his lips back to yours needing to release your animalistic desire into his mouth. Pleasure surges through both of you as you threaten to swallow him whole.
You can feel him being more present, and considering the merciless finger-fucking you had earned that night, this is taking it to a whole other degree. 
The night at the bar, his fingers did their best to ravish you, but now, Jin is paying attention, close attention to the way you respond. Every muscle movement is recorded in him as you struggle to accommodate three of his lengthy digits. Leaning close, he gives your peaked nipple the lightest feather lick - the suddenness sends shockwaves through you as he continues to tweeze the other, talented pianist hands performing his musical piece on both ends of you.
His fingers pump into you with determination, finding new depths to explore that he missed out on, and with a curl of his pointer, you blank out, screaming in the orgasm that is washing over you. Every skincell of your body feels the quiver of lust spreading, your cunt squeezing for an eternity, milking the orgasm out to the extent that you can. 
When you look down, your metaphorical orgasmic flood manifestes as a deluge of your arousal leaking on the table. And when you look back up, you can see the salacious ideas making their rounds in Jin’s head as he looks at the inundation you released. 
Hurried hands still convulsing from the intensity of your orgasm, you undo his belt, followed by his jeans and finally - getting the pleasure you were heartlessly denied of - his cock is out, in all its glory, twitching as the cool air hits its naked skin. Jin’s plans don’t go hand in hand with yours though.
“Are we just - holy fucking shit - just, umm, leave that to waste?” he lustfully looks down to your leaking core, and someway, through your hold on his dick, he tries to steer you into his plans.
“I don’t know about that,” you cheekily reply. You have the right idea to satisfy both of you, and get down to the task.
With the flat of your palm, you swipe across the droplets of cum you released, gathering them to transfer them onto his thick length. Jin thrusts into your hand, the wetness jolting him into attention, and he places an arm on your shoulder to steady himself. 
“You’re going to taste yourself?” he asks as you continue your vacillating motion, twisting at the base of his head with the wetness you graciously provided yourself. You give him a nonchalant look, something he is trying to do to you as well. 
“Who said I’m gonna suck you off?”
His look changes, and the one you get in return is cocky, arrogant, downright rude if you were honest. You expected him to play on with your banter, but one raised eyebrow and the lazy smirk he gives, to what he probably thinks is a joke - Zeus could land on earth and not be able to stop you from gobbling his meat. 
Your mouth is filled with his dick even before your knees hit the ground. Jin staggers back, but your suction on his dick is funnily strong enough to pull him back before falling.  You switch positions, having him balance himself against the counter, all while you refuse to leave his cock out. His giggle of endearment has you pouting, but it swells your heart and makes you want to give more, more of anything and everything. With your renewed vigor, you push yourself in until his pubes tickle your nose, and his tip tickles your throat. 
“Your-”, “I-”, “uhh-” 
Every new sentence Jin starts crumbles to your actions. You furrow your brows both in concentration on your blowing skills and trying to decode what he is trying to say. 
Jin takes a large gulp, adamant on making this one a coherent sentence. “You know, I used to imagine this, and in my dreams I used to be very sexy and suave, talking my way throug-oof-” You run your tongue over the tip of his leaking dick, emphasizing the point he is coming to, “Now I can’t even complete sentences here.”
“You being you is super sexy in itself.” And you curve your tongue to match the arch of his cock, letting the incoming saliva pool on it before letting it run down his shaft, dripping down from his balls. Strings of his precum connect to your lips, and you swipe your tongue through them, relishing the salty goodness before going back in for more. 
“Y/N, shit, did you just moan?”
How couldn’t you? The fact that he is horny for you, so much so that rivulets of precum don’t stop drizzling down your throat, has you preening. You hum your assent in response, not willing to let go even for a moment, but Jin pulls you off before you can get a chokehold on the base of his cock again. 
“Never had a woman moan while sucking me off. It’s sexy as fuck,” Jin breathes into your lips as he dives in for a kiss.
Your chest is heaving, catching the breaths you lost when you were down. “Then why’d you stop me?”
“Are you kidding me? I was about to lose it right there.”
“Jinnie, come on,” you break the fragmentary kiss you were sharing, looking into his glassy eyes, “let me feel you come on my tongue.” To emphasize your conviction, you lick his lips, persuading him of the sinful deeds your tongue is capable of doing if he’d just let you.
“Oh man, stop. What’s worse than busting a nut in your mouth? Busting it while you’re kissing me. Making me feel like a teenager.” You erupt into a loud laugh, soon followed by Jin as well. It is so him to joke about this. 
“And babe,” all hints of embarrassment vanishing from his tone, “I’m only going to come inside you.”
“Fuck, fuck, yes. You got a condom on you?”
“Yeah, let me grab my wallet.” The instant he moves away, you feel naked, shivering from the comfort stolen away from you. But then you hear Jin grumble, “I hope I don’t have the bacon-flavored one.” And the absurdity of it all puts you at ease again.
“Ew, stop, even you can’t make that sexy. My lady boner is dying.”
He envelops you again, and you can feel the laughter echoing in his lungs before making it out to your ears. He brings your attention to the familiar rustle of foil wrapper. “Thankfully, we got chocolate.”
“Mmmh, gotta love chocolate.”
You take the condom out of his hands, and roll it onto his stiff length, flattered that he’s holding his erection for so long. 
“Okay, stick it in me!” And you smack your ass in readiness, and a very flabbergasted Jin breaks out chortling.
“Y/N, stop being my best friend for like, five minutes!” His brows are furrowed in pretense exasperation, but you can see his lips holding back a genuine smile through the grimace, just happy that your dynamics haven’t changed the slightest, even though everything else has shifted.
“Okay okay,” you try and suppress your own laughter, before continuing, “how do you want me, baby?”
“Bend over on the vanity. And keep your eyes on the mirror.” And as you move into position, his palms grab your ass and squeeze it hard, feeling your glutes push back against his grip, and he pushes you forward till you're on the tips of your toes. You watch him through the mirror, watch him admire the way your ass curves over the table edge, how your toes struggle to keep you up, and how the dimples of your back are deepened by the arch, peeking under the bunched up robe tails, just waiting for him.
“Jin.” Your hushed whisper puts him in action.
Pushing the head in is anguish and relief at the same time. His bulbous head stretches your entrance; even with your preparation, you feel it sting. The searing gets better and better with every inch slipping in, and when he finally lodges inside, you let out a heavy breath, still panting and keeping yourself from screaming bloody murder in pleasure. Jin bends forward to paint the back of your neck, sucking the flesh till the circular bruise comes to surface. 
“Can you- can you-fuck, no, wait-” Your brain is at war with itself, battling between adjusting to his girth and having him pump you into adjustment. 
You can feel Jin’s snicker from behind you, and he finally makes the decision for you. “I’ll wait, I have things to do here,” he says before playing around the patch of skin, spreading from the base of your hair to the expanse of your back, his teasing licks relaxing your walls and accommodating his girth. The pain is almost gone, expect for the lingering ache that only helps you.
“You can move now, babe.”
“Okay, okay.” Your words snap him out of the painter’s dream he was in, and he twitches inside you. Something about the ease at which you both have adopted nicknames for each other softens his heart and hardens his cock. 
Pulling out till only the head rests inside, Jin himself struggles against the third degree grip your pussy has on him. As he is thrusting inside again, your walls tense up, making it harder and harder for him to hold back. 
“Y/N, sweetie, relax. I got you.”
“Jin, I’m-” You have tears running down your eyes, the pleasure and unsurmountable happiness rolling out in fat hot drops. “Fuck me harder. I won’t last.”
“Shit. Okay, hold on then.”
To what? Is what you’re going to ask before Jin unleashes his carnality onto you. Your breasts, dripping in sweat and saliva, are plastered to the countertop, which in itself is jiggling to the beat of Jin’s thrusts. His dick is curving inside to hit you repeatedly, and you have to gather the satin fabric to wipe your eyes to keep your gaze fixed on him. 
He looks majestic. Forehead embellished with beads of sweat, his hair coiffed up, lips sanguine red after your vicious kisses - you swipe your tongue along your own lips to find them battered in response. His honey chest is heaving with every push, and a particular one hits you just right. 
You let out a guttural groan, and Jin takes note of it immediately. 
“Up,” he commands, and loops an arm under your belly to you pull you up and closer and now every thrust hits deeper into that spot he has found in you, your back connected to his chest as the two of you move in tandem; this is the most together you’ve ever felt with anyone. This moment is to be etched in your memories forever.
You scream into your fist to muffle the sounds, the edge of the table digging into your hip bone as you feel yourself getting closer to the brink. One swipe to the clit is all you have left to bring you to your release. 
And from some telepathic force, or from the clutch your pussy has on him, Jin beats you to it. His fingers come down and carefully find your swollen nub, pinching it between his fingers. If he thought you’d shown him your hardest clench, he was wrong, because right now your dam has broken, and the iron-clad grip you give his cock sends him reeling, too.
You are gushing on his dick, the rubber dripping with your wetness. Jin too releases into the condom in stuttered gasps, his thrusts becoming shorter and shallower as he comes down from his high. 
Petal-like kisses fall on your back as the two of you regain your breaths. The mirror that served you two well is covered in a fog of hot breath and perspiration, blearing your vision of yourself, but somehow, it sparkles with Jin’s reflection. His nobility-esque visuals use the haze as a valance for his appearance, framing them to make him look like you’re among the clouds. And in some way, you actually are.
“Ah, let me go.” You jiggle your shoulders back to make the man above you move. “Fuck, can you check if my spine is in place? I think you dislodged it.”
“Shut up and come hug me, I’ll squeeze it back in place.”
Now this is something you could get used to.
As he ties and throws away the used condom, you flip over to face him and fall back into his embrace, broad shoulders promising to protect you, making you feel safe in his care. Jin on the other hand is simply ecstatic to feel you on him, feeling your thumping heart beat for him, after months of pining and pondering whether anything would become of the seed of your tumultuous friendship. Now, it has blossomed to a garden of prospect and promise, every petal of every flower here reading a new opportunity to tell you how much he adores you, cherishes you, treasures you. How much he loves you.  An opportunity he doesn’t wait to use. 
“I love you.”
The pink tinge of your cheeks either comes from the sex, or from his comment, but either way, he is glad its from him. 
“I love you too, Jin. So, so very much.”
If your heart could leap out of your chest, it would do so, to find its way to his and fuse into one. But for now, your entwined bodies give you all you want. 
You hear Jin stifle a laugh, and pull back in question. He points to something odd on the countertop.
“What is that?”
The cream white surface of the table, that was maligned by your ignoble deeds, now sports two glistening, wheatish semi circles that look very similar to the sizes of one person who was splayed on top of it just moments ago. 
“Is that…” Jin is trying to contort his lips and halt the looming snicker, and he brings his eyes down to your chest (trying not to get hard again), “Did you have makeup on your chest?”
“Shut up.” All you can do is fall closer into his arms, hopefully masking the tint of embarrassment highlighting the apples of your cheeks. “I wanted to make them look extra good for you.”
He’s given up on holding back, the full-bellied laugh that resonated from him echoing across the room. But it dwindles down fast, coming to small chuckles of tenderness, and he slips his digits beneath your chin to have you meet his gaze.
“They always look good,” he whispers, his admittance setting your chest aflame, “trust me, I’d know.”
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Taglist 💛:  @little7bitchh​, @afangirllikeme-blog​, @h34rt1lly, @marpotterhead​
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Thank you so much for making it to the end! I hope you enjoyed the fic, my ask box is always open for your lovely opinions. To read more of my work, find my main masterlist here. :)
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beetsandskzreads · 3 years
Text
silent bright summer night
bang chan x gn!reader, y/n works with skz and became their friend (the ultimate dream haha)
genre: tooth-rotening fluff, slight angst with a happy ending
notes/warnings: nothing intense, this is very fluffy, there's brief mentions of cheating, long distance, y/n's exes, fear of abandonment, slight insecurities, deep talks, reader and chan are slightly wine drunk, y/n and chan are whipped, y/n makes it explicit they want to date someone very warm and caring (aka chan), i don't think that's a warning tho djsjs just saying
scenario: on a balcony, at a beach apartment on a summer night of vacation, y/n opens up to chan about their past and current lovers. what y/n doesn't know is why chan is so interested listening to it.
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It was 1:01 am when chan and I found ourselves in the balcony that overlooked the city and it's bright lights on a summer night. Skz had gone to sleep right after all of us came back from a night out of lots of fun, buying stuff on stores by the beach, having ice cream, seeing the view of the city lights reflecting on the sea water, appreciating street artists...
The two of us had been talking the whole evening, we hung out as a group but mostly just spoke to each other and laughed at the members jokes, both of us having a sparkle in our eye every time we saw the group happy. There was this unspoken pleasantness, a bliss, calmness in the air but with a lot of excitement. Chan was so happy to be around the sea with "the kids" as he refers to them and being at the beach almost 24/7 this week, it was like his natural habitat, his home, a comfort place. It left you feeling even softer for him, and as you shared your love for the sea, your feelings were at a peak. You liked Chan, and you loved this place as much as he did.
The night was so great, everyone was out like a lightweight as soon as we arrived to the vacation apartment we're in. Chan and I were testing the theory that a glass of wine would help us get drowsy and help us fall asleep as well, since we both have trouble falling asleep and felt nothing but a remaining excitement from the night out. It came to me especially because of the enthusiasm of talking to him, we were connecting so well, I didn't want this to ever end.
And so we drank (one glass quickly becoming the whole bottle) and we talked for what felt like hours on end, that neither of us wanted to cease.
- My ex best friend, she never quite knew how to choose guys, she always went for the ones that would never turn her way, the ones who obviously wouldn't care about her, not because of her, but because they were really careless guys, walking red flags. - I told him, I couldn't remember where exactly the conversation started but we were talking about nice people picking shitty people to date.
- What about you? - he asked
- Me? I barely even like guys, I mean I do, but I'm really picky actually, I don't allow myself to fall for cold people, I wouldn't forgive myself if I took interest in someone rude, I try so hard to take care of myself so I either stay alone that way or I find someone who makes me feel better, who knows how to take care of me, after all we chase happiness, I think a caring person could do that, someone gentle who isn't scared of emotions or who at least is open to face that fear with me by their side.
- I get it, it's hard to get by if you don't have emotional support, a partner should be able to provide that support, yeah. Did you ever... find someone like that?
- Yeah, in the past I did and even now I do know someone more than ideal... I guess my ex partners when I was young were going through a soft phase tho... I guess everyone has an emotional limit they were scared to cross... once I found that barrier the relationship stoped evolving, reached a dead end and so there was nothing left for me anymore and I left, plus, you know, cheating, long distance, a bunch of stuff really... it wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.
- What about that someone right now?
Silence ruled for about 3 seconds before I knew what to say. That someone right now is him. Ever since I've known him feels like he's the only man ever, but I don't think I'd tell him that, not soon anyways.
- What about 'em?
- What's that person like? What makes you trust they're any different from your exes?
- Sometimes I fear they're not, but I set the bar really high and I reset it constantly, to make sure I'm seeing it right, sometimes they seem so perfect to me that I wonder what good have i done in my past life to deserve to be around such a bright person. Of course they make mistakes too, but even the way they deal with them is so... mature, it's so easy to just solve things communicating, it's insane to me. Then I remember it's probably because they're eventually gonna leave me too, or just not reciprocate my feelings and after they break my heart I'll probably loose all hope in love, be heart broken for two years until I decide I'm gonna focus on myself again... it's a cycle after heartbreak, but with this person I'm really scared, because they mean more. I'm way too deep in before I've even expressed my feelings, it's gonna be devastating. - I'm rambling, the wine made me do it.
- What makes you think they wouldn't like you back tho?
- I'm not sure I just... it would be too good to be true and it's complicated... he's amazing and I'm just not sure if he'd be into me, I mean, I think I'm lovable and I think I'd be a great lover, I just don't know if I'm his type or if he'd consider me. We have a bit of an age gap, I'm not someone who's typically pretty or specially good looking, I have my charms but I have no idea if that's enough for him to be in love. It's complicated with each others work too... - I notice chan's gaze on me, he has his head leaned on his hand on the table and he's looking at me with bright eyes, eyes that look tired and a little drunk but somehow, he manages to look at me in a way that makes me feel adored, I don't know why you have to make me feel so much love, Bang Chan - Why are you looking at me like that?
- You have no idea how other people perceive you, do you? - he ignored your question, probably because of his drunk-ish drowsy state - Everyone I know likes you, see, you're a naturally kind and caring person, you're attentive to people's needs, you make sure everyone feels comfortable around you... that's so appreciated by everyone. I think you're exceptional y/n, you have this charismatic way of existing, a refreshing and comfy presence everyone can feel, but to me... it feels like home. You feel like home y/n. So... I have no idea who that person is but I sure as hell know they'd be more than lucky to have you as a partner and they're definitely dumb if they let you go.
- Are you dumb? - my heart's pounding quicker as I'm about to do something I didn't plan on doing ever.
- Huh? No, why w-
- Because that person is you... I like you, Chan. In a more-than-friends way - I interrupt him quickly before I lose my newly found courage.
Chan could've sworn his heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly sobriety hit him like a truck. It was the alcohol that made you say that, he thought, but he wished it was true and you didn't drink enough to be lying about this kind of stuff, you had a full on conversation and you seemed pretty sober.
- Y-y/n are you sober? - he tries to navigate through the situation.
- Oh my... yeah I am, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, it just rolled out of my tongue. I'm sorry... - you said as you panicked and tried to go back inside, regret filling up all your organs.
"I messed up" your brain keeps repeating as desperation starts entering your body, until Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving.
- Wait! You don't need to apologize, I'm glad you told me... You didn't think I'd say all that about you if I didn't like you as well, did you? - he asks suggestively.
- I don't know - you blush as you realize what he's getting at - You're just so nice to everyone, I didn't make a big deal out of it.
- Well, you should've made it a big deal, the biggest deal actually because I've been trying really hard to show you how I feel these past few days and you were so clueless I thought you were purposefully ignoring the signs because you didn't like me back.
- I'm sorry Channie, I just didn't want to assume stuff and get heartbroken if it wasn't true.
-Well it is true, so you don't need to worry anymore. I really like you too, y/n. And I've wanted to say it for a while too, I was just wondering if it was a good idea since you work with us, but I can't contain my feelings anyways... you always treat me so softly and you look after the kids really well... It just feels like you were made to be by my side, you're the embodiment of the person I've always dreamed to be with, and these past few days with the kids and you... it just felt like we were the perfect family you know? I don't think I could be without you by my side anymore... - he stops, he's been staring at your eyes the whole time and now they're starting to water.
How could you not cry when he's saying the things you thought you'd only ever hear in dreams?
- Why are you crying sweetheart? - he whispered, as he wipes a tear with his thumb, the other hand holding your hand as he stands closer every second.
- It's just... I'm so... happy - you smile through your tears - I'm so happy to hear that, you said it in such a beautiful way too... I feel exactly the same, it's like I've gained a family with you guys but you... I've grown really attached to you, feels like some parts of you are tangled in my heart in ways I couldn't tear apart if I wanted to... I'm drawn to you and when I'm with you it's comfortable, blissful, it's right. You're so good to me, it's unbelievable, but it's true, and it warms my heart. - you say as your foreheads touch and your smile grows, his eyes showing so much adoration for you, you could melt.
Suddenly you share your first kiss together, a soft yet passionate mix of sensations, and it felt like everything you ever felt around Chan but better.
You stare into each other's eyes, smiling like the little lovely goofballs you both were, noses touching, ocasional little pecks filled with giggles because you were whipped for each other.
- So this means we're exclusive lovers now, yeah? - he asks with a blushing face, a very silent giggle and a huge, uncontrollable smile.
- Definitely, yeah - you answer biting your lip until eventually you let out the largest smile you ever had.
Needless to say, you didn't leave that balcony to go to sleep that evening. In fact, you two watched the sunrise kissing and cuddling, talking about the feelings you had for each other, when they started, why you liked each other, covered by a blanket, not wanting to let go of each other now that you were openly romantic.
Han found you both sound asleep, you on chan's lap, head on his neck as his arms wrapped around you gently, on a chair in the middle of the morning. He obviously called all the members to watch you two as they assumed you two finally got together. All of them saw it coming, Chan wouldn't shut up about you and had written what could be an entire album about you.
They were happy at least you'd be around more often to cook your delicious food. And you both blushed really hard once you woke up to lot's of teasing from the kids, it was fine tho, you liked it just like this, it was home.
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stovetuna · 3 years
Note
Oh! Oh! Your Tony-finally-accepts-Steve-Loves-him fic was so lovely. A+ 🥺
And the reverse-ish! The first time Steve realizes Tony doesn’t actually believe him when he says I love you and how Steve both reacts and comes to term with the situation (does he plan on talking about it? Love offensive with super romantic dates? Figure out that the solution to this problem a marathon not a sprint?)
aaaaaahhh I am gonna EXPIRE
can you imagine?? the moment I think about it my heart absolutely BREAKS in the best, most bittersweet way, because oh, Steve. you really thought the moment you kissed Tony the first time—you were sitting next to him on the living room sofa, a whole empty seat on either side of you because you were so unnecessarily close together, but then you were struck by the thought not close enough, and you were in the middle of listening to and watching Tony watch the Lost in Space reboot (so many science critiques you didn't understand a lick of but you are more than happy to play audience to the things Tony cares about, loudly) when you leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss on the corner of Tony's motormouth, which apparently was all the invitation Tony needed to crawl into your lap and press his warm, warm, warm lips to yours and kiss the breath out of you—he understood.
because it was so easy to go from best friends to romantic partners, and you had years of friendship between you to hearken back to. Plenty of moments when you thought you'd made it clear to Tony that you loved him, that you cared about him, that you admired and respected and yes, deep down (not that deep, really) were very much attracted to him.
you thought.
so when you kiss the first time, you think he knows. when you go on your first real date and play footsie all night under the table and hold hands the whole walk home, you think he knows. when, a few days later, he slides inside you, deep and hard and wet, and butterfly-kisses the tears from your eyes and tells you how beautiful you are as he fucks you, wailing, into the mattress, you know, down to your soul, to the basest atoms of your existence, that Tony loves you as much as you love him.
but something isn't right, because even as weeks, months go by, and you move into Tony's suite and fall asleep wrapped around him almost every night (except those when he's in another country, and the bed is almost as cold as the ice, or when he's consumed by some project in the workshop and loses track of time), and you tell each other "I love you" out loud multiple times, and say it without words in a million other ways, you get the feeling that Tony. doesn't. believe you?
you're baffled. genuinely, it doesn't make sense. you've loved each other for years. even when you fought, bloody and fierce and deeply, horrifically wrong, you loved each other. it wouldn't have hurt nearly as much—felt like a piece of you being ripped away, phantom pain aging you inwardly until every step in any direction that wasn't toward Tony was agony—if you didn't.
but even though Tony says it back, and he does, every time, even when you're yelling at each other after a battle goes "tits-up," thank you, Logan, he has this look in his eyes, and the only word you've been able to put to it is doubt.
at first you think it means Tony doubts you—your feelings, your intentions, yourself and all the baggage that entails—but that thought quickly passes. because you know he doesn't. you know, from experience, that Tony's worst thoughts and feelings very rarely have anything to do with anyone other than himself. which means Tony doubts himself. maybe even reality. not in a "you might be a Skrull" kind of way, but in a "this is too good to be true" kind of way.
and doesn't that just break your fucking heart.
for months you watch this doubt flicker like a guttering little flame in Tony's bright blue eyes, every time you say "I love you, Tony" with your voice. it's never there when you're brushing your teeth next to other in the morning, bumping hips and giggling like the children you never got to be; it's not there when you silently hand him his coffee and kiss him on the temple on his way out the door to a morning meeting, grousing on the phone even as he blows a kiss to you before the elevator doors close; it's not there when you sit down next to him after a battle, on the steps of some middle-of-nowhere courthouse that just got blown up by some no-name villain, taking unspeakable comfort in the radiating heat coming off the armor that kept Tony safe in combat, and without having to ask or say anything at all Tony takes the helmet off and you lean your foreheads together and just breathe each other's air, too relieved and too exhausted to kiss; it's not there when you make love to him, slowly, excruciatingly sweet, your hips rolling in a steady, undulating wave between Tony's long, golden thighs, his arms loose around your neck, his gorgeous voice gone raspy and quiet from screaming through two orgasms already, and you tell him to look at you as you come together one last time.
it's only when you say it. put words to it. make it real. that's when that banked ember of doubt flickers to life, and it feels like you have to start all over again. which isn't a hardship, per se. not at all, really. it's an honor and a privilege and an absolute pleasure to be a part of Tony's life like this. it's also frustrating, and infuriating, and dangerous, but that was always the case. the only difference is now, you can have make-up sex.
you fight about it first. it starts out in earnest, a forthright—if frighteningly vulnerable—conversation over dinner that turns into a shouting match to rival anything from the war that of course gets cut short by the Avengers alarm going off and having to Assemble before you can clear the air. he almost dies in the battle, short-circuited by an exceptionally advanced EMP that takes out the RT (and whoo, boy does that make you spiral, thinking back, to the moment you did that to Tony, almost killed him, and thinking those thoughts while you keep vigil at his bedside for days makes you wish harder than you ever have before in your life that you could drink yourself to death), and you're too relieved when he opens his eyes and the first word out of his mouth is your name, like he's the one who should be relieved, to bring it up again.
you love him. he loves you. it works. better than that, it's good. and eventually—quickly, even—you learn. you learn tell him in every which way you can think of, without words, how much you love him, and why. you text him pictures from your runs through Central Park (he makes the photo you sent him that spring, of the adolescent raccoon emerging from a hollowed-out tree, his lock screen for a week before he changes it back to a picture of you in bed drooling onto your pillow). you help him take off the armor when he's dead on his feet. you feed him. you train with him. you listen to him ramble on about bad movie science and cheer when Matt Damon mentions him in that Mars movie. (You literally cry laughing when Tony picks up the phone at the end of the movie and calls Matt Damon and tells him to text him next time, "I'll come pick you up, just stop getting lost in fucking space, asshole!")
you kiss his scarred fingers, with their fresh cuts and scrapes and bruises from working in the shop, with a reverence. you draw baths for him and don't join, even though it's one of your favorite things to do in the world, because you can just tell Tony is going through something and he needs the space to work it out for himself. you're always there to fish him out when the water gets cold, and by that time Tony's ready to tell you about whatever's eating him.
you call him every foul, dirty name in the book when you fuck him loudly against the wall and sob yourself hoarse when he makes love to you for what feels like hours, so slow and deep and steady you honestly lose track of how many times you come. you clean him up after and tuck him in. you kiss him on the forehead before you go on your morning run, every morning without fail (except for those when you're apart, and you still, even after almost two years, catch yourself mid-motion sometimes, about to kiss empty air—you text Tony about it and he laughs every time).
you learn to be patient. you learn to show more than you tell. because you realize that Tony was lied to his entire life, about so many things. Lied to his face about who he was, who he was going to be, who he never would be allowed to be. Told over and over again by liars and cheats and villains and friends and lovers and family that he wasn't worth the effort of loving. that he would never be loved for anything other than the black credit card in his wallet, the cars in his garage, the houses and the private jets and the clothes and the money and the things he invented—the things he made—that were supposed to help people but only ever ended up killing them.
money, and blood.
it's no wonder he doubts.
so you set yourself to the long and genuinely joyous (if at times frustrating) task of convincing Tony that not only do you love him, more than you've loved anything else in your life, ever will, but he is lovable. not worthy of love, not deserving, and he is those things, but inherently—he is a sweet, caring, kind, fierce, sexy, strong, dangerous, incredible, dorky, suave, fumbling genius of a man and he is loved for those things.
it takes time. good things always do.
you've had a little velvet box hidden away in your bottom bedside drawer for four months when Tony wakes up and sees you in bed with him, realizes you've been watching him sleep—so peacefully, the furrow between his brows erased, as you play with his slightly overgrown hair (you wish he'd keep it, but it's a hazard, in your line of work). you kiss him on the forehead and say good morning, sweetheart, because it is, even if it is pouring down rain outside.
maybe especially because it's raining outside. because here you are, high up among thick grey clouds that smother every inch of the city, so it's just you two, in this bed, together in your own little world, and you're watching that stubborn ember of doubt in Tony's eyes finally get washed away.
read part one
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gangrenados · 4 years
Note
Could you do good things and bad things about datiang the Bat boys and Bruce? I ask you for bad things because relationships aren't perfect. Please
This is my first time ever writing for Bruce sooo pls be kind it has been a rough day
•First of all of them are vigilantes which means that they might have some issues separating his hero life with the normal one no matter how hard thet might try.
•They have seen the worst part of humanity and after you have witnessed those kind of horrors there's not turning back. Every imperfection in buildings, locations that have a questionable reputation and people who seem mightily suspicious will trigger their vigilante senses.
•what I'm trying to say here? They can get protective without even notice. After being the one in the line for to long you're afraid those you love might get hurt so you'll try your fucking best to prevent it, right?
Bruce Wayne
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•Bruce has a hard time accepting the love and care of others, even if you have a long term relationship Bruce might be cold and distant towards you.
•He usually doesn't care about his scars since they're consequences of trying his best to help others, but when the time to get naked in front of you comes he's slightly worried you might get disgusted because they're too many.
•Bruce gets silent when you show him pure kind love, a gentle caress on his cheek will make him snap out.
•He'll stare at you without knowing what's the right thing to do, the only thing clear onnhis mind is that he wants this to keep going.
•Sometimes you wish you could wake up or fall asleep with Bruce beside you more often. It makes you feel forgotten. Bruce has tried to stay there when you wake up, even if that means rushing home to take off the suit, slip in the cover and pretend he's sleeping.
•Bruce can be pretty romantic when he wants to. He will take you to fancy places and bought you the most prettiest things in the world, Bruce will be comfortable in those situations, talking smoothly and secure since he's trying to put a little bit of his playboy persona into this to not ruin it.
•But silly things like cooking your favorite dessert or buying a pretty thing he saw nd know it will useful to you, will get him slightly flustered. The man is afraid he might fuck up.
•If you're a mere civilian then Bruce would be petty fucking protective of you, at the point that sometimes make you wonder if he's being paranoid.
•He will install a security system in your house and car, maybe a tracker too because you never know what criminals might do to the partner of Bruce Wayne.
I•t's hard for Bruce to express his emotions and talk about them, he feels like it makes him seem weaker. But when he opens up he will pour his heart into his words, maybe he wouldn't say much, but everything that came out from his mout he meant it with his soul.
•Your fights are horrible, it leaves you both broken and wondering if this gonna be the end. Bruce is too stubborn to back down and you don't want to be the one who goes to apologize first, so you'll end up treating each other with the cold shoulder.
•It's not the type to say "I love you" constantly, he reserves those words for important moments like when he has to go to a risky mission, your anniversary or he will blurt them out when he see you doing something adorable.
•Bruce is a mysterious man and that aspect is not going to change once they start dating. You will feel that he is hiding things from you, which is true, but it will take a lot of persuasion and confidence for him to tell you what is happening or why he does not tell you things.
•Much of his reason is that he thinks that if he doesn't say anything to you you may be safe and happy in ignorance, however, he also does not want to link his romance to his work.
•Connecting in an emotional way with Jason is hard and even when you're there he tends to close and keep a lot of things to himself.
Jason Todd
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•Jason hates how being in touch with his emotions makes him more vulnerable, once they see the light there's nothing that can stop the overwhelming wave of feelings that comes to drown him.
•Once Jason becomes truly comfortable around you he will get clingy. He needs you in order to him feel alright, it's like you bring up a nice part of him he wasn't even aware of it was there.
•You're the nicest thing Jason has ever had so far and he's down to do anything to make you stay. He can stop being Red Hood and live a normal live, change his personality for one you like better, whatever you want in a man Jason can try to copy it, but please don't leave him.
•He's a really attentive and supportive boyfriend, this trait is driven by his need to prove you his total love and attention because that shows he's worthy of your love. But putting that aside, Jason truly cares about you.
•Jason is not really used to receive romantic affection so he might shy away sometimes when he becomes aware of what's going on. It's like his mind can't process that other person wants to be romantic with him.
•Jason can get really protective of you and this worsen a little bit more if you're a civilian who knows little to nothing about self defense.
•Jason is a cuddle monster, having you between his arms is soothing and lovable. He loves this little domestic things, but it's better if he's the one on top of you or hugging because he can get out of the touch easier.
•It's better to not fight with Jason, he's not going to hit you or anything, in fact he prefers to cut his own arm with a fork before landing a hand on you.
•However, he can say some mean and hurtful thigs because he wants to win the argument regardless of how bad the consequences might be.
•It might not look like it, but Jason loves to do the silly cheesy things with you.
•He will engulf you into a tight hug and then give a breathless kiss anytime he comes back from a long mission, having you to cook with him regardless if you know what you're doing just because he thought it would be cute, cuddling with you in the sofa and read a book or just watch a movie (Jason will fall asleep snuggled up to you because he feels safe)
•Jason has night terrors and he can turn pretty paranoid whe he just wake up from a nightmare, so it's better if you stand back for a moment until he calms down and realizes that nothing bad is happening.
•He keeps a gun close to him in case something happens and has night light because he can truly stand to have the whole bedroom in complete darkness, also he tends to keep you close to him when you're sleeping togheter because, even when Jason is asleep, he needs to know you're there.
Dick Grayson
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•Dick is a sweet boyfriend, he's caring and charming to the point that sometimes you wonder if you're dating a prince.
•Dick's supportive of your interests and will cheer you up if he feels like you're lacking motivation. He will praise you and give you a compliment whenever he notices you did something good or when you go to tell him a good new.
•It's hard to have some alone time with him thanks to his busy schedule. Dick can't stay still, he needs to work and protect the city, because he cares about the others but also needs the action to live.
•Dick is a cheerful man, the occasions were he hits rock bottom are odd but they happen.
•And he tends to close himself to the world and drown in his own sorrows for a while. It's hard to see him like this and the worst part is that he doesn't want to ask for help until his mind is a little less darker.
•Dick is a really affective boyfriend, he will grab your head and pepper it with kisses as he says how much he loves it, also he has the habbit to put an arm around your shoulders or waist whenever you're walking together.
•Another thing he always do is pulling you back to the bed and put himself on top of you so you won't go.
•Dick would nuzzle his head in the crook of your neck and give it a kiss before going back to sleep.
•Dick is a man low-key scared of commitment, but will still idolize you.
•It's hard for him to settle down and decide for one thing, he will overthink everything and try to look at your current situation for every single angle possible, however, in his eyes you're a great person, sexy and just amazing.
•He might even twist everything and think you're already dating when nothing really has been confirmed.
•Okay so this one goes for his Titans version: I don't know why, but I feel that sometimes Dick can manipulate your needs and turn them into his own desires, to be more concrete emotional blackmail.
•He could do this unconsciously and without really wanting it, because once he realizes what he did he will feel very bad about himself, which would lead him to isolate himself from you for a while to think about everything he has done and then apologizing .
•It's hard for Dick to do so because being aware of what he has done to you, but he needs you to know he feels deeply fucking sorry and he understands if you want to broke up.
Tag list @bathroom-sand @aterriblelangblr @simpery @strangerthings14 @jyarumu0619 @kellieriddle96 @adarksoul098 @rosethegothamhistorynerd @duckmylife18 @panic-attheplace @malfoys-demigod @darkraven1983 @magicisabluewish @hamdehlesmis @lucy-roo @lovelyartemisa @missmaskedwriter @c0-77 @ginevraxrogers @imagines-fluff-yandere-smut @shadygoateeprincess @nervousfandom @ghost-bitch @silverw19 @thegirlwholovesbooksblog @hecatemacbeth7 @unknowntoanyone @mistalli @screechingghostbananafarm @psych0crybaby @barnowl48 @waroncheer @lady-stirling @ghostly-ginger @greeknerd007 @caswinchester2000 @sara5208 @la-femme-lupita @jasonsballsack @violettessuniverse @wondergal21 @disnerd626 @pree-2003-blog @dreamxcollide @thirstiestpotato
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gubler-me-up · 4 years
Text
Broken Telephone
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Request: Spencer Request. You're new to the team, having transferred from the NYPD and are also studying for a Doctorate at the same time. Spencer falls in love with you straight away, but saddens when he hears you talking to JJ about a guy you do a load of fun activities with a guy and a little girl. He assumes you're taken and it breaks his heart. Eventually, he finds out you were talking about your cousin and his daughter & asks you out on a date, and you say yes.
A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! This was a really cute, fun request to write! Starting it was tough though because I didn’t know the exact tone I wanted for it. I hope it’s okay though! When I was reading through the beginning part before I edited it I was like “I have a whole degree in English and I can’t even write properly i hate it here” LOL the first paragraph was a MESS but I fixed it. I think the rest is fine! Enjoy, love!!
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Fluff
Content warning: None
Word count: 1.7k
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Upgrading from NYPD to the BAU was probably your greatest career move to date. You hated how NYPD operated and dealt with crimes. It made you so frustrated. If you weren’t born and raised in New York you wouldn’t even be a part of NYPD. You felt as if New York would always be your home, but sometimes you had to branch out to find what’s best for you.
Moving to Washington, D.C. was a completely new start for you and you felt as if it were only right you changed a few things about yourself. First, you cut your hair shorter. Very cliche of a restart arc, but you thought you’d feel free with less weight weighing your head down. You also bought an actual house. After years of living in a small, cramped apartment you thought it was right to invest in something bigger and more welcoming.
The biggest thing you were proud of during the transition to the BAU was finishing your Ph.D. in Linguistics. You had wanted to complete it years ago, but found it difficult to focus on it while at NYPD. With the bureau they allowed you to work on your Ph.D. as long as you worked your agreed-upon hours every week. It felt amazing to finally have a support net to motivate you towards your dreams.
You weren’t the only one excited about your Ph.D. though. Your coworker, Dr. Spencer Reid, couldn’t wait to see you during your time in to discuss your Ph.D. with you. As soon as you walked to your desk, he’d be the first one to greet you with a huge, lovable smile, rosy red cheeks and a sparkle in his eyes. You had never seen someone so animated over linguistics before. If you two weren’t talking about linguistics or random facts he would spurt out, the conversation was about you.
On one particular day though, the good doctor was running late to work. You were kind of disappointed you weren’t greeted with a daily dose of facts early in the morning. The second best thing happened when JJ walked towards your desk with two Starbucks coffees.
“Ugh, if I knew you a few years earlier, I would have married you before Will could ever dream to,” you said.
She laughed. “I don’t think Spence would allow that to happen without a fight. He’s been quite the busy bee around you.”
She handed you your drink as you pondered on what she said. Just maybe he had a slight crush on you. The way he expressed his interest was adorable for sure. You preferred his way of flirting over the typical sexualized pick-up lines many men in your life have used.
“Are you saying super-genius Dr. Spencer Reid has a crush on me? I won’t believe it until he runs some tests about your theory,” you said as you took a sip of your coffee.
“Maybe he’ll ask you out one of these days between statistics,” she said.
You smiled. “That would be nice. I just hope he doesn’t do it this weekend. Remember I told you how Adrian was visiting this weekend? He’s bringing the little one with him.”
“Oh, really? What’s their name?”
“Her name’s Rhea. She’s the cutest little thing ever.”
You pulled out your phone to look for a picture of them. You found a picture of the three of you from a few months ago before you left for D.C. You turned your phone to JJ and she instantly melted.
“Oh my gosh, she’s adorable,” she said.
You proudly smiled. “Right. She’s the cutest four-year-old I know. I think I was the happiest one in the room when I met her for the first time. Adrian was a puddle of tears and nerves from the reality of taking care of this little girl forever. He treats her like an absolute princess.”
“You both are lucky to have her in your lives. She looks like a ray of sunshine.”
“She is. We do so many fun things together. The last time we hung out we went to this trampoline park. This weekend we’re going to the food festival.”
“That does sound like a lot of fun. Maybe I’ll bring Will and the kids there.”
You were going to respond to JJ until you noticed Reid sitting at his desk which was diagonally across from yours. You hadn’t even noticed him come in at all let alone sit down to start his workday. He had already buried his nose deep into case files. JJ looked at Reid with as much confusion as you did. He was never quiet unless something was troubling him.
“No fact today for me, doctor?” You joked.
He looked up at you. He had no sparkle in his eye or a blush painted on his face. He looked disappointed. You were confused as to what made your chatty doctor become so mute.
“I just wanted to start these case files,” he said.
“You sure there isn’t anything wrong, Spence?” JJ asked.
“No, I’m fine. I just gotta finish these before Hotch comes in,” he said.
He then buried his face back into the file without uttering another word. You and JJ looked at each other. You were concerned there was something wrong, but JJ’s look said to leave it alone for now. You sighed and took another long sip of your coffee. You stared at him out of the corner of your eye. You hoped whatever he was going through he’d tell you eventually.
————
You packed your things up to leave 20 minutes ago, but stuck around your desk until you saw Reid also getting ready to leave. You wanted to inquire about his miserable attitude towards you. You noticed throughout the day he was normal with everyone else except you. When you tried to spark conversation, he would give you quick, to the point answers before he made a B-line back to his desk. He gave you no choice but to crack him.
As soon as you saw him put his books and files into his satchel. He swung the strap around his shoulder and made his way to the door. He didn’t even look at you the whole time he got ready to leave. This was getting ridiculous to you. You picked up your purse and ran towards him before he caught the elevator.
“Spencer,” you called out.
He turned to look at you. “What’s up?”
You looked at him confused. “What’s up with me? What’s up with you?”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you haven’t talked to me or even looked at me longer than a second today.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“You weren’t too busy to tell Morgan how many microscopic mites were living on his face today.”
“I thought it was valuable information he needed to know.”
“And you didn’t think it would be valuable to tell me?”
“In the moment, no.”
He went to go press the button for the elevator but you stopped his hand. You grabbed his hand tightly to make sure he didn’t escape your grip. He looked at you as if he was uncomfortable with you touching him. You knew awhile ago he had thing about not liking to shake hands, but you had stepped over that barrier with him a long time ago.
“I don’t think you should be doing this,” he quietly said.
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Why not?”
“I feel as if I’ve been intruding,” he said.
“Intruding on what?”
“Your family life.”
You let go of his hand as you stood there in shock. You didn’t understand what he meant when he said that. If he wanted to ask you out all he had to do was ask and you’d sort out your schedule. Adrian and Rhea would understand if you took a few hours to go on your first date in over two years.
“You think you’re intruding on my family life? How so?” You asked.
“If you really want to know I wanted to take you to the food festival this weekend because I know how much you love unique foods, but then I heard you and JJ talking about your partner and daughter coming this-“
“Hold up, wait,” you said before bursting into an uncontrollable laugh.
He looked at you funny. You watched as he stared in confusion as you laughed at his interpretation of your conversation with JJ. To be fair you had never mentioned Adrian and Rhea to him before, but you didn’t know he’d be eavesdropping in your conversation with JJ.
“You think Adrian’s my partner and Rhea’s my kid? Well, I’m proud to say that for once in Dr. Spencer Reid’s life he is completely, utterly wrong.”
“What?”
“Yeah, Adrian’s my cousin and Rhea’s his daughter. They’re coming to visit me from New York for the weekend. Adrian’s basically like a big brother to me.”
His face went from confused to embarrassed in a fraction of a second. His face turned to that noticeable red and an awkward smile spread across his face. You continued to laugh at his demeanour as you pressed the elevator button, so the two of you could actually get going.
“Oh. I’m so sorry for being weird to you, Y/N. I just felt terrible for thinking about asking you on a date while you were in a committed relationship,” he said.
“I get it, I do. I think you can make it up to me though,” you said.
The elevator dinged and the two of you stepped inside. He looked at you in amusement. You looked back at him with a big smile on your face and big, hopeful eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh.
“Would you like to go on a date?” He asked.
You nodded your head. “I’d love to. We can even go to the food festival, so you can meet Adrian and Rhea in person.”
“That would be nice. I heard you telling JJ how lovely they are.”
“I bet they seem even lovelier now that you know they’re not my partner and child.”
“You can say that.”
—–
MASTERLIST
968 notes · View notes
catxsnow · 4 years
Text
YOU NOT HIM T.D.
Request: Can i request reader liking dick but he reject her because she is too young or something lol. But then tim has a crush on her and she slowly starts to fall for him. Then dick regrets it. Pretty please? 🙏 Thanks!
Warning: angst, mentions of blood, if you squint really hard mentions of sexual content, fluff
A/N: This might be one of my favourites 🥺🥺
Word count: 5.1k 
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Bruce Wayne was somehow able to adopt all attractive children. Every single kid that he had living under his roof turned out to be ridiculously handsome later on in life. Dick, the oldest - a ladies man through and through. Jason had his whole 'bad boy' persona - though you knew him well enough to know he was nothing but a sweetheart.
Tim was nothing but lovable. He was kind and sweet to you since the beginning. Even Damian who was still young was going to grow up to be just like his father. They were all incredibly good looking people - all of which had made you weak in the knees.
You had been running alongside Bruce and his family for a couple years. Long enough to have known their identities and long enough to be an equal with them. It was had being a sidekick to the great Batman, but you had made do. Being partners with Tim worked fine, but the moment he left, you did too.
Years of training, hard work, and pining over Dick Grayson. The only problem being - he was twenty-six and you were just past the age of eighteen. Far too young for him and in his eyes, way too immature. That didn't stop you from liking him more and more every time you saw him.
You had even gone out of your way to move to Bludhaven to be closer to him. Working more cases in the night with him, getting every chance that you got to be with him. You were hopelessly yearning for him.
Dick Grayson was perfect. He was kind, patient, a total badass. In all your time of knowing him, he always took his time with you no matter the situation. If you couldn't get a proper training move down, he'd stay with you until you got it. Having trouble with your school work - he'd sit with you and figure it out.
He truly was the perfect man, and you wished nothing more to know if he felt the same way. So, the next time you saw him - you risked everything. You told Dick of your feelings for him, how you wished to be together and be the one to love him. You spilled your heart out to him, hoping that he would accept you.
As you should have known, he didn't. Dick saw you as nothing but a little sister he never had. You were far too young for him. His love for you was always there, just not in the way that you had hoped. Heartbroken, you assured him that you understood him and that everything was okay. As long as you didn't lose him forever, that was what mattered the most.
You were thankful that Dick didn't make things awkward between you. Every time you saw him it seemed just like old times - but now you knew not to get your hopes up anymore. Dick had made his choice, and he wasn't going to change it.
With a broken heart, you moved back to Gotham. Back to working with Batman and Robin- neither of which you were fond to be back with. Things weren't the same, Bruce and Damian didn't need you anymore. You would fly solo unless it was some sort of big raid - often times having to go home to an empty apartment where you would have to sew your own wounds.
You missed what your life was like in Bludhaven. Going back would be too hard, you needed to distance yourself from Dick, let these feelings simmer away until there was nothing left. At least, you hoped that was what was going to happen.
Another night of Gotham and another night of blood soaking through your suit. It had only been a few weeks since you had been back but it felt like a lifetime. Gotham was draining and you forgot how terrible it treated you.
"Heard you were back in town," a voice called out. You were in the bathroom, trying to stitch up the cut along your torso. The sudden arrival had caused you to jump, making your wound even worse. "Oh fuck, sorry."
Tim Drake stood at your door. He wore jeans and a t-shirt that showed just how much stronger he had gotten since you had last seen him. You glared at him between winces of pain. Tim carefully grabbed the needle and thread from your bloody hands, wordlessly taking your place and finishing the job.
"What the fuck, Tim," You snapped. Since being home, you were in no mood to speak to anyone of the Wayne family. It was nice being on your own for a while. Besides, he was supposed to be with the Teen Titans right now. "What are you doing here?"
"Heard you were back in Gotham," He repeated earlier. His stitching jabbed you a little too violently and you jerked at the pain. Without realizing you had latched onto his thigh to try to dim the searing hurt that ran up your body. You never noticed Tim's breathing catch in his throat and the heat that crawled up his neck. "Thought I'd come by and see you."
"How'd you find me?" You asked. You never told anyone where you had set up your new home. Tim only gave you a look - of course. He knew how to find you, he could find anyone if he so wanted to it wasn't too difficult. You appreciated him for going out of his way to meet up with you.
Tim finished the last stitch and wiped away the rest of the blood that stained your skin. He placed a white bandage over it and stretched his back from being crouched for so long. Without missing a beat, he followed you to your room, watching you rummage through your drawer to find a t-shirt to wear.
"I'm guessing you didn't just come for a visit," You continued. Tim leaned against your door, arms crossed over his chest. While he explained himself, you went out to clean up your weapons used from the night, something to keep you busy and your mind off the idea that he might bring up Dick's rejection.
"I came to see if you wanted to join me," He announced. You raised an eyebrow at him. So many times you had explicitly stated that you wanted no part of any team. After learning everything from Batman, you picked up on his undesirable trait of not wanting to be part of a team. Whether it was the Justice League or the Teen Titans.
You scoffed and pushed past him to retrieve your bloody suit. It would need to be fixed and cleaned up before tomorrow night. Tim followed you through your small home. He had wanted you to join for a long time, now that you were done your little escapade in Bludhaven, it was the perfect chance to convince you.
"Come on, you're coming home with wounds every night and I'm worried about you," Tim tried to change your mind. Your eyes narrowed at his words - this hadn't been the first time that he had seen you in Gotham.
"You've been following me?" You asked, but more so looking for confirmation. Tim hung his head in shame. He felt like an idiot for letting that slip - you shouldn't have known about it. It had been several days that he had been in Gotham. Bruce knew, he never told you until now.
"I was worried about you," Tim confessed. "I heard about what happened with Dick and I didn't want you to do anything drastic." More like he was hoping that he could be the one to swoop in and win your heart. You were only a year older than Tim, but while you were pining after Dick, he was pining after you.
Those years as being partners he had fallen in love with you. He loved the way that you were so excited to save people, how you were so easily able to solve problems, and the way you smiled when you were excited. This whole time, you hadn't noticed because you were so busy with trying to sway Dick.
You cringed at him revealing knowing about what happened between you and Dick. That was the last thing you wanted to hear come from him mouth - it was embarrassing. You didn't even want to think about what it would be like if Damian found out what had happened; he would never let you hear the end of it.
"I'm not going to work with a team of kids," you kept up with your answer.
"They - we - aren't kids. I just thought maybe you'd like some fresh faces," Tim argued. The selfish part of him wanted you to come just because he wanted to see you. He wouldn't tell you that, not yet anyways.
You had to admit, the idea of getting out of Gotham and seeing some fresh faces sounded a little too perfect to you. It would be nice to put Batman and Co. on the back burner until this stupid flutter in your heart for Dick went away. As much as you didn't want to join a team, it was your best option.  
The bloody suit in your hand dropped to the ground. Maybe it was time for a completely new revamping. New name, new suit, new team, new city. You had been the same vigilante for years - Dick, Jason, even Tim had all grown out of their original stage and into something new. Maybe it was time for you to do so too.
"You know what? Fuck it."
><
"Tim!" You screeched. Your face was bright red from all the blood flowing to it. Everything was viewed upside down and you were starting to get dizzy.
It had been well over a year since you had joined the Titans. They were all excited to see you there, many faces that you had never seen before and even more that you liked to consider friends. Bart, Kon, Cassie - you were all so excited to see them. Joining this team seemed like a pain but the second you stepped into the tower you knew you made the right choice.
Your new persona made you feel alive again and you were more ready than ever to get back out on the streets to kick some ass. This new life that you created here, it was something that you never thought you would be able to do. For the first time in a long time, you felt happy, at home. Something that never truly happened at the Manor.
"Tim! Let me go!" You laugh echoed through the massive room. The two of you had been training - though at that moment neither of you were taking it seriously in the slightest. Tim had grabbed you by the thighs and hauled you over his shoulder, running around and not letting go.
You slapped his ass, hoping that it would be enough to get him to let you go. Instead, he slapped yours even harder. Thankfully he set you back down on the ground, but didn't considering letting you out of his hold. Tim pulled you against his chest, kissing you long and sweet to make up for his behavior.
"Sorry, my love," Tim smirked. No he wasn't.
Maybe the reason that you were so happy with you new life was because of Tim. Tim Drake had been the one to convince you to change homes, and the one to wiggle his way in to mend your broken heart. He had stood by your side through thick and thin, doing everything in his power to make you feel better.
Along the way, he had also gotten you to fall in love with him. Dick was out of your mind, every thought now consumed by Tim. The first year you were there, it was incredible to see such a change within you. Everyone saw it - Bart making the most fun of your growing feelings for Tim. Feelings that you denied for a very long time.
Everyone could see how hopelessly in love you were with each other. You hadn't been able to believe if for a long time. Tim was your friend, your partner - not a lover. There was no way that you saw him like that, right? You had never been so wrong in your entire life.
Maybe these feelings for Tim had always been there. Maybe you were just too busy following Dick around that you didn't have the time to realize it. Or maybe he had brought out a side of him that you hadn't realized existed. You saw him differently than you had when he was Robin.
It was one night that the two of you were alone in the tower - a first since you had been there - that had gotten you to admit your feelings. The night was calm and you guys took the opportunity to play a movie on the big screen. Unfortunately for you, the whole movie you had been consumed with the idea of kissing him.
A perfectly timed sex scene had given you a strange amount of courage. You couldn't take this tension with him anymore. So, you had nearly leaped on top of him, pressing your lips against his. Tim didn't hesitate to react to it, kissing you back and pulling you onto his lap. You straddled him, fingers threading through his hair as he desperately tried to peel your clothes off.
After a very embarrassing, almost naked, confrontation with your teammates that had suddenly arrived, you and Tim became inseparable. Several months of dating and you knew that you had made the right choice with him. Tim cared about you in ways that you never thought a man would do for you.
"Yeah, yeah," You waved him off. Your face was finally going back to normal as the blood flow balancing out. "There's a lot of ways you could make it up to me, you know?" You grinned, hands trailing up his bare chest.
"Oh yeah?" Tim placed his hands on your hips, pulling you completely flush against him. He trailed soft kisses up your neck, eager to hear what you were thinking. "What'd you have in mind?"  
Suddenly, your foot hooked into his ankles and you pulled his legs out from right under him. Tim groaned as his back painfully hit the training mat and a disappointed look filled his eyes. "Buying me lunch."
Tim didn't let you get very far. He pulled the same move as you did and brought you down on the mat. Tim trapped you beneath him, his legs on either side of yours and hands by your shoulders. You could get out if you so wished - but you didn't.
You were thankful he let your hands free. You placed them on either side of his face and pulled him down so you could connect your lips. There were many times that you would be in the training room, Tim convincing you to make out and every time someone would walk in. This time you felt dangerously brave.
Tim gasped as your hands trailed down his chest and towards his shorts. "You really want to risk that right now?" He asked between kisses. You responded without words, and instead adding pressure to your hold. Tim groaned into your neck, there was no way that he could say no to you.
"Tim!"
You had never seen your boyfriend jump off of you so quickly before. The voice hadn't belonged to any of your teammates and the tone of it wasn't scolding, it was excited. Whoever it was, obviously hadn't fully seen what had been going on. You should have expected that you wouldn't get what you wanted.
"(Y/N)?" Dick Grayson faltered in his spot. It was the first time that he had seen you since he had let you down. Nearly two years without seeing how much you had grown.  He had heard that you had moved into the tower, but it had been a long time since you had gone home to Gotham.
Tim went without you, working with Bruce for a few cases here and there. No one had visited the tower while you were there and you had to admit that you were thankful for it. Leaving your past behind - besides Tim - it was refreshing. Seeing Dick again had brought back a tug in your heart that you thought was long gone.
"Dick," You half smiled. His hair was shorter than last time you had seen him. Muscles more defined than ever. The bags under his eyes were worse but his smile was still the exact same. Dick hadn't expected you to be with Tim, not romantically. You never seemed interested in him growing up.
Your breathing caught in your throat. After seeing him for the first time in a long time, you didn't realize the wave of emotions that would come. You were confused by everything flooding your brain - hope, guilt, desire, even anger.
"You look great," he complimented, bringing you in for a hug. It was true. You had grown a lot in these two years. Different hair, more fit than you ever been in your life. Being on this team had done you good in more ways than one.
"What're you doing here?" Tim asked. Dick stared as you interlocked hands with your boyfriend.
"I'm, uh, taking Kori's place as team leader for a little while," Dick explained. Kori had mentioned before that she was going to need to take some time away. She never said what for or when, but she must have had to leave sooner than anticipated. "You guys are together?"
"Yep," your voice strained. You never imagined that this reunion would be so tense. It was easier to see Dick right after he had let you down than it was now. For some reason, his appearance had created a tension. You weren't sure if it was from you, or if Tim was suddenly jealous of his older brother, or Dick was just uncomfortable with it all.
"Congrats," Dick nodded. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. A sudden noise came from outside the room. "I'm gonna go see everyone else I guess. See you later tonight?" You and Tim both nodded in sync. It seemed like the moment that he stepped out of the room, you both let out a breath of air.
"That was weird, right?" You asked, staring at the door that Dick left from rather than up at Tim. You couldn't have been the only one to find that whole confrontation painful. Tim nodded in agreement. His jaw was tight and he glared at the door Dick just left from. "Wait a second, you're not jealous of Dick, are you?"
"No!" Tim defended. Unfortunately for him, you could tell that he was lying. "He was your first love! It's only been two years since he told you he didn't feel the same way. Besides, you didn't see the way he was looking at you. I just..." He trailed off, unsure if he was willing to say what was on his mind.
"You're worried I still have feelings for him," You finished. Tim wearily nodded. You placed your hands at the base of his neck, thumb brushing against his jawline. Tim was forced to look you in your eyes, as much as he didn't want to at this moment. "I love you, Tim. Only you. You have nothing to worry about."
You pulled him down for another kiss. Tim finally melted into your hold. He knew that you loved him, genuinely. However, it was still hard to have Dick be living in the same home as you once again. He felt childish for being jealous for no reason. Dick had already stated that he didn't have feelings for you - he didn't need to worry now.
At least he hoped.
><
Apparently Tim did have something to worry about - and it wasn't you.
Dick's time in the tower extended longer than he imagined it too. He was only supposed to be there for a week or two, now it had been nearly a month. While it was nice to have him around, especially on missions, Tim was eager for his brother to leave them again. He hated when the two of you spent time together.
Maybe it was just him being jealous, maybe he was paranoid. Either way, whenever it was the two of you alone, Tim got antsy. Kon was the first to notice. He assured his best friend that he had nothing to worry about - as far as his Kryptonian sense could tell, you didn't have any feelings for Dick.
Tim found himself spending more nights in your room, keeping you in bed longer than he normally would in the mornings. He even held hands with you more often; you had enjoyed his affection, even though you knew where it had stemmed from.
It was an afternoon of training did he finally have enough. Dick was using you as a partner to show off some new moves for all the team to learn. The two of you danced around the mat, anticipation running high. You were both drenched in sweat, breathing heavy from your previous spar.
"Come on, Big Bird," You taunted. Dick hated that name, it only reminded him of Sesame Street. He hadn't heard that name in a long time - not since he had seen you last. For some reason, it had caught him off guard enough for you to make your strike. Dick reoriented himself rather quickly.
Instead of you taking him down, he had roughly slammed you to the floor. Dick hovered over you, eyes soft as he met yours. Ever since he had been back with you in the tower, there was something eating him alive. Guilt? Shame? He tried to blame his feelings on those but he knew what it was: regret.
Dick regretted letting you go all those years ago. When he was asked to take over the Titans Tower, he was excited to see you. In two short years he had hoped that you hadn't moved on. Not seeing you nearly every day left a hole in his chest and he didn't realize what it was until seeing you again.
Upon realizing that you were with Tim, he felt his heart crack. Of course he had lost his chance with you - and it was no one to blame but himself. Dick pushed you away because he thought you to be too young, when in reality he was just scared of hurting you.
"Dick!" Tim's voice echoed throughout the training room. There was a harsh tone to it, full of jealousy and frustration. It had broken him out of his trance. Dick hadn't realized just how long he had been pinning you down. You tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he was far too strong to get of without hurting him. He had been completely lost in thought being that close to you again.
He shook his head to rid those thoughts, thoughts of you. Dick pushed himself up off the ground and stuck his hand out for you to grab. You didn't take it. Instead, you moved back to Tim's side. He instantly swooped down to kiss your lips. Dick knew what Tim was doing - he was being possessive of you. It was easy to notice with the glare that followed. 
"That's it for today," Dick announced. He left the training room, followed by the rest of your team. It was only Tim, Bart, and Cassie that knew about your history with Dick. Bart and Cass both gave you a weary look as they walked by you. For once, you felt uncomfortable under their gaze.
Finally, it was just you and Tim left. He stared at the floor, thoughts running through his head and keeping him in this trance. What was Dick thinking? Why was he acting like that? Like he regretted his choice with you? He was beyond angered at his brother for looking at you like he was.
You grabbed both of his hands, staring up at him as if he was the only thing that mattered in this world. Tim's gaze where Dick hovered of you wouldn't falter - and sadly you had known exactly what he was thinking. Dick was a ladies man, he knew how to flirt his way through everything and he certainly knew how to flirt with you.
If there was one person in this world that could convince you to leave Tim, it was Dick. He was the one to have your heart first, not Tim.
"Babe," you finally spoke. Your hands slid up his arms until cupping his face. Tim finally met your eyes with a broken look. "I love you, and only you. I need you to know that."
"I do," he whispered. It sounded as if he didn't believe himself, and in some ways, he didn't. All his life he grew up wondering how Dick got women so easily. Now, as soon as he finally gets you, Dick comes back with god knows what intentions. "I love you, too."
"Big Belly Burger?" You offered. Tim hinted at a smile, somehow you always managed to make a dark room light.
"You're buying."
><
You had managed to avoid Dick for the rest of the week. Patrol was exclusively with Tim, training you were paired with Cassie, even at dinner you would sit as far as possible from him. Whether it was because you were good at avoiding him, or if he was putting in the effort as well, you didn't mind the space.
It was your teammates that would catch Dick glancing at you at random points in the day. No one would ever say anything about it, but they all knew that something was going on between the two of you - or something had gone on. In all your time there, it seemed like Tim was the only one on your mind, they didn't think Dick had an important role as well.
It wasn't until the end of the week did Dick corner you. It was late at night, Tim was asleep in your bed and the others were all in their rooms. You found yourself in the kitchen for a late night snack and some tea. One of the few times that you were alone, he knew that he needed to talk to you and set things straight.
"(Y/N)," Dick startled you. Your back was towards him and the sound of his voice had caused you to jump - along with spill boiling hot tea on your hand. "Shit, sorry," he apologized. Dick ran cold water on the tap and gestured for you to put your hand under. Instead, you turned the water off and dried your warm skin.
You didn't want his help.
"What do you need, Dick?" You asked. Tired bags were under your eyes as you looked to him. What he had done at the start of the week had been keeping you up all night.
"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry," Dick began. "I'm sorry for hurting you all those years ago, I'm sorry for the other day, I'm sorry for not realizing your feelings sooner... and mine. I didn't realize how much I cared about you until seeing you again, or I guess seeing you with Tim. I know that I'm a day late and a dollar short, but I needed to tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"Tell you that I love you," Dick revealed. His arms were crossed over his chest and he avoided your gaze. It took him two years to realize his mistake of missing out on you and he regretted it. He wished that he hadn't been so ridiculous to think your age mattered - now when in the grand scheme of things it wasn't even a big age gap.
Your breathing stopped for a second. Two years ago you would have been ecstatic to hear those words come from his mouth. That was all you wanted to hear from him. Now, now the words sent a chill down your spine and left you with a dry mouth. You didn't want to hear that from him anymore.
The grip on your mug tightened until you swore the ceramic was going to crack. You let out a huff of air, frustrated with his words. Why was he telling you this now? To ruin your relationship with Tim? To win your heart back? You loved Tim, and that was the end of the story. Dick was your friend, that was all.
"I think it's time you head back to Bludhaven, Dick," You met his eyes once more. The team would do fine without him or Kori for a few more days. Right now, you just wanted him gone. You didn't want to have to look Dick in the eyes knowing that he loved you and you no longer felt the same way.
The distance apart had done wonders on you, now he needed to do the same. Forget about you, find someone else. You wanted Dick to be happy, to be in love. He was still basically your family, you always wanted what was best for him. Being around you after this revelation? That was far from what was best.
"I'm sorry," Dick apologized once more.
"So am I," you placed a hand on his shoulder as you walked by. You paused at the doorway, debating whether or not to tell him that you wished him all the best. In the end, you decided against it and walked back towards your room.
Tim was still asleep in your bed. His back was exposed and the covers were down to his waist. Snores filled the silent room, muffled by the pillow that he was hugging. This was the love of your life. You were always meant to be with Tim, never Dick. It might have taken you over half a decade to realize it, but it was well worth the wait.
The mug of tea that you had made for yourself was set on your desk and long forgotten. Instead, you slipped into bed with Tim, who stirred at your appearance. The pillow he was hugging was replaced with you and he snuggled into the crook of your neck. Tim sleepily left a kiss against your skin, too tired to fully wake.
"I love you, Timmy. More than anyone," You whispered. He was already back asleep, unaware of the words you spoke. Unaware of the conversation that you had with Dick. It was best that he didn't know. You and Dick were adults, there was no childish rivalry needed. You didn't want to be the one to ruin a brotherly relationship.
Tim had you, that was all that mattered.
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acetarisborn · 3 years
Text
Happy (delayed) international asexuality day!!!
I haven't written (and posted) in a while and one of my most popular posts is the one about me simping for Asmo from Obey Me while being ace so... what better day to post this than yesterday!! But I fell asleep so now...
The brothers falling in love with an asexual MC
This is my first time writing one of these so it may end up feeling more like fanfiction than headcacons lol.
Asmo
The second you saw this gorgeous charming man it was love at first sight, and he felt the same way
Although you might have felt a little intimidated when you found out he's the avatar of lust. You might even think you have no chance!
But oh boy are you wrong
This man adores every aspect of you. From your gorgeous body to your breath-taking personality and he knows you love him as well.
The surprise in his eyes when he finds out you don't like him only for his looks is priceless
He can't help but blush brightly every time you give him the slightest of compliments, which sometimes turn into ankward laughs if he adds a sexual advance at the end
You try everything to let him know without telling him. Wear the ring, make several ace jokes and even wear the damn flag pattern on your clothes, to a point that the entirety of RAD but Asmo knows you're ace
But to be fair he might not even know what asexual means
He lets you know his feelings in a BIG way, something very intricate and romantic like a huge banner with help of the bros or plans a situation where you two end up dating
When you tell him you're asexual he's shocked to say the least
Not all humans enjoy sex?! Truly the newest concept he's ever heard
He does get sad at first, realizing he won't be able to experience that pleasure he's been fantazising about, but once he thinks about how out of all the beings in the Devildom you fell in love with the demon of Lust himself he bursts in laughter
He stops abruptly once he realizes why you look scared or sad because of his laugh and explains himself immediatley
If you tell him you understand if he doesn't want you he turns serious and grabs your hand
"Mc, you are the most gorgeous, kind-hearted and amazing person I've ever met, I didn't fell in love with how you are in bed or anything about sex! I fell in love with everything that makes you, you. I would never leave you over something so... so ridiculous! No matter how much I enjoy it!"
Once you guys start dating he showers you with gifts and fancy stuff (mostly skincare products)
He starts being super cautious about what he does or says, but eventually loosens up after the thounsand time you told him to do so
He also loves kissing you all over your face (if it's okay with you). On the lips, nose, cheeks or your forehead
All because he wants to remind you every day how precious you are in his eyes and that he loves you no matter what
Beel
You can't tell me you guys didn't fell in love that time you shared a room, you knew at the spot but this certified himbo is very oblivious
"Im hung-" He never gets to finish this sentence again because you always have a snack or food to offer him
Of course this is what starts his liking to you.
He doesn't realizes at first but it's the little things like what draws him in
He always wants to seat next to you at lunch and just talk for hours, he blushes at the sight of your smile or his eyes light up every time he sees you walk by
He begs you to cook for him no matter how many times you already do or say you're terrible. If you make him a bento this will make his whole week
Once he realizes his feelings he plans to tell you, not knowing you were planning on telling him you're ace and doing the same
"That's cool but um...whats an ace?"
Once you explain it to him he's a little surprised but nothing too extreme, he understands and didn't paid mind to sex anyway, he's happy he got to know beforehand.
"Oh, that sounds like you, good to know, specially now, because..."
He stops hiding a big box of chocolates and opens it, the chocolates spelling "Will you be my partner?"
If you ask him if he's okay he nods almost agressively, which ends up in you tackling him in a hug
Once you start dating he's ready to provide bear hugs and cuddles, he's the cuddliest demon in the Devildom
"Hey, I found this food/thing with the ace flag colors, thought you might like it"
He asks you to help him cook whenever he's hungry. Doesn't matter if it's the greatest culinary piece ever or an absolute disaster, he's happy he gets to spend time with you.
Levi
Okay but that overflowing PASSION when he rambles on about TSL, that fire in his eyes, *chef kiss* you can't help but stare dreamily at him
"watcha looking at normie?" He asks while blushing madly at the way you kept looking at him
The first time he finally accepted he's in love is when you dragged him to your room to watch a new anime, he realized you were a total weeb just like him (And I know you are because why else would you be here?)
Since then you have anime nights at least once a month with all the snacks you can get in your bed or couch
He obviously loves playing any kind of videogame with you, he doesn't like some of the ones you do but plays them anyways just to see you celebrate once you've won
Dragging you to conventions is a given, he spends weeks making you the perfect couples cosplay, staying all night muttering about how yours needs to be perfect
Since most of his brothers don't care/like or are too busy for his ramblings about a new game or anime he goes to your room very often. He's happy you're always there for him.
But IS HE JEALOUS
If he sees anyone flirting with you in the slightest of ways he'll go into overprotective mode. In a bad day this means as much as asking you for a pencil in class
We all know he puts you in a bit too high of a pedestal compared to him, but it's because he loves you and tries his best to gain confidence once you tell him how wonderful he is.
"They're so cool Henry! They are so nice to me and so pretty. I don't deserve them but do I want to try!!"
Since he's too shy and introverted none of you have asked the other out yet, but you decide to trust him and come out to him first.
"Oh yeah, I know plenty of asexual characters, I know what it is. That's great! You have my whole support!" This one takes you off guard
He talks about how he kinda suspected it but never said a word in fear that it could offend you.
This was enough for you to jump in and tell him your feelings.
To say he's blushing is an understatement. His whole body is red
"I like you to...But a-are you sure? You're just so pretty an- and amazing and I-I'm just a yucky otaku... Not that all otakus are yucky! You're not! Oh crap, I'm so sorry."
You snap him out of his rambling with a hug or a kiss, telling him how much you love him no matter how he belittles himself, because he's already perfect.
He tackles you in a hug out of excitement and says he loves you too
He has no problem with sex at all once your relationship starts, he wasn't having any to begin with and never thought of the idea of you guys doing it, so it's pretty much the same.
He tries his best to make bentos for you or use any romantic tecnique he has ever seen in romance animes
Instead of overprotective mode he now brags about his amazing partner to everyone he can.
"Mc, we should cosplay these characters! This one's ace!"
He'll do anything for you to feel safe and welcome in his arms no matter your sexuality.
Satan
This lovable bookworm fell in love later than anyone (except Belphegor) did, in the train murder mystery.
At first he thought it was mere admiration, but then why was his heart beating so fast?
Don't get me wrong, he's outraged. He hates that he's not paying attention to class to write poems, being distracted from his books because his mind wonders off thinking of you, and he despises that every time you bring him a cup of tea or flash a smile his face turns bright red in front of his brothers.
Eventually he has no choice but to ask Asmo and he is overjoyed. He offers himself as a wingman many times and Satan declines every single one
He doesn't tell you about this willingly, Asmo creates some devious situation where he ends up needing to confess his feelings.
He has never felt so relieved that the time you said you liked him too
He finally shows you some of his poetry (at least the less cringey ones) all of them talking about your outer and inner beauty in a way that almost moves you to tears
Everyone is surprised by how frequently one of the scariest demons out there lets himself get hugged by you at any given time, even if he's busy he always has time for you.
Also cats. Plushies, bags, clothes, anything with a cat on it you gift it to eachother
You eventually gather courage, enter his room and talk to him, thinking that maybe him being so distracted reading would soften the news
But he just nods mindlessly
"Satan? Did you hear me? I'm asexual" You take his book annoyed but the answer leaves you in shock
"Yeah, I know! can I go back to my book now?"
Turns out you were being painfully obvious and Satan is too smart not to notice.
"So... you're okay with it?"
"What in the world made you think I wasn't?"
He closes his book and you two have a long talk about how he accepts you and loves you for who you are over some tea
Mammon
He has always been in love with you as you have with him, what else is there to say?
Mammon melts at the slightest of touches and compassion you show him
He's so happy every time he's with you because you actually treat him like his brothers should
He loves them but they aren't the kindest towards him, so there's nothing better than hearing from you how much he's worth
He repeatedly asks you for money or pulls out some pranks but suddenly stops. How weird? Could it be that he feels bad for making you feel any kind of sad?
You have to stop him from saying he's your first several times, thankfully it eventually works
He tells you how great you are in a way he isn't directly telling you? But you can just know
"Hey, hu-I mean Mc! You're...the less annoying person in this place...Thanks for that" Yes, that was him trying to compliment you
As your bond becomes stronger he starts to loosen up to you. Leaving you gifts or flowers at your door with a smile on his face.
"Lucifer took my dear goldie for a week because of this but ya know... it's worth it."
When you actually accepted to go to the biggest casino in the Devildom he considered it as your first date.
You spend the hole night seeing him win and loose money, even pulling you in to have fun as well
You two take a break exhausted at a fountain. Mammon sees his chance and goes in slowly for a kiss
"Wait, Mammon. If we're actually going to...date, there's something you have to know."
"You're the most outstanding human, what the hell, the most outstanding being in the three worlds I've ever met in my eternity, Mc! What makes you think I'd leave someone as breathtaking as you over wether or not you wanna have sex?!"
"For some people it's a big dealbreaker..."
"Well, not for the Great Mammon! Only an idiot would let you go because of your sexuality. And no matter what they all say, I'm no idiot"
You end the night holding hands and going back to the House of Lamentation, ready to start this beautiful romance.
Lucifer
Ok. First things first. Everyone can agree Lucifer is (or seems) even hornier than Asmo, so this is gonna get...complicated. But we'll get into that
He sure seems the least likely to actually show the vulnerability of being in love, but gosh did you made your way into his heart
It was a long and diffecult journey to get him to like you, but he eventually got a liking to you the more you guys spent time together
You were able to make him loosen up as well.
Dragging him to anywhere you loved instead of being sat down with mountains of paperwork
Always waking him up after he fell asleep in his desk with a blanket, a hot cocoa (Coffee if the work needs to be done by the next day) and even a kiss on the cheek if he's lucky
By the time the whole Belphie situation was defused he was finally able to show his true intentions
He's a fairly elegant person, so when he tries to make an advance, he does it with style
This means all kinds of fancy places once he's off from work with the most romantic of views. Every day you feel like being swept over by a true gentleman
I'm pretty sure he'd have you as his partner by now, maybe he never officially asked but you both imply you're a couple at this point.
But as I said it, he has his whole...punishing thing......
It's exactly because he starts crossing the line with one if these why you just had to stop him and tell the truth
He gets shocked and slowly start fitting the puzzle pieces in place
"Well, this is unexpected. Wait. Have I... made you feel uncomfortable around me all this time?"
Once you nod he falls in his bed ashamed
"My deepest apologies, my love. I truly hope you forgive my reckless words. I must know, are you not feeling safe in this relationship?"
You explain how wrong that asumption is, telling him how every day with him is incredible, but showed your discomfort at some of the things he says
He was relieved he hadn't crossed the line yet and was never going to let himself cross it.
"I am so glad you shared this information with me, I promise to make this relationship the most romantic experience of your life"
He stays up all night researching everything ablout being ace, he gives you gifts related to this, finds out your love language and does what it is every day, he does every romantic thing you can think of and he even asks you to go to a pride in the human world!
He's willing to do all he can in order for you to feel loved in any way you want
Belphegor
Well, he did tried to kill you, so I'm pretty sure his betrayal hurt if you helped him for love
He knows you're at least a little scared of him and he knows he needs to apologize, but never finds the time because you always seem wary of him
He tries by leaving a note in your desk that says "I'm so sorry for what I did. Thank you for bringing our family back together"
This is the first smile he gets out of you as you look at him
This escalates to him passing notes whenever he's not asleep. In class, the table at dinner, outside while hanging out with you and Beel, anywhere. This happens so often you end up always having a pen in hand to answer.
It goes until one of you decides to speak, you start talking and become best friends in no time
Although Belphie seems too possesive for his feelings to be just friendship
Honey, if you thought Levi was bad he's nothing compared to Belphie
He uses every excuse to get you away from anyone that possibly flirts with you. It's either that or his death glare burning them for several minutes until they run or apologize
He always wants to be with you, even if he's sleeping he feels the lack of your prescence
This is why he always tries to convince you to take naps with him, snuggling with you is the best part of his day
If you're more of a night owl he'll do his best to stay awake and look at the stars with you in the planetarium. Sometimes falling asleep in your shoulders "on accident" wink wink
He mumbled about you in his sleep and that's how you found out and ended up dating
The relationship is pretty much the same with more kisses and hand holding, along with him convincing you to skip class sometimes just to sleep
Also plushies, a lot of them, all of them
You decide to tell him one day while snuggling beneath the stars. Being sure enough that he'll understand, although the nerves are still there
"Okay... so?"
You express your worries and he stands up looking almost menacingly but his words killed the scary mood
"Are you dumb? How did you think someone like me would even worry about that?"
"I'm not Asmo, beds are for sleeping. Come on, lets steal that cake Lucifer saved in the fridge, I heard it's sort of an inside joke between us."
After this he keeps asking you about the whole asexual spectrum, thinking he might be part of it. He's shows true interest at every question you answer and tries to use this new information for future dates.
All and all it's very relaxing to date someone like him, who surprisingly has a very loving and understanding heart behind what people are used to see.
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pangtasias-atelier · 3 years
Text
Taking it Natural
Well I can never fully stick to an outline lmao. But, I did manage a lil fic involving just some simple stuff between Cormag and Artur.
Kink stuff is more on the lesser end, cause I wanted to focus a bit more on dialogue and also wanted to write something on the smaller scale of sizes. Also was just fun to write a shorter, simpler story and also one not set in Askr which I need to do more lol
"I am perfectly fine doing the dishes," Artur lightly hums to himself. He scrubs away at the bits and remnants of the day's finished meal. A few pots and pans already on the drying rack alongside the ladles, said dishes preemptively cleaned before dinner had even been eaten, he washes the clutter of used dinnerware. His back facing Cormag, his partner currently sits at the couch.
"I'll go check on Genarog then," His voice comes out strained. Completely leaning against the couch, Cormag's stomach continues its prolonged harassment towards its owner. His stomach is a cacophony of churning and gurgling noises, the overworked, stuffed gut letting it's discomfort be known. Despite his declaration of performing a chore, he simply remains seated with his head leaning back. His lips are parted as he languidly recovers enough energy to catch his breath.
"I already fed him and made sure he's comfortable in his stable," Arthur places a plate on the drying rack beside the just washed cutlery and glassware. His still soapy hands reach for the next plate to scrub at.
"Ah," Cormag's strenuous breathing remains the same. He keeps his eyes closed as a way to block out any possible external  discomfort besides his tumultuous tummy. "Then I'll…" Cormag trails off with a groan. A few extra pants and wheezes come out as his gut seems to give him an extra angry complaint. "Then I'll-"
"You can wait on the couch. I am fine, Cormag," The last plate cleaned and set aside to dry, he dries his hands on a dish towel, the damp cloth adorned with miniature wyverns. Turning around, he smiles as he gets an eyeful of Cormag's sorry stuffed state.
Cormag retiring from being a soldier, he had instead taken up woodworking once he and Artur decided to live together. His new line of work requiring a different, less intensive set of skills, the sudden change of constant routines and fighting to meticulous, long periods of time sitting while carving was a sudden change for his metabolism and appetite. The lack of much activity affecting his physique was only compounded by Artur's task of taking care of the house's chores. Cormag had already been aware of Artur's proficiency in the culinary arts through their occasional picnics back when the two had first begun a relationship, yet the latter's constant practice through cooking everyday left his prowess in the kitchen to something to truly be proud of. Cormag having a generous fill of food every meal of the day, his indulgence of Artur's cooking hadn't moved quite past an extra helping or two every go around. Although, even those generous extra helpings helped plump and widen his waistline to a body type rather past stocky and into fat guy territory.
Clothes upsized just as his body upsized, his maroon t-shirt does a sufficient job in covering Cormag’s sun kissed skin. His compact yet soft pile of squishy fat for a stomach curves outwards as it ever so gently slots itself on top of his doughy thighs. Pressed up against his shirt, the malleable tummy barely covers any of Cormag’s lap, enough space for Artur to be comfortably seated atop him still. The two fleshy legs seem even wider as he sits, the bunched up fat splaying a slightly extra amount from resting on the couch. Cormag’s pants do their best in perfectly covering the two, the waistband even widened as well to not uncomfortably squish against Cormag’s hips. The center of his gut juts out more than his squeezable love handles, Cormag’s rotundness more pronounced. The stuffed mass seems to taunt Artur, his eyes finding themselves often drifting back towards the perfectly rubbably surface. Cormag’s sizable chest makes itself comfortable on top of his stomach, the handful of breasts splaying a bit to the side from the accumulation of fat. His pronounced chest only helps make Cormag seem extra wide, Artur always feeling rather twiggish next to his plump teddy bear of a husband. Though the lightly tanned moobs are offered enough room from Cormag’s spacious shirt to not be so confined and pressed up against the fabric. Cormag’s biceps are no more, the somewhat, albeit nicely, defined biceps coated in a plush, warm layer of fat. The plump appendaged perfect for a nice, crushing yet comforting hug, Cormag’s arms had always been a secret favorite of Artur’s. Cormag rests his arms on the cushiony back pillows, the bottom heft of his arms squishing ever so slightly against the surface. His face at the very center of his arm span, Artur can only see the fleshy double chin connected to Cormag’s lovably wonderful kissable face. Though he can very much hear his love’s taxed breathing even over the angered grumbling coming from his gut.
“Oh, Artur,” Cormag’s arms wobble for a few moments; the two doughy appendages struggle as he tries to push himself up despite his body’s protests. “Give me, hah, a minute,” His rotund body expands with each great, deep breath he takes.
“No worries,” Artur sits himself beside Cormag. His lap calling to him, he’d feel like a monster causing him anymore discomfort. “I’ll wait beside you,” Artur pats Cormag’s thigh.
“Heh,” Cormag lets out a small chuckle, the only response he can give before he has to take a few more breaths to help relieve the heavy pit of pain resting in his gut. “I really ate like a pig,”
The faint warm onset of a blush on Artur’s face blossoms on his face, the healer always getting a tinge of embarrassment whenever Cormag even offhandedly mentions his size or eating habits. “Perhaps. But, I should learn to stop cooking so much. I just think of something nice for us to share and so I kinda just make it,” Artur tosses a noncommittal shrug at the end, a few awkward laughs thrown in as well as if he hadn’t confessed his unique admiration in the way Cormag’s body plumped out. A few extra pounds looking rather dashing on his tall figure which would only look more handsome if those few extra pounds swelled into a dozen or perhaps even a hundred before Cormag was resting at a sizable 300 pounder of a man.
“Maybe. Guess we both should learn some restraint,”
“Perhaps,,,” Artur nearly reaches for Cormag’s aching gut to soothe the beast before thinking better of it. “I have a salve that should help,” Without waiting for any confirmation, Artur goes to the closet full of his supplies. Herbs able to help cure maladies unlike staves, he rummages through the several jars and boxes he has. Though only Artur would consider his neat, organized setup a mess requiring rummaging, Lute always interested in his tidy organizational skill. Having fetched the ointment, he stands in front of the seated Cormag. “This has to go directly on your skin,” He tosses the lower hem of Cormag’s shirt up. Applying a dollop of the ointment on his hands, he wastes no time in getting them all over Cormag’s stomach.
“You’ve never needed an excuse to do this stuff before,” The salve immediately begins to work its magic on Cormag. His labored breathing slowly begins to take on a more natural pace and the evident discomfort on his face washes away. “You sure do know your way around there,” Cormag even shifts around on the couch, his stomach no longer threatening to self-destruct from the slightest jostle.
Artur drops his head in mirthful laughter, Cormag’s surprising silly teasing always getting to him. “I have rubbed your stomach how many times, Cormag?” His hands drift on over to Cormag’s love handles. Standing above Cormag, he grabs on to the chunky handles as he leans down for a kiss.
“Not enough, knowing you,” Cormag whispers as they part.
“Then you truly do know me,” Artur retorts. Cormag’s stomach is no longer a ticking time bomb, so he figures it’d be fine to sit in his favorite spot. He gently lowers himself down onto Cormag’s lap. His soft squishy, tummy rests comfortably against his back.
“If you had this kind of stuff laying around, why use it only now?”
“Well- I,,,” Artur considers his next words for a moment. “I felt bad with how much I stuffed you tonight. I may have gone overboard so-”
Cormag promptly cuts him off with a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t force me to do anything. You’re cooking is great. I tell all my clients about your cooking. They kept hounding me about your recipe for those cookies you always make to butter them up,”
“Ah,” Artur turns bright red as he recalls the high praises from all of Cormag’s clients, a few even inadvertently referring to Cormag’s weight upon said praises. “Well, I also didn’t use this because I didn’t want you to feel like I only cared about stuffing you and getting you fatter,”
“I’m gonna have to get up for this one,” Rising up, Cormag makes sure to help Artur up first. “Look at me,” He grabs Artur’s shoulders. Artur shorter by a few inches, he feels miniscule right now. “If I ever have any problems with my weight, you are going to be the first person I tell. We’ve known each other for years before I started gaining weight,” Cormag brings Artur to him, wrapping him in a bear hug. Artur’s arms are ensnared by Cormag’s own doughy arms. Though he knows his arms wouldn’t be able to wrap around him regardless. His feet rise off a few inches from the ground as Cormag holds on to him. Cormag begins to chuckle, his heart always aflutter with Artur in his arms. The ring of laughter catches onto Artur, the two laughing together. They remain like so for a few minutes, neither speaking.
Eventually, Cormag lets Arthur back down. A hefty sigh escapes his lips from the minimal amount of activity. “And if you ever have any problems with my weight, then let me know,” Cormag holds onto Artur’s hands, rubbing the palm of them with his thumb.
“Of course. But I don’t think I could ever have a problem having such a handsome husband.”
“Unfortunately for you, my husband is more handsome than yours,” Artur snorts from Cormag’s reply. His hands find their way to Cormag’s arm for a light slap.
“I guess you win then. But, thank you. Neither of us have done this, so I wanted to make sure we’re going at a natural pace for the both of us,”
“Taking it nice and slow is my preference. Enjoying the travel is just as important as the destination or however you say it,” An idea sparking in his brain, Cormag devilishly grins, his plump cheeks dimpling. “Let’s enjoy the scenic route some more,” Cormag leans slightly down. He gently whispers in Artur’s ears before resting his lips on his partner’s.
Artur grinning, he merely murmurs in hushed agreement as Cormag kisses him, the crackle of joy feeling just as natural as their first kiss, the two ready to indeed enjoy Cormag’s current size and take things naturally, wherever it might lead.
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willgrahymn · 4 years
Text
Two Love
I’m not gonna lie, this is probably some of the gayest shit I’ve ever written.
Summary: In the silence of the night, it feels like there's nothing but them. Loving oneself is not an easy task, and loving another takes work. If we can't love ourselves now though, we can at least love each other. Maybe then we will realize our own worth. Virgil and Roman know this well.
Word count: 2019
Tags: romantic prinxiety, (domestic) fluff, light angst, human au, living together, non-sexual intimacy, cuddling, communication, and marriage proposal ✨
As always, I’ll reblog with a link to this on ao3 :]!
-
“I wish you knew how lovable you are,” Virgil whispered into the silence.
Roman didn’t respond, biting his lower lip and not once opening his eyes. Virgil frowned, lightly tracing the tattoos on the other man’s chest, stopping to place his palm against the beating of his heart.
The room was quiet besides the sound of the heat coming through the vents and the occasional car passing by outside. Virgil sighed, laying his head against his love. He was warm, too, and he wished he never had to get out of bed again. It wasn’t like the way he wished during a depressive episode though. This was different; it was cozier, and more like home. He closed his eyes as he felt a hand begin to play with the hair at the base of his neck, and made a mental note to trim it later.
“I love you,” he mumbled, his lips ghosting against his boyfriend’s skin. He thought watching the rise and fall of his stomach, breathing in and out, was what made him want to say it.
“I know you do,” Roman responded, and Virgil could hear the tired smile in his voice, “I love you too. You’re perfect.”
“I’m anything but.”
“Then you’re perfect for me.”
Virgil decided he was happy to settle for that.
Roman continued to play with the dark strands before kissing the long magenta bangs that normally covered his boyfriend’s eyes. And he smiled because his hair smelled like the same raspberry-scented shampoo that he washed his hair with not long ago. If there was anything Roman believed he could do well, it was making his boyfriend feel cared for. He deserved it, and the way Virgil always leaned into his touch like a cat receiving ear scratches whenever he rubbed the shampoo into his scalp was something he simply couldn’t pass up when the opportunity arose.
He was beautiful now in Roman’s arms, and he would be beautiful when he woke up in the morning with his hair messed up going every which way. He would be beautiful when black makeup stained his face in tear tracks and he asked Roman if they could go home after a failed night out. There would not be a time when he was not beautiful, because he never gave Roman a reason to see him as anything less than that. He was a work of art. Frayed at the edges, sure, but he remained invaluable nonetheless.
Blinking slowly, Roman watched as his love shifted to meet his gaze. Dark eyes shining in the moonlight that seeped in through their window blinds. They were as gorgeous as the rest of him, he thought.
“What is it, my Night Light?”
“Oh, nothing,” he smirked, “I was just admiring.”
Roman rolled his eyes, a mix of fondness and instinctual doubt settling in his gut. “You see me every day, you’ll tire of me eventually.” He tried.
“We already went through the phase of being sick of each other when we first met, you’re not getting rid of me now.” Virgil teased, and before Roman could think of something else to say to distract from his statement, he started to speak again softer this time. “I meant what I said earlier, about how you’re so much more lovable than you know. I care about you.”
Virgil took a deep breath. He didn’t consider himself good at this sort of thing, but the weight of Roman’s fingers lacing between his own and pulling him closer was reassurance enough.
“I love you, Roman, and I… I just hope that one day, you’ll fall in love with yourself in the same way I did. You deserve to feel like you’re worth it.”
Roman stared at him, his mouth barely open as he replayed the words in his head. He knew Virgil, knew that he was always more on the pessimistic side, and didn’t try to get his hopes up about things to come. Still, he hoped for him. A hand rested against his cheek, thumb brushing lightly against his lips. Virgil smiled, and his heart felt full.
“Thank you,” he said. “I hope that one day you’ll wake up and face yourself in the mirror, and be able to value yourself as much as I do. It’s only fair.”
He took his partner’s hand, kissing his palm. Even in the darkness of their room, he could still see Virgil’s eyes go wide before hiding his face against his chest. It was cute, but he could tease him about that later. For now, though, he just felt lucky that he was allowed to see him like this. No walls up, and no fake dark persona to make sure others would leave him alone. He was just honest, authentic Virgil, and that was all that Roman wanted.
“I could spend a thousand lifetimes with you and it still wouldn’t be enough.” He admitted. “I would relive all the bad days where we didn’t get along, all the bad days where we doubted ourselves, as long as I knew it would bring me back here just like this with you.”
Virgil stared at him, curious and adoring. “You’re a madman.”
“Nothing compared to my brother,” Roman laughed, “but I guess you might be right. If I didn’t think straight before I certainly don’t now.”
Virgil rolled his eyes, a fond smile on his lips. He pulled himself up, face to face with the hopelessly romantic man he’d fallen in love with, dark eyes staring through thick lashes.
With some hesitance, Roman asked. “Have you ever thought about wanting to get married someday? It’s okay if not, I know right now might not be the perfect time to bring it up, but… it came to mind, I guess.”
He held his breath as Virgil considered. He didn’t want to be pushy. All he knew was that if asked, he would accept that commitment, and not dream of another. Because Virgil wasn’t like any of the partners he had known before. He was gentle and rough, sweet and sour, and Roman loved his contradictions. He loved to be loved in a way he could understand.
“Maybe not right now,” Virgil finally replied, “but I’d be happy with that. With you.”
Roman nodded, kissing him on the nose and appreciating the way Virgil’s eyes crinkled when he did.
“That’s okay,” he smiled, and it was the truth. “I just need you to know that if you’re ever ready for that, I’ll be here. I’d love to call you my husband if you’d let me. One of us can surprise the other with a proposal someday, but before that, I want us both to be ready.”
Virgil blinked, slow like a cat. Maybe these kinds of conversations were better left until morning.
“Thank you. I’d uh, I’d like that though, eventually.”
Smiling, Roman closed his eyes. He always dreamed of grand fairytale weddings and proposals, but this, this was good too. Fitting for them. It wasn’t Disney, but they made it work.
Pulling the blanket further over them, Virgil kissed his prince’s cheek only to be pulled into a proper one right after. Soft and slow, Virgil felt Roman’s lips quirk as his hand grazed the rose tattooed at his hip.
Then, he asked. “Of all the people you could choose to love, why me?”
“I think you’re the only one who really gets me,” Roman said, nuzzling into his lover’s shoulder and breathing in the faint scent of lavender. “You smell good.”
Virgil laughed silently, and Roman felt his body shake against him. He could feel that same butterfly-like sensation in his stomach from when he first started thinking of him as more than a friend.
“I think you’re the only person who can understand me though… not in an edgy teenager way, but like with my issues. People see me, but not in the way you do. You’re the one who drove halfway across town to drag my sorry ass out of bed after my ex dumped me and helped me realize it was a good thing. You helped me get out of my comfort zone and experiment with makeup too. I guess in a way, you make me better. And if you can love me with all the flaws that I have, then I can love yours too.”
“Oh,” he whispered, “I didn’t know that.”
“Well, you deserve to. You may be as dark and gloomy as a live-action Batman movie, but you still make my world a little brighter.”
“You’re a dork.”
Roman gasped, pulling back and holding his hand to his chest as if he had just touched a hot stove. “You’re so mean!”
Virgil shrugged, and Roman could practically hear the unspoken ‘it’s what I do best.’ It seemed that in all the years he had known him, he figured out how to decipher the mystery of a man hidden under all that black and purple emo attire.
It was 12:27 AM, at least that’s what the clock sitting on their bedside table told them. Virgil was used to being up late, insomnia and all, but since they started living together Roman insisted he come to bed at the same time every night. He appreciated it though. He liked getting ready for bed together and the weight of Roman falling asleep against him. He didn’t want to admit it, but it helped.
The room was nearly silent, the heat turned off long ago. The quiet sounds of rustling pillows and blankets were the only thing to be heard. Warm breaths lingered on Roman’s skin making his hair rise as soft lips met his jaw. He wondered if Virgil remembered watching him scrub violet lipstick off his face in the theater's dressing room while he giggled like a kid at a carnival. If he asked, Virgil would have told him there was a reason he preferred darker shades.
“Do you think we’ll have kids someday?”
“Don’t push it, Princey. You haven’t even decided if you want to adopt a cat or a dog yet.”
“Still! Could you imagine us as dads? We could have Disney movie nights. We already do that, I know, but we could do it with our kid. I’m perfectly fine with just being pet parents, but could you imagine?”
“I can, actually, and now I’m going to be worrying about our non-existent child and their not yet existing future until I fall asleep.”
Roman glared at him before rolling onto his side. All too familiar with the silly things he did, Virgil waited in anticipation and was pleasantly surprised when Roman finally lunged back over, attacking him with a kiss and laughing against his lips.
“You said not yet existing,” he grinned, “which implies that there will be one eventually.”
Virgil sighed, running his fingers through his partner’s hair. “You’re not getting me to agree to adopt a child in the middle of the night, Ro.”
Humming, Roman nodded an ‘okay’ and let the subject go for now. Virgil didn’t even think before he spoke again.
“I want a future with you, Roman, you know that.”
The softness in his eyes was one Virgil would do anything to protect, and he smiled as Roman snuggled into his chest. He loved him, and with the sound of his heart beating in his ears he was sure that he would do anything it took to keep him safe.
“Get some rest, Sleepy Beauty,” he whispered. “You deserve it.”
In the morning, they would both wake up with their legs intertwined, knowing that they could stay in bed all morning because neither had work that day. Roman would get up first, and Virgil would admire him as he stretched. When Virgil finally did pull himself out of bed and found his future-husband in the kitchen making french toast, he would slump against his back and leave a kiss between his shoulders.
And maybe life was never going to be easy, but that could be okay. Step by step, stroke by stroke, they’d make it through as each other’s sword and shield.
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uwuwriting · 4 years
Note
Hey love your blog. If you write about villains and pros could you maybe write the first I love you with Dabi, Hawks, Fatgum and Shigaraki ????🧡💛🧡💛🧡💛🧡
This is adorable!! Sure thing sweet anon, it’s time for some pure old fluff. Sadly I won’t write for our boy Shiggy here because I can’t see him ever saying those words and because I had no idea what to write about him. I’m so sorry. Love ya💖💖💖.
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Dabi
-Dabi is very secretive and believes that there is no such thing as true love.
-Due to his childhood and the form of ‘love’ he was subjected to, he strongly believes that love is just trouble and he should avoid it like the plague.
-But the plague eventually catches up to him and gives him you.
-He really wasn’t expecting to catch feelings so fast and fall so hard for another human being.
-A one night stand with a member of the LoV turned into multiple nights and before he knew it you guys were exclusive.
-To be honest he denied his feelings at first claiming that he didn’t care if you slept with someone else but he was proven incorrect the moment he saw you flirting with someone that wasn’t him.
-He swore that you had used a love quirk on him or something because he couldn’t control his jealousy.
-Being the stubborn bitch that he is, he gave you the cold shoulder for a whole week before you confronted him.
-And that’s how you became official/exclusive. 
-Now Dabi found himself in a rather difficult situation.
-The league was taking a mini break in order to reduce their chances of being caught and Shigaraki insisted that all the elite members stay at the bar.
-You and Dabi spent every second of the day together doing god knows what.
-Every time you laughed at his comments or gave him a soft kiss on the lips, face, neck, he melted.
-He had been feeling all fuzzy inside for some time now and it felt...weird.
-But the good kind of weird.
-He knew what it was, or he had an idea at least, but he really didn’t want to admit it.
-He believed love was for the weak, for those who deserved it.
-He didn’t deserve it.
-Trying to keep it to himself though was proving to be rather difficult and when you did something especially cute he couldn’t help but want to tell you just how much he loved you.
-The bastard waited for the right opportunity though.
-The only time that you wouldn’t be able to actually know he said it.
-You were sleeping on his chest, your hand over his heart while your head was tucked under his chin.
-He looked at your form and he swore he fell in love with you all over again.
- “I love you.”
-It was merely a whisper.
-You stirred slightly in your sleep, bringing a leg over his waist and tucking your other arm under him, caging him in your embrace. 
-Circling your form with his own arms, he decided that true love might not be that bad after all.
Hawks/ Keigo Takami
-This bird man is a tease.
-From the start of your relationship he would joke about you loving him when he did something stupid.
-You would only roll your eyes and return to what you were doing.
-He didn’t mind your reaction, it was normal to respond like that since you two had barely started dating.
-However things changed as your relationship grew and soon he said those words putting more and more of the truth in them.
-He may be confident for the cameras and the public but in reality Keigo is really self conscious.
-He knows that his demons haunt him, he knows that he’s difficult to manage and he knows that he’s difficult to love.
-He doesn’t ask for more, on the contrary he hopes that maybe you will say it first and he’ll roll with it.
-He isn’t ready for the rejection and he surely doesn’t trust himself enough to say those words to you.
-One particular mission left him with severe injuries resulting in him being transferred to the hospital were he stayed for some days.
-You were there the moment you were told what happened and were getting ready to scold him but seeing him in a hospital bed all bandaged up and in pain, broke your heart.
-This man had managed to capture your heart in a matter of months.
-You were so in love with him that on your haste to leave for the hospital you don’t remember if you locked the door.
-And to be honest you didn’t care.
-All you cared about was laying on that hospital bed across from you.
- “Hey dovie.”
-And with that you began ranting and asking him all kinds of questions, until he dropped that one phrase.
- “But you love me.”
-He always said things like that when you were giving him a lecture and you always ignored him, avoiding the question because you were scared of the answer.
-But this time it was different.
-He almost died.
-You might not have another chance to tell him.
- “You know I do, you dumb bird! That’s why I’m here.”
-Oh sweet heavens it finally happened.
-He has been waiting for so long that he couldn’t even make a snarky comment.
- “I love you too.”
Fatgum/ Taishiro Toyomitsu
-Fatgum is one of the sweetest people out there.
-He is a literal teddy bear.
-He even acts like one.
-A moving affection machine.
-How can you NOT love him?
-Even though he’s one of the most lovable heroes, Taishiro has his doubts.
-People often critise him about using his fat form all the time.
-Why doesn’t he go out in public sporting his ripped form more often.
-People are also stupid but Tai doesn’t see that.
-He believes that he may be sweet, but his occupation and the little time he’s got may scare most potential partners off.
-He knows deep down that you are not like that, you have stuck by his side through thick and thin.
-He has seen for himself that you aren’t a superficial person and you’ll stick by him through anything.
-So why is he hesitating? 
-You two are out on your usual Friday night dinner date and you’re going on about something that happened at work.
-You look so beautiful and the moment, so carefree.
-He can’t help but think how dependent he has become of your presence and how he cant really imagine his life without you.
-He was chest deep in love with you and he was ready to admit it.
-How bad could this be.
-He waited until you had finished eating and were just enjoying the view of the city below when he grabbed your hand bringing it to his lips.
-He saw how your eyes softened at his action and he was sure that you could see the heart eyes he most definitely had at the moment.
-Finally, after a small pause, he spoke.
- “I love you with all my heart.”
-You looked like you had been struck by lightning.
-The fact that you weren’t responding made him regret his decision, but when you smiled at him again he got lost in your gaze.
- “I love you too, you big dummy.”
-You truly did, with all your being.
-And you loved every form of his, fat or slim.
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hadesisqueer · 4 years
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I'm bored and I don't care and you most probably don't care too but I don't care about that either, so here it comes: my Blake analysis.
People tend to think Yang is my favorite character. And, although they're not entirely wrong, because she's the character I relate the most to, my actual favorite character is Blake. I just find her so inspiring, and such an interesting character yet flawed character. CRWBY did a great job showing her traits as both the Beauty and the Beast, and I just love it.
Leaving the White Fang and Beacon times
Honestly, one of the things I admire the most about Blake is just how freaking brave she is. Because it takes an incredible amount of courage to be able to realize about your mistakes and seek a way to redeem yourself by learning to help people. And it takes a lot of strength to be able to leave your abuser behind.
Blake leaves the White Fang and gets into Beacon hoping for two things: redemption and a new life. She starts off as the typical quiet, kind of cynical (yet still idealistic), emo and mysterious girl who we knew basically nothing about her. We had basic information about the other three, but nothing from her except that she wore a bow and liked books.
I really liked how she seemed to not want to get close to anyone, but then the interactions with Ruby and Yang came. She, although kind of annoyed because they wouldn't let her read (mood), seemed amused by them, and even awkwardly tried to tell them that it was a pleasure to meet them as they fought and before Weiss came and she gave up reading (mood).
Which is one of the reasons I think she chose Yang as her partner. She was probably looking for a partner who she knew she could work well with. And having being partners with Adam, who was just as much of an offensive fighter as Yang, she knew she could work with that. That and the fact that she also seemed to like her and Ruby the night before, so Blake probably recognised her and followed her around to check if Yang could fight too (also because she was hot okay this is just me shipping). And when she saw she could, she was probably like “Okay, I'm keeping this one”. Which is fun, because Blake was the quiet girl and then she went and chose the most extrovert partner (besides Nora) there was. And actually liked having her around, as anyone could see when she smiled when Yang said something.
And that's the thing: she didn't want to get really close to anyone, but she was really eager to start a new life. Even though she wasn't really sure about Weiss, she had good teammates and genuinely liked them. She joined Ruby and Yang in their idiocy (love those two) from the start and showed to be as much as a dork as them if she wanted. She was relaxed with them and liked team JNPR too (we never really saw her having conversations with them alone but if she sat with Pyrrha in class it meant she was cool with them too) and, if you read the books, she was really good friends with team CFVY as well.
Still, she was afraid to open up about her past, or even tell them about being a faunus to the point that when she slipped and told them when she was mad at Weiss being an ignorant, she ran away. Because after all, she doesn't think they would like her true self. I mean, we're talking about a girl who ran away from the White Fang because she realized it had turned into basically a terrorist organisation -one she took part of, and left her family behind for. A girl who's suffered from abuse, making her feel like she doesn't deserve anything good. It's crystal clear in the comics (though they're vol 4 content), Blake thinks she is poison and ruins everything good around her. And she felt like she'd just ruined it again. Which is why when she sees that they don't care, and that Weiss has decided she doesn't care either (and to me, that's the beginning of her arc of being an ignorant and daddy's girl to “when I see a racist a floor him and fucky you, dad), Blake almost cries.
Then in vol 2 she is literally obsessed with Torchwick and the White Fang. It's understandable: she used to be part of that organisation (goddammit, her own father created it) and she's had to see how it went from believing in peace and equality to becoming more violent to start working with human crime lords in a way that doesn't seem to benefit the faunus at all? She knew there was something big going on, and even if she had to fight her own past, she was willing to if that's what it took to find out what it was. It's funny because I felt like she was the main protagonist in that volume instead of Ruby and it's true: she was the one calling the shots.
The thing is that she took it too far and led her to basically become obsessed with the White Fang, as I said. To the point that Yang had to almost literally slap some sense into her and tell her to chill and go to sleep. And well, it worked. She took Yang's advice and didn't forget her goals, but took her time instead of destroying herself in the process.
In vol 3, she seems more relaxed than we'd ever seen. She doesn't have to hide who she is to the people she cares about, because she's slowly opening up more and they are understanding. They succesfully stopped a Grimm attack in Vale and got Torchwick in jail, so she felt more confident and hopeful. And they were killing it at the Vytal Festival. So yeah, she deserved to chill a little, enjoy herself, to be a little goofy and eat some tuna with her friends. The girl had earned it.
... but it's volume 3, and if it fucked everyone up, it wasn't going to be any different with Blake. Like, for fuck's sake, give the poor girl a break.
It starts with Yang breaking Mercury's leg and Blake not knowing what to think. Because as she said, the whole situation was so familiar. She'd had a passionate and aggressive yet “kind” partner before, one she thought she loved and trusted, and he slowly became more and more violent, and more abusive, and for a long time, she was blind to it. And then Yang does that. Her passionate and kind of aggressive yet sweet new partner, who she may already had romantic feelings for (even if she hadn't realized yet), who even had the same semblance as Adam. Was it all happening again?
Yang and Adam are, after all, foils of each other in a way. They're really similar. The main difference is how they deal with their suffering: Adam used it as an excuse for hurting others and never really got over it, and Yang took meaning from it instead and found the way to move on. Her heart was never driven by hate; she used her pain to become a better, stronger person. After all, just as Blake said, Adam was Spite, and Yang was Strength.
Blake's reaction was understandable. She was a victim of abuse and the situation reminded her of it. And as I said, it didn't help that Adam and Yang were so similar. But deep down, she knew that Yang wasn't Adam, that there was an explanation, which is why she gave Yang that chance to tell her. And she knew Yang wasn't lying.
And then everything gets REALLY fucked up for everyone. The situation couldn't be worse. Penny has died, Ruby is at Amity Arena, Yang is still at the dorms. Blake and Weiss are fighting together at Beacon against the White Fang and Grimm- and also the robots. And getting separated was honestly the worst thing they could have done, but Blake went after that Beowolf. And then she found Adam.
I don't think I have to even explain how I think she felt at that moment, when she saw her abuser right there in front of her eyes, for the first time since she left him. I think the look in her eyes are enough to express how terrified and conflicted she was. And yet, she is brave enough to fight him. And she loses. And then the guy uses “summon love interest” card and Yang appears, and he sees right through Blake. And the thing she feared the most happens. She's ruined it. She's really ruined it.
Vol 4 & 5 or the Belladonnas, Sun and Ilia.
Volume 4 is, without any doubt, Blake's lowest point, and again, thank God for having her parents and Sun around, because the girl was almost suicidal (most of all, when you read the comics). As I said, she feels like she's poison who ruins everything good around her, and this once, the universe has proved her right. Yang, her lovable partner who had been nothing but sweet, funny and understanding since she'd met her, had lost an arm trying to save her. And she knew that Adam wasn't kidding when he said that he'd kill her. So she left because she'd rather have Yang, Ruby and Weiss hating her than risking their lives. And because she couldn't stand the guilt she felt. The poor girl hated herself for what happened.
It took her while to decide to go back to Menagerie, but she did, and I was honestly thrilled to find out about her family. Like, we knew about Ruby and Yang being sisters and later we also find out more about their family life. We knew about Weiss being the heiress of the SDC, that she came from an important family, and later we know that she has siblings and it's implied that her father is a dickhead. But we didn't know anything about Blake's family life. We didn't know if she had any family at all or if she was an orphan, or if she had been abandoned, or if she was poor or rich. I think a lot of people had those headcannons before vol 4. But nope. Those ideas were obliterated.
Her father had created the White Fang, which explained why Blake always took the whole matter so personal: it was her legacy, and it had been taken from her and became corrupted. Not only wasn't she poor: she was some sort of fucking princess and owned a mansion. And not only wasn't she an orphan or an abandoned kid: out of team RWBY, she was the only one with two functional, loving parents. She clearly felt guilty about leaving them as well but both of her parents forgave her without any doubts, and showed her unconditional love. Kali and Ghira were two understanding and forgiving people who loved their daughter more than anything, and really, it was such a relief.
And I have my issues with the whole Sun thing, most of all after reading Before the Dawn. He followed her without permission, didn't respect her boundaries and she got too aggressive with him sometimes because of that (first slap I get it, the other two no). And I don't think he was completely necessary for the whole Battle of Haven thing. But at the same time, I really think having him around actually helped Blake a lot. Because yes, he didn't understand her many times, but I do think that having him around helped her as much as her parents. He had a big crush on her, and Blake did like him back, but never at the same level. After the time-skip, he still liked her but her crush on him had faded. And he took his time, but he realized. Blake didn't need a boyfriend, she needed a partner, a good friend who opened her eyes and made her understand that not everything that happens is her fault. That pushing people away with the excuse of protecting them wasn't helping anyone: she was just hurting herself and others more. And that's what he became. And I love the fact that he never for a second thought that she owed him anything: he helped her because he wanted, not because he expected anything from Blake. He would literally be disgusted with people who think she did owe him. Sun has his issues but he is an amazing friend and a perfect example of a guy without one bit of toxic masculinity, and his friendship with Blake is just great (can't wait to see more of them. Brotp).
Blake got love, forgiveness, support and friendship from her parents and Sun, but honestly, I think that what finally pushed her to stop running away and put an end to this whole bullshit was Ilia's appearance. Her former best friend up until she left the White Fang (who was, by the way, the person who indirectly gave her the idea of using a bow to pass for human).
She had already seen someone she cared about lose his way and turn into a monster. Blake herself had lost her way for a good while, found it back and then lost it again, and was working to find it once more. Seeing Ilia in that situation too made her brain go like “Okay, there's no way I'm letting you end up like Adam”. Blake knew Ilia wasn't like Adam, she knew it wasn't too late for Ilia yet, just like it hadn't been too late for Blake herself. So she gave Ilia the same things her parents and Sun had given her, the same things team RWBY gave her once too: love, forgiveness and friendship. And by helping Ilia, Blake also helped herself. I've done this before in another post, but I'll do it again; as uncle Iroh said once: sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else.
(I'm not going to get too deep about the White Fang; most of all, because I'd need an entire post just about it. I'll just say that even though I thought I liked most of it, I still have a lot of issues with the White Fang thing and I found the end to be a bit disappointing and rushed).
Back with team RWBY, rebuilding relationships and Adam's end.
I'll never stop thinking that the fact that she didn't know what the fuck was going on at Haven but still joined the fight was hilarious, but still, it really made sense. She's done running away from her fears and her past, and one of her fears was that: confronting her team (mostly, Yang, because of the whole Adam thing) after leaving them. And then they all appear right in front of her eyes.
Past Blake would run away again to avoid the consequences. But she'd grown from that. Instead, she dealt with her own problems with Adam and the White Fang, and as soon as she was done, she went right back into the building and start fighting by Weiss and Ruby's side. And after the fight, while she was talking to her family and Ilia, Sun gave her the final push: he encouraged her to go and actually talk to the team, and she did. She went and told them that if they gave her a second chance, she wouldn't leave them again. Because she knows that leaving them had been one of the biggest mistakes of her life, if not the biggest one. She didn't know if they'd forgive her (a part of her probably still thought they wouldn't, and that she probably didn't deserve it anyway) but she still tried. And Ruby and Weiss accept her without questions. And honestly, the face Blake makes when she sees that Yang is also accepting her back and then they all invite her to the group hug still gets me every time.
She was obviously really happy that they'd forgiven her and that they gave her another chance that it's clear she was really trying to make the most of it. She clearly wanted to make up for lost time, and really make up for leaving, showing Ruby a bunch of times that she was always ready to follow her lead, reassuring Weiss after finding the bodies and... the whole thing with Yang. Because she felt guilty. But don't think Blake was feeling guilty because of the arm thing; at least, not anymore. She had reached a point where she understood that Adam's actions weren't her fault. No, she felt guilty because she left.
Yang had told her about Raven, and Blake knew that the poor girl had some serious abandonment issues (actually, Blake and Raven are kind of similar as well but with many differences, like the fact that they both tend to run away when they're scared, but for different reasons; one leaves by putting people in harm's way to protect herself, and the other because she wants to protect people in the wrong way. Eventually both get called out on that behaviour, and one responds with running away again, and the other with learning to not to run and face her fears. Both are foils of each other in Yang's eyes just like Yang and Adam in Blake's. Okay I'll continue). And Blake knew that when she left Yang, she most likely made said issues worse. Which is why she was trying so hard to make sure that Yang knew she wasn't leaving her again. She even actually tells her over and over again. “I'm not leaving”, “I'll hurry back”, “I'm not gonna break my promise, I swear”. Even during the Bees vs Adam fight, she says “I have people who actually care about me and I promised I'd never leave them again, so I'm not dying now”. That states two things:
1) She wants to fucking live, of course.
2) Blake is telling Yang that she is not going to die, not only because, as I said, she is a normal person who wants to live. But because she knows that, even if she would totally do it given the case, Yang doesn't want her to sacrifice herself for her, because then, she'd be leaving her again. She is telling Yang that she's not going to do that, and that they'd leave that place together.
But the thing is, Blake was trying SO hard to be there for her that she made things awkward, making Yang think Blake believed she was fragile and needed protection, which wasn't the case (I already talked about all this and Yang hating people taking care of her she thinks it makes her weak in the Yang analysis). And which is why Blake corrected herself and said “protecting each other”, as equals.
(Before people complain about how I'm talking too much about Yang in here, let's be clear: you can't make an Yang analysis without talking about Blake. Just like you can't make a Jaune analysis without talking about Pyrrha. You can't make a Salem analysis without talking a lot about Ozma. Or a Weiss one and not mention her entire family. Because that's what happens when you write a complex character with varied relationships with different characters - the relationships shape the character into what they are-. And Blake and Yang's arcs is so intertwined with the others' since the Fall of Beacon that you can't make an analysis of one without talking a lot about the other. Thus, I'm analyzing their relationship too, just like I'm talking about Sun, Adam and more. And yes, I'm doing this from the romantic perspective. Because, in case you hadn't noticed, the relationship stopped being platonic since Heroes and Monsters, and has been showing to be more and more romantic as the show goes on. It's been even confirmed to be romantic. So please, anon, I'm talking to you: if you don't like it stop reading lmao).
Now for the Adam part. Man, I can't even talk about this.
People complain that it didn't make sense that Blake seemed full of confidence at Haven when facing him, and then at Argus, she was terrified. Well, let me clear one thing up: the situation was totally different, dude.
At Haven, she was surrounded by people she knew they would help her: Sun, her parents, damn, even team RWBY. She had a whole army supporting her (and even with Sun's help, she wasn't dumb and she knew better than trying to follow him, because she knew him and knew that that's what he wanted). So of course she was going to feel safer then than being totally alone with that guy who had been stalking her across the world like a total creep. Like, thank God Yang appeared and helped her.
Once again, these three are all together again since the Fall of Beacon. This guy, who maimed and traumatized Yang in a way she will most likely never completely get over (as a person with PTSD, I know it gets better, but it will never entirely go away). Blake's ex boyfriend. A person she trusted and loved, and turned out to be completely different than he made her believe.
Blake's done with running away from him. And she's done with being afraid, because she is. But even though she's afraid, I love how during the entire fight, he tried to get in her head but Blake didn't let him. Because she was done with that. He had abused her, tried to kill her and the people she loved, took her innocence and confidence, even stole her own legacy. And she's not letting him do that again. Not now, and nevermore.
Sorry, I had to.
Blake and Yang give him multiple opportunities to leave. He didn't. We know how that ended for him. And even after that, Blake feels terrible about having to take his life, and feels guilty about it, or felt like she'd ruined the whole “let's steal an airship” plan. But luckily, she had all of her friends reassuring her and being completely understanding and loving, and honestly, I'll say it a million times: that scene between Ruby, Blake and Yang is one of my favorites.
Volume 7
We don't see much Blake during volume 7, to be honest. Yes, we get that great moment with Weiss and Jacques (fuck you). We get to see how she really hasn't forgotten about the whole Adam thing, and how killing him was haunting her in a way. We got to see her and Yang being the ones who reached out for Robyn (people with brains who don't try to take her out and try to make her and the HH allies instead. THANK YOU). We got to see her and Yang kicking some ass in the RWBY vs Ace Ops fight. And of course, we get confirmation (we already knew, but some people are blind and needed more. Some people won't understand until they kiss) of Bumbleby going the romantic way. And I liked that.
But neither Blake nor Yang had much of an individual arc or important stuff to do last volume (and I really hope that changes in volume 8). That annoyed me. But at the same time, I remember that they hadn't had a break since vol 3; Blake had never had one, actually, because every volume found the way to emotionally fuck her up in some way. And after losing limbs, being stabbed, having to deal with terrorists, with bandits, with terrible moms, with abandonment issues, with PTSD and depression, with an abusive exboyfriend they even had to end up killing to survive... I was kind of fine with both of them getting an “easy” volume where they didn't have to deal with big emotional arcs like that, and were just chilling and enjoying themselves for a little while. Still, I want them to be more important, both as a couple and individually, next volume.
Conclussion
As I said, Blake is my favorite character. She is a very flawed person who learns about her flaws and works hard to be better. She is incredibly brave, by far, the bravest character in the series, who overcomes her fears and her abuse and moves forward. Blake's arc, besides taking back her legacy and fighting for equality, is about her finally understanding that she's not to blame for others' actions, that she isn't poison. She learns to finally stop running from her fears and her guilt, to stop pushing others away, and realize that she deserves a second chance, that deserves forgiveness and love and friendship, and to be happy. Blake's entire personal journey is about her finding her path, about overcoming her abuse and trauma, and about learning to love herself. And I love it. I love her.
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tangledinmdzs · 4 years
Text
you’re gonna wanna be mine, jiang siblings hcs
continuing the best friend head cannons but with our lovely jiangs (honestly who wouldn’t want to be their best friend?)
`*:;,.★ ⌒ ☆・:.,;*
Wei Wuxian
you meet this infamous person in college 
he’d been the loud, flirtatious but morally just person at your first college party
he actually saved your butt when someone was trying to invade your personal space at said party
and well, you’ve felt indebted to him ever since
but Wei Wuxian would become more than someone that you were just paying debts back and forth with 
because he’s a bit older than you, his guidance in whatever classes that you take (that he may have already taken) is really helpful
and he’s actually really smart
when he’s not messing around with people here and there
or drinking a bit too much
and because you end up actually having classes near the same buildings/areas you see him a lot
walking around campus with Wei Wuxian made you feel less alone in a place that you would have otherwise been
his free spirited personality helps you to break out of the timid that you had tried to hard to get rid of in college
but your rationale and patience helps to draw him back from the ‘extremes’ that he usually would feel, whether that be happy or sad
once you become better friends, you even become his ‘wingman’
“is this too much? too many emojis?” Wei Wuxian asks for the fifth time as he’s sprawled out on your bed
you huff an annoyed huff at him
“it’s perfectly fine, you’re just asking Lan Wangji how his day is,” you answer, typing away on your report
“but what if it’s too many colors? it’s a bit dreary today, isn’t it? should i make it more pastel tones, he seems to like that-”
you cut his sentence short by snatching his phone from where he’s holding it and pressing send on the message yourself
Wei Wuxian yells at you, a distressed war cry as the iphone message leaves his drafts with a soft zuup
“y/n! you’ve ruined my life!!” Wei Wuxian wails, thrashing around in agony on your bed
you roll your eyes at him
you’re pretty sure you haven’t
you’re 95% sure you haven’t.
`*:;,.★ ⌒ ☆・:.,;*
Jiang Cheng
being friend with Jiang Cheng was actually, quite a situational thing 
you were study partners for your health class in sophomore year.
after you learn that he’s not as unapproachable as his natural frown-y face is, you become pretty good friends
you learn that he’s 
really smart
passionate about things 
has a knack for martial arts
a bit bossy (haha)
but is sensitive, and emotional at heart
and you also come to realize that for all of Jiang Cheng’s side eyes and scowls he’s actually quite the shy guy
“are you trying to telepathically communicate with her?” you tease as you come up behind Jiang Cheng’s still form by the lockers.
said friend jumps at your words and turns around quickly just to slam his back into the lockers
you’re closer than he’d expected.
“n-no. what are you talking about?” Jiang Cheng denies, because of course he would.
you shake your head and laugh at him, opening your locker to grab your books in the transition to next class
“she’s way out of your league,” you comment, glancing over to Wen Qing and where she’s stood talking to a few other students
Jiang Cheng huffs at you, but you know it’s his signature pouty sigh
you laugh at him again and then lean around him and his backpack to gauge the distance
you close your locker
“you’re gonna thank me for this later,” you say, matter-of-factly and then do your duty as his friend
you push him
Jiang Cheng splutters a curse as he stumbles right into Wen Qing’s path, and very nearly would have crashed into her if it weren’t for her hands coming up to steady him
Jiang Cheng spins around to mouth a curse at you, but you just shoot a thumbs up
yet when he turns back around to Wen Qing with an apology on his lips, he’s surprised at the slight smile on her usually serious face
it throws him for a bit of a loop
and wow, she’s so pretty when she smiles, Jiang Cheng finds himself thinking
and then, yea, he’s going to thank you later for this. 
`*:;,.★ ⌒ ☆・:.,;*
Jiang Yanli
you meet Jiang Yanli for the first time at your town’s annual street festivals
and she’s one of those really pretty, really kind girls that are intimidating because they’re abnormally perfect
and you being the clumsy, shy person you were had a hard time bridging that
but, you found a friend (a protector even) in Jiang Yanli when she shooed away a customer that was hustling your street shop too much
and seeing you manning the business alone, she even decided to help out
it’s not hard for you both to get along
and ayo, you basically got yourself a new sister
after that, she adopts you as one of her own and adores you a lot
not just because you’re really lovable
but like you also have a braincell
because obviously her two brothers don’t
hehehehehehe
any ways
because you’re Jiang Yanli’s best friend, you obviously become the plus one in every Jiang family function
and her brothers take a liking to you quickly
because their sister usually had a great taste in friends
“but not boyfriends,” Wei Ying spills to you one day when you come over to their house and catch him in the living room
you’re a bit confused and a lot worried as you come up to Yanli’s bedroom door, closed for the first time since you’ve known her
that day becomes the first day that you see her cry 
and as her friend, it absolutely rips your insides apart
especially when you realize that she had shed so many tears over a boy (๑・`▱´・๑)
absolutely no one was worth her tears
“he’s not worth your tears, jie” you comfort even though she’s a little older than you
Yanli huffs helplessly, balling up her tissues in her hands as she sniffs
you sigh at her, taking a clean tissue and dabbing her eyes gently
“no one should make you cry this much, especially if they loved you. you deserve better” you repeat, and hold her hands in yours once her hiccups have calmed
Yanli meets your eyes fully then, letting out a long breath
but after, she smiles once again
and shining clear or teary-eyed, you’ll take any smile on her face
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