#[[it is called trauma my dude.

[gxlden-angels]

To everyone with Rapture anxiety, I just woke up from a dream where I tripped the lead angel playing the trumpet, ending the whole thing so it's no longer an issue. You can rest easy now

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i don't usually give attention to c//a stans whining on my posts but i had to show y'all this one (original post)

"cry about it" *proceeds to write an entire essay defending their kitty cat*

thanks, you really proved the point of the original post lmao

[grinchwrapsupreme]

being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go

[shlubbiehubbie]

uwu rawr this is my lore if you even care <3

so theres this guy. ive known him for over a year and we got along really well from the moment we met. long story short i fell in love with him. and it happened on accident. we were friends and i catch feelings for him but never get confirmation if he did or didnt feel the same.

heres the long story lol. we were really good friends like we both lived on campus so we hung out everyday between work and classes. we texted and called every goddamn day. we always met up when we had time. i remember feeling the desperation in a text he sent quickly followed by a call insisting he had time after a meeting to hang out and have dinner together. we even started a club together JUST TO BE ABLE TO HANG OUT MORE AND IN NICER VENUES!!! we just wanted a club where we could play jackbox games and watch movies and shows together. im telling yall he was so ideal. ive never felt so safe with someone before. i even introduced him to the solar car club at our university so we could be on the media and marketing team together. god we were almost inseparable. and he acted different when it was just us vs us with other people. he was clearly very comfortable with me. he would even tease me! he loved getting a reaction out of me. and we would laugh until our sides were sore or we were dying on the floor. we were such good friends and at some point i caught feelings.

we did so much together in the span of almost 4 months. i was having trouble with school due to the death of my grandfather, loss of my job, and being placed in 3 classes i already took at my community college (i was a transfer student). i was expected to do more than i should and felt punished for not knowing all the right channels to go through to get shit done. i felt so tired of the bullshit i didnt think a degree would be worth it at that specific university. but i didnt want to leave my friend. i had a lot of friends but this one in particular was special. this was my newest best friend who i spend countless hours with. he knew i was making the choice to drop out after that semester. the signs were clear he was going to miss me. he hugged me like it was the last time he was gonna see me. he doesnt like hugging and i can remember that embrace like it happened yesterday. i did not want to leave him. i loved him. so what do i do? i give him a card saying thank you for the memories and go no contact on him for 8 fucking months. i got over the worst depression of my life because i missed him so fucking much AND i felt like a failure for wasting my time and money on a school that clearly didnt care for me. i was going to CAPS almost once a week even when i was a student.

anyway. i get over the depression. i pick myself back up. i make great friends through the smiling friends fandom. i meet someone who sounds and laughs like my friend. what are the fucking chances. i am encouraged by new friends to reach out to my uni friend. i take my time but i finally do it. i reconnect with other friends and they encourage me too to call the friend ive been missing the most. and…he doesnt pick up. i want to cry. i feel like a failure again. but i think “maybe he called back?” HE DID. AND I MISSED IT! ACK! so i call him back. he picks up. we say our hellos and how are yous. i apologize for the radio silence and say i thought he hated me. he says “no no no no no no i dont hate you dont even worry about it.” im in love again. and the gentleness of his tone? are you fucking kidding me? we talk for like an hour and then i finally let him go to finish packing before he moves back in. i see him the day he moves in and i meet his parents for the 2nd time. after that we start hanging out again but a little too often. we set up proper boundaries after i have a mental breakdown bc he is the only one of my friends from last year that actually missed me and wanted to see me again. he said he wanted to see me again.

the last time i saw him was september 8. i was escorted off campus on the 9th and the 11th due to depressive episodes during both incidents (undiagnosed and unmediated at the time). i was institutionalized from the 14th to the 19th. i still havent seen my friend. i am officially banned from campus and i miss my good friend everyday. i wrote poetry about him that i may never share. i love him. i always will. what sucks is so many things remind me of him. i feel sick when i get reminded of him because i cannot physically be near him and i just miss him that fucking much. i’m hopeless. but i do think i will see him again even if it is not soon. its killing me to wait to see him again. fuck my stupid baka life. god i miss that goober!

[inpursuitofnunchi]

Me: *decides to watch A Time Called You thinking it's a cute scifi romcom*

Also me, seeing all the trauma:

[airlockfailure]

For everyone who thinks Hunter lacks personality/character development I'm not going to say you're wrong.

But when you give too much of yourself away for the sake of others, you end up losing yourself and what you could become.

[another-clive-blog]

Drops Fantasy AU. Doesn't elaborate. Leave. (I mean I don't have much but I can and will elaborate if given the opportunity to lol)

[olteacup]

after this im never getting another pet till i accept the cycle of life.. grr icky emotions, back emotions get back!! 🤺🤺

(im okay ish now thoo) :3

[aspecbuddie]

mum just casually brought up the fact that I didn't speak to her for a few months earlier this year, and the similarities with the Chris and Eddie storyline are... lowkey funny

[bigmeansweatydyke]

do ya ever have moments when you just give up on an old person. like oh you genuinely do not see palestinians as people as human beings it is pointless talking to you

[jalattes]

ive known people who complain about lgbt media that deals with homophobia as a part of its story and I feel like it's similar to all of the generational trauma narratives that we've been seeing the last few years. I think its important to remember that you don't have to consume media that makes you uncomfortable and it's not fair to shame people for writing about their lived experiences.

[the-descolada]

It’s very hard to reconcile memories of someone being a positive presence in your life when the downturn was so sudden. One second I had a friend whose love for me I thought was genuine and trusting and then that fell apart so quickly and completely I had no idea it was even happening before it was too late bc of irrational fears inside their head I couldn’t have foreseen or even known about and all of that fell on me and their anxiety became a justification to treat me so fucking badly and I just couldn’t handle that bc I’m only human

[caterpillarinacave]

Gotta give a shoutout to my 2nd grade teacher who looked me dead in the eye and said "you don't have a disability" with utmost confidence, permanently marking the end of me advocating for myself. I have been laughing at you for over a decade.

[subconsciousmysteries]

love my bf love my life but that one song by Corey Taylor gives me war flashbacks to all the 48 combos I've loved before and I secretly listen to it sometimes when I'm bored with healthiness and I want to feel pain again

[spookydingus]

are uh...

you okay man

[one-winged-dreams]

Wakes up in the middle of the night absolutely fucked up on three different sleep aids to rant about how people can not fucking put together the Final Fantasy VII + spinoffs lore and EVEN STILL try to vomit these useless opinions and what x character is the WORST and why y character is blah blah blah

ENOOOOOUGH

putting these supersoldiers on top of the fridge until y'all learn what a narrative is