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helen-with-an-a · 20 hours

Note

Can you please do something based on ‘last kiss’ by Taylor Swift where r and alexia break up and r moves to arsenal after and ends up happily dating Alesia or Leah? I love your writing btw!

Hiiiii - so I am not a swiftie, but it is a pretty good song, and I really like how this ended up. I went with Alessia for the love interest and I hope you enjoy it.

Last Kiss

Alessia Russo x reader; ex!Alexia Putellas x reader

Description: R moves to Arsenal after breaking up with Alexia

Word count: 5.2k

It was a mutual decision. Or at least, that was what you told yourself. It was, somewhat. It was hard, being Alexia Putellas’s girlfriend. And you, the relatively unknown, younger player fresh faced to Barcelona and all that it entailed. It wasn’t just the pressure of being with Alexia, though that was part of it. The captain, the Ballon d’Or winner, the face of FC Barcelona Femení – she was everything, and she was everywhere. When the media wasn't buzzing about her latest on-field heroics, they were dissecting her personal life, which inevitably meant dissecting you. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle the scrutiny; you knew that came with the territory of dating someone like Alexia. But it was more than that.

There was a shadow you couldn’t seem to escape, a shadow that was always there, even when it was just the two of you in the quiet of your apartment. You had started to question every move you made on the pitch, wondering if you were being compared to her, if people saw you as nothing more than Alexia’s girlfriend rather than a player in your own right. You had your own ambitions, your own dreams, and it was hard not to feel like they were being swallowed up by the enormity of hers.

The distance between you two grew slowly, almost imperceptibly at first. A missed call here, a rescheduled dinner there. You both had your careers, your own paths to forge, but somehow, it seemed like hers always took precedence. And why wouldn’t they? She was a star, a legend in the making, and you... you were still trying to find your place.

You told yourself that you could handle it, that this was just part of the journey, part of loving someone as extraordinary as Alexia. But the truth was, it was exhausting. You found yourself second-guessing everything – whether you were good enough, whether you deserved to be in her life, in this city, on this team. The pressure mounted, both from within and from the outside world, and it was only a matter of time before something had to give.

When the end came, it wasn’t dramatic. There were no shouting matches, no slammed doors, just a quiet conversation in the early hours of the morning that felt like it had been a long time coming. “I think we both need some space,” you had said, your voice steady despite the pain. Alexia had nodded, her eyes sad but understanding. It was mutual, you both agreed. You needed to focus on your career, and she on hers. She had leaned in to kiss you one final time, the soft press of her lips a bittersweet farewell. It was a kiss that held both the warmth of what had been and the sorrow of what was ending. As you pulled away, you could see the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes, and it broke your heart all over again.

As you walked away, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were leaving more than just a relationship behind. You were leaving a part of yourself, the part that believed you could stand beside her and still be seen as your own person.

You had officially called it quits in late March. The season was in full swing, with games piling up, and the demands of training intensifying. It was easier to bury yourself in the rhythm of the pitch, to lose yourself in the drills, the plays, the noise of the crowd. You told yourself it was for the best—less distraction, more focus on what really mattered. But the emptiness gnawed at you in quiet moments, when the adrenaline of a match faded and the silence of your apartment grew louder.

Your teammates noticed, of course. They were your friends, your support system, but they were also Alexia’s. Conversations seemed to shift around you, careful not to linger too long on her name or on anything that might remind you of what you had let go. They meant well, but the avoidance only made it worse, a constant reminder of what was missing.

On the pitch, you played harder than ever, determined to prove yourself, to shake off the notion that you were just “Alexia’s ex.” But with every tackle, every goal, there was a lingering doubt – was this enough? Would it ever be enough? You started to question whether you belonged here at all, whether Barcelona was really your team or just the backdrop to a story that was never truly yours.

The decision was easy to make. Arsenal had been knocking on your door for a while, and now, with everything that had happened, it felt like the right time to answer. A fresh start, a new challenge—exactly what you needed to step out of the shadow that had loomed so large in Barcelona. The opportunity to play for one of the most storied clubs in England was too good to pass up, and deep down, you knew you needed this move, not just for your career, but for yourself.

The negotiations were swift, almost too easy, and before you knew it, you were packing up your life in Barcelona. As you closed the door to your apartment for the last time, there was a strange sense of finality, but also a flicker of excitement. London would be different. The pace, the culture, the team – it all promised a fresh perspective, a chance to rediscover the love for the game that had felt so tangled up in everything else back in Spain.

In typical English fashion, it was raining when you landed at Gatwick. The rain rolled steadily down the windows as you waited for your luggage, the soft patter against the glass a constant background noise. It was a far cry from the warm, golden light of Barcelona, but you had prepared yourself for this – new city, new weather, new life. You pulled your hoodie tighter around you, already feeling the chill in the air, a sharp contrast to the Mediterranean warmth you had grown accustomed to.

You knew the club had sent someone to collect you. You had assumed it would be a driver, or maybe one of the backroom staff. You had never thought that it would be a player. As you stepped out of the baggage claim area, scanning the crowd for your name, you spotted her immediately. She stood out even in the bustling terminal, with her blonde hair pulled back into a casual ponytail and a relaxed smile that seemed to make the whole airport feel less overwhelming. Alessia Russo, Arsenal’s star striker and one of England’s brightest talents, was waiting for you with an Arsenal hoodie and a warm grin.

For a moment, you were caught off guard. Why would someone like Alessia be here to pick you up? But then she waved, walking toward you with a confidence that was somehow both disarming and reassuring.

“Welcome to London!” she said, her voice bright and friendly as she extended her hand. “Hope the flight wasn’t too bad.”

You shook her hand, still processing the fact that Alessia Russo, of all people, was here to greet you. “Thanks. I… wasn’t expecting you.”

She laughed, a light, musical sound that instantly put you at ease. “Yeah, I get that a lot. But I figured it might be nice to see a friendly face right off the bat. Plus, the club thought it would be a good way to help you settle in. New city, new team – a it can be a lot.”

You nodded, feeling a little less anxious now. “Yeah, it’s definitely a lot to take in. But this is a nice surprise.”

Alessia grabbed one of your bags with an effortless ease, motioning for you to follow her toward the exit. “We’ve all been there, you know? The first day, the first few weeks—everything’s new and a bit overwhelming. But trust me, the team’s great, and everyone’s excited to have you here. You’re going to fit right in.”

As you walked through the terminal, you found yourself relaxing more with each step. Alessia’s presence was calming, her laid-back demeanour a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions you’d been feeling since your arrival. It was hard not to feel a little starstruck, given her reputation, but she was making it easy to forget that this was the same player you’d watched dazzle on the pitch.

“So, we might have to get you a new hoodie, but that can all wait until tomorrow.” Alessia said with a teasing grin, gesturing at your top. You looked down and saw what she meant – the bold Barça badge on your hoodie was unmistakable, and beneath it, the small “AP11” embroidered in the fabric felt like a subtle reminder of a past you were trying to leave behind.

You smiled sheepishly, tugging at the hem of your hoodie. “Yeah, I guess this isn’t exactly the right gear for my new club.”

Alessia chuckled, her eyes sparkling with good humour. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you sorted. I’ve got a spare Arsenal hoodie somewhere, and I’m pretty sure it’ll suit you better than that old thing.”

You appreciated how light-hearted she was making the situation, how easily she brushed aside any potential awkwardness. It was just a hoodie, after all, but it felt like more – like shedding a layer of skin that no longer fit.

As you exited the terminal, Alessia continued talking, filling the air with stories about her first days at Arsenal, about the banter in the locker room, the intensity of training, and the quirky rituals some of the players had. Her stories were full of warmth and laughter, and you found yourself feeling more excited than nervous about what was to come.

“Whereabouts are you living?” She asked calmly as she pulled out of the car park. You gave her the address of the hotel where you’d be staying for the next few days until your flat was fully set up.

“It’s just a temporary place until I get everything sorted.”

Alessia nodded, but there was a look of concern in her eyes. “Alright, but you know, if you’re staying at a hotel, you’re probably going to feel a bit... disconnected. Why don’t you come stay with me for a few days? It’ll be easier for you, and I promise, you won’t be in the way.”

You were taken aback by the offer. “Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that. It’s really kind of you, but –” She cut you off with a friendly, but firm tone.

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. Trust me, I know how disorienting it can be, especially when you’re in a new city and everything feels up in the air. It’s just a few days. My place is pretty spacious, and it’ll give you a chance to get a feel for the city and settle in without the stress of hotel living.”

You hesitated, feeling a mix of gratitude and reluctance. “I really appreciate it, Alessia, but I don’t want to impose.” She laughed softly, shaking her head.

“Imposing would be showing up unannounced with a mountain of luggage. This is just me helping out a teammate. Plus, it’s a great way to get to know each other better. I promise, it’ll be fun.”

After those few days, you never really left Alessia’s flat. You had set up your own flat fairly quickly, desperate not to outstay our welcome. But without Alessia next to you, what had looked like a roomy, yet cosy flat seemed devoid of warmth.

The transition from staying with Alessia to being alone was jarring. Your new apartment, which had seemed so promising, felt almost empty. The excitement of setting up your new home quickly faded as the silence settled in. You missed the way Alessia’s laughter filled the space, the easy conversations that had become a comforting routine.

You found yourself spending more time at her place than you had anticipated. Every evening after training, you would head back to Alessia’s, seeking the familiarity and comfort that you had come to associate with her company. What began as simple visits for meals or to catch up on the day soon turned into more. You’d stay for dinner, then linger over dessert, and before you knew it, you were helping her with the dishes or curled up on the couch watching movies together.

There was something about the way Alessia made you feel – safe, understood, and cherished – that made it hard to stay away. You found yourself growing closer to her in ways you hadn’t expected. She had an effortless way of drawing you out, of making you feel like you were part of her world, not just a guest.

One evening, as you were sitting together on the couch after a particularly gruelling day of training, Alessia reached for the remote to turn off the TV. “You know,” she said, turning to face you with a thoughtful expression, “I’ve really enjoyed having you around. It’s been nice to have someone to share this space with.”

You looked at her, feeling a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the cozy throw blanket you were both wrapped in. “I’ve enjoyed it too. More than I expected, actually. It’s been… really nice.”

Alessia’s gaze softened, and she reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face. “I’m glad. Because I was starting to think maybe I’d gotten used to you being here. It feels like something’s missing when you’re not around.”

Her touch was gentle, and the look in her eyes made your heart race. It was clear that there was something more than just friendship between you, something that had been building up quietly over time. You hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words, but the emotions were too strong to ignore.

“You know, I think I feel the same way,” you said softly, your voice trembling slightly with the weight of your confession. “It’s more than just getting used to your company. It’s like… I really enjoy being with you. More than I expected.”

Alessia’s eyes lit up with a mix of relief and joy. “I’m glad you feel that way,” she said, her voice just as soft. “Because I’ve been feeling the same. I didn’t want to rush anything or make you uncomfortable, but I think I’ve fallen for you, in a way that’s more than just friendship.”

The admission hung in the air, both exhilarating and terrifying. You could see the sincerity in her eyes, and it mirrored your own feelings. Before you could say anything more, Alessia leaned in, closing the distance between you, and kissed you gently. The kiss was tender and exploratory, filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that had been building up between you.

When you pulled back, you could see the same mix of hope and affection in her eyes. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Alessia admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

You smiled, feeling a sense of rightness and completeness that you hadn’t felt before. “I’m glad you did.”

It was something that you had been expecting, but you were still dreading it. You had gotten lucky the year before and never met Barcelona before you crashed out of the UWCL. You had a feeling you wouldn’t be so fortunate this time round.

The Champions League knockout draws were to be made, and the anticipation in the air was palpable. Arsenal had made it through to the group stages with comparatively little effort, and you had been following the results of the other teams closely, hoping to avoid the inevitable clash with Barcelona. The thought of facing your former team, the one you’d left behind and still held such mixed feelings for, made your stomach churn.

As the draw ceremony unfolded, you sat with Alessia, her legs draped over yours as you leaned into her. A few of your teammates sat without in the Arsenal lounge, the room filled with a nervous energy. They had accepted your relationship fairly smoothly. You had a phone call from Ella threatening retribution if anything happened with Alessia and Leah had given you a stern talking to – as captain or as a concerned friend you had yet the figure out. The names of the teams were being pulled from the hat one by one, and every name that came up made your heart race a little faster.

When the final draw was announced, the room fell silent for a heartbeat before the reactions began. Arsenal was set to play Barcelona in the semi-finals, if you made it that far. You could feel the collective intake of breath around you, the weight of the draw settling over everyone. The atmosphere shifted; the excitement of the Champions League clash now tinged with the challenge of facing your former team.

Alessia, noticing the tension in your posture, squeezed your hand reassuringly. “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” she said softly, her voice steady and reassuring.

“I know, I just haven’t seen them since I left. And I didn’t leave on the best of terms with some of them.” You glanced at her, the unease evident in your eyes. Alessia knew exactly who you were talking about. You had shared everything about your past relationship with Alexia, how the fallout had left you scarred and how you were terrified of history repeating itself.

Alessia nodded, her expression one of understanding and empathy. “I get it. It’s not just another game – it’s personal. But remember, you’ve changed and grown since then. You’re not the same person you were when you left. And neither are they. I know from Lucy that she’s seeing someone else, if that’s what your worried about.” Her words helped, but as she spoke, it felt like the room around you faded into darkness. Your focus narrowed, and suddenly you were back in Mapí’s flat, a vivid flashback triggered by Alessia’s reassurance.

You saw Alexia’s hand extended to you, the warmth of her touch still fresh in your memory. The music was a distant thrum, barely audible over the chatter of friends and the clinking of glasses. Alexia, with her characteristic smile and one hand tucked in her pocket, was trying to pull you onto the makeshift dance floor, her hand inviting and playful. “Come on, let’s dance,” she had said, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

As the memory played out, you saw yourself taking Alexia’s hand, moving onto the dance floor with her. The shared moments of closeness, the shared laughter – everything was tinged with a sense of inevitability. The dance floor was filled with other friends, but it felt like it was just the two of you.

In the present moment, Alessia’s voice brought you back. “You okay?” she asked softly, her concern evident in her eyes.

You blinked, coming back to the reality of the Arsenal lounge. The room was still buzzing with nervous energy, but Alessia’s presence anchored you. You took a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering echoes of the past.

“Yeah,” you said, managing a weak smile. “Just got lost in a memory.”

“But you’re ok, right?” You nodded, smiling up at her getting lost in those bright blue eyes.

“Yeh, I’ve got you, how could I not be ok?” She smiled widely, her cheeks blushing a rosy red. You reached up to fiddle with her fingers on the arm that held you close. Alessia’s face was so close now, her breath warm against your skin. You felt an irresistible pull towards her, a desire to close the distance and connect on a deeper level.

Without thinking, you leaned in, and Alessia met you halfway. The kiss was soft at first but grew with each moment. It was tender and filled with a warmth that seemed to envelop both of you completely. You had never felt so in love before. You thought you had known love with Alexia, but this was a whole new ballpark. Every sensation was heightened, every emotion intensified. You imagined a future together that felt so vivid and real – walking in the park with a tiny tot wobbling unsteadily just ahead of you, a middle-aged you and Alessia at a graduation, beaming with pride at the family you had created, and an elderly you both sitting in the back garden, surrounded by grandchildren, reminiscing about a lifetime filled with love and joy.

As you pulled away, savouring the lingering warmth of her lips and the intimacy of the moment, a sudden loud wolf whistle pierced the air. You turned to see McCabe standing a few feet away, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Well, well, well, look at you two!” Katie called out, her grin widening. “Got to say, I wasn’t expecting to see this kind of action in the middle of our lunch break!”

Alessia chuckled, her cheeks flushed slightly as she pulled back from the kiss, her hand still resting lightly on yours. “Katie, really?”

Katie’s laughter was infectious, and the tension in the room seemed to dissipate as her playful energy filled the space. “Hey, hey, you were the two going to town, not me,” she said with a wink. “You two look adorable, but don’t think this means I’m not gonna tell Captain Kimmy you were macking on in a public space. At least save it for home.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the spontaneity of the moment breaking through the seriousness of the day. Alessia shook her head, trying to hide her smile. “Sorry, I was just comforting my girlfriend,” she teased.

“I think you were doing more than just comforting,” Katie jeered, sticking her tongue out at the blonde.

Barcelona hadn’t changed much. Not really. The city still looked the same, the vibrant streets bustling with life, the iconic architecture standing proud against the skyline. La Sagrada Família reached for the heavens, a symbol of both the city’s timeless beauty and its ever-evolving nature. The familiar sights were a bittersweet reminder of your past, but they also offered a sense of continuity and connection.

The Camp Nou stood as majestic as ever. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of nostalgia as you approached the stadium. It had been the backdrop to many of your greatest moments and some of your hardest times. Now, it was the venue for one of the most crucial matches of your career.

You had managed to sneak away with Alessia for a few hours. The anticipation of the match was still looming, but you both needed a break from the intensity. The chance to explore Barcelona together was a welcome distraction.

You guided Alessia through the narrow, winding streets of your old neighbourhood. “This is my favourite coffee shop,” you said, pointing to a quaint café with a charming, old-world feel. The aroma of freshly ground coffee and baked goods wafted through the air. “I used to come here every morning before training. It’s got the best cortado in the city.”

Alessia smiled, her eyes lighting up as she took in the cozy ambiance. “It’s perfect. I can see why you love it.”

You ordered your usual – an espresso and a pastry – and found a small table by the window. As you sipped your coffee, you watched Alessia savour her first taste of the cortado, her eyes closing in appreciation.

“This is amazing,” she said, smiling at you. “I think you’ve found the best spot in Barcelona.”

You chuckled, pleased that she enjoyed it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m happy I’ve been able to show you what used to be such a big part of my life.”

After your coffee, you took Alessia for a stroll along the beach. The early morning light cast a soft glow over the water, and the beach was pleasantly quiet, a contrast to the bustling city. You led her to the spot where you used to come to clear your mind before the day’s challenges.

“It’s not always like this,” you said, gesturing to the empty stretch of sand. “Usually, it’s packed with tourists. But early in the morning, it’s like you have the place to yourself.”

Alessia looked out at the shimmering sea, the gentle waves lapping at the shore. “It’s beautiful,” she said softly. “I can see why you loved coming here.”

You walked side by side, the sound of the waves creating a soothing rhythm. As you approached the end of the beach, you pointed out the old lighthouse in the distance, a landmark that had guided you through many of your own personal journeys.

“This lighthouse has always been a symbol for me,” you said, your voice reflective. “It’s a reminder that even when you’re lost or facing a storm, there’s always a way forward. I used to come her a lot … towards the end, before I left.”

Alessia squeezed your hand gently. “I think it’s a beautiful metaphor. And I’m really honoured you chose to share this with me.”

When you returned to the team, the focus shifted back to the semi-final. The match preparations were in full swing, and the energy in the Arsenal camp was a blend of excitement and determination. The familiar routines and strategies took over, but you carried with you the calm and clarity from your time with Alessia.

You pulled out the familiar blue and red hoodie, the sleeves well-worn and tattered, the letters peeling slightly. You weren’t quite sure why you hadn’t gotten rid of it sooner. Maybe there was a part of you that was still clinging to the life you had in the Comital City.

As you held the hoodie, you could almost feel the echoes of past moments – the excitement of first stepping onto the Camp Nou pitch, the camaraderie of teammates, the way you had fallen for the girl with hazel eyes, your first kiss, the first I love you, the first fight, that final goodbye. The way the emotional highs and lows that had defined your time with Barcelona was so entangled in that hoodie. Each frayed edge and faded logo seemed to tell a story of its own.

You ran your fingers over the letters, your thoughts drifting back to the times when this hoodie was your constant companion, a source of comfort and a symbol of your commitment to the team. It had been there through celebrations and defeats, through the ups and downs of your journey. It was more than just a piece of clothing; it was a tangible link to your past. You folded it carefully before placing it in your rucksack, being careful not to squash it too much.

It was after the match when you were finally able to see her. She looked the same, yet different. Her blonde hair was back and brighter than ever, pulled up into her signature style. Those hazel eyes that used to hold so much love for you, now gazed adoringly at someone else. You had managed to bring the hoodie out with you to the subs bench, keeping it wrapped up in your Arsenal jumper until you were switched out.

As you walked across the pitch, your eyes caught Alexia’s once more. She was talking animatedly with Lucy and Keira, her face lit up with genuine joy. You saw her glance in your direction, and for a moment, those hazel eyes met yours. There was no rush of emotion, no pang of longing - just a simple acknowledgment. In that moment, you realised you were well and truly over Alexia. The past had its place, but it no longer held the power it once did.

Alexia’s gaze lingered for a heartbeat longer, and then she excused herself from her conversation with her teammates. She approached you with a genuine smile, her eyes reflecting a mix of nostalgia and warmth.

“Hey,” she said as she reached you, her voice friendly and upbeat.

“Hi,” you smiled at her. “Congrats on the win, should’ve known the midfield would been absolutely stacked. It’s definitely not fair to have to play against you, Aitana and Patri,” you teased.

Alexia laughed, a sound that felt like a soothing balm. “Stop, Williamson and you as a centre-back pairing are equally as terrifying. I don’t know why we didn’t move you to the back line when you were here.”

You chuckled, feeling the ease of the conversation flow naturally. “Maybe I would’ve been less of a target if I had. But I suppose I’m happy with how things turned out. Besides, it’s nice to be on the other side of the field for once.”

“Fair point,” Alexia said, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “And, honestly, it’s good to see you thriving. I remember the days when you’d barely make it through a training session without tripping over your own feet.”

You laughed, playfully nudging her. “Oh, really? I think you might be remembering the wrong player. I seem to recall you falling flat on your face trying to impress everyone with that ‘signature move’ of yours.”

You felt an arm sneak around your waist. You didn’t need to look down to see who it was. “Sorry to interrupt, my love, but you left this by your things. I thought you might need it.” Alessia’s smooth, honey-like voice was a welcome and familiar comfort.

You turned to see her holding the blue and red hoodie you had brought with you. The sight of it in her hands felt like a grounding force amid the whirlwind of emotions and conversations. You took the hoodie from her with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Lessi.” You leaned across as pressed a swift peck to her lips.

Alessia’s eyes softened, and she returned your smile. “Anytime.”

You glanced back at Alexia, who was watching with a mix of curiosity and amusement. “Um, this is for you. I probably should have given it back ages ago, but … I don’t really know why I kept it. It’s yours anyway.” You extended the hoodie in her direction.

Alexia took the hoodie from you, her fingers brushing against yours in a brief, electric touch. She looked at it, a small smile playing at her lips. “Esa puta sudadera con capucha,” she joked, rolling her eyes as she took the fabric from your hands. “I had wondered where it had gone.”

You laughed, the tension melting away. “I guess it was hiding out with me, like a little piece of nostalgia.”

Alessia leaned in, her tone playful. “Did you steal it just to keep a part of Barcelona with you?”

You grinned, nudging her gently. “Maybe just a bit. It had sentimental value.”

Alexia chuckled, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Well, now it’s found its way back home. I’ll give it a good wash and return it to its rightful place in the archives of my wardrobe.”

“Glad to hear it,” you said, grinning. “I’m sure it’s been feeling lonely.”

“Definitely,” Alexia said with a wink. “But it’s good to see it again.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “You too. You seem really happy.”

“As do you,” Alexia said, her smile genuine and warm. “Seems like you’ve found your place.”

“You could say that”, you replied, looking at Alessia, squeezing her against you. “I’m in a pretty good place right now.”

380 notes · View notes

kurokawaia · 1 day

Text

❛ SHE'S PASSED OUT ❜

‧₊˚. 𝐹𝐸𝒜𝒯𝒰𝑅𝐼𝒩𝒢 :: Dazai x Fem!Reader, Chuuya x Fem!Reader, Atsushi x Fem!Reader, Fyodor x Fem!Reader, Ranpo x Fem!Reader ༊*·˚

⋆·˚ ༘ * WARNINGS :: (overall warnings, will be specific in individual) passing out during sex, praise, degradation, overstimulation, creampie, no protection, missionary, prone bone, cow girl, riding, doggy, slapping, begging, slight? choking, SOMNOPHILIA, oral -> female receiving, hair pulling/tugging, use of a safe word + more (total word count 5.7k+)

𝒫𝑅𝒪𝑀𝒫𝒯 :: Passing out during sex with bsd men (bc it's too overwhelming) and having to get tapped back in .ೃ࿐

‧₊˚. HONEY'S NOTE :: if this isn't your cup of tea then simply scroll past. I do not condone this behaviour in real life, this is purely fictional, meaning it isn't real.

m.list | bsd m.list

‧₊˚. DAZAI OSAMU :: missionary, prone bone, overstimulation, cervix fucking, no protection, he's kinda mean here, creampie, slight somnophilia -> fucks you slowly while your passed out before you come back in, pet names 'bella' 'belladonna' + more? (WC :: 900+ )

Your body shuddered under him, causing your grip on his hands to weaken. Your hips were secured, and then his power hoisted you onto your knees as a bicep encircled your neck, lifting your head.

Your head was lifted from the futon with as you weakly propped yourself up on your elbows, the grip was not firm.

You arched your back heavily, able at last to sink further into his embrace. Dazai leaned over, drawing you near to him and initiating a messy, moist kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting out grunts as he absorbed your sounds of pleasure. Dazai moaned in satisfaction, praising you for taking him so deeply as he intensified the pressure on your back. He observed as your ass pressed against his lower stomach, gazing at your cunt with dark irises.

Watching as your strides pulled him in, creating a luscious white halo of desire around his .

"I'm bringing you immense pleasure, am I not?" Dazai moaned, his head tilting down, sweat forming on his forehead as he witnessed you unraveling and shaking from his cock, soft moans escaping your full lips.

Dazai moans, "I'm going to satisfy you completely."

"Please, I want to come," you plead, craving the release, your desperation evident as tears flow down your flushed face.

Your body tightens around him as he quickens his movements, effortlessly adjusting to the rhythm while your cries of pleasure grow louder.

"Oh, bella, bella, bella," he chants in your ear, followed by a deep groan that caused your insides to tighten around his.

You are unable to grasp any thoughts that flooded your mind.

"Come on, bella," he muttered and you convulsed around him as your climax engulfed you, your legs trembling under his increased pressure.

His didn't decrease, making you whimper from being overstimulated, but Dazai aided in it, his movements of the hips still pushing against mine, assisting me in enduring my climax as he pursued his own. Letting out a moan, he pressed his lips to yours once more while thrusting his hips forcefully against you, releasing his seed inside you which made you gasp into our kiss.

And as you sensed more of his cum filling your fertile womb, coating your inner walls in white, you could almost imagine your belly swelling from the sheer amount of his cum inside you already inside you.

"Osamu!" you gasp when he wasn't stopping, lifting your body, manhandling you to your back.

Dazai groans, "Quiet, bella."

Your hands were now pinned above your head with one of his hands, all you could do was tighten your legs around his waist and arch your back further into his advances. Although, you weren't quite sure how much you could hold out now. Your body is aching so badly, and you could feel a haze floating around your body as you become weaker.

Whimpers left your throat, your clit throbbing with a painful need for more as his pelvis made contact with your bud with every thrust. Your head was lolled back, at the pleasure coursing through you, his thrusts got rougher, so rough your breasts bounced with every hit.

Your walls continued to squeeze him tightly, your whimpers filling his ear and you indulged in the way he let out breathy groans into your neck. A gasp leaves your mouth and so did Dazai as you both came again, thrusting his cum deeper inside your walls.

"See, Belladonna," Dazai teases. "Doing so good."

Fingers digging into your waist tighter, his cock twitching restlessly inside your gummy walls. He keeps thrusting into you without stopping. You could feel the cum slipping from your pussy, and your whimpers grew louder, walls clenching around his length.

"Wait," you moan out, beginning to see white dots and black in your vision. "'Samu, wait, slow… sl-"

You clamped down onto his dick, squeezing him down tightly as you came again before you fell limp underneath him, he didn't seem to notice at that point. His head thrown back, thrusting into your cunt. Dazai's fringe was stuck to his forehead as he breathed heavily. A frown comes onto Dazai's face when he realises something, your squirming has stopped your your legs have fallen limp to the futon.

Looking down, a smirk comes onto his face, his thrusts becoming slower, but not ever leaving your cunt, watching your breath hitch with every thrust. “Oh?” he says softly, his voice curious, "My girls passed out on me."

“Now, now, belladonna,” he murmurs, his tone playfull, kissing your neck, leaving red hickies all over your collarbone. “This isn’t exactly the time to take a nap, is it?”

He taps your cheek lightly, his cock still thrusting in and out of your cum filled pussy. “Come on, wake up. You can’t leave me alone now, bella."

As you start to stir, your eyes slowly opening, Dazai’s smile brightens again. “Ah, there she is,” he says softly, leaning closer as his fingers gently brush your hair back from your face. “You know, belladonna, passing out during sex? Tsk, tsk, how dramatic.”

Your head feels heavy, and you blink up at him, disoriented. “Osamu…?”

"Shhh, bella," he coos. "'was taking good care of you while you fell asleep on me."

His thrusts speed up and you cumso hard, it feels like every system is shutting down. "'Samu!"

It’s as if that orgasm took his edge off because he takes his time now, dragging his mouth over your stomach, kissing the curves of your breasts. It wasn't too long before his own cum spills inside your pussy, a white ring forming around the base of his cock, his and your own cum mixed in.

"I think I should make you pass out more," Dazai smirks down at you.

‧₊˚.NAKAHARA CHUUYA :: mating press, somnophilia, overstimulation, passing out during sex, use of safe work (red), breeding, no protection, cumming multiple times -> not managing to say it before passing out, praise, degrading? + more? (WC :: 1.2k+ )

Your body folded into a tight mating press under Chuuya's body. And, god, you were sobbing, fat tears falling from your eyes from the pleasure and stimulation. Chuuya's cock was nuzzled perfectly up against your cervix, resting there and he kept all his cum up in your silky walls.

"Chuu," you mewl out through sobs. "It's too much."

It's been three rounds already, in the same position, and your poor body getting folded into that position. Your back and knees were beginning to ache, but you loved how his dick trusted so perfectly up into your cunt, you see stars every time you gush around his cock.

Chuuya lowers down to your trembling body, tingles were getting sent all throughout your body from the kiss, he was being so rough yet deep. The breath was stolen from your lungs every time he moaned into your moan, and you had the same effect on him.

"You're doing so good for me," he hums against your skin, inhaling your naturally sweet scent. "You're going to take me, sweetheart, going to take everything I give you.

"Feels s' full though, Chuuya," you sob. "Don't think I can anymore."

He presses his lips to yours, his tongue entangling with your own and you both moan into each other's mouths. Chuuya drags his length out, a breathless sigh emitting from your mouth into his own, relief crossing your features, thinking that the two of you were done.

But then, all of a sudden your head was thrown back in overstimulation, and a moan strung from your mouth as his cock slides right back into your cum filled walls.

"Sweetheart, please," Chuuya whispers into your ear, breath tickling your skin. "Continue f'r me?"

"'mmmm m'kay, be gentle," you huff. "So rough before, Chuu."

His movements became faster, his cock thrusting into the depths of your needy hole as strained moans and whines left your throat. Chuuya was panting in your ear and an occasional deep groan slipped past his lips, the sounds which made your cunt flutter tightly around his length.

Chuuya was filling you up to the hilt, his throbbing pink tip hitting that soft, gummy spot in my cunt that caused you to scream out in fulfilment. "I know, my love," He breathed, causing you to let out a moan and sigh, body shaking with pleasure. "Taking it real good, such a slut."

Your body tried to arch away from the pleasure, not being able to take the strong rolls of Chuuya's hips, but as you arched your back away, his thrusts only aimed deeper, harder into your G spot.

You sobbed out, tears filling your lash line. "B-but… Too much, Chuuya. Slow down, too much."

"Oh?" he smirked, his hips moving now at a faster pace, loving how your cunt squeezed his cock even though you wanted him to slow down, "It's alright, sweetheart, you can hold out," he coos.

Repetitive moans left your mouth while he pounded into your tight heat. You suddenly had the instinctive urge to press yourself into his length, but you couldn't, his weight was too heavy for you to move against him, and you were utterly hopeless as his thrusts became faster, and your knees and thighs ached being pushed so close to your chest and head.

"Please, I wanna come," you cry out mewling. "So big, you feel so big, Chuuya."

Chuuya hunched over you, pulling you closer to him and connected your mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss, forcing his tongue inside your mouth, grunting into you while he swallowed your moans.

"Good girl, taking me so deep," Chuuya groaned, pulling away from your mouth.

"Making you feel so good, aren't I?" Chuuya groaned his head tilted forward, sweat beading on his forehead as we watched your fall apart and tremble from his dick, broken moans slipping past your plump lips.

"Gonna fill you up," Chuuya groans. "You're taking me so deep, deserve to have my cum."

"'Wanna come, please," you beg, wanting to feel the release, desperate as the tears stream down your flushed cheeks. "Want it so bad."

You clench around his length as he increases his pace, instantly accommodating to the speed but your moans escalate. "Such a good girl," He leaned down and mumbled in my ear chased with a deep moan that stirred my insides clenching around his length.

"Want it so bad!" you whimper, unable to comprehend any thoughts that swelled into your head.

"C'mon darling," he growled and you spasmed around his length as your high washed over you, your legs shaking as his weight pressed down even more than it was.

His thrusts didn't slow causing you to whimper, but Chuuya didn't seem to understand your predicament, you were so fucked out, your mind running laps in stars and your vision blurring. You began to see stars in you peripheral vision. "Slow down! Chuu! Hurts!" you managed to whimper out but you could feel yourself slipping. "Re-…."

You head falls limp to the pillow, a scrunched but peacfull expression falling on your face, Chuuya was too pussy drunk to even notice for the first couple of seconds. He feels your hands slip from his hair, that's only when he notices, when he really looks at you. Chuuya's eyes widen in absolute confusion. Chuuya freezes mid-motion, his sharp blue eyes widening.

“Oi—!” he blurts out. He pulls back immediately, his hands already reaching for you, shaking your shoulders gently but firmly.

“Baby? What are you doing?” His voice is a little rough around the edges, panic creeping in, though he’s trying to keep it together.

For a second, he stares at you, as if not fully believing what just happened. Then, his concern takes over, and he shifts his position, sitting up straighter, cradling you in his arms. His fingers move to check your pulse.

“Dammit… come on, wake up,” he mutters under his breath, tapping your cheek lightly. “This is not the time to be passing out on me.”

Finally, you begin to stir, your eyelids fluttering as you slowly regain consciousness. “Thank God,” he breathes, his hand moving to stroke your hair as he hovers over you.

Your vision is blurry, and you blink up at him, still dazed. “Chuuya…?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he replies quickly. “You passed out, idiot.”

“I-I did…?” you ask, embarrassed, as you try to sit up, but Chuuya holds you down gently.

“Whoa, whoa, easy there,” he says. “Don’t try to get up too fast. You scared the hell outta me, y’know that?”

You nod weakly, still embarrassed. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

“You don’t need to apologize, but damn, don’t pull that on me again.” He pauses, his hands resting on either side of your face as he leans down, his forehead pressing lightly against yours. “Just… rest for a minute, alright? I’m not going anywhere.”

"I did try to say the safe word…. but i…."

"I'll make sure to be more focused next time, sweetheart, sorry, baby," he apologises.

‧₊˚.DOSTEVESKY FYODOR :: somnophilia, doggy?? bent over a desk??, rough sex, cockwarming, degredation, pet names (both him and you) 'myshka' 'fedya' "lyubov' 'shlyukha' + more? (WC :: 1.6k+ i got carried away hahaha)

God, you didn't know how long you've been sitting here for, your back flush against Fyodor's back with his cock snug inside of you. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Why did he more than usual all of a sudden?

Not only was the amount of paperwork bugging you, every time you move, it could be only a slight movement, you would instantly come on his cock. Fyodors cock was nudged so deep inside you, resting right against your cervix.

The only problem was, was that every time you did come, Fyodor's arm, which was tightly wrapped around your waist, got tighter, rendering your more from movement.

"Myshka," Fyodor hums, his mouth close to your ear and you pushed down a moan. "You are making it very hard for me to do my work."

Forcing down a mewl, you managed to reply, "S-Sorry, Fedya."

"You are? Well... you are making quite the mess as well," he continues, his hand moving lower and you hold your breath in anticipation.

You immediately cover your mouth with a shaky hand, your legs trembling further as Fyodors skilled fingers began to press down onto your sensitive nub.

"F-Fedya," you moan muffled again your palm.

"You're being loud as well," Fyodor mummers, almost in a disappointed tone. "Can't have that now, can we?"

It only took a few singular moments to which you were now getting bent over his desk, a loud gasp falling past your lips at the action. Documents go flying everywhere while Fyodors cold hand trails up the back of your thigh, hiking your skirt up higher to your hips, getting a better angle to see your cunt.

He hums in thought, seeing how that his pelvis and lower abdomen is soaked with your cum, now dripping down his balls.

"Fedya, please," you whimper.

"Please, what? Myshka?" he hums, wanting to hear your answer.

"Move, please, F-Fedya," you replied, all you wanted was for him to begin to move.

"Alright," Fyodor says simply. "I'm gonna do as I please, and your going to take all of it."

Your eyes widened and before you could register it, he pulled out, just so his tip was insight your seeping hole before slamming into your cunt.

"Fedya!" you moan, your hands were now pinned to your back, his singular hand holding your wrists while the other digs into the flesh on your wait, his length getting squeezed by every ridge within your soaked cunt. A moan left both of your mouths as Fyodor's length nudged the deepest spot within you.

"Look how you take me in," Fyodor grunts. "Such a good shlyukha."

You sigh in pleasure at the degradative praise, he knew that you loved to be worshipped in an abasement way, you savoured his words struck him so deeply. In a way he never wanted to call you anything else. But he didn't move, he wanted to relish in on how you desired to cause friction, desired to move against his touch, but couldn't.

Fyodor's cock, prodded so deep in your gummy walls that you whimpered in pleasure, but that didn't stop him from not moving. He was still snug inside. Hot and heavy kisses trail down from your ear down to the dip of your neck to shoulder and a breathless sigh escaped your parted lips before Fyodor rolled his hips into yours.

A moan slips out of your mouth, his thick length scraping all the sensitive parts of your warm insides. Fyodor's knees spread your legs apart so that any advances from you ensured that they would be shut down, so that you remained situated below him. As he expected, you couldn't move from his trapping embrace.

You couldn't, your legs were spread widen and you were pinned to the desk His movements became faster, his cock thrusting into the depths of my needy hole as strained moans and whines left your throat. Fyodor was panting in your ear and an occasional deep groan slipped past his lips, the sounds which made your cunt flutter tightly around his length.

Fyodor was filling me up to the hilt, his throbbing pink tip hitting that soft, gummy spot in my cunt that caused me to scream out in fulfilment.

"I'm listening, Myshka, don't be so loud," He breathed, causing you to let out a moan and sigh, body shaking with pleasure. "Found it haven't I?" Fyodor hummed.

Your body tried to arch away from the pleasure, not being able to take the strong rolls of Fyodor's hips, but as you arched your back away, his thrusts only aimed deeper, harder into your G spot.

"Y-yeah," you sobbed out, tears filling your lash line. "B-but... Too much, Fedya. Slow down, too much."

"Oh?" he smirked, his hips moving now at a faster pace, loving how your cunt squeezed his cock even though you wanted him to slow down, how contradicting he thought your words were, you were denying your body the release that you so desperately needed.

"Looks like you pussy is saying something else," Fyodor added. Repetitive moans left your mouth while he pounded into your tight heat. You suddenly had the instinctive urge to press yourself into his length, but you couldn't.

"Please, I wanna come," you cry out mewling. Your body trembled beneath him. Your back arched heavily, finally being able to sink more into him. Fyodor hunched over you, pulling you closer to him and connected your mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss, forcing his tongue inside your mouth, grunting into you while he swallowed your moans.

"Good Myshka, taking me so deep," Fyodor groaned, pulling away from your mouth and pushing this arch into your back deeper. He watched your ass ripping again his lower abdomen, watching your cunt with purple iris'.

Observing how your walks sucked him in, leaving a creamy white rind of arousal around the base of his cock Fyodor groaned his head tilted forward, sweat beading on his forehead as we watched your fall apart and tremble from his dick, broken moans slipping past your plump lips.

A satisfied smirk came onto Fyodor's face as he watched those tears that welled in your fluffy lash line spill down your smooth cheeks.

"Such a good little- shlyukha," Fyodor groans.

"'Wanna come, please," you beg, wanting to feel the release, desperate as the tears stream down your flushed cheeks. "Want it so bad."

You clench around his length as he increases his pace, instantly accommodating to the speed but your moans escalate.

"Such a good myshka," He leaned down and mumbled in my ear chased with a deep moan that stirred my insides clenching around his length.

"Want it so bad!" you whimper, unable to comprehend any thoughts that swelled into your head.

"Please, please, please.""

"Go ahead," he moans and you spasmed around his length as your high washed over you, your legs shaking as his weight pressed down even more than it was.

His thrusts didn't slow causing you to whimper in overstimulation, only he doesn't stop. It was too much, his balls slapping relentlessly agasint yoru clit and his cock hitting your soft spot every singlt time, it's too much.

You began to see black, white and yellow spots dancing in my vision as he refused to slow down, chasing his own high but before you. could even register, you were out, gone, asleep, knocked out, passed out.

Fyodor immediately noticed, because eyour loud racket of moans had completely ceased and a faint frown touches his lips, though no panic flashes across his face. Fyodor tilts his head as he removes himself from your cunt, more interested know in you.

“Hmm...” he murmurs under his breath, his long fingers gently brushing against your neck, checking your pulse. He lingers there for a second, his touch cool against your skin, you never fail to surprise him in the most interesting situations.

“Fainting, are we? How curious,” he whispers softly to himself. He’s not hurried, he leans down slowly, his breath ghosting over your ear. “Wake up, my dear,” he commands in that smooth, hypnotic tone, his fingers now softly stroking your cheek. Slowly, you start to stir, your eyelids fluttering open.

The disorientation hits you first, but before you can sit up, Fyodor’s hand presses lightly on your shoulder, keeping you in place.

“Easy now,” he says in that low, velvety voice of his.

“What… what happened?” you ask, your mind still fuzzy. He smirks, just slightly.

“You fainted,” he explains. “The intensity of the moment must have been too much for you.” Your cheeks burn with embarrassment, and you try to move, but Fyodor’s hand remains firm on your shoulder, preventing you from getting up too quickly.

“I-I’m fine now,” you stammer, trying to shake off the disorientation,

“Are you?” he asks. There’s something in his gaze—something almost predatory—as he watches you, but his expression remains calm, composed.

He brushes a strand of hair from your face, his fingers cool against your skin. “Rest for a moment,” he says softly, his words carrying an air of command that you instinctively obey. “Your body clearly needs time to recover. We wouldn’t want a repeat of this, now would we?”

You bite your lip. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to—”

“No need to apologize,” Fyodor interrupts smoothly, his smile deepening. “It’s... fascinating to witness your vulnerability like this. But don’t worry,” he adds, leaning in close, his lips brushing your ear as he whispers, “I’ll keep you comfortable for now, Myska, before I take you again."

‧₊˚.NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI :: slight cockwarming, cervix fucking, use of {y/n} cowgirl. side fucking (idk what it's called, it'll come to me lmao), missionary, passing out, needy Atsushi, inexperienced Atsushi, begging, him being rlly worried, apologieses sm + more? (WC :: ~800+ )

Atsushi is a whimpering mess under you, he didn't know what to do as you bounced on him, his cock was pulsing inside your walls while his hands pawed and gripped tightly into your thigh and hip. His cock was constantly hitting that sweet spot inside you, causing you to moan out every single time his dick hit your cervix, fuck, your legs hurt so bad but you really want to come.

Whimpers escape Atsushi's lips effortlessly, legs trembling as your ass comes into contact with his body, hitting his balls which made him throw his head back in ecstasy.

Your thighs are burning, you let out a strained moan slips past your lips. "{Y/n}," he whimpers out in broken syllables, he was so fucked out, but he still looked so effortlessly pretty, his white choppy hair splays out on the pillow, purple and yellow eyes screwed shut in pleasure.

"I know, baby," you moan out, knees about to buckle, you so wanted to keep on going but they gave out, knees hitting the futon, his cock fully nudged into your dripping cunt.

Atsushi's grip tightens on your hips at the sudden movement, the coil in his stomach tightening so much he just wanted to cum so badly but you had stopped moving. "Please," Atsushi stutters out through tight lips, he was trying to move your hips but your thighs were aching too much.

"Gimme a sec," you reply breathlessly.

"Baby, no I can't wait," he whimpers.

He opens his eyes and was met with the most ethereal sight of you, your head was thrown back as your chest was heaving in air, catching your breath, your breasts pushed together as your hands were on his lower abdomen.

And... God... the mix of his precum... your arousal on his pelvis made the coil tighten in his abdomen again, seeing the bulge of were his cock is in you soft, tight cunt. You lift your hips once more about to grind down on to his dick, but Atsushi has other plans.

His eyes were wide with pleasure as he sat up and pushed you down, making sure his cock was still snug in your tight heat. A surprised gasp leaves your mouth and before you could say any thing, before you knew it, you were on your side with Atsushi holding one of your legs, cock going deeper into your spongey walls.

Then, his mouth was on yours, tongues tangling with each other clumsily while Atsushi's hips rutt into your own. Your moans getting swallowed up by his mouth, you were on the edge, every time Atsushi's cock pounds into your soft cunt, it hits your sweet spot and his pelvis grazed your clit every single thrust.

"So good, baby, you're doing so well for me," you praised, stars were blurring your vision and tears were spilling past your lash line while he began to move faster, the coil in your tummy was so tight, you need to cum so bad but it's too much.

"Atsushi," you sob. "Wa-Wait... S-Slow down!"

Atsushi couldn't hear you, all he could hear were your moans, the sound of the lewd squelching coming from the contact between your pretty cunt on his cock. He began to thrust harder and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he then starts sucking and biting on your neck.

"Please , let me cum," Atsushi whimpers against your neck. "I've been so good, please."

"Baby, you can but please, slow..." your head and vision began to become blurry and those were the last words that spilled from your mouth when you fall limp against the futon.

Atsushi immediately noticed that your tight grip on his hair and arm had loosened. "Baby?" he called out, his eyes widened when he notices your peaceful expression and how you looked like you were asleep. But he frowned and nibbled on his lip, you weren't asleep, you passed out he realised.

He gently slipped hic cock out from you cunt and worriedly scanned his eyes over your body before gently tapping your cheek. "Baby," he whispers.

Groggily, you open your eyes and see Atsushi, a breif flicker of confusion crossed your face before you realised what happened.

"You fell asleep, baby, or passed out is the better way to say it..." Atsushi confirmed.

A soft teasing smile comes onto your lips, "That just mean your too good at this, baby." Looking down briefly, you see that he's still painfully hard. "You want me to help," you coo pecking his cheek.

Atsushi's cheeks flare red. "You don't have too! I know you probably would be tired."

"You don't need to worry, baby," you reply teasingly, kissing his lips, your tongue intertwining with his and in between breaths you say. "I know you need my help, my pretty boy."

Your hand squeezes the base of his dick and he gasps into the kiss, then you make sure he will finish all nicely.

‧₊˚.EDOGAWA RANPO :: oral -> female receiving, cunnilingus, overstimulation, fingerwarming??? (if thats a thing lmao), fingering, passing out, getting tapped back in, praise, begging, hair pulling + more? (WC :: 1.2k+)

Stretched down beneath Ranpo, with your head thrown back against the soft pillow beneath your head, your legs slung over his shoulders. Additionally, a little pillow was placed beneath your hips, so if Ranpo felt like eating your cunt, he could take as much time as he liked. After a demanding day of bothersome cases, he would extract every orgasm from you with his tongue and fingers. You are his favourite sweet after all.

"Ranpo," you whimper out as his nose bumps against your clit, tongue lapping at your soaked folds.

"Mmmmm," he hums against your clit as he moved his mouth from your entrance, the vibrations causing you to gasp out in pleasure.

You don't know how long you have been here for, but you do know that Ranpo had drawn out three orgasms from you, an hour you thought, he had you here for an our. As much as Ranpo loved to eat you out and indulge in your essence, he loved to edge you, so you'd be squirming under him.

Arching your back, your cunt only pressed further into Ranpo's face, you just wanted to have your release, you body was aching, aching so much. You could see stars every time he curls his fingers into your sweet spot, but he wasn't doing that right now, his fingers were just resting inside your tight heat.

"Ranpo," you whine subtly, you just wanted him to hurry up, but he was taking so long

Every stripe of his tongue on your clit made your body shudder, so much so that you felt as if you were doing to pass out. Although, you thought that if he would go any faster, you would in fact pass out, so you were in a bit of a predicament. Going slow, just made you exhausted and any faster you would pass out.

"You'll be alright," Ranpo reassures, of course he'd know that you'd be alright, he is the smartest, isn't he?

"I don't… don't think I will," you moan.

"Yeah you will."

Gosh, he was so hard to talk back to.

A whimper leaves your mouth when he places a kiss on your clit and your thighs clench around his head. You attempt to arch away from the overwhelming sensation but Ranpo grip keeps you in place.

"Ranpo," you moan out. "Feels so good, making me feel so good."

He loves praise and you love giving it to him.

You could feel Ranpo smirk against your drenched folds. "C'mon, you gotta say more than that, sweety," he urges.

Once more, Ranpo's nose brushes up against your delicate clit, and your grip on his hair tightened. A satisfied sigh seeps through him into your folds as a mewl from your full lips. As he sucked your clit between his lips and flicked your sensitive bud with his tongue, Ranpo was eagerly moving his head in motion to get a full dive into your cunt.

You whimpered before answering, trying to gather your scattered thoughts, "Mmmmm~ you're the only one who can do this to me, Ranpo, you know me so well, making me-- feel s' good," you slur, drunk on pleasure.

His tongue climbs up from your wet hole to your clit while you let out a moan. Your thighs tighten around his head as a result of his advances, and as you grind down on his face, a moan echoes through your clit.

Your lips were filled with chants of his name, and he relished every moment of it. Ranpo's two fingers inside your cunt began to move once more, you eyes widened, your back further arched into his face, thighs clenching tighter around your head.

"Ranpo, f-feels s' good," you moan, tears welling in your lash line, he was making you feel so good.

His finger pressed up against that soft spot inside your walls. Ranpo was slow with his pace as he curled his fingers every time he entered your cunt, along with sucking and licking at your puffy, sensitive clit.

"See taking it so well," Ranpo moans against you, refusing to rut his hips into the futon, this was your pleasure, not his own.

A moan arouses from you and your hips grind themselves onto his face. He let you for once have some sort of control over the situation, and he decided that if you came quicker he'll let you do it more often. "That's it," he praised.

You cry his name through broken letters, and he moves more quickly and needily, and the one hold he had on your leg tightens. Your fingers encircled his locks to prevent him from moving and force him to breathe more deeply into your folds as your tummy coil tightened.

The grunts just served to tip you over the brink, and when he pressed his tongue firmly against your clit, you let out a low-pitched scream. Your stomach coil parted, drenching his face in liquid.

With your soaked pussy flowing out from your swollen folds, he carefully withdrew his fingers. You softly mewls in overstimulation and plants a kiss on your clit before going right back in, but faster and your thighs clamp shut.

"Ranpo!" you moan, chest heaving. "Too much, sensitive, wait!"

"Just one more," Ranpo moans, hips rutting into harder into the futon, he too wanted to cum, you looked so pretty here and tasted so divine, he just needed to.

You really couldn't do it anymore, well you wanted too but you could see the black dots and stars covering your vision. You believed you could endure. But you couldn't as you fell limp under the detective. Your thighs loosened significantly and the strong grip you had on Ranpo's hair went slack, and your back fell flat to the covers.

Ranpo immediately notices and pauses, lifting his head from in between your thighs and seeing your peaceful face. "Huh?" he mutters, blinking in disbelief. "Really? “This isn’t some trick, is it?”

He pocks your cheek and watches your head loll to the side and a murmur leaving your lips. "She passed out. That wasn't something I saw coming." Ranpo said in disbelief. "Hey, wake up,” Ranpo adds.

You open you eyes, disoriented and groggy, you could feel Ranpo hovering over you and you squint your eyes slightly, as you were confused at what he was doing. His face was closer than usual his green eyes staring into yours, almost as if he was making sure you were okay. (it was obvious he wasn't about to give you a kiss so you were confused at what this man was doin).

"Finally," he sighed in relief. "I thought you were going to sleep through the whole thing."

You blinked, confused. "W-What happened?" you murmured, trying to sit up, but Ranpo gently pushed you back down.

"Hold on, don’t move too fast," he said, his tone soft. He sat back slightly on the futon, watching you closely, he didn't want you to faint agasin. “You passed out.”

"I… I did?" you say in shock

Ranpo nodded. “Yep. One minute you were all into it, and then you were asleep. Didn't see that one coming. You really know how to keep things interesting," he added.

You blushed, embarrassed and unsure of how to respond, but before you could say anything, Ranpo continued. “Don’t worry, though. I checked everything—you’re fine. Probably just overdid it a little.”

"Next time, maybe try not to pass out on me, okay?" he teased, but as he reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face. “Take it easy for a bit. I’ve got you. You can go to sleep now, I've cleaned you up, maybe go pee though."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | bsd m.list

taglist :: @vasarii

@stunies i know you wanted windbreaker but you can always try out this 😔 (even though u don't know none of the characters... thats okay though)

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entitled-fangirl · 3 days

Text

I can't promise that.

Jace Velaryon x wife!reader

Summary: Jace returns from the Wall, mourning the death of his brother. The reader comforts him in the dead of night.

Warnings: talks of death, mourning, making out, talks of sex, just sad Jace angst

A/n: If I had a nickel for every time I made a Jace fic, and it was an angst, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice. I need happy Jace prompts 😭

Masterlist

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Jace's back was to her, but even from there, it was clear something was wrong.

She stepped into the dark beside him and set the candle on the sturdy railing. "My love?"

He finally turned to face her. His eyes were puffy, cheeks red, and hot tears were falling down his face.

She cooed, "Oh, Jace." She rushed to him and took his face in her hands.

His hands gripped her waist, afraid she'd disappear if he let go. She was almost worried there would be bruises.

Her stomach dropped at the sound of his light sobs. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she wiped his tears. "I'm so sorry."

"I'll kill him," he muttered through the sniffles.

"Jace, I know you're upset-"

"-Do you expect me to sit here and allow him to get away with this?" He pulled away from her as pure anger came through his voice. "He's killed my brother. He's killed the son of the Queen, the heir to Driftmark!" He began to pace back and forth, the tears still falling. "I vow to kill Aemond Targaryen."

"Don't vow things while you are upset."

"I'm not upset! I'm enraged, wife!" He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to sigh out his frustration. "And you? You seem just fine!"

She let out a breath and gripped the railing. She forced her voice to stay calm. "Jace. You must understand that I've had more time to process this. I am just as horrified as you, I promise."

Jace's breath became shaky as he tried to control his anger. His jaw clenched harshly. He refused to speak, knowing that doing so would only worsen things.

"I understand your grief, Jace, but you cannot let it cloud your judgment. To want revenge is to start the war your mother is trying to avoid."

"They began it," he sobbed. "If we do nothing then my brother died in vain! Does that mean nothing to you?"

Her eyes softened. "My love…"

"I cannot bear this."

She reached out and caressed his cheek again. "This will pass. You must not let the loss of Luke toil over the brothers you still have left."

He leaned into her palm as he considered her words.

Finally, he collected himself, pulling away and wiping at his face harshly. "Forgive me. For losing my temper with you."

Her brows furrowed at the force he wiped his face with. "It's quite reasonable to be upset. I just don't want you to do something you will regret."

When he continued to sniffle and wipe at his face, she pulled his hands away. "Perhaps we should take this inside?" She offered.

He nodded and took her hand, grabbing the candle with the other and pulling her inside. Seated on the foot of the bed, he watched her wet a cloth from the tub where she had bathed only hours before.

She stood between his legs and pulled his face up, beginning to gently wipe the cloth over his puffy cheeks, cleaning them of his tears.

He only stared at her, his eyes roaming over her beautiful face studying him. "Promise me something?"

She hummed lightly in question.

"You'll not fight this war."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he beat her to it. "I could not bear to be on that bannister again in the night crying over you. I…" he voice faltered. "I cannot take another loss. Not you."

"I intend to do what the queen needs, Jace," she answered softly.

"What about what your future king needs?" He countered desperately as he gripped her wrist.

Her eyes met his. She was beginning to break down. "You know I can't…"

"Please."

She turned her head away from him, a shaky breath leaving her lips.

"I've always said I'd do anything for you. And you know I will," Jace pushed. His eyes watered again with fresh tears and his voice shook, "Can you not do so for me?"

She opened her mouth and closed it again, finding no words that would suffice. She began to gently wipe at his face again, dragging it down his neck.

"Please, speak," he begged.

She fought the lump in her throat. "You know what I'll say."

He sniffled and nodded, "Then make me a different promise?"

"If I can."

He bit the inside of his cheek. "That if you must fight in this war, it will be by my side."

She smiled, and a small laugh of relief came from her. "That's the most foolish thing you've asked of me, husband. You know that answer as well."

The tension left his shoulders and he flashed that grin that she loves so much. "I suppose it was. Still," he grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him, "I'd like to hear you say it aloud."

She looked down at him, abandoning the cloth and cradling his head in her hands as she spoke, "Jacaerys Velayron, whether I become your queen or I die at the hands of a usurper, I am yours, body and soul, and I will fight for you and with you until my fate is decided."

His thumb rubbed a soothing pattern on her hip bone. "I am yours until my body is buried in the ground with my ancestors. And even beyond then." He smirked, "And there will forever be one woman destined to be mine, I know that quite well. So I either have you as my queen, or we die together as one."

She leaned down and kissed him deeply.

He immediately groaned into her mouth and stood up, his hands pulling and tugging at her waist and lower back as if he could pull her closer.

As if everything else they could've said is shown through their actions.

His hands finally reached up her back to pull at the laces of her dress. His fingers tugged gently.

"J…Jace," she panted as their lips barely parted. "Jace…"

His lips moved down her jaw in fervent kisses, nipping and sucking lightly.

"St…" She gasped when he reached a particularly sensitive spot on her collarbone. Her hands moved to his hair and pulled him away, "Jace, stop."

The word "stop" pulled him from his trance, and he immediately moved away from her. His eyes were wide in worry, "What's wrong?"

"Not tonight," she reasoned. "We shouldn't."

"Why?" He asked softly.

"We're both upset. We may make a mistake if we're not careful."

He hummed, "Loving you is no mistake."

"Jace…"

"I understand," he nodded, keeping disappointment from coming over his face. "Perhaps when our judgment returns?"

She nodded and gazed down at his lips. "I'd like that."

He grinned. "Alright." He stepped closer to her again. "Let us get to bed again."

She intwined her fingers with his and pulled him around the bed, the two settling in as they always do.

"I miss you greatly, you know," she whispered against his neck as they held each other close. "Dragonstone was rather lonesome without a certain curly-haired prince to keep it company."

"The Wall was even colder than I thought it would be. And I saw snow. Felt it beneath my feet as it chilled me to the bone. And all the while, I thought of you."

She nuzzled her nose to his jaw, making shivers run down his spine.

She sighed, "We'll make it, won't we? Through this war?"

"I shall pray so to any god that will listen."

She laughed, "I don't believe that's how it works." Her lips brushed up to his jaw.

A bright teasing smile came over him, "I have Targaryen blood, my love. Perhaps we are the gods."

"You surely are mine."

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#fanfiction #game of thrones x reader #house of the dragon fanfiction #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones x y/n #game of thrones imagine #jace velaryon imagine #jace velaryon x reader #jace velaryon #jacaerys targaryen #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys x reader #house of the dragon fanfic #jacaerys x you #house of the dragon imagine

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always-just-red · 24 hours

Text

A/N: So I threatened a while back to write MC arresting Sylus since he literally won’t shut up about it. Thought this would be a silly fic but it ended up an angst-driven exploration of how his time with MC is probably finite and ill-fated?? Anyway Sylus is too soft for this, I’m sorryyyy (Sy I love you! I would never do this to you! ‘Didn’t it come from your imagination, though?’ Ssshhhh you don’t know what you’re saying!! 🥰)

To Remain Silent

Sylus x Reader 🩸

Summary: Sylus has told you to arrest him one too many times...

Genre: Emotional rollercoaster honestly? Some angst, some comfort (and a lil spice for flavour)

Warnings/Additional tags: gn!reader, vaguely established relationship, gets a little steamy at the end (mostly kissing tbh), artistic licence applied liberally since this would be WAY too risky for MC to actually attempt 😭😭

| Word count: 2.7k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Sylus knows this isn’t real.

You watch him through the glass of his cell, and the subtle tint to it lets you know that he can’t watch you back. He’s sat on the single bench inside, leaning against the far wall, his long legs stretched out before him. His hands are cuffed— tucked away behind his back— but he still looks comfortable. More than comfortable: at ease. At home. Bored.

“You think I can’t feel those pretty little eyes of yours on me?” he mutters, head back, eyes closed. “I’m at your mercy, kitten. Are you really only going to look?”

You tap a button on the glass. “You should start taking this seriously.”

He smiles at the sound of your voice, but his eyes don’t open; there’s still nothing to see. “I’m taking it very seriously, sweetie.”

“I don’t think you are.”

The smile turns even more smug: a confession, all by itself. He sits up and leans forward, like someone who’s found a change of conversation to be interesting. His eyes open— managing to find you, somehow, and— can he see you? No. It’s an educated guess, he’s just selling it with confidence.

Leisurely, he rises from his seat and saunters over to the glass. “Let me see you,” he orders, then bargains: “Please? This is so very—” he toes the division— “one-sided.”

You can’t look him in the eyes, can you? This is hard enough without the windows to your soul baring your heart and your mind to him, like they always do. You should have worn those sunglasses he bought you for that undercover assignment. This is what they’re for, right? Hiding.

With a circular swipe of your finger, the glass before you clears and Sylus meets your gaze.

“Hi,” he teases.

You fold your arms across your chest. “Hey.”

“This is quite some effort you’ve gone to, kitten. And all for me, no less.”

“What effort?” you dismiss plainly. “You practically slapped those handcuffs on yourself.”

It’s not an exaggeration: from the cuffs to the ride here, not a single stage of his arrest has been resisted. The closest he’s gotten to a lack of cooperation was when you’d first restrained and dragged him from his study, where he’d been inclined to point out that the bedroom was the other way.

“Well, I didn’t want to cause a fuss,” he smirks. One of his hands is brought forward, and his handcuffs now hang uselessly from a finger. “Tell me,” he says, letting them swing as he holds your gaze, “what am I to expect now I’ve been so masterfully captured?”

You glance at the restraints, unmoved. “That isn’t for me to decide.”

A door behind you slides open, and— right on time— an altogether more impressive presence joins you before the cell. Sylus glances her up and down as the click of her heeled boots come to a stop; he has never met your captain, but he knows her face.

“You really cashed in all your favours, didn’t you, sweetie?” he observes. He turns to address the woman beside you: “We haven’t been introduced. I’m—”

“I know who you are,” Jenna interrupts, her tone as incorruptible as yours.

Sylus’s arm lifts, resting on the glass above you so he can tower over you, despite the partition. “Is that right?” he purrs absent-mindedly, dropping his head so he can speak into your ear. “Sweetie… I thought you could keep a secret.”

He’s goading you into your usual game, but the stakes don’t interest you. “You were wrong.”

You’re at your own table, dealing your own cards. Does he want to play? You think he might. His lips are curving at the delicious prospect of a challenge. You’ve given him a taste of it. He wants more.

Jenna is studying her clipboard, acting oblivious. She senses the impasse. Asks Sylus: “Do you know why you’re here?”

He huffs impatiently. “Enlighten me.”

“Sylus,” you scold.

Red eyes widen a fraction.

You see it.

Good.

…

Sylus thinks this might be real.

You said his name. His real name: the one with sharp, bloody strings attached. The one on all the posters. The one in your precious Association’s archives, linked to stacks of files and crime scene photos, most of which he isn’t even responsible for.

Sylus. You said: Sylus.

It was worthy of a grand reveal— the sort of plot twist that delivered the suspense of so many thrillers— but here you are, speaking it like it’s nothing. Not a slip of the tongue; not a mistake. And it’s different here. He’s not your Sylus. He’s theirs.

Their murderer. Their monster. Their convenient little scapegoat for everything dark and unholy.

The captain is reading him a list, reeling off every crime— each alleged sin. As if he needs a reminder. As if all the time in the world could ever let him forget. “Needless to say, Mr Sylus,” she summarises, “due to the nature of these crimes, you may prove exempt from our standard procedures. A case like this is… unprecedented. Onychinus has much to answer for. You have much to answer for.”

Sylus hasn’t really been listening; it’s all senseless bureaucracy. “You have the wrong man,” he says, because whatever you’re doing— whatever stunt this is— a confession is sure to derail it. You know that, don’t you? You must be counting on it: holding that guilty breath of yours and hoping he’s smart enough to not be Sylus.

You don’t look worried in the slightest. You must have an awful lot of faith in him.

He studies you, waiting for a small, deliberate smile or a moment of weakness. Give him a sign, don’t give him a sign— it doesn’t matter; he’ll find one. His intentions must be clearer than yours, because you step up to the glass to face him.

Do it, your silence says, even though the rest of you is illegible. You want to look? Look.

His eye could light like a crimson fire— could burn the truth out of you— but it won’t. It’s a promise he made what feels like a lifetime ago, not long after you’d met: Your thoughts and desires are yours to give, not his to take.

Even here. Even now. He’s a man of his word, after all.

Impressed? You smile faintly, but there’s no warmth to it. “Captain,” you speak, your eyes not leaving his, “can you give us a minute? Please?”

“Of course,” the woman answers with a nod.

Sylus does not see her go. He hears it: the retreating rhythm of her shoes. He feels it: it’s just the two of you, alone again. Well, the two of you and that ‘hidden’ camera in the far corner of the room. “Whatever game this is,” he grins good-naturedly, his teeth gritted, “it stops. Now.”

“It’s not a game, Sylus. I told you to take this seriously.”

“What are you doing?” he snaps, and that good-natured grin didn’t last very long.

Your hands land on your hips. “My job.” When he scoffs, you continue: “Did you really think this would end any other way? After everything you’ve done?”

He laughs and it’s deeply sardonic. He’s no saint— to try to convince you he was would be a crime worthy of punishments far worse than this. But you know him. You know the line and what stands on each side of it: everything he’s done, yes, and everything he’s been made to take the fall for.

You wouldn’t do this to him. Would you? “You want to play pretend? Fine,” he hisses. He wants to wrap his Evol around that godforsaken camera and annihilate it. “You caught the big, bad boss of Onychinus— congratulations, sweetie. Sure. Let’s say that’s who I am. A man like that has power, right? So what’s to keep him— me— from escaping? Right now?”

“You’re not going to leave, Sylus. Wanna know why?”

He’s sure you’re going to tell him, and you do:

“Because you’re all talk. All smoke and mirrors. You want to go? Go. But there’s not a single person in this building who wouldn’t give their life to bring you back. Someone will catch up to you eventually, and what then?”

“I’ll have a lot of fun, I imagine.”

“You’ll do nothing,” you correct. “Because those people out there? They’re my friends. My family. You hurt them? You hurt me. Make all the threats you want, Sylus— we both know the truth.”

He towers over you, still, but it’s hard not to shrink at your next words:

“You don’t have it in you.”

Your eyes are sharp: whetted with resentment. Sylus is your reflection— your worthy opponent, always— but he just can’t look at you like that.

There’s a quiet hiss as you slide a finger over the cell’s control panel. White, neon light carves through the glass partition: two vertical lines that bleed upwards, either side of him, before bending to meet each-other. The glass between them shimmers, then fades.

Sylus stands on the precipice of the doorway, cool air crawling past him. He stares up at the camera, then down at you. Your arms have folded again as you watch him— a narrative of apathy.

“How about it, Sylus?” you ask bitterly. “Still think you can outrun fate?”

“No.” Not since it started wearing your face. Fate is you, putting a bullet in his heart, and him, waking up so you can do it over and over again. Maybe this is real. Maybe it isn’t. “What do you want from me?” he entreats softly, because you’ll get it— either way.

“Isn’t it obvious?” you sneer, and your hand shoots out, grasping a fistful of his shirt. You use it to drag him out of the cell, closer, lower, so that his face is mere inches from yours.

“No,” he repeats. “Say it.”

Your eyes burn like pyres: so dangerous, so beautiful, so suited to being the death of him. “I want you—” you begin, as they flit briefly to his lips— “to tell me…”

“What?”

“How you cheat at kitty cards.”

Oh. Oh.

You’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?

Sure enough, you drop his shirt and burst into laughter— irrepressibly you again. The fire in your eyes has simmered down into something warm, safe, and comfortable, and— gods— you’re even crying. You’re doubled over, holding your stomach as though it hurts. You lift a hand to wipe your wet cheek. “Your face,” you get out between gasps, “oh, your face!”

Yours is not the only laughter, but it’s the only laughter Sylus hears.

“We so got you, Skye!” Tara’s vaguely familiar voice resounds from an intercom.

There’s some confusing static with it— more tittering voices— and Sylus suspects he’s found himself the star of your colleagues’ after-work entertainment. He puts his hands on his hips as he looks up at the camera. “Is the whole office—”

“Yeah,” you manage, wiping away another tear. “Figured it would be good for morale. Good practice, too.”

“Practice?”

“Mmhmm,” you confirm with a hum. You’ve apparently gotten a handle on the hilarity of the situation, because you approach him with something close to composure. Meditatively, you smooth down the fabric of his shirt. Straighten his collar. “For when we catch the real Sylus one day.”

He captures your wrists; that’s a lot of tenderness for someone who just tried to give him a heart attack. Maybe he’s a little too rough, because you pout at him in a way that makes him instantly soften his grip.

“You ok, Skye?” you enquire with an ironic smile and an adorable tilt of your head.

His thumbs are feathering over your pulse points, and slowly, he leans in to deliver a message, just for you: “If I say no, will you make it up to me?”

…

Sylus knows this is real.

His mouth is on yours and it’s relentless, desperate; you made him wait for it. How long has he been wanting to trap you against the nearest wall, just like this, so he can kiss you until he forgets just how cold you can be?

He’s been very patient. He didn’t roll his eyes or utter a word of complaint when you’d dragged him to join your colleagues for dinner. It was your victory party, your ‘I made you look like an idiot’ party, but he was his usual, charming self, and your friends all adored him for it. They’d spun him the tale of his ‘arrest’— the planning, the preparation, and your lightbulb moment:

“Hey, guys, have you ever thought about how Skye kinda looks like Sylus?”

Only he could understand how wickedly clever it was. His eyes had sought yours as he listened, lazy, content, and so obviously biding his time. You’d smiled at him. He’d smiled back.

And he’d stayed smiling, even after the party was over and you’d had to walk a slightly-tipsy Tara home. She’d refused a taxi, insisted Sylus escort her— oh, and you could come, too! He’d lent her his arm: humoured every squeeze and chuckled at each remark about the size of it. You’d had to swat her away, in the end.

“I’m just teasing, y’know?” she’d giggled as the three of you arrived at her front door. “Skye knows I’m just teasing. You’re such a sweetheart, Skye. Imagine! You— the leader of Onychinus!”

She’d laughed, much too loud for such a quiet street, and with a less-than-subtle wink, left the two of you alone. Which is how you’d ended up here, in an alley around the back of her building, because it was Sylus’s turn to drag you somewhere.

His attentions have moved lower; there’s a subtle clink as his fingers find the clasp of your shirt collar and he peels it back, exposing your neck. His lips leave yours, trailing down, down— past the line of your jaw and over the soft, vulnerable column of your throat. You gasp as he brushes over a sensitive spot, and you could swear you feel him smile.

He’s always been passionate, but this is a different fire, fuelled by something you can’t ignore, no matter how much you want to:

Relief.

“Sy,” you murmur breathlessly, your hand in his hair, tugging gently. “Sy, stop.”

“Mmm?” he acquiesces, voice sinfully low as the cold evening air takes his place kissing your neck. His eyes shine like blood spilt in the dead of night— lingering on you. He looks drunk.

You lift a hand to cup his face and run your thumb over his cheek. “I’ll never let anything happen to you, Sylus. You know that, right?”

Those dark eyes find clarity with your words, full of apprehension for just how naive you can be. The future will turn on you just as quickly as a wild animal someone boasts about having tamed, and aren’t you foolish, thinking you can control something like that?

Besides, that’s his job.

“I know,” he says like he’s supposed to— ever the martyr, following the script. He goes to nuzzle into you again, but your hand is still tight in his hair and he groans as you use it to pull him back.

“I mean it,” you reassert, forcing him to look at you. You don’t care that it’s ridiculous. You don’t care that fate is so hot on your heels that you have to keep running. You’re tired. He’s even more tired.

Isn’t it nice to stop and catch your breath?

Pretend you have time: His gaze is full of faith and oh, the world is going to enjoy punishing the two of you. “I know,” he insists, because this is the second time you’ve fooled him tonight. You feel his hand on your face and you let him kiss you— again, then again— so achingly slow, so arrogant.

The world can wait; he wants to punish you first.

“Do you really want to know—” he distracts as he finds that sensitive spot on your neck again— “how I cheat at kitty cards?”

The pad of his finger is chasing the path of his mouth; it tickles. You whine: “Tell me later, Sy.”

“Ok,” he breathes against you.

Later. There’ll be a later.

Won’t there?

#🖋rach is actually writing #sylus x reader #sylus #love and deepspace #lads sylus #lnds sylus #l&ds sylus #qin che #sylus x mc #sylus x you #lads x reader #lads #lnds #l&ds

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cottonlemonade · 2 days

Text

Being MSBY’s Single Dad

word count: 1055 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.

pairing: Meian x chubby!Reader (feat. Sakusa)

genre: fluff

warnings: spoilers

Sakusa had been in a foul mood for some time now but today it reached its pinnacle.

Two weeks ago he had twisted his ankle during training and since he had quite the history of downplaying any injuries and then suffering their consequences, Meian decided to accompany him on his latest checkup, very much ignoring Sakusa’s protests. The captain leaned against a filing cabinet, arms crossed and a small smile on his face as he watched you bend and knead Sakusa‘s foot with gentle proficiency. The younger man grimaced barely noticeably when you pressed your palm flat against his sole, but upon his wince let up the pressure immediately.

“You‘ll sit this next one out.“, you said firmly, writing something in his chart.

“It‘s not that bad. I can play no problem. I just have to warm up.“

“Ah, you heard what she said. Doctor‘s orders.“

“She isn‘t even a doctor.“, Sakusa mumbled under his breath.

“Rude!“, Meian scolded.

“True though.“, both you and Sakusa replied in unison and the captain grinned when you added pointedly, “However, as your lowly physiotherapist I will give you some more stretches to do. It‘s better than last time but give yourself another week and you‘ll be as good as new.“

You took a seat at your desk, writing down a short list of daily exercises, adding quick sketches for demonstration. As you did, Meian detached himself from the cabinet and walked over to Sakusa to help him back into his shoe, which he reluctantly allowed.

“And while you‘re at it, be nicer to the others.“

“You still haven‘t made up?“, you turned around and looked at Sakusa incredulously.

“If it wasn‘t for these idiots this never would have happened.“, he noted sharply.

“True, but they did apologize.“, Meian reminded him, “Multiple times.“ You hid your chuckle at his tone, very reminiscent of a dad trying to explain to his son the concept of forgiveness.

“They‘re idiots. They deserve to stew.“

“Wait, you had such a colorful way to describe them when you came in last time.“, you tapped your chin with your pen in thought, trying to remember, “I believe you called them “a bunch of orange cats whose brains are powered by a singular, already dim lightbulb“, am I right?“

Meian hid his snort in the palm of his hand, then rolled his shoulders and tied the shoelace as he cleared his throat.

“Please don‘t say that in front of Bokuto. His hair hasn‘t been the same since the accident.“

Sakusa clicked his tongue in annoyance and let Meian help him off the exam table.

“Here.“, you stood up and handed him two notes, “This is for some new painkillers, take them when needed but no more than three a day and these are the new exercises. Do them every morning and every night before bed and if it‘s not better in 3 to 5 days come see me again. Aaaand-“ You opened a desk drawer and took out a bright yellow lollipop.

“What‘s that?“

“All the good kids get one.“, you shrugged and smiled.

Sakusa rolled his eyes, snatched the lollipop nonetheless, and limped over to the door.

“You coming?“, he asked, hand on the handle.

“Wait in the car. I wanna get my shoulder checked out.“

“I‘m not some kid. I‘ll get a taxi.“

“If you wait for me, we can get ice cream on the way back!“, Meian called after him.

“Whatever.“, Sakusa pulled the door closed behind him, leaving you and the captain alone to burst into laughter.

“How do you manage them?“, you sighed and shook your head, then looked at him expectantly, “So, what‘s up with your shoulder?“

“Dunno, can‘t quite get my movement radius like usual.“, he swung his arm back and forth until it wrapped around your waist and pulled you close, “Huh. Seems like I‘m healed.“

He held your chin between index finger and thumb and leaned down to meet your lips. You giggled into the kiss, placing one hand on his cheek while running your fingertips along the back of his neck with the other. He hummed happily and deepened the kiss, playfully tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth.

“When can I tell them?“, he asked softly once you broke from each other, linking your fingers with his.

You nuzzled into his broad chest to hide your smile and he wrapped both arms around your soft round figure, slowly swaying on the spot. Back when you started working with the Jackals it had only taken a few months of stolen glances, not-so-accidental touches, and careful courting until Meian asked you to be his girlfriend right before an important match. You agreed immediately under one condition. And while he was never a fan of keeping your relationship secret, he understood that you were worried about what it could mean for either of you if it didn‘t last or if you were being accused of abusing your power. But at this point, it was well over a year and he would appreciate it immensely if Atsumu stopped trying to set him up on blind dates all the time.

“Nothing bad will happen, I promise. I read my contract over and over. I know that thing by heart. Nowhere does it say that we can‘t be together. Just…“, he pulled away a little to rest his forehead against yours, “let me show you off, hm? You know how Bokuto always sprints to his wife after a match to hug and kiss her?“

You nodded

“Well… I wanna do that, too.“

“Wife, huh?“, you teased.

“Princess, let us be public and I‘ll get you a ring so fast you won‘t know what hit ya. Cause I draw the line at secret wife.“

“Alright alright… next match. You can come and kiss me.“

“Yeah?“ His eyes practically glowed at your reply.

“Yes. But you better be faster than Bokuto.“

“Deal.“

Please imagine Meian overtaking Bokuto on the way to kiss his wife in the next match.

Imagine if these races became a thing after matches.

Imagine, when he does it for the first time, Sakusa is caught in the background of a picture of Meian kissing you with the most wtf face.

There would be fancams of their races after every match. People would keep score.

a/n: thank you to @haikyu-mp4 for the headcanon that Sakusa is photobombing the first fancam xD

#meian x chubby reader #haikyuu x chubby reader #chubby reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu x curvy reader #meian x reader #meian shugo #msby sakusa #hq msby #haikyuu msby #msby black jackal #msby meian

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iactuallywenttouni · 2 days

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Debunking Lily's "Behavioural Psychology Degree" with facts and logic (and a two minute google search)

First of all, big ups to @skrinkskronk (EDIT: ammended the screenshot credit :) thank you to skrinkskronk for both the picture and the clarification!) as, without their keen screenshot button, this post could not and would not exist. You can check for yourself - the original ask no longer lives on Lily's blog (a fact that I'm sure many Lily defenders will have quite the opinion about - please see the questions section below! <3) Second of all: who the fuck am I?

Someone who attended university in Canada, that's who!

For real though: I have a bachelor's degree from the University of British Columbia, double majoring in English Literature and History. Does this mean I know anything at all about getting a behavioural psych degree?

No!

But I do know how attending university in Canada works. It is not at all as Lily describes. I'm going to largely avoid talking about the degree itself in this post - CrimsonEnder has already done the research on that and I highly recommend checking out his post for more information on why Lily couldn't even get the degree she claims to have studied for. Instead, I'm going to go forward as if we are in an alternate dimension where Lily made the far more believable claim that she was working towards a Bachelor of Science degree with a focus on Psychology.

Let's do a close reading, shall we?

And barely graduating is still graduating.

Starting off strong: this is a true statement! She's right, to get your high school diploma in the province of Nova Scotia, one must:

Meet the minimum number of credits requited for graduation, which is 18 (source: creditsforgraduationdiplomaen.pdf (ednet.ns.ca) )

That's it! (in my province we also had to pass a literacy assessment and do some 30 odd hours of community service. no, I'm not still salty about it 10 years later.)

However, passing is not succeeding. Lily has stated that she barely passed high school, did the bare minimum to get it over and done with. This is fine in and of itself. I attach no moral or intellectual weight to not caring about high school as it is by no means set up to let every child succeed. However, doing the "bare minimum" to pass does not open many doors for further schooling down the road. So, in order to pass a class, one must achieve a minimum of 60% - otherwise known as a grade of C. Assuming that for her 12th grade year Lily took a full load of 4 courses over two semesters, achieving the minimum grade that would allow her to walk the stage and get her diploma, she would leave high school with a 2.0 gpa.

Remember this score. 2.0. We will come back to this.

This is in Canada, there's no SAT's to take.

Look at that! 2 for 2 true statements. Canada has no SAT or nation-wide equivalent. Understanding this, in order to meet the minimum requirements for admission into university, one's GPA plays an extremely large role. For example, in order to even be considered for admission into McGill, one of Canada's top universities, one must have a 3-year minimum grade range of 85% (an A) and a final GPA of 4.0. Grades equal to or above this minimum do not guarantee admission (NO, I'm NOT still salty that I didn't get admitted). With a 2.0 GPA, Lily's application would have been tossed after a glance. "BUT BUT BUT!" I hear you say, "this is from one of Canada's most selective institutions! In a province Lily doesn't even live in! You're holding her to an improbable standard!" And you would be right! But this was just an example to showcase how university admissions function. Let's look at a uni a little closer to home. Let's even look at four:

Dalhousie University Undergrad minimum requirements: 75% or 3.0 (source: General admission requirements | Dalhousie University) )

Mount Saint Vincent University: 70% or 2.70 with no individual grade below 60% (source: Admissions (msvu.ca) )

Saint Mary's University: 70% or 2.70 with no individual grade below 60% (source: Canadian High School Curriculum Requirements | Future Students | Saint Mary's University (smu.ca) )

University of King's College: 75% or 2.0 with no individual grade below 60% (source: Undergraduate Admission Requirements | University of King's College (ukings.ca) )

She doesn't meet the minimum requirements for any local Halifax university or college with a psych program. However, if we are to be charitable, (and believe that Lily scored slightly above the true minimum of 60%) MSVU could have admitted her based on individual merit. From their mature students policy, we can read:

Applicants who present overall grade XII averages between 65 and 69 percent will be reviewed for admission on an individual basis. (source: Admissions (msvu.ca) )

I'm not going to pretend this isn't the case or couldn't be true or try to obfuscate it from her and her defenders.

... But if the rebuttal is so easy, why doesn't she say that?

You either graduated High School or you didn't.

I'm sure Lily did graduate high school. I'm certain she did so after putting in the minimum amount of required work. I do not believe that she has or ever intends to attend university in Canada.

Objections I'm sure this post will spark:

"skrinkskronk's screenshot could be faked!"

And I could have blue skin, but that is not reality. Rather than taking my word for the fact that this ask was real, the answer Lily gave was as shown above, and many people saw it before it went MIA, I instead invite you to consider something: asking Lily yourself. Go on! Ask her! In whatever way you find most comfortable, ask how she went to university for a) a degree that doesn't exist b) with a below-requirement gpa and c) paid for it with money she doesn't have. When she deletes your ask, ignores your superchat, or approaches your honest and genuine thirst for truth with hostility, I then want you to ask yourself why that is.

"Lily could have upgraded her scores at a local college before applying to university!"

Did she say that? Has she ever claimed to have done that? Or are you putting the right words into her mouth so she can easily go "Yup! that's what I did! Obviously!"

If she had done this (or had at least thought of this herself), why didn't she claim to have done this in the original ask? Wouldn't it be easier to just say "I upgraded later" than pretend that a measly 2.0 could get you into an advanced degree program? I have no doubt that Lily is going to recount her story and claim the above statement was true all along. "[She] just upgraded!" But I ask you to think on this, to really consider it: why is the story only changing after confrontation? If the answer is so simple and so obvious... why was it not always true?

"You say at multiple points that Lily could easily provide a rebuttal but she doesn't owe you or any of her critics a response!"

This is true! However, she responds to criticism all the time.

Her taking down Sai's streams is her responding to Sai's criticism. Her snarkily talking around Ant and his content in her videos is her responding to his criticism. Her answering asks from her fans (despite in her "rules" stating that she will not) filling her in on the goings on of her critics is a response to their criticism. A response isn't always the literal "and to that I say: blah blah blah".

If Crimson, I, or anyone else who thought twice about this situation were wrong: could we not be easily disproved? She is the one who (supposedly) attempted the degree. The records would exist. She would have access to them. She would not run away when challenged with a very easily disprovable argument. As much as Lily loves to protest that she ignores the haters and refuses to respond to criticism, that claim is demonstrably false. She responds to criticism all the time - she can't keep Sai, Crimson, or Ant's names out of her mouth while on stream, in her videos, or on her blog. If she had an easy win, she would take it. She has before. She will again.

Closing Arguments

I feel like I have adequately demonstrated that, even if Lily did apply for an undergraduate degree, if not the flashy shiny

Behavioural Psychology

that she claims, she likely wouldn't have even made it past the admissions stage. I don't want to say that it's completely impossible for her to have attempted post-secondary education. As stated above: MSVU could have admitted her based on individual merit.

What I do hope is that this post invites people think more critically about her claims.

What do I think happened with the original ask? I think some anon, the original question asker or otherwise, challenged her before I or CrimsonEnder did. This scared her and, realizing she'd been caught, tried to wash away the evidence before anyone else could trip on the lie. Sadly, that's not what happened.

If she did attend university, how did she pay for it? Is a 2.0 GPA enough to qualify her for a scholarship, grant, or bursary? A 4 year degree in Canada can easily run a person $6,463 per year, not including textbooks or other fees. Where did she suddenly get that much money? These claims are so easily questioned and disproven because Lily Orchard thinks her audience is too whipped and fundamentally too stupid to ever seek the information for themselves.

She does not respect you. She does not respect your intelligence as a human being.

You deserve better.

#lily orchard #lily orchard critical #lily orchard is a liar

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 day

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Just Friends: Get Ready

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

masterlist

Summary: Bucky sleeps over.

It’s giving

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You shimmy and sway before the mirror behind the polka dot skirt. It’s cute but is it date cute. Does it matter? It’s not really a date, not for you. You’re just there for moral support. Geez, isn’t Bucky a soldier? You think he could face a gorgeous sophisticated woman like Charlize.

You don’t get how he doesn’t see how perfect they are for each other. She’s older and confident and so beautiful. And smart to boot. And he’s handsome and built and somewhat famous. They are the power couple for the ages. Quite literally with Bucky aging into his second century.

It should be fun anyway. Dinner out can be a bit overwhelming but it isn’t so bad with friends. Heck, you’re sure they will be too busy gabbing and ditch you and your date quickly. At least, that’s what you’re hoping for.

Your apartment buzzer goes off and makes you jump. You blanch at your reflection and pull the skirt on. You were never going to decide so you’ll just go with it. You swipe up the blouse with the eyelet collar and swoop it over your head. You leave it untucked as you slam the button to quiet the offensive noise.

“Hey!” You call into the speaker.

“Dreamy,” Bucky sounds angry as he growls through the crackling line.

“What are you doing here? You should be getting ready.”

“I am,” he snips.

“Oh, right, well, come on up, I guess.”

He huffs right before you let the button go. He’s been grouchy lately. You asked him if it was work. He shook his head and kept reading. You tried to keep guessing and he just groaned and told you nothing’s wrong. So, you let him mope.

It doesn’t take him long to get to your floor. He pounds on the floor and you let him in. He doesn’t look ready. You squint and step back to look him up and down.

“Bucky,” you reproach.

“What? I got a tie,” he pulls his leather jacket open. “It’s just a bit... stubborn.”

“Oh, gosh,” you tug on the crooked tie, “here.”

He stoops to let you even out the tails and you pat it as you peer up at his floppy hair. His beard is getting long too. The tufts jut out at his chin like horns.

“Come here,” you sneer and grab his wrist.

He lets you drag him across the apartment and into the bathroom. You flip down the lid of the toilet and point him to it. You take your brush and sigh, shaking your head as you tut. You brush back his dark hair, strands of silver sparkling in the light.

“You’re a mess.”

“I tried.”

“Sure,” you try to tame the flopping locks, “one second.” You grab your extra hold spray and press his hair back as you block his face from the aerosol blast. He shifts and you tap his boot with your toe. “Sit still.”

“Mm, that smells good,” he stops fidgeting.

“Coconut. It’s my favourite. And it’s expensive, so thank me for wasting it on you,” you put the bottle down and comb through his hair to give it a less stiff look. His eyes flick up and meet yours as your fingertips graze his scalp.

“Ugh, you ever thought of getting into massage?” He chirps.

“Har har,” you say dryly, “Bucky, what are you doing here? I told you to meet me at the restaurant.”

You take a small comb and tidy his beard as he scrunches his nose. You finish and rinse your hands in the sink. You look at yourself. You’re still not ready.

“Yeah, well... I couldn’t get my hair to behave.”

“We’ll see if it holds.” You sniff.

You tuck the blouse into your skirt and turn to him. He stares at you. You examine his collar and his slacks. They’re nice but the shirt is wrinkled.

“Bucky, did you at least iron that?”

“It’s new?” He shrugs.

“It’s all covered in lines,” you cross your arms. “Take it off.”

“What? I think the place requires shirts--”

“Don’t be silly.”

“Wow, if I had to guess, I’d say you’re nervous about our little date,” he stands and loosens the tie you just fixed.

“I just... want it to be perfect. I want you to have a good time.”

“I always have a good time with you, Dreamy,” he unbuttons his shirt.

“Right, well, you should be worried about Charlize,” you stomp out of the bathroom and unfold the board behind the door. You plug in the iron as he comes close and tosses his shirt over it. He wears a ribbed tank beneath. “She’s so awesome. Aren’t you excited?”

“Eh, sure,” he says noncommittally. “And what about you? You find someone?”

“Yep, all’s sorted out. All my hard work,” you wave your hand in front of the iron as it warms, impatient for it to heat up.

Finding a date hadn’t been as easy as you assumed. You thought when you offered free dinner, anyone would just come along for the meal. That was very much not the case but you found a workaround.

“Don’t do that. You’re going to burn yourself,” he chides.

“Mm, and you can blame yourself for not pressing your clothes,” you shake your head.

“Oh, dreamy, I love it when you’re mad. It’s so cute.”

“No teasing,” you snip, “try to be charming.”

“What? I’m charming,” he blusters.

You look at him, “sure.”

He scoffs, “alright, Mrs. Polka Dot skirt.”

“What? It’s cute.”

“It’s not exactly date material,” he snickers.

“Ugh, fine, you,” you point at him, “deal with your shirt and I’ll find a date outfit. Ugh.”

You sweep around the board and stride into the bedroom. You swing the door carelessly behind you and make your way to the closet. A dress would be better, you guess. If it shuts him up, then you’ll happily wear one. Ah, that one’s cute! You forgot about it.

You go to the bed and strip off the skirt and blouse. You stagger around before you manage to step into the peridot dress. The bows on the straps are too much. You look in the mirror and do a little dance. It fits, but it is short.

You glance over and hesitate. The door is still slightly ajar. You flit over and as you come out, Bucky clears his throat. He puts his head down and focuses on ironing his sleeve.

He peeks over at you and his brows furrow, “better?” You ask.

“Uh, I guess. Green is a choice,” he smirks.

“Okay, Calvin Klein, well, I will have to get you to help me with my closet later.”

He chuckles and goes back to pressing the iron to the fabric. You go to the bathroom, conscious of him as you check yourself in the mirror. It feels like he’s watching you but it’s probably just that the place is so small.

“I won’t be long, I don’t want to be late,” you assure him.

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #just friends #drabble #series #avengers #mcu #marvel #captain america #winter soldier

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storiesfromafan · 18 hours

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What's Mine Is Mine - Mattheo x Reader

A/N: woke up to the news of Dame Maggie Smith's passing. So I did a little something in memory.

Prompt: “I'm not the jealous type, but what's mine is mine. End of story"

“What do you think you were doing!?” Boomed the loud voice of Professor McGonagall. “Fighting another student! And breaking his nose! Mr Riddle, it will be detention for a month for you!”

You looked to your boyfriend, a hard look on your face. As you were also mad at the Slytherin boy. Yet he didn't looked faze, maybe a little proud of himself more so. You didn't know why he had to attack the Gryffindor boy.

“And you" McGonagall swings around to you look at you, still mad but a little softer. “You will get detention for two weeks!”

“W-what?” You sputtered. “I-I did nothing, other then try to break them up!?”

“When I came upon the scene, it didn't look like you were breaking it up Miss (Y/L/N). Two weeks detention, another word from you and it will be more, understood?”

You bit your tongue and nodded your head, casting a glare to Mattheo. Who looked quite pleased with himself.

The Professor sighed. “Alright, back to your house you go".

You both got up from your seats in McGonagall's class room, and began to walk to the room's door. Before you even took two step's, the Professor asked for you to stop and wait a moment. She sent off Mattheo, who didn't like leaving you, but he reluctantly left the room. You turned back and moved to stand before McGonagall at her desk.

“Yes Professor?” You asked calmly.

She looked at you with a soft, pointed look. “I am not one to meddle in the lives of students, but are you sure Mr Riddle is the right suitor for you? He is hot headed and easy to anger, that to me is not a good thing".

You understood her concerns and felt touched the women cared, but she did not know Mattheo like you did. No one did. They only saw what he showed them; cocky, tough, smartass and anger issues. But what you have seen of your boyfriend was loyalty, kindness, sweet and passionate sides. Slytherin boy's protected and coveted what was theirs.

“All due respect Professor, you don't know Mattheo like I do" you replied with a confident voice. “He might be what you have said, but you don't know him like I do. There is more to him then just that. Am I free to leave now?”

Professor McGonagall gave you a surprised look before dismissing you. You weren’t one to necessarily speak up like you did, and be rather rude to those in authority. But part of her admired your loyalty to Mattheo Riddle. And she hoped you were right about knowing him well.

You walked from the classroom with a sigh. This is not how you wanted your afternoon to go. You didn't want to have to step between your boyfriend, who had came across a Gryffindor classmate asking you for your notes from Snape's class, and another student. Alright, Slytherin and Gryffindor might not get along, but with Henry, you had a mutual respect for each other and your studies.

But Mattheo came upon you both, having a laugh, and looks to have thought Henry was flirting with you. One minute you're laughing, the next Mattheo had grabbed Henry and pulled him away. They exchanged words before Mattheo punched him. And began their fist fight. You moved to break them up, which was hopeless. Soon Professor McGonagall came across you three, as well as the crowd of on lookers. And, well you know what happened next.

“What did she want?” Asked Mattheo, as you came upon him leaning on a wall.

You kept your mouth shut, choosing to ignore your boyfriend and continue walking to the dungeons. A few more times did Mattheo try to talk to you, but you still kept your lips shut tight. Your anger slowly boiling below the surface. When you both descended the stairs to the dungeon did he try again.

“Come on love" he half sighed, half whined. “Talk to me!”

You stopped suddenly – which halted Mattheo – and turned around to shoot him a sharp look. “What can I say to take back the last hour, Theo? Nothing. So what's the point!?”

He flinched at your raised voice. “Come on love" – he stepped up and grabbed your hand, which you withdrew from him a few seconds later – “don't be like this".

“Like what?” You questioned while crossing your arms over your chest.

“L-like this" he moved his hands up and down, gesturing to your stern presence. “This stern figure, when you're not".

You scoffed. “I wouldn’t have to be stern if you hadn't attacked Henry".

Mattheo rolled his eyes, “Henry. God his name is worse then his shit fighting skills".

You studied your boyfriend. And after taking in his annoyed tone, agitated roll of his eyes and the fact he'd beaten up your friend but not friend. You concluded one thing about your boyfriend.

“You were jealous" you proclaimed in amusement, having to hold back a chuckle.

Mattheo shot you a glare. “I'm not the jealous type, but what's mine is mine. End of story”.

You smirked. “You answered that a little too quick, love” you laughed. And began to head for Slytherin house.

Mattheo sputtered out words, trying to defend himself before finally letting out a frustrated sound. “I was not jealous!” He called before storming after you and your cackling frame.

#mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x reader #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle x fem!reader

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justmeinadaze · 2 days

Text

Nothings Gonna Change My World Part 2 (Steddie X You)(Zombie Apocalypse Universe)

A/N: The way I am having fun with this <3

I can absolutely go back to some of these universes and expand in separate series. Especially this one.

Please Enjoy!

Warnings: Steddie X Fem Reader, In universe Zombie Apocalypse survivors Steddie X Y/N, SMUT, dp, dirty talk, and things in-between, FLUFF, in the universe the relationship is already established and they love each other <3

ANGST! Obviously Zombies, Steve is the leader of a community and Eddie is an ex military sniper; mentions of military PTSD (brief) , mentions of Steve being abandoned by parents, mentions of readers sister Kallie being turned and Y/N guilt of that, Reader is kidnapped and the boys save her, mentions of blood, cliffhanger in universe, Eddie talks about his mother dying of cancer (brief), Steve talks about his asshole dad (brief), they ask again how her sister passed but she refuses to answer.

This chapter kinda delves into abandonment issues and fears of losing new people in your life so if that's a trigger fair warning! I have abandonment issues so I get it <3

Word Count: 6765

Chapter 1/Donate to Me <3

“Ok and how did you feel moving around?”

“Like a passenger I guess. It was very much like a movie or VR.”, you sigh as you lean back in your seat.

You had been answering his questions for over two hours and quite frankly you were exhausted. After the experiment and now dealing with this asshole, you barely even had time to process what you saw.

“Was anything similar to our universe? Or even your life in general?”

“My sister was still dead. That’s fun.”, you sass as his eyes scan you over. “Um, they seem forever regressed in a time period that has long since past even though my grandma always said the 90s were a blast.”

“Was anyone there you recognized? Family, past friends, relationships?”

Your gaze shifts as you avoid his eyes and prepare to do the thing you do best; lie.

“Um, my ex was there. In that universe, he cheated on me. In ours, he just left me.”

“I see… ok, and you said you just went to bar, listened to a band, went to a party, and then woke up?”

“Yup.”, you reply with an obnoxious pop on that last letter.

“Did anything stand out as odd or feel off?”

You got lost in the void as you ran through the universe you just experienced and couldn’t help but smile at the warm fuzzy feeling of safety that flowed through you when you were around Eddie and Steve. For the first time in years, nothing stood out or felt off.

“Y/N?”

‘Oh, um, no nothing.”

“Ok…ok. Go ahead and head back to the common area. We just served meals so eat, rest up, and we’ll talk again after the next session.”

***

The following day, you felt their eyes on you. Steve was always in a corner doing push-ups or working out in the gym that was provided while Eddie was either smoking or reading on the balcony outside of the sitting area.

You planned to avoid them for the rest of the time but you were antsy as jitters ran through your hands desperate for a beer to calm your nerves. Stepping outside, you took a seat on one of the lawn chairs without looking his way.

Before even saying a word, he extended his arm out with his pack in hand.

“Don’t get used to this. These things are fucking expensive in here but…” When all you do is stare, he shakes it finally willing you to take one of the sticks between your fingers and lighting the end. “It’s kind of amusing to me that there’s a universe with an Eddie Munson that doesn’t smoke. He had a point though. Because of my mom I shouldn’t be doing it myself yet here I am.”

Flashing a smirk your way, he visually takes this version of you in as you inhale the cigarette and blow out a big puff of smoke. Compared to the you in the alternate universe, you seemed a bit more rough around the edges. While you never answered Steve’s question about your class status, you did seem like you fit in both.

You could pass for upper class like the other boy with how clean cut you were with that air of arrogance that screamed everyone was beneath you. But unlike them, you seemed exhausted like someone who had just completed their last leg of ten-mile race. You appeared sassy and confident but to him you also seemed…sad.

“You said your name was Y/N? In the thing I mean.”, he clarified when your looked at him with confusion. “I’m Eddie. Well Edward but my friends call me Eddie.”

“I don’t care. You and I aren’t friends.”

“Excuse the fuck out of me, princess.”

Your eyes shift his way again at the term remembering him calling you that in the alternate universe and how comfortable he made you feel.

“I’m sorry. I, uh, yeah my name is Y/N. Doctor dipshit said I had to be sober for this experiment so it’s been a week since I’ve had anything and it’s making me insane.”

“I know how that goes. After our experience I would love a beer.”, he chuckles making you grin as well. “So, uh, if I may how did it feel?”

“I’m sorry?”

“The doctor guy asked me what it felt like in the universe and I told him it was kind of surreal like I was seeing through someone else’s eyes but what was even more crazy was I could smell the smoke in the air at the party. I could practically feel the plastic from the controller when I was playing that game. I, um, I could feel your lips. I can still smell your perfume and cold air that was attached to you when Steve brought you inside.”

Jesus, he could string words together like a poet which you weren’t expecting at all. As he spoke, your brain replayed those four hours as your eyes took in Eddie who had turned in his chair to give you more of his attention.

“Did you experience the same?”

“I did.”, Steve answers as he saunters around the corner and sits at the end of your lawn chair to light his own cigarette eliciting an eye roll from the other boy.

“I wasn’t asking you, Harrington, but good to know.”

As the man inhales and exhales, he stares off into the distance towards the skyline.

“I think that was genuinely the first time I felt happy…being on stage and playing that guitar… Then I saw you come in and I felt like I knew you.”

“Maybe in that universe we had passed by each other a few times before that night.”

Steve’s lips pout out as he shakes his head.

“Naw, it didn’t feel that way. Did it feel like that for you?”

“No.”

“Just no?”

“Jesus Christ! What do you both want from me?!”

“A straight fucking answer maybe.”, Eddie responds as you rise from your chair and toss the cigarette over the edge of the building.

“I don’t owe you anything especially an answer.”

As you start to head back inside the long-haired boy’s voice gives you pause.

“I still don’t think less of you for anything you’ve done. That’s one thing that version of me and I have in common.”

“I don’t either but I do want to know more.”

***

That morning you dragged your sleepy form to the cafeteria to grab some coffee and took a seat at a random table…or so you thought.

“Kinda starting to feel like you’re stalking me, sweetheart.”

“Jesus Christ.”, you sigh ignoring his breathy laugh as he continues to pick at the cereal in his bowl. “Why are you two even eating together? I thought you hated each other.”

“I mean, we’re going to be stuck together for a month. Might as well make the best of it.”, Steve shrugs as he sips from his own cup.

You take in his comment as your gaze shifts to the void in front of you. You had numerous dreams about them and a couple about Kallie that were making you feel a bit lonely. You could have some casual conversation. What could it hurt?

“I felt safe with you both. It was an intense emotion but I knew I could trust you. Which is weird because I don’t trust anyone except my sister.”

“Kallie.” You nod at Eddie’s answer surprised he even remembered. “Do you have that tattoo?”

“Yeah and in the same place.”

“It’s interesting what stays the same. My dad is still an asshole, Eddie was still living with his uncle, and you still lost your sister.”, Steve theorized as he casually continues to drink. “I’m sorry, honey. Maybe this universe today will be different.”

“Honestly…I don’t know what I’d do if I saw her face again.”

“Ok, guys.”, the doctor shouts as he claps his hands to get everyone’s attention. “We’re very excited about the second test to see what happens. It seems we had some positive experiences when it came to the first universe. We’re hoping for the same in this regard. Please, if you don’t mind, gather your dishes and place them on the counter so we can start heading to the vessels.”

“Pfft, if you don’t mind. Like we have a choice.”, Eddie snickers as he takes note that his comment made you smirk as well.

As you enter the experiment room, the three of you separate to go to your different pods where nurses do the same as they had before; making sure you were comfortable and getting your vitals.

“Alright, Y/N, ready for the pinch… Oh I know.”, she coos as you wince. “Dropping down in 3, 2, 1…”

######################

Everything was dark around you when you tried to open your eyes but couldn’t. The feeling of fear heavy in your heart as you listened to people whisper around you.

“Do you really think she’ll help save us?”

“Yeah, I mean she’s a part of his group so once he comes for her we can use her to have Harrington provide us with a cure.”

“If he has the cure than why hasn’t he done it already?”

“I don’t fucking know! Maybe he’s selfish like his father.”

The sound of your whine gives them pause as you try to break the bonds tied around your wrists keeping you fastened to the chair underneath you. They were using you to get to one of the men you loved.

If they’d remove the gag from your mouth you could tell them the truth; that he didn’t have a cure. If he had, he absolutely would have handed it over by now. You knew because you thought the same thing.

When you met him, you weren’t aware of what building you were in until you found him rummaging through his father’s desk. When you pulled your gun on him, he held up his palms in surrender insisting he wasn’t here to cause trouble. It took all your energy not to kill him right then and there but a red dot zeroed in on your chest forced you to pause.

The Harrington Virus was the reason your sister was taken from you, dying in your arms before she began to turn into a mindless flesh-eating corpse that you had to put down.

He told you then about how his father’s company had created a viral weapon to sell to the military but it backfired and ended the world. His parents went into hiding and he spent the last two years looking for a cure feeling strongly it had to be somewhere within his father’s things.

Over the last six months, you got to know him and his best friend he had been trying to survive with, falling in love with them and trying to help them save the world so to speak.

While out on a routine supply run, someone took you and here you were.

“Did you hear that?”, one of the men asked cocking his gun as you hear footsteps echo away from you.

Loud squelching noises make you jump as you prepare for the worst. Your body trembles in terror before the blindfold is removed from your eyes and you blink to adjust to the light around you.

“Everything’s ok, honey.”, Steve comforts as he takes the gag out of your mouth and begins untying you from the chair. Taking in your surroundings, both men who had kidnapped you were now dead with the man’s knife bloodied on the ground beside you. They had brought you to a warehouse of some kind but where you weren’t sure.

“Steve, you shouldn’t be here. They wanted you to come for me! We had a deal!”

“Yeah we did but I ignored it. We can fight about it later.”, he sasses as he grabs your hand and prepares to run before meeting another gun barrel in his face. “Tommy…good to see you again.”

The man growls as he hits Steve with the butt of his weapon and watches as he falls to the side.

“Good to see you to, Harrington. How’s your dad?”

“I wouldn’t know. He disappeared and didn’t feel the need to take me with him.”, the boy winces as he tries to stand but is pushed back down.

You step forward to help but Tommy turns the gun on you.

“Don’t move, Y/N. How could you do this? How could you side with him after what happened to Kallie?!”

“Don’t you dare talk about my sister!”

“She would be so ashamed of you! You said you were going to kill him and yet somehow you managed to fuck him. The first time we saw you two together while scouting we thought maybe you were just trying to get on his good side. Come to find out, no, you actually fucking love him!”

You see the glint of light near the ceiling and your sigh in frustration at both men’s stubbornness. As you hold your palm in the air, Tommy scans you over trying to get a read on what you’re doing.

“It’s not his fault, Tommy. I promise. These past 6 months we’ve been trying to track down Bill and any notes he had on a cure. We’ve come up with nothing.”

“That’s impossible! He can’t just fucking evaporate into thin fucking air, Y/N!”

“I know! But he will if you kill his son. If you kill him you’ll never have a chance!”

You see doubt flicker across his face for a split second before it hardens once more and raises his weapon in your direction.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice cracks as you close your eyes and close your fist above you. The second your fingertips make contact with the bottom of your hand, you hear a soft whooshing sound followed by a bullet hitting flesh and when you open your eyes again Tommy is dead on the ground in front of you. “You two are idiots.”, you scold as you lean forward to help Steve to his feet right as Eddie slides into view slinging his sniper rifle over his shoulder.

“Are you alright?”, the long-haired boy asks with concern as his fingers caress the scrapes on your skin.

“Yeah, come on. We have to go.”

The three of you run and skirt around the undead unseen back to the compound you called home.

***

“Ooooooow!”, Steve whines overdramatically as a girl pushes a bandage over the cut on his forehead.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby.”, she teases as she lightly taps his forehead and turns to work on you.

“I’m fine, Robin. Don’t waist the supplies.”

“I didn’t ask if you were fine, Y/N. I am designated nurse lady so let me at least look you over, please and thank you.”, she grins making you smile as well as you rolled your eyes.

The year you and Kallie were with Tommy and his group, you rarely smiled. Everything you two did there was to find the Harringtons and find a cure especially after Tommy’s girlfriend got infected. There was very little time for play or fun and your sister hated it. She always talked about leaving the group and heading off towards the beach with your back to the water.

You insisted on staying because you felt like you were close to the cure. Maybe if you had left Kallie would still be here…

When you joined Steve and Eddie at their base with the high school, everyone seemed so much more at ease. They worked together to get things done and made time to have fun which you didn’t realize you missed till your first night here.

“Ok, do you think any more of them will come back?”, Wayne asked at the desk just outside of the nurse’s office.

“I don’t know. Y/N always said Tommy was in charge so I guess it depends on who takes over and if they even want to bother.”, his nephew answers as they continue to look down at a map on the table.

“Well, we’ll continue to keep an eye out and I suggest Steve and Y/N don’t leave this place alone for any reason until we can confirm.”

“Can I shoot them in the legs if they do?”, Eddie jests as his best friend pushes him to the side lightly.

You feel all eyes in the room watch you as you silently leave the area and head to your shared room with the guys. The best part about being in a school was each classroom was utilized as a different room. This particular hallway was for bedrooms but soon you would have to open another with the more people you let in.

The generators kept the electricity running so you were able to have mini fridges and food in each area along with music and anything else you may need.

“Ok, we can fight about it now if you want.”, Steve announces as they both come in and shut the door.

Shaking off your jacket and tossing it aside you continue to ignore them as they do the same. Fashion was scarce in the apocalypse but goddamn did they look good. Steve always wore that brown leather military jacket he stole from a gun store nearby but depending on who he was meeting that day was what he wore underneath. For your rescue, jeans and a crisp black t-shirt with black running shoes were in order but if he was meeting a new member of the group or a group outside to do exchanges with he donned slacks and a button up shirt to look “presentable.”

Eddie never cared as long as he was comfortable. When you guys went out scavenging, if he found a band shirt he enjoyed he brought it back home with him wearing one of those with a pair of jeans or sweats and always having his DIO vest over that which he had modified himself to hold his sniper bullets should he need them.

Before you met them you knew about Eddie Munson but not enough to form an opinion. With Tommy, you had done research on Steve and he was flagged as an accomplice but deemed invaluable because there wasn’t much information on them together. When you and Kallie did stake outs, you saw them spend time together and watched him practice firing his weapon, surprised about how well he shot.

After coming here, you learned that his uncle had been in the military before he came to live with him and took him out to a range to show him how to shoot. Eddie himself signed up for service and did a tour labeled as the best sniper marksman in his unit. He had planned on doing another tour but while on leave the world ended.

Your eyes continue flick between them as Eddie leaned against the arm of the couch with his arms folded across his chest while Steve stood in front of you waiting for you to speak. Unable to find the words in that moment, you stepped forward and smacked him hard across the face.

“We had a deal. If anything ever happened to me; if I got kidnapped or was in a situation that was dangerous you would leave me behind because people on this earth and finding a cure was more important!”

“I made that deal for you but I’ve never liked it especially now.”

“Oh my God, Steve, you are so fucking selfish! We’ve come so close numerous times to finding an end to this! I’m just one person in a sea of others who need your help!”

“That’s how you see it. I don’t.”

“I don’t care! The world needs you!”

“The world may need me but I need you!”, he snaps, placing his hands on his hips as he exhales. “WE need you.”

“That’s…that’s not fair.”

“No, sweetheart. What’s not fair is making us choose. To us…you’re our world. We love you.”, Eddie adds softly as your eyes meet his. “Now, how about we stop pretending you’re sacrificing yourself for the world and be honest. You don’t want us coming to save you because you don’t want to be responsible for another death.”

“Even though we tell you time and time again that what happened with Kallie wasn’t your fault.”

Your jaw tightens as you glare at the wall.

“I got stuck in that building. I should have been the one…”

“No, baby, no. Your sister made her choice because she loved you. What happened wasn’t because of you or her. It happened because my father was greedy and helped create a weapon without knowing anything about it.”

Tears started to fall but as they stepped forward, you hastily ran out of the room.

***

“Hey, Y/N. Can you go the library for me and grab me a book about infections? I’m trying to read up on alternative remedies for green things.”

“Gross and you can’t get this, Rob, because…?”

“Because I asked you to.”

Laughing and patting her shoulder, you got to your feet as you headed away from the group in the cafeteria to make your way for the library to get what she needed. Part of the reason you put up with Robin’s sass is because she reminded of Kallie; 90% attitude and sarcasm with a kind, genuine heart.

As you opened the door music caught your attention as you stepped inside.

“Miss Y/L/N.”, Eddie smiled as he gestured towards the table that had a candle lit in the middle surround by cafeteria trays of food in front of three seats.

“I’m going to kill Robin.”

“Ah no you’re not.”, Steve teases as he takes your hand and guides you to your seat. “On our menu today, we have school lunch hamburgers with a side of fries and a can of soda Eddie brought back with him from his last supply run.”

“Aaaaaand…”, the long-haired boy sings as he reaches into his vest and pulls out the desert to display to you. “A chocolate cupcake.”

“Oh my god. What did I do to deserve this Michelin star meal?”, you joke with a smile.

“You’re you.”, Eddie grins as he reaches over to place his palm over yours. “And you went through a lot today. Not just with getting kidnapped but these were people you were with for over a year. They were family…”

“Kallie was family. You two…are my family.”, you sigh as you swallow the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry, I just—”

“Hey, no reason to apologize. You’re a stubborn hardass. We get that.”, Steve interrupts sarcastically, chuckling when you punch his arm. “If anyone gets that, honey, it’s us. I may help watch over those people out there but you both mean everything to me. I don’t know where I would be if…”

Your heart broke as you watched him shift into a memory he only spoke about a handful of times. When the virus broke out, he was at home but did what they rehearsed as a family and ran to his BMW to speed to the airport. His parent’s security stopped him as the helicopter flew over his head and neither of them even gave a cursory glance at their son as it flew away.

The area became over run and all Steve could do was sprint as he tried to remain in one piece. He was cornered at the high school and right as he thought he was about to die; gun fire went off before a ringed hand reached from behind a gate and yanked him inside.

Eddie had been with his uncle which he was thankful for as both men ran to the closest safe place they could find. Some of the nearby kids were hold up there and he did what he could to save them. Once it was cleared of the infected, he and Steve worked together to build their little community.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

Flashing you a big smile, he reaches for your hand and kisses the back as you three eat your meal. When you’re finished, Eddie beams your way mischievously and presses something behind him before a new song lightly flows through the room.

“Wise men say

Only fools, only fools rush in

Oh, but I, but I, I can't help falling in love with you.”

“You’re such a dork.”, you giggle as you take the hand he extends to you and guides you to your feet where you both lightly begin to sway.

“Shall I stay?

Would it be, would it be a sin?

If I can't help falling in love with you.”

“I was terrified when you didn’t come back.”, Eddie murmurs above you as you lay your head against his chest. “I tried picturing you as one of those things and I just… it killed me. When Steve got Tommy’s letter, I was relieved you weren’t dead but I was so angry…I wanted to burn that whole place to ground.”

As your gaze shifts to look at his face, you realize his eyes are glazed over as he simmers in his fury. Even though the world had ended, Eddie still carried PTSD from the time before. While he was a decorated soldier, during his tour he saw a lot of things he carried with him that had you holding him at night as he cried from a nightmare.

Zombies were one thing but men coming after him with weapons and intent was another.

“I love you, baby. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Blinking back into the moment, he softly smiles before kissing your forehead and spinning you into Steve’s awaiting arms.

“Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things, you know, are meant to be.”

“I don’t know what we’d do without you, honey. Jesus, wait until we tell our children we met their mom when she pointed a gun in my face.”, he chuckles as he playfully dips you.

As your face falls, he wraps his arms tightly around you.

“Take my hand

Take my whole life too

For I can"t help falling in love with you.”

“We’re going to figure this out, Y/N. Whether it be a cure or a safe place in this chaos, we’ll get everything in order and start a family.”

Tilting your head back, his lips land softly on yours as his kisses slowly get more passionate.

“Wait…what if someone…comes in here.”, you pant making him smile as his thumbs caress your cheek.

“I’ve booked this suite all night, baby. It’s just you, me, and Eddie till morning.”

After quick peck again, you fall to your knees and fumble with his belt as he removes his shirt above you. As soon as his cock springs free, your lips wrap around it as he places his hand on your head to guide you.

“God, Y/N. That feels so fucking good.”

Reaching behind you, the long-haired boy laughs knowing what you’re looking for as he comes closer and pushes down his sweats. Both men groan and exhale heavily as your mouth switches between them while pumping your hand to spread your saliva along their shaft.

“Come here, sweetheart.”, Eddie breathily instructions as he jumps up on to one of the tables and helps you out of your jeans and panties before guiding you till you were straddling his waist.

After lifting off his own shirt, you couldn’t help but kiss along the scars on his chest like you always did as he petted your head. He had so many old wounds from battles he didn’t talk about; war, the apocalypse, his father when he was growing up.

Eddie gave you the baseline of information. When his mother went missing he cried every day but his father didn’t care, hurting him over and over till he was arrested. One day overseas a bomb went off knocking him back and causing the little cuts on his stomach. Before he ran with Wayne, the trailer park was over run and he smashed out a car window to hot wire it so they could get away.

Each scar had a different story but they made up the man he was and you loved every part of him.

You felt safe with him; both of them.

“F-Fuck, princess.”, Eddie mewled as your gradually descended on to his length.

Cupping your face in his hands, he tenderly trailed kisses from your forehead to your lips.

Feeling Steve’s large palms on your ass, you lifted up to allow him more access as he carefully guided his own cock into your hole.

You would never get used to the full feeling of them both inside you but just like out in the world, in the bedroom you felt safe.

Between their bodies, nothing else mattered.

You could see the stars, heaven, and even the future. A future with no virus, smiling kids, and happy home filled with hope. No more nightmares or screams. Just peace.

“Hey, hey. A-are you ok? Are we hurting you?”, Steve asked as Eddie whipped the tears that had begun to fall.

“No…I just love you both… so much.”

Grinning they kiss a random part of your body as they begin thrusting into you again at a steady pace.

“We love you to, baby. Mmph— everything’s ok.”

“We love you.”, Eddie repeated as his jaw fell open in a silent moan. “You feel so good.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you clung to him as they found a faster rhythm allowing their cocks to hit every sensitive spot inside of you roughly.

“Cum, baby. You can do it, honey. That’s it.”, Steve coaxed as your body shook and the coil snapped. “Atta girl. That’s our beautiful girl. Shit.”, he grunted as his hips sloppily slammed his release into your behind.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Up, Y/N.”, Eddie lightly commanded but the other boy took the initiative, lifting you off his friend’s dick and allowing you to tilt over him as you bobbed your head, catching his release on your tongue as it spurts down your throat. “Mmph—good girl. Good girl.”

You giggle as Steve pulls you down the floor and you utilize his arm as a pillow while the long-haired boy hops down to snuggle you to his chest.

“We got you one more thing.”

“Why?”, you blush as you listen to his strained groan while reaching for his bag above his head.

“Because we love you. Unless you don’t want it. I can take it back to the store and—” His grin grows as you lightly smack his arm and Eddie chuckles behind you.

As soon as everyone calms down, he produces a small diamond ring that has you smirking his way.

“What’s that?”

“A ring.”

“For what?”

“For you.”, the other boy answers. “If you want it, that is.”

You can’t help but blink as you sit up and they follow.

“I don’t understand.”

“Yes, you do.”, Steve replies way too calmly. He was definitely meant to be a leader. “You’re just scared.”

“I am not. What on earth do I have to be afraid of?”

“Besides the ever-present doom of the end of the world?”, Eddie jokes as he leans back on his palms. “Maybe losing us…like you did Kallie… Trust me, babe. I was a solider. I understand that fear better than most.”

“So do I. My parents abandoned me in the middle of all this.”, Steve gestures around him. “I watched them fly away while people around me were dying but, honey, you can’t live your life in fear…especially this one. We could be gone at any second and if anything happened to me than I’d want my last memories to be a full life with you and my best friend.”

After thinking for a moment, you casually take the ring from his hand and pretend to inspect it.

“I think when you give a girl something like this you’re supposed to ask her a specific question.”

They both laugh as they grab each one of your hands.

“Honey, I’ve been love you since I met you. You’re smart, sweet, and so fucking beautiful. The first time I held you I knew I’d never let you go. Will you marry me?”

Cupping your cheek, Eddie turned you to face him.

“I don’t trust many people but when I saw you running around that building trying to sneak up on Steve I knew you were special.”, he chuckles as you laugh at the memory. “I love your sarcasm and your strength and you motivate me to open my heart not just to you but people around me. You make me a better man, sweetheart. Will you marry me?”

Before you can answer, Dustin busts through the library doors as they pull a blanket over your lower half to cover you.

“Henderson! Rude, man—”

“Steve, something… you need to come…now…”, the boy panted.

Noting his genuine concern, both men pulled up their pants and began to follow.

“Stay here.”

“That’s cute you think I’d listen to that.”, you answer his command sarcastically as you tug up your own jeans and push past them to see what’s going on.

As you enter a hallway by the doors, you see Robin running around a woman on the floor trying to assess her wounds as she tries to catch her breath.

“H-H-Harrington. I need…Harrington…”

When Steve steps through the crowd, her eyes widen as she forces herself off the floor and limps to him, collapsing in his arms as he catches her.

“Y-Your father…I escaped…I found…help…”

“I don’t understand.”

Swallowing in frustration, she extends her palm and hands him a crumbled-up piece of paper.

“C-C-Cure.”

His amber eyes widen as he twists his head to meet your own irises as your mouth falls open in shock behind the long-haired man who insisted on keeping you behind him to keep you safe.

The woman notices as her bottom lip trembles and extends her arm to reach for him.

“Eddie?”, she whispers.

The man scans her over again before kneeling beside his friend to take her hand in his.

“Mom?”, his voice cracks at the realization. “What…where have you—”

#########################

Muffled screaming is the first thing you hear as your eyes snap open and the pod door slowly slides out.

“Everything’s alright, Miss Y/N, I’m going to—no! Please don’t do this again!”

You ignore the nurse as you swing your legs over and promptly go on the hunt for Eddie. That feeling you had in the universe was still heavy in your heart; that worry for him as soon as he knelt down.

The people around you were crying and still trying to catch their bearings as nurses tried to calm them.

“Zombies were everywhere! They had us cornered!”

“My wife was trying to kill me!”

“I swear I could feel their teeth!”

A hand suddenly intertwined with yours, tugging you forward out of the room and down the hallway. Steve’s head was on a swivel as he searched for the other boy but you couldn’t take your eyes off him as that air of confidence from the other universe still seemed to cling to him as that rush of safety washed over you.

“Ed?”

At his soft worried tone, your gaze shifted as you both entered the dorms and saw the man before you pacing as his chest heaved in what looked like anger.

“Everything’s ok, Munson.”

“Everything is NOT ok.”, he growled. “Did you see her, Steven? She was in so much pain and needed help… and why was she talking about your dad?!”

“I-I don’t know. That’s not me and even if it was that Steve felt just as confused—”

“BULLSHIT!”, Eddie screamed as he lurched toward him and shoved him against the wall. “My uncle and dad worked for your father’s company in this universe! If Bill did something to her in that other one…”

“Eddie, I swear on my life, I have no idea what my father does with his business but I’m sure he wouldn’t be responsible for what happened to your mother.”

“What did happen?”, you ask making the long-haired boy jump, forgetting you were even there.

“She died…cancer…what was odd though was she had no family history of it.”, he rumbled as his angry eyes focused on Steve’s.

“So…this was the first time you saw here in a while…?”

The man’s voice shook as he answered your question.

“Since I was six…”

“Eddie…I don’t know much about either of you in this world but so far in both Steve’s father has been an asshole who abandoned his son. 2 for 2 says a lot…which makes me think that in this universe here, it’s most likely the same.” Steve’s eyes flutter slightly at your assessment as the other man’s grip around him loosens. “Whatever Bill Harrington is involved in…I don’t think he’d have his son help or know about it and not because he doesn’t want him to get in trouble.”

“My dad has told me numerous times I’d never live up to our name.”, the man whispers. “I’m so sorry, Ed. I swear if I knew anything I’d tell you. I’d have told you a long time ago.”

Eddie snickers as he steps back.

“When? When you were ignoring me or when your friends were calling me a freak? You always treated me like I was beneath you especially at school because only you rich pricks should have been there according to you. Us kids of employees should have been relegated to some cheap public school, remember?” Steve’s jaw tightens as his eyes flick to you before finding the boy’s again. “Which is why I don’t FUCKING UNDERSTAND why 2 for 2 you and I are friends and fucking THIS girl.”, he shouts as he gestures towards you.

“Don’t look at me. I don’t get it either.”, you growl as you fold your arms defiantly.

“You HAVE to know us or even one of us.”, Steve insists. “You come from money right? Have I seen you or something at a party or a charity thing? Anything?”

“First off, fuck you. Second, I don’t come from money. My father’s side does.”

“Our private school has your last name.”

“No, it has my great grandfather’s last name. That doesn’t mean I know you.”

“Jesus, you’re really fucking stubborn.”

“I don’t know why you’re quizzing me! I’m just as confused as you! Look, I just came in here to make sure Eddie was ok and now I regret it. This is why I didn’t want to make friends or whatever.”

“Because they die or leave?”

Your eyes narrow towards the long-haired boy as you glare his way.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. In both universes, you talked about your sister and how you were afraid of us leaving you. Whether that be through judgement or death. In the first one your boyfriend cheated and then in this one your ‘family’ kidnapped and scolded you for your choice. Is it the same in this universe? Are you afraid if you make friends with anyone you’ll end up alone again?”

“Fuck you, Eddie.”

“What happened to Kallie?”

“None of your fucking business!”

As you start to walk away, Eddie grabs your arm to pull you back and in return you smack him. He doesn’t say a word as his grip on your bicep slides to your wrist and his head hangs.

“I’m sorry. You’re right…it’s none of our business. Just…seeing my mom and then feeling everything that other Eddie felt.”

“I understand.”, you sigh as you lean your forehead on his. “It lingers…the feelings…”

“We never got an answer.”, Steve murmurs causing you both to look his way. “We asked you to marry us. That Steve seemed confident and smooth but he was really fucking nervous to ask you that.”

“So was Eddie. He…you made him feel like he wasn’t just a robot who could wield a gun. You gave him hope. Hope for a future that he struggled to believe in.”

As the feelings and their words overwhelmed you, you tried to leave again but his hand kept you in place and Steve came up behind you till his chest was against your back.

“Please, don’t go.”

Eddie’s shoulders shook as he began to cry and as your arms wrapped around him, he rested his face into the nook of your neck as he clung to you, holding you tightly to his chest.

###################

@baileebear @jasminelafleur @twirls827 @dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @starboygf @alba8688 @crybabyddl @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @utterlyinsanity @hardladyheart @yesimabratandwhataboutot @chelebelletx @season4steve @fic-lover-29

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werewolveswithdiaries · 3 days

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quite bpd is receiving a curse within an already cursed disorder. you will wholeheartedly consider that you are faking because you do not meet the criteria, as you are not manifesting the classic symptoms.

but quite bpd is way more than a page of the DSM-V with its 9 criteria diagnosis scheme

quite bpd is having a fearful avoidant attachment style. you do crave intimacy but you would never dare to ask for it. you deprive yourself of love because deep down you consider yourself unworthy of it

quite bpd is fastened images of violence in your imagination, but when you open your eyes and look at your hands and legs, you are still as a statue. nonetheless event after event, conflict after conflict, the anger remains repressed and ready to surface in explosive but rare fits of rage

quite bpd is endless social isolation. something de-clicked in your mind and distancing yourself from the world does not allow any abandonment, be it perceived or real

people pleasing comes as second nature to you, you wouldn’t handle rejection or disagreement so you do as your told not matter how inconvenient and inconsiderate it feels. you turned into a self sacrificing machine and the stop button broke long ago

quite bpd is looking at yourself in the mirror and hating what you see. the feelings of worthlessness consume you. you feel inadequate, broken. the hopelessness turns into self harm and suicidal ideation.

but you learnt how to mask all these struggles and sufferings so well. you excel at pretending to be fine, the facade of normality and happiness never falls off - you wouldn’t allowed it.

and the others will have no clue how you’re constantly on edge and at war at yourself.

and the words of invalidation you will tell yourself linger and you shrug it off - what to get help for if “i am fine”, right?

#actually borderline #actually bpd #tw depressing thoughts #ventcore #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd problems

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katerinaaqu · 1 day

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Zeus was following Justice by helping the Trojans, Hera was unaware and opposing (An Employing Ritual analysis based on Homer's Iliad)

So many people out there have read the first rhapsody/book of Iliad and many speak badly on how Zeus acts at the council or how he silences his wife with a threat, telling her to "stay put" or basically to...keep her mouth shut because that is his will. And then of course we have all the usual talk about mysogyny and all that stuff

I am not going to argue that indeed in ancient Greece equality beteween men and women was not a thing and absolutely if your husband nowadays told you to shut up and stay out of the way obviously in modern day ears sounds like the biggest red flag ever. Of course despite Homer writing some of the most powerful female characters ever in both their behavior and their position, he still reminds to his audience the marital duties of a wife through the behaviors of en in mythology. Of course no one can deny that indeed despite the fact that Hera is his co-regent she is inferior in power and position than her husband due to the laws of marital duties of that time. However it also needs to be noted how incredibly human the characters act; Zeus gets furious at the nagging of his wife (his wife opposes him before his family as well) so he loses it in anger and threatens her. Sounds like the average couple fight at a family dinner XD

However the analysis is not about the marital duties (or not entirely! Hehehe there will be a mention on Zeus's threat at the end of this analysis). Is what brought that fight to begin with and that would be Zeus's decision to listen to Thetis's request. Why is he following justice and why Hera even though she brings valid arguements is unaware of certain details? Okay bukcle up for this will be probably long;

The Employing Ritual and Thetis's Request

In ancient Greek literature we often see a ritual take place. It is quite similar to the customs of Xenia; a holy unwritten law that humans and gods alike obey which is the employing aka when you make a request of someone or when you beg someone to do something for you. Culturally the ritual seems to be going like this; an individual falls on the knees of the person they want to be their benefactor and they hug their knees while making their request. The request could be anything from a simple favor till sparing one's life in a desperate situation (For example see Helen doing that to Menelaus when she begs for her life, something I also memorize to my fanfiction , or Odysseus begging Circe to let them go from the island of Aeaea). In more formal occasions, the one making the request can also touch the chin or the person they employ to make their point even clearer

The power imbalance between two people is not necessary but of course by n large in mythology we see examples of the inferior in power person to beg a superior in power, like a commoner begging a king due to the fact that we usually have someone in a tough position that makes the request.

Then if someone needs to make a request, after finishing with the physical gesture, begins the verbal exchange. Usually the person in question brings up to their benefactor a favor they did for them before or try to appease to the person's feelings or both. So the request usually goes like this: "Please, if I ever did this good to you and you are good yourself and you respect the laws of the gods you shall do this favor for me" Then by n large, like it happens with the custom of Xenia, the benefactor has no real ability to refuse. In theory they can refuse the employing party but that would make them unjust to the eyes of the gods so by n large the benefactor knows that he has no way of refusing and he has the moral obligation to fulfill the request. Usually the benefactor finishes the exchange by promising to the employing party that they will do them the favor they request.

In the first Rhapsody of the Iliad, Thetis finds her son crying because he feels ashamed that Agamemnon removed his beloved price-woman Briseis from him and he wants revenge. He asks his mother to ask for Zeus to grant him that revenge and he tells her she should go and beg for it to him. Thetis obeys and flies to Olympus to find Zeus alone sitting on his throne.

And swiftly she sat close to him and she clasped his knees with her right hand while she touched him beneath the chin with the other and beggingly she spoke to Zeus son of Kronus the king: "Father Zeus, if I ever among the immortals have helped you with my words or my actions, fulfil me this wish; honor my son, who is destined by birth to die early, and still the king of men Agamemnon has dishonored him: by taking away his chosen price to have her himself. But you, Olympian Zeus, lord of council, honor him by granting victory to the Trojans till the Achaeans give back my son his honor"

(Translation by me)

So here Thetis basically uses all the tools she has. She starts by asking Zeus to remember her actions towards him, if she ever did something good, for him to remember it and then she transfers him her emotions; my son is destined to die young, she says (which ironically seems to be the case for Zeus himself since we know his own son Sarpedon is to die in battle in Troy, which is another interesting parallel created by Homer) and then she brings him before her wish; so that Zeus would grant victory to the Trojans in battle till the Greeks miss Achilles and give him back his honor. She even is essentially comparing Zeus to Agamemnon when she says "συ περ" ("but you") in one essence "Agamemnon has dishonored my son but you are different! You are just"

As we said before, not even gods can disobey the law of Cosmos! Zeus has no choice but to obey Thetis's request and grant her her wish. And it is clear that his bounding to her request doesn't give him pleasure. In fact Homer says that he stays completely still and silent. He is even processing in his mind what he can do on it because he has nothing personal against the Greeks. Thetis realizes his hesitation and she keeps holding onto his knees to make sure he knows they are still doing the ritual till he gives his response! In fact his hesitation is so long that Thetis needs to make her request a second time and this time she ups the game!

Give me your irrefutable promise and nod your head or refuse me, for I know there is nothing you are afraid of, I know very well out of all of you (here: the gods) I am the least honored!

(Translation by me)

Thetis here not only does she use an indirect threat (she implies that Zeus can refuse her because he is the king of gods. She basically says "sure you can refuse me this holy work. What do you have to be afraid of? You are the epitome of justice. Justice will not fall on your head!") and then she uses emotional manipulation. She basically says "oh sure dishonor me too! I am the least honored by all the gods so why not of you too?" To that Zeus is certain he cannot refuse her. In fact he already knew. However the fact that Thetis keeps pressing him he knows that there is no way around or toning her request down despite the fact that he, again, has no reason to do that to the Greeks and what is more he doesn't want to quarrel with his wife who is clearly helping the Greeks. In fact he calls her request "λοίγια ἔργα" ("sad work" or "wreched business") but he accepts. Because that is the just thing to do. And he nods his head to her.

But what favor was indeed Thetis insinuating here?

Achilles gives us the answer in the same rhapsody a few lyrics prior:

For I heard you many times at my father's palace bragging that only you came repell the shameful ruin of the son of Kronos, the lord of dark clouds, when the Olympians wanted to bind him; even Hera and Poseidon and Pallas Athena, but you arrived, goddess, and freed him from his binds, quickly calling the Hecatoncheir (one-hundred armed) whom the gods call Bariareon but all men call Aegaeon to tall Olympus, who is much greater in strength than his father and sat by the side of the son of Kronos, restoring his authority and the holy gods saw him and got scared.

(Translation by me)

So basically this grand favor that Thetis was referring to, for which she required her son's wish to be granted was Thetis coming to assist Zeus out of a coup that was staged by his own family! So there was absolutely no way that Zeus could refuse her by seer grattude alone yet alone now that he was the epitome of justice

Zeus follows his own laws.

Zeus is known for being the epitome of justice. The laws he imposes on humans by n large apply to him. He is setting an example as a ruler, as a god and as a king that he follows the very laws he establishes, making him just. Even if he himself doesn't agree or even if one should say the punishment towards all Greeks is unjust, Zeus must still follow his own rule, especially when Thetis employs him in the most official manner. Hera though does not follow the will of Zeus and chooses to not only disobey him and ride down with Athena at some point to assist the Greeks but also she does so by tricking and seducing Zeus to distract him and give an opening to the gods that assist the Greeks. Under this light it is HER actions that seem to be stopping justice (of course again one can argue that indeed it is unfair for the Greeks to suffer just because one king offended another) but by the laws of the Employing Ritual it was Zeus who was on the right.

However of course Hera either didn't know or she ignored the signs to it out of her love for the Greeks and so did Athena. And Zeus provided no information about Thetis and instead he chose to assert his dominance to the gods for his will instead.

Last but not least...

Why doesn't Zeus tell Hera who arrived on Olympus?

Zeus seems to avoid the fact that Thetis came to him even if Hera accuses him for it. Why then does he say that he helps the Trojans now "because he likes it" and he doesn't say he is bound by a promise? Some people correctly assume it is because he doesn't want to deal with her jealousy however there is a much deeper meaning to it. Sure it is Zeus we are talking about and surely he could speak out of seer authoritative nature just to say that no one has the right to tell him what to do and that his words are the law. It is possible but still no matter how someone sees it, he could have saved himself a lot of trouble if he had told Hera he is following a favor.

So why does he choose to simply show his dominance as a husband and not speak on justice? In my opinion that lies again to the reason why Thetis was there. She calls upon the return of a favor. But remember what the favor was? Thetis helped Zeus during a coup

Zeus doesn't bring it up because if he does bring Thetis up, he will also have to bring up his wife's treason!

Zeus doesn't seem eager to totally remind Hera of her act that is beyond simple jealousy or simply raising her voice at him. She had literally conspired with the gods to take him down! By that account alone she should be more severely punished than what she was. And all know that the gods received his pardon eventually when he restored order to the heavens. Somehow Zeus is unwilling to bring up the subject of treason because he doesn't want to bring the council of gods before such responsibilities again. He knows it is a done story, that he has offered his pardon and that the gods repented. He sees no reason to bring it up. By bringing the name of Thetis up and her favor, it would be bringing up the story of treason and that wouldn't just slide

Zeus actively chooses to assert his dominance as a husband and a father, rather than as a king and that in my opinion is not talked about enough. Yes in one way he humiliates Hera in front of all and Hera needs to be consoled by her son Hephestus but I feel like Zeus could easily have himiliated her as a traitor rather than a wife who spoke out of the line and that seems to me like a very much human emotion speaking in Zeus because yes, he doesn't like disobedience but at the same time he loves his wife and doesn't want to bring up her treason one more time.

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