#@subtlyfailing

[raphaelesbian]

Raph enjoyer here!! They're unfortunately so rare 😭😭 and I don't save them often unfortunately, but:

This is one of my FAVORITES:

These are all Clash of the Mutanimals themed, bc ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

And then uhh it can't really be a RECOMMENDATION bc it's my own fic lol, but it IS Raph-centric! Ongoing but pretty close to done

I see you've been doing fic recs, do you have any good Raphael-centric fics? He's my favorite turtle in the entire franchise but it's hard to find good content for him at times :^(

cant say i remember any sorry 😔

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Some of my favorite TMNT fics on AO3

Note: these fics are not in any particular order, and there are plenty of others that I like which might not be on the list for whatever reasons. I might also add to this post later on.

The Chronicles of Karai Getting Her Shit Together by Crowdog - TMNT 2012. Post season 2-canon divergence where Karai shows up at the farmhouse instead of staying in the city. Her relationship with Leo blossoms as they’re both forced to face their inner demons. A beautiful, vicious, surprisingly funny story about coping with trauma while being a young monster in love. Tw for abuse, torture, PTSD, disabilities, noncon, alcoholism, molestation.

77 Things Michelangelo is Not Allowed to Do on a Mission by Winnychan - All versions. A cute, funny parody of “Skippy’s List” from a great writer who was taken too soon.

My R by cxlesstial - TMNT 2012. Pushed to the edge, Leo is forced to confront the sufferings of his loved ones along with his own. Inspired by Miss Chief’s beautiful, heartbreaking Youtube videos My R and Self-Inflicted Achromatic. Tw for depictions of depression and suicidal thoughts/actions.

superfight by persepoline - TMNT 2018. “You’d think Leo’s superiority complex and Donnie’s inferiority complex would be at least somewhat compatible. They’re not.” Humor and angst ensue; cw for discussions of disability.

Water, Contrast by Anonymous - TMNT 2012. A short, strange examination of the girl known as Oroku Karai and the ugly things that have shaped her.

sub!Leo prompts by GoblinCatKC - A collection of sexy stories, ranging from the sweet to the vicious, based on Tumblr prompts. Contains BDSM, explicit sexual content, and Turtlecest. Tw for various forms of dub-con and non-con.

Casting Stones at the River by GoblinCatKC - TMNT 2003. An immortality fic with plenty of angst and NSFW sex, including T-cest and polyamory. One of the first TMNT fics I ever read, and still one of the best. 

By Arrangement by theherocomplex - An Arranged Marriage AU where the fate of a world-saving alliance between humans and mutants rests on a reluctant union between Donatello Hamato and warrior April O’Neil. A sweet, funny slow-burn fic.

Not Our Problem by Kyn - “Set in a future in which the Foot took over the East Coast for over a decade. The three surviving turtles have finally killed Shredder, but remain bitter, jaded, scarred, and more than a little distrusting of humanity. Lots of hurt/comfort/psychology/fraternal love/infighting. Involves a baby.” Warnings for discussions of infanticide and suicide, attempted rape/non-con, and coping with disability.

All the small things by taizi - TMNT 2012. When an accident leaves Donnie unusually smol, Mikey has to deal with being a big brother for the first time ever.

Antithesis by VenusTheMarvelTurtle -  All versions. A Foot Leo AU with an Enemies to Unhealthy Lovers romance and heavy BDSM. Contains bad relationships, hateful speech, incest, references to abuse and rape, dubious consent, and graphic depictions of violence.

Hypnotised by squishyturtlefuckfics - TMNT 2018. A sexy, ugly ending to episode “Newsworthy.” Tw for rape.

Unraveled by ChickInRed and Ikara - TMNT 2012. “Donnie's hiding a secret, one he believes will destroy his family should they ever discover it. Little does he know his brothers have a secret as well, but unlike him they can't wait for him to find out.” A hot, sweet, occasionally heart wrenching fic with turtlecest and infant death.

jade green eyes turned white by subtlyfailing - TMNT 2012. A powerful and brutal exploration of the dark Raph storyline at its fullest potential.

Completely Casual by Werepirechick - TMNT 2012. Casey, Donnie, and eventually April stumble into a relationship. Winner of FIRST PLACE in the Universal TMNT Erotica Fanfic Competition 2016 for STEAMIEST SLASH/FEMSLASH. Warnings for self-loathing and bad guys being hateful.

Baby Diaries by the Peanut Gallery by moonie - TMNT 2003. The TMNT and their allies record their thoughts after one of Bishop’s schemes leaves them with a very small new member.

A Son For A Daughter by sleepseeker - TMNT 2012. When Splinter attempts to briefly trade Leo to the Foot in order to rescue Karai, he makes a grave miscalculation that will upend all their lives. Tw for intense non-con and mutilation.

Devil took your hand by moogsthewriter and taizi - TMNT 2012. The Hamato Clan races to save their youngest member after he’s brainwashed by the Foot; a beautiful and terrible story full of angst, violence, and survival.

in the bitter watches by impossiblewanderings - TMNT 2012. Raph speaks to Leo as he lies in a coma, spilling the broken and terrified pieces of his heart.

Past to Present by crabapplered - TMNT 2003. A sad, sexy tale of the SAINW TMNT bonding with each other and their newly returned Donnie through group intercouse, because why not?

Raphael/Donatello Mating Drabbles by Plastron - TMNT 2003. A steamy anthology with turtlecest and the occasional touch of dub con.

These Are Our Days by love_killed_the_superstar - All versions. An adorable description of Mikey and Woody’s relationship.

Ten Minutes by kay_cricketed - Mirage verse. Leo pushes himself to the edge in order to meet a seemingly inconsequential goal. A lyrical, angsty story from a spectacular writer.

Ronin by Lexifer - TMNT 2012. A Leorai story in the aftermath of a devastating final battle between two clans.

Laugh Till It Hurts by BrightLotusMoon -TMNT 2003. Love, angst, and peculiar coping methods in the aftermath of a battle.

Freeze, Starve, and Break Stuff by Abnormal_Cleric  - Raph is cracking at the edges, and Donnie might be the only one who can pull him back. Tw for self-loathing and self-harm.

Together Again by InkyTurtle (Melodistic) - TMNT 2012. Donnie has finally gotten his beloved brothers back--sort of. Now the question is whether he’s the turtle they left behind.

can’t let a cold heart be free. by Chandrakantya - An angsty little Leorai story on a rooftop.

Gravid Problems by Gemi - The TMNT are in for a big change after Donnie gives Leo and Raph some very interesting news. A sweet, funny, adorable little work; warnings for mpreg and tcest.

Countdown to Clarity by LittleKy - 2007 movie and other versions. An angsty reverse-chronology fic discussing the cracks that might have spread through Leo and Raph’s relationship.

Big Brother by outrunningdismay - “AU where the brothers hatched at different times.” A adorable work full of smol turtles and Leo learning to be a big brother one step at a time.

Maelstrom by FicklePencil - Raph’s thoughts in the aftermath of “Broken Foot.” A lot of angst for a rather short fic.

Also, here’s a list of my favorite TMNT works from orphaned accounts.

[kaikamahine]

"It's got to be weird to find your own body inadequate where it's never been inadequate before" SHOOT ME, THIS TAG IS JASPER, THIS IS HER CHARACTER, HER BEAUTIFUL, HORRIBLE, FLAWED CHARACTER. THIS I JASPER BEING TOLD SHE IS THE PERFECT SOLDIER BECAUSE BETA WAS A DISASTER AND SHE WAS THE ONLY THING RIGHT ABOUT IT. THIS IS JASPER CREATED TO FIGHT, LOSING TO THE ENEMY. THIS IS JASPER TASTING THE POISON THAT IS POWER, AND EVERYTHING SHE IS, IS SUDDENLY NOT ENOUGH. HOLY BALLS I WANNA FIC IT SO BAD

“THE WEAK MUST BE PURGED,” she says to Amethyst in Earthlings.

And she says it standing in the heart of her native land – surrounded by the crooked holes that had once housed her fellow kindergartners, who were forged stunted and misshapen, forged sideways, and thrown into a war despite their clear disadvantage and who are all gone –

(– and I will bet you two doughnuts that Lapis was not Jasper’s first fusion. I will bet you two doughnuts that Jasper’s commanders saw her and said, “what a damn shame we have to resort to cheap tactics, but if we fuse her with the weaker ones maybe we’ll get one worthwhile body out of this mess.” I will bet you two doughnuts that she fused, and fused, and fused, and felt her kindergartners’ awareness of their own inadequacy, felt their fear and misery, and didn’t know how to comfort them because it was war, and lost them anyway.) 

“THE WEAK MUST BE PURGED,” she says to Amethyst.

And she says it standing in front of her horrific menagerie – all her imprisoned, corrupted gems, because hey, if Lapis could find her unquestionable, unbeatable core of strength by collaring a weaker gem and pinning her down, then maybe it will work if Jasper does it, too.

(– and then she can stop feeling like this, right? Her body was the only thing that set her apart from the rest of her army, it’s why she survived and they did not, and if she doesn’t have that, what does she have.)

“THE WEAK MUST BE PURGED,” she says –

And she’s talking about herself.

[ao3feed-stevenuniverse]

you're gonna carry that weight

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2q4DyLR

by subtlyfailing

"The weak must be purged", she hisses. Alone here, in her motherland. In a paradise that became an ugly ruin before she was even born into it. This is a warzone. This is a prison. This corrupting, corrupted place is enemy territory. But what does that matter? She is made for fighting, isn’t she?

Jasper survives. She goes mad with it. Those two are not mutually exclusive.

Words: 2178, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Steven Universe (Cartoon)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Jasper (Steven Universe), Steven Universe, Amethyst (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Peridot (Steven Universe), Malachite (Steven Universe)

Relationships: Steven Universe & Jasper, Jasper & Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Jasper & Rose Quartz, Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Amethyst & Jasper, Jasper & Yellow Diamond, Jasper & Pink Diamond

Additional Tags: Homeworld mentality, Post-War

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2q4DyLR

[ao3feed-harurin]

Living alongside ghosts. The Matsuoka Family

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2nxUERq

by subtlyfailing

Rin was six years old when his father went off to sea and never came back. He was six years old and held his little sister’s hand at the back of the funeral procession, all clad in sorrow and white silk. He was six years old with people telling him “it’ll be okay son, it’ll get easier to bear eventually”.

Somehow, he thinks, it never did.

He remembers the weeks following the funeral clearly. His grandmother’s wrinkled fingers scrubbing dishes in the kitchen sink for hours and hours, the taste of the casseroles that the old widow next door would bring over (to this day he can never really eat spaghetti without remembering how their mother would cry over the empty seat at the kitchen table). He remembers that cold emptiness inside of him that never really went away.

-- The Matsuoka Family learns how to live after Toraichi's death

Words: 7436, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 4 of For those whose stories were not told.

Fandoms: Free!

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, Multi

Characters: Matsuoka Gou, Matsuoka Rin, Matsuoka Gou & Rin's Mother, Matsuoka Kyou, Matsuoka Gou & Rin's Grandmother, Matsuoka Toraichi, Yamazaki Sousuke, Yamazaki Sousuke's Mother, Nanase Haruka, Tachibana Makoto

Relationships: Matsuoka Gou & Rin's Mother/Matsuoka Toraichi, Matsuoka Rin & Matsuoka Toraichi, Matsuoka Rin & Yamazaki Sousuke, Matsuoka Gou & Yamazaki Sousuke, Matsuoka Rin & Nanase Haruka, Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka, Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke, Matsuoka Gou/Yamazaki Sousuke

Additional Tags: Family Feels, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Relationships, Soft Suffering, Single mothers make the world go around, Single Parents, I named their mother misaki just so you know, Prologue, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2nxUERq

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Best Raph Angst 2012

This was meant to be an answer for @casperheav, but I think I broke Tumblr’s post or something because I found so many good fics (this is the most thorough I’e ever been for one of these). So now it’s a collection of posts that will be gathered in a master list. Tcest stories are not included, per request, although I have found some angsty ones.

One shots

  jade green eyes turned white by subtlyfailing - Raph is brainwashed much longer than in canon, and the results are devastating (tw violence and mental health issues)

Inside Out by vacant houses (the_lost_robot) - Raph in the aftermath of The Creep (tw for mentions of body horror)

in the bitter watches by impossiblewanderings - Raph keeps a long vigil, but not a silent one (tw discussion of injury)

Sai, Sigh by nemsolele - Character study for a damaged turtle in the aftermath of the brain worms (tw violence, eye trauma, imprisonment, self-harm, mental health issues, and PTSD) the way back home by taizi (@taizi) Raph is struggling to regain himself, but he isn’t alone (tw trauma and self-loathing)

The Prize by orphan_account - Raph is captured and faces a truly terrible kind of cruelty (tw for non-consensual drug use graphic gang rape)

(Mind) Control by Intomyfireyoushallfall (scorpiontales) - Examining how the brain worm could have rewritten Raph’s world (tw for false memories of abuse, violence, and death)

And after the bombs subside by moogsthewriter - Clash of the Mutanimals AU, Raph struggles to bear the weight of what he’s done (tw injury and memories of violence)

Breathe by asandygraves for Werepirechick - Raph needs his brother to keep him from drowning on dry land (tw trauma, panic attacks, and past violence)

It's Not Loud Enough by Purfectpink - Art, not a fic, but it’s one of the purest expressions of Raph angst I’ve ever encountered. Artist is on Inkbunny, but the picture itself is non-shippy and SFW. In Memoriam by blackwyvern - Raph finds himself in a reality that is at once forever altered and totally unchanged (tw for character death, past violence, denial, and mental health issues)

The Burrower Feeds by @sleepingseeker - Raph struggles with the impact of the brain worms (tw for violent thoughts and self-harm) Conversations and a Good Night's Rest by SparkyFrootloops - Donnie helps Raph deal with a painful shared memory.

Cracked Screen by Jaxopil - Raph is guilty and helpless after Donnie endures the unimaginable (tw for rape and self-loathing) Mirror by fireworksinthenight - Raph deals with his feelings regarding the friendship between Leo and Karai (some violence, but not Leorai if you’re not interested in that)

Fire And Oxygen: Phoenix From Ashes by BrightLotusMoon - Raph is left guilty and traumatized after Mikey experiences a brutal assault (tw for rape and violence)

Fire And Oxygen: I'll Fall With Your Knife by BrightLotusMoon - Raph needs Mikey’s help after losing control of his newfound psychic abilities (tw violence, death, injury, self-harm)

The Last Enemy by pan_demic - Raph is haunted by a recurring nightmare, and the advice he gets might make things worse (tw suicidal implications and self-loathing)

Last Cup of Sorrow by crazycatlady713 for blackwyvern - Donnie helps Raph deal with an oncoming loss (use of r word if that bothers you) Wait by Neko_HaniChan - The things Raph won’t say about his time at his brother’s side. Inferno by lukeyandlou - Raph pushes Mikey too far and deals with the consequences (tw self-loathing)

Maelstrom by FicklePencil - Raph’s POV in the midst of “Broken Foot”

Silenced Thoughts by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account - Raph wrestles with his guilt after almost killing Mikey on the Aeon Planet (tw self-loathing)

Hated Resemblance by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account - Raph has a nightmare, and it only gets worse after he wakes up (tw self-loathing)

No Fear by MoTexas55 (CupNoodles55) - Raph’s terror of bugs is amplified after a painful experience, and he needs Leo’s help (tw insect grossness, trauma, and nightmares)

Confidences by Adoradork - Raph can barely handle his own misery, and everyone keeps dumping their own on him (tw injury and abandonment)

The Real Monster by sartiebodyshots - Raph blames himself for Spike’s rampage (tw self-loathing)

Fissures by sleepingseeker - Raph is in love with April, and it’s almost too painful to bear (tw self-esteem issues)

Rain on Steel by sleepingseeker - Splinter helps a young Raph deal with a seemingly humorous, but deeply troubling problem (tw teasing and self-esteem issues) Favorites by Ravenshell - A small Raph copes with a loss that has bigger implications. Unbind Me: Three is Better Than None by her_silhouette for FeeFido - With Raph lost to them, Donnie has to make a sacrifice (tw character death) “Violet” A Deep And Thorny Tangle by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Violets are the Hanakotoba flowers of honesty, and Raph has some things to own up to. (tw alcoholism, trauma, and past violence)

“Oh, mercy me, mercy my” from It's your Candyland where dreamers dance (And I promise that it's safe) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph needs Leo’s help to confront horrifying memories (tw past rape and flashbacks) “Counterparts” ABC TMNT by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - An interdimensional encounter gives Raph a frightening revelation (tw trauma, mental health issues, and self-loathing)

“Enemy” from ABC TMNT II: Out Of The Ooze by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey tries to bring Raph back to the light (tw violence and mentions of suicidal thoughts) Chapter Fics

Just a Dream by orphan_account - A raphril story where April tries to help Raph recover from the brain worms (tw mental health issues, violence, intoxication, sexual implications, false memories of abuse)

Raphael's Haiku by Firebird Scratches - Splinter finds an unusual way to bond with his most recalcitrant son when he attempts to teach his children the arts (tw self-harm, self-loathing, and mental health issues)

Unspoken Affection by mo.texas55 - Raph’s jealousy over the friendship between Leo and Donnie leads them all to some very dark places (tw violence, bullying, graphic injury, and dysfunctional family)

In Another Lifetime, Maybe by Fiiu - AU. A captive Raph crosses paths with a pare of long-lost brothers (tw violence, torture, threats, abuse, slavery, and general cruelty)

Day 0 and all the days after. by Werepirechick (@spectrumscribe) - The ruins of the Hamato clan, after the end (tw violence, destruction, grief, loss, moral quandaries, amnesia, bigotry and general misery)

Two Sides of a Mirror by Werepirechick (@spectrumscribe​) - Oroku Saki sees something of himself in Raph, and decides to turn him to his side (tw violence, imprisonment, hunger, torture, non-consensual drug use, emotional/psychological abuse and manipulation)

The Scar by Manawolf - Turtle tots story of how Raph might have gotten his scar (tw injury)

The Waste Land by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and his family after the end of the world (tw death, violence, suicide, mentions of rape, amnesia, gore, torture, brutality, trauma)

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Do you know of any other fics like "Mind meld part delux"

Well, first, thank you for not insulting me or being anonymous. I've had some bad experiences with that.

Second, it depends on what you mean by "like" Mind Meld Part Deux. If you mean angsty rottmnt Donnie-focused fics, I know a few good ones:

I. Angelo by PrincessFreak (Definitely the closest to Mind Meld I can think of in terms of Donnie-betraying-his-brothers, but not for you if you don't like smut, tcest, and noncon).

2. A Scientific Blemish by CharmyWizard, eternalglitch, jadethestone, tiramisu_art (Donnie gets captured by the writers' version of 2018 Bishop and has to escape; writing and comic blend)

3. Sad Machine by dragondawdles (Donnie "dies" and deals with the fallout of having to transfer his consciousness of a robot)

4. Got Your Back by FoxGlade (Focuses on Donnie dealing with the whole "soft-shell" issue and how it amounts to a disability in his world)

5. The Kids Are (Almost) Alright by LynxCore (A hunted Draxum shows up at the Lair and Donnie has trouble forgiving him)

6. pathetic by cxlesstial (A mental-health fic dealing with self-harm and other serious issues; very good, but also full of trigger warnings)

7. superfight by persepoline (Donnie gets in a fight with Leo that has big repercussions for them both)

8. lockdown by guide_to_the_galaxy for hotmuffincrumbs (Donnie's mind basically starts to disintegrate; now with a sequel)

And this is less likely, but if you are asking about post mind-alteration fics in general (these are all TMNT 2012, btw):

1. the way back home by taizi (post Clash of the Mutanimals, Raph and Mikey)

2. Devil took your hand by moogsthewriter, taizi - (Foot Mikey AU)

3. And after the bombs subside by moogsthewriter (Clash of the Mutanimals AU, Raph and Mikey)

4. jade green eyes turned white by subtlyfailing (Clash of the Mutanimals AU where it took Raph a lot longer to get out from Shredder's control)

5. Desolation by goodstoryfan (Post-Season 2 inspired by City Fall with a brainwashed Leo, now a series)

6. The Devil In I by Kareh (Another post-season 2 AU with City Fall elelemtsn)

And those are the ones that come to mind most quickly.

If this isn't what you were asking about, please feel free to message me again!