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lucabyte · 5 months

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i burned the bridges thoroughly but still everyone's trusting me again and i should be relieved but it happened so suddenly (and i know in my heart i haven't earned this, but everyone acts like my concern isn't a problem like nothing is wrong with my very involvement)

but i know how the song ends (x)

#i've forgotten far too often why i even recognize these faces / that don't have names placed with them / inside my hazy brain /#but then / there's too much to begin to touch on here #SASASAP ASS LYRICS. this whole song could be a siffrin (of any flavour) postcanon song should you quietly ignore the chorus #miraloop #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat #isat spoilers #isat loop #isat mirabelle #isat fanart #lucabyteart #this drawing has been sat in my wips for like 2 weeks+ which is unusual for me. finished it up for the miraloop qpr people since they seem #to be popping off recently. all that aside. HOMESTUCK BEYOND CANON BLAST. BE REMINDED HOW BANGIN THIS ALBUM IS.#this is what the loop GUILT facial expression doodle page was for btw . trying to figure this out. the original caption was gonna be more #along the lines of 'I hate that I'm so cruel. i hate being this way' but it was much too blunt. but secrets live in the tags so

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moonkhao · 1 month

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hi.

#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone #but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3 #it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere #like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july #which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault #i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY #anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like #flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation #i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D #and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen #it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold #(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all #like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love #ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place #anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls #and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE #he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual #i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now #i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3 #AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks #@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3

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speakofcompersion · 5 months

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God of Performance Taemin ft. the cutest audience in the world 🥰 Move on AKMU's The Seasons: Long Day, Long Night (231103)

Bonus: AKMU also being cute

#First off: props to the live musicians. this live remix of Move is everything to me. It's so funky and groovy i love love love <3 #i want it stream-able pls give the clean audioo i beg #also to the cutest audience in the whole world: i love you. This video makes me so happy they're all so engaged and energetic #i relate to every person here :P the energy in this room must have been amazing!#he really did get them all to Move 😉#and look at the beaming smile on Taem's face!!! he is loving this soooo much <333 #on the ethics of gif-ing audience members... i couldn't resist. I did make a poll a few weeks ago and “it's ok to gif” won the poll...#but only 3 to 2 (5 people voted total lol) so.. you can't really call that conclusive. feel free to lmk if it's not fair to audience!!#if so then i will remove gifset :'))#taemin #lee taemin #shinee taemin #shinee #akmu #kpop #performance #move performance #analook

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bettycooper · 1 year

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#the darkling may live in a thousand moments #i live in this single one right here

#darklina #shadow and bone #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #sabedit #shadowandboneedit #darklinaedit #darklinadaily #otpsource #shadowandbonecentral #shadowandbonesource #jemmablossom #userbecca #shadowandbonenet #dailyflicks #userbbelcher #[ been living here for a whole week ]#[ no other thoughts ]

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figofswords · 4 months

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i know ive made myself the #1 izutsumi stan in the eyes of all of my friends and probably some of you online people but what if i became a mithrun stan. there is something about him that compels me. i just want to *clenches fist* put him on the drying rack. lovingly stick him into a tupperware for later. make him into. a broth of some sort. do you understand

#posts that probably look deranged to anime onlies. listen you will understand #i love you vegetable scrap man! wet cardboard man! pathetic crumpled up piece of laundry!#dunmeshi #ok uh manga spoilers in the following tags #the dichotomy of favorite characters...#feral teen girl who always follows all her desires vs damp middle aged elf man who is incapable of desiring anything....#and the BEST thing with mithrun is kabru has to babysit him. like out of anyone to babysit mithrun. kabru is objectively the funniest #but like. seriously the whole. you will gain new desires every day! thing. sobs #i know a lot of ppl relate to mithrun for that. i personally relate more to izutsumi if im being real here #but mithrun still makes me go OOUUUUGHHGHGH THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR TO KEEP LIVING FOOOOOORRRRRRR #also i like his design. his very specific hair. the fuckin. big shirt over the armor im obsessed with. the missing eye #the way he goes from 200% when he's got the lion in his sights to -500% literally any other time #kabru being like AH POWERFUL ELF MAGE GOTTA GET READY TO DEFEND MYSELF SOME MORE why are u just sitting there. hello #i haven't posted any mithrun art bc i haven't had time to sit down and finish a real piece #but ive been doodling him on any scrap of paper that finds its way into my hands literally any chance i get #the whole weekend i tabled at animzement i just sat there and doodled izutsumi and mithrun in my notebook #im gonna draw him for real tho. soon. im putting in my 2 weeks tomorrow and then i will have more art time

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micahdotgov · 2 months

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some photos from the all the president's men blu-ray features i haven't seen posted before

#its very possible that these have been posted before but i havent seen them so i want them all in one post #many things to talk about here. most importantly. a second angle of the lean in scene has hit the towers.#dustin on the bike has made me wonder if there was originally a scene of carl cycling but they cut it. which would have devasted real carl #btw you would not believe what i went through to get these. it was a weeks spanning saga it was a whole thing #ive learned its very difficult fixating on such an american thing and not living in america #micah.txt #journalism yaoi tag #long post #(← not too long i think but i dont want to annoy people)

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yshtal · 14 days

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when I was little I used to play clue with my sister and when I won by being like “okay YOU don’t have the candlestick and I don’t have the candlestick and there are no more cards, so it’s gotta be the candlestick” she would get really mad and tell me I was cheating because I wasn’t supposed to be making assumptions like that and she didn’t understand where I was getting the info from, so I was ruining the game for her

anyways I don’t rly get why people on twt are THAT mad about veilguard spoilers because they do not seem that deep

#dragon age spoilers #dav #da4 spoilers #da4 #and my GOD the spoilers are here in the comments too #but like I keep seeing people like ‘I can’t believe they’d just tell us that the blight is organic’#girl the blight’s BEEN organic #‘they said we’re gonna see things about solas’ past!!!!!’#at solas’ house? his house in the fade? where all the dreams and spirits and memories live? groundbreaking #I can see the whole ‘ghilan’nain has been experimenting on darkspawn’ thing as a shock to some people #and I’m not saying you have to read the companion books #but like….. that was established in tevinter nights #a book that’s been out for four years and pretty widely discussed in the fandom #also though the discourse around spoilers for da4 has just been bizarre in general #like idk man I think that BioWare/content creators being like ‘in two weeks there will be spoilers on twt’ is….. decent and reasonable?#and some of the comments are so……. ????#I just don’t think ‘I don’t like spoilers so no one else should be allowed to see them’ is a very hinged take #I saw someone who said that them saying ‘’maybe stay off twt for a minute’#was essentially them telling her that she couldn’t read the news or talk to her family #like WHAT are you talking about #and I think yeah! it is totally your right to not want to see spoilers absolutely 1000% fair #but why are you watching a 22 minute gameplay reveal and expecting it to be entirely context-free???#ESPECIALLY when all the videos have a warning at the beginning about spoilers??#on twt I keep seeing people who are like ‘showing all this stuff about the game in advance is rude to fans and HORRIBLE marketing’#what do you MEEEEAAAAANNNNNNNN

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 1 year

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will you shut the fuck up? what if the shit doesn't hit the fan? what if we do make it? what if you don't die? can you have a little hope? just have a little hope

#stop dooming your own narrative and living under that shadow. ffs #this isn't actually vagueing at anyone here this is vagueing at my grandpa bc I've been mildly annoyed all week #that he's SO fatalistic about EVERYTHING. like yeah the world sucks. so what? stop being cynical about it #which is hilarious bc he's the SOFTEST guy ever. he just occasionally goes off on these deeply cynical rambles #in the softest friendliest tone of voice and I'm like. wow. can you maybe have a little hope please???#anyway I'm gonna say this in the tags here bc I have a weird mental block about making a Real Post:#please pray for my grandpa bc his heart surgery went great but he's been diagnosed with a pretty bad form of cancer #so... yeah #prayers for him and our whole family and all of their relationships with God to grow instead of getting worse and etc etc etc #I'm at the OTHER grandparents' house rn and need prayer for OTHER things here but. yeh #Lu rambles #soz for the language I just needed to say this

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justalittlebluetiefling · 22 days

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I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.

#personal #move back to your small hometown they said #it'll be fun they said #me chanting over and over again:#if you live here you get to see your family all the time #(this is a good thing for me i love my brother and his family)#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point #anyway newest drama is that one of the parents thinks it's suspicious that i 'quit' the same time my best friend moved away #the shit that is being said about us right now??? fucking wild #i haven't told any of those kids why i really left because they don't need me to be gossiping about their current coach to them #that would be so unprofessional of me #i say like she wasn't spreading rumors about me to THEM directly last year #we are all in our 30s here why are we acting like fucking teenagers still #i'm about to be real petty when i go visit next week though #'oh my god you won't believe what i heard crystal is telling people at her salon'#to the coach not the kids lol #i have a sneaking suspicion that the she is involved in this gossip in an adjacent way not directly #and i want her to think about the shit she says before she says it #she's mad that i don't want to coach jv when i told her multiple times i don't want to run my own program #and that i'd be happy to help her out as an assistant coach but that having to deal with parents is my worst actual nightmare #see what's happening right now #literally the only reason i applied is because i love those kids and they were all freaking out about my friend leaving #because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving #and i was like hey i won't leave you guys don't worry #it's her fault that she chose not to include me in any of her brainstorming for next year #if she really wanted me to be involved she would have been talking to me about it back in april #i'm literally barely pulling myself out of my grief hole about losing coaching #and i could have stayed around but i would have been miserable #because it wouldn't have been in the capacity that i really wanted #oof okay i feel a little better after venting a bit

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butnotbubblegum · 2 months

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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.

#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea #like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit #and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble #and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal #and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die #and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide #like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif #like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat #is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself #is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills #feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing #actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub #i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local #and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id #if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like #such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just #is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state #by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about #living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the #urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends #and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so #fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i #hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever #bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc #everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m #father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop #i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak

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toxooz · 10 months

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breaking out into hives gnawing at my enclosure bars i Need to work on my comic again to physically see what happens next

#LUCKILY i get the whole next week off bc we're so ahead from them workin us to death all damn year SO #im gunna try my damnedest and get all the shit i got in my system drawn out nfsw and regular drawings too done this week and then Hopefully #im going to start the next comic section by next week #gunna risk it all bc theres still fucking nowhere to move out to so im gunna get one more update in b4 the end of this year #currently stuck between allegedly making too much to live here and literally every single other place too expensive to move into whadda joy #but whats new pussycat ANYWAY im so ready to start working on concepts for the next scene in wheel bitten ive been plOTTIN #getting to the stage where the visions have been actively sitting in my brain for so long its starting to drive me crazy YEEHAW

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backslashdelta · 6 months

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#I'm not back yet but I do have cool things happening in my life that I want to scream about so #here I am for a moment!#so first of all #I paid off my mortgage?? like the whole entire thing???#I just. own my whole entire house outright now. no recurring payments to continue living here.#except property tax and like. other bills but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN #so that was last week #and then THIS WEEK #guess who got a promotionnnnnn #(it's me I did)#got a fancy new title and a raise ayyyy #been dying with work lately so I damn well deserve it too lmao #anywayyyy hi everyone I love you I miss you mean #mine #personal

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chibi-scone · 6 months

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It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me

#and Izzy’s whole speech to Ricky before that could be interpreted as what like #being about even if you kill and try to eradicate queer people we’ll always be here #and then have RICKY deal the killing blow ????#wahhhh it’s symbolic #ok it would’ve been more symbolic to have the fucking queer character live like idc you’re all stupid god bless #ofmd critical #tbd #maybe #oh and then I mean not even talking about how it’s supposedly all good #because the main gays who had borderline no redeeming qualities this season had their picket fence ending #literally what’s the point of having Ed come back from the dead #so he can learn that death is not the answer and that there’s love and betterment for him #and have that whole scene with Jim and Archie where they refuse to kill one another because there’s more to life than the cards #they’ve been dealt and they can be the difference #JUST TO HAVE THAT ENDING #my god I just #sorry if you guys are sick of me ranting about ofmd like 5 months after the shit show supreme #but these are like all thoughts that I’ve just had in my head for months but tried to forget #and now they’re just spilling out like idc anymore #ppl have made so many good posts that all say what I think but ig I still need to rant myself jvhsjnv #how long can your neck be for it to allow you to bury your head so deep in the sand #where you truly believe this is good writing idk #side note but gifs of cats randomly blowing up are my favourites #‘Izzy bettered himself before dying so it’s aaaallll good’ hits you hits you #stupid ass shit argument but also that was across maybe a week and dude was piss drunk dissociative half the time

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casiavium · 5 months

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Hi. If you haven't cleaned out your fridge in a while, you should check for expired food.

#i hate my roommates!!!! whag the FUCK #i will admit I don't check my food as often as I should. sometimes things expire #however #there has been a terrible smell in the apartment that no one could figure out what it was #so! i cleaned out the fridge #Turkey from OCTOBER 2023 #CHICKEN THAT EXPIRED TWO WEEKS AGO. UNOPENED #EXTREMELY MOLDED BREAD. EXTREMELY MOLDED CUCUMBER #AND IT WAS FROM FUCKING TRADER JOE'S??? that SHIT IS EXPENSIVE #I can't even GET to Trader Joe's because it's not on the bus route. I've been twice the whole time I've lived here because someone had a car #neither time did I buy chicken because it's too fucking expensive!!!!!!!#AND THE WHOLE UNOPENED CONTAINER WAS JUST SITTING IN THE FRIDGE TWO WEEKS PAST EXPIRATION #AND someone keeps turning the temperature number setting down so it's not as cold. THE FRIDGE WAS AT 50°F #unsafe #your fridge should be between 30-40°F #your freezer 0-5°F

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hopeinthebox · 1 year

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tagged by loml @cordiallyfuturedwight for the monthly breakdown. i might like you less now that you know me so well. tagging some crushes @aprylynn @thvinyl @monismochi @kimtaegis @banghwa @eoieopda @pauls-mccharmly @letmelovekoo @visionsofgideontheninth @kimchokejin if you feel so inclined 💜

#gratuitous commentary as per:#ryan beatty no.1 to no-one's suprise. pretty sure i said last month that white teeth was a new fav and look at her now!!#BACK ON 74!!!!! always been a fan of jungle but my GOD. this track... the mv... it's taken over my life #unexpected breakthrough for the clash? no idea. great tune though #boygenius my beloved!! saw them live last week and i will perhaps never be quite the same again.#whole discography is a rec but leonard cohen has my heart in all senses #hozi3r... unreal unearth... it's a masterpiece... it's over for my wrapped #top artist yet only these two made the list? lord forgive me #first time and first light are spectacular. butchered tongue is otherworldly. i think unknown remains my fav single.#shy boy - fucks beyond belief. new crj album is magnificent as anticipated #dela - recently i have experienced a george of the jungle resurgence and this is very much the result of that.#phenomenal tune. extraordinary film.#come to your senses - tick tick boom revival for me also because andrew garfield the man that you are...#alas 40/23 doesn't have quite the ring to it #move - lynda dawn is fantastic. a lot of these tracks fell victim to my ayo edebiri playlist <33 #that's all folks!#tag #receiptify #is anyone still here?? kissing you

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phantajam · 1 month

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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive #a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol #thats not to say I don't like the canon ships #but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be #added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1 #not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the #finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along” moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before #throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing #to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on #I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a #daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first #boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben #same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first #guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin #her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where #both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I #wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his #energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo #and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.

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