#[ ooc; if i ever think of more I will come back and add more XD ]

[magicalshe]

headcanons and an explanation of drug names used on this blog.

Okay, so I want you all to know that I will be using names for real-life drugs and the names of fantasy drugs on this blog. Why? Well, it mostly has to do with Lilim. In my canon, it's hard for demons, devils, and other supernatural with 'poison immunity' or 'poison resistance' to feel the effect of human substances (both drugs and liquor). This is because they were made for humans by humans who have a significantly lower tolerance than folks like the residents of hell. So instead of having to take an obnoxious amount of human drugs to feel anything, the supernaturals have developed their own drugs over the years (many of which have fun or interesting effects).

Under the cut will be a list of drugs that Lilim is known to take, both human and not, as well as some descriptions of the fantasy ones.

regular/real drugs.

alcohol via drinking.

cocaine via snorting.

psilocybin mushrooms via oral consumption, typically straight or in tea.

salvia via smoke inhalation.

cannabis via smoke inhalation or edibles.

LSD or acid via tabs or sheets meant to be taken orally.

MDMA or ecstasy/molly via oral consumption, typically pills or tablets.

PCP or angel dust via smoke inhalation or pills.

ketamine via snorting or oral consumption of pills.

fantasy drugs.

dragon spice. It's basically a fantasy mix of cocaine and ketamine that is meant to be snorted. Because of the name, many people wrongly assume it to be made of something like dragon scales. In fact, the name is a hint at the drug's largest consumer.

heavenly lotus flowers. These are heavenly flowers that look like red and gold lotus. They are made into a tea that gives a person a relaxed and euphoric feeling. It's popular amongst the heavenly hosts and those belonging to the Upper Realms.

nepenthe. Popular amongst the Greco-Roman crowd, it is made from the resin of unique trees that only grow on Olympus or in Hades. It promotes jovialness and is most often used at celebrations. It's consumed by mixing it into a liquid (preferably wine) and drinking it.

sundrops. A sweet, amber tablet meant to be dissolved slowly on the tongue or on the side of the cheek and is made through a fae alchemy process that combines liquid sunlight and an herbal mixture unique to the Seelie court. It has heavy aphrodisiac and pain relief effects and is popularly used by the fae during courtship dances or solstice celebrations.

blackroot. A lichen that grows on large rocks in all circles of hell. When chewed on, it causes the user to have a pleasant tingling sensation on the lips, tongue, and gum. It also gives the user a sense of mental sharpness, alertness, and quicker reflexes for a few hours. Blackroot is most popular among foot soldiers and lower-ranking demons due to its cheap price.

wandercaps. A mushroom that looks like a blue inkcap mushroom popularized by the fae of the Unseelie court. It's a hallucinogenic that allows one to see onto the ethereal plane for a number of hours. It's typically washed with moon water and then eaten plain.

sharpsugar. An energy-boosting iridescent white power that can be snorted or rubbed on the gums. It was made popular by stage performers and is well-liked by the upper ranks of hell for use during long meetings or gatherings. It has a side effect of whitening teeth and is fairly expensive.

stardust. Made from dead stars, it's typically used by eldritch space horrors but has been growing in popularity recently due to a new refinement process discovered by the fae. It's basically like space LSD. It is recommended to be mixed with water and then drank.

purified stardust. A more concentrated, powerful, and safer version of stardust.

shatter. An odd emerald substance that can be smoked or consumed in a tincture. It gives a potent and pleasant high. If taken in large and consecutive doses it is possible for the individual to split into copies of their self. The effect lasts until the copies are killed or the high ends causing the copies to turn into emerald green smoke. During this time, the copies are scarily realistic to all the senses.

fever fire. Made from the ground petals of a translucent flower that only grows in the coldest parts of hell, fever fire causes the body temperature of the user to rise and enter a pleasant yet foggy state of high. It can be paired with sundrops to force creatures into an artificial heat or estrous cycle.

redthyme. An odd concoction that is used to force that user into a violent, psychotic state. It is typically drunk and is infamous for its bitter taste. Prolonged use of this drug is known to wear down one's mental state quickly.

unicorn wax. It's basically fantasy top self cannabis and is normally smoked. Unicorn wax is in fact made out of unicorns and is very expensive because of that.

[captainsspnanon]

C2E28 - Within the Nest - rewatch/liveblog

Pre-show… Live from San Diego ComicCon – Liam says if Molly were to rise out of the grave and become the big bad of the campaign….OH DEAR

Something I was wrong about – Taliesin confirmed that Molly WOULD have been cool to have come back.  It was the Lingering Soul that Molly would not have wanted, and either I misunderstood from the beginning, or I just remembered how they discussed how the Soul would be Molly’s worst nightmare and I crossed wires in my brain and overrode the fact that Molly would have come back.  That makes it very interesting why they didn’t push harder to try and get him back after they rescue the trio….my personal guess is that by that point they had Caduceus for a few episodes and realized OOC that the group NEEDED a bit of calmness and stillness that Caduceus brought, as well as his mechanics.  I don’t think they ever actually discuss if they talked behind the scenes about Cad vs Molly long term, I kinda wish we could get a sneak peek into their brains for that.   It makes sense in Vox Machina that they were so resistant to having someone die, considering how close they all were, maybe the Mighty Nein was still distant enough that they mourned the loss but didn’t feel it absolutely necessary to bring him back?  It’s very hard to say, especially now, years later.  LOL who knows, maybe they were going to and Matt hinted that it wouldn’t work...but then I feel like he’d let it play out, so maybe not.

(maybe they just didn’t want to hear Taliesin work on an Irish accent anymore :P :P :P)

LOLOLOL I completely forgot Marisha laughing at Liam for suggesting infiltration with a spider.  IT WORKS OUT!!  (it’s also super entertaining whenever one person is speaking OOC and the other person speaks IC, leading to this disjointed ‘is this a canon conversation or no’?  I love it so much)

I feel like they had to know Taliesin was the cleric.  They did take the time to discuss hiring a Tasker, but ended up going for the cleric.  It’s hard to tell, honestly.  I’m leaning more towards a meta-knowledge.

Ah, D&D. Debating for ages how to cross over a thorny wall until someone loses patience and just climbs over without issue.  What is D&D if not overcomplicating things?

And Caduceus starts with his tea, such a thematic aspect of his character, and all because Taliesin was trying to think of how to introduce him XD

You know, the only three tea cups is a funny bit, but Cad has a big family, I feel like there should totally be enough cups?

OH FUCK.  I knew he was alone, and I knew he was alone for a while, but TWENTY YEARS.  I forgot it was THAT LONG.  oh poor bb……….YOU HAVE A NEW FAMILY NOW.

*happy sigh*  I missed this.  Like, I know I haven’t been commenting much, this’ll probably be a shorter rewatch, especially cause it’s going to be a battle towards the end, but part of it is because I’m just happily watching.  The ENERGY that Caduceus brings is just calming and soothing, and it truly genuinely was needed in the Nein, not only for the party, but as a viewer for the show.  Fjord was pretty much the only one with that lower energy, and he only has it sometimes.  Yasha unfortunately just wasn’t present enough to add that flavor to the mix, plus her energy also comes with the intentional discomfort.

Oh interesting, Liam thinks he’s a druid?  Or is he just saying that the flavor of the armor is druid-esque?  ‘Cause they were told he was a cleric, but Cad hasn’t specified himself yet.

Nott shooting Beau *heart*  I’ve watched an animatic of this scene so many times :) :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWXyAGuxY1Q

...wow I got distracted and zoned out when I was watching.  It’s the next day now, and I think I’m going to go back to around the shooting scene and rewatch from there. ��Doing this rewatch is making me actively watch, and I was heckin’ passively watching yetersday.

Oh yeah, they forget that Firbolgs don’t have darkvision.  I feel like this actually goes on for a while, and they don’t realize it for a good number of episodes.

Cad talking to the trees!!!! my heaaaarttt!!!  I love that it started so early.  It’s so fascinating to me how Cad managed to come in and seem so fully fleshed out even though he was created over the span of just a few days.  Maybe it’s because he’s the only new one coming in while the others have already been developed, or maybe it’s because there’s a meta aspect of Taliesin having to make sure his PC has a reason to not only go with the group but also have the group willing to keep him around, so made a PC that’s much more open than how the group was in the first few episodes.

Nothing is as entertaining to me as Liam asking Matt the time, Matt gives an estimate, and then Caleb gives it to the exact minute.  Except maybe the face that Matt gives him when he does that.

And Frumpkin is now a spider!!!  I note this now, because apparently Liam forgets and has him fly around either this or next episode. XD

UGH I just checked crstats to see if they had the list of Frumpkin forms (they do) to confirm this is the only time he’s a spider, and they have his last two appearances listed as ‘white cat’ and I just got fucking EMOTIONAL.  I 100% headcanon that released!Frumpkin totally checks in on Caleb periodically.  Maybe even comes in and out as a stray that Caleb is unable to fully adopt but sees so much.  LOOK FRUMPKIN LOVES CALEB AND I WILL NOT BE DENIED.

And there it is! Spider!Frumpkin is now flying :)

I guess I just don’t have much to say this episode.  It’s a good episode!  I’m enjoying it.  They’re doing relatively good strategy considering how it usually turns out, there’s good humor, all in all good episode!

MARISHA’S FACE after Caleb says “Part of me really likes the way that fire feels” HER FAAACE

Still nothing to say, I’m just enjoying the ride! :)

There’s another wisdom save for Caleb.  Too bad I’ve forgotten what the hell the count was. XD  Liam says it’s the first time he didn’t fail it, I’ll take his word for it.  Once was the manticore priests, once was …. I don’t remember!  Something else!  OH the troll!  And then this is the third, I guess?  Unless I’ve forgotten another one.  If so, then yes, this is the first success.

Yup, Liam definitely affected by the child scene.  Marisha providing physical comfort to him as well.  I suspect this is why this type of scene really isn’t included in their games.

And the fandom forever remembers that Nila went to take care of the Blooming Grove and the actual narrative forgets about it completely. XD

I always love it when there’s the little after discussion that we get to see.  Wish we could see it more frequently. :)

@suicidallyreckless

[papabirdurskeks]

I ask this both for Baron Dark, Ariandel and SkekSo !

Give me a character and I will answer: @ben-the-hyena

Oh boy a triple feature! :D Here we go, folks!

Under a read more cause its going to get long but each listed character will be split apart evenly!

First up is Baron Dark!

Why I like them: He is just bombastic in personality! He lives loud in his actions and words, participating in most of the action himself while also showing he is a threat and menacing altogether! I also like that he is one of the few villains that shows he cares for his crew as a “family” (at least for most part of the series before being overtaken with obsession to have power more on his own). Given the dynamic we are given from the show, its obvious he cares and treats them all on a level of respect as well, something so rare to see nowadays! And I also enjoyed that his reasons to take over and do the shit he did in the series, “Because I can!” is just as refreshing and fun to see in a villain too!  And again, his design is a top tier design I love overall! Its menacing, powerful, and outright amazing! Definitely adds to the character and how well he works in effect to keeping my attention! Like just look at that design! And his VA did a wonderful job of adding to that charm that is just delightful to see in his personality! Overall, he is totally a villain I would love to see more of in the future!

Why I don’t: I say my dislikes often fall on the usual tropes of a kid’s show of the 90s. He talks too much when he could be doing things himself and falls victim to the typical “I am too powerful” but doesn’t think of the obvious steps ahead that will be his downfall. But honestly, its so small I don’t find it jarring or that bad to be in the way! It was the 90s and aimed at kids at the time, so we can’t expect TOO much out of that xD

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Oh man, that’s a tough one cause every scene/episode Baron is in he totally slays it! Its either a tie from the first episode to the very last one cause the stakes of start and finish are so well done, I love it all! 

Favorite season/movie: Obviously, the TV series is the best version of him! The comics sucked and turned him too OOC from what was initially given! Like how does one go from point A to be Z so freaking fast? xD

Favorite line: “Because I can.” Yeah, not gonna lie this was indeed my favorite line of his xD

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the outfit he gains near the end of the series is by far my favorite! Its like a mix of the Bejeweled Catacomb Saints and Mictlantechutli put in one and its befitting of the Baron given his gain in power! 

OTP: Baron and Cyborn are my OTP and are married, fight me. 

Brotp: Definitely Brotps with the rest of his henchmen though I see them more being like his adoptive children! 

Head Canon: Baron is of indigenous background! I also like to headcanon that the white tuft/strands in his hair are truly his and have been there since birth!  (I have so many more HCs for him but I will keep it short cause it can go all day x’) )

Unpopular opinion: Don’t think I have one, at the moment at least. 

A wish: To have gotten more information/lore on him and the entire cast, honestly! I would have loved to see more of his character explored and what more he could have had to offer as a series main villain! Hell, the whole damn series had so much to offer! And just the relationships he has with the others and what more he could have done post season and before! So much potential there to be explored! I honestly would not be objecting to a reboot/revival or continuation of the series! 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Though with that said, if a reboot does come around, don’t turn it into the mess of current cartoons we have. Not that they are all bad but most of them have been very disappointing in keeping my attention and liking. Keep the same type of messages it had before! It worked beautifully as it did then and still does work now! I’d love to see the same formulas used while also updating it to be more gritty and mature like they did for Castlevania! Just... Don’t turn it into a cringe worthy mess that will ruin Baron and all the characters in the series! Don’t do what the comics did! 

5 words to best describe them: Charmingly evil, badass, fun, conniving bastard, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Mega dork (affectionately speaking)

Next is Ariandel!

Why I like them: Oh boy, there is a lot to say in terms of why I like him but I will try to keep it short and simple for time purposes!  His design is top tier for me! Like a rotting skull like face? Check! A monstrous body much like a bird’s? Check! And to add he is a giant Corvian, which are one of my favorite enemies in Dark Souls III!  His personality also differs from the usual loud, bombastic, and proud characters I tend to gravitate for. Instead, he’s withdrawn and rather sad to look at and hear. You know he’s going through a lot but don’t know exactly what it is. In game, one can sort of get hints as to what has gone on behind the scenes but at the same time, its still vague and hard to really pinpoint what really did happen. So he has that air of mystery to him that I honestly adore in many characters as it leaves room to explore deeper into their lore! But I also find his personality relatable as well as sympathetic.  But that’s just me, I can gush about him all day but I will cut it short here x’)

Why I don’t: To be honest I don't have any reason not to like Ariandel other then the small fact that he followed Friede and let the Painted World rot in such a terrible state. But that is so minor of an issue to me to really make a difference, lol. I adore this giant bird man!

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I have to say the scene where he ultimately snaps and breaks out of binds after seeing Friede's lifeless body before him is my favorite scene of his. The amount of pain and anguish heard in his scream and the way he moves prior and after; I can very much relate to that feeling. Sometimes, actions truly convey the emotions better in the most powerful means necessary. And this scene alone truly nailed it.

Favorite season/movie: He's only ever seen in the Dark Souls III DLC, so obvious answer points to the DLC!

Favorite line: "When the Ashes are two, a flame alighteth. Thou'rt Ash, and fire befits thee, of course..."

Favorite outfit: Uhh, he doesn't really wear any clothes save for his cape? So I guess the cape does him well as he is, though I always draw him without it xD

OTP: To be honest, I don't ship him with any canon characters within Dark Souls. Friede does not deserve him..

Brotp: Ariandel being best friends with the Ashen One is my ultimate Brotp! Just think of how much of a valuable ally he could have been!

Head Canon: I know his origins are debatable, as either theory I have for him can be plausible but I often lean more towards the idea of him being half Giant and half Corvian! IDK why but I just like it a lot more x’)

Unpopular opinion: While Ariandel is partly responsible for what happened to the Painted World, I still feel he was manipulated overall and probably at one point did have a change of heart before being forced into complete isolation. He plays more the role of the willing/unwilling accomplice then the actual perpetrator of the crime.  

A wish: He could have had a happier ending without having to die for Friede. I know, its Dark Souls. Such a thing is expected to happen in the Soulsborne series but its a wish, right? 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: That anything beyond the infatuation he had for Friede took place. Just.. No. He loved her but never could ever have her in that sense and never did. Just no, she is horrible to him. 

5 words to best describe them: Sad, lonely, birdman, withdrawn, and tragic

My nickname for them: Papa bird

And lastly for skekSo!

Why I like them: I think its as obvious as the case for Baron Dark. I like evil, smug bastards that shine through their wickedness and don't usually hold back. In the case of skekSo, I actually didn't care for him at first but then after my second viewing of the show, I started to like him more and enjoy his villainy! He's selfish, arrogant, vain, and conniving and I love it! Added that his design is really appealing to the eye and how he carries himself out, I gotta say he's one of the few villain characters from a show that makes the turn around for me to like them instead of hate them more. Also, his voice. Can NOT go wrong with that voice cause DAMN, its good and shows just how powerful a villain can be with a voice like his. And those eyes. Oh man, those eyes!

Why I don’t: Despite his villainy being the main point that caught my attention, its also a part of his downfall too. His constant greed and arrogance pushed him too far into doing what he did and ultimately cost him everything in the end; including loyal allies that end up dying for him in the long run. I hate how easily and quickly he changes his mind when actual logic is put into perspective of his plans and how quick he is to dismiss someone else when they don't please him anymore or things don't go his way for the smallest things. And yes, that is part of his character, I know that. That is what makes him as scummy as he is and why I love how trashy he is. But I also can't ignore just how easily he pushed skekVar away and believed skekSil despite knowing just what a lying bastard he is. IDK, it just feels too obvious but at the same time, it is what it is and I am not upset about it in the least x)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Honestly, I enjoyed all the scenes with him in the show but mostly in particular with his interactions with skekVar, especially towards the end of the series. It showed a peak part of his vulnerability in his character that honestly I doubt he ever shows to anyone else. He spends most of his time pushing others around and making them fear him but with skekVar there is a sort of mutual respect going that really speaks out in a different way. Maybe I am just reading too much into it, but I always did enjoy how they interacted with one another!

Favorite season/movie: Well, skekSo didn't get much screen time in the movie other then him dying and turning to dust so.... Definitely enjoyed him more in the show then the film xD

Favorite line: "NOOOOO!" (Yes, this scene is still very infamous to me for personal reasons but the way he carried out his "no's" cracked me up each time xD)

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the main outfit he wore throughout the show. It's just so regal and goth, I love it! And as a goth and fashion enthusiast myself, I am all up for the style he has! The battle armor he wore near the end made it a tad more laughable to be honest.

OTP: I started shipping him with skekVar but ended up with an OT3 of skekVar and skekZok. So now all three of them live in a happy relationship with each other in my noodle~

Brotp: I see him being on neutral terms with skekMal! 

Head Canon: I feel that even in the show it wasn’t seen or given, but he did feel a lot of remorse and regret after the loss of skekVar. He seemed very close with him and spoke with skekVar with more trust then he did the others. Perhaps in secret he did mourn the General’s loss. 

Unpopular opinion: Does this count as an unpopular opinion? I know most people see him with just a few strands of hair but I tend to see him with a head full of long flowing white locks he keeps hidden beneath his clothes. It adds to the extra layer of vanity for a proud Emperor such as he! He looses it over time the darkening consumes him and withers down his health. 

A wish: To see what he was like as an urSkek prior to being split up into a Skeksis and urRu. Yeah, I know people don't care or like the urSkeks all that much but honestly, I would LOVE to see more urSkek lore and see what it was that made SoSu so special among his peers. It was said, after all, he had a voice that could move the stars but was conflicted and consumed with darkness. Honestly, I want to know why and who he was prior to all of this mess! SkekSo even says in the show he still has nightmares of the life before so I wonder, what they were and how it was! So much potential here, man!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I don’t think I have any of these to be honest? At least with skekSo. Not that I can think of on top of my head now. 

5 words to best describe them: Proud, absolute piece of shit, pretty, conniving, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Stupid idiot

[malcolmbrights-a]

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS, DOLLS, AND FRIENDS!

i’m awful at these, but i wanted to show my love to the people who write with me in some sort of way since i appreciate you guys so so much. i hope in the new year everyone has a great year and that you get lucky in some shape or form, and that sadness hits you a little less hard. LOVE YOU ALL!!!

people i write with:

@yagirlbrit-writes 

i love you so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!! i am so glad that we’ve been friends for so long!!!!!!!!!! i honestly would’ve never been the person i am today without some of your positive influence!!!!!!! like the fact that i’m so open about being a lesbian now is because of you and i’m so thankful that you gave me the power of self love because of that!!!!!! anyways, i love all of your characters and i’m so happy that i get to interact with them and get to read your writing because you are so fucking talented. have a happy new year sis!

@engeljjk

we’ve been talking for years and i’m so appreciative of you and our friendship!!! it makes me so glad to know that we met in a random ass roleplay years ago and we still talk after all of these years. i love you and i love how brillian you are. like some of the stuff you talk about makes me feel dumb because you are crazy smart but i learn so much from you too. headcanoning with you and discussing ships and characters has truly been a gift and  i’m so glad that you still do it with me. have a happy new year boo!

@outfromthesea

i’m pretty sure i have more plots with you than i have with anyone else lmfao. so that should say how much i love writing and headcanoning with you. you honestly light up my life kayla and are truly one of the sweetest, most brillian people i’ve ever met. next ever change. i hope that going into the new year that life treats you well and that you have a good one!!! but omg all of your characters are so fucking developed and i love that you give me monster headcanons and are patient with my dumb of ass

@shutuprhian 

i’ve only known you for a year but i love you so fucking much girl! you’re always making me laugh and you always have something interesting to say. like you truly are the queen of taking my cursed plots and making them more awesome with your brilliant as fuck ideas. the way your brain works when it comes to visuals has honestly helped me imagine things so much better and has helped make roleplay fun for me again. here’s hoping for a happy new year to you and a good year for our friendship! 

@coolgirlwrites

lol me and you always come back to each other even when we disappear and our ships are like some of the longest running ships i’ve ever had. i love our babies but i love you even more and i’m so blessed that we met each other all those years ago on that stupid ass forum where we both were young and had no idea how to write. 

@sweetwinewrites

tee, the tea is that i love you and you’re my girl. i love sending you things that will traumatize you but i mostly send them because i know deep down they will make you laugh and i love the idea of you laughing, soooooo. but yeah, i hope you have a happy new year! i love you and your characters and you mean so much to me!

@fayelistic

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyeee. you are my best forum friend!!! i’m so happy you reached out to plot with me 2 (or was it 3 years ago) on ignite because you have quickly became a best friend to me. i love you so fucking much and our threads and comms are always super fucking exciting to me. thanks for humoring me all the time and telling me about your life. i love hearing about it. and i love you. happy new year!

@shesuperlit​

ma’am! i must confess that i love everything you have ever produced and i see you as writing god soooooo uhm, yes. thanks for sharing your characters with me and like making me laugh my ass off with our ridiculous headcanon scenes and threads. and tbh making me laugh as  a whole jkfhskjdhsf have a happy new year!!!!!!!!!

@leiaskywclker

omg omg omg i’ve basically known you ages and have followed you for ages but haven’t really spoken to you until now? like i’m surprised since we had the og brotp maura x mia but like we never really talked. you were always liking and commenting on my self threads and that always made me feel really good tho, so thanks. and i’m glad we talk now because you’re cool and have such brilliant characters and ideas and i’m so glad that i’m getting to know them! happy new year!

@theycallmeloveless​

lmfao we’ve only known each other a few months but honestly i love talking to you. like sure we both started talking because we were obsessed with the clown movie and richie tozier but now i’ve noticed we have more in common and i think that’s pretty fucking neat. i am so happy that we have so many plots together and can’t wait to plot more with you. BUT REMEMBER, PENNY THIGHS THE ASS CLAPPING CLOWN ;) wonk djfhdjksfs

@lostghoul​

grimm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uhm, hello grimm!!!!!!!!!!! everytime we talk i always get so much out of you. we don’t talk too much but i know so fucking much about georgia and victoria due to what you’ve told me and i love them and our ships so much. you can tell you put a lot of thought into them and your work and it makes me honored to write with you. also also also our ooc conversations are fucking awesome always. so there’s that too. lots of love and happy new year!

@leftlipstick​

honestly, jess!!! i am so fucking thankful that you write with me because you are truly such a fantastic writer!!! i feel like every thread we have together i learn something new and i’m in awe of everything you do and every character i’ve gotten to write with!!!  i’m so fucking happy that we talk, whether it’s about ooc things or ic things. and i’m so happy that you’re patient with me because sometimes i am so slow. but i hope that the new year is good for you and i can’t wait to write with you in this new year and maybe grow closer to you as a friend!

@undermyanumbrella​

THE QUEEN OF BEAUTIFUL HEADCANONS. seriously, it is so hard to find people who headcanon as much as i do, but i found you and it was like recieving the best birthday gift ever. xD i love our girls and i love that you headcanon with me because you can tell you put so much work into abigail. also i think you’re just pretty cool as a whole, so i hope that our friendship can develop in the new future and that we can add some extra muses to our roster. but omg happy new year, queen!

@pretendsweetly

abby you are such a sweetheart and i’m so happy to have known you. you are such a talented writer and every time you post a response to one of our threads, i’m like “!!!!” because your responses are always so good. i also enjoy hearing from you whenever you message me because you always have something interesting to say. oh and you share my love of ladies loving ladies so i’m like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. happy new years!! i hope our friendship flourishes in the new year!

@bvckywrites​

uhm hello adrian! ameezing, bad bitch adrian! hope you have a happy new year and i hope it treats you well. i feel like everytime we’ve spoken it’s been an absolute treat and i’m so fucking happy that you’re patient with me even though i can sometimes be a goddamn slowpoke. but holy shit. i love all of your characters so much. they are all differenet and all have lots of depth, so i’m happy that you let them interact with my muses. and i’m happy for any conversations that we have!

@sircnss

we don’t talk because i’m a shy dumbass who’s a bit intimidated by you because you seem cool and i’m dumb of ass. but you are such a good writer! i love our little ship thing with claudia and holly! their relationship is refreshing and it’s interesting to see where it goes. have a happy new year!!

@pmbrlys

i don’t even know if you’re around anymore, but honestly, headcanoning with you was truly one of the best headcanoning experiences ever. like you know so much about your boys and any scenario i threw at you you threw something cool back at me and i was so in awe of it. our ooc conversations were cool too and i’m so happy that we got to talk in general because you seem great!

@aholywrathincurred

angie, we’ve been talking for ages. i love our ships and i love you even more. we might not talk as much as we used to but i’m so thankful to have met you and i feel like you’ve made some of my rather boring years a lot of fun. so thank you for being my pal and happy new year!!

@nastyevilgirl

we haven’t known each other too long but you are talented and lovely and yeeeeeeeeeeeah we have a lot of plots already because we vibe so well. have a good year and i hope we continue being friends and developing our boos!

[thechaoscryptid]

Writer’s Tag Game, Bouncy’s Edition

Many thanks to @tipsyraconteur for tagging me ❤❤ I know I said this was going to be my strictly Naruto blog but there’s definitely some of my other fandoms that are going to worm their way in heh.

Rules: brag to your heart’s content, you’re awesome, and then tag 5-10 people to do the same.

I’m tagging (if you’d like to play, no obligation): @magnustesla, @scarecrowinthewoods, @dunloth, @caped-ace, @alexianite, @benicemurphy, and @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul (you Voltron peeps, it’s Ary 😉)

1) What’s a paragraph you’ve written that you’re really proud of?

From Order and Obedience (KakaIru): 

“Think Konoha’s dog is going to be an easy fuck, ranger?” Kakashi asked, eyeing every possible exit. Just in case. “That my allegiance is so easily swayed?”

“I think if you were still wearing your boots you’d be trembling in them,��� Iruka said without missing a beat. “Your desire to serve the light may not make sense to me, but even I can see that the way your skin drinks in the moon would be pleasing to any god. I’m not demanding darkness, only obedience.”

2) Pick a favorite scene from your longest fic!

The scene in Wake the White Wolf (KakaIru) where Sera and Kakashi part ways. I still get chills at the lines “You are no longer my problem. I am no longer your whore.” There’s plenty of fantastic scenes from that fic, but that still remains one of my favorites. That whole arc, really, from when she finds out the news to when it’s finally 100% over. 

3) Give us a snippet of your most recent WIP:

Voltron! This is a part of one of my stories for the Sheith Big Bang coming up:

A galaxy will never be enough to contain my love for you. 

Mechanically, Keith’s hands go through the motions of powering up Black as Krolia’s voice comes through the comm link. It’s another diplomacy mission--another he’d rather skip in favor of liberating some far off colony from oppressors or just staying in bed, unmoving. The lion doesn’t speak to him the way she used to, and neither does anything else. The universe, for all its glory, has become simple.

Dull.

Grey, even with color sprays from passing planets and nebulas.

He chews on the side of his lip as he lets his head tip to the side, checking to make sure things are in order. His mother’s still rattling off information about the mission and he just wants to tell her to be quiet, he’ll figure it out on his own later. He wants to hear the ghost of Shiro’s voice whispering it loves him again.

Keith…

Ghosts are never enough, but Shiro’s I’ll love you until forever ends echoing in his head assuages the pre-mission blues. “Not that it’s ever anything else these days,” he says under his breath. Krolia asks what he said, and he blames it on a squeaky chair. “Gotta get in here and tune up the cockpit when I’m back. Project for Shiro and I.”

“Well, just as long as it doesn’t interfere with things now. You ready to give ‘em hell?”

Keith pastes a smile on his face, though he knows she’s not on the video link. “Would you expect anything different?”

4) If all of your published fics sparred, who would win and why?

Ohh, tough one...based off of stats, Wake the White Wolf, no question. Off of personal preference? Probably Crescendo (SakuOro) right now. 

5) What’s a fic/author you’ve taken inspiration from and in which one of your works did you incorporate that inspiration?

I won’t lie, Tipsy, a lot of my recent style choices came from Scar Tissue 😅 I found I really enjoy storytelling in present tense, with longer flowing lines punctuated by short lil ones for emphasis. It’s appeared in...most of my recent stuff? I switched within the last year or so.

(putting the rest under a cut because there’s some longer answers)

6) Which fanfiction character do you enjoy writing the most? In which one of your fics do you think you wrote them best?

This is another tough one xD I think I actually have to go with a three part answer here, though really, I enjoy writing so many more.

Kakashi Hatake: Shatter Me (KakaIru), best fic

Dazai Osamu: Marionette (Dazushi), best fic

Keith Kogane: since I can’t tell which one of my bang fics yet, I’ll go with my favorite published, which is Unsteady (Sheith). Truly, it’s going to be the fic from the above snippet hehe

7) Smut or fluff? Give us a sneak peek of your favorite fluffy/smutty scene you’ve written.

Mmm, smut. I’ve really got to be in the right mood for fluff, and my not-so-guilty pleasure reading is angsty smut.

My favorite fluffy/smutty scene...I think it’s probably from Reciprocity (KakaSaku)!

He wishes he still had the Sharingan to capture these moments. Sakura’s still got her thin undershirt on, but the delicate hollows of her collarbones call to him as she reaches over to light their lantern. There will be no fire tonight save for the one burning low and heavy in his stomach, as if he’s swallowed molten rock.

“Do I need to do the rest?” she says, dragging her hands up her legs as she stands. “Should I strip for you, Kakashi?”

He stands along with her and tugs off his mask first, then his shirt. Sakura gasps as the angry red of fresh scars is revealed, fingers twitching toward him before he shakes his head. “Let me,” he murmurs.

Inch by inch, the pale curve of her stomach is revealed. Shadows flicker and dance over it along with the flames, and when Kakashi pulls Sakura’s shirt the entire way off he thinks not even the prettiest sunset could compare. There’s several scars--no shinobi makes it out without them--and no shortage of muscle packed into her small frame, but somehow she makes a battleborn body beautiful.

Sakura makes life beautiful.

Her breath hitches when he tells her this, something shifting in her at the tender touch of his lips against her forehead. “You’re sure you don’t want me to just jump you right now?” she says breathlessly.

“No jumping,” he says. “Only falling.”

8) What’s a scene in one of your fics you wish you would receive fanart for?

Uh, literally any one 😅 My top choice, though, I think would be of my favorite OT3 in Desperately:

“I’ll be a lot cuter when the day comes.” Sakura shoved the bandana up and crunched her nose as she looked back with Ibiki. “You might have to leave me at the altar to catch everyone fainting at the sight of me.”

Ibiki’s laugh rumbled through the living room as he gathered her back to his chest. “We’re never leaving you there, baby, you know we couldn’t,” he said. “Or maybe we could take turns catching them. How d’you think your clothes will hold up, Rai?”

“They’ll be fine. I volunteer for catching duty as long as it’s you two falling for me at the end,” he said, spreading his arms over the back of the couch as he watched them sway. “And of course, falling into bed with me later.” Ibiki cocked an eyebrow as Sakura giggled into his scarred chest. “What, you think I”m joking?”

“Never considered it,” Ibiki said. He pulled away from Sakura to trail his hand up her arm, urging her to spin. His uniform lifted from her creamy skin and Raidou sucked in a breath as the purple lace on the bottom of her underwear was revealed. She knew he couldn’t resist those, and Ibiki certainly didn’t mind them either.

“Come here,” he said. Ibiki let her go and gave her a gentle push toward Raidou’s outstretched arms before flopping next to them as the song began to repeat. “I saw those. You can’t hide them from me.” Her hair tickled his face as he kissed over her cheek down to her ear. “Wearing my husband’s shirt and my wife-to-be’s favorite underwear, how scandalous, Sakura,” he purred.

“I’m sure your wife-to-be will be so very displeased I stole them,” she said, pulling back with a mock pout before turning to beg a kiss from Ibiki. “I hear she picked them specifically for tonight because she wanted to get laid.”

9) Would you ever consider turning one of your fics into a podfic? If no, why not?

Not on my own? I have hearing problems, so it’s just really never occurred to me. If anyone else wanted to, though, I wouldn’t say no!

10) The best (or your favourite) 5 reviews you’ve ever gotten! Don’t forget to tell us which one of your fics received them!

There’s so many 😭😭 My commenters are all fucking awesome, but I’ll trawl my saved comments for some highlights!

P5eud0Nym on Wake the White Wolf (KakaIru omegaverse): So, I just wanted to say you’ve been doing a fantastic job. I appreciate that this isn’t, and hasn’t at any point been, a dumb tropey kink fic. That you’ve taken the time to put so much heart into all of this. The fact that you’re exploring the politics, the social issues, and writing all of the characters as being more than just their A/B/O designations, so good. The multifaceted way you write is just really and truly refreshing. It’s obvious how much work and thought you put into this. You’re tackling a lot of really important stuff, from consent to civil rights, and it’s some grade A USDA certified Good Shit. Thanks for the fic and keep up the good work <3

Lilmeliz on Monster (ShigaDabi): AAAAAAA GUARANTEED I CAN BLOW YOUR MIND mwa. Please excuse the lame dua lipa reference I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I couldn’t-- Delicious. Finally some fucking good food. I want to congratulate you. This is such a beautiful, touching, heartwarming masterpiece. I even cried a little. I usually read shiggy with his dark past and his (soul) scars and all that jazz, and venturing into the thought of him having a mere fiber of good will in himself, in his actual self, is risky and prone to be ooc. But here it sounds right. It feels personal, private and even possible, my boi :( Dabi is an angel, I’m dying. I like the reminder “they lie, they kill...” Yes he’s an angel but he’s still evil. I don’t know what else to add but really, this is stunning! IM GONNA TATTOO THISSS amazing work 

Prism0467 on Forbidden (KakaIru): You have written their mutual dependency with such nurturing attention to detail I feel as if I know them. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt...embraced by a work of fanfiction before now...this may well be a first. Your enthusiasm for this pairing comes through loud and clear, I’ll tell you that :)

PearlBear on Crescendo (SakuOro): Wow. Just wow. This is brilliant, heart-wrenching, creative and extremely, extremely well-written. You have such a way with words, I was actually crying. And you adapt their lives as shinobi so seamlessly to situations that happen in real life (how many partners give up on possibilities for their significant one and get nothing in return?). This story managed to move me deeply and all the while, they all were in-character (it hurt when Tsunade looked at Orochimaru in the same way they all do, also loved how Tobirama and Madara are his parents). The omegaverse wasn’t heavy at all, instead it’s well integrated enough that I, who don’t particularly like it, barely noticed and completely accepted it. It’s just the way things are. You manage to convey so, so much in a few words. I’m amazed. So, thank you for sharing this! I am very, very excited for what’s next, whether Orochimaru experiments to save himself, whether Sakumo commits suicide (or worse, dies on this mission), whether... So many possibilities. Your story is outstanding. Thank you for writing this gem!

(insert special shoutout to Tipsy’s review of Testing the Waters...)

and no comment appreciation section would be complete without at least one from @magnustesla! 

This one from Of Scale and Steel (Sheith naga AU): Ary, sometimes I am left speechless and I don’t quite know how to articulate my thoughts after reading one of your fics. Like, everything is just so...so brilliant that it’s like my brain fucks off when I try to get my thoughts down onto a page. Turning well known and beloved characters into something else entirely isn’t easy and often they miss the mark leaving the reader not really connecting with it. But you, you are brilliant and clever in all that you write because damn, I love Naga Keith. It feels like it IS part of canon. And your oc? Super adorable and she just belongs. I really loved her interactions with Shiro and the chewing on his finger had me rollling because it reminded me of when J would test everything by chomping it. Not relevant but it sparked a good laugh from me, especially because it is totally something kids do. I’m so fucking proud of you and I’m excited to see you get your mojo back with this fandom. Love you ❤

[vivypotter]

Vivy’s Harry Potter Fic Recs

I’ve had a load of people ask me for my favourite tomarry fics, so I thought I’d compile a fic rec! This will probably be updated as I think of things. However, I have a lot of favourite fics which aren’t Tomarry, so I thought I’d add a few other pairings as well. I think I’ll put up a few recs of other fandoms as well when I get ‘round to it, like Hannibal or the Hobbit (I have weird reading habits okay?) It’ll help me find them too xD.

Tom Riddle or Voldemort/Harry Potter

Consuming Shadows by Child_OTKW (WIP)

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.

I feel this is genuinely one of the best Tomarry fanfics maybe ever written, and I’m sure you’ve probably read it since it’s so popular - but I thought I’d recommend it anyway! It’s not finished, but there’s enough of it to really sink your teeth into and action is properly going down right now. Harry is such an interesting character and his cat and mouse dynamic with Voldemort is so entertaining. I anxiously wait for every update!

Set the Sails (and don’t look back) by Terrific Lunacy (Complete)

1724. All Harry wanted to do was to cross the Atlantic and start his apprenticeship under one of the most renowned physicians. Tom Riddle is convinced everything floating in the seven seas belongs to him. That includes ship-wrecked, green-eyed youths. Especially if they tell him to fuck off.

This is a fic that’s really stuck with me. It’s complete (a miracle in the tomarry fandom) and there’s a fun back-and-forth between Voldemort and Harry. Our goodhearted Harry is a doctor! And for some reason, I’ve been really into Pirate AUs recently.

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars by haplesshippo (Complete)

Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.

Another pirate AU, kind of! But this one is in space! And it’s actually more of a Star Trek AU. Okay, it’s not really a pirate AU but I wanted to keep the theme going. This is such a freaking good fic- the relationship between Tom and Harry is very unusual (not as combative as the last two fics) and there are some nice twists, as well as combination of HP lore and what I assume is Star Trek (I’ve never seen it okay). And the extended cast is excellent. I fully recommend!

The Dragon's Mate by Strange_Soulmates (Complete fics but WIP series)

Harry Potter has recently escaped from his dragon-guarded tower. So has his fellow prisoner - the dragon who was enchanted to guard him. Harry's friend is missing, however, and so he sets off to assure himself of his well-being before he finds the person responsible for imprisoning them both. Accompanied by a stranger with a familiar name, Harry finds himself with more questions than answers as he slowly learns about the customs of dragons and the history of the dragon he befriended, the fearsome Voldemort.

I really love pretty much all of Strange_Soulmates’ fics, but this is definitely my favourite (and maybe the only complete one? Don’t quote me on that.) The characters are so well done, and although I love the first fic a little more than the second, they are both excellent reads! Dragons and wizards? Yes, please!

Everything's Fine in the Beast Division by Merrinpippy (Complete)

Harry's lifelong ambition is to become an auror, but as his knowledge of Dangerous Beasts is somewhat lacking, Newt Scamander agrees to take him on as an apprentice. Contrary to the Weasley twins' predictions that Harry would die of boredom, Harry finds his time at the Ministry very interesting, and befriending the very attractive Tom Riddle doesn't hurt at all- in fact, quite the opposite.

This is such a fantastic fanfiction, and a crossover with Fantastic Beasts (a franchise I can’t stand but that’s a conversation for another time). It manages to be fluffy without going OOC which is difficult for tomarry fics, and the supporting cast are adorable!

To Be Set Free by Merrinpippy

Harry Potter, raised and abused by the Dursleys ever since his parents died, lives in the cupboard under the stairs. He has no friends or family who love him and his life is dull until one day a letter arrives arrives for him, written in green ink, that promises freedom. Sounds familiar, right?

King Thomas Riddle's illness combined with his political paranoia pushes him to arrange three royal balls, after which his son, Prince Tom Riddle, must choose a guest to marry, thereby securing the kingdom's future and solidifying their strength in the eyes of their allies/enemies. Tom is convinced that he will be able to defy his father and choose no-one, or at least he is until at the first ball he meets an attractive stranger with dark hair and glasses who won't tell anyone his name...

This is also excellent, and I love a good Fairytale AU. Merrinpippy has some really good stuff. I love all of it!

As Clichéd as Clichés Go by thecrimsonmonarch (One-shot)

Harry Potter wasn't known for his social skills, mainly because they were practically non-existent.

This is a bit random but very fun. Harry is a fucking dork. That’s all there is to say. A thoroughly amusing Lawyer AU.

Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus by The Carnivorous Muffin (WIP)

As the unwitting personification of Death, reality exists to Lily through the veil of a backstage curtain, a transient stage show performed by actors who take their roles only too seriously. But as the Girl-Who-Lived, Lily's role to play is the most important of all, and come hell or high water play it she will, regardless of how awful Wizard Lenin seems to think she is at her job.

This is a still-uploading fanfic and one of my faves. It’s not for everyone- it’s a fem!Harry and she’s so different that she’s really an OC to be honest, and the story is slightly complicated. This is certainly not a fic to go for if you want IC characters. But I really love the writing and the ideas and it’s basically a new, fascinating universe. And even if they’re not IC, I love the characters all dearly. The Carnivorous Muffin is certainly an extremely talented writer- all of her stuff is excellent.

Little Bits by lordmarvoloriddle

Inspired by Cinderella. Only there's no prince and surely no one is singing about their feelings and Harry's life could be a lot worse than having three step-brothers and a father who didn't liked him. He's going to be proven right.

This is such a bloody creepy fic and so so good. The ending is a complete twist and you should definitely read it!

Drarry

Draw a Line from Your Heart to Mine by CreateImagineWrite (Complete)

Being Harry Potter's best friend isn't always fame and beating off raving fans. It's also the anxiety of hearing your best mate's been cursed by another Dark Lord, or love potioned by some crazy woman. Or having his boyfriend you knew nothing about turn up on the Burrow's doorstep.

This is a bit of a random inclusion, but I was just reading this and it is SO GOOD. Perhaps a bit cliched in places, but Ron Weasley’s inner monologue makes up for it.

Turn by Saras_Girl

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

This is an also an excellent fic that I read bloody ages ago and has apparently stuck with me. There’s this whole Harry going into an alternate dimension where he’s married to Draco Malfoy plot, but the really beautiful thing is Harry exploring his dissatisfaction with his life- through carpentry! I know it sounds like a crack fic, but it’s not- it’s a gorgeously written fic.

Away Childish Things by lettered

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

This does the ‘Harry was abused’ revelation so well and really interestingly explores both Harry and Draco’s childhood. The overarching plot is also excellently done, which can’t always be said for character-focused fics!

Jily

#Jily by Chie (Chierafied) (One-shot)

Twitter seemed awash with the hashtag Jily. Lily blinked at in confusion, until she realised it was one of those silly couple monikers people had bestowed on her and Potter. …Though there was a small dissenting crowd following a tweet from Potter’s bandmate Sirius Black: Jily? Hah! More like LAMES.

This is such a fucking cute one-shot. I love social media AUs (if you find any, send them my way), so I loved this!

The Rise and Fall of the Extraordinary Jilysanschilly: Including Excerpts of their Best Collected Works by elanev91 (One-shot)

James Potter and Lily Evans are both wildly successful YouTubers and Sirius cannot believe that people ship them enough to write erotic fanfiction about them. 

You might be picking up on my love of modern Jily AUs. This is so cute, Sirius is weirdly IC as he gets caught up in a smut addiction and James and Lily don’t hate each other from the beginning so that’s fun. A very sweet YouTuber AU.

Hit the Like Button by elixirsoflife (One-shot)

YouTube star James Potter is living it up at uni: filming videos, getting drunk and professing his love for aspiring singer Lily Evans to anyone who'll listen.

It’s another modern AU, but this time, Lily is a famous singer! This was fucking adorable, enough said.

The White Album by cgner (Complete)

James poses as an advice charm in Lily's diary. He's really got to start thinking through his shenanigans.

This is the strangest mix of angst and fluff that I’ve ever read, but it really, really works. It’s also kind of a crossover, as it’s written by the co-author of:

Haggis from Algernon by Rude Gus (Complete)

The fic about nothing.

Everything written by both Rude Gus and cgner is brilliant (not a surprise as they’re almost the same person), but Haggis really is a classic. And check out their Bachelor AU fic! It’s surprisingly brilliant.

Gen and Misc

Kid by Anonymous (Completed)

A Potion's "accident" turns Harry into an eight year old. Draco Malfoy begins planning his kidnapping/conversion to the Dark Side. But Harry's a passive-aggressive, revenge-obsessed little bastard. Maybe Draco will wait on that whole Dark Lord thing… 

Such a cute fic! A really nice character study of Draco and cute kid Harry is always a bonus. I’m not usually a Draco Malfoy fan, but this is a great fic.

Harveste by kyaru-chan (Complete fics but WIP series - probs abandoned)

He's done it. He's just five years old, but he's finally done it. The Dursleys are gone. And now he's with a new family who seems just as twisted as he is. How strange.

This is a really weird fic series. It’s actually an Addams family AU? Harry kills the Dursleys and gets adopted by the Addams family, and then there’s a separate fic for each HP book up to Half-Blood Prince, where I think they stopped. It definitely still worth a read though. Harry is certainly not IC but it’s a fascinating combination of the two universes with all the quirky Addams family humour. It’s certainly a bit of a crack fic to read when you’re down.

Sarcasm and Slytherin by sunmoonandstars (Complete stories but WIP series)

After ten years of misery with the Dursleys, Harry Potter learns that he has magic. Except, in this story, it's not a surprise-the only surprise is that there are others like him. Including his twin brother, Julian Potter, the savior of the Wizarding world.

This isn't the Harry you think you know.

This is WBWL kind of story (although we don’t know if Harry actually is the BWL yet. Harry is a really interesting character and his relationship with his family- especially Jules - is very well developed and nuanced. Harry’s friendships and the authors interpretation of Slytherin house is also a new twist on old tropes- it feels very fresh! I’m eagerly waiting for updates!

So there it is. Just some of my HP faves. I’m considering doing one for Hannibal, Yuri on Ice, The Hobbit, Labyrinth (my tastes are so weird) etc, so let me know if you’re interested!

[sad-panda-dib-blog]

Just gonna drop this here and run. ;;; v ;;;

Okay, so like, some of you guys have been asking for me to upload some of my works here, so here I go at last. Please don't hurt me. ; v ;

My name is Pat and I'm one of the original authors for that god-awful ZADR fanfic, "ZADR Orange." It's likely one of the cringiest fanfics I've ever written in my life, but like, also the thing that has been feeding my soul for the past 10 years of working on it. The beginning is rushed and terrible, the characters are OOC, and my writing from back then is just...blah. HOWEVER it's become something I can't let go of and so I continue to plague the fandom with its continued existence even after all these years of posting. Some people have come to love it, others hate it to its core, but for me, it's that thing that has given my life purpose (as stupid as that may sound). It's pushed me to make improvements in my writing, even if you can't necessarily see those improvements in the earliest chapters of the work (and by earliest chapters, I mean like the first 150 of them. Yep, that's how long it took me to not suck as much as I did back then). To this day, I continue to upload new content and VERY SLOWLY make revisions to its beginning. Perhaps someday it will be a halfway decent work of fiction in the fandom and not a target for criticism as mentioned in this hate Wiki:  https://toxicfandomsandhatedoms.miraheze.org/wiki/Invader_Zim_Fandom (which I really can't argue with. XD It is pretty cringe-worthy).

There are like a million other fics posted in this fandom that far surpass anything that I could ever hope to write, but still, I strive to improve my works constantly. I know I've gotten a lot of love and support from some fans over the years, but my inner critic is always there to remind me that if I hadn't been the one to write it myself, I likely would have passed it up as a reader simply for its rushed formatting, dialogue, and word flow. Also for the copious amounts of pointless filler word vomit I tend to get into because I think it's interesting at the time only to realize later that I was simply rambling. But ah well. That's just how it goes sometimes, especially when writing an RP (Oh, did I mention that this story was originally a role play with another person? Yeah, there's that too. Since I was the one writing our parts into narrative though, I feel solely responsible for butchering what could have been a decent story if I just hadn't rushed the beginning bits so much). Umm...But yeah, anyways, moving on.

As I mentioned above, this story has also been accused of portraying the characters as WAY OOC from the show. Once again, my fault because I have a tendency towards writing Dib as a whiny little overemotional bitch most of the time. Sorry about that. ; v ; It's a preference in most of my writing with him though. To me personally, what makes ZADR so appealing in the long run, is exploring the emotional torment of somebody who has been called crazy all his life. Dib is just the saddest little stubborn panda bear in all of my writing and I heavily prefer works in which he is the submissive to Zim. Like, Zim is adorable in his own right, but I can't imagine him simply surrendering his dominance to Dib, regardless of how much taller Dib might ever grow. Plus, in my head, Dib will always be that hopeless virgin type of character (even if Zim IS fucking his brains out half the time in my works). Zim's not as clueless as he may seem sometimes either. Like, he's lived a whole other life long before he came to Earth. I imagine he's seen some things and experienced more in his life than Dib has, even if one of the main consensus is that Irken's mature more slowly than humans. Irken society is very different from human society in my mind so I imagine some things are more normal for Irkens than other things (but I won't get into that here. That's a post for a different point in time.)

Whoo boy, this is getting long, and I haven't even posted a link to the actual story yet. ; v ; I guess what I'm trying to say though is that I have a very personal way of viewing and portraying the characters in my work. Perhaps that's why it gets both positive and negative feedback from people. I don't expect everybody to agree with or even like my work, but I simply ask that it not be crushed into the ground for its flaws. Above all else, I write my stories for fun and to see my own improvement. And yes, I know it may seem weird that I'm so paranoid about advertising a work that's been present in this fandom for YEARS now (especially as it used to be advertised quite a lot back when I was still writing it with my co-writer), but let's just say this fandom has left me with some pretty nasty battle scars in the past. I know the haters will always exist and they're better off ignored, but I've had to see close friends come and go from this fandom as a result of that hate. I don't understand the fixation some people have with drama in this fandom. Yes, you're entitled to an opinion, but please don't shove it in other people's faces. It's like some people enjoy intentionally being assholes online and trying to ruin other people's fun. I've tried to distance myself from that sort of hatred because I don't need that sort of stress in my life any longer. But in doing so, it DOES make it harder to interact with the nicer fans out there/continue posting my works, regardless of how long I've been in the fandom. Also, I was kind of an attack dog back in the day when it came to defending some of my friends, which kind of put me in a bad light to some people in the fandom for a while. Whoops. My bad. As much as I hated that sort of drama, I was always the first to jump in and make an ass of myself when it came to defending my friend. Hahaha. <XD

Gah! I'm stalling now. Here's my shit for those of you who were asking: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5995185/1/ZADR-Orange

(This links to the PG-13 version uploaded on Fanfiction.net. An adult version is also available for 18 + viewers over on DeviantART).

https://www.deviantart.com/dib-the-hybrid/art/ZADR-Orange-Chapter-001-277634496

And for those of you who weren't asking for it, sorry to spam the ZADR tag with my bullshit. ; v ;

Oh, and while I'm at it, since this Tumblr account IS a joint account with another one of my co-writers, Sass (Sassafrass002 over DeviantART. Go check her out! Her art is amazing and she deserves all the love in the world for it. <3  https://www.deviantart.com/sassafrass002), here's another set of links to yet another ZADR roleplay we've been writing together for years now (almost as long as ZO, actually). :> We just recently posted chapter 100 of our story and have so much more to add onto it. Once again though, we do lean towards a softer side of ZADR so it'll likely be OOC to many. I feel this work to be at least a little less cringe worthy though. :> Plus she does amazing preview images to go along with the chapters.

(PG-13 FanFiction.net Version: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7311546/1/Dib-Is-Sick )

(18+ DeviantArt Version: https://www.deviantart.com/sassafrass002/art/Dib-is-Sick-Chapter-1-254253924 )

I might advertise some other stories of mine at a later point in time, but for right now, these two are the ones that I've invested the most time into. They've kept my mind occupied with ideas for them for years, and I doubt I'll ever be able to move on from them until they're actually complete. (Technically DIS IS complete. Just not all posted yet. But we have a sequel in the works currently that I hope we eventually get to posting also! :>)

Enjoy! :> ...Or not. ; v ; I think I'm going to run away and hide now.

[fallxnprxnce]

Has Prince Nuada ever spoken too other fae Kings/kingdoms about his ideas on giving the world back to them? Has he been denied, decided against it or just not considered it? I feel that other fae races would be interested in joining him or at least discussing with it. I hope you are doing well, and thank you!

This is a great topic! I apologize forthis being so late, but I didn’t want to write just a quick answer, so I had towait until I had the proper amount of time and brainpower to do the thing, heh.

So… there are two ways to answer thesequestions. I have mused on this myself, imagining what Nuada would have doneand how other races would have reacted, and I have also discussed it atlength  - both IC and OOC – with a goodfriend of mine and some of her muses. One muse in particular, actually, but sheshall remain nameless. She knows who she is. XD

As far as I’ve mused on the subject,early on Nuada would have approached other races about his gripes with humans,and later about his plans to eradicate them. Most other races of fae were notonly not interested in joining his cause but figured he would never see it cometo fruition anyway. They thought it was the ramblings of a petulant prince andnothing more.

The reason for this is because they seea war with humans as just as catastrophic as what the humans might do to theearth, except quicker and with a higher loss of fae life than if they just waitthings out. Chances are, most fae races will acclimate over timebiologically to things like pollution (after all, humans have in many ways),and will evolve and adapt in other ways to continue on as the earth changes.And the earth will change. I thinkthat’s something major that fae generally understand that Nuada does not isthat everything changes. Nothing remains the same forever. One must adapt tochange, not resist it. Versatility during hardship and change is what ensuressurvival, not exile and resistance.

The other reason they would not want to joinhim is becauseit sets a dangerous political precedent. Fae races and plenty of othertypes of non-humans races can be difficult to deal with, it’s true. They can bewarlike, reclusive, territorial, selfish, antagonistic… all of those things.However, when it comes to the overall planet and causes and cycles greater thanall races combined, the fae realize that cooperation is key. That is not to saythey’re going to start breaking bread with orcs and ghouls and certain speciesof trolls anytime soon, but it’s more like a general understanding of we’re all in this together. If Nuada,who is a representative of high Elven races whether he wants or intends to beor not, were to move against the race of humans and obliterate them, that meansthat anyone who has a gripe with anyone else can just decree or bring aboutgenocide in order to solve their problem. It’s a dire precedent to set, and it’snot one that is appreciated by anynon-human races, least of all the fae ones.

Biodiversity is celebrated among non-humans. Again, that does not mean all races like allothers, not by a long shot, but it just means that they are glad there are somany different types of races on earth. It keeps ecosystems alive, keeps cretainpopulations and borders at bay, and generally makes for an interesting earth tolive on. To wipe out one of the most dominant races on earth (just speaking inthe context of population size) should not and is not a viable or sustainable option. Fae races believe if Nuadagoes down that path, he will find that out a lot quicker than he will be ableto set his plan into motion.

Now… as far as what my friend and Ihave discussed both IC and OOC, it is her personal opinion and that of some ofher non-human muses that fae races wouldn’t just shake their head, call Nuadaan insolent upstart, and leave him to the karma of the universe to either righthim or stop him depending on how far he takes his plan, but rather they wouldactively seek to kill him themselves if things went too far. Before that? Theywould make it abundantly clear that they believe he is not only bigoted,hateful, and masquerading the horrors of genocide as a righteous path, but heis also incredibly ignorant and genuinely dumb. I’m paraphrasing for a specificmuse in particular, and if that muse would like to add anything to this littlemeta, she is invited to do so. I shall tag her associated human here: @queenrookandbishop

Why all the snark, rage, and intensedislike for Nuada from this muse and others? Aside from agreeing with myearlier sentiment of genocide not being a viable answer to anything, there are severalof very pointed reasons as to why fae races or any non-human races would beagainst eliminating humans, according to this outspoken muse. She has hit Nuadawith almost all of them personally by now I think, but he is showing clearsymptoms of pigheadedness. Surprise, surprise. Nevertheless, she’s right, so I shall the most important reasonsto not wipe out humans here:

1) Humans take care of a lot of shit on earth,so who is going to do that when they’re all gone? Yes, human make a lot of garbage and waste.Yes, they pollute. But they also clean up, remediate, treat, manage, store, andotherwise deal with their waste as well. Not all of it, to be sure, but enoughof it such that if all the humans disappeared tomorrow, everybody left behindwould be in big trouble in really not a lot of time. No more water filtrationfor plastic wastes. No more maintenance of nuclear power plants. No moremanagement of toxic waste sites with drums of deadly and/or radioactivematerials. No more environmental groups instituting things like beach cleanups,litter pick-ups, tree-planting events, running animal preserves and rescue operations,etc. If all the humans disappeared tomorrow, we’d be left with all the bad andnone of the good as far as what humans have done so far with the world. Maybetheir factories would shut down, they would no longer drive cars that releasegreenhouse gases, they would no longer be drinking water bottles and discardingthem in waterways, they wouldn’t be farming mass quantities of land withchemical fertilizers and pesticides, but you know what…? What humans havealready done is enough to pollute the world for centuries to come. And… whatthey are doing to remediate pollution and keep toxic waste contained and keeppotentially dangerous facilities up and running will suddenly stop… and evenmore contamination will be released into the environment with none of thecountermeasure to clean it or stop it. The consequences of human life endingsuddenly on earth far outweigh the benefits, to both the actual planet as wellas all other non-human races that inhabit it.

2) What happens to all the bodies of dead humansonce this genocide occurs? There wouldbe more bodies left to rot worldwide than there are microbes and predators capableof dealing with all that biological waste. Sure, some corpses will be scavengedby predator animals… Bears, large cats, not to mention predatory fae and othernon-human races. And bacteria and fungi will go to work, putrefying and rottingbodies depending upon their specific metabolic needs. But the need for these thingsto occur will far be exceeded by the number of bodies there will be. The GoldenArmy will kill humans fast. So whenthis happens and there are bodies everywhere, predation and natural rotting andrecycling of nutrients in those bodies will take a decent amount of time. Inthe meantime, bodies are leaking putrid fluids into soils. They’re falling intowaterways and poisoning them. Diseases are breeding in corpses baking under thesun. So much gas is released that the air becomes poisonous, and furthercontributes to global warming. It’s really not a good picture at all. Manyraces on land and in the water will be poisoned to death if not made very ill.Weaker individuals will die, and those left will have to deal with all thebiological waste somehow or risk much of the earth being uninhabitable for along time.

3) Many non-human races rely on humans as afood source! Vampires, largetrolls, dragons, rusalka, ghouls, wendigo, lycanthropes, etc. all feed onhumans. Some, like vampires, are entirely limited to humans such that, were allhumans to disappear, so would they… or else they would be reduced to drinkinganimal blood and become weakened and sick depending on which set of vampirelore you’re going with. My point is, taking out an entire food source that hadpreviously been so prevalent is going to rock the web of life and the foodchain considerably. Some races may die from lack of food, while others willbegin to eat other races… like elves,perhaps, potentially bringing about the extinction of other races who cannotsupport that level of predation.

In short… fae races and othernon-humans would have the common sense and wisdom to understand that taking outall humans is not the answer. So why doesn’t Nuada? After 2K+ years of life,why isn’t he wiser? My first answer is to call bullshit on Guillermo del Torobecause I think Nuada would be wiserthan that after all that time. There’s really no way he couldn’t be. But I’mnot going to do that because GdT is awesome and saying the canon is flawed isjust a copout answer anyway. XD So… I will go with a two-fold answer of 1) hisisolation after going into exile put him in an environment where he did notreceive very much constructive criticism or opposition. He isolated himself,stewed about his own ideas, and sought out other like-minded individuals (e.g.,Mr. Wink). That kind of lifestyle served to maintain, preserve, and perpetuatehis own ignorance. And 2) Nuada was poisoned by his own emotions, as we all knowis a definitely thing with elves. His anger, sadness, hopelessness, depression,etc. over what was happening to his people actually worked much the same waydepression does in humans… it chemically changed his brain to continue thatnegative thought pattern feedback loop, which then also led to him becomingphysically damaged by his own emotions as well. Ultimately, his way of thinkingwas actually altered by his emotions after spending enough time wallowing inthem without the help he needed or the opposition he potentially should havehad.

I hope this answered your questions,and thank you for sending this in! =D

[monstruomuses]

ooc- 

I love making graphics, I´m not the best but I like what I do and I´ve come up with decent promos in the past. I´ve been working on icons this past week, mostly Raph´s and screen capping a lot of Kurt images from recent comics. Screen capping images from my other muses cause I´ll use them for something, oh and for my damn promo if I ever get to finish it hah. 

I am no where near done so, I´ll be stuck with the same icons I have until I finish cause I am like Baymax. I am not fast. 

However, now that I am back to my duck tales as in: adventures in iconing, I´ve been digging through old old old ass icon files to find something I could recycle and omg, the icon fashion of the late 90´s and the early 2000´s is just.. Interesting XD how come we thought it was important to add such tiny tiny tiny fonts and a lot of layers in a 100 x 100 image? Did we honestly think someone else could read it? 

Anyway, I´ll probably recycle some these icons I had for my OC Addison ( he has like 1000 icons or so ) because they were simple, mostly saturation and no font and a bunch of TMNT ones, I found like 4 icons of Kurt I could rescue, I have many but most of them are awful. Most of my HB icons are shitty too, they have a lot of layers and I felt like rinsing my eyes by just looking at them so, I´ll probably need to do new ones too. All my Abe Sapiens icons are good but, I´m not planning in bringing him to my multimuse or.. Am I? (Shit maybe I will)

 Also, I remembered how much I loved the Liz and Abe Ship. Never shipped her with Hellboy tbh, in fact I´m not sure if I´ll take ships for Hellboy, I headcanon him as not interested in romantic issues because my version is heavily influenced in the comics. 

And I had a lot of good memories from my long long time in the LOTR RPC back in GJ and IJ. Oh well.. 

Again, more long posts. I´ll shut up now. 

[notthemaincharacter]

I'll take a really fluffy request about Atsushi and his significant other. Giving you free range to do whatever you want!

I’m here! I haven’t forgotten you guys, I swear! I started writing this on Christmas Eve, but wasn’t able to finish it. Then Christmas and all those gatherings happened, so yeah. Please excuse the lateness of this scenario!

To dear anon who requested this, I didn’t realize how much I appreciate you letting me do what I want with this ask until I started writing it. This is my first ever request, so it lessened some pressure on my part. I took liberty with this piece, although I might have gone overboard a bit too much. I got carried away and might have dragged it, and I’m not sure if this comes off as more of a fluffball than a cheeseball, but I hope you still like it!

Also, I might have intentionally made Murasakibara OOC, that or I just suck at characterization XD But consider this as college setting, so he and the reader are in their early 20′s, maybe 21 :)

Under the cut because of the length~

Christmas is definitely one of your favorite time of the year, if not the most. You just love the festive cheer that fills the air and your eyes everywhere you go — the decorations and illuminations in the town square, the streets littered with romantic couples, and the excitement buzz of the crowd that resonates in the air and into people’s souls that for this one, blissfully peaceful day, a person can just forget his own troubles for once and just be merry. It’s one of the reasons you love Christmas — you want to go out there and experience all these couple love vibes often associated with the holiday.

Right now, though, you are inside the confinements of the apartment you share with your boyfriend, Murasakibara, idly watching him bake some confectionery which you don’t know the name of, like a professional pâtissier. You’re not complaining because, after all, you’re still spending the day with him. But based from previous experiences, you’re certain that making sweets and eating them afterwards are all he’d be interested in doing tonight, and an ultra romantic date involving strolling along the brightly lit city while holding hands, eating strawberry sponge cake, and buying couple things and souvenirs isn’t part of the activities he’ll likely be engaging in. Of course you’d never resent him for this, you already know the type of person your boyfriend is and you unconditionally love all two-hundred-and-eight centimeters of this man, it’s just that you’ve been looking forward to the holidays so you may be feeling a little lonely.

Well, it’s not like the two of you have spent the entire day in the kitchen. Around late afternoon, Murasakibara dragged you around town because he needed to buy ingredients for tonight’s dessert. The shopping took quite a while because he didn’t seem to find what he was looking for, or rather, he seemed to be looking especially for ingredients that will pass his preferences. But it’s not only that, you two somehow lost each other in the market. You left him for a moment to go to the bathroom, and on your way back you stumbled upon a store that was selling a very cute, fluffy pink sweater, and to your delight, it was paired with an equally fluffy black one. You wanted to buy them but soon realized that you had left your purse with Murasakibara and he wasn’t anywhere near where you’d left him. By the time you tracked him down, panting and exhaling visible puffs of breath into the air — he was distracted by a vendor giving free food samples — you both sprinted back to the shop, only to catch sight of another young couple walking away with smiling faces and your sweaters.

You sigh in regret at the memory. You didn’t even get to sightsee Akita in all its white Christmas glory, and now your sweaters had to be taken by someone else, too.

“Hm? Why are you pouting so hard, _____-chin?”

And indeed, you are. But damn, those are my sweaters!

You look at the innocent face of Murasakibara, who has momentarily stopped his work to gaze at you with those lilac eyes that seem more awake than usual, unaware of your inner musings. “It’s nothing, Atsushi. I’m just feeling a little cold, that’s all.”

Murasakibara silently takes in your lithe form sitting comfortably on a stool by the counter, while hugging a soft pillow you got from the living room sofa to your chest and legs that don’t quite reach the floor swaying back and forth alternately.

“Do you want a jacket? I’ll get one for you if you like.”

You smile at him and shake your head. “It’s okay, Atsushi, I’m really fine. Besides it’s not that cold anyway. Don’t worry about me and continue baking, okay?”

He considers you for a moment before complying. “Okay, if you say so~” To your slight surprise, however, he removes the gloves in his hands before walking over to you, placing a huge hand on top of your head and gently ruffling your hair. “_____-chin is so tiny. If I’m not with you you’re going to be knocked down so easily.”

“Wha—!” You try to duck to stop him from messing up your hair, but his hand feels good and warm to the touch, so you just make a pouty face again, but otherwise you let him. “I’m not tiny. You’re the one who’s so tall and huge like a giant that’s why you don’t feel the cold too much.”

“Hm? Doesn’t matter. You’re still tiny to me, _____-chin.”

You scowl at him, although your irritation is only skin deep. Even though for Murasakibara, he is only telling what he thinks is true, you can sense the underlying teasing in his tone. It’s very rarely shown, but you love this side of him.

“But I like it.”

Then he turns and walks back to the kitchen table to resume his baking, leaving you with a slightly open mouth that can only mutter a quiet “eh?” Still, your confusion at his unexpected words doesn’t stop the heat from rushing to your face, and spreading pleasant warmth throughout your system.

Face breaking into a wide grin, you jump down from your seat and follow Murasakibara to the table. He doesn’t make any comment as you position yourself beside him, watching him continue doing his wonders. And wonders, they are, miracles even. You’ve watched him cook and bake several times before, tasted the results of his exceptional talent and prowess in the kitchen. But now, up-close, you realize you’ve never really fully noticed or appreciated every single detail about this aspect of Murasakibara, until now.

For someone so huge and menacing-looking, the way his fingers move to roll or mold a piece of dough is so gentle and precise. His hands are very deft as they move between mixtures and ingredients to do exactly as he wants. And he does know what he wants. Your eyes travel to your boyfriend’s face, concentrating on the eyes that look so alive with passion. He’s pouring out all his knowledge about and love for baking to create something that he’ll also love. It makes sense since it’s him. He may not be interested in many things, but after all, when Murasakibara likes something — whether he admits it or not — he always gives it his very best shot.

Seeing the absolute dedication on Murasakibara’s face, you’re suddenly struck with inspiration — or you just want to have an outlet for the increasing fluffy feeling in your chest. One moment you’re watching how he intricately adds chocolate or other sugary stuff in the mixtures before they will be put in the oven, and the next you’re already washing your hands in the sink and wearing a pair of clean gloves before inching tentatively towards him and joining the mess on the table.

Murasakibara doesn’t protest when you start copying his actions and trying it on one of the mixtures that he has laid out for later. At first, you merely imitate everything he does down to the last detail, but once you get the hang of it a few moments later you start to deviate little by little, adding a quarter of a teaspoon more of syrup which then turns to half until it becomes one whole teaspoon-full of syrup more than necessary.

“_____-chin, you’re putting too much cream.”

You look up from squeezing almost half the contents of the container into your own unique and thoroughly loaded mixture to Murasakibara’s face. He is frowning slightly, eyebrows scrunched together in disapproval as he looks at your grinning face. You’re clearly enjoying this.

You wave your hand as if to dismiss his worry. “It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s only a bit more of this and that. That can’t possibly hurt, right?”

“But it’s already hurting my eye,” he grumbles.

You laugh. “It’s-o-kay~!” Turning back, you hum a tune and resume whatever it is you’ve been doing for the past ten minutes with unwavering enthusiasm and energy much like Murasakibara when he’s on the court.

This goes on for a few more moments before Murasakibara decides you’re going crazy and picks you up without warning, ignoring your giggles and protests, and plops you back down on the seat you’ve been occupying earlier.

“Aw, so mean, Atsushi. I was still having fun, you know.” You put on a mock-offended look, but are quite unable to wipe the smirk off your lips.

“For a midget like you, you’re quite loud and a handful,” he says, earning a “hey!” and an arm slap from you, but he only smiles and pats your head shortly. “Don’t worry, you won’t be missing out since I’m almost done anyway. All that’s left is to put them in the oven. Until then, _____-chin should wait and behave, okay?”

Now he is enjoying this. “Fine.”

It takes another half-hour for everything to bake and for Murasakibara to add the finishing touches. The heavenly aroma of baked goods filling the entire kitchen space for a while now makes your mouth water in anticipation for the delight you’re about to taste later on. But you know your excitement is nothing compared to your boyfriend’s. You chuckle softly at the thought that he must me mentally drooling right now, and would literally be if his face isn’t so close to the last piece he’s decorating.

And finally, he stands up to his full height, eyes alight with pride and happiness as they gaze over the trays and trays of absolute perfection that is the confectioneries. He’s really outdone himself this time, you think with equal pride and happiness as you gaze at him.

Then he carries one of the trays over to where you are, placing it down on top of the counter.

“You’ve outdone yourself, Atsushi,” you say fondly, voicing out the thought you had earlier. “They’re made especially today.”

“They are special today.”

He picks up one of the treats, but instead of eating it himself, he directs it to your lips. You stare up at him in mild surprise, seeing the rare knowing and gentleness in his eyes and smile that you have come to correctly interpret the meaning of over the years you two have been together: he wants to take care of you.

“As a ‘thank you’ for accompanying me earlier,” he says by way of explanation.

He made these for me? Dumbstruck, you slowly open your mouth as he feeds you the treat, gently pushing it inside with the pad of his index finger. It tastes wonderful. It’s everything you ever expected and so much more. The treat melts easily and pleasantly on your tongue, you want to devour it at once but you also want to make it last.

Murasakibara looks at you expectantly. You honestly feel nothing he doesn’t already know will suffice to judge how amazing this is. How amazing he is. It’s nothing short of exquisite. So you just settle for a simple, nevertheless the highest praise you could ever give him.

“I love it very much.”

And you are awarded with the fondest smile you’ve ever seen in his face so far, far sweeter and more heart-fluttering than anything you’ve ever tasted or experienced in the world.

By the time the two of you have had your fill — you finished two trays with Murasakibara eating three-fourths of the share, leaving three more trays for tomorrow — it is already eleven pm. You let out a squeal of panic and excitement as you hop down from your stool, dragging a surprised and reluctant Murasakibara from his seat all the way to the brightly lit living room, thanks to the adorning Christmas lights you somehow coerced your boyfriend into putting up together with you yesterday.

“What’s with the rush, _____-chin? I’m still not done eating.” And indeed, he’s still holding on to a last piece of treat which he barely managed to snatch before you abruptly took him away. It immediately disappears, though, as he’s currently stuffing said treat into his mouth.

You look over your shoulder at him, positively beaming. “But Atsushi, presents!”

“Eh~” He grumbles silently but otherwise follows suit without any more complaint as you sit in front of the huge Christmas tree, underneath of which is surrounded by many parcels wrapped in colorful and festive wrappers.

Inspite of himself, Murasakibara sifts through the gifts, reading the names. “Then should I give _____-chin her present now?”

“Let’s wait until it’s midnight. In the meantime, let’s see what our friends and families got for us.”

“Okay~”

And so, the rest of Christmas Day is spent opening presents. Just when you think things couldn’t possibly get chaotic like it was in the kitchen, your purple-haired giant proves you wrong. Some of his old teammates from both middle and high school feel affection for their friend enough to give him something. Most of them, apparently, were thinking the same thing, that Murasakibara’s predictable, and that it’s easy enough to find and send him something he’ll surely love. And they are right. Murasakibara is distracted by the variety of sweets ranging from candies to cookies to cakes, and spends half the time re-stuffing his face, while you spend half of yours chiding him, while occasionally sucking on some lollipops as well.

At last, it’s time for you to give your own presents. You pick up the parcel with elegant, glittering purple wrapper and hand it over to Murasakibara, who, in turn, gives you a long, rectangular box covered in plain red paper.

“Open mine first, Atsushi,” you tell him, wanting to see his reaction.

He tears the purple wrappings, and you’re pleased to see that he exhibits more eagerness right now than he has shown all evening, even when he received the mountain of sweets. You can’t help but grin widely when you see how his eyes widen for a fraction, having just unwrapped the toque now being held almost reverently in his hand. You know that someday Murasakibara will pursue his dream of becoming a professional pastry chef. Even if the topic hasn’t been brought up in discussions yet — if only for the reason that Murasakibara has yet to decide — going to a culinary school in France is not a far-fetched idea. And if he’s aiming to go that far in his dream, you want to assure him, to make him feel that no matter how far he gets, he’ll always have his home with you — you who tried his cooking when he was just learning, and for whom he can prepare the simplest or most extravagant foods and know that you will always be the first and the greatest to appreciate everything he brings to the table.

It is a very thoughtful gift, and even without words, you know Murasakibara understands; the expression on his face is being curtained by the fall of his hair, but through the gap in the soft lilac strands, there’s definitely no mistaking the small smile that graces his lips.

He turns to you with undeniable happiness and affection in his indigo-colored eyes. “Thank you, _____-chin.”

You offer him a smile before you turn to his gift for you. After carefully tearing through the package, you let out a gasp when you see the logo on the box. “Oh, Atsushi, you didn't—” You look at him in awe and disbelief, but he only tilts his head and smiles in that lazy, vague way of his that means he knows more than he lets on. You lift off the lid, revealing a scarf inside. And it’s not just any scarf, it’s from a famous fashion brand in, well, France.

“You didn’t have to, but thank you. It’s beautiful,” you can only whisper, feeling the overwhelming rush of emotions in your chest.

Murasakibara can’t help but turn a light shade of red at the intense sincerity that radiates off you and bores right into his heart. He averts his gaze, embarrassed and suddenly feeling vulnerable. “It’s just because you’re so bad at handling the cold~”

You have to chuckle at his tsundere-ness. “Yes, yes, I’m grateful for your consideration.”

A few moments later, you suggest the two of you start clearing up the mess, with you asking that he cleans the ones in the kitchen while you take care of the living room, to which he refuses point-blank, saying how troublesome it is. He grabs your wrist when you attempt to pick up another discarded wrapper, before his other hand takes the gathered pieces of torn papers from you and sets them aside, making you look at him questioningly. In one swift, fluid movement, and without him offering any kind of verbal answer, you’re being pulled forward. In a mesh of blurred colors and racing heartbeats, you find yourself sitting on the floor between Murasakibara’s legs, his arms caging you in as he embraces you tightly yet delicately from behind. His head comes to rest on the top side of yours, so that your own head is tilted to the right ever so slightly.

You would’ve blushed so hard or frantically sputtered incoherent words, as you normally do in every other situation, only, there’s something in the moment that makes exaggerated acts not fitting, unforgivably insufficient. Because moments in life flow with the river of time. They happen and then they get carried away with the current in mere seconds. Indeed, the echoes will stay forever — or for as long as you don’t let them go — as memories. But the real thing is ephemeral, beginning and ending as quickly and as easily as sand slipping through the gaps in your fingers. In the silence, there sounds the merciless ticking of the clock. No matter how much you want to, there’s nothing you can do to make this moment last, the only thing you can do is hold on to it while it stays.

So you do.

You raise your arms and wrap them around the ones circling your waist, holding on to Murasakibara and savouring the moment for all it’s worth.

“I like that you’re tiny, with this you fit just right in my arms.” He says quietly as if he, like you, is not very willing to break the comfortable silence. “This is better, right? If you get cold again, just come to me. I’ll warm you up right away~”

You feel a smile tug at the corners of your lips, can almost hear him thinking, I’m much better and warmer than that sweater you were pouting and pining for earlier! “Yes, certainly, you’re way better than any piece of clothing I could buy from a store, Atsushi.”

And so time passes, with only a few minutes left of Christmas. The apartment is a mess; you don’t want to think about the state of the kitchen, the living room alone is quite the sight already. Neither of you cares as you continue to snuggle against each other, surrounded by an array of colorful candy and gift wrappers strewn all over the floor. When the clock strikes 11:59, you feel Murasakibara shift behind you.

“I wish it’s Christmas everyday.”

“So you’ll get plenty of snacks for presents?”

There is a pregnant pause. “…That, too.”

You place your hand on top of his and squeeze gently. “We’ll do it again next year.”

“Mm.” He turns the hand that you’re holding upside down so your hand now rests on his palm. Even with your fingers intertwined, his much larger hand is still able to completely engulf your own. “Every year.”

Engrossed in staring at your joined hands and marveling at how they complement each other, it takes a second longer for the words to register. When they do, you force your head backwards to be able to see his face. “What?”

His eyes slide down to meet yours, and you are stunned by the sheer depth and intensity of the promise being held in those purple orbs. “I want to spend every Christmas with _____-chin, just like this. Let’s do this every year.”

This is a lifetime’s worth of choice, but there’s not an ounce of hesitation in your heart. And he knows it, too, when your answering smile is loving, one that is equally full of promises you mirror from him. That which you are determined to fulfill together with him.

“Yes. Let’s do that.”

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S5 Watchthrough Episodes 14-17

(Trigger Warning: The episode Ethics contains the theme of suicide. While I will try to not go too in-depth, as it is part of the episode I will be discussing it. If this topic makes you uncomfortable or is triggering to you even in the slightest, please skip the section of the watchthrough. Thank you)

Conundrum: So we have us an amnesia episode. Who’s the poor individual who gets hit with it? Everyone! Yes, some weird scan thingy causes everyone to lose their memories. They still know how to perform their jobs and all that, but otherwise, they remember zilch. I’m kind of mixed on how they did it. Overall, they are intelligent and calm about the situation, which on the one hand feels unrealistic. You’d expect far more panic and tension if you suddenly found yourself on a ship among people you don’t know. On the other hand at this point even without their memories, they’re probably used to weirdness like this (the S4 episode Clues had a similar thing happen) and it’s kind of refreshing to see people handle a situation without becoming paranoid assholes. Also… they make some kind of awkward Troi/Riker/Ro love triangle. Troi has some familiarity with Riker due to their past, which makes sense… but why add Ro to the mix? The only time they really interacted outside this episode was Ro’s intro, where Riker was a hypocritical asshole who made her take her earring off. They really don’t seem to agree and I guess the writers went ‘well they argue… so it must be love’! Which… no, going with this with Ro makes zero sense and it really makes it feel like Riker is playing both women, which both feel OOC for him, and even taking amnesia into account makes him look worst. Why does S5 want me to hate Riker? Otherwise, it was fine. Just kind of eh. Again we kinda sorta did this plot already (differently but still) and it doesn’t become hard to figure out who the one behind this is when you realize that they’re the only one getting prominent screentime who isn’t a pre-established character. Still, it’s just alright, but yeah that love triangle nonsense, while by no means the worst I’ve ever seen, really was unnecessary. 2.5/5.

Power Play: In this one, Troi, Data, and O’Brein get posessed on an Away Mission (Riker almost did as well, but it flew away before it could posess him). They take Ten-Forward hostage which includes Worf and Keiko, and later Picard. This had to be fun for Marina Sirtis, Brent Spiner, and Colm Meaney since they ge to act all evil… though Spiner’s already done it with Lore, but still XD So it was fine. It was tense and had some disturbing moments like Posessed!O’Brein forcing himself on Keiko. Dear God I hope the Enteprise has a counselor (aside from Troi since she was partially involved in this) cause neither of them deserved that. It was also scary to see Data acting like… well, Lore pretty much. Seeing Riker, Crusher, Geordi, and Ro trying to figure out how to save them without anyone getting killed was also interesting, it’s the first time we’ve seen a hostage situation like this in a ST show (Space Seed in TOS kinda counts, but that was an entirely different scenario and was more ‘hostile takeover’ than ‘hostage situation’). That’s honestly all I’ve got/ IDK, S5 has just been painfully average thus far where none of the episodes have been particularly bad, but only like… three so far (Ensign Ro, Disaster, Unification) have kept me interested. Maybe that’ll change here soon bu it’s just like ‘…it’s fine but I feel nothing otherwise’. 3/5.

Ethics: I again point to the trigger warning above. The episode contains the theme of suicide (though it is NOT carried out) so if this topic at all is uncomfortable/triggery, please skip this section. So what happened? An accident has left Worf paralyzed. Crusher has called in a neurologist while Worf, believing that he can no longer be a warrior in his condition, wants to be killed. Needless to say, we’re dealing with some heavy stuff in this one. We kind of have a similar thing going on as in Half a Life where Worf wants to die as according to his Klingon beliefs, his life is over since he is paralyzed. He asks Riker to help commit it as he’s his friend and naturally Riker is appalled at this. Picard breaks it down for Riker and that while we don’t understand it we should respect it… but again we’re talking about assisted suicide. I get what Picard is saying but just… no. The episode makes it clear that we’re supposed to be conflicted, however, and in the end, Worf decides against it due to both an experimental procedure and because Riker uncovered that Alexander would be the one who’d have to assist in the suicide if Worf did it. Needless to say, Worf ain’t letting that happen. It does make Worf’s feelings clear, however. His anger, his fear, it’s very hard to watch Worf in such a state. The neurologist, Dr. Russell, offers him a procedure that may work… but it’s a procedure that is still in the experimental stage and turned down by Starfleet Medical. Needless to say, Crusher’s not exactly happy with the idea of using a medically untested procedure on one of her patients… but to be fair, Worf has refused all other treatment and the use of implants and with suicide the only other option, I can see why Russell would be willing to offer. But at the same time, it does come across her just using this as an excuse to use said treatment which also has plenty of risks on said patients life/further well-being, and Crusher telling her off repeatedly is very satisfying especially at the end when Worf almost died due to her, and she seemed more concerned with noting it than what her actions caused and said that Crusher was jealous. Yeah, Russell sucks. It does bring up a lot of medically ethical questions, however: is it right to use an experimental procedure on a patient when all other options have been turned away or are available? Especially when said patient is suicidal or when it comes to said patient's beliefs? I side with Crusher at the end of the day especially since Worf is very lucky to have survived/recovered his mobility afterward, but the questions are still ones to point out. Then there’s poor Alexander whose on the verge of losing his father and Worf not wanting him to see him like he is and… God yeah. Just as I complain about the lack of impactful episodes, this one comes in. It’s a very tough episode with everything going on with Worf, the theme of medical ethics, and it’s heavy on the emotions. IDK how well I can say that the episode portrays it, but it certainly hit hard and brings up a lot of questions for the viewers. It certainly reaffirms how much I love Crusher XD 4/5.

The Outcast: /sighs/ Okay… how to go about talking about this one? In this episode, we meet a species of aliens that don’t use gender identity, and if they show signs of identifying as male or female, they undergo ‘treatment’. One of these individuals is Soren, who identifies as female and falls in love with Riker. So… there are many things that this can be associated with, but this was made as a gay rights episode. Now… let us remember when this was made. S5 was airing during the early ’90s. This was not a good time for gay individuals. We were very much anti-LGBT+ in those times and the AIDS epidemic where they were scapegoated as a public menace still being rampant didn’t help. In many ways, doing this episode was a bold move and I can respect them for at least is trying to tackle the topic seriously. If there’s any franchise that you’d expect to tackle these kinds of issues it would be this one. But the question is does it hold up 30 years later? Well… unfortunately, no. First, if they really wanted to get the gay rights message across… why was Soren played by a female actress? Maybe it was the only way they would have been allowed to do this, but because of it, it keeps a heterosexual angle that causes the message to be lost. We also don’t have any regular/reccuring characters as queer which would be pretty important to have in this episode. Considering that TOS took the risk with making PoC equal to white people at a time it wasn’t at all welcomed, TNG not doing so with LGBT+ individuals is rather unfortunate to put it nicely. Not to mention it sticking to standard male/female stereotypes as the norm when breaking them down to Soren, as well as Worf’s sexist/bigoted comments. That’s no even going into other identities such as transgender and non-binary. I’d really like to know what they think of this one considering the themes. As I am a bi/demisexual cis woman and this was meant to be a gay rights episode I will look at it as such and from that POV, the episode does not at all look great in a modern light.

Maybe I’m just far too nice and should be harsher on this, and I’m not gonna lie I’m horrible at addressing these things so I apologize if any of this came out wrong. But between this and The Host, it’s clear that the show was ill-equipped to handle LGBT+ topics. But at the same time, back then even considering addressing the topics in any way would have been risky. I do believe that there was a good faith effort and maybe in some ways, it helped when we improved later. It’s always hard to say if people should tackle topics they don’t understand or not. Naturally, it’s rage-inducing when they get it wrong, but it can also open the door to getting people to learn and to improve. Maybe this was needed in the ’90s and they did it the best way that they could, and maybe the fact that we can look at it and go ‘we know better’ is a sign that we’re better than when we were 30 years ago… or again, I am far too nice/too much of a doormat and I give the benefit of the doubt way too much. People who are more knowledgeable/know how to address this far better than I have here have likely done so and I’d encourage others to read more into those perspectives. Regardless, the episode overall is okay I guess. I certainly felt horrible for Soren at the end as she’s taken to undergo ‘treatment’ and Riker trying to help her get out of it. Her speech, wanting to just be treated as a person and not be treated as horrible due to who she is during the trial did really hit me and is why I think that the show did mean well. If she wanted to identify as female and be with Riker, she should be free to and then how she was forced to conform to her society’s views at the end when Riker tried to save her, it’s just... hard to watch. I wish that the ending was more optimistic/hopeful but I can’t say that the message wasn’t loud and clear. It very much reflected society at that time, and in many ways it’s still relevant today concerning how society treats those deemed outside the norm. But it also has issues due to the execution as I already mentioned, and I can only hope that Modern Trek (Discovery, Picard, soon SNW) and whatever they do in the future are/will be better at handling these kinds of themes because there’s no excuse to get it wrong in today’s time. 2.5/5.

I hope that I addressed things properly concerning the last episode. But it’s now done. We have nine more to go for the season. Let's see how it turns out.

[nyssavexhelps]

❦ !!

Send me a  ❦, and I’ll tell you a favourite past rping memory/experience of mine with a particular fc. || Still Accepting

Okay I was initially going to with another much older fc (gary oldman & catherine zeta-jones XD) when you sent me this yesterday, but now I’ve been filled with so much Melissa Benoist muse that I have to tell you my story of my most favourite past rping experience with a Melissa Benoist fc. Okay, so I joined this pairs rp and after looking through the open pairs list, I then decided to choose the Melissa fc muse as my character’s pair, after I had read thru the mun’s bio write-up on her & in my mind at that moment, her character seemed like she would make a good & interesting match for my very angsty & complex muse. At that point of time, I liked Melissa both as an actress & an fc but I haven’t really fallen in love with her yet. And to add a small interesting angle to this story, it was a quite an unusual pairing, because my fc was a Daniel Gilles fc and at that time, I had never seen any crackships with both Melissa and Daniel before, so that was a small new thing to me.

BUT OMMGGGG, HOWWWWW WELL DID THAT SMALL CHOICE OF MINE & PAIRING TURNED OUT TO BE!!:D IT WAS SO AMAZING, I TRULY CAN’T FIND ENOUGH WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW WONDERFUL THAT CHANCE ENCOUNTER WAS FOR ME TO MEET ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING & DARLING WRITING PARTNER I HAVE EVER MET IN ALL MY YEARS OF RPING & TO RAPIDLY GET TO KNOW HER AND BONDED WITH HER SO WELL ONE OF OUR TOPMOST BELOVED RPING OTP’S UP TILL CURRENTLY. And it is a quite a slow-burn ship tbh, but that made us love them all the more, as we got to plot and hc like thousands of future plots and hcs for them in their very interesting and long rollercoaster journey ride of their slow, but beautifully blossoming relationship. My partner’s character made me fall hard in love with Melissa and by now I love Melissa’s fc even so so much more wherever I went. And both my partner and I just SCREAM, GIGGLE UNCONTROLLABLY, RE-READ OVER & OVER AGAIN & CRY over each reply we made with our respective characters and we’ve come up with so many potential plots & hcs for them that it’s insane. 

And as for my incredible partner and very dear friend, she has turned out to be this extremely genuine, warm, loving and incredibly supportive person in my life whom I care about deeply and adore to bits up to infinity & beyond!! We’re still in touch, and tbvh, we’re still actually writing our threads as a 1x1 ship as our muses are only on Stage B of their relationship journey, but due to our respectively busy & eventful lives, we can only do them once in a while during these past several months. I would tag her in here, but her personal blog is currently not so active recently, so she might not see it. But actually, Dilan dear, after looking at both your blogs, I think you know this girl, very, very well & i’m not surprised that you both became besties too as you’re both such incredible & awesome angels!! xxx!! (im me if u’d like to find out who it is XD, cos i love keeping ppl in suspense, sorry XD

[athyrabunlord]

Here’s my reply post to @argentien’s lovely feedback for [LLSHP AU’s Interlude 2], and once again, this is put under the cut~  (not just due to spoilers but because athyra rambles too much blah blah blah XD!!!)

XD indeed I’ve been hinting Delphinus cuz Kanan and Mari (and kanamari) unfortunately don’t have that much of a role/scene in the story so far. However, their story would only be written after I complete the main one, since it’s a prequel/takes place prior to the main one.

I’ve always thought of KananMari as good parents sisterly friends for Ruby, older sister-figures who aren’t quite her ‘Onee-chan’ or ‘friends’ either. All those blank, unshown years in canon... gad, if only we could see more tidbits! I cannot see Dia leaving her bby sister alone in the house when she’s out on adventures with the incorrigible Awashima duo (unless ofc, she considered it too dangerous for Ruby to come along). Anyway, yes, so I try to build on and characterize their relationship based on this. I see Kanan and Mari being shit friends to Dia like canon while pampering Ruby because they care about the Kurosawa sisters, but also understand there will always be this intangible distance between them that prevents the two from being blunt(?) to Ruby like they do to Dia.

Thanks for the encouragement! I invest most of my efforts in characterization, especially for AUs like this. OOC is an intermediate turn-off for many people, myself included, so I try my best to make everything they do or say believable given the circumstances.

Grandpapa Kurosawa is a scary man. A formidable wizard whose personality resembles a combination of Barty Crouch Sr., Lucius Malfoy and Rufus Scrimgeour from HP. So... yes, that’s a very difficult home environment to grow up in. Understand that the Kurosawa Estate is very big, there are several Branch families that live there, hence some deviations are overlooked (such as Dia’s private wing when she’s older) and why Ruby isn’t under constant surveillance, allowing Kanan and Mari to slip through the house-elves’ guard. As Carbonado is told from Riko’s POV, I did not dive too much into how the House of Kurosawa is like, only showing what Riko perceives in the short time she’s there (and that’s only within Dia’s private wing too). More about the Kurosawas in Arc 3 though! (after all, both Dia and Ruby belong to that House)

RubyMaru bond is just as vital as the platonic parts of YoshiRuby and YoshiMaru. That unfortunately couldn’t be showcased more in the main story in Yoshiko’s POV, as the two Puffs are in a different House and do spend more time together without Yoshiko. So yes, that scene is intended to show a slice of how Ruby and Hanamaru’s life, and how the House of Hufflepuff is compared to House of Slytherin. Hanamaru first helped with Ruby’s new hairstyle, the cutesy pigtails, to encourage Ruby to try to find her new place here at Hogwarts instead of continuing to be just a Kurosawa Pureblood. Given what’s happened in the main story, Ruby decided to revert to her old hairstyle (letting her hair down) at the end of this interlude since she’s made peace with what she had to do, and vows to ‘wait’ for her best friend’s return.

\CYR/ \I love CYaRon!/ Not gonna lie, kinda biased towards them because CYR is my fav subunit and it’s unfortunate I’m unable to showcase them (and You & Chika) more in the main story. I definitely did invest in their scene quite a bit, to make Chika’s dialogues to sound like Chika, and ditto for You. took several rewrites Like Ruby said, she’s not sure why the duo are so attached to her, and she doesn’t fully understand her own fondness for them either, but some times, the simpler the better. Not everything requires a reason or explanation, it just is. Quoting Chika (from Ch11 I think? oi author how dare you don’t remember), “They are just meant to be friends!”

XDDDD The Gourmet Report drama track slayed me back then. Hilarious af I can’t. But yes, in terms of canon, they’re a pair I have trouble imagining interacting in any media (I mean we have rare stuff like You-Maru in the manga and Kanan-Yoshiko in SID), so that small tidbit in S2ep4 was a pleasant surprise, when Riko and Ruby ran away from the hungry seal and Dia saves the day bless that scene srsly bless that scene. Ahem, that said, given the circumstances in this LLSHP AU, I’ve always wanted to show a scene with just Riko and Ruby. Riko’s only ever shown her ‘vulnerable’ side to Dia, as well as Kanan and Mari to an extent. Here, once again, she’s shown as uncertain because she values Ruby’s opinion of her and Dia, hoping the younger sister would accept them especially knowing how important Ruby is for Dia. Ruby realizes and acknowledges that, hence she happily gives them her blessing.

Yes Yoshiko is deeeeeense. Indeed, in the main story, she still has no idea Kanan and Mari are a couple lmfao. Given the situation now, ofc she wouldn’t be able to notice, but even back in Arc1-2, she really, really has no idea. She spent the majority of Arc1 thinking KananxMaru is a possibility while being teased and spun around in circles by the shiny cat Animagus, so yup, Yoshiko is clueless.

Ruby wasn’t told about kanamari - she just knows XD and fully accepts them for who they are. Ruby definitely noticed the YoshiMaru early on (as early as ch4) and tries to be helpful. She loves Hanamaru and Yoshiko , her two best friends, and their feelings seem mutual, so there’s no reason not to help out <3

Dia and Ruby have been unable to truly interact as how normal siblings do most of their lives, but they’re still able to feel each other’s love. They just never had the chance, so when they have the opportunity to do so in the Room of Requirement, the bond manifests easily because, it’s always been there.

I try not to show too much of the aftermath in the last scene of this interlude because, it’s still an interlude and not a ‘main chapter’. Hence, all those hints and minimum description of post-ch14. More will be shown in ch15 ofc. The House of Kurosawa invested too much in Dia as the heiress to disown her outright, hence the withdrawal from Hogwarts and the house arrest to see if she’s still ‘salvageable’, if she could still be corrected and molded again. Had the same situation happened with Ruby, then she wouldn’t have been given such lenience. Like she mentioned, she would’ve become one of the many blacked-out names on their family tree.

Dia and Ruby, in spite of the heavy responsibilities and stifling expectations they had to endure, are proud of their lineage and would do anything to protect the Kurosawa honor. Unless, of course, the choice is between their family name and their precious sibling. Ruby’s made such resolve, thus she’s able to ironically summon a Patronus that represents her family.

Welp, the two interludes have always been outlined, but the original plan was to upload them after finishing the main story, to fill in the gaps and whatnot, but as I’ve said when I uploaded Carbonado, I cannot wait that long LOL and it adds to the story more if I post the interludes where they’re supposed to be. So... yes, maximum pain effect is intended. It’s a good breather for me as a writer too, to write another character’s POV.

Further to above, yes there’s always been a scene between Ruby and Hanayo planned. I did say there wouldn’t be any big teacher-student interactions in the story - hence only a Maki-Yoshiko scene in ch13, as a flashback, and here Hanayo-Ruby within the Interlude. The main story would not have that, though there will be more Professor cameos in Arc3, given the situation (that the investigators from the Ministry allow the remaining Aqours members to retain their freedom as regular students only if the staff keep an eye on them).

As said somewhere (or did I? don’t remember lmao oi author pls) in Ch13′s upload, All-Stars did prompt me to ‘upgrade’ the Maki-Yoshiko scene from simple narration to actual dialogue-interactions. In HP, there have been meaningful moments between Professor and student too, so that’s what I intend to do here for Ruby. She does need a maternal figure and a refreshing outsider view of her situation. μ’s student days... *far away look* I hope I’ll get the chance to showcase them after the main story. As hinted in ch9, they did start the Yule Ball competition XD

As said in my A/N of this Interlude, it only had 5 bullet-point outline like this:

pre-story, kanamari & ruby at kurosawa house, the patriarch and the black jaguar

post ch3, house of hufflepuff! maru and ruby, pigtails and yoshiko

post ch7, \CYR/, quidditch, \CYR/, Chika being chika You being You

mid ch11, RikoRuby bonding, carbonado’s meaning, DiaRuby

post ch14, Greenhouse with Prof rice, YoshiRuby scene with black jaguar patronus and wingardium leviosa

These grew in to the 10k interlude... Orz very minimal points but most of the stuff’s in my head so I just needed these keywords as reminder XD;;;;

And yes I OP’d my rice bby cuz she’s mah bby!!! Hanayo, as stated on her profile, prepares for a gourmet feast monthly with produce cultivated from the Greenhouse. She’s been prepping for sweet potatoes, knowing Ruby likes them and meant to bring those to the Infirmary for her and Hanamaru. just so happens Ruby is at the Greenhouse, so Professor Koizumi gives the sweet potatoes to her after baking them with a spell. Herbology was never explored or showcased much in HP, so I took liberties for Hanayo to use spells that would help the growth of plants (hence the extending vines) etc. It’s also why I chose to give her a staff instead of wants like other chars, because she’s more attuned to Earth than anyone.

Ah, I’ll digress on commenting on the YoshiRuby scene. Yes, Ruby does sense something off, but Yoshiko is closed off.

Yes Ruby made a girlfriend in Hakodate I’m so proud of her, unfortunately no Saint Snow cameo in the main story as explained in this post here OTL

My bby woobie is strong, she’s gone through a lot and grew up so much, no longer the uncertain, meek Kurosawa secondborn, but a Black Jaguar sworn to protect her territory, her friends-family, and is ready to hunt.*also has maternal pride but thankfully I’m not old enough to be her mom LOL*

This interlude is the longest chapter yes, though that’s actually Carbonado - I just had to split in two parts because it got too long XDDDD

In conclusion, thanks again for your lovely feedback, it’s always so encouraging to hear what readers think, especially when you notice the little details and nuance here and there. Glad you like the early Xmas gift though! I hope I can finish ch15 before Xmas *crosses fingers* Please look forward to Arc3!

[janiedean]

asoiaf for the meme thing :)

ALL OF THE QUESTIONS? ALL OF THE QUESTIONS. *cracks knuckles* beware: cersei fans pls skip this post it was named salty asks and I’m not trying to sound nicer as I’d try to be usually

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get? see the crackship question for an appropriate answer to this since out of the ships that actually are canon I do *get* why they’re a thing

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP? jon/sansa, any stark*cest tbh

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? in asoiaf? yesterday I unfollowed someone because I realized they changed their blog title to an anti jon/sansa thing (WHY DON’T SHIT ON OTHERS’S SHIPS) and on top of that they hated jaime and at some point made a post dissing him in the tags and then basically wishing brienne ended up with hyle and NO THANK YOU

Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? t/ramsay, l/annincest and sansa/marg, t/ramsay is like 50% of what theon fans are into so I guess it’s popular but I don’t mind since the fans are chill and tag everything, l/annincest isn’t as popular as it could be and I honestly hope it keeps on declining because I’m petty and salty and the more time passes the less I can stand it, sansa/marg is sadly very popular and it’s half the reason why I can’t read a lot of t/hrobb stuff around because it’s the sideship and I can’t stomach it for reasons related to how obnoxious the shippers were during s3

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? in asoiaf? no but the part of sansa fandom who in s5/6 decided that whichever character shared a screen with her (from jon to theon to brienne) had to be dissed on principle was putting up an admirable effort to ruin the character for me

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated? *thinks* .... nah, but the t/hramsay fandom is a+ and has done wonders in not making me see it even if I stalk the theon tag which means I tolerate it a lot more than I used to

Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now? the show

Have you received anon hate? What about? *thinks* meh someone once sent me hate because I was arguing theon didn’t owe the starks anything and then there was the slew of j*aime/cersei anons a couple years ago who kept on sending asks like ‘he can’t be with brienne because she’s too ugly’

Most disliked character(s)? Why? cersei. good lord I guess she’s interesting for what she is but the only kind of *horrible people* I enjoy reading are *competent* horrible people and not only she’s incompetent, out of her mind and so self-absorbed she can’t even be an efficient villain, but like the fact that she’s an abusive narcisist asshole who fandom likes to present as a FEMINIST MODEL before declaring that she and jaime MUST BE THE SAME PERSON SO HE HAS TO BE AN ASSHOLE doesn’t help, also I find her povs boring af and I’m not interested in her head at all, and cherry on top anyone who laughs about catelyn going insane when she saw robb die in front of her is dead to me as anything. also she has the most fucking obnoxious subfandom in this fandom and she’s basically everything I detest in a) a person, b) a fictional character, so. yeah. hahaha. years ago it’d have been ramsay but the ramsay fandom is a LOT less horrid than hers, so.

Most disliked arc? Why? dany’s adwd arc, because it was too long and too much filler and I slept through about 70% of it like I honest to god don’t remember half of what happened. 

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? THEON GREYJOY because he’s the objectively best written and conceived character in there never mind the most original one grrm’s ever come up with and a delicious deconstruction of everything he sets to deconstruct and he has the best identity arc ever and I’m a sucker for identity arcs and fandom hates him sooooo *sigh*

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? every time I hear brienne’s chapters are boring I want to weep and bang my head against the wall because they’re in my top three asoiaf povs and like it was the first time I ever related to a fictional character because of things we had in common and tbh I thought it was exquisitely done and the exploration of post-war westeros was a+ and I loved everything about it

Unpopular opinion about XXX character? I don’t have a character so I’m just gonna pick one I have an unpopular opinion about hmmm I don’t think bran’s chapters are boring and I don’t hate jorah

Unpopular opinion about your fandom? oh god idk about the whole fandom but let’s just say that for how much I bitch about it, it’ 100% better than ANY other fandom around rn 

Unpopular opinion about the manga/show? the SHOW? lol, if I say I don’t like 90% of what they choose it’s not UNPOPULAR anymore I guess? idk I think yara’s a terrible character and has nothing to do with asha but everyone seems to love her so

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? LOL I’d reinstate jeyne westerling instead of that horrid talisa stuff and then I’d put winterfell back where it belonged as in with jeyne poole and theon being the main character talking about MAIN STUFF, I’d get someone to inform theon that ramsay died, I’d have killed ramsay through jon beheading him and I’D HAVE SCRAPPED WITH FIRE THAT RIDICULOUS ENDING OF S5 WHERE THEY KILLED SHIREEN SO THEN THEY COULD MAKE BRIENNE KILL STANNIS IN THE MOST OOC THING I EVER SAW IN THAT SHOW sigh ah and jon*dany wouldn’t be canon by now I guess and lady stoneheart would have been a thing

Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen… .... yeah right instead of talisa I’d have had jeyne, instead of sansa and theon I’d have had jeyne and theon and jaime would have dumped cersei properly two seasons ago

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased? no, but harping at people who ship something popular and not canon telling them they’re in denial/biased is really fucking irksome

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom? sorry I can’t pick ONE. on the same level: *book readers* who obviously haven’t read the entire thing, people who think jaime is the same person as cersei, whoever in the l/annincest fandom sends the monthly anons telling jb shippers how biased they are and that no one gives a fuck about jon connington. ah, and that people still think theon betrayed *the starks*

What is the purest ship in the fandom? jon/sam

What are your thoughts on crack ships? listen I enjoy crack ships myself but I hate it when some become more popular than actual sensed ships when they’re a thing because of aesthetics and I REALLY hate that in this fandom a lot of crack ships are more popular than ships that make sense or are canon (see: jaime/sansa - WHY IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE - vs jon/sam or jonc/rhaegar, or the fact that rhaegar/HARRY POTTER has more effective fics than jonc/rhaegar, or jaime/sansa probably having more effective fics than jon/ygritte since the latter is always a sideship or IN THE PAST and if you take the dany/jon and sansa/jon out of the ao3 search you get... 300 maybe, and actually add sam/anyone in the list of ships that don’t get following HMMM GUESS WHY) that said jonc/the blackfish is the crackship of the century and I’ll go down with it (and I enjoy a lot of others ie jon/asha XDD)

Popular character you hate? if she counts as popular, cersei. otherwise dany’s not my fave but I don’t hate her or anything I just don’t like her that much. ah no wait show!margaery like I honestly don’t get what’s so special about marg period

Unpopular character you love? THEON

Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not? of course I’d recommend asoiaf to people I do love it XD

How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX? it’s not ended already but I want jon ALONE on the throne, dany back in essos, the other starks in winterfell, theon getting a break and jaime and brienne being ridiculously happy on tarth (I KNOW IMPROBABLE IDC)

Most shippable character? def. jon like I ship him with a bunch of people too bad none of them are sansa or dany #hahahahahaha 

Least shippable character? idk out of people I actually ship with anyone period def. brienne like if she’s not with jaime or he’s not involved I really don’t see her with others (tho I’ll admit to watching the tormund/brienne crack vids because they’re amusing), also meh arya because I only ship her and gendry? 

WOW I COULD MAKE IT XD

[a-vanishingnightstar]

Am I doing this right? 

I’ve seen everyone doing this, so I guess I’ll do the thing too. TBH I actually have like 160+ followers, but still. This is my first time doing a follow forever, so here we go.

A thank you all to everybody that follows me<3 I’m not sure where to start, but thank you all for sticking and baring with me to this day. You all have kind and beautiful souls. I don’t come on tumblr RP as much anymore for my own personal reasons, but it does make. me happy to know you’re all still with me even in spirit hahaha. There’s so many of you I wanna thank and also interact with via OOC or IC. I apologize if you haven’t been added onto the list, because like I said, there’s so many of you. That does not mean I hate you or forgot about you though.

Now where to start...?

Stand by me

@recklessmoon - LIEBELING!!!!!!!! It’s been 85 years. JK. You’re always going to be my Marz/Marchen to my Tada no Elisabeth. I swear, I think we follow each other like almost everywhere now lol. I wish it was simple to just meet in person, because I’d love to hang with you and Sindy and we can all be literally LOL with each other. You’re so silly in a good way and I love having you around ;w; Also because you’re a baboo, you’ll always be my little liebeling too~<3

@juniperblooded - SINDYYYYYY!!!!!! Haha, I gave you the nickname Sindy, because you use to RP as Sin, and for some reason I thought of a genderbent Sin and named “her” Sindy, and now you’re SIndy.~ But anyhoo, my busaiku-chan!!!!!! As to I am your brosaiku-chan XD You’re always going to be my Elefseus no matter what. Would that I could join you and liebeling over there... but I’m over here... ;w; You’ve been my bffl... something-something-and something about Moira or Thanatos and Hades????? XD Well you’ve been my bffl eversince I made my Orion blog haha. I’m glad we got to talk!!!! Gosh, I can still remember how long ago before I got really into SanHora but I saw you around and thought you were probably my ex, because he liked SanHora and FE also lol. IDK. I was a dumb teenager :| I’M NOT YOUR CORN-HIME OR YOUR URINE-CHAN OF THE MOUNTAIN. Godz, the inside jokes we make, I swear to Thanatos XD ILY still tho. I love our Revo Sentai Derhorangers. I have a lot to say about you, but you probably know the rest.

@diito - Ew, it’s you :| JK. My dude. My bruh. My foolish peasant. Nanashi, you’ve been my bestie since... I think I was in middle school and you were in high school lol. I’m kind of surprised we’re still friends and on good terms, which I don’t mind. We don’t talk as much as we use to, but I still think of you as a good friend that stood by me even when I was a little shit. Also thank you for getting me into Drakengard and Nier some more <3 Thanks for everything else too and still remaining as a good friend to this day.

@grxvidus - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr3uC9lBtFY Ur ghey.  I mean... -in an Inigo voice- Helloooo... Prommykins.~ To this day I still dunno what to really call you, but like I said before, I’m use to calling you Prommy, cuz that’s what I’ve been calling you since day 1, and you’ve been calling me Stellalalalala since day 1. In all seriousness though, I have do have a lot to say about you, and you probably know the rest, but I’ll try to keep it short here. You mean a lot to me and I’m more than happy that we can still be friends. You’re one of the most precious beeeeeaaaannnnnssss ever. Would that I could join you over there too, but unfortunately there is only one of me. Though I’m all the way here, know that I’m always here or there for you even in spirit. Not to mention you’re always going to be the Prompto to my Stelalalalalalaaaaaa, and the Zack to my Aerith XD If someone even tries to lay one finger on you to hurt you, pray tell so I can beat them up and send them to the Shadow Realm. I’m still looking forward to whatever it is you wanna send over to me. Can’t wait to see it<3

@fxtalwinter - Erhmagawdz it’s Karla!!!!!!! I’m still a bit surprised you’re still around and that we’re still friends too. It’s been ages eversince the myspace era since we’ve reunited hahahahahaha. You’re so nice and so sweet!!!!! You were my Chloe Valens twin back then lol. I can still remember that day when you tried to add me on myspace and we were both Chloe, and I wasn’t comfortable with adding doppelgangers (I’m still uncomfortable with doppelgangers), so I denied you and I felt bad so then I added you back, and here we are now c: Ahhhhh, good times.~ My sistar (yes sistar and not sister). My friend. Dude, we gotta share our interest for dark and messed up things some more, because those are awesome and interesting -insert creepy Yami Yugi face here- We gotta find some “interesting” things to watch on Netflix too 8) You know, interesting as an the dark and messed up things.

No I won’t be afraid (to talk to you guys... oneday)

@fxrtem - Sharrpie!!!!!!! ILY. I try to talk to you, but I get so shy! Then again I get shy and anxious to talk to everybody ahahahahaha. I miss you ;3; Come talk to me and Stellalalalalala when you’re not doing anything lol. We’re lonely souls.

@loquistador - Haha, I’ll never forget when I saw a comment of your’s on youtube in a VS XIII video!!!!!! -insert annoying teasing silly face here- It’s a Loqi Doqi. I try to talk to you too, but I shy away... :’((((( ILY too tho.

@lightwithinthenightsky - Oh my fair prince, let us sail within the NocTella ship~<3 I’d love to thread and talk to you ;w; I’m sorry if I don’t reply to you. Sometimes IDK what to say, so don’t ever think you’re annoying and such. Also make a discord so we can chat!!!! XD

@fieryknowledge - I’m gonna call you mother.~ I love seeing your creations and I love having you around. Hope we can talk some more sometime, but sometimes I feel like I’m boring... |D I’ve been admiring you since day 1.

@heterochromiairiidum - My bro. My friend. My big meanie misunderstood brother. I admire you from afar like I do with everybody else. I’d love to have a thread with Ravus or Ardyn and Stella! Not to mention, I think you’re silly in a good way. I love seeing you on my dash.~ I can see you’re a good person with a good heart<3

@irisiae - KITTY!!!!!!!! ILY. Godz, how many blogs do you have?! Like 50+ or something? XD I can’t keep up dsaojkltjasyl. I’ll never forget when I first started following you on your old Alphinaud account and we interacted IC a bit, everybody started following me out of the blue... lol. I really wasn’t expecting a lot of people to follow me and then I got really flustered and his on my inactive Zidane Tribal account lol. If it weren’t for you though I wouldn’t have met a lot of these amazing people and you <3 Feel free to harass Stella or Thancred anytime you want.

Too much, too much, too much, too much, too much Never enough (In other words, more people I admire from afar and wish to interact someday IC or OOC)

@princessnoxfleuret @frigustek @healingscourge @the-dome-of-heaven @noctiisms @somxus @nesrecne @sumsatis @aptapugilis @scionmage @infiniitas @xkuja @firxga @badassbarmaid @hyperionknight @haatelis @geluflos @lunamserena @knightxalpha @tridentitty @warsung @lessqq-morepewpew @oracleborn @oracleofthegods @lucidem-aeterna @sagefiredaggers @tribulatio-regis @morethanabarcode @maledictusrex @toolostxtobesaved @dieheilige @theshixld @losteidolon @legatum-viventis @treacherousglaive @chocophotographer @coveredxngrease @securae @deliicatus @hiemalstorm @sukoshishokan

[chokememrstark]

A Dangerous Game // Samifer

Chapter: 15/15

Words: 2761

Summary: Sam comes across a very interesting book that describes a ritual in which one can play a game with the Devil. His curiosity is sparked and even if he doesn’t think he will ever actually do it, Sam soon finds himself face to face with this very entity. Things take a very unpleasant turn, but despite that, Sam is going back, as if something pulls him towards Lucifer.

abuse, violence, bullying, black magic, no hunter!au, a lot of angst, a lot of hurt/little comfort

Note: Because I feel I need to add this: Dean is pretty much a complete asshole in this story, so if you’re uncomfortable with that you might want to reconsider reading it (or tell yourself he is completely ooc, fine with me too xD)

Note²: I can’t believe this is the end! I’m so thankful for everyone leaving comments and feedback for this fic, it really made my first new series one hell of an experience and encouraged me so much to keep writing! Thank you all! You made this an amazing ride from start to finish!

AO3 Link

Thanks to @sassysupernaturalsweetheart & @brieflymaximumprincess for their wonderful beta reading and keeping me company while writing this story ♥

Tagging: @spnyoucantkeepmedown @samlicker83  @wait-what5 @xantcear (if you want to be tagged, just drop me an ask or contact me via IM)

Sam arrived at the old church shortly before the sunset and upon checking if it was still open, found the door unlocked as before. He could have waited outside for his brother to show up, but there were barely any hideouts from where he could see the entrance completely and if he would miss him, things could go bad. So, instead of waiting outside, Sam sneaked into the church once more and found it empty. He took the key to the storage room and put it into his pocket, just so Dean wouldn’t be able to go through with what he most likely had planned. He then found a good spot in a niche that was completely covered in shadows and waited.

Hours passed, slow but steady, and when Sam heard the silent bells from the other churches signaling eleven o’clock, he began to feel uneasy. What if he was wrong? What if Dean had simply decided to steal the book and throw it into a river or something? Or, even worse, if he had already entered the room and Sam didn’t notice? He had not checked if the door was locked or not before taking the key, Dean could be in there already, waiting for the right time.

Scared he might be too late, Sam fiddled the key out of his pocket and ran to the storage room door. He pushed the handle down and stormed forward, smashing against the door that was still locked and hitting his forehead hard.

“Fuck!” he groaned and stepped back, a little shaky on his feet. He was slightly relieved when he realized what had just happened, but when he heard a voice behind him this relief quickly turned into fear again.

“You!”

Sam spun around, facing his brother in the dark church. The moon highlighted parts of the chapel, enough for him to recognize Dean, but it made his brother look almost demonic.

“Dean, give me my book back and leave,” Sam forced himself to speak as calm as possible, to not anger the other further. “You don’t want to do this, trust me.”

“Oh, I want this,” Dean grinned cruelly and Sam saw at the gleam in his eyes that his brother was once again drunk out of his mind. “I’m gonna kick your boyfriend’s ass, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“Stop being so dumb, Dean!” Sam tried reasoning with the older one, despite knowing it was useless. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into!”

Dean growled and suddenly stormed forward and the next thing Sam felt was a sharp pain on his right cheek, spreading through his whole face and making him scream out. He stumbled backwards, but another hit followed, directly on his right eyebrow, which caused him to hit the floor with so much force, it felt as if his back exploded.

“You’ll stop fucking around now, Sammy,” Dean growled and jumped onto his brother, pressing him down and at the same time beginning to throw more blows at him. “I won’t allow it any longer. You. Will. Stop. Now.”

With each word, another blow hit Sam - in his sides, chest and face just the same - and it was simply impossible to defend himself against all of them. He tried his best, screaming and writhing in pain, but it only seemed to anger Dean even further. Hell, he even begged him to stop, but nothing he did had any effect on his brother at all.

“I will teach your stupid boyfriend a lesson!”

Sam didn’t know why Dean kept calling Lucifer his boyfriend and the pain was too intense to even try to make sense of this, he just kept begging his brother to stop, without any success. Finally, when Sam could barely hold his consciousness anymore and stopped defending himself, Dean let go off him and got back on his feet. He kicked his brother one last time in the back, causing him to let out another pain-filled wail, before walking over to the spot where Sam had dropped the key to pick it up.

It was impossible for Sam to move, to prevent Dean from walking into the storage room and shut the door behind him. He gritted his teeth and tried crawling towards the door, but with every inch he managed to move forward, the door seemed to be further away from him. Rationally, Sam knew this was just his fading consciousness, but it didn’t help at all. He knew Dean would follow the instructions in the book, that he would summon Lucifer and might end up worse than he ever imagined. Still, no matter how hard he tried, it was impossible to get back up on his feet or reach the door and eventually, his body simply gave up and he broke down on the hard and cold ground - bleeding in agony, praying his brother wouldn’t succeed, despite knowing better - and then everything turned black.

Sam’s eyes flew open again at a sound so eerie it made him forget all the pain his body was subjected to - a sound that he knew could only have one origin: Dean. He forced his arms to push him up, biting his lip so hard that his teeth drove through the flesh.

“D…ean….” he couldn’t get the word out loud enough for anyone but himself to hear and cursed himself for being so weak again.

Eventually, Sam managed to get on his feet, even if it was a challenge to stay upright and move forward; he did it anyways. He heard mumbled words from behind the closed door, but couldn’t make out the meaning behind them or who spoke, as his ears were filled with dried blood and everything was dull and felt numb. Despite that, he kept moving and finally crashed against the door. This little effort pushed it open and Sam found a scene from his worst nightmares: Lucifer held his brother by the throat, pushing him against a wall. The panic in Dean’s eyes spoke more than words ever could.

“Lucifer, no!” Sam summoned every little bit of strength he had left to get the words out, the weak and pleading sound enough to make Lucifer turn around. He loosened his grip, so Dean dropped to the ground and suddenly, all the Devil’s attention was solely on Sam. “Please… don’t…” the boy continued when strong and unusually cold arms held him up. He barely recognized the weight of this being even possible, right now he just wanted to stop Lucifer from hurting his brother.

“Sam, don’t speak,” Lucifer said and tried to make the boy sit, but Sam vehemently shook his head.

“Don’t… hurt him…” he whispered, finding Lucifer’s blue eyes with his own, tear-filled ones. “Please…”

“Sam, look what he did to you,” Lucifer protested, shooting a furious glare at the direction of the older brother, who flinched at the sight. “He did this, no one else.”

“I know,” Sam groaned, but kept shaking his head. “But you don’t have to do this…”

“I want to do it, Sam,” Lucifer growled dangerously. “He hurt you, I want to hurt him too.”

Lucifer was about to stand back up and finish what he started, when Sam reached up and cupped his face with one of his blood-covered hands. The Devil’s eyes filled with confusion when the boy smiled at him - knowing and calm at the same time.

“Don’t do it for me,” Sam whispered. “He’s dumb, don’t go down on his level…”

Lucifer was speechless. Sam’s hand was hot and bloody - a direct cause of his own brother’s actions, who had beaten him mercilessly and without caring about the damage that would follow - and still, Sam’s heart was not filled with anger or hate. All Lucifer felt was pity and a love so unconditionally that it physically hurt him.

“Sam…” Lucifer sighed, covering the boy’s hand with his own, keeping it in place. It was a pleasant feeling somehow. “He will never stop. He is a disgusting example of the human race, ungrateful, cruel, selfish and self-destructive all at once. I can end his existence in a heartbeat, spare others from the pain he causes day in and day out.”

Sam nodded, but it wasn’t because he agreed with Lucifer’s plan.

“What if you do? He will be dead and the damage will still be done. You are better than him,” he smiled weakly at the blond man. “You don’t have to follow the same path, not if you don’t want to.”

“What if I let him live?” Lucifer asked confused. “Do you want him to hurt you again and again until he drives you into killing yourself? I know you have thought about this before, Sam. This is not what you deserve.”

“And neither do you,” Sam said. “I’m not gonna let him hurt me again.”

“You don’t know the sickness in his heart, Sam. He will do it whether you want it or not.”

After a few minutes of silence, Sam nodded slowly. He let his hand drop, rested it on Lucifer’s shoulder, and used the other’s strength to push himself up. Lucifer steadied him carefully, one arm wrapped around Sam’s waist and the other holding his arm.

“Leave. With me” Sam eventually said, completely serious. “Turn your back at everything and just leave.”

“Sam, I can’t do that,” Lucifer protested and almost pushed away, but Sam’s shaking knees made him stop immediately. “I… can’t just leave.”

“Why not? He freed you, didn’t he?” Sam smiled. “Come with me. I don’t wanna live with him anymore, I can’t stand his face a second longer. And you hate your life too, don’t you? Just come with me and leave it all behind. You showed me that I have been clinging to something that destroyed me, that ruined me. I don’t live in the past anymore, thanks to you, and you don’t have to either. We can leave together, if we want to.”

Lucifer stayed silent and turned his head, looking at the terrified human that was pressing himself against the wall with everything he had - if it would have been possible, Dean would be one with the wall already. He thought about Sam’s words, knowing very well that he was saying the truth. He hated his existence, the things he did, even if his hatred for humanity was almost as big. But Sam? Sam was different. He wanted Sam safe and if it was Sam’s wish to leave with him, then he would not decline, he simply couldn’t.

“Sam, we will not leave for paradise, you know that, right?” Lucifer finally asked, looking back at the human he held. Sam nodded patiently.

“No, we will leave and it will be hard. But you are free now, Lucifer! You are not trapped in a mirror anymore, at least one good thing my brother ever did for me.”

“Do you really want this, Sam?” Lucifer wanted to make sure. “Do you want to run away, leave your life behind and be in danger of being hunted down at any time? I am Heaven’s most wanted, remember. The moment we step out of this church, we will be on the run from every angel heaven has.”

“I don’t care,” Sam said. “I got you, don’t I? You can protect me from them. I’m not afraid.”

Lucifer tightened his grip around Sam’s waist and his eyes got a bit darker; determined.

“If this is your wish, I will protect you.”

“Then let’s leave” Sam smiled. “I need a place to rest, right now it feels like I’m dying.”

A mischievous smile appeared on Lucifer’s lips before he closed his eyes and began to mumble in a language Sam didn’t understand. As he spoke the words, he let his hands run over Sam’s body carefully, spreading a warmth through the boy’s skin and muscles he had never felt before. He closed his eyes, savoring the tenderness of Lucifer’s actions and the feeling it gave him, without even realizing that he began to feel less weak every second. When Lucifer finally fell silent again and Sam opened his eyes, he found the other with so much pride in his eyes that he ultimately cracked a smile himself.

“I can do at least this much,” Lucifer said and took one of Sam’s hand in his own. “I cannot take away the pain you feel in your heart, but I can mend your wounds.” To Sam’s utter surprise, Lucifer bowed his head and placed the most gentle and soft kiss on his knuckles. “How do you feel now?”

“Better, thank you,” Sam chuckled, gripping Lucifer’s hand tight. “Do you really want to leave with me? I know you feel differently than I do, but”

“Stop, before you finish this sentence, and listen,” Lucifer interrupted Sam by holding up a hand. “I have to take back what I said before, that I couldn’t feel anything about all of this. It’s not true. I do feel something, but I cannot understand it yet. I want to protect you and I want you to be happy, this is why I will leave with you. I have no desire to hurt you or do horrible things when I am with you. Something about you is… different. And I like the feeling of being close to you.”

Sam didn’t think he had ever smiled this brightly, or felt so much joy before. Lucifer’s words sparked more than just a glimmer of hope, it was almost like a firework inside of his chest and he gripped his hand tighter at the intense feeling.”

“As if,” he said and looked up with a soft gaze, “you found something you didn’t know you missed before?”

Lucifer was startled for a moment, unsure what Sam meant, until it finally clicked.

“That sounds about right,” he said calmly. “Apparently you were not the only one missing something, Sam.”

“No, but I’m glad I found it,” Sam exclaimed and pulled Lucifer closer to him, into a tight embrace. He finally realized why it had felt so weird all the time, but now the confusion was gone and he saw the truth behind all of this. When Lucifer held him, he felt as safe as never before and the other’s strong arms wouldn’t vanish again, so much he knew. He felt truly blessed.

“I am too,” Lucifer mumbled against the boy’s head, a warm feeling spreading in his chest - the first in eons of his imprisonment. “Let’s go home, Sam.”

Sam nodded, even though he didn’t know where home was anymore. It didn’t really matter though. Home was where Lucifer was now and he would become stronger soon, too. Sam wanted to cherish this gift he had received and be worthy of having Lucifer in his life - no matter how hard he had to fight for it.

He understood why Lucifer had dared him to burn his last memory of his mother now. It was impossible to see before, but the letter had always been a burden on Sam’s mind, reminding him of what happened and made him feel an anguishing guilt that he could never shake off. Once it was gone though, Sam’s soul was free from his past, free from what he had always blamed himself for. It was a cruel thing to request and Sam was heartbroken when he watched his mother’s letter go up in flames, but he knew now why it had to be done. Yes, it had taken the destruction of a treasured memory and his whole life had to shatter, but he finally found the thing - no, the one - he was missing his whole life and this made every pain worth it.

Lucifer gently ended their embrace, but kept his arm around Sam, who in return laid his head against the slightly taller man’s shoulder. They exchanged another smile that didn’t need any words and walked out of the room and out of the church, together, completely ignoring Sam’s brother or any of the consequences their actions had. They were not important anymore. From now on, it was Lucifer and Sam and for the first time in years, Sam felt true happiness. He had to fall for the Devil to find it, but he was determined to never let it go again. So what if heaven would be after them? Being by Lucifer’s side felt right, it was where Sam belonged. He would never leave his side again, never in a million years.