#[ probably the biggest OH GOSH thing is the 'out for blood' because he definitely did go on a 'justice/revenge' trip ONCE in his life ]
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tagged by: @thundertide tagging: steal it~
#✩ [ to admire the flowers ] ayato headcanon#[ the italics are 'sometimes' things ]#[ probably the biggest OH GOSH thing is the 'out for blood' because he definitely did go on a 'justice/revenge' trip ONCE in his life ]#[ right after his parents died >.> (because I don't think they died of natural causes and Ayato ALSO figured that out) ]#[ but yeah he doesn't just randomly go after people ]#[ or even get angry all that easily ]
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finally found the time to watch generation loss and oh??? my gosh!????? i love ranboo’s stuff and i already had high expectations from hearing all the buzz about it but this totally blew me out of the park in a way i didn’t expect at all.
go watch it, even if you aren’t into ranboo it’s a great thing on its own. it starts a little slow but that’s on purpose!! just trust the process, as they say <3 (i’m using that in the wrong context i know but shhhhh)
anyway time to scream about it in an essay long post because i’m so incredibly normal about this series and not being a horror/arg nerd about it at all nope no way why would you think that ahaha.
[spoilers ahead! there’s only three episodes, all up on their vod channel and about an hour each! it’s so worth a watch!!]
okay, so, episode one was nothing like what i was expecting right off the bat.
i’ve seen the stuff on the actual genloss channel, and i figured it would all be sort of that vibe. imagine my surprise upon seeing ranboo sneeg and charlie being a little bit silly in a cabin in the woods (and also christian hell? for some reason?). i stuck through it, though, no matter how taken aback i was. it was so worth it in the end, but i’ll get to that later teehee <3
the cyoa aspect was cool! i wish i had been there to see it live, because i’m the biggest sucker for choice based stories and arg-style games.
not much more to say abt ep1, to be honest. just know that it’s definitely a completely different vibe than what you’ll probably expect (ranboo said this was on purpose!!). oh also i love squiggles he is everything to me. a little guy. a blorbo even. even if he uh, did turn out to be evil like i originally suspected.
ep 2! this one was almost equally silly in nature, but you can see the “cracks” begin to show a lot more in this one. (“why is cracks in quotes?” you may ask. well, iykyk, and if you don’t, watch episode three.)
the puzzler was great, i think it was hilarious that the mask was basically just how he looked anyway. the beginning was a good hook, i genuinely thought we were getting into the juicy stuff when ranboo was locked in the chair.
when he found charlie, i’m ashamed to admit that i didn’t expect charlie’s guts to be slime. that’s his thing. he’s a goopy gushy guy. i should’ve known. anyway. the part where the “illusion” starts to break and the slime turns to blood for a moment?? DELICIOUS. SO GOOD. MWAH.
NIKKI’S SUDDEN SWITCH IN HER INTRO ON THE CAROUSEL????? so good. everyone’s acting was incredible tbh especially in ep 3, i’m so happy. the silly death dialogue from ethan was great (until it wasn’t. iykyk, i’ll get to it), too. THE HAT BIT??? WHERE THEY REPROGRAMMED SNEEG??? AAA?????? so in love with this episode, it was the perfect transition to the hell that is ep 3.
okay so. ep 3. where do i start omg. i guess at the beginning, that makes sense.
i was really excited to finally have a name for hatch! honestly, even though my villain-senses were sounding off all sorts of alarms in my head, i was fooled for a short while as he was guiding ranboo. learning about the drones was interesting, too. lots of good lore built around the company and those guys! very cool ^^
WHEN RANBOO WENT AGAINST THE AUDIENCE AND CHOSE THE YELLOW CODE. IM RUNNING OUT OF WAYS TO EXPRESS MY EXCITEMENT AND AWE,,,,, UHHHH YIPPEEE???? I GUESS????? that was the thing that really set me off about hatch being maybe not so great. good stuff!!!!
ranboo finding the streamers pretty much locked in those mall restaurants!! AND CHARLIE DOING AN ACTUAL STREAM DURING IT!!!!!! gah, this series is so cool!!!!!! them constantly on the run from the drones and security (TERRIFYING monster, btw, i love when evil dystopian corporations have monsters as security <3) was so wild to watch. i don’t think i’ve been that anxious for the main characters of a series for quite some time.
them seeing the cabin set. ohhhhh my gosh. and then charlie dying (? presumably) at the hands of security before ranboo hits the button to stop everything. graaagh i ate that UP. again i’m running out of ways to express my love for this series lmaoo.
the “ending.” oh my goodness the fakeout “ending.” i was so thrilled, so happy for ranboo i let my guard down and was like “yes!!!! evil bad guys stopped woohoo!!! get this guy some rest and therapy!!!”
and then they bowed.
when i tell you i GASPED. like it was my fault for not checking the time on the video and having my guard down but i GASPED.
hatch letting the audience choose if ranboo lived or died. hearing ranboo scream and beg to be set free, and then beg to die…. i genuinely teared up. despite the rather grim choice to have them die, i think it was for the best. though i do wonder what would have happened if the votes stayed 50/50….. if anyone knows if ranboo has talked about that anywhere, do let me know! if not, i’ll shoot them an ask about it, because i’m sure it would’ve been interesting.
anyway, this series was so much cooler than i ever could’ve imagined. i was already invested in the stuff on the genloss channel, like i mentioned, but seeing the project for myself and getting to watch this incredible series was breathtaking. i’m a huge nerd for dystopias and horror, and ranboo somehow nailed combining them both with great comedy and a great story.
and i’ve heard it’s been nominated for an emmy? or something???? that’s literally so cool!!!! i wish ranboo the best of luck in future projects, genloss was a fantastic watch and i can’t recommend it enough <3
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OH DAMN, ANOTHER BRAIN MOMENT!! I’ve clogged your inbox enough as it is so from here on out I’m just gonna try to keep it to like… maybe one ask a week LMAO I know your account isn’t exclusively about zombie au stuff. So last one:
I hate to think like this, but… what would happen if one of our precious survivors did end up getting infected? You probably know where I’m going with this, but ohhh shit First Aid’s caretaker instincts and overall fatal drive to support and protect does not benefit him in the long run! At least, not if you go by the black-and-white thinking. I won’t start a whole philosophical debate, so anyway. Let’s say somewhere down the line he gets infected, because…. It’s First Aid, he’d probably try to help someone who they found on the streets who looks “ill” but is actually a zombie in the making and ends up getting bitten, whoops.
There’s definitely a few ways you could go about this. For one, you could be like OH MY GOD IVE BEEN BITTEN *cue zombie transformation*, or you could be like FUCK I’ve been bitten, try to get as far from the house as possible while this awful disease ravages your system within seconds. Or, secret third option, you could do something like the 2017 zombie movie Cargo.
It’s been a while, but if I remember correctly, it was about this dad surviving an apocalypse who had his kid strapped to his back. Like, the kid was 2ish maybe, one of those tiny humans that can fit in the harness you wear over your shoulder and you’re like a human pack mule and your baggage is a child? I dunno what to call them. ANYWAY, if I remember correctly, the zombie transformation process wasn’t immediate. At least, it wasn’t like “five minutes from now I’ll be hungry for flesh.” It might’ve been like an hours thing, maybe more like a days thing?
A chronological process here with that in mind:
1. Say the person he’s trying to heal isn’t infected-infected, like they’re still coherent. If they bite him then, it would obviously infect HIM, too, but I feel like the process would be slower.
2. With that in mind, you just know First Aid realizes exactly how this is gonna go. He’s gonna be zombified sooner or later, there’s no doubt about that. His biggest concern is probably like “how quickly is this gonna happen?” Does he have enough time to get himself and the survivor he’d tried to help away from the farmhouse? Can he inform the Combaticons, maybe the children? Does he have more time than he expects? What’s the process gonna be like? Where does he even start?
3. Thankfully for him (actually not thankfully it’s even more awful this way LMAO), the infection seems a bit more gradual than instant. It’s probably a two, three day process, and throughout the whole thing he just feels so tired, his body feels sore, he feels so hungry, super hungry. At the same time, regular food cooked by Onslaught which is usually the best thing he’s ever tasted is repulsive, nauseating even.
4. Those things aren’t the worst of it, though. First Aid’s BIGGEST problem is the site of the wound itself, which started out as a small bite-shaped puncture wound but has now spread across his ENTIRE arm, causing the skin to go blue and veins to appear and gosh, he couldn’t stop bleeding at first, but now there just isn’t any blood at all, no clotting, nothing. He’s lucky he can still feel that arm, let alone use it, because he can feel his nerves dying out one by one. It doesn’t actually hurt, which is a little surprising. If anything, it just… I don’t know, it’s just like he’s gradually getting less and less aware that he has two arms, not own.
5. Ironically, despite the danger he puts himself and others in, it does take First Aid some time to open up about what happened. Only hours after the incident does the poor survivor fully transform into a flesh-eating, brain-hungry monster, and First Aid doesn’t have the courage to stick around when Brawl heads out back to “take care of the poor guy.” The Combaticon is strangely humane about the entire ordeal, and it makes First Aid feel a little better, but it’s like knowing the day you’re gonna die. There’s nothing you can do, but it’s still haunting.
6. He doesn’t actually end up telling anyone, though… they just sort of find out. First Aid was pretty diligent about keeping the bite wound sanitized and wrapped, despite it doing little to help. He’s more afraid of infecting others via contact with the injury, though, and… well, he still hasn’t gathered the courage needed to open up about what happened. It’s a weird feeling, but one moment First Aid is sitting at the dining room table, staring down at a plate of food he hasn’t touched yet while Vortex and Swindle argue over some unimportant topic, and the next thing he knows, he’s suddenly being pinned to the ground by a very aggressive, very scared Onslaught. It’s hard to tell exactly what had happened at first, but a quick glance at the upturned tables and chairs and Swindle—who’s quite literally quivering in the farthest corner of the room and completely silent for once in his fucking life—tells him exactly what had happened.
7. All of a sudden, everything erupts into poorly controlled chaos. The children who witnessed the incident are crying, First Aid starts crying, Swindle is babbling on about rabies and infections and god knows what, Brawl is struggling to help gather everyone up and out of the room so Onslaught can have some space to work. It takes some time, but he eventually manages to help guide First Aid out of the house and away from the trashed dining room.
8. You could end it all depressingly with First Aid being eliminated but honestly, I hc that they just keep him in the barn or something LMAO. I like the idea that zombies aren’t as aggressive during the day, and if anything, more curious that bloodthirsty. Also, you COULD try to feed him a little something here and there. Maybe not, but like… it’s not out of the question. Vortex takes him on like he’s just another horse living in the stable, and he’s honestly the only one who’s unfazed by First Aid’s tendency to nip at stray fingers. At one point he even suggests pulling First Aid’s teeth to make him less dangerous, but the children lost their minds, so that was quickly turned down. Either way, First Aid is now their little zombie pet, and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Sometimes Vortex even takes him out on little walks with a harness and a leash. First Aid doesn’t mind it, for the most part. He even seems to like it, and he especially likes stopping to stand under the shade of trees while Vortex continues training his precious mare.
I’ve always imagined First Aid would be the type of person who would realize he is going to die, and try the very drastic amputation method. Like, if it works, that’s a different topic. But I imagine he would have seen how long it takes to turn, and then gamble on, “if I amputate the area that got bitten, then I can survive” but it would have to be a very very rapid decision.
Ie: realizing he got bitten on the arm, ripping off the clothing there, tying a tourniquet, grabbing whatever sharp object he keeps on him and doing the worlds worst and most horrific amputation. You could make a case that maybe he has medical tools on him that could be used for amputation. But it’s equally likely that he doesn’t. Bonus points if he’s alone, or what if he’s not alone and Vortex has to hold his arm down for him. Ugh. Interesting stuff though!
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opposites attract
pairing: steve rogers x villain!reader
summary: based off of the lyrics:
“you and i are two oceans apart
we're on earth to break each others hearts
in two, and it's hard
with you, when i'm too far
from you, i look at the stars,
do you?”
from ‘ferrari’ by the neighbourhood
warnings: injuries, sparring, mention of blood and bruises, angst, fluff, and banter
word count: 3.7k
a/n: i am a simple woman. i think of a hurt/comfort concept and am morally obligated to write it. (this is a repost from the other day so if you saw it before, no you didn’t)
if you’d like to be added to my taglist, click here! as always, comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3
Thick, cushioned, cream colored walls. You supposed this was an upgrade from your last room, with its harsh and reflective steel. Every time you made an appearance here, it seemed there was a new, yet futile, attempt to keep you contained.
As you studied the pillowy surface, you drummed your fingers on the wooden table that your hands were currently strapped down to, and secretly hoped for your captor to rear his head, even if he was peeking through the double-sided mirror to your left.
Your mind proved itself to be a powerful thing, as the door ahead of you opened, and none other than Captain America stepped in, looking valiant and proud as ever.
“Good afternoon, Captain,” you greeted.
“Flux,” he said in a matter of faculty tone, nodding his head at you before pulling the chair in front of you aside and sitting down.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” you asked, as if you hadn’t been tussling with him in the streets less than an hour ago.
“Y’know, just our biweekly catch up,” he shrugged, playing along.
“Can I suggest coffee for our next meeting?”
Steve scoffed, but you almost swore that if you squinted, you could see him blush. “Enough of that,” he mumbled before opening a yellow folder and turning it to face you. “You ready to tell me about him?” Steve asked, pointing to a printed photo of Brock Rumlow.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Captain,” you responded, looking up and batting your lashes at the man. This routine was like clockwork for you two. Fight a little, get yourself caught after a moment of weakness, and end up in an interrogation room.
“Don’t play dumb with me Flux,” he warned in a snarl, wrapping his fingers against your wrist and making you yelp. That was definitely going to leave a mark.
“Ouch, Captain. You’re being rough today, even for you.”
“I’m always rough with you,” he insisted, raising a brow as he loosened his hold on you.
“You’re being rougher than usual, that’s what I just said,” you furrowed your own brows at him. “Something on your mind?
“You’re stalling,” Steve stated while squinting at you.
“I would never do something like that, Cap,” you closed your eyes and visualized the outside of the building. “Does it have anything to do with those accords?”
You opened an eye quick enough to catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking, “I didn’t mean to strike a chord. Oh my gosh, ‘a chord’, accord. I really didn’t even mean to do that.”
You opened your other eye to get a clear view of him glaring at you. “Okay, sorry, I’ll be out of your hair in a moment,” you gave Steve a sly wink.
He stood up from the chair in a dramatic fashion, leaning down to get right in your face. “No. You won’t. Tell me everything you know about Rumlow.”
“Cap,” you pouted mockingly. “You’re not very good at this. Really makes a gal wonder why they keep sending you in to interrogate me, when you don’t seem to get much out of me.”
He grit his teeth while looking down at you, your eye contact both intense and passionate.
“If it makes you feel any better,” you began, looking away at a plain wall in an attempt to focus a bit more on leaving, “I genuinely know nothing about him.”
Steve gave you a humorless look, and your eyes naturally flitted back to him, “really,” he said drily.
“Really,” you confirmed. “We don’t really work in that whole chemical warfare field. Especially with a guy like Rumlow? He’s bad news. Did you really think that all ‘villains’,” you made air quotations on the table. “Know the intimate details of each other’s lives and plans?”
“Hmm,” Steve hummed aloud as he moved back, seemingly convinced.
“I was serious when I said that I’m leaving, though. You and I both have better things to do. But please tell Wanda that she did a good job for me, okay? I mean, civilian deaths are never pretty, but I genuinely would miss having you around.”
“I hate how you talk so much, but literally say nothing,” he huffed.
“I’m not gonna take that personal, ‘cause I know you don’t really mean that,” you sighed softly and looked away to visualize the outside of the building. “Hopefully the next time I see you won’t be UN sanctioned. Farewell, Captain.”
With those words, you were gone.
——
For the next few days of your life, you hadn’t stopped receiving an earful at the Brooklyn base. Mainly from your teammates, who seemed to never let things go, and were the nastiest gossips you’d ever met. Currently, rumor had it that Cecelia, your boss, was preparing to have a strong word with you.
You cracked your knuckles anxiously as you followed a teammate, Amelia, down into the sparring facility, as an attempt to calm your mind before whatever bad news was broken to you.
You passively listened to the TV in the corner of the room while wrapping your knuckles in preparation of getting your ass beat, and listened to the rapid fire reports from hours earlier in the day, but mainly tuned into the fight between the Avengers at the Leipzig airport.
“Have you heard?” Amelia questioned, tying up her lengthy hair as she sauntered onto the mat.
“No, tell me more,” you followed suit on the mat, rising onto the ball of your foot to the heel of your foot in an alternating rhythmic bounce.
“I guess some of it is that UN thing, but it’s probably because of the Winter Soldier,” Amelia bounced similarly to you before charging forward and throwing a left hook at you.
“No way! I thought that guy just disappeared after that S.H.I.E.L.D shit,” you dodged the swing, and went to knee her. “I swear, I asked Steve about it once.”
Amelia rolled her eyes at you, and caught your knee, pushing you down to the ground in the process. “You’re obsessed with him.”
“I think it’s mutual. And you said you’d go easy on me,” you whined, grabbing her extended hand and pulling yourself back up.
“You’re delusional, and that’s why Cec is pissed with you. In fact, Cecelia was so mad, that she couldn’t even form the words to tell you. At least, that’s what she told Naomi.”
“Why, though? It’s not like I haven’t been caught by him a million times already.”
“That’s the problem, though. What happens when they decide to send someone else in to talk to you? And they start waterboarding you, or some shit? All the sudden the Avengers know everything about us?”
“Well that wouldn’t happen, because I would leave,” you shrugged after blocking a few punches.
“I hope you’re getting all your aloof-ness out now, because Cecelia is not gonna put up with this attitude.”
You huffed, and marched over to get a sip of water, dramatically squirting it in your mouth before heading back to the sparring mat.
“Just let me enjoy this while I can, okay? I know how to protect myself,” you swung your fist in an uppercut, and Amelia maneuvered herself out of the way.
“Well, I was just reading something before this. Apparently your boy is a fugitive of the law now. It almost looks like your time is already up,” Amelia commented, delivering a stiff jab to you at the same time that you crouched.
Hearing this news, you froze up, and the punch landed right on your nose, an unsatisfying crack reverberating in your ears.
“Y/N, you alright?” She asked, approaching you as you reached a hand up assess the damage, and pulled away an extremely bloody hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you mumbled letting her lead you off of the mats and to the connected bathroom, so you could get a better look at yourself.
You were dizzy with pain, and you pressed your hand to your nose, willing it to heal. Though not your most frequently used ability, it certainly assisted some of the pain. You squeezed your face in a cringe as your bone rearranged itself.
“Is he in jail?” you asked, watching her face screw up in the mirror.
“You’re not really- you are a lost cause,” Amelia scoffed.
“You could be a little nicer to the person whose nose you just broke.”
“You’re fixing your own nose! You’re fine, okay?” she exasperatedly brought her palm up to her forehead. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Be ready to talk to Cecelia as soon as you leave this room. A word of advice? Don’t mention your work husband unless she mentions it first, okay?”
Amelia set a hand on your back and pat it, “good luck with her. If you need a sofa to crash on after this, my place is always free.”
You shook your head at yourself as she left, your own personal healing already fixing most of the damage. As you hopped into your own shower stall, you couldn’t help but question just how bad this confrontation was truly going to be.
——
You walked into Cecelia’s office after receiving a text message from her assistant, inviting you to meet with her.
You were handed a disposable cup filled with piping hot coffee as you entered, and Cecelia beckoned you to sit down in front of her. You obliged, nervously rubbing your hands on your pants as you sat.
“Y/N,” she began in a sigh, “what has gotten into you lately?”
“Nothing, just-“ the older woman put an open hand out, prompting you to stop.
“No, Y/N. You’ve let Rogers become your biggest blind spot. You let him catch you off guard and capture you nearly every single time you go out on the field! I’m starting to think that you want him to catch you.”
“What if I do?” you shrugged, feigning indifference.
“It’s not a ‘what if’ anymore, dear,” Cecelia took a deep breath. “Especially after what happened in San Francisco.”
“I- Cec, you told me that you wouldn’t bring up California anymore!” you huffed and shook your head. “It’s not even like it’s a problem. They haven’t once received intel from me,” you added.
“Something tells me that you won’t be having the same interrogator for a while at least. We were gonna take you out of the field before this whole Avengers fiasco, but I think it’s time for you to just take a break as a whole.”
“So you’re firing me?” you huffed, “great.”
“No, you are taking a break. We can get you set up in the Prague safe house, and everything.”
You weakly threw up your hands and looked away from Cecelia, not even being able to bear looking at her for the moment. What a great day you were having.
——
You sulked the whole way up to your apartment, and reached in your jacket’s pocket with sluggish speed. It was as if you couldn’t catch a break today, which was all you seemed to be able to think about while grabbing your key.
You looked up at the door, and noticed something slightly off. The door was just the slightest bit ajar, as if it was deliberately cracked for you to see. Someone was inside. Waiting for you. You held in your groan as you came to this conclusion.
You really couldn’t catch a break.
Despite your better judgement, you devised a quick plan in your mind. You could probably protect yourself, right? You closed your eyes in a blink, and imagined your kitchen. The plasticky tiles on the floor, the dent in your countertop from dropping a mug, the wooden cupboards that you’d quickly fallen in love with. The next moment, you were standing in your kitchen, right next to your silverware.
As quiet as you could possibly manage to be, you slipped your sharpest and largest knife from its home in a wooden block, and defensively in front of you. Creeping out of the kitchen and into your hallway, you examined area by area for any sign of intrusion, pointing your knife with every turn.
After finding nothing and no one, at the end of the hallway you turned, walking back down and stopping in front of your living room after noticing a few dark stains on your carpet.
You took a deep breath before walking into the open space, the pit in your stomach growing at the thought of what it was that you were about to find.
With a few timid steps, you found a shirtless Steve Rogers, sat on your couch, head lolled back, eyes squeezed shut in pain as he released shallow breaths and attempted to apply pressure to a wound. With one look at him, you yelped and involuntarily found yourself back in the hallway outside of the room, your fear strong enough to force you into teleportation.
“Funny seeing you here,” Steve began, and you stalked back into the room, your steps slightly less fearful as you stepped over his discarded tactical gear.
“Steve?” You whispered, setting the knife on a random bookshelf before kneeling down on the floor next to him. You had a plethora of questions, but you couldn’t decide what was the most important. “I- Are… What happened?”
He shrugged weakly.
“Okay, well how badly are you hurt?” You questioned apprehensively.
“Pretty badly,” he responded.
You nodded slowly while you attempted to process the entire situation. You couldn’t tell if this was a scene from your wettest dream, or worst nightmare. “I’ll be right back,” you muttered, leaving the room to grab some water to help you speed up your healing process.
As you reentered your living room, you set down the bowl of water and squatted down next to Steve once again. Dipping your hands in the liquid, and placing them on an open head wound, you found it appropriate to question him.
“Steve,” you began, watching the forehead laceration quickly shrink into a small scar. “Why are you here?”
“I had nowhere else to go,” he put plainly.
“A hospital, maybe?” you added, pushing away the hand that was currently holding down a rather bloody wound on his upper arm, and exchanging it for your own.
“Something tells me that a hospital isn’t the best place for a guy of my legal status to be at right now,” he countered while you halted your attempt to reduce the size of the wound, cracking your stiff knuckles in preparation for the final push of closing the abrasion. “Besides, this isn’t the first time we’ve done something like this before. You remember S-“
“San Francisco. Right,” you cut Steve off, and brushed off the previous comment. “This is gonna hurt a little,” you warned. before setting your fingers down, and putting an obscene amount of pressure on the bicep wound.
Steve grit his teeth so hard that you swore you could hear it. His muscles clenched as you resumed your attempt to soothe the sore.
“Hey, look at me,” you used your free hand, and gently pushed his cheek so that he was looking at you. “If I distract you, it’ll hurt a lot less. Trust me.”
He seemed to agree with you, and took in a deep breath while the corner of his eye twitched.
“How did you even find my apartment?” you asked, using your pinky to tilt his chin up, and force his view away from the cut.
“It wasn’t that hard, I mean, we’ve been tracking you and that ‘financial firm’ you work in for years,” he spoke through clenched teeth.
“You sure it’s not because you like to keep a personal tab on me?”
“No! Why would I…?”
“Because if all the Avengers knew where me and my teammates reside, we’d all be locked up already.”
“Fine, maybe I pulled a few strings. It’s just because I think you’re the biggest threat to the general public.”
“Really? The woman with the least destructive powers of all of us, not the one with super strength? Or the one who could manipulate elements? Or even, I don’t know, the person leading us?” you chuckled a bit at the poor excuse.
Steve rolled his eyes fondly, but you could clearly see the soft flush on his face.
“It’s okay, Steve. We all have our favorite coworkers.”
“We aren’t coworkers, though.”
“It seems like you’re gonna need all the allies that you can come across. Don’t get picky with me now,” you tutted, finalizing your work on his peck, and leaving behind a small, pink scar.
You let out a breath of exhaustion as you pulled your hand away, and pointlessly shook out your wrists.
“You alright?” Steve questioned, adjusting himself a bit on the sofa and grunting at the rather simple task.
“Fine. What else needs attention?”
He gestured to the light bruising on his ribs that only seemed to be getting darker by the moment.
“We should take a break first, though. You seem tired.”
“I told you that I’m perfectly fine,” you countered, setting one hand on your chest, and pointing a lazy finger at Steve, “you’re the one that needs a break.”
Steve grabbed your finger and gently pushed it down, “I don’t really, but maybe we should take a break.” He gave you a kind smile, and your heart fluttered. Even bartered and bloody, Steve managed to make you feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.
“Well, any great Captain America plans to get yourself out of this mess?” you leaned against the sofa, and twisted your torso slightly so that you could get a good look at your visitor.
“Nope, not yet,” Steve pursed his lips slightly. “Any input from the lady who seems to get out of every rock and hard place she finds herself in?”
You snickered, and shook your head at this, “not at the moment. But you have me on speed dial, right? I can get back to you when I think of something,” you joked with a wink.
“I would laugh, but I���m honestly a little nervous that my lung might pop if I do.”
“Oh fuck, Steve,” you scooted away from him so you could be closer to the bowl of water once again. “Why did we take a break? You need urgent medical attention.”
“You needed a moment.”
You shook your head and frowned, catching the inside of your bottom lip between your teeth, “don’t do that again.”
You dunked both of your hands in the water, then turned back around and set your damp hands on the bruising on Steve’s ribs, closing your eyes in concentration as you addressed the damage.
Steve howled out in pain, making you flinch as a result. With the hand doing less work, you blindly pat around in a search for something to shove into his mouth and dampen the noises he was currently making. Eventually settling on a blanket, you shoved the fabric deep into his mouth.
“Sorry,” you uttered while the muted noise of his pain rang through your ears, “neighbors.”
The task wasn’t the easiest for you either, healing what seemed like such a large break or fracture following several other injuries was depleting your energy quickly. Your arms and hands trembled as you began to watch the splotchy yellow mark begin to blend into the rest of Steve’s skin, and you were becoming more and more light headed by the second.
Feeling somewhat satisfied with your work, you pulled your shaky hands away, and leaned away from Steve’s body before losing your balance, and falling back onto your plush floor.
Steve yanked the blanket from his mouth, sticking out his tongue for a second as he attempted to pull a spare string from his mouth. He sat up rapidly, and looked down at you with raised brows, and big, frightened eyes.
“Y/N?” he asked breathily, still exhausted from his own exertion, “you still with me?”
Your chest rose and fell slowly, and you were silent for a moment before responding, “I just need a minute.”
Steve relaxed back into the sofa with the knowledge that you were at least still conscious, and waited a few beats before he spoke again, “thanks,” was all that he managed to utter.
The two of you sat there in an extremely loud silence, the only other noise being your nearly synchronized panting.
“I’m gonna go shower,” you announced after what felt like hours on your floor. You slowly rose, and dragged yourself to the bathroom in your bedroom. Hitting the shower valve, then sitting atop your countertop you let the suite fill with steam, reflecting on your bizarre day, but most of all, your interaction with Steve.
You let yourself dwell on this while you stood in the shower, forehead pressed against the warm tile as you considered the implications of every word shared between the two of you, and how you’d let this tiny crush get so far ahead of you. Maybe it really was a good idea to take some time away from New York. You were so deep in your own thoughts that you failed to catch onto the sound of the floorboard that loudly creaked in your living room, or the soft click of your front door opening and closing.
Changing into some more comfortable clothing, you exited the bathroom, and ultimately your own room ready to offer up your shower to Steve, and possibly even talk about your feelings in a serious manner with him. Yet, by the time you arrived at the couch that had held him just a half hour ago, it was vacant. In fact, your whole apartment was vacant. You’d checked three whole times.
Ending your fruitless search on your balcony, you settled down into the single plastic beach chair that you kept outdoors, and draped the blanket from your sofa that had previously been in Steve’s mouth around your shoulders. The chill of the night air contributed to the sting of your eyes when they welled up, and you told yourself that it was silly to ever think that this, you and him, could ever happen in the first place.
Gazing up at the stars, you cursed yourself for being so naive. For letting yourself fall so fast, and so hard for someone you knew so out of reach. The stars seemed to mock you, in all of their billions of years of knowledge.
Yet, part of you was comforted by the knowledge that Steve could be viewing the same constellations as you.
----
a/n: listen. i feel like these idiots have a lot of potential so if you want me to write any more of them i am totally down!
#steve rogers x reader#captain america x reader#steve rogers x you#marvel fanfiction#marvel fanfic#captain america x you#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you
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in which Deku is a horcrux.
okay, so! here’s another post on this, because I feel like nobody is talking about it?? and like hey, I get it, because there was A Lot!! going on in this chapter! but you guys. like yeah, Tomura’s hair is pretty; and yeah, AFO kept Nana’s severed hand around for shits and giggles maybe; and yeah, Ujiko attempted to murder and abduct the child!Aizawa and then whined to Present Mic about having to settle for Shirakumo instead (which!!!!! YEAH, THAT’S. ....); and all of that is Some Shit!!
but also, guys. can we talk about how Deku has a fucking psychic link to AFO, though.
like hey, remember this?
the timing of which coincided with this?
yeah. and now we have this!!
coinciding with this!
so yeah. let’s break this all down really quick.
okay so here’s the theory in a nutshell.
1. AFO steals a power-stockpiling quirk from some hapless nobody, probably around 200 years ago. he doesn’t know it’s a power-stockpiling quirk, though. he thinks it’s a strength quirk. hence why he’s surprised to discover that it doesn’t seem to be working after he takes it! since quirks are still relatively new at this time, there’s a lot that people still don’t understand about them, and so he doesn’t realize he’s actually dealing with what Monoma would call a “blank.”
so what AFO thought was a strength quirk turned out to be useless for him, because he only copied the bare-bones essence of the quirk and not the accumulated power. disappointing, but not the end of the world. except that he’s about to go and make it a whole lot worse for himself.
2. so he decides to give this “useless” quirk to his quirkless younger brother as a means of getting him to submit! except that this backfires. because of this curious fact about OFA/AFO:
basically, the accumulated power of OFA can’t be taken by force (as Monoma discovered). but it can be transferred if the holder gives it to someone willingly. which, oh hey guess what, AFO actually did.
oop.
3. so basically, AFO had this power-stockpiling quirk sitting inside of him, stockpiling his power, until he willingly gave it up to his younger brother, and by doing so transferred a part of his own power into his brother as well. and these two powers which he transferred -- All for One, and the power-stocker -- combined to form what we think of as “One for All.” a quirk which stockpiles power and can be transferred from person to person (just as AFO can transfer quirks to other people at will).
4. and last but not least, we now know that’s not all that gets transferred from person to person.
so yeah. (: catch my meaning now?
so basically OFA is and has always been a duplicate of AFO. but unlike the quirk Tomura now bears, this version of AFO was transferred unintentionally. the results, however, are more or less the same! Deku now bears a piece of AFO’s soul inside of him much like Tomura now appears to. this is the only explanation that I can see for why he’s able to sense the awakening of Tomura 2.0 AFO’S Revenge as it’s happening, even though he’s miles away. the part of AFO that resides in him is still linked to the original quirk. just like AFO is linked to Tomura. because yeah lol I’m pretty sure he is you guys.
(: (: (:
so what are the implications of this? well for starters, it looks to me like Deku, AFO, and Tomura all have some connection to each other’s minds. the extent of this is still unknown, so like this doesn’t necessarily mean Deku is going to start making random appearances in Tomura’s mental landscape a la Kylo Ren, or vice versa. or that AFO can spy on the good guys by peering into Deku’s mind. but there is definitely some kind of psychic bond there which is going to be important, mark my words. hell, it already is becoming important; Deku being aware of Tomura’s resurgence is going to have a huge ripple effect on the events of the upcoming chapters. particularly if he, Shouto, and Katsuki end up leaving their assigned posts and running off to help Aizawa, Endeavor, and the rest. there are tons of potential plot implications for this moving forward.
then there’s also the as-yet-unknown depths of the link that’s now present between AFO and Tomura. I’m of the opinion that this is a part of AFO’s soul that’s now residing within Tomura, just as pieces of the Vestiges’ souls are currently chilling out within Deku. I don’t think AFO would have willingly given his power to Tomura unless he had some way of ensuring that he himself would live on in some way. AFO is the antithesis of everything All Might and Deku and OFA represent; if OFA symbolizes selflessness and sacrifice and many souls working together toward a common goal, then AFO represents egoism and greed and the sacrificing of many to benefit only one. OFA is give; AFO is take. AFO has no regard for others. he cares only about himself.
so for AFO to take a page from OFA’s book and decide to pass on his strength to another strikes me as a very uncharacteristic decision on his part. sure, he still gets his revenge, but what’s the point if he’s not around to see it? is he even capable of that kind of thinking? of understanding the concept of living on through someone else? and then there’s the fact that he started raising Tomura as his successor years before he suffered his injury at the hands of All Might. so was he planning this even back then? if so, one has to think there was more to it than him simply giving up his quirk in order to allow Tomura to succeed where he never could. I just don’t feel like it’s the kind of thing he would ever do unless he would somehow be able to bask in that moment himself when it finally came. he just doesn’t do things unless they benefit him directly. I don’t feel like the mere knowledge that Tomura would carry on his mission while he rots away in a jail cell would be enough. not for him; not for someone whose entire character is built around selfishness and greed and an unbridled thirst to make everything his.
but if he gets to somehow live on as part of Tomura, though. through his quirk. if it really is like a horcrux, where that piece of his soul has the capability to continue living on even if the original is destroyed. now, that. that would change everything. because that means he can still be the one in control. he can pull Tomura’s strings from within the shadows of his mind. he can see for himself the look on All Might’s face when he’s killed by the grandson of the woman he thought of as his own mother. he can continue to live on, to rule over everything, to be the lord of evil. so yeah. again, I feel like this is the only thing that would actually make sense, given the kind of person that he is.
anyways, so! lots to think about. and lots of questions remaining to be answered! is AFO aware of the connection he has with All Might’s successor as well as his own? (if so, that’s a huge and very dangerous powder keg which could potentially go off at any moment.) will Tomura, who much like Zuko in a:tla is now caught between two conflicting legacies -- that of the monstrous man who raised him, and that of his grandmother’s blood which runs through him -- prove to be less of a willing puppet than AFO anticipated? particularly if this implied new connection with Deku -- someone who is the complete opposite of AFO in many ways and whose influence would be so starkly unlike any other that Tomura has had in his life since his family died -- ends up panning out in ways AFO did not foresee? and of course, the biggest question of all, “is this theory really true to begin with, or is this all just a giant reach based on inconclusive evidence which we don’t fully understand yet?”
and maybe! lol. but like I said, whatever the actual truth ends up being, I didn’t see much discussion going on about the implications of this strange “he’s coming!” moment. and gosh darn it, I want to know more about this, and I want to know now.
#bnha 270#bnha meta#shigaraki tomura#midoriya izuku#all for one#one for all#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#long post#bnha theory#all for one for all#horcrux!deku#ofa the first
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Can’t Lose You (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Masterlist
Summary: A oneshot in which Reid’s injury leads to more than the usual “get well soon” from the reader. (Fluff, tiny angst)
Pairing: Spencer Reid and Reader (female)
Note: Hi there! I’d just like to say that I’m new to all of this and this is all in good fun. I love to read, so I thought that I’d give writing a chance. I’d love to hear what you think. Enjoy :)
Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of weapons, mentions of gunshot wounds, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of cheating, mentions of blood
Word Count: 2,159
------
“Jonas Everett, put the gun down,” Spencer demanded, as he assessed the situation in front of him.
You and the team have been in San Francisco for the past six days, working through another serial killer case. After many late nights and many phone calls to Garcia back at Quantico, the location and identity of the unsub was finally revealed.
Right now, Jonas was armed and holding a young girl hostage.
“Who… Who the hell are you?!” Jonas yelled back at Spencer, clearly distraught at the fact that he was being disturbed by the FBI.
So distraught, that Jonas forced the young girl he had tied up on the floor next to him to stand, while he pointed a gun to her head. The girl cried out, but was muffled by the cloth she had tied around her mouth.
“Alright, it’s okay, look. I’m going to put my gun away,” Spencer slowly lowered his gun and holstered it, putting his hands up after to show Jonas that he wasn’t a threat.
“My name is Spencer Reid and I work for the FBI. Listen Jonas, you have all the control here, I just want to talk. Me and my team have been studying your work. We think that what you’re doing is great and we want to show the world. You want to be famous right? We can make that happen.”
Jonas wasn’t picking his victims at random. The profile suggested that he was most likely hurt by a significant other because the only thing that linked all the victims was that they were all in a relationship where one partner was being unfaithful to the other. That, and the fact that all the victims had the word cheater cut into their forearm.
In the eyes of Jonas, he’s doing everyone a favor by getting rid of all the cheaters he could get his hands on. After killing the victims, he would place them in a public setting out in the open as a way to humiliate them as well as make himself known, without giving away his identity. He wanted any and all the recognition and reactions that the people could give him.
“Y-you think that my work is good?” The hand that Jonas held the gun in trembled as he tried to process what Spencer was saying to him.
“Oh, most definitely. Statistically, about 40% of relationships and 25% of marriages deal with at least one incident of infidelity. I think that all cheaters need to pay for their actions and face the consequences,” Spencer lied, knowing that he needed Jonas to trust him.
“You better not be lying, I need the public to know! They need to know what they’re doing is wrong! Everyone needs to know! You can do that, right?” Jonas yelled, as he took the gun away from the young girls head and pointed it at Spencer again.
“I promise you. I will make sure the whole world knows you name and what you did to keep people safe,” Spencer tried to reason, as he saw you and JJ creep around the corner behind Jonas, making sure to stay out of his line of sight.
Just as Jonas was about to lower his gun and surrender, he noticed Spencer’s eye flicker towards something behind him. That was the moment when Jonas knew Spencer was lying and trying to get into his head.
“You filthy liar! You’re no different!” Jonas became enraged and took a shot at Spencer.
As soon as you sensed danger, you retaliated and fired your gun towards Jonas, but you were a second too late. Your bullet hit Jonas in the back as Spencer got hit in his left shoulder, a place where the bulletproof vest didn’t cover.
Jonas fell to the floor, bringing the young girl with him as he used his last breath to whisper out, “liar.”
“Spencer, oh my gosh!” You sprinted across the empty room to Spencer as JJ ran to the young girl on the floor.
“We have an agent shot down, requesting medical asap please!” You frantically spoke into your earpiece, while applying pressure to Spencer’s wound.
“Y/N, please don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I hate seeing you so stressed out,” Spencer whispered, as he panted heavily.
“Just stay awake, okay Spence? The medics will be here soon they’ll take care of you.”
After a few seconds, two emergency responders came and took Spencer away on a stretcher, spewing medical terms you couldn’t focus on. You’re biggest concern was Spencer’s well-being.
“Hey, he’ll be okay. You know how strong he is. Now c’mon, lets go follow them to the hospital,” JJ comforted as she led the way to the SUV parked outside the factory.
~~~
Two hours later, you and the team were gathered in the hospital's waiting room, all anxiously waiting for an update on Spencer.
As you sat with your right leg nervously bouncing, you couldn't help but feel guilty about the whole situation.
Spencer wouldn’t have gotten shot if you noticed the change in behavior quicker. If you hadn’t hesitated to fire your gun. How could you let this happen. What would you do without Spencer? You've already lost too many people in your life, you can’t lose him too.
When you first started your job at the BAU three years ago, you specifically remembered Spencer catching your eye. He wore black slacks with a navy vest that covered a light blue button up shirt and a tie.
When you and Spencer were first introduced, you barely conversed with each other. You thought it was because Spencer didn’t take a liking to you, as you would always try to strike up a conversation with him, but all your attempts would end up with Spencer finding a way to awkwardly leave the conversation. Unbeknownst to you, however, your theory was far from the truth. When Spencer first saw you, he was entranced by you. He desperately wanted to talk to you, but whenever he tried, he found himself getting too nervous to hold a conversation, so to avoid being further embarrassed, he simply found ways to get as far away from you as possible.
Just when you were about to reluctantly give up trying to talk to the handsome genius, he gained the courage to make a comment on a book you were reading, which led to a real conversation between the two of you.
After that conversation, you and Spencer immediately clicked, and as time went on, you two eventually became best friends and basically inseparable. It started off with innocently getting coffee together in the morning and sitting together on the jet, but as you grew closer together, it turned into spending the night at each other’s apartments and being each other’s plus one to events.
What you neglected to acknowledge, however, was the fact that you were starting to develop a new kind of love for Spencer. A romantic kind of love.
Just because you pushed the new romantic feelings away doesn’t mean that the rest of the team didn’t pick up on it. According to Garcia, both you and Spencer were ‘blindly in love with each other.’
Despite the teams teasing, you thought that there was no way Spencer would ever be able to reciprocate your feelings. You were convinced that he saw you as a best friend, and absolutely nothing else.
“Are you all here for Spencer Reid?” a man in scrubs holding a clipboard stood in front of you and your colleagues as you snapped out of your thoughts.
“Yes, we are,” Hotch said, as him and the rest of the team stood up.
“Alright, well, the bullet didn’t hit any major arteries or organs which made the surgery fairly easy, for us and Spencer. As for his recovery, I strongly advise for him to take a few weeks away from the field, and he’ll be back in full health rather quickly. He’s starting to gain his consciousness back and you’re all free to visit, but to avoid overwhelming him, one at a time please.”
As you listened to the doctor's words, you felt a big weight on your shoulders just disappear.
He’s okay. Spencer’s okay.
You bit your lip and glanced at Hotch, seeing him already looking at you.
There was no doubt he knew how much this was affecting you.
“Go ahead, Y/N.”
You shot Hotch a small smile and turned to the doctor as he started to lead you to where Spencer was.
“This is it, room 23D,” the doctor said, as he stopped in front of a closed door with ‘23D’ engraved on a sign next to it.
“Thank you so much,” you turned to him.
He nodded with a smile and walked towards a group of doctors a few feet away.
You took a deep breath to brace yourself, and opened the door.
“Y/N?” Spencer croaked out as you walked through the door.
“Spencer… you’re okay,” you sighed in relief, closing the door behind you.
You walked towards him and sat in a chair next to his bed. He looked tired, no doubt from all the anesthesia. You smiled at him and pushed his messy hair away from his forehead, something you would do often.
Even after surgery he managed to look so attractive.
“I am. A little sore, but it’s not like this is my first time getting shot,” Spencer smiled up at you, rubbing your arm that was pushing his hair back.
“I know, but… I was so worried. Spence, I can’t lose you. I don’t know what I would do with myself. Especially because it was my fault! I shouldn’t have hesitated and-” I started to ramble before Spencer cut me off.
“It wasn’t your fault. I know you probably don’t believe me, but it’s true. I’m here right now and I’m here to stay. I’m not going anywhere,” Spencer moved his hand that was on my arm to my cheek. He smiled reassuringly, but the action just made my heart beat faster than it was before.
“I love you, Spencer,” you blurted out. You could feel your face getting warm as Spencer stared at you.
“I love you too, Y/N,” Spencer replied after a few seconds, thinking that you meant it as a friendly gesture.
“No, I mean...I just,” you stopped to take a deep breath. “Spencer. I’m in love with you.”
Spencer’s eyes widened, his grip on your cheek loosening.
You looked down, embarrassed of what you just confessed. You weren’t even sure why you said it. It just came out in the heat of the moment.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t-”
“Look at me,” Spencer cut you off and took your hand in his, but you refused to move. Gripping tightly, he whispered, “please.”
You cautiously trailed your eyes from the ground up to his chocolate eyes that were intensely focused on you.
“Y/N, I’m in love with you too.”
Wait. What? Did you hear him correctly?
“What?”
Spencer laughed lightly and pushed a couple strands of loose hair behind your ear.
“I am so madly in love with you Y/N.”
When those words came out of his mouth, you nearly fainted. On the outside, you kept your composure, but on the inside, you felt like you were on fire and could combust any second. You couldn’t resist the smile that broke out on your face, though.
“I know you insisted you’re okay, but I do recall you saying you were a bit sore. Is there anything I can do to help,” you bit your lip and smiled at Spencer, subconsciously leaning closer to him.
“Now that you mention it, I think that a kiss would really make me feel better,” Spencer smirked as he trailed his hand up your arm.
“Yeah? And where would that kiss need to be, Dr. Reid,” your faces only inches apart by now.
“Right here,” Spencer breathed out as he pulled your face towards his, capturing your lips.
Your hands immediately found themselves tangled in Spencer’s unruly hair, while his hands were grasping your face.
The kiss was so full of passion and love. It felt like two pieces of a puzzle were finally conjoining, like you belonged together. When you kissed him, you felt your whole body heating up with desire. You wanted to stay there and kiss him forever, with no end.
But alas, the beautiful moment was broken by the need to breathe.
You were both breathing heavily, as you rested your forehead against his. You stayed in that position for a while before Spencer started to talk.
“You know, if you keep kissing me like that, I think I’ll recover much faster than the doctor suggested.”
“Well, we can’t have you away from the field too long, right?”
#spencer reid#spencer#reid#dr reid#criminalminds#criminal minds#spencerreid#oneshot#dr spencer reid#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid fic#criminal minds oneshot#dr reid oneshot#BAU#quantico#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#dr.reid
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He Shouldn’t Have Done That (PART 2) - Leon S. Kennedy x Reader
Summary: Ever wondered what happened after your terrible fight with Leon in part 1. Well here is your answer.
Author’s Note: After receiving some messages telling me to write a sequel for "He Shouldn't Have Done That", there it is. But I must warn you, the angst is strong with this one. So get ready to cry! Oh, and I must warn you, that this chapter revolves around the theme of religion in addition to the theme of alcoholism and it also contain strong sexual terms. So if you're not okay with that, please don't read.
Tags: Angst / Alcohol Abuse; Alcoholism / Anxiety / Depression / Language / Explicit Sexual Content / Religion / Death and mourning.
When Leon was a kid, his mother would take him to church every Sunday, dressed in his Sunday best, which was a fancy white shirt and a pair of trousers he was only allowed to wear on Sunday. Needless to say, he hated Sundays. But his mother was such a good Christian, always wearing a silver cross around her neck, always having a Bible under her pillow. She’s the one who had told him to believe. She had told him to believe in God, in Jesus and Mary, in the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. She had told him to believe there was someone up there watching over him, judging him, someone capable of punishing him if he would ever misbehave, sin. Someone powerful, so powerful he could decide his destiny, his fate, his life, his death, and even his beyond. Someone who would accompany him to an heavenly residence after death, that sweet oh so beautiful paradise. Yes, that’s what his mother had told him. And he had listened and followed her teachings to the letter, maybe even longer that he could remember. He had done it because nothing could bring his mother more happiness than him behaving like the sweet choirboy from the suburbs, and that’s all he wanted back then, make his mother happy. But with all the horrors he had seen, Leon Scott Kennedy could not believe in any god anymore. He had buried all his belief, all his teachings - much to his sweet mother’s regrets - in the ashes of Raccoon City a long time ago. And with time, he even wondered if he had ever really believed in the first place.
“That city changed me, in more ways that I can think of. It turned me into the man I am today and sometimes I wonder who I would have become if I had just stayed home on that day instead of driving right into the hellish nightmare that was expecting me there. Possibly, some city cop whose worst worry would have been to know if there was enough paper in the printer. Maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad, who knows? After all, that dude would have never become the mess I am today, that’s for sure. That dude would have never found comfort in alcohol. He would have never cast God away in favour of something able to help him reach some ephemeral paradise, something that just needed a glass to be worshipped, something that preferred cheers to amen. No, that dude would have had a nice quiet life in the suburbs with a lovely wife, two beautiful kids and a dog. And like my mother, he would have taken his charming perfect family to Church on Sunday. Would it have been better for me? For us? Maybe, cause surely, he wouldn’t have done the same mistakes I did”
7 weeks ago - D.S.O Headquarters – Washington DC
You couldn’t help but focus on the fancy pen relentlessly tapping against the glass table. Sitting at the end of the table, perfectly still, his old face appearing somewhat more rigid than usual, the President looked very impatient. And his annoyance was for once more than justified. Leon was terribly late, and by ‘terribly’ you meant ‘almost fifty minutes late’ to be more precise. But the real problem was that he usually was never late. On the contrary, Leon was always the first person to arrive at morning meetings, most of the time carrying cups of coffee for each D.S.O agents including a special one for you: a large black coffee with extra foam on top and a small heart drawn next to your name on the cup, perfect to make you smile like an idiot - Your heart ached as you thought about it and realised there would be no more hearts drawn on your coffee cup now.
You discreetly glimpsed at your watch again, worried and imagining the worse. What if something happened to Leon? What if he drank too much again and fainted at home? Or worse, what if he had a car accident? After all, last time you heard him on your voicemail he sounded devastated and drunker than ever. “I am sure Agent Kennedy must be stuck in traffic, Mr President.” Ingrid Hunnigan dared say in his defence. “Then why isn’t he answering his bloody phone?” The President slammed the pen against the table and let out an angry growl. Hunnigan mumbled, trying to find something to say but the President cut her off before she could even pronounce a word. “Let’s start without him.” “Of course, Mr President.” She stood up and handed out a case file to each agent sitting at the table. When she got to you, she whispered, “Where is Leon?” You briefly looked at her and shook your head. She certainly didn’t know Leon and you had broken up. After all, it had only been a couple of days. “I don’t know.” You mouthed, trying to keep the nascent tears in your eyes. She probably noticed how sad and worried sick you were since she pressed her hand on your shoulder before taking her place back next to the President to explain the content of the documents on the table. “An informer from the BSAA has recently sent us information concerning a possible …”
All of a sudden, the door of the meeting room opened widely, interrupting Hunnigan in her explanations. Leon had finally arrived. Seeing him instantly took a weight off your mind and you sighed, definitely relieved. But the relief was short. “Sorry, I’m late.” His voice sounded off and rather somnolent. Hand still on the doorknob he looked at all of the persons around the table with half-lidded eyes. “Oh, seems like everyone is here. Must be a pretty damn important meeting then.” Oh no. Not now. Not here. Leon. “Agent Kennedy. Thank you for finally honouring us with your presence.” The president declared with a cutting tone that cast a new chill in the meeting room. “You’re welcome” Leon replied, definitely too drowsy to get the sarcasm. You almost gasped, refusing to believe it was actually happening, and watched Leon stagger towards his usual seat next to Hunnigan. She silently gave him a file and discreetly poured him a glass of water to help him sober up a little since she had noticed – just like everyone else in this room – that your ex-boyfriend was mighty drunk. Then, she resumed her monologue, ignoring Leon’s grimace as he drank his water contrary to the President, who was glaring at him, and you, who were staring at his face, completely eating up by guilt and sorrow. Were you the one responsible for this? You thought that leaving him would probably help him realise his alcoholism not fall deeper in it.
Despite the huge level of alcohol running in his blood, Leon was astonishingly listening to the reunion with the biggest care. Actually, he was paying so much attention that when Ingrid Hunnigan pronounced his name and the words “Los Illuminados” in the same sentence he almost hit the roof. “This again? Seriously?” He cut her off, surprising everyone. “You want me to deal with that Spanish bullshit again? Is that what you’re going to say, Hunnigan? Like I haven’t done enough, already.” Ingrid suddenly didn’t know what to do with herself, shocked by Leon’s sudden anger towards her. He had never talked to her like that. That was not in his nature. “Leon, please just let her finish before...” You whispered to calm him down, hoping he would cooperate. “Excuse me. You’re talking to me? You? Really.” He sneered, clearly angry. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. After all, you haven’t been answering my calls since you dumped me.” You wanted to reply. But you knew that it would only aggravate the situation and make Leon angrier than he already was and the last thing you wanted was to make a scene or cause him more trouble.
“Is this a joke, Agent Kennedy?” The President growled and glared, definitely irritated by Leon’s behaviour. “No. The joke was your election, sir!” Oh God! Tell me he didn’t say that. There was a sudden heavy silence. Everyone exchanged some aghast quick looks as the President was staring at Leon, his face reddened by anger, ready to burst. “Get out of here, Agent Kennedy. You are furloughed.” But Leon didn’t move and, with an air of defiance, simply replied “Whom are you going to send on your suicide mission if you kick me out? I’m the only one who can do the job here and you fucking know it.” “Out! Out! Get out of here! I’ve had enough of you!” The President shouted, menacingly pointing his finger at Leon who remained still without batting an eyelid. “Leave this building now, Kennedy!” You decided to get up and grabbed Leon’s arm to lead him out. “Come on, Leon. You’re drunk. Let’s get you out to sober up a bit.” You said with an incredible calm but he refused to follow you “Of course I’m drunk. What else can I be? You left me. My job fucked me up. And I’m working with selfish assholes who clearly don’t care about that and want me to continue this fucking job till the day I die. So yeah, what else can I be if not drunk?”
“Gosh, if only I had known back then what the consequences of my actions would be, I would have never said those things or behaved like this. But regrets don’t matter. They don’t matter because it doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself I shouldn’t have done that, I know that there’s no turning back. I know that you will never come back. And I don’t blame you. I can’t blame you because the only person to blame here is me. And I don’t expect your forgiveness either. I know I don’t deserve it and how could you forgive me when even I can’t forgive myself? No, I expect nothing for you.”
3 weeks ago – In a bar somewhere in New York
He didn’t know her name and he was quite sure he hadn’t even asked before locking himself with her in the toilet. And truth to be told, he couldn’t care less. He didn’t need to know her name to take his pants down and he didn’t even need to hear a single word coming from a pretty mouth either. Actually, all he wanted that mouth of hers to do was to keep sucking him off right now. Yes, that’s all he wanted. Hand in her black hair, his head against the dirty wall, he was feeling dizzy with pleasure … and alcohol, especially alcohol. A routine he had grown even fonder of since he had been furloughed. “Yeah, right, suck that cock, you dirty slut.” How many glasses had he had since he entered that bar? Six? Eight? Meh, better not thinking about it right now. “That’s it.”
His cell phone suddenly vibrated on the floor, the blue light of the screen catching his weak attention. He managed to read “Hunnigan” and sighed. “What the hell does she want?” He mumbled, annoyed. “What did you say?” The girl asked but he chose not to answer and instead shove his cock back in her mouth. But the phone kept on buzzing on the grimy tiles and Leon couldn’t take his mind or his eyes off it, his professionalism getting the better of his drunken self. “Fuck” He cursed as he bent to grab the device, pushing the girl away from him, making her lose her balance and fall on her rear. “Better be important, Hunnigan.” He immediately said, annoyance tinting his drunken voice. “Leon.” Her voice was strangled and trembling. It didn’t take a genius to get she had been crying. And Leon knew that if Hunnigan was crying then something terrible had certainly happened. “Give me a second, Hunnigan.”
He quickly pulled his jeans back up and pushed the door of the toilet, leaving his brief conquest high and dry on the floor. “Where are you going?” She squealed but he didn’t listen. He got out of the bar to find a quiet place, phone still against his ear, listening to his partner sniff on the other side of the line. “Alright. What’s going on? Do you need anything?” He was worried. Maybe something had happened to her. “No” She said, her voice shuddering even more than before. “Where are you? Are you alone?” She asked. “Yeah. I’m outside a bar, in New York. Why?” He dared ask, impatient yet apprehensive to know what was actually going on. “Sit” He frowned and froze. That didn’t sound good. Nothing is ever good when someone tells you to sit down. “Hunnigan.” “ Y/N is dead.”
It was as if someone heavy and massive had instantly dropped on him, as if something had punched his stomach and crushed his chest in a single move, preventing him from breathing, preventing his heart from beating, preventing all his members from moving. That was not possible. This couldn’t be happening. This was a dream, a nightmare or a perhaps hallucination cast by alcohol. But as soon as Leon heard Hunnigan saying his name again, he knew this was too real for this to be the mere fruit of his imagination or his subconscious. “How?” It was the only word that he managed to say, feeling too numb to make a complete sentence right now. “Leon that wasn’t your fault.” “How?” He insisted. He wanted to know. He needed to know. He needed to know why you would never come back to him, why he would never see you again, kiss you again. But foremost, he needed to know who was the son of a bitch responsible for it. “ In a mission in Spain.”
His phone immediately fell to the humid ground, breaking in a thousand pieces just like Leon’s whole body. His knees bent under the sudden weight of pain, anger and guilt and soon he collapsed to the sidewalk, completely appalled, tears flooding his blue eyes.
He had done this. It was his fault. All his fault.
Disoriented and panting, he started looking all around him for something, anything that could help him get out of this hell. But there was nothing and he was alone. He would forever be alone now.
He had killed you. You were dead because of him.
Leon screamed, face reddened by rage, angry tears flowing down his face. His fists hit the ground repeatedly, hard, so hard, his knuckles started bleeding. But he didn’t care. He didn’t even see it. He couldn’t feel that pain either. The only pain he could feel right now was the one from his heart being torn out from his chest, a pain that would ultimately leave an emptiness he would never be able to fill ever again. But he wanted to feel pain. He wanted to feel that precise pain, finding it a fitting punishment for everything he had done that had lead to this moment, that had led to your death.
Was it God punishing him? Was his mother right all along? Was He making him pay for what the pain he had brought you, for all the mistakes he had done, for choosing to worship a fucking bottle of whisky instead of Him? Was it his plan all along?
“IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED?” Leon shouted on his knees, looking at the menacing stormy sky.
He bent over the sidewalk, head in his arms, sobbing and sniffing loudly, moaning your name, begging you to come back. “Please don’t leave me here.” But just like God, when Leon was a little boy praying with his mother at the Sunday mass, you didn’t answer. “I’m sorry.” He had never wanted this to happen to you. He had never wanted your life to end like this. All he had ever wanted for you was your happiness even if it meant a long and beautiful life without him. Because if a bottle of whisky smashed against the wall had made him realise one thing is that you deserved to find the person that could love you better than him, a person to worship you just as his mother worshipped God and he worshipped his liquor. Because you were the only thing worth worshipping in this goddamn world, the only thing he would gladly believe in. Because, if religion was meant to bring comfort, if God was truly there to watch over him, judge him and punish him as his mother had told him then you were his God all along. After all, who if not you brought him the comfort when he needed it? Who if not you watched over him when he was in a very bad way? Who if not you judged him when he needed to be judged and no one dared to do it? Who if not you can make him fall on his knees like a pilgrim and wish for a paradise just to have the hope he would one day see you again?
He stayed on that sidewalk for at least an hour on that night, still and quiet, completely empty, feeling the rain pour on him, until two policemen sent by Hunnigan went to look for him. “Are you okay, sir?” No, no he was not. And he wasn’t even sure he would be okay ever again. But he eventually got better.
“ I haven’t had a single drink in three weeks. Hunnigan says that I should feel proud but I don’t. Because look what I needed to quit.”
Leon looked at the flowered marble tomb at his feet, staring at your name with an intense sadness and melancholy he would never be able to get rid of. He had taken him a while to come here, refusing to step a foot in this cemetery even for you funeral because that would be admitting your death and he couldn’t do that. But that he was here, he couldn’t help but acknowledge how cathartic talking to you was.
“ I’m leaving for Spain tomorrow. President’s order. I guess that despite being a complete asshole he is not very resentful. I have no idea what’s expecting me there but I promise you, I’ll find whoever is responsible your death and I’ll make them pay. They will learn they shouldn’t have done that.”
#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#fanfic#resident evil#resident evil vendetta
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2020 writing evaluation
thank you so much for the tag @allwaswell16 !!! these are always so much fun to read other people’s and to look back on my own! :) I did one similar to this but not quite, so I'm going to go ahead and do this tag as well! happy new year!
--
1. number of stories posted this year: 22
2. total word count for this year: 517,711
3. list of works published this year:
look after you series
like it’s a game
make this feel like home
let me carry your weight
give me love
baby blue
somewhere in between
you know what they say
until this blood runs cold
sunflowers, sunshine, and you
your biggest fan
tall stories on the page
smoke between your teeth
eyes off you
the way this river runs
golden slumbers fill your eyes
living for your every move
makeup drawer
sugary sweet
can you keep me close, can you love me most?
make my wish come true
4. work you are most proud of (and why):
oh gosh, I think my first fic will always be my baby, but from this year alone probably my most recent one, smoke between your teeth ! maybe because it’s just fresh on my mind still, but I loved writing these specific characterizations and the prompt was just the right amount of angst x fluff x smut and a bit of humor!
5. work you are least proud of (and why):
xx
6. a favorite excerpt of your writing from this year:
from the way this river runs --
“ It’d be so easy to just open his mouth and plead with Harry, to scream I’m sorry until his voice disappears, but he can’t. Be it his pride or his ego or his insecurities, he just can’t do it. The worst part is that he knows Harry would probably forgive him.
But Louis doesn’t want phony forgiveness. He doesn’t want Harry’s soothing words and pity embrace, thinks he might just break altogether if he was offered them. He feels like he’s made of glass recently and it’s to the point where he kind of wants to tip over the edge, just to see if he’d shatter. Just to see who’d be there to pick up the pieces if he did.
Maybe shattering isn’t negative, he muses. Maybe it’s a new beginning instead of the heavy weight of mourning. Maybe it’s something that needs to happen before he can move on.
He hugs Harry tighter but keeps his eyes wide open. Maybe, if Louis plays his cards right, he can pull this off. “
7. share or describe a favorite comment you received:
honestly receiving any comment or feedback on my work absolutely makes my day!!!! I don’t think I can pick just one because it’s such a personal thing, and everyone expresses their gratitude in different ways -- I can’t thank anyone who’s ever commented on my writing enough for their kind words.
8. a time when writing was really, really hard:
probably recently! I struggle a lot with my mood during the holidays and general motivation, so it’s just a matter of pushing through or deciding to take a break! there were several documents or scenes that I wrote that were all deleted and eventually I just had to force myself to take a step back and wait until I was inspired again. I'm still struggling with this to be honest, but some of the ideas I have for the new year are keeping me very excited!!!!! I'm hoping for many good things to come :))))
9. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
hmm maybe H’s character in you know what they say ! I'm not usually a super big fan of the trope in that fic but I gave it a shot and I ended up really liking it!!! the idea was random and I wrote it all in one day when I was off work/college and I was really surprised with myself!! I loved writing a more nerdy!H and I think I'll definitely try to write more of it in the future!
10. how you grew as a writer this year:
oh gosh, a lot of ways! when I first started writing at the end of last year I was very private. I didn’t have my work beta��ed and I stayed off of social media except for making fic posts and answering the occasional comment! I met some lovely people this year and they really helped me come out of my shell and feel welcome in this little community <3 I feel like I'm more confident, and I came out of it with so many more lovely friends as well!
11. how do you hope to grow next year?:
I really want to keep my rule of writing for myself first. I feel like I pushed myself a little too hard to get fics out before I was ready this year, and I'd like to go back to spending months on a fic and making it longer and making sure it’s perfectly up to my standards before I publish, and that I'm writing things that I, myself would read, and not just catering to what I think people want.
12. who was your greatest positive influence as a writer this year?:
oh gosh, I can’t name everyone here but to name a few -- @falsegoodnight @cheershalo @behisoneandonly @yvesaintlourent @cowboyharrystan @tomlinvelvetfics and lovely chelsea too, among so many others. if we’ve interacted at all this year, consider yourself tagged!
13. did anything from real life show up in your writing this year?
I think in some ways it always does, even if subconsciously! writing tends to be my outlet so if I'm stressed or anxious or anything really, I channel it into whatever I'm working on at the time. not direct events, but the emotions always end up in there!
14. any new wisdom you can share with other writers?:
ahh just to go for it I think! there will always be people that will criticize or belittle, but if you’re creating things that you like and you’re happy, work on being strong enough to only care about that. it’s definitely a process, but it’s so much more gratifying that way!!!!!
15. projects you’re looking forward to next year:
everything on my wip page, and some other secret projects as well ;)
16. tag three other writers:
anyone who would like to do this!!!! I feel like I've tagged the same people over and over again, so if you see this on your dash, please take it as a sign and say that I tagged you!!!! I would love to see everyone’s answers! :)
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Yandere! Ignis Scientia- No One Can Keep Me Away (Part 1)
So I’m feeling pissed off and like i want to push someone off a bridge/ jump off a bridge onto some spikes because my life is going in a downward spiral and I’m losing control of everything....so here some more yandere stuff.
This is a long one folks...buckle up.
Plus Ignis is bae.....fuck y’all mean, this one gets a little steamy so if that isn’t your thing thennnn you gotta go. I’m super proud of this and I haven’t felt that way about an entry in a long time so I hope those of you who choose to read this all the way through like it as well!
Leggo!
....
The smell of blood and leftover cologne filled the room. Dried blood decorated the hotel room walls which contrasted it’s pristine white and gold decorated paint. What a shame.
The silent cries almost echoed throughout the room, pleas almost. “W-why are you doing this?”
A man silently paced back and forth, his leather shoes padding against the wooden floors. He was tall and confident. Then again, who would expect someone like that to not be? The stranger pushed his spectacles up higher on his nose bridge, letting out a single huff followed by a simple. “Hm, and why wouldn’t I? Tis the better question here, wouldn’t you say?”
The man slammed his foot down onto the stranger’s face, colliding with their nose. A louder cry echoed throughout the room, making him smirk at his damage. Good.
“See where foolish questions get you?” he asked, shaking his hands. “It’s a shame I have to get my hands so bloody, but you’ve tested my patience enough.”
“I never d-did anything to you!” his opponent cried. “I don’t even know you.”
“Ah, ah , ah.” the man cooed. “What did I say about your tone!” he barked, slamming his foot down on the already beat up stranger. “Even vermin such as yourself should know about manners...how tragic. Now I will say this again. If you admit your wrong-doings, then you won’t suffer too much.”
“I don’t even know who this girl is that you’re talkin’ about man! I don’t know no Y/N girl!”
“Ah...But you do. You’ve been causing quite a bit of trouble-”
“I ain’t cause no damn trouble!”
SLASH!
“Like I said....Manners.”
...
Today was like many others. You were doing your dues as “that girl who liked to bring flowers to people for no reason.” Sure, it didn’t really reward you with any currency, but it was nice to see people’s faces brighten up. Even if you did see them every other day.
You were walking up the road, humming to yourself. You were on your way into town, Lestallum where you usually frequent. You would drop flowers off by all the best spots and doing some shopping of your own. You didn’t live far, just enough to either bike or walk.
“Flowers, check. Sweets, Check...giant monster charging for m- Giant monster!?!” You had to do a double take as you looked up to meet the eyes of what looked like a giant beast with horns. You were basically on the road when you felt the ground shake, then suddenly some crazy animal was charging right for you
Your first instinct was to jump back in a fright.
“Oh my gosh!” You tried to heave yourself back from the monster- whatever it was. “Not exactly what I expected to run into this morning.” you prepared yourself for the worst.
Now, you knew how to fight...you just didn’t like doing it. Your dual silver daggers were hidden at the bottom of your flower basket, you couldn’t reach them in time. Unless this thing was super allergic to flowers, you’d be kind of screwed. The horned beast raised one of its clawed fists and slammed with down in front of you.
You screamed and jumped back, watching it sort of rumbled through your flowers, stepping on every single one.
Now would have been a good time to run-
“HEY YOU! GET DOWN!” you turned around to find a group of guys charging straight for you, or at least the monster. One of them, a blonde drew a gun which enough to make you drop instantly.
“Why does this always happen to me?” you groaned as you covered your ears. You could feel them all jump over you (quite literally). “Can I have a normal day just once?” you groaned. You heard noises for a few seconds before there was nothing but complete silence. “Is it safe to peek now!?” you called.
“Allow me...” you heard a voice in front of you. The first thing you saw upon opening your eyes was another pair of emerald like eyes. That, and a hand outstretched towards you. They seemed cold and almost distant. You must have been staring because a strange look appeared on his face. “Are you going to take my hand or stare at it as if you’ve never seen one before?”
“On second thought I think I can get up myself.” You scoffed, standing to your feet. “...Ugh are you kidding me?!?!” you snapped.
“What?!” a black haired boy had asked, almost looking annoyed.
“ That little rat with horns ruined my flowers!” You sighed, picking up the wilted remnants of all your hard work, somehow he had also managed to dinge up and break your silver daggers. One was completely snapped at the blade and the other was too wilted and worn to even use. “....Oh no.” you felt your heart snap in two.
“You were almost killed, and you’re worried about a few weeds.” the biggest and tallest one concluded. “Geez lady, you need to get your priorities straight.”
“Well I was supposed to take this into Lestallum to deliver them, but since you know everything about my priorities, why don’t I stand here and let you enlighten me.” you crossed your arms. “And I have a name, it’s definitely not Lady!”
The man in glasses hadn’t said a word since you had began speaking. He just studied you. As you went back and forth with those other three men-children. You stature, something about it. The way you weren’t afraid to walk back to men that seemed so much more bigger and intimidating than you despite only having flower stems to defend yourself. Maybe it was bravery, maybe stupidity. He admired it nonetheless.
“Great.” you sighed, throwing the remnants of your broken weapons into the basket. “Now what?”
You still had to go to Lestallum, it would just be less of a favorable visit.
“Hm.” Ignis finally voiced his thoughts aloud. “I think I’ve seen you before.” he commented.
Of course he has, he had seen you around for days now. His eyes would follow you as you skipped through town, giving assorted flowers to every clerk, restaurant owner and shopkeep you saw. It was purely “coincidental” he had just so happen to figure out a “short cut” when he saw you get on your bike to go home one night.
But that would have been silly, it was technically your first time seeing him.
“You probably have if you visit Lestallum often...but” you raised an eyebrow. “I would remember seeing a bunch of guys in...weird clothes though. Not that you’re outfits are weird, it’s just...a lot a black for such a sunny place.”
“It’s my style.” The angsty raven-haired boy grumbled.
“I’m sure it is.” you crossed your arms. “I suppose I owe you a thank you for saving my life.” you sighed, beginning to dig to the bottom of your little basket. “I hope I wrapped them up- Aha!” You pulled out a container of muffins. “It’s not Gil, or anything valuable but consider it a token of gratitude.” you held out the container towards him. When he didn’t take it, the blonde one did. At least that beat hadn’t messed with the baked goods you spent hours on, so it was still a victory.
“Gee thanks! I like you already!” He laughed, cracking open the lid. “Muffins! Sweet! What’s your name anyways?”
“...Y/N....” you replied. “Y/N L/N of (Insert city here...any city).”
“Nice. I’m Prompto. This cranky guy here is Noctis. The big, scary muscle head is Gladiolus-”
“You can call me Gladio.” his gruff voice cut Prompto off. “It’s easier for some people.”
“Right! Hehe and Specs right here is Ignis!” he finally finished, motioning to the guy who had so rudely commented on your staring.
“Nice to meet you...I suppose.” you stared down at your feet.
“Likewise.” something about the way he spoke interested you. Where was he from?
“Hey, You said you were going to Lestallum, right? We are too! Why don’t we give you a ride?” Prompto suggested.
“Hey! Why would you offer a ride to a stranger! She could be dangerous!” That Noctis guy snapped.
“I mean...I don’t have any weapons or magic. What am I gonna do other than throw flower petals at you.” you asked. Yeah it wouldn’t hurt, but it would be extremely annoying. “...And muffins, I don’t use baked goods for evil.”
“Hm, it does seem like a long walk all the way from here.” Ignis jumped in. “Maybe for your safety, we should. I read somewhere than there will be a spike in beats lurking around. I’m afraid that this is only the first wave.”
Of course, he’d be more than happy to make short work of whatever mindless creatures were dumb enough to roam during the day. He just couldn’t tell you that.
“Fine, but I’m driving.” Noctis concluded. “Hope you don’t mind the back seat.”
“Thank you, really.” you grabbed your basket. You looked inside to make sure the other containers were in there when something caught your eye. A red rose, a perfectly untouched one. How did it get there? It wasn’t before. You didn’t pick roses that often, let alone full bloomed ones like these. You felt lucky though.
“Are you comin’?” Gladiolus got your attention. You noticed them walking towards a black car.
“Oh, yes. Of course.” you shook off your confusion.
“May I carry your basket?” Ignis offered, holding out his gloved hand.
“Oh...sure.” you trailed off. It was only now that you had managed to get a good look at his face. “H-here.” Oh yes, He was handsome alright.
“Hm, then off we go then?” a slight smirk found its way to his lips. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you it was rude to stare?”
“Huh?” you raised an eyebrow. You had only realized you were looking too hard....again. “Sorry.” You mumbled, walking past him.
Hopefully this ride to Lestallum wouldn’t be too much longer.
...
“Uh...Did you just take a picture of me?” you heard a click and flash go off. You looked up from your hands at Prompto who had a camera in his hands.
“Yep! I like to make memories.” he shrugged. “Wait! I got it! Ignis! Get a little closer to Y/N!”
Wait what!?
“Er...Is that really necessary?” you asked, feeling your heart rate pick up a little. “Isn’t one enough?”
“Prompto likes grabbing snaps of everything. It’s better to not question it.” Gladio laughed.
“Come on, get closer you two!” Prompto urged. “This shot will be perfect, I can just feel it!”
“Really now.” Ignis sighed with an annoyed look on his face. Feeling a little iffy yourself, you turned to look at Ignis, ready to say something when your eyes met again. Your face immediately softened. Not because you forgot what you were gonna say, but because you were just now made aware of how close you both really were.
“That chemistry.” Prompto mumbled to himself, clicking away at his camera. “You guys almost look like a couple!”
“I’ll forget you said that.” You mumbled.
Ignis watched as you turned your head away to look down at your hands again. He though aimlessly to himself. You were much more shy now than ever. He always assumed you to be more talkative and outspoken when confronted with something like this.
“Now this is a photo.” Prompto showed your what was on the camera screen. Even with the wind blowing your hair in all different directions, the shot still managed to capture you and Ignis’s little staredown. You noticed his jaw seemed to be clenched, but why?
“WOAH!” Prompto outburst again.
‘What now?!” Gladio grunted, slamming whatever book he had been reading shut.
“These muffins are amazing!!” Prompto spoke, with his mouth full. “You gotta try these!”
“Fine, hand em’ over.” Gladiolus sighed as Prompto basically stood on his knees in his seat. “Hm...For once you aren’t wrong about something, these aren’t bad.”
“Ignis, I think you’ve met your match!” Prompto laughed. “Iggy here loves to cook, he gets cranky whenever we like someone’s cooking other than his.”
“I do not!, It’s just that your tastes are abysmal is all!” he turned his nose away. “No offense but they can’t be that amazing.” he huffed. Ignis snatched the muffin that Prompto had been sticking in his face for a while now.
Of course he had to stay in character, the way your face scrunched up hearing his talk didn’t make him happy, but he had to keep up appearances for what he was known for.
“Take your time.” You mumbled turning away. You stared into your basket, glaring at your broken daggers. You knew they couldn’t be fixed, so you’d have no choice but to trash them. Shame.
“I dare say I could make this at camp!” he said, taking you by surprise.
“Huh?!” You were surprised at his words. Plus his outburst had scared you a bit.
“Would you be opposed to sharing your recipe with me?”
“Oh..Um sure. Do you have a pen I can borrow?” you raised an eyebrow, sort of weirded out that he had asked for it so abruptly. It was just a simple recipe, nothing too special.
As you scribbled from memory on a little card, you realized how eerily quiet it had gotten in the car. When you looked up, you noticed everyone (excluding Noctis who was driving) was staring right at you. “What?” You had just now noticed your jacket sleeve had fallen down. Without missing a beat you pulled it back up. “...Fighting gets messy Y’know?”
You knew exactly what they were staring at.
...
“Thank you so much, it means a lot.” you climbed out of the car, stretching your limbs. The air in Lestallum was so much different from your town, it was more open and airy. It was kind of the reason you came everyday. You always found something new.
“Sure I guess. If Prompto likes ya, you can’t be that bad.” Noctis grumbled.
“I knew you’d come around.” you said jokingly. “May we cross paths again!” you saluted to the four men who had helped you so graciously.
“Likewise.” Gladio grunted. You waved again before turning to run off.
“Y/N! Wait!” You turned again to find Ignis running up to you.
“Yes?” you tilted your head to the side cutely.
“Um, may I ask about your weapons?” he suddenly asked, making you frown a little.”I couldn’t help but notice you seemed quite upset whenever you look at them.”
“Stupid beast broke them.” you shook your head. “I’ll just trash them.”
“Are they of importance to you?”
“Well yeah...it does seem a shame to throw them out...why don’t you take them?” you suggested.
“Me?” Ignis seemed surprised. “Why?”
“The handles are probably worth something, you could sell them for some Gil, I know someone would love to melt them down and make new weapons.” You took out to dual weapons. “If you don’t need them, feel free to throw them out. I just don’t want to look at them anymore, it would just-....nevermind.”
Ignis’s face fell, he could tell you were saddened by the loss of your weapons, they were probably more important than you think.
“Also...as a thank you.” you took out the single red rose that seemed to have survived that whole messed up episode. “It’s not much but...here.”
“Thank you Y/N. I’ll be sure to treasure it for a long time” he smiled. He was telling the truth too. Something like this, from you. After all this time after finally noticing him. “I bid you a safe farewell.”
“You as well.” you nodded respectfully before running off.
...
To say you crossed paths with these four men too many times to count was a complete understatement of words. It seemed as if every single day you had managed to run into one, two, or all four of them.
It was strange seeing Prompto carrying a huge bag of Chocobo feed up the road, sure. It was even stranger seeing Noctis and Gladio ‘scoping out’ a local diner and just so happen to run into you. The funny part was you knew they were spying, but they wanted to pretend they weren’t. You had seen Ignis near a waterfall once, but he didn’t seem to notice you.
Pretty soon you found yourself just being in the same places they were. From Lestallum, to literally anywhere. It was almost like somehow a fate would bring your together. You never questioned it.
It was another day, same any any. You had just left a vendor after delivering some pink and white flowers to the clerk. You waved off, relishing in the sight of his smiling face.
You were quite literally skipping down the stone path. It was about to be dark soon. Luckily you had prepared since you knew you were going to be out all day. It seemed as if luck wasn’t really on your side. You kept going through mishaps or something. It didn’t help that you began feeling like these mishaps were connected to those four...somehow. But that would be crazy, wouldn’t it?
...
“That will be 400 gil.”
“Here you go.” you smiled at the man behind the counter.
“Hey! it’s you!”
You turned towards the door, seeing Prompto jog inside. “Um Yes, it’s me! Hello.”
“Hey. Fancy seein’ you here.” Gladio followed.
“Not really. I see you guys everywhere.” you scoffed, shaking your head.
“And not a moment too soon. We’re right on schedule, aren’t we?” you heard Ignis walk in.
“I suppose.”
Call it shameless flirting, but there was some sort of rift between you and Ignis. Even the smallest of small-talk always left you feeling like you had some sort of unfinished business.
“Here’s your key mam’.” The man behind the desk caught your attention.
“Ah, thank you! And if you four don’t feel like being locked in a room trying not to kill each other, feel free to pay me a visit.” you picked your woven basket off the floor.
“Y/N, I’d be careful with that type of invitation, you never know who might take such advice a little too close to heart.” you could hear Ignis from behind as you began ascending the staircase to find your room.
“I can take care of myself. Plus my endeavors thrive on invitations...I wouldn’t forget that if I were you.” you said without turning around.
....
After a long awaited and deserved shower, you sat in front of a mirror with dripping wet hair looking like some crazy creature from a horror movie. You had made sure to put a ‘knock first’ sign outside the door just incase. You stared back at your reflection. “UgH!” you snapped, resting your head in your hands.
It was only then, that you heard a knock at the door, followed by a “Excuse me, Y/N...is everything alright in there? I would ask if I could enter but if I’m not mistaken-”
“You can come in Ignis.” You laughed to yourself, trying to squeeze the water out of your hair. You were in a bathrobe anyways, it’s not like it would look weird.
Ignis peeked inside the door and saw you running your hands through your soaking wet hair. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize...”
“It’s fine, did you need something?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I just came to thank you for your recipe. I realize I didn’t thank you then.”” He spoke, looking everywhere but you.
“No worries, Ignis. Anytime.”
“Of course...Y/N...Did you always have that scar on your shoulder?” You turned around in confusion and followed Ignis’s eyes, which just so happened to be pointed at your left shoulder. You had looked where your bathrobe had fallen to see what was left of a deep scar that started at your heart and ended behind your shoulder.
“...Yeah, got it in a fight.” you waved it off. “No big deal.” It was completely healed now, but the mark it left was still visible. You pulled the robe sleeve onto your shoulder. “It was a long time ago.”
“It is indeed a ‘big deal’ Y/N...How did you obtain such a bruise and with whom?!” he walked up to you, seeming to ignore the fact that you were merely in a bathrobe and nothing else except undergarments.
“Why does it matter?”
“Something like that could have been fatal.”
“But it wasn’t.” You winked knowingly. “I’m still here aren’t I?” you sighed. “Anyways the girl who did this to me doesn’t even know if I’m alive or not, I’d prefer to keep it that way, It keeps me from thinking about what would happen if we did meet face to face again..”
“All the more reason to know.” Ignis turned you around in your seat and grabbed your shoulders. “I need you to tell me.”
You stared back into his eyes, reading nothing but seriousness and urgency. He was dead serious. “Why do you want to know so bad?”
“So I may protect you if it happens again.”
“....Her name is Sennen...We got into a huge argument a few years back and when I wasn’t looking she threw her sword at me.”You confessed. “Slashed right across my heart and left me for dead.”
You ended up waking next to a running river with bandages all over you and your father worried sick. You never told him Sennen was responsible, and you didn’t plan on it either.
Hearing your story caused Ignis to clench his fists. How dare anyone ever THINK of-
“She took something from me too.” you sighed. It was your prized possession, something that was once of a kind that no one else had. She had taken it from you. In her own words. ‘You certainly have no use for it anymore, think of it as a parting gift.’
“What did she take?” he asked, his face softening.
“It’s just...something that helped me fight a little better. It’s been so long I can probably fight without it, but my father gave it to me...it’s important y’know.” You shrugged, standing up. “Was that all you wanted? To almost see me undressed and ask me about my past?”
“Well...why do you give flowers to people? I never asked.” Ignis raised an eyebrow curiously.
“It makes me happy to make others happy.” you simply put it. “No other reason.” You crossed your arms. “If you can’t put a smile on someone’s faces, then what can you do.” you shrugged.
“Well...You certainly are doing an impeccable job. You always seem to put a grin on my face.” he chuckled. You crossed your arms, shaking your head.
“You’re just saying that.” you denied.
“Actually...I mean it. I mean every word of what I say, Y/N...remember that for me, won’t you? Hm, I’ve almost forgotten! I’ve also came to return these to you.”
You noticed there was a box by Ignis’s feet.
“Return?” You asked in confusion. “I don’t underst-”
“Open it.” he handed you the box. The outside was engraved and carved with some sort of design. You flipped the tiny latch and opened the box. You could almost gasp as you saw two glimmering silver daggers staring back at you. The more you stared, the more familiar they looked. Wait....were these your old ones?
“Magnificent aren’t they?”
You looked up, more shocked than confused now.
“Ignis-...Did you do this? I said they were beyond repair.” you were taken aback. “I’m...-”
“When one has connections like I do, anything is possible, Y/N.” he smirked knowingly. He had been proud of his handy work and seeing the look on your face stroked his ego even more. “Plus, I figure if these are your only means of defense, you might as well fight with style as I always say.” he watched your eyes gaze and sweep across the perimeter of the mirror-like blades. The handles, which used to be bronze were brushed with some sort of gold etching that was followed by a single ruby gem at the end of each one.
“Ignis, Why did you do this?” you found yourself confused.
“You mentioned you’ve been through a lot with just these weapons...and I figured that it would be a shame for you to part ways with them so soon.”
You slowly closed the box and latch and set it gently on the floor at the end of the bed.
“I don’t know what to say...t-thank you.”
“Consider it a token of gratitude.” he smirked.
“How?”
“My lips are sealed.” he again in that tone that only stroked his ego even more.
It was only now that you realize how close Ignis had gotten to you. You took his his smell. It was unfamiliar yet...inviting.
“Ignis?” you looked up at him. If his glasses weren’t in the way, you might have felt like your soul was being ripped out.
“Hm, Yes?”
“Um...You’re standing really close.” you stammered over your words.
“I’m aware.” he chuckled. “Is that a problem?”
“Um...no actually.” You whispered. “It’s just...is it normal for my heart to be racing like this?”
“I’m not sure, but if it’s any consolation, my heart hasn’t stopped racing yet.”
“...Cool.” you breathed. (This is where I get too in my feelings. Steamy shit ahead fam!)
Ignis ended up making the first move, twisting a handful of your hair in his fist before crashing his mouth over yours. He could barely hold himself back anymore, he had waited long enough. A loud groan had erupted from his throat sending vibrations all throughout your body.
You had almost fallen back from the impact. That and the fact that your feet almost collapsed. You had grabbed onto his jacket in time as your returned his affections, moving your lips against his in mixed harmonies.
“See what happens when people take heed to your invites, naughty little girl.” Ignis fake-scolded you, beginning to trail his lips down your jawline and neck. “Look where we are now.” he grunted. “What do you intend to do now?” he growled. While his voice was low and urgent with hints of demand lacing his every word, they way his fingers drew and traced circles on your bare upper thigh had you seeing two totally different sides of this man at once. He had gripped the hem of your bathrobe in his fist, slowly but surely pulling it down.
As soon as the faded scar was visible, there was a moment where he kissed your shoulder gingerly. He waited....He waited for you to say something, our push him away in a haste or in fear that someone could show up any minute. You simply melted into his arms. He smiled to himself seeing the goosebumps rise on your skin. A reaction he himself caused.
You saw Ignis furiously kick off his shoes before hoisting you up. As if second nature, you wrapped your legs around his torso. Ignis crashed his hot mouth over yours again, this time being less calculated in his movements. In the process, he had managed to free himself of his jacket and shirt.
You landed on the bed with a thud, staring up at Ignis. Your robe was long gone and it left you in merely your undergarments. You were positive you didn’t look too attractive in a bra with little bats on them, however Ignis didn’t seem to care.
“I hope you don’t mind my haste...but I fear someone may come up and wonder what we’re up to.”
You looked up again and had noticed that Ignis had taken off his glasses. It gave you a view of his beautiful face. Your eyes bore into his emerald green irises. You weren’t sure if it was the blood pumping to your brain or your own mind deceiving you, but when you stared into his eyes...you could see something. Something strange.
“...Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?” He smirked. “Or do I have to take care of that problem too?”
Before you could answer, your eyes had traveled lower. His body. Was it even real? No, it couldn’t have been. His body was godly, a definite sight for sore eyes.
“Do you like what you see?” he caught your attention. It was only now that you noticed how painfully tight his jeans looked. “Because I very much am enjoying my own view.”
Ignis studied the rise and fall of your chest, it was almost as if he could hear your heart beating below the palms of his hands. This was all his doing, it made him feel even more selfish. He fumbled with his leather belt buckle, becoming impatient with himself.
He wanted- No, needed you, right now.
“Knowing those pests they’re probably eavesdropping as we speak, so you’ll have to be quiet, my love. Do you think you can do that?” he asked urgently. He grabbed the edge of your panties and yanked at it harshly, tearing it to shreds and leaving it as just a piece of cloth that flew somewhere on the floor.
“I d-don’t know.” you were in shock at Ignis’s movements, but still found yourself succumbing to his fingers. “It depends.”
That phrase alone made Ignis laugh as he yanked his pants down. You almost squeaked in shock seeing his member free of it’s restraint. “Holy sh-” you slapped a hand over your mouth.
“Hm, are you impressed?” he smirked again. “Are you ready for me?”
It was like the sound echoed through the room, teasing your ears and mocking your brain.
You buried your head into Ignis’s neck and ran your hands through his hair. You had to be quiet, you had to be-
A gasp ripped through your throat and Ignis thrust into you. So much for being quiet. Your legs had hooked around his torso as if it was second nature. It felt right, like this was how it’s meant to be.
“I-Ignis.” you gasped. “If you do that, I don’t think I can be...q-qui-et.” you whimpered, feeling his thrusts again and again.
“Y-Y/N!” Ignis groaned right into your ear. “You’re mine, all mine, do you hear me?”
Ignis found his resolve to be gentle wearing thin. He pinned your arms above your head and growled with a low predatory voice. “Look at me when I fuck you.” He thrust again, this time his strength had managed to move the entire bed. Who ever was passing by was surely listening in now.
You were embarrassed, you face heating up intently at such a demand. Of those you’ve been with, none of them compared to Ignis. Not even close. His eyes bore into yours. You found it impossible to look away for even a minute despite the rush of embarrassment rushing to your cheeks. You could feel tears sting your eyes at the intensity of Ignis burying himself deep within you
“Are you all mine?” you heard his whimper in your ear. “Tell me you’re all mine, Y/N. I want to hear it.”
“I-ignis?” You were surprised, but what else was new.
“Say yes...please?” his voice wavered unevenly. “I w-want to hear you say it before we come undone.”
“Y-yes.” you mewled. “Yours, all yours Iggy...”
“F-F-FUCK!” you heard him growl out loud. He balled his fists on either side of your head, his arms shaking. Ignis’s knuckled were turning white with how tightly he clenched the crisp sheets in his hands. No, he couldn’t go completely crazy with you yet, he wouldn’t. “Y/N...” he whispered lowly.
You could feel that cord like sensation right at the bottom of your stomach, it was ready to snap, you could tell. More importantly, Ignis could too. From the way he began moving faster and faster. He slammed his lips over yours again, shoving his tongue through your the gap in your lips to invade your mouth. This time it was your turn to get loud.
Ignis swallowed your moans, your whimpers, and those half-words you struggled to get out. He could tell you were close to that edge.
He fully intended to shove you right off it.
“Y/N!” he grunted.
You were first, feeling your own walls throb and tighten so hard around Ignis’s member. The sound of running water made you blush even harder in embarrassment. It was definitely loud enough for him to hear. Ignis was next in pursuit. He yanked his cock right from you, the contents spilling out everywhere from the bedsheets, to your stomach, to even the floor.
Ignis gently hovered his lips over yours softly, wrapping his arms around you. “Shhh, you’re shaking, Y/N.” he chuckled. “Did it feel that good?”
You wordlessly nodded, unable to find the words. With another laugh, he kissed your forehead. “Allow me to stay a while longer?” Another wordless nod.
“That was completely out of my character.” Ignis exhaled as he collapsed right next to you. “But I don’t care, not anymore..”
You were still recovering from the shaking in your legs to even think. It was completely out of your character too...
“Just like I don’t care that those insolent pests have been listening in on us the entire time.” Ignis chucked.
“How did you-”
“I’ve known those three my entire life, I wouldn’t put it past them Y/N.” Ignis replied. “But enough about them, just lay here in my arms....”
“Oh...O-okay.”
“Y/N...you know what this means, correct?” Ignis draped a tired arm around your body, pulling you closer to his chest. You could feel the rise and fall of each breath as you laid across one of his broad shoulders.
“I’m pretty sure, yeah.” you sighed. You certainly didn’t expect this, but you didn’t hate it.
Little did you know that in Ignis’s brain, he was going absolutely crazy. He had underestimated just how much he had pictured your screaming and needy body below him. Something within his soul went ablaze, and it had been worth every second he spent watching you.
“So....tell me more about this...Sennen character.”
Without giving another thought to him, you began unraveling your past with your old foe. Little did you know, Ignis was taking notes in his mind.
....
#x reader#fanfic#character x reader#ffxv imagines#ffxv x reader#ffxv lemon#ffxv smut#ffxv scenarios#yandere x reader#yandere lemon#yandere smut#ignis x reader#ignis lemon#ignis smut#ignis scientia#ignis x reader lemon#yandere ignis scientia#yandere ignis#ffxv imagine#ffxv headcanons#reader insert#final fantasy x reader#omg im so sorry#yandere ignis x reader#Im a sinner
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Take A Picture - Yoo Kihyun
A/n: I first made the moodboard and then got inspired—— sorry if this is not good. I still wanted to share.
Genre: Sad but not angst
TW: accident
———————
“He’ll be attending.”
“He’ll be attending?! You sure?!”
“Yes. It’s his group’s shoot. And he’ll eventually have to pose for single shoots, too.”
“Gosh please let it be a nightmare!” You burry your face in your hands. It is definitely not going to be your week.
“Y/n, take it easy, okay?”
“It is easy to say since you’re not the one that-“
“Miss Y/n, can you please take a look at these takes please. I want you to choose a few.” Your boss asks.
“Yes, sir.”
He leaves the computer for you to choose the best pictures of that new solo artist that’ll be debuting this week. You manage to focus on the screen even though there are lots of memories clouding your mind and blurring your vision.
“Yes, I want y/n to take on Monsta X project. Yes, we won’t leave it to chance, some nice, prince-like vibes will do. Yes. Perfect for the comeback. Yes. Thank you.” You overhear your boss say it on the phone. He’s probably talking to a Starship staff. You curse your luck.
Why does it have to be you? Can’t you object? Will you really be okay, seeing him look at you like you’re someone he doesn’t know anything about. Even though he once carved every curve of your body, every inch of your hair, every little thought you have in his mind.
Will you really be okay, looking into his eyes that turned cold after that-
“Y/n, did you choose from the photos?”
“Yes, sir. These will do.” You give him a usb that contains the photos.
“Okay. Thank you. You’ll be handling Monsta X photoshoot starting from tomorrow. Do your best job, this is the biggest opportunity for our company, I trust you.” He squeezes your arm and leaves the room.
“Yeah..” you mumble.
Day goes by. Tomorrow comes. It is not how you expected it to be.
It is harder.
It is way harder to see the man you once called the love of your life remembering nothing about you now. Not even your name.
It is way harder seeing every other member come up to you to have a small talk but him staying out of any talks.
It is hard re-living that day after the accident.
That day, when he was on his car, driving to your place, apparently speeding because you called him crying. He was never able to keep his calm when you cry. You were his kryptonite. His weakest and strongest part. He was in a hurry. Because of you. He crashed his car, because of you. His car was found upside down, with him inside, covered in blood. It was because of you that he had to re-learn even the names of his own family members.
He met his members again. He got close to them again. Doctors were suspicious of him having his memory back but he never had. He just started all over again, it was because of you. The guilt ate one last piece of peace in your mind, and left you alone with your thoughts. Members insisted that you could try and re-introduce yourself to him, they were sure he would love you just as much again, but you could never be okay with it. You hurt him, more than everything else, more than anyone else. How could you stay in his life and look at his eyes as if nothing has changed? It felt disrespectful towards him. So you just left. He never got to meet you again. Until today.
There he is. Watching his friends come up and talk to you one by one. Still not a single spark in his eyes hinting that he remembers.
“Okay, let’s start now,guys.” You say, placing them one by one. “That pose is good for thee start. Let’s change our positions for the next photo.” You instruct.
An hour goes by. They all look tired. It’s time to start personal shoots now, anyways. So you just let them have a break.
“Okay, let’s start personal shoots after having a short break.”
They go to sit by the window. You turn back to the computer, trying to choose from the photos just to keep your mind busy. You still get lost in those brown eyes whenever you see them, even if it’s two dimensional.
“Hi.” A hesitant but very familiar voice pulls at your heart strings.
You turn your head quickly to the source. It’s like an instinct at this point.
“Oh, hi.” You answer, trying to avoid his eyes. Even when two dimensional, they were pretty hard to avoid. When three dimensional, it’s impossible.
“I.. um.. I heard things about you. And me.. I mean- us. About us.” He stutters.
“Ah- it’s nothing. Just forget about it please.” You try to avoid talking about that matter, still you can’t help but say “I mean, you already did. So let’s leave it there?”. You get up from your seat to leave the room, until you hear his voice.
“But I wanna remember.”
#kpop#kpop moodboards#kpop fics#monsta x#kpop scenarios#monsta x fic#monsta x angst#monsta x imagine#monsta x kihyun#yoo kihyun#kihyun fics#kihyun imagine#kihyun angst#kihyun fluff#tw: car accident#tw: car crash
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Lost Cause ~ Benny Weir
A/n: Something new to help me with writer’s block and to get something out there while I watch MBSAV to lighten my recent dark moods. Benny reminds me of Stiles and I’m loving it. Enjoy! Or don’t. I suppose I can’t tell you what to do.
Ps. Thus fic really is a part one but I’m in denial so we’ll pretend I finally succeeded in writing a one parter.
Warnings: Evil Benny. ‘Nough said. Also you have ADHD? And a stutter? I kind of had this really soft, super dorky character in mind and so I’m going with that... BYE!
MASTERLIST
My hands practically choked each other as I walked, my nerves eating at my edges and hyping me up in the worst way. It was enough that my ADHD already had me bouncing in my chair but now I couldn’t even sit down, my rapidly beating heart pumping more blood through my veins than normal. I closed my eyes, running a shaky hand through my hair as I turned, walking the way I’d just come from as I paced. “Benny,” I faux greeted no one, pretending he was in front of me. I shook my head, forcing a too wide smile and leaning back a bit, my hands shooting out in front of me so that my arms were completely straight. “Heyyyyyy Benny boy!” Immediately I cringed, my fake smile wiping off my face. “Benny. Ben Ben Benny.” I began to mumble his name over and over again, the syllables mixing as my voice grew quieter and quieter. I sighed, shaking my head. “Hopeless,” I snapped at myself.
“Ethan!” I jumped, spinning around at the sound of the familiar voice. He wasn’t coming towards me as he was too far away to even notice me, let alone be calling my name, but his voice was enough to make my throat close as my palms started sweating. I saw Benny and Ethan talking, Ethan leaning closer so they could lower their voices as his eyes scanned the halls. Whatever they were talking about, they didn’t want anyone to hear.
I looked at Benny, agonized. I couldn’t even hear his voice- I would have no hope being close to him and having his eyes on me. I slumped against my locker rather loudly. This was supposed to be the day. After three years of secretly crushing on one of the biggest nerds in the entire town, I was still too much of a loser to talk to him. Which was saying a lot because if I was being honest, Benny was ALSO a loser! Just... higher up the Loser food chain than me. I wasn’t as knowledgeable about things and preferred Star Wars over Star Trek. I liked both of them but apparently the two different nerddoms didn’t appreciate cross mixing. You picked a side. Whatever. Being a geek was complicated I guess.
That wasn’t the only thing that was complicated.
People were complicated too.
Was it too much to ask maybe? Maybe he wouldn’t even like me. Maybe it would be like some nerd version of Romeo and Juliet. I knocked my head back against my locker harder than I meant to as I rolled my eyes at myself. The impact didn’t hurt too much, but it did create more noise than I meant it too. I could t focus on that though - I was too frustrated with myself. I was overthinking again.
The noise drew Ethan’s eyes to me and our gazes locked. He froze, an eyebrow raising in confusion to see that I was looking at them before he had glanced over. My eyes shot wide and I turned abruptly, tripping over myself but regaining my footing just in time to skip around the corner and out of sight. I pressed against the wall, the air knocked out of my chest.
He’d seen me looking. Oh gosh. I’d been told my whole life that I was a ghost- everyone could see right through me. Both because my emotions were plain and simple and out there for everyone to understand and also because I blended in perfectly. I was the bottom of the bucket. Back of the pack. I was the loser that other losers called a loser. It was used to being completely unseen. Now all I could think about was that Ethan had seen me... had he seen more than that? Could he tell that I liked Benny? Did he care enough to notice me long enough to pick that up? Would he and Benny laugh about some dweeb having a crush on one of them? Or would they talk about the weirdo watching them?
Facepalming, I groaned. God I was SERIOUSLY such a lost cause.
-
“Hey there,” a far too sweet voice greeted. It was someone nearby but no one talked to me so I simply ignored it. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped, turning around. There stood Sarah of all people. She smiled and I swallowed. Why was she close to me? Looking at me? Talking to me? Oh gosh she was pretty.
Look I’ve had a crush on Benny for years- that doesn’t mean he’s the ONLY one that catches my attention. When a pretty girl is looking at you, a pretty girl is looking at you. “M-me?” I asked. The word came out like a sputtering engine starting on an old car- fast and choppy. I winced.
Sarah rose an eyebrow, obviously weirded out. Weirded out in the same way every normal, pretty girl was weirded out by a total mess of a person stuttering and stumbling and acting like a squirrel more than a person. I panicked a little. “Yeah, um, I just... wanted to ask if you were free this week? To hang out?” My eyes went wide and she tilted her head awkwardly. “Or maybe just have lunch?”
My mind went blank. It was no secret that she was friends with Benny and Ethan, though there seemed no reason for it since they were on opposite ends of the high school social scale. Still, it was fact, reason or not. If I sat with her I would most definitely run into Benny. YES! My brain was screaming at me so loud I almost listened. But then I thought, if I was near him, I would have every single chance to make a total fool of myself. “I’m sorry I can’t,” I answered, my heart sinking into my toes. There goes all my promises to get Benny on a date with me. The universe had aligned for some weird miracle to give me the chance to actually get close to Benny and I was turning it down.
I wasn’t just a mess or a loser. I was as coward too.
“But-“ Sarah began.
My energy drained and my self hate rising steadily, my shoulders sagged as I pushed by her. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled, totally bummed out that I couldn’t get ahold of myself.
What a complete lost cause.
-
I don’t know WHAT had gotten into me, but with a surge of confidence I had never in my life had, I approached Benny Weir and tapped him on the shoulder. He faced me, looking me up and down with a disgusted look on his face, and I felt a part of me die in utter humiliation and embarrassment. WHAT WAS I DOING?!
A bigger part of me though screamed, demanding I ask him before my sudden insanity ran out and I was back to square negative six. “Hi Benny,” I greeted fairly evenly. He rose an eyebrow. “M-muh-“ Crap. I took a deep breath. “My name ih-is Y/n. You probably d-don’t... probably don’t know me,” I forced out, my words moving too fast as I worried he wouldn’t be able to understand me. I closed my eyes, cringing at myself for a second. “Um.” I opened my eyes. “I j-just wanted to know ih-if you would... go... to the movies? W-with me?”
There was a pause and a smile curled onto his face. My blood began rushing in my ears and I wondered if he could hear my body having a breakdown from the inside out. “Are YOU asking ME out on a date?” He scoffed. I saw the look of burning amusement on his face.
He had a toothpick in his mouth and my eyes followed it briefly as he moved it from the right side of his mouth to the left side. “I am,” I managed, nodding as I forced myself to stand tall.
A split second’s pause. And then he was leaning against the wall behind him, bending forward a little as he busted up laughing. I took a step back, feeling like he’d just slapped me. When he stood straight again, his eyes were cruel and dark and he looked at me like I was a complete moron. Really, I was. How could I have expected anything else?
“You?” He sneered. “You think I would want to go on a date with YOU?” I flinched, taking another step back, and he pushed off the wall. “Not even I would stoop to such a level as YOU. I’m not that desperate.” A whimper came out of the back of my throat as I took another step back, but he took a step forward, following me. People were beginning to look over but his wickedly amused sneer never left his face. “I mean I know I’m not top of the food chain.” He smiled. “Yet.” Another step back from me, another step forward for him. “But you must be on something STRONG to think I’d stoop so low.” My entire body was aching and I began to curl into myself. My steps ran out as my back pressed to some random lockers but he didn’t stop walking until he was in my face, his breath hitting my neck as my eyes trained on my feet, my body shaking. “Am I supposed to know who you are? Do I know you?” He might as well have punched me in the gut. My eyes began watering. This was about to get worse. “Are you CRYING?” He hollered. Now everyone in the hall was looking. “Pathetic,” he snapped. Then he placed a kiss on the top of my head and I flinched away from it. “Present from me to you. For your troubles,” he muttered, enjoying how my cheeks flushed despite how much he was hurting me. “Don’t insult me again, Sweetheart.” Then he was gone.
Ignoring everyone else around me I slid to the ground right there in the hall, having absolutely no energy to move and run away to break down in private. It wasn’t a big deal. A few seconds after the scene ended and Benny left, people got distracted by this or that or looked away because they didn’t want to be driven to even want to help me. Once their eyes were off of me, so were their minds. I squished myself against the locker and cried in plain sight, but I might as well have been invisible. No one saw me. No one cared.
A ghost. I was a ghost. I might as well have not been there at all.
-
After Benny’s brutal turn down, I kept my head down. WAY down. Like middle of the Earth kind of down. Right past Hell and straight into the planet’s core. The only time I ever looked at Benny or any of his friends was when my eyes stumbled upon them while I was walking, in which I would immediately turn right around and book it the other direction.
This honestly seemed to get me more attention than trying to talk to them. One time Sarah held a door open for me and I squeaked and ran all the way back home and missed the entire school day. Another time I bumped into Erica after turning a corner and she wasn’t at all nasty, just surprised, but when she saw I was about to cry she seemed utterly speechless in the second before I blazed past her like the Devil himself was on my trail. Ethan turned to me in the one class we had together to ask what the teacher had said because he’d been side tracked and missed it and I’d raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom and then proceeded to run out of the room. The next time I came to class I sat at the opposite side of the class as him and it was obvious he had noticed, though I don’t know why. Another time Benny and I were next to each other in line and I left the line to go to the very back, keeping my head down and trying to even out my breathing again. I didn’t think he even noticed me.
Rory and I had actually talked to a few times, before my avoid-like-the-plague attitude toward Benny and anyone associated with him. Rory was the loser’s loser too and we often bounced off of each other. He brought out my brighter side and encouraged me to be myself. We fed off of each other’s energy and never grew tired around each other. We’d even hung out outside of the three classes we had together. We’d had lunch together a few times. If I could consider anyone a friend, it would be him. He always had patience and listened to what I had to say, no matter how long my stutter caused me to take in saying it. I genuinely loved to be around him. Since neither of us had anyone that gave us the things we gave each other in our friendship, we clicked really well and enjoyed hanging out more than anything.
That changed after the Incident with Benny. I shut him out and it obviously upset him. He kept approaching me and every time I would go the other way. He’d call my name and I’d duck down and disappear into the crowd. In class I pretended I couldn’t hear or see him or move far away so he couldn’t talk to me. He was getting upset and it killed me, but I was sure that Benny had told his friends about what had happened. Surely they knew just how pathetic I was, and I didn’t need pity friends or to run into Benny on accident while hanging out with one of them or someone trying to get new material on me to give to Benny to laugh about. If he even cared enough to send someone after me.
No, in all honesty my biggest worry with continuing to be friends with Rory was running into Benny since they were so close. I just couldn’t chance having a run in with him again, my frail self confidence couldn’t handle it. Rory wasn’t one to keep his mouth shut and let dead dogs lie, though. It was only a matter of time before he cornered me and forced me to draw a line that would most definitely hurt him. I would just avoid it as long as possible...
I didn’t succeed in avoiding it for long. Rory had me wedged into a corner, face contorted with frustration as his arms were on either side of me, hands flat on the wall behind me, boxing me in. “What the heck Y/n?” He demanded. “Why have you been avoiding me?” His eyes softened in genuine worry. He was a dork but he wasn’t as stupid as people thought. He just had a one track mind and a knack for looking at the world with a far too innocent, positive outlook. “What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Rory I want you to leave me alone,” I snapped, straightening my back. I was finally losing it, just in time to convince Rory that we weren’t friends so he would leave me alone and I could return to my invisible existence at the complete bottom of the barrel, alone and miserable. He seemed confused but before he could ask, I continued before I could lose my will. “I don’t want you to talk to me oh-or be around me. It’s- It’s time- we-” I swallowed and tried again. “I’ve finally reached my peak. You’re annoying and you drive me crazy and I just want to be left ALONE. Okay? C-Can you do that?” It was mean and I knew that when his arms dropped, it hurt him. But I was in shut down destructive mode and I needed him to be completely convinced that he had to leave me alone. “Can you do that?” I asked again. He nodded and I moved past him.
Just to run right into none other than Benny. Rory turned to face me and Benny saw his friend’s expression, his eyes turning to me in disbelief and even anger. It wasn’t the amused disgust from the last time we’d had a real interaction but it was just as painful to look at. My face twisted with regret and hurt and I turned, clutching my textbook desperately to my chest as I raced off, leaving the two boys alone behind me.
I’d never felt so terrible about myself in my life. And that was saying a lot.
High school being the lucky four years was such ridiculous idea. High school was as much of a lost cause as I was. Geez I just wish I could disappear into nothing...
The tears were falling before I even hit the bathroom.
-
Seeing Ethan and Benny draped in girls was weird enough of a day without suddenly being ambushed by the boys on my way home. I had just got off of work and had a weird feeling in my gut when I passed by Ethan’s house like always. Except, on this very weird, very special day, none other than Ethan Morgan himself rammed into me at full speed. “Hey!” I screamed.
Ethan and Benny were suddenly in front of me and I recoiled from them. “Don’t kill us!” Ethan squealed. I would have laughed at the high pitch of the words if I wasn’t preoccupied with my guts twisting. It was more than usual but Benny had always made me feel like I was floating on air. The night seemed to have brought my cloud nine experience straight to burning rage but I’d had too much of both experiences to act on my quickly changing emotions.
I was a little annoyed though, and it gave me much more confidence to stare them down than I would have had in different circumstances. “Why would I kill you?” I demanded, rolling my eyes. “You ran into me, you didn’t steal my book.” Both boys paused, seeming bewildered by my words. “What?” I demanded.
“The spell didn’t work on you?” Benny asked, tilting his head.
My eyes narrowed. “The WHAT?”
“No time!” Ethan shouted. “Come on!” I went to keep walking but he snagged my wrist. “You’re coming with us. I have some questions to ask you after this whole thing ends.” I had questions of my own honestly and that was the only reason I followed them. The longer I was around them the more angry I got, especially when they shoved me in a frickin’ cage along with them while each of them carried water guns as if they were real weapons.
Suddenly a familiar blonde girl by the name of Erica rammed into the cage door and we all jumped, screaming. “WHAT’S GOING ON?” I screamed. “WHY IS SHE TRYING TO KILL YOU?”
“Come unlock the door,” Erica purred, her teeth suddenly different. Her canines, I realized. They were sharp and long. Inhumanly so. Like... like a dog’s. Like...
“Vampire,” I choked just as sweet little Sarah rounded into sight, teeth matching Erica’s. Fear and shock and stress overwhelmed me and I moved into the far corner of the cage, sinking down until my knees hit my chest. Despite my easy reach, as more girls came they completely ignored me, their clawed hands reaching mercilessly for Benny and Ethan who climbed onto the chair in the middle of the cage, tangled up together and screamed in complete fear.
A lot had happened and my brain was racing. Spells? Vampires? Crazy girls? It seemed every girl at school was here and as my brain kept working too hard, too fast, over too much information- the sound started to seem to get trapped in my skull. It bounced and echoed and built upon itself until I was shaking, my fingers digging into my skull and trying to rip my hair out as my breathing went hay wire. It was too much. Too much. I was frozen stiff, the noise completely overwhelming me, and I couldn’t breathe.
I’d had an anxiety attack before and honestly after the weeks of complete social isolation and emotional repression just to have a day like today with my emotions being so strong and pushy and unbearable and now with all this new, shocking information and painfully loud noise that overwhelmed me and made everything shut down inside of me one by one... I couldn’t take it.
Panic attacks only lasted for a max of half an hour for me but right as the first one ended and exhaustion started to hit, my brain went all haywire because it was so tired out and a panic attack started all over again. I was trapped, terrified, and completely confused. I had three panic attacks in a row before I finally just passed out.
When I woke up, I was curled in a ball in the corner of the cage and the sun was barely rising in the sky. “Hey she’s awake!”
“No, YOU two get away from her! I can’t believe you dragged her into this! Geez if you hadn’t love charmed us we would have gotten her out of there! We saw her totally melting down and didn’t even think to do anything. I can’t believe you dragged her into this!”
“Dude she didn’t react to the Love Potion at all! She was a little aggressive but... I just wanted to be able to ask her what the heck was going on. Why she lashed out at Rory, why we see her staring at us all the time. Why she’s immune to my magic! Maybe she’s some... threat.”
“Threat?!”
“I don’t know! You have to admit it’s a little shifty...”
Sitting up, I blinked the daze out of my eyes. Benny and Sara were outside of the cage to one side of me, arguing, and Ethan and Erica were inside the cage on the other side of me, blocking the way out. Ethan leaned down as Erica rolled her eyes, zooming at near the speed of light to the other side of the cage, dragging Benny away aggressively since his yelling was upsetting me. I watched her with wide eyes as Sara entered the cage at a normal pace, shooing Ethan away. She took his spot. When I turned to her it was me who spoke first. “Vampires?” I choked out, near hysterics.
She looked upset, her eyebrows drawn in and her eyes large and watery. “I’m so sorry.” She gushed softly, reaching out. I flinched away from her and her hand dropped, her frown deepening. “Before we ask you anything, you have the floor. I’ll answer any question. Take as long as you need.”
Closing my eyes, I took deep, even breaths to try and calm down. “Are y-yuh-y-you-y-guh-g-going-“ I cut off, my frustration making my breathing get faster which made my anxiety rise as my heart raced faster.
“Hey don’t rush,” she soothed.
“Rory,” I forced out, shaking now. “G-guh-get-get-get-g- RORY.” She was surprised by my outburst but stood. “FAST!” I added. I blinked and she was gone. Not two seconds passed and she was back, Rory by her side.
“Everyone get back!” He called, his voice firm and his face serious but his volume lowered to not hit at my weaknesses. He knew I hated yelling. He kneeled down, a foot away from me to give me space. “Y/n.” He said my name slowly as my hands rose, one flattening against my chest and the other wrapping loosely around my throat. I hadn’t had this many panic attacks in so few conscious hours in a very long time. Since my parents divorced. “Hey,” he eased, staying where he was. “Hey.”
Closing my eyes, I tried to breathe, reaching a hand out to him from my curled up shell. He immediately moved, slowly, toward me so that he could take my hand in his. After a second I looked up and he pulled me out of my shell and up to my knees so we could hug. He sighed. “Thank you,” I croaked.
After he was sure I was fine and I stopped shaking he leaned back, smiling his usual Rory smile. “No problem, Babe.”
I giggled, feeling a little dizzy. It was so nice to see his smile again that it made my head spin. “Some things never change, huh?” My smile faltered as my thoughts seemed to to center. You hurt him. “Even when everything changes, you don’t.” He looked to the others for a cue on what to say but they seemed not to have any idea because even though they were behind me, he had the same desperate expression on his face when he looked back at me. “I know about the fangs Rory.” There was a pause as I closed my eyes, running a hand through my hair. Opening them again, I looked at him. “I have questions.” I was slowly pulling myself together, trying to focus and at least begin to make sense so my head wouldn’t hurt so much.
“So do we,” Sarah added, entering the cage again. Erica, Benny, and Ethan stopped at the entrance before I motioned them in and we all sat in a circle. “You first. Ask away.” So I did. I asked about everything and anything I could think of, first having them generally explain everything they knew and then asking for details on phrases or new information or words or recalled memories that made my head spin. It seemed a long time but couldn’t have been more than half an hour when we finished.
A little shiver shook me as the morning chill finally got to me as the shock wore off. “Need a jacket?” Benny asked, taking his off and offering it. I eyed it for a second, my heart beating rapidly as it moved into my throat, attempting to gag and choke me at the same time. He shook it gently. “It won’t bite, I promise. No supernatural. Just material you wear to keep you warm.” I reached out, nodding but staying silent, as I took it. I put it on, zipping it up, and hoped my face wasn’t burning.
When I looked back to the others, Sarah and Erica’s expressions made me swallow nervously. “That’s all I have,” I said, trying to change direction back to what we were talking about so we could stray away from anyone finding out about my massive crush on Benny.
Speaking of, he went first. “Why did you blow off Rory?”
I winced. It had been a while and after last night I wasn’t sure what to think. My head was still a little foggy with post-panic and early morning sleepiness from just waking up. But still. The more I woke up the more my body burned every time I moved and the material of Benny’s jacket brushed against my skin. The more it registered that he sat barely inches away from me, our toes a hair length from touching. The more that it registered, the more I thought and felt... the more his spiteful words echoed in my brain to cut and rip at me. I looked at my legs, criss-crossed style in front of me. “I...” I began. Why did they have to start off with a hard question? My brain ran, trying to think out the answers and where they could lead so I would have a detailed story that would cover me. “I wuh-was avoiding you.” I looked up at Benny, coming up with nothing but a deviation from the truth rather than a completely new lie.
He seemed offended. “Me?” I nodded. “Why?”
My eyes narrowed. “Gee Buh-Benny I really w-wonder why.” He looked at me like he was completely flabbergasted and I got angry. I stood to my feet, my face turning red with anger. “Don’t act like you don’t know!”
Benny looked at his friends with wide eyes and mouth dropped open, his arms moving to compensate for his speechlessness. He looked back at me. “I... don’t!”
My eyes watered. Had it really meant nothing to him? Not even enough to remember it? Was he just playing it off because he felt bad? It was like I was looking at a completely different person. Like... Like someone had possessed him or something. “Did you... get puh-possessed or s-something? Like, a month or so ago?”
He looked at me like I was crazy, which would have been funny considering what he had been telling me was fact like ten minutes ago. “No!” He spat.
Ethan’s suddenly went wide. “Evil Benny.” I looked at him. “Did you have a run in with a guy who looked and sounded exactly like Benny? Except that he was a total jerk?”
“He had a toothpick in his mouth,” Benny added, realizing where Ethan was going. “And a really sick leather jacket.”
My shoulders slumped. “Yeah,” I admitted.
Benny reached up, taking my hand and pulling me back down. I gasped, recoiling from the burst of tingling warmth that light my hand on fire at the skin on skin contact. He put his hands up but I sat, keeping a few more inches in between us than before. “What happened?” Sarah asked after a second.
I looked at her, silently begging her not to make me say it. Rory wrapped his arm around my shoulders, shaking me gently and smiling comfortingly. I relaxed under his familiar touch. Rory seemed more like a brother in moments like these. Familiar and warm and caring. Protective. I was so glad for him.
Taking a deep breath, I turned back to the group. I swallowed. “Um, I asked him on a d-“ I panicked, cutting off and choking not he word. “Hang ou-out,” I managed to get out. I blushed, hoping nobody noticed. But I saw Sara and Erica exchanged a look and knew I was busted. I even felt Rory tug me away from Benny protectively and realized he was probably catching on too. How long would it take Ethan? Benny? Oh goodness. “I wanted to make more frien- make new friends. I’m luh-lonley.” I shrugged. “In case you c...” I got caught up on the letter and I struggled a few second before cutting off. “If you didn’t realize.”
“What did HE do?” Ethan asked, frowning deeply.
I shivered, swallowing hard. “He told me no,” I offered weakly. “In a r-really luh-long, round about way. W-with... some insults in the m-muh-mix. “I’m sure you c-could ask any of the stuh-students. It wasn’t pri- we weren’t alone. Very public.”
Benny winced. “I’m so sorry Y/n.”
My eyes widened as I looked at him, sitting up a little. “You know my name?”
He seemed as shocked as I was but the expression turned to one of confusion. “Of... course? Why wouldn’t I know your name?”
Rory sighed and I ducked my head. “I swear. Are you still going on about that lost cause bull crap? I told you Y/n, you’re not as invisible and overlooked as you think.”
“Invisible?” Benny scoffed. “How does someone NOT notice you?” He instantly snapped his mouth closed the second it was spoken, like he’d just uttered a curse word that would get him lynched. I looked at him with the worst blush of all time. I heard Rory chuckle in my ear and I didn’t dare look at Sarah or Erica to see their pitying expression. No way he liked me, but I knew that my eyes were full of hope because I was practically bursting and they would pity how much I liked him, even if there was no chance.
After all, no matter what anyone said, I would always be a lost cause. I shrugged. “Most people look right over me,” I said simply, casually. “The question is who WOULDN’T look over me?”
“Me,” Sarah snapped. “Rory. Benny. Those are three people that actively notice you, obviously. I went out of my way to make friends with you. Rory and you seem super close, and Benny... said his piece.” The look on her face was odd. I couldn’t place it. Her lips pressed together in an almost smile, except more smug. I’d say it was a smirk, teasing, but it was directed at Benny and there was nothing to tease him about so that didn’t make sense.
Erica leaned back, lounging. “Well,” she sighed. “You’re part of the gang now. Me and Ethan won’t be looking over you either.” She smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.
This wouldn’t last. Everyone always realized how much of a loser I was after a while. But I could enjoy it while I got to. And damn it all, I would enjoy every millisecond of such a strong, amazing friend group as this as long as I was allowed.
When we left the cage and I got home, I realized I still had Benny’s jacket on. I looked in a mirror. The sleeves came down long enough so that only my finger tips poked out and the bottom of the sweater went to my mid thigh. I blushed, smiling dreamily as I thought of what it would mean to wear it more often. What stealing his jackets would feel like. Be like. I got so happy that I took the jacket off and put it by my backpack. I would give it to him at school when I saw him later. My thoughts were wandering to things that stealing his jacket on a regular basis came with and I couldn’t handle how it made my entire being shake to my very core. Something I wanted so bad... I couldn’t even think about it.
I showered and then changed into new clothes. Now clean and ready for the day, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and grabbed Benny’s jacket, trying not to think about how cold I was without the warmth that not just A jacket but HIS jacket gave me. I was acting ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. I took it out before folding it and then laying it over my arm, moving my other arm so they were crossed underneath it, my arms working like a towel rack of sorts. I walked all the way to school buzzing.
At the first sight of Benny, I approached. It made me nervous but I took a deep breath. “Hey,” I greeted gently.
Benny turned, his face lighting up when he saw me. “Hey you,” he greeted, leaning against his locker and wearing a flirty smirk.
He flirts with everyone. It would do me less than just no good to think too much into it. It would do me a lot of bad, actually. So I ignored the flirt, instead offering the jacket on my arms. “Th-This is yours.”
He looked at it, frowning in... disappointment? But then he noticed my bare arms. “Keep it,” he said. “Seriously, for as long as you want. I brought my own and have a few more at home. I never see you with jackets on and it’s getting chilly.”
I rose an eyebrow, half confused. “I do hah-have my own jackets,” I assured him.
Pushing the jacket back at me, he shrugged. “Evil Benny was a jerk to you, so let me make some good memories so you don’t want to hide from me very time you see my face.” He smiled as if it was a joke but I wondered if he knew how right he’d gotten it. “Bring your own jacket and then I’ll take it from you.”
Shaking my head I pulled the jacket against my body again, trying to swallow the giddy grin trying to surface. I swallowed. “Thanks Benny,” I whispered, my shyness kicking in. My eyes dropped from his face.
I didn’t see his expression but after a second he replied, “No problem.” There was a pause.
“S-See you around,” I mumbled, leaving.
“See you,” he called back as I moved away.
I did see him after that. A lot.
#benny weir#mbav#my babysitter’s a vampire#benny weir imagine#benny weir x reader#mbav imagine#my babysitter’s a vampire imagine#atticus mitchel#atticus mitchel imagine#atticus mitchel x reader
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Shit Happens
I don’t need anyone in this world to remind me how clumsy I could be sometimes, I know I am clumsy, it runs in my blood. I’ve had my moments where I wished I could just vanish that ‘talent’ of mine completely so I could live a normal and peaceful life, but sometimes this things just come in the package, and I’m going to tell you about that time I wished it was dead and gone from my life forever.
I remember it happening on a Monday morning, maybe a Thursday, on one of those days where the only thing that I seemed to do best to kill time was thinking on stuff that might as well be completely useless. Luke wasn’t home, it was one of those days, they were completely packed in work and he would barely even call during the whole day, leaving me all by myself in a gigantic house, free to do whatever I want. No restrictions at all. That is the big mistake.
Usually on days like this, I would usually limit myself to two things, cooking whatever and watching some Netflix, but knowing how long he was going to take to come back and how little people I know around the city, I could not make plans with anyone in particular, nor I could sit on my ass all day. So in a desperate move, trying to plan on something to keep me occupied for the day, I did the second best thing I could think of. Call my boyfriend’s stylist, also well known as my stepbrother.
My plan was really simple at first, I just wanted someone to chill while my boyfriend was gone, but then his mind got over me and filled me with ideas, slowly corrupting me until he got what he wanted, it was looking pretty fun though. He thought it would be nice to have a good workout session between us, which was fairly a good idea and I agreed on very easily, all I had to do was to change in some better clothing, but then came the hard part. He suggested it would be a would idea to clear up the living room so we could follow a workout video, also kind of easy, but then afterward, came the real fun, the music for our workout, we needed a speaker.
At first, when I thought about a speaker there was only one thing that came to mind and that was the only good speaker around this house, the one Luke always took out for parties and that would be perfect for this occasion. We went for it. I knew where to look but what I didn’t know is that I would be finding myself climbing on his shelves, that from my view looked higher than ever and balancing on my feet to keep myself steady so I could see better. Certainly dangerous but in my head, it was worth this. Little did I know, that’s how all this mess started.
“Do you see it?” My brother asks as he holds me by the hips and lets me have a good look to the surface.
“I think so,” I say, looking around a little, it was a little dark, but I could see something “it’s kind of far though” I say, standing on the tips of my toes and grabbing the edges of the wood tight.
“Oh man,” he says, almost as he was panicking “let me help” he says, squeezing on my hips a little as a signal, I suppose.
“No no, I got it” I say waving his suggestion off.
I grab the edge of the shelve with one hand and with the other, I reach out for the black and enormous speaker at the end of the compartment. I know it is not that far, but when you look at it from my eyes, for carrying such a big gadget it was kind of a big distance. I stand on my toes until I can reach my furthest and when my the tips of my fingers are touching the handle, I smile. I got this.
“almost there” I sing sang, looking down at my brother shortly.
“Are you sure?” He asks again, looking up at me with a slight frown as I drag the heavy object all along towards me “(Y/n) I can do it, really”
“No, it’s okay” I say, my voice seems forced, this is really heavier than I anticipated. “just a bit more” I assure, making a bit more strength when it gets closer and closer “I got it!” I cheer, grabbing the handle and trying to lift it.
Mistake. Big fucking mistake.
I don’t know If that was exactly a big miscalculation of me, or just destiny telling me that I should not grab things that are far off my height and standing in unstabilized structures. It was probably one of the biggest mistakes I have done in a long time, but the moment I grab that handle and lyft the speaker up, I lose my balance completely. Travis is holding me down but it is not enough, I stumble and fell on the floor. but not only that, my head bangs against the floor and the speaker falls with me and strikes right on my wrist, I yell in pain, it was something I was not expecting.
What gave me the worst pain came next, the moment the shelf went down and fell to its side. Books came flying around everywhere and a big and destructive noise filled the room, we just broke something big and we are in big trouble.
I am crying and I don’t even realize when I even started crying. I want to get up but when my eyes open I can’t see much but a blurry picture that starts getting more clear as the seconds passed, everything looks like a mess, definitely not how I found this when I came in this room.
Apparently, Travis stepped aside when this all happened I could see that by how he ran towards me after I hit the floor and how fast he was actually moving, he was in one piece, on my part I was not.
“Oh crap!” He yelled, moving some of the books around me to the side and he helped me turn around gently and carefully sat me up “Are you okay?!”
I wanna shake my head yes, but the moment I lift my back and try to support my weight with my right hand, my wrist bends in one painful and weak move, I couldn't even hold myself together. This was a pure and real pain.
“Ow, my hand!” I cry as I lay on the floor and take in the throbbing pain coming from my hand.
“Shit, C'mon I’ll help you” Travis says, totally panicking and helping me up himself, and carefully examining my hurt hand.
“It hurts really bad” I cry hard. This is the kind of thing that happened when I got in my head too much and came out with too many ideas. Never again.
I look around the room and for a second in my head I am just begging to the gods it is not as bad as it is, but it is worst, the shelve is broken, or at least that’s what it looks like, the books are everywhere, the speaker is fine but the figurines that previously stood around decorating the shelve a little are all shattered, but the worst part of all and the thing that might cause me nightmares for a while, Luke’s guitar is broken, torn apart, destroyed, and I did it.
“Oh no” I say in a little voice, turning my head on every direction to take a look at the room once again. I did it, it’s my fault, my own fault.
“Is your head alright?” Travis ask, but I can’t hear him, there is only one thing in my mind.
“That’s Luke’s guitar” I mumble, pressing my lips together and swallowing down a big cry.
Travis turns to see it, his eyes widening at the sight of the broken and very expensive piece.
“Oh my gosh” he sighs, shaking his head in pure stress.
“It’s broken” I cry softly as I take in the thought “that thing costs like two thousand dollars”
He doesn’t answer, he takes one look at the room, then looks at me and looks around the room again, almost as if he wanted to think of something we could do to fix anything.
“C'mon, get up” he commands me as he grabs my good hand and gets up to his feet in a quick move. “You can get up, right?”
I nod my head yes as I slowly take some support from his hold and pull myself on my feet “Ouch” I say, looking down at my own hand before turning to look at the rest of the mess of the room, my eyes instantly going to that guitar, that freaking expensive piece of wood. “I can't pay for that, it’s so expensive” I cry harder, letting the tears fall freely on my face.
“Why is your hand bending that way?” my brother says, gently inspecting my hand and taking a good look.
“Oh my gosh, it’s so broken, I’m a mess” I cry harder, not even being able to hear him.
he sighs, shaking his head in pure desperation, he carefully puts his arms around my shoulders and says gently “Honey, we’ll worry about that later, we need to go to the hospital”
“No I need to check this out-“ I sob, trying to turn around, but he stops me.
“I think this is more important”
And that is the story on how I got in the emergency room, with a possible concussion and a weirdly bent hand. at that moment there were a lot of things going on in my mind, starting from the fact that sometimes I totally hated the way my mind worked and ending in the possibility on how Luke will probably break up with me after this. I should just have stayed at home watching movies or studying like I always do, I should have used some chair in the first place if I wanted to reach a damn speaker, I should have told Travis I had no speakers at all, I should use my brain for once and know that it’s not a good idea to climb on things because these things happen. I repeat myself those same things, over and over, since we left the house until we get to that hospital.
I can’t even think about what will happen when Luke finds out and apparently all I have left for now is to wait and see if he will be good to me or get as mad as I am expecting, because I expect him too, I would as well. I am a mess after all.
I’ve been here for about an hour and since then so far I’ve had one nurse looking at me and move me in some kind of room to wait for any doctor, a lot of quick examinations later all I know is that my wrist is broken and I need a cast, my head was hit pretty hard and I need tests. My day is going horribly.
I do my best to see the positive side of things but I can’t, I really do take an effort on it though, but the moment my brother leaves me for just a couple minutes, I can’t help to think and overthink everything like I always do. Which lead me to the inevitable, thinking of all these possible endings this could have. So maybe after all this mess, you can probably imagine how much I felt like my head was about to explode, well, I promise it got so much worst.
Because the moment I saw Luke walk into my room my heart almost stopped and seeing the scared expression on his face left me nearly speechless. He looks relieved and like he had the scare of his life, he had no idea, I was glad to see him but at the same time, I was afraid.
He sighs in relief and walks up to me, carefully pulling me in a hug and kissing my forehead.
“Oh” I say in surprise when he comes up to me and wraps me in his warm arms. “hi”
He doesn’t answer, he just looks down to me with a frown in his face and goes straight to the point. “What happened?”
I fail to speak, I sigh and try to take a deep breath, I feel like I can’t speak. So I take his hand and almost in a whisper I say “I love you, please don’t be mad”
“What’s going on?” He asks, caressing my hair with the tips of his fingers and taking a good look the red and slightly bloody mark spreading on my forehead “I got the call and I came here as soon as I could”
I shake my head a little bit, I wish he could take a bit of distance because I couldn’t stand just the thought of looking at him when telling him what I did. Especially this close, so I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and let it out.
“I was trying to look for that speaker you use all the time but it was too high up and I knocked the whole shelf down” I explain in one small voice “the speaker is fine but I broke your guitar, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to” my voice breaks at my last words, I hate to seem this small and fragile in front of him but I had to say it one way or another.
He is quiet, way too quiet. I look up at him to find his face in a neutral expression, his lips pressed together, I could barely tell if he was angry or not, he was just complete serious and if I am being honest, that sort of scared me.
“Which one?” He says, in a soft but serious voice, one that definitely told me he was mad but he was controlling himself.
“The red one” I let out, he sighs, not a pleased sigh. It makes me panic immediately, I know how much he loved it “I’m sorry, I’ll pay for it and the bookshelf and anything, I swear” I say, grabbing his hand and joining our fingers together “I promise”
Again he just stays quiet, he’s looking down at his feet, almost as if he was analyzing the situation entirely. He raises his look at me and I immediately flinch, I’m preparing myself for the worst, but instead, he places his hand on my cheek and asks.
“What happened to you?”
Somehow I fail to speak and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is a stupid sound, one that I immediately swat away and instead I say “I broke my wrist” I explain, showing him the uncasted wrist that I was still waiting to be taking care of.
“Is your head alright?” He asks then, raising his hand to my forehead and rubbing the hurt spot.
I shrug “Yeah, no concussion I think, they took a scan, I’m waiting for the results” I explain to him looking down “I can see fine by now” I scoff trying to give a little lightness to this whole situation.
“Good” he nods, walking forward and kissing my forehead softly.
It takes me a bit of effort to get this out but when my body relaxes, I feel ready to ask, it was the only way I would know what’s on his mind
“You aren’t mad?” I ask, looking up at him shyly.
He sighs and shakes his head as he mumbles a short “No”
One way or another, I don’t believe him, because the moment I raise my eyebrows in a questioning look he is already giving up on me and admitting “I’m a little upset yeah but babe” both of his hands come to my face “it was accident, you got hurt it could have ended up ugly, We’re in the emergency room” he says shaking his head “a broken guitar is the least of my problems when I come home and find that mess, I just want to make sure you’re alright”
My bottom lip trembles a little and I don’t hesitate one second on wrapping him in a big hug. I’m so happy he is taking this Alright. I was so scared he would react differently
“Thanks” I mumble against his shirt “I was very worried”
He shakes his head, I feel his fingers running through my hair “Don’t be, i'm not mad, I promise you” he says, kissing my forehead repeatedly “I can replace a guitar but not you, I have to keep you in one piece”
I smile up to him and purse my lips together, he takes the signal immediately, I know that because he is instantly leaning over me and placing his lips against mine in a short kiss.
“Thanks” I say, in a small voice “I’m sorry for being a paranoid”
He shakes his head, waving his all way. “Stop apologizing, You’ll be fine” he assures me as he moves me aside just a bit and takes a seat beside me “when we’re out of here, I'll take you for ice cream”
“I would love that” l say smiling as I lean my head on his shoulder.
There was one thing about this whole situation I was grateful for and that was the fact I could finally see inside of his mind. Sure, he loved his expensive goods and all that, but those were just materials things, they can be replaced, but the people you love the most, you don’t find those everywhere, you have to protect those with your life.
And today I found out something, there can be a lot of boys around. But my boy,
I can’t definitely replace him.
#Luke hemmings minis#luke hemmings imagines#michael clifford imagines#calum hood imagines#ashton irwim imagines#5sos preferences
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Oh man, I'm just imagining that there's so many close brushes with kiribaku almost realizing or almost being in positions to find out that the other is a vigilante-- an injury and no way to get into contact with Jack or Mina-- a rainstorm washing Kiri's dye away on the job. I think it'd be especially funny if he thought for a minute that Kiri was bleeding but then Kiri is like "UH GOTTA GO ITS NOT BLOOD" and he realizes it's red hair dye
Oh Kirishima sort of already suspects it’s Bakugou - more or less? He’s in the process of starting to suspect it, at least lol for being someone who really doesn’t want to be found out Bakugou’s more carefree in his disguise than Kirishima is (his hair is a pretty obvious giveaway, for example, thought Bakugou relies a lot on the ‘attacking and running’ strategy, so in his mind all he gotta do is just not be seen by anyone at all lol) compared to Kiri he gets bruised and beaten up way more too (Kiri’s hardening makes it easy for him to avoid that in general) - Kiri’s noticing Bakugou’s bruises and his vigilante friend’s bruises match up a whole damn lot, so he’s starting to figure that one out
Bakugou’s a dumbass tho (read: he doesn’t really look at people he isn’t particularly interested in) so for him it’s gonna take a while haha
Anon said: If in vigilantes au Bakugou and jirou are just friends why do they live together and hug like a couple?
They’re best friends, and sometimes when your best friend is going through a real rough heartbreak and he’s in literal tears over it, you might be nice enough to offer your back for him to hide his face in and let him pretend he isn’t currently breaking down on you. Sometimes, you like a person in a platonic way enough to emotionally support them as best as you can when they’re at their lowest. It. Sort of happens between best friends, now and again. You don’t really need to want in someone’s pants to care about them.
They live together cause they started working together as vigilantes when they were in high school, and once they moved up to college they found it a good idea to have someone back home who knew about what they were doing to treat eventual wounds, since they can’t go to the hospital! Also the rent is cheaper this way
Anon said:Can you draw more comics of childhood kiribaku? You’re art is sooo cute 💓
It’s something I’ve regularly kept on going back on for years by now, so sure, it’ll probably happen! And thank you!
Anon said:OH MY GOD. Please tell me you will make an official webcomic of your Vigilante AU. It’s so beautiful, cute and I definitely need more of this. It’s like a drug that I did not know I needed until I read your concept(????). BTW, your art is soooo pretty. Thank you so much for drawing KiriBaku ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Ahhh I’m really happy to hear you like it! For personal reasons I’ve decided that making a cohesive, coherent succession of comics isn’t something I want to do, but I think I’ll draw more of that AU soon enough, snapshots and things like that! I hope that’s good enogh for you~
Anon said:May I request a pissed kiri??
Didn’t I draw that less than 10 posts ago
Anon said:Hey, I rlly admire you! I wish we were friends, you seem rlly nice!!
Thank you!!! The few close friends I have might tell you I’m actually not that great at the whole friends thing, but I appreciate the feeling a lot! :D
Anon said:Were Kirishima’s eyes red in the last panel of the last comic??
Yep :( he really does like Bakugou, after all
Anon said:I saw you answering the other anon and if I may ask, why posting the gem au was a big mistake? Were pol rude with you? If it’s so, I’m sorry abt it
Anon said:You said that posting your SU AU stuff was the biggest mistake you ever made… is it because of something that we, as viewers and worshippers of your KiriBaku (damn, I’ll never stop telling you it’s cute and adorable and it hurts but it’s also sweet), can help NOT doing? Or is there anything we can do?
It’s okay, it just got in the hands of people who don’t particularly like Bakugou, and these people started talking about the AU in less than nice terms, which was honestly pretty ridiculous and made me wonder how people can survive being alive on this earth when they consider Steven Universe sensitive material but either way it brought around in my activities a bunch of people I would have preferred not to interact with ever, and that sort of took the fun out of the AU? Now every time I think about drawing for it those people come back up in my head and I get annoyed all over again, it’s no fun
Anon said:are you still doing the fusion au? id love to see kaminari and shinsou
I’m not, sorry! Though someone did ask about baku and mineta and I’ve been thinking about drawing that horrible monster since then, and I’ve also been wanting to redesign the krbk fusion, so maybe I might get back to it ??? I’ll add shin*kami to the list haha
Anon said:I really like the relationship Jack and Bakugou have, and the angst is nice too! I really like the vigilatne AU! I hope we can see more of it, only if you feel like it of course!
Thank you so much ;;;
Anon said:Silly question. If Kirishima activated his quirk being in water. Would he float like wood, or he’d drown like a rock? >//w//
Oh, I’m pretty sure he’d go down since his quirk makes him into a rock haha
Anon said:I think this is around the eighth anonymous ask I send you, but being a porn-making Tumblr user, it’s better if I don’t go public. I just wanted to say, once again, that I love your KiriBaku, it makes me both ache and feel so warm and fuzzy inside; but right now, the focus is that Bakugou’s crying face against Jack’s back is just so good, expressive and painful. I often hate his guts, but yours I can never hate. And the sheer intensity of that expression, and the environment too… so many feels
Aw, thank you!!! I’m glad I can make you enjoy my fav character, anon :D !!
Anon said:I have a question about the vigilante AU. What’s the relationship between jirou and bakugou? Because they don’t look like just friends
Why don’t they look like just friends tho
Anon said:Hypothetically. How would Bakugou react (or what would he do) if Kirishima stopped showing interest in him?
Are we talking about a specific AU or is this meant for the canon universe? Well, either way I’d say he’d be pretty hurt, but it’s not like he can force Kirishima to like him can he. Ah, in the vigilantes AU he’d probably think it’s for the best even if he’d hurt a lot over it, but in canon and most other AUs I like to think he’d try to fix it somehow? Unless he has other reasons to not act on his feelings for Kirishima… gosh this is a vague question, there are so many possibilities really!
Anon said:🧡Hi Fran! I’m pretty sure you’re the one who introduced this concept to me so I wanted to say thanks! Touch starved Bakugou and super cuddly Bakugou are totally my fave, especially when you have him all curled up with Jirou! Having them be Mina and Kiri level besties makes so much sense and I love you for introducing that thought to me!!!🧡
I’m!!!!!!!!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O;
Anon said:in your vigilante au, Kiri has a scar, does Bakugo ever notice the scar?(curious if it reminds him of Red or nah, love yur art btw~~
When he’s not doing vigilantes work it’s actually hidden by the hair, so Bakugou never noticed! But if he were to notice he’d probably mark it down as a Kiri thing and leave it at that, as I said he’s not the most observant when he’s not particularly interested in someone so he hasn’t really registered it on Red’s face anyway haha
Anon said:I RLLY LOVE YOUR AU!! I haven’t found an AU in this fandom I’m rlly into but THIS IS SOCUTE??? will there be more?
Heck I sure hope so!! Thank you for liking it!!!
Anon said:hey for the anon you were looking for an outrageous ship to draw to test out their theory, try Tokoyami and Link (legend of Zelda link) cuz I just saw cosplayers of them hardcore dancing at dragoncon and I die every time I think about it. You can find a video of it on quirk-registration-office
…………………..I’m probably never gonna draw that ngl LMAO BUT this ask made me wanna draw Tokoyami as a Rito so I guess that’s ???? something that might happen instead heck that’s a good concept I should have thought about earlier
Anon said:I absolutely love your art its soon amazing and I really like the vigilantly au but take care of yourself okay
I dunno what I did to make you worry about me but thank you so much for it? I’ll try my best !!!! And thank you for liking my doodles too!!! ;^;
Anon said:Do you know about any fanfics based in your art?? (Idk if that’s grammatically correct sorry 😅)
Hmmmmmmmmmm there are a few but the only one that comes to mind right now is such a funny pair !!! boy ellen’s fics are always so damn amazing, I still can’t believe she wrote for me ;^;
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McHanzo + 6 :]
Oh gosh, okay. This is my first attempt at writing McHanzo, so let’s hope this goes well, shall we? (This kinda got away from me, but what else is new?)
6. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
send me a pairing and a number for a drabble!
When McCree woke up, he noticed three things.
First thing, he was hot. He could feel sweat beadingalong his back, and he tried to throw back the blanket in disgust. That didn’twork out too well for him, so he slumped back down against his pillow andgrunted irritably.
That was where the second thing came in. As soon as hegot over how damn hot he was, he realized he had the biggest hangover of hisadult life. Life in general, had to be. His mouth was dryer than the desert,and his head was throbbing something awful. He tried to lift his arm to rub at thethumping in his temple, but then he realized he couldn’t move his arm. Somebodywas laying on it.
That was the third thing. He wasn’t alone.
McCree opened an eye, wincing at the bright light comingthrough the window. As soon as he could see, he peered over at the hunk ofmuscle currently weighing down his flesh arm.
Hanzo slept there, his hair loose and splayed out on the pillowbeneath him, a bit of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. He was wrappedtight around McCree, practically holding him down as he slept contentedly.
McCreedidn’t know that Hanzo could look so… relaxed. Even when they met up to drink andbullshit about their latest missions, Hanzo always held an amount of rigidityin his posture. Always on edge, always prepared for a threat. McCree recognizedit because he did the same thing.
Butnow… now the archer’s guard was down. Comfortable enough to snore lightly.
Tosay McCree had thought about this would be wrong. He hadn’t just though aboutthis. He’d fantasized about waking upwith Hanzo next to him. Wrapped around him, trusting him enough to sleep well.Those thick, naked thighs wrapped around McCree—
Holdon.
Wait.
Withhis metal hand, McCree lifted the blanket. Dropped it back down. Lifted it upagain. Yep. Sure enough, Hanzo was naked. Yeah, McCree was naked too, but Hanzo was naked. He gets Hanzo in his bed naked and doesn’tremember a damn thing about it?
Howmuch did he drink last night? Every time McCree thought about it, his headstarted to hurt, so he quit. He sighed deeply and tried to relax, at least getthe pounding in his head to slow. He glanced over at his bedside table where he’dbeen smart enough to leave a glass of water and a bottle of pills in anticipation.
One-handed,real slow to keep from waking Hanzo yet, McCree reached over and picked up thebottle. It took a bit of finagling, but he managed to pop the cap off. Hedumped a few pills out into his lap and put the bottle back, cap off, onto thetable.
Hewashed the pills down with half the water and left the rest for Hanzo, just incase. He wasn’t sure if Hanzo’s headache would be as bad as McCree’s or ifHanzo would even accept the meds, but it was worth a shot.
Nowthat he felt a little less like shit, he might as well see what Hanzoremembered. If he remembered. McCreeprepared himself for one pissed off archer, just in case. He shook his arm a bit,felt Hanzo stir, and began to speak delicately.
“Hey.Hey, Hanzo?”
Hanzogrunted to let him know he was listening.
“Hanzo,is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
Hanzohummed and tucked his head closer to McCree’s shoulder. “This is not your bed.”
McCreeabsorbed that. Glanced around the room. He could see his six-shooter on thetable across the room, his serape hanging off a chair. A torn up Western bookon the table by the water and pills.
“Nah,Hanzo, this is definitely my bed.”
“Youare mistaken. Be still.”
McCreetried not to smile. He really did, but a grin had worked its way across hisface over just how endearing Hanzo was. “Hanzo. Why’re you naked in my bed?”
“Itold you, this is not your—” But then Hanzo stiffened. He bolted straight up,disentangling himself from McCree, and then wincing from what must’ve been abitch of a hangover.
McCreeshook him out a couple of pills and held them out. Hanzo took them and swallowedthem dry before McCree could even offer the water. Still, Hanzo accepted thewater and drained the rest of the glass, still looking a bit disoriented andmore than a little confused.
Aftera moment, Hanzo concluded, “This is not my room.”
“Nope.”
Hanzonarrowed his eyes into an accusing glare. There was the anger McCree had beenexpecting. “Why am I naked in your bed?”
“Yourguess is as good as mine, pal. I don’t remember much of anythin’ from lastnight.” Now that his arm was free, McCree sat up so he could work some of theblood back to his fingers. The blanket pooled around his hips, but he didn’tbother pulling it back up. They’d been cuddling naked; no point in bothering with modesty now.
Hanzo’seyes strayed downward, and he swallowed. McCree definitely wasn’t imagining it;Hanzo was blushing, all the way tohis ears. Grinning, McCree stretched a little, showing off for his guest andenjoying far too much the way Hanzo’s eyes bugged at the sight.
Hell.McCree didn’t know what happened last night, but he wasn’t about to look a gifthorse in the mouth.
“Whereare my clothes?” Hanzo asked quietly.
McCreeshrugged and fumbled around on his table for a smoke. Probably left them in hispants. The reach left a bit of his ass exposed, and when he turned back, Hanzo’seyes shifted away guiltily. Hell.
“Beatsme. The floor, maybe?”
Hanzoscoffed. “I would never—”
“Yeah,and you’d prob’ly never wind up naked in somebody else’s bed either, but herewe are.”
Hanzohuffed, clearly confused by the way his morning had gone. McCree could relate,but the cowboy was dealing with it a little better.
“Allright, I’ll have a look around, see if I can find your clothes.” McCree got upand out of bed, rubbing at his head to fight off the last of the headache. Heneeded water and food and more meds.
McCreealso needed to walk around naked just to see Hanzo tighten up like a bowstringand do his damnedest not to look. He wasn’t doing a very good job, either. Hekept glancing up at McCree and then turning away immediately to collecthimself.
Decidingto take pity on him, McCree went to the dresser first and pulled on a pair of sweatpants.Hanzo visibly relaxed, but he wouldn’t look McCree in the eye. He would,however, look at his pecs, so McCree wasn’t about to complain.
“I’mnot findin’ any clothes,” McCree said after a minute. “Your clothes, my clothes—I’mnot findin’ any of it.”
“That’simpossible,” Hanzo muttered, holding up the blanket so he could lean over andsearch the floor as well.
“Well,I ain’t lyin’ to ya!”
“I…never implied that you were,” Hanzo murmured, sounding tired. “I am simply…confused. You recall nothing from last night?”
“Iremember drinkin’ in the rec room.” McCree stopped looking around so he couldjoin Hanzo on the edge of the bed. “Everythin’ after that’s a bit of a blur.What about you?”
“Thatis all for me as well. We drank quite a bit.” Hanzo looked down at his lap, struggling.McCree decided to wait him out, see what he might have to say. “I… am not oneto do this sort of thing.”
“Yeah,I didn’t reckon you were.” McCree almost put a hand on his shoulder but, giventhe circumstances, thought better of it. “Look, I don’t know what happened lastnight any more than you do, but I can’t say I didn’t like wakin’ up next to ya.”
Hanzolooked up at that, startled. McCree put on his most earnest face, trying tomake sure that Hanzo knew how much he meant it. Hanzo squinted doubtfully,though, his mouth set in a stern, argumentative line.
“Comeon, now. Don’t gimme that look. I mean it.” McCree looked away, rubbing at theback of his neck while he tried to decide if he wanted to put all of his cardson the table or let Hanzo walk out of his room thinking that this was all amistake. “I’ve been wonderin’ how to get you in my bed for months now. I’vejust been too much of a chicken shit to do anythin’ about it.”
Hanzo’sexpression slowly began to relax into something soft, so soft that McCreecouldn’t believe he was seeing it. Hanzo leaned forward, upward, to press achaste kiss to McCree’s lips. McCree sat stock still, afraid to move, afraid todisrupt this quiet moment. Hell, he was too afraid to kiss the man back, butHanzo didn’t seem to offended.
Heleaned back, smiling almost shyly. “I do not know if we got around to that lastnight.”
“Isure hope we did.” And McCree surged forward again, determined to kiss Hanzo asthoroughly as he deserved. By the way Hanzo reacted, he didn’t have a problemwith that whatsoever.
Sometime later, McCree gave Hanzo a pair of his sweat pants to wear and showed himto the door. Before Hanzo could slip away quietly, McCree grabbed his arm.Hanzo turned to him, head tilted curiously to the side.
“Darlin’,feel free to creep naked into my bed any time,” said McCree, finishing with a winkthat he knew would make Hanzo blush—and he wasn’t disappointed.
Hewatched the archer slip away until he rounded the corner. Grinning like anidiot, he turned back around and nearly ran right int Genji. He couldn’t see Genji’seyes, but he was getting a mighty judgmental feeling from behind that visor. Hereached up to tip the hat he wasn’t wearing. Genji didn’t move to return thegreeting.
“Uh,howdy, Genji,” McCree mumbled awkwardly.
“McCree,”replied Genji. “Was that my brother that just saw leave your room?”
McCreeraised an eyebrow. “Uh—nope. Nope, wasn’t him. Must’ve been somebody else.”
“Isee.” Genji nodded thoughtfully. Then he held out McCree’s cowboy hat. “Thiswas on your door.”
“Oh!I, uh—thanks. Thanks. I should probably put this in a safe place.” With a tinywave, McCree took his hat and fled back to his room.
Genjistood there for a moment, smugly watching the door McCree had disappearedbehind. That plan worked much better than he’d anticipated. Maybe later hewould return their clothes.
#writing#gany writes#mchanzo#tumblr prompt#i really hope i didn't let you down anon#my best friend said this is super gay so i hope you're ready for that#Anonymous
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Hello! I've seen loads of asks here about Daphne Greengrass,apparently she and Harry até being shipped a lot. Well,I think you made a wonderful job, since she doesn't appear in the books. I wanted to ask you what are your thoughts on the Greengrass sisters? You're an amazing writer! Have a lovely day!
Thank you! I don’t think I can take any credit for the shipping, though, since that’s happening entirely of its own accord...but I’m glad people like her!
As to the Greengrass sisters, oh gosh do I have thoughts!
Okay, I’m going to put them under a cut because while I don’t think any of this technically counts as spoiler-territory, better safe than sorry right?
So first of all, this is my favorite Greengrass family headcanon I’ve ever seen. Much of my own Greengrass sisters headcanon stems from there, more or less. I mean it goes off on branches...but that’s where the roots started.
(Note that these are general canon headcanons that I hold for the Greengrass girls, and as such may not apply to the Green-Eyed Snake series...but for the most part, they do. For the most part, I’m using my general canon headcanons as my default for writing this AU, and only deviate when I think someone will specifically work better for this story. All talk about future events, however, should definitely not be taken as relevant to the Green-Eyed Snake universe, because I honestly don’t even know who’s going to live to the end of this story yet, let alone who’s going to end up with whom!)
So...my thoughts about the Greengrasses:
I see Daphne as being someone who was embarrassed by her family’s comparatively meager social standing and wealth (relative to the elite of pure-blood society), and who tried to hide it and compensate for it when she got to Hogwarts, and clung to girls like Pansy Parkinson as a shield even when they insulted or mocked her. She was someone who wanted out, who wanted to get away from Knockturn Alley and the apothecary and the very idea of working for a living. She wanted the dream of easy wealth and comfort and big sprawling manors with vaults full of jewels.
I see Astoria as being someone who never paid much attention to the so-called social stigma of being “in trade,” and who enjoyed playing with the plants and the growing and who never liked gossiping with the customers very much, but more because she’d rather leave her nose in her book than talk to them than because she was ashamed of her family’s situation. She didn’t mind living in Knockturn Alley or wearing her sister’s outgrown robes to school, and in fact made a deal with her parents that if she took hand-me-down robes she could use the money they saved there on her books and school instruments instead and get her better quality things than they’d otherwise have afforded.
I see Daphne as loving her little sister and wanting to look out for her, but also being convinced that she knows what’s best for Astoria, and trying to mold and shove her into being the type of girl she thinks they both ought to be -- gossipy social-climbers who care about how fashionable their robes are more than they do their grades -- and Astoria quietly resisting her sisters efforts, which puts a brief wedge between the girls in their adolescence because they don’t understand one another and neither wants to compromise; Daphne resents that Astoria doesn’t seem embarrassed by second-hand robes and shabby books, that she doesn’t try to hide their circumstances, resents that Astoria isn’t grateful to her for all her efforts moving them up the social ladder and won’t do anything to help. Astoria resents being told she has to act differently, resents being told that she ought to be ashamed of things she doesn’t care about, resents her sister bossing her around “for her own good” instead of getting to know her as she is.
I see Astoria as being the sort of girl who does not put up with that for very long, because while she at first valued her sister’s advice when she began her transition, it soon began to feel more confining and constricting than it did constructive, and there’s no wrong way to be a witch, thanks anyway Daphne.
I see the Greengrass parents as having met over plants: she liked herbology, and his parents had an apothecary, and they talked plants more than anything else and still argue about conflicting schools of thought on what to grow and how and what each plant should best be used for, etc. Financial and social strain has added weight to their marriage, especially since their children were born, and they aren’t the cheerfully and constantly arguing couple they once were -- but they don’t hate each other. They just always worked better as colleagues than as a couple, but by the time they figured that out it was too late, and now Mr. Greengrass maybe drinks a little more firewhiskey than he should because he feels ashamed for not being able to better provide for his family and recoup the lost family fortune, and Mrs. Greengrass yells at all of them more than she’d like to because she resents the fact that their situation never improved the way she expected it to...but they don’t hate each other. They just argue more about money than plants these days, which is much less pleasant and much less constructive, and they spend a lot of time in different bedrooms, and are too busy with the business to give their children as much attention as they say they would like to. Neither of them have ever found a long term side-affair; maybe they would both be happier if they did.
The sisters have some Chinese ancestry on the maternal side of the family, and their mother retains enough of her grandparents’ knowledge of Chinese magicks and herbology that she can use it to supplement her and her husband’s standard Hogwarts education, which has been a boon to the apothecary -- but still not as much of a financial success as she had hoped it would be. The British wizarding world is prejudiced against foreign magicks, after all, and so for every patron impressed with the novel and unique things offered at their apothecary, there are two more who turn their noses up at anything that has a tinge of “foreigness” to it, regardless of actual superiority or inferiority.
I see Daphne as being a little bit chubby all her life, with a round pale gold face and long thick black curls and a wide round nose and little round chin. She wishes she was tall and sleek, and occasionally tries really foolish diets in an attempt to get herself to look more like the witch she thinks she ought to be. Pretty, adorable, charming, cute, dainty -- those are all words that can easily be applied to Daphne. She doesn’t want those words: she wants lovely, she wants stunning, she wants elegant. Daphne’s biggest problem is always wanting what she doesn’t have. It drives her, needles at her, bleeds her. As she fills-out, ages, and lightens-up, she grows into her curves and if she ever let herself really own them she’d be a vivacious beauty, but Daphne will never be 100% comfortable with who she is.
I see Astoria as sharing the same plump proportions when she’s little, being a little bit chubbier and shorter even, but slimming out a bit as she gets older -- never to the point of being a girl that would be described as scrawny, but one who might be called delicate -- and being perfectly happy with her body, although she wouldn’t object to being a little bit taller if someone gave her the option. (Especially once she has to start craning her neck to look up at her son, as well as her husband and in-laws.) She has thick black curls too but as she gets older she tends to pull them back in simple ponytails and buns instead of the cascades of ribbons and headbands and twisted braids that her sister spends so much time on. Her complexion is a darker gold than Daphne’s because she spends more time in the greenhouses and thus picks up some sun, despite Daphne’s constant chiding to wear a hat or cast a sun-shielding charm on herself beforehand. She keeps her nails short for digging in the dirt and cleans them meticulously rather than varnishing them like Daphne.
Both girls favor cute, flowery, ruffled clothing, although as they age Daphne’s style grows more sleek while Astoria’s becomes more simple, but they both retain a very traditionally feminine aesthetic. Daphne wears more jewelry than Astoria does, but -- after her marriage, at least -- Astoria’s is higher quality.
Eventually Daphne grows out of being so concerned with appearances, with being who she should be and instead focusing on who she is, and in the end she marries a much subdued, slightly sullen, slightly gentler (but never gentle) Pansy Parkinson, which makes for some awkward family gatherings with the Malfoys. They give their daughter Daphne’s last name, because they want her to be spared Pansy’s minor but lingering infamy, and keep to themselves and their small social circle rather than striving for the prestige and influence that Daphne (and Pansy) always dreamed of having when they were young, and they’re happy enough...although they both still long for those old unattainable dreams.
Astoria and Draco never had much to do with one another growing up and only really start conversing over potions and plants in his seventh year and her fifth, which is a good thing because by then Draco has become much less of an arse when speaking to people, and if she had known him better earlier she probably would never have fallen in love with him later. They live an even more sedate and reclusive life than the Greengrass-Parkinsons, and they both prefer it that way, because Astoria was never an extrovert and Draco...well, he learned to dislike being in the center of attention. So they keep to themselves and dote on their son and try to find a balance between spoiling him and spoiling him rotten. Astoria and Lucius get along well enough through their bond over the gardens, because that was always Lucius’s hobby and he likes having a daughter-in-law who shares the interest, but she and Narcissa never really warm up to each other -- although Narcissa would murder anything that hurt Astoria because she makes her precious son happy, and she dotes on Scorpius as much as anyone; she just doesn’t care much for Astoria, personally. She’s too open-minded. But the little family is happy enough in the secluded, reclusive peace of their manor, safe from the dangers that almost destroyed them, and that’s as happily an ever-after as any of them can claim a right to having.
And fuck Cursed Child and it’s appalling, sexist, “we’re going to fridge a female character off-screen to give the male characters pain trope.” Astoria does not have some weird bloodline curse that kills her early, thank you very much.
#daphne greengrass#astoria greengrass#is there a ship name for harry and daphne? i feel like i need to find one for all these posts lol#pansy parkinson#draco malfoy#canon spoilers#shipping#greengrass sisters#greengrass family#headcanon#Anonymous
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Interview with ME!
- What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames. Serafina Lynn James. Sera, usually. Fee, evidently, as well. Thanks, UK. - When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time? May 10th. Born in Panama City, FL... I think at 10:20AM? - What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too? Taurus!! And Horse. :)
- What is your earliest memory that you can remember? Eating Shrimp Chow Mein with my dad. I think I was three, maybe? - Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural? Not on the beach, but close. Definitely not urban, though. That’s not really how Panama City works. - How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends? I had a decent childhood, I guess. Parents divorced when I was young, but they were both good to me as a kid. I was sort of a loner, though, if I’m being honest. I had friends, but I was perfectly content just playing outside by myself. - How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average? School was miserable and I absolutely abhor the entire experience, with the exception of the internship it landed me and... eventually the job it landed me. The less said about it the better. I majored in business administration, minored in sociology. - Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch? Amy Lynn. We bonded over a shared middle name and the fact that I accidentally made her puke on a merry-go-round. We are not in touch as much as I would like. She’s got a husband and a kid with another on the way and I’m... you know... working. We talk when we can. - Were you in any cliques? I hung out with anime fans and comic book fans and tae kwon do kids? I don’t know, are those cliques? Probably not. - Best childhood memory you can recall? The first time I ever saw a live wrestling show. My dad took me to Fall Brawl 97, and at seven years old, it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. The first match set me up for the rest of my life. Jericho vs. Guerrero. I never looked back after that. - Worst childhood memory you can recall? The day my dad moved out. - Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today Uh... yeah, Fall Brawl 97. True story. - What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught? Probably taking this job all on my own. This is definitely a task for more than one person, but... I can do it. I know I can and I’m going to show Regal that he was wrong to waste me for so long. - Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend? Sweethearts, lol. Who even says that? I had boyfriends in high school, but nothing serious. And only one long term relationship that started in college. Four years down the fucking drain. Ugh. - Are you a virgin? Lord no. LOL - Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids? See above statement. I’m too busy for that ish. - Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want? You know... if I DID decide to have kids... I don’t know. Adoption is a wonderful thing, because lord knows there are already so many unwanted babies in this world. Sad, but true. I think adoption is a wonderful option, really. - Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent? Uhhh, given how I am with the boys? Protective. Like... ultra protective. - How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic? Having mindblowing sex with my mortal enemy. ‘Cause not only do I get to go out hatefucking someone (!), but it’s bound to ruin the experience for them and that’s not something they will forget EVER. - Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit? Thanks to WWE medical, I’m healthy and chugging down vitamins like it’s my job. - Have you ever been badly injured before? Broke my wrist as a kid and I have a nagging ankle issue, but nothing SERIOUS, no. - What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death? Honestly, I’ve been really lucky. The broken wrist was probably the worst, but honestly, it wasn’t even that big of a deal. - How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's? I avoid them at all costs. Let’s not even talk about it. - Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia? Nope, though that’s surprising as hell since Coach Brookside decided I needed to learn how to bump once I actually started working for the company. - What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick? I just really don’t get sick. I think maybe I had strep a few years back, but I literally did nothing about it, so I don’t even know if it was actually strep or not. - Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for? Nope! - Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened? Yes. I have stitched up my dad when we went camping (not fun), I definitely had to put a hole in my toenail to drain the blood when I smashed it (extra not fun), and I have changed about a hundred bandages for various injuries to myself, my mom, my dad and a few of the boys. - Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do? I am currently a member of the WWE Talent Relations office, based in the UK just recently. Like literally three days ago. It’s still sort of surreal. Previously, I was a personal assistant to Mr. William Regal. I sometimes feel like I was sent here as a rib, because that’s one hell of a freakin’ leap, but... here I am, so. Make the most of it, right? - Are you happy with your current job? I literally couldn’t be happier. - Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do? Mostly small stuff, office management, retail BS, bartender... - Most dangerous thing you have ever done? I’m sure my mom would say something about texting and driving (which I don’t do, mom, and neither should any one else!) but honestly... probably insisting on WWE giving me something more to do, because we see how that turned out. - Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person? Active? I mean, I’m not going out running every day... not that kind of active. I stay in shape, but I am literally always doing things. I am constantly working, so... active in that sense, I guess. - What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare? To be in charge of NXT. <3 Worst nightmare? Failure. - What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself? To be in charge of NXT. You’re only as good as the person you help to get a promotion, Mr. Regal... :) - How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task? I’ve been told I’m obnoxiously persistent and it must be true, because here I am. And I don’t ever quit on any goal. I’ve always accomplished anything I’ve set my mind to. - Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end? Surrender is a tool of war that is either a signal of defeat or treachery. - When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list? Literally, everything is on my shopping list. I am moving into my new flat on Wednesday, so like... ALL of the groceries. Mostly organics. - Top three things on your wishlist? To be in charge of NXT... though I can’t really buy that at the store and I’m pretty sure that’s what they were going for here... 1.) Body Shop Banana Shampoo & Conditioner 2.) Another Key Lime Pie smoothie from the place down the street 3.) And maybe it makes me a mark, but I want a Kenny Omega bear, damnit. (sorry boss!) - Currently, what is something you want but do not need? That damn bear, for sure. - Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for? I mean, I guess? I don’t really get to just go shopping all that often. Just like... typical clothes shopping? Maybe?? Is that really a priority in people’s lives? - What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it? My old TV. 4K. It was nice. SIGH. I miss it. - What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue? Uhhhhh... wow. I’d do the typical stuff. By my mom a house, get a new car, by MYSELF a house, too, pay off my student debt, donate a shit ton of money to charity... start a wildlife rescue and refuge! - What would you describe your style of clothing as? It depends. I’m definitely business casual at work, but like.. more towards the business end. Outside of work, if I’m WEARING clothes, it’s gonna be a baggy tank and jeans, sandals, sunglasses. - Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can. I used to sing a lot, but honestly work has consumed my life and I am a-ok with that. - Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork? I DO! And I can’t put that on here, because his head will get exponentially bigger than it already is. - Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music? Oh gosh, I like everything. I’m currently wavering between Kenny Chesney and Kaleo right now. But I like a lot of different things. Bluegrass, EDM, Classical, Hip hop... if it’s good, I like it. - Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite? PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. - What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is? Hm. Top three favorite animals... Florida panther, giraffe, panda My spirit animal is 137% a bear. - What are your top three favorite colors? Deep dark purple, Emerald Green and Maroon - What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all? Summer. Always summer. Fuck the cold. - What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)? I like them all, but... I’m going with Sweet and Sour, baby. (12 LARGE). Damn, I just made myself sad. - Can you cook at all? Yes, though the quality of that cooking is always up in the air. - What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy? Shrimp Chow Mein. I’ve never even attempted to make it nor do I have a recipe. You know, I probably SHOULD try to make it, though. - What is your favorite fruit and vegetable? Fruit: Peaches Vegetable: Asparagus - What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat? Key Lime Pie. <3 Candy is always always gummi worms. - What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst? Frog legs, freshly caught and sauteed in garlic butter. Only really good if you catch them yourself, though. Worst thing ever? Any frozen green tea things. Popsicles were the WORST. - Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors? I love hot tea, Earl Grey or English Breakfast. And yes, I am a coffee addict. - Describe your sense of humor. Sarcastic. - What is one thing you are justly proud of? My persistence paying off and landing me the job of a lifetime. - Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service? Not my bag, no. I have been to church and actually grew up attending a baptist church every Sunday for years. It was enough to kill any interest in religion. - What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? The ex did some messed up shit. - What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone? I also did some messed up shit, based on the ex’s messed up shit. - Share the latest entry in your diary/journal. Basically me whining about having slept 20 hours. Thanks, jet lag! - What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all? My sense of self and my drive. It’s invaluable. - Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike. Hm. I think I’m going to save this question for it’s own little post someday this week. - FREE QUESTION NO! IMPRISONED QUESTION IS BEING HELD FOR JUSTIFIABLE REASONS AND WILL NOT BE FREED!
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