#[[ i'm ......... v sorry abt that ]

[suntails]

do you deserve to be loved?

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Eugene was truly the best boyfriend. saw his girlfriend get broken up with, and immediately had a revenge glow up. Imagine being Cassandra seeing your ex girlfriend's boyfriend and he's wearing a golden choker with the just deepest v neck known to man, the world's sluttiest gloves, and a thigh garter. I'd have to give up then and there.

[peacockrulz]

Merry Christmas Happy New Years! :)

[deduction-substitute]

[theharellan]

how does Solas cope or work through the aftereffects of the regret prison?

content warning for mental health / body dysmorphia

At first, it's pure cope.

I've written my Solas as suffering from derealisation/depersonalisation for a good while now. It's been an issue for him since he manifested physically, exacerbated by the body dysmorphia he experiences from his unwilling flesh. It is exacerbated again by the Veil, and throughout early Inquisition he is dealing with symptoms of derealisation. He has developed methods to treat these symptoms. Tellingly, this banter with Cole:

Cole: It's brighter here. Glittering. Glaring. Glinting. I can't...

Solas: It's a mild tremor in the Veil. Nothing to worry about. Focus on what is here, in this world.

Cole: But... what is here?

Solas: Feel the ground, the breath in your lungs, fabric rustling against your skin.

Cole: (Breathes.) Thank you.

Solas: It's nothing. It can be overwhelming for anyone.

Is a treatment for derealisation in modern medicine. So, he has some pre-established methods that might help.

That being said, the regret prison is a different beast. He has always had a strict command of his dreams, and the Fade has often been a safe space for him. But he designed the prison with the ability to keep even the likes of Elgar'nan caged, and has utmost faith in its creation (he designed it, after all). What's more, by being its first host it does appear to be shaped to him, with him having to pull Rook in not only because they were mired in their regrets at that moment, but because they share a regret (Varric's fate).

I imagine the prison as a constant sensory overload for him, a deluge of the past millennia of his existence bearing down upon him almost without reprieve. And if he comes close to working through one, another cuts him off. A pack hunting down its singular prey, if you will. Wolves are persistence hunters, after all.

One last note about Solas in regret prison is that he tries to outsmart his regrets rather than confront them. From a (potentially cut) codex written by Emmrich:

I would offer, however, that your escape shows the true difference in how you and Solas suffered this regret. Solas escaped through evasion. In many ways, he addressed Varric’s fate as he did the problem of the Fade: a puzzle to be navigated or, where possible, denied. ... An immortal life founded in denial risks becoming an endless collection of loss. It would appear that, in the shadow of eternity, a god might regret but cannot accept.

These are the lies and misdirections he tells himself that Rook can call him out on. And like so many of Solas's lies, there is a method of truth to them. It was Rook's fault the gods escaped (but it was his as well), it was an accident that Varric was stabbed (but he did stab him, nevertheless).

The regret murals are another example of this. The Mythal fragment describes them as branches twisting to catch the sun, and while I think what she means by this is up for interpretation, I have my own take. For now, I feel like the best thing I can say is that the regret murals indicate Solas as someone who struggles not only with regret but with the perception of himself as a victim.

It is easier for him to see himself as a villain, because it makes everything he's done a choice. Every friend he's betrayed, every crime he's committed, wasn't because he was a person trapped in an impossible spot, trying to do right by himself, the person he loved, and his people, but the steady hand of Wisdom (or Pride) making the hard choices no one else can. He has to be the one to do it, and it has to be entirely his choice. While out of character I maintain that Solas's agency is reframed by abuse and circumstance, it does not change the fact that he has a responsibility to those mistakes, but I think Solas disagrees. At least when it comes to himself.

So the paint chips, the plaster cracks. Any evidence that he is anything less than in control of his own life fades.

Upon his escape, there is little time to work through anything. Elgar'nan descends upon Minrathous, eager to retake his throne as the god of tyranny, the threat of blight bears down upon the world. There are weeks between, but they are the bat of an eyelash in the span of his existence. So in no way does he begin to truly address those regrets in that time.

He mistakes voices he has known for years as being the manifestations of it, come to haunt him. He stands alone in crowds. He feels nothing. He feels like he is watching himself from outside of his body.

He copes by centering himself, as mentioned in the Cole banter when I started writing this ask reply 40 years ago. Focusing on physical sensations, manifestations of magic in his palm as a stim, counting his breath, etc.

The regret prison seems a very physically isolating place, and I think physical touch would be a salve sometimes. Which, canon Solas is out of luck, but this iteration has Ian. In this thread, hearing Ian's voice makes him flinch, but the Ian in the regret prison never touched him, the real Ian can.

I do think he plays at addressing it. Partially because he escaped it, so he has (in some manner) escaped his regrets, and partially because he has Ian, who knows everything the party knows and more. Not saying anything would be stranger, especially as Ian knows his symptoms of his weakening mental health from their years together. So even in trying to address it he is still coping, almost trying to trick Ian (and himself) into believing he has processed things. The same way he does every time he says out loud that he is someone deeply aware of his mistakes.

Ian, for his part, is a war medic and well-aware that this isn't the time to unpack the centuries upon centuries of trauma his not-husband is failing to process. Although even Ian has his limits, and cannot bring himself to validate some of Solas's regrets involving Mythal. I think here is where the trick is laid bare, and it's clear the things he wounds he believes he has dressed are, in fact, bleeding through the bandage.

It would only be post-game that he could truly begin work through these regrets, and getting over the after effects of the prison that inflicted upon him in such a visceral manner. He will still flinch when Ian (or Thora, or Miraen, or Felassan, or Emithas etc) says his name sometimes. He still will hear him anticipate violence in their words. Sometimes, when the twilight steals into night and all the colour drains from the world, he anticipates statues on the horizon.

But whether the Veil is gone or he is atoning in the prison, being more connected to the Fade and in a better environment allows the sixth sense of magic to flow through him as it hasn't since the Veil's construction. When Ian says his name, it rings with both worlds. And there is little to regret in the sound.

It is a journey, but not a battle, as so many other things have been in his life.

[fluentisonus]

reading about them like what if i burst into tears

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1

wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)

bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:

[oscxrpceo]

@inhcritance liked for a starter! (clone-ish shenanigans!!)

Harry Osborn is no stranger to waking up in strangely familiar places, whether that's the bed of the random person he went home with the night before, or, more recently, his bed -- in another universe. Somehow, he can always tell he's not in his home universe just by the way the sheets feel. Sometimes, they're a nice silk, othertimes an annoying microfiber cotton.

And, unfortunately, today is one of those days where he wakes up in a bed that something in him tells him is his, but not. He just hope this universe's Harry is, for lack of better words, living.

The ones where he's not are always harder to be in. He's a walking corpse in his own universe thanks to the botched Spider-Serum he'd attempted to make, but sometimes it's worse when that's literal.

He also hopes that he's not, well, currently dating someone. That'll make things awfully awkward.

"At least I'm not made of paint," he says.

[lifesupreme-if]

tamber!!!! what is the number one thing mc could do to rizz up the ros

dylan: when you laugh at her shitty jokes, her heart soars. when you make sure to call her first before anyone else, her love for you sings. she's already putty in your hands; what more do you need? you could show that she's important to you like you are to her: put her first in something. she'll notice.

stéphanie: tell her she's pretty! stéphanie is a deeply insecure creature when it comes to her appearance and doesn't expect anyone to go out of their way to look at her. she wouldn't expect it. alternatively: do the chores and tell her to sit down when she tries to take over doing the chores. she'll ogle and ugly giggle about it.

dorothea: honestly kind of hard to rizz up just because she's oblivious to so many things. ask her to help you—she loves being helpful, and then kiss her (on the cheek, if you aren't so bold) about it. a direct shot to the heart works every time.

[locked]: watch an old movie with her, laugh when you're CLEARLY supposed to (don't worry if you don't think it's funny—it's from the 2000s, you'll know when you're supposed to laugh), or play video games with her and let her win and gloat. basically: allow her to exercise her secret identity as a gigantic fucking nerd and she'll be thinking of kissing you afterwards.

[doubleedgemode]

*thinks abt the classic gg quotes where a.b.a calls herself an innocent little girl and has a weird little nobility complex* what does that mean

(Expanded on in this post's tags)

[chapinii]

question would u ever be open to putting ur gêmeos sims on the gallery

ahhhh i'd rlly like to but ppl on twt have discovered them and i'm scared of putting them on the gallery because i'm paranoid of weirdos with certain mods using them :')

(I may wait until things over there have died down and put them both on secretly, my id on the gallery is the same as here I believe - I won't lie now that i think abt it an older version of cellbit might already be on there but shhh)

there's currently a cc list of the two on my twt, chapini_ !

[pumpkinrootbeer]

sorry for haymitch posting constantly but the funniest thing to me is in his games there was nothing outwardly suggesting everything was poison but his paranoid ass saw fresh water and went "it's a trap" and the hilarious part is he was right

[theprinceandthewitch]

Ppl are genuinely so weird lmao

Ah yes, I'm sure a man who calls himself Orpheus and commits crimes with the intention of improving Alice's condition has nothing but platonic feelings for his childhood bestie and is motivated JUST by guilt teehee

[I'm being sarcastic btw],

[fluxweeed]

hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

[p4nishers]

can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys