#[ because at least one of their babies had to happen roughly at the same time]

[piccoloswifers]

Piccolo X Wife!Reader

Different things you do that make your husband go 🥰🥵😏

TW: A little spicy, Sex, Violence against Frieza

Being Piccolo's wife was more than just a title, it was proof of how irresistible you were to anybody and everybody

At least, that's what Piccolo believed because nobody and nothing else was as addictive as you were. He couldn't get enough of you the moment he had met you

The needy feeling hadn't dwindled even a moment once the two of you became an official couple. If anything, it got worse the more he was exposed to your adorableness

You found yourself unintentionally catching your husband's intense attention all the time, you weren't even trying to seduce him. Really!!

Though it's your fault he has these urges to pleasure and tease you now, he wasn't insatiable like this until his first time being intimate with you

You've made a monster out of him 😏

BUT-

You genuinely turn him on without even trying and the knowledge makes your whole body flush when you really think about it

One time you're watching the Trunks and Goten play, Pan cuddled up against you as you rock baby Bulla to sleep, a soft smile on your face as you soak up the sun

You felt your husband's presence and waited for him to come sit with you, eager to lean against him and make the moment even more perfect

Only Piccolo doesn't move, instead frozen and staring at the blissfully domestic moment between you and all the little ones

He's taking in the sight of your lips, the sounds of your contented sighs, and the feeling of happiness radiating off of you and the children

He's suddenly spurred into action when you open your eyes in confusion and pout at him, overcome with the urge to squeeze you tight

"Piccolo? Are you going to come sit with u-oh~!"

You let out a happy gasp as your husband storms forward and gently(but firmly) grabs the back of your head, kissing you hard and purposefully

It's somehow hot and sweet at the same time, his fangs nipping at your lips a little too roughly before he pulls away with a flustered look, plopping himself down next to you and crossing his arms

You lean your head on him as you catch your breath, face flushed and body buzzing pleasantly, only to be embarrassed all over again when a strong arm pulls you by the hips until you're pressed tightly against Piccolo

His eyes are closed, and his lips are set in their usual frown, but you can feel his desire for you in how firmly he holds you close

At some point, you end up in his lap, and he refuses to let you move, a large hand rubbing your hip in a way that should be soothing but instead feels suggestive

Maybe you two are a little too obvious when you're returning the kids back to their parents, practically racing out the door once the drop-off happens

Not that you care all that much when suddenly your husband is pressing you against the front door and licking inside your mouth in a way that feels dirty

And especially not when he lets out a particularly delicious sounding grunt as you yank him closer by the fabric of his clothes, the two of you making heated eye contact as his tongue glides across your own

You still don't know what you did to get that reaction out of him...

Or, like the time when everyone was gathered together to face the problem of a new foe, settled next to Piccolo as Vegeta yelled at Goku for not taking things seriously

Your frown showed your worry, a feeling that only got worse when Piccolo had offered to hold off the foe to try and give Goku and Vegeta more time for their plan

You whipped your head around fast to look at him, your hand gripping his arm tightly and lips parted with protest

But he didn't even flinch, gaze locked with Goku's as he subtly shook his head at you

The only reassurance you get in that moment is when he covers your hand with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze before taking your hand off of him

You're upset at him for the rest of the day after that, torn between wanting to yell at him or needing to cling to him

So you settled for both, grabbing his big pointy ear and yelling at him for making such a huge decision without you

As much as it hurt and was embarrassing for him to treated like this, some part of him was enjoying it(freak!!!!)

Your upset reaction just reminds him of how much you love him, and that's all his mind can focus on, tuning you out unintentionally

Suddenly, he's putting a hand over your mouth and staring at you with a fond expression before he leans in close as if sharing a precious secret with you

"I love you too, Y/N."

You're too confused and flustered to even realize that he's picking you up and carrying you to the bedrooms, your legs instinctively wrapping around him

You manage to pull away between kisses, blushing when he starts nibbling and kissing down your throat instead. You can't help but hit his back before guiding his lips back to yours

"We're finishing this conversation later..!"

Your husband only smirks at you and chuckles before going back in for a rough kiss, his sharp nails digging into your hips as he pins you down suddenly

Or there was the time that you were stuck with Frieza while everyone was preparing for another tournament, the frost demon seemingly taking an interest in you

You were trying to keep the peace and not pick a fight with the crazy tyrant so you held your tongue whenever he gave you a backhanded compliment

Which was difficult when Frieza insisted that you be his escort around Earth while he was there

"Oh my~ It's amazing to me that you can keep such a lovely physique when you eat like that~"

"Huh, I suppose it is true what they say! With great age comes even greater wisdom!"

"You're so brave for going out in public in that outfit!"

Even if you had never known all the horrible things Frieza had done to your husband and friends, you're sure you would hate him just the same for all his mean girl quips

But you held strong all the same, ignoring each dig with all the grace and patience you could muster

Until Frieza realized that you and Piccolo were an item, he just couldn't resist, Frieza had to say something when he saw you coax a quick kiss out of your husband

"Oh, how precious~ It would seem that beauty has tamed the great green beast-"

Only to end up shocked when you suddenly whipped around and slapped him hard across the mouth, it wasn't even the pain that got to him, just the audacity

"I have had enough of your smart comments! I don't care what you say about me but don't you dare talk about my husband or else I'll kill you myself!"

You're hitting Frieza repeatedly, emphasizing your point when suddenly Piccolo is throwing you over his shoulder and walking away

"Goku! I want you to rip his tail off for me so I can mount it on my wall! Right above the bed! Then I want you to-HEY!"

"Haha! Anything you say, Y/N!"

You gasp and finally look back as best you can, feeling your husband's fangs nipping the meat of your ass as he carries you away from a trembling Frieza

It probably looked like Piccolo was making a retreat with you to protect you from Frieza, but the reality of the situation was that he was turned on by how fiercely you protected him

Seeing you slowly become more and more annoyed with Frieza before suddenly snapping in a rage of sexy fury was just intoxicating for him. Even more so knowing he's the reason for the snap in the first place

Piccolo starts to wonder if he's got some Saiyan in him because the sight of you making such a powerful foe cower for even attempting to insult him shouldn't be so hot

You go from angry to embarrassed as your husband nuzzles where he bit you, hitting his back and kicking your legs, which only makes him more pleased

"Mm, what a fierce little wife I have..."

You can't help but shiver when he lets out an appreciative rumble, rubbing the back of your legs to calm your kicks as he opens the bedroom door

"It's natural for me to want to protect the man I love, especially from someone who's already hurt him far too much..."

Your soft, genuine tone and the way you grip the back of his cape is what does him in, tossing you down onto the bed and climbing on top of you in a way that could only be described as predatory

Somehow, in a drunken heavy fog of pleasure, you catch your husband mumbling something under his breath before diving back in to give you a bruising kiss, pushing his body flush against yours as if trying to fuse with you

"You're going to be death of me, I swear..."

You can only moan and dig your nails a little harder into his back, locking him against you with your legs around his hips

"Ha...if you die...take me with you..."

Those are only a few instances of Piccolo's melting for you, the reality of it is that there isn't a single day that goes by that Piccolo isn't getting some form of cuteness aggression because of you

And if it's not cuteness aggression, then he's straight up getting turned on

But it's not like you don't jump your husband's bones over little things too, you two were far too infatuated with each other not to

Piccolo is so obviously whipped for you that Chi-Chi and Bulma often whine about how jealous they are of your marriage

You can't help it though, you two are so ridiculously addicted to each other

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I really want the show to go into more detail about Husk's backstory as an overlord, partly because I feel like it's something the fandom is kinda glossing over and partly because it's lowkey one of the biggest obstacles that a Husk/Angel relationship would have into overcome.

'Loser Baby' emphasises the similarities between Angel and Husk's situations, but it also (probably deliberately, since Husk is the one leading it) brushes aside one of the most major differences between them.

Namely that when Husk tells Angel that he's not the only one who sold his soul, he's not just singing about himself.

Husk sold his soul to Alastor, yeah (or lost it at least, which amounts to the same thing), but he also traded in souls. He was that “psychopathic freak”, and was operating fro long enough to achieve Overlord status.

And, honestly? Having your soul owned by Husker back in the day probably sucked.

The one benefit of soul contracts for the person selling their soul is that they seem to get a fair amount of say in how the contract is written.

Angel's contract, for example, apparently has a clause stating that he's only under Valentino's jurisdiction when he's in the studio. (Which, btw, puts a whole other spin on why Val is so pissed when he moves out of studio accommodation and into the Hotel.) And Val is apparently bound to that. Even though he's pissed off and actively wants to put Angel in his place, he can't make any moves against him in the club.

Equally, since most overlords seem to be associated with a specific location/industry, you can generally choose who your working for and therefore roughly what kind of stuff you're gonna be doing.

In practice there seems to be a lot of manipulation and coercion going on on the part of the Overlords making these contracts— they're not fair by any means— but the sinners signing them are theoretically at least guaranteed the right to a (somewhat) informed choice and some control over the deals they make.

Having an Overlord who uses human souls to pay his gambling debts, however, completely undermines all that.

Imagine going into work for your job running the roulette games at the casino only to be told that the boss played a bad hand in a game with Valentino, and so you're a sex worker now.

Or being traded to someone who has you fighting turf wars for them, and realising that your contract doesn't have any clauses to protect your personal safety because you only signed up to be a bartender.

Or selling your soul for a job near your home and family so you can guarantee their protection, only to be traded to someone whose territory is on the other side of the pentagram.

Husk is a victim of his own addiction, yeah, which is one of the reasons why Angel relates to him. But his backstory implies that there must be a significant number of people out there who were also victims of Husk's addiction, and may not be as sympathetic. Dude basically owned other people as property (… we have a word for that) and then literally played games with their lives.

And like, I'm not saying he hasn't changed. He seems more empathetic on the show than his backstory would imply, and apart from anything else, he's had a pretty clear object lesson about what it's like to be on the receiving end of that sort of thing. (Ngl, I'm pretty sure one of the reasons Alastor keeps him around is because he's the type to find the irony amusing.)

But like, he's in this place where he can relate to Angel Dust's situation, while at the same time probably also being able to relate to Valentino and Alastor's perspectives (although I doubt he was quite as bad as Val to work for).

And I'm curious as to what would happen, later in the series, if the gang met someone who had sold their soul to Husk at one point. Someone who would also be able to relate to Angel's situation, but with Husk as their version of Valentino.

[propertyofwhitney67]

I JUST SAW THE EVENT POST OKK

My request: M!whitney with F!PC with like... Pregnancy/lactation content. I feel like Whitney would get so possessive over a pregnant PC. My idea is probably mixed with jealousy too tbh.

I imagine a PC that starts lactating in the middle of class, everyone starts making fun- before whitney jealously claims her in front of everyone by fucking her.

Let me know if it's too specific! Definetly take some liberties I like seeing what you might come up with :)

Attention Whore

Whitney x AFAB!Reader

Prompt event: Pregnancy and Lactation

Words: 914

Tw: Pregnancy, lactation, smut, public sex,

Note: I'm sorry this took so long, I hope it's ok <3

River’s lesson was practically putting me to sleep, the same boring trig shit. I didn’t understand any of it, and Whitney’s constant distractions didn’t help. I decided to give up a long time ago on it, it wasn’t like I was going to need it anyway.

Exhaustion was catching up with me, and this was only the second class of the day. This pregnancy was kicking my ass, I’m tired all the time, my breasts are sore, and so many other fucking things that I don’t even want to think about. I would curse Whitney, but he’d only say I was practically begging for it.

I moved my desk closer to Whitney and rested my head on his shoulder. He didn’t mind, looking down at me with a smirk, then going back to fucking around with his friends. At least he was ok with this whole thing. He was terrified at first, but he’s since come to terms with it and is sticking by my side.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because I was awoken by the sound of laughing. I tensed, opening my eyes to find River bracing himself against his desk and some students pointing at me. I looked up at Whitney for some kind of answer, but he wasn’t looking at me. His body was tense and he was staring down one of his friends. 

Lifting my head, I got a better understanding of what was happening. They were laughing at me, something about–oh fuck…Breast milk had soaked through my shirt, leaving wet spots. I immediately tried covering my chest before Whitney tossed me his jacket, hitting me in the face. I didn’t complain, putting on the jacket and watching him knock his friend to the ground. I assume they were the one to start this whole thing.

Normally River pulls them apart pretty quickly, but it seems he’s passed out. My lactation must have really gotten to him for some reason. The man faints too easily.

Whitney wasn’t holding back, really making sure to hurt the guy. The other guy got in a few punches too, but it was obvious Whitney was winning. I’m surprised how protective Whitney has become of me since I told him I was pregnant with his kid. I’m not complaining though, it’s nice. I also love seeing him covered in blood, so that's a plus.

Once he got out his anger, he turned to me with that look in his eyes. His nose was bleeding and his knuckles were bloody and starting to bruise. He pulled me out of the chair and to the ground, straddling my waist. “Whitney…?” I asked, somewhat afraid he was gonna do what I thought he was gonna do. Well, not afraid, more annoyed than anything.

“Quiet, slut.” He whispered in my ear, “I’m showing them who owns you.” He pulled up my shirt, exposing my breasts and baby bump. 

I hated the looks and whispers I’d get about my bump, they made me feel like some kind of common whore. It’s most noticeable when I’m naked or wearing tight clothes, so I do my best to hide it with baggy clothes, but that’s not always viable. 

He roughly squeezed my breast, causing me to gasp and more milk to leak out. I felt my face heat up at the cheers and shouting, “Fuck her!” “Make her cum!” “Make her beg!” “I want to see her cunt!” Their words only encouraged him more, flipping up my skirt and showing off my bare cunt. “Good girl.” He smirked, happy I was following the rules. 

I whined, my hormones betraying me. “Whitney…” Between the crude statements and Whitney’s touch, I could feel myself getting wet. I want–no, I need him to claim me in front of all these people.

“You’re such an attention whore.” Whitney chuckled, freeing his fat cock from his pants. He traced my slit with his cock, mixing his precum with my wetness. “So needy,” He pushed past my folds, resting the head of his cock against my tight hole. “So desperate for my cock to split you open in front of everyone.” He smirked down at me, squeezing my breast again. “Isn’t that what you want, slut?”

A small nod from me was all it took for him to roughly thrust inside my tight hole. “Fuck...” I moaned, his cock stretching me out perfectly.

He grunted in my ear, bottoming out inside me. “Fuck, you’re tight.” He set a fast but steady pace, easily hitting that perfect spot inside me every time.

My body was sensitive and it didn’t take long after that for him to pull an orgasm from me. “Whitney!” I moaned, wrapping my legs around his waist and digging my nails into his back. “Please…fuck…” I whined as he fucked me through my orgasm, searching for his own.

He grunted and with one last thrust he came, painting my fall white with his cum. “Fucking slut…” He groaned, resting his forehead against mine.

I tuned out all the shouting and camera shutters, smiling as I felt him rubbing my growing stomach with his thumb. “We should probably get out of here.” I whispered to Whitney. I was tired and needed a new shirt and I’m sure he doesn’t want to deal with River’s shit when he wakes up.

“Taking you back to my place,” He smirked, helping me up from the ground and fixing my clothes, “I’m not done with you yet.”

𝘔����𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

𝘒𝘰-𝘍𝘪

[spaceshipellie]

everything’s about you to me

ellie williams x reader

chapter two: this house is a graveyard

masterlist for other chapters *✧･ﾟ: wc: 3.7k

summary: in the midst of the apocalypse, you and ellie find each other after you’ve both lost everything. what started out as a mere safety in numbers pairing, turns into something imperishable. however, after some time you get separated, leaving you both to believe the other is dead. four years later you find a commune in wyoming.

warnings: tlou au, death, grief, burying a body, mentions of deceased loved ones, it’s sad sorry :( 18+ mdni

author’s note: i promise the next part will be less traumatic!!! it’s actually going to be very cute (i think anyway lmao) but back to this part!! thank you for all the love so far <3 lmk what you think

♪ ‘cause the world could be burning, and all i’d be thinking, is “how are you doing, baby?”

The sky was a mottled grey overhead as the three of you walked along the rural road. Nearly an hour had passed since the diner but conversations were minimal. From Ellie at least, who was reluctant to share much about herself. It was understandable, you wouldn’t be in a rush to share your life with people you had only just met. The time had allowed you to observe her though. She was wearing a blue button up with the sleeves ripped off and a grey t-shirt underneath, jeans, and converses which matched your own. Her hair was short and roughly tied up in a half up, half down.

You couldn’t help but ponder the reasons as to why she might be alone. She must have been about your age and the thought of being alone terrified you so you couldn’t imagine what she might have been through. Did she have a family? Friends? Where was she going before she met you? All of these questions swirled around your brain but you thought better of bombarding her with them. She seemed lost and forlorn and you didn’t want to do anything to upset her. Your attention was diverted when you heard coughing.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” your mom said, wiping her hand over her mouth. She then pointed up ahead to a farmhouse in the distance. “We should head towards that.”

You nodded and looked over at Ellie who looked back at you. Her lips tightened into a line as she nodded slowly. You prayed that you wouldn't find anything too terrible. Looking at the place, it almost seemed too good to be true. You mentally prepared for the possibility it was either already taken by someone or was hoarding a bunch of infected. Both of which had the opportunity to kill you.

It was another fifteen minutes before you reached the farmhouse. On approach you couldn’t hear anything, but you all cautioned yourselves as you moved towards the front door. Your mom, who insisted on going first, slowly pushed the door open with her foot, gun pointing forward. You gripped your bat and Ellie held the crowbar.

The door creaked as it opened, and eventually a jangle of cans came from above your heads. You winced at the noise, clearly set up by someone as an alarm. Nothing happened though. You relaxed your shoulders slightly as you moved further down the hall. Most of the doors were open giving you a peek at the kitchen-diner on the left side and a living room on the other.

“I’ll check upstairs,” Ellie said, shuffling past you.

You and your mom checked the downstairs rooms, each time meeting each other in the hallway and declaring nobody there. Ellie then returned downstairs.

“Anything?” You asked.

“No, all clear.”

A bang caused all of your heads to face the kitchen. You shared hesitant glances before slowly edging in that direction. It must be outside, you thought, because the kitchen was definitely empty. Your mom slowly turned the back door handle and again, pushed it open with her foot, gun looking left to right. The same noise sounded again.

“The barn,” you whispered.

The closer you got the clearer you could hear heavy breathing. It didn’t really sound like infected but why would a person be banging on a barn wall. You all slipped through the half open door, silence falling. You scanned over the room quickly.

“There doesn’t seem to be any–oh my god!” You involuntarily stepped back, accidentally bumping into Ellie. Your mom and Ellie both followed your eyes to the far corner.

“Shit.”

A man hung from a wooden beam with a rope tight around his neck. A wooden stool lay on its side on the floor beneath him. You only had a moment to take it in before the bang came again from what you now knew to be a stable door. It was followed by another rumbly deep breath. Ellie went over and slowly unbolted the door. A pinto horse with chestnut patches dashed out, neighing wildly and bucking.

“Woah, woah, easy,” Ellie soothed. Her hand came to touch its neck and the horse seemed to calm down ever so slightly. It was still very fidgety and loud but didn’t seem like it was going to run off as Ellie was now stroking its neck. You were amazed at what effect she seemed to be having on the distressed animal. You noticed something white had fallen to the ground after the door had swung open so you went over to pick it up.

“This guy left a note.”

“What does it say?”

“To whoever finds this, I’m sorry that you’re still alive in this fucked up world. If it’s any consolation, I have a pretty decent farmhouse here. Don’t get too many infected unless you go further than a few miles. There’s some food in the cupboards, ammo, first aid stuff. You should be alright here for some time if you’re smart. If you run out of stuff, there’s a town about six miles east. Though I can’t guarantee what’s left of it. And please take care of my horse, Harley. She’s a beaut and I know I’m a coward for leaving her on her own but I couldn't take it anymore. Good luck and thank you. - Jack.”

“God,” your mom breathed.

“Shit’s messed up,” Ellie said.

“Yeah,” you nodded, looking over at Jack's hanging body. “We should cut him down. Maybe bury him. The least we can do when he’s giving us his house.”

The other’s nodded. You walked over to him and picked up the stool, steadying it to stand on. You stood on the stool, your mom warning you to be careful as you reached up to cut the rope. You could see his face clearly now. His brown eyes were open and his face was sunken. His hair was matted and he was wearing muddy, navy overalls. The decomposing smell was faintly running up your nostrils. Judging by it though, he couldn’t have been dead for too long otherwise it would have been difficult to stomach.

You tried to hurry your sawing at the rope until eventually it snapped and his body hit the ground with a heavy thud. You wobbled as you dismounted the stool, searching around for a shovel. You wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. You spotted one in the corner and grabbed it before purposely walking out the barn door and round to the side of it, throwing down the shovel. Marching back in, you saw Ellie had already started to grab his arms and your mom went to grab his legs before she dropped them, doubling over in a coughing fit.

“Let me,” you said, taking his legs.

You and Ellie carried him out to where you had dropped the shovel and placed him down. You grabbed the shovel and started digging, haphazardly tossing the soil into a large pile. The atmosphere was gloomy and solemn. No one spoke as you kept digging, pausing to wipe your forehead, smearing mud on it.

“Want me to take over?” Ellie offered.

“No,” you said, a little too abruptly, “it’s okay.”

Flashes of your dad’s lifeless body cursed your mind as you ignored the ache in your arms. The way it had fallen in a bloody heap and there was nothing you could do. No way for you to reach out and touch him or tell him goodbye. Tell him everything will actually be fine and you can find him a doctor. Tell him thank you for keeping you safe. You could never go back and change your last moments with him and it killed you.

“Honey, I think that’s enough,” your mom’s voice was mellow yet concerned as she looked down at you.

She helped you out of the deep grave you had dug and you wiped your hands on your jeans, staring down at the empty pit. You and Ellie resumed holding Jack's arms and legs as you lowered him in, letting him drop the last little bit as you couldn’t reach. You looked at his face one last time, letting out a deep breath before picking up the shovel again and piling all of the dirt back in. By the time you were done, the wind had picked up and it howled around you.

“We should go inside, I’ll go and check that the horse is tied up,” Ellie excused herself as you and your mom made your way back towards the back door of the house.

“I’m gonna go upstairs” your mom said before making her way up there.

You looked around the kitchen, wringing your hands together. The last twenty-four hours had been a shit show and you could do with some peace now that you had found this place. You dumped your backpack and jacket on the dining table and started rummaging through the cupboards, remembering how the note had said there was food. Your eyes brightened upon seeing stacks of cans filled right up to the front. What a gold mine, you thought. You heard the floorboards at the top of the stairs creak.

“Hey, look at all this, isn’t it–” you turned excitedly with a can of ravioli in your hand, but your smile faltered when you saw your mom’s face. Her eyes damp and bloodshot.

“What is it?”

“Honey, I–” her voice cracked. You put the can down.

“Mom?”

“Honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know until I…” her voice was strangled as she gestured upstairs.

Ellie then came through the door and stopped in her tracks as she noticed the tension in the room.

“Mom, tell me. Please.”

She cleared her throat.

“I was bit.”

Her words punctured a hole right through you, a lump forming in your throat.

“No, no, no, no,” your words got more rapid and desperate. This can’t be happening.

“W-where?”

Your mom pulled her top away from her shoulder and turned to show the gruesome bite mark on the back of it. You saw how the blood had run from it, some of it fresh, some of it dry.

“I wasn’t sure if it was just an injury or what until I looked in the mirror.”

She pulled her top back up and faced you again. You were crying, silently. In fact, the silence in the entire room was deafening.

“Please don’t leave me.” Your voice was hushed and weak. Your mom walked over and cupped your cheeks, brushing a tear away with her thumb.

“My baby, I’m so sorry.”

No one said anything for a moment, you just cried as she hugged you.

“I do not want to turn into one of those things and hurt you.”

You pulled back to look at her, eyes darting between hers.

“So what…w-what do you mean?”

“I mean,” she took in a shaky breath, “I’m going to take care of it myself,” her voice cracked and a sad smile stretched her lips and she nodded as if she was convincing herself.

“No,” you whispered, pulling her in for a bone crushingly tight hug.

“It’s better this way,” she said as she rubbed your back, “I’m going to take my gun, you still have plenty others here, and I’m going to walk as far as I can make it and you are not going to look for me.”

“I can’t–it’s not fair,” your voice was lost in her hair.

“I know it’s not, but hey, look at me,” she brushed your hair away from your face.

“You’re going to be okay, you hear me? You’re going to stay here, in this house, together,” she looked at Ellie as she said the last word before looking back at you. You tried to speak but she shook her head so she could finish.

“I need to know that you’ll do that for me, and that you’ll stay safe, okay?” She hugged you again, “promise me, baby.”

“I promise.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, mom.”

“You’ll be okay.”

She gave you a final squeeze and pulled away.

“I probably don’t have long left so…” she dizzily looked around for her gun.

Your body involuntarily moved towards her but you stopped yourself. You couldn’t stop this. Nothing could. She coughed again and you could see her hands twitching. She shook out all the bullets from her gun except for two. You could tell she was trying her hardest to keep it together, but she could never fool you. The fear was making her face seem hollow and cold. Her fingers trembled as they clutched the gun. She looked at you one last time before leaving out the back door and that was the last time you ever saw her.

Ellie could see how your body was about to crumble and she moved quickly to grab you as you fell down to your knees. She knelt beside you and held your shaking body. Her chin rested on your shoulder and your eyes left wet patches on hers. It felt like the air had been knocked out of you. Everything you’d ever known was gone.

Even with everything you were feeling right now you felt guilty that this girl you’d only just met had to deal with you like this. But you were grateful she was there.

She stayed there until you were ready to pull away, revealing your bloodshot eyes and cracked lips. You slumped back against the counter and Ellie sat with her arms wrapped around her bent knees. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and her eyes looked glossy as she stared at the ground. Your head ached from the crying and your face felt swollen.

“I don’t know what to do,” your voice squeaked. She took a minute to answer and her jaw clenched.

“You can’t do anything,” she mumbled, defeatedly.

It was getting darker by the minute. The haunting silence was only disrupted by a moth tapping against the ceiling. You felt overwhelmed with groggy tiredness but equally you couldn’t switch your brain off. Normally you would go to bed thinking about what to do the next day but now, you didn’t care. You couldn’t think of anything to care about.

“Maybe we should try and get some sleep,” Ellie suggested. You just nodded, slowly.

Ellie got up and left the room and you heard her lock the front door, she came back in to grab a chair and propped one under the front door and one under the back door handle just in case the locks were dodgy. She also went round closing all the curtains and checking that all of the windows were shut. Meanwhile, you sat on the kitchen floor, feeling like a ghost. She grabbed as much stuff from the table as she could including half of your things before you willed yourself up onto your feet to grab the rest. At the top of the stairs, Ellie turned to you.

“Which one do you want?”

You looked at the two bedrooms and just pointed at one of them, not really analysing it. She went in and dropped off the stuff that was yours.

“Thanks.”

“S’okay.”

She went into the other room and put her stuff down whilst you put your gun and bat near your bed. You sighed a withered sigh as you looked around the room. It had a double bed which was made up with a duvet and pillows. It had a mirrored dresser on one wall and a wardrobe on the other. The furniture looked like it hadn’t been updated for several decades before the outbreak. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls in places and framed paintings of the countryside adorned them. It was a gift that you had found this place but it was a hard one to appreciate right now. Ellie came out of her room and leant her hand on the bannister.

“Um, goodnight then I guess.”

“Yeah,” you awkwardly bit your lip, “goodnight.”

Your head still pounded with the number of tears that had been shed over the past two weeks. It felt like you were going insane. You had mostly stayed cooped up in your room, not knowing how to handle the grief. Thankfully, due to the supplies that had already been in the house you hadn’t needed to go for a supply run yet. Ellie had left you alone, not wanting to interfere. The few times you had bumped into her there was a strained tension between you. You weren’t surprised considering this was an unusual circumstance for meeting someone new, but you felt strange about it nonetheless and hoped that in time, it would ease. After all, you were supposedly stuck together for the foreseeable future.

Up until this point you had been feeling a great sorrow where your whole body ached and you could barely tell that the days were passing. Now, however, you were entering a state of numbness, a complete disconnect from what was around you. It was as if the world had been chipping away at you piece by piece all these years and this had been the last hit before you had declined into nothing.

On the first night you had looked through the bedroom draws and had found some spare clothes to sleep in. You and Ellie had also managed to wash your own clothes with some rainwater you had collected and some soap you found in the bathroom. It hadn’t necessarily made them squeaky clean but it was better than nothing. It had also been relieving to have been able to clean your skin for the first time in a while. You were sitting on the bed with your knees bunched up against your chest and your cheek resting on them, eyes trailing over some of the pictures on the wall.

You sighed, pulling yourself up from the bed and slumping over to the mirrored dresser. Your devoid expression stared back at you. Your hair had been messed around from lying against the pillow for so long so you feebly attempted to tidy it before faltering towards the stairs. The floorboards at the top creaked under your weight and your hand gripped the bannister tightly, as if you would fall if you let go. With trembling steps, you made your way down and peeked through the open living room door. Ellie was slouching on the couch looking at a piece of crumpled paper.

“What’s that?” Your voice croaked so you coughed to clear it.

Her head shot to you as she was caught off guard by your presence. “Looks like instructions on how to get to the town.”

You shuffled over and sat beside her so you could see. She handed it to you, using her now free hands to rub her tired eyes. You observed the scribbles on the paper. It featured a roughly drawn map of squares and arrows, labelled with things like ‘road on the big hill’ and ‘supermarket.’

“Will be worth a try in a few days, we’re probably still alright for now,” she suggested. You nodded, putting the map down on the coffee table.

You picked at your hands in your lap, not knowing what to say. You and Ellie hadn’t said much to each other since you got here, events having not really allowed for it. You realised that you knew next to nothing about her. About her life, where she had come from, why she had saved you. Your eyes trailed down to the bandage on her right arm again.

“What happened to your arm?”

She immediately placed her left hand over it as if she was embarrassed or covering something up. “Oh, I uh, I got stabbed.”

You drew in a short breath. “Ouch.”

“Yeah,” she looked down at her arm, “it was pretty bad.”

Your sleeves were pushed up and she noticed you had a scar on your elbow.

“How did you get that?” She asked, gesturing to it. You lifted your arm, twisting it to look.

“Oh, that was from,” a puff of air escaped your nose, “it’s stupid and not as cool sounding as yours, I fell out of a tree trying to get a closer look at a bluebird.”

“Wow,” she snickered, “hope the look was worth it.”

“It was,” you looked down into your lap, running your hand over your arm, “you don’t come across many pretty things like that.”

You didn’t notice her looking at you when you spotted something behind the slightly open door of the cabinet the TV was resting on. You got up and crouched beside it, pulling the items out.

“CDs,” you mused to yourself, shuffling through them. Foo Fighters, Jimi Hendrix, Eagles, Tracy Chapman, Nirvana, Dolly Parton, Nickelback, and a few others.

“Too bad I can’t find the CD player,” Ellie remarked.

“Hm. It must be somewhere,” you said, fixing the pile of CDs, leaving them out on the coffee table as a reminder to look for the CD player. You stayed sitting on the floor, leaning on one of your hands and glanced around. You hadn’t really been in this room much. By the window was where the cabinet and TV sat then opposite was the dusty blue couch with a couple of limp throw cushions on. The walls were off white and much like upstairs, were covered in framed paintings. The windowsill was thick with dust and the moth-eaten curtains floated with the light breeze that was coming in from the open window.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where were you going before you came with us?”

Ellie stretched her hands and placed them on her knees, shuffling in her seat.

“Uh, nowhere really.”

“You didn’t have to be so nice to me that night, so thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

She looked down at the ground with squinted eyes, her head shaking a little.

“Well, I want to,” you murmured softly, “you’d barely just met me and not a lot of people would have been that way.”

You looked up at her but she wasn’t looking at you, almost as if it would hurt her to do so.

taglist *✧･ﾟ: @bellasfavelesbo @ximtiredx @abbyily @heartzjules @gold-dustwomxn @sawaagyapong @aouiaa @pinkigirl @nil-eena @ucannotcompare @cherriesxinthespring @blvebanisters @lonelyfooryouonly @ellieslegalwife @carmellie @iheartgeto @faceache111 @lveunoialv @jajsnjz @simpforellie @frickfrack-paddywack-ukulel-blog @unicycl @cass00x @lizziee-williamss1 @muthafuckingstargirl @kattirin @corpsebridenightamare

[cherienymphe]

When The Party’s Over XXII (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Warnings: NON-CON (fingering + mentions of), DUB-CON, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (alluded to), forced pregnancy, toxic relationship, violence, jealousy, stalking, underage drinking, drug use, manipulation, public sex, innocent reader, Heyward!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies​ | divider by @silkholland​​

➥ series masterlist

summary: Manipulated into a secret relationship with Rafe Cameron, you’re finding it much easier said than done to do the right thing and walk away…especially when he refuses to let you.

~

“Oh, isn’t that pretty?”

Rose was excited enough for everyone present, oohing and aahing over every gift you opened. You knew it was coming eventually, but the surprise baby shower had thrown you into an emotional storm for more reasons than one. Your hands shook as you held the fancy breast pump, but it wasn’t because you were excited or even nervous as the reality of your approaching due date was placed before you.

It was because of the familiar hand tracing patterns into your shoulder.

You were surrounded by family and friends and not-so-friends, and at a moment where you should’ve been somewhat happy and at least a little excited, you were terrified. You were a little too aware of the way your wrist throbbed as you studied the box, and you swallowed as it was gently taken out of your hands and replaced with another gift.

“Open this one next, beautiful.”

The term of endearment unsettled you, as it had as of late, and you did as Rafe said. Rose was even more excited about the baby carrier, your mom joining in too, and you plastered a tense smile onto your face. You could feel eyes on you, and you didn’t even need to look up to know that it was Pope, his dark eyes no doubt drinking in the way Rafe hovered over you.

Asking your brother to basically just accept the life you would be sharing with your rapist was a lot. You knew that, but at the time, you and Rafe hadn’t been anything then. You and Rafe had been over, and it was supposed to stay that way until either of you died. Now, however…

You shuddered at the feel of Rafe’s hand sliding to your neck.

Should you have been surprised to find yourself afraid of Rafe in the same capacity that you once had? Probably not. Deep down you’d always had this overwhelming dread that he’d get everything he wanted from you, and yet, you’d still woken up in shock that morning after Rafe raped you…again.

Rafe had woken up long before you, and when you’d finally roused, you’d been alone in the bed. It hadn’t taken you long to remember what had happened, seemingly frozen in shock when Rafe stepped out of the bathroom. His words had gone in one ear and out the other as you’d stared up at the ceiling. You hadn’t ignored him on purpose, just too stunted by the less than pleasant memories of what your relationship had been like when it was bad.

Everything had started looking too familiar, and you’d started crying before you knew it.

“Don’t touch me,” you’d snapped as Rafe had reached for you.

It hadn’t worked, of course, only crying harder when he placed his hands on your arms.

“Do. Not. Touch-.”

“Hey, hey,” he’d spat, hands tightening on your arms. “Did you really think I’d just let us go on like this forever? Huh?”

He’d gently shaken you, but it was enough to make your eyes widen. You had stared into his eyes, the sunlight glinting off the blue of them through the window as the morning crawled along. You’d still been naked, sheet clinging to you and the scent of Rafe clinging to your skin. Your lips had been trembling, and Rafe had reached up to wipe them, brushing tears away that had collected there.

You hadn’t responded, and Rafe had roughly exhaled through his nose, moving closer.

“You made your point,” he’d quietly said. “You punished me, but you’ll be having this baby sooner than you think, and his parents should be together when he’s born.”

You’d looked away, starting to shake your head when Rafe continued.

“It’s cute you think you have a say-.”

“Get off of me,” you’d choked out, pushing against him.

“…and if I don’t?”

You’d stilled, holding his challenging gaze.

“What are you going to do?”

You’d opened and closed your mouth, struggling to find something to say.

“Sarah won’t-.”

“What is Sarah going to do? Hmm? What could she possibly do to me?”

“Ward…”

You’d trailed off when Rafe chuckled, it was a mocking sound, and it made you feel worse.

“Why are you so sure he’d support you over me?”

The question had stumped you for a moment before your frown had deepened.

“You’re a rapist…and Ward barely liked you as is,” you’d whispered.

Rafe had only tilted his head, staring at you for a terrifyingly long time.

“…and you’re the nothing girl from The Cut who used Ward Cameron’s only son to secure a future.”

His words had made your heart drop, chest clenching painfully. He’d continued before you’d even had a chance to say anything.

“Or…at least, that was what I had to convince my dad you aren’t.”

You’d blinked, more tears springing forth.

“Say what you want about my dad, but I told you, he’s not going to let you drag this family through the mud…”

You’d shifted, trying to move away, but Rafe wouldn’t let you.

“He knows we’re not perfect, but he’d paint you out to be a sleazy opportunist before ever letting you tell this whole island that about his only son.”

When Rafe had let you go, your arms ached, and you’d tearfully watched him stand. Rafe had heaved a sigh before moving to the closet, searching through your clothes.

“Rose is making breakfast for you, so you should probably start getting ready.”

You hadn’t been able to speak out against your long-dreaded reality coming down on you, barely holding tears in as Rafe had run you some bath water. Just like you were holding tears in, now as you smiled at all your friends and family during your baby shower. You had wanted all of Pope and Sarah’s friends to be present too, but unfortunately, both Ward and Rose had sided with Rafe on that.

Kiara was only present because of who her parents were, the two of them in attendance too.

You hadn’t even made the guest list, and as you rested your hand on your rounded stomach, you wondered of this was what your future looked like. A life full of decisions that weren’t yours to make despite the close effect they’d have on you.

You could feel Rafe’s chin resting on the top of your head as he leaned over you, watching you open another gift. His fingers were tracing patterns into your skin, and you tried to ignore his presence altogether with no such luck. Everyone oohed at the nightlight, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, feeling the baby in you move around just as Rafe pressed a kiss into your hair.

“A home birth? That’s cute, honey, but we’re not some hippie family that only eats vegan food and wears crystals around our necks,” Rose chuckled, flipping through a magazine with a nursery on the front. “You’ll have a safe birth in the hospital, surrounded by the best doctors and nurses with us at your side.”

You deeply exhaled, and you had another stray thought of feeling…suffocated.

You absentmindedly rubbed your wrist, looking away from her. Rose was just excited, as was Ward, but the regression of your relationship with Rafe was making it all a bit bitter to the taste. You hadn’t had much say in this from the beginning, and maybe you’d just kidded yourself into thinking you had, but it was evident now more than ever that you hadn’t.

You glanced up, eyes meeting Sarah’s from across the room, and you quickly looked away.

You knew that the dynamic change between you and Rafe was obvious, and Sarah would have to be stupid not to notice. You could feel her eyes on you as your feet rested in Rafe’s lap, the blond man rubbing them. It wasn’t something you would’ve decided on, Rafe forcing you to sit sideways before you’d had a chance to say anything.

You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how good it felt.

You also weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much he was helping with your hormones. Even if it was against your will. Although, he already knew if the way you came around him was anything to go by. It made you hate yourself more than you’d already started to, feeling like you were just giving up. Maybe you were in a way, but the memory of Rafe cornering you in the hallway last night was fresh.

It seemed that Rafe really had just been waiting until you couldn’t fight back like you’d been able to before.

Rafe no longer kept his distance during the day, sneaking into your room during the night when everyone else was asleep. He didn’t care, now, and why would he? What could Sarah possibly do to him? Why would Rose or Ward protest against what looked like a reconciliation?

“You haven’t said anything to Pope, have you?”

Sarah gave you a look at that hours later as she helped fix you a snack.

“…and have him storming over here? No, but he’s not stupid. He was at the baby shower with the rest of us.”

She stopped what she was doing, turning to look you over with concern in her eyes. You could see the question all over her face, and she roughly exhaled.

“What’s going on? Are you two…?”

She trailed off, seemingly unable to voice her thoughts. She was quiet for a moment before running her hand through her hair.

“Is he hurting you?”

You considered telling Sarah the truth but thought about what it could even change. It wouldn’t stop Rafe, and if Sarah tried to stop Rafe, there was no telling what he would do. At the most, it would just make Sarah upset and force her to be in the know about something she couldn’t change. It seemed cruel, and so you shook your head.

“No,” you lied, and you didn’t know if she could tell you were lying. “He’s just…trying.”

She rolled her eyes at that, and you continued when she finished what she was doing.

“It’s true,” you murmured. “God knows I hate him, but he does actually care about this baby even if I hate to accept it.”

That was something you still struggled with.

How could Rafe be so horrible to you and use this baby against you while caring about him so much? You knew what the answer was, and you didn’t know if you found it sad in a pathetic way or in the traditional sense. Rafe’s strained relationship with Ward was no secret, the older man’s disappointment obvious even if Rafe had never confided in you.

His son was going to be his second chance to have the father and son relationship he never got.

Sometimes you wished that Rafe was just pure evil, and the devil incarnate so it would be easier to just write him off as a cruel asshole and be done with it. The unfortunate truth was that Rafe was complicated, damaged, and it made for the most confusing feelings because you were going to be starting a family with him, so obviously you wanted him to be better for the sake of your son. On the other hand, though, you were sure that seeing Rafe improve and be better and find happiness in that maturity would piss you off beyond belief.

A large part of you wanted him to suffer.

“If he was hurting you again…you would tell me, right?”

Sarah’s question pulled you from your thoughts, and your gaze met hers. She looked so worried, and your heart sank as you lied to her again, nodding. She still looked unsure, but eventually moved on with the conversation while you guiltily stared at the trail mix before you.

You stared at your hands as Rafe talked, his voice hardly anything but a soft hum of background noise as you studied the way your fingers were starting to prune. You were much bigger, now, and it was embarrassingly harder to clean yourself as well as you used to. Even if you had wanted to ask Sarah and push your friendship into a territory of no return, Rafe had forced your hand.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before,” he’d told you that first night, unmoved by the tears of frustration in your eyes. “…and you’d really rather risk taking a nasty fall or pulling something rather than just let me help you?”

He’d played a card you hadn’t been able to argue against, and angrily, you’d spat at him to turn around. It was humiliating, even more so when you thought about the fact that Rafe had you right where he wanted you; helpless and relying on him. It was a dream come true for him, and you poked at the bubbles in the water.

You looked up when Rafe moved, the blond sitting on the edge of the jacuzzi style tub.

“Did you hear a word I said?”

You sank further into the bubbles, warily eyeing him as his own eyes failed to meet yours. They were too busy roaming over the tops of your shoulders, the only thing really visible.

“No, I didn’t,” you honestly told him.

You were met with a sigh.

“I was saying that I think it would be better if we roomed together with him. You’ll need all the rest you can get, and I’m a lighter sleeper than you are. I can feed him in the middle of the night,” he suggested.

The swoon worthy words made you want to be sick considering who they were coming from. Again, Rafe’s genuine care for your son made you feel a confusing cocktail of emotions, and you frowned.

“Don’t we practically do that, now, anyway?”

You were referring to Rafe’s constant assaults, and your narrowed eyes met his mocking ones.

“Yeah, well, I’m trying to be nice and talk to you about it instead of just making you.”

“Why? It’s never stopped you before…”

Rafe said your name, a warning in his tone, and you didn’t look at him.

“Just stop pretending to be something you’re not,” you murmured, and Rafe’s silence was loud.

You could feel his eyes on you, and when you looked up, you found that you were right. If you didn’t know any better, you would say that your words hurt him, but then you forced yourself not to care. Rafe didn’t have a right to feel hurt. He couldn’t just do the odd, nice thing here and there while being the worst person you knew. He couldn’t rub your feet and massage your shoulders and moisturize your stomach all the while pinning you down every night and fucking you until he was spent.

“Would you rather I just be an asshole all the time?”

“Yes,” you answered without hesitation. “…because at least then I’d know what to expect.”

Rafe didn’t reply right away, but when he did, your heart sank.

“Even to him?”

You pressed your lips together, refusing to look at him.

“What is it my dad’s always saying? Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face or something like that?”

“Fuck you,” you whispered.

Rafe splashed some water in your face, and you slapped his arm. He was quick to grab your wrist, making you wince, and you tearfully glared at him. You stared at each other for too long, and you were almost afraid of what Rafe would do, now, but he simply stood and reached for your other hand.

“Your water is cold.”

You shivered as he helped you out, wrapping your arms around yourself just as he wrapped the towel around you. Moments like these reminded you of times when your relationship was good, innocent, but then you liked to remind yourself that it never was. Rafe hadn’t had the best of intentions from the start, as he’d confessed to you, and sometimes it was enough to bring tears to your eyes.

Rafe adjusted the nightgown on you as it slipped over you, looking you over. Rose had bought it, and as much as the woman irritated you, you did find it in yourself to be grateful to her. Even though it wasn’t for entirely selfless reasons, she still doted on you.

“Sit,” Rafe murmured, and you did.

You braced yourself, still never quite prepared for the feel of Rafe’s hands on you as he moisturized you, always starting at your feet. You shuddered when his skin met yours, and you could feel his gaze on you.

“I want to make something clear,” he softly started, and you frowned.

When you looked down at him, he wasn’t looking at you, now, blue eyes focused on your legs and the oil that he rubbed into them.

“I won’t hesitate to do what I need to keep you with me… You know that…”

He looked up then, eyes connecting with yours, and you swallowed. His dirty blond strands grazed his forehead as he gazed up at you from beneath his lashes.

“Right…?” he pressed when you didn’t say anything, and you gave a shaky nod.

He exhaled, looking back down again.

“Good. So…you know that means I’ll do the unthinkable, right?”

You frowned, not quite understanding what he meant, and a feeling of dread twisted deep into your gut. Something else twisted within you too as Rafe’s fingers kneaded into your skin, making their way up your legs.

“I don’t…”

You shook your head as you trailed off, confused. You jumped when his fingers grazed the inside of your thigh, too close to the last place you wanted them to be, and when you dug your nails into his hands, Rafe pretended like he didn’t feel a thing. You gasped when his fingers brushed over you, gliding over your folds and pressing into you.

You tried to stop him, but Rafe didn’t care, focused on pushing a finger into you. You sharply exhaled at the feel, clenching around him and gritting your teeth. His other hand came up to rest on your stomach, his occupied one adding another finger, curling into you and massaging your walls. You sank your teeth into your lip, pushing at both of his hands, but he softly shushed you.

“I don’t want you getting any ideas once this baby comes…”

You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting the urge to buck your hips against his hand. You hated how easily your body relaxed under the ministrations, greedily sucking him in, and Rafe hummed.

“…because I won’t hesitate to snatch him from your hands.”

Your eyes flew open at that, looking down at him in alarm, fighting to focus on his words. Rafe held your gaze, face entirely serious as he fingered you, the corner of his lips turning up into a sneer.

“I’ll take him from you, and you’ll never see him again.”

“Rafe,” you gasped, horrified, trying to push his hand away.

“Do you understand?”

Your eyes watered, and you struggled to swallow, fighting against the orgasm that was building. You looked at him, hoping that he was joking or at the most, just trying to scare you, but something in his eyes told you that he was entirely serious. Against your will, tears spilled over, and Rafe was quiet as he waited for a response.

You sniffed, nodding your head.

“I u-understand,” you shakily told him, lips falling open as he pushed you over the edge.

Your nails dug into the sheets as you came, struggling remain sitting up. You faltered, leaning back a little, and when Rafe pulled his fingers out of you, he pushed you onto your back. The high was starting to wear off when the full weight of his words settled, and you started crying again.

[runespoor7]

If WWX knocked up cis girl!JC, what do you think would happen if JC didn't abort/the baby was carried to full term? How would that change things?

Two thoughts. One, “that depends when.” Two, “oh, this is bad.”

cut for length

the start:

The version that’s most different from canon is this: what I mean by “this is bad” is that if JC gets pregnant before WWX breaks away from the sect and she keeps it, she tells him. And then they get married. WWX is super duper unwell! It shows! It’s constant whiplash between WWX being all over her + whispering promises to her belly and WWX seemingly barely standing to be in the same room as her, much less look at her or sleep in her bed. Not to mention he’s still doing exactly as little as before they got married and is if possible getting even drunker. 

And then shit goes down - and there’s absolutely no way JYL and JZX got married in this timeline, not with JC marrying WWX, so here shit 100% does not involve WWX being thought not to be part of YMJ anymore. The chances of WWX getting killed in a Jin ambush because he’s made himself an issue to them are pretty high. If that happens, no way YMJ gets away from WWX’s death without at least being painted as accomplices; at best they’d have to pay reparations. Depending on how JGS makes his move, maybe YMJ gets straight up cornered with demands that they give up the Seal/the Wens WWX might have broken out, and there’s a war. Basically it’s a very bad time all around.

The least-bad possibility is the most-like-canon-one, which is that WWX and JC hooked up miserably when WWX was in the Burial Mounds, after WWX had dumped JC– I mean after WWX left Lotus Pier.

JC learns she’s pregnant only around/after Zixuan’s death, maybe even after JYL’s death! Not a good time to tell WWX about it! Ideally she only realizes she’s pregnant after WWX’s death. Denial of pregnancy doing us a solid amidst the months of trauma and getting us to the end point of JC having a kid. This is the ideal time for JC to be pregnant with WWX’s child because the outer conflict is minimal. All the conflict is internal, it’s about her feelings. 

In this scenario, she hides the pregnancy for a few months, secludes herself for a few months more - maybe she has to use her grief for her sister’s death as an excuse. I think in this case Madam Jin probably comes over to Lotus Pier with baby Jin Ling, to take care of JC. I don’t think JC can successfully hide from Madam Jin that she’s pregnant, despite her disciples and her doctors doing their best. I also think it’s *pretty damn unavoidable* that Madam Jin guesses who the father is.

JC is proud, so proud; but she’s not proud enough not to beg when the truth would ruin her sect. There’s probably JL asleep in someone’s arms. Madam Jin agrees to keep the secret.

JC won’t marry but she also cannot be having a child on her own, so her child is introduced as an orphan taken in by the sect; probably the child of a disciple killed during the Siege. YunmengJiang ends up taking in roughly half a dozen children, from newborn to children almost old enough to start training as disciples, in the aftermath, their mothers insisting the fathers were disciples of the Jiang. It might even be true. It’s not such a light cost that the sect’s budget doesn’t need to be reworked to accommodate for these new expenses, but it’s such a good cover for JC’s child that she shoulders the rumors of her soft heart gladly.

A consequence of this choice: JGY is, in fact, very well-disposed toward JC, personally. JC still faces shades of rebuke and ridicule at the first conference after she starts taking in “disciple orphans”, but she bites out that she’s honoring her disciples’ debts and making certain her disciples will be honored by their children. That gets NMJ pretty firmly looking at her with new eyes. That *is* an honorable, brave decision from Sect Leader Jiang. So the Jiang Sect is less isolated shortly after WWX’s death than in canon. 

I don’t think this changes anything to NMJ’s death, and JGY himself is careful not to seem overly close to an unmarried woman for fear of any hint of scandal, but in the longer term YMJ probably enjoys more cordial bonds with GusuLan. (LXC too looks kindly upon taking in war orphans! and he does have a brother, at home, who brought one back…)*

*(you could seamlessly weave in timeskip zhancheng through the honored means of LWJ hating on JC for daring to parade around as though she was an honorable sect leader, when she turned her back on her shixiong, and the equally honored means of bonding over children. LXC would totally be up to meddling by organizing playdates between A-Yuan and the YMJ kids. LWJ would be scaldingly angry at him once he finds out, though, so it would be up to A-Yuan to ask to see JL and the others again. LWJ would insist on being there; JC would look at LWJ as though judging him for his anger. I’m not saying they’d have to fuck but they might. Even if they don't, bonding over being left with children by WWX’s death. No way LWJ would get to know whose kid JC’s heir apparent is, though.

But I don't think I want to bring in LWJ for this one.)

the timeskip:

What I want to do is focus on JC and how complicated the situation wrt the kids would be for her. And while I'm at it, I'm tired of playing hide the gender with the kid, so let's say she has a daughter, because mdzs “male by default” stance on the juniors was really annoying to me.

JC’s daughter is almost the same age as JC’s nephew, so it makes sense for JC to single that one child out; people think it’s so the Jins won’t hope for JL to also inherit the Jiang, or that it’s so JL will have a friend among the Jiang. She lets those rumors run, as well. For once, let gossip work for her.

It's complicated, for JC, handling her daughter, in a way handling JL isn't. Her daughter isn't quite hers in the eyes of the world (JC didn't adopt her so soon, afraid someone would work the truth out). And she’s not merely hers; she’s WWX’s.

JC isn’t really more okay with WWX’s legacy than in canon because WWX orphaned JL. She’s still sharp-tongued and sharp-tempered. 

here’s a handful of facts:

She tells JL to think of JC’s foster daughter as the sister his parents would have given him. 

JC's daughter hates WWX because she knows he killed her father at the Siege. That's as hard on JC as hearing her daughter cackle WWX’s childhood laughter.

Sometimes it's hard for JC to look at her daughter.

There are scenes of heart wrenching conflict between her kid and her. “You're not even my real mother!” gets yelled once at the apex of a horrible fight, JC's face changes, the kid bursts into tears and runs to her room. The scene is only settled with JC entering the kid’s room (her daughter is hugging herself as hard as if JC had taken puppies away) and telling her stories about her parents. The kid goes from hugging herself to clinging to JC and sobbing. (JC cries when she returns to her room.)

It's also hard because as her daughter grows up sometimes JC thinks her daughter wants to leave. That she'd rather be a rogue cultivator, not the heir to the Jiang. Too much of her father on her, perhaps.

All this to say that JC isn't a perfect foster mom to her child.

the kids are very close. nobody is scared of JC in this household. JC’s daughter giggled and squealed as a baby/toddler when she heard JC shouting at other people. (Mama being shouty was very funny to the baby.) 

JC formally adopts her daughter at some point between Rusong’s birth and JL getting his sword, I’m not sure when exactly. 

JC develops a longstanding grudge against JGY for giving JL Fairy, for the following reasons: 1)like in canon, she can’t be the one giving JL a dog. 2)her daughter wants a dog. so JC is cast in the position of refusing, and she does refuse, because - when her daughter shouts and laugh, when her daughter cackles after JC’s shouted from afar at both children to be careful in the water, it’s like WWX never quite left. She can’t close that door. She can’t pretend she thinks he’s never going to return. She can’t choose not to be haunted. 

In place of a dog, she gets her daughter a pony. 

(Her daughter is prompt to decide this is much cooler than a dog. Later JC will dourly regret gifting her adventurous child the means with which to gallop all over the place. The pony’s saving grace is that you can’t put a pony on a flying sword, at least.) 

The children bicker endlessly about the merits of their respective animals. JC’s daughter calls her pony Thunder Vengeance. Everybody but her calls her Thunder for short. (because she makes a lot of comparisons to Leigong and Dianmu and her mother, and she casts herself as the little boy driving Leigong’s cart.) 

Daughter’s name contains a reference to Yanli because JC was not done feeling guilty for not being able to hate WWX even after he caused JYL’s death.

changes after WWX’s resurrection:

When WWX gets resurrected in this timeline, both kids are on Phoenix Mountain. I’m not sure how exactly close to canon WWX’s meeting with JL (and JC’s daughter) is, I want to say very close - maybe JL says “my aunt” and WWX goes “your *aunt*?” and JC’s daughter stands as tall as she can and says “yeah, my *mother*” - anyway I want JC’s daughter here and identified as soon as possible. 

This changes two things:

WWX’s brain is running blank because what JC kid. JC had a kid. JC. a CHILD??? it cannot go uninvestigated.

JC does not shout about WWX when she arrives, because her child is there and that's her other parent. She’ll be angry at herself later for trying to preserve something that isn't, but it's incredibly important for her that her child doesn't fight her father. It would be awful and wrong. JC’s lie about her daughter’s dead father was always going to have consequences but it shouldn't have this one. JL was orphaned by WWX.

So JC is more controlled, and WWX isn’t immediately convinced that he's been recognized and needs to gtfo before his ex murders him, and he very badly wants/needs to know what's up with JC and her kid.

When JC claims “MXY” must be dragged back to YMJ, he goes very willingly. This is what he wanted! He's still a bit apprehensive, but he's too curious not to go.

He chats with the kids, mostly, on the way back. JC isn't very talkative. It's enough for him to get the piece of information that JC’s daughter is her adoptive daughter, and the heir to YMJ. (It's weirdly reassuring to hear for some reason. It's JC taking a decision for the sect but there’s not, like, an entire husband and family and moving-on, it's still JC. And at the same time, he feels unmoored. JC adopted a child? Just like that. YMJ’s heir is adopted. She and JL are bickering and talking over one another and calling each other brother and sister.)

In LP, JC sends the kids swiftly to bed (there are protests), and WWX is starting to remember that oh yeah he'll have to do some quick thinking probably, when JC reveals she knows who he is. He denies. She pulls out Zidian - did you really think you could fool her, WWX? How dare you! Why did you return now? What do you want?

(I think they fuck. Or, at least: he very much feels like going to her like he once did, his hand wants to cup her cheek, he wants to smooth away the furrow on her brow.)

“Is it so hard to believe I just wanted to see more about the children?”

JC’s lips twist.

She doesn't throw him out or in a torture dungeon. Might drag him to the altars and make him apologize.

Most likely, they get to cogitate about The Plot. 

The pattern of the story is public lies and secret truths, so that's how it happens here too. WWX stays incognito in LP, and they fall into bed - like when they were younger, they have to be discreet. The vibe here is very much they're having a affair and they have to hide it.

The affair vibe includes the plot-relevant investigation. There's a little less JC and WWX travelling together than LWJ and WWX in canon, but there’s WWX sneaking back into LP in order to keep JC aware of his latest findings (and to have a fight about WWX inviting WN into LP) and Sect Leader Jiang stopping back from a night-hunt at an inn to meet an informant (WWX). 

This features things like WWX walking off the road because he’s daydreaming about the intimacy of seeing JC before bed, with a damp lock of her hair sticking to her neck and snaking down between her tits, and the ancient xianxia equivalent of a negligee that might be a little see-through. 

Also featured: WWX rolling his shoulders trying to feel the bruises she left (she still scratches but MXY’s core is only good for getting rid of those, which seems the worst of both worlds to WWX! He liked feeling the scratches a couple days down the line!!!). WWX is down bad for milf JC. (Also features JC staring at the strewn papers that fell on the ground last night when she and WWX started making out before she could put them away. She’s determinedly Not Thinking about it, especially when her daughter is raising her eyebrows at her.)

I think JC’s tempted to tell him the truth about their daughter right after Yi City/the Yi City equivalent, but she can't break the habit of keeping it a secret. And she can't know for sure if WWX will–she can't just tell WWX on a whim just because some stuck-in-the-past part of her wants to tell him!

WWX-investigating-Jinlintai this time involves WWX wondering how to infiltrate Jinlintai, and running into JC in Jinlintai. JC has good access to Jinlintai, so if he pretends to be part of her retinue it’ll hold out for all of two minutes until people recognize MXY. JC is not delighted with the idea but she likes JGY pulling shady stuff which endangers JL even less. 

The investigation does not result in WWX being uncovered in front of the entire Jianghu (Qin Su doesn't kill herself), but possibly only because JC and WWX end up pulling the oldest undercover move in the book: making out against a door. Afterwards JC is pissed because that's her reputation. WWX is a little flippant when he says that he knows how important her reputation is to her, but– do you, WWX? JC retorts. Do you?? Do you think I would have the raising of my nephew if the cultivation world didn’t think me above personal desires, above feelings and manipulation?

So the truth about the kid comes out when they confront JGY (how does that happen, given that there’s no Guanyin Temple scene? not my problem! all I know is that JGY’s gotta be the one to say it. Amidst the sea of bullshit JGY spouts as he tries to distract them/drive a wedge between them, like in canon, the one true thing he chances on is that JC’s daughter is WWX’s and she never told him. (JGY isn't an idiot. He worked it out. There was no reason for him to do anything about it, but now there is!)

I think WWX makes a run for it. WN finds him basically brooding in the dark in the cave in Yiling, and (gently) pokes him in the direction of returning to LP. At least for an explanation. WWX should get one, WN says. WWX kind of laughs hysterically. What’s JC going to explain? How babies are made? WWX knows how, he was there for it, WN!

(for maximum drama, the kids were there when JGY pulled out that tidbit, so another reason JC isn’t here herself is also because she’s busy with that.)

I’m also thinking that given WN finding WWX and convincing him to return must have taken at least a few hours, WWX finds his daughter out of LP and on her way to look for WWX (on her pony; she didn’t want to be alone for this - and she didn’t want to take JL because JL really did have both his parents dead because of WWX), so he brings her back (and saves JC a heart attack).

They work it out.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

figured i'd ask you since you're like, The Flash Fam Expert, but do you happen to know the rough ages of the flashfam? like i know irey and jai are nine, ace is somewhere in his late teens, and wally has to be late twenties at the youngest but i can't find many specifics on other characters and wasn't sure if you might be able to help!

OOF. That's a rough one buddy. You don't understand what you have just unleashed upon the world.

God. Alright.

Irey and Jai are nine physically and mentally. Chronologically speaking, they're still toddlers but don't worry about it.

Ace is around 17? Not yet 18 but older than 15. I would bet on 17 but 16 wouldn't be crazy either. Avery is the same age.

Jay and Max are over 100 but by how much, I couldn't tell you. They play their age close to the chest. Physically they look 50-60 though.

Here's where it gets tricky.

Barry, Wally, Jesse and Bart.

So, Wally would've been in his early 30's when his children were born. Definitely by the time Barry came back Wally would've been at least 30.

However, during the N52 reboot everyone got deaged around a decade younger, Wally included. Wally came out of the Speedforce wearing his Kid Flash costume, indicating that he was physically 19 at the oldest. It's been a few years since Wally emerged, so physically he would have to be around 21 at this point.

Wild! I know!

So yeah, Barry would've been... late 30's? Ish? When he died. He came back at roughly the same age and chilled for a bit. He would've had to have hit 40 at least by that point. But speedsters also don't really physically age? So he looked like he was in his early 30's.

The N52 reboot hit, putting Barry at... late 20's- early 30's. I would say, by now, that the man is at least 30. Potentially even 35. But he looks 25 because speedsters don't age. (Iris would be around 30)

Bart is going to be the most wild one here. Alright. I'm speedrunning this one, so if you don't understand what is happening, I'm sorry but it is too late for you.

He exits the time portal at physically 12, ages to 14 before stabilized. He ages to 16 at which point he disappears. He comes back as an adult for a year but is killed. He comes back, again, back at 16 and is allowed to chill for a bit (potentially a year), bringing Bart to 17 years old (physically) when Flashpoint and the N52 reboot hit.

Bart was somehow spared the ~10 year deaging but he wasn't spared the deaging entirely. Bart pops out looking around 12-14 years old again. He runs around for about a year ish, which brings Bart to physically 13-15 years old currently in comics.

HOWEVER, it must be stated that, like Wally and Barry, Bart's mental age has never been reset. His mental age did not reboot with his body, so mentally Bart is around 19-20 years old.

Jesse... Jesse is weird. DC likes to keep Jesse ambiguously young. When in doubt, Jesse is around the same age as Wally. So, currently she would be around 21. The same applies to Linda.

So yeah. It's weird because Barry was a guy in his 30's with a little baby ten year old Wally and there was at least a 20 year age difference there. And now it's maybe 9 years? But also Barry looks 25 because he's a speedster, so it looks like Barry is only 4-5 years older than Wally.

Honestly if you went off looks alone, it'd be Jay (50), Max (50), Barry (25), Wally (21), Jesse (21), Avery (16), Ace (16), Bart (14), Irey (9) and Jai (9). Which is WILD?! Their family looks like two gay dads adopted 8 kids. Other than Max and Jay, they all look within five years of each other. It's wild.

Speedster aging man... They just... don't. They don't age. They live on Neverland time 24/7.

[esorxy]

remembering all the insanely long marauders fics ive brainrotted over because i kinda forgot all of them. roughly in the order i read them.

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers?

355k, jegulus wolfstar rosekiller. post war (ended by regulus) where they just hang around grimmauld place all day. i literally cant remember anything that happened. but i liked how they stayed home and didnt go outside, because i relate to that. it was alternating chapters between post war and pre war, honestly i dont even know it was just so much relationship angst and regulus being incredibly competent and hurt.

All The Young Dudes

526k, the character development and buildup, its like the level of the actual series without the annual voldemort attack. i was DESTROYED by the ending, it lived in my brain rent free for like a week. why did it have to be canon compliant???! the way they spent so much time pining, so much time apart, and so little time together. but that theyre literal soulmates, which is so sad for grant (he suffered true emotional damage) lmfao. I guess this is the basis (canon??) of marauders era

we can be heroes, for ever and ever

102k alternate happy ending to atyd - yes PLEASE this is what i needed to heal the pain after reading atyd.

choices

624k. lowkey feel the same way towards this as atyd, except it didnt live in my brain rent free for a week. in that i respect that it's good and got heartbroken when everyone died and they didn't get their happy ending, but it did get me into jegulus so I'm not complaining. IDK it's just sad, but i love regulus and evan and cerci. even though i deadass can't remember anything else.

crimson rivers

865k actually SOBBING this fic is everything. so much plot and so much hurt, it is amazing and painful and intense. it has the most picturesque scenes, beautiful happy ending. but i did kinda get sick of it near the end cos its so fuckin long, and i was not into the girls in the fic so i was kinda cbs

holding onto the self

76k and it was so good i felt so sad for sirius. this is the type of fic which makes me jaw drop and suck in breath like poor baby honestly. no summary needed cos ill never forget what its about lmfao....

just lovers

321k fake dating au. this is GREAT. its so light hearted which is a great change from the akckdjebakzj. this is the climb to the top for regulus being my favourite character. lowkey can't remember shit but i liked it and i need more fics like it because it was creative and there's not much room for that in marauders verse

only the brave

645k and The fic of my dreams. this is everything and i loved every second of it. every character is so great, and it got me into pandalily!!! perfect amount of hurt (a lot), and such good plot. it has every ship i like, i was like drowning in a hot spring of happiness while reading this

ecliptic

147k, oh it's so creative and new. it was so suspenseful cos we got 0 answers, and the fic is deadass incomplete wtf!! i love how everyone is sad but mostly rational. the jegulus was really really nice, and i liked how the cruciatus was made out to be a big deal so the hurt/comfort is better. i feel like the plot is better than the delivery

wolfstar my one true pair, jegulus my second true pair, evan®ulus has a special place in my heart, marauders fanfiction a permanent space in my mind for at least the next few weeks

new edit: shit! i forgot to update and i read so many more long fics and can barely remember them now

mastermind

311k i cant even remember anything that happened ... except i liked the dynamic between narcissa and regulus, and narcissa is so damn pretty. this was the one where regulus made james and sirius go with him to the cave, and then james had to force him to drink the potion, so much angst arghhhh.

all along there was some invisible string (tying you to me)

103k spiderman AU + high school and all i can say that its an original setting... the pining was great, and the spiderman kiss!! but other than that like it was good, i guess

I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly

243k Victorian AU with arranged marriage trans regulus. I loved regulus' character, he was so spiteful and petty but also down bad, and jegulus matched so perfectly together. i want his life so bad because his literal job was being married, like deadass he didnt do shit all day except read, play with his cats and pine for his husband...

a violent kind of spin

212k not going to lie, my favourite/most striking parts of this fic were the $h scenes... and i just finished it last night so I dont even have an excuse. james asking sirius to turn around and not even waiting for him to do it??? oml hes unhinged and it was so well written. the bathtub scene when he was on a timer and then just walked out like everything was fine!!! help it was so angsty im in love. i feel like i speedran this fic and didnt read it properly, which is probably accurate

Im not gonna teach him how to dance with you

122k. rosekiller is the BEST. i love the whole plot tbh and it was so well paced. love that for evan because nobody else is gonna keep by with barty's crazy. i would have liked it more if it had crack undertones but yknow whatever, cant have everything. i thoroughly enjoyed all the romantic tension in the leadup, the way they were both so in love im gone.

All the young dudes - Sirius' Perspective

628k, let me tell you, canon has no right being that sad, and the beloved author just fed off that like a parasite. i should have expected how this fanfic would destroy me, but the delivery made it so much more painful. i sobbed reading the Halloween and Azkaban chapters. and sirius,,, like why did you have to be so angry all the time. and so obsessed with remus from day 1. it was great. although like halfway through i just felt like ... wolfstar is so basic. jegulus once jegulus forever i guess.

whatever our souls are made of

157k hanahaki where we really gotta work for the happy ending. OML it was so beautifully sad. reggie 💔💔. sirius said nobody on the earth deserves his baby brother, but if he had to pick someone, it would be James 😭😭 I'm a broken man

oml i havent updated in 2 months... its ok i didnt read that much cos i was too tired with uni and work. anyway i found all my fics through tiktok, tumblr, or thru the author cos this gold mine is too big sorry chief. which is like. someone recommended this following fic :skull:

I'm not okay (I solemnly swear)

107k and unfinished :000 cant believe it i read something unfinished but when i read the tags i was like ok yeah im in. my secret is that i read fics like these!!! and most of them are not well written but this one is. and so was that other one about sirius but it was only like 78k so i didnt write it up. anyway poor reggie is going through it, and idk if its ever getting finished cos the poor author might be going through it too. additional note: idk if this is the one but bestie has so many problems like get help fr.

the veil of secrecy

100k but its unfinished and let me tell nobody i was devastated. omg it was so sad so the summary is after reggie defected voldymouldy found out and like --- got all his remaining horcruxes and stuffed them inside his chest and abdominal cavity in some crazy ass surgery. and then he sewed his mouth shut and broke his fingers and kept him around him like some porcelain doll/pet and thats the punishment????? oml how do u think of that... anyway so he dissociates into his fabric walls of occlumency so voldy doesnt know where the locket is. ok whatever they escape and he falls in love with jamie idk. its unfinished.

to the boy who...

238k its similar to the previous one (written by the same author ibbsterkisster) and i found it to read to cope with the first one not being finished. yes this is like 3x as long sighs we all know how it is. anyway its similar except reggie is like his boy toy instead... which is even worse. anyway i cant remember anything about the jegulus but i DO remember that evan was so sweet (as he is) he like stroked the bruise on reggies wrist very gently :facepalm: and that scene lives rent free in my brain.

blood on my shirt, heart in my hand

22k and id just like to say, this is the kind of horror that i like. its kinda a mystery at first but its not so creepy, and the jegulus endgame is stronger than a bulletproof vest. so james is having dreams which are vaguely murderous, and when he wakes up the events like kinda match up. turns out hes like having some repetitive dissociative episode every night at 12.37am and getting up to murder people. and after the first time reggie was just like 'well if ur in then im in too' and straight up helps him murder people ?!? i loved it. murder husbands.

the long game

250k and this is the most unique fic youll get here. modern high school au where reggie is like this god genius talented painter and they work on a musical set together, and reggie gets an art show and idk why this stood out to me but he drew like a green soft and a purple cushion and was like... this represents me and evan, cos were ok separately but great together. i read this so long ago i cant even remember what i thought of it

jealousy, jealousy

85k + unfinished again!! anyway so bartylus fake date so james and evan can get jealous and then they both end up together. i just remember it was so cute because they would just hug each other like constantly all the time, and cry at the smallest inconvenience, then their friend/boyfriend would go and lie with them in bed and hug them and that was like a very significant portion of it. and im not even complaining this is the type of physical affection they deserve

pathological people pleaser

114k but it passed so fast?!?! james is so fuckin unstable man like get a therapist. ok i actually enjoyed this so much because for some reason i was really into horror (it was literally 2 days ago) and this wasnt horror but they did not reveal like why james was so fucked, and which parts of his narration were unreliable until quite a bit in. also there was more than a month gap between me bookmarking this one and the last one and like i dont even know what i did with myself??? (actually i lied i read more fanfiction i just forgot i did cos i forgot to bookmark it) (summary: summer holiday where starchaser fall in love also effie died in a car crash on the way to james after he called and was like mom im gonna kms. ok but it was really well written and full of suspense)

anti-hero

237k and i just finished it so its fresh in my mind (for once) ok now that i think about it i have no idea why regulus lived that first time... maybe i didnt read closely enough but like when fics are that long i kinda just miss some stuff or forget it and they all blur together anyway. ok so firstly i want a story of james and regulus in this universe when they were still at hogwarts because like having a secret relationship for 2 years and also doing drugs.. just the hurt comfort ahhh maybe without all the hurt and yelling but whatever. cant have it all. anyway this was so well written i always like narcissa tbh. glad james and regulus sorted out their shit eventually even though it took so. fucking. long. anyway yikes (summary: reggie lives after the cave and they go horcrux hunting and kill voldy but then reggie fucks off to america and becomes a drug addict again but comes back, and james has anger issues but only when it comes to regulus anyway they kept hurting each other that i didnt even feel sad anymore when it happened) addition: oml reggie being an addict + nic in beautiful boy the stars aligned finally i get some visual scenes in this fandom

doing a word count sum of the above and its: 6 million and 476 thousand...

meetings that start in the dark

656k and oml i was SEMI HOOKED. honestly like why did it take them so fucking long to get back together like the moment Voldemort dropped dead James should have been unable to stay away from regulus. anyway love how they're obsessed with each other, love how Luna and Harry are playing matchmaker. and i especially love how Sirius was the lame embarrassing parent ahah. also the amount of bs evan has to put up with from reg and barty... jesus christ i loved them in this except for how he was buff girl no evan is a twink and this fic wont change my mind

sometimes, running away does solve all your problems

15k so reggie literally walks out of his house and his parents dont even notice and he runs away and meets james and they live together it was perfect omfg i loved it so so so much. it had the same sad, resigned tone as the dsmp fics that i was obsessed with before and would reread over and over. and the small village quiet life is a dream

27 club

27k and why was it so heavy oml like i didn't sign up for this sadness. ok so reggie is DEAD but before that he and James were like lovers and drug buddies but also lacked healthy communication. james is like bye imma get clean without u, the literal love of my life. the whole thing was so sad because it would be like one bit of 'oh and they were in love and making music' and then another bit of 'james was mourning so hard he couldnt get out of bed'. it was lowkey magical to read except for how hes dead.

you missed my heart

100k and omfg im in shock tbh. like what the actual fuck. I'm in shock in an "im unsettled and creeped out" way. i don't even know why because ive read serial killer jegulus fics before and it was all peachy, but maybe this one was so creepy because we were in the dark, and the killing isn't unrealistic and romanticised. James was so smitten with regulus too I'm crying i was actually convinced that reggie wasn't the killer. i need soft regulus fluff to cope with this. to erase the image of reggie being a psychopath. omg Sirius after finding out the truth.. poor boy was like catatonic. I'm never reading unhappy ending fics again I've become weak my heart can't take it

I'm going to start including the shorter fanfics that i read and are memorable as well because i don't discriminate

which means i have a lot of catching up to do

the moment and the sound

29k so james runs away with harry to escape voldemort and meets reggie by chance. they live together and james is like straight up depressed. i liked this fic but also forgot what it was like.

raise hell

30k it's basically about them being angels and demons and working together to idk stop the world from ending. i liked the tone of the fic in that everyone was like set in their ways and was like wtf at everyone else but also i wish it was longer and there was more about each person's like representation like Sirius being the angel of justice. also it was so funny regulus the angel of diligence and James the demon of lust.

blackpool

63k and omg it was so well written but i was so confused the whole time cos i have no literary ability. like regulus being a straight up unreliable narrator?!?! deadass in shock half the time reading this tbh

calm before the storm

51k and i could draw a graph of the shock factor of this fic and it would look like a staircase with 3 steps. at the start it was so happy and cute and i was like omg why did i click on this again and then sirius dies and james loses his memory and reggie is like fucked up that's the first step up and then they heal whatever but then reggie straight up starts murdering people and making a show out of it i read it all like 😳😳. unhinged fr, and also everyone tried to kts at least once like besties go see a therapist please

pink lemonade

121k band tour au where they sing (i think mostly) arctic monkeys songs and kudos because the lyrics all fit so well to whatever clown ass miscommunication situation jegulus have going on. it was relationship angst and maybe i would have enjoyed it more if i read it earlier but rn i need action and thrill. i was like to my irl friend like miscommunication angst isn't enough for me anymore i need murder and she was like girl wtf.

youngblood

75k basically jegulus were roommates in juvenile detection and they had such a deep soul connection in the 2 months and then never reconnected until like 9 years later. ok anyway my favourite part was James and how he was so unhinged. like literally provoking bullies so they hurt him is his form of sh... girl get a grip honestly but also respect for the idgaf factor

mercy

36k so james gets possessed by a ??demon called mercy and reg is an exorcist... so its very obvious what drew me into this. anyway james lives at regs house while hes figuring out what the fuck is wrong with him and they just ??? fall in love. ok slow burn was not really burning at all more like a ticking bomb but the horror was cute. also i found it at night and then read it all at like 8-9am in the morning before getting out of bed so i cant remember it but it was well written and the demon was lowkey cute too he was just out for drama which i can relate

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 13 Thoughts: Phone Bug

A big episodes for small reasons. Not much world-shaking happened but just enough was said about just the right things. A lot to get into in this one around the incident. We're starting to have the curtain pulled back. Just a crack right now, but that's just more reason to be cracked.

Spoilers for episode 13, and all of TMA, below the cut.

Not a huge amount to touch on in the date portion of the episode other than a couple of sentences. Yeah, Sam is a gifted burn out that's sad about not getting experimented on. Same old same old. But Celia has a baby. Jack being Celia's kid I wasn't expecting mostly because of how that figures into her timeline. She's very heavily implied to be TMA's Celia but based on what she said if she is then she's been in TMP's universe for at least 4 years. A "couple of wild years" and Jack's "just over a year old". Plus 9 months and it's a lot longer than it might've appeared. None of that stuff tripped Freddy's possible lie detector either that I heard.

If you work under the assumption that the voices are who most people think, and they started roughly when they arrived, then that's a fairly major time discrepancy. The voices are about a year old but Celia has been around for 4.

However, it doesn't strictly rule that out either. Firstly, we know that moving between universes isn't actually one-to-one time-wise. Anya Villette went backwards 2 weeks when she crossed over. So them arriving at different times could support the idea that she's TMA's Celia further. Her general explanation of events could also be explained by this too. If she's not there willingly, or is there willingly but it didn't quite go to plan, a couple of wild years while you get your footing in a world you don't belong to isn't far fetched. If she was there looking for the voices then her showing up so relatively late could be explained by her baby too. So it's certainly not a dead and buried theory yet.

While Jack isn't Jack Barnabas he and the voices are about the same age. If people want to go rabid over that.

Gwen and Lena's little chat has a similar amount to really dig into. It's nice to see Gwen dealing with it all, and it's annoying we still don't know who died, but Lena does have a lot to say in a few words.

The world is full of opposing forces, some benevolent, most not. In order for the wheels to keep on turning, all these forces need to be monitored and balanced. That is where we come in.

This probably the most information we've had on the OIAR to this point from the show itself. I think most of this was safely assumed before this point. They've been doing a lot of monitoring, categorisation, and the only responses we have seen have been tamping major spikes down. A world of opposing forces is also a given. We are being led to believe that these are analogous to the 14+1 but there being benevolent ones if that's true is a big mix up. If you take the above timeline idea a step further and say the 14+1 arrived much earlier (or it doesn't matter because of how they're temporally weird) the benevolent ones could be native to TMP. They could be all TMP had.

Her assertion that the OIAR is a balance on these forces is interesting. Beyond the obvious stuff it also leans into an idea I've been throwing about regarding Starkwall. In the perception of Starwall might not really be the whole picture. The San Pedro Square massacre could've been an easy scapegoat to pin on them for the OIAR to split with them. A split caused by a disagreement in ethics. Starkwall thus far hasn't been shown to have an incredible disregard for human life based on Ep 7. The OIAR definitely has been. It could just be a PR move because the massacre was too big to contain but that feels like the least interesting way to handle this. A faction that's all in on monster hit men splitting with a faction who is against it has more room for interesting drama and worldbuilding IMO.

Balance was also a very large aspect of TMA in the end. The OIAR working towards that balance isn't as noble a goal as it might sound. Or it at least has the potential to be an incredibly misguided goal.

Okay, with all that mostly out of the way onto the incident itself. I enjoy this one a fair bit. Very different to what's come before it but with another recurring theme. We're starting to see a couple of patterns emerge now although it's too early to start naming things. I don't think there is a lot to really get into but this one was written by Alex, had a new VA, and was a recurring idea. Which does all point to this being quite important as these things go. All the episodes will likely tie up quite nicely in the end but this one seems quite relevant currently. In any case this was a fun one and I'm kinda curious how some of the elements within it will tie together. Mainly the gambling and insects.

Also, super weird they went with Zorrotrade for this. Because that's a real thing. Or was a real thing? It might be dead now, but still.

Post-incident chat has nothing I really want to comment on. More Alice and Sam is always good, even if Alice is trying really hard to not seem very upset.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet

DPHW Theory: 4622 doesn't seem particularly noteworthy. It's interesting from a thematic angle how this differs from Rolling With It. Both obviously very linked to gambling but this one lacks the compulsion elements. Which is a good indicator that H is linked to that sort of thing. Not that I need to convince myself of that further.

CAT# Theory: 3. Insert screams et cetera, et cetera. More seriously there still isn't a convincing pattern to this. Although I might be swinging back to my original tria prima and/or triple deity interpretation.

R# Theory: B is where I was thinking it'd end up while listening. So that's nice. Not much to add to this. Much like with DPHW the more information that lines up with the theory the less there is to talk about it because I've already done the hard bit.

Header talk: Gambling (Application) -/- Murder. Other than Application being a pretty weird Subsection I'm not sure there is much to dig into here. Although it does likely confirm he's dead. Which does make it a little strange that his statement wasn't read by one of the Freddy lot.

[drachenfalter]

Don't you happen to have theories on the way grimwalkers age and how old is Hunter chronologically?

Okay, so I had theories before it was revealed that Belos made way more grimwalkers than is reasonable.

In Hollow Mind, we only see a bit over 20 grimwalker remains, and Belos started making them roughly 350 years ago, which would give us an average age close to 16 - Hunter's age.

But then we got this:

and this:

That's a lot more than 20.

Which means my old theories no longer work. So let's make some new ones:

In For the Future, we learn that grimwalkers can come out of the mud they grow in fully formed, potentially looking much older than they are - but there is a catch to this.

"It's not ready."

Growing a grimwalker takes a long time.

Belos has been gone from the Isles for just as long as the Hexsquad, so this grimwalker was in the mud for months at least - but the fact that Belos is growing multiple at the same time when he only ever has one around leads me to believe that the process might actually take years.

Well, if you want a grown-up grimwalker, that is.

A baby grimwalker might take a lot less time. And we have reason to believe that Belos at least experimented with that at some point.

Here it is. The baby grimwalker.

Now, Hunter believes that Belos took him in after his family was destroyed by wild magic, and Hunter also is the youngest golden guard and went through the standard Coven Scout training before he took on this role. Which means he was around for a couple of years at least.

So, maybe he came out of the muck as a twelve or thirteen year old, and Belos just told him he lost his memories because of wild magic or something.

But there is one other possibility:

The baby on this page could be Hunter.

After FTF, we know that this book doesn't depict the average grimwalker. That this is a specific experiment.

Maybe Belos decided that getting them out fully grown was the reason they always betrayed him, and so decided to try another tactic.

Let the newest grimwalker grow up like a normal child, take away his (adopted) family and then Belos blames it on wild magic and presents himself as Hunter's savior to inspire loyalty and hopefully make Hunter hate magic just as much as he does.

In this case, Hunter would be really around sixteen years old, and all his memories could be real.

[gamerbearmira]

Could we get more housebroken snippets please?

OF COURSE YOU CAN 🔇🔇🔇

I haven't been showing this au much love, and I apologize for that <//33 I haven't really been able to write much of anything cause of ACT testing. I got a ton of drawings because drawing ideas come to me quicker and I can do it quicker, but writing? Not so much 💀I mean it’s not that I can’t write, it just takes longer and I’m not as good at translated ideas to writing as I am drawing.

ANYWAY LEMME SHUT UP. I FINALLY FOUND TIME AND GOT TO WRITE THIS <333

Les get it

----

Dolores' ears perked up as she listened for movement within Casita. As soon as she confirmed no one active in the house, she gestured for Isabela to follow. Both of the women moved from the treeline and quickly towards the house. It was already dark, and late at night---no one was up.

As soon as they made it to the side where the nursery window was, Casita began to flip tiles, greeting them happily with a wave of the window shutters. Isabela shushed the house, still waving hello and he used her vines to pull herself up the side of the house. Dolores stayed watched, then she quickly scampered up the makeshift rope, Isabela helping her into the room.

As soon as the were in the room, they looked around. It looked the same. There were a few changes, sure, but the side where Mirabel stayed was still there. Her drawings, most of her toys, and other things. The only difference was that there was a crib, dressed in yellow bed sheets. The two in the room, walked over, peeking into the crib.

And there was a baby, the new baby. He was only around 6, maybe 7 months old. Little Antonio. Dolores' littlest and newest brother. And he had already gotten his animal features. It probably happened recently, because none of the adults had commented on it, at least Dolores didn't hear if they did. But they already knew one thing, he wouldn't be safe here. Alma would probably shun him for something he couldn't even control. So they had to take him. He would be safe with them, they knew that. They also knew about the storm that would happen the next day, so they would have to ask Luisa to seal the cave up so none of the younger ones would get sick.

"You grab his clothes, I'll pack all of his baby things," Isabela said and Dolores nodded. Both immediately got to work, quickly packing things away into the baskets left in the room. They had noticed that Casita made no real effort to stop them. Sure, the house seemed sad, but aside from a half-hearted floorboard lifting, there wasn't much fighting...

Antonio was asleep the whole time. He had moved slightly, but never actually woke up. Occasionally, Dolores would check on him, making sure he was ok. The had yet to determine what animal he was, it was hard in the dim moonlight. Though Isabela had commented he was some kind of cat species.

Isabela was about to say something when Dolores jumped, one of her ears peeking up, turning towards the door. Isabela heard it as well, and both moved to hide. Dolores slipped into the dresser while Isabela slid under the bed. There was some padding across the floor and then the door opened. The two women hiding watched as the door opened, and saw someone walk into the room---their tío Bruno.

He walked over to the crib, looking into it, and his eyes widened. He freaked out silently, then rushed out of the nursery. As soon as he was out of earshot, Isabela and Dolores scrambled to grab the rest of his thing, shoving them in the baskets. Isabela carefully pulled the blanket around Antonio, scooping the infant up and holding him in her arms.

There was a crack of thunder, and another door swung open. Dolores and Isabela rushed towards the window, Dolores jumping out with the baskets in hand---she landed on the ground roughly, but she didn't seem concerned, quickly ushering Isabela to hurry on down. Isabela threw her leg over the edge of the window, using another vine to keep herself and Antonio steady. She could hear the doorknob rattling, and then her tia telling Casita to open the door. She finally managed to get both legs over the window sill, sliding slowly down the roof.

The door finally slammed into the wall, and Isabela looked up, making eye contact with her mamá, along with her tia and tio. Antonio must've been startled by the loud noise to his new sensitive ears, as he started crying, gathering Isabela's attention for a moment.

"Isa...Isabela?" Julieta whispered and Isabela shooked her head, face full of sadness. "You're alive? You're here? What are you---?"

"I-I'm...I'm sorry. But he's not safe here," Isabela muttered. "I promise, we'll take care of him. Goodbye," and with that, Isabela slid down, jumping to the ground as she held a still whining baby. The triplets scrambled to the window and saw both Isabela and Dolores running off toward the forest.

Rain immediately fell, not just over the three, but over the entire Encanto. Both Julieta and Pepa were crying as they rushed down the stairs, Bruno hastily following behind. They ran in the direction they saw the other three go, running through brush and trees. All three were calling their names, but they got no answer. The thunderstorm drowned out any cries of a baby or the running of two grandkids---and the rain washed away any signs of footprints.

Pepa fell to the ground, tears running down her face, not that anyone could tell with the heavy rain and thunder, which was starting to flood the forest.

"I lost them...I lost them again," she sobbed, throwing her face into her hands. "They came back and I lost them!"

"Pepa, it's not your fault," Bruno said, trying to reassure her, but he was just as distressed. If only he had a vision, he might've been able to prevent this.

Pepa stopped for a moment, pulling her hands away. Her brother was right, it wasn't her fault. It was her mamá's fault. It was her fault they ran away, to begin with. It was her fault that the kids were cursed. That they were cursed. And it was her fault that her eldest sobrina and hija thought that her little Toñito wouldn't be safe at Casita.

"You're right," Pepa said, and Bruno and Julieta looked down at her confused, and a bit scared. "It's hers!" Pepa seethed, and her hands balled up into fists. She quickly stood up, running back towards Casita, thunder clapping and lightning hitting the ground as she ran. Julieta and Bruno immediately knew what she was going to do. They promptly chased after her, though they were lagging because Pepa was naturally the fastest out of the three, even compared to Bruno.

Pepa had reached her limit, and if they didn't stop her, she was going to rip their mamá apart.

——

Originally I was gonna have the other 3 meet Antonio. But I backed out and did this instead. Here was the art for it 💀💀

I guess you could say this would be a sequel drawing 🗣

Also fun fact, Isabela and Dolores had long since planned to take Antonio. The moment they found how Pepa was having a baby, they planned on taking him. Though unsure, they had a hunch he might’ve been cursed like them. But even if he wasn’t, they still would’ve taken him with them, in fear that he would be cursed because of the pressure Alma would out on him come his ceremony.

Another thing was that Antonio originally wasn’t gonna get his animal features until he turned 4 or even 5. This was because Mirabel and Camilo got their at that age, and Luisa was technically was younger as well (nevermind Isabela and Dolores). It would’ve been a lot more painful for him as well <\\\3 .I never entertained the idea that much, so unfortunately I ain’t got no art of writing of it :((

OK SEE YAAAAAA

[queenofbaws]

these weeks just...just keep comin, huh??? like they don't stop or something ;P

another quick update from queenie hq: things are going to c o n t i n u e to be sporadic and strange on my end for the next couple weeks. i'm going to be hosting family, again, until roughly the end of the month, so alas, i'm not anticipating a ton of writing time. or relaxing time. or time where i'm not gritting my jaw and screaming internally. SUCH IS LIFE!

however, i'm totally psyched to report i fiiinally got to cross one long-running wip off my list (the tale(s) of the champion), and oooh the feeling of seeing a complete checkmark for that baby over on ao3 is fueling the fire for me to wrap some others up too ;P my plan for the time being is still to try and get out a chapter or two of like wringing blood in the near future, but i'm also going to be working on finally wrapping of mummy men & bathtub soup so i can open the door for other CREEPs projects. we shall see.

as always, i've thrown some snippets under the cut - strictly supermassive projects this time, hehe - and i hope you're all doing well <3

of mummy men & bathtub soup

“Uh huh. Look. I’m sure you guys have something hilarious planned for me tonight. Another A+ jumpscare courtesy of Washington Pictures, Inc. And I’m also sure that the more of this crap you get me to gobble up, the antsier all your cloak and daggers bullshit makes me, the funnier it’ll be when I fall into a swoon or whatever, but it’s not happening. Am I the brightest bulb in the lamp? No! I’m not! Am I the sort of moron who gets bit by a dog and tries to pet it a second time? Also no!”

Sam had barely started shaking her head when Fliss joined them, an unspoken question in her eyes. She latched onto her instead. “People keep talking about last night. I've heard someone mention weird stuff happening on at least three separate occasions already, so if anyone could give me just a little context, that would be so great.”

“Weird is…one way to put it,” Fliss said. “It’s not the word I would’ve picked. Freakish, maybe. Terrifying, definitely. It must’ve taken you guys forever to set that up! It was—”

“Oh no,” she breathed, dropping her head into her hands. Conrad almost expected her to sink into a nearby chair or go full-on crisscross-applesauce on the floor, so intense was her reaction. She didn’t: If anything, she set her shoulders and squared herself off, assuming the air of a battle-hardened soldier. “Okay. Okay. Okay. Listen to me. I know you think this is about you because you think everything’s about you, but I am telling you, it's not."

upcoming CREEPs project with a title that 100% spoils ALL the surprise of it and thus will not yet be included asdlkfjalskjfklsjdf

“Any word from our housetergeist?”

“Uh, not unless they suddenly share yours and Josh’s love of absolutely inscrutable inside jokes,” Ashley called back, equal measures relieved and disappointed to see the fridge decorated with the same message the guys had put up before their trip: DO THE BARTMAN. Rolling her eyes, she pulled the door open and rummaged around, making a happy little sound when she spotted what she’d wanted. “Hey,” she called again, “are you gonna be upset with me if I drink the last cream soda?”

“Josh might be!”

“I wasn’t asking about Josh, you dip! I was asking about you!”

“Oh. Then, yeah, heartbroken. I-I-I don’t know how I’ll survive! I might have to reassess this whole relationship thing. Honestly, I can’t believe you’d do something as heinous as drink the last cream soda! I thought I meant something to you!”

She grabbed the can and shut the door, groaning, “Ha ha,” before stopping cold.

The fridge magnets had moved.

a fic that started as a joke post but now has almost 40k words written for it

“Hey,” he said, giving the grate a hard shake. They all winced, pulling even farther away until they pretty much fell on top of each other. “Chill. They’re fuckin’ dead. Shit’s fine. Don’t be weird about it.”

Good deed done, he turned back around to rejoin the guys, and—fuck.

Right away, Bobby knew he didn’t like the way Chris was sizing them up. He didn’t know why he didn’t like it, he just knew it spelled trouble, one way or another.

Jack seemed to agree with him. “No,” he said long before Chris even opened his mouth. “Whatever it is you’re brewing in that snowglobe you call a skull, quit while you’re ahead. Or while you still have a head.”

“Your plan didn’t work.” For someone who usually stayed at base during their hunts on account of ‘not wanting to die the world’s stupidest death,’ Chris sure was sticking his finger awfully close to Jack’s face. That was biting range. And Jack could move quick when he wanted to. “Your plan worked even less,” he continued, moving that finger to Travis’s face instead, and Jesus Christ, that was worse!

Travis didn’t answer him. Not at first. He sucked his teeth, though. Stared at Chris’s finger. Probably thought about breaking it off if he didn’t get it out of his face. “If you don’t get that outta my face, I will break it off, so help me God.”

Yeah. Checked out.

[toastedwrittenthoughts]

Cutting Strings.

OKAY. THIS SONG HITS DIFFERENT!

With Buddy dealing with his.. I'm gonna call it 'revelation', I can't express how much I am pleased with the fact that he sees everyone in a new light. INCLUDING HIMSELF!

Who has been playing a part? Who is Real? Who is Fake? Am I the ones who's fake? Is anything about me real?! Have I ever made any REAL decisions?

"AM I JUST A VESSEL FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUND"- Holy. SHit. No joke, that hit me WAY too hard in a relatable way..

"I'm a product of pulling strings".... Damn...

'I might be a damn fraud but at least I'm changing.'... Well, I guess... but then again, you are the one that said that 'change doesn't happen in a day' in your campaign speech.. Would explain why you don't come clean at every opportunity to do so... Points for baby steps.

Then again, he doesn't want to lose his reputation.. Sounds much like his dad... And I hate to be that person but... "A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it." - Jean de la Fontaine.

The hands that hold him up on the wall don't let him fully fall until he roughly pulls away, looking pissed.. (Low-key giving me Labyrinth vibes though.)

When the hands come back out, he doesn't take them. Walks away instead.

And when he pulls the strings down and everyone drops...Like fucking puppets... OoOoh... LITTERAL CHILLS!

How he can barely breathe as he walks off stage.. His. World. Is. Rocked.

'I'm standing on the brink of being who everyone thinks'... Something about this makes me think of both good and bad things.. Like he could fall either way... Time will tell.

And the way he snaps at his father saying that it wasn't/isn't what he wanted... Thatta boy! Show some fire!

Okay, with that said, I need to add something else.

Buddy is a great foil for Richie.

With Richie, he doesn't try hard very much because he is told that he doesn't need to; due to the fact that he wont become much of anything except manual labor.

(To be clear I'm paraphrasing)

Richie has had a good part of his life dealing with these sucker punch blows to him, his status, his life, his family, his friends, his culture and after thousands of them, he's used to it and has almost accepted/expected it. He expects the punches to keep on coming.

Buddy NEVER has. He's 'tried' but he's never really had too because the work was already partially done for him. I like to think that where Richie just keeps getting pummeled in life, Buddy has been in the waiting wings for the sucker punch to the solar plexus that knocks you outta commission. Its had YEARS of buildup. And since he's had no prior dealings with this kind of emotional+ mental battery, the one hit is a doozy. His life is a (partially) fabricated lie. And by someone he trusts! His dad!

Think what you will, but these guys are two sides of the same coin.

One who thinks he tries but has never needed too. And One who can try but no one wants him too.

What's worse... Continues gut punches that never stop or one tsunami sized one that devastates you?

[fabien-euskadi]

Sunflower and petunia, please :)

Sunflower - name 5 things that make you smile.

Considering the devastating events of the last few days, let’s say that I am really struggling to find a single reason smile (or, at least, not to cry). To be honest, I haven’t found one single thing that could make me pull a big, genuine smile - a smile just like the ones I remember from my late friend.

But I have to reply to this, haven’t I?

So, let’s give it a go, shall we?

Thing number one: When I search for a new place in a new town and, for a split second, I dare to think: “Hey, I can start all over again, and, this time, things can work out”. I know that I have done it many times before, and, for very different reasons, I failed every single time. But, as you said today, “you've got more fortitude than you realize” (yes, I am quoting you). And, somehow, you are absolutely correct. While many people spend all their lives in the exact place where they were born, I am never afraid of the unknown. Because the unknown is a potential bringer of hope, and hope is but the possibility of sheer happiness. What I am most afraid of is what I already know.

Thing number two: Eight hours of sleep - straight, please (with zero dreams, if you don’t mind). Sadly, that’s not what I am getting lately. After a long absence, non-sensical dreams are backand so are the panic attacks. And, even when I don’t need to set an alarm clock to wake me up, the truth is that my sleep is always insufficient, no matter what I do. So, I have learned to appreciate a decent sleep - because I know it is a rare thing to get.

Thing number three: Being able to write a poem and finish it. Actually, I wrote one today - in English. I may have split feelings regarding that poem, but, at least, I am writing again to smooth the pain. All things considered, baby steps are still steps in the right direction, correct?

Thing number four: Having a PhD class that isn’t utter and absolutely horrid - a class that doesn’t make me feel even more depressed and/or with a panic attack. Yes, this demonstrates how low the bar is. “Not absolutely horrid” became a synonym of “thing that makes me smile”. Sadly, even this (a non-absolutely-horrid-class) is not happening lately. Maybe the fact that I will not have any classes this week is a reason to celebrate.

Thing number five: Cloudless full moon nights. As you know, I live in the depths of the Iberian countryside, and the full moon means I shall have enough natural light to walk my dog (it hurts like hell not to be able to write it in the plural anymore) on my farm bymidnight (or later). I know this is a very unassuming reason for satisfaction, but, at least, is far more convincing than the previous one.

But there us a six thing that makes me smile: when I realize I still have a few friends that care. They are not too many, but they exist. And that means the world to me. Especially during these hard times.

Petunia - What is something many don’t know about you?

Oh, there are many things most people don’t know about me. That’s why my hair is so big - it’s full of secrets!

Ok, but here goes a story that few people know.

This happened when I was six or seven. One day (actually, afternoon), I crossed one of the busiest streets of Lisbon (the Castilho Street, I suppose) at rush hour - the light was red, and I didn’t even look at the incoming traffic. Not surprisingly, I was hit by a car (as far as I remember, it was an old BMW 1602 - but I don’t recall if it was white or silver). I remember clearly the impact and struggling to breathe after it. But I was alright - no broken bones, no bruises, zero damage.

My mom had a friend who had a son with roughly the same age as me - also an only child, like Mr. Fabien Euskadi (a.k.a. Miguel). He also crossed a street without looking. He also had the misfortune of being hit by a car. But this kid wasn’t so lucky: he died. If there is a god, he didn’t want me to go (or even to get wounded), but the same cannot be said about that other kid. Why? Considering that, many years later, I would be on my way trying to find the right spot to end my life, there is a sad irony about all this story.

I was given an opportunity to live a life that, years later, I was ready to throw away; meanwhile, someone else could have lived that life instead of me.

(thank you very much, my friend Pops - and may May be graceful with you)

[alohdark]

So yesterday I got home from work, showered, ate, and then fell so fast asleep I don't remember going to bed.

Anyway, here's a WIP I hadn't ever posted as an apology for missing yesterdays Fluffuary post.

Set in the same AU as to Welcome Home

“For some reason I’m not allowed to kill other members of the PTA.”

Matt stared at his husband half shocked, half incredulous.

Matt takes one PTA meeting off because he's sick and his husband comes home threatening murder. Unfortunately, as he thinks of the women of the PTA, he can believe it. Those women can drive someone to homicide and, depending on the jury, it could be seen as justified.

But he couldn’t let Frank know that. So he sighed and turned off the tv, feeling the bed shift as a new weight settles down on the other side.

“What happened?” Matt asked, moving onto his knees and reaching out towards where Frank was sitting. His hand reached Frank’s back, tense but slowly relaxing.

“It’s that damn Susan.” Frank said. “What a Bitch. She’s worse than a viper, yeah. At least they have the decency to warn you before they strike.”

Matt laughed softly and moved to his knees to give Frank a gentle shoulder rub.

“She said she was so happy to see how well Lisa was doing for coming from such a ‘diverse’ home.” Frank continued. “But the way she said it, you know, I’ve had drill sergeants that weren’t nearly as insulting.”

Matt stilled. Susan has said some awful things. She’s never forgiven Matt for the ‘I *heart* My Marine’s Cock’ bumper sticker. But no one goes after their children. No one insults their baby girl. His mind raced for all the ways he could make trouble for their neighbor and not have it link back to them.

Frank’s hand gently squeezing his own brought him roughly out of his haze of anger. “Babe,” He said softly. “Yeah, she is such a bitch, and she has too many lackeys on the board, but after she walked away you’re friend Karen came over. Told me Susan’s never had the balls to talk shit like that when you’re around. Seems like you’re a bit of a vigilante keeping the mob boss from running wild in the PTA.”

Matt chuckled. He has been known to take Susan down a peg or two. Sometimes being a lawyer has its benefits outside the courtroom. PTA meetings can be more tense than plea and settlement negotiations.

“You know, babe, I think it’s time for a new bumper sticker on my truck.” Frank said, seemingly at random. “Maybe something saying something like ‘My Lawyer Sucks’ with some classy red lips on it.”

Matt broke into giggles, falling into his husbands back and muffling his laughter in the nape of his neck.    

[etherbonded]

uhhh drabble of young mamakechi and her very strained relationship with her family

GENERAL CONTENT: Dysfunctional family, Attempted Guilt-tripping, Slut-Shaming, and potentially more.

" I failed you as a mother more than I thought. The baby Hima I thought raised would NEVER be as stupid as this. She was a brilliant student with exceptional grades. You were perfect, and then you had to go get pregnant out of wedlock? Do you realize how that makes you look? It makes you look like a WHORE and it makes me look like I raised you like that. "

Himari couldn't believe that this was her mother talking, the same mother that always apologized for her dad and her's constant arguments, the same woman who claimed that she'd always love her. And now here she is telling her how she makes them look bad. As if they didn't make themselves look bad already.

" God get off my back okay! He was using protection! How was I supposed to know in that the condom was faulty?! Why are you blaming me and not HIM for not checking?! Why is it my fault!! "

Himari is on the near verge of tears, how could her mother truly be saying such things? It's not her fault! None of this is!

" Don't talk to your mother that way you good for nothing slut! God I told you that you've been to soft on her Homura, you see the way she treats you? That's because she's so self entitled with how gentle you were with her. Look what's happened now because of it! "

Of course her father has to chime in and remind her mother why he hates her so much, why he hates the fact Himari isn't a sniveling little baby who won't stand up for herself. He's always hated her, he's always made it so very apparent. To think, this man was her father.

" Oh so we want to talk about self entitled? Why don't we talk about the fact you think just because you're my father you believe you're entitled to saying whatever you want to me without consequence! Let's talk about how you work mom dry but never do work yourself and how you're a lazy bum- "

" ENOUGH, that is enough Himari. Get out of my house, you've hurt this family enough, with your cruel words and your choice to keep that cursed child. Not to mention your choice to not try and marry the man, for at least then your child won't be considered lesser. He'll grow up to hate you for it. "

That's it, that's Himari's final straw. She cannot be bothered to care anymore, fuck this, and especially fuck her parents. " He may be considered lesser, but at least he won't have to deal with the shitty arguments I always did when you and this asshat did! And if he does then fine, that's his choice. Just like it's mine to choose that I don't need either of you, so I'll gladly leave your life. For, I'd rather spend my life out on the streets than live with someone who hates me and I hate back. "

Himari grabs the bags she stuffed full of things that she wanted, one of them being slung over she shoulder and the other being roughly pulled out as it's a rolling luggage container she had been given as a gift. She practically storms out of the house that had once been home and hears her father scream something incomprehensible to her anger fueled veins. She's walking off to god knows where.

And that was the last she saw of them for a long time.