#[ i left it vague in case you wanted to continue it feel free to make it as toxic as u want oops ] | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lovelyhan · 2 years ago

Text

— hoax ⟢

pairing: joshua x reader

summary: you’re a hostess that’s drowning in debt, and jisoo is a man with too many secrets to keep. making a clean break for it isn’t as easy as you’d hoped.

word count: 18.6k words

tags: mafia!shua, strangers to lovers, angst, smut

warnings: shua smokes cigarettes & has tatts...i think that should be a warning LOL, mentions of shady mafia business but nothing detailed, graphic sexual content (minors dni!!)

notes: psa that this is a fic i originally wrote for another fandom, but decided to repurpose for svt! in case you find the narration familiar, it's posted on ao3 as a genshin fic, i just did some tweaks to the story to make it fit shua better hehe ++ i loved writing this so much, but it didn't get as much love as i expected back so i've decided to share this w caratblr as well :')

smut tags: dub con in one of the earlier scenes, protected & unprotected sex, shua & reader are both whipped as fuck

svt taglist: @wonderfulshinee - @misssugarlips - @yourfavoritefreakyhan - @jeanjacketjesus - @just-here-to-read-01 - @hanihans - @venusrae - @taestrwbrry - @minnie-mouser22 - @dreamhannies - @thvhannie - @kkooongie - @gae-uls - @lenireads - @gaebestie - @ryusha-rose - @spk93

joshua taglist: @renjunphile - @potatofrieswithketchup - @pretty-trustme

“Rei, time’s up!”

Your current patron groans with contempt at the manager’s announcement. He was a salaryman that’s probably in his thirties, and has been visiting the bar for about two weeks now. It didn’t take long for him to become one of your regular guests.

“Rei, you’ll be here tomorrow, right?” he asks.

“Of course.” You flash him an apologetic smile as you untangle the arm that circles your waist. “I promise we’ll continue where we left off when you get back~”

This is how you normally appeared to your customers – the bubbliest escort in the entire red light district. It’s easy to lull men into a false sense of connection when you act so sweet and lovely; when you smile like the sun is in your eyes even in the middle of the night. In just six months of working in this place, the manager has considerably taken a liking to you, and you intend to keep up that track record just a few weeks more.

Then, you’d be free.

But no matter how much you doll yourself up for the evening; no matter how much money is signed on your paycheck, you can’t help but feel that something’s amiss.

It’s a lingering thought that tickles the back of your head every now and again. Your fellow hostesses once told you that feeling the way you do was all part of the job. So once you start feeling uncomfortable in your own skin – under the gazes of your own lecherous patrons – you pour yourself a drink and throw your head back with a ditzy smile. Despite that steadily growing void in her heart, their beloved Rei will continue to grin and bear it.

“They’re here again.”

You flash the manager a puzzled look once you make it back to the counter. “Who are we talking about?”

She presses her lips into a thin line, gesturing vaguely somewhere behind you. You manage to follow her line of sight discreetly, but when you see a pair of men in rugged suits seated near the entrance, your heart plummets to the pit of your stomach.

“I know you said you’ll deal with them, but they’re starting to unnerve the other girls,” the manager explains quietly. “Is it okay if you take care of this ASAP? I don’t want the bar to get mixed up in something bad.”

Dread sinks its claws into your skin as you mull over a response. The manager has been considerably patient with your dealings involving those loan sharks. But part of you knows that she’s only being this lenient because you were good at your job.

“Yeah, sorry. I’ll go talk to them now,” you mumble.

Each stride you took feels like a step closer to your own grave. It’s always these same, two men keeping tabs on you – both with full sleeves of tattoos and a missing finger or two. It would make sense that the other girls didn’t like them lingering around the property. After all, your first instinct is always to steer clear every time you see them.

“How can I help you?” you ask sweetly the moment you arrive at their table.

The first one glares at you through his tinted sunglasses, taking a drag of his cigarette none-too-discreetly. “Cut the crap. You know what we’re here for.”

He says your real name in a way that sounds like two sheets of styrofoam gnashing in your ears. You look around warily, hoping no one heard him.

“I go by Rei in my workplace, so I’d appreciate it if you addressed me as such,” you speak sternly, refusing to take a seat in their company. “What do you want this time? Didn’t we agree that I’ll be paying for the last installment this month?”

The second man snorts before bringing out an envelope from the lapel of his coat. “You sure about that? You got some nerve actin’ all feisty with the people kind enough to loan ya some cash.”

You accept the envelope with trembling hands – brows cinched as you take out the document inside. But the longer you take to scan its contents, the wider your eyes become.

It’s an approval notice for a loan of five million won, signed under your father’s name.

“W-What is this?” you stammer. “We didn’t submit any more loan requests.”

The first man shrugs – wholly unconcerned with your plight. And as he kills his cigarette on a crystalline ashtray, you feel your entire world crumbling before your eyes.

“Your old man specifically told us,” he began, words sounding more and more like a threat with each syllable. “That you’d take care of it all.”

You don’t know how you end up running barefoot in the streets after that. Your heels have long been ditched in an alley when you realized you can’t exactly get that far in them. And now, you’re mindlessly shouldering your way through the late night crowd – tuning out the people yelling your name in harsh voices. Those men came prepared; they even stationed a couple of their goons around the area. You can only evade them now because the streets were so packed, but you know better than push your luck.

Goddammit, you think to yourself – cringing a little when you step on a wet patch of something underfoot. I was almost free…

“Don’t let that bitch get away!”

Your body seizes up when you hear the loan shark’s voice closer than you anticipated. Fuck. They have you surrounded.

In the midst of your momentary distraction though, you fail to see another person who’s also on the run. The same as you. While you did excellently in evading all the other passers-by, you ended up crashing into him in the middle of the busy street anyways – the impact making you stumble to the ground.

“Shit, sorry!”

You look up with misty eyes – staring at the perpetrator with the intent to glare at him, but his doe-like gaze takes you by surprise. He’s adorned with a neatly-pressed suit, dark hair slicked back to perfection as he holds out a hand for you to take; the one not gripping a heavy-looking suitcase.

“I’m okay…” you mumble, getting back to your feet without accepting his help. “If anything, I should be the one who’s –”

“There she is!”

The two of you bristle at the loan shark’s voice, and you’re rooted to the spot – frozen with fear. You don’t notice the way the stranger you just ran into flickers his gaze between your trembling form and the lackeys coming from every direction. And you’re ignorant of how he manages to put two and two together before seizing your wrist.

“Come with me,” he murmurs, tugging you along before you can protest.

You know you should be skeptical of him. The district you work in is the perfect environment for scheming assholes like the men who are after you to use as a stronghold. For all you know, this person is the same breed. But there’s something in his firm yet gentle grip that tells you he means no harm. Even as he makes you run faster, farther, you feel none of the dread that slowly crept on you the moment those loan sharks cornered you at the bar.

Your lungs are burning by the time you make it out of the busy streets – nothing but the chirp of cicadas ringing in your ears. Mystery man makes you sit on a bench just outside a small temple, and you’re not exactly in the position to refuse.

“Ow…” You wince, glancing down only to see that your toes have cuts all over; blood and grime mixing with the wounds.

“Hmm. Wonder what a pretty thing like you got herself into,” the man sighs, raking a gloved hand through his messy black hair. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”

You don’t respond. You barely have the energy. The silence only deepens as you train your eyes on the ground. Your throat was parched from all that running, and you belatedly realize that you still haven’t eaten.

What’s worse is that the cuts on your feet sting like a bitch. Mystery man heaves a deep sigh, and you clearly hear the sound of leaves crunching beneath his shoes as he walks away. You try not to feel disappointed.

You didn’t expect him to stay and comfort you or anything like that. He was kind enough to go out of his way and take you somewhere those goons won’t be able to catch up. It would be stupid to ask for more. But still, you feel that hole in your heart rupture itself even wider – leaving you so hollow that you can’t even hope to fill the void anymore.

Your makeup is running. Your pedicure is a mess. These are some of the things that you always cared to pay attention to before timing in for work. But now, with nowhere else to go, none of them seem to matter anymore. Even if you spent a significant amount of time getting ready for tonight, you can’t be assed to give a damn.

This is so fucking pathetic.

You don’t want to live like this – working at a goddamn cabaret club just to pay off the debts your father always keeps racking up. All he ever does these days is drink himself dead before dragging his ass to the nearest pachinko machine. You hate it. You hate him. What did you ever do to deserve all the shit that’s being thrown your way?

Why do you have to deal with all of it alone?

“Here.”

You startle at the sound of your savior’s voice – surprised to see him as he tosses something on the ground in front of you. He came back? But what did he…

Are those sandals?

“I picked out a pair that matches your outfit best. Women are always particular about that kind of stuff, right?” he says nonchalantly, kneeling to the ground as he brings out a pack of wipes from a plastic bag. At that moment, you realize that he’s changed out of his stuffy gray suit in exchange for a pair of jeans and a ratty t-shirt.

Even his hair seems different now, like he'd washed out the wax keeping it in place. Now, it looks just a bit damp as the tips curl at the edges. How he managed to do all that so quickly, you have no clue.

“Hold still. I’m going to clean you up.”

You wince a little when the cool, wet tissue comes into contact with your skin. He doesn’t speak as he wipes off the blood and dirt from your feet, and you’re more mortified than grateful for his kind but uncalled for gesture. Is he trying to get you indebted to him? Are you going to have to pay this back, too?

A few moments later, you spot a general store a few blocks away and the pieces start to fit in your head. That must’ve been where he bought all this stuff. You look around as he continues cleaning you up, and notice that his suitcase is nowhere to be found either. Instead, he has a black knapsack hoisted across one shoulder – a red baseball cap hanging from one of the straps.

How did he manage to buy all this and get changed so quickly? Or were you just sulking about your stupid predicament for that long?

“There we go,” he says, tossing the soiled tissues into a nearby trash can before covering your wounds with…cute band-aids? “I’m not really one to stick my nose into other people’s business, but my mom would never let me hear the end of it if she found out I left a poor woman for dead.”

Mom? “Okay, but you didn’t have to do all of…this.”

Mystery man glances up at you with a lopsided smile – the light of the street lamps somehow accentuating the color of his eyes. He looks so much younger like this; dressed down like a college student in his first semester. Once he’s put all the bandages in place, he even goes the extra mile and slides the newly bought sandals on your now-clean feet.

“You’re right, pretty girl. I don’t have to.” He beams. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Your heart skips a beat. Everything about him is still rightfully suspicious, but you find yourself oddly happy with the care he’s given. This is the first time someone’s been so nice to you in a long while.

“Now that you’re good to go, I best be on my way.”

All of a sudden, that fleeting bliss dissipates in a puff of smoke. “...Wait, what? W-Where are you going?”

The man rises back to his feet, and it occurs to you just how tall he is. You swallow the lump in your throat, instinctively backing away from him on the bench. He’s still wearing that endearing look he showed you earlier, but when he speaks again, his voice holds none of his initial warmth.

“Somewhere that has nothing to do with you.”

The words lance through your heart the moment they leave his lips, and you ask yourself, why do you feel so…sad about parting ways with a complete stranger? You don’t even know his name. It shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

You don’t say anything as he takes his baseball cap and eases it atop his messy hair. You don’t utter a word when he starts walking away for real. But the moment you recall the fate that awaits you back at the red light district, the ridiculous debt your father had foolishly signed, and the pathetic life you’ve been wanting to escape from for so long…

Your new sandals crunch against the fallen leaves as you run after him. Your heart nearly leaps into your throat from the adrenaline, and before he can go any farther, you catch the mystery man by the hem of his shirt. He doesn’t even flinch. As if he expected you to follow him right from the start. That makes you wonder if he thinks you’re being a nuisance, but at this point, you can’t bring yourself to care.

“Take me with you. Please.”

He stares along with an unreadable look – his doe eyes shining in the dark as he watches you clutch onto the fabric of his shirt.

“If you come with me, you’ll never be able to go back,” he tells you up front. “You okay with that?”

In hindsight, maybe running away with a complete stranger isn’t far up in the best decisions you’ve made in life – god knows you’ve only made a few of those. Just because he showed you an ounce of kindness, doesn’t mean he’s a good person.

Still, the answer comes to you quite easily.

“Yeah,” you say, more confident than you’ve ever been. “Anywhere is better than a dump like this…”

He considers your answer for a moment before letting out a soft laugh. “This town must’ve fucked you up pretty badly, huh? Poor thing.” Mystery man holds out his hand again, and you’re a bit too glad that he’s speaking to you nicely again. “The name’s Joshua.”

“Joshua…?”

Well, that was obviously an alias. You consider telling him the one you go by at the bar as well, but when your eyes rivet to the floral sandals he bought for you on a whim, you immediately assume that you should tell him the truth. Even if he was doing the exact opposite.

You give him your real name with little hesitation, face warming at the intensity of his gaze. But at that moment, you don’t really care what happens anymore. All you want is to escape reality without looking back.

If you have to cling to a complete stranger to achieve that, then so be it.

...

“You were just about to ditch me, weren’t you?”

Joshua jolts like a cat dumped with ice-cold water – hand shying away from the doorknob of your hotel room with a sheepish look. “Me? Ditching you? You’re dreaming, princess!”

You let out an irritated noise, but your shoulders relax once you catch him plopping his bag on the mattress either way. He’s the one who told you that you can’t go back once you tagged along. You wanted to say that you’re going to make it his responsibility to take care of you, but your mother brought you up better than that.

Still…this all feels a bit surreal.

All your life, you’ve lived in the small town of Andong. You could never afford to make the trip to Seoul even if you wanted – given that a majority of your salary is dedicated to paying off those shitty loans. Yet now, you’re checked in one of the most beautiful hotels you’ve ever seen, courtesy of your stranger-than-life companion.

Now that you’re in a clearer state of mind, you start to consider the possibility of Joshua being a foreigner; if his name wasn't already a dead giveaway in and of itself.

Another thing you’re left thinking about is how well-off he really is. Not everyone can just book a fancy room at a fancy hotel. But when the two of you showed up at the front desk earlier tonight, he was surprisingly received with warm hospitality. Although, you suppose that all guests are treated the same way in high-end hotels. Not that you would know.

“Well, since we’re stuck together anyways, I’ll be showering first,” he grumbles, tossing his cap on the nightstand as he musses his own hair. “Ahh, I can’t wait to crash into bed.”

“Wait a minute. I thought we agreed I was going to shower first –”

Joshua shuts the door to the en-suite, clicking the lock before you can even finish.

That jerk…!

You angrily sprawl yourself across the mattress as a petty means of getting back at him. Let’s see if he can crash into bed comfortably now! But the abrupt movement makes the bag that Joshua left rustle in place. You shift around until you’re seated on the bed, taking a quick peek at the opened zipper. Somehow, it doesn’t surprise you to see thick wads of cash inside. You knew that you were right on the money to think there’s more to him than meets the eye.

The more rational part of you insists that you get out of here while you still can. That man is probably more dangerous than you think, and even if he’s acting all cheeky with you now, there’s no telling when he’ll decide to cut you off. You remember how quickly Joshua's mirthful countenance morphed into something…scarier when you asked where he was going earlier. Long story short, you do not want to mess with that.

“Hey, princess. It’s your turn.”

You scramble on the bed at the sound of his voice as you compose yourself in a way that doesn’t suggest that you’ve been going through his stuff. Joshua emerges from the bathroom with steam billowing from the doorway – a fluffy towel hanging low on his hips. But now that he was liberated from the confines of his clothes, you realize that his body was actually inked.

Twin koi fish curled around both of his pecs – accentuating the contours of his chest better than you’d expect. And when he turns around, there’s a massive caricature of a dragon splayed across his muscular back. You don’t know whether he’s oblivious of your observant stare or he’s just letting you enjoy the show. But either way, Joshua grants you an eyeful of his tattoos for a good amount of time.

He walks over to the table near the windows – grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter you didn’t know he was carrying around. Joshua takes a stick between his teeth, and you can’t peel your eyes away from the way he takes a drag after he lights it. But when his deep brown gaze finally flickers to yours, you’re not quick enough to disengage.

“So how long are you going to stare at me for?” He asks, amused.

Eye twitching with annoyance, you grab one of the pillows on the bed before throwing it right at his face. Joshua manages to catch it before that happens though, much to your dismay.

“None of your business!”

It’s only when you get under the spill of a hot shower that the gravity of your situation finally hits you. You absentmindedly scrub away the grime off your body as you think that you might’ve followed someone you shouldn’t have. Now that your prior amazement from seeing his tattoos had come and went, you realize that he didn’t have them inked on a whim. They were a symbol of status and power.

Working as a hostess means that you get to know a lot more shady guys than you’d otherwise meet under normal circumstances. But apart from those nasty debt collectors, you’ve done a great job at avoiding a lot of them. But now, you willingly waltzed into the den of someone that’s probably ten times worse.

Great.

You put on a bathrobe before heading out of the en-suite, peaking your head out of the door to make sure Joshua isn’t doing anything weird. But all you see is a tall man dozing softly on the bed – his still-wet hair dampening the pillows slightly. You sigh before padding back inside the room. Didn’t he ever learn that sleeping with damp hair is going to make him catch a cold in the morning?

For some reason, you end up grabbing a small, dry towel he left on the table – intent on patting down some of the moisture. Joshua lays still on his side, undisturbed in his slumber. You make sure you’re careful with how you dab the towel across his head; not really wanting him to wake up in the middle of it. But now that you’re close enough to study his face, you can feel yourself growing embarrassed. Joshua's thick lashes lay softly across the skin beneath his eyes, and when you look closer, you can almost see the tiny spots that dot his cheekbones.

You don’t like to admit, but he’s actually pretty…handsome.

A while later, you come to terms that you won’t be able to pat down his hair thoroughly if he’s asleep. That’s when you decide to towel dry your own hair for ten or-so minutes before climbing into bed with him.

The sheets feel smooth against your skin, but that does little to keep your mind off the fact that a gangster (at least, you assumed he was a gangster) is sleeping right next to you. You tell yourself not to sneak any glances, but you end up doing just that anyway – admiring each detail of his tattoos without really meaning to.

Is this really okay? Should I really let my guard down around someone like him?

All these thoughts drift in and out of your head, but in the end, you succumb to the day’s fatigue. Joshua bought dinner for the both of you once you got off the train on the way here, so your hunger was already abated. But you figure that a good night’s sleep is what your body needs to completely recuperate.

…But if he’s kind enough to patch up your wounds and buy you dinner, then gangster or not, maybe he isn’t such a bad person.

Joshua, however, makes you regret even thinking that literally the next second later.

The moment you’ve found a comfortable spot on the bed, the man beside you suddenly pounces – caging you in his strong arms before you can even draw a breath. His lips twitch into a lazy smile that borders on devilish, and you immediately figure out that you’re fucked.

“You’re a sweet little thing, aren’t you?” he laughs, tracing the swell of your lower lip with his finger. “Drying my hair ‘cause you’re worried about me? Princess, I’d be more careful if I were you. After all…”

When Joshua leans closer, you feel his breath fan against your ear – making you hate the way your body shudders from the feel of it.

“I’m not a good man.”

You should push him away – you know you should. But from the hypnotizing strokes of his tattoos to the endless honey brown of his eyes, you find Joshua whittling down your defenses alarmingly fast. When his mouth descends onto yours, you welcome him despite your voice of reason screaming for you to stop – to get away while you still can.

But that’s the thing, you can’t get away. Not when you willingly followed him in the first place.

His body is impossibly warm against yours, and you can’t help but respond to his touch whenever his dexterous fingers graze your skin. But as you let him deepen his tongue-filled kiss, you suddenly recall why you’re even here.

Persistent loan sharks. A never-ending debt.

And you have the gall to be doing all this?

“Joshua,” you plead, mustering the strength to push against his chest. “Please, stop.”

He doesn’t listen. Instead, Joshua nudges the folds of your bathrobe apart, exposing your chest to the cold air of your hotel room. A large hand moves to grope your breast, languidly massaging the supple flesh. But the sensation of his heated palm on your cold skin is enough to snap you back to your senses, and finally, you manage to retaliate.

“I told you to stop!” you shout, folding your knee high enough to kick him in the chest. Joshua obviously doesn’t expect this, and grunts in pain as he stumbles backwards on the mattress. He stares at you with a puzzled look, as if he didn’t try to take advantage of you only a few seconds prior.

“I didn’t come with you to be your fuckdoll, asshole,” you growled, tears stinging your eyes despite the anger in your voice. “Just because I’m a hostess, doesn’t mean I’m easy. Who the hell do you think you are?”

You expect him to lose his temper – to ‘remind you of your place’. Because that’s how gangsters usually operate. Going for the things they want without considering the repercussions on the other people involved. When he reaches out to you, you brace yourself for the oncoming impact. But instead of a hard slap to the face, Joshua caresses the side of your cheek almost apologetically. You startle at his touch – flashing him a perturbed look.

“Sorry, my mom’s always told me that I can be a bit too into the things I do,” he chuckles, thumb grazing the high of your cheekbone. “And that I can be a bit selfish and presumptive. When I did all those nice things for you today, I expected you’ll return the favor by whatever means~”

You don’t even have the time to think about how this man just brought up his mother in a serious conversation. Instead, you scowl at Joshua like he’s just lost his mind. “Doesn’t that just make you a scumbag?”

“When did I ever say I wasn’t?” He laughs. “Didn’t you find it the least bit suspicious that I was being kind to you without asking for anything in return? I’ll have you know that everyone has ulterior motives these days, princess.”

“I did,” you snap. “And I’m glad I didn’t trust you right off the bat.”

“Oh? But you trust me enough to share this room with me?”

You open your mouth, close it, open it again, but alas, no wise retort comes out. He’s right. You knew that Joshua was suspicious from the start, but you still threw everything to the wind and ran away with him. It’s not like you can go back now that everything has gone to shit, though. And you can’t say with confidence that you can find a place for yourself here in the city with no connections nor cash either.

All you have is Joshua, as much as it pains you to admit.

“Come here.”

Joshua eases himself back to his side of the bed and holds out his arms – as if inviting you into his space. You respond with a bizarre look that makes him snort. “You think I’ll come anywhere near you after that stunt you pulled?”

“Hey, you don’t want to have sex. That’s cool. I’m not so much of a scumbag that I’ll force you to do it,” he tells you nonchalantly. “But can we at least cuddle? It’s been quite a while since I’ve felt the warmth of a woman.”

“...You’re really, really strange. You know that?”

“Mhmm. So I've been told.”

Gods, you’re tired. Downright exhausted. You just want to knock yourself out and forget about the misfortune of having landed someone like Joshua as a companion. You appreciate that he isn’t the type to coerce women into sex, but…ugh! This guy’s impossible to figure out.

…Still, you inch closer to his welcoming touch, biting down a sharp retort when you hear him chuckling softly at your surrender. Joshua wraps his strong arms around your frame, and you close your eyes – catching a whiff of a salty breeze in the air. You wonder if the scent is coming from the sheets or his wild, wild hair.

“This isn’t so bad, now is it?” he teases.

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

“Aww, you’re making an awful lot of demands to the person who saved you! I think I liked you better when you were bashful and on the brink of tears, princess.”

You scoff. “So not only are you a scumbag, but you’re also a sadist.”

“Mmm, I don’t have any objections about that, really.”

God, just what have you gotten yourself into?

...

If you thought your first night as Joshua’s unwitting travel companion was a big hassle, you’re certainly in for the ride for the next few days.

He’s always out during the daytime – feeding you excuses like he has to meet up with a couple of friends before leaving you alone and bored in the hotel room. It’s a good thing that the cable service here covered your favorite noontime soap operas, so you could kill time for at least a few hours. Joshua always returns before dinner, and orders room service while engaging you in small talk. He doesn’t tell you about his daytime escapades, nor do you ask.

But when the daily cycle repeats itself for the third time, you decide to put your foot down.

“Are you trying to get me to die of boredom or something?” you ask him once the bellboy takes away your food trays for the night. “I know you’re doing some super shady stuff somewhere out there, but would it kill you to show me around? First time I’ve ever been to Seoul and I’m confined in a hotel room.”

Joshua stares at you dubiously. “Princess, you’re not some inmate I’m keeping locked up in a cell. I never said you weren’t allowed to go sightseeing or whatever.”

You pause. Right, he never did say that explicitly… But you can’t really tell him you were too afraid to go out wandering on your own.

“Have you been behaving like I kidnapped you or something?” Joshua snorts, walking over to the windows to light a cigarette. Your face scrunches up at that. The room’s going to reek of tobacco smoke now. “How about this: let’s walk around the shopping district tomorrow morning. Besides, the spare clothes provided by the hotel are just going to rack up on the checkout bill. Might as well get you some better outfits instead.”

Looking down at your current attire, you can’t help but think he’s right. You couldn’t exactly bring any of your clothes with you on this very impromptu trip, and you refused when Joshua offered to lend you a bunch of his own. For some reason, a whole duffel bag full of men’s clothes arrived a day after you checked in, and when you asked Joshua about it, he simply said that he prides his men for always delivering the necessities for a trip.

His men. Meaning, this asshole is definitely a big shot kingpin of some sketchy organization and he’s just keeping his mouth shut about it. It’s a good thing that the staff offered to give you some hotel-issued clothes for a certain price, though. Like hell you’re going to prance around in a mafia boss’ clothes.

But…did you hear him right? Did Joshua just offer to take you shopping?

“Don’t you dare think you can buy my trust with material things,” you warn him, bringing your knees closer to your chest on the bed. “I’m still on to you.”

“So scary,” your companion chuckles, tilting his chin up before puffing out a cloud of smoke. He looks like he’s just about to follow that up with another jab to get on your nerves, but something seems to catch his gaze.

Then, you realize that Joshua is staring at your feet.

Before you can blurt out some offhand remark about a foot fetish, though, he asks, “You won’t be needing band-aids anymore, right? I can always run to the drugstore and get you some.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to do that. My feet are fine,” you insist before following it up with a softer, “But I might need a new pedicure, though…”

“What was that?”

“Nothing. What time are we going out again?”

The next morning, Joshua jostles you out of bed at seven A.M. sharp – much to your utter dismay. Judging by how never stays out too late despite his questionable business ventures in the city, it probably makes sense for him to be a morning person. He tells you that the shopping district doesn’t even open until nine, but the bastard insists that the early morning sun is good for your skin!

As he shows you around the main avenue, though, your initial unwillingness to go out so early in the goddamn morning slowly ebbs – having been replaced with pure, unadulterated awe because wow. The big city really is a sight to see. It’s so different from your hometown that you kind of regret not visiting sooner.

Thankfully, there are some places just outside the shopping district that open much earlier. Joshua escorts you to a nearby restaurant – insisting that you can order to your heart’s content. You receive the offer with equal parts bewilderment and concern, but cooping yourself up in that damn hotel room gives you little time to think about courtesy. If he’s willing to pay for your expenses, who are you to refuse?

Breakfast goes the same way all the other meals you shared with Joshua have gone so far. You try to probe his reasons for visiting Seoul as subtle as you can, but he always skirts around the topic with a face as smooth as butter. It’s obvious that he isn’t going to start talking about whatever undercover mission he’s on, so instead, you ask about his family.

“My family?” he repeats.

You nod. “Yeah. You brought up your mom like...twice already. Kinda made me wonder if a lunatic like you is actually a family man.”

“Hey! While you’re not wrong about me being a lunatic, I’ve yet to show you that side of me. That’s a pretty mean assumption.” Joshua pouts, scooping a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

You’re not even going to ask him to elaborate.

“Hmm… But I guess you could say I’m a family man,” he hums right after swallowing his food. “I’m an only child, but I've always wanted a family of my own, you know? Old suburban home, white picket fence, six kids, and a dog –”

“Six?” you echo. “Were you that lonely growing up?”

Joshua snorts. “Where I'm from, it's completely normal to have a ton of kids.”

“Where are you from anyway?”

“The U.S. Los Angeles, specifically.”

Los Angeles… Well, at least he's honest about that. His answer also proves your hunch about him being a foreigner.

“What are you doing so far away from home then?” you ask. “Won’t your parents miss you or something? Don’t you miss them?”

An emotion you can’t quite identify passes over Joshua's face – something grim and untouchable. You’re about to insist that he doesn’t need to answer or anything, but the look disappears faster than it surfaced and he’s back to flashing you a shit-eating grin like usual.

“Hmm, why are you talking about family when we’re out on a date?” he sulks. “You’re so unromantic. How about you teach me how to use chopsticks instead?”

You stare at him, puzzled. “You…don’t know how to use chopsticks? But your Korean is so fluent.”

He rolls his eyes. “Hasty generalization. Just because I can speak the language, doesn't mean I'm good at the other cultural customs, you know.”

Just like that, Joshua expertly makes you forget about all that talk about his family. He distracts you well enough until you finally arrive at the shopping district, and the first thing he does is drag you to a beauty salon.

“Uh, I thought we were buying clothes,” you tell him dryly.

He hums, already signing the clipboard that the lady behind the reception counter hands to him. “Didn’t you say you wanted to get a pedicure first?”

“...I was joking.”

“Well, I’m not.” He grins before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll come get you in half an hour. That sound good?”

You can’t even let yourself feel the heat rushing to your face because Joshua is already sliding a black credit card onto the counter – the limitless variant that you can only dream of getting for yourself. What on earth is he doing with that bag of cash back in the hotel room when he had one of those the whole time?

“That’s a gorgeous boyfriend you have, miss.” Your beautician sighs as she massages your feet with moisturizer. “I wonder when I’ll get lucky to land a guy that hot.”

You’re compelled to tell her, no. That potential criminal mastermind is most certainly not your boyfriend. But the way this woman’s gentle hands press down on your toes reminds you of the night you met Joshua. How he went out of his way to clean the dirt off your feet without uttering a single word in complaint. How his eyes appeared so disarmingly brown that you can’t forget their color even if you wanted to.

And not to mention that innocent kiss he gave you before making his leave earlier…

Nope. Get it together, you chide yourself. That is the same douchebag that tried to have sex with you the other night. And are you forgetting the fact that he’s hinted at his own criminal activity several times now?!

But in spite of yourself, you respond to your beautician’s words with a gentle smile.

“I’m sure you’ll meet him soon.”

…

“Joshua, this is way too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, thank you for spoiling me rotten, but what the fuck? Who buys a hundred thousand won's worth of clothes for a woman he barely knows?”

“Does it matter? Not to brag, but I’ve got lots of cash to burn, princess.”

“...That’s – That’s not the point!”

It’s not even lunch time but you’re already arguing with Joshua over his irresponsible expenses. Like, sure, this all totally works in your favor, but you still have a shred of decency at least! He’s already bought you three expensive dresses, a nice pair of designer jeans, and some chic-looking heels. He got you the last one from the store the moment Joshua noticed your stare lingering too long on the display window.

You used to joke around with your old college friends about getting a sugar daddy in the past but… Is this really the right way to go about it? Why does it feel like you’re doing something illegal?!

“Don’t you like them?” he asks, lower lip swelling into a pout. “We can always pick out something else. Oh, I forgot to make you choose a swimsuit.”

“...What do I need a swimsuit for?”

He spares you another conniving smile, taking something out from inside his jacket before showing it to you.

“Are those…” You gape at him. “Plane tickets?”

Joshua nods like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Yep. We’re going on vacation to Jeju Island. Doesn’t that sound exciting?”

No, it doesn’t! Not in the slightest!! Okay, maybe you’re a bit curious to see what Jeju's famous coastlines have to offer, but… That doesn’t explain why Joshua is so willing to spend unspeakable amounts of money at the drop of a hat. You wonder what’s so damn special about you for him to keep spoiling you like this, but then again, maybe he’s never been frugal to begin with. Unlike yourself – who’s always had to work for every penny just to make ends meet.

The realization dawns on you like a sucker punch to the gut. Sure he’s kind enough (more like, crazy enough) to let you tag along with him, but the fact that the two of you live in completely different worlds only starts to sink in at that moment.

Right now, Joshua is donned with a maroon shirt with the buttons done only up to the middle – giving you a glimpse of those tattoos you’ve never grown tired of looking at. He matched it with a black leather jacket and a nice pair of trousers, looking like a million dollars in every single way. Even if you managed to change into a more stylish fit compared to your hotel clothes, you still feel grossly inferior – not that the two of you were on equal footing in the first place.

This isn’t all that different from that sinking sensation you always felt in the bar – a feeling like you’re somewhere you’re not supposed to be. Somewhere you don’t belong.

Joshua is a goddamn big shot, and you? You’re just a parasite. You don’t deserve all of this finery. You don’t even deserve his company at all.

If he notices how you’ve gone noticeably silent as he leads you to an athletics store, Joshua doesn’t bring it up. He merely holds up all the bags of unnecessary purchases in one hand, and your own hand in the other. You don’t fault the lady at the salon for thinking this guy was your boyfriend. To an outsider, the two of you must’ve looked like a couple in their mid-twenties.

But even if he practically jumped you last time, you know better than to expect more than what he’s already giving you. Besides, you didn’t run away with Joshua just to get together with him…

Right?

“Does this look okay?”

You come out of the dressing room to show Joshua the swimsuit he picked out for you. He glances up from his phone, and you try not to let the mesmerized look on his face get to your head.

“You’re looking real sexy right now, princess,” he admits – pocketing his phone as he walks to the front of your stall. “I knew it. Blue really suits you.”

“Quit saying weird things,” you mumble, shyly draping your arms over your chest. “Do you want me to get it or not?”

“More importantly, do you want to get it?”

“H-Huh?”

All of a sudden, Joshua pushes you back inside the stall – locking the door behind him before you can utter a protest. There’s a serious look on his face that you don’t get to see a lot, but you don’t get to ponder on it much. He’s quick to place both of his large hands on your shoulders, making you face the full-body mirror inside without any delay.

“Do you not like receiving gifts, gorgeous?” he whispers, and you hate how your skin prickles at the new pet name. “You’ve been so against everything I bought for you all day, even though you’re the one who picked them out yourself.”

“Joshua –”

One of his hands starts to descend, brushing across your arm and onto the curve of your waist. His other hand teases the straps of your bikini top, sending involuntary shivers running down your spine. To make things worse, your breath hitches as you meet Joshua’s gaze in the mirror – piercing doe eyes holding you hostage with a single glance.

“Or maybe you don’t like receiving gifts from me,” he considers. “Well, I am a bad guy. If you want me to cut it out, you can tell me up front. I just hate seeing that look on your face.”

“...What look?” you whisper – trying your best to distract yourself from the heat of his touch.

Joshua sighs as he rubs your exposed skin tenderly. “The look you make when you’re sad. You’ve always been making that look ever since we left for the city. Honestly, I’ve even considered sending you back home a couple of times -”

“No,” you cut him off sharply. “D-Don’t send me back. Please. Anywhere but there.”

You don’t even notice that your own hands moved on their own accord – palms placed on top of his much larger ones from where they now rest on your hips. Joshua stares at your reflection with wide eyes before he sighs, burying his face in the hollow of your neck.

This is a dangerous position to be in. He easily covers your body with his own, and you can only do so much to hold back the noises threatening to spill from your lips as Joshua massages your sensitive skin.

“Then why do you keep refusing me?” he murmurs, teeth grazing the column of your throat. “From what I recall, you’re the one who came to me, princess. I thought you’d be more thick-skinned than that. Other women would kill to be in your place, you know.”

“That’s because I don’t get you, Joshua,” you argue, biting your lip when he starts to suck on your skin. “Y-You can be an ass at times, but you still do all these nice things for me anyway. You’re even splurging a shit-ton of money for no good reason. I get that you’re loaded but…why? Why are you being so kind to me?”

He lets out a soft laugh that reverberates sweetly across his chest – you feel the vibrations from where he presses himself behind you, and you have to clench your thighs together to stem your pooling desire. “You’re not used to being treated well by the people around you, huh?”

You scoff – the accusation stinging more than it should. “You think?”

Joshua doesn’t respond immediately – letting himself get a feel of your pliant body for as long as you allowed it first. He tries to familiarize himself with how your skin feels against his fingers; where your erogenous zones are, and the other spots that make you blush like a schoolgirl. It’s a bit selfish of him to delay such an important answer, but Joshua is nothing if he’s not selfish.

“When I was assigned to go to Korea, my…employer gave me an ultimatum – one that involves my family back home,” he tells you quietly. “If I don’t go back to L.A. with substantial results, they’ll be the one to suffer the punishment.”

Suddenly, you could see through the sensual haze that hung between the both of you seconds prior. Shock paints itself raw on your face as you blurt out, “You were blackmailed?” God, no wonder he didn’t want to talk about his family.

“Heh. I’m used to being blackmailed, pretty girl. It’s part of my job,” Joshua speaks nonchalantly. “But…that doesn’t mean I didn’t drag my ass here, nearly overwhelmed with anxiety. I’d kill a man if I was ordered to do it, but if my family’s lives are at stake? Anyone would be terrified.”

You feel your heart sink at the way his expression shifts into something more melancholic. Joshua exchanges his suggestive caresses for a proper embrace. He hugs you from behind, breathing in the scent of cheap shampoo still lingering in your hair.

“What does that have to do with me?” you whisper. “I don’t understand…”

“When you bumped into me at Andong that night, you kind of snapped me out of it,” he chuckles. “I couldn’t think of anything else but my job and my parents, but then you came along. Honestly, I was only supposed to help you get away from the assholes chasing you but…”

“I ran after you…” you continue, feeling more embarrassed than you should.

Oh. You don’t even have the right to feel like shit for being with Joshua because you chose to be here, dammit! Why do you keep forgetting that?

“Exactly.” Joshua hums as he snakes an arm in front of your stomach, pushing your body against his chest. “I’m not always this territorial, you know, but you practically offered yourself up. Do you know what that does to a guy like me?”

You shouldn’t find it so fucking hot when his other hand trails up from your navel, your chest, all the way to your neck – thick fingers pressing down your throat with ample pressure. Your gazes meet in the mirror, and you don’t miss the near-manic glint in his eyes as Joshua holds onto you possessively.

“Now tell me, princess. Do you want the swimsuit or not?”

You can’t help the shuddering sigh that escapes your lips. At this point, you have no choice but to let him buy you the damn thing. You’re pretty sure Joshua’s aggressive display is enough to make you soak through your bottoms, and it’s not like he’s going to take no for an answer either.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as he eases his hand away from your neck. “I’m just…not used to wearing all of this. It’s like I’m not meant to. I’ve always just settled with clothes that go on sale, you know.”

“...Well, how do you feel about the stuff I give you?”

“Um. They’re all pretty, I guess?”

“Do you wanna wear them?”

“O-Of course.”

Finally, Joshua peels himself away – only to twirl you around to face him directly. His tousled black hair is sticking out every which way, but all you can focus on are his rich brown irises, nearly drowning you in those endless pools of honey.

“Then you better wear them unapologetically,” he tells you, tucking a tuft of your hair behind your ear. “A princess needs only the finest garbs. Why do you think I call you that all the time, huh?”

“To get a rise out of me?”

Joshua barks out a laugh. “I guess I can’t say no to that. But anyways, the point still stands: I’ll give you anything and everything in the world. All you have to do is ask.”

After what seems like an eternity inside that damn dressing room, you manage to kick him out of the stall before putting your clothes back on. You end up replaying everything he just told you like a broken record. Anything and everything? This man is a different kind of delusional.

But you can’t really afford to think about it much. Just as you thought, the evidence of your rather…risqué encounter with Joshua is lathered across the inseam of your bottoms, and you shamefully wipe it off with a napkin you nabbed from the restaurant.

When the two of you head back to the cashier to make your nth purchase of the day, you’re vaguely aware of the other sales persons stealing glances at you and Joshua. Well, if you were in their shoes, you’d certainly find it odd why it took almost thirty minutes for you to try on a damn swimsuit. But fortunately, Joshua's reputation precedes him even at a shopping center all the way in Seoul. None of them dare to speak to him, much more raise any complaints.

“Couldn’t you have waited to sit down and have the talk with me back in our hotel room?” you groan once you make it out of the store. “I’m sure those guys think you fucked me in the stall or something.”

“Would you like that?” Joshua teases, and you’re sure he would’ve pulled you close to him if only his hands weren't full of shopping bags. “Does my princess get off on the idea of being fucked silly in a dressing room?”

“Don’t push it, asshole.”

You meant to punctuate the words with a borderline scowl, but all that makes itself known on your face is a sheepish smile that you can’t quite bite down. Joshua notices this, of course, but instead of making you flustered about it like usual, he offers to flag down a taxi on the way back to the hotel instead of walking.

The last thing he needs is to ruin your new pedicure, after all.

...

A week later, you and Joshua arrive at Jeju Island.

You didn’t even consider the possibility of this place having an airport. All this time, you assumed that sea travel was the way to go for them. But you were surprisingly greeted by the sight of a modern-looking terminal as you and Joshua waited for your luggage. He’s been quiet for the whole ride, and you’d be lying if you said that doesn’t concern you even a little. Joshua not running his mouth just to piss you off means something was up.

But when the two of you finally make it outside, he’s back to his usual self.

“So, do you want to sample Jeju's finest mandarin orchards, or do you want to settle down at the hotel first?” he asks with a chipper smile. “Though you do look like you want to take a nap.”

“I do,” you reply, yawning as you lean against his shoulder. “Can’t we just cuddle today?”

“Oh? You’re offering cuddles for free? Who are you and what did you do my princess?”

“...Cringe.”

“Wha – Did you just say I’m cringe?!”

Your banter is interrupted by a man in a suit clearing his throat. You stare at him with thinly veiled confusion, wondering what he needed.

“Sir Joshua. We’ve been anticipating your arrival.”

…Sir Joshua?

“Oh, Chan. I didn’t think you’d be the one stationed here,” your companion greets the man with a smile – plucking your duffel bag from your grasp before handing it to the newcomer. “Tell the driver to bring us to the hotel first.”

Chan nods swiftly. “Understood, sir.”

That’s how you find yourself in the backseat of a high-end limousine – speeding through the scenic roads of Jeju as you and Joshua bask in the silence. He’s busy talking to someone on the phone, but you can’t bring yourself to eavesdrop on their conversation. It feels wrong to do so.

Instead, you let yourself wonder what he has planned. After he fulfills his mission, what then? Is he going to take you back to L.A.? You’re not so deluded to think that he’ll stay here with you when he has a family waiting for him. But the idea of traveling all the way to his homeland makes you a little queasy. You’ve just gotten used to visiting far-away places in Korea. You think you’re going to need a bit more momentum before packing up to the other side of the world.

…Does he work well in the cold? You barely see him sweat even in the humid air of the summer. Maybe Joshua is the type of person who can easily adapt to the current climate. When that train of curiosity starts to pick up, though, you realize that it’s a little hard to stop.

You want to know more about him. About his habits, his quirks, his family, and his work. He obviously likes you enough to keep showering you with gifts. Of course, you’ve tried asking a few questions about those in the past, and Joshua merely brushed them off with a laugh.

But things are different now. Ever since that…fateful encounter in the dressing room, he’s been more open with you. More up front about the things going on inside his head. If you push the right buttons, then you might be able to understand him a bit better.

Joshua pockets his phone about five minutes later, leaning against you before circling his arms around your waist. “Hmph. Can’t believe I’m still forced to think about work.”

“You can always just switch off your phone,” you suggest jokingly.

He only sighs in response, and you pat his head gingerly as a means of comfort. “By the way, I planned on scheduling a trip for Sunrise Peak, but turns out, it's closed to tourists for the weekend.” Joshua looks up at you, pouting. “Sorry, princess. I can only take you to the beach.”

He was planning a visit to Sunrise Peak? Well, you haven’t seen it with your own eyes yet, but the fact that Joshua is intuitive enough to hazard guesses about what you might and might not like…

You want to familiarize yourself with him, the same way he so effortlessly does with you.

Not giving him any leeway to pull back, you grab his face and mesh your lips on top of his. Joshua doesn’t respond for a few seconds – and you can almost imagine him staring at you with wide, brown eyes. But eventually, he laughs into the kiss before pressing his mouth firmly against yours.

“That’s fine by me,” you murmur.

As long as I’m with you.

...

Your hotel room back at Seoul was one of the best you’ve seen, but the one here on Jeju just set the bar even higher.

Once the two of you have settled down in your suite, you gaze around in awe at the interior. Everything is mostly made out of wood, which further adds to the appeal of it all. Seashell curtains, exotic carpets, hand-made wind chimes – they have it all. Not to mention, this room in particular comes with a private pool just by the balcony, along with a view that overlooks the sea. Joshua teases you about how excited you are – just like a kid on a school trip – but you decide to let his impudence slide.

“Aren’t you going to swim with me?”

You gaze at him sulkily by the edge of the pool, watching as Joshua smokes a cigarette on top of a folding chair. He’s already changed into his swimming trunks – having removed his shirt and other accessories. Yet he still refuses to get in the pool with you. Still, Joshua gets up from his chair with a soft laugh, padding closer as he crouches over the edge.

“You should know about the delicate art of having a smoke while watching your girl have fun,” he tells you, taking a drag as if to prove a point.

Your eye twitches. “You’re the one who picked out my swimsuit, so you better have fun with me!”

Despite all his bravado, you don’t miss the look on Joshua's face when you yank on his leg – the forward momentum easily making him topple into the swimming pool. You let out an unflattering laugh as he flounders in the water for a few seconds before Joshua rises back to the surface with an annoyed look on his face.

“Hey, I don’t remember you being this much of a brat, princess,” he grumbles, picking off the doused cigarette floating in the pool before tossing it back on the concrete.

“That’s my way of telling you to quit,” you say, snickering to yourself. “Seriously, it always smells like cigarettes in our old hotel room. The smoke detector must’ve been busted or something… Joshua?”

While you prattled on about the fact that you disliked a habit that he probably formed years before he even met you, Joshua waded through the water and cornered you by the side of the pool. You gulp, observing how the water glistens across his skin as his tattooed chest stands proud for you to see.

“You know, I noticed a little something over the past few days,” he whispers – mouth twitching into a no-good smile as he reaches a hand to cup your jaw. “You really like staring at my chest, don’t you?”

“Wrong. I like staring at your ink.”

“But it’s still staring, isn’t it?” Joshua breathes out an airy laugh before planting a kiss on your forehead – the same way he did that time at the beauty salon. The patch of skin that’s grazed by his lips burns when he pulls away, and you hate how the sensation spreads across the rest of your face.

“How about we get you inked someday?” he offers.

“Me? Getting a tattoo?” You blink. “Uh, I used to think about getting one when I was still in college, but…?!”

All of a sudden, this bastard places his hands on your waist before hoisting you out of the water like you weigh nothing more than a bag of rice. You scowl at him, thrashing around and splashing water everywhere. But Joshua doesn’t seem to be bothered by all your flailing. He even seems to be observing your lower body like he’s trying to figure out how to chop up each part for later.

“Hmm… I think one on your thigh would suit you,” he says, lowering you onto the edge of the pool. “Navel tattoos are pretty hot, too.”

“But what’s the point if no one can see?” you huff.

“Hey, my tatts are always covered,” Joshua reminds you. “That’s because only a select few are deserving to see them.”

His words ignite a surge of heat inside your chest. If you weren’t blushing before, you certainly are now. “...You think I’m deserving, then?”

Your companion spreads your legs wider, easing himself into the space between as he holds your thighs firmly in his hands. Joshua stares into your eyes with a gaze that’s meant to devour. You’ve always found it odd how much self-control he can actually exercise. Apart from the first night he tried to pounce on you, and that little escapade in the dressing room, he never once tried to make any moves on you again. For someone who talks big about how possessive and territorial he can be, Joshua is being awfully ascetic.

“Of course you are,” he murmurs. “Once we’re done here, I’ll bring you to the best tattoo artist in L.A. He’s the one who did both of my pieces.”

Something about the promise in his words makes your heart leap with delight. He’s…going to bring you to Los Angeles?

“Are you going to let me meet your parents, too?” you half-joke, shying away from his intense gaze.

“Why not?” he asks. “My mom loves independent girls. You’ve only been relying on yourself before you met me, right? That’s pretty awesome.”

You shrink away from the compliment, unused to being praised about that segment of your life. “I’m not sure how she’s going to react about me being a hostess, though.”

Joshua shakes his head. “Believe it or not, you’re one of the few people who can put me in my place, sweet girl. I’m convinced that she automatically takes to someone like that.”

“So you’re a problem child, then?”

“Ehh, can’t say I’m not.”

Just when you thought he’ll finally let his self-restraint snap, you and Joshua end up talking about his life in America by the poolside. He tells you about how his father taught him how to fish in the lake the next county over, how to hunt and survive out in the wilderness. He tells you about his mother, and how he’d do anything just to guarantee her safety; even if it comes at the expense of his own. He willingly divulges all his fond memories of his hometown, but not once does Joshua allude to anything involving his work.

You try not to take it so personally. After all, in spite of the drastic development in your…friendship? Relationship? Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re someone he hasn’t really known all that long.

But as the two of you marvel at the twilight sun sinking on the faraway horizon, it seems that Joshua managed to read your mind.

“Can you believe it’s only been two weeks since we met?” he chuckles, hand inching closer to rest on top of yours.

“Nope,” you sigh. “I feel like I’ve known you far longer than that.”

“Heh. Time really flies when you’re having fun, does it?”

You couldn’t have said it better yourself. Honestly, you can’t even recall the last time you had fun. During the past few months, each day passed by painfully slowly. Despite being adored as Rei the hostess, you never had fun back at the bar; nor did you have fun coming home to your alcoholic of a father.

As you glance over at Joshua – whose face is generously lit up by the soft orange light – you wonder if it’s really okay to turn your back on your life and just live the rest of your days by his side. It’s only been two weeks, but there was never a dull moment with him. But can you even afford to be more selfish than you already are?

“You really have a staring problem, you know that?”

“...Do you have a sixth sense or something?”

“I’m a trained fighter, princess. I’m supposed to know when I’m being watched.”

There it is – his first casual mention of his line of work.

You can’t exactly narrow down the possibilities of what exactly it is that Joshua does for a living. You’re pretty sure that he’s in the same type of business as those loan sharks, but on a much larger scale. What’s more is that he’s trained to fight – as if his purpose lies more on confrontation than diplomatic relations. Him being stationed all the way here in Korea gives you a slight clue that he might be trying to settle the score with someone on behalf of his employer, though you can’t really say for sure.

But…you purposely shove all these thoughts in the back of your head as you lace your fingers around his neck – bringing his forehead against yours. Joshua doesn’t resist your advances. He even gazes at you with the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen, a hint of fondness shining in his vibrant irises.

Before meeting the man in front of you, you’ve always assumed that love takes time. You can’t call it love if you don’t even know the person that well! This is the very same thing you used to tell patrons who wanted to start a serious relationship with you back at the bar. But Joshua?

You don’t know how, but he managed to fill that void that’s long been tearing your heart to shreds. That seemingly ephemeral emptiness; the hollow space resting deep inside your chest – he filled it all up in the span of two weeks. Whether it be with all those expensive gifts and trinkets, or his worthwhile company alone, you don’t feel empty anymore. You feel so blissfully whole that you’d gladly lose yourself in him if it meant you never had to feel alone ever again.

“Shua, can I ask for something?”

“Heh. This is new. You never ask for anything,” he comments, and you still smell traces of tobacco in his breath. “What is it? Anything my princess wants, I’ll give to her in a heartbeat.”

On any other day, you would’ve chided him for saying something so cheesy – as if you haven’t gotten used to the way he speaks to you. But now, with the early evening breeze blowing all around, and the man who reminded you how it feels to be alive sitting so, so close to you…

“Can you make me yours?” you whisper.

Joshua stares at you, a low laugh rumbling in his bare chest. “You were already mine the moment you asked to come with me. Or are you forgetting that?”

Hot. His hands are hot against your hips – going lower and lower as he teases the ridge of your bottoms. God, you just want him to get it over with. You want him to grab your ass and take you by the poolside right here, right now. But you know, all too well, that Joshua isn’t going to let himself fall into the depths of his own depravity like that. Not until you give him a clearer sign.

“No…” you murmur, hoisting your thigh over his hips until you’re straddling his lap. “I want you –” You press your breasts against his lean chest. “To make me –” Your fingers trail up his neck, tangling them in his wild black hair.

“Yours.”

You expect him to tease you like he always does – with that irritatingly handsome smile of his. But Joshua's eyes grow half-lidded as you press yourself closer to him, and you could’ve sworn his grip on your hips only became tighter.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, pretty girl,” he warns you huskily. “I don’t want you to end up being the sore loser after I’m done with you.”

You chuckle, lips grazing his forehead, his eyelids, his nose. When you reach the spot just over his lips, you let your own hover for just a few seconds longer.

“I know,” you tell him. “I know, and I’m ready to lose.”

If it’s you, I won’t ever mind.

Joshua lets out a strangled noise, like he’s barely holding on to what’s left of his own sanity. You’re slightly elated at the information. That just means he’s about to let himself go. To ravage you like you deserved.

You’re not sure if it’s because of his own urgency or he’s just showing off. But Joshua makes a quick display of strength by picking you up while you’re still on his lap and getting back on his feet at the same time. He wastes no time mending your lips together – carnal and hungry and all sorts of impatient. Your legs immediately circle around his hips, and you bemoan all the days you wasted not getting kissed stupid by him.

But you console yourself with the idea that right now, you have all the time in the world.

...

The floorboards are damp with pool water, and so are the sheets. But you hardly notice it as Joshua strips you of the swimsuit he so carefully picked out for you. He tosses the spandex somewhere on the floor, and you even hear the wet plop as it hits.

You feel like you should be cold – fresh out of the swimming pool and all – but the heat of Joshua’s body steadily permeates into yours, and can’t help but lean closer, closer, as close as you can –

“I love you,” you whisper in-between kisses, feeling the evidence of his own arousal grinding against your own. You think the words don’t have as much weight when you’re doing something so openly intimate, but you don’t care.

He laughs, the sound sending tingles straight to your toes. “You sure you’re not just getting caught up in the moment, princess?”

You still have it in you to flash him a sulky pout, bringing his face right in front of yours as you spare him all the adoration you have in a single look. You desperately want him to know just how much you love him. You want him to carve this moment into memory and think of it even when the two of you are apart.

You want to anchor yourself so deep into Joshua that he can’t forget you even if he tries.

“Do you think I’m lying?” you whisper.

He sighs. “No.”

When he mouths the words I love you back in his own lust-fueled kisses, your heart soars; your body heats up – becoming more and more receptive to his lingering touch. Joshua’s lips never stray too far, even as he lathers the slick that’s collected between your thighs. His long fingers tease your entrance with the intention of seeing you squirm, and you hate how much you love it.

“Been waiting for you to come to me…for so long,” he growls, sliding two fingers inside you with embarrassing ease. “Do you know how hard it is to control myself around you? Especially after that time in the dressing room?”

Huh, so even he still thinks about that day. You giggle at the ferociousness of his words, but the wanton look in his eyes softens when you caress the side of his face.

“Two weeks isn’t a long time, Shua,” you tell him.

“It’s long enough if you’re as pent up as I am.”

As he works his fingers between your thighs, you can’t help but sneak a glance at the hard length straining against his abdomen. It’s been a while, so your mouth practically waters at the thought of Joshua sinking his thick cock inside you – fast and hard and everything you’ve ever dreamed.

But your attention is promptly ripped away when he curls his fingers just right, catching on a patch of spongy flesh that has you writhing underneath him. Joshua smirks at that, uncoiling his thick digits as he continues slowly pumping them inside. Your juices are starting to drip on his hand – a testament to just how badly you want him.

When he makes you come, all you see are the vibrant brown of his eyes – like honey in the spring. Joshua looks at you with so much love and longing at the same time, you nearly sob in his embrace.

Despite the implication that he’s no longer going to be patient, Joshua lets you reel your own consciousness back from the throes of pleasure – kissing your forehead tenderly as he caresses your sides.

“Do you want to go all the way?” he asks, but you already see him stroking his own cock from where he lays beside you. “Remember, I won’t force you into anything you don’t like, princess.”

You shake your head, still lightheaded from your orgasm. But still, the clarity of your desire shines through. “I…want you, Shua. Want you inside me.”

He sighs in a way like he just doesn’t know what to do with you. At your request, Joshua reluctantly peels himself away – earning a mewl in protest from you that he appeases with a kiss.

“Stay put, pretty girl,” he murmurs. “I’ll make you feel good in a minute.”

Joshua climbs out of bed and walks over to the dresser buck naked. But you can’t even bring yourself to tease because he’s got such a shapely ass. Not to mention, you get to see the dragon tattoo on his back again. Even if you’ve developed a fondness for the twin koi fish on his chest, there’s just something about this piece in particular that’s always left an impression on you.

True to his word, Joshua comes back to bed with you as he tears a condom open with his teeth. You have half the mind to tell him that opening it like that isn’t very safe, but when he rolls the rubber on top of his throbbing length, you’re suddenly too bashful to speak up.

He spreads your thighs apart, making himself at home in the space in between. You just know he’s getting a kick out of the way your body trembles as he rubs the head of his cock along your glistening seam.

“Shua,” you whine.

“You want this inside you?” Joshua teases, dipping himself into your entrance only to pull away before you can even feel an ounce of satisfaction. “C’mon, talk to me, princess. You know I like it when you’re being honest about the things you want.”

“Please…”

“Hm? What was that?”

You hate him. You hate him so much that the feeling gradually bleeds into love. And if you aren’t already whipped for this jerk, you don’t know what this obsessive feeling inside you is anymore.

“Please fuck me,” you whimper. “Make me come on your cock.”

Joshua breathes sharply through his nose as he leans forward, grabbing both of your wrists as he pins them above your head with one hand. He uses the other to guide his length to where you want him most, and the moment before he finally, finally breaches your entrance, he whispers:

“What the princess wants, the princess gets.”

He muffles the broken moan that catches in your throat with his own lips – his lean arm going around your waist as he presses his hips flush against yours. You’re dripping enough arousal onto the sheets that Joshua doesn’t even have to take it as slow as he expected. You instinctively clench around the hard length inside you, memorizing the way he stretches out your walls, and Joshua responds in earnest with an impertinent groan.

There’s no room for words anymore. All you know is the sound of skin against skin and your mouth almost never parting from his. Joshua fills you until the void you feared might swallow you whole becomes nothing but a tiny speck in your soul. You wonder if it’s enough to be two separate people, and not just one. His touches, his kisses – they aren’t enough. And even when he pushes himself so impossibly deep, you still find yourself wanting, craving, yearning for more.

You’re insatiable. You love Joshua so much that your heart overflows with it. Maybe you’re simply deluded because he’s the first person who’s treated you like you were important; and not just some forgettable girl he met at a bar. But that doesn’t change the fact that you want him to hold you, and touch you, and love you until you forget everything else but the syllables of his name.

He practically folds you into the bed a few moments later as he mouths his professions of love along the curve of your neck. You lock your legs around his waist to keep him as close as possible – not wanting to be apart for even a millisecond. And Joshua seems to share the same sentiments as he embraces so you’d never leave his grasp.

I need you, you wish to tell him. He’s already giving you so much and more, but you still need him. It’s the kind of hankering that nearly scares you because how can you ever live without him now? But the flames of your own, all-consuming desire quickly recede once he captures your lips in a soft, almost sensual kiss.

“I love you,” Joshua tells you aloud.

You know it should be impossible because your lovers from the past have never even tried to get you to orgasm once they were done with you. But the moment he utters those words, and shifts his hips at such a delicious angle, he promptly pushes you over the edge – making you thrash and shudder underneath his weight as you mutter his name like a string of prayers.

You just hope that the gods are generous enough to let you have him forever.

…

The beaches in Seoul and Andong pale in comparison to Jeju's – you promptly realize this when Joshua brings you out to the shore a few days later.

“I’ve never really enjoyed going to beaches until now,” you admit, laughing a bit as Joshua reaches for your hand and twines his fingers with yours. “I’m surprised you even have the time to come all the way here despite being on the job.”

He shrugs casually, and at the same time you care to admire how he looks in a tropical-printed button up that’s completely undone at the front. “Well, my deadline isn’t all that strict, pretty girl. I’m sure I can afford a quick getaway with you.”

You smile at him sweetly while the both of you stroll along the beachfront. Sometimes, the waves reach out to the shore far enough for the water to reach your toes, and you squeal in delight every time you do. You’d be lying if you say you didn’t expect Joshua to tease, but when you look at him, he merely looks back like you’re the most precious thing in the world.

Like all lovers spending their morning on the beach, the two of you agreed to collect the prettiest seashells you can find. Though it was a bit hard, since there are a couple of signs indicating which ones you’re allowed to bring home, and which ones you should leave alone. Something about maintaining the ecosystem around the shore.

But about half an hour before lunch time, Joshua calls out to you at the edge of the property.

The sundress he made you wear today flutters around your thighs as you make your way to his side. He’s crouched down on the sand as he picks up a peculiar brown shard.

“Wait,” you start, taking a closer look. “Is that a seashell? A broken seashell?”

“Seems like it,” he replies, retrieving the other pieces he can still salvage from the sand. “This doesn’t look like all the others we’ve seen though”

Joshua takes your hand and pressing the fragments into your palm. When you take a look at them, you realize the pieces are the same color as his eyes.

“Do you…” you begin shyly, “want to make matching necklaces out of them? They’re a bit jagged now, but I know a jeweler back in Andong who –”

“Oh? So you do want to go back,” he jokes.

“Fine, never mind then.”

Joshua’s laughter is slightly muted by the oncoming waves. Once your momentary annoyance fades, the two of you sit on the sand with your legs sprawled – letting the water tickle your toes.

“I know I made a pretty bad joke just now, but can I ask you something?” he wonders.

“What is it?”

“It’s about the loan your dad supposedly took without your knowledge.” Joshua starts tracing idle shapes in the sand as he speaks. “You seemed in deep shit the night I met you, and I just wanted to know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

With his money and influence, you’re sure that Joshua could pull a few strings to get those debt collectors to lay off you. But it won’t really matter if you never go back to Andong, right? Still, you tell him about the five million won that your father suddenly loaned. How those loan sharks told you that he said that you’re going to pay for it all – on top of your remaining balance for the month. Just recalling it was already enough to piss you off all over again.

At the end of your story, though, Joshua ends up snorting with amusement.

“Sounds to me like you’re being tricked, princess,” he chuckles. “No one can rack up a debt that high unless you’re a trusted confidant. I’m sure the Korean mafia has limits to how much they’re willing to loan other people at a certain given time. Those loan sharks probably tricked you and forged the document because you were paying out the previous debt properly.”

Your jaw practically drops to the ground. “They tricked me?”

“Seems like it. And now, you have grounds for a lawsuit! Maybe. I’m not sure, but I can help you pay for a lawyer if it all gets down to it.” Joshua shrugs. “Anyway, now that you know that the loan was probably a scam, why don’t you go back and talk to your old man? Isn’t he the only family you have?”

Your dad… Well, now you feel a bit bad for judging him so harshly. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s an alcoholic and a gambler, but you do see him trying to be better from time to time.

“Yeah. My mom died when I was in high school, and it’s just been us ever since.” You tell him all this without meeting his eyes, unsure of how to react if he gazes at you with pity. But Joshua doesn’t offer his condolences, nor does he try to cheer you up. Instead, he suggests something that you probably should do.

“You should go back to your father,” he whispers. “I’m sure he’s worried sick.”

The waves wash upon the shore again, and this time, you actually turn around to look at him. Is he serious? Is this the same, so-called territorial man you met two weeks ago? If any of the things he’s told you were true, that’s the last thing you expected for Joshua to say to your face.

“If your father isn’t behind that loan fiasco, then you should at least let him know you’re okay, princess,” he tells you sincerely, rubbing your hand with comforting circles. “You’re the last family he has left, and I’m sure you know what loss does to a person.”

You sit there in the silence, letting Joshua’s words simmer inside your mind. You suppose that he’s right about everything. Those assumptions you made about your father are unfair, and you shouldn’t just abandon him now that Joshua helped clear up the misunderstanding. You know all these things, and you recognize them as what’s truthful and right.

But…why does Joshua sound like he’s saying goodbye?

“Okay, I’ll do that,” you say, forcing your voice not to tremble. “But once you finish your mission, promise that you’ll take me to L.A.?”

He stares at you with equal parts surprise and disbelief – his handsome face twisting with a grin so lovely, you wonder why he never smiled at you like this before. Joshua shakes his head before rising back to his feet, hoisting you up by your waist as he spins you around.

You shriek in bewilderment, telling him to put you back down. He doesn’t relent right away, but once Joshua finally heeds your desperate request he sets you down on the sand – placing a chaste kiss on your forehead.

“Alright, princess. What do you want to do there?”

You puff out your cheeks, not liking how it sounds as if he’s teasing you. Nonetheless, you give him the straightest answer you can manage.

“I want to meet your family. Your parents. Your friends. Everyone,” you tell him. “I want to go fishing because you love it so much, and it helps you meditate.”

Joshua hums. “America is leagues different from Korea, though. You sure about that?”

“Hmph. You’ll make a nice tour guide, won't you?”

“Heh.” He moves closer to wrap his arms around your frame, embracing you so firmly that you can’t help but melt into his touch. “Of course I will, pretty girl. But what do you want to do after we do all that?”

You flash him a puzzled look. “What?”

“Since we’re planning so far ahead, we might as well plan until the end, right?” He chuckles, one hand going to the side of your face as he touches you tenderly. “What else does my demanding princess wish for?”

For a moment, you consider his question seriously. What happens after? Well…

“I want to travel,” you say. “I took up an international relations course when I was in college ‘cause I always wanted to see the world.”

Joshua nods. “And?”

You gulp – unsure if what you’re about to say is a bit selfish or not. “Well, getting to see some places around Korea with you was the best time of my life. And I’m sure it’ll be just as fun if we see the world together.”

It sounds like such a juvenile dream, now that you think about it. But sometimes, even the most childish desires can lead to the most unforgettable experiences. You only decided to tag along with Joshua on a whim, and it turned out to be one of the best choices you’ve ever made.

You just hope he feels the same way, too.

He nods again, a pesky smile rooting itself on his face. When Joshua kisses the hand that isn’t clutching shards of broken brown seashells, you can’t help but blush.

“What the princess wants, the princess gets.”

It’s already high noon by the time the two of you conclude your seashell hunting session, and Joshua is already complaining about breakfast not being heavy enough. You let your gaze linger around the beautiful beachfront just a bit longer, wondering if you can visit this place again with him in the future.

“Joshua?”

He pauses mid-way in his rant, gazing at you with curious, brown eyes. “Yeah?”

You crack him a warm smile. “Can you tell me your real name?”

The ocean’s waves reach your ears again in the silence, as Joshua stands in front of you like you’d just unraveled all the secrets of the universe. You don’t miss the way his emotions seemingly conflict in his eyes, but in the end, he spares you the truth anyway.

“Jisoo.”

“Do you love me, Jisoo?”

He crosses the distance between you before you can even breathe, kissing you so deeply that you’re a little concerned that some of the hotel staff might be watching and judging you on the sidelines. But you know better than to give a damn about what others think when you’re with Joshua – no, Jisoo.

When he pulls away, you can almost see the ocean glimmering in your lover’s eyes.

“More than anything in the world.”

...

Despite that romantic morning, you can’t help but feel like something bad’s about to happen. Your mother used to tell you that you should always trust your gut. And right now, your gut is telling you that everything that’s making you unbelievably happy right now is going to disappear right before your eyes.

The anxiousness that comes with all that foreboding does little to help you keep up appearances, too. During dinner, Joshua – because he asked you to keep calling him that in public for your own safety – was telling you about the time he almost got run over as a kid, and you completely spaced out in the middle of it.

Of course, your sharp-eyed lover is keen enough to notice just how distracted you were. You attempted to make excuses for your lack of focus, but one thing led to another, and you ended up spilling wine all over your new sundress.

And now here you are, sulking in your bedroom as Joshua makes the arrangements to have your dress dry-cleaned on the intercom before you have to leave.

“Is something wrong?”

His voice comes out so softly, you nearly miss it. He sits with you at the edge of the bed, reaching out to clasp your hand in his much larger ones. The gesture is comforting, but your unease doesn’t fade away.

Should you tell him about this weird gut feeling? But you don’t want him to worry about you when this is probably just something trivial. Yet, you’ve always been weak to your own emotions. Before you can even cook up another half-baked excuse, the tears have already started streaming down your face.

“Everything’s going so well,” you sniffle, turning to him with misty eyes. “Y-You’re right in front of me but… Why do I feel like you’re already slipping away?”

Joshua's face doesn’t betray any sort of emotion. His honeyed eyes merely flicker down to where your hands are intertwined, and you don’t know if you should take that as a good sign or not.

“I’ll always be with you, you know,” he whispers, letting one of his hands trail up to the new necklace sitting on your throat before the other moves to wipe away your tears. “Always.”

A traveling jeweler offered to fashion a necklace out of the seashell fragments you found once you got back from the beachfront. And while this isn’t the work of your acquaintance from Andong, they managed to carve out the shell to resemble a heart. They even charged you for the labor only, and gave the chain for free. At first, you wanted to refuse, but these pesky feelings were already bothering you at the beach.

Is it so bad for you to want a tangible representation of Joshua’s promises?

The fact that he wears a similar necklace eases your troubles a bit. It makes you think that maybe it’s really all just in your head. Though you know better than to think you’re out of the woods.

That night, he undresses you with unspoken apologies imbued in each kiss. You wonder if he’s sorry for unintentionally making you feel this way or something else. You don’t know. You don’t care. Because when you’re on the verge of collapsing from all these unpleasant feelings, it’s Joshua who holds you together before you can shatter into a thousand pieces at his feet.

That’s right… Joshua – rather, Jisoo always fills you to the brim. He fills you with so much love that you can almost forget what it feels to be void; what it feels to be empty.

But in the midst of it, he pulls away with a regretful sigh. “We already used up the condoms I have, princess. This is as far as we can go.”

“It’s – It’s alright.”

He snaps his head in your direction, beautiful brown eyes rigid with shock. But you don’t give him any leeway to feel guilt nor hesitation. When you pull him down with you to the bed, he doesn’t strain against your touch.

Jisoo is the reason why the life you thought was so dull suddenly has more color to it now. He taught you to have a little more hope for the future. To reevaluate the past for what it actually is. And most of all, he’s the one who taught you how to treasure yourself as you are in the present.

If this is the last night you’ll ever share with him, then you’re going to make the most out of it.

...

“So we hop on a plane to Incheon, a train to Andong, and talk to my dad.” You list down the day’s itinerary before glancing at Joshua for confirmation. “Sounds like a plan, right?”

“I dunno, princess. Meeting the parents always makes me nervous,” he chuckles.

“...So you have met the parents of other girls.”

“Hey, that was only one time!”

You and Joshua managed to head over to the airport fairly quickly the next day – with a lot of time to kill before your plane actually leaves the island. The two of you decide to hang out in the waiting lounge, but this reminds you to not be too early for your flights next time. Apart from those weird negative feelings you had last night, boredom is your greatest enemy.

About thirty minutes before boarding time, you carelessly let slip that you’re craving some coffee right now. Joshua is quick to get on his feet and get you one from a nearby vending machine, of course. But just when he’s about to take a seat right beside you, he blurts out:

“I’m really glad I met you, princess.” He smiles, handing you your drink. “Even if you’re growing more and more bratty as the days go by.”

“You’re the one who made me like this, so deal with it.” You huff, before following it up with a much nicer: “But…I’m glad I met you, too, Jisoo.”

You half-expect him to clamp a hand around your mouth for calling him by his real name, but Joshua simply lets his head rest against your shoulder, holding your hand as tenderly as he always does.

“Hey, I’m just going to go out for a real quick smoke.”

Joshua informs you of his unnecessary need for a cancer stick just when you’ve settled into your seat on the plane. You scowl at him as he places that knapsack full of cash into your arms.

“We’re about to take off, you idiot!” you whisper. “Can’t that wait until we land in Seoul?”

“Nope.” He beams at you. “I won’t be long, don’t worry~”

And then he’s off.

“Goddamn chainsmokers,” you mutter, angrily plopping the damn backpack to the vacant seat right next to you.

As you watch the scenery in the airport unfold from the window to your left, you catch sight of your own reflection despite the bright light outside. Your hands trail up to the modified seashell around your neck, twirling it fondly between your fingers. This is the first solid proof of the time you spent with Joshua. You’re sure that he’s going to spoil you with even more gifts when you get to L.A., but this one is probably going to be your favorite for a long, long time.

After all, this seashell is the same color as his eyes.

Suddenly, you hear a clicking sound coming from above, and when you glance around, you see that the seatbelt sign is lit up. A soft voice flits through the speakers, informing all passengers that the aircraft is ready for takeoff. Frowning deeply, you call the attention of a nearby attendant.

“Excuse me, my boyfriend isn’t here yet.”

She stares at you, puzzled. “I’m sorry, miss. But we confirmed that all paid passengers are already in their seats.”

At that second, your world crumbles. The void begins to rip itself back into your heart. The attendant asks if there’s anything wrong, but you dismiss her with a shake of your head.

Why do I feel like you’re slipping away from my fingers?

As you sit all alone in that plane, you realize that your mother was right all along.

You should’ve trusted your goddamn gut.

...

Joshua smokes through half his pack of cigarettes when he makes it outside the airport – lingering by the parking lot as he watches each plane soar into the sky. He has no idea which one you’re on, or if you’re even still here on Jeju Island. But with each painful drag he forces into his lungs, he finds himself praying.

Praying that you’ll forgive him for what he just did. Praying that you’ll be able to find happiness even without him.

His phone rings before his guilt gets the better of his emotions. The name S.Coups flashes on the encrypted caller ID.

“Took you long enough to pick up,” the informant sighs. “For someone who’s in dire need of intelligence, you’re acting awfully lax, Shua. Let’s see… You’re looking for Jeonghan. Is that right?”

He kills his last cigarette under his heel – all those feelings you effortlessly stirred up inside him dying along with the waning flame.

“Bullseye,” he replies, voice tinged with his usual mirth despite feeling like he’s just lost everything good in his life. “You got anything for me?”

Yeah, that’s right.

You don’t need someone like him to be happy.

…

The hotel room you booked for the night is small and quiet.

When you shut the door behind you, the sound rings in your ears – loud enough to emphasize that you’re all alone. You decide not to pay it any mind before dragging the rest of your luggage further inside.

When you arrived at Incheon Airport a few hours earlier, you couldn’t even muster up the tears. All you felt was that familiar emptiness that never seemed to leave you alone until Joshua came into your life. A dreadful void that was twice as massive now that you got a taste of how it feels like to be whole.

Once you’ve claimed your baggage, you wasted no time ushering yourself out of the terminal. You’ve long decided to stay in Incheon for a while, given that you couldn’t exactly meet your father in such a state. But before making your way to the nearest hotel you could find, you made it a point to stop by a convenience store to buy a lighter and pack of cigarettes.

For someone who’s more loaded than you could ever hope to be, Joshua liked smoking cheap brands. He told you it’s because those things could easily be bought anywhere. But his reasons for the odd preference were the last thing on your mind as you light up the first stick – taking a long drag that ends up making you cough out smoke and brings tears in your eyes.

You fucking hate cigarettes. This is going to be one of the cold hard truths in your life. You hated them when you still worked as a hostess, and you hated them every time Joshua had the gall to smoke one in front of you.

…But this is the only piece of him that you have left to cling to. You like to think that each stick can help fill the void, even if it’s just smoke and ashes and false hopes. You always wondered why Joshua couldn’t bring himself to forego the habit. But maybe – just maybe – there’s also a void inside him. One that can’t easily be filled, the same one you’ve always struggled with.

Before that train of thought can fester any longer, you kill it along with the fifth cancer stick you’ve had for the day. The ashtray is full of cigarettes you could barely smoke past the filter, but you’re not about to give a shit.

In the solitude of your room, you wonder if you can ever forget those sunsets in Jeju. How your toes sank into the sand. How the salty ocean breeze tossed your hair around. If you close your eyes, you can still feel it on your skin.

But most of all, you ask yourself – can you ever forget Jisoo?

His eyes. His hair. His stupid tattoos. You abhorred how he always smelled like cigarettes, yet you’ve locked yourself up in some fancy hotel room to smoke a few just because you’re left with a ridiculous amount of laundered cash. Along with the bags full of those pretentious gifts he gave you, you selfishly kept the money because you deserve the goddamn means to take a real break from it all.

You don’t pay attention to the rest of your luggage – eyes solely focused on the knapsack lying idly on the mattress. Against your better judgment, you force yourself back to your feet, padding towards the bed as you open the zipper.

Cash, cash, another wad of cash. You scoop every single piece out of the bag for no real reason. Is this solving any of your problems? No. Does it help you vent out your feelings? Yes.

Stupid Jisoo, and his stupid fucking promises. Well, he never explicitly promised you anything, but still! What kind of evil maniac lets a hapless maiden fall in love with them, only to leave them hanging? Not all unfortunate ladies who’ve been pathetically led on by a handsome man were left with hundreds of thousands of won as some sort of compensation, sure. But that didn’t change the fact that you were fucking grieving.

You wanted to shout. To break something. To curse Jisoo Whatever-his-last-name-is so he can never find another woman like you. But once you reach the bottom of the knapsack, your anger is quick to go up in smoke.

There’s a red baseball cap inside – the same one Jisoo was wearing the night you met him.

You didn’t cry when you realized the love of your life had left you without saying goodbye. You didn’t cry as you carried your luggage alone in the airport. You didn’t cry either when you marched into this lonely, lonely hotel room.

But somehow, seeing that bright red cap made everything crash over you like a tidal wave.

“I thought you loved me more than anything in the world,” you murmur to yourself, holding that silly hat to your chest like a goddamn lifeline.

“Was that a hoax all along...Jisoo?”

...

The small village near Silverwood Lake is remote yet accessible at the same time. It’s the heart of tourism in the lesser known counties in California, so it comes as no surprise to see a dozen people bustling in and out of the borders.

In that same town, a young boy with big brown eyes wanders around the market – dark tufts peeking from beneath a tattered baseball cap. Though he seems like any other local his age, he doesn't actually know the language. His English is still a bit lacking, but he swears half of the time that his mother teaches him bits and pieces when she has time.

Right now, she’s somewhere by the lakeside, talking with an important political figure in the town as his entourage shows her around the area. The boy wasn’t a fan of all those pleasantries, so he asked her if he could look around in the market instead. Like all mothers, her initial reaction was to tell him no, but eventually, the puppy eyes he’s practiced on her for years made good on their purpose.

Fine. Just don’t wander too far, Shuji. Promise?

As much as he dislikes breaking promises with his mother – he knows how sensitive she is about those, despite her age – the young boy figures that what she doesn’t know won’t kill her. He’s fifteen now. Even if he’s in a foreign country, he’s smart enough not to get lost in unfamiliar places.

So, when he finds nothing interesting in the market, the boy follows a merchant’s route that bypasses a huge forest. This is the road that he and his mother took on the way to the town, so he’s slightly familiar with the terrain. But still, the perspectives are warped when one traverses it on foot.

He follows the route just like he initially planned – admiring the looming pine trees rising everywhere he looked. His mother has taken him to all sorts of places because of her job, but America might make it to the top of his list at this rate. Though, his eyes are quick to spot a fork in the road – one barely visible unless you know what you’re looking for.

The boy glances around, but no one else is in sight.

Ravens caw overhead as he traverses the stray path. Dead leaves and crunch underfoot as the trees seem to grow thicker around him. Anyone else would feel terrified of being in such a place, but the boy has always had a knack for braving the unknown.

His courage is rewarded once he arrives at the end of the road, revealing a magnificent lake that he could never hope to see if he’d stuck to the main route. This one's different from Silverwood Lake. It's much smaller, and less polluted by civilization.

He stares at the scenery with wide eyes, taking out his phone from the pocket of his jacket before snapping a few pictures to show his mother for later.

“Hey, kid. What are you doing here?”

The boy startles at the sound of another voice, and he realizes that there’s another person sharing this view with him. A man, much older than he is, sits on a foldable chair by the edge of the lake – fishing rod in hand as he tosses the reel into the water.

“Just…looking around.” He only replies with broken English because he doesn’t think the stranger is someone sketchy. The boy even notices the sturdy looking crutch propped against his seat. “What are you doing?”

For a moment, the man simply looks at him before surprising the boy with very fluent Korean.

“Fishing. What else do you think it looks like, kid?” the man says a-matter-of-factly as he rakes his fingers through his dark yet graying hair.

He gulps before switching to his mother tongue. “There’s fish underneath?”

“Of course there's fish underneath.” The fisherman rolls his eyes. “You’re not from around here, are you? You lost?”

The boy shakes his head. “I told you, I was just looking around.”

“Okay. Tell your parents to come get you then,” the man tells him – growing slightly annoyed at his peaceful fishing session having been interrupted.

“My mother’s busy. My father’s a scumbag who left her alone.” The young boy shrugs. “I’m pretty much free to do whatever I want, mister.”

A few moments pass by in silence, and he wonders if he said something strange. But either way, the man’s irritation morphs into amusement. “Shitty dad, huh?” he chuckles. “That’s right. Don’t ever forgive the people who’d hurt your mom. What’s your name, kid?”

The stranger jolts his fishing rod before the boy can give an answer, hauling a fish out of the water right before his eyes before dumping his latest catch in a wicker basket.

“Jisoo,” the boy tells him. “But my mom calls me Shuji”

To his surprise, the man simply nods. “Cool name.”

“Aren’t you going to say it’s weird or something?”

“Now you’re just asking too many questions.”

“My mom said it’s common courtesy to exchange names on the first meeting,” the boy huffs. “So are you going to tell me or not?”

The man sighs. “You’re really demanding for a kid. Kinda reminds me of someone I used to know.”

“...I’m leaving.”

“Ah! Wait a sec, lemme just pack up and I’ll head back to the harbor with you. If you wander around, you might just get mauled by the wolves,” the man tuts, already putting away his reel before folding his chair back up. That’s when the boy notices a glint of brown attached to a cord around his neck. He squints.

Has he seen that necklace before?

But there isn’t exactly much room to ponder about that. The man is struggling to tidy up on both feet – clearly unfit to protect anyone from woodland predators. The boy wonders if he’s injured himself so badly before that the aftermath still lingers. But still, he finds it a bit awkward to just stand around, so he walks over to him with a defeated sigh, offering to carry the fish basket and chair in his stead.

“What happened to your leg?” he wonders.

The man brushes the hair out of his face, looking forward as he leans on his crutch. “Got fucked up by a bunch of…gangsters a few years back. Haven’t been the same since.”

“...My mom knows a lot of doctors all over the world,” the boy says. “I’m sure she can find someone who can help you walk normally again.”

“Hm? Aren’t you being too generous to someone you just met, kid?”

He frowns. “I was taught by mom to treat everyone with basic decency.”

“Heh. You really love your mom, don’t you? Does she travel a lot?”

“For work, yeah. She’s a diplomat.”

The boy wonders if this is really okay. His mother might just be mortified at the thought of her only son talking to a stranger like they’ve known each other for years. But there’s just something about this man that he can’t quite pin down. Something that makes it easy to talk to him, even if they only met literally ten minutes earlier.

Well, his mother was looking for fresh catches to have for dinner anyways. Maybe she’ll let his penchant for making friends in unlikely places slide once he introduces her to this strange fisherman with fucked up legs.

⟢ end notes: if you made it this far, congrats UEYRUEF I KNOWWWW i have a shit ton of wips waiting in line, but i've been contemplating abt repurposing this fic for joshua for SOOOOO LONG. after hearing some advice from a few friends, i decided to just go for it and viola! 18k words shua angst was born out of nowhere. i felt so EMPTY the first time i finished writing it, so i hope you feel the same way too :3c

#svthub #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #svt fanfic #svt smut #joshua smut #seventeen joshua #seventeen x reader #joshua x reader #lovelyhan #🐇 500 #full length fic 📚

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salty-autistic-writer · 6 months ago

Text

Snippet in which Tommy wakes up with his head on Evan's chest.

Warm.

Eyes closed, Tommy still vacillates between sleep and awareness but he does notice that he’s warm. He’s always hated being cold so waking up like this is nice. The sensation doesn’t stem from the sunbeams falling through the windows and brightening up the room though. No, he’s basking in the warmth of another body. His boyfriend’s body.

His boyfriend. Who is in bed with him, running his fingers through Tommy’s hair in a gentle steady rhythm. It feels so good, it gives Tommy tingles and a part of him wants to lean into the caress like an oversized touch-starved cat.

For a hazy confused moment, he doesn’t even want to open his eyes at all. What if this is just the remnant of a dream? Wishful thinking? Is his imagination playing tricks on his mind?

But with sleep fading, Tommy starts to feel more. Vague blurry sensations form into something concrete. Something real.

Evan’s warmth and familiar scent are all around him. Tommy can hear the vibrating echo of his steady heartbeat and realizes he has his head on Evan’s chest. That’s definitely a new way of waking up. He opens his eyes and blinks into the bright light of the late morning sun. Right. It’s a free weekend. No alarm clock. No work. No calls. Just them.

Evan is laying on his back, head propped up against a pillow, staring at something on his phone while he continues to play with Tommy’s hair. His own curls are tousled and his mouth is slightly open, his eyes having that laser-focused expression that they always get when Evan discovers something captivating.

“What are you looking at?” Tommy mutters and clears his throat, voice still a little hoarse from sleep.

“Hey, morning to you,” Evan says, smiling down at him. “I was trying to find the best hill for what we planned for tomorrow.”

Right. The hike. A hike with a picnic. Tommy's heart jumps through another enthusiastic loop.

“I want a nice hill,” Evan explains seriously. “With a nice view. And I still have to make a list of what we have to bring. Sunscreen, mosquito spray, bandaids and bandages just in case, hiking socks … Wait. Do you even have proper hiking socks? They prevent your feet from getting sweaty and developing blisters.”

“Yeah, I do have proper hiking socks,” Tommy says, mildly amused. He loves it when Evan goes into full organizing mode.

Tommy raises his head a little, blinking at the dark wet spot he left on Evan’s shirt. “I drooled on your chest,” he states, a bit embarrassed.

Evan chuckles. “Yeah, you woke up like an hour ago, muttered something about too cold, then snuggled up against me, pressed your cold toes into my legs and put your head on my chest. After that, you went back to sleep and started to snore. It was cute.”

Tommy’s breath hitches.

Cute.

Huh.

Evan just called him cute. No one called him cute before. Tommy doesn’t know what to say. Or how to breathe. He’s drowning in the fuzzy sensation of being in love. God. He really got it bad. This man stumbled into his life and into his helicopter out of nowhere and managed to steal Tommy’s whole damn damaged heart in the process.

“Babe. Are you okay?” Evan asks, still smiling, but his brows creasing into a subtle frown.

Tommy’s breath starts to run away from him.

Babe. Cute. Are you okay. Waking up on Evan’s chest. Evan’s fingers playing with his hair. Evan watching him sleep.

It’s so much. It’s too much. It’s too good. Good things don’t last. People leave. They leave and all that stays is the cold. Tommy can’t breathe. It’s almost as if the air got sucked out of the room.

He starts to feel lightheaded and lost. A boat on the ocean, thrown around by invisible forces. But then, Evan is there, wrapping his arms around Tommy and whispering, “Breathe. You got to breathe, babe.”

Tommy tries. He inhales shakily, listens to Evan’s breaths and tries to match them. It works. He can breathe again and the dizziness fades. But now he’s embarrassed … Why can’t he spend a morning in bed with his boyfriend without having some kind of panic attack about stupid abandonment issues?

Evan puts his hand on Tommy’s chest, feeling for his heart. “You want to tell me what this was about?”

Tommy sighs. “I was just a little overwhelmed. This is … It’s nice. I like it. It makes me happy. But my stupid mind starts to overthink and I end up being scared I will lose this. You.”

Because you could disappear in so many different ways … A fight. A breakup. An accident. A call gone bad. An illness. Something we can't fight. Something we can’t defeat.

“I have those overthink-moments too,” Evan says quietly. “We’ve been through a lot of loss. Guess our minds are so used to losing people and things, that they hesitate to trust this. I can’t promise you that nothing will ever happen to any of us. But I promise you I will always try my best to come back here. Come back to you. And since we are not able to know the future, maybe we can focus on the moment. Because this morning is a moment I really love.”

“I love it too,” Tommy says, turning to face Evan, and meeting his beautiful eyes. He can see himself inside them. Maybe he can allow himself to be like Evan sees him. He definitely can ask for something he wants. “Can we stay in bed a little longer?”

“Oh, don't worry, I’m not getting up any time soon,” Evan says with a chuckle. “I sent you like 30 Instagram Reels while you were snoring and drooling on my chest. You want to watch them now?”

Tommy smiles. “Yeah, sure.”

He puts his head back on Evan’s chest and they watch the Reels, laughing together. Later, they shower together, have breakfast together, and go to buy a picnic blanket together. When they look around in the shop, Evan takes Tommy's hand and it's such a subtle yet heart-rate-elevating thing. An anchor. It soothes Tommy's stormy mind and makes it trust the happiness a little more. Piece by piece. Step by step.

They do find and buy their own picnic blanket. It makes them ridiculously happy.

A moment saved in their memories.

#bucktommy #tevan #tommy kinard #evan buckley #bucktommy fanfic #tevan fanfic

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captainmalewriter · 2 years ago

Text

Man of her Dreams

Emma had been having strange dreams lately. At first they started as vague feelings that she would forget in the morning. But Emma could tell that they were wet dreams, as she would always wake up horny after having one. She would simply masturabate then go back to bed like normal.

But as the nights went on, her dreams became stronger and stronger until Emma couldn't tell reality from dreams anymore. It was only then that Emma realized there was someone else present in her dreams too. There was a man who had been there since the wet dreams began. Once Emma could interact with him in her dreams, they were free to fuck like wild freaks. She would submit herself to him as he claimed her territory over her body. He was dominant, and she loved him.

But no matter how much they fucked, it was always just a dream. By the time the morning sun came, Emma woke up horny and sexually frustrated, realizing it was all just a dream. But that didn't stop Emma from looking forward to seeing the man of her dreams again the next night.

Then, one night before they could fuck in her dream again, the man stopped mid-makeout and grabbed Emma.

He held her close, and whispered into her ear:

My love, I'm so tired of meeting you like this. I want to touch you, with a real body! You need to bring me to life. Listen closely...

Emma listened closely as the man told her how to bring him to life. She would need to brew a magical potion, then she would need to trick someone into drinking it. Only then could the man come to life outside of her dreams.

The man also had one other naughty request, and Emma smiled as she thought about it. She laid in her bed, motivated and ready to execute the plan. And as she scrolled through her social media feeds that morning, she found the perfect target to use the potion on. Stacy Williams, a nobody from her old high school. Someone that nobody would notice if she miraculously disappeared.

With that thought in mind, Emma kicked the plan into phase one and called her old high school friend to invite her to "catch up again after so many years."

***

...Stacy had gotten a phone call from an unknown number one random day in February. She was working a double shift when the call came in, so she wasn't able to answer. The caller had left a voicemail, and once Stacy got home from work, she listened to the voice recording.

Hey girlie! You might not remember me, but it's Emma from high school! We used to have PE together. I got your number through MyBook. I know this is totally out of the blue but would you be down to hang out with me, Karla, and Skye? They went to high school with us too! I know you're still in town, just like us, so I figured it might be fun to meet up for a casual lunch or something. Just call me back and let me know, ok? Bye!

Stacy wasn't sure what to make of the voicemail. She vaguely remembered Emma's voice, though quite frankly, she wouldn't have remembered any of them if it weren't for her yearbook. Stacy didn't really have an opinion of them. She might worked with some of them for a class project once or twice, but beyond that, Stacy didn't know them.

Stacy continued about her day while she thought about Emma's offer to meet up. The whole proposal just seemed awfully weird to her. But after weighing her options carefully, Stacy realized she wasn't opposed to the idea of catching up on old times with familiar faces. Best case scenario, she'd have a new friend or two she could talk to whenever she was bored. Worst case scenario, she'd get a free lunch and some people to block on MyBook.

In the end, Stacy called back Emma and agreed to meet up. The plan was to meet up at Emma's apartment for brunch. On the day of, Stacy got dressed up in a top and jeans and drove over to Emma's. As she walked up the doorsteps to Emma's apartment, she saw another woman waiting at the front door. Stacy recognized her; her name was Skye and she was wearing a tight dress that complimented her hourglass figure. Suddenly, Stacy felt the need to turn around and leave, but it was too late. Skye heard Stacy walking up, turned to face her, and lit up when she saw her.

"Well if it isn't good ole Stacy Williams, how the fuck are ya!?"

"Um, I'm fine. How are you?"

Stacy held out her hand for a handshake, but Skye went in for a hug instead. It caught Stacy off guard and she reluctantly gave in.

"Aww, aren't you two the sweetest? Already getting along and shit," Emma had opened the door while Skye was still hugging Stacy. "Come on inside, it's too cold to be out right now."

Emma held open the door. Stacy followed Skye inside the quaint apartment. Karla was already inside sitting at the table. She was dressed up as if she was going out to a night club too. Stacy could feel her face get warm as she wondered to herself if she underdressed for the occasion.

All four women took their seat at the table. Emma brought out finger sandwiches and mimosas for everyone. Stacy helped herself to the food while the girls started talking. At first their conversation started with just work gossip, but then they started talking about recent group activities. It forced Stacy into silence as she wasn't able to contribute to the conversation. The more Stacy listened, the more obvious it was that they all already knew each other. They weren't subtle about it either. While Stacy quietly sipped her mimosa, the rest of the women were laughing boisterously, having seemingly forgotten Stacy was even in their presence.

Some time had passed. While Stacy had finished her third mimosa, the rest of the women were still fully engaged in their conversation. After Stacy finished eating one last sandwich, she decided to excuse herself from the brunch. But as soon as Stacy tried to stand up, she felt herself getting light headed. She stumbled, and used the table to catch herself before falling the ground. The girls stopped their conversation to help her.

"Woah woah, are you okay?" Emma asked.

"Yeah... I'm fine... Just a little dizzy..." Stacy answered.

"Let's take her to the couch, give her more space to breathe," Karla commanded. She and Skye then helped Stacy over to the couch. Stacy's limbs felt numb and she struggled to walk, even with their support. But as she was led to the couch, Stacy couldn't help but notice that although everyone had a mimosa to their plate, Stacy was the only one to actually drink the cocktail.

Stacy sunk into the couch's cushions. Emma was opening the windows, Skye was getting water, and Karla was holding Stacy's hand for moral support. Stacy felt herself getting warmer and warmer. She tried looking around her surroundings. The room started spinning, and her vision became blurred. She could hear the other women talking to her, but she couldn't make out what they were saying anymore. Her breathing became quicker too. All of her symptoms grew in intensity until she eventually passed out on the couch.

***

The three women exchanged looks between themselves and the passed out Stacy. After a moment of silence, sinister smiles began to spread across their faces. They all looked at each other knowingly. Then, Skye broke the silence.

"I can't believe we actually just pulled that shit off!" Skye said excitedly.

"You're telling me... I can't believe she didn't notice none of us were actually drinking those things. Now, where's this sex god of a man you promised?" Karla asked impatiently.

"Patience, sis, it'll probably take a minute or two for the magic to kick in after passing out." Emma clarified. She looked over Stacy's body, then her eyes grew wide. "Speak of the devil, here comes the transformation now!"

The three women stepped away from the couch as Stacy's body begin to twitch and spasm. She was tossing and turning on the couch as though she were suffering from a nightmare. Stacy was groaning as her body contorted. There was a creaking noise, then Stacy's body began to stretch and grow. She had drunk three glasses full of spiked orange juice, and the magical effects were kicking in all at once.

Mass was added onto her body, causing her slim, womanly figure to balloon into a more masculine torso. As her muscles grew in size, her clothes became too tight and ripped, leaving her transforming body exposed. Her already shoulder length shortened to a mullet. The barely noticeable stubble she had on her face grew in to a full goatee with a goatee. Soon enough, Stacy had transformed into a burly man.

All of the bodily sensations Stacy went through woke her up from her stupor. She looked down at her new body with a face of confusion. She flexed her new biceps, the newfound muscle swelling up.

The three women cheered as they saw Stacy's transformation as it happened. Emma in particular was overjoyed to see the man of her dreams living and breathing in the flesh right in front of her.

"Well, girls? What did I tell y'all?" Emma was proud of her handiwork. Though her pride was short lived, as Karla tapped her on the shoulder. "Hm? What is it?"

"Look down there." Karla pointed at Stacy's groin. The transformation remained incomplete. Although the rest of Stacy's body turning into a man, she still had her vagina.

"Bro, what the fuck!? I thought you said he was hung like a horse!!" Skye yelled in a shrill voice. Her shriek caught Stacy's attention.

"Who's supposed to be hung!? Who am I!? What did you guys do to me!!" Stacy cried out with her original voice. The women were taken back at the sound of Stacy's voice remaining unchanged.

"That's weird... She's still herself... I guess the magic missed her vagina, voice, and her mind." Emma tapped her foot as she pondered what could've gone wrong with the transformation. She hated that Stacy's mind was still intact despite her body no longer belonging to her. She would have to troubleshoot it herself. Emma then straightened her posture and began to walk towards Stacy.

"Well, nothing a little manual labor can't fix." She walked up to Stacy then pushed her down onto the couch, forcing her to lay down. "Come on, ladies, won't you give me a hand with him?"

Stacy watched as she saw the three women exchange knowing looks with one another. Her nerves grew when Emma used her hands to hold her down by the thighs.

"Hey! What are you-"

Stacy was cut off sentence as Emma began going down on her.

"Nrgh... Wh-what are- Stop! I don't- Like women!!"

Emma ignored Stacy's outbursts and continued giving her oral. But the way Emma pleasured Stacy's pussy wasn't the way someone usually would. Instead, she licked until Stacy's clit grew erect. Then, Emma ignored the rest of the vagina and focused solely on the erect clit. Emma sucked on it as though it were a dick, going up and down on it at a fierce pace.

Stacy felt a pleasure unlike anything she had ever experienced. Stacy wanted Emma to stop, but at the same time, she couldn't deny that she was having the best time of her life. She was getting a blowjob, just like a man would! Soon her clitoris grew as Emma sucked on it. Her vaginal lips disappeared, leaving two hairy balls heavy with cum in their place. The head of the clit grew out into a proper dick head. Emma noticed it took more effort to suck Stacy off as a veiny 7 inch dick formed, but she gladly met the challenge and deep throated it with ease.

Stacy thought that would be the end of it, but then Skye and Karla joined in too. Skye made out with Stacy while Karla sucked on her massive pecs. Stacy's nipples may had shrunk in size, but they were sensitive to the touch. The warm, wet feel of Karla's mouth sent Stacy into a spiral of amazing feelings.

The three women continued pleasuring the new male body like this for a long while. At first, it was just Stacy receiving all the pleasure. But that soon changed the longer they kept at it. Thanks to the body stimulation the three women gave her, Stacy was no longer Stacy for she had fully transformed into Steven- the sex god of Emma's dreams.

"You like that, babe?" Emma asked in between breathes.

"Fuck yeah, baby," Steven answered in a new baritone voice. "The chicks you brought are hot as fuck too, I knew you wouldn't disappoint." Steven bent down and tongue kissed Emma. "Now keep suckin'."

The three women followed Steven's command. Steven pulled Skye in closer and stuck his tongue inside her mouth. With his free hand, he pushed Emma down on his dick and held her there for as long as she could. They were all moaning like crazy, until Steven got up from the couch. The women were confused, but then they pieced together what was going on as Steven positioned Emma to lay down. He got down on his knees, opened her legs, and proceeded to go down on her.

"Oh fuck...!! Yeah just like that! I've been a bad girl... Fuck me harder!!" Emma moaned.

The roles were flipped after the transformation. Now, instead of the three women using Steven for their pleasure, it was Steven using them for his pleasure. He had no problem asserting his new masculine sexuality over the three women.

And they loved every single moment of it! Emma had delivered on the promise she made to Skye and Karla that they'd have the time of their lives if they helped her bring him to life. Steven had them in rotation between one woman getting fucked hard, one woman getting her tits sucked, and one woman getting her pussy fingered by Steven's godly hands. An hour had passed since Steven took over Stacy's mind and body, and they had all been fucking since. Between one dick loaded with cum and three pussies ready to squirt, they were all covered in a massive quantity of bodily fluids. Wet and sticky after getting drenched with a mixture of men's cum and women's cum, they all gazed at each other as they caught their breath after a long, hard fuck. Emma was the first to break the silence this time.

"Who are you?" she asked the man. He smirked before answering.

"Steven fucking Williams, the one and only!" he flexed his guns while answering too.

Skye squealed when she heard his answer while Emma sighed a breathe of relief. Although they needed to step in to finish the job, they had successfully brought a figment of Emma's imagination. Now they had a man who was more than happy to fulfill their greatest sexual desires.

The three women took a picture with their new boy toy to celebrate the occasion. It was truly the start of a beautiful relationship of never ending horniness between Emma and Steven, and along with Skye and Karla whenever they were in need of a few extra holes too.

#female to male tf #female to male #gender change #sexuality change #permanent change #deception #cocky

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thatoneguy56fanfic · 5 months ago

Note

Since I also have a WIP called Girls' Night, tell me about yours!

My Girl’s Night is a short fic about Korra coming back to Republic City after being gone for a while. She invites Team Avatar out for drinks, but Asami’s the only one who’s free to hang out. They go to dinner, have some drinks, gush about the people they’re crushing on. The night ends with them both daring each other to leave voicemails confessing their feelings to their crushes, and then they steal Lin’s car.

Here’s a short snippet:

“And his hair!” Asami continued. “Spirits, Korra, his hair! It’s always so shiny and perfect. I bet it feels fantastic too! I wonder what products he uses?” She paused to drain the last of her drink, burping softly. “Sorry, excuse me. What is it we’re drinking again?”

“Eh, fire whiskey I think,” Korra shrugged. “So you’re really into Iroh?”

“Korra, I want to climb him like a tree,” Asami deadpanned. Korra nearly spat out her drink, bursting into laughter.

“So, tell me about your general problems,” Asami said, hiccuping mid sentence. “Spirits, this stuff is good! I should buy a case of it to take home with us.”

“That sounds like a fantastic idea!” Korra replied enthusiastically. She leaned a little too far to her left and almost fell off her stool. Asami caught her by the arm. “Oops. That was a close one. Wait, what were we talking about?”

“You were going to tell me about-“ Asami paused to burp. Korra burst out laughing, and Asami laughed as well. “Okay, okay.” She said once she settled down. “You were going to tell me about General Eyebrows.”

“Where do I even start?” Korra sighed, gazing down at her drink with a soft smile on her face. “She’s so smart, like scarily smart. Especially about politics and military stuff. Did you know that there was a war over the best land to grow tea? Tea, they were fighting over tea of all things! It sounds silly, but it actually happened.”

“And she’s so hot!” Korra continued, gesturing vaguely with her hands. “Like ridiculously hot. And she doesn’t seem to even try either, she’s just naturally hot.”

“I know what you mean,” Asami said with a dreamy grin.

“Like she’s so hot that she makes the things she does hot,” Korra said. “Cooking? Hot. Reading? Hot. She even makes taking off gloves hot! I didn’t even know that was possible.”

Thanks for the ask!

WIP Ask Game

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octomae · 8 months ago

Note

I wanna see Rider/Gloves/Hachi with "You make me feel things, things I don't know how to describe.". I don't think I've ever seen stuff with Coroikas "agents" (even though Goggles is the actual "Agent 3" in the story)

ohoho yes i will eat this. gloves my adhd king.

i think i could au-ify this... au in which the coroikan agents take the NSS a bit more seriously... :3 for reference, rider is 3.5, gloves is 4, and hachi is 8. (im praying for captain rider in the manga and it is so obvious. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL

cw: mention of burn injury, vagued over

The hero dualies were light in his hands, but Gloves knew firsthand just how powerful they were. He twirled them idly, bored as Rider explained their mission.

He, Rider, and Hachi would be going on an information retrieval mission, focusing in on a rogue group that had been causing trouble in the backstreets of the Square lately.

Because Cap'n Cuttlefish had wanted Rider to be in charge of this mission, Goggles and the other agents were going to be sitting this one out. In fact, Gloves had been noticing the favoritism of Rider from the Cap'n more and more lately. He just wasn't sure what it meant yet.

"... any questions?" Rider asked, grasping the handle of the hero roller where it was slung over his shoulders. Gloves snapped back to reality.

"Uh, yes," he said, smiling sheepishly, and Rider gave him a look. "What are we doing, exactly?"

This time, both Hachi and Rider were staring at him.

"Gloves," Hachi said slowly, lowering the hero blaster in his hands, "did you- were you not-?"

Rider sighed, lifting his free hand to pinch his brow. "No, it's fine," he said, before glancing back up at Gloves. "The short version is, this is a stealth mission. We're not supposed to be seeing any combat, but if we do, Gloves, you'll be playing frontline."

"Wait huh?" Gloves adjusted a dualie to point at himself. "Me? Why me?"

Rider sighed. "You're the fastest of us three and you have dualies," he pointed out. "Again though, this is a stealth mission. We're not supposed to be seeing any combat, but if it all goes to shit, you'll be up front, while Hachi and I cover your back and sides. This is a just in case scenario."

Gloves nodded. That made sense. Hachi nodded as well, and with the confirmation from them both, Rider smiled.

"Alright. Let's sync."

"You're a coddamn idiot," Rider hissed, crossing his arms and glaring down at where Gloves sat.

"It worked, didn't it?" he defended himself, pridefully ignoring the stinging of the ink burns along his arms and legs. Marie had treated them as soon as they had returned to their Octo Canyon base. He'd already gotten the scolding of a lifetime from her, and now he was getting another one from his fellow agent. It hadn't even been five minutes since Marie left.

"You blew up your dualie jets!" Rider countered, gesturing to where Hachi sat off to the side, a tarp covering the ground while he tinkered away at Gloves' weapons. Rider shook his head. "I don't know how you even did that. I didn't even know that was possible."

"But it worked," Gloves insisted, and the look Rider gave him was so thunderous that he almost took it back.

"Okay, look, both of you," Hachi said, looking up from where he was carefully attaching new jets to the hero dualies. "I don't think it really matters. The plan Gloves came up with worked, and we all got out of there. But, on the other fin, Rider's right. Gloves, you had us at your back for a reason. We could have come up with a better plan to get us all out of there safely."

"Yes, exactly, thank you Hachi," Rider said, turning back to glare down at Gloves.

Hachi shook his head, getting up from the tarp. "Yes, it is true that you were an idiot," the octoling said, coming and sitting down next to Gloves.

Gloves sighed. "Thanks Hachi."

"But like you said, your plan did work," the octoling continued, and Gloves stiffened in surprise as Hachi slung an arm over his shoulders and pulled him into a side hug. "Thanks for getting us out of there. Next time, don't be as stupid."

A heat bloomed in his face, dark green ink rising to color his cheeks as Hachi squeezed him into the hug, and then let him go.

Rider simply stared at the two of them. After a moment, he shook his head and sat down on Gloves' other side. "You two make me feel things I don't even know how to describe sometimes," he complained, though Gloves wasn't sure it was really a full complaint.

So he grinned, and dragged Rider into a side hug of his own. "You know you love us," he teased with a bright laugh. Rider stopped struggling to get out of the hug and went limp, accepting his fate.

"Unfortunately," the grouchy inkling muttered.

This time, Hachi's laughter joined in with Gloves.

#agent 96 #coroika #rider coroika #hachi coroika #gloves coroika #SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THEIR SHIPNAME IS SO I CAN TAG THIS CORRECTLY PLS #splatoon manga #mae writing

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flowers-the-sun-witch · 7 months ago

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bmb day 3!

Not featuring anyone else this time, other than some vague descriptions. If you want to think of any of the strangers I talked about here as yourself or someone else, feel free to do so.

Flowers generally doesn't like dancing.

Still, after a little while of aimlessly wandering around the main hall, admiring the decor and watching the other attendees interact amongst themselves, Flowers decides to take a look at the ballroom. There really isn't anything better to do, not until everyone gets tired or hungry or both, and the amount of people in the atrium is rapidly decreasing. Might as well see where they're all going, after all, and a change of scenery might be nice.

It's loud, is the first thing they notice. Dancers chatting and laughing between steps, music playing in the background, heck, even the sound of shoes against the smooth ground, made it all the more difficult to get used to. Flowers stood at the entryway for a minute before continuing into the room. Over to the side, they see one of the other guests trying and failing to dance in time without tripping over anyone or anything. They nearly laugh, but realise that they'd probably end up doing the same thing anyway, so they stop. All humour has left their mind as they see them slink away from the dance floor, obviously embarrassed. They think of moving to comfort them, or at least greet them, but they turn away for half a second and the stranger is gone. Brushing off that issue, Flowers abruptly notices that the song being played has changed, and they take the opportunity to make their way to the floor properly, instead of lurking at the edge of the room awkwardly.

As it turns out, they haven't become any less out of their depth in the time they spent working themself up to actually start. They end up cautiously stepping to the song that has replaced the previous piece, half wishing that they'd gone ahead and asked to be a musician for this event. If that was the case, they wouldn't have to deal with this. In the back of their mind, they do know they don't have to be here, can move to the snack tables or find a friend in the main hall and not have to deal with this madness, but they still feel obliged to try. So, they continue, barely able to keep themself from tripping over their own feet as the song starts to speed up. Spinning around a little and holding the hand of an imaginary partner, they start to gain confidence. Admittedly, their movement is sloppy and stiff, but fight them; they've barely practiced and don't even do this sort of thing normally, leaving it to some of their more graceful friends back home. They falter for a moment. Even if this event makes it more fun than normal— which it is, surprisingly— they'll probably not do this again for a very long time, maybe even ever; at least, not at this scale, not at this big of an event. It's just too tiring.

Speaking of tiring, as soon as the song ends, Flowers makes their way off the dance floor, just to the edge of the ballroom. They might head back after a break, but right now, they really don't want to do that sort of thing, especially not in the outfit they're wearing. As it turns out, long sleeves and boots are not a good combination for spending a long time dancing in, especially when they don't find it enjoyable in the first place. Instead, they started to just observe the many dancers now occupying the room— definitely more than when they had first entered a few minutes ago, that's for sure. Somehow, it's not packed, and Flowers is starting to wonder if the building has some sort of enlargement spell or charm put on it, depending on how many people are there. If there was (which they are really starting to suspect, as somehow more people enter the room), it would be good for the claustrophobic people, at the very least.

They turn their attention to the dancers. A wide range of humanoids, beastfolk and other uncategorised attendees occupy the space, of various sizes and skill levels. As Flowers makes their way along the wall, she avoids stepping on one of the tiniest guests they've seen so far. Over near the other side of the room, a pair clumsily step beside another, gracefully dancing around them. Near the entrance, they think they see someone familiar, and almost call out to them, but realise a moment before that they don't even recall their name, much less know which of the many people they've met over the years that person might be. A little embarrassed, they decide to head back to the atrium, where there is one, less people, and two, they won't feel the need to join in with everyone else.

Flowers doesn't know how to feel about dancing.

#bmb writing #blue moon ball #blue moon ball writing #wizardposting #sunwitchsays

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lilacella · 6 months ago

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cw alcohol abuse

Remus and Sirius resolve their issues and have a conversation. Yay, progress!

Nightsky

Song recs:

Chapter 7: Not to me, not if it's you

First Previous Next

Sirius had been gone for 5 years now. When he had left for Italy it had supposed to be just for a year, but he hadn't returned. Instead he worked as a cursebreaker for hire, taking on cases that the local authorities were ignoring, all over Europe. Remus hadn't seen him since. He only vaguely knew what Sirius was up to from talking to the Potters.

Sirius would come visit them every other weekend and regularly sent postcards and letters, keeping them in the loop about his latest adventures. Sometimes, when they were still lying on the kitchen table when Remus was over, he would secretly read them, his heart aching with yearning.

A lot had happened since Sirius had left. The most important one being Harry. He was almost four now and squealed in excitement everytime his parents read him a letter from his godfather. Sirius loved Harry to death, this much Remus knew without ever having witnessed them interacting. Just the way Harry always asked about 'uncle Sisisus' and how Sirius addressed Harry directly at least once in every letter, he could tell their bond was strong despite Sirius absence.

Remus own life had taken quite a turn in the past years. Greg and him had broken up soon after the wedding. Despite Remus best attempts to ignore the feelings that had been stirred up by seeing Sirius with Elliot and then his sudden departure, he just couldn't continue playing happy couple with Greg. It was unfair. So once again, he had left, setting the other free to be with someone better. Just that in this case he had little regrets about it.

He had let Greg keep the apartment and moved back to his dad but just two years later, Lyall got sick. Within months he was whisked away by illness, leaving Remus with nothing but his pain. He couldn't bear staying in the house without his father and so he sold it, for a terrible price, moving into a shabby single floor cabin instead. Haggling with the realtor had been one of the many moments where he wished Sirius had been by his side.

His current abode was very small and a little drafty but at least it had a root cellar he could turn in. Being all by himself all of a sudden had a terrible effect on his feelings regarding Sirius though. Never before had he missed him so much, never before had he been so tempted to reach out, to see if maybe...

He dreamt of Sirius a lot. And he wanted to see him again. Talk to him. Hold him. Kiss him...

But now all of that suddenly seemed entirely and finally out of reach.

"Are you sure? Maybe he's just busy?" He nervously stirred in his cup of tea. James shook his head.

"He hasn't written in weeks and I can't reach him through the mirror." James took off his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose. "Something happened. I just know it."

Remus felt sick with worry.

"You don't think he is..." he checked if Harry was within hearing distance. "You don't think he's dead right?"

James flinched.

"I don't know."

Remus swallowed hard. What if Sirius was indeed dead. What then. The thought made him feel icy and hollow.

"Is there nothing we can do? Where was he, last time you heard of him?"

"Prague." James lifted up a letter that had been lying in front of him. "I've read it a hundred times but I can't make out anything useful. Just that he was on a case. That he would tell us about it once he knew any details."

"But he never did?"

James shook his head. Remus picked up the letter, quickly scanning over it.

"Do you have an address? From where he stayed?"

James face lit up and then darkened again. "It must have been on the envelope but I threw it away. Weeks ago."

Remus sighed in defeat.

"I'm sure he'll be back soon, alive and well. I just wished...I just wished I knew what to tell Harry."

Remus hoped that James would be right.

A month later, when Remus had already given up hope to ever see Sirius face again, the Potters owl showed up at his window. Remus was out the door before he was done reading, rushing to the Potters house.

When he arrived, Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table, holding Harry on his lap and watched intently as the boy showed him his new stuffed animal, a little green dragon. When Sirius noticed Remus, he turned around.

Sirius face was fallen in a little and there were deep shadows under his eyes but he was still perfect. Remus heart thrummed hard in his chest.

Sirius looked surprised to see him but if he still held any grudges, Remus couldn't tell.

"You're back." He stated blankly.

"I am."

Lily and James emerged from the kitchen, carrying tea and some sandwiches.

"Here, you must be hungry," said Lily, piling several on Sirius plate.

"Oh, thank you. You didn't have to..."

"It's fine. Just glad that you're back."

"Sandwiches! I want one Mom! I want one with egg," Harry demanded stretching out his small hands.

James put down the teapot and lifted Harry off Sirius lap. "Then you've got to sit in your own chair."

Harry complained a little but settled quickly, when handed the desired sandwich. Sirius smiled at him.

"You grew so much while I was gone."

"Yep. I'm almost as tall as you now!" Harry claimed. Sirius chuckled.

"Almost."

Lily turned to Remus.

"Remus, love, sit down. Did you get the letter?"

Remus nodded and then sat down accross from Sirius, unable to take his eyes off of him. Taking in every little detail that had changed. Like the faint scar on his chin or the tiny freckles showing up on his cheekbones and nose. His hair was still falling as silky as it used to but it was much longer now, reaching down to his chest. Sirius eyes, obviously unchanged - still grey with darker circles around the irises, suddenly turned and met his. Remus quickly averted his gaze.

"So tell us," said James after they had all settled down and everyones cups and plates had been filled. "What on earth happened to you?"

Harry looked up excitedly from his sandwich. Sirius sighed and took a sip from his tea before he started to explain:

"It was really unfortunate. I had gotten a madate to take care of a cursed labyrinth. You know, the ones that trap you once you've walked in and feed on your magic? So I was in the woods where this goddam thing was supposed to grow, looking for it, to check how big it was. These things are easy enough to take down with fire, if you find the initial bush from where it's spreading but...well I hadn't expected it to be so big. And in between the trees I didn't notice that I had already walked into it...So long story short, I realised I was stuck, couldn't use my magic, since that would only make it grow further, so my only option was to find the center of this accursed shrubbery and dig it out. But since the labyrinth was so large and they kept changing it's pattern, it took me a while. Two months, as you have probably noticed." He gave James and Lily an apologetic look.

"But how did you get out? How did you get to the center? How did you survive in there for two fucking months?"

"Remus!" Lily hissed at him gesturing towards her son.

"Sorry."

He could feel Sirius eyes on him.

"It wasn't easy, I admit. It took me a few week to figure out the patterns of the changes and towards the end...You know, I'll tell you guys the rest when Harry's in bed. Wouldn't want to bore you with my old man complaints." He winked at Harry and the boy giggled.

After James had put Harry to bed for his nap, their inquisitive eyes were once more on Sirius.

"Okay now to part two. I also wanna know how the hell you survived that." James jovially slapped Sirius shoulder and rubbed his arm affectionately.

"There isn't that much more to tell," said Sirius. "I turned into Padfoot, since that seemed to be still working, and kept myself alive with rainwater and the occasional mouse."

"You ate mice?" Lily sounded a little disgusted.

"What was I supposed to do? There was no other option and it's not like I enjoyed it. They are quite crunchy, and not in a good way." Sirius pulled a face.

"Sorry, I understand. Continue."

Sirius shrugged. "Nothing much more to it. Once I had figured out the pattern and I made my way through it I spotted the center bush. I just made a pretty grave mistake, thinking I could use a shortcut by crawling through one of the more sparse looking hedges. Of course I got stuck. It took me days to free myself. Honestly I wasn't sure at that time..." He trailed off. They sat in silence for a moment.

"Well anyways, we are glad you're back. We all were so worried about you," said James.

"All of you?" Sirius looked over to Remus again.

"Of course," Remus said softly. "Of course I was worried."

Sirius gaze lingered on him for a few seconds.

"Glad to hear that you haven't forgotten about me." Remus couldn't tell what his tone meant. He looked up from his hands to finally meet Sirius eyes. A warm shudder overcame him.

"Of course I haven't."

Sirius tipped his chair back and looked up to the ceiling.

"How's Greg."

"I wouldn't know. We broke up years ago."

Sirius threw James a look.

"Oh. Sorry. Didn't know that."

James and Sirius did this thing again, where Remus could tell exactly that they were having a full conversation with their eyes but had no idea what about.

When it was time to leave Remus turned to Sirius once more.

"So are you going to stay in the country or will you leave again?"

Sirius shrugged. "Haven't decided yet. I will recover for a bit and the see what I feel like."

Remus nodded. "Right. Well..." He hesitated briefly before handing Sirius a piece of paper with his address. "If you leave, you could send me some postcards too, if you'd like."

He'd given him his address. What did that mean? Did it mean anything? He probably just wanted to be friends again. To make things easier. Or maybe...maybe he misses me, Sirius thought, hope bubbling up in his chest.

Frustrated, he threw the piece of paper onto the ground of his room above the Leaky Cauldron. He could have stayed with the Potters, they had offered it immediately, but Sirius didn't like to impose. Not even on James. Maybe especially not on James. Not after the past couple years.

He had meant to come back earlier, he really had. But he had wanted to be sure, that he was ready to face Remus. He had thought that he was. He had hardly tought of him in the last year. Well, apart from the days he spend stuck in that bloddy hedge. There, the thought of Remus had been what kept him from losing his mind. He had imaginened that Remus was with him, holding him. Especially at night, when he had gotten cold and especially scared that this might be the end of him. Stuck in a bush! How ridiculous.

But now, things had turned out to be much different than he had thought. The sight of Remus, the news about him and Greg having broken up, that fucking address...Sirius didn't know what to do. So he did what he always did when his feelings threatened to bubble over: He went down to the pub and drank.

Sirius was four pints and six firewhiskeys in and the pub had almost completely emptied at this hour. He still didn't feel any better, still felt miserable. Just miserable and drunk, now. He kept replaying his last interaction with Remus, over and over. His smile, the look in his ember eyes, the brief touch of his fingers when he'd handed him the adress. 'You could send me some postcards too, if you'd like', the sound of Remus voice had been like honey in his ears. Making him feel lightheaded and happily dazed. He'd almost forgotten what he sounded like.

And Remus had been worried about him. He had come to see him. So he clearly still meant something to him right? But did he want that? Did he wanted to reconnect, after everything?

Who did he think he was? Breaking his heart and then coming in like that, pretending like nothing had ever happened! The axe forgets, the tree remembers, Sirius thought grimly and swirled the whiskey in his glass. But Remus wasn't an axe. And he wasn't a tree. Really, if one of them had to be an axe it was probably himself. Remus hadn't meant to hurt him. Fuck.

His heart ached and he could feel the tears stinging in his eyes. No! Not again! He'd been doing so well...Why wouldn't this stop?

He suddenly remembered Elenas words. Hope. Right. He needed to get rid of that.

Sirius stumbled up the path that lead to Remus house. It had taken him a bit to find it in the dark and rain. Because of course it was raining! His head was reeling. He was dazed from the alcohol and his heart seemed determined to punch its way out of his chest. It was way to late to be knocking on anyones door, unannounced. But he needed answers. And he needed them now.

Remus house was more of a shack really. The roof seemed a bit wonky and different climbing plants were covering the outside walls. It looked a bit odd but charming. Sirius liked it. It seemed like a fitting abode for Remus. He reached the front door and knocked, without hesitation. If he thought about this for to long, he wouldn't do it. He would get scared of the answer instead and then he would never know. Never be able to close this chapter of his life for good. He knocked again, louder this time. Maybe Remus wasn't home. Maybe he was staying over somewhere else. Sirius suddenly panicked. Remus had said that Greg and him had broken up but that didn't mean that he wasn't with someone else now. His stomach turned.

Then, to his relief, the door opened. Remus was wearing a dressing gown over his pyjamas and looked puzzled and tired. When he saw Sirius, surprise crossed his face.

"Sirius? What are you doing here?" His voice was thick with sleep. Sirius knees felt weak. It had been so long since hearing Remus sleepy voice and it did things to his heart he wasn't prepared for. But he was determined. This had to end. He couldn't keep living like this.

"You need to tell me..." His voice slurred a little. "You need to...I can't do this anymore. I need to stop thinking about you. It's been six fucking years and I'm still thinking about you! Do you see what you do to me? This needs to stop, now!"

Remus took a step back, looking worried.

"Sirius, you're drunk."

"I know."

"Maybe we should talk tomorrow."

"No! I need you to answer me now!"

"Answer what?"

"You...I need to loose hope. If I think there's a way back, then I will never let go, so...Say you don't love me. That there's no way, we'd ever be anything more than friends ever again. Tell me that!"

Remus looked at him, a pained expression on his face.

"Sirius..."

"Tell me! Please." Sirius could feel the tears form again. But he didn't have it in him to care anymore.

Remus was quiet for a moment until he said: "I'm sorry. I don't think I can."

"What? Why?"

"Because it wouldn't be true," he added so quietly that Sirius could barely make out his words over the sound of the rain.

Sirius started laughing hysterically, tears streaming down his face unhindered.

"I'm sorry," Remus said. "I wish I could..."

But Sirius didn't even hear him anymore. He stumbled a few steps away from the door before dropping to his knees into the mud. He couldn't feel anything anymore. The emptiness was worse than the pain.

When Sirius woke up in the morning it took him a second to understand where he was. Then the memories of last night started coming back. After watching him sob in the rain like the most pathetic man alive Remus had taken pity with him and carefully maneuvered him inside, making him lie down in his bed. He had gotten mud all over it.

He was in Remus bed! He looked around and saw Remus sleeping in an armchair, wrapped in a woolen blanket. He looked cozy and unbearably adorable. Sirius could never withstand a sleeping Remus.

He rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to drive away the thick foggy feeling in his head. What had he done? This was so much worse than all his previous breakdowns. And he should be old enough to know better by now. But he hadn't had any other options, hadn't he? He was so tired of being like this. So tired of hurting all the time. He had needed closure. But he hadn't gotten it.

He should go. This whole thing had been embarrassing enough. He needed to get out of here, clear his head, maybe write Remus an apology letter...

Sirius carefully climed out of bed and snuck towards the door as quietly as possible. He was about to put his shoes on - Remus had somehow gotten him to take them off before they had entered - when he heard a noise behind him. He turned around and saw that Remus was awake, looking at him.

"Leaving already?"

"Uhm. Yes. I should. I am very sorry about last night. I...I shouldn't have showed up like that." Sirius laughed cynically. "You must think that I'm completely insane."

Remus shifted in the armchair. "No. I don't think that. But it...it shocked me to see you like this. It hurts to know that I hurt you like this. I am so sorry."

Sirius melted at the softness of Remus voice. Merlin, he would never be able to let go.

"It's fine. I should...I should go."

"No wait." Remus suddenly got up. "I...I thought we could maybe talk. I think we really need to. After last night...Please, stay for breakfast?"

Sirius stayed. How was he supposed to say no? After Remus had handed him a change of clothes that wasn't covered in mud they sat down at Remus wobbly kitchen table.

"Sorry. I know this place is a bit of a shithole."

"I think it's nice." Sirius took a sip from his tea. Remus looked surprised.

"You think this is nice?"

"We'll, yeah. It has a certain charm."

"Does it? I didn't think this would be to your taste."

"You still think I'm some posh bitch do you."

"No! I just..."

"You do," Sirius said with a smirk.

Remus chuckled and shook his head. They stayed quiet for a bit, both staring into their mugs.

"I am sorry," Remus finally started."I didn't realize I hurt you so much."

Sirius snorted.

"And I'm sorry I didn't tell you what you came for," he continued more quietly, not lifting up his gaze once.

Sirius looked at Remus. He didn't know how to feel. His head was reeling and he felt raw and incredibly tired.

"It's fine."

Remus suddenly looked up. "No, it is not! I hurt you. A lot, apparently, and...I really didn't mean to do that. I...I thought that I was doing you a favor."

"A favor?!"

Remus nodded and flinched a little. "I thought, that if I left you, you'd be able to be with someone that makes you happy."

"You made me happy."

Remus met his gaze, tears glistening in his eyes.

"Do you think I am happy now?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed deeply. "Well after last night I can hardly say I do, can I."

Sirius averted his gaze again. Merlin, this was so embarrassing. But talking to Remus felt so good. He had missed him.

"Remus..."

"I thought you'd find someone better in no time."

Sirius laughed, bitterly. "Remus, I...I don't think I could." He paused, frowning at a spot on the wooden floor. "You have my whole heart, Remus. And I don't think I can take it back. Even if you no longer want it."

"I do," Remus said, quietly, hand wrapped tightly around his mug.

Sirius looked at him, almost in shock. Remus had said something along the lines yesterday but what did that mean?!

"I think...No...I know I still love you," Remus continued. "I don't think I ever stopped."

Sirius let out a breath that he didn't knew he was holding and rubbed his palms over his face. This was too much. His head still felt hazy. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he would wake up in a minute, in his bed at the Leaky Cauldron and realize that none of it had ever happened. Or maybe he was actually still stuck in that bloody hedge, fantasizing as he was slowly dying...

"But you left. You were with Greg...You even moved in with him. After just a few months. Did you think that would make me happy?" he finally responded from behind his hands.

"I...I wanted to close the door. I wanted us both to know it was over. I wanted...I wanted to break it beyond repair. I thought you were going to be better off without me. I...," Remus sighed again. "I was a fool. I can see that now."

"So you and Greg," Sirius reappeared from behind his hands and wiped tears off his face. "That was just..."

"A distraction. For me. It wasn't fair."

"Did you love him?"

Remus shook his head. Sirius felt relieved. He shouldn't, but he did. But at the same time he was angry. Why would Remus do this to him? He must have seen that he was hurting and he had been so cold...The memories filled up Sirius chest with an icy feeling. He dropped his head back into his hands, using them to support his forehead as he watched his tears drop onto the tabletop.

"Sirius..."

He heard Remus getting up and pulling his chair around the table, next to him. Then a warm hand appeared on his back. Sirius sobbed. This was way too much. Remus was too close. It felt so good but hurt so much at the same time.

Remus arms slowly wrapped around him, pulling him into a gentle embrace. Sirius head dropped onto Remus shoulder. He inhaled Remus scent, his whole body vibrating with suppressed sobs. Remus hand wandered up, softly cradling his head and drew patterns on his scalp with his fingers.

Sirius fell apart. He didn't know how long he spent crying, tightly pressed against Remus, clinging onto him for dear life. When his sobs finally turned into sniffles he carefully leaned back, only reluctantly giving up the warmth of Remus embrace.

"I'm sorry," he said, wiping at his eyes. Remus shook his head in response.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like this."

He paused, seemingly fighting with himself. "Sirius...I...I know that's a lot to ask after everything, but...Do you think we could maybe try...again?"

Sirius looked at Remus in awe. Of course they could. That had been all he had wanted for the past six years. He nodded. Remus smiled.

"I would understand if you don't want to though."

"I want to."

Remus was so close. Sirius could have easily leaned in and kissed him. And Merlin, did he want to. But he held back.

"But Remus...I don't want it do be like it was. I don't want us to fight again over nothing until we eventually fall apart. What if that's how it's going to be?"

Remus nodded in agreement. He held his hands open between them, Sirius didn't hesitate to take them.

"You are right. We should talk about...about what went wrong."

"Well, you thought you weren't making me happy..."

"Yes. But I thought that, because I felt like I wasn't good enough for you."

"Why would you think that?" Sirius voice already bore the same frustrated annoyance that it had had six years ago. He scolded himself for it internally.

"Because, next to you, it is hard not to"

Sirius looked up in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Sirius. You know what I mean. I don't think I am the worst person who ever walked the earth but...Well compared to you, I did feel rather inadequate. And it's not just the looks, although that is certainly part of it. You are flawless..."

Sirius interrupted him with a laugh. "I am not flawless. And you, especially, should know that."

Remus smiled a little. "No, I know, but even your flaws...I always found that I quite like them. To me you were perfect. And...everything seemed so easy for you. While I struggled for good grades, you got excellent ones without bending a finger. Magic always came so easy to you. And then you started doing one of the hardest jobs there is in the magical world..."

"I think some people would disagree."

"...while I could barely hold down a part time one. And you weren't exactly subtle about all this. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that you think that you are better than me. But you...you weren't exactly the most patient, when I struggled with things that came easy to you. I know you resented me for being so useless..."

"No! I never..." Sirius protested, his heart aching at Remus words. Had he really been this bad?

"You were mad at me, because I couldn't afford to live with you. You suggested we break up over it!"

"Remus, I wasn't...I didn't want us to break up! I just...I was frustrated. I didn't mean what I said." Sirius ran a hand trough his hair. "When you came to pick up your things...I wanted to stop you. I wanted to tell you that I was sorry. But I was too proud. And I was hurt. So I left. But I...I changed my mind, but when I came back you had already left." He felt a tear roll down his cheek again at the memory.

Remus looked grave. "I know."

Sirius frowned in confusion. "What?"

"I know you wanted to come back to stop me. I...I saw you at the park. In saw you cry. I wanted to go over to you, but I was so convinced that I was doing the right thing..." Remus trailed off, wiping at his eyes.

Sirius looked at him quietly for a moment. It hurt to know that Remus had seen him like that and still hadn't cared enough...he couldn't imagine leaving Remus crying like that. It seemed physically impossible.

He let out a quiet laugh. "Besides that...I wasn't mad because you had no money. I was mad because you refused to move in with me."

"But that is the same thing!" Remus shot back. "I could never afford a place..."

"Well you can afford this place, can you?"

Remus looked around in confusion. "Yes but...you would hardly want to live here wouldn't you?"

Sirius smiled mildly. "Remus...I would live anywhere, as long as it's with you."

Remus met his eyes. He seemed shaken.

"I just wanted to be close to you, Remus. That's all I wanted. But instead I pushed you away. I am so sorry I made you feel like you weren't good enough. You are. You always were. Maybe you're the only one who is."

Remus let out a gasp, clearly overwhelmed by Sirius words.

"How?...How can you love me this much?" Remus voice was shaking with emotion.

"It's easy. You're wonderful," Sirius replied.

"But..."

Remus needed reasons. Remus had always needed reasons and Sirius had always been annoyed by it. Why would he have to explain something so egregiously obvious. Remus just needed to fix his self confidence, really. But now, he understood. Remus just couldn't see it. He was too blinded by his own misguided self-image, that he just couldn't grasp what Sirius saw in him. And this time, Sirius was ready to give him reasons until he would stop asking.

"Remus, you are the loveliest person I have ever layed eyes on! I love everything about you. I love how your eyes look like honey and how you crinkle your nose when you laugh and the face you make when you hit a spot in your book that you think is silly. I love the way you talk, always choosing your words so carefully. I love that you are calm, that you don't yell when you're angry, that you always seem to have a solution for everything. I love that you are simple, that you couldn't care less about material stuff eventhough you've got so little. I love how much you care. I love that you are so strong and so brave, having to endure the moon every month and still it didn't turn you bitter. I love that you work hard, that you are determined even when things are challenging. And...I love how you make me feel. You are the only one who can truly make me feel calm and safe. You're the only one that is able to stop my racing thoughts. James...James can guide them into a more reasonable direction but you are the only one who can make everything in my head finally shut up for a bit. So I'd reason, that you are in fact very loveable. But if you need more reasons let me know, the list goes on!"

Tears were running down Remus flushed cheeks. He had a hand pressed over his mouth. Sirius gently reached out to him, carefully cradling his cheek in the palm of his hand.

"I love you," he whispered, trying to catch Remus eyes. "And there is nothing you can do to stop me."

The next moment Remus lips pressed onto his. His arms wrapped around Sirius, pulling him in, his body leaned almost sitting on Sirius lap. Sirius made a noise, a sigh, a moan. Just like the first time, he thought. He grabbed the back of Remus head, pulling at him as if they weren't already as close as possible.

The kiss was messy and wet and they both could barely breathe through their smushed noses, but neither of them wanted to break it for air.

When they finally did, they remained close. Holding each others faces, noses only millimeters apart.

"I love you too," croaked Remus.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea? I mean, don't get me wrong I am happy for you, Pads. It's just..."

"We'll be less of a desaster this time. I promise," Sirius gave James a reassuring smile. James returned it.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again. I mean, I know Remus would never do anything on purpose..."

"We were young. And a little stupid. Trust me Prongs, we've talked. A lot. And honestly...There is just no other option. I can not not be with him if he lets me." The truth in his words ached.

James nodded, understanding. "Yeah, I get that." He looked over to the backyard were Lily was playing fetch with a hysterically giggeling Harry. She was running extra slow, so she wouldn't catch him, laughing happily.

Sirius smiled. Maybe things could be good after all.

#sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #mwpp #marauders #wolfstar #nightsky fic #Spotify

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realmackross · 1 year ago

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PARTIES: @lukas-dark-miracles @realmackross TIMING: Sunday, July 9th SUMMARY: Mack finds a flyer for one of Lukas' groups and decides to check it out. WARNINGS: None!

The group was still in its infancy, so it was important for Lukas to be careful who came through the doors of the currently unnamed self help group. So he carefully greeted everyone and tried to get to know each of them by name and a few facts. Some facts were easily gotten, and some involved him looking into people after they had left. Luckily, while technology had certainly got more advanced and language became stranger he was still able to look up people easily enough.

Still, while he was careful it wasn’t to the other’s demise. Nothing in the group would suddenly drop. He wasn’t looking to hurt anyone, but Lukas did know that for the group to succeed he would need to carefully and gently remove people that did not want to take the next steps towards the dark. After all, they still had a purpose but not here.

So smiling he greeted the other carefully and said, “Hello. I’m Lukas. Are you here for the meeting?” Part of him was waiting for enough information to look the other up if he needed too.

So much had happened to Mackenzie since she had arrived in Wicked’s Rest. More than she would have liked to admit. The latest debacle seemed to be getting her name stolen by something that didn’t even seem real. A slimy little creature of a man that she had never actually met in person and prayed she never would. But in order to do it, she had to give up something else; something of importance that she just couldn’t recall. But she had her identity back, and that’s what had mattered most.

Unfortunately, being Mackenzie again, and not Llama, meant facing all the things she had done. It just wasn’t going to be easy, and it wasn’t going to be soon. But baby steps. And if that meant her vaguely talking with other people about life then so be it. She had done group stuff before. Table reads. Meet & greets. It’s just that none of these things were ever “hit you deep in the heart” personal with the consequence that life could be over in the blink of an eye.

Letting out a soft sigh, Mackenzie nervously held onto the crumpled flyer she had found in town. Was this the right place? There seemed to be a small group of people entering and there was someone moving towards her with a smile on his face, “Uh, I think so.” He seemed nice enough, though she still couldn’t help, but look around anxiously. Did she really want to do this? Would these people know who she was? Speaking of, “Oh, um, sorry. I never introduced myself. I’m Mackenzie.” Sticking out the hand that was free, she waited to shake his.

Lukas was used to nervous people. Most were when they entered a new place, and while this wasn’t a holy site at all, it was full of people and the things they wanted to run from. It was one of the reasons why he wanted to make a group after all, to find the people that were running away from something - darkness, the shadow, whatever you wanted to call it. So, he wasn’t at all perturbed with how nervous the younger seemed to be.

Looking at the flyer in her hand, Lukas nodded, “I think you are, if you're here for the group.” Shaking her hand carefully, knowing now that people noticed how cold it was he had put the air down in the room to feign that he was just cold from that, he said, “Nice to meet you Mackenzie. The meeting won’t start for a little while, so if you want to ask any questions please feel free too. I know it can be nerve wracking to join a new group.”

His smile stayed on his face although turned a little more thoughtful when he thought about how she might be uncomfortable. With her first name it wasn’t much, but if they continued to talk he might get more information just in case. “I can answer most anything, but I do promise if I can’t I won’t say that I can,” Lukas said with a bit of a chuckle. _

She shook his hand with a firm, but somewhat shaky grip. It was odd not really being able to feel if people’s hands were warm or cold, sweaty or dry anymore. Mackenzie’s seemed to match his in being permanently cold. But she didn’t think anything of it. How could she when she couldn’t really make out what sensation she was feeling, “It’s nice to meet you too, Lukas.” Though she didn’t feel much more at ease, she had taken the first step and that was actually introducing herself.

Mackenzie had set her eyes amidst the chairs slowly starting to fill up, before looking back to Lukas, “What kind of group is this exactly?” Was this the right move for her? Maybe seeing someone in private would have been better. She did see a therapist back home after the stalker incident, and it helped. But Wicked’s Rest was a different breed already and with it being a group, maybe it meant she could learn more about her illness - zombism. She just wouldn’t ever admit that she was actually one. But maybe someone else would.

“I appreciate your honesty. I’m finding this town has a lot of liars in it, so sometimes it’s hard to distinguish who's actually being honest with me, and who isn’t.” Even Hollywood was full of liars, but this was a different breed.

Lukas didn’t think much of the other’s handshake either, although he did note it didn’t feel particularly warm. Maybe he should turn the air conditioner up a little bit to not freeze out the others here.

He was used to that question by now, and carefully he had an answer that had happened quite organically after probing people on what they wanted in a group. It was actually pretty easy to cultivate a sense of belonging when you’re thinking of why others might feel alone. “This is a general support group,” Lukas responded, looking to some of the others who filled the room. “Honestly, it is pretty frustratingly vague, but that’s a bit on purpose. We’re trying to build a community in Wicked’s Rest where people feel heard and seen. So this is somewhat a place where people can meet each other and build relationships, to see if there’s anything that might need a group effort to complete - like Rosie over there is starting a community garden and is getting volunteers to help get that started if your interested-” Lukas said looking at the older woman who he was pretty sure was just lonely and genuinely wanted to connect with people, waving a little to her. Continuing he said, “ and generally get and give advice on things that might be bothering people in a comfortable environment. Of course we aren’t a replacement for therapy or anything of the like - but it can be nice to get to know your neighbors.”

At her statement Lukas chuckled and replied, “I appreciate that. I try not to lie as a rule.” Which was true - or at least true enough. Anything could be the truth if enough people believed in it after all. “Although I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been dealing with liars. Is someone bothering you?” His face turned a little serious at the thought.

The vagueness spiked a red flag at first, until he explained that it was a get to know your neighbors and connect group. Mackenzie had felt like she was stepping back in time. Was this what it was like living a normal life and one that wasn’t in the spotlight? Could you actually participate in things like a community garden without there being some other motive to it? She glanced over to Rosie with a soft, sad smile. The lady looked friendly enough. Like she wasn’t about to bite anyone’s head off or steal their name.

Mackenzie looked back to Lukas, “This doesn’t sound quite as scary as I thought it would. Do you have a lot of people who come to these things?” She glanced back down at the flyer in her hands. She had already read it hundreds of times, but what could hurt if she read it one or two or ten more times, especially when he asked her if someone was bothering her. Except in Mackenzie’s mind, she had heard the word something, instead of someone.

How was Mackenzie supposed to reply to that? Something had definitely been bothering her. She had eaten her fiance. She had consumed the brains and bodies of others. She grew up living her life in the spotlight, and now she was having to do a complete 180 and pray that no one would ever find out where she was or suspect what she was. She was lonely. She was scared. And most days her mental health lived so far in the gutter that even the rats and mice wouldn’t dare venture into that darkness.

So yeah, something was bothering Mackenzie. A lot of things had been bothering her, but she wasn’t about to tell him or any of these remotely normal looking people walking through the door smiling and excited to be meeting once more with the neighbors they had probably grown up with, “Uh, no. Not anymore, I took care of it.” It was a vague answer, and one that had sounded remotely threatening in nature, but she definitely didn’t mean it like that, especially after mishearing his original question.

Lukas gave a soft smile at the admittance that it didn’t sound too scary, and said, “I hope it’s not. We do get a good amount of people I think - although I don’t really keep talleys. It’s a pretty new group, and not everyone can make it to every meeting, but I’d say we get 20 regular participants - not including myself.” After all, in this instance he didn’t really count.

At her reaction to his question, Lukas tilted his head not really understanding the connection that she had. It was vaguely threatening and he could tell that some of the others in the room looked over at Mackenzie worried at the statement. He could feel their eyes glancing back at him, and after a moment he gave a soft smile and said, “I’m glad that you resolved that problem then. I know I’ve had some problems with people being unsettling to me. - When setting up this group I had to deal with a number of people and deal with them too. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, and hopefully if someone bothers you again we can all deal with them together by helping them correct their behavior. It’s awfully hard to do it by yourself, and brave.”

With that, he had smoothed over the stares, and turned the eyes around them either neutral or compassionate depending. It was a skill, but it wasn’t a hard one to do in a group like this. Still, Lukas was curious though, why she looked so bothered by something and unwilling to speak on it. He wanted more information, and to do that he needed to keep the peace. “Still, please let me know if there’s anything that would make you more comfortable. One of the only rules here is that everyone is treated with respect and dignity.”

Twenty people was quite a bit. Definitely not as big as some of the groups she’d dealt with in her career, but in a new town with no familiar faces and all eyes on her, it seemed daunting. And the more she thought about it, the more squirrely she became, but she couldn’t let him see that. Fake it, til you make it. Playing a role was something she was familiar with, and now looking back on it, she had wished she had created some kind of character to come in as, instead of as Mackenzie Ross: Former actress turned zombie trying to figure out her undead life.

It was the “all eyes on her” moment that really had her questioning things now. Had they suspected something based on what she had said? Or did someone finally recognize her and start spreading her name around? She couldn’t quite tell, and when she tried to focus back on Lukas, her mind raced to the worst possible scenario. But somehow his words of taking care of this so-called person together and not alone made way for some comfort. It had been so long since Mackenzie had truly felt safe anywhere, and even though it didn’t feel like it quite so much right now, this community group was starting to become slightly more appealing. Maybe it was the way he spoke, but there seemed to be a certain truth to it that she couldn’t quite put her cold-dead finger on, “Uh, thanks. Really, it’s nothing though. I solved it, and I don’t think he’ll be bothering me again.”

That innate feeling that people weren’t looking at her anymore and had gone back to their own business seemed to give Mackenzie some comfort, even though she still stammered, when she spoke, “Just…um, well I’m a very private person, because of the job I do, so I’d appreciate it, if anyone recognizes me at any point, that they don’t ask me personal questions…” Why was she feeling so comfortable with this guy? It felt like she was walking into the lion’s den for supper, and she was the meal.

Lukas could tell that there was some sort of conflict in the younger, although on what he could only guess at this point. Still, he didn’t think that there was anything there that would be against what the group would be eventually. Besides, if it turned out she was good then he could still help her - at least for a little while as he gently nudged her back to the light. If she was meant for the dark instead - well then she would be well suited here.

“No worries at all,” Lukas said with a small nod, noticing that she had said it was a person. Still, he didn’t pry. He wanted more information but he didn’t want to cause Mackenzie pain. It was likely if she continued the group that she would open up more and they could resolve anything that might be left on the table. “I’m just glad you were able to do that.”

At her stammering Lukas listened carefully and seemed to connect something although he didn’t let it show on his face. After all, there were very few reasons someone would be that private and also worried about questions. She had to be famous in some way - infamous or otherwise. Still, he nodded and said, “Sure. I mean, I can’t promise anyone won’t ask questions at all, but you can be as anonymous as you want to be. Many people don’t share much about their personal lives, and I’m sure everyone here respects privacy, and certainly if anyone is asking something invasive please come find me and I’ll talk to them. That’s certainly not appropriate here.- You don’t even have to give a last name if you don’t wish to.” After all, Lukas knew enough now he could find her if he wanted and see if she would be a danger.

Most of the others were now just quietly talking among themselves about their own little projects and things, now assured that Mackenzie wasn’t someone to fear. The group after all was mostly informal, just something to pass the time and reach out to others. It hardly mattered who joined as long as they were respectful - something that Lukas was careful to help nurture. It was mostly out of habit but it would help in the future as well. “Are there any other questions that you might have?”

Mackenzie was starting to feel a little more at ease. Lukas seemed to answer any and all questions she had and had even been willing to stick up for her despite not knowing anything about her. Well, unless he followed her on social media or had watched any of her movies. And even though she had been nervous about the group when it was all eyes on her, the way they simply went back to their own little conversations gave her peace, “Thanks. You guys meet at the same time every week right?” The flyer remained tight in her grip, but she didn’t seem to be fooling with it as much.

She still wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to join. But Mackenzie was trying her best to branch out. She wanted to make more friends. She was already on her way, but she had met most of them, ironically, through bad experiences. And she couldn’t help but wonder if they had just been friends with her out of pity, or worse, because of who she was…No. She refused to let her mind go there. Paranoia was something that could easily settle in her brain, if she let it, and that’s not something she needed to deal with on top of everything else.

Giving the room one last scan with each of the people sitting there happily discussing things, Mackenzie felt the slight urge of just wanting to belong again creeping up in her. She had always belonged. It was just second nature to her. Like breathing air, but isolation and the things she had done made it feel as though she no longer mattered, and that was one of the hardest things she was having to accept about her so-called new life, “Can I think about it? I just…I’m still trying to figure out some things, and honestly, if I’m even going to be in Wicked’s Rest that long.” She bit at her bottom lip, nerves starting to come back over her, for whatever reason; a confidence, she once faced the world with, shoved down deep inside of her trying to claw its way back to the surface, before being suffocated out for good.

At the question Lukas nodded slightly seeing that the other seemed at least a bit more comfortable with the group. It was good to see. “Yes, we meet every week at this time. If it ever changes we’d let everyone know.”

Lukas was good at reading when people were wavering between choices. It was something that a Holy man should know especially with people in his flock. Knowing where people faltered was necessary if you were going to lead them. So, he wasn’t entirely surprised to see Mackenzie waiver. Whatever she seemed to be worried about coming out seemed to weigh heavily on her. So, Lukas backed off a little. After all, them making the choice was most of the actual battle.

“Of course, there’s no formal joining process or anything like that.” Lukas said with a gentle smile. “If you want to come by please feel free too, and if you do not wish to, that’s fine too. It also doesn’t matter very much if you don’t think you’ll be here long or not. If I can ever be of help though, please let me know.”

Knowing that this wouldn’t be a missed opportunity if she wanted to take him up on the offer made Mackenzie feel a little more at ease. It wasn’t like she had to decide today, and that was nice. She had been pressured into way too much growing up because of the community she was a part of, and ultimately it had gotten her killed. But this felt different, and she could appreciate that.

“Thanks. I really appreciate your time. I just saw the flyers around and thought I might check it out.” Mackenzie gave the group one last look, before turning her attention back on Lukas, “And I will.” She wasn’t sure if she was that comfortable yet. Life in the spotlight meant not trusting people as easily, including the ones who genuinely seemed to want to help, “Well, I’ll get out of the way, so you can start your group.” She motioned back to the door. With a small, but warm smile, Mackenzie gave one last look to the man standing in front of her, before taking her leave. It was a lot to think about, but at least it was a start to something that felt somewhat normal, and maybe pretending that life was normal was something she needed.

#wickedswriting #para: lukas #para: come with me now #lukas dark miracles

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vault-heck · 1 year ago

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WIP weekday

Thank you @twosides--samecoin ! I'll tag in @x-sapphicpirate-x and anyone else who wants to participate, feel free to tag me in a WIP you post. I've totally lost track of who's been tagged this week and who I tagged most recently :')

Below the cut, a scene that may or may not make it into the final re-write. Setting: Ron Staples' traveling bar, just northwest of Westing Estate.

“Another day in the Commonwealth.”

“I’ll drink to that.” The third sip of bourbon burned a bit less; he was going to drink it too quickly if they didn’t find another way to pass the time.

“We should play a game or something,” he ventured.

“Got any ideas?” Preston adjusted his hat, tilting it back to expose more of his face. He’d loosened his scarf when they first found the traveling bar, lest any alcohol stain it. It caught the occasional breeze and tugged against his left shoulder.

“There’s always the pre-war classic, ‘truth or drink,’” Noah smirked.

A tilt of the head and wrinkled brows. “Isn’t it ‘truth or dare?’”

“I figure we’ve had enough excitement for one day.” Preston conceded to this with a tired nod, and Noah continued, “So the rules are, we take turns asking each other whatever we want. And to opt out of a question, you have to drink.”

“This is a real game that people played before the war?”

“No,” he admitted.

“That kind of just sounds like… talking.”

“Fine, fine.” Noah waved dismissively and ignored the urge to take several swigs of bourbon right then. “We can just talk. But after everything in Goodneighbor, Somerville…”

He trailed off. How could he put this? Lately, whenever he spent time with Preston, there was a strange uncertainty etched in his features. Concern for all the unknown factors constructing the person he’d just asked to lead the Minutemen, with a dash of ordinary human curiosity. He almost never asked things when it appeared that he wanted to; Noah worried that it was all eating away at him. That if he didn’t extend a branch, they might never talk about certain things.

Now, Preston’s chin drifted upward as he studied him, fingers tapping the side of his glass as he listened. Case in point.

“You’ve said that you’re still trying to figure me out, or figure out what makes me tick. I’m an open book, Preston. I don’t want to drag you to the memory loungers every time there’s something you want to know about me.”

His teeth caught his lower lip as he let out a low chuckle. He might have been re-thinking his words from earlier, or maybe Noah’s suggestion took him by surprise.

“Alright. Do I get to go first?”

Noah opened a palm in a vague ask away gesture, an even facade of confidence in his ability to answer.

They fell quiet for a time, the gentle sound of the riverside blending with notes from the ukulele and conversation on the other side of the campfire. The sky was more teal than blue in the sun’s descent, and Preston scanned woolly clouds above them as he thought.

“What’s something you miss from before the war that surprised you?”

#tag games #thanks friend!#my fics #wildfire rewrite #what god doesn't give #noah o'neill #wips

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brittanagirlcrush · 1 year ago

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I need to rant

So, feel free to totally ignore this but if I don't get this out I will continue obsessing and that's not getting me anywhere.

I'm a writer. Whether I'm good or not is up for debate - I think I am. I write stories I like to read and my grammar/spelling/mechanics are usually pretty good. I've had (mostly) positive feedback on my stories.

I have absolutely ZERO problem if you have a piece of constructive criticism for me. Something doesn't make sense? Something is problematic? I screwed up on the timeline? Cool, let me know. You have suggestions on what I could have done differently? Cool. I'm not saying I'll take these suggestions but I am 100% okay hearing them.

I end up ranting about non-constructive criticism. People who guest comment stuff that doesn't contribute to my growth as a writer or my understanding of a mistake I may have made.

Case in point:

Recently, someone commented about my handling of Santana's ED. Now, I left all of that intentionally vague (like, so vague I probably could have gotten away with not putting a TW for ED but I did so "just in case") for several reasons:

1) I'm not 100% behind the idea that Santana had an ED. I know that's not the prevailing opinion of the fandom but I am more of the opinion that Santana was body conscious (or self-conscious) but not to the point of an ED. I think, and this is simply my opinion, that the fandom locked onto Naya's ED and took whatever was in canon to bolster the opinion that Santana also had one. Yes, there is canonical evidence that Santana had an ED but there is also canonical evidence that she didn't.

B) I have some of my own issues with food and weight so I really didn't want to research and delve into ED. It was one (rather short) scene and I will never mention it again in any of my fics.

HOWEVER,

The person who commented was polite and articulate and I appreciated their criticism.

My only intent was Santana going from too thin/scrawny from poor diet and too much/the wrong kind of exercise to being healthy from eating a healthier diet and exercising more moderately. Thus, the change in her appearance. Working with a counselor was her way of working through all of Sue's brainwashing.

I just felt that Santana would have been self-conscious about gaining weight, not necessarily because of an ED, simply because of who she is and how she was raised.

So, if that commenter is reading this, thank you.

Now, onto the reason for this rant.

If you don't like a song, cool, I get that. Not everyone is going to like every song. Telling me it's a terrible song and seems like my song choices were self-indulgent; not helpful.

Also, Santana sang "She's Mine" ... a country song from 1987 ... I don't think "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" ...

a number one hit for Bryan Adams (for 16 weeks) in 1991, was featured in the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,

Oh, wait ... it was also released by Brandy in 1998 on her album Never Say Never (which also featured The Boy Is Mine with Monica - you remember that song, right? Santana and Mercedes sang it together in Season 1) ...

is really that much of a stretch to think Santana MAY know that song.

Whether it's a terrible song or not is debatable.

For the record; most of my song choices end up being totally random.

Saying my writing is "ableist" ... not helpful. I had to look up ableist. Then I had to re-read my fic. And I still have no idea what that comment meant. How was it ableist?

Onto the comment that kind of made me scratch my head:

"The dialog (especially from brittany) reads like a tumblr rant and not at all like natural human speech"

It was a review for The Spaces In Between. I re-read my fic and, I am unsure if the person meant ALL of the dialogue or just Brittany's rant in the last chapter. I will be the first to admit that sometimes I get the voices wrong. But I thought I did okay with TSIB.

If it's just Brittany's rant in the last chapter, then it was exactly what I wanted it to be. A rant. A word vomiting rant of epic proportions. Because Brittany was pissed. Look at her face in IKAG. She was angry and Brittany (oddly, much like myself) doesn't get angry. She gets annoyed or irritated, vents it quickly ("I do love you. Obviously you don't love you as much as I do or you would put on this shirt and dance with me!") and lets it go.

However, long fuses can still be lit. Brittany spent a good portion of Season 3 not talking to anyone but Santana (she even mentions it in Promasaurus). She was pissed and she bottled it up. For Santana. Because Santana needed her. But when those long fuses get lit they will, at some point, explode. The wrong thing, said by the wrong person, at the exact wrong moment and BOOM.

It's not supposed to be coherent and "natural human speech". It's not something Brittany does - Santana does insulting rants - Brittany doesn't. So, when it happens, it's not "natural"; it's angry and messy and very un-Brittany-like. (People are always surprised when I "go off" IRL because "that's just not like you").

Oddly, this "rant" isn't angry. It's annoyed. If you don't like my writing, don't read it. I (mostly) write for me but I know there are seven or ten people out there who enjoy my stuff so I write for them as well. If you have something constructive to say, I'm glad to hear it. If your only goal is to tear me (or, really, any fic writer) down for the sole purpose of upsetting me - I gotta wonder - who hurt you?

Ok. Now that I've vented my spleen about this nonsense, I can get back to my "real" writing.

Chasing the Dream isn't going to write itself (sadly).

#writing #personal rant #i'm over it

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key-to-the-shadow · 2 years ago

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The Angel ~ Chapter Three

The Fire ~ Chapter Three (Newt X Fem!OC)

❀ tropes: friends to lovers, found family, angst

❀: warnings: drinking, strong language

❀: word count: over 1k

❀: a/n: my goal is to make your heart shatter while reading this so if you don't like crying this isn't for you, this is barely proofread so if you find mistakes, feel free to let me know

master list ❀ story playlists ❀ cast list

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The Fire

I watched as the sun dipped below the horizon from a small window in the med-jack hut. Clint had been pretty vague about what this bonfire was going to entail but he promised me that I could stick by him if I felt uncomfortable. I trusted him.

Newt had been anxious the last couple of hours in an attempt to figure out how to walk with the crutches. He kept losing his balance which made Clint flinch to catch him.

I had to bite my cheeks to prevent myself from laughing at the struggle.

The hours had passed by quickly as the three of us laughed about the other gladers. The two boys had attempted to tell me about everyone in the glade before the bonfire so I knew who to avoid and who to make friends with. They cracked a joke about every single one of them.

"Don't talk to Gally," Clint had said after telling me about Zart, who they nicknamed the fart. "He might ask you to pluck his eyebrows."

Newt cackled at this with pure enjoyment. "Easy there Clint, we don't need Alby overhearing this and throwing us in the slammer."

The jokes, even though I had no background information, were still funny to me purely based on the two boys' reactions to the other's jokes.

Maybe if I didn't step outside this hut, living here wouldn't be too bad. It had set in about two hours after I arrived that I was in fact staying here. The boys spoke of my arrival like a routine. No one left. Ever.

It was a bitter reality I didn't want to face.

As Newt was continuing his attempt on crutches, I began looking around the hut. I looked through the tools Clint used to heal the Gladers. Lots of bandages, rubbing alcohol, cotton, and more. There was a limited supply of pills that I guessed were only used for very serious cases.

Clint's sudden voice behind me made me jump. "You should become a med-jack," He declared. "I'm the only one we have right now and I could seriously use some help."

The offer sounded great. I didn't know who I was in whatever life I had before this but maybe I helped people like this. I knew I couldn't cook, build, or garden. Plus Clint was already someone I trusted.

"Yeah, maybe I will," I responded to the boy. A smile grew on his face.

"Well, it's probably time we head down to the bonfire. It's most likely already up and running and we should get dinner while it's warm," Clint speaks to both me and Newt.

I nod with apprehensive agreement.

Clint and I keep our pace slow to match Newt's, not wanting to leave him in the dust as he struggles to hop along with his crutches. My eyes widen as I

I watch as a few of the Gladers that we pass stop their conversations to stare at the three of us. I didn't know whether they were looking at me or their friend who had just been seriously injured this morning. Most likely a mix of both.

In the distance, I see smoke rise into strange shapes that shift with the cool breeze. The temperature outside was perfectly in the middle. Strangely in the middle. The only bit of temperature came from the wind.

Loud voices became clearer as we inched closer to the group of boys that had already begun to stack large planks of dry would into a triangle shape. The fire was giant and taller than everyone around.

A supportive laugh erupts beside me as a boy wraps his arm around Newt, pushing me to the side. "Hey, dude, how you feeling?" I'm sure the boy wasn't really thinking about it so I tried not to take it to heart.

"Better, thanks Zart," Newt responded with a smile. His features were sculpted against the warm light of the fire.

"They'll warm up to you," Clint added next to me, noticing the drop in my shoulders. It was becoming clear that he paid attention to every small detail. "Here, I'll introduce you to some people."

I nodded, following him and leaving Newt behind to talk with his friends.

A boy with dark skin looked up from his place on a log, a smile gracing his face at the sight of Clint. "Hey," He said, standing and walking over to Clint. They clasped hands and pulled each other into a short hug.

"Fry, this is the Greenie," Clint expressed, directing the attention to me.

"Ah," The boy whose name I'd recognized from the conversations in Med-Jack hut. "So it's true. We've finally got a girl in the glade." There was no bit of threat in his voice.

I liked these two. Clint and Frypan. Even Newt was kind. Maybe not everyone is bad here.

"Here come eat, I don't think Clint fed you in his hell-hole of a hut," Fry jokes, causing a shadow of fake annoyance to pass over Clint's face.

"It's not my fault. It's the builders who built that hell hole of a hut," He counters, mimicking his tone.

A small laugh threatened to spill out of my lips. Fry handed me a brown bowl that was filled with a thick liquid that smelled like heaven. I guess I hadn't realized how hungry I'd become.

I took the spoon from the bowl and tipped it to my lips before letting the warm liquid roll through my mouth.

"Holy shit, this is amazing," I said between bites. Fry does a fake bow at the compliment, a smile never leaving his face.

Clint introduced me to Leo, David, Wyck, and even got me and Minho back on good terms from our rough start.

"I didn't mean to snap like that," He explained as we shared a drink that no one really knew was. "Newt's my closest friend here so I've just been... I don't know."

"No, I get it," I assured him. It was the first time I'd spoken to another glader without Clint or Newt around. "I'd be worried too if I just found my friend lying in a field, unable to walk."

He nodded, rubbing his hands together. We sat in silence for a little bit until a loud noise erupted all around us. I flinched and everyone went silent for a short moment before returning to their own conversations.

"Just the maze," Minho explained. "It changes every night. You probably didn't notice when you came up in the box but the doors were open and now," I followed his eye line to the enclosed doors. "They're closed."

"Maze?" He nods.

"It surrounds this entire glade," He motioned with his arms, pointing to every corner. "We think there might be a way out of this place."

"Find anything?"

He shakes his head until he tilts it. "Well, we keep finding four letters on the walls. W.C.K.D"

"Wicked," I whisper, my voice practically inaudible. Yet, that's all it took. "Wicked."

Minho looks at me with a strange gaze as my mind begins to clear a little bit. "You good there, greenie?"

"Cordelia," I say, excitement filling my voice. His eyes lighten and a smile forms on his face. "Cori. Cordelia!"

"Hey!" Minho stands up, shouting. "Greenie remembers her name!"

#newt x oc #tmr newt #wckd #maze runner #maze runner fanfiction #newt fanfiction #newt x fem oc #newt tmr #thomas brodie sangster #tmr fanfic

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kiljoius-writes · 2 years ago

Text

Tag - Chapter Twenty Six - BONUS

Ao3 | FFN

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE “TAG” FIC

Warning: Headcanons galore ahead.

None of this is required reading for the enjoyment of Tag, it is simply some enrichment, I guess you could say. Clarifies some things possibly, adds backstory for my OCs and how they fit into the Narutoverse. Things I wish I could have put in the fic but were just simply unnecessary to Hanabi and Konohamaru’s stories (who the fic is really about, ofc). As well as the outline of the original story.

Feel free to skip it in case you have specific things in mind for characters never specified in the actual fic. I know sometimes hearing the authors ideas can ruin an image of a character you’ve crafted in your head, so I won’t be offended at all.

Be warned, this is messy and not meant to be taken as "good writing." It's basically me just ranting and raving and sharing my outline. :p Thanks.

Ow. This is painful.

It took me so long to finish that damn epilogue because I just didn’t want it to be the end.

I loved writing this story so, so much. It hurts to end it, but that was its natural conclusion.

Thank you all so, so much for sticking with it and getting to this point with me. I love these two and all the other characters I wrote. I will continue to manifest KonoHana energy into the ether in the hope it will result in something canon. At the very least, we can hope our babies are treated with more respect in the manga/anime.

Regardless, this has been my favorite fic to write at this point. It was the first one I really planned out and put a lot of thought and research into. All of your comments fueled me, every single comment I got compelled me to reread the entire thing to make sure it was good enough for you all because you (we) all deserve the best.

Also, thank you for indulging in my silly little OCs. Hanabi’s background is ambiguous, and I didn’t want to force her into Konohamaru’s team, so I came up with a few OCs (Jun, Eiji, and Tora). Honestly, I ended up loving them by the end of it, and I hope you guys think they were at least okay as her team. I wanted her to be in a female-dominated environment, but with a male who was sensitive to her. They were crafted around her, but honestly, I love them as individuals now and may or may not have more in stock for them as a team in the future. Don’t get me wrong, my proudest part of this fic is the development of Hanabi and Konohamaru HANDS DOWN. But I will admit, I love my silly little OCs (even Maki and Shinjuu, if you remember them, too).

Further, everyone who commented was a godsend, more than I deserve. But everyone who simply left kudos, a bookmark, or just read it from start to finish, are important, too, and I appreciate every one of you.

Finally, if any of you have any KonoHana fics you’d like to recommend (I know lots of my readers have guest accounts) please, please put them in a comment. I’d love to read them, and I know some people reading would love to read them, too! All of the ones I love are in my bookmarks, all you have to do is filter for KonoHana and you’ll find them, and I definitely recommend every single one!

P.S. As a parting gift, in addition to fic recommendations, if you guys have any prompts or general vague ideas you’d like to see a story for these two about, I HIGHLY encourage you to put it in a comment or DM to me on tumblr or discord or whatever you use (all my contact info is in my profile!) I’d love some inspiration and writing for anyone who read my monstrous 260k fic about these idiots would be a treat. Thanks :3

OCs are a contentious subject when writing a shipfic, I know, but I didn’t want to sandwich Hanabi into an existing team that she didn’t belong to or a sensei that wouldn’t realistically be taking on a genin team at the time she would have graduated. I crafted the OCs with her future characterization in “The Last” and “Boruto” in mind.

All ages listed are from the first chapter to the last chapter (not epilogue). Hanabi’s age starts at 10 (3 years after Part I, 1 year before Part II) and ends at 27.

Tadashi (Loyal) Age: 38-55

Probably my favorite OC. I thought it was kind of strange for Hanabi not to have a male guard? So I created one.

He’s branch, but highly respected by the main family anyway. He’s older than Ko and Natsu by over a decade, but younger than Hiashi. As Hinata and Hanabi grew old enough to not really require their help (if they ever did in the first place), the three gravitated towards each other naturally.

I envision him running in the same circles for a brief time with the InoShikaCho parents, sensei to the Naruto era sensei. Tora was on his team, along with two boys who constantly annoyed her.

It was his only stint with being a sensei when Hiashi recalled him to look after his brothers wife while she was pregnant. He remained as a guard for the main family thereafter.

When Hanabi was born, he was the one who carried Hiashi’s wife to the hospital, as Hiashi was gone on a diplomatic mission. He had been close with her before she married Hiashi, and he was charged with watching over her for her pregnancy as well. She begged him to watch over Hanabi like Ko did Hinata, and asked him to work with Natsu on ensuring she doesn’t have to fall into the same role as herself. He was conflicted about this, but made the promise anyway, not knowing if he could actually keep it.

Then she killed herself a few months later, since no one had taken her post-partum depression seriously. No one was allowed to let the girls know, they were simply told she passed from “sadness.” Tadashi and Natsu took comfort in one another, and he knew in his heart he couldn’t allow that to happen to these girls.

He helped Natsu raise Hanabi since Natsu was still a teenager herself when Hanabi was born, then stuck to the shadows for the most part, ensuring their safety.

During the fourth war, he remained behind to keep an eye on Hanabi, at the order of Hiashi, but he had no problems with that (he’s a lover, not a fighter).

When Konohamaru first ‘assaulted’ Hanabi, he was apprehensive of the boy. He knew he was the third’s grandson, but also knew he was prone to trouble. He quickly took a liking to him when Hanabi integrated herself into his group of friends. If forced to admit it, he was fond of the boy. The fondness grew as they grew into adults, and he was truly pleased to hear he’d be Boruto’s sensei.

Speaking of Boruto and Himawari, he favors Himawari, but would never let anyone know that. He’s pretty sure most of the compound agrees.

Yes, Tadashi had absolutely caught them kissing before. He only ever told Natsu, and they agreed to keep it quiet until they were ready to come out about it. They both enjoyed teasing her, though.

And yes, everyone in the Hyuga compound knows Hanabi is not sneaky whatsoever. Never had been, never will be. They let her believe she was so she didn’t try to get better at being sneaky, ensuring they’d be able to keep an eye on her better this way if she thought she was getting away with stuff.

It was a running joke between him, Natsu, and Ko. Even Hiashi got in on the joke once and a while.

Was very happy to see the clan leader soften with the grandchildren. Finally felt like he just might be able to keep that promise to Hanabi’s mother.

Approached Hiashi about it one day after Hanabi had become a sensei. Hiashi told him he was well aware of their relationship, and was simply keeping it in his peripheral for now. Tadashi was the one that told him he had a very difficult choice ahead of him, because the heiress was in love.

He thought Hiashi might be readying to close all his chakra points when he said that, but the man’s face softened with a sigh. Told him they’d cross that road when it came to it.

Incredibly relieved that Konohamaru finally (wo)manned up and spoke to Hiashi the way he needed to be spoken to.

However, Tadashi is a little irritated to admit that Konohamaru was probably the reason their clan changed at all.

Oh well. At least it was changed.

It was probably a little troubling to other clans that the Hyuga now had an Uzumaki Hokage jinchuriki along with the longest running Hokage’s grandson in their family, though.

If Konohamaru tried to get Hanabi to take the Sarutobi name, though, Tadashi wouldn’t stand for that.

Let them keep one, damnit.

Tora (Tigress) Age: 29 - 46

My lovely Nara character. I truly enjoy writing Shikamaru (not really romantically, just generally) and couldn’t resist making up a Nara OC. They’re a big clan, I figure there’s Nara’s floating around in all facets of society.

As she’s not part of the main family, she was never placed with any Yamanaka or Akimichi kids, simply got stuck with two boys she, to this day, is not fond of. She was, however, fond of Tadashi, and continues to be. He was always on her side when the team got into arguments, and often put the boys in their place in favor of her. In return, she was a decent student to him. Despite wanting to nap all the time, she took her role as a genin and eventually a chunin very seriously.

Her father pressured her to promote to jonin, as her older sister was a student of a legendary sannin herself. Tsunade was a familiar face in her household growing up, often coming by to share drinks with her sister when she was in the village. Shizune was also a close friend during those times as well, she had hoped to be on her genin team. Not a fan of Kurenai, found it annoying that boys fell over themselves to get her attention. She wasn’t jealous, okay? It was just dumb. But she really never had problems with her or Asuma. Just didn’t like to be near them, especially with those disgusting googly eyes they made at each other. Plus being around the Hokage’s son was actually kind of intimidating, if she was honest. Did enjoy when Moriko would treat all the academy students to dango after class when she’d pick up Asuma.

Ran in the same circles as the sensei from OG Naruto. Found Kakashi annoying, though did sympathize with him, having lost her mother, too. Found Anko’s antics amusing if they did not involve her, but would quickly disappear if Anko tried to rope her into anything. Had Genma in her ear far too often, and Ebisu was too rambunctious for his own good. Found herself around Ebisu far too often, and she did indeed push him into that ravine. She still denies it. Almost killed Gai one time when he and Kakashi’s battle intruded on her nap out in a nice field of flowers, and Gai came slamming down, nearly crushing her. The only other student besides Shizune she was somewhat close with was Rin. Was part of the group that called Kakashi a friend killer.

In her 20s, she apologized for it once she had matured and realized how wrong she had been. She tried to take him for drinks to somewhat make up for it, but he politely declined and told her they were fine. They still never talked much after that. Her father had been friends with Sakumo, but he never really talked about it, just told her to never let others make her feel unworthy. She never really knew what he meant until she was an adult, and stuck to that as a sensei to her one and only team. She never wanted any of her kids to feel insufficient, not Eiji, not Jun, not Hanabi. All of them always had value, to her.

When Tsunade came to her to become a sensei, she instantly said absolutely not. Then she told her it was specifically Hiashi Hyuga requesting her, as a former student of Tadashi, and Tsunade had to insist. Finally, she was told it was to be sensei to that Hyuga brat. Tora asked if she could think on it, and Tsunade told her that unfortunately, no, she couldn’t, because she was to pick the kids up the very next day.

Tora met with Hiashi that night and told him that if she was gonna take on Hanabi, she couldn’t have her guard leering about, even if she liked Tadashi. The girl needed to learn independence, and that would never happen with Tadashi and Natsu fretting over her.

Encouraged Jun to become a medic, a philosophy hammered into her by aunt Tsunade. Wasn’t totally sure what to do with Eiji, just sort of let her fall into that tracking role.

Was behind the scenes, trying to pull strings so her and her little team could visit Jun when he was hospitalized. Kakashi did tell her how bad the injuries were, and when she heard, decided it was best to wait and not tell Hanabi, lest she bust down the hospital room door.

Treated Shizune to an expensive meal after Jun recovered as thanks for her help in healing him.

Spoke with Kakashi after the fateful Anbu mission that dictated Hanabi kill branch Hyuga. She went to him at Jun’s pleading to find out why Hanabi was so withdrawn, and he didn’t give her the details. Kakashi simply told Tora that Hanabi had endured something he both understood and did not. Something he knew the pain of, but could never be in her shoes about.

What Kakashi meant—was that he understood how horribly painful it was to lose others, and kill others. Especially those that should mean something to you. But he also knew he could never understand what she went through, killing her own clansmen that sought to kill her, too.

Tora never questioned what he meant, simply nodded in understanding. Because Tora knew she could never really understand, either.

As for Konohamaru and Hanabi’s romance, she knew of Konohamaru’s crush after Hanabi’s injury and his mopey demeanor. Knew of Hanabi’s crush the moment she caught them coming out of the weapons store in the Grass. Definitely the first person to catch onto either of them. Admittedly, it was cute, but she was more concerned on Hanabi focusing. Then as they grew up and continued their stupid little game, Tora was just annoyed. Love is stupid. She’d meet with Tadashi once every couple of months to speak about Hanabi’s progress and she was the one who clued Tadashi in on what seemed like an obvious crush. During the battle portion of the chunin exams, when she saw Moegi about to leap into the arena to stop Hanabi, Tora was the one who yelled at Hanabi to stop. She couldn’t gauge whether Hanabi was actually capable of killing to poor kid, and figured it was going too far anyway.

Could understand the attraction between Hanabi and Konohamaru, both spoiled little kids of high standing clans, but not Eiji and Jun. Not that she was against their little relationship, it just confused her. She felt quite bad for Jun, taking on Eiji and her whole family, but he seemed happy, at least. Their happiness was paramount, even if she’d never admit it aloud.

Shizune phoned her one day, long after she’d retired as a sensei (she never took on another team, she refused), asking to meet with her and Tsunade to discuss business (betting on this stupid relationship). Shizune wasn’t a big fan of the betting pool, but did find it funny that Tsunade was so elated to bring gambling into village gossip. Tora immediately agreed, and helped Tsunade organize the whole thing. Had her cousins keep an eye on the pair while she did as well. Caught them kissing on far too many occasions—did they really think this was sneaky? Good gods.

Surprisingly, Shino Aburame had the largest stake. He was a quiet watcher, and was constantly, unintentionally, being fed information during his weekly tea (tea as in the beverage, but also tea as in…well, the gossip 😉) sessions with Hinata. Then when they became sensei, Shino was well aware of how these things were going to play out. Konohamaru was bound to snap, and his prediction was within the month it happened and they became public.

Many were none too pleased to find out he had won the most out of the pool.

Spends her retirement with her books, shows, and whiskey. Fine with not having found love, figured there were too many brats running around anyway and she enjoyed solitude. Still has drinks with Ebisu on occasion to gossip about their idiot high-standing clan kids. Usually ends in an argument and swearing to never speak again. Can’t resist using her shadow jutsu to make his mouth stop yammering.

While most sensei let their teams go once one or more promote to chunin, Tora stuck around longer at Tadashi’s request. Once Hanabi became a jonin, she finally stepped down and let Hanabi be the team leader. She was relieved for it.

She did miss those kids, though.

Eiji (Cheerful) Yorimaru (Trust) Age: 11 - 28

My sweet Inuzuka girl. Again, I flippin love Inuzuka clan stuff, Kiba’s my favorite, Tsume’s my favorite parent, Hana has the potential to be cool as hell, the puppies? Come on. I had to give Hanabi an Inuzuka teammate, and yes, I was very intentional on giving her a primarily female team. I don’t feel like we see it enough in the Naruto series (hence why I was over the moon that Hanabi had an all girls team—lets not talk about that, tho.)

The youngest of six, her oldest sibling is a sister 12 years her senior. She’d been an aunt since she was barely 9, and often loses track of how many nieces and nephews she has. Being around so many kids made her vow to never have her own, though she did fantasize about getting married. Being the runt of her litter forced her to be loud and obnoxious in effort to ensure she got some attention.

Tsume is her aunt, and she often hangs around Hana at the clinic. Kiba took it upon himself to train her since he himself had no one to really help him with Tsume and Hana being busy with their jonin and vet duties, respectively, and all of Eiji’s older siblings were too busy for her, too. Finds Kiba to be stupid, but has to admit he’s nice enough to pay attention to her. Adores Tsume, who adores her back.

Got Yorimaru while in the academy. Had to beat girls back while she trained with him because they all wanted a piece of the adorable pup. Would give her life for the damn dog she loved him so much.

Tough exterior, soft interior, as is typical, I think, of Inuzuka. Like she said on Hinata and Naruto’s wedding day, she loves love and couldn’t wait to be married. She had a crazy amount of crushes when she was in the Academy, Jun not being one of them.

Didn’t realize she had a crush on Jun until he kissed her forehead during the chunin exams. That brought up a lot of weird feelings, good and bad. Began discretely dating shortly after the wedding, especially after spending so much one on one time together after Hanabi’s kidnapping. They weren’t keeping it a secret, Jun just wasn’t a huge fan of public affection and she was trying to respect that. He did eventually come around, and you can often find her clinging to him, jumping on him, riding on his back, and just showering him with general affection. She gave Hanabi the same treatment, too, sometimes, if she’d allow it.

Was thoroughly surprised when she heard her name called alongside the Hyuga princess, as she’d been calling her. She didn’t have any qualms with Hanabi prior, just didn’t see the point in interacting with a spoiled, cold little girl. Same for Jun, he seemed weak and meek and she preferred louder company that could match her energy. But within weeks of being teamed, she found herself loving her teammates. Tora’s personality constantly clashed with her, but they eventually took to each other, too.

She’d always been annoyed by Konohamaru. You’d think they’d get on great as similar personalities as kids, but the way his voice sounded when he cried for Naruto or declared himself the next Hokage was grating to her. He liked to hang around her when his friends were absent, even called her friend, but she never returned the gesture, which he had been oblivious to. Then of course her teammate had to be in love with the idiot. He did eventually grow on her and now she’s happy to see him. Usually.

Cried when Jun proposed. Unashamed, streaks of tears, snot, the works.

Biggest fight between her and Jun is when he proposed getting a cat. Jun didn’t like to indulge in fights, but this was one he felt was just wrong on her part. She managed to convinced him she was allergic (he didn’t believe it, but decided the fight was tired at this point). They eventually agreed he could have a cat at his office in the hospital.

Impatiently awaiting Hanabi’s wedding. It better be as good at Naruto and Hinata’s, if not better. And she would demand to attend this reception, damnit! She can smell certain combinations of pheromones that indicate pregnancy, she’s been around her sisters and brothers wives too often when they were pregnant, she’s very familiar with the scent. And yes, whenever Hanabi comes around, she’s taking a long whiff to make sure. Depending on the timing, she would either kiss Konohamaru for making her an auntie again or murder him.

Jun (Obedient) Age: 12 – 29

My complete original creation I adore. He’s a sweetie and may or may not be distantly related to Sakura. It’s something I considered, but decided not to expand on. As of now, he comes from no notable clan and has no relation to any characters from the manga/show.

Parents died when he was young. Both were jonin who kept to themselves, and were killed in action on a mission. One of the reasons couples going on missions is frowned upon. Jun never found out what came of them.

Gentle nature and medical skills from his mother, sensory ability and reasonable personality from his father, from what he could remember. No one really knew his parents, either. During a one-on-one training session, Tora did tell him she recalled his mother being sweet. Encouraged him to start training as a medic because she knew his mom was one (and of course because of Tsunade’s influence). Decided that was what his calling was the moment she brought him to Shizune.

Though they rarely got to see it, when he wasn’t with his team, he was volunteering in the hospital and studying under Shizune. She was quite fond of him, and he her. She told him once she might have become a sensei herself if she could be guaranteed good kids like him. He reveled in that praise, never really getting it anywhere else except the occasional “good job, kiddos” from Tora.

Moegi was one of the only people to keep him company in the academy if her attention wasn’t on Konohamaru or Udon. She had been his first crush. Udon and he had a respectful friendship, admiring each other’s intelligence. Liked his entire team right away. He considered himself lucky to be on the same team as the Hyuga heiress, and did have some pride in being part of her protection, especially after he healed her during the Grass mission. She often came to him for healing, whether they were on a mission together or not.

It also hit him he might have some sort of feelings for Eiji after he instinctively kissed her in the chunin exams. They both avoided the topic for a long time before he forced himself to be brave after the wedding. She walked him home and he kissed her on the cheek. He found he quite liked the way her markings blended in with the blush on her face, and did it again.

Then she jumped his bones and his face was as pink as his hair.

Did the entire to-do for his proposal leading up to the Hokage inauguration. Took her to dinner, a moonlit walk, and got down on his knee in the midst of the forest. Cleaned her up as she sobbed. Took her last name, didn’t matter to him, anyway. Jun Inuzuka sounded just right. Went to his parents graves to tell them she accepted, and he finally had family, again.

Moegi was visiting her father’s grave when she overheard that shit and damnit if she didn’t cry ugly tears.

Relieved Eiji didn’t want kids. It was a tough topic to broach, but both were incredibly relieved neither wanted them. They’ll grow old without kids, surrounded by dozens of Inuzuka nieces and nephews (and they figure whenever Hanabi and Konohamaru had kids). Is very fond of the kids and has taken it upon himself to teach them medical jutsu at the very least to help with their pups should they need it.

Did eventually take Hanabi up on going in to do lessons at the academy in medical jutsu, where he ended up taking a liking to Wasabi. Reminded him of Eiji. Wasabi, as seen in Boruto, took on the mantle of medic (even though Hanabi initially thought it would be Namida) because of Jun’s influence.

Big KonoHana shipper, probably the biggest just behind Moriko. While he is more outwardly patient than Eiji, he is constantly impatiently waiting for this stupid dance to end so they can go back to just being a damn friend group. Every time Konohamaru and Hanabi had a fight, Jun fought the urge to join Eiji in berating her. Eiji did that enough for both of them. Just imagine this sweet, calm man outwardly smiling and offering comforting words, but in his head he’s cussing them both out and about to explode.

Discovered they were public when he saw Konohamaru shamelessly kissing her all over the face, similar to how Eiji might assault himself. Was a little irritated he had to find out that way, but was happy, regardless.

Finally, Jun was more than ready to move on from this.

Moriko (Forest) Age: 44 – 61 Hoshito (Courage) Age: 3 years younger than Moriko, deceased at 36

I’ve always had the idea that if Konohamaru had any alive parents in Naruto, it would be a doting mother who was much older than Asuma. I also liked the idea she’d be the daughter of the Hokage, honestly its probably just me trying to get more female characters in here. Moriko and to some extent Hoshito’s past were the hardest one for me to write, because these are characters that we know must exist in some form, but have almost zero information on except that they were highly respected, powerful Anbu.

But I liked the idea that she was a stout, round woman who was warm and kind, and her husband was the tall one (where else would Konohamaru get his height, Hiruzen and Biwako were tiny. She resented that Asuma ended up being tall, how the hell did her baby brother end up looking down on her?!), stoic but not cold like Hiashi, and fiercely loyal to his wife and Hokage.

Moriko grew up with her father being Hokage and doted on by Tsunade and Jiraiya. They often brought her treats from their travels. Not a fan of Orochimaru, even before his villainous turn. He always creeped her out and whenever he was around, she tried to play pranks on him to discourage him from coming around.

Wasn’t fond of baby Asuma, being nearly 14 when the kid was born. She was busy working towards jonin and distancing herself from the Honorable Daughter title. Babies sure seemed annoying, she was glad she made the decision not to have kids (oof, sorry Moriko. You were super wrong there). Ended up growing to like him when he could finally talk, and found he was actually kind of funny…kinda cute, she admitted. So she took on the task of walking him to and from the Academy for a few years, then would drop in by surprise to treat the class to treats. She enjoyed feeling like a celebrity to all those silly little kids.

Asuma kind of hated it, because it was always when he got Kurenai to pay attention to him, and then his big sister comes in and grabs everyone’s attention, including Kurenai’s. She was a huge wall in his plans, damnit.

Didn’t really know Hiashi and Hizashi that well, but they ran in the same circles and encountered each other quite often as important figures of the village. Found Hiashi to be her competition on more than one occasion for the top spot in class. Hoshito had been a few years younger than her, so she never knew him prior to her Anbu career. Whenever Hiashi promoted to jonin, she was demanding her father promote her, too. Hiashi was too smug when he joined her on her test mission. Then she decided she couldn’t fall behind, and joined Anbu. The look on his face was priceless and whenever she saw him, she took the opportunity to rub it in his face (even now, as an old man and woman).

As stated, never wanted to be Hokage, despised the idea. She saw how often it took her father from her, rarely seeing him. She only got to really know him when he retired and Minato was inaugurated. She told him, blatantly, that she resented that he was the Hokage and she never had a true father. He was regretful and did his best to make up for it by being a doting grandfather later, even though he had become Hokage once more. Once she had Konohamaru, she had softened her stance against her father and finally began welcoming interaction with him. Never told Konohamaru how much she resented his grandfather as a child, just ensured she wouldn’t repeat his mistakes. Konohamaru has no clue about his mothers strained relationship with his grandfather.

That’s why, when she met Hoshito in Anbu, she immediately pushed him away. Anyone who was a fanboy of her father was no friend of hers.

But he had fallen for her long before.

Hoshito, as stated, comes from no known clan. His parents died in the second war when he was a teenager, like so many others his age. He was three years younger than Moriko and always admired her in the Academy. She was fearless, never let anyone push her around, and skilled as all get out. He fell in love with her from afar at a fairly young age. The Hokage’s daughter had no clue she had an admirer all that time until he confessed it while they were on an Anbu mission.

She pushed him away immediately.

Like, no chances were given. She made it quite clear she wanted absolutely nothing to do with someone who followed her father so blindly. No matter what he said, he was just a fanboy.

And he wasn’t even remarkable in any way! Sure, he was skilled in wind style, complimenting her fire style when they had to battle together, and sure, he was strong, fast, had deep blue eyes, and—wait, no, not that.

He relentlessly pursued her anyway. He never saw her date around, she took her Anbu responsibilities seriously, and so did he. So when one night, they were forced to huddle together next to a fire in a cave in the Rain, relentless downpour, he took his chance and kissed her.

He got a punch in the gut when she confessed that had been her first kiss and he laughed in disbelief. He told her if she let him, he’d be the only one she kissed. She told him she didn’t realize he had such a way with flirting, and maybe he should have been doing that in the first place!

Oh, and he was tall. Moriko had always been a runt, so she often climbed him. Sat on his shoulders while he carried her around. He insisted, who was she to say no?

Hoshito was completely unbothered when Asuma threatened to kick his ass if he hurt his big sister. Asuma also wasn’t fond of fanboys of his dad, he and Moriko had always been on the same page about that. Even if she would pluck his cigarette from his mouth whenever she saw him and promptly stomp it out, threaten to kick his ass if he didn’t quit, damnit. How was Kurenai ever going to love an ashtray?!

Then Hoshito got her pregnant. Sheesh, what a romantic. And she was the one who told him they had to get married, now. He didn’t find anything wrong with that. She told him she’d kill him if he got her pregnant again, and he took that threat quite seriously. He knew she could kill him.

Regardless, they fell in love with Konohamaru the moment he was born, her being 33 and Hoshito being 30 (Asuma would have been 19, for reference). The name was suggested by Hiruzen, and Hoshito agreed. Moriko didn’t really mind, anyway. She did love her village, even if she had problems with her father. It was actually amazing how well it fit him.

Hoshito fell into the father role naturally, and they both retired from Anbu when she became pregnant. She insisted she’d rejoin after giving birth, but Hiruzen refused her, and she found she didn’t actually want to be away from her son, anyway. Being daughter of the Hokage came with perks, and both parents were able to be home with him. Hoshito taught him everything he knew about wind style and she with her fire style. Hoshito brought Konohamaru to Hiruzen often, which made Hiruzen very fond of the man.

Hoshito often told Konohamaru stories about his missions, his time in Anbu, stories of the wars and founding of the Leaf. Emphasized duty to village and it’s people, as well as the Hokage. Really laid it on thick what an honor it was the be grandson of the (in his opinion) most revered Hokage in history. This all shaped Konohamaru’s mindset when it came to the Hokage and becoming one. Moriko reluctantly let all that slide, even if she didn’t necessarily agree with it all.

Phew. When he died, Konohamaru was 6. Moriko greeted him as she normally did, brought him his coffee and paper, and he didn’t wake up. She was the one who had to come to the realization that he was dead.

Worst day of her life, worse than her own fathers and brothers deaths a few years later, worse than her mothers death years before. She had never felt such a horrid, searing, stabbing pain in her chest before. She immediately took Konohamaru to Asuma while she dealt with what this all would mean for her and him going forward. Asuma took over the task of telling Konohamaru that his father was dead as she laid in bed for the next three months. Asuma ended up taking care of Konohamaru during all that time, and it was Kurenai who helped him with it.

Eventually, she recovered, though was somewhat of a shell of her own person for a while. It was her father who told her that she needed to be strong, lean on him and Asuma for support, and move forward for the boys sake. At first, she was furious with him for coming to her like this. The moment her and Asuma’s mother was killed ten years prior, Hiruzen had been made Hokage again, and they had no such support from him in that department, it was just her and Asuma, navigating their mothers death with her having to be the strong one then. All while dealing with the aftermath of Kurama’s attack. But she eventually let that go, too, and simply accepted the help.

With Asuma’s support, she recovered fully. Too bad fate would then take her father from her just as their relationship was mending, and then her brother. She was the only one left, and clung to Konohamaru for dear life in those years. She knew her presence was overbearing, but she couldn’t bear to be away from him for too long. She became withdrawn from the village for a time, wondering if she was cursed to lose everyone she loved.

And then the damn kid took on a Path of Pein and it was the angriest she’d ever been in her entire life.

She laid into Ebisu. How the hell could he let him do that?! Ebisu’s life flashed before his eyes. She laid in Konohamaru’s bed with him for several nights after that, crying over him, berating him, telling him she loved him. He did apologize, but told her he’d do it again, to protect her and everyone else. She told him she knew.

Then Mirai was born and she was in Kurenai’s home whenever Konohamaru wasn’t around.

She thanked the gods she at least had these two. Thanked Asuma posthumously for getting Kurenai pregnant right before he was killed.

By the way, don’t get her started when she saw Shikamaru with a cigarette. “Is that a fucking cigarette, Nara?” Strong language wasn’t characteristic of the woman, so it held power when she used it. She was immediately knocking on his mothers door, and they proceeded to talk mad shit about the recently deceased Sarutobi. It was the only thing that could bring her comfort, to pretend like he wasn’t dead.

Konohamaru’s playful nature comes from her, and his sense of responsibility from his father and the stories he heard about him. Konohamaru remembers his father fondly, and gets teary every time he thinks of his uncle gently telling him his father had passed. He pushed his mother away for a couple of years before Asuma threatened to choke him with his scarf if he didn’t start treating her better.

It was Asuma who made him realize he had to be a man, sooner rather than later.

Moegi and Udon were often in her home when they were children. Moegi’s mother had been a friend from the Academy, who had been friends with Udon’s father, and their children naturally ended up spending time together. She adores both, and was the one to tell Moegi to keep Konohamaru and Udon in line. Eventually realized it was Udon who had to keep them in line and told him as much.

Flashing forward (because Christ, I could write so much about them), when Konohamaru came home one day to say the Hyuga heiress was in his class, she was elated.

Immediately “do you know I was in her fathers class? What a stubborn old fool. Oh, but his daughters are just so cute, don’t you think?”

“Moooom….”

“You don’t think that little firework is a cutie?”

“MOM!”

She had seen the girl around in passing at events, but never really got a chance to interact with her. But the prospect of her son being her friend was interesting, to say the least. Moriko was completely unbothered by Konohamaru’s defeat in the exams by the girl. When he was in his hospital bed, she sat with him dutifully, and when he awoke, she made sure to tell him to go thank her for the riveting match. Perhaps bring her for tea. Then, when she arrived on her doorstep, she was blown away. What an adorable little Hyuga, looking so like Hiashi but so much softer and sweeter. The moment she indulged her in her stories, she decided she liked her.

Then, watching them dance at the Hero of the Leaf’s wedding, well, she was sold. They were destined to be, and the thought highly amused her. So she sauntered up to Hiashi to make sure he knew it, too.

Hyuga were good at feigning indifference, but she saw the way he looked at them, too. He did know it.

Very excited to have Hanabi visiting her after the wedding. Konohamaru became so incredibly busy as he grew into a teenager and eventually an adult, she didn’t see him as often as she wanted to. Moriko had always craved companionship, so having Hanabi visit for tea was welcome. She was delighted she was a good conversationalist (she figured she would be) and was slowly able to pry out information from her about her little love affair with her son (unintentional on Hanabi’s part).

Had too much confidence in her dear son, thinking he would have swept her off her feet far sooner, and ended up losing a healthy amount of money to that damn betting pool.

Has many ideas for their inevitable wedding, and assured Eiji that yes, it would indeed be bigger than Naruto and Hinata’s. She’d make sure of it.

The biggest fight Konohamaru ever had with his mother was when he told her he was joining Anbu. She told him she’d kill Kakashi, then proceeded to not talk to him for the entire time he was training. When he came back, she relented and told him the path forward would be fraught with death. Told him she would personally kick his ass in the afterlife if he died on her, her heart could not take anymore. He promised he wouldn’t, and when he came to tell her he was thinking of retiring, she instantly insisted that he do so. Also insisted he talk to Hanabi about it, too. She didn’t want to see that sweet girl die.

She needed grandchildren, after all. She was getting old, damnit.

Visits Hoshito’s grave sporadically. Doesn’t have a set schedule, just takes off whenever she feels like talking to him. Has caught her son at the gravesite on multiple occasions, and it’s always nice to sit with him and both chat with the headstone.

Honestly, I could do an entire fic about these two and the ideas I have, it’s ridiculous. I can’t fit it all here or else it’ll just turn into it’s own fic lol.

Shinjuu (double suicide, aka Sakaki, evergreen tree) Age: 16 – 29 Maki (obedient, aka Sawara, cypress tree) Age: 10 – 23

Shinjuu is nearly six years older than Hanabi, while Maki is the same age as her. He was actually in her class that first day, having been taken off guard when she walked in. Then she skipped a grade. Typical main family nonsense.

Maki had actually been friends with Hanabi at one point, when they were both small. He remembered thinking she was very pretty and maybe even having a crush on her? They were babies, okay, he didn’t know any better. Then he got his curse mark, and they quit seeing each other. He had no idea why when he was young, but obviously found out why later.

Maki was always soft and kind, he never really resented Hanabi. Thought she was a foolish girl who always had too much to prove, but didn’t dislike her. Even wished maybe they could be friends again one day, though she was busy with that grandson of the Hokage.

Hanabi did remember him, and remembered asking him if he was Natsu’s son. Aside from that, she admitted she didn’t know him well.

Shinjuu was indifferent. He knew what his role was and just accepted it. Did he resent the main family? To some extent, yes, but never took it as far as Neji. He often sparred with Neji and would listen to his tirades about the injustice of it all. Was bewildered when Neji mastered main family techniques, and was secretly tutored by the boy when they were teenagers to become well-versed in some of them. Truly mourned Neji’s death and sacrifice.

Shinjuu actually admired Hanabi, found her older sister to be weak. He was one of the few let in on information when she was kidnapped. He was part of a team that surveilled around the village, along with some of Hinata’s old classmates. He’d never let her know that he was actually concerned about her, because Hanabi probably didn’t even know he existed.

Again, Hanabi knew Shinjuu to be her cousins friend, but not much more than that.

Joining Anbu was one way for branch Hyuga to live relatively removed lives. They still serve the Hyuga to some extent and can be recalled (and chosen for missions specific to Hyuga matters, such as the little rebellion in Chapter 15), but otherwise, they were primarily servants of the Leaf. It’s why Shinjuu and Maki chose the path, to be further removed from the clan.

Both him and Maki just figured the heiress knew nothing about them until they were teamed for that mission to take out branch Hyuga. They had discussed the mission privately after Hanabi had stomped away the night before they were to leave. They agreed that they would both lay down their lives for her, even though they’d never expect her to.

Shinjuu’s last thought was of his mother, and Maki’s of his girlfriend back home. They hoped they’d understand.

Here’s a list of ages of some relevant (to some extent) canon and OC characters starting in the first chapter for age difference reference. First chapter is set 3ish years after Part I, 1 year before Part II These are from databooks and informed guesses.

Tsunade – 54

Hiashi, Moriko – 44

Tadashi – 38

Ebisu - 31

Asuma, Kurenai, Shizune – 30

Kakashi, Gai, Tora - 29

Ko, Natsu - 24

Neji, Shinjuu – 16

Hinata, Naruto (really all of the rookie 9) - 15

Jun - 12

Eiji, Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon – 11

Hanabi, Maki – 10

And finally, here is the original outline, originally created July 23rd, 2022 at 12:30 pm and unchanged since I began writing the first chapter, July 25th, 2022 at 6:08 pm.

Tag Outline

(10) Hanabi tells Hinata she wants to join the academy

Hinata speaks with their father

While Hanabi waits, she continues observing Konohamaru and gang.

Father tells her he decides he accepts her request and she will attend next day.

Her first day is full of people whispering about her.

Iruka is wholly impressed, tells the head of the academy they should promote her to genin

They do, she joins a team – maybe one other girl (Eiji Inuzuka, cheerful, pup is Yorimaru – trust) and a boy (Jun, Obedient)? Think of names and lets have it be a female sensei (Tora Nara, tigress)

Konohamaru takes note of her while she’s training with the boy on her team, but doesn’t approach.

(11) They are assigned a mission together, a c-rank escort for a large party from and back to earth country. They are attacked by some rogue shinobi – Konohamaru saves Hanabi due to her lack of in field experience – training with the Hyuuga always had strict rules to follow, but didn’t prepare her for ambush

Hanabi and Konohamaru purchase a matching set of kunai that they both keep.

(12) They’re both recommended for chuunin exams (possible different viewpoints for both sensei)

They have dinner with all of the other teams recommended a week before the exam

Hanabi and Konohamaru have a moment outside.

Combo of intelligence and team test:

Genjutsu is placed on them, a rough replica of a far off distant village. Each team is given a scroll with very little relevant information, essentially a mission to track down a target. They are told that if they capture the wrong person, they will not be allowed to retake the exams.

The team with the best times will move on (the first half) but won’t know until it’s over, so it may be beneficial to impede others time

But if you do too much, you may scare away your target.

They are chosen to battle (already written from Hinata’s perspective but should be rewritten from Kono’s)

Hanabi freezes when their matching kunai clash. He gives her a little smirk when he shoves to her to ground

He’s flooded with emotion at the sight of the kunai

She’s frozen, realizing he really did cherish their bond

Hanabi joins him in hospital.

(13) Hanabi attempts babysitting but fails- Konohamaru helps her and kisses her.

She accompanies Hinata while she babysits Mirai since her team is busy

She gets to inquire about Konohamaru, which Kurenai says he’s been busy with missions and training under Naruto

Hinata gets called by ANBU to the Hokage’s office

Konohamaru shows up and teases her about her inability to calm the girl, then kisses her

Hanabi accuses him of avoiding her because she’s barely seen him since they graduated to chuunin.

Konohamaru expresses regret over not being there for her when she was kidnapped, expressing how agonizing it was for him not to be able to come to her aid and he has trouble looking at her now due to shame.

Hanabi finds out Moegi is upset with her

Goes to talk to Konohamaru, meets his mom Moriko (Forest) and finds out she knows her

(14) Hanabi avoids him for a while until the wedding, where Konohamaru does his best to stick around her

You ever feel like helping with Mirai, I’m all ears, Hanabi.”

“Big brother Naruto really seems to love your big sis…interesting, huh?”

“I will destroy you.”

She kisses him, initiating the game of “tag”

(15) Boruto’s birth? He and Hanabi have the same birthday

Kono kisses her, asking if they’re still playing.

(17) Her and a few peers are recommended for jounin. The test was an A-Rank mission to successfully deliver a scroll across rebellion territory. She and Konohamaru successfully complete it.

Them, plus Udon and Moegi and two others embark (one being Jun)

They wonder why this scroll needs so many shinobi to deliver

As they try to slip through enemy territory, Hanabi and Udon scout ahead, leaving another sensory type (Jun) behind. While they’re scouting, the rest of the group is attacked.

Hanabi rescues Konohamaru and the other member (A) while Udon comes to Moegi and the other sensory type (Jun) aid.

They end up having to slaughter several people, and it’s bloody.

They are all silent for the rest of the trip. They successfully deliver the scroll to an older woman in a shack, who gave them no details, just a signed scroll indicating she had received it.

They speculate on what the scroll was and who the woman was as they make the four day return trip. They manage to pass through the enemy territory without detection this time.

Hanabi and Konohamaru have a quiet moment together by a river as Hanabi reveals that having to kill the enemy shinobi was affecting her. Konohamaru offers comfort.

When they arrive home, Hanabi offers for Konohamaru to join her while she visits Hinata, Naruto, Boruto and the newly born Himawari.

Hinata admires the two as they dote on Himawari.

Hanabi admires the fact that despite what they just experienced, he can immediately becoming a loving uncle with Himawari.

She kisses him.

(18-19) slice of life as Konohamaru and Hanabi avoid each other

Assigned a mission together

Seeing each other with other people

??????? idk, something cute maybe??? WHY ANGSTY

(20) For her 20th birthday, there is an extravagant party in the Hyuuga mansion.

Hinata and Naruto attend, with Naruto inviting Konohamaru.

Boruto complains, asking when it will be his turn to have a big party for his birthday

Hanabi assures him she wishes it was his party, but will make every effort to ensure next year will be a joint party.

Konohamaru presents her with a necklace that had an aquamarine gemstone pendant (her birthstone).

She questions how he afforded it but he brushes her off, asking to dance.

She questions him about his relationship with someone in the village, which he immediately corrects her to say they broke up.

While dancing, he asks her on a formal date.

He kisses her.

On the date, he reveals he’s formally joining ANBU, so won’t be around as much. The necklace was a sort of ‘goodbye for now.’ She’s confused and ends up leaving him in the restaurant.

ANBU are still a required service in Konoha, as despite peace, threats still lurk in the form of rebellious forces and nin who deflect

Konohamaru joins ANBU, she keeps an eye on him.

(21) Kono escorts her and other Hyuuga on one of their diplomatic journeys.

He’s disguised as ANBU, but she can see through it.

She finds him in a nearby tree, watching over her party, and kisses him.

(22) Two years later, restless and wishing she could see more of him, she requests to join ANBU.

Kakashi quickly accepts it

Konohamaru is shocked to see her and attempts to convince her to quit.

They embark are missions separately for a while, a seemingly intentional move by Kakashi.

After returning from a mission, he corners her and kisses her on the forehead. “tag.”

(23) They are assigned a two man mission escort a young boy from a nearby outskirt village, who accidentally murdered his mother when he transformed into something similar to what Jugo turns into. They’re assigned as to not trigger panic in Konoha, and they’re escorting him to the Orochimaru hideout Jugo is located at.

During their trek back, Konohamaru expresses his regret that things ended before they began between them. She tells him nothing would have began.

She kisses him on the cheek before they part ways.

(24) A few months later, she finds him mindlessly plucking at grass near the Hyuuga complex, Hanabi stumbles on him after returning from her own mission.

She asks what’s wrong, he tells her he’s quitting ANBU. She notices tears in his eyes. She softens. He reveals he had to kill one of his early academy school mates. She comforts him.

He gives her a solemn warning about being in the ANBU

True to his warning, she is sent to subdue a rogue branch Hyuuga. Kakashi and Hiashi both specifically request her to keep it quiet and within the clan only. She is joined by Shinjuu (double suicide, aka Sakaki, evergreen tree) and Maki (obedient, aka Sawara, cypress tree)

Hanabi has to face her toughest opponent yet, and after killing the branch Hyuuga, she returns with a broken spirit.

Konohamaru visits her in the hospital. He holds her as she sobs for almost an hour, and stays with her, despite not knowing what happened.

He kisses her.

A month later, she turns in her notice of retirement, citing clan obligations, though Kakashi understands the true reason.

(24) Tanabata

Meets with Konohamaru as she’s escorting Himawari, him Mirai

Pregnancy scare

Eiji protective of Hanabi

(25) Slice of life style for several scenes from 25-26

Konohamaru babysits Boruto and Himawari (10 and 8) in Hinata and Naruto’s home, Hanabi comes over without knowing

She finds he’s built them a forte, which Boruto claims is too kiddish but ends up joining them

They tease Boruto about Academy, telling him he wont need babysitting once he becomes a genin

He expresses that he is considering training to be a jounin instructor. Though it’s a lie, she expresses that she’s also considering it.

She visits his mother and gets him Ramen when she tells her he’s sick

When she witnesses the state of his home, she forces her way in to take care of him.

“You always take care of me. Let me take care of you.”

“If you’re gonna get all sick like me, you might as well c’mere.”

“I draw the line at sick sex.”

(26) Hokage ceremony. She anxiously awaits with Konohamaru, only for him to be pulled aside by Iruka. He later confides in her that he had to take use a transformation jutsu to pretend to be Naruto because Himawari incapacitated him. Hanabi nearly sheds a tear of pride along with lots of laughter.

She gives him a little peck on the cheek and congratulates him for finally attaining his “dream”.

(27) Upon learning Konohamaru was accepted as a jounin instructor from Hinata, she puts her application in with Iruka

Naruto discusses it with Iruka, finding it funny that Hanabi always ends up where Konohamaru does.

Naruto decides to deliver the news by visiting the Hyuuga compound with the kids. He asks her if she’s excited to work alongside Konohamaru, causing her to blush and warn him.

They excitedly discuss their acceptance of becoming jounin instructors and speculate what their teams might be like.

Once they find out their teams, They exchange comments on their teams,

Konohamaru says he was expecting the InoShikaCho group but figures big brother Naruto wanted him to personally train his son.

Hanabi expresses that she’s happy that Konohamaru is Boruto’s sensei.

Hanabi warns Boruto that Konohamaru will not be going easy on them

Hinata muses on Konohamaru and Hanabi with Naruto

(27-28) Jun and Eiji wedding

Big, rowdy Inuzuka wedding

Moegi pushes Hanabi forward when Eiji throws her bouquet, forcing her to catch it. Cut scene of Hanabi locking eyes with Konohamaru.

Hanabi dances with Jun, Konohamaru with Eiji

Eiji berates Kono

Jun berates Hanabi

"stop being stupid"

“Hanabi…be happy. Please.”

Drunken Hanabi telling him to get her pregnant so they can just definitively be together

He swiftly rejects the idea. Drunken crying from Hanabi about him not wanting her, devolving into her feeling like she’ll never escape her fate.

The next day, Hanabi’s already gone. Moegi and Udon bring him breakfast.

“Figure it out,” Moegi tells him sharply as she tries to shove rice in his mouth, “you have to secure this.”

“For all of our sake,” Udon adds, grabbing him water, “if there was two people who are meant to be, it’s you two. And gods you know, I don’t believe in any of that.”

Just as Konohamaru tried to protest, Moegi closed his mouth to chew, “shut up. You have nothing to say.”

“Be a little easier,” Udon tried to interject to her irritated look, “c’mon! He’s an idiot in love.”

“Fine,” Moegi mumbled.

Konohamaru wondered how he could possibly end up in this position, with his childhood best friends shoveling food and water into his mouth to placate him as he moped over a girl.

“Eat, you idiot,” Moegi mumbled, shoveling more food into his mouth as Udon looked in amusement.

“You better not be thinking of arguing, are you?” Udon asked.

(28) Drunken scene with the debating of whether to recommend for the chuunin exams

They walk home together, eventually arriving at Konohamaru’s unit, far passed the Hyuuga compound.

He apologizes, insisting on walking her back. She insists she go inside. Konohamaru is caught off guard, blushing as he questions her. She insists and he obliges.

He offers she take the bed, and she drunkenly kisses him.

After some heavy stuff, he insists they’re too drunk to continue. She tries to say she doesn’t care, but he puts her to bed regardless and takes the couch for the night.

In the morning, he’s gone and she seeks him out at the training grounds. She apologizes for her behavior and he gives her a comforting embrace. She insists it was just a fluke moment, but he grabs her by the face and tells her he didn’t want their first time to be like that. She questions him when she asks about ‘first time’. This needs to be reworked unfortunately, smut brain took over.

“Hanabi. I’m in love with you.”

Epilogue?

Summary:

She was the firework, sparking in the shadow of his leaves. He was the brat, bathing in her sun. Somehow, she was always following after him. And he was always waiting for her.

Or: Watching Konohamaru and his team wreak havoc around town, Hanabi desperately wants to know what it’s like to be a kid. Follow Hanabi and Konohamaru from academy students to sensei, a fully fleshed out story.

I’m so, so incredibly lucky that I had such a strong base of support for this silly little pairing. Receiving any sort of feedback is always a euphoric experience (at least for me) and I was and continue to be so deeply grateful anyone took time to let me know they liked what I wrote.

Thank you, all of you. My heart is full even as it breaks. Be well, and maybe I’ll see you soon.

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