#[ so vivian would probably be under the impression he hates her ]

[unladylikc]

another story awaits @kiingslaycr​ ;;

       “ ...Whoever keeps calling you ‘short’ clearly hasn’t met me, ” she states while shaking her head. Truth be told, Vivian couldn’t quite fathom how 5′7 was even considered small when she herself stood at only  5′2;  then again, perhaps it was because she was a girl and having a dainty, petite figure was deemed the height of femininity according to society. If you were to ask her, on the other hand, she found that very notion to be rather ridiculous.

     “ It’s probably for the best they didn’t, though, cause I would break their kneecaps if they dared belittle me for my height. Like, just because I’m fun-sized, doesn’t mean I’m not deadly, you know? ” 

[onemustalwaysbecarefulofbooks]

Here’s your Daily Dose of some Hard to Swallow Pills: Feyre’s title of High Lady essentially means nothing.

I’m not even saying that to be an asshole. I literally mean that it is just a fancy title and nothing more. Feyre is only “High Lady” because Rhys says she is.

I understand what SJM was going for here and yes, if read at face value, it comes across as something so badass and feminist. But when you take a second to stop and take a look at the way the actual magic system is set up in Prythian, it kind of changes things.

It is explicitly stated in the series that High Lords are CHOSEN through some innate force that controls the magic of each individual court. High Lords are not elected, they are not selected, it’s not a monarchy or a democracy, or an oligarchy, or anything else. When one High Lord dies, the force/magic that makes him the High Lord immediately passes on to the person who will be the next High Lord. If I don’t like my High Lord, I can’t go out and lead a revolution, kill him, and declare myself the new High Lord. Through Sarah’s own words, this is how it works. This is how we end up with people like Tamlin, who don’t WANT to be High Lord. It is something outside of anyone’s control. The power of the High Lord is something that is given to them from the Earth and then returned to it at the end of their life to be passed on to someone else.

Sarah has established that this is how it is. She has also established that, under this magic system, in the thousand year history of Prythian, this power has only ever been given to males. Never once has this power chosen or been given to a woman (which makes Tamlin’s statement of “There are no High Ladies” honestly seem way less like a misogynistic dismissal and more of just. . .a fact? It’s not Tamlin’s fault that this mysterious power has only been given to males. If Prythian is thousands of years old and not ONCE has this power been bestowed to a female, is Tamlin really sexist for stating that High Ladies aren’t a Thing? I’m pretty sure if you surveyed every citizen on the continent of Prythian, they would probably all express something similar. But I digress).

Rhys is the High Lord of the Night Court. He was given this power by some mysterious force within the Earth that declared him to be so. There are certain things he can do that no one else can, in terms of ruling and protecting the Night Court. When he gets with Feyre, he declares her to be the High Lady of the Night Court. But that’s the thing: HE declares her to be.

Hard Truth: If Rhys died tomorrow (and let’s pretend Feysand’s Too Stupid to be Real “romantic” bargain to die when the other does never happened because honestly, it never should have), Feyre would not be left with any kind of sway over the Night Court. Those who were opposed to her would be under no obligation to listen to or obey her. The great power of the High Lord would be passed on to someone else. . .most likely either Nyx or, God forbid, Kier. Whoever this person was would be able to dismiss Feyre entirely. She has no power over anyone, other than what Rhys grants her. There is no task she can perform, magical rite of passage she can undertake, nothing marking her as High Lady at all other than “because Rhys said so”. When looked at it through this angle, I fail to see how this is something super impressive. It is impressive in the sense that Rhys respects his lady and WANTS her to rule by his side and be involved in the things that she can be. But this is something impressive about Rhys. . .not about Feyre herself. Feyre being High Lady is more about Rhys than it actually is about her. 

That’s why, whenever Feyre is presented or described to someone as “the High Lady of the Night Court” and people either cower, or gawk in awe, or grovel, or the narrative beats you over the head with how amazing she is because of this, I have to chuckle to myself. Being “High Lady” does not mean what the narrative would like you to think it means. Feyre is a queen consort who’s husband, the monarch, respects her and wants her take. That’s it. She is not Rhys’s equal in terms of being a leader. In terms of respect granted to her under his rule, perhaps. But she has no actual power or tie to the land that matches his. I’m not saying this to hate, it is literally just a fact, based off of what Sarah herself created within this world. If she didn’t want people to say or believe things like this, she shouldn’t have written it this way. She easily could have made the High Lords be selected in a more traditional way, like a familial monarchy, or through a competition/challenge of strength and power. Instead, the role is something they have no choice in and is so powerful it’s tied to and bestowed by the Earth itself. Trying to say that that is the same thing as Rhys walking out one day and saying “Feyre is now your High Lady!” is not a comparable situation. 

What I find even more hilarious is that, even if you don’t base any of this on the technical magic system, and look at it purely from an emotional moral standpoint---a woman who looks out for, defends, and cares for her people at all costs. Who rallies them together, provides for them what they need. Who has the respect of her people and her mate, who trust her to do right by them. Who her people look to in times of trouble and danger. Surely THAT is enough to be considered “High Lady?”

You’re right. You’re absolutely right. Feyre wasn’t Prythian’s first “High Lady”. Viviane was.

[emersonfreepress]

What would the ro's be like in a zombie au?

whyyyyy anon whyyy. I'm actually gonna write this in like.. slightly different terms, you'll see. any time I even briefly think of a zombie au I'm just like

I WANNA WRITE IT SO BADDD

i don't even allow myself to entertain it for very long because getting into that would be the worst thing ever for my productivity with the alpha omg 😂😂 so I'll put like the ideas that pop into my head for writing a zombie au, to work some of that creative frustration out 😆

so in this very general, absolutely noncommittal idea of mine, the main cast are older and the setting is in and around a civilian settlement led by the Emersons.

and as a refresher, i like my zombie aus to have fast zombies and fast infections ^ ^ 28 Days Later/Train to Busan style babyyyy, we the Sprinting Dead up in this bitch 😆

= = =

Gabe is, predictably, looking for what's left of his family. Following rumors of safe havens and bunkers and such. Starts the story as someone who tries to be diplomatic, if not outright pacifist, but as times get tougher and resources dwindle, he'd become one of the most cutthroat motherfuckers in the wasteland. Low-key though, low-key. People won't trust you if they know you’re capable of throwing them to a horde for strategic reasons. Like if Rick turned into Shane (for those of us familiar with early Walking Dead--idk did that happen eventually? i gave up before we even met Negan lol). The end justifies the means :) Damn, I can legit see Gabe going full evil in a zombie au omg 😂😂 i want to write it so fucking bad

Preferred weapon for zed encounters: rifle

Preferred weapon for human encounters: handgun

Faith in humanity: fucking zero

Zombie kill count: plenty; the type to kill every zombie he has spare ammo and time for

Human kill policy: When it benefits him or the people he’s looking after

Survival rating: B+; he can make it out of some pretty dire situations through sheer will to live and ruthlessness

- - -

Kile has arrived--clearly, this is the timeline they belong in. They start their journey with Gabe (and their doggo) and stick to him like glue, even reluctantly so when Gabe eventually has them join the settlement. This can only go one way, though: Kile's just too much of a wildcard for the group and hates being told what to do. (Especially now that society has fallen, wtf) They'd make their exit alone and unannounced aside from a brief head’s up to Gabe. It's slightly bittersweet, but also? They get to loot and hunt and sneak around and kill fucking zombies, all by themself. Kile is a loner, a hiker, and a hunter to begin with so they do beyond fine on their own. However, once the inevitable violent human threat comes for the settlement, Gabe is sent out to convince Kile to come out of isolation, just this once please, to be the camp’s super soldier help defend the camp.

Zed weapon: p much anything they can get their hands on, ranged or melee, blunt or sharp, w/e; improvised weapons

Human weapon: hunting knife

Faith in humanity: never had any to begin with

Zombie kill count: lol infinite?? any zed they come across is double-dead if they have the time for it

Human kill policy: at Gabe’s direction or when provoked enough/threatened

Survival rating: A-; they trust no one, live in isolation, and prioritize survival above all else. only reason it’s not higher is they would risk their life for Gabe or their furbaby and also... their own Rambo-esque antics def attracts the occasional horde lmao

- - -

Jack... this poor boy, he doesn't deserve a zombie au 😂 He's one of those people that first believes zombies are just sick people, too squeamish to keep up with TV news coverage at the onset and too upset to consider anything else. He'd hunker down at home, staying holed up even while his neighbors evacuated, and probably be discovered while the main group is looting the same place as him. When people try to tell him the real state of the world, he'd be in denial until he absolutely couldn't be anymore. idk, probably after Kile shooting a bunch of non-lethal holes thru a zombie to make a point (attracting more in the process lol).

He’d almost immediately join the medical team at the settlement and as word spreads about how easy he is to talk to, he quickly becomes the literal on-site therapist. It's a role he embraces but... idk if it's an emotional burden he can bear. He's very emotionally resilient! But he ain't a professional lol imagine a whole settlement of traumatized zombie survivors seeking you out for counseling, yikes. He also can't say no to a person in need, so instead he quietly spirals into a very private depression while continuing to help others!!

Zed weapon: Oh gosh, do I really have to?

Human weapon: ...Kindness?

Faith in humanity: Unrealistically high

Zombie kill count: Single digit

Human kill policy: Not ever, unless completely unavoidable and to defend the defenseless

Survival rating: C...? idk, that feels generous. D+. To be protected at all costs!!

- - -

Jessie also had the initial reaction of hoping zombies could be saved, but she woke up from that dream swiftly. The science-minded person that she is, esp with her interest in biology, leaves her determined to find anybody who's got the intellect, expertise, and resources to start doing actual work toward a treatment, cure, vaccine—anything. Nothing would get her to finally unabashedly embrace her love of science (and innate leadership skills!!) faster than a zombie apocalypse! In fact, it’s thanks to her that the Emerson settlement’s got a small but growing team of scientists doing as much research as humanly possible to best educate the others on the outbreak and zombie behavior. Def no zombie experimentation going on though lol. ...Not yet, at least.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: rifle

Faith in humanity: High! We’ll find a solution! Don’t give up hope!

Zombie kill count: Double digits, but less than 30

Human kill policy: Only in unavoidable self-defense or defense of others

Survival rating: B! She has experience with ranged weapons, farming and gardening skills, first aid, camping experience, and a can-do attitude with a healthy dose of realism!

- - -

Rain remains cargo as I said in the last post about this 😆 They'd be very good for keeping clothes repaired and making useful modifications in the settlement, but their life up to this point has been very sheltered and privileged. We're talking somebody with a chauffeur and a personal chef before the outbreak! They would contribute to quality of life and homemaking efforts more than anything—an overlooked aspect of these scenarios tbh! After as many months of dragging their feet as possible and being nigh impossible to track down when you need them, they eventually become involved in meal planning and even help out with medical stuff if they're asked.

Zed weapon: how do you reload this thing again?

Human weapon: switchblade or other concealable sharp-pointy

Faith in humanity: Very low

Zombie kill count: 0! Can you believe it!

Human kill policy: Well if it’s you or me, of course I’m choosing me.

Survival rating: C. Being so tiny helps them find good hiding spots and their self-preservation is high enough to keep them from unnecessary risk-taking. Plus they're very stealthy! Self-defense is a major issue though, so hiding is always their best option.

- - -

Rupan/Rohan scouts for and leads scavenging missions and is Curt's right hand on the recruitment team. The two of them together are the perfect combo of diplomacy, debate, and deception--although R is more honorable about the last one and will only deceive for strategic reasons. When they aren’t looting and recruiting, they’re doing peacekeeping inside the settlement. Most social disputes end up getting brought to them for mediation and they’re pretty dang good at making and enforcing calls. One day they’ll wake up to realize they’ve basically become a sheriff and feel the need to puke their guts up and do something, anything, to reassure themself they’re still punk 😂

Zed weapon: SMG

Human weapon: shotgun

Faith in humanity: Believes in fundamental goodness but knows better than to trust first impressions

Zombie kill count: decent, more than 40; you won’t catch them having a field day tho, they’re trying to gtfo of most zed situations

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. And they aren’t, at all, immune to a revenge rampage either...

Survival rating: B-. Can handle themself both with humans and zeds but is vulnerable to hostage situations and truly difficult sentimental/interpersonal decisions!

- - -

Vivian/Vincent manages inventory and stock and they run it so efficiently it’s scary! They're the perfect pick: a hawk-eyed tyrant and tattletale 😂 Despite constantly butting heads with just about everyone on every imaginable thing, they quickly become an important part of the inner circle of decision-makers for the settlement at large. Terrible at stealth, jumpy, and squeamish at the sight of blood and gore, they literally never go on missions unless they're 100% needed for their expertise on a supply run. (They would deny all of these shortcomings are that big a problem, meanwhile R is definitely acting as their bodyguard lol.) When they do tag along, they're prone to becoming the damsel in distress. Seriously, it happens near every fucking time. It's like they just attract only the most improbable and perilous zombie attacks and hostage situations 😆

Zed weapon: shotgun

Human weapon: handgun

Faith in humanity: Medium; seeing people work together at the settlement helps restore it a bit

Zombie kill count: Double digits, under 25

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. Well, no, not by me! Get one of the ruffians to do it!

Survival rating: C-. They’d be higher if they weren’t such natural zombie bait.

- - -

Heidi is running the settlement, well-organized to the degree of actually managing to bring bureaucracy to a post-zombie apocalypse settlement 😂 People are free to come and go, but getting in if you don't live there requires trading something of value (fuel, med supplies, food, etc), temporary surrender and registry of firearms and explosives, and you gotta GTFO at the time and date specified upon entry! You can stay long-term if you contribute to the community in a tangible way—and each person admitted is approved by Heidi personally. Yes, every individual. No, she has no free time. And she is not known to be lenient with rule breakers—you want rule bending, you’ll have to go to Curt for that. People kind of hate her, but it can't be denied that she runs a tight ship. She kind of throws herself into the work to avoid the harsher reality at large and hasn't left the settlement in a long time. She's out of touch with how bad things have gotten in the wastes, but she knows better than to take reports at anything less than face value--even when she's skeptical.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: handgun; dagger

Faith in humanity: Medium. It fluctuates, honestly

Zombie kill count: Double digits, less than 20

Human kill policy: Violent threats must be taken out if they can’t be reasoned with. Spare those who surrender, eradicate those who don't, keep an eye on the newbies. Not tryin’ to nurse any vendettas around here lol

Survival rating: B. She's good with a firearm, masterful at persuasion, and savvy enough to calculate risks appropriately. Also far tougher than her prim exterior and demeanor suggests!

- - -

Curt leads the recruitment and reconnaissance teams! When a new person or group shows up in the area, Curt's the one who stalks watches them, decides if they're worth approaching, and if they should be approached with an invitation, a simple acknowledgment/announcement of their presence, or an outright armed warning to leave the area. He also keeps tabs on morale and general confidence inside the settlement, alongside R. When he isn’t leading those efforts, though, he’s flirting with settlers and squirreling his way out of manual labor and other chores. He’s also secretly growing weed at his place--don’t tell Heidi or Vi ‘cause they’ll wanna yell at him and ration it UGH.

Zed weapon: SMG, explosives

Human weapon: handgun, dagger

Faith in humanity: Pft, sorry, what now?

Zombie kill count: ...way more than you’d expect

Human kill policy: I don’t start confrontations, but I sure as fuck end them.

Survival rating: A! He’s good at playing hapless idiot when it suits him to be underestimated, good with firearms, and capable of being ruthless and decisive in life or death situations! Plus he has no qualms about ditching the settlement if he decides it’s not working out for him. Just don’t tell Heidi lol

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Heart to Heart

Missing scene from the latest chapter of The Nanny Affair. My MC comforts Sofia after being publicly embarrassed by her father. I hated that scene, and I hate that Sofia is such a one dimensional character. 

Background MC (Luna Stafford) x Sam Dalton, but only if you tilt your head and squint.

Tags: @choices-lurker @paulfwesley @zodiacsign1 @thatysn @ermidc @badchoicesposts @senseofduties @canknot @drakewalker04

~v~

Luna can’t enjoy the fact that she’s drinking her salary in fancy champagne, enjoying a rooftop dinner with some of the richest people in the tri-state area. Any other day, this would be a dream come true, but in reality, she’s stuck in a nightmare.

For the past two hours, they’ve been forced to listen to Paolo make snide remarks on everything under the sun from her nannying skills to Sofia’s business acumen. Luna is not a fan of Paolo Russo. He seems like a miserable, stuffy old man whose only joy in life comes from whining and looking down on other people.

She casts a quick glance at Sam. The always poised and out together man looks as bored as she feels. His elbows are on the table, a finger lazily tracing the rim of his champagne flute. Gone are the manners and the fine dining etiquette that’s been drilled into him since infancy.

He looks up, sneaking a glance at her. An easy grin adorns his features as they lock eyes, and she quickly looks away, heat blooming on the apples of her cheeks. It’s rare that Sam is so unapologetic in his flirting with her, especially in the presence of his kids. 

The sound of a knife hitting the stem of a champagne flute is all it takes to pull Luna out of her thoughts. Paolo is standing at the head of the table, waiting on everyone to watch him with rapt attention.

He clears his throat obnoxiously, “Ahem. Thank you all for coming to congratulate my beautiful daughter and her future husband on their upcoming nuptials.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Luna sees Sofia sit up a bit straighter, eagerly awaiting the praise she’s sure her father is going to heap onto her.

“Sofia has been run ragged at Russo Industries for far too long,” Paolo continues. “Now she can finally fulfill her purpose to become a wife and mother. After all, a woman in a position of power in the business world is like an unstable explosive, especially around that time of the month.” The older man turns toward Sam, hoping to get a co-sign on his speech. “Right, Sam?”

Luna clenches her fist tightly underneath the table. She can’t believe the unmitigated fall that his man has. “Did he really just say that?”

Sam turns to her with a mournful expression. “Unfortunately.”

Luna isn’t the only one at the table embarrassed by Paolo’s speech. Sam’s mother Vivian leans over to her husband, whispering harshly. “Mason honey, I thought you talked to him about this.”

“I tried, but you know how it goes with Paolo.”

Luna balks at the scene unfolding in front of her. So they all just let Paolo get away with talking like this? It’s just talk, that they all chalk up to Paolo just being Paolo?

Paolo, the arrogant man, is far too caught up in his own spiel to notice that they’re all openly horrified. He just keeps going. “...A family disarms the bomb! That’s why it’s called a biological clock.”

Luna wants to scream. She wants to hit something. She wants to do anything else but listen to this man continue on with his horribly misinformed and misogynistic speech.

“Finally we’re getting to the good stuff.”

“I predict a Sofia meltdown in three...two…”

The countdown doesn’t have to finish as Sofia all but slams her champagne flute down on the table. The noise startles Luna and she flinches slightly.

“I’ve heard this speech before. I don’t need to hear it again.”

Sofia scrambles, attempting to gather her belongings. Luna notices that her hands are slightly trembling and her eyes are glossy, tears threatening to spill.

Before she can stop herself, she’s opening her mouth, “Actually Paolo, men and women have the same brains. Neurologists have been searching for differences for years, but nothing ever turns up. And this society makes girls lesser than men, which is a gross assumption that’s pushed by men like you.”

The admonishment causes a faint blush to appear at Paolo’s neck. “And what does that have to do with my daughter’s role at Russo Industries?”

Luna shrugs. “Even I can tell she would make a great CEO. In fact, I bet you’ve already seen gains under her management.”

“My daughter’s abilities aren’t in question. It’s a matter of right and wrong. Women belong at home. It’s why you became a nanny, right?”

“Paolo, you are way out of line,” Sam says, his voice taking on an uncharacteristically gruff tone. “I won’t have you speaking to Luna like that.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Luna sees Sofia rush off, heading back into the country club, not sticking around for any more of the conversation.

“It’s fine, Sam,” Luna says. The last thing she wants to do is cause a confrontation. It’d raise too many questions. Why is Sam so quick to defend the nanny and not his own fiancée? “This conversation is done anyway.”

Pushing her seat back, Luna throws her napkin on the table and gets up, leaving behind an awkwardly silent dinner party.

Sofia is a very fast walker, but Luna manages to keep a decent pace behind her, her platinum blonde hair making her an easy target to follow. The older woman heads to the restroom, angrily pushing open the door. Luna weaves through patrons of the club and various waiters carrying trays until she reaches the bathroom as well.

Luna is instantly swept up in just how fancy this restroom is. The lighting is dim, it smells like eucalyptus and mint, there’s soft music playing, and she’s pretty sure the faucets are made of real gold.

It isn’t until she hears a sniffle coming from one of the stalls that she is reminded of the reason she entered the restroom in the first place. Taking a peek under the stall, she sees Sofia’s signature Louboutin heels.

“Sofia, I know you’re in there.”

“Go away,” Sofia orders. Her tone doesn’t have its usual bite or chill. Luna frowns at how small she sounds. “I don’t need you here to coddle me.”

“I can’t do that. My conscience won’t let me leave a sad woman crying in the restroom alone.”

“I’m not crying!”

“Sure you’re not. But my point remains, I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

A minute ticks by and Luna is met with silence. Sofia is just as stubborn as she anticipated, maybe even more so.

She leans against the marble countertop, careful to not lean against any wet spots. “If anyone knows how you feel, it would be me.”

More silence.

“I’m a black woman in STEM,” Luna continues, not waiting for a response. “I don’t know what it’s like in the business world, but if I got a dime for every time a man, and sometimes other women, told me to not pursue chemistry, I’d probably be able to afford your shoes.”

“Really?”

Luna smiles to herself. Sofia actually responded to her! She’s making progress! “Really. I was told to focus on nursing or a social science, like sociology or anthropology by multiple teachers, classmates and counselors. Not saying there’s anything wrong with those fields, I think they’re great, but that wasn’t the path for me. I’ve always loved chemistry. I’ve had the periodic table memorized since I was in 3rd grade. Thankfully I have parents that support my passion, because everyone isn’t so lucky.”

Sofia scoffs. “Got that right. I got my BA from Yale, I graduated summa cum laude and I went to Wharton for grad school, but let my dad tell it, I simply wasted 6 years and half a million dollars in tuition costs. Those degrees mean nothing to him because he’s the stereotypical, conservative and traditional Italian man. I’m not the correct sex or gender for him. In a perfect world, I’d be the perfect song but instead, I’m his fussy daughter. I’m not supposed to do anything other than get pregnant and cook, and how dare I want anything else out of life.”

“I say this with the utmost respect, but your father is a sexist jerk,” Luna deadpans. “You can yell at me for saying it, but I don’t regret it. And I’m shocked Russo Industries is still standing because I can only imagine the HR complaints and harassment lawsuits against your father over the years.”

“There’s no need to apologize because it’s the truth. My father doesn’t respect me. He doesn’t respect women at all. My mother was never allowed to have an opinion, and mine isn’t all that valued either.”

“I thought taking the initiative and getting engaged to Sam would make him respect me,” Sofia adds. “I wanted to do this in order to prove to him that I’m worthy. I thought he’d see that I’m a go-getter, and I’m ambitious, and I want the Russo family to thrive, but he doesn’t care about the business aspect of the merger like I do. He’s just glad I found a rich husband.”

Another bout of silence falls between the two women, but this time it’s not as awkward as before. it’s almost peaceful. Luna still hears the occasional sniffle, but she doesn’t call any attention to it. Crying is too vulnerable for Sofia to be open about.

“Besides, I don’t know if things will even pan out the way I want them to,” Sofia says. “The boys aren’t that fond of me, and Sam is just so...cold. I’m trying to make this a decent transition, and I’m trying to find out where I fit in that family dynamic, but it’s not working. He didn’t want me around for his birthday, he doesn’t respect my opinion on how to raise Mickey and Mason. More times than not, it feels like he’s counting down the minutes until he has to be in my presence anymore.” The stall door opens up and Sofia steps out. Her eyes are bloodshot and her nose is red and raw. Luna averts her gaze quickly, not wanting to draw too much attention to it.

“I don’t even know if this is worth it anymore. I’m exhausted, and I’m trying to sustain a relationship all by myself. Sam can barely sustain a conversation with me, and my dad isn’t impressed, so what’s the point? What am I doing this all for?”

Luna frowns. Sofia has always seemed so...bold and intimidating, like nothing ever rattled her. But looking underneath the perfectly put together surface, Sofia is just a woman trying to fight and claw for every inch of success, despite the lack of a support system.

“I meant what I said earlier,” Luna says. “I think you’re smart, and I think you’d make an excellent CEO of Russo Industries. And I don’t think you need Sam at your side to do so.”

That shocks Sofia. Her eyebrows shoot up past her hairline at the compliment. “You really think so? You have that much faith in me?”

Luna doesn’t know if she’s giving Sofia this advice because she truly believes in it, or if a selfish part of her wants the other woman to leave Sam alone, so they can finally be together. Her stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought, full of guilt. Does this count as manipulation?

She swallows thickly, pushing down whatever guilt is trying to bubble to the surface and nods. “I do. You don’t need a man to be successful and fulfilled. You don’t need your dad’s approval. And you don’t need to feed into the bullshit cycle of misogyny that your dad perpetuates.”

Sofia walks over to the sink and turns the faucet. After she splashes cool water on her face, she turns back to Luna. “Thank you, I guess. No one has ever talked to my dad the way you did, especially not in defense of me. And thank you for coming in here.”

“You’re welcome. Even the rich and powerful Sofia Russos of the world need 5 minutes to vent and cry.”

“Never mention to anyone that you’ve seen me like this,” Sofia orders sharply. No one, especially people in New York high society, can know that the ice queen herself shows emotion. 

“What happens in the ladies’ room, stays in the ladies’ room. Scout’s honor.”

“Good.” Sofia sighs and straightens herself up. Luna watches the cool facade slip back into place as Sofia fixes her makeup and runs a brush through her hair. Sofia is back to being the poised, elegant woman everyone knows.

Once she’s done, she straightens out her clothes and heads to the door. Hesitating, Sofia lingers by the door. She turns back to Luna, her eyes softer than the younger woman has ever seen them. “You know what? Maybe I misjudged you. You aren’t as bad as I originally thought.”

A soft smile tugs on the corner of Luna’s mouth. “That’s high praise coming from you. I’ll take it.”

Without another word, Sofia sweeps out of the restroom, leaving Luna all alone, the sound of her heels clicking against the floors now an echo. With the presence of the other woman no longer stifling her, Luna lets out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding in.

She didn’t know what to expect coming in here to comfort Sofia, but now everything feels much more complicated.

[molsno]

I’m skipping the middleman on that trans ask game and just answering all the questions myself <3

this is long so it’s under a read more

1. How did you choose your name?

in senior year of high school, while I was in french class, I was thinking about the word vivre, to live, and how it conjugated. I forget what tense it is, but one way of conjugating it is “nous vivions”, and it dawned on me that the name vivian is based on the word vivre (or its latin origin). of course, I already liked the name due to the character from paper mario ttyd, but knowing that it means life really spoke to me, as I think the ability to live is a precious thing that shouldn’t be wasted. I decided pretty much then and there that I would name my daughter vivian some day. well... then I got the chance to play a character in my friend’s danganronpa killing game, and I thought playing a girl would be interesting. granted, I also already knew I was an egg and saw this as an opportunity to try out my favorite name, so I created vivian tamochi. as you might have guessed, I loved being her so much that I made vivian my actual name

2. What gives you the most dysphoria?

um, hearing recordings of my own voice probably. I always think that I sound very feminine but then I hear a recording of myself and it sounds like a bad impression

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

more social I guess? actually yeah I think all of the dysphoria-induced breakdowns I’ve had have been because of social things

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

something that helps a lot is shaving, especially when it’s a fullbody shave

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

this is a bit embarrassing but it was honestly christmas eve 2018. I saw my little cousin (I think she was 8 at the time) wearing a pretty dress and I felt sort of jealous that I never got to do that when I was her age. I was so confused about this feeling that I told my trans friend kyra about it and after asking me to clarify what I meant she linked me to the egg_irl subreddit. that was the first time I seriously considered it

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

I told my friend amanda how I’d been confused about my gender and she offered to take me to goodwill to try on some clothes. I was extremely nervous about it while we were there and I really had to work up the courage to not only pick out some clothes to try, but also take them to the fitting room with me. but once I put on a skirt for the first time I stood there for like a solid 5 minutes just looking at myself in the mirror with the biggest happiest smile on my face. in that moment I finally understood what gender euphoria was. I couldn’t deny I was trans any longer, it was just a matter of working up the courage to tell people

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

um, probably that I feel like a person now. also the little things, like seeing my hips get bigger or looking at how long my hair has gotten. just little things to smile about!

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

um, I’m girl <3

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

I mean it depends on who, but I decided to do it on national coming out day 2019, in my discord server with friends. basically I commented on it being national coming out day and reposted my intro in the introductions channel with my new name and pronouns. everyone there sorta saw it coming I’m pretty sure

10. What have your experiences been with packing or tucking?

I’ve tucked a few times in public. it’s uncomfortable for sure, but not terrible once you get used to it. the idea of it made me squeamish at first, I’ll admit. but since I haven’t had much excuse to go out in girlmode the past year or so, I haven’t tucked much

11. What are your experiences with binding or wearing breast forms?

the closest I’ve ever gotten to wearing breast forms is wearing a bra every day for..... almost a year now? it doesn’t serve much purpose other than letting me feel something there, though that is changing since I’ve been on hrt for several months

12. Do you pass?

I mean... probably not? I feel like I’m very visibly trans. there have been like two times where I’ve been gendered correctly in public (one in girlmode, one not) but those are extremely rare

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

well I’ve been on hrt for 8 months now so that’s one thing. I want to get laser hair removal for my facial hair because that’s one of the biggest sources of dysphoria for me, but yknow. that’s expensive! according to my understanding my insurance supposedly should cover bottom surgery, but I’m honestly in no rush to get that. I don’t really have much bottom dysphoria, but it would be nice to get surgery some day

14. How long have you been out?

it’s been about a year and two months now...... time flies

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

up until I was like 17 I was incredibly insistent on being cis and straight despite very obvious (in retrospect) signs to the contrary. around 18 I was very confused why all my friends were lgbt in some form and also I kinda started realizing I don’t mind dick, and I thought it would all make sense if I was bi. I identified as cis and bi for like 4 years or so but the longer it went on the more wrong it felt considering I had never once during that time been attracted to a man

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?

surprisingly not really? the most transphobia I’ve experienced has been a result of automated processes like proctored testing or emails. of course, I’ve seen all the nasty shit that terfs say about people like me, but I’ve never been a victim of it directly

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

if there is a universal restroom that I can lock from inside then I use that. if not, I sigh dramatically and sadly use the men’s room

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

truthfully I don’t know. my mom seems accepting enough, but with the pandemic going on I haven’t talked to her much. I know my sister is aware, and shockingly she seems supportive too, but we haven’t talked about it in depth

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

if I could go stealth I would. I’m sorry but I don’t want to be visibly trans

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

the sooner you start transitioning the happier you’ll be. by denying this part of yourself you’re just making yourself miserable

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?

she/her makes me happiest. I’ve (against my will, mind you) used they/them and been called molsno in a group that I wasn’t out in, and..... it made me feel..... distant, I guess? it was better than he/him, but it felt much less personal

22. Do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

I mean...... yeah? as a trans lesbian it’s very easy for me to hate masculinity given how it’s instilled nothing but negative feelings in me literally my entire life, and being autistic makes it harder to understand how the things I say about gender negatively impact the people around me

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

the fear that I may never be able to believe I can be loved as a woman, probably

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

coming out nearly everywhere and getting on hrt!

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

I desperately wish cis people understood even the basics of trans issues. still to this day many cis people don’t even know the right terminology to use for trans people. they think “trans man” and “trans woman” mean the opposite of what they actually mean and that’s just so goddamn frustrating. many of them think transitioning is just bottom surgery and that’s it. like, they don’t know anything about hrt. cis people please educate yourselves on trans issues I’m begging you

26. What impact has being trans had on your life?

it’s affected many aspects of my life but I think the biggest one is that I feel like a person now. I always felt like a robot, or like someone putting on a performance before, but I feel like a human being now

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

ummm... not much really. I guess one thing that has helped is making my character astrid trans? because if I ever think something bad about myself I can stop myself and ask if I would think the same thing about her, and of course the answer is no.

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?

it’s bad. trans women very rarely get any positive representation. like the only transfem characters that come to mind that I think were handled well were lily hoshikawa from zombieland saga and vivian from paper mario (although even that’s debatable given the english censorship about her gender and the way beldam abuses her in japanese). meanwhile nonbinary representation consists almost exclusively of aliens, shapeshifters, robots, etc. and trans men get literally nothing. like. trans representation is just so abysmal it’s not even funny

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

umm....... I don’t really care about celebrities lol. if I were to answer this question it would be “oh yes I’ve heard of these people”

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

gosh, how could I ever decide? most of my friends are trans so it’s hard to say but if I had to answer.... my friends kyra and modeus were probably the most helpful when I was figuring myself out

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

mostly online

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

I’ll almost certainly still be a woman, and hopefully my transition will have gone well enough that I’ll be able to pass

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?

healthcare. the difficulty so many people face with getting access to trans healthcare is ridiculous and discriminatory. I’ve written essays for school about this topic and they were the easiest essays I’ve had to write because of how passionate I am about this

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

pick your head up queen/king/royal, your cat ears are falling down

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

well I’m white, able bodied, average weight, and I’m about to get a degree in computer science, so I have a lot of privilege that other trans people don’t have. I fully recognize that. it breaks my heart that so many less privileged trans people, particularly trans women of color, are murdered and never even get the justice they deserve. I wish there was more I could do to stop it, but privileged as I am, I’m only one person. I want everyone to be aware of who the major victims of transphobia are. look out for black trans women especially, they need your protection and support most of all

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

not much. I’m a woman with a very feminine gender expression, when I’m free to be. the biggest feminine thing that I don’t do is makeup, but that’s more due to dysphoria rather than a distaste for it

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

feminine uwu

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

I am a lesbian and that is very epic of me. I love girls and seeing girls in love makes me happy and imagining myself as a girl in love with another girl makes me even happier

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

I always hate admitting this, but due to personal reasons, my ideal partner is cis. this is mostly because I very much want to have biological children, and that’s simply not possible with another trans woman. I wouldn’t rule out an afab nonbinary person entirely, it just really depends on how comfortable said person is with femininity and also how they feel about dating a lesbian. if not for my desire to have kids (which is not something I’m willing to compromise on since it has been my lifelong dream) I would have a lot more options. truth be told, cis women kind of scare me, and it would be so much easier to date someone who fundamentally understands what it’s like to be trans. but biology is cruel unfortunately

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

it was incredibly difficult. thankfully, it didn’t last very long. I only had to wait about 6 months, and most of that time was spent waiting until I was able to bank sperm because I didn’t want to risk becoming permanently infertile after starting hrt

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

ngl...... reddit. the trans boards have many, many helpful resources for transfem people. I don’t really go there anymore but it was immensely helpful in the early stages

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

I mean..... yeah, but not very much anymore on account of the pandemic. I made a few trans friends junior year of college and we still talk occasionally, but it’s been several months since I last saw them all

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

not really 😔

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

“Wow Vivi how come you’re so epic?”

I was born this way <3

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

I know I can’t stand you, but please stay anyway? (pt 4)

Pt1|Last Chapter| Ao3

Warnings: Family Christmas, Arguing (really more like bickering, though), Profanity, a lot of original characters

Pairings: Moceit

Patton hates lying. Patton never tells lies. Patton has told a massive lie. Ethan can’t stand Patton. He has no reason to ever help him. Except, of course, the most obvious one. A fake relationship, a family Christmas, and other shenanigans ensue

“Patton! Welcome home sweetheart, it’s so good to see you!”

“Mum!”

The door opened to reveal a smiling individual in a Christmas sweater who Ethan could only assume was Pauline Hart.

Almost instantly, Patton’s slightly tense expression from earlier disappeared as he embraced his mother, and the two gushed briefly about how happy they were to see each other, how handsome Patton had gotten, how wonderful the lights looked, how fun the week would be, and the possibility of snow later in the week. Neither of them stopped to take a breath or stopped smiling at any point in the exchange. Definitely Patton’s mother.

Patton finally drew away, smiling guiltily at Ethan as if he’d forgotten his presence.

“Uh, Mum? This is…um, this is him. My, um, I mean, this is Ethan.”

Mrs Hart beamed, looking at him as if she didn’t even notice how out of place Ethan’s long, messy hair and dark clothing looked in her incredibly immaculate hallway. Ethan almost felt bad that his entire acquaintance with this woman was about to be based on a lie. Did the entire family possess some kind of weird super power that compelled people around them to be nice?

Well, one could still argue that the goodness of helping and possibly wooing Patton outweighed the badness of lying to a woman he barely knew, so Ethan didn’t feel too guilty for putting on a polite smile and extending his hand.

“It’s an absolute pleasure to finally meet you, ma’am,”

She completely disregarded his hand, instead pulling him into a warm hug.

“Oh, it’s so wonderful to meet you too, sweetie! And please, there are no formalities in this household, okay? When you’re here, you can call me Pauline, or if you’re comfortable with it, you can call me ‘mum’, most of Patton’s little friends do, but either away, I don’t want to hear any of this ‘ma’am’ nonsense, alright?”

Ethan couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Patton to see him struggling not to inform Pauline that they weren’t ‘actually’ friends.

“Come on in loves, you must be exhausted, how was your journey?” She ushered them into a cozy living room, already decorated for Christmas, with what Ethan personally considered an inordinate amount of tinsel on literally every surface. He did appreciate the Santa hats taped over family pictures though.

Patton looked equal parts impressed and mildly annoyed as Pauline pressed tea into both of their hands and Ethan sat slightly too close to him as he complimented Pauline on her impeccable taste in quirky throw pillows.

(His personal favourite was one with scrabble pieces spelling out ‘puns not dead’. He was starting to see where Patton’s entire personality originated from.)

“Oh, Ethan you’re far too sweet. Patton, why on earth would you wait so long to invite him home?”

“Mum…” Patton muttered, turning slightly red.

“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable question, honey. Ethan, don’t you think it’s more than reasonable for a mother to wonder what kind of man her son has been seeing for more than three years?”

“Mum!”

“I’m just asking a question! Especially when your young man is this lovely Patton, I’m almost astounded at your lack of manners here, mister.”

Ethan decided to rescue him.

“Actually Pauline, I’m afraid that in this instance you have me to blame. Patton has been pushing for this meeting for years. I actually kept putting it off, because the prospect of disappointing two people so important to Patton was too daunting to face. I’m so sorry for any concern I may have caused you.”

Ethan gagged internally. He sounded like Roman trying to get his way. It was effective in this instance however, with Pauline giving him a touched look and waving away his apology.

“Well it’s very sweet of you to worry, but I assure you, you have absolutely nothing to worry about here. As long as you’re making Patton happy, I’ve got absolutely no problems with you.”

Ethan ignored Patton’s pointed look. That kind of thing was very easy to say, but he knew better than to take it at face value. Pauline certainly seemed like a nice woman, but so did most sweet old white ladies when one had only spoken to them for fifteen minutes.

“Well, now that you are here, why don’t you tell me more about yourself, Ethan? I feel like I barely know you at all! Every time I tried asking this one more about you, he’d start making excuses and try to get off the phone- I was starting to think you might not be real!”

Patton flushed beet red, opening his mouth as if to protest, before shutting it again in favour of burying his face in a pillow that claimed “Stay Pawsitive” (Complete with an illustration of a corgi).

He grew increasingly squirmier as Ethan made polite conversation with Pauline, about his plans for his future, surprised to find that he was actually enjoying himself somewhat. Clearly, he had a knack for impressing mothers. If things with Patton didn’t work out, he could start a very lucrative career as a fake boyfriend-for-hire.

“Mum, when does Vivian get home?” Patton cut in, apparently tired of having Ethan monopolizing his mother’s attention. “She said she’ll be arriving today.”

“She is, sweetheart, your dad’s just gone to pick her and Andre up. You know, the airport’s so far away, and they have a toddler to keep track of, so I insisted he go and give them a hand.” She turned her attention back to Ethan almost immediately. “But, Patton, you never told me you were dating a lawyer in the making!”

Patton rolled his eyes as discreetly as he could whilst Ethan preened under the attention. Was it petty of him to enjoy this so much despite how much it was clearly irritating Patton? Probably, but he was having far too much fun to stop now.

“Mum, I think Ethan is tired!” He cut in for the second time, now looking over at Ethan. “He was just saying, how he always gets worn out by travelling, weren’t you? Can I show him up to my room, and then you and I can catch up while he gets some rest?”

“That’s really not necessary-“ Ethan protested. He didn’t want to go upstairs when he’d just begun enjoying himself! When was the last time someone gushed over him like this?

“He’s just being shy mum, E’s always so worried about coming across as rude, but he hardly ever gets as much sleep as he should, and it’s really, really important to me that he use this vacation finally rest.”

Almost instantaneously, Pauline’s polite but happy demeanour gave way to a grim look filled with pure, terrifying, motherly concern. Ethan got the feeling that if he didn’t get himself upstairs immediately, he would be forcibly tucked in with a bedtime story.

“Well, Ethan, that just won’t do!”

“Really, ma’am, I-“

“Now, I know you young people are very ambitious these days, thinkin’ you can just stay up all night studying and then go to class the next day-“

“It’s not quite like that-“ It was, in fact, almost exactly like that, but she didn’t need to know that.

“But there is nothing more important than your own health! I’m sure you’re a very smart boy, but I don’t want to hear of you overworking yourself like that, okay?”

“… yes, ma’am.”

Pauline peered at him over her glasses, somehow managing to look far more intimidating than her son ever had, despite the fact that she was probably smaller than even Patton.

“And what have I told you about calling me ma’am?”

“Yes…Pauline?”

“Better. Now, I’ve set up Patton’s room for the two of you, it’s the first door on the left upstairs. I’d like you to go upstairs and rest yourself, please. As I said before, there are no formalities in this household, and I won’t hear of you depriving yourself of much needed rest for the sake of impressing me, okay?”

“…okay.” His voice came out far meeker than he was expecting.

Patton grinned at him far too sweetly. “Do you want me to show you the way?”

Fortunately, the sudden reminder that he was far sneakier than his cat pyjamas suggested only served to make Ethan more attracted to him.

He grinned at Patton, matching the other’s saccharine sweetness perfectly. “Very kind of you to offer, darling, but I think I’ll be okay.”

—

Not that he’d ever previously put any thought into the matter, but Patton’s childhood bedroom was exactly what he’d expected it would be. It had clearly been kept lovingly exactly the same as it must have been when Patton left for uni – from the collection of worn soft toys in the corner, to the collage of notes, postcards, and photos of a young Patton with an assortment of smiling friends. He recognized and took a quick picture of a baby-faced Logan in a too large tie to send to Virgil later.

“You know, you could probably give Ro a run for his money.” He whirled around to see Patton standing in the doorway, a wry smile on his face. “You’re surprisingly good at acting.”

“Shouldn’t you be downstairs bonding, or whatever?”

Patton pouted, making his way over to his bed. “Mum said it would be rude of me to leave you alone like this and sent me up. I expect we’ll be pushed together like this quite a lot over the week.”

Ethan gasped, bringing his hand up to his chest in mock horror. “You mean to tell me your parents expect us, a supposed couple of more than three years, to enjoy spending time together? Tell me it isn’t so!” He sat next to Patton. “You poor thing, stuck with your worst enemy all week long. Next thing you know, they’ll expect you to actually sit through a conversation with me present without getting huffy.”

Patton blushed, frowning down at his lap. “I don’t consider you my worst enemy.” He mumbled.

“Oh? Then you have someone you hate more than me?”

“I don’t hate you, Ethan!” Patton burst out, before immediately being silenced by Ethan’s hand over his mouth. “Mmph, what are you-“

“Oh, I’m sorry, have you forgotten that your mother is in the house? Or is your intention to make her think that we’re on the verge of breaking up?”

Patton looked slightly sheepish as Ethan removed his hand, continuing at a quieter volume. “I don’t hate you, I just,” he trailed off with a sigh “I do wish you were nicer sometimes.”

Ethan hummed, leaning closer to Patton and running his hand up his freckled arm. Patton frowned at the contact, but he didn’t move away. “Right, because you always react so well to my attempts at being nice to you.” He murmured the words softly in Patton’s ear, hoping his quiet voice would prompt Patton to look him in the eye.

It didn’t. He could see that Patton was biting the inside of his cheeks, an action Ethan had come to associate with his nervousness.

“I can never tell when you’re actually being nice.” Patton finally spoke, fiddling with his shirt. “You’re always making fun of me, specifically of me; you don’t mess with the others nearly as much, anyone would think you hated me.”

“As if I could hate you,” Ethan scoffed, ignoring Patton’s disbelieving look, “You’re always so nice, and kind.”

For fucks sake, he knew he was telling the truth and he barely believed himself. Why could he never just be straightforward when it came to this guy?

“See, this is what I mean! This is what I mean, you can’t even say something nice about me without sounding like you’re making fun!”

Ethan opened his mouth to protest but Patton was already shaking his head, clearly unwilling to continue this line of conversation.

“You know what, never mind. I mean, it hardly matters. Either way, I’m thankful that you’re helping me out. I’m sure we can act normal around each other for the next week, right? And then we’ll only ever have to see each other when all our friends are around!”

He offered him another obviously, horribly, fake grin, and Ethan’s gut twisted.

Yes, obviously, that’s what I want, I’ve agreed to come out with you to the middle of fucking nowhere and interact with your entire family, because I saw you distraught and couldn’t handle it until you were happy again, because I want to stop interacting with you.

Predictably, he didn’t say any of this. Instead, he raised an eyebrow at Patton, drawing away slightly. “Right, because we’ve been so good at acting normal so far, I can’t imagine that’ll present any issues at all.”

Patton frowned at him, “What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing; I’m certainly not referring to the fact that you consistently jump ten feet in the air every time I touch you or move near you, in fact, I’m sure most normal couple dynamics also include one person consistently regarding the other as if they’re afraid of them.”

Patton blushed furiously, hissing at him, “I am not afraid of you- no, don’t look at me like that, I’m not! You just, you just startle me sometimes, that’s all! You can’t just randomly start acting all…funny, without any kind of warning!”

“So, you’re telling me that if I just asked you for a kiss right now, you’d have no problem with complying?”

Well, that definitely wasn’t pushing his luck at all.

“Actually, yeah, I think that’d be nice. You know, I’d just like some warning if you’re going to, um.” Patton drew off as he saw Ethan raise his eyebrows.

“So, if I asked you for a kiss right now…” he repeated, a smile tugging at his lips. It wasn’t like he expected Patton to say yes, more likely he’d just roll his eyes and glare cutely at him all over again, and frankly, that was fine by him.

“Okay.”

Wait, what?

Patton looked slightly nervous, but he said, “I mean, we probably will have to, um, at some point, and I’d rather the first time at least be without an audience so we don’t get to nervous, I guess, so yeah, if you want to-“

Oh. Well, he was certainly prepared for this. It definitely wasn’t like he’d ever imagined kissing Patton before. In fact, this was exactly how he’d always wanted it to go. It wasn’t like imagining it was any different to it actually happening. Oh, god, his heart definitely wasn’t beating any faster at all.

“Um, E? You okay? Were you being serious about, uh, or-“

Patton was offering him an out. He could just say he’d been joking; he wouldn’t have to-

He kissed Patton.

For someone who’d blushed and stuttered every time he tried to talk about it, Patton was kissing him back with surprising conviction, gripping the front of his shirt as he chased his lips. Fuck, now Ethan really hoped he was able to make some sort of sincere move by the end of the week, because he really didn’t want to have to move on from this.

Patton’s smiled at him shyly as they separated. “Alright?”

Ethan couldn’t resist.

“Oh, more than alright, Patton. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I might even say you’ve done this before”

This time, his teasing had exactly the intended effect.

Patton’s smile disappeared. “I’ve kissed people before, you jerk,” he muttered, before tugging him back in so he could bite at his lower lip.

Ethan was only too happy to return the favour.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!”

The two men jerked apart, turning towards the door.

“Vivian?”

Taglist:

@lunatatic

[knoxabernathy]

hey everyone drew here with another little demon child (actually, my first real demon child) knox, a member of the horrible collection of people otherwise known as the abernathys. i have some more information about him under the cut, but if you wanna plot, like this post and i will come to you <3

@frostfordstart

Knox is the eldest son and second eldest overall of the Abernathy family. Papa Abernathy considers him his legacy child, and Mama Abernathy doted on him. His opinions of them are not so glowing – he thinks Mama is frivolous and vapid, he thinks Papa is overrated and a has-been.

Papa Abernathy was a Judge and was forced into resignation for his underhanded dealings and also disbarred – probably practiced in Mobile, but it was big news for a while. That’s really when Knox started to lose respect for his dad. He was a junior associate at the time, and he was less than impressed with his response to the whole ordeal.

Reallyyyy does not care for most of his siblings, he only really cares about Vivian and Joel. Vivian he considers his almost equal, which is why he asked her to go into practice with him. They took over Pop’s old firm, and they were able to recoup a lot of business. Joel is the only other sibling who isn’t a total lost cause, and Knox probably it’s because he doesn’t share their complete DNA.

Went to law school at UA, also was a top of the class graduate. He is VERY serious about his work, he lives and breathes it, probably to prove to himself that he is better than his father. But tbh, their firm is still pretty corrupt, they definitely take some shortcuts and will lie, steal, and cheat to win.

He is “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” personified. Vain, prideful, vain, superiority complex, manipulative, did I mention vain?

Definitely has some highkey les Liaisons Dangereuses inspo, so Knox will smile and act very friendly to your face and utter something terrible behind your back. He likes the façade of being a good person™ - he is definitely on some charitable boards, does some philanthropic work, takes a handful of pro bono cases a year, and is a DAR darling. But it is the least genuine shit ever.

He can be very charming and smooth, wants people to like him, even if is his act is not sincere.

He does some criminal defense work, but focuses a large part of his legal practice on probate – so wills, advanced directives, and trusts are his bread and butter. He is not much of a litigator, he lives that to his sister, who is the courtroom shark. 

Tbh, Knox REALLY wants a trophy wife. This whole rich bachelor thing was never what he had envisioned for himself. I have headcanoned that he’s had several engagements (or serious relationships) that he really wanted to follow through on, but his family keeps scaring off his potential wives. He spends all this time wooing them and winning them over, and his family never fails to ruin his plans.

He lives on a few acres on the outskirts of Frostford – he shares the property with his sister, but they have their own houses. They do share a tennis court, pool, and stables.

wanted connections

EX FIANCEES OR SERIOUS GIRLFRIENDS – I am super flexible about this, but please. Also, I can promise to deliver angst, you really wanna pass that up???

CURRENT FIANCEE / LOVE INTEREST – Knox really doesn’t know when to give up, so it would be cool if there’s someone he is currently pursuing

ONE GENUINE FRIEND – He’s the guy who keeps his inner circle very tight – like, one person kinda tight. There is probably one person who knows the real~ Knox, and who he respects

CLIENTS – Knox dabbles in criminal defense (it is what the firm was known for when run by his dad), but Knox mostly does wills and such. Anyone who has a bit of money or a relative who has passed and inherited something, chances are you dealt with him

Anything tbh he may be terrible but his reputation says he is a good guy™

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x14 & 3x15 Reviews

Hammer Time and Unloading Zone were two good eps that were somewhat marred by filler. Let’s dig in!

Positives: 

It’s good to teach kids early that there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism. 

I’ll give them credit for not bearding TJ and for having him explicitly say that that he and Kira are not together. Also really drove home how petty and manipulative Kira is. 

The Tyrus scenes were brief but not as angsty as I thought. It’s very clear they’re pushing the bounds of subtext and showing that Cyrus has a crush on TJ and wants to make that known but of course we can’t start moving into text until after the cut episode. I think this is the ep that probably clues in the casual audience that Cyrus does in fact like TJ as more than a friend though knowledge that they’re being set up to be a couple won’t come until Something to Talk A-Boot (unless they happen to see the promo with the Bench scene).

They’ve clearly set up Buffy as Cyrus’ crush confidante, making sure all talk of TJ is kept away from Andi and Jonah which is sad but unsurprising. It wouldn’t shock me if Andi and Jonah don’t explicitly know about Cyrus’ crush until after the bench scene itself. Great to see Buffy being so encouraging although she can’t explicitly say anything yet. 

I wonder if that whole ‘’brings out his eyes’’ bit will come back during or after the bench scene. TJ is wearing a green shirt at the party that would bring out his eyes. Maybe that will be a Disney approved gay version of the typical straight guy calling his love interest pretty.

Those were some great Muffy scenes. I know there were some worries on tumblr about their chemistry after 3x13 but those should be put to rest now I think.

Extremely easy to see the Muffy arc ending in a kiss in the finale. 

Bringing Garren back was a very wise decision on the writers part. That ‘’ I want to cross the finish line’’ with you line was a great little nod to them being endgame. And that piggyback ride Marty gave Buffy was sweet. 

Really good subtle message sent by the camp out that it should be totally normal for a straight guy to have sleepovers with his gay friend. 

Andi’s line about Jonah maybe not being capable of more emotional connection than his usual 6 emojis is damning but I also wonder if it’s set up for him to subvert that when he sings You Girl.

A sad reminder about Amber’s awful home life. It’s clear she’s seeking the love and attention she’s not getting at home from her parents but Jonah is really not the solution. 

In 3x15 we get some foreshadowing for Buffy’s later foot injury

Nice to see Jonah participating in the protest and I always enjoy when they lean into Jonah being kind of dumb.

We still managed to get an Alpaca cameo after all. Also confirms that the original 3x18 at Snuck Farm was indeed planned as the original wedding. 

The don’t hurt yourself lines Cyrus and Jonah had were very funny. 

Cyrus referenced the Tunguska event most likely

Lauren Tom knocked it out of the park with her emotional scenes in both eps. i wish we had seen more of this Celia in S3 instead of wacky grandma 

Liked Officer Penn’s Clint Eastwood impression. And interesting that they used a white male cop as a bad guy. 

Celia’s snow globe was a lovely gift. According to Disney PR, it was inspired by Terri’s snow globe collection and Lilan and Trent didn’t know what was inside the box until they opened it. 

Liked the Game of Thrones reference (at least the Andi Mack finale can’t be worse than that show’s) 

Loved the music in the cold open, it was the same they used for scene transitions in 3x07. 

I try not to pass judgment on the show because the whole Ham situation is so awful and unprecedented but that convo about him going to India really skated close to dark humour especially when Celia said ‘’don’t worry you’ll see him again’’.

Negatives: 

Notice how they kept Kira making TJ feel bad about his crush out of the previously on and instead focused on her disliking Cyrus because he’s Buffy’s friend. I do think Kira gets called out for that by TJ during the finale but it’s clear for now that they’re trying to pass this off as her hating Buffy and liking TJ and wanting him for herself. 

They had Luke and Raquel for a day but filmed quite a bit less than their typical maximum. TJ himself only got 2:45 minutes of screentime, including being in the background, which is a little less than his usual 3 minutes. 

Which isn’t a surprise, TJ’s screen time operates by a different math than other recurring characters. It’s the same pattern in both S2 and S3, he can be in 9 aired eps max and only 3 eps after the 13th ep of the season. Luckily in S3 Disney only ordered 21 eps so instead of only 3 TJ eps spread out over 12 eps we got 3 spread out over 8 until the FBI knocked that down to 7. 

It’s not a question of budget, they had a much higher per ep budget in S3, nor was it scheduling since Luke had no other projects and they were able to work around Garren’s GH filming schedule right through the finale and re-shoots nor was there a 9 ep limit on recurring characters as Emily was in 11 of the original 21 this season. 

Not to mention they’ve been drastically cutting TJ’s screentime with Cyrus. Luckily they do probably have to give him a bit more than 3 minutes in Something to Talk A-Boot and hopefully gets more than 3 in the finale. 

The Cyrus and Jonah plot was sweet but pure filler. I never expected Cyrus to talk to Jonah about his feelings or anything related to his sexuality but was there nothing else they could even briefly touch on? Jonah’s anxiety? Cyrus’ anxiety? Jonah’s family problems? It’s not like Terri didn’t know the show was going to end just 7 eps later in otl so why waste this time? It’s most likely the last significant solo time those two have and they should have used it more wisely.

Vivian turned out to be completely useless. Seems like they cut some of her lines but I really don’t get her purpose. 

The clothing protest was rushed and the ending was very unsatisfying. It hurt the plot that we never actually saw anyone connected to the company.

Celia and Bex didn’t really patch up either and I’m guessing things weren’t truly fixed until Bex agreed to put the wedding back on in 3x17 in otl. 

Amber is in love with Jonah? This is what they’re dedicating so much screen time to in these final eps? 

They really ruined the swings for nothing. At least we get nice scenes in Something to Talk A-Boot and the finale

Kira really is something. She’s trying to get a a guy she knows is gay to date her which is insane

I was expecting there to be very little in this final TJ ep before the original wedding in part because of Terri’s instagram post back in November right after Josh revealed the endgame had changed and right before they shot the original 3x18 where she screenshotted a tweet that said Andi Mack fans should stop accusing the show of queer baiting or blaming Disney censorship in regards to Cyrus’ story line. Writers let their work speak for them and that Terri posted that was a sign that the criticism hit to close to home. 

The show is not queer baiting and 3x11 was an all time great but to pretend there hasn’t been long running censorship from Disney is a straight up lie and excluding 3x11 there’s really been very little. I’m sure she had planned for the bench scene for a while but she couldn’t have known that she’d get it approved until it was time to write the finale. Disney seemed committed to some sort of Tyrus endgame but it very easily could have been just them standing together smiling at the end in which case this whole mess of a plot would have been for nothing. She was reckless but got very lucky that Disney didn’t screw her over. I hope whoever ends up making the next Disney show with a gay story line will know not to bite off more than they can chew. 

Looking Ahead:

Things are in some ways simpler and in some ways messier for Tyrus. TJ seems to have accepted Kira as a friend but is refusing to use her as a beard and still wants to hang with Cyrus. Cyrus thinks TJ is straight but has seemingly forgiven him for costume day so that conflict is swept under the rug. Either Kira does a complete 180 off screen and apologizes in her 45 seconds of speaking time in the finale or she’s just there so Cyrus can be sad and TJ tells her off and then goes to speak to Cyrus without her getting any real development or redemption. Either way it’s going to be wild going from closeted TJ to TJ having a boyfriend and being out to at least several people all in like 3-4 minutes of screentime.  

She really is only looking at something like 30-45 seconds of speaking time in the finale and not all that much more of background time if she’s lucky as Raquel was only on set for one day and it was the same day all the other main and recurring kids were also filming and she was only 14 at the time which means she can be on set a little less than most of the other kids. And her insta story shows that it was just her and Luke in the school room and after she finished class she was just hanging on set until they wrapped for the day. 

If she’s not getting a redemption arc than most likely they’ll follow up with what Buffy said and she’ll say something mean about Cyrus that will cause TJ to drop his willful blindness and tell her off or she gets tired of waiting and tries to demand that TJ dates her and he tells her off. Either way Cyrus would likely see them and mistake it for them having a moment. 

 This does mean that TJ doesn’t need to redeem himself so much in Something to Talk A-Boot at the theatre or the game. That TJ is even at those events and hanging with Cyrus over at least two days in universe means he’s either not hanging with Kira or he still is but is less vulnerable to her manipulation.

So the prop garbage was for community service after all. Wild

They really went there with the stereotypes about Asian people. I think great things can come of this plot and I’m excited to see Andi’s art plot line take off. 

Now we know why Jonah says ‘’why can’t it just be fun? Why does it have to be love?’’ There’s almost no chance this Amber in love with Jonah story won’t be a trainwreck but hopefully it’s an entertaining one. I really don’t know if there’s anything they can do for Amber’s home life. Her parents divorcing would probably help in the long term but it would be a very depressing ending to her arc. 

Really does seem to be no set up for Jandi but we’ll see how long they can keep their lead girl completely romance free. Lilan and Asher have both talked about Jonah and Andi being settled and Disney has been hyping up Jandi moments and of course Jonah sings You Girl so something is going to happen. With the new promos suggesting Andi might be moving away in the finale, probably for her art, I wonder if they have an ending where they’re not officially together but they know they like each other and that the universe will always guide them back to one another or some hippy crap like that. 

Presumably Bowie still wants to get married. Wonder how they’ll get the wedding back on track without Ham’s help. 

Mack chat kids hate Kira but no mention of Tyrus which is no surprise. On the plus side this means we get Luke guest starring for either Something to Talk A-Boot or the finale and it seems that Josh was a finale guest so they will have to talk about Tyrus even if only briefly. 

I’ll talk more about the new promos tomorrow but I’m so glad that they’re teasing the bench scene.

Only 5 more weeks left!

[hunnywrites]

Sixteen Candles: Part Three

Summary: It’s the day that Vivian has been looking forward to nearly her entire life: her sixteenth birthday. But between her sister’s wedding overshadowing her big day, and praying that her crush Billy Hargrove will finally notice her things aren’t going too well for her. If she can just survive the under the sea dance at her school and avoid the really weird and creepy Tommy H her night might be salvageable. Maybe.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/OFC

Sarah, Kevin and Vivian’s parents had left for dinner about twenty minutes ago. Since Enzo’s was the nicest, or really the only nice restaurant in town, they were hoping it would impress Kevin’s snooty parents. It probably wouldn’t. Now Vivian’s grandparents were left in charge. Which meant they would be eating dry meatloaf for dinner and her grandma would remind them over and over of the dangers of underage drinking and premarital sex. Vivian almost put her fork through her eye. 

She hadn’t gotten a dress for the dance. She had been holding out until the last minute hoping that her mother would decide against forcing her to go. Instead Sarah lent her a dress that she didn’t want anymore because it was “totally out of style” and wouldn’t be caught dead in. Vivian didn’t really get why. It was a cute dress. It was a deep red, velvet dress with a Bardot neckline that stopped just above her knees. It was a little bit ill fitting. Sarah was practically waifish and Vivian had wider hips and a bit more of a fuller figure like their mother. The dress ended up showing off that “nice little figure” her grandma had told her she had a little bit too much for her liking. But if she threw her leather jacket over it it wasn’t so bad. 

Her hair had won the battle of Vivian trying to tame it. She’d cut her curly red hair about a month ago to her shoulders, hoping that it would make it easier to manage. It didn’t. She guessed it made her look cool. Casual. Like she didn’t really care that much. Plus, after Carol started pounding on the bathroom door and threatening her, she didn’t really have much of a choice but to give up. 

Now it was time to wait for Tommy to show up to drive them to the dance. Carol was back in her bedroom getting dressed and singing loudly and very off key along with Madonna to Burning Up. Vivian was in Sarah’s room, standing in front of the full length mirror hanging on the back of her door. She didn’t feel like she was sixteen. She didn’t look any different than when she had been fifteen. But had she ever felt different after her birthday? Had she always been too wrapped up in all the cake and presents to notice?

She let out a soft huff and turned to the side. She felt ridiculous in Sarah’s dress. Like she was trying too hard almost. There was a brief moment when Vivian wondered if Billy would like it. Maybe that was the change. Worrying so much about what a boy thought of her. Or catching herself day dreaming way too often about all the things she wanted to do with Billy that always made her cheeks grow all hot. And then there was being faced with the fact that absolutely none of those things would happen in a million years. Vivian let out a groan. Growing up sucked. 

“Girls! Thomas is here!” Vivian rolled her eyes at the sound of her grandma’s voice. No one called Tommy H Thomas. It made him sound way too mature when really he had the mentality of a thirteen year old. Carol poked her head out of her room and yelled down that she would be out in a minute. Which in Carol speak meant more like ten. Vivian reluctantly made her way downstairs to the living room where Tommy was waiting by the front door. He gave her a slow once over and grinned at her. Vivian suddenly felt like little red riding hood trapped in a room with the big bad wolf. 

“Lookin’ good, Viv. That a new dress?” Vivian plopped down onto the couch and instinctively turned her body away from Tommy. She hated having to be alone with him.

“Uh, not really. It’s actually Sarah’s.” she tugged at the end of her dress in an attempt to cover up a bit more of her legs. Tommy didn’t hide the fact that he was looking at them. Vivian had never understood what Carol saw in him. They’d somehow been together since Vivian was in elementary school. It made the fact that Tommy almost relentlessly hit on Vivian any time Carol wasn’t around that much creepier. Of all the boys in Hawkins to be interested in her, why did it have to be Tommy H?

Tommy moved closer to her and perched on the arm of the couch. “Hey, how come you don’t have a date to the dance?” usually Vivian would have some sort of biting remark. Sarah was always telling her that she was much too comfortable being sarcastic. But with Tommy she kept the comments she wanted to say to herself and kept things as short as possible. He wasn’t entirely bright enough to understand sarcasm. Or much of anything. Usually he would just seem to think she was flirting back and it would be impossible to escape the conversation. 

Plus, she didn’t really want to open the can of worms that was wondering why no one had asked her to the dance. “...I just didn’t want to go with anyone, I guess.” she finally said with a shrug. 

“Oh...well, that’s okay. You wanna be my date? I’m sure I can juggle you and Carol.” that grin was back. Vivian didn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. 

“How about you ask Carol how she’d feel about that arrangement?” Vivian asked, fluttering her eyelashes with a sweet smile. Tommy’s grin fell. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by Vivian’s grandmother walking in. Tommy nearly jumped up from the arm of the couch. 

“Would you like something to drink, Thomas? Are you hungry? I made meatloaf. The girls weren’t really hungry so there’s plenty left over.” they were plenty hungry. The meatloaf was just awful. Vivian almost hoped Tommy would accept her offer. 

Tommy only smiled what Vivian assumed he thought was a charming smile. “Oh, no thank you ma’am. My mom made a pretty big dinner so I don’t really have room for meatloaf.” he patted his stomach.

“Consider yourself lucky. A dog wouldn’t even eat that meatloaf.” it was Carol. She came practically stomping down the stairs in her strapless, light pink chiffon dress that she had begged and pleaded with their dad to buy her for the dance. Vivian usually felt self conscious next to her older sister, but she felt even more so now. Carol looked like she had just stepped out of an issue of Cosmo. 

Their grandmother frowned over at Carol. “Now, young lad-”

Carol rolled her eyes and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “We gotta run, grandma. Don’t wait up. Mom says curfew’s at one,” that definitely wasn’t true. The girls had a firm eleven o’clock curfew on weekends. But Vivian kept her mouth shut. Carol grabbed Tommy by the arm and pulled him towards the front door, Vivian close behind. Their grandma followed with a reminder of the lovely talk they’d had at dinner. The three teens practically bolted for Tommy’s car. 

“God, she never shuts up!” Carol groaned. “No sex before marriage!” she said in a crude, mocking voice. “Jesus doesn’t like tramps! Please.”

“Don’t forget that story about her friend Judy and how her grandson died from drinking a beer at a highschool party.” Vivian laughed as she slid into the backseat. Carol threw her head back and let out a cackle like laugh.

“That’s right! He’s not even dead! He got shit faced on tequila shots and got a dui and his dad sent him to boot camp!” if it was one thing Vivian could bond with her sister over, it was what an absolute fruit loop their grandmother was. 

Tommy was grinning again. “You know, she’s a little too late with that no sex before marriage thing, Car.” Vivian’s nose scrunched up in disgust. So not what she wanted to hear. Ever.

Carol let out a loud snort and shoved Tommy’s shoulder. “Shut up, ass.” and just like that, the sisterly bonding was over. For the rest of the ride to school Vivian ceased to exist to Carol and Tommy. Which was pretty alright with her. Especially when it came to Tommy.

The Hawkins High gym had been transformed into an under the sea fantasy. Well, as much of a fantasy as the dance committee had been able to pull off. Blue lights hung high above the students dancing and mingling, giving them all an odd and almost otherworldly pallor. Silver streamers hung from the doorways, food tables and sporadically from the gym’s ceiling mimic what Vivian assumed to be seaweed. In one corner there were large cut outs of crudely drawn sea creatures along with a mermaid and merman as a photo op for the students and their dates. 

Carol quickly dragged Tommy over to have their photo taken. “Oh, see ya later, sis! Have fun!” Vivian muttered to herself as she made her way over to the bleachers where Robin was sitting and looking bored. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.” she said with a heavy sigh as she sat next to her best friend. 

“Likewise,” Robin said with a grin. “I dig the dress. It’s gonna be hard for Billy to ignore you in that.” 

Vivian rolled her eyes and waved a hand at Robin. “This so isn’t for him. I didn’t have anything to wear so I had to borrow it from Sarah. Tommy hit on me while we were waiting for Carol to finish getting ready,” she pulled a face. Robin and Vivian both looked over to where Tommy and Carol were posing in front of the photographer for their dance photo. They both groaned. Vivian scanned the room quickly. “...Have you seen Billy?” she asked casually. 

Robin smiled and shook her head. “Not yet. I’m imagining Cheryl’s gonna turn up fashionably late. You want some punch or something?” Vivian only shrugged. Robin patted her knee and stood up. “Be right back.” Vivian watched Robin head over to the snack table and let out a sigh. This was probably gonna be a long night. And adding the fact that she was going to wait around for Billy like a little puppy definitely wasn’t going to help.

“There she is!” Vivian groaned. Her night just kept getting worse. Tommy had spotted her. He was dancing along to the music and headed her way. Carol wasn’t anywhere in sight. “Been lookin’ for ya, Viv!” he took her by the hands and pulled her to her feet. Vivian watched in near horror as Tommy continued to dance in front of her. 

“Uh, Tommy? Where’s Carol?” 

He didn’t stop dancing. “She went to the bathroom with Cheryl. Come on, girl! Don’t leave me hangin’! I love this song!” he took Vivian’s hands in his again and tried to get her to dance with him. Vivian harshly pulled away from him. She didn’t really know who she was more embarrassed for. Tommy and his awful dancing, herself for having to be seen with him, or Carol for thinking Tommy wasn’t an absolute creep. 

“You know, I’m not really much of a dancer. Maybe you should just go find Billy or something,” she took a step back from Tommy hoping it would keep him from grabbing her again. “Have you seen him anywhere?” 

Tommy was still dancing. “I think he’s outside having a smoke,” Vivian thought that she hid her disappointment, but apparently not as well as she thought. Tommy grinned at her. “You sweet on Hargrove, Viv?”

Vivian felt her cheeks burn. “Of course not. I didn’t even...I gotta go find Robin.” she rushed around Tommy and disappeared into the sea of dancing teenagers.

A few moments later Billy waltzed back into the gym. He shoved the sleeves of the black blazer he was wearing up his arms and gave an unimpressed look around the gym. Susan had given him the blazer right before he left to pick up Cheryl. It was his dad’s. “It’s a dance, Billy! You have to look your best for your date!” she had said, running into her bedroom to fetch the coat. 

Cheryl hadn’t really cared about what he was wearing. She spent the entire drive fixing her makeup and bitching about how her parents refused to buy her the dress she had wanted because she had failed two classes that past semester. As soon as they arrived at the dance Cheryl and made a beeline for Carol and the two had run off the the bathroom. Billy headed back outside for a smoke and to sneak a few swigs from the flask he’d stashed on the inner pocket of his blazer. 

When he’d made his way back inside Tommy was dancing over by the bleachers. Alone. Billy rolled his eyes and walked over to him. “They’re still not back yet?” he asked, scanning the crowd for Cheryl and Carol. 

“Nah, man. I bet they’ll be gone for awhile,” Tommy finally stopped dancing and looked at his friend with a mischievous grin. “You’ll never guess who was asking about you, dude.”

Billy let out a heavy sigh and shoved his hands into his pockets, his fingers playing mindlessly with his lighter. “I give up.” he said with a bored tone. 

Tommy threw an arm around Billy’s shoulders and turned him towards the snack table. Vivian was standing by the punch bowl with Robin. She looked good. Amazing, actually. But with the way she kept pulling at the bottom of her dress and shifting uncomfortably showed that she wasn’t entirely comfortable with all the new attention she was getting. Billy watched on with an amused look. 

“You think you can maybe talk to her? Get me an in?” Billy frowned and looked over at Tommy.

“...The hell are you talking about? Aren’t you with Carol?”

Tommy looked around to make sure that no one was listening. He grinned wickedly. “I don’t see her around, do you?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Christ, Tommy. You’re even dumber than I thought.”

Tommy frowned. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You can’t try to fuck your girl’s sister. They tell each other about that kinda shit. You need to get some tact, man,” not to mention he was fairly certain that he would see pigs flying before Vivian ever agreed to willingly sit in a room alone with Tommy. There was a moment when Vivian turned and met eyes with Billy from across the gym. Her lips twitched. Like she wasn’t sure whether to smile at him or not. The corner of Billy’s mouth turned upwards in a smirk, and Vivian’s cheeks turned a deep pink before she turned back to Robin. “...I’ll see you later, Tommy.” he patted his friend on the shoulder and started off towards Vivian.

“There you are!” Billy stifled the groan he wanted to let out at the sound of Cheryl’s voice. He stopped in his tracks, turning to face his date with a thin smile. “I was worried someone might’ve stolen you away,” she said with an overly sweet smile. Cheryl straightened out the front of Billy’s blazer before she placed her hands on his chest. “Carol told me that Tommy’s having a party at his place after and I said we would go.”

Billy could think of about 900 completely awful things that he would rather do than go to a party with his friends. “I’m not really in a partying mood. I gotta get to the pool early tomorrow.” he lied. 

If looks could kill, Billy would be dead. Cheryl’s hot pink nails dig ever so slightly into his chest as she glared up at him. “Well, I already told Carol that we would go. And it’ll look bad if I go by myself. So you’re going to come with me, and you’re going to have a good time.” she said through her teeth. 

A mistake that Billy had made early on with Cheryl was deciding not to argue with her. It gave her the sense that he was a pushover that would do whatever she wanted. That she had power in the relationship. Usually it was just easier to do what Cheryl said. No matter how much he hated it. It was never worth all the dirty looks and all of her bitching. “...Whatever, Cheryl. We’ll stop by for a few minutes. I’m gonna go have another smoke.” 

He didn’t care that he was ditching her. He didn’t care about the way she was calling after him in that fake, sweet voice that she used in front of other people. He wanted to get away from her. Away from this stupid under the sea dance. 

He shoved the gym door opened and collided hard with someone on the other side. “Christ, watch where you’re goi- oh, Billy!” it was Vivian. The door shut loudly behind him, and the two were left out in the quiet hallway. 

“Sorry…” he muttered, fidgeting with the lighter in his pocket. Vivian waved him off and adjusted her dress. He couldn’t help but give her another once over. “I like the dress.”

Vivian’s hands went still as she looked up at him. She blinked a few times. “...What?”

Billy chuckled and motioned to her outfit. “The dress. It looks good on you. You get it for your birthday?” 

He expected her to blush again. To freeze up like she usually did when he complimented her. Instead she rolled her eyes dramatically and scoffed. “No. I didn’t get shit for my birthday. My family forgot all about it.” there was a shocked look on her face almost like she had said something she shouldn’t have.

Billy raised an eyebrow. “They forgot? How’s that possible?”

“My sister’s stupid wedding. I keep telling myself that I’m over it, but every time I bring it up I get pissed off all over again,” she shook her head. “It’s not really a big deal. Anyways, having fun with Cheryl?” there was a bit of bite in her voice that made Billy smirk down at her. 

“Tons,” he said cooly. “She told me Tommy’s having a party at his place after the dance. You should come. Bring Robin. We’ll call it your birthday party.” that shy look of hers was back. Billy couldn’t help but smile. 

“I don’t know…” she scrunched up her nose. “I’ve kinda had my fill of Tommy for one night. Robin and I were gonna head to the movies and see Red Dawn,” Billy honestly wished he could join them. “Maybe next time.” she offered. He knew that was a lie. 

Billy smiled slowly at her and nodded. “Yeah, maybe next time. Well, I guess I’ll see you around Birthday Girl.” Vivian tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as her cheeks turned pink again. Her lips twitched again, like she was fighting to keep her cool. She mumbled a “bye” before rushing back into the gym. He knew that Vivian thought he couldn’t see her now. He placed a cigarette between his lips as he watched her hurry across the dance floor towards Robin. 

She was talking to her friend animatedly and pointing back to the gym doors. Robin looked on with an amused smile at her friends ranting. Billy let out a short laugh and lit his cigarette. He didn’t really know why he was so interested in Vivian. Aside from her obvious good looks, Vivian was a good girl. Billy had never really liked good girls. Maybe Cheryl had made him realize it was time to try something new. 

He decided once he was sure that she was home from the movies that he would call her and ask her out. What could go wrong? 

[onemustalwaysbecarefulofbooks]

ACOFAS Ramblings

This is gonna be super long-winded. I have a LOT to say. Buckle in, folk 

I have so many feelings on this novella I really don’t even know where to begin. I was really really excited for it and since actually reading it am now left kind of floundering in a weird range of emotions that cover every side of the spectrum. I’ll say it now: I had a lot of issues with it. This “review” (if it can even be called a review) is probably going to come across as really negative and for that I apologize. I don’t LIKE shitting all over books. I am 100% NOT on board with hating, over-analyzing, and criticizing an author/series just because it’s popular. But if there’s one thing I can say about Sarah J. Maas, it’s that she has the surefire knack for turning me from a level-headed logical adult reader to a rabid crazed homicidal lunatic. It happens every time and yet every time I’m still taken by surprise by it each time.

Those of you who follow me or have read any of my reviews before know that I have some pretty mixed feelings on the ACOTAR series. I was one of the (apparently very few) people who loved ACOTAR. I eagerly awaited the second book, only to be left completely shocked and reeling after seeing the direction the story had so abruptly taken. Most of this stems from the way Tamlin’s character was handled and treated demonized by the fandom. I have a whole long rant that goes in-depth about all that. I’ll leave it here. If you don’t feel like going into all of it, I’ll do my best to sum it up: The overwhelming beating-over-the-head message we had forced onto us every 5 seconds that certain characters were perfect and others were abusive neanderthals was obnoxious and unfair to me. I have SO many feelings on that, I’m not going to get into all of it here. If you want to know, read that post ^. But anyway, this colored my judgement on the series as a whole for a long time. Once I had gotten over the initial shock, I went back and re-read both ACOTAR and ACOMAF leading up the release of ACOWAR. I was able to enjoy them 1000x more and even though I didn’t agree with a lot of the things that were going down, I had accepted that they were happening and was holding out for redemption.

At the same time, though. . .I could totally understand how everyone went so bananas over the series??? Whenever I hear it described as crack, I have to pause and reflect on just how accurate that statement really is. It IS an amazing story, Sarah DOES write amazing characters, so many of the things that happen reduce me to a hysterical emotional mess. And yet, if I really stop and think about it, it’s like Ok wait. . .I actually have some major problems with all of this, like some seriously problematic things are at play here and yet I can’t stop reading and being obsessed with it?? Literal book crack, I tell you.

So once I had made peace the best I could with the series up to that point, I was READY for ACOWAR. I was pumped. And I ended up loving it!!! I was so pleasantly surprised on how things went down. Were there things that I still disagreed with, and wished I could shout from the rooftop to the general fandom? You bet there were. But overall I was so impressed with most of the characters and so much enjoying the direction their stories were going that I found it to be a truly satisfying ending that left me eagerly looking forward to what was to come. I was PUMPED for this novella.

And. . .

I had some issues. You bet I did. I understand this is just a novella and not meant to rival what a full blown novel is like in any way. It’s supposed to be a bridge, in a sense, for further growth for the characters. But this just seemed like a step BACK for so many of them that it made me frustrated.

We may as well just start with the Tamlin thing and get it out of the way, because everyone knows I’m going to rant about it. I am filled with so much rage on behalf of his character, it’s not even funny anymore. I am APPALLED at the way he is treated by everyone, Rhys in particular. All of these people saying he’s “not worthy” of forgiveness. . .I can’t. I literally can’t. The hypocrisy here is so strong I can smell it from another dimension. When I think of how many people in Sarah’s books the narrative has set up for us to forgive, despite the ACTUAL horrible things they’ve done (Jurian--seduced Amarantha’s sister into giving up information, then slowly brutally tortured her to death, the Archeron father--sat by knowing that despite being handicapped, he was leading his children down the path of starvation and death by doing nothing whatsoever to help their situation, Manon--spent decades and decades brutally murdering people (I don’t care if you make the argument that this is her grandmother’s fault for ruining her--I fucking love Manon, she’s one of my favorite characters, but it doesn’t change the fact that she has a lot of blood on her hands, and still did all she’s accused of), even fucking ERIS now apparently has some mysterious redemption-maybe thing going on) I just want to scream. What unforgivable crime is Tamlin guilty of??????? Misunderstanding Feyre? Being delusional? Being immature and talking inappropriate shit in front of other people??

Tamlin NEVER tells Feyre she is “not allowed” or “not worthy” to be a High Lady. NO ONE in Prythian has High Ladies! Feyre tells him she DOESN’T want to be one and he’s like “Don’t worry babe, that’s cool, they’re not really a thing anyway”. Unimpressive? No doubt. But if you’re going to shit all over Tamlin for this reason, then you’d better start doing it to every other High Lord too, given how utterly shocked they are when Feyre and Rhys show up to that High Lords meeting in ACOWAR and announce that Feyre is High Lady. You’d better start saying it about Kallias too, who clearly respects, trusts, and adores Viviane, but has not made her his High Lady.  It is literally treated as something Rhys and Feyre made up.

Tamlin has to watch Rhys basically strip Feyre, paint her body with all kinds of weird tattoo art, and drug her into oblivion night after night Under the Mountain. Don’t tell me none of you were a little skeeved by this in ACOTAR. Don’t tell me there wasn’t ONE of you that wasn’t like Wow, this guy is a fucking creep. I’m NOT saying Rhys IS a fucking creep, he is far from it.  I’m merely saying it’s not far-fetched at all for someone to think that about him after witnessing that, BECAUSE HE IS ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CREEP. Yes yes yes, we all now understand WHY he did it but guess what?? Tamlin doesn’t! BECAUSE NO ONE FUCKING COMMUNICATES WITH EACH OTHER IN THIS SERIES!!!! (Oh believe me, this is something I’m about to make a fucking point of in a little bit). Tamlin thinks Amarantha’s boyfriend, the guy who treats Feyre this way, has tricked her into residing in his court that no one has ever seen or been to, but Amarantha supposedly modeled her own after. DELUSIONAL DELUSIONAL DELUSIONAL!!! The fact that he couldn’t see how badly Feyre was suffering shows how poorly suited they are for each other. On top of that, we’re told in ACOWAR that finding a mate in the romantic sense that Feyre and Rhys have is rare. Mating bonds can be as simple as the matching of the most productive DNA. Tamlin AND Rhys’s parents were mates who were “wrong” for each other. Rhys gives a whole speech to Feyre about how sometimes the males who were mated to a female feel that they are “entitled” to her and will fight the male she has chosen for herself to the death. While I personally believe this was only added in to bring about drama to the Elain-Lucien-Azriel mess, if it’s something we’re actually sticking to, it certainly sheds a new light on the way Tamlin reacted in Hybern at the end of ACOMAF, where he was snarling at Rhys that he didn’t give a shit if he was Feyre’s mate. Again: DE. LOU. SION. AL. But being a delusional dumb ass is NOT the same thing as being a controlling entitled psychopath. Tamlin, the dumb motherfucker that he is, has no idea that Rhys has even been good to Feyre in any way. Feyre does not say, “We’re in love” and he responds with “I don’t give a shit”. THAT would be as bad as everyone is acting like it is.

The two things I absolutely will give the Tamlin criticizers are: him finally locking her up in the manor and his appalling and completely out-of-line behavior at the High Lords meeting. There’s no good explanation for him shutting her in the manor, other than the fact that he let his own PTSD, fear, and rage get the best of him and control his actions. It was WRONG and he 100% owes her an actual apology for it. I completely understand Feyre harboring bad feelings towards him for that. And then the High Lords meeting. . .come on, dude. It was embarrassing af. I get that he was hurt and pissed and embarrassed, but coming in there and trash talking them, bringing up their former sex life. . .no. It was way out-of-line.

The rest of it, though. . .Rhys keeps harping on and on about how badly Tamlin “hurt” Feyre. I’m sure I’ll get enough hate mail to wrap around the circumference of the world for this, but. . .how? What did he REALLY do that is so unworthy of forgiveness? Wanted her to wear fancy dresses and be an accessory as he ruled the Spring Court? Have his babies? Buried his head in the sand and wasn’t able to cope with her PTSD because he was knee-deep in issues of his own? Locking her up in the manor, fine. I’m 100% with you on that. But like. . .I’d just like to say. In ACOTAR, Rhys deliberately pushed on a bone protruding from Feyre’s arm to get her to cooperate him and agree to agreeing with him. Not only is he completely forgiven for it, it is never brought up again once in the entire series. If that’s going to be brushed aside and ignored, we REALLY can’t forgive Tamlin for making a really poor decision? No one is denying what he did was wrong, least of all me. But my God. You can’t even say that he sided with Hybern and fucked everyone over to get her back. He made it very clear in ACOWAR that he did this purely to gain assistance in (what he believed was) rescuing her, and then planned to take Hybern down from the inside. Do not tell me Rhys wouldn't do the same thing for her. Rhys DID do the same thing for his family and the entire city of Velaris. Rhys did horrible things to protect the people he loved. Imagine how Clare Beddor’s family would feel towards him, and what he subjected her to in the name of protecting Feyre. I know Rhys took all her pain away from her in the moment of the actual torturing but in the case of the point I’m making, that is so not the point. She was still kidnapped from her home and undoubtedly terrified beyond belief. She was still degraded and humiliated in front of strangers who meant her harm. Her family still lost a daughter. Do I blame Rhys for it? No. He took a really awful situation and did what he could to do the best for his loved ones. The world isn’t black and white, sometimes people are forced to choose between a bad choice or a even worse choice. He gets the benefit of the doubt, but Tamlin never does. Anyway, all of these things. . .wanting to mold her into something she’s not, consuming himself in his own head rather than making an effort to dig deeper with her, to me just sounds like two people who aren’t well suited for each other. I’d really like to think that had these people communicated like actual adults, it all most likely could have been peacefully resolved without all this bullshit and drama. Feyre and Tamlin DESPERATELY need to sit down and have an actual conversation, WITHOUT RHYS PRESENT.

So yeah. To see JURIAN, who literally intentionally seduced a woman and then brutally tortured her to death, now apparently be Not So Bad After All and hanging out in the Lucien friend gang but see Tamlin being scorned and mocked and completely dismissed for any sort of redemption is blood boiling to me.

“But--peace. We had peace within our sights.

I could rip him apart after we attained it.”

“Low. It was a low blow. I  had everything--everything I’d wished for, dreamed of, begged the stars to give me.

He had nothing. Had been given everything and squandered it. He didn’t deserve my pity, my sympathy.

No, Tamlin deserved what he’d brought on himself, this husk of a life.

He deserved every empty room, every snarl of thorns, every meal he had to hunt for himself.”

“You deserve everything that has befallen you. You deserve this pathetic, empty house, your ravaged lands. I don’t care if you offered that kernel of life to save me, I don’t care if you still love my mate. I don’t care that you saved her from Hybern, or a thousand enemies before that. I hope you live the rest of your miserable life alone here. It’s a far more satisfying end than slaughtering you.”

Congratulations, Rhys. All this I hear about the Honorable, Self-Sacrificing, Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s history, and you’ve managed to make me see you as nothing more than a Grade A Dick.

HOW you can bring yourself to be that cruel to someone that is in the level of disparity that he is in is beyond me. Unless he’s a straight up rapist or murderer, I do not believe he deserves this one bit. Feyre “survived” him. . .I have never heard a more overdramatic statement in my life. Feyre survived her severe PTSD. Tamlin was not the cause of this. He did nothing to help it, which is a pretty dick move and definitely not the way you want to treat someone you claim to love, but he is not where her issues were stemming from. Tamlin was severely misguided but his intentions were good. I know no one on the face of the Earth wants to hear that, but is the literal truth. He owes some major apologies and could benefit from some serious self-reflection but Rhys is treating him like he shackled Feyre in a dungeon and beat and raped her repeatedly.

Basically, Rhysand needs to Chill The Fuck Out about many things, and I’ll touch more on this later.

What’s very conflicting for me right now is the direction Sarah’s trying to lead us in. A big thing that I’ve been an advocate of lately is that a character’s thoughts, opinions, and beliefs do NOT mean the author holds those same thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. When people criticize a character’s actions for being problematic, I try to consider the fact that maybe it was intentional of the author to write them this way. Maybe they’re not trying to make them this pillar of morality, maybe they’re just being a character that, at the end of the day, is just that: a character. A form of entertainment. The confliction I’m here is that the narrative has been incredibly biased towards Rhys and Feyre since the first page of ACOMAF. Pretty much every single thing up to this point has been presented as whatever they think, say, and do is what everyone is cheering for. So like. . .does Sarah herself actually feel this way about Tamlin? Or is she just giving us what she truly thinks Rhys and Feyre are feeling about Tamlin at this point, whether that’s right or wrong? I’d truly like to hope for the latter but I honestly can’t tell. Some people are theorizing that this was intentional, to make Rhys seem not quite so saintly and perfect. . .to give him true flaws and an ugly side, to make him more realistic. But I can’t even really find satisfaction in this until I know for sure. All I know is, we haven’t seen the last of him yet. I still think that random girl they rescued from the Hybern camp with Elain is his mate, Briar. (“I spoke to Vairan, Prince of Adriata,” I said, lingering on the other side of the table,the rack of antlers like a briar of thorns between us). Briar Rose, Court of Thorns and Roses, Sleeping Beauty, blah blah blah. I’d bet money on it. At this point, I’d need to see a hardcore turn around in his character and the way he’s treated by the fandom to be satisfied.

Another character I’m pretty appalled at the treatment of is Lucien. Feyre’s attitude towards him in this really pissed me off.

“Interesting.”

His golden eye whirred. “What is.” (OMFG STOP WITH THE QUESTIONS WITHOUT QUESTION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Not feeling very festive at all, I said sharply, “That you now feel more comfortable with humans than with High Fae. If you ask me--”

“I’m not.”

“It seems like you’ve decided to fall in with two people without homes of their own as well.”

Yo Feyre, who had a hand in making it so that he has no home?! Honestly, keep your preachy shit to yourself.

“And what, exactly, does this Band of Exiles plan to do? Host events? Organize party-planning committees?”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go. You ruined any chance I have of going back to Spring. Not to Tamlin, but to the court beyond his house. Everyone either still believes the lies you spun or they believe me complicit in your deceit. And as for here. . .I can’t stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes. I can’t stand to be in this court and have your mate pay for the very clothes on my back.”

Feyre acknowledges that she holds part of the blame for the position he’s in, for the rift she helped create between him and Tamlin. But she “didn’t feel quite guilty enough to warrant apologizing for it. Not yet. Possibly not ever”. Like for God’s sake, is there no end in punishment for some of these people????? It’s like the narrative has decided that there are just some people who’s pain and problems don’t matter (and apparently Jurian, the torturer and murderer, is not one of them). Lucien was a doormat to Tamlin and didn’t step up to help Feyre when she needed someone. But Feyre’s Holier Than Thou attitude towards him is getting old. Lucien has, in my eyes, more than made up for anything Feyre could still be upset about towards him. In some ways, you could argue that he was a victim of Tamlin just as much as she was! He clearly felt super indebted to him because of how Tamlin took him in after he had been exiled from the Autumn Court. He got his eyeball clawed out delivering a message for Tamlin. He was held Under the Mountain and was inches away from being brutally killed (remember Feyre’s second task?). He endured Calanmai in Tamlin’s place. And then he finally decides what he believes in and stands for, and leaves the Spring Court with her. He defends her against his brothers and then finds himself in a foreign court among people he always heard were violent and untrustworthy. He’s viewed as an outsider but he does his best to do what he can for the cause against Hybern. He has no true home, no family that cares about him, no true place in the world. He’s clearly struggling with the mating bond, but respects Elain, gives her her space, and doesn’t try and force himself on her. Not to mention he was the only one who was dropping truth bombs in this entire damned thing: “Your mate should have known better than to kick a downed male”.

And as far as the whole mating bond thing with them even goes. . .aadskflsdjfsjkdslk. If I had one ounce of sense, I would FORCE myself to not care about the situation. I would make myself believe I didn’t have any sort of preference, and that Elain could end up with either him or Azriel and it wouldn't make a difference for me. I know how SJM operates and it has come back to bite me in the ass one too many times. But of course, being a complete masochist, I have set myself up for stress and strife as an Elucien shipper. Not exactly warm and fuzzy feels from these two in this installment. I’m fine though, I’m not mad. It’s true, Elain doesn’t really owe him anything just because they’re mates (perhaps this was the mindset Tamlin had when he first heard Rhys was Feyre’s mate when he believed Feyre still loved him??? Ever occur to anyone???) and if she doesn’t want to be with him that way, of course she doesn’t have to. She’s cold to him, but I think that’s because he’s an obvious physical reminder of the permanence of her Fae life, which she’s obviously still struggling with. She clearly has some issues of her own to work through still, and this isn’t what she needs right now. I’m sure we’ll be dragged through all kinds of shit before we can come to a resolution.

Another HUGE topic of debate right now is Nesta. It’s what I’ve seen people talking about the most. Again, my emotions are a giant clusterfuck regarding this right now because I am so conflicted. This is going to sound ridiculous, but I pretty much agree with everything everyone’s saying on both sides of the argument apart from one thing. I completely disagree with those who are saying that her behavior right now is out of character. This is what I was fully expecting after ACOMAF. I was fully prepared to see her in this state in ACOWAR. Given the deep inner rage we often her about her having, the circumstances under which she became Fae, and all the other shit going on, I figured we had a long and ugly road ahead of us in ACOWAR. When we finally saw her again and found that she wasn’t in this state, I was pleasantly surprised. She clearly had some issues (the whole bathtub thing was heartbreaking) but overall, she was a much more pleasant character to read about than she ever had been before. She was treating Feyre better, she was taking action toward solving problems that affected her, rather than making others do it out of spite, she had some nice moments with Cassian. I found myself warming to her a lot. This one started and it was just immediately a night and day difference. Initially, my question was. . .why now? I didn’t mean that to sound sarcastic or shity, I was really wondering. Now I’m thinking the delay of the onslaught of all this is due to a few things: the fact that she really was this messed up over the whole thing the whole time but was just powering through it because Elain was suffering, the violence she was exposed to in the war, and the complicated feelings she now probably has towards their father.

I have super complicated feelings about Nesta, I always have. I know a lot of people really love her as a character but I find myself hovering somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. Point blank: She was awful to Feyre in their human life. And I’m not even talking about “letting” Feyre take on all the responsibility of providing for all of them and do all the hunting. That’s something that really gets me irritated. Just because Nesta was 3 years older than Feyre does not mean that she should be held to the same standard that Feyre’s parent should have been. It was that FATHER’S job to provide for his CHILDREN. Nesta was just as much a victim in that situation as Feyre was. They were all still children when they were going through that shit. . .why should Nesta be expected to figure out how to take care of all of them any more than Feyre had to? It was heartbreaking that that was placed on her shoulders. I don’t blame Nesta for that. What I DO blame her for is how utterly cruel and awful she treated Feyre on a day-to-day basis. When I went back and re-read ACOTAR last year, I was SHOCKED at how blatantly terrible she is to Feyre, I had forgotten how bad it was. For the first part of that book, every thought of self-doubt, unworthiness, or self-hatred Feyre thinks to herself is spoken internally in Nesta’s voice. I’m not exaggerating when I say that--she literally says she hears it in Nesta’s voice. She’s just honestly horrendous overall.

Nesta rose and declared: “I need a new pair of boots.”

I kept quiet, knowing better than to get in the middle of one of their arguments, but I glanced at Nesta’s stil-shiny pair by the door. Beside hers, my too-small boots were falling apart at the seams, held together by only fraying laces.

I looked up in time to see Nesta crinkle her nose with a sniff. She picked at my cloak. “You stink like a pig covered in it’s own filth. Can’t you at least try to pretend that you’re not an ignorant peasant?

I didn’t let the sting and ache show. I’d been too young to learn more than the basics of manners and reading and writing when our family had fallen into misfortune and she’d never let me forget it.

Nesta’s nostrils delicately flared. “There’s nothing you can do. Clare Beddor told me this afternoon that Tomas is going to propose to me any day now. And then I’ll never have to eat these scraps again.” She added with a small smile, “At least I don’t have to resort to rutting in the hay with Isaac Hale like an animal.”

“What do you know?” Nesta breathed. “You’re just a half-wild beast with the nerve to bark orders at all hours of the day and night. Keep it up and someday--someday, Feyre, you’ll have no one left to remember you or to care that you ever existed.”

I don’t really care if you have rage issues or whatever. I don’t really care if you have all this pent up aggression towards your father and are embarrassed that you suck at hunting and can’t provide for the family the way Feyre can. You can still recognize that she has a talent you don’t, and be pleasant, kind, and decent to her instead of looking for ways to unnecessarily insult her. That’s where my issue stems from. The thing I keep seeing brought up (lbr, by Rhys) is that she let her 14 year old sister go off in the woods and didn’t do anything to help. But I’m just like Uhhh forget all that, just tell me why you gotta be such an awful bitch to Feyre?! Now really, I think I know why. Sarah has said herself in interviews that Nesta and Elain were two characters that started out as really one dimensional and surprised her with the direction their characters ended up going and the huge part they ended up playing. I honestly think that at the time she published ACOTAR, she hadn’t made these decisions yet. Nesta is just too awful. Yeah she goes and tries to hunt her down after Tamlin takes her, but she’s so wretched in the beginning that I have to think this was when SJM was simply trying to portray the two wicked sisters thing (which was a thing in the original Beauty and the Beast fairytale).

So yeah, I really REALLY don’t like the person she was at the beginning of the series. All throughout ACOMAF and ACOWAR I would find myself hopping on board the Nesta Is Awesome Train and then come to a screeching halt when I remembered this. She feels so deeply. . .so she tears Feyre down and makes her feel like shit? And yet I’m still pretty invested in her as a character? I don’t even know. I liked the direction her character seemed to be heading, especially after ACOWAR so I was on board for a healing/redemption thing.

Now, did I like where her character’s story was going in this one? Fuck no!!!! Of course not!! Who would?! It was downright unpleasant and draining to read about. Her behavior was destructive and tedious and painful to witness. Maybe I was just getting frustrated because I’m NOT a fan of over-drawn out angst. Like. . .we all know she’s gonna end up a scarred but healed, stronger person like Feyre and live Happily Ever After with Cassian. @thoughtsontomes puts it best in her ACOWAR review video when she says, All we’re hearing is “I don’t care! I don’t care! I don’t care about any of you!!!! I hate you all, F*** YOU!” when it’s like, “. . . .you don’t though. Like stop. No one really believes you. So just . . stop”. Everyone’s flipping out about the apparent slut-shaming, but that’s not how I saw it. What she’s doing isn’t healthy, in any sense of the word. I saw an objection more towards her motives than the number of men she was entertaining. Sleeping with that high number of strangers when you’re in such a bad place like that has the potential to cause even more lasting damage. So I’m not surprised most of them were like “Um wtf are you doing??”.

The fact that she’s spending through Feyre and Rhys’s money without doing a single thing to earn it was also gross. When she was like “I’ll come to your Solstice thing if you give me three months of rent” I was just like

And then Oh yeah HAHA I’m so dumping all these ridiculous bar charges onto Feyre cuz she won’t ever NOT pay it HAHAHAHA 

Look. I get it. She’s suffering. She’s going through some MAJOR shit right now, rivaling (if not worse than) what Feyre went through after ACOTAR. She’s not going through it the same way Feyre did, not at all. Feyre’s manifested itself in hopelessness and despondence, which made it easy for our hearts to bleed for her. Nesta’s is all manifesting in seriously self-destructive behavior. She was unpleasant before she started going through this, she’s unbearable now. This is raw and realistic, but it’s not fun to read about. So I get what people are saying who are feeling annoyed by her story arc.

On the other hand, as I said, SHE IS SUFFERING. Like A LOT. So while I can find myself getting frustrated by having to watch her go through this, a part of me wonders how everyone in the Inner Circle can just dismiss the deep trauma she’s clearly going through. I COMPLETELY agree with everyone who is saying that the way Nesta is being treated by all of them is essentially the same way Tamlin was treating Feyre, which the fandom jumped all over. What did everyone say Tamlin did? Witnessed someone he supposedly cared about wither away into nothingness and didn’t do much of anything about it? Yep, check. At least with him I could say that he was dealing with his own form of PTSD at the time and the relationship fell apart because they couldn’t give each other what the other needed. With these guys it’s like. . .you completely villainize Tamlin for doing this to Feyre, but yet you turn right around and do it to someone else, because her trauma is expressed in a different and more hostile, destructive way than Feyre’s was. And what is Rhys’s justification for that? He can’t forgive Nesta for how she treated Feyre.

One of the main criticisms I see against Tamlin is that he smothered Feyre. He never gave her room to breathe, to be her own person and do her own thing. The only thing that mattered was preserving her and her precious delicate self. I’m just gonna call it like I see it, I’m seeing pretty close to the same thing with Rhys now.

He needs to Chill The Fuck Out. People are going to hurt Feyre. People are going to insult Feyre. People are going to do things that inconvenience, put-out, and piss off Feyre. He has to learn to find some chill with this.

The whole “Elain is Elain” justification for why he has no issues with her but does with Nesta is the most BULLSHIT thing I have EVER read. Um I’m sorry, what?????? Elain is Elain (whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean--if I were Elain I’d actually feel pretty insulted by that. I did the same as Nesta but apparently I’m some ditzy simpleton who didn’t realize what she was doing and shouldn’t be held to the same standards as everyone else?) but Nesta has an Illyrian heart so she should have known better?!? Like I don’t even know where to begin. Elain did the exact same thing you are claiming you’re so upset with Nesta with: let Feyre go off and do the hunting on her own at a young age. Did Elain do a single thing to stop this? No. They literally did the exact same thing. So let’s be real here, Rhys. What you meant by this was: Elain is nice to Feyre and Nesta wasn’t/isn’t. That’s the issue you have here. It’s not that bullshit about Nesta having an Illyrian heart or whatever, it’s that she’s mean to your precious Feyre and you can’t tolerate that. Don’t believe me? He literally says it in the book:

“You can still barely talk to Nesta,” I said. “Yet Elain you can talk to nicely.”

“Elain is Elain.”

“If you blame one, you have to blame the other.”

“No, I don’t. Elain is Elain,” he repeated. “Nesta is. . .she’s Illyrian. I mean that as a compliment, but she’s an Illyrian at heart. So there is no excuse for her behavior.”

“She more than made up for it last summer, Rhys.”

“I cannot forgive anyone who made you suffer.”

Like if he’s really mad at her for being a bitch to Feyre, say you’re mad at her for being a bitch to Feyre!!!!!!! But again, it’s this whole “Should that be my Solstice gift to you? Forgiving Nesta for letting her fourteen year-old sister go into into those woods?” instead of “I really have issues with how ungrateful she acted towards you and how nasty she was in general”. Like, come on, Rhys. I also think Nesta was downright horrible and awful to Feyre in their human life, but like Feyre says, LET’S MOVE ON. She’s clearly let go of it after seeing Nesta working towards making up for it. You can not walk around snarling and hissing and threatening disembowelment to anyone who hurts Feyre’s feelings. You can’t forgive anyone who made her suffer? You’re in for a very long (immortally long) life of negativity and hostility then. Put your Big Boy Pants on and let Feyre handle the situation between her and her sister. If she’s cool with it, be cool with it. Think whatever you want to yourself, vent about it to other people, but quit being this way to Nesta in front of Feyre.

The whole sneak peek at the end was cringey between the two of them also. I can handle Rhys interrupting her and snarling at her to sit down. It wasn’t sweet and nice but let’s be real, she NEEDED someone to get in her face and make her listen at that point. No, for me it was the fact that it made Nesta so afraid to be near him and that kind of power, and when Rhys scented that fear, “one side of his mouth curled up in a cruel smile.”

Yo, if Tamlin had been the one in this scene instead of Rhys, he would be CRU. CI. FIED. I was EXTREMELY glad to see Feyre basically tell him to stfu and put him in his place. Like WTF Rhys. Is this deliberate on SJM’s part? Is this her attempt to “humanize” Rhys and give him flaws, since he basically didn’t have any before??? If so, I appreciate the effort, but maybe give him some that don’t make him like a controlling psychopath (because that title’s reserved for Tamlin and Tamlin only, amirite?! If this were Tamlin, it would be all about his need to control a situation.)

UGH, and Rhys and Feyre talking about Lucien coming for Solstice and him telling Feyre he could “stomach him”.

“I can let go of the taunts”. What taunts?????? Are you for real??? Hate to break it to you Rhys, but are you forgetting the fact that in ACOTAR you showed up to the manor and taunted Lucien about the female he loved being murdered in front of him????? YES, I KNOW HE WAS DOING THIS DELIBERATELY AND DIDN’T REALLY MEAN ANY OF IT AND WOULD NEVER SAY IT IN REAL LIFE. But Lucien had no way of knowing this until very very recently. Here’s the 497th thing that enrages me in this series: the Inner Circle getting shitty towards people for treating Rhys like a bad guy. Like. I’m sorry. I understand it’s frustrating and heartbreaking to see him be viewed and spoken about this way, but this was by his own doing. He literally WANTED people to think this about him. It was his way of protecting Velaris. You can not expect a complete 360 degree turn overnight. Did it happen this way with Feyre?!?!? NO!!!! You have to give people a chance to really get to see and know him before this can happen.

“And the fact that he still harbors some hope of one day reuniting with Tamlin.” Oh yeah, how DARE HE want to reconcile the destroyed friendship he has with the one person who was there for him when his family murdered the woman he loved and kicked him out of his home. How DARE he try and be sympathetic towards Tamlin and want to try and work things out and make them better for both of them. How DARE he want to be able to go back and live in the place that’s become his home. Stfu Rhys.

“But I cannot let go of how he treated you after Under the Mountain.”

“I can. I’ve forgiven him for that.”

“Well, you’ll forgive me if I can’t.” Icy rage darkened the stars in those violet eyes.

I’d like to take everybody back to ACOMAF and this passage that sent everyone screaming from the rooftops, ready with their pitchforks and knives to castrate someone:

“I don’t give a shit if she’s your mate. I don’t give a shit if you think you’re entitled to her. She is mine--and one day, I am going to repay every bit of pain she felt, every bit of suffering and despair. One day, perhaps when she decides she wants to end you, I’ll be happy to oblige her.”

Nothing further needs to be said about THAT.

I said I was going to make a point of the communication issues later on, so here it is: so many of the problems/underlying tension in this series would be solved if people actually communicated with each other like rational adults. I understand that a book with no conflict is boring and stupid, but I’ve just read so many series where the conflict is happening OUTSIDE of the characters, and we see how they have to deal with it. I mean like, it is really really bad in here. No one communicates issues with each other. Feyre doesn’t communicate with Tamlin. Tamlin doesn’t communicate with Feyre. Mor doesn’t communicate with Azriel. Azriel doesn’t communicate with Mor. Cassian doesn’t communicate with Nesta. Nesta doesn’t communicate with anyone. The only ones who seem to consistently have open honest communication with each other are Rhys and Feyre which honestly, at this point, why am I not surprised. Feyre and Tamlin suffer from an abominable lack of communication. Everyone shits all over him for not doing anything to help her after Under the Mountain. But sometimes you have to tell people what you want. I don’t necessarily feel like Feyre expected him to read her mind but at no point does she sit down with him and give it to him straight how it really is with her: I’m struggling and I’m struggling hard. With the way things are going, ______________ is going to happen. What I need from you right now is ____________. Either we can try and work on it together, or I’ll have to find something else that works for me. It’s pretty widely accepted that Tamlin developed some PTSD of his own after ACOTAR and his behavior in ACOMAF is stemming from it. Fine, whatever. But nowhere does he sit Feyre down and lay it all out for her: I’ve been dealing with violent horrible shit all my life. You are the first good thing to happen to me in years. Having to watch you go through that and being powerless to do anything broke me in ways I didn’t know I could be broken. I feel so guilty and awful that you went through that in the name of love for me that I feel like I owe it to you now to keep you as physically safe as possible. If I’m coming across too strong, we can work it out together. (I’m still holding out that this conversation will happen). Mor never tells Azriel she doesn’t love him romantically. I’m not even talking about her sexual preference to females. I’m just really confused why she couldn’t just be like, “You’re a really great guy, but I don’t see you that way. I’m not attracted to you, you’re like my brother”, just like you would any other guy you don’t want to date. Her preference for females doesn’t even need to be brought into it. Az never confronts Mor and is like “When are we going to stop playing this pining game, like it’s been 500 years. These are my feelings for you, do you reciprocate, or don’t you?” (I know Rhys claimed it’s because he feels unworthy of her, but how long were they going to let this go on for? It’s been 500 years). Cassian, I will admit, does finally begin to be one of the first to drop the bullshitting around and have an open and frank conversation with Nesta. It doesn’t go anywhere, but I’ll at least give him credit for trying. Nesta opens up to no one, not even Elain. I get that this is literally part of who she is as a character so I’ll give her that. Some people are literally just like that. But no one can deny that it would be healthy for her to get her feelings out at this point. I mean seriously, the list of issues is endless. Feyre doesn’t give Tamlin a real explanation behind why she left. She doesn’t tell him she’s happy with Rhys and he’s treating her well. They don’t tell anyone (at first) that Rhys’s whole thing with Amarantha was an act and he’s really an honorable noble person. Tamlin doesn’t tell Feyre the real reason he supposedly sided with Hybern and what he was planning to do. Instead, all these people let all these issues sit and stew and stew until they boil over into some big, ugly, dramatic thing. I’m hoping that in this next part of the series, we’ll see some resolvement with all this. These conversations that need to happen will happen. Because until then, it’s frustrating.

The only other thing I wanted to touch on was the baby thing. I’m not really surprised at all about it. Honestly, since the moment I heard Sarah was pregnant, I figured it was only a matter of time before we saw something pregnancy related pop up in one of the series. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I am a HUGE HUGE sucker for domestic things like this. I want to see the whole married with babies epilogue with a big pretty bow on top. Normally any time something baby related is brought up, I’m like UH YES PLZ anytime now would be fine (as long as the characters are in a strong committed relationship with no serious factors affecting it). But when Feyre said she wanted to wait, I totally understood. They are immortal, they have YEARS for this to happen. I liked them falling into their new role as High Lord and Lady, taking their time to slowly but surely recover the best they could from their ordeal, and enjoy each other for a while (because in the grand scheme of things as far as fae go, they’ve barely been together for any time at all). To hear it so soon WAS unexpected, but like I said, also totally not at the same time. I really really thought the reason they were calling Nesta to the New Feysand Palace in the sneak peek chapter was to tell her Feyre was pregnant (you know it’ll happen in the new series). Let’s all pray hard for their future kid though, because while every other child always has the awful possibility of losing a parent and being raised by one, theirs would automatically be an orphan. Their “when one of us dies, the other will” pact/bond was the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

I swear to God, every time Rhys called her “mate” when he was speaking to her, I read him totally speaking in an Australian accent. It really made me LOL.

You know what DIDN’T?!

“Watch how I fuck you, Feyre.”

One last thing really quickly. . .what is up with this world building? Reading ACOTAR, I got a very clear sense of a high fantasy/medieval-y world. Then ACOMAF opens with Feyre puking into a toilet. I was like Huh?! Toilets? Ooookkay. Then throughout ACOMAF, Feyre is mentioned many times wearing things like leggings, sweaters, and boots. There is a leather sofa in the Chapter 55 Mountain Cabin. Like what else is in there?? A plasma flat screen??

I feel like I just did nothing but spew negativity for the past million years and I DON’T LIKE IT. I’ll say it again: I take no pleasure in feeling any of these things. I am not about hating on an author or series just because it’s become popular. Like I said, CRACK. I definitely feel all these things pretty strongly, but at the same time, I am very much in love with the series. I’m attached to the characters, I’m sucked into the story. I want everyone to be happy. I know you may not believe it, but there ARE things I enjoyed about this novella. A few of them are:

The background information we got about Cassian’s mother and how she is the main motivator in pretty much everything he does. Break my heart :(

The description of the Winter Solstice in the Winter Court. Seriously, it sounded so glorious I had to pause reading for a second and dwell on how badly I wanted to be there for it.

Amren having issues with peeing :D

Amren in general and the bluntness with which she calls people on their shit (“Don’t take her to the wine--take her to the food. I can see her bony ass even through that dress.”)

Feyre helping the children of the Night Court heal their trauma through art.

I think that’s basically it. I’m sorry most of this sounded so negative, but it was all pretty much word vomit. I had so many feelings built up that I just had to get them all out and I feel a lot better now. Do we have a release date for the next one? Like I said: BOOK. CRACK.

[jenni-with-an-i]

Reflections and Refractions: Chapter One

February 17, 2016

8:13 PM

Jack's POV

I had driven up to the mountain, and was waiting for the cable car. It wasn't that big of a climb, but still, I was tired after the drive. I was definitely ready to see all my friends after the long semester at college.

Suddenly, there was a crunch of the snow behind me, and I spun around. Behind me was one of my best friends, Zeke. His full name is Ezekiel, but he hates it.

"Heya Jack. How's life going?" He greeted me, and we hugged. I punched him lightly in the shoulder, and he chuckled.

"Where’s everybody else?" I asked, while we climbed into the cab.

"Already up there, I think, " he responded. We made small talk, as the cab took us up onto the mountain. I glanced at Zeke.

He had changed a lot, gotten taller, since he was a few months older then me, which he never let me forget. Dark blond hair, which was always ruffled up, and a hint of an Connecticutian accent. I'd known him since first grade, when he had drawn on my arm, and I retaliated by drawing on his face. We had been inseparable ever since.

Poor Zeke, he had never had much luck in love, but I've always tried to help him. Emphasis on tried. This trip was probably going to hurt a bit, there would be some old flames...you never know.

We reached the top, where Piper was waiting. I got out, followed by Zeke, who looked nervous. At that point, I remembered that Piper and Zeke had had a thing in the past, before she dumped him. I think Zeke still had feelings for her, but I could never be too sure.

"Jack! How are you?"

"Fine, not much going on.”

"And Zeke! Long time no see! " she exclaimed, hugging Zeke, who had a surprised look on his face.

"Shall we head up?" I said, confused by the affection given by Piper, who had shown absolutely no remorse of ending it. But if Zeke was okay with it, I was too.

Piper was pretty enough, nice enough, raven black hair, with just enough makeup to look casual. Zeke and I shrugged at each other, before beginning to climb. We staggered up the mountain to the cabin, where the rest of the group were waiting. Piper opened the door to the main living room, where we crowded in.

"Jack! Zeke! Good to see you!" Alex exclaimed, as he saw us enter from the bar. He grabbed a towel, and walked over to us.

"Nice place! You've added stuff since I've last been here!" Zeke grinned.

"Come over, have a drink. " Alex gestured, as he walked behind the bar again.

"So, what's your poison, Jack?" He grabbed a glass from under the bar.

"I'll have-" I began, before Zeke cut in.

"A martini, shaken, not stirred." He said, attempting a British accent, and failing.

"Needs work. Not the best impression.” I muttered, as Alex and Zeke laughed.

"Is the Brit insulted?" Alex laughed.

"Just a beer for me. " I said, glancing around the room. Sam and Shaun were relaxing on the couches, sipping drinks, as Gabe was animatedly reenacting his latest endeavour.

Just so you know, Sam is Gabe's girlfriend, she’s nice, very smart. Shaun is quieter, soft spoken type, but can sure surprise you. Then there's Alex. Alexander, with dark brown hair, who owned the place-or more accurately, his family owned. He always had a look that made you think that he was up to something. His smile was infectious, and I was one of best mates.

Well...

I'd like to be more, but I could be rejected, he probably doesn't feel the same way as me. I'd seen the way he looked at Piper, to him, I was only a friend. He passed me my glass, and Zeke's martini. I slowly relaxed, and put my drink on the bar.

Suddenly, someone clapped their hands onto my back, and I froze. I turned around, only to see my other best friend, Vivian.

"Hello my British friend!" She said, smirking.

"Hello my American friend!" We laughed, while I finished my drink.

"Hey bro, pass me a pint too!"

"Get your own!" Alex said, sticking his tongue out at Viv. The siblings looked remarkably similar, and had an incredibly close relationship. We exchanged small talk, as Gabe and Sam started to cuddle, while Shaun, visibly embarrassed, scooted away.

"Get a room!" Alex yelled, as the two sat up, beetroot red. Zeke was engaged in a conversation with Piper, who was moving closer and closer. As I put the now-empty glass on the side, I smiled at our group of friends.

If only I knew what was to come.

If only.

[alewyren]

SMT?

I’m just gonna limit this to mainline because you didn’t specify.

The first character I first fell in love with:

Demifiend, believe it or not. Nocturne was my first SMT game ever, even before I ever touched Persona, and something about this edgy shirtless teenager running around punching demons in the face resonated strongly with fifteen-year-old me. He’s still probably one of my favorite silent protagonists ever.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

NAVARRE. Did anyone actually like him in SMT4? Or expect him to have actual character development as a blob ghost? 4A had a lot of problems, and I get why some people don’t like him, but he was one of my favorite parts of the game. Naturally, I had to choose him as my megami when I did anarchy. BEST WAIFU. also, free doping.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t:

Tough. I’m not really a fan of Jonathan or Walter, and my feelings towards Flynn and Isabeau are lukewarm at best. Does SMT4 as a whole count? I enjoyed 4A despite its flaws, but SMT4 was just… really bland, imo.

The character I love that everyone else hates:

Chiaki. She’s popular on tumblr afaik but on /r/megaten hating on her is something of a meme. I get why, but honestly I love what an unapologetic power-hungry bitch she is. There’s no attempt to portray her as tragic or a love interest or whatever, she’s just following her Reason just as Isamu and Hikawa are. Girl power means power to be just as much of an asshole as the boys. Yosuga is the best reason ending and Baal Avatar is the only sponsor that isn’t fugly.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

Toki, and also Nozomi. Just… goddamn. Whoever wrote 4A, never touch female characters again. Asahi only managed to avoid being on this list because she had at least some character depth. Toki just makes me sad. And immensely creeped out. The fact that Atlus apparently thinks lolicons are a legitimate demographic they should be appealing to in any way, shape, or form is utterly sickening.

The character I would totally smooch:

SMT IMAGINE LUCIFER. HOOOOOOLY SHIT I WANT HER TO DESTROY ME. Yuriko and Chiaki are also 100% my type. As far as demons go, in no particular order I’d smooch Vivian, Cleopatra, Sati, Nekomata, Angel, Laksmi, Amaterasu, Asherah, Ame no Uzume, Kikuri-Hime, Gabriel… I’m probably forgetting a lot. tbh my end-game party is usually a very careful balance of powerhouses and hotties.

On the male end of the spectrum, I’d totally smooch Krishna. Something about him is just so intensely alluring.

The character I’d want to be like:

uh. Yuka? She led an entire revolution despite being merely human. That’s pretty impressive. She’s not really my favorite character by any stretch, but unlike Chiaki she doesn’t really have manikin genocide under her belt.

The character I’d slap:

Toki. Just so she shuts up for five goddamn minutes and I can use her to farm mitamas without wanting to kill myself.

A pairing that I love:

hrm, I don’t actually have that many ships in mainline SMT. Closest I have to a legit OTP would be Flynn/Krishna, though I have a soft spot for Aleph/Lucifer.

A pairing that I despise:

Nanashi/Toki is probably my NOTP of the franchise. I’m not against it in concept, but the way it’s written is just so fucking creepy. Nanashi/Asahi also turns me off immensely, and I’m so grateful that you can just ditch the shit waifus and romance Hallelujah or Navarre. Or Gaston I guess but who cares about Gaston.

I’m also not really a fan of Chiaki/Demifiend? Or even Yuko/Demifiend. Demifiend not really having a love interest was really refreshing to me. It left his human connections a lot more up in the air rather than pushing a designated waifu onto the player. I do think Demifiend/Pixie is cute, though.

[chierafied]

Plsss write somthing jily where they just a few week until fall in love its on a break and lily its home and there is a family party but sudenly lillys mom call to lilly that a boy who has messy black hair ask for her. But its a fam. Party so youknow

Thanks for the prompt, hope this one shot is to your liking! ^_^

Just Smile and Mingle

Family parties were always an awkward ordeal – cosying andcatching up with people you had little else in common besides blood.

But, Lily Evans thought wryly to herself, it certainlydidn’t help being a witch and having to keep nearly everything about your lifea secret from your Muggle relatives under the penalty of law.

It made her smile all the more fixed, her small talk all themore stilted, the lies covering up this whole other magical part of her life tasting foul on her tongue, necessary asthey were.

At the moment, Lily was stuck answering her second cousin’spolite enquiries and hating every second.

Petunia, on the other hand, was positively glowing, pressedinto her dear Vernon’s side, making rounds to introduce her boyfriend to everyone.

Lily escaped her second cousin’s clutches and rolled hereyes, but almost bumped right into her cousin’s wife – Violet? Vivian? Valerie?Something along those lines – and fixed an empty smile right back onto her faceand said hi.

Their small back garden offered no hiding places, and Lilycast a longing look at the house. 

Where was her mother? She’d be out soon, Lilyhoped. If she had to play hostess for much longer her head would explode.Petunia might’ve been right in her element but Lily so wasn’t.

Oh, there was her mother now, waving at her. Lily swalloweda sigh of relief and excused herself from the idle meaningless chatter she’dbeleaguered to maintain with Violet/Vivian/Valerie, and crossed the garden.

“Need help in the kitchen?” she asked hopefully as shereached her mother.

Her mother gave her a look. Something about her smile wasmaking Lily nervous.

“There is a boy,” Mrs Evans said, the kind of speculation inher voice that all mothers seemed to excel in, “in our sitting room. He rangthe doorbell just now, asked for you.”

Lily groaned. If it was Remus, she’d be okay, but if it wasSirius Black she would be well and truly doomed – a reckless pureblood in a partyof Muggles was much the same as the infamous bull in the poor china shop.

She went inside with a trepidation her mother’s meaningfulglances did nothing to alleviate, but when Lily entered the sitting room shefound neither Sirius nor Remus.

Stiffly perching on the sofa, his eyes round and wild andhis black hair as impossibly messy as always, was none other than James Potter. 

Lily paused in the doorway and blinked, as her hands fussed with her sundress. 

What the heck was Potter doing in her house? Just the sight of him in theirsitting room was utterly bizarre – like in that very moment the two worlds Lilylived in overlapped and collapsed into one another.

She must’ve made some strangled sound because James lookedup that moment – and immediately sprang from the sofa and strode to her, hisface scrunched up in an expression close to panic.

“Did you get it?” he demanded, stopping to stand in front ofher.

“Get what?” Lily asked, getting more confused by the second.

“Your Hogwarts letter!”

Lily flinched. “Ssh!” she hissed instinctively, glancingback towards the garden full of Muggles. “I did, got it this morning,” shereplied in a lowered voice. “Now what’s this all about?”

James grabbed her shoulders, and Lily grew even morealarmed. He peered at her, his eyes pleading.

“Please tell me you made Head Girl.”

“I – well, I did, actually,” Lily stammered, her cheeksflushing as she remembered the pin that had rolled out of the envelope.

“Oh thank Merlin.” James’ grip of her slackened as hisshoulders slumped in relief. He took a step back, then nervously ran his handthrough his hair. “At least we have one competent head student, then.”

This piqued Lily’s curiosity. “You know who’s Head Boy? It’snot some Slytherin is it? Oh, is it Remus?”

James shook his head. “No, it’s not a Slytherin and it’s notRemus.” He swallowed, grimaced, then went back to mussing his hair.

Lily wanted to grab his hand and force it to stay still.

“It’s me,” James finally blurted. “They’ve gone and losttheir marbles and named me Head Boy.Ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Oh.” Lily blinked. “That’s… unexpected?” she offeredmildly.

And it was – the thought of James as the Head Boy hadhonestly never crossed Lily’s mind.

Yet, the news didn’t surprise her. James wasn’t the sameimmature git he’d been when they had been fifteen; he’d really changed lastyear, for the better; he’d become more responsible, become more humble, becomefriends with Lily.

“Unexpected?” James snorted. “Is that a polite way to saythey’re all bloody barking – no one in their right mind would make me a Head Boy.”

Lily arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms. She’d hadquite enough of that, thank you very much.

“Why not? I think you’re going to be a brilliant Head Boy.”

James gaped at her. “You – I…” he sputtered, then blushed.

Mrs Evans chose that moment to return to the sitting room.

“What are you two still doing, all cooped up in here?” sheasked, her eyebrow rising. “Go out and mingle!”

“Mum,” Lily wailed, desperation creeping into her voice.“It’s all right, Pot – James just needed to over some school stuff with me –”

“Well since he’s here, he might as well stay for the party,”Mrs Evans cut in and levelled a friendly, somewhat expectant smile at James.“Won’t you, dear?”

“I – er… That is…”

“It’s a familyparty, mum, James wouldn’t wish to impose. In fact, he was just leaving,” Lilysaid hurriedly, trying her best to convey “please go” with a rather panickedglance at James.

“Yes,” James said, instantly catching on and looking ratheralarmed himself. “Thank you for the invitation, but I couldn’t possibly –”

“Nonsense!” came Mrs Evans’ unyielding reply. “It’s notrouble, and Vernon is attending too so of course you are welcome to stay. Goon, have fun!”

James undecidedly looked from Lily to Mrs Evans.

Lily sighed, recognising their defeat.

“Come on,” she said to James in resignation even as MrsEvans beamed at the two of them. “The party’s out in the garden.”

James followed her with uncharacteristic meekness.

“Er,” he began as soon as they were out of earshot, visiblyflustered. “Vernon’s your sister’s boyfriend, right?”

“Unfortunately yes.”

“So… does your Mum maybe think that you… and I…?”

“Of course she does,” Lily huffed, covering herembarrassment with irritation. “If any bloke my age shows up asking for me hejust has to be my boyfriend, hasn’the?”

“Yeah I guess… My mum would probably jump to conclusions,too,” James replied, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

“Just remember my family’s all Muggle, okay? So no breakingthe Statute of Secrecy.”

“Got it,” James said, though his nervous tone didn’tparticularly cheer Lily up.  

“Don’t feel the need to impress anyone,” she told himsternly. “You’re not actually myboyfriend after all – and it’s not like I get along well with everyone, either.I spend more time at school than I do at home so I don’t really see my extendedfamily much.”

“All right,” James said softly.

“Right. Here we go, just take a deep breath and smile.”

With James right beside her, Lily stepped back out to thesunshine, and the party in their back garden.

[hunnywrites]

Sixteen Candles: Part Five - The End

Summary: It’s the day that Vivian has been looking forward to nearly her entire life: her sixteenth birthday. But between her sister’s wedding overshadowing her big day, and praying that her crush Billy Hargrove will finally notice her things aren’t going too well for her. If she can just survive the under the sea dance at her school and avoid the really weird and creepy Tommy H her night might be salvageable. Maybe.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/OFC

A/N: Here it is! The final chapter! I’m gonna miss Vivian. And Carol was honestly a lot of fun to write. Maybe one day if you guys want I can write more for Billy and Vivian. Enjoy the ending!

It was the day that Vivian and her family had been dreading. Sarah’s wedding day. One would imagine that a girl’s wedding day was one of the happiest days of her life. You would never have guessed that with Sarah. The entire household had been woken up around five in the morning by the sound of a near blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom that Carol and Vivian shared. Vivian sat up on the couch abruptly, blinking wildly and looking around to make sense of what was happening. Slowly lights around the house started to flick on as her family got out of bed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Sarah screeched upstairs. 

Vivian hurried upstairs, where her parents, grandparents and Carol were all crowded outside of the bathroom door with concerned looks (technically Carol looked more annoyed than concerned). 

“Sarah, language. Is everything alright? Please let me in. You’re scaring us,” their mother said calmly. There was a long silence before the lock clicked and Sarah poked her head out of the door. There were mascara streaks under her eyes from her tears. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“I got my fucking period!” she wailed. Carol broke out into a loud cackle as their father shuffled awkwardly in the hallway.

“I’m gonna...I think I’m gonna go start breakfast…” he mumbled. Vivian’s grandparents quickly followed after them. Sarah opened the door wider and burst into a loud fit of sobs. Vivian let out a loud and annoyed sigh. And here she thought Sarah was freaking out about something important. 

“Sounds like the honeymoon is gonna be a blast, huh Sarah?” Carol teased. 

Their mother let out a small huff and turned to glare at Carol. “Carol, please. You’re not helping. Sarah, I know that this is...inconvenient, but it’s not the end of the world. This is just a tiny speed bump, okay? We’ll handle everything and it’s all going to be perfect.”

“Yeah, until it comes to the wedding night,” Carol snorted. “God, imagine you’re walking down the aisle and you’ve got a huge stain on your ass and you have no idea?” she laughed. Vivian bit down on her bottom lip and let out a cough to cover her laughter. If it had been anyone else she probably wouldn’t have found it so funny. But this was a little like karma kicking Sarah in the ass for being such a pain. 

“Carol, Vivian, go downstairs now or you’ll stay home and miss your sister’s wedding.” their mother warned, pointing a finger at the stairs.

“...Is that supposed to be a threat?” Vivian asked genuinely. Carol laughed loudly beside her. Their mother glared at them, and the two sister’s retreated downstairs and to the kitchen where their dad was getting a head start on cooking pancakes. 

He cast a nervous glance at them over the top of his glasses. “...Has the screaming stopped?” 

“Momentarily.” Vivian sighed. She couldn’t wait for Sarah to go back to Florida. The sun wasn’t even up yet. And things wouldn’t get any better. Between the stress and the cramps, Vivian was sure that Sarah was going to make this the wedding day from hell.

Eventually her mom came downstairs. She leaned against the doorway and let out a heavy sigh. “Okay. She’s going to take some muscle relaxers, I’m going to make her some tea, and we’re all going to try and make it through today in one piece,” she was saying it more to herself than to the family. Vivian and her mother made eye contact, and her face softened. “Oh, Vivian…” she walked over to her youngest daughter and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Your birthday. I’m so sorry we forgot your birthday.” 

“Mom, it’s fine...really…” she said, wincing at how hard her mother was squeezing her. 

“It’s not fine. It was your sixteenth birthday. We’re gonna make it up to you, okay? Whatever you want.”

Her dad let out a snort. “Good luck. She’s already trying to work me for a car.” 

Carol was watching the exchange with a wicked grin. “God, how embarrassing. Your entire family forgetting your birthday. Imagine being that forgettable.” 

Their mother fixed a stern look at Carol. “Young lady, if you let out one more nasty comment today so help me…” Carol only rolled her eyes. Their mother turned back to Vivian, taking her face in her hands and smiling sweetly down at her. “How about some chocolate chip pancakes, hmm? That’s a start, right?”

Vivian smiled and nodded. She felt so awkward now. She had wanted her family to feel guilty for forgetting her birthday. Now that they did she felt weird about it. Like it was too much attention. Hopefully it would wear off. She could definitely get used to all the sucking up. “Definitely.”

---

If Billy didn’t have work it was rare that he’d wake up before noon on a weekend. Neil hated it. Billy didn’t really care. Susan usually saved him a plate of whatever she cooked up for breakfast in the oven. She was always trying to be his friend. Always trying to be the good guy. He hated it. 

He was still laying in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He could hear Max and her friends out in the living room. Which meant Neil and Susan had to be out for the day. Billy rolled out of bed and shuffled down the hall. They were all there. All six of them. Great. “Don’t you nerds have anything better to do than hang around here?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Max said. “Aren’t you supposed to be cool or something? Why are you stuck at home on a saturday?” 

Dustin grinned. “I bet it’s ‘cause his girlfriend dumped him.”

“She didn’t dum- where did you even hear that shit anyways?” Billy snapped.

Dustin only shrugged. “Steve told me.” 

“Is she who you were calling all night?” Max asked perking up. Each of the kids snapped towards Billy’s direction. They were annoying, sure, but he hadn’t taken them for gossips. “Because if you were, you’re an idiot. I hate Cheryl.” she scrunched up her nose as if her name gave her a bad taste in her mouth. 

“No. I was...do you ever mind your own business?” he asked with a huff. The six kids only stared up at him, waiting for him to spill the beans. Billy rolled his eyes. “I was calling Vivian. She’s Carol’s sister.”

“She’s getting married!” Lucas said, as if he had realized something no one else had. 

Billy sneered down at him. “Married? The hell do you mean she’s getting married? She’s sixteen.” 

Lucas and Mike shared a look. “...I’m pretty sure you can get married if your parents say it’s okay. Like with a permission slip or something.” Mike suggested. 

“...I don’t think that’s how it works, Mike.” Will said with a sympathetic smile. 

Max rolled her eyes. “It’s not Vivian that’s getting married. It’s her sister, idiots. That totally can’t be legal.” 

Billy looked at each of them, blinking wildly. He set his hands on his hips. “Can some explain what the hell is going on? How the hell do you know so much about Vivian?”

“We gave her and Robin a ride home from the movies last night,” Dustin explained. “She said that her sister Sarah’s getting married today and her family forgot her birthday. Pretty shitty if you ask me.”

“...Is there a point to anything you’re telling me?” Billy asked.

Mike shot him an irritated look. “We’re trying to tell you that if you’ve been calling Vivian, and she hasn’t been answering, you can probably just find out wherever it is her sister’s getting married and see her person.” 

Billy didn’t think there were enough words in the english language to explain how annoyed he was that a group of 13 year olds had figured out how to get him to Vivian when he couldn’t do it himself. 

“You can’t wear that though.” Dustin said, nodding to the shorts and shirt Billy had worn to bed. 

“...Yeah. Thanks for the tip.” Billy said dryly. 

“Even if he changes, who says she’ll even want to go out with him? Vivian’s too good for you.” Lucas said.

Billy scowled down at him. “Too good for me? You were with her for like, what? Half an hour last night? How would you even know?” 

“It was long enough to know she’s too good for you.” Lucas affirmed. The others nodded along with him in agreement. Billy only spun around on his heels, stomping back to his bedroom to change. He hated when Max’s friends were over. They were either finding little clever ways to insult him or begging him for rides around town. 

He quickly changed, or as quickly as Billy could change, and headed back out to the living room. He snatched up his keys. “This good enough for you little weirdos?” he asked, spreading his arms out. The kids were surveying his outfit carefully.

“...You got anything in blue, maybe?” Dustin asked.

Billy rolled his eyes. “It was a rhetorical question, Henderson. I’ll be back later, Max. Try not to set anything on fire.” and with that he was out of the house and sauntering out to his car. It wouldn’t be all that hard to find Vivian, would it? Maybe if he was fast he could catch them at their house before they left for the wedding. If not, Hawkins was a small town. She couldn’t have gone that far. 

He felt a little pathetic. Following a girl around like this. He supposed it might look romantic or something to Vivian though, wouldn’t it? Maybe she’d be impressed. Billy sure hoped so. There wasn’t really any way this weekend could get any shittier.

---

Vivian was honestly surprised Sarah wasn’t dead. A few hours after the family had all finished breakfast, Vivian’s mother had gone upstairs to check on Sarah. It turned out that Sarah had nearly tripled the normal dose of muscle relaxers she was supposed to take and could barely stand up on her own. “Sarah, what were you thinking?! On today of all days!” their mother scolded her, trying to help sit her upright in her bed.

“I was thinking that my uterus was trying to claw its way out of my vagina, mom.” she spat. Vivian and Carol were crowded in Sarah’s doorway, watching on in amusement. Sarah’s eyes were all glossy and they couldn’t seem to focus on any one thing. Her voice was slurred to the point where Vivian couldn’t believe she could understand anything her sister was saying. And she wouldn’t stop swaying back and forth. Carol of course thought it was hilarious. 

“Jeez, Sarah. I always had my suspicions that you didn’t actually like Kevin but this is a new low even for you. Drugging yourself to get through your wedding?” she taunted. 

“Yeah? Yeah? Well...shut up, Carol. At least I’m getting married,” she pointed an unsteady finger in her sister’s direction. “Like that stupid...dumb Tommy boy is gonna wanna marry you after he finds out that’s not your real nose!” 

Carol let out a gasp, instinctively covering her nose. Vivian burst into a fit of laughter beside her. “I had a deviated septum, you cow!” Carol cried.

“Enough! Both of you! Carol, I’ve had enough of you. You’re staying home! I can’t have you harassing your sister while she’s like this. Not if you don’t want me strangling either of you in the middle of the church! And Vivian, please stop laughing.” 

Vivian pressed her lips together tightly and cleared her throat. “Sorry, mom…” 

Carol flipped her hair over her shoulder and sneered at Sarah. “Fine by me. Like I’d want to go to that tacky ass wedding anyways.”

“Uh...can I stay home too? I mean, you guys did forget my birthday after all…” Vivian asked, looking between her mom and Carol. 

“You’re going to the wedding, Vivian. Now will you please go and get dressed while I try and get your sister out of bed?” she gave Sarah’s arm a firm tug and she was up and out of bed on wobbly feet. “Can one of you help me?” 

“Why should I? I’m not in the wedding anymore.” Carol snapped, turning dramatically and stomping down the hall. Vivian let out a soft sigh and went to Sarah’s other side, throwing her arm around her and helping their mom guide Sarah out of her room. 

Sarah looked over at Vivian with squinted eyes. “You know,” she began with a loud huff. “You’ve always been my favorite sister,” she confessed. Vivian couldn’t really help but smile. That was probably one of the nicest things Sarah had ever said to her. “I mean, even though you dress like total shit. But that’s like...a phase, right? Because I remember like, I used to wear bell bottoms all the time, you know? But then I realized they were totally out so I haven’t worn them in years. That’s what’ll happen to that horrible jacket you’re always wearing. Hey mom, don’t you think Vivian looks like a total lesbo-”

“Sarah!” their mother yelled. “Don’t call your sister...that. Let her wear what she wants to wear. Vivian, ignore her. She’s not making any sense.” 

“Don’t worry. I’m just gonna pretend she stopped after telling me I’m her favorite sister...I mean, it’s just me and Carol so there’s not much contest, but still.” she mumbled. 

“Carol,” Sarah scoffed. “I’m glad she’s not coming to the wedding. You know, her and Tommy totally did it in your bed while you and dad were on that cruise. And I never told anyone because I am like the best sister.”

Vivian wondered if maybe she had somehow died and gone to hell. 

---

There was only one car parked in Vivian’s driveway. That didn’t really help Billy much. He parked his Camaro at the curb and quickly made his way up the walkway to the front door. He rang the doorbell three times, his leg bouncing with nervous energy as he waited for someone to answer. 

Eventually Carol did. “...What are you doing here?” she asked, sneering at Billy. 

He didn’t answer her. “Is Vivian here? Can I talk to her?”

“She’s at the church with the rest of my family. My mother actually grounded me from going. Can you imagine? It’s their loss. I’m the only one that looks good in those disgusting bridesmaids dresses Sarah picked out.” she said with a flip of her hair.

Billy rolled his eyes. “Carol, I really don’t give a shit. I’m kinda on a time crunch here.”

Carol narrowed her eyes at Billy, as if she had finally heard what he was saying. “Wait, what do you want with Vivian anyways? What, are you trying to get back at Cheryl for dumping your ass or something?”

“She didn’t dump me. We were never dating,” he said through his teeth. “Why’s it your business anyways?”

“Because I’m gonna have to hear Cheryl bitch about it when she sees the two of you together,” she scoffed. “Besides, you’ll totally get bored with Vivian anyways. She’s a total loser.”

“Carol, can you just shut it and give me the address to this damn church?”

Carol rolled her eyes dramatically and let out an annoyed groan before disappearing inside. Eventually she came back with a folded piece of paper. “Here you go, Romeo. Enjoy your blue balls.” she said with a tired sigh.

Billy didn’t say anything. He snatched the paper from her and headed back to the Camaro. He slid into the driver’s seat, muttering angrily to himself. The church thankfully wasn’t too far. He could make it in time. He just needed to make a stop at Bradley’s Big Buy first. “I’ll show her Romeo.” he mumbled, stomping down on the gas.

---

Vivian looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. The poofy, purple dress that Sarah had picked out for her to wear was simply hideous. She expected something a little more bearable with all Sarah’s talk of the latest trends in fashion. Then again, maybe the latest trends were just ugly. 

Sarah wasn’t really fairing any better than she had been that morning. Their mother had tried to get her to drink some coffee in hopes it might dull the effects of the muscle relaxers, but now Sarah was jittery on top of loopy. There was no way she would be able to make it down the aisle alone much less in one piece. At least this might make things a little more entertaining. 

Vivian’s parents decided it was best not to tell Kevin about Sarah’s...situation. The last thing they needed was for him to start nervously hovering around and stressing Sarah out even more. Vivian thought it was sort of sweet. She definitely didn’t see whatever it was that Kevin saw in her sister, but she was a little envious. Vivian found her mind wandering to thoughts of Billy and she sighed. At least he’s not here to see me in this stupid dress, she thought with a grumble. 

“You alright, Vivian?” her dad asked from beside her.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m just tired,” she lied. “Is the ceremony starting soon or what?” 

Her mother was using all of her strength to try and pull a half conscious Sarah out of her seat. “As soon as I get your sister up on her feet.” she said with a grunt. Her dad hurried over to help. Sarah finally stood up, her head lolling over to the side as she let out a sniff.

“Daddy,” she began. “This is so sad. I’m getting married and I’m not gonna live with you guys anymore.” she cried.

Their father smiled thinly and patted his oldest daughter on the arm. “You don’t live with us now, sweetheart...let’s just go hand you over to Kevin, hmm?”

“Oh, Richard,” his wife scolded. “Now isn’t the time for jokes. Vivian, when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle, don’t waste any time, okay? We need this to be over as soon as possible. Or at least before your sister passes out.” 

“You don’t have to worry about me.” Vivian said with a salute. 

All things considered, the wedding hadn’t gone too badly. At least, aside from Sarah falling half way down the aisle, taking her father and a good amount of the decorations with her, and nearly yelling “Oh my god, what is that fat cow doing here?” as they passed by Kevin’s mother. Vivian was almost sad Carol hadn’t been there. She would have loved it. 

Their mother had stood next to Sarah during the ceremony, her arms held out wide and ready to catch Sarah in case she fell. Kevin looked slightly terrified, which was to be expected. Once Sarah and Kevin were officially married, their father had to help Kevin practically drag Sarah down the aisle and out to the limo.

The guests all stood on the steps of the church, waving goodbye to the newly married couple. Vivian’s mother let out a loud sigh next to her. “Thank god that’s over.”

Vivian’s father wrapped his arm around her shoulders “Vivian, sweet pea, I’ll buy you a car if you promise you’ll elope.” 

“Richard.” Her mother scolded. “Don’t listen to him. He’s kidding. Aren’t you, Richard?” But Vivian wasn’t really paying attention. The wedding guests had started to disperse, on their way to the reception. A familiar blue Camaro was parked across the street. Vivian felt her heart pounding in her chest as her eyes met with Billy’s. There was no way this was actually happening. 

“...Isn’t that Carol’s friend?” she heard her mother ask. Vivian ignored her. Billy gave Vivian a lopsided grin before awkwardly waving. 

Vivian turned to her dad, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes. He smiled and waved her away. “Go. Your sister won’t remember her reception anyways.” He joked. Vivian hugged her dad tightly, picking up the skirt of her hideous purple dress and hurried across the street to meet Billy.

“Hi…” she said quietly. “Um...Carol isn’t here.” 

“I know. I went to your house to see you and she told me you’d be here,” his grin had turned into a smirk. Vivian felt her cheeks burn at his confession. 

“You wanted to see me?” 

“Yeah,” Billy rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since last night. I called, but your grandparents kept answering…” 

Vivian shut her eyes tightly and let out a groan. “Oh god,” she mumbled. “I am so totally sorry.”

Billy let out a soft laugh and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I was kinda thinking maybe we could go do something? Celebrate your birthday? I got a cake with your name on it.” He jabbed a thumb at his car. Vivian could see a small, white cake covered in sprinkles with her name scrawled across in pink icing. 

“You got me a cake?” She asked with wide eyes. You’re worth it, honey. The right guy will see it. Her father’s words from the night before were playing over and over in her head. 

“Yeah. I mean, you said your family forgot so-“

Vivian reached up on her toes, taking Billy’s face into her hands and kissed him. Her stomach wouldn’t stop doing flips. She almost felt dizzy when she felt Billy’s hands rest firmly on her hips. 

She was sure her face was beet red when she finally pulled away. She turned around, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over her when she saw her parents still standing there on the church steps, pretending not to look. Great. That’s what every girl dreams of; her parents watching her first kiss. 

Billy only smirked down at her. “...You wanna get out of here?” He asked with a chuckle. 

Vivian nodded enthusiastically. “Please.” Billy opened the passenger’s side door for her. Her heart was hammering in her chest again as he slid into the driver’s seat next to her. 

Billy took her in with an amused smirk, Vivian looking over at him with a shy smile. “...Dig the dress.” He teased. 

Thanks, wanna rip it off with your teeth? Vivian cleared her throat, shaking the thought away. “Just shut up and drive, Hargrove.” She muttered, biting her lip to keep herself from smiling. 

“Whatever you say, Birthday Girl.” 

Vivian decided to take back everything she had said for the past two days. All of her complaints and sassy comments. Riding in the Camaro next to Billy, loudly listening to Tank, Vivian decides this was her best birthday yet. 

[jenni-with-an-i]

Chapter One!

February 17, 2016

8:13 PM

Jack's POV

I had driven up to the mountain, and was waiting for the cable car. It wasn't that big of a climb, but still, I was tired after the drive. Suddenly, there was a crunch of the snow behind me, and I spun around. Behind me was one of my best friends, Zeke. His full name is Ezekiel, but he hates it. "Heya Jack. How's life going?" He greeted me, as we hugged. I punched him lightly in the shoulder, as he laughed. "Where is everybody else?" I asked, while we climbed into the cab. "Already up there, I think. " he responded. We made small talk, as the cab took us up onto the mountain. Before I go on, I better describe Zeke. Tall, 22 years old, a few months older then me. Dark blond hair, which was always ruffled up, and  a hint of an Connecticutian accent. I'd known him since first grade, when he had drawn on my arm, and I retaliated by drawing on his face. We had been inseparable ever since.  Poor Zeke, he had never had much luck in love, but I've always tried to help him. This trip was probably going to hurt a bit, there would be some old flames...you never know. We reached the top, where Piper was waiting. I got out, followed by Zeke, who looked nervous, when I remembered that Piper and Zeke had had a thing in the past, before she dumped him. I think Zeke still had feelings for her, but I could never be too sure. " Jack! How are you?" "Fine, not much going on. " "And Zeke! Long time no see! " she exclaimed, hugging Zeke, who had a surprised look on his face.  "Shall we head up?" I said, confused by the affection given by Piper, who had shown no remorse of ending it. But if Zeke was okay with it, I was too.  Piper was pretty enough, raven black hair, with just enough makeup to look casual. Zeke shrugged at me, and  I shrugged back. We staggered up the mountain to the cabin, where the rest of the crew were waiting. Piper opened the door to the main living room, where we crowded in. "Jack! Zeke! Good to see you!" Alex exclaimed, as he saw us enter from the bar. He grabbed a towel, and walked over to us. "Nice place! You've added stuff since I've last been here!" Zeke grinned. "Come over, have a drink. " Alex gestured, as he walked behind the bar again.  "So, what's your poison, Jack?" He grabbed a glass from under the bar. "I'll have-" I began, before  Zeke cut in. "A martini, shaken but not stirred." He said, attempting a British accent, and failing. "Needs work. Not the best impression. " I muttered, as Alex and Zeke laughed. "Is the Brit insulted?" Alex crowed. "Just a pint for me. " I said, while I glanced around the room. Sam and Shaun were laying on the couches, sipping drinks, as Gabe was animatedly reenacting his latest endeavour. Just so you know, Sam  is Gabe's girlfriend. Shaun is quieter, soft spoken type, but can sure surprise you. Then there's Alex. Alexander, with dark brown hair, who owned the place-or more accurately, his family owned. He always had a look that made you think that he was up to something. He had gone abroad to Russia to study, and had subsequently picked up words and an accent. He passed me my glass, and Zeke's martini. I slowly relaxed, and put my drink on the bar. Suddenly, someone clapped their hands onto my back, and I froze. I turned around, only to see my other best friend, Vivian. "Hello my British friend!" She said, smirking. "Hello my American friend!" We laughed, while I finished my drink. "Hey bro, pass me a pint too!" "Get your own!" Alex said, sticking his tongue out at Viv. The siblings looked remarkably similar, and had an incredibly close relationship. We exchanged small talk, as Gabe and Sam started to cuddle, while Shaun, visibly embarrassed, scooted away. "Get a room!" Alex yelled, a Russian accent still noticeable from his time abroad, as the two sat up, beetroot red. Zeke was engaged in a conversation with Piper, who was moving closer and closer. As I put the now-empty glass on the side, I smiled at our group of friends. If only I knew what was to come. If only.