#[ I wanna write him just... being 'vulnerable' without fear ]

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Hello! Sharing a longer bit from my fic This Infinite Love which is now fully posted on ao3 ❤️💚 I had so much fun writing this one and it was so amazing reading along with everyone’s comments all week 💕

After a year and a half of pursuing the why of Gabriel’s murder, he was finally ready to face the why of the pain. Gabriel was his dad. And Carlos realised that it wasn’t through solving his murder, or becoming an exemplary Ranger that he would continue his father’s legacy or make him proud. It was by being a good man, a generous and gracious husband, by prioritizing his family and building a good life. And, he told TK with a hopeful spark in his eye, by being brave. By being a good father to a little boy who desperately needed one.

TK knows that Carlos was scared, that despite coming to terms with everything his father was, he was still terrified of making the same mistakes and possibly causing more harm to a vulnerable little boy. But Carlos took to fatherhood naturally. His fear only made him more mindful, more sweet with both of them, more purposeful of prioritizing his family and holding up his promises.

He knows he would have taken Jonah in on his own if he had to, but this family wouldn’t be the same without Carlos.

Carlos, who is always coaxed into reading at least two extra stories when he tucks Jonah in at night, because he always reads them in the silly voices that Jonah adores.

Carlos, who lets Jonah ride around on his shoulders through the farmers market, the same one they’ve been going to almost every weekend since he and TK first started dating. The vendors they know by name, June, who provided the flower arrangements for their wedding, Marisol, who always gives Carlos an extra sample of her raspberry honey, and Maurice, who’s lamb rounds are the only cut of lamb Carlos will use for his carnitas, all love Jonah and have stickers and sweets for him when they stop by their booths.

Carlos, who spent an hour digging through boxes in his parents’ garage one afternoon after TK called him at work to tell him Jonah had the flu and that he’d been feeling so rotten he was practically inconsolable. He came home with Kique, his old stuffed koala, and put on a little puppet show in Jonah’s room until he fell asleep.

TK Strand is living a full, beautiful life. And it’s due in no small part to the man that’s walking through it by his side.

Later, when Jonah has gone up to brush his teeth before he and Carlos head out, TK corrals Carlos in the foyer where he’s just finished packing up his work satchel and pulling his boots on. He hands Carlos Jonah’s lunchbox and leans in for a kiss.

“You remind me of him, you know,” he says softly when he pulls back from their kiss, running a hand lightly over Carlos’s hair. He still gels his curls back for work, but since he wears the cowboy hat with his Rangers uniform, TK doesn’t have to be quite so careful not to mess it up as he did back when he was working as a patrol officer.

“Babe,” Carlos says, eyes going dark and shiny.

“It’s true,” TK says, cupping Carlos’s cheek with a soft hand. “It’s in the way you love us, the little ways you take care of us.” He moves his hand down to Carlos’s chest and rubs over his heart. “You’re an amazing man, an incredible father. He’s proud of you, I know it.”

“Thank you, baby,” Carlos replies, voice rough and eyes soft with fondness.

“You don’t have to thank me,” TK says, leaning up for another kiss, quicker this time. He knows they’ve got seconds before Jonah comes flying back into the room. “I always wanna make sure you know. You’re everything to me, to us. And we love you very much. I don’t know what we would do without you.”

“I love you too. You are both so precious to me.” Carlos smiles, grabbing TK’s hand and cradling it between their chests. “And you’ll never have to find out. I’m not going anywhere.”

The sound of little feet pattering across the hardwood floor is all the warning they get before Jonah is upon them.

“Are you KISSING?” he shouts.

“Not anymore,” TK mutters under his breath, causing Carlos to laugh and playfully flick the side of his head before he turns his attention to Jonah.

Read on ao3

Thank you for the tags @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses @nisbanisba @carlossreaders @everlastingday 💕

Tagging: @annoyingcloudearthquake @henrygrass @paperstorm @thisbuildinghasfeelings @ironheartwriter @whatsintheboxmh @orchidscript @the-126-family @bonheur-cafe @firstprince-history-huh @hereghostslive @eclectic-sassycoweyes @emsprovisions @iboatedhere @alrightbuckaroo @captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @ladytessa74 @chicgeekgirl89 @literateowl @laelipoo @welcometololaland @basilsunrise @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @freneticfloetry @sapphic--kiwi @herefortarlos @filet-o-feelings @tinyluminaryzombie @kiwichaeng @guardian-angle22 @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @never-blooms @decafdino @certifiedflower @irispurpurea and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[captainseamech]

All jokes aside... High Tide knows he needs to take care of himself more, but he just doesn’t know how to do it or who to reach out to. Due to how he was treated before, he mostly sees himself as the ‘stoic figure that doesn’t deserve / need help or reassurance from anyone that isn’t.’ Is this a toxic way of thinking? Yes, but sadly, that’s what he believed to be true but never voices it out ever, because he knows people have their sheer amount of problems to deal with and thinks he shouldn’t bother them with his ‘useless ramble / crying out loud.’ Of course, he might shortly talk it out, but never go too deep into that topic to prevent himself from speaking more than he should.

If someone, anyone even, is willing to let him know it’s okay to vent about his problems... He’ll absolutely shatter, like a mask made out of the strongest material possible somehow finding it had a weak spot and falling apart all at once. High Tide never thought that a mech as old as he was needed comfort, needed to be heard, needed to know how to properly let go... He always struggled with his own feelings, but he will be absolutely helpless and weak if he was allowed to let it all out.

His main problem, aside from everything that surrounded him, is regarding death. Not the concept of it, but the fact people around him died a lot of times in the past, people he knew, people he was friends with... and people he loved, too. Falling to pieces and offlining all around him either because they got caught by war... or by his own hands, in a way or another. Guilt surrounds him everyday, every time, non-stop in his mind. Remorse constantly stabbing him in his spark, a tiny voice in his processor making him feel like an irredeemable monster for being such a strong being capable of murdering each and everyone.

High Tide is strong. High Tide is very strong, even. A soldier, an experienced captain, a mentor, a mech that can get what he wants when he wants, a mech that can easily shield anyone and take a large amount of damage to protect those in need.

And yet... all it takes to break him, is someone with good intentions asking “are you okay?” with the sweetest and calmest of voices.

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 3

I wasn't gonna write about the expressions this week but then I got all my Fort-induced crazy out and had a meal and came to my senses, so I decided to write about them this week and every week.

Won't always be in depth like the last one but I do wanna point them out because as @prapaiwife said, Fort and Peat's acting deserves to be appreciated.

This scene is shadowy as all hell but there's just enough light to appreciate the faces that Mut is pulling in this scene. There's a mixture of annoyance and frustration here. He's narrowing his eyes, he's pursing his lips and setting his jaw a little bit. But it also looks like he's trying not to smile and there's a sparkle in his eyes that tells me he's enjoying seeing Tongrak get pissy.

That's the face of a brat tamer if I've ever seen one.

I also loved seeing how Tongrak got all smiley and fondly amused when Mut said he was beautifully handsome.

But then there's this smile after he tells Mut about his family. It's sad and resigned and doesn't reach his eyes. It's different from the last one, and Mut can see that, which is why he tells Tongrak not to smile like that. We're not done talking about this man and smiling but hold that thought, we'll come back to it here in a sec.

This look and the quickness with which Tongrak says no when Mut asks him if he wants to try love break my heart. There's more resignation there and something else, too. Certainty of heartbreak or maybe just plain old fear.

I, too, am struck dumb when I see Fort's smiling face Tongrak's just like me fr.

It's the shift from soft, open vulnerability to sheer annoyance for me. It's a face that says, "this infuriating man is so fucking annoying, I have to fucking kiss him about it fuck him" and I love it. This kiss also made me think of @chicademartinica and her love of tropical eroticism.

We can't see Mut's eyes here but that same sentiment applies to this face, too.

I love the look Tongrak gets when people say nice things about Mut. He may not realize it--or admit it if he did--but he's so fond of Mut already.

I have nothing insightful to say about these expressions, I just wanna make ya'll appreciate the mole Fort has on that giant fucking arm of his and how normal I've been about it this whole time.

Also more stretch marks. But we're getting off track.

Look at the face Mut makes when he realizes Tongrak's gonna be leaving in a couple of days. He looks crushed. You can tell that up until now, he hasn't really thought about Tongrak eventually going back home.

And Tongrak hasn't thought about it either. You can see him mentally going through his calendar. Neither of them have thought about it, but they both know exactly when he's going to leave and neither of them look happy about it.

Mut says "could you not leave?" without thinking and Tongrak is very obviously surprised but that's all it is. Surprise without anything negative attached to it. And maybe a teeny bit of hope?

He tries to play it off as a joke but Tongrak doesn't let him. He just says "try asking me". Something about his tone and the way he's looking at Mut and stroking his hair and his face really made me feel the difference in their ages. Tongrak looks and sounds so patient and gentle.

I love how often Tongrak's face answers before he does. He was always going to say yes but I like that he told Mut to try asking and teases him a little bit to get him there. Sometimes we have to be brave and find the words and ask for what we want so it'll be given to us. That's how good communication works.

I don't know about anyone else, but I could practically hear Tongrak thinking, "I'm sorry you had to grow up so fast and alone."

Seeing Mut be giddy and shy for the first time since we met him and seeing unabashed joy on Tongrak's face for the first time since we met him are two of my favorite things about this episode.

Making Mut ask Tongrak to stay wasn't about ego or being a brat, it was about a man who doesn't believe in love wanting to hear that his presence was wanted and a man who isn't used to receiving things without offering something in exchange being told that he doesn't have to change who he is in order to be given what he wants and that he's loved appreciated exactly the way he is.

[cannibalbuffe]

hi! I've honestly been craving some qpr headcanons with Alastor as someone who's also aroace! The concept piques my curiosity so much considering most of the stuff with him is purely romantic (no offense to those writers, I just wanna see more qpr stuff! :])

Of course! But do forgive me, annon, I got so carried away with this 😅. I just really like Alastor a lot.

I ended up writing some backstory to your relationship first, but I highlighted the start of the proper qpr headcanons if you feel like skipping that.

Obligatory I'm sorry if this is ooc, I'm still getting used to writing about these characters. This is also all based on my own perception of him.

(Also, I am aware that qprs are very different from one another and there is no single mold for a qpr, I'm just going off of what I think it would be like with Alastor.)

Uhh, I also finished this at 1 AM, so forgive any mistakes. And I'm pretty sure I changed the verb conjugations(? Is this how you say that in English?) from present to past at some point. Sorry. Enough with the A/Ns now. Hope you enjoy!

Alastor queerplatonic relationship headcanons

(gender neutral reader, Alastor x reader)

‼️Trigger-warning‼️: mentions of cannibalism (not graphic), a single mention of tongue-kissing and making out (spoiler: he doesn't want either of those things in this work.) Usage of the word queer, but not as a slur. Alastor is a grandpa and you have to explain LGBTQ+ stuff to him, but he gets it.

› At first, before you were close, it's likely that he didn't see you as an equal.

› Truly, in his eyes, it seems not really is his equal. He is the most powerful overlord in hell and he knows it.

› Unless you are someone he holds in high regard (and this is mostly based on vibes, barely anything to do with power, as we can see by how he is with Lucifer of all people) before your first meeting, like Zestial, you won't be on equal footing at first.

› You only really start getting close when his perception of you shifts.

› You respect his boundaries, you are interesting, you and him share quite a few interests (or not really, but you're at least interested in hearing about his), and you're, surprisingly, pretty wise and mature.

› And caring. I personally believe he would be drawn to that in a way that he may not even understand fully- or realize it at all.

› Still, the point is. He respects you, and you respect him.

› (And not in the way some others do, where they're only "respectful" out of fear. You would act like this regardless of his power.)

› This, by the way, is important. You don't treat him like a superior, but as an equal.

› You'd think someone like him would love to be treated like a superior, and it's true. He very much does.

› But he has to admit to himself that it does feel nice whenever someone isn't shaking in their boots and can hold really good conversations with him while still not being pushy, annoying or just generally disrespectful.

› Anyways.

› Ever since you became friends (which took long), one could say, you just kept becoming closer and closer.

› You were the first one to be vulnerable with him, of course. It happened on accident, but you trusted him enough for that.

› You were also the first one to share any more intimate information with him. Something you wouldn't tell just anyone.

› Between this, your conversations, and maybe even helping each other around (honestly, he probably helps you more than you do him, but you always offer it and always in a sweet way, never condescending, and he appreciates that.)

› He eventually felt more comfortable sharing personal things with you too.

› (He may have distanced himself a bit when he realized this, but it was short-lived. You can't be without each other for so long, and you were pretty upset at his suddenly withdrawal. You may not have mentioned it to him, but he could tell, and as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt him to see you sad because of him.)

› This marks the beginning of the path toward your queerplatonic relationship.

› I mean, you didn't initially label it as such, but it definitely started there.

› Surprisingly, I feel like the first one to ever do any sort of affectionate gesture towards the other was him.

› You knew he didn't like to be touched, so you didn't.

› But! He just started getting more and more comfortable with touching you. At first it was hands on your shoulders, or putting his arm over them.

› I can even see a head pat or two, which he probably passed off as some sort of joke the first few times, but, if you liked them so much, just became a thing he does to you.

› And then one day you, completely absent-mindedly, intertwined your arm with his while walking around.

› When you noticed you had done it and he hadn't said anything, you questioned him about it.

› "Alastor, I'm sorry I didn't ask... is this alright?"

› "This?... Oh, you mean the arms? Ah, dear, don't worry, if it weren't I would have simply told you so!"

› From them on you only got more and more physically affectionate with each other. At first you would usually be the one to start it, but eventually you were both shockingly equal in doing so.

› (You still would always ask if you could touch him beforehand, but after a while he just gave you a free-pass.)

› Not a lot in public, though. Mostly just hand holding, or intertwining arms (if in public, that is.)

› Alastor also was so protective of you. You were the person he treasured most, after all.

› Well, demon.

› Even if you told him you were going to be okay, he would watch out nonetheless. He couldn't afford to lose you, not when he's never trusted and cared for a person this much.

› You two also cuddle a lot. You were the first one to ask, as usual, but now both of you feel weird sleeping alone.

› Alastor loves being the big spoon, if you're doing that.

› But he is also quite fond of occasionally being the little spoon, although he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it.

› A hobby you two do together is cooking. Cooking with Alastor is fun... especially if you're okay with cannibalism.

› But if you don't like that, he won't insist, of course.

› He's pretty good at cooking, though! If you're also good at it, then great. If not, he'll tease you about it (in a friendly way), but still teach you.

› On teasing, he teases you quite a bit, but never in a mean way. If you don't mind, of course.

› You also may tease him occasionally, but he doesn't appreciate you teasing him in public.

› The two of you also have a good amount of inside jokes that probably confuse the hell out of the others.

› Kissing... well. I don't really see Alastor as the type who would enjoy kissing on the lips too much.

› Tongue is out of question for him, as well as any sort of making out, but otherwise... if you like it, he can do that for you.

› He might actually like a peck or two. An acquired taste for him. Don't overdo it, though.

› Of course, him being from the 1930s and not very familiar with anything LGBTQ+ related, he would, at first, be somewhat confused by the request.

› You would probably have to explain to him that nothing is inherently romantic, especially not if you don't want it to be.

› "A kiss on the lips? Well... we aren't courting, Y/n."

› "We can put our own meanings to things, though. Would you like this kiss to be romantic?"

› "Definitely not!"

› "Well, me neither. So it's not!"

› "... That is very sound logic! I can't believe I've never thought of this myself."

› Kisses on the rest of the face are something else, though. He does enjoy it whenever you kiss him on the cheek. He himself might occasionally kiss you on the forehead.

› But overall I don't think he's big on kissing.

› If you want to really solidify that you're in a queerplatonic relationship you'd also have to explain what that means to him, sorry.

› Again, he's old and not up to date with things.

› Thankfully he understands things easily.

› "I see... I suppose we do have quite the queer relationship, don't we? And it is certainly platonic. I don't see why not!"

› Going back to vulnerability. It will never feel fully natural for him to just be vulnerable with you — or anyone else, for the matter.

› (In case you couldn't tell, he's using the word queer as meaning odd (and doing a little pun. You know. Because it's a. Queerplatonic relationship. Queer. Hehehehe), as it defies the norm of what a platonic relationship usually looks like, despite being one.)

› But you know him well enough at this point to recognize whenever there's something going on with him.

› And if you show concern and give him enough time he will share whatever it is with you.

› If it's not anything too big he might even reach out to you first.

› He can also read you like a book and gives surprisingly good advice, and is also pretty good at comforting you.

› You are the only person allowed at his studio while he's live on the radio. You usually read as he speaks in the background, his voice is very relaxing. He enjoys having you around.

› He's also particularly gentlemanly to you, more than to the others. When you're with him you never have to open a single door yourself, for one. If it's raining, he'll hold the umbrella for the two of you. When walking together on the sidewalk, he's always on the side closest to the street instead of you.

› You two often go out for dinner. If you also fancy some cannibalism, he will definitely show you his favorite restaurants around. If not he will just pick the best non-cannibal places (but you know those are not his favorites, haha.)

› He just cares about you a lot, even if it took him long to admit (it may have seemed fast-paced during this, but Alastor is someone who really takes long to get close to.)

› And you care about him lot too!

› (And you're probably never going to be in a life-threatening situation again, at least not at the hands of most demons. Who would ever want trouble with Alastor?)

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Hi! I just saw that you’re doing obx fix’s now and I’m so happy! I was wondering if you could do one with cg!Rafe Cameron and a little!reader, where the reader stayed up all night playing and they are very sleepy. If you can, could you make it very cute and fluffy?

It’s totally fine if you can’t write it!

Btw, I love your fics!

˚. ❝₊˚ 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 ❞ ˚₊·

» rafe cameron x reader

» a/n: ah sorry this got a tad angsty, i swear i can’t write rafe without it turning angst *stares at all my wips with him*

» warnings: slight angst, rafe being insecure, pet names

“Here you go sweetheart.” Rafe smiles as he slides a plate of pancakes over to you from the other side of the island in the tannyhill kitchen. You rub at your eyes and nod in thanks, still tired from not going to bed when you were supposed to last night but waking up at your normal time.

“You okay?” There’s already a furrow of worry in Rafe’s brow, his voice soft but concerned in full. It’s always been easy to tell when Rafe gets worried about you, his go-to emotion with anyone else is anger but with you it’s different, you get his vulnerable side.

“I’m tired.” You huff and stare at the cut up pancakes on your plate, feeling slightly guilty for not eating them when Rafe had spent the morning cooking for you.

“I guess you did go to bed pretty late last night, you don’t have to eat if you don’t want to.” Rafe assures and plucks the plate from its place in front of you, slipping it into the fridge and instead pulling out a reusable bottle of water he keeps on hand for you. You don’t know when the bottle got bought or what prompted Rafe to get you your own bottle instead of just grabbing one from the cabinets, but you won’t ask, there’s no need to, the fact that he did it is more than enough.

“Do you wanna go lay on the couch? We can watch a movie, have a chill day.” Despite how nonchalant Rafe is trying to sound, you can tell he’s studying your every move to see if something else is wrong or if he’s the one doing something wrong.

He’s been hesitant about taking care of you in certain ways, always checking to make sure that you’re okay, second guessing things under his own anxiety that he’s messed it up, trying to do things perfectly in fear of you leaving and finding a new caregiver because he slipped up. It’ll never be the case and you’ve told Rafe both when little and big that you don’t care if things are perfect, you just want him, in any way shape or form. You think in the past few months he’s been getting better at accepting what you say as truth, but times like this you can see the insecurities poking through.

“Yeah, movie.” Once you have the bottle of water securely in your hands, Rafe comes to scoop you onto his hip. You happily take the physical contact and lean your cheek onto his chest, breathing in his familiar pine scented cologne and snuggling against the soft sleep shirt he still has on.

“The normal?” He asks and sits down on the couch without putting you down, content to hold you throughout the movie- and if he’s being honest it’ll be easier to put you down on a bed if you fall asleep this way, avoids the risk of waking you up by picking you up.

“Yeah.” Your favorite movie is already queued up on the Tv, as it has been since the second week of Rafe stepping in as your caregiver, it’s a small detail but it always makes you smile.

“You can go to sleep, little one.” His hand reaches to lay on the back of your head, thumb rubbing back and forth against your hair as you nod along.

It doesn’t take long for your eyes to slip shut and for Rafe to pull a blanket from the back of the couch around your shoulders. You can feel how he relaxes against the back of the couch once you’ve sunk farther into his chest, finally accepting that being tired really was the only issue. You find it fascinating how expressive Rafe’s body language can be without him knowing, how much him being calm makes you calm, how your body naturally leans into his when you know he needs it and that he subconsciously does the same. It’s a comfort you don’t find with other people, you cherish it with Rafe even if it is just the two of you falling asleep on the couch for an afternoon.

[pitinthelanepages]

when not enough

pairing: charles lecerc x reader

summary: when you're not enough for him, no matter how hard you try.

genre: angst

The room fell into an uneasy stillness, shadows dancing restlessly as Charles mustered the courage to shatter his world. Your heart raced, anticipation and dread intertwining within your chest, as you braced yourself for the words that would change everything. A heaviness settled upon your shoulders, threatening to crush your spirit as Charles took a hesitant step forward.

"Love, we need to talk," Charles spoke, his voice tinged with a mixture of regret and uncertainty. His hands trembled, fingers fumbling for words that seemed just out of reach. The gravity of his admission hung in the air, a fragile thread threatening to sever their bond.

Confusion etched itself upon your face, eyes searching his for answers you feared you already knew. "You wanna break up, don’t you? But… why?" you implored, your voice quivering with vulnerability. "Have I done anything wrong?"

Charles' gaze met yours, the depths of his eyes mirroring the inner turmoil he grappled with. "It's not about what you've done or haven't done," he confessed, his voice heavy with the weight of unspoken truths. "I've lost sight of myself, lost touch with who I am. I need time to find my way back."

Tears welled in your eyes, threatening to spill over as his words pierced your heart. A torrent of emotions crashed upon you, the overwhelming surge of love and devotion intertwining with a sense of abandonment. You had loved him relentlessly, unable to fathom a life without him. The thought of not being enough left you feeling as if your world had crumbled.

"I just wanted to be enough for you," you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of pain and longing. Every ounce of your being had been poured into your relationship, your unwavering love an offering you believed would bridge any divide. You had bent and contorted yourself to fit the mould he desired, sacrificing your own dreams and aspirations in the process.

Tears streamed down your cheeks, your voice choked with sorrow as you continued, "I loved you unconditionally, Charles. I couldn't imagine a future without you. But now... now I'm left feeling worthless, as if all my efforts were in vain."

Charles reached out, his hand desperate to bridge the growing chasm between you two, but you pulled away, heart too fragile to bear any more wounds. Your tear-filled eyes met his gaze, a mix of love and shattered dreams reflected in your expression. "You know what’s the scariest realisation? I don't know who I am without you," you confessed, your voice a fragile whisper. "But I guess I will find my way. I will have to find the parts of me I lost in the pursuit of our love."

With that, you turned and walked away, your steps heavy with the weight of heartbreak and resilience. The room fell into a deafening silence, the remnants of your love echoing in the empty space. And as Charles watched your retreating figure, the magnitude of his decision weighed upon him, a painful realisation of the love he had left behind.

But it was too late. The damage had been done, your paths forever diverging, and all that remained were the fragments of a love that once burned brightly, now lost amidst the tangle of broken promises and shattered hearts.

a/n: if you've read my works before, you'll notice this writing style is different. yes i tried something new. though writing this was a pain in the ass, hope you enjoyed it!

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 7

CW: a good amount of angst, reader finally is letting neteyam in and realizing how she does truly love him too, physical contact, neteyam suffering while holding back from mating w/ reader, mentions of sex, yearning, sexual language, reader and neteyam acting like a cute couple, playful flirting, reader is more vulnerable with neteyam, a lot of fluff, reader feels guilty about the way she's been treating neteyam. Tell me if I'm missing something important!

Sorry for taking long to update, my angels 🥺🤍 unfortunately I'm going through a tough path in my personal life rn and bc of that I fell on a horrible depressive episode that I'm still on. So, my motivation to do stuff is very low at the moment and as I have to deal with my adult responsibilities that I can't run from bc nobody can, rn the best I'm able to do is focus the tiny bit of energy I have onto getting them done. I won't be able to update my fanfics as fast as I used to for some time. Can't say how long, it's not under my control currently, sorry :( But I LOVE writing, it's a great escape for me, from life problems and stuff, so, I really do not plan on stop writing fanfiction. I promise! Don't worry too much. Some of the upcoming chapters of this fanfiction, for example, are already saved on my Google Docs. I'll take longer but I won't stop updating. Anyway, I'm a tiny bit (ok maybe much more than that lol) insecure about this chapter but I hope y'all like it. Seeing your comments about the fic would make me incredibly happy. I'm needing some serotonin right now 🥲 Thanks for reading my writings ♡

Not proofread. Sorry if some parts are a bit messed up. I'll proofread it as soon as I can <3

Chapter 6

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

(...)

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Back to December (Taylor Swift)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You inclined yourself slowly and sheepishly in Neteyam's direction, still feeling guilty for the way you had been treating him before. Neteyam sensed your self doubt and quickly swept you off your feet, taking you inside his arms, so he could finally get the hug he had been dying for, so he could finally feel your small body against his bigger one. His big hands were now under your thighs, securing you in place against his warm body. That closeness, his touch… it all felt incredibly good. You cursed yourself for pushing him away and postponing that moment. To think you could have felt that before and you didn't… "Stupid girl" you thought.

You were now really far from the ground but you felt safe. Now you knew Neteyam would always protect you. He would not let you fall and get hurt. He was not and had never been a threat to you. There was not and there never was any reason for you to be afraid of him.

"Oeyä yawne…" (my beloved) "You feel so soft and tiny… Eywa… Nga yawne lu oer" (I love you) His voice was choked with emotion as he held back tears of joy while he hugged you as tight as he was able to - without hurting you - and you rested your head upon his shoulder. Your nose was hovering over his neck and you sniffed his skin, smelling his natural, cozy scent. It was intoxicating, drawing you in, making you wanna stay like that forever. 

You breathed in deep and relaxed inside his huge arms that held you for the first time but still strangely felt like home, like you had felt them around you a thousand times already. If you believed in past lives - which you didn't - you'd explain this odd but amazing feeling as you having found your soulmate again, in this current life. There was no fear of Neteyam inside of you anymore. You only yearned for more and more of him, only a burning affection kept your whole being warm, just like his massive body did too.

"There's still something I need to ask of you, if this is gonna work out between us." You said, breaking the hug for a while to look him in the eye

"Say it, yawne."

Neteyam was still so utterly happy that he did not even seem to be shaken by that, which he could have been

"You know why I pushed you away. First of all, finding out an alien double your size has been stalking you is freaking unnerving." You still gazed into his eyes, wanting him to pay attention to your words "Second, you acted like a creep. At least compared to the way human guys act around girls they're interested in. I don't really have any experience dating na'vi boys, you know?" You choked a little as you were trying hard to hold back laughter

"Ouch…" Neteyam playfully pretended to be extremely hurt by your previous statements. He chuckled "In my defense, I'd say my instincts are to blame, not me, exactly." You gave him a death stare, but in a playful manner too "When I saw you, I knew you would be the perfect mate for me and I had to make you mine. Everything about you rubbed me just the right way."

You smiled. He was being silly and so sweet. You just could not resist it.

"By the way, when did you see me for the first time?" 

Neteyam seemed to get shy after that question. You wondered why.

"I fell in love with you while you were in your Avatar body, yawntu. That's when I first saw you." Neteyam looked up at you again, smiling but showing no teeth

"You what?" You questioned him, a bit shocked but you could not bring yourself to be mad at him, though. Imagining him hiding behind trees and up in branches to watch you silently seemed adorable in your eyes, now. 

And yes, you knew it sounded crazy, to find someone who used to literally stalk you adorable, but nobody said that anything that was happening to you right now made any sense. Not even you would try to.

"How did I never notice you were around?" You shook your head in disapproval of your distraction back in the forest.

What if it had been a na'vi who did not trust you a single bit to even let you Dreamwalk freely, without grabbing you by the arm and taking you to the Olo'eyktan and the Tsahìk? Some na'vi hated humans to that point. And, as you always said and always would say, you had a great empathy towards them and could imagine yourself feeling the same way if you were na'vi. You could never bring yourself to judge them as harshly as way too many humans did. You knew they were not the villains of the story. But still, what if that na'vi tried to hurt you? You felt tense at the thought.

Neteyam noticed your uneasiness and tried to calm you.

"Don't worry, yawne. I'm a great warrior. A big part of being a good warrior is being really focused on one's mission and knowing how to get by as unnoticed as possible. So many other humans in their Avatars and even many, many na'vi wouldn't notice me, either."

Neteyam still wanted to call those other humans "demons in false bodies" but he was not going to. He knew it would hurt you and make you feel like he was talking about you too. But he was not. Whenever he had called you "demon", it never meant the same thing as it would mean if he was talking about any other human. But he knew it would be hard for you to understand. So he promised himself that he would never call you "demon" again. After that eclipse night when the both of you were talking in front of your bedroom window, he realized how much it hurt you when he called you that. He hated himself for bringing you pain. And his heart hurt so badly when he thought about the possibility of you pushing him away again. It made him want to hold onto your small, frail body tightly and say "Please, don't leave me! I can't be without you again… Please…"

"If you say so… I still think I should've been more careful, though." You say, still feeling a little nervous and thinking that maybe you had not been the best student when attending to your classes about na'vi behavior and that maybe you didn't pay enough attention to warnings they may have given about being mindful of your surroundings when Dreamwalking 

"I promise it's okay. It was not your fault, yawntu. I'm just good at what I do." His smile clearly showed he was proud of being a good warrior

"Ok, then." You smiled back at him and the both of you laughed a bit.

Suddenly, he stopped smiling and his gaze dropped to your lips, that were not that far from his own lips, if it wasn't for that damn oxygen mask. You felt like he wanted to kiss you. The moment was awkward but in a good way. He could not kiss you with the mask on, so, instead, he smiled at you once again and looked down at the floor, bashful.

You touched his huge, gorgeous face and he looked up at you again "So, about what we were talking about before… Just try to be a little less… upfront about what you feel for me. I mean… sexually. I love that you want me this much because I want you too, Neteyam. A lot, actually. You're… really freaking hot." He smiled, blissful, and his cat-like eyes sparkled as he heard that, his ears perking up. "But you're a bit too much, at times. If you could just tone it down a bit…" Neteyam looked a little ashamed and insecure, so, you rubbed your thumb on his soft skin, to reassure him you still longed for him too "At least while I get used to your na'vi nature, it would be great. Please, try to understand me… It's a whole new world I'm just now discovering. But it doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want you and it doesn't mean you should feel insecure." You smiled gently, showing no teeth. 

Neteyam looked a bit sad again after you finished your sentence and you totally understood why. In his na'vi mind, you were practically rejecting him. That was who he truly was, animalistic and a bit too much to your human standards. He must feel like who he is was not enough or good in your eyes.

"Hey" You cupped his face again "I wanna do something. Just let me take this mask off, first." You wanted to reassure Neteyam of your feelings for him by giving him a kiss.

"Yawne, no! You can't breathe without it. You could die really fast! I'm not gonna let you do it."

"So you don't want a kiss, Neteyam Suli? I thought you'd want it, judging by the way you have been stalking me and by our interaction that night, outside my bedroom's window." You teased him and his face lit up

Neteyam gave you an excited smile. The way his full lips curled up as he quickly pondered about the pros and cons of your offer was so beautiful, almost hypnotizing.

God, you really were in love with that na'vi boy, weren't you? There's no going back now. He's holding your heart in his big, weird but cute, alien hands.

"I guess if we make it quick-"

"Shut up, Neteyam." You interrupted, chuckling playfully "I know you're dying to feel my lips on yours. Just help me take this mask off already." It was a bit hard for you to take the mask off while holding onto his shoulders. You knew he would not let you fall but still you wanted to still feel a bit of control and keep holding onto him too.

Neteyam got surprised by your boldness, since he did not see it coming, and he could only think about how freaking amazing it would feel to finally taste your lips, so, he did as you asked - leaving the mask hanging on your neck by the strap it had - and you rapidly held his big pretty, blue face, brought your lips to his and placed the most tender of kisses there, pressing your mouth against his mouth softly but with so much care, trying to let him feel how much you desired him too. His lips were velvety, warm and so incredibly good to kiss. God, you did not care that you were risking dying from lack of oxygen. You wanted that alien boy so badly.

Neteyam's still tense demeanor soon turned into a calmer one as he kissed you back. His hold on you got tighter as he felt your sweet soft lips on his. He felt so incredibly hungry for you. How could he not be? Your kiss was the most delicious thing he had ever felt in his whole life. You both shared saliva and wet each other's lips with each time your lips parted only slightly and came together again. Your soft skin made him want to squeeze you and never let you go again. Neteyam wanted to cuddle with you, wanted to wrap his tail around your small body in a possessive way to let you know you're his and that he would take care of you, hunt food to feed you and protect you from anything that could ever hurt you.

It was getting harder and harder for him not to lay you on the ground and press his body against your tiny one and make love to you right there but he knew that, thinking rationally, that was not a good idea at all, as the both of you were just outside a laboratory full of humans and you two could easily get caught and be in danger.

Even though Neteyam craved your body insanely, now even more than before, as he was finally feeling you close and tasting your lips, he was trying to take it as slow and gentle as he could because he wanted to respect your limits instead of scaring you away again. He understood you were human and your race acted in a very different way when it came to relationships. He still thought it to be a dumb way to lead things but it was you who was asking him to act differently and he loved you with his whole being. He could not bring himself to say "no" to that request. He knew it would be temporary and you soon would give into the na'vi that lives inside of you when it came to mating too. For you, Neteyam could wait. He knew things would soon change for the better. You were now in his arms, as the two of you kissed. You were no longer afraid of him. That was everything he needed at that moment. Things were already so much better.

Neteyam noticed you were having more and more trouble breathing, so he got worried and quickly put your oxygen mask back on.

You gasped for air and breathed in so much oxygen once you had your mask on that it might have been funny to watch, though Neteyam did not laugh. On the contrary, he seemed way too serious, way too worried about your safety. You wanted him to relax a bit.

"See how much I love you? I risked dying just to give you a kiss." You tried to speak normally but what came out of your mouth was a hoarse whisper instead, as your lungs were still in need of more air. A weak smile was adorning your lips as you struggled but still managed to let out a frail chuckle

"Don't say that, oeyä tawtute, please." Neteyam told you, trying to stay serious but still letting out a chuckle as well

"See the sacrifices I make for you, Neteyam?" You tried to seem mad at him at the beginning, only to start laughing shortly after, now that you finally had enough oxygen in your system to be able to let out an actual laugh, even if it still sounded weaker than your laughing would sound in another situation

He smiled big and teased you "Skxawng." (moron)

"But you love me." You closed your eyes while smiling, full of yourself

"I do." You opened your eyes to look at his face "More than you think, yawntu."

Your heartbeat accelerated intensely and you blushed. Neteyam found your blushed cheeks adorable. He looked at you so intensely, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world in his arms.

Neteyam knew he had just fallen even harder for you now that you both had kissed. He could not wait until he could be alone with you in a safe place and get to explore your body with his hands and kiss you all over. He almost got hard just thinking about that but he tried his hardest to whoosh that away. Neteyam was scared that feeling his bulge would be too much for you at that moment, specially since he knew he was much bigger than the human males you were used to. You might feel uncomfortable because of that difference and the sudden intimate feeling of his hard big cock against you and want to get out of his arms. Neteyam did not want that to happen. He needed you there a bit more, he was not ready to let you stand on your feet yet. And he was so afraid of you not wanting him close anymore, he was so afraid of perhaps ruining what you both had now. It was far too special for him. He could not let his sexual instincts ruin that. The time would come when you would let him in completely, when you would grant him permission to be inside of you and show you how much he craved your pussy, how much you messed with his head and awakened his most intense desires. Until then, he would wait and take baby steps. For you, he was capable of waiting for ages, though he hoped so strongly it would not take long.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@kitsunefirewail

@tumblingdevils

@a-blog-name-2003

@xylobee

@nerdybouquetofkittens-blog

@henhouse-horrors

@lala-1516

@xylianasblog

@samistars

@crazy4books1

@explosiongamora

@lik0

@your-girl-mj

@darktyrantwinner

@sereisstuff

@yeosxxx

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@iman-lu

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@im-in-a-pansexual-panik

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@ellabellabus07

@badbishsblog

@neteyamsmate4life

@c-h-i-l

@criticallybella

@celi-xxmoon

[ohbo-ohno]

Serial killer AU and the contrast between how Ghoap treat us and other victims. Maybe they're holding our friend group hostage in the basement, and every day we're forced to see pain and torture of our friends and then Ghost drags us upstairs by our hair and....

The softest pillows ever, Soap helds pur hands so we won't struggle as Simon tortures us with cumming over and over again. We're literally covered in blood, they are covered in blood, and Ghost is so mean with everyone( Soap laughs as our friends struggle against his axe and then covers our face with kisses because we're adorable and he wants us to cry forever((

Scaredy cat whiny wet napkin reader who constantly needs to drink because we cry our daily hydration worth, and we don't really get used to them or fall into Stockholm syndrome, we're just terrified enough to comply with them. It's my favorite dynamic tbh, not just falling in love, but mostly submitting out of fear. Ghost is so soft with us, gots us sweets and vegetables even though Soap is moody because of the lack of meat, because we can't bring ourselves to eat normally after we saw what they did to our friends

🎷🐛

i am fucking LOSING IT

you're so real for preferring scared submission over stockholm syndrome btw. stockholm syndrome can be fun but something about complying only because you're scared... it's so delicious...

also... soap wanting meat... if any of you want a cannibal ghostsoap apocalypse au go read this it's sooo good. ghost kidnaps soap and takes him back to his cannibal compound to keep him :( it's written as a love story from ghost's perspective and a horror story from soap's lol it's great

anyways more about serial killer ghoap below the cut :) listened to bilgewater by brown bird while writing this if any of y'all like gothic country music

soap torturing someone with you in the room (because he hates letting you out of his sight) and he keeps taking breaks to come comfort you and gives you kisses IM :((( wipes your tears away and gets streaks of red all over your face, wants to fuck you cause you look so pretty but his victims don't deserve to see you that vulnerable, that's just for him and simon. ties you up in the corner so you don't run, maybe locks you in a little cage (i will put petplay into everything i write like god has challenged me to it personally). gags you because you get real scream-y and tend to beg for their lives, but sometimes has to tug it out so you can throw up :( tells you to close your eyes when he does something particularly nasty, the gore and your terror in the corner nearly enough to get him off without even touching his dick

being soft with you is like their reward to themselves for torturing people so well lmfao. like, they did so good making those people's last moments agonizing and now they get to cuddle up with you <3 washes off their hands and your face, bundles you up real close to them, gets to lay in all the nice soft warmth now.

ghost is so so tender when washing you off (when he doesn't want you covered in blood - sometimes he leaves it for hours, until it flakes off and you nearly scratch it away until you bleed). he's cooing to you while brushing a soft washcloth over you face, humming a little and saying things like you were such a good girl for us. such good bait, led our toys right to us, thank you so much, doll. look so good covered in their blood, wanna paint you with it sometime. that sound nice to you? no? ok, ok, deep breaths, honey, calm down. just relax for me, you're safe. gonna be real sweet to you now, you don't have to be scared anymore.

and they are sweet. place you on a mattress covered in the softest most plush blankets you've ever seen. they set a little stuffed animal in your arms, let you curl around it and hide your face in it. they know it makes you feel better, and they're nice enough to let you hide your face from them for now :( content themselves with pulling you right up into them (making you hold the stuffed animal when they kill people, look at you all smiley and say make sure he doesn't get dirty, baby, picks it up out of a pool of blood and tsks at you all disappointed, tell you to clean him and say gentle, like we are with you whey you get too rough)

actually can't stop thinking about this au it's like a curse

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Crosshair's Helmet

Okay, I know a lot of people have already talked about this but I just wanna drop my own thoughts on the significance of Cross' helmet.

That helmet has always been a significant symbol for Imperial Crosshair ™️. With it on, he's the perfect soldier. With it off he's more vulnerable and open (even if it isn't always obvious).

Let's chuck out a few examples!

Helmet On

Killing civilians.

Pretty much everything he does on Ryloth.

Initially confronting the Batch on Kamino when his men are surrounding CF 99 in the training room.

Shooting the person in Solitary Clone (I have completely forgotten their name oops).

The first half of the mission with Mayday where he is opening up a little bit but is still reluctant to let his guard down.

Helmet Off

Being singed by the ion engine.

The rest of the S1 finale after he's killed his fellow imperial soldiers and is running around with the Batch (including when he stays on the platform).

Talking to Rampart in his office when Crosshair is feeling particularly bitter and cynical of what he's being asked.

Watching Cody leave.

The entire last half of the mission with Mayday including when he shoots Lieutenant dickhead.

I'm not gonna list every moment because I'm sure you get the point. The helmet is very symbolic for where Crosshair is and his relationship to the Empire.

You see it in Episode 12 in particular. Right at the beginning, Lieutenant Asshole tells Crosshair "you're not in uniform", at which point Cross puts the helmet on. He's not "in uniform" without it, he isn't a true representative of the Empire without it. That piece of armour symbolises Crosshair's entire identity as an imperial soldier.

And then he loses it and that's when the real vulnerability kicks in. It's been creeping in throughout the episode, with Cross giving away minimal details of his life to Mayday but when the avalanche hit, he lost the helmet and the fear truly set in (I'm sure you could also make some inference about the avalanche symbolising how Crosshair's entire life came crashing down on him yada yada).

From the moment that helmet comes off, every emotion is on display. Crosshair doesn't choose to hide his emotions, nor does he try to play the perfect solider. He starts to break down, he rebels against orders. Crosshair isn't playing the Empirial puppet.

And I think that this moment is going to be a tipping point for Crosshair. Not just because he shot Lieutenant Fuckface but because he lost his helmet. This isn't a case of him taking it off and momentarily showing his vulnerabilities. It's gone. He isn't getting that back.

Crosshair's life as a soldier for the Empire is gone, buried. While the Empire still have him in their hands, they can still pull the strings, but he isn't going to be their loyal lapdog anymore. At least not by choice.

I truly think we're going to see a new phase for Crosshair. One that leaves his loyalty to the Empire dead and buried.

°•°•°•°

Tagging @eriexplosion @phis-writing @saturn-sends-hugs @nimata-beroya and @snarkyfina because I'm sure they all have their own great takes on this topic! :)

[ticklish-n-stuff]

Hello! I LOVE your writing! If you're still accepting prompts for tickletober, may I please request (bsd) Lee! Fyodor and ler! Dazai (romantic preferably, but whatever's easier for you) with day 18, magic?

Dazai can cancel Fyodor's ability, making him the only one who can touch Fyodor without dying. I have a headcanon that every time Dazai touches Fyodor in a certain, very light way, Fyodor will feel a tingly sensation wherever Dazai touches him as a result of their abilities interacting with each other. Usually, it's just a bit tingly, but it gets very ticklish when Dazai does things like poking, rubbing, tracing etc.

When the two are having a sappy romantic moment (not often, let's be honest XD), Dazai will be a little shit and place his hands on Fyodor's neck/jaw before kissing him, making Fyodor all giggly and flustered. For a more platonic scenario, Dazai is (just like before XD) being a little shit and he thinks it's funny when Fyodor loses his cool. So he quickly grabs Fyodor's hands, causing Fyodor to do a full-body shiver and try to yank his hand back, but since Dazai is stronger than him, he's stuck there, forced to endure the tickles until Dazai thinks he's had enough.

Sorry if this is long, feel free to decline. Have an awesome day!

Tickletober day #18: Magic

Hsjdhskhdjsh I hope this is okay, writing a russian rat and suicide maniac together is quite challenging and after the latest season, I have a hard time visualizing them as romantic partners

I am a Dazai x Sigma believer ✌️

___________________________________________

Fyodor x Dazai (interpret as you wish)

Lee: Fyodor

Ler: Dazai

Warnings: Tickles!

___________________________________________

“You’re not so scary now, are you?~” Dazai teased, having pulled Fyodor onto his lap with ease and more importantly, without getting obliterated in the process thanks to his special ability.

“And look, I can even touch you all I want~” and just like that, Dazai’s hands started to playfully roam all over Fyodors torso.

Being touched like this was foreign to him, to say the least, but he didn’t plan on it to feel so damn ticklish!

“Oh, what’s this? Did I hit a sensitive spot?~” Dazai whispered teasingly close to the russian male’s ear, causing him to jolt upright.

“Tch, I don’t get sensitive” Fyodor let out a huff, trying to cover up the laughter that threatened to spill out of his lips. How foolish of him to think that Dazai would just leave it there, it is Dazai, after all. He thrives on other’s misery.

“Then surely you won’t mind if I do this, right?~” there was an evil smirk on Dazai’s face as his bandaged fingers found their way under Fyodor’s shirt, making sure to touch every inch of his torso.

“Mph!” his eyes instantly shut tight at the growing sensation, trying to squirm away from the offender, but he was too weak when in such a vulnerable pisition.

“C’mon, y’know you wanna laugh~” Dazai’s index finger poked it’s way to Fyodor’s navel, earning a startled gasp from the latter.

“Gah! Pfft! Ahahahaha! Dazai nohoho!” the damn finally broke and Fyodor’s laughter echoed across the room. His pale cheeks quickly turning tomato red as he tried and failed to control his reactions. How embarrassing! Someone so feared being brought down with something so childish, and yet, it didn’t feel all that bad to be touched so gently. Not like Fyodor would admit it out loud, but knowing Dazai, he already has an idea.

“Better get comfy ‘cause I won’t stop for a looong while!~” and thus, Dazai kept softly yet consistently tickling all over Fyodor’s belly and sides. Feeling like he was on cloud 9 for hearing such genuine laughter for once from this man. Even if neither voiced their enjoyment of this moment, it was pretty clear to anyone the giddy expressions they both wore.

___________________________________________

Update: After doing a very crack rp of me playing as Fyodor, I can say I believe in FyoZai love LMAO

[sharpth1ng]

Saw your post replying to the ask about 'losing a Billy person' and it got me thinking about this. I guess I'm a Billy person who's (nearly) lost their Stu person (which is actually rare and quite the opposite to their dynamic) In WoM Billy decides to move and start a new life afar from Stu because all the shit that's happened and his feelings about him and stuff so he's being sort of avoidant too. They both have very poorly communication skills and they definitely don't resolve anything so I can totally picture Billy getting away from Stu when he starts doing dumb shit (and because of Billy's fear of abandonment because of his mom, he doesn't wanna get hurt, feel vulnerable... etc) and when he doesn't get in exchange the kind of feedback he wants, ( a Stu who's devoted to him and their relationship, a lifetime partner, and everything he's bowed to) How would Billy deal with a lack of commitment? An unexpected betrayal? I guess I love angsty Billy way too much, lol. I'm a big fan of Stu going thru the process of grief but if the opposite happened how would Billy cope with it? My take on this is: bad copying mechanisms, tons of unleashed anger that he's been boiling up and listening to the same 3 depressive alt rock CD'S.

Also, re-reading Debaser and Wom it's like my biggest source of comfort atm so thanks for sharing your amazing writing with us<3

I think the way I write him Billy is also terrified of the idea of a lifetime partner tbh. Does he want that internally? Desperately, but because of the situation with his mom he doesn't feel safe wanting that.

Allowing himself to fully want and have Stu means acknowledging that he would be worse off without him, that he needs him on some level. Billy's got that self-sufficiency type toxic masculinity, he thinks he needs to be perfectly ok on his own and that he shouldn't ever need to rely on anyone else (which is just not how people work).

As a result, Billy running away in WoM is very much avoidance because he got a taste of what it would be like if he lost Stu and he couldn't handle it. Literally all of this is happening because Stu is too trustworthy, too reliably supportive, and Billy essentially thinks that enjoying that makes him weak.

So if there was an actual betrayal? He's going nuclear honestly. It doesn't even have to be the biggest betrayal. Stu's basically the last person he actually trusts in the world, he definitely doesn't trust Nancy anymore. Really the only reason he hasn't totally blown up at her is that he's put her on a pedestal, he sees her as a victim in this situation. So her actions are somewhat justified to him, but at the same time any trust he had for her has completely eroded.

Now with Stu, where he actually does trust him and also is essentially afraid of what that means? If he was betrayed or that trust was broken he would take that to mean that he was right; trusting or relying on anyone else is a bad idea. I think his specific reaction depends on what happened- if its a smaller thing yeah he might just run away, self isolate, smoke too much and get really aggro in general.

If it's anything even a little bit bigger though I think he would be on an actual warpath, like its Billy Loomis vengeance time and we all know what that means. He might decide to make Stu's life a living hell in a lot of little ways or he might decide to bottle it up, act like things are normal the way he did with Sid and then completely tear Stu's life down around him.

Either way I think this results in a much more self-destructive Billy than what we saw in his revenge plan with Sid. A Billy who's lost his trust in Stu is a Billy without direction, without comfort, and I think ultimately a Billy without hope. Like worst case scenario I do think he might try to kill Stu, but either way this is a Billy defending fully into nihilism.

So yeah, if there’s a lack of commitment? Billy is gone, he’s isolating and he’s telling himself he doesn’t need anything or anyone. If it’s a betrayal? He’s on the warpath.

[mamayan]

Warning: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat•NSFW•Yandere•Dark Themes•BNHA/HxH

Just a short list of yanderes you’d be better off dead than getting taken by, ranked least to worst in my opinion. This is VERY dark, and will describe ways these yanderes may accidentally or intentionally kill you. I keep it theoretical because I don’t like it too much either but you won’t see me willingly write these characters as yanderes much because they are SCARY.

Let me know if you want a part 2, and feel free to throw in comments of those you think would make the “better dead than alive with them” list!

First up on this list is Izuku Midoriya, a delusional yandere with a wildly deranged way of treating you.

He first and foremost, does not care if you love him or not, he’s going to make you act like you do though (which is torture itself). Izuku is a caretaker sort of yandere, but he’s abusive in going about it. Not being good in the bath? He’s dislocated your shoulder so you settle down. Wanna be mouthy and not eat the dinner he’s trying to feed you? He’s dislocated your jaw/slapping you so hard you spit blood/ gut punching you.

He’s also very much into your tears, but it’s up to you how you cry in the first place. Whether it’s from pain, fear, sadness, happiness, or overwhelming pleasure, Izuku loves your tears. He loves any reactions he can draw from you that makes you cute and vulnerable for him. He will absolutely break bones and even make you watch him harm your loved ones to make you comply. He won’t kill you, no never, he loves you, but if you make any sort of mistake… he’ll make you wish he didn’t love you so much.

When you do become compliant and obedient, because he will make you, it’s hell then too. He goes crazy with a power trip when you willingly (not really) submit to him. He will humiliate and degrade you (without ever cursing at your or even using words like slut/whore/worthless/etc.) “You look so cute on your knees like that, and look! You did it all by yourself this time, such a good pet, I’m so proud. You didn’t even wet yourself or make a mess this time!” He’ll remind you of the time he knocked the literal air from your lungs to drop you to your knees, which caused you to be unable to control your bladder.

He’s damn creepy too and won’t let you use the bathroom alone, sometimes won’t even let you wipe. And no, this isn’t just reserved for urine. The first time you held it so long and accidentally pissed yourself out of retaliation, he forced you to wear a diaper for a month until you were “potty trained” again.

Sex with him is not mild either nor does he care if it’s consensual, he makes you beg for your release or risk being edged until you go insane. He won’t let up. He’s also a big man as an adult, and he’s not inclined to be gentle in bed with you.

His treatment is a disgusting combination of infantilization and straight brutality. He will simultaneously make you act/feel like a helpless infant, and if you don’t comply with that treatment or lash out in any way, he’s fucking you up. If you put up a fight long enough, it could enrage him and cause him to accidentally snap your neck in his attempt to force you to calm down.

10/10 a yandere I personally would rather die than have. He’s awful. Delusional and thinks he’s doing nothing wrong, he’s the #1 Hero! He can’t do anything wrong! A literal monster. Comfort yourself inside though that you as a darling to Izuku would act as a barrier preventing him from unleashing his unhinged sadism on the world. Instead it’s you that gets that burden. In your own way, you’re a hero too. Tread with caution.

Next on this list is Shizuku Murasaki, don’t let her cute looks fool you, she is an absolute nightmare to have as a yandere for two very specific reasons.

She’s forgetful and forceful.

Shizuku will kidnap you, lock you away from the world, and then forget about how long she’s been gone from home. In her mind, it’s only been a few days, you should have plenty to eat. What she fails to remember is how impossible it is for you to escape or call her or anyone for help, as all the food disappears and the water shuts off due to her not paying the bill. Starvation and dehydration have nearly killed you multiple times. To the point you cry and beg, have severe panic attacks, when she leaves you for even a moment. Shizuku will also mistake this behavior for love, and while so cruelly cooing and soothing you, tell you she’s only going for a few hours a few weeks.

When you aren’t worried for your next meal and survival, she’s also terrible at providing you with even basic necessities like tooth paste, soap, laundry detergent. Her forgetfulness in paying water/electricity/sewage is also a major downfall in your comfort. You’ll freeze in the winter and possibly die of heat in the summer. She forgot to give you extra blankets.

Oops.

Trash has piled up and grown moldy?

Oops.

No water to shower or drink in days so you’re forced to get water from the toilet and use a bucket for your waste?

Oops.

Passed out from lack of food or nutrition?

Oops.

She’s downright a menace when it comes to taking care of you, but somehow extremely good in keeping you locked up. You have permanent damage to your nail beds from trying to claw your way through the wood of the front door. You might be saved from punishments because she’s lazy in that regard, and while she doesn’t hit or yell at you no matter how nasty your behavior, there is no denying she takes what she wants. You’re hungry and dehydrated? That needs to wait, she wants to cum and she wants to do it on your face. You feel disgusting and caked in your own sweat and grim from a week with no shower? She wants to use her new strap she picked up, so it needs to wait.

You’ll live in constant fear of dying due to her neglect and it will be a painful, lonely, and sadistic end.

11/10 sadistic without even meaning to be. The severe neglect will kill you eventually, it’s a slow and agonizing end you can’t help fighting whether you like it or not. You’ll die in your own filth, maybe from a combination of air toxicity, infection, starvation, and dehydration. Better to off yourself early if I’m being honest. She might even forget you died in her grief when she finds you, so don’t expect a proper burial, she’ll let you rot in the bed until another Troupe Member (sadly likely Phinks) has to remove your corpse and clean up.

Next we have, Overhaul, or Kai Chisaki on this list. Don’t let his handsome appearance fool you, while he may be beautiful, inside he is mentally ill to the extreme. You think he’s a bad man for abusing and torturing a little girl?

Kai is just as strict of a yandere as Izuku, but combined with his warped view of you and his OCD, it turns downright terrifying. He kills everyone you love before he takes you, because in his eyes they are literal vermin that only wish to taint and ruin you. He will calmly explain in detail who he killed and how he did it to you. If that isn’t enough, any pets you have? Dead. Immediately. They’re filthy animals that will taint you. Human contact? Forget about it. You will never feel skin on skin contact again in his care, not even his. I see a lot of depictions of Kai being a sex god as yandere, but as a real one? Even in his own eyes, he’s not worthy of touching you. He exults you to such a degree that you aren’t even really human in his eyes. Of course, you’ll be treated like the finest glass porcelain doll ever crafted, but aside from sitting on a shelf to rot for the rest of your life, then nothing else is happening. You’ll likely go insane in his care, because of the stark white room he’ll keep you in, so devoid of germs or bacteria it’ll be nauseatingly clean. The lights will go off for you to sleep for only 8 hours, but after that it’s fluorescent lights glaring at you for the remaining 16 hours of the day. Your bathroom won’t be any reprieve. You’ll have absolutely no personal comforts. Food will be the SAME THING for every meal, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and so bland and boring you’ll struggle to accept your new life.

Kai, like Shizuku, is also a yandere that wont hit you… but he’ll use his quirk on you. He’s not above taking you apart violently and putting you back together over and over and over.

Eventually you may even try to anger him just for him to take you apart. To feel something. He provides no entertainment. None at all. Have fun with your own mind and solitude in that white room.

Kai is also the most likely to have a mental break, so if you cross a certain line, he may kill you accidentally. Things like trying to seduce one of his men (for escape purposes), trying to harm yourself, trying to harm him, being filthy (you might cringe at the thought of wiping your own feces on the walls, but eventually shame and embarrassment will leave you).

He’s most likely to snap and try and clean you himself, your act of rebellion by dirtying/hurting him/harming yourself will likely leave you in a situation of…

a). He accidentally drowns you in his panicked state of washing you.

b). He uses some type of chemical (bleach) which leaves you severely injured/burned and you succumb to your wounds before medical attention can save you.

Kai is out of his damn mind, thinks of you as if you are a God/Goddess, and if you break that delusion, he will snap. I also think he’d preserve your body somehow, and you’d end up in a Snow White case so he can always look at you.

12/10 batshit crazy and very scary. No human autonomy. I just can’t help but think he’d 100% use bleach to try and “clean” his darling and that’s not a fun way to die at all. Also, his form of worship is so skewed and warped it leaves nothing but a bad taste in my mouth. He’s the idolize and stick on a shelf type, a very lonely and isolated way to live. At least Shizuku let’s you watch TV when the cable/electrical bills get paid. Kai won’t even let you have a book. Prisoner of war PTSD which will eventually lead to real insanity from that white room and isolation if Kai doesn’t kill you first.

[nero-ya]

Content warning ? I don't really know to be honest but safety first so just prepare for a bit of smut I guess.

I'm normally not really one for posting shit but I really need to get this out of my system.

First of all i wanna say thanks to all creators out there writing the best fics I've ever read.

I love you guys and your writings are amazing no matter what character it features.

Every fanfic I read about law is truly amazing and I love every single one of them fluff, smut, modern au, rare pairs, drabble, Oneshot or longer story with multiple chapters they're all amazing but.....most of them I have read are nearly the same, showing law as a dominant one who always has the control and it's good yes but listen closely.

That's just my opinion but please that traumatized handsome dude went through so much shit and lost so much and it's plausible if he's afraid of not having control over everything in fear of losing someone again and I'll get it but at the same time I think it's exactly what he needs, I'm a firm believer he's a switch even though he would never ever admit it only over his dead body but he is and he fucking needs it.

He needs someone he can trust fully without fear of getting judged or laughed at, someone's that just chains him to the bed for hours on end, teasing and pleasuring him, fucking all the stress and trauma out of him and giving him the most relaxing day all week.

At least once a week he needs to be fully pampered and cared for, let him forget for a day that he's not just a captain, a friend, a Brother or a lover, most of all he's fucking human and I would love to see more about law finding a person he can be vulnerable with and let go of everything for a day without the fear of being teased for submitting and leaving his care in you're hands.

Ahhhhh I just wanna fucking pamper him and just imagine law chained to the bed, blindfolded and sprawled naked on the sheets. Tracing every tattoo he has on his body, slow and sensual, kissing every scar he got along the way, massaging the Stress and pain he feels out of his body before sucking him empty and not stopping till he forgets everything around him, the responsibility, the pain, the trauma, his papers that are stacked on his desk and how Luffy ruined his plan every damn time.

Only focused on the pleasure he feels traveling through his entire body, bringing his mind into another place and giving him one orgasm after another, one better than the last one and only stopping when his mind and body is fully blissed out and numb.

Praise him for everything, let him know he's safe and how good he's doing, how pretty he looks and encourage him to let go more and more with every soft whisper and kiss and please never ever forget aftercare it's the most important thing after every scene.

Get him down slowly and massage his limps, especially where he was chained or use some soothing creme.

Don't stop kissing and praising him on how good he was, just love the ever living shit out of him.

Get a warm wash cloth to wash away the remains before it gets too sticky and gets uncomfortable for him or even worse it makes him overstimulate.

Make sure he really sleeps before you leave his side to get something to eat and drink and maybe get him his favourite book. It's important to be there when he wakes up or comes out of his subspace just to make sure he won't drop and catch him if he does drop.

Cuddling, kisses and soft words of Courage and affirmation while staying in bed with him all day long.

Just be there for him and reassure him, make him feel safe and get him to understand it's okay to feel and be human.

Oh fuck Post got longer than I thought it would....welp whatever.

I just hope I'm not the only one thinking that way and if then we'll...fuck me also I'm always open to other opinions so just hit me like you mean it.

Have a great day or night ya all.

It feels kinda bare without a picture so here's one of my all time favorites.

Credits to the creator of this fine fanart

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

[personal vent with some sprinkles of tr]

Today I feel emotionally exhausted. Completly drained. But not physically, with doesn't help because my body have too much energy for just laying down and be sad.

But I can't stop crying for everything and anything at the same time. And I know the sadness, the pain, the tears, are real. I know it bc I feel it. But at the same time I feel like nothing happened to me to be like this, like I don't have a 'real reason', that I'm not allowed to be this exhausted when from the outside it looks like I did nothing.

(And I know that's not true, I know I was burn out from the managements I had to do for having internet back, I know it scares me having an uknown man in my home, even if the internet technician was really nice and kind with my dog, what relaxed me bc if my traumatized dog doesn't feel danger and it someone treats him so good, that means everything is safe. And I know the day before I had a job interview and I had to go to the center what makes me be activated as fuck and my anxiety goes high being inside such a crowded small space like the metro. I know that all this things are a lot for me, I know it but if I don't write it is too easy to forget)

(And I also know that I'm finally talking about things in theraphy that broke me just too mention, I know there are real and valid reasons for be like this, I know I should be proud of myself. But I hate that the past can still hurt me, I hate how weak it makes me feel. Even if I know the fact that I'm finally open this box means I did a lot of progress with myself for getting here. But suddenly the old fears are screaming again and it seems like all the work I did for accepting my own vulnerability and not be terrified of feeling old pains just disappeared. And it sucks so much and only makes me be harder on myself)

Weirdly, if this was like my usual burnouts were I just don't have more spoons or an emotional flashback were I need time to feel safe it would be easy to manage. I would be more compasionate with myself, I'll know what to say to my intrusive thoughts.

But is not that. I'm emotionally exhausted to pretend to be strong, to be fine, to not be broke, to not be fighting with my mind constantly bc I wanna be better, I wanna get better, I can't slip into the same coping mechanisms again (even if it feels so easy to do it).

And I just feel like a kid, starting to cry again and again without "reasons". I just feel like a kid that doesn't want to be this weak, that wants to smile and to not make everyone worried bc it's fine, I'm fine, I'm strong, I'm resilient, of course I'll stand up again, ofc the past is not going to drown me, I'm strong and strong people...

Strong people cry.

Strong people are able to admit that they are scared and want to run away.

Strong people fail. And fail again.

Strong people have a lot of flaws and do a lot of mistakes.

Strong people allow themselves to feel the pain, the sadness, the fear.

They broke. Again. And again. Because they admit when something hurts them, they don't deny the pain, don't pretend to be unharmed.

And after that, they try again. Because they never give up. But they ask for help, the show weakness, they show their tears, they show they are vulnerable.

Because maybe being able to be vulnerable is what real strenght mean.

(and yes, I chose this image on purpose because the contrast with this empty Mikey and Takemichi is so huge, Mikey isolating himself on the top, never breaking until he can't take it anymore... I see myself so much in Mikey and it hurts, but it's also a good reminder of how much I need to remember the lessons that Michi showed us)

And I don't know if any of what I just said makes sense or if it's just me rambling around and remembering to myself what ment for Mikey being so strong and so unbreakable and how Takemitchy being openly vulnerable and showing his feelings to the whole world, saved him. Saved us.

Because Takemitchy saved me too and he does it again every time I'm about to not allow myself to cry and go to the old-repress-and-denial.

So yeah, thanks our crybaby hero. I needed you so much and even if I don't say talk about you enough, I love you a lot 💜

[dimdiamond]

Hi! Know you've got a bunch of asks already, but as an avid history and Tintin fans I was wondering if you had any views/opinions/ideas of Tintin in ww2? Whether he was a kid, a teen, an adult, where he was and what he did, his opinions, etc. It's ok if you don't, I've just got a bunch of ideas buzzing around my head and i wanna bounce them off someone and you're the unfortunate soul I've selected

Hello 👋

Lmao don't worry, I don't consider this a bad fortune! Please share your ideas and thoughts freely with me!

This is an interesting question! I have seen other fans having great ideas about Tintin during WW2 and honestly I don't feel like I can reach their level.

First I want to clarify that the way I look at canon material's timeline and world isn't the same as our world. What I mean is that in my eyes Tintin's world is a distorted reflection of our world, time doesn't work in the same way as our time so we can have characteristics of different decades without meaning that the decades passed by indeed. Historical events may or may not have happened but we can see the signs and the effects of them. So strictly in canon speaking I doubt world wars have happened.

Despite canon and speaking of headcanons and ideas, for me Tintin would be in his late teens during WW2. Naturally he would be in the army but after Belgium being occupied by the Nazis he would go to the resistance and try to sabotage the Nazis and help as many people as he could. He would use his youthful appearance to his benefit and not get suspicions on him. I suppose since he is that faithful to his ethics and beliefs he would at first refuse to keep working for the paper but in need of money and information he would continue working but not for writing.

I haven't organized my thoughts more but I guess I would follow this direction more or less. WW2 is a heavy period, especially for occupied by the Nazis countries (my country was too) and I think that for Tintin, as well as for most of the people, the real trauma and hard thing to deal with was to see your own people being against you, not being able to trust your fellow in fear of being a traitor or simply hating what you are and represent. Racism and prejudices existed even before Nazis and they enhanced and legalized them. Tintin would hate to see brother going against brother and would become even more stubborn to not end up like that, that no matter what would happen he would remain loyal to his beliefs and try to be kind to those that are vulnerable.

So what are your thoughts?

[auncyen]

(1/1) Hello, first I want to say this message isn’t meant to pressure you or anything. I struggle a lot with writing anything, so it’s important to take your time. That being said, I just wanna say that Cat Dragged in the Trickster might have the best Ren characterization ever. He’s the perfect blend of the sad boi typical of nonPT!Ren, and the "I decide what I do" of Joker. He has that sass, class, and a pinch of crass. He’s confronted by the PT and chuckles in their face and calls them out.

(2/2) Also hilarious? Ren “I’m going to eat you first” and “aight, personal issues, imma head out” Amamiya! Also very dramatic “I must have the devil’s luck” and “I was born to play the villain’s role” mfer. Arsene Lupin indeed. But he carries an undeniable undercurrent of sadness, esp. in regards to his arrest. He longs to belong but is blocked by his fear of rejection and lack of self-esteem. And he is just. So casual, so accepting about it, which is the worst part.

(3/2 oops?) And the way this is all done? is SO subtle, just like how canon does it. About 70% of the time he provides very bland and almost aloof responses, but that makes the 30% moments of vulnerability, deviousness, and sarcasm really out and provide a delightful look into him. It is an amazing case of indirect characterization and is DELICIOUS. And the mystery! Half of c7 is Ren ): and the other half is WTF, Ren? Again, I hope this doesn't seem pushy or pressuring, and if it does I'm sorry.

No it does not come off pushy or pressuring at all, and thank you so much for this ask! It's really sweet. I'm glad you've enjoyed Ren's characterization! With him joining so late and after Futaba even, I wanted him to keep some sass (even if it's sometimes a front) partially just because the sass is fun :), but also to explain why Ann and others managed to notice him throughout the year without really realizing he might be having issues. (Especially once they got Futaba, who'd probably speak up about sadboi Ren.) And lol bouncing Ren off a Morgana who's defensive about his identity and how Ren found him was just too funny an idea. Morgana all "I COULD BE A MONSTER" and Ren's just thinking "you are one-tenth my size and sleep in Takamaki's desk half the school day. I'm supposed to be scared of you?? After that reaper thing??"

Side note on the "Arsene Lupin indeed" bit: at one point someone asked if he would have a different persona because of him being AU'd and I kind of panicked like "wait SHOULD it be different?" I believe it's @muzzleroars to thank for getting me to read some of the Arsene Lupin stories and there's actually a line that I feel perfectly fits what about Ren the au is emphasizing so yeah he's still going to have Arsene once he awakens lol. Arsene really does just work for the outlines of characterization we get for Ren so well.

THE MYSTERY... no you're not pressuring me, I do that well enough on my own sometimes--a big part of the delay is that I keep thinking maybe I haven't set things up well enough for what I want to do, and at one point I was even considering if I should just divert the plot another way, but I really do want to go all in on why Ren's having trouble with his outfit and awakening and is having some weirdness outside the metaverse. So I think...I just gotta take the risk that the next chapter might not be as good as I wanted to get it done, but I really do hope to get it done soonish, and thank you for the lovely ask!