#[they canceled my holds on everything else lol]

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

Films: "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen", "The Secret of Kells", "The Mimic" (Korean version), and "Perfume: the story of a Murderer"?

put a film in my ask

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

The Secret Of Kells

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay (Very pretty animation. It's one of those movies) | good | great | a favorite

The Mimic (Korean version)

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

Perfume: the story of a Murderer

never seen ~The library doesn't have it :( | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Bonus Drabble 1

Summary: An encounter with a cashier leaves Jungkook ready to cause a scene Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 1K~ Warning: Explicit and suggestive language. Jungkook threatens to kill someone but like not really lol that's pretty much it a/n: This was an ask I got but both the anon and I'm sure a bunch of you love seeing jealous Jungkook so here's a short chapter of something that happened after they started dating 🤭 p.s. written in one sitting and barely edited Start from the beginning

"Can you wait in line for a second Darling? I forgot I needed to get one more thing" Jungkook asks me and I nod my head, humming as he places a kiss on my temple and rushes off to another part of the store.

While I wait mindlessly in line I end up getting lost in the different covers of magazines that are displayed around me in line. Leaving me obvious as to the fact that the cashiers have been switched out. Now having changed from a older man to one who's closer to my age that has been shamelessly checking me out since he laid his eyes on me.

Once I get closer to the front of the line I start to get a little antsy, seeing as Jungkook hasn't come back yet and I had forgotten my purse in the car. Lucky for me though there's no one else behind me in line so I won't have to worry about holding someone up.

"Did you find everything alright miss?" the man asks, having his eyes tracing up and down my figure after he finished helping the customer before me.

"Oh um, yes I did thanks. I'm just waiting for my boyfriend to come back" I point out, quickly seeing the look in his eyes.

I turn around and get on my tippy toes as if that would aide me in finding him faster but I can't seem to spot him anywhere.

I turn back around to face the cashier and notice that he's started to scan each item slower and slower and I'm not sure if it's his plan to keep me here longer or to prevent an awkward lull in the process.

Once he's scanned the last item and is ready to accept payment I look back at him and awkwardly laugh and he gives me a crooked smile in return.

"So about this boyfriend of yours, are things pretty serious? Because if you were mine I would never do something like this to you. Always make sure to keep you close and comfortable" he says, dropping his voice an octave, clearly trying his hand at seducing me.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself" I say and pull out my phone to pay instead, deciding that I'll just have Jungkook pay for whatever else he went to look for separately.

Once the cashier cues the system up for me to pay I feel a hand on my waist and relax, knowing exactly who it is.

"Add this one too" Jungkook says, coming back with my favorite ice cream that we had ran out of a few days ago.

The cashier clears his throat and cancels the payment, quickly adding on said item to the total before cueing up the system again and Jungkook places his card on the reader to pay.

"I thought I'd lost you" I say, laughing awkwardly while the cashier packs up our groceries. "I told you I'd be back. I just couldn't find it because you like the most random flavors that are placed in the weirdest of sections" he teases, placing a quick kiss on my lips.

He glares back up at the cashier who is nervously watching our exchange and audibly gulps once Jungkook cocks a brow at him.

"Next time, take a second before you start thinking with your dick alright?" Jungkook growls out, clearly holding himself back but needing to say something regardless.

"Yes sir" is the only response the cashier gives him, bowing his head as a means of apology but it still doesn't sit right with Jungkook leaving me having to physically usher him out of the store.

"Are you okay?" he asks once we're at his car, loading up the groceries after he's taken a second to calm down.

"I'm fine, although I'm glad that you came when you did. I was beginning to think he was going to try to ask me for my number or something" I say and I watch as Jungkook tongues his cheek, knowing that I probably should've kept some of this interaction to myself.

"Did you tell him you have a boyfriend?" he asks, placing the last bags in the trunk and shutting it a tiny bit harder than he usually would.

"Yeah but he didn't seem to care, asked if we were really that serious" I say, digging his grave deeper and deeper.

"I'm gonna kill him" he growls, making moves to head back inside and I run after him not being able to keep up with his long strides any other way and yank on his arm.

"No come on, let's just go. I'm perfectly fine alright. Let's just go home. Please?" I ask, making sure to add a little more pout than I usually would. A tactic that I hope will work to get him to calm down and forget about it.

He takes a deep breath and nods his head, letting me lead him back to the car and he opens the door for me but before I get in he put a hand on my waist and leaves me frozen in place.

"When we get home I'm gonna show you just how serious I am about you. Okay Bunny?" he asks, posed as more of a threat than anything else leaving me shivering, thinking about what I've gotten myself into.

I let out a choked back 'okay' before he slaps my ass and tells me to get in the car leaving me already clenching, dying to know what he's going to do to me

When he sits in the drivers side beside me he starts the car and places a hand on the back of my seat looking out the back window to help him back out before switching gears back into drive.

He immediately places his hand on my thigh, sliding it up my skirt and starts tracing patterns on the inside of my thigh, driving me absolutely insane from just these simple touches.

I'm fucked.

Hopelessly, painfully, deliciously fucked and I can't help but count the minutes until we get home.

Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie

[ratskinsuit]

Romantic Velvette headcanon with a male autistic S/O if you can? (Can be either SFW or NSFW or both, but it’s up to you)

Velvette x Autistic Male!Reader

———————————————————————

A/N: Okay so I personally am not autistic, but I have a lot of friends who are. I tried to research to get more information so that I could make this accurate and not offend anyone. And huge thanks to @rdgart12345 for telling me a bit about autistic traits so I could better understand and write an autistic reader correctly! I hope that I didn’t offend anyone or spread misinformation. Otherwise please enjoy!

(Picture credits to GemSubArt on deviantart)

———————————————————————

Okay so when you two first started dating and you told her you were autistic she wouldent really know what it is

Once you explain it to her however she would start to understand

To better understand you she would do a bunch of research and ask a lot of questions

She would try to educate herself so much so that she can be a good partner to you (Plz I love her sm)

If you don’t like certain textures of food, or clothes or blankets she will try to find something else that you feel comfortable with

Like if you don’t like the feel of a certain food she will find something else for you to eat and won’t get mad

She just wants you to be comfortable eating and not get stressed out (she will try to memorize what textures your don’t like and will try to avoid them as best as she can)

If you tend to fidgit a lot or need something to keep you entertained she got you

If you ever ask her if she has anything you can do she has a bag full

Things like fidget toys, game recommendations for phones/iPads ect-, sketchbooks, coloring books, you name it

Will bring you to work with her if you don’t work or are just free and cuddle you in her lap if it’s just in her office (if your not okay with touching you two are just chilling together)

If you two are ever out at like a party or something and get overstimulated, or everything is just too loud and your overwhelmed she will notice (even if you don’t tell her)

Once she finds out she will take you somewhere quieter and give you things like noise cancelling headphones, or music to listen to, or fidgets from her bag

And if you want to be alone, I’m ngl she would be kind of hesitant to but would, or if you want her there she would just kind of cuddle you and stroke your hair

forhead kisses (not even just for autism it’s just her in general lol

will let you talk about your hyperfixations for hours

like if you wanna talk to someone about it just call her up and she will be like “You got it pretty boy, on my way now.”

she is very affectionate, like always holding your hand, hugging/kissing you, cuddles, you name it

if you are not very touchy she will try to not do it as much but it may be hard for her.

If anyone ever insults you she will fight them

Like if you don’t like loud sounds she will ask you to leave because she will SCREAM at them

Ms girl is very protective of you and loves you with all her heart, quirks and all

SHORT DRABBLE

———————————————————————

It’s a lazy Saturday, you and Velvette are sitting in the couch of her apartment just spending time together, cuddling and watching shows. She has recently been working a lot and so she’s been busy and you two haven’t been spending a lot of time together.

To make it up to you, she bought you a box of your favorite candy, a little goodie bag full of small trinkets of a thing your into(your choice on what it is), full of erasers, stickers, pencils, a little squishy and other stuff.

Your laying you head on her lap, she strokes your hair and listens as you rant about your recent obsession, listening intently with a smile on her face.

You look up at her for a moment, stopping talking. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You frown.

“What? Am I not allowed to smile at my boyfriend?” She teases, pinching your cheek, leaning back with a grin.

“Ow fuck that hurt!” You complain jokingly.

“Aw you want a kiss to make it feel better?” She says, kissing your cheek, pulling back with a satisfied grin.

You blush a bit and she laughs. “Not good enough.” You joke, poking her.

“Aw man! Hm.” She thinks. “Well to make it up to you, how about we go get some of your favorite food?” She asks, as you sit up.

“Oh yes please!” You smile, getting up from the couch.

She sits up, and grabs you hand, kissing it and walking with you out the door.

———————————————————————

A/N: First time writing an autistic reader and a male reader, I hope I did okay. Im sorry if the Drabble is not the best I had a hard time thinking of ideas.I hope you enjoyed!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

[littledeathdove]

Family Woman Miranda, basically a rant/headcanons about what Miranda would be like if she had her own small family going on

Ok so obviously Miranda would have Eva back in this and a wife. Now I wouldn’t see Miranda’s whole family thing going on here to be complete until like Eva is two years old.

The reason why is because I strongly believe Miranda would give all her attention to Eva once she is back to where she isn’t paying attention to any possible lovers, you know what I mean? But once Eva is two I do feel like Miranda would be slightly more used to having her baby back to where she can give her mind to other things for a second.

Plus I do believe Miranda would want Eva to grow up with a complete and loving family, especially if Eva even so much as mentions wanting another parent. Listen Miranda will give that little girl whatever she wants so if she wants another mom, Eva will be getting another mom.

Now with that out of my system let me talk about the whole Miranda as a whole mom and wife cause I got a few things to say about that

Miranda would be very protective of both you and Eva. But it isn’t as noticeable since Miranda barely ever has to protect you or her daughter from any threats. When there do happen to be some threats coming against your life, especially physical ones, Miranda immediately deals with it. And suddenly you are limited on how much you go out without her physically being there with you afterwards.

Eva holds a very high image in the village, thanks to Miranda of course. So there will be no threats to her life on the villager's end because they all know that Eva is their priestess's daughter. So the threats would instead be like when it comes to sickness surely. We all really know why so I don’t have to explain that lol. But when sickness does even slightly start to spread in the village Miranda would either kill the sick ones ORR she would just put them under quarantine. But I would see her likely just killing them because that eliminates the whole threat of the sickness coming upon Eva altogether. 

Miranda would cook most of the meals and everything would be made homemade, nothing is eaten from premade products. Couldn’t fully explain my headcanon with this besides the fact that Miranda made Rose’s baby food all homemade as Mia in the game. I do believe she does it because of the love she has for both you and Eva so she wants you to have good homemade food because of it, but I also believe it to be because she doesn’t like the idea of you two eating something not fresh or healthy

This is especially true if such premade products did somehow make it into the village. Just know you will not be getting them (unfortunately)

Miranda cancels things just to spend time with you and Eva, I mean like the woman is basically with you the whole day. Basically, she is clingy when it comes to you two but don’t say that to her or else you will get a mean remark out of her.

Miranda's clinginess has her spending extra minutes in bed even after you wake up. Don’t even get me started on how long it would take her to get out of bed if Eva snuck into y’all’s bed in the middle of the night.

She always is holding Eva whenever she can, Eva could have been the type of baby that cries immediately after being put down and Miranda wouldn’t even care nor do anything to fix the behavior since she loves to have Eva close to her.

Not to mention Miranda does randomly come up to you and just warp one of her arms around you or lays her head down on your shoulder. Sometimes this could last for mere seconds or a good couple of minutes, it all just depends on if you are doing something interesting and she gets distracted by watching you.

Now if Miranda isn’t around you physically for whatever reason don’t worry because there is always a crow following you if you do go out with Eva when she isn’t there

OH TALKING ABOUT CROWS, ok ok so I have this cute headcanon that Miranda has specific crows she brings out for both you and Eva. Eva’s crow is the one you can see above her grave in the game, and yours would be a slightly bigger crow than the others you see. Oh, and that’s on purpose too because just in case you do get attacked while out and about the crow will always be watching over you and will be just strong enough to leave some damage on your attacker before Miranda gets there thanks to its slightly larger size.

Miranda reads Eva's bedtime stories almost every night. It just depends on Eva’s decision for that night. Not isn’t a surprise that Miranda is a good storyteller since the woman is dramatic at times, but yeah, Miranda is a very good storyteller. Not to mention her voice is very calming as she is reading stories to Eva, so it’s very hard not to go to sleep with such a soft voice soothing you to sleep.

Miranda spoils both you and Eva a lot. It’s very obvious Eva would get anything she wants after being gone from Miranda’s life for so long, but when it comes to you as her wife, it’s more surprising. Before you even became her wife — during the courting stage — Miranda appears randomly and just hands you gifts, especially jewelry. Even after you both marry Miranda still comes up to you when you’re taking care of the house and just handing you a random gift. No reason and even if you ask you won’t get a good explanation anyway.

Miranda also doesn’t let you pay for anything with your own money, you can only purchase things under Miranda’s name/money. Is this also because of her unknowing want to spoil you? Yes.

Hmmm, yeah I think that’s all the headcanons I got for family woman Miranda. Am probably going reblog this post if I think of some more cute headcanons

[owlbloop]

If someone lets you borrow or carry or touch their disability aid treat it like it's worth it's volume in gold

Or like a soul was sold to obtain that thing

I do not care if it's a cane or a brace or a wheelchair or noise canceling headphones or communication device or even just* a person's main fidget/sensory object

You do not throw it around

Twirl it wildly on your finger

Punch or slam it

Take it without explicit permission

Play with it without explicit permission

Test it without explicit permission

Dirty it

Eat food around or over it(particularly things like sugar doughnuts or greasy food that are messy/staining/hard to clean)

Hold it carelessly

You do

Hold it gently and with care while permitted

Ask before doing anything beyond that

Make sure you don't lose it

Protect it from harm

Keep it in sight of the owner unless told otherwise

Return it as soon as asked

Appreciate the show of trust the person may be displaying in leaving it in your care

If using it thank the person for letting you test or borrow it

Disability aids are not just a person's belongings

Everyone has different boundaries, learn and respect those, because everyone has a different relationship with them

But they are an extension of a person and deeply linked to the functionality of their life

For some people their disability aids are almost comparable to body parts

My headphones might only be headphones to you

But they are a lifeline to me

They literally opened up my world

With them I can go to aquariums and enjoy some restaurants and go to some festivals and so much else

I don't have to worry about auditory stimming

I don't have to argue constantly with people putting me in pain, just sometimes lol

I can actually relax in a way I literally couldn't for the majority of my life

Sure they aren't perfect, they don't block everything out and I can't bring/wear them everywhere

But they're still so much more than a pair of headphones

They're my freedom, my escape, my access to so much of my world

And if someone doesn't return them, or loses them, or breaks them, or damages them, or disrespects them?

Then they hurt or disrespect me as well

*Fidget and sensory objects can actually be a serious deal

They can literally allow a person to be part of traditional society, stop minimize panic attacks/shutdowns/anxiety attacks/meltdowns, hold a job

And can significantly improve quality of life

So unless you know someone's specific deal

don't assume a fidget or sensory objects importance

Also a lot of autistic people and traumatized ND's have emotionally very important comfort items that are often related to sensory objects. Damaging or messing with these can be EXTREMELY distressing for some people. These aren't necessarily disability aids but still, you really shouldn't mess with them

[huckleberrykai]

choi beomgyu ~ not so secret

pairing: beomgyu x fem!reader summary: secretly dating someone in a house of six people isn't easy - especially when you wander out of his bedroom wearing nothing but his shirt. genre: college au, secret relationship, best friends to lovers, romcom vibes lol, suggestive but no actual smut warnings: kissing, implied sex, mentions of peeing lol, swearing word count: 1.7k click here for my masterlist!

when you and your three best friends from high school all managed to get into the same college as your two older friends who graduated before you, you all knew what you had to do.

move in together of course <3

your new apartment wasn't perfect. there was only four bedrooms for six people and only one shared bathroom - which wasn't ideal. you loved it though, you got to move out and live with your best friends - who cared if you all had to fight over the bathroom every morning?

being the only girl, you got your own bedroom by default for your own comfort. you didn't particularly mind, you were comfortable enough with your friends to not feel any pressure to dress well around the house or be 'ladylike' - you could manspread to your heart's content and you knew they wouldn't care - but you definitely weren't going to argue with getting a decent sized bedroom all to yourself with no argument.

the others played rock paper scissors to decide who would get the other room and not have to share - beomgyu won, and they decided it was only fair he got the smallest room, which honestly was more like a glorified closet, but he seemed content with it. taehyun decided to room with kai, and yeonjun roomed with soobin.

finally getting to reconnect with your friends who were in their 2nd year of college was exciting since you missed them dearly once they graduated. you did miss one of them a little more than the others though...

everything was going great for the first couple of months, minus the bathroom arguments until one teeny tiny minor thing changed.

you and beomgyu started dating.

you had liked each other even in high school and had a flirty friendship the whole time, and so you were overjoyed when he kissed you in the kitchen at 4am on a tuesday.

you agreed to be his girlfriend under the pretence that nobody else could know - at least for a little while. you didn't want to lie to your friends, but both of you knew you'd be teased endlessly, and you just wanted a little while to settle into your relationship before you let anyone else know.

and so that you did. the two of you thrived on stolen kisses and longing glances, dedicating any free time you had to each other, cuddling in bed and letting out everything you'd had to hold back when the boys were around.

then there was the incident.

beomgyu got an email at the beginning of the week to let him know his professor got sick and that classes had been cancelled until thursday. conveniently, you didn't have classes at all that week since it was a study period for an exam you had coming the week after. it was tuesday, and you knew yeonjun danced late on tuesday nights. soobin and taehyun had some lab work they needed to do in the evening after their classes, and kai planned to go see his family since he took the same classes as beomgyu and wanted to relax during his free time since classes were cancelled.

it had been a while since you and beomgyu had spent some... quality time together - and so the second the last person went out the door that day, he dragged you into his room and pushed you up against the door.

he pressed his lips to yours and let his hands wander down to your ass, giving it a squeeze as he pushed his body further into you.

"ah- gyu," you breathed out when he broke away to start feathering kisses down your neck. "maybe we should go somewhere else... they could be back at any time you know."

it wasn't the first time you'd been with him, but the two of you avoided being intimate in the apartment for obvious reasons. neither of you were particularly quiet and it was better safe than sorry. on this occasion though, beomgyu was very needy and honestly didn't give a flying fuck who heard you.

"i don't care." he whispered against your neck, finding your sweet spot and beginning to suck a hickey into your neck. a breathy moan slipped past you lips- "but what if they hear us?"

he pulled away from your neck, hooking his finger under your chin and looking directly into your eyes with a sly smirk.

"then be a good girl and be quiet for me hm?"

you awoke to the sound of a bird chirping on beomgyu's windowsill and the light shining in your eyes from the crack in his curtains. you didn't mean to fall asleep with beomgyu - you had an unwritten rule about sleeping in each other's rooms - but you'd spent almost the entire day in there yesterday, only leaving to grab your food from the delivery man and go to the bathroom.

you felt sore and sleepy as you wiggled out of beomgyu's grasp and sat up. you checked the time on his alarm clock - 10:36am.

you really needed to pee.

still in your sleepy daze, you grabbed your underwear from the floor and the first piece of clothing you could find to cover yourself up with and waddled through the apartment to get to the bathroom. empty! score.

while you were in the bathroom, you didn't hear kai and taehyun emerging from their bedroom and talking about their activities from the day before. kai had made plans to go see his cousin today, and taehyun and soobin were supposed to have a class together at 11:30. they were standing in the living room when yeonjun came crashing through the front door, explaining how he'd left his dance shoes at home and needed them for his class later. soobin emerged eventually too and they were all sitting in the living room, organising their backpacks and waiting on whoever was in the bathroom to leave so they could use it.

still weary-eyed and half asleep, you emerged from the bathroom - not noticing your audience until kai's cheery voice sounded out. "good morning Y/N!" you turned to them with a wave. "wait.. is that beomgyu's shirt?"

confused, you looked down at your attire.

oh. oh shit.

you were wearing nothing but your underwear and beomgyu's long black band shirt. the exact one he was wearing yesterday. "i- uh?"

you were much more awake now, but your brain was still failing you on a good excuse as to why you were so scantily clad, in beomgyu's clothes no less.

just as you were about to spew out some bullshit about him lending you it, another voice came into the room. "Y/N?"

he was clearly still sleepy, rubbing his eye and yawning as he showed up in the doorway of his room. your head snapped to look at him and you could have died from embarrassment when you noticed he hadn't even bothered to half dress himself, standing there in only his boxers.

"oh my god." yeonjun chimed in, finally finished stuffing his dance shoes into his bag and looking between the two of you. "DID YOU GUYS FU-" "YEONJUN!" soobin cut him off. "are... are you guys together?"

at the sound of the commotion, beomgyu came around, blinking as his eyes properly adjusted to the light. his eyes widened as soon as they found you in your... outfit. "oh my god," he sighed, turning to bang his head against the wall next to him.

"since when has this been a thing??" taehyun spoke up.

"uh... since last night?" you answered, more of a question than an answer.

"so you are together." soobin clarified. beomgyu turned from his dramatics and looked at you, "may as well just tell them. we can't get out of this one," he laughed. you rolled your eyes.

"we've been together for a few months," you admitted. "three months and sixteen days." you turned to glare at your boyfriend, who looked intimidated by your gaze. "not that i'm counting or anything..." he shrugged.

your friends' jaws hung open as you buried you face in your hands, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"why didn't you tell us? congrats!" yeonjun smiled. "yeah! we're so happy for you guys!" kai added on.

"you probably had a reason for not telling us so we won't pry, but we hope you're happy together," taehyun sent you a warm smile as beomgyu came up behind you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"we're really happy for you! just um... try to be quiet when you- you know," you nodded, not wanting to hear soobin talk about you fucking your boyfriend. "you know..." taehyun started, "we probably should have noticed before - you two are always acting weird and staring at eachother. i just put it down to beomgyu never getting over his high school crush but now that i think about it..."

"annnd let's change the subject!" you interjected. the man beside you let out his signature laugh and squeezed your shoulder. you gave him an agitated smile before shrugging his arm from your shoulder and pushing him backwards with your hands on his bare chest - back to his room. "come on, time to get dressed!"

you heard the echo of your friends' laughter as you pushed him into his room, following him in and closing the door behind you.

"well that went well!" he grinned, holding back his laughs. you playfully punched him in the shoulder and gave him an exasperated reply, "i can't believe you!"

"what? you were the one who went out in only your underwear and MY shirt??" he pointed out. "i was going to the bathroom! and borrowing a friend's clothes is normal!" you defended. "you don't think it was your fault? did you forget it's the morning and they were probably out there awake? and imagine how it looked when you walked out in your underwear and looking for me??" he laughed, cupping your jaw and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "don't panic, they know now, and everything's fine!"

you sighed, nestling yourself into his chest as his arms wrapped around you. "i guess you're right. at least we can spend more time together now and we don't have to sneak around," you smiled up at him shyly. he kissed your nose and smiled back fondly. "i love you Y/N." "i love you too gyu."

"you know... you should wear my shirts more often. you look hot."

"don't push it."

[animentality]

the fun thing about durgetash for me as far as definitely toxic ships go, is that gortash and durge, as individuals, are toxic. but the ship itself? not toxic at all in my take. because as horrible as they are as people, the love they have for each other is actually very genuine. everyone else in the world is dust under their boots except for each other. they truly respect each other and get along frighteningly well and listen to each other and support each other’s atrocities and so, if you ignore the screaming of their victims in the background, their relationship is actually kind of healthy.

to be fair: this is with my version of them in mind lol i know other people have spicer takes where they ARE actively toxic to each other and such, and those are fun too but ive gotten so into the version of them where they both just exude toxicity to everyone in their lives EXCEPT each other. it’s already a trope im very weak to but its especially crazy with them. its like they cancel each other out somehow lol

like i think it takes a while to get to that point of course, to build up actual trust enough to feel even slightly safe around each other, but once they open up to each other the affection-starvation just jumps out. and then despite everything they manage to actually be gentle with each other. and neither of them deserves gentleness of any sort, but they get it anyway, from each other.

so for me durgetash is “toxic” only by virtue of the individuals involved being horrible terrible people, and because they gleefully support each other’s evil plans, and not because of how they actually treat each other, which is actually the closest thing to “normal” either of them will ever experience (and it is still so, so far from “normal” lol)

but it’s still also nice to be in a ship where the discourse is so obvious we don’t even bother lol. yes gortash has a list of human rights abuses longer than he is tall. yes he’s gonna have an evil cuddle with his evil partner-in-crime in their evil bedroom after a long, hard day of being evil. and i’m gonna be thinking about it <3

Anon, you get me.

I think durgetash just works because...they are so blatantly evil.

Gortash tortured a bunch of people trying to figure out how tadpoles worked, and the evidence of his crimes is in the mindflayer colony beneath Moonrise and in the Steel Watch Foundry. His Steel Watch guards literally kill children and innocent families.

The Dark Urge mentions killing (eating?) a BABY. They have killed thousands. They eat human meat. They torture people.

They both started the entire plot by being total pieces of shit.

So what are you going to do?

Cancel them???

The game cancels them.

Gortash literally got cancelled so hard his brain popped.

The Dark Urge dies in most playthroughs. They only become redeemable by literally dying and becoming a new person. Plus their life is so fucking awful, that it almost cancels out how bad they are, because they're a vessel of Bhaal, who can either choose obedience or death.

They are both so outrageously evil, you can't even be outraged.

No one on the entire planet is defending either of them.

It almost defeats itself as an argument, like, you say Gortash is horrible, and I say yeah, man. You say, the Dark Urge is evil, and I say absolutely.

But that's kind of why...a relationship between the two of them IS so good, though.

Sure, there have always been villainous ships, but...something about these jagged creatures having a soft spot for one another...

It just works.

It's...it's taking two wretched beasts, and giving them something human to hold between their claws.

How can you support them being together, but how could you deny them this?

They're so horrible, they don't deserve love, but at the same time, seeing profoundly evil people are still capable of love, and humanity is inescapable, no matter how inhuman you are...

Hmmmm.

Yes.

The worse Dark Urge and Enver are, the better Durgetash comes.

That's the wonderful conundrum.

It's honestly such a SHIP, anon.

THE Ship.

[sister-2-sleep]

Rating all the artists I’ve seen in concert

(It's long srry)

Innings festival 2023

The offspring : 8/10 First concert and also my first festival. I didn't really know many songs at the time but they put on a good show.

Weezer: 9/10 2nd artist at the same festival as offspring. Great show. Got weezered live. I wanna see them again someday

Green Day: 9/10 the main reason we went to the festival. They were amazing but Billie was sick so he didn't really sound as good as he could've. So happy that i got see them tho

This is why tour (7/20, 2023)

The Linda Lindas: 9/10 really good & high energy. I don't really remember anymore than that tbh

Paramore: 100/10 literally so perfect. Cried multiple times. The reason I even got to see them was because the concert we were going to got canceled and the nosebleed seats weren't super expensive

Jaws of life tour (11/7, 2023)

Destroy boys: 10/10 opened for ptv. Great energy. But it seemed like no one else in the crowd liked them

L.S. Dunes: 8/10 I love dunes <3 I wasn't super into them at the time but I got to see frank iero in person for it was amazing

Pierce the Veil: (the first time) 1000000/10 actually so amazing omfg. I was literally sobbing durring hold on till may and emergency contact

Saviors tour (9/14, 2024)

The Linda Lindas: 9/10 still really good. So glad I got to see them again (and across the street from where I saw them the first time lol)

Rancid: 9/10 really good but I don't really listen to them

The smashing pumpkins: 10/10 they were amazing & I learned I knew a lot more songs by them than I thought lol

Green day: 80/10 so glad I got to see one of the first bands I ever fell in love with. & having them play my 2 favorite albums by them was magical

WWWY 2024

Ls dunes : 10/10 only saw like half if their set but they were just as good at the first time I saw them

Mayday Parade : 10/10 I didn't really listen to them besides Jaimie all over before but they're one of my favorite bands now

Cobra starship : 10000/10 ahhhh so happy I got to see them. So much energy and sounded great

Simple plan : 8/10 I dont really listen to them but hearing the Scooby Doo theme was fun

Taking back Sunday : -80000/10 they fucking sucked. I'm lowkey worried for the singers health because I'm like 99% sure he was either super drunk or high. Was super disappointing cuz I was exited to see them

The used : 7/10 Bert sounded like shit but I expected it cuz I watched a few videos before. They were still pretty good

Pierce the veil: ajhhhhhhhhhh/10 omg I'm so happy I got to see them a second time. I'm so happy I got to hear 100 sleepless nights live

Jimmy eat world : 9/10 again dont really listen to may of their songs but they sounded pretty close to the recorded version imo

A day to remember : 9/10 soooo good. Only knew a few songs but they were so good & I need to listen to more of them

Fall out boy : 1000000/10 ahhhhhh the the second main reason I wanted to go. I'm so glad I finally got to heal my inner elementary school (and now) self by seeing them. Also them bringing out travie & doing cupids chokehold killed me

MCR: ∞/10 I think seeing them actually fixed everything wrong ever. I'm so greatfull that I got to see my favorite band of 3 years. I was actually sobbing by the end of the show & didn't stop until we pretty much had left the venue. It was such a magical experience and I don't think anything will ever compare to it

[anatrik]

First thoughts TTPD:

What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!

1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10

2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?

3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10

4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺

5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂

6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.

7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.

8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever

9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.

12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.

13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.

14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?

15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10

16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.

17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10

18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10

19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10

20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10

21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10

22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10

23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10

24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10

25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.

26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷‍♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10

27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10

28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss

29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.

30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10

31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Cheering You Up Headcanons

Hey all! I decided to write some soft headcanons this time around! Plus, I added a new boy, Travis Hackett from The Quarry! I know hes not exactly the same as my usual roster of horror slashers and villains, but I love him and this is my blog soooooooo I don’t care lol Also thank you to the people who voted for the 3rd character, Otis! I really like using the poll option to see what people are interested in seeing, I might have to use it some more when I’m stuck between choices :)

Freddy Krueger:

As much of an asshole Freddy can be, he’s fully capable of toning himself down if you’re looking upset. But if he’s in a particularly antagonistic mood, the signs you’re upset will fly past him entirely until you go off on him, whether it’s crying or yelling at him for being such a dick. 

Freddy isn’t the kind to comfort you with his words, his love language tends to trend towards acts of service rather than sappy throw-away lines. He’ll never admit it, but ultimately he feels a smidge guilty for causing you more upset. So he’ll begin his scheming on a way to make it up to you.

Luckily for you, Freddy has his dream world, and he can make anything possible in your dreams. Freddy will hit you with just about everything he’s learned about you since knowing you. Do you like fancy romantic dinners? You’ve got the best seat in the house. Want to travel to places you wish you could afford? He’s got a first-class ticket to get you there. Just want a simple night in? He’s got you covered.

In all honesty, it would be a shock to see him put this much work in. Especially when half of the time you weren’t even sure he listened to what you were saying. Freddy not only listens to you, but he remembers everything. He just doesn’t like you knowing how much he truly cares. He thinks it makes him look too soft.

He’d get truly cocky as he soaks up the praise and affection you give him for such a sweet surprise. Freddy acts like it’s not a huge deal at all, and it wasn’t like he had to put much thought into it. You’re just so easy to please, he insists. But deep down even his cold black heart can feel a little something just from seeing your smile. As he lets you have your fun, he can’t help but smile to himself while watching you.

Travis Hackett:

While Travis might be awkward about expressing his emotions too freely, he’s more observant than he lets on. He’ll listen to everything you have to say, and figure out what you need based on that. He’ll let you rant and rave if you're venting until you finally let it out of your system, or he’ll hold you tightly if you’re an emotional wreck in need of comfort. And if it’s something he can take care of, well, he’s not above solving the issue himself.

Above all else, Travis makes sure you’re safe and comfortable. You mean more to him than he could ever put into words, and he’d do anything to see your smile. Even if he has a hard time expressing it, you can tell just how much he cares by the way he looks at you with adoration and softness you rarely see from him. He’s a brick wall to damn near everyone, but once you crack inside you’ll find he’s a bit of a sap. 

The next day, he’d tell you to cancel any plans you have for that night. If you ask, he’ll simply grunt and ask you if you trust him. Obviously, you do, so you let him continue his planning.

That evening, he’ll drive you to a secluded area of the Hackett property where no one will bother the two of you. When you get there, you’ll find he’s already set up camp, and you can’t help but feel a smile pull on your face. Don’t make too big a production out of it, or Travis might get too flustered. As it is he’ll keep fidgeting and rubbing the back of his neck as he insists it’s no big deal, that he uses this campsite so often that he just keeps these things here. Suuuuuure. 

He finds the outdoors peaceful and relaxing, much of his best memories took place in the vast expanse of wilderness that fell in the Hackett property, and he hopes that perhaps you’ll feel just as calm surrounded by nature. Maybe create some new memories too.

You’ll have a front-row seat to the sunset falling below the trees, reflecting over everything in sight and giving the forest a soft orange hue. And as night begins to fall, you sit by the campfire that Travis had kept up past dinner time, looking up at the stars as they shone more brightly here than anywhere else you had seen before. 

When the fire finally dies down, Travis will have you pulled to him on a blanket as you look up at the stars together and speak softly to each other as you begin to feel sleep pulling at you. Before you both fall asleep and get bit by all the mosquitos, Travis will make sure he carries you to the tent before finally settling down for the night, his arms wrapped protectively around you.

Otis Driftwood:

Otis isn't exactly the best choice if you're wanting a traditional cheering-up session. In fact, he might even complain if you pester him too much. "Can'tcha go bitch to Baby or something, I'm doing some important fucking shit here!" He'd probably shoo you along without so much as another glance your way.

After a while though, Otis will come around to the fact you need him. It's way easier for him to provide sexual affection, but genuine kindness is a bit out of his repertoire. But, after mulling it over for a while (as well as getting ripped a new one from Baby), Otis will try his best to be whatever you need.

He likes it best when all you need is for him to just exist in the same space, not needing him to provide a solution or answers. It's easy for him to just be a shoulder to cry on, that way he can't say all the wrong things like he tends to do. 

Otis also loves it when you need to have a good vent session. He'll hype you up, telling you that yeah, that guy was a motherfucker and maybe someone should do something about it. Maybe it's good if you don't let that get too far because Otis gets an itching for revenge at the drop of a hat just to make you happy. 

He also likes taking you on drives to calm you down. While he doesn't like to drive if he's too worked up because he's prone to road rage, he finds drives to be something that eases his mind when his thoughts are too scattered. And he's happy to share them with you, just so long as you don't become a backseat driver. Hell, if you ask nicely, he'll stop at whatever roadside spots you see. He’d even stop for ice cream if you’re being good.

[itsclydebitches]

I’m screaming Clyde, what WAS that epilogue?! Also since semblances were just a discussion did you notice the moment when the guy tripped and Qrow caught him THEN we see the pin? Which is probably calling back to the mine incident where he tripped and Clover caught him? But now he’s kinda in the unique position of causing both. Looks like Qrow did indeed get a semblance upgrade without explanation. Maybe that’s why he’s so dang happy lol

Oh man you're right! That callback didn't occur to me, but it seems too big a coincidence to not be a callback. Yeah, I'm wondering now if we're meant to take this as further evidence that Qrow's semblance has evolved into a kind of...equalizer? The man near him still trips (bad luck) but now Qrow, in a mirror of Clover and his own good luck semblance, is able to catch him with a smile. I mean yeah, we could simply chalk that up to Huntsmen reflexes, but it seems a little too on-the-nose to not be meaningful, particularly after the miraculous save on the airship. That begs the question though of what this actually means for Qrow moving forward. I mean, if he has good luck and bad luck now, don't they just cancel each other out? That's just normal luck. Congrats, your semblance makes you like everyone else where some good things and some bad things happen in your vicinity.

Ngl, after RWBY semi-canonically introduced the concept of some semblances severely impacting mental heath via Ironwood, my mind immediately jumped to the possibility of Qrow's upgrade coloring his reaction to everything. Not that I think this is actually happening in the story (and not that I'd want RT to attempt such a story-line), but from a fun AU possibility my brain went, "Qrow is acting all content and optimistic after everything in his life has gone to shit. Salem won back in Atlas, she's two steps closer to destroying the world, a whole Kingdom is dead/displaced, his nieces are presumably dead and at some point he's going to have to tell Tai that... and yet he's smiling. Not even in a 'I'm holding it together through extreme denial' way, but acknowledging that yes, he's actually, surprisingly happy. That doesn't make sense! I wonder if this spontaneous upgrade that presumably revolves around generically Good Things is fucking with his head somehow." In more nuanced and respectful hands, it might be interesting to explore what it means for a magic-based power to influence someone's mood. Can it be equated to medication? Is it seen as an "unnatural" version of who they are (something that, again like meds, could be a bias the show works to unpack)? As events unfold, is it revealed that his semblance simply gives him a stronger, more optimistic will for shouldering such tragedy, or does it become clear that he's not reacting appropriately to what everyone recognizes as—formerly for him—crippling emotional blows? There's a difference between, "My semblance keeps me from sinking back into my self-destructive depression. No, I'm not like who I was before and that's a good thing" vs. "Ruby? Yang? Uh... sure. I guess I miss them? I recognize that I'm supposed to miss them... but I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be? They did a good thing, those girls, trying to save the world and all, but now it's time to move on. Chins up, everyone! :)"

In my attempts to work through Qrow's everything from the epilogue, I'm also dying to know how long has passed. This is one of those times when a firmer timeline makes a huge difference because it can make or break our acceptance of these characterizations. How long did it take for them to accept that Team RWBY aren't coming back? How long passed after that when Qrow goes to wipe dust off the grave? If it's, say, a few days or weeks then I'm like hey wtf they should still be DEVASTATED. If, however, we've jumped forward six months, a year... that at least makes a little more sense. I don't like that we've skipped over all the cliffhanger conflicts of Volume 8 as well as a long-term grieving arc for every character that would fundamentally change who they are and their approach to this war... but I find that slightly easier to swallow then Qrow strutting around the new slums with a smile on his face, happily telling the ghosts of his dead family that he's doing surprisingly good during the end of the world.

Also, in the realm of skipped-over character growth, I saw someone point out that Oscar's tiny smile at the group's arrival... might not be Oscar's. Or might not be Ozpin's. God knows the writers have proven that they don't know how to write the merge on screen—they just keep insisting it's happening without either of them changing in any meaningful way—so this would be the perfect opportunity for them to just skip over all the important bits and land on the final product, a la Oscar getting over his crisis in Volume 6. If we hypothesize based on what RWBY has shown us before (ha) we should expect for Ozpin to be gone for good and Oscar is now in control, but with mannerisms and knowledge that he's never displayed before; a fundamental shift in his personality. After all, we never got to hear Ozpin the host. The show acts like Ozma existed on his own after a certain point, a body without a voice in his head anymore, but living as a, you know, merged version of himself and whoever was last with him. Which I hate! And Oscar hated it too, as evidence by him understandably freaking out about it, but the story never bothered to let him work through that. (Or just solve it with the magical aura machine + android bodies that have already been introduced.) As a favorite of mine, I'm not looking forward to being told that they've merged now. It's not Oscar. It's not Ozpin. It's someone who sounds like both at times, but really the characters you enjoyed are gone... without fully being gone. Combined with worry that Ironwood might come back—someone commented that the "Don't come back" was directed at Weiss, though that doesn't make any sense to me?—if we do get Volume 10 I can't help but think that, like Penny, the writers aren't going to leave these characters alone, despite them supposedly having left the story.

[bemycoffeepot]

You don't have anything written for Veridis Quo, but could you tell me more about it? 👀

AHHH LOVE THIS YEEEES 💕💕💕💕

For context, when I first heard that song by Daft Punk, I just knew that this was gonna be the song that'd be played on my wedding day (only need the proposal now). So I played it for my boyfriendo and told him so and he was like hell yeah, let's do this (been a year? two? since then, yet, still waiting tho 😒)

whatever.

So, as I'm not getting my own wedding anytime soon, I'm generous enough to allow Hinata to use that song for her's.

BUT the guy in her dream wedding is some rich tycoon her father wants to marry her off to (spoiler, it's Naruto lol) and initially she's freaking scared and doesn't want anything to do with the terrifying big guy who stands at the altar.

Yet Naruto has been secretly keeping an eye on her and he's got no plans whatsoever of cancelling his big day. You only getting married once in a lifetime (for him at least)

He tells himself that she's gonna adapt soon enough 😒🤭

Anyway, the wedding takes place and, as expected, she falls in love. Fast and hard and uncontrollably (all he has to do is smile lol).

He's older and sweet and HAWT, introducing her to the world of sensuality and love. He's protective with his princess, gives her awesome orgasms, bestows her with the most beautiful of gifts and brings her to places all over the world so that she can live the life of the pampered bride he wants her to be.

He literally gives her the world. Would make the whole planet burn for her and all she has to do is ask.

Hinata is like: he's God to me and I love him for everything he is and nothing could ever change the way I see him (cause he's her lovely and sweet hubby)

Problem though because Naruto only reserves his soft side for his bride and for no else. He's ruthless and got no pity for anyone. He's a killer and does shady things to maintain power. Really shady things.

Everyone knows what monster he is but Hinata doesn't care, even though she hears the rumors. She's naive and doesn't believe them or doesn't want to. She loves him with everything she has and truly believes that deep down, he's a good person who just needs a bit of refining.

Naruto listening to his angel protecting his reputation (she's feral when it's about him):

AND NOW I'VE GOT TO BUILD A STORY AROUND THEIR LOVE OR JUST DO A ONE-SHOT BUT I JUST KNOW I AM NOT CAPABLE OF THAT

Thank you for asking Bunny because that finally materialized this story 💕💕💕

but before I can start a new story I need to finish 'again'.... I already started a new one recently and got 'soaked' still on hold.

me, right now:

[spidereggs888]

Miguel bangs Dr Doom and the poor bastard asks for seconds

/j

Miguel & You

ACT 3 | INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

Miguel O’Hara & y/n, any gender or non gender. Very casual writing style. TW Dark humor, dangerous situations, 18+ language. Y/n are sorta attracted to Miguel (why else would you be here?) but he doesn’t know you lol

(Seriously, if you haven't read ACT 1 or ACT 2, NONE of this will make sense)

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

“Okay? I mean you still got your job, yeah?” your friend says.

“It’s different now! I can’t- my job’s not enough- all my savings are GONE! All those data sticks were full of nontaxable credit and now it’s probably being hocked off for rapture! What the shock am I gonna do?!”

“Wait, wait! Hang on, lemme text Bryce! He gonna know something!”

“I REALLY can’t believe that O’Hara! We talked about this! I made my case pretty simple and he agreed to a follow up meeting- and now he’s just gonna CANCEL on me?!”

“Hey it’s not his fault! He doesn’t know what you’re going through.”

You are so mad you almost tell her the truth. But his secret identity could be a bargaining chip! Yeah sure that will be stooping low but he KNOWS you are one lost payment away from house hunting, which is a horrible experience in Nueva York, especially if you’re broke.

After some sounds of computer work on her end, Speshall re-emerges.

“Hold on… okay. Bryce says Mister O’Hara is back in the Alchemax Business Bureau building.”

“Good God, tell Bryce I said thanks!”

“You better hurry, cuz people who lost their shot yesterday are trying to catch him today. I don’t know how word got out that he didn’t choose anyone as a secretary, but yeah, they are scrambling to get a hold of him. You better hurry!”

You pull out your only spare jacket (the clear plastic one that only keeps off the rain), and throw on a new scarf. You are back at square one, where you gotta compete with all the other interviewees, including Suck-up Syd who’s gonna be even more desperate this time, and Beta-Brody, who just might actually appeal to O’Hara now that he’s about to have an uninterrupted audience with the guy!

Your chances are slim, but if you stand to lose everything, why the hell dwell here?!

░▒▓スパイダーマン▓▒░

When you exit the apartment complex, you run through all of the holograms offering a better life, past all the salesmen trying to convert you to the great house of Thor, and slam your palm down on the terminal button to call the apartment valet.

"Welcome back, tenant 27," the AI apartment valet greets, “Do you want-”

“YES! Give it to me!”

Your car roars out of its hiding place as if it knows today isn’t the day to worry you with her many problems. She is bright red with flaking paint, but she is here in your time of need.

“We refueled your vehicle. Do you accept the charges-”

“BILL ME TOMORROW!”

You rush and slide across the hood, executing the perfect slide and land on your feet on the other side. The door unlatches automatically and you climb in (that almost never happens), and you slam your foot down on the gas pedal.

“I’m comin’ for you, O’Hara!”

░▒▓человек-паук▓▒░

After dodging and slipping through traffic, you arrive at the Alchemax Business Bureau parking lot. The automated parking center kiosk accepts your money this time since your mom knows how to clean her gambling money (you have yet to learn this difficult process), and you get to enter the building in a more conventional way. 

The lobby is already in chaos. People are fighting over the coffee machine for some reason, slapping and hitting each other. You turn your back on it and face the old man behind the receptionist desk. He grimaces at you.

“You don’t have anything to do with the crazy shit happening over there, right?” He asks. This was the first time he’s spoken to you in a while.

“Don’t think so. Uh, has O’Hara come through?”

“Heh. What do you think?”

You cringe at the sound of a coffee pot crashing to the floor. The receptionist opens a holoscreen and looks at you through it.

“He’s up in the temp office again.”

He discreetly brings a cup of black coffee up from behind the desk and sets it near you.

“Just pushing forward a favor.”

His eyes focus on the video call that pops up between you, and he continues, “We need custodial support in the lobby. We got some broken glass and hot coffee all over the damn place.”

≋≋≋（スパイダーマン）≋≋≋

You are on the elevator, coffee in hand with a pocket full of sugars. You decide not to drink it, you plan to give it to O’Hara (everyone else must have had this same plan, hence fighting over the pitcher of coffee.) The elevator lets someone else on. The doors open and you see the smoky eyes of Suck-Up Syd.

“Ah, you got past everyone else, I see.”

You reluctantly move over as she strides in. You notice she’s wearing a backless dress before she pulls her faux fur jacket back over her shoulders. She knows you saw, she chuckles and sighs.

“Don’t ya love this day and age?” she asks innocently.

“It could be better,” you say pleasantly.

“I just love how a woman can be herself and flaunt what she’s got…” 

She waits for a word of validation but you say nothing to her. She continues.

“I got this dress from Michael, our last boss. Remember him?”

“Ah, yeah. The guy who gave me a second chance…”

“Yeah after the whole embezzling thing! Tsk, I’m so glad you didn’t get fired, you know that? Like really, you are the nicest person in this whole wide place! It would have been so unfair of him to let you go. But he’s very generous.”

You wanna say something mean to her but you are at a crucial point in your life to have stupid Suck-Up Syd karma in the mix.

The elevator door opens and you see a guy laying face down on the floor. He’s groaning in pain. It’s the nice Indian man from yesterday.

“Oh my, what happened here?” Syd asks.

“Ah just some stuff that needed settling,” says the familiar douchey voice of Brody, who walks up from the corner while rubbing his knuckles.

“Did you beat up that guy?!” You scold.

“Well, he got in my face,” he says with a matter-of-fact tone.

“I somehow doubt that!” You scoff.

 Brody smirks and takes your coffee.

“Dude, that’s mine!” you complain.

He sips it while keeping eye-contact with you. He then immediately scrunches his face.

“Ew, you don’t add anything to your coffee?!”

“That’s very rude and gross, Broly,” Syd says with sarcasm, walking away towards the glass elevator. He hands the coffee back to you and swiftly follows her, and you reluctantly follow.

“I was just playing, Sydney, lighten up! Nice dress, by the way!”

“Thank you.”

“I mean... you flaunted it for Micheal, I bet you could do the same exact routine for O’Hara and get the job instantly! That's your in-an-out plan, right?”

“Hey, if he thinks hiring me will get him there then that’s on him, not me.”

“What are you pushing 38, going on 39 any time now? You can’t use your looks forever, tick-tock tick-tock.”

“Oh wow, says the guy who believes in that Alpha Male BS. You are aware that the same guy who coined that whole thing turned around and disproved it years later, you know that, right?”

“So it’s not true for wolves, but it’s definitely true for Man.”

“You are not even close to being a Beta…” you grumble. 

He looks back at you with a fake smile. Syd laughs.

“Oh well check this out-”

He slaps the coffee down out of your hands and it gushes all over your pants and shoes. You jump back and kick your legs.

“Dude! That BURNS! What the FUCK?!”

“You got it on my dress, you fucking animal!” Syd complains, stepping back away from the dark puddle.

“Oh you were gonna take it off to show what’s left of your body anyway! Get with the now and lighten up!”

“You are SUCH an asshole!” You yell. You start kicking him in the legs. Syd joins in, thrashing him with her stiletto. The both of you back him into the corner as he tries to guard his face. The glass doors open and the three of you stop your squabbling as y’all realize there has been an audience for the last few seconds.  

The pair of security guards from yesterday are standing near the elevator, both looking somewhat amused about the elevator fight, and two men are sitting on either side of the tiny desk, one of them being O’Hara and the other is your ex boss.

“Oh… uh, hi!” Syd stammers, taken aback by the present company. Brody pushes her aside and strides across the room with his hand extended.

“Hey, Mister O’Hara! The name’s Brody Tice! Nice to meet-”

“The hell are you guys doing here?” O’Hara asks.

“Hey, yeah, I didn’t get to meet you yesterday-  had some stuff come up, but I heard you were here today, so I thought-”

“Then SIT,” O’Hara demanded.

“Actually, I do better standing!” 

“Sit the hell down, Brody,” Micheal snaps, “Now’s not the time!”

[Brody mumbles something about being fine where he is.]

“Is everything okay, Micheal?” Syd asks, defaulting to an innocent tone.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Micheal says with glossed, lazy eyes. He always had this look whenever he was forced to care, “Someone formerly in our department just complained about some old history and we are trying to smooth it out.”

"Oh, this is beyond smoothing out," O'Hara said with an unsafe tone while smiling, "Yeah, this little game you have going on comes to an end today."

"What game?!" Micheal scoffs, leaning back in his chair.

“I’ve had my AI assistant cross-reference your employment history and your payment history and I did not like what she told me," O'Hara says, putting his giant paws together, "You’ve been withholding payment from your employees by not immediately updating their salary in the system after they were given a raise. And you’d neglect doing anything until they actually confront you about it, and even then, you never paid them the missing difference. And you did this, let's say, roughly eighty times in the past four years?”

Your blood boils. This man has been a parasite this whole time while you scraped by. Micheal looks back and forth at Syd and Brody, unable to keep eye contact with O'Hara.

"Wha- WHICH of you- Syd! I thought I could TRUST you!" Micheal stammers.

"What? Micheal! No! I didn't say anything about you!"

Micheal's gaze darts to Brody, but then he swivels his head to you instead.

"Was it you?!"

"Wow, you're really just gonna look for someone to blame, huh?" Brody scoffs.

"Whoever did this doesn't know who they're messing with!" Micheal says, his face red as he shakes, "I have too much as stake to be taken down by some rat!"

“It was ME!” you yell, not willing to take anything else laying down anymore, “I confirmed what happened!”

Micheal looks genuinely surprised at you yelling. Syd just blinks awkwardly and Brody grins. O’Hara is still sitting with his elbows resting on his desk, watching from behind clasped fingers.

“What on earth did you-”

“The ultimatum you gave me! You pulled me aside into the maintenance closet and made me choose between getting fired or demoted, REMEMBER?!”

“We took you into the maintenance closet because the situation was private-”

“You just didn’t want anyone with a brain noticing you were doing something illegal!”

“He was on vacation!” Syd said defensively, “You should have just waited-”

“Oh that’s SUCH bullshit! He wanted to see how long he could go without actually paying me what I was owed!” 

“It was just a fluke in the system-”

“It was no fluke, it was CALCULATED!” You snap, stepping towards her with your finger in her face, “And you should know, Syd! You fucking stood there watching like the stupid little henchman you are! You KNEW Micheal was doing something illegal and you did NOTHING to report it! And we know why! Because you KNEW if I went down, you would instantly get my position as vice head PR accountant! You were a snake from the start and always HAVE been!”

“Oh shush! You were sniveling and crying like a BABY, begging to keep the job! I may be what I am but at least I have some dignity-”

“Sydney! Let’s not push it!” Micheal warned.

“That’s fucking laughable coming from you, y’know that?” Brody says to Syd, “You are the LAST person with any dignity around here! You dropped your panties for Ashton when I told you he was head of our department! You didn’t even try to research him or anything! You just did it because you’re a whore.”

“And you!” you yell, pointing at Brody.

“Ah, let’s hear it!” He retorts.

“You are the biggest lying asshole in this whole fucking industry! How the fuck has no one laid you out yet?! All that alpha dog bullshit has gone so far up your ass, I don’t know where your sexist bullshit ends and where your goddamn shit-eating grin begins! You gotta tear people down because you aren’t strong enough to hack it with the big dogs, are ya?! ARE YA, BRODY?! Oh, look at me! I’m Brody Tice! I’m too mean and stupid to make meaningful relationships work, so I bully others to assert a false sense of dominance! And if that don’t work, I resort to telling people I was diddled in the doo doo hole by my best friend Ashton because that’s the kind of LOSER I am!”

Brody’s pride is on the line, and he was not taking too kindly to you airing out his dirty laundry in front of O’Hara. He steps up to you, his fake smile now grinding into a dangerous sneer.

“Oh, NOBODY has laid me out yet because they CAN’T!”

“You are so full of shit!”

“Go ahead and make your move, then!”

“Everyone just stop!” Syd pleads anxiously.

“You can't always get away with everything you’ve DONE!” You say coldly. Blood is rushing in your ears and you can feel your neck getting hot. Brody jabs you in the shoulder with his knuckles.

“Make your move, bitch-” 

Having seen enough, O’Hara stands up and swiftly grabs Brody by the front of his shirt. He leads the smaller man around on his toes as they come face to face. Brody’s eyes bulge.

“Wow, man! Your hands are massive-”

 O’Hara picks the whole man up and one-arm slams Brody through the tiny desk. Just *bam* throws him down TLC style. Travel-sized bottles fly everywhere.

Brody stares up at the ceiling, making a long minuscule whining sound. The desk is finished and everyone is frozen in place. 

“Quitar este loser,” he commanded, pointing down at Brody and flicking his finger at the door. The two guards grabbed Brody and lifted him out of the rubble. 

“As for you two,” he said, turning to Syd and Michael, “clean out your desks!”

“W-why?!” Syd whined

“You can't do this!” Michael begged, his grey eyes bulging, "I have been with this department for thirty years! I was here when your father ran this place!"

O'Hara clenches his jaw and fists. His eyes flash dangerously.

"--Though you do a spectacular job as CEO, WAY better than... It-It really was an honest fluke, I get very overwhelmed with all my responsibilities- please! You can’t fire me!”

He stares down Micheal, considering him a little longer. He drops his scowl and lets his hands free.

“Relax, I’m not firing you or Miss Sarcoth here,” O’Hara says with a falsely kind tone, “I mean, you really should be fired, but a guy your age doesn’t stand a chance in the private sector, so I’m moving you both to the custodial department! They’ll love you there!”

“Oh... well alright,“ Michael mutters, eyes bugged out at the giant financial nuke that missed him by inches.

“Wait, why am I being dragged down too?!” Syd whined, “there’s no proof I was even THERE!”

“There's lots of surveillance of your complacency and possible cooperation, Miss Sarcoth. Don’t even bother trying to argue your way out of this one. Now both of you, off to your new jobs! C’mon! You only get one chance!”

O'Hara gives them both a clenched smile. Syd and Micheal exchange confused stares.

“Go on before I get pissed off,” he said in a colder tone.

They scramble to gather their coats and rush out of the room. Those two jackasses who screwed with your livelihood just to make themselves laugh are now fucking off to whatever hell hole O’Hara has decided to stuff them into.

O’Hara sighs and paces away. He grumbles about idiots fucking around with their goddamn money. You clear your throat. He straightens his anti glare lenses then looks at you.

“Have a seat, since you’re here.”

You sit down where Michael was seated before. You stare this guy down because this is it! You are ready for hellfire. You are ready for searing words and possible loss of a limb or head in the conversation to come. You squint at those red eyes behind the comically large lenses. How has nobody accused him of being a vampire? Either way, you are ready to gamble it all, to hell with being cautious!

You are gonna take this vampire down.

“You are wondering why I canceled our meeting, yeah?” He asks with raised brows.

You are relieved he brought it up first.

“Yeah. Why?”

“I decided I don’t need a secretary,” he said, “turns out it’s too damn stressful and stupid. I’ve been doing just fine with my AI assistant.”

“What about all the people who wanted to work for you?”

“They have their own jobs already, it’s not like they have nothing to go back to.”

“Well I don’t,” you say, gripping the edge of your chair. He makes a curious face.

“You have a job, what do you mean-“

“I’ve been cheated, blackmailed, rejected, declined, and robbed, all because of idiots like Michael and Syd… and that idiot Brody! I’m not about to let a dismissive playboy who fires people left and right, AND moonlights as Spider-Man kick me down without a fight-“

O’Hara comes back over and sits down in his chair quickly, making you flinch, but he’s smiling.

“So you WERE awake when I saved you!”

“Yeah,” you say quietly. You are now shaking but not breaking your stare from his amused expression.

“Now you know who I am and what I do… at least only the tip of that gargantuan iceberg… so what do you want? Money? You gonna blackmail me?”

“What fucking choice do I have?” You say heatedly, “I lost everything down there in that hell hole! My data sticks, my phone, all of that was my LIFE in order, and now I either go further into debt or I get a better job that will take care of me for the rest of my life!”

O’Hara leans back into his chair, his brow furrowed as he rubs his chin.

“Don’t think for a second I’m not grateful for you saving my life! I don’t know how you knew I needed saving but you did!”

“My AI assistant Lyla informed me your location was moving down to a notorious criminal breeding ground. I thought you were one of those Black Market Demons trying to infiltrate Alchemax for drugs.”

“What?”

“I mean the descriptors fit. I guessed you were financially unstable and turning to gambling because you had a Rapture habit. But… you didn’t seem physically unwell like a Rapture user. The only other possibility was that you were being kidnapped. Since I already met you and saw it about to happen, I just couldn’t ignore it.”

You look to the floor, feeling bad about readying yourself to fight this guy.

“I knew you needed help. I'm sorry about your data sticks and all your money. I didn’t know- you do have a bank account, right? I mean, you have a job-”

“My job salary goes there, yeah, but that goes straight into automated payments since I’m on the Alchemax home-employment plan… I have the data sticks because my bank won’t accept anything considered gambling money. And I don’t have enough earnings for an offshore account… so I kept it all on the data sticks…”

He is hanging on every word now. You look up at those sad bespectacled eyes.

“Also… I just wanted some personal spending money for myself. I just wanna wear nice stuff and eat something else besides mineral bars…”

He politely watches you try not to feel sorry for yourself. You are both quiet for a little spell. You can hear the wind outside, and an automated cleaning system starts spraying the shit out of the glass elevator. It sounds like a car wash.  All that coffee on the floor is being washed away.

He sighs and looks out the windows.

“Well, I can’t say I wasn’t impressed at the decade and a half you put into PR work for Alchemax,” he finally says. You wipe away a single tear and look up at him as he pulls up your files on his neat watch. He picks out your best work with his calloused but beautiful hands, “You started running hot meals for the Alchemax elderly program at fifteen years old… went into mail room tech for a while there, occasionally doing lobby work and handling public events… not bad at all.”

"Thanks," you say modestly.

“Most of all, I really admire that you came here. I don’t know how you knew I’d be here, but you must have some great resources to pull that off. I'm impressed.” 

You smile at him weakly. He smiles back.

“What do you think about taking Micheal's old job?” 

“Wha- REALLY?!”

“Ah I’m sure you’ll do fine! Besides, I didn’t know who I was gonna pick as head of PR account and finances, anyway! So, what do you say?”

You stand up and so does he. You extend your hand and he takes it.

“Thank you for this opportunity, sir! I won’t let you down!”

“You actually don’t have a choice.”

You smile but then feel yesterday’s emotions catch up with you. The darkness with the dead bodies and freaky black market demons. Running until your legs were on fire and your lungs hurt. Being surrounded by those demons in the darkness. You dive in for a hug.

“Thank you for saving my life…” you murmur into his shirt.

“C’mon, I’m Spider-Man, it’s what I do.”

You hold your head against those mighty pecs of his. His dress shirt is so silky and soft and smells like the kind of detergent that goes hard like crack. You go ahead and wrap the other arm around him as you behold the heartbeat of a hero, something so rare in any day and age. You will never forget this sensation as he carefully pats your back.

“Ah, okay, just take it all in… I’m only allowing this once… hey, also promise me you'll keep my secret, okay?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"I'm not kidding. If you go telling people I'm Spider-Man, I'll make you clean toilets. SPECIFICALLY toilets. And only toilets."

You start to giggle. He does too.

"Just toilets, all day and all night! I'm serious. I know we are laughing but I'm dead serious. No estoy bromeando! Comprendes?"

"Si comprendes," you manage to muffle out.

"Good, good... Okay get off me. Please.”

You smile and let him go. He gives you an awkward smile and rubs the side of his massive neck. 

"So... seeing as I'm removing Micheal and pretty much any and all staff members who conspired with him, you’ll need to hire your own assisting staff. You have anyone in mind?”

≋≋≋（蜘蛛侠）≋≋≋

“I’m going to lunch!” You call out as you leave your glass paneled office. 

“You want me to go ahead and send out this mass email, dear?” Your mother says from behind her grand desk.

“You let Speshall look at it, right?”

“It’s wordy but I’m sure it’s fine,” Speshall says from her office area. She returns to her phone, “Oh they eloped?! To where?!”

Your new staff has it's own habits but they are much better than the unjust monsters running things before. You walk onto the elevator (the only one since the other two are STILL broken), and the nice Indian man from weeks ago joins you.

"How's life, Arjuna?" You ask.

"Ah, in-laws are staying over for a month."

"Oh? Is that bad?"

"Not really. Let's say I just might jump out a window," he says, slyly.

"Well I know a few custodians perfect for the job!" you blurt out. The both of you crack up laughing. You fortunately don't have to ever see Micheal, Syd, and Brody on a daily basis since O'Hara sent them off to clean in the Alchemax Museum of Tech, but that hasn't stopped you or your friends from making them the butt of all your jokes.

You walk out into the lobby of the Alchemax Business Bureau, where you see your red Maglev Nova outside waiting in the rain. 

“All fueled up, boss!” Says the old receptionist behind the counter. He’s drinking his coffee in peace.

“Thanks, Stan!” You say.

You walk outside to your car. The paint job was redone and all her internal issues gone as she hums cleanly, awaiting your arrival. You open the door to get in.

"HEY!"

You look over the Nova. You see O'Hara across the street.

“Miguel! Hey!” 

“Hey! We doin’ this?”

“Yeah! I got some coupons for double thick enchiladas! Two for the price of one!”

“Ay, you and those coupons! I told you, I’m buying! Woah-“

He steps back as a truck flies past him. It drives right through a puddle, drenching the man. He stands there all stunned; his jacket was folded on his arm and his dress shirt soaked.

He gapes at you and you realize you are staring at the wet shirt clinging to his chiseled body. 

“We- we can stop by the dry cleaners on the way," you stammer as you politely look away.

๋࣭ ⭑🕸 fin ����๋࣭ ⭑

Thank you for reading.

[plumsaffron]

*sigh* It’s a good thing I totally lost interest in Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks and similar fictional media from the west. And that’s coming from a North American lol. I mean a lot of American media have just gotten so dull recently aside from certain major companies being notorious for canceling their quality shows…

I blame KFP for making me think that snow leopards and albino red eyed/leucistic characters were evil during my childhood through early teenhood. What were the creators thinking for making a portion of snow leopards antagonists??

In real life, snow leopards are actually wary of humans and would rather avoid them. They are genetically closer to tigers than actual leopards. The snow leopards are quite more chill than their big cat cousins in captivity.

*Starts remembering Ladies Of Shade in and

Junjie’s leopard minions in

KFP Legends of Awesomeness*

**and the cursed crap they did to Tai Lung’s newphew, Peng, when he discovered the truth in his search. Like yikes. Made Po hold his paw with the wuxi finger hold like when he intentionally sent Peng’s uncle to the spirit realm when Tai Lung was literally completely unable to beat him and people are trying to make excuses.

Just like when they try to make an excuse with what Oogway The Magnificent does with giving cruel and unusual punishment to Tai Lung and Shifu deciding to be an npc, when clearly Oogway can simply just knock him out easily each time. Bruh moment considering what he and General Kai used to be and do.**

***Oh there's darkness in his heart (...just like everyone else) that people absorb in their minds and spread around cause "oh wise turtle".

A test of humility he failed bs people theorize. Crap viewers say to try to justify his fate when canon and lack of evidence shows otherwise is wow.

Everything was seen an epic or heroic until Peng learned (but that was temporary too I guess. Things went well for Peng at least).***

Movies/shows do have a way of portraying things (effects, colors, music, and quotes at certain points (especially by what they refer to as so wise peoples) help too) in making one think something when it really wasn’t how it seemed. Sucks how powerful it can be to lots.

I remember thinking or maybe trying to believe someone in another series actually tried admitting failure, but really they were too far gone and were throwing unrealistic expectations and shifting burden on another to change a group that was never the problem to just submit and cope with nonsense.

Another instance in my past was thinking that the hero or protagonist actually was going to work with the antagonist and solve things and make a situation where neither of them or others are victims of an environment, but it didn’t happen. The protagonist actually failed and only wanted their antagonist on their side.

Anyways though.

That was an interesting thing to know of for

snow leopards irl though.

[mattsdae]

help wanted pt 3

read part 1 and part 2 and part 4

content warnings: joe young x masc reader , hurt/comfort , joe’s congregation finds out about his little side gig , lots of fluff , reader actually being nice to joe , but also gets called out , makeout session lol , cumming in pants , situational humiliation but /neg , joe has a weird surge of dominance

word count: ~4.1 k

synopsis: joe gets bad news and goes to reader for comfort

a/n: this is set some time in the late 90’s/early 00’s. once again, i never watched the movie so idk when it actually takes place but i get the vibe.

“joe said he can’t come in, so i guess the whole shoot is cancelled.” dave’s voice crackled over the phone line as you huffed. it was 8 am, only a couple of hours before you were supposed to head in to film. you thought for a moment, still trying to wake up. he was clearly upset, probably being told they wouldn’t be paid if nothing was released. it was a common threat, but it never got to that point before.

“do you know why he cancelled? that doesn’t seem like him.” everyone on the shoot knew how reliable he was. he’s never called out on a shoot before or showed up late. even though he was only a pornstar, he still had a solid work ethic. you and everyone else on the team trusted him more than any other pornstar in the past.

“he said there was some personal shit he had to deal with. he sounded real upset, so i just let him go handle it.” you nod.

“okay. i guess just let me know when our next shoot is. i’ll try to check up on him later, just to make sure he’s okay.” dave laughs.

“if y’all are queers, just say it.” you scoff.

“dude, chill. you know joe’s mormon, he’d probably have a heart attack if he knew what we were doing was gay.”

“he doesn’t know already? didn’t he cum on you?” you flushed.

“look, just let me handle it? okay? he’s really sensitive and i don’t need you running around talking about how much of a fag he is.” you rubbed your temple, frustration clear in your voice.

“i’m not calling him a fag, i’m calling him a queer. there’s a big difference.” you rolled your eyes and laid back down in your bed.

“i’m going back to sleep. call me if you need me,” you said and hung up. just as you were curling back up in your sheets, you phone rang again. without looking at the caller id, you answered with a groan. “what?”

you heard crying along with what you assumed were words. you looked at the number and recognized joe’s. he kept crying while trying to blubber out explainations.

“hold on, joe. calm down. take a deep breath,” you tried to comfort but he kept crying. he kept babbling, too upset to form proper words. you quietly hushed him, a small shh until he stopped talking. “take a deep breath. try to follow me.”

you took a breath, counting to four as you breathed in, held it and breathed out. even though he gasped and sobbed throughout, he was at least trying to listen. you repeated until his breaths were relatively even.

“are you okay? can you try to talk slow for me?” you asked but he almost instantly started sobbing again.

“they- they know! they saw my videos and, and they kicked me out!” he wailed.

“who? what did they kick you out of?”

“my church!” he let out a long cry, sniffling and gasping as he did so. you didn’t know how to respond. you weren’t exactly expecting a phone call from joe at 8 am about being ex-communicated from mormonism. you swallowed.

“shh, shh.. it’s okay. just breathe, that’s all you gotta do. just breathe..” he still cried, but was no longer wailing. “good, in and out. everything’s gonna be okay, joey. just breathe.”

“i’m sorry, i know you sleep in but- but i don’t have anyone else..” your heart ached as he said it.

“it’s okay, baby. where are you? you’re safe, right?” he sniffles.

“i’m in my car.. i had to pull over ‘cause i couldn’t see too well.” you cooed.

“i’m so sorry, sweetheart. is everything okay?” he hums.

“as good as i can be. i’m sorry, y/n. i shouldn’t have bothered you..”

“don’t apologize. what do you need?” he whimpered.

“can i come over? i-it’s fine if i can’t,” he started to ramble. he tried to cover up the fact that he needed you, making sure that you knew he didn’t need to come over, but the truth was obvious.

“yeah, you can come over.”

joe was knocking on your door within 15 minutes, which interrupted your frenzied cleaning as you picked up whatever trash you had laying around. it wasn’t perfect, but definitely presentable. you opened the door.

“hey-“ he cut you off, pulling you into a tight hug. he squeezed, arms wrapped around your waist and forcing your hands in the air as you avoided them getting pinned to your sides. it almost hurt how tight he held you, his strength hidden well by the costumes and the uniform he always wore.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbled. his face was buried in your chest, unable to bring himself to move away. slowly, your arms wrapped around him as well, a hand finding it’s way to the back of his neck, fingers becoming intertwined in his hair.

“you don’t need to apologize.” he nods. you toy with his hair, waiting for him to make the decision to pull away. after a while, it felt like he never would, too enamored by your embrace. “do you want to tell me what happened?”

“they.. they found out about my job.” he sniffled. you sighed. for some reason, you never really questioned how he did porn as a career. you knew he was religious and most likely used different stunt devices to avoid showing himself off, but you forgot to question how he went to church the next day, knowing he was going against one of the biggest laws of his religion.

“oh, baby..” you held him closer as you heard him sob, parts of your shirt starting to feel wet against your chest. his grip tightened. his hands gripped onto your shirt, forming fists as he cried. you looked up, blinking away tears of your own. you weren’t a cryer, but hearing him made it difficult not to. “let’s sit down, okay? i’ll put something on, how does that sound?”

he nods, slowly letting you go. you led him, hand on his back, towards the couch. he sat and looked up at you with big, teary eyes. you pouted, holding his cheek for a moment and wiping the excess off. he shut his eyes, leaning into the touch. he really is gorgeous, even with flushed cheeks and red eyes. you understood why he held you for so long, now wanting to stay in this position forever, just as he did.

“what do you want to watch?” you pulled your hand away, sitting next to him. he looked down.

“i never really watched tv before.” you looked at him, trying to read his face and see if he was joking.

“you’ve never watched tv?”

“i have! but not that often. i used to watch service on the tv when i was sick and i couldn’t go in. that counts, right?” your jaw dropped, a grin spreading as you quickly flipped through channels.

“dude, you really never watched cable? that’s fuckin’ crazy!” you laugh. he shrinked a little in his seat, taking your attention away from the tv guide. “it’s fine, man. i’m messing with you. i’m about to show you some of my favorite shows, if i can find them.”

you wrapped your arm around him, ruffling his hair with a smile until he returned it. you pulled away again. you glanced over at him, seeing how politely he sat. his back was straight and hands were placed directly over his legs.

“dude, relax. kick your feet up or something.” he watched as you rested your feet on the coffee table. he looked shocked.

“on the furniture?” you nod. he leans down, taking off his shoes and placing them underneath the table neatly before awkwardly kicking his feet up. you wiggled, digging yourself deeper into the couch.

“just lean back and relax. do you want something to eat?“ he shook his head, trying to copy your movement and get more comfortable. “i can’t find anything good. it’s too early for all the actually entertaining shit..”

“oh, what about tom and jerry! i’ve watched that before!” he pointed at the tv. you almost shot down the idea, before deciding against it. he was already upset enough, why not let him watch whatever he wanted?

“uhh, sure.” you clicked on it. he pulled his feet away from the table, instead pulling his knees to his chest and watching the screen with his head resting on top of them. he smiled as it instantly opened to tom chasing jerry down the hallway before getting hit by a frying pan. he giggled.

“why are you staring at me?” he looked over. you didn’t even realize you were staring until he said it. he was still smiling at you. your face reddened.

“oh, i was just making sure you’re.. okay.” you excused, leaning back and focusing on the tv. he nodded. you stretched your arms across the top of the couch, now feeling anxious about having him in your house. you almost felt paranoid about leaving something out. you didn’t clean out the fridge, so that probably looks bad. you also forgot to put your laundry in the hamper. actually, you forgot to do a lot of stuff. you should have cleaned the bathroom at least, maybe even mop-

“do you have any movie recommendations?” he pulled you out of your racing thoughts. his arms wrapped around his knees, bottom half of his face covered by his bicep. “i never watched any movies before. maybe i should start now since i’m not.. mormon anymore.”

“uhh, yeah, man. i have some tapes we can watch. or we can go by blockbuster and you can pick some stuff out. my treat,” you smiled. his eyes lit up.

“really?! i always wanted to go there!” within 10 minutes, you were driving him to the nearest blockbuster in the same attire you slept in, only with socks and slides added to your outfit. he was buzzing, a big smile on his face as you parked. “have you been here before?”

“yeah, dude. i used to work here, actually.” he smiled even harder.

“really? i used to always wonder what it was like to work outside of the church.” he mumbled as you both stepped out of the car. you stuck your hands in your hoodie pockets, glancing over at joe as he basically skipped to the door. you smiled.

he was cute, you admit. he was sweet and so innocent you could barely wrap your head around it. the idea of someone like that actually existing made you hurt, especially since he trusted you of all people. you sighed as you opened the door.

“aw shit, get out! get out!” the manager yelled. joe paused, staring in genuine fear as you laughed. you patted his back.

“he’s fucking with us, dude. that’s anthony.” you pointed towards him as he held out his hand to shake joe’s. he awkwardly held his out as well before anthony took the initiative to grab it and shake.

“anthony. what’s your name?” he asked before glancing down and noticing his name tag. elder young. “damn it, y/n. you dragged a mormon in here?”

joe quickly unclipped his nametag and stuffed it in his pocket.

“ex mormon. now that he’s ex-communicated, we thought to do some things he wasn’t allowed to do.”

“oh, i’m sorry about that, man.” joe nodded, still looking away. “we have most of the classics in stock, short of pulp fiction. some guy came in here with his girl talking about how it’s the greatest piece of fiction ever created.”

“what a douche,” you laughed. joe glanced at you and you tilted your head towards the shelves. “go look around. just grab whatever you think looks cool while i catch up.”

he nods, disappearing behind a random shelf that he clearly wouldn’t be interested in. you watched as his eyes darted around the store, trying to find a genre that caught his eye. he was clearly overwhelmed by the volume of movies.

“how’s that.. ‘filming gig’ going?” anthony spoke up, using air quotes as he scanned returns and put them in a box. you shrugged.

“it’s going pretty okay. that’s actually how i met him.” you nodded towards joe as he grabbed ring and jumped when he turned the boxset and saw the girl crawling out of the well. you chuckled. “i’m making good enough money to get by. i was supposed to be filming today but something came up.”

“oh yeah? so you decided to go out on a little date with an ex mormon.” he emphasized the ‘ex’ like you did before. you rolled your eyes.

“it’s not a date, dumbass. we’re just friends.” this time, he rolled his eyes.

“i’m the dumbass? you’re the one walking in here with heart eyes for the dude. plus, you met on a porn set.” he whispered the last part. he glanced at joe, who wondered his way to the 18+ section before quickly departing. “was he an actor or did he pull up on set trying to sell the whole jesus thing to you.”

“shut up. look, i just helped him out with figuring out what certain words mean.“

“did you demonstrate or-“

“fuck off.” you turned away as he laughed. he put the final tape down and leaned forward on the counter.

“he seems like a sweet kid. you aren’t.. taking advantage of him, are you?” you turned to him, shocked by his bluntness. “i just wanna make sure. i know you aren’t a bad guy, but i gotta look out for people. if i thought someone was taking advantage of you, i’d say something.”

“i’m not taking advantage of shit. he asked for help, he gave him help, end of story.” you sat by the counter for another couple of seconds, waiting for his comeback.

“i’m guessing he was ex-communicated because he’s gay?” you tensed up a bit, looking away.

“no. he doesn’t know that..” anthony furrowed his eyebrows, looking you up and down.

“you had sex, how doesn’t he-“ you shushed him.

“we didn’t have sex. i just.. told him i was just helping him out. i don’t want him to freak out about being gay. he already called me crying over being kicked out of his church, i don’t need to make him more upset.”

“so you’re lying to him?” you paused.

“what?”

“you’re lying to him so he doesn’t know that what your doing is gay.”

“i’m not.. i didn’t lie. i’m just protecting him.” anthony held up his hands, turning away.

“whatever you say, man. he’s gonna figure it out at some point, though.” you scoffed.

“whatever.” you went towards where he was, seeing he was stood in front of the kids movies. he already had a couple in his arms, including the lion king, a tom and jerry movie you didn’t know existed, and mighty joe young. “you picked that because it has your name, right?”

“what?” you pointed at the vhs and he blushed. “oh, um. y-yeah.”

“that’s cute.” you didn’t even realize you said it out loud until anthony laughed in the back. you poked your head from between the shelves and glared. he mouthed ‘just friends’ as you went back to joe.

an hour later, you were sat on your couch with joe watching titanic. turns out, he never heard of the titanic so after a brief history lesson, you started the movie. joe watched intently while you mostly spaced out. you’ve seen the movie a couple of times, but never found it super interesting. he liked the cover, though, so you rented it.

“we should do that.” he pointed at the screen, pulling you out of whatever thought you were having. you looked. jack and rose kissing at the front of the boat. you turned a little red, trying to figure out if he was joking. obviously, he wasn’t.

“what? they’re just kissing.” you shrugged off the comment as if you weren’t flushed. he pouted.

“i’ve never kissed anyone before. is it nice?” he looked at you, genuinely curious. you nodded.

“yeah, kinda. if you like the person, it’s nice.”

“why would you kiss someone you don’t like?” he questioned. you flushed, looking away and watching the screen.

“i mean, i don’t like every girl i sleep with. it’s weird to kiss someone during a one night stand anyways; it’s too intimate. i mean, i don’t even like kissing that much.” now, he flushed.

“why would you.. sleep with someone if you don’t want to be intimate?” you shrugged again, starting to feel defensive.

“sometimes you’re just horny and you have to go out and find someone to sleep with. it’s common.” he stopped asking questions after that, most likely realizing that you didn’t have good answers anyways.

it was quiet for the rest of the movie, leaving you to marinate in your embarassment. he didn’t mean to, but he made you feel horrible. maybe it was a mix of what anthony said earlier along with his questioning that made you feel this sleazy.

the movie ended and you went to rewind the tape before putting it back in the case. he didn’t say anything, not even about the movie. as you clicked the case shut, you looked at him.

“do you really want to practice kissing with me?” you tilted your head. he thought for a moment before responding.

“do you want to?” you did, but him making you admit it made you feel even worse. holding back your ego, you nodded before sitting next to him again.

you felt your heart race as he shuffled a little closer. you patted your lap, inviting him to sit. he adjusted, lifting his leg to go over your lap and straddle you. he planted himself, now closer to you than ever, his nose just an inch from yours. you could feel him, the heat from his body radiating onto you as your heart beat quicker. you could smell him, too. a fresh scent that you weren’t familiar with. it was intoxicating. his eyes flicked between your features, focusing on your lips. he swallowed.

“what should i do?” he asked, voice cracking as it broke the threshold of being a whisper. his hands landed on your chest, kneading your shirt nervously. you wondered if he could feel your heart racing. you held his waist, glancing down at his lips as he chewed on it.

“kiss me.” and that he did. he closed the gap between you two, lips pressed against eachother, just as you started to kiss back, he pulled away with a quiet smack, only giving you a small peck. you chuckled, hand leaving his waist and to the back of his head, fingers pulling at his hair. “come on, baby. you can do more than that..”

he nods, closing the gap again. he was still gentle, nervous to do something wrong, but with you now guiding him, he felt more confident. you bit on his lip, making him moan against you. you could never get enough of his noises, instantly trying to find ways to hear more. he squirmed, hips moving in circles subconsciously. you joined him, moaning as he grinded against you.

he sucked your bottom lip in, hands moving from your chest to your face. he cupped your cheeks, holding you still as you licked. his mouth opened as he let go and you took the opportunity, tongue meeting his. he moaned again, hips bucking against yours. your right hand gripped his hips, guiding them back and forth while you played with his hair. both of you echoed eachothers noises, muffled by your lips. you pulled away.

“you’re good at this..” you huffed, weirdly out of breath for something as simple as making out. you looked at his lips, shimmering. when you looked back up into his eyes, you found he was watching you intently, pupils blown. you smiled.

“you like it?” he asked. you chuckled. you did like it and he should be able to feel how much you like it just as you felt him. either way, you nod, pulling him closer again. his eyes fluttered shut, lips just barely grazing eachother.

“i love it, sweetheart.” you couldn’t get enough. his hips rolled against yours and his hand moved back to your hair. you were throbbing in your pants, but you couldn’t imagine pulling away. his slacks were almost rough against your sweatpants, fabric constricting his thighs. you quickly unbuckled his belt. he pulled your hair, making you gasp.

“i just wanna kiss. is that okay?” your eyebrows furrowed, mouth hung open as you nodded. he kissed again, picking up exactly where you left off. your groin felt warm as you witnessed dominance in him. you would have felt proud if it weren’t trumped by pleasure. he toyed with your hair, making you whimper.

never in your entire life have you been this turned on by making out. it almost felt like a chore to you most of the time, but now you couldn’t get enough. you could feel him, through his uniform, the nametag in his pocket prodding. the feeling heated you. knowing he was ex-communicated, that he’s all yours, only made you want more. you needed to teach him everything. you needed him to know how to please you and only you. he let go of your hair and you grabbed his wrist.

“fuck, keep pulling it..” you whined. he nods, yanking it. you whimper, gripping his hip harder as he did it. you looked at him, seeing a look on his face you could only describe as corrupted. he wanted more, just like you did. he wanted to hear you and feel you, desperate for it. his eyes were darker than you’ve seen them, glancing over you as he thought of what to do next.

the gap closed. your hands ran up and down his body, sliding over the button up. you untucked it, fingers running over his bare skin now. he moaned, squeezing his fist and pulling again to hear you respond. you did, squeezing his side. his skin was soft, almost silky. you pawed and caressed him as he grinded down on you. it was addicting. the push and pull, constantly grasping at eachother for more.

his free hand retreated from your face, running down your chest. you groan as he begins palming you, experimenting with his touches as you writhed under him. it was overwhelming. you needed more but you couldn’t handle it. everything was warm and he was moaning against you. his fingers tugged at your hair with just the right pressure. you fucking loved it. you loved him.

you trembled, moaning into his mouth as he did the same. you throbbed, cumming in your pants. he kept moving, hips stuttering as he came at the same time. you both sounded pathetic, high pitched whines and moans as he grinded down. his thighs trembled, your hips bucking up into him.

he pulled away, panting. you buried your face in his neck, still rutting into him as you finished. your arms wrapped around him and you pulled him close, basking in his warmth. it took a while before the wetness in your underwear made itself more apparent and you realized what happened.

“shit, shit.. it’s okay.” you quickly adjusted him until he got off. he watched as you looked around, trying to find something to wipe off with. “fuck, it’s fine. let’s just.. let’s get cleaned up.”

“what’s wrong?” he asked as you rushed to your room. you grabbed a rag from the bathroom, wetting it, before you grabbed whatever underwear and pants were clean. “y/n, what’s wrong?”

“don’t be embarassed, baby.” you comforted, ignoring the fact that he wasn’t even embarassed. you kept mumbling comforting phrases as you cleaned him and yourself up. you dressed him, putting him in a pair of your underwear and pants.

“thank you.” he said slowly as you dressed yourself. you didn’t respond, instead grabbing up all the dirty clothes and throwing it in the wash, desperate to get rid of any evidence that anything happened.

don’t get it twisted, you weren’t embarrassed about making out, at least not that much, but you were utterly humiliated by cumming in your pants. you never thought it would happen. you almost struggled to cum when you were with girls, why would you cum prematurely with a guy?

you found your way back to the couch, sitting on the opposite end as you realized he put another movie in. this time, it was the lion king. you didn’t really watch, though. instead, you stared straight forward in shock. he turned to you.

“is everything okay?” you nod. he scoots a little closer, reaching his hand out and touching your thigh. you looked away, hiding your face in your palm. “i don’t know why you would be, but don’t be embarassed. i’m sure everyone’s done it before. i did it, too!”

you wanted to cry. he tried to comfort you the same way you did for him. his voice was so gentle, it hurt. you loved him. even though you tried to convince yourself you were confused and horny, it settled in. he was perfect and you loved him. he patted your leg and pulled away, settling on the opposite end as scar was introduced.

[all-pacas]

in a world similar to darker baby trap cinematic universe where cameron’s chicago baby is chase’s, do you think cameron and chase are the kind of friendly divorced couple that never really have their “final goodbye” like what they tried in lockdown but instead have a series of goodbyes and end up never quite being able to let the other go even if they’re with other people?

the other people part is tricky, but we know for a fact that cameron doesn't let go of anything, ever; that she holds on to the past with both fists at all times. in a way, i really think she had to leave to successfully divorce chase and cut ties with house, because if she'd stayed she would have simply been unable to cut ties.

for real, look at everything else in her life. she makes half her identity about her Dead Husband; she holds on to her crush on house long after she stops actually being interested in him, just because the what if is so powerful. the whole sperm thing is like three examples of this: that she kept the sperm, that she was briefly willing to destroy her current relationship to not let go of her past one, that once chase called off the wedding she refused to cancel it, despite having absolutely no game plan. like. what were you gonna do cam?? just have the wedding and hope chase showed up??? (lbr, he would have)

even when cameron and chase do split up, she keeps trying. she was willing to throw her morals out the window and forgive murder for chase! that's kind of nuts lol. in lockdown, she comes on strong but she's also the one who goes "what were your favorite parts of our relationship :(" and initiates sex; i don't think she was trying to get back together with chase at that point exactly, it's more that she sucks at this. once cameron is in she is in, as soon as she stopped fighting her feelings that's it for her.

chase is much better at holding a grudge than she is, but honestly i don't know that his resistence is all that higher. we know from his father that he tried again and again and again to win love and validation, even after getting burned so many times: in a way, trying desperately to win approval is his own comfort zone. we also see through s6 in particular he's really struggling to move on from cameron: there's a bunch of episodes where he's thinking aloud and trying to puzzle out where it went wrong, how it could have gone differently. he seems to get closure after lockdown, but it's clearly still on his mind; he and masters have a conversation late in s7 where he talks about how she should leave diagnostics, how the job changed him "in ways not everyone in my life appreciated", in a way that i think implies his divorce still bothers him. he's over cameron in the sense that he's not pining, but it was a big deal for them both. literally just before the wedding, chase is earnestly brushing off foreman's jokes with "i want to be with her forever" and planning their ten year anniversary; he didn't just shrug all of it off after.

so yeah, i think that if they were in continued proximity — if cameron had divorced him but stayed in PPTH — those boundaries would have dissolved in a hot second. i think if they kept seeing one another in a darker timeline, they probably would have kept hooking up. in a way, pining for lost loves is cameron's sweet spot; in the same way, seeking validation from those who reject him is chase's.