#[ BUT THE BAD NEWS IS THAT I KEEP CONSISTENTLY LOSING SLEEP ]
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introducing...
🩸♰ 𝐣𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ♰🩸
hello! welcome to my very first kinktober EVER! i will be writing for various people during this season, and have a few already done! currently this list consists of writing for three people — jim hopper, joel miller, eddie munson.
♱ these shorts can run from 500 - 10K words so be aware! i will put the word count with every post :) ♱
♱ these may also be posted late, or twice in a day depending if i can't keep up with my schedule :p sorry in advance! ♱
all dates that say TBA are up for request for any person of your choosing *preferably ones i write for* ^^
send in your request with the date you want, and you can be as detailed or as vague as you want. remember!!!* all my writing is written for plus sized women! so if you're bothered by that then i am very sorry but never in my life have i seen an all plus sized kinktober! so i will be here to represent for my girls 🖤🩷 i don't use many descriptions other than describing the character as fat, so my writing is SPECIFICALLY for fat black and brown women, women of color, and fat women in general 🩷
most of these fics are centered around halloween time, or just the season of fall! very few are just regular spicy stories :p
reblogs, comments and likes are very appreciated 🖤
but without further ado, here we go!
【 oct 1. exhibitionism 】
▹ joel miller is a stranger who fucks you on a nude beach.
【 oct 2. facefucking/choking 】
▹ eddie munson is your toxic on and off 'boyfriend'.
【 oct 3. dumbification 】
▹ joel miller is your grumpy old neighbor.
【 oct 4. taped 】
▹ eddie munson likes to record you during sex.
【 oct 5. caught 】
▹ joel miller is your dad's coworker, and tommy miller is his brother.
【 oct 6. glory hole 】
▹ eddie munson goes to a brothel for the very first time.
【 oct 7. sex work 】
▹ jim hopper gets bored and finds a cam girl site.
【 oct 8. size kink 】
▹ eddie munson is your skinny, lanky boyfriend.
【 oct 9. cockwarming 】
▹ joel miller just loves to be buried inside of you 24/7.
【 oct 10. phone sex 】
▹ eddie munson can't help himself when he gets on the phone to talk to his best friend at night.
【 oct 11. breeding 】
▹ joel miller aches to see you swollen and round with his baby.
【 oct 12. somnophilia 】
▹ eddie munson uses you while you sleep in his bed.
【 oct 13. orgy 】
▹ joel miller gets an invite to a sex party, only to find you and keep you to himself.
【 oct 14. high sex 】
▹ eddie munson gets you high for the first time.
【 oct 15. mutual masturbation 】
▹ joel miller finds a loop hole in his efforts of not ruining you.
【 oct 16. sexting 】
▹ jim hopper spends a late night at the precinct when his phone starts buzzing away.
【 oct 17. objectification 】
▹ joel miller loves to turn you into his personal sex doll.
【 oct 18. switch 】
▹ eddie munson lets you, a stranger, dom him.
【 oct 19. praise kink 】
▹ eddie munson finds that his new girlfriend loves to be good for him.
【 oct 20. edging 】
▹ joel miller loves to make you work for it.
【 oct 21. corruption 】
▹ eddie munson has always been a bad influence for you.
【 oct 22. thigh riding 】
▹ joel miller like to watch you ride his thigh.
【 oct 23. virgin 】
▹ eddie munson takes your pretty little flower.
【 oct 24. dacrysphilia 】
▹ joel miller loves to make you cry while he's inside of you.
【 oct 25. titty fucking 】
▹ jim hopper loves your double Ds a little too much.
【 oct 26. stigmatophilia 】
▹ eddie munson can't help but get hard every time he looks at your pierced body.
【 oct 27. obsession 】
▹ joel miller refuses to lose you, no matter what it takes.
【 oct 28. anal 】
▹ jim hopper has an insatiable urge to stretch out both holes.
【 oct 29. quirofilia 】
▹ eddie munson's hands never fail to get you embarrassingly wet.
【 oct 30. touch starved 】
▹ joel miller hasn't met anyone as needy as you.
【 halloween: surprise 】
▹ i shake shit up and write something i've never written b4 lol
#kinktober#kinktober 2023#plus size smut#fat girls#smut#chubby smut#chubby#plus size reader#joel miller#joel miller x plus sized reader#eddie x plus size reader#stranger things#tlou fanfiction#jim hopper#jim hopper x plus size reader#oneshots#eddie munson smut#jim hopper smut#plus size representation#joel x reader#joel tlou#eddie munson#joel miller smut#tlou hbo#curvy#eddie stranger things#eddie x reader#i 🩷 fat girls#plus size series#spooky sex fr
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Title: Slippery Slope. Fandom: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Cursing, Implications, Intensity) Pairing: Eventual Noa x Human!Reader.
***Notes: Sorry I haven’t updated in a hot minute everyone. Life has been kicking my butt as well as my husband’s. We had to prioritize, and then afterward I didn’t feel like writing. Not promising regular updates again, but I am consistently working on this. As always, thank you for your support and kind comments. I love you all.
Chapter 13: Not the First
You
You had gone to bed last night, stomach burning and body restless from the day that had transpired. The only comfort had been that Micheal apparently did not care about Anaya’s scent all over you the way the apes cared about his. He had snuggled in close to you as you laid there, thinking about how you would handle the balancing act between the two- no three, species moving forward. Anaya accepted Micheal, at least he stopped trying to kill him once he knew you cared about him. If Noa knew you cared about Micheal, maybe he would also leave him alone? Maybe, he could understand you caring about another animal? He cared about you, didn’t he? At least a little bit. Certainly enough to come talk to you after a fight.
That had caused you to toss and turn even more, not really knowing why Noa had shown up. Maybe he had still been angry, but seeing the situation with you and Anaya had distracted him enough to let it go temporarily. You could only imagine what you had looked like, the definition of sheer panic coming to mind. Noa had always been attentive to your feelings…he probably did push his anger to the side when he saw you were scared. You believed he did anyway, that was just the way he was. Caring, patient, and understanding to a fault.
That thought only served to remind you that the next morning you needed to face him. You needed to apologize for hitting him, maybe talk about the future between you and the clan. You were obviously putting him in a tight spot with the elders. That’s not even speaking about the rock and hard place you were placing Anaya in by having him keep your secret. The elders expected you to show yourself…you had no idea how you would manage that either. If Soona, Anaya, and Noa were there with you, then you should have no trouble feeling safe, but there was something else that made you shudder at the thought. You had this feeling you would be losing something, this small peace you found with your three ape friends. That small, fragile peace built on mutual respect and trust.
You had scoffed at that. Today was an example of how easily trust could be broken, but also re-built. In all fairness, the apes never really expected much from you. Noa even took great pains to make it clear to you that you could always say no. If they asked you to do something you didn’t want to, they wouldn’t force you…but this Caesar Council was a different animal all together. Anaya wanted you to be a part of it, which meant you would be a part of the clan…even if it was indirectly. Either way, it changed things. Anaya said Noa had created new laws, and this council was one of them. That would need to be something you discussed with Noa down the road…probably not tomorrow.
You had almost rambled yourself to sleep at that point, when your eyes had flown open wide and you realized you never decided when you would meet Noa at the rock. Anaya had simply said he would show him where it was. You had groaned and snuggled in deeper under your blanket, knowing you had an early start the next morning.
So here you were, sunbathing on your chunk of safety in the middle of the creek. You were soaking wet from your swim, making sure to scrub away Micheal’s scent as you made your way to your rock. Thankfully, you had sense enough to wear a dirty top that needed to be washed anyway, as well as your singular pair of shorts your reserved for the extreme heats of summer. This summer had not been too bad so far, but today the garment served a new purpose of keeping your modesty while you swam. You would not be caught naked in front of Noa like you had with Anaya. You knew he hadn’t seen anything of course, but you still were not going to repeat your actions and risk the possibility of Noa seeing you naked.
You rubbed at your eyes, a yawn sneaking up on you as you became more comfortable. You were sure Noa didn’t care about your body anymore than Anaya did, but it was the principle of the matter. Humans and their pride…not that you had much to begin with. Still, you clung to the slivers you did have.
You had just fully settled in, sleep creeping along the edges of your consciousness, the early morning sun warming you perfectly, when you heard the hoots of apes. You stretched, turning your head to glance to your right, but did not see hide nor hair of Noa or Anaya. This confused you at first. Did you imagine the noise? You closed your eyes again, only to have them fly open when you heard it again. This time, it was to your left…on the other side of the creek.
You froze for a moment, daring to turn your head at a snails pace to your left. The noises were clearer now. While you were sure they were chimpanzee hoots, they definitely did not sound like gorilla noises, you were still uneasy. Once your head was fully turned, you were surprised to still hear the noises, but see nothing on the other side of the creek.
You sat up slowly, hesitantly, confusion spiking as you looked left, then right once more. Nothing. You pushed yourself up onto your knees, frantically searching for the source of the sounds. You swiveled around on the dry stone, turning in a full circle as your eyes desperately scanned for something that simply wasn’t there. Were you going crazy? You swore you could hear ape noises. You stopped, closing your eyes and listening more intently.
There!
It was coming from your left, as you originally thought, but no matter how hard you looked, you could not see anyone approaching. The tree line was clear up and down stream. Still, you heard the noises, and the longer you heard them, the more pitiful they sounded. Was someone in pain? Were they hurt? What if they were calling for help? You rose into a standing position, practically on tip-toe, blocking the sun from your eyes with your hands in an attempt to see better.
Finally, you spotted the smallest of movements along the bank. It seemed it was just a baby chimpanzee, crouched down on the edge of the creek among the bushes. You felt your lips turn down into a frown, the scared looking chimp tugging at your heartstrings. How did they get here? Why were they all alone? You opened your mouth to call out to them, but immediately stopped yourself, dropping back down to plaster yourself flat against the rock.
No baby would be left alone like this.
You suddenly felt very exposed, creeping yourself back to the edge of the rock before quietly lowering your body back into the water. You stayed behind the rock, on the opposite side of the chimp, who did not seem to be aware of your presence at all. You peaked around the edge, wanting to keep an eye out, but not wanting to be seen. You couldn’t leave the baby alone, but you were still wary to approach them, lest an angry mother burst through the clearing and see you as a threat.
You waited silently, patiently. After a few more minutes of the chimp hooting and no one coming, you heard the noises change. It sounded like- were they…crying? Could apes cry? You floated there, transfixed by the tiny chimp, who curled its arms around itself and sat there sobbing. You fought the urge to reveal yourself, but in the end your heart overruled your head. The chimp was just a baby, you couldn’t leave them there alone and scared.
You carefully maneuvered around the rock, making your way towards the sobbing baby on the bank. You stopped when you felt muddy earth between your toes, water still up to your chest. You called out softly, so as not to scare them, “Do you need help? Are you lost?”
Your soft and careful voice did nothing to soothe the chimp, who jumped back from the edge and started screeching louder. You winced, muscles tensing and nerves screaming at you to swim away and leave. Something in your brain decided against that though, your hands coming up from the water to quickly sign, Friend. No hurt. Safe. Need help?
The baby went silent before you even signed the question, staring at you as if you suddenly became the most fascinating thing they had ever seen. You watched their eyes dart from your hands, to your eyes, to your body in the water, and back to your hands. You repeated the four phrases, wondering if they understood sign yet or if they were too young. Then, after another moment of intense staring, they raised their hand. It was hesitant, but they signed, Alone. Help. Afraid.
You swallowed, “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Another moment of hesitation, then a nod and a signed, Yes.
“Okay,” you took a deep breath. “I’m going to come to you. I’m going to walk up to the bank and sit with you. Alright?”
They nodded again.
You returned the nod, slowly walking up the incline until you made it to the edge. The baby did not seem to realize how big you were, head tilting back as you continued to approach. When they could no longer lean back they scrambled to their feet, crouched on all fours before backing up a few steps. You couldn’t blame them, Micheal was easily twice their size. You ran a hand through your wet hair, body slipping down into a sitting position before you crossed your legs. You didn’t want to frighten them anymore than you already had, so you sat and waited. After a moment or two the chimp made their way to you, knuckles brushing against your exposed thigh. They flinched back immediately, as if you would strike at them like a cobra. You let out a breath, trying to smile as you signed, Friend. Safe. Protect.
The furrowed brows and downturned mouth of the chimp eased into something more neutral, more curious, as they decided to climb into your lap. You fought the intense urge to lock up and stiffen your muscles in preparation for an attack. You tried instead to think of the baby as if they were Micheal. They were more open than him though, pinching and pulling at your wet clothes in fascination. That didn’t hold their attention for long though, as they poked at the meat of your upper arms. That forced a giggle out of you, watching them get closer and continue to poke the exposed flesh.
You bit your lip in concentration then, fighting off more laughter, “Do you know where your parents are?”
The chimp paused only long enough to shake their head.
You blew air out of your mouth then in a slow exhale, “Do you have a name?”
The chimp paused, making a gesture over and over that you did not understand. You shook your head, trying to explain that you did not understand. The chimp pouted, opening up their mouth suddenly in a widely comical elongated fashion. You heard a few intakes of air before they huffed and screeched, “E…E…E.”
The loud noise was shrill against your ears. You winced slightly, holding up the hand they weren’t clutching onto, “Okay, okay, easy there. Don’t strain yourself. You can’t talk yet, that’s okay. E is good enough for me.”
E nodded once, puffing their cheeks, before they continued to poke and jab at your arm. You became increasingly confused, watching them and trying to parcel out the reason. Then, they noticed the fascination in their gaze as they dragged a finger down your arm in a slow push. You saw your skin lighten in color from the pressure before darkening again, and you smiled. The color change was something they had probably never seen in an ape before. You let them play to their hearts content, so focused on them that you had lost track of your surroundings.
Then someone called your name.
You snapped your head up, finding Soona standing a few feet in front of you, an unfamiliar Eagle perched on her arm. You breathed a sigh of relief as she began to screech and hoot in delight, “You…found her.”
“Her?” You parroted.
Soona pointed to chimp in your arms, who seemed happier, but reluctant to leave your side. The Eagle on Soona’s arm was given a signal and quickly flew away as she explained, “Wandered off…have been searching…long time.”
Your brow furrowed at that, “Wandered off? Your village is far from here, how did she get this far by herself?”
Soona shook her head, trudging over towards you and practically falling down next to you. She seemed exhausted. “Not from…village…from group of…younglings…upstream.”
Soona held out a hand, which the smaller ape happily grasped a finger of. When Soona reached for her though, E gave a small shout of protest before moving to the opposite side of your body. Soona looked surprised, the young ape becoming fascinated now with your wet, matted hair. She stood on two legs, leaning against your chest for balance as she pulled and tugged at the strands. You winced slightly, but chuckled good naturedly as you locked eyes with Soona.
She broke eye contact for a moment, gaze turning towards the empty forest off to the side. Before you could ask if something was wrong, her attention was back on you, head tilting slightly as she asked, “You are…better…than yesterday?”
You shrugged a shoulder, catching E starting to braid the pieces of your hair that were almost dry. “I guess. I hope you know that I never meant to offend you, or your clan. I’m sorry if you were expecting me and I never showed. I just wasn’t…prepared to see your village.”
Soona hummed, “Noa…should have told you…should have told us…sooner…I am…sorry…that apes have not…always been kind…to you.”
E tilted her head up then, her question obvious though she could not voice it. You shook your head, “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. It wasn’t you who was un-kind to me. You, Anaya, and Noa have been nothing but kind to me…for the most part.”
“You are…still angry…with Noa?” Soona asked carefully.
You puffed out a long breath, thinking, snickering as E did her best to mimic your noise. You pulled more hair from your back to your front, noticing she enjoyed braiding. You hoped it would keep her distracted from the conversation, “Can anyone truly stay mad at Noa?”
Soona seemed to brighten at this, but chose to remain silent as you continued, “I understand why he did what he did. I don’t like it, but I understand it. The real problem that day…well…it’s just…. I know there are barriers between our species. It’s more than just speech, and I…I mean, these problems probably have carried over from hundreds of years of differences. You three have been great, but the part that upsets me is that Noa seems to choose to ignore the fact that apes and humans don’t normally co-exist peacefully. We do, but I’ve also experienced the other end of the spectrum between our species. And Noa just…”
Soona hummed, “Think he…does not see…the differences…in you…but you cannot help…but see them…in us.”
You hesitated, but ultimately nodded in agreement. “I don’t hold being apes against you or your clan, I just…wish he understood what it feels like. To not know if you can trust the person- ape, next to you. To not know if they are going to turn on you, betray you, or even hurt you.”
E, who you assumed had been distracted by her task, stopped immediately. She looked up at you then, a soft coo leaving her as she patted your shoulder. You snorted, using a single finger to mirror her actions. She hooted in clear amusement, leaning her head into your shoulder, rubbing her face against you before sliding down into your lap. She seemed tired now, curling into your side and closing her eyes. You felt a smile slowly creep onto your face, carefully using two fingers to stroke the top of the chimp’s head. She snuggled in closer then, gripping tightly onto your shirt as tears threatened your vision and you thought your heart was actually going to explode.
Get a grip.
Your hormones must be crazy right now. At least, that’s what you told yourself, as you brushed a hand along the loose braids along your shoulder. Soona, as she tends to do, had remained quiet during this exchange. She studied you, noticing how emotional you had become, scenting the air quietly before admitting, “Noa does know…what it is like…to be betrayed.”
This surprised you, your attention quickly brought back to the present conversation. Your eyebrows rose, curiosity peaked as you asked, “By a fellow ape?”
Soona shook her head, causing confusion to drown your mind until she spoke, “By a…Echo…you are not the first…that could speak…that Noa has met.”
You felt your jaw go slack, trying to contain your excitement as you asked, “There are other humans around who can speak?”
“There was one,” Soona answered, lips pursed as she noted your disappointment. “We do not know…where she went…left five seasons ago…have not seen her since…her name was…Mae.”
You nodded, urging Soona to continue, “What happened with Mae? You said she…betrayed Noa? How?”
Soona sighed, “We do not…normally speak of her…she was a source…of much pain and…confusion for Noa…think…you should know.”
You waited, allowing Soona to collect her thoughts. “There was ape…Proximus…he was king of apes…he searched for Mae…killed other humans that…were with her…wanted to get inside…a human vault…it held great weapons…that would make Proximus…more powerful.”
A shiver ran down your spine, remembering the ape Sylva that Anaya had spoken of. He never mentioned this Proximus ape though. Wanting a better idea of the situation you asked, “Who was Sylva to Proximus?”
Soona seemed completely surprised you knew that name, but nevertheless answered, “Sylva was…his General…not sure if that is an ape word…or a human word.”
You swallowed, “It’s human…Proximus seems to have already been an advanced ape.”
Soona curled more into herself then, “He was….we all were afraid…if not for Noa…and Mae…Eagle Clan would not…be here.”
“Proximus ordered your clan to be stolen, and Sylva carried out his orders.” You connected the dots then, “What happened to Proximus?”
“Noa stopped him,” Soona answered without hesitation.
This surprised you. You were aware that Noa killed Sylva, but Proximus as well? Noa did not seem like he was violent, or capable of such great strengths. You assumed he had killed Sylva, a gorilla, by outsmarting him…but Proximus? How? Was Noa secretly more dangerous than you gave him credit for?
Soona grunted then, pulling you out of your thoughts, “Noa says…Mae hid from Proximus…in our village…Noa accidentally…lead them to us…the entire clan was taken…Noa tracked us…for many days…Mae followed…Noa did not know she could speak…until she called his name…Sylva was close…she was scared…she chose Noa as…lesser of the two apes…to fear.”
“So, she lied.” You offered, “Noa was betrayed by her traveling with him but he didn’t know she could speak, or that Proximus was hunting her.”
Soona nodded, “More than that…when Noa and Mae…were taken to Proximus…he learned she shared…the same goal…as Proximus…she wanted to…get inside…get a book…that could help humans…learn to speak…again.”
“That…” you hesitated. You wondered how much to say. A book could not bring back human’s ability to speak. You either were immune or you were not…unless there was a record of some sort. Maybe a cure…a vaccine? Had humans halfway across the world developed their salvation but been unable to share it with anyone outside the vault?
You remembered your vault constantly sending out a signal using the available satellites orbiting Earth, but they never received a response. So much had been lost to time…and if there had been a cure all along? You swallowed the bile in your throat at the thought of how many millions died over time who couldn’t even speak.
You shook your head, “That sounds incredible. Did she find what she was looking for?”
Soona nodded, “Noa helped…we helped her…but she…did not help the clan.”
You tilted your head, “What do you mean?”
Soona huffed, clearly agitated, “The reason…we do not…speak of her…she flooded Proximus’ kingdom…killed many apes…in the process…then ran away.”
“I’m sorry…” It was the only thing you could think to say as silence engulfed the both of you.
“Noa…” Soona began, attention once again towards the forest at your backs. You waited, brows raised as Soona turned back to you. “Noa was…different…after meeting Mae…is different…with you…now.”
Something about that sentence sent chills down your spine. There was many implications, and you chose to ask the most obvious of them, “Does Noa think I’ll turn out to be like Mae? That I’ll betray him? Hurt him or the clan? Is that why he’s always watching me, always careful around me?”
Soona shook her head, “Noa knows…you are not like Mae…you are…what he wished…Mae was…wants to make sure…he does not become….like Mae…to you.”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair, “I…I threw a rock at him yesterday. I made a mistake…I already hurt him. He shouldn’t think that I’m not like her…I could be. I’m human after all.”
“Human…” Soona began, hand coming to rest on your shoulder. “Does not mean bad…ape…does not mean good…Noa says…wants others to learn…we are better…stronger…good and bad…together…more alike…than either side…wants to speak of.”
Still cradling the sleeping E in your lap, you leaned your body into Soona’s, head coming to rest between her neck and her shoulder. Her hand slid from your shoulder to the back of your head, leaning in to return your half-hug as well. She patted your head a few times as you sighed, “Thank you, Soona.”
There was silence, peaceful this time. E breathed heavily in your lap from sleep, and the creek next to you trickled soothingly while the sun climbed higher in the sky. You took a deep breath, feeling more prepared to speak to Noa than you had been before. There was a distinct crack sound behind you, causing both you and Soona to turn.
You saw some leaves fall from a tree not to far back, but couldn’t make out anything more than that. You thought you saw movement for a moment, shielding your eyes with your hand once more, when Soona’s Eagle tore through the canopy and landed next to her on the ground. She stood too quickly then for your liking, looking upstream before turning back to you.
Her eyes were pleading, almost desperate as she said, “Do not…be scared…do not run.”
You were confused, until you heard the litter patter of many feet moving towards you. You leaned your body to see past Soona, body tensing and breath freezing at what you saw. Many apes, children from the looks of it, were running down stream towards the both of you. You suddenly did not want to be on the ground.
You carefully scooped E from your lap, holding her close to your chest as you practically leapt to your feet. Whether from being moved or the sudden frantic beat of your heart, E woke with a start. She began to hoot and squirm in your arms. You clutched her tighter to you, feeling your breathing become labored, taking a step or two back in fear. You didn’t get much further, Soona’s arm coming up to hold your arm.
You jerked towards her with frantic eyes. Hers were still calm, concerned as she tried to comfort you. “I am…here…trust.”
As the apes came closer, you swallowed hard, nodding a few times before taking a step closer, behind her. She hummed, screeching at the apes a few moments later. They came skidding to a stop in front of you, all of them transfixed, as if they had never seen a human before. You reasoned, that perhaps they hadn’t. You tried to take deep, discreet breaths to calm your nerves. None of them were taller than your waist, but the thought of so many surrounding you still made you nervous.
Suddenly, the biggest of the bunch stepped forward, sniffing at your feet for a moment before glancing up to meet your gaze. His held tilted in confusion as he demanded in a voice that sounded much younger than he looked, “Why does Eden…get to be carried…by the Echo?”
#kingdom of the planet of the apes#kotpota#planet of the apes#pota#noa#noa x reader#noa pota#fanfiction#noa kotpota#kotpota noa#kotpota soona#soona pota#soona#anaya pota#kotpota anaya#Slippery Slope series#noa planet of the apes#planet of the apes x reader
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Okay so @turquoisespace35 has a Huntlow AU that has quickly become maybe one of my top AUs ever. This doesn’t reeeally work with the cannon events as of some of the new updates, but I still wanted to share it.
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After Dusk - Part One
Three hundred fifty-eight nights.
Life in the temple was as consistent as the numbers in Hunter’s makeshift calendars. Or, at least, it had been. Knowing when the gates would open again kept him alive and safe. How could he afford not to diligently track the phases of the moon, and the nights that passed with them?
Recently, however, it had become a condemnation each morning. It served only as a solemn reminder that his time with Willow was swiftly coming to an end. She couldn’t stay here forever. He’d be a fool to think otherwise. Still, maybe it would hurt less if he could forget just how little was left.
Willow shifted in her sleep. Her right arm clutched a fold in her peplos as she let out a soft sigh. Though the two tried to keep to the same waking hours, Willow was always the first to fall asleep. There was little she could see as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, and usually nothing after all traces of it were gone. Loose stones and pesky pebbles were already hazardous enough in broad daylight.
Hunter picked up an apple from the bountiful mound beside him. Though he was more than happy to gather them whenever Willow needed, he wanted to ensure she wasn’t depending solely on him to eat. Frequently since creating the pile he’d awoken to their characteristic snaps as Willow helped herself to breakfast. She didn’t always notice him stirring awake, and every so often Hunter was able to lay and watch her quietly hum to herself as she smiled and ate.
She was smiling even now. The corners of her lips were turned upright ever so slightly. It allowed the hint of a dimple to emerge from Willow’s upright cheek.
Pretty.
Hunter felt his face grow hot as he dropped the apple in embarrassment. As if he needed an extra helping of bad luck in this life, the entire pile he had so neatly assembled came tumbling down. Despite his best efforts to stop them, he heard Willow stirring behind him. His snakes hissed in delight, and he was equally as unsuccessful in keeping them quiet. They’d always been all too eager to express the emotions he worked hard to keep hidden.
“Hunter?”
She wasn’t looking directly at him, but close enough from the sound of the noise. The sunlight had completely disappeared by now, and Hunter usually needed to stay very close in order for her to see him at night.
“I’m right here,” he said, moving himself to be directly in front of her. She gave him a smile still weighted from her time spent asleep.
“Hey there.” She brought a hand up to cup his cheek, and Hunter felt his face grow even warmer. “You feel really warm, are you alright?”
Hunter cupped her hand in his to move it away from his face. “Everything is fine! Nothing to worry about here!”
His snakes betrayed him, all twisting to look at his hand now holding Willow’s. Though his heart pounded, he didn’t drop it. She had squeezed his hand in return, and nothing was worth losing the feeling growing in his chest at this moment.
They had held hands before, but never quite like this. It had always been when Willow asked for a little extra guidance, or when someone helped take the apples out of the other’s arms. This was different. There was something special about this. Why else would they both still be holding on?
Tell her.
Hunter felt his stomach drop. His eyes darted to Willow’s, but hers were cast down. She smiled in a way that made his heart ache. His snakes knew exactly what he wanted to say to her, and they were definitely beginning to feel impatient: like they might take the matter on themselves any day now. Before he could begin to put his thoughts into words, Willow raised her eyes to meet his, and moved her face much closer. Their noses were almost touching, and Hunter could barely breathe.
“Hunter?”
“Yes?”
She hesitated. Even Hunter’s snakes had gone quiet and barely moved. Willow’s thumb brushed back and forth across the back of his hand. Hunter’s breathing went from shallow to still.
“Have you ever kissed anyone?”
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your first and last texts of the day always comes from belphie, who makes sure to remember the time schedules of the devildom in relations to the human realm. “good morning, have a good day today.” and "goodnight, sleep well."
sometimes he sends it a bit too early, because he’s afraid of missing when you’ll wake up. other times, it’s too late because his sleepiness catches up to him. those days he sends an apology along with his good morning texts. you’ll tell him that you don’t mind, that receiving them at all makes you happy even if it’s a bit delayed, but he still says it every time.
your next text usually comes from beel, who gets reminded whenever he sees belphie tapping away on his phone. his texts are of the same subject matter every time, “have you eaten yet?” but they’re a good reminder.
you tend to lose weight whenever you go back to the human realm, and it’s obvious for everyone to see so he’s doing everyone a favor by making sure you’re getting enough energy. beel doesn’t remember your schedule has easily as belphie does, so whenever the house of lamentation eats together that’s when he makes sure to remind you.
if you send him a picture of whatever you’re eating it’ll make him ten times happier. it feels as if you’re dining together.
it’s usually around lunch time when you get your first text from satan. while he doesn’t extensively remember your schedule like belphie does, he knows roughly what time you’re working and what time you’re free. his messages always come after a particularly busy hour along with a pep talk.
“working hard? make sure you’re taking proper breaks.” it’s always an energy refresher to read his messages after a particularly hard workload. sometimes he sends you images of stray cats he’s found instead, and you couldn’t be more grateful for his concern and an additional cute kitty as a bonus.
mammon is forbidden to use his phone until after classes at RAD are over, otherwise he would be blowing up your phone with notifications. as soon as the bell rings the first thing he does is whip out his D.D.D. to text you about how boring the lectures were and how he wishes you were here to make everything more fun.
“—and then i got called out for trying to use my D.D.D.! belphie sleeps in his class all the time and he never gets scolded!” your chats with mammon are all over the place, but that’s just exactly how you like them to be. no matter what you’re talking about, no matter how bad the day has been, it never fails to bring a smile to your face.
no matter what time of the day, you're always chatting and keeping up with asmo. other than just getting a notification about his new devilgram posts, he's also always checking in with you every moment he's free.
other than satan, asmo sends you the most amount of pictures. "look! i got my nails done today, the color reminded me of you." most of them are about himself (of course), but he also uses it as an excuse so that you'll send pictures of yourself as well. in addition to beel making sure you're eating and satan making sure you get enough rest, asmo is reminding you practically every day to take care of yourself. he knows you work hard so remember to pamper yourself once in a while!
levi’s usually the last to contact you as the day’s about over. “there’s a special event in mononoke land today, make sure you log on! there’s a special prize for people who clear it in parties of two or more.” his texts are usually always something related to gaming since he’ll get to talk to you in game through voice chat right afterwards.
he’s also the most consistent person that hangs with you during your time in the human realm and the other brothers are pretty jealous about that since your hobbies align.
in contrast to levi, the person who contacts you the least is lucifer. with him being flooded with work for RAD and diavolo while also making sure his brothers don’t cause the devildom to go up in flames when you’re not around—he’s pretty tired.
if you’re lucky you’ll get a good morning text from him once in a while. when lucifer does have the time, however, he makes sure to use up every second of his spare time and more. his first texts always consists of “are you free to call?” followed by “i miss hearing your voice.” and who are you to decline him, really? you miss hearing his voice just as much.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#obey me lucifer#obey me lucifer x mc#obey me mammon#obey me mammon x mc#obey me leviathan#obey me leviathan x mc#obey me satan#obey me satan x mc#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmodeus x mc#obey me beelzebub#obey me beelzebub x mc#obey me belphegor#obey me belphegor x mc#obey me headcanons#just some word vomit b/c i always wonder what it's like when the mc goes back home#edit: added asmo because i was a clown and forgot#i'm sorry queen
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The Novice and The Serpent
Her flames had not quite died, just yet.
Protagonist pants, amid the struggle to keep her speed, to be faster—faster than the thing that gives chase relentlessly, of a slower pace, yet consistent. A stalker who looms closer should the Protagonist stops to catch her breath.
Desperation began to fill her eyes, the dark woods offer little to no help of her plight nor did it console the fact that she's there.
No longer in a dream—as real as that damned deal earlier had been.
Or perhaps, she could climb up. Hide until dawn arrives—then her soul to be left intact, preferably without an alteration of its ownership. After all, the deal says only to escape its grasp until the sun sets its first light, without specifically mentioning hiding as something she wouldn't be permitted of doing.
But on a gloomier prospect, Protagonist knew well why that thing didn't act clever despite its immense power, nor did it gain speed; as It meant to tire out Protagonist—to catch her at last when she no longer possess the strength to continue even a mere walk.
Her thoughts juggled when she slows down. Sounds of broken branches heard just nearby, enough to send her once again on a state of most alert. What once had been stable, is now in disarray.
By the stars, what did they say?
A barrier, you dimwit!
She stopped in a sudden halt, direction turning to her back — to where the footsteps were. Hands forming the shape to invoke a protective barrier, while her mouth chants an ancient draconic tongue.
And that thing, finally, showed itself.
A raven-haired beauty with dark red lips and a hauntingly beautiful black dress, made as if tailored to her figure. Her locks extends to her waist wrapped in a belt studded with black diamonds, and the rest of the dress covers partially of her feet, leaving a slight opening on the front.
Antagonist smiles, a pale hand raised to the air as if palpating an invisible wall that separates them by a few short metres.
"Given up already?"
"Restrategising more like." Protagonist snorts.
"Dearest, you and I both know that giving up isn't such a bad idea." Antagonist slowly walks around the barrier, "I'd make a loving partner in exchange of course, to an eternal subjugation to my affections."
"See, that's where you're wrong. Bad idea starts from wherever the word subjugation is used."
Antagonist lets out a laugh, almost sinister-like in the ambience of the dark forest illuminated merely by the moonlight.
"So, what's the new strategy like?" Antagonist's voice turning more joyful.
"Ah, had you been on my side and let me go, I'd let you in on the whole plan."
"Aw, a little hint then, love?"
Protagonist frowns, "I emerge in victory and you to grant me whatever it is that I wish per our agreement."
"Are you sure?" Antagonist braves another step, only to be blocked by the barrier.
"Positive. I mean, look at you now," Her head tilts, gesturing at the protective wall standing firmly, "The outlook doesn't look that grand at you, huh?"
Dark mist gradually appears from the tip of the Antagonist's fingers, engulfing completely the barrier. Then, translucent cracks gradually forming; earning a panicked look from the Protagonist, prompting her to turn away and run.
However, before there was any momentum to propel her feet, a pair of arms pull her backwards into an embrace. Protagonist half-expects to lose her balance, only to find something forced her to lean on her back on something—
Fuck.
"Love, you should know well that as someone older than a dragon—a dragon magic will do the least to stop me."
Protagonist turns her head, only to be greeted by a gentle kiss that commands her to sleep.
#hero and villain#hero x villain#intimate villain#writing#villain x hero#villain prompt#muse prompt#fantasy prompts#magic#villains and heroes#fxf#wlw#writing drabble#affectionate villain#protagonist x antagonist
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marriage of convenience and hair brushing/braiding for rexwalker, if you feel up to it?
Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.
This ask meme is from over a year ago. Please don't send new prompts.
52. Marriage of Convenience 94. Hair Brushing/Braiding
Is it bad that my first thought is actually inspired by the Ob*kin fic Their fragrance came from you? There's a whole thing about Tatooine marriage braids that my mind immediately jumps to lmao
I think... let's say modern AU. Anakin is a single dad, has been for a few years. Padme died in childbirth, and while her will was made out in favor of Anakin and the kids, the executor of her will was her lawyer-mentor, Palpatine, who couldn't touch the trust funds set up for the twins (which are very large, and will become available when they turn 25, but can only be accessed for education costs before then), but did manage to somehow take almost all the liquid assets left for Anakin in bogus fees.
Anakin's still got the house, but as time passes, he's having more and more trouble with paying the property taxes. He's still managing, but the money Padme left for him is slowly dwindling, and the kids are going to start costing more as they get older, and he's already got Ahsoka living with him (she helps out with the kids so he can work, coding from home, since he's paying for her college tuition; she doesn't have to pay rent since she's a commuter student, and she's got a partial scholarship, but that's still a few thousand a year coming out of Anakin's pocket to put his little sister through underrad). Obi-Wan offered to help, but Obi-Wan lives on the other side of town and even tenured professors don't earn that much, compared to Coruscant's standard cost of living, especially since Obi-Wan adopted recently, a little girl called Reva, and--
Anakin's struggling financially, basically, which isn't a new circumstance, but he really doesn't want to lose Padme's house. Worst comes to worst, he can probably sell it back to Sola so it stays in the Naberrie family, and she'll let him keep living there, but... that's not a sure bet. The Naberries are comfortably wealthy, but it's still an entire house.
Rex, a college friend of Anakin's that went to the same aerospace program, comes back to town. He was on a military tour overseas, but got honorably discharged due to a head injury. Anakin offers to let hm sleep in the guest room, since Padme's house (it's still Padme's, in Anakin's mind), is a lot bigger than Cody's apartment, even if there are toddlers at large. Rex initially promises that he'll only stay long enough to find an apartment of his own, except he overhears Anakin on the phone with Obi-Wan about the finance stuff one day, and reaches out to a few people who have been in town more consistently for a better idea of what's going on without getting too deep into Anakin's business.
Rex manages to get a job locally; there's an airfield for hobbyists a few miles out of town, and the place is looking to hire a new engineer on staff to do repairs and checks on the small planes they keep on site. He starts making noises about moving out, and then, 'subtly,' suggests he just stay at Anakin's place and pay rent.
Anakin does not like the idea of Rex paying rent; friends don't do that! Anakin isn't going to make Rex pay rent in Anakin's home.
They don't talk about it for a few days, and then there's... IDK a night 'off,' where Obi-Wan or Sola or Aayla or Beru takes the twins for an evening, and Ahsoka goes out with friends, so Anakin can take some time off from being a Dad and just Relax.
He and Rex break out the wine, get tipsy not truly drunk, and Rex pokes at the 'just stay here' option again. The house is closer to the airfield than most apartments, and Rex can help take some of the weight off of Anakin and Ahsoka's shoulders with regards to childcare! Even if Anakin won't accept him paying rent!
Anakin argues this. Anakin's kids aren't Rex's responsibility, and Anakin doesn't need his charity (which is, of course, how he views Rex's suggestion). They go back and forth on the topic a few times, and then Rex throws out something about getting married 'for lower taxes' and 'it's not rent if it's my house too, right?' and it's. It's a joke.
Except they're both still thinking about it the next morning, with faint (but not faint enough) memories of a tipsy kiss before bed, and--
Months pass with the two of them circling around each other and Rex never quite moves out, and tax season rolls around, and Anakin is stretched so thin, even with all the cuts for children and covering a dependent's tuition and so on.
Rex quietly floats the idea of a convenience marriage again. It doesn't have to mean anything, if Anakin doesn't want it to. It's not an insult to Padme's memory, just a way of keeping her children in the house she chose for them. And it's not charity, because Rex will get tax cuts too, and better health insurance once Anakin can put him on the family plan he's got. It won't do anything for this year, but by the time the next year rolls around, Anakin will have less of a problem paying those taxes, even if that promotion he's been hoping for doesn't come through.
Anakin, eventually, agrees.
Just four months later, they tie the knot. It's a small ceremony, more than just a courthouse and a paper, just to... well, Anakin wants Rex to have this. Leia and Luke don't entirely understand what's going on, but Ahsoka told them that it means Rex is going to be staying for a lot longer than they originally planned, and they're pretty excited about that part. They're four, and 'Daddy's friend that we like a lot is staying' is pretty clear.
They don't have a 'traditional' wedding night, because they're still both looking at this as a platonic thing (it won't stay that way, but it still is for now). They do share a bed, because someone is sleeping in their guest room (IDK who, maybe a guest was too drunk post-wedding to get home and they just offered the room). Anakin's hair is long enough for an evening of people and, importantly, sticky toddler hands to have tangled it. He washes it out, comes to the bed, and looks so tired--because he had to wash the toddlers first--that Rex offers to brush it for him.
It's intimate. Gentlemanly, but intimate. They go to bed with warm cheeks and pounding hearts, and eventually, one of them rolls onto their side to cuddle.
Neither of them get much sleep that night.
#star wars#the clone wars#rexwalker#captain rex#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#skywalker twins#modern au#obi wan kenobi#phoenix answers memes
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I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT UR AURORA OCS THEY'RE SO COOL!!
AH!! 😃😁😁😁
OK SO,
Aimie (she/her) is young adult mostly-Unadapted Human with some elven ancestry, and the youngest of a not-rich-but-well-off family. She is adventurous and intelligent, yet clumsy and scatterbrained. She's an experimental researcher, and a dual mage with the ability to use Wind and Fire magic. She does a lot of travel, but she kind of has a talent for finding trouble and getting hurt. It's basically a miracle she's still alive, though only Siodha knows how (presumably).
Xynn (they/she) is a young adult coyote Shifter Ferin with Wind Elf heritage. She's frankly badass, and has picked up a lot of miscellaneous skills over the years of supporting themself and her younger sibling (he/him, early/mid teens, still coming up with a name for him... haven't found one that seems right yet), as they were both orphaned at a young age. Despite being extremely competent in most areas, they've had trouble finding work due to most people's treatment of Ferin.
When Aimie's parents (two dads btw) started looking for someone to hire to keep their daughter safe (and alive) on her travels, Xynn is the one they end up hiring. The pay is enough for Xynn to send back to their sibling, who is now old enough that Xynn's job taking her out of town for days or sefs on end isn't a problem.
When Aimie found out about that, she was initially abrasive, insisting that she "doesn't need a babysitter!" but relents after her parents just to try it once and see how it works. After a couple attempts to lose Xynn during their first time traveling together, it became clear that she wasn't gonna get rid of them that easily. Well, they're not bad company, so it's not long before she gets used to it.
Xynn quickly finds out just how accident-prone Aimie really is, to the point where they become very familiar with where the first-aid kit in Aimie's travel bag is. They're also admittedly impressed with how willing and comfortable she is sleeping on the ground with nothing but a single blanket.
They really warm up to each other during an incident when Aimie is startled awake by a snake, and Xynn casually picks it up and assures that it's just a little grass snake and it's not venomous. Despite their attempts to hide it, Aimie learns that Xynn loves snakes. When Xynn starts to try and tone down their excitement, she insists that she doesn't mind one bit, and goes out of her way to make sure they know that she's not going to shame her for it or anything.
During this journey, they both end up infodumping to each other a lot. And when one does, the other listens intently. (ISTG so many of my original character romances consist of one infodumping while the other(s) listen with heart eyes.)
When she's back home, Aimie pleasantly surprises her parents with how cool she was with the new travel arrangement, and that she approves of Xynn coming with her regularly.
Xynn's little sibling asks if the new job is good, and she replies that yes, it is. And they think they like it quite a bit.
Perhaps due to extended amounts of time spent traveling together, perhaps because they genuinely enjoy each others' company, it's not long before they become really close friends.
Xynn quickly figures out her own feelings for their travel companion not long after they start turning into what she considers a problem. They try to distance herself emotionally for a bit, but fails to get their relationship back to what would be considered "professional". They consider quitting for a bit, but she really, really doesn't want to bc they really do like their adventures together. Eventually she makes peace (sort of) with the fact that yes, they're in love with her travel companion, but that nothing would come of it...
In contrast, Aimie doesn't really know when she started to fall for Xynn. She doesn't even realize it for a while, until one day she finally puts a name to her new feelings, but doesn't have the first clue as to how to handle it. She feels like acting on those feelings would be taking advantage of Xynn, especially since by now she knows how much they need this job, so she keeps quiet.
At this point Xynn's told Aimie a fair bit about their sibling, though she's never met him, and Xynn has expressed she doesn't feel comfortable with Aimie knowing where they live. She's not ashamed or hiding it, just doesn't want to show her the barely-held-together shack they call home. Until one day, when Xynn's sibling goes missing, and Xynn asks Aimie for help.
An investigation and a wind missive leads them to find that he has been kidnapped. Pro tip: don't piss off a badass and protective coyote-shifter, and a Wind and Fire mage with very little regard for her own safety. The kidnappers get their asses beat, and Xynn's sibling is brought to safety.
After the rescue, it becomes clear that their previous living situation isn't viable for them anymore. Aimie arranges for them to live with her family, insisting that it's really not a problem, and when Xynn mentions that's not part of the deal she made with Aimie's parents, Aimie insists that it would've been if they'd known how much Xynn and were really struggling. She brings it up with her parents who are hesitant at first, but do a complete 180 when Aimie tells them about how they were living before and about the kidnapping thing, and suddenly Xynn and her sibling have a new, better place to live. Xynn manages to wait until she and Aimie are alone before she finally breaks down, into a mess of tears and "thank you"s. Aimie tells her that, given how often Xynn has saved her ass during their travels, it's only fair.
It's not long after this, that they finally, finally, admit their feelings for each other.
Xynn and Aimie travel together as partners (also Xynn's position with Aimie's folks transfers from hired help, to basically family).
Fun tidbits:
Aimie's magic channels are unevenly sized, her Wind one is higher-capacity than her Fire one (which is fairly small). She's also come up with ways to make larger flames than is natural for her by getting creative with her combination of magic abilities. (She has definitely found an large, empty space with nothing flamable nearby to figure out how to create a small fire tornado. Yes, she did get burned. On the bright side, she learned that awesome new spell.)
Alongside her first-aid supplies, Aimie keeps a small Life lacrima and in her travel bag for emergencies. She's had to use it less often when Xynn started traveling with her, both because they help prevent a number of accidents and because she can do first aid for Aimie when she can't do it for herself.
One time Xynn saved Aimie from getting bit by a venomous snake, but it resulted in them getting bit instead. When Aimie is taking care of the wound they reassure her that the poison won't be fatal, especially to a ferin, and she'll recover in no time and it'll be fine. Aimie asks how they're feeling, and at this point Xynn is comfortable enough with her, to admit that this is kind of the coolest thing to ever happen to them.
Xynn got a gift from Aimie that was a book she found about snakes. Xynn freaking loves it.
Aimie, affectionately: "where would I be without you?" / Xynn, equally affectionate: "dead, probably"
Aimie's joins Xynn's sibling as the only ones allowed to cuddle coyote Xynn
#I didn't realize just how excited I was to talk about my girls#but then I drew them and got really excited and then you asked and evidently got excited enough to type this whole thing lol#I think I'll share some of my writing about them in the future :)#long post#comic aurora#comicaurora#aurora webcomic#aurora comic#aurora#aurora ocs#comic aurora ocs#ocs#original characters
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I woke up from a nightmare and I'm actually concerned about my mental health.
I need to start taking my mental health more seriously, not that I wasn't before but I need to do so much better. I am so scared of losing touch with reality, since I was younger that anxiety has been there, and then I watched Shutter Island and my brain has been more fearful since. I've accepted I am unwell due to things like my depression, having dissociated parts and experiencing hologram-like flashbacks because of my PTSD. But it's like I'm setting myself up to fail even more. I'm setting myself up to become more and more "unwell" and that's what needs to stop. I think part of feeling so unwell has been talking about my OCD thought processes too. I've been talking to my cousin and friends about how it feels like my thoughts are directly responsible for the fate of those around me and myself. I know that comes under magical thinking and thought neutralising and finally talking about that makes me scared I'm going crazy. Very similar to how bad my anxiety was when Dead Brother died and I thought that I caused it because I told others what he had done. I have to keep reminding myself that I do not wield that power and talking about it all will not make me go crazy but get me the help I deserve. At times I feel like talking about it will make me go crazy and then I need to seek reassurance that I'm actually okay which now that I'm typing this all out might just be part of the OCD. But regardless I need to do better for myself.
I often don't get enough sleep or sleep at the completely wrong time, I don't drink enough water and drink so much alcohol. I go weeks to months at times without seeing people and only speak to people on my phone. I don't eat enough either and arguably these are all things and behaviours from struggling with my mental health which isn't wrong but it isn't helping either. I can't afford to be losing my mind by myself at home. There is so much more I could be doing and I'm not saying it'll be easy but I can start with seeing Someone once a week. Unless I'm talking to someone on my phone I'm talking to my cat or myself and yeah that's bad! I should be leaving my house a minimum of twice a week anyway and I don't but I really need to.
I get these moments where I am so stressed out that it's like I'm on 100 and I feel I have all this energy not in the sense that I'm doing 101 things, but it just feels like my brain can't stop to think because then it'll be faced with a bunch of flashbacks and trauma memories so it keeps me going and going and going to not have a chance to think. I actively need to tell myself to stop and calm down because thinking about things won't kill me. I know at times it feels like remembering will but it won't but carrying on like this is just exacerbating my mental health.
I think I need to get out of the house, and I know this is severely limited because of my fibro but even just sitting in a cafe close to home during school hours can be enough. I need to stop being so alone all the time because it's not healthy and I can feel my brain slipping. I'm way too comfortable being isolated at home and nothing good comes from that! I don't even take a walk outside I'm always just stuck indoors and yeah no. There has never been a period where I have been home consistently for this long. I went from school to college to working full time and this only stopped because of the accident. It's understandable but it's making my mental health so much worse.
I also need to do everything in my power to get my medication for my sleep sorted out. It doesn't help that taking new meds scares me and that I'm sensitive to taking things but regardless not sleeping is not helping. At all. Lack of sleep makes my mental health dip like crazy and it does so very quickly. I need to get my sleep sorted and I know I'm writing this at 4am but that's the whole problem. I can't even take the medication I have because of alcohol (a vodka bottle that I've now poured down the sink) and that's where everything gets messy. Idk what the point of this post was except getting it out of my mind but I just know that I can't and don't want to carry on like this.
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Have a Good Night Sleep, Dogday AU
Alternative:
Finally, after an month and an half of month, am finally finished.
Before I start i wanted to take back both things I said in my WIP.
When I said its cartoon world, i actually meant was its mostly take place in the cartoon world. it really an Imagination world, as you'll see what I meant during this post.
What i actually meant about its not a shipping au, its not a shipping au between Dogday and CatNap specifically. well there is no couple pairing of the critters existing, just crushes. but its never important at all (besides it only 2 critters.)
Now there is some things that are related to the bigger bodies however it has nothing to do with bigger bodies dogday nor catnap at all. it just about the cartoon world. So not even worshiping prototype exists here.
and I apologize for any grammar mistake I miss.
Anyway on to the post!
About:
About Have a Good Night Sleep, Dogday or HGNSD AU
In a nutshell, it basically two children created entire storyline about Dogday trying to find a way for CatNap to turn back to normal. At least what Dogday thinks because if there was a way to strengthen Catnap (dark essence bottle), then there has to be a way to get him back to normal.
The previous storyline before the brother came was just smiling critters just doing normal activities.
Originally the au was post to be slightly similar to 2016 stuff, but I think it not really "2016" like anymore. This series is post be animated on youtube only, but i have no idea if i should since i need motivation and still have to practice my animation skills.
Just note, some characters personalities are the same, but just altered a bit or a lot. Then the other altered completely
Anyway lets start with the characters that no one will cares about first!
Welcome to the Yearwoods Family.
Family Photo Link
It was- I mean is a happy family! The family are Christians. The family consists 2 children and a sphynx cat
All names of the family are: Mr. Yearwood, Mrs. Yearwood, Amber Yearwood and Kevin Yearwood. (the parents are nameless)
the cat name is pinky. (its a girl)
Out of the 4, Amber and Kevin are the important ones.
Amber and Kevin
Whenever Amber goes to school, she's bullied. She hates it as it ruins her self esteem. But she claims that she's fine and she don't need any help.
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Amber and Kevin gets along. Though, Kevin likes teasing and playfully making fun of his sister a lot. Amber usually ignores him or just pretty much says its not funny. Overall, they love each other as siblings.
Every day they play with the smiling critters toys before their mom tells them to go to bed. Amber sleeps with catnap toy or sometimes craftycorn.
Amber and Kevin playstyle is different. Though at the end, they're both obviously equally immature.
Amber's Playstyle:
Amber plays a CatNap, not shocking.... She sometimes play as the other critters (most likely CraftyCorn), but she mainly plays CatNap. And i mean main, she doesn't even let her brother play CatNap for once.
Amber is good with crafting an story, but very very bad at power scaling.
usually when she plays the other critters, they act bit more mature. However when she plays a CatNap, she either being serious or being a joke. there is no in-between.
One of the running gags of the Au is CatNap's powers. He keeps gaining new ability every time. Amber is doing that deliberately so she can win, and counter her brother every time. However when her brother starts winning, she gets annoyed and slightly mad when she starting to lose. But its the entire fact she wants CatNap to win entirely. by going as far as weakening the other critters.
She also pull the "nuh uh" or miss despite the attack was obviously undodgeable.
Kevin's Playstyle:
Whatever Kevin plays the critters, its more jokes and being unserious. sometimes he be serious but then its ruined with an joke. He mainly plays Dogday but he do play other critters. He gave Dogday powers because he thinks its more fair to have everyone with powers. Despite Kevin joking a lot, his powers are usually kind of balanced (expect for the fact Dogday is kind of op not as op as Catnap.) Dogday gains powers too but only if he learns something. The brother often wins.
Kevin likes overdramatizing fights, dark scenes and using powers, mostly because he watch too much action tv shows.
Now that's done, let get to the real AU.
Welcome to Sunnyville!
(i literally had to compressed the file omfg, this stupid image lags so hard everytime i open it..)
Here's a better close up version
Sunnyville is the brightest and cheerful town around! This is the main location where the Smiling Critters resides in. The positivity and good vibes came from Smiling Critters themselves.
There's more than one groups as the known ones are Smiling critters, Nega Bratzz, The Quacking Sisters, and The Ordinarys
The town is mostly nice however there are bullies (Nega Bratzz and The Quaking Sisters), but it doesn't quite override the sheer amount of positivity. Smiling Critters has a reputation in this town, often for their upbeat attitude. Outside of the critters group, Dogday is well liked by adults, awhile children thinks KickinChicken is cool. Not all though fine with their upbeat attitude, especially Nega Bratzz.
The houses are altered but Every single Night, Catnap's house changes.
Well not the exterior, But just the interior does.
The interior becomes an nearly endless mansion with whole bunch of halllways and rooms. turning back around doesn't get no better. Once enter his house, the doors are shut tight enough for no one to escape.
The inside of Catnap's house is described as an dream world or illusion world. Once entered here and manage to end up falling asleep or become unconscious, it would be treated as if the critters was dreaming the entire time. That's because when the sunrises, the interior turns back to normal. Any injury is also gone.
example:
The "illusion house" is quite dangerous, due to it being unpredictable unknown danger. Some rooms are safe, awhile others are not. Some could be neutral awhile other could be a trap. The critters will never know.
Aside from catnap's house, DogDay's house been redesigned in this au too.
Smiling Critters Section
Enough explaining everything else but the critters!
The story mostly revolves around Dogday and CatNap. KickinChicken is an major character. The other critters are very important too, but not as much.
Once wholesome positive team, is now a distressed team. Smiling Critters has to work together to solve this mystery of Catnap and the happenings that are caused by him. Awhile they try to solve Catnap awhile balancing their routines.
At day, Smiling critters just do their normal routine, get ready, eat, play, eat... But as soon as its Night, that's the where the real kicker is. Majority of the events that happens in this AU, takes place at night. At the moment, no one but outside of Smiling Critters area knows what's going on with Catnap.
They try to gather clues and research CatNap to get understanding on what their facing.
The Critters acts like their description.......somewhat. its altered a bit.
About the Other form i mentioned on the about, what was the so called form am I talking about? Well its called Enhanced Form. Enhanced forms are magical forms that gives a smiling critter powers. In order for an Smiling Critter to be enhanced, Dogday must enhance them, as he the only one who is able to do it.
Enhanced forms are strong, at least strong enough to fight the CatNap.
In order for an Critter to transform into Enhanced form, Dogday must use his powers to enchant the pendant (on the necklace). Then, the critter can either grabs the pendant tightly or smack it, causing them to transform into enhanced form.
Dogday can change at will, but he does not have enhanced form, but rather just a stronger form. Though, Dogday don't even need to transform, he can still use half of his abilities without it.
When a critter transforms, their pendant changes too.
An Critter can de-transform by either de-transforming willingly or when they become unconscious.
I will now talk about the Smiling critters separately.
Dogday the Guardian of the Sun:
Makes sense to start with the titular character of this AU.
Dogday is the main character of HGNSD.
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
Dogday is an early bird, he tends to wake up everyone to get the day started. Excluding CatNap, He's the last critter to go to sleep.
full content (but also not) of how Dogday gained his powers: Dogday was slammed multiple times by Catnap (due to the fact he rebelled, fight back and took the risk of letting himself be the one getting the punches instead of his friends), before tossing him to a deep pit. The pit had spikes at the very bottom. Despite Dogday was clearly about to die, he still had some hope and determination left...causing gain powers and fly upwards in result.
Dogday is more powerful than any other critters. He can even sometimes surpass Catnap's powers. Dogday's powers deals with the sun aka light. Dogday's powers are 2x stronger at day but at night, its normal strength of the power.
The AU name is post to be ironic (really just an bullying title since dogday cannot even go to sleep properly because of CatNap) but at the same time, its foreshadowing something.
Dogday is traumatized, but he doesn't show it.
He was horrified at the state of Catnap tall self. But after dealing with him for so long, he's desensitized to it. doesn't means that's a good thing though.
Dogday gets insulted a lot, he gets upset a little but it doesn't really effect him completely. The only thing that effects him is the fact his best friend is even like this at all.
Other Critters
Now the main character is out of the way, let's talk about the other critters (expect for Catnap). They will be ordered from most important to the least important.
KickinChicken the Guardian of the Stars:
(i added the bottom beak on purpose)
Let's start with kickin'
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
KickinChicken is most likely the one who defends his friends from bullying.
KickinChicken powers deal with stars and light. He is almost as strong as DogDay.
He often sacrifice himself in order for his friends to escape to find safety. If Dogday is almost there to being killed, he jumps in to prevent it. Because of his sacrifices....he almost had access to change into form at will permanently.
He was able to change into his enhanced form twice without Dogday's assistance. But it happened in two different circumstances. not to mention sudden change, but it was in a necessary moment.
KickinChicken and Dogday works together sometimes.
No matter how much an critter insults KickinChicken, it doesn't bother him. In fact, he will twist the insult into a positive one.
He considers Hoppy Hopscotch his best friend. They both have an friendly rivalry when comes to any game. They get a bit too competitive....almost destructive sometimes. They always doing the "am better than you" attitude. If one of them lost, they take the lost but still cocky.
KickinChicken usually compliments himself and looks at the mirror in his bathroom.
Kickinchicken secretly can sing. He didn't tell anyone because he wanted it to be personal for him only. Until catnap exists and ruins everything. There's concept designs of kickinchicken in his singer outfit design, but i hadn't finalized it.
CRAFTYCORN the Guardian of Colors:
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
More info about her own magic: she has an specific book to learn her own abilities. She tries to learn her own magic, but it pretty much hard for her too. She struggles to use her magic, when it successful, its usually something small. In her enhanced form, she able to use her magic like she trained for years.
Sometimes Craftycorn's magic is successful either under concentration or distress. And sometimes it fails. She also the only critter who can create her own form without Dogday's help. Though it isn't an enhanced form, but rather a different form.
Craftycorn one day wants her art be display in a muesum
In her enhanced form, she has the powers of creation, unicorn magic and color. Making her quite strong. She only has on specific healing ability called Revival. she can only use this on one critter awhile focusing, and if she gets distracted, the progress will fail.
Craftycorn sometimes ends up finding out some stuff before anyone else.
Craftycorn one time was able to beat Catnap without help.
Craftycorn has a crush on Dogday, she didn't at first though. She was saved by Dogday, causing her to gain a crush on him since then (omg its almost like proto-). She been drawing a lot of pictures of him closed doors.
Sometimes she plays chess with Bubba Bubbaphant. She loses mostly.
Bubba Bubbaphant the Guardian of Intelligence:
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
Bubba Bubbaphant has the power of vision, intelligence and detection. He is able to rewind to able to see an vision from the past. Since he most likely using his powers for investigating, making clues and ideas for any sign for an cure.
When bubba bubbaphant is targeted, he sometimes gets it the worst than Dogday, simply because "he's smart". For example, everyone else will get tied up in one way, but bubba bubbaphant will have 15 different ways of being tied and caged to make sure he doesn't try to strategize to escape at all.
Bubbe Bubbaphant pacifism caused injuries. He never try to switch sides, he's still standing his ways.
When Dogday first gain his powers, He went to Bubba Bubbphant to figure things out. Though Bubba Bubbaphant obviously could not answer how to deal with his powers. So instead he tries to study both Dogday's and Catnap's powers.
Bubba Bubbphant had try to to keep up with Catnap's powers, but he clearly wants to give up at this point because its way too much. Its stressing him out
Hoppy Hopscotch the Guardian of Energy:
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
Hoppy Hopscotch powers are lighting, super speed, super jump and energy. She can charge herself by simply running.
Hoppy and KickinChicken are friendly rivals mostly competitive in games. Though Hoppy is usually the one ends up making it more destructive then it originally is. She usually try to win, by doing things faster. She also view kickinchicken as her best friend.
Extension of the trained fighter: When using her fighting skills, she usual attacks fast. Awhile Hoppy was teaching Dogday, she accidentally gives him bruises in the beginning...
She can be just as cocky as kickinchicken sometimes without using the better than you phrase.
When she is being insulted, she usually insult back.
Even when its fighting with Catnap, she still wants an challenge.
Here an example of one of her sports form
Bobby Bearhug the Guardian of Love:
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
Bobby Bearhug have the powers of healing, enchantment and love. She is able to heal multiple critters at once or strengthen them. Her attacking ability is life drain. She discover this by accident.
Due to Bobby Bearhug's pacifism, she gets injured too but not as bad as Bubba Bubbaphant.
She's has been bullied a lot, despite it all she still wants to show love. She don't really judge anyone, despite people judge her.
She does care about Dogday's situation, at the same time she just feel sympathy for Catnap.
Bobby Bearhug can cook, she mostly bakes though. Her food is delicious.
PickyPiggy the Guardian of Food:
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
PickPiggy have the power of food and mixing. That's it. She's considered the weakest critter out of all the powers. At least she can create certain foods that isn't possible.
She is not a cooker at all, despite having cooking related powers. Instead, she just be the first one at the table when the food ready. Getting large portions of foods....no wonder there's no leftovers in the fridge. (no she doesn't eat the ENTIRE cooked meal, she does let her friends get a plate too.)
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CATNAP SECTION
Now....Catnap.. well now you saw how everyone views catnap or at least treat him. Its only right to finally show him now, yes?
He needs his own separate section.
Catnap is the main antagonist of the story.
Catnap....:
Other things that I didn't add due to space?:
Truly everyone is guessing what happened to Catnap, cause no one has no clue.
Catnap powers are either the most strongest or the most weakest... I cannot pick, blame the kids. Catnap has so many powers, even god give up. His powers are the negative versions of dark, psychic, moon, and dreams. He also can send more smokes in his nightmare form, which is from his spores that's on his back. The advantage he has over everyone, his powers at night are 10x stronger....so he can take down all the critters. However the massive downgrade, at daytime, all of his powers goes bye bye, he cannot even turn forms either. He stuck back to just Catnap. Only power he can use is transporting from dark areas. So when the sunrises, he slowly turns back to normal size.
Lunar/Third Quarter Form is usually what he changes into the most, its a mix between the regular form and Nightmare's powers but not having all of its powers. This form is somewhat comic relief. This is where most the jokes be, in this form.
Nightmare form is the most strongest, as he usually do not talk in form. He either wants to put fear or he was extremely angry to change into this form.
Out of all the critters, he believes bobby bearhug is the most insane, ironic.
Catnap at first hated the boot like socks in Lunar form, but ends up being fine with it because it was comfortable.
Unlike the canon og Catnap, catnap committing evil is a complete mystery...or the fact the kids never planned one. who knows.
He has the able to put critters inside a cocoon-like substance, to make them live inside their own nightmare. The victim actually has to find the way to break out of it..somehow
He got the name Boogeyman due to teleporting underneath hoppy's bed and kidnapping her.
Catnap likes pretending to be an magician.
Past Catnap usually likes being around areas that was calm and peaceful. any interruption would startle him.
Past Catnap used go to Bobby to talk about private stuff. Not things that between Dogday and Him though.
He's the only critter in the smiling critters group to not have an enhanced form
Catnap can change his eyes at will. but nightmare form he cannot.
He owns the Lair, which the lair only appears at night. its no where to be seen at day. He got an lair later in the story because he wanted to craft his plans far away from the smiling critters sometimes.
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Now for last one its relationship between Dogday and Catnap (also my last picture i can even post i reach my limit :()
Other things that I didn't add due to space:
Catnap equally insults Dogday, calling Dogday "DogStupid" because he believes that Dogday is actually stupid. Catnap actually insulted Dogday first.
Rarely, Catnap doesn't attack Dogday on certain days, as he sometimes target someone else.
Every since Dogday gained powers, Catnap been obsessed with trying to gain his powers. Mostly because he wants to torture him so that Dogday wouldn't be able to defend himself or enhance anyone no more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End !! now for the extras and Concepts! sorry no images.
---
Concepts/Removed:
Originally there was going be humans in the cartoon world. Because how care bears and the old MLP had humans. There was 2 humans that was along with the Smiling Critters, Oliver and Maxwell. Oilver would have blond hair pigtails and pink overalls and Maxwell had brown hair. Oliver was the confident feminine girl awhile Maxwell was a curious boy. She and Maxwell would've helped the smiling critters. Oliver would've try to fight Catnap but Catnap wouldn't even attack her, but rather put her somewhere safe.
In continuation of the humans concept, there was going be a castle way up in the sky, as the only way to access it is through a magic beanstalk. The castle had a princess named princess balloobow. She is a human with powers. She would've attempted to cure Catnap's evil but it would failed. She also would've been the one who taught Dogday on how to use his powers properly.
lastly of the human concept, in some epsiodes, The smiling critters would've travel all over the world to find the cure. having an adventure and meeting new people or critters. Catnap still would've been a villain during those adventures. They would've have got clues about the cure, the origins of Dogday's abilities, an hint about what happen to Catnap and the mystery of the current Catnap. However during those travels, Catnap would've slowly become stronger...due to collecting stuff. Dogday would've also become stronger, from looking at the ancient stuff. Sometimes in their travel, they would help people or other critters.
Catnap would've an fourth form called Disenchant form, being the opposite of enhanced form.
The original name of this au was called Nighttime with Catnap. it was also called Smiling Critters and Shenanigans.
Dogday and Current Catnap was originally considered frenemies.
~~~~~~~
Origin of this AU
This start off as an one-off joke where Dogday staying up all night playing videogames with Kickinchicken. Dogday was trying to keep himself awake until he fall asleep. As soon he woke up he was chained up on his own bed, just to find Catnap smiling at him. Catnap says he's about to punish him because he surpass his healthy sleeping schedule and decides to punish him by forcing him to watch Megamind 2. Dogday beg for mercy but Catnap turns it on, causing Dogday try to struggle to escape and scream.
----
Extras
Pickypig is the only character to even question why don't they just attack Catnap at daytime because he's basically weak. (the reason is because the smiling critters do not want to cause commotion and attract large attention from the people in the town)
Possessed Dogday exists in this au, but ill talk about it on another post. Just so you know, He did not get his body controlled in the same way the bigger bodies Dogday was.
Amber first ever toy was the poppy playtime doll. every single smiling critters came out, she abandoned her, but she still in her room.
-----------------------------
End of the actual post ! ! this took too long, and i might forget to add certain details as usual. anyway i hope you enjoy the post, see ya
#the smiling critters#smiling critters#craftycorn#poppyplaytime dogday#dogday#smiling critters fanart#poppy playtime#poppy playtime 3#smiling critters au#catnap#smiling critters catnap#poppy playtime au#hoppy hopscotch#poppy playtime hoppy#bubba bubbaphant#picky piggy#kickinchicken#bobby bearhug#joke au#magical girl au#i don't know if this even counts as an magical girl au seriously.#fanart
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૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ╱ real talk sentence starters pt 1 ( created using lyrics from man overboard's real talk album. feel free to adjust to fit your muse. )
you could say one of two things
call me sometime or let's hang out
maybe i could help you out
stop acting like you'll ever see me again and like i don't have you figured out
i understand how it works
on paper, we're similar people
we're different people
you're tearing down the walls i built
tell your wrecking crew i welcome you
when the days slow down this summer don't forget
i did two years in your silhouette
your jaws of steel never forgave
it's haunting the way silence sounded
if i fucked up long ago, i'm sorry
i didn't realise it counted
it just wouldn't work out
that's what i'm telling myself
we're just two different people
it's eleven thirty at night
you're in your bed nice and tight
maybe you're dreaming of me
i am calling you
i am wishing you were here
i hope i didn't annoy you today
you answered anyway
i am hearing you
wishing i could feel you too
i miss her
i wanted to tell her
i spoke to myself in the mirror for a while tonight
i made a promise that i would never fuck up having you in my life
i think you're my favourite girl i've ever met
i bought a new notebook for the road
covered it with your area code
it's tattooed by the pen and i wish it was my home
i kinda hate everyone i know
lately i've been feeling so low
come get inside my bed
you make me feel dead by being out there in the unknown
just like a dream
she called me kinda late last night
said she knew everything
all those pretty little words came out
just like i planned she fell into my arms again
i could pretend that i would lie right here forever and wait for the end
you're right we should be together
tonight i could make it better if i just gave up on my stupid little fantasy world
you're right, that was a fake smile
you're right i am in denial
i should just go home to my perfect little fantasy girl
you're my fantasy girl
she crept back up inside my bed
said that she missed everything
all those words that made me fall came out
just like a trap, everything just fell right back
we were on tracck
i could lie with her all night now and wait to react
always turning out for the worst
you were always my most consistent curse
i hope this gets you kind of heated or stings a little if you even read it
bringing everyone down
you left this house feeling empty
it's better than feeling like it's burning to the ground
i can't live with you around anymore
you're blocking out the sound outside my door
i found more
i can't remember all the times that i almost had bruises for being on your side
now i hope that someone gets to you
see you around
you were alright back when we were young
you don't compare to anything that i've found
i wrote you down a letter before i went to sleep
it had all the secrets i could no longer keep
i held them in for so long i was going to break
maybe now i can rest and you will lay awake
i've been trying to escape but something keeps calling me
a feeling i can't shake
the darkness has swallowed me
i can't move fast enough to ditch what has followed me
lighting strikes everything that i touch
this is how it feels for me to be on my own
the sadness has cut me down to the bone
it's so bad
i don't think i'll make it home tonight
there's not enough light in your house that you could leave on for me tonight
there's not enough fights i could lose to justify how i feel tonight
if this would come true, i wonder what's really real tonight
if this makes any sense at all then push my back up against the wall
try calling your friends and asking what they have heard
you're looking for the gossip and hanging on every word
i'm not made
it's cute, it's actually absurd
i can't believe someone loves me so much
i've been failing every test and late for the makeup
left alone at your request as you do your make up
i know that i won't make this alright before it's over now tonight
i know that this won't be the last time i walk these streets
i hang my head
i wish i was dead
at my best, i'd suggest i've been weird since she left
it's normal autumn stuff
i guess i never thought enough
look at me
almost free from my crippling disease
shoot bullets through my foot
i think that'd work out real good
call me out
she's calling me out
i guess she didn't know better
she called me out
i guess that's why she's got her own man now
she's doing fine
she's got her own man now
what's she talking about>
at my best, put to test i'd score average or less
i can't apply myself
if i could just untie myself
she wants the yes's
gets the no's
before long there she goes
i guess she dug too deep
now she's just too bugged to sleep
you made yourself the guest of honor
the party got stopped and everybody just went home
#rp memes#rph#content: mine#rpt#rp sentence meme#memes: mine#roleplay memes#rp sentence prompts#rp promts#rp help#rpc
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Drowning
Characters: Reader, Sam Winchester (Soulless!Sam), Dean Winchester (mentioned)
Pairing: Soulless!Sam x Reader
Summary: And, sometimes, it was just too hard to keep her mind from wandering in search of him.
Square/s Filled: “Squirting” (@spnkinkevents), "Free Space" (TMAS Bingo - @supernatural-jackles), "Wap - Cardi B"(@anyfandomkinkbingo)
Warnings: angst, smut, oral (fem rec, male rec), finger fucking, sex, p in v, unprotected sex, squirting, face fucking, creampie
Rating: +18
Words count: 3173
Beta: @snowlovespie
A/N: Hi!🖤 So, I wrote this story for the fantastic @negans-lucille-tblr and her blogiversary. Congratulation on your achievement, love! My prompt was this one: "Missing you comes in waves, and tonight I’m drowning.", you'll find it in bold. I decided to experiment a bit this time, so here we are with my first fic about Sam. I really had fun writing this one not only because I went out of my comfort zone, but also because I ended up writing something quite different from the usual with some usual plot twist, 'cause you know how much I like them. I hope you'll enjoy it. Let me know what you think. 🖤
Everything had changed after Lucifer and the cage.
She thought the worst was to say goodbye to Sam and learning to live without that giant dork. She wasn’t ready for that - nobody was.
No one told her that losing Sam would mean losing Dean too. He left that same night with a simple hug, a really too-quick goodbye, leaving her behind.
She thought that even if he stopped hunting, they could still keep in touch. She realized her mistake and felt so stupid for thinking he would have answered her. Not while he was busy living a life miles away from her and Bobby. Not while he was committed to a whole new life with his new family – with Lisa.
Yeah, that was what hurt her most. Knowing that somewhere else he was laughing and kissing and sleeping with the same stranger, someone who wasn't her.
She shut close her eyes, shaking her head to get rid of all those images.
God…she felt so stupid, still thinking about him after all this time, and the nights were always the worst because it was just too hard to keep her mind from wandering.
Missing Dean came in waves, and tonight – oh tonight – she was drowning while staring at the bottom of her half-empty glass.
She downed the rest of the whiskey and immediately asked for another round, taking the glass in her fingers with a deep sigh as the bartender served her again.
“Well, happy birthday to me.”
Y/N murmured, bringing the glass to her lips and drinking the whisky in one go, feeling the alcohol burn her throat. She slammed the glass down on the counter, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut.
Sensing someone had taken a seat beside her, she opened one eye to glance at the newcomer, relaxing immediately when she recognized Sam.
Right, Sam.
He was back. No one was quite sure how it had happened, but he was back, and that was what mattered - that and the fact that he wasn't a demon.
At first, when she saw him in Bobby's living room, she hoped they could just pick up where they left off. Until Bobby made her realize that wasn't going to happen. It was a very short conversation, consisting of two sentences.
Two sentences that, to that day, she didn’t know who hurt more – her or Bobby.
At least she had Sam back, which was both good and bad. Don't get her wrong: she was happy to have her friend back. Still, sometimes it was hard to look at him without thinking of Dean. Tonight, was one of those times.
“What are you doing here, Winchester?”
“Bobby told me where to find you.”
Y/N rolled her eyes as Sam raised his arm and motioned for the barman to bring two more drinks.
“What do you need?”
“Why do I have to need something?”
“Because that’s how it usually works with you, guys.”
Sam smiled and raised his hands in surrender, knowing full well that she had caught him.
“Alright, alright. I thought we could have celebrated your birthday together.”
“Thanks, Sam, but I’m not in the mood.”
Sam took the drinks and thanked the barman. He kept one for himself and handed the other to Y/N. He remained silent for a few seconds, just staring and studying her more.
“Is this about Dean?”
Y/N scoffed at his words, looking at Sam as if he were nuts to even think such a thing. Well, he wasn't, but she had to keep what was left of her dignity.
“What? No.”
Sam frowned in disbelief. Y/N glared at him, hoping he would drop the subject, but he seemed to be on a different frequency lately.
“C’mon, Y/N, I know you used to spend all your birthdays with Dean. I was there a few times, remember?”
Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes, and letting Sam know how annoyed she was with him at the moment.
“Okay, fine, so what?”
“So, don’t let that stop you from celebrating, just because he’s not here.”
She sighed and looked down at the glass in front of her.
“He’s out there leaving his life and, sooner or later, you have to move on, and this seems to be a time as good as any.”
Y/N glanced at him, knowing he was right, and there was nothing she could say about it. She sighed, defeated, rubbing her eyes with her fingertips.
“So…”
She paused, looking to Sam for help. He seemed to sense her hesitation, so he grabbed both glasses and handed her one, which she took.
“So, we’re going to celebrate, you and me. I know I’m not Dean, but I promise you, we’ll have fun.”
They clinked the glass together before gulping down the whiskey.
They drank, laughed, and danced until the bartender hadn’t almost kicked them out. She really had had fun, though. Y/N hadn’t laughed that much in a very long time, and neither of them was ready to end their night.
So, they kept moving until they stumbled into Sam’s motel room, and one thing led to another. She’d known it was a big mistake the moment their lips touched, but that hadn’t been enough to stop her.
She couldn't even blame the alcohol. She could only blame herself and her weakness, but a year was a long time, and she longed for someone's touch. And even if Sam wasn't the one she really wanted, he was at least the one who was close enough to her, and that thought alone had hurt. So, she kissed him harder, and he kissed her back, matching Y/N same hunger. With their mouths pressed together, they began to push and pull their clothes off.
Their shirts were the first to hit the floor, leaving them both panting. Their eyes roamed over each other’s bodies. Y/N felt too self-conscious as she tried to unbutton her jeans. She unzipped them and let’em slide down her legs. Sam watched her every move, licking his lips in anticipation.
Y/N couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at her like that. She shuddered as she unhooked the clasp of her black lace bra, letting it slide down her arms and onto the floor. Sam grabbed her neck and pressed his mouth against hers. The kiss was rough and messy. He bit his lip and then ran his tongue over it. And just as he cupped her breast with his hands, Y/N wondered if Dean would have kissed her in the same way. Sam's fingers pinching her already hard nipples pushed that thought away.
She reached for his belt, unbuckled it and pulled down his trousers. The boxers were next. Pulling them down enough to free his cock, she wrapped her fingers around his shaft, stroking the tip. At that, Sam moaned into Y/N's mouth, bucking his hips against her. He ran a hand through her hair, tugging at it with his fingers to encourage her to kneel, and she took the hint.
She stroked it and, not taking her eyes off him, licked a strip of his cock, swirling her tongue around the head, tasting the pre-cum.
Y/N couldn't resist, so she took him in her mouth, closed her eyes and began to suck on his length.
Would Dean taste the same?
Would he moan the same way?
She got wetter and wetter with every lick, moan and thrust. Releasing Sam's cock with a loud pop, Y/N breathed deeply as she stroked his shaft, her other hand fondling his balls. He grunted, tightening the grip on the back of her head as his hand replaced hers on his shaft.
“Open up.”
She opened her mouth as she was told and stuck out her tongue. At the sight of Y/N on her knees in front of him, Sam growled and slapped his cock on her tongue once, twice, three times before pushing it through her lips.
She took it in, sucking as best she could, as Sam jerked his hips back and forth.
Y/N felt saliva running down her chin as he mouth-fucked her. With both hands on his hips, for balance, she closed her eyes.
She had spent several sleepless nights imagining herself kneeling, with Dean's cock in her mouth, fucking her the way Sam was doing it. And on those nights, the thought alone had made her come on her fingers all the time and one flick of Sam’s fingers on her clit would have had the same result in that moment.
Sam rocked in and out until he felt too close to the edge, so he stepped back, helped her up and quickly crushed his mouth against hers. She kissed him back as his hands moved down her body, searching for her panties. He tore them off and slid his fingers between her legs, which she spread a little, moaning at the feel of his fingers circling her clit.
“Fuck, you’re so wet. Is that all for me?”
Y/N bit her lower lip, nodding at the question, her eyes never leaving Sam's. He pressed his forehead against hers, mingling their breaths, grinning.
“Liar.”
Her eyes widened, but she had no time to say anything as he slid two fingers inside her, pushing them faster and faster, eagerly nipping at her nipples with his lips, making Y/N thrust against his hand.
“Oh, God…”
Y/N whimpered, clenching tightly around his fingers while he kept moving them, working her through the orgasm.
When it became too much, he slid his digits out and brought them to her lips, and she promptly welcomed them, sucking and moaning at the taste of herself on her tongue.
When she let them out, Sam captured her mouth in a sloppy kiss and urged them both towards the bed.
He put his hands on her hips and turned her over. Once her back was pressed against his chest, Sam's hands moved up Y/N's body, cupping her breasts and enjoying every moan as he nibbled at her earlobe.
“Hands and knees on the bed.”
Sam watched as she positioned herself in the middle of the bed with her legs spread wide, making him growl at the sight of her glistening pussy on full display. Unable to resist the urge to taste it, he stood behind Y/N and licked and sucked her folds once, twice, three times.
She bit her lips and gripped the sheets so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
Sam trailed kisses up the skin of her back until he reached her shoulders, sinking his teeth there and making her moan. She had never been more desperate to fill that void.
He nuzzled her neck, licking a strip of skin, holding her in place as he took his cock to rub it a few times across her wet folds, grazing her opening with the tip.
Y/N closed her eyes in anticipation, feeling herself stretch around his girth inch by inch.
Once buried inside her, he stood still, giving Y/N time to get used to his size. Panting into her ear, his hands roamed down her body to pinch her perky nipples. Sam moved his hips back, already feeling her breathing get heavier, feeling how wet her pussy was getting and how tight it was clenching around his shaft, so he pushed into her again. She tried to move, desperately wanting him to go a little faster, a little harder, but Sam was quicker, stopping her hips with his hands, slowing the pace.
One of his hands gripped Y/N's neck, pulling her closer to his chest. As he increased the rhythm of his thrusts, she humored Sam's hips as best she could, feeling the wetness slide down her trembling legs.
Would it have felt that good to have Dean inside her?
Usually, it was – in her dreams at least. Dean would fuck her that way, with his chest pressed to her back, a hand around the neck, and the other rubbing her clit just the way she liked it.
At that thought, she threw her head back, eyes closed, and slid a hand between her legs to rub the already hardened clit.
Sam lowered his gaze, shuddering at the sight, and as a result tightened his grip on her neck, loving the way Y/N instantly squeezed his cock, feeling her become even tighter than she already was.
She gasped as Sam continued to move at a brutal pace, wanting nothing more than to feel her finally start to come around him.
Which she did the moment she tightened her grip around his shaft, making him moan with pleasure.
Y/N felt the orgasm overwhelm her and she couldn't help but moan in pleasure.
“D… Sam!”
She bit down on her lips, squeezing her already closed eyes even tighter, and her cheeks turned red from the embarrassment of having almost moaned out the wrong name.
Sam had to smile at that, giving her a few more thrusts, letting her ride out the orgasm, and only when she collapsed flat on the mattress did he get out of her soaked pussy, causing Y/N to whimper at the loss.
She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her wild heart, and as Sam helped her turn over to lie on the bed between the pillows, she saw him towering over her with a grin on his face.
Blushing and out of breath, she let her eyes roam over his sweaty body, licking her lips at the sight of his still hard cock, opening her legs and welcoming him between them.
Sam moved closer, running his hands up and down her legs, leaning in to greedily search for her lips.
Y/N kissed him back with equal intensity, running her fingers through his long hair, pulling it tighter than she intended and getting a slap on her red, sensitive pussy.
Moaning, she grabbed his hard cock and pumped it quickly, while at the same time Sam slid two fingers into her slit and fingered her vigorously.
She felt herself getting wetter than she thought possible as Sam continued to hit her G-spot.
Unable to do anything but lie there and take whatever he was willing to give her, she let go of his dick and gripped the sheets beneath her, her toes curling in anticipation.
“F-fuck…”
She cried out, collapsed and spilled onto his hand, legs shaking and breathing heavily as she felt the most powerful orgasm of her life.
He looked at her in awe before pulling his fingers from her still throbbing pussy, sucking and tasting them with closed eyes.
As soon as Sam opened them, he looked at her before placing both forearms on either side of her head and pushing the head of his cock against her entrance.
He swallowed her moan with his mouth and kissed her hard and deep, letting Y/N taste herself on his tongue.
She responded to the kiss with everything she had and felt him fill her again in one quick thrust.
“God, Y/N, you feel so fucking good.”
Sam groaned, pounding her pussy with deep, hard thrusts. She arched her back and wrapped both legs around his hips. She could feel his dick throbbing deep inside her thanks to this position, and with the feeling that he was close, she clenched tightly around him.
“Fuck, I’m gonna fill you up good.”
“Yeah, come for me, Sam, please.”
She felt him tremble between her legs, and with three more powerful thrusts he burst inside her, leaving Y/N whimpering as she felt Sam's cum filling her.
His groans echoing through the walls.
Minutes later he stopped in her tight heat, running his fingers along her side, noticing her chest still rising and falling slightly, he leaned down, kissing her swollen lips.
His hand reached for her breast, squeezing and kneading it a few times between his fingers. Then, he let go and stepped out of her warmth.
Y/N shivered at the air hitting her warm skin as Sam put his hands on her knees, spreading them wider and staring at her glistening slit.
She was so fucking beautiful, all spread out for him, just him, and Sam always wondered what it would feel like to have her like that and, fuck, if it wasn't worth it.
So, he couldn't really understand why he hadn't made a move sooner.
As he watched his cum ooze out of her used pussy, Sam moaned, biting his lips, trying to hold on until he couldn't.
“Fuck it…”
He leaned down and licked at her folds, tasting her and himself on Y/N's wet skin. The moment she felt his tongue, a long moan escaped her lips, so she slipped a hand between her legs and ran her fingers through Sam's hair.
He kept on slurping at her pussy, then slid his tongue into her slit, feeling Y/N instantly buck her hips into his mouth.
She was a quivering mess, lying on the bed with her legs spread and Sam's head between them, not really sure how much longer she could hold out.
But she couldn't help imagining what someone...
No, scratch that.
What would Dean have thought if he had walked in the room just then? What would he have thought, seeing her being fucked by his brother?
Y/N bit down on her lips and closed her eyes as she arched her back, still rocking her hips to indulge Sam's tongue.
She cupped her breasts and promptly pinched the hard nipples, trying to get rid of Dean's image, his hands, his lips, but those green eyes seemed to haunt her everywhere.
“Come for me, Y/N, c’mon.”
“Uhm… can’t.”
“Yes, yes, you can. One more time, c’mon.”
Sam's tongue filled her again as he rubbed his skilled fingers over her clit, and in no time, she could feel the pleasure building again.
Her head was still so full of Dean's image as she came on his little brother's tongue that Y/N had to bite down on her own to keep from moaning the wrong name, which was right there, about to slip past her lips.
He drank all of her juices, only letting her go when it became too much for her, and Y/N's leg immediately collapsed on the bed as she tried to get over her high.
Sam rolled over in the sheets beside her, licking his lips where he could still taste her. He glanced in Y/N's direction with a lazy smile on his face, then caught her lips for one last kiss before getting up to disappear into the bathroom.
Y/N stood still, breathing heavily, and staring at the ajar door. And even if she could still feel the buzzing in her body, she forced herself to get out of bed, ad the reality of what had just happened hit her with full force.
Picking up all her clothes, she dressed as best she could and slipped out of the motel room. Once outside, she leaned against the cool wall, breathing in the night air.
What the fuck had she done?
#nlthreenager#spnkinkevents#tell me a story bingo#anyfandomkinkbingo#supernatural#spn#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfic#supernatural fanfiction#spn fic#spn fanfic#spn fanfiction#dean winchester fic#dean winchester#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester fanfiction#sam winchester#sam winchester fic#sam winchester fanfic#sam winchester fanfiction#reader#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x you#sam winchester x y/n
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Just a vent no need to read 🙏 im okay trust‼️‼️
You know its bad when even the happiest of songs dont help 🧍♂️ like aint no way i just cried for over 30 mins and counting. My fucking eyes hurt so damn bad. feels like im fucking up every which way, that aint nobody even want to communicate at all with me. I feel hella unwanted asf, ive literally spent my entire day fucking eating and crocheting, god knows i aint getting no good night sleep and knows im eating too damn much. With the sleep its not even the time i sleep at its the quality. Everyday its a new night terror or some other bullshit. With the eating part i feel like im just being fat as fuck. Last time i weighed myself i was what maybe 250 something. I fucking hate it. I got too fucking comfortable when i reached 239 a while back. Too damn excited. I swear i was being consistent on losing weight but nope. god i wish i was fucking attractive. I keep realizing that im honestly a ugly mother fucker. Aint nothing sweet about it, i thought that maybe if i was a lil more confident then maybe id believe that i was somewhat attractive but everytime i look at myself i want to skin my face off and trade it for a new one. I want to just skin my entire body and slam myself into a wall until im either a living blob of flesh or i die upon impact.
💗Atleast i have someone who loves me for me tho, my girl, my wife, she really makes me happy whenever i hear from her! I just love her so much fr fr‼️‼️ im so thankful that i get to spend my time with her, get to cherish her and give her all the love i got in my body and soul.💗
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Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 34
It's still 1938, it's the Angels Take Manhattan, and we're still with Smith, Amy, Rory and River, except PLOT has happened in between these episodes so we have a million new questions and a million new answers. Also! It's a companion leaving story! Exciting, the first one we've seen. And it means we can remove the "What is happening to all these companions" plot thread, since it makes it clear that each is going to have a leaving story like the various Doctors.
(Also quick housekeeping: we had so many new plot threads last time I forgot some, so I'm adding them in this time.)
OKAY so weirdly, the concept of this story felt like it was going to be at least a two-parter, and it's played as a sort of noir New York mystery, but almost the whole thing is setup and then about five minutes of resolution - it's not bad, per se, but it is an odd structure. There again I personally am rubbish at structure when I write so I suppose I can't judge. I'm pretty good at characters though and also I have a fundamental and genuine understanding of What A Marriage Is, so I can certainly judge the fact that this episode, after dropping the bombs that:
River does kill the Doctor after all but
He clearly lived(?) and then erased himself from history somehow and
River and the Doctor are married (a plot thread answer!)
the characters then REPEATEDLY state that the definition of marriage is "changing the future", a sentiment that is in fact such profoundly dribbling nonsense it could have been extracted from an Edward Lear poem, and could not be a more belaboured and cringeworthy attempt at Summarising The Themes if it tried.
Also, also, there's a bit where River has a broken wrist and the Doctor uses random regeneration energy to heal it, and like... has that always been an option, then??! He can just heal people??? Gosh, I presume that means he's never going to lose anyone important, then, since he can just Super Heal people.
Anyway, the concept is that the Weeping Angels have taken over New York. Or more accurately, a big block of flats in Manhattan (landlords amirite). We get more plot thread answers! Turns out the Angels can only move when unobserved (which explains Whittaker's 'blinking' comments), an absolutely spectacularly good concept that is instantly and consistently undermined and contradicted by literally every single second of this episode. "Of course! the Doctor exclaims in the block of flats. "They've taken Manhattan! They've never had a food source like this before, it's the city that never sleeps!"
He pronounces this like it's a great plot twist that makes perfect sense, which is odd, because it in fact is the dumbest plot hole possible and makes zero sense whatsoever while completely fracturing the entire lore, isn't it. A creature that cannot move when observed would want to stay the farthest away from a city that never sleeps as it was capable of staying, or it would never move again, would it. Manhattan is in fact the last possible place in the galaxy the Angels would go, isn't it. And yet it turns out the Statue of Liberty - which, of course, we saw two episodes ago - is also an Angel, and can apparently just roam around Manhattan. This is certainly a Choice that the writers have made about the most-viewed statue in the world; to turn it into a terrible space monster that can only move when not viewed.
Anyway the building is a battery farm. Angels feed on the time energy from people they send back in time, which creates an altered timeline; they feed off of all the nuances and life events and interactions that will now never be. Here, they are keeping people in their new block of flats and sending them back in time again and again to keep generating this energy; except again, that makes no sense at all, since sending the same person back repeatedly to live exactly the same life in a single room would just create the same time loop repeatedly and thus not displace anything at all after the first cycle, thereby making no time energy. But in any case Rory gets taken, and there's a really horrifying moment where they all realise that he's going to live out the rest of his life, again and again, imprisoned in a single room without Amy.
The Doctor is oddly fine with this, and just sits down to sulk. We've seen this character firey and screaming "Not today! I'm going to save you!" to even randos he just met, but apparently this merely provokes a slightly maudlin sense of glumness. River has to point out that if Rory escapes it will make a paradox and save everyone who is trapped. To do this, Amy and Rory go to the roof and jump off to their deaths, which is very clever - as they fall, the Doctor and River arrive.
"Amy! No!" screams the Doctor. "Amy! Amyyyyyyy! Amy Amy Amy! Ammmyyyyyyyyy!!!!"
Just fucking horse-kick Rory directly in the nuts, why don't you, fuck me. Have you never heard that you shouldn't have favourites? At least TRY to hide it.
Anyway it works and they all get thrown back to present day, and then Rory immediately gets caught by another fucking Angel.
"It's sent him back!" the Doctor cries. "But Amy, you mustn't go back too! New York in 1938 is now too full of time distortions, I can't get back there to save you!"
...
...
... okay I am not a genius Time Lord but methods we have literally seen that could circumvent this either in this show or in this specific episode include:
River's time jump bracelet, which worked just fine in getting her there
Flying the TARDIS to 1939 and picking them up a year later
Flying the TARDIS to 1938 but not New York and just driving to them
Literally a million other methods this is not hard
Anyway other things we get treated to include the Doctor and Rory both commenting that Amy is GASP SHOCK HORROR getting wrinkles, River insisting that women must never let the Doctor see them age because it will cause him Man Pain (I guess Leo diCaprio is playing him soon), Amy earning Shittest Parent Ever by hearing River say this and then telling her in the tearful goodbye scene that she has to be a good girl and look after the Doctor, the Doctor as an afterthought going "Oh wait River those were your parents, sorry, I you must be sad too, should have thought of that" which is... very on brand, and an epilogue in which we get a farewell note from Amy in which she describes a bunch of things she's done. We know some! She mentions Vincent van Gogh, and the time she was a pirate, and refers to Rory as a centurion (I think he was plastic then). She also mentions Rory keeping her safe for 2000 years though, and something about a space whale. Dunno what that's about.
Also the Doctor goes and visits Child Amy to tell her to wait around for him, which is certainly a good topper for this episode.
So! Plot threads!
“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)
There is something on Donna’s back
An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)
Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)
The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)
River is possibly blown up (unless she’s Missy. NEW INFO: she is definitely not blown up)
The TARDIS has blown up (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)
The universe appears to have ended (the universe is back again)
The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole
(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)
There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)
There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons
Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?
What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?
Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)
Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She's with the Silents, but we don't know why Amy saw her)
Why is Amy's pregancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?)
Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?
How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?
What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???
What happened with the Other Cyber War?
What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?
Why does Rose seem particularly important?
What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)
Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?
Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri
There is a Lupari shield around Earth.
What’s a Time War?
What’s the Rift?
What’s Bad Wolf?
In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?
Who is the Master?
Why has Amy forgotten Rory?
Is Rory plastic or not?
Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?
How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?
What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?
Which friend killed Strax?
Which friend brought Strax back?
Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?
What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?
How does Clara actually join?
Why so many Claras?
Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?
Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?
What is Trensilor and what happened there?
Who is Handles?
The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man
The universe is being crushed by the Flux
Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?
Sontarans are invading Earth again
Who is Kate?
Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?
The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent
Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?
How did the Doctor forget Clara?
Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?
How did Nardole die?
When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?
When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?
Whittaker is falling to her death rn
Was that ring relevant?
Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?
When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?
When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?
What’s happening with the bees?
What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?
What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?
What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”
If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?
How did the rest of the Time Lords die?
How and why did Amy melt?
What's the question that will make silence fall?
Why do the Silents... want silence to fall?
How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he... hasn't even heard of them?
How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?
What's the significance of fish fingers and custard?
Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?
What happened with the space whale?
When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years?
How does the Doctor survive River
How does he erase himself from history
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Doctor just told me the most devastating news. No, I'm fine -- I definitely have sleep apnea, and FINALLY, I can do something about it now. That's the good news. The bad news? She wants me to stop staying out late at Karaoke. Specifically, she wants me to have a consistent bedtime between ALL the days of the week, including the weekend. And I work at 7 am on weekdays. I go to bed at 8:00 to 8:30 on weeknights (or at least aim to). She wants me to go to bed at 8:30 or 9:00 on WEEKENDS. Karaoke STARTS at 8 pm.
This is fucking AWFUL for me. Karaoke is what keeps me going through the week. Karaoke is what makes me able to function even when I'm having a bad day. Something horrible happens to me or just in general, and I think, "well, at least I have Karaoke this weekend." And now I can only sing 1-3 songs (IF I follow my doctor's advice, which... we'll see). Like, I'm sure it seems so trivial to anyone else, but Karaoke is my FAVORITE thing to do and when everything else in my life fucking SUCKS it's what I always come back to. Because my friends are busy and tired. Karaoke is at the same time every week. And I get to support a local business when I go to the karaoke bar. The staff and some of the patrons there know me. I'm a regular. Karaoke is one of my main coping mechanisms right now. It's THERE for me. The drinking I can quit and the weight I can lose and a lot of my friends move away because it sucks here. But Karaoke is always there. Where else can I go sing? My apartment isn't big enough to have Karaoke parties anymore. This bar is the only place nearby that does Karaoke on weekends. There is no afternoon Karaoke. There are no other options.
I almost cried in that office. I NEED Karaoke. I don't know how else I'm going to get through the next 4 years. When the rest of my human rights are stripped away and my friends can't have their meds anymore, Karaoke was going to be my solace. I can't get proper medical care if someone rapes me again bevause abortion is illegal with no exceptions in Idaho, and "crossdressing" is going to be a crime, and everyone I know is going to fucking suffer, and so many people are going to die, but at least I could go scream into a microphone at Karaoke. And the whole bar will scream with me if I pick the right songs.
#yeah sex is great but have you ever done karaoke?#i'm so sad#i'm not going to stop going. i know my sleep suffers and the rest of my body suffers. but goddamn if karaoke isn't one bit of joy that i...#...am NOT willing to give up right now. if trump had lost the election then maybe it wouldn't be so gutting. but he did and it is.#also lol apparently when i paid $200 out of pocket for my home sleep test 3 years ago my results showed super clear sleep apnea...#...and i stopped breathing 9-10 times per hour and 63 times total on a very conservative estimate. and i was told that...#...since i only had 'one blip' of sleep apnea that my insurance wouldn't cover treatment and i couldn't get a cpap and i would just have...#...to lose weight. that the rest of my life i'd have terrible sleep and choking rape dreams because i can't get treatment for the...#...sleep apnea that i don't have badly enough to warrant doing anything about it.#my specialist doctor literally put her head in her hands and said she has no idea why i wasn't treated for sleep apnea 3 years ago because..#...i very obviously have it and she doesn't know how this happened other than just 'lack of care'. i'm pissed honestly. but i'll...#...go on THAT rant some other time.#personal#not tagged#rant
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Discussion of disordered eating, trouble with feeding myself due to autism
trying really hard not to lose hope with eating because i feel like i had made such progress and gotten so much better about eating consistently and then these past few weeks its just gotten. so much harder. like i am at the very least eating SOMETHING each day, but i keep getting surprised with feeling Bad and realizing that im just not feeding myself enough anymore but its so hard to think about food when it all seems so unappealing and the act of eating is so unpleasant. like for sure part of the issue is that my parents have been gone so much so there just isnt as much food at home because we aren’t shopping, but also without other humans at home i tend to forget that i have to eat on a human, hourly schedule and not the schedule of days and weeks that all my other beings have. if my parents are home i remember that they need to be fed, so i need to be fed, but without them, i don’t remember til i’m so uncomfortable i’d rather just sleep through it.
also sad because my Trusty Bag of Microwaved Popcorn which was one of the best ways to get a lot of calories in if i hadn’t been able to eat much or if id had a bad ibs day and lost most of what id eaten anyway is now giving me heartburn so bad that i cant talk in the morning, so i also can’t eat it anymore, at least not regularly. And the replacement that im trying is okay, but not the same. I read volume 3 of she loves to cook, she loves to eat and a new character struggles with eating at all, but not for fat-related reasons and i have never felt so seen in my life.
Eating is just. Hard. It’s scary. I’m trying and I’m doing it scared, but doing something necessary for life like that is fucking exhausting.
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Quick rant about health issues I'm having
So I find small lump in the back of my neck about a year and a half ago. Smaller than the tip of a pen. Nothing serious, I could be sick or stressed so I leave it alone. 2 weeks later I start having pain in lower area of both my legs. The front is the tender, the back feels like a big bruise. And the pain keeps getting worse and worse. One day my legs fall from under me, I fall down the stairs, twists my ankle and absolutely smash my head on the stairs.
Pain keeps getting worse, I'm at a 6 during the day and a 9 at night. Walking hurts, going up stairs hurts, and a run out of breath easily. I've collapsed into tears because it hurts so much. I can't do chores like I used to. No matter how much I sleep I'm always tired. I get MRIs on my neck and legs, and blood test done, Doc says everything is normal but I'm anemic. I'm having daily headaches, I'm thirsty all the time (like going through a small case of 12 water bottles in less than 2 days), I'm itchy all over to the point I've made myself bleed, and bruises and scrapes are popping up with no reason. Go back for another blood test like 8 months later, Doc says again everything is "normal." I'm told by an Orthopedic doctor to lose weight.
Lump has grown to about two finger tips big and is unmovable.
I DO lose weight, over 25 pounds in 5 months, mostly because of lack of appetite (eating one meal a day) and the meal isn't even that healthy, it's fucking pork cutlet, rice, and fries. I do MMA with a club, not consistently just once every two weeks if I do go, love it but pain is so bad after.
I'm seeing a Rhaeumtologist to see if it's an Autoimmune disease. If someone tells me again the pain is psychosomatic I'm ending up on the news
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