#^ more thoughts on this in the rbs btw
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something something guy who is so so unhealthily dependent on these very specific formalized roles & narratives they've been cast into to maintain an ultimately broken relationship & can't handle it when the people around him increasingly start going off script
#i'm not articulating this well but it's sooo interesting to me#this + him not being willing to believe the institution is also breaking the 'rules' & doing evil things bc it doesn't fit this world view#he's so invested in. even though deep down he sort of knows this but he won't even let it get past his subconscious bc it's so distressing#AND like him convincing himself the joust incident was an accident bc he'd repeated it so many times even tho he Knows it wasn't#thoughts#nimona#nimona comic#^ more thoughts on this in the rbs btw
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having a mutual where their f/o has tried to kill my f/o (or vice versa) is my favorite thing
like sorry our little guys got into a fight to the death- let's just hope it doesnt happen again. oh, also, love u
#this applies to more f/os than i thought#its so funny#this is genuine btw#love u all#this is ok to rb if u want but idk if its appealing#ramblerambleramble
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well. now that I have the rage of 1000 suns in me after someone accused me of plagiarizing my original writing theory <3 it's time to get a little silly (SHARE THE UPDATED MEMO)! I present you:
Rachel's 4-Step Short Story Breakdown
In this breakdown, I've included:
My 4-step approach to story structure (for stories between 1200-3500 words)
Special notes that expand on my thoughts
A list of (free to read online) short stories to study (links embedded)
Feel free to rb/share as you see fit! :)
#i'm not upset btw my rb rant probably reads more like I'm upset i'm just more like... disappointed like girl you can do better than this#ALSO this made me realize why someone saying I copied this irritated me this is probably 40 hours of work across brainstorming my thoughts#reading all the stories included writing out the memo making that video then coming back and expanding on it LOL#ANYWAY I LOVE THIS APPROACH I HOPE IT'S HELPFUL
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hot take: not that it matters, but I truly don’t think lazy people actually exist. even if we DO run with the truly heartless idea that everyone has to be “useful” for the right to live, everyone wants to be “useful”. Everyone wants to do something. Nobody wants to completely waste away doing nothing, that’s just not the nature of living. They just don’t have the drive to go with the options the government has decided are worth having the right to live for. And they shouldn’t have to.
#somari funny moments.#remember when I had ‘I don’t touch politics’ or whatever it was in my about page? anyways#librarians! artists! photographers! EVERYTHING is something SOMEONE wants to do!!#we don’t need this system!! we’ll do all of it anyways!! AND more people will do it#again. it doesn’t matter. even if I’m wrong they have the right to live without being miserable#just the thought process of someone who was called lazy their whole life. and is being punished now that they actively want not to be#god I’m sorry anyone who followed me for that pokemon post I SWEAR once I’ve moved out and start hrt I’ll be funny again#okay to rb btw. I’m FIRM on this
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*grabs you by the shoulders and looks directly into your eyes*
remember that the people are worth more than the media they produce. remember that if you live outside of a culture then you have GOT to be more mindful of said culture's contexts, values, and histories when interacting with media from that culture. remember that asians do not exist for the commodification of their cultures, that their pop culture industries are NOT innocent and can reflect harmful practices and worldviews, that the western lens through which asian media as a whole is perceived can lead to misguided interpretations, that you SHOULD be putting in the work to understand what you're ignorant of, and that we only ask for the respect and acknowledgement that comes with being people. remember that queer asians still struggle, around the world and in their home countries, and that the explosion of yaoi/yuri/bl/gl media does not change that and is NOT an indication of the politics and general population's approval as a whole. remember that the cultures and histories cannot be contained to what you see on a screen and that there is so much more in the actual world outside. just please please PLEASE remember for the love of god
#there are way more issues than this of course but as someone who primarily runs an animanga blog and is chinese-korean#this is my obligatory 'hey it's aapi month so here are some thoughts'#anyways happy aapi month i love all of my fellow asians and pacific islanders#okay to rb btw!!
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thinking about the concept of animal saints. particularly the canine saint. thinking about the possibilities in magic with this. obsessed with the implications and being able to ask for help via the divine intervention of a very, very good boy. and then giving them a treat when the magic goes well
#witchcraft#chaos magick#ig those are good enough tags. anyway. this also extends to other animals as well btw -- dogs are just close to my heart#both in practice and in general. but i wanna put the idea of the animal saint out there bc i think it's fascinating and also i think#a generalized sainthood not only can but SHOULD be extended to other life than humans. not in a strictly catholic sense either#more thoughts to come in a rb#vincent bellows
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When a bad day at the end of a few bad weeks turns into being terrified you’re getting worse and terrified you’re never getting better
#vent#<?#I’m not doing too hot if you couldn’t tell#disabled#tourettes#mobility aid#when not being able to decide which leg feels worse right now turns into using both canes at once and then spiraling slightly over the#implications of that#I swear I’m normally positive about these kinds of things but the last few weeks have just been hell and the thought of becoming more disabl#disabled than I already am is terrifying to me#as much as I’m usually normal about this. I don’t want things to get worse. I don’t want to have to face the possibility of the things I lov#love being taken away from me because my body has decided it can’t or won’t handle them#I’m so tired.#edit: this is ok to rb btw
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i'm realizing through this book i'm reading (same-sex affairs: constructing and controlling homosexuality in the pacific northwest) that like... yknow the conflation between homosexuality and pedophilia. well i've realized why that is, and that it's more than just all "sexual perversions" getting lumped together by homophobes. but also insanely enough more mundane
it's literally that for many decades, the only concept most people were able to have of gay men were through the lens of it being a crime. aka arrest records and the newspapers telling you who got put in jail last night. obviously gay men who were only having consensual sex with other gay adult men did get caught sometimes, but you could only catch them if they were doing it in public, if you were sneaking around in their private home, or if someone involved ratted them out. and if you ratted someone out, whatever motivation you might have, you were also ratting yourself out, so why would you do that? but if you were underage, especially if it was non-consensual, you wouldn't be in trouble at all. so of course the majority of the "immoral acts" charges are going to be between an adult and a minor.
not only that but apparently "youth" in referring to a young person used to literally mean anyone under the age of 21. and the vast majority of charges that read "engaged in immoral acts with a youth" it's referring to like a 17 y/o or even 18 or 19. so then ppl in later decades read that and misinterpreted it too.
and that's literally it lol..... it feels obvious in hindsight but i never would have thought about it. crazy what bias confirmation does.
#i'd highly recommend the book and also Gay New York btw#they're both centered around the same time period and the emergence of gay culture#(and emergence of the widespread concept of gay as something you can BE instead of just something you do--#--specifically one of the many degenerate things done by lower classes and immigrants#prior to the white middle class becoming aware that their own could do it too. and what that meant for concepts of gender and sexuality)#just different parts of the US. but the pacific northwest one centers mostly on the aftermath of a specific scandal#and it's CRAZY#a lot of modern gay culture would probably be different if not for the actions of like one gay kid#who ratted out portland's whole secret gay community in 1912 bc he got caught shoplifting and thought that info would protect him#i wish i could ask him now if that was worth it. god#anyway i do also think that as for actual cases of gay adult-minor relations. the criminalization of homosexuality in the first place#is partially to blame. like at least for some of it#bc surely part of the motivation there is specifically seeking out boys who do NOT have the social power to be homophobic to you#ntm homophobia in general giving men an idea of needing to be the masculine one. and youth is automatically more 'feminine'#not an excuse just an explanation btw. yeah just my 2 cents#ok to rb
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It's my birthday!!! I'm turning 20!!!!
#salad says!#im gonna get gushy here#so#ive grappled with the fact its a new decade for a while now and that doaent bother me#i think qll of my friends think thwyre old now ans waisting their lives but i know im not#but#its still weird to be here#i thought for so long i wasnt gonna live go 15#then i thought i was gonna kill myself before i turned 18#and i thiught that all the time and all of my moments awake and asleep thinking about it#then i just didnt#and i talked to emma about it recently and she told me how proud of me she was#i found a reason to keep goin#once i stopped thinking about death i started finding beauty everywhere and in everything and i started being *happy* for more than brief#moments#i love myself#im happy im 20#im happy im here#ok to rb btw
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There's something interesting to be said about the opinions of different fanbases based on culture and how it affects the votes but it's late and I can't write it out too much so only one example for today: amane
Down under the cut so if it gets too long it won't affect anyone's scrollin
Also warning the tags are long on this one
- <- this indicates a new talking point
Basically I think the jp/more asian parts of the fandom tend to lean towards greater good (amane guilty to protect shidou/mahiru/fuuta because if shidous incapacitated in any way someone's dying, mahiru is prone to dying any moment, fuuta is prone to cult mindset rn). Despite my non japanese speaking ass not being able to gather direct evidence for this, I use those surrounding me (asian in asian country) as evidence; namely, how they're mostly amane guilty voters
-Now I'm not saying my personal take but the reason given for guilting her is well. As much as it will cause her more woe it's one way of guaranteeing the safety of the prison. Shidou is the only medical professional after all, and she's "completely hostile" towards him, acc to jackalope. And she doesn't need to overpower him; shes smart, and could sabotage his equipment or just like. Go for his hands to incapacitate him. I doubt he'd fight back.
-Alternatively, it's because it would cause her to fall back on believing she's right. Telling her she's forgiven with how she's acting would cause her to believe her persistance and dedication to this (harmful) mindset is what got her forgiven in the first place
-Meanwhile more western? English fanbase ig I'm not too sure of demographic, but the English speaking side tends to focus on how it affects her. Because of the belief that another guilty verdict will cause more harm to her, an innocent verdict is the obvious solution. What I've seen is the greater focus on what caused the murder over the murder itself and the effects of an innocent verdict on others and then her beliefs. A focus on the past over what she's promised to do in the present and future perhaps. Idk.
-Another reason for the difference could. Possibly be how punishment is viewed? Western countries have much more stigma over any form of punishment but in Asian countries it's normal. Now while I'd say physical punishment isn't the way to go, the refusal of punishment shouldn't be rewarded (imo) but that's all I'll say on it.
-The English fanbase also focuses a lot on how young amane is and how her circumstances were terrible and all that. Those around me tend to focus more on her thoughts around the crime, what she believes the crime was for and how in the right she thinks she is. This may also be the cause of the moral grandstanding I see so often (ie. If you vote amane guilty you're a baaad person) (I don't agree with this btw. That's stupid this is fiction don't insult others over an opinion)
What I will say is the English speaking side is more sympathetic towards amane. They (y'all?) Take her situation into a lot of consideration, and focus on her age as a large factor. Whereas those around me and I assume might be close to the views of the japanese fanbase are more objective, looking at what harm she could cause and what's the greater of the two evils, as well as what she's going to do with the verdict (ie. Use the inno verdict as her doctrines are correct and very right).
There's slight thought given to her age and circumstance of course, by it that's not the main concern rn. Given the current situation, most of my milgram voting friends stay certain that an innocent verdict will not end well, hence the guilty vote. I mean I have a couple friends that feel bad for guiltying her because of her circumstance, but do it anyway cuz it's for the better. My opinion is that she should've been innocent trial one, since we wouldn't have known the concequences, but it's too late now and an innocent will cause more harm overall
tldr asian fanbase from experience focus on the crime itself + what they're gonna do with that experience whereas eng speaking fanbase focus on the circumstances surrounding the crime and on judging only the crime
In myyy opinion. Judging only the crime based on your interpretation isn't how the system should be working, it should take into consideration the prisoners' attitudes and how the prisoner perceives the crime as well.
I hope this was coherent I typed it out at 11pm and went to bed immediately after and I've barely edited anything cuz awake me is less coherent than half asleep me
Also hope this was an interesting post? This topic is interesting to me but I explain better in speaking over typing so it's probably hard to read but I hope this topic scritches y'all's brains like it does mine :)
#milgram#amane momose#inder the cut to save space kekw#sorry if this post feels like im calling yall lab rats cuz i kinda am#treating the milgram tag like a giant social studies exam (i have not passed social studies this year)#ive done my beat to compare bur i lost half my thoughts while typing this out last night whoops#ive also done my best to be comprehensible but i have too many thoughts at the same time for that#alsp for the record im an amane neutral voter (i dont vote)#j have another point on the age thing about how while eng side takes young age into consideration#it also overstates the maturity of our older prisoners (shidou namely#as ive seen people say that medical guilt theory doesnt work cuz of how extreme his guilt is#of which belongs to a different post but basically dude hes only 29 thats not that old. also to lose everything at any age is devastating#moral grandstanding point may be more indicative of internet culture overall btw but i cant get data on that for jp fans#sorry for being incomrpehensible i jusy talk like this#also very important no insulting anyone in rbs. even if its not me. thats rude#long post#i have a great disdain for people who claim amane guilty voters are evil btw. respect others online ffs#anyways next post will be about shidou and theories around him#specifically my hatred for the organ harvesting theory and my proposed alternate theories#but rhat will be the next time im tired and insane#im also posting this relatively unedited so i dont chicken out 💥 im trusting yall
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It's not easy to be a guy with a weird gender and complicated relationships with its sexuality and romantic attraction and fat and autistic and traumatized to the bone but someone has to do it
#luly talks#i tried to rb a post but i hit post limit and i lost it LMAO but i find it interesting how my things overlap#bc as some of you might know i grew up as a fat little girl and you know the world fucking hates us#and on top of that autistic although i had the most neurodivergent ppl along w me#i still wasn't like my other friends tho i always was slightly more lonely slightly more disconnected#they were in on things i didn't seem to be in the social spectrum and i never understood that#and one of those things was indeed romance and dating and in my teen years sex too#like by default i was seen as undesirable. just by virtue of being fat and also kinda androgynous#and the autism just. kept me far away from any social circle or interaction that'd bring me closer to an encounter of any kind#and i always yearned lord knows i still dream of Ana but the thing is i...#i just. love romance in paper#i love the idea of romance. i love the yearning i love the feeling#i know the feeling bc i know euphoria! i know the euphoria that comes from love.#but to me that's a very short lived feeling specially when engaging directly with it#i think its part of a matter of being taught what romantic attraction is and how they paint it#it's similar to how you are taught X and Y is hot even before you understand why#like i remember my mother always joking w me about male mannequins' cocks and like sure i played along#bc i thought it was funny and if the adult i seeked approval from did it then i absolutely should too#but she also scolded me once (and btw i was like 15) bc idk i was acting. like a perv?#and it's so bizarre in retrospective bc it might have been before the age of 15 bc i really didn't care about such matters then#I've always been amaizing at masking i love understanding people and why they do what they do and replicating them#so me being positive to sex and romance is to be expected#but at the same time its weird bc i cannot bring myself to hating it but i also just. dont fucking feel it#but at least w sex comes the horror of having a body too like there's a lot man#but my point is that its funny how despite being seen as undesirable for society i was unaffected bc i was oblivious to it
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so. statistically, there must be one person on earth who Gets a character more than anyone else. and since there are (about) as many characters as people, then statistically, the person who understands that character more than anyone could be you! there's really no evidence to absolutely prove it otherwise... it's just a statistical inevitability that the character you love is the character only you get. statistically, of course.
#chirping#this post is. A Joke!!!#there is obviously more nuance than that. however.#this is a funny and charming thought to me. ok?#fine to rb btw ^___^
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25 and 26 for ur current favs 💕
JASMINE HI HI DEAR <3 i hope your doing well and thank you so much ! will be doing olga and @risingsh0t's logan as they're to have little ones 💕 🌸
COUPLES AND THEIR KIDS QUESTIONNAIRE
25. are they the type of parents to boast about their kids’ achievements?
i would have to say in a way? olga would certainly be over the moon by anything they do <3 and would be the one to also take a step back and let them and their achievements shine on their own? they more than deserve to be celebrated and she would want them to have that! she is in awe and proud they are theirs and that is enough <3 though olgie is certain to be found a bit misty eyed arm around logans as they're being recognized. she's proud of them and over the moon to be there to support them !
26. who is more likely to give in to “puppy dog eyes” when their kids misbehave?
though certainly as olga has captured what was thought locked away behind a impenetrable wall of logans feelings, olga's family wasn't much for the puppy eyes (a family of politicians and scientists/doctors don't have time for puppy dog eyes I GUESS *sighs*) i think it would be her to be the one most often to fall for the eyes? as it was she as a child to use them, she would be caught off guard and likely to fall for it if it was used on her hehe <3
#🐚: jasmine#girlbosselrond#also i adore ur url btw <3 he isssss he is!#oc: olga litvinchuck#🌞: alyssa#oc: logan campbell#x: wolf x swan#x: olga x logan#because shes the clown of the hour and their the dears always on my heart hehe <3#i haven't thought of names yet (maybe one named sasha after her brother?) or faces but ! babies! and im thinking two?#both were likely on accident (virgo olga? its more likely than you think!!!!!) but nonetheless she loves them with her whole being <3#not me crying knowing it can be the family shes always wanted and her babies being the siblings to each other she wished she had w/sasha!#im also thinking daughters as well? as sasha can be a masculine or feminine name ! <3#i have to rb this again especially them bc ! gahhh i love them so much :')#and this ask game is SO CUTE#leg.txt#leg.asks#leg.ocs#friends ocs#the fixation is strong with olga sksjjshz she’s the dear of the moment ! 🥀🥹
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gonna be so honest rn: some of u treat the sakusa ocd headcanon like glee show writers treat the emma ocd canon. and that's not a compliment
#i have more thoughts on this take but no one wants to hear those LMAO#ok to rb/reply#but this sure as fuck isnt being main tagged LOL#im watching asian f rn btw. so im thinking about it.
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just found out some cats chirp as an elated greeting to their loved ones instead of as a hunting instinct and it's definitely something I wanna work into my furry universes' characters and worldbuilding. like, imagine a furry catgrl who excitedly chirps and waves at her besties as they meet for coffee. (I might draw that... I think it's a cute idea with some potential.)
#but will i make the furry cat girl in question jupiter? youll just have to wait and see#obligatory 'jupiter is my ocs name' mention#i love the 'furry reminder' trope (aka like. reminders that they evolved from animals and thus have some of their traits)#i have more thoughts in the rbs btw. or will at some point today
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friendship is cool bc you get to have these funny little guys who make you happy and become a better person or whatever and laugh a lot. but then there’s the horrors (trying to see and message them frequently enough when you know you can’t possibly juggle all of them all at once and never knowing the best answer)
#nightmare.personal#maybe i tell my irls to fuck off for a week so i can just get to work repairing all my online relationships#i won't actually do that but like. my social battery is so fucked#also there's the other issues but we don't talk aboutu those <- diseased interpersonally#we do talk abt those a lot but im turning over a new leaf to be normal#this is late night confessionals. hi i know cool people. wish i fucking knew how to talk to anybody#its so stupid too bc when i message them or join a vc everyone accepts me like i was never gone and is friendly and kind and all that#but then it's like. do ppl think im not committing. do they think i don't care#and like how do i convince people i care when im barely here and barely know whats going on#idk. wish klav was here he's better at fucking online things i think#i think im doing good socializing with my irls at least. like scheduling hangouts#when my gf comes back i need to see her like asap bc my brain is fucking obliterating itself but thats unrelated#sorry this is litrally late night thoughts#dont rb btw#my irl social life is better and i think part of me sees that as more important?#like obviously all my friends are important to me diffeerently but. if i disappear on an irl for a while they'll give me shit for it#versus online that's just life you know but. i don't know.#sometimes i wonder if my online friends know how much they mean to me and i realize they probably don't and i get scared#and then i wonder how all of them have to feel about me at that point and we don't really have to go into that but like#i don't know. it's always a little a lot scary#and people seem to be so natural at doing this online but i meanwhile just fucking can't#i'm allergic to discord servers its a thing. except the one im active in which makes me happy but i still forget to talk there all the time#so im still allergic but im choosing to partake. its like the lactose intolerance of the whole group
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