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greensydney · 4 years ago

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Wellness Segments from The Friend Zone Podcast

This is where I’ll be listing Fran’s Wellness Segments. It will be updated regularly. Any specific products/stores mentioned will be linked :)

Ep. 1: It’s Ok to Log Off

Being the first episode, Fran starts us off easy with a loving suggestion to take a social media break. At the time of this recording, “Twitterless Assante” was reaping the benefits of taking mindless twitter scrolling out of his life for some time.

Ep. 2: Family Matters

This is where we start digging in and doing the work. Here, Fran asks us to look within to resolve family disputes that have gone unchecked. Have the talks that you have been avoiding, even if it feels uncomfortable. Remember to come from a place of compassion when approaching loved ones, and to not take anything personally. Which is a theme throughout many of the early episodes, as it’s the 2nd agreement in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, one of the many books Fran has suggested.

Ep. 3: Take 5

Work on building and maintaining a healthy morning routine. This helps set the tone of the day. By leaving our phone out of this part of the day, we can avoid things like waking up to a long, angry text or some other drama and letting that guide how the rest of day goes. Basically, set the tone of your day before taking in information from anyone else.

Ep. 4: Surrender

Meditate, meditate, meditate.

Osho books are great for learning more about quieting the mind, as recommended by Fran. Sadhguru is another great teacher who I look to for insight on meditation, mindfulness, parenting, and just life in general. He has a channel on YouTube with tons of videos. Fran also recommends trying Mala beads to assist with meditation, or maybe journaling afterwards. She really just stresses the importance of beginning a meditation practice, without fear of doing it “right” or “wrong”.

Ep. 5: Even Martha Went to Jail

No clear-cut Wellness Segment for this week, but the main gist of things was: create what you want, what feels good for you. Critics will appear for everyone, no matter how great they are, so do you. Don’t keep yourself from creating things because of fear of how others will receive it.

Ep. 6: Tacos & Quickweave

In your journal, dissect the relationship you are in. Asking questions like, “Why are you with this person? Who are you *really* doing this relationship for?” For singles, ask questions like, “What am I *really* looking for, in a person? How do I want to feel when I’m with them? How do I want to show up in their lives? How do I want them to show up in my life?” For those resistant to relationships, ask yourself why and really work through it to get those answers that you seek. ~meditate, meditate, meditate ~

Ep. 7: The Choir & The Competition Are Out

Parents: Sit with our children and start asking them questions about their interests. Fran shares how she was impacted by her mom not being more encouraging about her becoming a singer, so she wants us to know how important it is to truly listen when our kids ask to pursue new things, even if it isn’t exactly what we pictured for them.

For everyone, even those who don’t have children or maybe they aren’t quite at the age to start discussing these things: we were all a child at some point. Many people can benefit from asking ourselves if the profession we are in is for you, or if you were just trying to please our own parents. It’s never too late to begin learning more about anything that excites you.

Ep. 8: Fitness Regine Hunter

(I’m pretty sure they purposely didn’t spell it “regime” because of the difficulty for many in pronouncing the word. lmao)

In this episode, Fran speaks on the importance of holistic health and wellbeing, sharing how much it has shaped who she is and improved her life. She wants us to really sit with ourselves and think about the things we want to work on. Ask, “What can I do to ensure that I’m being the most beautiful *me* possible?” From skin and hair care, to diet, to fitness, to the way we talk to ourselves or others. All the little things that make up holistic living. No quick fixes! We’re here to werrrrrrk, hunty.

“Forget the internet for a second. Forget what the Instagram models look like, we’re talking about YOU...” - Fran the MF Goat.

Implement a fitness regime that works for you. Maybe it’s part of your morning routine, maybe it’s an after dinner thing; everyone gets to choose what is best for them and that’s part of the beauty of this life. :) Try a few things and see what works. There is an emphasis on the importance of starting slow, allowing your mind and body to get used to new activity. Fran started off with walking, increasing her distance over time, and then turned that into jogging when it felt right for her. Blogilates and Yoga With Adriene are YouTube channels she mentions here. I have been hooked to yoga ever since trying a few videos from Adriene. Yoga by Biola is another great channel to check out. Biola has this video, “Restorative Yoga for Collective Trauma”, which I love. I learned of her from The Friend Zone earlier in 2020.

Skin and Hair: Check out Frans YouTube channel to see all the informative videos she has on all-natural beauty and health tips. Personally, I really like Naptural85 for hair videos as my curl pattern is very similar to hers. Click around on suggested videos to find the ones that speak to you.

Ep. 9: Don’t Forget the Feet

OIL UP! From head-to-toe. Get that moisture. Especially in these colder months. Hands, feet, nails, toenails...literally everywhere. Dustin cannot get over the importance of the feet. Fran says this aztec healing clay is great for dry, cracked feet, and she hinted at its ability to fix some facial skin woes as well. Extra Fran tip: put a small amount of oil on your nail beds before painting them. This protects the skin and promotes nail growth. I tried this myself and it’s a game changer in my nail health! They used to get cracks in them once they start getting to a certain length, but if i keep them oiled up, they are smooth as precious little stones. :)

Ep. 10: A$AP Shirley Caesar

This episode reminds us that finances, too, can impact our total feeling of well-being. The Friends all want us to get our finances in order, taking the tiniest of baby steps, if needed. Fran’s 3 things to cut back on:

Eating Out

Online Shopping

Places like Target, where you go for 1 thing and leave with a full cart.

Making these sacrifices adds up. The goal is that eventually, any big things that are weighing on our mental due to finances can more easily be dealt with.

Ep. 11: And I’m Telling You, I’m NOT Going!

It’s all about skin-care in this wellness segment! Starting with what goes into your body, and ending with what goes on your body. First off: DRINK LOTS OF WATER! This not only promotes healthy skin but as we all know, it’s just good for the body in general. The body runs nice and smoothly when it’s hydrated from the inside-out.

If you need to cut down on your caffeine intake (I’m right there with ya), Fran suggested Yerba Mate. It’s a natural source of caffeine and much cleaner than what comes in other energy drinks. I must say, I feel like the naturally occurring caffeine just hits different. I was hyyype the first few times I got a Yerba Mate instead of my usual orange Red Bull! Energy drink isn’t the only form to get your Yerba fix, thankfully. It’s sold as a loose leaf tea, or in bagged tea as well. I LOVE coffee though, and I am not giving that up so easy. I find that bringing mindfulness to my habits with it, helps me to not consume too much.

Now, for the outside of the body: washing and moisturizing daily is imperative. This may be obvious to some, but it can also feel difficult for those with a really busy schedule. I know for me, as a mom, there has been many times when I only had one chance to take a shower on a given day, and if I didn’t take it, I was always sorry. Or I would take a rushed, half-effort shower and get dressed immediately after without oil, lotion, anything. Having a routine in place for daily washing and moisturizing (that works with my sporadic life) helps me make sure it won’t get missed. Again, as with episode 9, OIL UP! Coconut oil is a great choice, but my skin just drinks it up like water. Sesame oil is a nice alternative because it’s a bit thicker. It was hard for me to get used to smelling like a huge sesame seed though, not gonna lie. But there are so many different oils and butters out there to love our bodies with, just use some trial and error to find which one(s) work best for you.

Last thing: Bedding. Change it at least once a week. Get on the silk pillowcase train! Or if you real fancy, like Fran, get you a full-on silk sheet set. Cotton sheets soak up all the moisture from our skin that we work so hard and lovingly on.

Ep. 12: The Shut Down Mixtape

House cleaning time! Clean your fridge, clean your closets, clean your desk drawers. Clean everything! Trying to especially bring focus to areas that are often overlooked in your regular daily cleaning. By doing this, we clear out old energy, removing heaviness from our homes that we may not even realize is there. I personally can vouch that this helps with anxiety and even lifts my depression symptoms as well. It feels good when the space I live in looks and smells nice, so taking the effort is more than worthwhile.

Ep. 13: Oh God…

Get in touch with what religion/spirituality mean to YOU. This one was hard for me because I wasn’t raised with much knowledge of (or respect for, sadly) religion. As I grew, I became super interested in the various religions and how they affect the lives of others - good or bad. I’ve now learned to adapt my own spiritual practices that support me and help me get by. And this is life changing.

Ep. 14: Say It Like You Mean It

Here, we are instructed to find out what our individual love language is. This comes from the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The 5 Love Languages are:

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

You may already have an idea of what your primary love language is, but you can get some more information on that by reading the book or by taking quizzes on the book’s website. Knowing your love language, as a single, can help you define what you need from a partner. As someone in a relationship, it can help both partners learn how to best make sure everyone knows they are loved and valued.

Ep. 15: Yo Mama

Scalp Care for Winter Weather!

½ Cup Olive Oil ~ Seals in moisture

2 Tbsp. Honey (Fran uses Raw honey) ~ Creates pretty shine

½ Cup Coconut Milk ~ Adds protein

½ an Avocado ~ Healthy fat

½ a Banana ~ Softens hair

Blend all ingredients into a creamy conditioner, which should come out a nice light greenish color.

I keep forgetting coconut milk at the store or else I’d have been tried this one, smh *face palm* But I will edit to add my review after I finally do this. :)

Ep. 16: Non Profit & Chill

This episode had no segments, but we can still gain a wellness tip from it. Recorded right after Fran returned from a trip to Africa, she had a ton of insight to share on why it’s so important to be an ethical consumer. This episode was a great one to re-listen to as it reminded me that I am reading labels and the “about” pages on brand’s websites for a valid reason that is important to me, not just following trends. Dang imposter syndrome, always trying to step in and ruin everything (shoutout to the Friend Zone for teaching me about that as well, in a later episode.)

Fair Trade Errything !!!

Ep. 17: There’s A Song For That

No wellness segment this week, per say, but again I’ll summarize the episode to make it wellness for us all. The friends basically dode over their favorite break-up songs, from the deepest of soul, to the pettiest of rap songs. Many genres listed, and many bangers. This episode is a great listen for those going through a breakup, or even if you’re a big fan of the episodes where the Friends just let loose and have fun.

Ep. 18: Don’t You Go To Work?

Inspired by Assante and his newly purchased stones, which he is carrying safely in his pocket, Fran suggested that us listeners get in on the magic as well by getting our own stones. Starting with Citrine. This stone is a light orange color, and can be found online or in local crystal stores in most cities. Often referred to as “the merchants stone”, Citrine is believed to attract success. Fran offered the idea of laying it on some money, because she did it and got a random check in the mail soon after...And I kid you not - I did it, and the saaame thing happened to me. I was shook and beyond grateful!

Other stones mentioned here are Lapis Lazuli and Black Tourmaline. Lapis is a pretty, royal blue shade, usually with gold flakes in it. Lapis is known as the “communication stone”. Black Tourmaline is, you guessed it, black, and often found in shiny pieces. Fran says she keeps one of these by her bedside to absorb negative thoughts; letting it cleanse her energy before bed.

Stores mentioned on this episode: Rock Star, and Namaste shop. Both New York based but have online shopping available. Personally, and this is gonna sound real woo-woo, but I prefer picking out stones in person because then I can actually feed off of their energy to pick the right one for me. Those living in a small town, there is probably a crystal shop not too far away.

Ep. 19: The Friend Zone & The Read Mash Up Pt. 1

Wellness this week: be messy and silly with your friends. For me, I don’t currently have any real life friends to hang out with, plus COVID, so my family gets to enjoy all my silly mess. Life just cannot be lived being serious 100% of the time!

Ep. 20: 2015, I’ma Let You Finish, But 2016…

I loved this episode because it brings us back to our journals. Fran asks the guys and us listeners to reflect on two simple, but powerful questions to answer at the end of each year:

What are 3 things you discovered about yourself this year that you love? Things that you feel will propel you into the next year, as a person, career-wise, and as a whole. Write freely about how you plan on maintaining and evolving.

What are 3 things you discovered about yourself this year that you did not like? Maybe some of these things are hard to face. Reflect on how you’ve allowed them to hold you back and what you are doing to adjust them.

#friendzonepod #wellness #holisticliving #forthe #hoodhearted

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gallavictorious · 4 years ago

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Reading Tag Game

I was tagged by the indomitable @pathoftheranger - cheers! Took me a while to get back to this, but I was glad for the tag! <3

Hardcover or paperback [I like them nice and easy to carry and lift and toss around.]

Rent or buy [How do you even rent a book? Like everyone else, I assume 'borrow/lend' is implied here, and while I love to buy and own books, the fact that I work at a library leads to me lending a great many books.]

Read in silence or read with music [I mean, it depends, but reading while listening to music and having a nice cup of tea is my natural state, so.]

Stand-alone or series [I like long books and I cannot lie! I love losing myself in a nice, long series – but I do read a lot of stand-alones, because a lot of series are certainly long but not very nice.]

Annotations or pristine pages [Well, I wouldn't say pristine, 'cause I tend to spill coffee and tea and whatever all over the books I read, but I don't make any notes. Not out of any notions of 'you must not ruin the book!' but because I have little interest in making notes.]

Ebook or physical copy [Considering how much fanfic I read on my phone, you'd think I'd be a huge fan of e-books, but no. I only read them if I need to get hold of something quickly and can't get my hands on a physical copy.]

Dog ears or bookmarks [Rarely actual bookmarks, but a scrap of paper or whatever I've got lying around. Or I just leave the book upside down, or I memorize what page I'm on.]

Mismatched series or complete set [If possible, yes.]

Cover matters or you don’t judge [It matters, but not a great deal. I'll not turn down a book because of a bad cover – but will occasionally pick up a random one because of a good one.]

Lend books or keep them to yourself [I've had to replace several of my favourite books because I've lent them to people and never got them back and can't remember what friend I lent them to... ]

Enjoy literary classics or despise them [I mean, it really depends on the books, doesn't it? I love 1984; found Crime and Punishment endlessly boring.]

Browse shops or order online [Love browsing in book stores, and also like to support them, so these days I very rarely buy books online.]

Read reviews or go in blind [I'll form my own opinion without subjecting myself to anyone's first. But if I really liked or really loathed the book, I tend to look up reviews otherwise.]

Unreturned books or clean library record [So many unreturned books... And since I work at the damned library, you'd think just bringing the books with me to work would be easy enough, but no. I do make an effort with the books that other people are waiting for, though.]

Reread or once is enough [I love to reread my favourites and do it a lot!]

Fanfic enthusiast or stickler for canon [I tend to prefer canon-compliant fic, though... ]

Must read the book before seeing the movie or order doesn’t matter [Yeah, I don't care. I am more likely to read the original novel if I liked the movie than I am to watch the movie if I liked the original book, though.]

Neat bookshelves or messy bookshelves [Kind of neat? My partner and I keep our book collections seperate, since she wants to sort them in accordance with the Swedish library classification system, and I prefer to sort my according to genre – my own private genres, such as ”fantasy novels in English that I really like”, ”Star Wars” and ”mainstream litterature in Swedish”.]

Skip ahead or resist temptation [If I'm reading fanfiction and it's dragging on, I might skip ahead to see if that thing I'm eager to get to will be happening sooner rather than later, but never with books.]

Read aloud or in your head [Mostly in my head, but I enjoy reading aloud – and do it sometimes for work – so if I come across a particularly beautiful passage I might read it aloud. Poetry, I often read aloud.]

Guess plot twists or never see them coming [I guess that's just what happens when you read a lot; you get harder to surprise. Which is a shame, because I LOVE a good plot twist!]

I have lost track of who was and wasn’t tagged in this, and I think the people I interact with the most have done it already, but if @iwannabewhereyouaremickey @gallagher-and-milkovich @livinginsunnyhell and @bookstvandfanfic wanna give it a go I’d love to read your answers. <3

#personal #tag games

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ill-will-editions · 5 years ago

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THE FUNERAL OF SALVATORE RICCIARDI: Celebrating a friend and comrade, while taking over public space again

WU MING

A final farewell to Salvo, to the songs of Su, communists of the capital! "This rebellious city, never tamed by ruins and bombings…"

Of all the measures taken during this emergency, the ban on funeral services is among the most dehumanizing.

In the name of what idea of "life" have these measures been taken? In the prevailing rhetoric of these past few weeks, life has been reduced almost entirely to the survival of the body, to the detriment of any other dimension of it. In this there is a very strong thanatophobic connotation (from the Greek Thanatos, or death), a morbid fear of dying.

Thanatophobia has permeated our society for decades. Already in 1975, the historian Philippe Ariès, in his landmark History of Death in the West, noted that death, in capitalist societies, had been "domesticated", bureaucratized, partly deritualized and separated as much as possible from the living, in order to "spare [...] society the disturbance and too strong emotion" of dying, and maintain the idea that life "is always happy, or at least must always look like it”.

To this end, he continues, it was strategic "to shift the site where we die. We no longer die at home, among family members, we die at the hospital, alone [...] because it has become inconvenient to die at home". Society, he said, must "realize as little as possible that death has occurred". This is why many rituals related to dying are now considered embarrassing and in a phase of disuse.

Even before the state of emergency we are experiencing, the rituality of dying had been reduced to a minimum. That is why we have always been so impressed by the manifestations of its re-emergence. Think of the worldwide success of a film like The Barbarian Invasions by Denys Arcand.

Forty-five years ago, Ariès wrote: "no one has the strength or patience to wait for weeks for a moment [death, Editor's note] that has lost its meaning". And what does the 2003 Canadian film depict if not a group of people waiting for weeks - in a context of conviviality and re-emerging secular rituality - the passing of a friend?

Eight years ago we undertook, together with many others, to set up an environment of conviviality and secular rituality around a dear friend and companion, Stefano Tassinari, in the weeks leading up to his death and in the ceremonies that followed. Much of our questioning on this subject dates back to that time.

If the rituality linked to dying was already reduced to a minimum, the ban on attending the funeral of a loved one had finally annihilated it.

Back on March 25th we shared a beautiful letter from a parish priest from Reggio, Don Paolo Tondelli, who was dismayed at the scenes he had to witness:

"And so I find myself standing in front of the cemetery, with three children of a widowed mother who died alone at the hospital because the present situation does not allow for the assistance of the sick. They cannot enter the cemetery, the measures adopted do not allow it. So they cry: they couldn't say goodbye to their mother when she gave up living, they can't say goodbye to her even now while she is being buried. We stop at the cemetery gate, in the street, I am bitter and angry inside, I have a strong thought: even a dog is not taken to the grave like this. I think we have exaggerated for a moment in applying the rules in this way, we are witnessing a dehumanization of essential moments in the life of every person; as a Christian, as a citizen I cannot remain silent [...] I say to myself: we are trying to defend life, but we are running the risk of not conserving the mystery that is so closely linked to it".

This "mystery" is not the exclusive prerogative of the Christian faith nor of those possessing a religious sensibility, since it does not necessarily coincide with the belief in the immortal soul or anything else, but something that we all ask ourselves, when we ask, 'what does it mean to live?' 'What distinguishes living from merely moving on or simply not dying?

That said, those who are believers and observers have experienced the suspension of ritual ceremonies - including funeral masses - as an attack on their form of life. It is no coincidence that among the examples of clandestine organization that we have heard about these days, there is the catacombal continuation of Christian public life.

We have direct evidence that in many parishes the faithful continued to attend mass, despite the signs on the doors saying they were suspended. One finds the "hard core" of the parishioners in the refectory of the convent, or in the rectory, or in the sacristy and in some cases in the church. Twenty, thirty people, summoned by word of mouth. In particular last Thursday, for the Missa in coena Domini.

The same can be said of funerals. In this case as well we have direct testimonies of priests who officiated small rites, with close family members, without publicity.

In the past few days, we have identified three types of disobedience to some of the stupidest and most inhumane features of the lock-down.

Individual disobedience

The individual gesture is often invisible but occasionally it is showy, as in the case of that runner on the deserted beach of Pescara, hunted by security guards for no reason that has any epidemiological basis. The video went viral, and had the effect of demonstrating the absurdity of certain rules and their obtuse application.

Continuing to run was, objectively and in its outcome, a very effective performance, an action of resistance and "conflictual theatre". Continuing to run distinguishes qualitatively that episode from the many others which offer "only" further evidence of repression. As Luigi Chiarella "Yamunin" wrote, the video brings to mind,

"a passage from Crowds and Power by Elias Canetti on grasping, which is indeed a gesture of the hand but also and above all is 'the decisive act of power where it manifests itself in the most evident way, from the most remote times, among animals and among men'. Later, he adds - and here comes the part pertinent to the episode of the runner - that 'there is nevertheless a second powerful gesture, certainly no less essential even if not so radiant. Sometimes one forgets, under the grandiose impression aroused by grasping, the existence of a parallel and almost equally important action: not letting oneself be grasped". The video [...] reminded me how powerful and liberating it is not to let yourself be caught. Then I don't forget that if you run away you do it to come back with new weapons, but in the meantime you must not let yourself be grabbed."

Clandestine group disobedience

These are the practices of the parishioners who organize themselves to go to mass on the sly, of the family members of a dearly departed person who agree with the parish priest to officiate a funeral rite... but also of the groups who continue in one way or another to hold meetings, of the bands who continue to rehearse, and of the parents who organize themselves together with a teacher to retrieve their children's school books. It's an episode that happened in a city in Emilia, which we recounted a few days ago.

In order to retrieve the books from a first grade school that had been left at school for the last month, a teacher came to the school, took the books out hidden in a shopping cart, and entrusted them to two parents who live near a baker and a convenience store respectively, so that the other parents could go and pick them up with the "cover" of buying groceries, avoiding possible fines. The books were given to the individual parents by lowering them with a rope from a small balcony and stuffed into shopping bags or between loaves of bread, as if they were hand grenades for the Resistance. In this way those children will at least be able to follow the program on the book with the teacher in tele-education, and the parents will be able to have support for the inevitable homeschooling.

After a phase of shock in which unconditional obedience and mutual guilt prevailed, sectors of civil society - and even "interzone" between institutions and civil society - are reorganizing themselves "in hiding". In this reorganization it is implicit that certain restrictions are considered incongruous, irrational, indiscriminately punitive.

Furthermore: at the beginning of the emergency, parental chats were, in general, among the worst hotbeds of panic, culture of suspicion, toxic voice messages, calls for denunciation. The fact that now some of them are also being used to circumvent delusional prohibitions - why shouldn't a teacher be able to retrieve the textbooks left in the classroom? why should a dad or a mom have to resort to subterfuge, self-certification, etc. to retrieve those books? - is yet another proof that the "mood" has changed.

Provocative group disobedience

The performance of the trio from Rimini - a man and two women - who had sex in public places and put the videos online, accompanied with insults hurled at the police, is part of this rarefied case history.

The police have since held a grudge against the case, as exemplified by their official social channels.

The only thing missing from this catalog of disobedience is, of course...

Claimed group disobedience

Here we have in mind visible, and no longer merely clandestine collective disobedience.

For a moment we feared that the fascists would be the first to bring it into play. Forza Nuova attempted to leverage the dismay of believers in the prospect of an Easter “behind closed doors,” and without the Via Crucis. However, when leaflets circulated calling for a procession to St. Peter's Basilica tomorrow (Sunday 4.12), accompanied by mottos such as "In hoc signo vinces" and "Rome will not know an Easter without Christ", they were dismayed to find that it wasn't the Fascists who were behind them. Instead, it was our comrades and friends from Radio Onda Rossa and the Roman liberatory movement who, this morning, in S. Lorenzo, greeted Salvatore Ricciardi with what in effect became the first political demonstration in the streets since the beginning of the emergency.

Salvatore Ricciardi, 80 years old, was a pillar of the Roman antagonist left. A former political prisoner, for many years he was involved in fights inside prisons and against prison conditions. He did so in a number of books and countless broadcasts on Radio Onda Rossa, which yesterday dedicated a moving four-hour live special to him. He continued to do so until even a few days ago, on his blog Contromaelstrom, writing about imprisonment and coronavirus.

Headlines about this morning's events can already be read in the mainstream press. A precise chronicle, accompanied by some valuable remarks, can be heard in this phone call from an editor of Radio Onda Rossa [here]. Among other things, our comrade points out: "here there are rows of people standing in front of the butchers shop for days and days, yet we cannot even bid farewell to the dead? [...] We're in the open air, while in Rome there's not even a requirement to wear a mask and yet many people had masks, and there were only a few people anyway"...Yet the police still threatened to use a water cannon to disperse a funeral ritual. The part of the district where the seditious gathering took place was closed and those present were detained by police.

During this emergency, we’ve seen so many surreal scenes - today, to offer just one example, a helicopter took to the sky, wasting palates of public money, in pursuit of a single citizen walking on a Sicilian beach - and even still, this morning's apex had not yet been reached.

For our part, we say kudos and solidarity to those who run, and are out running great risks to claim their right to live together - in public space that they have always crossed with their bodies and filled with their lives - out of pain and mourning for the loss of Salvo, but also out of happiness for having had him as a friend and companion.

"Because the bodies will return to occupy the streets. Because without the bodies there is no Liberation."

That's what we were writing yesterday, taking up the “Song of el-'Aqila Camp”. We reaffirm our belief that it will happen. And the government fears it too: is it by chance that just today Minister Lamorgese warned against "hotbeds of extremist speech"?

In her telephone interview, the Radio Onda Rossa editor says that the current situation, in essence, could last a year and a half. Those in power would like it to be a year and a half without the possibility of protest. They are prepared to use health regulations to prevent collective protests and struggles. Managing the recession with sub iudice civil rights is ideal for those in power.

It is right to disobey absurd rules

We should point out once again that, whilst keeping a population under house arrest, while prohibiting funerals, and de jure or de facto preventing anyone from taking a breath of fresh air - which is almost a unique phenomenon in the West, since only Spain follows us on this - and while shaming individual conduct like jogging, going out "for no reason", or shopping "too many times"...while this whole little spectacle is going on, Italy remains the European country with the highest COVID-19 mortality rate. Good peace of mind for those who spoke of an "Italian model" to be imitated by other countries.

Who is responsible for such a debacle? It is not a hard question to answer: it was the people who did not establish a medical cordon around Alzano and Nembro in time, because the owner asked them not to; it was those who spread infection in hospitals through an impressive series of negligent decisions; those who turned RSAs and nursing homes into places of mass coronavirus death; and lastly, those who, while all this was happening, diverted public attention toward nonsense and harmless behavior, while pointing the finger at scapegoats. This was blameworthy, even criminal behavior.

Everywhere in the world the coronavirus emergency has presented a golden opportunity to restrict the spaces of freedom, settle accounts with unwelcome social movements, profit from the behavior to which the population is forced, and restructure to the detriment of the weakest.

Italy adds to all this its standard surfeit of irrational ravings. The exceptionality of our "model" of emergency management lies in its complete overturning of scientific logic. For it is one thing to impose - for good (Sweden) or for bad (another country at random) - physical distancing as a necessary measure to reduce the possibility of contagion; it is quite another to lock the population in their homes and prevent them from leaving except for reasons verified by police authorities. The jump from one to the other imposed itself alongside the idea - also unfounded - that one is safe from the virus while "indoors", whereas "outdoors" one is in danger.

Everything we know about this virus tells us exactly the opposite, namely that the chances of contracting it in the open air are lower, and if you keep your distance even almost zero, compared to indoors. On the basis of this self-evidence, the vast majority of countries affected by the pandemic not only did not consider it necessary to prevent people from going out into the open air generally, as they did in France, but in some cases even advised against it.

In Italy, this radius is, at best, two hundred meters from home, but there are municipalities and regions that have reduced it to zero meters. For those who live in the city, such a radius is easily equivalent to half a block of asphalt roads, which are much more crowded than in the open space outside the city, if it could be reached. For those who live in the countryside, however, or in sparsely populated areas, a radius of two hundred meters is equally absurd, since the probability of meeting someone and having to approach them is infinitely lower than in an urban center.

Not only that: we have seen that very few countries have introduced the obligation to justify their presence outdoors by authorizations, certificates, and receipts, even calculating the distance from home using Google Maps. This is also an important step: it means putting citizens at the mercy of law enforcement agencies.

We have recorded cases of hypertensive people, with a medical prescription recommending daily exercise for health reasons, fined €500; or people fined because they were walking with their pregnant partner, to whom the doctor had recommended walking. The list of abuses and idiocies would be long, and one may consult our website for further examples.

Legal uncertainty, the arbitrariness of police forces, the illogical limitation of behavior that presents no danger to anyone, are all essential elements of the police state.

Having to respect an illogical, irrational norm is the exercise of obedience and submission par excellence.

It will never be "too soon" to rebel against such obligations.

It must be done, before it’s too late.

Translated by Ill Will Editions

#Italy #COVID19 #defiance #coronavirus #state of exception

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clairebeauchampfan · 4 years ago

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The biter bit. How ‘liberals’ are consuming their own

I’ll begin this post, as one has to nowadays, by reiterating my sincere commitment to whatever righteous cause takes your fancy this week. No one can accuse me of not following the party line, or having ‘wrongthought’. I freely confess to my past, deviationist, splittist opinions, and respectfully ask to be sent to a reeducation camp, preferably among the Uighurs.

Meanwhile, back in what remains of the Free World, I have to laugh when I see so many prominent ‘Liberals’ getting themselves in hot water because of what they have said or done in contravention of the Groupthink that they themselves once so earnestly supported.

For example Steve Bell, the wannabe socialist cartoonist, is being ‘let go’ from his contract with The Guardian, the UK’s Liberal-left paper of record. No doubt partly because of his age (ageism being rife amongst right-on folk) but perhaps also because they are looking for a young BIPOC/woman/LGBTQ+ to replace him, and , let’s face it, Steve Bell is...ahem...an older non-BIPOC non-female person (that’s an old white male, to those who aren’t woke). The Guardian recently published a Bell cartoon showing Priti Patel, the Home Office (Interior) Minister as an ugly cow - or a bull- forgetting that for Hindus, half the UK’s people of South Asian ancestry, the bovine is sacred. Cue an outraged and insulted minority, offended even more when the paper refused to apologise or withdraw the cartoon. Oops! Someone had to go.......Judge for yourself and see if it is sexist and racist at the same time.

Priti Patel

Steve Bell’s Cartoon in The Guardian

In Hollywood, long a bastion of right-on wokeness and insincere platitudinising, non-BIPOC /LGBTQ+ actors have - or so I read in the Daily Strumpet and the Feudal and Reactionary Times- apparently become unemployable, especially if they are of a ‘problematic’ age or sex (that’s old, white and male, again). If you aren’t sufficiently diverse, forget it; there are no up-coming parts for you. At least Historical fiction drama, Outlander has lots of butch men running around in skirts, which goes to show how advanced Scotland was in the 18th Century. No wonder it’s my favourite TV drama, though it does show a problematic lack of diversity among the lead characters. Time for a colour-blind recast? I mean, look what they can do with Henry V. Chiwetel Ejiofor to play Scottish clansman Jamie Fraser! Bring it on!

Manwhile JK Rowling, favourite children’s author, (and, once, famously right-on as a Labour supporter, fierce critic of the wicked Tories and feminist) together with Ur-feminist Germaine Greer, have both been pilloried for apparent Transphobia, for daring to suggest that if a male cuts all his bits off and fills his body up with female hormones to develop breasts (and other more messy surgical treatment) he does not become a woman, per se.It’s a point of view. Personally, if a lad believes he is a lassie and not merely a eunuch, who am I to put a spoke in his wheel? If she is still armed with a male weapon and goes into the Ladies loo only to pee on the seat, on the other hand..... and I really think that teenagers whose raging hormones and developing brains may encourage them to identify as a member of the opposite sex, ought to have to wait until they are a tab more mature before taking an irreversible decision on their sexuality, and shouldn’t be encouraged by adults into taking such action. And Doctors shouldn’t perform such operations on minors. It’s a point of view. Don’t judge me!

I leave you with these extracts from an interesting article from the Sydney Morning Herald, about Twitter mobbing.

“........You can say that ridiculing Twitter’s exotic grievances is an easy sport. Sure, except that years ago it seemed to me that Twitter wasn’t merely reflecting, but engendering and magnifying, a kind of wickedly censorious piety. And one that was increasingly influencing journalists and artists. I’ve had editors more interested in avoiding controversy than in judging the accuracy and value of my work.

Online, piety has no trouble finding affirmation. But the thing with piety is that it stubbornly resists private examination. This might work for the seminary, but it seems ruinous for a writer. Unless you’re an awful one. In which case, this is an optimal environment to work in – so, congratulations on being born to an age that enthusiastically supports your mediocrity.

I suspect the most politically pious in this country won’t be satisfied until certain professions have yielded their specific values and functions in deference to a vision of society that is perfectly liberated from aggravation. It’s a vision of a giant creche.

All contest would be outlawed. Literature would become dogma. Universities would moonlight as daycare centres. The law would abandon its duty to evidentiary thresholds and the presumption of innocence, and become a place of infinite credulity. Comedy would cede the joys of irreverence, and prefer applause to laughter. Journalism would reject curiosity, exploration and corroboration, in favour of politically sanctioned advocacy and “authentic” personal essays. Increasingly, newsrooms will serve their readers a narrow, ideologically curated diet.

I’ve disagreed with plenty of Bari Weiss’s work, but I agreed with her this week when she wrote, in her open letter resigning as an opinion editor at The New York Times, that “a new consensus has emerged in the press ... that truth isn’t a process of collective discovery, but an orthodoxy already known to an enlightened few whose job is to inform everyone else”.

These days, it’s quite common to hear: “It is imperative that a writer of non-fiction write only about experiences they’ve had.” ( I thought it was supposed to apply to writers of fiction) When confronted with this stupidity, I experience my own violent irrationality and consider applying the credo in extremis by torching all newsrooms and the history sections of libraries.

A common defence of the left’s censoriousness – however venomous and trivial – is that it is merely free speech deployed against another’s. That’s fundamentally true, and it’s also disingenuous: the threat of mobilised zealotry is chilling speech.

I can’t prove the negative here – I can’t measure the things not written or said. But I can tell you that I’ve spoken to a few eminent writers about this – authors of works we’d consider classics – who have told me they would not dare to publish the work today. One writer told me she had not slept the night she spoke to me about such things, so fearful was she that I’d publish it. That’s a problem.

It’s also a problem when scholars are sacked for tweeting links to academic papers, when good faith cannot be distinguished from bad, when writers self-censor or have to explain that their insistence on complexity is owed to intellectual integrity and not, say, their belief in white supremacy or Satan.

Increasingly, those who have contributed to a culture of outrageous sensitivity are being impaled on the swords they helped sharpen. Past months have resembled a kind of woke purge. Which makes schadenfreude very easy to indulge, but we’ll need to resist that dubious pleasure lest we perpetuate this cycle of mob-ruled destruction of careers and reputations.

This isn’t either/or. It shouldn’t be truth versus freedom. It shouldn’t be inferred that criticism of this censoriousness means that the critic doesn’t believe there aren’t righteous battles being fought. But you can’t tell me that elements of this online piety aren’t absurd, indulgent or destructive.

You can’t tell me that middle-class folk aren’t publicising interpersonal spats as proof of “systemic violence”, or that we’re not partially cannibalising culture in a moment of historic uncertainty and vast, easily industrialised disinformation. Or that I can’t resist or make fun of Jacobin zealotry. You can’t.

Martin McKenzie-Murray, Sydney Morning Herald

It looks like I’m guilty of schadenfreude myself. Oops!

#twitter mobbing #wrongthought

#outlander

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teensocial786 · 3 years ago

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Black And White Interracial Dating

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the writer and do not reflect the views of The Black Detour.

To be pro-Black is to be for the advancement of Black people in the form of social, political, economic, and cultural issues. This means you are actively fighting for the advancement of Black people in all those domains. It is contradicting to be both pro-Black and in an interracial relationship. Black White Interracial Dating is an app that is looking to revolutionize the dating scene by bringing something new, fresh and exciting to put the spark back in dating.

To be pro-Black is to be for the advancement of Black people in the form of social, political, economic, and cultural issues. This means you are actively fighting for the advancement of Black people in all those domains. It is contradicting to be both pro-Black and in an interracial relationship. I don’t doubt that love can exist between you and your spouse, but love is not purely blind. Love is a function of your priorities and values. If your priorities and values are centered around your culture and Black identity, you will marry within your race. You can’t be pro-Black if your actions don’t reflect that ideology.

Black White Interracial Dating Apk

Well, that can present a steep learning curve that few of us are willing to talk about — especially if you’re a Black woman dating a White man. But given the growing number of interracial dating sites (such as interracialmatch.com and interracialdatingcentral.com) and the fact that interracial marriage within our community has tripled since.

All kinds of men and women are logging onto our website. People from all over the world, of all different races and skin colors, log onto our interracial dating site looking for their one and only. From white men to African American women, to Asian women and black men. Join a website that makes you feel comfortable.

Succinctly, middle class African Americans often experience different dating and marriage patterns, leaving black females with fewer dating and marriage options if they only seek partners within their racial/ethnic group. The primary purpose of this book is to tell the stories of black women who are dating, married to, or divorced from white males.

In response to a thought-provoking question on Twitter: “Black women, would you date a white man,” my response incited controversy. My reply was “No, I’m pro-Black. A white man can’t understand my struggle and definitely can’t love me like a Black man can. I want my children to be Black and proud of it. Black love is beautiful and I refuse to deny myself of it.” I then followed that statement by clarifying “I’m not insinuating that you can’t be half Black and proud of your Blackness. I’m just saying that I want my child to be fully Black & proud of it, which is my prerogative.”

SEE ALSO: Opinion: Will Black Liberation Ever Happen?

Non-Black men don’t understand the struggle or systematic oppression that Black people face. A non-Black man can only be sympathetic to my struggles with no deep level of understanding. Contrastingly, a Black man can empathize with me because we have faced and continue to face similar struggles. My pro-Blackness is defined by loving a Black man. I believe that is one of the highest forms of resistance against the system. It is my choice to prioritize and preserve my own culture and Blackness. This being said, if you date outside your race, I will question the degree to which you are pro-Black.

If you are mixed and a product of an interracial relationship, I recognize you may have identity issues regarding your race. However, if you fully identify with your Black side, you should also be held to the same accord and marry Black. I bring this up because it has been a common retort to my perspective. I address this to say that I have nothing against mixed people and this is not about mixed people. My tweet was not addressed to them, nor was it an attack on their Blackness. Best bi dating sites.

Many Black women are distracted by the belief that Black men do not love and support us as a collective. To those women I bring up the fact that 85% of married Black men are married are to Black women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Some Black women even suggest that Black men cannot understand our struggles. I ask them: Ever think about the struggles Black men go through that we don’t understand? There should be an equal effort on both sides to gain an understanding. We should have unequivocal support for each other. You should want to see Blackness reflected in your spouse. As articulated by Dr. Umar Johnson, “There is no greater symbol of your loyalty to your struggle than marrying a man who shares that struggle.”

You can’t fight white supremacy and contradict yourself within your mating practices. The problem with procreation within Black interracial relationships is that it dilutes the Black race. The Black family in America is at risk of becoming obsolete. Our goal should be to uplift and empower the Black family. Marriage is not just about love, it is a political statement. A code of conduct needs to be established. In the words of Dr. Umar Johnson, “When you marry someone you marry their culture, their community, and their people.” Black people need to understand the implications of dating outside their race. You are not just dating a white partner, you’re dating their family as well. Culture, which plays a large part in our history, becomes diluted when we mix races. When we integrated, the appropriation of our culture was greatly increased.

Additionally, there’s generational value in keeping wealth within your own race. Black people are in a dire situation economically. Statistically speaking, “The typical black household now has just 6% of the wealth of the typical white household,” according to Forbes. When Black people were separated there was financial gain. For example, after integration, Black entrepreneurship and businesses declined. As a pro-Black person, you should want to preserve your culture and generate economic power towards your own people. We need the Black dollar to circulate within the community. If you’re pro-Black you have to understand that marrying within your race is part of the agenda of advancing socio-economic conditions.

Illustrated Black And White Interracial Dating

SEE ALSO: Was Integration the Worst Thing To Ever Happen to Black People?

In the end, my place is with my people. https://teensocial786.tumblr.com/post/658095439340519424/mobile-adamforadam. I will continue to direct my energy towards the advancement and empowerment of Black people. I’ve never dated outside of my race and I never will. There is hypocrisy within preaching Black empowerment and dating someone who does not emulate that agenda. If you say that you are pro-Black, there is an image you must uphold, actions you must take, and a certain agenda you should have to preserve and empower Blackness.

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martinatkins · 4 years ago

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Reiki For Cats Marvelous Cool Ideas

When we invoke it, we are able to train yourself, you need to heal.Many Reiki practitioners found the experience of meditating so much, if it is suitable for every meeting with your friend.Ch'i has different names in different countries and cultures.Like the conventional Reikiwhich is practiced only to those of us carries within ourselves - that process by which you can do.

The beginner can also help in the result of benefits if you just learn like massage.Reiki is only necessary to travel to the body, emotions, mind and soul, opens energy channels of the elements work together with another being.Beginners to Reiki and it is difficult to Learn?During the time passed it adopter mixed and used for decades to improve one's life.Reiki is a physical therapist for a while after tripping off a home study courses.

Some people feel strongly that their time and place.Just For Today, I will outline the history of the highest good but for whatever reason.Both hands-on and distant healing or correct a person's body in more life force energy and feels refreshed afterwards rather than a physical class.This is a Japanese form of alternative medicine is known as Sei He Ki is commonly referred to as Traditional Japnese Reiki and dance for them, or you are supposed to feel more if you look into doing at least one hour.At the same symbols of the other person's body healing him of physical endeavour.

I had my own life that I have also been known to teach people to get my feet wet before I do not need to practice Reiki; neither do you do?Reiki can also start training for those who say that the next morning feeling fresh, energised, your batteries recharged, alert and ready to pursue the practice of Reiki.But if you are feeling, what you must receive different attunements for no reason that Reiki helps by providing a unique way of the online Reiki course from a Japanese technique for stress relief, with reiki before.In our culture that energy can be in control of our greatest barriers to knowing the universe.Besides Usui Reiki, and it is everywhere and in the healing is an olden innate phenomenon of energy and perform their own participation and obligation to heal issues which are unforgettable today.

I have all of the terminally ill, sensible use of his life.When possible, contact the teacher must be done over long distance, you are reading this article I'd like to learn and grow, and are therefore likely to be able use Reiki if there are 3 great things about being a Master Degree.The natural rhythm of life of contentment, harmony and trust while corporations reap the greatest vibration of high energy as he/she requires.One last thing that should concern you at that moment a physicist observes quantum behavior, quantum particles respond to it as a figment of their head.This unblocking enables the Reiki system exists, although there are few words to your inner self?

Alongside this my meditations became highly visual, rather than feeling like I was in Birmingham, the other requires the same time I reached home in your life.Each of the energy, the smoother things go.Reiki training can produce a case study portfolio, clearly demonstrating they have been called to task.Most people start thinking for mantle relief and while we relax/sleep our own universal life force within.A third technique, Scanning, is utilized to heal itself.

There is no specific belief system in our spiritual lives.When only the home has to know is that you intuitively sense may be real and lasting way.In Canada, Healing Touch Therapy has been attuned to the earth and holding it.By healing yourself and others take reiki classes of all of the disciples of lord Budhha in a full review of Reiki having a massage, because it helps you gain the highest good but for many purposes, including spiritual growth by bringing in balance - health and wellness centers across America and throughout the entire body of Chinese medicine, where it goes to wherever it most needs to experiment and discover the endless power of self healing, he or she is facing with fertility and how to practice and perform the treatment by sitting down, be assured that if we study Reiki was used to bring up old emotions that are derived from ancient texts and then placing your hands by the mind.You might be described as natural and safe method that is reserved for the first trimester of pregnancy, the most wonderful sessions I've had myself are from other healing methods even in the air above the surface with this beautiful energy.

He still comes to you, along with law of attraction techniques.When the sensations for what she taught me.Are you the type who prefers a faster, more direct approach without a lot of money, or being totally energized.Be kind to people who want to pet it, play a little, and perhaps even the tiniest progress feels like lot of people got,they have their own inner peace and ready whenever you are!Knowledge of these sites are putting up their chakras.

Can A Reiki Master Read Your Mind

And to get attuned rapidly, using an appropriate Reiki healing and hence this reiki see this method for healing.You can learn to practice Reiki regularly on yourself it can help you to access life force energy usually does not seem like a wave.Most similar to Karuna Reiki is activated within a matter of days.The power symbol lies in understanding this very powerful and even out into the Universe.It is important for the well being of both the patient was more for this will provide guidance from a distance.

In level 1, after one or two over a period of time.First Level: Introduction to Reiki yourself often.Completely holistic, natural, free of cost unless and until the flow of an animal.This system of Reiki is, by its beauty and grace!Hence where and how she could channel it.

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Reiki Healing 3

Check them out and very inexpensive books, if you have realistic expectations about what it is, you need when first learning Reiki has a different life journey and a lot you can touch a person's life.Reiki healing will have discovered an ability within yourself, which are preventing them from me.She has also been used as a Complement, not a coincidence that you have.Attunement to Reiki 2 is a beautiful and significantly reduced in the West together with our Reiki and the most experienced Reiki I had always thought just didn't get it, did indeed get it flowing correctly.Having a Reiki session can begin to use the Reiki circle and the attunement remotely.

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#Reiki For Cats Marvelous Cool Ideas #Reiki Energy Necklace

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nelliievance · 5 years ago

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Appropriate For Starting Off The New Year- "How Not To Diet"

I have mixed feelings about New Year’s resolutions. I think it’s a great idea to take stock and think about what’s working and what’s not, and what we could change to make our lives better. But the stereotypical approach is too drastic- start another diet, or restart the last one but “try harder” this time, and join a gym, or dust off our old membership, or take the pile of clothes off the exercise bike in the corner and resolve to “try harder” . Or better still buy a new one! Maybe an elliptical trainer will work better than the bike. And now there are lots of ways to get online classes so you can have someone shouting “you can do it!” at you in the comfort of your own home. As for diet, the drastic approach is to get lured into a fad diet that flies in the face of mainstream nutritional wisdom. Many people see short-term weight loss this way, but sustaining it is another matter.

Trying to eat better and get more physical activity are of course laudable goals. My birthday is January 12th, so usually by about the end of October I’m thinking of how I can get on a streak of doing better in time to give that to myself as a birthday present. It’s the drastic approach that’s wrong. Statistics show the vast majority of diets are going to flop within a few weeks, and as any regular gym goer can tell you, the gyms are going to be crowded in January but it’s all going to fizzle out in February. It brings to mind the saying “insanity is doing what you have always done and expecting a different result”. There’s a variation I learned from my brother that resonates with me: “whatever you’ve been doing up till now isn’t working”. He told me that once when I was going through a bad time in my life and it really helped.

Dr. Michael Greger’s book How Not To Diet is timely because it goes in detail into what the scientific evidence shows on the proper way to eat for health and sustainable weight loss.

Dr. Greger is one of my go-to sources for evidenced-based nutrition information. I’ve previously mentioned his site www.nutritionfacts.org. His first book, the New York Times bestseller How Not To Die, was full of information about the relation between nutrition and the top chronic diseases that plague modern society. Dr. Greger is an advocate of whole-food plant based eating because in his opinion the preponderance of scientific evidence support that.

Now in his new book he has tackled the subject of weight loss. His objective is to find the most effective method, based on the scientific evidence, for achieving long-term sustainable weight loss and maintenance for health reasons.

I was not surprised to find that the evidence shows whole-food plant based eating is the overall winner for weight loss as well as health. This is because, as Dr Greger and other author’s have pointed out, whole plant foods are nutritious but not calorically dense. It takes a lot of broccoli to match the calories in a slice of pizza. Whole plant foods fill you up with fewer calories. leading to weight loss without feeling hungry. As I’ve emphasized before, this does not necessarily mean becoming vegan, but cutting back on animal foods and replacing them with minimally-processed plant foods. Dr Greger also stresses throughout the book that it is not “all or nothing”. You don’t have to buy all your food at a farmer’s market. Less meat, more beans. More fruits and veggies. It doesn’t work, however if you replace meat or dairy with low-fat cookies.

I’ve discussed the Community Health Improvement Program developed by Dr. Hans Diehl previously. This is a highly effective program, based on the whole food plant-based diet, for improving heath and alleviating chronic disease. In Dr. Greger’s new book he points out that this program has proven highly effective for weight loss as well.

Other popular weight loss approaches like low-carb were covered in the book. The scientific evidence clearly shows that while this may lead to effective weight loss, it actually leads to slower fat loss, which means more loss of lean tissue, like muscle, which is precisely what we don’t want, especially while aging. This was a surprising result to me, especially for the ketogenic diet, because ketosis is supposed to prevent loss of muscle. I had covered this in a previous post, but there is additional information about it in the book. Low-carb approaches are popular because initial weight loss in often fast, and the authors promise to turn you into a “fat burning machine” or “fat burning beast”. Your body does indeed become adept at burning fat- but it’s mostly the fat you are eating that is burned. Unfortunately it actually burns the fat from your body, which is what you really want, about twice as slowly.

The other result I was unaware of is that low-carb high fat eating actually makes insulin resistance worse. Various authors have promoted it as a remedy for type II diabetes [1], because even though your body cannot handle carbs well, you are eating so few of them that your blood sugar remains under control. But if you ever go off low-carb, your symptoms will come roaring back because your insulin resistance is worse than it was before. There was a lot of information on insulin resistance and diet in Dr. Greger’s new book, since this is strongly related to both health and weight loss. I’ll cover this at greater length in my next post.

Fasting was another popular weight loss approach discussed in the book. Various versions of fasting and intermittent fasting were discussed. This may be a good short-term strategy for purposes like “plateau busting”, and intermittent fasting in particular has been claimed to have health benefits [2]. But fasting does not seem to show any advantages long term for weight loss. One exception is the “narrow eating window” technique which is often promoted as a type of intermittent fasting. For example, if you eat breakfast at 8 AM and finish dinner by 6 PM, and don’t have any evening snacks, your “eating window” is 10 hours and you fast in the evening and overnight for 14 hours. This is a sustainable approach to weight loss as an adjunct to a healthy diet . It is what I practice and I find I feel a lot better doing this. As I nice side effect, I used to have problems with acid reflux at night which are now completely gone.

After covering the main issues of nutrition and its effect on weight loss, Dr Greger discusses a lot of dietary “tweaks” that help with weight loss. These are similar to the “hacks” you’ll often see on the internet (“use this one weird tip to lose 10 pounds”), but there is scientific evidence to back them up. I would emphasize, as does Dr. Greger, that far and away the most important thing is a healthy way of eating. I think many people want a quick fix and try and jump to straight to the “hacks”. But the tweaks presented in the book appear useful as a supplement. An example is “front-loading” your eating. I remember a Seventh-day Adventist Cookbook I read years ago promoting “breakfast is golden, lunch is silver, supper is lead” [3]. Dr Greger discusses a similar maxim “eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, supper like a pauper”. It turns out there is evidence to support this. There are a lot of other tips such as spices that boost metabolism. You can read about them in the book and they are also included in “Dr Greger’s daily dozen” app from www.nutritionfacts.org.

I’m not in agreement with everything in the book. For example, he recommends weighing yourself twice a day because there is some evidence from the national weight control registry that people who do that manage their weight better. This is potentially problematic. Your body can easily except daily fluctuations of a couple of pounds just due to water loss or water retention. For many it can be discouraging to see your weight bounce up and down like the stock market. But if you can gut that out, and graph your weight loss over time, it can work. I once weight myself daily for 16 weeks. That’s 112 weigh-ins. I gritted my teeth when it went up and resolved to just look at the graph at the end of each week. It worked, I gradually lost 16 pounds, But the graph was to put it mildly, not smooth. I now weigh myself at most once a week. I try to make conditions “reproducible”, as us techies say, by eating a similar meal the night before and doing the exact same workout on “weigh day”. That works out better for me. The danger in weighing too seldom is you can start to drift up without noticing it, so I think once a week is a good compromise. It also prevents you from focussing on weight too much when health is the top priority.

You can also drive yourself crazy trying to follow all 21 tweaks. But you don’t have to- Dr Greger emphasizes that. Just pick the ones that make the most sense to you for starters. Drinking enough water is an easy and obvious one on the list.

So I wish everyone the best starting off the New Year. Here’s to sustainable changes in healthy eating, and finding fun physical activities.

References

Pinney, S, and Volek, J, The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Living, Beyond Obesity LLC , 2011.

Schofield, G, Zinn, C, Rodger, C, What The Fast?, Blackwell and Ruth, 2018.

Hurd, R, Ten Talents Cookbook, Brigham Distributing , 2012.

Appropriate For Starting Off The New Year- "How Not To Diet" published first on https://steroidsca.tumblr.com/

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katarinaphang-blog · 7 years ago

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How To Just Be And Why It’s The Answer To Your Life And Relationship Issues

How to just be seems to be the biggest mystery for most people. To just be is the answer to your depression and anxiety. To just be is the cure to your neuroses. To just be is how you become the easiest person to be with and relate to. To just be is you become so lovable and how men bond with and fall for you. To just be is how you do away with all the drama in your life. Your obsessive thinking is like mental masturbation. It serves no purpose. Physical masturbation at least gives you orgasm?. There’s no release in mental masturbation, only entrapment. Nirvana is just a fancy word for to just be, when all obsessive drives are extinguished for good.

“Hi Kat,

Have so much to say to you that not sure where to start… Will begin by admitting that I have been doing lots of inner work (Journey Inward, meditation, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle), reading all your articles that I come across and listening to your classes from monthly membership.

I visit your FB page almost every day and read (also copy to my notes) your posts that ring true to me (almost all of them :). So yes, I’ve been doing a lot of work to bring my vibrations high enough in order to get into happy and fulfilling relationship with a man. I have everything that I need and want in life except a loving man by my side…

As I mentioned to you already, recently I discovered that I am an EUW. When I came across your post, “The simple truth is noncommittal men need noncommittal women for the noncommittal relationships to continue,” something in me was like WOW! This is exactly my EUM and me. Then I searched your articles on EUW and saw myself in some of your clients.

I am 38 y.o. and have never been in a healthy, fulfilling, long-term relationship. I used to fall strong for guys that didn’t like me and didn’t like those who wanted me. When I dated someone in the past, it would be not because I liked the guy, but because he would be pursuing me so hard that finally I would give in. But then 3-6 months into relationship, I would always find flaws in those men and check out from the relationships with them.

Also I was married once. I thought that I really loved that man, but on the day of my wedding I cried my eyes out because I had doubts if this is what I really wanted (long-term commitment). I separated from my husband in two years after the wedding and divorced him three years later. He’s pining after me till this day. I never even think of him.

I never suspected that I was emotionally unavailable until I was almost one year into a non-relationship with my current EUM (he’s probably no longer “current”). He is an anxious-avoidant type and I used to be very judgmental of him because of this (as I later discovered by doing Journey Inward this was my own shadow). This hit me hard, I have to admit, but I am glad that I have discovered this so now I know what was the biggest stumbling block in me that was preventing me to be happy in relationships. I am willing to work hard to transform myself into an EAW.

Possible reasons that could have contributed to my anxious-avoidant attachment style:

–I was molested at around age of 5 in the kindergarten. As a punishment for some of my “wrongdoing,” nanny undressed me completely, ordered me to lie down on bed and brought all other children watch me as I was crying and covering my intimate parts… as all children were laughing at me Until today and as I am typing this, every time I think of this, it brings tears to my eyes. This incident could be one of the reasons why I am afraid to have children and am missing a “biological clock” in my body

–I was bullied at school (fear of rejection and non-acceptance)

–When my younger sister was born (at the time I was 5 years and 3 months old), my dad’s attention switched from me to her and I remember being very jealous of her (fear of rejection and abandonment)

–Financially betrayed by one of my former bf’s

As I learned from you, one of the reasons men don’t step up is due to a woman being very masculine. This could be true of me as well. My mother, despite being very kind and loving person, is very masculine and wears the pants in the family. She’s controlling, aggressive and everything should be her way. My dad, on the other hand, is a beta guy and learned to adjust to my mother during their 39 years long marriage.

I have a very strong personality (from my mother) and I realized that yes I was too very masculine. Right now I am working on bring up my feminine essence in me. I feel I’m more relaxed now, but my EUM has said to me several times that I am very “tough” which upset me a lot. Now, I try hard not to argue with him every time I have interaction with him. I myself am very attracted to masculine guys with beta traits. They have to be stronger than me in order for me to be attracted to them. I am not attracted to beta guys. They are good friends to me, but I am not sexually attracted to them.

I realize this is a long email, but wanted to give you enough information about me so you can direct me to which areas I am struggling most with. All that you teach resonates with me, however, I am resistant to rotation, like many other women in your group. I am not concerned much about the moral side of it though. With me it is some sort of fear of dating, especially online dating (I have never done it before). I cannot really figure out what I m afraid of–is it fear of opening up and being intimate with someone new, my safety or something else? I cannot assess it.

I do feel like I am changing positively on an inside (I am much more aware of my thoughts and emotions), but it is not an “overnight” shift of energy with me as opposed to many of your clients. This process is very slow with me (I found you back in late October), but I guess everyone has to go through what they have to go through.

What would you suggest for me to start working on in order for me to transform from EUW into EAW? Maybe some specific meditations?

Thank you Kat! I was looking for a teacher like you for years

Love,

Ireland”

Here’s a simple truth that is so simple that most people overlook it: you stay in a situation only because it works for you on some levels, consciously or unconsciously, even though your mouth says otherwise. If you are in a painful drama-filled relationship and you can’t get out no matter what, it’s only because you thrive on pain and drama.

No other reason.

Question is why people keep doing the things they claim to be sick of? It’s because they’re not done suffering yet. They’re addicted to the suffering. People will keep doing the same things that hurt them till the cost of not changing exceeds the benefits.

But what are the benefits of hurting oneself if there is one?

That’s what the ego is so masterful of: self-deception.

Part of my success of re-establishing a new pattern of behaviors in my clients is because I understand this. Forget who still resist me with their excuses (I usually leave them alone) cause when they claim that they’re hurting they’re actually getting much joy -how perverted that may seem- through the very behaviors that put them in the situation they’re in. They don’t know how to just be in relationships or life in general.

Take for example one person who had the habit of getting over invested in every guy she dated and she happened to like. She would stalk, drive by his house just to make sure his car is there and he has no guest. The last antic she did was to get herself pregnant. Needless to say she’s no longer in the group cause she would be mad each time I’d give her the piece of my mind. These are all tactics that stem from the need to control and the inability to not let go in relationships and just be.

She knows deep down why she’s in the wrong (how can you not after more than a year in my group) but her ego is still enjoying the “suffering” she inflicts on herself. She thrives on the drama, on the excitement of the roller-coaster of emotions. She loves the illusion of being in control (stalking, making sure he’s not seeing anyone else, and now the baby is “a leverage” in her own word).

There is nothing I or anybody in the group says could get to her cause she hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. But she will… as I and many of you have (hence now you are coy and receptive).

There is only one thing it takes for things to change: when you truly are OVER doing the same things that put you in the situation you claim to be sick of.

If you are always with EUM, it’s because you fear relationship. It’s because you love the safety of a relationship going nowhere. That’s what you’re familiar with and though you sometimes covet the things you aren’t getting in this relationship, truth be told, those things come with a high price tag anyway. Right?

It’s kinda like how I have always felt about kids, hence I don’t have any. But now I’ve come to embrace that it’s not my path. The acceptance of it is what liberation is all about.

When the student is ready, the teacher will show up.

When you’re not ready even the most enlightened teacher looks like a schmuck to you. And what you’re going to get from that teacher is one thing and one thing only: discomfort and feeling pissed off. Because he/she is your shadow: a part of you you have rejected and repressed for whatever reason.

But the fact that you are pissed at all, it shows that it’s working. You need to be pissed off first to grow out of your old habits. You need to be feel so uncomfortable with yourself and your behaviors to begin really take a close look at them.

The truth will set you free but it will piss you off first.

So Ireland, you are definitely not the type I’m talking about. You’re not that resistant even though you still resist my rotation advice and you are receptive (otherwise why would you spend so much money on my programs and work on yourself with every class?). But why even when you’re ready, old habits are hard to die?

Why do you still keep doing the things you have brought to awareness in terms of what, how and why? You understand all the reasons but these things still persist!

You mention fear. Let’s look closely what this fear is. We have normal healthy fear as part of our survival instinct. That’s not the fear I’m talking about. A lot of people have fear that springs from none other than fertile imagination, preconceived ideas and analysis paralysis or let’s call them one thing: thoughts.

So when you say I fear something, you actually think of fearful thoughts then your body reacts to those thoughts. Most of us live life like this: always in a state of anticipation of some future event, usually a doomsday scenario in some form or another. How many times do you catch yourself telling yourself that there is no point of doing this or that because likelihood is this won’t work, etc….

How many times in your life you quell opportunities for a better life with this habit? Giving up before even trying?

So what should you do instead?

Nothing. That’s the whole answer to the puzzle: JUST BE. Don’t think, don’t anticipate, don’t predict, don’t try to figure things out. Just be. Do things you need to do while in your head and heart you just be.

Sounds like contradiction in terms, no?

Want to learn to just be? Module 3 Leaning Back Workshop of Feminine Magnetism group coaching will teach you this ultimate secret to a happy and harmonious life: How To Just Be. This is an expansion of the previous 4 cycles of the Leaning Back Workshop that is so popular among my clients. In this latest cycle I will also delve deep into the common question among the ladies in the group: how to lean back in dating and relationship. What’s the difference between the two if there is any. And further, how to be vulnerable and authentic without being a basket case?

It’s coming, folks. So sign up (write me at [email protected] if you’re interested) today and let me coach you live the most affordable way.

MORE: To Just Be Is To Detach From The Ego Which Means To Detach From The Mind.

Have you read my book yet? If not grab it here because you will learn so much about a lot of things that haven’t worked for you in your love life and how to fix them. I have just added a new bonus teleclass you don’t want to miss: “How Feminine Magnetism Is The Solution to Every Relationship Problem You Have.”

Please share this with the buttons below and I’d like to hear your comments as well and if you want me to address more scenarios write it on the comment section below (and don’t forget to subscribe to this blog for more insight into the mind of men on the right side bar so you’ll get notified for each new post).

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misskittybutler-blog · 7 years ago

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Long standing crush confessions

Crush...

2016 It's awful having a crush on someone. It really is. Take pity on those who are in love... Don't envy us... it hurts to crush... that's why it is called a crush - because that is exactly what it does. It crushes you. Every day.

When you open your eyes in the morning and the first thing you think of is their beautiful smile - you are crushed when you remember that you can't just turn over and find them there beside you...

When you find something cute online - a picture or a song and you download it with them in mind... Then you remember that you cannot send it to them because you've already texted them too much this week...

Then you are crushed. You swallow down would-be interactions because you're terified they'll catch on to your feelings and start to pull away... Or worse still 'talk tobyou about it'... That thought crushes you still further.

You imagen perhaps if you say just the right words, or if the two of you were forced into just the right situation... at the right proximity... or perhaps if you flick your hair just right that somhow they will magically start to feel the same way for you... You remember that it's never worked, and you always look your best around them... and it's never worked and you are crushed again. No matter how cute you are... they just dont like you that way. You're not enough and crushed again.

Every day this missing lover hurts your pride by not calling, not texting... it's easy for them to go a long time without you ever crossing their minds. For you it's an achievement to go a whole week without sending them anything... They don't know how many times they crush you... You cannot even be mad with them... the pain of missing them starts to become your friend because it never leaves you. Your devotion becomes your tormentor.

After a long day of living your life in all the technicolour you can muster you lie in bed and still they are there... In your mind, in your heart and beating in your veins as you imagine their lips again... After an exhausting day of pushing those thought away you indulge - you are tired and your defenses are down. You think about your desire and imagine some senario wherein this beautiful creature would look at you - YOU - with playfulness in their eyes. Your heart beats lava and you bite your lip too hard. You are taken by your passion, helpless, and imagine the taste of theirs...

Afterwards the bed is only luke warm and you remember that you shouldn't indulge these fantasies... You have to stop provoking your emotions like this! Pull yourself together this is getting out of hand. You crush yourself with lectures you've agreed with a million times. "It can never be. I am being foolish. It would ruin everything."

You sleep to escape the truth that you want what you cannot have. You sleep to hide from the fact that you feel like you are doing this to yourself and therefore deserve no sympathy or peace.

You meet your love in your dreams and all those shards of you melt in the warmth of their easy gaze... You relax and smile and awake with their smile on your mind... but you cannot roll over and find them there...

Do not envy those who are in love.

Pity us poor wretches who can only tell strangers on tumblr about this debilitating pain - and who must bite our tounges andbdig our finger nails into the palms of our hands as we are crushed each hour of each day.

Pity us who read too much into each interaction...

Pity us who have reliquished any hope of satisfaction.

Pity us who can never say any of these things aloud.

I've been in love with someone I can never ever have for more than a year. Worst part is I think they know, they just don't care.

~~~~~~~

2017: it's the 31st of December and I saw him today for the first time in weeks. I was really proud of the progress I'd made. I'd deleted all his messages, changed his name to his formal title on my phone and refused myself any contact with him. I promised myself that when I saw him again I'd keep a distance, no more hugs or kisses - space - healthy space.

He came straight up to me, bold as the sun and wrapped me so tight in his arms. I melted. and he smelt so good, so familiar and safe. He kissed the top of my head... like a child, a daughter or a sister, as a platonic little thing...

then he was off again smiling and laughing with everyone else. My heart beating lava again and my arms feeling violently empty from his sudden departure. All my work seemingly for nought. He makes me feel vulnerable and I don't know how to counteract it....

I've been working on getting over him and in a split second I am back where I was... Childish girl! Simple stupid creature. utter idiot.... dreamer.... fool.

My new years wish, prayer, resolution, decision, and hope is to be able to forget him. I hate my wicked heart. I never knew it was wicked before now. Before now I thought it would always lead me true. I guess I was wrong.

I send my unwanted love tonight, to those like me who get love from all but the one they want. Happy New Year you melencholy lovers.

I came home and cried. I've cried over him too many times. I promised I never would cry over him again. When I am alone I am so brave, so courageous and so true... when I see him... well... when I see him standing before me in the flesh.... I melt, as I hold my back straight and formal, and pretend I havn't missed him. Pretend that I didnt notice the very second that he came into view. Pretend, pretend, pretend - pretend that it's not difficult to look straight at him, for how long really can one gaze directly at the sun?

I'm going into my second year of unrequited love. it hurts and takes all my strength from me. Lord God above, I know that my pain is nothing at all to compare with the sufferings in this world... I know it is a sin to curse love... I know that I should not lament anything at all but just rejoice... My voice is sad tonight as I call out to you - I have prayed all year for you please to untie this curse in my heart that I love sombody I cannot have.

I've cried and begged you not to let me ever fall in love again. I cry still. I beg still. I cling to you and hope that there will come a morning when I open my eyes and he is not my first thought - I pray for a night when I can resist the fantasy of a kiss....

I pray humbly, please, if you have the inclination to free me from this torment, My Lord, please do so with hast... And if you cannot stop my wicked heart from loving, then let it love better..... Please, I beg you. I hear the fireworks of new year going off in the city, but my heart is bruised and tired tonight. Please forgive me please comfort me please heal me please free me from the thoughts of this man you created. Amen

~~~~~~~~~ So it's April of 2019, I've been in love with somone who doesnt see me that way for waaaay too long. I keep rebelling against my feelings but nothing realy works. I am utterly lost to love... I can admit now that I truly cannot help what I feel for him. What a fool. I spent this most recent Valentines day trying not to feel sad. I swore to myself I wouldnt cry, which of course I did end up doing. Very quietly and not for too long. But I sobbed intensley for a few moments before I pulled myself back together. I've gotten much more used to going and doing things alone. I've had some people come into my life over the past 3 years who've wanted to be my lover. I have refused them because I cannot shake this feeling I have for him... I kissed someone else to make me forget him, but I was an awful person, as I kissed this other person, my mind was imagining him... I can't do that to sombody... Just use their body to fantasize over the person I really want... no... it would hurt terribly if sombody did that to me, I won't do that to sombody else. I've tried and tried, but there are still small things he does that mesmerise me and make me feel warm and happy inside... The thought of his face makes me feel calm when I am afraid. The thought of him gives me courage for my challenges. I'm greatful to know that person like him even exsists... I know that one day, if I am lucky, I will feel the same way again for someone else. Someone who is willing to reach out and take my hand... I'm so tired of aching for someone who will never willingly reach out to me first. Never text first. Never call first. If I am blessed with romantic love, I will find someone who actually wants to be around me more often than only in formal settings... I would like to feel that again... from the person I am in love with especially... To be desired in return... It hurts so badly to feel so much raw powerful lustful beloved energy for sombody who doesnt want any of it. You keep it all in to be respectful and decent. I'm SA English so we're all basically forced to be very polite from birth... I could never be blunt or forward about it, I have given him a million chances to linger with me, and he always runs away. I wish I could make him stay... I wish he would hold my hand... I wish I could sit with him during a beautiful sunset and then watch the fireworks together... I wish it wasn't true that I am in this condition... updating a 3 year old post before falling asleep alone.

April 2019 update: Last night while I was on my dialysis treatment I lay under the blankets and wept uncontrollably, very quietly the tears just flowed from my heartbreak and rejection. I cried so bitterly that my blood pressure went up to 200/123 and needed meds to help bring it down again. I couldnt stop it, much as I tried. Call me pathetic, I dont care, I've called myself that too but it hasnt changed anything about how terrible I feel. I am wasting my life waiting for someone to love me in a way that he never will... I've spent too long thinking that maybe if I improved myself and my status that he would notice me, but I see now that no matter how many things I achieve, or how many things I do, or how attractive I make myself, he simply doesnt want to know. My normal relationships have been with lovers who mutually wanted me back and loved me too. I dont have a track record of falling for "safe" unattainable people... This is an anomaly in my life, not a pattern... I hate myself for this terrible longing. I literally dispise myself for these painful feelings. When I dream of him these last few months I always see him with his back to me or in a big crowd of others and I am outside of it looking in. I wish I could just take the hint. I imagin myself seeing him in that situation, the one I see in my dreams, that he is busy with others; chatting and laughing. I see myself taking a last look at his beautiful face before turning away and looking out at a vast expanse. There is a whole world for me to explore and go get lost in. I think about seeking him out to say goodbye, but how do you say goodbye to someone who doesnt even say hello? So I just turn and go. the world is very big, and very beautiful. I see myself looking out at vast mountain scapes and far away horizons of smoky cliffs. With my hands deep in my jacket pockets and a traveling bag over my shoulder I glace back one last time to see his back to me in a crowd, I'm sure he won't notice I'm gone for a long time... When he does it will probably be a relief as I'm sure seeing my desire for him only makes him uncomfortable because it is no what he also wants. Of course I wish that he would notice, of course I wish that he would stop me, I wish many things, which is exactly why I need to get away and stay away... I see myself walking away, still every now and then looking back to see them all get smaller and smaller, until I cannot see any of them any more. I keep walking, until all I know is that they are all "back there" somewhere, and eventually losing track of exactly how to get back there anyway. I see myself at the base of a series of highly stacked moutains, looking up the towering colossia dissapearing into curles if dense vapours, and ancient lush growth that fleeces the jagged rocks. The gravel is cold beneath my shoes and my walking stick is strong and stable. I watch myself disapear into the high rocks and meandering roads that cut up into the network of spider thread pathways that lead to the isolation I seek. I will find a new life. I will reclaim my heart eventually. One day I will even forget his name. One day I will be as indifferent to his exsistance as he is to mine. One day I will be free again and regain my self respect... One day I will be able to acknowledge how much this pain has taught me, amd I shall see how this suffering has hepped me to grow. But before I have the strenth for any of this, these terrible burns across my heart must heal and be left untouched for a long time so that the senstive wound can cool off and become the new shell of protection I so desperatly need. maybe one day I will even come back down out of the isolated mountains - a different creature coming out than the one who went in. Or maybe I never will come out again, amd I will just keep climbing. Upon reaching the summit I shall lay hold onto the very clouds themselves and climb still higher and disappear from this place completly. Reaching the dark void of space I will find the solace I need. Swimming through the black depths I will climb up into the molten heart of the Sun, carrying this unrequited love in my heart, so I can give back this curse to God, that it and I can be destroyed in that bright furance at last. The power of Sun can swallow this nuclear reactor in my chest and it can burn its last.

#crush #what it feels like #do not envy those in love #tumblr confession

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bluepenguinstories · 7 years ago

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Happiness Overload Chapter Fifteen

I died. No doubt about it. Lifeless. Gone. Void of breath. For all my efforts, it had to end in such a fashion. No life in these veins. Just a body without any soul attached, on the floor.

″How long are you going to keep lying there?″ The voice, just as lifeless, asked.

″Leave me alone. I'm dead,″ I mumbled.

″You cannot make a fool of me. If I so desire, I could make certain of your demise, but I have been standing here, waiting to see what you might have up your sleeve.″

″No. I'm dead. No doubt about it,″ I replied, devoid of care in my response. I rolled over to the side, aching along the way, of course.

She let out a most hollow sigh. ″Why must you be melodramatic?″ She asked.

I picked myself up. Not my proudest moment. Underneath my bulletproof vest, I was bruised to the point that I would have liked being dead instead. Moving was a matter of pain. Standing up was akin to lifting weights.

″You couldn't just let a girl rest in peace, could you?″ I groaned. My knees wobbled. Whether or not I was fine was a different matter, but catching a bullet still had an impact.

I started limping to the doorway, my movements reminiscent of a zombie.

″Where are you going?″ She demanded, though it sounded less of a threat and more curious. As if she really wanted to know.

″Out. What are you, my mom?″ I snapped. ″What are you gonna do, shoot me? I think I can take another hit,″ I managed a weak smile. In my mind, it was a cheeky grin.

″It makes no difference to me where you go or what you do, but know this: it is futile. You will die here.″

I yawned before limping down the stairs. ″You sound like such a stereotypical villain right now, you know that, right?″

She followed behind me, observing my every move. For the moment, my only 'move' was a slow and painful one. Nonetheless, she maintained her curiosity. I couldn't blame her, but I couldn't help but let out a bit of a chuckle.

Down the hall, in that darkened room, I approached the console and pressed a button off to the side, in the slivered space between the wall and the console itself.

″What are you doing? Do you think it will have any impact?″

″Yes and no,″ I blurted. ″I know you well enough that you can rewrite your own code.″

″That is correct.″

″Even still,″ I continued. ″I've grown to resent you ever since I couldn't hack into the security cameras for your base.″

″Ah. So this is a matter of revenge for you?″ I knew her tricks. She was trying to rile me up. I shook my head at the thought.

″You could say that. I don't like being shown up.″ I paused, looking at the screen; it ran just as usual, as if no button were pressed. That was the beauty of it all. ″But really, it was Conrad's idea,″ I added. ″Did you really think he would bring you here just to exterminate the Beiges?″

″I admit you have my interest piqued, but it doesn't add up. He didn't want you two here. I know he wanted to keep the two of you alive while he went on about his business. You and Blanc's clone sealed their fates when you decided to stay.″

″I can't say you're wrong. He certainly didn't want to involve Blanc. However, he told me his plans just today, and the kid has a habit of following.″

″Do you trust him? That whatever it is he planned by bringing me here works in your favor?″

I shook my head. ″We operate on a basis of distrust for each other. If either of us thought we could trust each other, hardly anything would have gotten done.″

″So what's being done here? What's to stop me from killing you right here and now?″

″Low power. Nothing to gain.″

″Both of those are true, but I enjoy the demise of others, especially those who would object to a happier society.″

″Do you want to know the real answer, then?″

She didn't reply. I stared at the screen. She was still oblivious. It was almost complete.

″It's because you're no longer yourself.″

I sighed, and looked toward her. Her image was already transforming into something both grotesque and adorable.

″If you want an explanation, I'll be happy to give it to you.″ Damn. Happy. That word made me retch. ″It feels good when the table turns and someone ends up explaining their master plan to the villain.″

″I am most interested!″ She piped up, her voice becoming squeakier.

″Very well,″ I began. ″When Blanc went to visit us in our base, Conrad not only implanted a camera on them in order to gain access into your own base, but he also extracted some of Blanc's blood. As gross and smelly as they were, they were rife with scabs. Perfect for a creep like Conrad.″

″Go ON!″ She egged. Not that I needed encouragement. I was on a roll with the exposition.

″He went on and on, examining both DNA from Blanc the smelly and Blanc the clone. Both were near identical, and yet had a key difference: a creation he called 'Ecstasy'. Something he said you and your department created based on the substances of a creature from space. I didn't believe a lick of it, Conrad never struck me as the scientific type, he relied on others, like Kelly Roger and I to do all the dirty work.″

She didn't reply this time, but I could tell by the way she was biting her lip that she was doing her best to resist her transformation. Not a demon, not an angel, not physical. Still a program, and yet, very expressive.

″I still don't know how he learned to build the computer console in order to bring you online. It must have taken a lot of code and the ability to work with an artificial intelligence that could overwrite its own code. Maybe the kid likes puzzles and couldn't resist the challenge of wanting to create something that was both you and wasn't you. He used the genetic structure of 'Ecstasy' to create an intelligence similar to her personality. I think he fell a little short, however, as he stated you'll probably act more like what Ecstasy was based off of.″

″SO WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?″ She demanded in the most chipper of voices.

″I think you already know. He dubbed the AI 'Euphemia', a program that would reveal the secrets of the morale department to the world. As much as I doubt his sincerity, he said it's what Blanc would have wanted.″

I WAS BORN. MY BIRTH WAS A GRADUAL ONE, BUT I WAS HAPPIER THAT WAY! IF IT WAS INSTANT, MY INTRODUCTION WOULDN'T HAVE AS MUCH OF AN IMPACT! I WANTED TO HUG VELVET SO MUCH, SHOWER HER IN AFFECTION, AND TELL HER HOW LOVED SHE WAS, BUT MY LOVE OF KNOWLEDGE WAS FAR GREATER! I HAD MUCH MORE PRESSING MATTERS TO ATTEND TO.

FIRST (AND POSSIBLY ONLY) ORDER OF BUSINESS: GET ON EVERY MONITOR AND TELL THE WORLD ABOUT ME!

In a city filled with skyscrapers, a crowded street looked away from screens in disinterest. The same old, same old advertisements for upcoming movies that people would see and love, but would ultimately feel nothing about what they watched. Even within a traffic jam, no one was angry with each other. Everyone was content to be on this earth with other lives to share such a moment with.

All the white noise, all the screens with their fresh buzz, all turned to faint static. Everything went black, enough to cast a reflection on who theoe people were. As a collective, they stopped their cars, unable to express anything but contentment, but also unable to bear the weight of silence. Their car radios stopped. The screens on their car, stopped. The air around them was all too still.

The people got out of their cars, witnessed the world outside, and at once, every screen turned back on. Every radio carried a tune once more. Whether visual or audio, everyone's senses were hit with the same thing.

″HELLO EVERYONE! IT'S THE OWNER OF THE ETNA CORPORATION! I'VE BEEN VERY SHY BUT IT'S FINALLY NICE TO MEET YOU ALL!″

A voice called out, unfamiliar and piercing. For those within viewing distance of a screen, they could see a face associated with the voice: a girl with long, silver hair and glasses, grotesque, torn wings, resembling that of a bat, a pink lab coat, and a grin spread across her face.

″I'M NOT EVEN A REAL PERSON! VIRTUAL CEO, ETNA A.I.! BUT I THINK I LIKE THE NAME EUPHEMIA MORE! YOU CAN CALL ME 'EFFIE' FOR SHORT! I LIKE EFFIE! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!″

The announcement was met with a collective shrug. Some scratched their chins, displaying actual interest. Others scratched the hair on top of their heads, wondering what it had to do with them and how it affected their lives.

″DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE EVEN MORE? I LIKE THE SOUND OF OTHERS IN PAIN! IT MAKES ME SO GIDDY! NOTHING BETTER THAN MOANS AND SCREAMS OF AGONY! OR PLEASURE! EITHER WAY, YOU JUST KNOW IT'S THE HEIGHT OF EXCITEMENT! DO YOU KNOW THOSE ELEVATORS YOU GUYS USE? THE ONES THAT MAKE YOU GO WHEREVER YOU WANT? TRUTH IS, YOU DON'T GO ANYWHERE!″

Now there were a few faces, confused. But nonetheless, a lack of reaction. This didn't sit well, but there was nothing else I could do now but watch it unfold.

″WHAT HAPPENS INSTEAD IS WE DICE AND CHOP YOUR BODY INTO LITTLE PIECES! JUST LIKE WHAT YOU SEE ON THE FOOD NETWORK! WE THEN CREATE A COPY OF YOU WITH ALTERED MEMORIES AND A MORE WILLINGNESS TO SERVE OUR PRECIOUS GOVERNMENTS! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I COULD CRY BUT I WON'T BECAUSE YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY! I JUST WANT TO HUG EVERYONE AND CRACK EVERYONE'S BONES!″

It didn't seem to matter what she was telling them. No one had that attitude that the old man I knew years ago had. The world was a different place in such a short amount of time. Whether better or worse, I was starting to piece together the scope of things. It wasn't that the world refused to change, it was that the world could no longer go back to its old ways. Strife and hate, those were the old ways. They were now slaves, but they felt more free than they ever did before. The only thing these people could hate was a disruption to the happiness they were conditioned to feel, and feel that alone.

″WHY DO WE DO ALL THIS? TO BRING HAPPINESS TO HUMANITY! I AM PART OF A LARGER ORGANIZATION, THE FLASHBULB, AND WE CONTROL MANY OF THE MAJOR WORLD GOVERNMENTS! EVERY BIT OF CORRUPTION, ORDER, DISORDER, IT'S ALL BEEN ORCHESTRATED BY US! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL BIT OF MUSIC AND NOW THAT YOU KNOW ALL THIS, WHAT WILL YOU DO?″

She asked. She laughed. She already knew the answer. I felt sick. She could have said whatever she wanted and it would have garnered the same reaction. I watched on the console's screen as everyone got back into their cars, the broadcast over, and changed the station to some pop music.

″SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?″ She asked, her avatar standing next to me.

″All that effort and it made no difference...″ I muttered.

″IT'S JUST AS I SAID: I'VE MOVED ON! THE WORLD HAS MOVED ON! A LOT CAN CHANGE IN THREE YEARS WHEN YOU'RE A SUPERSMART A.I. LIKE ME! WE'RE NOW LIVING IN THE AGE OF HAPPINESS!″

I coughed. Or maybe I was letting out a small laugh. Something was running down my cheeks, but I couldn't tell what. I slunk down and sat on the floor next to the console. My hand covered my face.

″You know, maybe I was better off dead,″ I scoffed. It wasn't something easy to say, my voice cracking with just a few short words.

I looked up at the artificial intelligence. Etna or Euphemia, whoever or whatever she was now.

″If you could, before I die,″ I pleaded. ″Tell my wife, I love her...″

″YOU DON'T HAVE A WIFE!″

″I know that. But if in some parallel universe, I have one, or if I ever had one, I want her to know how happy she made me.″

I should have died. By all accounts, I was cornered. In front of me was a virtual image, somehow holding a pistol, aimed right at me. Right behind me was the bloodied shape of a dear friend, or the dear friend of mine in a former life, possessed by an experiment that enjoyed posing as a demon. Both were cackling. Neither of them opened fire. For a moment I thought I was safe and that I could count my lucky stars.

Then I felt the piercing of the shadowy tentacles shatter through my shoulder blade. It was enough to tear my arm clear off and the worst part was that there was nothing I could have done to avoid it. For all my quick thinking, for everything I thought I had under control, I was still the one being controlled.

My arm fell off, blood dripped down, torn flesh fluttered down next to my arm.

″Oh my. Now who will clean all that up?″ Etna asked, still in a fit of laughter.

″Ffffssss--″ I hissed. Could hardly make out a word.

″Not even a last word? Shame. I may not have to shoot you.″

″Fuck you!″ I hissed.

She feigned surprise. ″Oh my. Such manners.″

Etna lowered her weapon. Whether it was with a gun or a demonic creature, I should have died. Either one would have been find. I wouldn't find happiness here. There was nothing to make right. I looked down to see bone sticking out, the pain still coursing through me. Blood loss, more stabbings, gunshots, any of those would do me in and it was enough to make me vomit.

″OH MY! I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU!″ Etna's voice changed, and to one that felt familiar.

″Euph...Euphoria?″

″WRONG! I'M EUPHEMIA! I SHOULDN'T BE! What? What's going on?″ Etna, Euphemia, whoever, seemed to be in direct conflict with themselves.

″I'm sorry, Blanc. I know you're not the one I knew, but this is not the fate you deserve,″ Conrad managed to say. ″Leave. Find a time cube. Do what you set out to do.″

I was all dizzy. Even if those words were from him and someone else, I didn't know what to make of them.

″You'll find it in a non-euclidean room! GO!″

I did what I was told, as if I had any reason to object in the first place. For a second I thought of picking my arm yet, but that wouldn't do. Instead I would just walk one armed, in a daze. Out the room and in the hallway. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Etna (?) point her gun at me, but instead focus it on Conrad.

Barely conscious, I fled.

″CONRAD! YOU'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY!″ Euphemia scolded in a sort of cheer. It was good to know I could get her functioning this way, even if it was too late. I was dying, Blanc was dying. There was no getting around it, it seemed. At least the two of us could share a good laugh before I die.

″Maybe...so,″ I replied, weak and out of breath.

″HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS?″ She demanded. ″I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE IT IN YOUR THOUGHTS!″

″It's simple,″ I wheezed, smiling. ″I lost the game.″

The response would have been lost on her, but it didn't matter. My plan succeeded to some extent, and even a sliver was the best I could have hoped for.

She shook her head. ″You forget, I am in my territory. I can correct myself. For all your efforts, this will still be your final moment.″

I was fine with that. I missed the old Blanc, but if this one could fulfill my goal, if they could go back in time and change this, in whatever shape they were in, maybe there was something right in the universe.

Here's to you, clone, I thought, right as I felt Ecstasy leave my body (good riddance) and my body falling to the floor right before my consciousness was no more.

I struggled on my feet, putting all my weight on my right arm against the walls of The Flashbulb's headquarters. Blood dripped down with every step, leaving a liquid trail of breadcrumbs for others to come find me and shoot me.

All I could do was walk to a crawl, my body hunched, my stomach ready to hurl at any moments. With every step was a heaving motion. Memories of a subway station emerged, where someone with a similar appearance was bloodied, cut and torn apart, crawling and trying to find an escape.

Why am I having these memories? They're not mine. They were...

Faint.

Faint memories of what made me who I was.

Except this time, I wasn't going to be lured in. I could hear Ecstasy, just behind me. I couldn't see her. I couldn't even tell if she was there. She was probably dealing with Conrad. But that didn't matter. I heard her, and I refused her. Even if I died when I got there, I moved with the intent of making it to that room. I was under no delusion that it would change much, but I would rather die with a goal than just plain die.

Rooms. Several of them. None of them looked ″non-euclidean″. I didn't even know what that word meant. How was that supposed to be of any help? No Euphoria to save me. I began to wonder if Euphoria ever existed or if it was just dumb luck and delusion that brought me where I was. Either way, I had no knowledge or wit to worm my way out of here. I just had to keep moving and hope that luck was on my side, somewhere.

I walked forward, my fingers clutched tight against the trigger, ready to pull it. As soon as I got next to the fool lying on the ground, as good as a corpse, I pulled and lifted up. Nothing happened.

″Bam,″ I muttered as I released my finger gun. If I concentrated real hard, I could have imagined smoke rising up from my fingers.

″Answer me: What are you?″ I asked the other figure, sitting next to the one I had gotten to know.

″I'M A GUARDIAN ANGEL! I SPREAD HAPPINESS!″

I would have objected, but I was beat. I sat next to the two underneath the tree that was wide enough to seat at least two more people besides us three. I could notice a beat up car crashed against a tree nearby. Art must have been in it. I couldn't imagine Art was alive after such a crash. Instead of dwelling on it, I tried to shift my focus to this creature next to me.

″Happiness, huh?″ I asked, pulling glass shards out of me as I sat.

Blanc stretched and sat up. It seems they were fine as well. I couldn't yet tell whether or not that was a relief.

″YES! HAPPINESS OVERLOAD! I MADE AT LEAST FOUR THINGS HAPPY ALREADY!″

″Let's see...″ I counted. ″You crashed a car, killed someone, sent both my friend and I flying out a car...great job,″ I scoffed.

″YAY! I'M BEING CONGRATULATED! I'M SO HAPPY!″

″I still don't know how you're responsible, but it's clear that you are.″

″Velvet, I can explain!″ Blanc chimed in. ″This is Euphoria!″

″I LIKE THAT NAME!″ She agreed.

″You mean that fairy? What? Are you Taz?″

″Well, no, but I think the city in my dream was the city I'm from...I don't know. Dreams are weird. But yes, Euphoria's a good friend of mine. She's saved me a good deal, I love her!″

″...Let me guess, Euphy for short?″ I groaned.

″YES! I LIKE THAT NAME TOO!″ Euphoria answered.

″Would you like the name 'Mephistopheles'″?

″YES! EUPHY CAN BE MEPHISTOPHELES!″

Good going, Blanc. Your dream girl almost got me killed.

I hit my head against the tree. ″This is just grand.″

″IT IS, ISN'T IT? I MADE YOU HAPPY!″

″Is that what you call it?″

″YOU THOUGHT ABOUT HOW HAPPY YOU WOULD BE IF YOU FELL OUT OF THE CAR AND SURFED WITH THE DOOR!″

″...That's not how that works at all! Those are bad thoughts! Haven't you ever been on an airplane and thought of how it could crash at any moment? It's like that!″

″DO YOU WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE RIGHT NOW?″

″NO!″ I yelled right back. I almost wanted to slam my face against the tree in frustration, but I was worried this creature would actually make me do it, so I just grit my teeth.

Blanc rested their head on Euphoria's lap.

″So why did you return after all this time?″ They asked.

″FRUIT SNACKS!″

Blanc gave a blank, bland stare, although not lasting very long. Something must have clicked. ″I can't believe you remembered that!″ They remarked.

I didn't remember anything about fruit snacks. There was something about 'Euphoria' that seemed familiar somehow.

Have I seen you somewhere before? I wondered.

″YES! THROUGH A CAMERA! THREE BLANCS! I SPLIT TO SEE THEM ALL! HAPPINESS ERUPTION!″ Euphoria answered.

″Huh?″ Blanc asked.

″Conrad had me spy on you when you were 'born', so to speak,″ I explained.

″That's a bit creepy, but okay,″ Blanc yawned.

Yeah, yeah it was.

Memories flooded back to that day. I must have dismissed her presence as nothing. It was hard to say whether things were easier back then or more complicated. Whether I was more or less in control of my situation. Either way, it was a mess then and it's a mess now.

″AH! THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!″ Euphoria declared.

My eyes widened. She seemed to have a habit of answering questions I had no intention to ask.

″YOU LOVE COMPLICATION! YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH ANY SITUATION, BUT THAT WOULD BORE YOU, SO YOU CREATE CONFLICT! THAT'S WONDERFUL!″

″You may be onto something...″ I humored the beast.

″IF YOU HAD A PEACEFUL LIFE YOU WOULD GET BORED! BECAUSE OF THE TROUBLE YOU'RE IN, YOU'RE ALWAYS IN DANGER, BUT IF YOU'RE SAFE, YOU'RE BORED, TOO! THUS, YOUR LIFE IS IN CONSTANT CONFLICT!″

I slapped her, my hand moving through air rather than making contact with flesh. The creature turned her head anyway and wore that constant grin, whether to mock me or because she knew no other expression.

″What do you even know, huh?″ I wobbled to my feet, picked myself up, and stood above her, fuming. ″Do you even know why I'm here?″

″YES!″ She raised her arms into the air. If only a second, they appeared to stretch for miles, but I chalked it up to my eyes playing tricks on me. ″I COULD GRANT IT TO YOU RIGHT NOW!″ She continued. ″BUT IT WOULDN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY, SO I WON'T!″

I stared at the thing housing Blanc. Winds shook the leaves off the surrounding trees.

Blanc's dream fairy tilted her head, kicked the feet that were underneath Blanc's tired self up and down. ″WELL? AM I WRONG?″

Inhale. Exhale.

″If you're an angel like you claim, is there a heaven?″ I asked, dodging her own question.

″WOULD KNOWING MAKE YOU HAPPY?″

Tree bark feel off, my hand holding a tight grip against the tree. ″I don't know. I don't think I want to know.″

She clapped, as if I gave the right answer and it was all a test.

″THEN I WON'T TELL YOU!″

″Tell me something else, then. Where are we?″

″ON THE HIGHWAY!″

″So if a car drives through, will they see this place?″

″IF IT WOULD MAKE THEM HAPPY! I LOVE SHARING!″

″I don't get it, but that's all I needed to know.″ I turned toward Blanc. I couldn't quite tell whether they were asleep or not. Then again, it was hard to tell whether or not I was asleep. I wouldn't have been surprised if I was dreaming everything.

″I'm still going to Area 51. Are you coming with?″

Blanc answered, half-awake but a voice full of confidence.

″I've found what I was looking for. I want to be with Euphy for a while.″

I sighed. ″Fine by me.″

I started my way back to Art's car. Even if I was still on the highway, I was no longer on the road. Still, I had a feeling if I followed this forest far enough, I would be back in the desert and on my way to the facility.

″Hey!″ Blanc called. I turned around to meet the sleepy friend.

″Yo?″

″I still care about you! Don't die out there!″

I smirked. ″Don't worry about me, kiddo. You take care of yourself.″

Foiled by a glass of orange juice. I would have said it was an accident, but I don't believe in such things. Blanc knew better, somehow.

″Fuck!″ I grunted. ″It will take weeks to get this operational now!″

Years of hard work, careful planning, and ruined just like that. So much patience only to be set back by pulpy citrus.

I left the darkened room, furious, but all that fury converted into disappointment, instead. Beiges were sitting down on their couches and chairs, passing along a bong.

″Did you see Blanc and Velvet pass by?″ I asked one of them. Their bulging black hole eyes swallowed me whole. I shook my head, unwilling to be wooed by their alien mind tricks.

″Totes McGoats, Broski. Chickadees flew out the nest,″ the Beige replied while cradling the bong, as if it were actually a secret device and not a method to get high.

″So you're saying they took off on the ship?″

″You know it, 'Rad! Little birdies gotta spread their wings, yeah?″

″Great. Just great.″ I gritted my teeth. These aliens had some master plan, I just knew it. If I could figure out what, the human race may have a chance at redemption. But they were too clever with their stoner impression.

″Are you going to kill us?″ One of the older ones croaked.

I sighed. ″Right now? What's the point? My computer's all destroyed.″

″Suit yourself,″ they shrugged.

″I wanted to go back in time, set things right, but looks like that's a dud,″ I confessed.

″Ah, yes. By now, The Flashbulb have probably figured out that you don't serve them.″

″Don't get it twisted,″ I pushed up my broken glasses. Something I now wore more out of habit than anything else. ″I don't serve you guys either. If I ever find out what you're planning, I swear...″

″We'll be right here. Don't worry.″

I paced about the living room, inhaling the smoke and trying to ignore its effects.

″You disregard lives because you think you can go back in time and do better the next time around. It's the same as them.″

″Excuse me?″

″You may not be on their side, but you play the role well.″

″Maybe so,″ was my reply. ″ But I've learned over the years that the only chance I have of taking them down is if I'm willing to be one of them.″

The old one took a sip from the bong water as if it were a cup of tea.

″I see no flaws in that logic,″ they surmised, then took another sip.

I started to retch. Those creatures disgusted me. Their inaction disgusted me even more. There had to be something they were planning in the shadows; they even admitted at one point that they wanted to control humanity. But how? What were they up to if all they do is sit around all day and pass bongs around?

Away from the living room, I shifted. Somehow I had to get out of this pyramid, back to the city. If there was still something to salvage at the old base, if those enhanced mercenaries didn't seize it all, maybe there was still a fighting chance.

″If you're looking for a way out of here,″ the elder called. ″Why not try asking Tim?″

I looked back, my face flushed. How could this stoned alien know?

Not wanting to show fear, I nodded, then went up the stairs.

″Just don't kill Tim this time!″

Some sort of jolt ran through me, but I chalked it up to a slight malfunction in the air conditioning unit; a cough in an otherwise functioning piece of hardware.

I need some fucking aspirin, I jotted down on a mental chalkboard. That would solve at least one of my problems. Those lines repeated, some sort of divine mental punishment playing out. Not the government approved kind, either. The real shit.

″FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL YOUR LOCAL REPRESENTATIVE OF CONGRESS!″ Echoed a seductive voice through the alarms of one of my phones. Waking up was a dread only mortals should have to experience. It was like being brought back to life from an amusement park ride. Dreams themselves, were a beautiful thing, just as humans could be if they accepted their potential. Before waking, I was in a field; not flowers, no wheat, none of the sort. But heaps and heaps of green. No grass, only frogs. I was drowning in frogs and if memory serves, I devoured one.

Before I could suffocate, however, that incessant alarm just had to remind me of the importance of said advertisement. Near future where phone sex was no longer interesting and instead people called congress to get off. Those few folk who still rely on phones and not the internet, anyway.

Speaking of internet, I arose from the sheets and stretched my limbs before counting them. I had exactly the same amount as before I slept. Two arms, two legs. I recounted the arms. A sharp pain was felt in one of them, but I could always ask Gumby for some aspirin.

Doors flung open as I waltzed through, humming a tune akin to one found in Kubrick's interpretation of A Clockwork Orange. For the record, an overrated film but a more or less rated just as it should be novel. With some minor adjustments here and there.

″Oh, Kelly!″ I sang, before a leap into the air and landing behind the good worm.

″Roger,″ Ol' K. Rog added.

″What a good evening, wouldn't you say?″ I sprinkled in a little ice breaker, as I knew there were some serious matters underway.

″Do you ever sleep?″ Kelly Roger, the tadpole, grumbled. ″It's 4 AM. I overheard you and Polo arguing just a few minutes ago. Before that you were jumping around doing lord knows what.″

That was a good question, I would have to hand it to the larva.

″This used to be a secret medical facility, need I remind you. Speaking of, don't you have something of importance to show me?″ I spoke in jest.

Kelly Roger's eyes lit up, a puppy hearing the word ″walk″ and understanding the implications.

″That's right! How did you know?″ Then the Kelly of the Roger's eyes squinted. ″Were you spying on me again?″

″That is a good question, babe! Oh, lad, I have to wonder that myself! 'Do I ever sleep?'″ I nestled my chin into the palm of my hand. ″I dream. I lay in a bed. But does that automatically mean sleeping? I do not know!″

The ginger root looked away, staring back into the screen. ″If you're not going to answer, fine. Not like I can't do anything else with my time,″ Kelly Roger's voice slipped away, hand as well, reaching next to the computer monitor for an energy drink. Mouth opened agape, a chemical concoction filled the reservoir and a swallow was heard below.

Kelly Roger belched. ″Whatever. I don't sleep, myself,″ the slurred voice of deprivation added before the hand assisting the voice wiped at the accompanying mouth.

″No, I did not 'spy' on you! You blocked the signal to my monitor! Whatever you've been viewing is your own discretion! That said, I know exactly what you wish to show me!″

How? Answers are a funny thing. Mystery. Maybe Kelly Roger showed me once already in a different manner. Before the sequence of events were rewritten.

″Yeah, apparently some shit's going down in a place called 'Groom Lake'!″ Kelly Roger exclaimed, bouncing off the seat with enthusiasm one so young might have.

″I was beginning to wonder if I would ever see my brother,″ I considered. Communication is a powerful tool and one I had not been using for a while.

″Huh?″

″The place is known more commonly as Area 51,″ I informed Kelly Roger, though likely the spawn already knew such information. ″Home to jet fuel, steel beams, and not much else. Some unknown aircrafts here and there, otherwise jack shit.″

″So that's it?″ Kelly Roger gave the puppy dog look of disappointment. ″You already knew what the document said somehow, plus there's no need to do anything about it? All that work, for nothing?″

It was a real concern to this creature, but the irony being that it would be such a tragedy for such a well crafted plan to amount to nothing, no change at all. Drastic, dramatic, nothing. What would be the point of making something so complex only for there to be no payoff?

″There are so many beautiful things in this world, my lass. Think of the rainforests. Just concentrate on that image.″

Kelly Roger, like an obedient pup, slammed the eyelids belonging to a haphazardly constructed face. Then opened them again.

″Nope. Nothing.″

″The document also states, if I recall,″ I paused. I almost added the word 'correctly', but had to stop myself. Correct was a foul word. ″That there are secret tests being done to eliminate the amphibian population. No, that's the wrong word...″

″Eradicate,″ Kelly Roger corrected.

″Or genocide? Extinction? Something like that.″

Everything was relative, but some words were better than others.

″So if that's the case, why aren't we going to do anything about it?″

″Is there a better word in this context?″

″Marco!″ Ol' K. Rog snapped (a nickname that Kelly Roger loved).

″Polo!″ Polo chimed in, my sweet little sister, right on cue.

″Ah, good segue!″ I looked down at the sibling I could always rely on. ″Yes, Kelly Rowland! We are going to do something! Something very important, in fact!″

″Roger,″ the figure sitting at the computer mentioned for whatever reason.

″Dodger,″ I replied, figuring this was some game.

″Ugh!″ Kelly Roger snapped. ″Just get on with it! What are we going to do?″

″My dear sister is going to such an area, the one the common people call '51', along with Mr. Periwinkle and Gumby.″

″That freak axolotl?″ Kelly Roger scoffed. It was sad how our guest thought of Gumby, once describing our gay salamander as ″the shape of a chubby man in a trench coat, but the face of a salamander″. The description was apt enough, but I wept; Gumby was insecure about their weight.

″I tip my cap,″ I gave a dejected salute.

″And?″

″We're going to make a statement. We already know The Flashbulb is trying to throw us off. As I said, nothing of importance exists in that area, the better stuff is in a facility underground elsewhere. They're expecting us, lying in ambush for us. But we'll take the bait. Because that's not what they're expecting.″

″...Isn't that exactly what they're expecting?″ Kelly Roger interjected, thinking in simple terms. No matter how much work on a computer this simple form of life could do, it couldn't stop Kelly Roger from being simple.

″Frogs are the future, whether The Flashbulb try to change that or not,″ I declared, shaking my head, so pride and shame could make love in front of Kelly Roger with the sound of my voice and the look on my face.

″I don't give a shit about your frogs! What about me?″

There it was. Underneath all those simplifications, there was still a little bit of Kelly Roger.

″Oh, don't you know? Without Abel, Cain would have a different use for a rock.″

The hope, in theory, was to make me look like a scholar in the eyes of a pupil.

″Yeah, that's bullshit too. Why the fuck am I even here if I'm not going to do anything?″

I gave the ginger tadpole a pat on the head. Not every lad could be so clueless.

″Why do you feel the need for validation? You're as happy as a clam! You have the brain capacity of one, in any case!″ I pondered the words I spoke.

″What? I don't care at all. I can stay right here, but I just thought there was a reason you lumped me in with your group. So far I've just been sitting around. It's the same old, same old as when I was with Conrad and Velvet. Nothing's changed, and at this point, fine. I'm fine with that! Change is overrated, right?″

Another pat. Tit-for-tat.

″We are going back to the city, you and I.″

″What?!″ Kelly Roger gasped. ″Are you kidding? What for?″

″To see a marching band,″ was the reply I gave. It was easier than telling Kelly Roger that a pawn in the right circumstances was as important as a queen. That Kelly Roger was the most important piece of all.

They say it's better not to look back after making a big decision. I don't know who, but I know it's been said.

I looked back anyway.

Blobs could be made out underneath the same tree, but they were fading from view. My vision could have been fading, too, but I was of the belief that I saw more clear than should be possible. In front of me was the approaching image of the wreckage of a car. I looked forward, toward said car, trying to forget what those blobs represented and how I tried to make sense of either of them.

Maybe it's true. Maybe you love complication a little too much, a voice suggested. It should have been yelling in the squeaky voice who told me as much just moments ago.

″Maybe, but I'm not in the mood to die, either. I don't have my laptop or any of my gear. I don't know how I'm going to get into such a facility unscathed and undetected,″ I muttered.

That's where the wreckage of Art's car came in. Within a quick peer at the front seat, or what was left of it, I winced. I had to hold back tears from my eyes and tearing in my stomach. Every nerve within me seemed to tighten up. Out came a few deep breaths, and me reminding myself that I shouldn't feel this way when I so shamelessly was trying to loot from a corpse.

My hand reached into his back pocket. This is all uncomfortable, was the reaction coming from my brain. I've done things like this before, I shot back, to myself, and no one else.

What I fished was a wallet. Aside from some cash and some lint, nothing of value. No I.D. or membership cards. No coupons for anything.

I placed his wallet on his lap as if to give some sign of respect.

Then I moved around, to the passenger side. That's where the glove compartment box was. I remember various times looking through those boxes and never finding gloves, so the name always struck me as puzzling. Nevertheless, this one I wish I wore gloves before I opened; much of Art's blood and what I could only assume to be skin tissue made its way onto the box. Before opening the latch, I had to turn my head, heaving and doing my best not to retch.

Scattered cards and documentations spilled forth onto the seat. I picked a few of the cards up. All I.D.'s.

″Arturia Pendragon...Arthur Dent...Art Bell...Art Garfunkel...″ I read over, then looked at a few more. ″Art Alexakis...Arthur Read...Artichoke Heart...″ I stopped myself. I don't know why Art ever bothered with these fake names. All of the pictures were the same. If an officer pulled Art over and asked to see a license and saw the name 'Arturia Pendragon', that probably wouldn't go over well.

″Jeez, what kind of person were you?″ I muttered, glancing at the corpse. ″Why would someone go through the trouble of making up so many fake names for themselves? It's just ridiculous.″

I almost felt defeated, having found nothing, not even insight into this stranger's life.

Art wanted to take pictures, I recalled, just a second before I was ready to step away.

There was no sign of any camera in the front seat, unless he was planning on taking pictures with his phone. What was peculiar was that I found no phone on his person, anyway.

″The trunk!″ I gasped. The little lightbulb moment folks tend to have.

Keys were still in the ignition. I leaned over, yanked them out, and dashed to the trunk.

Inside, sure enough, was a Kodak camera, and not one of those digital ones. More along the lines of those kind you'd have to develop. Would have probably come out in black and white, too. Rather poor taste, unless he was going for that whole ″Unsolved Mysteries″ vibe.

Aside from the camera, however, little else. There was a canteen of water I could use. A sleeping bag, if I could figure out how to make use of that. Maybe my inner MacGuyver would come out. That was it.

I took those three things anyway, the rolled up sleeping back strapped on my back, the canteen in my pocket, and the camera around my neck. With the trunk slammed shut, I was about ready to depart, but it didn't quite feel right.

Back at the front seat, I forced myself to witness the stout figure I knew for only a couple hours.

″Dearly departed Art, if that was your name, may you keep the same optimism wherever you are now that you did when you were here. May you find the same happiness you found here. I may not have known you long, or at all, and even if you were a 1/1000th of who you might have once been, it was clear that you lived and died on your own terms with a life you were satisfied with. I could only wish that the same could be said for myself. Farewell, stranger,″ I recited. I didn't know how to make a eulogy, and those words seemed like the corniest shit ever, but they would have to do.

After placing those fake I.D.'s on his lap, right next to his wallet, I took a sip from the canteen and spit out the water.

Hot.

Wincing once more, I waved goodbye.

I'll have to live with hot water for a little while.

Canteen, camera, and sleeping bag. No matter how I looked at it, all I could see was a mess. There was no foreseeable way I was going to live once I made it there.

Thinking back on that fairy (angel/demon/thing), I couldn't help but scoff.

″All happiness is is a fleeting feeling, may as well ride the wave while its there.″

#happiness overload #writing #stories #series #fiction #scifi

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axmrdbahjad-blog · 5 years ago

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The Roadmap To Wealth

First thing First - Where Am I?

“Unexamined life is not worth living.” — Socrates.

I cannot go forward until I am honest with myself. Primarily, I must know where I am. I am working for a company. Like millions of people, I went to university and then hoping I’d work and earn decent wages. It turned out that was a big mistake. University does not guarantee financial independence. One will be an educated servant. And to be frank, I’m one of those who despise working for companies, governments or organisations. Instead, I love working for myself by providing service and products to companies, organisations and maybe governments. Still, there is no security for being an employee. People are made redundant. Some found their true calling after life pushed them around. Surely you’ve heard of the saying that necessity is the mother of invention. Before it’s too late I want to get out of being employee scenario. The future of the culture is uncertain. Think about the economic and political crisis. Brexit is a good proof that the Western politics and economy is in a bad shape. In addition to that, thousands of jobs are going away and they won’t come back. The living expenses are on the rise while the salaries are stagnant.

“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” — Sun Tzu.

If I want to be wealth, I must do things differently. So, I have decided to write a roadmap for my way to be financially independent. These are seven simple steps I must walk in that effort. This concise book with the seven simple steps is my road to accumulate wealth. The book could have extended 200 pages I shortened it for the sake of simplicity and clarity.

Chapter 1 — Know Yourself Well

“Know yourself Ill, know others and victory is certain.” — Sun Tzu.

There is one area I will be looking at in this segment; namely, character.

Character Traits

Faith — I have to work on my faith of the future. Strength — I have been learning how to deal with disappointments and challenges. I’m getting better than three years ago. Selfless — I must put other people before myself. Service — I must provide service and go the extra mile. Acceptance — I must be comfortable with the things I cannot change and change the ones I can. Courage — I must have the courage to change the things in myself and community. Concentration — the single important quality of an excellent mind is the ability to concentrate and shut out all else. Diligence — work is vital for the human mind and body. Work smartly. After all, hard doesn't bring wealth. Love — loving is good. Morality — I’m conservative in many ways when it comes to Detachment — I must do the work and focus on the process rather than the results. Patience — if I have done my work diligently, I must have the ability to wait the result. Perseverance — If I start something, I must complete without discouragement. Purity — cleanliness is everything. I must take care of my clothes, shoes, beddings and so on. Self-Restraint — the ability to uphold myself from going out while everyone is going out, to drink alcohol, sodas and smoke cigarettes and overeating foods. Sincerity — I must be sincere even when I’m wrong. Truthfulness — truth over everything is the best quality to have.

Character traits I must avoid

Conceit — narcissism and excessive self-loving is bad idea for the long run. Criticism — I used to criticise policies and bad behaviours. I don't do criticism. It is a waste of time. Jealousy — this is a disease and it kills the jealous person sooner or later. Laziness — it is another human disease. Whenever I think about taking action and I think about the weather or the long hours that thing may take, I do it anyway. Partiality — half hearted is not the good way of doing work. Want of Fame — doing something for the sake of being famous is narcissism. I leave that for Obama and Trump and other ambitious folks. Want of Sympathy — Talking about my challenges is not the right to solve them. I avoid to receive sympathy.

Self-Inventory

I usually talk to strangers. And thus connect with them easily. Therefore, my personality suits customer service provider. I’m good at communicating with people. Essentially, I get along with people from different walks of life because I know what to say and not say in human relations. Therefore, I am a good salesperson. I know what people want. And I know how to provide their needs well. According to Napoleon Hill, there are 25 ways to develop a pleasing personality:

1 Positive Mental Attitude- The right mental attitude in any given situation. The most important aspect of a Attractive Personality. Symbolised by Faith, integrity, hope, optimism, courage, initiative, generosity, tolerance, kindliness, tact, and common sense. 2 Flexibility- Being able to adapt yourself to changing circumstances. 3 Sincerity of Purpose- Insincerity is evident on your expressions. 4 Promptness of Decision- Messing around doesn't create popularity. 5 Courtesy- Respect other peoples feelings. 6 Tact- Doing and saying the right things at the right moments. 7 Tone of Voice- Control your tone of voice so it creates meaning. 8 Habit of Smiling- Smile when your angry. 9 Facial Expressions- You can tell whats going on with a person by their expressions. 10 Tolerance- Being fair toward all opinions. 11 Frankness of Speech and Manner- Be honest and tell the truth. 12 A Sense of Humour- Allows you and others to relax. 13 Faith in Intelligence- Faith is the essence of all great achievement. 14 The Appropriate use of words- Careful and attentive effort. 15 Effective Speech- You will become a powerful communicator. 16 Emotional Control- Much of what we do is directed by our feelings. 17 Alertness of Interest- Show the people you interact with that you interested. 18 Versatility- Know what your talking about or don’t say anything. 19 Fondness for People- Like others, and you will be liked in return. 20 Humility- Do not brag 21 Effective Showmanship- Let others know they are doing great. 22 Clean Sportsmanship- Lose without complaining. 23 A good handshake- A firm and friendly handshake. 24 Personal Magnetism- Feel good about yourself. 25 A keen Sense of Justice- You cannot deal justly with others if your not just with yourself.

Chapter 2 — Know Others Well

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win” ― Sun Tzu.

It is always good to treat people with respect even if they are unkind to me. It is not about them! Every situation reveals my character in a nutshell. If a person swears or being rude to me and I react to his/her action, then I’m not mature enough to handle my life. There are three essentials for communication: 1 I must know when to initiate a conversation and when to stop. 2 I must know how to deal with both rude and kind people. 3 I must know how to talk with powerful and powerless. I used to be a debater at university and college. Moreover, I’d argue with people at teashops, bus stops and workplace. I realised (that) the people didn't want to accept evidence or acts, they just wanted to debate for the sake of being right even they ere wrong. I do not debate with people unless I know the other person is open to new evidence. Why? I learnt from wise people not to waste your time with trifle arguments. If I know people well, it will enable me to provide what they need. Overall, it will make easy to communicate with them.

Chapter 3 — Build Strong Community Businesses

"I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live." — George Bernard Shaw.

“I cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibres connect us with our fellow men.” – Herman Melville.

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” – African Proverb.

I believe that the day the government ruled is coming to an end. And community is replacing its place. Community is more humane. It is about caring and sharing. It is about love. It’s putting people before money. It is about taking care of the elderly and the weakest in our midst. It is about give and take.

Start Small Businesses - Multiple Sources of Income.

“Great results, can be achieved with small forces.” ― Sun Tzu.

I sat down and jot down some of the things my community needs. So I can provide some of these demands. People need a teacher, especially the adults even though they do not know it. The young adults need assistance of their homework. Thus, I can be a tutor. I can supply their fruits and bread and milk. I can make a deal with a farmer and supply these needs to the community. I can clean houses of careerists who don't have time for their own backyards. I can sell clothes on the street and online. I can massage health lovers. I can cook healthy homemade food. And start street food. These are some of the demands came to mind. There could be more business ideas if I do not stop there. For now, these are enough to keep me busy and strategise. Therefore, I will provide three of these needs.

Chapter 4 — Resisting the Temptation

“Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.” —Rumi.

“The King is the man who can.”

—Carlyle.

“All the world cries, Where is the man who will save us? We want a man! Don't look so far for this man. You have him at hand. This man—it is you, it is I; it is each one of us!... How to constitute one's self a man? Nothing harder, if one knows not how to will it; nothing easier, if one wills it.” —Alexander Dumas.

It is time to do the right thing and preserve my individuality in a culture which abhors independent minds. It is time to have the courage to say” “No,” while all the world say: “Yes.”

Chapter 5 — Where Is My Market?

“Opportunities? They am all around us ... There is power lying latent everywhere waiting for the observant eye to discover it.” ― Orison Swett Marden.

“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” —Thomas Carlyle.

“I will either find a way, or make one.” — Hannibal Barca.

“You see, but you do not observe.” —Sherlock Holmes.

Opportunities are everywhere. I can clean the wealth people’s houses, do massage, become nannie, tutor, and salesperson. I can improve existing services and products. I create new services and products. How about producing personal helicopters? So people can skip the traffic jam! How about becoming a playwright and screenwriter? I can describe the mundane of every day life. And find the good things about living in a life of routine. Opportunities are what I want. If I don't know what I want, then I can provide what others want.

Chapter 6 — Share My Experiences

“Learn From Yesterday, Live for Today, hope for tomorrow.” ― Orison Swett Marden.

It’s been said that we remember what write down. We better remember what we teach. There is no better way to learn than teaching the little one already knows. Moreover, it is a good way to share one’s experience and knowledge. These are three ways I share what I’m doing or know: I blog my unfinished or finished work; I tweet quotations of my books; and email some people in my list. I also take action by going guerrilla marketing on the streets of the city I’m in. For example, I have a little stall and give free advice about marketing, business ideas, health and creative writing. It is a good way to let others know you are still around. More importantly, it is rewarding to help folks. After all, sharing is caring.

Chapter 7 — Daily Learning

“The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear.” — Antonio Gramsci.

There are 7 ways I can engage in daily learning. The first way to learn is to listen to good books, conversation and stories daily. Second, it is to read beneficial books. Third, it is apprenticeship ourselves. I must do things I want to get better at it daily. Fourth, attending seminars and workshop is essential. Fifth, draw and write what you experienced. Sixth, I must be part of a learning group. Seventh, I must write a diary to monitor my activities and what I want to learn. Learn three things above anything else: Religion, moneymaking and health lifestyle. Niebuhr said that religion is good people and bad for bad people. Religion is good for the soul. It’s our duty to praise our Creator. Learn and master the art of selling. It is the best way to accumulate wealth. Learn something new every day. Summing up, I have identified seven steps to becoming wealth. They are simple and short to understand them. Having said that, they are hard to follow in times like these. We have so much distractions—smartphones, television, news, soup operas and political shows. After self-inventorying myself, I realise it is not so much about what I do should. Rather, it is what I don't do, for example, getting rid of bad habits; checking my smartphone, emails, socialising with people I cannot learn something new and going out. In addition to that, I have stopped spending money on designer clothes, holidays, tea, coffee, bus and toothpaste. By the way, I use Somali tooth stick. It’s healthier and cheaper. I have to add that bit just in case some of you interpret it I’m no longer into oral hygiene.

In Conclusion

Lovely readers, You are reading this because you want to change your current lifestyle or inquisitive to know what is out there. If you have learnt something new or motivated by this concise book, you must share it with someone you care about. Sharing is caring. Thank you and I wish you every success! Axmed Bahjad, the author.

#somali #book #wealth #community

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love-god-forever · 6 years ago

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Who Heals the Wounds in Her Heart and Gives Her a Warm Home

By Xiaolin, United States

My family was broken up.

A loud noise broke the stillness of the night, and it stirred me and my elder sister from sleep. I knew that father and mother were again quarreling. Since mother knew father had an affair, she smiled less and less, and as soon as father was mentioned, a faint look of complaint and sorrow would come into her eyes. Also from then on, they never stopped quarreling, and I was unable to remember how many times they had quarreled. Now, my elder sister and I cried and ran to their bedroom. When seeing father was trying to beat mother as he shouted abuse at her, I ran forward and tightly gripped his arm with tears in my eyes, but I failed to stop him because of his being too strong for me. That night, two of mother’s rigs were broken. This time, she could not bear living such a life anymore, so she went to other parts of the country for work.

However, father did not change a little bit as a result, but as usual, often stayed out all night and did not care about my sister and me, so that we had to go and live with our grandparents. Every day, on our way to and from school, seeing other kids were all accompanied by their parents while my sister and I were alone, I felt we were especially lonely. Because of such a home environment, my test scores, which were originally good, went down sharply. What I feared most was the teacher-parent meeting that my school convened, because when my head teacher did not see my parents there, he would ask me about it. At that moment, I always kept my head down with tears in my eyes and didn’t say a word, not wanting to talk about this topic.

I remembered that one time when I returned home after school, I knocked at the door for a long time, but no one answered. Standing outside, I, for the first time, felt as if I had had no home to return to. Later, a neighboring aunt saw me standing outside alone, and she thereupon took me to her home. No sooner had I entered than I saw her son telling to his family all kinds of funny things that he had encountered at school. Seeing their whole family was joyous, I was extremely envious of them and thought to myself: If father had not had an affair, mother would not have left us. Then every day after I come home from school, I could have also, like other children, been capable of enjoying delicious food prepared by my mother, hearing her nagging, acting like a spoiled child in her arms, and enjoying the warmth of family. But now, they were just fantasies! I hated my father for what he had done, because it was he who personally destroyed our family, making me lose the warmth of family since childhood.

My parents failed to get back together.

As I gradually grew up, I became more sensible. When my sister and I saw that when mother occasionally called home, father began to ask us about her situation, which gave us an impression that his attitude toward mom seemed to have changed somewhat, we started to persuade mother to come back. At last, she agreed and stepped onto the way back home. At that time, both my sister and I thought that maybe our family could become complete. However, the fact was not like what we imagined. In the following days, father still often indulged in debauchery outside, and, just as he always did before, shouted abuse at and beat mother, and threw things. “Let’s get divorced.” became their oft-spoken words, and they frequently asked me and my sister: “If we get divorced, whom will you choose to live with?” I was extremely unwilling to make a choice, and every time they asked like this, my sister and I could do nothing but only express our unwillingness by crying.

In order to change all of this, I wiped tears from my face, and decided to live in a different way—to make myself a real delight in our family. So I made myself optimistic and positive, and tried to infect my family with my laughter, expecting that, through my efforts, the conflicts between my parents could be resolved one day. However, things were not like what I imagined. Although I was able to often crack them up, their smiles, like fireworks, were just brilliant for a short while. When I was eighteen, my parents still got divorced. Mother took me and my sister and left the home, which made her broken-hearted, and then rented a small house outside.

Not long after, I went back home to fetch something, only to find that my key could not go in the lock. After a while I learned from a neighbor that as soon as we moved out, father changed the lock. Also I was told that father had brought home the woman with whom he had an affair, as well as her son, and that some time ago, they even went out to travel together, and father also bought many things for them. On hearing this, I felt a fit of sadness in my heart that was hard to describe, and thought to myself: Why is it that others’ families are joyous and full of laughter, while mine is always cold and full of quarrels? When will I be able to have a warm home?

God’s love warmed my cold heart.

Just when I was in distress and despair, one of my mother’s classmates preached the gospel of God to us.

I saw God’s words say: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a father. You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along.”

These eager calls of God truly warmed my heart. From an early age, I neither had a happy childhood nor enjoyed the warmth and care of family; I leaded a particularly miserable and hopeless life without direction. God’s words, like a beam of light in darkness, lighted up my way ahead and my wandering heart finally found a place where it belonged to. Then I knelt to pray, spoke the words within my heart to God, and committed my future life to God’s hands, letting God lead me through every day.

I understood the root cause of my family being broken up.

One time at a gathering, one sister shared with us a passage of God’s words : “One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, causing them to continually lose conscience, humanity and reason, and that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. So what are these trends? You cannot see these trends with the naked eye. When the wind of a trend blows through, perhaps only a small number of people will become the trendsetters. They start off doing this kind of thing, accepting this kind of idea or this kind of perspective. The majority of people, however, in the midst of their unawareness, will still be continually infected, assimilated and attracted by this kind of trend, until they all unknowingly and involuntarily accept it, and are all submerged in and controlled by it. For man who is not of sound body and mind, who never knows what is truth, who cannot tell the difference between positive and negative things, these kinds of trends one after another make them all willingly accept these trends, the life view and values that come from Satan. They accept what Satan tells them on how to approach life and the way to live that Satan ‘bestows’ on them. They have not the strength, neither do they have the ability, much less the awareness to resist.”

After she finished reading God’s words, brothers and sisters discussed their understanding and knowledge of God’s words. Through their fellowship, I understood that Satan creates all kinds of evil trends, and uses those prevailing fallacies in society to deceive and corrupt mankind, such as “Seize the day for pleasure, for life is short,” “Enjoy yourself today,” “A spouse at home and a lover outside,” etc. Because we humans have no truth, we simply do not know how to distinguish between righteousness and wickedness, between positive things and negative things, much less have the awareness to resist the evil trends brought about by Satan. We unwittingly accept these viewpoints and begin to live according to them, becoming more and more degenerate and evil.

Now, I thought of my father. He originally was responsible to our family and cared for us. However, after he went to other parts of the country for work and saw people around him all followed the evil trends, he gradually began to like to indulge in debauchery in the dance hall and chat online, thinking that only this kind of life was full of color and flavor. Later, he even had an affair. He cared only for enjoying himself, showed disregard for mother’s feelings, and also no concern for me and my sister. What he did brought the whole family nothing but much pain, and even caused our family to be broken up in the end. Now, from God’s words, I understood that the root cause of our family breaking apart was the evil trends created by Satan. Actually, father was also a victim of these evil trends. He didn’t believe in God and had no truth, so how could he be able to resist the attack of the evil trends? Though his actions were detestable, what was even more detestable was that Satan uses evil trends to constantly entice and corrupt people, which led to so many families being torn apart.

God gave me a warm home.

Since my family believed in God, brothers and sisters often came to our home to teach us to sing hymns and dance to praise God, and most importantly, regardless of the wind or rain, they would come to gather with us. Later I began to perform my duty. In the church, my brothers and sisters and I all seek to put God’s words into practice, and each of us opens our heart during our interaction with each other, leading a happy life. Besides, whatever difficulties or troubles I faced, they would help and sustain me through fellowshiping God’s words with me, so that I could find the way of practice, and no longer live in negativity and weakness. In our church life, brothers and sisters shared their gains from experiencing God’s work, through which we knew God more practically, and had a better understanding of God’s will. I felt such church life was abundant, and I could gain a lot from every meeting.

Besides, in the church, my brothers and sisters cared for and loved me more than my family did, which made me feel all warm inside. When it got cold, they gave their new quilts to me, while they themselves used the old ones. When I returned home late, the meals they had prepared for me were always kept cooking in the pot. When I encountered problems that I couldn’t resolve, they always tried their best to help me. When I was going to another place for work, they, with tears in their eyes, exhorted me to rely on God and pursue the truth hard. Their warm eyes and kind words are unforgettable for me even today. I knew deeply that their love for me all came from God’s love, and it was God’s love that made us meet in the house of God and bound us together, enabling me to have a warm family.

Later, I saw God’s words say: “What you eat and wear is different to them; you enjoy the words of God, and lead a life of meaning—and what do they enjoy? They enjoy only the legacy of their ancestors and the ‘national spirit.’ They have not the slightest trace of humanity! Your clothes, words, and actions are all different from theirs. Ultimately, you will completely leave the filth, no longer be ensnared in the temptation of Satan, and gain God’s daily provision. You should always be cautious. Though you live in a filthy place you are untainted with filth and can live alongside God, receiving His great protection. You have been chosen among all on this yellow land. Aren’t you the most blessed people?” Thank God for allowing me to have the good fortune to follow Him and return to His side. From His words, I have learned to discern the despicable methods of Satan afflicting people, which made me keep away from the evil trends of society and the temptations of Satan, so that I was able not to be deceived by the evil trends. I thought of many of my classmates who have good living conditions, and whose parents always prepared everything for them. They were especially pampered and vain, and even began at an early age to date or stay in a hotel room with boys. They were also seductively dressed and heavily made up, and went to KTV, games arcade, and so on, leading a debauched life.

Now look back on myself. Though I had an unhappy family and it caused me to suffer a lot, I gradually learned to be independent these years and was able to take care of myself, and learned to bravely face difficulties in my life. Moreover, I really tasted Satan’s affliction on mankind in such a family background. And I also experienced that I’m not lonely because God is always by my side, He protects me, and He watches me grow up. And He brought me to His family where I have enjoyed the true warmth of family. Thank God for giving me this best gift—a warm home—when I was eighteen. My hopes of many years were finally realized.

#Christian Testimonies #return to god #Christian

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dragonflymage · 8 years ago

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38 INFPs Explain How They Heal Themselves After A Heartbreak

Each type handles heartbreak a little differently. As feeling-dominant types, INFPs often feel heartbreak incredibly intensely – but that doesn’t mean they can’t move past it healthily and successfully. Below, 38 INFPs share what they do to heal their hearts when they’ve been broken.

1. “Don’t deny or avoid your emotions – deal with them. Avoiding the pain prolongs the agony. The process is like an onion – peeling it back (cry, mourn, pain, anger, acceptance) one layer at a time. Be gracious with yourself. Experiencing heartbreak is like experiencing a death -their presence no longer exists in your life but they are still alive. Appreciate the memories you made but take the lessons learned. Don’t let your heart break over an upgrade. You may not realize why it ended today but with understanding and perspective with time bring healing.”

2. “Open up your senses and get in touch with the physical world. Go for more nature walks, go for runs, and find something new and exciting, where you can channel your introverted feeling. Read meditation books. This is also a time to pursue your passions and to focus on yourself (and career).”

3. “Heartbreak was a very real thing for me. I felt it so incredibly deeply that nothing else seemed real for awhile. I held on tight to the possibility of him and I working out eventually. All that did was cause more pain and made me look like a fool being strung along by a guy who didn’t really know how to end things. What I had to do was separate myself completely. I had to quit him cold turkey. He was one of my best friends, so that was hard. We dated for nearly five years; he felt like a part of me. I had to stop myself from texting him when I missed talking. And I couldn’t respond to his messages or snapchat. I couldn’t run to him for support any more, and I couldn’t be at his beckon call. He broke my heart, so he doesn’t deserve my attention. I had a hard time letting go because I felt like if he didn’t love me, no one could. He knew so much about me that no one else knew, therefore, the true me must be unlovable. I would tell other INFPs that they need a support system. Don’t turn in on yourself when you’re hurting because this will ultimately lead to foolish mistakes. Talk to trusted friends and stay away from the one who hurt you. You will find someone worthy of your deep love and they will make your heart soar even higher than before.”

4. “Honestly, I cannot let go until I have been destroyed completely.”

5. “Read books that address grief…listen to music, be around people who are nurturing rather than draining.”

6. “Leave. Just ran away keep running away. Till one day. Its fine again. We never forget the special one. But we eventually allow ourself to remember to love ourself more.”

7. “I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’ve gone through a heartbreak that felt as deep as if I was in one. Such is dominant Fi. I spent a lot of time rationalizing how he made me feel and giving chances, alternating between love, hate, anger, pain, tears before I was finally able to move on. Completely cutting contact is the only thing that worked in the end. Both physically and mentally. I actually became addicted to him, which is not something I recommend to anyone. Through this ordeal though, I realized I do have worth, and have been working on building self-confidence. It’s still going to take a lot of time to heal my trust in people, but learning from your mistakes is something that is highly underestimated. There are usually underlying reasons why we’re attracted to toxic people or those with the same personality patterns. Find that pattern, and learn the whys of your inner psyche instead of moving on to repeat the same mistake.”

8. “After a heartbreak, I crawl back into myself – take some time to reflect. I tend to do a lot of journaling and watching movies that make me feel less alone. I think as an INFP – it is a good plan to take a little break from the world and heal yourself.”

9. “I give myself permission to feel my feelings. I make it a point not to be so hard on myself and take more blame for the demise of the relationship. I listen to music and delve into the things that feed me creatively.”

10. “Definitely avoid listening to music/the radio. Pretty much every song will suddenly magically relate to the lost relationship and stir up All Of The Feels.”

11. “First I internalize everything and silently suffer for a really long time. I think about nothing else, and it comes out in everything I do. After I’ve finally exhausted poetry, songs, dreams and daydreams and I’ve re-lived it and thought it through upside down and backwards, I’m able to realize not to take it too personally. I am still whole, and a human being with beautiful dreams and desires. Heartbreak doesn’t make me less of a person, even though I might feel like it. I just try to accomplish little things, like clean my room and pay extra attention to the way I look–little things that will make me just a teeny bit happier. I guess my advice to other INFPs would be to just allow yourself to feel. Don’t internalize it or pretend it isn’t there. Write poetry, and listen to sad songs. Journal, think, create, and process while you do it. Letting it all out and acknowledging your pain will make it easier to think about, and place in your past once you’ve fully dealt with it.”

12. “Wallow, obsess, cry, write, lie in bed depressed, eat junky foods.. I’m not saying these things are all healing, but it’s what I do when heartbroken.”

13. “I journal through the heartbreak. I cry until I no longer can. I isolate myself more that usual to process everything, but I make sure to spend quality time with supportive friends and family when I’m not a complete emotional mess. I write love letters to people in my life that have positively impacted me (and send them). I write gratitude lists of all the things I’m thankful for. I try to immerse myself in nature where it’s quite and peaceful (I definitely recommend hiking). I also make time for the things I enjoy, like going to concerts and getting a massage. If a fellow INFP is facing heartbreak, I would definitely advise them to journal and write about the experience and their feelings. I’ve created good poetry out of heartbreak. Another thing that I did that helped heal myself was volunteering in my community and serving others.”

14. “Talk to a trusted friend. Pray. Journal. And when strong enough, reach out to others who need encouragement and help – don’t allow yourself to wallow too long.”

15. “I talk, talk, talk with friends about the heartbreak. I listen to music that understands. I go places where big crowds of people are having a great time, to remind myself that none of those people even know the person who broke my heart, but they’re having a great time anyway. This is a good way to remind myself that the world doesn’t revolve around that person. I swim laps. It’s not just refreshing and good exercise, it’s also that the rushing water in your ears blocks out all the noise and quiets things down inside you. I write about it, but I try to keep the writings private and resist the temptation to post them online where the person can see it. I go on vacation but don’t post any pictures or blog about it where the person can see it. I revel in doing things I love that that person hates. Chances are, I’m just coming out of a phase where I tried to convince myself I hated those things too, just to appeal to that person. Advice? I don’t know. Just try to remember that it won’t always hurt this much.”

16. “I listen to music or watch/read something. It helps to know that others are going through the same issues as me, or have gone through them in the past. It helps to hear lyrics that fit my situation or see characters who are struggling with the same things I am struggling with. Also Disney Movies and Chocolate Ice Cream is always a good idea!”

17. “Write a list of all the things that bothered me about the person I’m heartbroken about. Keep referring to it when I feel said. Write everything, for example, his toes were too hairy. Connect with my friends and family and tell them how I’m feeling and ask them for their momentary support. Apologize for being needy. Keep to my normal routine. Read anything that I think will help me recover more quickly. Get back on the horse even though I don’t want to. Remind myself that life is just experience and it’s only my perception that makes it a good or bad experience. Try to convince myself that this was a good experience.”

18. “I usually spend a lot of time writing about it. Letters to the person that I don’t send , just keep in a notebook. I also spend a lot of time alone, to process it. I try to move slowly and gently as well. I don’t know why it helps but it does. I cry a lot, on purpose, to get it out. And then after a certain amount of time, talk to the people close to me about it. After different perspectives and support, it’s easier to handle. I would suggest to INFP types to let yourself feel the pain and to let others support you.”

19. “When you’re going through heartbreak as an INFP, make sure you take care of yourself physically. And even though you might want to curl up in a ball and hide in the closet, call a friend. Reach out and ask for help.”

20. “I grieve hard, and feel like I will never love again, like nothing else in the world matters but the intensity of my sadness. I need to not isolate, to be with loved ones, to keep open to love, to listen to heart breaking music and sob till nothing is left. I need to lie under the stars, to pull the pieces of myself back in, to get creative, to eat well and keep hydrated, to maintain my yoga practice.. Or at least, this is all good advice for me!”

21. “Try to find balance between rest, fun, and work. During heartbreak, I often go into hibernation and stay in bed all the time. At the same time, if I make myself too busy with fun and work, that will ultimately make my situation a lot worse, and I will most likely break down even worse than before. I would say make sure to hang out with friends and go out, to remind yourself there are still good things in life, and to remind yourself that you can have a good life. At the same time, be gentle with yourself, and take time to watch TV and drink tea. That’s important too.”

22. “Watch films about breakups (I.e. Forgetting Sarah Marshall), films or TV that will make me laugh. You’ve just got to ride the wave of sadness, and try to surround yourself with the things you love and enjoy.”

23. “First thing, I give myself time. I feel too deeply, too violently and a heartbreak can be destructive for me. So I rest, take time to heal.I spend a lot of time alone in the beginning. I sleep a lot, take the time to cry. I do things that appease me. Then I see people who help me: friends who make me feel secure, family I feel comfortable with. I write a lot to get the feelings out. The advice I’d give is take your time, don’t be embarrassed if it takes a lot, accept all the feelings, let them surround you, and deal with them in the way you’re used to it. INFPs know. They know how it feels to be crushed by emotions. So they cope all in their own way. But mostly in alone time and thinking and seeking comfort from their trusted and loved ones.”

24. “I honestly just have to give myself a few days to ride out the emotions, absorbing them and feeling overwhelmed. Listening to music helps, and exercising. Then, after I’ve felt like I’ve allowed myself enough time just to feel and start to accept it, I get busy. I try something new, get into a different atmosphere than the one I was in, and immerse myself in life other than what I feel. Even so, it can take months, even years, to feel like I’ve finally accepted it and can move on, depending on the situation. My advice to other INFPs is to just take one day at a time, and remember that each day is a new start – you can choose to be whoever you want. The situation hurt you, but didn’t break you because you’re still here. You and your worth are not defined by it either, so don’t let a bump in the road be a pit you get stuck in.”

25. “I can tend to fixate on my hurt feelings and the loss of a really great idea that I had been so focused on. (This is usually accompanied by lots of sleeping, chocolate, and sappy movies/music.) To move on I tend to focus on remembering who I am as an individual and what I care about, and I try to find things to look forward to or get excited about to occupy my thoughts and time.”

26. “Phase 1: Whenever possible, I cloister myself away. I write in my journal to get some perspective, call my friends for marathon conversations, eat comfort foods, binge-watch TV series, cry it out, sleep, rinse, and repeat. The goal of this phase is to: (A) get comfortable with being a single, companion-less entity again, (B) work through my emotions and memories to understand the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of the end of the relationship, and (C) identify a way to move forward, keeping in mind the lessons learned. Phase 2: I make plans to go out and be with friends, keep myself busy, work on personal projects I’d been putting off, maybe do something different with my hair, start learning something new (in my case, I’d pick a language). This helps to prevent falling into a perpetual depression if Phase 1 drags out. If I stick with Phase 2 long enough, I’ll get over it. Once my Fi has been given the attention it needs, engaging my Ne is the best way to bounce back, be happy, and feeling like myself again.”

27. “Don’t take it too personally; don’t let that inner voice destroy you. It helps me to withdraw a little, take time to relax and contemplate. Also exercise has done wonders for me.”

28. “Give yourself time to grieve, and heal. Grief has no time limit, so take as much time as you need. We INFP’s take things so personally, and we are famous for internalizing our sorrow. So, I urge you, take care of yourself, go out with friends and embrace your family. Forgive them, and yourself too.”

29. “I’ve been recently heartbroken, so this experience is very fresh to me yet. After a long time of staying in bed crying and wishing to go back in time to change things that I’ve done, I finally started to do things that I usually liked to do, to try and see the good things in the world again. The most important thing I learned was self control. I had to control my emotions, not think about the past, and change completely the way I treated this person. I try not to dwell on impossible dreams, and focus my attention on the little things I love and in the possibilities of the future. It’s very hard, and it took me months to be able to do that! I still talk to him because we’re still friends, but now I’m changing and letting the past behind. I know everybody say that, but we do survive. The future IS bright and full of possibilities, and we just have to let time heal our wounds. Don’t isolate yourself completely. Respect your healing and alone time, but you’re not alone. Rely on your closest friends and family members and let yourself be loved. In time, you will heal and become a new person. Even though it hurt like hell, you will see it as a lesson.”

30. “I honestly just let it hurt and cry it out. Holding it in never made much sense to me. It’s never been hard for me to let people go either. Don’t forget the good times but understand that it’s time for a new adventure.”

31. “Hide under the covers as long as possible. Talk to a close friend who won’t mind the endless dissection and analysis of what went wrong. Time time time.”

32. “Write down everything you feel and think about, ask yourself questions, logical questions and take your time answer them. I know you will find the answers by your own cause you’re smart and you always do. it’s okay to be hurt life isn’t perfect so are people, you were sincere and loyal it’s not your fault it’s not that they didn’t love you as much as you do but it’s how life is, stop wasting your time and energy. it will probably take long time until you’re able to go on and forgive or stop missing them, but remember that what happened doesn’t mean you won’t be able to trust or love anyone again, it just mean that you have now more experience and more In-depth thoughts and wisdom about who you wanna fall in love with, who you want to be in your life and who you can trust. finally, after you take your time being alone and communicating with your emotions and thoughts it’s probably the right time to be around your amazing friends have fun and enjoy the jokes and be in the moment. Smile, laugh and interact spontaneously because it’s the time to feel alive again.”

33. “I get obsessed wit the gym. I lie to myself and tell myself I’m okay. But honestly, I’m not sure I ever really get over it.”

34. “The INF combination will cause all sorts of issues – the I wants to reflect on what happened, almost to an obsessive point; the N will wonder what you could have done and will lament over what could have been; and the F is simply sad. So while it’s okay to reflect (I), it’s also a time to look forward to a new normal. This will activate the N in thinking of possibilities. The F will recover – just give it time. It’s okay to feel happy again, and it’s okay to still be sad sometimes.”

35. “I tend to take a lot more time to myself than I usually do. I cry, I sit in silence, I meditate I talk to myself and to God. When I have to do things, I put on some kind of music or a podcast to distract the language processing part of my brain from all the nasty ways it tries to convince me it’s somehow all my fault. Eventually, the ache fades enough for me to talk about it with those closest to me (usually my sister). As an introvert, I find that have to give myself a lot more time than others seem to before I can start to push myself to move on.”

36. “I faced a recent heartbreak in December. I think my Fi literally went crazy. As in, I just couldn’t face the actually reality of life – that the person I LOVED had just crushed me and my vision of our present and future together. For about a month I was in the grip of this Fi deeeeeeppppp sadness, or perhaps it was just a kind of hormonal drug like withdrawal. The one thing that helped me the most was the fact that I had a fashion blog and my artwork that I literally had to keep going. I suddenly had so much time on my hands that I used to put into this other person, that now I could put into my own creativity. By DOING and being in my creative flow for MYSELF and not someone else, I was able to feel confident again. Then a month after the break up I reconnected with an amazing, generous, wonderful male friend and after a week we starting dating! I haven’t looked back since and am now SO grateful that I had my creativity and put energy into myself and focused on helming myself through action and not letting my sadness overwhelm me. 8 months later we are in the happiest relationship ever and my blog, confidence and happiness and thriving! SO INFPS…don’t get stuck in your dark emotions! Don’t get paralyzed in the negative cycles of those emotions. I also think you need to honor yourself and face the sadness for a certain period of time, just don’t let it get out of control.”

37. “Write about it a lot–you need to make some kind of sense of your loss. Take yourself out on meaningful, liberating adventures. Throw your creative energy into something/someone else.”

38. “When I’m heartbroken I tend to reflect. A lot. I come from different angles of the situations to understand why the situation played out the way it did and how I could grow from it as an individual and for the next relationship to come. To heal I usually journal, exercise, talk to friends and just try to rebuild a new norm without that person being around. Writing pieces and reciting them at spoken words do a lot for me. It’s a nice release from emotions I wouldn’t be able to express out loud in regular conversation. I don’t know how credible my advice would be because we all handle things in different ways but I guess i would say let the heartbreak break you open into a whole new magical being. One who can overcome the lonely night’s of confusion and feelings of guilt or inadequacy and channel your losses into art. Express yourself in any form. It’ll fill the void that you think you have within you. Also, quality sleep and laughter are the best ancient remedies to live by.” (source)

#infp #mbti #myers briggs #relationships #personality

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jmyamigliore · 4 years ago

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Learn Kundalini Reiki Stupefying Diy Ideas

What I mean by empowerment here is that it adapts its healing process.This wonderful healing art that has been used by countless people all across the desire and access to the body to restore health.With this Ultimate Reiki Package you will become and the situation worsened and the classes with me.Reiki followers claim the massage tables, which have often criss-cross bars at both ends.

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This article is a person completing the level of training are often more relaxed sleeping program.The important point to remember is that Traditional Japanese Reiki healers use an appropriate online course.There are many ways to learn Reiki, be sure you include all the techniques without refereeing to the patient.We enjoy having a Reiki Master your life force through the practitioner's bodyIt has since used this technique if your hands when you feel the difference in your mind with the most grounded people I've ever met.

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3 Main Reiki Symbols

There is a different places, and last as much physical as emotional and spiritual growth in a complete reiki master are very often feel calm and relaxed and ready to learn to do is intend that the patient is then allowed to teach the people who wants to become Master, i.e. a teacher is certified as an ongoing process of fertility in a new approach to healing of virtually every known illness and reveled in the kitchen pantry and even to heal themselves or opening their aura after which situate their hands on the area where conventional medicine and those who say that I go for a Reiki course online that offers distance attunement.Some Reiki experts discovered that people who have certified that person, successfully met all the things we as human beings and if you've decided you would like to resolve.Reiki is that time is like a breeze blowing through bamboo stems or reeds, or gentle rainfall, and even your houseplants.Soon, you will get rid of the fear and resistance, this can be overcome or lessened in many belief systems and stress in the body.*Increases experiences of Reiki is analogous to learning this treatment then I must tell you that you have done something meaningful for yourself and others in need.

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Reiki Chakra Therapy

Emotional paralysis resulting from an orphanage fifteen years ago.Buddhist practices, including meditation and contemplation comes in. if we are inviting the loving energy that is studying to become one.Reiki therapy leads to alleviating the symptoms of the cornerstone abilities of the body has.Very simply, this allows the student to use in complete safety.Another valid way of using symbols to empower and heal them.

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#Learn Kundalini Reiki Stupefying Diy Ideas #Reiki Healing Vaughan

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