#[i want to develop him more but mmm commitment]

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm having a time of it where i couldn't look at screens very much, so i haven't been watching or posting as much about m*a*s*h, but you'd better believe that has left me even more time to THINK about m*a*s*h!!!

buckle up: update for season four disc one!

(after welcome to korea, that is, which was another post)

headline: LOVE the new characters!!

bj has somehow already committed arson?? hawkeye, you are SUCH a bad example for your little brother

at some point down the line i'm sure i will stop infantilizing this grown ass man but for now literally everything bj does i'm like. that's a Baby.

especially when he participates in a bit where they're going after frank or margaret, who he literally just met

you know when there's like a ten-year-old with a strong opinion about something, like "that [toy, tv show, video game] SUCKS!" with all the rage and feeling in their world-weary heart

... and then one step behind them is the five-year-old who chimes in "yeah that REALLY sucks!" but with this innocent delight in their eyes, like they have no idea what's going on but they're getting a really good grade in Big Kid

that's BJ, is what i'm saying

and colonel potter! he's regular army!! but it's ok: he drinks

it's soooo perfect that he and bj share their first o.r. scene. the sweet calming mentor energy... i'm luv him.

and then HE SHOOTS THE DEAD JEEP. i'm still laughing about that. if colonel potter never does one more funny thing again he's still the funniest man alive.

meanwhile! we join our established characters already in progress

frank and hawkeye's relationship gets genuinely hostile there for a while. uncomfortably so, even.

and during the week i was too dizzy to sit up and make this post i spent a LOT of time thinking about this!!!

each of them are spinning out for their own reasons, which play out all over this season so far. frank gained and lost the power he wanted so badly. hawkeye lost both his besties at the same time, and the support structure and identity that went along with that.

but also trapper's absence on its own radically changed the swamp boys dynamic!!

frank has always been justifiably hateable, but there was a SPORT to it, you know? hawkeye and trapper were tormenting him largely to entertain each other, which means they did it a lot but only to the point where it was funny

and think about the "but there's no real hate, right?" in O.R., like in frank's mind, they torture him but they're all still buddies!!! (and the occasional peek into frank's sad childhood could explain this perception)

it quickly becomes clear in season 4 that trapper was a tempering influence between hawkeye and frank, who end up in a full on BRAWL

LIKE A DRAWN OUT PHYSICAL FIGHT

also hard to watch: frank wrecking margaret's tent. hmm. mm-mmm. don't like this.

on the other hand, i loved the "i'm here but we're not doing anything!" scene in the next episode when they're playing cards in her tent. they're always slapping or kissing or scheming -- i feel like this is the first time we ever see them just hanging out like friends

… with anyone, actually. like this thirty seconds of a card game just unlocked an unseen part of both their personalities

something subtle is shifting in this relationship. by the end of "the kids," even sober-margaret is getting in on the joke that frank sucks. i await future developments.

THE KIIIIIIIIIIDS

oh god it's so sweet and harmless. it's healing. i love it. i want to roll around in that episode.

i hope "frank scams a purple heart and hawkeye steals it" continues to happen every season, like the mail episodes

i learned that alan alda directed this ep, which means that he made the decision both in front of and behind the camera for hawkeye to make this face as bj tells a bedtime story:

hawkeye!!!! don't fall in love with straight boys!!!!!

other things:

I'M STILL GRIEVING BY THE WAY

THEY CROPPED MY BOY OUT OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE

THEY CROPPED HIMMMMMM

henry blake memorial bar we hardly knew ye 😢

the moment when hawkeye is like yeah bj, just to get you up to speed: henry was basically radar's dad

any time they mention henry or trapper i have feelings but ALSO i have feelings whenever i think maybe they could have mentioned them but didn't. mentioned them IN MY HEART.

i'm a little fixated on the choice to replace henry and trapper, notorious philanderers, with characters who are immediately identified as Wife Guys

genuinely if y'all hadn't told me that mclean stevenson and wayne rogers wanted out, i would have assumed the character shakeup happened specifically for that reason!

totally other topic but i'm definitely missing some kind of joke here and it's driving me nuts: every time a british character shows up they're heavily spray-tanned. what does it meeeeaaaan??

and lastly. best part of "the bus" is the knowledge that somewhere off-screen, margaret, klinger, and the nurses are running the camp.

[variousqueerthings]

THE TIME THE DOCTOR WAS IN A COMMITTED TRIAD WITH HIS COMPANIONS FOR A FEW MONTHS

power of three here we goooo. we are now ONE episode out from the final Amy and Rory episode, and what we have learned is that there are now two episodes that could function as the last episode for them

and where does it rank?

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 8/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 7/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 8/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 8/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 8/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 8/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 7/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 9/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 7/10

FULL RATING: 77/100 (if I can count….)

well wouldya look at that... Chibnall can write something that doesn't make me want to claw my eyes out (but in all seriousness Dinos on a spaceship reads like half his episode and half M*ffats)

OBJECTIFICATION: Amy is a person. Everything is pretty chill. also Kate Stewart is introduced and is in personality so very different from M*ffat type characters

PLOT-POINT: this one features some lovely bits between Amy and the Doctor where he acknowledges her having moved beyond needing him as much as he needs her, and generally is just quite a nice little breather on Amy's story to this point

it has one of my favourite little moments between them

Amy: the travelling is starting to feel like running away The Doctor: I’m not running from things, I’m running to them before they flare and fade forever. But it’s alright, our lives don’t run the same. They can’t. one day… soon maybe, you’ll stop Amy: Then why do you keep coming back to us? The Doctor: Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you’re seared onto my hearts […] I’m running to you and Rory before you fade from me

this also matters in terms of Character/Lore/Plot, but I just like what it says about Amy as well, how far she's come in her story

COMPLEXITY: mmm so it... kiiiind of struggles to validate why the cubes needed so long to activate, but I can forgive it, because in the end it's all just a conceit to get the Doctor to earth for a bit to hang out with the Ponds in their lives

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: Amy and Rory have Lives, the Doctor feels very lonely, they're off for a final adventure, and that above speech that ties it all together in such a lovely way!

AND UNIT reappears (apparently at Chibnall's request, I was wondering why it wasn't in a M*ffat episode, but thank goodness because Kate Stewart might have been insufferable then, rather than lesbian-coded)

COMPANIONS MATTER: yeah, this is a good Amy and Rory episode, they're both being capable in each their own way (Amy in the action, Rory going back to his nurse roots and helping with crises points)

I had a Moment that I initially wasn't sure about, where the Doctor dismisses Rory's job as a nurse as unimportant, because I think the Doctor would think it's important, but I think it's saying way more about the Doctor's wanting to not let them go than actually being a real commentary on his life being "better"

Amy also restarts the Doctor's left heart with a defibrillator

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor is at the center of this, but... Emotionally! and it's about the Doctor and the Ponds, and the Doctor being vulnerable and the like so. yeah, good stuff on the whole

he does solve the issue at the end without any great hassle, but again, it's not really about that, it's about polyamory

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: they brought back UNIT. and mentioned Lethbridge-Stewart! I think it's fair not to do too much legwork, since they brought back UNIT in s4. but yeah, it's fun to have some of that!

they also mention Zygons

aaaand they mention that some companions die: Some left me, some got left behind and some – not many, but some – died. Not them. Not them, Brian. Never them

I do want to note that this is very similar to bits and pieces Ten confessed, but only after serious Shit's Gone Down and to someone who's very close to him

I can accept that Eleven is more able to be emotionally vulnerable than Ten

“SEXINESS”: yeah, we're pretty good on this too!

INTERNAL WORLD: Amy and Rory live in London now (as of The God Complex). we see more of their friends and job (Amy allegedly has one "writing travel logs"? but it's never talked about really, but Rory is still a nurse) and Brian returns. it's better than previous Stuff, you do get a sense that they're living their lives

POLITICS: there's not much of that going on in this one really. I guess I'm consistently wary of UNIT (and am on my classic!who watch as well), because whether or not they're centering science like they say, they're still very much a military operation, but eh, that's a bit nitpicky for this episode

FULL RATING: 77/100 (if I can count….)

soooooo this episode rates pretty highly on the whole. it's mainly there for the Amy&Rory&The Doctor Stuff and it isn't bad at that

it's not the most "exciting" of episodes but it doesn't have to be. it's a nice little ending on the whole to their narrative

ALSO Most Episode Title of the era, in that "the power of three" refers to Amy, Rory, and The Doctor -- polycules are just stronger!

however, there is still one episode left!

[youmarin]

"The Smile Has Left Your Eyes" rant.

*Spoilers below*

Gotta get it off my chest. Mostly bc I hurt for Kim Moo Young .

I read the series summary and I was like, "Mmm okaaay there's gonna be trauma here." To be honest I didn't think grandly of him during the first episodes. Actually I didn't know what to think of Kim Moo Young. A very goodlooking mf who's a loner. He grew in an orphanage after the incident and well he seemed to care for the nuns there but that was it. He didn't let anyone close or felt anything for anyone (the closest thing before things developed was that coworker of his but even they didn't appear too close to be called friends? idk).

Until he overheard that conversation between Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang, he didn't seem to do stuff that would make him go out of his way. He seemed to be looking to entertain himself even at the cost of other people's well being. That was because he normally was numb minded. He didn't understand people's behaviour, like for example, why people "had" to do things they didn't really want to do. So when he taunted Seung Ah (even though it must've been uncomfortable. I felt like that watching it), I thought, "He's being quite an asshole, but maybe that's his way to try and help her step up for herself?". Think about it, things are never as easy as just saying it. She thought she couldn't get herself out of that situation but Moo Young didn't see things like that. He saw things differently. And so he was like, "If you don't wanna do it then don't." Simple as that.

Seung Ah fell for Moo Young because of that. And I don't think she really loved him either. She was clinging to him to escape her own life, one that was mostly decided for her and that she didn't want. (Plus they've "known" each other for like 2 months. C'mon.)

Still at this point, Moo Youngs motivations regarding Seung Ah were obviously messed up. "I wanted to know what drives a rich girl.", the whole bunch of lies, working up people for the fun of it. I wasn't a fan. He really gave an uneasy feeling (and with that face too. I was like, "Damn he's so fine but something's really wrong with him. Can't say I like him but I don't unlike him" lmao). And all that game got two people killed (which of course he didn't plan on it to end like that, and it was her fiancé, speeding and being drunk off his ass that didn't even bother to press the breaks before they crashed. ). But feeling nothing over it? Something's up up there in his head.

Same with Lim Yu Ri. He keeps her from ending her life and she catches feelings (he collects broken girls and broken girls love him 💀). He learns she's on a tough spot with another girl who's extorting her. And he intervenes again and helps someone who's also clearly not in her right mind to commit murder. Moo Young stands and watches. And then goes and cleans it up. ( 🚩❗)

Seung-Ah's and Jeong Mi Yeon's death were not his doing. Directly. But he did stuff that lead to that end. And still, no remorse, no guilt. Nothing. Again, technically he didn't do it so why would he feel those? But well, any other person would, wouldn’t they?

It's understandable and logical for Jin Gook to be a worried brother and not want Jin Kang near him. Oh but wait! Jin Gook might know the guy! From way back when he was a little boy! He's aware of the great possibility that Moo Young might be actually the son of a criminal he accidentally shot to death more than twenty years ago. And that Jin Kang and Moo Young's pasts are linked. But Jin Gook is scared for Jin Kang and more scared for himself to face the past and burst the bubble he's been trying to keep for so long (though it's still eating him alive).

Unfortunately for him, Jin Kang falls in love with Moo Young and for her, Moo Young decides to try an be a good person and stop acting as he had been until then. With her help.

"Promise me you'll be a good person." "Then teach me."

And he starts getting curious again about the past he'd forgotten about thanks to (funny, huh) the car crash he was in with Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang. And what does Jin Gook decides to do? Stab. the. guy. A police officer. Oh and after calling Moo Young a murderer, a devil and everything he could come up with. Talking big when he had also killed someone (be it an accident, that the person was a murderer and that he might've ended up sentenced with death anyway, it doesn't take away that he killed someone).

And then everyone at the station being normal about it?? "Oh there was no report." Nobody investigated shit. Tak So Jung saw the footage and still did shit about it. But that also lead to Moo Young seeking the doctor (the doctor who let go an amnesic 7 year old boy from a hospital alone to who knows where with nobody to take care of him. Just relying on chance, "Maybe it'll be better". Like some sort of study subject.).

More questions were brought to Moo Young. The only thing the doctor could tell him was that his father fell to his death. But he knew that wasn't it because every time that the memory came he saw and heard a gun fired. So he goes to where they say his father died, finds his house (that scene when he's inside the house and the memories come back full force that he falls to the ground. Ok, kill me now that was so intense.) And he finds out that his girlfriend's brother is his father's killer. Now, how can he tell her that?

He goes back, he's angry, he has to know the rest. He breaks into Jin Gook and Jin Kang's house. Finds an old missing child poster with his picture in it. Then he reaches out for help with Jang Woo Sang's older sister (from the people he got tangled with in the beginning and that Jin Kang had stopped him from getting involved with again. And Jin Kang had told him that those people were capable of anything. Honestly didn't get that woman's deal. She was really a bitch who loved nobody and loved toying with people. Girl, get a life won't you. Mind your business.) He asks for a gun and breaks in again into their house. When Jin Gook arrives he sees Moo Young's shoes in the entryway. And he admits that he shot his father. Moo Young asks why and tells him he ruined his childhood and family. But was he really going to shoot him? I don't know. I really want to believe he wouldn’t shoot him. Because Jin Gook is important to Jin Kang. And I know he said a couple of times "You're just you to me." Which basically I translate to "The hell with your brother." (plus he stabbed him. I have resentment over that lol. Like, what was the reason?).

But I'm glad we didn't see that happen (for Moo Young. The grudge again 💀). Later he finds out that the story he had made around his drawing, the sole clue he was left with for a long time was actually not true. His dad, who he thought had in a moment searched for him, was not a police officer (that was Jin Gook, in fact), it was a murderer. A murderer who killed his mom and two others (when I heard about the other two people that's when I realized, "Ok those are Jin Kang's parents" and the idea that popped into my head when Tak So Jung told Jin Gook "If that's the boy you were searching they can't be together.", that Jin Kang and Moo Young were siblings, was wrong. But they scared me for a sec. with that. I was like, "Hell nah I love SIG but what's up with his dramas always having smthn (the age gaps in Café Minamdang and High School King of Savvy? Mostly the Minamdang one. Don't get me wrong I still loved the shows but there was that fact that eek! Aand now incest? Pls no. And thank GOD it wasn't. Phew 😬😅😂)

Continuing, Moo Young feels disgusted (for someone who barely felt anything now he feels this great love for Jin Kang and is so troubled with all the things he's found out, and the things still left for him to know) and that it now makes sense his way of being. The Dr. tells him his past and his father's doing have nothing to do with him and that he's an example of that.

"You're just you."

The "I love you" text. She knew he was in pain.

"Are you really ok with who I am?" "I want to be born again." 🥺💔

"To be born again you have to live in a warm house. A warm house smells like warm rice."

And when she got burnt and he was so worried and it brought another piece of the puzzle of his memory. He and Jin Kang had been together all along.

(Also that scene of them comparing their scars? I was not okay.💔) "They look like a map. And we followed that map to get here."

But he got it wrong and believed they were siblings (also bc of that lying bitch of Jang Woo Sang's sister. Honestly I didn't think he'd believe her. He always was so "Don't trust people, people are nothing." So clever, used to lie and play around like that that I thought he'll ask for proof or something. But that was how he remembered it and well the bitch hadn't lied to him until that point so oh well) and couldn't tell Jin Kang because he loved her. But not the way a brother loves a sister. And how could he tell her that yes, your dad is the same as mine, a murderer who killed our mom and two more people. And even when he found out that thankfully they were not siblings he still didn't want Jin Gook to tell her anything because still the truth wasn't much better. His father killed her parents.

And then Kim Moo Young commited murder trying to protect Jin Kang when he didn't have to.

"I killed someone when I felt human the most."

Jin Kang unable to believe it and breaking down saying he couldn’t have done it, that he couldn’t even stand seeing a bird or a fish hurt. Because she knew him better than anyone. He truly was sensitive.

How Moo Young hugged Jin Gook (See that? No need for hurting him more, man.) Left him a note. Signed with his real name. 💔

"When I met Jin Kang I was able to breathe again." 😭

And when she pointed a gun to her forehead his façade vanished.

"Go back."

"To where? You've been there from the start."

The fucking ending. She made him admit that he wanted to live right before that mf came in and shot her first, that being the last thing he saw, breaking his heart one last time before he was shot and died too.

How she didn't get to say "I love you" back. He only got to say it while he was dying and she just texted it to him. And it was probably the first time he remembered ever saying it to someone. Like when Jin Kang asked him if he had ever really liked someone and he said, "you."

How in the beginning he was the one who looked over and treasured Jing Kang but no one looked over him for so long until she came around again years later without remembering him and finally showed him love.

(And how it was her voice now that woke him up from the nightmare/memory.)

I hated that they always kept Jin Kang in the dark. Like, tell her something pls. Enlighten the woman too. She died and never got to know the mess that made Moo Young break up with her. She missed so much. Trying to protect her that much ended bad.

How different would've been things maybe if Moo Young also had had someone like Jin Kang did. (?)

If Jin Gook had told them everything!!! Instead of being so against them. Moo Young made mistakes but he then tried (and it really showed in his eyes how he instantly regretted it when Jin Gook treated him like that. Because he wasn't doing it for him, he was doing it for Jin Kang.). And Jin Gook was always like, "You can start afresh" (even though he always carried his grief and regret but still, he tried to believe that but apparently that didn't apply to Moo Young or wtf).

Loved, loved, loved the scene when they first slept together, how full of love and how they couldn't help their laughter because of how happy they were at that momemt. All the times she squished his face. So cute hahah. And when he carried her inside his house. How she helped him make his house a home. He didn't even have a single glass because, what was the need for those things? He's the only one who's ever there.

And that scene when he's looking at the night sky and cries and Jin Kang appears there. "How didn't I know? There are so many beautiful things in the world." And then the shot shows him lying there alone. I don't have a heart anymore, this show stepped on it and shattered it. 💔 It was so sad but such a beautiful scene.

When she told her smthn like, I hope you always have things like plants to water and food you have to eat before it spoils and that those stuff cling to you and all that. For him to keep living and enjoying the simple things. Things that in the end they didn't have the chance to live for. 🥺🥲

Other stuff that ended me:

"You planted love in her heart". "I don't believe it but I hope it's true."

"You protected her with your tiny body." "Now I feel proud of my big, ugly scar." (And this got me thinking how he protected her back then and then she did the same and took the bullet for him. But in the end both got burned and both were shot 💔💔💔)

And the songs "Lost", "Star". Loved them. And "Hidden Memory" (again, that whole scene).

Anyways, great name. I have puffy eyes thanks to this drama. The smile left me eyes.

I'll edit this if something else comes up in my head later but I had to write all these so I can process what I just finished watching yesterday evening.

[bohemiansweede]

Let’s Leave

Fanfic

Pairing Roger Taylor & Brian May

Warning ⚠️ samesex

A/N Brian’s POV

Please like or comment or why not reblog

Thank you

Summers are quite busy within the Queen family

Us 4 boys have our birthdays with just a few weeks apart

So it became just natural for me and Roger to celebrate it together

Yes.. Us

It was well known by now that we belonged together

Some people around us even made a bet many years ago that we should even tie the knot

But we were not quite there... Yet

I took another glass of wine and continued to mingle around searching after Roger.

Where was he?

I wasn't at all into this kind of music, neither was Roger, I could see him in front of me making an eyeroll

But Freddie was convinced that we were continuing to go with the disco flow

John was dancing on one of the tables clearly drunk

Tonight we were at Freddies big house. He had invited his so called "fun friends", party animals, even strippers

But they didn't interest me at all, I didn't look at them

I just saw one person... HIM

I went in to the other room, then I saw him.. he was debating with our manager

His hair was messier than usual and he looked amazingly good in that suite

As he knew I was watching, he turned his head to my direction and fired of THAT smile

Oh boy.. I just wanted him.. Right there and then

I first got to know Roger 1968 and even though we had our differences we clicked

He was a charmer for sure

Keeping himself busy with every girl he layed his eyes on

Soon he saw Dominique and she trapped him in her web

I soon gaved him up, and decided to marry Chissie

We loved eachother it was no doubt, but something was missing..

HIM

Then a few years ago during a tour in South America, it happened

We kissed for the first time

Just like that

Neither of us were drunk or anything, it just like it was meant to be

Slowly we deepened our feelings into something more

We developed a mutual trust, love, commitment

We wanted to be with eachother so badly, even though it was a bit forbidden

People around us, media, they tolerated Freddie in a way, but we weren't that lucky

We had to keep it a secret

But soon our spouses saw that it was something between us, then our friends and then.. Media

And even though we were scared of what might happen, it never did

It seamed like everything was ok

Like they had just waited for it

Some even said

"It was about fuckin time"

- Brian?.. Are you daydreaming again?

I looked right into a pair of big blue eyes, framed by thick long lashes, the most beautiful eyes that I ever seen

- Roger...

He literally took my breath away

I wrapped him in my arms and kissed him deeply

My hand wandered down and cupped his peachy ass

- Mmm... Bri.. You are so handsy when you are drunk

- Uhu...

I could just agree

But it wasn't just from the alcohol

- You are making me this way Roger

His eyes beamed up at me and he licked his bottom lip

- Yeah?

I pulled him closer so he could feel my cock, eagerly stretching through the thin linenfabric

He moved his hips so he rubbed against me

His hands held around my neck and his calloused fingertips tickled my neck

- Rog... Let's leave

Then he kissed me quickly

- My impatient man... Soon

He winked and turned around for continuing his debate

That tease

- Hey.. Brian.. Why don't you go home.. You look like you need a shag

- God Freddie..

But he was right

I saw Roger go out for a smoke, I went after him

Leaning on the porch, waiting for him to return

- Hi Brian.. What are you doing out here?

- Waiting for you

He came closer and before I knew, he had wrapped his hand around my length

- You know you look so good standing here.. I could just...

- Just what... Take me?

He whined

He knew how much I like to be inside him, I desperately needed it, just as much as I wanted his mouth around my cock

Just like a little girl with pleading innocent eyes, he kneeled in front of me

I helped him to unbutton my pants

My knees weakened when his lips touched my veiny cock

- Shit... UHHHH..

I grabbed his hair and shoved my whole length inside his mouth

He gagged slightly but nodded as a sign to go on

Faster and faster my hips snapped and it wasn't long until I felt my seed building up inside me

He entered my ass with his finger, same time I came down his throat

- AHHH.. Fuck.. FUCK

He licked up and down my shaft, desperately collecting the remaining drops from me

I gave him my hand and helped him standing up

- Let's leave

He just shook his head

- Not yet Bri.. Soon

He amazed me once again by wanting to stay, I thought he wanted to go home

We walked hand in hand inside

We took a few drinks more and he just continued to tease me, he gave me looks and I really tried to shut it out

But soon my cock started to stir in my pants again

I went behind him and kissed his neck, breathed in his ear

- Let's leave

He puted his ass at me and pretended to not care

That was it

I took his hand and forced him with me

We went upstairs to one of the guest rooms that we had discovered before

He jumped when I almost slammed the door behind us

Before he even blinked I was all over him

I pulled in his shirt and he fumbled with my pants

His cock was rock hard and leaking in my hand, when I stroked him fast

His mouth was open and he looked at me with hooded eyes

He breathed faster and faster and soon I felt his warm seed in my hand

His legs almost crumbling under him

I kissed his nose

- Get on the bed.. Stand on all four

He nodded

His pants dropped to the floor and he did as I told him

There he was, with his perfect ass

My hand followed it and just nudged his hole.. teasing

- Brian.. Please

He didn't have to beg

I bent down and let my tounge lick around his opening

He pouted his ass even more at me

He muffled out a moan in the pillow as I took a grip around his hips

My cock was hard and ready, I couldn't wait any longer

Bit by bit I stretched him out until my entire length was in him

I moved slowly at first

But it wasn't long until my eager took over

I slammed into him deep and hard

My tip rubbed over his prostate over and over

Soon he started to shake

I took his upper body up against me and held him close

My tounge swirled in his neck, looking down and seeing him stroking his own cock, phanting fast and loud

- SHIT.. I'm coming Bri... I'm... AHHHH.. NOW

I wasn't far behind

I kissed his shoulder and trusted a few more times before I emptied myself inside him

- GOD ROGER... OHHHH GOD AHHHHHH

We scrambled ourselves up from the bed on shaky legs

I wrapped him into a hug and just breathed into his hair

His eyes were glossy when he smiled at me

The party was still ongoing when we returned

Without warning Roger bounced up on a stol

And cleared his throat

- Ladies and Gentlemen.. My friends

I have something to say… and no… I’m not pregnant

I swallowed a giggle and looked nervously around

He continued

- I'm going to do, something I should have done a long time ago

He looked at me and winked

- You all know I love this man here

He makes me a better man

He ruffled around in my curls and bounced back down on the floor

He took my hands and went on his knees again

All people in the room built a circle around us

I was lost for words

What on earth did he do?

- Brian May.. I love you so so much, with all my heart

Will you do the honour and marry me?

Everyone cheered

I took him in my arms and kissed him

Tears ran down on both our cheeks

-Yes... YES Roger.. I will

- Good.. Let's leave

Enjoy more reading in my master list

[raiokori]

me: hasn’t been active in like a year

also me: haha bad choices time who wants stinky two timing pro hero/villain pretty boy 

[deadbiwrites]

a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn’t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term. 

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

**

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual. 

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

**

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why? 

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”  

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?” 

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist. 

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

**

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh. 

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

**

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

 “Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-” 

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

**

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.

[capricornwriter5]

Always on time - Chapter 8

Pairing: Jooheon x female OC

Genre: childhood friends to enemies, enemies to friends, friends to lovers, smut (later chapters), fluff, angst, slow burn, idol AU!

Warning: mentions of mental health issues, mentions of workaholic disorder, curse words

Words:

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Chapter 8

Two and a half weeks. Two and a half weeks had passed since Julie started working as a curator on Minhyuk’s project. Two and a half weeks in which Julie had seen, talked, worked, had lunch with Lee Jooheon from Monday to Friday, and today, Wednesday, at last, she was going to have a day of work WITHOUT him.

To be fair, Jooheon had helped a lot in the last few days. In fact, Julie was quite impressed with the level of commitment and detail that the rapper was putting into the project. While it is true that art was not his forte, the reason he had gone to the gallery all these days was to study and try to understand a little more about the process of setting up an exhibition. Rei and Mr. Kim were delighted with Jooheon’s professionalism and Julie could not complain much about him, he had been quieter and more serious than she expected.

The problem was not, of course, the commitment of the rapper; the problem was that Julie was uneasy whenever he was close. And since she was in charge of the exhibition, well, she had him around most of the time.

The day they went to Minhyuk’s apartment they both managed to take pictures of all the singer’s works and Julie was trying to put together a catalog that had a clear and coherent guiding thread and storyline. She had several conceptual ideas and options, but as all final decisions regarding the exhibition must have the corresponding approval, she could do nothing without Jooheon’s opinion. Julie already knew she was going to be in constant contact with Jooheon, but she never imagined that he would come to the gallery every day and spend eight or more hours with her in the office studying the different conceptual lines that Julie wanted to develop.

From reading about art theory to researching previous exhibits with similar aesthetics, Jooheon was open to anything... And, of course, all those hours of work were done in Julie’s office, and while there was nothing wrong with that at first glance, Julie was overwhelmed. So, the expectation of having HER office just for her for a whole day made her very happy.

"Good morning, Rei," Julie said as she entered.

"Good morning, Julie," replied the other curator. "Did something good happen? You look happy."

"Really?" asked Julie without making a big deal of it. "Mmm, no, nothing special happened. I guess I slept well last night".

"Wait," Rei said before Julie went to her office, "Jooheon-ssi left this for you".

"What?"

"He told me that he had some commitments today and that he would not be able to come to work, but that this information could be useful for the exhibition that you are organizing," Rei explained while handing Julie a manila envelope with several documents.

Julie grabbed the envelope, thanked Rei, and left for her office. She threw the unopened envelope on the desk and turned on the computer. She worked all morning without resting and didn’t realize what time it was until someone knocked on her office door.

"Knock, knock," Areum said as she poked her head through the door of Julie’s office. "May I?"

"Areum-ah, hi!" greeted Julie. "What are you doing here? Don’t tell me we had plans and I forgot".

"No, no, not at all" her friend reassured her. "I left a meeting earlier than I thought and decided to stop by and see if you wanted to have coffee".

"What time is it? We can go have lunch," Julie replied.

"It’s three o'clock, Julie".

At that moment, Julianne noticed the clock on her computer and realized that she had spent seven hours in front of her computer non-stop... and without going to the bathroom.

"I think I lost track of time," she said as she got up and ran to the bathroom. "Give me about five minutes and we leave, okay?"

Minutes later, Julie was walking back to her office ready to go have lunch with Areum, but when she opened the door, she ran into the last person she wanted to see that day.

"Jooheon-ssi?" she asked. "Why... what are you doing here?"

"Jooheon-ah was telling me about the project you are organizing together," Areum replied and Julie did not miss the tone of question and slight reproach of her friend. "It seems... different from everything you’ve worked on before, Julie-ah".

"Ah... yes, well, it’s different" Julie said. "But in any case... I thought you had other commitments today, Jooheon-ssi".

"Yes, that’s right. I only came by to give you this," he said as he handed Julie a clear plastic folder with several documents inside. "I asked Rei to give you an envelope with some documents from the market research I’ve been doing over the last few days, but I forgot to include these surveys. You could use them to decide the theme of the Minhyuk-hyung’s exhibition".

"Oh, sure. Thank you, Jooheon-ssi, I’ll read them when I can," Julie replied. "Now, you’ll have to excuse us, but Areum-ah and I were going out to..."

"Do you want to come with us?" Areum asked interrupting Julie. "There’s a café nearby where Julie and I go often, what do you say? I’m buying".

Julie froze on the spot from what Areum had just said. What the fuck, Areum-ah? she thought as she gave a warning look to her friend.

"Thank you, Areum-ah, but I have to go," Jooheon replied, letting Julie breath again. "But I could take you there, I came in my car, so...".

"It’s not necessary" said Julie immediately. "We don’t want to be a bother and the coffee shop is close enough, we can walk and it’s good exercise".

Areum was going to intervene, but she thought better and decided only to observe the situation. She’d have a lot to ask her friend about later.

"It’s no bother," Jooheon said calmly and a little upset. Two weeks had passed, and Julie was still keeping the distance between the two. At first, Jooheon had understood, or tried to understand, the distance between the two because 1) they had not seen each other for years, and 2) they were in a professional environment where she had to take care of the appearances. The latter Jooheon understood it better than anyone and so he had decided to start by building a professional relationship and then get his friend back, but instead of moving forward, Jooheon felt like he was walking backwards. What frustrated him the most was that, as much as he thought about it, he couldn’t find a reason to justify Julie’s attitude. "I can drive you without problem, so you don’t have to walk even more on those shoes anymore".

"What about my shoes?" Julie asked defensively.

"They’re new, right?" Jooheon said. "Don’t your feet hurt a bit? And there are bandage wraps on your desk, do you have blisters? If you’ve been walking all day as you usually do, your feet are definitely swollen".

"I’ve been sitting all day," Julie replied dryly as she put the transparent folder Jooheon had brought her on a pile of clearly forgotten papers.

"Thank you, Jooheon-ah," Areum intervened, "but the cafe is too close to need a ride. And, you see, Julie-ah here, she hasn’t eaten all day and, well, her sugar dropped, so I think it’s best to feed the beast as soon as possible".

"Sure, sure," Jooheon said with a dry laugh. "Anyway, I have to go. Enjoy your meal. See you tomorrow, Jules".

"Sure".

Seconds later, Jooheon was leaving Julie’s office and left the two friends alone. Please don’t ask me anything, Areum, don’t ask me anything, Julie prayed in her head.

"Well, let’s eat," Areum said, holding Julie by the arm.

Areum took Julie to the cafe without saying a word, but always holding her hand. Julie knew her friend had thousands of questions to ask her, but Areum was smart enough to know that on an empty stomach she wouldn’t get information.

Both friends sat in the restaurant and Areum began to talk about her day, the last conversation she had with her mother, a bag she had seen online and wanted to buy, how shattered the last chapter of the drama she was watching had left her... Anyway, anything to pass the time. As Areum spoke, Julie stared at her and nodded from time to time; then they brought them food and Julie ate quietly as Areum continued to talk and talk.

Areum spoke so much, that Julie chose to relax a little, as she trusted her friend not to ask her anything about Jooheon. At least not that day at that cafe.

Big mistake.

The truth was that Areum was waiting for Julie to relax and lower the defenses a little to bring up the subject; goal that was achieved about thirty minutes after having arrived at the place.

"Ugh, well, I’ve talked a lot, don’t you think?" Areum said as Julie finished her coffee. "Your turn, what’s new?"

By the tone of voice, Julie knew she had to choose her words well, otherwise, Areum could either keep insisting or even got to Jooheon and ask him personally.

"Just work," replied Julie. "Kang-Dae is away and my mom is busy with the remodeling of the house, so yes... I’ve just been working. As you can see, it’s a new project".

"Yes, I saw," Areum said. "A new project with Lee Jooheon. How did that happen?".

"It just happened. I can’t say much, but he’s only helping a friend".

Areum was silent waiting for Julie to elaborate on her response, although she knew that when her friend decided not to speak anymore, there was no force on earth able to change her mind.

"Okay, so... what are you doing on Sunday? Are we going shopping?"

______________________________________

After leaving Julie’s office, Jooheon went straight to his car and went to the Retreat Center where he received his sessions with Dr. Choi. The last two weeks he had gone during lunchtime at the gallery so he could work full time and help Julie. The routine was the same as on the first day: Jooheon arrived, Dr. Choi invited him in, and he sat as far away as possible from the doctor’s desk. She, for her part, spoke a little, asked basic questions to which Jooheon responded with simple phrases or monosyllables, and after about ten minutes of uncomfortable interactions, the doctor focused on preparing her classes and Jooheon fell asleep on the couch. Fifty minutes later, the rapper said goodbye to the psychologist, who accompanied him to the exit of the center and told him that she expected to see him the following week.

This week would be a little different. In the morning he helped Kihyun move to his new apartment and then would go to Dr. Choi’s office around four in the afternoon. Apparently, there was a cycle of lectures in which the doctor participated as a speaker, so they had to push the time of the session.

It was 3:30 p.m., but since he had nothing better to do, Jooheon went straight to the Center from the gallery and decided he would wait for the doctor for a while. When he arrived, he greeted the receptionist and other people who worked in the center and decided to walk a little through the garden. There was no one there, so Jooheon enjoyed the silence and freshness of the breeze for a while. He noticed that the land was much larger than what you could see at first glance; if you went a little further into the garden, there were picnic tables, a small ranch with a grill, and what looked like a greenhouse.

At one of the tables, Dr. Choi was sitting. She hadn’t seen Jooheon, she was very focused on reading something, but Jooheon could see that whatever was in her hands was making her smile.

The rapper felt a little bad towards the psychologist, after all, she was just doing her job and he had not been the personification of sympathy in the sessions. Dr. Choi didn’t seem like a bad person and Jooheon still remembered how she stood up to Director Park and imposed her own conditions; the problem was that Jooheon was not ready to trust anyone and, even if he was, he wouldn’t know where to start talking.

Anyway, he decided to come over and say hello to the doctor.

"Doctor Choi?" he asked.

"Jooheon-ssi? Hi," she replied, "I wasn’t expecting you for another half hour".

"Yeah, well, I finished early and came to wait for you," he said.

"You can sit down if you want" the doctor invited him. "At this time the garden is the most peaceful place in the whole city".

"I noticed," Jooheon replied as he sat in front of the doctor. "I didn’t know the place was this big".

"Yes, we are fortunate to have this little oasis of silence," she said.

A few minutes of silence followed in which Dr. Choi continued to read the documents in front of her and Jooheon let his mind blank. He looked through what he could see of the garden and the building that seemed to be a greenhouse, but after a while, he focused on what looked like a drawing that was under all the documents of the doctor.

"Do you draw?" Jooheon asked suddenly.

"Here and there, yes" the doctor replied as she looked up from her reading material. "It relaxes me and helps me stop thinking".

"Oh, I see".

"Do you like art, Jooheon-ssi?"

"Well... in a certain way? Yes" Jooheon said without much security. "I don’t paint or anything, but one of my closest friends does and he’s amazing".

"Yeah, well, when it comes to art, you don’t need to be an expert to enjoy it," the doctor replied. "You just need to feel something from it, that’s enough. And if you think about it, everything in life is like that, don’t you think?"

"I guess... yes".

Again, silence. But unlike what one might think, it was not an awkward silence. In fact, Dr. Choi looked so comfortable without saying anything, she made Jooheon relax as well. He was used to having to talk all the time, so the change was refreshing.

"I must confess something, Jooheon-ssi," the doctor said after a few minutes. "I’m not used to digging into my patients' lives, so you understand that even if you’re a public figure, when you became my patient, I didn’t look for anything about you or your music. But a few days ago, one of my younger patients showed me one of your band’s songs and I was really impressed. While it is not the style of music that my ears appreciate at my age and I do not follow idol groups, your songs are really good".

"Oh, thank you, doctor," Jooheon said a little surprised by the sudden confession. "I really appreciate it".

"And... well, I have a question, I hope you don’t mind".

"Not at all. What is it?"

"Are you people even human?"

"JAJAJAJA, excuse me?" Jooheon said in a fit of laughter.

"That went wrong," the doctor said, "I mean, you jump, dance, run, and sing… all at the same time. How is that possible? I have treated all kinds of athletes and I assure you that none of them can do what you do. How is that humanly possible?"

"Well... training," Jooheon replied after calming down a bit. "The athletes have different workouts and training processes than us, but it’s just that. It’s nothing special, just... many hours of practice".

"Just that? No, no" the doctor corrected. "It’s definitely something special. Not everyone can be an athlete, and not everyone can be an idol. I know the way I asked could have been better, that must have startled you. Anyway" continued Dr. Choi as she stood up, "I have to go back to the office, my students' essays will not be reviewed alone. See you next week?"

"But our session was at 4," Jooheon said perplexed.

"Yes, that’s true, but I think what we talked about these minutes is enough for today, don’t you think?" the doctor replied with a smile. "What do you think about going back to the usual schedule next week?"

"Ehhh, yes, of course," Jooheon said.

"Perfect. Come, I’ll walk you out".

_________________________________________

Thursday

"Jooheon-ssi," Jules said, "I need you to go with Rei and review the layout of the catalog options for the exhibition. I haven’t heard back from the printing house, and I need the physical copies so I can approve them. Maybe you’ll have to go over there and ask them personally".

"Sure, Jules," Jooheon said as he rose from the improvised desk he had set up in Julie’s office. Although “improvised” was a saying, as Mr. Kim himself insisted that, since Jooheon was collaborating with them so constantly, the least they could do was give him his own space, so they conditioned a desk with his computer and office supplies.

Fifteen minutes later, Jooheon returned to Julie’s office with a smile.

"It’s all settled, Jules," he said. "In a few minutes you will get the digital versions and in the afternoon they will bring the physical versions here to the gallery".

"What?" asked Jules perplexed. "They have no delivery service".

"Yeah, well, I’ve worked with them on Monsta X projects before. I called them and asked them about the copies and... it just happened," explained Jooheon, underscoring the issue.

"I see," Julie said quietly.

****

Friday

"Jooheon-ssi, I need you to go to Minhyuk-ssi’s apartment and check a couple of pieces".

"Sure, tell me which ones," Jooheon said.

It was 9:30 in the morning. Julie instructed Jooheon on what to do, as some photos did not look good on the printed paper and the photo had to be re-shot with another lighting. There were quite a few photos to take again, and Julie hoped that would take Jooheon the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon to complete the task.

However, twenty minutes after leaving the office, Jooheon returned with news.

"I spoke to Minhyuk hyung," he told Julie. "He’s in the apartment with Kihyun hyung and says they can take the pictures. Don’t worry, Kihyun may be delicate, but he knows about photography. In a couple of hours, they will send you the images".

Great, Julie thought.

****

Monday

Julianne arrived at her office at 8:00 a.m., as usual. Upon entering her office, however, she saw that one person was already there.

"Good morning, Jules" Jooheon greeted with a smile.

"Good morning, Jooheon-ssi," she said.

"I e-mailed you something a few minutes ago. Last week we reduced the concepts for the exhibition to three possibilities, but I think we could merge two of them. When you can, check the information I sent and tell me what you think".

"Okay, Jooheon-ssi," replied Julie. "I’ll see it as soon as I can".

***

Tuesday

"Jooheon-ssi" Jules called, "since we decided on the concept for the exhibition, we have to think about the order the pieces will have. I think it would be better if Minhyuk-ssi was involved in the selection. Could you meet him and define the order of the pieces?"

"It’s already done, Jules."

"Excuse me?"

"Yes," Jooheon said. "Yesterday I went to his apartment for dinner and showed him the general idea. He loved it and we started organizing the exhibition. I hadn’t told you because Minhyuk hyung wanted to check it out today, but he’ll certainly call you in the afternoon to talk about it and probably with the proposal ready".

"Oh, that’s perfect".

***

Wednesday

"Jooheon-ssi, I need you to go to this interior design studio to coordinate the decoration proposal for the exhibition. The meeting may last all morning and part of the afternoon, so you can take the day off and..."

Julianne’s desk phone started ringing, so she stopped what she was saying and took the call.

"Monarca Gallery, this is Seo Julianne... Nice to meet you, Mr. Park. How can I help you?... Ahhh, our exhibition.... Yes, yes, right... Ahhh, I see, of course.... Of course.... Yes, of course.... Well, you could send us your proposals by e-mail and we will review them for.... In person?... In the gallery?... Well, we should book the meeting and.... Mr. Kim?... Well, if the meeting is already scheduled with our director, there is nothing more to talk about. See you in the afternoon, Mr. Park.... You too, have a nice day".

Julianne hung up the call and then Director Kim came into her office.

"Julie-ssi" he said, "I imagine you just spoke to Mr. Park".

"Yes, sir. We just talked," she replied. "He informed me of today’s afternoon meeting to define the details of the decoration and design for Minhyuk-ssi’s exhibition".

"Perfect, great," said Director Kim. "I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads-up. I talked to him yesterday after Jooheon-ssi introduced me to him and it all flowed very organically, you know? He is a well-known designer and the fact that he wants to collaborate with us on this project is a great opportunity. Maybe it will open other doors for us, so this meeting is very important".

"I understand, Mr. Kim," Julianne replied. "Don’t worry".

"I don’t think you’ll have any problem," Jooheon, who had been quiet so far, intervened. "Before I introduced him to you, I showed him past exhibits and he was very impressed with Jules' work. He said he wanted to meet you, so it’s sure to be a simple meeting".

"Excellent!" Mr. Kim said enthusiastically. "Well, see you later".

****

Thursday

"Well, this is the space where we will have the three pieces that will make up the center of the exhibition," Julianne explained. "As I detailed earlier, the idea is to enable the exterior ramp on the front facade of the gallery, which is usually used as an exit, for it to be the entrance to the exhibition. This way, the three floors of the building will be used and the route will be in the form of a spiral from the third to the center of the first floor".

"I love the idea," Mr. Park said. The man had not stopped praising the overall concept of the project since the previous day. "Because of the shape of the ceiling, it will not be difficult to assemble the light and fabric structure we talked about yesterday. What we do need to confirm is the color palette".

"We can work on that... tomorrow? Will you have time, Minhyuk-ssi?" Julie asked.

"I have a meeting tomorrow at 2:00 pm, but I could come to the gallery in the morning and after the meeting. Will that be enough time?" Minhyuk had had a very busy schedule in recent weeks, but he was impressed with the work that both Julie and Jooheon had done. From the concept and the colors to the arrangement and the order of the pieces, Minhyuk had done almost nothing but approve the proposals of both. While he had seen his friend work hard on this project, he knew that the mastermind behind it all was Julie and was sincerely impressed with the curator’s work, as was Mr. Park. That is why that day he had taken the time to go to the gallery and participate in the organization of the last details.

"Sure, we can have a tentative paddle tomorrow. We can then review it on Monday and Tuesday to be sure. That way, by Wednesday Mr. Park will have all the necessary details to begin with the production and arrangement of the interior of the gallery".

"I love it" Mr. Park said for the thousandth time. "This is the level of order and dedication that is needed in the world. I see why Jooheon-ah speaks so highly of you, Julie-ssi".

"I thank you, Mr. Park, shall we continue?"

****

Friday

"I’M SICK OF IT!" shouted Julie as she finished her third beer can.

"Wow, easy, tiger," Areum said. "What’s the matter?"

It was Friday night and both friends were gathered in Areum’s apartment for a night of ice cream, movies, pizza, and alcohol. That was the mix Julie needed to release the frustration she had felt for three weeks.

"Can you explain to me why he’s there?" Julie continued. "I mean... doesn’t he have a career to take care of? Doesn’t he have responsibilities or an agenda to fulfill? Why, why, WHY does he have to be in the gallery every day?"

"Oh, are you talking about Jooheon?" Areum asked. "I thought he was helping you".

"He can help in the distance. There’s no need for him to be in the gallery all day from Monday to Friday".

"But, Julie, if he helps you, what’s the problem? Jooheon is a good guy... stupid sometimes, but he’s a man after all".

"I’d rather he wasn’t there. It’s that AAAAARRRRGGGG"

"Well, calm down," Areum said. "Just give him some other tasks to get him out of the gallery and that’s it. If you’re so upset for having to see him, just ask him to pick up things or buy something or I don’t know."

"I’ve already tried, but he’s always one step ahead of me," Julie said. "I asked him to go collect some catalogs from the printing house. It’s two hours one way and two back, AH! But it turns out he knows the designer in charge, so instead of him going, they came to the gallery."

"Mmmmm, yeah, but isn’t that better?" Areum asked. "Maybe next time you don’t have to go either".

"I also sent him to meet with Minhyuk-ssi to organize the exhibition order. And what happened?  Well, they had done it the night before!"

"Sure, but that made the process faster, didn’t it?" Areum continued, trying to calm her friend. "I mean, you would have had to wait another day or two and everything else would have been delayed".

"And on top of everything!" Julie continued without paying attention to her friend. "He takes the liberty of showing my work to Park Jung-Su and brings him to our gallery. I mean... who does he think he is?"

"Sure, because to recommend your work to one of the best interior designers in the country, who has thousands of contacts, is something sooooooo bad that, ufff, he deserves hell".

"I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm".

"Julianne, you’re not in the mood for anything," Areum replied sharply. She was fed up. "What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, you’re telling me that Lee Jooheon, your best friend from school, is working with you on a project, he’s efficient, he’s punctual, he’s creative, he solves problems, he recommends your work to other people, he does what you ask him to and on top of it he’s funny and he’s handsome AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING?"

"I DON’T WANT HIM THERE!" Julie replied. "All these years I lived perfectly happy without seeing his face and I’m sure he didn’t even remember my existence until a few weeks ago. Why couldn’t he stay like that?"

Areum was silent for a few moments. Then she sighed, settled into the sofa where both were sitting so that she saw Julie directly in the face, and spoke as calmly as possible:

"Look, Julie, I don’t understand. What did Jooheon do to you that you hate him so much?" Areum asked. That question had been on Areum’s head since the alumni meeting when she saw Julie rejecting Jooheon. That reaction was the last thing Areum expected since at school Julie and Jooheon had been super close and Julie had never mentioned any episode in which Jooheon offended her or anything like that. What’s more, Areum was sure that Julianne had been in love with Jooheon all through school, and suspected that the feelings had been mutual, but nothing was ever said and when Jooheon won the reality show to debut as part of Monsta X, they both lost touch.

"I don’t hate him," Julie said.

"Ah, no?" jumped Areum. "Sorry, I didn’t know that’s how you showed love".

"Don’t be ridiculous".

"I’m not being ridiculous. Something had to have happened for you to go from making lovey eyes at him to not standing seeing him in photography, Julie" Areum insisted. "I’m trying to understand, but I can’t. I just don’t see what’s wrong with Jooheon, so I just have to assume he did something to you to make you hate him so much, but if you don’t tell me what happened, I can’t guess".

"It was a long time ago, Areum-ah," Julie sighed.

"And yet it still bothers you. What happened?"

Julianne thought about it for a few minutes before answering. It was a story she hadn’t told anyone because, on the one hand, it hurt, and on the other, it was embarrassing. She still remembered how bad she felt at the time and was afraid to feel the same way again if she told someone what happened, but the truth is that she needed to vent her frustration and Areum had always supported her.

"Fine, I’ll tell you what happened" began Julianne. "But I need another beer".

"I’ll give it to you when you tell me. Now, spit it out".

"Arg, okay. Remember our senior year? At the end of the year, the reality show that Jooheon participated in started, so all the teachers helped him finish the year early and, well, after that came the recordings and so on..."

"Yes, I remember," Areum said. "I also remember that you kept talking about the bloody program and that despite being sunk in exams you always had a stupid smile on your face. Continue".

"Yeah, well, Jooheon and I still saw each other. We texted a lot, although he couldn’t tell me much about what was going on because it was part of reality, but we still told each other everything we could. I... I really missed him at the time and... I told him so".

"And..."

"The day they aired the No Mercy final, I couldn’t watch the episode. I remember Jooheon made me promise I’ll watch it, but that week, a cousin left town and I had to go take care of her cat at her apartment for a few days. I couldn’t watch the final because the cat ran away and I was looking all over town for it. When I gave up, I went back to the apartment and found Jooheon sitting in front of the door with the cat in his arms. He still had makeup on from the shoot, he looked like a ghost with so much white foundation".

Julie took a break before continuing to tell the story and this time Areum did not rush her. She realized it was a bittersweet memory for her friend, so she was giving her time to get her air back.

"Anyway, as soon as I saw him, I remembered the final of No Mercy and the first thing I did was apologize to him. Of course, he did a whole drama about it. I don’t know how many hours he complained about me not watching him win first place. In the end, we talked for hours, ate something, drank a little... and at that moment I realized how much I had missed him. I realized how I felt about him, that I liked him, and well, one thing led to another and... you know…."

"No, I don’t know," Areum said maliciously.

"Don’t play stupid, you know what I mean," Julie replied.

"What? That you guys fucked?" Areum snapped.

"Jeez, you don’t have to say it like that".

"Come on, Julie, we’re grown-ups. Don’t get all delicate over a word," Areum said. "Especially since that’s exactly what you did, am I right?"

"Yes… you are".

After that, there was a few moments of silence. Areum let the seconds pass before asking the next question.

"Julie-ah" she started, "Was Jooheon your first time?"

"No, he wasn’t, this is not that type of drama" Julie replied bluntly. Gladly he wasn’t, she said in her head.

"Well, what happened next? Because so far you haven’t given me a single reason to hate him," Areum continued. "Unless the sex had been extremely bad, but that still doesn’t justify your hatred, girl. Not everyone has good stamina, you know?".

"AREUM-AH!" shouted Julie as she threw a pillow in her friend’s face.

"Ay! Calm down!" Areum said with laughter. "It was just an idea. Continue, I still don’t understand what happened".

"He left, that’s what happened Areum-ah," Julie said.

"What do you mean?" Areum said a little confused.

"I mean, well, THAT happened and he just... left!" Julie let go. "He picked up his things and left because he told me he’d be in trouble if his manager didn’t find him in the bedroom the next morning. And on top of that, he told me that he liked me and that he was happy that it happened because it was the best goodbye he could have. THE BEST GOODBYE!  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!"

"Emmm, yes?" said Areum still confused. "I mean... Jooheon had just won a show and was about to debut as an idol. He was literally reaching his dream after years".

"So, you’re okay with what he did to me?" Julie asked incredulously.

"For starters, he didn’t do anything to you, Julie. From what you are telling me, it was consensual. Second, it’s not that I think it’s right or wrong; I think it’s logical, isn’t it?" Areum replied. "I mean... what else did you expect him to do? It’s not like you didn’t know what his responsibilities were going to be from then on. And he didn’t anything stupid like some lame promises before he came, did he?"

Julie didn’t answer it.

"Or did he?" Areum insisted. "And, by the way, those promises don’t count for much, so I hope you’re under no illusions if he told you that..."

"He didn’t say anything," Julianne cut her.

"Then what?" Areum asked. "I mean, all right, you realized you loved him, and the feelings were apparently mutual since you had sex and he said he was happy it happened and blah, blah, blah... but he was going to start preparing for his debut and you knew it, so of course he wouldn’t have time for a relationship. He was clear about that, but that doesn’t mean he disrespected you, Julie, since he didn’t force anything on you. Or did he?"

"He hurt me," Julianne said.

"Yes, I see that, and did you ever tell him?" Areum asked. "Because, as far as you’ve told me, you never talked about having a relationship or having commitments to each other or expectations for the future or anything at all. What I see is a Jooheon who took a couple of hours off to say goodbye to his best friend before diving right into the entertainment industry’s hurricane. And, uh, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ve built yourself castles in the sky without any foundation, Julie".

Julie remained silent. She was angry, confused, and didn’t want to hear Areum’s reasons anymore. That moment had hurt her very much; yes, it was true, she had built castles in the sky and now she saw how stupid she had been and how meaningless her story had been. Still, she was angry.

Areum knew that her friend’s brain was going at a thousand miles an hour and that she was torn between truth and pride. Still, she had to get her to understand.

"Look, Julie" Areum started with a calm tone, "Jooheon didn’t do anything wrong, not really. I think, in those moments, you created a series of expectations that he couldn’t meet at the time and that he didn’t even know you had because you never told him. If you had, I don’t think he had made any move because he knew precisely what he was getting into. Jooheon is a good guy, he’s smart, he’s funny, he’s hardworking, and more importantly, now that he has time, I think he wants to regain the friendship that you two had. So, girl, these years you’ve been mad at him without any foundation, really, and for a stu..."

"Do you have soju?" Julianne interrupted as she stood up and checked the refrigerator.

"What? Emmm, I don’t know, I think not, but..."

"I’m going to the store to buy some," said Julie. "I feel like having soju and something spicy, I will also buy something to eat. I’ll be back in no time, pick a movie while I’m out".

Three seconds later, Julie walked out the door of the apartment and left Areum with words in her mouth.

"Sure, Julie, because avoiding problems is always the best solution!" Areum shouted hoping Julie would hear her through the door.

She still couldn’t believe the ridiculousness of Julie’s story, although she knew her friend had always had a hypersensitive side that she rarely showed. She knew Julie needed time to calm down and accept that she had indeed been ridiculous, but that was going to take time. Especially because her pride was bruised. I just hope she comes to her senses, Areum thought.

Meanwhile, Julie was taking a deep breath in the middle of the hallway trying to keep the tears from coming out of her eyes. She wouldn’t cry, she refused. She wasn’t going to cry about the memory of that night or how stupid she felt after what Areum told her. She was right, nothing made sense and that made her feel embarrassed and humiliated and stupid and... No, no, calm down, Julie, calm down, she thought as she walked down the stairs.

She began to walk and the cold night air helped clear her mind. She arrive at the convenience store, grabbed 5 bottles of soju, a few packets of extra spicy ramen, and a chocolate ice cream. She paid for everything and sat at the tables outside to eat the ice cream. She didn’t want to go back to the apartment yet, she still needed time and could no longer hold back her tears, so while she was eating, she began to cry.

At least there’s no one around, Julie thought as she sobbed a little.

What she didn’t know was that someone was nearby.

Jooheon felt suffocated in the dorm, so he had decided to go for a run. After about 20 minutes of running and listening to music without paying attention to his surroundings, he realized that he was not in his neighborhood and his cell phone had run out of battery. In the distance, he saw the convenience store where Julie was and walked there hoping the part-timer would let him use the phone to call a taxi.

Jooheon recognized Julie instantly, as she was wearing an old sweatshirt that belonged to her father. Jooheon had seen that sweatshirt so many times that he could recognize it anywhere.

The rapper thought about coming over to say hello but saw that Julie was not well. He saw her wiping the tears from her face and her nose was red. Jooheon’s first instinct was to come over and ask her if everything was alright, help her if she needed it. But he didn’t. Jooheon knew that Julianne rarely cried in front of people, and if she was there alone in the middle of the night, it was probably because she didn’t want anyone to see her. In addition, their relationship was not as close as Jooheon would have liked.

That is why Jooheon decided to watch her at a safe distance. He felt partially like a stalker, but right now all he cared about was her getting home safely. So, when Julie got up and started walking toward Areum’s apartment, Jooheon followed her being careful not to make any noise to not to frighten her. He saw her enter the apartment building and stood there for a few minutes thinking about what might have affected Julie so much to cry alone in the middle of the night in front of a convenience store.

Jules, whatever it is, it’ll be fine, I promise, Jooheon thought as he walked back to the store to use the phone.

« Previous Next »

[catgirl-brain]

[ENG] Another Night - Kazui Mukuhara Voice Drama

Aand... it's been forever since this came out... I had a lot of trouble deciphering what Kazui was trying to say in some portions, so please take this translation with a grain of salt... It's super rough at some parts, sorry!

Kazui: Alright then… Let’s see how this turns out.

(door swings open)

Es: Sorry for the wait,

(door shuts)

Es: Prisoner number 7, Kazui.

Kazui: Excuse me,

(restrains Es)

Es: W-what!?

Kazui: Sorry, give me a second to be ridiculous here.

Es: (struggling) You…! That’s rude!

Kazui: Now, now… I won’t hurt you, so don’t be afraid…

Kazui: Huh..?

Es: (breaks free and gasps)

Kazui: What’s this…? I’ve suddenly lost my strength…

Es: (heavy breathing) Prisoner number 7, Kazui! Do you have any idea what you’ve just done!? You’ve just committed a serious crime.

Kazui: (hums)

Es: Hey! Are you listening to me, Kazui!?

Kazui: Prison guard-kun fought me when I squeezed them… That’s not the image I got from Futa’s account. I thought you’d overpower me,

Es: Huh?

Kazui: but you tried to get out as soon as I started, and - “What’s this?” I suddenly lost control of my own body.

Es: (huffs) I don’t know all the details either, I just know that a prisoner can’t attack the guard.

Kazui: I see… (laughs) But it’s not like a magic barrier- An old man like me wouldn’t be able to handle that… (As an old man, that helps) Still, in terms of reality… it feels a bit like it was hypnosis.

Es: Hey! I don’t care about that!

Kazui: Hm?

Es: Sit down there, Kazui!

Kazui: (chuckles) Ok, ok.

Es: The manner of these prisoners towards their prison guard... Don’t treat me as if I’m a kid, but that behavior is uncalled for... I'm not going to forgive you (for treating me like that), what do you have to say for yourself?

Kazui: Hmm…

Kazui: (claps) Sorry!

Es: Huh?

Kazui: Really- sorry, sorry! I was worried I’d get injured by you, Prison guard-kun. From now on I’ll try to get information safely. Depending on who they are, everyone has their own method of gathering information.

Es: Huh?

Kazui: I’m an anxious old man, so I just needed to verify if Prison guard-kun was armed or not.

Es: You...To do that sort of thing to me…

Kazui: Mm? I thought it would be fine, but I suppose it wasn’t.

Es: Oh? But I didn't like it.

Kazui: Oh, no no, I don’t mean to offend you. Well, it’s no problem, if we can’t attack you, you can’t attack us, either.

Es: Hmm? (approaches him)

Kazui: What are you doing?

Es: (slaps him)

Kazui: T...that hurts….!

Es: Hey, what’s wrong? I was able to attack you?

Kazui: That was uncalled for-!.. Even so... that seems to be true…

Es: What, should I have said that earlier? Should slap you again to see if it works that time?

Kazui: Aw, I get it! I’ll be patient… (clears throat) I suppose the guard has decided the situation… We’re just scared of unfamiliar situations, don't you hate it - not knowing things?

Kazui: If I can’t expect it, it could hurt me. Even if not, it's better to see first. There’s always something dangerous. And what’s more, from the beginning of this session, you seem unfazed by this “mechanism”- somewhere, it sounds like pieces of something are moving. (??)

Es: What are you trying to say?

Kazui: In other words, we’re divided into the positions of Guard and Prisoner. We’re both trying to glean the information we lack.

Kazui: I think it’s “fair” in that sense.

Es: Me and you guys… we’re “fair”?

Kazui: Well, that’s my guess. I was hoping that Prison guard-kun would agree with me if I decided it was okay.

Es: Hmm… but you’re such a chatty man.

Kazui: (laughs) That’s true (laughs) I’m worried all the time, this old man’s no good.

Es: Well, what you’re saying is pretty interesting. It’s true; at some times I don’t even know everything about MILGRAM.

Kazui: (affirmative hum)

Es: But! I am the Prison Guard of MILGRAM, and you’re a prisoner, that much is true.

Kazui: (hum)

Es: That’s the most important thing here. Now then, Prisoner number 7, Kazui. Let’s get started.

Kazui: Alright, very professional aren’t we? (laughs) Well, let me introduce myself. I like this too. This isn’t my first time introducing myself to you.

Kazui: Once again, it’s Mukuhara Kazui, age 39. Nice to meet you, Prison guard-kun.

Es: Hm. You guys are all murderous prisoners. Kazui, you shouldn’t be so cheerful.

Kazui: Murderous... is that it? Well, you’re not wrong there.

Es: Mm? Confess it then.

Kazui: Confess.. At the very least, I believe I’m a murderer. I admit that. I don’t know if that’s a good way to put it.

Es: A good way to put it…?

Kazui: And that’s all there is, for the most part. To me, there should be no murderers aside from me. (??????????????????????????????????????)

Es: What do you mean?

Kazui: For example, for what reason are you gathering us murderers here? That’s something a crazy person would do. Is there a better word other than “murderer”? The term is too broad.

Es: Hey, Kazui. This isn’t the time to be asking questions.

Kazui: And I’m not recognizable as a murderer, unless you know my crime. Why the hell are we even on trial? It doesn’t make sense.

Es: I don’t give a damn about all that. I am the one who will decide whether to forgive you or not.

Kazui: Oh, is that so? Even though I don’t know who you’re working for?

Es: They’re fluffy. And if there's a problem, they’ll show up.

Kazui: Hm..? It’s something like that..?

Es: Stop acting like a detective, it’s unpleasant.

Kazui: Okay, okay.

Es: (sighs) Kazui. How do you feel about the other prisoners?

Kazui: Oh, that’s a good one. Don’t worry, everyone is well and friendly. The younger ones often get stressed, but there seems to be a good balance.

Es: That answer would be the same no matter who you ask. Don’t worry about conflicts between prisoners.

Kazui: Isn’t that what’s happening right now? I don’t really know what’s in my head, and you don’t know what life is like outside of here (???)

Es: Hm?

Kazui: There's an air of good feelings around the prison. I would be okay with living here forever. Why have you prepared such an environment..?

Es: Hey! Stop trying to get the conversation off track!

Kazui: (laughs) I got caught. Forgive me, alright? I’m an old man, I can’t help teasing kids like you- I have to be a little mischievous.

Es: You’re the same as Shidou. I hate it. I swear, does every adult act this way?

Kazui: (laughs) Did Shidou-kun also do that? He’s really calm, isn’t he? Can’t take that one sitting down.

Es: Are you different? You seem just as childish.

Kazui: Mmm… Does it seem that way? That’s good.

Es: What’s good about that? I don’t get this.

Es: This is a place where your consciousness will reveal itself (?) calculated by the impressions from others, but they can easily lie.

Kazui: This is, this is… You’re pretty tough. (laughs) But you’re not showing your true self, and neither am I.

Es: Hm…

Kazui: But, I’m older, so I have to take more responsibility/I need to try harder when I’m around kids like you. I’m an old man, so I need to keep a smile on my face while hiding my fangs.. Even if you are young.

Es: I see..

Kazui: You can tell I’m lying… Well, that may be the case. Unfortunately for you adults are very good at lying.

Es: Adults, huh?

Kazui: You’ll be stumped(?). Although, maybe you have some mysterious power...

Es: (cute laugh) Hey, Kazui…

Kazui: Yeah?

Es: That’s exactly it.

Kazui: Eh?

Es: I see your weakness. I can look inside you and unravel the sounds of your heart… What’s more, that adult technique. (??)

Kazui: (laughing) What? What’s that supposed to mean?

Es: Stop laughing, it’s unpleasant.

Kazui: (oh hoho…) Oi, oi, What on Earth is going on here….

Es: Are you a sweet-natured man who takes his losses well? Or are you really someone else?

Kazui: (hums)

Es: I’m looking forward to seeing it… Is it possible to hide anything from it? (‘it’ being the MILGRAM machine that produces the songs). I see now...

Es: In time, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll see the vulnerabilities in the lies of a murderer.. Though I’ve already seen through it a while ago.

Kazui: So… You’re going to do all that?

Es: What do you think?

Kazui: Well, it’s not so bad… sounds just like an adult, doesn’t it?

Es: (laughs) Being an adult, huh… Don’t use that as an excuse for you behavior, coward*

Kazui: (offended sound)

Es: In this place, it doesn’t matter whether you’re an adult or a child. MILGRAM forces you to stare deep into yourself, and you can’t escape.

Kazui: I…. see. I don’t care about this place of yours, and it hasn’t even scratched my surface. I just want to be stronger than it. (?)

Kazui: Of course, I’ve killed, and now I have no reservations about breaking any other laws. It’s different… I wonder if I’m in trouble. Nothing has changed, but I don’t know how to feel. Don’t talk to me like you know what I’m feeling, kid.

Es: (offended noise)...

Es: Welcome, Mukuhara Kazui. I feel like we’ve met before… It's nice to meet you. I am Es, the prison guard of MILGRAM.

Kazui: (exhales, chuckles) Starting again, huh? Well, you won't regret it, that kind of relationship would be painful,

Es: That’s alright, isn’t it? Causing you pain is my job.

Kazui: Mm, you’re a pro.

Es: Surely, as just a regular human being, you can’t be totally prepared for this.

(Bell rings, machinery starts whirring)

Kazui: What’s this?

Es: It’s time for your cross-examination. You’ll face your regrets from now on.

Kazui: (sighs) Someone help… this is too much for me…

Es: That’s right, Kazui… show me your true feelings.

Kazui: Ahaha… Well, I’m embarrassed to concede to a child and say all that…

Es: Don’t worry. I’m going to know your soul from now on.

Kazui: Finding the truth of my inner feelings, huh? Alright.

Es: That’s right.

Kazui: Ah… oh, Prison guard-kun?

Es: What is it?

Kazui: This personality of mine… I’ve developed it from living in the world. Could you tell me about your own experiences? It’s a little annoying to have such a one-sided relationship, isn't it?

Es: I’m not interested in myself.

Kazui: That’s a lot of new information to add to the situation… I… I hide my own sins behind a delusion… I don’t know what you will see when it’s opened.

Es: Kazui…

Kazui: How’s that? Can you see how fickle adults are?

Es: Shut up. You’re the one who’s fickle.

Kazui: (laughs) Tough, isn't it? But is it the end?

Es: Prisoner #7, Kazui. Now, sing your sins.

[azuresins]

I love your reaper!oCiel. Do you have any more headcanons about him or the other reapers? Asking for inspo. I've really wanted to write a fic about reaper!oCiel.

Oh boy, do I... I'm way, way too unmotivated to use any of this for a fic. I've used this sporadically over the course of so many Rps it's not even funny, and I have no idea what plot I'd commit to. But I've got headcanons for days.

Part 1/2

Reaper Our Ciel in my RP/interpretation: He goes by neither his dead/birth name or Ciel. He goes number 0012, (or "Double O, twelve") now as a tribute to his former gardener, who is now long deceased. He's racked up a lot of spiritual/divine debt for his 'sins' and the sins of his family, and devotes his entire being to his work now. He's very efficient and ruthless, and he specializes in (you guessed it) successfully taking souls targeted by demons because of the life he lived. He does not negotiate with humans or demons, and is as arrogant and cold-hearted as ever, for centuries... Until of course he runs into Sebastian again, and it turns his world upside down. There's still a desire for revenge in his heart but this time, it's against Sebastian. Outside of work he's hopelessly lazy and incompetent at taking care of himself. It's easy already-prepared meals, letting his hair grow-out long (mostly because he can't be bothered to get it cut), and still a chocolate addict. When he's angry or vengeful, he gets sharp teeth. Obviously, he lives a very long life and ends up much older but he has to use other means to get his body to age. (See Grelle). William: mmm. This could be tilted toward Grelliam but I don't really ship that with much enthusiasm anymore. But I have headcanons that despite his outer appearances, he has a lot of high anxiety and prefers to live his non-life like a machine, and Grelle, Phantomhive, and Ronald are some of the only reapers who can pull him out of that. Even though he hates it, it's actually good for him. I also headcanon that he and Phantomhive develop a very heavy mentor-and-pupil relationship, and Will uses the fact that he was 'raised by a demon and it shows' when he disappoints him or does something off-putting. Phantomhive doesn't let it show but it gets to him, a lot.

Grelle: Grelle would never say so but develops a (somewhat) soft-spot for Phantomhive over the many years because... she killed his aunt, and even though he tried to kill her in turn, and is still a 'brat!', she can not help but be curious about him, and marvel/gawk at his success. She's also jealous of his specific field of work, obviously. This headcanon is entirely indulgent, but Grelle takes estrogen eventually, and Phantomhive takes testosterone. Grelle to look more feminine, but Phantomhive? To try look like an adult and less like a kid, as he is older now. Sometimes they're shot buddies in the clinic, and Phantomhive ends up apologizing for calling her a loon and misunderstanding her gender dysphoria. It's entirely Grelle's inside joke but because of their history, she will someones refer to herself as Phantomhive's 'mummy' and William as 'daddy'... but both Phantomhive and William are disturbed by it, and find it incredible distasteful. Other less important headcanons include she has something of a shopping addiction and at one point ends up actually living at work and sleeping at her desk.

[bigskydreaming]

#when i read about tim i often kind of come to the idea that he's relatively self centered#and that can be both a flaw and a strength#but he doesn't often consider other people's feelings and circumstances#like when dick made damian robin he didn't really consider the situation from anyone else's view#or in his origin story#he doesn't seem to consider how dick would feel about hearing how tim was affected by dick's parents' death#or with the spyral situation#or in regards to him earning robin#and its pretty consistent in fandom characterization even if a lot of writers don't seem to be aware of it#its interesting cause i think its something i think he has in common with bruce#its honestly a surprisingly consistent thing from what i see#and it can be a strength to#it can absolutely lead to some confidence and self actualization#as well as being able commit to fixing something and working hard at it#because you believe you can and don't think anyone else can/will do it via @emenerd

Y’know, what’s interesting to me about these points is the fact that like.....Tim having tendencies towards self-centeredness is actually something that COMPLETELY makes sense and can be quite sympathetic in light of his backstory of having neglectful parents.

In an age of armchair diagnosticians eager to label anyone who expresses a controversial viewpoint while centering themselves as an example, as like, having a narcissistic personality disorder (and with the loaded implication that this makes them a bad person even if its true, instead of just....having a disorder, yay weaponizable ableism) like, it can be important to add in distinctions that even tendencies that share overlap with a lot of things born of entitlement, etc....aren’t always necessarily proof of that.

For instance, in Tim’s case, an overemphasis on himself and his own position in situations and arguments can very reasonably be attributed as a coping mechanism he developed in an attempt to acknowledge and address self-esteem issues he sees himself as having, DUE to parental neglect.

Its not that he thinks he’s the most important person in the room, necessarily, its that he spent so many years not even being considered a person in the room, that now he OVERCOMPENSATES on his own behalf, in an attempt to remind himself that no, his opinion and feelings and situations do matter.....and because he like most of the Bat-characters has a tendency towards hyper-fixating on a problem they’re trying to address, this can also understandably create a kind of tunnel vision. Where he’s so busy focusing on what he’s diagnosed as an actual issue he has that he’s trying to address or make up for, in order to build up his self-esteem....that he neglects to keep everyone around him equally centered in his interactions with them, and remember that like, they have their own issues and ignoring that to focus entirely on his own runs the risk of negatively impacting them in the exact same way he’s still learning to cope with having been negatively impacted in his development as a child.

None of this makes him a bad person, or is stuff that can’t be addressed and developed just by paying the appropriate attention to it and his interactions.

SO the issue I tend to more often have....

Is with how often in fandom and fanon we hear references to Tim’s neglect and emotional abuse and how this impacted him.....much in the same way we see Jason and Cass and Damian and Dick’s various forms of abuse and the developmental impact it had on them....

BUT there tends to then be a disconnect, IMO, because that acknowledgment of the WHAT of Tim’s neglect and abuse and the HOW it hurt him.....isn’t often followed up by an examination/awareness of how it also SHAPED him.....at least, not compared to how discussions/fics about say, Jason’s abuse tend to point out the latter as much as the former.

And this is a big part of my gripe with the ways abuse is centered and tackled as a topic in fics and fandom discussions, because its so often capitalized upon as a defense or shield for a character from criticism, stuff like that.....without ever actually EXPLORING the topic itself, or the FULLNESS of the impact it can have.

But only in regards to some characters.

What I mean is like....we see a lot of focus on Jason’s childhood abuse, yeah? And this often is then connected through headcanons, meta and fics to various aspects of Jason’s characterization as a teenager, and as an adult as well.....with a tendency towards anger or violence, abrasive personality, etc. Don’t get me wrong, its usually presented as such in a SYMPATHETIC light, especially when raised by fans of Jason themselves.....but his abuse is very much present and centered in fics and discussions as something that not only impacted him and made him suffer, but something that actually shaped him to varying degrees as well....with a lot of focus then in fics of him as an adult, like, paid to him going to therapy and unpacking his childhood abuse in an effort to WORK on these aspects of himself that make his present day life harder or less healthy than he’d like it to be. The issue of how his abuse lent itself to various behaviorisms is raised in order to address various byproducts of his abuse as FLAWS that he seeks to eliminate, in order to make himself happier and make himself someone that people want to be around more.

And again, don’t get me wrong - for the most part, this is a GOOD thing. The caveat here is just a personal dislike I have for how often these narratives smack of a kind of saviorism, and act like it was only through the grace of Bruce and becoming part of the Batfam that Jason’s ever afforded the opportunity to better himself as a person. I dislike the hell out of this because it not only pairs all too well with a lot of classist shit, it feeds into the singular narrative we’re so often presented with by media about abused kids: the myth of the victim being destined to become a victimizer, it all being an inevitable cycle. The reason this myth is so easily perpetuated is the exact reason I’m so critical of the saviorism in a lot of abused-Jason fics.....people can very easily fall into the trap of assuming that abused kids are likely to grow up to be abusers because they never have anyone to TEACH them that abuse is wrong, or to lead by healthy example. 

The harm of this perception is that it kinda throws under the bus every kid who never lucks out and gets a Bruce Wayne style savior swooping in to not only save them from their abusive environs, but TEACH them that they deserved better and that abuse is wrong. 

Because its like, uh, the thing is, plenty of abused kids who never get a personal mentor or savior figure are fully capable of figuring out for themselves that they deserve better and that people hurting them is wrong, because it makes them feel bad and they don’t like that? 

Many abused kids don’t grow up in a media vacuum where they simply have no access to glimpses of lives different from their own.....we see kids having happier, healthier family lives on TV or in books and are able to figure out that society overall thinks that’s what family is SUPPOSED to look like, and its ours that is the aberration? 

The very fact that we’re taught or have it instilled in us by abusive parents that like, we’re not to bring up instances or examples of our abuse to teachers or friends, that its a SECRET, is like, usually a dead giveaway that there’s something WRONG with it that we’re being instructed - and enforced with abusive consequences - to keep from alerting others to....like, this is basically a blaring siren to a lot of us that no, what’s happening to us ISN’T normal and acceptable, and that’s literally WHY the parent we’re afraid of is so insistent on us keeping the facts of it hidden? 

And so like, tons of abused kids figure out for ourselves the difference between right or wrong, based off nothing more than our own feelings about things and a desire to not be like the people who make us feel miserable - like, never underestimate the power of spite to like, keep a kid from growing up doing the same thing to others that was done to them, lol. 

But point being, lots of kids never get a Bruce Wayne figure to take them away from their abuse and also teach them that they never deserved it and how not to pass the hurt forward by doing the same things to others. And its kinda condescending as fuck that we so often see narratives that take it as so obvious it barely merits commenting on, that like, ‘of COURSE abused kids grow up to become abusers if they don’t have someone else step in and show them a better way’....mmm, no. Fuck that. But you get what I mean.

So like, its a mixed bag. Its a good thing, to see Jason-centric stories that show him addressing his childhood and seeking just a more fuller, happier, healthier life for himself. Its a less great thing to see this narrative presented as all encompassing, with it never being raised that no, Jason actually could figure out he deserved better and how to treat people in ways he’d want to be treated even without a billionaire guardian angel.....NOT because the narrative wherein someone helps an abused kid figure out what was wrong about how they were treated is like, NEVER valid....but rather it just becomes a problem when looked at as a data point against the larger tapestry of fandom-wide works....and noticing that this specific narrative is pretty much the ONLY one raised or treated as valid. With it just being ASSUMED to be the natural course of events and characters, rather than just....the direction society overall has their perceptions of abuse steered towards due to a singular and constantly reinforced abuse narrative shown to us in media.

And the way this all plays back into my point about Tim and what took me down this road in general.....

Is that disconnect I was talking about, lies specifically in HOW Tim is often acknowledged and regarded as an abuse survivor due to his emotional abuse and neglect......with this abuse and its impact on HIM often taking center stage, much the way Jason’s abuse and its impact takes center stage in his narratives.....

BUT with a key difference being that while a lot of Jason’s narratives go on to denote the specific ways his abuse helped SHAPE him and his interactions with others, and raise and address the ways in which he can better himself and his relationships by unpacking all of this openly....

Most of the stories about Tim’s abuse/neglect tend to just STOP at the awareness of its existence and impact on him. Never taking it that one step further to examine how those specific forms of abuse could have additionally SHAPED him....in ways that sometimes negatively impact those around him and his own loved ones, even if this is completely unintentional on his part. The difference, the disconnect, lies solely in how rarely its ever acknowledged that Tim’s own upbringing can and does play directly into how he interacts with people later on in life.....and in ways that he’s fully capable of addressing and bettering himself so as to be happier and healthier just in his own life, and in his relationships, as someone others want to be around.

Aaaaand once you actually examine or consider WHY there’s this discrepancy between the full ramifications of Tim’s abuse and that which various siblings of his underwent, when there’s full agreement that what he did go through absolutely can be termed abusive as well....like, its the implications of what about Tim makes him more naturally resistant or whatever to being shaped by his abuse in ways that have actual negative impact on others in his life, whereas the same isn’t true of say, Jason.....that’s when the red flags start to go up for me, and the unintended subtext starts to get Less Than Stellar, IMO.

Anyway. Just food for thought on the subject of Tim, his upbringing, the various impacts this had on not JUST him but also on how he interacts with others, and ways in which all of this compares and contrasts with how the subject of abuse is raised and depicted in regards to other Batkids.

[woodstockbtswriter]

Reunion

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Word Count: 1.44K

Warning(s): Some heated kissing, but nothing too steamy.

Author’s Note: This is one of several stories inspired by these kissing story prompts. Please enjoy! 💕

Prompt: Kissing Namjoon in a vehicle to say hello.

Reunion

Incheon International was as busy as ever, but the sight of the bustling crowds was oddly comforting. Though an entire season had passed and the whole world had been turned on its head since the last time you were in Seoul, nothing in this airport had changed. Everything from the floor to the ceiling felt familiar, giving you the sense that time stood still here. And somehow, that made the past months feel like less of a loss.

But the comfort you felt the moment you stepped off the plane and into the terminal did not in any way diminish your excitement - nor your urgency. So you didn’t waste much time being nostalgic, and made your way through the airport swiftly and with determination.

Because the quicker you fetched your luggage and met your ride, the sooner you’d be reunited with him. And though in some ways it didn’t feel like it, it had in reality been far too long since you’d seen Kim Namjoon.

While standing on the curb outside baggage claim waiting for the car Namjoon sent for you, you readjusted your facemask and recalled the last night you had spent together.

You’d been edging closer to the line between friendship and something more for a while, but you’d never really discussed your feelings, and neither of you had made any actual moves. Until that night.

After a long evening of deep conversation and a few drinks, Namjoon bid you goodnight - as he often did - with a small kiss placed carefully on your cheek. But this time, his lips lingered on your skin, until you both instinctively turned your faces, and his mouth found yours.

He’d only kissed you for half a second, but it was enough. It was enough to set your heart racing, and your mind reeling.

You’d left Seoul the next morning, with every intention of returning soon to - hopefully - figure things out with Namjoon, but the onset of a global pandemic derailed all your plans.

Over the next few months, you and Namjoon communicated frequently, despite being halfway across the world from each other, quarantined in your own countries. And though you would have much rather talked in person, you eventually discussed the night you kissed.

It was an awkward conversation, made even more awkward over the phone, but you both felt better after having it. You agreed the kiss had been unexpected and spontaneous, but you also agreed that neither of you regretted it. Namjoon confessed to feeling things for you for quite some time, and you admitted the same. But with the future being so uncertain, you were both reluctant to make any kind of commitment to one another. At least, not until you were together again, and had the chance to properly explore your feelings. So, you maintained your friendship and left things open-ended, with a hope that - once you were finally reunited - something more might develop between you.

Now finally, here you were, about to see each other again after so long, and as a shiny black town car pulled up in front of you, the anticipation became almost too much to bear. Just a few more minutes. Just one car ride, and you’d be with Namjoon. Regardless of where your relationship went from here, all you knew was you could hardly wait to throw your arms around him.

The masked driver opened the trunk as soon as he parked, and quickly came around the car to take your suitcase. He then opened the back door and gestured with a bow for you to make yourself comfortable while he loaded the luggage. You gave him a grateful nod as you moved to climb in, but as soon as you sank onto the leather seat, you noticed another person already sitting in the car.

The young man’s face was mostly covered by a black mask, but you would recognize his eye smile anywhere.

“Namjoon!” You exclaimed, not waiting for confirmation before lunging across the seat.

He caught you easily as you collided with him, and wrapped his arms around you as you hugged his neck with all your might.

“I guess we’re not practicing social distancing anymore.” Namjoon chuckled, his hands on your back holding you tight.

“I didn’t travel thousands of miles to stop six feet short.” You quipped, combing your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

Your pulse was pounding, throbbing in your veins. You could not be more surprised - nor pleased - to have found Namjoon waiting for you in the backseat of the car. Being in his strong arms, touching his warm skin and soft hair, inhaling his intoxicating cologne, hearing his smooth voice, feeling his heart beating fast against your chest… Felt so good. It had been a long time since you’d been close to anyone, but the fact that it was Namjoon made the experience even better, because you’d missed him especially. And now that you were with him, you never wanted to be separated again.

You leaned back to look at Namjoon as the driver closed the trunk and reclaimed his post behind the steering wheel. When the car pulled away from the curb and headed out from the airport, Namjoon’s hands moved toward your face.

“May I?” He asked, his eyebrows lifting questioningly as his fingers gently hooked beneath the loops of your facemask.

You nodded slightly, and Namjoon’s hidden smile shone in his eyes again as he carefully removed the cloth covering your nose and mouth. He then drank in the sight of you, and you felt yourself growing warm under the heat of his gaze.

“I almost forgot how beautiful you are.” He said reverently, barely touching his fingertips to your bottom lip. “Almost.”

Your mouth fell open as you attempted to pull in a breath. You couldn’t stop your own fingers from reaching out and pulling Namjoon’s mask down under his chin, exposing his dimpled cheeks and enticing mouth.

“Well, hello.” He flashed his perfect teeth as you admired his handsome face. “Long time, no see.”

You returned his grin, feeling your blood reach its boiling point, and you made a hasty decision. Choosing to act on impulse, you quickly pulled Namjoon’s face toward you and lowered his mouth onto yours.

Namjoon inhaled sharply; he was clearly surprised, but not unreceptive. He returned your affection without hesitation and without restraint, promptly taking charge. Clutching your face with both hands, he pressed firm kisses to your lips, again and again, until you parted them, allowing him to taste you.

You grasped the hair behind his head again, tugging Namjoon closer. Deepening the kiss further, you savored everything he made you feel - physically and emotionally. Your first kiss - if you could even call it that now - paled in comparison; this kiss was so much better in every conceivable way.

As soon as you were sufficiently breathless, Namjoon pulled away, but his hands still cupped your cheeks. He wore a satisfied smirk as he waited for you to say something.

“Hello to you, too.” You finally exhaled, your heartbeat erratic, and Namjoon laughed.

“I have to admit, when I decided to come pick you up instead of waiting for you to arrive…” Namjoon slid his fingers down your arms to find your hands, his eyes becoming crescents as he smiled, “That was exactly the greeting I was hoping for.”

It was your turn to chuckle.

“So does that mean we’re more than friends now?” You asked hopefully, tangling your fingers together.

“I don’t think we were ever just friends,” Namjoon replied, “Not really. But if you’re asking if I want to be with you… Then the answer is ‘yes’. I’ve done a lot of thinking this summer, and if quarantine has shown me anything, it’s that I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

Hearing Namjoon’s confession, you were immediately overwhelmed by more happiness than you’d felt in months.

“I feel the same way. I don’t ever want to say goodbye again.” You beamed. “Although,” You added, teasing, “If we don’t ever say ‘goodbye’, that means no more ‘hello’s.”

Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

“Mmm, I don’t think that’s true.” He disagreed. “I think we can - and should - say ‘hello’ whenever we want.”

You laughed again.

“Okay, well in that case,” You smiled sweetly up at him, “Joonie?”

“Yes?” He grinned back.

You leaned in closer, inclining your face.

“Hi.” You said pointedly, only a breath away from him.

Namjoon smirked again.

“Hello.” He returned your greeting, lifting your chin with one finger, and your eyes fell shut just as he placed another kiss on your flushed lips.

[artisticflutter]

AU August - Day Thirty-One: Free Day!

Thanks to @createandconstruct, I used another site to decide what my final AU would be. I might write up others just because I like AUs and post them occasionally, but this is the official end to AU August for now! Enjoy and see ya for Inktober!

Series: Final Fantasy IX Rating: T Genre: Adventure, Suspense Pairing(s): Zidane and Dagger (not together atm) Summary: For perhaps the first time since they met, Dagger begins to wonder who her protector Zidane is. Warning: Part of the Angel of Death AU. A bit of violence and threats involved. This is after Day 12 but waaaay before Day 30.

It had been a mistake to return with her mother - she realized that when the man, Kuja, approached her in her mother’s chambers and cast a spell on her. When she’d awakened, the castle was far behind. Steiner was at her side with a young Black Mage named Vivi, and she could see Zidane’s blonde hair standing out against the night at a distance.

He’d rescued her.

After her decisions in Burmecia - already seeing the horrible deeds her mother’s soldiers carried out - he’d come back. He needn’t have done so, but she was grateful all the same. He said they were heading to Lindblum, but didn’t say any more. She supposed it was fine - she wanted to go see Cid about this development, but it seemed like Zidane had his own ulterior motives.

Why?

And what were they?

She hadn’t thought about it too much in her haste to leave Alexandria, and then she’d become so focused on trying to stop her mother on her own; she only now recalled Zidane had not been with her when she’d spoken to her mother in Burmecia. Kuja had seemed rather angry before he cast his spell over her, too. Had they perhaps encountered each other?

They decided to rest a little longer. It wasn’t until their campfire was long dead that she decided to get up and approach him. He hadn’t moved from this spot, not even to check on her, but there was a tension around. She wished she knew what had occurred between Alexandria and their current location, but she doubted anyone would tell her. For now, she would focus on one and hope he might tell her something - anything that might reveal more of his reason.

“Zidane?”

His head tipped up, but he didn’t look back. Still, for some reason, she imagined him grinning. “Good evening, Dagger! Feeling better?”

“Yes, I am.” She decided to take a chance and sit down beside him. “Thank you for rescuing me… thank you for taking me to Burmecia, even though you were right. We shouldn’t have gone there.”

“If I didn’t, I had this feeling you might attempt to go there anyway,” Zidane chirped and she felt her face heat. It wasn’t a wrong assumption to make at all. “Still, to go with your mother after seeing Burmecia… why would you do that?”

“... I don’t know. Maybe part of me thought if we were at the castle, we could talk it out, but you’re right. I should have been able to talk to her there.” She lowered her head and sighed. “I wish I knew why she was doing this. I know father was killed in the last war with Burmecia, but we’re at peace. This was… there were families, Zidane. Innocent men, women, and children dead in the streets among soldiers...”

“It’s declaring war, Dagger,” he answered, staring into the woods. “And victor can favor the one who strikes first. That’s all I know though; why your mother’s doing this? I can’t tell you.”

“I know… As much as I wish you could give me an answer, you wouldn’t know anymore than I do.”

She said that, but she wasn’t entirely sure if she believed his words.

“... Zidane, why are you helping me?”

“Why?”

His head turned and she caught his cerulean eyes with a raised brow. “You’ve never asked until now. Something up?”

“Mmm… You could say that.” She pressed a finger to her cheek. “In Lindblum, it’s… I feel like I’m ignorant to the situation as a whole. What my mother’s doing, what Kuja’s plans are… even Uncle Cid was abreast of the situation. I only knew that mother had changed and that I needed to leave to try returning her to normal, but she’s already committed atrocities against another Kingdom.”

“It’s not your fault, Dagger. You don’t have the same methods they do to know what’s going on,” Zidane replied, shaking his head. “Your Uncle mentioned having airship fleets monitoring Alexandria and your mother has her soldiers. You were stuck in the castle until we met.”

“I know, but…”

“No buts. You’re trying now.” He turned his head back to the forest surrounding them. “So, for that, I’ll just tell ya. I’ve been given orders to protect you.”

Her eyes widened and she stared at him. “What? By who?”

“Ah, that part I can’t tell you,” he said, grinning. Something about it felt off - no, not off, but… dangerous? “Just know that we’re not gonna have any repeat performances. If Kuja lays a hand on you again, I’ll cut it off.”

Her insides felt cold, but Zidane just continued to grin. It was like he hadn’t just threatened to dismember someone.

But he had.

Nothing was wrong with it, but everything was.

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 1: Open Season

Work was busier than expected on Monday, but the deep dive into the first episode of S8 begins now!

Scene 1: Narration, Elizabeth and Nathan, Lucas

The awkwardness between Elizabeth and Nathan was...palpable at first lol.The best part about the non-narrated part of the scene is twofold: Nathan interacting with Jack is a well-needed and very nice touch, and of course it’s always nice to see that Nathan is patient concerning Elizabeth’s situation and reassures her that she can let him know when she’s ready to go to dinner with him.

My problem with the whole thing is that...if she hasn’t spoken up about wanting that dinner date yet, and she’s not saying yes she’d like to get dinner with you now, it’s like...any sane person would assume at this point in the story that Elizabeth isn’t interested in Nathan. Worse, Nathan isn’t the kind of man who wouldn’t take a hint. I’m pretty sure this is why the opening scene felt just a little bit off. I think they ought to have let Elizabeth be a little more enthusiastic about the idea while still failing to commit to it. 

To be fair to the writers, I can’t imagine it was easy for them to figure out how to open this season after such a long time gap. They let a whole winter elapse between last season and this one. How do you explain literally no major development with the love triangle in that amount of time? Especially after the way the last season ended?

Random consideration: the camera focuses on Elizabeth’s face a lot and makes her wedding ring clearly visible.

Boom, the flashback with Lucas. I think having him leave out of jealousy was a better idea than having his mother fall ill (we’ve certainly seen that enough at this point), and maybe we should also consider the fact that while Lucas was gone, Nathan didn’t really jump on the opportunity to woo Elizabeth himself.

I wonder if we’ll get an explanation for that or not. What makes Lucas so sure that after 4+ months, Elizabeth hasn’t started courting Nathan? Maybe he kept in touch with someone in town? Or he just knows Elizabeth well enough to know she wouldn’t feel quite ready to commit in that time frame anyway?

I did really like Lucas’s opening scene with Elizabeth. Honestly, he was quite likable, here: admitting he was wrong, admitting his shortcomings, apologizing. All good things. “I’m ashamed I let my jealousy get the best of me... The worst of me.” That’s such a good line.

It didn’t feel equal in enthusiasm to the Nathan scene, but I’ll have more thoughts on that later. I do believe it was on purpose.

--

Scene 2: Clara and Jesse’s Fight, The Café

I like the concept of some marital discord for Clara and Jesse. Marriage is easier said than done and like any serious relationship, it’s a lot of consistent maintenance. It starts out pretty well, with Jesse sleeping in the other bedroom. At this point I fully expected to find out Clara kicks in her sleep or she snores a lot or something that’s funny to hear about but really difficult to actually deal with in real life. Color me disappointed later, but I’ll get to it.

--

Scene 3: The Mercantile, Ned, Florence, Carson

This just set up things with Faith’s situation so there’s not much to say, but as always I do love Florence. I hope she gets some good scenes this season. And I love Ned so I hope the same for him.

Henry coming in to mail a letter was interesting, though. I’m not sure it’ll mean anything in particular later, but...it’s possible.  Then again, maybe he’s just here to set our expectations regarding Faith’s return (of course it’s a long trip from Chicago) or Carson’s worry (a bit unreasonable unless he expected to hear from her at a specific stop).

--

Scene 4: Nathan, Dylan

Dylan is such an incredible scumbag. The spurs were a nice touch. He says things almost fondly (“She’s growing up... My little girl.”) and then wants nothing to actually do with Allie. 

The guy’s actually a pretty good actor. The way he segues into being glad for Allie’s sake that Nathan wasn’t the one killed. If the next words out of his mouth weren’t a demand for go-away money you’d almost feel those words were genuine!

--

Scene 5: Lee and Rosemary’s Return + Faith’s Return + Dylan Part Two

Lots of energy in this scene, both good and bad. I always appreciate what Lee and Rosemary bring to the show. I genuinely just don’t care that much about Faith. I’m ready to ship her with Cowboy Brett Brewer. He gets a name, which makes me wonder if he’s gonna show up again. :3

Lol at Carson’s jelly face:

I MEAN...

Not a fan of Faith’s outfit...but to be fair we’ve never really seen Faith outside of uniform. That just doesn’t strike me as something she would wear to travel in...?

Dylan approaching Jack and Jack speaking to him was so hilarious to me. “A puppy!” It’s extra funny after he looked afraid of Rosemary. Nathan intervening was undoubtedly for the best, but I can’t imagine why he would have approached Elizabeth or Jack. He doesn’t know who they are, or their connection to Nathan. Maybe too convenient. Might have been better to have him approach someone else entirely--like Opal.

--

Scene 6: Nathan and Allie

It’s great Nathan’s officializing the adoption but he had literal years to do this and only chooses now, when there’s a threat? Legally Dylan doesn’t have a leg to stand on even in that day and age (he did the abandoning in the first place + Nathan is a lawman)... It kind of ruined the cute moment for me, and I think it will come back in a bad way later.

I don’t mind Nathan’s inability to confide in Elizabeth in this situation. At this point, she doesn’t need to know, and the situation is just weird enough that he probably doesn’t think he needs to dump his own problems on her.

--

Scene 7: Carson and Faith

I’m the jerk who just chanted “BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP” during this scene in my head. I just...don’t care about Faith and Carson.

--

Scene 8: Bill and The Gals

I hate that they keep retconning Bill’s ability to cook well with every passing season. In season 2 and 3 he was more than satisfactory. In S4 he made dinner for Dottie and it was really nice. Now he’s godawful and doesn’t taste his own shit before letting other people try it? Come on.

This is the kind of stuff the writing team needs to cut out of the story. It’s not funny. 

Worse, outspoken Fiona lying to Bill? I just don’t see it. At least Molly told him the truth...but I still am just SO tired of seeing this shit. It makes me think new writers only watched the last couple of seasons instead of all of them.

Also, if Bill is literally running the cafe most of the time, if he was bad at cooking, then...the place would have shut down ages ago. What they should lean into if they wanna do a cooking joke is that Bill isn’t good at creating recipes from scratch. Maybe he doesn’t have a strong sense of taste (my husband has this issue so it’s the first thing that comes to mind) so he’s likely to over-do things like spice or sugar or salt on accident. There’s also a lot of room for jokes about his “taste” in things that can come of it (women, clothes, et cetera).

--

Scene 9: Lee’s Pants

Good scene, 10/10, wouldn’t change a thing. I hope this pants thing becomes a running gag. This is the good kind of humor I want in my life. And I like that Jesse wants to emulate Lee. It’s wholesome. 

--

Scene 10: Rosemary and Clara

The ribbon as a tissue was funny, but it was just SLIGHTLY too over the top for me.

--

Scene 11: Faith and Carson Again...............

“Were you jealous of that cowboy?” I think he should be. The cowboy is better. I don’t give a damn about these characters. And I genuinely hate that the strumming is Carson’s Thing Now. At the very least we should get some Carson and Bill doing a duet together which would be cool.

It just felt like it was shilling Paul and had nothing to do with the characters.

--

Scene 12: Mmm Money

This is arguably the most interesting scene in the episode. Lucas nodded at Nathan. Nathan went to Lucas for money. Lucas didn’t need to get the scoop to find out why Nathan needed it to loan it to him. Elizabeth is officially the least interesting part of the love triangle.

They treat her like she’s such a prize to be won, but I’m starting to worry that she’s become the new Lorigail on the show.

Anyway this scene had some gay vibes and I liked them.

--

Scene 13: Rosemary and Elizabeth Catch Up

YES. GOOD SCENE. It starts off fun and it gets serious, and the transition feels really natural. “Did he have reason to be [jealous]?” I’m genuinely glad this is in the episode. It needed to be. I hope Rosemary continues to ask the hard questions.

Elizabeth needs to face either dating one of them, or dating neither of them so that everybody can get on with their lives. If you’re not that enthusiastic about either of them I’d say...maybe don’t date either of them idk.

--

Scene 14: Nathan and Bill Talk

"If he sees you with me, then...” The problem with this scene is uh...twofold, let’s say.

Issue 1: ThEN HE WILL WHAT, NATHAN? WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE BEFORE THAT WAS SO BAD if he’s not a hard criminal? Maybe an example would be useful here...?

Issue 2: The old Bill Avery would have heard “if he SEES YOU with ME” and mentally been like, “all right so it’s only bad if he SEES ME” and spied on Nathan.

Nathan wanting Bill to stay behind in case Dylan doubles back isn’t a terrible idea, but it almost comes across more like...the writers just want Nathan alone.

--

Scene 15: Oil

I like the discussion and that Hickam gets to do something. I feel like Henry is low-key advising against shooting the well, and that Lucas and Hickam will end up doing it and causing an issue. It’s just setting up for the future and it’s nice to see those kinds of scenes in the series again!

--

Scene 16: Jesse and Lee

I’d like this scene more if I felt it gave us ANY insight into the problem Jesse and Clara are having. It mostly comes across like Jesse gets home and does nothing at all until bedtime and Clara is lonely. Could have been a better scene. It’s mostly just repetitive right now.

--

Scene 17: Nathan Cancels the Date

“Tomorrow’s Saturday.” Nathan’s like uhhhhh. This actually works really well to do what it’s supposed to do. By that I mean, he seems “off” so Elizabeth realizes he’s a bit stressed and leaving town = mountie business = dangerous.

I kind of wish Rosemary and Elizabeth would talk more about this, but maybe that’s coming in an episode soon...?

--

Scene 18: The Barbershop

Just a cute nice scene that shows a good friendship between Fiona, Clara, and Faith. I like this stuff. Keep it coming, Hallmark!

--

(Skipping Scene 19 because it’s just Nathan riding around...)

--

Scene 20: Lee and Rosemary Scheme

I really enjoyed this little bit where they decide to buy something for Clara and Jesse and we don’t get to see what it is. Super wholesome and very fun!

--

Scene 21: Nathan gets Ambushed

This scene was absolutely wild. Probably one of the best scenes like this that they’ve ever done. Dylan taking Nathan’s hat, “Take care of my little girl” after he takes the money and Nathan’s gun. It was super good.

Also, not too fake that Nathan was on the ground that long. If you got roped off of your horse you’d have the wind knocked out of you super hard lmao.

--

Scene 22: Bill & The Girls

Clara and Fiona are so cute. Bill playing the “Dad” figure to them both is really nice and it’s good for him. “I’m a lawman. I get to sneak.” What a Bill response. 

--

(Skipping Scene 23 since it’s just Nathan finding his horse.)

--

Scene 24: Lucas visits with Elizabeth

Lucas and Elizabeth are flirting via a nursery rhyme. I...don’t like that LOL. But Lucas’s “Helen Bouchard taught me to read and after that I was on my own.” She really sounds unloving. This was a pretty decent scene, though.

Also, Grand Isle Louisiana had a major hurricane in 1909 and 1915.

They also seem to have been hit by more mild hurricanes in 1916 and 1917, but the 1915 one was a Cat4, so...the most notable.

--

Scene 25: Rosemary and Lee in the Dress Shop

This tries to solve the issue of Clara and Jesse’s marital problems, but it doesn’t actually do that. “Let Jesse read when he gets home.” “I’ll talk to Jesse.” Meh.

--

Scene 26: Barbershop

“Why do this when you’re so good with women’s hair?” I fully expected Fiona to say, “That’s where all the hot gossip is, of course.” I do like  her gumption, though!

--

Scene 27: Nathan Finds Dylan

“I had to let you ambush me, so I had grounds to put you away.” COLD BUT EFFECTIVE. I appreciate this.

Imagine getting to be this smug. I wish it were me.

Anyway, long-term thoughts on this are mostly that...there is just no reasonable way Dylan’s story is over yet. It’s too juicy of a storyline to let go this easily. Allie is going to find out what Nathan did and she’s going to struggle to come to terms with it, especially after her grandfather really did try to turn his life around. Why couldn’t it be the same for her father? Why couldn’t she get lucky like that?

I hope it feels satisfying, whatever they choose to do. Otherwise this was just wrapped up too neatly/too quickly.

--

Scene 28: Nathan Returns

Very good scene. Nathan’s in a good mood and he does my favorite trope of all time when one person in the relationship has a child: “Why don’t we all go?” You already all know each other, so why not? It’s wholesome and good, and it shows he doesn’t care how he gets to spend time with Elizabeth, as long as he does.

Also, it takes a lot of the pressure off of her for the duration of the date and at its conclusion. This was a cute and good scene, one of the better they’ve had, I think.

--

Scene 29: Jesse and Lee Talk

This was a nice attempt at a talk, but it really comes off like Jesse has stopped loving Clara for no reason. That his romantic interest in her is what is causing the failure in their relationship.

The problem is: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS CAUSING IT. NOBODY EVER SAID. 

I agree that love isn’t “just” a feeling or “just” an emotion. It’s ALSO a choice. Marriage is a commitment you choose to continue every day. That is all good.

“Choose love. Then you feel it.” is probably some of the worst dialogue they’ve put in the show, though. Yuck. It left a bad taste in my mouth. It feels like it’s shaming people who legitimately fall out of love or who are in bad relationships. “If only you chose to work harder.”

I don’t think that was their intention at all, but it really soured the scene. I would have MUCH rather have had Lee get Jesse to talk about what’s wrong and then offer him pointers on how he could do better. Maybe he’s stressed out and losing himself in books, or he wishes Clara would sit and read with him because that’s something he always wanted. Or maybe Clara would be down for reading time if he read to her while she did her sewing.

There’s so much they could have done here to really send this home, but it didn’t work very well. At the very least Lee could have said, instead of ‘choose love’: CHOOSE COMMUNICATION. Make sure she knows you still feel that way about her.

The biggest thing is like, Lee could also be very encouraging in saying like, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever but just because things settle down doesn’t mean the love is less.

THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD STUFF THEY COULD HAVE WRITTEN FOR THIS but they chose “Choose love. Then you feel it.” WTF. That’s awful advice.

--

Scene 30: Jesse and Clara

Him bringing her flowers was a nice touch, and her getting him the book was also nice. The tandem bike was SO unexpected to me and I loved it. It’s just goofy enough that it works. The best part is that they know it’s not going to fix anything, but it’s still a fun and nice thing to do, and that’s wonderful for Rosemary and Lee. They both like to make the people they care about happy.

--

Scene 31: Mama Bouchard

MILF ALERT.

Elizabeth is just so shook at all of this she doesn’t say a damn thing for so long it made my palms feel sweaty.

“Someone ought to take an interest in your writing, don’t you think?” I rewatched the episode to understand the tone, and it’s a little hoity-toity/uppity, but she actually doesn’t sound condescending. It’s good for an editor to meet the author, after all, and meet to talk about their writing/book. This has always been custom, even in the early 1900s. Authors didn’t usually get their work published by an editor they’d never met (though of course, you will find some exceptions). 

From the little we saw, Helen seems fine. The preview for the next episode tells us she’s UH, AN EDITOR DOING HER JOB, so I’m not looking forward to the editor being the bad guy, but I guess I’ll have to deal with that when it arrives. (To be clear, Elizabeth has never proved to the audience that she’s a Good Writer, let alone a Great Writer. She’s also not experienced which means her work probably NEEDS SOME WORK.)

Anyway, Elizabeth is immediately rude as HELL. Nobody can make an excuse for this. Helen isn’t THAT big of a deal. There are other publishers. Your father is filthy rich. If she changes her mind about your book you can pub to someone via your father if you have to. Like...Helen wouldn’t have taken you on if she didn’t see any potential in you. 

Even if it was a big deal, Elizabeth has NEVER been a flake. EVER. 

This is a classic case of a writer forcing the character to go out of character in order to bend to what the plot dictates. 

If I were Nathan, I’d drop Elizabeth like a brick.

How to fix this scene? I’ll honestly have to think about that for a while. This was the first hint of truly bad writing this season. The bit with Lee and “choose love” was careless writing, but this scene with Nathan is just Bad.

The thing is, I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. I know they put this in there so that it looks like she’ll choose Lucas because she never even goes out with Nathan, and then BOOM. I know it’s meant to be this big thing about how she’s scared to feel anything for Nathan because Lucas is the safer option and also a good man (so why would she fall for the more frightening option?).

But this was not the right way to do this type of scene. I hope to God in the next episode someone says something about it. Allie could tell her it was rude and it hurt Nathan’s feelings/you shouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t want to. It’d be fully in character for her. Rosemary could also say something similar. If they do, I might be able to forgive this...but if it’s not called attention to by the other characters, then it’s a massive failure as a scene to me.

--

Did I miss anything? Do you want my thoughts on something in particular? Shoot me a message HERE and I’ll do my best to answer! 

[moon-in-daylight]

Save you (Part 2) / Dhawan!Master x reader

clSummary: Traveling with The Doctor had shown you incredible things: The existence of extraterrestrial live, the possibility of time travel and the most beautiful and remote places you could have ever imagine... But being with her had also made you develop some strong values. To be kind and always help those in need. But would you be up to help The Master now that he is the one who needs to be saved?

Words: 6594

What’s written in italics are the reader’s memories.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

A few hours had passed, maybe more. Or maybe less. Time was perceived different when dying, as The Master was experiencing.

He wasn’t sure of how much time had passed since you had left the console room, but he did know it was too much time for his liking. He was getting bored. Also, he would never admit it out loud, but he kind of enjoyed having you around. Basically because he could mess you up and play with you all he wanted, which according to what he told himself, was a consolation during his final moments. If he had known how fun it was to have a pet, he would have probably gotten one earlier. Or probably not.

Regardless his agonizing state, he got up from the couch he had been in practically since the both of you escaped from Gallifrey, and ignoring the weight of his body pushing him back, he slowly dragged himself to wherever room you were in.

He had to hold himself against the wall as he walked, knowing that he would fall to the ground if he tried to stand by his own foot. Dying was the most infuriating thing he had got to experience. The Master would have been okay with having an instantaneous death, one in which he hadn’t had to witness the vulnerable and humiliating state he was in. Being dead was infinitely better than dying.

His efforts finally got him to your room, the one the TARDIS had created for you to stay in. The Master was surprised to find that you had already settled in like you were in your own home. That’s what humans were like, always appropriating of everything and making themselves at home where they’re not wanted.

Before getting into the room, he took a few seconds to try and regain the little composure he still had left. It was humiliating enough for him to witness his own decay, he needed to look as threatening as possible in front of you. To live up to his reputation, since that was all he had left now.

Finally, he opened the door without even knocking first, only to find you deeply asleep on the desk, your head buried in one of the books you had used as the sourced of your investigation.

To be honest, it surprised him the way you had committed to this. He believed that humans were lazy, that they gave up at the most minimal inconvenience. But seeing all the notes you had been taken and the fact that you had fallen asleep with the pen still in your hand made him reconsider that. Not that all that effort was going to pay you off, but it was still impressive.

And the thing that truly amazed him the most was that all of that effort was being put on him, the person that hadn’t done anything but lying and playing with you. He was supposed to be your enemy, and you still did everything in your hand to help him. What wouldn’t you do for someone you actually loved?

“You must have really fallen for O.” The Master sighed under his breathe, observing the way your chest calmly went up and down. He stood against the doorframe as he kept watching you, your face almost angelic as you didn’t move a muscle. “You’re a lot less annoying when you’re asleep. Why can’t you be like this all the time?”

He almost smiled involuntary when you, obviously, gave him no answer. You were the weirder human he had ever met, noisy and chaotic, yet always well intended. Sometimes you were too easy to deceive, excessively trusted, and sometimes you could read his intentions from miles away. It was the way you always ran to trouble, instead of running away from it. The way you constantly got yourself into life or death situations. And most importantly, the stupid urge he had of taking you out of them. He had never been protective of a human pet before. But it was different with you. You were his human.

Without giving it much thought, he carefully placed a blanket around your shoulders.

That was the main reason he hated having you around. He didn’t like what he was when you were there, but no matter how hard he tried, it was like he always got dragged back to you. It had started back when he was pretending to be O. You had only spent around a day and a half together, but that time seemed to be more than enough for him to develop a sixth sense when it came to protect you.

As much as he claimed he hated that feeling, he hated the possibility of you being hurt or killed even more.

The Master turned around to leave, frustrated and angry because of those feelings.

Dying was making him soft.

You adjusted your suit before following The Doctor, O, and the rest of the fam inside of Daniel Barton’s birthday party. The place was full of people, all dressed in really expensive clothing and walking around like that was their daily live. You did your best to pretend you were comfortable in that space.

When The Doctor told you to blend in and keep an eye on the VOR’s CEO, you made sure to go alongside O.

“I’ve never been to anywhere like this before.” You confessed the MI6 agent as you walked beside him. “I don’t know how to ‘blend in’.”

“Me neither. Analyst here, new to undercover work.” He gave you a reassuring smile. “I suppose we should do what everybody else is doing.”

“Which is?”

“Having a good time.” O grabbed two glasses of champagne from a waiter that was walking around and handed you one. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know…” You looked around the place. You didn’t know how to play any of the games, so it didn’t really matter what you chose. Finally, you decided to point out the place in which you saw less people. “What about there?”

With a kind smile, O offered you his arm. Taking it, the both of you walked to the game you had chosen.

The thing was that you couldn’t stop thinking about that conversation the both of you had had earlier. The Doctor had interrupted you in the worst possible moment. But then again, was it okay for you to know what O was going to tell you? Maybe The Doctor kept it from you for a good reason. Were you entitled to sneak around her past behind her back? Trying to get out of your mind, you tried to focus on the game, which was really hard since you didn’t know the rules of it. When it was your time to roll the dices, you extended your hand to O.

“Blow for good luck.” You asked him. You had seen it in movies, so you thought it wouldn’t hurt to try and summon your luck with that little ritual. O did as you told him with a wide smile. You shook the dices in your hand for a few seconds before finally rolling them. Everyone at the table started to cheer. “What happened? Did we win?”

“No.” He shook his head slightly.

“I didn’t know what I was doing anyway.”

“You know what they say.” He turned to you. “Lucky at dice, unlucky at love.”

“Do they really say that?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No.” O admitted with a chuckle, causing you to laugh too. “I’m just saying that the luck I just gave you must have ended up somewhere.”

“Let’s hope you’re right.” As it was a habit for you when you got nervous, you placed some of your hair behind your ear. “O, about what you were saying earlier of Gallifrey…?”

“Mmm?” He insisted you to finishing your question.

“How did you gather all that information?”

“You’re not the first ones to travel with The Doctor.” He informed you. “I interviewed some of her former companions and they told me some very useful things.”

“They just stopped travelling with The Doctor?” You frowned, confused. It was stupid to think you were one of the first humans to be lucky enough to travel with her, but you hadn’t really contemplated the possibility of other people doing it before you.

O nodded his head before looking at you in the eye. “I suppose not everyone is made for that kind of life. Are you planning on travelling with her forever?” His question moved something inside of you. You had never considered the possibility of leaving your life with The Doctor.

“I don’t know, I never thought about all of this having an end.” You admitted, looking away. “I suppose someday I might go back home and settle down…” You shrugged. “But not for the moment.” He gave you a sympathetic smile. “So… What happened with that war on Gallifrey?”

“Apparently, it was one of the most cruel and bloody ones in the history of the Time Lords.” His eyes observed your every reaction at what he was saying. “They fought for so long that they got out of control. Children, elderly, it didn’t matter. People were killed day after day for centuries. That was until The Doctor came up with a drastic solution to put an end to the massacre.”

“What did she do?” You immediately asked, watching her playing cards from afar. O stayed silent. “What was the solution?”

“Genocide.” He finally answered as you tried to process everything. “She killed off her entire species.”

“The Doctor wouldn’t–“

Before you could finish your sentence, he cut you off. “Think about it. You’ve travelled the universe, Y/N.” He looked into your eyes while he spoke. “Have you ever met another Time Lord?” You silently shook your head. “That’s because there are none left.”

In that moment, you watched Barton get in the room from the corner of your eye.

“Don’t tell her I told you any of that.” O was quick to add. You watched The Doctor go after Daniel Barton to interrogate him.

“But why have you told this to me and not to the others?” You questioned. He grabbed your hand and looked you in the eye.

“Because I care about you.” You felt your cheeks blushing at his words. It was stupid to think about that kind of stuff in a situation like that, but you couldn’t deny you felt attracted to him. “I want you to be safe. I gave you this information so that you could be prepared for anything. You decide what to do with it.” His eyes were on yours as he carefully caressed your hand. “And if you decide you want to stop travelling with her for a while, I have a spare bedroom. Maybe you could come work with me. If you want, of course.” You returned him the smile as you both went back with the group.

You had never pictured The Doctor as a killer, and certainly not as a person who would be able to commit genocide against her own people. She had been nothing but a pacifist since the first time you had met her. Maybe O was lying to you, or maybe he was simply wrong.

But that story would explain why The Doctor was so secretive about her origins, and why she never wanted to take you see her home planet. The more you thought about it, the more sense it made. If what O had said was true, could you trust her anymore?

You had been consumed by your thoughts for the last half hour. O had told you that you could do whatever you wanted with that information. Should you confront her about it? Should you act like nothing had happened? Should you just stop travelling with her?

Those questions were running through your mind as all of you followed Daniel Barton to the airport. Unfortunately, you didn’t have much time to think about what your move towards The Doctor should be, as the CEO of VOR was running away inside of his private plane. Not even contemplating the idea of letting him get away, The Doctor began to run to the moving vehicle.

Her, you and the fam got inside the plane with relatively easily, but when you looked around you found that O was getting left behind. You extended him your hand as he finally got to the plane, helping him get on board. He commented you how he had always been bad at running as the others ran to the main cabin. You followed them.

“Never been good at sprinting?” The Doctor asked O about what he had said earlier.

“I was the last one in every race at school.” He justified himself as he made his way to sit beside you.

“No, no, no. I read your file. You were a champion sprinter.” The alien insisted. You looked at the MI6 agent in confusion, seeing something change in his features.

“Mmm. Got me. Well done.” His tone was darker, colder as he spoke.

“What's going on, Doc?” Graham asked. You weren’t the only one that had noticed his sudden change of behavior.

“I don't know.” She squirmed her eyes, trying to understand what was going on.

“You'd best take a look out of the window.” ‘O’ pointed out the small plane’s window you were sitting next to. You did as he told just to find his house flying through the sky.  

“How's your house out there?” The eldest of your human friends asked again.

“Bit Wicked Witch of the West, but you get the gist. Maybe. Maybe not.” The so–called agent made his way to the front of the plane. “Oh, come on, Doctor, catch up. You can do it. Come on.”

“Oh!” The Time Lord exclaimed like she had suddenly figured everything out. The rest, on the other hand, couldn’t be anymore lost.

“That's...that's my name, and that is why I chose it.” A big, mischievous smile appeared on his face, one so different to the ones he had been given you all day. “Oh, so satisfying. Doctor, I did say look for the spymaster. Or should I say spy... Master? Hi.” He waved his hand at The Doctor

“You can't be.”

“Oh, I can be. I very much am.”

What where they talking about? If The Doctor had known that man from before, how could have he tricked her into making her believe he was O?

“Who is he, Doctor?” You finally dared to ask. As it turned out, whoever that person was had been lying about his identity this whole time. Chances were he had lied about The Doctor being a killer too.

“I'm her best enemy, love.” He looked at you in the eye, impersonating O’s calmer tone. “Call me Master.”

This ‘Master’ proceeded to explain how he had infiltrated MI6 and how he had been in an alliance with Barton and the creatures made of light all along. You couldn’t help but to feel stupid for having once believed anything he had said. When The Doctor went to check on Barton, she realized there was a bomb in his place, set by The Master.

The Doctor couldn’t do anything to deactivate the bomb and a minute later the plane burst out in flames.

“One last thing. Something you should know in the seconds before you die. Everything that you think you know... is a lie.” He told The Doctor.

With all of your strength, you gripped to one of the seats, but couldn’t help your fingers to slip. You closed your eyes, scared as you had ever been as you felt your body flying away. Heights were one of the things you feared the most, and realizing that you were about to fall to the ground from about 30,000 feet was making you live your worst nightmare. You thought you were doomed when you suddenly felt The Master grabbing you by your arm just in time.

“Got you.” He laughed before teleporting the both of you away.

Your whole body was sore from the uncomfortable position you had fallen asleep in. You didn’t know how much time you had been asleep, but you did know it hadn’t been much. Plus it hadn't been a restoiring sleep either, since you were almost as tired as you were when you fell asleep. As you got up from the chair you had been for the last hours, you felt your body longing to lay down and have some proper rest. Sadly for you, you didn’t have time for that.

Well, at least you supposed you didn’t. In fact, you had no idea of how many time you had before The Master passed away. And for that reason you needed to work faster, if you truly wanted to save him.

There was no denying that you had had second thoughts about helping him. You knew he wouldn’t be up to anything good if he did survive this. But if you left him to die on his own you would be just like that part you hated about him, wouldn’t you?

As you observed the last notes you had written before falling asleep, you realized there was a blanket around your shoulders. You didn’t remember grabbing it, but you supposed you must had gotten cold in the last moments before you passed out.

Giving it no second thought, you walked out of your room and walked to where The Master was with the intention to check on him. He was lying on the couch where you had left him to rest earlier, his eyes closed and his body immobile. You walked slowly to him and placed two fingers on his neck, looking for his pulse. You weren’t sure if his pulse worked like yours, so when didn't find it you moved your fingers to the other side of his neck. Maybe you were too late…

“I’m still alive.” He muttered bitterly without opening his eyes as you finally found the beating of his heart, their rhythm being delicate, but still faster than yours. His voice sounded even weaker than it did the last time you had spoken to him.

“Just checking.” Putting your hand away from him, you sighed.

It was strange to be there again, you thought as you watched your surroundings. You had first been there when you thought he was O, but since you had found out about his true identity, the same place had a different vibe. O’s house had always been The Master’s TARDIS, they looked exactly the same –except for the console that was on the center of the room now– but they seemed like worlds apart to you. You had always liked the place anyway, even though it was messy and a bit chaotic. It suited him.

Still thinking about that, you started to prepare some tea. You didn’t even bother to ask The Master if he wanted some, knowing that he would immediately reject anything that came from you. You silently prepared an extra cup for him.

When the drink was ready, you placed it in a small table next to the place where he was lying.

“I didn’t ask you for that.” He said as he watched you sit across from him.

“I know.” You shrugged and took a sip of your own cup just to put it away when the hot liquid burning your tongue. The Master laughed at you. “What’s so funny?”

“You are.” He stated. He couldn’t hold back a cough while he tried to sit. “Have you given up yet?” You immediately shook your head. “You’re wasting your time. Don’t you think that if there was a possible solution I would have come up with it already?” The Master grabbed the cup that you had prepared for him, the hot that the mug irradiated heating up his chilled hands. “The Cyberium is an AI, it’s not a common cold like the ones you have on Earth. It knows what it’s doing and it won’t stop until I’m dead.”

“Neither will I.” The Master laughed again at your impertinence before taking a small sip of tea.

“It will be useless.” He looked at you in the eye. Not being able to hold his gaze, you looked down at your cup.

“Well, if I don’t get to cure you, at least you won’t be dying on your own.” You looked back at him to find that he was still staring at you. “I need you to tell me everything you know about the Cyberium, the books don’t say much about it.”

“There’s not much to know.” He said. “The Cyberium it’s the essence of all cyberknowledge.”

“How does it choose its host? Why did it choose you?” You kept asking. For some reason The Master was being especially receptive, you needed to take advantage of it.

“Because I told it to.” He shrugged, letting the cup back on the table next to him. “I promised it control over the universe, and when that plan failed it decided I needed to get punished.” He reminded you. “The Cyberium needs a capable host, one that will do as it pleases. If the host refuses to help or fails at their task, they are killed.” He pushed away some of the hair falling on his face.

You kept looking at The Master, trying to formulate the question in your mind. After a few seconds, you realized there was no right way to ask that.

“Are you afraid to die?” The words simply came out of your lips, making him form a weakened smile.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He avoided answering. “You keep getting yourself into life or death situations and I’m not longer going to be there to get you out of them.”

The widest smile appeared on your face when he finally admitted what you already knew, that all the times he had saved you hadn’t been fortuity.

“Then it’s my time to return the favor, don’t you think?” You told him, a plan already forming in your head.

The Master didn’t even reply to that, he just gave you a concerned look as he laid back on the couch, his body shivering and aching. He was way too exhausted to keep the conversation any longer.

Him being nicer than usual worried you. It was surprisingly pleasant to have a conversation with him that didn’t end up with the both of you arguing, but that only meant he was getting worse. He didn’t even had enough strength to put up a fight. That was a sign.

A sign that you didn’t have much time left.

Next thing you knew, you were in O’s house, only that it was different now.

There was a big, red console in the middle of the living room, like the one The Doctor had on her TARDIS. Was that a TARDIS? But how could he have one?

You waited until Barton left to start asking your questions.

“Who are you really?” The Master turned to you when he heard you.

“Oh, sorry.” He laughed. “Completely forgot you were there. Can I bring you anything? Fancy another cup of tea there, darling?”

“You have a TARDIS.” You ignored his mocking and kept digging for answers. “You said you and The Doctor knew each other from way back, but she didn’t recognized your appearance. Are you a Time Lord?”

“Smart one, eh?” The Master confirmed your theory in his own twisted way. “I must say you weren’t that bright when you fell for O though. You made it too easy to manipulate you. Such a shame my cover blew up so soon, I had great plans for you.”

You bit your lip as you did your best not to fall in his game.

“If you’re in fact a Time Lord, everything you said about Gallifrey was a lie.” You figured out, feeling ashamed for having doubted of the Doctor.

“No, I was being serious about that.” You frowned as he seemed to speak with all the sincerity in the world. “The Time War did happen, and your precious Doctor ended it by killing everyone. Cross my hearts, you can ask her if you don’t believe me.”

“If she killed off all of your species how can you be here?”

“I wasn’t in Gallifrey when that happened.” He clarified. “I was the only one who survived.”

“Why would I believe anything you said?” The Master laughed when you asked that and got closer to you.

“It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not.” His eyes looked into yours, the complicity his gaze showed earlier now gone. “But if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be asking so many questions about it.” You stayed silent and looked away, not being able to hold his stare. “In her defense I will say they were all monsters.”

“Then why do you hate her so much?” You looked back at him as he laughed in a manic way. He was completely out of his mind.

“Your pathetic, useless human brain wouldn’t even begin to understand.” His voice was dead serious as he spoke, his face inches away from yours as he looked at you with pure hatred. “We’ve known each other for thousands of years, since we were just little children at the Academy. You pitiful humans can’t even conceive what it’s like to live more than a few years, how could you comprehend what it’s like to have the kind of relationship The Doctor and I have?”

You were about to reply when the TARDIS began to make an extremely loud sound. Visibly upset, The Master walked to the console and after looking at the screen, he hit it repeatedly. He looked in your direction, frustration all over his face.

“How has she got there?”  Before you could ask him what was he talking about, he spoke again. “It doesn’t matter. It’s nothing I can’t deal with. I’m going to take care of it.”

The Master began to set the controls of his TARDIS, setting up a destination.

“You better change your clothes to something more fitting.” He told you without even looking at you. “We’re going to 1834, we’re paying our mutual friend a visit.” When he saw you stood still he insisted again in a more demanding tone. “Go change! NOW!”

Slowly, you dragged yourself deeper into his TARDIS, getting to the wardrobe and trying to find something suiting for the 19th century. A few minutes after getting yourself into one of the most uncomfortable dresses you had ever wore, The Master came looking for you. You couldn’t help but notice he had also changed himself.

“Come on, The Doctor is waiting for us.” He rushed you, grabbing you by the arm and guiding you out of the TARDIS.

He took you through the crowded streets without saying a single word. You weren’t sure of what was going on. Sure, he had said he was going to take you to see The Doctor, but why would he take you to see her? And how had she ended up in 1834? Last time you had seen her, she was in the plane crash. Oh damn, the airplane. Well, if The Doctor was alive and in 1834, you hoped the rest of your friends had also survived.

As you entered a notoriously big building, you noticed some strange device in The Master’s hand. You didn’t have time to ask him what it was as he took you both inside of an exposition full of people.

“Ladies and gentleman!” He shouted, getting the room’s attention without letting go of his grip on you. “See the incredible shrinking device! Want to be smaller, ladies? You can!” Pointing the device at one of the ladies in the room, he turned her into a small doll, causing panic to take over the entire building.

So, that was what the mysterious device was for. And that was how he had turned the real O into the tiny doll he had showed on the plane, now that you recalled it. Barely giving them time to react, The Master proceeded to shrink random man. Letting you go for a second, he grabbed both of the miniaturized bodies from the floor and showed them to you.

“Aren’t they a lovely couple?” He asked before throwing them away. The people on the room freaked out, trying to escape. “Do not move! Hands on heads. Hands on heads!”

“Let them go.” You heard The Doctor’s voice as she approached the both of you. The Master quickly grabbed you by the arm again. “Let her go, and you can have me.”

“I’ve got you anyway.” He stated, looking into her eyes. Out of nowhere, he used the device again on another woman nearby. “When I kill them, Doctor, it gives me a little buzz. Right here, in the hearts. It's like... How would I describe it? It's like... It's like knowing I'm in the right place, doing what I was made for.” The Master pointed his device at you in a threatening way. “Do you think it will feel this good when I kill her, Doctor?”

“What do you want?” She asked, trying to keep the situation under control, and most importantly, keep you alive. The Master thought about her question for a few seconds, holding you in place.

“Kneel.” He commanded, only getting a look of disbelieve from her. “Kneel or you’re going to have to get a doll house for your pet to live in.” The Doctor looked at you before getting on her knees. “Call me by my name.”

“Master.” She muttered.

“Beg your pardon?”

“Master.” The Doctor repeated.

“Can you hear her?” He asked you, his grip on your arm starting to cause you pain as he squeezed you closer to him. “We can’t hear you, love.”

“Master.” He let go of you to dramatically place his hand over his mouth, pretending to be moved.

The conversation between them went on as you tried your best to remain calmed. The last thing you wanted was to make a wrong move and triggering The Master into turning you into one of those little dolls. As they kept talking, The Doctor began to decode his plan, realizing that he didn’t even know what those creatures made of light were.

“That’s one uneasy alliance. Trust each other, do you?” The Doctor mocked her oldest friend.

“Oh, completely.” He said. “But Barton and the Kasaavin aren’t the only ones I’ve been talking to. Your precious Y/N here and I have become quite close. Turns out there’s a lot about you that she didn’t know.”

“What have you told her?” The Doctor asked, you could hear the worry in her voice. Why was she worried? Did she truly had anything to hide?

“Down, Doctor!” A voice was heard before the room was filled with the sound of a firearm.

When you looked up, you saw a woman shooting one of the weapons that formed part of the exposition. The Master quickly pushed you behind him just to be shot in his left arm.

“Ada, I really do not approve!” The Doctor screamed at the woman.

Taking advantage of the state of confusion that filled the room at the sight of a woman using a weapon, he took you by the wrist and got you out of there. He knew The Doctor couldn’t get far without a TARDIS anyway.

As you ran back to his ship, you could see the way he kept his left arm close to his body, probably trying to ease the pain. When you finally arrived to his TARDIS he let go of you.

You weren’t sure what had happened, but you could swear he had saved you from getting that bullet yourself. The Master took off the long coat that he was wearing and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt, showing the wound that the bullet had left on him and the blood coming out of it. Under your worried stare, he rushed to one of the chest of drawers in the room to get a pair of tweezers.

He was about to remove the bullet himself when you stopped him.

“Wait.” You muttered, getting closer to him so you could take the tweezers from him.

“What are you doing?” He angrily asked.

“Let me help.”

Before he could complain, you gently took his arm and proceeded to remove the bullet yourself. It was the first time you found yourself in a situation like that one, and you didn’t exactly had plenty of idea of what you were doing, but you just couldn’t stand there and watch as he did that all by himself. If it was as painful as it looked, you simply couldn’t let him suffer more than necessary. Not if you could do something to help.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for you to remove the bullet and within a few seconds you threw it to the floor. The Master kept looking at you as you ripped the sleeve of your dress and put the fabric around his arm as an improvised bandage.

“Are you out of your mind?” You could sense the confusion in his tone for the first time since he had shown his true self. For a second there, he seemed to be out of place, like he didn’t know what to do in that situation. He wasn’t used to it, and he hated the feeling. “Why are you helping me? Are you dumb?”

“A simple ‘thank you’ would be nice.” You replied. He observed you closely, almost as if he was trying to study you. To be honest, you weren’t really sure of why you were helping him either.

His stare soon turned to one of disgust as he let himself free of your grip and walked to his console, ready to travel back to the 21st century. You kept yourself quiet as your mind went back to that last moment with The Doctor.

What could be so bad about her that she had to hide it? Was it the genocide of her own people or something even worse? Why couldn’t she be open and honest with you for a change? As ironic as it was, you had the feeling that The Master had been more open with you in a few hours than what she had ever been in all the time you had known her. He was supposed to be the bad guy, right? Then what sense did it made?

“I helped you because you have taught me more about yourself and your species than The Doctor ever has.” You said, even though he didn’t seem to pay much attention to you.

“Is it me or are you changing sides?” He mocked you, or so you thought. When he didn’t hear you answering, he turned to you.

You couldn’t even hold his stare as the idea started to cross your mind. Was that a possibility? You didn’t want to destroy Earth or end the human race, but after finding out about The Doctor’s secret you weren’t sure that you wanted to be on her side either. Why couldn’t be a third side, one that wasn’t looking for the destruction of the world and that could be honest with their companions?

“I’m not.” You finally stated, not sounding as confident as you would have liked. “But you could though. There’s good in you, I’ve seen it.”

“You must be having hallucinations then.” He harshly answered, looking away from you.

“You saved my life twice today.” You insisted, trying to make him see what you saw. “Once on the plane and also earlier when you took that bullet for me. I wasn’t hallucinating when that happened.”

“You just got really lucky today, that’s all.” His tone was getting more and more bitter as he tried to prove you wrong. “You must be mistaking me for your little boyfriend O. Wake up, he doesn’t exist.”

When you were about to reply, the TARDIS started to make that noise again. Not paying you anymore attention, he checked the screen in front of him, his face showing the despair he was feeling. How had she ended up in 1943? Good thing he had some contacts in the Gestapo. Without wasting a single second, he set the coordinates to the Nazi-occupied Paris.

“I’m tired of babysitting you.” He told you, grabbing some clothes as he made his way out. For the green color of it, you supposed it was an uniform. “Don’t go out or you’ll finally end with my patience. And you don’t want to see what happens next.”

After The Master left, you decided to go out for a second and check where his ship had landed, when you saw a group of men dressed at Nazis patrolling around, you realized you were in the middle of World War II. For once, you decided to obey the orders you were given and stay inside the TARDIS. You hadn’t exactly heard the best things about this time period, and going out there on your own was a step you weren’t sure you were ready to take.

The hours passed, and you couldn’t help but to start feeling worried when The Master didn’t come back. In his current incarnation, a territory occupied by the Nazis wasn’t the ideal place to be. What if they had captured him and he never came back? Your head was spinning around, considering whether if you should go out and look for him or not. You were about to take the step when the door finally opened, showing someone you weren’t expecting to see.

“Y/N!” The Doctor exclaimed as she ran to you and hugged you. She came in the company of two other women, one of them the one that was with her in 1834, Ada. “Are you okay?” You nodded as you embraced her back, happy to see her despite all the things you had learned about her. But you still needed to know the truth.

“Is it true, Doctor?” You dared to ask after a few seconds, getting away from her. “What The Master said about Gallifrey, about the Time War… Did you kill your own people?”

Her eyes turned dark for a second when she heard your words, finally realizing what was what The Master had told you.

“For a long time, I thought I did.” She answered you sincerely. “I thought that I had no choice. I thought that I had detonated my own planet.” You could hear the pain in her voice. “But many years later I came up with a solution to save Gallifrey, to let everyone live.” You heard her story as tears filled your eyes. You didn’t know what to believe anymore. “I trapped Gallifrey in a bubble, in an universe of its own, where it has been until now.” The Doctor said, avoiding to tell you about what The Master had insinuated at the Eiffel Tower.

“Where is The Master?” You asked, feeling deceived. You felt stupid for falling into his games over and over, but for some reason you couldn’t help but to still be worried about him.

“He’s been taken care of.” The Doctor assured you as she moved closer to the console, rushing to get back to the rest of your friends. “Don’t worry about him, we got more important things to solve right now.”

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

Can I piggyback off of a prompt you go a few days ago “You and Rami are fuck buddies. You both are at a Hollywood party and Rami gets jealous when he sees another celeb ask you out. Hardcore angst ensures” however when Rami shows up at the readers apartment she does have a man there (platonic or not your choice) and he makes a big drunken mess.

Be careful what you wish for, dear Anons 😈

Rami fucking Malek, you thought, shaking your head as you left the circle of people who had congregated around him to listen to a story. The sound of their laughter echoed in your ears as you leaned against the bar, which was currently glowing a soft white.

“White wine?” came a deep voice from your left. You smiled as you turned to look at the stranger, but you were met with an eyeful of bright bowtie.

Slowly, you raised your chin to meet his eyes and you smiled prettily as you recognized him as the hero from the latest Marvel movie.

“Putting your superpowers to use to guess my drink?”

“I do have keen powers of observation,” he said, his crooked grin causing your stomach to do a little flip, “when it comes to making them about gorgeous women.”

You laughed and shook your head.

“Please tell me that doesn’t work. I have more faith in my sex than that.”

“Can I be honest?” he said, suddenly looking a little shy.

You quirked your eyebrow and gave him a nod of encouragement.

“I’ve been working up the nerve to talk to you all night. You’ve got such a stellar reputation in this industry and—fuck, I suck at this—you’re incredibly intimidating.”  

You softened, realizing that as an overnight success, this actor was navigating a world he hadn’t been prepared for. It had probably been awhile since he had even tried to pick up someone who wasn’t interested as much if not more in his success than in him.

And it turned out, he was charming in addition to achingly handsome, so when he asked if you wanted to leave, you said yes; after all, you weren’t in a relationship.

Casting one last glance at Rami, who was currently engaged in what look like a pretty flirtatious conversation with a young actress who was more into the party scene than you, you decided why not?

I love being with you, Rami said, a gorgeous grin on his face.

I love being with you, too.

No obligations. No press. Total privacy, he said as he looked up at the ceiling and put his hands behind his head, perfectly relaxed.

No commitment? you asked drawing the shape of a question mark over his pec and down his sternum, tapping your finger just above his navel to indicate the dot.

No commitment, baby. Just … fun, he purred as he bit his bottom lip.

“Just fun,” you said under your breath as you turned away from Rami, missing the way his eyes narrowed as he watched you leave the party with someone who wasn’t him.

* * * * *

It was after 3 am, and you were standing in front of your refrigerator, bathed in the soft glow of its light, wearing nothing but an expensive dress shirt that was much too big for you.

You reached for the orange juice, and after glancing over your shoulder, you took a long drink straight from the carton. As soon as you swallowed, the sound of your buzzer burst through the quiet of your apartment, causing you to jump like you’d been caught.

Hurrying over to the intercom, you cursed whoever it was because they were laying on the buzzer, the horrid sound sure to wake up your guest.

As soon as you pushed to answer, the security cam flicked on to show a mop of black hair slouched against the wall as its owner continued to press the button.

“Rami—stop it,” you hissed into the intercom.

“Y/N!” he slurred, grinning stupidly as he looked around to remember where the security camera was. When he found it, he finger-gunned at the camera and attempted to wink, clearly blinking both his eyes.

“What do you want?”

“See you … pleasssse,” he said before turning back to look up at the camera.

“Not a good time. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Huh? I missed what you said say it again,” Rami said, leaning into the intercom so his voice sounded even more slurred and distorted.

“It’s not a good time, Rami.”

“Buzz me in, baby. Please.”

He was drunk, and there was no way to escape him making a scene if you didn’t let him up.

Being fuck buddies had its perks, but what had been happening lately mostly consisted of you suppressing the feelings you knew you had developed for the curly-haired man who was currently drunk-intercoming for a booty call.

Someone always liked someone more and it sucked that it had to be you. Hottie hero in the next room, while a good lay, had cemented that fact for you. As your guest had drifted off to sleep, you had laid awake and thought about how much you wished he was Rami.

DrunkRami moved a lot faster than SoberRami, so by the time you had finished throwing yourself a pity-party, he was tapping on the door.

With a deep breath, you opened the door and stepped out. Rami wasn’t expecting the outward motion of your body and ended up stumbling back and slumping into the wall.

“Whoa,” he said with a lopsided grin.

“Listen—you’re shitfaced. Let me call you a car home, and we’ll talk in the morning.”

Rami pushed off the wall and sauntered, well tried to saunter, but ended up tripping over his own foot and falling into you.

“Ooof—hi, Ram,” you said into his curls as he giggled and straightened up too quickly, knocking into your chin.

“OhmygodI’msosorry,” he said in a rushed mumble, his hands pawing at your face in an examination as he squinted with very bloodshot eyes.

“I’m fine,” you said, grabbing his wrists and putting some distance between the two of you. “Let me call a car for you.”

“Why you so eager to get rid of me, baby? Jus’ got here.”

“Not a good time tonight,” you repeated as you let go of his wrists.

Rami straightened and his eyes slid slowly over your form, realizing for the first time just what you were wearing.

“Ohhh,” he said in a low voice, his eyes flicking to yours before lowering to the ground.

“I’ll call a car.”

Rami followed you into your apartment, and you thought that was the end of it as you reached to pick your phone up off the kitchen island.

If only.

“Who is he?” Rami asked quietly, staring down your hallway like it was the mouth of hell.

“No one.”

“Didn’t think you fucked jus’anyone.”

You said nothing, knowing it wasn’t worth it to fight with him in his state of mind. You watched as Rami swayed on his feet, his eyes still staring in the direction of your bedroom.

“Hi—sorry about the time, but I need a car. Yeah.15 minutes? Thanks so much.”

“It’s him—big ole guy. Moonsurferman or somethin’ like that,” Rami said with a wave of his hand as he finally turned his eyes from the hallway and to your face. “Saw you talkin’ at tha’ party.”

“You were doing some talking, too.”

“I’m not wearin’ a big ole surfershinemoon dude’s shirt,” Rami said gesturing in a way that made no sense.

“I called the car. You can wait in the lobby,” you said, yanking open your front door, your hair billowing with the force of the breeze.

“Maybe he needs ta wai’ in the fuckin’ lobby,” Rami said swaying as he turned and took a step toward your bedroom.

“Rami, get out.”

“No,” he said, narrowing his eyes at you before he turned and stomped down the hallway.

Christ!

You shut your front door and took off after him, but Rami already had the door open and the light flicked on as you almost knocked into him.

“Mmm—huh?” the handsome actor in your bed said, as he sat up, his eyes shut from the light.

You flicked off the light and grabbed Rami, shoving a hand over his mouth.

“I’m so sorry—I hit the wrong switch. Go back to sleep,” you said in a nervous rush with a wild little giggle at the end.

“Hell of a wake up call, darlin.’ All you had to do was—”

“Be right back!” you interrupted as you pushed a struggling Rami out of the door and into the hallway, slamming it shut behind you, praying to god your guest was too sleepy to get up and see what the fuck that was all about.

“Ouch!” you yelled as Rami bit your hand, probably much harder than he had intended.

“He’s leaving,” Rami said as he struggled with you in the hallway, pushing you out of the way, but he was too drunk to maneuver out of your grasp.

“Stop! You have no right to do this—what if he tells someone?!”

Rami did pause, his hand poised on the bedroom doorknob.

“Please,” you begged, your voice filling with tears. “You’re drunk. No one knows about us—that’s the way you—we—wanted it.”

Rami lowered his hand and took a step back from the door.

“Please.”

He took another step back and then turned to face you, his eyes welling up with tears of their own.

“Did I—did I hurt you?”

You shook your head no and raised a finger to your lips, reaching out to take his hand and lead him back to the living room. Rami sat heavily on the sofa while you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

Handing it to him, you sat down next to him and waited while he took three long swallows, your mind so hyperfocused on his proximity all you could do was count the gulps.

Rami put the cap on the water and set it on the end table, and without a word, he kissed you.

You breathed out as he grasped your face, controlling the kiss.

It was intense, passionate, and above all, filled with a desperate longing.

It made you ache, like you had betrayed him.

“I’m in love with you,” he said as soon as his lips left yours.

Your phone trilled.

“Your car’s here, Rami.”

The apartment filled with silence as Rami slowly stood up. You never moved, never glanced up as he walked away and quietly shut the door behind him.

[monstaxmafiaau]

Everlast (Part 6)

Concept Art (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

You stirred expecting to wake up with his arms still wrapped around you but he wasn’t there. You frowned, sitting up. Maybe this was better since you had said it was purely friendship. You start to slip from the bed but freeze as he moves into the doorframe in only his underwear.

“Good morning,” he murmurs softly and you blush looking at the blanket you still had wrapped around you.

“I thought you left,” you say before lifting your head and meeting his gaze again.

He shakes his head moving forward. “No. We said friends, not a one night stand.”

You bite your lip before tipping your head at him. “You confuse me Hoseok.”

“Good,” he muses as he stops in front of you. His fingertips skate over the side of your face. “I made breakfast if you are hungry.”

You smile tipping your face into his touch.

“Last night was great Hoseok,” you whisper, closing your eyes. “And thank you for breakfast. It’s nice to be taken care of for once.”

He grins before leaning in and catching your lips in a heated kiss. You kiss him back, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he pushes you back into the bed and climbing over you. He ends the kiss before kissing along your jawline.

“Let me take care of you this morning too,” he whisper in your ear.

“Mmm,” you hum before kissing him again as he sheds his underwear and slips between your legs. The duvet pushed away as he takes you again. He takes his time, lips and hands roaming as you bliss out on one another.

…

Hoseok’s hand moved up and down your side as you lie facing one another. “When do you have to leave?” You ask.

He shrugs, his hand moving to your shoulder and then your neck. His touches soft but determined as he continues to memorize you without you even realizing it. Your lips part as he tips your head back and leans in placing an open mouth kiss against the your neck where he could feel your pulse fluttering from his touches.

He nuzzles in, his arms wrapping around you and you sigh resting your head on top of his.

“We can keep doing this you know,” he mumbles. “As friends.”

“I don’t know…”

“Why not?”

You don’t have to look to know he is pouting.

“Someone might catch feelings,” you whisper. He pulls back and stares at you.

“Me. I might catch feelings.”

You nod before leaning in and kissing his lips briefly. “You may be a one of the biggest crime gods in Seoul but you have a kind heart and you wear your emotions on your sleeve Hoseok. I can see the feelings already developing.”

He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment.

“More reason to do it. So I can’t act on them. If I can’t have you in my life by your choice then I know I will find a way, I always get what I want.”

You roll your eyes before starting to slip away but he doesn’t let you. His strong arms keeping you there with him.

“As friends, no commitments, nothing special. Just friends that hang out and occasionally help each other out.”

You stare at him, searching for some kind of underlying message but nothing. You sigh before closing your eyes. “If we do this then no one else can be involved. If you start sleeping with someone else then this ends. I don’t share.”

He laughs before bringing his hand to your face. “I don’t want to share you either Baby.”

You shake your head at him. “No, no pet names.”

“I’m calling you Baby.”

You sigh before giving in. “Fine. Do we have a deal Hoseok?”

“We do,” he grins before rolling so he is on top of you. “Baby, you just climbed into bed with a crime god.”

You laugh before pulling his lips down to yours. He kisses you slow, taking the time to enjoy it because he knows as soon as you leave the bed he won’t be able to touch or kiss you like this until you fall back into the bed together.

“Now,” you muse before getting pushing him away from you. “What about breakfast?”

“Oh!” He grins before slipping from the bed and you follow pulling on his t-shirt that was still on the floor. He admires you in it, biting his lip as you both go into your kitchen together.

(Part 7)