#{ || At some point I s h o u l d start feeling bad about these jokes

[hijackalx]

ASTARION NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

hes such a dick if ur a one night stand LMAO understandably tho. understandably..... but yeah if hes not really feeling u he just kind of dips out after coming up with some wack ass rehearsed excuse to protect ur feelings. totally different story if he loves u though. i feel like he gets sooo lovey-dovey post nut OMG like soo much praise and so many kisses. post nut clarity with his S/O consists of him enjoying the many wonders of the world 😭😭  that shit will have him watching the sunset

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

i think he likes his hands. i mean its one of the things he can see so like. but they are really nice. long and nimble fingers and smooth palms. his hands look like poetry lowkey. anyway if ur AFAB he loves titties. any titty. loves to mark them up and watch them bounce while u ride him. if ur AMAB its ur shoulder/collarbone area especially if its dainty and delicate looking but regardless he wants to bite around there. youll see him looking at them a lot

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he wants to come on ur face or inside u. his two go-tos. if hes about to nut he'll ask u really quick which u want and u have like 3 seconds to answer LMAO. takes a while to get to that point tho so u have some time to think about it beforehand 😭😭

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he got hard asf the first time u let him drink from u LMAOO he walked away and jerked off IMMEDIATELY

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

hundreds of years of experience is enough for me yeah

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

oooooooooooo gurl. ugh hold on theres so many it could be. ok so theres two. 1. he likes to sit u in his lap (the back of ur head on his shoulder or maybe even sitting sideways with ur legs off the side ??? idk however yall want) and finger/jerk u off. it makes him feel sooo in control 🤤 and 2. he lovesss eye contact so any positions where he can stare into ur soul 👁️👁️ yall why am i only seeing missionary rn...... or planking i guess lol

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i think hes pretty serious. he might even get pissed off if u start acting too goofy lol like hes playful but not going to start cracking jokes 😹😹

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

this pains me to say...... but i dont think elves get body hair if any (like canonically)....... but i think its weird to be completely bald so im going to say hes got a little bit of pubic hair, armpit hair, and of course leg/arm hair. its just not very long or thick. he basically never has to trim or anything

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

my boy is a romantic at heart yall. will kiss u a lot and hold u very close. i think its rlly important for him to have some sort of emotional connection thru sex.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

honestly dont feel like he ever does normally LMAO when u reject him or push him away during the first romance scene and he says he'll go beat off i think hes just saying that to make u feel bad 😹😭  when u let him drink from u it was probably the first time he jerked off in a longggg time. i can see him thinking hes above doing something like that lol so its an ego thing

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

ok did u guys see the little church looking building at the first campsite in act 3??? i think if yall were to smash there he'd never forget it. like something about that turns him on so much. probably bent u over the altar. even after u guys are long gone he still thinks abt it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

suck on his fingers omg. but also really likes to use sex to put u in ur place so if u guys argue or just dont get along at some point he will use that as a build up to sex. so he will purposely push ur buttons A LOT. cuz its like, how dare u raise ur voice at him ?? 😤

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

if u dont go along with what he wants to do he kind of gets pissy after a while. he only ever really wants to be in control and thats it. also wont do anything extreme or ridiculous either 😭😭 anything that makes him feel humiliated is a big no

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

for AFAB like ive said before he is the self-proclaimed coochie eating champion of faerun. sooooo good at it its not funny. will also kiss it and leave more kisses/bites on ur thighs. makes u feel like ur coochie is the most divine coochie in the world LMAO omg also will want to eat u out every time ur on ur period......... i think thats like one thing he will absolutely beg for OOP

if ur AMAB its basically the same just with a dick lol

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he can do both. probably likes to be a little rougher than most people though

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

yeah if hes in the mood i can see him scouting the area for a place to smash LMAO which probably happens pretty often. doesnt mind giving up the romantic aspect as long as yall still fuck for real every once in a while.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i think he would need to be convinced. willing to hear u out at least

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

TOO LONG. HE LASTS WAY TOO LONG. i mean after u been suckin and fuckin for that many years how do u not take forever to nut 😭😭  u will get urs tho dont worry. also perfect situation for u to have multiple orgasms so dont get discouraged besties 🤘🏻

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

allllll the timeeeee. he wants u to need him more than anything else before he fucks u. u need to need this man like u need oxygen. like a fish needs water. like a plant needs the sun. like a

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

grunts and groans but when he gets closer to finishing he'll start moaning. he doesnt make an effort to stay quiet but also wont do anything embarrassing 😹

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

emmmmm i wanna say he can go a pretty long time without sex. but if he has a partner he is sexually attracted to his libido can be pretty high. but lets remember he is getting into his erectile dysfunction years ☝🏻 JOKINGGGG LMAO

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

well he meditates technically. but he gets into that lil meditation pose fast as fuck boy 🧘 do not interrupt him either he'll be grumpy 😭

[uponawhitehorse13]

Ciel SFW alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Can be affectionate but not in public. The only thing she can do while people are watching is hold your hand. But when you’re alone it’s a different story.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

She’d just be there. She always was. What do you mean you don’t remember when you met?

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

She only really gets cuddly when she’s tired. Otherwise she prefers different kinds of affection.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

She’s used to living alone so she’d be competent at cooking and other housework. You do need to remind her to eat something other than curry sometimes.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

She is sending you to god.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

You’d think the christian girl would be all about marriage but she really hasn’t thought that much about it. The thought of something like that actually intimidates her a bit.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Very much gentle. Hates to see you exert yourself. Sometimes you need to tell her to tone it down since you aren’t made of glass.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Most often her hugs come when you two are parting ways for the day. Her hugs are short but tight, almost like she’s afraid you aren’t real.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

She doesn’t say it too often because she finds it too embarrassing.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Immediately hits you with the death glare and starts questioning what you were doing.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Her kisses are most often short and chaste. Anything more and you might end up doing more than just kissing.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

She’d probably be pretty good around children. She can indulge them but she knows when to get strict.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

She always gets up before you. Sometimes she starts getting ready before you and makes you breakfast or she just decides to enjoy watching you sleep.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

She always waits for you to fall asleep first. Then she leaves to do her “work” but not before giving you a kiss on the forehead.

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say  everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Unless it got to a point she could no longer lie about it she really wouldn’t tell you about her past. She feels bad for it but thinks it’s for the best.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She doesn’t like to see you put yourself in danger or talking to other women too much. Other than that she’s pretty easy-going.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little  detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

She remembers all your anniversaries but often waits to see if you remembered them.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Your first date. Her finally having something she thought she could never have made her incredibly happy.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Oh you can bet your ass she’d kill for you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She tries very hard. It’s her way of repaying you for loving her.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She has a habit of trying to turn down gifts and favours because she feels she doesn't deserve them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She doesn’t mind being plain so she’d rarely go out of her way to look good. When she does want to look good however she will really put in a ton of effort.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

She doesn’t realize it but being without you would hurt her really bad.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Ciel listens to Nine Inch Nails. I refuse to believe otherwise. I could make a whole separate post about this but I won’t. There are so many lyrics she could relate to past events in her life and listening to it would make her feel at least somewhat understood. Also she has a shirt she wears when she’s alone.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Vampirism.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

No matter how you fall asleep you will wake up as the little spoon. You don’t know how it happens but it does. Without exception.

Author's note: I've been playing Tsukihime again recently and after finishing the near routes decided to write a little something. I'll probably open requests for it when I finish the far routes. (also shout-out to @cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme for proofreading.)

[c-t-r-l14]

A RETROSPECTIVE, A REFLECTION, AND YES, ANOTHER DAMN ALEX RANT.

What I find the most amusing is the fact that Saku likes my rants about Alex.

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if ya’ll know me as, “That One Girl Who Despises Alex”, because I write about how mad he makes me, and have MULTIPLE RANTS about how much I dislike him and his gaslighting, excuse-making, manipulative, no-backbone having, crybaby bitch ass.

Like—I be jumping Alex, reading his ass for filth, and be downright destroying him and Saku reads it and is like “Lmao, good stuff”, and LIKES THE DAMN RANTS.

It’s really crazy because at first, I was really scared about posting my first ever rant about him, because before people saw just how immature Alex was being in the breakup audio, a lot of people were jumping listener in the comments and talking about how it was their fault that this happened in the first place. Now, listener is definitely NOT a saint, at all. Even though I sympathize with them, what they did was wrong—point BLANK. But the way their relationship ended wasn’t entirely their fault.

I remember reading the comments and there were some people who said, “Ugh, if listener just didn’t say anything at all, this would’ve never happened”, but that shit confuses me so much?? I do agree that they should’ve been more careful about their approach when it comes to confrontation, but if THIS is the way Alex reacts when Listener looses their cool and does something in the heat of the moment, who is to say that it wouldn’t happen at all? He was so damn quick to end a four year relationship over a mistake. He never put in any work to see why listener acted out that day. He never once tried to talk to them, he acknowledged the fact that they don’t usually act like this, made up stupidly flimsy excuses on why the relationship would supposedly would not work, said some out of pocket shit about them not being the right partner for a long distance relationship, AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GASLIGHT THEM into thinking that THEY were the crazy one for reacting to what he just said, tried to manipulate them into thinking that the reason why their relationship ended was all their fault, and tried to act like HE was the mature one by making the decision to end it in the first place—-

And you’re telling me you saw ALL OF THIS UNFOLD, and your first thought was, “Oh yeah, all of this is definitely listener’s fault. They had it coming, lmao. Good luck to Alex in the States.”

OH H E L L NO.

If he had been so quick to end his relationship of F O U R Y E A R S in a heartbeat over something he K N E W to be an out of character mistake, then what on God’s green Earth would make ya’ll think that he’d stick around had listener stayed silent???? Listener will make mistakes, and there will come a time when their emotions will get the best of them (as it does with all of us), and you guys really believe that Alex’s fickle, emotional whiplash having, “this would be good for us, we both wouldn’t be tied down anymore 🥺” headass would still stay then???

Because, HE W O U L D N ‘ T.

He saw the opportunity to leave, and he took it. He already had his mind made from the jump when he told his mother and father, his friends, his acquaintances, his ancestors—and the ENTIRE W O R L D that he was taking that NYC job and his partner was last to know. Listener—-his own goddamn partner—-was the only person he needed to get rid of. They were his “burden” to bear, and he wanted to rid himself of it. And he didn’t want to seem like the bad guy, so he made excuses to make the break up easier on himself, pushed the blame away from him, and cried like the little baby back bitch he is in order to make it seem like this was such a hard decision to come to. He disregarded listener’s feelings, disregarded them as a whole, disrespected them, and left them with (probably) more trauma then what they started with.

I am sick and tired of seeing people blame the listener for everything that happened. They did not deserve the way they were broken up with at all. Alex isn’t a victim. He never was—and he stopped being the “mature one” (if you can even call it that) the moment those dumbass excuses came out of his slimy mouth.

For the people who were saying, “Alex deserves better than listener! I hope he finds a new partner.” Ya’ll need to realize that if this is how he acts when listener makes a mistake, he will do the absolute same thing with his future partners. He will give up the entire relationship and make an exit plan as soon as they do something even a little bit out of character. People who fold that easily and refuse to put effort in their relationship will NEVER KEEP IT. He will end up being single, and I know he’s the type of person who will never consider himself as a factor as to why his relationships all end in faliure because he has such a victim complex.

This man deserves absolutley nothing, ya’ll! NOTHING!

And I hope that one day, he realizes what he did was wrong, and apologizes to them. I will literally not be able to die peacefully if this doesn’t happen.

The craziest thing is that back in the olden days (four months ago), I would’ve been so scared to publish this whole rant, ya’ll. 😭 My dislike for Alex has been a hyper-fixation that held me in a massive chokehold—and I was honestly scared I was going to get hated on for not liking him (as well as my reasons for disliking him in the first place). But in the most strange turn of events, a lot of people share the same disdain I have for him too, and the comments on that break-up audio is now more critical toward Alex than it is toward listener, and these were both really big shocks to me. I’m really happy that a lot of people enjoy my rants, and even more happier (and surprised) to see Saku HIMSELF like my rant posts too.

Like literally ya’ll, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The love ya’ll leave for these rants are the reasons why I feel more and more confident to make them in the first place, and I appreciate it all very much.

So, here’s to next year, and to all the rants I’ll make in the future! And I hope we’ll all have a great year!

(Except for you, Alex. I hope your credit card declines when you try to pay for that $2.90 train fare and nobody opens the emergency door for you).

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Tom Bennett SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Tom's a cheeky fucker - one of those people that tilts their head and taps their cheek in order to demand a kiss from their partner. Slaps their bum a lot too.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Tom doesn't know how to be friends with people he's attracted to - he's flirting his way into their pants.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Tom is partial to the occasional spoon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

The idea of settling down terrifies Tom. He's useless around the house as he's grown up having Lois do everything for him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He'd do it in person and be straight to the point with it, eager to get away as soon as it's done.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Not a chance.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Tom is rough and ready. He's flirtatious and coarse with his language and likes to manhandle his partners.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Tom likes hugs, but will likely try to cop a feel while he's at it.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Tom won't likely say this for a while - it's a big step in commitment and will have him running scared. He'll probably use it as an ace card should a partner he truly cares for ever try to end things. "But I love you!" type of thing.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Tom will be the one making his partner jealous, not the other way around..

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Tom's a good kisser. He'll have his partner's knees weak with those soft lips. He kisses slowly but passionately, with a hand cradling his partner's cheek.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Finds children fun, as he's a big kid himself, but has no immediate plans to have any of his own.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Lays in bed smirking "you gonna make me a cuppa then or what?" Cheeky twat.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

On the nights his partner is lucky enough to see him (he's usually out and about, up to no good), he'll want to take them to the pub and then down the nearest alley before he walks them home.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Tom loves to talk about himself, so this won't be an issue. He'd likely be more hesitant about sensitive subjects like the loss of his mum though.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Tom is easily wound up and can be quite cutting with his words when he is.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Absolutely hopeless at remembering anything, but always remembers where to kiss/touch to make his partner melt.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

How his partner looked when he picked them up for their first date, he thought they looked absolutely beautiful and had the dopiest grin when he saw them all dressed up.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Tom will gladly get in a scrap to defend his partner. He doesn't think it's necessary for them to do the same though, he can handle himself.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not an awful lot, to be honest, but then he doesn't expect much in the way of effort either - he just enjoys the simplicity of being together.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Smoking and being excessively cocky.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Very. Tom likes to look sharp.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No, Tom's an independent guy and likes his space.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Routinely tricks his partner into ironing his shirts for him by asking them to show him how to do it.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Clinginess and pressure to commit.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Tom is a sound sleeper. He goes to bed quite late and enjoys a lay in, if he can get away with it.

[octagledestroyer]

Good Omens Episode 3

I still don’t know why y’all are interested in this, but it’s more popular than anything I’ve ever posted before (including meticulously crafted DND stories and no im not bitter about that who’s bitter I’m not bitter you’re bitter) so I guess I’ll just...keep going?

Oh, and we’re back to the Garden of Eden. What’s he doing with that rock- oh look it’s God

Ah, this is presumably Noah’s Ark. Ok, but the thing is (here I go on a literary rant)- all civilizations who have recorded history have some sort of a flood myth/story! It’s everywhere- I really do think that at some point there was a massive flood that reached...possibly everywhere, I’m not too familiar with Native American mythology, but presumably Asia and Europe. 

“As a promise not to...do it again.” “How kind” Crowley’s sass is l e g e n d a r y

wOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT OK I JUST GOT OUT OF HOLY WEEK 

that was...a lot more graphic than I was expecting. I mean, you hear the hymns, everything, I even cried on Holy Thursday and couldn’t keep singing but I’ve never seen...

“What else am I gonna be, an aardvark?” Ok but does this mean Aziraphel was hoping that Crowley could be redeemed

these boys are SO dramatic- how old are they, 12?

burbage was absoLUTELY flirting with Crowley also why does it feel like Aziraphel knows nothing about plays? I mean “I love all the...talking...” it’s called a MONOLOGUE you silly angel

Hah so this is the Arrangement I’ve heard/read so much about. Ohhh Aziraphel’s so worried about Crowley! How did it take him until the literal end of the world to figure out he liked Crowley?

Ah, Paris. I’ve been waiting for this. Dude is so OBVIOUSLY waiting for Crowley-

Oh, Crowley froze time, didn’t he? Zira’s face just lit up like a candle how is he THIS OBLIVIOUS

I mean...do I feel bad for Jean-Claude or not? How did those soldiers not recognize him?

“I like pears” oh stay on topic Zira. Also, did anyone else get flashbacks to the Doctor’s hate of pears when they were talking about this?

...even though I knew this fight was coming and could practically recite it word-for-word it still h u r t

Ah. 1941. That’s a lot of lit candles for a church with two people in it...and those do NOT look secure. Even if that church didn’t blow up it probably would’ve burned to the ground sooner rather than later.

Whoa- triple crossing

They’re making light conversation while someone points a gun at them- never change, boys. never change. 

his fACE HE- gAH THESE BOYS

Also Crowley sounds so cool and suave but I would bet all the money in my purse that he rehearsed what he was going to say beforehand- probably in front of a mirror

wait, shadwell- shadwell- oh im STUPID ITS

im not even going to finish that sentence

Zira’s so scared and my heart is breaking 

we’re halfway through the episode and NOW the title sequence starts. It still doesn’t make any sense but at this point I’m just here for the music- oh and that epic thing they do at the end where the letters unfold to say “Good Omens”

I’m still in love with Dog. He’s the best thing ever and I want to hug him. 

Ok Adam is also completely precious. His book sounds exactly like something an 11-year-old would write. 

Ooooh Shadwell and Crowley still keep in touch- and Shadwell thinks Crowley’s the son of the man he met in... what was it, 1960? It’s been less than 10 minutes and I already can’t remember

I bet Anathema’s ranting about the world is going to shape what happens in Armageddon 

Adam’s been manipulating the weather in Tadfield for years, hasn’t he. White Christmas...

Are you serious both Crowley and Zira have been sponsoring the Witchfinder’s Army? 

Chow™

b o y s  you cannot do this to my h e a r t

Adam got rid of nuclear power in his sleep and replaced it with a sherbet lemon. wow. 

Well, that’s the end of episode 3- you know, I’m really enjoying this, more than I thought I would. I know the plot, yeah, but there’s so much I didn’t know and can still be surprised by. Next post might come out tomorrow or Sunday, or it might not...I’ve got a lot of editing to do. 

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Loui is forced to go to ~therapy~. It doesn’t go too well…. Sorta-

CDC: Alright Louisiana, t-today will be your first d-day of therapy and my first day as y-your therapist :D *thinks that this is gonna be somewhat normal*

Loui: Um… bye b*tch- *tries to escape but fails miserably cuz Gov/DC just snatched him up in his arms and tossed him into his seat*

Gov/DC, not in the mood for this bs: Don’t try that sh*t. You need therapy, you’re getting therapy.

Loui: Mai sha- I told you I’m fine!

Gov/DC: I know and that is the biggest piece of bs I’ve ever heard. Would you like me to name the things that are possibly if not are actually wrong with you?

Loui: *I’ve never heard silence quite this loud*

Gov/DC: Exactly.

CDC: Well that happened… Anyway, I’ll start out with simple question s-since it’s o-our first day. What would you say your m-mood is on a daily basis? And I don’t m-mean the mood or emotions that you may or may not put up to hide w-whatever you feel inside. I would l-like you to be honest with me, you can take as long as you need.

Loui: *death glare*

CDC: U-uhh…. *looks to Gov for help*

Gov: *sigh* Listen Lou… can you pls be a bit more cooperative right now?

Loui: Fine…

Gov: Thank you. Carry on. *leaves*

CDC: Alright. Do you have an answer to my question?

Loui: *under his breath* Just hit me with a car already…

CDC: What w-was that?

Loui: I said just hit me with a car already.

CDC: W-why…. Anyways, have you had anything bad or emotionally damaging happen to you recently and if so how recently?

Loui: I mean… my ex bf just cheated on me a couple days ago with some basic blonde b*stard of a man after he somehow got me to start dating him again after 3 years of verbal-sometimes-physical abuse and non-consensual touching and sh*t….

CDC: *in shock* Oh bud… That’s terrible… I’m so sorry…

Loui: It’s fine, it’s not that big a deal, other people have it worse.

CDC: What’re y-you talking about?! Ofc it’s a big deal!! What he did is not ok! And j-just because other people may h-have it worse doesn’t m-make your problems any less valid. How many times has this happened to you?

Loui: At least 4.

CDC: Jesus Christ….

Loui: Honestly maybe if I fell in love with ~ANXIETY~, it will ALSO leave me :D

CDC: I can’t handle this sh*t right now….

Loui: Just remember, if you can’t handle me at my worst…, I handle me at my worst EVERYDAY! WHICH MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU-

CDC: I can’t do this t-today….

Loui: Oh my gosh a spider!! *pulls out gun that Texas gave him (big mistake btw-)*

CDC: WAIT LOU-! It is a living thing! Treat it the way you want to be treated!

Loui: *points gun at spider* Killed without hesitation!-

CDC: LOUI- *tackles the poor thing and manhandles him to the ground so he can take the gun*

=======================================================================

CDC: *walks out with Louisiana behind him*

Gov: So…. How’d it go…?

CDC: *sigh* Long story short…, this kid’s g-going to need more professional h-help-

=======================================================================

[pheonyxian]

Baldur's Gate 3 Sexless Any% Part 3

I think some of my mutuals are using this as an actual way of knowing what BG3 is actually about so I figured I'd use this edition to talk about the plot and npcs a bit. Might slow down or stop these at some point? I thought the original premise was funny but I don't know if it's liveblog an entire 100 hour game funny. Regardless feel free to block the tag I'm adding if you don't want to hear any future rambles. Do love/hate it when a game I didn't intend to like so much gets its grubby mind flayer tentacles wrapped around my brain so hard.

The OC PC: RPing through the game as my OC Ank. I wasn't sure if picking an oc with strong psychic powers would rub against the mind flayer plot but so far it's been a perfect choice. Ank is traditionally a villain but I'm not playing a villain for my first play through, so it's been fun to rp him in a scenario where he's g o o d and his life didn't take a turn for the worse. He's also traditionally blind, but obviously the game isn't set up for that. I was originally just imagining cutscenes playing out differently if sight was involved, but maybe it'll be more interesting to consider him in a pre-blinded state. I'm sure certain repeated actions in the ocular region won't have any u n f o r t u n a t e effects.

Mind Flayers: The setup for the plot is that mind flayers have infected you (and your companions, and a large number of npcs) with mind flayer parasites and you have to remove them before you turn into fully grown mind flayers. Except for some reason you haven't turned yet and you get cool psychic powers with them.

The Guardian: In addition to making your own character at start, you also can character create your "guardian." Everyone I know just hits the randomize button because they've already spent an hour fussing over every detail of their character, but I knew this was coming and already planned my guardian out. And uh, like I said, Ank's traditionally a villain and the only guardian-like character he's ever had is uh... I'm going to be honest with you, if the guardian turns out to be the big bad of the game that's going to be funny as all fuck. I'm sure there's very little chance of that though, it's not like there's anything evil about telling you to s h o v e w o r m s i n t o y o u r s k u l l.

Withers: Withers is more of a mechanic than a character. I do want to know his story though. He's an undead or lich or something who will revive dead characters (for a cost) hire generic undead companions (for a cost, I guess if you want to resign your poor companion's unfortunate fate) and change your cast (for the same cost as undead friends.) I guess money still has use in the afterlife. I haven't had to use his services yet but I've had a lot of close calls and dwindling Revivify scrolls so it's only a matter of time.

Volo: Just Gale but a bard. Not a playable character Bard mind you. At least not yet. I don't know what his deal is. He offered to extract the mind flayer parasites with a pair of needles which I almost agreed to to see if he'd actually poke Ank's eye out.

And updates on companion stories:

Shadowheart: Decided that after a week of traveling and nearly dying together it was appropriate to breach topics again. Pretty sure the game expected me to ask these immediately once the option was available but like I said, we respect boundaries in this house. Anyway, Shadowheart's a cleric of Shar, who by context I'm assuming is bad. The way she put her worship didn't sound that bad, about embracing the darkness as a way of stripping falsehoods, right up until she started talking about toppling governments and killing innocents, so I'm keeping her at a 2/10 for being batshit insane.

Also her magical artifact is required for keeping me alive and she stole it and do we really want the e v i l cleric to have that kind of p o w e r over M E?

Lae'zel: Lae'zel sits at the very strange crossroad of honorable and completely ruthless. She's totally fine with killing your enemies but you have to do it the right way, and b r a i n w o r m s isn't the right way. I'd say the right way is whatever works. 7/10

Gale: All of my attempts to pry into Gale's backstory (boundaries? what boundaries?) were foiled by poor dice rolls so no updates on his dark and traumatic past. I did give him two magical artifacts to slurp up because he looked like he was going to die of heat stroke at camp. I've been avoiding spoilers but I had heard that it's hilariously difficult to not accidentally romance Gale due to a bug, and the fact that you can start his romance path without realizing it. Thankfully Ank is smart enough to realize that when you cast spells together that makes the air smell like rosewater it's time to high tail it out of there. 2/10 as smooth as a slip n' slide.

That said, I don't know if it's been patched yet, but according to the internet there's like a 50/50 chance the game thinks we've already banged. Tbd on that one. Sexless any% is slowly turning into Oops! Fucked Everyone thanks purely on technicalities.

Astarion: Based on the way people talk about him I genuinely thought the pompous personality was just a facade and that he'll eventually tip his hand and reveal he's been evil this entire time. But honestly based the bits of backstory he's (refreshingly, compared to the rest of these idiots) given out I think he's just the guy who, once given the keys to power, will drive right off sanity road. Regardless, he used to serve an abusive vampire lord so I guess we're going vampire hunting in the future. 10/10 bad influence gay best friend who tells you to chug and shove parasites up your eyes.

Wyll: Wyll is a warlock who serves a fiend that forces him to hunt down and kill demons, which sounds like a fine deal until some tricky wordplay came in. After refusing to kill Karlach (Tiefling, not demon) his patron changed him into a Tiefling too. Honestly? Upgrade. 6/10 nice guy but surrounded by more colorful characters.

Karlach: Ok here’s why Karlach is a 10/10 character even without taking sex appeal into consideration. She’s a Tiefling who served in some demonic war against her will and had her heart replaced with an infernal engine that constantly burns her and anyone she touches with searing hot pain. Despite this she has constant big sister energy and her biggest complaint is how touch starved she is. I don’t even care if it comes bundled with a sex scene, Karlach is getting a goddamn hug before the credits roll.

[countlessrealities]

@advnterccs sent: 📂 for Muse A to comment something about a current thread of Muse B’s & 💞 for Muse A to comment on Muse B’s relationships and/or people they know { To Rick about Evil Rick >:D } Multimuse grape vine

The questions prompt a loud snort out of Rick. He has plenty of opinions about the sociopath and his relationship with the only two people he properly acknowledges. And that alone already says something about the motherfucker.

"W-Where the fuck should I even start from? I-I mean, shit, there's a real fuckin' lot to say...an-and none of is good stuff." Understatement of the century. "I-I dare anyone who knows the guy t-to disagree with me...aside from that clown, b-but he's as bad as Evil Rick, s-so his opinion doesn't count."

And that other son of a bitch is smitten to the point that it's beyond embarrassing. And just as creepy.

"C-Current thread? Alright. D-Damn, he has...two? I-I kind of lost track for a minute there. B-But yeah, two and they are both w-with him and his master." Cue to an eyeroll. "I-I swear, those two can't even have a normal conversation. L-Look at them, t-the clown made up the lamest excuse ever t-to get his pet drunk and...dig around his b-backstory or whatever he's doing. An-And of course Evil Rick went along with it. H-He could have at least called the guy out. Y-You tie yourself to someone for life, b-blind trust and all, an-and you can't even have a honest talk with them? C-C'mon, it was fuckin' rickdiculous."

And yes, that's the right word to make his point at its fullest.

"An-And speaking of those two," he goes one, lips curling in an expression of distaste. "T-That's one of the most fucked up relationships I've ever seen an-and I've been around a lot. G-Got into some bad ones myself, b-but those psychos? T-They are on a whole different level. A-A match made in fuckin' hell. An-And I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out tha-that they are in the literal sense."

If they ever got married, a version of the Devil would definitely be the most fitting being to officiate it. Most likely by performing a human sacrifice.

"An-And don't get me started on their sex life. S-Sure, now it's not as bad as before, b-but fuck. T-The clown didn't even know the most important thing a-about his partner and Evil Rick j-just let him...do whatever the motherfucker wanted to do to him. T-To hell the fact that he hated every single second. F-For real, who the hell does that? Y-Yeah, he's fuckin' obsessed, but damn."

He almost grimaces at his own thoughts and words. "Nasty" and "disturbing" don't even start to cover it.

"An-And then there's President Evil. A-Another fuckin' creepy mess right there. H-He basically tortured the kid f-for who knows how long. Y-Yeah, most Ricks do fucked up shit to their Mortys, b-but again...the motherfucker brought that to another level too. N-No wonder the little psycho turned out t-the way he is."

Not a mine copy of his Rick, but close enough.

"S-So, he twists the kid into some creepy ass weird, t-then said little creep turns against him, t-traps him in his own mind an-and use him as his puppet. G-Gets him killed even. O-Or well, sort of. An-And what does the psycho do? H-He goes straight back to his obsession w-with his Morty, b-but now he wants to be the little freak's loyal, feral pet. An-And how he gets there? H-He stalks him, b-butchers people for him an-and leaves him creepy notes written in blood. An-And there are verses where his Morty takes him back. C-Can you fuckin' believe that?"

Yet another match made in hell, just of a different kind.

"A-Anyone who even just thinks about getting interested in the guy...D-Don't. He's bad news, h-he's creepy as fuck, he can't even feel shit properly. An-And even if he ends up liking you back in his stalkerish, disturbing way? Y-You're gonna regret it. U-Unless you're as messed up as he is."

[badmuni]

↝ yang jungwon a to z analysis : SFW (!)

A : affection — very affectionate, but not necessarily physical. he's affectionate the most with the way he talks and treats his partner.

B : best friend — as a best friend jungwon is very considerate and easy going. he likes to keep his friends close and not lose contact with them, so he's always present in their lives.

C : cuddles — he likes to cuddle. he would initiate it sometimes but he prefers his partner to do it. usually when the weather is calm and there's nothing bothering around, he would jump over his partner and never let them go.

D : domestic — he's clean, but honestly, he just do the basic. he doesn't like disorganization but also he's not crazy over it.

E : ending — he wouldn't handle a break up very well because his emotionally side would be very affected if he and his partner were no longer together. he would overthink a lot his actions and took a time to get over it.

F : fiance(e) — he has some expectations about commitment. he thinks about marriage and have that as a goal, but there's no way he's hasty about it.

G : gentle — he's very gentle and nurturing. he pays attention to his partner feelings and wants them to rely on him.

H : hugs — he do it often, he doesn't care give hugs in public too as long as it's not exaggerated. his hugs are warm and comforting, he usually hugs his partner when he's feeling happy so then he can load them with his happiness.

I : i love you — give him one month. i think one month (or maybe two?) of dating would be enough for him. he would say it often though...

J : jealousy — he get jealous easily but he manages it well. you can notice by his body language his jealousy, but he wouldn't confront his partner or someone else about anything unless he feels it's necessary.

K : kisses — he likes to kiss his partner on their cheeks or neck, usually where they have tickles the most so he do it in a way to tease them.

L : little ones — so apparently he likes kids and he's very good with them because of his soft yet energetic energy.

M : morning — mornings with him are calm, he's not very talkative at this time. it takes a while for him to get out of bed since he likes to be close to his partner.

N : night — at night he's the most energetic. he can stay up until dawn, doing anything just to enjoy his partner company.

O : open — it takes a while for him to open up. he is protective of his own feelings and he is more used to listening people than talking about him. he starts reveling things about him slowly with time.

P : patience — he's very much patient but there are specific things that makes him angry so you never know.

Q : quizzes — he almost never forgets about things. he is very good at remembering details, be it moments or facts. he would know his partner very well; their taste, their favorite things, their little stories.

R : remember — his favorite moment was when he felt needed by his partner, when they looked up for him. he loves to feel like this, necessary.

S : security — he's very protective of his partner. he likes to guide them and he wouldn't let anyone say something bad to them.

T : try — he doesn't plan the dates since he likes it to be spontaneous. i think he would spoil his person a lot though, giving them gifts and paying for things.

U : ugly — he has this bad habit where he sounds authoritative sometimes, or kinda selfish with his point of view.

V : vanity — he's confident about himself and likes to look pretty. he puts effort on his appearance but he likes to make it look like he doesn't care.

W : whole — he feels kind of anxious when his partner is not around.

X : xtra — he texts his partner when wakes up and before sleep because they're on his mind since the start of day until the end.

Y : yuck — he doesn't like when his partner is being too reckless or precipitate over things.

Z : zzz — he sleeps quietly, not moving too much. loud noises can wake him up easily.

# masterlist

a/n: so yk, i'm trying write new things, and i gotta be honest, this one was so fun to do ! i'm happy about it. hope you like it too 😳

[fairytheo]

enhypen as your boyfriend.

boyfriend!enhypen x gen!reader. fluff. 1.9k. curse words. mention of bugs, food. not requested.

🐈 ⸝⸝ HEESEUNG ˙𐃷˙

super-duper caring !!

he’s so whipped for you — he smiles just by thinking about you

also very giggly around you

LOVES lending you his beanies

(aka. you stealing them..)

+ you steal his earrings as well ! not that he minds

absolutely adores singing for you / he loves singing you to sleep :D

hold up, is being heeseung’s s/o just being his personal ramen cook 🤨🤨

he aaalwaays bugs you to play games with him (especially wii and nintendo switch lmao)

either that or you’re playing animal crossing while eating takeout at your dinner table

you’re the only person in the world who he’ll ever do aegyo for. 

he secretly enjoys it, but shhh you didn’t hear that from me

i think he likes calling you names like cutie, cutiepie or just a shorter version of your name <3 (if there is one !)

booping your nose is on his everyday to do list ☝️

lowkey therapist & boyfriend in one ngl

WAIT he loves making playlists for you two,, 

“y/n! i made another playlist, do you wanna listen to it? i made it while thinking of you.” <//3 

the type to write cheesy lyrics about you, then later cringes at his own writing bUT then leaves it like that because you like it !

you have his cover of lauv’s “i’m so tired” either set as your alarm or play it on loop everyday 

(random but for some reason i can picture him giving you a cassette with his cover on it just for the vintage vibes)

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAY ˙𐃷˙

the mom-and-boyfriend in one ;] 

f a s h i o n  c o u p l e 

you are literally fashion icons. no disagreements. 

you have matching clothes or accessories ! even if it’s really subtle, the gesture behind it is super adorable <//3

cooking pt. 2 :D but this time there’s a gorden ramsay in your relationship

i can just SEE how you both two impersonate gorden ramsay while cooking which makes everything 10 times funnier !! checks every 5 seconds if the food is ready tho because he doesn’t wanna risk anything

never cleans up afterwards, either you do or no one does

since you’re both fashion icons your social media followers are going 📈📈📈

literally couple goals.

he loves taking pictures of you,, but also wants you to take pictures of him 

jay gets flustered easily so please make him flustered with sudden compliments, hugs, kisses, etc. !!

he’s also the only member i can really see calling you babe

confident but shy about pda at the same time ??? he’s both LOL 

you always tease him with his RAS moments and randomly quote them when you’re in the middle of a conversation with him lmao

random and idk if this fits here, but he likes making your lunch — leaves you encouraging notes too <3

last but not least: jokingly gets angry at you when he wants something from you, and you do the same thing back ♡

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAKE ˙𐃷˙

sweetest and softest boyfriend to ever exist. i’m so soft for him JSHSHS

definitely calls you sweetie and darling. 100%. fight me if you think otherwise. 

shows you pics of layla everyday (it’s become routine for him >_<)

a tiny bit cliché BUT lends you his jacket whenever you’re cold (even when you’re inside !!)

random thought: jake puts his hands in your hoodie pockets...

💔💔💔

it’s his personal goal to peck your cheek and forehead at least twice a day — gets pouty if he wasn’t able to do that ))):::

talks in english a lot because you love his accent !!

if you’re an english speaker, you’ll have conversations in english all. the. time.

if you’re not an english speaker, no worries, he’ll teach you !

+ reads you bedtime stories in english (jake’s australian accent >>>) 

dreams of travelling with you to australia <33  

if there’s a bug in the house you better know that jake will NOT be removing them and runs out of the house

WILL stay over at one of the other member’s houses untill that bug is REMOVED . 

so if you’re afraid of bugs as well,,, i’m sorry bae, but it’ll be your task to remove these little... creatures 😐

ngl you have more photos of layla than of him on your phone lol

(spams you with her pictures and captions them with “y/n!!! look!!! layla with a flower!!!! layla with a butterfly!!!!” it’s just so sweet aaa)

we need some “””drama””” so you make jokes about him being a “🥶💸🔥💪” boy a lot in your relationship LMAO

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNGHOON ˙𐃷˙

ice skating dates.

this has been mentioned in other headcanons a lot already but i just HAD to include it,,

convinces you to eat ice cream after your date LOL even if it IS winter

btw. fashion couple nr. 2 !!! 

MIRROR SELCAS

MIRROR SELCAS 

ugh the visuals and the power you two hold,,,, i can’t,,,,,

has better clothes than you ngl so you share clothes lmao

it started with him lending you his sweatpants, but then you didn’t want to return them forgot to return them and BOOM 💥 here we are

extremely awkward and shy at first — don’t worry though, he becomes much more chaotic in the later phases of your relationship

he teases you SO MUCH. LIKE. SO MUCH.

always has small smile (smirk?) on his face when he’s about to make a cocky remark (so beware)

you tease him back just twice as hard which 1.) results in him in becoming flustered 2.) fails LOL

off-topic but he’d love a s/o that has a similar style to him ??? a more elegant, classy, dark style perhaps

when he’s away / busy he’ll send you some selcas and captions them with “how r u doing??” “did you eat yet?” “cheer up :P” 

kinda shy about pda but likes showing off too ???

i mean,, men... 🙄🙄 /lh

whenever someone mentions your name near him, he’ll just try to hide his smile while biting his lip (yk what i’m talking about???) and you’ll see his dimples and the affectionate look in his eyes and just AAAAA

the type of boyfriend that calls you love~

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNOO ˙𐃷˙

skin care routines with sunoo 24/7 🤝

he does your hair (if your hair is long enough to do different hairstyles with it ofc !!) 

send you daily weekly skin care products he thinks you two should try out / that’d be good for your skin <3

spa nights every friday at 9pm — he only lets you in if you wear a stylish pyjama LOL

you buy him peach items because they just remind you so much of him (｡•́︿•̀｡)

SELCA TIME !!! his phone is always ready !!! (apart from his storage maybe?)

PARTICIPATES IN SELCA DAYS OF YOUR FAVOURITE IDOLS AAA

loves to go on walks w u

does A LOT of aegyo,, 

and i know that you knew that this point will be in this headcanon.

for eg. instead of saying goodnight or bye he’ll just do aegyo for you not that anyone minds tbh

stages of sunoo flirting (?):

a — tries to compliment you (it sounds more like a flirty remark tbh)

b — realizes then blushes

c — cringes and runs away LMAO

playfully acts jealous, so you know it’s a joke but deep down he’s actually jealous

you two match each others vibes a lot — if one is sad, the other is sad as well

+ tells you your posture is bad when you sit like a banana or tells you to go to sleep early and when you don’t listen to him, he’ll show you an article that proves that (abc) and (xyz) is bad for you and says “i told you so.” 💀

🐈 ⸝⸝ JUNGWON ˙𐃷˙

impresses you by doing kicks (does the kick cap challenge on tiktok and/or you play kick it by nct 127 for the funzies) 

poking his dimple is a MUST . 😩😩

though gets super shy when you kiss him and also if you buy him gifts !!

cheers you up whenever you feel down or are upset

compliments you a ton ))): will randomly come up to you and tell you that your fit is cute or that you look brighter today,,, little does he know it's because of him ;]

HUGS!HUGS!HUGS

poking his dimple comes first, then hugging

the other members tease you two everytime you’re over LOL it’s like there are two koalas clinging onto each other

our yang garden gained another sheep +1

you two randomly play sheep,,,, like,,, everyday ???? sheep cosplays 👍

idk why ig it’s just fun to imitate sheep and go “mmmeEeEeeEhh” to annoy others

talking of that, even THOUGH he is a responsible leader he will not hesitate to do stupid shit with you

“hey how about we ring on that house there and yell “sheep for sale!” do you think they’ll open the door?”

“i don’t know... let’s find out!” 🤝

let’s just say that this didn’t end well..

also kinda bullies you (in a loving way ofc !!) pand teases you nonstop

either calls you asshole or love aHA

in conclusion: a very unpredictable relationship,, would 10/10 recommend.

very random but i feel like his love language is acts of service

🐈 ⸝⸝ NI-KI ˙𐃷˙

oh look it’s our tsundere 😼

can’t go a day without dancing so you two have vibing sessions at 2am everyday ft. the others telling you to go to bed

you’re the only one that can make him soft lol

if you’re older than him, you would definitely take care of him like your own baby !! 

if you are the same age as him or younger it’d be awkward for him at first, because he isn’t used to taking care of someone younger, so he’d treat you as if you were his best friend at the beginning

you love to watch him dance !! it’s so satisfying,, LITERAL asmr.

pranks you 24/7. boy has NO mercy. will not care if the others will scold him later. he will do the prank smoothly (?) — doesn’t care about the consequences LMAO

probably sets your alarm to someone screaming or a cringy aegyo song <//3

wants to film dance covers with you !! you don’t have to be the best dancer either !! as long as you have fun ^__^ 

the other members find you really cute but are also vERY TIRED OF YOU,, two energized teens in a relationship was not a good idea ☝️

likes to randomly hold your hand and swing it around 

probably distant at the beginning of the relationship because a.) he doesn’t want to pressure you/make things awkward b.) he doesn’t really know what to do either ???

(if you’re not japanese or don’t know how to speak japanese) he’ll definitely teach you some japanese phrases and words !! introduce you to his culture as well :DD and he really wants to know more about your culture too <3

teaches you phrases like “sunoo is a dumbass” for the funzies LOL

randomly makes micheal jackson impressions,,, it’s hilarious LMFAO

[simpfordemetri]

Rosalie Cullen soft alphabet

A - Affection (how do they show affection)

Rosalie it's not the clingy type,but she for sure will make sure you are receiving affection.

She will kiss your cheek every time you enter a room,holds hands and hug you from behind.

She is also okay with PDA,sitting you on her lap.

B - Balance (how do they balance you, work/school/life?)

She is always at your house or you at hers,you two go to the same school so she always has time for you.

C - Cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? what positions?)

Yes,she loves having you on her arms when nights come,usually watching some film.

She pulls you close by your waist and you lr head is on her shoulder.

D - Date (what was your first date?)

She invited you to her house,and you two were talking about your like getting to know each other,painting your nails and doing makeups styles.

E - Excited (how excited do they get when they see you/are with you?)

She is not so expressive sometimes,but when she sees you a big smile appears on her face ,running to you.

F - Fighting (what happens when you fight)

Arguments with her are common,but most of them are because of the dumbest things.

She tends to raise her voice but always calms down.

G - Gorgeous (pet names. what do they like to call you? what do they like to be called?)

She calls you baby,all the time,and you love it.

You always call her Rose or love.

H - Hi (first time meeting)

You were new in Forks,and you meet her at the high school,she avoided you at first.

I - Intimacy (how romantic they are)

Surprisingly she is so romantic,always watching with you romantic movies and ask you to recreate the cutests scenes.

J - Jealousy (do they get jealous? how do they react to you being jealous)

Yep,she is so jealous,someone is talking with you?she hugs you from the back and leaves kisses all over your neck making a point.

K - Kisses (where do they like to kiss you/how often?)

Her kisses are passionate,she will grab you by the waist and pull you as closer as possible to her.

L - Love (when was the first time they said I love you or realized it?)

She knew she loved you after your first kiss,she realizes she can't stay away from you.

The first time she said it was one night she were at your house, cuddling,she kisses your forehead and whisper it.

M - Moving in (when do you decide to move in together)

She asks you to live with her few months before changing you,just so you could adapt to her kind of life.

N - Newborn (their reaction to starting a family)

She always wanted a family,she is the one who asks you to adopt a kid,you of course agreed.

O - Open (how open you are with one another)

It's hard for her to open about her past,it's takes a long time until she tells you.

But when she did it,she realizes she can totally trust you and that you will always be here for her.

P - Photos (what kind of photos you take of them/they take of you)

She always takes photos of you with your phone,commenting how cute you are.

Q - Quirks (what random habits do you have that they love or hate/vice versa)

Admires the way you zone out when you are thinking about something,until you realizes she is looking at you.

She hates when you pick your skin when you are nervous,holding your hands in hers.

R - Recovery (how you help them after an injury/vice versa)

Whenever she feels exhausted,you take her somewhere calm,letting her talk about what's bothering her.

If you get hurt or feel bad,she will be there with you as soon as possible,holding you close.

S - Solution (how they resolve fights)

She is pretty stubborn,so you are the one who has to talk to her first,then she will calm down and apologize to you.

T- Touch (when they need/want your touch, what will they do? how often?)

As I said she is not so clingy,but she feel complete when you touch her,so when you hold her by the waist she is melting.

U - Up ( waking up with them)

Tickles you softly to wake up,asking what do you want for breakfast or if you want her to take you somewhere to have a coffe.

V - Vacation (where they travel with you)

She takes you to Esme island all the years,it's like your tradition.

W - Wedding (how they propose/where you get married/honeymoon)

Of course she wants a wedding,she propose one night under the moon,expressing all her feelings to you.

X - X-factor (what about you captivated them?)

The way you are so clumsy,she loves when she has to grab you so you don't fall,it's remind her of her humanity.

Y - Yawning (how they act when they’re tired)

She tries to avoid you,acting like she needs to be alone,but you take her to the coach and be the big spoon.

Z - Zzzz (how you fall asleep together)

When you are at each other houses,you always fall asleep in her lap,and she stays there until you wake up.

[englishbreakfasttae]

obsession | jjk

➵ Warnings :  🔞

This work of fiction contains dark themes and may not be suitable for all readers, mutual masturbation, phone sex, praise kink, cursing/dirty talk, pillow riding, exhibitionism, dom!jimin, sub!reader, voyeurism, mild degradation, fingering, yandere character, stalking, hacking, manipulation.

➵ Word count : 6.1k

➵ Masterlist : click here

➵ Tags : @ mwitsmejk

➵ Author’s note : this the edited and newest version of obsession. i had previously started writing it last year and published it till chapter 5 (i believe). however, i ended up not liking how the story turned out so here i am attempting to make something out of it for the final time. please let me know your thoughts. constructive criticism is always welcomed. 

Art credit : NaBHaN (devianart)

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C H A P T E R  1 :--

C U R I O U S I T Y  K I L L E D  T H E  C A T

“I’m so curious about knowing the unknown; it can be scary, but I see it as a game.”

– Hrithik Roshan

You place the cup on the auburn table. Warm liquid flows out of it leaving a mark on wood’s surface in the shape of a ring. You stare at it, you stare at the computer screen, and then back at the table covered with reminiscent of pomegranate tea. Wiping the stain using your index finger as your legs fidget under the desk. How bad can it be? It’s just a one-time thing, and you’re experienced enough to venture out on your own. You think about the time K00kies97 warned you about the dark side of the internet as you contemplate your decision.

K00kies97 : ur still new dont do it alone anytime soon

You : it’s not that deep

K00kies97 : but its dangerous

K00kies97 : you never know who youll run into

You : fine :/

You : what are we learning today?

K00kies97 : ARP poisoning

He was quite surprised to know your interests, well, to some extent. He had an interesting username, you always thought. It wasn’t rocket science but it was something that he was proud of, creating the lamest username to bluff people into thinking it was just one of those run-of-the-mill accounts that liked to shop online and play Overwatch. Of course, you didn’t speculate on your own that it was a hacker’s account. But what you did guess right was that he was born in 1997, someone around your age. And that he perhaps liked cookies a lot.

It’s been three weeks since you have continued your lessons or even talked at all. You met on Reddit one fine day; he came across your subreddit on wanting to learning hacking but not being able to find a tutor. He needed to pay college tuition and it was just a perfect source of extra income that didn’t clash with his part-time job and the timing was flexible for both of you. It was a match made in heaven.

You’re not going lie to yourself about your little crush on him. It’s bizarre because you’ve never met him, never seen his face, never even heard his voice. But you think a lot about him these days, something you’ve never revealed to him. There’s something very attractive about a stranger who knows his way around the internet and can-do cool things. It turns you on.

The cold spell between the two of you was caused due to an argument you had over exploring deep web own your own, which he dismissed faster than Barry Allen travelled from one timeline to the other. It hurt your ego to see someone think you’re not good enough to take a risk on your own so you ended up arguing.

Now you’re regretting your decision but your pride won’t let you text him first. Well, at least not with an apology. You brainstormed and concluded that if you’re able to achieve this milestone on your own and send him a victorious text, things might go back to normal. You have made up your mind.

You nervously shuffle on your chair, elbows pointing diagonally as you type away on the Tor browser. You come across a few chains of links and click on it. You know you shouldn’t absentmindedly open any link that pops up as it can contain viruses or something even worse. But you feel like a child at a candy store, all the links are like different flavours of sweet heavens; it’s not good for your health but it’s quite tempting. You stumble across certain chartrooms filled with conversations and codes you don’t understand.

Clicking on a link that leads to a forum, you try to crack the encryption using your basic coding skills mustered up with the training by K00kies97 in the past four months. It is an easy task and you realise why – it’s a website similar to Silkroad or even a branch of it, for all you know. You mentally pat yourself for starting successfully. But you don’t stay on the website for long, you click on the exit button. As you voyage through various links a chat window pops up at the bottom of the screen. The message reads a simple and non-threatening “hi”.

Excitement surges in your body as you eagerly begin to reply. The once warm tea is now cold, waiting to be tasted but you couldn’t care less. You have a new source of entertainment. You reply with a “hello”. Patiently tapping your fingers on the edge of your keyboard, you wait for their reply. Within a few seconds, you receive a link. Curiosity gets the best of you and you click on it.

The screen goes blank and you see your terrified reflection on the dark display. You reach out to the keyboard but before you can type anything, the screen comes back to life as if nothing happened. The chart box is still open and their username now reads EdgarAllenPoe.

EdgarAllenPoe : Gotcha.

You : wtf was that?

EdgarAllenPoe : What was what?

You : what was that link? is it some sort of virus?

EdgarAllenPoe : No my dear. I was just fucking with you. XD

You : it’s not even funny

You : fuck off

You quickly press on the X button, wanting nothing to do with the creep anymore. You close all the tabs, re-check your VPN access, deep clean your computer, and search for a possible breach of privacy – you find nothing suspicious. Stretching your arms, you release a long yawn. You get up and walk towards the bathroom, wanting to take a shower after a long tiring day. What you don’t realise is the turning on of your monitor’s webcam; the tiny red dot gleaming slightly and then vanishing all at once, unnoticed by your worn-out self.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

Sitting on the edge of your bed, your legs swing back and forth as droplets of water runs down your spine, clad in a baby pink bathrobe. You stare at his photo. His silver hair parted; his plump lips formed in a cutesy pout – he smiled like an angel. You scroll past that post and find him at a club, an old-fashioned whiskey glass gripped loosely in his hand as he looked at the camera. He had a devilish grin on his face.

Six months, fourteen days, and twenty-two hours ago was the last time you had sex which was a breakup sex with your long-term boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend – Park Jimin. You had been dating him ever since high school, your friends even called you the ‘ideal couple’. Everyone around you, though very happy to see you two together, was jealous of how they didn’t have what you lovebirds had. What they didn’t know was that with time your liaison had lost the spark. The physical aspect of the relationship was evergreen but the emotional half of it had slimmed down to the point you two sat together one day and decided that it’s better to part ways. It was a mutual agreement.  

It took you some time to move on but somehow it was easier than you thought. Maybe it was because you had it coming even before the breakup. But now because of your ever-so-growing libido, you couldn’t resist wanting to see him again. You had tried online dating, and even going on blind dates but none could par with Jimin. He was like the human version of Aphrodite. You can never resist him. And you feel guilty as charged for constantly communicating with him in the past few weeks.

What started as a casual post breakup conversation on social media has now bloomed into “yes, I want to fuck you… no, I want to get fucked by you both physically and emotionally.” Pfft, you didn’t say that to him in real life, it was just a thought you possessed in the back of your sexually frustrated mind. You had decided today to phone him and to talk.

“Hello?” His soft voice makes a smile creep up on your face when he picks up after the third ring.

“Hi Jimin,” you sigh contently.

“_ _ _, ah how are you?” Jimin straightens his posture as he realises it’s you.

“I am- I am doing great actually,” you lie. You’re anything but great. You want to lunge on him and rip his clothes off but that would be an odd conversation starter. “How have you been?”

“Just a little tired, it’s going to be midnight here in America.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you chuckle embarrassingly. “I didn’t realise it’d be so late there. I can call you some other time then.”

“No no no no.” You hear his velvety laughter. “It’s the perfect time to talk…” He hesitates. “I kind of miss you.”

Your heart skips a beat. Pulling your phone away from your face, you internally scream. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. What are you supposed to reply with?

“I guess I feel the same way, hence, the phone call.” You sound like you’re uncertain rather than returning his heartfelt confession. You mentally face-palm yourself for acting like a fourteen-year-old teenage girl talking to her crush.

You imagine him shrugging on the other side, a stupid smile flaunting on his face – which turns out to be true. You know him so well. “What are you doing?”

“I just took a shower.” You answer as you fiddle with the string of your bathrobe.

He asks with mischief laced in his tone. “And what are you wearing?”

“Right now? You know, a robe. The baby pink one.” You blush thinking about how he can turn the conversation in a completely different direction.

“Apparently, your favourite colour,” you add.

“Hmm, interesting.” You hear him shuffle. Is he sitting on a bed too? “Do you want to take it off? I’d like you to take that off.”

“Maybe.” You tilt your head to the side as you view your reflection in the floor-length mirror facing your bed. You see yourself lazily sprawled across the satin covers with your legs spread open, suspended from the bed.

You slowly untwine the strap of fabric holding your robe together, all while your eyes remain focused on your reflection. As the robe descends your body and falls on the bed, bit by bit your figure is unravelled. The wrap comes undone flaunting your glistening collarbone and your perked-up breasts, nipples poking out. And your soft tummy, and your belly button, and… The reveal stops there.

“It’s off,” You confess.

Jimin’s demeanour changes. “Good girl. Are you in your room?” He asks in a husky low-toned voice. His voice dives directly to your core and you shudder.

“Yes, I am. On the bed, facing the mirror.” You hear a low grunt. He knows your little kink for exhibitionism and your vintage mirror that you keep for the sole purpose of looking at yourself when you do dirty, dirty things. And you know how much he loves it.

“You just love it when your pretty little naked body is on show?” He whispers sensually.

“I do.”

You are growing impatient. He can hear it in your voice. But he’s the type of person who likes to torture slowly. He sinks into his couch, tilting his head to the side, and reaches down to palm himself through his pants. The mere knowledge of him being the cause of your frustration is turning him on.

“Jimin?” You whimper. Why isn’t he responding to you? You are growing more and more frustrated as the seconds pass by.

“Yes, dear?” You moan when the words leave his mouth. You loved it when he called you with nicknames. You love nicknames. You run your cold fingers across your hardened nipples, pinching it slightly.

“What are you doing right now?”

“Guess?”

“Mhm, must be something outrageous,” he groans. “I want you to take that pretty hand of yours lower. Do it slowly. And touch yourself.”

You put him on speaker mode and place the phone beside you. You leisurely lift your robe completely, leaving you stark naked. You spread your legs further and view your dripping slit in the mirror as you run two fingers up and down. It makes you moan harder. Which makes him release a grunt he didn’t know he was holding.

Jimin quickly unzips his pants and shoves it halfway down his thighs along with his boxers. His cock springs free, bobbing against his stomach. After gaudily spitting into his palm, he drags it up and down his shaft. You mewl as you hear him making a mess of his cock.

“Oh fuck, _ _ _ _. You make me so hard.”

“Mhm.”

“Now put a finger inside.” You obey as he says, your uneven moan answering his order.

You fondle with your breasts with one hand and finger yourself with the other as you put on a show for your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes flutter shut as you imagine Jimin pumping himself – his pretty face covered in pearls of sweat, his thick eyebrows furrowed, his long eyelashes shut, and his luscious pink lips puckered in a pout. The urge to kiss him right now is increasing as your moans get muddled and you near your peak.

“Fuck, Jimin!” You whine.

Jimin’s relaxed strokes have now increased its pace. He bites his lips trying to suppress his vulgar groans. He needs to remember that it’s midnight where he lives and he does not want to wake up his neighbours. His lifted shirt exposes his defined abs, droplets of sweat dripping down and reaching his pubic hair streaming down from under his belly button to his member.

“Jimin, fuck! I want you so fucking bad.” You’re panting desperately, rubbing your clit vigorously while you finger yourself.

“I know doll. I want you under me. I want to fuck you so bad and so hard, just the way you like it.

“You sound so fucking needy.”

“Is that so? Put another finger inside. Now!” You know you pulled a nerve but it’s turning you on even more.

“Y-yeah,” you reply, easing in another finger. You’re indeed so wet and ready. If only it was his hardened length entering you. You’re left with your incomplete want for only a second when Jimin’s hoarse voice cuts your train of thoughts.

“Now put a third finger.”

“What? It’s too much.” You try to even out your breath. He hisses in return.

“Do as I tell you.”

You insert your ring finger inside your dripping wet cunt, cursing under your breath while adjusting to the tightness.

“What was that?”

“It’s too tight Jimin.” You say honestly.

“My baby has not been fucked rightly all these months,” he manages to form the perfect sentence all while pumping himself so hard he’d combust any moment. He wants to make you feel good, and for that, he’s willing to do anything right now. Even if it ends up waking up his neighbours.

“Fuck Jimin, I’ve been waiting for your big dick.”

“I’m here now baby”

“I want you to ruin me with that big fat cock,” you gasp.

That’s all it takes for Jimin to come undone as he lifts his hips off the couch and fucks himself upward into his hand while moaning your name as loudly as possible.  Your dirty talk has that effect on him. It still amazes him when a person who looks as innocent as you, with your puppy eyes, can say those lewd words.

You have not reached your high yet, you’re edging. Jimin catches his breath and tries to compose himself. Wiping off sweat from his face he coos. “Is there a pillow nearby?”

“Yes, hold on.” You hastily pick up an idle pillow and wait for his further instructions.

“Fold it, and ride it,” he whispers. “Ride the pillow imagining it’s me.” You turn around and sit up on your knees. You angle the folded pillow in a way that you’re again facing the mirror. You lower yourself till your core touches its surface, you hiss the moment your dropping clit comes in contact with the soft fabric.

“Good girl.”

You look right into the mirror making eye contact with your reflection. You bite you lower lip, your teeth grazing the soft skin delightfully. You gently rock yourself gently all while looking yourself in the mirror, causing an eruption of friction between your heat and the fabric. It feels so good. You hold the pillow with one hand while squeezing your breast with the other. “It feels so good.”

“I know baby. Are you imagining riding me?”

“Yes,” you confess. You imagine Jimin laying down under you instead of the pillow. You imagine running your palms across his toned abs and his soft locks. You pivot your hips faster and roll your head back, closing your eyes. You breast jiggles as you increase your pace. Jimin guides you through the high, in his sweet seductive voice.

“Say my name,” Jimin urges.

You moan his name again and again as if it’s a hymn that’ll save you from everything. You buck your hips harder and pant breathlessly. You know you’re very close. Your body starts trembling and you have to use both your hands to balance yourself on the bed.

“Come for me baby, come for me.”

You let go of all the restraints you’ve been holding for so long. His command is enough to make you shudder and release. You arch your body, whimper loudly for the whole world to hear, and roll your eyes to the back of your head as you reach orgasm. Your body is still slowly rocking back and forth, riding the euphoria. You look at yourself in the mirror; face glowing both with sweat and the after effects of pleasure, hair bunched up in a mess, and knees placed weakly on the bed. You plop flat on the bed and try to calm yourself.

You both stay quiet on the line for a while, trying to match each other’s inhaling and exhaling.

“Jimin?” You rasp.

“Hmm?”

“When will you come back to Korea?”

He hesitates for a bit, drawing in a wave of disappointment in the pit of your stomach. You regret asking him at all, knowing the answer.

“Soon,” he answers cautiously.

“Alright,” you bite your lip. “It’s getting quite late Jimin, you should get some rest.”

Jimin doesn’t fail to notice the change in your tone. He doesn’t know what to say, he cannot comprehend how he feels.

“Thank you for today, Good night ___.”

“Good night,” you say softly and end the call. You throw your phone across the bed and sigh. You look up at the ceiling wondering what must be going on in Jimin’s mind. There’s nothing you can come up with, he is unpredictable sometimes. You hate it and you give up on thinking.

You’re slowly drifting off to slumber but jolt upright when you hear your cell phone chime. It must be Jimin, you think. You’re hopeful.

You reach for your phone and unlock it. Your heart is beating recklessly. You become disappointed again when you see it’s a message from an unknown number. Yet, you still open it.

Unknown [ 1:10 PM ]

You are a dirty little girl.

That’s highly unlikely of Jimin. You decide to reply anyway.

You [ 1: 13 PM ]

who’s this?

The reply comes so fast, it seems like the person was waiting for your answer all this while.

Unknown [ 1:14 PM ]

You know, an old friend.

You [ 1:15 PM ]

i’m sorry, could you be more specific?

Unknown [ 1:15 PM ]

Of course, my love. This is Edgar Allen Poe. You can call me Poe.

Your blood turns cold. You reread the message once again, and again, not believing the sight your eyes are seeing. This cannot be happening. How did this person get your phone number? You gulp hard and look on your left, your computer sitting straight, daunting you to turn it on. Your beating heart is telling you two things. One, you’re fucked. And two, you need to contact K00kies97 so that he can fix the blunder you’ve created.

You hear another notification and look at your phone screen.

Unknown [ 1:19 PM ]

Oh, don’t look so glum now. Doll.

You desperately look around the room, searching for a hidden person peeping at you through the window or someone braking into your house. You find no one. The text is mocking you, and you know it. You are scared but you don’t know what to do.

As a starter, you block the Unknown phone number first and head for the computer.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

A week has passed by and you haven’t received any form of communication from the self-proclaimed Edgar Allen Poe, you laugh bitterly recalling their name. You think it’s a mere coincidence, them naming themselves as your favourite author. After brainstorming with K00kies97 you came to the conclusion that it is just some decent hacker trying to mess with you. You have also learned your lesson that one shouldn’t wander in places that are dark and unknown.

It was quite surprising for you when K00kies97 forgave you so quickly without a single word of reprimand, he was willing to help you to solve your problem in a breath. If it was you in his place, you wouldn’t have forgiven someone easily but you’re thankful that he’s not like you. He’s kind, that much you know. And you’re thankful that even after being scared as hell, he can somehow make you feel calm. He has that effect on you.

“You’re dozing off quite a lot,” points out Wendy as she looks warily at your fatigued form. “And look at the bags under your eyes.” Your dear friend aims her index finger at your face.

“Please tell me it’s because of rendezvous with a hot guy rather than the amount of studying you’ve been lately doing,” Jisoo chimes in as she nods in your direction.

“Eh it’s nothing much, I’ve been binge-watching Netflix these days,” you fake a chuckle which doesn’t go unnoticed by Wendy.

“No worries, love. I’m back from my aunt’s place and we’re going to have a restful blast!”

“Restful blast?” Jisoo deadpans.

“Can you guys keep quiet?” A pale guy sitting across the library desk looks quite frustrated as flicks his gaze from Wendy to Jisoo to you.

Just as Jisoo is about to respond with something sassy you get up and pull her by her elbow, “guys it’s 5:00 PM already, we should take a break for today.”

Wendy arranges her stationary supplies and gathers it in her Satchel. You have a habit of walking home with Wendy and Jisoo after long hours of studying at the university library. You’ve always liked doing things with Wendy ever since you were kids. You used to play in her backyard, her mum used to bake cookies and give it to you in a Tupperware to take home. You mum then used to bake pumpkin pies and give you the job of delivering. Wendy and you then used to finish all the pie whilst sitting on her kitchen counter. You two shared everything, from clothes to homemade food to secrets. Your bond was unbreakable. Jisoo joined the squad much later so there’s still a lot to bond but she’s extremely valuable to you as well.

The three of you scramble towards the nearest campus exit and resume your daily gossiping. Your phone dings making your heartbeat race. It can be two possible people, either Jimin – who hasn’t contacted you since the impromptu sexy times you had a few days ago or the EAP – the unknown person who knocked the sanity out of you just a few days prior as well; the former you’ve been waiting for and the latter you’ve been dreading. Or it could just be a classmate asking for lecture notes.

You take out your phone from your jeans’ pocket and unlock it, completely blocking out your surroundings and the sound of your friends conversing.

Unknown [ 5:34 PM ]

☺

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. What can this possibly mean? You stare at the phone screen long enough that your vision starts blurring until a hand waves in front of your face. You look up to see Jisoo waving her hand in your direction.

“Eat up,” she tells as she shoves a bag of pretzels in front of you.

You frown and take the packet from her hand and dig in, trying to forget about the mysterious message you received. But in the back of your subconscious mind, you are feeling uneasy. Lucky for you, you won’t have to spend the night alone as your roommate slash classmate Wendy will be home.

“So did your family like Hoseok?” asks Jisoo.

“They didn’t just like him, they loved him!” Wendy has been in a serious relationship with Jung Hoseok for the past year, they met on college campus – him being one-year senior she was completely smitten; hence, they started their romantic escapade which is escalating faster than people had anticipated. “But enough about me, _ _ _ had phone sex with Jimin. Does that mean you’re getting back together?”

You steal a glance around you hoping no one apart from you three heard it. Jisoo looks at you in utter disbelief. “Ya! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was nothing really,” you brush it off. “Besides, you were busy with your internship so I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“I wasn’t that busy,” she counters, emphasising the ‘that’ as she looks daggers at you through her lashes. “Seriously though, what do you see Jimin as?”

You sigh and stare at a kid holding a cone of glistening ice cream, slowly on the verge of dripping.

“I honestly don’t know. We did our thing, right? And then I asked him if he’s coming back to Korea or not and he said ‘soon’. I don’t know what I feel about him and why I feel this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I have to say goodbye to him after texting or calling him.” You pause. “I knew I was over him like a month ago, then where the hell are these feelings coming from?”

“Do you still love him?”

“I don’t feel butterflies the way I felt back then but…” Your gulp hard. “but I do want him to be around for some reason, to fill that hole he left in my heart when we parted ways.”

“Looks like you need to get laid.”

“Jisoo!” Wendy gasps. You start laughing making the two of them burst out in chuckles too.

“What? I’m right, ____ needs to be dicked down to forget the dick that keeps her on hold after phone fucking her.” Jisoo shrugs. Wendy snorts and looks away. She is indeed right, you think.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

You step out of the elevator and make your way towards your front door followed by a confused Wendy as she fishes out the apartment keys from her bag. Your spot a parcel sitting idly at your doorstep making you furrow your brows.

“Did you order something Wen?” you turn to look at her. She drops her gaze to the package and reads the address out loud, “it’s addressed to you.”

Puzzled, you pick it up and inspect it closely while Wendy jams in the key and unlocks the apartment door. There’s no sender’s address written. You discard your blazer and search for a knife in the kitchen. Wendy watches you while she takes out vegetables from the fridge to cook dinner. You quickly scramble to the living room with the knife and package in either of your hands, anticipation getting the best of you.

You stab the tape and rip it open. A baby pink coloured cushion is revealed when you open it. Running your fingers on it, you feel the silk fabric warm your skin. You find a piece of paper folded at the bottom as you fumble with the contents in the box, heaps of paper cuttings are scattered inside. You pick it up and unfold it. A short note is printed that says,

♡

Dear ____,

Your skin is the only touch I crave.

Your name is a fraction on my body that I want to engrave.

Your sweet nectar is all I want to taste.

Not a single bit of you I want to waste.

Watching you mound a pillow oh-so ravenously,

All I want to do is make love to you every day mercilessly.

Yours

Edgar Allen Poe.

♡

You freeze, and low-key cringe at the pathetic and cheesy piece of poetry.

“What is it ____?” Wendy probes from the Kitchen.

“Uh-oh nothing,” you stutter. “I mean, uh, I ordered this cushion for my bed.” You pick up the pillow and show it to her.

“Looks boujee, where’d you get it from?”

“Uh there’s this website… I’ll just send you the link.” You lie again. Your phone dings and making alarms ring in your head. You start walking towards your room. “I’m feeling tired Wen, going to take some rest.”

She looks at you with softened eyes, “alright, I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

But she has known you long enough to catch your white lie.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

 K00kies97 : wHAT DO U MEAN BY THAT

You : I said I received a pillow and a disturbing note from this EAP guy. Followed by a text.

K00kies97 : send me the note and text

You : I can’t, it’s embarrassing

K00kies97 : are u seriusly worried about that rn

You : alright

K00kies97 : waiting

You muster up the courage to send him the note and the message that said “Did you like it doll? -EAP”

K00kies97 : what does he mean by watching u mound a pillow

K00kies97 : dudes sick

K00kies97 : 😐

K00kies97 : wAIT

K00kies97 : you

K00kies97 : had $3X with a pillow

Kookies97 : wow

You : that’s not the point.

You : STOP

You : this is why I didn’t want to send it!

K00kies97 : okok

K00kies97 : check if theres hidden cameras or something in the pillow

You : your mind

K00kies97 :

K00kies97 : you can thank me later luv

You : ok luv

You : boy have I missed you XD

K00kies97 : have u

You : did I stutter?

K00kies97 : okok

You : ok so I checked it and no it’s just a simple pillow…

You : looks very expensive though

K00kies97 : 😐

K00kies97 : theres a stalker on the loose and this is what u care about

You : well I’m broke and this is fancy so yeah maybe I do care about it a little

K00kies97 : so if ur stalker asks u out on a date would u date him

You : no I would prefer to live

K00kies97 : really tho would u

You : why are you so interested? are you my stalker?

K00kies97 : wHAT

K00kies97 : NO

You : haha just kidding

You don’t get a reply after that. You like to think that he’s busy. That’s the reasoning you give yourself when he keeps going offline abruptly without any notice or replies. However, it feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, you needed to tell someone about this. You cannot share it with Wendy or Jisoo because they will get unnecessarily worried, would probably end up giving you the talk. And they didn’t even support you communicating with K00kies97 in the first place, so they will probably start an intervention. You don’t want that. But the problem at hand, this Edgar Allen Poe who wants to, god forbid, do wild things to you, is still pending.

How will you get out of this one?

⤚ ✵ ⤙

“Good morning sweetie,” Wendy bemuses. “You woke up quite early?”

“Yeah I have an early class with professor Brown.” You pick up a banana and gently peel it. Wendy studies you while you stride across the room, picking up necessary items for today and shoving it in your bag. “Why are you so early?”

“I have started this workout challenge by Chloe Ting so I thought why not do it first thing in the morning?”

“That’s awesome Wen. Send me the link, we can do it together.”

“Sure,” she fishes out her phone. “Oh, and by the way,” she starts, catching your attention back to her while you munch on a second banana. “I’ll be staying at Hobi’s place tonight so don’t wait for me for dinner… You’ll be okay with that, right?”

“Of course, why’d you ask?” you enquire nervously.

“It’s just… You’ve been acting a bit weird lately.”

Your face drops and you pause for a second to think about the perfect excuse. “No, no it’s just some stress related to studies and the fact that we’re graduating this year.” You lie, fiddling with your bag’s shoulder strap; eyes on the ground. “But you know what? Screw it, we should have a girls’ night out soon.”

“Absolutely!” she widely grins at you. “And ____, I wanted to talk about some- oh no, that’s no. I’m just- My brain isn’t working right now, go now! You’ll be late for class.”

“Alright then, gotta go. Bye Wen.” You wave at her and open the front door of your shared apartment. You stumble across a huge pile of cardboard boxes covered in bubble wrap. Two men carrying more luggage past your flat and into the next door. Must be new neighbours, you think.

Hopefully, they’re nice.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

Sitting in the cafeteria you scratch Jisoo’s arm to catch her attention even as she’s consumed by her smartphone. “I need attention Soosoo.”

“But I won’t give it to you.” She makes a funny face. “Shoo shoo.”

“I’m not a dog.” You poke her again. This time with more intensity.

“Fine then, you’re a stinky skunk.” She smiles. You’re not sure whether it’s because of your childish bickering or her phone.

“Then you’re a… You’re a…” You think hard. “Ah! You’re a Hoatzin!”

“What the fuck is that?” She looks at you blankly.

“It’s a stinky tropical bird found in Amazon and Orinoco Delta in South America. The Stink Bird gets its charming name because of its digestive system. It’s the only bird in the world that lives almost entirely on a diet of leaves. It uses bacterial fermenta-“

“YAH! Did I ask you to be an encyclopaedia?”

“You asked what it was,” you mumble. “So, I answered.”

“When I ask you what’s your name, do you also give me your social security number?”

“No.” She has a point; she always has a point. And she’s always right. If only you could switch bodies with Jisoo for the rest of your life, it would be so pleasant to live.

“Hey, did you see that hot guy next door that moved in today?” Wendy joins in the conversation with a topic of her own.

“What hot guy?” Jisoo asks dryly, her eyes on her phone – typing away.

“A guy moved in next door to our place,” Wendy says cheerfully. “He has got thick thighs and arms, he’s ripped. Thought I’d say hi but by that time he was gone, maybe to pick more stuffs. He was hot.”

“Do I need to remind you about Hoseok?”

“Hmm, Wendy?”

“Well, no man can ever come par with him. He’s the man of mans. He’s my man.”

“Aww, that was so heartfelt,” Jisoo fake sobs. “Now about the hot guy, is he bang-able?”

“Pfft, undeniably.”

Wendy and Jisoo peep at you at the same time, an evil grin plastered on their faces. You know what this means but you pretend to be dumbfounded. You look back at them with a confused look.

Jisoo starts, “look ____, on a normal day I wouldn’t say this but god wants you to be happy. You are being delivered with opportunity on a silver platter. It’s high time you take your shot. Bang that thighland like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Jeez Soo, do you have no filter?” Wendy snorts. “But she’s right. ____, it’s your time to shine on him… Or under him. Whatever you like.”

You cover your face in your hands while you think about your outrageous friends telling you to do outrageous things. If you’re being honest, you don’t hate the idea. In fact, you might as well take a ride on that thighland.

“Hmm, I might take you up on that.”

You replay your conversation with your best friends while returning home. It brings a smile on your face. The lift opens, making you make eye contact with a pair of russet brown eyes. He nervously runs his fingers through his now-ash blonde hair. He beams at you. Your heart skips a beat as you see Park Jimin reared on your flat’s doorframe; waiting just for you.

⌧⌧⌧

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Genyen/Shawn SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Genyen is a big fan of lingering eye contact and touches - he holds his partner's gaze while in conversation and does little things like slowly trailing his fingertips across the small of their back when he walks past.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

This guy is a shitty friend - he's a scammer, so it will take someone with perseverance that's able to see the good in him to be a genuine friend. HE CAN CHANGE.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Genyen loves to be close, being wrapped around his partner is his ideal scenario.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Genyen is not domestic and has no desire to settle - he's constantly grifting and has a whole world to explore - why would he ever shackle himself?

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Clean out their bank account and ghost.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Yeah, that's never happening.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

More sensual than gentle - everything is with the aim of getting into his partner's pants, so he knows just what to say and where/how to touch.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Genyen enjoys closeness, so appreciates the physicality of wrapping his arms around another person and pressing his body close to theirs.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Yeah, that's not happening. Will get around it by saying things like "I appreciate you" "You have a beautiful soul" "I admire you" etc.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not jealous at all, he's far too relaxed and unbothered for that sort of nonsense.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Slow and sloppy. Enjoys kissing his partner's neck. Goes feral if they kiss along his jawline.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Genyen is nice to children, but doesn't want ones of his own.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Yoga and him pretzling his partner into some overly complex position to do the deed.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Going through daily affirmations and then back into another ridiculous pretzel position.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Everything this man says about himself is a lie - his partner will know nothing about him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Cool, calm and collected, 'cause he's a sly little fucker.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He'll absolutely remember your ATM pin, memorable words, mother's maiden name, date of birth, passwords, etc.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He doesn't have one - he knows he's not in it for the long haul, so there's no point in making memories.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He's not protective at all, he's not violent and wouldn't expect his partner to be protective of him either.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Zero effort made by this man. He's a "live in the moment" type of guy, that's "above material gestures". Basically, he's a wasteman.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Stealing, fraud, scamming, lying.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not particularly, keeps his hair buzzed, but that's it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No, everyone's disposable to this guy.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

This man is a gaslight extraordinaire. "I saw you going through my purse earlier." "No, you didn't, you saw me tidying it away for you. How will you ever achieve true enlightenment if you're always making accusations?"

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Commitment. Feeling obligated.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps really soundly, despite all his misdeeds - this man has no conscience.

[louweasleymalfoy]

Masterlist

•••

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Draco is incredibly affectionate, but he’ll show it differently depending on context. In general, his affection comes in just wanting to be around you—he craves closeness with you, even if he’s not touching you.

Touching you is the best, though. He’s a fan of small bits of PDA: when you’re out together, he’s always holding your hand, or touching your arm or the small of your back or maybe – on occasion – your ass. (Just little grazes that make his eyes shine and your stomach flip.) Probably some little kisses here and there, if you have a moment alone. If he sees another guy looking at you, he'll probably make out with you in public.

But there are also moments where the both of you think PDA isn’t appropriate. Then it’s all about soft looks and smiles, finding ways to bring you into a conversation, things like that. Just showing you that you’re on his mind even if he can’t hold you like he’d like to.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Let's be honest, you guys didn't really start on good terms. You guys met at the train, the both of you are pure-blooded Slytherins, and when everyone thought you guys would immediately get along you just had to prove them wrong. Both of you are competitive, always trying to be better than the other.

The moment the two of you realized your feelings for each other was in 4th year, earning sighs of relief from the Slytherin gang.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Does Draco like to cuddle? Yes yes absolutely yes. This man loves cuddling, especially after a long day. He loves to curl up with you on his bed and hold you close, maybe with your head tucked under his chin. He’ll give you soft kisses while he holds you, on your temple or your cheek or your neck and they’re not even intended to steer things toward a make-out or sex, unless you decide to take it there. (Sometimes he decides but if he does it’s uh pretty obvious.)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down?)

DEFINITELY. Draco is ready to settle down when it comes to you. He loves you so much that he already wants to marry you, you had to remind him that the both of you are still at school tho.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

So here’s the thing about Draco. He's fallen for you, HARD. The problem is that, if he’s the one initiating a break-up, it hits him hard. He would never even think about ending things with you. He loves you too much for that. Although sometimes he worries that you might leave him for someone else, you reassure him that it will never happen.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I've stated before, he loves you so much that he wants to marry you already. He never thought there'd be a day that he'd think about stuff like this and yet here we are. Is he nervous about it tho? Honestly, yes. Who doesn't? But the thing is, whenever he takes a look at you all the worries go away and just knows he's ready.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

This softy! is so gentle!! The biggest exception is if he sees you after a longer separation – this might be a summer break but it also might just be something like one of you having A LOT of homework that keeps you from being with each other when he rather be hanging out together – he needs to be all over you and he might be rougher, then—rougher hugs, kisses, everything.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Draco is a frequent and enthusiastic hugger. Hugs from Draco are him pulling you close and burying his face in your neck and luxuriating in the smell of you. Hugs from Draco are him nudging his forehead against yours and maybe bumping your nose while he leans in to give you a kiss.

Hugs from Draco are usually your first cue if something’s wrong, too—you’ll get to his dorm and find him sitting on the bed and he’ll pull you into his arms and you’ll feel in the way he holds you that he had a really shit day.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Like when he knows that he wants to settle down with you, Draco will say, “I love you,” pretty much as soon as he knows. He’s bursting with it and he’s gotta get it out. He’ll be a bit disappointed if you’re not ready to say it back, but he doesn’t take it personally because he knows he kinda falls hard and fast.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

This man gets jealous. It's not that he doesn't trust you, he just doesn't trust other guys. If a guy looks at you for too long, you can count on Draco giving them a death glare. Does he maybe give you a particularly emphatic kiss after someone tries to flirt with you? Perhaps, but it’s more because he revels in the fact that he gets to do that when no one else does.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Draco kisses your lips like he has nowhere else like he needs to be. Slow, deep kisses all about savoring the taste of you, the feeling of you close to him.

He kisses your neck playfully, teeth nipping over your skin and scattering the occasional hickey because he can’t resist.

He kisses your breasts, your stomach, your thighs when he’s ravenous for you, when he’s desperate to wind you up.

And where does Draco want to be kissed? Obviously he loves when you have your mouth on his because then he can be tasting you, too, but oh, does he love this one spot on his neck right below his jaw. You kiss and suck there and he downright whimpers if he wasn’t expecting it (and sometimes even if he was expecting it).

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Draco Malfoy doesn't really have experience on taking care of children— he's more of a picking on children type of guy. So when you and Draco spent one summer break together and you were asked to babysit your niece, Draco was worried. He’s a bit awkward at first but after seeing how you interact with them, the tension would start to melt away and he relaxed around them.

After watching you interact with babies, he would start to imagine having a baby with you and he realizes how much he wants kids with you.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are spent with each other in his dorm. The both of you just enjoying your time with each other before you get ready for the day. It was these mornings together that reminded him of the love the two of you have for each other and how important you are in his life.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are often spent cuddling and catching each other up on their days. Basically quality time is the primary love language of most evenings (combined as always with touch because again—super cuddly man). Then probably once a week you’ll go out either on a date or to hang with friends.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It took some time for him to open up. He loves you and trusts you very much but he was scared of how you'd react. He's not really used to all the "talking about his feelings" type of thing since he didn't really grow up in a homey environment but over time, he started telling you things and he felt better and lucky to have you in his life.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He does have a temper but not with you. He’s very patient and calm when it comes to you. He never wants to upset and anger you. When you two would fight, he felt like it was all his fault and he would try to make it up to you only for you to apologize too and remind him that it wasn’t all his fault.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembering little details that you share with him is definitely one of the ways that he shows interest in you at first. But while he makes a particular point of it at first, he is still quite good at it in general.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment was your first kiss. It was the happiest he ever felt, and he would always remember the perfection of that moment

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is super protective. Whenever the two of you go out, he doesn't take his eyes off of you just because he doesn't want anything to happen to you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Oh he would DEFINITELY spoil the sht out of you. He would definitely put a lot of thought into gifts and anniversaries since he's really rich. Sometimes, he would randomly show up in your dorm with a gift in hand — claiming that it's a gift for you just because he wants to give you one and although you appreciate the gesture, you had to tell him to not waste his money on stuff. Of course he promised to stop buying things for you but he never did and continued to shower you with gifts.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Walks with your hand in his. Oh and cuddling you of course.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

He LOVES to show you off. He's so proud of your accomplishments and believes that you'll achieve your dream one day.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He’s terrified of losing you, knowing that he would never be whole again if he lost you. He couldn’t even bear the thought of a life without you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Draco is— well how do I even say this. Draco can be mean at most times but the thing is, in his eyes you're an exception. There was this one time when he was having a bad day and Theo was aking him something and he just glared at Theo but when you came in and asked the same question, he answered you patiently, his eyes softening, leaving Theo to have his jaw dropped.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He HATES ferrets and I don't even have to explain why. There was this one time where Blaise showed him a ferret and he just ran away from the both of you.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Draco is absolutely that partner who ends up encroaching more and more on your space over the course of the night. And you want to find it cute, you do, because it’s really about him trying to cuddle with you but also it means you frequently wake up for the morning and he has two thirds of the bed to himself. You’re alright with it though because once he gets up, you’re able to spread out for a little bit. (And maybe roll over into the spot where he was sleeping so you can doze with the smell of him still lingering.)

[astroyongie]

hi could you do baekhyun a to z ?🐧🐧🐧🧡🧡 sfw

A To Z Analysis: SFW

Baekhyun

A = Affection

He is moderately affectionate with his partner. He has his own routine of kisses and hugs, and sometimes he would stop at that and other times develop his affections

B = Best friend

He is the protective, forward leading and advicer type of friend. The one you call when you need someone to walk you home at night

C = Cuddles

Quite cuddly but only with you and only in certain situations. He reserves his cuddles for the alone times

D = Domestic

He does his best. He usually cleans after himself, keep things organized to the minimal and he doesn't mind to help around the house

E = Ending

Breaking up is complicated in Baekhyun's point of view, but he will keep a friendship or a good relationship with his ex if possible

F = Fiance(e)

Commitment doesn't scares him that much he is just scared of people's opinion and reaction toward it. He wants to be happy and have a strong relationship

G = Gentle

Very gentle, both physically and emotionally. He likes to tease but he is usually very careful with words and actions

H = Hugs

He likes hugs and he likes hugging but again it's reserved to the ones he loves

I = I love you

He probably says the big words a few months after starting to date you. He takes his time usually

J = Jealousy

He can get easily workout up. He usually trusts you but he can get easily jealous when people don't respect boundaries

K = Kisses

His kisses are dervish, strong and very stable. He moves his lips sensually and strongly

L = Little ones

He loves children even if he doubts he will ever be able to take good care of them

M = Morning

Morning are rather quite, soft surrounded or a warm breakfast

N = Night

There's a lot of talk and cuddles usually just before sleeping

O = Open

Baekhyun is someone honest with his feelings and he would open easily to you, and slowly he would give more and more. He is an open book to those he love

P = Patience 

He is very patient, but he also has his limit. You know he is angry when his voice tone changes, when he starts chuckling lowly and being passive aggressive

Q = Quizzes

He remembers a lot about you. Maybe not the slam details but the big stuff is easy pease

R = Remember

His favorite moments are the nights you stay both wide awake to share your heart. He also loves the moments where you both laughs until your tummy hurts

S = Security

Extremely protective and jealous of you, so Baekhyun always has a hand over your waist, and you around him.

T = Try

He puts quite some effort and he tries his best to show his love through such actions. Usually buys you very expensive gifts in anniversaries

U = Ugly

He can't wash the dishes properly, he forgets to do basic things and he is always late

V = Vanity

He cares about his face and his skin but he has no trouble to be bare face in front of his lover

W = Whole

He would feel incomplete without his partner to a point where it can make him physically ill

X = Xtra

He is a pillow princess and he just loves to spend time with his partner to talk about life in general. Also slightly possessive

Y = Yuck

He doesn't like when his partner is rude, or when they use bad words or have bad manners in general

Z = Zzz

He sleeps on his sides, snores softly and usually get's in a ball like position

[espritmuse]

—𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄—

⌕ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Lara Tybur from aot (x reader)

⌕ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut warning, mention of mommy kink, cum, hair pulling, semi public sex…

⌕ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hi guys <3 since you may know, Lara tybur is my new obsession… she’s just so pretty and mysterious, I’m in love. I always wanted to do a nsfw alphabet and I don’t think anyone made one about her already so here I am!! Reblogs are very much welcomed since she isn’t very popular in the fandom :(

—𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓 - 𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐀—

⊹₊ ⋆A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The sweetest creature. She always takes her time with you, no matter who was in charge during intercourse. Most of the time, she runs a bath for both of you; she then sits behind you, her hands all over your chest protectively. She takes her time and helps you wash your delicate skin. After that she just goes to sleep on her bed, her body all over yours or, sometimes, she holds you in her sleep, just to feel even closer to your warmth.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Lara’s favourite part of her body is probably her breasts. They’re very soft, plump, and delicate, painted by the angels themselves. She loves when she finds the tip of your tongue all over them, your lips wrapped around her pink nipple, adoration in your eyes.

She probably prefers your face. Out of everything. She just loves it, the way your lips curve into a small smile at anytime of the day, the way your eyes shines when you notice something adorable, or even the way your gaze gets lost in hers whenever she’s talking about anything.

But also the way your features feels under her touch when her core is all over your face, when her mouth is agape, eyes watering thanks to the stimulation you’re giving her, legs fragile and almost trembling.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She’s such a dirty girl but she hides it very well. So, at first, she’ll pretend to hate it when you come undone all over her stomach but, too bad for her you had already noticed a glimpse of excitation in her eyes. Oh she loves it. So much. That’s why she adores when you ride her face, she can then have your wet pussy all over her mouth without any complaints.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Public sex. Or at least, semi-public sex. She loves the thrill of it, the excitation of feeling like you both could get caught in a minute if anyone opened the door, if anyone decided to turn in this poorly lit street… maybe that all she wants, someone seeing you and her like that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I don’t think she’s very experimented. Her family is one of a kind. They're very strict and severe about her education and forbade her any misbehaving, including romantic relationships. But it’s for the better, now you can experiment everything with her.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Face riding like I previously explained, she loves feeling your entirety beneath her, feeling your warmth and all your wetness, being the cause of your pleasure. The view is pretty nice too.

Missionary, this goes without saying, very basic but she just loves feeling you close to her at such a vulnerable moment, whenever it’s you or her on top. She may have a preference for when she’s under you, just so she can tease you more, caress your cheeks with her fingers or even digs her nails into your back when her pleasure is too much for her.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Serious, as always. But she likes when you tease her a bit and try to make her smile and laugh. Okay maybe she isn’t that serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Well trimmed. I think that she doesn’t really like when there is nothing down there but she doesn’t like a bush either. So yeah, she keeps it well trimmed and obliviously her hairs are dark brown/ blackish.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

She loves whispering sweet nothings in your ears. Little “I love you”s hidden between two loud whimpers… Her lips are always all over yours, and her hand is always finding its way to yours too. She just feels better like that, her baby close to her.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oh, she used to do that a lot in her little bedroom. Since daddy and mommy never allowed her to do anything, she has to do it herself. But that was before you started sneaking in her room at night without her family knowing. Now she doesn’t need her fingers anymore, why would she? Yours are so much better.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Hair pulling, she’s always wearing this stupid bun, so you just love ripping off the hairband and grabbing all of her long dark brown locks in your fist when you hit from the back.

Mommy kink. The word probably slipped out of your mouth and you thought that it was the most embarrassing shit ever. No. She just smiled and continued what she was doing, calling you her little baby in your ears.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed. Yeah it’s basic but it’s her favourite. Comfy and convenient, any positions or almost are possible and she just feels better there. Or just her bedroom in general because she likes when you fuck her on her desk when she’s overworking <3

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Her motivation is the little praises that escape your mouth when she fucks you to good as well as your melodious moans when she goes down on you. Nothing better for her than hearing all of that, feeling that she’s pleasuring you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anal. I really don’t think she’s into that at all. Or she’ll try maybe, if you really want to, but just once. An anal plug is her limit.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oh God she loves giving. She’s very good with her mouth too, she relies on your pretty noises to know if she’s doing good or not. But don’t get her wrong, she also loves when you do it on her too, especially when you use both of your tongue and fingers.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Most of the time, she is slow and sensual. She likes taking her time on you, touching all of your soft skin, admiring your face when she’s on top…

But if you’re a bit rougher on her, she doesn’t really mind either, in fact, she secretly loves it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

She isn’t a big fan of them to be honest, like I said she prefers when things are unhurried, sensual etc.

It doesn’t mean that she’s totally against it tho, she loves when you grab her thighs to put them on the kitchen counter before playing a bit with her body <3

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Except for public/semi-public sex, I don’t think that she’ll do too many risky things. Maybe she likes when you place your hand around her neck too.

Oh God yes and also she secretly likes when you threaten her to say everything to her parents (the fact that you sneak in her bedroom at night just to fuck her stupid) if she isn’t obedient. She’s a very well behaved puppy after that !

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

She can last very long, we may forget it but she’s very well trained, she’s a Titan after all… So yeah no stamina problem for her, she can go for a lot of rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You’re the one who introduced toys to her, showing her proudly your pretty collection. She loves them, really. Her favourite is the strap on, of course, especially when you use it on her little pussy, she’s so sweet, all delighted to open her legs for you <3 She also likes using it on you, she likes penetrating you with a dildo when she eats you out.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She likes to tease but not that much. Most of the time she’s doing it very very discreetly in public, sitting on your lap and moving her thighs together slowly just for your to notice, when she bends down to pick up something she has “accidentally” dropped just in front of you just so you can see the curve of her ass and a bit of her white lace lingerie.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Aw, she was so timid at first, too embarrassed to make any noises in front of you. But after some nights, you told her and taught her that it was okay, that you really wanted to hear her pretty moans. She was very happy and now, you have to be the one to remind her to keep quiet when she’s too loud.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

She loves when you fuck her with her clothes on. When you just lift her skirt and slid her pantie to the side because you’re too excited to penetrate her. Bonus point if you do that on the wall, floor or anything that isn’t her bed.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I imagine her with very plump and round breasts, roseate nipples, and a toned stomach thanks to all of the training she had to go through. She doesn’t have a tiny pussy tho, it’s very cute, her inner lips are a bit long, only half covered by her outer lips.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not too high nor too low honestly. She’s kinda needy when you don’t touch her for more than two days tho. She just loves doing it with you, she can’t get enough.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Very very fast, once both of your bodies clean, she goes back to her bed and falls asleep. If you’re staying for the night (she always begs you to and honestly, how could you resist her.) she’ll try to stay awake a bit longer just so she can talk to you before you leave her the next morning.