#[like the loud thirsty bitch he is]

[grimowled]

mutuals!! if we haven't interacted yet (even if it's just with another muse) and you don't know how to approach or are just bored just give this post a like, and I shall slide the creepy birb all up in your inbox :>

[almadelsur]

💋 The Turmoil One Suffers

summary: In the second installment of The Secrets One Keeps, a relaxing day on the pogue proves to be anything but, with your inner struggles getting the better of you and JJ hot on your tail.

jj maybank x reader, rafe cameron x reader

warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, talks of suffocation ig? plz let me know if I've missed anything.

a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering I first wrote this like 3 years ago. Also, for those asking, I won't be doing a taglist for this fic bc I'm lazy and technologically deficient.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

You shouldn’t have been smoking, it made you feel uneasy, paranoid even.

You had found yourself on the pogue in the wake of Pope’s incessant bitching about how you had to make up for ditching them last night. The guilt had made you cave in. As he spoke, all that had flashed through your head was images of Rafe. You on top of Rafe, Rafe with his hands around your neck, the way Rafe’s hair felt between your fingers as you gripped on it when he got messy between your-

“Dude” Sarah’s voice snapped you out of your recurring thoughts.

You turned your head to her as you took a drag of the blunt JJ had rolled, "hmm?"

“I asked if you wanted a beer?”

You checked the time on your phone, 12pm. After enduring 3 hours on this floating nightmare, you decide you're probably deserving of one.

“uh yeah sure.” You took another hit, extending your arm to grab the cold bottle.

You bought the edge of the glass bottle up to your lips and took a swig, letting the liquid wash over your cotton mouth. A swig swiftly turning into a gulp as thirst suddenly became itself known to you. One gulp then turned to two and before you knew it the bottle dried out.

JJ eyed your every move, the feeling that had been bugging him since you got into the Twinkie that morning had now grown into full-blown concern. Your unusual behaviour was deafening with the sounds of alarm bells.

“Thirsty?” He spoke with furrowed brows, prompting Pope to chuckle though no joke had been intended.

Your eyes flickered towards JJ momentarily and instantly you knew what he was  thinking. Anger disguised as adrenaline coursed through you.

“Sarah will you pass me another? Mines empty.” Defiance clear in your tone, causing a thick tension to settle over the boat.

“'s a bit it early to start chugging drinks isn’t it?” JJ speaks up again before Sarah has time to respond.

You scoffed as you turned to him once more, maintaining eye contact as you took a long drag from blunt. As you exhaled the smoke, the thick white cloud blurred his features.

“Sarah” you tried again.

You hear a small sigh as she hands you another bottle.

“Thank you” You took another swig at the bottle, hoping the liquid would force down the concoction of guilt and anger that swirled in your mouth.

“So like am I saying words out loud or is it just in my head?” JJ tried, at this point he just wanted a reaction out of you.

“You asked me to come here.” Your tone was snippy, as another burst of smoke entered your system.

“well my mistake clearly.” He was getting pissed off now, and you couldn’t deny the sick satisfaction it gave you. You knew it was unfair, he hadn’t done anything wrong, you just couldn’t help it.

Pope cleared his throat. “This is a whole lotta tension for such a little boat.” He tried to lighten the mood but his joke fell flat.

As you downed your second beer, you took another drag. “It is isn’t it?” You turned to him.

“Maybe you should have some of this JJ, it’ll help you relax.” You threw the blunt in his direction, letting it fall at his feet.

“What the hell crawled up your ass today?” JJ spat at you, picking up the blunt.

The mixture of alcohol and weed infected your system, your breathing became staggered as you suddenly became hyper aware of the layers clinging onto your body.

You don't answer. Instead choosing to stand up and remove your T-shirt. Rafe returned to your mind as you focused on the image of him mimicking your same actions. Your trousers were next to go. You pushed them down whilst picturing Rafe’s hands running down your legs.

Pope eyed Sarah and JJ who’s gaze were trained on you and your movements.

“Whatcha doing there bud?” Sarah asked watching you strip down to your underwear.

“I’m too hot” was all you said, stepping off the edge of the boat and letting yourself plunge into the cool water below you.

As you became completely submerged, you breathed out all of the air in your irritated lungs. Leaving you empty and heavy as you continued to sink. The muffled noises of the water hit against your head yet all you could hear was your thoughts racing. 

As the need for air increased, the rush of thought slowed. You liked it. The weightlessness of your body, mixed with the numbing of all of your senses was peacefull. A welcome change from the overdrive your body had been running on for the past year. 

You forced yourself to stay down there, pushing your physical boundaries. A split second before completely losing consiousness you emerged again, letting the air penetrate through your system and invade your insides as it worked to reboot your muscles before giving life again to the internal mayhem in your mind again. 

You floated with your head above the surface and your back facing the pogues. You couldn’t find yourself to act remotely interested in what they thought about your little show. 

JJ in turn felt as though he was slowly loosing his head. He felt dumbfounded because it wasn’t just your behaviour that was different, your entire demeanour and vibe was off and he failed to comprehend what could have happened in the span of 12 hours for you to return to him a complete different person. 

Sarah could see the way he looked at you, he was hot on your tail and she panicked trying to divert his calculating eyes from you. “So” she spoke up loud enough so that you could hear and be part of the conversation should you wish to. “Theres a party at my house tonight.”

“Oh really?” JJ answered, evidently uninterested as he continued his stare down with the back of your head. 

“Yeah Ward’s out of town with Rose and y'know Rafe, any opportunity he has to get shitfaced he’ll take it.” Relief washed over her as JJ’s eyes finally unglued from you. 

At the mention of Rafe your ears perked up. 

“Do you guys wanna come?” A devilish grin on her face evident as she spoke. 

“A kook party? We wouldn't be welcome.” Pope answered for the three of you, prompting a scoff from Sarah. 

“It’s my house too, plus I already threatened Rafe to let me invite you guys. I told him I’d snitch on him otherwise.” She shrugged.

“I’m sure he loved that” JJ added, amused at the thought of antagonising the Cameron boy. 

“Well what did he say?” Three pairs of eyes turned to you as you finally spoke up from the water, now facing the boat again. 

JJ couldnt help the face that your question caused him to pull. Why did you suddenly care about what Rafe Cameron had to say? Sarah already said they could go so why did it even matter? 

“He said whatever as long we stay away from him.” Her answer caused Pope and JJ to roll their eyes. It had been somewhat of a lie though. 

Because what Rafe had really said when Sarah had threatened him was, “whatever just stay away from us, and why don't you go ahead and bring that sexy little friend of yours.” 

To which Sarah had replied with, “We wouldn’t want to hang out with you and your classist friends anyway. Also, Kiara’s with JJ, and Y/N wouldn’t even touch you with a 10 foot pole so.” Unkowing of the situation between you and Rafe.

Looking back at it now, Rafe’s coy response of “we’ll see” suddenly made much more sense to her as she shuddered slightly in disgust. 

“Can’t we take a night off? I mean don’t you guys think we’ve been going a little extra hard recently?” Pope tried to reason as you swam back up towards the boat, forcing yourself on board again. 

“I’ll be there.” You interjected as the water ran down your body, soaking the deck of the hms. 

“we all will be.” JJ fired back, a confusing swirl of concern and anger towards your attitude fought for dominance within his head. 

You ignored him once more and lay back on the sodden deck, letting your persistant introspection rest as the blanket that was intoxication comforted you. You looked up at the clouds and the weighlessness returned. Before you knew it, he sounds of Pope and Sarah chatting drifted away with the soft waves that carried the boat. You lost grip on consciousness as the sun lulled you to sleep.

Around half an hour went by before JJ spoke up. “hey" he double checked you were definitely asleep.

He took your silence as confirmation before turning to the other two. “Y'all saw that right?”

“Saw what?” Sarah played dumb even though he she knew exactly what he was referring to.

“the way she was acting” He whisper shouted, confused as to why no one else seemed remotely worried. “It was like she hated us.” He spoke with the tone of a wounded man.

“Yeah… us.” Pope muttered under his breath.

“I think she’s just tired J, she uh- she had a long night.” Sarah stiffled what had been something between a laugh and a groan.

“Nah guys look- I know her, that wasn’t normal.” JJ didn’t ease up.

“We all know her.” Pope jumped on the defensive.

“c’mon dude it’s not just me, somethings obviously wrong”

At this point Sarah wished for anything to distract him, because as much as JJ wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed when it came to academic performance, he most certainly wasn’t dumb. And he definitely knew what he was talking about when it came to you.

“Maybe It’s.. you know..” Pope waggled his eyebrows. “Her time…” he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck “of- of the month?”

“Nice Pope.” Sarah rolled her eyes.

“’s not that. Guys look listen to me somethings definitely wr-“ the ringing of his phone interrupted JJ mid sentence. Saved by the bell. Literally.

JJ grabbed his phone and his frown eased up slightly as he looked at the caller ID.

“Hey baby” his tone made it seem like whatever he had been worrying about softened it’s grip on him at the sound of her voice. “Uh huh, okay give us ten and we’ll be there.” He hung up the phone and slipped it back into his pocket.

“Kie?” Sarah asked, praying he wouldn’t resume his ramble.

“Yeah she’s finished up at the wreck, wants us to go get her.” And with that the subject was dropped.

—————————————————————————

The late afternoon breeze stroked you awake as you suddenly became aware of the voices around you.

Your eyes fluttered open and you stirred where you lay, your body stiff from the 4 hour positioning against the hard wood of the hms. You slowly sat yourself up and threw your T-shirt back on your body before turning back to glance at the now complete group of pogues. Fuck how long had you been out for.

You let your eyes linger on Kiara and JJ a couple of seconds longer than everybody else. He laughed carelessly pulling her tighter against his side. You groaned out quietly and reached for your phone, typing out that damned name.

To Rafe: Having a party and you didn’t invite me? I’m almost offended.

Almost instantly a reply came through.

Miss me already?

You rolled your eyes as he sent you another.

Figured Sarah would open her big mouth, better see you tonight ;)

“Morning Camper.” John B spoke up. You turned around to face him, every single one of them with their attention on you.

“Hey can you take me home?” You directed at no one in particular.

“You don’t wanna stay and hang out?” Kie asked, she wanted to reach you, connect with you.

“I just want to go home” You were irritated and your head hurt, you were certainly in no mood for any of this.

John B was next to try “C’mon man we haven’t all hung out like this in ag-“

“Fuck just take me home” You lashed out. “please” You added in an attempt to soften the blow.

Silence fell over the pogues as John B lifted himself up and steered the boat towards the direction of your house.

As you hopped down you muttered a joyless goodbye to everyone.

“Wait! I’ll walk you in.” JJ peeled himself away from Kiara and followed behind you, slightly speeding as you hadn’t bothered to stop and wait.

He walked beside you, waiting until you were both out of hearing distance from the others.

“why are you angry?” He spoke up.

“I’m not angry.” You tried to walk faster but a calloused hand stopped you.

“Stop. Just stop.” You heard the desperation in his voice as he turned you around to face him. “can you just talk to me? Look whatever I did to piss you off I’m sorry. You just- you were fine yesterday and now all of a sudden you hate us-“

“Stop JJ” You just wanted it to stop. The consequence of your actions pounding down on you with every word that left his mouth.

“Stop what?!” He couldn’t help but shake you.

“Talking! Stop talking!” You shoved him forcefully off of you.

“The hell's wrong with you?! dude I’m worried about you. Today’s just been so weird.” His fingers shoved themselves through his hair, a nervous habit of his.

The familiar lump in your throat began to form at the sight of your best friend.

“I’m tired J.” It wasn’t a lie, you really were fucking exhausted. You were tired of lying, tired of watching the boy you loved love someone else, tired of trudging through your life heartbroken.

“You’re lying.” He shook his head like a disappointed parent. “Why you lyin' to me?”

“JJ. I’m. Tired.” You screwed your eyes shut as your breathing began to quicken “I’m not lying I’m just-“

“Okay alright.”  His embrace cut you off. “I believe you.” He hated seeing you upset. Having known you practically his whole life, he also knew that nothing ever got resolved when you got like this, so he dropped the subject.

You almost broke down then and there, using everything you had in you to move your arms around him, hugging him back.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, the meaning behind your words far greater than he could realise.

“Hey it’s okay, we all have off days right?” He let go of you and gave you a small smile.

“Right.” Your remained court and quiet. 

“I’ll see you tonight. Go rest for a bit okay?”

You nodded and began to walk away before his voice stopped you once more.

“Yo” You turned to see that he had shoved his hands in pockets. “You’d tell me if something was wrong right?” He hated that he even had to ask.

“Mhm, course” You lied straight through your teeth before turning and walking away from him uninterrupted. You knew that as soon and as your bedroom door closed behind you, you’d sink down into a pit of despair and loathing.

Whilst the resolution had given him a little comfort, something deep inside told him that this wasn’t the end of it.

Perhaps he should have left things alone, maybe then things wouldn’t have escalated to extent that they were about to.

So as he watched you walk away, JJ stood there unknowing of what was to come. Unknowing of the way things were about to change between you forever.

[blitzwhore]

Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Blitz—

Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.

Eventually everyone goes...

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.

I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.

Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.

But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.

I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.

And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!

It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—

You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.

[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]

Stolas—

Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?

I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!

You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.

Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.

I'll save us both before we grow cold.

What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.

I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...

He deserves the choice to stay or go.

So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...

Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.

What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...

I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.

I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!

[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]

[riskyraiker]

Music to your ears

Sub!Schlatt x Dom!reader

AN: HELLO! I finally write something for the big guy! And a lot of people on Tumblr say he's a top but to me he's the tough guy who loves being a bottom. If you have requests for Schlatt OR TED i can do them. There is a list pinned on my profile of what i write, go check it out!

Reader is GN, but called mommy. No specific anatomy described

Tags: Sub Schlatt, Mommy kink, Dom reader. Blowjob, degrading, overstimulation and praising.

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You and Schlatt are dating but sometimes his internet persona got onto your nerves. "Look at this bitch, so dumb!" There he went and made fun of everyone who made a dumb mistake he saw in the tiktoks he was reacting to. You are there too, because Schlatts fans love when you guys make content together. But right now it wasn't so fun for you. Having a dirty idea sounded fun at least and so you did it, you whispered dirty things into his ear. "How 'bout I turn you into a bitch just for me?" You did get a reaction out of him so you acted quick, smooched his cheek and left saying you're tired and thirsty. You didn't hear him speak until you left the room, you got your phone and watched his stream. He's red as a tomato yelling at chat that he's not blushing and you loved when he got flustered. Forgetting the stream, laying on the couch, putting your phone down and turning the TV on. Not long after you could hear Jambo and [REDACTED] meowing next to you wanting food. "Sup little fellers. Hope your dad won't kick me out after that trick I pulled." Lifting Jambo up into your arms, [REDACTED] following behind. You walk to the kitchen, putting the cat down and getting their food from the cabinet. "There you go little guys. Better not be hungry now." Surprisingly Schlatt had ended stream few minutes ago and quietly walked into the kitchen right behind you so you wouldn't manage to run away from him. Not until his hands wrap around your waist and get a good hold, pinning you against the wall. There's an intense but lust filled look in both of your eyes. "How fucking dare you pull such a trick on stream! Are you that greedy?" Schlatt wasn't actually mad, but just embarrassed and quite horny. If he gave you an attitude you gave one back "Me greedy? You're the one who has been whining the past week for a man to rail the shit out of you when you see even one clip of them!" As if you would be a bottom. Never! That man was more submissive than you would think. Schlatt is of course taller than you, but he doesn't have you under his control.

“You like the idea of being dominated and I would love the idea of having you whining under me.” You spat back and that made Schlatt freeze. Taking the chance, you kiss him and push him against the opposite wall. “Let’s see who’s greedy now, pretty boy” You both continue to make out for a while until your mouth is on his neck. Sucking, kissing, biting and licking on every part you can, marking him up. Small whines leave his throat, he has his mouth shut tight as possible but it doesn't help. Schlatt's cock already hard, yet you give his crotch zero attention. His hands are on your hips holding you still and to keep you close. “Hands off, I'm gonna test you and see if that little whisper of mine will stand.” Schlatt lets out a whine and puts his hands on his head, holding his hair. You start to go lower, exploring his body with your hands, lifting up his shirt and kissing his v-line. Pulling his trousers down along with his boxers, his cock sprungs free from the tight space. You grab his cock and squeeze it from the base and watch as precum slides from the tip. Giving the tip a small kiss you take it into your mouth, and immediately sucking hard. You earn a loud moan from the action, so you start bobbing your head. Schlatt’s hands find their place in your hair, but you stop once you feel them. “Toots, don't stop now..” Schlatt whines and doesn't realize his mistake. Taking the cock out of your mouth, “Did I say you could touch me or hold my hair? You slut.” Schlatt can't process your words and tries to move you by tugging your hair. You rise from your knees and grab his chin firmly, but not hard enough to hurt him. “Did you even hear what I just said? No. Touching.” Schlatt just looks slightly over you, but you go on your toes to claim eye contact. “I'm sorry..so sorry, mommy” You let go of his chin and go back on your knees. “That's what I thought. You better behave or I'll leave you like this.” Schlatt whined once again and tried his best to keep still.

You don't start to suck him off immediately, but you jerk him off slightly at first, just to get a reaction out of him. Once your mouth is back on him, the melodies his throat creates are pure heaven to your ears. Schlatts hips twitch a little, but you push them back, Schlatt his his lower back on the corner of the kitchen island. "Toots..fuck. D-don't stop. I'm abo- Ngh~" God you would give him what he wants, but you're not here to pleasure him like he deserves it. You're here to teach him a lesson. You slow your movement to brutally slow and squeezing his cocks base lightly. The slutty moan he let out is like out of a porno. "I'm not here to blow you off and give you what you want, Jay. Like I said before, I'm going to make you my bitch. So you take what I give you and won't cum until I say so, you understand?" Schlatt being so fucked in the head can't even speak properly, focused on your hand squeezing his cock and barely listeting to your words. "You understand?" You repeat and this time Schlatt hears it. "Yes mommy, i'll be good." Now that's more like it, you could almost call yourself a brat tamer if you're able to have Schlatt like this.

"That's my good boy." You put your lips on the tip and licked the slit, until taking him in your mouth much as possible. Hollowing your cheeks, you start to move. Schlatts eyes widen at the sensation and brings his hand and biting it to quieten himself. You notice and pull his hand down by his triceps since it's the closest thing you can grab. Schlatt took the hint and let out the noises he made, making you more horny and closing your eyes. "Fuck, Toots I'm so close, please let me cum!" Now that was your cue to slow down, making Schlatt wonder why stopped. Realization dawned on him as he remembered your words. "I'm going to make you my bitch." You weren't going to make him beg for release, were you? Oh you absolutely were as you took his cock out of your mouth with a single pop. A single whine was what schlatt let out and leaned his head back. You just kissed his thighs, balls and his lower stomach, waiting for his orgasm to slide away. And not long after your mouth was on him again. Schlatt craved his orgasm so much that tears started to form in his eyes as he tried to stay still as possible. "Toots, this isn't fa- ahhah, isn't fair." Schlatt's mumbling echoed to deaf ears as you sucked him off hard as possible and stopping once again when Schlatt's body language showed he was close.

After five minutes you gave Schlatt the chance to prove himself. You could've went for longer, but won't be too cruel. "Now is your chance to prove that you deserve to cum." The second you stopped talking Schlatt's mouth was spilling words out so quick you couldn't even make out what he said. "Jay, speak clearly or I will continue the next five minutes this same routine." "Mommy please. I- I can't take it much longer" The tears bubbling in his eyes, threatening to fall. "I'll let you come if you say what you are, whose are you and where you belong." Schlatt whined and opened his mouth to talk, but struggled with the words. "I'm yo- I'm a your bitch, only yours, and I belong under you. Now Toots please!" Schlatt begged as you were satisfied with the answer. "That's better, my own bitch. Such a good one aswell. Now from now on I expect you to behave." Schlatt didn't have time to even nod as he felt your warm mouth around his cock. Far too overstimulated and tortured he couldn't help but let the tears of overstimulation fall and moan. His throat his hurting already, but he doesn't care. There's much better things going on. "Toots I'm going to cum! Im goin- nngh" You tried to swallow much as possible but few drops slided on your jaw and you neck, some fell on the floor. "That's my good boy." You rose from your knees, put your hands on his cheeks and swiping tears off with your thumbs. "You okay? I didn't go too far, did i?" Schlatt nodded his head and let the words fall out of his mouth. "I'm fine, Toots. Great even and you could never go too far with me." He smiled and put his head on your shoulder best he could. You cleaned everything up and cuddled with Schlatt the rest of the evening. "You know Toots. I think we should do that again sometime." You raised a brow. "I thought you would never ask."

That day wasn't the last time you were in control..

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AN: OMG I HAD TECHNICAL PROBLEMS WITH THIS😭😭😭yet i hope you will enjoy this!!!! Love you all🫶🫶

[smolvenger]

Hot for Teacher (Professor! Tom Hiddleston x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: After being private about your relationship, your professor boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, introduces you to his students.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Some thirsty comments and cursing, but no smut. Established relationship and lots of fluffy moments. Grammar and spelling mistakes that slipped past me. Reader not being a student and being an Adult Adult (tm). A big fancy ball because I decided not some hum drum party was gonna do. (I'm the writer, I can do what I want). I rip off YouTube comments and Ana Huang and stuff I see on Tiktok and Instagram.

A/N: For @holdmytesseract's request! I am sorry this took a while due to stuff happening, but here it is!!!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

You always visited the campus coffee shop on Mondays at 10 am to overhear students being thirsty for your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at their comments. They were leaving their English Literature Survey class. Only they weren’t discussing books.  

“Sooo nice of him to lower the word count for the essay, he knows it’s a lot.”

“Holy crap, did you see how tight his shirt was today? I could practically see his titties.”

“He needs to quote Shakespeare again. I think I’m developing a kink.”

“If I caught my girl in bed with Professor Hiddleston, I’d tuck him in.”

“If I was at the club and Professor Hiddleston was hitting on my girl, I’d start to cry…because he didn’t choose me.”

“I’m a hardcore lesbian, but Professor Hiddleston is on my cheat card.”

“I’m a hardcore asexual, but Professor Hiddleston is so hot that if I had to get pregnant I’d want him to do the honors.”

You sipped up your drink, sitting in a far corner. Smiling bright as you heard them. Stifling a laugh so hard you could feel your drink always threatened to snort out of your nose. You would cup your face, ensuring they didn’t take note of you. Even get out the notes app on your phone to type them down. Not that you’d ever show him. 

He was their hot Professor. But to you, he was just Tom.

Just Tom. A boyfriend who cared for you respected you, and listened to you. Who did the bare minimum and so much more. They didn’t know his flaws, living with each other's smells and body odors and functions and insecurities. And the little, beautiful moments that made you all the more in love with him. How you would both go to bookstores and geek out after certain works, make a mess in the kitchen trying a new recipe, or stay in your pajamas until 1 pm watching something on the TV. Did they know how loud he snored at night? Or how sensitive his neck was? Or that he was fidgety if he sat too long? 

Then one of them said “His girlfriend is one lucky ass bitch. I wonder what she’s like?”

“Oh…he hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend, do you think…he’s single?!” one asked.

They all shot up like meerkats with big smiles.

You froze, only staring quietly at your drink. 

Tom didn’t talk about you in class. Nothing. Nada. Goose eggs.  They didn't know you existed.

So far you were sure they were not little homewreckers- not successfully, at least. You trusted Tom and he trusted you and his students respected his boundaries. But he blocked them on social media so they wouldn’t dig anything about him. Tom was a private person and he wanted that to be respected by his students. 

When you both met to hang out and make dinner later that evening- his special Spaghetti bolognese recipe, he gave you a hug and kiss on your head.

“Oh, you missed a spot!” you teased.

His eyes crinkled beneath his glasses.

“Oh- uh,” he voiced out.

You dived in to kiss him on the lips, his beard scratching your chin.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Oh, just fine. Your students were…wondering about me today. I saw them at the shop.”

“They didn’t recognize you?”

“No- they don’t know what I look like. Or about me, period…we’ve kept it that way…”

Both of you got into the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves and preparing the pasta and sauce. It smelled of garlic, onion, and olive oil, making your stomach rumble. How easily smelling that in a kitchen could solve all of your problems!

He smiled at you. Then, as the pasta was set to boil in the pot, he turned to you. His sleeves rolled up (making you giddy inside) and his face was a little flushed from the heat of the steam from cooking.

“My angel, I don’t want to keep you in hiding- and you shouldn’t.”

“Tom, what do you mean?” you asked. You stirred the sauce, then tapped the spoon and set it on a jar for attempted cleanliness.

 I love you. And this is a part of my life…would you like to meet them? I promise you, they won’t hurt you. I won’t let them!” 

He went up to hug you from behind and you watched the simmering food.

You paused, taking in a breath. What were you afraid of? Were you ashamed of Tom or being with him? No, not a bit.

 You turned around to face him.

“They’re college kids. They’re basically puppies…I think I’d like to meet them.” you agreed

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

You both decided what event it should be that you would meet them. There were events called Bookish Balls that were all the rage now. It was a prom for adults. Proms where everyone dressed like fantasy characters and showed off costumes and even cosplays. It was everything from complex armor to a dress with some elf ears on. 

You knew he had a Shakespearean-era outfit from a play he did that he kept you just had to find the right look. It would be more exciting and less creepy then if you jumped on them at the mall like a pair of stalkers. 

And the ball looked like fun.

You and Tom both arrived. He was in his Shakespearean garb and crown. You had your own outfit- you adored it. You couldn’t help but look at each large mirror you walked by as you walked down the dim hallways with carpeted floors.

All the students were talking about it- tickets were 60 percent off for students. Since they were all raving about these hot new fantasy books between their required reading of Dickens. They all rattled their iced coffees like maracas and gossiped and shared pics of their outfits on their phones every day before class according to Tom. Most of them would all be there.

Little did they know their Professor was going to be there, as well as his girlfriend.

You both arrived at the fine, fancy hotel. Tom was dressed in his leather doublet and pants with a large cape and a grand crown. Ever the king. You had splurged on the fancy outfit you wanted badly- and you felt as if you were a heroine in a story as you walked through.

“You look stunning- they’re going to adore you,” Tom assured you.

You hoped so. If they met you and humiliated you in some way tonight or after, you would move to Antarctica and learn to speak penguin. 

Taking his arm and feeling like royalty, you both went down the fine large building. You saw people gathered. There were some stage lights and the large gala room had trees with flowers everywhere as well as thrones, little game booths photo booths, and a banquet. And, of course, a packed dance floor. A live band played. Many people wore crowns and wings and elf ears and were dancing away with zeal. Women twirled their ballgown skirts with smiles so big it lit them up. Many flicked their capes dramatically or wrapped around them like blankets. There were fairy lights and glitter everywhere and there were photo ops and even a costume contest. It was in full sway.

 Including a crowd that included Tom’s students. They jumped up in time to the song, breathlessly singing along to every word.

Tom held out your hand, both of you feeling like the king and queen looking over their jubilant subjects. You both walked down. Hoping your outfit looked as nice on you as you hoped it would.

The song was entering its last chorus. The student's backs were turned and their capes and wings were bouncing as they danced. They hadn’t noticed you yet.

He went to his group of students and cleared his throat. At once they turned their heads.

They looked at him and then you and their jaws dropped.

Tom said.“hello, here is  Y/N, my beautiful, amazing girlfriend.” He then leaned you in and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

All of their eyes bugged out of their skulls and jaws dropped like broken nutcrackers among them.

You were worried the girls in the group would glare at you like they were going to rip out your stomach intestines.

But instead, all of them collapsed into a collective “AAaaaaawwwwwww, hello!” and “What?! WHAT?!” Their eyes flitted toward Tom in tight leather (who wouldn’t?) and you in your presence. 

You went up like in any social situation. You gave them a smile- warm, genuine, polite, and friendly.

“Hi there, it’s nice to meet you- I heard all about you guys!”

You shook their hands. You got to meet them and learn names- Kelly, Hailey, Jessie, Emily, Daniel, Isaiah, Chase, Cameron, Kat, Miranda, Edgar, and so many more your head spun. But you eventually got it with practice.

But they let you dance with them. Be relaxed and have fun. It moved from a band to a playlist of all the classic dance songs. The band blasted Single Ladies and the girls invited you, dragging you in. You tried to copy the moves from the music video, but couldn’t quite and they all burst into laughter anyway.

It then slowed down- it was a ballad, the Cody Fry song about falling in love being like a symphony.

“Well…could I have a dance with my lady?” Tom asked, holding out his hand.

They gasped and looked at you.

“Oh, what a gentleman! I’d be delighted!” you said, accepting his hand.

They let you and Tom have a slow dance- how handsome he looked in the light, beaming at you. They smiled as if they were watching a rom-com at the end. There were no angry glares- at most, some looked a little reflective and sad. But none dared interrupt the moment with you and Tom.

Would they hate you after seeing the affection?

If so, they shut their mouths and minded their beeswax about it.

There were loads of pictures- you were willing to take some (they were seeing you as the surrogate Adult Adult more than their adults) and they included you in some, including some selfies.

Tom excused himself and returned with even brought you a little plate of food. a plate full of little sandwiches, cheeses, and fruits. You both rested your feet and shared some, feeling their eyes on you. For dessert, there were some gooey brownies that melted in your mouth. Tom eagerly grabbed some, his large hands packing as many brownies as he could. 

But you realized his beard had streaks of chocolate brownies on it, you burst into laughter and you heard some giggling from the students too.

“Oh, let me take care of that!” you offered.

You got out a handkerchief and wiped it off of him. You definitely heard “awwwws” in the distance. Looking at it, his beard was now clean.

“There you go! But dashing as always!” you said.

He held your hand and kissed it. The “AWWWWWS” got louder in the back and you both had to suppress your laughter.

Rejoining the students, you saw them less as little judges or would-be homewreckers. You got to talk to them. Maybe you judged them harshly- you remembered being in college when you were that young too. Of course, they grumbled about the coursework sometimes and you gave your own insight. 

“Oh- you’re seriously reading Persuasion? Oh, just wait! Austen takes some time to get used to when you read her stuff- read them slowly and you will catch onto what’s happening! The yearning in that one is beautiful” you encouraged a distraught Hailey. 

You even discussed what fantasy books they were into and got some more recommendations for your ever-growing TBR. And at the end, every last person in the crowd gathered and danced. You and Tom joined the students with big grins and aching feet, but you wouldn’t stop until that last song ended its phrase. No drama. No pettiness. And no hiding. No fear. Just people at a party. Young and happy and alive.

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

The other morning, you were back at the coffee shop. Waiting on them. Soon enough, they arrived in their band, though you remained in the corner. 

“I couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend!” Daniel gasped.

“Really?! I’m not! A man that fine can have his pick,” Kelly commented.

They began to all get iced coffees and gather around.

“She is gorgeous- didn’t you see her at that ball!? And she’s super nice!”

“Yeah…I want them to be happy and he seems so happy-”

“Oh, he is cheesing after her- you saw how he smiled?! And how he got the plate for her? Like, he’s a walking green flag!”

‘She’s so lucky!

“Listen, I am glad they’re happy…I just wish it were me…”

They all sighed and agreed,. You waited for that whole vibe of that phrase to blow away.

Then, quietly you walked over.

“Hello everyone,” you said.

They gasped and turned heads.

“YN! YN, hi!” one boy, what was his name- oh yes, Cameron!-said.

“Oh, I just wanted to pop by,” you added.

Then, Emily stood up. She got out a chair from one table and moved it over to where everyone sat .

“Do you have anywhere to be? You can…you can join us! You’re welcome to!”

You smiled at them and took a seat.

[elaina-writes-things]

I haven't seen a single episode of Hazbin Hotel yet. Prime's fuckin' expensive lmfao

Anyway, my TikTok FYP has been flooded with songs from the show, and fortunately I got a look at Big Daddy Lucifer himself, so...I think it's pretty clear I wanna take that for a ride.

I may make a part two. I may not. All I know is that I needed to write about him or it'd consume me.

~~~

Goddamn. Literally.

Look, you hadn't been a saint when you were alive, but you definitely hadn't anticipated eternal punishment in Hell. You hadn't killed anybody, or stolen anything, or been a huge hedonist. As far as you were concerned, you'd lived an extremely average life, the only remarkable part being that huge semi truck flattening you after the driver fell asleep behind the wheel. To you, the fact that you were condemned was bullshit, which is why you'd found yourself doing everything in your power to make it through this clearly-hastily-thrown-together rehab program at the Hazbin Hotel.

Now, though, standing in the lobby and watching a delicious little king strut around, you realized you wanted — needed — to fuck that guy more than you needed to get to Heaven.

"Charlie said her mom's pretty much out of the picture, right?" You whispered to Vaggie.

"Uh, yeah?" She whispered back, glancing at you briefly with her one good eye, then back to watching her girlfriend give Lucifer a tour of the hotel. "Why?"

"Just asking," you mumbled, enthralled. He was singing, now, with a voice like the gorgeous fallen angel he was. You wanted to know how musical his moans sounded, and what other sorts of things that mouth could do.

A glass of water suddenly appeared in front of you, held in a pink-gloved hand. You looked at Angel Dust, who smirked back and winked.

"Drink it up you thirsty bitch."

"Shut up," you hissed, taking the glass and pointedly setting it on the counter. His smirk only grew.

"Don't gotta be supes tall to ride that ride," the spider continued.

"Oh my god."

"Nah, He ain't watchin'. I could, though, if that's your thing."

You wanted to bury your head in your hands but refrained. If you did that, you wouldn't be able to stare at all six of Lucifer's wings. Those things were huge. How often did he preen them? Were they sensitive? Were they an erogenous zoNE OH SHIT CHARLIE AND HER DAD WERE COMING THIS WAY.

Like the others crowded together on the edge of the lobby, you straightened up and plastered a polite smile on your face. Down the line, your names were called out, and the king of Hell shook every corresponding hand. Then, he was face to face with you, and it shouldn't have been as adorable to need to tilt your head down just slightly to meet his eyes as it was.

"And this is another one of our guests! They volunteered to stay! Voluntarily!" Charlie boasted, giving her dad your name. Your hand fit nicely in his — warm, he was exceptionally warm. You didn't realize how cold Hell was until just this moment — and noticed how terribly it was trembling.

Lucifer repeated your name as Charlie gave it, staring almost as intently at you as you were to him. You'd give almost anything to hear him say it again.

Fuck, he had such pretty eyes.

"Thanks! I get that a lot!" He grinned. You'd said that out loud like an idiot. In your periphery, you could see Angel trying his best not to burst out laughing. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

"That's good," you murmured without thinking, eyes flitting up and down, "your body deserves to be praised."

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

The hand clasping yours tensed up, squeezing briefly, painfully. You both stared at each other with wide eyes, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

Then Lucifer quickly withdrew, turning away as though you weren't there and had never existed to begin with.

You ignored the curious look Charlie gave you, the wheezing coming from Angel, the annoyed understanding from Vaggie, and everything else as you excused yourself to go up to your room. Your face was beet red and your stomach was tight with shame. You wanted to disappear under the bed sheets, never to be seen again. Had you really just told the king of Hell you had a thing for praising people? At the very least, he probably thought you were a total whor—

Squeak!

You lifted your head up from where it was buried under all your pillows, coming face to face with a little, rubber ducky. It was cute, sporting two, rosy cheeks and a white top hat.

Gently lifting it, your fingers brushed against a scrap of paper taped to the underside.

"If you meant what you said, I'm free tonight."

A phone number was scrawled on the back. Your heart was thumping wildly in your chest as you read and reread the note, unable to fight the stupid grin on your face.

"Holy shit," you blurted, "I'm gonna fuck Lucifer."

[magicxc]

Square Up

Pairings: Survey Corps x Reader - things they do that annoy you

Word Count: 1029

Warnings: none

A/N: You know what really grinds my gears? When people are cruising on the road at 8am. Bitch move over, I’m literally late for work 😭 

Lol that being said, here’s some everyday routines where I think the guys would be most annoying. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren - leaves the big pot to soak.

You’re thankful for the help you really are, but you’d be even more thankful if Eren didn’t half ass the job. Albeit some of those food stains are really stubborn and just refuse to move, but every time? Not even! One day you had put on a pot of water to bring some potatoes to a boil, eager to stuff your face with the fluffy goodness of your handmade garlic mashed potatoes. And sure enough when dinner was long gone there the pot sat atop the stove, unwashed, because it needed “to soak.” You get it, Eren hates doing the dishes but you might actually cry the day you walk into the kitchen and meet the sink empty. You've complained about it on occasion but truth be told it doesn't bother you as much as it used to. He's even gotten creative and started hiding the pots in the oven and you can't help but giggle, closing the door so as to keep his "secrets" hidden.

Levi - adds water to the empty soap bottle to make it last longer.

Levi lives a somewhat frugal lifestyle and it has everything to do with his upbringing. Thankfully he’s a lot less stingy than he used to be, but this habit in particular has been the hardest to kick; and you just about pull your hair out every time. It's not even like there's not enough soap to spare. It's mostly him getting the most use out of the lingering soapy particles as he can. Surely it no longer serves its protective purposes, no matter how sudsy the results are? You've  since learned to keep an extra bottle of personal soap in the cabinets for such a time, bringing it to the countertops once Levi has exhausted all efforts with the previous one. 

Erwin - loud eater.

It’s not even an Erwin thing to be honest, it’s a people thing. Slurpers, suckers, gulpers, they can all get it. Cause why? The only people who can actively change the way they eat are the open mouthers, so you don't even waste your time with the Commander. Some background noise on the tv or radio can help you through most meals, but it doesn't stop your skin from crawling at the idea or pause in noise volume. 

Connie - leaves a swig of juice left in the carton. 

This one blows literal steam out of your ears because what was even the point. If an 8 ounce glass of orange juice was just poured and there’s 2 ounces left, just finish the damn thing. You’ve heard excuses ranging from he didn’t want to because then he’d feel bad for not leaving you any to he simply wasn't thirsty enough the last gulp; but none of those ever make it better. Connie still does this but makes an extra effort to hide the carton in the deepest part of the fridge for when he’s ready to finish its contents. 

Jean - revs his engine loud as hell.

At first you thought it couldn't be helped until one day you had to borrow Jeans car to run a few errands. Then it all clicked. This mf wants to be seen. He wants people to know it's his engine with all that horsepower beneath the hood. He wants any chance he has to show off his sleek ride that he’s worked so hard for. Unfortunately it's all at the expense of your eardrums and now you only ride with Jean out of necessity. When you do ride with him, however, you make sure to roll all the windows up, not that it helps much.

Onyankopon - uses all the hot water after a shower. 

While it is annoying you don't mind this one so much during the summer time or the night time. But it just about drives you nuts in the morning and during the winter months because not only are you now running late for work waiting for some hot water to kick in but if it doesn't in time, now you have to suffer through a cold and uncomfortable shower. You've since started looking up the benefits of a cold shower but none of them has outweighed your comfort. So you've started showering before him, dashing into the bathroom as soon as you even think he's about to get in there.

Reiner - sets his alarm but never hears it. 

This one really does you in. You're not the lightest sleeper but you can definitely hear when an alarm is non stop ringing. You sometimes envy the deep sleep that Reiner manages to engulf himself in but then slowly remember that it's borderline dangerous. The only reason you don't throw a bitch fit is because y’all have similar work schedules, so the alarm also works in your favor. But he's definitely gotten the occasional pillow to the face or slap to the arm; not that he ever feels it.

Armin - gotta take a pic of every meal.

It's all about presentation with Armin. You can cook a pot of ramen noodles and he’d grab his camera if you fixed it up nice. Y'all are at dinner and the waiter brings the food by? Can't dig in until he has the perfect shot. Usually you don't mind, but his perfect shot takes at least four different angles and your stomach gets louder by the minute. You haven't found a way around this one just yet, so you instead endure the torture.

Floch - watches his tv with the volume level on ignorant. 

Why must the house sound like a surround sound movie theater you’ll never know. Action movies you understand. You'll even bite for thrillers. But anything else? It’s definitely up for debate. You can literally step outside on the curb of the street and still hear the entirety of the movie playing. You assume the loud noise is so he can submerge himself in the plot of the film but you’re running out of different ways to tell him to turn that shit down. The new rule now is nothing on the screens past 7pm if he can't watch it at regular volume.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (part five)

Nine: God the smell in here is making me want to die John: Then go outside Five: Then die --- Maggie, writing a book: Can your breathing get cut off if there's a heavy weight on your chest? Adam: Yeah Maggie: Cool Adam: That's how they killed people in the old days, by stacking a bunch of rocks on their chest and suffocating them Maggie: Okay a 'Yes' would've been fine --- John: Finish your food Nine: I'm going to go home and take the fattest shit you've ever seen do not make me eat more --- Eight: I'm psychic, I can see into people's futures. I see in your near future that you're going to get sick Eight: *coughs in Nine's face* --- Adam: Did you eat? Maggie: Yeah. A strawberry Adam: That's it? Maggie: Two strawberries --- Six and John: *talking about spirit animals* Six: You'd be a swan John: Because I'm so graceful? Six: No cause you're white --- Sam: I was actually really good at orchestra in school, I was first chair on the cello Six: *puts her hand to her chest and gasps* Oh my god! Sam: What? Six, sarcastically: What a cool story! --- Six and Marina: *having a normal adult conversation* Eight: My black olive just rolled across my laptop --- Nine: Dirty mother... John: *giving him a dirty look with Ella next to him* Nine:...Of...Jesus --- One: Hey what're you gonna be for Halloween? Adam: I dunno yet what about you? One: I was thinking of being a witch Adam: Oh that's cool One: Yeah maybe you can be my broomstick so I can ride you all night Adam: WHAT- One: What, is that bad? Would you rather I be a pirate and you be a sword so I can stick you in me? Adam: *screaming* --- Ella: *touches a gross blanket* Ew Marina: What? Ella: It's giving me the ick Marina: The what? Ella: I'm acoustic --- Six: Bitch, I do NOT lift to be called a lipstick lesbian --- Five: *staring at a candle* Eight: What are you doing? Five: Trying to light myself on fire with my mind --- Nine, in public loud as hell: Yeah I'd fuck young Elvis Strangers passing by: *giving him grossed-out looks* Nine: What? You would too Nine, muttering: Prudes --- Sam: Look at my skeleton animal collection. I can a bat, I got a rat, and I got a cat Hannu, sadly: But no hats --- John: *celebrating his birthday and opening gifts* Five, silently crying: *places a couple wadded-up singles in front of John* That's all I got --- Six: You know it would've been easier if you just took the highway Marina: But...the trees... --- Adam: I'm gay John after taking Adam to a Fall Out Boy concert and watching him sit on the floor with three empty couches: Cool --- One and Six: *Talking about the ped@ at their job* Six: He's the reason there's an 18+ age limit --- Five: Despite popular belief, I will be going to Heaven because Satan will be jealous someone has a fatter ass than him --- Sam teaching the Lorics to make cereal: Okay first gather your things Lorics: :) Sam: Then, you put in your milk Daniela: Huh? Lorics: :) Sam: Next, you add your cereal Daniela: Hell no Lorics: :) Sam: Then drizzle in your honey Daniela: Bro WHAT Lorics: :) Sam: And finally, put it in the microwave Daniela: WHAT THE FUCK Lorics: :) Sam: And then you have cereal Lorics: Yay Daniela: I'm going to kill you --- Marina: So what is credit score? Sam: *ten minute explanation of credit score, payments, debt, and loans with examples* Marina:... Sarah: The loophole so the bank can't lend poor people money to stop being poor Marina: Ohhhh --- Nine: Damn, dude, I really don't know anything about you. I only know like your favorite color and animal, the music you listen to, your favorite movies, how you dress, your favorite coffee flavor, your personality, your deepest fear, your address, your entire backstory, all the people you like and hate, and your habit of needing to use a straw with every single drink or it doesn't 'taste right' John:... --- Eight: Damn I'm thirsty Adam: Then go drink water Eight: I can't, I'm fasting Adam:...Well I think you're supposed to drink water if you're running around all the time Eight:...

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Perfect 10 day! I do appreciate how most of my shows are actually spread out right now, rather than the Fri/Sat tsunami that we were getting at one point.

Ah, ok, so we did not get episode 5 sex. Just some mild foreplay.

To give him credit, considering where Arm is emotionally right now, it's not a terrible idea to still give things time.

Side note - Force being able to handle Book's jump on him without losing balance is hella impressive, Book is not a small boy!

Aw, Arc wanting to help Arm have better memories of the ocean is actually very sweet.

Lol, the robes with the sneakers.

Hmm, it's interesting the way they are both talking about the bracelet. Clearly they would both be really upset if the other didn't want to keep it going, but there's also this dancing around it, because Arm doesn't want to go there emotionally yet, and Arc doesn't want to scare Arm with the depth of his feelings.

Heh, not the text immediately reinforcing what I just said.

Arm coming in and doing the equivalent of "we need to talk about meeeeee"

which is why I love shows like this, because the friendship stuff is always A+. Po and Sand are immediately, "tell us all about it poor baby".

These little idiots. They already knew Arc liked Arm!

Oh these thirsty bitches fishing for details.

Gawin, if you are going to keep showing up looking so saucy, I'm gonna need your series right now, k thnx bye.

(Seriously, anyone else increasingly losing their mind over the idea of watching this man get chomped on by vampire Joss?)

Ha, Pond immediately getting what Arc is trying to do because of his own flirtation.

Omg, please tell me this is a Chekhov's gun for Warm clicking with someone at some point!

Also did Copp sound a little pointed in his criticism there to anyone else? Or just wishful thinking?

Hmm, bringing in these "buddies". I'm sure this will lead to no drama whatsoever.

Well, from the size of him, probably a lot of super nourishing food!

Haha, I do love those moments where you can tell Arm wants to act annoyed, but can't help being pleased.

There is no logical reason for Arm to have taken the assignment out of his bag in Arc's car, but I love it anyway. College fantasy romance is adorable.

A-ngun has Arm's number. Love that she is 1) super cool about him and Arc, and 2) being a cute teasing friend to Arm.

Look at our smitten baby!

Oh, Po. We've all been there baby. Some of us quite a lot.

Not Sand backing up Po about how nice his house walls are. I love this dork so much.

Ahhh, more PondSand flirting, pleeeeeease.

Ok, which GMMTV star is going to be our mysterious player?

Why do I feel like the director had trouble reining in Book, Poon, and JJ sometimes, lol? These little chaos monkeys.

Ok, I knew it was coming and the cut still made me laugh.

I do appreciate that Arc is not mad. I feel like an old school college BL would have him drag Arm home. Here he's just emphasizing he wants him safe, but there's no anger or manipulation to it.

Oh Arm, you little dummy. But you know Arc is living for this.

But also where is Pond?! I need him to do some Sand caretaking.

I am such a sucker for these sweet little moments.

All of them are such dummies, but such cute ones.

Lol, Po out here speaking truth, we appreciate our boy.

Ha, and once again, Po being super relatable.

Huh, I never noticed before that Force and Gawin are pretty much the exact same size. It's so clear in their uniforms next to one another.

Ugh, not the hashtags. People need better hobbies.

Omg, the noise I just made out loud!

I love that Arc is immediately like "well, fuck". Yep, that is one pretty, pretty man.

This is all very typical college BL stuff, but I'm still having a good time. It's light and silly, and doesn't stress me out. Comfort tv has its place.

[shockinglyangel]

THE SLYTHERIN BOYS REACT TO YOU PIERCING THEIR EARS

NOT PROOFREAD

DRACO

Draco threw himself back on the bed, his hand loosening his tie as he tried to calm himself down. "it hurts!"

You rolled your eyes and grabbed the next needle, trying to pull the boy back up with his shirt. "You said you wanted them done, malfoy"

He whinced dramatically as he sat back up, his face scrunched and eyes watering.

You grabbed him by his arm and pushing the next needle into his ear, immediately placing the piercing in as quick as possible before draco's dramatics took place.

You watched in boredom as he fell back onto the bed, his hand finding his ear as he rolled around.

"jesus christ Draco."

THEO

You slapped theo's arm as he leaned back down to the floor to grab his drink. "For the love of god, will you stay still."

Theo rolled his eyes and shoved the drink into your face. "I'm thirsty!"

You huffed and continued making his earlobe, your tongue poked out in concentration.

You were soon interrupted by Theo outstretching his tongue into his glass.

"What are you doing now?"

His eyes looked at you with guilt and he placed his tongue back in his mouth, watching as you moved back slightly. "You told me to stay still."

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes to try to stay calm. "drink."

He smiled and placed the glass of water to his lips, drinking the smallest amount before placing it back down on the table.

You smiled as he sat still again, your hand going back to his ear to mark the spot another time, Theo deciding to bend over and grab his panini from the ground.

"THEODORE!!!"

BLAISE

He wouldn't let you do it.

(I also ran out of ideas)

MATTHEO

"This'll be a piece of cake." Mattheo smirked, leaning back so he was pushed against the side of your bed.

You smiled while grabbing the needle, your free hand cleaning his earlobe with the small wipe the kit had provided you with. "i'm sure it will."

You placed the needle to his ear, mattheo's head falling back onto the bed as he closed his eyes, his hands behind his head, he looked so peaceful.

"One, two." You pushed the needle into his ear on two, his body jilting as his eyes opened suddenly.

He sat himself up and watched to where the needle remained in his ear. "You bitch!" He got up and ran towards the mirror, his hand rubbing the redness.

"Don't call me a bitch!" You scoffed, walking over to him with the jewlery in your hand.

"That fucking hurt." He stared at his red, hot ear in his reflection.

You rolled your eyes and pushed the piercing into his lobe, him whining at the feeling, "pussy."

LORENZO

Lorenzo sat eagerly next to you, he'd been reading some muggle magazines and had found that men with ear piercings was currently beginning to become quite popular.

"I'm gonna look so hot." He smiled, his hands placed im his lap as he sat slumped forward, him watching in the mirror as you cleaned and marked the spot that you needed to pierce.

you nodded, placing the needle in his ear before pushing it in.

He went slightly before reciting the lyrics of his favourite song while taking deep breaths.

You were surprised with his reaction, pushing the piercing in. "He was surprisingly good." You raise your eyebrows to fix the piercing.

"I'm such a macho man." He turned to look at you with a loud smile on his face.

"A bit far, love. "You pursed your lips and smacked him lightly on the back, him staring at himself in the small handheld mirror in front of him.

TOM

You sat on Tom's bed, placed on bent knees with a slightly large needle in your hand "please." You pouted.

Tom shook his head, playing close attention to the parchment on his desk, scribbling something with a quill. "No."

You huffed and sat yourself back on his bed, your legs now crossed over. "I'll do that tongue thing you like." You smirked, tom stopping what he was doing and turning around.

He rolled his eyes and put the quill back in his holder, making his way over to you and sitting on the edge of the bed.

You bit your lip to hide your smile and climbed over to him.

He looked off into the distance, his eyes finding the green wall as you cleaned his earlobe. "You make me feel like a prositute."

You laughed lightly, placing the needle on his his ear. "good, you're gonna look like one with this earring."

You pushed the needle into his lobe, him turning to look a dead expression. "don't say that."

[cocogum]

Let’s TALK about episodes 9 and 10 people… (part 1)

PART 2 : HERE

(‼️SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4‼️)

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If you thought episodes 7 and 8 had so much to talk about (cuz I sure did), then episodes 9 and 10 destroyed my mind.

….

I am so tired.

We begin with a small recap of what happened last episode and it’s honestly very nice and heartwarming of Ankama to remind us that Yugo will get his ass handed to him in a few minutes.

BRO LOOK AT HOW THEY’RE DRAGGING HIM ON THE DIRTY FLOOR LIKE THAT!!

The level of disrespect these thirsty hoes have for him is immeasurable. Even if Yugo’s not a kid, the fact that the necromes didn’t hesitate to tie him up like that and sacrifice him like a lamb is jaw-dropping. It really makes you understand that they don’t give a shit if you’re an actual kid, they will hang you up like a roast beef for dinner.

Bro’s asking as if he just got here.

Also, how do you think that fall must’ve felt like? Cuz when Toross yeets him, Yugo takes a massive fall only to get his body slammed into the pavement when he gets tied up.

He gets to fall even faster because of the stasis ropes pulling him down too.

You can even hear the loud slam when he hits it. That must’ve hurt like a bitch.

Btw I love how even after all that, Adamaï and Amalia still don’t trust Qilby even when he saved them from the necrome world.

Adamaï thinks he was an idiot for not using the eliatrope Dofus and…he’s right? Cuz my guy…ur scared of ruining things if you use the dofus but what are you gonna ruin in a place WHERE THERE’S NO WAKFU????

Sometimes I can’t tell whether or not that guy’s okay in his head. Like is he blind or something? You can clearly tell that the necrome world is completely deserted and has no actual life, Amalia even CONFIRMS IT for you, Toross is literally using his dofus in his world of nothing, AND it’s also literally known as the gods’ garbage bin.

No wonder you get slapped around so much, you’re stupider than Yugo!!

I never in my life thought that I’d eventually get to see Qilby booping Amalia’s nose.

And I don’t know if I should like it or if I should fear it.

Man literally booped her as if she was a kid. But then again, he IS a millennial years old so it would explain why he’d treat her like a fetus.

In a way, he really CAN see her as a kid who doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.

But like-

I never imagined this happening???? Not even in a trillion chances 😀😀

BUT WHAT CONFUSES ME EVEN MORE IS THIS :

I get that Amalia annoyed him when she said he STILL couldn’t be trusted but what do you mean by “artificial”??? I’m still confused about that.

MY QUEEN NORA AND HER GAY ASS IS BACK WITH HER SHENANIGANS GURL WE SEE U !!

You can’t tell me this scene ain’t gay 😭😭

The way she grabbed her was so sudden, it made my heart jump!! And Amalia just goes with it like a damsel in distress being protected by her knight 🥰🥰 My noramalia senses detected that shit from a mile away, you ain’t getting away!!!

That torture scene tho should’ve taken longer ngl. But Okoo being the kid that they are decided “hell nah”. It’s still a shame really but at least we got what we needed.

Also, lemme just say something about this torture scene real quick.

Not only does Yugo get sucked the living out of him, but he just got BODY SLAMMED FROM AT LEAST 290 FEET on LITERAL PAVEMENT so now his back is completely obliterated, he keeps CONVULSING, TWITCHING, and GETS HIS BONES BREAKING TO GROW LONGER ONES-

He’s feeling all that WHILE getting sucked to death. My god. I wanted to see more of that.

The only reason why he didn’t turn out ballistic was cuz Oropo was keeping him busy in his head. He literally told him that he’ll make him fight just to not think about it.

And even though Oropo does hate him (but calmed down a bit once he reunited with Yugo), he told him that even he doesn’t deserve all of this. Can you imagine the one who caused so many calamities and was ready to kill the gods because he hates you telling you that even you don’t deserve this?? It just shows how kinky this Toross guy is.

[sluttyl0s3rs]

“Skating is a lifestyle man..not for everyone.”

Summary: You and Clyde go on a late night skating session

Warnings?!: mentions of drugs,fluff,mention of blood,mention of Adult magazines.

Parings: Clyde x rebel fem reader

Note: I have NOT watched this movie, so don’t be mad if it’s not accurate.

Clyde was at home reading porno with music blaring in the background as he smoked weed. There was a loud knock on his door that caught him off guard ,as he looked at the window hearing another loud knock. As he slowly got up grabbing the bat next to his bed as he slowly approached the window until he heard…

“Come on b*tch boy let me in!!” You said pounding on the window with your skateboard in the other hand.

As Clyde went to go open the window ,with the bat in his hand.

“Were you seriously about to swing on me with a bat?” You asked

“If I needed to I guess.” He said slightly embarrassed

As you came in the window, putting down your skateboard and flopping on his bed. As you see his porno on his bed.

“Ew, you were fucking reading this cheap shit?” You asked jokingly

“I wasn’t reading it you dumbass, I was browsing. What are you doing here anyways, it’s 2 fucking am.” He said snatching the porno away from you.

“Oh shit right, wanna go skate?” You asked getting up from his bed.

“Skate?! It’s 2 fucking am.” He said with a confused look

“And?”

“Let me go grab my board.” He said leaving his room.

As he left you in the room, you saw the blunt on his bed and grabbed it putting it to your mouth. Clyde came back in the room with his skateboard but, he was looking for something.

“Whatcha looking for bitch boy?” You say with the blunt in your mouth.

“You fucking bitch, why did you steal my blunt?!”

“I was thirsty.” You said not thinking much about it

“What.”

As you shrugged. “We gonna go or not grandma?”

“Yeah yeah whatever let’s go.”

As you and Clyde went out the front door and, started to skate down the road. While you and Clyde were skating down a quiet road you saw a liquor store.

“Want a slushy?” You asked Clyde

“Fuck it.”

As you and Clyde skated to the liquor store grabbing a slurpy and anything your high mind wanted.

You and Clyde went up to the cashier putting the stuff down on the counter.

“The total is $60.88 cents” the cashier said to you and Clyde

As you and Clyde stood there awkwardly.

“Where’s the money?” Clyde asked

“I’m broke.”

“Oh my fucking god.”

As you grabbed the stuff that you could fit into your arms ,and ran out the store not paying. As Clyde stood there for about five seconds before, grabbing the rest of the stuff and running out the door.

After, Clyde caught up with you on your skateboard.

“What the fuck was that!” Clyde said

“What? I was hungry.”

After you two made it to the skatepark ,you sat on the edge of a skate ramp eating your snacks. “You know I could have paid for it right?” Clyde said

“Yeah but, we got free food now so a win is a win.” You said eating one of the snacks you got. Clyde and you were now chilling as he had his head in your lap as you smoked a blunt. (If you don’t wanna smoke then you are eating some of your snacks)

“Babe” Clyde said

“Yea?” You looked down at him

“You smell like my girlfriend.”

“I am your girlfriend dumbass.”

“Oh.”

As you tried to open another snack, you cut open your finger and blood started to drip down your arm.

“Oh my fucking god, this won’t open.” You said still trying to open it but, this time with your teeth.

“I think you’re bleeding.” Clyde said being high as fuck. As you got the snack opened.

“Oh fuck yeah!” As you started to eat some. “Ew this shit sucks ass” as you threw the snack somewhere.

Clyde got up from your lap and drank some of his slushy.

“Babe.” Clyde said

“Yea?”

“Love you.” Clyde said

“Love you too loser.”

End of story. Just me yapping..

Heyyy, thank you guys for liking my other story. I take requests always and, I will try to write a story everyday because I find it fun. Anyways peace out

[flamingo-writes]

hey I had a request if that's okay

Could you do something about hobie being jealous of a guy who keep talking to their gf ( the reader ofc)? I feel like hobie would not be the type of guy who would be really jealous because he would know that at the end of the day it's him that gets to kiss you, but I still want to see what he would be like if he was.

English is not my first language, so sorry if there are spelling mistakes

Oooof Listen, this got me thinking on how exactly could Hobie be while jealous! Let’s goooo! I feel this would fit better as headcanons.

The Dopest Trip — Hobie x Reader

Title based off Pretty Fly (for a White Guy) by The Offspring.

Warnings: perhaps Hobie being a little bit too cruel.

Hobie isn’t by any means someone who gets jealous easily.

He’s confident, and he always speaks his mind.

And you’ve known each other for as long as you can remember, and having dating for a while now, the both of you always voiced your thoughts to each other.

Hobie could look at multiple guys try to flirt with you, and because he knew you, and he trusted you, he never felt jealous.

In fact, he’d sit back and watch how you epically rejected these guys, sometimes even scared them away by saying something completely weird and wild. He had fun seeing you behave like the absolute weirdest person to scare people off. Very rarely you’d say “oh I have a boyfriend” because the two of you knew that never worked.

Guys never gave a shit whether someone was single or taken, so saying you had a boyfriend was not a solution to get them off your back. So you turned into acting like a total freak to scare them away.

However there was this one specific guy who didn’t seem to get scared off by your wild comments and crazy acting.

This guy in particular pissed Hobie off.

Not because he was good looking, but he seemed determined to get into your pants. Even when you said the most fucked up shit, he wasn’t easily scared away. This guy simply pissed Hobie off because he was always flying around you like some annoying fly.

During a gig, — one in which Hobie wasn’t up on stage playing —, you were happily jumping and dancing. Taking a few pictures, Hobie towered behind you, mostly watching over you so you didn’t get pushed around, or accidentally being pushed into the mosh pit, or someone tried to grope you.

As one of the songs ended, you turned to Hobie and told him you were thirsty.

“I’ll go get us some water, babe,” He said into your ear as the music was still very loud.

In the three minutes he was away getting to bottles of water, he saw That Guy approaching you. His face flinched and turned sour as this guy was awfully close to you, clearly trying to touch you, while everything in your body language said: “don’t”

While normally he’d never interfere and just watch you deal with them on your own, this time Hobie would go up there and play the Boyfriend card.

Hobie walked up to you, kissed the top of your head while his eyes glared at the other guy. “Got your water, babe,” He said handing you the bottle. “Who’s this?” He asked in a sassy voice.

“Who—?” the guy asked. “Babe? You have a boyfriend?” He said looking up at Hobie as Hobie stood way taller than the other guy. “You never said you had a boyfriend!”

“She doesn’t owe you any explanations,” Hobie intervened before you could do it.

“Let’s go, Hobes, he’s not worth it…” You hissed trying to get away from the guy.

“You little bitch, I’ve been trying to get your attention this whole time, you telling me you had a boyfriend would’ve been good from the start!”

“What did you say?” Hobie asked.

“I have told you every single time you talk to me, that I am not interested and I do not want to hang out with you. If you can’t respect my own boundaries, I don’t think you’d respect me having a boyfriend!” You snapped.

Hobie walked up to the guy and grabbed him by the shirt as he pushed him against the closest door. While the guy was buffer —although shorter— than Hobie, Hobie was taller and simply stronger. His super human strength was perfectly hidden behind his lanky body. And as the guy tried to push him off, the horror began to sink in as he realised Hobie was actually stronger than him.

“You’re pathetic,” He growled, “either you are stupid enough to not understand the meaning of ‘not interested’, or you’re stupid enough to think that insisting will make girls like you. Got breaking news for you, mate; girls will not like you if you don’t take seriously what they say. That includes respecting their decisions and their rejection. So either man up, and learn to listen, or keep behaving like the pathetic street dog you are, and keep being rejected,”

“Fuck off, you wanker!”

Hobie let out a deep laugh before smashing the guy against the wall. “I’m not joking around here, you arse,” Hobie growled. “You do not go around harassing women, especially my girlfriend. Second, you do not call her a bitch, next time you do, I’m gonna make sure you regret every single second of your pathetic little life,” His eyes got colder and threatening, his grip tight, with his fists close to the guy’s face. “Third, if I see your stupid face anywhere near her, or if I see you making anyone uncomfortable, I’m also going to make you regret being born, do you understand me?”

The guy now scared with Hobie looked at him with wide eyes and nodded.

“Repeat what I just said,”

“I-I will stay away from your girlfriend…”

“What else?”

“Nor harassing women”

“Or what?”

“You’re gonna kick my ass,”

“Good,” Hobie hissed and let go of the guy.

As he turned around, he walked up to you, wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close. He pressed a kiss on your forehead as he glared at the guy, staring at him with such pettiness, the guy felt intimidated by Hobie.

“If that guy shows up his face around you again, tell me right away,” Hobie whispered as he gently grabbed you by the shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“I am. What happened?”

“Scared the living shit out of’im” Hobie said nonchalantly. “Told him if I saw him around you, he was gonna regret it…”

“Thank you, Hobie…”

“Anything for my girlie” He purred as he cupped your face and pulled you closer, kissing you sweetly.

[makeyoumine69]

Congratulations to 1k!!! You deserve it and even more:D

Well,after i read your smut,where Reader was top,i thought almost all night like:

If Patrick Bateman was sub and Reader was..how i can tell it without shy...sexual sadist,dominant,charasmatic bitch,which will say all sorts of her dirty thoughts while they are fucking. Prefer fem,but only if you want tho. I just cant stop thinking about Pat has S/O,who can compete with him in dominance and horny as hell-

— A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for your request, I hope you like it!💗

— [MASTERLIST] 🪓 [1k CELEBRATION MASTERLIST] 🪓 [support] 🖤

"Yes! Ah...fuck y-yes!" your loud, shameless moan made Patrick's thick cock throb in your womb as you rode him hard, pressing him down with your succulent hips. "Mmhhm...your dick feels so good, SO FUCKING GOOD!"

"(Y/N), baby..." Bateman whimpered as he tried to grab your waist and take the lead, but you brushed his hands away. "I'm so c-close! Please..."

"Aww, that's so sweet of you to beg me," you cooed with him, pushing two digits into his heated mouth. "Open it!"

Patrick hesitated for a moment, but then submitted and began to suck on your graceful fingers.

"You should see yourself, Bateman," you glanced down at his flushed face, then raised your eyes to look around his fancy bedroom. "God...you were so pathetically needy that we didn't even make it to your bed," you slowed down the pace, rolling your hips against his solid ones and leaning on his perfect abs. "So I had to fuck you right on the floor!"

Patrick only moaned in response, especially when you added one more finger, shoving them deeper into his mouth, almost harshly.

"Mmm... I'm mm-gonna cum!" The way he was trying his best to pronounce something clearly made you laugh, and you couldn't help but rock back and forth on his dick — the friction was too intense, but you kept yourself in balance as you wanted him to cum first.

"Do you think you were a good boy enough to let you cum?" You asked him, pulling your fingers out of his mouth and wrapping your hand around his shaky throat.

"Mmmm...yes!"

"Are you sure?" You drew closer to his burning lips and stopped moving, causing a pitiful whimper to erupt from his massive chest.

"What do you w-want me to do?" His hot breath was almost scorching, but you stayed still, squeezing his cheeks and leaving a wet trail of small hickeys along his neck.

A devilish smile flashed across your face as you came up with the idea of what exactly you wanted him to do.

"Oh boy, since you're so obedient, I'll tell you what I want," you murmured, getting up only to change your position, so now you were facing his blushing cock and giving him an astonishing view of your dripping slit. "I want you to use your mouth properly," wiggling your ass slightly, you turned around to give him a cheesy smile. "You want that pussy, baby boy?"

"Yes," he didn't wait for your permission, and you gasped once you felt his puffy lips encircle your pulsating little bud. "Mmm, cum all over my face," Patrick was so fucking thirsty, lapping at your cunt like a hungry kitten. "I want to drink you dry so fucking bad...mhhm!"

Bateman couldn't hold back a low growl as you pressed your hips closer to his face, silencing him and forcing his beefy shaft to twitch in your hands as you pumped it vigorously before taking it inside. Skillfully, you sucked him off and rubbed his heavy sac. This little whiny bitch didn't last long, so you let him explode into your mouth, because you were in a good mood. Although Bateman was so fucking dazed from the huge orgasm, he didn't stop licking, sucking and devouring your luscious pussy, and soon you joined him in the ocean of ecstasy, pinning his head to the floor with all your might.

God, Patrick was such a perfect fucktoy, and maybe he was even more than that, but right now it didn't matter.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Drunk Sephiroth

@snowbanshee Asked: So it's Christmas party, loud and decadent, already bringing out the worst in some of the attendees. The pink coloured drink in a festive bowl seemed to be quite an attraction, people flocking from every corner of the spacious, generously decorated hall to have their fill.

He didn't know better. Maybe his senses failed him, lulled by the sweet scents of berries. Maybe he simply had nothing to compare it to.

So for the first time in his lifetime, and very much against his will, the Silver Demon of Wutai, the legendary war machine found himself in a remote corner of the buzzing hall, his cheeks pink, his gaze unfocused, and his thoughts a mess. That punch... was an alcoholic drink?

• Sephiroth walks back and proceeds to lift the punch bowl and then drain it like it's a glass of water and he has been thirsty for three lifetimes.

• People look on in horror as he becomes soaked in the drink. Sephiroth gives no fucks. This pink stuff is delightful.

• He slams the punch bowl down and unintentionally shatters it. Then he stumbles off to go find Genesis and Angeal.

• Having witnessed the whole ordeal, Reno grabs a bottle of rum from the table and rushes after him. He taps Sephiroth on the shoulder.

Reno: Yo! Take this!

• Sephiroth barely registers who's he's talking to. He grabs the bottle, pops it open, then downs it in one go before handing it back to the Turk.

Sephiroth: Thanks.

• He leaves.

Rude: Why would you do that?

Reno: This party's boring. That'll be sure to spice things up!

• Sephiroth, dizzy as shit, manges to find them and immediately dangles from Genesis's shoulder.

Sephiroth: Hey Genesisssss

Genesis: *sniff sniff* GODDESS MINERVA AND MOTHER GAIA THIS MAN'S BREATH CAN INCINERATE A VILLAGE.

Angeal: Sephiroth! did you drink?

Sephiroth: Oh, I c o n s u m e d.

• He loses balance and falls on top of Angeal and Genesis.

Angeal: Okay buddy, we need to get you home.

Genesis: No, we need to get him water.

Angeal: Good thinking. You go do that.

• Genesis leaves in pursuit of anything non-alcoholic.

Sephiroth: Fuck.

Angeal: WOAH.

Sephiroth: Fuck bitches get money.

Angeal: Sephiroth.

• Sephiroth leans in really close, grabs Angeal by the collar and whispers: Ass.

• Genesis bounces back to them. He shoves a tall glass of a clear liquid in Sephiroth's hand.

Genesis: Here, drink up.

• Sephiroth drowns the contents of the glass in one go, then gives the glass to Angeal, who wrinkles his nose and brings the glass closer to smell it.

Angeal: *sniff sniff* GENESIS!

Genesis: WHAT!?

Angeal: THIS IS VODKA!

Genesis: I PANICKED AND GRABBED THE FIRST THING I SAW.

• They turn around and Sephiroth is nowhere to be seen. Angeal starts panicking.

Genesis: Relax! It's Sephiroth. What real trouble could he possibly get into?

• The once respectable party turned into a nightclub with flashing neon lights and a clear dancefloor.

• This happened after Sephiroth lost all articles of clothing save for his pants and proceeded to give (drunk) Rufus ShinRa a lap dance.

• All hell broke loose after that.

• No one knows where the pole came from.

• No one knew Director Lazard knew how to work the pole either but the night is full of surprises.

• Genesis is having people do body shots off him.

• Angeal lost his composure after someone brought out barrels filled with alcohol and Banora Whites so people could so apple bobbing.

• Reeve coordinated a drunk human pyramid and Sephiroth was at the top. Hojo appeared to try and grab Sephiroth to preserve his creation's dignity. He backflipped off the top and landed on top of Hojo.

• Turks vs. SOLDIER drinking match. Genesis and Reno got into a who's the better redhead fight. Lots of trash talk. Cissnei and Elena put eyeliner and Glitter on Sephiroth.

• Sephiroth interrupted Genesis's time on the pole to show him how it's done. He may or may not have performed to Lovegame by Lady Gaga.

• And then He blacks out.

• Every department has hungover zombies roaming it's halls.

• The SOLDIER floor in particular is straight out of The Walking Dead. Zack wished Director Lazard good morning and got an supernatural moan in response.

• Meanwhile Sephiroth is chipper as he strides into the conference room with a coffee cup in hand.

• Angeal and Genesis look up from their fetal positions.

Genesis: What...what in the goddess's name. You're not hungover?

Sephiroth: I was never drunk to begin with.

Angeal & Genesis: HUH!?

Sephiroth: It's a quirk I have from the way I developed. Alcohol doesn't work for me like it does for average SOLDIERs.

Angeal: THEN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?

Sephiroth: Oh, I was bored.

Angeal:

Genesis:

[sol-consort]

Oh yeah, this fandom is like dead dead. Which is a shame because the thirst potential alone is *chef's kiss*. Anyways. I remembered what I wanted to talk about with Kaidan+biotics, but it's too long for me to formulate properly rn, so have a thirsty thought instead:

I want to ride Kaidan until he is dry orgasming and mindless from overstimulation, not used to 1. having a partner this giving 2. said partner being so giving he is almost passing out from it. Not to mention the uncontrollable buotic bursts he emits with each roll of their hips.

And then I want to lovingly pamper him and whisper praises to him as he is trying to wrap his head around the fact he just got fucked within and inch of his life without having to lift a single finger. Is this what heaven feels like?

I had not-shepard!s/o in mind for this, but it could swing that way too tbh

Then grab a shovel anon and meet me at the graveyard because we are reviving this bitch, anyone who has any Mass Effect unfulfilled desires please come and form a line, we offer complimentary cookies.

I usually don't tag my drabbles with the main fandom tags but this is a special case and the fandom is already dead so I might as well take over like a fungi growth.

Also when you said non Shepard my heart shattered into a million pieces, but oh well, non Shepard it is.

Kaidan feels like the pampering service king type in bed, the one who'd spend hours eating you out or fingering you just to get you ready. Ignoring his own throbbing cock leaking below.

That's why flipping this script on him would get such a strong reaction.

Like always when you bring him into the bedroom, he's immediately on you and trying to get you undressed, to get your needs fulfilled with the sweetest smile on his face.

But you just push him down on the bed instead, telling him to keep his arms above his head as you take off his clothes. Trailing kisses down his body as he squirms, pampering his skin with your lips and soft touches.

Reaching his cock, you give a small lick and his his jump out. He's clearly as surprised by his needy reaction as you, not expecting himself to be so sensitive.

So you continue with the soft licks, using your hand to cup below his cock gently and giving the head all of your attention.

He's so close, it hasn't been much time but he's already spilling his cum down your throat with the sincerest apologies.

What he thinks is the end of this encounter, is only the beginning as you straddle his hips. Fingering yourself and putting on a show for him as you rub his cock with your other hand. Driving him into intense painful pleasure.

By the time it's finally inside you, he's so on the edge that it takes one pump into your soft insides before he's spilling his cum again. A loud cry followed by the shaking of his strong arms that he has kept above his head.

You feel a tingling sensation of electricity when you start moving, a reminiscent of the feeling of his biotic shield. The constant pleasure melting his brain is confusing his biotics and allowing a satisfying feeling of a buzzing electricity to slip through every now and then.

He feels so good inside you, his own cum easing the way for his cock to thrust in and out as you ride him to your heart's content. And like the good boy he is, he lets you use his cock and drown him in pleasure.

After an hour or two, there are dry tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. Poor face flushed with a constant needy look of being fucked out. Another orgasm is being forced out of him by your expert hips and he embraces it, lets it drive through him in waves and send his biotic parts into a momentary frenzy.

But nothing comes out, his cock has nothing more to offer as you milked all the cum out of him. Even as he's given on orgasm after another, he ran out of cum to offer back.