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yuqiyu · 2 years ago

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Guitar Lessons (Eddie Munson x F!Reader)

♡ part 2

Summary: During one of your hangouts at Eddie's trailer, he offers to give you some guitar lessons.

Word Count: 6.6k

Tags: NSFW, sexual content, cunnilingus, face riding, making out, eating out, fluff, friends to lovers (kinda), slight angst, dramatic reader, no use of y/n

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“How long have you played?” you ask as you graze your fingers over the body of the guitar. It’s smooth and cold, the design fitting right in with Eddie’s aesthetic.

He’s looking at you cutely, leaning back on his forearms against the bed. There’s a sparkle in his doe eyes as he shifts a bit.

“So I see you’ve met the lady of the house,” he says, a slight lilt to his voice. “Go on, take her down.”

As you carefully step over a messy pile of cassette tapes beside another pile of clothes, Eddie makes a grabbing motion and mumbles a That’s right, come to papa. You stifle a laugh, releasing a snort in the process. He shoots a look at you, fully defensive.

Once the guitar (or the love of his life, as he’d say) is in his hands, it fits perfectly like a puzzle piece on his body. His neck is slightly craned over it. You think he’s looking at the strings, but as you move closer, his eyes are closed.

He starts plucking out a couple chords, a sweet melody completely contradicting the visuals you are being fed. You begin to close your eyes as well, allowing the music to flow through the both of you. It sounds beautiful despite not being hooked up to an amp.

It has been only a couple of months since you first met Eddie in the hallway between classes. You recall a head full of messy curls hanging over what you thought were interesting choices in an outfit. Girls were avoiding him left and right as he picked up the remnants of his stuff off the ground after a couple jocks had so kindly knocked them out of his hands.

When you had picked up a notebook that had fallen behind him, a few loose papers with unfamiliar charts and symbols fell out. You plucked them up for a closer study.

“Just getting ready for the Satanic rituals this Thursday,” he mused. You looked up in surprise.

He was a very pretty man, his hair framing his slim face surprisingly well. His large eyes bore into you, and you swore you could get lost in the dark abyss behind them.

“What?”

“Sorry, bad joke.” He looked at you sheepishly, then to the notebook in your hands.

“Right, sorry.” Even after you quickly handed it back to him, he continued staring at you, amused.

“Are you new?”

You shuffled your feet, feeling even more awkward than you already were.

“Yeah.” And the rest was history.

You open your eyes when the music stops. Eddie is staring at you with a crooked grin, inches away from your face.

“Jeez, you’re so creepy,” you laugh as you push him off. Ever the drama queen he is, he falls backward onto the bed limply, the guitar following suit. His hands are clutched over his heart as his face fakes a wounded expression.

“I just gave you the best serenade you will ever hear in your life, and this is how you repay me?” He all but shrieks at you as you continue slapping at his arm.

“ Ever? That’s such a loaded statement, Eddie. You haven’t even answered my question.”

He jumps back up, then pauses for a beat. “I don’t know, my whole life I guess,” he shrugs.

You stare back at the guitar, still being held snugly in his arms. There was no way to stop the idea of you being there instead, but you shake yourself out of it.

“That’s pretty cool, though. I don’t know how to play any instruments.” You copy his pose from earlier, supporting yourself up by your forearms. He twists his neck towards you, that beautiful damn smile beaming a hundred miles per hour your way.

“Really,” he questions, dragging out the word playfully. “How about I, the greatest guitarist ever, teach you some new things.”

“Again, such a loaded statement, but okay. Hit me.”

The next hour or so is not exactly what you were expecting. He has an old acoustic guitar hiding somewhere in his closet (which he searches for with difficulty, under more piles of items) and has you test the waters on it. With the pleasant surprise of Eddie literally wrapping your back with his arms, moving your fingers to the right formations, you are basically floating on cloud nine.

He is a demonstrations type of guy, not an I-will-show-you-first-then-you-play kind of way, but in an I-will-wrap-my-gorgeous-hands-around-yours kind of way. This shouldn’t have shocked you, ever since he cupped his hands over yours just to help you roll some dice when you hesitated during a campaign, at least. You often took sneaky glances at his fingers after that day, how could you help it? The day he finds out about your secret hand fetish will be the day you change your identity, because not only would it feed his already inflated ego, he would never let you live it down. He already has so much ammo against you, and you dread that only one more will put you six feet under.

Eddie was exceedingly patient with you in teaching the strings and the chords, even though you had trouble memorizing where to place your fingers. You wish you could say the same about previous teachers, who were truly wicked demons compared to him.

You let yourself falter and lean backwards, just enough for Eddie to notice. He suddenly peels your fingers off the instrument and gives little kisses to them.

You yank your hand back in surprise and squeak out, “Eddie!”

His stupid antics always make it hard for you not to fall for him. It sometimes feels like he does it on purpose, like he means to fuel your feelings even more.

“Just thought they needed some healing kissies ,” he replies, his pitch increasing at the end to mock you.

“Kissies are only for couples,” you snapped, unable to process anything but the imprint of his soft lips on your hands. You hope you don’t look as dazed as you feel right now.

He simply ignores you and strokes the neck of the guitar, still wrapped comfortably around you. “You’re a natural at this, y’know? Maybe you should get some real lessons.”

“Yeah, right. It sure doesn’t feel like it.” You give your hands a good shake, loosening all the muscles as you sighed in relief. Dark, red lines were etched deep into your fingertips. Looking at them only made the pain feel even more real.

He grabs them again, gripping them tightly. “Hey—hey, careful! These hands have unknown potential! You could be a god with these.”

“‘Thought you said you were the best out there,” you smile, nudging him in the ribs. He feigns offense.

“I am, but if there’s gonna be someone better out there, I’d rather it be you!”

You can only roll your eyes at him as he drops his chin on your shoulder. He must be bored out of his mind right now, so you push for a new topic.

“Why are you being so touchy today,” you tease, turning to look at his face. It is much easier now to admire his features now that he is sitting so close to you. His eyes are glazed over. “Wait a minute—were you high this whole time?”

He gives you a guilty look.

You aren’t sure if you should be impressed that he was able to teach you so well under the influence, or if you should be disappointed. His affections to you often occurred under one and only one circumstance, and that was when he was ridiculously high. He must’ve smoked more than usual. The thought hits you like a crushing weight, smashing through your heart and sinking down to your stomach in just under five seconds. You want to throw your head into your palms and cringe at how hopeful you were, even though you’re already used to the reality of this godforsaken friendship. But then the sinking feeling falls even deeper into your pit when you realized something might’ve happened to make him reach for his stash like this.

“Did something happen today?” You don’t mean to probe, but even stoner Eddie has his limits for most of the time. Sometimes the overcompensation is a little too obvious, even for your obliviousness.

His head is still lolling on your shoulder, though this time there’s a faraway look in his eyes. There’s a silence that hangs thick for what felt like forever, until you feel his chin shift, trying to find a more comfortable spot to sulk in.

“Don’t tell me it’s girl troubles,” you huff out. The thought of it already has the heat rising to your cheeks. It’s one thing to have an unrequited crush, but to see said crush pining for another person was simply soul-crushing.

He must notice your expression, because he looks at you amusingly. “Why? Would you be jealous?”

When you shoot him a deadly look, he only giggles and reassures you. You’ve heard this speech about a million times already: you’re his best girl-friend and no one can ever beat you. To be honest, it’s hard to be beat when you’re his only girl-friend, but hey, it’s still a win. If he has to constantly remind you, though, maybe you’re being too obvious. You remind yourself to tone it down around him.

Eddie suddenly jumps off the bed with renewed vigor and swipes the guitar from your arms before laying it carefully somewhere in the closet, then plops back down beside you. His face is serious, the playful energy lasting only for a few seconds.

You ease yourself down slowly, lying on your side as you soak in the sight before you. His arms are tucked under his head, ankles crossed at the edge of the bed.

“I only ask because I—”

“ Because you care. I know.”

You give him a minute. There are only the sounds of your breaths mingling with each other, and if you relaxed enough, you swear you’d be able to hear his heartbeat. You’d usually miss the peace you had prior to meeting Eddie, but now, when there is no sound of his annoying voice or music or anything , it makes you nervous. Because a vulnerable Eddie is a sad Eddie. There was no easy way to learn this.

“I heard you went on a date with Harrington,” he starts. His hands fly in the air as he continues. You can’t help but stare at the glint his rings give off in the different angles. “Went to the mall and everything.”

It’s your turn to look amused. When he catches it, he presses a finger to your lips, which only causes you to snicker. “How could you ignore me for some jock. Is that why you didn’t pick up my calls that day?” He has such an intense expression, backed up by the furrowing of his brows now hiding under his bangs. He seems so distressed, although you can’t help but smile at him in silence.

“Is that all you have to say to me?” He’s practically begging for response at this point.

“First of all, Munson,” you emphasize as he winces at the demotion of his name. It was easy to tell when you don’t feel like humoring him. Ever since the beginning, it had always been Eddie . When you had tried calling him anything else, it just didn’t feel right in those moments. And it still doesn’t. “It wasn’t a date. It was a double date!”

His jaw drops as he rubs a hand over his face, having expected you to at least try to comfort him, like you usually would. It was shameful, honestly, the way you would scramble to mend his sorrow every single time. You pause for a second, letting the moment really sink in before continuing again. This is payback , you thought. “It was Nancy, Steve, Robin, and me. It wasn’t really a date, Eddie. I don’t know why you’d even care.”

There’s a slight quiver in your voice when you articulate the last line, but you hope he doesn’t notice. However, it seems like that’s the only thing he noticed.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, missy, but I care a whole lot when my only friend in the whole wide world goes missing when I need her most.” The glazed look in his eyes hasn’t faded, but the seriousness is still there. You almost wish you aren’t still having this conversation because it only breaks your heart further the more he opens his goddamn mouth about friendship this, friendship that. But your love and concern for him overshadows it all, and you want to smack yourself over the head for that.

You take a deep breath, inhaling all the different scents of Eddie (if that was even humanly possible) and ponder your thoughts. You like to do it because It keeps him on his toes, you remember, as if he’s always hanging onto your every word, inching closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.

You allow your eyes to wander across his walls, taking in the various band posters, and then back onto the guitar. It’s so easy to get sidetracked in the confines of anything related to him, but the more you learn about him, the more you realize he’s just a huge dork who plays fantasy games and the guitar in his free time. He does a great job at keeping the air of mystery around him, though, and you wonder if people actually realized who he truly was, maybe they’d bully him a tiny bit less. That is, if they weren’t so scared of being sacrificed by him. He shakes you out of your conscious slumber with a couple snaps of his fingers in front of your face.

“Hey—are you even listening to me?”

His hand continues waving in your face for a few more seconds before you swat it away. You’re looking at him with as much sincerity as you could possibly muster. He’s doing the same, though you notice the way the corners of his mouth tug down, like how they usually do whenever you reject one of his hugs.

“Can I level with you?” you ask.

He looks at you strangely, eyebrows raise in question. There’s some clarity to his eyes now, and you feel yourself getting sucked in temporarily. His Adam’s apple bobs as he gulps thickly. He nods.

“I couldn’t give less of a shit about your love life and who you choose to date, so why should you? ” The words come out with more venom than you mean to, but you couldn’t—no, wouldn’t , take back what you said. Even though you’re lying, it feels good knowing that he at least doesn’t know you have a massive one-sided crush on him. It gives the illusion that you’re in control, and you’d like to keep it that way.

Eddie’s features soften. He looks so hurt, and you can’t bear to look at him for more than two seconds. The room is silent again, though it’s lacking the comfort that usually comes with it. You slowly sit up, and start grabbing your things. Before you leave, he pulls your wrist back. His eyes are pleading.

“It’s still early,” he begins. “If you want to stay longer.” You look sparingly at his face, mostly darting to his bedsheets or the walls. His grip tightens.

“I—um, I’ve got some overdue homework I need to work on.”

He knows you well enough to know that if there was one person he knew that always had their shit together and done on time, it was you. But he lets go, and your heart stumbles because if he had asked you one more time, you would’ve stayed. You guess some things are just not written in the stars, and tonight was one of those things.

He only purses his lips and exhales, “Alright.”

He doesn’t walk you out the door today.

The next time you see him ends up being the following night. He had called the morning of, asking if you wanted to come over for more “guitar lessons.” When you didn’t reply quickly enough for his liking, he simply said, “See you at eight. Sharp, okay, sweetheart?”

Your heart twinges, so you agree.

Eight sneaks up on you before you know it. The night air engulfs you as you rap your knuckles against the Munsons’ trailer door. It rattles violently, so you stop, fearing that one more would completely knock it off the hinges. You hear a familiar voice ring out, welcoming you in.

When you’re inside, you spot Eddie running around chaotically in the small kitchen. Various snacks are being crushed by his arms clutching them close to his chest, and he nearly slams into a table (not without cursing) while tossing them over onto the couch.

He finally sits down among the mess, accidentally on a bag of chips, and it crunches. He makes a butt-shaped hole with the snacks next to himself, then affectionately pats the area and looks at you.

You scooch around and pop open a bag of gummy bears. “We’re starting the movie early today, huh?”

“You gotta return it tomorrow. We can’t have any more distractions now, can we?” He fiddles with the remote, pressing buttons here and there. There’s only static on the TV. He groans and gives it a good few smacks.

“Wow,” you drawl. “Eddie Munson himself, actually remembering due dates, and not even his responsibility? That’s new.” He turns around to retaliate, but is hit by a gummy bear straight to the face. “Bullseye,” you laugh.

He only sighs and walks towards the kitchen. His hand squeezes your thigh on the way and, with an exasperated voice, says, “Be good ‘til I get back.”

The movie ends without another hitch, and it’s not long after that both of you are back in his bedroom.

“So,” he says as he claps his hands together dramatically. “It’s time for lessons by Mr. Munson himself.” He picks up the acoustic guitar and seats himself down next to you on the bed. “Wanna show me what you’ve learned so far?”

“To be honest, not much. Sorry to disappoint, Mr. Munson,” you shrug, taking over and strumming out a few test chords. He wets his lips absentmindedly.

“Well, you seem to remember the C chord, at least,” he nods. “But—” He cups your fingers and shifts them downward. “You’re a bit too high there, sweetheart.”

The touch burns through your skin and sets your mind, body, and heart aflame. It takes you a second to answer. A second too long, is what Eddie thinks.

“Okay…what about my G?” you ask quietly, not trusting yourself to breathe.

“Your G what? G-string or G chord?”

You blink.

He winks.

And your body is at war. The rope inside you tugs between choosing violence or letting yourself melt in his arms. It’s close to betraying you, until you choose fight-or-flight’s third sibling: freeze.

Eddie cackles as he shakes you awake. You feel your consciousness slam back into your body with full force. Your mind is going insane. What did he mean? Does he want to do something? Does he want me ? You’re about to open your mouth, to say Yes! Yes, Eddie, I want you!

“Bad joke. Sorry.”

You wish the moon would become unlatched from whatever science-y, physics-y thing that’s keeping it in orbit and hurl towards Earth and just crush you to death right then and there. How does one recover from this?

Except you do. He spends the next thirty minutes teaching you an easy song that includes the whopping four chords you’ve learned. It goes as smoothly as you hope, until the heat radiating off of Eddie and wafting onto your back is making you uncomfortably sticky.

When you had left the house earlier, you wore tank top with a denim jacket to cover your arms. It wasn’t your best look, but you weren’t trying to impress anyone (more of a self-persuasion, but who’s really checking?). The decision feels like a huge mistake now, because you are definitely not comfortable enough at the moment to let him see your skin like that.

Each touch, each movement, and each breath of Eddie’s fanning over your neck so deliciously gives you more and more confidence as the night moves on. He’s pressing all the right buttons, as if knowingly, and your barrier begins to crack.

You carry on with full composure, as you always have . He gives you a simple task: play at least halfway into the song perfectly. When you do, he leans in, lips slightly brushing your earlobe, and whispers, “Good girl.”

Your face begins to heat up at a rapid rate. Your body, on the other hand, isn’t sure whether it should tense up or relax. Eddie notices and places his hands on your shoulders, giving you quick squeezes sympathetically. It only makes it worse.

Not sure how you did it, but you were able to get the guitar safely on the bed before jumping off of it entirely.

“Wow,” he exhales and simpers. “I just wanted to see if you had a praise kink or so—”

He’s cut short by your glossy eyes and trembling lips. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out, so he waves his hands uselessly.

“What, so I’m just a joke to you?” Your voice betrays you, as much as you attempt to conceal your vulnerability. It sports a matching look on your face. This is it , you think. You lasted only a couple of months after making your first friend at this stupid school, and thinking about it makes you feel ashamed. Somehow, this feels worse than a real break-up.

“I’m—Hey, look at me, please. I’m so sorry.” He’s scrambling to fix his mistake, hands all over you, and eyes frantically searching you for a hint of forgiveness, even if he knows it’s futile.

“Eddie, I need to go. It’s fi—”

“No!” he cries, causing you to flinch. His grip softens on your shoulders, but is still unwaveringly attached. “It’s not fine.”

Even through the thick material of your jacket, the knowledge that he’s still touching you has you squirming painfully. “God, please , stop touching me.”

Now, Eddie’s heart is breaking into a million pieces, and you know it well. Since the first day you met him, you could tell what his love language was. From the way he’d ruffle your hair affectionately after a campaign win, or how he’d pull you into a bone-smashing hug whenever you brought his favorite snack to school, to simply the way his eyes would twinkle right before giving you a first bump every time you parted ways. In a sense, this was a real break-up to him.

His arm slowly slides off of you, with a pained look on his face. He then stares at you expectantly. When you make a move to the side, he reaches out towards you, though not close enough to touch.

“Please don’t go yet. Just—” He closes his eyes and groans against his palms, and you’re sober enough to know it’s not directed at you. If you hadn't felt so terrible, you’d laugh at the way he was repenting. You stare slack-faced at him, and while it’s not the reaction he was hoping for, he takes it as a second chance. “I don’t know why I said that.”

“Like how you don’t know why you said, ‘g-string’ or why you just messed with me all night?” you nearly shouted. It takes a lot of energy to force the sass through your pain, but it shows enough to cause Eddie to shrink within himself. You can’t even feel bad anymore. Maybe this was an overreaction on your part. He’s always been like this, so what is different now? In a way, there is still a part of you that actually does feel bad, but only because you let yourself waste away in your feelings without ever bringing it up to him. There is no way for him to really know how you feel about him without communicating it. Even then, normal friendships aren’t like this. Friends don’t whisper dirty things into each other’s ears. Friends don’t playfully flirt with real sexual tension. So it’s not fair that you have to endure this while he’s the only one having fun.

Eddie, on the other hand, wants to stuff his mouth with his fist. He wants to pull his hair out, he wants to scream into his pillow, but most of all, he wants to hold you and apologize over and over until he’s completely lost his voice. For you, he would grovel as much as you want him to, and to him, that would be nothing if it meant you’d take him back.

His voice cracks when he manages to find the courage to speak again. “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable with my behavior.” He looks at you intently, eyes roaming your face, searching— begging .

You look away, and it scares him. He’s never seen you cry like this, and it’s even worse since he’s the reason why. His arms twitch, and he realizes that that was the last time he’ll ever be that close to you again.

After a million years (according to Eddie), you sigh, “That’s not the issue.” There’s a fierceness to you now, surprising the both of you. You jab a finger at his chest viciously. “My issue with you is that you keep taking my feelings lightly.” His brows furrow, and it only pisses you off even more.

“I like you, you asshole!” There was no point of return. All of that was out the window the moment he crossed a line. Instead of feeling scared or sad, like you thought you would, you were instead enraged with an addicting fury. “And you .” You make a point to jab him especially hard for emphasis. “You have the nerve to mess with me all night long—not to mention even whining about how I should spend every waking moment with you when I already do…and you know what the kicker in all of this was? I did wish I was at the mall with you! I did wish I was on a date with you!”

His forehead is creasing, eyes wide, and mouth pursing. When it finally opens, he breathes out an Oh. And he suddenly he knows how to make things right.

In your complete, utter mess of a breakdown, you don’t realize that you had balled your hands tightly into a fist until you let go, and the searing pain from your nails digging into your palms lets up.

Maybe you were okay with destroying this friendship before, you try to convince yourself, but the regret starts pooling into your belly along with nausea. You’re too ashamed to look at him, yet you also don’t have the courage to move from your spot. So once again, the room is just filled with the sounds of labored breathing and bated breath, both standing in a face-off.

And then you will your legs to move, to run far, far away. But Eddie catches you first, and his face is sloppily smashed against yours as he pulls your lips into his own. Certainly, this is bold, the boldest thing he’s ever done, he’d argue. Still, he’s unable to withdraw because once he has you—your scent, your soft skin, and your gasps keeps him wanting more and more.

It only ends when both of you come up for air, foreheads still glued together as you laugh mirthlessly. “This whole time?” you murmured.

You can feel the smug grin on his lips as he attacks the junction of your neck. You melt against him. “Yeah.” He continues down to your shoulder after pulling your jacket off, his mouth never leaving you. “So, was I right?”

“Hmm?” You couldn’t trust yourself to speak anymore. Somehow, Eddie has gotten you back to his bed, and you feel his necklace glide across your chest coldly, sending little shivers along your spine.

“‘Bout you having a praise kink,” he mumbles. He’s taking his time on a particular spot near your collarbone, making sure to really mark you well.

You’re too embarrassed to reply, so you hope he moves on from it. He doesn’t—worse, he stops. He’s holding himself up with his arms, caging you in, and looks at you mischievously. “Sweetheart, I asked you a question. Don’t go shy on me now. ”

You reach up to press a kiss against him, but he easily flicks you back down like a fly. His brow arches, though he’s still grinning arrogantly.

“Fine, yes, yes, yes, I do.”

“That’s my girl.”

You moan into him when he’s back on your mouth, tongues slow dancing. You still feel hot, but it’s different this time around. It’s more freeing—like you’ve let something go, and now you’re finally able to enjoy it.

Eddie is a much better kisser than you imagined. You’ve thought about how he’d taste and how it’d go, oh absolutely, but this is real . You memorize the way his tongue darts around as if mapping out every part of you, mixed in with the faint smell of cigarettes and pure testosterone.

He’s gripping your chest as he makes his way down and massages it to Hell and back. You can’t help but love how primal you’ve got him, which only turns you on even more.

“I’ve wanted to do many…many… many, ” he accents each word with a wet kiss down your arms. “...unholy things to you since I laid my eyes on you.”

You strip off your top and bra, tossing them to the side with urgency. He only chuckles at your brazenness before giving both of your breasts a firm squeeze. You push him onto the bed and straddle him. “C’mon, Eddie, your turn.” He looks at you incredulously, then his stare turns dark after a blink of an eye. His hands run up and down the sides of your waist, leaving little goosebumps in their wake.

“My, my, who knew you were so forward? All of that innocence…just an act.” He reaches out and captures your chin, firmly holding on as he angles your face around. The cold air drifts against your chest, causing your nipples to perk up. You release a shaky breath and close your eyes, suddenly feeling timid. “No, no, open them for me, sweetheart.”

When you do, you feel him twitch under you, provoking you to ground back down on him. Your eyes are half-lidded, hips rolling. A guttural groan expels from his throat, and he grips you to a standstill.

“Get—ugh, take it off already!” you whine, clawing at his t-shirt.

He’s looking at you with so much lust, yet it’s filled with tenderness; his hands rubbing circles into your own only reaffirming that. After a moment of silence (in which Eddie is aggressively admiring your beauty), he licks his lips and speaks.

“I want you to know that if we continue, this won’t be the last time. There will never— ever be ‘going back to being friends’ or ‘acting normal.’ Because to be frank with you, princess, I can’t do that.” His eyes take in your silhouette, wandering slowly and deeply, because he’s so afraid. So afraid that this will be the last time you let him see you again. He wants to memorize as much of you as possible in case it gets taken away. He takes a deep breath. “So, if we do this. I want more of you—not just the sex, but I want to take you out. And… I won’t do this if you don’t want that. I don’t want this to be a one-and-done deal. Got it?”

You’re unsure whether it’s the adrenaline running through your veins or the sexual tension you feel for him snapping, but you run your hands under his shirt and over his bare chest. For whatever reason, his thoughtfulness turns you on even more than you thought you could be. You ache for his touch, and the desire builds into a searing pain. He wants to stop you, but he can’t; you’re too mesmerizing.

“Eddie,” you moan out. He whimpers under your touch, and he bucks up into you. The muscles in his hand flex against your hip, fighting against his vices. Who knew having a pretty girl on top of him would have him become such a mess?

“Sweetheart,” he breathes out. “You’re not helping me here. I need you to tell me you—” He flips you under him, knee wedged conveniently between your legs, pushing barely enough against your core. He’s frustrated in more ways than one. His eyes implore of you, with the addition of his voice being much deeper. He lets you rub against his thigh for a moment before pulling back. He pins your hands above your head and hovers closely over you just enough for you to hear his harsh whisper. “Now, now, you’re not being very good, are you? Tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” you beg.

“Understand what?”

“Fuck, Eddie, I want you to be mine. My boyfriend, my heart, my soul, and—” You slide your fingers down his body. “Your cock .”

“Shit,” he grins cheekily. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?” He moves to unbutton your jeans as his tongue sticks out in concentration. You don’t understand how he could still be so cute during an activity as sinful as this. Once the garment is off your legs, you return the favor, nearly ripping his shirt off his back.

He quickly pulls you back onto his lap. You continue running your hands down his chest as one of his fingers hook into the hem of your underwear, rubbing the skin of your hips with the pads of his fingers. His other hand swipes teasingly down your cunt through the fabric, causing the thick wet line to fully soak your panties immediately upon contact. You rut against him, despising the barrier that is his jeans. You need to feel him now .

“Patience, sweetheart,” he says hoarsely, right before pulling your underwear off completely. “There’s something I wanna try first.” He pulls your hips up to his face roughly, and your hands land on the wall above him for support. You giggle.

“Sounds like you’re the one who needs to put on the reigns.” Your heat is right above his mouth; you can feel his hot breath fluttering across, making you drip even more. His soft lips target your core, making sure to run his tongue over your clit from time to time. In the meantime, his hands continue roaming your body, starting from the bend in your knees to your quite indulgent thighs, all the way up to your chest. As you’re stuck in his maze of pleasure, he catches you off guard and pulls on your nipple. You yelp in surprise and arousal, the electricity of it aiding you in the roll of your hips against his face. He smiles against you, easily lapping up any juices that come out.

It causes you to release your most lewd sound of the night so far, and this man is soaking it all up. He loves that he’s the one to make you feel this way and no one else.

“Bet Harrington couldn’t make you moan like that for him.”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up, I wouldn’t have even let him.”

“Careful with those eyes, I don’t want them rolling to the back of your head unless you’re bouncing on my cock.” He continues suckling at your clit and your eyes squeeze shut, enjoying the sensation. You’ve played with yourself before, but it was never like this. You could only get so far with just your fingers rubbing idly as your mind sneaks off somewhere else. Just the way his tongue moves around you so languidly has you close to your climax already.

He abruptly palms both your ass cheeks and pushes you deeper down into his face, to the point where you’re terrified you’re going to smother him—but he keeps it there, firm and steady, and darts his tongue in deep .

Now, you’ve seen this man’s tongue countless times before. Whenever pure concentration is necessary, that one time he provoked Jason Carver in the cafeteria, and the many periods of time when he merely wanted to make funny faces at you to cheer you up, like a child. Have you thought about what they’d feel in your mouth and inside of you? Naturally. But what you failed to understand was the sheer strength and length of each thrust. When you look down at him, you expect to see multiple appendages because there is no way he could work on so much of you all at once. Oh, it is so much better than you thought.

The thin sheen of sweat on his skin has his bangs sticking to his forehead. The rest of his hair falls nicely around him, like a halo under your thighs. The tip of his nose is bumping wonderfully against your button, bringing you closer and closer to your release. He’s looking straight at you, cheeks slightly hollowed out from the sucking motion. He squeezes your ass and gives a single slap. Your arms fall from the wall and land on the sheets next to him. Unable to hold back any longer, you start tweaking at your nipples. The sight has Eddie groaning into you, sending heavy vibrations straight to your folds.

“ Fuck , Eddie.” You want to scream, but you’re afraid that the neighbors might hear. You stifle a few more moans to the depths of your soul, until you feel your climax inching towards you. He answers incoherently into your pussy, but you know what he wants. His hands grip you tighter, helping you grind against his face. With one more hard suck around your nub, your orgasm comes crashing down on you. Your center pulses with each high, and you swear you’re seeing stars. You topple over, body limp beside Eddie as he licks his lips. His face is drenched with your cum.

“Was it that good, princess? I didn’t even get to finger you yet.” He waves his fingers humorously in front of your face. He’s leaning on one arm, admiring the work he’s made of you. Your chest is still heaving from the intensity, and you fan yourself.

“God, yes, it was so—I don’t even—have you done this before?”

“Oh, but of course,” he replies without missing a beat. You looked at him in surprise, then at the mess he made out of you. “What, do I seem like a virgin?” Your eyes are half-lidded, and you feel the embrace of sleep coming over you, but you’re able to muster out a yes and a few chortles for good measure.

Eddie had gotten up in the meantime and wiped his face with a towel, then used another to wipe you down. You croak out a “ Thanks” as he places a kiss on your forehead. He’s about to pull his covers over you, but you grab his hand with a frightful ferocity, alarming the poor man before you. He looks at you in question.

You fight the sleep in your eyes, and yank on his belt loop. He falls over you, quickly catching himself with an arm next to your head. He chuckles. “What is it, sweetheart? Haven’t had enough?”

You palm him over the jeans, and he hisses, but keeps steady. It was the most overwhelming orgasm you had ever experienced in your life, and as a result, your body’s energy levels are depleted. You feel guilty, wanting to return the favor, especially since he still has a hard-on, but it was getting more difficult each second that passes by. He notices and moves to the side of the bed.

“Maybe next time,” he says.

“Next time,” you whisper.

And the world fades to black.

#stranger things smut #stranger things #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #smut #eddie munson

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just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace · 2 months ago

Text

Ruin (Annatar/Sauron x Elf!smith!reader)

-> in which you and Annatar share a moment alone in the forge

Warnings: implied mind control, implied smut

The hour is late, and the forge is empty. It was restlessness that brought you here, a need for silence away from your own sheets, where sleep has too long eluded you. As for Annatar, you could not guess his reasons for being here. You doubt it was you he sought out in the dead of night. But it is you he finds nonetheless.

“Be at ease,” he soothes you when you first catch sight of him and rush to your feet, suddenly feeling as though it was unlawful to be sitting on the edge of the forge, lost in thought as you were. His words, however, coupled with the gentle smile you have come to know on his lips, banish the thought. How silly of you, to feel ill at ease in your own home. In the presence of a friend.

Then again, you feel many things in the presence of Annatar, Lord of Gifts. Most do, and with good reason. Each word that leaves his mouth feels imbued with ancient wisdom, even in idle conversation. In fact, he hardly ever makes idle conversation, ever so focused on the work at hand. Yet he commands respect without instilling fear, and somehow seems both leader and companion. To this extent, your fellow smiths feel as you do.

You are not sure they would feel as you do, however, if they were to be standing in your place right now. If they would be so keenly aware that this is the first time you are speaking to him without the work serving as an excuse, and without other eyes to see you. You doubt they would find it so difficult to listen to his words and conjure their own in response, or fear that the silence that sometimes settles between you might betray the stutter in your breath when your gaze lingers on his ethereal face, or hands. You find it difficult... yet there is a sweetness to the strain. Now that you have his presence, you cannot wish it away. You would never.

Stay, you cry out within yourself—not a thought, but a plea which resonates within every inch of your flesh, deafening you to all else. Even to his voice.

It must have blinded you as well—for a few moments, at least—because you find, all of a sudden, that he is close. So very close. And so very tall, compared to you. Looking up into his eyes feels like staring downward into an abyss, stomach plummeting as the pitch-black depths dare you to do the same. But his eyes are not dark, not in color at least. They are blue as the sky, blue as the rivers, blue as some of the precious gems you handle with nimble fingers day after day, creating beauty and striving for perfection, futile though as you know the effort may be. Perfection can only be found in Valinor, wiser Elves than you often say. Yet here it is, looking back at you. Studying you, it seems.

In all your years of life, rarely has a thought rendered you as breathless as this. What does he find, you wonder, when he looks at you—this Elf of uncommon beauty and knowledge, even for one of your kind? The talent of your hands as you work on the Rings? The disquiet in your eyes when he stands close, hand brushing yours as some tool or gem passes between them? The yearning surging within you, growing stronger with each moment the distance between you does not grow greater, but instead, you think—you hope, oh, now you’ve gone on to hope—has been diminishing in increments so small you’ve hardly noticed, not until his breath begins to caress your heated cheek?

“Your talent, I have admired for weeks,” he begins to speak, the rumble of his soft voice joined with a finger beneath your chin stealing your ability to do anything but tremble under his gaze. “Of your disquiet, I am well aware,” he says, and you feel he is pleased. “As for your yearning...”

It should frighten you—it does frighten you, how he has plucked each thought within your mind as easily as strings on a harp. But the iciness of dread is no match for the heat that engulfs your skin as his lips descend upon yours. You grasp at thoughts, at reason, but they slip from your reach as easily as his hand does into your hair. He tugs at the roots so much less gently than his mouth moves against yours, and a small, helpless whimper escapes your throat as he tilts your head further back. The strain on your neck is barely felt, and long forgotten as the kiss you had never dared imagine deepens. He tastes like flames, you think deliriously. Like the blackest hour of the night and the deepest-buried desires of the heart. It is sweet oblivion that plunders your mouth. Unquenchable greed that digs its fingertips into your hips. Inescapable ruin that lifts you up onto the forge and lays you down, hovering over your body like a storm ready to wreak havoc upon the land.

You are not sure, when his lips leave yours and you open your eyes, if all the lights in the forge have been blown out, or if he is simply all that is left in the world. All that is left of the world, once he is done swallowing it whole.

Because he will. Somehow, you know he will. He lets you.

And you let him begin with you.

#sauron x reader #annatar x reader #the rings of power

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arminsumi · 1 year ago

Text

it's the hair.

𝐆. 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 — 五条悟 ⋅ fem reader

NOTE: lol this is just a dum fluff drabble i wrote instead of studying

SUMMARY — your childhood friend and classmate satoru positively kills you with his new haircut. but he misunderstands your reactions and behaviors, thinking he did something wrong.

WARNINGS — lowercase used, not proofread, misunderstandings between u n gojo, angst if you squint ??

WORDCOUNT ≈ 1.3k

🍒 𝐉𝐚𝐲 — サクランボ ⋅ 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 !

you've been eyeing out gojo all day. he's not sure what to make of your expression — it's something mixed between comical worry and genuine distress.

"what? what is it?" he keeps asking you each time you give him the side eye look-over. "do i have something on my face?"

"no. it's nothing." you reply curtly.

he squints skeptically at you.

from class to class, he ponders alongside suguru. did he say something? were you mad at him? was it because he stole your soda from the vending machine yesterday? but he always does that, so why would you be mad now? maybe you were just not feeling well? did you not sleep well?

and suguru's ears flooded with all these theories.

"did i say something to y/n? she's acting strange today."

his best friend stifles a smirk. "dunno, did you?"

"i think she's mad at me. was it because i stole her soda? but y'know it's not my fault we like the same soda! and i promised to buy one for her next time!"

suguru now lowers his head into his arms, resting on the desk, trying so hard to keep his laughter in.

"maybe it's the weather — probably the flu — yeah, definitely the flu. i'll go get something for y/n at the store, d'you need anything, suguru? what! what are you laughing at!"

"nothing, nothing. i don't need anything from the store, thanks — unless maybe something spicy that catches your eye. 'better run quick, store's gonna close soon."

satoru furrows his brows in confusion, and eventually his entire expression becomes serious, like an old philosopher in deep thought about the universe. but it's not the abyssal void beyond the stratosphere that's in his thoughts, no, it's you — you're pervading his entire mind as he walks across the roads of tokyo, to the station, and boards the train.

holding onto the handles as it shudders and sways, shoulders taught as they always are when he's in thought. were you really sick? what if he did something bad? maybe it was nothing at all, and he was just overthinking it. maybe it didn't even involve him. did it have to do with suguru? or perhaps you were upset about something in the past, something irrational and long-forgotten, like the fact that he didn't attend your 7th birthday party. it's not like he had a choice, his parents barely allowed him to visit your side because they didn't want their prodigy son hanging out with...

he texts you.

satoru — are u home yet

he stares and waits for you to come online, then watches as those three dots move up and down and you start typing.

you — no why

satoru — where are u

you — bridge

satoru — what are u doing

you — lol so many questions

you — the sunset looks rlly good today i'm taking pics

satoru — wtf without me??

you — lol sorry didn't think u wanted to waste ur time watching the sunset

satoru — see u there

he's just boarding off the train, coming through its doors, when he texts you that. thank the benefit of his long legs for speeding to the store in time before it closes. he picks up your favorite.

when you see him come into view, you're waiting with your arms draped around the railing of the bridge.

"trying out for the track team?" you laugh, as he practically runs up to you. "did you run this whole way?"

he's catching his breath, clutching a plastic bag of goodies.

"are you sick?" he asks.

"what? no?"

"i thought you might have the flu." he's asking with genuine concern, it's bizarre. he usually doesn't talk like this unless he knows he's in trouble with you, or if something's really wrong.

"i'm fine." you blink, "i've just been watching the sunset. you missed the best part."

"i didn't know you enjoyed sunsets."

"why didn't you invite me!" he groans, coming over to assume an oddly attractive position by the railing. he slacks against the metal, leaning his weight on it. he lets the plastic bag with yours and suguru's favorites in it thud to the ground.

the cityscape is so pretty, and yet he's still prettier, you think.

"i don't care for them." he admits, "but of course i'll enjoy a sunset if you're watching it with me."

you look at him. he's not even facing the sunset. was something on his mind? you can hardly theorize, because you're giving him that peculiar look again.

he catches you looking at him, "what!"

"what?"

"did i do something wrong?" his breath is stable now, "are you mad at me?"

"no? why d'you think I'm mad at you?" you ask confusedly.

"because you keep lookin' at me like that!"

"like what?" you feel your cheeks warm up.

"like something about me is offensive to your eyes."

you break out laughing. "no! i'm not — it's not — you misunderstand me, like always..."

"what the hell?" he whines, "is it nothing serious? i've been worried. you've been looking at me weird since sunday and — oh... OH MY GOD."

you giggle, chin pressing on the railing. "did you just realize something?"

"is it the haircut!"

"it's the haircut."

"why do you not like it!" he fumes, that familiar satoru playfulness coming back now as he was put at ease knowing he didn't upset you. "you know it cost a lot, 'n i styled it and everything."

"i didn't say i didn't like it! it's the opposite."

"so you like it? then why do you look at me like you're having an internal crisis?"

you groan, "because you're giving me a crisis! you know i'm weak for undercuts!"

he shuts up. his heart races a bit. oh, so he misunderstood you not a little bit but entirely. oops. now why didn't he realize that his haircut would have this effect on you? when he subconsciously went to get an undercut because you mentioned you liked them in passing one school afternoon.

"oh."

"you're so dumb, satoru."

"well sorry!" he rolls his eyes.

now there's silence. he stops leaning his back against the railing and turns to face the final stages of the sunset. the streetlights come on, one is gleaming not too far from you two. it casts a dreamy light on his hair.

it really is a good cut, and it's styled in such a way that... well it gets your daydreams going, let's just say that. and here gojo was worried when he came out of the salon, thinking it was too short now. truthfully, it was a bit short compared to his other haircuts, but he wore it well. of course he did.

"so you like it?"

"i love it."

"well if you love it, then show it love." he teases.

"what on earth d'you mean?" you laugh shortly.

"fluff my hair." he says.

"no way, lice-boy."

"hey!" he pinches your cheek in retaliation, and your reaction endears him as much as it always has since you two were kids. "that was one time, i haven't ever had lice again."

he pouts. you look over. he is pouting. pouting. he's a nineteen year old boy pouting about not getting his hair fluffed by his childhood friend who he maybe sorta kinda has a crush on.

and then he encourages you. he leans his head on your shoulder. his hair tickles your cheek.

"damn. you're like an attention-starved cat." you joke.

he places your hand on his head himself. the brief warmth and glimpse at the size difference between his hand and your hand made him giddy.

you ruffle his hair lightly, and then he wears a satisfied smile. now early night has settled. it's quiet at the bridge except for the distant city sounds and lull of the highway.

"i was really worried that i did something wrong." he admits.

"i'm sorry."

he sighs, snuggling your shoulder. there's a nice silence between you and him.

then he breaks it.

"hey, i didn't say stop fluffing." his deep voice reverbs in your chest. he's playful and lively, but you can tell he's also tired from running all the way here.

"you're a menace." you tell him.

"but you like me, right?" it's more of an insecure question. he wants to hear you say it back, not as a playful joke.

"of course i do."

"good, good."

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greenflamedwriter · 1 year ago

Text

I'm the protagonist, bitch!

What if SY transmigrated as Luo Binghe and had to go through the main trials and abuse under the scum villain Shen Qingqiu?

And in typical SY fashion, ends up deluding himself and no longer cares what Sqq is doing? Since Luo Binghe knows he's going to go into literal hell everything sqq does seem tame in comparison? He starts thinking "If being whipped is making me cry...how will I be when I lose a limb in the abyss!?"

Then he starts seeing this as inpromptu training, he gives SQQ the peerless cucumber roast of a lifetime JUST to get more punishment! He has to get stronger!

And of course in true Scum villain fashion, SQQ backs off and starts treating LBH as a disciple and just ignores him.

This is grossley unfair!

Shen Yuan AS Luo Binghe.

So SY transmigrates as Luo Binghe and already doesnt feel comfortable as a grown ass man taking wives who were mostly Binghes age with the occasional milf thrown in there. So he decides fuck it, he’ll get stronger deal with he abyss when he gets to it and at first wanted revenge on SQQ then decided it was too much hassle. He just wanted to be left alone. But the scum villain keeps bothering him, and actually seems to like him- why? What changed!? The hell!?

-SY transmigrates as Luo Binghe.

Has the horror that as the protagonist his lufe is a living hell, continous tortourous chores, being whipped and beaten for the tiniest offense how will a millenial survive!

[Welcome Host you can you up! As the protagonist you are the workds child and no lasting harm will befall you-]

“Yeah but I’ll still be harmed.”

[An over powered protagnosit at the start if his journey is too unrealistic.

Tasks for hosts are;

Create a harem.

Fall into the endless abyss.

Take revenge on Shen Qingqiu.

Merge the realms!]

“I dont want to do any if that!”

[System has heard users complaints and sees that Host will only do one scenario!]

Oh thank god

[System has taken the liberty of choosing the task- endless abyss arc!]

You fuck!

-SY stole a manual. If he wanted to survive the abyss he had to be stronger. Having an unstable core will do him no favours…

So far he was able to keep his head down but realised something. When he first transmigrated the first thing that happened he was beaten. And it hurt.

Then he was whipped and it hurt but…

Luo Binghe was going into the abyss- even with his demon blood awakened he would face a ton of horrors and so much pain his own arm ripped of.

“A-lou? You look pale,” His shiejie spoke placing a hand over his head.

If he wanted to survive he would have to build up his pain tolerence…

Steadying his rabid heartbeat Luo Binghe smiled.

“This one is fine.”

He purposfully acts out, and tried not to cry- it was just intimidating okay! That he was being whipped while his Shizun supervised-

Did Shen Qjngqiu really have to sit there and watch the sadistic fuck!

Even so, he built himself up stronger.

He accidently proposed to Ming fan that he had no intention of seeing Ning Yinying that way as she was like a sister.

But seeing a man bully someone they percoeved as their little brother how would you react? If Ming Fan acted kind to Binghe he could also hang oht with Ning Yingying.

“You can have one on one time with Ning Yingying, she’ll be happy that we’re getting along.”

“You just want me to help with your chores-“

“Of course not. This one will do extra and Ning Yingying likes to talk or gets bored easily you can stop and play with her instead.”

And just like that he matchmaked the two, and had all the wood chopping to himself.

It was frustrating coming from a modern eorld you’d think he knew hie to get stronger.

But that was all er-ge. He knew the difference between working out and only looking like a model but was weak and unfit. Meanwhile people who gained weight and looked bigger were often stronger.

Even so, Luo Binghe used the kitchens to his advantage while eating he would study and in his own time would train even dyring the night.

And if he felt tired he would purposfully sleep in during his Shizuns lessons.

Extra points for snowing loudly.

Of course he rejoiced in the day he no longer felt pain on his back. He even told Shen Qingqiu himself that what point was the punishment if he now felt nothing?

So now he had to sit on pins, hanging off the mountain and not fall to his death because his arms got tired.

Even so it’d make him stronger.

“Ah binghe can you take this to Peak Lord Shen?”

He blinked then stared at the food.

And he suddenly had a wicked idea.

He may not want revenge kn his scumbag shizun, even though he deserved it. Lucky for him he was so lazy!

But this would be the most sweetest revenge.

He decided to take the food up for Shen Qingqiu passing it to Mong Fan.

“What are you doing with Shizuns food?”

“I was already in the kitchen, while the cooks told me to bring it.”

Ming Fan looked suspicious and Luo Binghe held the urge to roll his eyes.

“You can taste test it if you eant although, Shizun wont be pleased by the delay.”

To be fair, Shizun never ate. He never slept either. The only time he oerked was when he went doen the mountain. He sure had an addiction.

Luo Binghe almost said nothing then remembered he needed to get in trouble and punished!

“Visiting the brothel, again, Shizun?”

The other gaped at his audacity, to be fair, Shen Qingqiu could kick him of the mountain, but after reassuring with the system that would never happen.

Shen Qingqiu paused and only glanced back, cold eyes sneering down at Luo Binghe.

Luo Binghe shivered, he sure was the scum villain alright, so scary!

Such a waste of good looks too.

“Luo Binghe to the wood shed.”

He bowed, “Yes, Shizun.”

Unknwowing that to others he was practically going whth a slring in his step.

“Why do you rebel against your master so? Are you a glutton for punishment?”

Luo Binghe was forced to kneel before Shen Qingqiu, his legs bloodied and skin torn.

The original goods would’ve broken Shen Qingqius legs for that.

But kneoing he may lose a leg in the endless abyss he was fine with it.

“This disciple has nothing but respect for Shen Qjngqiu.”

Hah as if! He wished for nothing but Shen Qingqius castration!

“This disciple is aware how…behind he is compared to everybody else and only wishes to be stronger. After being whipped to the point of no linger feeling pain?”

He missed the wide eyes of Shen Qjngqiu as he kept speaking.

“This disciple knows many more trails are to come and this one has to be stronger to face them. So far the punishments have given this Binghe so much thatvhe can’t hope to ever repay. But as the years passed noticed less punishments…”

It was strange usually this was when Qjngqiu got worse.

“This Binghe never wanted to lose all that progress and so…to continue this disciple had to…escalate such things to get what I wanted.”

When he glanced up he blanched, he’d never seen Shen Qingqiu look so enraged!

Luo Binghe realised what he said then bowed, face red in shame.

“This disciple apologises! He should have spoken with Shizun first! And never went about his own training in such a way! This disciple was wrong!”

“Oh, so now you understand?”

Easy for you! Binghe was focused on survivng the abyss! Not your ego!

“It seems this Shizun was rewarding such behaviour. Are you truly a masochist?”

Shen Qingqiu used his foot to raise Luo Binghes chin from the floor!

Luo Binghe kept hos face impassive the only thing giving him away was a small twitch.

He did not want that type of attention from his scumbag Shizun! God damn it!

“N-no Shizun this lowly one only wanted-“

The foot moved, and before Binghe could even relax, Shen Qingqiu rose as he stepped on his head pushing him intk the floor, Luo Binghe turned his nose just in time befkre it made contact.

He grunted, unable to move. Only riding it out until his scum Shizun got it out of his system. But this sucked.

“What a degenrate beast, thinking he can take advantage of his Shizun. You don’t care aboht getting stronger only using that as an axcuse to get away with being disrespectful.”

Luo Binghe opened his mouth then closed it, to be fair…Luo Binghe did enjoy being able to clap back and roast Shen Qingqiu and even being beaten bloody and blue he thought-

Worth it!

Shen Qingqiu noticed then pushed his foot down harder.

Luo Binghe scowled.

“With this type of punishment sometimes wonder werher you get off on this, Shizun.”

Shen Qingqiu paused, “What did you say?”

“Visiting all those brothels, and favouring Ning Yingying so, what if sineone where to walk in right now and see this, wouldn’t they jump to conclusions?”

Shen Qingqiu gripped his fan- ha a reaction! Even the original goods had never made him break his fan!

Luo Binghe wanted a record, lips twitching.

“Whose the degenerate now? Pervert Shizun.”

Shen Qingqiu grabbed his hair yanking it back then slammed him into the floor.

It was too quick to hurt.

All Luo Binghe knew was the blood pouring down his nose all over Shizuns lamenated flooring.

“Clean yourself up. Then come back and clean this mess and if this stains this master will,”

Luo Binghe looked up at him tiredly, raisng an eyebrow.

He’ll what? Beat him, burn him?

Kill him?

Ha! he can try he’s the motherfucking protagonist!

Shen Qingqiu paused, eyes narrowing and Luo Binghe had to inwardly cackle.

Ha he did it! He broke Shen Qingqiu!

Who knew his tried and true method of pissing of trolls online was apathy and not caring! Peerless cucumber for the win!

Luo Binghe bowed, “if that’ll be all Shizun, this Binghe will return to clean his mess.”

That you made, he left unsaid.

After that things went…wrong.

Shen Qingqiu ignored him.

No one bullied him, no one hit him. Even when Luo Binghe poured tea all over Shen Qingqius head, it was scalding hot too!

He wasn’t punished.

No. No. No. no-

The endless abyss was only a year away!

And are you freaking kidding me! What wanting to get punished made Shen Qingqiu finally act like a decent Shizun!?

That asshole.

Whenever he saw him Luo Binghe couldn’t help but glare his scowl darkening and saw the smug bastards smirk.

It was awful, Luo Binghe was so used to being on the attack and on guard.

So now he jumped at the slighest sound, thank god no one was there to see him flinch away from a bunny!

And his workload was depleted! He barely had any chores and suddenly realised he had so much free time!

Damn that scumbag!

Its funny, the lriginal goods would give his left leg to be treated this way…as an actual disciple of Qing Jing Peak and yet…

It felt wrong. Luo Binghe was completely thrown off it almost affected his appetite!

…

Wait.

Luo Binghe paused, the endless abyss was a matter of survival.

He was going to have to get used to not drinking water or finding food as well as fighting.

Luo Binghe, who was going through the motions as he sparred with the rest of the disciples, going through the qing jing peak forms-

He never did before, too busy doing chores to never realise his manual was fake.

…he could’ve went to Mu Qingfang but knew his meridians were healthy and could easily be called a liar.

So he instead left two manuals on Shen Qingqius desk and wrote in the best caligraphy to ever grace the earth;

“I know this is a fake asshole.”

Of course Luo Binghes writing was awful in lessons! But now that Shen Qingqiu was no longer punishing him. Luo Binghe didnt hold back or doodle anymore.

Instead writing as many pages as he could neatly and was done befkre the glass.

The only irritation when Shen Qingqiu realised was a slight eye twitch.

As well as other lessons, easily able to create the object they were supposed to paint before Shen Qingqiu could even critisice him Luo Binghe beat him to it.

“The perspective is off and the bounce light is coming from the wrong direction. This disciple apologises for wasting paint.” He spoke in a bored tone.

The other disciples whose work was way worse felt themselves drop in shame.

If Luo Binghes was bad how in the fuck where they going to compete!?

With all this three time, he decided to spend every moment in the library and study demonic beasts.

His memory was good and he of course knew every single weakness how cluld he not? The monsters were the only redemable thing in PIDW.

Poor Binghe he deserved better!

He could train with Liu Qingge? Maybe say hey my Shizun is better than you and I can prove it fight me!

Huh thats a plan.

But the fact that Liu Qingge was alive was weird, after asking around it turns out Shang Qinghua had something to do with that…

It was strange- but he didnt have time for that he had to focus! And being hungry was really making it hard.

Even so better doing this now in an enviroment where the wkrst thing that can happen is him collapsing.

Other than the abyss where he might end up dying.

His head was splitting, he could barely sleep because of the pain.

There had to be good spots in the abyss for water but airplane skipped it!

Oh no the porn was more improtant than survival! Dumb fuck!

Even so, he had to be lerfect in class, as well as remain consistent in his spars and able to face off against disciples.

And he was doing great! He wasnt hungry as much he could still fight okay the headaches he had grown used to so its fine!

If he couldn’t fight hand to hand with a freakin disciple then how the fuck was he going to last one day in the abyss!

What Luo Binghe didnt know was he was the world child and the abyss wouldn’t be so bad in the sense it was supposed to make him stronger.

In the original story, Luo Binghe only clawed his way out for his hatred for Shen Qingqiu.

The system was very aware that this Luo Binghe…had no ambition.

With nothing to keep him motivated, Luo Binghe may give up and so the system had no choice but to make the abyss easier.

Although technically it wasn’t unlike the original goods who was tossed in unprepared, terrible base, and ignorant.

This Luo Binghe has been training so of course it was going to be easier.

But seriously host was damaging himself!

Luo Binghe, was panting harshly, his hands weak.

He had to pace himself.

He knew his stomach would shrink if he stopped eating, he couldnt over indulge or he might hurt hinself or his stkmach might explode.

He had to get used to smaller bites.

And learn how to ration food.

It got to the point where even Shen Qingqius food which used to smell heavenly just smelled.

It was still good. But he didnt want to eat it.

He knew logically his food tasted good, he just didnt care for it.

When he delivered placing it down before his Shizun.

Remebering the time Shizun found out his meals were cooked by Binghe! Was pricless he looked like he could cough up blood!

The truth cane out when Binghes hands were injured, and of course he couldn’t train so he bawled telling Shizun not his hands how will he cook for him!?

Thats when Shen Qjngqiu found out, and he had the most darkest mood ever.

The disciples of course took it out on Binghe, then he remembered oh yeah, Luo Binghe lost a limb in the abyss! Ergo more training!

So he was able to dodge and fight his way out with just his legs!

The fact that he was in a tree when Shen Qingqiu found him, with a ton of disciples tormening him he almkst laughed at Shen Qingqius face!

Oh if only he still had a cellphone.

Ah if only his hands could work and take one too!

Instead Luo Binghe decided to paint Shen Qingqiu and it had to be his best work yet!

He had to admit it was the only healthy way to get the aggresion out his system.

Art was therapytic no matter what Qingqiu said!

And his woodshed was…covered.

On one hand he wanted to hide them, on the other?

He wanted someone to see and get pissed and punish him for it.

Now, Luo Binghe thought bored, he never gets punished. He was starting to miss it.

doodling another Shen Qingqiu, his fault for being so handsome!

He drew Ming fan occasionally as well as the other male disciples.

Ying shijie always pouted that he never drew her as his french girl.

But he couldn’t!

Knowing the relationship the two had, anything could trigger a romance he did t want to risk it!

Men were safer!

He just said drawing ugly people was better to learn, Ning Yingying is too lretty unfortunatly!

She flushed then decided to say nothing else.

Even so, Ming Fan was growing into his looks, he wasnt as gokd looking as Binghe but he no longer looked like an awful mini Scum.

Luo Binghe was so tired he found his limbs shaking.

His clothes were too big and he kept tripping on them.

And his head was pounding.

One foot then-

He blinked his eyes open to see a ceiling, what?

He tried to get up until a hand grabbed his head and lushed him back down.

Luo Binghe yelped, looking up to see Shen Qingqius dark face.

What? Was he upset Binghe was still alive? Well sorry oh great and bountiful Shizun this Binghe will try harder next time!

Shen Qingqius lips twitched into a sneer.

“Luo Shizi. Please don’t try to kill yourself no matter how much you want praise from someone.”

Luo Binghe blanched, did he say that outloud?

“Now, might want me to explain why Luo Shizi is neglecting hinself?”

Mu Qingfang asked sktging before Luo Binghe.

It was…weird seeing two peaklords staring him down…

“Um, This Binghe wanted to be prepared in case…at any point found himself somewhere with no food or water and had to survive.”

He spoke, it was a very valid fear! Anything can happen to a cultivator!

“Why would you think that would happen to you- to take such an extreme risk such as this, to prevent it?”

Luo Binghe’s eyes flickered to Shen Qingqiu for a split second but it was enough to make Shen Qingqiu snap.

“You really believe this Lord will do that to you?”

Luo Binghe stared at him and Shen Qingqiu looked more annoyed.

“Stop looking at me like that!”

Like what? Was he pulling a face?

(He was, he always gave Shen Qingqiu that look when he thought the kfher was being fumb)

“Luo Shizu has Shen Qingqiu done something to make you act this way, has he hurt you?”

“No.”

Both spoke at the same time, Shen Qingqiu looked surprised at Luo Binghe who stared straight ahead at Mu Qingfang.

“This Binghe, has never been harmed by Shizun. In fact this one has been spoiled! This Binghe only wants to get stronger and prove that Shizun didnt make a mistake in making me his disciple!”

Mu Qingfang melted “Oh Shizi, you don't have to prove yourself. Afterall most of the peak knows that you are a gifted young student!”

Now Luo Binghe paused, sorry what? Since when!?

“So theres no need to push yourself. You are a growing boy! And developing an eating disorder in this stage could damage your cultivation!”

Luo Binghe blinked, well…no it won't matter to a heavenly demon.

To a human sure, maybe but he was the protagonist he would be fine!

“Shen Qingqiu, you’ll have to watch him.”

Oh sweet! Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t give a shit! As long as Luo Binghe was careful and ate a little bit he wouldn’t collapse and be more careful he should be fine!

Both noticed Luo Binghe perk, Mu Qingfang felt something ease to know how much the disciples loved their Shizun.

Meanwhile Shen Qingqiu gave the other a narrowed eyed stare on why the thought of Shen Qingqiu watching him would being him delight?

As soon as they walked back to Qing Jing Peak, Luo Binghe turned in the direction of the wood shed to continue reading his books until he choked as the back of his collar was tugged yanking him back.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Shen Qingqiu asked, lightly fanning his face while holding Binghe by the scruff like a misbehaving dog.

“My…room?”

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes twitched.

“You really believe this lord is going to leave you unsupervised?”

Luo Binghe gave him that look again.

And Shen Qingqiu’s first impulse was to slap him.

He held back, knowing his wayward disciple probably enjoyed that!

“Since this Shizun has been so neglectful of his poor student,”

Luo Binghe twitched, tensing up waiting for the guillotine.

What was his Shizun up to?

“This Lord will have to personally take care of you hinself.”

Luo Binghe blinked then froze.

Shit.

Shit!

He had no idea this could happen- but to be fair he thought his Shizun would bite off his own tongue rather than pretend to be caring for someone like Binghe!

“From now on you will be living with me in the side room at the bamboo house.”

If Shen Qingqiu wasn’t holding him Luo Binghe would’ve fell on his ass.

What?

“Come on, what meagee things did you need at your room that you were in a hurry to get?”

Luo Bknghe grit his teeth and had to turn stiffly as he walked towards the wood shed and entered.

Shen Qingqiu stayed at the doorway not entering, and instead watching Luo Binghe gather his books and manual.

He checked the contents making sure it wasn't another fake one the shoved it in a quirken pouch.

He wasn't stupid or had an eating disorder for christ's sake!

He just could be reliant on constant fokd only to die of something silly like starvation or hunger day 3 in the abyss!

And Shen Qingqiu did not even comment on the wood shed being his room other than the dorms.

The bastard.

“I’m ready, Shizun.”

Instead Shen Qingqiu didn't move, baring his exit while he stood on the doorway.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

His eyes flickered to the back wall.

…that was full of his paintings and charcoal sketches of Shen Qingqiu and…others.

Okay sure after fighting Liu Qingge he had to draw him too!

Luo Binghe didn't move.

“The disciples can use it as tinder for the fire if needed. So why move them?”

Luo Binghe tilted his head, “And Shizun does not expect this disciple to live in the side room for the next foreseeable future this Binghe will return back to the woodshed in no time so why move them?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

Shen Qingqku snapped his fan shut and turned with a flourish of his robes.

How unfair, Binghe was still in his disciple era and can't do that yet.

With each step he followed Shen Qingqiu to his new home, mulish expression on his face.

The other disciples scowled darkly at him in envy.

Afterall its the first time any one other than the head disciple had been so close to the peak lord.

Luo Binghe went straight to the side room and started tidying.

He’ll have to sort out the linen sheets and wash them, dust, then wipe the floor, open the window for ventilation-

He ended up washing the sheets outside and once they were dry with a tailsman he brought then back then paused to see his room was done.

Somebody had already cleaned and wiped down the floor.

The window was open allowing a nice cool breeze in the warn room.

“Ming Fan had finished your room. All you have to do is put your things away. You are under direct orders from Mu Qingfang not to over exert yourself.”

Luo Binghe scowled “Yes, Shizun.”

It was a nightmare.

His Shizun would demand lunch and watch Luo Binghe eat then would make sure he didn't go to the bathroom to throw it up-

Like he would!

Shen Qjngqiu even told him to stop eating when he seemed to realise it was too much for Binghes recovering stomach before even he knew.

Even so he was monitored, made sure he slept and didn't read well into the night.

When Shen Qingqiu learned this he ended up tying Binghe in immortal binding cables and laying him in bed.

Shen Qjngqiu was more aggrieved to learn that's why he was sleeping through his lessons.

He couldn’t train as much, and usually Luo Binghe would act cool and aloof.

But this was killing him.

Ming Fan was taking some sick delight out of this he knew it.

And Luo Binghe’s temper was growing short, the immortal alliance was coming up soon and with the way this was going he was not going to survive.

[Host! In order to complete the endless abyss arc- user has to prove he can enter the immortal alliance conference or he may be dropped from the list!]

…what?

“I- I can skil the abyss?”

[Luo Binghe must enter the abyss. Failure to do so Hkst will be ejected from his body and restored to the original one]

Luo Binghe blinked, placing a hand over his chest at the thought.

He had to get better or he wont jump to his possible death?

What was the point?

Luo Binghe clutched his arms, and made himself smaller in the room.

Okay. Okay he can deal with this.

The next morning, Luo Binghe felt as if he was run over by a truck.

His emotions were all over the place… probably from his fucked up diet.

He glanced up at Shen Qingqiu who ate with poise.

Mu Qingfang told him it was better if Binghe ate with someone. And that someone had to be his scumbag shizun.

He really didn't understand him…you'd think he’d encourage this type of behaviour?

“Stop staring and eat your food, mongrel.”

What a dick.

Luo Binghe was pushing his food around and forced himself to take a bite.

“Shizun?”

“What.”

Luo Binghe stared down at his food.

“If this disciple regulated his eating habits only to then fall back into the same habits later down in the future- what would happen?”

“You would die.”

Shit-fuck!

“So this disciple should stop eating now instead-“

He was hot with a fan.

It was less painful that anything Shen Qingqiu has done to him before. It just surprised him.

“Why prepare for something that may never happen? Why not just build your own grave then lie in it and be done with it? Theres no point wasting this masters time by making you a disciple just to watch you throw it away. You can’t be trusted, that is no longer your body. It’s mine, not one scratch, not one bruise and not one bone protruding without my say so.”

Luo Binghe scowled down at his food.

So now he cares?

“This one can still function as a disciple discreetly if you're worried about what others think. Contrary to popular belief I don't want to die.”

Shen Qingqiu looked unimpressed,

“Then what do you call this? Do you miss those punishments so much you would reduce yourself to self harm?”

Luo Binghe blinked, “Self harm? This is only to get stronger, now this Binghe can function without headaches after skipping meals compared to before-“

“Stop.” Shen Qingqiu really looked irritated.

“You are a cultivator, if you don't want to eat work on your core instead, so you have inedia.”

He would but Meng Mo told him if he pushes his core anymore his demonic cultivation will throw it out of balance. So far he’s been working on building that up.

By the systems calculations he wouldn’t be able to unlock that ability for the abyss.

To make it more angsty for the readers.

For fucks sake.

So now he was back at square one. Couldn’t train like before and had to go back to the same amount of chores as the others. Finishing quicker but befkre he could even help Shen Qingqiu would aopear like his fucking shadow and punish the ones Luo Binghe helped.

Shen Qingqiu realised he was fine with punishments but when others got hurt on his account Luo Binghe would back off!

Why!?

The original Luo Binghe would be ecstatjc to have such a kind and caring Shizun! But he had to wonder what the fuck changed!?

Luo Binghe in PIDW did everything to get Shizuns approval but was kicked into the abyss for it! He was punished for breathing!

Now Luo Binghe would give anything to chop wood till his fingers bled or feel the burn of the whip on his back!

And it wasn’t weird he was just under stimulated!

He needed to do something!

So he ended up in the kitchen aggressively cooking deserts.

And it smelled nice.

He already over cooked a ton to feed the entire peak!

He sighed after pulling out his last batch.

May as well give them out, wouldn’t want to waste food.

“Strange how you can cook such delicious foods yet treat them so callously.”

Luo Binghe flinched, fuck me!

He didn't even hear the devil come in!

Luo Binghe glared, another thing he would’ve been punished for, and yet Shen Qingqiu only seemed amused by it.

…was his Shizun bipolar or what!?

Luo Binghe glanced away.

“This disciple was only stress baking, I bought the ingredients myself so it's not wasting Qing Jing Peaks resources.”

Shen Qingqiu picked up one of the steam pead flour cakes he just baked and tasted it.

Luo Binghe waited for the verdict.

He hoped Shen Qingqiu wasn’t going to make him eat all this food he may actually develop an ED if he did.

“Eat this.”

Luo Binghe fucking called it.

Before he could even reach for one, Shen Qingqiu pushed the food towards his mouth, Luo Binghe had to eat otherwise it would make a mess.

Suddenly flavour exploded on his tongue.

It tasted so good, of course it was the protagonist cooking!

He slowly chewed then swallowed it.

“How did it taste?”

“Good.”

What was Shen Qingqiu getting at?

“So what is the problem,”

Luo Binghe tilted his head. Was it bothering him that much that Binghe refused food?

“Its not the taste of the food. Its the fear that I’ll grow so dependent on it and find that I suddenly cant have it.”

“But getting stronger and studying beasts, what's the point in that if you run your body into the ground.”

Luo Binghe had enough, throwing the tray of food to the side.

“Why do you suddenly care!? You whipped me because I talked back but you dont do that now- I starved in that wood shed you never cared, my back was bloody my hands mangled you did not care. So why start now? You may be fine with acting like the kind Shizun. The great Xiu ya Peak Lord Shen, but excuse me for not buying it. For waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So what will it be next? After this would it be sleeping? Is that going to be our new thing once this is done? How many mkre ways do you need to torture me.”

“You torture yourself. I did nothing.”

Yet.

But he will throw Luo Binghe of a cliff into the abyss to kill him.

“You hurt yourself then blame me. You enjoyed those punishments as training, so I stopped realising it was teaching you the wrong lesson. You’re different from other disciples, stupid. To think this is how any respectable cultivator would train-“

“I’m not a cultivator.” Luo Binghe spoke tiredly, looking at Shen Qingqiu with a bored expression on his face.

It riled Shen Qingqiu up.

“This one was an unwanted disciple, a waste. All because Ning Shiejie wanted a shidi and you wanted to win one over Liu Qingge. Because he wanted me first.”

Shen Qingqius eyes widened and Luo Binghe looked down.

“You never wanted this disciple, and this Binghe is fine with that. But after giving me a fake cultivation manual, making me fight elder hammer with posion that could kill me. How can you blame this one for flinching waiting for a third blow?”

Shen Qingqiu looked shocked that Luo Binghe even knew that much.

He walked past, ignoring the food plans of distributing it around the peak forgotten.

Luo Binghe sat before Shen Qingqiu. Forgetting that he had to eat with the devil.

The only thing that gets Luo Binghe through the day is karma.

Everytime something unfortunate happens to Shen Qingqiu (who had such unfortunate luck)

He would bare witness to it.

Being bested in a duel by Qi Qingqi. He ended up cheering her on the loudest.

Seeing Shen Qingqiu try to practise sword fighting and making a huge hole in qing jing peak.

He acted like he did it on purpose but Luk Bknghe was fascinated by his tells and knew the man was embarrassed.

Dropping a tea kettle on his foot he even hopped up and down with a yelp.

That was the best one!

Thoughts like that got him through.

He ate mindlessly not tasting anything. And had to stop when his stomach ached.

“Keep eating.”

Luo Binghe paused, “What?”

“Keep eating. After all this Shizun is cruel and would force poor Binghe to starve so keep eating.”

What a petty bitch.

Luo Binghe did staring right at Shen Qingqiu and kept eating. Until his bowl was finished.

His stomach was killing him.

But he ignored it.

Then he began to swallow more, saliva pooling in his mouth, and-

Luo Binghes eyes widened, he dropped his bowl into the floor and lunged for the bathroom, even Shen Qingqiu flinched at the breakneck speed then grimaced when he heard Luo Binghe throw up.

Luo Binghe didnt eat the next day.

And Shen Qingqiu was begging to lose his temper.

“If you don’t eat properlly you’re not going to the immortal alliance conference!”

God dammit!

Luo Binghe had to admit defeat.

He had half a year left, it would make it more difficult but he had no choice.

He started slow, eating fruits out in the open after training where everyone would see.

Starting off small.

Sharing snacks and eating them himself, and when it came to big meals, would still leave food left but not as much as before.

Its fine, when he’s in the abyss he knows what to expect.

He faces monsters in the beginning, has to keep moving into the centre where he finally finds some springs for water, but no food. Maybe he can prepare a quirken pouch to take supplies.

After all what if water is stored in things, like plants, or trees or even rocks!

It can happen!

If he has tools to store water, and food and make it last then thats eight out of ten problems.

Then theres madam meiyans adventures with the succubus clan…hmm, he really wants to skip it.

Losing his first time in an abyss is not the best place, but he would need new clothes…

He had no idea while he was recovering eating, passing Mu Qingfangs bill of health.

Everyone even peaklords praised Shen Qingqiu for being there for his disciple and helping him through somethimg so trying.

It pissed him off.

No one gave a shut ablut his eating habits, he sweats mu Qingfangs care for his own disciple than his fellow maritial sibling.

And Shen Qingqiu knew Luo Binghe.

That look in his face when he was alone, the anxiety, and panic before settling down.

It was refreshing. Before Luo Binghe would always show that fake smile and act friendly but underneath Shen Qjngqku knew something was wrong with the kid.

The relief when he finally showed his true colours and stopped pretending.

If its one thing, Shen Qingqiu hates its liars.

But no, Luo Binghe may be showing signs he was okay maybe he really is over this bad habit.

But now its when a new habit appears.

He mentioned sleeping so now Shen Qingqiu is more vigilant making sure he goes to bed on time and stops studying those demon books.

Why is Binghe even writing notes on how to defeat a monty python rhino?

He’s too young to be fighting that- he was given a list on what to fight in the alliance why was he studying something else!?

“Maybe he’s trying to copy you?”

Shen Qingqiu paused, lowering the tea cup from his lips.

“Excuse me?”

Mu Qingfang only looked at him cooly.

“Its not a secret that Shen Qingqiu doesnt sleep, is a bright young man but is weak in his cultivation, and is too skinny.”

Shen Qingqiu scowled. “Thats ludicrous and untrue. He’s never went to a brothel.”

So there!

“Not yet, maybe it’ll happen in time.”

“Why would Binghe copy me?”

“Most do, to someone they respect, or idolise. Maybe wanted to understand you better.”

No. Mu Qingfang is definitely wrong at this.

“Binghe is making his own mistakes. He’s not following mine.”

Mu Qingfang hummed, “Its only a theory, unless he starts showing…signs. Maybe you might have to have the talk.”

Shen Qingqku stared then his eyes narrowed “Certainly not. That's the hallmasters job!”

“Maybe there's a lot of things he doesn't know-“

“He had a mother. She would’ve told him.”

…

“What?”

As Luo Binghe came back ho- the bamboo house he wanted to collapse onto his bed.

He wanted to skip dinner so bad but he had to eat now.

Like a respectful adult ugh!

“Binghe!”

“I have moon cakes! I’m eating moon cakes from Ning Yingying!”

He snapped back, he just got into bed! Now he had to stomp because Shizun would want him face to face.

The typical parent yelling for their kid then not answering when they respond.

“Not that, impertinent brat. Sit.”

Luo Binghe sat. What? What could his bipolar Shizun want now?

“If you visit brothels or make nong yingying pregnant I will castrate you,”

Whoa- what!?

Luo Binghe blinked “Shizun, this disciple must have hit his head at sparring today and didnt hear you right. Can you please repeat that?”

What the fuck?

Shen QingQiu sneered down at him.

“Someone brought to my attention that you like to copy me.”

Luo Binghe started looking around and Shen Qingqiu scowled.

“What are you doing.”

“Looking for my fan. But I can’t seem to find it.”

As well as tge stick up my ass but thats not there either so clearly he’s not copying!

“Being a recluse, hiding away from others and assuming the worst of others and your strange relationship with food then you mentioned sleeping habits….”

Luo Binghe glanced back up, surprised.

Even Shen Qingqiu…?

Luo Binghe glanced back down then realised where Shen Qingqiu was going with this-

“I don't need the talk!” He yelped face red. He did not-

He stood up walking away.

“I’m not copying you- I’m not going to end up in a brothel with tons of women-!”

Although original Binghe would’ve-

That wasnt him!

He wasnt interested in a harem! Maybe find some girl settle down study beasts get a bet one.

Oh how cool would that be?

The protagonist with a giant fucking wolf as his companion?

Yeah a big heckin chihuahua.

Luo Binghe had to start cooking something or he was going to go nuts.

…Shen Qingqiubeas seriously starting ti scare him.

When his diet was back to normal, his workout began again. And now he was studying arrays.

Fucking stupid, he was.

Why didn't he think of this before? Keeping food hot or frozen to last longer.

And even have inside pockets so he wint lose his shit willy nilly!

He soent all his tike studying, and sewing and-

Bang!

Most of it exploded in his face.

“Shizun!”

“Don’t tell Shizun!”

It was an accident! It wasn’t on purpose!

But Nong Yingying snitched and now he had to go over sewing techniques and arrary work with the hallmaster again.

And when they saw what he was trying to make they laughed. Claiming it was impossible.

Luo Binghe gree mullish, fuck you he’s the protagonist he can fucking do it!

After hiding away from prying eyed and working on smaller fabrics was able to make a heating AND freezing charm.

He experimented with cold foods first to see if they stayed frozen in the pouch then crowed with delight that it worked!

Now to make it bigger!

And just like that he was able to store large amounts of food in his pouch oldest at the friend newest at the back sk nothing got too spoiled.

He was so giddy.

After making tons of pouches and even showing them off and how they worked and why they existed.

Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat.

“Write your progress into a report. We’ll place your findings in the library with the rest.”

Huh…huh!?

“And Binghe.”

Luo Binghe stood at attention as Shen Qingqiu gazed down at him.

“You are approved to go to the immortal alliance. Do not disappoint me.”

What oh- oh fuck YES!

-he wanted to ditch these disciples why join kf they’re going to struggle!?

Then the demons arrive! About time! Ah these were mich better to fight than the easy ones!

Even the spiders were easy!

“Everyone! There is a snow flower that is a deterent to demons! Up this way!”

Once they were safe did Luo Binghe sigh with relief.

At least now, its all on him.

“I’ll go find help!”

He left the disciples before they could utter a word.

Now alone all he had to do was wander aimlessly until the abyss opened.

He was nervous, like exams, dentist, and blood tests all into one.

He just wanted it over with. As soon as he was in the abyss the better.

“Binghe.”

“Fu- Shizun!?” He nearly died- what the hell?

Oh yeah, Shizun was supposed to toss him in.

“What is Shizun doing here?”

Shen Qingqiu scowled, “Rescuing disciples such as yourself. Come on.”

Mobei-jun comes in, and Luo Binghe feels his hands shaking as he watched as Shang Qinghua was hit into a tree.

This was wrong.

Shen Qingqiu was actually fighting a demon and telling Binghe to run?

“Hmm, what a weak cultivator.”

Shen Qingqiu growled, “You demonic spawn- this Peak Lord is the Xiu ya sword! And you will fall by my blade!”

Shizun was hurt.

Shen Qingqiu evaded the most of the ice crystals, but was pinned to a tree by a viscious one.

Shen Qingqiu may die.

Luo Binghe moved, not even aware just lunging for the ice demon with a yell, swiping his sword down.

He’d forgotten all of his training, only using his bare hands as Mobei-jun looked at him with interest.

“Binghe- run stupid boy!”

Luo Binghe wasn’t paying attention, instead he evaded even getting slammed into the ground, almost breaking his arm he ignored it, until Mobei-jun grabbed his head.

“Hmm, human but not.”

Wait- the monty python…

Luo Binghes eyes widened as a clawed hand reached towards his face, he screamed at the pure agony in his forehead as he was dropped to the floor.

He clutched his skull feeling the mark of sin burn into his forehead his whole body becoming liquid fire when his demonic core burned through his meridians along side his spirtual veins.

Luo Binghe panted, fuck he felt awful.

Mobei-jun replaced the rhino… why was it different?

“Beast.”

Luo Binghe looked up, eyes drooped and out of it. Until a sword touched his neck.

Luo Binghe stiffened, remembering where he was and what he was supposed to do.

“Shizun? Want to tell me what your doing?”

“Who are you calling Shizun, demon mutt?”

Ah back to pet names huh? Luo Binghe hummed, “This disciple is just as surprised as you.”

He glanced to the side and saw Zheng Lang destroyed.

“Shizun, can you do this one a favour?”

“No.”

Luo Binghe shifted back, and stood up, Shen Qingqiu held his sword high, green eyes almost black with the dark scowl on his face.

Luo Binghe took another step back, then another.

His eyes remained on his sword, he really…wanted to take the sword with him…having a sword would be easier in the abyss now he can’t.

He missed the wide eyes look of his Shizun, missed the panic as Binghe took another step back.

“Shizun, can you fix my sword? Say…Luo Binghe died…a human.”

Shen Qingqkus eyes widened, his sword faltering, as Luo Binghe took another step back.

Then felt the ledge under his foot and paused.

“This one has always trained for this…You were never a good Shizun, but this past year…” Luo Binghe turned to look down at the abyss, his chest suddenly tightening, it was terrifying, he was scared. Who wouldn’t be?

He was procrastinating at this point, the timer ticking down.

“I think I might miss you. Shen Qingqiu.” Luo Binghe smiled, showing all his teeth no different to how he looked before he did something to piss Shen Qingqiu off.

Then he fell, falling back into the abyss, eyes squeezed tight breathing heavily to hold in his scream.

The rift shut with a snap.

Leaving Shen Qingqiu with his hand held out, eyes wide in shock.

He fell to his knees, wounded, in pain…and numb.

All this time he wanted to do away with that brat, he dreamed off it-

Now?

“Shen Qingqiu!”

“Shen-Shidi!”

His eyes slid over to the broken sword…he moved and began to pick up the pieces.

He may as well honour that brat. And do this one thing for him.

____________

Luo Binghe almost collapsed against the broken stairway, almost there.

He lost track of time of how long he was in the abyss. He barely had time to think or feel, just respond to each attack and survive.

The only reprieve was when he found a little oasis when the system would pipe up.

And tell him hints with b-points that he earned in the development arc Disciple days.

Luo Binghe almost slumped with relief, food and water was scarce, it was worse than Qing Jing Peak, he knew if he woke up he would be halfway down a beasts mouth.

-gets a dog

-loses a dog

System makes him go to madam meiyan.

“You upled the difficulty on purpose!?”

[stop doing side quests and go to madam meiyan! You need new clothes and then you can get Xin Mo!]

Luo Binghe paused, Xin Mo?

“Why didn’t you say so?”

Like an autistic stuck in a closet and forgotten about, Luo Binghe was actually getting used to the abyss.

But after the loss of Pear…

Yeah, he wanted to call him mini peerless cucumber but that was a mouthful in the abyss. But he wanted it affiliated wkth fruit and thought Pear was a good name.

When Pear was ripped to shreds in front of him, Binghe drove off any cute baby animal that got too close.

He thought that as the protagonist- he really wanted to go home with lear, watch him get bigger and be an intimadating badass!

The system knew he was dodging basic Luo Binghe plots and waa dojng his own thing so to give him angst it decided to make him break down.

Losing his pet, his one stability, his confirt in this wasteland. Shen Qingqiu never betrayed him, so he had to accept loss in one way or another.

It just sucked!

And so after finally trudging up to Madam Meiyan, reluctently, then felt bad because she was nice.

He told her he didnt want anything to happen in the abyss, not until he was safe.

She patged his hand yet still helped him get new clothes.

She didnt act like the femme fatale side fling of Luo Binghe. She acted like a caring older sister.

He slumped in gratitude, and finally adorned the black and red robes.

He checked himsekf oht in the mirror lerking up.

Now that is a protagonist!

Complete lady killer! But not in this world!

Luo Binghe, as a reader, always thought if at any point he would have to marry?

It’d be Liu mingyan.

She was smart, strong and cool. Best girl.

Even so Madam Meiyan was so kind, it almost made Luo Binghe cry.

Even so, he couldn’t stay in the den long, thats just inviting disaster.

He began his journey again, rationing his food and thankful that other than the beggining, at least food was no loner scarce and he could eat and not have to worry.

[That could also be inedia]

Or that too!

Even so, the monsters had to get stronger thats how you level up!

And Luo Binghe wasted no time grinding he wasnt a newb!

He was going to keep fighti bf every single demon he could lay his on to get stronger.

[Host is procastinating to avoid Xin Mo]

He was not!

…maybe- even so he needed duel cultivation to deal with it.

And he didnt want to deal with it.

So when he finally made it up the stairwell, leaning heavily on the wall and leaving blood and ichor on the pale stone,

He saw Xin Mo in tge centre of the room.

Before he was scared, now he had to get over it.

He beat his training, he was literally having a vacation in the abyss, after Xin Mo magbe that will no linger be a problem.

He approached extending his hand and grasped the handle.

Quiet.

Then a sudden flood of screams, intense rage and anger swarmed into him.

He grimaced falling to his knees, breathing his throat aching when he realised he was screaming too.

[Host! Soend b-points to temper Xin Mo?]

Yes yes a hundred times yes!

The screams didnt stop, but dulled down to a feint baackgfound noise.

God how did Luo Binghe deal with this.

He raised his arm and sliced downwards into an arc and a portal opened up.

Luo Binghe gazed at it like the first sunset honest delight on his face.

He didnt think it would work the first time!

As he stepped through the portal still open he glanced at the sword and three it back into the portal.

“Yeet.”

Instead it slung back missing his neck to slam into the tree behind him.

The portal closed.

[Host and Xin Mo are bonded for life. Only destrkying Xin Mo can release its hold.]

Luo Binghe brushed a hand over his face, really?

At least that was his new goal. Destroy Xin Mo.

The system even had the nerve to make that as a bullet point on his list lf tasks.

[What else will host do now that he’s free?]

Well other than the abyss, he didnt have to do the other plot points.

He didnt have to return to cang Qiong. Or even go to Huan Hua.

He coukd just wander PIDW to his hearts content and fight monsters, rescue damsels, without marrying them.

It sounds like a dream-

[Warning! Character arrival! Task: defeat important character!]

Mobei-jun appeared even seeming surprised to see Luo Binghe.

What? Why? Why!?

[To fix plot holes ;)]

You tricked me!

Luo Binghe leaped back, evading Mobei-Jun attack- it was weird.

How weaker Mobei-Jun was.

He could kill him, just use Xin Mo and sate it for now…but Mobei-Jun was a loyal fighter…

And he wont be able to spar with Liu-Shishu again. As Luo Binghe kept dodging, considering expression on his face, he was unaware it kept pissing off Mobei-Jun.

“Take this seriously!”

Oh? Ah he was being rude. Compared to when he was a child, he was easily slammed into the ground.

Luo Binghes claws extended as he grabbed Mobei-Jun by the throat and slammed him into the ground.

Mobei-Jun grunted eyes wide to see Luo Binghe straddling on top of him heavenly sigil glowing with red demonic eyes looking down at Mobei-Jun like he was an interesting bug he decided to play with knstead of squish into the dirt beneith his biot.

“Do you lield and swear your loyalty to me, or should this one kill you know and save myself ghe trouble?”

Mobei-Jun swallowed eyes bright.

“This one will follow you, Junshang.”

[Congragulations! Luo Binghe is now a lord! Next task- defeat the saintess Sha Hualing to claim title as demon emporoer!]

Luo Binghe stood up leaving Mobei-Jun on the ground, onlivious to the ice kings new sexual awakening-

And stared at the system.

“Are you telling me that I HAVE to do those plots?”

[Yes! Become a demon emporer! And also be adopted into Huan Hua! Investigate plot points! Revenge on Shen Qingqiu is optional!]

Oh?

[Merging the realms is also optional!]

Hmm.

Even so, the reason Luo Binghe merged the realms was because of paper work.

He’ll need people, unlike the og Binghe who couldn’t trust anyone and had to hold his empire himself but also going on adventures and picking up flowers every five minutes? Garunteed his rule wouldn’t be great especially since Mobei-Jun kills his spy who also HAPPENED to be tge advisor.

“Mobei-Jun.” He glanced over, time to start planning.

“Not to be a pain, but this Binghe is tired. Can you be accomidating and give me a room? Prefferbly in your northern palace of course.”

Mobei-Jun looked stiff then nodded with a small bow.

“Of course Junshang.”

He opened up a portal and and was soon making his way to his new home.

Luo Binghe never liked the cold, in his former life or this one.

But he’ll have to deal.

____

First order of buisness after dealing wkth Mobei-Juns unruly court.

Linguang-Jun had to go.

Any infatuation Mobei-Jun had fizzled. Luo Binghe only sneered down at the blood smear of what was left of his uncle and said.

“Just some cannon fodder who didnt add to the plot, bound to backstab for further gain when given the chance.”

He had a point but still.

Then he demaded to see Shang Qinghua.

“Relax, Mobei. This lord only wants to reunite with his precious Shang-Shishu.”

Mobei-Jun kelt giving excuses, making Shamg Qinghua overworked on purpose so he would never meet their ecentric demon Lord.

Luo Binghe must have grown tired breaking Mobei-Juns hand and warning him that he was being polite but now enough was enough.

The three kf them sat at a table together, Luo Binghe spread like king, relaxed. A contrast to both Qinghua and Mobei-Jun who sat stiffly.

“So your the spy who ruined the immortal alliance and backstabbed Cang Qiong to align with demons! Never knew you had it in you Shishu!”

Shang Qinghua looked like he was going to vomit.

Hmm, the man was always…different.

More cold. And evil.

This guy was a gerbil.

“Hmm, first order of buisness. Mobei-Jun.” Luo Binghe looked up glaring at him.

“No killing Shang Qinghua. No matter what, even if he betrays yourself or this Lord being him to me to punish, understood?”

That seemed to surprise both.

“J-Junshang? Thank you for the order on my behalf, but ks there any reaoson…to…”

Shang Qinghua lost his vouce the more Luo Binghe stared at him.

What? Whys he so scared for- he doesnt know me yet or how string I am-

[Host has a resting scary face]

That was just cruel.

“This lord…likes paperwork.” Luo Binghe spoke aving his sleeves and moving forward to pour tea.

“Its calming, helps keep my thoughts organised. Excessive paper work, redundent paper work, incompetant paperwork is something I’d rather not do. If this lord plans on conquering the south or even plans on dessimating Huan Hua-“

Here Shang Qinghua twitched.

Other times he would’ve missed it.

But in the abyss any movement reflects so much.

“Havkng a base in the human realm and demon realm garuntess my hands will be full. Shang Qinghua is managing the northern realm as well as Cang qiong. Someone that competant will lighten the load.”

After making the tea he sliced his hand calmly watching the blood pour into the cup.

He saw from the corner of his eye, Shang Qinghua breath hitched, his face pale.

“Here Shishu, drink. Swear your loyalty to this demon lord.”

He wondered why Luo Binghe never did this to his close subordinates in the first place.

Make sure he’d never get betrayed and reward people under his emply with healing beneifts.

Join Luo Binghe we have health care!

“Hmm, why so hesitent Shang-Shishu. You wont bettay this lord so what worry is there?”

Shang Qimghua gulped then grabbed the cup chugging it down.

Luo Binghe laced his fingers together as he gazed at Qinghua.

“Hmm? Does Shang Qinghua know something?”

Shang Qinghua was back to his pale trembling self.

“N-no Junshang. This Qinghua knows nothing.”

…he’s lying.

Luo Binghe dropped the playful act and tilted his head.

Shang Qinghua immedietly started sweating buckets.

“Do you like reading Shang Qinghua?”

The other nodded “Y-yeah?”

Hmm.

“Theres a book this lord can’t stand, the worst literay piece ever known to man. I regret laying my eyes on such drivel. Its called Proud Immortal Demon way, has Shang Qinghua heard of it?”

It was instant, Shamg Qinghua almlst stopped breathing.

“Yes.”

Luo Binghe felt himself relax, and in turn Shang Qinghua looked like his strings were snapped.

Luo Binghe almost felt nad for him.

“Yes I didnt like that story, so I decided to change a few things in it.”

Shang Qinghua began to oerk.

And in turn Mobei-Jun began to glower-

Itvwas strange woth how a fee words he had Qinghua relaxing and leaning in closer.

Mobei-Jun would’ve guessed it was the blood but he felt no different.

…or maybe…

No. He felt no different.

Of course when Shang Qinghua came running to him screaming he of course hid him out the way until it was junshang trucking towards them.

“Airplane!”

“Ah dont kill me!”

Mobei-Jun stood stiff “Mobei-Jun get out kf my way.”

“No killing Qinghua. Your order.”

Luo Binghe blinked then scowled at Qinghua who stuck his tongue out at him.

The killing intent was string even Mobei-Jun almlst buckled from it.

Luo Binghe scowled “Fine!”

“If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve used my blood parasites dipshkt.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Hmm hmm.”

“Your inside me-“

“What? Ew why are you like this!?”

A/n:

Shen Yuan: Luo Binghe was influenced by Xin Mo it wasnt his fault.

Shen Yuan as Luo Binghe with Xin Mo: does nothing inappropriote and is a distinguished gentlemen.

-Shen Qingqiu trial

Luo Binghe wanted nothing to do with the scumbag and just let the consequences of his actions continue their course.

As Luo Binghe was investigating the origins if his parents (since the system was adament ablut it for some reason) he didnt think his inlut mattered.

But then it was his reputation that came into it.

He realised he should have….maybe…thought this through.

“Is it true that Shen Qingqiu abused his disciples?”

If it was one thing, Luo Binghe wanted to be fair. Shen Qingqiu never abused him, but he may have murdered Qui Haitangs brother.

But if Luo Binghe expressed nothing was wrong then the whole cultivation world will see him as a backstabbing disciple!

Luo Binghe was also…curious, why the original goods never invaded both dreams to see what really happened. Verify the evidence so to say.

“This Binghe has his own personal reasons to remain here at Huan Hua.”

Not to mention, Shen Qingqiu could blackmail him as being a heavenly demon.

Luo Binghe already felt like he could t relax and retire not with this threat looming at him.

“And Shen Qingqiu has never abused me.”

Here he saw Shen Qingqius twitch, and ignored it.

“But his past with Qui Haitang is something I am unfamiliar with.” He could tell the tide was changing against him.

To stand aside while his Shizun was being condemned? How unfilial.

“And so this Binghe has decided to personally investigate this case as a neutral party.”

Qui Haitang looked his way-

“What!? So you can hide evidence and help your scumbag Shizun!?” She yelled and Luo Binghe spoke.

“On the contrary, a rogue cultivator claiming a Peak Lord had murdered her entire family with only servants to survive? Where are such servants why is there not more witnessed to confirm this case? This could just as easily paint you Miss Haitang in a poor light with just the right defense.”

Luo Binghe gave her his best charming look, hoping to give off friendly big brother vibes to aplease her.

“Dont worry Miss Haitang. This Binghe will only uncover the truth on what happened that night and help you find peace.”

[Congragulations! +50 Charisma points for Miss Haitang! Possible love arc begin-]

No no no- it wasnt- no! Cancel love arc CANCEL!

-uses his dreams and finds out the truth from both.

Speaks to Shen Qingqiu in the water prison.

Hunts down servants. Who are scarred and reveal the abuse of Qui Jianlou and his crimes. How they speak kindly lf Shen Qingqiu who got them out.

How Luo Binghe accidently saved Shen Qinqqiu-

“Why help this Master? It can’t be because you want to play the part pf a loving disciple? After all,”

Shen Qinqgiu leaned close, speaking softly so others wouldn’t hear.

“This master tried to kill you three times after all.”

Luo Binghe smiled, “This Binghe knew he had bigger threats to face, after knowing the trials I had to overcome…you didn’t seem that scary all of a sudden. And this Binghe knows of worse things to come that taking revenge on my scum Shizun seems like a waste of time to me.”

After Luo Binghe removed the red immortal binding cables, tenderly holding Shen Qingqius hand and unwrapping each rope, his eyes furrowed at how thin Shen Qingqius wrists had become. Shen Qinqqiu had lost weight-

“Luo-Shizi.” Luo Binghe straightened, “ah Sect Leader Yue!” He bowed hastily.

“Apologies, this unfilial disciple never meant to disrespect Cang Qiong mountain-“

Instead the sect leader took his hands and made Luo Binghe look up, the look on his face was stra ge and made Luo Binghe uncomfortable.

And the worst thing happened.

The sect leader bowed to him!

“It was Cang Qiong who has done a great disservice to Luo Binghe.” Everyone in the room heard such a thing, Huan Hua bristled but all the lthers practically hungered for the drama.

“That we had failed in such a way that you felt that you couldn’t return and felt undeserving. Cang Qiong doors will always be open to Luo Binghe, he doesnt have to prove his worth or fear rejection to come home.”

Oh- oh!

He had to admit, Yue Qingyuan was similar to him, killing them with kindness. Making it seem as if they were the perfect sect family outside, and creating this humble narrative that Luo Binghe didnt deviate and spit on Cang Qiong but it was in fact a simple miscommunication!

Then Shen Qingqiu spoke as well, “Yes. Qing Jing Peak is your home, unless Luo Binghe doesn’t want to return to the mountain that took him in?”

Oh, now everyone was watching Luo Binghe.

But…they both could accuse him of being a demon, so why not use that instead?

Even so, both of them were looking at him expectantly, they all were.

“This Luo Binghe is grateful, and relieved to know that his worries were unnescary and that Cang Qiong still accepts me.”

Shen Qingqiu smirked, looking like he was about to win- until…

“But this Binghe is ungrateful. Huan Hua took me in after I was injured and this one wanted to repay that debt, maybe even foster good relations to both sects. And further more…This Binghe wanted to learn more about his past, the Luo River is closer to Huan Hua where I was born and wanted to learn about my past.”

Luo Binghe gave them both beseaching looks.

“Can this one still stay at Huan Hua until I find the answers I am looking for?”

Shen Qingqiu looked annoyed, the Palace Master even inturupted.

“Yes! Why Luo Binghe was forced to find sanctuary here and never returned to Cang Qiong is a mystery! And Shen Qinqgiu! You claimed he had died at the immortal alliance!”

Shen Qinqqiu gritted his teeth, and the others became more rowdy.

“Luo Binghe will remain here, until he feels comfortable speaking the truth and has no fear of the power and influence both of you have.”

Luo Binghe was touched this father figure was coming to his aid, but he couldn’t be more wrong, he was a demon emporer. He had a lot of power and influence.

________

“Afterall I’m the scum Shizun! And you are the victim! Always blaming me when in reality you hurt yourself,” luo Binghe paused huh?

“What? No- never ind that.” Why was Shen Qingqiu upset anyway? “Look I’m at Huan Hua now, far away from you. And we can both pretend the other doesn't exist!” Then Luo Binghe paused.

“What are you doing taking missions so close to Huan Hua in the first place?”

Shen Qinqgiu ignored him.

“What this master does with his own time is his own buisness.”

Okay.

Even so, Luo Binghe figured Madam Meiyan may help with Xin Mo, he can only spend so many b-points on suppressing it, but if it acted up in Huan Hua he may accidently trigger a papapa scene with one of the women and he didnt need that!

Why was it that no matter what mission and what he wanted to do, Shen Qingqiu was there!?

Always in trouble, always causing trouble, really playing the petty scum villain and being an overall pain in the neck!

Xin Mo kept telling Luo Binghe to just kill him and one of these days he may just listen to it!

-wife plot with SQQ

He had no idea why, Luo Binghe was on his way to another peak to investigate his mothers origins Meng Mo found a lead of a familair disciple who knew Binghes ‘mother’

Also the imposter syndrome he figured Origianal goods would lose face but this Luo Binghe was only looking into the plot, if his parents were alive he doubted they would be close,

_____________________

And this is where I lost steam and had no idea what to write next, that LBH/sy is ignoring sqq and focusing on himself but when the others in trouble he goes "Ah well its the scum villain who cares...but I have to ask questions I'm the protagonist, and I want to ask questions about this plothole and such-" accidently uncovers Sqq past and reveals it was self-defense.

Whoops?

Now SQQ wants Luo Binghe back at Cang Qiong NOT because he cares about the little beast- it looks bad on HIM as a Peak Lord that he has some unruly disciple avoiding his peak like he's some abused little maiden running away from her husband.

Shen Qingqiu would break his fan at the thought, that little brat loved it! Shen Qingqiu has never raised a hand to the beast in years!

Luo Binghe even claims he hates him, that he's a scum Shizun and never cared so why does Binghe go out of his way to save Shen Qingqiu? instead of washing his hands of him, it doesn't make sense....

_______________________

Yeah I do want SQQ and Binghe to be end game, like SY is fascinated by SQQ as a character and has more interest in him than the women of the harem.

#svsss #fanfic #idea #disciple shen yuan #disciple Luo Binghe #Shen Yuan IS Luo Binghe #shen Qingqiu #Bingqiu #SCUM

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hiroshiii13 · 8 months ago

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Head Disciple Binghe x Young Master SY #Bingqiu thoughts

Sometimes I think about Binghe that didn’t have to lose his parents. Didn’t have to go through the abyss and didn’t have to fight for the acknowledgment of his Shizun.

He’d be the darling of the demonic and cultivation world; doted upon in his younger years and a respected cultivator after his coming of age. He’d be self-assured, almost cocky, the way young masters who have never experienced being wronged are.

But Binghe would always have the skills to back it up, besides his innate talent, Su Xiyan, head of HHP, made sure that his son was grounded and hardworking. In fact, he commands HHP when his parents would up and travel for months at a time.

He’s forthright, which he learned from his mother, yet empathetic and charming, which he got from his romantic father.

I still think Bingqiu would be a thing. They meet as desk mates (borrowing this @/Gusu Lan arc) and wouldn’t hit it off at the start.

SY has always admired Binghe from the stories he’s heard from his older siblings. Binghe, the leader of the next generation. He looked forward to meeting him.

Imagine his surprise when the first day of his excursion led to sparring with said leader of the next generation and his humiliating utmost defeat in .005 seconds. He wanted to look cool in front of him but he can forego this embarrassment. It’s okay!!! This was expected from Binghe!!

But what was not okay was the harsh training at HHP. SY could not help but feel a little resentful towards BH. He was the third son in a merchant family. His family’s cultivation was in refining pills and artifacts, you could say it’s 80% marketing and 20% refining even, so he had never done hard labor in his life!!

He almost regretted saying he would join HHP for the summer instead of joining another sect specializing in botany and alchemy, which was his specialization.

Binghe, as the head disciple in charge of training, provided a plan that was standard in his sect. While he does enjoy seeing this pretty gege scrunching his brows, pursing his lips, flushed like a tomato during drills, (Heh.) he does feel pity and gives him a little less reps.

But it’s in the study portions where SY shines. LBH is astounded with SY’s encyclopedic knowledge.

Reminiscent of the child-like wonder he experienced as TLJ told him stories before bedtime. Of monsters that can swallow suns and plants with roots so deeply in the earth that it shakes. He learns later on of course that these were mere exaggerations but at that time, as SY babbles on about plant no. 4892, he could not help but feel that same fascination.

Their relationship starts getting better. Binghe would pick his desk mates brain despite knowing (some) of the answers, the other would prattle on, patiently teaching.

From an outsiders point of view, LBH looked indulgent, a soft smile ever present on his face, while his deskmate would fan himself while explaining, obviously enjoying the attention. And who could blame him?? He was teaching THE Luo Binghe! From then on, Binghe would teasingly call him Shizun.

Despite SY being slightly older than BH, he is the youngest son, (he has 1 meimei) in their family. Compared to Binghe who was raised to meet certain expectations, SY had a more unrestrained behavior. If he wanted a snack, he would get it. If he wanted to nap, he snuck it in.

And nothing could stop Binghe from doting on him on their free time. As an only child, he never had someone to spoil or play with so he recaptures some of his childhood like this. Sharing snacks, showing parts of HHP and sometimes sparring in the fields between laughter.

But SY’s pride cannot take being coddled, he’s older than him! so he dotes back. Bringing him refined pills for his cultivation, sending in some rare herbs and animal skin. (He is working his nepo baby network overtime!)

When he teaches BH during self-study, he compliments him when he gets things right while patting his head. And how BH thrives from being dotted on, now at his grown age! LBH feels lucky.

He found someone, who was not only smart and chatty, but was thoughtful and indulgent towards him. He… he really liked SY. Meanwhile SY found himself even more gently stroking his hair. He can’t wait to share to his siblings how the great LBH was completely docile from his head patting. SY could not help ruffling his curly hair, almost pulling. (As for what that would awaken later on, we won’t discuss.)

They part after that summer, but keep in touch through letters. Both feeling a longing to meet. SY decides to pick up a sword and learn how to fly it. He can definitely learn it and fly to HH and casually meet BH. His siblings give it a week til he gives up. But surprisingly 1 week turns into 2, then a month, then on the 6th month he could fly long distances.

His nausea was still as bad as ever but he can endure, he will learn how to endure. As to why he didn’t tell Binghe though? he didn’t know why he wanted to keep this as a surprise.

—

The Immortal Alliance Conference was upon them, and SY had received BH’s letter and how he might not be able to respond as quickly for the time being. But in fact, he was very much aware of the event. He even haughtily bet a few hundred spirit stones when someone mockingly said LBH would not place.

No one could escape his scalding critique had anyone even breathed wrongly towards BH. The public ate their melon seeds while watching another one succumb to that monster. They could not outbid him and even more so, out talk him. What a rabid fanboy. He gained notoriety overnight.

So imagine their surprise when the conference was over. How LBH saw SY, how he ran and hugged him, bombarding him questions of how he got there. LBH showing a small cut the size of a nail, a slight glassy look in his eyes as he retold his hardship and triumph.

The passersby knew it was an exaggeration, they were all watching him effortlessly kill the demons!! His confidence practically oozing. Even the ladies fainted against such charisma. What is this?? The fiersome leader selling meng??

AND THE DEVIL INCARNATE, who ate his every opponent in a bloodless battle, was suddenly a gentleman, waving his fan with a sweet smile, talking softly while patting the champion’s head.

WTF??

They take a few more years of friendship before eventually tying the knot but their families have long known each other since those two have been inseparable. SY spends his days at HHP in the summers while LBH goes with the other’s family in winter. TLJ still feels a little sour in his heart that his son would spend his bdays w/ SY more than them.

The 2 men were even more sticky when they got married. Waking up, preparing meals, cleaning up, lounging, it’s as if they could not get enough of the other. The Regret of Chunshan exists btw, but rather than an angsty story of abandonment and conflict, it is said that they just, really, really loved each other for a lifetime.

(Of course the papapa is front and center!! LMY writes about a rich, young master fanboy and his seemingly respectable cultivator idol having loving, disrespectful, s/ex. She delivers always!)

END.

#svsss #mxtx #luo binghe #bingqiu #shen qingqiu #hiroshi drabble

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sincere1ystar · 4 months ago

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Seashore Sweetheart

sailor finnick x mermaid reader au

Growing up by the sea Finnick’s heard stories about all sorts of creatures who live down in the abyss called the ocean. He’s heard of fishes, sea monsters and of course mermaids. The mythical creatures that some fear and others are fascinated by never struck much interest with Finnick.

With him being a sailor one would except that Finnick would be familiar with all sorts of creatures that reside within the sea. And he is, he could rant about the different fishes and dolphins he sees on a day to day basis. Maybe a bit about sea monsters too from the stories he’s heard as a young child. But mermaids? He knows everything there is to know about them, who doesn’t? To him, mermaids are just like humans except they have tails instead of legs. They’re simple creatures aren’t they?

Atleast that’s what he thinks before a typical day in the summer where he comes to the docks later than he usually does and all the sailors are already gone for the day.

With everyone already gone leaving him with no work to do, Finnick sits by the shore .The sounds of the waves fill his ears and he can’t help but close his eyes and smile. A feeling of solace washes over him near as the tide comes to shore and washes away all of his worries.

His eyes open suddenly when he hears a splashing noise. With the others gone until evening who could have caused that noise?

“Surely not the fish”, Finnick thinks to himself, “Those little creatures can’t come this close to the shore. No sea animal could. But then what could it be?”

He plays it off as one of the guys playing a prank on him until he catches the sight of a tail. Not just any tail, a mermaid tail.

“It must be the heat getting to me. Mermaids don’t come this close to the surface.. No no it’s just the summer heat making me see things”, he thinks to himself.

The mermaid slowly comes up to shore and her eyes meets Finnick’s. When your eyes meet his, it’s then when Finnick realizes he doesn’t know a single thing about mermaids at all. Yes he’s heard stories about their lucious hair and shiny tails, but he never knew how beautiful one could be.

The other sailors usually describe Finnick as the “charmer” of the group, yet here is in front of the prettiest being he’s ever seen, with his words stuck in his throat.

You on the other hand seem too curious for your own good as you see the tall sailor with tanned skin and with eyes that reminded you of the shells you used to collect when you were a little mermaid.

You’ve heard about humans. You’ve even went as far as to spot a few walking on the sandy beaches, but the way you were looking at him made you realize you’ve never truly took the time to really look at a human before, let alone a man.

Before he can say anything, you cut him right to it as you ask, “Are you really human?”

Usually he would scoff at a silly question like that, but instead he was occupied by the sound of her sweet voice running like honey through his ears. Him and his buddies would laughs about fools who spent their days being captivated by the melodic voices of mermaids, but now it seems like it wasn’t so foolish after all or maybe. Or maybe he too is now a fool, he decides.

“A mermaid… A real mermaid. You are real aren’t you?”, he babbled as he watches you in awe.

“Depends. You’re a real human aren’t you?”, you replied as you study his form.

“Well yes what else would I be? A turtle?”, he remarked.

This causes a laugh from you as you add, “Well I guess that means I’m a real mermaid then”.

After that encounter Finnick finds himself purposefully coming to the docks late to catch a sight of you all while you found yourself just conveniently wanting to get some sun the same time he’s around.

He shows you all sorts of objects that aren’t common in your home in the ocean, or “human inventions” as you would call them. Finnick adores how you treat the mundane things he uses in his everyday life as the most interesting treasures.

You swim down to the deepest parts of the ocean and bring back pearls that are the same shape as his eyes. Other times you bring him objects you’ve found in sunken ships and ask him to identity them for you.

Finnick never would have imagined that he would would fall in love with a mermaid, let alone be friends with one. Yet it seemed to work with you. You would help him open his eyes under water so you could show him little things in the sea he never noticed before and he would carry you in his arms around town giving you a little tour at night when everyone else was sleeping.

On days where you’re apart, you can’t help but think about him. You think to yourself that it would never work out since you’re a mermaid and he’s a human, yet that doesn’t stop you from falling asleep on the chest of a statue you’ve found that reminds you of Finnick.

Sometimes you see him on his ship with the other sailors. You don’t approach him though, just quietly watch as you hide behind a rock. He can’t help but smile as he sees those gorgeous eyes of yours that he dreams about every night.

One night when the two of you are sitting by the shore watching the stars like you always do, Finnick can’t help but admire you in the moonlight.

“You ever wish you had legs instead of a tail?”, he asks softly.

“Sometimes. Only to be closer to you, to relate to you more. Maybe then we would have made an ideal match”, you whisper back in response.

“You’re already perfect. In fact I think you’re it for me, mermaid or human doesn’t matter”, Finnick objected.

Your mind can’t comprehend his words. “He can’t be serious”, you think to yourself. Him, a human sailor who probably already has many girls who would be eager to be with him wants to be with… a mermaid?

“You must be out of your mind”, you chuckle, “My mother was right sometimes humans are a bit mindless”.

“Maybe I am”, he responds simply not leaving any room for argument.

You’re about to give another one of your witty responses like you always do, but then your eyes meet his. Just like when you first met, you can’t help but be mesmerized. It’s then when you realize that you don’t want, no you can’t just let him go. You can’t just have him as some human you occasionally visit, you want to have him in a. different way.

The way Finnick looks at you makes you think he can read your thoughts. “Maybe humans aren’t so stupid after all”, you think as your eyes meet his lips and he takes initiative.

He never thought he would be kissing a mermaid, but when he finally did, he knew your lips were going to haunt him forever. Not like he’d complain though, it’s a small price to pay to spend his days listening to your honeyed laugh at dawn and looking into your dreamy eyes at dusk.

#finnick odair x reader #finnick x reader #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games #thg #finnick x reader fluff #finnick odair

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jals-stuff · 7 months ago

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short washing machine headcanons...

How would the Mashle characters react if they found their s/o stuck in the washing machine? + personal ratings (I know, no one asked)

For Mash, Dot, Finn, Lemon, Lance, Rayne, Abel, Abyss, Wirth, Margarette, Carpaccio, Orter, Renatus, Ryoh, Kaldo.

Warnings: SLIGHT spoiler for Margarette? Other than that, none. ratings are purely subjective, please don't bury me alive.

Note: none of this is canon so some charas might be ooc, don’t take it too seriously! Might write for Domina, Meliadoul, Famin and Delisaster one day, idk

MASH...

He’s probably busy eating or making cream puffs when he hears you call for help. It isn’t common for you to do such a thing so he freaks out a little bit at first, but upon finding out the mess you’ve made while trying to empty the washing machine, he just stands there, completely dumbfounded.

He’s a little dense, so it takes him a minute or two to figure out that you’re actually stuck. He’s never been in this situation before, therefore he’s sweating a little and panicking internally. “T-t-t-t-this is bad. I-I-I have to help them out.”

Pulling on your legs would be a terrible idea, considering his strength, and he’s just completely clueless on how to get you out.

Would 100% rip open the washing machine and leave you completely astonished as he does so, then pat your shoulder in a comforting way with a thumbs up.

Overall very cute, even tried to comfort you after such a “traumatising” ordeal. 8/10.

DOT...

He thinks he’s the main character, we all know it. He’s probably checking himself out in the mirror and saying cool protagonist lines when he hears you call out for help, and suddenly, his main quest has changed!

He walks in on you, stuck head first in the washing machine, and much like Mash, he just looks at you for a bit before taking in the situation. Of course, he’s going to help you, but he needs to gloat about it first, you know it.

“Damn, how could you ever get out of here without my help, huh?” He’d just take on dramatic poses that he assumes are cool (they are not), and try to pull you out by himself. “Can’t be helped, huuuh?”

Despite all his efforts, he doesn’t manage to get you out and he just starts mumbling things about the washing machine being a worthy opponent before actually grabbing his phone and calling someone for help.

Dot is just being Dot, after all, but he’s full of good intentions. 5/10, at least you had a good laugh..?

FINN...

Finn immediately interrupts his studying when he hears you call out for him, and he’s running like his own life depends on it! “What’s wrong, (Y/N)?!”

Upon seeing you stuck in there head first, he gets into panic mode! It isn’t completely horrible either and it’s just purely annoying to be stuck, but Finn sees it differently. If you called for help, then SURELY you must be terrified or in pain!

He’s going to pace around the room for a minute, wondering “How do I get them out? How do I get them out? How do I get them out?” before deciding that he’s going to take it step by step!

Gently guides you out of the washing machine without too much trouble and doesn’t judge you even once for it! He gives you a big hug afterwards because he’s convinced you were very scared (you weren’t, but he was)!

I physically cannot give Finn anything under 9/10. He is bebe.

LEMON...

She’s probably making a cute keychain for you when you call out for her. She will make you her utmost priority and cheerily trot up to you. “Yeeees~ what is it?”

You’re… stuck. She blushes dramatically and screams out something like “Kyaaah! Just like in those movies! You perv!” But then carefully inspect the position you’re in and how the hell you got stuck in there.

She’s going to try pretty much everything in her power, from pulling you out to switching your position and figuring out a way to painlessly get you out of there…

And eventually get you out! However, be warned: she will give you the side eye with a blush every time she sees you for at least a month and giggle. Who knows what’s going through her head?

Helpful, cute, and funny. 8/10 would recommend.

LANCE...

He’s reading a book when you call for him. He will automatically assume something bad happened (well, technically yes, but.. yeah) and quickly run to the laundry room. “(Y/N), what happened?!”

Looks down on you without you knowing. The display is pretty ridiculous and laughable, but he won’t make a sound. He’s just going to pat your back. “I’ll get you out of here.”

He’s a very smart guy, so he just has to look at the way you’re stuck for a few seconds before figuring out the most efficient way to help you, and it takes him very little time.

Will sigh and shake his head in disapproval, but internally scream when you pout at him for sighing because he thinks you’re adorable. He’s going to look away and clear his throat so you can’t see his blush.

Efficient and definitely nice, he won’t even tease you about it. He did look down on you though, 7/10.

RAYNE...

Where is he anyway? He’s taking his sweet time when you call for him, and when he does finally arrive, you’re met with his usual neutral voice. “Yes, I heard you calling the first time.”

You can’t tell, but when he walks in on you stuck like this, he gives you the look… but again, it’s probably his neutral face. How’d you get stuck in there anyway? You really can’t do anything by yourself, can you?

Much like Lance, he’s extremely smart, so he’s going to pull you out of there very quickly, and he sighs while doing so. How can you be so clumsy? It’s almost as if you did it on purpose.

He’s about to lecture you but notices that you’re very embarrassed and can’t even look him in the eyes, so his expression softens just a little and he decides not to say anything mean and just gives you a comforting pat on the head. “Don’t get stuck again, alright?”

Very thoughtful despite the cold look he gives you, efficient and nice. 8/10.

ABEL...

Abel rarely stays away from you for very long, so he was probably there when it happened and he saw you getting stuck. He also noticed how you couldn’t get out by yourself. “It appears you need some help.”

You’re now aware that he saw you and it’s just fully embarrassing, but he’s part of the clever ones, so you’re pretty sure he will help you out quickly. Or will he? He’s always been a little odd, even around you anyway.

It’s really curious to him, how you managed to get stuck that fast yet you just can’t get out by yourself. Will definitely ask if you did it on purpose while keeping a straight face and blank tone.

Gets you out in a longer time than he should’ve because he was busy trying to understand how you got in there in the first place. He won’t judge you for it, but he will absolutely bring it up around other people like it’s no big deal.

It’s nice that he was already there, did help, but embarrasses you in front of your friends. 6/10

ABYSS...

No matter what he’s doing when you call out for him or where he is, he will Acceleraise his way to you immediately! You are his top 1 priority!

He will however take a second to appreciate the display and chuckle a little bit to himself like “Hah… cute.” before actively looking for a solution because he can literally feel your embarrassment.

“How did you manage to do this?” He mumbles, and makes sure that you aren’t hurt or in any pain first of all. He will 100% reassure you through the whole process!

Abyss is smart and will get you out quickly and without making fun of you. Unlike Abel, he won’t mention it around anyone else, and makes a self note: needs to buy a bigger washing machine so you don’t get stuck again.

Sweet and efficient, very nice and comforting. 10/10, would get stuck again.

WIRTH...

He’s training and trying to improve his capacities when you call out for him. He’s used to you getting into such and such situations, so he just takes his time now. “What is it this time, (Y/N)?”

A bit dumbfounded when he sees the way you’ve managed to get stuck, will crackle up in laughter because as used as he is to see stuff like that with you, it always manages to surprise him.

He’s going to keep giggling as he helps you through, and you just wish you could wipe that smirk off his face but you can’t really do anything and just wait for him to help.

He even hesitates and feels like he should leave you like that, but he doesn’t want you to be upset at him, so he will get you out pretty easily and tease you about it later on. “Aww, c’mon, don’t sulk now~!”

Kind of a jerk, but in a lovable way. You need to find something to tease him back with, 7/10 though.

MARGARETTE...

They’re probably rehearsing or composing another one of these musical masterpieces to play on the piano when their beloved calls out for help.

They’ll gently chuckle and crouch down next to you. “Oh my! How’d you get in such a situation, dear?” Their arms are a little too bulky to reach out for you from the outside, so they’ll shift into their true form and easily reach for your shoulders so they can pull you out!

Margarette is one of the smart characters and will get you out of the washing machine in no time, very gently and gracefully, making sure you don’t get hurt or anything in the process.

Will give you a hug and gentle pats on the head to comfort you. “There, there~.” They won’t tease you about it nor make fun, but will definitely chuckle a little upon remembering it.

A mother figure, very nice and gentle. Cannot wait to hear the masterpiece they were busy composing, 10/10.

CARPACCIO...

He’s experimenting on lab rats and seems very engrossed with his occupation, so it will take him a little bit of time to hear you calling out for him.

Freezes when he sees you stuck head first inside the washing machine and stares blankly without a word for way longer than necessary. He’s got a little smirk and his lower eyelids rise up in amusement.

“Heh.” is all you can hear before he makes his way towards you and inspects you while he considers leaving you like this for a bit longer because it sure as hell is funny for him. But he knows you’ll be upset and he doesn’t want you to give him the silent treatment.

If he doesn’t find a quick way to get you out, he will stab his way through the washing machine (and give you a good scare as he does that) to free you! Terrifyingly sweet, he’s just staring with a very slight smirk and you know he will tease you about it.

Mean but at least he helped you out. You got scared for your life even though you know he wouldn’t hurt you. 7/10

ORTER...

He’s reading a book and he’s sure as hell he heard you call for him. He will carefully put down his book and look for the source of the muffled cry he just heard.

Despite being quite the jerk around others, Orter is a mature man, and he isn’t going to make any snarky remarks or make fun of you. He will sigh upon seeing you squirm, crouching next to you to check the mess you’ve been making.

“Calm down. If you’ve managed to find a way in, there’s obviously a way out.” Very rational throughout the whole process and effectively gets you out of the washing machine, inspecting you afterwards to make sure you aren’t hurt.

Much like Abyss, he will make a mental note to buy a larger washing machine, and kindly help you back up without teasing you or ever bringing it up around anyone else. If you apologise, he’ll tell you it’s nonsense.

Very logical and calm, efficient and polite. 10/10.

RENATUS...

Sure as hell taking a nice nap when he hears that scream of his name that could wake up the dead. He groans and stands up to lazily make his way to the laundry room.

He whistles when he sees you stuck there and gives a snarky chuckle. “Woah, just for me?” and you can physically feel your face heat up. He’s going to get closer to check the way you’re stuck and…

Whack! He’ll give your butt a playful slap before helping you out and laughing out loud at the ridiculous situation. After all, it’s not everyday that he gets to see his s/o in such an embarrassing state!

He will however stop teasing you if he sees you get uncomfortable and wrap his arms around your waist to comfort you with a softer chuckle. He might tease you later if he ever remembers this happened.

Again, jerk but in a lovable way. You need to give him that spank back tho, 7/10.

RYOH...

Like Abyss, you are his utmost priority and he will immediately drop anything he’s doing (probably admiring his reflection in a mirror) when he hears you call out for him!

He’ll chuckle when he sees you stuck in there, and you can tell his mind is running! But there is no time for this. If Ryoh's s/o is stuck in the washing machine, he must overcome this trial!

Will get you out in a manly way (whatever that means!) and you’ll even wonder how he did it so easily, that’s how flawless his whole performance is.

He might tease you if you’re comfortable with it, winking at you way too many times and making it pretty obvious what kind of ideas he has. If you aren’t, it’s also fine, he’s just going to cuddle you into forgetting it.

Ryoh is just a W man. There’s nothing else to say, 10/10.

KALDO...

It’s good that you called him, he was about to ruin yet another perfectly fine dish by pouring an ungodly amount of honey on top of it. He will pout in disappointment but come check what’s up.

“(Y/N), dear, are you having fun in there~?” He teases with a chuckle. “Can I join?” But upon hearing your frustrated groan, he will go into thinking mode and consider his options.

His first thought is to use honey to make it easier to pull you out, but he quickly dismisses it. He will, instead, pull on your clothes to avoid hurting your skin when you get out.

Will get you out, but your clothes are ruined, so he’ll give you his coat so you can cover up and not be too embarrassed. He might bring it up later and pretend he forgot how embarrassing it was for you, but really, he just wants to tease you.

Playful and cute, but he did ruin that shirt you liked a lot. 7/10.

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itsmm4hiii · 14 days ago

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Heated Beginnings - [HAWKS] Keigo Takami

Synopsis: Was there an ulterior motive to Hawks' arrival at Endeavor's agency? perhaps... Unable to keep his composure at the sight of someone who already has his heart but doesn't know it yet, he wonders if he could over come the one thing stopping him, her father...

Pairing: Hawks X Endeavor's daughter reader

. . .

‘Interning at your fathers?’

Perplexed, a gentle but warm-welcoming smile softly perks on your flushed cheeks; one that drives him mad. Smoothly, his eyes dip down to your partially exposed bra peeking through from your blouse not being fully buttoned up as you bent down, your fingers flicking through the pages of the stacked paper pile in front of you. You tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as you stand up, grinning ear to ear at the overly confident second ranked pro-hero.

Matching your smile, his head tilts softly as pro-hero Hawks stares at the one thing he desires and simultaneously the one thing he couldn’t have. You were the only one he questioned and criticised his appearance; he questioned if his hair looked good, if he had anything in his teeth and above all if he smelt good.

‘Yeah.’ you pause, ‘A lil’ summer internship here and there to help during the busy season you know?’

‘Does he pay you?’

Your fingers slid out from the hefty stack of paperworks, he could tell she found what he had asked amusing, by the raised eyebrows and the smug look on your face. You shake your head, somewhat shocked, Hawks’ smile at the brillant attempt to see your more than he usually does.

‘You know… if you interned under me I’d pay you in full and take you out to lunch daily.’

Amber cheeks you couldn’t help but show sway at his obviously flirtatious gesture even apparent in your eyes.

‘Hawks, I’d love to but… you and I can both imagine how well that would go over with Endeavor. I wouldn’t know who he'd kill first…’

You giggled to yourself, however found yourself knowing that what you had just joked about would be your reality if you dared to work for the competition especially for Hawks, your father’s apparent allied enemy. You step away from the counter and stand in front of him, he adjusts his posture, making sure his muscles flexed as he stood tall.

‘The offer will still stan-’

‘What offer?!’ irritated, his voice boomed against the echoing four walls of the main entrance to Endeavor’s agency,

Biting the inner side of your cheek, your eyes split from Hawks to the daunting figure of your father, Endeavor standing at your side. Awkwardly smiling as if nothing happened, you stare smiling at Endeavor as if trying to skip over the topic knowing he would blow his casket over it. In contrast, Hawks’ face contorts in annoyance that his little flirting was cut short by his future father-in-law.

Softly underneath your breath you reassure both you and your father that nothing happened. Just as the words slipped out of your mouth, Hawks had another idea.

‘-A date.’ proud of his actions he pauses for dramatic effect,

‘YOU WHAT?!’ Endeavor snarls viciously,

‘I offered to pay the bill but your lovely daughter insisted we split.’ Hawks says whimsically,

Concerned you study the face of your father, his eye twitches steadily in aggravation and disbelief. Unable to fathom what had come out of the lips of his new enemy as you braced yourself for him to explode any minute now. Sidekicks begin to surround the little scene caused by Hawks, their words to cool Endeavor down fall short and as he turns on his heels stopping for a minute. His head slowly turns to you and he was not above pulling the fatherly disappointment card, especially when he felt betrayed by his own daughter.

‘We will speak later.’ he grumbles quietly to you, his hand firmly gripping Hawks’ shoulder dragging him to the abyss of the escalator with no return,

In disbelief you shook your head grinning from ear to ear, you refused to believe what had just happened and after the warmth of your cheeks had settled down you returned back to your assigned work unable to get rid of the smile that kept on your face.

. . .

The tips of his wings scorched and his cheeks singed, though at the first sight of you he couldn’t help but find himself smirking. You catch a small glimpse of him from the corner of your eyes, one that stops you in your tracks and a smug smile appears on your lips at his braving of challenging the so-called beast. Files tossed aside mindlessly, noticing your father’s attention had slipped away from the little situation; it was your best shot not to get caught.

You quickly dart down numbers on a flimsy sticky note. Peeling it off, you awkwardly jogs across the entrance of the agency, your actions being noticed by Hawks who finds himself obsessing over your small rebellion against your own father. You fold the sticky note nervously, slipping it sneakily into his pocket. Your action goes unnoticed for the most part but Endeavor finds himself staring at his daughter in close proximity to the man he would rather die than see you with.

Positioning himself between his daughter and the man trying to steal his daughter away from him. He glares down his nose at Hawks, who smiles as the note you had just given him is twirled slowly within his fingertips without Endeavor knowing.

‘If it looks like you roughhoused Mr Hawks- which you did- I wouldn’t want that affecting your public image dad.’ quick-witted you softly smile, obviously playing the “dad” card to get extra brownie points with him,

‘Fine.’ Endeavor grumbles walking away expecting you to follow,

You begin to follow suit, our head soft swivels over your shoulder catching his gaze momentarily. Your hand rises slowly up towards the side of your face, motioning him to call you in which he nods, smiling happily as he is escorted out of the agency by a large security team.

He shoots back a look, watching his future date return to her overly-protective father’s side, pulling out your small act of rebellion as he holds your phone number in his balled hand, excited that he got exactly what he wanted out of this, a little date with Endeavor’s younger daughter.

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha hawks #jjk x y/n #hawks #takami keigo #anime fanfic #anime x reader #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction

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soulconductor · 2 years ago

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WHAT CRYSTAL ARE YOU?

TAGGED BY: @duoscuri TAGGING: holds up a mirror

𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐙𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄.

above all you seek truth. you want to understand how the world works. you want to take things apart and put them back together again. your methods of dealing with stress and fear is to understand where it comes from. you face your demons with a focused mind and readied fists. you see everything so clearly, except yourself. it's so much harder to look inward than it is to analyze everyone else. what are you so afraid of looking at? what is it within yourself you don't want to touch? maybe one day you'll be strong enough to expose the parts of yourself you're afraid to understand.

#` what does the abyss see when it looks at you? ( study )#yeah this checks out

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gtgbabie0 · 2 years ago

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Nightmares

{You have a nightmare on the jet and Spencer comforts you}

Hope you enjoy lovelies!! 💕

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Nightmares were something that practically comes hand in hand with your job, I mean it was only natural that you would get them. Hotch said himself that he would be more worried if you didn’t get them and you suppose he’s right.

They were never easy to get through, the overwhelming weight that sits against your chest or how your heart seems to completely freeze with fear in your rib cage. You can’t really do anything to stop your own mind from betraying you.

If you had known that one of these particular nightmares would invade your exhausted mind you might’ve thought twice before sleeping on the jet's sofa.

You were curled up, knees tucked towards your chest with Spencer's cardigan draped over you as you slept. Spencer didn’t sleep instead he chose to fiddle with the pack of cards, flicking through them, silently thinking. He would occasionally glance over to you making sure you were okay.

He was observant, he noticed the way your eyebrows pulled together with an almost painful expression, how your lip quivered ever so slightly and his chest tightened at the pitiful whimpers that were muffled behind your clenched teeth.

He’s quick to kneel beside the sofa, rushing to your side. His fingers brush against your warm cheek as he tries to coax you from your nightmare. And he’s glad for your sake that everyone has fallen asleep, not that you should be ashamed, he’s told you millions of times there’s nothing to be ashamed about, but yet the mind is a very complex thing.

He watches in panic as your breathing becomes more and more erratic, and he feels hopeless. There’s nothing he can do but entwine his hand with yours hoping that it would bring you some kind of comfort.

“You’re okay, I’m right here” he whispers, keeping his voice down as he glances over his shoulder.

Emily was resting her head against JJ’s shoulder, both sleeping despite the uncomfortable position. Hotch, Derek even Gideon had all fallen asleep. He couldn’t blame them, tonight had dragged on for what felt like years.

It always seemed to be the same thing, your nightmares. Running towards something and never getting there fast enough and recently it had been Spencer that plages your mind. His voice calls for you weakly somewhere within the abyss and to try so hard to get to him, but your attempts are fruitless, and all you were met with are horrid images of him.

You gasp, scrambling to sit up with your shaky hand against your chest, your eyes brimming with tears as you look down at Spencer, sighing in relief, he's okay. He sits next to you a cautious smile etched onto his lips.

“I’ve got you- you’re okay,” he says as he holds you close, his arms wrapped securely around your body as you take deep breaths, your head resting against his shoulder.

He can feel your heartbeat and the way your shoulders shake as you try to stifle the cries that fall from your lips, his hand soothes the expanse of your back as he rests his chin on the top of your head.

“Spence, I- I can’t- I couldn’t” Your voice is hoarse and strained, and the sound sends pain ricocheting throughout his chest and it only makes him hold you tighter.

He presses a delicate kiss to your temple before he pulls away slightly, his hands gently grasping at your forearms as he studies your teary face.

“I’m okay, see? I’m right here” he promises taking your shaky hands, bringing them to cup either side of his face, "We're almost home". He knows your fears and how they seep into your subconscious mind, most importantly how they all seem to revolve around him.

It hurts him to know that he’s the cause of your worries and it hurts him even more knowing that he can’t really do anything, but what he can do is comfort you when they get bad, to bring you back to shore and hold you close to him, and he does without complaint. He loves taking care of you.

You nod your head as your thumb grazes along his cheek. Your eyes scan over his face, “I’m sorry” you whisper, resting your hands on his lap as he holds them, his thumb smoothing over the curves of your knuckles.

He looks at you with slight confusion, “No, you don't have to apologise- it’s what I’m here for” The compassion that bleeds into his tone and the way his gentle eyes never leave yours makes your chest tighten.

Spencer Reid was the kindest person you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, he had so much love to give. You were so happy that he shared his love with you.

He smiles as he wipes away the stray tears, “I love you Spencer” you whisper, leaning your forehead against his.

“I love you too” he presses a loving kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling away. He taps his lap motioning for you to rest your head and you do so, enjoying the way he gently plays with your hair.

He looks down at you with love-filled eyes, “I’m right here- with you, I promise, I’m not going anywhere” he tells you, watching how you fight the sleep that hangs over you like a storm cloud.

You decide to trust his words, letting yourself relax into his touch as he drapes his cardigan back over your shoulders, and you both soon find yourselves in a dreamless sleep.

The jet will land soon, and you’ll both be woken by the teasing words of your friends. If you both knew that then maybe the pair of you would’ve thought twice before falling asleep on the jet's sofa together.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

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pinchofhoney · 1 year ago

Note

Sorry I'm invading your inbox again but I wanna see what you do with this song. Can be with any character. I just wanna see what amazing thing you come up with (when you have the time of course)

the broken self

carlisle cullen x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

warning: esme simply does not exist in this one, mention of the tough past, our reader is not a vampire and i don't think she's aware of what carlisle is

summary: If I could start again, I would find a way. Now, you've been given the chance, so what's your next move?

a/n: hey, hello!!<33 thank you so much for your request, as always! in case you don't like what i have prepared, i'm sorry. in my defence, i didn't know from the very beginning which way it was going to go and i've always been pretty terrible at interpreting things (me writing for twilight was not on my bingo list for this year, but the autumn weather outside the window has made me do so. happy hua hua hua hua huooooaaa season!!)

pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for

also, my requests are open!

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

The Cullen house was bathed in the soft, fading light of the setting sun, casting long, amber shadows that stretched across the polished wooden floors. It was a striking contrast to the usual vitality that filled the grand halls and spacious rooms, typically bustling with the presence of the vampire family. But on this particular evening, the house felt still and serene, as if time had momentarily paused.

With each step down the wooden stairs, you could feel the texture of the handrail beneath your fingertips. You ran your hand gently along its length, a small ritual to dispel the dust that had managed to settle on it in the absence of bustling activity. The house seemed to sigh in response, as if it too welcomed your presence in the calmness.

As you made your way through the dimly lit corridors, you reached the doorway of Carlisle's study. The soft glow of a desk lamp illuminated the room, casting a warm and inviting aura within. There, in the center of the study, sat Carlisle, his slender frame framed by the golden light.

Carlisle looked up from the book he had been leafing through. He welcomed you with a faint smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but held the warmth of familiarity.

As you stood in the entrance of the room, bathed in the warm, inviting glow, your mind churned with thoughts that had plagued you for far too long. You couldn't help but contrast the serenity of this moment with the turmoil that had defined your past. In this peaceful space, it was easy to forget the chaos you once reveled in, the empire of dirt you had built brick by brick.

Your eyes met Carlisle's, his gaze always so kind and understanding, yet you couldn't escape the unease gnawing at your heart. You had come so far since those dark days of your past, but the shadows of your former self still clung to you like an unshakable curse. You'd worked hard to change, to become someone unrecognizable even to yourself, but the weight of your past sins still weighed heavily on your conscience.

As you gazed into Carlisle's warm eyes, you couldn't help but remember who you used to be. A master of deception, a manipulator of hearts, you had once reveled in the power you held over others. Lies had flowed from your lips like sweet poison, carefully crafted to serve your own desires. You had toyed with people's emotions, played with their feelings as if they were nothing more than pawns in your game.

The memories of your past self weighed on you like an anchor, threatening to drag you back into the abyss you had fought so hard to escape. You had come to Carlisle seeking redemption, seeking a chance to be better, but a gnawing fear lingered in the depths of your soul. What if you were incapable of truly loving someone? What if your capacity to hurt ran deeper than you dared to admit?

These doubts, these insecurities, they clawed at your heart, and you couldn't help but wonder if Carlisle would eventually become another casualty of your brokenness. In his presence, you felt a warmth you had never known before, a genuine kindness that seemed to radiate from his very being. It was a stark contrast to the false facades you had once worn so effortlessly, a reminder of the person you aspired to become.

“Y/N?” the sound of your name suddenly pierced the cocoon of your thoughts, snapping you back to the present. You blinked a few times, returning your focus to Carlisle, who had been regarding you all along with his gentle, unwavering gaze. “Is everything all right?” he inquired, genuine concern evident in his voice. A faint furrow appeared between his brows, underscoring the authenticity of his worry.

You quickly composed yourself, as if slipping into a familiar role. “Oh, yes,” you responded swiftly, putting on a mask of laughter. With a gentle smile, you began to make your way toward Carlisle's desk. “I just got lost in my thoughts,” you added, your tone light and carefree.

The last thing you wanted was for Carlisle to glimpse the chaos within you, to see the shards of your past self that still clung to your soul. The fear that he might stop caring about you if he knew who you used to be was a heavy burden to bear.

As you continued your charade of nonchalance, a wave of hypocrisy washed over you. It was absurd, really, that you, who had always been the one to leave others when you grew bored, now found yourself terrified of abandonment.

“What are you reading?” you asked, your voice casual and genuinely curious as you circled Carlisle's desk and stood behind him, placing your hands gently on his cold shoulders. You were truly interested in the lecture he had been engrossed in, hoping to engage him in conversation and keep him from delving too deeply into your own thoughts.

Carlisle looked up from the pages of the book, a warm smile gracing his lips. “Just some recent research on rare genetic disorders,” he replied, his voice tinged with enthusiasm. “It's fascinating how people's understanding of these conditions continues to evolve.”

You smiled in response to Carlisle's passion. His love for his work was one of the many things that drew you to him, a stark contrast to your past life where you had feigned interest for the sake of appearances.

“That does sound fascinating,” you said genuinely, your hands still resting lightly on his shoulders. “You always manage to make the things I don’t even understand intriguing," you laughed softly.

Carlisle's smile widened at your compliment, and he leaned back slightly in his chair, allowing your hands to linger on his shoulders. “Thank you,” he replied warmly.

A comfortable silence settled between you, the weight of unspoken words and fears still present but momentarily pushed aside by the connection you shared. There was this strange, unexplainable attraction to this man, an irresistible force that dragged you closer to him, just like when a magnet pulls things together.

After a moment, you broke the silence, your tone casual. “You know,” you began, “if you're not too busy, maybe we could go for a walk later. It’s already dark outside, but I think the weather is lovely, and it's been a while since we had some quality time together.”

Carlisle's eyes brightened at the suggestion, and he nodded eagerly. “That sounds like a wonderful idea,” he agreed. “I'd love to.”

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gretavanbrie · 10 months ago

Text

Landslide // part two (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, established friendship, heavy alcohol consumption, mentions of alcohol consumption, feelings of heartbreak, sadness, yelling, arguing, feelings of unrequited love, very brief feelings of abandonment, asshole jake in the beginning. If I missed any lmk!! (Vaguely proof read, excuse any mistakes)

A/N: SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG!!! Due to tumblrs weird limit I have to split up the 2nd part in two so there will be a 3rd part that will be up by the time this one is. I truly have no excuse for the delay other than I wanted this to meet everybody’s expectations and I didn’t know how to properly execute all my ideas for the second part of this little mini series. I thank you all for such kindness and patience regarding landslides part two. Alas, here it is!!

Also: it starts off with more of jakes perspective on the blow out and then will slowly transition into the present time. Hope you guys enjoy!

Part 1

“..I started seeing someone from our crew…i really like her y/n”

Jake saw the hope leave your eyes the minute he said it. The sparkle he desperately loved now incredibly dimmed and your hands no longer holding his own, suddenly his confidence on the matter seemed to waver.

Jake always brushed off Josh's advances on getting him to make a move on you, dismissing it as his twins way of meddling and trying to stir the pot. How is he meant to explain the way your lips no longer smiled with your eyes?

Any other person wouldn’t have noticed the sudden hitch of breath for it was so discreet, but of course Jake did. He’s studied your person as if he wanted to become fluent in the language of you, so to say. He’s spent so much time with you over the years all of your habits had become second nature to him. Except there was one thing about you he could never read and you made sure of it.

He still knew you all too well and even if it was for a millisecond he noticed the missed beat in your response, he saw the barely-there glossiness coating his favorite irises and quickly blinked away despite the wide smile still on your face.

The average person would easily be fooled but your entire energy shift was almost spelled out in bold letters in front of him. Jake had started to question if he really was making the right decision.

Since about the 7th grade you had Jake completely enamored, unbeknownst to you. At first it was nothing more than a prepubescent school crush, no more than quiet stolen glances and bad attempts at flirting that had gone unnoticed. When highschool came around he realized girls found him attractive, and like any other teenage boy would do, Jake milked it. He stopped being hyper-focused on you and channeled that energy elsewhere.

You were so adamant on making sure he never got any idea of you seeing him in any romantic light, he genuinely believed it would never happen and realized maybe it was stupid pre-teen boy hormones convincing him he felt more for you than what he did and eventually forgot about his feelings for you all in all.

By the end of junior year your family took a vacation for the summer. You came back for senior year with a different aura to you, you had bloomed beautifully so to say. In simple terms, puberty hit you like a truck. The new effect you had on him scared Jake, he decided it was then easier to have you solely as his friend than trying to decode the rush of dopamine he gets just looking at you. Much like yourself, he denied any and all attraction.

Now as you sat across from him inconspicuously heartbroken, his entire perception shifted. He thought he was crazy when you clutched onto the lapel of his coat so desperately when he held you. His mind went hazy in the moment, almost drunk off the close proximity. He hadn’t thought about you in that light in years. Squashed any attraction into the abyss of his soul never to be thought of again.

Seeing you after the extensive tour, reignited the spark. You threw him off his game, he was so certain he had gotten over you and that Laura was the correct path for him but the way you looked into his eyes made him want to drop everything for you right there.

He continued the conversation nonetheless before the overthinking consumed him whole, he was certain he wasn’t thinking clearly. He relentlessly repeated to himself that you had solely seen him as a friend, there was just no way you were upset he was seeing someone. You were thirsty and dust flew in your eye or something, he made any and all excuses.

Once the conversation had come to a wrap and you hurried your way back inside to process the news. Jake too was in a frenzy, he was so sure of himself and his decision just about an hour ago.

Laura was in theory the perfect match, or so he thought. At first it was a casual hookup while he was on the road and as time went on he had grown to truly like her, he didn’t love her so to say but she definitely made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time and he romanticized her.

He hadn’t so much as thought about another because as much as he wouldn’t like to admit it, the thought of you had made a home within his head. Now that Jake was feeling something other than suppressed feelings for you, he wanted to hold on to that and convinced himself that was his fate.

Now that he sees there is even a slight possibility you do see him that way he feels like he’s fucked any and all chances, but do you? His brain couldn’t crack the code and he began to stress himself out.

On his way inside he ran into Josh.

“Hey did you see where y/n went? She ran off on me” Josh’s eyebrows perked up as his brothers words now privy to your hurried entrance from the patio.

“Ran off? Did you scare her off or something?” Josh joked unaware of the tension still rising in Jake’s shoulders.

“Very funny. No, I just finally told her about Laura.” Jake retaliated.

“Laura? What about Laura?” The eldest twin now confused.

“I made it official with her, I wanted to introduce y/n to her. You know.. have my best friend mingle with my girlfriend?” Josh’s eyes blew wide at the realization you were indeed not okay.

“When? This is the first I’m hearing of this. No offense but I thought it was casual for you guys..” Josh trailed off.

“Well I really like her, Josh. Why are you being so weird about it?” Jake asks, his insecurity on the decision now growing tenfold.

“Not being weird just…sudden is all. Can’t say I’ve seen her” Josh lied as he made his way to see just how much damage was done.

Now his own brother wasn’t even as enthused as he thought he’d be. It's not that Jake seeked validation from others regarding his life decisions but now that the two of the most important people in his life aren’t solidifying it, he’s succumbed to shameful overthinking.

He needed a drink to release some of the tension. Jake reached for the bottle of Jack as his phone buzzed. He poured a glass for himself before picking his phone up.

Message from: Laura

-Omw! See u soon baby.

Jake just shut his phone off and slipped it back in his pocket before taking a generous swig of the amber liquid.

The more he overthought the situation the more he found himself pouring more and more of that Tennessee whiskey into his glass. Eventually his step felt light and his vision incredibly disoriented. He put the bottle away as he realized he’s gotten ahead of himself and the alcohol in fact did not help but drove him to wrack his brain on the matter even more than before.

He saw the short blonde walk in from his peripheral and immediately greeted her.

As he leaned in to kiss her he got a whiff of her insufferably strong perfume, he had gotten so used to smelling yours since you got here that this almost made him nauseous. Even more so now that he’s realized maybe she isn’t what he wants.

“Your lips taste like whiskey sweetheart, drinking without me?” Laura laughed.

“Mmm, maybe a glass or two..pretty little blouse you got on” he slurred wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her in.

“Jake you’ve definitely had more than a glass or two, you’re getting a little excited honey” she giggled

“Just had a few refreshments on an empty stomach is all love..” he replied with his infamous cockney accent.

“I already told you not to do that accent Jakey, it's insufferable” Laura said before laughing it off and stepping away from him to grab a drink.

‘Y/n would have joked back in the same accent with me..' Jake thought to himself.

He quickly rid himself of the thought, why was even he thinking about you? The drunken logic now warping his train of thought, reminding himself that he thought nobody was truly happy for him in the moment.

Surely it was self projection, Jake had a newfound insecurity about his decision and outwardly projected his internalized fears onto both you and Josh. Assuming the reason you guys were so off with him was not because you had feelings for him as he previously thought, but instead it was because you guys were just simply unhappy for him.

Josh wasn’t excited, y/n certainly wasn’t matching his energy. In his mind, it somehow made sense.

Jake's head whipped around as he heard your voice come from the living room. Now was the moment he’s been dreading for the last 20 minutes, best to get it over with now.

“Come on babe, I want you to meet some of my friends” he said grabbing Laura’s hand in his and making his way into the living room as best he could given the liquor was catching up with him all too fast.

“Alright everyone, this is Laura. My beautiful girlfriend.” Jake slurred as he pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. Laura smiled wide at everyone and bid her hellos to those closest to her before her eyes landed on you.

She viewed you as competition. Much like Jake's past girlfriends, they saw how much he talked about you and more often than not gave him the ultimatum of them or you. No matter how much he swore you were just a really close friends Laura wasn’t buying it and wanted Jake all to herself.

Jake immediately searched for you. The minute his eyes met your own, a rush of warmth coated his chest. A bright smile flashed on his face as he forgot about his past worries momentarily upon seeing you look at him. He naturally gravitated towards you and motioned for Laura to come greet you to which she happily obliged.

“Y/n, Laura. Laura, y/n.. this lovely lady has been one of my best friends since elementary school” He introduces but Laura already knew this so Jakes formality made her itch with annoyance, she didn’t want to hear any more. She knew to be nice anyway because she saw how important you were to him and if she wanted him to stay with her she needed to get you to like her as well.

Your bright smile made her confidence waver as you rose to wrap her in a quick embrace. She internally grimaced at how kind you actually seemed. Of course Jake respected you, you had such a welcoming energy that Laura was beginning to envy. Even she was warming up.

“Oh my gosh! You’re y/n! I've heard so much about you, I love your dress” as much as Laura wanted to be selfish you really did look beautiful. She wasn’t expecting for you to be as nice as everybody had said.

“Thank you, you’re so kind. It’s a pleasure to meet you” you flashed her a smile as your cheeks warmed at the sentiment.

Laura wasn’t up for any more of the niceties with you. She had hoped there would be some confirmation to her negative preconceived notion about you, ultimately finding none. The only seemingly respectful way to end the conversation was to excuse herself to the bathroom.

Jake gestured a hand toward the couch behind you for the two of you to take a seat.

“Soooo what’d you think?” He says

“Short interaction, but she seems like a great girl Jakey. As long as you’re happy I’m happy.” You respond with a tight lipped smile, eyes avoiding his as you toy with loose strings on your dress.

Jakes head immediately swarmed with every negative thought he could muster. Your lackluster of a response had somehow been a confirmation to his idea of you not being truly happy for him.

“That's it? That's all you’re gonna say?” He asks a bit harsher than he had intended to. Jake immediately saw your brows slightly furrow and your eyes dim, his immediate regret quickly concealed by the whiskey fueling his fight.

“Well I don’t know what you want me to say…a-are you drunk right now?” You stumble over your words now anxious that this was all heating up faster than it should be.

“You could at least act a little more enthused for me. I mean do you even care at all?” Jake knew he was being dramatic, in his warped logic it was better to paint you the villain and play victim than to deal with his internalized feelings for you now resurfacing on top of the immense guilt he was already feeling. Foolishly not thinking of the potentially jeopardized friendship at hand.

“I’m sorry? I don’t know why you’re getting so upset with me. What do you want me to do Jake?”you say lowering your voice, scared others around you might catch wind of whatever this dispute seemed to be.

Jake knew he was being irrational and could no longer come to terms with it, resorting to walking away from it now that he realized he’s causing more damage than good.

“You know what…just forget it, you could at least act like you care.” Jake spat.

He harshly grabbed his drink from the corner table, leaving you behind in complete shock. Jake felt guilty the minute he grabbed his drink and left. He never blows up on you and didn’t know what had compelled him to speak to you like that. Sure you guys are mean to each other as a joke every now and again but this felt all too real.

You made your way to collect your things. Sam had been eavesdropping but could only catch Jake's end of the conversation, for you had made it a point to speak quietly. What he didn’t see was you and your teary-eyed escape. Sam however was just as drunk as Jake if not more and just wanted to be entertained with drama.

“Hey man, what happened?” Sam asks, stopping Jake in his tracks.

“Y/n is pissing me off, that’s what. Where’s Laura?” Jake says, eyes distant as he searches the area for the blonde.

"I can see that asshole, that's why I’m asking what happened.” He quips before continuing.

"You guys haven’t fought since like the 9th grade” Sam remarks.

“I’m not in the mood for your smart ass fucking comments Sam.. really fucking not.” Jake says, shaking his head. He takes a sip of his drink and attempts to walk away before Sam stops him once again.

“Dude just tell me what happened, i wanna know.” Sam prods again.

“I can just tell she’s not happy for me. I was excited to tell her about Laura and she just went all….. dry. Fucking got up and left when i confronted her about it."

“She left?? We just got back, there’s no way she would just leave.” Sam questions.

“Yeah. Well, she did.” Jake says, flashing the youngest kiszka a sarcastic smile.

He scoffs before continuing as he slowly starts to rile himself up again.

“…couldn’t even stick around, how immature.” seemingly forgetting your flee was a product of his harsh attitude.

“Thats fucked. If it helps, I’m happy for you dude… weird that she would just leave. Kinda selfish you don’t think?” Sam responds now just drunkenly wanting to instigate.

Sam's words were music to Jake’s ears, his mood instantly lifting hearing someone telling him what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t that nobody was in Jake's corner, in fact you and Josh both were incredibly happy for him no matter what. It was Jake refusing to come to terms with his emotions and essentially self-sabotaging.

However, hearing Sam call you selfish also made Jake's blood boil. To him you were far from selfish. You were giving and handled everything with the utmost humility. You were not only selfless to those close to you but to those you’ve just met. You danced through your life with grace and generosity and to hear someone undermine that, angered him. Yet, you were supposed to be the one he was upset with. The inner turmoil bubbling to the surface, ten fold.

“I mean, Laura aside… we’re her friends. Regardless of however y/n feels towards her she shouldn’t have just left. We’ve been gone for ages, she’s being petty.” Sam continued.

As much as Sam's words were striking a nerve in Jake as his immediate response normally would have been to defend you, right now he didn’t know how to feel.

Jake gave a quiet hum as he turned up with a lack of an answer on the matter.

The more sam starts to formulate his opinions on the only side of the story he’s gotten, the more it starts to genuinely irk him. His brother aside, he deemed you a best friend no less and felt like it was unfair.

“You know what? I’m gonna text her, she could’ve at least stayed for me or Daniel… heck even Josh!” He said waving his hand frantically, grabbing his phone.

“Boom, sent.” Although he didn’t mean for the message to come out so harsh, Sam was also belligerent and could no longer take anything seriously.

In his mind, this would blow over by tomorrow and you guys would laugh it off like always. Being friends so long, tiffs were bound to happen. Except unbeknownst to Sam, you and Jake have years of pent up turmoil you have yet to diffuse and he is only fueling the fire.

Jake sends a message too, but not in Sam’s drunken immature fashion. He had hurt his own feelings so much, the only convenient place he could point the finger at would be you. Opting to shut you out for the first time in over a decade.

Jake couldn’t decide if it was because he was genuinely mad at you or if it was because this whole situation had made his feelings all too real and he couldn’t bear to face them.

don’t even bother reaching out anymore.

——————————————————————

And that was the last you had heard from Jake in about a week.

You had granted him his wish.

Josh and Danny have called a couple times and everything was normal as far as you were concerned. Neither of the boys had made it awkward, you questioned if they even knew about the messages sent to you by Jake and Sam.

When you got home the night of the welcome party you were faced with immediate regret. You wracked your brain all night on where you went wrong and if you should’ve even left.

Was it the forced smiles?

Was it the choked back congratulations?

Had you not concealed your emotions well enough?

Were you being inconsiderate for leaving after waiting so long to see them?

It wasn’t that you were inherently unhappy for Jake, you genuinely wished the best for him. Internally you question if maybe you had been a bit insensitive but the more you wrack your brain on the matter the more everything starts to just not make sense.

Sam texting you made you all the more anxious. Drunken stupor or not he is a close friend of yours and for him to be mad at you, you must’ve offended him in some way as well. But how?

Your brain has gone a mile a minute since then. Your phone seemed to be in a permanent state of do not disturb. You’ve gone to work like normal, caught up with Ronnie before she went back home and you started to feel like things were semi-okay.

You had gotten so used to seeing a message from Jake everyday for the last almost-decade, it's been weird not hearing from him and you inevitably started to miss him. Although missing him only angered you because you were sure he doesn't miss you the same. You didn’t even want to feel sorry for yourself because how foolish of you to think your hot rockstar best friend is gonna be in love with you too?

Your romantic feelings aside, him being able to shut you out so easy honestly broke your heart even more than hearing he was with someone.

Argument aside, after this long of a friendship how could he cut you off that easily? Were you never that important? You would’ve been okay being his friend and forgetting about your feelings for him once and for all, you just didn’t know how to handle the news there and then and everything blew up in your face so fast.

If Jake didn’t want you to reach out, so be it.

You had come to terms with what Josh had reminded you of, you're 27 now and there was no more reason to sacrifice parts of yourself for the sake of making sure someone else is comfortable in your friendship. He is with someone now and you need to move on, the silent pining has grown old.

You thankfully set up a lunch date with Josh today and were grateful you could find a safe haven within the storm invading your mind. It made it easier knowing he knows just as much, if not more, than you on the situation. You had been deflecting that conversation with him but secretly knew he wasn’t going to stop trying until you told him more.

Josh knows something is up. Jake isn’t yapping about you everyday anymore, you haven't been making any plans with Jake since the tour ended. It’s deeper than Jake just catching an attitude with you. You weren’t one to wallow in your room for days when you were upset but you went into a minor hermit mode since then and it's raised a huge red flag for the older twin.

You sprayed some perfume as the final step in your getting ready process. You looked over your outfit in the mirror once more before grabbing your purse. You were going to your favorite cafe in Nash. It had bottomless mimosas for brunch every other week and with everything going on, you needed some casual day drinking with a friend.

You got situated in your car before heading downtown to meet with Josh. About 15 minutes into your drive, Landslide by Fleetwood Mac came up on your shuffle. You were fairly happy today but upon hearing the lyrics again with a different perspective, everything had easily begun to gloom over.

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

You fought the urge to turn it off because it was truly one of your favorite songs but everything reminded you of Jake recently and your sanity was slipping through the cracks. You were instantly brought back to your teenage self helplessly in love with your life-long friend.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’

‘Cause I’ve built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I’m getting older too

You unhesitatingly unplugged your phone from CarPlay. Stevie didn’t get a chance to finish her chorus before the silence in the car had engulfed you.

You fought back tears realizing how real that stupid song made everything. You couldn’t grasp why you were so emotional but you hadn’t realized just how much not talking to Jake had affected you. This change was new for you, life had always been pretty constant especially your friendship with him and you were having a hard time taking things for face value.

You got off the exit heading into town. Finding parking was fairly easy and you picked out a table for two knowing josh was gonna be late.

You took this time to recollect yourself and order a glass.

You waited for about 15 minutes before you saw the curly headed man’s eyes searching the establishment for you. Josh’s wide smile momentarily eased your nerves and you were glad to just spend time with one of your closest friends.

“Only 15 minutes! That’s gotta be a new record” you joked, poking fun at his infamous untimeliness as he found purchase in the seat in front of you.

“What do you mean? I would say I’m early” he feigned a confused expression checking the non-existent watch on his wrist. You couldn’t help but laugh at his nonsense while he waved down the waitress to order himself a glass.

“Bottomless mimosas huh?” Josh continued.

“Yeah, I haven't had a drink since…. well, you know.” you awkwardly laughed to make things light.

"Speaking of which, I didn’t want to ask you about it because i know it's a touchy subj—“

“No. I-i want to. I actually would really appreciate it if we talked about it.” You interrupted. You chose not to elaborate on the fact that the only reason you were in desperate need of talking about it was because you were not as calm about the situation as you had let on.

“Well alright then, lay it on me. Tell me your side, I’ve heard all there is to hear on his side but I refuse to even get into that right now.” He says.

“So he’s still talking about me?” You scoffed before continuing.

“It’s absurd to me that he can be so cold with me yet still bring me up to everyone else. We’re adults. Whatever I did I feel like he should’ve spoken to me about it by now..” you trail off, reaching for your glass.

"I think this may be deeper than the both of you want to accept.” Josh interjects.

“He’s not bringing it up constantly to everybody, but he's my brother so please just trust me on this. It’s deeper for both of you.” He continues.

“What does that even mean? Don’t go all cryptic on me Josh. He’s never spoken to me that way, I don’t know what I could’ve done. Was I really that inconsiderate? I mean if i was, i wanna apologize and talk it out. He’s my friend and I feel terrible that I’ve made it all about me and my feelings.” You rambled chugging the mimosa down.

“Y/n stop, you’re getting in your head again. You handled it well, Jake is just- he's being difficult. Stop blaming yourself, his actions making you feel unwelcome is not something to apologize for.” Josh tried to reason.

“You’re right but I was in the wrong too. I shouldn’t have left. I knew I shouldn’t have. The minute I walked out the door and got to my car I realized I was just overwhelmed with everything. I completely forgot it was a celebration for you guys. I apologized to Ronnie for leaving her in the dust and I wanna do the same for you guys as well, you can refuse all you want but I know in my heart I should have been there for you regardless.” You say trying to hold back the tears. You were almost done with your second glass and the champagne has definitely gotten to your head.

“…and then when him and Sam texted me i just felt awful, so I’m really sorry josh” you continue.

“Wait what?” Josh asks, now with genuine confusion stitched into his eyebrows.

“What?” You ask retreating into yourself, the feeling like you said something you weren’t supposed to had lodged its way in your brain.

“They texted you? What did they say??” He prods.

Jake and Sam hadn’t mentioned a word to Josh about the messages they had sent you. They knew better, they were well aware they were immature for doing so and didn’t want josh’s big brother patronization on top of it all. Jake more so than Sam, Sam didn’t think the argument was that deep and thought you'd take it lightly.

“You didn’t know?” You asked, now matching his bewildered expression.

“Of course not, now I have so many questions. I want you to tell me everything beginning to end. This is absolutely insane to me.” He says waving his hand and sitting back making himself comfortable.

“Okay well, he breaks the news.. I congratulated him and said i was happy for him. I thought i had held myself together pretty well then but I knew i would crack sooner than later so i had to excuse myself. I made a beeline for the bathroom to try and recompose before meeting her and i thought maybe it was the whiskey, you know how he gets on whiskey..” you said making a suggestive eye.

You and the rest of your friends were well aware the amber liquid made Jake easily irritable, to say the least, if consumed in large quantities.

“…but I’ve seen him with one too many whiskey cokes and even then he still would never do that. Anyway, I’m rambling. In short, I greet her, we exchange compliments, everything was fine and then she excuses herself for the bathroom mid-convo and he asks me what I think. I just said she seems like a great girl and I’m happy for him. I mean what the fuck else was I supposed to say? She literally left before I could have a real conversation with her and he just blew up on me saying I wasn’t actually happy for him and I could… and I quote, ‘at least act like I care’” you say with finger air quotes before finishing your glass and starting on your third.

Josh just stares at you for a moment before his jaw drops.

“What the fuck? So where does the text come into play?"

“Right, so once I get to my car and I think about going back inside I get a text from Sam first…saying this” you say before pulling up the messages and showing Josh the screen. His eyes scan over the message for a brief second.

“some friend? He’s one to fucking talk. He was drunk and glued to his friends the entire night, I think he just wanted to instigate. What about jake? I wanna hear what he had to say” you saw josh getting riled up but the reminder of Jake's message brought everything back to reality and the influx of emotions mixed with the alcohol did you no favors.

“…he um, he said not to bother reaching out.” you said voice small, eyes avoiding his own as you shut your phone off not even bothering to open his chat up again.

You saw his energy shift and although Josh is pretty composed and patient around you, you could see that it struck a nerve in him. He knew it was completely ridiculous and Jake was just deflecting and running from his feelings. Josh saw right through everything and the fact that Jake had failed to mention this to him, only angered him more.

“It’s okay.. really. I understand, he was probably excited to share the news and I honestly was acting a bit dry with him. But also what was I supposed to say? ‘hey I’m upset because I’ve been in love with you since senior year of high school but you don’t feel the same way’ like no.. obviously not. It would ruin everything…..I don’t know I'm just conflicted josh.” you say putting your head in your hands for a moment.

The liquor was catching up with you faster than anticipated on an empty stomach.

“Bullshit. Stop making excuses for him, you know its fucked up regardless. He can be upset with you for whatever reason but to completely shut you out like that? No wonder you guys haven’t hashed it out yet. I knew this was running on too long.” He says, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

You just shrugged before taking another sip of your drink.

“Listen, once he's ready he can reach out. But i'm gonna start putting myself first, if he doesn’t wanna talk? Fine by me.” You shrug.

“Let's ditch that topic for now. It's just starting to piss me off more, how is everything for you though?” You ask.

“It’s alright, we’re just getting prepped for some festivals that we have coming up but i'm excited for this down time. Been a while since I could come have lunch dates with my best friend.” Josh said, playfully winking.

“I knowww, i'm so excited you’re back. Jake and i had been talking about—“ you cut yourself off realizing the plans you and Jake had made may now never follow through. You guys had talked endlessly about catching up on all the missed plans and hangouts with everybody but the thought of it only saddened you.

“.. nevermind” you laughed, taking a sip of your glass in an attempt to ease the tension.

Josh gave you a sympathetic smile before changing the subject and continuing conversation as normal.

—————————————————————

Before you realized it, three hours had passed and it was already the late afternoon. You were seven mimosas deep and there was no shot at you driving yourself home.

“Josh? I think im a little drunk” you giggled leaning your head on your hands.

“Can I Venmo you for brunch?” You question.

“You think? That thousand yard stare is a dead give away. Don’t worry about it, i got it mama”

“Awww you're paying for me? That is just so nice” you tease pressing a hand to your chest. Josh laughs at your drunken candor.

“Shut up and give me your keys, I'm driving you home after I pay this bill. Finish the glass you have now and we’re going” he laughs trying not to entertain your drunken behavior.

“Hey… i'll shut up when i want to” you mumbled to yourself before handing your keys to him.

“You only had half a mimosa you weirdo” you joke as you both gather your things, some more efficiently than others.

“I saw how fast you were going through those, someone had to be sober to drive you home. You’re a lightweight.” He said with a pointed look.

"…touché’’ you say, squinting your eyes at him playfully.

Josh opens his car door for you and you try and climb up in his Jeep as gracefully as you could. The minute he shuts the door you realize you're a lot drunker than what you thought you were. You don’t drink often and certainly not to cope with heavy emotions but it honestly felt quite nice to feel the weight lift off your shoulders momentarily.

Josh hops in and starts his car up, your head was spinning and you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing, I just think it's silly I let myself get so drunk from mimosas..my head is literally spinning” which somehow made you laugh harder.

A genuine cackle had bubbled out of your chest as happy tears pooled at the corner of your eyes and Josh was happy to hear it.

You’d been blue since the fallout and even if it was just a case of the drunken giggles, seeing your happiness shine during the golden hour of the day only made his heart warm.

“Okay i just laughed so hard it made my head hurt…” you said calming down and rubbing at your temples.

“Whewww sorry, that gave me a good giggle” you said laughing again. You have a bad habit of rambling and it's only worse when you're drunk. You can talk about any and everything under the sun and Josh was mentally preparing himself for the word vomit, to which it never came. Instead he was hit with a sudden mood swing.

“You know… this is really stupid” you say, leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

“I shouldn’t miss him so much josh..” you open your eyes as it only made the spins worse and looked down fumbling with your hands.

Josh stayed quiet allowing you to get everything out, the minute you weren’t spewing nonsense at him gave him a clue that this was hurting you more than you let on.

You don’t know where it had all come from but everything was suddenly incredibly sentimental and you were fighting back the urge to cry. You knew it was just the champagne talking, but was it? Or did it just make you feel what you’ve been suppressing all week?

You sniffled which immediately alerted josh.

“You were just laughing.. what happened?” Josh laughed at your sudden mood switch. You couldn’t help but laugh too at the randomness.

“Ugh I don’t know man” you cry-laughed wiping the tears

“… do you wanna talk about it?” He said trying not to pry but still wanted to let you know he was here to listen.

“not really, i haven't fully processed it and I don’t wanna talk about it until all my ducks are in a row” you chuckled before dozing off for the remainder of the drive.

“You’ve kept your feelings a secret for a long time little one, just making sure youre okay.”

”I'm feeling…exquisite” you slurred.

Josh just gave a slight hum before chuckling and turning down the radio a bit to let you get shut eye.

———————————————————————

You stirred awake as Josh lightly shook you.

“We’re at your house, wake up” he said.

You gathered your purse and shoes before hopping out of his truck and stumbling your way inside. Your keys were nowhere to be found in your bag and you frustratingly turned around at the eldest kiszka.

“Where are my keys? I want these jeans off of me already” you said tucking the hair that fell in your face behind your ear.

“Hold your horses little one, I have them because someone’s belligerent.” Josh said, raising his eyebrows at you.

“I’m too drunk to drive, not enough to where I can’t unlock my own door” you said matter-of-factly.

“Yea yea, whatever here you go” he said, dangling the keys in front of you.

“What am i gonna do about my car” you whined as you barely made it past your home's threshold. You plopped down on your couch face down, all the movement was starting to make you nauseous.

“Woah..i feel like i'm getting drunker by the minute, i thought i'd sober up by now” you said sitting up from your position and rubbing at your temples.

“Here, i got you some water. I'll take you tomorrow morning to pick it up.. sound good?” You nodded as Josh handed you the bottle. You uncapped the lid and took a few sips. You hadn’t eaten or drank anything all day except for one piece of complimentary bread and seven and a half mimosas…

Josh was surprised you were still able to stand yourself up given how much of a lightweight you are. You had gotten so wrapped up in conversation with him you completely forgot to order food.

“I'll be right back” you hear him disappear into the kitchen as you sink back into your couch.

Your head was spinning. It was almost humorous. Like the thought of Jake had been swarming your thoughts and now ironically manifested in a physical sense.

You missed him even though your pride didn’t want to let you admit it. It wasn’t even about him being with Laura anymore. You were content and happy with him as a friend. Time heals all wounds and you were bound to get over the silly heartbreak but having none of Jake at all was almost tortuous.

Your head shot up as you heard a ping sound from your phone.

“Is it jake?” You perked up.

Josh’s eyes saddened at the thought of you expecting a message from him. You both know how stubborn Jake can get and the fact you still have hope just made him more upset with his brother. He picked up the phone checking the screen realizing it was just one of your friends from work.

“No, sorry…. just Liz.” he said sympathetically, handing you your phone.

“Oh.. okay” you said, trying your best to not make it seem like you were disappointed.

"I’m gonna go change and try to make some food, you're welcome to stay Joshy. Help yourself” you said gesturing to the kitchen as you made your way to your bedroom.

“I already made you a sandwich. It’s in the kitchen on a plate for you. I told some friends I’d join them. Are you gonna be okay?” He says as you turn around to face him.

“Ugh traitor, I’ll be fine i guesss. Thanks for the food” you joked as you gave him a hug goodbye. You heard a chuckle bubble from his chest.

“I'll call you in the morning, answer and be ready” josh says, pointing a stern finger at you as he makes his way to your front door.

“I will! Love you long time” you gave him a tight lipped smile as he opened the door to make his way out.

“Love you!” You heard him shout before the sound of the door shutting had echoed through your home.

You stumbled back towards your bedroom and popped a couple Advils before making your way to your closet to change into comfier clothes. You didn’t bother taking off your makeup just yet and decided to leave your hair down, you didn’t have the energy to bother with it.

Your stomach rumbling only grew stronger as you were mentally occupied with the absence of your life-long friend. You knew you should go and eat but you had busied yourself with the incessant thoughts of that one night.

Deciding you needed a momentary distraction from the thoughts that had occupied your brain all week, your stomach growls at you from the thought of Josh’s sandwich.

‘Even if he’s mad at me I should still apologize, be the bigger person' you think to yourself as you turn the corner to your kitchen.

Sober you knows better and is too stubborn to cave in first, but drunk you is only occupied with the chest-burning thought of how much you love him and wanting this to be resolved as quickly as possible.

You look at the plate and see Josh made the sandwich Jake usually makes you. Your eyes tear up and your throat burns at the thought.

On one hand it was so sweet of Josh to bring you some comfort given the sudden change but it was also not the same because it wasn’t coming from who you selfishly wanted it to. You take a bite as the tears fall silently.

No expression on your face, just a dead stare as you eat and the tears quietly slip from your ducts.

You hadn’t allowed yourself to truly feel all week. You had occupied yourself with mundane tasks at home and work was a big help with distracting yourself.

Anything to not be focused on where things went wrong.

Now that you had gotten ahead of yourself with the mimosas, everything you had bottled up was starting to spill over the edge and your composure slowly slipping through the cracks.

You poured yourself a final drink for the night, opting for a sweet red wine to take the edge off. There was only a little more than a glass left in your wine bottle, no better time than today to finish it rather than right before you have to start going back to work. You had the entire weekend to recover from the inevitable hangover bound to plague you in the morning.

You made your way into the living room and over to your record player. You sifted through your shelf of vinyls before settling on CSN&Y’s ‘So Far’. You let it play for a little as you burned an incense and nursed your final glass of your favorite wine.

You hear the familiar chords of Helplessly Hoping begin to play and coincidentally all the wine had rushed to your blood. You were considerably drunk and this was very unlike you. You decided to not even finish the glass, you felt guilty almost. Like you were unhealthily coping. Your vision became disoriented and everything felt hazy.

Happy wine drunk is one thing but being sad wine drunk did you no favors, especially given the song traveling throughout your home. The only thing finding purchase in your clouded mind was Jake and Jake only.

You mindlessly picked up your phone, opening up your last conversation with him. You longingly stared at his contact picture of the both of you. It was an old photo Karen had sent you of when you guys were about 11 at their annual 4th of July barbecue.

“Come on kids, get in the dang picture!” Karen tried to reason with the 5 of you but you guys were too occupied with the fact that Sam wasn't giving the ball back.

As Karen tried rounding up Josh Sam and Ronnie for the picture, you pulled Jake aside and convinced him to get in the picture for his mom. Karen noticed the two of you ready and decided to snap one of just the two of you.

“Aww how sweet, the two of you together..” she said pointing her camera at the two of you.

“Come on mom just take the picture” Jake whined ready to get back to his game with his brothers.

“Fine fine, i'll get all five of you later… scooch in closer Jacob” She said gesturing with her hand.

“What, like this?” Jake remarks, laughing as he aggressively squishes his face against your own. You laugh at his sarcasm, as does he. Karen snapped the picture of your two wide smiles smooshed together in your red white and blue attire.

You smiled at the memory and without a second thought you clicked the call button as the memory had clouded all logic. All you wanted in the moment was to talk to your best friend again.

You heard it ring once, then twice, then declined.

A sob escaped past your lips as you heard his automated voice message saying he’ll call back, ironic given he probably won’t.

You left a message regardless. Liquid courage or not, at least you did your part.

“Hey Jake, im probably gonna regret this in the morning” you sadly laughed. You let out a big sigh before continuing.

“..but it's been over a week, we’ve never gone that long without talking.. I didn’t think I’d lose you entirely” you paused for a moment as you were getting tongue-tied and your voice was slowly giving up as you fought back tears.

“I know you said to not bother reaching out but you mean so much to me, more than you know a-and I can’t just do that" you slurred as you plopped down on the couch.

“Anyway… take all the time you need. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for whatever I said.. or did. I'm ready to talk about it whenever you are..” you said trailing off.

“Just call me back i guess…o-or maybe don—“ you were cut off by the teleprompter letting you know the message was too long and you angrily pressed the hang up button before laying down and drifting off on your couch.

The spins were becoming overbearing and you didn’t want to think about how mad you were gonna be at yourself in the morning.

————————————————————

Jake saw your call.

He saw the notification saying you had left a voicemail.

He couldn’t bring himself to pick up or even listen to what you had to say. He feared that if he heard your voice after so long he’d crack.

He was being prideful.

He regretted everything he said for it was completely out of character for him and the whiskey is no excuse. He knew it was a bad idea the minute he finished his first glass. His emotions were heightened and Jake's entire perception of his reality had shifted within 15 minutes. He couldn’t process everything and blew up on you.

"I thought you said you stopped talking to her baby?” Laura questioned as she sat next to him on the bed.

“I did.” Jake sighed.

“So.. why did I just see you decline her call? Why is she even calling you?” She chided.

“Hey, calm down. I genuinely don’t know, I'm just as confused as you are." He replied pulling her into his side.

“I already told you how I feel about her. I don’t think she’s good for you. She’s clearly not happy for us.. for you, jakey” Jake internally winced at your childhood nickname for him coming out of her mouth, he hated when people called him that unless it was you that was referring to him.

“She was being a bitch to me at the party, you saw.” She remarked, lying to make sure she got what she wanted.

“Wait, how? She ended up leaving..” Jake pulled back from her now confused.

“Oh. Well maybe you weren’t there but she just said something about how I wasn’t welcome within the circle” she blurted. Laura couldn’t come up with a good enough lie to paint you as the villain.

“That doesn’t sound like y/n, I mean I’ve seen her strongly dislike people and she still would never exclude anybody. She doesn’t like confrontation..” Jake said now even more perplexed.

“Are you defending her right now?” Laura sat up defensive.

“N-no im just saying it’s not like her to say th—"

“Stop making excuses for her! She clearly isn't happy for you Jake! Her whole kindness thing is some lame act to get people to like her. She’s just some boring plain Jane that wants you to herself. Why can’t you get that through your head?!” She continued.

Laura’s facade now slowly melting away, something sparked in Jake.

He hated when people spoke ill of you, especially when people undermine you no matter if he was upset with you or not.

There was so much more to you than the surface showed.

You weren’t boring, you certainly would never go out of your way to make someone feel unwelcome. You were kind to a fault but still had a crazy fire that burned within you, unlike others you kept your flame contained. You were incredibly emotionally mature and it was silly for Jake to ever think you could be unhappy for him.

“Get out.”

“W-what?” Laura says shocked.

“I don’t want to argue with you on this, no matter what she and I are going through, she's been a close friend of my family since fucking elementary school and I think it's incredibly distasteful that you feel so comfortable bad mouthing her when you barely know her. Doesn’t matter what i feel, she’s still Josh’s friend, Sam’s, Danny’s.. my fucking parents” Jake said counting off on his fingers.

He didn’t know what had overcome him but he realized how big of a mistake he made thinking Laura was the one. How easy it was for her to speak ill of someone that was practically family to his own just showed Laura’s true character.

He stared at her gobsmacked expression for a moment before driving in the last dagger to seal it all.

“Matter of fact, I think this was a mistake.” He finishes getting up from the bed and opening the bedroom door.

“You’re seriously gonna break up with me over some girl? You even said yourself that she doesn’t care and you’re defending her?”

“Oh for fucks sake i was mad and drunk, i was just pissing myself off and pointed the finger at her. It was wrong of me, yes, but also none of your fucking business. I will reap what I sow on my own and I will certainly not have you speak ill of her because of my wrong doings.” Jake says as she stands up and collects her things.

“Fucking pathetic.” She spits pushing past him and fleeing down the stairs.

Jake hears the door slam shut.

What the fuck?

Jake starts to wonder if he dodged a bullet, the way she reacted to you being brought up just seemed so odd. Like the thought of you triggered her and Jake didn’t like that.

He held you close in his heart, as did his family, and he expects people to treat you with the same respect. Then again, how respectful has he been? Hearing Laura speak about you and try to lie about you just made him feel so guilty.

He couldn’t just man up and accept the fact that he loves you, he feels he's ruined everything.

His head perks up remembering you called him. He rushed downstairs to lock his door and immediately came back up to pick up his phone staring at the missed call from ‘Sunshine’.

Jake hesitantly tapped the play button on the voicemail putting it on speaker. Upon hearing your voice his wall broke. You made him weak in the knees. He listened for a little longer realizing you were drunk.

Is she alone?

Is she okay?

Why is she drunk?

He silently cursed himself for even going this long without talking to you. The only reason he was semi-okay in your absence was because josh and Danny would bring you up occasionally so he at least knew you were safe.

Jake was now even more pissed at himself for even letting things get this far between you guys.

‘I know you said to not bother reaching out but you mean so much to me, more than you know..'

Jakes ears started ringing, hearing you say he means something to you made his love for you just buzz even stronger within him.

He fucked up.

Aside from his romantic feelings, you were his best friend and he couldn’t believe he just shut you out.

He could hear the hurt in your voice and regretted everything he said. Even if he was getting in his head that wasn't your responsibility and he shouldn’t have pointed the finger at you just to make himself feel temporarily better.

’…I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for whatever I said.. or did. I'm ready to talk about it whenever you are..'

Jake couldn’t listen any further, the sound of your voice cracking during your apology saddened him. You had nothing to apologize for and he hated that he made you feel like you did. He needed to make things right.

He immediately called back and upon receiving no answer, he panicked. Every bad possibility was running through his head a mile a minute. He didn’t hesitate to throw on a shirt and grab his keys.

Jake had never rushed to your house so fast in his life. It was like a grand awakening for him. He vowed to do right by you and ultimately failed you. Hearing you so upset over his absence completely broke him.

Jake was having a hard time collecting his thoughts over this. Deep down he knew Laura was just a distraction from his feelings for you and instead of accepting the fact that he only had eyes for you, he villainized you.

Somehow having a reason to be angry with you only made it easier to shy away from the head high he gets just being around you. Your scent, the way your expression softens upon his gaze without fail, the way your hair perfectly frames your face, how you smile with your eyes and your nose scrunches when you laugh.

He was foolish to not realize these aren’t just things he notices you do, these are things that made him fall in love with you and he had been so incredibly ignorant to not realize earlier.

He pulled into your driveway and almost forgot to turn off his car from how much of a hurry he was to get to you. Jake wasted no time banging on the door.

You were startled from your slumber from the loud knocking coming from your front door, you stood up too fast and your vision went hazy. You completely forgot about your day drinking and the wine glass that had sent you over the edge until you almost lost your balance.

“Hold on! I'm coming!!” You shouted assuming it was Josh coming back to bother you. The incessant knocking never ceased until you stumbled over and swung the door open.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you were face to face with the man who had left you in the dark for almost two weeks.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you said softly, staring as his chest heaved up and down.

Part 3

Taglist:

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